#I am not very good with specific definitions of words sometimes so I probably used some words wrong but hopefully not the Big One

[wet-from-water-water-from-wet]

I have been trying to understand what it is a "chaser" is (in the context of dating trans women) and I am having some difficulty. I see people using the word a lot in a multitude of slightly different contexts and the word seems a little too wiggly for it's own good

to my understanding, the most common definition of a "chaser" I see is someone who is attracted to women with penises in a fetishistic manner, with a general air of "it's rude to fetishize a part of our bodies we don't want"

but like, clearly this isn't a perfect definition. plenty of trans women enjoy having penises, I am one of them. so does it only apply then to trans women who don't want to have them?

I have heard people say things along the lines of "people of this variety tend to not think of trans women as women and instead as femboys or 'sissy boymoders'", and I don't know how I feel about that.

I'm generally not a fan of claims of this variety linking an attraction or fetish to a specific negative behavior, it feels a little icky to do that to me. you can't control attraction, we know this, so I don't think it's fair to establish this sort of, what would you call it, association? prejudice?

this has a variety of other bad vibes to me as well. if you're asserting that the only reason you'd be attracted by a woman's penis is because you don't see her fully as a woman, you're associating attraction to penises as attraction to masculinity, and isn't that just a complicated way of saying that having a penis is an inherently masculine trait? I don't see my having a penis as masculine. it's fine for someone to feel that way about themselves I suppose, but a definition that hinges on it is an imperfect one.

beyond that even, if this were the problem, then it wouldn't make sense to use "chaser" to negatively refer to a variety of person, the actual bad thing would be the other thing that's only associated with the title, making the word "chaser" kind of pointless. just have a word for the thing that is actually supposed to be bad instead of an arbitrary extra layer of obfuscation.

I have heard people say that the problem lies in how it specifies an attraction to a difference between trans women and cis women, implying them to be fundamentally different somehow

thing is, I don't think it does imply that. if the fundamental difference is the presence of the penis, then that doesn't apply to trans women who don't have penises. hence, it's not actually implying a distinction between trans women and cis women, it's a distinction between women with penises and women without penises.

that's not a meaningless distinction the same way trans vs. cis is. sex with a woman with a penis will be different than sex with a woman without one, and that's the distinction being made here. I don't think that distinction is a necessarily transphobic one to make, even in the case that it's a specific fetishization of women with penises.

and I mean, cis women can have penises too if they really wanted them, right? it's certainly not a likely occurrence but trans women aren't the only kind that can have them

this may be where my understanding reaches a limit, as a demisexual I have a difficult time deliniating between what's supposed to count as "healthy" attraction and what is "unhealthy" or "superficial" attraction when it comes to these kinds of nonspecific public attractions

to me to have these kinds of fetishistic attractions directed towards me is cool I think. I enjoy it. makes me feel powerful. to me it is a perk of being a trans woman with a penis

ultimately my main gripe with the word chaser is that it boils down to "any kind of fetishization of women with penises", but that's not like. a problem, unless the woman in question doesn't want that. any and all of the above things can be rude and hurtful when directed at a woman who does not wish to have a penis, but that isn't all trans women, so such a universally applied word doesn't make sense I don't think.

the real issue is just one with boundaries innit, it's "don't fetishize things about people if they don't like that." all the extra stuff that chaser implies seems to obfuscate the actual point to me, arbitrarily demonizing attraction to trans women. being trans isn't all about misery

[weasleykisses]

You’re So Pretty I (Remus Lupin x Reader)

(GIF not mine)

A/N: Remus and you very clearly like each other, however, hes convinced you have a crush on a mutual best friend. Friend-to-lovers, fem!oblivious!reader, jealous!Remus, mutual pining

Loosely influenced by the song “ur so pretty” by Wasia Project.

word count: 3.9k

________

“Going on another study date, Y/N?” Marlene asked as she watched her dorm mate gather up her books and a couple scrolls into her bag. Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Don’t lie to yourself. You aren’t just going to study.”

“As a matter of fact, I am going to just study.”

The blonde haired girl wasn’t the only one that pestered Y/N about her crush. Despite never admitting to it directly, her friends ganged up on her and joked about it fairly often. “You won’t learn anything from drooling over Lupin the whole time,” Marlene laughed.

“I do not drool over Remus. He’s just a good study partner.”

“Whatever you say.”

She finished packing her bag and making sure her uniform was straight. Her hands slid down her skirt to smooth it out and through her hair as she looked into the standing mirror. Wanting to look presentable did not mean she was trying to impress him. Definitely not. She just didn’t want to look unkempt, is all.

When she was confident she didn’t look like she just rolled out of bed, she turned to leave her dorm and head to the library. She waved to Marlene who made a heart shape with her hands jokingly. After so long, she’d gotten used to the teasing though, just dismissing her with a ‘tsk��.

She left the common room without another confrontation by one of her friends, walking leisurely to the library where her transfiguration textbook waited. She was never the best in transfiguration, or charms, or defense against the dark arts; truthfully she wasn’t very good at anything most people would would consider important. Her saving grace was care for magical creatures.

Sometimes she felt herself grow so embarrassed by her lack of skill, but Remus never made fun of her for it. He helped her fix the issue, and she was grateful to him for that. He was probably the only reason she passed her classes the past few years.

Kids bustled around the halls and the stairways as she walked through the castle. The sound of her feet clicking on the marble floors kept her occupied as she walked through the familiar walkways. She listened in on some conversations as she passed by, eavesdropping when she shouldn’t.

The only other thing on her mind was her study partner, who she found herself growing awfully attached to over their years at Hogwarts. Now that they were in their seventh year, she occasionally felt herself completely consumed by her crush on him, which she quickly tried to correct by thinking of something else.

It wasn’t that she wanted to smother down her crush on the boy, she just didn’t want it to take over her life. It would never happen, and the inevitable rejection would destroy her. It was normal for her to not get her hopes up, terrified of being disappointed in the end.

Sometimes, she just wanted to forget about him and fancy someone actually obtainable. Someone like the hoard of boys that confessed to her over the years, bringing her flowers and candy and sweet love notes. Only she didn’t like them and couldn’t bring herself to pretend. Her friends asked why she never accepted any of the propositions, to which she would just say she was waiting for someone specific.

Eventually some of her friends figured out who she liked. At first it was Lily, and then the rest of the girls followed suit after seeing her interact with the tall boy enough times. She suspected that Sirius knew as well, knowing how perceptive he was. He would send her some suggestive looks now and again when Remus wasn’t looking, which she just ignored for the most part.

Still, no matter how hard she fought it, she fell deeper and deeper into her infatuation with Remus Lupin. She thought he was the most handsome, smart, kind boy she’d ever met. He was just perfect in her eyes. He could do no wrong.

And so, she found herself drowning in her feelings for the boy. Honestly, it was difficult to keep afloat. To be around him and pretend she just wanted to be a friend. To pretend she didn’t want to cuddle him when they sat on the couch together. To pretend she didn’t want to kiss him every time he smiled her way.

Before entering the library, she took a deep breath and smoothed down her hair once more. Confident in her ability to socialize with him without completely falling apart, she pushed open the heavy wood door and into the large room filled with whispering voices and floating textbooks.

Remus sat in their normal spot towards the corner where not a lot of people crowded around. It was quieter, and he preferred that. For Y/N, she was just happy to get more one on one time with him. The other marauders wouldn’t step foot in the library so she didn’t worry about them. Lily maintained her distance when she was studying. She wanted to give the pair some “private time”, as she had said once when teasing her friend.

“Hey, Rem,” she quietly greeted him, giving him a small wave. He peered up from the novel he was reading, giving her a warm smile back. It was adorable. Everything he did was adorable, really.

She took a seat beside him, setting her bag to the side. She pulled out her transfiguration textbook. He was particularly good in this subject, so this would be easier than something like Charms.

“How are you?” He asked.

“I’m fine. How was your day?”

“It was okay. The guys are planning a new prank for tomorrow so they’ve been pestering me about that,” he told her, and she nodded. He loved their pranks secretly, not wanting to come across as immature. Not to mention, James could be a little overwhelming. Especially when he spent the nights with Sirius planning, keeping the other two boys awake.

She grinned brightly. “Oh really? What are they gonna do?” She loved pranks, as long as they weren’t directed towards her. They were an escape from the strictness of the school, not to mention a relief when certain Slytherin were involved.

“Stink bombs in the Slytherin locker room. Nothing fancy.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“I suppose.”

Her eyes trailed down the book that was sitting in his lap now. To get a better look, she leaned closer to him and tried to read the upside text. “What are you reading today?” It was normal that they exchanged books after reading it, that way they could discuss the novels together once they were both done.

“Shakespeare.”

Her eyes widened and she urged him on, “What play?”

“Midsummer’s Night Dream.”

“That’s my favorite! I'm so glad you’re reading it,” she told him happily, clapping her hands together from excitement. As a muggle born witch, she loved when her friends experienced a bit of her world. Shakespeare was just a taste. He’d read a couple other muggle books before, but mainly it was novels by famous wizards and witches.

He smiled, tucking the book into his own bag. “I know. That’s why I picked it.”

“You remembered! I’m excited to talk to you about it when you’re done.” He had to look away from her face. She was so beautiful when she got excited, it made him want to swoop in and give her a thousand little kisses. Of course, he wasn’t insane, so he wasn’t going to do that. He was always looking at her, catching glimpses of her captivating smile and her sparkling eyes. When she looked away, he peered over at her and just watched, regardless of where they were. In class, while studying, in the common rooms. He couldn’t help but stare.

It wasn’t a coincidence he picked her favorite play. He wanted to see her get all giddy because of their two person book club. Anything to see her happy. It seemed he had successfully achieved that, too.

“So what did you need help with?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure. I’m doing well in all my classes right now. Probably because of you, but still,” she told him. Honestly, she never really wanted to study, it was just her way of hanging out with Remus for a while. “Do you want to do something else other than sit in here?” Y/N asked, a bit nervous he might say no.

He leaned on his elbow, cheek pressed to his palm. “Depends. What do you have in mind?” He asked, even though he knew he’d say yes to basically anything she could ask. She could ask him to join her in the broom closet for a snog and he would agree.

She thought for a moment, tapping a finger on her lips as she pondered what they could do. There wasn’t anything she desperately needed done, and it wasn’t close to dinner yet.

“Do you want to come with me to feed the nifflers and diricawls?” It was the only class she excelled in. Hagrid allowed her to come and visit the animals as often as she wished, knowing her to be quite talented at the subject. It was rare to be so compatible with the beasts, but she’d done it.

He wasn’t the biggest fan of the class, and had not taken it for a couple years. Still, he was willing to do just about anything for her. “Let’s go then.” He nodded, gathering up his belongings and tucking them down into his bag. She did the same with her textbook which she never actually opened anyway.

He took her bag from her without her asking. He always carried her books if they were walking somewhere together. She figured it was just him being polite. James would do the same, bragging about his impressive strength. She was grateful though, and walked beside him with her hands in her cardigan pockets.

As they turned the corner, entering the main corridor, she caught the eye of a familiar face, one that Remus thought was busy with Quidditch practice for the time being. “Sirius!” she called, waving over at him with a newfound grin on her face, teeth showing and eyes bright. He looked up from Mary and Alice, who also waved in the pair’s direction.

“Fancy seeing you here, Angel,” he hummed, but opened his arms as he usually did for a hug. She threw herself into his arms and he squeezed her tight, maybe even too tight in Remus’ opinion. She pulled back, peering up at him before nodding to the other two Gryffindor girls.

“Hi, Mary, Alice,” she hummed sweetly. They happily greeted their friend with warm smiles.

Remus almost felt himself move past his surge of jealousy, if he hadn’t seen Sirius rest the palm of his hand on her lower back when he stepped to the side to face the rest of the group. He never understood why the two of them were so close, and why Sirius practically hung off her shoulder when the two were together. The two were just best friends, from all he could tell, but it sure felt like more. Sirius wasn’t known for settling for one girl, he preferred to leave his options open. Surely, he didn’t have a crush on her.

Remus could only hope.

“Moony, where are you two off to?” Mary asked. While Remus looked at the brunette, answering her question, he missed the look that Alice sent Y/N. She raised her brows, her eyes flicking between the pair. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up at the notion that her and Remus were hanging out as anything other than friends. The girls loved to taunt her, probably because they consistently got a rise out of her.

“The creature pens outside,” he replied, gloomier than he wanted to sound. “I thought you guys had practice today?”

Sirius shrugged, “It was postponed for an hour. Something about the weather. I thought you two normally studied on Thursday afternoons.”

“I’ve been doing well enough in my classes that I figured I deserved a well earned break,” she told the three of her quidditch-playing friends.

“Well, I guess we should leave you to it, right, ladies?” the raven-haired boy asked. Bidding the two study partners a goodbye before trailing off with Alice and Mary in tow. Y/N waved while Remus just watched with a defeated look on his face. He always felt defeated when seeing Sirius and Y/N together.

For the rest of the trek out to the animal pens, they walked beside each other silently, just navigating the halls in thought. She could only think about how close he stood beside her, and how attractive it was that he carried her bag for her. A dazed smile was left on her lips and she stared at her feet to avoid him seeing how happy he made her. She was such a lovestruck fool. It was obvious.

It was cold outside but not quite snowy yet. She cuddled into her thick cardigan, wondering if he was cold in just his sweater and uniform shirt. The leaves had fallen from all the trees, crinkling under their footsteps. The sky was white, indicating a storm was brewing, potentially snow considering it was December. A few other students hung out in the courtyard, playing games with each other or sitting by the gardens talking. Not a single person was hanging around the animal pens.

She stopped when they neared the small building beside the care for magical creatures classroom. The diricawls and nifflers were inside this time of year so she pushed open the door to the shelter. Inside, they were met with a dozen or so diricawls walking around on some freshly laid hay.

She turned to Remus and grinned, pointing to a diricawl with three black spots on its head. “This one is my favorite. His name is Cookie. Isn’t he just the cutest?” She asked.

He shut the door behind them so none of the creatures escaped. “You named him Cookie?”

“Yeah, because he’s so sweet.”

She walked over to the food barrel and scooped out two handfuls of food. She tossed onto the ground beside the animals, but kept a few pieces in her hand. With her free hand she urged Remus to come closer.

He did as she asked. “Here, you can feed Cookie this time,” she told him, handing him the pieces of kibble. It was exciting to share her passions with him. He was happy she just included him in the first place. He wanted her to invite him into all aspects of her life. What classes she liked, her favorite books, favorite songs, her favorite holiday, and favorite food. It was like a collection he wanted so badly to complete. To complete her and all her quirks.

He took the kibble from her hand. “How do I feed him?” He asked.

“Didn’t you pay any attention in class?” She joked, but patted his shoulder nonetheless. “By hand, if you want. He doesn’t bite,” she laughed. He knelt down closer to the creature and extended his hand, looking to her for guidance. She gave him a very enthusiastic thumbs up. Soon enough, the little bird was taking food from his palm and munching on his snack.

When he was finished and stood back up, she couldn’t help herself but hug him from the side, pressing her face to his arm. “Y/N?” His heart was skipping a beat. He patted her on the head gently, feeling a bit too awkward to hug her back. Even if he loved her being pressed so close to him, he couldn’t function when the real thing happened.

She answered with so much glee in her voice, “I’m just so happy you came with me. No one ever comes with me to feed these little guys. Always too busy with quidditch or hanging out in the common rooms.”

“It’s no big deal. If it makes you happy, it makes me happy too.”

Her stomach was doing somersaults and her heart raced at his kind words. She took a step back and straightened herself out again. “Thanks, Rem. You’re such a sweetheart.”

If his face wasn’t red already, it certainly was now. She looked like an angel standing there, the diricawls gathered at her legs like her own little army of birds. He loved the way her Gryffindor cardigan swallowed her up. He loved the way some stray hairs fell into her face as she glanced down at the ground. He thought it was adorable how she fiddled with her fingers when she was nervous.

It was admirable how she treated the animals, the things she loved. Even if she wasn’t the smartest book-wise, she was friendly and kind, to animals and humans alike.

Most importantly, there wasn’t any judgment from her when she found he was a werewolf. She caught the boys carrying him up the common room stairs one day in the early hours of the morning, and from then on she doted on him. She gathered ingredients from her furry or scaly companions, persistent in making healing potions for him, different creams and salves for his wounds. She worked long hours in the Potions room with Slughorn’s permission, desperate to make something that would ease his suffering.

She’d come up to their dorm after the full moon and take care of him each time, cleaning his wounds and doing the best she could with her limited knowledge of healing spells. Over time, she got better, nearly perfecting her spell casting, all for him.

That was when he started to fall for her. No one had ever cared for him like she did. As Sirius liked to call her, Y/N truly was an angel, he was sure of it. Sirius might have meant it as a joke, but Remus came to find the nickname truer than any other. True like he was Moony and their friend was Padfoot.

She pointed over to a few cages to their right, where the nifflers lived. The cage was decorated with shiny things, silver necklaces and some gold coins, probably the result of a thieving niffler.

“Do you want to feed the nifflers now?”

“Anything you want, love.”

———

While James was chasing after Lily Evans, and Sirius was busy romancing Marlene McKinnon, Y/N sat back on the couch beside Remus Lupin. Peter sat on the floor by her feet, resting his head against the sofa cushions. She’d grabbed three cups and a pot of hot tea for her and her couple of friends as they watched the flickering of the fire before them.

While the more outgoing of the friend group were always off doing something, this left just the quieter three hanging around amongst themselves. It was peaceful. Remus read his book silently while Y/N and Peter talked about the newest gossip from that day. Peter was great to talk to. He always listened intently, and could discuss basically anything she could think of. She supposed he was just happy that the cooler marauders let him hang around.

She took a sip of her drink and sighed, the warmth of a nice cup of tea soothing her otherwise freezing cold frame. She grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped herself up. It was nearing Christmas, which meant many things.

It meant that she would have to sit outside in the freezing cold during every quidditch match. It meant going to Hogsmeade every weekend and filling up on butterbeer and goodies from Honeydukes. It meant spending more time huddled up on the couch with her friends sitting around the fire, laughing all night long.

She drifted off into her own thoughts for a moment, completely missing the question that Peter had just asked. She felt a tap on her knee and blinked away that dazed look in her eye.

“What was that, Peter?”

“I asked, do you have any plans for Hogsmeade this weekend?” he said once again. She tapped the side of her teacup in thought. She originally planned on staying inside over the weekend to finish up some homework due the next week, but she couldn’t resist the urge to go out and visit the little town, get some candy, and drink in the Three Broomsticks. She couldn’t miss out on a fun outing with friends.

Y/N shook her head ‘no’.

“Wanna come with?”

“Of course.”

She stirred her cup of tea, her eyes scanning the room. “Any specific plans you all have this weekend? Zonko’s, Honeydukes, Spintwich’s?” she asked. Usually they followed some sort of routine. Visit the Three Broomsticks for drinks, head to Honeydukes to stock up on sweets for the rest of the week, and either stop at Zonko’s for the newest gadget or Spintwich’s so James could see if there were any upgrades for his broom.

Her personal favorite was Brood and Peck. Sometimes they had special creatures that you could only find in the forbidden forest. She was still waiting for a unicorn, but in the meantime there were always mooncalves, nifflers, and diricawls to play with. She also liked spending her time in the bookstore too.

Not that she wanted books, she just liked going there with Remus so she could watch him out of the corner of her eye. He furrowed his brows as he scanned the books for one that he was interested in. She would pretend to do the same thing, but really she just went for him. To watch him get excited by a new book that was just released, or half priced older novels he’d been meaning to buy, books they would read together. Seeing him happy made her feel soft inside, and that’s all that mattered to her.

“Well, I heard that Lily and the rest of the girls are going to Honeydukes around noon and I plan to be there,” James said confidently. He was obsessed with that girl, but Y/N couldn’t judge. She was just as obsessed with Remus as James was with Lily. She was infatuated, and had been for years.

“Speaking of which, why aren’t you going with the rest of the girls, Y/N?” Peter asked the girl sitting beside him.

Originally, she declined going to Hogsmeade that weekend altogether. She was far too preoccupied with her schoolwork to even think about taking the day off to fool around, but she couldn’t say no to spending the day with Remus. She had to say yes to the boys, on the off chance she might get some quality time with the boy she fancied.

She shrugged, “They offered, but had to say no. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to finish my potions essay in time. Gladly, I got it done this morning, so I should be fine to go with you guys.” She wasn’t exactly lying, but she certainly wasn’t telling the entire truth. She wasn’t doing well in her Herbology class either…

Remus found himself tense up at the mention of Hogsmeade. He always found himself nervous when she was around, and somehow, they always ended up singled out by the group when they went places. It was always Sirius and James goofing off with Peter following closely after, leaving Remus standing in the dust with Y/N at his side. He was never prepared and felt like he made a fool of himself every time just trying to strike up conversation. He could be so terribly awkward.

He just hoped that on the day of the actual visit to Hogsmeade, he would be normal. That all his friends would stick together instead of separating and leaving him to be his embarrassing self in front of the girl he so desperately fancied.

Part Two out.

