#I am just tired and mentally drained

[exposingthemonster]

And what evidence of harassment do you have? Everything you’ve ever reblogged is from the people who harassed the big blogs themselves, insulted them needlessly, or has been proven otherwise to be someone spreading lies and twisting the truth because they refuse to post anything against their own personal opinion. All your harassment evidence relating to the doc is just harassment made towards THEM with the occasional unrelated actual harassment evidence.

Most of the supposed victims of the big blogs even claim they’ve gotten NO harassment since the doc dropped. At most, one person said they thought of self harming. THOUGHT of it, but didn’t.

I exclude Lux from this as he brought what’s happening to him on himself by mentioning being on a callout doc before and causing people unrelated to what originally happened with his victims and the big blogs look for it. Literally, when I first saw him say that all it took was a single google search of “ShatteredSparks” and “callout” to bring up the original doc of the grooming allegations posted to tumblr immediately. It isn’t hard to find.

But somehow everyone wants to blame the big blogs for that getting around again (when the members of Alex’s crew weren’t even the first people to reblog it, it was fandom minors) as well as the new doc with more evidence and the persistence of Lux’s victims.

I want to start off by saying there is a difference between venting, callouts and harassment.

I say it’s a false harassment document not because the big blogs weren’t being harassed, but because the people who they are claiming were harassing them, were venting and calling them out.

Second off, it’s rather lucky that most of the victims that were initially named, dropped by them in the false harassment document haven’t gotten harassment. I do suspect it’s because 4 individuals have spoken out against the effects (the minor who nearly self harmed the day it dropped, Another person mentioned in the document immediately called out how they falsely accused people who had barely any to no interaction with them as harassers, not to mention two people admitted to contemplating taking their own lives.)

Of the posts I have re-blogged, most of them are either venting about how the big blogs were acting, and how they got away with attempting to send a harassment to people much smaller than them, but also the false inclusion of people.

Not to mention there have been people who associated with the people mention in the document that have gotten harassed. It was quickly shut down, but it does not change the fact that the document did lead to people targeting others.

And again, I know about that document. But for both the sake of consistency with the purpose of this blog and my mental health, it is not being included. I have mentioned this earlier.

And I never said Alex’s crew were the ones to cause that document to spread. If you could tell me where I implied that I am willing to correct it, but to my memory, I never said that they are at fault for it spreading.

[depthsoftheabyss]

When these tears finally dry I will no longer open up , I will no longer share my feelings or make it known that I even have them . If it means I have to rip out some part of me I will do so .

[letsventstuff]

What is it like for things to be different and good and complete and so so resolute and being content with yourself?

[escapeingtime]

[bunnihearted]

🪦🩹

[hunsa-jars]

Dread be dreading

[zylphiacrowley]

I am so exhuasted.

[xysidhequeen]

I was in a car for 14 hours because, if anyone is unaware, I recently became aware of the fact that the man who was my father in everything but blood passed away in 2020. I am NC with that side of the family, and for my own physical and emotional safety, I had to cut everyone off. I couldn't chance reaching out and leaving a trail for my abusersers to follow. Not when I already had to change my number three times and move four times just to ensure they couldn't find me.

That didn't mean I couldn't visit his grave, though, and I did. It was. Hard. Seeing his grave made it real. Up until that point, I could tell myself it was a trick or it was the wrong man, until I saw that grave.

But, I spent 14 hours in a car, had to see the grave of someone I loved. Perhaps the only family member on that side I still loved at all. And now I'm once more stuck in insomnia. It's been, 30hours no sleep because my body can't handle stress in any capacity and is now throwing a full blown tantrum.

There's not much of a point to this post. I'm not aiming to garner sympathy or pity. I just needed to talk about it even if no one sees it. I don't like to talk about my issues to people close to me, I don't like to complain. Sometimes, it's easier to let these things out when I'm hiding behind a fake name and a fake face.

[threnodians]

operation do not cry at my irl bestie’s wedding: FAILED

[depthsoftheabyss]

Now what ? What should I do with this much hurt and betrayal ? How do I go on being kind ?

[darby-rowe]

me while at work: im gonna write so much when i get home :)

me as soon as i get home:

[non-illustrary]

Can someone explain to me wtf is wrong with this fandom!?

I’m upset and pissed off with some of the community right now and most of us know why. What will it take for everyone to finally stop getting one people’s nerves because “It’s the right thing to do!?”. I have heard and witnessed falling outs due to pity squabbles due to lack of communication and assumptions. Harassment. ARE YOU ALL FOR REAL

there is a thing called “ personal space and respect”, a lot that some have forgotten about apparently.

I’m AT MY FUCKING LIMIT

I rejoined this fandom to finally enjoy something after a long year of bullshit, just to come back and seeing that some of you all are the reason someone’s joys is utterly shattered because some of you ignorant fuckers won’t actually look and see the truth for yourselves and just automatically resort to aggression. OOHHHOHOHO! Buddy you need help!

I’m tired, so fucking tired and burnout and I apologize if this bothers my mutuals.

IM FUCKING DONE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

HARASSMENT IS NEVER GIVING YOU WHAT YOU WANT IT SLOWLY DESTROYS SOMEONE FROM THE INSIDE OUT. You don’t like someone? KEEP IT TO YOUR FUCKING SELF AND LET THAT PERSON KNOW YOU ARE NOT COMFTORABLE SEEING THEM ANYMORE AND GO YOUR MERRY WAY ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.

Sigh, I’m tired and so fucking done

[bunnihearted]

🍽️😔🎻

[taurusicidal]

i just cried so much because i’m so tired of everything!

[ipatrichor]

there are plenty of good parts of me finally having looked into deconversion resources (validation that i'm not alone in my experiences, examining my beliefs to find out where they come from and if they're harmful, developing a healthier mindset and worldview, etc.) and i would make the choice to do so again

however i gotta say the process of deconstructing things i've been taught literally since birth, realizing how fucked up a lot of it is and how much it's harmed me and most of the people i've ever known, and starting to unlearn perspectives and thought patterns that i had never thought to question before is. well. let's just say it feels like dissolving in acid and not being sure yet what parts of me will make it out the other side

like this was absolutely the right choice for me, i know i'm going to be happier and more mentally well once i've actually examined and worked through the ways christianity shaped my mind and thoughts, it's just fucking scary and overwhelming to pull my perspective on reality apart at the seams and rip out the parts that are rotting yknow. especially since it means confronting a lot of shit i didn't realize i was repressing

[starryeyesmasc]

me when it’s the week before my period: