#I am not joking about the princes being renamed

[sleeppaw]

That's why I don't seek out modern-day books. The "Lady MacBeth" one basically made the titular character a whiny French girl, MacBeth a brute and renamed Princes Malcolm and Donalbain. If I ever write a retelling of MacBeth, it will be in either Malcolm or Donalbain's POV and faithful to the play. As some reviewers said, "Why the fuck is there a random Aethelstan cameo?"

So many modern day retellings are just straight up hiding the fact that their authors fucking hate the original classic literature books but still need the marketing validation of writing a diverse retelling lol

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E4

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We're on THE POISONED CHALICE

OKAY so @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile our resident Old English expert explained to me something really interesting. the spell used by Nimueh draws its power from the Spear-Danes, the semi pagan culture featured in Beowulf (Who had their own lake lady in Grendel's mother who was likely a priestess of the old religion And linguisticly called Disir) There is more though The first lines of the spell also seem to be Nimue saying she owes her magic to the spear Danes (that Grendel the monster in Beowolf ate) At this point I'm wondering if its meant to establish she is saying HEY MY SPELLS ARE PAGEN This will not be the only Beowulf reference in this episode. (Its never referenced or quoted after this episode) I'm wondering if the translators threw this in as a joke or easter egg Or in my freind's words "fuck it. lets canonize Beowulf in this universe real fast" (Okay I just discovered one of their choices I'll talk about later and HOLY FREAKING SHIT)

Mercia is traditionally thought of as a kingdom formed during the anglo-saxon settlement of Britain (Which occurs post Merlin acoirding to Merlin having saxons of enemies in later seasons) The historic king Arthur if he existed was said to have fought against the anglo saxons but this is just a footnote as we are focusing on Merlin Universe) HOWEVER a 13th century text says "“Pagans came from Germany and occupied East Anglia, that is, the country of the East Angles; and some of them invaded Mercia, and waged war against the British.” 

British here being Original pre-saxon inhabitents. SO it is possible that a Mercia existed before The Anglo-Saxons. This could also be the Historian using the name he knows. Bayard is not a recorded later King of Mercia either so good choice in name if we want him to be a Britonic king from a Mercia founded before the Anglo-Saxons apear. Fun fact Mercia also resisted leaving paganism longer than any other Anglo-Saxon kingdom! BUT Anyway in Merlin Mercia is a thing, Its ruled by Bayard, and its color is blue. It would be in the midlands of England most likely.

Also he was at war with Camalot, but now is not. I wonder if that has to do with Uther having not inherited but taking over the kingdom! Uther: The treaty we sign today marks an end to war and the beginning of a new friendship between our peoples

I also think Uther as a peacemaker is interesting, especially as we see this more than once. It might be why some people view him as "A good king."

So this at first glance SEEMS like it hints more toward paganism. Beltane is a Gaelic May Day festival. But its renamed version May Day was not exactly Christianized. See most other big Gaelic festivals (usually religious) Were kinda taken over by Christianity when it came. Yule became Christmas Samhain became All Saints Day (All Hollows Eve) ETC. Beltane was also celebrated in some places ALONG with Christianity until the 1800s. (Scotland did this specifically) In modern times Beltane is VERY Pagan. And it is very possible this hints further toward the Camalot is pagan or just nonreligious side of the entire debate. (Despite people using words like god or hell.) But it's not quite as conclusive as many other type of references would be.

(For context despite it saying we've Arthur here is talking about Merlin, who just announced his cup was poisoned, exclusively which is interesting!) See slow gin is a type of alcohol made with juniper berries and blackthorn fruits. It was traditionally brewed (With a lot of home brewing) in October and November and used as a warming drink in the depths of winter. AS you can tell this episode does not take place in winter. I think there are two possibilities for Arthur picking this drink specifically to mention despite that. The first is that as a prince perhaps the drink is available to him year round if he wants it and he doesn't know that is not true of most people yet. The second is he is so panicked at the prospect of the trouble Merlin is in his mind latched on to the first drink that popped into it.

Okay, so Mort means death in Latin. And the ending suffix here Usually makes the word an adjective from proper or place names BUT often appears in flower naming. So basically this plant is named The "Death Flower" Flower or "Capital D Deathly" Flower

Gaius: it can only be found in the caves deep beneeth the forest of Baloch The flower grows on the roots of the Mortaeus tree.

Uh okay. THERE IS SOME SHIT GOING DOWN with this plant. First of all, flowers growing from the roots of a tree is just weird. flowers are basically there to attract things to pollinate a plant usualy. If a tree has flowers they do not grow from the roots. Second of all its kinda weird for flowers or trees to grow in DEEP caves. Sunlight cannot read them there. I would give it a pass if it did not say deep because if there were cracks in the ceiling of the cave that could put light though. It does kinda explain why they can ONLY be found there though. If its so odd and specialized it might be the only place it can grow.

This flower is either innately magical in some odd way or does not conform to evolution. So at this point I am pretty sure it was bred/engineered/magiced into being but some sorcerer. Likely specifically for poisoning people. and that person wanted to limit the people who knew of it and thus kept it in once set of caves. BUT SOMHOW news got out about it. Ok so I also looked up Baloch. In Welsh it can mean dig or sorry. In Irish it means boy and in scottish the same thing. So no info to be gleaned from that

Gauis: A cockatrice-- it guards the forest. Its venom is extremely potent, a single drop would mean certain death. OK first of all I'm doubling down on there being some past sorcerer, Because they were FOR SURE using these as guard dogs. Second of all I LOVE Merlin paying fast and loose with magical creatures from folklore because I can too in my fics A Cockatrice in folklore was a monster created when a toad or snake egg was hatched beneath a chicken. It could kill with a look, or a breath, or a touch, and was basically a two-legged dragonish creature with a rooster head. In the Merlin world it is very diferant. We'll see one soon! "Few who have crossed the mountains of Isgard in search of the Moraeus flower have made it back alive." Yeah can't find any meaning behind the name Isgard! BUT HAVE I MENTIONED I THINK A SORCER ONCE LIVED IN THE CAVES/FOREST.

Okay I think this is a reference to the actual historical job of taster. Basically important people (ESP royalty) would hire someone to taste all their food before thay ate it. That way if it was poisoned the taster would die instead of them. It was viewed as a pretty plum gig because poisoning didn't often happen (ESP if people knew there was a taster) and the taster got to eat REALLY good food and get paid for it. I think its also an interesting character detail that while this kinda implies that Uther might have someone (At least for his private food and not banquets) We see multiple times that Arthur in fact does NOT. It is quite possible he managed to put his foot down and get out of this somehow because he believes it to be wrong. Which not gonna lie is a very Arthur thing to do.

(Context: Arthur talking about how Gaius said they can save Merlin if they get the leaf so it is not a fools errand) Waiiit is this trying to imply that Gaius was the one who brought up the idea that one could use the old religion to give Uther a son? I mean we knew he was the messenger. but HOLY SHIT. And if that is true, Uther somhow forgave him? Why would Uther forgive him? The only thing I can think is if Gaius talked about how magic had tricked him and gave Uther something else to blame. This is all conjecture though. Uther could be referring on how Gaius is close to Merlin or something else. It just feels like it might be a nod at what all went down around Arthur's birth.

Okay so this is Merlin quoting Beowolf here. A Poem that is yet to be written down but might have had some oral tradition and actually takes place at the traditional time Arthur is said to have lived. Merlin is basically talking about how Arthur/Beowolf is endowed with honnor. This happens right after Arthur decides to ride out to save Merlin.

Magic Rule Established: Potions/Poisons can be more potent if magic is used in their preperation

Okay MORE Beowolf

Merlin says Arthurs name then basically talks about a young man doing good deeds.

Playing hard and fast as I said. LOOK Dinosaur!

Okay so more Beowolf At this point I am 99.99% sure the people hired to write the spells at the time where having the time of their life. Let me explain

This line talks about gifts of treasure (the light) he conjuress to help Arthur. Fine. BUT then it mentions Arthur being under his father's protection. Expect Merlinto protectg him. The spell writers used a freaking old english poem to let Merlin call himself Arthur's "daddy" I am not sure what I am expected to do with this knowledge. (It might have been chosen so they could use the next line of the spell but THEY DID NOT HAVE TO DO THIS) The next line (Which is actually also the next line in the poem) says something about how so that when Arthur is older his companions can stand with him when war comes.

Okay so yeah turns out there is no tree or roots. I'm chalking this up to he said she said. STILL GOING WITH THE SORCERER.

OKAY so it a potion is made using magic the antidote may ALSO need magic

Oh look our first hint Merlin is immortal. I find his brand of immortality intersting. HE CAN DIE he just comes back after a bit.

[malicedafirenze]

so I finally got done watching S5 of The Dragon Prince and ghgnghghggngh why do I have such a mixed bag love hate relationship with this show (spoilers)

I want to love this show but there's so many things that just don't land and don't work, and yet here I am, hooked once again, because after 8 episodes of cringe humor and weird dialogue it fed me some crumbs of delicious Aaravos content.

I find so many of the accents so goddamn stilted and awkward. The french sun fire elves are the worst. I don't object to french-sounding elves in principle but dear lord does it sound unnatural and strained

SO much of the humor just does not land and the pacing of individual scenes is just ??? ATLA had some very kiddie humor here or there too, and I love the somewhat darker and more mature tone of TDP but jfc it feels like they need to hammer every joke home with so much time that you'd think they were planning for a laugh track

ep 8 and 9 were so much better than the whole rest of the season because once this show lets itself focus on action and drama, it's actually pretty fucking good, but for some reason you need to get through a first half season of awkward goofs.

Terry annoys me so much. Yay trans rep, but why the utterly random coming out out of nowhere (that was S04 I know but I watched it very recently okay) and his whole sounding like a therapist shit towards Claudia, like yes, it could be funny that this random wood elf does aroma therapy on his dark mage gf but everything somehow turns awkward in the execution

The library showdown was generally cool but the framing for why Amaya told them to leave without her was so fucking weird: you have this moment of Dragon Ex Machina, Zubeia wiping away the demon bears with ease, and then suddenly when Amaya is back in the frey after grabbing Bait, they're suddenly out of time and need to leave that instant??? Like I see what they were going for, obviously Zubeia was under real threat from the demon bears, but imo the framing/visualization of that threat did not work at all and I audibly went "WHY" at my screen at the random "you have to leave without me" thing.

That being said there's some shit that goes extremely hard and I'm here for it:

Rayla just fucking dismembering Claudia apparently wtf??

I enjoyed the sexy fish pirate man, I hope he survived getting eaten

I am an utter addict for Aaravos' voice and even the flashback repetitions in Janai's nightmares were legit enough to get my attention again

I am very excited for how someone is going to end up saving Viren's life against his will and I will gladly read fanfic of it

I had the 'our child' thing spoiled by being careless on tumblr but seeing it actually on screen was better than expected, love that for my OTP, toxic af parenthood is just what they needed

I really expected there to be more Aaravos since this show got renamed to Mystery of Aaravos false advertising smh.

They got creative with Dragon designs this season and I support that

out of all the things I found weird and cringe, I am 100% here for Zubaia getting randomly healed by a funky little gnome that calls himself the mushroom mage, 10/10 no notes

young viren hot

Rayla and Callum worked much better for me towards the end of the season when they got more comfortable with each other, love that for them, some delicious drama when the sexy fish man tortures them in front of each other, good for them, that's my shit

Considering all the things I liked about the last 2-3 episodes I feel nitpicky and weird for complaining about the first 7 or so but UGH it was a bit of a pain to get through them tbh. There is so much I deeply, deeply appreciate about what this show tries to do, as a high fantasy kids show with an overarching story, gorgeous visuals and explicit lgbtq and disability rep that I feel like an ass for complaining about it so much, but god damn there are so many things that are just unbearably cringe about it and OH MY GOD I just remembered the god damn "maybe you should express your love like a bee, here just move your tushy like that" scene holy FUCK can someone please give me an edit of this show with about three times the Aaravos screentime and all this second hand embarassment removed

[cobaltusami]

Intimidating

Hey hi hello, I wrote another Gundham t word fic. I had a lot of fun with this one, And It's not as long this time! It's a miracle!

Word count: 2,003 Characters: Gundham Tanaka, Sonia Nevermind

The first few days after the beach party was odd, Everyone was wary to approach Gundham, Afraid of upsetting him by bringing up what happened at the party.

Which was thoughtful of them to be concerned about his feelings, However, Every time Gundham tried to strike up a conversation with any of the others it would quickly trail off and oozed an awkward aura.

His conversations with Hajime weren’t as awkward though, Probably because they both got wrecked with tickles that night. No one seemed to be avoiding Hajime though, Rather they just kept teasing and harassing him every chance they got.

So once again he was pretty much isolated, But maybe after seeing what was happening to Hajime that wasn’t such a bad thing.

He wasn’t completely alone though, Sonia had been spending more time with him, She probably sensed that the others were avoiding him.

“Good morning Gundham!” The Princess beamed at her friend.

Gundham pulled himself away from staring out the window to look up at her. “Good morning, Sonia.”

“Is this seat taken?”

His mismatched eyes glanced around at all the empty seats at his table. “Unless you possess the ability to see the supernatural, No they aren’t taken.”

Come to think of It, No one else was In the dining hall at all.

She giggled. “I think I would be much happier If I could see the supernatural.” She joked as she sat down at the table, Specifically the seat right next to Gundham. “Why are you sitting alone? I would have thought Kazuichi would be sitting with you as well.”

He probably will now that you’re here… He mused In thought.

“Hmph. That fool has been avoiding me since the beach incident.” He answered bitterly.

“Huh? That seems odd. You two were getting along so well.” She frowned, Why would he avoid his friend like this?

Neither of them wanted to tell her why that fight had come about to begin with, Especially not Gundham who had finally made friends.

“Who knows what’s going on In that Mortal’s head.” Gundham mumbled, Leaning forward and resting his arms against the table.

At that moment, Maga-Z, Jum-P, Cham-P and San-D popped out of his scarf and went scurrying down onto the table almost as if waiting for that exact moment, They all looked up at him for a moment.

Gundham tried to look annoyed, But broke out Into a smirk. “Yes yes, I know. You wish to visit the Dark Queen.” He mumbled amusedly as they scurried over to Sonia.

Sonia giggled as she began to pet them. “Good morning to you as well, Devas of Destruction!” She cooed.

“You know, It Is strange. You are the only one they will interact with.” He mused, Watching them.

“It must be because they sense I am not a typical Mortal, As you say.” She smiled.

“I almost think If I were to give you my scarf, They would willingly go with you instead.”

She giggled In amusement, Taking her eyes off the furballs for a moment. “Would you care to test that theory? I might give them back If they do go with me.” She teased.

“Kehehe…” Gundham chuckled, Meeting her eyes. “They would wreak so much havoc that you would be begging for me to take them back.”

Normally, He would have been very over the top saying things like that, But for some reason he wasn’t. His voice was quiet and hadn’t spiked in volume at all. Leaving Sonia to theorize that he may be feeling down due to being isolated.

He almost sounded tired, Too.

“Well, Let us see then.” She smirked. Without taking his eyes off of her, He removed his scarf and handed It to her.

Sonia wasted no time wrapping the purple accessory around her neck.

And of course.

The four hamsters scurried up her arm once she set her hand on the table to see If they would go to her. She laughed brightly as they settled onto her shoulders and In the scarf. She stood up, Readying herself for her monologue.

“Traitors.” He muttered.

“It looks like the Supreme overlord of Ice has met his match, In The GREAT SONIA NEVERMIND! Ruler of the Dark kingdom! The Dark Queen of Destruction!” She imitated Gundham as much as she could, Even striking a pose as she said this. “Fuahaha!”

Gundham cracked up laughing at the sight before him.

Sonia beamed at him, It was nice to see him smile and laugh freely. He didn’t do this nearly enough In her opinion.

“My dear, You are not intimidating.” He chuckled, Regaining his composure. “Though, It was endearing.”

“Not Intimidating?! Fool!” Oh, Looks like she’s continuing this bit. “Do not speak on my fearsomeness until you see my ultimate attack!”

“Oh? And what might that be?” He humored her, Sitting upright.

“I have one more title...” She declared, Sinking down Into the seat next to Gundham, Eliminating any easy chance for escape. “The Ultimate Tickler!”

She immediately shot her hands out and began squeezing his sides, Drawing surprised gasps and giggles from the Ultimate breeder. “S-Sonia?! What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I am punishing you for your earlier discretion! No one says that I am not intimidating and gets away with It!” She smirked as she watched him squirm around.

“But you ahaharen't intimidating! I am speheheaking the truth!” He shot back.

“Oh, You will regret those words If my name Isn’t SONIA NEVERMIND!” She cried out with determination. She managed to sneak her hands under his shirt and began skating her nails across his stomach.

He yelped and lurched backwards, His back hitting the wall behind him. Bubbly laughter began pouring from his lips.

She scooted her chair as close to him as she could, Practically hovering over him now. Escape was certainly not going to be easy. “Fuahaha!” She imitated his usual evil laugh. “You are trapped, And there Is no hope for an escape! You must admit that I am to be feared and MAYBE I shall go easy on you!”

How long was she going to keep up this bit? Who knows. Not me. Certainly not Gundham either. It was really amusing to him though.

“I dohohohon’t lihihihihie!” He laughed, Trying to catch her nimble hands.

“Ohh, Now you’re just ASKING for It!”

Her fingers sped up, Nails gliding up his sides and tracing around each rib bone individually. This prompted him to laugh harder, Trying to wrap his arms around his ribs to protect them.

“Foohohohohoholish Mortal! Did you thihink that Ihihihi would break sohohoho easily!? It taahahahakes more thahahan mere tickling to breheheheak me!”

Maybe he was asking for It, Just a little bit. He kind of liked the attention.

“Mortal?! Fine. Perhaps It Is time I begin my Ultimate attack!” She continued her attack, Lightening up her touch a bit to see his reaction. His laughter remained the same, But he began squirming more, Confirming to her that he was more sensitive to softer tickles. “Are you ready? DEVAS, ATTACK!” She commanded.

As If it were Gundham ordering them, The Hamsters obeyed. Much to his horror, They jumped onto him and began nuzzling against his unfortunately very ticklish neck.

“N-NOHOHOHO! AHAHAHAHAHA! YOU TRAHAHAHAITORS!” He blushed at the volume of his laughter, Especially after just saying he wouldn’t break so easily.

“Fuahaha! They aren’t betraying anyone, They are simply following their Queen’s command!” She was trying to keep In character, Though ended up giggling along with him after this statement. “It seems as though your neck Is quite sensitive, Does that tickle~?” She cooed.

He tried to muffle his laughter by bringing his arms up to shield his face, But Sonia was having none of it. “Gundham!” She broke character finally. “Do not hide, Your laughter sounds wonderful!”

Gundham's face got even redder, Even his neck got a little red. “NOHOHOH IT DOESN’T!” He whined through his laughter.

“Yes, It does! You should laugh like this more often.” She smiled kindly.

The Dark Prince shook his head in protest.

“Enough of that!” Sonia went back Into her character. “I think It Is about time for the Supreme Overlord of Ice to admit defeat to The Dark Queen of Destruction!”

She went in for the metaphorical kill, Though Gundham thought It might actually kill him. She moved her hands up and began tickling under his arms, Being as gentle as she could to invoke more of a reaction.

He let out a scream and his tough persona completely fell apart under the merciless tickles. “NAAHAHAHAHA! NOHOT THERE!” He finally broke. “PLEHEHEASE STAHAHAP!”

Sonia couldn’t help but laugh along with him. “I will end the attack, But you have to admit that I am to be feared! Admit your defeat!” She grinned.

Gundham managed to snatch up two of his Four Dark Devas with his trembling hands In an attempt to turn the tables, But this seemed to only drive the other two to speed up as If to tell him to release their allies. So his actions did very little to alleviate the intense ticklish sensations.

He had no choice to admit defeat.

“OKAHAHAHAHAY! YOU WIHIHIN! AHAHAHAHAHA!”

As much as she wanted to continue, Sonia relented and withdrew her hands. “San-D, Cham-P, Both of you can stop now.” She gently reached out and grabbed them off of his shoulders, Petting them affectionately as the other two joined them. “Good Devas…” She praised them.

Gundham slumped over the table, Gasping for air and breathing heavily. “You are… Truly evil…” He panted.

She smiled at him. “Nonsense. I could have been a lot more cruel than I was.”

That made chills run down his spine. He shuddered visibly at the thought. He turned his head- Which was still resting against the table- To look at her. “Even so, I suppose I was no match for your power THIS time. But next time, You’re In for a tough fight.”

Sonia giggled, Setting the Hamsters back down on the table. “My power knows no bounds, Foolish Prince! Now, Admit that I am intimidating. Or else I shall sic the Four Dark Devas of Destruction and Tickles on you again!”

“Did… Did you just rename them?”

“Better hurry up~”

“Gh-- F-Fine. You are the most Fearsome creature I’ve ever come across. Even I, The Great Gundham Tanaka, Am intimidated by you... Does that satisfy you?”

Even though his speech was low energy, She could tell he was In higher spirits than earlier. The Princess giggled as she took off his scarf. “Yes, The Dark Queen thanks you.” She set It on the table and the Devas immediately curled up In it.

“Looks like they’re tired.” He observed.

“Almost as tired as you are.” She added, Running her fingers through his black and gray hair affectionately. “You seemed tired this morning, Did you not sleep well?”

The Supreme Overlord of Ice completely melted under her touch, His eyes fluttering closed. “Not particularly.” He admitted. “As foolish as It is, I suppose I was a bit upset about being avoided by the others.”

Sonia frowned. “I do not understand why they are acting so weird. Especially Kazuichi.”

Because he’s Kazuichi. He shrugged his shoulders a bit.

“Perhaps I will have a conversation with him.” She thought aloud.

“N-No. That’s not necessary. I’m sure he has a reason.”

“I am too, That Is why I wish to talk to him to find out why. It Is clearly something that Is troubling you, So It Is troubling me as well.” The Princess had already made up her mind.

Gundham knew It was pointless to argue any further, So he remained silent. Soon dozing off.

Sonia giggled as she heard a soft snore, Still running her fingers through his hair. She wondered why nobody could see this side of Gundham when they talked to him, She Instantly saw through his cold facade.

Maybe It was the same reason people couldn’t see how Intimidating she can be at first glance.

[zirkkun]

For the "Writers' Would You Ever..." game, if you are still doing that.

Would you ever write, hmmm, um, Sansby or Soriel? I know (at least I am pretty sure), you like both ships.

The Soriel stuff you rb'ed around Soriel Week was super cute by the way (I esp. loved renrink's stuff, esp. the one for the Unrequited (?) prompt; which was so gorgeous and got me right in the heart. The Underlust!Soreil you drew was also super cute; can always do w/ more UL!Soriel (as well as UL!Sansby).

So yeah, I know you like Soriel (I love it too). Still wanted to ask about it.

...However, I wanted to ask even more about if you would do/write Sansby (which, I know/pretty sure you like too. I love it too), because I am pretty sure in UL, Sansby was a thing (I think. Either way, I like UL Sansby a lot), but in ULR, Sans and Grillby hate each other. Why you gotta do us Sansby and/or UL Sansby fans like that, huh? Almost as bad as when Lynx japed/tricked us into thinking there might be nice, cute Soriel in Paper Trail; only for Sans to be basically trying to get info out of Toriel. Why must you both do us like this?

If you can't tell, I am not really being serious about; I mainly joking. Though, that stuff in Paper Trail did actually really get me though (loved how that conversation between Sans and Tori was written though), and Sans and Grillby hating each other in ULR does hurt my (I also find it really, really funny though. Esp. since you drew that scene with Grillby yelling at Ace to get out of his bar. Idk, I just find their whole dynamic hilalrous) Sansby and UL!Sansby loving heart. Anyway yeah, considering that. I gotta know if you write some Sansby in the future (Soriel too ofc). Also, you don't have to answer both (i.e. both Soriel and Sansby), you can just answer one or the other if you want to.

PS: I had such trouble figuring out how to do Asks. I couldn't find a way to send you an Ask if the your Tumblr was in fullscreen; I had to change and make it desktop/not fullscreen in order send this ask. It was so weird. It probably had something to do with your Tumblr's format change/new look (which, really surprised me, and took some getting used to. Esp. it being Green and not purple; though I really like both colors. And also the Underverse Ink Gif being gone; though I also like the 3 Pink Sanses (Classic, Ink, and Blue) that you have in the top right corner now though. I like the new look/format though; just took me some getting used to; since I was so used to your old look/format); hope Tumblr fixes that.

I am also guessing your new Format/look also has something to do with me able to write REALLY long asks now and apparently add images and gifs and stuff. I thought it was a mobile thing (I tried the Tumblr app, didn't find any options like that), but it looks like it is not (I am on pc now)?

Sorry, this Ask ended up quite long (if it is too long for you, you don't have to answer it, if you don't want to); I hadn't sent an Ask like this in a bit (since you were on hiatus and stuff, and I didn't want to bug you), and I ended up having a lot to say. Also, being able to send an Ask this long now in the 1st place; was just too much power for me; too much. Which reminds me! I am happy you are at least partially off hiatus! I hope you sorted things out well, and that you are doing well. :)

*cracks knuckles* alright lemmie go thru and answer this all!

As for your first question, maybe! I've never been too big on writing ship things much to begin with tbh, not because I have anything against them, but just cause I don't really get the same enjoyment out of them as I do writing self insert fics... but AU versions are fun! Not like how we have in the UT fandom but more like regular AU things, such as like an old scrapped fic i had for another fandom where the two characters were princes from opposing kingdoms but they couldn't marry because it would not benefit their families. The original show had nothing to do with that. Those are fun. So are the classic coffee shop or university AUs. So something like that for Soriel or Sansby would be fun too!

For the record though, I don't have anything against Sansby. I find it humorous that Grillby in canon literally says like nothing and yet a ship came out of Sans owing him money, but nothing against the ship. There's a lot of cute work out there with it and I could have sworn I'd reblogged some at som point? Hm. Maybe I'll just have to reblog more 👀✨

I think I may have said this a long time ago, before the rename for ULR; but Ace's role is probably one of the closest to his original character in UL, I merely added on to it and tweaked the story behind the Lust serum. Hugo and Ace did not always hate each other, in fact they were just as close as their UL counterparts at one point! But something happened that caused them to split, and the falling out didn't end well.

