#I am cursed with puns | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luna-loveboop · 1 year ago

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“That’s rough bun- buddy.”

#I think this every time I see it #“that’s rough buddy #and he’s a dog so #that’s ruff bunny #I am cursed with puns #ugh #Lu #linked universe #linkeduniverse #Lu legend #Lu twilight

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abneyart · 2 months ago

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VEILGUARD ARMOR SPOILERS

I'm so excited about the Mourn Watch mage armor--really digging the mortician vibe matching the faction! I've kind of been dying to have a really death positive OC or one in the death profession, so this was the perfect opportunity. I also think the joke of Solas hating death (since he put up the Veil, since elves became mortal), and him having to live inside the head of one of those mortal elves who finds decomposition beautiful.

#Veilguard spoilers #abneyart #fanart #dragon age #emmrich volkarin #Solas #rook #rook ingellvar #Ness #I just noticed the pun this is my curse smh #if you wanna pretend I did it on purpose feel free but the evil truth is I am a goofball with no self awareness 😔

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rui-drawsbox · 1 month ago

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ruri,,, but in keyframes by @blank-house (again) ((help im obsessed this is not a joke))

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potato-cat-chips · 7 months ago

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Ladies and gentlemen… ✨ Catto Kid ✨

And a very smol and very angry:

✨ Meowtantei Conyan ✨

(For reference he is about the size of a smaller-than-average potato)

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thekeatoncadet · 26 days ago

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Drew some background/minor characters to purge the brainworms. Unclear if it worked or not.

#kee draws #oc #oc art #furry art #hmmm am I going to tag them all #ig? maybe i'll draw them again. i'm sure I will Boo and Liala at least #ok so:#Beckett #Jules #Moe #Boo #Bylur #Aine #Liala #beckett jules and moe are an adventuring party #slapped them together real quick for a little fic im writing #they uh. are definitely totally fine in it. probably.#(me when I lie)#Boo is from the same fic but he does better.#my silly little necomancer street urchin #that's not a typo just a pun #OH yes the 'old world' note by Moe refers to the type of birdfolk he is #Bylur and Aine are married. Aine runs Beinhilmir's only inn. Bylur is a smith (but it helps her out when they have time)#i fully confess I didn't draw their left arm simply bc I Didn't Want To #and Liala has been living in my brain for 10000 years #she's a cleric of the moon goddess [oh i should draw her huh. ill put it on the list]#she's a beinkin that refused to pay the blood price to retain her humanity. so she's forever a beast now #she seeks out the goddess to try and cure her curse #she can't cure her outright but she does her best to help Liala retain her humanity in mind if not body #they're both kinda fruity about it

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seventh-district · 7 months ago

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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr 2.2 #hsr spoilers #hsr leaks #the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am #i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before #but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one #so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days #it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me #but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and #gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it #and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story #not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know #but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game #anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream #pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we #i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing #Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it #and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet #also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good #Seven.txt #viddy game stuff

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the-punforgiven · 2 months ago

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I get an idea to make a new horrible audio thing and suddenly every youtube to mp3 site goes down simultaneously

#I realized Curse You Bayle is 3 words and 4 syllables #in compliance with the ancient laws of 2010 youtube this means I am bound to create something awful with it #but then every yt2mp3 site shits itself simultaneously??#They're sparing him #he's been through enough #pun's text posts

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katyspersonal · 1 year ago

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Day ruined

Okay guys I think I should quit the fandom and in generally never create any interpretation ever again. I wrote her like two years ago in summer 2021, my version of Izzy, an obscure character from Bloodborne:

- Has motivation of 'if everyone is a beast, then no one is a beast' in the end

- Defends people like Suspicious Beggar who legit has beasthood genetically (Loran) and it wasn't their own fault

- As result, culturally appropriates tries to self-inflict beastial features of Loran kin upon herself

- Curses Yamamura's whole village

- Has long brown hair and slashing scar on her face that wounded one of her eyes

- Is one of the people against the corrupt order that governs her world (in BB that's Moon's vicious cycle of ascension vs hunt that I keep rambling about, and its simps Laurence, Ludwig and Gehrman)

I've been FUCKING writing a waifu version of Dung Eater THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME.