[kiwiana-writes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

A big ol' fuck you to @rmd-writes for the tag xoxo

1. How many works do you have an AO3? Lol. Lmao even. 289.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 914,620 on AO3, but that includes co-writes as well as things I've podficced where the fic and pod are in the same work. My actual personally-written wordcount, per my Batshit Spreadsheet, is 771,819.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mostly RWRB these days, though most of my back catalogue is Schitt's Creek. Also The Pairing and various other things scattered about.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kinda think that I might be his type aka Alex and Bea fake date coming in at the top spot, which will never not bewilder me. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely fic!! But I am always surprised that it was a few hundred more kudos than:

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), the Much Ado actors AU. My magnum opus, my beloved.

We were supposed to find this - baby's first soulmate AU and my first RWRB fic. The brainrot really took hold with this one lmao.

All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, in which Henry takes 'open mouth insert foot' to a whole new level.

Warm like the glow that you feel head to toe, the age gap fic with older Senator Alex and younger Prince Henry. This is probably the only one in my top five that really surprises me, considering age gaps are... divisive.

5. Do you respond to comments? Always always always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I mean I did write that one MCD fic in Schitt's Creek, though I maintain the other five parts in that 5+1 are in fact angstier than the MCD ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh, the rest? The Doylist answer is any of my fics where the HEA is literally forever rather than 'till death do us part'; so, the Schitt's Creek afterlife AU and the RWRB zombie!Alex AU. (Is that all? Am I forgetting one?)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah, sometimes. Weirdly, more through tumblr anons than on the fics themselves? A lot of them I just delete, sometimes I'll give them a bit of a public scolding etc. Frankly at this point if you come into my ask box to be a cunt on anon I'm going to assume you have a public humiliation kink and will indulge you accordingly.

9. Do you write smut? Who's to say.

10. Do you write crossovers? I'm more inclined towards a fusion than a crossover (love a good media fusion) but I did write a short RWRB/The Pairing crossover for VoiceTeam.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. Someone did ask recently, so we'll see!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? HEAPS. @ships-to-sail is an ongoing collaborator, but I also did a bunch of "each write a chapter" type collabs in Schitt's Creek. Currently co-writing something truly fucking incredible with @indestructibleheart.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? IDK if it's a WIP by the strictest definition, but every day the likelihood of the SC kink!verse series being completed slips further away lol.

16. What are your writing strengths? Rae, you're the worst.

Smut, I guess? Giving people new kinks, apparently. Character voice. Also a very specific type of world-building where I explain nothing because the characters already live in that world and let y'all infer how it works, which came up a LOT on one of this year's Kinktober fics in particular and led to my spouse saying "okay so you're basically the Brennan Lee Mulligan of tree fucking", which is sure not a sentence I expected to ever be directed towards me, but here we are.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything original, apparently. Good thing I didn't quit my job to be a writer or anything OH WAIT.

(In all seriousness, though, I am genuinely shit at, like, plotting. And action sequences.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it makes sense for the character, sure! I'm enlisting someone who speaks it for anything more complicated than, like, a pet name - I've seen what Google Translate tries to spit out for my second language and therefore don't trust it lmao.

19. First fandom you wrote for? terf queen mcgee's property.

20. Favourite fics you've written? The RWRB fic specifically based on the episode The Husbands of River Song from Doctor Who. Hands down the best thing I've ever written.

I also fucking LOVED the Much Ado actor AU. My love letter to Shakespeare and theatre and queer joy.

-

Tagging @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @notspecialbabe @orchidscript

@piratefalls @sherryvalli @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! 

[writingjourney]

“always alert guard dog secondo vs his avoidant black cat lover”

Please tell us more! I love scary guard dog privilege bf Secondo sm 🫶🏽💕

oh absolutely!! please prepare for an OC rant but i had a flash of a scene in my brain today about Secondo and my OC Manon. the original scene is caused by someone calling Secondo her guard dog (in a negative way, the guy doesn't respect her), so a conversation ensues about that in which Secondo (observant as he is) refers to her as being more cat like – independent, struggles to trust others, enjoys his sole attention, a good meal and well-aimed affection, needs a lot of sleep and most of all withdrawing when they're in pain. it's a theme for their relationship in the beginning, him finding out about her anxiety which she is very good at hiding.

i am not even sure yet how i am going to write this story, if i will write it a proper OC pairing or not (difficult to make people care tbh), but either way a big part of it is managing said anxiety, specifically managing perfectionism, high expectations/performance anxiety and imposter syndrome, the sort of weird duality of knowing your worth and abilities but struggling to direct pride and kindness at yourself because you think your sole worth is tied to performing well.

Manon is very much the type of person who struggles to let someone in but perhaps not in the same way Secondo struggles with it. and, this is me being in too deep, but she is a little how i see terzo as well and i think that's why Secondo KNOWS how to handle these feelings and it brings out his protective side. he wants to make her see her worth and he definitely honors the fact and values the privilege that come with being the only person she is vulnerable with. but he is not overbearing, which is why i said 'always alert'. he is watching, observing, internally protective (perhaps sometimes a little too externally, he's got that italian temper), and one word is enough to have him jump into action. you can rely on him, he knows how to use his teeth, but he is usually controlled enough to assess a situation and honors her independence.

this is probably not what anyone cares about but i am thinking so much about them and their dynamic and what i want it to be like :')

[ryuichirou]

Which twst characters do you and katsu relate to the most or which match your personalities the most?

Oh Anon, you have no idea how excited I am about your ask… Because I already had the pleasure of agonising over this question a year ago, but Katsu didn’t! Now it’s Katsu’s turn to be uncomfortable and vulnerable! So I am as pumped to read this post as you are to be honest lol

I’ll still give you a TL;DR about my situation first though, in case you don’t want to read my old post: I relate to a lot of characters in for a lot of reasons (I think all of us do), and I definitely named a lot of boys lol But those who I have the most kinship with are probably Kalim, Rook, Ortho, Sebek, Azul, Lilia. I mentioned a couple of other guys in my old post, but they either have one specific trait that I find very relatable, or wishful thinking lol

If I had to pick three that I feel second-hand embarrassment from because of recognising some of my traits in their bullshit, I’d say it’s Kalim, Azul and Sebek. What a combination, I know. But my reasoning from the linked post is still the same….

But also! You know what? There is one addition to the list I’d like to make. I think it’s time to admit that I also want to strangle Trey from time to time because of how similar his attitude feels. I don’t think that I  as much of a people-pleaser as I used to be when I was a teen, but there are still moments when I catch myself thinking “I don’t even want to bother with that, it’s easier to give them a non-answer and keep my actual opinion to myself”. This + a bunch of other corny and stupid shit argGghhhh wait do I hate Trey Clover? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Alright, I’m done lol Thank you for your question! Now for the Katsu’s part:

Katsu:

I’m about to make this post 100 times more awkward with my list lol There’s practically no difference in both of your description, so I’ll treat them interchangeably, Anon, as you probably intended.

I asked for Ryu’s assistance for these explanations because my mind went blank when I sat down to write them.

Also, I’m sorry I wrote so much 😱 I wanted to explain everyone to some extent and it seems I can’t shut up... I’m also very sorry if I sound very entitled. It’s surprisingly hard to write something like this, and I end up sounding like I’m constantly sucking my own dick with “look at how cool I am”. This is very embarrassing, please don’t read this post.

I’m a very generic bitch, so my most relatable/similar character is Idia, like he is for a lot of other people. He has it all: our takes on a lot of things is similar, including the nasty ones; apparently, we’re both good at reading other people’s character; he’s very cynical and has a negative outlook on life; the way we view certain things; our priority for quality time and spending it with those we care about; all the teasing and rude things that he does I actually do as well; our... ehh independence of our views?? idk how to say this better, just coming to conclusions on our own instead of taking the most popular option; Ryu thinks I’m smart (I’m not, and I’m especially not a tech genius and I’m actually bad at playing videogames), but I’d rather name it swings between “I’m a genius” and “I’m shit”, this constant desire to be as objective as possible even when referring to yourself while acknowledging subjective opinions when they’re unavoidable; our relationship with people is terrible in a similar way; the way he puts others down and then himself as well is sometimes word for word what I’ve said to Ryu for all those years we’ve known each other, so self-criticism; our love for art and anime in particular, though I don’t watch or read much anymore; his social... everything, his fear of interactions, his confidence in other people judging him all the time and thinking he’s cringe; his attempts to disappear and go unnoticed; the fact he gives up before even trying a lot of times. I can go on and on... It’s easier to tell where we’re different – I’m not that bold online, I just silently lurk; my internet slang is lackluster at best; I don’t play games that much and I’m not a huge fan of multiplayer games... which might seem nitpicky, but I consider it to be an important part of his personality. I feel like I’ve just tried to describe Idia instead of explaining anything lol Sorry

Jamil is also very relatable, he’s pretty similar to Idia personality wise (at least some of the qualities I mentioned), so I won’t repeat myself in terms of his personality. He’s also tired from everyone’s bullshit. Jamil’s desire for travelling and his love for calm times where everything around is quiet should be mentioned. He has to babysit Kalim, and sometimes I have to do something similar – nobody asks me to, but all this micromanagement that he does for Kalim like organising perfect conditions for him, making sure that everything’s right and being prepared to unpredictable events, although I’m not as consistent as Jamil in this regard. I’m the one to buy tickets, book places, come up with routes, make sure nothing’s forgotten, figure out at what time happens what, where to buy this and that thing, how to get to some place, and other things like that. It’s not like Ryu can’t do this stuff (except for getting somewhere, this bitch has no sense for directions), I just don’t allow it a lot of times lol We don’t want accidents. Ryu also sometimes gets praised for things that I do, that can be super annoying, that’s why I hate it when Ryu tries to brag about me.

Vil... gets a similar reaction from me as he does from Epel. I’d hate to know him irl, although a lot of points he makes are actually very true. He holds himself and others to a very high standard which is what I also do, but we do it in different areas. We both workout, although I’m nowhere near his routine or his diet, of course, but the discipline aspect of it is important. The most similar thing is our passion for True Art, the way we view it, the way we approach it, and the way we understand how audience works. Our love for cinema, I watch a lot of movies, but I’m not a nerd when it comes to them. I’m not a film bro- oh wait I actually am. The more you know. Also, all the movies Ryu watches usually come from me.

Ace – the entire first book, from the moment he got a cauldron dropped on him (before that I wanted to punch him). He’s somewhat chill, he doesn’t like anyone’s bs and he hates rules that don’t make sense. He’s relaxed to a certain degree (sometimes too much lol), and the things he appreciate in relationships (both friendly and romantic) are the same for me. Our love for fun stuff, to a certain degree for me though, but not the same level of irresponsibility, as I’m usually the one to chicken out and bail. Not always, though! Ace also gets a grasp of things quickly, but forgets them just as fast.