Also, as for the asks format changing, that's on Tumblr! They've been very glitchy and terrible on desktop. Hopefully my new theme hasn't broken them completely on top of that. It worked for me when I double-checked it, since I know a lot of people have been having issues with the update and literally everyone wants it to go back 😂 sorry you had such a struggle tho!

[ultraglittercat]

Drabble 48

Catching Up

Rapunzel had invited all her friends over to the castle. She hadn't seen them in awhile, and she had big news. But first she wanted to hear from her friends.

Lance, Kiera, Catalina, Varian, and Ruddiger all mingled in the hallway, talking and laughing as they waited for Rapunzel, Pascal, and Eugene.

“Announcing Princess Rapunzel and Prince Consort Eugene Fitzherbert.” Nigel said grandly.

“Nigel, you don't have to be so formal about it.” Rapunzel gently chided.

“Of course, Your Royal Highness.” he replied.

Rapunzel sighed. Nigel was getting better at being relaxed, but he wasn't perfect at it. At least he had finally come to respect Varian as a colleague which was the best she could hope for.

“Hi, everyone! Who's got news to share?” Rapunzel asked brightly.

“Ooh, ooh, we'll go!” Lance raised his hand excitedly.

“Yes, Lance?” said Rapunzel.

“The girls and I just got back from a trip to Vardaros. It's so different without the Baron or Anthony the Weasel or anyone else causing trouble. Captain Quaid runs a very law abiding town full of prosperous people.” Lance replied.

“That's terrific!” said Eugene.

“Don't forget, we saw La-- Dad's old orphanage.” added Catalina.

“Really? I'm surprised you didn't adopt any more kids while you were there.” Eugene joked.

“I was tempted.” Lance admitted. “But then I might not have as much time to spend with my wonderful girls.” He drew Kiera and Catalina close and gave them a big, bear hug.

“Oof. We saw everybody in Vardaros, including Captain Quaid's deputy. Her name is Vex and she's about the same age as you, Varian. And just so you know, she's single.” Kiera added with a smirk.

“I-- I haven't even met her yet and already you're trying to hook me up?” Varian stammered in disbelief.

“She's a good person, and so are you. It makes perfect sense.” Kiera insisted.

Varian blushed. “Well I don't know about romance for me, but I do know my friend Katie in Old Corona is getting married, and she asked me to play the piano at her wedding.” Varian said, deftly shifting the topic away from his own love life.

“A wedding! Yay!” Catalina cheered.

“And I just heard from my Dad. They've done a lot to fix up the Dark Kingdom. They've even renamed it: Umbra. They have a new blacksmith, a barber shop, a florist, a tavern, and an inn all doing booming business and more and more people are building houses every month.” Eugene detailed. “They invited us to come visit soon. Hector specifically asked about you, Varian. He wants to know if that potion which transforms Ruddiger could work on other animals. I guess he wants more pets to work with.” Eugene added.

“I haven't tested it on anyone outside of Ruddiger, but I wouldn't mind doing a few experiments with Hector. Maybe he'll even let me ride his rhino in return.” Varian's eyes sparkled with excitement.

“And we heard from Cass!” Rapunzel smiled. “She visited Ingvarr recently and had a wonderful time. She might come back later, but for now she still wants to explore. She and Fidella and Owl are all doing fine.”

“But that's not even the best news! Tell them, honey.” Eugene urged.

Rapunzel patted her stomach. “Eugene and I are going to have a baby!” she announced.

Everyone cheered. “Congratulations.” Lance smiled.

“I bet it's a girl.” said Catalina.

“Nuh-uh, I bet it's a boy.” argued Kiera.

“Maybe you're both right. She could be having twins.” Varian mused. “I can build a crib and a mobile for you, if you like.”

“Okay, but don't design anything pointy or dangerous. No exploding parts, either.” Eugene laid out some ground rules.

“No explosions.” Varian mumbled, mentally taking note.

“I am so proud of you two. Parenting is wonderful! You just let me know if you need a few tips, I'm the expert after all.” Lance stated proudly.

“Hey, Mr. Parenting Expert? Your kids are rifling through my backpack again.” Varian pointed out sourly. “Get out of there!”

“Why don't you ever carry candy in here?” Kiera wanted to know.

“Because I have a lot of chemicals in there, and some are dangerous when ingested.” Varian answered. “I don't want food near them.”

“Oh. Candy would be better.” Kiera mumbled, and Catalina nodded in agreement.

“Girls, behave. And once again, congratulations to Rapunzel and Eugene!” Lance said.

Everyone cheered again and ran over to hug Rapunzel. The girls felt the baby bump, hoping to feel the baby kick, and Lance and Varian both high-fived Eugene. It was a wonderful day full of good news, and everyone agreed Rapunzel's baby announcement was the best news of all.

The End

Hope you enjoyed!

[fanficshiddles]

Arrow ace, one shot

Thank you for the prompt, hope you like it. atreqhukea submitted:

As much as I enjoy your smutty fics… I’d love to see one where Loki is really trying to get a girl because he thinks she’s gorgeous. She’s beautiful and has magic that is equal to his. However, she keeps refusing his date proposals and his compliments leave her unaffected. Loki is getting frustrated, but then one day he finds out she’s actually aroace. So he gets her a cat and eventually they become besties. :) (she’s a skiller archer so I would appreciate the aroace/arrow ace pun)

Lexie went back to her house in the city of Asgard, and stopped dead when she reached her front door. There was a bunch of flowers and chocolates sitting on her doorstep.

‘Not again.’ She sighed.

She didn’t even have to read the little card that came along with the gifts, because she knew full well it was from Loki.

He was insistent, that was for sure. She gave him credit for that.

Ever since she had turned him down, he had become relentless on chasing her. Always flirting and showering her with gifts. Not that she was complaining about the gifts side of it, he always picked her favourite chocolates. Who could resist chocolate?

It had started at one of the large celebrations that the royals held. She went along with her sister to enjoy the party. She’d simply rolled her eyes when the two Prince’s walked in and all the other young Asgardian women started fawning all over them.

Loki had locked eyes with Lexie, gave her a cheeky grin and winked at her. She had simply turned her gaze away from him and walked away, not even a blush on her cheeks. He was confused, not effecting the woman like he usually did.

When he had approached her and asked her to dance, she agreed. But she didn’t seem affected by being his presence at all. Even as he swirled her around on the dance floor or held her in close, her breathing never changed, that flush of her cheeks never arrived either.

‘May I have your company outside for a walk?’ He had asked after they finished dancing.

But she politely declined, then left a shocked Loki on his own while she went to seek out her sister again.

Since then, Loki had made it his mission to see her as often as possible. He learned that she was a skilled archer, but not only that, she was highly trained in Seidr too.

He often sought her out during training. Using his own Seidr to get close to her, helping her out while they fought against others for practice.

His showers of praise for her skills always made her smile and thank him. But when he then added in the flirting, commenting on how beautiful she was, or how lovely her hair was that day, she simply thanked him again and moved on.

Loki was frustrated, that was for sure. Then he decided to just be down right bold.

He went to her home after training one day. When she’d opened the door, she was surprised to find Loki peeking out from behind a huge bunch of flowers.

‘These are for you, Lady Lexie. I wish to take you out to dinner tonight, on a date.’ He said confidently, so sure she would say yes.

But she said no.

He kept trying, and she found him sweet for doing so. He did make her smile, and she enjoyed his company. He was intelligent, strong and funny. But she just didn’t like him in a romantic or sexual way at all.

Or anyone, for that matter…

She grabbed the flowers and chocolates and took them inside. It was a mere twenty minutes later when there was a knock on the door.

Lexie didn’t even need three guesses as to who it was.

When she opened the door, she folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at Loki, but she had a smile on her face.

He was stood in the doorway, leaning against the door frame. Trying to give her the best smouldering look he possibly could.

‘Did you receive the gifts that some dashing young prince left on your doorstep?’ He grinned.

‘I certainly did. The chocolates were delicious.’ Lexie teased and turned around, going back inside.

Loki followed her in and shut the door behind him.

‘And the flowers?’ He questioned.

She motioned with her head towards the window, the flowers were in a nice vase.

Loki smiled and turned towards her again, stepping into her space. He gently took hold of her chin.

‘May I have your company this eve to the feast?’

‘You really don’t give up, do you?’ Lexie asked, not phased by how close they were.

‘No. Not when the prize is a beautiful woman.’

‘Loki. I’ve already told you. I’m just not interested in you courting me. I’m sorry.’ She said as softly as possible.

Loki frowned. He stepped back slightly, looking hurt. ‘Have I wronged you in some way? Am I repulsive to you?’

‘What? No! Not at all. It’s not you. It’s… everyone. I’m just not into it!’

‘It? Are you not into men?’ Loki looked confused.

‘I’m not into anyone. I’m aroace.’

Loki looked even more confused for a second, but then it sank in. His eyebrows shot up high in realisation. He ran his hand down his face and chuckled nervously.

‘I’m so sorry, Lexie. I had no idea.’

‘I know, because I’ve never told you.’ She shrugged. ‘I really appreciate the gifts. Truly. Especially the chocolate. But I’m just not into being with anyone at all.’

‘Well… I can’t deny I am rather disappointed about this. But I understand and respect you for you.’ Loki said with a half-smile.

Lexie walked close to him again and gave him a hug, surprising him slightly. Then he wrapped his arms around her in return.

‘Thank you, Loki.’ She looked up at him and giggled at the surprised look on his face. ‘Just because I’m aroace doesn’t mean I dislike hugs.’

‘I know… I know… Sorry.’

‘And for the record, if it helps… If I wasn’t, I would totally go on a date with you.’ She smiled as Loki’s face lit up happily at that.

He ended up staying with her for the afternoon, they just talked and enjoyed one another’s company. When he left, he kissed the back of her hand. Now understanding why it didn’t affect her in any way.

A few days later, Loki returned to visit Lexie. She was surprised to find him visiting again, and was a little worried that he had already forgotten about their conversation. But she was pleasantly surprised.

‘I have just returned from a trip to Midgard. And I thought I’d best bring my friend back a gift.’ He smirked.

Lexie raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what said gift was. Even more so when the box he was holding started moving slightly. There was also airholes in the top.

He handed her the box and she placed it down on the table before opening it. When she took the lid off, her eyes widened.

‘Oh my! A kitten!’ She said excitedly, taking out said little bundle of fur and cuddling her straight away.

‘She’s called Misty, but you can rename her if you wish.’

‘Misty… I like it.’ Lexie smiled over at him.

Over the following months, Loki and Lexie spent a lot of time together. Hanging out with Misty, training together and also swapping books and reading together. They really enjoyed one another’s company, and it wasn’t often that they were apart, actually.

One morning they were training together. Lexie was working with her bow and arrow when Loki joined her, after finishing some fighting with Thor.

‘You are rather arrow ace at this.’ Loki grinned at her when she hit the target right in the middle.

Lexie looked at Loki, an eyebrow up. Clearly not amused at his little joke. ‘Really?’ She rolled her eyes, making him laugh.

‘You love me really.’ He nudged her playfully with his hip.

She just shook her head and took aim again at the target.

[omfgtrump]

A Light At The End OF The Tunnel

I know I said goodbye, but I just couldn’t stay away. Though The Don, for now, is banished and Twitterless in Mar-a-Lago, he still is the primary power broker in the feckless Republican party. Though I am living less inside a Trumpian pinball machine, lurching from outrage to outrage, I am still living in a world of Republican offal that fills me with bile. The thing about bile, is that if you store too much it makes you sick, and frankly- I could do without that. So thank you for letting me share some of my bile with you.

But there is hope in America. We have a president who is getting things done. 50% of Americans have received at least one shot of the vaccine, and 31% are fully vaccinated.

We have a president that doesn’t insult people or suggest foreign policy on Twitter.

We have a president who is committed to tackling economic inequality and acknowledges institutional racism.

We have a president who has proposed bold initiatives in the battle to change the devastating course and impact of climate change.

We have a president who is proposing a real infrastructure bill, which will create millions of jobs, fix our dilapidated roads and bridges, expand broadband throughout the country, and address issues of childcare.

We have a president that believes in democracy. Now how strange is that?

There is light at the end of the tunnel of despair that we have all been living in this past year.

But all light is not the same. Remember ultraviolet light?

You know that stuff you can get inside the body and zap the hell out of the virus to stop it dead in its tracks? Mix a little Clorox in there, and abracadabra, 1, 2, 3 goodbye Coronavirus. That light?

Remember Deborah Birx, sitting there sheepishly, saying nothing, as The Don waxed on about the beauty of these treatments. (Just weeks before, Birx gave credibility to this dangerously delusional man by telling the nation that the Don was a smart dude you was doing a deep dive into the data.)

Well we just passed the one-year anniversary of that event!

By that point, 50,000 had already died. More than 500,000 more have died since then. How did the data man perform, Dr. Birx? Did he just forget to add three zeros in his calculations? Did his disregard of social distancing and masks throw the numbers off? Did his disregard for human life fuck up his calculations?

The Prince of Darkness’s denial and refusal to deal with reality, coupled with the complicity of those charged to protect us and give us the truth, led to what I have called The Genocide of Neglect.

