#I am feeling too lazy today
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Since I feel too much of a lazy bum today, I am creating a SchmendrickXMolly playlist (under the excuse that then I will have music I can listen to while I study and write the book reviews I must write before the deadline crashes on me).
Somewhere Only We Know – Keane
L’Apprendista Stregone (The Sorcerer Apprentice) – Angelo Branduardi
Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own – U2
Do It Again – Stroke 9 (because they also need some profane love)
Downtown Lights – Annie Lennox version
All The Small Things - blink-182
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out – The Smiths
Fix You – Coldplay
If It Be Your Will – Leonard Cohen
(Just Like) Starting Over - John Lennon
The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel
Il Tuo Culo E Il Tuo Cuore (Your Ass And Your Heart) – Roberto Vecchioni (because Schmendrick is all about singing a love song for Molly while complimenting her booty... the song is much more poetic than the title suggests, I promise)
Just Like Heaven – The Cure
The Wolf Is Getting Married – Sinead O’Connor
Original Of The Species – U2
She Is – The Fray
Abbracciala, Abbracciali, Abbracciati (Hug Her, Hug Them, Hug Yourself) – Lucio Battisti
Angel’s Song – Debbie Harry
We All Go Back To Where We Belong – R.E.M.
Do You Realize?? – The Flaming Lips
Gong – Sigur Ros
Venus as a Boy - Björk
Il Mio Canto Libero (My Song of Freeedom) – Lucio Battisti
#The Last Unicorn#TLU#schmendrick#molly grue#schmolly#schmolly playlist#tried to avoid songs too corny for them#a few are in italian#I can provide a translation#I am feeling too lazy today
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Not much else to say about this one…
#lackadaisy#lackadaisy cats#lackadaisy memes#lackamemey#ivy pepper#freckle mcmurray#rocky rickaby#lackadaisy ivy#lackadaisy rocky#lackadaisy freckle#lackadaisy animation#indie animation#i got too lazy to tag all the characters today#i took a walk at a fancy park clear across town and my legs now feel like jelly#fancytown is not my scene#too fancy#i am a gremlin actually
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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finished (i think) fit for the concert + not pictured black platform boots
#i think i am finished but if you have any ideas feel free to comment#also my makeup will be dark smokey eye that is also decided and my hair is too clean rn and i didn’t wanna use gel#but the slicked back pony with little braids . And i want to put black ribbon i was just too lazy today#anyway i love it 🤓🖤#ok2rb!#fits
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he’s performing a gay ass magic act
✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽
#whimsy whispers#crystalart.png#crystals ocs#dnd#character design#dungeons and dragons#dungeons & dragons#lanturn#lanturn lustre#tiefling#tieflings#god I feel like this is so boring and I can’t place why#the background doesn’t help but it also don’t the main issue#as I type this (tag I am currently writing not the prev ones) it is 3:04am and I am being so smart and scheduling this to post tomorrow#(technically today) because i don’t trust myself not to forget to post again it happens so often I cannot be trusted to remember anything#‘did you remember x’ ‘can you remind me to x’ no and no#anyways this shit is scheduled now#I should also save other art as drafts and schedule those but I’m not gonna#<- plausible deniability I’m sleepy and it’s 3am but actual answer is I’m too lazy to grab my tablet and save the art then open tumblr on my#tablet and do everything like I’m just not in the mood besties#also I need to figure out if my dumb meme art should be all one post or like separate#so yah all this to say: this will be posted Monday (today) so help me GOD Z#ignore that random ass Z
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i fear knight!sugu will have to wait until tmrw this is my final deadline though ‼️‼️ need this fic to turn out good i cant betray my wives (the moots) :’3
#im too used to posting on saturdays & sundays doing it on a friday just wouldnt feel right ☹️☹️ i cant betray my babies !!#<- (was too lazy to finish the proofreading today)#im also sensing dead vibes from dash …… saturday is safest i just know it . i am receiving suguru’s divine guidance#this gives me some time to catch up on asks before i go to sleep too hehe#ari noises ✩
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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just me and my dear bipedal robot dancing
#robot art#robot love#robot x human#ive said robot too much today and it doesnt seem like a word anymore lol#also how tf do you draw robots#too lazy to learn yet have the great need to draw them more precise and good looking#I've recently found out about the robots that peeps of the robot community are simping for and am deeply invested#might make art of them too in the future if i feel like it#have u noticed that i am unable to draw hands that well#doodle#robofucker#robophilia
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good morning!! <33
#i'm so glad i don't have to do anything today#like i slept better last night but still under the weather#so more laziness#i /am/ planning on watching the raf card from misty invasions tonight (since i didn't manage to pull it)#i'll watch xavier's tomorrow (kinda hoping it kicks him back into my mind palace a bit more bc my attention's been waning on him lol)#other than that- i'm gonna finish up the hsr event as i promised#i /should/ have the energy to do that at least#i honestly should be more excited about the genshin update but I'm too tired#hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow so i can actually start exploring & whatnot#but anyways i hope today/tonight is kind to you! <33#morning rambles
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when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool) 💚
Thank you! 🖤
Here are some i have been listening to a lot lately:
#asks#and i have way too many faves so since i don't want anyone to feel left out#and also because i am feeling way too lazy today ngl#all my moots can feel free to share their 5 songs here if they would like to ♥
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you guys... if you have the means to seek help for mental illness, please do it. it's not a waste of money I promise.
don't be like me, a person so riddled with anxiety and executive dysfunction that I cancel on job interviews just because I cannot fathom being perceived and judged by people I potentially have to work with for the next 10 years or so
#personal#cancelled a job interview today bc it was in a location i have ptsd from#which sucks cuz the environment looks great (through the website) and the job description is great too#but location give me ptsd so in the end i cannot even get up to change clothes bc of how f king scared i am#i wish i had money to get a legal diagnosis so ppl would stop calling me lazy and shit#but i have to save my money for my brother's and mum's medical bills bc they always have appts#i cant afford to get help for myself bc then who's gonna pay for theirs#i feel so bad too... my mum is so understanding letting me take my time to find a job#but then any f2f interview i get i panic and shut down and cancel it... like... why do i do that#for real guys if you're mentally unstable but can afford to get meds or therapy or anything JUST DO IT#i promise it'll be better for you in the long run
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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately
#art#i'll be yapping in the tags#its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually#ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear#“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic#in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that#but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess#we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen#i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live#but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean#the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet#it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before#i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs#the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze#now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of#im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it#because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment#i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes#i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then#i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it#perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills#and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain#perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing#one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck#but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane#next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century#thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye#i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft
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my hobgoblin boy be. gobblin
#i feel a bit tired today and am forcing myself to take a break so i drew...#my art#i would love to play this boy in bg3 and i would#but im too lazy to download mods to become a hobgoblin#so i just have to wait until dec to play campaign#he's actually a fleshwarp but :3c no one rly plays pf
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Mom: this hairstyle looks good in you
Me, with Hyunjin's signature hairstyle: thanks, you should see the original
#i am too lazy to do anything with my hair#so it's usually just left alone#today i was feeling fancy as i had plans to meet with friends#potat rambles
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quick it’s 7 am push your enby-in-high-valyrian trans rhaegar agenda.
this explains it way better than me.
#headcanon. rhaegar targaryen.#headcanon. rhaegar targaryen. more god than man.#[it’s 650 am#and I have been awake since uhhhhhh 4 am and I am dying of a migraine. I pray the excedrin helps. I have my next after school today. I’m so#nervous. but I didn’t come here to whine about education I came here to be awake way too long because my dog doesn’t feel good. and I stayed#awake all night just holding her so she could sleep comfortably. her poor ear. it’s fine tbh I can nap when I’m done later. I got D&D later#with my brothers.#ANYHOW apply logic here as in: don’t.#if I remember correctly kryptonian lends itself strongly to neutral pronouns and also another gender binary entirely.#and I don’t recall it high Valyrian does the same but I believe it does. and if it doesn’t I’m gonna figure out how to conjugate it.#(ixian is a language kitty speaks it and I could even write it but I don’t want to follow my own conjugation rules)#(I’m lazy and tired it’s 6:54 am)#rhaegar favors high Valyrian sometimes for his singing as well because the commonfolk aren’t exactly fluent in high Valyrian and he can#be whatever he wants in that language and have it not be noticed.#high Valyrian isn’t explicitly neutral but I remember reading it works by solar and lunar genders (solar= male and lunar#=female) and it’s similar to Greek or Spanish where words are masculine or feminine. (the ocean is a lady in Greek and a dude in Spanish).#English doesn’t have that. English doesn’t possess a male or female pronoun system.#but like for example. in Greek if it ends in ‘o’ it’s masculine and ‘a’ it’s feminine. but what about other words???#‘I’ is a plural at the end! so it is ‘masculine plural’. which means ‘skilo’ (dog) (masculine) becomes ‘skilì’ (dogs)#but the basic assumption default is often masculine. so in high Valyrian ‘prince’ (if you take the prince that was promised prophecy for#linguistic reference) ‘prince’ is not a ‘prince’ as in ‘masculine’ but a role. the gender is automatically assumed -in English-. in high#Valyrian however ‘prince’ in the prophecy is ‘gender neutral’ as in… basically a job. it’s a job. like ‘teacher’. you can be any gender#teacher. you can be any gender prince. okay. guess I just reconfigured high Valyrian how I wanted to.#(don’t come for me my old url was gelenkadarilaros and rhae rhae is my child) also I haven’t watched hotd or read anything that came out#after dance with dragons. I’m woefully unlearned but this ^^^ is called ‘it’s my blog I do what I want.’ and rhaegar gets described so#femininely that cersei uses 7000 ‘girly’ adjectives to describe him. rhae’s just -beautiful-. it’s his main trait other than sorrowful. I#adore him and would kill for him… except he’s dead so guess that’s off the table. THANKS FOR KILLING HIM BEFORE THE ACTUAL PLOT AND ONLY#GIVING ME VAGUE BITS TO GO WITH GEORGE I APPRECIATE IT. I’m so tired oh my god.#anyway rhae’s a ‘prince’ (neutral) and I’m not saying he Is The prince that was promised it’s just the example. I have ANOTHER hc explaining#my thoughts on that one. it’s over somewhere. okay I’m going back to sleep.]
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aaaaaaaaaaa work is so overwhelming just now I feel like my brain may explode
#red said#i can't tell if i have too much to do or if I'm just being disorganised in doing it!!!!!!#but i was meant to have a full data report done by tomorrow and i haven't found more than 20 straight minutes this week to look at it#the new boss keeps ASKING ME THINGS and ASKING ME TO DO THINGS#and the fucking. readability argument filled up SO MUCH of Monday and Tuesday with both back and forth and silent seethe#i have to be in all her meetings and she's sending me a bazillion things for social media#and my colleague's off on leave so I'm picking up his social channels too except I'm NOT cause i don't know what to PUT on them#need to put together a new video ad by next Friday#need to do like 5 more blogs#and the staff newsletter! gotta get that out by lunchtime!!!! haven't started it!!!!!!!#3 meetings today. gotta do vo recording tomorrow. and both today and tomorrow are short days#cause i have therapy today and I'm taking kofi for a Birthday Treat tomorrow afternoon so i gotta knock off at 12:30#it's all very well to say work to live not live to work AND I DO but the expectations remain!!!!!!#and i feel like I'm failing and being lazy if i can't easily do everything that's asked of me. is my problem.#it's very important to have a manager who understands that their job with me isn't too drive me forwards#but to manage the amount of work that hours my desk because I WILL try to do all of it and i WILL usually manage#but it will absolutely fuck me long term#crying wailing i miss my manager 😭 10 months!!!! come back!!!!!!!#we don't always have the most idyllic work relationship but she knows me very well and i trust her to help not hinder with my stress levels#and also like if i tell her i am spiralling like this she would always help me prioritise#but i don't yet know or trust the mat cover well enough to talk to her about overwhelm. and i feel the need to establish myself first.#like I gotta prove that I'm hardworking and reliable and that when i say i can't cope i mean it and I'm not trying to dodge work#which. boy. working life as a disabled person sure does colour your thinking huh.#gotta first prove I'm EXCEPTIONALLY committed and hardworking and Good At Job BEFORE i can allow myself to struggle
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