alias-parody

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Vaughn : You played me like a fiddle! Jack : Oh no, fiddles are actually difficult to play, I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

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Jack : If a stranger came up to you and said “I’m your dad's friend he told me to pick you up” what would you say? Sydney : I’d say “You're lying my dad doesn’t have any friends!” Jack :

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Vaughn : My head hurts. Jack : That's just your brain trying to comprehend your own stupidy

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Sydney : Wait, Stop! Think! Jack : No, no and no

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Jack: Well, atoms never touch each other. Since we are made of atoms, we have never touched anything our whole lives. Sydney:... Jack: So, to answer your question, no, I didn't punch Vaughn in the face.

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Irina : Don't be scared I don't bite Sydney : But do you stab? Irina : Irina : I don't bite

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Nadia : What was Rule Number 2 again? Jack : Nobody gets hurt, that’s a big one. Nadia : Then why isn't it Rule Number 1?

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Jack : Listen, Sydney, when’s the last time anything went according to plan? Sydney : I don't think there was a last time.

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Vaughn : Jack, we need to talk Jack : That has never been true.

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Sydney : Mom, when’s your birthday? Irina : Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me? Sydney : ... So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

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Jack : You know that your mother would throw herself in front of car for you Sydney : Mom would throw herself in front of a car just for fun

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Sydney : My mother saw my skill in art and said I should go into NFTs and I said no, those are scams. She said "I know, I want you to scam people."

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Irina : Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, a few people died... Sydney : Twelve, actually Irina : Not the point. They're all dead now and who's fault was that? Sydney : Yours! Irina : That's right, no one's

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Jack : I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Jack : Like silence. Jack : The absence of noise. Jack : Just one single moment, undisturbed by sound...

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Vaughn : WHO REPLACED THE DEFINITION OF IDIOT WITH MY NAME IN ALL THE DICTIONARIES?!?! Irina whispering to Jack : He can read??

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Sloane : What are you, five? Weiss : Yeah five heads taller than you! Weiss : Sloane : Weiss : Please don't kill me...

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Sloane : Do I need to repeat myself? Sydney : No need, I ignored you just fine, the first time.