The pain and suffering this caused is immeasurable. The narcissism and idiocy of the man charged with leading us out of this devastation pushed us further into it. It’s like a general telling his troops to go into enemy territory without a plan of action. Imagine the general saying:

General: Go forth, and let the light be your guide.

Soldier: But general, it’s certain death for us all.

General: Just follow the light and all will be well.

Soldier: Are you leading us into battle, sir?

General: Umm, wish I could, but I have a golf game set up. Remember, the light will be with you.

Soldier: You mean “The force will be with you.”

General: Whatever.  

After watching the ultraviolet news conference rewind, I had a nightmare. Think “Handmaid’s Tale” with Mr. Clean as the top dog.

In the dream, Mr. Clean is making a speech from his golf course.

“Today is a great day in America. We have cure for the Coronavirus. Frankly, vaccine roll out has been a real pain in the ass and most of MAGA world ain’t rolling up their sleeves, risking damage to their tattoos for nobody. They are the real Americans.

So what are we doing about it? Dr. Birx, isn’t this the coolest thing ever? Today I am announcing we will be opening up sun tanning salons across America. For anyone who has symptoms or just tested positive, this is for you. Pop-up salons will appear on every corner where the people, rather than getting a shot in the arm, can get a suntan while the coronavirus is being eradicated in your body. Talk about two-for-one deals! The initiative is called: “Shine a Light on America.” Isn’t this amazing, MAGA people? Not only will you stay healthy, but you can get that orange glow and look just like me. And you can have all this for the unbelievably low introductory membership offer of $39.95. This offer includes three ultra-violet treatments, a free MAGA hat, and- wait, wait, wait- a bottle of my new cleansing drink Trumlox, which is three times more potent that any Clorox product. Just think, after a half hour of luxurious tanning, a cool drink to make sure that whatever the light doesn’t get, Trumlox will. But you gotta act now because this is a one-time offer.

I am also announcing some changes in the distribution and delivery of the vaccine. As of today the following changes apply:

In homage to the beautiful new voting laws being enacted across the country, which will ensure that no election is ever stolen again, I am removing 3 out of 4 vaccine sites from every city. Also, those who voted for me will have priority for receiving the vaccine. Who needs voter suppression when you can just eradicate the voter? HA! Ha! Just joking. God, you all take me so seriously. Can’t you tell when I am being sarcastic?

Yes, that was my nightmare. But honestly, if The Don had won (remember, in the battleground states it was so close, and 77 million people did vote for him despite how he practically destroyed the country!). What kind of real nightmare would we be living in now?

And though there is light at the end of the tunnel, darkness, in the form of the Republican Party, looms everywhere. The very essence of our democracy is challenged everyday by a soulless, power hungry, obstructionist bunch of scoundrels who deny science, talk about the January 6th insurrection as if it were an unruly picnic that broke out into a food fight. 50% of Republicans still believe the election was not legitimate and the assault on voting rights and the encouragement of a white supremacist narrative is front and center. The dog whistle has morphed into a bull horn. The Republicans need to be called out for the vile offal they are. To do justice to the G.O.P’s vileness, I have renamed the Grand Old Party, the Grand Offal Party.

Umm, now that I think about it, that’s a great name for a new blog! I’ll very soon be hard at work getting a new website set up to host these new articles; so in the meantime, please feel free to sign up to be notified when it goes live:

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So if you you enjoyed OMFG, I hope you continue the journey with me. The Don may be gone (for now), but the lies carry on, and the siege against decency and democracy continues.

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[orangetvnaija]

Twitter reacts as Oscar disqualifies Genevieve Nnaji's movie 'Lionheart' 

On Monday, November 4, 2019, the news broke that 'Lionheart' had been rejected by the Oscars. The major reason being that it was submitted in the wrong category. Trust Nigerians, as they took to Twitter to express their displeasure over what would have been Nigeria's bright up at clinching an Oscar award.

Genevieve Nnaji's 'Lionheart' was released in 2018 and Nigerians welcomed it with opened arms. The reception the movie got showed that the actress turned movie director did something right.

From being the first Nigerian movie on Netflix to that famous interview with Richard Quest on 'Quest Means Business' on CNN, it was obvious Genevieve wasn't joking.

      Mazi Olisaemeka C. ™@OlisaOsega

Even some Nigerians opposed the movie lionheart when it was sent to the oscars. I guess y��all are happy now?

6:59 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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    Steve Pond

·  10h  

And then there were 92, because Nigeria submitted a film mostly in English to the category formerly known as Best Foreign Language Film.  https://www.thewrap.com/academy-disqualifies-nigerias-oscar-entry-lionheart/ …

  Academy Disqualifies Nigeria's Oscar Entry 'Lionheart'

The film, Nigeria's first-ever submission in the Best International Feature Film category, is largely in English, which makes it ineligible to compete

thewrap.com

      Amotekun (+234)@adebowalesonubi

They are all confused - Oscar is overrated anyway ......AFRICA should build more world-class studios across the continent like Tyler Perry #Lionheart

2:57 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      Samira Sawlani

Lionheart was today disqualified from the Oscar’s Best Intl Film.. because.. it is mostly in English.

Nigeria was colonised by the Brits.

English is an official language in the Country.

You really can’t win with this lot.

Quite literally cannot win. https://twitter.com/samirasawlani/status/1179660519000686592 …

Samira Sawlani

Nigeria just submitted Lionheart for Best Intl Film at the Oscars:

Queen @queenetonde

They colonized our countries, forced us to learn their language, and now we’re getting penalized for using the same language. Make it make sense...English is Nigeria’s official language, this is absolute trash. @TheAcademy DO BETTER! #lionheart https://twitter.com/ava/status/1191481642734387200 …

Ava DuVernay

To @TheAcademy, You disqualified Nigeria’s first-ever submission for Best International Feature because its in English. But English is the official language of Nigeria. Are you barring this country from ever competing for an Oscar in its official language? https://www.thewrap.com/academy-disqualifies-nigerias-oscar-entry-lionheart/ …

1:23 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      Mo!@mobiuwakwe

You are free to support @TheAcademy 's decision on #LionHeart .

But the moment you add any phrase like "It's not like it stood any chance of winning", that's a bitter leaf part of your life manifesting to the fore.

In the preffered language of the academy - e wù animanu!

5:01 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      DaddyMo @therealdaddymo1

The Academy has disqualified “Lionheart” from the Oscars for Best International Feature Film because it’s mostly in English, which violates the rules that entries in the category must have predominantly non-English dialogue.

Still a very good movie but “the rules are the rules”.

5:23 AM - Nov 5, 2019 ·  Al Rayyan, Qatar

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      Peyton@YungNoodl3

Wow, considering literally none of the Oscar voters give a flying fuck about the international films category and just go with whatever they think sounds coolest or can vaguely understand some of what they’re saying minutes you’d think they’d be all over Nigeria’s #lionheart

3:33 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      HeWillLaugh@HeWillLaughLast

Wait a minute. So, the Colonial system says the folk from Nigeria have been disqualified because they use too much of the Colonial language. Seriously?! #lionheart

3:37 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      Crown Prince SugaB

I really need to stress that the problem with #Lionheart being nominated or not nominated for the #Oscars has nothing to do with whether it’s in English or not.

THE FILM IS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Period.

Imagine expecting Lionheart to stand next to Parasite in the Nominations.

3:38 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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    The Academy

·  15h  

Ready for the work week.

      julie@mmai925

Should read: Ready to beat the Academy’s ass for dropping #Lionheart despite the renamed “International Feature Film” category. Show that you want to “[promote] a positive and inclusive view of filmmaking...”.

Or keep the category the same if you’re playing by the same rules imo

4:02 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      hooty1212@sf2010calif

“International” or “Foreign” Award for films involving “non-Americans” speaking their national language is @TheAcademy token deference & latent colonial desire to “Hear the Natives” even while straining to read the English subtitles.@GenevieveNnaji1 #Lionheart @ava #OneNigeria

6:00 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      Desmond.O@Desmond_Olusoji

According to  @TheAcademy  #lionheart should have been acted in Nigerian and not English

6:08 AM - Nov 5, 2019 ·  Abuja, Nigeria

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      ga-bri-el shut @gt_shube

I haven't even seen #Lionheart, nor am I really all that invested in the world of cinema, but I just KNOW yall some boomers @TheAcademy

6:10 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      ga-bri-el shut @gt_shube

I haven't even seen #Lionheart, nor am I really all that invested in the world of cinema, but I just KNOW yall some boomers @TheAcademy

6:10 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      Abiona Tolu@thor_lhu

I'm hearing all this fuss about Lionheart and @TheAcademy.

Why didn't Nigeria just submit Kesari?#TuesdayThoughts

6:22 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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      Mazi Efam™ #SantaInIbadan@iefamharris

I'm sure if Lionheart was scripted completely in Igbo with English subtitles, it wouldn't even be recognised. But Genevieve decided, in all magnanimousity to create an inclusive movie that can appeal to a wider audience, yet, "Nigerians shouldn't speak so much English".

6:40 AM - Nov 5, 2019

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[caddyxjellyby]

Alcott Readathon 2018: Rose in Bloom (1876)

Coming Home Rose, Phebe, and Uncle Alec return from two years in Europe. Jamie, Archie, Mac, and Charlie meet them at the docks. “[S]he received the impression that Archie was about the same, that Mac had decidedly improved, and that something was amiss with Charlie.” Archie has joined the family shipping business, Mac graduated from College (Harvard I guess?) with honors, and Charlie was “suspelled or expended” as Jamie says. Aunt Peace has passed away while Aunt Plenty maintains the home fires on the Aunt-Hill. Rose announces that she has chosen a career in philanthropy. Charlie condescends that she'll get tired of it and she responds, "I am sorry you have so low an opinion of women: there was a time when you believed in them sincerely." Then she lines the boys up and stares at them, just like they did to her in the first book. She's such a delightful character. Phebe sings and Archie falls in love with her.

Mac to Rose: "I was thinking Leigh Hunt was about right when he said, 'A girl is the sweetest thing God ever made.'"

Amusing how LMA makes sure to signal the endgame pairing right at the beginning.

Old Friends with New Faces

Jamie is the captain of his baseball team. Mac will study medicine.

Ariadne, renamed Annabel, comes to see Rose's Paris gowns, but Rose didn't buy any, to Annabel's shock. There was a real Ariadne Blish whose name LMA heard years before and put in the book, forgetting that it was a person's. Blish found it and wrote to LMA that she was “very much hurt” at the use. LMA apologized and changed the name.

Charlie visits and tells her that Annabel and Fun See are courting. Like Amy with Laurie, Rose scolds him for being lazy, but he thinks there should be a gentleman of leisure in every family.

Miss Campbell

The narrator catches us up: Rose is now 21, which makes Phebe 23. She trained her voice in Europe. Rose confesses to Uncle Alec that she'd like to try the society life for a few months.

At her coming-out party Uncle Mac and Alec gossip. Mac Sr thinks Rose should marry Archie, but Alec doesn't approve of cousins marrying, and then says that if she were to marry anyone he would prefer Mac. “What, my Ugly Duckling?” says his father before joking about Alec falling in love with Phebe.

Thorns Among the Roses

Rose confides in Alec about people liking her for her money and young men proposing to her.

"Do you want another three months of this?" 

"I'll tell you on New Year's day, uncle." "Very well: try to keep a straight course, my little captain; and, if you see dirty weather ahead, call on your first mate." "Ay, ay, sir; I'll remember."

Prince Charming

Charlie brings Rose her mail and plays secretary by answering them. Going through her desk he finds a ring his father gave her in and she suggests she visit him in Calcutta like a dutiful son.

Charlie was the only one of the boys who ever called his father "governor:" perhaps because the others knew and loved their fathers, while he had seen so little of his that the less respectful name came more readily to his lips; since the elder man seemed in truth a governor issuing requests or commands, which the younger too often neglected or resented.

He also finds some papers regarding the houses she inherited. She's having them repaired so they can be rented. Just like before, he scoffs at her charity. Now, I don't dislike Charlie, that's just what he does.

He wants to take her to Mrs. Hope's party tomorrow, but she doesn't want “to turn day into night, wasting time that might be better spent; and grow into a fashionable fast girl who can't get on without excitement.”

Polishing Mac

Mac's studying is interrupted by Rose, who wants him to take her to the party. He protests that he never goes, he has nothing to wear, and he can't dance. She knocks all that down. He asks if she's argued with “Adonis” and she says yeah. He agrees in the end:

"If I may hope for the honor," and, rising, he made her a bow which was such a capital imitation of Charlie's grand manner that she forgave him at once, exclaiming with amused surprise,— "Why, Mac! I didn't know you could be so elegant!"

.♥ ♥ ♥

He arrives, dressed all properly, and lifts her into the carriage because she forgot her overshoes. She scolds him and he promises to behave like Turveydrop, the dancing teacher in Bleak House. He dances once with her and then starts chatting with a geologist.

Charlie stayed home because he's mad at her. Drama queen.

"You know Frenzel has shown that the globular forms of silicate of bismuth at Schneeburg and Johanngeorgenstadt are not isometric, but monoclinic in crystalline form; and consequently he separates them from the old eulytite, and gives them the new name Agricolite."

Haha.

Mac departs with the professor, leaving Rose all alone, “both angry and amused.” She hitches a ride with Annabel's mom. He runs back to the party, then to the Aunt-hill. Rose scolds him again for wearing himself out.

Phebe

Phebe makes her own debut at a charity concert for an orphanage. She messes up the first song, but the other two go quite well and everyone sings her praises. Archie confesses his feelings and she's like oh noes. The clan won't approve, she thinks.

But Phebe shook her head with a sad smile; and answered, still with the hard tone in her voice as if forcing back all emotion that she might see her duty clearly,— 

"You could do that, but I never can. Answer me this, Rose, and answer truly as you love me. If you had been taken into a house, a friendless, penniless, forlorn girl, and for years been heaped with benefits, trusted, taught, loved, and made, oh, so happy! could you think it right to steal away something that these good people valued very much? To have them feel that you had been ungrateful, had deceived them, and meant to thrust yourself into a high place not fit for you; when they had been generously helping you in other ways, far more than you deserved. Could you then say as you do now, 'Be happy and never mind them'?"

&Phebe;

Breakers Ahead

Rose tells Aunt Plenty about Archie/Phebe, and she is horrified. Rose defends them.

The boys took it much more calmly. Mac was the only one who came out strongly in Archie's favor. Charlie thought the Chief ought to do better, and called Phebe "a siren, who had bewitched the sage youth." Steve was scandalized, and delivered long orations upon one's duty to society, keeping the old name up, and the danger of mésalliances; while all the time he secretly sympathized with Archie, being much smitten with Kitty Van himself. Will and Geordie, unfortunately home for the holidays, considered it "a jolly lark;" and little Jamie nearly drove his elder brother distracted by curious inquiries as to "how folks felt when they were in love." 

Uncle Mac's dismay was so comical that it kept Dr. Alec in good spirits; for he alone knew how deep was the deluded man's chagrin at the failure of the little plot which he fancied was prospering finely.

Okay, I take back what I said about not disliking Charlie. Phebe backs her trunk and leaves town.

New-Year's Calls [sic]

Everyone pays Plenty a visit. The love affair forms the main topic of conversation. Steve laughs at the idea of Mac ever falling in love. Rose on the other hand thinks he'll be “a regular Douglas, tender and true.” Who is Douglas?

Charlie arrives with a bracelet for Rose and some foreshadowing comments about drinking people's health. She warns him to be careful and as she puts a flower in his buttonhole he kisses her hand. The moment gets interrupted by Aunt Plenty bringing in Fun See and Annabel.

He comes back later, somewhat drunk, and she tells him to go home before Alec returns. But his horse ran away so he falls asleep on the sofa. Rose is Very Disappointed in him and when Alec comes in she can't even say the word drunk.

The Sad and Sober Part

Next morning, Alec has Rose promise not to love Charlie yet. "Firstly, because no woman should give her happiness into the keeping of a man without fixed principles; secondly, because the hope of being worthy of you will help him more than any prayers or preaching of mine. Thirdly, because it will need all our wit and patience to undo the work of nearly four and twenty years.”

Charlie laughs at the incident, she says she's tired of forgiving him, and he responds that she's impossible to please.

Small Temptations

Oh no, I hate this chapter. Steve and Kitty Van Tassel are engaged. This is her third engagement for she says “the only way to really know a man is to be engaged to him. While they want you, they are all devotion; but when they think they've got you, then you find out what wretches they are."

Kitty and Rose go shopping. Aunt Clara recently said she wished Rose would dress better, and she thinks of this when a clerk shows her some opal silk. But some woman named Mrs. Gardener comes in and tells her about a factory fire and Rose gives her $100 for the injured workers.

After Kitty goes home, Rose chances to meet Pemberton, one of her old suitors, and he flirts with her, oh no how horrible.

At home, she finds a French novel that Kitty left and starts reading it. Alec comes in the parlor and comments that her face is red.

The instant his eye fell on the title, he understood the look she wore, and knew what "mischief" she had been in. He knit his brows: then smiled, because it was impossible to help it; Rose looked so conscience-stricken in spite of her twenty years. 

“How do you find it?— interesting?" "Oh, very! I felt as if I was in another world, and forgot all about this." "Not a very good world, I fancy, if you were afraid or ashamed to be found in it. Where did this come from?" asked Dr. Alec, surveying the book with great disfavor. Rose told him, and added slowly,— "I particularly wanted to read it, and fancied I might, because you did when it was so much talked about the winter we were in Rome."

I think it's probably not meant to be an actual book. The time skip means that Rose in Bloom is set a few years into the future. It's simply French, which means sex, and I know it's a different era but come on, she's 21. Couldn't Alec be wrong once in each volume? Oh wait, any knowledge of the existence of sex immediately causes girls to go out and ravish the nearest man, I forgot about that.

At Kitty's Ball

The chapter opens with Jane and Jessie discussing the cousins, while Jessie secretly wonders why the heck Mac married Jane. They both think Rose will end up with Charlie, who's escorting her.

Annabel and Fun See are now engaged and Rose and Mac laugh over her having to eat rats and puppies. Um.

Mac asks Rose how he might catch the love-disease that is going around.

"Go about and see people; make yourself agreeable, and not sit in corners observing other people as if they were puppets dancing for your amusement. I heard Mrs. Van once say that propinquity works wonders; and she ought to know, having married off two daughters, and just engaged a third to 'a most charming young man.'" 

"Good lack! the cure sounds worse than the disease. Propinquity, hey? Why, I may be in danger this identical moment, and can't flee for my life," said Mac, gently catching her round the waist for a general waltz.

Oh my gosh, just make out already.

“the four damsels streamed downstairs together like a wandering rainbow.” I like that line.

The guys at the party pressure Charlie to drink and Mac scolds them for it.

Both Sides

STEVE: I am so good at romance.

CHARLIE: Your girl doesn't have any ~notions~.

STEVE: Dude, respect her notions.

ARCHIE: Aren't you lucky.

MAC: "'His worth shines forth the brightest who in hope Always confides: the abject soul despairs,'"

Charlie expresses the opinion that “better women” ask too much of men, while Mac thinks "It is very unreasonable in us to ask women to be saints, and then expect them to feel honored when we offer them our damaged hearts, or, at best, ones not half as good as theirs. If they weren't blinded by love, they'd see what a mean advantage we take of them, and not make such bad bargains."

Rose and Kitty have their own talk about marrying in haste and repenting in leisure, as Kitty almost did with her first fiance. Kitty also says people think Rose and Charlie are engaged.

Aunt Clara's Plan

Being seriously alarmed by the fear of losing the desire of his heart, Charlie had gone resolutely to work, and, like many another young reformer, he rather overdid the matter; for, in trying to keep out of the way of temptation, he denied himself much innocent enjoyment. The artistic fit was a good excuse for the seclusion which he fancied would be a proper penance; and he sat listlessly plying crayon or paint-brush, with daily wild rides on black Brutus, which seemed to do him good; for danger of that sort was his delight.

One day Clara sends Rose a letter asking her to talk to Charlie. He plans to visit his father, and Clara will come with him – on the condition that Rose accompanies them. She declines.

Alas for Charlie!

In spite of much internal rebellion, Charlie held fast to his resolution; and Aunt Clara, finding all persuasions vain, gave in, and prepared to accompany him, in a state of chronic indignation against the world in general and Rose in particular. The poor girl had a hard time of it, and, but for her uncle, would have fared still worse. He was a sort of shield, upon which Mrs. Clara's lamentations, reproaches, and irate glances fell unavailingly, instead of wounding the heart against which they were aimed.

I really don't like Aunt Clara.

Archie arrives at the house one morning. Charlie met some “cronies” who took him to a dinner party, and he went home in a storm (literal) and fell off Brutus. Archie cries, aww.

He dies the day after. Before he goes Rose reads him the Prayer for the Dying and kisses him on the lips.

Good Works

There was much mourning for the bonny Prince, but no need to tell of it except as it affected Rose; for it is with her we have most to do, the other characters being of secondary importance.

Our heroine returns to her philanthropy, such as setting up a summer resort for the orphans. Mac arrives there one day with a toddler whose mother died and asked him to look after her. Aunt Jane won't have her in the house so Rose takes her. Dead mom didn't mention a name so Rose calls her Dulcinea, Mac being her Quixote.

Among the Hay-cocks

Rose takes Dulce to Cosy Corner. Aunt Jessie secretly arranges for Phebe and Archie to meet there.

Mac also visits and they flirt – okay, not really, but when you know the ending it's shippy dialogue.

"Keats? I didn't know you condescended to read any thing so modern," she said, moving the paper to see the page beneath.

Mac looked up, snatched the book out of her hand, and shook down several more scraps; then returned it with a curiously shame-faced expression, saying, as he crammed the papers into his pocket,— "I beg pardon, but it was full of rubbish. Oh, yes! I'm fond of Keats; don't you know him?" "I used to read him a good deal; but uncle found me crying over the 'Pot of Basil,' and advised me to read less poetry for a while or I should get too sentimental," answered Rose, turning the pages without seeing them; for a new idea had just popped into her head. "' The Eve of St. Agnes' is the most perfect love-story in the world, I think," said Mac, enthusiastically.

He reads it to her and she asks if he writes and he denies before confessing. And in a bit of reverse nepotism on Alcott's part, he's been reading Thoreau and Emerson. When they part he notes that she looks “Sort of pre-Raphaelite, and quite refreshing after the furbelowed creatures at the hotels."

Which was it?

Rose takes his recommendation and they write back and forth discussing the essays. That sounds so nice. When she leaves Cosy Corner for home he visits her. He shaved his beard! And he's totally in love with her, though I don't think she realizes.

After that, Rose saw very little of him for several weeks, as he seemed to be making up for lost time, and was more odd and absent than ever when he did appear. As she became accustomed to the change in his external appearance, she discovered that he was altering fast in other ways, and watched the "distinguished-looking gentleman" with much interest; saying to herself, when she saw a new sort of dignity about him alternating with an unusual restlessness of manner, and now and then a touch of sentiment, "Genius is simmering, just as I predicted."

He writes her a poem for her birthday. “The whole thing suited her exactly, it was so delicate and perfect in its way; for she was tired of costly gifts, and valued very much this proof of her cousin's taste and talent, seeing nothing in it but an affectionate desire to please her.”

She kisses him for it, and he bursts out, “It isn't genius: it is— love!"

Rose replies that she's very fond of him but not in love. “I'll try to be satisfied with that," he says.

Behind the Fountain

Archie attends the church where Phebe sings. She's become quite popular there. It's been a year, but she won't return. “I want to be famous, to do something for you all, to make some sacrifice for Rose, and, if I can, to have something to give up for your sake. Let me wait and work longer: I know I haven't earned my welcome yet."

He tells her Mac loves Rose, which she already guessed from Rose's letter not talking about him.

What Mac Did

He publishes a book of poetry. “Unpretending as it was, this had the true ring, and its very simplicity showed conscious power; for, unlike so many first attempts, the book was not full of "My Lady," neither did it indulge in Swinburnian convulsions about "The lilies and languors of peace, The roses and raptures of love;" or contain any of the highly colored mediæval word-pictures so much in vogue.”

Uncle Mac and Aunt Jane are very proud, even though she isn't into poetry. Alec is even prouder.

Rose confides that she's kind of jealous of Phebe and Mac's talents, and he reminds her of all she does – nursing Plenty, mothering Dulce.

How Phebe Earned Her Welcome

Alec catches some illness from Portuguese emigrants, which is rather distasteful to read. He almost dies but Phebe nurses him through it. Hooray for her!

Short and Sweet

Rose: “You said you'd make me love you, and you've done it. Will you believe me now?"

Mac: “Now I'm satisfied! No: don't slip away so soon; let me keep you for one blessed minute, and feel that I have really found my Psyche."

Rose: “And I my Cupid.”

Echoing Amy and Laurie, they vow to work together and make the world brighter.

No review next month. I want a break.

[takerfoxx]

Another day, another Subconscious preview, and I am blazing through this book! Like, I thought I was going to have to fight through tremendous writer’s block due to switching gears into new characters, but nope! Looks like all those years of preparation are paying off!

It was somewhat interesting, as Sir Mane reflected as he settled into luxurious chair in his private box at the Ava Adore Theater, how wars are named.

Certainly there seemed to be little rhyme or reason. Some, especially single battles, took their name from the place whose soil soaked up the blood. Others from the date in which they happened. Still others got their titles from what was accomplished, such as the Tyrannical War or the War of Jewels. Whatever the case, there just seemed to be little consistency between them.

Take the two most significant wars in Nightmare history. The Nightmare War, in which Thelonious the Silent decided that he was no longer content with ruling over a full fourth of Nod and tried to take the whole pie, was named, of course, after the people who started it, who fired the first shot, who were the most central players in the whole dismal, bloody affair. And ultimately, they were the ones who lost, losing their Progenitor in the process with no heir to take up the mantle of Monarch. The interesting thing to note was that at the time, it wasn't known as the Nightmare War. After all, the Nightmares weren't even called the Nightmares back then, as the one who would provide the name hadn't even been born yet. From all accounts, it was known as the Screaming War while it was still in progress, with the rename occurring much later, starting off as a nickname that eventually took hold and became official in the history books.

