#I am not erasing women's breakthroughs!!

[yellowfingcr]

// message that has been making me pace back and forth since receiving it

[austinslounge]

There is a lot of talk about how bad the age difference between Austin and Kaia looks, but for some reason no one talks about how 31-year-old Vanessa publicly dated two 24-year-old athletes during the first two months after breaking up with Austin, one of whom became her husband and is literally the one who what was Austin in his early 20s (a young man with career problems). The only difference is that Austin had prospects, but Cole no longer has a chance. Girl absolutely has her own pattern of ideal relationships, where she is a "star", and he does everything she wants. It stopped working with Zach when the HSM ended and he tried his best to erase the Disney image, and she earned it, it stopped working with Austin when he wanted a professional breakthrough and made it a top priority. Cole doesn't have Zach's great start and Austin's ambitions. He will always be with her, because apart from her, he has nothing special.

No, I totally agree with you girl. Everyone seems to have an issue with Austin dating Kaia who's 10 years younger than him, but nobody seems to mention the fact that Vanessa herself is with a man nearly 10 years her Jr as well, and is also dating a man much younger than even her ex (Austin). At least Austin dated a woman several years older than him for years (Vanessa). But Vanessa went from dating Zac (who was older than her), to Austin (who was a few years younger than her), to now Cole (who's almost 10 years younger than her).

If you're going to have an issue with the age gap of Austin and Kaia, then you should be looking at Vanessa and Cole as well, especially when it's a known fact that women usually tend to mature faster than men. 👀

Anyway, I'm not going to go with this black & white thinking in the rest of your msg. Idk Vanessa personally. Maybe she just likes sweet guys? Don't most women? 🥴 Plus, I'm sorry, but Zac Efron was pretty huge back in his HSM days. That guy was everywhere lol. 😅 When Vanessa and Zac were dating, HE was the bigger star. She didn't just date guys with so-called struggling careers. And let's be honest, Vanessa was over the moon happy and excited for Austin when he snagged the Elvis role. She wanted to help him. She was cheering him on, always in his corner with every project he had, and especially when he got "Elvis". It's not like she lost interest in him as soon as he got a good gig. 🙄 Let's be ffr -- Vanessa would have still been with Austin at this level of fame of his had they not broken up. There's no way she would have dumped him just because he got more famous. 😒

Lastly -- All I'll say is, consenting adults can choose to date or marry whoever they want. While I am not a fan of the Kaustin age gap (mainly because Kaia had just turned 20 when they first started dating each other), she is still technically an adult capable of making her own decisions. I also strongly get the impression that she probably went after Austin anyway (that seems pretty fairly obvious given her behavior), so it is what it is.

I feel the same way about Vanessa. Maybe she just happens to like (or click better?) with younger men? There's nothing wrong with that. Cole isn't a child. He's a grown man.

So, I don't look down upon her or Austin tbh. I just find it interesting that they both dated people younger than them after their breakup, but yet Austin seems to get the most backlash. 🥴

[herstory5]

The ‘Others’

(spoiler alert)

I’m back ya’ll and honestly if not for Professor Due, not sure I would’ve ever found blogging therapeutic or a means to purge. I shared with you all my breakthrough with last quarters course, “The Sunken Place”, well ya’ll - she’s done it again. Yet again, my lens has been shifted and I am seeing and hearing with a different set of eyes and ears. My family has always functioned through dystopia – it was what gave us the resilience and hope. Much of our escape came in the form of music, dance, and TV/film. Professor Due has enlightened us on the impact of many revolutionary Afro-futuristic artists, such as George Clinton, Herbie Hancock, Sun-Ra and the renowned writer, Octavia Butler… many whom I may write about on another date.

Afrofuturism is easily identified by the way it draws emphasis to its own uniqueness via the grandeur spectacle of an intentionally marginalized 'othered' condition of blackness, often using tropes of aliens, androids, and other inhuman creatures.

Today I want to discuss an artist who has revolutionized Afro-futurism in modern society and set her sights on the future from the inception of her career. She is among my top artists and now even moreso. Janelle Monáe is an openly black, queer, woman, and an accomplished artist. To distribute her identity in a manner that destroys conventional expectations of Black womanhood and gives women the power to envision self-defined Black womanhood’s’, Monáe purposefully creates complex histories of subversive Black womanhood. A closer look into Metropolis and the androids' fight for freedom is present throughout each of Monáe's albums. In the "emotion-film" for Dirty Computer, everything comes to the forefront.

In film Monae, plays an android named, Jane 57821 who is facing a complete erasure of her history? Sound familiar? This feature coincides with Black history and the suppression of our past. Those in power have the ability to subjugate past events through mischaracterization, the banning of historical texts on enslavement, and the use of authoritarian measures in an attempt to suppress remembrance and invoke erasure.  At the beginning of Dirty Computer, Monáe delivers an eerie narration in which she explains the grim circumstances into which the audience is about to be thrust. "They started calling us Computers," she says bluntly. "People started vanishing, and then the cleaning began.  You were unclean if you didn't fit the mold. If you didn't conform to their standards of behavior, it made you unclean. It was unclean to put up any kind of resistance."

The queer-positive themes present in the film also deal with the intersectionality of identities. In the film, Jane and her companions find safety in the Black, queer society they have created, away from the politics and the dangers of the external world. To be dirty has been reclaimed as an affirming descriptor, and Jane's life demonstrates that this is a revolutionary act in itself. Something about the act of reclaiming impacted me profoundly.  A really close friend of mine from high school is now an activist on behalf of the LGBTQIA community. She said I provided a safe place for her when she opened up to me, and that acknowledging her sexual orientation was a huge relief. Jane concealed herself within Cindi Mayweather's glamorous yet gender-bending tuxedo vibe.  Overtime, however, Jane manages to liberate the android through Afrofuturism and queer discovery by utilizing her ancestral knowledge.

A key component of resistance and self-empowerment in Monáe's work is rediscovering an affinity to a history that has been erased. By channeling the power of her alter ego, Cindi, utilizes her knowledge of black heritage and culture to bring herself together after years of being fragmented.  With Dirty Computer, Jane and Cindi come together to become an entire person: a black queer woman who is confident in her own strength.

Monáe’s Afro-futuristic work has been ground-breaking in today’s society. As well as fortifying and advancing fresh cultural, theoretical, and political currents. She is a major figure in culture today because of how intersectional her art is. Moreover, she makes a major contribution to the reform of discussions concerning racism, sexism, homophobia, and the capitalist system.  It traces her performances of happiness, desire, anguish, and optimism across a variety of mediums to illustrate how she envisions Afrofuturist, post human-centered, and post capitalist utopias while still being rooted in the reality of being a Black, queer, woman in a white-dominated business.

[dangermousie]

Exactly!

It's pretty significant that she watches him go full on psychotic breakdown unhinged for her in that cave - kissing her like he's going to devour her, being insanely possessive and saying she's his and begging her for a suicide pact - and this is a huge part of her breakthrough in her feelings for him (and earlier part of said breakthrough only started when he started pleading and losing his control in that gazebo when he found out she was leaving.)

She had THAT kind of night with him and she's all soft the morning after and all "you shouldn't take bad medicine, let me smooth your brow blah blah blah."

And then when he keeps pleading with her repeatedly and when he STABS himself merely because she says "oh you killed me at some point" (which is a factually nonsense statement for anyone not reborn) and is happy about it because maybe that will erase her fear, when he comes and gets whipped for her and then stabs his hand qin-playing hand through and says she’s worth it, when he takes that sword wound in the back for her that almost kills him. That is when she falls in love with him because what she wants even more than to be viewed as good or be redeemed is to be loved and needed and basically she wants all the codependency Xie Wei has.

She was never going to be Zhang Zhe's everything; not above his duties, his precepts etc. As much as Yan Lin adored her, she was honestly never going to be his everything either, because both those men are too damn functional and sane in this timeline. The way Xie Wei is about her is unhealthy and not a sign of a well man. But that is what does it for her.

I mean - their sex scene in 36 is full on demonstration of all that. He goes unhinged-jealous and possessive and she revels in it. He says "you are mine" and she loves it, he says "I want you" and she blooms. She looks at his bandaged hand before she initiates the kiss and it's not "oh, he's hurt for me, I owe him." It's the proof of how much he wants and needs her and is obsessed with her and that is the greatest aphrodisiac for her there is.

It's pretty telling he tells her twice "I am yours" and she clearly loves it. There is a lid for every pot, as the saying goes and Xie Wei's issues which make him not suitable for most women, make him perfect for her.

The smart, cold, composed, adored capitol advisor left her largely indifferent.

The feral codependent wreck? She WANTS!

Jiang Xuening flipping the script and being increasingly into Xie Wei the more unhinged & messily desperate about her that he reveals himself to be absolutely makes sense for her character.

The girl from the countryside who always knew her mother was searching for someone else in her face & felt a distance there, where they were harassed and never accepted by the villagers... and then came to the capital to find her "real" family where she had been replaced and could never catch up, finding it impossible to compare with the talents and poise of her replacement, who spent years realizing she can't please her birth mother... The woman who climbed up the ladder to be empress in her orginal life so that she could reach what she thought was the 1 unassailable point that demanded the respect & admiration that she's been craving, who since learning the truth of her identity lived in panicked grasping fear that everything she had would be taken away from her. Though at first she's instinctively running away from intimacy because she can't trust it, everything in her instinctively lights up at connecting with someone she feels a physical attraction to AND can't have their attention and love stolen away or shared. Once she realizes and accepts in her heart that this person can be all hers, with NO BRAKES ... She likes that he's obsessive and too much and damaged. He's hyper competent, she believes he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to, and what he wants the most is HER? Sorry not sorry this is 100% Jiang Xuening's secret sauce, she can vibe out on that forever.

[aspec-writers]

Aro Characters and Dating

Hello! Because I’m talking about something somewhat controversial today, I would like to say please fully read the post before firing off an angry reply! This issue has some nuance to it, and you might get the wrong impression is you don’t read the whole thing. And if this post is too long for you to read, there is a tl;dr at the end. I don’t expect this to happen, and hope it won’t, but if your response to my post attacks a position I don’t actually hold, especially if I disagree with that position in this very post, I’m probably just going to tell you to reread it. 

However, if you have actual criticism, I’d love to hear it! I’m open to changing my mind; I just don’t want to engage with people who aren’t reading the post they’re criticizing.

And if you’re wondering what’s up with the massive hiatus: I’ve been very busy!

Anyways, today I’d like to talk about something that there doesn’t seem to be a very strong consensus on: aro characters and dating!

(Also, a post about ace characters and sex is going to come out eventually...again, busy life.)

So I’d like to give you my opinion on whether it’s okay for aro characters to date. It is: yes, with nuance. Which is something you should get used to if you decide to stick around, because ‘with nuance’ is just about everywhere in life.

Different Forms of Aro Characters and Dating

There are actually a few ways in which aro characters can interact with dating. And, of course, they all have their own nuances.

#1: Aro Characters Dating Because They Don’t Know They’re Aro

This one is actually the lived experience of many aros!

Amatonormativity has taught us several things, but only two of them are of significant importance for this particular issue: romance is the strongest form of attachment between two humans, everyone falls in love/has crushes, and that men and women cannot have a strictly platonic relationship if they aren’t blood relatives.

Aros don’t experience romance like alloros do (I know, an obvious statement), and due to the extreme ignorance of aro identities in modern society, we grow up learning that everyone experiences romantic feelings, no exceptions. 

This combination leads to many young aros assuming any platonic feelings towards a member of the opposite binary gender is a crush.

