#I am glad it has gotten notes! I am happy to share the link and glad to be directing people to the pattern designer

[tj-crochets]

I’ve gotten a bunch of new followers recently, so I figured I should introduce myself! My name is TJ and I like to make things. I started out crocheting, but over the years I’ve learned knitting, sewing, doll furniture making, sewing, and most recently embroidery. I usually link to the pattern in the notes when I post finished projects if I use someone else’s patterns, but I do frequently make my own patterns and have shared a bunch of both sewing and crochet patterns for free! If there’s ever a pattern you want a link to and you can’t find it in the notes of the post, please let me know! More info below the read more

That said, the pattern for the crochet UFO music box is available here or as a kit here, and the lemon armadillo pattern is available here. The rainbow quilt in the picture is a free pattern called the Postcards from Sweden quilt, the floral quilt is a crumb quilt with no pattern, the embroidery I made up as I went, and I designed the patterns for all the sewn plushies in that top picture.  I mostly post about things I’m making, and I’d say more than half the time what I make is plushies? Some tags I use to make it easier for my followers to blacklist non-crochet/non-sewing posts include #tj cooks, #tj bakes, #the person behind the yarn, #tj talks about work, and several others I can’t think of at the moment lol. I have some health issues that are now (thankfully) mostly under control, but I have pretty severe, fairly odd allergies and have weird salt issues and talk about that sometimes. I also play a few instruments, and very occasionally will post snippets of me playing and singing. Please let me know if there are any tags you’d suggest I use for blacklisting; I try to be sure I tag clearly enough for anything that needs to be blacklisted to be caught by the filters, but I am not infallible

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hey, just saw your ffnet post! While it's totally fair of you to not want to put your works on Ao3, I'd ask you to consider it. I've read a lot of fics, many that are years old, many that might be considered "cringey" or "bad", and many that had barely any views, and they all brought me joy. There's a special kind of grief I feel when I see that a fic has been taken down and deleted.

I do understand not wanting to upload this content as if it's what you're currently writing; Ao3 does allow you to backdate your works, so it wouldn't show up as recent but could have the original posting date. You could also consider setting up a pseud account on ao3, which allows it to be attached to your main but not explicitly your main, and have a note that this is a work that you're archiving from ffnet. It's kind of like having a sideblog on tumblr, except the links work better.

You don't need to decide right away; the "ffnet is going down" panic sweeps tumblr every few months and you likely have some time to figure out what you'd like to do. I just thought I'd reach out and share my thoughts. Your work is absolutely worth saving and sharing, in whatever capacity you're comfortable with, and I respect whatever decision you choose, but would also like to encourage you to be open to preserving your works for people to find and enjoy. You never know how much joy you could bring, even just to one person who finds your fics in the future.

Thanks for the message, I appreciate it and everything you've clarified here. Like seriously, thanks. I'm going to keep vomiting out words as I think "aloud", responding to what you've said, because you've helped me.

It's fascinating, because I am a hardcore preservationist who can't get rid of a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g to save my life. I'm similarly bummed when people delete even the most minor things online. And I have no sense of personal cringe. I'll always cherish what projects I've done.

You'd think this would be an easy decision given my values.

The challenge with me here is that publicly posting fics online is more about preserving for others as versus preserving for myself, and I'm trying to decide if I feel comfortable putting my stuff up again for other eyes in any capacity. I'm glad people have gotten joy out of my fics and it does help me think this over more, though I'll admit I've always felt out of sorts, nakedly exposed, having my writing online (even though I wrote and finished fics FOR that Sense Of Others, a sense of obligation and promise, rather than for myself). Ficwriters post about the excitement of getting notifications, whereas for me, it meant going through anxiety every time. XD (but thanks to everyone who wrote the kind words!!! they did make me happy once I got through opening the notification. your kindness is why I wrote. and I am touched when there's the rare comment from 2022 that pops through.)

I realize this frames the situation as more "me-centric" than "giving others joy-centric." I don't want to come off as dismissive of others finding joy, because that's important. The smallest things can be the brightest. My mind has just moved on so much from my fics that I think in terms of "How can I give someone joy today?" in new ways. But you are framing it in terms of people getting new joy. So. That's a good point to mull over.

I've never gotten an account on AO3, so I won't need to think about making the "sideblog"-esque account (though that's fascinating to know about!!! that's cool! you go AO3 for being awesome). But GOSH your response being thorough has been the bestest thing, because I've never known about the backdating, either. That makes it more likely I'd consider moving fics onto AO3, because even writing a "hey this is old" in front of a reupload onto a new site still puts it as "new" in the feed and that makes me uncomfortable. Just quietly shifting it to 2014 when it was written feels more fitting.

I was definitely wondering how this current sweep of "FFN going down" was different than the ramblings that have been going on for years. I've seen recent posts talking about how FFN might not have been updated for one or two years, and that's the most explicit I've gotten. I've recently seen some posts say "just in case," which is more of what I thought it'd logically be. I tend to not believe "FFN is going down" posts because they're just people hashing out what they've said for years, and I want better proof. They're right the site is falling, but yeah. But since these "ending" comments have been particularly widespread all at once, I figure, "Eh, only takes a few minutes, better safe than sorry." But it's good to know your impression of the situation is similar to mine, and that this isn't something I have to resolve anytime soon.

[thefanficmonster]

Just Another One

Sequel to: ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’

Corpse Husband x Actress!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Mention of bad past relationships, Swearing

Genre: Angst, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: They keep proving each other right in the most wrong ways possible. They each want to be guarded even if that means the other will be hurt. Maybe that’s what they want - to hurt one another because they’ve already hurt each other once before.

Requested by the lovely readers who enjoyed the previous fic ‘A Little Bit Of Honesty’. Sorry for the large time gap between the posting of the two fics but I still hope you guys will take the time to read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love you all with all my heart, Vy ❤

When you go out of your way to avoid leaving the house your options of entertainment are severely limited and you can’t blame anyone or anything but yourself for it. Today, I wouldn’t have gone out of my apartment even if I was one of those people who frequent the outdoors seeing as how the sky is trying to flood the Earth with all this nonstop rain. It does set a mood for a perfect night in but when you spend all your nights in doing the same thing over and over again, the atmosphere is practically meaningless. And so I ‘ve decided to resort to channel surfing as though I’ll find something interesting on TV that I haven’t yet seen on one of my social media timelines.

I pass several cooking channels on my journey, making a mental note of their individual numbers in case I don’t stumble across anything capable of better distracting me from my boredom and loneliness that’s slowly starting to creep in. I pass by a few movie channels showing teenage romcoms as if to celebrate the start of summer so you can imagine how quickly I moved on from those. Then come the celebrity channels which can often get a laugh out of me because of how pathetic and unbelievably ridiculous they are. And so, I stick around one where there’s a broadcast on a movie showing that’s happening tonight in LA. Oddly enough, despite my anxiety, going to a movie showing has always been on my list of things I’d want to do. This can be considered living vicariously or rubbing salt into the wound that I’ll probably never go because my anxiety and fear of being recognized is too severe. Either way I stick around to watch it.

And man do I regret it now looking at several different angels of a couple of actors entering the venue where they are to be photographed and asked questions by the mob of paparazzi that’s gathered due to the massive event. That in and of itself doesn’t sound - and really isn’t - so bad. However, it’s important to note that the actress in this duo is Y/N. Y/N L/N. My Y/N....shit, sorry, I mean my FRIEND Y/N, her arm linked with whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is who is holding an umbrella above the both of them, shielding them from the downpour of rain that is also taking place in LA apparently.

“The two were seen entering the venue earlier this evening, looking particularly cozy in each other’s presence if I do say so myself. The rain probably worked nicely in their favor.“ The first reporter says, her teasing tone of voice sending chills of anger down my spine as I glare at the screen, hands balled in fists, jaw clenched - all my body’s instinctive reactions to what is being shown to me. I know I technically have no right to behave or feel this way, in fact I should be fucking happy for Y/N and her successful career and the progress in her love life. But damn it how can I?! I was so damn close to kissing this girl! I was so fucking close to falling in another trap, tripping and landing in the embrace of another liar and user, another girl who switches partners more often than shoes. How could I’ve been so reckless to get so close to her even platonically? How did we become close enough for me to 1) show her my face; 2) start inviting her over to my apartment regularly; and how didn’t I notice the kind of messed up person she was all that time.

She was all sweet and flirting and shit a week or so ago and now she’s doing the exact same thing with him! The cameras are capturing them perfectly: every laugh, every exchange of a knowing look or nod, ever smack to his arm when he tells a joke. But what bothers me most is the many times he’s wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer. Not just for pictures, but just because the fucker felt like it! And Y/N doesn’t seem to mind it at all. 

“They have been the talk of the town recently, so while they could just be adding fuel to the fire, they could also have been caught by the flame and ‘caught feelings’ as they say. Regardless these two are a view we’d like to see more often.“ The other reporter says and that’s the final straw.

In one swift motion I turn the TV off and throw the remote across the room. It hits the wall and falls to the ground in several pieces, broken by the force of the impact. Just like I am broken by the force of the impact of these news. I don’t know which is worse: the fact that I fell for her and almost let her know it; the fact that she’s just another member of the club I don’t want anywhere near my life; or the fact that I can’t believe it.

Yeah that’s right - one foolish part of me refuses to believe that’s she’d do such a thing. I think that’s the same part which is still in awe of her so you can bet I ignore that part the majority of the time.

She is just another one. Not the one. Having been hurt before doesn’t mean she won’t hurt me or anyone else she’s gonna be with. Hurt people hurt people.

And damn has she hurt me, probably without knowing a damn thing. How selfish can you be, Y/N? How selfish can you really get? And how much am I going to allow you to hurt me?

                                                             *  *  *

“Thank you so much, Andrew. I would’ve died on the spot of anxiety if I was on my own.“ I say to my best friend who is currently sitting next to me on a park bench, in a tux, eating a cheeseburger. I too am still in my gown and am also gorging on a cheeseburger of my own.

“Don’t mention it. Us anxious people need to stick together.“ He bumps his shoulder against mine, stealing a small genuine smile from me, “Plus I couldn’t not come with you. You know how much I like a good rumor.“

I scoff, “Of course you do, but then again there was no need to add to what the media has already made a whole-ass ship out of.” I roll my eyes and take another bite. My appetite hasn’t been in its best condition so I’m only eating this under Andrew’s orders. I have no idea how people can ship us romantically, he’s the definition of an older - and very bossy - brother to me. I wish I could tell each and every single one of those girls who hate me because I’ve ‘stolen their man’ that I’d most likely be their sister in law rather than man snatcher, seeing as how my relationship with Andrew is so sibling-like.

That’s because we’re too alike, no one gets that. People play the ‘opposites attract’ car more often than I consider rational. But  then again when they see a couple like Andrew and I - who are basically the same person in different bodies - they suddenly think we’re super compatible. Trust me, we’re not. And everyone who’s been on set with us will tell you the same.

“What can I say...“ he shrugs, smirking at me, “I like the fun. I bet Becca doesn’t though.“

I can’t help but huff. Andrew is the only one I’ve ever openly expressed my frustrations with Rebecca to. He was super helpful on the subject, seeing as how he can relate - many partners of his have tried to use him, some of which even succeeded. He’s more than qualified to school me on the topic but it turned more into sharing bad experiences. One of which was that instance back at Corpse’s apartment.

“And neither does Corpse I suppose.“ As though he’s read my mind, he pokes the hurt spot, pouring salt in the wound causing me to visibly cringe as though the pain was physical - because it was, I felt it in my chest and in my gut, a sharp stab of guilt and regret. 

Why did I let it come to that? Why did I let us get so close? How did I not think of the consequences?

“I don’t care if he does or doesn’t.“ My hand automatically reaches for the pocket of the jeans I’m not even wearing in search of a cigarette. Not that I’d be able to light one even if I had them on me - Andrew would smack it out of my hand before I could even take a single puff.

He has the audacity to laugh, “You’re such a bad liar, Y/N.”

That’s all he needs to say really - that’s enough to make me feel seen and understood. Though that’s not always a good thing. I often times wish he couldn’t read me so well. Better said: I wish I didn’t let myself be so readable, you know. I’m just glad he’s the one who sees me because if it were anyone else they’d use this vulnerability of mine against me. I’m well aware that it’s a weakness, a really inconvenient one, but damn it I can’t get rid of it. I feel like I’ll be less human if I lose it. Everyone’s allowed to be vulnerable, some just are lucky enough to choose who they’ll be vulnerable around. I’m lucky enough to to have a choice, not so lucky in the people I choose to trust. Guess that’s not a luck thing, it’s just my inability to decipher whether a person is worth all the pain and torture of coming clean to them or not. So far many people have burnt me but two stick out in particular - Becca and Corpse. Corpse especially, which is the odd thing considering he hasn’t even wronged me in any way. At least not yet.

“Your phone’s vibrating.“ Andrew says, pulling me out of my overflowing head when he hands me my phone which I handed to him because of my dress’ lack of pockets.

“Thanks.“ I mutter through a sigh as I take it from him, checking the notification I’ve gotten.

My stomach drops: it’s a message from Corpse.

“Hey I saw you are in LA but we have a stream tomorrow, will you still be participating?“

Before I can reply, he sends me another message.

“I know you’re probably very busy but we get the most viewership on the streams when you’re in them so....“

I’ve probably been staring at my phone screen for longer than I thought since Andrew felt the need to make sure I was still breathing: “Hey, you ok? You look terribly pale.” I can barely hear him let alone reply. I can’t hear my own thoughts to know what to reply to him. “Y/N, you’re scaring me.”

I’m scaring myself too, Andrew. I’m scared too. I’m scared of how broken my picker has become. I almost kissed this guy! I almost entrusted all my thoughts, hopes, wishes and goals to him! What the fuck was I thinking?! Well, at least I know what he was thinking about - viewership. Likes, subs, views, publicity. The more eyes on the stream the better for him and everyone else. I genuinely want to applaud him, no one has been so direct about using me before. I was in a relationship with Becca for almost a year before I accidentally found out what she had been doing the whole time. No one’s ever smacked me in the face with this much honesty. It’s bittersweet really.

I want to laugh, I want to cry, slap myself across the face, slap him...I want to do so much, but all I can do now is sit in silence and think of how I could be so stupid.

He’s just another one, how did I not see that? How do I never see it until it’s too late? Why is one part of me still screaming: ‘He didn’t mean it like that!’

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO BELIEVE IT?

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[dracosathenaeum]

OBLIVIATE | D.M.  ABANDONED FIC OUTLINE

Hello~

I’ve had this fic for @fuckingdraco ‘s writing challenge outlined for almost a year now. Half of it is a skeleton; i have some scenes which are fully written out and others which are just first drafts and idea dumps. this is quite literally copied and pasted so good luck if you read it.

I never had the heart to completely delete it but never liked it enough to write it; so here is my 2.2k draft fo what would’ve been a series. 

If anyone decides to read it, be warned, it’s a mess. i just didnt want it to die in my notes so it’s having a life here, in my new section of my masterlist ‘fics that never saw the light of day’.

warnings: memory loss, fight scenes, gore, fighting

//

Being in a secret relationships had its ups and downs

You had to sneak around

But that just made the moments you were together so much more meaningful

You couldn’t brag about him to your friends

But the both of you were quite private people anyways, explaining your absences as studying in odd places

No one ever found out

It was just you and draco

The summer of 5th year was hard as he spent all of it in the south of France with his family

But it made coming back in 6th year so much more exciting

your fingers ached to touch him as you walked past his carriage

It was moments like this that you wish you could openly love him

But when your friends started gossiping about how Harry Potter thought he’d become a death eater, you were suddenly glad you weren’t linked to him publicly

That thought itself set a heavy weight of guilt on you

He came back in 6th year and he had changed

His kisses lost their spark

His eyes lost their light

He’d fuck you rough and hard, almost as if forgetting himself. Before making it up to you in the next instance

Slow love making that made you feel like you had just slept with an entirely different person

You followed him

You supposed you shouldn’t have

But he was skipping meals and you couldn’t exactly talk to his friends when they didn’t know you

You couldn’t confide in your friends as they wouldn’t understand

So you had no other choice

You followed him throughout the nights, and every time you would find him slipping into the room of requirement when he should’ve been slipping into bed with you

Once you had gauged what time he usually went and on what days you yourself went, 10 minutes before he was due

You watch as he fiddles around some ancient looking cupboard and you wonder why you’re jealous of a dead tree taking up dracos time

You watch as he sends things through, until finally it works for him

But its not happiness on his face nor relief

It looks like dread

He doesn’t look like he’s accomplished something, no there was no way

You watch as he takes off his tie, throwing it in the pile of robes and jumper

You watch as he rolled up the sleeves to his arms, the arms that had held you up more times than you could count

And you watch as the dark snaking lines of the dark mark are exposed on your lovers skin

His eyes whip round to see yours, instantly widening in fear

It isn’t until you try to walk towards him and he throws his hands up to stop you do you realise the shattered glass littered around you

He flicks his wand and you walk over, standing in front of him trying to figure out why

“How did you hide it from me for so long.”

“Simple charms, I was hoping you wouldn’t have to find out.”

More dialogue where he explains

“I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

Draco please

“I can’t, I had to take this on my skin because my father fucked up”

“If I, if I stop now, I cant save my mother”

“Draco please, we can find a way around this”

You kiss him

And it feels like you’ve both gone back to before 6th year

When times were simpler

When he loved you and you loved him and that was it

No other interruptions

“Oblivate”

PART 1

“Y/n?”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Draco Malfoy, we share some classes but we haven’t spoken before.”

“Oh, im sorry, of course. I’m really tired I dont usually forget peoples names I swear. I must’ve been so tired I wandered in, I apologise.”

“It’s okay, the doors over there.” You take that as his polite cue of asking you to leave

He offers a tight smile, one you remember from first year, one you remember seeing across the hall as he’s shut down by Harry Potter

Poor guy must be going through something

“Y/n”

you turn, you dont even hesitate. You dont know what it is but you feel as if you’ve known him all your life

You change and you see a gold ring dangling from a dainty gold chain. You ask your friends if they’ve seen it before

im forgetting so much these days

But you keep it on, it brings you an odd sense of comfort

You keep it tucked beneath your blouse, bringing it to you lips on occasion when youre anxious.

//

He had forgotten about his ring, the very ring you had clasped between your thumb and finger as you worked on your essay. How was he possibly supposed to get it from you

he’s well aware he’s staring but his mind is whirling

He needs that ring

“Draco, isn’t that your ring?”

He should’ve obligated himself, that might’ve been easier

“I’m sure it just looks similar.”

“Draco, we both know that’s the Malfoy famlily crest, I wondered why you stopped wearing it.”

“Wait did she steal it?”

misplaced it

She picked it up

He had to awkwardly walk over to pick it up

“That’s my ring.” You had told him all about how your friends hated him and how you had feigned indifference the entire time

He had to act the part

Youre flustered, eyes flicking between the ring and him, fingers clasping it tighter as if not wanting to let it go

He notices and his heart clenches at the sight

Remembering the night he gave it to you

*flash back*

“I’m so sorry, I must’ve picked it up by accident here.”

“Wait, how do you even know it’s his, prove it Malfoy.”

“My vaults could buy Hogwarts, why would I be stealing gold from a nobody?”

Your cheeks flare up and your friends glare at him but see his side

You struggle to unclasp it, and of course you fucking do because his stupid fucking ass charmed it so only he could take it off

he watches as you struggle with it, turning to a friend to help before you have 6 girls pulling at the very expensive chain on your neck

“For fucks sake youre going to damage it, let me.”

Your breath hitches as his surprisingly warm fingers brush your hair out of the way, fingers working quick to unclasp the necklace, the weight of it leaving your neck and you feel surprisingly empty

“Thank you.”

You watch as he goes, your fingers scratching over your neck, feeling something bubble in your throat

This was pathetic, you were so sad over something that was never yours in the first place

You spend the remainder of the time trying to figure out how you cam to be in possession of it in the first place

//

your name is written in beautiful cursive on a letter that you cannot help but love

You turn it over to see a beautiful wax seal on it, fingers trembling as you break it

The chain is yours.

d.m.

You tilt the envelope over into your hand to feel the familiar weight of the chain in your hand, clasping it around you neck in an instant

You look in the mirror but you dont recognise yourself

Your friends are surprised when you study with them

When you go back to your dorm room at a reasonable time

And you dont have a clue where it is they think you go

But how could you possibly explain to someone what you font remember

The chain is too light around you neck, its just not the same, it feels as if it’s chocking you rather than bringing you comfort

You start digging through your trunk and draws, looking for something to act as a pendant before you finally do.

Hidden at the back of one of your draws you find a little velvet box you dont remember stashing away. But then again, you dont seem to be remembering much these days.

Its a tiny little constellation of stars, charmed to sparkle and you heart wonders why you had never worn it before. It was a simple little charm but once hooked onto the necklace, you look at yourself in the mirror and finally feel as though a little part of you has returned.

PART 2 THE CONSTELLATION IS DRACO

6th and 7th years are a blur

A blur of horror

You dont really understand how life had changed so abruptly

You dont know how you end up fighting in a war at the age of just 18 but here you are

Draco stands with Hogwarts

And then his mother calls

You’ve seen him

Of course you have

You know what he is, know what his parents are

But you also know what he has done to make Hogwarts more bearable for you under the Carrows watch

The small things, diverging attention away from you and your friends

He wasn’t evil and some part of you knew that

You watch as he takes a shuddering breath and starts to walk

You watch as no one stops him

You watch as he loses more of his soul with each step towards mr no-nose

You dont know why you do it

You run

Your friends call your names, teachers joining in

They think youre joining the other side, they think youre fucked in the head, as they had since that incident in 6th year

But no, you were just missing something

you catch up to him pretty quickly, pulling him to a stop

“Ah, another to join my cause. Welcome young lady.”

“You know me. Im missing something but whenever I’m with you, whenever im holding this stupid constellation close to my heart, I feel at ease. Why”

he stares at you incredulously, and why wouldn’t he. Youre in the middle of a battlefield, Harry Potter has just been declared dead and Voldemort is less than a meter away

But you dont feel scared

And you feel stupid for not feeling scared

“It has felt like I dont even know who I am for the past 2 years, what did you do to me?”

You know everyones watching, you can hear the gasps on both sides as they think the worst of him

“I did what was necessary.” That was the first time he had spoken more than 2 words to you since he had gotten his necklace back that day in the library

“Draco, this is no time to be flirting. Come join me, bring her with you if you want.”

He tenses as voldy rests a boney hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards the other side, away from you

“If you won’t be joining us, we will use you an example of what will happen if you dont join us.”

You stare at him unfazed, fear was something you had gotten used to

Your fingers grip your wand in hand, running through all the spell harry had taught you in the da but its not enough

You are no match for voldy as he throws an unforgivable at you

You hear screams around you but all you hear is silence, as if the world had finally gone silent

//

Draco watched as the spell hit you directly in the chest. He had spent 2 years living with his actions all for it to have gone to naught in a single second

He watched as the light from his wand hits you

Before rebounding off you as if it hit a shield

There’s a flash of black and his mother is infront of him, wand out from deflecting the spell from bouncing back and hitting him

“Mother?”

“She’s important to you?”

“She gave him one of the fucking family heirlooms, either she’s important to him or he’s an idiot”

His parents were… bickering in the middle of a battle

voldy recollects himself but before he can talk neville speaks up “I have no idea what’s going on but-”

Draco drowns out the noise as he stares at you on the floor, youre covered in dust and in blood but youre alive

He hears screams as harry rolls from hatreds arms, he hears the cries from death eaters but all can see is you

“We’re switching sides now?”

“I mean he’s fairly distracted, he won’t have time to hunt us down, we owe it to our son.”

Fight scene

You remember everything

Fred Weasley teases the both of you, “we have a war to win, you can fuck later.”

He copy his lazy grin, a grin that lights you up, a grin that reminds you what’s left to fight for

You see the spell before he does

Youre in an arms reach of him but Draco cant reach you in time

You push Fred to the floor, putting yourself in the line of fire by default and draco has to watch you get hit all over again

“We need to talk about what exactly it is ive been wearing around my neck this entire time.”

“I think only my mother can answer that.”

[if you made it this far, send me an ask with the word ‘chicken’ and i’ll send you a cursed photo xx]

[multi-lefaiye]

Blorbo Blursday!

So. Alekto and Narkissos have Top Tier names. 10/10 i love them, i could vocal stim them, i could steal their names even /lh

In honor of that, have any spare content about them to talk about?

Happy Blorbo Blursday!!! :>

Thank you,,,,,,, Alekto and Narkissos are some of my favorites in the cast and I know I'm not subtle about that. I am glad you like them!!!! Especially their names <3

And YES I do have some spare content about them to talk about!! Namely, I can talk a little about some of my original plans, now that I've changed both of these characters a LOT from their OG concepts. Namely... Narkissos used to be a HUGE sack of shit. She still kind of is, but she's gotten better.

I won't go into all of the original ideas for Narkissos b/c honestly a lot of them make me 😬, but just know. Original Narkissos is not a character I would ever be interested in giving any form of redemption because I personally feel like she went too far. New Narkissos gets a redemption arc but also didn't do as Much bad in the first place as the Original Narkissos, so it's not as necessary.

I don't want to spoil All of my plans for this story, but I will share a couple of things under the cut that are from the original plans for Alekto and Narkissos and the relationship between them! Some memes, some concept art, and an excerpt or two from a Narkissos Essay I started writing and ended up abandoning <3

Okay so here's a sketch I did in like...... the Very Early Days Of CUDAAS when I'd just decided that Alekto would be a protagonist. Iwas listening to Backstabber by Kesha and it made me think of these two, so I whipped this up as fast as I could <3

Essentially the concept is that this would be the moment Alekto finds out Narkissos was the one who essentially ruined their life and caused them to go through an incredibly painful and traumatic experience, all because she was jealous </3

I'm not gonna go into too much detail 'cause I am still keeping some elements from the original storyline, but uhhh Alekto has a different reaction in the new version <3 And also I've since realized that the actual villains of this story are the gods (especially the Mountain King) so even though Narkissos Fucks Up Big Time, his motivations are different and ultimately it's a lot less about personal vengeance against Alekto.

Also this isn't what Narkissos looks like lmao, this was before I properly designed her <3

And here's a meme I made with tupperbot, based on a running joke I used to have with some friends about Hekate tormenting Narkissos via telepathy (since that is one of the only ways Hekate can communicate):

Was this planned to be an actual scene? Maybe.

Essentially Narkissos's original motivations centered a LOT around him being jealous of Alekto and Hekate and ultimately I decided I just... didn't like that. As fun as it was to joke about it, it didn't make Narkissos a very compelling character to me. I like him much better now as a complicated character struggling with the pressure and duty placed on him who eventually learns that he has worth as a person outside of what he can do for others and how good of a soldier he is for the gods <3

Anyway ok last thing I'll share is an excerpt from the Narkissos Essay I ended up abandoning, which was less of an essay and more a summary of early plans for the first book from Narkissos's POV. This is the scene I like to call "Narkissos gets her ass beat by Alekto and then goes 😳 about it"

I just realized this was very Narkissos centric whoops-

To make up for that, I will also share the first picrew I made of Alekto when I was first conceptualizing them <3 The skin tone is too light, but I still like this vibe for them otherwise. Might bring back,,, Alekto with a little stubble,,,, that's a Look

(Picrew Link: [here])

And actual last thing I will share. Misc. notes I made about what I think Alekto and Narkissos's voices sound like (I have notes for all the characters' voices, but since this is about these two <3 yeah):

[kindahoping4forever]

Watch Me Bloom: A Few Weeks Ago // Ashton Irwin

Thanks to everyone who read, shared and/or sent a kind word about A Few Months Ago. I’ve never divided up a fic like this before so it’s been both exciting and nerve-wracking, but I’m so pleased to see the response! 

The concept for this section came about early on but I revised and retooled it a lot so again, many thank yous to @cal-puddies​​ for the constant (and I mean constant) encouragement, reassurance and support that I require when writing, I know I was especially needy about this one. 😂 Also shout out to @ashtonangst​​ for the last minute notes and vote of confidence on the final revision.

No thanks to Ashton Irwin for distracting me, stealing my thunder and generally being a Gremlin TWICE IN ONE DAY. He’s the worst and I love him 😌

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash featuring the slightest hint of angst, unprotected sex within an established relationship, shower sex, mirror sex, playful spanking, wow there’s really not a graceful euphemism for tit fucking is there? Well there’s elements of that as well as oral sex performed on a male and brief cum play. But like. All in a soft, fluffy context lmao

Word Count: 3390

Watch Me Bloom Masterlist

Masterlist // Taglist // Ko-Fi

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

You exhale loudly as you shut your laptop and reach for your phone. You’d arranged to take the morning off, wanting to be with Ashton when news of his album broke online, to watch the chaos unfold, to enjoy seeing him take in all the love and excitement you knew he deserved.

You were grateful to be working from home but it’s often difficult to get away and unfortunately, you woke up to calls about a work emergency, resulting in an unavoidable Zoom meeting that dominated your morning. Ash was understanding but you couldn’t help how disappointed you were.

You scroll through the messages from him, smiling at the liberal use of exclamation points and bizarre choice of emojis used to convey his excitement about the screenshots and links he’d sent you. He’s already getting press and the fans are losing their minds at every new piece of information. You’re thrilled for him but can’t shake how defeated you feel that you weren’t able to be there to experience it all firsthand.

You consider heading downstairs to check in but you note he’s probably getting ready to post his official announcement by now. Not wanting to disturb him, you instead decide to head for the bathroom, thinking a hot shower might improve your mood. You stop to answer one last text, reassuring him that (save for the spelling errors you corrected), the draft of his post is excellent and the fans will be ecstatic to hear him confirm the news.

You step under the rainfall shower head and stand still, letting the hot water run over your body, feeling your shoulders drop and your muscles relax. You close your eyes, enjoying the chance to shut off your brain after a morning of feeling so many varied emotions.

After a few minutes, you begin your routine and you’ve just finished with your body scrub when you hear footsteps shuffling through the doorway; you turn to see Ashton observing you through the glass shower walls. “Well, hi,” he greets you, tone flirty as his gaze flickers up and down your wet, naked body.

You can’t help but feel your mood brighten at his presence. “Hi,” you match his inflection, laughing. “All posted? Officially in business?”

Even through the slight steam you can see the pride on his face. “Officially,” he beams.

“Excellent,” you smile back. You turn away momentarily to return the sprayer to its mount and chuckle when you hear the shower door. Within seconds, Ash is naked behind you, slinking his arms around your waist and fitting his face into the crook of your neck, swaying with you as he presses quick kisses into your neck. .

“Just announced your very own album and yet you’re still gonna act like finding your girlfriend in the shower is the most exciting thing to happen to you today?” You tease, leaning back against him.

He laughs as he sucks your earlobe into his mouth. “Even in the big moments, gotta take the time to appreciate the everyday ones,” he murmurs, biting gently.

You squeeze his hands as they rest on your hips. “Well, speaking of big moments, I still feel bad that I missed out on this morning, Ash,” you softly admit.

"Baby, it couldn’t be helped," he says nonchalantly, sweetly kissing your cheek before spinning you around to face him.

You’re not quite ready to meet his eyes, so you play with the chain around his neck as you choose your words. “I know, but… you’ve really made an effort with some of the stuff we talked about, like coming to bed with me or having dinner together. So I kind of feel like I’m not showing you the same courtesy - and for something so much more monumental,” you point out.

“Sweetheart, your work isn’t any less important than mine,” he frowns, brushing your wet hair off your face. “I know you wanted to be there and that means a lot, I don’t feel slighted at all, I promise.”

Ashton cups your face and kisses you sincerely. When you pull away, you rest your head on his shoulder; he pecks the top of your head and then reaches for the shampoo. You smile to yourself as you feel him begin to apply it to your hair. He gently taps you and you loudly smooch his shoulder before lifting your head and turning your back to him once again. He works the shampoo into a lather, applying just the right amount of pressure with his fingertips to give you a relaxing scalp massage.

There’s a cozy tranquility in the air as he grabs the handheld sprayer and rinses your hair out, cutely shielding your eyes when he comes close to your face, having learned from past showers gone wrong. Next he applies your conditioner and while it sets, you have him lean closer to you so you can wash his hair. It’s the longest and curliest it’s been since you’ve known him and you truly can’t get enough of it.

You can hear the smile in his voice when he breaks the silence to say, “You know, it’s pretty sexy that you’re so good at your job the whole company was ready to fall apart just because you wanted the morning off."

“Yes, that’s exactly what happened. I’m so glad you’re not threatened by my #GirlBoss nature,” you giggle. You scratch your nails over his scalp as you finish lathering his hair and the resulting groan has you absentmindedly biting your lip.

“Never! Plus it means less work for me,” he jokes, yelping as you tug on his hair in response.

You finish up with each other’s hair, chatting and joking easily. When you’re done, you burrow into his chest again and he hugs you tight against him. “You OK, love?” He asks.

“Yeah, just enjoying being close to you on your special day,” you answer softly, smiling as you trace the trail of water droplets running down his chest. “Wanna have something for us to remember it by, this is a nice start. Maybe I’ll order us something good for lunch, set up a fancy backyard picnic.” You lightly kiss along his collarbones as you think out loud.

Ash smiles, running his hands up and down your sides. “Sounds nice… we could also make a few memories in here.” He wiggles his eyebrows as his hands detour to grab your ass and pull you closer to him. “Feel like celebratin’, baby?”

You grin. “Ah, in a year where you’ve already gotten ‘new album sex’ and Jesus, how many rounds of ‘new single sex,’ you’re still playing that card?” You tease, voice wavering because his hands have wandered to your breasts to roll your nipples just the way you like. “Seems pretty greedy to me.”

He responds with a low, smug laugh in your ear, "Can't help it if I'm prolific, sweetheart.”  

“Well, I am happy to see you so frequently inspired," you tease, hand dropping to give his cock a firm squeeze as you proudly bat your eyes at your innuendo.

He smiles, pulling you in; it'd be sweet if there wasn’t such a devilish look in his eye. He gives you a lengthy and lusty kiss, hands roaming over your body, groaning as you work him to hardness. “Feeling pretty inspired to take you like this.”

He’s barely finished his sentence when he turns you around towards the shower door. You give a satisfied hum as you put your hands out to brace yourself and instinctively spread for him. “Aww, that’s my good girl,” he purrs. You shiver as he traces his fingertips all the way down your spine, starting at your neck and working his way down; once he reaches your ass, he uses both hands to cup it, squeezing and massaging.

You sigh and arch your back, jutting your hips out, wanting him to continue; a loud open palm smack lands across one of your ass cheeks and though you expected it, a half-gasp, half-moan escapes your lips.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, cock brushing against you. “Thought I was the greedy one here,” he teases, delivering a strike to your untouched cheek, followed by a pair of rough slaps to each side. Your whines reverberate through the bathroom while his mouth lavishes kisses along your shoulders, hands soothing the reddened skin of your backside.

His hands wander between your legs but you stop him, murmuring, “Don’t need it, want you enough already.”

Ash sweetly kisses behind your ear before pushing inside you at an agonizingly slow pace. When he's made it all the way in, without thinking, you breathe out, “Yes, finally,” which earns you another quick spank. You giggle, catching sight of his amusingly annoyed reflection in the mirror above the counter across from you.

He playfully nips your shoulder and thrusts into you. As he picks up speed, he notices you biting back a moan. He growls, “Uh-uh, let me hear you, baby, wanna know how good my cock feels inside you.”

You rock back against him, hoping it’ll earn you another swat and when it does, you whimper loudly. “Feels so fucking good, Ash,” you enthuse. Keeping your balance against the door with one hand, you straighten up to reach behind you and pull him in; he understands, movements slowing as he kisses you hungrily. You tangle your hand in his hair, giving it a tug and he grunts into your mouth.

One of his hands travels to briskly begin rubbing your clit; the pressure is like a jolt of electricity through your body and your hand drops from his hair back to the shower door to steady yourself. “Careful, love,” he rasps, other hand pawing at your breasts.

Nuzzled into him, you stay in that position for a few moments and he moves against you, occasionally pressing his lips to your face. You catch sight of the mirror again and become fixated on watching him as he carefully works your body: the way his hands work in perfect coordination to please you, how his hair falls in his face as he drives his cock into you, how his eyes screw shut and he fusses his lip between his teeth at the sensations of having your pussy wrapped around him.

It fascinates you to see the two of you like that, so loving but also driven by what seems to be a desperate need.  “Look at that,” you pant, stroking his forearm to get his attention. “Look how well we fit together… I didn't realize it'd look as good as it feels, babe.”

Ashton groans as he studies your reflection. “What a fuckin’ gorgeous sight we are,” he agrees, voice gravelly with lust. “You always look so unbelievable when I watch you take me, baby.”

You moan at how wrecked he sounds, how wrecked you look, the eroticism of your encounter overwhelming you. “I love seeing us like this, Ash… Fuck… Wish I could actually see it, see myself taking your cock,” you babble. “Might have to finally make that tape like we’ve talked about.”

“Fuckin’ hell, baby,” he whispers, fingers digging into your skin. You spread your arms further apart on the door and he smoothly sweeps them behind you, locking them into place with his. Restrained, with nothing to brace you, your front leans completely up against the door and you watch as your tits obscenely bounce off the glass as he speeds up, pounding into you.

You start breathing heavily and he smiles to himself, knowing he’s got you figured out. “Should I be nice and let go so you can touch yourself, baby? Or would that ruin it, since me holding you like this is what’s getting you off?” He taunts, grip on your arms tightening.

“So fuckin’ close… Ash… please… fuck, please,” you murmur, unable to take your eyes off the mirror, feeling yourself slowly tense as you watch him manhandle you, seeing yourself so debauched.

Ashton shifts your arms, pinning them back with just one of his, leaving his other free to roam down the front of your body. “Because you said ‘please’,” he smirks, rubbing fast around your clit. You whimper in relief and your head starts to drop down but he nudges it with his own. “Nah, baby, watch. Want you to see how beautiful you are when you cum for me.”

“Ashhhhh… babyyyyy… fuuuucck…” Your words come out in staccato sighs as you bounce between his body and the glass; his fingers are steady on your clit and his voice lowly encourages you, telling you how amazing you are, how much he wants to feel you cum. He sounds like he needs this as much as you do. You zone out a little as you pulse around him, watching yourself orgasm through the glass, and as always, it’s his soothing whispers of “so pretty, baby” that bring you back to earth.

He gently sets your arms back on the door, pressing soft kisses over your shoulders as you come down. His hips have completely stilled, waiting to see how much more you’re capable of handling. “You good, love?” He sweetly asks, studying your face in the mirror.

"I'm so glad I had to work today," you joke breathlessly. He snorts and bites at your neck.

You feel spent but a thought popped into your head while watching your reflection and you want to explore. “Up for trying something?” You eagerly ask.

“Of course,” he agrees curiously. You push off the door, allowing him to slip out of you and you turn towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I know I gave you shit earlier but it really does make me happy that this is how you like to celebrate,” you start, pecking along his neck and jaw, landing at his lips, which you kiss softly. “And I just want you to know I really am so so proud of you.”

Ash’s arms wrap around your waist and he smiles brightly. “I know, baby. And I’m so grateful to have you with me. Every step of the way, you were there to take care of me.”

You kiss him harder, filthier and needier than you did before and his resulting groan tells you he’s caught off guard. You feel him shiver under your touch as you ghost over his nipples before stopping at his new rib tattoo on your way to his abs and then finally gripping his cock.

“Well, I am absolutely going to take care of you right now,” you wink, dropping to your knees in front of him. He laughs at your questionable joke but quickly sucks in a sharp breath when you begin placing wet kisses along his shaft, whimpering as you taste yourself on him. You trace your tongue along the underside of his cock and circle the head for a bit before you wrap your lips around it and gently apply suction. You hear him huff a few times as you keep your attention focused there instead of taking him further into your mouth and you smile at his impatience.

He catches your look and shoots one right back at you. “Thought you were gonna take care of me, not torture me,” he smiles.

You let him drop from your lips and firmly tug as you look up, grinning. “I have a feeling when you're cumming all over me, you'll think it was worth the wait.”

He’s only able to gasp in response because as soon as the last word of your sentence leaves your mouth, you’re taking him as far down as you can. His hands are instantly in your hair, not quite pushing you down but gently applying pressure as you stay unmoving for a beat, holding him in your mouth, enjoying the heavy feeling of his cock on your tongue. You softly move your head back and forth, easing him further towards the back of your throat before you let yourself gag around him and pull off. You repeat this process a few more times, allowing more and more spit to fall from your mouth each time; knowing he loves when you get messy with it.

“Fuck, baby, always so fuckin’ good on your knees for me, always know just what I need” Ashton rambles, provoked at the sight of you pulling back to stroke him with a long, thick string of spit still connecting your mouth to his cock. You beam at his praise while he runs his hand over your face, somehow both tenderly and aggressively. “Gonna let me cum all over those gorgeous tits?”

You lean into his touch, mouthing at his hand a little. He takes the bait like you knew he would and pushes his thumb into your mouth, watching closely as you close your lips around it, swirling and sucking before scraping your teeth on it as he pulls it out.

"Is that what you want?" You ask, looking up at him with big eyes as you sit up higher on your knees. "I can also do you one better." You bite your lip in concentration as you guide him between your breasts, using your hands to trap his cock against your body and enclose him.

You've never heard anything quite like the sound he makes when you begin rubbing your tits up and down his shaft, a sound so throaty and new it makes you clench. You continue to massage his length against your breasts, your soft skin and the novelty of the act working in tandem to get him off.

You make eye contact as you spit on his cock and you feel it twitch on your chest as he moans. This fantasy has come up before, usually via sexting while he’s on tour but neither one of you had tried to follow through until now and judging by the noises he’s making, it’s living up to the expectation. You know he’s going to go wild when you breathily encourage, "Come on, babe, I think you should fuck 'em."

Ashton doesn't need to be told twice and immediately starts thrusting vigorously. He practically growls when you flick your tongue out to catch his tip on an upstroke, so you keep doing it.

"Jesus, baaaaby…" he groans, sounding positively undone, his pace unrelenting as he ruts against you. "So hot… fuck, so good…"

You grin at his incoherence, knowing he must be close. "Thought a special day deserved a special treat," you boast. "Ready to cum for me, babe?"

Ash acknowledges your words with a grunt, pulling away from your chest and putting his cock in your mouth again. You bob your head with intent to finish him and you know he's desperate when he gets a bit aggressive, pushing you to take him further down than last time. You've had him in your throat for less than a minute before he starts breathing heavy and pulls out just in time to shoot streams of cum all over your chest.

"Yes, baby… fuuuuuck… so fuckin’ good to me," he groans rhythmically in time with each spurt. You place the head of his cock on your tongue and milk out the remaining drops, revelling in his satisfied sounds.

He looks in adoration and disbelief at you, covered in his cum, clearly pleased with your work. He helps you off your knees and moves to kiss you when you press a finger to his lips, holding him off while you drag your other hand through the mess on your tits, delivering the substance to your mouth.

"God, I love you, baby," he sighs exhaustedly, kissing you passionately, groaning into your mouth as he tastes himself on your tongue. “This is so much more memorable than you sitting on the couch reading tweets with me.”

You cackle, pulling away to clean yourself off under the spray. "Well, I love you too," you coo. “Always happy to celebrate my man.”

Ashton grins and cradles you against him. “Good to know… I’ve got some ideas for how we can celebrate the second single coming out next week.”

You giggle and turn, wanting to see his face when you reply, “You plan that and I’ll take care of the celebration for your video premiere tonight?"

He pulls you closer and smirks, “Deal.”

————-

@mymindwide​​​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​​ @pxrxmoore​​​​ @loveroflrh​​​​ @ghostofmashton​​​​ @sexgodashton​​​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​​​​​  

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@likehuhdude​​​  @curlycalums​​​  @cxddlyash​​​  @reddesert-healourblues​

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X15

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Wow! A lot happened in this episode. It was billed as Jackson’s goodbye episode, but it turned out to be so much more than that. Meredith got discharged and was reunited with her kids, Tom decided to move to Boston to work for Jackson, and we got the show’s first Indigenous doctor and patient storyline! I honestly think Jackson’s farewell was really well done! While it’s true he could do the work he wants to do just as easily from Seattle everything else about his exit makes sense to me. He’s tired of sitting on the sidelines and he wants to make real change where he can.

I loved his conversation with Meredith and how he was the one to sneak her out. I loved Meredith's voice over for this episode and how it followed Jackson's actions and the flashback montage set to music. I thought it was fitting. I would have liked him to have said goodbye to Ben because they were the Plastics Posse until he left to become a firefighter but apart from that I was happy with it. The character has come such a long way during his run on the show and I feel like this episode reflected that.

The editing was really well done too. Especially the shot of him overlooking the lobby. That transition was seamless. I loved his goodbye scene with Meredith. It made me so emotional. I love that Meredith tried to lighten the mood by making a joke about how she won because she's the last one standing. That scene when she hugged the pillow after he left because she misses him and everyone else really got me. I also really liked the conversation he had with Bailey and Richard.

I'm glad he said a proper goodbye to Jo although I didn't find it super emotional. In addition to Ben, I would also like to have seen a goodbye with Maggie. I'm surprised they didn't do that. Maggie was so focused on Meredith's recovery that it's not clear if she even knows that Jackson is moving to Boston. They also could have done a big emotional scene with Catherine. On a lighter note, I am so happy that Meredith is doing better for real this time and has been discharged! I've been waiting for this since the mid-season point.

I loved the scene where she was reunited with her kids and Amelia was panicking about the state of the house and Meredith told her it was fine and that was just how she liked it. Meredith getting Jackson to sneak her out of the hospital felt very in character to me. As her voice over says Meredith isn't one for tradition or big hullabaloos which is why I think the others tried to keep it a secret. I'm not surprised that she ducked out early. While I get why the other characters wanted to do a big send off for her, I feel like they should know by now that's not her style.  

I loved the scene where Amelia and Link found out Meredith might be coming home, and they hugged and then Link said he had to go to work and Amelia started crying and then asked why he was still there. Link was so confused and then Amelia told him she’d be crying off and on like that all day to get her emotions out and that she’d be fine and he needed to go to work. That is so Amelia! But in a good way. Post-tumour and with her addiction under control even in a pandemic Amelia is now able to express her emotions in a healthy way so she doesn’t relapse or spin out of control. That is such huge growth for her. I loved the scene at the end with her and Meredith.

The smile that they share. The look between them. You could see early seasons Private Practice Amelia in that look but also mature and stable new Amelia. I loved that Amelia was all worried about the state of the house and Meredith was fine with it being a mess because as a working Mom she knows what it’s like and all she wanted was to be at home with her kids in her messy house.

At the end of the episode we find out that Tom’s near death experience with COVID has caused him to re-evaluate his life. He feels lucky to have lived to have been spared and he wants to help Jackson make real change in Boston. On the one hand I was surprised by Tom’s exit, but on the other hand I wasn’t. I love Tom and will truly miss his character, but ever since the affair came out and he and Teddy split and she started working on trying to repair her relationship with Owen, Tom hasn't had a lot to do.

I'm sad they didn't do more with him because he's such a great and complex character and I know some people had speculated they might pair him up with Mama Ortiz which could have been interesting. I'm sad we didn't get to see him say goodbye to Amelia, Link, Teddy, Catherine, or Meredith. Tom and Amelia are old friends, he trained her, he took out her brain tumour, and she rushed to the hospital when she heard he had been admitted for COVID-19.

Tom and Link seemed to be getting along as of late and Tom was ready to be a father to Teddy's baby before she got back together with Owen. He found her the perfect apartment and he built a crib for a child that wasn’t biologically his that he was so excited to meet and be a Dad to. All this after his own son died and his marriage collapsed as a result. He treated her like gold and she’s done nothing but treat him horribly for no reason. I don't think I’ll ever forgive Teddy for that.

Catherine and Tom are also old friends that go back even farther. She appointed him as Chief Medical Officer of the Fox Foundation. She told him about DeLuca’s death and took him to the Memorial. When Richard was sick, she told him she wanted him to take over the Foundation in her absence. Tom and Meredith had such an emotional scene earlier this season and he's been praying for her every day. Does she know that? Does Meredith know that Tom has been praying for her and worrying about her? I was expecting a follow up scene to that, so I hope we get one.

I found the patient storyline that Tom, Levi, and Indigenous intern James Chee had really moving. Grey's has never had an Indigenous patient or doctor on the show before and while the dialogue did feel heavy handed at times, they brought some really important issues to light and were trying to make up for lost time so that’s understandable.  

Robert I. Mesa who plays Dr. Chee is Navajo Soboba and the patients that they treat at Coast Salish whose traditional territory encompasses the province of British Columbia, Canada and the states of Washington and Oregon in the United States. It’s really great to see an Indigenous actor bring stories about Indigenous characters to life in a realistic way for the same reason that it’s important to see black, brown, Asian, latinx, and LGBTQ+ actors bring stories about characters like themselves to life. It brings authenticity and ensures sure that white straight cisgender people aren’t taking roles away from people within those communities.

When I found out through Twitter that the show had cast its first Indigenous doctor, I was very excited. I work for an Indigenous organization currently and so Indigenous representation is an issue that is very near and dear to my heart. The first thing that came to mind for me was the Coast Salish artwork you see in the background of so many scenes of the show. From the show’s earliest seasons, you can see beautiful art pieces in red, blue, and black depicting fish, birds, and other animals on the walls of the hospital and in people’s offices.

Yet it is never addressed or mentioned that that is Coast Salish artwork. In order for it to be there someone from the art department must have travelled to Seattle to buy some local artwork to put up around the hospital. While that’s great for making the hospital look authentic to the area by not mentioning its origins or the fact that Indigenous people exist for 16 seasons does all Indigenous people a disservice. Indigenous people are not stereotypes or tokens or simply makers of pretty pictures.

Every group has their own culture, artwork, language, and traditions. I’m glad that Grey’s Anatomy is finally acknowledging the existence of Indigenous Americans and the fact that Indigenous people exist and continue to exist despite repeated ruthless attempts to murder and assimilate them. This is a huge problem in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and other nations. While in the last few years Indigenous issues have gotten greater coverage in Canadian media there isn’t as much media coverage of Indigenous issues in the United States.

I love that Tom and Levi treated both the pregnant woman and her grandfather with respect and dignity and didn't dismiss their concerns or mock their traditions. I love that Tom actually had some knowledge of smudging ceremonies and that he referred to Dr. Chee respectfully when needed and allowed him to perform a smudging ceremony for the grandfather. When the pregnant patient’s husband thanks them and says that in the past they haven’t had great experiences in big hospitals that is unfortunately a sad reality for many.

Like other people of people and other marginalized and oppressed groups the concerns of Indigenous patients are often not taken seriously, and they often encounter racism that leads to poorer treatment and death. When the pregnant patient talks about how their centres are under resourced and that they were sent body bags instead of medical supplies that is a real thing. The Trump Administration actually did that in the States and the Harper Government here in Canada did that during the H1N1 Epidemic.

Thankfully, here in Canada the COVID-19 Pandemic response of the Trudeau Government has been worlds better. No sending of body bags and instead medical supplies and lots of relief money has been given to Indigenous organizations like mine to help real people. Indigenous Canadians have also been given priority status for vaccinations and as a result people are alive today that would have died previously. Now that’s not to say things are perfect here. There are still so many issues that need to be addressed including police violence, discrimination within the justice system, and the rate of missing and murdered Indigenous women. But at least some progress is being made.

The fact that they wrote Tom off reminded of an old adage about Grey’s Anatomy that I heard someone talking about at the start of this season which is that if there isn’t anyone significant for a character to date and you’re not an original character your days on the show are numbered. The fact that they wrote Tom off after putting Teddy and Owen back together makes me even more sure that Meredith and Hayes are going to end up together and that their relationship will be a key plot point of Season 18.

If that wasn’t the plan, I don’t think Hayes would still be there. There have been episodes this season where he has been very prominent, episodes where he’s been completely absent, and episodes like this one where he has a few short scenes. He wouldn’t still be there hanging around in the background if the plan wasn’t to set him up with Meredith. To me the only explanation that makes sense is that they are going to put Meredith and Hayes together hopefully before Season 17 ends.

Side note, I bet all of the actors who passed on being Meredith’s love interest or backed out for a movie or tv role on a newer show probably feel real dumb right now. Grey’s is about to go into its 18th season and Richard Flood who plays Hayes is getting paid mad bank whether he’s prominently in the episode or not! Plus, he slays that role. While the path they took to get here was bumpy I’m so glad that we got Hayes as a character and we’ve gotten to see his relationship with Meredith develop.

I would have loved to see more of Hayes this episode. I was expecting a scene in which he visited Meredith and I was a bit disappointed we didn’t get that. I get that the focus of the episode was on Jackson’s departure, Meredith being discharged, and Tom’s epiphany, but it would have been nice to see that. The scenes we did get were great! I love his dry sense of humour and his comments about Jo’s terrible handwriting.

My favourite moment of the episode was hands down when Hayes came to clap out Meredith with everyone else and then Perez came out and they realized that she had snuck out early and Hayes laughed and said, "Nice one Grey, Brillant!" And then he wished everyone a good night and headed out. If Meredith isn't there, he's out. He’s not even trying to hide his feelings for Meredith anymore. It’s an open secret that he likes her and is clearly smitten. Hell, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if the janitors have a group chat about it.

I love that he laughed about it like it was some big cosmic joke they were both in on. He knows her so well. Everyone else was confused and her sisters were worried when they didn’t hear from her, but Hayes wasn’t worried because he knew she’d snuck out the back and that someone must have helped her. Speaking of romance, I’m guessing that next season they will bring in a new Head of Plastic Surgery for Jo to date. I feel like they will have more luck finding someone than they did when they tried to hire a new love interest for Meredith over the last few years because right now work is scarce.  

Also, in the romance department Teddy and Owen are back together. I'm happy for them, but other than that I don't really have any strong feelings about it. I am happy that they seem to be good and that the fighting and long-drawn-out drama is over. I've never been a ride or die Teddy and Owen shipper, so I don't feel an emotional rush seeing them back together. I loved Tom and Teddy together so I'm sorry that ended especially since Teddy and Owen have always been such a mess.

I think that they should have spent less time fighting and more time rebuilding their friendship before getting back together. We spent the first half of the season watching them fight non-stop and Owen made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Teddy ever again. Teddy treated Tom like crap while trying to win Owen back who clearly didn’t want her. While I’m glad they have reconciled, and the drama appears to be over I wish they had spent less time on the fighting and more time on exploring Teddy’s trauma and having them rebuild their friendship if that was the route they were going to go.

We also get more details about Maggie and Winston’s wedding this episode. I posited on Twitter a few days ago that I thought Maggie might ask both her dads Bill and Richard to walk her down the aisle as she'd want to include both of them in the ceremony. I think having Bill walk her down the aisle and Richard officiate is lovely. It reminds me of when Bailey stepped up to officiate Callie and Arizona's wedding.

I’d like to see more interactions between Meredith and Winston and Meredith and Link in the future as both men have become a part of the family largely while Meredith was sick so it would be great to see them get to know each other and bond. I really loved the scene between Winston, Link, and Owen where Winston was trying to figure out if Teddy and Owen were back together and Winston and Owen were teasing Link about the Sister House. It’s nice to see them all bond. It would be even better if they would all have more scenes with Hayes and for them to bond as well. I hope to see more of that next season.

I get why Link wants to get out of the Sister House, but I think he was a bit unrealistic about the situation. Meredith just got discharged. Amelia and Maggie aren’t going to want to leave her side until she tells them she’s ready and it’s okay for them to go and take a step back. I foresee them going with a hybrid approach next season where Maggie and Winston move to his place following the wedding and Link, Amelia, and Scout move to Link's place, but they still spend time at Meredith's house frequently. I imagine after being away from her kids for so long at some point Meredith is going to want her house back and to spend time alone with her kids.

I'm interested to see Meredith talk about her time on the beach in the upcoming episodes. Richard and Bailey were struggling to figure out how to tell her about DeLuca’s death but we the audience knew that Meredith already knew he had died. When she coded previously, and Ellis Grey passed away the first words out of her mouth were about her mother being dead. But here we see something different. When Meredith wakes up this season the first words out of her mouth are about how much she and Derek love Zola. She uses the word ‘we’ so the audience knows what she’s talking about, but the characters don’t.

It appears that at least a week has passed since the previous episode possibly two and we learn that Meredith hasn’t brought up her time on the beach or her visits from the dead to anyone. I think that she’s keeping that to herself for a few reasons. She didn’t want to leave the beach and telling that to the people who just spend the past three months trying desperately to save her life would probably come across as suicidal and upsetting. The conversations between her and Derek were personal and private, and she may not be ready to share them just yet.

Her conversations with George, Lexie, and Mark were also pretty personal so she might not be ready to talk about that either. In this episode we see her tell Bailey and Richard that DeLuca is okay because he’s with his mother. The scene cuts away, so we don’t know what else she tells them. Hopefully we’ll find out next week. My guess is that the first person she’ll talk to about the beach in the following episodes will be Hayes because he will understand her desire to stay because of how he lost his wife.

He won’t see her desire to stay on the beach as suicidal or crazy because he would probably think about doing the same thing if given the opportunity. We saw Meredith be really vulnerable with Hayes when she first got sick about her fears of dying and falling asleep. They’ve talked at length about their spouses and their past relationships in a way she hasn’t with other characters. I feel like he is the perfect person to talk to about what happened on the beach because he won’t judge Meredith or take her desire to stay personally.

They’ve already established that Hayes is a supportive and understanding person who is happy to sit there and listen to Meredith talk about her experience of dating after death and past relationships and so I think he’s someone Meredith can open to about what it was like to see Derek again, what it was like to realize her ex-boyfriend was dying, what is what like to get closure with George, and gain wisdom from Lexie and Mark. I’m hoping that will happen in next week’s episode and if not in the finale.

We saw Helm having a tough time this episode. I think Helm moving in with Levi and Jo is a good idea. I think it will give Helm the support she needs and I'm glad Levi is there for her. We haven't seen Jo and Helm interact much so far, so I'm interested to see how Jo is going to feel about her moving in. Also, where is Helm going to sleep? Jo and Levi live in a one room loft where Jo sleeps in a large bed and Levi sleeps on the couch. I would have liked to have seen more scenes along the way building up to this as Levi and Helm haven't had a scene all season and now right at the end you see him trying to help her. I also really miss Parker as a character. I wish they brought him back as well as Helm.

Something I didn’t like was that they seem to be focusing on DeLuca, his death, and his absence more than they should. I get that the writers and people behind the scenes liked the actor who played him, but the character himself was pretty widely detested by the other characters for seasons 15 and 16 so having them talk about him like he was such a great guy that everyone was super close to and that they all miss feels hollow to me and kind of annoying.

DeLuca and Meredith were not that close. They weren’t friends and rarely had a scene together prior to Season 15. They stopped talking entirely after he broke up with her in Season 16 and they weren’t friends when he died. So, talking about how he would have been so happy for her and one of the first people to cheer her on is strange. Also, I felt like Jo’s comments to Carina were out of place. I get that when someone dies its customary to say nice things about them to their family and Carina is mentoring Jo and she’s grateful for that, but DeLuca was god awful to her.

They become really good friends after Alex attacked him but then they stopped being friends when she got back together with Alex. They stopped having scenes together after that until he took an interest in Meredith at which time Jo and Alex both made it abundantly clear to his face and behind his back that they disliked him, and they hated the idea of him and Meredith together. All he did was antagonize both of them during seasons 15 and 16 for absolutely no reason and then after Alex left DeLuca walked up to Jo at the Emerald City Bar touched her without her consent and attempted to kiss her and get her to sleep with him to the point that she wound up throwing a drink in his face to get him to leave her alone.

He then told the bartender she was crazy after she told him to get some help. That’s sexual assault and attempted rape and DeLuca should have gone to jail for what he did. Instead we never see it addressed, he never apologizes, and they don’t share a single together after that. My hope is that they will finally moving on from talking about DeLuca and his absence next season. It’s getting a bit ridiculous at this point and it’s time to move on.

Onto next week’s promo! We don’t get a lot of information from this one. We see Bailey talking about how she’s losing surgeons left, right, and centre and she can’t afford to lose anymore and Meredith talking about how she can’t operate if she can’t stand on her feet. She’s worried she might never get back to operating, but this is Grey’s Anatomy so we know she will. Link talks to Amelia about wanting more children which considering that Scout is only a few months old and they couldn’t wait to get out of the house full of children just last week is a terrible idea. Link finally calls Jo on the fact that she clearly wants to adopt Luna who promptly codes! Yikes!

Until next time!

[darling-i-read-it]

Futamono

2x06

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems, jail, sorta cheating? If not i’m walking a fine line 

Author’s Note: This episode! It hit different. In particular there are a few scenes that I am very excited for you to read so reactions are greatly GREATLY appreciated because I love love reading them as they come. I really hope you enjoy! not gonna lie its hard to write something that might hurt will so i might just protect him through and through lol 

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 

Official Episode Summary : A city councilman's body is found intertwined with a tree, Jack crashes Hannibal's dinner party to investigate Will's suspicions, and a revelation shocks everyone

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll​ @ericacactus​ @vlightning95​

(not my gif)

The Baltimore State Hospital was colder than usual. You felt it as you walked down the hallway to where Will was. You felt odd. Like your stomach was in knots and you never had that with Will. He never gave you that feeling.

As you stopped in front of the cell he turned around. He sat down, like he would usually when you were there. He kept note that you did not sit down on your white line, nor did you approach the bars. You weren’t scared of him, he knew you weren’t. But you didn’t look exactly happy with him either.

“Hi,” Will said, breaking a crackling loud silence.

“Hannibal Lecter is alive. In case you were wondering.”

“I was not,” he told you. You let out an annoyed sigh and looked down at the ground. You had thought about how to approach this with Will but every rehearsed conversation felt wrong. This didn't feel exactly right either. 

“Will,” you whispered and met his eyes. He stared at you and you stared at him. You shared a few words with your eyes. 

“Chilton will have a hard time figuring out this conversation,” he muttered and you cracked a small smile. 

“You can’t send a man to kill Hannibal even if you think that he is the Ripper.” He raised a betrayed eyebrow. 

“I didn’t send anyone to kill Hannibal. And are you saying he isn’t the Ripper? Did his kiss persuade you that much?” 

You imagined Chilton hearing that over the speaker. Probably got popcorn to accompany this conversation for the dramatic guy he was.

“I still think he is.”

“And you have no problem with that?”

“Of course I have the problem with murder,” you breathed. You sat down on the white line finally and he was happy to see you at his eye level again. You stared at each other hard and he knew you knew that he sent someone to kill Hannibal. There was no need to say it. “This isn’t going to help you in the eyes of everyone,” you whispered.

“I’m not scared anymore,” he admitted. You mulled that over for a minute.

“I’m glad. I still don’t condone murder on either side.” Will smirked a bit, laughing. 

“Actions speak better than words.”

