#I am not romantically or sexually attracted to Jesus

[maganne-bonete]

Actually I'm coming into terms that I might have a divinity kink in this fine early start of the lenten season

[meowshroom1230]

Y’all ever wonder why it’s called the amazing digital circus when no one in the amazing digital circus is from a circus? Well so did I… at 1 am so i’m going to do my best to make sense of my late night ramblings:

Caine- Getting the obvious out of the way he’s the ringleader. Not much more to explain here, keeps the group together, etc.

Kinger- He would be the beast master. I made a point about gloinks in my ramblings but everyone interacted with them in the pilot. My real explanation is just the entirety of episode 3. He was the only one who could calm his wife, he knew how to handle the creature that attacked him and Pomni, and he keep Pomni safe when they were walking through an area infested with demon like creatures. “tHoSe ArEn’T rEaL aNiMaLs!” HIS CONNECTION WITH BUGS THEN. He has an undeniable attachment to bugs and while he might not be taming them I’m sure he could if he wanted to

Gangle- She’s the tightrope walker. She is constantly teetering between being too much and not enough often putting herself at risk often. Depending how you saw the truck scene (either a as a rep for su!c!dal thoughts or just a funny truck-kun reference, goose said those scene was up for interpretation), she could also be teetering the line between life and abstraction. Gangle is in some kind of danger and it is up to her to save herself, until she makes it to the other side.

Ragatha- Now this one you gotta hear me out on, but she is the bearded woman. LISTEN, some interpretations of a beard that aren’t just facial hair are linked to covering up something. A beard in the US can be someone who completes a transaction to cover someone else’s identity. A beard can also be a person who pretends to be in a romantic relationship with a person who they are not attracted to to cover for their sexuality. Using these terms of ‘beard’ as an example I concluded that Ragatha’s ‘beard’ is a cover up for her true feelings. Something’s off about her, and we got glimpses of that in episode 4. She’s not as happy and friendly as she’s made out to be. Now I don’t think it’s something dramatic like she’s evil or a villain, but she’s hiding something and she’s ashamed of it. Bearded women in history were often very ashamed of their beards and some thought the circus was their only way of having some value. Maybe Ragatha finds value in making people happy? Maybe that’s what her ai was programmed to do… but that’s a theory for another time :)

Pomni- Ok after a long one I felt another easy one was in place. Pomni is the clown. Jesters and clowns are often grouped together… but it’s also in how she’s treated. She’s often the butt of physical comedy jokes, she often finds herself in pain because of the circumstances surrounding her. I don’t think she’s trying to be funny but because of the situation she’s in she’s forced to be the clown of the circus. She also keeps everyone ‘entertained’. She’s prevented at least one, if not 2 people from abstracting. I believe that her presence does more than she realizes. Also when first joining the circus i guess who she replaced…

Jax- Now here’s where my ideas are mostly based on vibes and headcanons, so i understand if these are taking more with a grain of salt. Jax is the contortionist. A contortionist isn’t someone you’d think would be in a circus at first glance, i mean they’re just a regular person right? Nothing special about them- JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE YOU BENT LIKE THAT. Now Jax isn’t bending his body into weird shapes… but i think his emotions are. There’s something beneath Jax’s surface of annoying attitude. We see hints of emotion break in only spans of seconds. I can count on one hand the number of seconds we’ve seen a genuine emotion from Jax. I think he’s forcing himself to bend to what others think he should be. People think he’s an asshole? Well then he has to be that way 24/7 or else… something. That’s the only part I haven’t figured out yet. Is he scared of rejection? of vulnerability? caring about someone? That’s the only thing I can’t figure out about him. So just in case I’m wrong about this Im giving him a secondary option… the acrobat. He’s still preforming but he isn’t hiding some tbh in him this version. He’s doing this for himself because either way he gets the attention that he wants. The acrobat is more focused on gaining and keeping attention then hiding anything about himself.

Zooble- Another loose one… I’m pretty sure we’ve had no more than 20 lines from them an episode. Zooble is the oracle. They seem to know so much about the circus despite not going on many adventures. They stay in one place more often than not. They tell you the truth whether or not you like it. They’ve been around for a while and will probably be there for a long time. I don’t know how Zooble knows what they know but they’re quite sure about it. They also stay strong to the ideas that they’ve figured out and refuse to change their mind. Caine is an excellent example, they seem assume things about Caine that most of the members wouldn’t even think of, yet Zooble is very certain in themselves. But because this one is also loose I’m also giving them a secondary, as the contortionist. If it isn’t Jax then it’s definitely Zooble… but for different reasons. Zooble clearly has issues with how they look and often want to change themselves, contorting in every way possible to just find something that’s comfortable. Contortionists suffer pain later in life due to their abilities, forcing them to keep moving their bodies in odd positions just to be comfortable. Zooble could be the same way but in a much more literal sense, forcing to have to try more parts just to find something that works for them.

Here’s the ramblings of anyone else wants to make sense of them lol

[reiriar]

CALLING ALL QUEERS, HELP ME W THIS ONE YALL

so so soo... i am having a bit of difficulty with understanding my sexuality. look now.. ive never felt attracted towards ANYONE in a romantic or sexual manner. i just. dont know how it works and all. and im sure that i am aroace. but theres this small bug in me screaming gay gay gay and i honestly do not know why. maybe i do like girls. i like the idea of living with a beloved someone. but AGAIN (help me jesus christ) i just dont know. help mememe

id like to understand myself and my feelings in a better manner, thats all.

[i-fucking-hate-ppl]

Hello! I see that you write for Hazbin Hotel, I hope I'm not being a bother but I'd like to request Alastor with a friend/significant other that identifies as non binary. Seeing as he's from a time period where LGBTQ people weren't exactly accepted I wonder what his opinion would be. Would he be homophobic? Or would he be confused/slightly weirded out and need someone to explain to him for him to understand and accept?

You're hardly a bother dearie! I hope you enjoy!

Platonic

He would be confused and most certainly has no clue what you're going on about! Those terms hardly existed in his time, or at least weren't common knowledge, it was all just slurs unfortunately.

Even with his time in hell, he was too busy off doing his.. broadcasts and whatnot to become better educated on the subject.

Once you explain it he will.. still be rather confused but he's quite the polite and proper man, a gentleman really, so he won't ever say anything bad.

Just a "Oh! Well that's.. quite interesting!"

He might say some offensive things from time to time, on accident of course. A small correction is all that's needed.

"Sorry my dear! I wasn't aware!"

And that's that, he'll never say it again.

He tries to be respectful, and tries to avoid bringing it up so he won't offend you. And rather brings his question to random ass people he finds because he doesn't give two fucks about them.

If you start mentioning asexual he'll be like oh hey, that's me! Haha!

Obviously he gets better with time, and it's something you two bond over with a cup of tea.

"And he dared to misgender me, after i politely corrected him! What a prick am I right?"

"Most definitely dear. I could take care of him, if you wish."

"...Uh like bring him soup when he's sick or..."

Or

"A man came onto me on my way back this evening."

"Jesus! I hope he got what he deserved!"

"He most certainly did! I ripped his dick off! Haha!"

"...Good for you? I mean uh, you go!"

Sometimes you're slightly concerned by him..

Romantic

As stated before, confused and has no idea what you are talking about.

Although this time he is more interested, you are his lover after all, he should try to understand to his full extent!

He will ask you many questions, and word them very carefully so he won't upset you. And anything he think may be slightly offensive, well it's back to torturing questioning the information out of homeless people.

"You should have told me sooner dear! It's hardly an issue at all! I have no problem with the community, be a giraffe for all I care!"

"You shouldn't have a problem with the community since you're an ace in the hole, also that's.. a little bit offensive."

"A what now?"

Further explanation needed. He's heard it twice now, tell him.

Once you explain he'll realize that you were most certainly correct! Any sexual attraction towards you is very, very far and few between and most of the time he'd much rather just sit and read a book with you with some jazz playing from a radio in the backround.

He won't treat you any differently than he did before hand. <3

[eddiesghxst]

guys yes yes i am a genius

i don’t know if you’re up to writing a perv!eddie but him and trevor are very very similar.

trevor makes more than sexual remarks, he’s disgusting in an attractive way. eddie does the same thing, he’s a stalker, if he lived in modern times he’d use your panties as a face mask, he will wake you up because your arms are around him and he gets an erection for the tenth time that night i’m not exaggerating

so i want to bring your attention to when you go see eddie play at the hideout one night, you’re starting to see him more romantically than platonically now. you wearing a short jean skirt and a white tank top with no bra that your boobs are very very visible in (my outfit rn) you’re sexy in the way that it makes eddie’s heart stop in his throat and his thighs clench as he plays guitar (shirtless?)

anyway when he meets you backstage, he’s slipping his hands under the skirt, rubbing the undersides of your thighs as you pull him closer with your belt loop. youre wrapping one arm around his neck, the other pressed against a chest tattoo.

you tell him that he has a groupie, leaving a lipstick mark on top of the tattoo

kissing him open mouth so hard and so passionately it makes his head spin (the kind of head spin when you get an orgasm and you can’t think of anything else but how good you feel except you’re literally only kissing him)

every time he punches someone for looking at y’all while you make out, every single time you tell him you can’t stand him when he does it with a small smile

every time he puts his hands in your back pockets, caressing your ass and he kisses your jaw while telling you that you can have anything you want, you can call him any name in the book if you kiss him like that one more time.

🫶 anon

oh i want him so bad jesus christ

18+ — MINORS DNI

————

eddie goes insane for you in every way shape and form, and it only intensifies after his shows. it’s a larger crowd tonight so he’s pumped on adrenaline and nerves, shredding his guitar and singing like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get to do it and you— god, you look so fucking good and it’s egging eddie on in ways he can’t explain.

the skirt you’re wearing is short, clings to your hips and thighs so deliciously eddie can’t wait to sink his teeth into you afterwards. cant wait to slip his hands under and squeeze your plushy skin until you squeal for him. cant wait to push your flimsy good-for-nothing tank top up and suck your tits into his mouth like a starved man.

and you’re just so excited for the band and how good they performed, you hardly pay attention to eddie’s hunger gaze as you walk up to them cheerfully, telling them how good they did and how proud you are.

eddie presses up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, dipping his head into the crevice of your neck and breathing in that intoxicating fucking perfume you always spray that makes him harder than a goddamn rock. he groans and you giggle, tilting your head against his as your hands rest over his large ones, squeezing as you turn in his hold to face him.

you praise him as you pepper kisses all over his face and eddie smiles, says a quick thank you before digging his teeth into his lower lip and letting his hands trail over your ass. you squirm as his hands dip beneath the denim skirt you have on. “where do you think you’re going looking this pretty, princess?” he growls, nipping at your ear as he squeezes the fat of your ass.

and you’re so thankful the lighting in the hideout is shot to shit and eddie has you pushed into a corner because nobody seems to see your boyfriend push up the back of your skirt to fully grasp your ass, thumbs dipping below the black thin string of your thong before he cracks a palm down on your skin. you yelp his name and push at him, “eddie,” you whine, “there’s people here.”

eddie chuckles and pulls down your skirt, “sorry, sweetheart. just can’t help it when it comes to you, you know that.”

and he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself for the rest of the night so you result to sucking him off in the restroom. not the first or last time it’s happened.

————

ALSO, bestie i did my research and i swear trevor and eddie are distant relatives bc omg😭😭😭 the mannerisms are so alike i screamed

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

you've said in a Side B post "I’m side B. I would be side A but 1) I have 17 years of internalized homophobia to work thru, 2) I’ve searched the passages and this is my interpretation, and 3) even when I do buy into other interpretations I can’t tell if i believe it because it’s true or because I want it to be."

do you think being Side B is inherently homophobic?? if you interpret the bible as condemning homosexuality where does that interpretation come from? or have you changed your mind and you're side A now

Hello, anonie <33

So, you asked 3 questions

"do you think being Side B is inherently homophobic??" No. As for my earlier comments, I definitely should've phrased that better but no I do not believe Side B is inherently homophobic, though many people seem to think so.

