#I am not tagging every single person here are you kidding me
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kavehater · 7 months ago
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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feralhoekage · 4 months ago
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Welcome to the Genjutsu
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I dare you to fall into my rabbit hole...
Hi Sweeties!! ☺️ I'm finally making a pinned post!!
First things first, I do NOT allow any minors on my page, if I find you, you will be blocked immediately, trust me.
You can call me Olivia, Liv, Livi 🤍 I go by many names
I will never post nudes! Don't ask, it's tacky, & lame. && Please don't fill my submissions with dick pics I didn't ask for.
A little about me: I am 26, in my first year, getting my degree in botany. I'm pagan/wiccan, still very new though & something I keep close to myself because people can be cruel. I am a mom, I have three kids. I am also bisexual. Don't take my non-response to your messages as ignoring you. I'm very busy and cannot reply to everyone, every single day. Also if I repost something but don't reply to you, please don't be offended! I promise if I'm not responding, I am most likely in a shitty ass mood and I don't want to take that out on anyone. I am 5'5, and between 120 lbs. I have one tattoo, and one piercing. I'm a libra, October 21 is my birthday, and Halloween is my favorite day of the year. I am very shy, but can be very clingy... ugh.
I use tags HEAVILY on my page, click on the ones at the bottom of the post to navigate around a lot easier :) I promise you'll thank me
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Enough of that, now! On to the kinks portion of the tour: (This list is still growing/I haven't figured all of mine out yet- so this list will change a bit most likely.)
Breeding | DD/lg | CNC | Corruption | Fauxcest | Masochism | Pain/Degrading | Size Difference | Somno | Age Difference | R@pe Play
Hard NO's!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I give one- maybe two depending on the person- warnings, then you will be blocked if you cross my boundaries.)
Anal (Traumatized from my experiences.)
Any body fluids EXCEPT cum and spit. (Blood is okay, haven't had much experience with it though)
diaper stuff - no hate, just not for me (:
Cheating/Poly-to each their own, but I don't like it.
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Other things I enjoy since I am human and sex isn't the ONLY thing I think about(it's up there lol): Nordic mythology, Vikings(in every aspect), I want to be an author eventually(maybe), I smoke weed, I play video games. DC comics are my favorite but I do like marvel as well. Anime is my favorite genre. DnD! I absolutely love food. I can bake🥰 I do not look like I can eat but I can lol. I will 100% talk to you about tattoos all of the time 🥰. I am obviously in botany, so plants and trees are my favorite thing! My favorite colors are dark green, pink, and yellow 🩷 I'm very much into the dark and spooky side of everything, but I love the girly side of me and life as well.
Taken Anon Emojis: 🤠, 🦥, 🦀, 📌, 👑, 🐻, 🐺, ⚡,🐕, 🍀, FPFL , 🐯, 🦊
I follow people back, but it's based off your profile, I read bios. Your age has to be in your bio for me to follow you back. But if you have taken/married/open relationship or anything like that in your bio, I will not follow you back :) and I will not flirt with you if you're in any type of relationship 👍🏽 if I also find out that you have been flirting with me and are in a relationship you will be blocked immediately. I will not be lied to, by omission or otherwise. Please be respectful 🤍
~ Since I keep getting asked about it in my asks Click here for my CashApp. Or click here for my Ko-Fi | Please don't take this as me asking for ANYTHING, I do not like answering those asks because it feels like I'm begging? And not in the fun way. ~
Here's my Twitter link as well since I forgot it 🫠😅🥰
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lovecanyon · 1 year ago
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Inside Y/N L/N’s Bag | Vogue | Dad!H
MASTERLIST | PATREON
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“Hi Vogue I am Y/N L/N and this is what’s in my bag.”
After she introduces herself, Y/N looks down at the bag in her lap. The bag she had used every single day was a personalized Pleasing mesh bag. It was a light pink color and had a blue ribbon tied onto one of the straps.
It was clear that it meant a lot to her.
“What I carry with me everyday is this.” She says grabbing onto her bag. “You can fit anything in here. And the thing about this is, it’s technically Inez’s diaper bag.”
Y/N then grins at the memory of Harry gifting her the tote.
“This specific bag was gifted to me by my husband a while ago, right before he had launched Pleasing. My son actually loves this bag and has one of his own but smaller. He doesn't go anywhere without it.” Y/N shares.
Setting her carrier onto the wooden coffee table in front of her, the Styles woman reaches into her bag and pulls out a bag of candy. Beau's favorite type.
Y/N remembers the night when Harry had got their son addicted to the chocolate minstrels.
“My son is obsessed with these and when I saw them I had to get them for him.” She laughs. “I spoil my kids way too much.”
The next thing Y/N pulled out was her phone. Just a plain iPhone 14 with a case that she had stolen from Harry or borrowed it, so she said. Once she taps on the screen her face lights up.
Her lock screen was a photo of a newborn Inez sleeping on Harry’s chest with Beau right beside them.
She almost shed a tear.
“This is my phone, nothing special until you look at the lock screen.” Y/N grins. She loved her family so deeply.
After placing her phone onto the table, she slides her hand into her carrier pulling out a blue bandanna. It previously belonged to Harry until Inez came around and slid the bandanna off of her father’s head.
It was truly her favorite thing in the world. You could say it was sort of like a safety blanket for her.
“Harry’s bandanna or should I say Inez’s bandanna. That girl loves this thing so much.”
-
A small bag of diapers, bibs, toy trucks, hair clips that she had stole back from Harry, kids sunscreen, Love on Tour’s backstage/V.I.P passes, bandaids, Harry’s headphones, her family’s passports and a camera
“Since we’re currently on tour and always traveling I always have to carry my children’s essentials.” Y/N explains looking at all the items laid out in front of her. “You can never be unprepared.”
Just five years ago her bag was filled with very different items than now. She was now a mother and had a family with a man she’s always wanted to grow old with.
Two kids later and she’s become a changed woman, a better one. She’s always valued the life she had, especially right now. Y/N couldn't have been more happy.
“Another toy!” Y/N laughs, pulling out another toy from her bag. “A mini statue of our dog Kendall who was actually named after Kendall Roy from Succession since Harry is obsessed with that show.” She holds out a miniature dog in her palm.
Following the toy, she slides out a pair of rings that clearly belonged to Harry Styles since they were his initials.
Y/N leans forward and slips the rings into her back pocket. She remembers the last time Harry had lost jewelry. It was at Coachella and he went insane looking for them.
“We are not losing any more rings.”
Comments:
harryfan2 WHEN WAS THEIR WEDDING OMFG?????
harryfan10 best mother in the world truly
harryfan4 harry’s love for succession has me rolling ���😭
harryfan8 this. is. what. we. needed.
harryfan13 THE LOCK SCREEN
harryfan7 i cannot stress how much i love this video
harryfan5 the literal girl version of harry
harryfan9 harry is finally y/n’s husband 🧎‍♂️
harryfan11 i’m literally crying
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tag list: @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @cherryfragrancx @milkiane @golden-hoax @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @stellarossii @scenesofobx @manifestrry @lomlolivia
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wendysimp · 1 year ago
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Secrets Out Pt.1 (Wendy x Seulgi)
Wendy (Step Sister) is back X Seulgi X Male Reader
Tags: Shower Sex, Risky Sex Blowjob, Double Blowjob, Spitting, Deepthroat, Daddy Kink, Threesome, Riding, Face Sitting and much more!
This is a NEW series which is continuing off from The Big Reveal. Hope you guys enjoy.
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(Y/n’s POV)
Ugh school… WHY?! I just want to be glued to my bed all day.
“Honey? Wake up, time for school.” Really mom?
Just kill me honestly. After finally getting up from my comfortable bed I should be sleeping in, I grabbed myself a change of clothes before heading out to have a shower. There’s only one problem… My Sister is in the shower already.
Last weekend. One of the craziest things ever happened. What is it you ask? Well to keep it short and sweet, I not only fucked my big sister Wendy, but I also got to fuck her hot friends too.
I could remember every single second of it. Even after that Wendy and I would mess around. Speaking of Wendy… I look around to make sure the coast is clear. Good! I’m gonna get in and surprise her.
(Wendy’s POV)
Nothing more like starting off the morning with a nice warm shower. I love the feeling of the water dripping down my body… and feeling Y/n’s cock inside me- okay wait what?! Fuck!
That dumbass really got me needing him more. Oh who am I kidding, I’ve always been needing him. I even sucked his dick under the table while having dinner with our mom there as well. Luckily she didn’t catch us.
I’m getting wet. I-I… need him. I slide my hands down to my pussy, rubbing it just like how he does it to me.
“Mmm Y/n I need you’re touch.” I moan softly to myself.
“I see you can’t stop thinking about me sis.” My eyes widened.
I turn around, see Y/n and before I could scream he covers my mouth and pins me against the shower glass. I look up into his eyes.
“Shhh mom will hear you.” He whispers. Even the way he talks is making me more wet.
He finally removed his hands and I cover my body.
“What are you doing here dumbass?!” I asked him and he rolls his eyes.
“Come on, you’re really coving up even though I’ve seen you naked before when we fuck?” This tease.
I slap his arms and continued to wash up as I tried to ignore him. I felt him hold me from behind, feeling his hands roam around my body. Fuck Y/n you’re killing me. I bite my lip hard trying not to give him a reaction he wanted out of me.
“Come on, don’t you need my touch sis?” H-his hands! His rubbing my pussy.
“S-shut up and let’s hurry and finish up before mom suspects something.” I tell him but he doesn’t listen. No surprise there since he barely listens to me.
“Shhh she won’t.” I felt his lips on my neck. It turned me on so much I even let out a little moan. He smirks against my skin.
“You like that don’t you?”
“S-shut up you perv.” I tell him as he keeps going.
I felt his cock press against my ass. This fucker! You know what? Two can play that game!
(3rd Person View)
Wendy turns and Kisses Y/n deeply while stroking his cock slowly making him harder and turned on. They pull away as they look into each others eyes
“Hurry up and fuck me!” Wendy whispers.
And with that, no hesitation from Y/n as he turns her around again, bends her over as she was against the shower glass once again. He lines himself up along her pussy and slides into her.
Y/n let’s put a grunt while Wendy let’s put a moan as she feels him deep inside her. Y/n grabs her hips and start to thrust deep and hard as their bodies slap against each others.
“You fucking like that Wendy? You like when bro fucks you so good?” He slams into her harder causing her to roll her eyes back.
“Y-yesifuckingloveit!” She moans uncontrollably.
Y/n gives Wendy a light spank on her ass, leaving a mark which she didn’t mind at all as she was filled with lust.
“F-fuck you’re so deep inside of me!” She moans and looks over her shoulder at her brother.
(Y/n’s POV)
A knock can be heard and we both look at each other.
“Don’t stop.” She whispered to me which I nodded and keep fucking her tight pussy.
“Wendy, are you okay in there?” Mom asks her.
“Y-yeah mom I’m fine just- f-fuck!” She moans leaving mom confused. I chuckled.
“Calm down mom will catch us.” I whispered and tease her more while fucking her faster and deeper. She turns and slaps my hand.
“S-shut up dumbass!” She whispered to me.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Y-yes mom I’m okay. I-I feel s-so… s-so fucking good right now.”
“W-well okay. I’m off to work now, make sure your brother gets ready. I love you.” She says before leaving.
“Love you too!” She yells back.
Mom leaves and she pulls my cock out of her before turning to me and said…
“Take me to your bed and fuck me!”
(A little time skip)
We finish up and Wendy raises from between my legs, wiping her mouth.
“Thanks for giving me my breakfast baby boy.” She winks after swallowing my load I shot into her mouth.
She leaves my room, telling me to hurry up and get ready. What a great way to start the morning.
I put in my clothes get my bag and keys then wait for Wendy. She comes down a few minutes later and see her with a nice, beautiful dress which looked so sexy on her. The things I’d do to her right now with that dress on.
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“You look beautiful Wendy.” I tell her causing her to blush and look away. I chuckled.
“T-Thanks dumbass. We also gotta pick up Seulgi on the way to school. She needs a ride.” She tells me which I didn’t mind at all.
We head over to Seulgi’s and she comes out with a nice blue dress that looked absolutely fucking great on her. Look at her curves!
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She enters the car with a big smile and puts on her seat belt.
“Hi Y/n! Hey Wendy!” She greeted us warmly.
“Hey baby, you look really great today. Love that dress you got on.” I flirt. Wendy doesn’t seem to like it when I flirt with her friends.
Seulgi blushes and bites her lip.
“Okay not now! Let’s get to school before we arrive there late.” In a rush are we sis?
“Yes ma’am I’m on it.” I start to drive.
“You’re annoying you know that?” She rolled her eyes.
“So how was the sex on his bed this morning?” Seulgi asks with a teasing smirk which caused her to get a slap on the arm by Wendy.
“Y-you weren’t supposed to mention what I told you in front of him!” She scolds her.
“Oww okay okay!” Seulgi rubs her arm.
“Wendy relax. You okay Seulgi?” I asked her and she nodded.
“W-Wendy? Could I maybe have your brother again?” She asks.
“Eww what?! No!”
“Oh come on, you’ve got to have so many turns with him and plus, I’ve been missing the feeling of him inside me.” She looks over at me and I wink at her.
“I missed that feeling too.” I tell her.
“Okay first of all, I’m right here, and secondly, I’m not just gonna sit aside and watch you guys fuck! We got school to go too!” Wendy isn’t a fan of being late to school.
“Who said anything about watching when you can join us?”
“Yeah she’s right sis come on.” Why does Wendy have to be a party pooper?
“No! That’s final.” She looks out the window as silence fill the car.
(Meanwhile)
Slurping, choking, moaning and spitting. If you haven’t guessed it yet, Wendy changed her mind last second and here we are, in the backseat all together, naked as they share my cock.
“Mmm that’s it keep sucking just like that. You’re so good at this Seulgi.” I smile and praise her as she winked and bobbed her head all the way down my length.
My cock hits the back of her throat which felt like I was in a dream world. She chokes and pulls away to catch her breath then spits on my shaft. Meanwhile, Wendy was doing fucking amazing with my balls in her mouth. I could feel her tongue just run circles around each of them and felt the vibrations on my balls from her moans.
They both switch as Wendy takes me into her mouth and Seulgi taking my balls.
“Mmm you like that huh perv? You like the way your big sis sucks your big fat cock?” Wendy smirked as she continued to blow me.
“Shut up and just keep sucking.” I lean my head back in pleasure.
They keep going until they eventually pull away.
“Lay down daddy. I wanna show you how a good girl rides.” Seulgi really turns me on with the way she talks.
I listen and lay down as she straddles my lap and Wendy straddles my face with her pussy. Fuck what a time to be alive. Without wasting time. Seulgi slumps down on my cock, riding like there’s no tomorrow while Wendy sits her ass on my face. Moans fill out the car but Seulgi let’s out a scream.
“Ahhh fuck Y/n your cock is deep inside of me! I-it’s so big!” She yells in complete pleasure.
“S-Seulgi be q-quiet… p-people might hear- f-fuck right there! Fuck me with your tongue baby boy!” She let’s out a yell as well as she couldn’t help herself.
I grip Seulgi’s hips and squeeze onto Wendy’s ass. The car was shaking like crazy with the way they were both riding me. They both switch places as Wendy rides me as I get a taste Of Seulgi’s soaked pussy.
“F-fuck bro! Your dick is so good.”
“K-Kiss me Wendy.” They both pull each other into a heated make out, moaning into each other’s mouths.
Having Wendy and Seulgi is one of the best things in the world, but how could I forget Joy? Yeri? And Irene? Having all five is so much better but hey, I’m not complaining.
After a while of riding both my face and cock, I felt Seulgi release onto my face and Wendy onto my cock.
“Ahhh f-fuck yesss y/n!” The both moan before getting off of me.
They both look at me with a stare full of lust and smile.
“Daddy still needs to cum. How about we help your brother unload?” She looks at Wendy with a smirk.
“You read my mind. Don’t be afraid to let it all out baby boy.” She winks and they both get in between my legs just like before and lick up from the base to my tip slowly.
The both kiss my tip and stop as Wendy takes her phone out.
“Let’s make a video for our girls. You wouldn’t mind taking the video do you baby boy?” Wendy looks up at me.
“Not at all.” I say and smile as I take the phone and hit record.
They kiss my tip again.
“Hey girls. You’re missing out. Too bad you guys can’t be here.” They both tease the other girls and down my cock into their mouths.
They both take turns slurping my cock and occasionally spit on it before making out with my cock in the middle. I was going completely crazy. Watching them pass my cock around to each other like it was delicious food.
“Give us your cum baby boy.” Wendy strokes me.
“Give it all to us daddy. Give us your big yummy load. Shoot it down our throats.”
Their dirty talk is fucking amazing I can feel myself getting closer… and closer… and-.
“I-I’m gonna cum. Open up!” I tell them and they listen and do what I said.
They open their mouths and smile as they both wait patiently for my load. They both stroke me which took me into another dimension.
I watch as my load shoots out and down their throats but some hitting their beautiful faces. They smile and giggle as they start to play with my cum and share it. These girls are crazy. They make out before swallowing my cum and show the camera that there was none left but a mess still on their faces.
“See you guys soon.” They both blow a kiss and wink before I end the video. Wendy takes her phone and sends it to Joy, Irene and Yeri.
Seulgi cleans her face and lick the remaining cum off her fingers. Wendy does the same and looks up at me.
“You made a mess dumbass. Lucky you, I don’t mind cleaning it off.” She smirked.
They both get up and sit on each of my legs and lean in for a three way kiss. We made out for what felt like ages before we pull away to catch our breaths.
“Let’s get to class now.” Seulgi says and we nodded as we all get our clothes back on and head into the school.
We head to our classes which of course, we all received a detention. Was it worth it? Fuck yeah it was. I’m also glad we didn’t get caught. Word does go around pretty quick.
(Unknown POV)
What the fuck?! I just witnessed Y/n fucking Seulgi… and his step sister in his car?! I heard screams in the parking lot and decided to check it out, that’s when I saw the scene happen in front of my eyes.
I recorded most of it. I can’t wait to show the girls… though, looking through the video, Y/n’s dick is making me… wet. Fuck I wonder how he feels inside- okay enough! I got to get out of here and change my panties.
To be continued!
I’m so so sorry I took so long to put something out. Personal reasons that prevented me to do so. But I’m back and hope I can be consistent like how I was before. I hope you guys enjoyed and sorry if it was a little shorter than expected but I wanted to get rid of the cobwebs when it comes to writing. Again I hope you enjoyed and… this is only the beginning.😉
(If there’s any errors please let me know and I’ll fix it. Thank you!)
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threewaywithdelusion · 1 year ago
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You Me Her
Since AO3 is down and I'm sure people are losing their minds looking for fics (I am people), I'm posting some of my fics over here. If you look in the tag "Mia writes fanfic" you can see all the fic I've posted on tumblr. If you prefer to read on AO3 now that it’s back up, you can find this fic here
Robin was the first person to notice something was wrong with Steve Harrington. 
By the end of the day, everyone had noticed. People were whispering up and down the halls, wondering what had happened to Steve since yesterday to make him act so drastically different. He hadn’t flirted with a single girl all day. He’d told Tommy Hagan to “knock it off” when Tommy had started tormenting a freshman. He’d treated his friends weirdly – avoiding Jason Carver, a sophomore on the basketball team who he’d been training, losing patience with Carol Perkins’s snappish remarks, freezing up when some cheerleaders talked to him. 
Robin heard all of this second-hand. King Steve was so notorious that even the band kids were gossiping about his personality transplant. Multiple people came up to Robin to share some tidbit of gossip that they insisted proved that Steve had been body-snatched. 
But Robin didn’t need rumors to know that Steve Harrington was different. She’d known since first period, when he’d walked into Ms. Click’s class on time and without a bagel. Steve had barely glanced at Tammy, even as she’d looked at him from under her lashes, beautiful and enticing. Instead, Steve had, for the first time in his entire life, looked at Robin. 
And he’d smiled at her. Not a polite acknowledgement of her existence – which still would have been more than Robin had ever gotten from him – but a huge, friendly smile. The kind that would have had most girls falling at his feet. 
Robin glanced behind her to see if Steve was smiling at someone else, but unless Steve was smiling like that at Fred Benson – even more unlikely – he was definitely directing that expression at her. 
Robin spun back to Steve, unsure what her face was communicating. Confusion, maybe, or wide-eyed shock. 
Steve didn’t look offended or surprised by her reaction, just gave her a dorky little wave and sat down. 
Robin stared at the back of his head, still trying to process what had just happened. Tammy turned to Robin, scanning her up and down. Robin knew she was just trying to figure out what about Robin had caught King Steve’s interest, but her scrutiny made Robin feel all hot anyway. It was Tammy, looking at Robin intently. With purpose. Taking in Robin’s stupid perm and her smudgy makeup and her layers of jewelry. 
Robin blushed. 
Tammy turned back around. 
Ms. Click began talking, but Robin didn’t hear a single word for the rest of class, lost in thought. She alternated between loud mental screaming about the fact that Tammy had looked at her and staring at Steve Harrington’s famous hair and wondering what the hell had inspired him to notice her existence. 
Robin was packing in a daze at the end of class when Steve gave her another smile before leaving. Robin accidentally met Tammy’s eyes, which were just as confused as Robin felt. 
Tammy bit her lip, which was pink and soft-looking. “Robin? Did you talk to Steve over the weekend?”
Oh my god. Tammy was talking to her. It wasn’t like Tammy never talked to her, but every single time it made Robin lose her mind and babble like a freak. 
Robin just shook her head instead of risking opening her mouth. 
“Oh,” Tammy said, looking disappointed. “But you like him?”
“No,” Robin said honestly. “I don’t even know him.”
“But you like him,” Tammy said, and this time it wasn’t a question. “I saw you blushing after he smiled at you.”
“I guess so,” Robin said. What else was she supposed to say? She couldn’t tell Tammy that she didn’t give a damn if Steve Harrington looked at her and that the blush had been all for Tammy. That would send Tammy running the other way.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Tammy said. “A lot of girls like Steve.”
