#I am losing so much sleep
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OKAY I NEED EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS TO GO READ THE FUTURE LEFT BEHIND BY @shittygaypornmagazine, ITS FUCKING AMAZING BUT ALSO FUCK YOU TAY I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO US
(SPOILERS FOR TFLB, obviously)
CW Blood
Okay, so I know that the chapter said they were against the wall but I can’t help my little bug brain and I drew everyone in little weird cacoon Amber things we saw in the movie-
Also if you keep writting this amazing stories no joke I will lose sleep
Also I added a little Tay in there lmao-
Link to the fic!!
#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#the future left behind#save rottmnt#unpauserottmnt#roraexploradora#rise!leo#rottmnt movie#I know I’ve said this like 3 times#but man I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO THE WORLD KAY#DAMN YOUR SO TALENTED-#not me waiting till tay was awake-#because all my favourite artists and writers seem to be awake when I need to sleep#I am losing so much sleep#i am hyperfixating#on rottmnt
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Angel isn’t allowed to be the daytime boyfriend and Vox is too much of a wiggle worm to sleep over at night
#hazbin hotel#hazbin angel dust#hazbin vox#hazbin valentino#staticmoth#voxval#valangel#sorry I am fascinated by their dynamic so much I am losing sleep
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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happy birthday dallon!
#dallon weekes#idkhow#my art#this made me lose so much sleep#i had to do it all in one night because. im not gonna be here may 1-5#so here i am. apr 30. cramming this when i should be packing for my dumbass trip#i have to get up at 5am tomorrow what the fuck man#its almost 3#but#id say it was worth it :3 <3#i gave up once i started drawing his jacket lol
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not enough people talk about "dont turn the lights off" ngl. this song + the daycare theme song have been ON LOOP for me. on loop while i draw. on loop while i do chores and cook. on loop while i work. on loop if i need to concentrate on something- no ANYTHING. it's such a comfort to me. this song has a DEATH GRIP on me. WHIMSY UNMATCHED. you don't understand how much this song fuels me to keep creating DCA content for myself ohhh my god.
"lights on" doesn't even compare for me (WHICH OFC i like the song + with the recent release of "best friend" im still giddy)
which, i feel the need to add, this song is pivotal for my motivation to write EBY (wip dca fic im working on rn). like idk i feel invincible when this song plays ig lmao.
#pingyappathon#i eat sleep and breathe DCA rn#i just want someone to get me like srsly understand how deep this hyperfixation is and how important DCA is to me#i need to sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs#it's just THAT good u dont understand#or maybe you do#do you?#please tell me you do cause im GONNA LOSE IT. its so lonely out here#shaking yall rn cause am i missing something like did i miss the excitement that came and went??#i just dont understand why it's not talked about as much cuz i genuinely think it's a BANGER? pls guys its soooo good!!#like the happiness i get from listening to it and the stims are unrivaled my goshgaj#literally its been in my spotify rotation for about 3 months straight :sob:#unless if im totally wrong and we're silently appreciating this masterpiece because guys I NEED TO YAP AB IT. LOUDLY. OBNOXIOUSLY.#ive wanted to make an animatic with it for SOOOO long too AGH#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sb#Spotify#that or play it on my uke one of these days even if my singing isn't that great (im havin fun lol)
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Why is Riot rewriting Viktor and Jayce’s bios to be more in line with Arcane lore? The beauty of them is that there’s two very different versions of them that both make sense, like two sides of a coin. If Riot removes the old versions, I will actually lose interest in Jayvik. This is coming from someone who entered the fandom through Arcane and has never played League, and yet I still treasure this version of them.
#maybe I’ll lose interest or maybe I’ll just pretend it never happened#but yes this is a threat#don’t you dare let League Jayvik die out#out of spite I am now going to let my fanfic Jayces lean in more to Giopara’s personality#idc if it doesn’t make sense I love the bastard#you don’t get it I lovw Giopara so much#he’s like my teddy bear I squeeze him at night to sleep better#jayvik#league lore#league of legends#arcane#defender of tomorrow#jayce giopara#jayce talis#machine herald#viktor#viktor arcane#citrus post
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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idk why people think that just because they’re good friends with someone means they should be in a relationship… like. i’m SORRY you like me more than all your other friends now… can’t it just be good that we’re good friends??????? why does that automatically mean that we have to be life partners??????????
#idk… it’s just so frustrating#i try SO hard to be a good friend and this is what i get#i don’t identify with aromantic as a label bc 1) my feelings are too fluid for labeling and 2) i am skeptical of romantic love as a concept#but that is functionally where i am right now#i really can’t understand why anyone would feel this way#i get crushes on people too but it’s funny - it’s like a joke#like when i had a crush on my coworker-in-law and then had a dream about saving him from drowning#that was fucking hilarious#and i in no way want an actual THING with him#i consider my potential compatibility with a lot of my friends but that doesn’t mean i’m serious or actually want to be with them#it’s just an exercise#good practice for the future#i have WAY too much going on to be losing sleep over liking someone#i’m not in middle school anymore#and i didn’t even do that in middle school honestly…#just tiring… very tiring…
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I can think of a lot of reasons why I like and have gotten attached to tsukasa more than any other fictional character and i think if i had to keep it simple (or else id be rambling for hours) id say
1. He’s so interesting. I usually pick up the extremely mischaracterized blonde characters anyways but he gets my brain working real hard. its almost 2am and i cant think straight but theres something about his duality that keeps me glued to him and the amount of Layers he has and how removing even one layer or completely ignoring how both his huge ego and kindness + selflessness coexist can really mess up your perception of him. There was something quite short i wrote about how both sides make him. Well. Him. back when his colofes dropped since i was so annoyed at the people Not getting it (while most never even read the STORIES 😁) anf ive been screaming this for a year now Please. Also the way his dream and being a good big brother go hand in hand have captured me. I really like fictional siblings and they fill something personal i miss and Looove looking at the roots of characters. Discovering where this and that and connecting events to what started their behaviors or helped their personality bloom. So seeing saki and toya play such an important role in his life keeps me HOOOKEDDD. I took the bait like tiny fish. Dont regret it. Never will. I like my fictional characters like layered cake. Thats basically how i see them. I had a yummy chocolate cake with so mant layers the other day 🤤 but anyways. I also really like when characters have to learn and grow as people after making really bad mistakes or being straight up assholes so it really took a while even after mainstory but once i got to see more of him with saki and read dazzling i was like. This is the guyyy. Youre mine now lets go. I dont like perfect characters but.. you see.. when characters who have (sometimes way too much) confidence and are dramatic yet are shown to truly be good people who enjoy making others happy… alright.. now im listening… Sign me up…
But really he has almost everything I’ve ever looked for in a character. Starting with the fact that he’s a theatre kid. And blonde. Of course emu nene and rui + more fictional characters have made their way into my heart and ive gotten attached to them on very Very personal levels but when it comes to this Idiot who wants to be a star and reminds me of a dog its something that i dont even know how to explain sometimes. Why is he here? What are you doing inside of my head. Ill never have one solid answer because he takes up too much space in my mind and i become incoherent too often when talking about him.
2. Ignoring my first answer, He is ugly. My favorite punching bag. Cartoon character. Begins floating when he smells pie. I dont know anymore
3. he just like me fr (Which is terrible i dont like that)
#if any part of this doesnt make sense or isnt rightpleass correct me#This is what i mean by tsukasa makes me lose my mind#I really cannot think straight when it comes to this show freak#3. Is more of a complicated thing. I dont Actually hate relating to him im joking but uhh#idk how to explain this i mean theres still a Lot that makes us very VERY different uhh#i think sometimes its just a little bit of annoyance like Why him. Why is it always the egotistical blonde ones#also i wouldnt say relating to him as much as i do right now is that bad (although i am much more self aware than him so. Yeah sometimes#I get annoyed with myself as well) i think its just the way ive been treated like i AM him before because of how much i do#Like guys. Come on now i get seeing people as their pfps or fav characters but thats a bit much#And theres plenty of other characters i relate to#Anyways ignoring rant in tags#I need to sleep. Right now. I cant believe i stayed up just to talk about little freak Tsukasa Tenma#ramble#rant#might delete later#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wxs tsukasa#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#idk what im yapping about#yapping#tsukasa pjsk#tsukasa#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#shouldve kept this in drafts AAHH!!!!!
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III posting this with the hearts. I'm so normal about it.
#sleep token#i am absolutely not normal about it#losing my mind actually#they love each other so much#i hope they're doing okay#and having a well-deserved rest
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waking up means starting the day's long battle of fighting to stay conscious
#ough im so sleepy.... eepy even....#i already slept so much but the couch is calling to me#'maybe a lil nap wouldnt hurt' < thats the demons talking#but honestly. what WOULD it hurt? its not like i have literally Anything going on in my life!#there is nothing i need to be awake for!#why shouldn't i doze. why shouldn't i....#IM LOSING THE BATTLE#absolutely unprompted#i would like to scribble but im so tired... so sleepy... my eyelids are so heavy#just... just one little nap. an hour! or two. or five. lets go for a coma actually that sounds festive#a month long sleep should fix me (lie)#ill scribble some laughingstock later i prommy....#awww wait tangent#my cat letti has started up a new game#where she shoves a toy under a shelf and then runs to the other side to try and fish it out from underneath#and then she shoves it back under rinse and repeat#she's so enthusiastic about it... practically throwing herself around as she bats the toy back and forth#oh nope she got it out and now she's tossing it around & playing cat soccer with it <3#and i am going to go Nap. ive lost the battle <3 im waving a white flag <3 i surrender to diet death
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Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".
They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)
I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅
Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂
#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D#I am the cheese god remember?😅#I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses#“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY#And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D#I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together#(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the#“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion#How what they have could never be sullied by#something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son.#'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo#no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that#even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.'#...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then#“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her#catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works.#...#I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D#They are so silly and I love them so much#...I wrote a lot :'D#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#odypen#yahoo!!!#sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane
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I have some good news and some less good news: Good news: I think I'm probably going to make the giant cuddly Toothless, I can probably get by Joanns tomorrow during the fleece sale and pick up some black fleece.
Less good news: I am probably not going to be able to finish the quilt today like I'd intended to, my electrolytes apparently got even more out of whack than my normal, because in addition to regular muscle cramps and spasms I got the smooth muscle cramps again! 0/10 do not recommend, they finally stopped but I am so sore (as my doc explained it to me a while ago, smooth muscles are the ones around your organs, and normally you can't feel them at all. If they cramp or spasm very badly, you can feel them and they hurt real bad because you are not used to feeling them. I am not a doctor that's just what he told me) Good news: Sonic is my go-to Maximum Sodium meal so I'm going to have Sonic for lunch and see if that fixes me lol
#the person behind the yarn#the muscle cramps woke me up at 3am this morning from the pain! I am in significantly less pain now#because they've stopped cramping#but ouch. I did get back to sleep after like an hour#but ow my whole torso is sore from how bad the cramps were#and that's not even counting the other muscle tightness and cramps and spasms#most of the time being sodium georg is only moderately inconvenient but sometimes it's majorly inconvenient#my Sonic meal has more than 3000mg of sodium#that's eight salt pills#that's so much sodium surely it will Fix Me#also to add insult to injury when I am having a flare up like that the pain makes me sweat#which loses MORE salt#and it's like dang it me! I need that salt! stop sweating!
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"We're old moms, we can't wait to stop breastfeeding so we can get [very excited, shrill even] botooooox!!!"
We are never making it out of the patriarchy.
#every time i open instagram i see videos promoting botox for the moment you turn 20 and face lifts and plastic surgery#and skincare regimens that are not care at all but just fifty products to torture your skin (and spend money!!)#the ties between the patriarchy and capitalism that support one another are terrifying.#but not even that . i feel like i'm going insane#how did we in this day and age normalise so much of this shit#what happened to feminism... why am i seeing a man who works as a plastic surgeon#talking about ''when a client walks in and i know EXACTLY what she needs to change so i am able to get her to#sign up for four more procedures asides from the one she came here for ^_^'' i'm going to kill you.#beat you with rocks. do you guys know botox is a bacteria? do you guys know about botulism?#you throw away a can of food because it's slightly dented so you don't die from botulism#but you inject it straight into your forehead because someone told you signs you#lived a long life full of expressing your emotions guilt-free was what made you ugly#the way i see influencers who will call themselves feminists talk about those wrinkle-free straws... don't sleep on your side#don't breathe wrong don't crease your eyebrows don't smile don't cry don't drink from straws#you're all fucking insane. and wrinkles are caused by your skin losing elasticity. you will STILL have wrinkles#if you live long enough that is (<- can you see why it's a blessing?)
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"Ahaha Daemon is so dumb for believing the old man is the one actively poisoning him when the weird goth witch giving him weird concoctions is right there."
May I introduce you to a beautiful concept known as sleep deprivation ? Man's only gotten poor quality sleep (if any at all) for weeks for all we know. Mood swings and paranoia are bound to go hand in hand with that one. Logical thinking ? Nope. Not happening. You add the fucking hallucinations further messing up his mind to the mix and you get exactly what we see.
#like I know the writing is bad#I am not a fan of the harrenhall arc#but you cannot complain about a character not using his braincells while actively also not using your braincells#kinda contradicting if you ask me#n e ways#talking from experience here btw#throwback to that one week of suffering from tension headaches so bad I thought my skull was going to explode#painkillers did nothing#sleeping was impossible for four (4!!!!!!) entire days#after that I managed to pass out for an hour or two every once in a while as the headaches ever so slowly started getting better#my brain was fucking mush on day 3#there was no being reasonable and thinking logically anymore#I had the worst mood swings#like constant mood swings#I was about ready to kill the next person who as much as made a sound#I snapped at everyone who checked up on me#worst fucking week of my life#do not recommend#anyways#you can hate the character#you can criticize the direction the writers have taken for him this season#but maybe stop being hypocritical little shits about it :)#whatever. I'll lose followers for this one and I do not give a fuck.#got mad scrolling the tag.#will go back to regular posting now.#can we talk about the fact that the acting was fucking phenomenal in that scene#daemon targaryen#hotd spoilers#putting this in the tag actually pls feel free to get openly mad at me I would love to have a free blocklist <3#much love <3
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Tag drop: Aventurine.
#aventurine. [ mr. cavalier gambler: uptight. overcautious. inferiority complex. you've won so much but you're still so afraid of losing. ]#aventurine: ic. [ they see only the straight flush. they don't know the other hand below the table clutching your chips for dear life. ]#aventurine: inquiries. [ time to make a move my friend. say goodbye before you shuffle off. it's… best to die without regrets. ]#aventurine: countenance. [ now go. and pick the clothes that you like. then choose your desired identity and use them well. ]#aventurine: introspection. [ “sleep is the rehearsal of death”? why does life slumber? because we are not ready for the final rest. ]#aventurine: meta. [ the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. but you've never gone in any other direction. ]#aventurine: little notes. [ you will keep winning; having never lost before. but why you? why... must it be you? ]#aventurine: wishes. [ even if the chance of winning is close to zero. well... you can't win if you don't play; right? ]#aventurine: etc. [ the chance… no matter how small: the potential is what you hang onto. that is what justifies the gamble. ]#aventurine: ipc. [ … i'll give you that and much more than that. the ipc will give you whatever you want. even what you don't want. ]#aventurine: trio. [ three cornerstones who for a measly penacony... offered their everything. you're more united than the family. ]#aventurine: astral express. [ friends: the game has commenced and you cannot choose to decline… nor do you have grounds to. ]#aventurine: fate. [ if the dice of fate are always weighted then that is our destiny. why then... do we struggle against it? ]#aventurine: past. [ our paths will cross again beneath kakava's shimmering auroras. farewell: kakavasha. ]#aventurine: luck. [ he's only drunk on the moment that makes his very life quiver. hell is only one decision away from heaven. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ i never expected the beautiful and kind-hearted director topaz to resort to distorting concepts like that. ]#aventurine: topaz. [ but since i survived i realized: wherever you go that's where i'll follow; nobody's promised tomorrow. ] immobiliter.#aventurine: jade. [ it's often used as a counterfeit for jade. but it looks like jade… can be substituted for aventurine too. ]#aventurine: veritas ratio. [ unfortunately for him; i make for a more competent conversationalist than the other dimwits around here. ]#aventurine: black swan. [ nothing remains hidden from you… does it? i will find my place in the web of your schemes; memokeeper. ]#aventurine: sunday. [ is this what the harmony represents? is it built upon constraint and coercion? ]#aventurine: acheron. [ only by casting aside reason does one truly gamble. “emanator” — I know you'll match my wager. ]#aventurine: v. youth. [ but the sun could not kill me and the quicksand sent me back to the embrace of the guild and the ipc. ]#aventurine: v. penacony. [ i seem that way because i am nervous. maybe you can help. what do you say; put our palms together a last time? ]#aventurine: v. future. [ the once falling die has at last landed on its earthly rest. quietly… peacefully: it at last landed. ]#tag drop#[ ... i wanted to add in a tag for robin. but i think that may have to come personalized. ]#[ /rubs hands together. lets see if any of these are broken. ]#aventurine: robin. [ so she sings; but does she dance? ] avaere.#[ okay i changed my mind-- there's a robin tag. ]
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