If they’re not told about aromanticism as they grow into their adolescence and adulthood, this leads to these aros acting on their ‘crushes’ and dating them, even if they aren’t actually attracted to them.

In order for this to be in play, the creator has to be aware of aromanticism and of the results amatonormativity has on us.

It’s safe to say that this creator does not intend to erase aromantics, but rather to show an experience that isn’t uncommon and provide representation to us.

(Note: this doesn’t apply to characters that are HC’d as aro and are in canonical romantic relationships, although this can be the explanation the person with the headcanon believes to be the cause for the relationship.) 

#2: Arospec Characters Dating (And Aro Doesn’t Have to Mean ‘Never Feels Romantic Attraction Ever’)

So, if you’re unaware, aro is often an umbrella term for a whole lot of people! And all of those people aren’t ‘plain’ aro. (I don’t mean to use this term offensively! I, myself, am a ‘plain’ aro.) Demiros exist. Grayros exist. Many of these people can, and do, call themselves aro! 

Not to mention, aro has the generally accepted definition of ‘experiences little to no romantic attraction’, so under this definition, even people who identify as ‘plain’ aro, can experience romantic attraction, although it is very rare.

Both of the above cases (being arospec or ‘breakthrough’ romantic attraction with a ‘plain’ aro) are perfectly valid.

Although, to be honest, alloromantic writers should probably stay away from the second case. Because it can read like erasure. (I might make a post or something about writing aros as an alloro later, but it will probably just be a google doc linked in the intro post. Because this blog was, generally, supposed to be a place for aspec writers, not explaining aros and aces to allos.) The second case is something I’d really only recommend aro/arospec writers explore, and even then, there’s a chance it could be done poorly. But saying ‘never, ever do this’ is not something I like to say, especially because I know there’s at least a few aros out there who have this as their lived experience and I in no way want to invalidate that. 

#3: Aro Characters Dating Because They're Romance-Favorable or Otherwise Enjoy Romance

If you’ve hung around the aro community at all, you’ll know that there are different ways to describe someone’s personal attitude towards romance. The five that are in common use are romance repulsed, romance averse, romance indifferent, romance favorable, and romance ambivalent. 

There are plenty of people who don’t subscribe to this framework, as well.

However, the point is that aromantic is not equivalent to hating all romance and never desiring romance at all.

Aromantic is a lack of attraction, not a complete desire to be in a relationship.

As I, personally, am romance-repulsed, I am not going to write an essay on how to properly represent aros who enjoy romance/date. That’s not my place.

However, this is certainly a possibility for why an aro character may be dating and I want you to keep this in the back of your mind as something that could happen and is also the experience of some aros!

But Wait, Isn’t It Erasure???

Aro characters and dating. Characters who don’t feel romantic attraction and romantic relationships.

Sounds pretty weird or impossible, right? Well, it’s not!

Have you ever dated someone that, in hindsight, you weren’t actually attracted to? Congratulations! You can now understand how aro characters could date.

I outlined above a few ways an aro character may date, so I’m not going to go over them here.

The point is, it’s not erasing a character’s identity if you’re representing the experience of many people of said identity!

That being said, there are some people who will pull the ‘aros can date regardless’ card out in bad faith. When it comes down to it, aros are still different from alloros. Their experiences won’t be the same as that of an alloro character.

If you see a creator responding to someone pointing out one of the characters in a ship is canonically aro with ‘but aros can date!’, it’s a red flag. It’s possible that the creator is hiding behind aros who do date as an excuse to keep their favorite ship. I’m not saying this is always the case. Just as there is bad-faith representation, there can be bad-faith critiques. But, if you see this critique echoed many times, it’s likely that the creator is not representing a romance-favorable aro or an arospec character and is simply erasing aromantics. 

The real question to ask is ‘during discussions of romance, is this character written as aro?’. If the answer is no, chances are, the creator is not representing aros. If the answer is yes, the creator is most likely providing good representation.

You can apply the same thing to your own writing. If the character reads as someone who is entirely alloro, you’re probably doing something wrong.

(Note: there is a huge difference between ‘this character’s romantic orientation is not focused on and there is no discussion of them and romance’ and ‘this character is involved with romantic plotlines and shows literally nothing to suggest that they could be aro’. The first case is simply a story that chooses to not focus on romance. I write plenty of those; it’s okay. The second is erasure. It is not erasure to not mention a character’s orientation; it is erasure to ignore, or, well, erase, a character’s orientation. A character is not ‘allo until proven otherwise’.)

Homophobia? No.

I’ve seen a few posts saying that the idea of aro characters dating is homophobic. This may seem a little...bizarre. I had the same gut reaction. However, I read the post and while I could see where the poster was coming from, they made a few serious missteps.

The main argument here is that if aro characters can date (or, in most cases, aro people, period) it is homophobic, because it suggests that someone can date a person they are not attracted to. In other words, according to the argument, gay people and lesbians should be expected to date the opposite binary gender, because you don’t have to be attracted to someone to date them.

Saying gay people and lesbians should date the opposite binary gender and not the people they’re attracted to is homophobic. This is correct.

However, just because an aro person is dating someone they are not attracted to, that does not mean gay people and lesbians must. The key point here is choice.

An aro person, or character, can choose to date someone, despite not being attracted to them. This aro is not saying that other people should do the same. They are making a choice for themselves. 

Let’s use an analogy.

Alex doesn’t feel the urge to eat cookies. However, eating cookies is not repulsive to him. He may enjoy the feeling of swallowing the cookie. As such, Alex may eat a cookie, despite the fact that he does not particularly feel the urge to eat said cookie. There are many reasons Alex may eat a cookie, but they are not relevant.

Now, Bob comes along. People try to tell him to eat sugar cookies, but he’d much rather eat chocolate chip cookies. He says that Alex eating cookies is harmful to him, because if Alex eats cookies he does not feel an urge to eat, he is essentially saying that Bob should eat sugar cookies, despite the fact that he wants to eat a chocolate chip cookie.

The problem here is that Alex is not forcing Bob to eat sugar cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies. Alex is eating cookies for his reasons, despite not feeling an urge to eat them, but he is not forcing Bob to eat sugar cookies.

Bob is free to never eat a sugar cookie and eat exclusively chocolate chip cookies. Alex eating cookies does not change that.

I’m not sure if this analogy actually helped, but maybe it did.

Bottom line, aro characters dating despite not feeling romantic attraction does not mean gay people and lesbians should date the opposite binary gender.

TL;DR

Saying ‘aro characters can’t date, no exceptions’ is a well-meant but unhelpful statement. Aro characters are allowed to date without the representation becoming erasure and/or arophobic, provided that the character doesn’t actually have romantic feelings for the other person(s) involved in the relationship, assuming the character does not have an arospec identity, in which case romantic attraction is perfectly logical and not erasure. This is because, at its core, aromanticism isn’t being repulsed by romance or being averse to dating, but simply not experiencing romantic attraction. Also, aro characters dating isn’t them trying to say that gay and lesbian characters should date the opposite binary gender.

[bu-ikikaesu]

Something that just makes me feel like shit is that the most vocal lgbt people in my community are bi women who erase have lately been hiding their bi identity, and talk about how hot women are and how much they hate they're forced to be attracted to men and as a closeted bi trans guy it just makes me sad. People hate bisexuals so much that even newly open bi who mostly talk about being lgbt immediately stop calling themselves bi to prove they belong and aren't one of they're straight

Yeah, it’s so fucking sad. I hear many stories about bi people, especially bi wlw, who struggle with embracing their bisexuality. And i won’t lie, even I did when i first had my bi breakthrough. I remember coming out to my sister and not even being able to explicitly tell her that i was bisexual because of so much internalized biphobia and “shame” i had regarding the label, especially as someone who IDed as a girl at the time.

but i’ve since unpacked all that and am now the “annoying” bisexual everyone complains about. And i hope one day that every bi person feels comfortable enough in themselves and their sexuality to be open and “annoying” about it too.

[pays-place]

Brief Transgender History

*this is for a project for school* 

With the term transgender being a fairly newly excepted term, it is hard to clearly denote the history behind it entirely. Many people might have not identified this way because of fear of persecution, the same way many today choose not to identify as transgender, just because of the label or because of the stigma behind it. While this brief history I am about to share with you does not depict everyone's story, this is the generalization that has been given to us.

In the US,we have records of what today would be considered an intersex identifying indivual, dating back to the Jamestown colony. While there were many mixed emotions in this case, a physical punishment was not decided for Thomas/Thomasine Hall. (Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pg 1) Instead it was decided that they must present themselves in both men and womens garments at the same time each day, restricting their freedom to switch between either gender as they had preferred to do.The lack of autobiographical accounts throughout history makes it difficult for us to denote a clearcut history, but historians have done their best to piece together a cohesive timeline for us. We can see how in cultures that are unlike the United States, gender fluidity is a long-standing ideal that does not give negative connotation, but instead is an identity of wisdom and openness. We know that in the US we see so little accounts of these people's lives because of the shame that entails identifying this way. 

To recount another case in history we can turn to New York Politician Murray Hall. Hall lived his life as a man, when he died in 1901 the world was shocked to hear that Hall was an assigned female at birth. Friends,daughters, colleagues, and fellow politicians had known this man for thirty years, and had not discovered his biggest secret. It is said that everyone who was close to him still referred to him as a man after his death, but others were more reluctant. (Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pg 2) These examples show that these identities have always been a part of our history, even if in the past we did try to erase or diminish them.

Historians believe that we were able to see an influx in LGBT and Transgender stories because of the process of urbanization. It is also said that out West “cross dressing was a part of everyday life,” which made it easier for nonfamilial communities to occur.(Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pg 8) These groups were what led to the start of a surplus in drag bars in the late nineteenth century,and is also the cause of these two groups being characterized together. By the time these drag bars where reaching their prime, the owners where having to obtain licensure to ensure that their patrons were not being arrested for things such as crossdressing.(Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pg 8)While it was a crime to appear in public under these circumstances, these bars were a safe place where these people could act and present themselves freely.

It was not until roughly 1910 that a separate term, other than cross dressing, was coined to describe what today is the term for transgender. Up until this point homosexuality and being transgender were encompassed under the same term. Now researchers were taking the time and performing studies on solely “transvestite” people. They realized quite quickly that this feeling was not a sexually led one, and there was another motive, one that lead the individual to total happiness with themselves. (Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pgs 9&10) These developments led to breakthroughs in gender affirming surgeries.The first surgery being performed in 1922, and fully completed almost a decade later in 1931.(Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pg 10) In the 1930’s and 1940’s there were breakthroughs in knowledge of male and female hormones, and medically it was understood that these hormones could be crossed, and it would show the more dominant feature of whichever hormone you are injecting. US and British physicians were hesitant to give them out, but transgender individuals still were able to obtain them. A female assigned British physician,Michael Dillon, was one of the first men to take testosterone for bodily changes, and was the first successfully recorded female to male gentialia switch on a nonintersex person.(Beemyn and Erickson-Schroth, n.d., pg 10)

All of this led to many developments in the transgender field, even the T getting added to LGB. With developments for a minority viewpoint, during very strict points in time, you can imagine discrimaination was a common thing for these people. Whether it was daily discrimination faced on the streets or in establishments, or dsicrimination faced medically or within the hiring process, it was always present. In 1964, The Civil Rights Act was passed which was mainly to disban racial segregation, but it protected many other things under this act. This act protected race,color,relgion, sex, or national origin.(Cusanno, 2016) This made it easier for cases of harm to be reported, but at the same time, people still were not willing to come forward and report these cases.

[drummergirl231-2]

Happy Autism Awareness/Acceptance Day 2020!

