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levi501ackerman · 7 months ago

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Object of Affection | Levi x Reader Fluff

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Summary: Some may think Levi is whipped or your servant. But acts of service is how Levi shows his love

Word Count: 1.9k

Megans's Note: song correlated: Ridin' by ASAP Rocky ft. Lana Del Rey. btw whenever I say song correlated I dont mean it with the intention to offer to listen to it while reading. It was just the song that inspired the idea or that was on loop while writing. posted: 4/18/24. I'm really glad AOT has sparked me to write again. I need more practice lol. Enjoy.

Eren, Jean, and Armin were the first of your friends to be sitting at breakfast in the dining hall. Sasha was in one of the lines to get food. It was a sunny day and a few ODM drills were available for whoever wanted the practice. Some other classes were going on as well. It was a general casual day for the scouts. For some scout units, there was food preparation for future expeditions, but for you and your friends, you did not have much on the agenda.

“I think I’m going to do some drills today,” Eren said. “Are you going to join us?” He asked Armin who usually went to Erwin’s office.

“Yeah, I can. I finished the little project with Commander Erwin.” He said then took a bite of his bread. Sasha hurried to the table to sit down. Her plate had a bigger portion than everyone else at the table. “It is a nice day outside too.”

More people started entering the dining area. The morning crowd of scouts was starting to pick up. Jean noticed you and Levi walked through the door.

“Y/N’s coming. Maybe she’ll practice with us,” Jean said. The table noticed Levi say something to you and then you smiled and started going towards them.

“I don’t know she’s been spending a lot of time with Hange and Moblit doing research and testing theories,” Eren said.

“Morning guys!” Sasha brightly greeted the table. The line for breakfast was moving a little slower with the incoming scouts. Everyone acknowledged Sasha.

“Sasha, are you going to do drills today? We’re all going to.” Armin asked invitingly.

“Yeah, and I think Y/N was thinking about it too,” Sasha said. You approached the table and smiled at your friends.

“Are you not going to eat?” Jean asked.

“Levi’s getting my food.” You said. They look over to see Levi's arms crossed standing in line with the scouts.

“Why don’t you get your food yourself?” Eren asked

“Levi knows I don’t like standing in lines so he just said he’ll start getting my food.” You said. Jean and Eren laughed.

“Wow if only I could have the captain serve me food.” Jean joked and you rolled your eyes with a smile on your face.

“He’s not serving me, he just knows I don’t like standing in lines so he offered to get my food from now on.”

“What if he gets you the wrong food?” Eren asked.

“Well Levi knows what I like,” you said.

“We’re going to do drills today, you should come,” Armin said. Most of your free time has been spent with Hange and Moblit. You looked up to Hange and she liked you. You enjoyed working with her and in general learning more about the titans.

“Yeah, I’ll come.” You said and your friends were elated you were joining them. “Ugh wait! I forgot my belt and some straps in my room.” You rolled your eyes. “It’s such a nice day out for drills too. Hopefully, it won’t get hotter.”

A few minutes later, Levi put a plate of breakfast in front of you. He softly smiled.

“Do you want water or tea?” Levi asked.

“Water please.” You said and then he walked away.

“Yeah sounds like a server to me,” Jean said.

“Stop it, Jean. He’s not serving me. When you get a girlfriend you’ll understand that you’ll want to help her and make her feel like she doesn’t need to worry about anything.” You said back.

“I feel sorry for whoever decides to date you, Jean,” Sasha said with a full mouth and you both giggled.

“Whatever I am a catch,” Jean said. Levi came back with water for you and some tea for himself.

“I have a meeting I’m going to go to now,” Levi said to you. The table greeted Captain Levi and he acknowledged them normally.

“I’m going to do drills today with my friends.” You said to him.

“Nice weather for that today.”

“Yeah, but, I left my belt in my room—”

“I can go get it.” Levi offered.

“Thank you that would be really helpful.” You said and he left for his meeting.

“Y/N’s has him whipped,” Jean said.

Truly you did. Levi wanted to help you in any way he could. On the last expedition, he made sure you had your own food to take of yourself. Levi always triple-checked that your gear was in top shape. If you mentioned something was sore, he would offer his best to massage you. If you mentioned anything that inconvenienced you he would do his best to find a way to fix it for you. You once mentioned that the drawer to your nightstand kept getting stuck halfway when pulling it out and you would have to tug hard to get it to keep pulling out. Later that day he took apart your nightstand to fix the sliding drawer. All of a sudden it was working and you didn’t think about it anymore. You didn’t even know Levi fixed it until a week later.

Once, when you and Levi passed by a stationary shop, you mentioned how you have been journaling since you were young. You had eight journals and mentioned a slight fear that they would end up getting damaged or burned in a fire. You treasured your journals that were filled with your memories. He later got you a small perfect-sized fire box that you could keep your journals safe in.

You and Sasha met up with Mikasa and decided to be grouped for the drills. It was getting a little warmer than expected. But there was still a slight breeze. You three started stretching and getting your gear together. Then you noticed Levi walking up to you with the belt and straps you needed.

“I got the belt you needed,” Levi said and your heart fluttered. It was so sweet how helpful he’s always been.

“Thank you,” You said.

“You look really pretty,” He said and you blushed a little.

“I’m about to get really sweaty.” You laughed.

“It’s starting to get hotter.” He said squinting and looking up at the sky. “Show the dummy titans no mercy.” He said and you smiled while watching him walk off.

“You two are so freaking cute!” Sasha said making you blush more. “I’m so excited for when I get a boyfriend and we can go on double dates!” That did excite you and you smiled.

“I can’t wait to meet the guy who deserves you.” You said while putting on your belt and straps. “A guy that’s sweet.”

“I think you need someone who loves meat just as much as you do,” Mikasa said. “Or someone who can cook—” Sasha squealed.

“Oh my god that would be perfect!”

“That would be the perfect guy for you,” you said.

“You guys want to compete for the most kills?” Jean called out in the distance. Connie was now with him, Eren, and Armin.

“Mikasa is going to win! Back out now while you can!” You yelled back. The drills began. “Mikasa you should give him a head start!” You said and Sasha laughed. Though it was spring and getting greener outside the temperature got hot while everyone was doing drills. It was an unexpected rise. You pulled at your shirt trying to get ventilation whenever you had the time to do so. The heat made everyone work harder because flying in the air gave everyone a slight breeze. After the drills, everyone was sweating. It was a good workout but people were getting tired quicker because of the heat. When walking back to your stuff Sasha was giving Jean crap about Mikasa beating him. It wasn’t a surprise but the competition did make Jean work harder. Jean was a great scout and even gave you some helpful pointers with the ODM gear. Out of everyone doing the drills, he got the second-highest kill count right behind Mikasa. As you approached your stuff you noticed three water bottles that were perspiring because of the heat.

“Is this not where we put our stuff?” Sasha asked. But then she saw her bag and Mikasa saw her stuff.

“Whose water bottles are these?” Mikasa asked. You noticed the drenched little note under the water bottle closest to your stuff. The note read: I noticed you guys didn’t have water. Stay hydrated.

“They’re from Levi. He got us water because he saw we didn’t have any.” You said and Sasha started chugging hers.

“That’s considerate of him,” Mikasa said and the three of you started chugging the cold water.

“Thanks, Levi it hit the spot!” Sasha said and crinkled her empty bottle.

“I need to change, I’m so sweaty and probably smell bad.” You said. Many scouts who did drills all had the same idea to take cold rinse-off showers. No one was expecting a spike in the temperature. When you got back to your room with Sasha. You noticed another water bottle and a note near your bed. It was from Levi again. Come to my office for dinner. You smiled and told Sasha. Your heart fluttered because he was so sweet and no one else saw this side of him. He used to be so shy in front of you and you used to think he didn’t like you. Levi would be his normal self to everyone but then he would be quiet in front of you. It made you feel insecure until Hange exposed Levi. She and Moblit told you that Levi talked a lot about you and wanted to get to know you. Hange may have been the one to tell you that Levi thought you were pretty. Which gave you the confidence to approach him.

In the evening you went to Levi’s room, and you were ready for some alone time. When you knocked on the door, Levi opened it pretty quickly. He shut the door behind you and embraced you in a big hug. He smelled nice and then you noticed the smell of his office.

“Sit down I made us some soup.” He said. “I saw they had that bean mixture you don’t like for dinner.” Your heart fluttered and the soup smelled good. The smell made you hungrier than you were before. “I got some bread and mashed potatoes though to fill you up more. You need the energy from being outside most of the day.” He said.

“Thank you, Levi,” You said grateful for how thoughtful he is. It was so nice how much he tried to help you or thought of ways to make your life easier.

“Anything for you, Y/N,” He said and you two began eating. The soup was satisfying and Levi getting bread for it was a good idea. Honestly, Levi did a lot for you because he cared for you so much. He had little to no dating experience before you and he did not want to do anything to make you feel like he didn’t respect you. Levi has always been considerate of you since you started getting close and dating. He would listen you to and remember little things about you. You felt cared for and though you and Levi haven’t told one another that you loved each other. You already knew.

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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 8 months ago

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The Danger Zone (Part 22) - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC

Word Count: 3.0k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.

Warnings: Post-Partum Depression and Anxiety; Insomnia; Breast Feeding; Life with a Newborn; Post-Labor Struggles; Mental Health Issues; Medical Inaccuracies; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description

Summary: You are not yourself. Jake is worried.

A.N. Please read the tags. I am not a medical professional. This chapter deals with PPD. If that is triggering, please skip it.

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You had truly learned the meaning of the word ‘exhausted.’ Everything just felt heavy, and your brain was completely clouded. You were just running on autopilot. And you still just couldn’t sleep.

Waking up while Jake continued to snooze beside you, you slipped out of bed and stood beside your daughter’s crib, watching over her nervously. She was sleeping peacefully but you still placed your finger in front of her face until you could feel her breath. But even then, you stood there, watching her to make sure that she was safe and alright.

Jake rolled over in his sleep, reaching his arm out for you. But his arm rested against the bed instead of your hip and he started to grow cold from the blankets being moved. Jake blinked awake a few moments later and sat up to see you hovering anxiously above Maisie’s crib.