"if you interpret the bible as condemning homosexuality where does that interpretation come from?" So for me this is really important: 1) I do not interpret the bible condemning homosexuality ("the quality or characteristic of being sexually or romantically attracted to people of one's own sex"). 2) My thoughts on this subject have nothing to do with clobber passages. Leviticus, Romans, 1 Corinthians, Galatians, 1 Timothy. I do not agree with an interpretation of any of these passages that they are talking about homosexuality. Nor, at the end of the day, do I think that would even matter. When Jesus is asked about marriage and divorce in Matthew, he does not turn to Deuteronomy or Exodus or Leviticus or Numbers. He turns to Genesis 1-2. And when he looks there he sees God ordain marriage for purpose of 1 humanity becoming 2 persons who become 1 again thru covenant. I've said it before and I'll say it till I die, the answer to almost everything is on the first 3 pages of Genesis. And when I look there, I see two humans, man and woman, get married.* And then no where do I see a compelling argument for any same sex marriage. (not even my beloved David and Jonathan). As such, I can't do it in good faith.

"or have you changed your mind and you're side A now?" So, as stated above, I am not side A even though I would wish to be. That said, my thoughts on the subject are very much influenced by Romans 14, which talks about people in the faith who are stronger and weaker. Now what exactly this "weaker" and "stronger" means is actually up for debate but for this convo we'll go with the conventional interpretation of having weaker or stronger faith. The debate at hand is about food, among other things: can we eat meat sacrificed to idols. Those with stronger faith believe that "Yes, we can eat food sacrificed to idols, it's perfectly fine." Meanwhile, another group thinks that "No we shouldn't eat food sacrificed to idols." And so there is a lot of contempt and hatred and pride and Paul says they all need to settle down and humble themselves, devoting themselves not to arguments and judgement but to love for each other and allegiance to God. Whether they eat or abstain, they do it in thanksgiving and allegiance to God. And so neither are sinning.

"I know and am convinced through the Lord Jesus that nothing is profane in itself; but to the one who thinks something is profane, to them it is profane. For if because of food your sibling is hurt, you are no longer walking in accordance with love. Do not destroy with your food they for whom the Anointed One died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be blasphemed; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but right relationships and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For the one who serves the Anointed One in this is acceptable to God and approved by people. So then we pursue the things of peace and the things of the building up of one another. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the person who eats by offense. It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your sibling stumbles. The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is the one who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But the one who doubts is condemned if they eats, because it is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is failure."

This is my thoughts on the matter. I believe firmly that if a person searches God and the scriptures and they believe with confidence that God has blessed them and who they love, then I desire to see them married. And I praise God for the faith they have. I myself, tho, do not have that faith and so remain as I am.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 2 Group A Match 4

expand for propaganda ↓ (major wall-of-text warning. don't say I didn't warn you) (nazi reference has been removed)

KD Lang:

"She's a lesbian (+100 points) and she was just really hot back then (+10000 points)"

"incredibly clear, sensual mezzo soprano voice -- kd lang's music literally transports you into the narrative of the song. they have a very charismatic appeal that makes them very attractive amazing bone structure and i love the short, choppy hair on top of that their fashion sense is peak, from the 1992 miss chatelaine ballroom dress to the suit on the august 1993 vanity fair cover to the shoulder-length hair and orange jacket on 1995's "all you can eat" i would literally give my life for kd lang i'm obsessed"

"VOTE KD LANG IF YOU LOVE LESBIANS. (AND YOU SHOULD LOVE LESBIANS)"

Jarvis Cocker:

"if jarvis wins I'm mailing him my underwear"

"I just want to tuck him in bed and read to him fairytales while he sips a cup of cocoa please is that to much"

"Jarvis Cocker and Jesus Christ share the same initials so that means that they are one flesh meaning that if you love Jesus you love Jarvis and vice versa"

"jarvision the best division 🫡"

"if jarvis wins I'll read The Hobbit in latin"

"I flew to London a couple of weeks ago and the first thing that I did was take the tube to waterstones picadilly and spend there about an hour looking for jarvis' book that they didn't have. Then I made my way (in the rain without an umbrella) to Foyles to see if they had it there and, again, they didn't have it."

"he's 6'3"

"I have never been more sexually attracted to a man than Jarvis cocker in the this is hardcore mv. I want to flatten him out with a rolling pin like pizza dough and then smack him against the wall. I am so horny I should be shot."

"Everytime I see jarvis cocker videos or pics I twirl my hair, kick my legs and giggle uncontrollably. Or I bite my arm and scream. I'm so mesmerised by his beautiful doe eyes and his weird dances that often lean very sexual. He's everything"

"the way jarvis' body is built is just extraordinary yknow like his spindly buglike legs"

"all I want in life is to take a shower with him and wash that greasy ass lice looking hair for once"

"Jarvis Cocker's last name is Cocker = he should win cuz cock haha"

"I want to spoon-feed him my grandma's chicken soup"

"I want to cock you jarvis <3333333"

"hottest most delicious looking man on earth"

"I didn't rant about him in English lang for him not to win"

"I love him a lot he looks like an insect ♥️"

"Jarvis cocker this is hardcore mv. No guillotine could take away the sloppy, disgusting, throbbing, dripping head I would give that man"

"never wanted a man so bad in my life, he looks like a pretty girl whilst having such a nice deep northern sheffield voice, i want him so bad i'm gonna be genuinely upset if my future bf doesn't look like him"

"apparently a girl he had slept with noted that he made sure that he satisfied all her needs in bed IM JUST GONNA LEAVE THIS INFO HERE AND YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH THAT CUZ"

"need to have car sex with him whilst moving his greasy bangs out the way with my fingers"

"i went all the way to ireland to cure my hyperfixation but im still dreaming about the insect man 😍 i want to do the dishes with him"

"Jarvis is the kind of man that will tell you in explicit detail how much he likes to be pegged"

"currently smashing his sheffildian buttocks"

"I'd like to put my head on his shoulder right by his neck and just stay there, with his somewhat shaved beard making contact with my face and some strands of his hair coming loose and caressing me"

"is it zoophilic of me to say that I'm attracted to his insect looking way"

"Jarvis is everything! 90s Jarvis is a sarcastic smart bitter horny devil. 2000s Jarvis is a romantic fool. Current Jarvis? Lyrically, he is still both the horniest and most romantic and imho has the sexiest speaking voice of his generation. I used to listen to his BBC 6 radio show and when he said my name on air during their listener special I lost my goddamn mind. Celebrate the anniversary of it annually."