To me, true awareness and acceptance go hand-in-hand. I still don’t mind the word “awareness,” since most people, even people who think they’re spreading Autism awareness, aren’t totally aware of what it is or what it’s like. But I also love calling it Autism Acceptance Day, because that’s what we need more than anything. 

To spread some awareness, I’d like to address some misconceptions about Autism and share some other thoughts I wish people knew/understood.

1. Autists/Aspies do not lack empathy. 

I found this thing and it explains it super well so I’ll just leave it here:

Imagine a scenario where you say something totally innocent and it triggers the person you’re talking to. They start flying off the handle at you and you don’t know why. But because they’re angry, you are, too. But since you don’t know why they’re angry, you don’t know why you’re angry, either. It’s crazy overwhelming and confusing. And you want to fix whatever you did because you don’t want this other person to be angry or hurt, but you don’t know how, because their all-consuming rage makes it really hard to think and try to put yourself in their shoes. Also, you’re scared on top of it all.

That’s what having high affective and compassionate empathy and low cognitive empathy is like. It’s not that we don’t care. It’s that we care too much, and all the super specific nuances of socializing are things we have to learn one at a time, through either our mistakes or others’ mistakes. These things don’t come naturally to us, but it’s not like we can’t learn. If I were to compare math to socializing, it’s like you all have calculators or other doohickeys to do all the math for you and we just have paper and a pencil... and no eraser. 

2. Autism is not a mental illness to be “cured.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I am ALL FOR people finding ways to help us be able to deal with the world better, whether that’s a better diet, items to block out sensory stimuli or items that stimulate, or counselling that can help us navigate social situations and talk through anxiety and/or depression. But those things don’t “cure,” us because Autism isn’t a disease or something wrong with us. Autism gives us different challenges, sure, but neutotypicals have their own challenges. 

The symptoms typically associated with “low-functioning,” Autism don’t necessarily have to be a part of Autism. Many non-verbal kids grow up to be verbal. That doesn’t mean they stopped being autistic. There was a celebrity mom years ago who claimed to “cure” her son’s Autism with a gluten-free dairy-free diet. He’d been so trapped in his head, he couldn’t engage with the world around him. She altered his diet and one day he laughed at Spongebob, and that was a turning point. He became able to interact with people and react to things on TV. It was a huge breakthrough. But he was still autistic. If you were to have plopped me down on a rug as a toddler next to a toddler like this celebrity’s son before his altered diet, you wouldn’t think I was autistic at all by comparison. But I was, and I am.

Autism is a different neurological blueprint, and yes, brain-healthy diets and detoxes can do wonders for us because it seems like our brain type does make us more susceptible to negative effects from neurotoxins. But if you think someone has lost their Autism just because “the bad parts,” went away... no. That’s not how it works.

3. Not everyone is “a little autistic.” 

When I was newly diagnosed and trying to process it, someone told me something along the lines of, there there, we’re all a little autistic. But that’s not true. There are a lot of traits associated with this brain type, and yes, a neurotypical person can have a few of them. That doesn’t make them a little autistic. To be considered autistic at all, you’d have to have a large number of quirks plus social delays (not associated with excessive technology use), odd or repetitive behaviors, unusual and intense interests, communication struggles, and unusual sensory processing. Suppose you’re white. If you are white, this should be easy to imagine. Say an African American just told you about some of the challenges they’ve faced, whether it’s race-based bullying in school or racial profiling later on. Would it be appropriate to say, “There there, we’re all a little black?” NO. One, it’s false. Two, while all people struggle with stuff because to be human is to struggle sometimes, the struggles of different groups of people are totally different, and you can’t say you know exactly what it’s like or pretend everyone’s the same. We all have equal dignity and worth, but beyond that, everyone’s different. Don’t pretend differences don’t exist. Just value them.

4. Autism doesn’t have a “look.”

When I tell people I’m autistic, this is usually what I hear: “Wow! I wouldn’t have guessed! You don’t look autistic.”  ...What does that even mean??? Is it supposed to be a compliment? Because if it’s a compliment I “don’t look autistic,” then that’s kind of an insult to other autistic people. Or do they mean it like, “I don’t believe you’re really autistic because I have a preconceived idea of what an autistic person looks like and you don’t fit the bill so I’m not going to give you grace if you act weird?” I don’t know. Y’all say weird things too, sometimes, ya know? But Autism doesn’t have a look. There is a sort of distant intensity in our gaze sometimes... and I can legit see it when Jim Parsons plays Sheldon Cooper, but when I see an interview with him as himself, it’s gone. It’s not a fixed feature of our faces, and a talented NT could totally put it on.

5. Autism presents itself differently in boys and girls.

You know how not a lot of people know the symptoms of heart attacks in women because mainly people only talk about what a heart attack is like for men? It’s kinda like that with Autism, too. Typically when you hear about Autism, you’re hearing about the signs and symptoms in boys. Even most pediatricians only know to look for the way it presents in boys, which is how so many girls don’t get a diagnosis until later in life, if ever.  One difference is that, for whatever reason, girls tend to be better at nonverbal communication and taking hints. We’re mimics. Chameleons. We take on the mannerisms of those around us and who we see on TV as we force ourselves to adapt. Verbal boys might speak at unusual volumes or with an unusual voice, rhythm, or cadence, but verbal girls learn to mimic the speech patterns of others. Our special interests/obsessions aren’t typically seen as strange given our age and sex. For example, a six-year-old autistic boy might be fascinated by WWII. I was interested in fetal development. People thought, “What’s so weird about that? She’s a little girl who loves babies.” We often play with Barbies or other dolls long after our peers have stopped. It helps autistic girls process social situations. When I was shamed out of liking Barbies, I started writing stories in notebooks or in my head. Autistic boys usually struggle with social communication from an early age, but autistic girls usually don’t have any major communication struggles until adolescence, when relationships, platonic or romantic, get way more complicated.  Since little autistic girls can mimic their neurotypical peers, and since some doctors only know how to look for Autism in boys, we tend to fly under the radar, causing that huge gender gap in diagnoses.

6. Mental illness is common with Autism, but NOT part of it.

I read an article by an autist in the UK who struggles to get help for his anxiety or depression because therapists have brushed him off, saying “Well, that’s just part of being Autistic, so it can’t be helped.” NO! Just like neurotypicals can be mentally healthy or unhealthy, Autistic people can be mentally healthy or unhealthy. Just because something is common for us doesn’t mean it’s how it’s supposed to be, or that it’ll always be that way, or that it’s part of who we are and we need to embrace it. People with mental illnesses should be embraced (literally or figuratively, depending on what they’re comfortable with). Mental illnesses should not be embraced. Ever. Because autistic kids and adults often face abuse, bullying, discrimination, and are ostracized, anxiety (especially social anxiety) and depression are common for us. In more serious cases, especially in autistic teens and young adults, dissociative disorders can develop. What’s worse, it doesn’t take much looking to find the dark corners of the internet where people, autistic or not, are encouraged to embrace their developing dissociative thoughts and feelings. I once saw an interview with someone who found healing from a dissociative disorder, and she gets emails every day from others with the same disorder she had who regret some of the things they were talked into doing while living with the condition and  who want to find the healing she did. She said many of them are autistic and under the age of twenty-five. Autistic people with mental illnesses shouldn’t be talked into believing their mental illnesses are a part of them, or not mental illnesses at all, or something to celebrate and cling to. I reject the notion we should have to settle for being ill in any way. We deserve to be as healthy and whole as anyone else, and it makes me sick there are so many internet predators preying on us in this way, and that there are therapists who think Autism and mental illness has to be a packaged deal.

7. If LGBT people were treated the way autistic people are by the media, it’d lead to outrage. But it seems like no one is outraged on our behalf.

We’ve seen the news stories, haven’t we? A couple invites the news over to their house, upsetting their autistic child who then has a meltdown, the meltdown is filmed and aired, and the parents are just like, “This is what our life is like because of Autism. And it sucks. Pity us.”

There was one video I saw... I’m just so enraged by it, even after two years. A mother was praised for her open honesty as she vilified her autistic son and complained about how he ruined her life and how hard it is to go out and have people stare. I’m sorry, hard for WHO??? I don’t even want to go into the details. I know only sharing this much doesn’t make it sound like that bad of a video, it’s just... ugh. Guys. It’d be a whole separate post. I can’t deal with it right now. 

If parents went on the news after their kid came out to them as gay, and wept and begged for pity and said some of the things this woman said of her autistic son (wondering what she did wrong that made her deserve this or that led to this or saying she doesn’t believe in God but finds herself praying anyway that God’ll “fix him”), America would call them the worst parents ever. But parents of autistic kids who do this are praised for their openness and vulnerability as they publicly shame their child.

Another time, after a mass shooting carried out by a teenage boy, the news reported that he was autistic and that might have contributed to the attack (there they go, combining mental illness with Autism as one and the same again).

If a pedophile were arrested, and they said on the news, “And we just got word that he’s gay, so that may be why,” there’d be a riot. But the news can pin autists as mass murderers and no one bats an eye!

All of May last year working at a clothing store, I watched as various departments filled up with pride t-shirts to get ready for June, and I couldn’t help but think,

Where were the Autism acceptance t-shirts in March to get ready for April?

I probably shouldn’t be so surprised with the media painting us as life-ruiners and life-enders. 

I know it’s a vile and disgusting thing for me to be jealous of LGBT people in this way, especially since they have their own struggles, too. I just wish society had our backs and celebrated us instead of wanting us “fixed,” for their own convenience, ya know?

8. Almost all of us hate Autism Speaks, and those who don’t are probably just new. XD

I used to be all “Light it up blue!” as well (even though that seemed weird to me, given blue lights might be overwhelming to some people on the spectrum). But then I read something on their site that made me feel really betrayed, and down the line, I learned most autistic people hate them... some because they saw them say the opposite of what I saw they said. Basically we all have different opinions but Autism Speaks spouts whatever information their donors want them to (sellouts), and that donated money doesn’t go towards helping us, but toward more fundraising or research on how to prevent people with our brain type. I guess they’re not fond of the artistic and scientific advancements we bring to the table. They should change those puzzle pieces from blue or multi-colored to white with black specks because they want a world that’s vanilla. 

9. Some of us still like the puzzle pieces, even if we hate Autism Speaks.

I’ve talked about this in a fanfic, but I’d love it if we could redeem the puzzle pieces, because they’re still a good analogy if you assign a different meaning. Autists and NTs are puzzling to each other, no sense denying that, but the more time we spend together, the more we start to understand each other. Also, Autism does have a lot of pieces, and figuring out I was autistic was like solving the puzzle of my life. The missing pieces came together and things became clearer and made more sense. Also also, some autistic people are really good at puzzles. And then there are autists like me who aren’t necessarily good at puzzles, but get totally absorbed in working on them anyway (my parents have been doing some puzzles during the quarantine lol they’re traps! TRAPS I SAY!!!).

Nevertheless, I understand why other autistis don’t like the puzzle pieces and prefer the rainbow infinity symbol, and I quite like it, too. It’s very pretty, and the way the colors fade together is a nice symbol of how it’s a spectrum.

It’s a sign of the infinite possibilities in our lives when we’re empowered, because we can do and have done good and great things in the world.

[daily-rayless]

20 Years of Art

2000

(OC / Celes from Final Fantasy 6 / OC / OC)

The influence of Final Fantasy 6, off of the Anthology collection, and Yoshitaka Amano caused a significant shift in my art, leading my human figures to be very slender, graceful, and frequently pale. Most of it was of women, some of it was of horses, and by then I was very self-consciously starting to draw men. I mostly worked in pencils and colored pencils. Faces were oval with high hairlines and long, sharp, narrow noses. Also note my evident fear of mouth-seams and lower eyelids. I was pretty terrible at coloring, often feeling that coloring one of my sketches ruined all the nice linework.

2001

(Quistis from Final Fantasy 8 / Rosa from Final Fantasy 4? / Schala from Chrono Trigger / Dark Knight OC from Final Fantasy 4)

This is where more anime influences came in, and I consciously took on a semi-anime, semi-realistic (in my own mind) style. My ideal of beauty was overbig eyes, overlong nose, and oversmall mouth, and I stuck to it pretty relentlessly. Trying to figure out shadows and face structure. Still bad at coloring. I was incredibly proud of that charcoal picture. Was also going through my mandatory Dark 'n Edgy phase, with a big helping of Phantom of the Opera, Sarah Brightman, and my attempts at designing supercool clothes, many of which I wouldn't have actually worn, even given the opportunity.

2002

(Me trying to recreate “Flaming June” / OC, who incidentally looks almost exactly like Sarah Brightman and whose diadem was bodily lifted from a Jodi Lee painting / angsty symbolic wet chain lady / OC)

Deep in the Dark 'n Edgy. Faces are still very heavily made-up, with big lashes, defined upper eyelids, and dark lips. Trying very hard to be a good artist though, have high expectations for the future. I was so proud of that final pose and worked so hard on it. Lined paper? So not a problem. Besides, how else am I supposed to draw during class? A sketchbook would've been even more obvious than the incredibly obvious I already was. I'm able to listen while drawing pretty reliably, and I did manage to take detailed notes while doodling, so at least I had that going for me.

2003

(Celes / OC / OC / Hermes-inspired wing lady)

I was focusing (at least some of the time) on backgrounds and trying to make my work detailed and polished. Coloring is still hopeless. Often when I colored, I would go super light, even when I was using dark or intense colors. It would give my pictures a sort of faint, half-assed hazy look. I remember an art teacher urging me to use more color, but I probably resisted because I knew that way lay total destruction. I'm sorry, well-meaning art teacher. You are unversed in the ways of my pencils. I have killed too many sketches to take those kinds of risks.

2004

(Rosa? / Meliara from Crown Duel / willow-dress lady / Geddoe and Queen from Suikoden 3)

See the Meliara picture? That's supposed to be a night scene in a forest. Front-lit by blazing firelight. I was too afraid to make the colors darker. This is dark enough, okay? Anyway, this year, along with being utterly obsessed with Suikoden 3 and Crown Duel, I was letting my art head in a more realistic direction...

2005

(OC / Queen / Queen / part of Zetta and Salome from Makai Kingdom; I remember deliberately copying those swoopy Ss from one of my friends’ handwriting. Wishes ended up being the first longform fanfic I posted online.)

...that really flourished this year. It's not actually realism, but I made a point to give my characters, especially the women, more realistic bodies. Faces are very round in this period, often with soft features. Noses are prominent. I'm also, finally, using more vibrant colors. I probably got my first Prismacolor pencils around this time. I also got some really cheap markers, but had no idea how to use them so mostly stuck to pencils.

2006

(All OCs)

I look back on this as a good year. I was learning better coloring techniques. (Bold colors! Press that pencil down! Okay, I still had much to learn.) I got an Elfwood gallery while the site was doing its slow mosey into oblivion. But that was an important step, not just looking at other people's art online, but putting my own up as well. There were downsides though. I began to feel more insecure – or maybe more realistic? – about my art, on this site with so many highly talented artists. Still, 2006 is a good year. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot.

2007

(vampire and hunter / Fleur from Harry Potter / OC / Avril from Wild Arms 5)

The year of Fleur Delacour. This is when I was writing Kindred. I think it was because I was trying to depict Fleur as distinctly non-human that my art shifted away from that more realistic style. Fleur, and my other figures, became very tall and slender. The anime DNA is still there though. For a long time, I felt the lying-down picture of Fleur was my best work.

2008

(Revya and Gig from Soul Nomad / my attempts at being “abstract” / OC / OC)

This was the year of Soul Nomad and, towards the end, Tales of the Abyss. Unsurprisingly, the anime influences start moving back to the fore. The eyes are becoming larger again, the features a bit more angular and stylized, mouths are shrinking. I'm still desperately trying to figure out markers and wondering why it's so darn hard (I don't try to educate myself, I just flail), but I was proud of that blue OC picture. It made me feel like I was getting somewhere. 2008 is when I started my deviantART gallery, right when everyone else was moving on to Tumblr.

2009

(teacup lady / Persona 4 noir-style comic / Revya / OC)

Then Persona 4 hit. Shigenori Soejima was a huge influence in this period, especially in eyes and faces. Pupils, chins, and jawlines shrink, eyelashes are sparse and stylized, noses are simplified. 2008 and 2009 are about as pure anime as I've ever gotten. Meanwhile, I'm really exited about my dA gallery and trying lots of different combinations of media. I'm super active on dA and FFN at this point, writing Elysion and then a slew of shorter Persona fics.

2010

(Minako from Persona 3: Portable / concept-art-version Minako / lady with dragon ferret thing / other lady with dragon ferret thing)

I'm still drawing with a lot of Soejima influences. Additionally, bodies are becoming even longer, taller, thinner, and bendier. Some of them look absurd to me now. On the other hand, a lot of pictures from this period have a nice elegance to them. I was still using colored pencils a fair bit, but more clumsy markers are showing up. Persona 3: Portable came out, and this is when I was writing Death and Ker.

2011

(mask lady / hat lady / Archaya, Duphaston, and Iryth from Eternal Poison / symbolic autumn lady and her winter baby)

Midway through this year, I hit a breakthrough when I got my first set of Copics – and skin tones, no less. Even though I was still flailing, I was so thrilled with my results. That Eternal Poison picture left me enormously proud, as did the mother and child one. My style hasn't changed all that much, but it's starting to feel less extreme. The focus on big eyes and tiny little mouths remains.

2012

(Elza from Suikoden 2 / Daryl and Setzer from Final Fantasy 6 / Killey and Lorelai from Suikoden 2 / Lyssa, Greek goddess of madness)

This is the year of Elza. Lots of delicate sketches of this lovely scarred lady, and lots of colored pictures too. I've definitely shifted away from pencils towards markers. The Daryl and Setzer one was an attempt to use both, and I was very happy with it. These pictures show their age, but there's still a lot here I like. Mouths are larger too. However, my online activity was starting to lag.

2013

(Rydia from Final Fantasy 4 / Nia from Infinite Space / the prophet and Schala / Argos and Io from Greek mythology)

The mid-2010s weren't entirely great for me, marked with a lot of frustration and discontent. And that definitely carried over to my art, making me feel very disappointed with myself. There was lots of marker work this year. Probably the standout picture is Argos and Io. This is also when I played through all three routes of Fate/Extra, and my art was suddenly full of Hakuno and Emiya.

2014

(Minako / butterfly lady / Marta and Tenebrae from Tales of Symphonia 2 / Elza)

Looking at it now, this was a good year. Lots of nice marker art. The butterfly one was a big step up for me in terms of coloring. The Marta and Tenebrae has a really cool stylized look to it. But I was becoming less enthusiastic about sharing my art with others. I started to post less and less.

2015

(evil Hakuno and Emiya from the Fate series / Mitsuru from Persona 3 / half moon cookie lady / Hakuno)

I barely posted anything this year, though I was still drawing a ton. As far as making strides, this is one of my better years. Coloring will never be my strong suit, but it's a lot more fun, and it looks a lot better. It's almost entirely marker-work at this point. Despite my, er, angst, a lot of people are smiling this year.

2016

(OC / doodle lady / Luna from Roman mythology / hair bow lady)

At this point, it's feeling too recent for me to really see what's changed. I did a fair bit of eraserless work. One problem I still have – and, yes, it involves coloring my pictures – is losing some of the image's personality after I've inked it and erased the initial pencil work. The picture's still there, but not as nuanced as it originally was. The results often feel stiff to me. Doing the first linework in ink, or not inking at all, allows me to keep that sensitive, spontaneous quality. Luna and the bow and doodle ladies were done without erasers. Another thing I did a lot this year was fill backgrounds with busy shapes and colors, which is a trend I’m still following today.

2017

(flapper and dog / Alcyone and Ceyx from Greek mythology / flower hair lady / Kida from Atlantis)

Not a good year. Not that the art is bad, there just isn't a lot of it, and what there is often isn't very finished. I was still mostly dark online, wondering if I should take down my dA gallery. Drawing and knowing I wasn't going to post something took off some of the pressure of my own expectations, but I was still unhappy.

2018

(Altera from the Fate series / Elizabeth Bathory from the Fate series / OC / Aranea from Final Fantasy 15)

This was a really important year for me. I wrote a novel I'm really proud of, and it's done a lot to give me confidence and a sense of creative direction. I also decided that after New Years, I was going to start a Tumblr gallery...just as everyone who was still on the site was jumping off of it. Much of my 2018 work is still sketchy and unfinished, but I also think it's loosening up some. It feels less stiff than the stuff from the middle of the decade.

2019

(Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn / medievaly lady / Red from Transistor / Red)

The year of Supergiant Games, which led me to focus more on bright saturated colors. It's really hard for me to analyze these objectively. Coloring is better? I worked more on details? I used my metallic gel pens a ton and did shape-cluttered backgrounds? These aren't new things, but I think they paid off okay. I'm more at peace with my level of ability, I've finished more complicated works, and I crawled out of my den and started posting regularly online again. So that's all good. Curious to see what the art looks like in twenty more years.

[amybrad5]

Pride, and why we need it...yes still.

It is 2019, 50 years since the infamous Stonewall Riots, 47 years since the first Pride March in London. The LGBTQ Community has seen many victories, equal marriage rights, adoption rights, the repeal of Section 28, being transgender being declassified as a mental illness (about time!). So it is not uncommon to hear the question “do we even need Pride these days?” This question, or sometimes even remark (we are not always being asked, but told) in my experience usually comes from the heterosexual community and in all honesty it usually comes from a good place (again that’s my own experience). I sometimes feel it is a way of telling us that we are perceived as equals and that sexual orientation/gender identity should not matter. Maybe you cannot blame people for wondering, I mean as mentioned, we can get married, have kids, and do pretty much all the things that cisgender straight people do. So is it not time to chill out and just enjoy these achievements? We can just get on with life now right, not really any reason to march now is there? Well, here we go.....

For many, many years we have seen a Pride march make it’s way through Central London. The first one was held on July 1st 1972 to mark the three year anniversary of the infamous, previously mentioned 1969 Stonewall Riots, where the LGBTQ Community, led by trans women of colour Marsha P Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, rose against police raids on The Stonewall Inn - a gay bar in New York City.

Since then as we have progressed through the years the community has been through many changes. We had already achieved homosexuality being decriminalised in 1967, and we have seen legalisation of equal marriage, allowing for Mr and Mr or Mrs and Mrs to join in the joys of the much envied (by some) honeymoon period. This was a step by step process, with civil partnerships being introduced first in 2005, and the final push for marriage being realised in 2013.

The community has also marched through Section 28, for those who are unfamiliar - an act passed by government in 1988 which banned teachers from “promoting” homosexuality in schools. If “promoting homosexuality” conjures up images of teachers in hot pants and glitter having their students learn the latest Kylie lyrics in order to recite them to the class next week, you would be kind of wrong...they just simply were not allowed to talk about it in a way which may have made it appear normal, that’s what was meant by “promoting”. The act was repealed in 2003, two years after I left education. 