Letting out a soft sigh, Jake got out of bed and slowly walked over to stand beside you. You didn’t acknowledge him, still glued to the image of your daughter. Jake gently reached out, wrapping his arm around your waist, and pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head. You still didn’t turn to acknowledge him.

“She’s fine, Honey. She’s just sleeping.”

“I thought I heard her crying,” you told him softly.

"She's safe. She's just sleeping."

"But what if she's hungry?"

“She ate,” Jake reminded you gently.

“But I don’t think that she ate enough. What if she’s not getting enough, Jake?”

“We’re going to see the pediatrician in a few days,” Jake stated calmly, rubbing his thumb in circles over your hip. “But she wouldn’t be sleeping soundly if she was hungry.” Gently giving your hip a squeeze, he added, “Come back to bed. She’s sleeping. She’s fine.”

It took about fifteen more minutes of coaxing, but Jake finally got you to climb back into bed. But you still laid awake, staring at where your daughter lay, a million different worst case-scenarios running through your mind. And when Maisie finally did cry, you were beside her crib again before Jake could pick his head up.

He watched you, a bit defeated, as you picked Maisie up and carried her back to bed, urging her to latch and feed. Jake sat up to help you, but you seemed to be in your own world.

“Come on, Maisie,” you urged, an edge of panic in your tone as your daughter didn’t immediately latch on. “Come on.”

After a bit more fuss, Maisie finally started to feed, which let you finally take a breath. You turned to Jake when he reached out and gently grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked quietly, causing you to nod and look down at your daughter.

“She’s feeding.”

“But are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you insisted, watching your daughter. “She’s feeding.”

“I’ll get her next time.” Leaning down so that he could look up and assess your expression, Jake reached out and gently brushed your cheek with his fingers. “You need to get some sleep. You’re still recovering yourself.”

You nodded absentmindedly, not agreeing or disagreeing with him, which only made Jake more concerned. He was worried about you. And the guilt that he felt while he was stationed away from you seemed to have returned with a vengeance.

Maisie unlatched and even though you tried to get her to latch again and feed, she scrunched up her nose and turned away from you. Jake stepped in and gently took Maisie from your arms. You watched him with a defeated expression as he started to burp her.

“What’s wrong?” Jake asked you softly as Maisie whined and wiggled a bit against him.

“Do you think she got enough?”

“She didn’t want to eat anymore. She’s full. I can feel it in her belly,” Jake joked, but you didn’t laugh. Sobering and staring at you with concern, Jake added, “Go to bed. I’ll get her changed. Just get some sleep, Honey. You’ll feel better.”

He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head before rolling out of bed with your daughter. You watched them go, staring listlessly at the door. Slowly fixing your shirt, you laid down and rolled over. Closing your eyes, you buried your head in your pillow as tears dripped down your cheeks.

Jake, meanwhile, finished up changing Maisie’s diaper and picked her up off the changing table, pressing a series of kisses to her cheek. Maisie let out a little coo, sticking her tongue out as she kicked her feet. Jake moved to sit on the couch with her and rested her against his chest as he leaned back.

“We’re just going to stay out here for a little bit. So that your mommy can go back to sleep.”

Jake gently rubbed your daughter’s back, pressing a lingering kiss to her head. Maisie, with a full belly and fresh diaper, didn’t spend too much more time awake before she dozed off again. Jake checked his watch before slowly standing up.

Walking back into your bedroom, Jake was relieved to find you asleep. He gently set Maisie back down in her crib. Getting back into bed, Jake was careful not to disturb you. You had barely slept since you came home from the hospital and he knew that it was taking a toll on you. Taking one last glance at his whole world, Jake moved to go to bed too.

~~~~~

You and Jake sat in the waiting area of the pediatrician's office. Maisie sat in her baby carrier at Jake’s feet, content. Jake could tell that you were anxious with all of the other people in the room and gently rested his hand over your bouncing knee. You turned to him as you fiddled with your wedding band and Jake offered you a supportive smile.

“It’s okay. We’ll be in and out. Alright?”

“I know,” you replied, before going right back to your nervous fiddling.

The medical assistant eventually walked out from behind the door and called Maisie’s name. Jake picked up Maisie’s carrier and the three of you made your way back. Maisie was weighed and measured, during which you nervously fisted the back of Jake’s shirt, before you were taken to an exam room.

The pediatrician walked in a few minutes later and greeted you kindly before moving to check up on Maisie. Jake took your daughter out of the carrier and laid her down on the exam table. Your heart leapt into your throat when Maisie whined. Holding your fist to your lips, you stared at your daughter as Jake looked back at you with concern.

The pediatrician conducted her standard checkup. Jake stood behind the exam table, smiling as Maisie stuck her tongue out and waved her fists. The pediatrician listed off a few questions that you and Jake answered, before moving to chart.

“She’s still taking her time to grow,” the pediatrician stated, causing your heart to jolt.

“She’s not growing?” you asked, your blood pressure steadily rising. Jake reached for your hand, but you ignored him, stepping towards your daughter. Looking Maisie over yourself, you turned back to the pediatrician urgently. “Is she sick?”

“No, I don’t believe so. She’s still growing, just at a slower rate.”

“Should we be concerned?”

“Not yet, no. Every baby is different and grows at their own rate. And they usually catch up in their own time,” the pediatrician explained, though it did little to soothe you.

“Usually?” you repeated, feeling your stomach contract and twist.

“Yes. We’ll just monitor her, that’s all. You said that she seems to be feeding regularly?”

“Yes, but I don’t think she’s feeding enough.”

“What makes you think that she’s not getting enough?”

“Well, she’s not growing enough,” you insisted, causing the pediatrician to pause.

“She’s perfectly healthy. Just a little small, that’s all. I see plenty of small babies that grow up to be tall adults. It just takes some time for some babies.”

“Is there anything that we can do? Or anything that we should stop doing?”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing. If it would help your peace of mind, you can keep a log of your daughter’s feedings and—”

“—I already have one.”

You pulled out your phone and searched for your log as Jake watched you closely. Showing the pediatrician your feeding log, you waited anxiously as she read through it.

“She seems to be feeding normally. I think that she’s just a little small, that’s all. Nothing to be worried about. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Your daughter is healthy and happy.”

“Thank you,” Jake spoke up, moving to put Maisie back into her carrier.

“You’re sure that we can wait until the next appointment before changing anything?” you asked as Jake stood up with Maisie.

“I am,” the pediatrician assured you before opening the door.

After making Maisie’s next appointment, you and Jake headed out to the car. Getting into the back with Maisie, you missed Jake’s worried glance. He turned around to face you, watching you hover over your daughter again.

“She’s okay, Honey. You heard the doctor. It’s probably nothing. She’s just small.”

“But what if it isn't nothing, Jake?” you snapped, causing him to pause. “What if something's wrong with her?”

“Then we’ll handle it like we handled everything else that life threw at us." Jake turned around to face you, though you didn't meet his gaze. "She’s going to be fine, Honey.”

You didn’t respond to him, continuing to hover over your daughter, like you were expecting some threat to jump out of nowhere and hurt her. Jake focused on the road, but his mind was in the backseat with you and your daughter.

~~~~~

When the three of you returned home, Jake moved to give you some space. He offered to watch Maisie, but you insisted on watching her yourself. And so, Jake left you downstairs to go and paint the nursery. The two of you were slowly putting your house together and the mindless work just helped him refocus.

It took a lot to shake Jake Seresin. But you were really starting to shake him. You weren't you. And it terrified him.

Painting the final wall with the first coat of paint, Jake paused when he heard Maisie cry. He waited for you to get her, since he assumed that you were hovering over her again. But when too much time passed and Maisie only cried louder, he dropped the paint brush and hurried downstairs. Turning the corner, Jake spotted you and Maisie in the living room.

Maisie was lying safely in her bassinet, letting out shrill cries with a bright red face. And you were curled up on the floor a few feet from her, sobbing as you held your hands over your ears. Jake looked frantically between the two of you before going to Maisie first as she let out another piercing wail.

“Hey there, Maisie Baisie, it’s alright,” Jake cooed, scooping his daughter up and holding her to his chest. Patting her back and bouncing her as he watched you worriedly, Jake tried to get Maisie to stop crying. “What’s bothering you?”

After getting Maisie to stop crying after changing her diaper, Jake placed her back in her bassinet before hurrying over to you. You were still sobbing uncontrollably, curling up on yourself. Jake kneeled down in front of you and gently grabbed your wrists and tried to pull them away from your ears.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

You sobbed out a response that Jake couldn’t piece together, so he simply pulled you into his arms and tried to get you to stop crying and shaking. Repeating over and over again that Maisie was alright, Jake rested his head on top of your own and forced himself to remain calm and focused.

“It’s my fault,” you whimpered out, causing Jake to frown.

“What are you talking about?”

“Maisie. It’s all my fault,” you sobbed, which only made Jake hug you tighter.

“Nothing’s wrong with Maisie. She’s healthy. She’s fine.”

“She’s small.”

“For now. She just needs some time to grow, that’s all,” Jake reiterated, rubbing your back as you continued to shake.

“I’m a failure,” you sobbed out. “My mom raised two kids on her own and I can’t even feed my daughter enough!”

“Honey, you’re being too hard on yourself. Maisie is safe. She’s healthy. You’ve done everything that you’re supposed to do. You’re an amazing mom to her.”

You didn’t respond, except with more tears, and Jake just held you as you cried. Resting his head against your own and forcing himself to keep his voice level and without too much emotion, he moved to speak gently but firmly.

“I’m worried about you, Honey. You’re not you.”

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, causing Jake to squeeze you tighter.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault,” Jake insisted softly. “None of this is your fault.” Gently cupping your cheeks and staring into your eyes, Jake stared at you with all of the love and support in the world. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. And I’m going to be here for you and Maisie through all of it. Alright?”

“Okay,” you croaked out shakily.

“I love you and Maisie with everything that I have. And I’ll be here every single step of the way, alright? I’m not leaving you two.”

You nodded in return, unable to put your emotions into words. Jake pressed another kiss to your forehead and pulled you in for another hug, unable to prevent a few tears from sliding down his own cheeks.

~~~~~

You stared at the woman across from you, nervously fiddling with your hands. After a few calls, Jake got you an appointment with a psychologist who specialized in PPD. He was waiting with Maisie out in the car now, which gave you some peace of mind, but you were anything but comfortable.

“Any history of anxiety or depression?” she asked kindly.

“Both, yeah.”

“Can you tell me about those experiences?”

“It was when I was a teenager. My mom died. Cancer. And my brother left me with our godfather about a year later and I was just . . . I felt like my whole life just crumbled in an instant. They eventually diagnosed me and put me on some medication.”

“And did it work?”

“Yeah, I went off of it about two years later.”

“And have you had any other experiences with anxiety or depression since then? During your pregnancy especially?”

“I wasn’t diagnosed with anything.”

“Did you ever experience any symptoms though?"

“I had a rough first and third trimester,” you stated quietly.

“Can you elaborate?”

“My pregnancy was unexpected and there was a lot of tension at that time with telling everyone and dealing with that. I made some mistakes, and I could have handled it better." You bit down on your lip, glancing down at your shoes. "And for my third trimester, my husband was deployed unexpectedly.” Fiddling with your wedding band again, you added, “It was very difficult. Emotionally.”

"Can you describe your thought process at the time? What were your concerns at the time?"

"Jake, my husband, he had become my support system through my pregnancy. He was there for everything, helped me through anything and with anything. And then he was just gone. And I had other help, but I just wanted him."

"Was the timing the concern or the fact that he was deployed?"

"Both, I think," you admitted quietly. "I needed him. And he made it, but he almost wasn't there. And I just spent so much time angry because he wasn't there."

"At him?"

"No, no," you replied quickly, shaking your head. "At . . ." You paused, trying to put your emotions into words. "I'm just tired of people I care about being ripped away from me."

~~~~~

Outside in the car, Jake was entertaining Maisie, who was smiling and cooing as she reached out for the toy. Jake tickled her tummy when he got a phone call.

“Hey, Penny,” he answered quietly, still entertaining Maisie.

“How’s it going?”

“She’s only twenty minutes into her appointment,” Jake stated, glancing over at the clock. “She was nervous.”

“It’s not easy to admit that you need help,” Penny replied, causing Jake to nod. After a moment, she asked, “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine. I’m just trying to do everything that I can before I go back to work next week.”

“Maverick, Sarah, and I are all ready to be there for her and Maisie. But don't think about that right now. You still have time with them,” Penny reassured him, though she knew that he was still going to be concerned. “How is Maisie?”

“She’s perfect,” Jake replied, looking down at his daughter. Tickling her again, Jake smiled as she cooed at him. “She’s still small, which her mom is worried about, but the doctors say she's healthy.”

“She just needs some time and support, that’s all. They both do."

"I know."

"You know that we're here for you too, Jake, right? Anything any of you three needs, we're here for you."