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Safu

I am adding my vote because the yaoi may be canon in this one but Safu is still Shion's best friend and the way ppl leave her out of stuff sucks ass. Her character development was the ONE thing the anime had over the novels and manga but even the anime only fans won't look at her. She literally said "I want your sperm" out loud with her mouth in a train station to ask her best friend to date her. Weird girl extraordinaire who became bee jesus people need to stop sleeping on her for the guys.

She has a crush on Shion and makes it quite known She also asked for Shion's semen once

Neurodivergent queen! She autismed her way through puberty so hard, she thought her feelings for the protagonist Shion were purely sexual, until she spent time away from him to grow as a person

Annabeth Chase

I feel like fandom is kinda split on her with percabeth shippers loving her but any m/m shipper I've seen does not like her, really. She is my bae tho <3

Percabeth antis grind my gears so much because they never hate Percy, nono, even though he's arguably done more questionable stuff than Annabeth. Not everyone who hates her is doing so because of a mlm ship— the Perachel stans claim that Annabeth is a misogynist. However, basically everyone that isn't trying to ship her boyfriend with Rachel is trying to ship him with Jason, Nico, or her old friend Luke. They make her out to be this horrible abusive girlboss(derogatory) that she's simply... not. She doesn't insult Percy for having ADHD just because she's highly intelligent. She doesn't physically abuse him, and doesn't lay a finger on him outside of training. She's really devoted to him in a non-anti-feminist way. They just hate her for 'getting in the way' of Nico's convoluted attraction to Percy, or Jason's close friendship with him, or Luke's rivalry with him. But those relationships all flourish the way they were intended by the author: non-romantically. It's not Annabeth's fault for being intelligent or capable or jokingly snide or determined or any of those non-stereotypically-feminine qualities. She's just out here existing and people hate her for not being a man. Sorry for the rant.

She's canonically in a relationship with Percy Jackson for most of the books they're in, but he often gets paired in canon with other male characters, such as Nico di Angelo or Jason Grace. In fan fiction (especially yaoi focused ones) she's characterized as being a stuck up know it all, but she gets into plenty of shenanigans in canon and can be pretty goofy and sweet!

I think I may have accidently used fanart for Annabeth's picture, if you have official art of her, send it in!

[innitmarvellous]

Yeah, I know, I said the last ace rant was the final part, but the third aspec book I read ('Sounds Fake But Okay') annoyed me again, lol. It wasn't all bad, but some bits...

Except that it doesn't? It never has? People say they love their friends or their family, or a character from a TV show? Or also idk, God or Jesus if they're religious. None of these imply romantic love even without specifying anything.

Well, good for her, but that's not much of a comfort, isn't it? So we'll inevitably die alone, but we don't need to fear that because we can still have friends - who'll desert us once they find a partner. Yes, well, that's certainly very nice :/

Lol, maybe that's why my existence is so "unrecognisable" then. Because I literally didn't have any friends before I started to use social media etc. And even know my biggest fear is too annoying, too boring, too whatever else for everyone - and I have a hard time to make out whether the people I consider friends consider me as such too 😭

Well, this part was at least relatable, even if I never thought about this before. Then again, it might have been the other way round for me. Being a girl/woman was literally never very important for me, and I never felt the need to adhere to gender norms just because it's expected. E.g. I never thought I needed/wanted to be pretty to be attractive for men. So it sort of did felt like things made sense when I realised that there is indeed no need for me to attact anyone with my physical looks.

---

The chapter about QPRs made me realise that this isn't an option for me either. The insecurities around this form of relationship would be simply too much for me. Like, having to agree on what the relationship looks like, what kind of things would be alright or not alright (re physical contact and all kinds of intimacy etc), how long it might last and all that...it would be near impossible to agree on anything like that once I would put in my wishes in that regard. Because it wouldn't feel right to push my demands on someone else, and yet I'm way too selfish because I also wouldn't want to live in a way another person wants me too. So...I think that's another dream I might as well bury right now, before I got into it too much. ^^

---

Yet another general thing: the books usually mentioned that we should think about what we would expect from a relationship and I did give this some thought. I think the main - and honestly almost only - prerequisite for me would be that any potential partner would accept me as I am. Well, and some mutual trust would be high up on the list, too. That's literally all I need, I think. I wouldn't mind if e.g. in case it's an allo person and they would have someone else to fulfill their sexual needs or whatever, as long as I could be sure of still having a relationship based on trust with them.

Yes, I know that this is already asking for way too much. I'm only too aware of that, so maybe it's understandable why I'm so frustrated. I know I should do it, but I'm too selfish to lower my standards, so there isn't much hope for me and I hate it :/

[super-hero-confessions]

Okay.

Peter B. Parker is a middle aged married man in his 40s with a baby.

Miles Morales is an underaged teenager who looks up to him like a mentor.

I swear to God, fandom needs to relearn how to PLATONICALLY ship characters.

Because anything other than PLATONIC between these two is a LITERAL CRIME AND GROOMING.

Jesus fucking Christ, not every single dynamic shown between two characters HAS to be romantic.

God damn it. You people are getting worse than the people that always assume two straight people of opposite sex cannot simply be friends.

Or that a gay person is somehow attracted to EVERY person of the same sex they see and will immediately hit on or try to convert them if straight.

Well I guess I'm well and fucked because I'm pansexual! NO FRIENDS FOR ME!

I am so tired of fandom's overt OVER sexualization of absolutely everything.

And I get it. People are horny. AUs should be allowed, why not? You can't really stop them.

But this is coming from someone who actually adores and fully stands behind sexual liberation and proper sex education.

Y'all need to take a step back.

[seth-burroughs]

mdarc chapter 1 rewatch part 4 let's goooooo gamersss

halara is here. "i have no obligation to help others, but i work sincerely according to the payment i receive" "to believe in another is the shallowest concept one can uphold" yes halara as you should. striking them with the npd hammer

ok so i stopped doing this for like a week or two because lammergeiers swarmed my apartment and started tearing out my bones and eating them in front of me. really sad story. anyway i heard seth literally appears just next scene aint that something huh

watching the sidequests needless to say yomi brain is very uncomfortable rn

seh

why the fuck did he bring flowers. somebody make a 40 paragraph essay on why he showed up with a fucking bouquette at his house

i missed the jp pronunciation of their names. sezu barozu. yomi herusumairu. suwaro electro. halara nightomero

everybody else in the game either has some sort of odd unusual name combos and then theres seth burroughs of the british isles

awkward and bitter exes forced to look at each other for the first time since the divorce in which yakou took the kids and then lost them at castorama shortly after

i might have been joking but why the fuck do they talk like exes. hey what the fuck is this scene

return of the megaphone. i forgot he has a megaphone because my memory is comparable to the warrior cats writing team

that was the loudest crunchiest fucking sigh i ever heard i am wheezing. everybody stop whatever youre doing go search for the jp dub mdarc playthrough of this scene you need to listen to this shit

i love seth's shit eating grin. i wish for nothing more than to smash his skull against the wall repeatedly in a romantic sense

"this flower... its beautiful, isnt it?" there is something deeply wrong with you. find jesus

i cannot with this fucking exchange. i cannot. i cannot. this is fucked. seth is a fucked up character. i am so fucking scared. wiki help me

this laugh is so fucked up too. also through this entire conversation i feel like a child that is forced to witness their parents fighting in the living room

bye seth that was an ethereal experience and i will now go to sleep aware that i am from this moment on apparently sexually attracted to all Makoto, Fake Zilch, Martina and Seth now and I got no idea on what to do about it to be honest i shall uhh make up a strategy in my bed gettinh all cozy and shit or something

My biggest accomplishment of today was to stand up for a few minutes to get zoomies then resume being too tired to function

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Ok I have confusion

(This is a very queer confusion so buckle up)

So. Like. What's the difference between romantic love and platonic love? Normally, I'd be like "sex" but in thinking about it, that's a false dichotomy. People have sex with people they aren't in love with all the time and vice versa; that's a different axis of relationships. I'm not talking about physical expression or sexual desire, I'm talking about love the...emotion? Love the action? Because if you remove the physical axis, what's the difference?

I am genuinely confused. I went to a Jesus school and they were very big on Love is An Action Verb, it's not mushy emotions, it's something you do. We also learned about the different Greek words for types of love like philos (brotherly) eros (sexual) and agape (unconditional). Maybe another kind that's familial idk. Again, learned it at Jesus School, large chance something in there is incorrect.

So if having sex isn't the main definer of romantic love, what's the difference between romantic and platonic? Like the definition of platonic is based around what it is not (romantic or sexual attraction) but those aren't the same thing. Because you can have a romantic relationship without sexual attraction so it seems to hold that you can have a platonic relationship WITH sexual attraction. And some definitions are like "it's only the outward expression of physical desire that makes it romantic vs platonic" which seems incredibly incorrect I'm probably just going to disregard that

I feel like this is something I'm supposed to intrinsically "know" like I'm supposed to innately understand the difference between romantic and platonic bc they just feeeeel different like obviously the love you have for a family member is different from the love you have for a friend which is different from the love you have for a partner but it seems like the only actual differences are desire and physicality, and if you take away that axis (I keep thinking of it as a third dimension, sorry) what's the difference? I care about all of these people, I want them to be happy and healthy and spend time with me, I want to know what they like and don't, what they want out of life, I want them to be able to do what they want and be safe and take care of them, and the intensity with which I feel those things doesn't change the type of love it is (does it???)

Is the answer really just "it FEELS different, you'll just know it" or am I just missing a component here? Or did I accidentally open a can of queer worms?

[raointean]

"Hellfire" is way too relatable to young, queer Christians (or former Christians)

I'll elaborate

Fair warning, I'll be discussing the relationship between queerness (specifically sexuality), religion, and faith, homophobia, internalized homophobia, and misdirected blame.

I'll start this off by saying I was raised in a fairly conservative church from the age of 2 onward. I learned that homosexuality was a horrible sin, but that queer people needed love and support without acceptance. Basically, hate the sin, love the sinner.

And then I figured out I liked girls and proceeded to have a months-long crisis of faith that I couldn't talk to anyone about. "Hellfire" from The Hunchback of Notre Dame was actually a super helpful song in that time because, at its core, it is a song about sexuality and religion coming into conflict. (There's also a solid dose of racism and misogyny in that song, but that's a different post)

Beata Maria

You know I am a righteous man

Of my virtue I am justly proud

As a protestant, I prayed to God instead of Mary, but here, he's talking about the pride he takes in his status within the church. He's ashamed of his feelings, so he's puffing himself up defensively. He may also be trying to show Mary, "Hey, look at all I've done for you! I've done everything you asked! Why are you cursing me with this horrid disease?"

What he doesn't understand is that it's not a disease. He's just experiencing normal, human attraction and panicking because he's been taught that those feelings absolutely cannot co-exist with his position/faith.

Beata Maria

You know I'm so much purer than

The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd

Again, beefing himself up here. Also revealing his pridefulness.

Then tell me, Maria

Why I see her dancing there

Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul

I feel her, I see her

The sun caught in her raven hair

Is blazing in me out of all control

Women, dude. Women are gorgeous. Here, he's expressing his frustration at his own inability to control his "bad" feelings. He also seems to be asking Mary why God is punishing him with a temptation he's ill-equipped to handle. (God generally allows Christians to be tempted by such things so that we recognize how much we need Him, for anyone who's curious about the theology there).

