#I am invested :0
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you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 馃挭 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.
#i cant fucking do this not at all actually im very scared and i have no idea what im gonna ddo for money and yeah i am. so scared#money isn't even scary if i can just find a job! but i need an apartment but i can't find an apartment unless i can pay for the rent#and i have to contact The Dude at some point but uh. hes mad. im scared.#augh delete later probably. im sitting on the stairs outside and smoking a cigarette which i really shouldn't do#did I tell you i was scared. i have these cruel nightmares of roaming the streets looking for nala and not finding her#and i wake up in a cold sweat in a panic not knowing where i am. everything is so unfamiliar !!!!#if things ever work out for me if i can find the money for deposit or get my investments back somehow i swear i will spend a month in compl#ete silence staring at the cieling just processing this#right now everything feels so GO GO GO and i am scared it might break me. i do not have the time for chronic ilness right now yk.#tummy ache. chewing on my cheek.#nothing to do than try to stay positive but man. this really fucking sucks and is really unfair#who knew being a people pleaser with 0 boundaries would come back to bite me in the ass.#/groan/
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what if trump started campaigning on an anti genocide stance. would that finally convince the dems to fucking say something or would they continue to double down and sink themselves further
#I am speculating. the current political landscape is so fucking weird that I don鈥檛 know what to anticipate#but I think if trump started leaning into a stronger antiwar message he could pull voters away#bc Harris has said JACK FUCKING SHIT abt her foreign policy stances#and it鈥檚 literally only going to get worse#she has some important political choices to make her and there is no fucking time for her to lose#*here#I am talking abt all of this as someone invested only in the race itself. not the party#I鈥檓 v curious abt the internal strategy going on here#it鈥檚 perplexing me#democrats have not yet earned my vote and genocide is a hard fucking red line#as of right now. 0 plan to vote for them#star鈥檚 thoughts#usapol
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Styles of Storytelling Structure
OK love of God I'm so embarrassed that every post I make gets insane long. I tried to match this explanation up with the previous ask but it got so long, so this elaboration gets its own post. For reference, these tags are referencing this post. Read that one first if you want.
I hope I can find a way to explain this succinctly and non-judgmentally. I do mean it extremely nonjudgmentally. I write both kinds and they both have their own merits.
For me, there's two kinds of fanfic writing. I call 'em Fic Style and Novel Style. This isn't about tropes or content, but about how the author composes the story.
Novel style is the 'traditional' way of writing a story. It has a three act structure, rising action/climax/falling action, tight pacing, every scene does five plot/character/theme related things. It reads like a published short story or a book.
Fic style is often reliant on the source material to make complete sense, and its plot or characterization is usually scaffolded onto the main material. For many of these stories you use the pre-existing canon structure. The story isn't as structured or tightly written, scenes are more likely to be there for vibes, and there tends to be more worldbuilding and a slower pace in general. It's worth noting that fic style can often really resemble soap opera, comic books, long-running manga, Dr Who, etc. Anything serialized, meant to continue on for a long time with no definite end point.
(If you're a frequent flier, to give you some idea: New Wave and Good Luck Jake were novel style, Hope Etc and Listen 2 Ur Heart were fic style. Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge was novel/short story style, reel to reel was fic style.)
Neither is better or worse than the other. They can be both equally enjoyable. One of my favorite fics is 'a simple thing' by iridan and it's fic style. Case fics are more likely to be novel style [I suck at case fics]. Shortly, fic style is easier to write, more likely to be enjoyable, and harder to make very good. Novel style is really hard to write. Super hard.
This is because novel-style writing just requires more skills. You need to lock down story structure, plotting, tension, connecting physical/emotional/plot/theme, pairing story beats with character beats, and dealing with a lot of different plot threads at once. I think of it as braiding, kind of: weaving three character arcs, a plot arc, growth of character relationships, and development of the themes and messaging. A scene should ideally do all of these things at once. Everything needs to be perfectly matched together so it all moves as one. The longer the story is, the more content of all of this you have to deal with, and the more difficult it is to do well. You're just juggling more balls. I had to write one bad 100k story and another mediocre 100k story before I got to a kinda-good 100k story. Forget about how long it took me to get to a decent freaking 60k story. I wrote really enjoyable 60k fic style stories before an actually good 60k novel style story.
This is why skills have to scaffold. I think a lot of beginner writers are constantly trying to fight those level 60 boss fights at level 20 and they get frustrated when they lose. You have to figure out how to write decent dialogue and decent prose before putting together a good scene. Then you have to figure out how to string a series of scenes together in a way that makes sense. Then you have to figure out how to put those scenes in the right order to make some kind of coherent and interesting story with conflict and character arcs. Then you start tossing one ball in the air and figure out how to write those 20k short stories. Then you add more and more balls as your stories get longer and more complex. You have to develop a lot of different skills individually to put together a well-structured final product that's fun to read.