Floyd – the desire to tease/bully serious people is too strong 😔 Plus, extreme mood swings with losing interest, but these are not nearly as common as his. Sometimes you have tons of fun, and then a second later, in an instant, you lose the spark.

Malleus – we just like to wander somewhere... his love for ruins, but I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t like them or their aesthetics lol His isolation, and Ryu says the way we say/ask/do things sometimes is similar. Also most based overblot reason ever (same for Idia and Vil though). I’d probably be able to point out his character traits better if we saw book 7, but that’s it for now.

Epel – he hates girly stuff lmao His toxic masculinity is relatable for my teen years, and the way his speech is impolite (in my case, I just swear a lot though). He’s somewhat of a slow learner and he cringes from doing cute and girly stuff.

Deuce – he is so adorable... ahem. The way he struggles with learning is relatable, and the feeling when you put yourself fully into something and still fail. I managed to get great/normal marks, but the amount of knowledge I actually have is laughable. Deuce is very earnest, me too, in some ways, but I’m not nearly as proactive as he is. I wouldn’t bother.

Leona – sometimes I get bored in the middle of the day and go to sleep lol Usually it happens when Ryu’s around and draws something, and we have only one desk, so there’s nothing for me to do. Leona’s also lazy. That’s the entire reason Leona is on this list.

[quillofspirit]

2023 fic recs

If there's one thing to know about me, is that I love to read! and I love to share the good fics, so I figured I would put them all on one list💚

pssst! it's my first time doing anything like this, so if you have recommendations for the format, please do leave them in the comments or drop me a message! thanks xx

Key 🍬 fluff 🧯 spicy 🌡️ smut ⛈️ angst 🌪️ all

For people I have tagged, please let me know if there is anything you’d like me to add or remove — like a link to another account. It’ll be my pleasure☺️

Lord of the Rings (and related)

⛈️🧯Fuck the Forbidden pt. 1 by @entishramblings

Boromir x mermaidfem!oc Teens and Up but read the warnings carefully 9,500 words

Now I want mermaids in everything. why aren’t there mermaids in everything? The descriptions are so well done, everything is so vividly easy to visualize, oh I just loved it.

I am so hyped for pt 2!!

🍬⛈️ Healing Touch by @ass-deep-in-demons

Boromir x fem!oc Teens and Up 4,350 words

My film studies degree was very happy about the descriptions of movement in this one - it’s a little specific but hear me out. It’s much easier to see the actors playing the scene when it’s described this well! THAT ENDING, I have to say I joined Legolas, and I don’t have excuses.

I cannot wait to read the rest of the adventures of Joanna!

🍬 I Might Need to Kiss You by @fizzyxcustard

Thorin Oakenshield x fem!reader 400 words

I was squealing, this is so sweet. like the perfect little pick me up when you need a reminder, and Thorin is nothing if not a good king to his subjects 😇

🍬 Sweet Conversations by @glassgulls

Haldir x fem!reader Teens and Up 5,360 words

did I almost break my mouse when I clicked on this? noooo

Would I do it again? approximately 5 times since ☺️

Who doesn’t love sneaking around and kissing pretty elves, especially when they propose the idea so nicely… Just read it, you’re welcome

⛈️🧯Transformed by @sotwk

Thranduil’s son OC x fem!reader Teens and Up 2,400 words

There are at least two werewolves! When I tell you I read it three nights in a row, just to truly catch all the little things that made me go absolutely feral this so lovely to read. Yes, there’s gore (only a little bit) and there’s angst, but there’s also dialogue that would be made into gifs were it a movie.

Pirates of the Caribbeans

🌪️Catch the Wind by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

James Norrington x fem!oc Explicit 418,000 words

101 chapters of epic, pirates, and sweetness. The definition of you will suffer and you will like it. I finished this in like two days, because I couldn’t put it down, like a child on Halloween night going through their whole bag of candy.

⛈️🍬 Fallen Through Time by eriathiel (@esta-elavaris)

Catch the Wind AU Mature Ongoing; 34,000 words

12 Chapters so far, but it’s probably going to make me want to read everything about Theodora again. I am very normal about this character. 😌

Other fandoms

🌡️One of Those days by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x fem!reader Explicit 750 words

Sometimes you need to be taken care of, and sometimes its easier to take care of others.

🍬Patience by @velvetcloxds

Charlie Swan x fem!reader Just straight cuteness 600 words

A cute yet serious conversation with Charlie

🌡️That Takes Trust Darlin by @capricornafterdark

Jason Todd x transmasc!reader Explicit 1,950 words

It takes a lot of trust to tell a person about your desires, and even more when you spend your time catching villains.

🌪️ What Happens After You? by StrengthBeforeWeakness

Ominis Gaunt x fem!oc Mature 219,000 words

A badass Ravenclaw, sweet sweet Garreth, and dark!Sebastian. I am tempted to say it’s almost a Hogwarts Legacy AU because the lore in this fic is so incredible, it feels new again.

These are my headers and dividers, please do not use them.

[belltrigger]

Submastober Day 25!

Inspiration: There's an older OC-tober prompt-list here that I am using.

Title: A Rival's Weakness Prompt: Weakness Word count: 788 Synopsis: ingo ponders on Emmet's weaknesses.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

If there was one thing that the general public knew about Emmet, it was that he was an incredibly strong pokémon trainer. Of course, he was highly respected as a Subway Master, and although it was akin to bragging, Ingo firmly believed that Emmet was one of the strongest trainers in the entirety of the region. No disrespect to the various Gym Leaders, some of whom were friends and family, but Ingo would definitely put Emmet's skills above all of them. When Emmet lost, he loved to deeply discuss what had happened in the battle and why it lead to a loss. He was never discouraged, though he played up frustration for the challengers, and became that much more determined to win 'next time.'

Of course, that wasn't to say Emmet was unbeatable. Visiting the Battle Subway would be no fun if there was no chance of winning. Many a challenger caught Emmet by surprise and while he would never stop the battle in the middle, he would often talk with promising challengers afterwards. There were even a few times that Ingo had to interrupt Emmet, who was so caught up in a thrilling conversation, to remind him it was time to meet another challenger.

Ingo also knew for a fact that there were discussion boards where people gathered to strategize on how to defeat Emmet and himself. Ingo never visited these boards, as he didn't want to gain an unfair advantage against people coming for fun and challenge, but he had it on good authority that the comments were always very spirited. He was curious, sometimes, to see if they had any insight on Emmet's battle techniques and methods, but that too would be unfair.

Emmet was his rival, after all, and reading up on peoples' thoughts about his weaknesses would alter how he himself thought about their battles. Besides, even if people had little glimpses into Emmet's prowess, none of them knew his brother as he did. Naturally, they spent their entire lives together, barely separating as children, and being each other's constant companion now in adulthood. Emmet had a lot of tells if you knew when and where to look, but his younger brother said the same of him all the time. He also had a lot of preferences in how he battled (and how much he hated certain, specific moves that Ingo loved to use. It wasn't his fault that earthquake was so efficient.)

As far as Ingo was concerned, people could ponder and consider and discuss Emmet's battle weaknesses all they liked. Battling was also incredibly important to him and Emmet, and if others took such a fascination in discussing it, that just made for more hearty challenges. But, there were weaknesses Emmet had outside of battle as well, and as far as Ingo was concerned, he would be perfectly happy if no one else ever realized what they were.

For example, it was possible that people who were friendly with Emmet knew he had a sweet tooth. But, few probably realized the level that Emmet could be coerced with sweets. Although they got along well, there were still disagreements from time to time. Even when Emmet wouldn't speak to Ingo, an apology and a sweet treat could open the tracks to reconciliation. When Emmet had a rough day or was discouraged, taking him to his favorite bakery would light up his eyes so brightly that Ingo fell in love again every time.

Emmet also loved bug pokémon and was easily distracted on their travels when they found large groupings near the roads and trails they traversed. Luckily, luckily, he didn't catch all the pokémon he saw, but they definitely spent time watching and discussing how to use those pokémon in battles if they were to catch them. Joltik were an obvious favorite, and Emmet loved to get knick-knacks and objects of clothing related to them. Although Emmet focused on breeding the perfect joltik, he personally took care of adopting out the joltik that he didn't keep. Little did people know that Emmet was always on the prowl for cute pictures of joltik and likely contributed to the vastness of their images online.

There were many more things that others didn't know about Emmet, and each one made his brother impossibly cute. It pained him to admit that he felt twinges of jealousy at the mere idea that anyone else could know Emmet well enough to learn about these weaknesses to the same degree that he knew them. For Ingo, they were to be safeguarded with the same fervor that they would protect their special battle techniques.

On the subject of weaknesses, though, Ingo hoped that no one realized that Emmet was his.

[ropebuny]

Oof. I'm pretty sure I'm the guy you were referring to about being disappointed in my girl obeying "too well." I'd like to clarify, probably more selfishly than anything else.

A) I appreciate you not actually tagging me because oh buddy that was a ride of comments and reblogs.

B) I absolutely love and married this girl. She is absolutely not boring nor am I disappointed with anything about her. She's amazing.

That was really a tongue in cheek snap shot of something that happened, more of a joke than anything else. Albeit maybe not the most well delivered or received.

C) We communicate literally every time we have sex. To make sure she's ok, satisfied, something that was too much or not enough. We talked about her being "too good" right afterwards and we both laughed about it. In the fake disappointment that she doesn't give me a reason to punish her more.

D) I do appreciate the advice and input and criticism. I am absolutely not perfect and have never claimed to be. I started this blog originally to learn more about kink and how to do things better/safer, find new ideas, explore things, yada yada yada. Not like there was a course in college I could take. But now I'll add some of those comments to new things to try and ways to spice things up.

In the way of kink, I very well might be boring compared to some. But I'm doing my best to be better for her. So honestly, thanks for the criticism.

-K

thank you for taking the time to reach out and write out your thoughts and further explain everything. I definitely see where you’re coming from now. sometimes it’s a caught in the moment thing, where you wanted to perhaps feel ‘justified’ for punishing her but then couldn’t do so since she was being so good that it felt kind of frustrating not being able to have a ‘reason’ to punish her, but not frustrated in a ‘genuinely mad’ type of way. and it’s cute how the two of you can joke about her being ‘too good’ afterwards too. that is always important in a dynamic, to be able to express yourself and make silly jokes with each other

I just personally would have taken it very to heart if my dom expressed their dissatisfaction and used words such as ‘disappointing’ and ‘not of any fun’ and I know that many other subs would agree. how your sub takes it and whether or not she is offended or hurt by your statements, is entirely your own personal experience and business between the two of you to work out. to a lot of people though it seemed like you were lacking in being able to communicate this dissatisfaction with her obedience, as it came across as being, so they put in their two cents. I didn’t want my criticism to come across as me attacking you or being hateful, that is also why I never tagged you. that is never my intention. your post got me thinking about how insecure I personally would feel if my dom shared those feelings and expressed them openly for others to see on tumblr, so I wanted to perhaps start a small discussion between my mutuals. it felt disrespectful in my eyes, because many doms unfortunately do not value their subs as much as they should, or some even at all. and it’s saddening to see as a sub

the post eventually, to my surprise, gained traction and lots of people weighed in their opinions and experiences which I think is lovely in this community, how we can dissect these things and try our best to help one another. what matters is that you and your sub have a respectful and healthy dynamic, my issues were personally in the specific adjectives you chose to use to describe her obedience which felt disrespectful to me, and it got me thinking how I would feel if my dom shared these thoughts. and it got me thinking and ranting. I apologise if any of this hurt you, since I and my post are the reason this specific situation is even being talked about in the first place.

it’s an important quality to be able to take criticism, so I admire your ability to do so. it’s especially important to be able to take criticism and assess it, especially in an environment such as the kink community where people can so easily get hurt or scarred/traumatised. and I myself have received criticism and have seen people’s disdain towards my words, so it’s important for us to always realise that we can always better ourselves and better how we communicate with each other and to be aware or how certain actions/words of ours can hurt others. good on you for taking accountability and thank you for taking the time to reach out to me and explain yourself, and most importantly defend your sub and openly express your love and respect for her. and I again apologise for any discomfort this has brought onto you, because it was truly never my intention for you to see that post and have others bashing you. I never expected that post to blow up nearly as much as it did

[uroboros-if]

So I was playing through the update (very very fun!!) and I got to the part where Rafaele asks the MC how he looks. I accidentally selected a choice without "looking" at Rafaele, then went back to look first and then select a choice. I found the contrast between the two outcomes very funny — I just had to pause and write this ask because man this got a lot of giggles out of me 👻👻

Without Looking:

With Looking:

It was definitely a very nice semi-hidden little treasure to stumble upon! I probably wouldn't have found this if it weren't for accidentally clicking a choice without doing the looking first; I know that "not looking" is reflected in the wording of the choices in that certain scenario, but for some reason my brain didn't register it at all until I consciously looked closer 😭

Also, I really really like the "not looking" scenario for some reason?? It feels so familial and intimate, an exasperated father mock-sighing at his unabashedly confident child. It kind of feels like a peek into how MC interacted with their parents during their younger, more childish days 😌 It certainly gave me quite a few drabble/headcanon ideas regarding my MC and his parents, at least. I liked it so much that I decided to keep it (sorry, Rafaele)!! 😝✨

Anyways, I'm very much enjoying the new update!! Thank you for all the work you've done, and good luck with writing chapter 2! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ I'm really excited for it, but please do take your time! You've already given us so much content (including your blog posts, which I very much enjoy reading) :] That was all, and have a very nice day!💙✨

P.S. The relationship between MC and Nero and Rafaele is very near and dear to my heart 🥰 I'm very fond of the ROs, and am looking forward to getting to know more about them ingame — but the dads are special. I've spent waaay more time than I'd like to admit making personal headcanons and anecdotes about that little family 🥹

Ahh, I'm so glad you played through the update! And I'm even more ecstatic that you caught the changes with the looking vs not looking (The choices and comments are different for each option depending on if you looked or not!!)! 💕 I wasn't sure if anyone would be able to see and appreciate the differences!

You're right, though -- it seems so familiar and easy in a way that's intimate to anyone you've been with for a very long time. So even if it may seem like the more "disrespectful" option, it really is just everyday interaction with your family. A little taken for granted, but loving all the same.

I'm super glad you like the dads, and I know many people do as well ❤️ I find it fascinating that we especially value and devalue ROs at the same time (no /neg or criticism). A lot of people look to IFs just for the romance, that sometimes we reduce characters we can romance to being there just for that. Thus, finding characters we can get attached to, without any prior expectation to romance them, feels more special.

Again, not necessarily a bad mindset, or directed towards you, specifically--it's just been on my mind for a long time! It makes me so happy that you can find a character like that in my IF, because I definitely do not want to make important side characters less loveable or interesting than the ROs. So your fondness for the parents is really special as well, and shows that that isn't the case!

That was a lot of musing and rambling -- thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts about the update 🥺 I'll be answering an ask about flower crowns very soon for you 💕🌿

[bluespring864]

tag game

Thanks @rafole and @fortyfive-forty for the tag <3

1. Do you make your bed? Rarely, and if I do it's pretty half-arsed.

2. Favourite number? It's always been 8, for no particular reason.

3. What's your job? Probably one of the most high octane and interesting but also definitely one of the most frustrating jobs you can have when working with languages (can you tell I've not had a good week :-P)

4. If you could go back to school, would you? School? Don't think so. I would have been happy to stay at uni pretty much indefinitely though but I needed to earn some money. I am still sometimes - not very seriously - toying with the idea of going back and trying to do a PhD.

5. Can you parallel park? I've always hated it and haven't done it in years because I rarely drive.

6. Do you think aliens are real? Very likely. Probably don't look anything like they do on TV though.

7. Can you drive a manual car? Yes and I actually prefer it. I feel like in Europe the question should be more: have you ever driven an automatic car?

8. Guilty pleasure? I don't know... buying too many tennis tickets?

9. Tattoos? No. Not currently interested in getting one either.

10. Favourite colour? Blue, especially dark shades of blue. Turquoise and burgundy come a close second.

11. Favourite type of music? I listen to a lot of stuff. But mostly Chanson and Singer/Songwriter, classic Rock.

12. Do you like puzzles? We often used to do puzzles as a family around Christmas time, I liked them then. Alone, not so much.

13. Any phobias? I don't know if that qualifies as a phobia but seeing discarded chewing gum somewhere can make me retch.

14. Favourite childhood sport? To watch? Figure skating (which I couldn't do then because there was no rink that would have been close enough). To do? Equitation, but mostly recreationally. There is no history of it at all in the family and it was a bit too expensive for us really but I somehow wore my parents down so they paid for lessons.

15. Do you talk to yourself? Often and in various languages.

16. Tea or coffee? Tea. I do like the smell of coffee though.

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up? I really can't remember and I think I rarely was sure about it. Writer was definitely in there though, but I never really believed that would be possible.

18. What movies do you adore? Hm, adore is a very specific word to use. I watched Little Women in the cinema during the pandemic, knowing nothing about the book. That one might qualify. Also, Tick Tick... Boom! because of the way it manages to describe how it feels to be an artist.

Tagging, if you feel like chatting and haven't done it yet: @ellsieee, @purblind-dragon, @kingfisherprince, @the7endless, @chrisoels, @cricrithings, @weidenwinde, @all-my-worlds-a-stage, @alwayshappyhoursomewhere

[strandnreyes]

hey jen! you've gifted us so many stories, but i wanted to know, what it's like being a reader? are you a big commenter, do you break the kudos, or are you more of a someone who just soaks up the page?

just going to lump these two together!

I’ll be honest, I’m not exactly sure what breaking the kudos means? 😅 I leave kudos on the fics I make it to the end of, though I’m sure there are some that I’ve accidentally missed. before I started writing, I didn’t have an ao3 account so a lot of the early works in the fandom I didn’t do as much kudos-ing and commenting on (pro—or maybe con—of being in a fandom from the very start, there’s not a backlog of fic to get to)

I could and should be a better commenter than I am. I applaud anyone who leaves those super long comments picking out specifics lines because mine are usually more general. I read on my phone 99.9% of the time and usually before bed, so it’s not the greatest set up for leaving lengthy comments

also, I think reading fic is a very introverted activity and commenting on fics is a very extroverted activity. sometimes, after a bad day or when I need comfort, reading fic is great because I can escape from my own life and thoughts. but on those days, I might not have the spoons to comment because that’s forcing me to mentally switch from a solo activity to a social one. I try to leave those fics in an open tab to get back to but as things do in life, they can pile up

I reply to all the comments I get on my fics. I just try to stay on top of it so it doesn’t get too overwhelming

I’m also naturally a fast reader. back in the dystopian ya craze of the early 2010s I remember reading the entire divergent series in the week before I saw the first movie awidjjssj that probably translates to writing as well. I’ve always been efficient/good at school/productive so I’m sure that transfers over to being able to write fics fast

caveat that my life is about to change drastically and I can’t say for certain but I’ll probably be writing way less (i thought this before starting grad school too though and I still had a decent amount of time to write so idk!!) either way, I will have significantly less free time so probably less words coming out and definitely less fandom time and I’m already in mourning 😔

anyway! off topic! not sure if that answered your questions but here’s my rambling

[zuzsenpai]

Deep dive into my personal thoughts on determining if I am autistic. Feel free to read or not read, but please refrain from dismissive language. I'm just trying to get this stuff written down and posted, because often that's cathartic for me. TW for negativity, mentions of mental illness, and verbal/emotional abuse.

I’ve been seriously considering the idea that I’m autistic for a little over a year now (probably longer if I’m being honest), though a conversation with a good friend yesterday sparked an interest in putting everything into writing. This past year was exceptionally bad as far as mental health is concerned, and I generally assumed depression and anxiety were responsible for a lot of my issues getting worse. And that’s definitely true. But as I thought about myself and became more aware of certain traits I have and things I do and say and think outside of just a depression standpoint, I kept wondering if I’ve been framing some things wrong for years. I had always assumed that certain things I do are “wrong” and “bad” because they’re caused by depression. When in fact they might be features of myself that can be reframed and understood better and I can learn to accept them. I’ve been wondering if getting screened for autism might be useful for me. I still don’t know. A lot of the things I’m about to list sound really negative. But I want to learn how to love myself and take care of myself so that positivity can come out of this.

So anyway, here are some things I do or think that, if I get screened for autism or at least dip my toes into the community, I might be able to understand more clearly. Not all of these are signs of autism, and some can absolutely be attributed to depression or self esteem issues, which I do have. But I want to get all of this down anyway.

Social anxiety. I have a lot of it. Always have, though I tended to mask it better in school. In my 30s, I’m not forced to interact with people outside of work, so my social anxiety has only gotten worse. I’m god awful at social interactions with almost everyone. Especially in-person social interactions (online is easier, though I tend to not have much to say in online conversations). Very close friends and immediate family are the only people I feel I can speak to properly, but even then I get nervous and have to really think before I say something. I think very carefully before every social interaction, and ponder them constantly afterwards. I tend to cancel plans VERY frequently if I feel like I can’t handle being around more people than just my close friends or immediate family. And when I am with new people, I fret constantly about being perceived as awkward. Which brings me to…

I have a deep fear of being perceived as awkward or weird. Of being recognized as someone who can’t communicate normally. I feel like an alien wandering around at all times. Everything I say sounds awkward coming from my mouth. Speaking leads to embarrassment. I sit in a room filled with extended family and all I can think of is how I can seem “normal” without having to talk to them. Because of this, I have become hyperaware of visual cues/facial cues/reactions of other people around me when I’m near them or speaking to them. I always thought that “recognizing social cues” meant that I couldn’t have autism. But I think in this case, I may have just worked extra hard to notice people’s reactions because of the fear of being perceived as different. I trained myself, if that makes sense. Though sometimes I realize too late that I actually said something weird, and I stress about it for weeks. Which brings me to…

I vocal stim. Because of my horrible fear of being perceived as awkward, I tend to replay social interactions in my head over and over for days and weeks after they happen. My brain does this thing where the moment I start to think about an awkward interaction, I immediately and involuntarily say a specific word out loud. It doesn’t happen in public while I’m in the situations, but it does happen every time I think about them afterwards, usually when I’m alone. This is a frequent, daily occurrence. I think of the vocal stim as trying to help me stop thinking about the thing, or reminding me that I’m thinking about it in the first place. When I hear myself say the word, I inwardly cringe for a moment, then try to refocus on something else. The word has changed a couple times over the years, but it’s usually the name of a fictional character I really like at the time.

I know this one will sound more like severe depression, but… My executive dysfunction is bad. REAL BAD. I have entire rooms of my house filled with garbage and junk because I can’t take a single step to clean and sort. Even the idea of taking a small step is stressful for me. Organization is a huge challenge. Starting any kind of task that involves cleaning or organizing gets me confused and anxious. And often even fun hobby tasks seem impossible to start or do, because my brain constantly tells me I don’t actually want to do them.

Also I space out and can’t focus when someone, like my mom, is talking to me. She complains that I don’t listen to details when she’s talking and she claims I “do it on purpose to spite her”. When in reality, I do it without thinking. It causes poor memory issues. One specific and horrible example is from last Christmas. My mom said she wanted new pot holders for Christmas— a specific kind that aren’t “mittens” and don’t include silicone grips, but instead are made of really thick fabric. She told me this a couple times, but for some reason I couldn’t process the details, or I immediately forgot them because I didn’t write them down. I eventually told my sibling that she could get the pot holders for my mom and I would get her something else on her list. But I neglected to tell my sibling any of the details of what my mom wanted. So my sibling got her really nice, big silicone grip oven mitts. When my mom opened them, she immediately said: “this isn’t what I wanted. Kristin I told you exactly what I wanted a dozen times. Did you seriously not listen? Why don’t you listen to me?” So in essence, I had completely ruined my sibling’s gift to my mom. I broke down and started sobbing. On Christmas. In front of my family. At age 35. My mom got really angry and told me I was crying on purpose to get sympathy, and that there’s no excuse for not listening to her, and that I’m being spiteful. I tried to explain to my family that lately I’ve been feeling like my brain doesn’t work properly. I don’t know if they really “got it”. It was AWFUL. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. Anyway… on to other things…

When I get a new project at work, I have to ask a lot of questions and talk it out for a while with my manager (who is very patient), pretty much every time. Just takes a while to process things. I spiral a little if I don’t have all the facts of a project right away. And speaking of not processing, please do not ask me to play a card or board game with a zillion rules. My brain shuts down. I get overwhelmed just thinking about it and I get stressed when someone invites me to play a game I’ve never played before.

I often take things people say too seriously, or it takes me a while to process what they are joking about with enough time to respond properly. I work extremely hard to mask this. I do understand sarcasm and jokes, but often I don’t know how to react to them. For instance, I have an uncle (Uncle Mike) who is notorious for saying incomprehensible shit and making inscrutable jokes about people (I’m sure you can guess that he is NOT my favorite relative). I was with him the other day, along with another uncle (Uncle Dave) who I hadn’t seen in years. My dad said something like “oh everybody’s gone through a lot of dog drama this year”. Which is true, though I personally don’t have a dog and did not have “dog drama”. Uncle Mike turned to Uncle Dave and just said offhandedly “Oh don’t bring the dog drama up around Kristin.” The comment made zero sense and I didn’t recognize it as a bizarre joke right away (he didn’t even know my cat was sick). So I felt the need to defend myself to my other uncle. I turned to Uncle Dave and said “well no, I don’t have dog drama but I do have cat drama. My cat was sick and had surgery, but he’s doing a lot better now.” Then I kind of went off on a tangent explaining the cat’s surgery. My Uncle in turn had no idea how to react to this. So I felt extremely awkward afterwards and sat there quietly contemplating how fucking awkward I am and how I can’t take a joke (even when the jokes are inscrutable). Anyway.

I get VERY overstimulated and anxious when my parents force me to come with them to local hockey games (they love going). I despise it. The competitiveness, the angry fans, the tension, the fighting on the ice… it’s awful. It sounds weird and counterintuitive, but I’m able to distract myself with the advertisements on the digital screens and the Jumbotron. But actually watching the game? Can’t do it. Serious overstimulation.

I have physical tics. I’ve cycled through different ones over the years— digging my fingernail into my palm, licking my lips, torso and neck twisting… etc.

I eat the same food every day. Takes A LOT to get me to branch out. I’m really picky. There are foods (like cheese, garlic, and fish) that just the idea of eating them makes me physically ill. I’ve actually puked from smelling mac & cheese and garlic pretzels cooking in the oven. I don’t have food texture issues, but I’m hypersensitive to taste and smell. I gag ALL the time when trying new foods, so I tend to avoid them.

I do hyperfixate on occasion. It’s not particularly extreme, but it does occur. Especially when I am too burnt out to do anything else, I find a single thing I really like doing at the time and become consumed by doing that one thing that makes me happy. Whether it’s writing fanfic for days on end or editing Digimon BGM or identifying bugs, I tend to ignore other tasks in favor of that one thing.

And finally, the suspected autistic burnout, which I am experiencing right now. I went through a VERY stressful August with my cat needing emergency surgery and his anxiety-inducing recovery. During that time and since then, my brain has been completely unable to start or focus on ANY task. I mindlessly scroll tumblr wishing I could do anything other than that, but feeling anxiety when I try. I’m exhausted. Everything makes me exhausted. Existing makes me mentally and physically exhausted. I’ve been really withdrawn.

Anyway, in general, I’ve always felt that I didn’t have traits that would get me diagnosed as autistic. And there’s a good chance I won’t be diagnosed. But I do have some traits. Maybe? My problem is fear of not being accepted and understood, because people in my life will think I’m “too old to be diagnosed” or “exaggerating” or “just have depression”. I have a childhood friend who got diagnosed a few years ago. When she told her mom she had autism, her mom was insulted, angry, and dismissive. Her mom brought out the “is it my fault? Was I a bad mother? There’s no way my child has autism” cards. Knowing my own mother and how she reacts to anything I tell her about myself, she would do the same thing. She would tell me I’m over-exaggerating and making stuff up in my head. And having my mom be insulted by my autism is a deep fear, because when she says dismissive things, they tend to burn into my mind for eternity. Like when I was 21 and she told me “don’t think you’re gay just because your friends are gay.” GOD that was a bad one. That one line held me back from understanding my sexuality for well over a decade, and it still haunts the back of my mind. I can’t imagine what her dismissing me as neurodivergent would do. The fight and guilt tripping and dismissiveness it would cause would be outrageously terrible for my mental health. My mom is staunchly anti-psychiatry, so I guess I will never EVER tell her. Maybe her acceptance wouldn’t make me feel better anyway.

But other people’s acceptances— the people who truly matter— might be what I’m looking for. I don’t know what to make of anything I just wrote down. I said a lot of things about myself… and it would be nice to frame some of them more positively, and to work on certain things with a better knowledge of who I am.

[zeeckz]

OK OK HOW ABOUT....BBKAZEVA

This was really tough (I barely had any thoughts about them when you asked, I've been making most of them up as I wrote)

Somehow I think Kaz & EVA would team up most of the time to "scold" Big Boss for something he did, but the second Kaz does something wrong Big Boss is definitely supporting EVA even if he doesn't actually agree with her complaints (he'll let him know later, scoffing, and kiss him for forgiveness)

Well, I already said kazeva would ride motorbikes, so Big Boss clearly isn't an exception (not to the leather jacket/outfit and the matching helmet either)

He also gives me the impression to enjoy alone time rather than being surrounded by people, despite being in a leading position, so he's also going to isolated places with them

They kinda have to force him to write something worth reading on those postcards they send to David, if it was for him he'd just sign it as "-Boss" (not even "-Dad" smh) and call it a day (since they require his participation, otherwise he wouldn't do anything)

When it comes to the animal shelters, I feel he would pretend not to care as much as he actually does about animals, like just waiting outside while smoking his cigar, but the second he sees a Doberman, a German Shepherd (afaik the only specific breeds mentioned to be used as attack dogs in mgs) or a wolfdog (substituting actual wolves from the games) he's getting closer to pet it (depending on how doable it is, he might as well try to steal it)

He's the one who doesn't care about fashion as much as the other two, so, if anything at all, he'll only match the color palette or maybe wear a small, kinda discreet accessory (like wearing the same watch, buying the same lighter, or having a small sewn figure that matches his partners' clothing pattern, stuff like that), just so they don't bother him

Kaz and EVA are reinforcing each other's horniness just by being together, so I feel it's more likely they'll be questionably touchy in public (and I think they'd both do it to Big Boss, who's trying to keep them under control at least until they have more privacy; he doesn't like bringing any attention towards themselves)

For some reason I just imagined Big Boss buying ice-cream cones to them, so I will now accept this as his go-to way to treat them when going out; he doesn't look like the kind of man who'd buy flowers, chocolate boxes, jewelry, etc etc - ice-cream seems informal enough and a good way to keep them happy quite frequently

He also gets to have both of them licking the ice-cream in a rather indecent manner in front of him, but that's just a side effect and not his goal at all (he just wanted to cool down and eat something sweet)

Someone recently pointed out to me Big Boss seemed to show voyeuristic behaviors in mgs pw, so... These two being hornier than average... Y'know. Sometimes he just sits and watches as he smokes.

Tbh I already thought Kaz is into voyeurism and I'm not having too hard of a time imagining EVA being into that as well (just to a much lesser extent than them), so. Um. They can take turns.