We cannot talk about the history of Pride without mentioning the AIDS epidemic. From the early eighties the men in our community have been disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS, the condition was even at one point (1982 to be precise) named “GRID” - Gay Related Immune Deficiency. We also heard the haunting titles “Gay Plague” and “Gay Disease” being put to this mystery illness. In 1984 it was discovered that AIDS was caused by the progression of a virus to be named HIV and since then we have continued to learn about the virus and make great breakthroughs and strides with treatment which means that people are living regular lifespans. We have also discovered that those living with HIV and taking medication can become undetectable, which means they cannot pass the virus on to anyone. But we must never forget the huge part of our community we lost along the way, in the form of sons, brothers, uncles, fathers, friends and lovers, and many other roles that may have been assumed, had they stayed with us. Pride marched on through it all, getting louder and more visible as time went on, facing head on the stigma that HIV carries.

One thing throughout this whole journey is recurrent, through these landmark victories, successes, achievements. I have already said it - count nine words back. Achievements. The community has had to achieve these rights, by fighting, by making noise, by being visible even when it has not been safe. Yes they have been afforded to us now but does that mean we just forget the story so far? The roots of our Pride movement? Is it the case that we do not owe it to those at the forefront of the fight along the way to celebrate their involvement? My answer to these questions: no. 

I have concentrated so far on the general successes of the LGBTQ Community, but to be quite honest, we still have a way to go. Let’s take this global, Russia has a “gay propaganda law” brought in to “protect” children from content “promoting” homosexuality as it contradicts traditional family values (flashback to our very own Section 28), Poland’s President has indicated he would consider the same. In Japan, transgender people must undergo sterilisation in order to have their gender identity legally recognised, and Brunei was recently very close to passing a law which enables gay people to be stoned to death. Let’s bring it back home, the government in England has been debating whether to include age appropriate discussion on LGBTQ communities in Relationships and Sex Education (RSE), which will be made compulsory from 2020 onwards. Yes that’s right, debating. We exist, but allowing young people the right to learn about it? That’s another story according to some, apparently. Eventually, on April 24th 2019, the House of Lords backed LGBTQ inclusive RSE.

The LGBTQ Community does not come without it’s flaws. We are not always as united as we could be. Racism is an issue among us, with many Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME) members feeling isolated in parts of the scene, i.e. bars, dating apps, even at Prides. Last year LGBTQ charity Stonewall backed this up with research that revealed 51% of BAME individuals had faced discrimination from the wider community. Bisexual members of the community are often erased as “going through a phase” or “attention seeking”, and how about our trans and non-binary siblings...not all of the community would describe them as such, the unfortunate events at last year's Pride in London made this clear when a group of anti trans lesbians hijacked the front of the parade to display placards with trans exclusionary messages plastered all over them; the march of the event I am currently discussing...many of us shocked and saddened at this behaviour.

But don't some people just go to Pride to dance, drink and lap up some attention? Maybe that is the case for some people but it still counts as visibility - we have the space to do this and even if some taking part do not fully know and understand their history yet, many of us do.

So, long story short, I feel we need Pride. We need it to remember and acknowledge the fight and journey so far, to celebrate the victories and be visible. It is a chance for the community to reflect on ourselves and the ways we can do better, and to show we are not yet done. 

[flatbellyinformer]

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[agarip14]

Nov 6, Girls To Know

Aija Mayrock

I have never heard of Aija before, but it was a pleasure getting to know how she has made a difference and the success she’s achieved as an anti-bullying activist. I’m really inspired by her work because anti-bullying is very close to my heart. I have my own personal experiences with bullying and I was always taught to stand up for the underdog. Aija has changed the world by spreading her message of anti-bullying to young people (and others) across the world. Her book, “The Survival Guide to Bullying” was an international bestseller. If I had the chance to ask her a question, I would ask her what she thinks the biggest challenge is to standing up to a bully. She’s a Girl Innovator because she took the chance to tell her own story and struggles with bullying and used her experience to uplift others. It takes courage to tell one’s own story of struggle, and she did it fearlessly. Aija really inspires me to start some sort of non-profit or talk series of my own to discuss strategies on how to stand up to bullies and how to deal with bullying if you are a victim. I would want to travel to elementary schools because it is important to start young. A quote that really stood out to me is one from her poem, “A Letter On Letting Go”. It reads, “It’s the breakthrough of realizing that your past is merely a warm-up for your future”. I was really inspired by this entire poem because it hit home for me. I was the victim of an abusive relationship and this whole poem was about letting go of the past and being strong enough to leave it there. All of her work was truly inspiring to get to know. 

Yusra Mardini

Learning of Yusra’s extremely brave and heroic story was so interesting to learn about. I was really enthralled as I was reading the article because the story was so intense. I could feel how afraid she was even from the start of her journey. I was shocked when I read that people warn you that you will die on the journey even before you get on the boat. I can’t imagine doing something after being warned of death. Yusra has changed the world because she has inspired people to face fear head on and she actually saved lives after the boat tipped. Her heroic act spared people their actual lives.. what is more inspiring than that? She got a spot on the Olympic refugee team which is so extraordinary. Honestly, when I was reading the article, all I was wondering if she was traumatized from the boat event, and how she felt about swimming after. She had to fight exhaustion and fear after she swam for her life, I couldn’t help but to wonder how that affected her mind. Learning that she earned a spot on the team really made me awestruck, and I commend her deeply for sticking with her passion. If I could ask her a question, I would ask her how the accident affected her after the fact. I’m so curious how she has dealt with that trauma and if it manifested later after she lived. The mere fact that she survived shocks me, but the fact that she saved others is so amazing. I want to know how she felt after the whole ordeal. She’s a Girl Innovator because she is a hero. She saved lives and fought fear to get where she is today. She inspires others with her story and has risen to become an Olympic athlete, which is extremely impressive. Yusra inspires me to start a blog or a video docu series on different people’s stories on how they fought fear. I can think of a few instances in my life where I have fought some horrific fear, and honestly, I don’t think there’s anything scarier than fighting a true instance of fear. I would want to hear people’s stories of overcoming the emotion because I believe it would inspire others tremendously. If we ask people to think of a moment where they fought a true instance of fear, and recognize how they overcome it, I’m sure they would feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment. A quote that stood out to me from the article read, “When I was in the water there was fear. You don’t know whether you are going to live or die...” This quote just puts me in her shoes, and makes me not take anything for granted. It was truly a pleasure to learn of Yusra’s story, and I am grateful for what she has done to inspire others. 

Amika George 

I think Amika George is doing some really important work. Shame around periods is something I believe isn’t talked about enough. I know there are people out there who care and who are creating the discussions, but I think we have more work to do. Amika’s mission is on exactly the right path to doing this. She changed the world by starting an initiative for a petition to be signed by a mere 10 signatures. To her pleasant surprise, it gained upwards of 200,000. This is a huge accomplishment because it shows people actually care. Not only that, but also Amika learned that she wasn’t alone in fighting for the cause for people who menstruate to get free access to products. If I had the chance to ask her a question, I would ask her what her strategy is for erasing period shame. I wonder the questions she would ask people or statements she would make to normalize menstruation. It’s so important that the taboo is erased and I would want to know how she would do that besides giving free access to products. Of course access to products is important, but is it enough to erase period shame? Amika is a Girl Innovator because she is fighting for an important cause and is actually gaining traction on it. People are listening to her and are supporting her cause. One of the keys to being an innovator is enforcing actual change, and she’s doing it. She’s making her voice and message heard. She inspires me to make a documentary of a series of interviews asking people who don’t menstruate, and from all walks of life, their feelings on menstruation. I think this is where we must start if we want to erase period shame. First, we need to do our research and learn where the problem lies, and know what the attitudes towards periods are in order to erase them. A phrase that stood out to me from the article was “non-menstruators can.” This is so important because it is not enforcing a gender binary and saying something like, “women menstruate and men don’t”. Because the truth of the matter is, people menstruate. People who identify as male do, people who identify as women do, and gender non-conforming people do. Sometimes women don’t, sometimes men don’t, and sometimes GNC people don’t. I really appreciated the author’s effort to be conscious about this. I think Amika is doing really important work in the U.K and I look forward to this cause gaining more traction. It really inspires me to spread her word. 

Aija Mayrock- A Letter on Letting Go 

Yusra Mardini 

Amika George 

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/yoga-and-religion-a-journey-of-faith-christianity/

Yoga and Religion: A Journey of Faith + Christianity

People often think that yoga and religion are two separate things. And while that may be true for some, yoga and religion are intertwined for others. Here’s one yogi’s story of how her Catholic faith impacted her practice.

I walked into the high-ceilinged, sunny-yellow Philadelphia yoga studio with ebonyashes clouding my skin. The mark, smeared across my forehead earlier that day by an old man’s thumb, was less a cross and more of a faded, L-shaped blotch.

It was 4:30 p.m. on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, and I noticed that no one else in the class had a similar mark. I hadn’t had ashes on my forehead since I was in Catholic high school more than 10 years ago. When I was young, I learned that we wore ashes as a public admission of guilt—an expression of a deep and incomprehensible sorrow. Back then, I knew I was supposed to spend Lent correcting my faults, purifying my heart, and controlling my desires, the way Jesus had when he was allegedly tempted by Satan as he spent 40 days in the desert.

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I, on the other hand, had carried my lavender yoga mat past a red-and-gold Om symbol painted on a wall next to copper statues of Buddha and Ganesh, inhaled smokey sandalwood incense, laid out my mat, and dropped down into Balasana (Child’s Pose). My knees splayed out wide past my bare feet, my arms stretched forward to the top of the mat, my ash-anointed forehead touched, in humility, rubber over hardwood floor.

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See also Do You Really Know the True Meaning of Yoga? Thoughts from a British Indian Yogi

The sounds of flutes and sitars and Indian devotional music played in the background, and a slender, soft-voiced yoga teacher advised us to clear our minds, focus on being present, and to set an intention for our practice.

Earlier, at church, a kind and graying priest had advised worshipers not to “give something up” for Lent, but to instead be fully present to God—the divine—in ourlives. In the modern, minimalistic church, with its familiar central crucifix and ornate portraits of saints and the Virgin Mary lining the sunlit walls, I had felt as much at home as I did now in the yoga studio. The pews had been packed to capacity for Ash Wednesday, with people crowding in the back vestibule, coats still on, like my family always had when we’d arrived late to Christmas mass.

In the humid, heated yoga room, class was filled to its highest capacity as well—not because of a day-of, religious obligation, but because it was a community yoga class costing only $7, rather than the usual $15. A crowded class (or church, for that matter) never bothered me, really. But today I was dimly aware of the mark on my forehead, my struggles with faith readily visible to all. I rose from Child’s Pose to stand with the other spandex-clad men and women on a sea of neon mats, our legs locked in Vrksasana (Tree Pose) and our hands in Namaskarasana.

Searching through my Catholic faith in my late 20s sometimes feels empty and regressive. There are so many reasons to not believe in it: abusive pedophiliac priests, lack of equal respect for women, blatant disregard for LGBTQ people I hold so dearly. Unsurprisingly, for years since college, I’ve been more comfortable with yoga mats and meditations rather than confession and unrelenting guiltI learned to bear from rigid nuns in brown habits when I was young and still clapped blackboard erasers.

See also Q&A: What’s So Sacred About the Number 108?

Tomaine and her mother praying at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter & Paul.

I remember being a child in a wooden pew wearing flowery dresses on Easter and contemplating, in an abstract and sanitized way, what it would have felt like to have iron nails put through my hands. I pictured the blood running out in neat rivulets, always imagining it as a manageable pain, something confined, before drifting off to other daydreams and bemusements. In my world, my concept of pain was not enough to understand the gory and impossible torture of an actual crucifixion. Everything is neatly packaged when you are 11, delivered in a picture book both palatable and disturbing—a story accepted and then dismissed.