Stop getting so frustrated when you can't beat out a 60k story that's Barnes & Nobles worthy when you're a beginning writer! Stop dreaming big! I know how frustrating it is not being able to put what's in your head down on paper. It's not going to be perfect. Of course you're having issues writing longer things, you're still figuring out how to put longer things together.
Pick something to work on. Figure out what skills you still need to develop. Figure out how stories work and what makes a good story, and then try and build it yourself. You do not need to write a traditional novel style story to develop your skills in dialogue, prose, characterization, tone, tension, POV, etc. You can get that stuff down first. If you're interested in working on story structure and pacing you'll have to practice doing things traditionally. No, you're not going to be happy with it. Be proud of yourself that you improved and developed a skill. Be proud of yourself that you're writing. Writing is hard. It's fun, but hard. If you aren't having fun then you're just left with the hard.
Writing isn't about the finished product. It's not about if you wrote something that people enjoyed or said was good. It's about enjoying writing. Everything else happens naturally from there.
#i am kind of speaking assuming that you're really invested in skill development and not just vibing and fucking around#the ppl fucking around are more valid than i am tbh#they're the geniuses here.#writing#writing advice#I guess.#i think it's hard to understand that skills need to scaffold if you haven't sat down and parsed out how stories work#so maybe that's step 0?
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getting into a new fandom and finding 0 fics for it on ao3 馃槶 is it over
#delete later#it's 4am where i live and i cannot sleep which is v frustrating bc i have work as always#and i will truly private this when i am more awake and embarrassed but the fandom is k//ill//er p//et//er on we//bto//on#aka k//ill//er p//ie//tro depending on the translation scans site#it's only ~30 (scrollable webcomic format) eps so far... very action-y and digestible#but man. the titular character...#..............#seasoned assassin who succeeds despite the crazy odds stacked against him out of sheer competence and experience#what if he had a cold 馃檨馃檨馃檨#i was actually reading it for reference for something more action-oriented i'm working on to familiarize myself more with the genre#my personal investment was not part of the plan (馃ぁ)#i don't think i can be the one to post the first ever fic on ao3 and have it be a gratuitous sickfic 馃槶 i don't have it in me#also i think it would not quite live up to the joy of reading someone else's thoughts about how he'd operate when unwell... but sadly there#is 0 demand for it except for me and it's also not the kind of genre where we would ever get that arc in canon#...next time i need to find something with at least 1 sickfic on ao3 before i get emotionally invested
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@memoriesofafallen just so you know.
You have awaken a freaking sleeping dragon in my brain, and now I am brainrotting SO MUCH I will probably end up doing BOTH version of what you suggested.
NOTHING
and I mean
NOTHING manages to take me by the neck and hold me like freaking nostalgia!!
NOTHING.
fml.
I am done for, because the brain is braining HARD.
#Nemo babbles#sorry#this is from Instagram#but fml if I am NOT INVESTED#SO FREAKING INVESTED#Tofu always coming in with the suggestions that kick the brain in motion#literally from 0 to 1000 mph#SORRY WILL BE DRAWING A BIT MORE#WHILE TRYING NOT TO LET MYSELF GET OVERWHELMED BY WANTING TO DRAW EVERYHING FML#seriously#nothing like suggesting me something from a fandom that i have been into since i was what? 4?#i still remember my cousin making me play with the Sega Saturn with this game#and then hand me down his comics when i started watching the cartoon in 94'#and damn it i couldn't read because i was still in kindergarden#but you can bet your ass i could look at the pictures and try draw them#with catastrophic results of courae#exactly what you would expect from a child of 5
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they should invent a person that listens to you
#with at least _some_ degree of consistency. or am i asking for the moon here#why am i leaving most rl social interactions with the distinct impression that i'd have been better off talking to the fucking wall#not that this is a new phenomenon#in other news the next heatwave is arriving today and the 0 return on investment health insurance payments keep draining my limited coffers#fuck my stupid baka life i should be studying gothic lit in a cold and windswept land
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star citizen is always like "here's our newest ship: the BEST, most FIERCE fighter ever. $300 (real money)" while power creeping out their last "best, fiercest fighter ever" that was $280.
#always leaning further away from the whole 'citizen' thing#and more towards 'space military simulation' instead#I am 0% invested anymore btw#I just still get emails and it's funny to see
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#being a smosh fan is so funny bc personally i do not have a lot of invested interest in the sketches#which is their whole THING lol but i just think i am over that type of humor#what the people crave... well what i crave... is structured improv#they have/had such good unique ways of doing that#w a bunch of the board games the reunions and lets do this#and tntl of course#they probs had some before (i did not watch a lot of their stuff pre 2021) but the current cast is like perfect for more improv stuff#so i would like to see it pleaseeeee#i also want to see amanda on VIP with vichicular manslaughter and id loooove damien/chanse on anything tbh but maybe even#play it by ear#:0#just some thoughts im having
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damn tumblr really is dead. twitter has been on fire the last 2 days since the gayest aespa member showed up dating a guy but i still haven't seen a word about it here lmao
#and ngl its ridiculously similar to when taeyeon and tiffany showed up dating men 馃あ back in 2014#its kinda funny to see the exact same shit play out in kpop 10 years later lol#(i really am a kpop dinossaur 馃槶)#and im laughing now that im 0 invested in aespa/winrina but back in 2014 when i was unheathly attachd to snsd/taeny i was the one crying lo#(i still dislike nichkhun to this day 馃か pls never marry a man tiffany pls 馃檹馃ゲ)#(baekhyun is okay cuz i really love exo but pls never marry a man taeyeon pls 馃檹馃ゲ)
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(Okay, I just posted a big thinky meta, and somewhere in there I asserted that I didn't have shipping expectations/hopes going into the finale. And I think that's mostly true... but it's also possible that my enjoyment of the finale was swayed somewhat by the door having been left wide open for my OT3. I don't want to imply that I'm completely above all earthly shipping desires, even if I mostly don't care about canon endgame and will write my lil fics regardless.)
#i don't want to get invested in shipping endgame worries#especially after my last big ship turning toxic over such debates#but I am probably lying to myself if I pretend it was 0% relevant to my experience of the finale#and I'm sorry for anyone whose ship got sunk#ted lasso finale#ted lasso#op#ted lasso spoilers#(just to be safe)
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tristamp s2 confirmed AND timeskip p much confirmed ??? if im readin mutos tweet on twt right & timeskip (n tristamp s1 at least being like... kind of a prequel?? Idk what else to call it) is confirmed everything abt s1 will finally make a little more sense to me lmao.
#i am now fully and 100% convinced the pacing was fucking insanely fast bc they just wanted to get all of the set up out of the way for the#timeskip. which unfortunately affected my investment but knowinf it was probably intentional to build up to smthn gives me a lil more hope#for this series... some changes still make absolutely 0 sense to me (even just the concept of a prequel esque route for trigun in GENERAL#confuses me bc it just rlly doesnt seem like something that works for it but! we'll see!) but ill continue to just. try my best 2 b open#i just PRAY AND HOPE this means vash will finally fucking get literally any character since theyre def gonna b having him#develop more into his og self. like they HAVE to be what else would they b doin wit him. if they continue to make him so one-note after s1#idk what ill do lol#im still just skeptical on him as a whole bc it feels like theyve Already Missed So Much for him but. ILL HOLD OUT HOPE FOR NOW!!!
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Stuck in "can't think of anything about my OCs" block again. Sorry to my D&D character. Yes I will play you in a session soon. No I have no concept of your personality, motivations, backstory. Trying to do so is like pulling teeth. Sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyy 馃挃
#when people as a way to get to know you go. tell me about your ocs#I'm so sorry that's such an interesting question that I'm sure would spark interesting answers from many people#unfortunately for me it makes me exhausted on the spot to even PRETEND I have ocs with stories I am actively invested in#imagination 0 I guess.#[please don't try to link me like. oc building things. I appreciate it but the problem is it exhausts me to no end and brings me no joy]#bien rambles#[also please don't like. try to comfort me. I'm fine]
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argh i would love to break out my gouache more often but getting ready for it is literally a whole entire process and i am . lazy......
#god i need a bigger desk#<- and big alligator clips to keep my sketchbook pages flat#thinking about it more i should really invest in some paper thats dedicated to handling gouache so that it doesnt buckle like mixed media#paper :0#though im scared that itll go unused for too long because my bursts with drawing traditionally are a bit infrequent ... so its like oh man#am i just getting stuff just to get stuff? and other thoughts of that nature#but its also like ...... i love getting stuff .....#big questions on the kerberos account today#txt
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freaking out a little bit because i don't have any work for my first OR second job next week :)
#txt#op#this is insane i'm sorry but like. one week i'll think great the window stuff is really taking off#next week we literally have no fucking work#like i am making exactly ZERO (0) dollars#it's really hard not to commit to giving up and doing foodservice full time in moments like this#like i see my work paying off it's just that i am exhausted and broke all the time still bc when i get more money then#i use that to invest in more marketing stuff to get our name out there more#ugh it sucks i feel so lost
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some day rggs will write majima in a game for reasons other than "we made him exist and now we must acknowledge this". i have hope. and i am not lying to myself
#i promise i am invested in kiryu and ichi accordingly but like unfortunately they made majima like that. and i have a type#also 0 does not count because that is not the character im talking about okay
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I want you guys to know that every time I post.a snippet about the KingTumu story on here, I read it about 25 times.
#literally no one in the universe is as invested in this as I am and this is all I have of them#it's so fucking vivid in my brain and the pajn#the pain in my heart#i feel it so viscerally#and rereading their story finally being told is so liberating#I just want people to know ;0;#I have reread it all maybe like a dozen times just today#y'all have no idea#the quotes the feelings the heartache#i keep saying i wont talk about certain things but then i just make a separate long post about it
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