“Jacks gonna come speak to you about this.”

“I can handle myself.”

“Oh I have no doubt. I’m just giving you a girlfriend worthy heads up so you could plan.” 

-

You walked into Hannibal’s house with the spare key he had given you. You put your bag down quietly as you heard the sound of piano through the air. It calmed you immediately. Your emotional turmoil had been something else.

There was much confusion in your brain but really you were mostly worried about both of the men in your life while also being more worried about your dogs. You had to walk them tonight but you decided to stop by Hannibal’s to see how he was doing. 

You walked into the main room and Hannibal continued to play. You listened quietly, leaning against the wall. Eventually he stopped to put something else in his composition. You walked up to him and put your hands on his sweater clad shoulders. He smiled, not having to turn around to know it was you.

“That was beautiful,” you whispered. You wrapped your arms around his neck from behind and looked over the composition like you understood it. 

“It’s proving to be more difficult than I was hoping,” he said honestly. He grabbed your hand and pulled you down to sit beside him. You did so.

“How are you feeling?” you asked quietly. He shrugged, writing in another note before turning to you. 

“I feel as though that noose were still around my neck. It’s strange to have nightmares. Never used to,” he whispered. You nodded solemnly. You understood that better than most. 

“You’re always welcome to call the house if you need something,” you said quietly and honestly. Your nightmares hadn’t gotten much better but you were trying to pull through at the house by yourself. Still, knowing Hannibal was there had made you feel better.

“Thank you,” he whispered back to you. You looked at the piano and then back at Hannibal. He stared at you. “I can no longer work with Jack. Or Will.” You were surprised to hear that. Then again, you should have expected it. Almost dying can do that to a person.

“What does that mean?” you whispered.

“I won’t be consulting on any cases with Jack. You’re welcome to continue to work for me and be my…” he paused, “friend but I can no longer assume that I can help Will. I can’t trust him. He’s in a dark place where the shadows move. It’s not safe to stand with him anymore.” 

You looked away from Hannibal and at the wall in front of you as you processed what you were being told. 

“I hope you understand that I care about you Hannibal,” you whispered, turning to him. “But I will continue to see Will.” He nodded.

“I understand.” You weren’t sure where you stood with him then. 

“Play it again,” you told him, voice barely audible. 

He put his hands on the keys and you imagined those hands taking a life. 

It wasn’t much of a stretch.

-

Alana walked beside you as you walked the dogs. It was nice to be around them. It was almost like Will was with you at the same time. You were walking through the barren land around the house and she accompanied you upon your request. 

“My head is full of conspiracies. There are too many versions of events. He said. She said. He said. He said. She said. It’s maddening,” Alana told you, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. “The one thing I have clarity on is, Will tried to kill Hannibal.” 

You glanced at her.

“He believes that’s the only way to catch the Ripper.” 

“And you think the same thing? I notice how you’ve gotten closer with Hannibal.” You shrugged, still sore from the last conversation you had with the man.

“Jealous?” you teased. 

“You’re avoiding the question,” she whispered. “And no.”

“I think that Hannibal is more capable of senseless murder than Will. They’re both capable of murder. Will has never lied to me.” You paused. “He only lies to me when he knows I can see through him.” You turned to Alana and stopped walking. She stared back at you. “And you? Where do you stand?” 

“I haven’t given up on Will. Just re-evaluating who I think he’s become.” You glanced at her. 

“Will has always been this way. He just didn’t like to show it.” 

-

“I feel like I’ve been watching our friendship on a split screen. The friendship I perceived on one side and the truth on the other,” Hannibal said. Will sat in his cage and stared at his former therapist. They stared at each other with a sense of competitiveness and a mix of entertainment.

“It’s a terrible feeling isn’t it?” Will asked, numbly but with a stab at Hannibal.

“You’ve been lying to me, Will.” 

“I don’t have a gauge for reality that works well enough to know if I’ve been lying or not,” Will said simply. Hannibal had a sense Will had him right where he wanted him. It was impressive. 

“You understand the reality of Beverly Katz’s death. You understand your role in that.”

“What was my role?”

“Beverly died at your behest. You’re as angry with yourself as you are with whoever murdered her.”  Will didn’t show much emotion but spite.

“Actually, I’m not. I’m singularly angry at whoever murdered her.”

“You tried to kill me, Will. It’s hard not to take that personally. However, if I were Beverly’s murderer, I’d applaud your effort,” Hannibal said. They shared a look.

“I’m no more guilty of what you’ve accused me of than you are of what I have accused you of,” he stated simply.

“Jack Crawford, Alana Bloom and Y/N Y/L/N believe you are responsible,” Hannibal stated. 

“Or Y/N Graham as the people say,” Will said simply. Hannibal fought his amusing anger. “And where does responsibility begin and end, Dr. Lecter? With a final act or the events that led to it?” Will asked. 

“I don’t expect you to feel self-loathing or regret or shame. You knew what you were doing and you made your own decisions. Decisions that were under your control.” Will scoffed. 

“You think I’m in control?” Will asked. “Where does Y/N stand with you Dr. Lecter?” Will stared hard. “Are you still actively pursuing her? Are you pursuing me? Or perhaps the fact that she’s still dating the man who allegedly tried to have you murdered is putting a dent in your plans.” Hannibal put his hand on his arm, holding it. The two men stared at each other, not as men competing for a woman's love but as men who were toying with the idea that there was a connection they weren’t going to sever. Hannibal hoped to cut that link despite the fact he knew it wouldn’t work.

“We were friends before I met you and I imagine we’ll be friends after we part ways.” Will smiled in arrogance of the knowledge you would likely do anything for him. 

“Well I’ll be curious to see how that works out for you. She’ll tell me at her weekly visits.” Hannibal raised his chin and hardened his look.

“Good-bye Will.” 

Will was not amused.

As Hannibal walked to his car he opened his phone. He dialed the top number on his phone. 

“Hello,” you said, sounding distracted. “Sorry, feeding the dogs.” 

“I’m throwing a dinner party tonight. You’re attending I hope.” You hummed a yes.

“Of course.” Hannibal smiled. 

“I’m glad.” 

-

Hannibal put his hand on your hair and fixed a piece that was out of place. You both held champagne glasses in your hands and were talking to some of his colleagues. You had been complimented on your look seven times already, twice by Hannibal.

You had yet to touch the food. You believed Will there.

Jack and Chilton spoke, watching the two of you chat. 

“Prosciutto roses. Heart tartare. Beed roulade. Needless to say, I won’t be eating the food,” Chilton said. 

“Dr. Chilton,” Jack chastised. 

“Hannibal the Cannibal That’s what they’ll call him you know. And look at Mrs. Graham. Curiously enough I have no idea what her angle is.” Jack nodded.

“She’s always been a bit confusing.” 

You laughed at something a guest was saying as Hannibal laughed about it. You were barely listening.

“I didn’t know you had a lady friend Hannibal. Are you Mrs. Lecter?” one of the ladies said. You paused which made Hannibal laugh. You hadn’t been prepared for that.

“No, I’m...we aren’t together,” you said simply although your voice didn’t sound very convincing. Jack grabbed your arm and you turned to him, surprised. “Please excuse me.” 

He pulled you aside.

“Have you eaten something?” he asked. You shook your head.

“Amazing you think I don’t listen to my own boyfriend.” You stared at Chilton and shook your head. “No, I have not.” 

“I’m...I can’t believe I’m telling you this... I’m listening to Will,” he said. Your mouth flew open.

“Wait a second, you can listen? You can listen to people?” you asked sarcastically. Jack gave you a look.

“I’m telling you, just in case.” You nodded and Hannibal walked over. 

“Jack, I’m happy you’re here. In many ways, you are the guest of honor. You saved my life, after all,” Hannibal said, putting his hand on the small of your back. You didn’t move it. Jack made note. 

“I’m afraid I can’t stay. But I’d like to take some food to go.” 

You stared at him and he stared back.

Maybe Jack did listen after all. 

-

You sat at the piano by yourself after the dinner party. You put your fingers on the keys and started to play the only thing you knew by heart.

Chopsticks. 

Hannibal walked over and sat beside you. 

“The ending to my composition has been alluding me. You may have solved my problem with Chopsticks,” he said laughing. He put his fingers on the keys and played a background to the simple tune you carried.

“If only all our problems could be solved with a simple waltz,” you said honestly. Hannibal didn’t look at you. 

“I’ve walked away from Will, but I’m still trailing his accusations that you believe,” he told you. 

“Alana has also walked away. You’ve both continued to make eventual fools of yourself,” you said simply, pushing a key down loudly before meeting Hannibal’s eyes. 

“Why do you say that?” 

“Because I believe him. You know that.” Hannibal turned to you and you stared at him. Silence ensued the Lecter household. You broke the quiet.

“Would you like to stay the night?” he asked.

“Hannibal Lecter, I’m not that kind of girl,” you said laughing a bit. “But yes. I would.” You turned to him quietly and stood up, holding your hand to him. He took it and the two of you walked to his bedroom where you tossed a shirt from his dresser at him while taking one for yourself. You got dressed facing away from each other and then got into bed. 

You stared at each other, hair pressed against the pillows.

“Goodnight Hannibal,” you whispered.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

You nuzzled your head into the pillow and he leaned forward. He kissed you and this time you let him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned over you. His hands caressed your hair. 

You pulled away after a moment.

“I’m not that kind of girl,” you whispered back at him again. His lips were still practically touching yours as he spoke.

“I know you aren’t.” 

He leaned back into his side of the bed.

“If Alana Bloom had stayed behind, this would be a different story.” Your mouth dropped open and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow, I’m sorry should I call her?” you asked, laughing. He shook his head.

“I prefer you. You help with nightmares.”

“It’s my magic power.”

Both of you thought about Will. 

You moved forward and Hannibal wrapped an arm around your shoulder, your head on his chest. You both fell asleep to even breathing and a peaceful room.

-

You woke up, your head nuzzled into a pillow. You opened your eyes slowly and met the face of Hannibal Lecter. You had expected to see Will. Despite that disappointment you smiled at the fact that for the first time since the murder, you had a dreamless sleep.

“Peaceful sleep?” you asked. Hannibal opened his eyes, stopping from pretending to sleep.

“Yes. You?” 

“No nightmares. Not even a dream,” you said dreamily. “Perhaps you have a superpower too.” The bell rang and you both looked up startled.

“The last person who rang my doorbell this early was you,” he admitted. “And it clearly isn’t you.” 

He slid out of bed and put on a robe before walking to the front door. You walked to the bathroom, finding one of the old robes in there. You walked down the hallway, the sound of Hannibal's voice echoing. 

“Here. All night,” Hannibal said. You rubbed your eyes.

“Anyone beside you can verify that?” You walked in without thinking, not even registering the voice as Jacks until it was too late. 

“She can,” Hannibal said simply. His face flashed surprise but he tamped it quickly. 

“This isn’t what it looks like,” you said but Jack shook his head.

“All I need to know is if you were here all night.” You glanced between the two and nodded simply.

“He was here all night. We both were.” You glanced at Hannibal. “I’m gonna go,” you said quietly and he nodded solemnly. You turned around but you felt four eyes on you and you weren’t sure how you felt about it.

-

You walked into your home. It still smelled like Will. Maybe Will smelled like the house. You couldn’t quite distinguish it. The dogs pooled around your feet and you pet them, glad you were back early enough to where their food schedule wouldn’t be off at all. 

You fed each of them and they walked around the bowls together. 

You walked to the made bed and felt guilt rise in your chest. It didn’t feel like you had cheated on Will. He knew Hannibal was pursuing you. You knew Hannibal was almost in a backwards way pursuing Will. 

But still as you sat on the bed you grabbed Will’s blanket you got him for Christmas and held it to your chest. He would be back. He would sleep beside you again. 

Even if you were mad at him you loved him to pieces. 

You imagined you always would. 

You wanted to go see him. You got up to do so when the phone rang. You picked it up on the second ring after noticing it was Jack. 

“Hello?” You were nervous he was gonna bring up the morning you had had. 

“I got the results of a murder that happened a few days ago. And Will didn’t kill any of the people we thought he did.”  You wanted to make a sarcastic quip because duh but you just sat back down on the bed. It felt so nice to hear Jack say what you knew in your heart. You grabbed Will’s blanket with your hand without looking at it. 

“Yeah?” you whispered. 

He was silent as you assumed he prepped to tell you that you were right all along.

“We’ve found four lures that are almost identical to the ones we found at your house, made with materials from the exact human remains. There was no copycat. It was always the Ripper.” He paused again. “Will and you were right.” 

You let out a shaky sigh and smiled widely. 

 “No shit,” you muttered and Jack had the heart to laugh. 

“I’ll call you with the details later.” He hung up the phone and you sat on your bed and you let a few laughs of happiness out mixed with some tears of happiness.

The dogs came to you and you pet them each individually. You spoke to them in a happy tone.

“I think dads coming home.”

2x07

[thereallinksstuff]

So I rewrote the notes, apologies for spelling errors if there are any. Ps it's also on a03 here's a link if that's what you prefer, plus there's my other fics there too. https://archiveofourown.org/works/27684086

Logan stood in his room, much like he did every morning at 9 am, looking over himself with a small smile in the mirror. Admiring how good he thought he looked in his 'hidden' outfit as he's been refering to it as. A punked out Jean vest with a large amount of science, space and ocean life themed pins and patches with a save the Earth T-shirt underneath. Topped off with one of his Solid Blue ties loosely tied around his neck. A slick clean pair of black skinny Jeans that he had rolled up to cover just the top of his royal blue converse high tops, tied in a perfect double bow knot.

Suddenly Logan felt Thomas summoning him, Not managing to snap into his usual attire before standing, frozen still in his regular spot in Thomas's livingroom. Much like a deer in headlights.

Thomas, Virgil, Janus and Patton each stood in their respective areas looking at Logan, complete surprise and shock on their faces until Virgil breaks out into laughter. Thomas quickly remembered Logan mentioning this outfit many, many months ago when he first created it for himself. He had only told Thomas since as his 'Brain side' Thomas would know about it anyways.

Thomas swiftly got the others to pay attention to him so Logan could Snap into his usual attire when needed by the group. Logan smiled at him ever so faintly and silently thanked him for the metaphorical saving of him in the situation. He joined in the conversation and helped to the best of his abilities, which is to say, how much the others were willing to listen to his input.

For the next hour or so they discussed whether or not Thomas should make a video about them or one of his many second channel series'. He honestly didn't pay much attention. He was too focused on a strange feeling (heh feeling) that someone was in his room.

As soon as Thomas had his issue resolved Logan was the first to say goodbye, of course with a reminder to drink water and be healthy, but he was out of there quickly.

When he got back to his room he didn't immediately see anyone there, curious as to why he felt like someone had been. He began looking around his room to be sure. He noted how all the books were in place, his bed was still neatly made, his closet doors were slightly open as he had left them. Taking a moment to double check inside his closet, he felt as though someone had their eyes on him. As he walked out of his closet he noticed the his punk outfit was now laid neatly on his bed, walking over and picking up his best to put it away before noticing something in the pocket. He took out a small box that hadn't been in the pocket prior. Setting his vest down and sitting beside the outfit to open the box.

Looking inside carefully incase it's another one of Remus's pranks, glad that it doesn't seem to be he pulls out a thrice folded note.

For Logan, the biggest nerd I know,

I know this is random, and you don't like sides in your room but I can't help but give this to you. I have something else to give you, looking in the kitchen, where Patton won't see to find your next clue.

Ps, I liked the smile that this put on your face, you should wear it more, it suits you well.

From nobody.

As curious as Logan was about the who wrote the note, he does love a good puzzle after all. He looked at the outfit before looking to the gift in the box, deciding to snap into the punk outfit again. Agreeing with the author of the note that it does look good on him. Finally looking inside the box to see what gift he's recieved. Inside was a space pin that had 'viva la pluto' written on a small ribbon over an image of the planet itself. To say he was shocked was an understatement. He was unsure as to who would have given him something so sweet and who would have gone through the trouble of learning about his disdain for Pluto no longer being a planet.

Once a planet, always a planet, He thought as he placed the pin on his vest. Making his way down to the kitchen and seeing Patton making some lunch, the others elsewhere in the mindscape.

"Hello Patton, I wanted to apologize for my appearance earlier I didn't have time to change before being summoned, I will make sure it does not happen again."

Turning around and smiling brightly at Logan, Patton waved it off. " It's alright Logan, I just didn't expect you to enjoy that style, but whatever makes you happy kiddo."

"Ah, thank you Patton. I appreciate your understanding." Logan replied with his usual small smile, looking about the kitchen for somewhere that Patton wouldn't be able to see. Staying out of Patton's way while looking around, seeing a small blue envelope propped up on top of one of the cupboards. Reaching up and grabbing it, seeing that it is the next clue he is to be looking for. Pocketing the note to grab himself a snack, before sitting at the table to read his second clue. Nodding to Roman as he joins Patton and Logan in the kitchen.

To my Star

I know you like to read so check your favourite book to find the next clue, this may be short but I know you won't mind.

From someone ;)

As he finished his snack and reread the note, wondering who it's author is, Roman and Patton join him at the table. Both noticing the note and sharing a look before Roman speaks in his usual princely tone.

"Whatcha got there Logan?" He asked simply, Logan looked up from the note to him to respond.

"A note, it's the second I've gotten today and I am trying to figure out who has been writing them. I unfortunately do not recognize the handwriting, would either of you be able to assist?" He slid the note over to where they could see, Patton looking over it like a confused puppy and Roman looking intensely at it.

Logan sat and waited for them to look between the note and each other. "Well? Do either of you have an idea?" Logan asked calmly as Patton slid the note back.

"Well, I know it isn't Virgil's, his writing is more stylized and he likes to change fonts." Patton replied with a small apologetic smile. Roman tapped his chin as he spoke after Patton.

"Well, my king here is correct and I can tell you it was neither of us, it does look like it could be Janus or Remus's, though I'd expect Remus to write in anything but pen." Roman chuckled softly at Patton and Logans reaction to that. "Oh you both know it's true, he does stuff like that a lot. But I would ask Janus, he seems the most likely." Roman finished sincerely, smiling big and taking Patton's hand in his when nudged.

Logan smiled softly at the two, their relationship having first been a little surprising to the other sides and Logan, but being honestly sweet and helping Thomas greatly. "Well, thank you Roman and Patton, I shall retrieve the next note and continue my adventure. I hope you both have a lovely afternoon."

Smiling at the two respectfully as he gets up to let them have their lunch in peace. Letting them know he shall see them at dinner time before heading up to his room.

Bumping into Virgil on the stairwell. "Ah Virgil, I wanted to apolo-" "Don't worry about the outfit Logan, the style is different and I don't think it fits but Patton said I can't laugh again. Plus you do kind of pull it off." Virgil cut off Logans apology, knowing that he doesn't need to be sorry for being comfortable, especially after all Logan has done to help Virgil be accepted the way he is with the others.

"Ah yes we'll, I'm glad you understand and think so Virge. Oh by the way have you seen either Remus or Janus up here?" Logan was hoping the stormy side had but sighed a little internally when Virgil shakes his head no. "I don't know why your looking for either of them but if you find Janus do you mind letting him know I need his assistance later?" Virgil asked quietly, the faintest of purple glow in his eyeshadow. "Of course Virgil, I shall make note to let him know if I pass him. See you at dinner." Logan replied kindly, nodding with Virgil as the leave to their respective directions.

Opening his door to his room and seeing his original copy of ' The Murder of Agatha Christie' sitting on his desk instead of the shelf where he left it. Picking up the book with a smile, quickly remembering all the good times he's had reading it. Opening the book the the page he was on and seeing another note beside his bookmark. Taking the note out and setting it on his desk before putting the boom away on the shelf.

Standing infront of his desk as he picks the note back up and reads it.

To My Earth,

The notes may be done but the hunt is on, the basement is where to go, a snake or a rat, either will work, to get you to where you want to go

Sincerely,

your admirer.

Staring at the note for a few minutes, having a very minor brain freeze when reading that the notes have been because the author admires him. Going through a list of random facts to unfreeze his mind from his surprise. Shaking his head lightly before heading out of his room and down to the basement, knowing that only Remus and Janus hang out down here. Logan looked around, not noticing Janus or Remus in their living room. He sighed softly as he sat on one of the couches, thinking over where one of them would be in the mindscape. After about five minutes his thoughts shift to who would send these notes, after all he was the 'nerd' he was logic. Although he didn't enjoy wearing the professional outfits as much as his punk one, he just couldn't get his thoughts to a conclusive answer about why someone would admire him.

Lost in his thoughts he didn't notice Remus come up from who knows where to stand right infront of him.

"HIYA Logan, whatcha doing down here?"

Be startled back into reality, Logan re adjusted his vest while answering, "I was left a note that said to find either you or Janus." Logan replied with a. Faint blush on his face from being caught off guard. He hoped Remus would notice and turn it into something more than it is.

"Oh well, that sounds fun can I help you??"

Remus asked while bouncing on his feet, excited about being able to help someone rather than cause then distress. For a few moments logan questioned why Remus would want to help him rather than cause him his normal headache. Unable to bring himself to a logical conclusion as to why he may be acting like this before handing the note to Remus.

"This is the last note I received however I do not know who the author is, and as it says I was looking for either you or Janus to assist. He finished with an adjustment to his glasses and a faint smile to Remus. As Remus was reading the Note and doing his weird thinking face, Logan took this time to really get a look at Remus, he wasn't in his normal Dukey attire, he was wearing something more akin to how logan was dressed. Studded biker boots, torn and well worn camo shorts, a black sleeveless t-shirt that read 'could be gayer' across the chest and a fully studded and random yet organized patch covered Jacket. Logan laughed a little to himself about the similarities between his and Remus's styles. "Well, Remus, do you know what you are to assist with?"

Almost as if he had forgotten Logan was there Remus blinked then bounced right back into energy town. "I DO!!" He shouted and grabbed logan by the wrist. "I know this seems kinda crazy but just follow me!" Remus bounced forward dragging logan along with him. Ignoring the nice feeling of skin contact, Logan followed after Remus, hoping it wasn't an elaborate prank.

"Okay I'm gonna need you to close your eyes and trust me." Remus asked as he stopped in front of a door Logan didn't recognize. "May I ask why Remus, I do not wish to be the subject of your pranks."

Remus looked at Logan with a large grin and replied simply. "it's a surprise! But also because we have to cut through a part of my imagination. I don't want you to be er.. grossed out?" Remus finished quizzadically, him being considerate of the others feelings was a bit strange to Logan, seeing as Remus rarely did it, however he was more curious as to who the author of the notes was and why they have been giving them to him today if all days. Choosing to ignore the romantic feelings he has for the imaginative side infront of him, since logically if he's helping the author it wouldn't be him.

"Alright Remus, I trust you to keep me safe, we can go when you are ready." Logan adjusted his glasses to look at Remus, who had been staring at logan with a wide grin plastered on, but slowly it wavered as he processed what logan had said. "You...you actually trust me enough to enter my imagination?" He asked, looking down rubbing hands together to keep them busy. Not used to people being okay with one, trusting him and two, someone being okay with going into his half of the imagination.

"Well yes, you may not have the nicest or cleanest thoughts and ideas, but you are a part of Thomas, and to be honest with you Remus, there are times when I prefer yours and Janus's company over the others. You are unpredictable and can be a bit morbid however, I have no reason to not trust you. You have never directly hurt me, and I can easily sink out to safety if need be."

Hoping that Remus hasn't noticed the light blush and emotions in the words he's speaking. Letting out a small breath he didn't realize he was holding as Remus bounced in excitement. "Okay, let's go!"

Grabbing Logan's hand gently instead of wrist this time, Remus pulled logan into his imagination as soon as the other's eyes were closed.

Logan now with his eyes closed and his hand in Remus's, he hoped Remus knew where he was going, but then again, this was his side of the imagination, the place he spends most of his time. So Logan let himself get pulled along what sounded like a dirt path. Every so often he would hear humming from Remus as the walked. It had only been 10 minutes of walking but to Logan it felt like longer. Logan spending more thought on trying to ignore how amazing it feels to be holding Remus's hand than how much time is passing.

"Okay stay right there with your eyes closed." Remus had asked him calmly, with what seemed like nervousness in his voice if only a little.

"Okay Remus, just please no pranks." Logan replied calmly and did as asked. He could hear Remus walk towards and open something but, without the visuals he couldn't identify it, so he waited patiently playing with the various spikes on his wristband. Remus slowly walked back over to Logan, a bouquet of wilted flowers in his hands, tied with a royal blue ribbon, he tried for days to make living flowers but couldn't,

He gently tapped logan on the shoulder.

"okay you can open your eyes now" he said with such gentleness that the other had not heard before, opening his eyes and looking around at his surroundings, he couldn't help but to be shocked. Up in the night sky there were thousands of glowing stars with a large shining moon bathing both men in a calm faintly blue light.

As Logan looked around he noticed the partially alive trees and bushes that surrounded the clearing they were in. Remus had a wonderful imagination, yes there were random creatures wandering around, random dirty jokes personified and many, many creations of unknown identity that Remus has left in places, but it was wonderful in its own way, Chaotic but organized. Elements of each of the sides were visible amount the seeming chaos.

Slowly looking over to Remus, Logan noticed how he was already looking at him, with a goofy grin on his face holding what seemed to be withered flowers. "I know you are a hesitant person sometimes and that you like to do things in the most logical order. However demented or disturbing to the other my ideas and thoughts are, you help them to understand me better. Which I can't thank you enough for. So Logan Sanders...would you like to... Would you like to make macabre and chaotic things with me? LikeBoyfriendsDo? On a regular bases?"

It took a moment for Logan to process all of what Remus had been saying, and if his thinking was right Remus was the author of the notes, and he was asking him out in a very Remus way. Logan blushed heavily as did Remus. Realizing that it was Remus who got him the pin and has been leaving the notes, the metaphorical butterflies in his stomach going into a frenzy.

For once Logan didn't have the words to respond, the side he has had feelings for, for a while is asking him out and to be his boyfriend. Before his logical thinking could stop him he stepped forward grabbing Remus by his jacket collar pulling him into a kiss.

Taking the kiss as a yes, Remus slid his hands around Logan's waist, kissing him back with passion in an attempt to communicate how happy he is. When they pull apart logan looks at him with a sparkle in his eyes that was usually reserved for learning. However right here right now, with Remus, in his imagination logan couldn't be happier, even with all his grossness or disturbing thoughts, Remus was the one for him.

"Thank you, and to verbally express my feelings, I accept your offer to be in a romantic relationship, Darling."

"Haha I figured from the kiss but thank you, to hear you say it makes my heart explode into a million pieces hahah." Leaning his head on Logan's shoulder with a chuckle and very very large grin. The two spent the afternoon and evening exploring the area of Remus's imagination that Remus led him to, making sure to keep mental and physical notes on the things that may stick with Thomas More than they probably should. Almost loosing track of time before checking his wristwatch and seeing that it's almost time for dinner.

"Patton will have dinner ready in 5 minutes, did you want to grab Janus and head up Rem?"

Logan asked Remus inbetween one of his short monologue. Remus's head shot up and he smiled big, bouncing in his boots. "I would love to! And we can just summon Janus if he isn't there already with his double dicked self." Remus laughed at the look on Logans face, knowing that the he has many, many questions to now ask Janus about his snake side.

Heading out of the imagination with Remus' hand in his own, Logan chose to ignore the snake anatomy questions floating in his mind in favor of thinking about how lucky he is to be able to express his romantic feelings and have them reciprocated. Laughing with Remus, his real genuine laugh because Remus made a joke as they walk into the kitchen.

Both stopping their laughter when Roman yells at seeing them, being a very confused prince that the brain and the dark creative sides are holding hands and laughing. Patton squeeking loudly enough to make Janus rise up and Virgil come downstairs. Janus looked over to where Logan and Remus are standing, tipping his hat to the green side with a small smile. Virgil looking at them both in pure confusion before just throwing his arms up in defeat and sitting at the table, blushing more when Janus sits beside him of all places.

Logan and Remus take their seats, still holding hands as they get bombarded with questions. Logan thinking about how glad he is that the notes were finally given to him as Remus tells Patton about how he set it up.

[cequonveut]

FIC REC

Title: Blackberry Jam

Author: JulietsEmoPhase

Rating: E

Exploding Snap Trope for @gameofdrarry: Period Piece / Nine of Ravenclaw

Word Count: 36031

Tags: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Alternate Universe - World War II, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Sharing a Bed, First Kiss, First Time, Angst, Light Angst, Fluff and Angst, Mild Smut, Internalized Homophobia, Frottage, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Consensual Underage Sex

Summary: 10-year-old Harry and Draco are evacuated from London during the Blitz, and through a logistical error, end up sharing not only a home but a bed. Follow them as they grow up against the backdrop of the war, discovering who they really are and slowly falling in love.

WWII Muggle AU. Mild smut, warnings for some thoughts of self harm/suicide.

Rec Notes:

This is the kind of fic where you finish reading it, you lie on the floor in existential crisis because how can you ever experience anything that will make you feel like this again? And then you go back to the fic and reread your favorite parts but that ends up in you rereading the entire thing again and now it’s 5am but you don’t care because this fic euphoria is worth every minute of sleep deprivation.

So it’s a Muggle AU set during World War II, and while it may sound as if there’s too much that’s been changed, this work weaves the HP universe into this setting fantastically. Even the style of the writing reflects the time period and really sucks you into the story.

The story starts when Harry and Draco are young, 10-11 years old, and follows them as they grow up in wartime and just does such an excellent job of showing how their feelings develop.

Also, you may be put off by the time period, but while this fic will make you Feel™ things, it’s not out to hurt you without providing the comfort right after.

Cannot recommend this fic enough, it’s one of my favorites and I think should be a classic among Drarry works!

Excerpt:

“Draco,” he began, wiping his mouth to make sure he’d gotten the last of the berry juice off it.  “Do you think, if we weren’t…living together, we would be friends now.” ...

   ...But Draco contemplated his response.  “Honestly,” he said after a few moments.  “I’m not sure if we would.”

   Harry felt like ice flooded his chest.  He couldn’t imagine Draco not being his friend.  He was his special friend, different to his best friend Ron.  Draco was like his brother or something.  They shared everything, and when they were apart Harry felt like he was missing some part of himself.

   “Oh,” he said, then cleared his throat to try and dislodge the lump there. 

   “I mean,” Draco said carefully.  “You played on the football team, and ran around in the muck.  I played piano and never ran anywhere.  I’m not sure we would have talked much, if we hadn’t been placed in the same house.”

   “Yeah,” Harry said, chewing on his lip.  “I guess you’re right.”

   He was surprised by Draco taking his hand, their palms and fingers sticky from all the berries they had devoured as they interlocked, and Harry turned to look at Draco once more.  “I am extremely glad we are friends now though,” he said, his grey eyes wide and shining.  “If anything good has come out of this ghastly war, it is that at least we got the chance to become friends.”

   “Great friends,” Harry agreed enthusiastically, his chest swelling again with happiness.

   “Best friends,” Draco insisted solemnly.  And Harry supposed that was true.  It didn’t mean Ron was any less important to him, but he got to see Draco every day, and where as Ron was fun and loud and great at football, Draco was like Harry’s special secret.  They were two halves, two sides of the same bed.

   “Best friends,” Harry repeated, squeezing their hands together, as if making a promise. 

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145645/chapters/16224158#workskin

[whirlybirdwhat]

Heyo~ I just wanted to say that your fanfics have inspired me to write my owns, they're so good!!

But my writing isn't nearly as good, do you have any advices for this starting writer? <3

oh my gosh anon !!!!!! im ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ !! im so glad they inspire you, and I wish you all the best on your writing!!! you got this, and please link them if/when you post!!!! 👀👀👀

as for advice - i got a few things!

first off, your writing is yours, and - especially in fic - there isn't necessarily a type of 'good' writing, just different skill sets! for instance, i find that my weak point is dialogue, while im great at worldbuilding + emotions. another writer might be the opposite, but it doesn't mean my writing is 'bad' and theirs is 'good' or the reverse, simply that we have different strengths! as you grow as a writer, you will find your strengths and learn to grow them, and your weak points! there is truly no standard, so don't put yourself down!!

moving on to more advice however - (EDIT: theres a tldr at the bottom because sorry, i rambled a bit!!)

1. write. it doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter how! I have written fics on sticky notes in the middle of class (whiskey peak chapter of esom) on discord in the span of a few hours (make a choice (turncoat hero)) and in my notes apps (the ace/yamato fic i posted)!! if you learn to write anywhere you please, this will keep ideas from leaving your mind, and allow you to get into the zone that there doesn't have to be a set time to write!

2. length never matters for a fic. If 100 words is all it takes to write what you want to write, then 100 words is all it takes! don't let the general adoration for long fics to scare you off from writing, and write what you're comfortable with. I know writers who only write chapter fics, and writers who will only write one shots (then there's me, who tries to do both at once lol.)

3. when i am lost with the plot of a fic, the first thing i do is draft an outline of what i want to happen next. this is just a simple bullet point outline, in the general fashion of, say

- luffy gets a different hat post pirate king

- monkey steals hat

- luffy calls for zoro

- zoro sleeping?? sanji kicks him then fight

- the monkey is revealed as the red haired pirates monkey

- shanks shows up "miss me anchor?" party time

brief, follows a simple set of actions, perhaps one or two lines that i thought of while writing, and gives me a skeleton to follow so that when i lose myself in a fic i know where i can go next. Some people find it useful to do this at the beginning with a super detailed plot, and others never write a outline at all! it depends again on how you grow as a writer, so don't be afraid to try different things out when you approach a fic

4. stuck on a part? writer block? can't focus? get up drink a glass of water, and get back to writing! i find this helps me get refocused on writing when i am stuck, a little body 'wake up' as you will.

5. never EVER delete a scene from a fic. never. NEVER. move that scene to another doc, put it in a 'scrapped writing' folder, idc, but never delete it entirely. it helps you grow as a writer, and you can always put the scene back/reword it, etc. i cannot count on my hands how many times i have reworked a previously scrapped portion of a fic and came out the better for it!

6. having multiple wips is okay!! celebrate it even!! i always have at least five docs for five separate fics up on my computer at all times so i can shuffle between them when writing and write what im inspire for in that moment. its okay if you never make headway on one of them, as long as the ideas keep flowing

7. want to get something out quick? word wars are your friend - set a timer for 15 minutes, and write as many words as you can. this is especially fun if you have someone doing it with you, so you can compare counts at the end and share your story!!

8. writing, like all art, takes time. and, generally, there is a chance you will write faster when you first set out to write then you will later, because later, you will be more conscious of your word choices and be more deliberate and careful in your plot, rather than just churning out works. It's okay if you don't churn out 5k a day - writing is not an obligation!

9. have. fun. im serious! write what you want to write, even if it seems no one will love it or like it or want to read it - write what brings you joy, what makes you smile, even if it's something that's been done a thousand times before!! this is what fic is, for your own personal enjoyment. Additionally, do not be discouraged if there's a low amount of reviews for something you put your heart and soul. it sucks ass, yes, (i have a couple fics i love which have only gotten like, a quarter of attention of some of my other fics) but ultimately, the idea you wrote down is one you want to see in the world!! it doesn't quite matter what anyone else likes.

10. grammarly, word counter, word, etc - anything with a spellcheck is your best friend, and will generally catch things you miss if you cant find someone to proofread for you. additionally, if you want to be more critical of your fic, look for friends tto give constructive critcism, but know that you absolutely do not have to accept it from any stranger online unless you asked specifically for it.

11. fanon is fanon and popular headcanons are popular headcanons and both are absolutely not canon. you do NOT have to follow it if you do not want to.

12. read!!! i read a lot of fic, a lot of published books, and each has something i really enjoy and apply to my own fics.

13. to reiterate again just... write. write and write and write. i have over 300k posted to ao3 rn, and more in my docs. you will not improve your writing to any standard that you set for yourself unless you write!! always practice!! learn from your mistakes!! grow!!! you will improve with time, i promise, just go out and write what makes you happy anon!!

tl;dr have fun, write a lot wherever and whenever, and write for yourself before anyone else. you will improve with time as a writer the more you practice, and it doesn't ever matter how long your work is.

if you want more specific advice on formatting fic/general rules/ your first time posting, feel free to send another ask!! but for now, i wish you the best of luck anon and a very 👀👀👀👀 at your future fics!!!

[adiabolikpastel]

Title: Lunar Eclipse Masquerade

Karlheinz pt. 3

Rating: NSFW | PG-18

Word Count: 1,947

Pairing: Karlheinz x Skye (m/m)

ღ As the part unwinds, Skye is finally able to take a breath. Though maybe there is something else on Karl's mind, as the moons affects finally seem to reach him. ღ

Mun Yu: We did it! These are the last pieces of the LEM story. The end to our Lunar Eclipse. I hope that you have enjoyed the ride, and gotten to know the stories on this blog better! Tune in at the end of it all for Authors Notes!

☆+ ﾟ .+ .ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ﾟ ｡. +ﾟ ｡ﾟ.ﾟ｡☆*｡｡ . ｡ o .｡ﾟ｡.o｡* ｡ .｡

Despite what most people think, demonic beings are very social creatures. The elites hold countless balls and parties, celebrating their immortality together, and entertaining one another with stories. Typically, they are done in celebration for something – though this is not always the case. All types of beings from across the Demon Realm will come if the host is of high enough prestige.

There would be no such host if it was not for Karlheinz. Seated as the head of the Bat Clan (vampires), Karl’s reach spans far. Being the widow for the former Demon King’s daughter, and having children of the first blood, an invitation from the Vampire King is not one to refuse. Though why would you? In his immaculate castle within the Demon Realm, Eden Castle, it is always quite the spectacle. While the celebrations held in his Human World mansion are nice, nothing compares to a true night of pleasure within the true home of the King.

On this night, there was to be a Masquerade in honor of the first Lunar Eclipsed Moon in over two years. While this night may serve each species differently, the idea to celebrate its return was simply too tempting. For this reason, Karlheinz took it upon himself – or rather – his house, to host the event. This extended to his offspring as well, regardless of their personal agenda. Members of every social elite race accepted the offer, and gathered for a truly unforgettable evening

While he was sure others had a marvelous time at the event, Skye was exhausted. It was one thing to organize and watch something happen from afar. Being one of the hosts was completely different. There was never a moment of peace. At any time someone would come up to speak with Karl, and he would have to smile and pretend to be interested.

It was enough to just be seen and not heard. How did his wives ever deal with this? Then again, they were probably all bread for this kind of thing. After departing from Shu and his new bride, Karl had insisted on taking Ajax and his wife with him on a tour. But not before getting Burai – what were these three frat brothers?

To see Karlheinz in this light was rather amusing. Not that he was very different, but one could tell that the three men had a special bond about them. Perhaps that wasn’t something Skye could understand. He wasn’t too keen on the history here in the Demon Realm, but he did know that there used to be battles constantly. These three must have been allies through all of that. Or perhaps they were enemies which Karl subdued? Skye wasn’t sure which.

“And then, wouldn’t you know it, Meteo surprised us with a visit! It was glorious to see him! Xyander and Xylon met him for the first time. Hard to think they are already three and never met their brother. My son has been so busy – but Stevi and Helios were excited to see him. Little Onan was sleeping, but I am sure they are having a great time while we are away.” Ajax prattled on and on while they walked through the castle. Skye couldn’t help but roll his eyes, just how many kids did this guy have?!

“Dear, you speak of our children much too much. Your castle is beautiful as always, Karlheinz. Thank you again for allowing us the honor of visiting. Even if it was just to swoop away with our daughter.” His wife chimes, wearing a smile, but her words drip with venom.

Karl laughed slightly at her, Skye could tell that it was mostly in triumph. “Now Catalina, we both know that Ajax would never simply give away something so precious. Callista will be well taken care of, of that I assure you.” Karl offered her comfort, but it was more so in an attempt to get the matter dropped. He had won, there was no sense in her dwelling on the past.

“Honestly, the fuss you all make over children.” Burai finally speaks. “That is why you have them one at a time. Devote what you can, then move on.”

“That is an interesting stance, though, given your record my friend – I wouldn’t lead with it.” Karl states, in reference to Burai being not only his friend, but his ex-father-in-law.

“I would choose one child every century- millennia even - over the amount you both have.” The Demon shivered, disgusted by the idea it seemed. “They are simply a means to an end. We must produce them to preserve the line and power, but nothing more.”

“That is not true! My children bring me such joy! You cannot say that you feel nothing when you look at your son now!”

“I won’t comment on that.” Burai simply answers, as Ajax berates him with further justifications of his unending love for his offspring.

Skye walks quietly next to Karl while the demons talk amongst themselves. He was ready to retire for the evening, and as they came back into the ballroom, he was glad to see most of the guests had gone. Especially at least half of Karl’s sons – all that remained were Kanato, Shu and Reiji… wait! Was Reiji seriously trying to take Shu’s dance!?

“Well isn’t that quite the problem.” Karl muses beside him. “Seems those two just cannot get along.” Skye knew that this had to be part of a larger plan. Karl doesn’t simply do anything. There is always a motive.

“Callista my dear!” Ajax’s voice boomed from behind them, the large demon B-lining straight to his daughter. He did not seem upset by her daughter being in the arms of someone other than the man he had just left her with.

“It is still a mystery how that man became a Demon Lord.” Burai comments stepping up to Karlheinz. “He is a fool.”

“Some just have other reasons for fighting. He is plenty powerful to make up for the fool. Not to mention his wife does a fairly decent job keeping things in check.” He shrugs it off, watching the ever doting father collect his daughter. “What of you? Any plans I should know about for a future love affair?”

Burai scoffs, “My last child is still alive, so do not count on it.” He says, gesturing to someone. Skye looked in the direction, hoping it would be Alrick. To his surprise, a woman seemed to respond to the signal. She was dressed in a floor length gown, but not something fancy, something closer to a maid’s outfit really. Was this a familiar? Her appearance was almost human; very bland everything. There wasn’t even a demonic presence about her.

“You have summoned me, Lord Burai?” Whoever this was, they were most certainly a servant. Not looking up even slightly, that was some quality training.

“We are leaving.” Burai dictates, the young maid bowing and excuses herself. “You celebrations are nice, however, please do keep me off any intimidate affairs. I have little time to deal with such things.” Almost as quickly as he finished his sentence the strange woman was back, and helping him put on his coat. Perhaps she was a familiar.

“You are the last person I would want to have anything intimate with, my friend.” Karl waves off the demon lord, and escorts Skye to the head of the room. Skye looked back at the Snake demon to see if Alrick was going to show up.

Instead, he saw this supposed happy bachelor prude, actually link arms with the servant! What a hypocritical- oh god was that a kiss!? Skye couldn’t believe it. Even if it was on the hand, that ass hole. Giving everyone the ‘oh look at me – I’m all business. Big bad demon lord’. He couldn’t wait to tell Alrick about it later.

“You are quite distracted. I think that’s enough sharing you for one day.” Karl’s voice brings Skye out of his train of thought. “Come, we shall retire for the evening.” His voice was soft, as if he was purposely only allowing Skye to hear.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to imply something, my king.” Skye knew that there was no way this night was not going to end without the two of them becoming intimate. Honestly he was pretty tired. Not to mention, it was his impression that the Bloody Moon was supposed to affect the bat clan. Here the night is over and Karl’s been the same. Rip off.

Karl laughed a little at Skye’s comment, “Haha, you know me too well.” He moves a hand around Skye’s waist, holding him close. Within moments the two of them were moved out of the ballroom and into their room. Well, this was the room they typically fooled around in. Skye knew this wasn’t Karl’s room – he actually doubted that the man slept at all.

Skye smiles up at Karl and moves over to the bed, sitting on the edge, crossing his legs. “I must say, that was fun being your little arm candy ~ I don’t think there was a single person who missed it.” That thought sent shivers up his spine. What a thrill it was to be seen. Not to mention seen by all those stuck up demons who would normally look down on him.

Karl watches Skye bask in the afterglow of their appearance. What a strange creature he was, actually wanting to be the center of the universe. Yet at this moment, Karl felt like that role suited Skye more than any other. “Yes, you were magnificent, my siren.” His praise seemed to affect him, as their eyes were soon looking over one another.

With a smirk on his face, Karl summoned his magic to disrobe the cape which was draped over his shoulder. Whilst he undid the buttons on his vest, and loosened the tie around his neck. “So well in fact,” He stepped out of his shoes, and allowed magic to take his discarded clothing off to be hung up. “I believe you deserve a reward.”

Skye was entranced by Karl’s mystical display. God it was always so hot to watch him strip. Way better than doing all that work himself. Just as Skye was about to do the same, Karl suddenly dipped down and knelt before him. “My King…?” Skye’s eyes widened. This man was not about to do something stupid, right?!

With a small laugh, Karl slowly started to take off Skye’s heels. “Your expression dictates you were thinking something absurd.” He softly kisses the top of Skye’s foot. “I am rewarding you for all the hard work you did for this night, not punishing you.” There was a hint of melancholy to his words.

Karl had no interest in submitting another to the role of his ‘wife’ again. The title was nothing but a front anyway. He had not loved anyone. Still loved no one. These ‘feelings’ for Skye - if they were love, Karl would have no idea. Their time together was an end to boredom alone. The means to a release. Though if that were completely true, Skye wouldn’t be as involved as he was with Karl’s professional life.

The boy was more than just his assistant here. In the Human World, he was even Tougo Sakamaki’s new face. People saw him more than they did the politician. Once Skye had finished school, he came onto the alias’ line of work, and began working as the personal secretary for the famed politician. Karl was sure that Skye would even be a nurse for Reinhert if he had asked.

Skye let out a soft mew in response to Karl’s gentle touches and kisses. This was new, he was never this gentle. It felt nice, especially since his feet were killing him from the heels. Beauty was so painful. He was happy that things were like this, how silly to think that Karlheinz would even consider a marriage. Well, it wasn’t like he honestly thought about it - it was more just the shock of him actually kneeling.

Though now that he got a good look - the sight of the Karlheinz was worshiping his feet. “Heh, my king~ I have to admit, mhmm, the sight of you down there… is really turning me on~” He says, moving his other foot to locate Karl’s groin.

Karl simply focuses on his task at hand. Slowly. Sweetly. Moving his lips up from Skye’s foot, up his leg. “Mm! My King… if you tease me so much I - ah!” Karl moves to just behind Skye’s knee - one of his biggest weak spots. Skye bites back another moan.

“Now that wont do.” Karl suddenly speaks and looks up at Skye. His eyes are full of desire. Hunger. Lust. “I want to hear you. Every sigh. Gasp. Moan. You will not hold anything back. In return, I shall spoil you. Every. Inch.” He smirks, wetting his lips, and picking up Skye’s other foot. “So. Be the beautiful siren you are meant to be. And submit yourself to my will.”

☆+ ﾟ .+ .ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ﾟ ｡. +ﾟ ｡ﾟ.ﾟ｡ ROUTE END☆*｡｡ . ｡ o .｡ﾟ｡.o｡* ｡ .｡

[cilldaracailin]

These Are The Days Of Our Lives

Hello my Tumblr Lovelys,

Happy Tuesday!

Here is the next part of this story for everyone and I am giving you some you tube links for some of the songs Robyn loves at the concert, if anyone is interested. 

Ludovico Einaudi

Le Onde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vg-0DFNTBm0

I Giorni      

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uffjii1hXzU

Nuvole Bianche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyY4IZ3JDFE

Just wanted to add some music to this add because for me, for some chapters in the story, music helps me write and for this one, these songs helped a lot.

Hope you all enjoy!

Suze xxx

7

“But they say if you dream a thing more than once, it's sure to come true.”

Taron turned his head to follow her as she left the box and then sank into his chair. Every instinct inside him told him to follow her, to not let go her go alone but their evening was so very different to the last one they had together and with his privacy a bit more in secret at the Royal Albert Hall compared to his own movie premier, he knew Robyn would be fine, mingling in the with crowd. He pulled his phone from his pocket, wanting to give his mam a quick text and as he was typing up a quick few words, his phone vibrated in his hands as a message came through. His face turned to a smile when he saw a text from Robyn, a picture in their WhatsApp conversation.

“No line, here is the cubicle door. All locked.”

His worries lifted as did his lips and he was still typing in his reply when another picture came through.

“All done, just topping up the lippy.”

The photo of her reflection in the mirror, pouting his way made him chuckle and he finished his reply, sending it onto her. He finally sent the quick text to him mam, a second to Richard and then got to his feet, making his way to the table where the waiter greeted him with a smile.

“Two glasses of champagne please.”

“Of course sir.”

With pristine, well-rehearsed and steady movements, the waiter popped a bottle of champagne and poured two crystal clear glasses with the bubbly alcohol and handed them to Taron.

“Thank you.” He said as he took them and made his way back to his seats and just as he sat down, he felt that calming hand on his shoulder and Robyn slipped in past him.

“See? Safe and sound.”

“For you.” Taron handed her the glass. “And thanks for the bathroom commentary.”

“You are welcome. Thought you would like it.”

“Might have to borrow that shade of lipstick from you.” He took a sip from his glass.

“Anytime you want.” She replied after taking a little drink from her own glass. As Robyn took another sip her eyes looked up the ceiling and slowly she brought her glass back down to her lap, while her gaze continued to stare above her. Round white discs decorated the ceiling, hanging down in no particular neat order but making a statement all the same, a light red hue glowing behind them.

“They are sound discs. Helps the even distribution of sound throughout the whole theatre so no matter where you are sitting you have the most perfect audio. Any type of event. A concert, movie or theatrical performance, every seat has the same experience of sound.” Taron explained.

“Pretty cool.”

“Yep.” Taron drained the last of his drink. “I am going to get some water. Would you like anything?”

“Water would be great.” Robyn drank down her champagne in one go and handed him the glass after he had gotten to his feet.

While Taron went to get them something else to drink, Robyn took her phone from her bag and wasn’t surprised to see a text from Claire. Opening the message, she rolled her eyes and quickly replied with a vague answer, knowing her friend was going to hate the reply. Taron came back to his seat as Claire replied with a swear word and angry emoji and Robyn chuckled to herself as she felt Taron settle beside her.

“Claire?” He asked, so glad to see her face in genuine smile, handing over a cold bottle of water to her. Taron was happy to stop after one alcoholic drink knowing he had to go back to a demanding script on Monday and a lingering hangover from drinking too much bubbly would not help his already overwhelming pressure on set.

“Yup. Giving her as little information as possible.” Robyn took her water from him and placed it on the floor beside her bag.

“You are terrible.” Taron opened his bottle of water and took a long drink. “How are her and Nick getting on?” He asked as he screwed the lid back on the top.

“Like a house on fire. Claire has been asking for your number to thank you for talking to him, helping Nick to make the first move.”

“I do believe it was your little dare that helped him make the first move.”

Robyn chuckled. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“They wouldn’t have kissed if you hadn’t of kissed me.” He said, his voice a little quiet. “Get your forfeit from her yet?”

Hearing his quick change of subject from their kiss, Robyn followed his lead. “Nope not yet. I am still trying to come up with a good one. I fully intend to make it a good one.”

“Can I be around when you do?”

“I am sure that can definitely be arranged.” Robyn agreed. “Maybe you can help me think of something.” She could see his right arm resting on the arm rest between them and lay her left arm around his, linking their fingers, his hand warm and comforting in hers. “Thank you for not getting mad at me for breaking my promise of asking you for help.” She whispered very quietly to him, her voice cracking a little. “I am trying to be better.”

Feeling his heart ache, a shiver run through him, Taron squeezed her hand. “You have nothing to thank me for. It’s what I told you I would do for you and as I have said before, I don’t want you to change.” He leaned his head closer to her so their temples touched. “Just lean on me a bit more.” He moved to kiss her temple and after a second kiss gave her hand another squeeze. “Now no more sadness, I know you are beyond excited for this concert and I want you to enjoy every bit of it.”

“You will enjoy it too?” Robyn asked him. “Not going to fall asleep on me?” She felt so much lighter after Taron was so gentle with her, his words kind.

“I do enjoy all genres of music Robyn and I am looking forward to the concert as much as you are.” He smiled as she turned her head to look at him. “Though I am looking forward to watching you watching him but I have a feeling I am going to be ignored for the next two hours.”

Robyn fully grinned. “And I will apologise now for zoning out on you or trying to get over the balcony, maybe playing out the melodies on the arm rest.” She took her hand from his and tapped her fingers lightly across the back of hand as an example. “I owe you one long cuddle and deep head massage after all of this.”

Taron shook his head. “Not at all. This your birthday present.” His head turned a little as he heard voices behind him, more guests of their shared box making their way to their seats. “But maybe we can share a cuddle later?”

Robyn nodded. “Deal.” She slipped her hand back into his.

“You want my jacket?” He asked her over the hum of the few people moving to sit behind them. “As usual you are a little cold.”

“I have my shawl, thank you.”

He watched as Robyn swung her shawl over her shoulders, pulling it around herself. “Are you always cold?” He asked. “I am genuinely interested.”

“My hands are normally cold but lately I just seem to have an all over chill at times.”

“You are not getting sick are you?”

Robyn shook her head. “Nope.”

“Sitting with your aircon on full blast?”

“Nope. Hands normally cold, rest of me not so much. I was roasting last night.”

“You wore the pyjamas meant for winter. It was a given that you were going to roast.”

“True. You don’t have to be worried Taron. I am in perfect health; I have always had cold hands. A little tired but who isn’t.” She tapped his nose. “Turn that frown upside down.”

Taron couldn’t help but smile at the return of her playful mood. “I call for a lie in tomorrow.”

Robyn nodded. “I am very much in favour of that idea.”

“You are looking after yourself, right?” He asked seeing the lights of the dome starting to dim.

“Are you?” She returned quickly.

“Yes.” He saw her quick turn of her head towards him. “I will go to Matthew to talk to him on Monday.”

“I will call you if a bad dream wakes me.”

With a silent nod as the remainder of the house lights went down, Robyn’s head turned towards the stage and immediately leaned forward as Ludovico Einaudi walked on stage, dressed impeccably in a black suit and white shirt. She got to her feet along with everyone else, clapping loudly, the composer taking a bow twice before he took a seat at the piano. Robyn sat on the edge of her red seat, waiting with baited breath for his hands to touch the keys, to hear the first sound of a note and as simple broken chord was played, her eyes closed and her whole body relaxed to the sound of the music.

Taron watched fascinated as Robyn’s shawl fell from her shoulders as she leaned closer to the balcony her eyes closed, her whole body taken in by the music after only a few notes. He knew he had his favourite artists but for Robyn it was as if she was completely lost in the music within seconds and he smiled as she moved even closer to the balcony so she could fold her arms over the red felted barrier and leaned her chin on her hands, completely captivated by the piano sounds. A part of him could feel her pull away from him but he inwardly scolded himself for suddenly feeling jealous of a man playing piano. Taron had seen her Spotify playlist, scrolled through her music on her phone and knew it was more than just music to her. It was an escape from a reality she had a hard time dealing with and seeing the way she became so engrossed in the music as she played it, understood the importance of something as simple as the piano music he could hear. Instead, he leaned forward to place a hand on her back, letting her knew he was there and she turned her head to give him a smile before taking up her previous position of leaning on the barrier mesmerised by the composer on stage.

As the soothing sounds of Le Onde played through the theatre, Robyn’s face broke into a smile, her right hand automatically playing the notes on the balcony in time with the ones she heard. One of her favourites and first composition of his she had learnt to play, it was beautiful and stunning live. Her view was terrific and only as the man sat at the piano could see really appreciate the expensive box she sat in. The piano was positioned more sideways than she had first thought and Robyn could not only see the keys but also his hands as he played and she was fascinated by the smoothness and faultlessness of his playing, not one mistake or hesitation to be heard. She knew she had moved away from Taron but she couldn’t help herself and needed to get as close as she could, to fully watch and take in the beautiful music and playing in front of her.

Clapping hard, along with the rest of the audience, after a fourth solo piece, the orchestra walked on stage and took their places with her instruments and they accompanied the piano for a number of wonderfully composed pieces, Robyn finding herself moving her right hand as if she was conducting them, playing air piano, just out of habit as it would be her norm when listening to the music on her couch. Even though she was enjoying every moment, after half an hour of sitting as she was, she could feel a twinge in her lower back and had to move into her seat, feeling the nudge from Taron as she got comfortable in her chair and realised that the view from sitting in her seat was just as spectacular as leaning forward. She nudged him back and settled beside him, their arms side by side on the arm rest.

Robyn sat in her chair perfectly still, except for her hands tapping out notes along to the beat and Taron chuckled as she almost launched herself at the barrier again nearly an hour later as what he presumed was another of Robyn’s favourite songs was played and she was using the top of the balcony once more as an invisible piano, playing along, her eyes closed at one point for a long time, her whole body lost in the music. As the tune filtered to his ears, he recognised it as one Robyn had played a little bit of for him but judging by her hand movements, she had learnt how to play the whole song and getting caught up in her love for the music being played and her beautiful joy, leaned forward to join her, slipping his left arm around her waist.

Robyn felt the warmth on her right side and knew it was Taron but she was so caught up in the music, she didn’t really acknowledge him not wanting to miss a note or moment of bliss from the stage. Watching the Italian composer play live was such a different experience to watching videos on the internet and it was such an incredible feeling getting to see him play the pieces she loved to play and practiced constantly to learn.

As the music changed and he ran into his next solo piece, she took a long breathe as her most loved piece filtered to her ear and she felt Taron move a little closer to her. Closing her eyes, she was only aware of the music all around her, her hands copying every note perfectly in time with that played live in front of her and not even realising it, Taron had moved his right arm closer to her and she was taping notes out on his arm and even less so the two tears that trailed down her cheeks as she became entranced by the music. It had taken her weeks to learn this song, hours of sitting and playing but it was the most wonderful distraction from the mess her life had become and helped to heal a shattered heart as she concentrated on loving something other than a piece of shit of a man.

Taron knew he should have been concentrating on the actual composer but he was so taken aback by how quick Robyn’s fingers played out the beat of the notes on his arm, by how she hit each note perfectly and as he looked to her face, became concerned with how emotional she had become, how tears were on her cheeks, her eyes still closed, her focus once again on the music and he was yet again seeing a new side to her, that vulnerability she was slowly letting him see coming through. As the song slowed down and the crowd erupted, jumping to their feet in applause for the set of solo songs, he kept his arm around Robyn’s waist and hugged her sideways as they stood, watching as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. He dropped his hand from her waist and bent down to pick up her bag and routing through found a pack of tissues and pulled one out handing it to her.

“Thanks.”

“Means a lot to you.”

“So much.” Robyn dried her cheeks. “Got me through some shit times.”

Taking her hand, Taron sat back in his seat, Robyn back in hers and he wrapped his left arm around her shoulders, not caring who was behind them and as Robyn lightly leaned against him, he was very happy to give her a little comfort as the orchestra picked up again and a more lively song played.

Robyn kept the tissue in her left hand, worried she was going to get overly emotional again and let Taron keep her right hand in his, both on his lap as they sat close together for the last twenty minutes of the concert. If she could have clapped harder, she would have and on their feet at the end, the standing ovation lasted a long time and Robyn stood and watched every musician leave the stage, a little bit of hope inside that there would be an encore but as the house lights came back on, her heart dropped a little but she was smiling and unbelievably happy.

Turning to Taron who had sat back down in his seat she sighed. “Thank you.”

“You are more than welcome.” He watched as Robyn sat back in her seat, another happy sigh filling her whole body. “Better than a Welshman with a Care Bear?” He asked her.

“Better than a Care Bear.” She answered. “Nowhere near as special as a Welshman.” She said firmly. “Thanks for the tissue.”

“No worries. You ok?”

Robyn nodded. “Sometimes it gets to me. He is my go-to calm down music so it brings up some memories.”

“I get that chicken. Happens to me when I listen to Bowie sometimes.”

“Remember when we said how Tiny Dancer has nice memories for us? And doesn’t remind us so much now of when you were in the ambulance?” She saw Taron give her a little nod. “I will listen to Ludovico Einaudi and play his music and remember this night. It only has good memories now.”

Taron stood up and reached for her hands and once she took them, helped her to her feet and drew her close to him for a hug, knowing she needed one and him too because once again he was getting a glimpse into a past he did not like and needed a distraction and hugging Robyn always distracted him.

She didn’t even hesitate to snuggle into him, her face resting on his shoulder as his dipped into her neck and as she brought her right hand to the tight hair at the back of his neck, she felt his smile on her skin and laughed as he lifted her off her feet for a moment before setting her back down. “You are setting the bar very high for the presents Taron.”

“And baking too.” He added, laughing hard as she lightly slapped the back of his head.

Robyn happily would have hugged him all night and the next day too, breathing in his familiar scent, just holding him and being held back in a loving embrace. Whatever damage Keith had done to her heart was mended in the last few seconds of that hug and as Taron kissed her cheek when he let her go, Robyn didn’t see Taron standing in front of her any more but a man who she knew she could turn to for anything no matter how small and if she did happen to call him in the middle of the night because of a bad dream, knew he would happily take the call without question.

“Robyn?” He asked watching as she stared at him, his eyes opening as she moved her face a little closer to his and placed the lightest of kisses to the side of his lips, moving to kiss his forehead in that loving way she always did.

“Thank you for everything you have done for me today.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” He winked.

“Oh dear, what else do you have planned?”

“Well, nothing but you never know what could happen.” He looked to the exit of the box and saw the stewards waiting patiently for them to leave. “Want to take a trip to gift shop on the way out?”

“Best birthday ever!” Robyn exclaimed, picking her shawl up from her chair. She had been so caught up in the concert, she couldn’t even remember when it fell from her shoulders.

“Let me.” Taron took the blue shawl and carefully wrapped it around her. “Don’t need you getting cold.”

Once Robyn had her bag, they walked out of their box, thanking the staff and Taron guided her back to the lifts and to the gift shop which was a little busy but he stood close by her side paying for the programme she picked up. He had called Anthony as Robyn browsed the items for sale in the shop and when they reached the place where the black car had dropped them off, Anthony was there waiting for them.

“Good evening Robyn, Taron. Have a nice night?”

“It was wonderful.” Robyn said, smiling as the driver used her name.

“Yeah Anthony. We had a great time.”

Taron didn’t even get a chance to make the first move to get Robyn to nestle into his side because before the car even moved, she had lifted his left arm over her shoulder and cuddled into him, her left leg crossing over her right, her left arm draped lazily over his stomach. His eyes closed a soft smile on his lips as she initiated the cuddle and he gave her left shoulder a light rub, feeling a long breath fill her body, so similar to the one had taken too. They didn’t talk to each other and once again it was Anthony interrupting the comfortable silence in the car to let them know they are at Taron’s apartment.

Robyn had her shawl pulled tight around her as she walked alongside Taron to his door, stepping into his dark home as he let her in first. She used the light of the door to find her way to the couch and sat down on the soft material, blinking a little as bright light flooded the apartment when Taron turned on the lights. She watched him empty his pockets, putting his phone, wallet and the programme onto his coffee table and dropped onto the couch right beside her.

“You lost your words?” He asked.

“A little.” She answered him.

“Can I get you anything?”

��Not at the moment. You have done so much already.”

“Always willing to do more.”

“As well as stealing my words.” She joked, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

“Want your care bear horse?” He asked.

“Nope.”

“Want some cake?”

“No thanks.”

“Want to change into your pj’s?”

“Nope. Wearing the fancy dress for as long as possible.”

Taron smiled. “Want a cuddle?”

“If there is one going.”

“Always.”

Robyn kicked her heels off and curled up onto her right side, leaning into Taron’s left, her knees resting on his legs, her head under his chin. She re-thought her position for a second and sat up before Taron could even get his arms around her and carefully took the hair comb from her hair and stretched forward to place it on the coffee table, moving back to Taron, tucking her body into his.

“Just in case.” She said into his shirt. “Thank you Taron.” She prayed he felt the squeeze she gave his side, the light kiss to his chest, hoping he properly understood how much the whole day never mind the evening meant to her.

Taron didn’t answer her but held her close, letting her snuggle right into him, very much enjoying the affection he could feel from her. He had never known her to be so quiet, always having something to say or needing to make sure he was ok but the tables had very much turned and he found himself perhaps for the very first time, because even when Robyn was having an off day, he was still her main priority, willingly letting him take care of her properly for once, letting him in, being a girl for want of a better word. There was no doubt in his mind that his wonderfully strong willed and stubborn Robyn was still there but as he placed a very light kiss on her hair, he very much liked the other side she was showing him, giving him the perfect opportunity to build her trust and be the man she deserved to have in her life.

Robyn lay with her eyes closed in a haze of happiness and love, adoring the beat of his heart under her ear and his stomach moving under her hand every time he breathed and it was always something that calmed her, knowing he was alive and well. She burrowed a little further down his chest and could feel sleep calling her.

“You plan on sleeping here all evening.” Taron whispered to her, feeling her body move a little after being so still against his.

Robyn laughed a little. “Maybe.”

“Would you not prefer a soft comfy bed?”

“You are soft and comfy.” Robyn answered, her eyes opening at she realised the words she had said to him.

Naturally Taron’s heart jumped as her response but he tried to hide it with a laugh. “And sleep in your dress?”

“It’s comfortable.”

“So, it seems.” Taron mused.

“What do you mean.”

“Robyn you’ve been asleep for the near part of the last two hours.”

His words made her sit up fast, surprise written all over her face. She reached for his left arm and her eyes opened when she read the hands on his watch. “Jesus Taron. Sorry! I didn’t even realise I had fallen asleep.”

He only smiled at her. “It’s ok. You seem to need the sleep. You did say you were a little tired earlier.”

“A little tired. Not in the need for a nap again tired.”

“Guess I was too comfy and warm.” He teased “You sure you are feeling ok? You are cold and tired, normally the sign of a cold and being the expert on hiding a cold, I should know.”

“I am normally cold and I guess just too much excitement today. I am sorry I fell asleep on you again.”

“Don’t be sorry. I did it to you last night.”

Robyn looked down as she heard Taron’s stomach rumble, a smile on her face. “I really do believe that you have not eaten all week and it is catching up on you now.” A look of guilt filled Taron’s features and Robyn didn’t miss it. “I know it is quite late but shall we get you something to eat?”

“Well, I had planned on having our little cakes but someone gave them away.”

“You have a large cake in your fridge but surely something more than cake would be better.”

“Chicken it’s after midnight.”

“Has the time ever stopped you eating before?”

“I doubt there is anything in my fridge that can make a meal.”

“Well let’s go and see.” Robyn went to get up from the couch but stopped and sat back down beside him and gave him a firm hug. “I don’t have the proper words to explain to you what today has meant to me and thank you just doesn’t cover it all but thank you.” She took her arms from around him and stood up from the couch, walking into the kitchen. “You want to help me?”

Taron nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat before he got up, praying for his racing heart to slow down, his hands to stop shaking. Just like that his protective Robyn was back and he wished she could just stop for more than two hours and let someone else really take care of her but he would take those two hours over nothing at all and he got to his feet, taking his jacket off as he walked to join her in the kitchen. He threw his jacket back onto the couch and stood beside her as she stared into his fridge.

“So, we got some peppers, mushrooms and milk that has been out of date for five days.”

“And birthday cake.”

“And birthday cake, two slices of left-over pizza and some tomatoes that probably have seen better days but are useable. You are really not eating at home are you.”

“My days are long and there is catering on set. I get home around eleven every night and crash on either the couch or my bed.”

“Breakfast?” Robyn asked him.

“Coffee.” He could feel the disapproving looks rolling his way as she closed the fridge. “I eat, I do.”

“You got any pasta?”

“Somewhere.”  He moved past her and routed through his presses, finally pulling out an unopened packet of penne pasta. “What you thinking?”

“I know it is late but you feel like some pasta bake? Can be put together and made in about half an hour.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Taron followed Robyn’s directions as she asked for different kitchen utensils and as she got the pasta boiling, he was chopping up the peppers. He moved to the mushrooms and Robyn found some garlic and an onion as she looked for a baking dish for their dinner. She chuckled at him as he squinted while cutting the onion, the fumes from the vegetable immediately making him cry.

“Taron no!” Robyn called but her warning was too late and he already rubbed his eyes with his hands and she saw his flinch as his eyes stung more.

“Oh, ow fuck. Ow ow shit!” Taron dug the heel of his hands into his eyes as they reacted to the raw onion on his hands.

Robyn rushed to wet a clean tea towel and ring it out, moving back to Taron. “Here.” She took his hands away, using a little force as he protested. “Let me help you.” She placed her left hand on his right cheek and very lightly rubbed the wet towel over his closed eyes, hearing him groan. “It will take a few wipes.” She swiped his eyes again. “I am going to wet the towel again. Don’t touch your eyes.” Making a second trip to the sink, Robyn quickly wet the tea towel and didn’t ring it out as tight so it still held some water. She moved back to Taron who stood very patiently, his whole face a little pained with his eyes still closed. She used a little bit more pressure this time when cleaning out his eyes, but still being careful. “Ok open for me.” There was some hesitation in his movements and very slowly he opened his eyes, blinking a lot as he tested to see if they still hurt. “Any better?” She asked him.

“Much.” He blinked hard again and felt Robyn take his hands when he went to rub his eyes.

“Let’s not do that again.” His lower lash line was red and she could see he was still feeling a little the irritation from the onions he was cutting. “You have sensitive eyes.” Robyn said still holding the tea towel in her hands in case he needed it.

“Apparently so.”

“Me too.”

“Is that why you asked me to cut the onion?” He took the tea towel from her and wiped both his eyes again, the coldness from the cloth really helping to ease the tingle. “So you wouldn’t cry and do this?”

“Not at all. Just needed some help to cut the vegetables. I didn’t think you were going to rub your eyes with your hands like that. I will finish the onion if you would like.”

“Would you mind?”

“Not at all but let me see you before I give you a different job. I need to make sure you can see properly in case you cut yourself.” Placing her two hands on his cheeks, she ran her thumbs under his eyes. “You will live but I will get you to grate some cheese for me instead and I will finish the onion. Give your hands a really good wash first though.”

“I will.” Feeling a little stupid at what he did, Taron made sure to wash his hands thoroughly twice with soap and the moved the grate the cheese Robyn had set out for him. His eyes were still a little tender but he finished the cheese easily. “What next?”

“Frying pan with a little bit of oil.”

Taron got the heat on his hob going and added the garlic and chopped onion when Robyn gave it to him, giving the start of their base for the sauce a stir. Once it was soft, he took the vegetables from Robyn and added them to the pan and kept an eye on them as behind him Robyn chopped up the tomatoes and then using a potato masher she found, squished them down into a chunky sauce.

“Veg is done.” Taron told her as he gave the nicely browned vegetables in his pan another stir.

“Perfect.” She brought her tomato sauce over and poured it into his pan. “Keep stirring.”

“Yes chef!” Taron called with a light chuckle as he mixed everything together. “I miss this.”

“Miss what?” Robyn asked as she shook in some salt and pepper to the frying pan.

“This. Cooking with you.”

Robyn grinned. “Cooking with me or getting a fresh home cooked meal?”

“Both.” He replied as she threw in a pinch of some herbs, Taron not even knowing he had herbs in his kitchen. “I liked getting to do this in your home every night. It is not something I get to do when I am working so it’s nice to get the chance too.”

“Well, when you have catering and are working, I can understand why you wouldn’t.” Robyn checked the pasta. “But it is nice to cook something yourself.” She lifted the saucepan from the hob and moved to the sink, using the lid the drain the water from the pasta. “A home cooked meal is always enjoyable.”

“Yep. This is bubbling.”

“That’s ok. You can turn the heat off and come over to me with the pan.” Robyn now stood at the island with the drained saucepan of pasta. “Just pour it in here unless you want a smooth sauce. We will have to blitz it.”

“Nope I am ok with the chunks of vegetables.”  He carefully spooned the sauce into the pasta and as he put the frying pan into the sink, Robyn mixed their pasta bake together. He came to stand next to Robyn and then had a second thought and walked to the coffee table to get his phone, turning his camera on as he walked back to his island. “Smile.” Robyn looked to him and smiled after he had taken his first photo.

“What are you doing?”

“I never got the photos last time of us making sandwiches in the fancy fancy clothes. I am not making that mistake again.”

Robyn grinned as she looked to her dress. “It is what we do in your London home now isn’t it.”

“Seems to be.”

Robyn transferred the pasta and sauce into the pyrex baking dish. “You want to sprinkle the cheese on top?”

“Please.” Taron added more cheese then was probably necessary to the top of the pasta. “Oven?” He asked once done.

“Yep.” Robyn opened the oven for him and he carefully placed the dish on the middle shelf and closed the oven door. “And in fifteen minutes or so we shall have some pasta bake.”

“That gives me enough time to change.” Taron said. “And if you want to take the dress off, you can too though I know you are becoming partial to a fancy dress.”

“I think it might be nice to put something slightly more comfortable on.” She ran her hands down the side of her dress. “And you know, in case I use you a pillow again, may as well be appropriately dressed for that.”

Taron nodded and they walked to the bedroom, pulling his shirt from his trousers and opening the buttons as he walked. “Fifteen minutes enough time for you?” He asked as he sat on the bed to take his shoes off.

“Loads. Won’t take me long.” Robyn took her toiletry bag from her case and some clothes to change into. “I will take the bathroom.”

Robyn closed the bathroom door behind her, dropping all of her belongings on the ground. She looked in the mirror and once again was taken back by the woman who stared back at her. A flush on her cheeks, a glint in her eye and with her whole posture straight and tall, Robyn smiled to herself. It had been a long time since she felt so comfortable in a man’s presence and the fact that twice in the last twelve hours, she had fallen asleep in Taron’s arms, just said so much to her. Not to mention that her emotional reaction in the theatre hadn’t made him run away either. She sighed and knew she had passed that point of no return where she would do anything for Taron and although that had been her way since she had met him, now it was because she loved him and loved him dearly. She quickly took off her make-up and unpinned her hair, tying it up out of the way, slipping into a pair of black running shorts and blue long-sleeved t-shirt, a sports bra on underneath. She left her toiletry bag in the bathroom, knowing she would need it in the morning and carried her dress out, giving the bedroom door a knock before she walked in.

“Come on in Robyn. You don’t have to knock.”

“Just in case you are in your nudey nudes.” Robyn chuckled as she walked into his room, Taron in his own pair of shorts and a t-shirt, hanging his suit back up in his wardrobe.

“No such luck chicken.”

Robyn laughed a little and put her dress on his bed, taking her garment bag from her case so she could keep her dress neat and tidy by placing it inside it. Once zipped up, she placed it laying across her case, Taron coming to stand beside her.

“Something smells cooked in the kitchen.”

“Probably our very late-night dinner. We should have stuck with the cake and some tea.”

“Really?” Taron asked as they walked back to the kitchen.

“Yep. It is so late. You are not going to sleep.”

“Robyn, do you even know me at all? Sleeping is my favourite thing to do and sleeping on a full stomach? My second favourite thing to do.” He stopped in front of the oven and carefully opened the door. “And that is done.” The cheese was a golden yellow colour and bubbling in the heat of the oven. “And looks delicious.”

Robyn watched Taron lifted the hot dish of dinner from the oven and placed it carefully on a heat resistant coaster so it wouldn’t burn his countertop. She grabbed two plates and put them in the oven before he closed the door and then turned the oven off. “The heat will warm up the plates for us so the pasta doesn’t go on a cold plate.”

Less than a minute later, Robyn took the hot plates out and Taron happily dished their home cooked meal out, Robyn stopping him from filling her plate too much.

“This smells amazing.” He said as he took a seat on a stool at his island. “Thanks for cooking this.”

“We did it together.” As Taron tucked into his food, Robyn filled two glasses of water for them, placing one in front of him. “Thank you. So good.” He said through a mouth of food.

Robyn smiled and sat beside him, picking up her own fork and tasting their pasta bake, agreeing with his comments. Their last meal, if you could call it a meal, was their afternoon tea which was over ten hours ago and the tasty pasta was filling and perfect even if they were eating dinner near one in the morning. Taron went for another scoop while Robyn filled her glass with some more water. She sat back on her stool, smiling as Taron polished off all of the food on his plate.

“I have a question.” He said to her as he picked up his glass of water.

“Shoot.”

“You admit to being cold but yet insist on wearing shorts to sleep in.”

Robyn smiled into her glass. “Well because you insist that we have to share a bed and we both know you just ooze heat from your core, I have to comprise by wearing shorts.”

“You don’t wear them at home?”

Robyn shook her head. “Pyjama bottoms.”

“So, the shorts are just for me?” He grinned, laughing when Robyn rolled her eyes and slapped his arm lightly. “Anything to be cosy right?”

“Yep.” She said through a yawn. “Oh sorry. No idea where that came from.”

“It has been a busy day.”

“It’s been a most perfect day.” She corrected.

“Let’s tidy this up and hit the hay. We can turn a movie on. You can choose.”

Robyn smiled at him. “Any movie?”

Taron went to speak but stopped realising what he had agreed too. He sighed. “Your choice.” He waited for her to pick one of his movies, waiting for her to say Rocketman but she surprised him when she told him he could choose. “Wait what?”

“I will watch anything and you know that.”

“Except anything scary.”

“Except anything scary.” She agreed. “Going by my sleep pattern today, I will probably be asleep before you, so you can pick.”

They tidied up the kitchen, putting their used plates in the dishwasher and once they had wiped the counters and sink and put the left-over pasta in the fridge too, Taron turned off all the lights and followed Robyn towards the bedroom.

“Give me two minutes.” She had stopped at the bathroom.

“Sure.”

After she used the toilet and brushed her teeth, she turned off the light and walked into the bedroom. Taron was still in his bathroom but she climbed up onto his bed, taking her side and slipping her legs under his duvet, shuffled down and laid her head back on the pillow. Her eyes automatically closed and she felt another yawn coming through, her hands covering her mouth as she stretched happily. She settled comfortably on his soft bed but her eyes opened when she remembered that she left her phone in her clutch bag on his couch. She kicked her legs to get the duvet off so she could get up to go and get it.

“What did my duvet do to you?” Taron asked as he wandered out of his bathroom.

“I left my phone on the couch. I was going to get it.”

“You stay there. I will get it. Mine is in the kitchen too.”

It took Taron less than a minute to grab their phones and he closed his bedroom door when he came back into his room. He handed Robyn her phone and crawled over the bottom of the bed to get to his side but crawled back when he remembered he hadn’t turned off the main light. They were plunged into darkness for about five seconds as Taron made his way across the bed again and was able to turn his bedside light. He slid his legs under his duvet too and laid back against his pillows. Picking up the TV remote, he turned his flatscreen on and went straight to Netflix, doing a quick scroll before settling on a random adventure type movie. Although Robyn said she would probably fall asleep pretty quickly, now that he was cosy in his bed, he felt the same and wasn’t too concerned with the movie he chose. He turned to lay on his left side, his arm under his head, looking to Robyn who was on her back, her hands on her stomach, fingers linked together. She was never one to sleep on her back and her still position made him smile a little.

“So that’s the end of the birthday cuddles then?” He chuckled, her head turning so she could look at him.

“I am just wating for you.”

“Sure.” Taron moved over to her a little and turned over onto his back, so their shoulders were touching. “I think you are just tired.”

“Happily so.” She assured him. “Best birthday ever.” Robyn turned onto her right side, slipping down the pillow so her chin was on his shoulder.

“Now you are ready for a cuddle.” Taron lifted his arm and Robyn moved so her cheek rested fully on his shoulder, her left hand moving to rest over his heart.

“Thanks Taron.”

“Anytime Robyn.”

Taron pulled the duvet up so it covered Robyn to her chin and reaching for the TV remote, he turned off the movie playing in the background and then his bed side light. He had no interest in it and happily closed his eyes enjoying the warmth from Robyn and the way as always, she just fitted right into him. He cherished these moments with her and before, where it was a need that pushed them together in the same bed and possibly convenience, now it was his own selfish need that almost pinned for her feminine curves against his side. Robyn was asleep within minutes of snuggling into him and his mind worried for a moment at her tiredness but with the excitement of the day and the emotional journey she went on, he just figured she was a little jaded. Telling his mind to shut up, to go to sleep, Taron turned his face so his nose was buried into Robyn’s hair and moved to place his right hand over her left which was still placed over his heart.

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 16)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 My Master Post

Remy met the beady little eyes outside the car window with a glare. The cow gazed back at him, a challenge in its eyes. “What are you looking at, future minced meat?” Remy asked.

“They’re dairy cows,” Emile said, head on the steering wheel.

“How the hell would you know?” Remy asked.

Emile looked up at him. “The crashed truck says, ‘Robinson’s Family Dairy.’”

Remy pursed his lips. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

Emile gave him a droll look.

“Maybe they’re the rejects!” Remy turned back to the cow. “I bet you’re too stupid to make milk, huh?”

The cow let out a breath that fogged the window between them.

“Bastard,” Remy grumbled at it.

“You are talking to a cow,” Emile reminded him.

“Oh, like you don’t talk to stuffed animals,” Remy shot back.

“At least I don’t make enemies with them and insult them.”

“She deserves it!”

“She’s just standing there. You’re taking out your frustrations on a farm animal.”

Remy looked back at the cow, his eyes narrowed. Its eyes peered back at him and they did not need to share a language to understand each other in that moment. “I’ll show you a coward,” Remy growled, taking off his seatbelt.

“No, Remy,” Emile hissed. “Don’t you dare.”

Remy ignored him and opened the door to climb out of the car.

“We are on the interstate!”

“Now, you listen here,” Remy said, staring the cow down. “You’ve already caused enough problems for me today. The least you can do is not stare me down in my own…or well my brother’s own car. You feel me?”

The cow stared at him blankly and made a mooing sound.

“Are you understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth right now?”

“I promise you, she isn’t,” Emile offered from the car.

Remy continued to stare the cow down. Finally, after a moment of staring, the cow turned away.

“Ha!” Remy said. “I win.”

“Get back in the car before you get trampled by a herd of cows,” Emile said.

“I’m not going to get trampled,” Remy insisted. “If anything, I’m establishing myself as their ruler.”

“Is this a productive use of your time?” Emile asked.

“Oh, what?” Remy said turning back to him. “And sitting in the car doing nothing is such a better use of my time? Thank you for your input, doctor.”

“Remington, please.”

“Oh, stop with the full name, bullshit,” he turned to cow nearest to him, “no offence intended,” he assured it before turning back to Emile. “You’re not our mother!”

There was a pause. “Remy,” Emile said calmly. “I know you’re upset about Virgil, but...”

“In fact,” Remy talked over him. “I’m older than you! Do you remember who put you through college so you could get that fancy degree you keep using on me tonight? Because it certainly wasn’t our mother because she was already fucking dead! Don’t act like you’re my parent because here’s the thing, I raised you by myself for three years. So, if I’m a shitty dad, you’re definitely fucked up somewhere under that shining topcoat of head doctor crap.”

“I never at any point said-” Emile started, but Remy cut him off.

“Oh, but we both know you’re thinking it!”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Remy.”

“No, no,” Remy said. “I know exactly what’s going through your head. I never should have been a parent, and I proved that with you when you were a teenager, but I still managed to knock up literally the worst person I could. I’m constantly making horrible parenting decisions and even when I try to be responsible, I mess it up. Virgil’s third word was a curse word and I’m lucky he never developed scurvy because I let him eat whatever he wants. He’s currently on a cross-country road trip with god knows who because I fucked up a covert mission I had no business being on and now he’s being tracked down by the woman who shot me with a poisoned bullet. I’m a horrible person and a worse dad. That’s what you’re thinking.”

There was a second where his brother looked at him with his stupid annoying face. “Have you considered that you’re projecting.”

“Ugh!” Remy threw up his hands and turned to walk away.

“Remy where are you going?” Emile called after him.

“I’m walking to base to go get my kid!” Remy called back.

“It’s over 70 miles away!”

He turned around and spread out his arms. “Then I’ll ride a bloody cow! It’ll be faster at this rate!”

“They’ll be cleared up in a few minutes Remy, come back here!” Emile said. Remy flipped him off. “I am not following you on foot!”

“Good!”

Remy turned back around and strutted off down the interstate, skirting cows and police officers the whole way. He grumbled to himself and refused to turn back even when he was pretty sure by the flow of traffic that the accident must have been cleared 15 minutes later.

This was so stupid. Why was he so stupid and useless? Emile was probably glad he ran off like a petulant toddler so he wouldn’t have to deal with him. He’d probably be more effective finding Virgil without Remy messing it all up anyway. He kept walking.

After a couple minutes a car slowed and stopped next to him on the side of the road. Remy looked up to meet Emile’s eyes through the rolled down window.

“Get,” Emile said firmly, “in the damned car.”

Remy blinked in surprise and then hurried to do so.

Emile didn’t speak again until the car was back at a normal speed. “His first word was ‘dad,’” he said, “and he’s happy. I’m not a parent, but from what I’ve observed, parents are allowed to mess up. As long as they do their best and their kid knows they’re loved, they’re a pretty good parent. If you ask me, you’re a good dad.”

“Yeah, well his second word was ‘pizza,’ so I don’t know if it makes me that special,” Remy grumbled.

Emile glanced at him.

“I mean,” Remy continued. “Thank you and sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Emile said. “You know I love you right?”

“Oh, god don’t get all mushy on me.”

“I’m serious,” Emile said. “I’ve been angry at you this entire trip because if you’d died today, I don’t know how I would have handled it. You were reckless, and it could have easily gotten you killed.”

“Don’t you think I know I’m stupid.”

“Stop that,” Emile snapped. “That’s not what I said.”

“Well then, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, why, Remy?” Emile said. “Are you bored? Do you want to go back in the field?”

“No,” Remy said quietly.

“Are you sure?” Emile asked. Remy didn’t answer. “If you do, that’s fine.”

“It’s not though.”

“You’re the one who made that decision and it was 15 years ago,” Emile reminded. “If you want to change your mind, that’s fine, but if you’re going to do it, you can’t just go do it. You have to talk to Logan first, to me, to your kid. Your actions affect other people.”

“I know that.”

“I know you know that, but you just…You get so involved in your head sometimes and forget to think about the consequences. Or worse you ignore them because they’re too hard to think about.”

Remy reached forward and turned on the radio.

“Really?!” Emile asked.

“Chill,” Remy said, turning the volume down, “I just don’t want to have another cow disaster.”

Emile nodded and seemed content to wait for him a few minutes so he could gather his thoughts.

“I’m trying, Em,” Remy said. “Bless their souls, but I’m trying to not be our parents. It’s like walking a tightrope. Go too far one way, you’re an asshole, go too far the other your kid’s running from his mother’s hired guns and throwing out the tracking device you put on him because he thinks you’re dead.”

“It should have to feel like that for you.”

“Yeah?” Remy asked. “And how do you propose I stop it?” Emile looked over at him and opened his mouth. “Yeah, yeah, see a therapist. Do you have any suggestions that don’t require me to bare my soul and talk about my daddy issues to some random person?”

“No.”

“Rats.” Emile chuckled at him.

“If it’s any consolation, they would have hated how you turned out. I mean they 100% would have still loved you and would have adored Virgil, but you’d get so many side-eyes over the dinner table. I mean, a child out of wedlock, Remy?”

“They’d have tried to get me to marry her,” Remy said. “Then I would have introduced them to her, and they would’ve said ‘fuck that.’ Do you think I could have gotten dad to say, ‘fuck that’?”

Emile giggled. “That would have been weird.”

Remy hummed in agreement. Then they petered off into silence. “I love you too Em.”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 17

[seawitchkaraoke]

Looking fetching

Ao3 link in the notes, spoilers for A Killing Frost.

Simon hadn't meant to lie to October, not really. It's just that it hadn't seemed important and by the time Acacia asked if he was Sylvester's fetch, he didn't want to interrupt their search for his daughter with long explanations, which would undoubtedly have been needed, had he answered "yes".

And it hadn’t truly been a lie. He had never once described Eira as "his" firstborn, merely the Daoine Sidhe firstborn and when he told Acacia he was Sylvester's brother, it was true. October would understand that, she called the Lady May her sister as well after all.

So yes, he had excuses and he hadn't technically lied and surely October would understand. It had been drilled into him never to tell anyone his true nature after all, he had long since learned to mirror the magic of the Daoine Sidhe as much as possible and if he was better with transformations than he had any right to be, well, he was simply talented.

And yet.

And yet when October said, again, that it wasn't his fault, he couldn't have resisted Eira, her being his firstborn after all, and Dianda and Patrick, his Patrick, who he had never told, were right there.... He knew it didn't matter. If he wanted a chance at redemption, he had to be honest.

So.

"She isn't my firstborn"

Silence. Dianda and Patrick stared at him. So did October and supposedly Tybalt, though the king of cats wasn't in his line of sight.

"what do you mean? You know she's the Daoine Sidhe firstborn, you said so yourself?" October sounded like she was contemplating dragging him back to the sea witch to fix him, since he had clearly lost his mind.

Well. Better explain then.

"Yes, she is the Daoine Sidhe firstborn. She is my brother's firstborn and my father's firstborn, but she isn't my firstborn"

Deep breath. This wouldn't make them hate him any more. Probably.

"I don't know who my firstborn is, but I know it is not her. I- I am not Daoine Sidhe”

He took another breath. Best to just say it, “I am a fetch. Sylvester's fetch, though you could have guessed that I suppose. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it never seemed like the right time and my parents taught me never to tell anyone and I didn't-"

He was babbling, he knew. Somehow, he couldn't stop. He was still holding Patrick's hands, but he couldn't bring himself to look at him, why had he never told him in all the years they had known each other? October might forgive him; she had forgiven worse and they had not, in truth, known one another long but Patrick? Patrick be should have told ages ago

"I'm sorry I misled you, truly, I understand if this changes things, there's really no excuse, I should have told you centuries ago-"

"Simon"

That stopped him. Patrick didn't sound angry, but he didn't exactly sound happy either, and Patrick rarely sounded angry even when he was and-

"Simon, please, look at me"

He couldn't disobey that voice, so soft and insistent and unbearably calm. So, he lifted his head, slowly, and looked into Patrick's eyes, expecting anger or disappointment or betrayal.

All he found was love.

"I never loved you for your species you know?" Patrick smiled wryly "of course I would have preferred it if you had told me - and you really should have - but if I can forgive you turning my son into a tree-"

Simon winced, glancing towards Dean who was a little way away, talking quietly to Quentin "I really am sorry about that"

"as I said, if I can forgive that, I can forgive you not telling me about being a fetch - and sweet Oberon, if I didn't know you so well I'd think you were playing a joke, HOW can you possibly be a fetch?

"yes!" October had finally found her voice "HOW are you a fetch? Shouldn't I have seen that in your memories? Shouldn't Sylvester, you know, be dead?"

"I'd like to know that as well" Tybalt spoke, now, seemingly calm "I've known you an exceedingly long time, and you never showed any indication of being your brother’s death omen"

Simon was about to answer, when Dianda, suddenly snorted.

And then laughed.

And then kept laughing.

And then lost control of her legs and landed on the beach on her long shimmering tail.

“Um”, said Simon, intelligently “are you alright?”

Dianda tried to answer but couldn’t – she was still laughing too hard – so she held a hand up signalling them to give her a minute.

After several minutes, that they all spent staring at Dianda and that Dianda spent trying to calm herself down, only to look up at Simon and lose it all over again, she managed but kept her eyes resolutely away from him.

“of course, you are a fetch”, she said, “why not? I don’t even need an explanation, this is Faerie, this might as well happen”

“….well I’d still truly appreciate an explanation if it is of no inconvenience to you”, said Tybalt.

“okay okay, yes, so. Um.”, Simon stuttered, not really knowing where to begin, “so. You know where fetches come from, right?”

“Yes”, said Tybalt and Toby. “No”, said Patrick and Dianda. They stared at each other.

“Hey, it wasn’t my secret to share!”, Toby held her hands up, warding off Dianda’s stare and taking a step away from her tail – as if that would really save her.

“Alright”, Simon pinched the bridge of his nose, “as far as I know we come from nighthaunts who drink living blood… does that match what your Lady Fetch told you, October?”

“Err, yes but what do you mean ‘as far as you know’? Don’t you remember? Because May remembers, it’s really useful sometimes but also kinda creepy”

“No, I don’t remember…. I didn’t even know I was a fetch for a while. I appeared when Sylvester was still very young – I believe there was an assassination attempt, my father killed the assailant but some of my brother’s blood must have gotten mixed in his - and so his… my… our parents changed my memory and adopted me. Don’t ask how or why they did this; I could only speculate. Possibly they believed that if I could not remember being a death omen that Sylvester would survive”

Toby interrupted at that “but wouldn’t you have noticed? Didn’t your appearance change to match his or you could feel danger and all those…”, she waved her hand, “funky fetch powers?”

Simon sighed, “maybe if I had been older, yes, but I was very young at the time. The only memories I had were Sylvester’s, which I imagined to be my own, and he was just a few years old, only a toddler.”

Toby frowned “okay, never mind that imagining you two as toddlers is just weird, but wouldn’t you have realized as you grew up?”

“I would have yes. I did, in fact, but not in the way you appear to imagine. You know we grew up with your mother –“

Toby nodded, a frown on her face.

“- well. One day we were playing and Sylvester… he fell. He fell and he hit his head and he didn’t get up. My sister and I didn’t know what to do, she ran for our parents and I…”

“you faded.” Toby spoke up again, realization on her face, “you faded, and my mother told you to stop. But… but how did she save Sylvester? She saved me from elfshot by changing my blood, but she couldn’t have done that to him”

“She did not, no. But she- She was only a child but she grabbed the nearest rose and drove the thorns into her skin and when that did not make her bleed as much as she desired, she grabbed more roses and then she grabbed my knife that I used to make little wooden figures and she… she bled. She bled a lot. I don’t know what she did or how it could have been possible, but Sylvester woke and the nighthaunts didn’t come to call either of us home and when my parents arrived they found a lot of blood but no dead child.” He took a breath, “If I did not already love your mother, I think this may have been when I fell. She was so sure and so beautiful and so fearless, and she saved my brother, one of the most important people in my world”, he grew quiet, “at the time, at least”

They took a moment to digest that. Then Patrick, dear Patrick spoke up “that may have been the only selfless thing Amandine ever did. I’m glad she saved you, and him, for your sake, but Sylvester never deserved you”

Simon sighed, “he was a child, Patrick, dearest. We all were. There was no resentment yet in those days, no mistakes that couldn’t be taken back, just four children”, he glanced at Tybalt, “four children and a prince of cats who seemed to appear at random intervals”, he tried to pour amusement into his voice. The others simply stared at him, clearly not impressed by his attempts at joking.

“Be that as it may” Tybalt drawled, clearly unembarrassed by Simon’s mention of him, “pray, continue with your recounting. After this event, did your parents tell you what you were?”

Simon nodded, “they did. They didn’t have much of a choice. Perhaps they could have claimed that the fading of the one when the other died was normal for twins – they are exceedingly rare in Faerie after all – but I would have questioned why my magic was different or perhaps met some other pair of twins eventually. I suppose they deemed it wiser to tell me, so I could learn how to hide as a Daoine Sidhe as best as possible”

“but your magic!”, October burst out, “you can do blood magic and I’ve never seen May do that! I don’t understand”

“Have you ever seen her attempt blood magic, October?”, he asked, but before she could answer, he shook his head and continued, “but no, you are quite right. I am not very good at blood magic. I can do some – just as you are capable of illusions despite having neither flower nor water magic at your disposal – but I am not good. I am however decent at alchemy which can achieve many of the same results. True, I vastly prefer having some time to make a potion out of blood but once I have done so, no one ever questions whether or not what I am doing is truly the result of blood magic as such. I look and act Daoine Sidhe after all and who has ever heard of a fetch existing long enough to learn deception?”

“And you are, as we have seen, surprisingly adept at transformations”, Patrick mused. Simon winced again and glanced towards Dean – still walking along the beach with Quentin – but Patrick did not sound angry, “really I should have seen it ages ago. You never did show me all that much blood magic, but you transformed scraps into new suits on a far too regular basis, when the old one would truly still have served me fine”, he was smiling now and finally Simon allowed his shoulders to sag. Patrick really had forgiven him for the deception.

“you never did learn how to properly dress yourself”, he sighed but was smiling too now, comfortable in the centuries old banter.

“Well, that’s why I married a mermaid”, he grinned, “clothing is really rather optional down there. What’s the point, truly, if it will only get wet?”

Toby exclaimed in protest that when she had been in the undersea, everyone had been clothed, Dianda laughed and backed her husband up that no, it was true, they barely knew what clothes were in her realm, and Simon allowed himself to breathe.

He didn’t know what was to happen to him next. He assumed he would be sent to sleep for a hundred years and he truly could not say he did not deserve that and worse. But at least he could do so, knowing that no more deceptions stood between him and the people he loved so dearly.

[ibijau]

I like you time travel fic I'll let you down if you let me too close! Would nmy happy if he know nhs is alive in another dimension and well? If he have a talk with nhs husband! lxc?

I am what I am

Well that’s not how I planned to spend my morning. It’s also not how I should have spent my morning. But I just love that verse too much and I literally dreamed about answering that ask, so there was no way I could avoid this

The spell was supposed to show Mingjue the place where his brother's soul had become trapped, so it came as a surprise when instead, his own bedroom appeared on the bronze mirror. 

Except it couldn't be his room. For one thing, the place in the mirror was in the dark, as if it were night there, whereas Mingjue was currently bathed in the golden light of early morning. For another, there was something wrong about the room in the mirror, details that did not quite fit with the real thing. 

The presence of a few beautiful painted fan gave him hope that, one way or another, that place was truly linked to his brother. 

Noticing that the bed in the mirror room was occupied, Mingjue came closer. That was how he discovered that one of the occupants was (or looked like) his brother, currently plastered against the chest of… 

"Xichen?" he cried out in surprise. 

But that, as well, was impossible. His husband was in their office, taking care of sect business to give Mingjue the chance to try this spell in peace. 

More importantly, the Huaisang in the mirror was tenderly holding this Xichen look-alike at the waist, in an almost laughable display of affection. In truth, and for reasons he had never shared, Huaisang had taken a strong dislike to Xichen around the time of the Sunshot Campaign and always avoided him. Mingjue had tried to question him, but his brother had been more slippery than an eel when the mood struck him. 

Mingjue was about to end the spell, since it had obviously failed, but the Xichen in the mirror room opened his eyes, as if he had heard his name called, and cried out in shock as he looked towards Mingjue. 

"You ! How?" 

So it appeared that he was visible to the inhabitants of this mirror room and, judging by the horror on mirror-Xichen’s face, his presence was not particularly welcome. It hurt, in some indescribable way, to bring that reaction even in a false version of his husband.

“I was looking for Huaisang,” Mingjue explained.

The fear in mirror-Xichen’s expression only increased. He pulled Huaisang closer against him, wrapping his arms around him, in a way not unlike what the real Xichen did when Mingjue became overcome with everything that had happened to him.

“Mingjue, please,” mirror-Xichen begged. “I don’t know how you can be here, Wei Wuxian said… it doesn’t matter. Please, don’t do this to your brother. He’s only now starting to recover.”

“Recover? From dying?”

Mirror-Xichen’s eyes widened in shock, his grasp on Huaisang tightening so much that the younger man sleepily protested it. Mirror-Xichen had to relax his grip, looking down at him with unbearable affection that made Mingjue uneasy with how similar to his husband this mirror creation acted.

“Mingjue, you’re the one who died,” mirror-Xichen calmly said. “You had a Qi deviation, don’t you remember?”

“No, that’s… that’s him,” Mingjue protested. “He had a Qi deviation in Yi-City, he… I’d sent him away, I left him on his own and he died.”

Recognition dawned on mirror-Xichen’s eyes who gasped.

“So his ritual had really worked,” he mumbled, looking at Huaisang with an anguished expression. “I thought… I hoped it had been an illusion. But he did it. He really saved you.”

“Saved me?”

Mirror-Xichen closed his eyes for a second, lifting his head and taking a deep breath, just like the real one did whenever he needed to calm his thoughts. With great care, he extricated himself from Huaisang’s hold so he could leave the bed. Mingjue, who had seen his husband nude more times than he could count, found himself looking away from this other version of him even though mirror-Xichen had pants and a loosely attached top on him. There was an intimacy there that Mingjue felt he had no right to, that belonged to this other Xichen and Huaisang, of all people.

“Huaisang told me about what happened in… in the place where you are,” mirror-Xichen explained. “But here, things went differently. Here you were murdered before we could marry, although… we did not know at first that it was a murder, not for years. Huaisang is the one who found out and made sure you were avenged. Then he decided that it wasn’t enough, that he had to find a way to keep you alive… and here you are. Your brother is a stubborn man and what he wants, he gets.”

“The two of you…”

Mirror-Xichen looked down.

“Your mother did not want to lose the alliance. We married as soon as the mourning period was over.”

That certainly sounded like something Mingjue’s mother would have demanded. She had not always been an unkind woman, he remembered the days before his father took a second spouse, but… there was no denying she had grown bitter over the years. If he had died, she would have suffered and wanted everyone to suffer with her.

“I missed you,” mirror-Xichen whispered, refusing to meet his eyes. “I never stopped missing you. I always wondered if you’d hate me for finding happiness again, and like this…”

Feeling struck by realisation, Mingjue’s eyes went from the man who wasn’t his husband to the sleeping shape of his brother.

It was so deeply unpleasant for Mingjue to think of Xichen, his husband, the love of his life, in the arms of another, even after being told it had happened because in the mirror world, they had never gotten a chance to marry. He could not imagine what it must have been like for Huaisang, all these years. Suddenly, it made sense why he had always avoided Xichen, why he was so often gone from the Unclean Realm.

“Do you hate me, Mingjue?” mirror-Xichen insisted, finally looking at him again. “For loving him too?”

The question surprised him. His first thought was that yes, he would hate Xichen for this, for taking his little brother to bed after he was gone, for betraying him.

But this was not his Xichen, and he was not that man’s Mingjue. Who was he to judge that man in the mirror? He did not like the idea of Xichen smiling at another man, and it made him gag to think of anyone touching his husband, but…

His eyes went again to Huaisang, looking more peaceful in his sleep than Mingjue had seen him since long before the war, and thought of the way he’d been holding on to mirror-Xichen when he had never been one to let close to him, when he tended to shun to touch of others. He remembered that last, cold hug between them after he’d been forced to exile Huaisang for crimes he refused to deny. And yet he’d been so relaxed in the arms of his… his husband, apparently.

“Is he happy?”

The question appeared to surprise mirror-Xichen, who turned to look at Huaisang as well, concern showing on his face.

“We are getting there again, I think,” he replied with some hesitation. “It has been… difficult. The things he did here to avenge you, the ones he did in your world to save you, they took their toll on him. He is just starting to recover. But we’ve been happy together before, the two of us, and we will be again as he continues healing.”

Mingjue nodded, satisfied with that answer. He did not think his brother had ever been happy, except perhaps while he studied in the Cloud Recesses. Once he returned there had always been something off with his smiles, especially after the war.

“Are you happy, Xichen?”

To this, there was no hesitation. The man in the mirror nodded right away, fighting a smile.

“He’s impossible, but I wouldn’t trade what we have.”

A pain of pain and betrayal shot through Mingjue’s heart at that easy admission, but… 

They had managed to decipher some of the notes Huaisang had left behind. He knew what his brother had been trying to do when he died, the way he’d looked for ways to prevent Qi deviations and how he had experimented on himself. Mingjue had thought it had been fear for his own life, but he now wondered if this, too, had been for his sake instead.

Mingjue might not like the way things were in that mirror world, but his brother deserved to be loved, deserved the fondness in that other Xichen’s voice and eyes.

“I’d never hate either of you for being happy,” Mingjue said at last. “Not even like this.”

The man in the mirror smiled at him, clearly relieved, as if being hated by Mingjue had really hung heavy on his mind. It soothed some of Mingjue’s discomfort that his good opinion would still matter, even if he had apparently left that Xichen’s life years before.

“I will let you be,” Mingjue sighed. “I just… we’d figured there was something wrong with Huaisang’s soul, it seemed to be gone, I was worried… I’m glad he’s fine. I’m glad he’s happy.”

“Will you ever… return?” Mirror-Xichen asked, looking conflicted.

Mingjue shook his head. He knew what he needed to know. He was glad for those two men in the mirror world, but the idea of seeing his husband staring so lovingly at another man was too unpleasant.

“Take care of him for me,” he demanded. “I’ve done a poor job of it, so I’m counting on you.”

He watched mirror-Xichen nod solemnly, and ended the spell, making the image on the bronze mirror disappear.

For a long while Mingjue stared into nothingness, still unsure how to feel about this conversation, how to go on with his day after learning so much at once.

In the end, he carefully put down the mirror back where it belonged, and left the room to seek his husband’s company. They probably had work to do, they always did, but it would have to wait. Right then, Mingjue needed to be at Xichen’s side, and to be reminded that here, in this kinder world, they would always have each other.