I QUIT.

Also:

@val-of-the-north You are on a THIN fucking ice, I know your secrets I can out and I have mutuals that will bully you

#bloodborne #fandomry rambles #irreverent izzy #shitposting #cannot even tag it as 'shitposting' or 'cursed' because in both cases it will be an awful pun fss fdshfhsdh #@val LMAO WHAT #WHY YOU ALWAYS MAKE THINGS EVEN WORSE. WHY YOU ALWAYS KICK ME WHEN I AM DOWN #i mean yes at least Izzy is normal (as normal as soulsborne npc can be) but like #narratively they are the same trope serving the same purpose in the overall lore #so yes i'm never writing an obscure character again and instead stick only to canon elaborate blorbos #time to only ever touch BB DLC main cast and no one else -_-#god i hate this so much #i just can't catch a break from realisations literally no one needed

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moe-broey · 1 year ago

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Therapy W I'm gonna start medically transitioning again and I have a bunch of other misc upkeep stuff to take care of so I'm sorting this out and. There's something I Need to Do and I couldn't remember the fucking term for it so I said, "You know. Hole inspection. Like. Hole." And my therapist is looking at me very bewildered and confused and so I clarify, "Like some gynecology shit"

"You Mean A Pap Smear???????" "YEAH!!!!!!!"

She got a huge kick out of it and she's a grade A ally without me even saying anything she said, "It IS a hole inspection.... Man Hole Inspection."

#one of the best things you can do as a dysphoric trans person is just. invent your own terminology for shit.#another fave of mine is 'the curse'. not saying what it is you figure it out.#this was SO fucking funny to me like here i am having one million variations of hole jokes just by being a queer person on tumblr #and the way this cishet woman's face lit up making that connection and pun like 'omg... Man Hole :)'#HSKAGSJHAKDHAJ I JUST. THE PURE JOY OF IT. THE WHIMSY. FIRST TIME MAKING/HEARING SUCH A JOKE #so much beauty in the world.... peace and love.....

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t1gerlilly · 2 years ago

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What kind of music do posh furries listen to? .... Fur Elise, of course.

bodega catgirl

#I’m sorry #Mostly #I have plenty of respect for the furry community even though I’m not one #I just can’t resist puns #I am helpless before them #Especially bad puns #And dad jokes #Dad jokes with bad puns are like my curse

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tangledinink · 6 months ago

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Will Swannie miss his wings? He’s been like that for about a year now, he probably gotten use to the wings and the pain in his calves/legs…would Donnie get like….phantom pain or something because of the missing wings? Would he in some way try to get them back or have a reminder of them? Will Donnie even try or want to dance again?

donnie doesn't usually dance on pointe anymore-- it was a rare occasion pre-curse, and now post, the physical demand is typically too much for him to handle. but when your little brother knows levitation magic, anything is possible for a special occasion.

generally speaking, though?

there's no way he's ever gonna want to stop dancing.

[ swanatello ] [ prev ] [ fin! ]

and... that's it! that's the end!

... well, the end of the main storyline, anyway! the end of the story for swannie that i wanted to tell. the au will still be around! <3 swanatello has pretty much always been built on the asks i've received about it, and i still have more tucked away in my hoard that i intend to get to at some point or another as little bonus side stories, and my askbox is always open as well...! and on that note--

thank y'all so, so much for your support on this magickal girl journey. i NEVER expected to get the amount of love or attention that i did for my silly little donniesona that was based on a pun, but i had so much fun with this comic and am so grateful to y'all <3 like i said, this entire au was really powered by the amount of asks i received about him and his story, and it was really such a fantastic experience for me all around. not including any non-canon crossover content, this comic is approximately 965 pages long! definitely wasn't my plan when i doodled him for the first time as a goof, haha.

thanks, gang. <3 i hope you enjoyed the ride, too.

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freyito · 5 months ago

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ꜱᴘᴀʀᴋꜱ ꜰʟʏ

✭ pairing(s): boothill x gn reader

✩ inspo: BOOTHILL DAY!!!

★ summary: Boothill tends to be a little clingy when he's charging, cause he has nothing to do! C'mon, kiss him! Nothing'll happen, he promises!