She didn’t mention that she was one of those girls, but she didn’t need to. Robin knew. 
Maybe it would be okay to pretend to like Steve. It would give her and Tammy something in common and it would help her hide in plain sight. Steve was the perfect fake crush for a lesbian, pretty and athletic enough to be an acceptable crush, but unattainable enough that she would never have to act on it. Robin had never faked a crush on him before because of the principle of the thing, but now that she’d accidentally already done it, she might as well keep up the pretense. 
“Today must have been a fluke,” Robin told Tammy, trying to sound both reassuring and lovelorn. She didn’t want Tammy to see her as a threat. She wanted her to see her as a friend. “I don’t think Steve even knows my name.”
***
But Steve kept smiling at her for the rest of the week and on Thursday, Tammy asked Robin if she wanted to hang out after school. 
“Really?” Robin asked. Then, “I mean, yeah, sure. Sounds fun.”
So Robin went to Tammy’s house with the rest of Tammy’s friends. Apparently they did this every Thursday — Friday and Saturday were date nights, which made Thursday the perfect girls’ night. 
They went up to Tammy’s room, which was like peeking into her mind. The other girls paid no attention to the room, probably having seen it a million times. They settled on the floor, spreading bowls of chips and chocolates around and pulling out magazines and nail polish. But Robin couldn’t help but try to take in every detail of the room. The walls were pink and the curtains and bedspread a gauzy white, giving everything a bit of a princess feel. But there were posters on the wall, and not the kind Robin had expected. There weren’t handsome movie stars — these were girls with guitars. 
“Who’s that?” Robin asked, pointing at a poster of a girl with long straight hair, standing over a microphone and holding a guitar. 
Tammy twisted to see who Robin was pointing to. “That’s Emmylou Harris. She’s incredible. She was one of the first women to really make it big in country music.”
“So you want to be like her?” Robin asked. 
Tammy blushed a little, playing with the end of her long blonde curls. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m as good as Emmylou Harris. But that’s the dream.”
“You’re really good,” Robin said sincerely. “I heard you singing Kiss On My List before class the other day and it was-“ captivating. life-changing. beautiful. “Really good,” Robin finished lamely. 
“Thank you,” Tammy said, looking touched. 
One of Tammy’s friends — Olivia? — rolled her eyes. “Tam, we didn’t invite Robin here to talk about your singing. We want to hear about Steve Harrington!”
The two other girls — Karen and Melissa — giggled and nodded their agreement. 
“What did you do to get his attention?” Olivia asked Robin. 
Robin tried not to obviously deflate. She wanted to talk to Tammy about her passions, see the way Tammy lit up when she smiled. She didn’t want to gossip about stupid boys, especially not Steve Harrington. 
But that was why they’d invited her over. Her fake crush on Steve was her in with these girls, with Tammy, and she had to make them believe her if she wanted to be invited to spend more time with him. 
“I don’t know,” Robin said honestly. “I’ve sat behind him all year and I didn’t think he knew I existed. And then all of a sudden on Monday — bam! — he’s acting like he knows me.”
Melissa hummed, passing around bottles of nail polish. “Maybe it’s your hair? Did you perm it recently? Cause Heather Holloway says Steve has a thing for girls with curly hair.”
Tammy frowned at her own hair and shook her head. “Robin’s hair has been like that all year.”
Tammy had watched Robin closely enough to notice what she did with her hair? Robin bit down on a smile, grabbing blue nail polish from Melissa. 
“Did you go to the party last weekend?” Karen asked. 
Robin shook her head. She’s actually spend last weekend reading a book, listening to her language tapes, and playing board games with her parents. Nothing that could be remotely considered cool. 
“Did you look particularly pretty on Monday?” Olivia asked. 
Robin shrugged. “I think I just looked how I always do.”
Tammy put on a Kris Kristofferson record then sat down beside Robin again. “I guess we’ll just have to watch what he does in class. Collect more information.”
“I guess so,” Robin said, hoping Steve forgot her existence soon for her own sake. She didn’t know what she would do if he actually asked her out. 
But maybe if he kept giving her attention she could keep this new friendship with Tammy, at least for a little while. 
Robin sighed, loud and long. 
“Don’t worry,” Tammy said, “We’ll figure it out.”
“And you don’t… mind?” Robin asked. “I know you like him too. I don’t want to break girl code or something.”
Robin had never worried about breaking girl code before, for obvious reasons, but she’d seen girls fall out over liking the same guy. 
Olivia snorted. “Please. Girl code doesn’t count when it comes to Steve Harrington. He’s slept with half the school.”
“Yeah, everyone knows he’s just a good time,” Karen added. “He doesn’t actually date girls for real.”
“I went out with him for two weeks in middle school,” Melissa said. “We made it to second base and then he dumped me for Erica Tanner.”
“You’re in good company here,” Olivia promised. 
Tammy still hadn’t spoken. Tammy was  focused on painting her nails bright pink, a color Robin would never choose for herself but that perfectly matched with Tammy’s pink cheeks and pink lips, which she was biting. 
Because Tammy cared, Robin realized. Steve might be the school slut, and he might never date a girl seriously, but Tammy liked him for real. 
Melissa, Olivia, and Karen were now arguing over whether Melissa’s two-week fling with Steve Harrington counted as a relationship. They seemed sufficiently distracted, so Robin dropped her voice low and leaned into Tammy’s space. 
“Do you mind?” she asked Tammy. “Because I can back off.”
“No,” Tammy said, smile pretty and entirely a lie. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
Robin didn’t know what to do with that. Was Tammy trying to save face by not admitting she had a real crush on Steve Harrington? Was this her way of testing if Robin was worthy friend-material? How was Steve fucking Harrington Robin’s key to getting to know Tammy and also the one who was mostly likely to ruin this new friendship?
“Okay,” Robin said, staring at her nails so she wouldn’t have to figure out what facial expression was appropriate. She cleared her throat. “So you were telling me about Emmylou Harris?”
***
Steve Harrington came up to Robin at her locker on Friday, when she was getting the books she needed to take home for the weekend. 
“Hey,” he said, like it wasn’t supremely weird that he was approaching Robin Buckley, band geek and wallflower and no one who ever should have caught his eye. 
“Hi?” Robin answered. 
Steve ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you want to go to the diner with me? We could get milkshakes.”
Robin stared at him. Was this a joke? A prank? Had one of his friends dared him to ask out the weird band kid?
“What?” Robin asked. 
Steve rubbed the back of his neck. He looked nervous, which was crazy. He was Steve Harrington and she was just Robin Buckley. 
“I can drive us,” Steve said. “And I’ll pay.”
“I’m not going on a date with you,” Robin said. It was a gut reaction, but a second later Robin couldn’t help but wonder if she should have said yes. What was she going to tell Tammy about why she’d turned down her supposed crush?
But why was Steve Harrington even asking her out in the first place?
Steve didn’t look offended at her rejection, but he did hurry to say, “I know. I didn’t mean as a date.”
Robin looked down the hall. A group of cheerleaders at one end was watching them, giggling and tittering. Had the cheerleaders put him up to this? Girls could be vicious, but trying to embarrass a girl by having a boy ask her out seemed like a more guy type of prank somehow. 
“You want to hang out with me just as friends,” Robin said skeptically. 
“Yeah,” Steve said. 
Robin rolled her eyes. “Right. Thanks, but no thanks.”
“I mean it,” Steve said. “I want to be friends.”
He was lying. Robin didn’t know why, but he was lying. Maybe he thought that if she hung out with him as “friends” she would eventually change her mind and agree to date him. 
“Why?” Robin demanded. “Why would you want to be friends with me?”
Steve opened his mouth, then paused. He thought for a few seconds before he said, “You seem cool.”
Robin snorted. “I’m the furthest thing from cool.”
“No, I know,” Steve said. “I mean you seem… interesting. Nice. Fun.”
“You don’t even know me,” Robin said. “We’ve never spoken, and now all of a sudden you’re interested in me? I don’t buy it.”
“It’s true,” Steve said. He jumped as a hand landed on his arm and then Carol Perkins was there, staring Robin down with disdain in her eyes. 
“What are you doing?” Carol asked. 
“I was asking Robin to milkshakes,” Steve said. 
Carol gave Robin an up-and-down and it didn’t feel good like when Tammy had done it. Carol wasn’t admiring her. She was looking at Robin like gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. 
“Are you that bored of going out with pretty girls?” Carol asked, voice all fake-interested like it was a real question. 
Steve scowled, shaking Carol’s hand off his arm. “Robin’s pretty.”
Carol rolled her eyes. “She’s not terrible, I guess, under that bad perm, but she dresses like a dyke. If you want to rebel and date a freak or a charity case, you can do better.”
Robin flinched violently when Carol said the word dyke. She fought to keep her expression straight even as her heart raced and her lungs constricted. 
Did Carol Perkins know? Or had she blindly thrown out an insult, hoping it would hurt?
“Don’t call her that,” Steve snapped, his face dark and furious. He looked frightening enough that Robin skittered back half a step. 
Carol didn’t look scared of Steve, but her mouth did drop open in shock. 
That was fair. Robin was shocked too. 
Was Steve defending her?
Maybe this was what it meant to be a girl Steve Harrington liked. Maybe he didn’t like Carol calling Robin a dyke because that was an offense to his own masculinity. That was the only thing that made sense. Robin had heard Steve throw around gay slurs just last week, so it couldn’t be the word itself that he had a problem with.
“Seriously, Steve?” Carol asked, haughty and judgmental. “You can’t actually like her.”
“Robin is great,” Steve insisted. 
Carol rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll remind you of this when you come to your senses.”
With that, Carol spun on her heels – red hair smacking Steve in the face – and walked away.
Steve’s posture loosened, like he had also perceived Carol as a threat. 
“I’m sorry,” he told Robin, looking sincere and apologetic. 
Robin hated him. 
“Stay the fuck away from me” Robin told Steve. 
She slammed her locker and walked away, clutching her books to her chest to hide her shaking hands. She kept her head up as she walked by the cheerleaders, who laughed loudly as she passed. 
***
Steve kept smiling at her whenever he walked into Click’s class, but he didn’t try to ask her out again. 
He looked a bit like a kicked puppy every time she glared back at him, but Robin didn’t care. 
“What are you doing?” Tammy asked one day after class. “He’s going to give up on you if you keep glaring at him like that.”
“He asked me out as a joke,” Robin told Tammy. 
Tammy frowned. “Are you sure it was a joke? I don’t think he would do that.”
“I’m sure,” Robin said darkly, thinking of Carol hovering and the cheerleaders watching. Did Steve believe what Carol had said? Was that the joke: to put Robin in a position where she had to either go on a date with a man she didn’t like or else turn him down and confirm she was a lesbian? What kind of girl said no to a date with Steve Harrington?
Tammy bit her lip. She had on bright pink lipstick today. It would have looked tacky on anyone else, but it made Tammy look like a pop star. Robin wondered if the lipstick was flavored. She wished she could kiss Tammy and find out.
“You don’t mind if I flirt with him, right?” Tammy asked, echoing Robin’s words at her house last week. So far, Robin hadn’t been invited to girls’ night again. 
Yes, Robin thought. Yes, I mind. I mind so much, but not for the reason that you think. 
“Not at all,” Robin said. “It’s like you said, girl code doesn’t apply to Steve Harrington. Go for it.”
So Tammy kept trying to get Steve’s attention. He was nice to her. He never outright ignored her when she talked to him, but he never talked to her for longer than politeness required. He would always turn away, missing the way Tammy’s face fell. 
And he kept fucking smiling at Robin. Picking up her books when she dropped them. Apologizing to her when he got bagel crumbs on the floor, even though she’d never mentioned how much it annoyed her. Turning to catch her eye when someone said something funny, like he thought she was someone he could share inside jokes with. 
Slowly, Tammy stopped smiling at Robin. She started flicking annoyed glances in Robin’s direction whenever Steve gave Robin attention. Started snapping at Robin whenever Robin tried to sympathize with her about how much of a douchebag Steve Harrington was. Started avoiding Robin unless Robin directly started conversation with her. 
Steve Harrington was ruining everything.
***
“What are you doing?” Robin demanded. She’d chased Steve after Ms. Click’s class, following him to the little alley out by the gym. She was going to be late for math, but she didn’t care. She needed to talk to him before he ruined everything. 
Steve frowned as he lit up a cigarette. “What do you mean?”
“In Click’s class,” Robin said. “Tammy is practically throwing herself at you but you never even look her way. And I don’t talk to you at all, but you keep trying to talk to me.”
A flash of something crossed Steve’s face, but Robin didn’t know him well enough to read his expressions and it was gone in a heartbeat anyway. 
“You don’t want me to talk to you?” Steve asked.
“Yes!” Robin said. “No. I don’t know. Why won’t you flirt with Tammy?”
Steve’s face scrunched up. It was a face Robin had seen before when they were taking tests in class – it meant Steve had no idea what was going on. “You’re upset because I’m not flirting with Tammy Thompson?”
“I don’t get it!” Robin said. “She’s really nice and she’s a good singer and she’s really pretty. Objectively. I mean, she seems like the Steve Harrington type.”
“Right,” Steve said, his lips twitching like she had said something funny. 
“So I don’t get it,” Robin said. “She’s right there, and I don’t even try, but you keep looking. What’s so special about me?”
“Oh,” Steve said, like he had just realized something. “She’s jealous of you.”
Robin shuffled but didn’t say anything. Of course Tammy was jealous. Steve sat next to her every day, did he really not see it?
“And you don’t like that,” Steve continued, like he was figuring something out. Unfortunately, he was figuring out entirely the wrong thing. Robin wasn’t here to talk to Steve about her friendship with Tammy, she was here to find out why Steve didn’t like Tammy and why he seemed to like her. 
“It’s not about me,” Robin said. 
“Right,” Steve said, inhaling his stupid carcinogens. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Robin asked. She was pretty sure she was smarter than Steve Harrington, so she didn’t know why she was the one feeling lost in this conversation. 
Steve stubbed out his cigarette against the wall. “I’ll fix it.”
The late bell rang. Robin wanted to ask Steve what he’d understood from this conversation, but she really did need to go to math class. Arriving late wasn’t a good way to fly under the radar. 
“Okay,” she told Steve, not quite sure what she was agreeing to. 
He gave her another one of those big smiles as she left the alleyway. It made something churn in her gut. 
She wanted to be the kind of girl who got excited when Steve Harrington smiled at her like that. She wanted Tammy Thompson to smile at her like that. She wanted to fall in love with someone who loved her back, and she wanted to not get chased out of town by an angry mob with pitchforks for it. 
***
The next time Robin walked into Ms. Click’s class, Steve was flirting with Tammy. 
Robin had to stop in the middle of the aisle, feeling like she’d just been punched in the gut. 
Tammy was leaning into Steve’s space, twirling her blonde curls around one finger. Steve was smiling at her, arm stretched over the back of her chair, listening attentively as she spoke. 
Robin forced herself to walk mechanically to her desk. She took her notebook and pencil case out of her backpack and very carefully arranged everything on her desk, doing anything she could to prolong looking up. She didn’t want to watch this. 
After what felt like the longest few minutes of Robin’s life, Ms. Click began talking. Robin risked looking up and saw that Steve had pulled his arm back and Tammy was sitting in her own seat again. 
She couldn't stop seeing them wrapped up in each other. 
At the end of class, Steve walked out quickly, the way he always did. Robin wondered if he always went to smoke behind the gym and that was why he ran away so fast. 
Tammy whirled to Robin, squealing, her face lit up in a beautiful smile. 
“Robin! Did you see that!”
Tammy hadn’t started a conversation with Robin in two weeks. Robin managed a real smile in the face of Tammy’s happiness. 
“I did,” she said. 
“I think he likes me,” Tammy said, almost shy, playing with the bracelets on her wrist. 
“Yeah,” Robin said, ignoring the sinking feeling in her gut. “I think so too.”
***
The rumors at band practice told Robin that Steve was still flirting with other girls. He seemed particularly interested in Nancy Wheeler, who was a priss and a nerd but who was pretty and definitely his type. He seemed to be slowly wearing her down. 
It made Robin furious. So Steve Harrington had a crush on Nancy Wheeler, fine, that made sense. But if he really liked her, and the rumors said he was absolutely head-over-heels, then what was he doing playing with Tammy and Robin? What the fuck was he up to?
***
A week later, Steve didn’t run out of Click’s class at the first sound of the bell. Instead he turned to Tammy and Robin and said, “I’m having a party at my house tonight. You’re both invited.”
“I’ll think about it,” Tammy said, smiling like this was a game. It was. They all knew Tammy would be going to see Steve and she was just trying to play it cool. 
“Cool,” Steve said. He met Tammy’s eyes, then Robin's. “I’ll see you there.”
Tammy waited until he walked away, then did a little shimmy of excitement. It was kind of lame, but also hopelessly endearing. Robin liked when Tammy didn’t try to act cool around her. 
“You’re going?” Robin asked dully. 
“Of course I’m going!” Tammy said. “This is going to be so much fun! You’re coming, right?”
“Yeah,” Robin said, her mouth running before her brain could catch up with it. Tammy wanted her there. What else could she do? “I’ll be there.”
***
Robin got her dad to drop her off at the party. She was willing to bet she was the only teenager being dropped off by their dad, but her parents weren’t the type to be upset about her going out and they trusted her to drink responsibly. Plus, Robin couldn’t drive, so she didn’t know how else she was supposed to get there. 
By the time she arrived, the party was already in full swing. Music came from inside the house and a few people spilled out into the yard. 
Robin headed inside, dodging around a few couples making out against the hallway walls. Tammy was probably here already, right? Robin passed through the kitchen, filling a red solo cup with a tiny amount of vodka and a lot of coke. Jason Carver was there, flirting with Chrissy Cunningham, who was blushing at the attention. 
Robin slipped into the living room and that was where she found Tammy. She was standing against a wall, surrounded by Olivia, Melissa, and Karen. Tammy was holding a red solo cup and staring out at the other end of the living room. 
Robin followed her gave to Steve, who was talking to… Eddie Munson? Robin watched with her jaw slack until Steve came away with a grin and a joint between his fingers. 
That made sense, actually. Of course the only reason Steve Harrington would ever speak to Eddie Munson would be to buy drugs.
Robin went up to Tammy, hovering at the edge of the group as she said “hi.”
“Hey,” Tammy said, giving her a distracted smile. 
“I like your dress,” Robin said. She wanted to say that Tammy looked good, but that wasn’t a safe compliment. 
“Thanks,” Tammy said. “I got it in Indy.”
“It’s cute,” Robin said. It was — pink and ruffled at the edges and unlike anything anyone else was wearing. Something that screamed Tammy Thompson. 
The music went quiet for a moment, and Robin spun around, trying to figure out why. Carol Perkins was standing by the speakers. 
“Let’s play a game!” she said, blowing a bubble with her gum like the picture of teenage insouciance. “Truth or dare.”
She sat on the ground, Tommy Hagan and Steve Harrington sitting beside her. A few more jocks joined — Jason and Andy from the basketball team, Chrissy and Fiona from the cheerleading squad. Heather Holloway and Patrick and Brenda. 
“We have to join!” Tammy said. She grabbed Robin’s hand and dragged her over to the circle.
Robin complied in a daze. Tammy was holding her hand. Tammy’s hand was soft and warm and not sweaty at all and Robin could die happy, Tammy’s hand in hers. 
Tammy released her as soon as they got to the circle and Robin felt suddenly bereft, taking a seat mechanically beside her. Melissa, Karen, and Olivia sat on Tammy’s other side. 
Steve Harrington was looking in her direction, eyebrows up, and Robin scowled at him. Steve smiled, hands up like he was saying don’t shoot, and Carol noticed and shot Robin a glare. 
“Tommy,” Steve said. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Tommy said. 
Steve grinned. “I dare you to let Carol take a body shot off you.”
Tommy scrunched up his face. “Don’t you mean I should take a shot off her?”
Steve blinked, absolutely nothing behind his eyes. “What do you mean?”
So Tommy lay down and balanced a shot glass on his stomach, so low it was practically on his hips, and Carol grabbed it with her mouth, tipping her head back to drink. Robin didn’t like Carol at all, but she had to admit there was something attractive about it, about the long line of Carol’s throat as she drank the shot and the dainty, self-satisfied way she wiped her mouth afterward. 
From there, they kept going around the circle. 
Heather Holloway gave Andy a lap dance. Fiona admitted to having done mushrooms. Jason Carver was dared to kiss the prettiest girl in the circle, which made him turn to Chrissy Cunningham and say “A good girl like you deserves better than some drunken kiss during truth or dare. What do you say I take you out to dinner tomorrow and then give you a kiss on your front porch at the end of the night?”
Chrissy’s smile was disarmingly wide. “Yeah,” she said, nodding. “That sounds nice.”
“It’s a date,” Jason said. A few of the boys hollered and whooped, patting Jason on the back and shaking him a little. Jason looked bashful, hiding a smile behind a sip of his drink. 
“Finally!” Carol Perkins said. She turned to Chrissy. “He’s been pining over you since last year and it took him this long to work up the guts to ask you out.”
Jason screeched at Carol, who ignored him and winked at a pleased-looking Chrissy. Robin was hit with the sudden realization that Carol Perkins could be nice, when she wanted to be. 
Melissa got dared to swap clothes with Patrick, Karen revealed she’d shoplifted a pair of earrings once, and Olivia admitted to having made out with a boy in the school janitor’s closet. 
Then it was Tammy’s turn. 
“Truth or dare?” 
“Dare,” Tammy said, something brave in her eyes. 
A few of the girls conferred together — Carol and Heather and Fiona — before turning to Tammy with smiles on their faces. “We dare you to shotgun with Steve.”
Tammy’s eyes went wide. Robin didn’t think Tammy was the type to smoke weed, but Tammy pressed a confident smile onto her face. Maybe she didn’t want to back down from a dare. Maybe she just wanted a chance to press her mouth against Steve Harrington’s. 