And now that I accidentally ended up in this thread of thoughts - if it's the three of them, Kaz and EVA have to do most things at the same time or take turns, it doesn't work if only one of them does this or that (they'd fight) (they're into it anyway, just brings up a slighty dirtier side of them both and Big Boss is Not complaining)

I feel having EVA by his side would make it more likely for Kaz to work on music - yeah, she's not deaf and probably told him he's not much of a singer, but she'd also encourage him, maybe even sing herself, and Kaz would write little songs about things he likes about their trips and their little adventures as a throuple; I actually am not sure of what Big Boss' impression is regarding his musical skills, but I think he'd encourage him to improve himself (y'know, a very firm pat on the back and a few words while directly looking at him, then hold his jaw and a little kiss to get him going)

Now that I think of it. Big Boss seems more kinky than EVA, but less than Kaz. Do what you wish with that information

Anyway, back to the music - they visit music shops, second-hand shops from time to time and Big Boss is often forced to hold Kaz up so they can leave after several hours of him investigating all of the instruments, musicians and albums he's interested in (EVA finds this cute and enjoys seeing Big Boss holding Kaz like a sack of potatoes on his shoulder). Oh. Happens with fishing stuff too. AND trains. Specially trains.

It's kind of the same thing with EVA when they pass by a motorbike club, an exposition, motorcycle dealerships, and any other ride-related event (likewise, it's now Kaz who finds this cute and Big Boss is just the one who has to drag her out)

Since we're already doing this, they both have to drag Big Boss out when they find a gun shop (this isn't cute to either of them because he's stronger than them, he so badly wants to look at guns and he's not willing to leave). Also happens with any military or hunting related shop.

EVA sleeps between Kaz and Big Boss, who are faced towards each other. EVA just turns to one or the other depending on the day (yes, there's a really neat schedule Kaz did on Excel) (there are times they just wanna cuddle and Kaz will always click his tongue before saying "fine..." despite being more than okay with it, he's just mad the schedule is being ignored)

EVA will sometimes only wear Big Boss' shirt (which means, oversized) at home (wherever that is) - he couldn't care less about it, but Kaz finds it particularly hot and has a bit less of focus when this happens. EVA will also do this with Kaz's clothing, but it just doesn't hit the same, y'know. He likes it regardless, but the feeling is not exactly the same

Kaz is definitely teaching Big Boss how to use chopsticks. I assume EVA already knows, but I don't think she'd have the same amount of patience to teach him - she'd rather poke fun at their efforts and serve them food herself from time to time

Flirting is so ingrained in Kaz's & EVA's personalities that Big Boss sometimes asks them if they're genuinely trying to flirt with someone - they aren't, but always tease him about it when he asks

Regarding that, even though I already described kazeva as Bisexual Swingers, somehow I feel they'd remain in a closed relationship with Big Boss. I guess it'd be kind of a "just assumed that" thing, meaning Big Boss wouldn't actually mind them trying to add another person for intercourse, he simply doesn't actively look for that kind of experience (as if he doesn't already have more than enough with these two horny bastards) and they never really bring it up either (they're that infatuated I guess), just joke about it

I think EVA is the type to steal food from the other two while actively eating. Oh, we're having breakfast and I already finished? Too bad for you, I'm grabbing your marmalade toast. Out of your hand. After you already bit it. Big Boss just steals something back, but from Kaz. Kaz gets mad. He's the one who has to prepare more food. To get stolen. Again.

EVA is the one who repairs the motorbikes. Only her. You better not touch her damaged babies. It's her work. She Will hit you. She tolerates Kaz because he knows what she's talking about, but Big Boss can only help by bringing clean towels and food (and not touching anything else)

Kaz often tries to take them to hot springs whenever they visit a place with them - not just for nostalgia, but also as a way to have them completely relax for a bit

Okay, I hope this is enough!

[wrongcaitlyn]

this isn’t tyt related BUT

I am asking the great writer on advice of how to write a paragraph on explaining a characters appearance because i am STRUGGLING. it should be easy but the words are not wording 😭 any tips for this and just writing in general? (you’ve probably said this somewhere else but so sorry i didn’t see it)

ahhsdf first of all i am flattered that you think of me as a great writer 😭 but!! i do have a few tips!!

so first of all, the amount of detail that you put into a character's appearance really depends on perspective!! for example, i've definitely sometimes written entire paragraphs of, like, nico describing will - a subtle nod toward the fact that he's completely and utterly whipped for him. but then for another character, such as, like, reyna, i may do something simple like "a tall girl with her hair in a braid" (i can't remember the actual description i gave reyna lmao)

so, for a short description:

the simpler, the better. i think the most identifiable traits of a person is their hair (if we're talking about a regular human being, not an alien or animal or something, in which it would probably be whatever traits are not human - such as, say, a cat tail would be the most identifiable trait of catra from shera)

i usually just revert to the easiest method, which is just: hair color and style. if it's in a braid, or a ponytail; if it's short, or long; blonde, brown, pink, or anything else - then your reader already has a vague image of this.

also, it depends what kind of story/fic you're writing! if it's a solangelo fic, chances are, writing "blond guy" is literally all you need to write to make sure your audience knows you're talking about will. but if you're writing a fic in which there are several blond guys, then you'll probably want to go into slightly more detail (like, curly blond hair for will, and short blond hair for jason - even though for jason, i would say glasses would be the defining trait)

eyes are also good! or what they're wearing! just make sure that whatever description you're adding is something that either helps identify the character, or identify the character's personality. a baggy hoodie for nico. a flannel jacket for will. leather jackets, plain tee-shirts, ripped jeans, a mini skirt, flowy dresses, are all pieces of clothing that can make a statement about the character, specifically in au's- because we already know this character, but in this universe, what are they like?

adding on to that, a casual way to point out their clothing is to mention it in relation to the weather. i've done this so many times. like, will wearing a plain tee shirt and cargo shorts in freezing weather! or something like that. if it fits into your story

just remember that, most of the time, people's internal monologues aren't going super in depth about a person's appearance - if i meet someone new, i'd probably note smth like "oh, this guy has glasses and short dark hair. he's wearing a blue jacket" in my head, and nothing further than that

HOWEVER. this is where you get to share more about the person whose pov you're writing. say you're describing the love interest - it would be very likely for (and i'm just using nico and will as an example bc i write them the most) nico to go super in depth about will's freckles, and how blue his eyes are, and how there's a strand of blond curly hair caught in his eyelash, and how his jacket is loose over his shoulders but seems to fit just right, and the star wars tee-shirt that he's wearing is so ridiculous and yet he looks just incredible.

allow yourself to fully think in the perspective of the person you're writing. is the person detail-oriented? if so, they'd probably take more notice of people's appearance than someone who doesn't give a shit. is the person interested in fashion in the first place? then they may add notes about how this piece of clothing really brings out their eyes, or comment on how horrible the shoes match with the jacket.

but *most* of the time, it's something simple. i've gone into so much detail and a slight ramble here lmfaoSKDJF BUT- the MAIN thing i wanted to say was, if you're really in doubt, don't waste too much time on a character's appearance! find one/two identifiable traits, work it into their entry (he ran into a blond guy with a green flannel; she narrowed her eyes, trying to recognize the girl with bubblegum pink hair and a leather jacket; he could only see the back of his head, taking note of the shoulder-length dark hair and denim jacket)

in the end, physical appearance is one of the least important parts of a story - specifically in fics, when everyone already has an idea of how characters look and will likely already have hc's as to what kind of clothes they wear/what length their hair is. add what you like, but if you're worried about making it sound good, just remember that even if you don't add a physical description at all, once you say the character's name, probably everyone will already have a semi-accurate picture of the character in their head!

thank you for the ask :)

[secretsnowclub]

TTRPG Class: How to Write

Previous Post: Quasi-Text

First Post: Reading List

This was originally posted in my huge post-mortem on the .dungeon//remastered kickstarter and its success. I’m separating it from that and making it its own thing. I’ll be elaborating some of the smaller points and expanding definitions. Things like that. 

Firstly, I will say that if you are trying to be a writer for a company or get hired by someone else? These might not help you. Those companies are looking for you to write like them, which depends upon the project and countless variables I can’t quantify. It’s also an entire skill of its own. Freelance or ghost writing can often be about how well you understand different voices, different systems, and things of that nature. I’m honestly not *the best* at that kind of thing. These tips are specifically to help with the writer’s broader craft; specifically, the craft of TTRPG writing which I have found myself a professional in.

Don’t be boring. If you’re bored, skip it. Delete it. Forget about it. 

I picked this up from a screenwriting book way back before I decided to go back to college and while I was deep in the weeds of writing scripts for the movies I had in my head. The original tip-giver said to write “don’t be boring” on a post-it note and slap it on your monitor. I did that for a very long time until the post-it lost its stickiness and fell off in a move. 

This is important to TTRPGs because you don’t have to write everything. Even if you think a game needs a thing, if you aren’t excited about it, skip it. Chances are that what you’re excited about will be what you want others to be excited about as well.

2. Have a routine.

I fail at this quite often. Life changes shift my routine and knock it out of whack. But I do know that when I was in college? I had a routine and my writing output was ridiculous. And when I work on a project I tend to settle into a routine that involves waking up, exercise of some kind (usually a walk), shower, ride bike or walk to Library or coffee shop, write as much as I can, and come home to decompress/work on layout. 

Each project has had its own routine essentially and it’s important to let those routines form. I think fluidity is important even within the rigidity of the idea of Routine. Each project will have its own life and its own functions within your life. Let yourself discover new ways and new paths to reach the end goal. 

3. When writing fiction, aim for 2k words daily.

This is Stephen King’s thing. I used to do this and whenever I am writing *fiction* I still have it as my goal. But it is unattainable a lot of the time. Especially with games writing, where even just 10 words can be the focus of an entire day of work. Don’t beat yourself up over this. 

4. Write in paragraphs. Each should be an idea, preferably separated by headers. Otherwise you’re probably saying too much.

Sometimes I write in bullet points, but that’s an outline at best. A paragraph is one of the best tools you have as a writer. But it also allows you to set limits on your ideas so you’re not writing walls of text to describe your magic system or anything else. It helps you figure out your more complex systems and point out the individual ideas that make it up. If you’re writing several paragraphs about one thing? It’s probably several things that you’re trying to wedge into one.

5. Instead of writing a random generator for something, just write the good version of that thing.

6. Make a map. Put your ideas on the map. No more lists or procedural generation.

Personal pet peeve of mine. I’m not huge on random generators. I will always say that, instead of writing 100 random ideas for islands, just write one good island. And if you’ve got more in you after that? Perfect. My goal with Game Writing is to present something that’s worth paying for and worth exploring. Whether it’s a rule book or otherwise. I try to avoid random tables as often as I can.

7. Theme comes later. First, the writing.

This may be contentious. I view the act of writing as an act of discovery. I greatly enjoy Automatic Writing. I tend to follow a very train-of-thought style of writing. It feels similar to a valve that I turn on to clear out and let clean water flow. If I get caught up in the Big Picture, I’ll never get the faucet running. Get everything out of yourself before you begin self-editing. Let it all be laid out so you can look at it and then discover what It is.

8. When writing rules, remember “if…then.”

If a player chooses this option, then this happens. If a player rolls low, then this happens. And so on. This is helpful when simply stating a rule. You don’t want to get burdened by word choice. You want it to be clear and easily understood. If-then statements are easy to understand. 

9. Get a good editor and listen to them.

A good editor will tell you you’re wrong. A good editor will ask you to rewrite things because they don’t make sense. A good editor is critical but not malicious. This relationship is mutual and about respect for the work. It’s not about egos or hype. It’s simply about making the best book you can. Also, if you can’t defend a choice you’ve made, then listen to your editor when they tell you to cut it.

10. A great game is made of “catch-all” or “default” rules. Such as, “when in doubt, roll d20. Higher numbers are better.” They’re easily grasped and fill the gaps that all TTRPG texts have.

Yeah. I think all of the games people hold up as “great” have these. PbtA is built entirely on one catch-all rule that has changed the landscape of indie design since it was put on the page. It makes things easier for folks at the table when things are moving away from the text.

11. Your goal is to write one thing that’s True. This is the Work.

This is my goal when writing and sometimes it doesn’t happen. Sometimes I write thousands of words and they’re all useless. And it will always be useless until I find that One True Thing. Sometimes an entire book is just for that One Thing.

12. Refill the tank. Life is important and creates art.

This is what a screenwriting teacher said to me. “Refill the tank.” You have to participate in life to be able to write. That doesn’t mean you have to be extroverted and shit like that. It means that you gotta do things that recharge you. You gotta have experiences. You have to live your life. Have a life. 

13. The writer’s job is asking “what if?”

Stephen King might have said this too? I don’t remember. But yeah, I spend a lot of time asking “what if–” and seeing which weird scenarios spark my interest enough to write. For games or for fiction.

14. Read. A lot.

I count audiobooks. But, yeah. You gotta read stuff. Other games, novels, short stories, blogs, comics even. Take in art. It’s actually your number one job as a human. Enjoy art.

15. Go for a walk without music or a book-on-tape or a podcast. Walk and talk to yourself. Ask yourself questions about what you’re working on. Talk to yourself. Be in conversation with yourself. You are complicated and deserve attention.

I mean it :I They say the best ideas come to you in the shower. Well, that’s also true for any quiet, introspective time.

16. Have peers. Not just collaborators or colleagues, people whose work you respect. They should make you want to be better.

I get jealous of other people’s work and that’s how I know. When I’m like, “FUCK! I wish I thought of that!!” Those are the people I wanna talk to haha

17. If things just aren’t coming? Take a break. If you’re feeling aggravated, eat some food, drink some water, and get some rest.

You can’t force it. I know we can’t all take a break whenever we want, but please try.

18. Know yourself. Most people can’t sit alone with themselves. But knowing yourself is paramount. Therapy can help too. Knowing yourself means knowing why you like something, developing taste and not hiding it, knowing where to waste your time and where not to. This takes time. This is the Work.

I learn something new about myself nearly every day. I’m very curious about myself. I’m a studier of Myself. I want to know how it all works up there in my brain. I want to make it make sense. 

19. A hex/encounter/dungeon room/story can just be a weird, little guy.

Yeah. You can do Dungeon23 right now by just browsing pinterest and saving a bunch of images of cools NPCs. Your whole dungeon can just be pictures of NPCs that you make up personalities for at the table.

20. Write the game you want to play, not the one you think others will.

I think I wrote this in response to another project I saw at the time. But it’s true at all times. We’re indie designers. Why else are we doing this if not to tell our stories? 

21. Make sure your needs are taken care of by the budget before hiring collaborators.

It’s common in the indie TTRPG space to rely on collaborator clout to draw people to your project during crowdfunding. And it’s common for those sorts of things to ruin a project financially. The process will always take longer than you expect, so please make sure YOUR needs are met before you start paying other people. There’s nothing worse than promising a paycheck to someone and having to rescind the offer because something happened and you had to use their money on rent. Like, just please? Care for yourself. 

22. No stretch goals.

This is a Me thing. But I say it to everyone who comes to me asking for advice on their first crowdfunded project. Keep it simple. You want to deliver. You don’t want to overpromise. You simply want to be able to do the thing so that you can do another one later. Take it slow.

23. When writing Hurt, the most important thing is that you are human. What you feel is human. What happened to you is also human.

This is about empathy. For your characters and situations they find themselves in. It’s also about honesty. The most biting and beautiful passages of my favorite books have been honest. Because the truth is, when experiencing Hurt, things aren’t so cut and dry in your head. And your reactions might seem weird in hindsight. You might feel ashamed or guilty for not reacting a certain way. Just please have empathy for yourself. The readers will relate to the honesty.

24. End all dialog with “said.” It’s all you need.

This is a good rule because it means you have to choose to break it. Which means you have to think about why you’re breaking it. Which means you can defend breaking it. Which means your editor has to listen to you for once. :P

25. Writing is a skill as much as it is an art. Give it respect. Good writers don’t simply fall out of the womb. They mastered a craft. Not unlike any other skill or discipline. You won’t build a good chair on your first try.

It took me a long time to learn this. Writing is actually very hard and every good paragraph you read is a masterpiece of patience and skill. 

26. Find time to write. How else can you be a writer?

I hate including things because I see a silly take on twitter. But yeah, obviously. Writers write. 

27. Writing can be lonely, but shouldn't be solitary. No book is made by one set of hands.

This is true of every project I’ve done. Even my most recent effort, Melancholy Island, had my friend Char’s photography in it. Beyond that, I talked to my best friend Coleen frequently about it just to keep my head straight and focused. I also have my discord where I would lament and talk and such. Each of these things are helpful in the process of writing. Don’t isolate yourself.

28. Having an opinion is easy. Having a good one worth defending is the Work. If you have nothing to say, do anything other than write.

This may be more true of non-fiction writing, but it’s true of TTRPGs as well, otherwise you’d just play one of the thousands upon thousands of games that are already out. Figure out why it is you *don’t* want to play them and focus in on that. Your opinion lies somewhere in there.

29. Never submit a first draft.

Like, please? Have more respect for your craft. I think third draft at the earliest. That’s when I usually get an editor.

30. Don’t follow trends.

31. Writing is about making choices. Half measures are worthless. Make a choice. If it’s the wrong choice: that’s fine.

32. When writing games, you’re composing an incomplete text. Otherwise it’s a script. Choosing to write a game over a novel is an important decision.

These are all related. 

33. The two ideas circling your head are actually one idea.

I combine ideas that seem disparate all the time. It unlocks the Good Stuff.

34. Take yourself seriously. Listen to yourself. This is how you gain confidence.

35. You need to learn to say, “That’s a bad idea.”

These two both boil down to “have confidence in, and know, your taste.”

36. When writing, ignore the first thing that pops into your head. Ignore the second thing too. The third idea is where the work starts.

I’ve found when running games, the first idea I think of is often the most obvious. The second one ends up being a gimmick or a twist. But the third idea is where the humanity tends to come in. Thinking beyond tropes and cliches to find the Truth you’re trying to say.

37. Western writing traditions are not the world.

I wish I had been taught this in school. Cause the hero’s journey ruined me for a long time.

38. If you aren’t sure if you can or should write something: experience more art. You don’t need permission. You need to broaden your horizons. You’re not the first to tread this path.

We’re hardly ever doing something truly original. Find the blueprints and figure out how to make them yours. Use them to tell your story.

39. If you can’t say why you chose to do something, shut up and listen to your editor.

Yeah! :I

40. The most beautiful critique isn’t worth as much as the most mediocre art.

Keep making art.

41. Copy writing you enjoy. Assimilate it.

I steal ideas, concepts, and techniques from every single thing I read/experience. This is how you become more skilled at your craft.

42. Your job, as a writer, is to make a claim. Any claim. Your art can’t be for everyone. You can’t write for the lowest common denominator. You can’t write for the widest possible audience. Be you. That’s how you find your audience.

You’ve got things to say! Even if you don’t know it yet. That is part of the Work.

If you like my work, support me on patreon!

And check out my latest book over on itch!

[3kiripima3]

Hi!! I’d love to request a matchup for Hazbin Hotel! (could I please not be matched with Valentino or Nifty?) <33

my pronouns are she/her and I’m asexual biromantic (I’d prefer a male character but if you think one of the girls fits me best any gender is fine). I’m an ESFJ and a Gemini. I have green eyes and dyed cherry red hair. I dress with vintage/“fairy grunge” clothes. Long skirts and corsets are my fav type of outfit. I wear lots of rings and crystal/pearl necklaces and love to exchange them with others. I also have tattoos, currently I have three but I’m planning to get more. I love to wear makeup and come up with something creative and different everyday. Also if someone lets me do their makeup they’ll have my heart forever.

I’m the mom friend of the group, always there for everyone and my friends say that I’m really good at comforting people. I’m also calm and responsible, I usually am the one that takes care of other people. I’m very optimistic, I always try to see the good in everything and I often put other’s needs before my own. I love making others laugh to lighten the situation. I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for someone else but sometimes it’s hard for me to say no to things. I also dislike when someone is too serious and really can’t take a joke as I tend to use humor as my coping mechanism. I’m also very ambitious, I always try to achieve my goals.

My love languages are, receiving, physical touch and words of affirmation and giving, quality time and words of affirmation.

I absolutely love listening to music, it helps me relax and I really like reading (I love reading out loud to others, when I read dialogues I act them out a little to help picture the scene). I especially love fantasy and I recently got into greek mythology. I also love watching horror movies even though it’s impossible to scare me. I also play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends anytime I can. also, I absolutely love musicals and I’m definitely a theatre kid.

Have a great day!! :)

Hi! Thanks for the request! After some consideration, I think I'd pair you with…

Velvette!

I personally feel like she'd be perfect for you!

Velvette would assuredly love your sense of fashion. I can see her personally making you numerous clothing items that fit your style and vibe. I feel like she would let you do her makeup a lot, however she'd probably not allow you to do whatever you want and give you a specific sort of look to do.

She'd thrive off of having you there to be comforting and more responsible. As she 100% gets sick and tired of having to deal with Vox and Val all the time, so she'd appreciate having someone there to care for her as well. Although, she will not often admit it to you.

Velvette respects you being ambitious and loves that about you as she's also rather ambitious and goal driven.

She may not be the type to often verbalise her positive thoughts about things, but she'd try with those she loves. However, she'd be clingy as fuck with you.

Velvette doesn't read books much, but if you read to her, she'd enjoy it. However, I see her having a tendency to get attached to characters and partially blaming you if they die in a book you're reading to her.

Thanks for requesting! I hope this is good enough for you :)