But at 28 years old, I haven’t just been searching for faith, but also for a sense of self I seem to have lost somewhere between growing up and post-college malaise—learning that I wasn’t going to marry that guy or the one after that. I also wasn’t going to have the perfect career and easily sketched life I’d imagined for myself all those years. Somewhere along the line, I realized, with a staggering jolt, that I didn’t have all the answers, nor would I. This realization of how little I knew led me on a bumpy path back to a yoga mat, a church pew, and finally, after years of shying away from the one thing that had always made me, me: writing again.

I started writing in tiny notebooks, in notes on my iPhone, on airplanes, waiting in line outside free concerts. If I’ve learned anything of value so far, it’s that spirituality is intrinsic to the writing process, because creativity itself is justa form of spirituality. What is a writer if not someone, as William Faulkner put it, attempting to understand and convey “the human heart in conflict with itself?” And is spirituality not just trying to understand that same heart? A search for peace and meaning and inner strength? A way to slow down in a world where it is all too easy to speed up until one day you wake up old and wrinkled, and you cry, looking back, thinking, “That was my life.” Fiction, poetry, nonfiction—these are all really just attempts at divinity.

See also 9 Top Yoga Teachers Share How They ‘Talk’ to the Universe

For years, I had stopped writing, practicing yoga regularly, and praying, allowing myself to sink into a daily fray—worrying about the unruly edges of my life, how things were not settling how I wanted them to. I lost my true sense of awe and wonder, of spirituality. I was overwhelmed, instead, by personal tragedies and plans gone awry, at heartache and mistakes that built up into disillusionment and depression. But, I also think, like almost any great religious story—whether it be Jesus wandering off into a desert in Israel or Luke Skywalker flying off on a spiritual quest to Dagobah—there comes a universal knowledge that to find yourself, and your true voice, you must first lose everything and build up from the dirt.

Over time, I shifted direction. I began walking out of my personal desert—a place where I had felt lonely and entitled, angry at my life for not unfolding asI imagined. AndI started being more humble: accepting that even if some people involved in the church were terrible, that didn’t make faith terrible. I started going to yoga, not to improve my form, but to calm my mind.

I began to, slowly, feel happy again. I started laughing more, and talking more, and drinking more red wine. I started meditating. I went to yoga classes regularly again. I started praying again, in odd, awkward moments, as I’d done as a girl. I focused seriously on meditation in a way that felt not at all incongruous with blessing myself with the sign of the cross as I lay in the dark, reading Psalms from my iPhone Bible before bed.

See also 5 Ways to Turn a Mental Breakdown into a Spiritual Breakthrough

“Spirituality, both in yoga classes and in prayer, simply became my non-acceptance of my predicament.” – Gina Tomaine

I prayed when I needed a parking spot. I prayed when there was airplane turbulence. I prayed when I felt anxious about a conversation or a relationship. I prayed thanks when I had a piece of writing published. I prayed thanks when I was laying in Half Pigeon Pose. I prayed for my family.

When I prayed, I said that I wasn’t sure if what I was praying for was the right thing, but if God could just do whatever was right, I would be OK with it. It didn’t even matter if anyone was listening—capital G God or anyone at all—it just mattered that I had finally learned, once and for all, that everything was not up to me.

I started to shake myself out of whatever had been holding me. I did legs up the wall every night. Psalms told me, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” I started acting fearfully and wonderfully made.

Spirituality, both in yoga classes and in prayer, simply became my non-acceptance of my predicament. I didn’t consciously decide I wanted to be Christian again, but it was a survivalist instinct. If I wanted to live and not just exist, I hadto let myself believe again. It was as simple, and perhaps as childish, as that. Spirituality became my decision to transcend depression, emotional malaise, and discontent, and instead worship the creative process, the divine in everyday life, and the things I loved about the world. After all, how we are all cosmically connected and divine is real—and I would rather believe it and be called foolish than die faithless, cynical, and smart.

See also 3 Things I Learned After Taking a Break from My Yoga Practice

At the end of yoga class on Ash Wednesday, I sat up straight, cross-legged, breathing heavy with eyes gently shut. My ashes were sweaty on my forehead, my yoga tights sticking to my thighs. I felt emptied and grateful,reminded thatI am dust.

Our teacher offered an option for our final pose: “Rest your hands on your knees facing down if you are searching for answers within yourselves,” she said.

Without a thought, I placed my hands down on my knees.

“Or,” she continued, “rest your hands on your knees facing up if you are searching for answers from the universe.”

I flipped my hands facing up.

“Namaste,” we said, in unison.

The week after that, I read another Bible verse; I wrote another poem, another essay, another short story; I took another yoga class; I rose up into Warrior Pose II before transitioning into a twist, my hands folded softly together in Prayer Pose, my breath moving steadily, my heart open.

About the Author

Gina Tomaine is a Philadelphia-based writer and editor. She is currently Deputy Lifestyle Editor of Philadelphia magazine, and previously served as Associate Deputy Editor of Rodale’s Organic Life. She’s been published in Prevention, Women’s Health, Runner’s World and more. Learn more at ginatomaine.com. 

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[udaas93]

Fandom ignorance and Hyper-Policing of Asian Celebrities Read the entire post

Let me preface this by saying that I am Asian and am in the entertainment industry. I know how challenging it is for Asian people, especially women, to even be cast in parts. We lack the ability to be cast in projects to begin with while the Shadowhunters fandom is escalating these restrictions with their reductive policing selectively by excluding people for the casting of Aline Penhallow. Obviously, these people do not understand the nature of Hollywood and how it is a big breakthrough for any Asian person to be cast. A complete double standard is being applied to Asian celebrities versus other races when it comes to casting expectations. People are ignorantly throwing out the phrase, “Asians are not interchangeable” when White, Black, and Latino actors don’t suffer from these kind of restrictions while getting to play a range of roles from various countries despite their country of origin. Policing on race is one thing but limiting Asian celebs by nationality by putting us in a strict and specific box is dramatically having a negative impact on people being cast in films to begin with. This has the potential to destroy careers.

This fandom loves to aggressively impose sjw extremist policies and PC restrictions in a reductive manner by applying double standards. There is a lack of knowledge and insight from these people as to how challenging it is for Asian people to be cast. Arden Cho and Harry Shum Jr should NOT be receiving hate or be hyper-policed to this double standard over sjws ignorantly applying restrictions based on nationality. Why do other races get to play a range of characters from different countries but us Asians have to be restricted based on our country of origin? It is even worse for people who are biracial or multi-racial or second or third generation, like Harry if he is going to be banned from roles because sjws are hypocritically limiting us based on EXACT representation when no other racial group has to deal with this. Please realistically examine how hard it is for any POC and especially Asian celebs to be cast in anything when we are competing with the white majority. 

I am responding to some really awful posts and excessive policing when it comes to Aline Penhallow and the whole ‘controversy’ with Arden Cho.

It is ignorant for people to restrict Asian actors specifically over nationality when white, black, and latino actors have played characters from outside of their country of origin. Actors like John Boyega, David Oyelowo, Idris Elba,  Daniel Kaluuya couldn’t even have a career in Hollywood due to that kind of restriction. All of these Black British Actors have played African American roles. Idris and David Oyelowo have also played African characters outside of their country of origin. For example, David is of Nigerian descent ( born in the UK) but he played a Ugandan in Queen of Katwe and Botswanan in United Kingdom. He would have been banned from playing Martin Luther King Jr in Selma by this sjw restriction over nationality and would have lost so many roles. I could list a million examples. Lupita Nyong’o was actually born in Mexico and raised in Kenya. She has played African American, Ugandan, and etc. 

This applies to Latino celebs as well. Gael Garcia Bernal is Mexican but he has played non-Mexican Latino roles. He has played characters/people from Argentina, Chile, Spain, France, and America. I could list a million other examples but you get the point. Oscar Isaac wouldn’t be able to have the career he has in Hollywood if he was only restricted to playing people from Guatemala or Cuba. He has played a range of roles, mostly non-Latino, from many different countries. 

Don’t even get me started on white actors. I could list a thousand examples of white celebs from the UK or Australia playing American roles or vice-versa. Alicia Vikander is Swedish but she has played American characters as well as other European roles that were not Swedish. White celebs in Hollywood get to have the widest access of roles, they are NEVER restricted based on nationality. Analyze the millions of examples compared to white versus POC in this industry. The fact is, if POC are restricted based on nationality, we would NEVER get work!

If Asian celebs can only strictly play characters from our nationality, it would be tough for tons of celebs to even get hired. You are placing us in a strict niche and this is racist as well as restrictive. If Arden Cho can only play Korean roles, then it would be hard for her to be cast in anything unless it was a film specifically written with Korean characters which is rare. Having exact representation may seem ‘woke’ in theory but it is actually highly destructive and limiting for the careers of Asian celebrities. Riz Ahmed, for example has played Asian characters that were not Pakistani. Most South Asian roles tend to be Indian and Hollywood would not be banning Pakistani actors for playing Indian roles or Middle Eastern roles. This ideology from the Shadowhunters fandom is restrictive and dehumanizing towards Asian celebs. 

By this standard, Dom Sherwood could not have been cast as Jace because he is British. I don’t hear anybody complaining or playing a PC card due to that. He is playing outside of his nationality. Nobody would ever say that he should be banned from playing Jace because he is a Brit. Nobody would ever say that white actors are “ not interchangeable”.  Nobody would ever say that a Brit actor playing an American is ‘erasing their identity.”

Alberto Rosende is not Jewish and he is playing Simon ( they kept the Jewish identity intact) on the show. The Lightwoods were not Hispanic in the books but they hired half Lebanese-Mexican Canadian-born Emeraude, Italian American Matthew Daddario, white actor to play Max, Guyanese Nicola, and Portugese Paulino to play Robert. Luke was not Black in the books. The casting of Shadowhunters was diverse and groundbreaking, so please do not selectively play PC police when it comes to Asian people only. 

A lot of fans were rooting for Arden to get the quality role of Aline Penhallow because she is well suited for the part and we know she would have great chemistry with the cast. It was similar with Harry Shum Jr. A lot of book fans wanted Harry to play the role of Magnus Bane and he got the part. 

Magnus Bane is half Indonesian/Dutch. Harry Shum Jr was born in Costa Rica, is of Chinese descent, and was raised in the United States. According to the fandom hyper-policing from sjws, he would not have been hired to play Magnus. Harry is multi-racial. If he was restricted due to this standard, he would barely be able to be cast in anything because it would be hard to find roles that are strictly Costa-Rican born with Chinese Descent. Also, most of these Asian celebrities were born in America...and that would be another sjw offense. Harry has played non-Chinese roles before. He played Japanese and is now playing an Indonesian/Dutch character. 

People are playing the card that casting Arden Cho is a big no-no because she is not Chinese but Korean...wouldn’t that apply to our beloved Harry Shum Jr as well? It is not fair that this fandom is using the sjw restrictive spin on Asian celebrities only. NOBODY would ever play the Black, Latino, or White people are not interchangeable cards but they are using this card to police and even harass Asian celebs by reducing the range of roles we can play while other POC and white celebs can play roles from different countries? By that sjw logic, Arden Cho would have been denied her role on Teen Wolf as well because the character of Kira is written as being Japanese. 

Do you know hard hard it is for Korean celebs to be cast? You are arguing about perfect representation but are ignoring the fact that Koreans, Malaysians, Vietnamese, and etc get to barely be cast in Asian roles due to this hypocritical policing when it comes to Asian actors. Harry Shum Jr got to have his big breakthrough by being cast as Magnus Bane, why is Arden Cho being banned from having her big breakthrough by being banned in consideration for Aline Penhallow?

