#I am just. So fucking ill right now

[amywritesthings]

early this morning i told my partner i was going to announce an indefinite hiatus and abandon my writing altogether while i deal with the grief of what's happening.

i decided to check tiktok (instinct when i'm waiting for my bagel to heat up) -- the first video was someone saying 'running to spend the week reading fanfic and nothing else'. comments upon comments were asking for fluffy, immersive fics of any kind just to keep people going. to feel something. to have some kind of hope.

my mom and i had a lengthy conversation at 6am about everything, and something she said curbed my crying instantly: "do not let those motherfuckers take your light."

so i won't.

i have really incredible people who interact with my stories, this is my joy and safe space, and as hard as things are right now, as hopeless as i may feel, i can create art and help put some good out there in a time where that light feels dimmed. i will still be kind to myself -- i'm still processing, and i'm sure i won't feel right for a very long time -- but quitting writing and disappearing would only bring joy to the people who want to police art, fiction, humanity.

so i will be working on the drabble challenge through november. i will still post a poll about amymas sometime later this week. i will still open my docs for silver underground, dating mode, seven days, etc. i may need more time. i may be slow. i may start an entirely new wip to cope. but i'll still create.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[triglycercule]

can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,

they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this

ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))

ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money

and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???

[arkiwii]

cute date :] i wanted to try some clothes and also experiment on colors since ive been unsatisfied lately... it ended up looking good!! im happy with it

[hellboundhimbo]

kuwama. that’s it that’s the post just look at them.

[mx-yip-yip-hooary]

[Edit; THIS IS NOT MY ART. THIS IS @/B0NKCREAT'S ART. I JUST ADDED THE TEXT. GO FOLLOW THEM THEY HAVE COOL ART]

[funkervogt]

(Realizes that the most common transman experiences perfectly align with my life and feelings about myself and fascinations and who I want to be with) Ohhhh Okay i am fucked

[umblrspectrum]

ive been procrastinating a lot, and you'll NEVER guess why

[moth-flowers]

moth-flowers #17

[snezus-christ-risen]

Fucking kill me now

This disgusting man just sneezed openly in the airport like threw his head forward, uncovered, messy nasty ass sneeze into the space where tons of people walk by and I'm having a fucking panic attack

[arom-antix]

@fishshit I consider your post canon so I made it

Edit: I FOUND IT

Edit 2: Yakov trauma

Edit 3: I lied, here's the design rant

Edit 4: Updated design!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before lunch why not' and gets mvp more at 1

[youngpettyqueen]

wrote something unbearably fluffy and I will be posting it on ao3 tomorrow but I wanted to do something a lil different and post it here. this is because I dont have the energy to do the format editing for ao3 rn but I want people to see it right now immediately

garashir, post-canon Cardassia, short and sweet, fluff that will rot your teeth out. enjoy <3

“Elim?” 

Gentle hands resting on his shoulders rouse Garak from a sleep he didn’t even realize he’d fallen into. He jerks awake with a rather undignified snort, more startled than he’d care to admit as he straightens himself up in his chair. Falling asleep at his desk… he really is getting sloppy.

Those hands squeeze his shoulders gently. He would know that touch anywhere.

“Only me, love,” Julian’s voice murmurs, soft and reassuring, “Didn’t mean to startle you.” 

Garak glances back over his shoulder, wincing slightly at the kink that’s developed in his neck from his awkward sleeping position. “You’ll have to forgive me, my dear,” He replies, offering Julian a tired smile, “I seem to have lost track of the time.”

He takes a moment to give Julian a quick once-over, his eyes heavy with sleep but no less sharp. He looks dishevelled, his hair a mess of loose curls and his jaw lined with a shadow of stubble. He doesn’t have any visible injuries, and his uniform is rumpled, but intact. So today was long, but likely not life-threatening. Good. He’d been worried, before he went and passed out.

Julian smiles back at him, a warm expression, though very tired. The lines under his eyes are deep. “I’ll forgive you, if you forgive me for being so late,” He offers, gently rubbing Garak’s shoulders, “Sorry to have kept you waiting. I was drafting requests for more medical equipment, and lost track of time myself.” He explains.

“How could I ever fault you for such a noble endeavour?” Garak asks, leaning back into Julian’s hands, which are doing wonders for what’s become a permanent stiffness in his shoulders, “I’m sure the staff appreciate your efforts.” His doctor has done marvellously, adapting to working in a Cardassian hospital. It took a couple of crisis situations before the rest of the staff finally took him seriously, but he’s managed to find a place for himself with minimal friction, as far as the hospital staff are concerned. Usually a Human would never have been accepted so quickly, but these are desperate times, and they can seldom afford to turn away such a capable pair of hands. 

“They’ll appreciate it when I actually get the equipment,” Julian replies. He works his thumbs into a knot at the base of Garak’s neck, and Garak all but melts against him, a pleased sound rumbling low in his chest, “Dare I ask what you’re doing with Kukalaka?” 

The question snaps Garak out of his pleased little trance. He glances back at his desk and finds that the bear is, in fact, sitting there, a needle still attached to thread hanging loose from his leg, which is half-sewn to his body. “Ah,” He says, now recalling what he was doing before sleep so unceremoniously claimed him, “Yes, that… well, I was rather hoping to surprise you with that tomorrow…” He hums, feeling a flash of annoyance at his plans being thwarted. 

Julian leans over his shoulder, examining his handiwork. “Oh, Elim…” He murmurs, like Garak has just handed him the world, “You wonderful, wonderful man. You really are too good to me.” He wraps his arms loosely around Garak’s neck, rests his weight against him as he presses his warm cheek to the side of his head.

It never ceases to amaze Garak, just how easy it is to make Julian’s day. The smallest acts have him behaving as if Garak has put the suns in the sky just for him. “Hardly,” He refutes, because he could never be too good for the man who reminds him days after day that good exists in this universe simply by existing, “You may have convinced the little ruffian’s mother that you weren’t upset over Kukalaka being torn asunder, but I know you far better than that. I may not understand the significance of the little fellow, but I would be remiss if I allowed him to remain in tatters when I could easily repair him.” He reasons, and it’s an awfully long way to say I hate to see you sad.

“That little ruffian was all of 3 years old,” Julian points out, a smile in his voice, “And teething, might I add, so understandably cranky. But… thank you,” A warm kiss is pressed to Garak’s cheek, an action that turns him into a puddle of bliss and affection, “I would tell you just how much it means to me, but I’m afraid I’m much too tired to adequately express myself.” He kisses Garak’s cheek again, and nuzzles against him.

Garak hums happily, reaching up to rest a hand on Julian’s arm. “Oh, I don’t know,” He muses, rubbing circles into Julian’s arm with his thumb, “I believe I could infer the depths of your gratitude from, say… more kisses.” He suggests, tilting his head so that he can flash Julian a cheeky grin. 

Julian snorts, buries his face in Garak’s neck as laughter shakes his slender shoulders. When he lifts his head again, he has the loveliest smile lines on his rosy-cheeked face, and the lines under his eyes don’t seem quite so deep anymore. 

“You’re incorrigible.” Julian tells him, earnestly and completely affectionate. 

“Yes,” Garak agrees, “And I do believe you love me for it.” 

“Oh, very much,” Julian agrees, leaning in till his nose taps against Garak’s, “It’s one of your most endearing traits.” 

Garak rubs their noses together, a gesture that is indescribably affectionate and also quite silly. “Tell me again about all those endearing traits of mine?” He requests.

“I’m far too tired for that,” Julian replies, his eyes flicking to Garak’s lips, “I think I’d much rather kiss you silly. Is that an acceptable substitute?” He asks. 

Garak doesn’t respond verbally, just angles his head and pushes up to capture Julian’s lips with his. Julian makes a happy little hum as he kisses him back, and his smile as he presses his lips to Garak’s again and again says more about his gratitude and his love than any string of words ever could. 

[revenantghost]

Yeah, the rumor about Nightow being Christian is so fascinating to me because it's so firmly and deeply rooted and referenced all around, but I haven't found the source for it myself (if it still even exists). My kingdom for the old con panels and interviews to be accessible.

Ah yes, that one! I read that one when my head let me, despite it being hella hard for me to read those kinds of posts; between migraines and other issues with it just being images, those interviews are just hella inaccessible for me ): I wanted to reread it a bit ago, but that can't happen. My kingdom for accessible interviews, too lol.

I do have my reasons for how I feel about the ending, and having gone up to vol 12 with bookclub and reading others' posts have only cemented it, but I'll wait until when/if I ever have the time. So your takeaway is valid, but I also stand by mine being valid.

I think that there is some decent reason to believe that if Nightow wanted some things changed in the narrative, that Orange would be all about it. The sci-fi setting was mentioned as being as Nightow's idea at Sakuracon and other interviews, and of course Nightow changed the colt to the peashooter that Vash now has because it makes sense for his character according to a recent tweet on Watanabe's Twitter. He was also involved a little differently and a little more in-depth in the planning process than most other authors over the course of... months of drinking and partying with Orange lmao??? As you can hear in Trash Taste's podcast. Some of the most controversial changes with Tristamp come from Nightow himself.

I think that changes that Nightow wanted to make will likely be reflected in Tristamp given the degree of respect and almost awe that Orange members seem to have for the guy when they talk about him at cons (the sci-fi setting thig should be in the first masterpost here). But also, that's if it fits the new narrative and he even wants that stuff changed. I think that it was in the Trash Taste interview as well along with a few other places that Nightow's said that he only wanted another Trigun if it was its own thing. He gave the thumbs up at an early stage (even if he still had to approve the overarching bits) because it captured the heart and soul of Trigun, but it's not the same, of course. Props to Nightow for getting some high-budget, first-class fanfic of his own franchise made, mad respect

Tl;dr: I think it's valid to think we'll see more changes to the narrative based on things that Nightow would like to see, but you're right that it's 100% it's own thing and that's what's so exciting about Tristamp. I've talked to a few og manga fans who love Tristamp because you can know the source material, but you have no idea what's coming or what they'll do with it. I haven't seen any takes that think that Tristamp will become Trimax in a 1:1 way, but I am curious if we'll see more major changes inspired by Nightow and things he's said in interviews following the ending of Trimax--especially after that major vacation he had post-Trimax.

Idk if this makes sense because I woke up due to a fever and aches and I'm a bit of a shaking mess lmao. I just wanted to validate everyone's takeaways with my post since my last one inspired some essays I know I don't have the brainpower to process right now (though I am so, so, so curious to see what they do with reimagining it all in Tristamp--WHAT are they doing with Wolfwood). Now back to passing out.

You know, I think one of the coolest things about Trimax and how it ends is how unique the experience is to everyone, and how valid that is. I'm sick as a dog and hella groggy, so forgive me if I'm misremembering or my phrasing is weird, but I remember reading an interview where Nightow was asked whether Knives was alive or dead at the end of the manga. And he did give an answer, but he specified that was just his intention, and that everyone should walk away with their own opinion (something along those lines, I'm paraphrasing and cannot remember the source).

Nightow has also said that his intention with the ending was for it to be hopeful, but he would also later say that he was so incredibly burnt out and exhausted and that he would change some things if he could. I think you can read all of that in his work. So for me, my first (and thus-far only) readthrough left me with a distinct feeling of tragedy, exhaustion, and of cycles repeating. But everyone who walked away feeling hopeful and like the future is bright and infinite is also correct. And it really speaks to the deeply human nature of Trigun, and the way that its story speaks to us and our unique experiences and what life has taught us, I think. The song of humanity sings in all of us in all different ways.

Idk man, I need to sleep but I just think Trigun is neat.

[seventh-district]

OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.

and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!

and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability

[todayisafridaynight]

sometimes i get nishiki i really do