"Thanks, Penny."

~~~~~

“How do you feel about going on medication again?” the psychologist asked, causing you to look down.

“I need to go on medication?”

“I think that given your symptoms and your past success with medication, it would be a good idea for both you and your baby. I’m particularly concerned about your insomnia and how it’s affecting your recovery.”

“Would I have to stop breastfeeding?”

“Not necessarily, no. But is your ability to breastfeed a source of anxiety for you?”

“I guess it can be,” you admitted quietly, shifting in your seat.

“Well, I’ll start you on a low dose, which is safe for your daughter. But if you feel that continuing to breastfeed is a source of anxiety, then we can discuss it at your next appointment. And you can also reach out to your obstetrician or your daughter’s pediatrician to figure out a solution that works best for you and your daughter.”

Your psychologist went through a few more things with you before you booked another appointment. Walking out to the car, you slowly slid into the passenger’s seat.

“How did it go?” Jake asked you softly as you set the pamphlets and paperwork down.

“She wanted to put me on medication.”

“Are you okay with going on medication?” Jake questioned kindly.

You shrugged your shoulders, more tears forming in your eyes. Jake leaned over to wipe your tears away lovingly, which made you shudder, remembering how you yelled at him before.

“I just want to go back to normal,” you breathed out shakily. “I just want to be me again.”

“You will be. It’ll get better. And I’ll be here through it all.” You nodded slowly, letting the tears fall freely as Jake pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “I love you so much, Honey.”

“Thank you,” you croaked out., “for not leaving me.”

"I'm never leaving you. You're stuck with me, Honey." He pressed another kiss to your head. "In sickness and in health,” Jake reminded you, causing you to nod slowly.

Getting Maisie settled again into her car seat, Jake took your hand in his own and started to drive the three of you home.

A.N. I am not a medical professional nor am I an expert in postpartum depression/anxiety. This chapter was written based on stories of mothers who have gone through this and some medical research. This is not meant to be inclusive of all of the ways that PPD can present, and it is also not meant to make it seem like PPD is easy to spot, diagnose, or treat.

In this case, Honey’s demeanor in her last trimester and her past struggles already clued in Jake and others. PPD is more common in women who have previously experienced depression or who were depressed during pregnancy, both of which are true of Honey. This isn’t the last that PPD will be mentioned in this story (as that would be inaccurate) but it will be less prominently featured in future chapters if you find it triggering.

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venture4treasure · 3 months ago

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"Happy Birthday, Venture"

Words: 657

Premise: Venture’s birthday unfortunately overlapped an important Overwatch mission, but you do your best to make the best of it for them.

Warnings: None

Three hours into a flight back to Gibraltar, and most of the agents have been lulled to sleep by the exhaustion of the mission aided by the gentle rumble of the plane engine.

You slip into the empty seat besides Venture, they’re staring absent-mindedly out the window, head resting against their hand propped up on the tray table. They don’t make any acknowledgement of your presence.

“Sloan,” you ask, your hand ghosting over their shoulder – unsure of if touch would startle them.

They snap towards your voice, blinking a couple times to ground themselves before breathing out an exasperated groan.

“Sorry, sorry,” they say, waving their hands for emphasis, “didn’t mean to ignore you, love”.

“It’s fine,” you smile, reaching for a towel to wipe at some of the dirt on their face, “you didn’t wash up earlier?”

“I was tired and thought I’d knock out instantly,” Venture leans back into their seat, “instead I’ve been thinking, getting into my own head about things”.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You hum.

“It’s my birthday, I almost forgot with how busy everything has been,” Venture explains, “guess this whole ‘saving the world’ thing doesn’t come with vacation days”.

“It’s also my first birthday away from family,” Venture adds, quieter, “like it was going to happen one day, but I really wish I were home with mi abuelita and not on this mission”.

Venture pauses, reflecting on what they’ve said. They make a face, sticking their tongue out as if spitting out something gross.

“What am I saying,” they whine, “of course I want to protect the people and artifacts of Dorado, but…”

You reach your arm across Venture’s neck, pulling them in for a hug.

“No, I get it. We’re all so tired with everything recently,” you lean back, tracing their eye bags with your thumb – you can’t imagine how exhausted they are between Overwatch and the Wayfinders Society, it’s bad enough just trying to keep up with Overwatch alone these days.

“Anyways,” you chirp, rummaging through your bag to take out a tupperware container.

“Cupcakes,” you cheerily announce, “I wouldn’t forget your birthday”.

Venture stares at you, at a loss for words.

“How did you get them aboard?”

“Who’s checking,” you ask back. Ana does, your mind helpfully supplies. But she all but encouraged you when you bashfully explained why, so that doesn’t count.

Venture makes a noise, surrendering to your point. They pick up a cupcake, taking a bite.

“It’s good,” they lick their lips, “better than the rations on the plane for sure”.

You agree, digging through your stuff again for a plastic bag that you haphazardly drop besides the cupcakes.

“Rocks?” Venture asks, amused.

You pick out one of the ‘rocks’ from the bag, breaking it in half to show them.

“Cake balls” you correct, popping the dessert in your mouth, “they’re really good, I got the recipe from Lena”.

“Lena cooks?” Venture raises a brow in disbelief, picking a cake ball for themselves.

“No,” you laugh, “Emily does though, she's fantastic”.

The two or you eat in silence for some time, breaking the peace to show each other social media posts on your phones.

“Oh,” you pull out a yellow slip of paper from your pocket, “I got this for you too”.

Venture takes the note, unfolding it to read its content.

“A paid leave of absence…” Venture reads to themself, “from the Wayfinders Society and Overwatch?”

“This isn’t real”.

“It very much is,” you huff, “took forever to find who manages this kinda stuff for the Wayfinders, but Winston was happy to give you your well-deserved break”.

Venture lets out a choked noise, catching you in a tight hug, shoving their face against your neck. You can feel them silently tear up. You hold them closer, running your hand comfortingly across their back.

“Go enjoy a break with your abuelita,” you say.

“I will,” they assure, still clutching onto you.

“Happy birthday, Sloan”.

Author’s Note: One (now a couple, oops) day late because I forgot until I saw a tweet about it.

#venture fics #venture x reader #venture x you #venture overwatch #overwatch venture #venture #sloan cameron #sloane cameron #overwatch x reader #overwatch fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #Tracer’s a good cook?? Canonically? My bad.

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lyriumsings · 9 months ago

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I keep seeing people talk about Palestine as if all hope is lost like they’re already gone and “the least we can do it remember them” and quite frankly I reject that. These people are fighting for their lives demanding the world to pay attention to them. Demanding their freedom and their right to exist on their own land. In light of the absolute atrocity that is happening in Rafah I am urging everyone to remember why we’re protesting and that these people ARE HERE. They’re alive, they’re real, they have a beautiful culture that needs to be witnessed and celebrated so here are some Palestinian creators you should follow because Palestine is not lost. It is not an empty land that’s gone. They will never be gone and we should all keep fighting until Palestine is free and not a second before because Palestine WILL be free again. I’m focusing mostly on Palestinian creators on tiktok because I think it’s important to see the physically and listen them and just acknowledge that they’re people, they should have linktrees to their other social media. I encourage you to visit their pages and interact with them because they are also being censored especially on tiktok. My platform isn’t big here so please feel free to reblog and also add more links, I would love to follow more Palestinian creators as well!

None of us are free until we all are. From the river to the sea. 🇵🇸🕊️🍉

@/mxriyum - a Palestinian woman who shares her amazing recipes passed down from her mother. She hasn’t posted in a while but there are many Palestinian recipes on her page that are absolute delicious. Please give them a try.

@/anat_international - a Palestinian woman giving updates on what is happening in Gaza but also shares about Gaza before the genocide. She is currently being heavily censored by tiktok for talking about the genocide and is doing more “influencer” like videos to beat the algorithm. So she’s sharing more stuff about the culture like Tatreez clothing, and organizing pottery painting sessions with people who are palestinian and allies. Extremely informative! She’s taught me so much.

@/sammyobeidthem - a Palestinian man who is a comedian. Genuinely so funny! And proudly Palestinian and talks about Palestine in his sets!

@/elyanna - a Palestinian singer. Her voice is insanely gorgeous. She has a song that has not been released on spotify called olive branch that is about the ongoing conflict in Gaza.

@/monamakeupdoll - a Palestinian make up artist, she’s absolutely gorgeous! She share tips and tricks and make up brands that support Palestine!

@/thatfalahigirl -A Palestinian Influencer she has a link in her link tree to purchase a Keffiyah if you haven’t yet there is even a discount! All proceeds go to Gaza via Pious Projects! She shows various ways to wrap it and shares her cultural clothes and I learned what dabke is because of her and it looks like so much fun!

@/amalzhamm - A Palestinian influencer she posts about her lifestyle and food and her family and it’s just so important right now to see happy Palestinian people. Palestinian mothers and fathers and children just existing. Like all of us do every day. And she shared this absolutely beautiful video of what palestine is like.

I’m going to end with this next one the very first person I saw on tik tok that educated me through his videos on Gaza and Palestine in October last year.

@/iamsbeih - a Palestinian influencer he posts about what is happening right now and what has been happening to the Palestinian people for over 70 years. He talks about his own family and his roots in Palestine the correct way to pronounce Gaza and Palestine. Just so much crucial information and i’m so grateful for him being willing to spend the time making these videos to educate people like me. He even posted a couple of palestinian songs (iirc they’re folk songs a lot of Palestinians in the comments know them) recently and they’re very beautiful.

Thank you. Free Palestine.

#long post #gaza #free palestine #palestine #lyriumsings txt #this is not to say to put your head in the sand about palestine #i don’t think ive seen a single palestinian who isn’t vocal about what’s happening is Gaza obvs that is not what they want #but they are more than something to mourn #stop talking like they’re a relic and like ‘we failed’#boost their voices go to protests call your reps donate as much as you can #just fucking do something #instead of lamenting esp if you yourself are not palestinian #the defeatist talk was driving me fucking insane

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eddiediazismyhusband · 3 months ago

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Buddie in S8 and Slow Burns:

so those of you who follow me or see my posts popping up in the buddie tags know that i am still apprehensive of believing that we will actually get buddie canon in s8. tim has done too much to destroy my trust in him as a writer, and the show has baited us with buddie far too many times for me to easily take anything as a “clear/obvious sign that buddie is happening” when it is just as likely that we are being clowned yet again

that being said, IF we get buddie canon, it needs to happen fairly quickly. I have seen a lot of people saying things like “I don’t want buddie to go canon until the s8 finale” which, i disagree with.

I know a lot of people are saying this because they want a mutual pining era, but i don’t think these people are grasping the fact that if they waited until the finale, that is 18 episodes of tv to fill with something of substance for buddie. Another eighteen episodes; almost eighteen hours of tv. Even with a mutual pining era, that is far too long for them to continue dragging this story out.

Yes, i know that if they are going for a slow burn, that that takes time, but good lord it’s been 6 seasons of actively building up to a relationship… they’ve had six years of stalling, they need to go ahead and fucking commit to it, not take 18 more agonizing episodes of them dragging their feet. If you commit to them having acknowledged feelings for each other, they don’t need more than one or two episodes of mutual pining before it would start getting old.

realistically, we could have a fully fleshed out queer arc for eddie AND mutual pining leading to buddie canon within 8a. 8 or 9 episodes is MORE than enough time to build up to that with what they have to work with— they’ve reached the point for conceivably going canon so many times that it feels like there isn’t any build anymore; it feels like they’ve parked the bus a half mile from the station, and have started doing a thorough inspection on all the parts after driving almost the whole distance.

i know we love drama and angst and slow burns— that’s the appeal of buddie as a ship; but this slowburn has been way beyond fully cooked since s4, and there is no need to keep cooking it (unless they’re just baiting us, which in that case we need to decide when enough is enough and call it a day on this show)