Also, the Shadowhunter fandom needs to learn the difference between race, ethnicity, and nationality. Chinese is NOT a race. Chinese is a nationality and ethnicity. Therefore, it would not be racist to cast a Korean to play half-Chinese Aline Penhallow. It is racist and hypocritical to ban Asian celebs based on nationality while White, Black, and Latino celebs get to play characters from different countries. 

Why can Nicole Kidman play non-Australians but Arden Cho can’t play non-Korean Asian roles? Why can Gael Garcia Bernal play non-Mexican Latino roles but Arden Cho can’t play Asian characters that are not Korean? Why can James McAvoy play roles from a dozen different countries but Arden can’t? Why can David Oyelowo play non-British Nigerian roles but Arden Cho is being restricted to only playing Koreans? You do realize all of this applies to Harry Shum Jr as well. Harry has an advantage because he is an attractive male and there are a wide range of Chinese roles in Hollywood. A Korean actress like Arden Cho has a much harder time being cast because it is hard to find roles in Hollywood films or shows where the character is specifically written as being Korean. Also, by the strict sjw standard, Harry could only play half Costa Rican-Chinese American roles...and he would be barely be able to be cast by this standard!

Be fair and be reasonable. Asian people in the industry like Arden, Harry, or I are not your tokens for policing based on double standards and extreme restrictions. You are not being progressive by placing these kind of restrictions. We have the right to play Asian roles of diverse range just like White, Black, and Latino actors do. Show Arden the same respect that you showed Harry, Alberto, Emeraude, Dom, Isaiah, and etc. Stop harassing the writers and producers about trying to ban Arden Cho from being possibly cast as Aline Penhallow.

If Arden Cho gets cast or a non-half Chinese Asian actress gets cast as Aline Penhallow, do NOT harass her or provoke backlash against her. 

Aline Penhallow is half-Chinese. Are you going to attack the actress if she is full Chinese or born outside of the US? Be fair and be realistic when it comes to casting. Stop hyper-policing Asian celebrities with double standards that you would not apply to other races. All you are doing is imposing a system where white celebs get to play a range of roles from many different countries and then Asian celebrities are restricted to nationality only. As long as Aline is Asian, then the casting would be acceptable. You accepted Harry, please accept the Asian actress that is hired to play Aline.

Don’t get me wrong, if the producers chose a half-Chinese actress to play Aline Penhallow, that would be amazing. It would be exact representation, politically correct,  and it would avoid any backlashes. However, this fandom has set an ugly and bad precedent when it comes to the casting of characters. It is not fair to Harry or any other Asian celeb for this card to be abused when it comes to policing based on nationality. I still believe Arden would have made a great Aline and her chemistry with the cast would have been epic. Arden is being denied an opportunity that Harry, Dom, Nick, Emeraude, Isaiah, Alberto, and etc were given. 

[abberryyang]

Heya of you were to give Arrow a do over what would you do differently and what would you keep the same? Also would you rewrite Sara because lord knows I would.

Well, it’s the cliché, I loved Arrow S1, otherwise, I only liked parts of S2 - everything else was: “…shit, I could’ve done better.”. 

Big thing’s I’d change right off the bat:

Sara’s existence: The only redeeming quality she has about her is Laurel’s love for her and the kindness she brings out from Nyssa - but, of course, even without Sara, Nyssa still would’ve met Laurel and they would’ve bonded over their fathers. Honestly, if Laurel never forgave Sara and Sara never showed she was sorry in Arrow100, I would never care for Sara - ever. There are two things I would do with Sara: 1) Erase her entire existence.2) Have her completely resent Oliver and profusely apologize to Laurel.The character we see of Sara on “Legends of Tomorrow” (S1) is completely different from the Sara we saw on “Arrow”, and one can argue the pit changed many things about her. Of course, that’s for a different post.

Felicity’s role on Arrow: Felicity honestly deserves better than to be Oliver’s sexcretary, eye candy for the male gaze, or a self-insert character for teen-girls/middle-aged-women. I would have her work with Lyla in ARGUS, where she is mentored by Wendy/Barbra, and she is only with Arrow as a “side-hobby”. I loved Felicity’s one-sided affection for Oliver, and I want her to find herself and realize she doesn’t need Oliver - instead, when Ray’s accident happens, she is consumed by grief and looks desperately for him. When Oliver and Laurel return from Ivy Town, Felicity seeks Oliver’s help, as ARGUS refuses to help her with her vendetta. Waller says Felicity’s too “emotional”, but Felicity argues her emotions will help her find Ray. I want more for her than Arrow has offered Felicity.

Oliver’s “darkness”: Honestly, this should’ve stopped the moment Oliver beat Slade, lbrh. Even in most recent episodes, Oliver’s greatest fear is Laurel, the person who has always saw the best in him, would see him as a monster, along with the rest of the women in his life: Moira and Thea. It’s in S2 that Oliver discovers the women in his life still love him: >Laurel still does not see him as a monster, instead she praises him, thanks him, and runs to him to comfort him. >Moira even shakes her head and says she always knew, and that she is so proud of him. >When Oliver tells Thea in S3, Thea accepts him whole-heartedly and gives him a hug. Oliver’s darkness shouldn’t be darkness, just bad habits that any human being would have as a natural response to trauma and about undoing those habits - Green Arrow’s focus should be where it was in S1: Humanity.

The big bad of S3: It should’ve been China White. Honestly, you got Katanna, Maseo, the flashbacks in China - it should’ve been China White, about disbanding the Triads on the docks. Hell, you could still introduce Emiko if you want, who gets close to Speedy and they are BFF’s. Emiko, Sin, and Roy are all vigilantes and Thea runs the night club who employs the three part time (total omg this belongs as a comment of it’s own)

The big bad of S4: Now this should be the Bratva, not Prometheus, and another gang - some say it’s a race war. The focus of this season would be gang violence.The Bratva hire a bunch of small time villains to take out their competitors, but to no avail because Oliver is constantly thwarting their attempts. It’s then that the head of Bratva comes in for a “visit”. Who is this guy? I don’t know, you tell me. I would love to have a present day Anatoly who was like, “Why the fuck did you kill your own brothers, Oliver, my men? You must pay up for your actions.” Shit like that, don’t just throw it under the rug, no matter what ‘mafia’ you are in. It’s a big focus on certain characters 

The big bad of S5: The Dark Archer and HIVE. Of course, since Colin is on another show, Malcolm, being called The Magician, asks Ra’s to find a way to switch out his son’s body (wayy early on) to another’s. Ra’s connects Malcolm to people who practice dark arts (such as Vandal Savage), who helps Malcolm achieve this thought-to-be-impossible feat. In another person’s body, Tommy swoons Laurel again, asks Oliver questions that only Tommy has asked him, and tries to be Thea’s brother (well technically he is, but…). Tommy fucks up Oliver’s entire life as revenge for what he took from him. “It should’ve been you who died in that building.”

League of Assassins:A constant threat to the world, but they mind their own business and stay in the shadows.

Nitpicky things I would change on Arrow:

Shado’s sister Mei: I really wish they would’ve used her more effectively, I feel like it’s strange that they are from the same family, but she isn’t a complete badass like her sister and dad? I mean, come on, would love the total Ghost Fox Killer thing happening for her.

ARGUS: Honestly, they deserve a show of their own, with Amanda Waller, Lyla, Digg, and Felicity. They all deserve better than the romcom the show has become and destroyed their characters in the process.

Never have Carly and Diggle together.

Dyla: Would drag out Digg and Lyla’s reunion, have them take time to getting married, give them a season or two and stay with the whole “reason why they decided to get back together is baby Sara”. Maybe even baby Sara wasn’t enough, it was the return of Andy Diggle.

Baby Sara: Also, I wouldn’t be a stupid fucking idiot and erase baby Sara, I would’ve just had it where Digg and Lyla never divorced because they had a baby boy who isn’t Oliver’s son in comicverse.

Andy Diggle: Give him a good reason to join Darhk’s side and remain there, give them an episode of flashbacks between just the two of them, another episode of flashbacks for their families, and another episode of just Andy and why he decides to be on Darhk’s side. John never knows or understands Andy, but we do - because even we agree with Andy that this world isn’t good. Have Andy be confronted by Carly, who finds herself in danger and Andy coming to her rescue, her saying, “It’s always been you, you’ve always been here.” Him saying, “I never left.” AJ never meeting his dad. I need angsty shit, all right.

Deadshot: I just need more of him since he survived the accident, alright, I need a lot more than just one scene.

Sin: I want more of her, I want her to be there for Thea, I want her to be in on everything and not needing to be the center of attention like another person.

Quentin Lance: I am so sad that they are putting him through his alcoholism again. Of course, I know that Laurel is his rock, but if you aren’t going to give him his rock back, throw him a fucking life raft.

Dinah Drake: I would love for Laurel’s mother to know of Laurel’s ‘potential’. Dinah is a scientist, who knew that Laurel has a special meta-human gene because they’ve been doing research for so long now. The reason Dinah left wasn’t because of guilt, but because she didn’t have the energy or time to deal with a breaking family when she was on the breakthrough of science. Dinah works alongside Caitlin Snow’s mom and on the side with Harrison Wells.

Wildcat:Retired vigilante who comes back after seeing Laurel’s fire, and protects his side of town. Is his own agency and continues to spar and train Laurel - also coaches the team of misfits with Laurel (Roy, Thea, Emiko and Sin).

Evelyn Sharp:Inspired by Black Canary, is friends with Sin from college, and joins the team of misfits in protecting the city in S3. Reckless, she leads the criminals back to her house and they kill her parents and siblings, leading her to a life of crime and anger. Mentions her friend Artemis as another person who “taught her a fair amount” of fighting skills.

Wild Dog:Trained by Wildcat after losing both his sons to gang violence in S3, René is so angry with what the world has taken from him. The mystery is solved when René finds out his son was in the gang and was trying to initiate his little brother into the gang. René is completely in shock, because he spent all his life telling his sons not to make the mistakes he did (joining a gang, selling drugs, and “living a bad life”). When René tells his ex-wife what happened to their sons, she blames him and leaves him. René hangs up his mask, completely ridden with guilt and despair.

Curtis Holt:Recruited by Ray Palmer for his amazing abilities in S3, they team up to be their own ‘super-heroes’. Curtis was a very serious guy until he met Ray who helped him to ‘lighten up’. Curtis says without Ray, he would’ve joined HIVE, and is thankful for him. When Ray disappears, Curtis teams up with Felicity to find Ray, and is the one keeping Palmer Tech alive in both their absences. HIVE wanted to make Curtis suffer for rejecting their invitation and had Curtis’s husband and the child they had just adopted that day tortured and killed, recorded it, and sent it to Curtis. Consumed with vengeance, Curtis dawns the name Mr. Terrific, what his adopted child would call him when they visited.

Rory Regan:Joins Curtis in his endeavors to avenge his family as HIVE is responsible for the death of his city, also hates Felicity to death and refuses to work with her, speak to her, or acknowledge her presence in the room. 

Tina Boland: A secret agent trying to figure out what HIVE is up to, joins their team to track them down. 

etc.

There’s a lot more nitpicky things, but those are just the more bigger ones lol

[notbemoved-blog]

#OscarsSoDiverse: “O.J.,” “13th,” and “Negro,” Focusing on the Color Line

#OscarsSoWhite is suddenly SO last year, as The New Yorker’s cover this week announces. Now it’s #OscarsNotSoWhite, as diversely pigmented actors and actresses populate some of the year’s most memorable feature films. From Fences to Hidden Figures to Moonlight, an array of stories about race and its impact on lives both real and imagined filled the screen and have the opportunity to compete for some of 2016’s most sought-after movie prizes—best actor and actress, best film, and even best director.