On the other hand, despite its similarities, the Marauder War took a different road. Like its elder brother, the Marauder War had been started by the Nightmares. They had been the aggressors, the instigators, the ones who bore the responsibility. As was the case with the Nightmare War, they had done so out of greed, seeking to steal something that they had no right to. In both cases, they had been wholly unprepared for their enemies' response, leaving them a broken and bewildered people, with less standing than they had begun with. And finally, though the Nightmares had taken the brunt of the damage, the end results had still sent shockwaves throughout Nod, forever changing its destiny.

The difference was that the Nightmare War had been named after the losers, as an eternal reminder of their greed and stupidity. On the other hand, the Marauder War was named after the victors. Before they had brought the Nightmares to heel and forced their surrender, the Marauders had been seen as little more than pests, nuisances that bore watching but had little to do with Nod's affairs. So long as they remained in their world, they weren't worth the effort to bother with. Funny how things changed.

Another difference was how much time had elapsed. The Marauder War had only taken place a scarce seventy-four years ago, and many still lived that remembered it. It was recent enough to pervade public consciousness, and was a sore enough subject in many circles that joking about it was considered poor taste.

Naturally, the only thing to do then was to produce a rock opera about it.

The Table and the Tunnel was certainly a controversial production. It retold the events that had led up to the Marauder War and the circumstances of its ending in broad strokes. The personalities of its players were exaggerated, their motivations twisted and several key moments ignored while others warped. To this the producers were unapologetic, citing artistic license. "An entertaining production is more important than historical accuracy!" claimed its writer. To this, critics had been unimpressed, as it was exceedingly clear that the goal of the play was to rewrite history, demonizing one side while propping up the other as misunderstood heroes. The agenda was as clear as day, and the producers' stalwart refusal to admit as such had earned them some very vocal opponents. Protestors were common sights at performances.

Of course, all of this combined with the attractiveness and charisma of its leads and an undeniably catchy soundtrack meant that it was a smash hit. The price of a ticket was obscene and often sold out well in advance. And as one of its principal bankrollers, Sir Mane had profited greatly from its success.

However, money was not the reason he had personally invested in its production. He had more than enough already. No, his reasons were much more personal, and the play's success was satisfying to him on a deeply intimate level. He would have ensured its production even if not a single ticket were ever sold. And he had already seen it three times.

The lights dimmed, and the babble of voices in the audience below, the overwhelming majority of them Nightmares, died down to be replaced with loud cheers and whistles. Smirking, Sir Mane settled down to enjoy the show.

But as the opening chords of the rock ballad The World Beneath began, he became aware that the door to his private box was opening behind him. Frowning, he turned in his seat, wondering who could be so bold to interrupt him and why the guards he had stationed outside had let them through. It had better be good, or they had better be dead.

A plain-faced young man, barely out of childhood and dressed in an ill-fitting tux, walked in. Sir Mane's icy blue eyes were already cold and malicious, something that newspaper caricatures took delight in emphasizing. But now they were downright frigid. If there was one thing he hated more than being interrupted it was children. Already he was mentally figuring out how to dispose of the body.

His hands stuck into his pockets, the young man smirked at him. Then without so much as a greeting or an apology he walked over to slip into the empty seat next to Sir Mane.

And with that, the boy's death warrant was signed.

But before Sir Mane could translate murderous intent into action, the boy's features dissolved like the picture in an old-fashioned, poorly-tuned television. When they came back into focus, Sir Mane found himself sitting next to someone else entirely.

The man looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, with northern European features, a strong, clean-shaven jaw, neatly trimmed salt-and-pepper hair, and storm cloud eyes as cold as Sir Mane's. Though old age was still far away, his face was lined with the wrinkles of a much older man, denoting a man accustomed to submerging himself in weighty affairs. His charcoal black suit now fit him exquisitely. There was a gold ring set with a ruby on his left hand, and a large golden watch on his right wrist. The side of his lip curled up in a manner that might be a smile and might not be. Either way, it did not reach his eyes.

Slowly exhaling, Sire Mane settled back into his chair. "Your Highness," he said, his tone conveying nothing but respect. "This is an…unexpected pleasure."

Prince Claudio Borgia nodded cordially. The eldest son of King Savio Borgia, Claudio was the crown prince of Kanon, a title that might be meaningless in light of his father's immortality, but given that both the original Antoine Borgia, Progenitor to the Kanon, and his son and heir had met with untimely ends three hundred years apart, Claudio's chances of one day taking the throne were higher than one might expect.

Whether or not that should happen depended on who you talked to. Certainly, there was no denying that Claudio was far more intelligent than his passionate, impulsive father, and would make a far more competent Monarch. However, he was also considerably more ruthless, considerably more dangerous, and considerably more feared. It was whispered that Savio had fathered him upon a Nightmare woman. Those that believed so were fools. One didn't need to be a Nightmare in order to be dangerous.

"Clearly," Claudio murmured in his soft, deadly voice, one that was often described as being like a velvet sheathe covering a killing blade. "Apologies for disturbing you, Sir Mane. But if word got out that we were speaking, then uncomfortable questions might arise."

Sir Mane frowned. "Then…forgive me, but wouldn't surprising me at a public venue still cause whispers to spread?"

Claudio's not-a-smile grew ever so slightly. "It is of no consequence. No one save for you recognizes me for who I am. In fact, no one save for you can even see me right now."

Sir Mane slowly breathed out. He was not a man without power. In fact, were the whole of Nod placed onto a list, he would rank in the upper echelon. But the power wielded by the Monarchs and their families was nothing short of terrifying.

Down below, on the stage, the actors playing the parts of Lord Eric of Thorns and the nefarious Dr. Croencore were singing a comedic duet listing all of the Marauders' worst traits, of which they had several. Lord Eric was already a handsome man and the actor selected to portray him had been cast accordingly. However, by all accounts. Dr. Croencore had not been easy on the eyes, and the things he had done had made him an unpopular figure in history. As such, Sir Mane had made sure that the person selected to play him was darkly handsome, with a commanding stage presence, formidable acting ability, and a deep, bass voice with no fewer than three musical numbers. Even the play's harshest critics admitted that he stole the show.

Even Prince Claudio seemed impressed. "You know, my little sister has the soundtrack to this play. This piece is a favorite of hers."

"Really," Sir Mane said. "I'm surprised that your father would allow this."

"Oh, he doesn't," Claudio said amiably. "He doesn't even know. The old man hates this play. In fact, he tried to have it banned from ever being performed anywhere in Kanon

"I remember," Sir Mane said. He didn't ask what the prince was even doing there. When Claudio wanted to tell him, he would. "He doesn't object that strongly to how we portrayed the Marauders, does he?

Claudio chuckled. "Well, he does appreciate how the Marauders knocked the Nightmares down a peg or two dozen. That in itself has caused him to look upon them favorably. But no, it's less of that and more of how well you made the Nightmares look."

"Ah."

Claudio shrugged. "The Nightmares killed our Progenitor and his successor, my father's grandfather and father. He is one to hold a grudge. Understandable, but wearying in the long run."

"And you?"

Another shrug. "I never knew my great-grandfather. I respect him, of course. But I never knew him. And I barely remember my grandfather. The Nightmares deserved their humiliation, yes, but that was a long time ago. If the current regime wishes to make amends, I say it's best to let them. Besides, we cannot allow ourselves to remain blind to the threat the Marauders pose."

The edge of Sir Mane's mouth twitched just a centimeter. It lasted less than a second, but Prince Claudio caught it.

"See?" he said, his smile finally becoming something real. "You agree." He looked back down to the performance, where the primary antagonist was taking the stage for his introductory number. As was customary, the audience booed him with enthusiasm. "The Marauders have not been shy about using their stranglehold on the Nightmares to push their influence out into our world. You know this. Jacob Draco especially grows bolder every year."

"Does he," Sir Mane growled.

On the stage, the character of Jacob Draco, Super Clanmaster of the Marauders, began singing his appropriately bombastic trash-metal signature song, bragging about his schemes and designs on taking all of the world of Nod for his own. The actor was a particular point of pride for Sir Mane, as he nailed the slimy, conniving, duplicitous character with perfection, with grating, nasal singing voice to boot. The fact that he hadn't even hit puberty yet had garnered him much acclaim, and the rest of the cast were quick to let people know that the actual boy was the sweetest thing ever and nothing like the vile person he played.

"Sir Mane, please don't plead ignorance," Claudio said as they watched the fictional depiction of the actual person they were discussing. "You know full well that he's already purchased a number of industrial properties, many of which you yourself had your eye on. And we have reason to suspect that he's been making a push into the entertainment industry as well. We know you've already been undercut several times and had assets you already owned bought out from beneath you. He is aggressively pushing into your territory. And we both know how protective you are of what's rightfully yours."

Sir Mane felt his jaw tighten. He didn't really have the best poker face, true, and Prince Claudio's words were scoring several hits. "What do you want from me?" he said, his voice hoarse.

"Your assistance." Prince Claudio steepled his fingers in front of his face as he continued to watch the performance. "We are in the process of putting together, shall we say, an organization, one that will be tasked with stopping the Marauders in their tracks and force them back into their tunnels."

Sir Mane had to snicker at that. "Good look with that. You know how the Marauders are about their rules. Hurt one, and you bring the whole swarm down on your heads."

"True," Claudio admitted. "But there is something of a loophole, a place where, according to their own rules, anything goes."

That made Sir Mane blink with surprise. No, he couldn't be suggesting what it sounded like he was suggesting. "The Unconscious?" he said, perhaps a bit more loudly than he should have. "You're taking the fight to the Marauders in the Unconscious?"

Unperturbed, Claudio merely said, "There are many who feel that they've been given free rein to plunder dreams long enough. There is more than sufficient reason to suspect that their thieving has had a negative effect on the dreamkind that spawn from dreams that they've stolen from." He quirked an eyebrow, his stormy grey eyes glancing meaningfully at the man sitting next to him. "Besides, if the rumors that they've begun kidnapping fetal dreamkind before the dream has even ended are true, then that in itself is more than enough reason to put a stop to things."

Sir Mane was shocked. Part of the reason why nobody had bothered to do anything about the Marauders until the Nightmares' misguided attempt to steal their power was that, for the most part, the Marauders kept their activities restricted to the Unconscious, sneaking into dreams and taking whatever odd baubles caught their eye. Conducting raids upon those who lived in Nod was heavily frowned upon, which was something of a relief, as killing, harming, or holding a Marauder against their will in Nod was tantamount to an act of war, as the Nightmares had been surprised to find out. Besides, with the Warrens that they called home being inaccessible to anyone but themselves, stamping out their nests was all but impossible, whereas they could strike anytime, anywhere should they be provoked. As such, so long as the little rats kept their plundering restricted to dreams, then the rest of the world had to content itself with pretending that they didn't exist.

The war had changed that. The Nightmares had broken those rules, and had paid the price for their foolishness. And ever since then the Marauders had been growing more and more bold. There were rumors of raids taking place on the smaller settlements, farmsteads, and unclaimed territories. People claimed to have seen Marauders walking the streets, plain as day. One particularly disturbing incident had occurred only a few weeks ago, in which a group of drunk young men had attacked what they swore was a Marauder raiding party but had turned out to be group of schoolchildren walking home from the theater. Luckily there hadn't been any serious injuries, but it did speak to the growing fear that came from the Marauder clans breaking their traditional borders and everyone being unable to do anything about it.

However, like Prince Claudio, there was a loophole, a way to strike back without violating the Marauders' strict code. The Unconscious itself, where the dreams of humanity created the denizens of Nod, a virtual no-man's-land as far as the Marauders were concerned. According to their rules, those who entered a dreamer's dream did so at their own peril. And while no Marauder would dare take advantage of that loophole to murder another while in a dream, there was, as Claudio had just pointed out, nothing preventing someone else from doing the same.

Sir Mane slowly breathed out. This was…this was going to change everything. "It's still dangerous," he said. "Dreams don't last long enough to set any proper traps. And where are you planning on taking any Marauders you capture?"

"I never said anything about capturing them," Prince Claudio murmured.

Silence.

Back on the stage, the current song came to an end, as Sir Eric of Thorns lamented the circumstances that had driven him to such extremes. The applause eventually died down, and as the room darkened to signal a scene change, Sir Mane said, "What you're proposing is extremely dangerous. Sure, it's a loophole, but you can't expect the Marauders to do nothing. They'll declare war regardless."

"Some will want to, yes," Claudio responded. "Others won't be so eager."

Sir Mane frowned. "Meaning?"

"We have reason to believe that tensions have started to rise between the clans. They were always a disorganized bunch, squabbling and competing amongst themselves. They united during the war, certainly, but that was a long time ago. As we understand it, the fact that Jacob Draco kept the power he accumulated during the war has rankled some nerves, and whatever goodwill he gained for winning is now all but spent."

Now this was interesting. Sir Mane's own sources had also said as such, but nothing had been confirmed. His brow furrowed, Sir Mane leaned in closer and listened.

"If you'll recall, it took some time for the Marauders to fully commit to the war, and that was after the Nightmares had blatantly violated their rules," Claudio continued. "It wasn't until the purpose of Dr. Croencore's experiments came to light that they panicked. It is our hope that striking at them while respecting the letter of the law of their rules will further inflame those tensions, driving a wedge between those who wish to strike back and those reluctant to enter into another conflict."

"Maybe, but that'll just make them more reckless," Mane countered. "Even if there isn't another war, the pressure will just motivate Jacob to accelerate whatever he's doing."

"Indeed," Claudio said with a soft smile. "We're counting on it, actually."

And then Mane got it. "This is what you need me for, isn't it?"

Claudio nodded. "No one knows the extent of Jacob Draco's push into our world like you do. No one's resisted him as long as you have. As his principal…business rival, you're in a unique position to upset whatever it is he has planned. Only now you'll be doing it with our backing."

"Really. And are you sure they'll be so anxious to have me? After all, I am not a popular figure in many circles."

"Oh, your necromantic hobbies don't bother us much. We're not looking for public support. We're looking for results." Then Claudio make a cursory scan of the audience below them. "By the by, are those two infamous monsters of yours about?"

"They're where I need them," Mane answered, his voice betraying nothing. "Back to the point, what if war does result?"

"Oh, I feel that's inevitable at this point," Claudio said, his tone disturbingly casual for such a weighty pronouncement. "But this way, we'll be in a far better position to fight back and eventually crush them when it does. Furthermore, you'll have our full support and protection should they turn their destructive attention toward you and your properties."

"Ah. And if I may, who exactly does we include?"

"Why, all of us," Prince Claudio said. "The Kanon, the Desios, and the Sahks. The Nightmares are, of course, excluded, but we have every reason that should open hostilities erupt, they'll be more than happy to throw off the Marauders' yoke and throw in as well."

Mane's head jerked back. "What? Are you serious?"

"I am." Then Claudio grimaced. "Well, for the most part. We're still ironing out the details. The Four Thrones have never been known for being agreeable with one another, but we're making headway. It helps that it was King Azul the Golden's idea."

Now Mane was outright stunned. "Azul is part of this?"

"He's spearheading it, actually." Claudio shrugged and chuckled. "Of course, Father is being contrary, but I'm sure he'll come around. The Sahks are…more or less on board, but with them, who can tell really?"

Mane leaned back into his seat, thinking. This…this changed everything. If what Prince Claudio was saying turned out to be true, then the social and political ramifications were going to be huge. Three of the four dreamkind kingdoms cooperating to exterminate the Marauders once and for all? The Nightmares themselves finally free to seek bloody vengeance? Jacob Draco, cornered like rat, his machinations laid bare while his support base crumbled? The Marauders themselves falling into dissolution and infighting? This was going to shape history for centuries to come!

Of course, dissention or no, the Marauders were going to resist. Even with all four kingdoms united against them, they were sure to put up a hell of a fight. No one really knew the full extent of the resources they had at their disposal, and even if they went down, it was fair to say that they were going to take a number of their enemies down with them. And just by being involved, Mane was going to become a prime target. They were going to try to ruin him, destroy everything he had worked to build, maybe even kill him.

But then, they were going to do that regardless, and with this level of support there was nothing he could lose that he would be unable to rebuild tenfold. And he relished the chance to take the fight back to that conniving snake. Besides, he was very, very hard to kill.

But still…

"There's still problems though," Mane said. "What about the Warrens? We still have no way of accessing them. Dr. Croencore's research was never completed, and he's been missing for years. What if they see this coming and start leveraging the Nightmares against us? What about-"

"The problems and risks are numerous, yes," Claudio said smoothly. Mane bristled at the interruption, but he didn't dare make an issue of it. "And we will be more than happy to discuss them with you at length. But for now, we don't need a sounding board. We need an answer. Are you in or out?"

Mane frowned. "Hypothetically speaking…if I say no, what follows?"

"Then I thank you for your time and leave you to enjoy the rest of the play," Claudio said. "You sacrifice only the opportunities that are to come."

"And you'll trust me not to blab?"

"I don't see how you'll be able to, seeing how I'll be taking all memory of this meeting with me when I leave."

Sir Mane wasn't surprised. Though he was far more resistant to mental manipulation than most people, even his mind would be a cakewalk to alter for a member of one of the royal families. "Fair enough," he said. "I'll have to think about it first."

Claudio nodded in agreement. "Quite reasonable. Take all the time you need. However, before you begin, there is something else I feel I should point out."

Mane was instantly on his guard. This was it: Claudio's trump card. "What is it?" he said guardedly.

Leaning over to whisper into Mane's ear, Claudio said, "He's here."

"What?"

"Jacob Draco. He's here. In this theater."

Mane inhaled sharply through his teeth. "What?"

Moving away, Claudio gestured with one hand out toward the audience. Specifically, to the box across from Mane's. In it sat an unremarkable young man and woman, both of them seeming to be in their late teens or early twenties (though when it came to age, appearance accounted for little) and were dressed wealthily enough to not seem out of place, with the boy wearing an olive-green suit and golden spectacles with thick green lenses while the girl had on a low-cut, frilly red dress and a large red flower stuck into her dark hair. Standing behind them were four men in dark tuxedos, obviously bodyguards.

Mane did not recognize them, and that in itself set off alarm bells. They had bought a ticket for one of the private boxes in his theater, watching his show! He ought to not only know their names, relations, and accomplishments, but also have their parents on speed-dial!

"That's him?" he said, his voice lowering to a snarl. "Are you sure?"

"Quite," Prince Claudio murmured. If he was at all offended at having his word questioned, it didn't show. He made a vague motion with the fingers of his right hand.

Before Mane's eyes, the occupants from the other box changed. Though their outfits remained the same, the boy and girl both shrank in their seats, becoming children nearly a decade younger than they had been. The boy's face darkened, his slicked-back hair thickening into black curls, changing from a bland Caucasian to adopting more Mediterranean features while the girl's complexion paled, her hair darkening and her face changing from English to Korean. As for the large men behind them, they also shrank, turning from burly men to burly teenagers. Though his eyes were shielded by his glasses, the boy was clearly disgusted, his nose wrinkling as he watched the stage. There, Dr. Croencore had little Ellen Richardson strapped to the titular table and was exasperatedly trying to convey his intention to her while the girl cluelessly misinterpreted everything he said, turning the scene into an Abbott and Costello routine.

Mane inhaled deeply through his nostrils and hissed it out through his teeth. That was him. Jacob Draco, in the flesh, accompanied by more of his Marauder filth.

"If you doubt what you're seeing, I remind you that I don't need to cast an illusion in order to manipulate you. I could simply dominate your mind and be done with it," Claudio said mildly. "The only illusion I've created is the one that that admitted me to your box and continues to make it seem that you are sitting alone, enraptured with the play. All I've done here is let your eyes pierce through their own glamour." He waved his hand again, and everyone in the far box regained their false faces.

"I'm not doubting you, your Highness," Mane growled. "What I am, however, is wondering what he's even doing here."

"Oh, that's easy enough. If my rival produced a smash hit musical about what a wicked fellow I was, I would want a closer look as well, if for no other reason to ensure that my songs had the potential to become breakaway pop hits."

Then, as if acting on some sort of cue, the disguised Jacob Draco shook his head and got up to head for the door at the back of the box. Two of the guards immediately followed suit, with the girl and the other two remaining.

"And there he goes," Claudio observed. "Perhaps he knows something's up, or simply had all the stage slander he could stomach. Odd he would leave his date though. Maybe he's just going to the restroom."

Mane took a deep breath. "Right then."

And then he stood up and made for the door.

Before he went too far, Prince Claudio reached up with one hand to grab him by the sleeve. He waited until he had Mane's full attention before saying, "Careful. You do anything to harm or detain him and the war is started prematurely. If you kill him, he'll just become a martyr, and someone else will take his place. We want him destroyed, not dead."

Mane gritted his teeth, but he managed a short nod. "I won't hurt him," he said hoarsely. "I'm just going to show him the door."

Claudio said nothing. The way his eyes bore into Mane's was warning enough. He released Mane's sleeve, and the Death Knight straightened out his coat and continued on his way, out the door, his gloved hands clenching into tight fists.

…

As Sir Mane stormed through the richly decorated halls of the Ava Adore Theater, he pulled his cellphone out of the pocket of his great coat. A few flicks, and he had brought up the theater's camera system, which told him immediately where Jacob Draco was and where he was heading.

Curiously, the Marauder Clanmaster was not making for the stairs, as the first thing a Marauder would do upon sensing danger would be to rush for the ground floor. Instead, he and his muscular entourage were instead moving around the top floor, making their way towards…

Despite his anger, Mane still smirked with amusement. So, it turned out that Jacob really did just need to use the restroom. Well, that was convenient.

Pocketing the phone, Mane continued his relentless march toward his nemesis. As he did, two other figures emerged from separate hallways to fall into step just behind him without losing stride, their long coats swishing as they walked. One was an exceptionally tall Pacific Islander with a neatly trimmed black beard; a large, black leather coat over his tailored black suit; and a wide-brimmed black hat. The other was a white man of average height, with a brown leather trench coat, spiky brown hair, and far too many tacky golden chains around his neck. The tall dark man scowled, the smaller white man smirked, and they matched each other's gait stride for stride.

As Mane turned the corner, he saw a few men gathered around the restroom in question, looking rather annoyed. Stationed in front of the door were the two guards, both of them standing with their arms folded and their expressions blank, staring silently at one especially peeved looking old man in a grey tuxedo who was loudly demanding if they knew who he was and what their names were.

As Mane and his escorts approached, the old man turned his furious attention to him. "Ah, there you are!" he said as he stormed over. "Mr. Mane, I'll have you know that I have been a loyal patron of this theater for years, and never once have I heard of anyone being permitted to clear the restrooms for their private use! This is an absolute-"

"Sir Mane," Mane corrected automatically, his eyes looking past the old man to focus on the guards, who were uncrossing their arms and now looking rather nervous. "And you're right, Mr. Pendanski. We don't permit that."

One of the guards raised a hand to his earpiece while the other reached inside his jacket. Wrong move.

Moving so quickly that those gathered around gasped, Mane suddenly had his hands around the necks of both guards and had them lifted up against the wall. He tossed them to either side, where his associates were waiting.

"Don't move, junior," said the white man in the brown coat in his thick Australian accent. He yanked out one of the sprawling guard's earpiece and crushed it in his hand and leered down at the dumbstruck Marauder. "Or this night's gonna get real interesting."

The tall dark man didn't even bother with threats. He merely disarmed the other guard and stood with his boot planted against the struggling boy's chest.

Without bothering to watch the proceedings, Mane shoved the restroom door aside and went in.

Like one might expect, the Ava Adore Theaters restrooms were as pricey as the rest of it, with each toilet having its own room set in the wall that including a small, private sink, mirror, a television screen keeping its occupants up-to-date with the performance, and cosmetics tray and refreshment table; potted plants; a central fountain; black marble floors; white marble sinks with golden faucets; and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. One of the doors was shut.

And from inside, Mane heard a toilet flush, followed by a rushing faucet.

The stall door opened, and Jacob Draco emerged wiping his hands, still wearing the false face of the bland young man that had granted him access. He apparently had not heard Mane come in, as he didn't seem at all hurried. In fact, he was idly whistling his stage character's signature song.

Then he caught sight of Sir Mane standing there, staring at him, and he froze.

Mane smirked. "Enjoying the play?" he said.

Before Jacob had time to react, Mane was on him, clearing the distance between them in less time than it takes to blink. Seizing the boy by the lapels, he lifted him up and shoved him against the wall.

"Wha, whoa, wait!" Jacob shrieked out, his hands clawing at Mane's arms. "What are you-"

"Shut up," Mane growled. He would have shut him up himself by squeezing his throat, but he was dancing along the line as it was. "Drop the act, Jacob. I know it's you."

Jacob stared down at him, his thick, green glasses giving the gaze an insectoid look. Then he sighed, his body relaxing.

Unlike when Prince Claudio had dropped his own glamour, Jacob literally seemed to shed his, the false face and added height flaking away from him like ash that fell around Mane's hands to disappear before touching the floor. It was like watching a snake shed its skin. In fact, it was exactly that.

"Well," Jacob said, dropping the high, Western American accent he had been using in favor of his natural voice. "I believe the term is 'busted.'"

Mane was not amused. "You have some nerve coming here. What are you doing here, Jacob? This is my theater."

"I wanted to see the rock opera," Jacob responded with a wry smile, his lips opening enough to display two rows of large, sharp, predatory teeth, like those of a wolf, though given his mascot, a dragon would be more accurate. If he was at all concerned with being hoisted into the air by the notorious Death Knight he didn't show it. "And I have to say: the songs are catchy, but surely you could have given me a better voice than that."

Even with rage reddening his vision, Mane was aware that this was the first meeting between himself and the infamous victor of the Marauder War, who held the entire Nightmare government by a tight leash. That might have meant more had Mane not been the boy's elder by several centuries and still remembered when the Marauders were nothing more than a few back-alley gangs of runaway children, stealing food and picking pockets to survive, with the Warrens nothing more than a distant fantasy. Plus, the way Jacob was confidently smirking despite his peril was all kinds of infuriating.

It also occurred to Mane that he had it within his power to make this meeting between them the last, to tear those disrespectful lips right off his face and smash those pointed teeth. The Nightmares would probably thank him.

But even as his body tensed with the thought, he suddenly found himself locked in place, his limbs frozen. Grunting, he tried to move, but it was like an invisible block of ice had set in place around him. He could move his eyes, twitch his nostrils, and tighten his muscles, but any movement beyond that was denied him.

No, Prince Claudio's silky voice spoke into his mind. Do not.

Mane gritted his teeth, but he acquiesced, his body relaxing. And suddenly, whatever it was that had held him in place was gone.

"Cat got your tongue?" Jacob said wryly.

Mane's eyes were already dark, but that comment lost them some color still. He slowly lowered Jacob to the floor and set him down. The threat was not gone though. He still towered over the boy, boxing him in between himself and the wall. For his part, Jacob stared back from behind his thick, green coke-bottle glasses.

"You are not welcome here, Marauder," Mane growled. "Leave."

Jacob quirked an eyebrow. Then he reached up and removed his glasses from his face.

His eyes were two orbs of pure silver, glinting in the light from the lamps.

"I bought a ticket," he said as he pulled out a silk handkerchief and used it to wipe down his glasses. "I broke no rule. I see no reason why I should not-"

In answer, Mane pulled his wallet from his pocket and extracted several bills. "Here," he said, flicking them at the boy. "Your refund. Now get out."

Sighing, Jacob placed his glasses back on. "Sir Mane, why the hostility? You are no Nightmare; you're not even a dream. As far as I know there is no reason for quarrel between us."

Mane wanted to take the smirking snake by the throat and crush it. He imagined how it would feel, the flesh crumpling between his fingers, listening to that insipid voice gasps and pleadings harshen into a croaking death rattle. "Jacob, don't take me for a fool. I know it was you that stole NamTech from me. I know it was you that bought out those Sierra farms out from under me. I know it was you that blocked me from those contracts in Mascaline."

Jacob tilted his head. "All's fair in love and capitalism, is it not? Business is business, and-"

"You are a Marauder," Mane snapped. "Your kind scurries in holes and tunnels and steals from dreams. You have no place in Nod. You have no right."

"Do I not? That's an interesting thing to hear from your lips. After all, you are no dream yourself. You may not be human, exactly, but you are still a dreamer, or you were. You're even more a stranger a stranger to Nod than I."

Mane bared his teeth in a gorilla grin. "Yes, you are correct. I am not a dream. I came here when the ways were still open. And in the hundreds of years since, I have integrated myself nicely with dreamkind. You? You rejected your claim, you and the rest of those dark children, sniveling about in your tunnels. I have earned my place, you forfeited yours. Now, will you leave, or will I have to test your people's loyalty? Because I hear there are many in the Warrens who would be relieved to see you gone."

Jacob's face hardened then. The boy's poker face was better than Mane's, yes, but Mane's comment had struck a nerve. So, it seemed that the reports of dissention between the Marauder clans had some merit.

"Very well," Jacob said shortly. He straightened out his jacket and moved around Sir Mane, not bothering to pick up the money on the ground. As he walked, his glamour rebuilt himself, giving him half a foot in height and a different face. Mane stood in place, watching him like a hawk.

Before Jacob reached the door, he paused. "By the by," he said, his hand on the metal push bar. "I have a complaint."

"I don't care," Mane said.

Jacob ignored him. "Demonize me if you wish. Drag my name through the mud if it makes you feel good about yourself. But your portrayal of Ellen Richardson was unwarranted. She is a victim, and what Dr. Croencore did to her was beyond the pale. Tell me: does it give you pleasure to portray her as a joke?"

Mane thought for a moment. Then he said, "Why, yes. Yes it does."

"Hmmm." Releasing the door, Jacob turned fully to face him. "Someone sent her a Table and the Tunnel DVD, you know. She cried when she saw how you made light of what happened to her."

"Good to hear," Mane said. "Now get out."

Jacob said nothing more. He merely turned and marched from the restroom. As the door swung open, Mane saw that Jacob's date and the other two guards had apparently joined their companions, with all five of them being lined up against the wall while Mane's two monsters casually stood guard.

Jacob paused upon seeing them, clearly recognizing who, and what, they were. In turn, they smiled twin predatory smiles at him, with the tall, dark one tipping his hat while the other bowed mockingly at the waist. Moving in synchronization, they motioned toward Jacob Draco's companions in an "after you" gesture.

Jacob grimaced. Then he walked over to the terrified girl and gently took her by the arm and hastily led her away from the gaggle, his four guards quick to fall in step behind them. The restroom door swung shut.

It was only then that Mane allowed himself to exhale. Though he had broken no rule, he knew that that altercation was going to have consequence. Despite his youthful appearance, Jacob Draco was not one to suffer such an insult. Perhaps his interference into Mane's business had been nothing more than simple conflict of interest. But from here on out, it was going to be personal.

Good.

Mane picked up a moist hand towel from a silver serving tray and used it to wipe his face. Discarding it, he left the restroom.

Some of the men had dispersed at the first sign of violence to find some less jealously guarded restroom while the braver and more curious remained, along with a few new faces attracted by the action. One of them was the elderly Carl Pendanski, who seemed shaken that his wishes had been carried in such a violent fashion. "Good God, man!" he sputtered. "Was that all really necessary? It was just-"

"The situation has been dealt with," Sir Mane announced to the stunned onlookers. "The restroom is once again open to the public, and those who thought to claim otherwise have been…banned." He smiled grimly. "My sincerest apologies for the disturbance."

With that he turned and stormed back the way he came. Behind him, his two monsters silently sauntered off to wait until they were needed again.

…

"That was a bit close to the skin," Prince Claudio remarked as Sir Mane returned to his box. "I do recall instructing you not to harm them."

Exhaling, Mane slumped back into his seat. Below, the play had entered the end of the first act to enthusiastic applause. "I'm in," he said.

Claudio smiled grimly. "I thought you would be. You more than committed yourself just now."

Mane's hands were trembling where they gripped his seats' armrests. He quickly clasped them tightly over his chest. "He's going to respond. Try to destroy me out of spite."

"I am confident in your abilities to resist. You have, after all, survived considerably worse."

"That I have," Mane said hoarsely.

Nodding, Prince Claudio stood to his feet. "Well, I must be off. Unfortunate. I was enjoying the show. If you could send my sister Valerie a signed cast photo, I would take it as a kindness." He patted Sir Mane on the shoulder. "I'll put you in touch with our Lord General once he's ready."

"Lord General?" Sir Mane frowned. "This organization is to be military?"

"Some aspects, yes. I personally see them more as a special police."

"Ah. And who is this Lord General of yours? Anyone I know?"

"No, I'm afraid. He's new to the game, but I promise you'll be impressed." Then, like the Cheshire Cat from storybooks, Prince Claudio started to fade from view, his body becoming more and more transparent. However, before he vanished completely, he left Sir Mane with one last thought. "In fact, you might say he was made for this job."

[jessicakehoe]

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? The Prince of England wants to outlaw a videogame, the Prince of Pop pulled a pregnancy prank and Rihanna, Princess of All Things, is selling a Geisha chic highlighter. Here’s everything you need to know.

Prince Harry Wants to Ban Fortnite in the UK

THE STORY: At an event at the YMCA last week, Prince Harry took a public stance against social media and videogames—specifically calling out Fortnite, the viral free-to-play videogame with over 250 million global players.  “That game shouldn’t be allowed,” he said, “Where is the benefit of having it in your household? It’s created to addict, an addiction to keep you in front of a computer for as long as possible. It’s so irresponsible. It’s like waiting for the damage to be done and kids turning up on your doorsteps and families being broken down.” He later added that social media was “more addictive than alcohol and drugs.”

THE REACTION:

“[fortnite is] created to addict, an addiction to keep you in front of a computer for as long as possible. It’s so irresponsible."

It's irresponsible to talk about something when you have little to no knowledge and cant present a balanced view.https://t.co/VWrsX3MmXM

— Redeye (@PaulChaloner) April 4, 2019

Man fuck prince harry. I don’t even play fortnite but fuck that dude. Sitting in his castle and shit telling others how to spend their free time. Not everyone has a library in their castle you nerd.

— J (@J_ChriStiaN) April 4, 2019

man went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction and he’s out here saying fucking fortnite is more addicting. no ones overdosed from too many victory royales. how out of touch with reality are u

Prince Harry says Fortnite 'shouldn't be allowed' in the UK https://t.co/Zr0f6oDmd2

— matt (@labronmatt) April 4, 2019

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: I’m not a fan of Fortnite, but I’m not supporting Prince Harry on this one. Video games, like movies, music and books, are entertainment: banning them is censorship. Jennifer Senior, author of the book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, responded to the Duke of Sussex’s extreme anti-gaming stance in a New York Times op-ed, writing: “Fortnite is its own social network. It’s Facebook for a new generation of adults — and tweens, like my son. In a cage match between Facebook and Fortnite, I’ll choose Fortnite, thanks, where people actually talk to one another in real time.”

The entire internet—Twitter, Netflix, YouTube, Instagram—fuels addiction. Screen time is unavoidable, and in all forms requires careful self-regulation. Parent’s can’t shield their children from it forever, they can only teach them to control their consumption impulses. It’s all about balance. If Prince Harry felt so strongly, maybe he shouldn’t have launched his own Instagram page days prior to making these comments.

Justin Bieber Pulls a Pregnancy April Fool’s Joke

THE STORY: On April 1, Justin Bieber posted a caption-less image of a sonogram on his Instagram. Responding to skeptics, he followed up the first post with a series of photos of his wife, Hailey Baldwin, seemingly in a doctor’s office, her hands cupping her stomach.

Mere minutes later, having already caused a stir across the web, he added a photoshopped picture of a pup inside the sonogram to his feed, writing, “Wait omg is that a,,, APRIL FOOLS.”

THE REACTION:

Justin Bieber lying about Hailey being pregnant is beyond disrespectful. 1 in 4 women suffer from infertility, miscarriages, still born babies. How fucking disrespectful, April fools or not, fake pregnancy announcements are fucking disgusting. Are we still doing this in 2019?

— kaitlyn (@sowrongitsjack) April 2, 2019

i just feel so sick, justin bieber joked about him and his wife being pregnant then went and said “april fools!” it is not fucking funny. people miscarry, people cannot have children, people struggle to conceive. pregnancy is not something to joke about.

— Claudia🌻 (@life0fc) April 1, 2019

justin bieber faking hailey being pregnant is… gross & insensitive pic.twitter.com/2W3ZUhTywm

— abs (@abby_blasco) April 1, 2019

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: The pregnancy announcement is an unoriginal April Fool’s Day joke that you personally may have pulled in the past. The reason being: it gets a big reaction. The only difference between you texting your mom a sonogram and the Biebers posting one on social media is that his prank receives frantic international news coverage. And later, frantic international backlash.

The backlash, however, isn’t Bieber specific. Just last year, Bachelor Nation’s Arie Luyendyk and Lauren Burnham made the very same joke on social media and received a similarly scathing reaction from the internet. In both celebrity cases, I don’t believe that the intent of this prank is malicious; it’s simply a matter of ignorance. Hopefully, the conversations it’s sparked will inform a larger audience of its insensitivity.

Bieber has since apologized in an additional Instagram post: “There’s always gonna be people offended, there’s also people who don’t take jokes very well, I am a prankster and it was APRIL FOOLS. I didn’t at all mean to be insensitive to people who can’t have children,” wrote the singer.

“A lot of people I know, their first go to prank on April fools is telling their parents they are pregnant to get a big reaction. But I will apologize anyway and take responsibility and say sorry to people who were offended. I truly don’t want anyone to be hurt by a prank.. it’s like when I shoved cake in my little sisters face for her birthday expecting her to laugh but she cried. You sometimes just don’t know what will hurt someone’s feelings not to compare pregnancy with cake in the face but it’s just to paint the picture of not knowing what will offend. Some might have laughed but some were offended .. I think With pranks u sometimes have to roll that dice.”

Rihanna’s Fenty Beauty is Selling a “Geisha Chic” Highlighter

THE STORY: Fenty Beauty, Rihanna’s $260 million makeup empire, recently announced three new Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter shades: Afternoon Snack/Mo’ Hunny, #PENNY4UTHOTS and Geisha Chic Hunny.

THE REACTION:

. @fentybeauty has a new highlighter named “geisha chic…” ummmm? Rihanna… explain why Asian targeted racism gets glossed over, it feels even worse when it’s from another marginalized group 😓

— Jessica (@lyjessicat) March 30, 2019

Rihanna was really about to bring out a blush called geisha chic 😐 thank god people noticed how gross that was and fenty delayed the launch to rename it. Really weird how the entire fenty beauty team didn't catch how inappropriate that name is from the start

— Sunny (@sun1796) April 1, 2019

Okay, but what the hell is "Geisha Chic Hunny" @fentybeauty pic.twitter.com/GML511cjWF

— The Tea (@honey614lemon) March 30, 2019

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Regardless of whether or not backlash is warranted, brands need to listen to the feedback of their consumers and respond accordingly. Fenty Beauty gave a lesson in woke PR when responding to their “Geisha Chic Hunny” critics: Twitter user The Tea shared that the brand privately messaged her soon after her tweet, saying, “We hear you, we have pulled the product until it can be renamed. We wanted to personally apologize. Than you so much for educating us.”

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