Like fire

Hellfire

This fire in my skin

This burning

Desire

Is turning me to sin

Jesus says in Matthew 5 that thinking about sin (lust/adultery in this particular case) is just as bad as committing the sin itself in God's eyes. As I said above, God is probably trying to show Frollo that he's a sinful person just like everyone else, and shouldn't hold himself above everyone else. Unfortunately, Frollo didn't learn that lesson and, well, the rest of the movie happened.

In relation to queerness, since homosexuality is taught to be a sin, thinking about someone of the same sex as you in a romantic light is seen as just as bad as actually dating them. I use the romantic example instead of the attraction example because lust is a sin, but loving and wanting a relationship with someone is not! Young, queer people may have been taught that it is, however, which makes that last line particularly devastating.

It's not my fault

I'm not to blame

It is the g*psy girl

The witch who sent this flame

Now, he's trying to blame the person he's attracted to for his own feelings and absolve himself of blame. Unfortunately, for Christians who are discovering their attraction to fellow men or women, the guilt can be crushing! We're often taught about non-heterosexuality as one of the most taboo of sins! When you find out that you are "one of those heathen, godless gays" a lot of people will do everything in their power to get out from under the blame. Surely, it can't be their own fault! It must be the fault of the person they're attracted to, or that episode of glee they saw, or even God Himself for tempting them!

Obviously, this blame is misplaced. Queerness isn't caused. It just is. And like all of the other diversities God created, it has a place and a purpose.

It's not my fault

If in God's plan

He made the devil so much

Stronger than a man

Mood. Frollo has switched from blaming Esmeralda for his attraction to blaming God. (Also, if this were sung by a woman, that "made the devil so much stronger than a man" line takes on an entirely different meaning)

Protect me, Maria

Don't let the siren cast her spell

Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone

Here, he's begging for protection and relief. He wants things to go back to the way they were. He wants to be free of the moral conflict instead of walking through it. It's a very relatable sentiment! Finding out that you're The Other your community has warned you about your whole life flips your world on its head!

In order to reconcile your sexuality and your faith, you cannot shy away from the conflict, no matter how painful it is! You have to do your own research. You have to think your own thoughts. You have to question everything you've been taught. But I promise, you will come out better for it.

Destroy Esmeralda

And let her taste the fires of Hell!

Or else let her be mine and mine alone

This goes deeper into the "free me from this moral conflict" point. There are really only a few ways that can be done. You can abandon your faith, repress your sexuality, or force the two to get along. Abandoning one's faith is the most common reaction in the queer community because faith, unlike sexuality, is a lifestyle you can choose. However, for a lot of people, their faith is too important to lose.

That only leaves two options. Repressing one's sexuality is usually very damaging to one's mental health. Bottling up all the guilt and shame however, is sometimes easier than doing the research and reevaluating one's worldview.

The "or else let her be mine and mine alone" is Frollo pleading with Mary to give him a way to express his sexuality in a religiously acceptable way. Luckily, that's pretty easy for queer Christians! The Bible gives a lot of tips and expectations for marriages. They are generally framed for hetero couples (because they're the most common), but they apply to homosexual couples as well. You just need to read between the lines.

Paul says in Corinthians 7 that some people should not be married at all (and I think he also implies that he's ace?). That means that ace/aro people and those in queerplatonic relationships are also still in line with the Bible! No conflict there.

Hellfire

Dark fire

Now gypsy, it's your turn

Choose me or

Your pyre

Be mine or you will burn

This is 100% Frollo making Esmeralda responsible for his feelings and not taking accountability for his actions. For the record, that is something you should definitely not do!

God have mercy on her

God have mercy on me

But she will be mine

Or she will burn!

Okay, the first two lines are nice. He's asking for clemency on Esmeralda's behalf for her (imagined) sin of seduction. Then, he asks for clemency for his own (not imagined) sin of lust (but alas, not his pride). The last two lines are a false dichotomy he's created by believing his lust is Esmeralda's fault.

In summary, this song was way too relatable to little 14-year-old me. If you are going through the same thing, don't abandon your faith and don't ignore your feelings. There's a middle ground, I promise. You just need to do your own research and think your own thoughts, as hard as that may be in practice.

Also, be careful who you ask questions to. Remember that your pastors at your conservative church, well-meaning as they may be, have a vested interest in keeping you ignorant of the queer community. Try to find both sides of the story and, if you can do so safely, talk to other queer Christians.

[a-deed-without-a-name]

Butterballs 6? Plz? I'll pay you in virtual hugs?

Oh, hi, Butterballs Anon. Long time, no see. I thought maybe you'd finally gotten the message the last time I and everyone else in my ask box told you to cut it out (for the fiftieth time) because you weren't doing anything but making me mad, but apparently I gave you too much credit. Again.

(If you're new here, check out the "butterballs anon" tag on my blog, and this will make a lot more sense to you.)

I doubt you'll ever see this, since I suspect you only come to my page to send obnoxious asks, but I've got a few things I want to say to you anyway.

You've been harassing me for...wow, look at that, three years. Maybe even longer.

(Jesus Christ. Three years of your actual human life spent obsessing over a goof-off smut fic. I know I'm throwing stones in my glass house here, but...yikes.)

I feel like I know you pretty well at this point.

You've been told to stop. It has been made very clear to you by myself and others that you're making me uncomfortable and upset. You've been told I have lots of other kink fics you can read. You've been told you can write your own Butterballs continuation if you want it that bad. But you haven't done any of those things.

Because you "want" it. You "need" it. You're entitled to it and baffled I don't agree.

It's not a compliment, it's not a mark of how much you enjoy my writing, it's that you're accustomed to getting your way or think that you should and you're frustrated by the fact that you're not.

Your complete lack of regard for someone else's boundaries and your gleeful ignorance of my multiple clear "no"s do not bode well for your behavior in real life.

Maybe it's going a bit far to extrapolate this much from sparse online interactions, but again: three years. After being told a dozen times to stop.

You think you're fun and cute and goofy. You're not.

And I very much doubt I am the only or even most heavily-targeted recipient of your attentions.