this is not a fanfic that has no expiration date. this show isn’t going to last forever. i ship buddie because i want to actually see them navigating a relationship— i don’t ship them to be edged for 7 years just for them to go canon for one singular episode. i want to see them bask in each other’s love, i want to see them living together with the happiness they’ve been chasing their whole lives, i want to see them encounter speedbumps, and go through hardships together. That is why i ship characters. The chase is fun for a while, but I actually want to see what happens once the chase is over, and them going canon in the last episode is not narratively satisfying to me, and at this point feels like a copout for the writers.

We don’t know how long past s8 this show will last. we don’t even know if we’re getting a s9, let alone more. it’s already unheard of for tv shows to reach this longevity post-2016, we can’t just go into each season assuming that we still have all the time in the world for them to give us buddie. the reality is we don’t have all the time in the world, and this is the make-or-break season.

we don’t need 18 more episodes of stagnant growth. if they’re going to give us buddie, they need to stop dragging it out and just give it to us if they actually intend to, not cop-out and give us a last minute kiss in the season/possible series finale.

anyway, getting off my soapbox for now, but i just wanted to get those thoughts off my chest.

#911 abc #911 #911 on abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #buddie 911 #buck and eddie #911 buddie #edimh #edimh rambles #eddie diaz is my husband

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whinlatter · 4 months ago

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author's note | chapters 13 & 14: the moult & the vulture

now the dust has settled... thank you for reading chapters 13 and 14 of beasts! thank you also to the askbox angels who asked for the author’s note (it is still mad to me someone reads these). now, it's inquiry time, baby - and boy are the gloves coming off, and the secrets spilling out. the wait was long; so were the chapters. sorry, again, about that. so - kindly read on for discussion of some major themes and plot points, a little on song choices, and some juicy deets and a sneak peek of chapter 15... and 16…

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut ✨

writing notes and headcanons

first - a disclaimer: am going to talk about that cliffhanger in a separate post up shortly (i rambled on too long). it will be up shortly!

second - a thank you! the reaction to these chapters has me in absolute bits. i'm a soppy sentimental shit at heart and this really did make me the happiest little girl in the world. so thank you forever and ever for that.

third - an acknowledgement, as ever, to @saintsenara, whom i bounce all the inane details off of, whose takes absolutely slap and who i hope will forgive me for making her boy rookwood such a flop.

divide and conquer/accidentally wrote two chapters again: what am i like! the trouble is - life-stuff aside - i was excited about these chapters (and the reveals), but also put far too much pressure on them to do a huge amount of heavy lifting, and to get the story to a place it wasn’t yet at and needed to get to quick. the writing challenge for these chapters was that i needed a series of plots to hit a rolling boil so we can get to the flashbacks to ginny’s war and all the reveals. and it took fucking ages to work how to structure and serve them as each needs at this point in the fic, and try to find a set of themes/devices to tie those plots together into something cohesive (especially because writing fic is much more like dropping tv show episodes in structure rather than actually sharing a novel, in part because you drop them one at a time at intervals, and i think the more successful ones can stand alone while also serving the overall body of work). i have - i confess - knitted, in my time, and you know when you have really thick wool and thick needles and you’re trying to slowly eek off one stitch onto the other needle and it actually really starts to hurt? it felt like that :)

two inquiries, both alike in dignity: god, i love an inquiry. the truth being dragged out kicking and screaming by the state, buffeted by political winds and a rapacious press? inject it. at last, the past is getting properly dredged up, and all sorts of buried secrets are getting unearthed in the process. so: in the present, the hogwarts inquiry is under way, and the wizengamot has assembled to hear what exactly has been going down in that cursed drafty old castle. in the past, though, we have flashbacks to a separate inquiry, into the events of 1992-1993, after the chamber of secrets was opened, where it wasn’t hogwarts on trial, but ginny herself (in a way). the events of ginny’s first year have haunted her in diffuse, quiet, private ways in the flashbacks throughout this fic so far, but we’re moving into the part of the fic where we see just how much they changed the course of her life and who she is as a person. in canon, ofc, we only see harry’s view of the aftermath of ginny’s ordeal in the chamber - dumbledore is reinstated, lucius gets kicked off the governors, ginny weasley is ‘perfectly happy again’... but would that *really* be the end of it? doesn’t it seem perfectly plausible the ministry would investigate given the scale of publicity and threat to student lives, given (as discussed previously) the ministry canonically holds inquiries of varying scales for all sorts of things in canon? wouldn't they hold one for this?

ginny's guilt: in CoS, young harry never blames ginny for any of it: she was hoodwinked, he recognises, and not at all culpable. it’s very harry, and it’s a compassionate read of the situation. but given how little we know dumbledore tells anyone about what the diary actually was (even lucius didn’t know), wouldn’t ginny expect to face at least some questions about her own involvement and culpability, even if she was clearly to some extent also a victim? (the nod to colin’s mum is there as a reminder that there were real victims of the basilisk attacks: ginny could easily have been responsible for the deaths of several children, including her own friends, and if it were my child i think i’d want to ask at least a question or two). what i wanted to show with these flashbacks was this very formative experience for young ginny grappling with her own guilt and her place between two wars, having to face difficult questions about her own complicity in dark magic and attempted murder; for there to be echoes of ginny’s experiences in the experiences of young death eaters during the second wizarding war, and to start to properly draw these themes about choices, moral agency and grey areas, about children’s radicalisation and wars fought both by and through them, and, in particular, where ginny weasley sat within them. what i wanted to show was how ginny’s political and moral worldview was shaped in those pivotal years: her guilt, her sense of her own failings and inadequacies, how discontent she was to be a victim, how obsessed she is with being an agent and a soldier, how much she feels she has to prove. i might bash out a proper meta on this but i think it’s so telling how ginny talks about her second year later on in canon - how haunted she is by the forgetting (in OotP), and how much she sees it as having ‘[taken] orders’ (in HBP), rather than thinking of her possession as just playing host to another entity. here, it’s dumbledore who points out the key traits that led ginny into riddle’s path: her loneliness and isolation, her many insecurities that made her so vulnerable, her fear, a certain desire for self-preservation. even though we know most hogwarts students don’t seem to really know what happened in CoS, and certainly not ginny’s part in it (terry boot in OotP is like ‘lol did you kill a basilisk with a sword!’ which seems to be the extent of the student body’s knowledge of what went down). but i like the idea of there being a record of ginny’s darkest moment in her file, ink and paper proof of this most formative experience in her life, dumbledore dancing around her defence but keeping his cards close to his chest - and also there to pursue if anyone planning a hogwarts takeover was interested in finding someone close to the order of the phoenix who might be a weak link in the chain and be persuaded to flip…

dumbledore: dumbledore appears here only in flashbacks - he’s still absent from his portrait in the present - but it was sooo fun (re)introducing him as a character for the fic for the first time. what i liked about writing dumbledore’s dialogue (though it’s actually much harder than i expected, and i don’t feel that great about some of the lines) was that it was a chance to get a bit meta with the dumbledore bashing tropes that circle around fandom - you work through child soldiers, you monster etc - and try and do something a bit more interesting with them, or at least ask some questions (child soldiers or human shields? can children fight for what they believe in? how you fight a fair fight when the other side sees children as fair game - do you confine children to victimhood, or do you acknowledge, or even encourage, their own moral agency and desire to fight back?) dumbledore is walking a very difficult moral line here: defending ginny, but declining to disclose information that might conclusively exonerate her - eg. the existence of voldemort’s horcruxes - in the name of his most favourite thing, the greater good. in dumbledore’s mind, ginny deserves a defence, but not the whole truth, because that’s too important and bound up in a much bigger picture. dumbledore is always playing 3D chess while everyone else plays chequers. should dumbledore have revealed the horcruxes to conclusively exonerate ginny here? no, right? and yet. one day ginny will name her middle son after this man, and we might start to think about why. is it just loyalty to harry? or something else? i wanted us to see ginny’s political worldview being built, and her view of war and a soldier’s role in it, all themes that will be super important as we go back in time to see her war as she lived it in future chapters.

the intellectuals: one of the least developed but most interesting parts of the wizarding world in canon are the ideas and the people who have em. the series has a lot of important characters that are supposed to be eminent thinkers, but it doesn’t ever really linger on ideology, in the end settling on a kind of boilerplate liberal universalist good vs evil message which is fiiine but much less interesting than actually playing around with the concept of political thinkers and political thought in wizarding culture. it’s why i find the department of mysteries so interesting and so ripe with potential; the idea of a space of intellectual inquiry and investigation, but also a place where the staff’s moral allegiance is kind of a question mark. i loved introducing rookwood here and playing with a different kind of death eater, especially juxtaposed with dumbledore’s reflections in the flashback testimony. rookwood isn’t a bruising thug for fire, or a self-serving machiavellian real politik type or a coward acting out of fear, but someone who really believes in magical supremacy and has built a robust political worldview around it. there’s something really chilling about that. we’ll be seeing him again and i unfortunately am now so rookwood-pilled i worry i will never recover. i knew i’d get hegel in there somewhere! and they said it couldn’t be done! ariana carl schmidt what are you doing here!

kingsley vs minnie: delicious to reignite the minnie discourse, especially to come out to try and beat the minnie-bashing allegations that have jovially dogged me thus far. so far in this fic, kingsley has been an unrelenting goodie, someone who came to ginny to get her endorsement of the inquiry and framed that approach as the righting of a moral wrong in letting the victims of a death eater-run hogwarts have their day in court. minnie, on the other hand, seemed like ginny’s opp, defending a toxic status quo and making wild suggestions like ‘do your homework’ ‘don’t play quidditch when you might die’, like some kind of fucking idiot. in the series ministers of magic are canonically not to be trusted - harry certainly never meets a minister who doesn’t try to put the squeeze on him - and it’s extremely fun to sow these seeds of doubts about kingsley’s motivations here, especially when using ginny the protagonist as canon harry’s mirror (ie. a narrator who is frequently a dumb bitch). what’s kingsley up to? answers on a postcard. but i’ll die on the kingsley is a slytherin hill i’m so sorry! and speaking of minnie…

mother figures (or: the pitfalls of shipping your mum out to the dominions): look i bummed myself out with this one. i have had that the mrs granger knife crime incident scene written for SOoooooo long let me tell you. i’ve written elsewhere about how much this fic is really so much about the girls, and - especially - the girls and their mums, or the people they make mother figures out of. one of the least satisfying of the ‘all was well’ aspect of the series was that actually, at the end of DH, you have a whole host of people who were probably never going to be well again, and i very much see hermione’s parents in that camp. the world and his wife has an opinion on hermione’s decision vis-à-vis her parents. hermione’s stans see it as her deepest personal self-sacrifice; her haters take it as yet more proof of her monstrousness. even if you imagine the grangers were totally mentally well after having their muggle brains messed around with by powerful magic, it is hard to imagine how their relationship with their daughter could ever really be the same again after hermione played god with their minds. but also - as ron says - hermione was motivated by a desperate desire to protect two people who would never really be able to wrap their heads around the peril (such was their distance from her life in the magical world), and who conceivably did need to be yeeted halfway across the world to get them out of harm’s way. the choices made in war - the inglorious, imperfect decisions not of purist heroes but of soldiers in the grimmest of circumstances - are so interesting to play with writing post-war fic, and i have found it so interesting and so sad to play with; especially the idea of girls coming of age and learning to see their mothers clearly, and - in the case of both hermione but also ginny - having to wrap their heads around the possibility that they may never really be ok again, and asking what that means for them, their daughters.

(also hermione brawling at ballet is a tribute to a very dear friend of mine who was in fact asked to leave our ballet lessons for pulling another girl’s hair in a fight over the barre in a pre-primary exam. monstrous competitive precocious stroppy madams unite!)

hinny: i’ll answer some of the Qs i’ve had about this in a separate little from the postbag post shortly, but i do want to say: the thing with these chapters is that it was really important they happened after harry and ginny have had some breakthrough in the preceding chapter, where ginny has agreed to be honest and harry has asked her to let him help her and not to protect him from the truth. i always wanted harry and ginny to write these letters each other and promise to be honest to work on bridging the gaps between them and overcoming their own failings to work to do better by each other, and for those letters to now look like contracts they have to hold each other to. how will harry take it? they’ve made a commitment to each other. now they’re testing that commitment, and that’s going to take a lot of work, especially on harry’s part. (also ofc he had to find out at shell cottage, the official place of harry realising stuff. he’s going to start declining bill and fleur’s dinner invitations fr.)

ron weasley is our king: this whole fic is just ron apologism and i will never apologise for it. helping his girlfriend's traumatised mentally scarred mother with a bit of tlc and a spot of gardening! rescuing neighbour's children from trees! you will never be able to convince me ron weasley wouldn't be a great fucking boyfriend to one ms hermione granger. do not ever try!

last thing - sodding quidditch: fucking hate writing it!!! hate it with my whole heart!!! i see why everyone writes hermione now. you don’t have to give a shit about those stupid balls if granger's your gal. the mystery of what’s going on with ginny on her broom continues, with ginny’s apparent ability to seek (just about) but not chase throwing up more questions than answers. what was fun about writing this bit was getting to write ginny the captain and the team player, taking on great risk for the team - of injury, of humiliation - and also place her in this surround that the trio never really operate in: a character who is canonically very popular and liked by her peers, who has played the thoroughly selfless and unrewarding role of backup seeker and potter understudy for years for her house, and who will saddle up at enormous personal expense not just because she is brave, or inherently self-sacrificing, but because she wants to make the people around her happy - her gryffindor family, but also the hogwarts student body at large. the trio are much less motivated by the well-being of the other children around them - they have higher-minded self-sacrificing tendencies about a more abstract moral good. neville and luna, the other two members of the silver trio, are goodies but unpopular oddities. it’s an underplayed part of the series that harry and the trio turn around in their sixth year and clock that somehow ginny turned out to be very liked and respected by the popular and unpopular of hogwarts alike, admired for being a) a laugh and b) someone who cares about other people and wants to get on with them. (makes you realise how often protagonists are removed from their peers in a slightly lofty they don’t understand me or being popular is beneath me vein.) this isn’t just a Nice Thing: i think it’s important for who ginny is as a character, and will be important for thinking about her wartime motivations, too.

reading list:

not done one of these in a while! but most things should come with a reading list, and these chapters are no different.

on ministry bureaucracy and the state (actually read this after these chapters were done but desperately wish i had read it before ffs):

Subluxation by @saintsenara

on hermione's mum/parents:

alone now by Kyra Along the Way by ElizabethCulmer you were broken-hearted and the world was, too by celaenos

on post-war justice and difficult questions:

what you're not to do by irnan

on the potters and the sea (more vibes than subject matter - this is next gen - but this one is gorgeous, and really got me thinking about harry and ginny's family by the sea):

Eyes like Sea Glass by @clerical3rror

songs from the playlist for these chapters:

for chapter 13 i went all moody, building dread, bit of a throwback to michael corner calling ginny a tryer with the taylor swift choice (i've never been a natural/all i do is try, try, try). that kate bush song basically got this chapter written i swear to god:

she is like the swallow by karan casey | waking the witch (2018 remaster) by kate bush | house of the rising sun by joni mitchell | bane by alt-j | afraid of everyone by the national | mirrorball - the long pond studio sessions by taylor swift | what if the birds aren't singing they're screaming by aldous harding

for chapter 14, much more abstract, a bit more instrumental, and out to sea (watershed moment; the tide is rolling in, kids). tortured poets is a deeply flawed deeply uneven album by a deeply un-self-aware artist convinced she knows herself well but but i'm afraid the albatross is very good (so is guilty as sin but it wasn't the moment for a matty healy wank anthem now was it):

the opportunity passed in less than a minute by roy montgomery | the albatross by taylor swift | first of the tide by erland cooper and benge | wash by bon iver | escapism by a. blomqvist

about chapter 15 (and 16…)

the next chapters are ginny's war. they're (almost) all flashback, and i am sooooooo excited about them (and desperately hope you will like them jfc). i am in the unusual position of now picking up great enormous pieces that i wrote over a year ago and dusting them off and sorting them out and rewriting bits and writing new bits around them. there's probably two chapters in it, so am currently expecting chapter 15 and 16 to drop at the same time (that might change, but for now, that feels right to me). i'm tip-tapping as fast as my little fingers can carry me. here's the least spoilery sneak peek i could rustle up!

'I'm not smugglin' in nuthin", says Hagrid. He raises a large muddy finger at her. 'I want yeh to listen to me, for once in yer life. Keep yer head down. Go to yer classes, have yer dinner, put up, and shut up. They're lookin' fer a reason to go after yer family. Reckon the best thing yeh can do for the Order is to keep to verself and stay out o' trouble. Reckon that's what yer mum wants yeh to do. Reckon that's what Harry wants, too.'

#beasts #author's note #remembered a reading list this time and all #more to come because of who i am as a person #AN #hinny

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softxsuki · 10 months ago

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Hello, congratulations on your milestone!!! I am not sure if there are any spots left, but if there are, can you please do the trope enemies to lovers with a tokyo revengers character? Have a nice day and congratulations again!!!

1.5k Follower Event Trope #1 Tokyo Revengers

Trope 1: Enemies to Lovers

This event is now CLOSED. You can check out the masterlist for this event here.

Warnings: Slight mention of violence and being killed (baji says it once, no one actually dies)

Note: Thank you so much! I had this one sitting in my google docs for while because I didn't like it, but I reread it today and I think it grew on me after letting it sit there for a while lol. Enjoy :D

“Why are you here again?” Baji spits, not impressed at all.

You were another person Mikey had dragged in, finding you interesting and deeming you both friends, not that you minded. You hadn’t joined Toman, but Mikey always invited you over to their base, and you quickly became fond of many of them, including a certain black-haired man that couldn’t find it in him to accept you.

“Still suspicious of me? Seriously Kei, ever thought about loosening up?” You question, walking past him.

The nickname makes Baji’s heart flutter slighty, much to him mentally refusing to acknowledge it. “Oi, I told you about calling me that name. Stop acting like we’re so close to each other! I don’t want you here,” he grits, hating how unfazed you were by his ‘hatred’ for you.

“Yeah yeah, I know you like it,” you tease, disappearing down the stairs to head back home for the day.

Since the first time Mikey introduced you to everyone, Baji had his suspicions about you. How could everyone just openly accept you to hang around them and listen in on their meetings? What if you were working for a rival gang, showing up to get intel for them? Why was he the only one suspicious of you? And why did you have such an affect on him? Your carefree attitude, your disregard for being surrounded by dangerous men. He felt so conflicted.

The longer you hung around, the more he let his walls fall, yet he kept that stubborn, rudeness whenever you were with him. He refused to show that he had somewhat trusted you, let alone that he may or may not have a thing for you–though he’d never admit that to anyone, he could barely admit it to himself.

One day though, you had managed to gain all his trust. You had found a sneaky rat from a rival gang sneaking around Toman’s grounds, just looking for trouble. Could you fight? No. Were you still going to call him out and try and get him to leave? Yes.

You approach the man and begin to threaten him, talking big for someone who couldn’t defend themselves. Baji was watching the whole thing go down from afar. A tinge of suspicion grew as he watched you approach the man who was clearly up to no good and didn’t belong with Toman, but that all vanished as soon as he saw you try and make him leave.

“That idiot,” he grunts to himself, tying his hair up as he makes his way over to you, arriving just in time as the guy goes to throw a punch your way.

Baji quickly pushes you out of the way, and easily beats the guy up, mentally making a note of the gang attire he wore so he could inform Mikey of the situation later.

“Are you insane? It’s like you were just asking to get killed! You should have just shouted for one of us to help, we’d be able to hear you if you screamed loud enough. What kind of idiot who knows they’re weak, tries to fight someone off alone?” Baji went on and on, telling you off, yet all you could do was smile at him.

“Stop looking at me like that with that stupid grin, it isn’t funny”

“Heh, you care about me,” you smirk, egging him on.

“Of cour- What?! NO! No, I don't. What made you ever come to that conclusion?” He screamed, his face growing red at his almost confession. Why were you so irritatingly cute?

He could deny it all he wanted, but it was obvious how he felt for you. Now knowing that he could trust you, he started hanging around you more often. And after a few more months, he became the one who’d invite you over.

“You know…you could just ask me out instead of staring at me all the time. I’d say yes.” You say from beside him, feeling his eyes on you as you sit side by side on the shrine steps.

“What?! I-” He groans, feeling stupid that he was so obvious. With a sigh, he looks away from you. “Then let’s date.”

You didn’t expect him to actually go along with it. Who knew the man who had hated you so much would be secretly admiring you and finally have the guts to ask you out.

“Sure,” you shrug, feeling your own face heat up.

It would take some time to fully warm up, but dating was the first step, a large step from where you’d been with each other before.

Posted: 1/2/2024

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interstellar-productions · 6 days ago

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I want to continue my earlier post about Aaron and pastels. More specifically i want to talk about why i think he would naturally lean to pastels. (Outside of my own personal bias of putting pretty boys in pretty colors)

If we’re bringing in my Aaron post yesterday (about how he copes with his traumas) then i think he’d lean naturally to pastels for similar reasons as to why the rest of the OG foxes like the vibrant orange of PSU. Aaron doesn’t want people to see him or look at him, he wants people to glance right over him. The artist part of me considers the symbolism of colors and how they can be used to convey messages.

With that i bring you this. The foxes use bright orange as their colors so that way they can’t be looked over. This has more then one meaning to me as a psych major and art enthusiast. The general public doesn’t like to acknowledge people like the foxes because their living breathing proof that the world is an ugly place. These are people that have been used and abused to a point where they’ve been severely damaged. By the foxes colors being bright orange its a statement that forces people to acknowledge their existence, their survival. “You ignored me when I was being broken. You will NOT ignore me now that I have to live with the aftermath of your ignorance” for the foxes the bright colors are an act of defiance.

Aaron hates the bright orange, he doesn’t want people to see him because people seeing him means that he has to admit what happened too him. That’s why he hates the bright orange because everyone knows what it represents and more importantly it’s such a bright color he can’t hide when he wears it. He’s forced to stand out and be seen.

Thus we move forward to several years down the line (in my mind he starts with socks in his senior year) he’s made peace with himself and what happened to him. Therapy and strong support system and building better relationships with his family (the foxes). He might never really get to the point of wearing or being comfortable in the bright fox orange (I imagine that all the foxes still have certain things that are fox orange, I also imagine that Aaron has never felt comfortable in the color). But i think at some point he gets used to wearing pastels. Aaron and Andrew wear dark colors a lot in the books and i have to think that for Aaron it comes from needing to blend in and Andrew it comes from a place of intimidation.

So as Aaron gets more comfortable and heals he starts to unconsciously lean to pastels colors. The foxes use neons to make themselves seen. Aaron leans into pastels.

The foxes: im going to make you notice me so that way you’ll never be able to say “i didn’t know” again.

Aaron: its ok if you look at me, I’ve made my peace with what i am

The foxes what you to see them, thats how they heal.

Aaron grows to be ok with being seen even if he doesn’t go trying to make people notice him.

Just Aaron whose version of healing is him going from so violently wanting not be noticed and wanting to be normal so bad it physically pains him, growing to be comfortable with maybe not being completely normal and becoming ok with standing out just slightly. Just enough.

Aaron going from being scared of being noticed to be ok with it if it happens.

Making peace with it. Making peace with himself.

And it all starts his last year at PSU when he’s at the mall and comes across a pair of socks that will be so comfortable with his scrubs and work shoes. He doesn’t even care that their sky blue with pastel creamsicle orange fox silhouettes.

#all for the game #aftg #aaron minyard #post AFTG #let Aaron minyard be happy #please god let this man be happy #let all of the foxes be happy #and jean and Jeremy too

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retrieve-the-kraken · 27 days ago

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Am i the asshole?

A coworker who is one of the pride leaders at our office posted last week on our deai group something about coming out day, but they captioned it “Love is love!!”

I wrote to them aside that, for future reference, the tagline “love is love” excludes other queer identities that are not related to romantic attraction, like aroace and nonbinary people, etc. (I had been wondering about this since pride month this year, and coincidentally came across several posts and articles detailing why the tagline became so popular, and now also problematic).

They got super defensive and said things that made no sense. I tried to explain that love is love came from marraige equality, that it became an umbrella tagline to ‘represent’ pride but it was outdated, the same way saying ‘gay’ was once used to refer to anyone queer, etc. But they still didn’t see what i meant, they said that it’s a lot like the people who refuse to acknowledge their identity because they don’t look more masculine (this person identifies as trans masc).

I admitted that, despite not negating their identity, i often used the wrong pronouns with them (they prefer he/they, but they say that they don’t mind if people use she, or even it, because they say it’s meaningless), and im always kicking myself for it. Bear in mind that in Spanish it requires a bit lore consciousness because EVERYTHING is gendered… so i try, but i also have a faulty brain, and my mouth is faster than my mind sometimes, and i often unconsciously say ‘she’.

Today, we were talking normally, and then I brought up that convo, asking them if they felt like i was attacking them, because of how defensive they got. They said no, but then they started saying some defensive stuff again, and even some problematic stuff, and i was trying to clarify why i said that love is love just doesn’t cover other queer experiences. I didn’t want to lecture; as Isaac says in Heartstopper season 3 “i don’t feel like giving my friends a vocab lesson”, because a lot of people unfortunately don’t know or don’t further understand aroacespec identities and what it all means. But i wanted to clarify, just so that we could be on the same page.

And they kept saying really weird stuff, and pretending like they didn’t understand, and i said that it felt like they weren’t even trying to understand or even listen.

And then they said “listen, I don’t care.”

I asked “what?”

They stood up and repeated slowly, “i don’t care about this subject”

I said “oh… okay… thanks.”

Why did i say thanks? No idea. I was really taken aback. This was literally the first person i came out to at work, and they just told me they didn’t care to understand more about my identity or my experience, and then they walked out.

When they came back, i just didn’t talk to them again. There was a meeting with the whole team, some of the team went to get lunch, came back, ate lunch. They were there. Then we continued working. Hours passed, and we work in the same office room, and i just sat there, working, and then they finally spoke to me.

“What?” I asked.

“I said, are you done with the cold shoulder?” They said, and they were giving me this small smile, like they thought i was being ridiculous.

It really pissed me off, for them to know that they made me angry, but instead of apologizing or trying to find out what exactly made me angry, they just thought i should be over it by now. Like i’m being too sensitive.

I said “no”, and went back to work.

It makes me really disappointed, because this is a person who is very outspoken about being queer, and encouraging other queer people to be open about their queerness, but the moment I want to talk about my queer experience, they were very rude.

I know they might be going through things, they just lost a parent, but we’re all going through shit, we all have problems, that doesn’t give them a right to dismiss me and be rude like that.

And especially since they’re supposed to be like the pride group/ queer community leader, for them to react like this feels very problematic.

Until they apologize or at least try to talk to me about this seriously, i don’t want to talk to them about anything that is not strictly work.

It’ll probably be noticeable to others, since we usually talk and joke a lot. But i don’t feel like it. If they don’t care, then i don’t care either.

Anyway, it doesn’t feel like i’m being the asshole, but… am i the asshole?

MASSIVE EDIT TO CLARIFY SOME THINGS, BASED ON A COUPLE OF COMMENTS I RECEIVED, AND ALSO ADDING A FOLLOW UP TO TODAY:

Thank you to the people who offered comments and advice. I will clarify some things, because, as I feared, I may have left some context out in my attempt to summarize the situation as much as possible.

- No, they didn’t JUST lose a parent, it was actually a couple of months ago now, and they’ve been mostly fine, but one day i had a meltdown from stress, and they comforted me afterwards, and they also became overwhelmed, and i comforted them in return. i know grief is a process, but i don’t think this was the kind of situation which would warrant them taking their grief out on me.

- No, I wasn’t trying to change their mind, I was trying to share something with them. I learned this recently too, and I wanted to share it with the person with whom I talk about things like this so often. I didn’t think they were already on my side or that I just needed to remind them. There was no side. We’re both learning about each other’s experiences. Neither of us know everything there is to know about queerness. Nobody does.

- No, I never said that “love is love” is exclusive or that it’s problematic (that’s what the article said, tho). What I actually said was that it kind of leaves out the aromantic and asexual experience.

- Of course, not all aromantic and asexual experiences are the same, and of course aroace people could experience love and sexual attraction, or other types of intimacy and affection, but that’s not what ‘love is love’ encapsulates, because it came from marriage equality. (This article probably explains it a lot better than I can, but it’s not the article that I read a while back that made me realize why love is love is not the ideal tagline for pride month, for example. there are multiple ones, by the way.)

- No, we weren’t arguing, at any point. Not over text message, not in person. It was never an argument.

- Their response was along the lines of “of course not! i love you but i don’t want to sleep with you!” “love your friends, your family, your pets, your queer chosen family…” “being queer is not always about sex, but i can be wrong. thanks for the comment.” “i need to understand others more, i saw the post and used it, never meant to leave you out.”

- my response (to the first message): “no, love is love implies romantic or sexual love, and as you say, being queer is not always about love or sex.”

- i clarified “no worries, not feeling excluded, but i thought i would clarify.” “Its like when gay was used as an umbrella term, and lgbt was also an umbrella term… but it has evolved. and now love is love is like an umbrella expression, but it’s still not considering some experiences.” “i’m more into ‘be unapologetically yourself’.” (all of this is because that message was in a group chat, with other queer people, who might react differently. my coworker might interpret ‘love is love’ to mean ‘all kinds of love’, but someone else might interpret is as being excluding of other queer experiences and identities unrelated to sexual attraction.)

- they responded “me too. and that’s why i’m leaving it as it is.” then they mentioned that people don’t acknowledge their trans identity just because they don’t care about looking more masculine. then they asked about my mum, and about the morning meeting.

- i didn’t see the message until the next day and replied to the last two. and then i said “yeah, i know i have problems using the right pronouns and i kick myself over it every time. melting emoji”.

-they reacted to it with a thumbs up, but this was after we had already fallen out.

- i arrived at work first, they came in, we talked about mammograms (they’re about ten years older than me, by the way). they left, came back, i said: “hey you didn’t feel attacked by what i was texting you, did you? i didn’t mean to, i just thought i would clarify, because i was reading about love is love-” they interrupted me: “it’s not about sex, it’s not, love is love, you can love anyone.” me: “Okay, yes, but the thing about love is love is that-” they interrupted me again: “well, next time i’ll write ‘love is love but no meaning to exclude asexuals.” I don’t remember what I said in response, because i was already a bit disconcerted. I tried to explain that the thing about love is love is that it kind of focuses on the identities that are more about romantic and sexual attraction, and not so much about the ones that have less or nothing to do with that, like aro people, ace people, nonbinary people, trans people, etc. But they started saying something about “pedophiles were once included among the queer people”, and i was stunned. “well, pedophilia is not a sexual identity, is it? it’s a mental problem, it’s a sexual depravation.” “yeah but they wanted to lump them in there.” “well, yeah but that doesn’t mean that it was right. the same way that asexuality is still medicalized because people think that you should definitely be sexually attracted to someone, and if you aren’t it’s a problem.” “just love who you want, it doesn’t have to be about sex, why do you have to make it about sex.” “i’m not… i feel like you’re not understanding what i was trying to say, but also you’re not even trying to understand-” they interrupted me again: “v, i don’t care.” i fell silent. “what?” they stood up like they were leaving and repeated: “i don’t care about this subject.” i stared at them and said: “oh… okay… thanks.” and they left.

- at no point did either of us yell or get heated or anything. it was just… words. like we usually talk, like we have all these debates and conversations and share opinions. this time, this was the outcome.

- then they came back, and they didn’t attempt to talk to me, and obviously neither did i. nothing else happened, until later in the afternoon when the room went quiet (there’s always a lot of people coming in and out, and our boss was in her office with the door open. I was working, and suddenly i heard them talk to me. i said: “what?” they stared at me with a smile: “are you done with the cold shoulder?” in that tone that says “are you done being a little child, are your feelings still hurt, or are you having that time of the month again” i stared at them in shock. no attempt to apologize, no attempt to clarify, no attempt to talk about it. “No,” i said, and went back to work. I didn’t want to talk to them in that moment, because it felt like they still wouldn’t listen, so why waste my time…

- i know we’re very different people, and we don’t have the same personality or point of view, but this felt very out of the blue.

- UPDATE FOR TODAY: I haven’t talked to them yet, except to say ‘hi’ and ‘no, thanks’ when they offered me something. I think they left something on my desk, and then they offered me dried mango. it feels like an attempt at extending an olive branch, but… i don’t appreciate it.

I might come across as proud and stubborn, but the truth is that I feel like I’m pretty non-confrontational, sometimes to the point that I feel like a pushover. So when I establish limits, and maintain them, in situations like this, I’m not being proud, just trying to not get hurt any further. Being the bigger person always seems to fall on me, and not the other person, and i don’t think that’s fair.

I think it was pretty clear that I wasn’t trying to argue. I don’t like to argue or be angry at anyone. But the fact is that, if they don’t care about trying to clarify things, then I’m not interested either. I’m sure we’ll work things out eventually, but for once I would like that I didn’t have to put my feelings aside to prioritize someone else’s, especially when it’s obvious they know that they said something that hurt me or made me angry.

And I know it’s different for everyone, and it’s not a competition, but being aroace is particularly difficult when most people don’t even know what that is about, so when you find someone that you feel you can talk to about this particular experience, even if they don’t fully understand, the last thing you expect is for them to be so dismissive.

Anyway, I guess we’ll see what happens.

#queer #aroace #aro #ace #aroacespec #queer community

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samobservessonic · 4 months ago

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It’s the very first Amy solo story! She’s here! She’s wearing a great outfit! …Sonic’s about to ditch her again, booo!

We’re still in those early stages, where Amy was the fangirl who Sonic didn’t want hanging around. StC Amy doesn’t stay in this role forever, but that’s going to be the basis of this story

Oh hey, they’re acknowledging one of the Post Mag stories! Glad that I factored them into my reading order now, even if my placement for reading some of them could’ve been improved

Don’t worry Amy, one day you’ll basically be the next leader after Sonic. But for now, she gets ditched. I know it’s the premise of the story, but it still makes me frown about how it’s inconsistent with other stories so far, where Amy has been allowed to come along on Sonic’s adventures and has been equally capable to any of the other characters. Tails still has one foot in the “getting left behind by Sonic” door, but lately seems to be getting included. And I don’t care for that role being passed onto Amy, even if it’s for a short time

My girl really just said “Oh no, what am I going to do about these Buzzbombers?” and then loaded up her crossbow to blast them out of the sky. Respect

For a bit of added lore, she even made the crossbow bolts herself

We get a short fight scene between Amy and the Buzzbombers, then Sonic returns after the false alarm

Amy smiles at the readers, while telling the others that there was nothing left behind that she couldn’t handle and that’s the end of the story. Even if I’m meh about Amy being used in the role that Tails has just graduated from, I am glad to see the first Amy story and know that she moves onto better things. By the time I started reading, there were regular Amy & Tekno stories of them having their own adventures together and that was my introduction to Amy as a character, so it is a bit weird to shift back to a time when the team believed Amy wasn’t capable, even if I already knew her character arc started out that way in StC

#sam observes sonic #sonic the comic #stc issue 41 #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #miles tails prower #johnny lightfoot #porker lewis

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milogreer · 6 months ago

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the thing about morgan and obscura is that i want obscura to feel like the most treasured person on earth and i know he would treat them that way. because for all that morgan is guiding them through learning how to live with their sight, obscura is the one leading the dance - they choose the time/place, they set the pace, and he meets them exactly where they're comfortable. a real slow burn with them would be so rewarding and i want it so badlyyy

i've talked before about the intimacy of "time is a song" and i am not an essay writer, i am a rambler, so if this is repeating points from that post, that's life! i just wanna talk about them again, more so this time in the context of "consulting with a seer" and how morgan sets the tone for their following relationship right off the bat

You don’t have to answer any of my questions, you don’t have to ask any of your own, this meeting is what you want it to be. But—you’re the one who reached out to the Department. Not the other way around. Clearly you wanted… something. No one’s keeping you here, you can leave at any time, you can tell the Department to go kick rocks and never speak to them again. But you’re the one who asked to meet with another Seer. And now you’re saying… nothing. Is it me? The Department asked that I be the one to speak with you given that we’re the only two Seer Obscura in existence right now, but if anything about me personally is offputting, I’ll gladly ask that a different Seer be the one to help you. Getting you whatever support you’re looking for is the only goal of all this. If someone else would do that better, then that’s what I want for you.

the consistent reassurance that obscura can dip whenever they want to. like from minute one his top priority is making sure they're as comfortable as possible because he knows the anxiety that comes with being a seer obscura

To be Obscura is incredibly rare. To be a Seer Obscura is unheard of. The chance of you or I existing at all is infinitesimal. The chance of us existing at the same time is unfathomable. But we're here.

it's hard to even find the words for how this makes me feel LMFAO it's .... it's the inherent soulmateism of being the only two people alive experiencing the same thing. and the fact that it involves someone who maybe not even necessarily believes in "fate" if i'm understanding ?? like he hates the term "Known Outcome" because he doesn't believe the future is fixed and totally knowable, but he acknowledges how insane it is that they've been brought together despite the chance of it being literally unheard of. ykwim. am i talking nonsense

You and I have a unique circumstance that we face. One that no one else can really understand. [...] It’s just you and me. That said, nothing about that fact is an obligation. Being the only two Seer Obscura doesn’t mean we need to be friends, or even have a relationship at all. It’s your life to live as you choose. If you want guidance, understanding of a shared experience, maybe even friendship eventually from me… then I would like to get to know you. To help you where I can. But if you don’t want those things, if you came here for an answer, and you got it, and you want to go back to what you know, I completely understand. You don’t owe anyone anything by virtue of being who you are.

and back to the gentle insistence that nothing is expected of them - if obscura wants to turn and run, pretend this never happened and continue suppressing their sight, they can. it's entirely their choice. but he's also giving them the reassurance that they aren't alone if they don't want to be.

like. i think what really gets me about all of this is that it's so genuinely selfless of him? because imagine meeting the one person who could truly understand you on a level no one else ever will, someone who by all accounts should not even exist in the same space as you, and then completely sincerely telling them that if they have no interest in sticking around, that's okay. you know? like i imagine the majority of us would at least try convincing them to stay. but he doesn't. he puts all the cards in their hands and lets them choose how to proceed, and he doesn't hound them when they vanish for a while after this meeting. everything happens on obscura's time; there's no pushing them towards anything they don't want

i think obscura is ... fragile, perhaps? and i think they need careful hands and a patient heart and morgan could be everything they need. i want them falling asleep on his couch after a late night talking and i want him to gaze at them fondly before putting a blanket over them. i want brief hand touches when they pass him something and to hear his breath catch in his throat at the contact. i want more instances of that tense pause before "...i want to know you." i want him to make silly jokes just to make them laugh and then to get starry-eyed when it works, and when they try to cover their mouth to hide their smile, i want him to tell them they have a beautiful smile (without telling them not to hide it). i want them to almost kiss but be interrupted by someone's phone going off or otherwise interrupted so they turn away, flushed and awkward, and they don't talk about it again. i want them to kiss in the rain, soaked and shivering but not caring about anything but the way they feel on each other.

sigh. where the hell was i going with this. i don't know. i just think they have so much potential for a life changing slow burn. i cannot believe they make me feel so strongly when they've only had three audios

#got real wistful at the end there LMAO. this isn't how i expected to spend my lunch break #redacted audio #redacted asmr #morgan kyne #seer obscura #sweetheart.txt #morgan #no fancy name colors in this one i cannot be bothered

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nevernonline · 1 year ago

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✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #02 the case of the cyberbully.

synopsis: over the past ten years you've fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it's clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt, (g)-idle minnie&soyeon, oc's

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex's, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

masterlist ▸ 001. super sleuths ▸ 003: two robots fell in love.

“Y/N Mingyu’s here we gotta go.”

"I'm coming, one second."

Minnie was yelling from the front door of your shared apartment, waiting for you, who always seems to be late everywhere you go. Somehow this time you had been ready for hours, but you just felt that your feet sunk into your floor like quicksand not wanting to acknowledge the reason for hanging out with Mingyu’s crop of friends. Suddenly a small knock came on your door.

“Hey, it’s me. Minnie told me you haven’t left your room in hours. Everything okay?”

You finally removed yourself from the comfort of your room and opened the door, finding Mingyu standing on the other side.

Without words your arms laced around his body and you held him tightly.

“Yeah, it is now.”

You wish you could recall the things you wrote in your journal about meeting him for the first time in college, you both volunteered to help plan a homecoming event for the student council. His shoulders weren’t so broad as they are now, but his smile was exactly the same. Some part of you felt that you had fallen in love with him at first sight, maybe lust. That night was made better because of him, just like it is now. Some strange feeling of home filled inside of you when he’s around.

“Let’s go okay? They’re all waiting for you.”

Minnie was sitting on the step outside the front door of your apartment waiting for the two of you to finish whatever you were doing.

“Mingyu, can you drop me off at Cheol’s on the way home? He was going to come join, but he had a last minute client.”

“Of course, Princess. So by the way are any of you going to tell me why I am chauffeuring you to Wonwoo’s and why we are having a meeting.”

“Well.”

Minnie’s face turned around from the front seat to check if its a good time to give him the rundown to which you just nodded.

“So, it’s kind of interesting actually. Someone took y/n’s journal and is exposing her online, we don’t know which of our friends did it, but we have some sort of an idea of who it was. I got the idea from Seungcheol or Soyeon to ask Minghao if he could help. Luckily this person has only posted once and it was something from ten years ago that she wrote about Joshua. We’re just trying to figure out a way of knowing who it is before we ask any of them directly.”

“Wait, someone took your journal? Why the fuck does anyone care about what you write in your journal.”

“We don’t know, but your super sleuth friends do.”

Pacing around Wonwoo’s living room as you explain the situation about the journal, was starting to make you feel dizzy. For some reason you just couldn’t sit down. It’s been roughly an hour since you’d gotten here and acquainted yourself with the men you had only met before in passing. Somehow you felt like you’d known them longer, the sense of genuine concern for your now exposed life from semi-strangers was nice, but it left a bad taste in your mouth.

“Guys, they posted again.”

Vernon’s voice came from behind his laptop screen.

“Want me to read this one?”

With a nod and a couple of yesses from your new friends you finally sat down. Minnie’s hand came into yours waiting as patently as you before he started reading outloud.

“Okay, so this one is dated April 25th, no year, but I’m assuming its following the previous post in chronological order.”

“God, please read it.”

Your voice escaped your lips a little harsher than you wanted, but Vernon smiled as if he knew why.

“I’m so ready for highschool to be fucking over. Isn’t it a little cliche for the mean girls trope to be real? I have so little energy left inside of me to waste on patience. And what? I’m supposed to be nice a fuck to a girl who cyberbullies me, but pussies out saying this shit to my face?”

“God.”

Wonwoo’s voice this time, he was sitting to Minnie’s right engaged in what Vernon was reading out loud. The god wasn’t that he couldn’t believe your words, he didn’t want to believe those things happened to you.

“There’s more, should I keep going?”

“Please, yeah.”

“Okay. I really thought Mimi wanted to be my friend, but posting a semi-naked photo of me on fucking Facebook? Who fucking uses facebook? Of course she does, of course she writes love letters, uses facebook, and never leaves the house in her sweatpants. I’ve tried so fucking hard to be nice to her just for everyone else’s sake but I can’t do it anymore. Isn’t it just a little bizarre believing a girl you’ve known for less than a year over a girl you’ve known your entire life?”

You felt yourself crying now, not with sadness but with rage. A reminder of those years she dated Joshua and caused a riff between your friends, all because she was jealous.

“Y/n? Are you alright? I can stop reading if you want.”

“No, it's fine. Just finish and we can talk after, okay?”

You felt all eyes on you now, strangers to friends knowing your deepest secrets that maybe not even Minnie knew, nobody other than you and Mimi.

“The last part is simple, It just says, ‘One more month, y/n. One more month and then you get to spend your summer abroad before college, Fuck if I last a month I’ll kiss principal Ficsher on the mouth at graduation or maybe strip when I’m on my way to get my diploma, everyone’s basically seen my virginal body nude anyway. Fuck this place.”

Someone’s hand was in your face offering you a tissue, Minghao. The quietest of the three, but without words you could see his eyes were saying he felt sorry, not out of pity, just sorry that you went through something like that.

“God, I knew Joshua was a fucking asshole too. There’s only one reason he and Jeonghan could ever get along.”

You watched everyone around you thinking about what to do, waiting for your word on next moves.

“Can we just take a break for the day? Maybe just have some food or coffee, alcohol even?”

“Want to stay here at mine, y/n or go out?”

“Let’s stay here, I can order you guys something if you get some beers or wine?”

Mingyu took your phone from your hand, basically insisting you can’t pay for anything.

“No. I’m buying everything as a thank you for doing her a favor.”

A round of thank you Mingyu’s came from the group.

“Since, daddy warbucks is paying, can you buy all of us personal pizzas and our own bottles of wine? Maybe a dessert too?”

“Can’t you rob your actual boyfriend of his money, Minnie?”

“No, this is way more fun.”

After a few hours of drinking and getting to know everyone more, you decided to call it a night whispering for everyone to have sweet dreams as Vernon slept peacefully on the couch. Minnie ended up leaving early to spend time with her partner, Minghao and Wonwoo decided to stay up together the rest of the night attempting to hack into this anonymous account. And you, you left the same way you came, with Mingyu.

“Can you stay here tonight?”

You whispered before you unbuckled yourself from his front seat, without fail he pulled into a parking spot and turned his engine off.

“I’m always happy to spend more time with you, let’s go.”

✧.* bonus:

✧.* taglist: @sun-daddy-yoriichi,@hipsdofangirl @kissesfrmwonwoo, @minhui896,

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