  For my money, though, the most interesting category from a race-in-America perspective goes to Best Documentary film. Three of the five nominated films in the DOC category try to get at the question of the role of race in American life, and each one succeeds in various ways of pointing out the perennial problem of America’s original sin. I am Not Your Negro, 13th, and O. J.: Made in America—all three made by black film makers—push the boundaries of our understanding of the issues African-Americans face in our society and demonstrate the enduring legacy of chattel slavery, Jim Crow segregation, and the devaluation and twisted logic fraught in the social system based on judgment of human beings based on the color of their skin. 

Perhaps the most fascinating of these three films is Ezra Edelman’s O. J.: Made in America. This seven-and-a-half-hour-epic traces the life and legacy of fallen American hero everyone came to know simply as O.J. From football legend in the 1970s to TV ad man (running through airports for Hertz) and B-grade actor in the 1980s to alleged wife killer in the “Crime of the Century” in the 1990s, O. J.’s story is a cautionary tale about race, class, and privilege in glitzy L.A. and how the lens of racial bias colors all of our judgments, no matter which race you are classified as belonging to. 

This well-worn story of the murder of Simpson’s wife, Nicole Brown, and the unfortunate Ron Goldman—a waiter who was simply returning a forgotten item from the restaurant he worked at—would seem an odd choice for making a film documentary for a contemporary film maker. But Edelman, the bi-racial the son of Marian Wright and Peter Edelman, perhaps had it in his DNA to deconstruct the most talked about trial of his youth and disentangle the threads of racism, sexism, heroism, and any other -ism tied up in this tragic tale of woe-all-around. 

I was not inclined to spend the time watching a series of five 1.5 hour-long episodes to get to the bottom of whether or not O.J. was guilty. I had lived through the “Year of Living Dangerously” as the crime was reported on and sensationalized, and as the trial was broadcast daily by breathy journalists and pondered over nightly by millions of Americans. But while attending the Washington Ideas Forum put on by The Atlantic this fall, I heard Ta-Nehisi Coates call the film the best documentary of the year and then interview Edelman about the making of the film. I became intrigued and wanted to see what all the fuss was about. 

It is not a pretty story. It takes us through the allegations that Simpson, a black man, had killed his sexy and glamorous white wife in a jealous rage one night and then jetted off to a motivational speaking engagement. The details are horrifying, and Edelman does not back away from any of the gore or titillating facts of the case. We are re-introduced to the entire cast of characters: the sly defense attorney Johnnie Cochran (“If it [the glove] doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”), the hapless prosecutors Marcia Clark (white) and Christopher Darden (black); O. J.’s friends and detractors, who regularly were paraded into our living rooms back then thanks to the rise of daytime talk shows; the uber-bad-cop Mark Fuhrman whose reputation and career took hit after the media portrayed his as the fall guy; and perhaps most notably the grieving father of Ron Goldman, whose dogged determination to nail the SOB finally brings Simpson to his knees and knocks that cocky smile off of his face. 

But the film is so much more than a seedy whodunit. Edelman takes the opportunity to explore how O. J.’s family got to California (the Great Migration), how he rose from lower-class circumstances as a result of his athletic gifts to become the classy “new black” role model, one that whites could readily embrace, and how he attempted to erase race from the equation—expecting people to judge him based on his abilities, not on his skin tone. It is also a story of how celebrity culture kills the soul, of spousal abuse and how women’s claims about their abusive husbands are consistently devalued, and how the lived experience of race in America could so completely color the way one looked at the O. J. trial. If you were white, O. J. was obviously guilty; if you were black, there were no end of explanations as to why he was innocent and being framed. 

Most of the players are still around and offer “color commentary” on their roles throughout the trial phase of the film. We see footage of them then and now. We also hear from some of the jurors who (spoiler alert!) found O.J. innocent mostly because they were not going to give their sainted hero up to Whitey after all of the bad things they had experienced at the hands of “the Man” throughout their lives. It is shocking, mesmerizing, absorbing TV (the series aired on ESPN), and I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like it. Most of all, as Time Magazine called the O. J. story, it is “An American Tragedy,” played out in five parts. 

  Ava DuVernay’s 13th takes as its subject the Thirteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution—the one that outlawed slavery—and demonstrates how what might seem as a throw-away phrase in this two-sentence amendment has become a catalyst for mass incarceration and the ruination of the lives of multiple generations of black American males. The film boasts an impressive array of talented scholars and social commentators, including Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, CNN talking head Van Jones (who predicted the Trump victory), New Jersey junior Senator Cory Booker, and 1970s radical activist Angela Davis, to name but a few.

“Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime . . .  shall exist within the United States. . . .”

 13th could be called a more “standard-style” documentary, providing insight and information on a topical subject in about 90 minutes. Documentaries of this sort are the fondue of modern American intellectual life. You can become conversant on any subject by dipping into a melting pot of ideas—stirred regularly by experts on the matter—and emerge feeling satisfied (knowledgeable) but craving more. 

The inspiration for 13th in part comes from Michelle Alexander’s breakthrough book The New Jim Crow, which provided the first mass-marketed insight into mass incarceration when it was published in 2010. The book became a New York Times bestseller and inspired a fresh look at America’s prison industrial complex through a racial lens, leading to a call for criminal justice reform that continues to this day. 

DuVernay features Alexander prominently throughout the film, citing statistics and historical developments that led to our current situation whereby every third black male in America can expect to spend time in jail as compared to every seventeenth white male and where 40 percent of our entire prison population is black. The film is full of harsh facts like this, often presented in stark black and white graphics, almost like a teacher writing notes on a chalk board. It shows how our prison population grew from 370,000 in 1970 to more than 2.3 million in 2014—a vast increase during a time when crime was actually going down. The causes for this development—Bill Clinton’s 3-strikes policy, mandatory minimum sentencing requirements, the militarization and over-funding of the police force—all conspire to take judgement out of the justice system and lock up more of our (mostly black) citizen and for longer periods of time, often for minor offenses.

13th is a whirlwind tour of our “crimigration” system—as young black men are moved from urban blight to prison in a few easy steps. We hear about the school-to-prison pipeline and the prison industrial complex run often by private corporations for profit. We get history lessons, from Nixon’s call for “law and order” to Reagan’s criminalization of drug abuse to Obama’s plea in 2015 for massive changes in how we deal with the growing crisis (and costs) of nearly five percent of our population being locked up—the highest percentage of any nation on earth. All of this is presented to the soundtrack of hip hop, with Public Enemy coming out looking like prophets for calling out these social outrages at the dawn of the rap era. DuVernay’s film is shouting at all of us. “We are tolerating this,” one of her many guests says. We are all, therefore, complicit. 13th is a damning documentary of the American justice system, and no one is spared its fury. 

I am Not Your Negro, on the other hand, serves its bile cold, which makes it all the more difficult to swallow. It chokes in your mouth and you want to vomit. This spoken word documentary, directed by Haitian-born filmmaker Raoul Peck, apparently recounts word-for-word the 30-paged treatment that author James Baldwin created to sell his publisher on his idea for another blockbuster book in the late 1970s when his star seemed to be waning.(Excerpts from Baldwins other works are also included.) The pitch hangs on the fact that Baldwin was friends with the three most lionized American black martyrs of the 1960s—Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, and Martin Luther King, Jr., and works its way through Baldwin’s grieving over their deaths and what each man meant to him and to the American black civil rights movement.  

Though the book was never completed (and McGraw-Hill sued Baldwin’s estate for the $200,000 advance Baldwin received), the treatment itself is its own mini-masterpiece of analysis of the black man’s plight in modern American life. Baldwin was such a character, such a force on our country’s incessantly race-obsessed scene in the 1950s and 1960s. His articles and books were devoured by the literati and bohemian crowd alike for their sharp, acerbic insights into white American consciousness. And the film shows wonderful clips of Baldwin during his heyday, most tellingly when he debated William Buckley at England’s Cambridge University in 1965 and when he appeared on the Dick Cavett show in 1968. Baldwin’s fire proves too much for his white counterparts—the lost look on the face of the typically unflappable Cavett when the incendiary Baldwin lets off a riff about how blacks are treated is alone worth the price of the ticket.  

Actor Samuel Jackson gives voice to Baldwin’s prose as a jazzy aural backdrop infuses the proceedings with a “Birth of the Cool” vibe. But the author’s prophetic vision is what dominates the film as Baldwin tells how his conscience urges him back to America from his Paris expat hangouts as the country begins its long-overdue civil rights saga. And he recounts in detail where he was and what he felt when each towering figure was gunned down and how he felt compelled to visit their wives and families after each assassination. He doesn’t speak of the toll these visits took on his own consciousness. He doesn’t need to. The pain and outrage inform every sentence of this sharp, acid script. It is a wonder that the man didn’t just self-immolate on screen, so full of passionate observation and Cassandra-like foreboding was he, desperate to make white America understand what it was doing to its own citizens and its own self. 

Of course, I was particularly taken by the photographs of Jimmy Baldwin with Medgar Evers and his children. Having now met the grieving widow and daughter, having stood on the very driveway where Evers was executed, having touched the places where the bullet entered his home and rested on the kitchen counter, I was choked with emotion to see those scenes replayed. “Why is our history so sad?” I wondered. “Why must we relive this nightmare again and again?”  

James Baldwin and Medgar Evers in the carport of the Evers home in Jackson, Mississippi, where Evers would be gunned down several months later.

 These are the questions Baldwin seems to wrestle with, as well, and his answers point not only to government policies, but to the culture itself. Baldwin, it turns out, was a film buff from an early age. And this is where the film offers some relief but also some context. We see film clips of such varied fare as Birth of a Nation (the film also makes a brief appearance in 13th), Imitation of Life, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, as well as Doris Day’s and Gary Cooper’s works (films Baldwin hated for their sickening portrayal of pathetic white innocence). 

Baldwin’s mother and his auntie would frequently take him to the picture shows when he was young to escape their daily drudgery. There, at the age of 5, Baldwin was enthralled by a tap-dancing Joan Crawford and fell in love with Bette Davis, who possessed similar “bug eyes” just like his. He later came under the spell of his white school teacher who mentored him, brought him books to read and took him to various cultural events all over New York City. Because of her, “I could never hate white people,” he reveals, which make his dire predictions of where America is headed all the more heart-rending. “To look around America today,” he tells us from the grave, “is to make the prophets and the angels weep.”  

James Baldwin’s words writ large at the new National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, DC.

It's hard to tell which of these films (if any) will be showered by Oscar’s gold tonight. All three are deserving. Perhaps, as often winners are wont to say, “It’s an honor just to be nominated in such good company.” Baldwin’s takedown of Hollywood kitsch may cost Peck the Oscar; DuVernay’s rage at the institutional racism that pervades our current justice system may come on too strong for most Oscar voters (most of whom, as we well know, are not black); so perhaps it’s the languorous, complex, perfectly-attuned-to-our-times O. J. film that Edelman serves up that will win the honors. There’s also the distinct possibility that these three “race films” will cancel themselves out and one of the other two nominated films (one on autism, the other on refugees) will take home the prize.

 No matter. The Academy of Motion Pictures has finally broken through the color barrier and nominated three exceptional studies of black American life. This in itself is worthy of celebration. Perhaps now that we see the problems more clearly we can begin to make some progress? I can hear Jimmy Baldwin’s wry, hoarse, infectious, catty laugh all the way from heaven. “Don’t bet on it,” he’d say.