I don't know anything about your sexual or romantic proclivities beyond how much you love fat kink, but I shudder thinking about anyone you've experienced attraction to. The harassment they've probably suffered. The way your obsession and lack of respect - because no one's a real person to you, are they? Just a vehicle for the fulfillment of your desires - disrupted their lives. You're the story they tell first dates about the creepiest, clingiest person they ever met.

God help anyone who ever had an actual relationship with you. I pray you're single. I suspect you probably are.

If there are any people you still consider friends, you probably haven't seen them in a while. They get together without you, express relief you're not there, talk about how fun things are without you. Or they invite you because they feel they have to, a la the Geek Social fallacies, but the group keeps getting smaller as more and more people decide they don't have to put up with your bullshit, and those who remain are constantly on edge. Waiting for another outburst from you. Dreading the day they come your next object of obsession.

Your relatives talk disparagingly about your parents, because of the person they've raised.

You've probably lost at least one job for harassment. Maybe even talking about your fetishes at work.

I suspect you probably hide behind neurodivergence. "I can't help it, I have ________." Or passion. You're just so friendly and goofy, a lovable weirdo! But it's not any of those things. If it were, you would have stopped at some point in the last three years.

You believe, deep down, you're entitled to other people's time, and attention, and maybe even their bodies, regardless of what they want and feel. You think that if you just push hard enough, they'll give in and you'll win. Life is a video game for you. You're the only one with thoughts and emotions. The world exists to serve you, and it confuses and frustrates you when you encounter something that conflicts with that belief.

You are a bad person, Butterballs Anon. Full stop.

I don't want a hug from you, virtual or otherwise.

I don't imagine there's anyone left in your life who does.

[mrgrimmer]

hi, making my first post on this blog! i’ll put this behind a read more, i’m just dying to meet people after having experienced monster in its entirety. particularly people who are really into wolfgang grimmer. sorry for tagging it, i have horrible, daily anxiety and i just want to meet more monster fans. this masterpiece has touched me beyond measure.

tl;dr: new monster fan, wolfgang grimmer has altered my life, i want to meet more friends!

i’m arnika (pseudonym) and i’m 32. i’ve been a goth ever since i was a preteen (this is important because it’s a huge part of my identity) and i have been selfshipping or bonding with characters even before that. i have autism and lack empathy and struggle to relate to others. i have been a very avid selfshipper for a long time, but i’ve sorta stopped making self inserts because i myself love the character in question, not an oc. i consider myself asexual and ficto-romantic/sexual. i don’t like the latter term (nothing wrong with it!! i just don’t care for it) but it describes me accurately the most, i think.

my comfort character is wolfgang grimmer from naoki urasawa’s monster. i have never related to someone more. there have been characters that have come close, but i really, really cannot describe the feel of belonging i have when i watch his scenes. i could wax poetic about it; it would take forever. but i love him in ways i can’t describe. it goes beyond attraction, it’s more like i think he was put into my life for a reason. i’ve been struggling to come to terms with the fact i don’t experience empathy like most, as a diagnosed sociopath it bothered me for the longest time because i am not a cruel person. i am very kind and i try to put out more good into the world than bad. but seeing wolfgang and reading him and experiencing him made me realize i may be a little damaged, but i am not a bad person. i can care about people and i can even love them in my own little way. i do this by my actions and by my regard for others. it sounds contradictory, but empathy is not necessary to care for other people, just like empathy doesn’t automatically make you jesus either.

…sorry, i’m rambling. i don’t want to flood the wolfgang grimmer tag with this bullshit, more or less i’m trying to find likeminded people. i do not get jealous over him, he deserves every drop of love he gets from everyone who is touched by him like i am. i can’t tell you how many tears of joy i have shed over the sense of camaraderie i feel because of him.

he’s everything to me, and he’s a huge inspiration as to who i should model myself after. he’s made me a lot happier lately to me too, a lot more faithful in other people. i cherish him so much. he’s like a soulmate to me, i have a few like that, but i can’t tell you how much he means to me.

anyway, thank you so much for reading. i hope this wasn’t really annoying.

[nysocboy]

Gemstones Episode 3.4: Wieners, betrayal, a burning a-hole, and Kelvin at his jerkiest. With a nude Steve Zahn bonus

This is the G-rated version of the review, with no nudity or explicit sexual discussions.  

Title: "I Am Come Not to Bring Peace But a Sword." A famous quote from Jesus in Matthew 10:34.  Things are going to get dark. 

Some premium sex dolls:  Keefe and Taryn are leading a Teen and Parents Together "ice cream and wieners" party.  Keefe has apparently never done any ministry without Kelvin, so he is very nervous.  He is not wearing his "wedding ring," maybe worried that it would out him.

The parents point out that they know very little about Keefe, even though he is a youth minister, in charge of nurturing their children.   Before Keefe has a chance to answer any questions, Biker Clarence, the owner of the store that he bought out drops by to praise him for buying "every last butt buzzer I had in stock!"   He invites Keefe to check out the new merchandise coming in: "We got some premium sex dolls!"  Inappropriate, dude! You're in an ice cream shop. Don't you notice the kids around? 

Taryn and Keefe assure the parents that "it's not what you think."  That is, Keefe isn't actually gay, he bought the toys for a project "we did with your kids."  Even worse!  But didn't the parents know about Smut Busters?  You have to get permission slips every time you take the kids off church property.

Loud and Proud:  We see the beginning of the service, a Christian rock number, with May-May disapproving and Cousin Karl loving it.  Then it's time for the family dinner at Jason's Steakhouse, and a practically endless series of queer codes.  Interesting that the guys start being obviously a couple immediately after the Cousin's Night romantic interlude.

May-May disapproves of her sons' silk suits: too shiny, "like a lady's neglige.  A little loud and proud for me."  In other words, they make the boys look gay.  Jesse yells at her for "talking trash." Implying that someone is gay constitutes "talking trash"? That's homophobic, dude.

Judy defends the boys from the "accusation," saying that they are attractive to women. So youturn gay because you can't find a woman?  Laying on the homophobia, aren't we?