✧ a/n: happy belated boothill day :')... i currently have him e5s1 but im going for e6, i might try and get s2... if you havent gotten boothill yet, may you all be boothill havers!!!!

🗒 cw: gn reader, just fluff, short n sweet, proofread

✎ wc: 1k

Boothill has nothing to do when he’s charging, especially when he’s at home. Which should be a blessing, he doesn’t have to sit in the middle of nowhere for at least two hours. You could get him all sorts of things to keep himself occupied at home, cards, board games, pull up some old western, and he’d still complain about how bored he is. Not to mention, he’s especially clingy. He protests if you leave his sight for a second.

You had gotten home after a long day of work, tired out and aching. Boothill was on the couch, face down, grumbling about something while charging. He just looks sooooo miserable, hair cascading over his face, messy, as if he had just woken up from a nap. He kicks his feet like a kid, the motion occupying him.

Yet when he hears you come home, his head pops up like a dog, and if he was one, his tail would be wagging. His face lights up immediately and pushes his hair to the side, running his fingers through it and petting it down to make sure he doesn’t look like too much of a mess. You don’t get a chance to complain about your day before he’s beckoning you closer, cursed by the distance between you two and his damn charging cable.

“C’mere,” Boothill’s sheepish smile is quickly replaced with that confident toothy grin you’ve come to know as home. “I’ve been soooo lonely, buttercup…”

Boothill could support you on his own easily, you wouldn’t have to work a day in your life, but you still chose to work, to give you some semblance of normalcy. There was nothing wrong with some extra cash in your pocket, anyways. Even if Boothill had complained that sitting still in one place would set the IPC off on him and probably you, too. He was never home much, anyways, so you felt as if there was no need to worry.

You saunter over to Boothill, sitting down in his lap, the cowboy wrapping his arms around you near immediately. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head, letting out a low hum of content. His hands roam your body, no idea what he was searching for, he just had the need to feel. He himself visibly relaxes as he does so, content to have you home and in his arms once more. You don’t have much to say– not that you need to– and simply enjoy the moment, watching as his hands glide from your hips to your stomach, before pulling you impossibly closer and squeezing you like you were a teddy bear.

“Missed you…” He mumbles once more, leaning over your shoulder and trailing kisses down your cheek, enjoying the warmth of human skin once more. If you were to point out how clingy he was, he’d adamantly deny the fact, yet would still find a way to get all up in your DNA.

Slowly, he trails the kisses from your cheek to your lips, and when your lips meet, sparks fly, literally. Or atleast, it feels like it. You pull away abruptly with a small ‘ow’, placing a hand over your mouth. Boothill gives you a confused and dejected look, before the lightbulb goes off in his head.

“What? Am I… electrifyin’?” He asks with a heavy voice, laden with exhaustion (can he even feel that?) and mirth. You can’t help but scoff and roll your eyes at the silly pun, and he leans in for another kiss. You try to avoid it, but he catches you, and places another shocking kiss on your lips. After several more, you manage to wrench yourself free from his grip pushing yourself off of him. “Awh, c’mon! Don’t just–”

“Nuh uh,” You shush him, crossing your arms, turning your head, and pouting. “I’ll kiss you after you finish charging.”

“Wait, c’mooon!” Boothill starts, sitting up from the couch and reaching for you. His hands graze over your shoulder, yet he was unable to move further due to the limits of his charging cable. You took one teeny tiny step back so you were just out of reach. “Don’t do this, baby! Pleaaase!”

Boothill begs you like you were breaking up with him, he’s one step away from getting on his knees and groveling for you to come back… as in step closer. He does his best to give you puppy eyes, but the most that does is unsettle you a little, the way his eye locks on with you and glowing a faint red. All you do is stand there and watch, taking another step back.

“Fudge…. c’mon, c’mon, c’mon…! Ain’t I just the sweetest?” He desperately pleads his case, as if you being in his arms is the only way he could possibly live. “I won’t kiss you ‘til I’m done charging! I swear! Just let me hold you? Pretty pretty muddle-fudgin’ please?”

His pleas fall on deaf ears as you turn on your heels to leave him whining and grumbling, deciding that you would like to make dinner. Perhaps wind down a little after work, maybe read a book… all things Boothill tried to protest, but ultimately, after ten minutes of you in the kitchen making yourself food, he finally went quiet.

When you come out of the kitchen, bowl of pasta in hand, he’s sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, pouting like a child. He was muttering things to himself, some that you caught which were curses, sometimes your name, and other words. When you come into the living room, he turns his head and gives you the silent treatment for once. You don’t mind this, sitting down on an armchair across from him, eating your food in silence.

Boothill can’t stay silent forever, nor can he wallow forever. Only after five minutes of you being there, he breaks, staring you down with his attempt at puppy eyes once more. Charging takes forever, and he wants to have you in his arms now. He can run on 40% battery for a little while, anyways. He unlatches the charging cable and practically runs over to you (over such a short distance…), cupping your cheek and tilting your head up to meet his gaze.

“One more kiss? Pretty pretty please? With a cherry on top?”

#⁺◟freyito #boothill x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #boothill hsr x reader #boothill x gn reader #boothill x you #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gn reader #hsr x gn reader

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mclqren · 8 months ago

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PUPPY LOVE ★ CS55

PAIRING ✦ carlos sainz x fem!dog sitter!reader SUMMARY ✦ you work as a dog sitter, and you somehow wind up dog-sitting for a f1 driver. [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

NOTES ✦ reader lives in spain & can speak spanish, but isn't originally from spain ( you can decide where! ) i'm not a native spanish speaker, so please correct me if there are some inconsistencies! i know the dog i used for piñon isn't exactly accurate but please just pretend they look the same!! the fc i've used is christina nadin, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)

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liked by yourbsf, user1, and 205 others

yourusername i loveee my job 🐕💗

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yourbsf i think you love the dogs more than you love me

yourusername you'd be right about that ❤️

yourbsf mi mejor amigaaaa!! ( my best friend )

yourusername te amoooo💗 ( i love you )

user1 millie loveddd you! i'd love for you to sit for me again!

yourusername awww i loved millie too! thank you so so muchh 💗

carlossainz55

( caption: need a dog sitter! please reply with recommendations. must be located in Spain & can look after Piñon for just over a week )

yourbsf holaaa! my best friend is a dog sitter, and i'm sure she'd be happy to look after Piñon for you!

carlossainz55 That would be great! Could i have her instagram?

yourbsf sorry still in shock you actually replied LOL, it's @ yourusername!

carlossainz55 Muchas gracias!! ( thank you very much )

liked by yourbsf, carlossainz55, and 487 others

yourusername i look after a lot of dogs, but you will forever be my top bitch ( pun very much intended ) feliz cumpleaños daisy!! mami te quiere mucho 💗 ( happy birthday daisy!! mommy loves you very much )

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yourbsf FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS DAISYYY!!

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carlossainz55 Daisy es muyyy linda ❤️ ( daisy is veryyy cute )

yourusername siiii!! ( yessss!! )

user2 OMG CARLOS??

user3 SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

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INSTAGRAM DMS

carlossainz55 Hey this is y/n, right?

yourusername NO WAY THEEE CARLOS SAINZ IS DMING ME

but yes it is :) anything i can help you with?

carlossainz55 Your friend mentioned that you were a dog sitter?

@/yourbsf

yourusername yeah i am a dog sitter!! did you need someone to look after ur dog?

carlossainz55 Yeah I did, actually!

I was wondering if you could look after my dog Piñon for the week? I’m going to be away, and my parents are away so they can't look after him right now

yourusername OH MY GOD YES

i'm so sorry that reaction was so out of character 😭😭 but yes i'd love to look after him!

carlossainz55 Muchas gracias! I'll message you further details later if that's alright?

yourusername ningún problema! yeah that's fine with me! :) ( no problem! )

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carlossainz55

( caption: Missing you already Piñon!! ❤️ )

yourusername

( caption: new best friend unlocked 🔓 )

carlossainz55 Umm he's actually my best friend??

yourusername nuh uh i've claimed him while you're away ❤️❤️

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tagged carlossainz55

yourusername my latest charge is wayyy too cute 💗

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yourbsf can’t pick who’s cuter: you or piñon

yourusername we both know it’s piñon ❤️❤️

user4 wait who is sheee??

user5 carlos is in her likes!! i’m pretty sure that’s piñon she’s dog sitting ❤️

user6 whoever she is she is stunninggg!!

carlossainz55 Good to see that you’re looking after Piñon!

yourusername geniallll!! ( brilliantttt!! )

liked by yourbsf, carlossainz55, and 10,456 others

tagged yourbsf & carlossainz55

yourusername life recently 🪩

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user12 she is literally a goddessss!!

yourusername aw thank you baby!!

user13 y/n why do you look so angry in the first photo HELP

yourusername can’t remember but i think @/yourbsf had stolen some of my soft serve :(

user14 does she speak spanish??

yourusername when i was younger i moved to spain, so i can speak spanish fairly well!

user14 omg i can speak spanish asw!! eres tan bonita por cierto 💕 ( you are so pretty by the way )

yourusername muchas gracias!! 💗💗

user15 no daisy?? ☹️

yourusername daisy content will be returning, i promise!!

carlossainz55 ❤️

yourusername 💗💗

user16 stop theyre sooo cute i can’t handle it

yourbsf that pasta was so delicioussss

yourusername siii!!

user17 her replying to pretty much all of the comments is the cutest thing everrr she’s such a sweetheart

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carlossainz55 Training almost over 🤝

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charlesleclerc new season about to start 🏎️

carlossainz55 Yess 👊

scuderiaferrari exciting times ahead!

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user18 woweeee

user19 hand in marriage yes or yes??

user20 i’m waiting for y/n’s comment

user21 sameee!!

yourusername that viewwww 💗

carlossainz55 The mountains or me??

yourusername don’t flatter urself hon 😊

user20 @/user21 HERE THEY ARE

user21 THEIR DYNAMICCC UGH

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tagged carlossainz55

yourusername last day w piñon ☹️💗 ft daisy!!

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user22 DAISY'S BACKKKK

user23 amamos a daisyyy!! ( we love daisyyy!! )

yourusername siii!! 💗

user24 ella es tan perfecta 💞 ( she is so perfect )

yourusername no tuuuuu 💗 ( no youuuu )

carlossainz55 Only one more day!❤️

yourusername ur saying that like it's a good thing :((

carlossainz55 You can always come and visit him!

user25 dont ask me why but i just KNOW she smells like vanilla

yourusername no stopp that's literally my perfume scent asw

user25 NO WAYYY LOOLLL

user26 @/carlossainz55 you taking notes??

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tagged carlossainz55

yourusername PIÑONNN!! ¡daisy y yo hemos pasado el mejor momento contigo esta semana! te amoooo 💗💗 ( daisy and i had the best time with you this week! i love you )

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user31 NO MORE Y/N AND PIÑON CONTENT NOOOO

yourusername ☹️☹️

user32 okay but surely this isn't the end of carlos and y/n...right?? RIGHT??

user33 no it acc can't be i'll never stop crying.

carlossainz55 Thanks again for looking after Piñon!! ❤️

yourusername ofccc!! you WILL let me visit him or else 😁

yourbsf okay but ur cute.

yourusername you're cuterrrr

user34 guysss this isn't the end i'm so sure they'll still be interacting w each other!!

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yourusername night away from the dogs 🌃

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user35 CARLOS CAN YOU FIGHT.

user36 hand in marriage?? 💍

yourusername betttt!! 💗

yourbsf MY BEST FRIEND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

yourusername TE AMOOOO

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

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user37 SO WE ALL SAW CARLOS' COMMENT??

user38 TWO WEEKS ON AND HE'S BACK AGAIN

user39 idc they're too cute

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yourusername 📍bahrain 💗

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user45 THE FERRARI MERCH SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING

user46 she's soo soft i love her

yourusername 💗💗

user47 SO IT'S BASICALLY CONFIRMED NOW

user48 the press have literally basically confirmed it for them, we're all just waiting until they say it themselves

yourbsf my best frienddddd 😁😁

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carlossainz55 Red suits you ❤️

user49 HURRY UP AND ANNOUNCE IT PLEASE.

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tagged yourusername

carlossainz55 🏆 P3!! Great start to the season, and no one else I'd rather start it with ❤️

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user50 EVERYONE STAY CALM THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING.

user51 BRB CURRENTLY SCREAMING

user53 PODIUM FINISH & HARD LAUNCH?? SOOO HAPPY RN.

user54 CARLOS SAINZZZZ ❤️❤️

yourusername 💗💗

carlossainz55 ❤️

user55 THE WAY SHE USES 💗 AND HE USES ❤️ MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS

charlesleclerc about time 🙌❤️

user56 HA CHARLES IS A REAL ONE

user57 officially my favorite couple on the grid.

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tagged carlossainz55

yourusername forza ferrari 💗

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user58 hey alexa, play lover by taylor swift

yourusername omg i love taylor 💗💗

user59 if carlos ever fumbles you pls hit my line

yourusername @/carlossainz55 you've been warned!!

user60 POWER COUPLE ALERT

user61 she's actually so perfect it's scary

yourbsf FINALLY. I'VE BEEN WAITING.

liked by yourusername

user62 KILL ME NOW THEY ARE ADORABLE.

user63 the way she still likes all of the comments actually has me crying why is she the cutest.

carlossainz55 siempre ❤️ ( always )

liked by yourusername

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#f1 imagines #formula 1 #f1 x reader #smau #carlos sainz #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #f1 social media au #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz imagine #formula one x y/n #formula one x reader #formula one x you #f1 x female reader #f1 x you #mclqren

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meatball-soup · 7 months ago

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youtube

THIS IS THE FIRST THING IN MIND WHEN I SEE THEIR HANDS

tHEY ALL SOLD. THE DAY OF RECKONING IS UPON US

I MADE THE EXECUTIVE DECISION TO BUY THE LAST REMAINING MARKETABLE BISHOP PLUSHIE BECAUSE A SECOND ONE SOLD OUT TODAY.....I will not confirm which one it was until it arrives. Am disappointed the poll didn't decide my fate due to divine intervention, but I'd rather have one of these doofuses than have the last one also vanish 5ever. I contacted the maker to see if there'll be a restock in the future, so if you guys end up voting for the one I didn't get. I'll get that one in the future <3

THEY'RE SO GOOFY LOOKING, I SHOULD'VE POSTED PICS SOONER BUT I DON'T THINK YOU CAN PUT PICTURES ON POLLS. I made a poorly drawn tribute to these goobers because they're so silly I need them all:

Thank you to everyone who voted on the poll and again I am so sorry it didn't go according to plan but I definitely cannot control when people decide they desperately need plush toys of the antagonists of hit indie game Cult of the Lamb (2022)

EDIT: I TALKED WITH THE MAKER. THEY'RE MADE TO ORDER. THIS IS STILL HAPPENING. THE WHOLE GANG WILL BE MINE.

#op u r so right shamura looks like they are held by gunpoint and thats so funny 😭#THOSE HANDS ARE SO CURSED LMAOOO #its so funny and so cursed at the same time #kallamar's face looks like he has been ran over and wringed and i am saying this in the most affectionate way possible #he looks like on the verge of tears its so silly #shamuras face is so on point tho??? slaps hard.. (with those hand also pun intended)#shamuras bent knee 😭 they doing the nae nae #cult of the lamb #cotl #Youtube

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real-british-empire · 3 months ago

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An introduction.

I am the totally 100% real official account of the glorious British empire.

You shall expect PROPER English, colonialism, war, tea and an immense disdain for this so called France (not a real country).

God save the Queen

Yours truly,

The British Empire,

(My main blog is @kharak-the-skeleton )

Current condition because anons keep doing witchcrafts (and other stuff reasons):

Can summon kettles

Can summon tea

Currently a spirit as the empire has long since fallen

God of fate

Can now (unfortunately) summon Rishi Sunak

Officially cool

Teabending

Kettle launching powers

Tea gun (more powerful)

Death blade :3

Life blade

Purgatory blade :3

Crystal ball owner now!

I have a small bottle of salt

Void knife :3

Tangerine is in my possession.

Someone gave me a pokeball

Anomalous super flamethrower

Uncompressed to be 280cm tall

Can see trans people

Can slow down time for 5 min on a Tuesday.

In possession of a death bald?

Can drink quantum tea

Mitosis :3

DVD screensaver

Anti-shadow-suppressant weapon

Can do the yapdollar outro to teleport anywhere I’ve been

Power of 2, x, 4 and 1

Purgatory bald

Life bald

Splatoon movement

Has framed pic of a chimp

Has a remote that fires a beam that gives what it hits lore.

In possession of the omnitrix with alien known as “upgrade”

Knife that turns Irish people into well-done steaks

Can change 1 letter in a sentence up to 5 times a day.

Has a needle that turns people to moths for 12 min, 36 seconds and turns moths to people

Has control over march 22nd (goof off day)

Can force anyone to post limit

Control over conspiracy theories and all pointcrow and dougdoug jokes

Can shapeshift into anything but Texas

Magical UNO deck

Fun fact book of every fact.

Can eat anything inedible and be fine

Can turn any app gimmicks into Jack from persona and SMT from megami tensai

Now knows what to do with a drunken sailor

INFINITE ARTICHOKES

Force tea-inator

Luck manipulation

Has an awesome hoodie

1 time use anon-curse reverser

Permanently puppygirl-ed and catgirl-Ed (can switch)

Able to make the best/worst puns.

Can swap between alive and ghost

Can become paper like paper Mario

Has a purple crayon that makes anything it draws real that CANNOT BE EATEN

CUP BENDING

Invulnerable to France.

Can perceive different time zones

#god save the queen #official British post

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spdrvyn · 8 months ago

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miguel as a weighted blanket — drabble

inspired by @desb3ar's art of miguel as a blanket for reader! love your art, mootie ^_^ reader is implied to be autistic in this because what else do i do in my works if it's not project, am i right folks haha...

Thunder clapped mere blocks away from your flat, it caused you to stir once more as you uttered curses at Mother Nature for bringing unfortunate weather to the city today.

You'd come back home exhausted, the work day had taken away all the spoons you had left for the day, so you had hoped to rejuvenate through a power nap, but the universe has decided to play its twisted little game with you this afternoon, you think.

Every thing was just too loud, the city noise, the rainfall, and the distant workings of the shower contributed to your disturbed slumber. You would have woken up by now and gotten to work if it all just went according to plan, but the constant interruptions had left you more than perturbed.

That burden lifted only slightly when the water falling from the shower had stopped, to be followed by your lover exiting the bathroom. Hair being furiously dried with a towel, water droplet ran down his high cheekbones, and onto the plumpness of his lips. You raised your head from your pillow just a little, to gawk.

Miguel adorned an ironic science pun tee and grey sweatpants, his curls looked more frayed due to his impatience to use a hair dryer, so just the way you like it. Your head flopped down on the pillow again, a pout curled on your lips.

"Are you going to stay?" Your finger drew shapes into the pillow casing, Miguel simply chuckled as he discarded of his towel onto only what you can assume to be the bathroom sink.

"Hope so," the weight he put on the bed when he laid down had caused you to shift closer to his side. Almost instinctively, his arm wrapped around your shoulder. A large hand at your nape to pull you close, even closer.

He was so undeniably warm, it was a comfort– no– privilege that your already comfy blanket could not grant you. As if on autopilot, your body also seeked that delicious body heat and you wrapped both of your arms around him as well, positioned yourself so that his chin was on the crown of your head.

As you flinched when the thunder crashed, this time even closer to the apartment, Miguel had begun to understand your groggy disposition, asking if he'd stay longer. His grip on you tightened.

Since it seems he can read minds, he shifted one of his legs to go in between yours as his arms moved down to wrap around your waist to slide you underneath him a little. The weight and warmth of him blanketed (literally) the overwhelming stimulus from outside.

You hummed contently as you nuzzled your face into his chest, the thin fabric of his shirt leaving little to hide. His breaths were slow, but his heart pounded like gunfire. A soothing rhythm you found yourself entranced in as you begun to fall asleep.

The only outside noise you heard was one you didn't awaken to, one that didn't leave your energy bar unsatiated, one that you absolutely loved.

"Go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

#spiderman: across the spiderverse #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara fluff #fluff #i need to sleep

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