Steve looked at her from all the way across the circle — if he, Tommy, and Carol were the North Pole, Tammy and Robin were the South, the antipodal point — and raised the joint questioningly. 
“Okay,” Tammy said. 
Steve took a drag off the joint and crawled across the circle. Tammy met him in the middle and he was gentle as he used one hand to tip her chin up, pressing his lips against hers and exhaling. Robin could only really see the back of Tammy’s head, but she was hit by a burning jealousy at the way Steve so casually touched her. 
It felt like it had been years since Tammy had held her hand. 
Tammy sat back beside Robin, a pleased little smile on her face. 
“Band kid,” Carol said, smiling meanly. “Truth or dare.”
Robin shuffled uncomfortably. So far all the dares had involved some kind of sexual display with the opposite sex and Robin did not want to kiss a boy or give him a lap dance. But she also had a lot of secrets she didn’t really feel like sharing. 
She should pick truth, right? Worst come to worst, she could just lie. It’s not like any of these people would ever know — none of them really knew her. 
“Truth,” Robin said. 
Chrissy started to say something, but Carol spoke over her. “Who was your first kiss?”
Robin’s cheeks flamed. Carol was doing this on purpose. 
“I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” Robin said, trying to sound casual. It wasn’t that unusual, at least in the circles she ran with. 
But Carol reacted with extreme shock, her eyes going wide, her mouth dropping open. “Ever? That’s so sad!”
“Not really,” Robin said. Everyone was staring at her. She’d spent months trying to fly under the radar, and now they were all watching her and it was just as terrible as she’d thought it would be.
Carol kept going. “But why haven’t you kissed anyone? Aren’t there any boys you like?”
It would have been fine if Carol hadn’t paused a little, put more emphasis on the word boys. But Carol knew what she was doing, insinuating exactly what she had when she’d stood with Steve by Robin’s locker. 
Everyone in the circle was staring at Robin. Jason Carver looked disgusted. Tammy pulled back a bit from Robin’s side. 
Robin felt like she was going to throw up.
Then Steve Harrington scoffed. All eyes moved to him, to see what the King was going to say. Steve was relaxed, weight back on one hand, legs kicked out in front of him. “Not everyone is a slut, Carol.”
The like you went unspoken, but Robin saw it land. Carol’s face scrunched up with real hurt for a second, like she wasn’t sure why Steve was attacking her. 
Tommy, sitting between them, gave Steve a what the fuck look as he pulled Carol into his side. 
Steve either didn’t see any of this or pretended not to. He turned to Patrick, sitting next to Robin on the opposite side as Tammy, and said “truth or dare?”
Robin relaxed. It was over, right? They weren’t looking at her anymore?
She glanced around the circle and it seemed like everyone had moved on. A sneaky glance at Tammy showed that she wasn’t sitting as close to Robin as before, but she also wasn’t looking particularly repulsed. Maybe she had just forgotten to move back again. 
Robin didn’t really believe it. 
She tried to calm her racing heart as the next few people went. But when it was Steve Harrington’s turn, she couldn’t help but tune in. 
“Steve,” Tommy Hagan said. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Steve said, like every teenage jock ever. 
Carol leaned over and whispered in Tommy’s ear and Tommy grinned. “I dare you to kiss Robin Buckley.”
Robin’s blood turned to ice. Once again, all heads in the circle swiveled to her. 
Robin didn’t want to kiss Steve Harrington. She had been saving her first kiss because she wanted it to be special. She could have pretended to like a boy, to kiss a boy, to date a boy. But she had wanted to save all her firsts for a girl — to have them be real and meaningful instead of a stupid farce. 
She didn’t have a choice though. Not after what Carol had implied earlier. If Robin didn’t kiss Steve, she would practically be confirming that she was a lesbian. 
Robin looked to Carol, who was smirking at her. 
“Yeah,” Robin said shakily. “Okay.”
Steve was watching her intently, something indecipherable in his eyes. He got to his feet and crossed the circle, kneeling down in front of her. 
Robin didn’t think she’d ever been this close to a boy. He smelled like hairspray and beer, and his eyes were brown and serious as she watched her. 
He gave her the same friendly smile he’d been giving her all semester, then leaned in to whisper in her ear. His breath was uncomfortably hot on her skin as he said, “trust me.”
Then he pulled back and squared his shoulders, cocky and unapologetic about it. He smirked around the circle, a boy proud to be showing off that he was kissing a pretty girl. 
Robin was going to throw up. Her heart was pounding and she was going to have to kiss a boy and Steve had been playing games with her all semester. 
Robin closed her eyes, preparing for the kiss and also trying to hide the hot tears she could feel building up. 
She jumped a bit when Steve’s hands landed on her face. He wasn’t holding her jaw delicately like he’d done to Tammy. Both of Steve’s giant palms where splayed across her cheeks, one of them half caught in her hair, dragging it in front of her face. Great. Her first kiss was going to taste like hair and that wasn’t even going to be the worst part of it. 
Robin kept her eyes screwed shut as Steve’s skin pressed against her lips and his nose bumped hers and — those weren’t Steve’s lips. 
Steve was close, yes, so close they were sharing the same air. So close that it probably looked like they were kissing. 
But this was a stage kiss. Steve’s thumb was over Robin’s mouth, his lips pressed to one side and hers to the other. 
Robin opened her eyes in shock. She couldn’t really see Steve — he was too close not to be blurry — but his eyes were pressed closed, brown eyelashes fanned over his cheeks. As if this were a real kiss. 
Where had basketball-playing, prom king Steve Harrington even learned what a stage kiss was? This couldn’t be standard practice for the popular kids — they played these games as an excuse to kiss each other, not to fake it.
And more importantly, why was he doing this? Was he that opposed to kissing her? Or had he somehow noticed her reluctance and decided to protect her while allowing both of them to save face?
Steve used his hands to tilt Robin’s head and she followed without resistance. He pressed closer, moving her back, and they still weren’t kissing but it probably looked like they were making out. Like he was into this. Like she was.
Robin closed her eyes. She could figure out the mystery that was Steve Harrington later. Right now, she had to help Steve sell this. 
She raised her hands to Steve’s shoulders, pulling him closer, hoping he wouldn’t misinterpret her sudden ardor as a request for a real kiss. 
He let out a little moan, his nose brushing hers as he tipped his head, and she smiled against his thumb. Holy shit. They were totally faking it and everyone was going to think she was a good enough kisser to make Steve Harrington moan.
After a long moment, Steve pulled back, simultaneously slipping his thumb to the side so it wouldn’t be over her mouth. 
He stayed in her space a second longer, eyes locked with Robin’s. He seemed pleased with himself, or maybe with her shocked expression. 
He licked his lips and Robin copied him automatically. Her lips tasted like beer and smoke but it was from Steve’s hand, not his lips, and that made all the difference. 
Someone wolf-whistled. 
Steve backed away, returning to his seat next to Tommy Hagan. Robin was speechless as the room returned to focus.
Carol looked pissed. Tommy was elbowing Steve, leaning in to tease him. 
“Damn, Harrington,” said some basketball jock Robin didn’t know. “I didn’t know you were into band nerds.”
“That was a hell of a first kiss,” another one said. 
Steve smiled, cocky and pleased and bashful all at once. He was a better actor than Robin had ever given him credit for. 
Tammy nudged Robin, and that’s when Robin realized she was still staring at Steve, dumb with awe. 
As everyone turned to Tommy Hagan, Tammy leaned in and whispered, “it looks like you really enjoyed that kiss.”
She was trying to smile, trying to gently tease like a friend would, but Robin could see the heartbreak in her expression. Robin wished she could tell Tammy that it had all been for show and that she hadn’t actually kissed Steve, but Tammy had pulled away at the accusation that Robin was a lesbian and only been okay touching her again after that performance of a kiss. 
This wasn’t a world where Robin got to have both Steve and Tammy. 
“Yeah,” Robin said, surprised to find she was telling the truth. She was glad she’d been dared to kiss Steve and not any other boy here. There were apparently layers to Steve Harrington, who she’d thought was nothing more than a pretty, empty-headed, girl-obsessed jock. 
She kind of wanted to know more about him. 
She glanced across the circle. Steve was watching Tommy try to do a handstand, until Tommy overbalanced and fell into Steve’s lap, making him yelp. Steve laughed as he leaned over Tommy, asking if he was okay, and Tommy’s eyes lit up in a way Robin recognized. The way she had probably lit up when Tammy had taken her hand. 
In that moment, Robin felt like she understood something about all of them. 
Carol’s frozen smile as she watched her boyfriend beam at Steve. The way Tommy pretended to fumble a bit climbing off Steve’s lap, if only to stay there a second longer. And Steve’s sharp eyes, catching Tommy’s adoration and Carol’s pain. 
“You’re too high, man,” Steve said, waving his joint in a big circle. Giving Tommy cover in case anyone else had noticed what Robin had. 
“Way too high,” Carol agreed, snatching the joint from Steve’s fingers. She took a long drag, then blew the smoke out, passed the joint back to Steve, and curled into Tommy’s side. 
Tommy and Carol looked like the picture of a happy couple and Robin realized it was another type of performance. Had Carol known before she started dating Tommy? Or had she fallen in love with him first, only realizing he liked Steve when it was too late to stop her heart from being broken?
Robin didn’t want to feel sympathy for Carol Perkins, who had tried so hard to ruin Robin’s night. But she pitied her a little, watching her playact at being happy and realizing that they were all doing it. All these stupid popular kids were just pretending to be shiny, happy people and the rest of the school was buying it, standing too far away to see the imperfections that would have been obvious up close.
Steve met Robin’s eyes across the circle, bringing the joint to his lips. His eyes were perfectly clear, pupils small, not like someone who had been smoking at all. Another slight of hand, like the stage kiss. 
“I think he likes you back,” Tammy said. 
Robin looked at Tammy, who was faking a smile just like the rest of the popular kids. Why hadn’t Robin seen it before? Tammy was brave and Tammy was kind, but she hid those parts of herself, trying to seem just as cookie-cutter perfect as the rest of the people in this circle. 
Robin didn’t want cookie-cutter perfect. She wanted real. 
She still didn’t want to break Tammy’s heart, so she said something she didn’t really believe about Steve. Not anymore.
“Maybe,” Robin said. “But like you said, he’s just a good time. He’ll be over me in two weeks.”
***
On Monday, Robin found Steve at his locker after school. 
His eyes went wide as she came up to him and he smiled at her. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Robin said. She kicked the toes of her converse together. She’d spent all of yesterday doodling on them while watching tv. Maybe it was stupid, given how close Carol had come to outing her, but Robin was feeling a little bulletproof. She’d written I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on your sister in pen on the whites of her shoes. 
Steve looked down at her feet and smiled. “Nice artwork.”
Robin froze, even though there was no way Steve could read her shoes while standing up. “Thanks,” she said stiffly. “I thought they could use some, uh, personality?”
“I like them better this way,” Steve said. 
Robin cleared her throat. “Do you, uh, wanna get milkshakes? You’re paying, of course.”
Steve’s eyes lit up. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “I’ll buy you however many milkshakes you want.”
Robin rolled her eyes. “Do girls really fall for this desperate act?”
“I’m much cooler around girls I’m interested in,” Steve said. Robin believed him this time. He’d put his thumb over her mouth and then swaggered like he’d kissed her and she trusted him in a way she hadn’t before. 
She was dying to know why he’d done it.
“So it’s just your friends that you bribe into liking you,” Robin teased. 
“Yeah,” Steve said, shameless. “Usually more with free rides and arcade money, but I’ve used ice cream before.”
“You’re so weird,” Robin blurted out. Then she froze. It was practically social suicide to call Steve Harrington weird. 
But Steve didn’t get mad. He just laughed and said “you have no idea.”
“Yo, Harrington,” called a  basketball player walking down the hall. “Hurry up, you’ll be late for practice.”
“I’m not going today!” Steve called back. “I’m sick.” He gave a very unconvincing cough. 
The basketball player rolled his eyes. “Lovesick, maybe.”
Steve scowled playfully. “Fuck off, man.”
“I’ll tell Coach you’re too pussy-whipped to play,” the basketball player said. 
“Don’t you dare!” Steve called. Robin expected him to sound more offended at being called pussy-whipped. No teenage boy wanted to be told he would do anything a girl told him to do, even in exchange for sex. And Steve was definitely not getting sex. But the insult rolled off Steve like water off a duck’s back. “Tell him I have the flu.”
“Sure, sure, whatever.” The boy rolled his eyes as he disappeared around the corner. 
Steve closed his locker. “Ready to go?”
“You’re not going to basketball?” 
“No,” Steve said. “We’re getting milkshakes. I’m not giving up a chance to make Robin Buckley my best friend.”
“Aren’t you, like, first chair?” Robin said. She watched a lot of basketball games by virtue of being in band, she knew it was called starting line. But she enjoyed seeing Steve’s face scrunch up at her words.
Steve groaned. “God, that is annoying. Remind me to stop calling Dustin’s campaigns his nerd practices.”
“Who’s Dustin and what are campaigns?”
“A kid I babysit, and a Dungeons and Dragons game.”
Robin blinked. “Dungeons and Dragons? That Hellfire game?”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “He’s not in high school yet, so he doesn’t play with Eddie as his DM, but I’m sure he’ll join in a few years.”
DM? Was that some Hellfire term?
Apparently the new Steve Harrington knew the terms to nerd games. He stage-kissed lesbians at parties and thought it was worth skipping basketball practice for a chance to be Robin’s friend.
“Who are you?” Robin asked. “And what have you done with Steve?”
“I’m a time traveller from the future,” Steve said. 
Robin laughed. What a nerd. “No, really.”
Steve started walking backwards down the hallway, keys swinging around his fingers. “I’ll tell you over milkshakes.”
He held a hand out to her, beckoning, a hopeful smile on his face, and it didn’t feel like a joke anymore. Robin had no clue why, but Steve Harrington really wanted to be her friend. 
Robin peeled herself off the lockers and took Steve’s hand, their fingers twining together, letting him pull her outside. 
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hannie-dul-set · 1 year ago
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CRASH & BURN.
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p — PARK SUNGHOON x gn! reader. g — fluff, humor. w — swearing, one absolutely horrendous dad joke, the secondhand embarrassment is even worse this time i'm not sorry at all, the rest of the en-kids are also losers. 1.3k words.
note — listen, who am i to deny the public from their needs and wants? i have no idea how rizzless hoon became such a hit, but ask and you shall receive. i'm sure this won't be the last you'll see of this loser. PART ONE. if you enjoy loser! hoon, you might also enjoy this other series of mine.
also tagging those who were asking for a part two hope u all don't mind! — @gyulune @jngwnlvs @snowysab @miercerise @karinasswifee @cerealdreamwriter @dinonuguaegi @tyongff-ff
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for the past five days, you have been routinely returning to the skatepark at the same time without fail. this has obviously attracted questions from your friends considering the first time you tried out a longboard, you crashed and scraped and bruised your chin within seconds, but you can’t exactly tell them the truth about your endeavor— that you’ve been trying to catch a glimpse of mr. kuromi bandaid with the rollerblades again, and being left disappointed every single time.
he hasn’t shown up. not even once.
it’s day five, and there’s still no sign of him nor his lollipop. it’s day five, and you’re just about to give up until you spot from your peripheral a familiar group of boys that scared the shit out of you the other day— except this time, they aren’t staring at you like maniacs, and they seem to be one person less.
“are you fucking stupid?” you overhear as you hesitantly approach their circle, cautious steps because they’re still as intimidating as you can remember. they all look so serious, two individuals glaring at each other while the rest simply watch, both unconcerned and amused. “oh yeah? you really think you can beat me? wanna duke it out right now, dickwad?”
cold sweat breaks out and you freeze in your tracks, expecting them to spiral into a fist fight.
“my dragonite will sweep your fucking team, loser.”
“your dragonbitch doesn’t stand a chance against my tyranitar!”
nevermind. you really shouldn’t be so quick to judge them again.
you regain the bounce in your step and race up before they could metaphorically kick each other's asses.
“hi!” 
you flinch when the six heads suddenly snap towards you. your smile twitches, discomfort  lasering into your skin from the half a dozen set of narrowed eyes leering at you so intently and so intensely. “who are you?” the one previously bragging about his dragonite asks.
“dumbass.” another one smacks the former on the backside of his skull. “it’s shoelaces.”
the nickname sets a few lightbulbs off, and a pair breaks away from their violent staring at you to give each other knowing glances. “oh, shit!” this time it’s mr. tyranitar who exclaims. “right. the dude hoon absolutely decimated himself in front of. poor guy. he’s still going through the five stages of grief.”
hoon must mean sunghoon. you want to open your mouth and present your business about the missing individual, but it’s not so easy to butt in when they’re busy conversing amongst themselves.
“what do they want?” 
“how should i know? i’m not them?” 
“no fucking shit. but what do you think they want?”
“maybe it’s about hoon?”
“no way. that guy’s done for.”
“hey, don’t be too harsh on him! he’s grieving!”
“what if it’s because we‘re being too loud—”
“what if they’re here to have a pokemon batt—”
“you do realize they can hear you, right?” 
light-haired guy is right. you can very much hear them, and they’ve all finally quieted down, slowly turning their heads to you once more but with a dampened intensity this time. they’re waiting for you to speak. you can’t believe you thought they were scary. you can’t believe you were intimidated by a group of nerds.
“sorry for the intrusion,” you smile, pressing your palms together. “i noticed one of your friends hasn’t been coming around lately. is he okay?”
a cough. a nudge. a silent conversation between the six pairs of eyes. “he’s been sick these past few days,” dragonite owner finally says. “sickeningly unbearab— ow!” 
your smile disappears. “oh no.” he’s sick? he already didn’t seem that strong when you met him the other day, collapsing into the ground and all.
“i think you can help him get better— ouch! jungwon, what the fuck?” one of them gets hit again. you’re sure it’s been the same guy hitting the rest of them since earlier.
“why are you asking about him?”
the nicest looking one squeezes out of their group while asking his earnest question, fishing out the answer from you with bright, curious eyes. “ah,” you sound out. “i just wanted to tell him that i also think his shoelaces are really cool.”
they stare at you, then stare at each other. and then someone spews out, “is that a new pick-up line, or some shit?” before getting hit again, and the light-haired guy comes forward to block the squabble happening behind him, and to tell you that they’ll be dragging their friend tomorrow at the same time (isn’t he supposed to be sick?) so you can compliment his shoelaces in person(?), and that they are looking forward to welcoming you to their family (whatever the fuck that means).
as promised, they do drag the sick man into the skatepark— literally dragging him because the guy who introduced himself yesterday as jake is pulling him forward by the sleeve while jungwon pushes him from behind as the wheels of his roller skates make sure that sunghoon keeps on moving. he looks like he’s ready to move on into the afterlife. your eyes light up when they drag him closer.
“c’mon, hyung! just a little bit more— a liiiiittle bit—
“i told you, i’m never coming back here again!“ you hear him groan, attempting to break away from his escort team. “never ever. never again. this is is where half of my dignity is buried. my pride. my shame. my—”
and then he freezes.
sunghoon gets frozen by an invisible force when your eyes meet, frozen but his cheeks are set ablaze. his friends did a great job in escorting him to you, encasing him and in consequence his view of his surroundings until you’re within an arm’s reach so he doesnt run away. the heat from his face thaws him back into movement, panicked and angry expressions sent to his friends and they all look pretty stupid trying to talk with just their eyebrows, but it’s cute nonetheless.
“hey!” you finally chipper in, causing sunghoon to freeze once more, creaking to meet your gaze. 
“h—hello. hi.”
sunghoon’s greeting comes out as a choke. jake and jungwon send each other signals before hurling the poor boy at you.
it’s like he’s suddenly forgotten how to skate. he can’t control his muscles, sliding over the short path at a dangerous speed that mimics his racing heart and oh shit— oh shit, oh shit. how does he stop again? how does he make a turn? how does he not fucking crash into you like a meteor being sucked into the earth’s orbit?
“oh!”
like all of his (very limited) interactions with you, sunghoon crashes and burns. it’s inevitable. but this time, he crashes and burns into you. you’re both on the concrete and his hand feels like it got crushed between the hard ground and the back of your head, but that pain quickly subsides into a numbing buzz, pumping his arteries with nectar, burning his veins with gasoline, because holy crap—
“close.”
“you’re right, that was a close call,” you breathe out. “i could’ve cracked my skull open.”
“i— i mean, close, you’re— you’re too close.”
does he realize that you can’t exactly move underneath him? he probably doesn’t, not when you can practically see the smoke emitting from his head and the panicked swirl in his eyes and you can’t help but laugh. “ah, sorry.” that was a mistake. sunghoon’s face flushes warmer and like a hammer to his skull, the realization hits and he and slowly pries himself off of you.
“sorry—”
“it’s fine.” you sit up and brush the dust off your clothes, stretching out your legs as you nudge yourself closer to him on the ground. “your friends told me you’ve been sick. are you feeling better now?”
“huh?” 
you’re not sure why he’s confused, but he looks very confused before turning his gaze to his friends. you find jay snapping out a thumbs up and sunoo’s stern face somehow reading don’t fucking blow it. he turns back to you with a lot more sweat on his neck than prior. “oh, yeah i was sick, i was so sick, ahaha—” he stammers. “a—anyway, what’s up?”
“i just wanted to see you again. it’s not everyday that i get a compliment on my shoelaces, you know?” you smile. “what about today? aren’t they prettier than the last ones?”
you wiggle your shoes to show off, laced in a complicated pattern that you’ve been practicing for the past five days, and you expect to receive another compliment for it, but sunghoon is oddly quiet. 
he’s quiet. you’re sure you chose a cool pair of shoes this morning. you’re about to be disappointed, until you notice that he’s actually thinking. he’s thinking very hard he’s thinking of something, and that something comes out of his mouth in the form of a badly timed pun.
“...what about...toe-day...”
park sunghoon only knows how to crash and burn. all his friends are a witness to that. they’re a witness to this events that transpired this afternoon, but what they didn’t expect is for you to have an affinity for disasters. you’re laughing at his dumb joke. you’re actually laughing. they’ve been shitting on sunghoon for being hopeless, but maybe there’s something wrong with you, too.
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CRASH & BURN.
© hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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1K notes · View notes
valwrote · 11 months ago
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I had this set up after seeing how Satoru wears frigfing 250,000 yen shirts- wtf?
synopsis : Gojo Satoru. Someone who is filthy rich with a partner that bargains and demands discounts on every thing. (The inner Asian mom is showing itself.)
additonally: a birthday surprise in the end where yuuji accidentally pops a party popper on satoru's face + lovesick satoru.
a/n : happy late birthday to our favourite sweet consuming demon and dimples guy. ♡
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The tension in the room was palpatating.
Satoru watched as you had a stare off with the receptionist at the restaurant he had picked for you two's date.
"Hm...so you are telling me that for a table of two, you guys take ¥ 60,000 per person?" You stared at the guy who assigned seats to the visitors, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.
"Yes ma'am, that's right." The man politely nodded despite your rather hostile attitude.
"But you say that kids under 5 eat for free?" You mused, tone softening a bit.
"Yes, that is correct." The receptionist nodded at you with a kind smile.
Silence.
"So you see Satoru right here is actually just 4 years old-" you started.
"Yes, I am- wait what!?" Satoru did a double take and stared at you with his jaw dropped.
Yeah, that's how his life was. Full of life, comedy and fundamentals of bargaining as you would rightfully call it. The number of incidents of you arguing with anyone and everyone for a discount never failed to entertain him.
For example : –
Satoru watched you in awe as you talk- no, argued with a fruit seller over the ridiculous prices.
"I can't believe this! ¥7500 (50 USD) for a single watermelon? What, is this watermelon made of gold or something?" You baffled at the price. That was seriously ridiculous.
"Miss, these are the best of their kind! They won't disappoint." The vendor defended, trying to list out the pros of the fruit.
"Sweets, you should just get it. ¥7500 is nothi-" Satoru was cut off by your stern look.
"Nothing!? That price is just unreasonable! I will not pay anymore than ¥6000." You huffed, crossing your arms in disapproval.
"Haha- miss if I started seeling things for THAT low, I will end up going bankrupt.. how about ¥7200?" The vendor nervously chuckled, not wanting to make you more angry. He also glanced at Satoru, hoping he would save him.
Satoru simply sighed. Messing with you right now would earn him a one way ticket to heaven.
"¥6800 and not a single more."
"...fine." the vendor grumbled, handing the fruit over to you.
You smiled triumphantly and took the watermelon before merrily walking off. Satoru stared at you with an amused expression while trailing you.
Truth be told, Satoru didn't care about bargaining. If he saw something he wanted, he could buy without sparing a glance on the price tag.
However seeing you bargain your way through life was the most amusing thing to him. He had both his heart and his credit card surrendered to you, yet you were adamant on not spending any more than necessary.
He still remembers the day you came home with a beaming smile on your face.
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"Satoru guess what!" You chimed, seemingly proud at what you had done.
"What is it sweets?" He looked up from whatever he was doing.
"I got so many clothes for such good price. Hehe those discount vouchers are a gift of God, I tell you!" You grinned and he just laughed.
"Seriously? How much did you save this time?" He chuckled, curious as to how much you saved.
"Well, the salesman was about to tell me the exorbitant price but I whipped out the discount vouchers and got 40% off." You smugly smiled, probably impressed with your own self.
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However, when it came to matters such as his birthday...
"Woah, what is this?" Satoru marveled at the sight of the decorations. Everyone was here. Nanami, Shoko, Yaga, the first and second years and you.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" All of you yelled in unison. Yuuji however, was struggling to open up the confetti popper and ended up shaking it so hard that it popped right on Satoru's face.
The man of the hour had confetti, both in his mouth and all over his face. Everyone laughed and some even snagged some pictures.
Satoru stood still for a second before his palm reached up to remove his blindfold which surprise surprise! Also got confetti stuck in it.
"Thanks- Yuuji." He said, blowing confetti out of his mouth, before smiling and chuckling at Yuuji.
Everyone later indulged in talking, eating and hanging out. The atmosphere was uplifting and heart swelling to see all your close ones enjoying themselves.
"So, how much discount did you get yourself on all this preparation?" You heard Satoru ask you. He was smiling brightly, so much so that his blue hues had smile line creases from his bright smile. You could even see his dimples.
Man, God was playing favourites while creating Satoru, that's for sure. Who knew the strongest sorcerer was deep inside just a gentle soul that needed love like everyone else?
"None." You smiled back at him
"Why so?" He asked, awaiting an answer.
"It's your birthday, silly. Price doesn't matter, you do." You booped his nose with you finger. You could see his ears turn red.
Satoru hated you. He hated how you would say such endearing this that would makes a puddle of mess from blushing. Just kidding, he loved you, with all his heart.
"Still..I could've saved so much money." You whined, earning a chuckle from him.
Nevermind. You never changed. He wasn't complaining though.
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gosh- me including so many people are in love with this guy. I wanna hold him in my palms.
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happy birthday satoru. You are so skrunkly
©definitelysel
not proof read. I wrote it on a whim.
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lovelyhan · 2 years ago
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— inflection point ⟢
pairing: jeonghan x reader x seungcheol
summary: after reconciling with your first love, all seems well in your relationship thus far. but when you notice jeonghan distancing himself from you and seungcheol, you're determined to get to the bottom of it.
word count: 7.6k words
tags: established relationship, angst, smut
warnings: graphic sexual content (minors dni!!)
tags: @miko1ly - @misssugarlips - @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan - @amixoferrthang - @sysymei (sorry if i missed anyone!)
notes: give it up for part three! thank you so much for showing this series so much love! i hope you like how it all ends hehe :3c
additional notes: the smut is much filthier than usual, so i'm going to put the tags accordingly under the cut.
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smut tags: morning sex, cockwarming, pet names (angel, baby, sweetheart, etc.), spitroasting, manhandling, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare
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part one - part two - part three | masterlist
“Me and Hannie?”
From where he’s seated across from you in this hole-in-the-wall restaurant that you dragged him into, Seungcheol nods before sticking a french fry into his mouth. “You never really told me how it all started.”
You frown. “I did.”
“Yeah, but ‘it was just your everyday office romance’ doesn’t really give me a lot to work with here, princess.”
You’re about to tell him to quit being a smartass when someone—who definitely isn’t the waitress that was mooning over your boyfriend when she took your orders—comes up to your table with a shy smile. It’s a boy that’s probably fresh out of high school, stammering with his words as he hands Seungcheol a pen and napkin. He immediately gets the gist.
“I keep forgetting that you’re a literal celebrity now,” you chuckle, sipping on your milkshake with a teasing look as the kid happily walks away with his idol’s autograph. “Star football player, Choi Seungcheol, spotted in a local diner with some girl.”
“Hey, you’re not just some girl.” He pouts. “You’re the love of my life.”
Past that strong personality of his, you tend to forget that Seungcheol is really just a big baby inside a buff man’s body. “So is Jeonghan, silly.”
“Okay, one of the loves of my life, then,” he grumbles. “Anyway, don’t think I already let you off the hook. Are you going to tell me how exactly you and Han wound up together or am I going to have to invite Soonyoung and Jihoon to dinner just to procure the details?”
That earns him a scowl. “Do you seriously think my best friends are just going to betray me like that?” 
Seungcheol shrugs. “You’re the one who said that Soonyoung will never pass up on the opportunity to gossip, and how Jihoon keeps a cool head about stuff at first, only to play devil’s advocate the longer the conversation progresses.”
Damn it. You hate how this guy is so attuned to every single thing in your life—your best friends’ flaws and weaknesses included. 
“Fine, fine,” you sigh before munching on the last bite of your burger. “Do you remember that time a few months ago when you had this really bad argument with Jeonghan in the office?”
Seungcheol raises his eyebrow. “You saw that?”
“No, Joshua just shared some of the details over lunch the day after,” you explain. “If I actually bore witness to it firsthand and realized you’re the one who’s been giving my hotter-than-hell boss more problems than he already has, I would’ve castrated you on the spot.”
He smirks. “Right. You’ve been crushing on him for…how many years?”
You roll your eyes at his attempt at gloating. “Since the day I first laid my eyes on him. Now focus, Cheol. Do you remember that day?”
“Of course I remember.”
“Then, I’ll have you know that right after Joshua and I had lunch, Jeonghan asked me to come up to his office to talk about something important.” 
Seungcheol nods. “Okay.”
“I thought it was about the report I gave him earlier that day, but…” You find your voice trailing off at the memory of Jeonghan—calm, sophisticated Yoon Jeonghan—forgoing his usual façade of level-headedness for something more…vulnerable. 
“He asked me if loving each other was enough to sustain a relationship. If it’s still worth continuing even if it always seems like something’s still missing no matter how much either of the people involved compromised.” 
You stare at Seungcheol to gauge his reaction, but he’s simply sitting there, eating the rest of his food in contemplative silence with an unreadable look. 
Hesitantly, you continue, “I didn’t…know who it was that made him ask all those questions, but even if I did, my answer would’ve been the same.”
“That is?”
You’re a little startled by the sudden switch-up in his expressions. One moment he’s indecipherable, and now he’s leaning forward on the table, as if wholly expectant of your response. You let out a quiet laugh, mirroring his actions before pressing a soft kiss on his nose. This considerably surprises Seungcheol, but he doesn’t flinch away regardless.
“If something’s missing, why don’t the two of you try looking for it?” you murmur. “Literally the only piece of advice I gave him, and it’s vague as hell. That came back to bite me in the ass a few weeks later, though, because—”
“He suddenly asked you to be our girlfriend?” Seungcheol supplies, reaching for your hand on the table before kissing the top of your hand with a dimpled smile. “Kind of a good call if you ask me. Although, now that you made me realize it…”
“Han totally did that because he can’t put up with me anymore, can he?” 
You snort out loud at his wild assumption. This guy, seriously…
“Quit being an idiot, Cheol. You think Hannie is that one-dimensional? That he thinks of you as some sort of kid that he has trouble dealing with alone?” 
“You’ll be surprised at how many times I’ve had to sleep on the couch because of my…childish tendencies.”
You sigh. Can’t exactly argue with him on that.
“Why’d you ask in the first place anyway?” you wonder. “This never really came up before.”
Seungcheol moves to rest his back against his seat, opening his mouth as if to answer—only to be interrupted by the sound of both of your phones chiming with text notifications. You’re the first to fish yours out, unlocking it to see that Jeonghan sent a message to your little groupchat with Seungcheol.
Hannie [8:22 P.M.]: hi, sorry. i might not be able to make it :( 
Hannie [8:22 P.M.]: meeting’s running late, i'll just grab dinner with shua
Me [8:23 P.M.]: it’s alright. take care on the way back home <3 ily
Hannie [8:25 P.M.]: i love you, too, baby
Your gaze flickers over to Seungcheol when you realize he hasn’t responded to Jeonghan’s update despite the read receipts. The fact that he probably won’t solidifies itself when he eventually turns his phone, screen-down on the table before flashing you a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“You want a refill on that milkshake?”
...
About two weeks after that odd dinner date with Seungcheol, you’re waiting eagerly for Jeonghan to come home from work as you made a mess in their kitchen. 
While you normally went home together with your boss-turned-boyfriend, he’s once again forced to stay behind since the business deal he’s been stressing about for a better part of the year is finally at its final stages today. Just a few more adjustments to the contract he’s setting up, and he’s home free.
On the drive to the grocery store, he informed you and Seungcheol that the agreements have finally been formalized on paper, and that he can finally get the break he deserves. Both of you were both proud of and happy for him, of course. And to commemorate that, you decided to rope Seungcheol into cooking dinner for Jeonghan from scratch.
Before you came into the picture, he and Jeonghan mostly relied on food delivery apps, much to your horror. Seungcheol is a pretty decent cook, but the man is lazier than a sloth when it comes to making food at home. Jeonghan, on the other hand, cannot be left alone in the kitchen without there being any sort of fire hazard.
You genuinely wonder how they survived all this time.
“And done,” you sigh, taking off your oven mitts once you’ve taken the lasagna out of the oven. “How’s the chicken going, Cheol? Haven’t burned it, have you?”
“I can do a decent job if I want to, you know,” he grumbles as he clicks his tongs together as if to prove a point. “See? It’s golden brown, just how Han likes it.”
You giggle before prancing behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist before pressing your cheek into his back. “That’s why I’m sure he is going to be really happy once he gets home.”
Once Seungcheol is done frying enough chicken strips as a side dish for the pasta recipe you looked up on a whim, you set the table in anticipation of Jeonghan’s arrival. Fancy tableware, a bottle of champagne, and—
By some stroke of luck, the man of the hour arrives while you’re in the middle of all the preparations—making you squeak with surprise before practically tackling him at the entrance.
“Congratulations, Hannie,” you coo, trapping him in a tight embrace before he can even set down his suitcase. “Joshua already spilled the details in the team groupchat. Don’t even try to act all humble.”
“I won’t, I won’t,” he laughs, patting your head affectionately. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“Welcome back.”
The two of you snap your heads in the direction of Seungcheol’s voice, where he emerges from the kitchen with two glasses of champagne in his hands. A wide smile roots itself onto your face when he hands the two of you one each. 
“Thank you, Cheol,” Jeonghan sighs with a small smile before taking a small sip. 
“Come on,” you say, tugging his arm with your free hand. “We prepared a really nice surprise for you!”
But to your confusion, Jeonghan resists your grip where he would normally relent, feet rooted in place as he flashes you an apologetic smile. You flash him a puzzled look.
“Sorry, love, I’m a bit…tired today,” he reasons. “You and Cheol made dinner, didn’t you? Thank you for going out of your way, but I should really head to bed before this migraine kills me.”
“But, won’t you feel better if you get some food in you?” You pout, glancing at Seungcheol for back-up. 
“I already ate on the way here, don’t worry,” Jeonghan reassures, leaning to kiss your forehead before handing the champagne glass back to Seungcheol. “That one’s aged pretty well. But I liked the bottle Mingyu gave us for our anniversary last year better.”
With that, Jeonghan has led himself to the bedroom, leaving you and Seungcheol standing there in blatant disbelief.
You turn to your remaining company in a snap. “Is everything alright with him?”
Seungcheol downs the rest of the champagne in one swig before letting out a deep sigh. “My guess is as good as yours.”
You and Seungcheol ruminate in the silence as the gears in your brain start to turn. Did any of you do something that he didn’t like? What could possibly catalyze Jeonghan’s sudden evasiveness?
“...Do you think he knows? About us?” 
“God, no.” Seungcheol shakes his head. “I thought it was our silent agreement to not let him know? And that was back when we quote-unquote hated each other.”
You chew the inside of your cheek from sheer nervousness, eyeing the feast for three that’s laid out on the dining table. 
“What if he already found out? What if he’s giving us the cold shoulder because we didn’t tell him up front?” you ask, hands going clammy with nervousness. 
“No. Stop it. You know Jeonghan isn’t like that,” Seungcheol says with a kind of dismissiveness that discourages you  from pressing the matter further. He even makes a beeline for your awaiting dinner just to get you to drop the topic altogether.
“Let’s eat. Don’t want the food we worked so hard for going cold, now do we?”
You cast one last glance at the hall in which Jeonghan disappeared into before letting out a withering sigh. 
Guess you’ll just leave him some leftover portions in the fridge.
When the weekend comes, so does your monthly get-together with Soonyoung and Jihoon, and like your last visit, all you’re bringing to the table is your stupid boyfriend problems. You’re honestly starting to feel bad for subjecting them to such a tiresome routine, but you know they’re more than happy to help.
“What do you mean you haven’t told Jeonghan?” Soonyoung exclaims with his hands on your shoulders, as if he’s doing everything in his power just to keep himself from throttling you. “I thought we were going to celebrate because you’ve made up with Cheol! Why are we suddenly hearing about a brand new problem?!”
“Uh…sorry?”
Jihoon sighs, flipping through a fashion magazine that’s normally just gathering dust under their coffee table. “Pray tell, why did you guys think it was a good idea to keep the fact that you’re exes from the person who brought you together again?”
You sigh, sinking into the cushions of their sofa the moment Soonyoung lets go of you. “Because we didn’t want to break Hannie’s heart with the news that we actually hate each other?”
“So you chose to break his heart later by keeping up such a stupid charade?” Soonyoung scoffs. “You’re better than this! I know you are! What happened?”
“Seungcheol happened,” Jihoon replies with a shake of his head. “You know how love makes people do crazy things? Yeah.”
“Hey, for the record, I did that for Jeonghan—”
“What? Lie to him?”
“Soonie!”
Your older best friend presses his lips together into a thin line, and you nearly sink to your knees just to beg for his forgiveness. But you know he’s just acting like this because he’s disappointed in you.  Honestly, you are, too.
“Okay, there’s nothing we can really do about it now,” Jihoon sighs. “But you’re bringing this up because you think Jeonghan knows, right? Even if you and Seungcheol haven’t breathed a word about it?”
Soonyoung makes a noise in complaint. “But how can Jeonghan not know? Doesn’t everyone share their dating history to their current partner? Are you sure Seungcheol hasn’t said anything? And…isn’t Jeonghan like an evil person that’s always one step ahead of his opponents?”
Both you and Jihoon look at him like he’s just grown a second head.
“What? That’s how she described him when she lost the mafia game during a Christmas party back then.”
“At this point, I don’t really think it matters if he knows or not,” Jihoon interjects before turning to you with a stern look. “You’ve been with him and Seungcheol for almost three months now. Don’t you think it’s about time both of you came clean about the past anyway?” 
Soonyoung nods. “Yeah! What he said!” 
You puff out your cheeks, once again humbled by your friends’ observations. It’s funny how you claim to be a grown woman who’s learned from her past mistakes, but the fact that you keep making even more kind of revokes that. 
Still, you guess it isn’t too late to tell the truth.
“Hey! Where are you going?” you hear Soonyoung call out from the living room as you bolt to the entrance of their apartment—hastily putting your shoes back on.
“To get the love of my life to forgive me,” you say, before contemplatively adding, “one of the loves of my life.” 
Then, you’re off, telling yourself to just treat them to dinner once you’ve got your boyfriend problems sorted out.
You find it a bit silly, how you nearly forgot how to commute to your boyfriends’ house, given the amount of times the Seungcheol has driven you on the way instead. But you make do anyway, since neither of them are expecting the visit—having told them you’d be spending the weekend at Soonyoung and Jihoon’s. 
There’s no answer when you ring the doorbell, but Seungcheol’s car is parked in the garage right next to Jeonghan’s, so you’re certain that they’re home. You bounce on the balls of your feet for a few moments before ringing it again, anticipation buzzing through your veins.
But when no one comes to open the door for you after five minutes, you decide to rummage through your bag for the spare key they gave you back then—hastily twisting it in the keyhole before letting yourself in.
The lights in the living room are off, and it’s the same case for the dining room. You glance around at the shoe rack near the entrance to confirm whether or not Seungcheol went out for a run. However, when your ears catch the sound of muted conversation at the end of the hall, you suspect that they’re inside the bedroom.
With each step closer, you get a better idea of what they must be talking about. From the earnest tone in Seungcheol’s voice, you figure that it must be serious. 
Could he have beaten you to telling Jeonghan the truth? God, couldn’t he have at least invited you over if he did? You have to take responsibility, too!
But as you raise your fist to knock on the door, you immediately still at the sound of someone sniffling.
You don’t even bother announcing your presence anymore, swinging the door open with eyes alert. On the mattress, you see Seungcheol and Jeonghan sitting at the edge—the latter with his face buried in the former’s chest. Seungcheol was in the middle of placating him by smoothing a hand across his back, but he immediately snaps his gaze to the door as you barge in. 
“Hannie?” you whisper. 
Jeonghan immediately springs away from Seungcheol’s grasp—eyes blotchy with tears. His lips part with surprise when he recognizes you and makes quick work of his face by hiding it from view.
“Sweetheart, what’re you doing here?” he asks, trying (in vain) to mask the nasal tone of his voice. “Did Soonyoung kick you out or something?”
You don’t answer him right away, instead rushing to his side to give him a hug of your own. Jeonghan stiffens beneath your touch—not having expected you to give it with little context behind your actions. But you’re actually doing it to catch Seungcheol’s gaze to mouth, what the hell is going on?
Jeonghan is crying. Jeonghan never cries.
Ever since the night Jeonghan rejected your little dinner surprise, it’s like both you and Seungcheol were walking on eggshells around him. Something was obviously wrong, but Jeonghan would either brush it off or find some excuse to not talk about it. 
Seungcheol got the brunt of it, living under the same roof and all. It gave rise to many sleepless nights and a few blunders here and there whenever he’s training. You even offered for him to crash at your apartment if he wants to, but he outright refused—saying that the last thing he wants to do is leave Jeonghan alone when he’s like…this.
It got so bad that you even asked Joshua if he knew anything, but Jeonghan’s secretary merely told you that he hasn’t been acting all that different at work. 
Now, though…
Seungcheol looks considerably less agitated compared to how he was over the last two weeks. There’s a gentle look in his eyes that tells you, it’s alright, it’s going to be okay.
“He knows,” Seungcheol starts with a sheepish smile. “He’s known all this time.”
It takes you a while to digest the newfound information, letting go of Jeonghan in favor of looking into his tear-stricken eyes. Your lover manages a tight-lipped smile, an apology written in his eyes before he can even say a word.
“But…how?” 
Jeonghan swallows thickly, forcing himself to breathe. “Before you get any ideas, I was completely in the dark when I introduced the both of you. I just had this…feeling. That the two of you would get along swimmingly.”
You breathe in deeply through your nose, exhaling through parted lips. Before Jeonghan can continue, you take your seat right beside him.
“So…when did you figure it out?”
“Neither of you were being discreet about the fake affection, so I figured that you must have known each other from somewhere,” he says, the ghost of a smile hovering over his lips. “It just so happens that I remembered a story you told me back then—about the ex who straight up left after taking your first time—”
Seungcheol winces in the corner of your eye. You don’t even remember telling Jeonghan about your ‘legendary shitty ex’ as Jihoon permanently branded Seungcheol. But you’re notorious for making a reputation for yourself in those annual company Christmas parties once the alcohol sets in, so…
“—and how the details coincide a bit too well with how Seungcheol described his first relationship ended.” Jeonghan pauses, fidgeting with his fingers on his lap. “I only had a hunch back then, so I made Joshua look into your records, and…that’s when I found out you graduated from the same high school as Cheol.”
Isn’t Jeonghan like an evil person that’s always one step ahead of his opponents? Soonyoung’s voice echoes in your mind.
‘One step ahead of his opponents’, sure, but ‘an evil person’...? 
From the years you’ve spent working (and pining for) your boss, you know that Jeonghan has an incurable habit of being a tease. And sure, you’ve described him as such whenever he’s out to drive you insane on purpose, but… 
Right now, you know Jeonghan’s intentions are anything but malicious.
“Why didn’t you call us out on our bullshit then?” you mumble, more because you’re still afraid to take responsibility for your own silence than anything else. So much for making things right. “If you knew all along then why’d we all have to play house like nothing’s wrong?”
“Because I wanted the both of you to sort out your issues between yourselves first,” Jeonghan says, and the smile on his face turns sad. “And you did. I’m so proud that you did. Both of you won’t even be able to understand how happy I was to see you two curled up together in bed when I got home from Busan.”
The confused look on your face doesn’t let up. “But you still didn’t…” 
For a moment, Jeonghan looks as if he’s about to burst into tears again, but Seungcheol places a hand on his waist. A silent reassurance. 
“I didn’t want to rush you,” he says, despite the fact that this is something you and Seungcheol should’ve told him right from the start. “I wanted to give the two of you the time and space to get used to being together again. Really being together. But…”
On a whim, you take Jeonghan’s delicate hands in yours. You’re not even sure if it makes things any easier for him, but when you see how his tense shoulders relax at your touch, you figure this is alright.
“Seeing the chemistry you both had despite all the years that passed, all the time you missed… I think I got a little over my head every time I saw it.” Jeonghan laughs mirthlessly. “You told me back then that Seungcheol and I might just be missing something, which was why things were so rocky between us. I thought that something was you, but then I gave it a little more thought and…
“Maybe both of you were simply missing each other, and that I shouldn’t have been part of the picture to begin with.”
The moment the words leave his mouth, your grip tightens around his hands, staring at him with slack-jawed silence. “Jeonghan, are you out of your goddamn mind?”
He shakes his head, wiping the rest of the tears from his eyes. “Seungcheol asked the same thing before you arrived. I might just be, if you’re both reacting that way.”
“Is that the reason you were so distant these past few weeks?” you ask, voice betraying the thick coil of emotion clinging to your throat. “Don’t tell me you were planning to break up with us because of it—”
“No,” Jeonghan says sharply, eyes widening when he sees you on the verge of tears as well. “God, no. This is just me falling prey to my own insecurities, sweetheart. I would— I would never leave both of you because of something that can be solved by holding a proper conversation.”
Okay. You forgot for a moment that Jeonghan isn’t an emotionally volatile high schooler that would abandon you at a drop of a hat at the slightest inconvenience. Neither is Seungcheol, and that’s why you’re all sitting down to talk about all of this now.
Just like you should have a long time ago.
“Han, look at me,” Seungcheol pleads, and Jeonghan is quick to relent—puffy eyes meeting his earnest gaze. “Don’t you ever think that we’re better off without you. After all, the reason that brought us back together in the first place isn’t just you, but the fact that we both love you. So fucking much.”
You couldn’t have said it better yourself, actually.
Seungcheol is your first love, that much is true, and even if the two of you encountered several difficulties when it came to making amends, you both conquered the ghosts of the past side by side. But that doesn’t make you love Jeonghan any less.
You’ve been pining for the man for God knows how long, and now that he’s become such an integral part of your life—having learned how to love him past the superficial infatuation—you can’t even imagine living without him.
It’s never just you and Seungcheol. Or you and Jeonghan. Or Jeonghan and Seungcheol, for the matter. 
The best of things come in threes—as unconventional as it is, that’s how your life has always been.
A few moments later, you manage a warm smile, lifting Jeonghan’s hands to your lips so you could plant kisses on his knuckles. “Mhmm. You think someone as hard-headed as Seungcheol would stick around someone he isn’t crazy about?”
Jeonghan breathes through a chuckle. “You both might kill me for this, but didn’t Cheol do the exact opposite back when you two were still—”
“Han.”
“Hannie.”
More than offensive remarks aside, the fact that Jeonghan is cracking that no-good smile of his again tells you that the storm has more or less passed. 
And you couldn’t ask for anything more.
“We’re still sorry for keeping our past a secret,” you say once three of you are lounging back on the cloud couch again—buried beneath Jeonghan’s favorite blanket as you all watch a kid’s movie that he insisted on watching. “Right, Cheol?”
“More than sorry,” he sighs before pressing his lips on the crown of Jeonghan’s head. “We’ll do anything to make up for it.”
“Hm? Anything?”
Part of you knows that giving Jeonghan that kind of power is a very dangerous thing. God knows what kind of schemes are stewing in this man’s head. But for once, you let him have a free pass for all the mischief he can come up with.
“Then…” he starts before turning to you, eyes alight with adoration. 
“I want you to move in with us. For real.”
The words sink in a few moments too late, and you can only dole out a dazed, “What?” before Seungcheol crushes both you and Jeonghan into a life-threatening hug.
“Please say yes,” he whispers, burying his face between yours and Jeonghan’s shoulders. “Please.”
You can feel the rumble of Jeonghan’s laughter reverberating right next to you, and you can only sigh in defeat.
How could you ever say no to them?
There are lots of advantages to living with your two boyfriends after several back-and-forths between their house and your apartment for the past three months.
First is that you’re never alone. At work, it’s a given that you’ll be more or less in Jeonghan’s company, but when you spend weekends at your apartment, it gets a little lonely, especially when your boyfriends and best friends are busy during its entirety. 
Now Seungcheol and Jeonghan always make sure you have company whenever one of them has prior commitments to attend to. No matter how much you say that you really don’t mind the solitude, they were having none of it. 
Second, it’s a lot easier to get things done around the house. You’ve gotten so used to doing all your chores by yourself, that you’re still surprised to walk back into the kitchen—intent on cleaning up after the pots and pans you used to whip up dinner—only to see them squeaky clean and already drying with the dishes. 
It’s the same thing with laundry, which is a chore that Seungcheol has a weird affinity for getting done whenever he has the time. Jeonghan has also adopted a habit of watering your plants before you can even remember to do so—making the idea of living with them all the more endearing, with how considerate they are of your lifestyle.
But you’re pretty sure that the best advantage is…
“Angel, you have to be quiet if you don’t want Cheol to wake up.”
Easier said than done, really. You don’t usually start your mornings with Jeonghan’s cock stuffed in your aching pussy while Seungcheol snored softly just a few inches away—squirming in your lover’s grasp as he gloats about how needy you’re being. But ever since you’ve moved into your boyfriends’ house, each day comes with a different surprise. 
“Hannie,” you whimper, shifting your thighs on his lap just a little to grant yourself a sliver of friction. “We’re going to be late.”
Jeonghan chuckles none-too-mischievously in your ear, lips latching onto the sweet spot just below the cut of your jaw. You instantly mewl in response—walls clenching around his girth. 
“Then I’ll just have to bribe Shua into overlooking today’s time cards,” he whispers, making a show of teasing you by shallowly thrusting his hips against yours. “Besides, don’t you prefer warming my cock on a cold morning, love? Much better than our usual nine-to-five monotone, don’t you think?”
“I’d prefer,” you start with a hiss, “if you just fucked me properly somewhere else instead of sneaking around our sleeping boyfriend!”
Jeonghan hums, trailing those sinful lips down your neck. “Or I can fuck you here and wait for Cheol to wake up and see the show we’re putting on.”
The picture he’s putting inside your head has a rush of heat searing through your core—Seungcheol still blinking out the haze of sleep from his eyes while Jeonghan pounds you into the mattress, calling you all those filthy names that have your toes curling. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve begged for him to get on with it right away. 
But it just so happens that Seungcheol is a sore loser that hates missing out on the fun stuff you do with Jeonghan in bed. If you woke him up and incurred his wrath now, you might not be able to walk out of this bedroom, much less go to work.
Jeonghan knows that goddamn well. 
“Aww, our baby’s whining,” he coos, a hand sneaking under your sleep shirt as he squeezes one of your breasts. “Can’t make up your mind? You want to get wrecked on my cock first thing in the morning, but you also don’t want Cheol to hard dom you right before work? What a dilemma! I wonder how I can help you.”
“Yoon Jeonghan, you’re a fucking menace.”
Jeonghan giggles before turning your head so he can kiss your frowning lips. “What a coincidence, love. You’re fucking this menace right now.”
With your sanity on the verge of snapping, you force yourself to turn around to face him—trying your best to ignore how his cock slides along with your movements. Jeonghan’s eyes widen just a tad before you’re lacing your fingers around his nape, bringing him in for a kiss.
“Hannie, don’t you feel sorry for me?” you mouth the words against his lips, rolling your hips to finally get the friction you’ve been craving since you woke up to Jeonghan grinding his morning wood into your ass. “I’ve been so good for you, and you still don’t want to give me what I want?”
Jeonghan groans, lithe fingers immediately migrating to your hips as he guides your movements—that teasing front of his starting to crumble. After all, he’s still just a man, and you have something that Seungcheol likes to call a magic pussy. 
“Don’t you want to stuff me full of cum?” you whisper in his ear, purposely clenching down on his cock until you feel him throb inside you. “Fuck me so full, I’ll be dripping in the office?”
“Baby, you know the breeding kink is more of Cheol’s thing,” he laughs hoarsely before swinging his legs over to the side of the bed. 
“But I kind of get why he likes it so much now.”
You let out a little noise of surprise when Jeonghan gets up—dick very much still inside you—as he supports your weight with his hands on your ass. Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his narrow waist, and Jeonghan presses a kiss on the tip of your nose, smiling.
He crosses the threshold of the room with you in his arms, setting you down on the vanity table that Seungcheol purchased for you a few days before you moved in with them. The thought of Jeonghan taking you here, of all places, makes your head spin. 
“Tightest fucking pussy I’ve ever felt,” he moans before pulling his hips back—only to snap forwards with a force that has you clinging onto him like a lifeline. “You wouldn’t be able to fit me and Cheol at the same time, would you?”
Jeonghan’s arms wrap themselves securely around your waist, eyes trained on the blissed out look on your face. He chuckles as your head lolls to the side, dazed with the feeling of his cock making a mess of you with every thrust. 
In your depraved trance, you see Seungcheol fast asleep on his side of the bed—completely oblivious to what his two lovers are up to—and the fact of the matter only serves to arouse you further. 
“I asked you a question, sweetheart.”
When Jeonghan completely stills inside you, it takes every bit of dignity you have left just to keep yourself from whining. Not that you weren’t already doing that, but you don’t want to give Jeonghan more of an ego boost than you already have. 
“I can,” you whimper. “I can fit both of you inside me. Please Hannie, just—”
Jeonghan doesn’t have to be told twice. Intent on rewarding such obedient behavior, he gathers your hair with his free hand before yanking on it, hard. The pain that prickles your scalp only serves to heighten the pleasure he’s giving you, and when you feel his teeth scrape the skin of your neck, you just know it’ll take you a while to get your makeup in place. 
“Good, good girl,” Jeonghan praises once he’s satisfied with the marks he’s left on your skin—hickeys blooming like flowers in the spring. “Are you close, sweet thing? You need help getting there?”
You nod a little too fast, tears catching in the corners of your eyes once you start to feel your orgasm sizzling underneath your skin. Fortunately for you, Jeonghan is done with all the teasing—the hand that was just in your hair migrating between your slotted bodies until he finds your clit. You muffle the lewd noises spilling from your lips by biting down on his shoulder, causing Jeonghan to groan in the sexiest way possible.
“Squeezing me so goddamn well,” he sighs, raking his fingers through his long hair before forcing you to look back at your reflection in the mirror. Your thighs are spread wide for him, eyes red with tears as the vanity jostles with every thrust. “Go on, sweetheart, let yourself go for me. Need to feel you cum on my cock.”
“Can’t believe you’re starting without me. Again.”
Jeonghan’s movements falter for a millisecond at the sound of Seungcheol’s sexy but sulky morning voice, but he simply breathes out an airy laugh before continuing to wreck you. With his back turned to Seungcheol, who’s already taking his own cock out of his boxers, Jeonghan can’t see the predatory gleam in those sleepy eyes.
“Han, don’t you two have work today?” Seungcheol asks as he wraps his arms around Jeonghan’s waist—grinding his half-hard length into his ass. “Why does it look like you’re fucking her until she can’t walk?”
“That’s the plan, babe,” Jeonghan laughs. 
“Mean. How would you feel if you got a taste of your own medicine, and I did the same to you?”
You let out a sharp cry when Jeonghan manages to graze your g-spot with the head of his cock, fingers tightening around the edge of the vanity as your two lovers flirted right in front of you. Jeonghan chuckles at your adorable reaction before tilting his head to give Seungcheol a little kiss.
“You already had my ass last night, Cheol. I think you’re in the mood for a different kind of hole this morning.” 
The buildup of your orgasm rapidly fades when you feel Jeonghan’s cock slip out of you. You’re on the verge of tears when you whisper a quick, “No, no, no…” But Seungcheol is quick to pacify you when he gathers you into his strong arms—tossing you back onto the bed. He maneuvers you so your face is pressed against the cool sheets and your ass is in the air.
Having switched positions too quickly, you’re disoriented for a couple of seconds before you realize that Jeonghan is right in front of you again—a tight fist wrapped around his cock as if he’s waiting for something.
But even if your brain is yet to comprehend what it is that he wants, your body responds accordingly, struggling a little as you propped yourself on your elbows before taking his dick into the heat of your mouth. 
“Our baby is so cock-drunk, isn’t she?” Seungcheol chuckles from behind you, where you can feel him smooth down those rough hands of his against the swell of your ass—grinding his cock into the mess Jeonghan made between your legs. “Can’t get off on just one anymore. Has to take both of us to feel satisfied.”
“This one said she can take us both in that tight pussy of hers, Cheol,” Jeonghan laughs along with him, gathering your hair in his hands to keep the strands from falling into your face. “You think we should take her up on that?”
“Mmm… We can. When you’re not running late for work, that is.”
Fuck work, honestly. If Jeonghan had the choice to become a baser creature who lived off sex alone or an established figure in a multimillion dollar company, he would’ve chosen the former in every single lifetime. 
The moan that Seungcheol rips out of your throat once he bottoms out inside you is immaculate. Each thrust sends you forward—nearly pressing your nose into Jeonghan’s pubic bone with each bob of your head. Seungcheol has half the mind to stop for a moment to check if you’re alright, but the fact that his aggression just spurred you on to swallow even more of Jeonghan’s cock tells him that he’s in the clear.
Jeonghan hisses when he feels you massaging his cock with the muscles of your throat, holding back that gag reflex like a fucking champ. It’s a miracle how you eased yourself into deepthroating him while Seungcheol destroys your cunt, but he’s not about to complain. 
Being stuffed with your lovers’ cocks on both ends, your mind is simply on autopilot—just sitting there and taking everything they’re willing to give you like a good little girl. 
Seungcheol growls upon recognizing how willing and pliant you are, fingers digging into your hips until the skin glows red from his grip. 
“C-Cheol—” You gasp, breaking away from Jeonghan’s dick for a breather. “So close. Please.”
“Who said you could stop sucking off Han, baby?” he whispers dangerously. “You’re not allowed to cum until you’ve swallowed everything Jeonghan gives you. Understood?”
You don’t even have to give him a verbal response—immediately getting back to work Jeonghan into his much-awaited release. The desperation is clear in his movements, hands holding your head in place as he fucks your mouth with reckless abandon. Seungcheol smirks as he presses down on your lower back, forcing your spine into an arch that he’s damn sure would make him hit angles he normally wouldn’t be able to. 
And he’s right. Your moans are muffled by Jeonghan’s cock, but from the way your body thrashes beneath him, Seungcheol has definitely found that sweet spot inside you.
“Will you let me cum down your throat, sweetheart?” Jeonghan asks hoarsely, yet everyone in the room knows the question is rhetorical. “Don’t waste a single drop, okay?”
Then your mouth is filled with the warm liquid spurting from your lover’s cock, still thrusting into the cavern of your mouth as he rides out his orgasm. Seungcheol fucking adores seeing the glazed look in your eyes as you take every drop Jeonghan dumps into your throat, spurring him on to chase his own orgasm so he can do the same with your greedy little pussy.
It’s a good thing he knows exactly how to make you fall apart.
Once you’ve swallowed Jeonghan’s load, Seungcheol doesn’t even give you a second to breathe—reaching out to rub two fingers around your overstimulated clit. You cry out in sheer pleasure, the sound shooting straight to his cock, and that’s when he knows he’ll burst any second now.
“Cum on my cock, princess,” Seungcheol leans over your back to growl into your ear. “Let me feel you milk me fucking dry.”
Your orgasm crests before you can even feel it build up to the pinnacle, blindsiding you with pleasure so severe, you barely feel it when Seungcheol stills inside you—his emission rushing in to cream your pussy until drips out of your hole from how much he came. 
It fills you with a sense of extreme bliss that has you collapsing back onto the mattress the moment Seungcheol surrenders the iron grip on your waist.
“Shit. I think we broke her.”
You don’t know how much time has passed when you finally come to your senses again, but you’re bundled up beneath the comforter—dressed in fresh clothes, and feeling just a little sore. Your brain is still having a bit of trouble going back online, but your first instinct is to glance at the digital clock on Jeonghan’s side of the bed, and—
“Fuck,” you mutter, throwing the covers off you when the screen reads 11:45 A.M. “Fucking late on a Monday morning…”
While scrambling out of bed to get ready is what you planned to do, your body obviously isn’t able to keep up with the first thing on your agenda—legs immediately giving out underneath you before you land on the floor with a solid thud. You wince in pain before remembering the events that transpired just a few hours earlier, and why you’re probably going to have to call in sick for the day.
“Whoa, sweetheart. Don’t get out of bed just yet.”
Your ears perk up at the sound of Jeonghan’s voice from where he’s seated in front of his laptop on the desk in the far end of the room. He has his work glasses on, but doesn’t look like he’s dressed for work itself, if the baggy shirt and sweats combo doesn’t already speak for itself.
“What are we still doing here?” you groan weakly when he rushes to your side and helps you back onto the mattress. “We have work—”
“Work that we can do in the comfort of our home,” Jeonghan laughs, kissing your forehead as he tucks you back in. “I told Joshuji to overlook this in exchange for a dinner treat tomorrow, don’t worry.”
You scowl at him, slapping his arm. “I can’t believe you bribed Joshua just so we can stay in after you both fucked me into unconsciousness!”
“Don’t say that you didn’t enjoy every second of it, babe.”
Of course Seungcheol chooses this exact time to barge into the room with a tray full of post-sex necessities in his arms. Some pain killers, your stainless water bottle, some leftovers from the fridge, and your favorite tea—
“No. I’m not letting either of you off the hook!” you huff, crossing your arms even as Seungcheol seats himself next to you to place the tray on top of the mattress. “No more intense sex before work!”
Jeonghan shakes his head. “I don’t know why you love your job so much, sweet thing. If I could work from home everyday, I seriously would.”
“Wish I could say the same for me, too,” Seungcheol sighs, and that’s when you notice that he’s already dressed in his training clothes. “By the way, they already released the game schedules for this year’s FIFA World Cup. I’ll send it to you guys later so you can book flights and accommodations in advance.”
“Hmm, does fucking in a hotel room in Qatar before Cheol plays a match count as ‘intense sex before work’?” Jeonghan asks teasingly, and you kick him in the stomach.
“We will not do that because Jihoon and Soonyoung wanted to watch Cheol’s international games with us!” you scold before reaching out for the cup of tea that (you loath to admit) Seungcheol brewed perfectly. “No sex within hearing range of my two best friends. I traumatized them with my problems enough already.” 
Seungcheol hums contemplatively. “Hmm… They won’t be able to hear if we book a separate room for them—”
“Choi Seungcheol!”
The loving banter between yourself and your two lovers comes so easily these days, it’s hard to imagine that your relationship once had rocky foundations. But the time you spent cultivating the love that naturally blossomed between the three of you is worth all the adversaries you had to go through just to get to where you are now.
And for now, you’re more than content with that.
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end notes: here we are at the end of it! i cannot thank you all enough for reading through my jeongcheol brain damage (bc brain rot just doesn't cut it anymore LOL). i hope you enjoyed consuming it as much as i enjoyed writing it! lemme know ur thoughts in the tags/reblogs bc i am Thirsty for validation HEHE
poly jeongcheol missing hours? you can read up more on them in the series masterlist!
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ivysangel · 7 months ago
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I am dead serious when I say that you guys need to start giving writers feedback more often. I have a fic here that has a total of 4015 notes and only 218 aren't likes. So, let me break this down for you a bit.
Of 4015 notes, 186 are reblogs and 32 are comments. Two reblogs, as well as comments, are mine so I'll subtract them from the equation making the total number of notes 4011 (184 rbs, 30 comments, 3,797 likes).
Of the 184 reblogs, 16 are private, meaning they're absolutely useless in spreading and sharing the piece. The remaining 168 consists of 136 reblogs falling under "other reblogs" while only 32 fall under "comments and tags." And of the 32 under "comments and tags," only 9 have something besides a copy of the tags that I included in my initial post.
The 184 reblogs make up 4.6% of the total notes, the reblogs under "comments and tags" make up 0.8% of the total notes, and the reblogs under "comments and tags" with anything besides tags copied from the initial post make up 0.2% of the total notes.
At one point, I reblogged the post, asking if anyone wanted a part two. That's when I got my first comments. The first 6 comments were in response to that, and of the 30 total comments (excluding my own), only two were unrelated to a part two. Which means I can guarantee that I wouldn't have had that many comments had I not posed the question of a sequel fic.
And if I add those 2 comments to the 9 reblogs, I get 0.3% of the total notes on my post that make up the portion of notes that aren't likes, empty reblogs, or comments about a part two. And that's me being generous because two of the reblogs actually do mention a part two.
I also posted a poll asking what people wanted in part two, and that poll got 238 votes. That is 54 people more who voted for what they wanted in a part two that didn't reblog or help push part one.
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing people in my notifs liking my posts, but sometimes it's just not enough. It is utterly exhausting waking up to multiple hundreds of notifications and not seeing a single person compliment your work. You guys will like stuff, follow, and then head straight to the inbox asking for more. I know it's been said a hundred times before, but we are not machines; we do this for free in our spare time.
The post in question was written when I was tired out of my mind, and I ended up not liking it, so I let it sit in my drafts. I briefly mentioned it on my blog and was met with one of my followers showing interest in the idea, which prompted me to revise, edit, and post it. It was a gift, as are all fics and pieces of art by writers and artists on this site, and yet it was treated like a commodity.
When people say it's unmotivating they're not kidding. When I had 100+ asks in my inbox, all of them being requests, I felt like I had the worst case of writers block known to man. I would open my inbox and immediately close it because the idea of posting anything knowing the only response would be more requests, was awful.
When people leave little messages in the tags, full-blown commentary, or kind messages in my inbox referencing posts, I feel more motivated than ever. Those responses are what drives me to write more. But when I, and other writers, are being treated like we're here to cook up whatever fantasisies you have in mind, I can't help but side-eye a little.
We wouldn't write if we didn't enjoy it, but the moment it feels like a job, it becomes that much less enjoyable, and then everybody loses. Just send a kind message to your favorite writers every once in a while. I promise it'll make their day.
I would also like to say that as I've written this, I've seen more people like that post. So, there's that.
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tin-wufborf · 4 months ago
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Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 11)
Hello again, and welcome to part 11! I cannot believe I'm up to 11 parts on this thing with more to come (though not too many more, I think). That means I've recommended 200 fics/series so far as I've been doing 20 recs per post. Tbh I'm actually pretty proud of myself over this because it means I've been showing incredible restraint throughout this process in only recommending my favoritiest-favorites as opposed to every single fic I can remember liking even a little bit (don't worry, that will be the next series lol). For reference, I currently have 2,610 Sterek bookmarks in total on AO3 and have so far reviewed 1,749 of them to get to those select 200. That is wild to me lol.
BUT ANYHOOZLE.
As always, thank you all again for the support you've shown this series. I hope you're all having as good a day as you can, if not a great day. Smoochies and squeezies from me to you!
List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.
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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19
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not enough by Jana_C (G | 1/1 | 1,569)
Sometimes love is just not enough.
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A Quiet Night (Not in the Cards) by Delightful_I_Am (T | 1/1 | 4,369)
"Derek fucking Hale!"
The shout rang through the bar and for a long moment nobody moved. It was like something out of a movie. Everything just stopped; the music cut off; one of the servers had frozen mid-pour. Grady would have laughed if he weren't holding his breath. The kid straightened his shirt, a glimpse of stomach showing the curling edges of a tattoo on his hip, and strode toward where Hale was sitting in the dark corner. As one, every supe in the place turned to see Hale's reaction; the last person to try to confront Hale in here had left with a broken hand and a whispered threat that the next time Hale would rip their throat out. With his teeth. Unsurprisingly, Hale's face was set in its usual glower, although it seemed a bit softer around the eyes. It took Grady a second to realise Hale knew the kid.
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Painted Wooden Letters by DiscontentedWinter (T | 5/5 | 10,013)
All he ever wanted to be was Stiles Stilinski.
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Babcia Knows Best by thepsychicclam (T | 1/1 | 11,887)
Stiles takes his grandmother to bingo every Thursday. Now there's a new guy calling out the numbers, and his grandmother has decided to set them up.
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god knows I am dissonance by scepticallyopenminded (E | 1/1 | 24,239)
Stiles has zero regrets – zero, absolutely none – about leaving Beacon Hills after he graduates from Stanford. He knows his dad is good, has friends, has the force, has Melissa, and knows that even if he and Mel weren’t dating, that Scott has the sheriff’s back, will take care of him, keep him safe.
He knows Lydia has no regrets, either, and the two of them hop a plane less than a week after the graduation ceremony, two full weeks before their lease in Menlo Park is even up. They pack up a U-Haul, go back to Beacon Hills for two nights, and then they’re off to LAX, three suitcases and two carry-ons between the both of them.
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There's joy not far from here by Talis89 (M | 9/9 | 28,354)
“I’m coming,” Derek calls, shrugging on a sweater. The first few days of March had been warm, but the weather has turned in the last week - winter's last ‘fuck you’ - and Derek is expecting the icy blast as the warm air rushes out the front door. “What—” His breath freezes in his throat.
“Hey there, Sourwolf.”
Stiles is standing on the front porch— Derek’s front porch— his right hand waved in a half wave.
“Stiles?” Derek almost takes a step back. “What are you— how?”
~
Two years after Derek runs from Beacon Hills, Stiles turns up at his front door looking for his own escape. What follows is a story of adventure, healing and finding a place to call home.
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The Heart Remains The Same by heartsdesire459 (T | 1/1 | 28,797)
When Stiles left for college, he already knew the truth... Stiles wasn't a 'he' at all. Dropped into a new, exciting, liberating level of freedom that came with going to college somewhere without anyone who knew her, Stiles began to explore her true self and began her quest to become the girl she knew she had always been. Her fears of everyone's reactions back home led to skipping the first holiday... and then a second. And then the next.
Two and a half years after leaving Beacon Hills - two and a half years spent living an entire new life as a trans!woman - a call in the night forces Stiles to go back to Beacon Hills to face the people she had left and the friends she had abandoned.
“Stiles… it’s your dad.”
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The Second Coming (of Werewolf Jesus) by lupinus, uraneia (E | 3/3 | 40,104)
Stiles was enjoying his senior year until his crazy English teacher decided he made the best candidate to gestate Derek's kid. Now Stiles is a seventeen-year-old pregnant dude and he and Derek have to figure their shit out, because in nine months they are going to be tied together for the rest of their lives.
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Burning House by 1jet2unknown, nottoolateforthegame (E | 15/15 | 41,007)
“Why am I here? What was the point of showing me all that? It’s not like it’s going to change anything!”
You can change it.
 “How?!”
 You can change it if you go back.
“Then take me back!”
Stiles’s stomach lurched as the world tilted and stretched sideways.
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Now as Ever (All That Is and Has Been) by venis_envy (E | 16/16 | 52,270)
Stiles can't remember what happened to rearrange the time-space continuum, or how he ended up being pulled into the past. All he knows is that he's there now, in 2003 Beacon Hills, with a teenage werewolf and a possibly-crazy veterinarian as his only allies.
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Words Cannot Espresso How Much You Bean to Me by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) (T | 1/1 | 68,368)
“You’re late,” Derek informed him coldly, jaw clenched. He barely even moved his mouth to speak. This guy was seriously scary.
And because Stiles was suicidal, he said, “No, I’m Stiles.”
The look he got could’ve curdled milk. Stiles even noticed that Derek’s muscles were tensing, arms bulging even more and wow this guy was scary and hot but mostly scary holy shit.
“You’re not funny,” Derek informed him coldly.
Stiles shrugged. “I think that’s a matter of opinion.”
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Daybreak by TheObsidianQuill (M | 10/10 | 70,382)
"There . . ." Stiles swallowed and looked down at the bottle in his grasp as he slowly swirled the amber liquid inside. "There's really nothing left. For me. Everyone is . . . gone, and it feels like I haven't thought of tomorrow in years." His words rang in the air like a gunshot, he took another heavy drink. "I would trade every last breath I take to just have another shot—not even a guarantee, just a chance to make things right and bring back even one of them." -----
The pack was gone. He had nothing left. He had no one. With nothing to lose, Stiles puts everything on the line to go back in time to try to prevent the future from becoming his past. Broken, guarded, and haunted by his past, only one overgrown-pup of a wolf seems able to get past his defenses. Changing the future? Easy. Finding a place for himself in the Hale Pack? Impossible.
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What Goes Around by KouriArashi (M | 16/16 | 71,451)
“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.”
It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential.
Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”
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The Law of the Jungle by Nutellargh (E | 1/1 | 75,854)
After the Kanima fiasco is over, Derek takes his three betas and leaves Beacon Hills. Stiles knows he could contact him if needed, but they barely keep in touch, and only about mundane things. 4 years later, after a steady stream of supernatural issues they somehow manage to deal with, Lydia is the one to contact Derek when Stiles starts looking worse and worse everyday, with no idea as to how or why. The Slavic monster draining Stiles' energy points them to a much bigger issue Beacon Hills has been troubled with for years.
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Windows by dr_girlfriend (E | 28/28 | 83,266)
Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.
Excerpt:
“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.
“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”
“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.
“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”
“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”
“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”
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where thou art, that is home series by ShanaStoryteller (8 works | NR-E | 94,108)
Hi, Tin here. Once again, Tumblr is deciding not to allow me to post any of the individual stories and summaries here, so here's a very brief summary without me waxing poetic about the series:
This is a canon-divergent AU series that acts as a sort of "fix it" for the universe without sacrificing the things we know and love from canon (imo). It begins with Stiles (and Scott as his co-pilot) managing to prevent the Hale fire from taking out the whole of the Hale pack and then moves forward from there. Lots of BAMF!Everyone abound and interesting takes on existing tropes and canon elements. I urge you all to check it out.
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The Taming of the Wolf by Amethystina (T | 15/15 | 105,352)
When Stiles seeks shelter from the rain in a rundown house in the middle of the woods, the last thing he expects is to find that someone is actually living there. Even less that the person in question isn't quite human. Derek is something else entirely.
Before he knows it, Stiles is thrown into a world he knows very little about and while he enjoys the unlikely and complex relationship that sparks between them, it's obvious that something darker is lurking in the shadows. Something from Derek's past that is just waiting to tear them apart.
Chapters 13, 14 and 15 are bonus chapters, featuring the same story but from Derek's POV (a total of 40 700 words). This is basically two fics in one.
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Anthracite by LupusScintilla (inkandblade) (E | 16/16 | 106,673)
It's been a quiet few years, and the McCall Pack has grown and settled. But, when the Hale Pack return to Beacon Hills they find Scott isn't as welcoming as they had hoped.
Soon they, Stiles, and Lydia, find out that not everything about the McCall Pack is as it has always seemed.
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All Bark and No Bite series by MoonlitMemories (3 works | NR-M | 157,246)
1. Protect and Serve (M | 17/17 | 150,789) Stiles discovers the Nemeton starting to grow again in the preserve on Hale land. What does that mean for the pack? More importantly: why does the Nemeton seem so attached to Stiles? 2. Baby makes Three (G | 1/1 | 3,202) Erica finds out she's pregnant. 3. One of Us (NR | 1/1 | 3,255) Malia doesn't know what to do with the Hale pack.
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Get You The Moon by A ClosedFicIsNeverRead (E | 30/30 | 180,785)
Derek looked up in surprise to note that they were taking a private jet. Dread settled into his gut like a stone. “It has a cage, doesn’t it?” he asked quietly, and noted the subtle changes in his family members’ posture. “Is it for me?” Cora gave him a pleading look and nodded. “Is it because of what you’re going to tell me?” he asked, voice like gravel. Another nod confirmed it. Stiles. Oh, GOD. It had to be Stiles. Derek would not lose control over anyone else in Beacon Hills and they damned well knew it.
- OR -
The one where Derek has been gone for 6 months building a new life, finds out that Stiles is being assaulted by Theo, so he comes back to Beacon Hills to kick some serious ass and rescue the loudmouthed human who stole his heart.
(You will need ALL the tissues, but it will have a happy ending by the time all is said and done!)
Title inspired by song: ‘Get You The Moon’ by Kina ft. Snow
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goodluckclove · 7 months ago
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I've been meaning to say something. (100 follower hot take)
Hey! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you've had a nice day. Why don't you rest with me for a while? I made some chocolate chip cookies - with shortening instead of butter, so they're very soft and very chocolatey. I made way too many and they aren't my wife's favorite, so I could use some help in eating them.
You're probably a writer, right? Or maybe you think about how you could be. Browse the tags here, or on other social media platforms. Maybe you used to write stories as a kid. I bet those were fun. Teachers might've thought they were impressive, or they dissected them line by line until the words didn't make sense in your head anymore. Either way, if you're here you're probably here for a reason.
(rant alert)
I dipped a toe in online writing communities on and off. My last attempt was forty-five minutes scrolling through the writing hashtag on Youtube Shorts (so TikTok, I guess? I don't know). I didn't like it. I really didn't. The thing that sticks out the strongest in my mind is one particular video where a woman claims that every story needs a second act plot twist.
Huh? Every story? All of them? Why? Since when? Who are you? What qualifications do you have to make a statement like that?
That's the common thread that makes a lot of writing spaces very uncomfortable for me. Successful writers are really only successful in their genre and for the given moment, so they don't have that much objective authority in the craft. And yet I see a lot of people deciding the things that you can't do in writing. Or the things you have to do, and how you have to do them. It was so much of Writeblr at first glance that I almost dipped out once again. I didn't, though, and I'm glad I didn't because now I get to watch some of the next great storytellers from across the world grow and examine and forge their way forward.
No one can teach you how to write. No, that's not true. Teachers teach literacy. Handwriting. Typing maybe - do schools still teach typing? Let me try saying it in a different way - no one, not one single person on this goddamned planet, has the right to tell you how to make a story.
I was supposed to get my MFA in creative writing before my first breakdown. My uncle stayed in the program I was meant to be in, and a few years after I dropped out he graduated. Recently I had the thought to look up his thesis novella, and as I searched I found myself regretting my decision to leave school. If I stayed and got to develop my writing in an actual class, with other writers and a knowledgeable professor, how much further along would I be than where I am right now?
It was bad. His novella was terrible. It was so bad I had a small existential crisis for, like, three days. He spent so much money on years and years of professional education and came out with a truly soulless story that read as if you prompted an AI to write the next Great American Novel. So if you think you need a writing degree to be a legitimate author, it could help connections-wise, but it ultimately won't be the thing that does the work for you.
Not all advice I see online on writing is bad. I find the people who are able to capture the "I" statements of therapy and phrase advice as things that have worked for them, or things that they personally enjoy, to be fine. Some writing advice can spark inspiration.
But if someone is the type of person to boil every story down to troupes and cliches, and then immediately say that every story that uses the trait they don't like is automatically bad for everyone? I'm dropping the kindness for a second - that's trash. That's a trash take and I see far too many writers use it as a reason to stop before they begin.
I don't like whump. I say my reasons in previous posts if you go back through my blog. But you will never hear me say that any story with whump in it is bad, because I don't know that. You might prove me wrong. I am an adult human being and I have the humility to admit that I can like something I didn't expect to. I genuinely enjoy the direction of The Human Centipede (only the first one) and if you cringed just now that probably means you haven't seen it.
There are so many types of books and movies and plays and comics out there. To enjoy a specific genre is fine, to ignore the existence of everything else is a really, really, really odd thing to do. Maybe someone will hate your story because they think everything should be Neil Gaiman, and therefore have no way to understand your epistolary high-Western. You are not the wrong end of that situation just for existing.
And at there is a definite threshold on how many writing tips you can gather before they stop being useful. If you find them interesting, that's one thing. That's fine. But if the culture of creativity online has made you feel like you need to educate yourself on every possible angle before you can write a story, you are actively harming yourself.
Imagine taking the level of structure you put on yourself in that way and putting it on children playing pretend in the backyard. Oh, Susie, don't you know that it's overdone for your Kitsune have dead parents? Xyler, shouldn't you ask someone else before you decide how Spiderman would react to this? It would make no sense and they do not need it. Kids will make a whole world out of nothing and it's the most fucked thing in my heart that at some point they get access to Reddit and dipshits start insisting that's wrong.
They aren't wrong and you aren't either. Your favorite creative influencer can't tell you your story, strangers on the internet can't tell you your story, your teachers and loved ones can't tell you your story. They can influence it, but they can't write it honestly the way you can.
You do that. That's the thing you do.
Man that makes me upset. I can't tell you how to make a story, either. If anyone sends me asks for writing advice the most I'll do is say what I've done before hopping into your DMs and starting a direct conversation. it's so personal to each individual artist, and I'd like to think that the people selling these classes and software and promoting these platforms haven't thought about that before. Otherwise it does feel manipulative. If you have a willingness to practice and imagine and really experiment with the possibilities, you are ready to write your story.
And if it doesn't work? Try again. That's what you do.
Stephen King has written roughly a thousand books and maybe five of them have decent endings. He is unimaginably successful.
I'm rambling now. I think I got that out of my system. I was really worried to say this out of fear of being too weird or somehow reverse-gatekeeping so hard that it circles back into also being a bad thing. I've just spoken to a lot of people who I still think of throughout my day, and I truly ache for them to get past the fear of creation. Because it's worth it. It's worth it and it's fun, even when it's messy and you're tired.
Let it Be just came on. Beatles. I haven't listened to The Beatles in a long time. Feels a little apropos.
I love you, reader. Reader, Writer, Colleague. Take care of yourself. Especially the little you, still sitting there in the backyard of your soul, bathing in the sun with their bare feet in the damp earth.
Consider joining them, maybe.
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gutterfuuck · 6 months ago
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“ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU—☆”
something short, haha 😅 this could be an epilogue to my other rex fic, just a quick few paragraphs as i have had them in my notes.
cws - none, really (i am not sure? will update tags), just fluff! mdni. rex x cecil’s daughter!reader. for my sistas that are reading!!: it is not specified wether reader is biological or adopted child of cecil, you can fill that in if you would like! i personally prefer that is adopted, however you can imagine as you’d like. i’m not too happy with this one because i did not know how to end it, haha. maybe i will have to extend more
rex sloan met you in the summer while he had been training at the guardians’ headquarters, running on a treadmill with sweat sticking auburn brown strands onto his forehead.
you strolled right past him with your arm linked onto cecil’s, excited eyes taking in your surroundings. you had begged him for a job at the pentagon for as long as you could remember, you wanted to be just like your father, ever since you were able to identify what a job was. cecil had finally given in one day,
“whatever my baby girl wants.” he sighed, watching with a smile as you jumped up and down, a shrill scream reverberating off of the walls as you thanked him, your arms thrown around your dad’s shoulders with your eyes squeezed tight, trying your hardest to keep tears from rolling down your cheeks;
and now you were here, having already finished your little tour of your soon to be work place and teleporting over to your well awaited tour of the superhero headquarters you had been so excited to see. you were going to be just like your father, you worked so hard for this. you passed the top of your class, A+++ across the boards, you memorised the layout of your father’s place of work and kept every single secret identity sealed tightly and locked away behind your lips, never to be spoken. you had proved yourself, you hadn’t just been given the job because you were cecil steadman’s ‘spoiled kid’ (even though you were, and it did improve your chances of getting the job), you had put your blood, sweat and tears into this.
rex sloan couldn’t take his eyes off of you, he couldn’t tell wether you were the one making his heart race faster or if it was the fault of the increasing speed of the treadmill. he was sure that if aphrodite had been reborn, it would’ve definitely been you. rex watched breathlessly as you and cecil made your way to the exit door, your image burning into his eyelids. beauty incarnate. the treadmill slowed, he opened his mouth to say something before you left.
silence.
and you were gone, your giggles echoing around in his head. for once in his life, rex had been speechless. he stared blankly at the closed door, blinking slowly with his lips parted.
“i’m y/n steadman, i’ll be overseeing you all today on account of my father getting me a little work experience.” you introduced yourself, white collared shirt tucked into your striped formal trousers, blazer buttoned with a pink tie fastened around your neck. “it’ll be nice getting to meet you all.” you finished, standing in front of the sitting heroes for a few seconds before you realised your mistake; “-oh! ah, sorry, any questions?” you corrected yourself, nervously playing with your fingers. they blinked at you blankly, you cleared your throat. a hand raised, your attention shifted, nodding and pointing at the hero,
“i-.. it’s nice to meet you…!” rex blurted out, monster girl laughed. “that isn’t a question, stupid. do your brain cells blow up when you use your powers, too?” she joked, making kate cover her mouth so she could giggle behind it. “hey! don’t you grow younger every time you transform? you’re the one who’s loosing brain cells!” he retorted, to which she laughed harder. you chuckled, rex’s attention turned towards you, “are you smarter than a 5th grader?” you joined in, lightly poking fun at him. you looked beautiful, your smile was unlike anything he had ever seen before.
rex nodded at you, teeth exposed in a wide smile, “good one, at least we know you’re not as stuck up as your pops.” it were as if he had to recover every time you spoke, his response had come fifteen seconds after a silence that everyone else had found weird. everyone would just brush it off as rex just being stupid and waiting for an applause or something. he had just gotten lost in you, taking in every feature and savouring the way your shocked face looked around before your shoulders heaved with a silent laugh, hoping that your father wouldn’t hear this when listening in.
you met rex sloan in the summer while at your first job, he never failed to make you laugh. you never failed to snap back just as wittily.. and that never failed to make him go silent, face heating up as he mocked your laugh, nothing to rebuttal with. it wasn’t because he couldn’t keep up banter, it was because you looked so goddamn gorgeous with a smile on your face, you’d playfully slap his arm to defend yourself against his mockery.
you and rex met on top of the roof in the summer evening, his head in your lap with your fingers loosely braiding his hair. you both looked up into the pinkish red sky, watching as the sun melted into the hills and switching with the moon, red turning to purpleish blue, finally settling on a pitch black, starry scattered sea of night. rex’s hair would fall over his face as he propped himself up on his elbows, not even having to ask as you pressed your lips onto his, short and sweet. “no fair, if i moved that quickly around you, you’d probably zap me or something with that weird tech shit.” rex shook his head, sitting up fully and pulling you into his lap, “oh rex, you really think i hate you… that much..?” you poked him in his forehead, sticking out your tongue at him. rex could only bring his face closer, nuzzling his nose against yours. “i already know how much you hate me, i can tell that you hate me, that why you can’t sleep without me.” he whispered, kissing you and resting his head against yours, “that’s why i gotta bust my ass climbing up to your window so your dad doesn’t skin me alive,”
“and that’s why you gotta be gone by 5:30am, cuz dad wakes up at six sharp.” you found your hands in rex’s hair as you spoke, stroking through his soft locks and scratching his scalp gently, “and i like to sleep in with my girl for a while.” he finished, his hand rubbing up and down your leg lovingly. it was late, you had to be in bed early to wake up in the morning on time to get back to work and cecil would definitely be asking you questions about where you had been later, even though he was fully aware. your father actually didn’t mind, but refused to give you the impression that he was becoming more lenient. he wasn’t stupid, cecil actually woke up at five in the morning. he could see rex’s legs dangling from the kitchen window one time, watched him closely before he fell onto his back with a loud thump onto the grass, winding himself for a moment and sneaking off of the property with his shoes in his hands. well, at least he took his shoes off in the house.
“you got a boyfriend yet, kid?” your father would ask, sipping bourbon from his little glass while he scanned his laptop one last time, his finger pressing down on the power off button. you quickly stammered to find your words, leaving your space in the kitchen with your yellow rubber gloves still on your hands, soapy bubbles running down your wrist as you stood there, “not a boyfriend, sir. a colleague who i have taken a liking to, sir.” you fiddled with the yellow rubber gloves, eyes avoiding your father’s in an attempt to keep your composure. “c’mon, honey. we’re not at work, we’re home. you don’t need to be so… formal.” he raised an eyebrow, clearing his throat as he fixed his tie. hypocrite. you smiled at his habit. “it’s hard to-“ “hard to break out of, yeah.” he finished for you, shaking his head with a soft chuckle, “you’re my pride and joy, y’know that?” and you’d nod back at him, conversation dissolving as you made your way back to the dishes.
you and rex sat on the roof of your home, setting off fireworks into the sky. you thought it was so cool how he could do that, produce colourful sparks and loud bangs from virtually nothing. it’s the bangs of the fireworks he remembers when he’s on his knees, staring at the remains of his teammates as his life starts to flash before his eyes, the only thing worth remembering being you. he remembers your giggles and gasps when he’d shot off a firework that he’d managed to make look a little like a flower, he’d been practicing to impress you. he remembers the first time he’d seen you, the way you’d made his heart almost burst out of his chest… and that’s when he snaps, just as the gun fires, just as the bullet strikes him through his brain. not now, not when he still had to make it back to you tonight. he still had things he wanted to do with you, you hadn’t even tried out that new ice cream place that opened up, the one just five minutes away from your house, the one he’d promised to take you. one question remained in his adrenaline filled state. how dare you shoot me, how dare you try to take me away from my girl?
if not for his body running on instinct, he’d have probably collapsed and died right there, he should’ve died. it was a blur, beating that green piece of shit to a bloody pulp while he momentarily blacked out each time he landed a punch… when backup showed up, he was sure he’d thrown up a thumbs up, even with his missing hand. you were gonna be so worried about him, he could hardly wait for the earful you were going to give him about being careful. rex just wanted to hear your voice, that was the only thing he needed right now, along with some intensive care. like, soon.
rex holds your hands as you try your hardest not to cry, biting down on your bottom lip with your eyebrows knitted together, glassy orbs observing his injuries. “m’sorry i didn’t make it back to you last night, i bet you thought there was something really wrong when you didn’t see me this morning.” he touches your face with his hand that’s still there and you want to slap him, you want to grab him and shake him by his shoulders so hard that he’d quit being a hero, this was so close! you could’ve lost him forever, never seen him again. your anger translates into a puff of your chest, leaning yourself forward to place your lips into his, hands flying around his shoulders to pull him close. “thought- when dad told me- you were shot in the head and..-“ you sobbed softly, resting your head in the space between his shoulder and neck, wetting his skin with your tears. it was a miracle he’d survived, maybe your boyfriend really was stupid enough to take a bullet to the brain and have almost no changes. you’d laugh about that idea on another day, when the event wasn’t so raw to you. you couldn’t wait to get home that night, you’d finally tell your father about you and rex’s real relationship, if this had ever happened again then cecil would go on without ever being able to know how to comfort you since he only really saw the guy as an employee. you loved rex, you loved his resilience. who else would be able to survive a gunshot to the head and still have enough in him to beat the culprit with a bloody stump for a hand and his vision blanking out?
rex sloan gave you a ring just at the start of fall; nothing too special, not expensive by any means. plastic, pink and it hardly fit your hand. you’d acted offended upon receiving a cheap toy as an ‘engagement ring’, his lips kissing the back of your hand. “i couldn’t find one perfect enough for you. this one isn’t any better, but it’s cute. it’s you. you don’t care about flashy shit, you’re cool like that.” his words make you feel warm inside, he really knew you. he really loved you, you loved him just as much. he couldn’t wait to get back to work, you’d be there to keep him confident.
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cycat-carisi · 1 year ago
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Lonesome Superhero
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Pairing: Gator Tillman x f!reader (not romantic)
Summary: Gator keeps hitting on you and you finally give him a piece of your mind. He's not the sweet boy you once knew anymore - or if he is, it's far too difficult to see.
Tags: No spoilers! Angst. Post episode 1 and 2.
Warnings: language, misogynistic themes from the show
Length: ~1.3k
A/N: This just popped into my head and I needed to get it out. Gator is despicable and unless he has some major character growth, I can't bring myself to romanticize him. I do think his character is super intriguing though. I hope we get to dive deeper into what makes him tick throughout the season. (:
(Plus, I have a theory that Gator may have unintentionally been a witness to his mother's murder as a boy...)
Fic below the cut or on AO3 here
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It's in the way the frosted glass door harshly swings open that immediately lets you know who is behind it. There could only be one person who felt entitled enough to barge into a retirement home like he owned the place.
You swallow thickly. Not again.
Turning around from your medicine cart, you find him standing there in his camouflage cargo pants and a black t-shirt that is two sizes too tight. His hands perch on his hips as his narrowed eyes and cocky smirk aim in your direction.
"Gator, please. Not today," you speak coldly.
His smirk only grows. "Oh, c'mon, babycakes, you don’t know what you're missin'!"
"Gator!" you scold, trying to hush your voice in front of your patients. "Come with me, please." Anger bubbles up inside of you as Gator's face contorts into a triumphant grin. He saunters forward as you lead him toward the back entrance of the small facility.
In the shadow of the building, the fall air nips at your bare arms. The chill, however, is easily quelled by your boiling blood.
"How dare you come to my place of work!" You waste no time laying into the Tillman son.
Your ferocity catches Gator off-guard, causing panic to dart across his features. He takes a half-step back, pulling his head and neck along with it.
Oh, but you’re far from done with him.
"For weeks now, you've been popping up wherever I go, asking me to go out with you in the most degrading ways possible! Every. Single. Time. I have turned you down, yet you clearly cannot take ‘no’ for an answer! And now you have the audacity to show up at where I work and do the same? No! It doesn’t work like that, Gator. I worked hard for my career. I went to college, got my license, and came back here to help my community. I am respected in this building, and I will not tolerate you waltzing in here like God's gift to women and disrespecting me in front of my patients!"
Out of breath and seething, you continue to stare Gator down. He looks downright gobsmacked – a mixture of a wounded pup about to run and a cornered hound ready to bite.
The silence is deafening. You wait for Gator to snap back like he always does – some moronic comeback that's as pathetic as his barbed wire LOL tattoo.
And predictably, he does just that. "What the hell?!!" he cries out, stepping towards you and invading your space. The pungent odor from his last puff of vape wafts off his breath. "I'm the law in this town! I'm a winner! All you ever do is humiliate me! You're fucking awful!"
"I'm awful?!" you scoff, eyebrows shooting skyward. You're about to rip him a new one when you simply stop and shake your head in pity. "What happened to you, Gator?"
Once again, the Tillman son is rendered speechless. His dark brow pinches together in confusion. "Wha-?"
You seize your opportunity to dive a little deeper. "I mean, what happened to the Gator from middle school? The one who used to be my friend? The boy who was sweet and kind and would spend lunch hours reading comic books with me. It's like you suddenly woke up one day and decided to become an asshole, always acting out in class and purposely bullying other kids. Doing reckless shit because your dad could get you out of trouble. And now? I think you've gotten worse! Hell, Mrs. Lakeland told me that you all but pushed Gladys Baker out of the way at the corner store the other day. What the heck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are?"
"I - I -" he stammers, head spinning. Then Gator swallows, puffing up his chest. "I take what's mine! I take what I'm owed. I made it through police training. People in this town owe me their respect, so I take it as I see fit."
"Newsflash! That's not how you get respect, sunshine," you retort. "Respect is earned, and from where I'm standing, all I see is a pathetic man-child whose daddy got him where he is today. 'My father is the sheriff' are the magic words that force people to step out of your way. That's not respect; that's notoriety from being a grade-A asshole!"
Gator's face twists into a snarl while his fists clench and unclench at his sides. You've clearly hit a nerve.
Even though you’d love nothing more than to lay into him some more, you remind yourself that it’s notworth the fight. Instead, your chest constricts with disappointment. "I don’t get it, Gator,” you speak softly. “Why do you let your father run your life? He says to jump and you ask how high. When are you gonna wake up and realize that he's just using you?"
If it wasn’t clear that you’d struck a nerve before, it certainly is now. Gator’s combat boot strikes the gravel, sending up a cloud of dust and dirt, and his cheeks glaze over with a deep red flush. "I don’t – He doesn’t –" Lost for words, Gator simply clamps his jaw shut. He kicks at the ground again and throws his hands to his hair, letting out a frustrated yell.
You hop back in surprise; a fearful gasp escapes you at his sudden outburst.
Gator's head whips back up, and those dark eyes meet yours.
Middle school was a long time ago, yet Gator remembers everything. He remembers how nice you were to him; how one day you saw this quiet boy sitting alone at lunch with a comic book and decided to come over and ask what he was reading. He used to dream of being as invincible as the superheroes in his books – Gator's way of shielding himself from everything that he'd seen. But then you came along and somehow made him feel a little less alone. He adored you and your friendship, eventually developing a little crush. That was, of course, before Gator was taught that girls weren't supposed to like comics, that men lead while women follow, and that his father's word was absolute. If he pleased his father, any situation could go Gator's way. The power sought after by characters in his comic books was right at Gator's fingertips; all he had to do was prove to the senior Tillman that he was worthy. Nothing else mattered.
And now? Gator almost had it. He was so close to having his father's approval. He was certain of it! Why couldn't you see that? Why couldn't you see how awesome he had become? He had buried his crush on you away while you were at college, but now that you were back, there was no reason to hide that he wanted you. And there should be no reason why you wouldn't want him either!
Except…your words today hurt. They made Gator feel puny and pathetic. How could you say that he was just his father's pawn?! He was his own man! A tough and strong and important man in this town...right?
You watch as despair briefly flashes across Gator's face before quickly being replaced by aggravation. He grunts again prior to spinning on his heels and stalking off.
No! Gator is his own man, and you were just the type of woman his father had warned him about! His crush is stupid, and so are you...
As Gator storms off, his ears catch your quiet words laced with pity. "Silly me for thinking that the sweet guy who read comics with me would still be in there.”
For the first time since he was a boy, tears stab at Gator's eyes. He scrunches his eyes closed and shakes his head, instead focusing on the sound of gravel crunching under his boots as he slinks away.
Thanks for reading! Feedback is loved ❤
| Series masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
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discoveredreality · 9 months ago
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intro post <3
don't mind me editing this like every single day lol
my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3
anons are welcome too <3
also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭
anyways
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BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)
this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so
@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL
@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333
@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH
@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333
@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33
@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333
@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG
@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg
@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3
@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭
@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg
@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER
idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along
moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3
so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭
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about me
i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭
personality/star sign or whatever
according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(
time zone
Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ
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my music taste
i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.
favourite books and authors
i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.
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dni
idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf
tag games and shit
yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol
tags
i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?
fandoms!
i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro
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i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D
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and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo
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all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.
my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here
the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good
IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333
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damnfandomproblems · 1 month ago
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"People keep calling minors puritans" anon who got banned from their discord server: You are being handed every goddamn tool to curate your experience and refusing them. You're not being pushed out, you're forcing your own preferences on others and experiencing the consequences of that.
I've modded a large discord server for years. We have a gacha channel. I have a microtransactions problem. You know what I do? I mute the gacha channel, often turn on hide muted channels, and I have never once been in that channel. The other mods handle anything that pops up there.
"What if they talk bad about me where I can't see" is a ridiculous justification for banning a NSFW channel. They can also do that in DMs, but I hope you don't get angry about them DMing each other. You have to trust your friends to not be stabbing you in the back, and if you can't trust them, you need either better friends or therapy. Or both. (I don't say that as an insult at all, I know some people do and that's disgusting. I'm in therapy. It fucking rules. More people should be in therapy.)
It's perfectly valid to not want to have NSFW in a server you created, and I'm sorry that you got banned without warning. It sounds like things were handled badly all around, and we definitely don't have enough information to say you were in the right or the wrong. But you cannot simply expect other people to not ever engage with NSFW in any space you could possibly see. You are being given the tools to avoid seeing it. It is your responsibility to use them.
And to say "adults shouldn't be allowed in fandom spaces because they push minors out"? Not only are you generalizing a TON, that statement is downright CRUEL. I shouldn't be allowed to engage with and talk about the things I like just because I'm 25 instead of 17? When I'm basically the same person as I was then? Fandom has been a huge part of my life for over a decade. And you think I shouldn't be ALLOWED to be a part of it because some adults wouldn't take you refusing to respect your own boundaries by staying out of clearly marked NSFW spaces. That makes me angry and it makes me feel incredibly hurt. I'm just here enjoying the things I love. And you say I shouldn't be allowed to, when I don't even know who you are, and you don't even know who I am.
I know you're a kid, and that's not your fault. I remember being a kid. But I hope you learn to realize that you are responsible for your own experience. You can't expect every single person in the world to cater to you. The majority of us do want you, and everyone, to be comfortable in fandom. That's why we tag and why we clearly mark NSFW content, so people can block what they need to. Hell, I'll block anyone I see whose DNI I violate so I don't cross a boundary by accident. (And also because I don't want to interact with someone who doesn't want to interact with me.) But we have just as much of a right to be comfortable in fandom spaces as you do. We all need to create our own boundaries rather than expect others to remove everything we don't like.
If you don't like seeing filtered terms on your dash... unfollow the people who post them. If you don't want to see NSFW in discord, mute NSFW channels. It is your responsibility to do these things.
You have been given so many tools to curate your own experience. I promise you and everyone around you will be happier if you learn to use them.
Oh, my ask is about 5796.
Posting as a response to a previous problem.
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sundew199 · 7 days ago
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Never Lose Me snippets
In honor of my Post-Rumbling Fic being completed, I wanted to put together some of my favorite moments/snippets from each chapter because I love it so much and I've become extremely attached to it. This is probably some of my best writing and I'm super proud of it. This is only the first ten chapters and I'll probably make a part two, just so this isn't ridiculously long.
Warnings/tags: mentions of suicide in chapter one's snippet. Postpartum depression implied in Chapter 10's snippet. This is a f!reader x reiner fic, the story is centered around Reiner creating a building a family with you post-rumbling.
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Chapter One: A journal entry from one of Reiner's journals after he attempted, something you were unaware of and stumbled upon:
"I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror, want to vomit when I catch a glimpse of what I am, who I was and what I’ll never be. I don’t deserve anything, I deserve to die, rot away in a nameless grave for all that I’ve done. I’m not a good person, I’m the epitome of everything opposite. 
I should be dead, I don’t know why I hesitated on blowing my head off. I guess it's because I couldn’t get her face out of my head, her eyes and how’d I rip everything she holds dear if I went through with it. An early death wouldn’t be so different from when I pass on the armor, I can’t be with her forever. Then again that’s what I deserve. She deserves better, deserves a man who doesn’t recoil at his own image and cries himself to sleep as memories flash repeatedly at night. 
I can’t allow myself to be selfish anymore, even if I so badly want to spend the rest of my life with her, as unrealistic as it sounds. She’ll live to old age and I’ll die at 25 and become nothing but a faded memory to her. I have so many regrets, more than I can count on two hands, but I think my biggest one was going through with the warrior program and signing my life away when I could’ve spent it with her. 
I’d give anything to wake up next to her in our own house, with kids running around in the early morning begging for us to get up and make them breakfast. I’d fucking break through wall Maria all over again if it meant I could have that. 
I’ll love her till my last breath even knowing her love for me will fade over time. "
His reassurance after you stumbled upon the journal and read what he wrote: "Reiner could see the hurt written across your face and saw how you took his explanation. Even if you knew just you alone wouldn’t be enough for him to mend the wounds that were his trauma, it hurt hearing how he wanted to give up. You were glad he didn’t but it stung as if he did. 
“Hey look at me.” Gently guiding you back to face him, thumbs brushing away the stray tears that ran down the old ones dried to your face. “If it weren’t for you and putting so much faith in me I wouldn’t be standing here in this kitchen. You’ve been the grounding force all my life, my reason to keep going, my reason to be better than who I was. I owe you who I am right now and I thank the universe every single day that we crossed paths, everyday sweetheart.”
The tremble in your bottom lip increased by a ten fold, allowing yourself to go limp in his hands for him to catch you, wrapping you in the familiar embrace that was him. You needed him as much as he needed you, bound together smoothly and seamlessly to always be the salve to each other's wounds, the reminder that it will get better. 
Time carried on in the kitchen, calming yourself in his arms with your face pressed to his chest. There was no urgency on his end, allowing you all the time to let everything out. When you pulled away, he smoothed the sides of your face from any remaining tears, pecking your lips."
Chapter Two: Proposing to you.
"His hand came to cup the side of your face, turning you in for a kiss. You smiled into it, placed your palm on the nape of his neck and stood on your tiptoes to meet him properly. The kiss turned into several, languid and deep, all laced with the love so strongly intertwined into your beings. Reiner pulled away, pecked your lips twice more and embraced you. 
“You are my everything, my other half.” Pulling away, running his hands up and down your arms. His adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, words he wanted to speak turning his throat dry with emotion. “I can’t ever tell you how happy you make me, how lucky I am that my love for you wasn’t unrequited. You are my angel, sent to me when the universe knew I needed you most, without you sweetheart I wouldn’t be standing here, sharing this moment with you.” 
He smiled bashfully, pulling his arms away and shoving one of his hands into the pocket where the ring box was, clutching it tightly. He warmed under your expression to his words, the soft smile creasing your red cheeks. Ignoring the constant flipping of his stomach, the dryness in his throat and sweat beading on his neck, Reiner began again, lowering down to one knee. Instantly you gasped, hands over your mouth and your body shaking with near instant tears that hadn’t fallen yet. 
“From the moment I met you on that sidewalk in Liberio, when I was ten years old I knew I had to find some way to make sure you would be in my life. Even when I thought I wouldn’t live to see thirty, I still wanted to marry you, wanted to share a life with the woman who became the other half of my heart.” His voice shook, laughing cumbersomely and finally bringing out the ring box from his pocket. 
You were sobbing before him, stifling your tears of happiness as best as you could. Reiner’s entire body trembled as he fought to find the next words to go along with the famous four. 
“There is nothing else in this world that I have ever been so sure of, what was once a hopeless dream that I knew I had to make a reality when I was given a second chance, a second chance with you and to make the most of this life and cherish you like you deserve.” Pausing, Reiner blinked the few tears that escaped, opening the top of the box to reveal the ring he spent so much of his time fussing over. 
“Which is why I brought you out here tonight, to ask you a very important question sweetheart. Will you marry me?”
Chapter Three: His Doubts on Fatherhood:
"Saying that outloud was a lot for him at that moment, a vague statement that held layers upon layers beneath it. Reiner knew his most inner insecurity was failing as a partner and now add father to that list and he was a mess with unrationalized thoughts about what could or couldn’t go wrong. Not having a dad growing up and seeking out said father and finding out he had nothing to do with him rewired him that day. Reiner didn’t want for one second that his future son or daughter felt unwanted by him, to not see the lengths he went to to make sure they were loved and cherished by him, that they were all he could’ve asked for. He knew the nursery not being done when they arrived wouldn’t matter to a newborn baby, but it mattered to him. 
“Why’s that?” Came your tentative voice, one of your hands resting over his hand and your thumb rubbing soothing circles on the inside of his wrist. 
“Because I want them to feel appreciated and wanted before they arrive, to know that I want them in my life and that I’m excited to be their dad. I know a newborn baby isn’t going to know or comprehend any of that so I guess it’s more for me, to make up for what I didn’t have.” 
He wanted to cringe at how selfish that sounded, but he was telling you the truth. This baby would never experience what it felt like to be unwanted, to go to the farthest lengths to earn approval from him. Reiner would die before he ever allowed his children to feel an ounce of what he felt growing up. Finishing the nursery may have been seen as something not as important to anyone else, but to him it was the first step to being anything but what his mother and father were to him. 
“Reiner. This baby is already so loved. I know how important all of this is to you, but I feel like you’re trying to prove something to me as well, which you don’t have to.” 
Tears were burning at the corners of his eyes, blinking rapidly so he wouldn’t embarrass himself over crying in the kitchen over old buried trauma. Frustration simmered inside him often when he felt the weight of old wounds resurface after so many years, so sure that he’d healed from it at this point. Even with your constant reminders that healing was never linear and that it was okay, Reiner at times felt pathetic for letting it affect him like it did. 
“I just want to be a good dad, I’m scared that I’ll get in my own head and fail and be like my dad and I don’t want that. Even though I’ve wanted kids and I’m so excited, it’s overwhelming sweetheart.” A thumb came to brush the tear that slid down his cheek, inhaling a shaky breath and shuffling his weight on his feet. Reiner hated that this was overwhelming when it’s all he’d ever wanted. Grappling with new emotions and situations was never his strong suit and he hated that about himself sometimes, he wished it were easier to carry the stress of an impending arrival such as this one, but by god he was overwhelmed and scared and channeling that into working and finishing the nursery along with various other things for you and the baby. 
Chapter Four: After his daughter is born:
"A quick glance over to him and Reiner was crying, holding Maisie just under his chin and repeatedly kissing the crown of her head. Her fists were curled tightly to his shirt, holding onto Reiner as if she knew it would comfort him. Seeing your fiance so emotional at such random had the all too familiar lump forming in your throat. 
“I’m sorry - it just feels like I’ve been dreaming, that I’m going to wake up back in warrior barracks in Liberio.” Choking out on a whisper, tipping his head back so the tears wouldn’t roll down his cheeks too quickly. A smaller hand that belonged to you, landed over his that was cradling Maisie to his chest, offering your presence. “I don’t know why I’m having the sudden realization now that this is real when she’s six weeks old I- fuck sweetheart this is real right, I’m not going to wake up.” 
A quiver began in your bottom lip hearing the plea in his tone, like he was so afraid this would all fade from existence, slip from his fingers as he tried to hold on. Forming the words of reassurance were a struggle, mouth running try as you mouth silent words to a response. That seems to prompt a further reaction from him, blinking rapidly and forcing a smile, pulling you tighter to him. 
“Yes, this is…this is real Reiner, you're not going to lose this. You’re going to wake up in your bed in the home you built, next to me and next to your daughter.” Finally managing to say a few words, though your voice was so strained from keeping the tears at bay you feared he might’ve not heard you. 
His head bobbed in understanding, pressing his lips to the crown of Maisie’s hair and squeezing his eyes shut. What once was a broken, scarred man who convinced himself he was worthy of nothing but an early death, sat beside you a man who couldn’t be more grateful for the life he had, the life he swore would never come to fruition. Reiner inhaled sharply, lifting his head up and back to take in a few deep breaths. 
“I mean it when I saw you’re the greatest thing that’s happened to me, you’ve given me a family sweetheart, made me a father and will make me your husband. You and Maisie are my entire world, my entire purpose.” His hand came to cradle the back of your head, looking at you with glossy eyes that swirled with endless amounts of love and appreciation for the impact you had on his life. Tears were falling down both of your cheeks, Reiner wiping the one he could with his thumb and letting out a few laughs, amused that his uncontainable emotions were bringing you both to tears. Maisie remained unfazed on his chest, sleepily blinking back at you, bringing a tender smile to your lips.
“I’d choose you all over again if I had to, every single time sweetheart.” Sealing his words with a tentative kiss, allowing it to linger even if it was only meant to be short, swiping his thumb over your cheek once more for added adoration. Your hand wrapped around his wrist, bringing it to you so you could plant a kiss on his palm."
Chapter Five: A conversation you had with Pieck about her grief post-rumbling and planning for a wedding:
“Perfect, she can help us with the wedding planning, maybe wait till she’s old enough so she can be a little flower girl.” 
Warmly you smiled at Pieck, touched that she wanted to involve Maisie in her wedding. She’d make the cutest flower girl for sure, steal the show from the new couple by accident, but Jean or Pieck wouldn’t care, Maisie couldn’t help it. 
“How is the wedding planning going?” 
“It’s…it’s a work in progress. Jean and I are so busy half of the time there’s barely any time to discuss. I know he for sure wants to try and have it back in Paradis.” 
“Really? How do you feel about that?” 
A shift in emotions crossed her face, weakly giving you that somber smile. Pieck was guarded, a lot more since the rumbling, losing everything like everyone else did, but also losing so much more at the same time. 
“I’m really not sure. His parents are back in Paradis so of course I understand that, but my dad is buried here and so is…everyone else.” 
Your heart clenched, remembering the day you attended the small funeral for Mr.Finger and not too long after helping with the small grave sight for the friends who never got to see the end of the war. Marcel, Porco, Bertholdt and Colt all had headstones made in commemoration, not too far from the town hall. Reiner, Annie and Pieck visited often, as did you before Maisie. Though small and something dear to the four of you, the gesture and connection was there. 
“I’m sure Jean understands.” 
“I haven’t mentioned it.” 
“Pieck…” 
She sighed, tapping her nails on the table and looking around the cafe. You had a feeling you knew why she hadn’t mentioned it to Jean, the almost relationship she had with Porco and the time it took for her to accept his death. Like Reiner, there was a weight that crashed down after the rumbling, the weight of losing everything and realizing you'll never get to see some people ever again. 
“I know I should, but I don’t want him to take it the wrong way.” 
“How would he take it the wrong way?” Questioning her gently, careful not to pry too much into her relationship. Maisie smacked at the table, innocently unaware of the heavy emotions hovering between you and Pieck. 
“I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking this. I just wanted to get married here, because… I want our friends to see us get married.” 
Anguish of a different kind came over you, reaching for Pieck’s hand and lightly squeezing it. The tonnage of losing people you considered family would never go away, shadowing over happy and joyful events that were intended for celebration. You felt a little bit of it after Maisie was born, wishing Bertholdt were here to meet his best friend's daughter. Reiner never said, but you knew.
“Talk to Jean about it, it’s your wedding too and I have a strong feeling he’ll understand and the two of you will come to a compromise.” 
The small signature smile came from her, nodding softly and squeezing your hand back finally."
Chapter Six: the aftermath of your daughter turning one:
"When he returned, you waited for him, curling into his chest when his arms came around you. The attempts to lull you to sleep with the gentle motions of his hand rubbing up and down began to work until you shifted and reached for your book. Instead of grabbing it from the drawer of your nightstand, your fingers grasped the soft fabric of something, pulling it out to reveal the baby blanket you brought Maisie home from the hospital in. You’d put it in there a long time ago so you’d never lose it, a small keepsake from when she was a newborn. 
Bottom lip trembling seeing how small the fabric was, instantly reminding you that at one point she was that small. You sniffled and let out a sob, clutching it to your chest and curling back into Reiner. He called your name repeatedly, confused by the sudden turn around of events. 
Finally, looking at him through the tears you spoke.
“She was so little, Reiner she was so little. What happened?” 
Unable to see the relieved smile on his face as you’d buried yours in his chest, Reiner bit back the little chuckle and squeezed you close. He held you while you cried, the emotions of your baby turning one crashing down all at once. If you knew all it took was looking at the blanket she came home in, then maybe you would’ve done this earlier, get all the emotions out beforehand. 
Pulling you away, Reiner wiped your tears and let out a sigh. His face read of endearing smugness, the kind when he knew eventually all your worries would be solved. Part of you felt as if he was simply waiting for a moment like this, knowing it was bound to come. 
“Do you feel better?” 
“No?! Our baby is one, I feel sick.” 
He laughed then, hauling you into his lap and using his hand to tuck your head under his chin, rocking you as if you were Maisie, which actually turned out to be kind of soothing. 
“It’s only going to get worse from here.” 
“Thanks, I feel so much better.” Sarcastically sniffling, rolling your eyes even if he couldn’t see. 
Kissing the top of your head, a mischievous chuckle rumbled in his throat, already knowing he was just going to continue to add on. 
“She’ll start talking in full sentences. Eventually waking us up in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with us.” 
“Stooop.” Whining on top of him, purposely interrupting his ramblings for the sake of your emotional stability. 
“Then she’ll be begging you to put bows in her hair, braid it and style it how you want. Insist on following you around everywhere, turning into a mini you.” 
“She’s already growing so fast, she walked for the first time all by herself today.” 
Unable to help the small sniffle and tears once you remember Maisie hit another milestone today, Reiner paused for a moment, bringing you up to look at him. His eyes were misty, the attempt to pester you backfired. 
“Yeah, but she’ll always be our little girl, our Maisie.” Whispering and fighting the tremble in his bottom lip with a weak smile. 
Thumbing over the quivering lip, you pressed a small kiss to his lips, curling back into him with your face pressed into the side of his neck."
Chapter Seven: Yours and Reiner's wedding vows.
Reiner's to you: "Instead of reaching for the cards stuffed in his pocket, his head dipped in one final composure of his emotions before looking back up to meet you in the eye. 
“From the moment I met you sixteen years ago it was love at first sight, even if ten year old me didn’t exactly know what that was, I can guarantee it was. When I had to leave for Paradis the first time all those years ago, I promised myself I would make it back, not for Marley or the brass but for you. I didn’t have a grasp on why my heart yearned for you all those years away, but I finally understood when I saw you standing there on that dock, meeting me in each other's arms.” His voice shook further and further with every word he spoke, noticing the two tear stains on your cheeks. Sucking in a deep breath, Reiner kissed your knuckles and continued. 
“You didn’t have to care for me the way you did when I returned, didn’t have to reassure a broken man who saw himself so unworthy in his own eyes, didn’t have to stay up late with me all those nights when I couldn’t sleep, but you did. You showed me unconditional love and understanding after five years apart, never judged when at the time that was all I felt deserving of. You mended the broken pieces of my heart and soul with your attentive care, brought the light back into my dark life, helped me push through each day. You were my second chance at life, my reason to keep going even when I thought living to my thirties was never going to happen. So when I saw you again in Fort Salta, I promised myself to be the man you deserve, be the father our daughter deserves, because there aren’t enough words to express how much I love you, how much you mean to me and how you shape this heart of mine, I never want to leave this world without saying I love you.” 
Yours to Reiner: "The faint sniffles from the friends and family watching on was nothing but a buzz in his ears, training his eyes on yours and watching the emotion swirl. Reiner kissed your hands one last time, holding them between your bodies and waiting for you to speak. When you were composed enough, you let out a little laugh with the tremble in your lip. 
“Crossing paths with you changed my life forever, even if our first encounter was brief. I will admit I never understood the infatuation you had for me, why you pestered me endlessly and always ended up by my side. When I dropped out of the program, I was scared I wouldn’t get to see you again, but of course you made it a point to walk with me to and from the headquarters, even if it potentially made you late to training. I realized my crush for you right before you left, feeling so blindsided and wondering if I’d ever get to see the bright blonde boy who loved to point out the butterflies on our walks home again.” 
Your hands shook in his, Reiner quickly seeing the turn of your emotions for what you were about to say next, bracing himself for the tears that were building in his waterline and the lump rising in his throat. 
“When you did return, I was so happy to have my best friend back, so excited to mess around like before you left, but I realized that boy was buried deep inside you. I knew you weren’t lost completely even though some nights spent in your apartment I questioned if there was a light at the never ending tunnel. I never had any concrete reasoning for staying by your side when you returned, just wanting you to be okay and scared I would lose the one person who made my heart flutter when I saw them. I know you feel as if you’ll never truly be the man I deserve and I want to tell you that you’re wrong. You’ve always been a man worth loving, a man worth a life full of happiness and health, worthy of a family and friends who see you for who you are. You’ve always been the other half of my heart before I even realized it and I could live a thousand lifetimes and still not be able to tell you how much I love you.” 
Chapter eight: Yours and Reiner's daughter feeling her younger sibling kick for the first time.
"Smiling at the following question, Maisie crawled over your leg to get to Reiner, climbing onto him like a tree and poking next to the corner of his eye. You watched as he praised her for the correct answers and the gentle correction at the wrong ones. Reiner went over the features of his face until he started to point to different ones and wait for her to respond. And Maisie did flawlessly, still working on some of the pronunciations but both of you knew what she was trying to say. 
“Baby.” 
Your daughter had rotated her head in your direction, pointing at your stomach. Reiner shared a look of awe with you, neither of you had mentioned that often there was a baby in your stomach but Maisie knew and both of you were a little shocked to say the least. 
“That’s right, there's a baby in Mommy’s tummy.” Patting the center of your abdomen as you confirmed her observation. Even though Maisie had just pointed it out, she looked a little perplexed, moving to sit between you and Reiner, staring at your stomach. 
Lifting the hem of your shirt until the small bump was revealed, you rested your hand at the crown, watching your daughter's eyes widen in even more fascination. Like she was scared something was to happen, Maisie reached her tiny hand out and rested it on the side of your stomach. Eyes blinking so slowly as her mind turned with pondering, working out the complexities of your pregnancy that she now suddenly became aware of. 
A flutter rippled under your hand, barely noticeable at first but when the action repeated your eyes widened. If you were correct, the baby just kicked for the first time, and patiently you waited to see if they would do it again. 
“Reiner.” 
“Hm?” Taking his eyes off of Maisie to see what you wanted, having to balance his weight quickly as you grabbed his wrist to place his hand where yours was. At first he questioned what you were doing until he felt the tiny kick. The air in his throat hitched, body completely frozen as he waited for the baby to do it again. Maisie had been watching you two, not sure why your eyes were wide and bodies so still, so she moved her hand next to Reiner’s, feeling left out. 
Instantly, your husband guided her hand to where his once was, placing his comically larger one over Maisie’s and waiting on bated breath for the baby to hopefully kick just one more time. It would be an experience for your daughter, feeling her sibling kick in the womb in her presence and you hoped they would cooperate. 
Sighing in relief when the kick came, Maisie jolted a little, unsure of what that was, looking back at Reiner for answers. 
“That’s your brother or sister Mais, say hi.” Speaking softly by her ear and smiling with pride, encouraging his daughter to greet her sibling. 
“Hi…” 
You were melting on the spot, seeing Maisie timidly acknowledge the baby even if they couldn’t hear her, Reiner sharing the same look as you. A few moments passed with occasional kicks and Reiner guiding his daughter's hand around your stomach to entice them to keep making their presence known. With each one, Maisie smiled, even if she wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling, she knew just by the looks on yours and Reiner’s face that it was a good thing. 
When the kicks couldn’t be felt anymore, you pulled your shirt back down and curled up next to Reiner, with Maisie beginning to doze off in your lap. The soft pats from your palm and the occasional threading of your fingers in her hair, she loses her battle with sleep quickly."
Chapter nine: doubts about being a good mom.
"“What’s wrong?” Murmuring, letting your hands fall in your lap and running his own up and down your arms. As he waited for your response, he tried to think of any possible reason why you could be upset, wanting to have his own comforting words ready the moment you were. 
“I’m just worried over everything .” 
Reiner softened, nodded for you to keep going. “I feel stupid for all this anxiety when we’ve already done this, but what if Maisie doesn’t like the baby and lashes out? How am I going to take care of two kids when you’re at work? What if I can’t-” 
“You can.” Cutting you off despite knowing there was probably so much more on your mind you needed to voice. A deep sigh exhaled through his nose, taking a moment to wipe your tears and kiss the little salt stains they left behind on your now flushed cheeks. Understanding how you felt, feeling similar to before Maisie was born, Reiner moved to take you into his arms for an embrace. The soft strands of your hair tickled the side of his face, threading through with his fingers for further comfort. He could hear the further cries into his shoulder, letting his arms tighten around you. 
“I know it’s been a lot for you recently, but sweetheart you know I’m going to be here. You know I’m going to go out of my way to be there and help you out, even if I am at work.” Pulling you away so he could look you in the eyes as he spoke. Reiner couldn’t help but give a silent chuckle when he scanned over your face, looking so much like Maisie when she got upset. Dipping down for a small soft kiss, he held the sides of your face as he gave you the most affectionate look he could muster. 
“You are an incredible woman, mother and wife. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that you won’t be able to handle both of them because you’re smart, caring and face every obstacle with a calm, sound mind. Everything is going to work out one way or another.” Affirming to you once more that there wasn’t anything you couldn’t do nor face alone if Reiner could help it. His commitment would always be to you no matter what, be there for you like you were for him in trying times. Even if he were away and you needed him, Reiner would break and bend laws to be by your side, it was the least he could do for all that you had done for him. 
“I just don’t know why I’m so worked up over this?” Wiping your nose on the back of your hand, looking up at him and then back down to your stomach. Reiner followed your gaze, carefully climbing over you to sit beside you, quickly checking on Maisie as she napped. 
“Because it’s an entirely new situation, for the both of us, double the responsibility. We don’t know what it's like to raise more than one kid and that’s okay, it’s all about figuring it out as we go.” Running his finger lightly over your bump, then palming it in the center. Reiner would admit that he’d had thoughts like yours recently, nothing to this extreme, moreso worried about the present, forcing himself the reminders that he would face the future when it came. 
“Yeah.” 
Your response was plain, but reduced of the worry and uncertainty. Hooking the hand on your bump under your chin, Reiner laid the last of his comfort into the kiss he pressed to your lips. Whatever anxiety remained, melted off of you as you kissed him back, quickly wrapped in the blanket that were his words and actions. Reiner kissed your forehead, reaching over to bring Maisie back to his arms. 
“You’ll be okay, I’ll always make sure of it.” 
Slouching against the headboard once he was readjusted, he reached for your hand, stroking his thumb over the top. Whatever life had to throw this way, Reiner made the same promise over and over again, to be everything and more to you, till the day he drew his last breath."
Chapter ten: dealing with postpartum depression after yours and Reiner's son his born.
“I’m sorry.” Trembling words left your lips, sounding so pathetic and weak. You were pulled off so you could look him in the eyes, concern laced with sternness was what you were met with. 
“For what?” Asking as if it were a rhetorical question, holding the side of your tear swollen face and dabbing a few of the tears away with his hand. 
“For…for I don’t know, he wouldn’t calm down or stop crying and I tried everything but it wouldn’t work.” 
Your husband somehow softened and hardened at your words. Reiner wasn’t truly upset with the situation, moreso with the fact that you immediately turned apologetic for being unable to calm Gabriel down. There were no signs that this was inherently your fault, and Reiner knew things would be testy with your emotions a good while after giving birth. Navigating these emotions were like walking on crack glass high in the sky, stepping lightly and weighing his words and actions to keep from everything shattering. It pained him like no other that you were a mush of emotions, knowing how mentally taxing it was on you. If somehow it were possible for him to carry all of that for you, he would. 
“Sweetheart, there’s nothing to apologize for. Sometimes babies get that way and it just takes more time to calm them down, you know that.” Wrapping an arm around your waist and hauling you into his lap. Dexterous fingers glided along your flushed, tear stained cheeks, looking at you with pure adoration. Reiner knew you were bearing the weight of being strong and capable as he returned to work earlier than expected. He hated that you felt the need to do that, his promises were still true and he would uphold every last one to ensure your emotional and mental health. 
“But you just got home from work and immediately had to take care of the situation. I didn’t even have dinner ready, nor did I greet you.” Your words turned into apologetic ramblings, overexplaining to make up for the situation at hand. 
Sweetheart,” Brushing a thumb along your bottom lip to quiet the shaking words leaving your lips. “It’s okay, I don’t expect any of that when I get home. I care about seeing the three of you, that’s it. And it doesn’t matter if I just walked in the door and you need help, I’m your husband and their dad, it's the bare minimum of what’s expected of me.” 
His words were like a wall of truth smacking you in the face, not wanting to accept it. Your husband deserved to come home and relax for a bit before jumping into parental duties, at least that was your reasoning. Reiner already had so much to handle and throwing more on him just felt…wrong. It was a way of showing your appreciation towards him, a little out of the ordinary but you couldn’t think of any other way at the moment. 
“I’m just-'' Taking in a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut for the confession you were about to let out. “I’m just so tired. They both need all of my attention and I want to do everything I can to give it to them but I feel so drained and I know that makes me sound like a bad mom. It’s not fair that you’re not here and it’s even worse for me to just dump more on your plate when you get home, I hate it and I feel like a failure.” 
Unable to look Reiner in the face, ashamed at the words that left your mouth, you buried your face in your hands, letting out pitiful little sobs. It was one thing to inwardly confess to feeling like a failure, but to voice it aloud to your husband struck you so much harder than you expected. Intentionally or not, you dubbed yourself as the strong one, the one to lean on instead of the other way around. Reiner never burdened you with that notion, that was all your doing and you knew that. Everything had gone so smoothly with Maisie, you’d admit your expectations were high with Gabriel. Naive thinking yes, but were you so wrong in thinking that? 
Settling for embracing you and pulling your hands away before he spoke, Reiner smoothed his hands over your back, rubbing circles to calm the pent up emotions inside you. He knew you held some resentment for him going back as early as he did and he couldn’t blame you. But for once he didn’t let that get inside his head, because at this moment he needed to be the rock to your support and not pity himself over something he couldn’t control. 
“You’re not a failure sweetheart. The fact that you’re so upset over this tells me how much you care.” Using age old lines he once heard over and over from you to offer the same reassurance and relief it brought him. “I know it can be hard to ask for help when you feel like you can handle everything, but you need to put yourself first sometimes. You are not just a mother, you’re a person with their own individual self that deserves to just have moments to yourself. It’s not selfish or greedy to want to be away from the kids for a bit, its healthy and that’s all I want for you angel.” 
Bringing yourself to look Reiner in the face, letting out a long somewhat defeated sigh, you gave a small nod. There were thousands of reasons why you loved Reiner, but his poetic words of reassurance were at the top of your list, the man stringing together words and sentences that were so beautifully conveyed that calmed your weary soul. Your husband was truly the better half of your and you couldn’t even imagine living in the world without him. 
“It’s not going to happen overnight.” Countering back a bit with slight humor in your tone, the tonnage of your inner struggles lifting slowly.
His lips curled into the softest smile, tracing the lines of your cheekbones and tilting his head in a small nod. “I know, but you’re not alone, you’re never alone and I want you to get used to leaning on me more when you need to. I’m never going to judge you for whatever is bothering you, nor your thoughts or feelings.”
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