As he listens to his family's homophobic banter, Kelvin looks like he's about to cry.   And Keefe -- that's the look your boyfriend gets at Thanksgiving Dinner, when your parents told you to not "cause a scene" by coming out, and then Uncle Bob starts complaining about "fags taking over." Cavalero got it exactly right..

Holding Hands under the Table:  Peter Montgomery (Steve Zahn, top photo) enters, announces that he has a new militia compound "on a farm," and invites his sons to join him.  They refuse, so he circles the table, threatening that retribution is coming.  

As he circles, Keefe moves his right hand under the table.  Then Kelvin moves his left hand under the table. These are not random acts:  Boyfriends who are scared (and closeted) would look for reassurance by holding hands.

Their hands stay under the table until Peter threatens Judy, and Eli steps in, telling him to leave or he'll be shot.  Everyone in the family except Gideon, Kelvin, and Keefe pulls out a gun.  A gun expert on the fan board pointed out that only Amber and BJ are holding them properly.  Then Kelvin,  frightened (of his family's guns?), says something indecipherable to Keefe, who moves his hand back to the table top and makes a finger-gun.  Kelvin looks around for a weapon, and brandishes a fork.  His left hand is still under the table, and stays there, holding Keefe, until Peter circles the table again.  

Now the "wedding rings" are fully visible, matching men's silver wedding bands with black diamond inlay (the real thing sells for over $4000),  on the ring finger of Kelvin's left and Keefe's right hand.   Kelvin can't say that they are lovers, but he can show it.

For a little while, anyway.

Things get worse after the break.

It makes my a-hole burn: The backlash to the ice cream-and-wieners party begins when Kelvin finds a letter in the Teen Time suggestion box: "Keefe is weird. I am not comfortable with him around kids." Is "weird" being used as a euphemism for "gay" again?

He yells at Keefe for messing up: "You had one job! It's your only responsibility."  Dude is missing the point entirely.  He should be concerned with defending Keefe's character.

He wants to know what went wrong.  Keefe explains that the porno shop owner "outed me in front of the parents."  Not outing him as a participant in the Smut Busters: that wasn't a secret.  Bike Clarence made it sound like Keefe bought the sex toys for himself, thus "outing" him as gay. 

Well, did Keefe explain that he bought the toys on church business?  He tried, but he couldn't really articulate how buying sex toys helped the church.  Kelvin gets even more angry; Keefe's inability to handle this incident without outing himself -- and by implication, both of them -- suggests that he is not qualified to be assistant youth pastor.  So, are you going to fire him, or what?

What about the parents' concerns? "This kind of talk makes my a-hole burn."  Keefe responds: "I hate to think that I'm responsible for your a-hole burning."

I have never heard anyone use that expression to mean angry or upset, nor can I find it online.  It's quite likely that Kelvin's real a-hole is burning: remember that he just stopped withholding sex. If your partner is too big or too enthusiastic, as he is bound to be after a drought, he can create tiny tears, resulting in rectal burning and itching.  In Season 1, Kelvin's a-hole burned  after a similar experience, tied into his guilt over being gay  Now it's the possibility of being outed, and its impact on his career, that burns him. Will he be backing away from the erotic again, to maintain the illusion that he and Keefe are just good buddies?

Sip and Paint: A scene of Kelvin/Keefe problems will inevitably be paired with BJ/Judy problems.  They are on another date night, at a sip-and-paint studio. Why do they get so many dates, when Kelvin/Keefe get none?  

Someone sends BJ a dick pic!  He wants to email the guy to explain the mistake, because "some lucky gal's missing out on that glorious cock shot."  Did you forget that gay men exist, Buddy?  I'm sure your brothers-in-law would enjoy looking at a glorious cock.  Uh-oh, Judy realizes that Stephen, the guy she had the affair with, sent it on purpose to big-dick her husband!

The White Slap: Next, Jesse gets is initiated into the Cape and Pistol Society, for the elite of evangelical ministers. He sparrs with rival Vance Simkins, and uses so many cuss words that he's sentenced to a "white slap" -- literally being slapped by someone wearing a scary white mask. 

Then Baby Billy confronts him: "You are so hell-bent on running this church the way your daddy did, but you ain't your daddy." This line in the trailer led to widespread speculation that Eli had died, but it was just a misdirection.  Then Baby Billy suggests that a performance by Aimee-Leigh, Eli's dead wife and a famous gospel singer, would get some butts into the seats.  But how can she perform? 

Probably there are videos of her singing at the Grand Ole Opry or something. Baby Billy may explain, but who's paying attention?  Viewers are pushing the fast-forward button, anxious to see what happens with Kelvin and Keefe.

Rumors Swirling:  At the church food court -- notice the booths for Fancy Nancy's Chicken, Jason's Steakhouse, and "Wok on the Water" --  Kelvin, in virginal white instead of his usual green to emphasize his purity, listens to parental concerns about Keefe.  

"We do not feel safe with the assistant youth pastor. We heard he's a devil worshipper" and "I don't want him influencing our children."  

The most obvious conclusion from the sex toys debacle would be that Keefe bought them for pedophile grooming, but no one accuses Keefe of child molestation.  You don't say that a pedophile is a bad influence, you say that he is a danger. They think that Keefe is gay.  

This is Kelvin's chance to exonerate Keefe by coming clean: "Buying the sex toys was all my idea. I thought it would be a good teen project.  Keefe was just following my orders."  But instead he throws the guy under the bus in order to stay closeted: "I vouch for him.  He is one of my closest personal friends. He is my dude." 

A parent (Nick Arapoglou,  left) responds: "With all the rumors swirling about you, can't you see how strange this all looks?"

"There's rumors swirling about me?" Kelvin asks, shocked.  He thought that he was adequately closeted, and maybe he was -- Evangelicals often have trouble conceiving of a Man of God being "that way," so they may have let his feminine mannerisms and lack of interest in women slide.  But with Keefe outed, the rumors are bound to swirl. If Kelvin is outed as well,  his career as a youth pastor...as a pastor of any sort...as a Gemstone...

"Remove him, or we remove our kids." a parent demands. 

Kelvin literally runs away. 

The full review, with nude photos and explicit sexual discussions, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends