#I am calm I am serene I am a green bean

[majimasleftasscheek]

yeeeeeaAAHHHHHHHHHHH

[pregnant-piggy]

One coffee please (1/2)

Blaise Zabini x reader

This is part of all I want for Christmas is fanfiction

This is written for @kalimagik‘s writing challenge

Words: 2.9k

A/N: this was my first time properly writing for Blaise and it will definitely not be the last. With this fic he has grown to be a character close to my heart and I am already excited to write more for him!

Prompts: 'what are you talking about? This is brilliant!' and 'you're cute when you're mad'

It was definitely winter. The wind was blazing around in the streets, howling around the corners of high buildings. It was blowing against the windows of houses and apartments, creating loud thrums in the ears of the people inside. The skies were dark grey in the night and icy blue in the morning. The sun was shining but it was cold. Streets froze overnight, but thawed before anyone woke up.

Even the thickest sheets and blankets couldn’t keep you warm as you lied in bed. At night you curled up to a ball to keep all the heat close to your body, but in the morning you woke with cold toes and fingertips. The sheets didn’t reach far enough to your neck and even your woollen jumper couldn’t protect you from the freeze. It was now more than ever that you longed for someone to cling onto in the night, to have their body heat against your skin. You wanted to feel the warmth that came from someone’s arms around your waist and the heat of someone’s fingertips on the skin under your jumper.

Instead you woke up alone in your apartment, the wind pounding against the tall windows. A moan escaped your mouth as you stretched out and the little bones in your back cracked. The cold air of your room flew over your arms and goose bumps formed all from your wrists to your armpits. A shiver ran over your spine, sliding from your neck to the dip of your back. A cold spread through your entire body from only putting your arms above the sheets.

Resting your arms atop of the blankets over your duvet, you sighed and opened your eyes, greeting the darkness that came with the winter's mornings. The sun that woke you in the summer was now still hidden behind the horizon and the tall buildings in the city. The skies were dark blue with clouds that coloured orange from the street lights. Maybe if it had been clear you could have seen the stars.

You had to get out of bed eventually. The longer you stayed in, the more you would have to hurry and the thought of that was almost enough to get you out of bed. But instead you rubbed your face and stared at the ceiling until the alarm from your phone sounded through your room. You lifted your body half in your bed and reached for your phone on the nightstand. Your cold fingers had turned off the alarm before you could even see the screen of your phone; waking up like this had become a habit lately.

After five minutes even your social media couldn’t keep your mind from the fact that useful time was passing and you tossed your phone somewhere on your bed. After a deep breath you threw the blankets and sheets off your yet warm body and swung your feet over the edge of your bed. If it wasn’t for the rug under your feet you would have crawled back into your bed. But instead you got up from your bed and walked to your closet, contemplating just wearing sweats.

You settled on a black pair of jeans and a dark green jumper with a turtle neck, so that you would still be warm. After freshening up and making yourself look acceptable to the outside public, you put on your shoes and stole an apple from the fruit bowl in the kitchen on your way to the door. Breakfast would come later. Right now you had to make sure you were on time.

_-_-_-_-_-_

Blaise wished he hadn’t worn his hoodie to bed last night. He woke with a sweaty back and quickly threw off the sheets. He welcomed the coldness with open arms, feeling the air wrapping around his hot body and calming down his skin.

It took him fifteen minutes to take a short shower, brush his teeth and put on some clothes. Much different from what anyone would wear on such a cold day, Blaise chose for a simple button up and rolled up the sleeves up his arms, his tattoos peeking out.

He took his keys and wallet from the table next to the front door and closed the door behind him, while he put on the leather jacket and checked his phone for any messages. The door locked with a soft click and Blaise put his other arm in his jacket, his eyes glued to the screen of his phone. He reached into his pocket, fishing out his earphones and plugging them into his phone. The tones of his favourite song soon started to play and he relaxed as he walked out of his apartment building.

The streets under his feet were more slippery than they had been all week and it took Blaise a woman who nearly fell to realise. While the woman was helped by a passer-by, Blaise quickly turned around the corner and quickened his pace.

His hands were in his pockets, playing with the keys in his right one. The beat of the music synced with his steps and for a moment he forgot it was early in the morning and he wasn’t a morning person. He even arrived with a smile at the coffee shop he was headed for.

The bell of The Old Coffee House tingled when Blaise pushed open the door. The coffee shop originally was started by his grandfather, who had thought it would be a good thing to do with his retirement. The coffee shop was celebrating its thirtieth anniversary next year. It was the oldest company in the whole block and by tourists it was seen as a mark for the city. Blaise didn’t know if it was really that, but he was glad there were enough costumers.

His mother was managing the place from her home and she would come in once a week, to make sure everything went well. But it was mostly Blaise who had the control in the shop.

Well, Blaise and you.

You were Blaise's best friend. Your mothers were best friends and being forced to spend time together when you were kids had let to a connection to build. You had spent your whole lives together and when Blaise's mother was looking for someone to help her son in the coffee shop, you had been the first to volunteer. He had now been working with you for a year and it had only made that you were even closer now.

Blaise knew everything about you, from your morning routine to your favourite song and the dance you'd do to it. He knew what to do when you were down in the dump and what to give you when you were, as he called, ‘hangry’. He knew how to cheer you up and when to leave you alone when you were angry.

He had seen you at your best and at your worst. He was the first one to hear about your first date with your boyfriend and the one who was there when said boyfriend suddenly left you alone. He had seen you dancing on tabletops and crying in your bed.

Blaise was always there for you, because you had been there for him his entire life.

‘Well aren’t you happy for a Monday morning?’ you asked as you made your way into the space from the backroom, tying an apron at your back. Blaise rolled his eyes at you and took off his jacket. He hung it next to your coat behind the counter and took the apron from the hook, tying it the same way you had done. ‘What got you so cheerful?’

Blaise shrugged and leaned on the counter with his right forearm, watching you as you filled the coffee machine with coffee beans. You were humming along to a song that was playing over the radio while you turned on the machine and made two cups of coffee.

The grinding of the coffee beans sounded over the radio and your humming got softer as you lost track of where the song was. Instead you nodded along to the beat that was still vaguely audible over the low buzzing.

Blaise snickered when you tried to hit the high note and your hum failed to reach it. You shot him an annoyed look and he only shrugged at you, grinning as he turned around and he heard the huff from your lips.

Soon you fell into the routine that had developed over time. Since neither you nor Blaise were morning people, it was soon found that it was best if it was just silent. The only sounds were the radio and the occasional talk with a customer. It was a serene scene for anyone to walk into, seeing two people work in silence in a place that could be such a buzz in the afternoon.

While you helped a costumer to their coffee and muffin, Blaise leaned against the counter and watched you. The sunlight came in from the window behind you and the silhouette of your face was painted against a canvas of golden light. The edges of your figure were outlined by a golden thread. Your cheeks glowed up and your eyes seemed like the brightest gemstones Blaise had ever seen.

Blaise would be the last one to deny that you were pretty. Over the years he had seen you grow into the wonderful person you were now, inside and outside. There was something about your appearance that told the world how you were. With just one glance someone could see you as the passionate person you were, but Blaise knew that there was so much more to it than just passion.

‘Are you alright?’ you asked and Blaise was pulled from his thoughts. He flashed you his smirk and nodded before he took his own coffee mug. You raised your eyebrow at him as you noticed that what was in his mug was not coffee.

‘What’s in there?’ you asked, stepping closer to Blaise, ordering him to show his mug with your finger. ‘It smells like cinnamon.’

‘That’s because it has cinnamon in it,’ Blaise shrugged and he took a sip.

‘Well, of course,’ you said, rolling your eyes. ‘I figured that.’

Blaise lifted the mug to drink again, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist and taking the mug from him. You eyed it suspiciously and smelled it. Over the cup you made eye contact with Blaise and with your eyes you pleaded him to tell you what it was.

‘I made it,’ he said, suddenly feeling insecure. He had never told anyone about it. He knew it was silly, but he was afraid someone would judge him over his coffee.  ‘I was messing around at home once and this kind of came out of it… It’s not much, but it does help keep you awake.’

You squeezed your eyes before you carefully took a sip and Blaise watched you, biting the inside of his mouth anxiously. You swallowed and held your eyes closed a little longer. Blaise shook his head and turned away from you.

‘I know it’s rubbish-’

‘What are you talking about?’ you cried out, turned Blaise back to you. ‘This is brilliant! You made this?’

The look of adoration on your face was enough for Blaise to start smiling and the blood rushed to his cheeks. He nodded and chuckled when he saw the stun on your face.

‘Why would you hide this from me?’ you asked, tilting your head. ‘What more have you been hiding?’ you added playfully, meaning nothing but still making Blaise fear for his secrets.

‘Nothing you should know about,’ he joked, yet there was a hint of nervousness in his voice that went unnoticed by you. You laughed and pushed Blaise away as you welcomed the next costumer and went back to work.

_-_-_-_-_-_

It had frozen overnight. Or better said, it was freezing at night. It was still dark outside and the sun was hours from rising. Only very few people were awake at this time.

You were sunken deep into your dreams, under layers of blankets to keep the cold from numbing your toes. The cold didn’t bother you yet, but it sure would when you would have to get out of bed in the morning. Luckily, it was Sunday what meant that the coffee shop was closed today and you could stay in bed for as long as you liked. Plans for today had been cast aside and you had nothing to do but sit on the couch in three jumpers and binge your favourite series.

However, fate seemed to have a different thought.

It was narrowing three when the ringtone of your phone started to sound clear and disrupting in your room, waking you from your sleep. In the dark you patted down your nightstand to find the thing that was making the sound and when you found your phone, your thumb automatically went to turn off the alarm. You dropped your phone back next to your pillow, but the sound kept going and you realised it wasn’t your alarm, but someone was calling you.

A loud groan passed your lips as you turned on your back. Squeezing your eyes against the light from the screen and an even louder groan escaped your mouth when you noticed who was calling you.

‘What do you want, Blaise?’ you said, your voice groggy with sleep and annoyance.

It wasn’t unlike Blaise to call you in the middle of the night when he knew you would be asleep just to mess with you, but yet every time he called you worried something had happened to him. However, when you heard his chuckle at your sleepy voice you knew that there couldn’t be something too wrong.

‘Nice talking to you too,’ Blaise said and you could hear the slight double tongue. Of course.

‘Blaise it is two in the morning, what do you want from me?’ you groaned, rubbing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose as you heard Blaise laugh again.

‘I might have accidentally locked myself out of my apartment as I left earlier this night,’ he said. ‘And the janitor won’t answer my calls.’

‘I wonder why,’ you mumbled.

‘Can I come over?’

You sighed and shook your head. Of course you were friends with the guy that forgot his keys in the middle of the night. ‘Sure, come over.’

‘Great, because I am already at your door.’

Without even reacting to that you hung up and put your phone back on your nightstand. You looked in the dark at the pile of blankets on top of you and cursed Blaise under your breath. In the freezing cold you left your bed and patted over to the front door of your apartment. Looking through the peephole in the door you watched Blaise for a minute. His broad shoulders covered with the leather jacket that he never left without were the first thing that caught your eye and you swallowed before you took a step back.

You unlocked the door and opened it. The cold air from the corridor seeped inside the hall of your apartment and you knew that it was over with the heat that you had been trying to create the whole night. You shivered as the coldness reached your bare legs; despite freezing to death, you still couldn’t sleep with long pants.

‘Get inside, idiot,’ you hissed and pulled Blaise inside before he could say anything. He chuckled and ruffled your hair with his cold hand. Taking of his jacket and hanging it next to your other coats, Blaise eyed the distance between the living room and your bedroom curiously.

‘If you wait a minute, I’ll get the couch ready for you,’ you said and you walked to your bedroom, looking at the blankets and deciding which ones you could miss. However, you hadn’t even taken one blanket before Blaise had crawled into your bed, waiting to see what you would do.

Defeated you stood at the foot end of you bed, the end of a blanket in your hands. As much as you tried not to look, you couldn’t help notice Blaise’s bare chest. Your eyes scanned his torso and lingered at his tattoos. It wasn’t like you had never seen Blaise without a shirt, but it just had never happened that he was sitting in your bed without a shirt.

You swallowed down the sudden nervous tingle in your chest and tried to act nonchalant as you shrugged and put the blanket back in its place. You walked around the bed and settled next to Blaise, leaving enough space so it would be appropriate, but still getting a little closer hoping he’d bring you any warmth.

‘Alright, then we’ll do it like this,’ you muttered as you turned down the light and lay down.

And indeed as you had thought, you felt the heat radiating off of Blaise, engulfing you in a warm embrace. The cold that had been pestering you all night was now suddenly gone and you felt you fingers and toes get back some feeling.

‘You owe me breakfast,’ you mumbled as you closed your eyes and your head turned to the side, Blaise’s hot breath stroking over your face as you fell asleep.

- - - - - -

taglist

general HP: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream @missmulti @deafgirltingz @moonstarrnghtsky @mytreec @lilulo-12fanfiction @emmaloo21 @kashishwrites @ananad1 @figlia--della--luna @kylosleftbuttcheek @mrs-malfoy-always @thefandomplace @magicwithaknife @mt2413 @aesthetically-hailey @superbturtlemakerathlete @the-natureofme @missswriter @hahee154hq @chloer1275​

[bellshells]

Nobody Can Know Part Four

It’s here! The finale of Nobody Can Know! This was actually really emotional for me, 52, 540 words later and this fic has come to an end. I have had the absolute best time writing this and I must send a massive shout out to @hinagiku0 for requesting this in the first place. I do have a bonus chapter in the works set in between parts two and three, but no time frame as to when that will be finished. Thank you to everyone who has come on this journey with me, and thank you to everybody who has liked, reblogged and taken the time to send me your kind words. You’ve made this aspiring writer very happy indeed. Thank you. 

Pairing: George Weasley x Fem!Slytherin Reader Warnings: Language, Angst, Blood, Smoking, Alcohol, Smut Summary: Christmas has come faster than anyone could have anticipated, but with everything so up in the air; it’s impossible to celebrate. The promise of a break away may give everyone the clarity they need.  Word Count: 17.4k+

“No, you can’t. That’s- no. I won’t let you.”

  George looked at you with a look of utter desperation, it made you ache. You bit the inside of your cheek to distract from the pain in your heart, it didn’t work. He shook his head and wiped at his face as a tear rolled down his cheek.

  “I’m sorry, George. I just need to think.” You whispered, you longed to reach for him, to comfort him; but your mind was made up. “I need some time away.”

  “Why? Love listen, please just talk to me. Tell me what to do.” George begged, he grasped your hand across the table and squeezed tightly. “I’ll do anything.”

You smiled sadly; you knew he would; he would do anything in that moment to keep you there. But was that enough?

  “I know George, I just feel…honestly I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. I just need to get away from everything so I can sort myself out.”   “From me?”   “From you, from the shop, everything!” You answered tersely, you didn’t mean to be blunt with him, you were uncomfortable seeing George distressed. But he needed to understand that you wouldn’t be swayed.   “Do you still love me?” He asked, his face twisted in agony as you pulled your hand away and placed it in your lap.   “That’s never in question.” You stood and walked around the table to where George sat, he looked at you expectantly as you bent down. You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll send you an owl when I’m settled, so you know how to reach me if anything happens.”   “Where will you go?”   “A friends.”

************

  Cokeworth was probably the most depressing place you had ever set foot in. The industrial town was still dirty from the smoke that the chimney of the old mill had puffed out. While in recent years it had ceased in its emission, the last century’s worth of grime had remained strong. It was a bleak, often sad reminder of the proletariat forefathers of the current upper working-class families who had purchased the many two-bed terraced houses for good rail links to Birmingham and Wolverhampton. You could never have imagined that Professor Snape lived somewhere like that, but really, you couldn’t imagine Professor Snape living anywhere other than Hogwarts. You had seen his office on many occasions, it was to be expected really; full of dusty books and rolled up pieces of parchment. It always smelled distinctly of cedarwood and myrrh, a scent you had almost absolutely convinced yourself that it was Professor Snape himself who smelled of such. You had promised yourself you wouldn’t dwell much on the last few days, instead you would take this time for yourself. You wanted to be kind to yourself for once, to just be you. You weren’t looking forward to the quiet though, your life had never been quiet.

  You walked for what felt like miles, all the streets looked the same, each house identical. It was disorientating, the numbers screwed on to each door seemed to ascend and descend in whichever way they liked. You were about to give up and go back the way you came until a little white sign on the side of a house on the corner of the street caught your eye; it had an arrow pointing in the opposite direction with SPINNERS END  written across it. You breathed a sigh of relief and started off in the direction dictated by the sign. 69, 67, 65- it was 65 wasn’t it? You pulled the crumpled bit of paper Professor Snape left you from your pocket and looked from the words there, to the grey wooden door in front of you.

If you are in need, you need only knock

  You knocked once on the door, you heard a click of a lock from the inside and it swung open slowly. There it was again, that smell. It was almost overpowering as you took a hesitant step into the house. From what you could see, it was immaculately clean. You dropped your suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and removed your heavy cloak from around your shoulders, hanging it over the bannister. The walls of the hallway were a dark green, but this didn’t surprise you. You would have been incredibly shocked it you had entered Professor Snape’s house and the walls had been painted magenta and mustard. You smirked at the idea and followed the hallway round to a room on the right, it looked like it should be a lounge. The walls were lined with books, every surface was littered with them too. There was a well-worn leather armchair in one corner with a drink’s cabinet close by. A table sat in the middle of the room and on the opposite side, a two-seat sofa. The leather of the sofa looked intact, like not a soul had ever sat on it. Whilst you knew that was near impossible, your heart ached for the lonely man who owned this house. Nobody should lead as solitary a life as this.

  You looked for a moment, long the lines and lines of books. Some looked to be incredibly old indeed, some without a dent in the hard spines. There were books in languages you didn’t know and some you recognised as classics in the muggle world. You ran your finger across the spines and sighed, you could imagine clearly that Professor Snape had read each and every one of them. You could see him in his chair, one leg crossed over the other- book in one hand and cigarette in the other. You smiled at the image you had created, you hoped he was happy here. You made your way out of the sitting room and back into the dark hallway, the stairs had a cupboard underneath them, the door painted the same green as the walls. You noticed a glimpse of the kitchen through a door which sat ajar, you pushed it open and stepped through. There were more books, many sat on the small dining table that sat in the corner. It was old, it reminded you pews at Hogwarts in its shape. The kitchen itself was cramped, although it had all the amenities one might expect, the claustrophobic closeness of the cupboards did nothing but remind you of the tiny kitchen in your flat. You walked over to the cupboards and opened them one by one, mugs and glasses, plates and bowls (four of each) and then one full of non-perishables. You laughed slightly at the tins of baked beans and scotch broth, a tin of rice pudding sat further forward on the shelf, as if picked out and then placed back.  

  You opened up a low cupboard next to the fridge and exhaled in relief at the sight of instant coffee, you pulled it out and unscrewed the lid. Giving the coffee a big sniff, you decided it was good enough to drink and sought to put the kettle on. After you had found the sugar and cutlery, you poured the contents of a tin of tomato soup into a pan and lit the cooker. Satisfied with your level of domesticity achieved, you placed your coffee and soup onto a tray and levitated it behind you into the sitting room. You scoured the books for something to read, and finally settled on a dusty black jacketed book called Dracula. The image of the author; a gentleman named Bram Stoker was still and aged, you could but assume this was a muggle book and you secretly relished in the simplicity of it. You settled into Professor Snape’s well-loved armchair and ate your soup quickly, quietly cursing when you burnt your tongue. You devoured the novel, your coffee forgotten until you squealed at the un-dead return of Lucy Westenra. You heart raced and you laughed, having fully immersed yourself in this novel. It was exhilarating. Your coffee was now cold as you brought it to your lips, and you yawned. It was dark outside now, but, in the deep December that could mean it was about five o’clock. Looking over your shoulders as if someone could catch you at any moment, you reached for the handle of the drink’s cabinet and marvelled at the assortment of alcohol stored within. You reached greedily for a bottle of port and padded into the kitchen for a glass, it was then you noticed a scrap of parchment next to the sink.

  (Y/N), it read in Professor Snape’s neat script,

Welcome, if you have decided to stay. I have left some muggle money on my desk in the second bedroom upstairs, along with an almanac of the values of it. There is some food in the cupboards, please feel free to help yourself to it. I am not expecting anybody to arrive, so please do not let anybody inside the house. I would be very much appreciative of that. You may write to me if you wish, I would like to know if you are there. Have a Merry Christmas.

Best,

Severus

  You raced up the narrow stairs of Professor Snape’s house, port and glass forgotten. The landing was small and had three doors that lead from there. One you assumed was the bathroom, you hoped it was as clean as the rest of the house. You continued to the next door along and opened it, Professor Snape’s personal study before you. You walked into the body of the room, absolutely in awe. He had enchanted the ceiling to reflect the night sky, the moon high above and stars twinkled through the heavy clouds. You stood for a moment and appreciated the craftmanship of this, it was silent in this room and the serenity of the night sky filled you with a sense of calm you hadn’t felt for the longest while. By the only window in the room sat his desk, it was surprisingly non-cluttered with minimal books. True to his note, there was an envelope marked Money. It was a curious thing, you peeked inside and found coins but also paper money too. What would muggles do if the paper money floated away? From the cursory glance you gave Professor Snape’s deconstruction of the value of each piece it seemed the paper money, or ‘notes’ as he called them were of greater value than the coins. But the coins together equalled the sum of notes. It was all very confusing, so you popped the envelope back on the desk and opened up the small drawer on top, thankful to find some parchment.

  The feel of Professor Snape’s quill in your hand was foreign and took some getting used to. You wrote two letters in total, one to Professor Snape to let him know you had arrived and to thank him again for his hospitality. He really had gone over and above what you had dared hope, and you sunk further into his debt. The other letter, was to George. Could it really only be a few hours since you had last seen him? You ignored the glassy state of your eyes as you sealed the letter and opened the window. A small silver whistle hung on a chain attached the inside of the sill, it had an owl in flight intricately engraved on the side. It was really quite beautiful, it glistened in the moonlight of the room and felt heavy in your hand. You brought the cold metal to your lips and blew once, but no sound came from the whistle. You looked desperately into the blackness of the street, the only light was the flickering streetlamp; only one was working and that one looked ready to be condemned. You noticed a speck in the distance, it grew bigger as it flew toward you. Your heart leapt at the sight of the black owl that fluttered its wings as it settled on the windowsill.   “This one first.” You instructed the owl as you offered the letter addressed to Professor Snape to it, it presented its leg and you fumbled in the drawers of Professor Snape’s desk for some string. “Fucking fuck fuck, where’s the fucking string?” You cursed, the owl gave an indignant hoot, and you made a face to it. Upon finding the string, you attached both letters to the owl’s legs and watched as it flew into the night.

  You trapsed back down the stairs and collected you dirty dishes and washed them in the sink. You yawned, fuck, you didn’t realise how tired you were until you caught your eyes closing of their own accord as you stood aimlessly in the kitchen. You collected your bag and made your way back up the stairs to the bathroom. You hadn’t expected a bachelor to take such good care of his home; the bathroom smelled strongly of bleach and the toilet was so clean you could’ve eaten your dinner off of it. No shower, you thought. Not a bit of wonder really, especially when you considered how old these houses were. You were thankful though, that Professor Snape must have charmed the brick somehow to keep the heat in, you wouldn’t even know where to start switching a radiator on. You decided against having a bath, it was far too late, and you didn’t fancy accidentally drowning to death as you inevitably fell asleep. You changed and popped your dirty clothes into the empty washing basket in the bathroom, making a mental note to write to Professor Snape and ask for instructions on how to use the washing machine. You felt a pang of loneliness as you walked across the empty landing, you and George never went to bed alone and you had missed his usual night-time burst of energy as you would get under the covers. It usually resulted in you making love for a few hours until you both passed out from exhaustion. No- you wouldn’t think about that.

  You pondered what to do. There was one bed. You hadn’t spared a second thought to the idea that Professor Snape had turned his second bedroom into a study, you cursed yourself as you stood in your knickers and stared at his wide bed. The bedding was black, of course and looked inviting in your sleepy state. You chewed on the inside of your cheek. It wasn’t appropriate for you to sleep in his bed, certainly not. You imagined how enraged he would be if he found out you had slept in his bed. But, he had let you stay here. Surely, he knew you would need to sleep? Maybe he thought you would have a sleeping bag, or even a blanket and you could sleep on the sofa that looked like it had never been sat on. You shook your head and chuckled, what a nightmare. Resigned, you pulled back the covers of Severus Snape’s bed and climbed in. You decided you would find your way to the town centre tomorrow and buy a pillow and a blanket and sleep on the sofa. But tonight, well one night wouldn’t hurt. You had imagined Professor Snape would sleep in a coffin, or perhaps a bed of nails in your youth. You hadn’t considered a large spongy bed, with brushed cotton sheets and pillows so soft your head could sink through them. The sheets smelled of freshly washed linen and you wondered if he had cleaned his house for you coming, you were grateful if he had and impressed if he hadn’t. Your eyes were heavy and closed almost instantly, you pulled the covers tight to your chest and slipped into a dreamless sleep.

********

  You were awoken by the sound of scratching. You opened your eyes and were confused for a moment why there wasn’t a sleeping redhead next to you. It had been three days since you had arrived in Spinner’s End and you felt almost at home now. You had a routine, you would wake up and have a bath, have some breakfast and read. You had managed to find the muggle supermarket and filled the cupboards full to burst. You often found yourself falling asleep in Professor Snape’s armchair. The evening would breach the windows of the living room, and you would drift away. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t particularly exciting either. You felt the same pang of loneliness you’d felt the night before as you sat slowly and sighed. The black owl tapped its beak impatiently on the bedroom window, you rose unsteadily and pulled a t-shirt out of your open bag. The owl didn’t wait for you to let it in as you opened the window, it swooped into the room and landed on the bed, kicking it’s legs, like you hadn’t already noticed the letters tied to it.   “I haven’t got any treats for you, sorry.” You said as you attempted to untie the letters, at least, if the owl stayed still for a second. You finally prised the letters away and the owl flew out the way it had come. The morning air was freezing, more snow had fallen in the night and the whole street was bathed in an eerily white blanket. There were a few children already out in the street, their parents scraping ice from the windows of their cars. People still need to work, you supposed, regardless of how close it was to Christmas. You closed the window and climbed back into bed, it was still warm under the covers and you settled in to read your letters.

(Y/N), the first one read.

Glad to hear you have settled in. Yes, you may help yourself to some of the drinks in the cabinet, but if you touch my Lagavulin with your grubby little hands, I shall know.

You snorted as you read that. You inched deeper into the bed, craving more warmth.

I’ll be in London for New Year, believe me, it’s as much an inconvenience to you as it is to me. So, whilst you are more than welcome to stay in my house, be prepared for my arrival on 31st December. If you wish to stay until then, I will require you to buy food. Please let me know what you decide to do well ahead of time.

Best,

Severus

That was the third time he had signed off by using Severus and not Professor Snape or Professor S. Snape, Head of Slytherin House Hogwarts, Potions Master, Surprisingly Nice Person as you had almost expected him to. So, he was coming back for New Year? Blanket and pillows were definitely on your agenda for the day. You picked up the other letter. You knew it was from George and you felt a sinking feeling in your gut as you fingered the envelope. You weren’t really expecting a reply, you told him you had arrived safe and you’d write him again soon. You weren’t sure what in the letter you sent actually required a response.

My darling, George wrote.

I’m chuffed to hear you’ve settled in wherever you are. I’d like to think you’re being looked after, but I know you don’t need anyone to look after you. I really miss you, gorgeous. I know there’s not much I can say that I didn’t already say yesterday, but I would have felt like an absolute git if I didn’t tell you again. I’m not going to ask you to come home if you’re not ready, but I wanted to let you know that me and Fred are heading to mum’s for Christmas. Couldn’t quite face it in the flat without you. So, if you decide you want to come home for Christmas, you know where we are. I love you, (Y/N). I’ll do anything to show you that.

All my love forever, George xxx

P.S. I noticed you didn’t take any of your tampons with you, just say the word and I’ll send them to you. Wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable, love x

  You shot out of bed like a rocket. Your tampons? Oh fuck. You raced across the landing to the loo and as you sat down, you saw the same sight that had been staring you in the face for weeks.

Nothing. Nothing in your knickers.

You were late. More than late, it had been far more than a week ago since you were due on and yet, with all the stress of the last few days you had forgotten all about it. You sank onto the bathroom floor and cried. Big, mournful tears and sobs that wracked your whole chest. This couldn’t be, this wasn’t to be your life. With a sniff of resolution, you stood from the floor and looked at yourself in the mirror. You hadn’t realised how haggard you looked. There were dark circled under your eyes and your face was pale and gaunt. You ran a finger across your cheek and felt the hardness of your cheekbone that jutted out further than it ever had before. Merlin, you were far too young for any of this. In the year that you had spent being George’s girlfriend you had had more strife than you could have possibly imagined. Quite frankly, you thought, you had taken it like a champ. But this just seemed one ordeal too far. You were alone, alone and hiding in Severus fucking Snape’s house from your boyfriend. No family, no friends, nothing.  No, no more.

******

  You hadn’t been to this part of London before. You were quite shocked when she suggested meeting you here, you hadn’t anticipated she was one for the theatre. As you stared up at Her Majesty’s Theatre, the bright still photographs of the show stared back at you. A woman, with long curly hair in a pink dress seemed frightened as a masked man with dark hair loomed behind her. What utter drivel you thought, who would pay money to see this? You rubbed your hands together, now significantly warmer with your new gloves you had bought on your way into London; and scoured the busy street for her. You were starting to think she wasn’t coming when you saw an emerald green cape swish in your periphery.   “There you are! Merlin, I was beginning it think you were taking the piss out of me.” You said as you wrapped her into a warm hug.   “Never,” Pansy smirked, she pulled away from you and gazed intently at your face. “You look terrible mate.”   “Thank you dear, you are nothing if not horrendously honest.” You looked at Pansy with a sly smirk. It felt so wonderful to see her again, her arm entwined easily with yours as you started back toward Leicester Square. “Why did you want to meet in front of that theatre?” You asked.   “Oh, I saw the show last week with my parents and it’s an easy location, tucked out the way a bit yet still in central London.” Pansy seemed to have blossomed in the time since you had last seen her. her hair had grown long and glossy, and she was pretty, very pretty.   “You? You saw a musical?” You couldn’t help the laugh that left your lips. Pansy rolled her eyes and pushed you playfully.   “Don’t judge unless you’ve seen one yourself. The music is to die for.” She smirked and lead you up a busy street. “Do you want to look at the Christmas Markets?” Pansy asked as she picked up a bauble from a nearby stall and inspected it. You wondered if it was a mistake to meet in such a crowded place so close to Christmas but, as she had reminded you, less chance of bumping into somebody you know.   “Actually Pans, I need to talk to you.” You replied, she nodded and lead you across the square to a café, all of the tables were either taken or dirty. You both looked over your shoulders as you pointed your wand at a table in the corner and the dirty mugs and plates stacked and ended up on the next table over. “What do you want? I have muggle money.” You said as you reached into your purse and pulled out one of the paper notes; you remembered they were worth more than the coins. Pansy looked from the paper note in your hand and to your face and burst out laughing. “What?!” You demanded. Onlookers from other tables began to stare in your direction as Pansy doubled over laughing.   “Oh, fucking hell, (Y/N). You are so clueless.” She managed through her giggles. “You’re going to pay for two coffees with a fifty-pound note?”   “Is that wrong?” You asked bewildered, surely it was right to take the biggest one?   “Merlin, just put that back in your purse before someone steals it out of your hand and I’ll get the coffees.” Pansy replied, you could see her shoulders still bobbing up and down with laughter even as she queued for your drinks. You couldn’t help but smile too, it had been so long since you had seen her last, too long.

  Pansy ended up taking longer than you anticipated ordering drinks. Your stomach began to rumble, and you felt sick. You ran a hand through your hair and sighed, you needed to speak to Pansy about the situation. You had nobody else to turn to. You stared aimlessly out of the window at the last- minute Christmas shoppers frantically move from shop to shop. You wondered if George would have taken the things you had bought for his family back to the shops, or if he would have wrapped them terribly and dished them out. You cringed at the idea of Molly seeing George’s wrapping and thinking it was yours. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a flash of gold and a suitcase whizz pass the window. Your heart raced as you made eye contact with him, Mundungus Fletcher. Behind him he pulled a trolley you saw old ladies carry their shopping in full of tat. He raised a ringed hand up and waved at you through the glass, a sneer fixed on his stupid face. You reached for your wand, but he was too fast, he weaved through the crowd and was gone. You searched for him wildly with your eyes, you craned your neck to try and see further, but it was no use. He had disappeared as quickly as he appeared. You tried to quell the hatred that bubbled under your skin and took a deep breath.   “Who was that?” Pansy asked as she set a tray on the table. She passed you your coffee and a slice of cake and put the tray on the floor.   “Nobody.” You muttered. You thanked her and took a sip, you grimaced as you swallowed it. Muggle coffee was terrible, watery and bland. It made you long for home, the kitchen staff at your parent’s house were always at the top of their game. It had spoiled you really, you had made such an effort to learn how to do everything yourself. You wouldn’t be one of them. You refused.   “What did you want to talk about?” Pansy said as she shovelled a forkful of cake into her mouth. You bit your lip; you didn’t know how to say it. “Oi, you haven’t dragged me all the way to London just for a coffee so talk.”   “I’m late.”   “What do you mean?”   “My period’s late.”

  Pansy’s fork stopped halfway to her mouth; her eyes wide with shock. You tapped on the table nervously and glanced over your shoulder. You would be mortified if you found yourself in another situation like the one of the last few days.   “How long?”   “Nearly two weeks now that I think about it.”   “Shit.”   “What do I do, Pansy?” Your eyes brimmed with tears as you watched your friends face flit between emotions. Pansy’s usually stern face softened, she ran a hand over her beautifully quaffed hair and sighed.   “Have you been to St. Mungo’s?” She asked, you shook your head.   “I didn’t know I had to. I only realised this morning and that’s when I wrote you straight away.”    “Right, okay. So, first thing you need to do is go to St. Mungo’s, you’ll see a mediwitch and they’ll make you drink a potion to see if you’re…pregnant or not.” She whispered, you nodded tearfully.   “Is that it? I just need to go to St. Mungo’s?”   “Well, you need to make an appointment first. Only-” She stopped short, she frowned, and her brow furrowed.   “Only?” You prompted.   “Only, it’s the day before Christmas Eve (Y/N). They’ll be no appointments until after the New Year, I’m sure.”   “Is it the 23rd already?” You asked, “Fuck me, I didn’t realise.” You paused. “So I have to wait?” Pansy nodded and swallowed another mouthful of cake. She pondered for a second before she sat up straight in her chair.   “Unless…”   “Unless?” You asked, you were growing impatient.   “There is the old-fashioned way of finding out. The muggle way, it’s just as effective. My sister had to do it before she was of age and she had it off with one of the Black cousins.”   “Which is?”

******

  You shifted your weight uneasily from foot to foot. You were in Piccadilly Circus waiting outside of a, you think Pansy called it a chemist? She didn’t trust you to not have a breakdown in the middle of a muggle pharmacy so left you to wait outside. It was bitterly cold and the snow had begun to fall harder than before. You watched as muggle pedestrians tried to weather their way through the flurry. How had it gotten to be the 23rd of December without you noticing? How had you let yourself not notice that your period was late? Very, very late, you cursed. You couldn’t help but be slightly angry at Fred and George, you had worked your fingers to the bone over the last few weeks to make sure the sop was stocked to the brim ready for Christmas. You had been exhausted, and still found time to cook and clean for the boys too. No, stop that, you thought. You were just irritable and nervous. You weren’t angry at the boys; you loved the boys; and were so proud of everything they had achieved in such a small space of time. Its natural to have bumps in the road, you just hoped there wouldn’t be a bump of another kind making an appearance.

  You shook your head to try and rid yourself of these thoughts. It was no use to anyone to berate yourself, you placed a hesitant hand on your stomach. You prayed silently to Merlin, to anybody that could possibly hear you. You whispered the words over and over again in your mind, please don’t let me be pregnant please don’t let me be pregnant please don’t let me be-   “Got it!” Pansy thrust a plastic bag in your direction, followed by a handful of coins. You cocked your head to the side in confusion. “Your change,” she announced and placed the money in your hand. “Merlin, you know absolutely nothing do you.” You offered her a tight-lipped smile as she linked her arm with yours and you hurried away from the pulsing crowd.   “Right, let’s go to your flat and get this over with.” Pansy stated, she pointed to the designated apparation point and looked at you expectantly. The thought of going into an empty flat filled you with a dread that quickly turned to sickness, a bile that rose in your throat. You shook your head and slumped against the wall behind you.   “I can’t Pans, I can’t go back there now. Not today, I’m not ready.” You muttered, your hair fell into your face and shielded it from Pansy’s view. You felt Pansy put an arm around her shoulders. She pulled you close to her and enveloped you in a hug. The tears you had been holding in since you left Severus’ (could you even call him that now?) house fell from your heavy eyes as you clutched to your friend for dear life. She rubbed your back and swayed you from side to side.   “That’s okay, we don’t have to go there. Let’s just go to where you’re staying.”   “I can’t take you there either!” You laughed through your tears, Pansy laughed too and brushed her thumb across your cheek.   “Fucking hell, you truly are off grid, aren’t you? Don’t do break-ups by half.”   “We haven’t broken up, Pansy. I just needed some time away. I haven’t been on my own since…since-”   “Shh. I know, I know. I was just winding you up.” She pushed you back gently and held you at arm’s length. “Now stop crying please, you’re making me uncomfortable.” You laughed again and smiled weakly at her. You exhaled deeply and nodded. You needed to pull up your big girl pants and be an adult.   “I’ll owl you as soon as I know.” You said, Pansy’s face fell into a look of concern as you took a step back from her.   “Have I not shown you, you can trust me, (Y/N)?” She replied, she looked hurt and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.   “Yes, of course you have, Pansy. I just- I need to do this alone.” Pansy sniffed in indifference and crossed her arms over her chest. You felt instantly guilty, you loathed to upset your friend, especially when she had gone above and beyond for you; but you needed to do this by yourself.   “Fine. But you should let George know, it’s as much his concern as it is yours.” Pansy said stiffly before she turned away from you and disapparated with a small pop!

  You were still for a moment. The snow had turned to sleet and it seemed to soak you through to your very bones as you stood. How had everything turned into such a mess in such a small space of time? Of course, Pansy was right, you needed to tell George. He had a right to know what was going on as anybody else and another feeling of guilt flooded over your already aching chest.

******

  Desdemona was waiting patiently on a streetlamp as you approached Severus’ house. She let out an almighty hoot as you spotted her in the encroaching darkness, she flew quicky from her porch and nearly into your face.   “Bloody stupid bird,” You muttered as you extended an arm. Desdemona landed roughly; her talons pinched your skin under your winter coat as she offered the letter in her beak. Your heart sank as you took it, it could only be from your parents. “I don’t have anything for you. Go home.” You ordered her, if you didn’t know any better you could have sworn she rolled her eyes before she took off into the sky. You watched her fly for as far as you could see her, her tawny features hard to make out after a while. With a groan, you let yourself in to the house.

  You settled in Severus’ armchair and kicked your shoes off. The letter from your parents held tightly in your hand, it felt heavy and you were anxious yet reluctant to find out what it said. You sank lower into the comfortable leather and brought your knees to your chest and teased open the envelope. It wasn’t a howler, that was for certain. A smaller envelope dropped out of the initial one, and a folded piece of parchment landed on your lap. Ignoring the small envelope, you picked up the note and noticed immediately it was written in your father’s hand.

Daughter,

I understand you have moved to Diagon Alley with your partner; congratulations, I’m pleased you have found happiness. I must admit, this is to be a strange Christmas without you here with us. I will leave your stocking above the fireplace like always. I wish for you to understand that you are always welcome here, this is your home. I am your father. You will always be my little girl. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.

Enclosed you will find your Christmas present; your mother gave her blessing for me to send it to you.

Merry Christmas, my darling.

You clutched the letter to your chest as you sobbed. You traced your finger over your father’s words, as if you could touch him through the parchment. You missed him more than words could say, you hadn’t anticipated how much so. In the time that had elapsed since you had last seen him, it was easy to forget the good things, the best things about your father; instead remembering him as the distant man who told you to run instead of protecting you. But he had, from the coldness of your mother, from the sneering remarks of the other noble families as a child and finally from your torment as you sat alone at Christmas.

  You padded solemnly into the kitchen and retrieved the bottle of port and the glass tumbler you had set out the night before. You poured yourself a healthy measure and as you brought the glass to your lips, you stopped. You remembered the white plastic bag you had flung on the floor at the bottom of the stairs when you arrived back, your stomach gurgled, and you bit your lip. What were you to do? Well, you knew exactly what you should do. You should write to George immediately, or better yet, go straight to The Burrow and you could do this together but- there was a part of you that felt that if you were to go to him now, you would be conceding. You would be letting yourself down. You hadn’t run straight into George’s arms the minute Mundungus’ plot was uncovered, if you were to go back now after two nights away from him would make you look weak. You demanded space, you demanded time to think and get away; you deserved it! George had to understand that he had hurt you immeasurably and not everything could be solved by a kiss and a cuddle.

  Regardless, if it turned out you weren’t pregnant then what would have been the need? You would have gone back to him at the first sign of trouble like always, and you weren’t prepared to it this time. If you were pregnant then yes, you would go to him. You would sit down and have an adult conversation over what to do next; but if you weren’t? You could perhaps enjoy this time to yourself before you returned to him. Before you decided what it was exactly you were to say to him. The layers of guilt that had so far weighed heavy on your chest eased slightly, your affirmations to yourself that this was the right thing to do, seemed to have assuaged you some. It was time, you knew it was. It was now or never, and it was most certainly, now.

  You read and re-read the instructions on the side of the box as you sat on the toilet. Your hand trembled as it held the little white stick, you parted your legs and pushed your hand between them; no idea if the stick was in the right position. When you were satisfied that you had done what you needed to, you pulled the stick away and popped the little blue cap on the used end. The box said it would take two minutes to give you a result, so with that, after thoroughly washing your hands, you returned to the living room. You placed the ‘test’ (it was most unlike any test you had ever taken in your life thus far) on the table face down, so you couldn’t see the little window and picked Dracula up from its perch on the nearby shelf. It was then that you noticed the small envelope your father had sent on the arm of the chair. You opened it gently, unsure of what it could be. Onto your lap fell an incredibly delicate silver choker encrusted with brilliant emeralds and littered with small diamonds, given to your mother when your grandmother died. You lifted it to the light and watched how the jewels caught the light. This piece of jewellery had been in your family for generations, You had admired it since you were a little girl, it had sat pride of place around your mother’s neck for special occasions, and you had tried it on- once or twice. Your mother would have been furious if she had found out. Your heart swelled with pride as you traced your fingers lovingly across it, that your mother wanted you to have it. Progress perhaps?

  A thunderous banging on the front door caused you to yelp in fear. You reached into the pocket of your jeans and produced your wand, you waved it frantically across the room and with a puff, all the candles were extinguished. You were plunged into darkness. Your heart pounded in your chest as you inched slowly out of the living room; wand raised- you weren’t sure what use it would be in the dark, but you refused to cast a Lumos. Severus had said he wasn’t expecting anyone at the house, and to not let anybody inside. You swallowed your fear and allowed yourself a second to think. The only people who would know what this house was, would either be one of two kinds. Muggles, probably drunk, banging on the wrong door or the darker alternative. The one you hoped to Merlin it wasn’t. The banging recommenced as you entered the hallway, you flinched at the sound but continued in your progress toward the front door. The early evening had well given way to night, and the only thing you could make out through the panes of glass in the door, was the shadowy figure that once again brought its hand up to bang against the wood. You crept silently along the hallway, with each step your pulse quickened as with trembling hand, you slowly reached for the catch. You felt a trickle of sweat run down your neck as you clasped the metal knob and turned it ever so slightly, you aimed to open the catch and fling the door open to the surprise of the intruder. You hoped to catch them off guard. As soon as you heard the click of the door, you flung it open.   “Stupefy!” You exclaimed, but he was faster.   “Expelliarmus.” Your wand flew from your hand and landed in his, bloodied and shaking. You blinked, unmoving as he reached for you. His other hand grasped onto your shirt as he tried to stand up straight. You recoiled backwards; it was instinctual. You noticed the hand which held fast onto the front of your shirt was also drenched in blood.   “Don’t scream.” He breathed, “Don’t scream, just…help…me inside.” You managed to nod and grasp him under his arm, as with the other he left bloody handprints along the wall. He kicked the door closed behind him as you helped him into the lounge, and with a big heave, assisted him to the sofa. “Why…is it so…dark?”

  In a second, every candle was lit, and you were able to get a good look at his face.   “What happened to you, Severus?” You asked horrified, he had a large gash on his cheek that bled freely. He clutched his side, and you noticed a flash of skin underneath his hands, he was wounded, badly. Bleeding profusely, what the fuck do you do? “Tell me what to do.”   “Dittany.” Severus whispered, “Cupboard in…bathroom.” You raced from the lounge up the stairs as fast as your feet could carry you, you wrenched open the bathroom cupboard and frantically searched for Essence of Dittany. You noticed that your hands were also covered in blood, his blood as you twisted and turned every bottle until you clasped your hand around the brown bottle.   “Give it to me.” Severus said weakly, he reached for the bottle, but you shook your head.   “No, you can’t-”   “I didn’t ask for…your opinion witch, give…me the…bottle.” He wheezed through gritted teeth, his face was a mass of blood now, like he had somehow tried to quell the bleeding but had somehow made it worse. You hesitated for a moment before you handed the bottle to him. He reached forward with a surprisingly steady hand and applied three drops to his cheek, his face contorted in pain as a small puff of green smoke rose around him. He winced as he tried to sit up, “Help me,” was all he said. Again, you supported his arm and helped right him. “My coat, I can’t reach-” You reached for his buttons and swiftly tried to undo them, he writhed beneath you, obviously in a copious amount of pain.   “Sorry!” You breathed as you reached his midsection, you could see clearly now the wound on his side. It looked as if he had been sliced, the blood was thick and dark as it oozed out of him. Tears stung your eyes as you panicked, you felt so very overwhelmed and with no idea how to help him. You tried to gently manoeuvre his arms through his sleeves, his jaw clenched and with two tugs, you managed it. He pulled his shirt up to his chest and granted you a look at how thin he was. You almost cringed at the sight of every rib in the poor man’s body, his stomach and what you could see of his chest were absolutely littered with scars; some old, some new.   “You will have to help…with this one.” Severus said, he looked better, if that was possible. The wound on his cheek shone purple, as if it had been there all along. The only tell-tale sign was the blood beginning to dry there. You rolled him onto his side and took the bottle from his hands, opening it quickly. You placed a gentle hand above his wound, just to the side of where his ribs jutted out. Severus flinched one and then relaxed as you tenderly brushed your fingers against his skin.   “Ready?” You asked, he gave a curt nod and you applied four drops of the Dittany across his wound. Severus, to his credit, let out a groan of pain whilst his whole body shook under the strain of new skin closing the wound. The puff of smoke was larger this time, you held your breath as it passed over your face. You held him in place until his breathing slowed, he looked at you askance and motioned to be helped up. “Do you want some water?” You asked as you pulled his shirt back down, covering him up. Severus shook his head.   “Whisky.” You rolled your eyes but knew better than to argue with him. You stood and brushed your hands against your jeans, you were sticky with his blood and felt uncomfortable. You hurried over to the drinks cabinet and pulled out a bottle of the amber liquid. Severus held his hand open and you passed him the bottle, he pulled the cork out with his teeth and brought it to his lips.  

  You watched him as he took sip after sip of the whisky, the colour eventually returned to his cheeks and you felt satisfied to leave him for a moment. You wandered into the kitchen and doused your hands with soap, scrubbing them hard to remove the blood. You fought back tears as the image of Severus writhing in pain engrained itself into your mind. You had never seen so much blood in your life and shuddered as you remembered the smell of the smoke as his skin knit together. You found him asleep on the sofa as you entered, bottle tipped to the side and his face peaceful. Carefully, you slipped his shoes from his feet and propped his legs up onto the sofa. Your wands lay together on the floor, you retrieved yours and Accio’d his duvet and a pillow, laying the latter under his head as you covered him in the blanket.

  You retrieved your cloak and settled into the armchair, you pulled it up to your chin and hooked your legs over one of the arms. It wasn’t comfortable, not in the slightest, but you couldn’t justify leaving him in his state. Your hand closed around your wand and pressed it against your chest, ready, just in case. For what- you didn’t know.

******

  “Sleep well?”

  You awoke with a start. Severus sat across the room from you, he was upright on the sofa. He still looked weak, but his eyes sparkled with humour.   “Like the dead.” You offered feebly; you arched your back; oh, fuck it was agony. You winced and Severus chuckled, your neck was stiff as you craned it to look at him.   “Nice choice of words.” You grimaced as you swung your legs onto the floor and ran your hands through your hair. You were surprised to feel the ends were dried red. Oh, of course. You shuddered as a fleeting image of the previous night’s bloody work crossed your thoughts. Brushing it off, you stood. “Coffee?”   “Please.” He answered, he looked more tired than you had ever seen as he watched you lazily. You returned a few moments later with two mugs of coffee, his black obviously, Severus nodded in thanks. You drank in silence, neither of you looking at the other. After a while, you stood without speaking. You felt disgusting, you were covered almost head to toe in Severus’ blood, although you had scrubbed at your hands- you hadn’t realised how messy it had been.

  You allowed yourself to cry in the bath. The water was hot and as you sank beneath the surface, you felt pathetic. You sobbed, more than you had in days. Your throat hurt and your eyes were swollen. Your heart hurt, why? Were you scared? Scared that someone might come after Severus and you would be caught in the crossfire? Or guilty that the man who had shown you so much kindness had been so dreadfully hurt and you hesitated in answering the door.

  He was sat in the same position that he had been in when you left him. He didn’t look like he had moved a muscle.   “Are you in pain?” You asked quietly, you felt stupid asking him stood in your Christmas pyjamas, but you were quickly running out of clean clothes.   “Immensely,” Severus answered wryly, he pointed at the coffee table. “What’s that?” Your gaze followed the direction of his pointed finger and your stomach fell.   “Nothing. Don’t worry.” You replied quickly, you snatched the pregnancy test and thrust it into the pocket of your pyjama bottoms. How the fuck had you forgotten about that? Your heart raced; you could know. You could know now, all you had to was look at the little window and it would tell you all you needed to know.  “Is that a pregnancy test?” Severus asked, the whisper of a smile tugged at his lips as you blushed.   “No.” You lied, why would he know what a pregnancy test looked like anyway? Especially a muggle one. Severus shook his head.   “If you say so.” He paused and watched you, your hair dripped big, wet droplets onto your shoulders. “Bring me some parchment and a quill, I need to write a letter.”   “Do you not think you should rest?” His face was aghast as you questioned him, you squared your shoulders and met his gaze.   “I promise not to exert myself too much moving my wrist.” You gave him a look of annoyance as he made a gesture as if he were writing. You rolled your eyes again, he chuckled once and then grasped his side in pain. Good, that serves him right for being a dick. You smirked to yourself as you retrieved parchment and a quill along with the silver whistle and thrust them into his hands.   “Would you like something to eat?” You watched him as, even with the sheer amount of pain he was in, his hand was steady as he wrote fluidly across the page. Severus ignored you as he continued to write. You sat in the armchair and watched him for several minutes, you noticed he brought the feathery tip of his quill to his lips every once in a while, in thought. It was almost hypnotic, watching his hand glide across the parchment, the only sound the scratching of his quill.

  The test in your pocket burned with anticipation. You reached for it deftly, careful not to make any sudden movements so as not to disturb Severus. Your fingers grasped it and pulled it out slowly, you shot a glance in his direction, satisfied that his attention was firmly placed upon his writing. You turned it over and…nothing. You panicked and turned it over, upside down and back to front. The little window that displayed the result was empty- no lines.   “Did you not read the instructions?” Severus called from the other side of the room. You gave him an uneasy look. “It quite clearly states that results disappear after twelve hours.” He hadn’t even looked up from his parchment, or so it seemed. You raced from the living room to the bathroom and plunged your hands into the wastebin in search for the box. He was right, of course he was right. Why wouldn’t he be right? You felt the blood drain from your cheeks as you slowly made your way back down the stairs.   “Idiot.” Severus mumbled, just loud enough for you to hear as you paced the length of the room. What were you to do now? It was Christmas Eve; you couldn’t face going back into the crowds. “I need you to take this to The Leaky Cauldron.” Severus’ deep baritone distracted you from your thoughts as he passed the parchment he had been writing on in your direction. You rose from your chair to take it from him, he had closed it in on itself over and over again until it appeared miniscule in your hand. Some kind of enchantment to dissuade the prying eyes of those unintended to read it, you supposed.     “What is it?” You enquired, turning it over in your fingers. Severus motioned you forward and held his arms out to you.   “You don’t need to know. Help me up.” Severus muttered and as you placed your arms around his back, your chests flush together; you blushed at the close proximity. He placed his hands onto your shoulders and supported himself to a standing position. “I need to go to the toilet.” He took two steps and swayed, he grasped hold of your arm to steady yourself.   “I can apparate us upstairs, Severus.” You stated, he grimaced and placed your arm under his.   “No, I’ll be sick. Help me and I might be able to help you with your problem.” He gave you a strained smirk and you nodded. You wondered what he could mean as you slowly supported him up the narrow staircase. You waited awkwardly outside of the door for a moment while he relieved himself, you accio’d his duvet and pillow and returned them to his bedroom, taking care to clear up the clothes you had scattered around the floor. When he emerged from the bathroom, you noticed his face was wet. He had attempted to wash his face rather unsuccessfully and you suppressed a laugh. You helped him into bed and pulled the covers over him, he seemed to relax under your care; letting you wipe a warm flannel across his face to remove the stains of his blood and hummed contentedly.   “You can do the rest yourself,” you announced. He opened his eyes and regarded you, “You can piss off if you think I’m going to give you a bath.” He laughed at this, a real smile appeared on his face and you smiled back, it was nice to see.   “Agreed. I can manage for now.” He sighed, “How late are your courses?”   “My courses?” You looked at him quizzically, Severus grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose.   “Your period, (Y/N). How late?” You blushed again and fiddled with the hem of your shirt, he looked at you expectantly as if he had asked you a question about the ingredients of a potion.   “Two weeks.” You answered, Severus nodded slowly and looked to the ceiling as if in thought.   “Yes, I think I shall be able to help you. Let me sleep for a while, deliver that letter for me and when you come back, we can eat, and we shall get to the bottom of this.” You sighed; you really didn’t want to go back to The Leaky Cauldron.  “Who shall I give it to?”   “Give it to Tom, he’ll see it gets where it needs to go.” Severus replied, his eyes closed again.   “Am I to say who it’s from?” Severus opened one eye and gave you a dark look, he wet his lips and frowned.   “Obviously.”

*******

  You hesitated before pushing open the door to The Leaky Cauldron, it was midday, and the pub was filled yet again with people making merry. You fought your way to the bar and waited to catch the attention of the young witch behind it, your neck craned in each direction to catch a glimpse of her. She appeared finally, two large trays of glasses hovering behind her as she began to rearrange the glassware behind the bar.   “Excuse me!” You said as you waved your hand, she noticed you and gave you a smile.   “Oh, hiya!” She said warmly, “Can I get you a drink?”   “No thank you,” You replied, “Is Tom available?”   “He certainly is,” A voice behind you said, you whirled round to be met with Tom’s smiling face. “Can I help you, miss?”   “Yes actually, I was told to give you this.” You showed him the tiny piece of folded parchment, Tom’s eyes flashed from it to yours and gave you a concerned look.   “Is this from…”   “Severus Snape, yes. He told me you’d know what to do with it.” You levelled, he took it from your hand and placed it into the pocket of his shirt.   “I assume there must be a reason why he sent you and not delivered it himself.” Tom replied with a raised eyebrow, you refused to let your mind wander to the events from the night before.   “Yes, but it’s not for me to say so- can I leave it with you?”   “Of course, I’ll see to it that everything is in order, tell him.” Tom replied, “Merry Christmas, miss.”   “Merry Christmas, Tom.” You watched as he withdrew into the crowd, you turned to the witch behind the bar. “Merry Christmas.” You smiled, she offered you a grin in return and waved her hand.   “Merry Christmas.” She replied cheerfully.

  You didn’t want to go into Diagon Alley, but your feet carried you over the cobbled stones to the dismay of your heart. Despite the growing tensions in the wizarding world, the wonky street was abuzz with people; not unlike the shoppers you had seen in Piccadilly Circus with Pansy. There was a long queue outside of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and you smiled sadly as you approached the window. The display you had spent so long working on looked magnificent, snow fell from behind the glass and tiny enchanted swans swam in a small lake, surrounded by miniature fur trees and families of deer.     “Penny for your thoughts?” You noticed Fred’s reflection in the glass appear next to you. You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed tightly.   “I thought you’d still be at The Burrow!” You exclaimed, he laughed and hugged you back. You pulled away and looked into his face, he looked well and cheerful. You had learned the differences between him and George over time, subtle though they were.   “Well somebody’s got to be here to run the shop,” Fred said as he gestured to the busy building, “I’m going back tonight.” You nodded in understanding and he placed your hand in the crook of his arm. “Fancy a walk?”

  Fred led you passed the bustle of the shops and back towards the apparation point.   “You okay, Freddie?”   “Yeah yeah,” He answered quietly, it must be difficult for him to see you- to know what had transpired between you and George. “Look, I don’t want to bombard you with questions or anything, (Y/N). But I need to know; is that you and George done? You left things so up in the air with him, and he’s putting on a brave face don’t get me wrong but…he’s my brother, and I can tell he’s hurting.” You bit your bottom lip, you hated to think about George in pain; but you just weren’t ready to talk about things.   “No, Fred. We’re not done…but he really hurt me, he said some awful things to me; accused me of terrible things and it’s going to take some time for me to be ready to have a conversation about it. Let alone forgive him.” You paused and wiped away a tear that fell onto your cheek. “I suppose I just never expected he could be like that. It surprised me.”   “Bloody surprised us all mate. When George came flying down to the shop floor after you left, ranting and raving- I’d never seen that side of him before. And Merlin, when Snape arrived at mum’s with Mundungus Fletcher, I thought he would wind up with a wand suspension the way he was trying to hex Mundungus.” Fred exhaled with a small laugh, you matched it with a smile. “He’s a good bloke, (Y/N). You mean everything to him. Believe me, I’ve had to share a room with him for the best part of two decades. If you’re not ready to talk about anything, can I at least tell him I saw you today and what you said? I’m sure it’ll make him feel loads better if he knew you hadn’t, you know, broken up with him without him realising.” You considered it for a moment, if Fred told George he had seen you today; it might make him want to find you. He had really respected your space so far and you were grateful for it, but the thought of making Fred keep something like this from his brother was too big of an ask. Plus, you were also keeping a huge secret from him, but you couldn’t tell Fred before you told George- it wasn’t right.   “Yeah, of course, Freddie. Tell him, you can also tell him Merry Christmas and that…I love him.” Fred made a gagging noise and you smacked him on the arm. “I need to go.” You pulled Fred in for one last hug and squeezed enough for him and George. He chuckled as you walked to the apparation point and gave him a big wave goodbye.

*******

  Severus stayed upstairs all afternoon and well into the evening. You couldn’t blame him though, it looked as though he had been through a massive ordeal and he needed time to recover, you couldn’t begrudge him that. You found a magical cooking book in one of the cupboards and coupled with some of the food you had bought at the supermarket, you managed to cook a reasonably tasty meal. Severus made comments about the quality of the steak, but you expected nothing less. You suspected it was only to save face though, as twice when he thought you weren’t looking, you saw him close his eyes and savour the taste of the food. You had served him in his meal in bed, he had managed to prop himself up on the pillows and you sat at the foot of the bed. It seemed quite personal really, but you found yourself savouring the intimate moments you shared with him. It made you feel like he did actually care for you, as more than an ex pupil, as a friend. He asked you about The Leaky Cauldron, who you spoke to, how you got home. After a moment, you felt brave.   “Who did this to you, Severus?” Severus sighed and passed his empty plate over to you.   “Nobody.”   “I find that extremely hard to believe. I need to know if I’m in danger.” You asked him earnestly, he met your gaze with a softness you seldom saw from the man.   “You’re in no more danger now than you have been in the last three days. Please don’t concern yourself with my welfare.” He answered, you suspected he intended to seem sterner than he came across. You wondered if he couldn’t muster the energy to chastise you.   “It’s a bit difficult to do that when I have to take you to the loo every time you want a piss.”   “You’re vile.”     “Pot, kettle, black. I found your blood in my ear this morning. That’s vile.” You laughed and he managed a laugh too. “I’m just glad I was here when you arrived last night.”   “Whether you were here or not, I would have gotten inside one way or another.” He levelled nonchalantly.   “Would it really be so horrendous to just say ‘thank you’?” You let out an exasperated sigh and flopped backwards on the bed. He eyed you with annoyance, but you could tell it was fleeting.   “Yes, actually. For me anyway.”     “Well I’m not surprised. You’re just annoyed I’m working off my debt to you.” You winked and rolled from the bed, you picked up your used plates and took them downstairs.

    You returned when he called for you. You held two glasses of port in your hands and found him in his study.   “When did you get in here?” You asked with a smile, pleased to see him on his feet, if not slightly unsteady.   “I am an enigma of a man, (Y/N). I wouldn’t expect your tiny brain to even begin to comprehend me.” Severus answered with a smirk, you passed him the glass and he raised it to his lips and drank deeply. “Delicious.” It was then you noticed the cauldron bubbling contentedly on his desk. You wandered over to it and inspected the shimmering, iridescent silver liquid, it smelled foul; like rotten eggs and you recoiled.   “What the fuck is that?” You demanded as you covered your nose. Severus had his back to you; he ran a finger along one of the shelves which held bottles of all shapes and sizes and plucked a large green bottle with a jade lid. You watched as he carefully unscrewed the top and dropped a tiny drop of the liquid onto a sprig of lavender. The flowers wilted instantly, and he dropped the whole thing into the cauldron. A great lilac cloud erupted from the cauldron and dissipated as Severus waved his hand.   “This, (Y/N) is a pregnancy test.” Severus replied with a satisfied smile. He beckoned you over to the desk and you sighed as the smell had gotten progressively worse with the addition of the lavender. The liquid had changed from its silver to a dark burgundy, it still held its iridescence as it bubbled.   “Is this what they use in St. Mungo’s?”   “Merlin no, they use a potion so convoluted there you could have had the baby by the time you receive an answer.” Severus sniffed, “This is Enfantin Inventim, it’s old. Really, very old. They stopped using this in everyday practise about three hundred years ago. It’s notoriously difficult to prepare and can often lead to an incorrect result.”   “Should we use it then? If it can give an incorrect result?” You asked anxiously, the last thing you needed was to wait another day. You needed to get on with your life, one way or the other.   “Do you think I would prepare something that would achieve anything other than one-hundred-percent accuracy?” Severus snapped. He had a point; he was a potions master for a reason.   “Okay, what do I do?”   “It isn’t pleasant, (Y/N). Do you trust me?” You considered it for a moment and then nodded, he offered his hand to you, you took it and he pulled you towards him forcefully. Severus winced with the effort and forced your hand open. He quickly drew a pearl-encrusted dagger across the length of your palm, easily opening the flesh. You howled in pain and tried to pull your hand back, Severus clasped it into a fist and squeezed tightly. Blood began to fall from you hand and he brought it over the cauldron, the potion drank your blood hungrily and after you parted with ten drops, the potion began to cloud over.  

  “Stand back.” He commanded, he gave you a scrap of cloth and you pressed it hard into the palm of your hand. “If the liquid turns white, you’re pregnant. If it turns black, you’re in the clear.”   “How long do we have to wait?” You whispered and closed your eyes.   “Not long.” In that moment, you wished George were by your side. He would know exactly what to say, and even if he didn’t, he would make you laugh. You imagined his hand around your waist and his lips pressed to your head in a gentle kiss.   “Severus. If I am…you know. What do I do?”   “I imagine what women have done for a millennia-”   “No, what I mean is-” You paused, unsure of how he would react. “Do I have a- do I have a choice?”   “Of course you have a choice. I can put you in contact with some discreet mediwitches. They’re friendly and would have you sorted in no time.” “Okay.”

  You waited for what seemed an age. You tended to your wounded hand and shot a scowl in Severus’ direction when he likened it to a scratch compared to his. The cauldron continued to bubble, it produced green smoke and spat out occasionally. You couldn’t take it anymore. Severus stirred it dutifully and you told him you’d be back in a moment, trapsing your way to the bathroom. You paced back and forth frantically. You couldn’t stand the waiting idly by, you had fashioned a bandage for your hand out of the cloth and some rolled up toilet paper when you caught your reflection in the mirror. You moved towards it and placed your hands gently on the sink underneath it.   “You need to sort your fucking life out, (Y/N).” You said to your reflection, you stared deeply into your own face. Hardly even recognising the person reflected back to you.   “(Y/N)!” You heard Severus shout from the study. “It’s done.” You supressed the bile that rose in your throat and took a deep breath. You stepped uneasily back into the room to see Severus’ neutral face waiting for you. He stood with his hands behind his back.   “Have you looked?”   “Yes.”   “What is it?”   “For fucks sake, have a look.” He snapped; he shook his head with a scowl as you inched toward the cauldron. Your hands trembled as you peered down into the now still liquid. It was black. The liquid was black.   “It’s-”   “Black.” He answered with a smile.   “I’m-”   “Not. Pregnant.”

  You cried out a tremendous cry of relief. Big tears rolled down your cheeks as you moved to Severus in two swift movements and threw your arms around his shoulders. He swayed with surprise.   “Ow. Careful.” He murmured before he patted you awkwardly on the back. When you pulled away, you beamed triumphantly up at him and he returned your smile. “You can thank me by releasing me.” You complied with a laugh, a genuine laugh. You felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest, you breathed easier than you had done in weeks.   “Thank you, Severus. I suggest you stop being nice to me or I’ll forever feel indebted to you.” You laughed, you noticed Severus’ expression alter slightly. “What? What did I say?”   “I feel like I haven’t been quite honest with you.” Severus said quietly, “Don’t interrupt me, just let me finish, yes?” You nodded and took a step back. You waited patiently for Severus to speak, he seemed to mull the words over before he was satisfied.   “You asked me a while ago whether I’m this involved with all of my old student’s lives, and I think we both know the answer to that. When I returned to Malfoy Manor after I took you to The Burrow, your father took me to one side.” You eyed him suspiciously as he wet his lips before continuing, “He knew what I had done and asked for a favour.”   “Of course he did.”   “Shut up, I’m not finished. He asked me if would be able to keep an eye on you, he knew I had connections almost everywhere, and he wanted reports of your whereabouts. And I agreed.” You stared unblinking at Severus. “He offered monthly payments if I could tell him where you were going, what you were doing, who you were seeing etcetera.” Severus squared his shoulders and took a sip of his port. “He just wanted to know you were safe.”   “So he paid you to spy on me?”   “In essence, yes. I never accepted the money though.” Severus levelled, you covered your eyes with your good hand and sighed.   “That’s why you let me stay in your house.” Severus nodded grimly and gestured for you to sit. You did so and chewed on your lip. You felt a multitude of emotions, not one of them good.   “There is one more thing, (Y/N). That night in The Leaky Cauldron where Mundungus saw you and I for the first time. He was there on my orders.” Your mouth fell agape. No, no absolutely not, that couldn’t be. Severus couldn’t possibly have ordered the hurt that Mundungus inflicted. You stared at him again, stony faced as tears began to trickle down your cheek.   “I heard you though, I followed you into the alleyway when you confronted him.” You said feebly, your lip quivered.   “I know, I made sure you would hear so not to suspect me. I was annoyed at him though, that was never part of the plan. He went rogue, so to speak.”

  A heavy silence descended between the pair of you. Severus, his usual staidness reduced to slumped shoulders and a guilty expression. There was a plethora of things you wanted to say, questions you wanted to ask him, but you couldn’t find the words. He finished his port and hobbled out of the room, your heard him enter the bathroom. You sat still, positively unable to process everything he had told you. Was there anything in your life that you held control over? When he appeared in the doorway, his face was ashen with pain and a thin layer of sweat appeared on his brow.   “Do you have any cigarettes?” You asked him slowly. He nodded and pointed downstairs, you pushed passed him and retrieved them from his discarded coat. You carried the remainder of the bottle of port back with you and sat on the floor. Severus moved slowly passed you and collapsed into the chair, the evidence of his exertion etched into his face. You filled his glass with the ruby liquid and then pressed the bottle to your lips and took three deep swigs. He raised an eyebrow as if to complain but thought better of it.   “Did you ever care about me, Severus? Because if it isn’t already clear, I care about you.” You pulled a cigarette out of the packet and lit it, you threw the packet into Severus’ lap, a little harder than you intended. He winced and lit his own cigarette.   “Of course I care.” You scoffed and took another swig from the bottle.   “And are you going to tell him about this? My father?” You pointed to the cauldron full of Enfantin Inventim. Severus shook his head and took a sip.   “No, I did this for you.”   “Why should I believe you?”   “You don’t have to, I suppose. I can’t force you.”

  You were silent again after that, you took long drags of your cigarette until the heat became too much as it reached the filter and burned your lip. You finished off the port and dropped the stub into the now empty bottle. Severus didn’t remove his eyes from your face, as if he were waiting for you to explode. You had every right to, you could go and punch walls and kick holes in doors, but what would that achieve?   “I’m trying really hard to be angry at you.” You whispered. Severus’ look of surprise almost took you off guard.   “And?”   “I can’t.” Severus sighed and slipped further into the chair, he finished his cigarette and beckoned for the empty bottle. He dropped the stub in slowly, his face contorted with pain as he stretched. You watched as he did his usual action of wetting his lips, his tell-tale sign that he was about to speak.   “I do care about you, (Y/N). There’s a goodness in you that one doesn’t always see when they’re brought up in the circles we frequent. I’m satisfied knowing I played my part in ensuring you got out of it all. You remind me very much of somebody I knew a long time ago, someone I wished I could have done more to help, but it wasn’t within my power. This, on the other hand, was very much within my capabilities. I’m not sorry.” His face settled into a frown and you sighed with exasperation.   “Fucks sake.” You muttered, you rose from your spot on the floor and made your way to Severus. You dipped your head and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. “You’re an arsehole.”   “Believe me, (Y/N). That is one of the tamer names I have been called in my time.” He smiled ruefully and found your hand and gave it a squeeze.   “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer it honestly?” You asked, you saw the faintest hint of humour flash across his eyes.   “I shall try.”   “Was it the Dark Lord who hurt you last night?” He looked at you thoughtfully, a smile tugged at his lips. Severus lifted his chin and placed a finger on it and brushed it over his lips.   “Yes.” You didn’t quite know what to do with the information, you weren’t quite sure why you asked the question. You simply nodded and gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Please don’t worry about me, (Y/N). I know what I’m doing.”   “Still.” Severus shrugged, he looked to the clock on the wall and then out of the window into the night.   “If you leave now, you could make it to The Burrow by midnight. Bring in Christmas with your loved ones.” He said quietly, you wondered if you saw the slightest twinge of remorse on his face. You cocked your head to the side.   “You want me to go?”   “I think we both know it’s time for you to, what’s the expression, ‘get your shit together.’” You snorted and threw your head back as you laughed.   “You could come with me, if you like; to The Burrow?” Severus shook his head, his hands outstretched in front of him.   “No thank you, I prefer my own company.”   “What will you do? Will you be okay if I go?”   “I have weathered much more serious casualties than this one by myself. I shall be fine. I will travel back to Hogwarts in the morning ready for my Christmas Dinner.”   “Are you sure?”   “Go,” Severus stated with a small smile, “Get out of my house.”

******

  It was five to midnight when you knocked on the door to The Burrow. You didn’t want to just burst in, just in case they were asleep or busy with family time. Your fingers flew to your neck where the intricate choker your father had sent you sat at the base of your throat; it was a special occasion after all. You knocked again and stood back to take a look at the house. There were a few lights still on even at this late hour, you strained to hear any noises on the other side of the wood and were about to knock for a third time when the door flew open. Ginny stood in fluffy red pyjamas, wand raised and a look of shock on her face. You launched yourself at her and she you, you engulfed each other in a vice like hug.   “I knew you’d come.” She whispered, “George is going to wet himself.” She led you through the house where only Molly, Ginny and Ron sat by the fireplace in the living room. Molly clasped her hands to her mouth as she struggled to get out of her chair quickly.   “Oh! My dear!” She said as she tottered toward you, she pulled you close to her chest and rocked you back and forth. “I am so happy you’re here; we can finally celebrate now.”   “Please don’t, you’re going to make me cry.” You said as Molly pulled away and placed a warm hand to your cheek.   “Welcome home.” She whispered. “I’ll put the kettle on.”

  The sound of feet thundering down the rickety staircase made you jump, Ginny arrived breathlessly at the bottom and George immediately behind her dressed in his pyjamas. Your eyes met across the expanse and you opened your arms to him. He crossed to you in a flash and placed two hands on your face and pressed his lips hungrily to yours. You tossed your arms around his neck, and his arms moved down your body and hugged your waist. You pressed your forehead to his and sighed.   “Merry Christmas.” You breathed; a whisper of a smile played at George’s lips.   “Merry Christmas.” He replied, he laced his fingers with yours and beamed at you. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

  Most of the snow had melted in the fields surrounding The Burrow, and you were grateful for it as George almost dragged you along a beaten path to a wooden bench under a tree, a good quarter of a mile away from the house. He pressed a hand to the seat and shrugged;   “It’s not wet, just cold.”   “I can handle cold.” You sat close to him on the bench, his arm around your shoulders as you both gazed up into the crisp night sky. There was something about the way the stars looked from here, like you could reach out and touch them. Lonely clouds like tiny whisps of smoke littered the sky occasionally, and you took turns in those moments where the stars weren’t visible in giving the other a kiss.   “Merlin, I missed you.” George said into your hair, he stroked the side of your face with a gloved finger and you melted into his touch. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”   “There’ll be plenty of time to talk about it, George, but I need to tell you something.” You replied, his gaze softened as he placed another tender kiss to your lips. You sighed contentedly at the feeling of warmth that spread through you, you were home. He squared his shoulders and shifted slightly on the bench, so to face you more.

  He listened intently whilst you told him of everything since you had last seen him. He nodded and occasionally asked the odd question like; “Was the inside of Snape’s house full of bodies?” and “God, I can’t believe you slept in his bed. Was it a coffin?” The only thing you neglected to tell him was of Severus’ attack, you didn’t know how deep the waters were that surrounded his area of his life and you didn’t feel like it was your place to share that information. When you told him of your pregnancy scare, his eyes widened, and his jaw clenched.   “(Y/N),” He said sternly, “You should have told me straight away. That’s not fair.”   “I know love, I feel awful about it. That’s one thing I’m truly sorry for, George. I promise not do anything like it again.” He nodded, seemingly content with that and kissed the tip of your nose. You began to tell him of the plot your father had embroiled Severus in, and George’s hands clenched into fists.   “That fucking snake.” George muttered, “How are you not furious?”   “Believe me, I tried to be,” You answered, “We talked about it and I decided there’s more important things to be worried about. I don’t blame him for what he did and neither should you, okay?”   “Fine. But I’m not happy about it.”   “I’ll take it.”

  When you climbed into bed that night, it was nearly two in the morning. The rest of the house was sound asleep as you and George became reacquainted. His hands found themselves tangled in your hair and you moaned quietly as he pulled softly, his mouth lathering your neck in kisses.   “Fuck, I’ve missed the sounds you make.” George breathed into your ear, you tipped your head back and found his mouth with yours. His hands travelled from your hair down to your hips, he pulled you close, and you felt his already hard member as it pushed against his boxers. You brought a hand down and cupped it, he hissed at the contact and bucked his hips forward. “Please let me fuck you, (Y/N). It’s been too long.”   “Yes, oh, fuck yes. Do it, George.”

  He wasted no time in pushing your knickers over your bum, and you wiggled frantically in an attempt to free yourself from them. He pulled his boxers down and climbed between your legs, he rubbed his cock against your folds and spat into his hand, rubbing it along his shaft for extra lubrication. When he pushed into you, you moaned together. It was like for one split second, the earth stopped. Everything stopped. You could hear your heartbeat in your eyes as you pulled George’s head down to kiss his lips. You ran your tongue along his bottom lip, and he shuddered. He rolled his hips against yours, and you grasped onto his shoulders tightly. George pulled out almost completely, before he pushed into you again; fully sheathed inside you. He did this three more times before you cried out;   “Please! I can’t take it anymore!” With a growl, George thrusted hard. His hips snapped backwards and forwards at intense pace, he lifted your legs above his shoulders, allowing him to bury himself deeper within you. You gasped at the sensation of being utterly filled by him, your brow furrowed as you struggled to keep your moans quiet. He continued this pace, his cock now slick with your juices as you bit down hard on the back of your hand. He pushed back slightly and reached a hand in between your legs, parting them slightly as he began to furiously rub your clit. Your eyes rolled back into your head as overwhelming pulses of pleasure coursed through your veins, you moved your hips with his, suddenly desperate for release. George let your legs fall from his shoulders as he grasped your hips, moving you with ease along his throbbing cock. You groaned, as George pressed harder against your mound, drawing from you a string of curses as you trundled towards your orgasm.   “Fuck, I’m going to come, George.” The surprise in your voice was palpable, the swiftness in which George was going to make you come was incredible. You panted hard against his shoulder as with a grunt, his nimble fingers rubbed you to completion, his cock hitting the delicious spot inside you. As you reached the peak of your high, George followed. He groaned as your walls tightened around him and he spilled his seed deep into your quim.   “Sorry,” George breathed, “I couldn’t hold on any longer.” You smiled and kissed him, it was tender and held every ounce of love you had for him. He deepened the kiss, rolling his tongue around with yours as his hand cupped your breast. “I’m going to fuck you so hard as soon as we get to the flat, you won’t be able to walk for a week.”   “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Georgie.” You smirked, he tweaked your nipple between his fingers and brought his mouth close to your ear, his voice deathly low.   “I’m going to make you come, over and over again. You’re going to beg me to stop. Then I’ll fuck you, I’ll fuck you the way you ought to be fucked. Rough and hard because naughty girls don’t get fucked nicely.”

  Your skin flushed with heat as he nibbled at your earlobe, desire already building between your legs. You cast a look to George, who looked about two seconds away from falling asleep and giggled.   “Do you want to be the little spoon?” You asked, he didn’t answer, instead he rolled his body away from you and faced the wall. He pushed his bum out and you gave it a playful slap.   “Don’t get any ideas.” He muttered and you grinned as you wrapped your arm around his middle. He laced his fingers with yours and hummed contentedly as the room gave way to the quiet of the house.   “I’m so happy you came back.” George whispered; his voice heavy with tiredness.   “Me too. I love you.” You replied with a yawn.   “Love you too.”

  George complained the entire way back to the flat. He had insisted on carrying your bags plus gifts you had received over Christmas, including but limited to; a lovely scarf Molly had painstakingly kitted for you and a hilariously ruffled gilet for George. You couldn’t help but grin consistently as you walked ahead of him up the back stairs to the entrance of the flat, his hat had slipped over his eyes and he lost his footing. Your suitcase lurched backwards, it manged to bump comically every step before it lay still at the bottom of the stairs.   “Right!” George announced, he dropped the rest of the bags and grabbed hold of your hips. You yelped in surprise as George hoisted you over his shoulder, fireman style and proceeded up the rest of the stairs. He near enough kicked the front door open and moved swiftly through the flat and into your shared bedroom, he ignored your giggled protestations and flung you down onto the bed. He was on top of you in an instant, his knee pushed your legs apart and his mouth descended onto your throat. He sucked and nibbled at the sensitive skin and began undoing the buttons of your coat.     “Off.” He ordered as he opened your coat and tugged at the bottom of your jumper. Dutifully, you sat up and removed the offending items of clothing. His gaze was ravenous as he watched as you tucked your hair behind your ears and waited for further instructions. George’s gaze flashed down to your breasts. “Off.” He repeated. You felt your breath hitch in your throat as George removed his own coat and shirt, his hands moved to his belt and he slipped both his jeans and boxers from his body, his already hard cock sprung against his stomach as you followed suit. You threw your jeans across the room and your knickers next.

 “So beautiful,” George commented as he ran a featherlight touch across your cheek. “Such a good girl.” You melted into George’s ghost like touch and shuddered. You kept your eyes on him as he brought a hand down to his cock and rubbed along the length slowly. “Touch yourself, (Y/N) I want to see you make yourself come.” Your eyes widened with shock for a moment before a smile crept across your mouth and you brought your hands to your breasts. Was it a show he was after? Then a show he would get. You placed your fingers on each of your hardened nipples and tugged slightly, your lips parted slightly at the sensation. You heard George as he took a sharp intake of breath as he gripped the head of his cock. You trailed one hand slowly down your body and shuffled down the bed as you lay your shoulders back onto the covers. You reached your throbbing cunt and spread your legs wide for George to see, he moaned as you brought your fingers over your clit and rubbed a sweeping circle of it.   “That’s it,” George moaned, “Let me see you- oh! Good girl.” You watched as George began to pump himself faster, your name fell from his lips as you plunged two fingers between your slick folds. You matched George’s pace as you fucked yourself with your fingers, you closed your eyes and fisted the sheets with your free hand. Pleasure built within you as with each pulse of your fingers, you found your sweet spot. “Come quickly, (Y/N). I want to see how fast you can come.”

  You took your fingers out of your entrance and brought them now coated in your juices and recommenced the rubbing of your clit. You moaned as you rubbed tantalisingly quick circles on the electrified pearl between your legs. Your toes curled as you felt your orgasm build in the pit of your stomach, you moaned, and George answered it with a moan of his own. Your hips bucked from the bed as you pressed harder with each swipe of your fingers until you came, it was fantastically intense and your voice, thick with desire called out for George.   “Come here.” He demanded once you had recovered. His cock was impossibly hard and almost screamed for attention as you crawled slowly over to where he sat. George placed a hand on your head as you took him in your mouth, you placed a tender kiss to the tip and licked the little drops of precum that had gathered there. He sighed as you pushed your lips down the length of hi and relaxed your throat, allowing him a small thrust. His gentle hand became a fist in your hair as he pulled you back, almost pulling you away from his cock; but your hand reached around the base of him and began to pump him. Your tongue swirled around his tip and George’s head rolled back as you wrapped your lips around him and swallowed. You found a rhythm and George’s hand on your head helped you keep time; you could see the muscles in his thighs tense as you hummed around him.   “Fuck. That feels good. Such a good girl.”

  At George’s praise, you sucked him faster, hollowing your cheeks and your grip around his shaft tightened. George’s hips began to lift off the bed as he thrust into your mouth. There was nothing you loved more in this world than to feel this man come undone under your hand, you moaned against him and he slid further into your throat. That was enough for George, who parted with four thick spurts with a cry of pleasure. You swallowed it up and wiped your mouth, you pulled away and gently massaged your aching jaw. You watched the rise and fall of George’s chest as he recovered from his orgasm, arm slung over his eyes.   “I love you.” You whispered, you felt tears sting your eyes and you sniffed. George sat up and looked at you, his face etched with concern.   “I love you too, what’s the matter?” He asked, he pulled you close and bundled you into his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and you nuzzled your face against his neck.   “Nothing, nothing. I’m just so happy.” George chuckled and hugged you tighter, you popped a leg over his and hummed as happy tears fell from your eyes.   “Me too.”

**********

  “No, those need to go to the stockroom, Fred. I’m not having them cluttering up the flat. There’s already zero room in here as it is.” You gestured around you to the boxes of stock that stood tall in your tiny living room.   “Right, and I’m telling you there’s nowhere to put them. We need more space.” Fred sighed and placed the box full of love potions on the floor. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Angelina appeared from behind a tower of boxes, her face aghast as Fred opened his arms to her. He placed a kiss on her shoulder.   “We’re drowning in all this.” She said, you shook her head at you; a silent communication that the boys had finally lost the plot.   “What do we need to do?” George called from the doorway, he levitated three coffee’s behind him as he held a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand, a bottle of champagne in the other. You grinned as he rushed to you, he presented the flowers to you and you sniffed them gratefully. Roses, lily’s and daisies. Your favourite.   “They’re beautiful, George! Thank you!” You placed a loving kiss to his cheek and traced a lily petal delicately with your finger as George put the champagne in the fridge.   “Congratulations my love! And happy second anniversary.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you in for a hug.   “This mine?” Angelina asked, she pointed at one of the three coffees suspended behind George’s shoulder.  “Oh yeah sorry, Ange. This one’s yours love.” George smiled and dished the coffees out; Angelina gave George a warm smile of thanks as you sipped happily.   “Where’s mine?” Fred demanded; George patted his pockets sarcastically.    “You weren’t here, mate.” He shrugged, Fred huffed and turned his attention to you.   “Congratulations I suppose, (Y/N). Still think you’re wasting your time being a Healer.” Fred said, Angelina wasted no time smacking his stomach.   “You think I’m wasting my time being a Healer…as we’re about to go into war?” You said, despite the seriousness of your words, a smile tugged at your lips as you knew Fred was just sorry to lose you from the shop. You had spent the last year and a half revising your arse off to be fast-tracked through the training programme. It was the only way you could think of to give back an inch of the kindness you had received. You had received your lime green robes this morning, an immensely proud moment indeed.   “All I’m saying is, you could have been junior assistant manager. I had the badge made for you and everything.”   “Ignore him, (Y/N).” Angelina said as she rolled her eyes, “We’re all really proud of you. Well done, babe.” You handed George the flowers and tossed your arms around Angelina’s neck for a hug.   “Thank you, Ange. What did I ever do without you to help reign dear Freddie in?” You laughed and she laughed with you.   “Think there’s anyway we can back out, Georgie?” Fred whispered dramatically to George who just grinned ruefully.   “Not a chance.”   “Too fucking right. You’re stuck with us now.” Angelina replied, an arm slung round your shoulders. “We still need to work out what to do with these boxes.”   “There’s no room for them in here.” George offered, he waved his wand over your flowers and they arranged themselves beautifully in a vase.   “No,” Angelina agreed, “I think we all know this flat isn’t big enough for four people, couples or not.” You nodded and made your way back to George, he hoisted himself up onto the kitchen counter and you settled between his legs.   “What are you thinking?” Fred asked his girlfriend; Angelina shrugged and sipped her coffee.   “We were thinking,” You replied, “Turning this upstairs flat into a staff room and overflow stockroom. You’re selling so much, so obviously have to have the stock to sell. There just isn’t room for us in here anymore. Plus, I’m pretty sure the staff would love to be able to come up here and have an actual cup of tea on their breaks.”   “We think we should move.” Angelia said, “Separately.” She added softly. George’s hand stiffened around your waist. You wished that Angelina had waited a day or two before dropping the bombshell, but the pair you had spent the last month speaking of little else. You and George needed your own space, and Fred and Angelina needed theirs as much.   “You want us to move away from each other?” Fred asked incredulously, you offered him a small smile.   “Not exactly.”

**********

  The portkey dropped you in the middle of a field. You were on your lunch break and only had half an hour before you needed to be back at St. Mungo’s. George looked stressed as he straightened his tie, you could tell he was nervous. You took his clammy hand in yours and gave it a squeeze.   “You okay?”   “Yeah,” He replied in a strained voice. “It’s just a lot of money to part with.” You sighed and dragged him in the direction of Fred and Angelina who stood waving at you. You approached them with hello’s and hugs and waited.   “What time’s he meant to be coming?” Fred asked as he checked his watch, you followed suit and checked the upturned watch pinned to your robes. Only twenty minutes left.   “Any minute now.” Angelina asked. You all looked in opposite directions, scouring the grassy horizons for any sight of the man in question. What you didn’t expect, was for him to surprise you from behind.   “You can never expect a group of Gryffindor’s to be on time.” You felt a grin widen across your face as you saw Severus fold his arms across his chest.   “Excuse me, I’m one of yours.” You replied, he shook your hand rather formally but gave you a brief wink as he dropped two sets of keys into George’s hand.   “Is it all sorted?” George asked the potions master, Severus nodded.   “Yes, I watched them as they signed the paperwork this morning. All in your names now, though I don’t see why you had to have me do it. I’m very busy.”   “Because I don’t trust anybody else.” You countered, “I needed to be one-hundred-percent sure my parents wouldn’t try any funny business.”   “They were quite happy to get rid of these cottages if you ask me. They have no need for them anymore, especially given that they’ve sold the house in Rouen.” Severus said, he looked up at the old stone walls of the two cottages.   “The price of war, I suppose.” Fred quipped; Severus cocked an eyebrow but ultimately smirked in agreement. You broke away from George and the others and placed your arm through Severus’, wandering a few steps.   “Thank you again, I really appreciate that.” You whispered; your heads close together. Severus placed a hand on top of yours and patted it softly. “Are you still coming for lunch on Sunday? It’s my only day off this week.”   “Are you cooking?”   “No, George is.”   “Yes, I shall arrive at twelve.”

  You waved as Severus made off into the distance, when there was no longer any sight of him. Angelina turned to you, and then back out to the cottages. A pair of great stone cottages with an adjoining garden stood before you. That had been built hundreds of years ago by twin farmers who tended the surrounding fields. They were acquired by your parents in the sixties; and now were to make new homes for you and George, Fred and Angelina. It was fitting really that another pair of twins would live in them all those years later, making new memories.   “How long have you got before you need to be back at the hospital?” George whispered into your ear. You glanced down at your watch.   “Fifteen minutes.”   “Plenty of time.” He breathed, George grabbed your hand and dragged you laughing towards the front door of your cottage. The door slammed behind you as he placed a hungry kiss to your lips. His hands where everywhere at once, slipping your robes over your head and grunting in your ear.   “This is our house, (Y/N). I want to hear how loud you can be.”

Of course, you complied; you wanted everybody to know that you were his, forever.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: this body yet survives, ch. 3

Relationship: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Lán Qǐrén, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Jiāng Yànlí

Additional Tags: No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals

Summary: Lan Wangji and Wei Ying go to Caiyi, but have an unexpected encounter.

Notes: See end

Parts 1 & 2

Chapter 1 | 2 

AO3 link

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Wangji soaked in Wei Ying’s good cheer, how he flitted around the mountain path on the way to Caiyi to examine anything that caught his eye. He had to discourage him from capturing another rabbit for the herd in Cloud Recesses; after all, they would have to go back if he was successful, and they had not yet reached their destination.

“On the way home, then,” Wei Ying said, his grin as wide as those during his days as a student, and Wangji’s heart clenched in joy to see it.

Caiyi was bustling, the fishermen hawking the morning catch, and Wei Ying held back a little at the chaos of it, staying closer to Wangji, reminding him that he was still fragile, still easily overwhelmed. This was the first trip to town since he had truly started to heal, after all.

Wangji had a mental map of the town and the places he wished to take him, purchases he wished to make; a gaun, scented oil for his hair, spicy foods—whatever Wei Ying wanted, he would have—and the personal additions to the betrothal gifts he would present to the Jiang siblings.

As hesitant as he seemed to enter the crowd, Wei Ying was also fascinated by the fish hawking, curious about the tubs of live catch. He stopped to watch a turtle for a bit, fascinated by the markings on the top of its neck that resembled eyes. It was a colorful specimen, with a dark brown shell and distinctive markings.

“Do you want it?” Wangji asked softly. 

Wei Ying smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Where would I put it? The Cold Spring? Your uncle would kick me out.”

Wangji frowned, troubled that Wei Ying still thought, even jokingly, he would be discarded so easily, that his place was so tenuous. He had to remind himself that shufu and xiongzhang would clarify that today, that he would soon realize the Cloud Recesses was his home. 

“There is a small pond outside the jingshi,” he offered.

“‘Pets are forbidden,’ Lan Zhan. You don’t need more creatures to take care of.”

He wondered if they were speaking of the turtle anymore. 

“Not a pet,” Wangji clarified. “It is a wild thing, and could live to old age there, protected.”

As he hoped Wei Ying himself would in the jingshi with him—not as a caged creature, but as his beloved, loved as he deserved.

Wei Ying was quiet for a moment, watching the turtle, but finally nodded.

“Let’s rescue it, then,” he murmured, his voice rough. “So it won’t end up someone’s dinner tonight.”

Turtles, after all, were symbols of longevity, power, and tenacity. In some ways, they represented what Wei Ying had endured and survived. He had endured so much, had defeated the water he had been left in to die. Turtles were seen as powerful bringers of luck and serenity, both things Wei Ying could use. Perhaps this encounter, their purchase of it, was auspicious. 

He stayed close as Wangji purchased it and smiled more sincerely when he handed him a covered basket with the turtle secured inside.

“We will release it in the pond when we return home,” he told him softly, mentally adding the bookseller to his list of places to go so they could find a book on turtles. 

They wandered toward the market, Wei Ying moving carefully so as not to jostle the turtle. The bookseller was first, and they perused the shelves together, quickly finding a suitable book. 

Wangji noticed Wei Ying’s eyes lingering on a book of poetry and pulled it from the shelf, curious. It was a collection of the poems of Ruan Ji and Ji Kang, two notable sages in a time of turbulent wars, and rumored lovers. He could see the blush on Wei Ying’s face, and felt his own ears heat as he recalled that one of the two had written homoerotic poetry; he wondered if this volume contained them. 

He bought both books, slipping them in his qiankun pouch. They could read them together. 

At the stall with scented oils for hair, Wei Ying seemed lost at the number of options, and looked to Wangji for help. 

“You can try smaller amounts of different ones until you find one you like,” Wangji said softly, “but this might fit you.”

He had the vendor mix a small sample of orange and cinnamon for Wei Ying to smell and was pleased to see the scents seemed to relax him. Wangji was happy to purchase it.

Wei Ying, he knew, often let his hair go, not taking care of it. He would take charge of it personally, he decided, perhaps enlisting Jiang Yanli’s help while they were courting, when it would be a bit inappropriate for him to do so.

Wangji noticed a stall of colorful candies and stopped to buy Wei Ying tanghulu. This seller, he knew, removed the hawthorn seeds and replaced them with red bean paste before glazing them with sugar.

He took a bite when Wei Ying offered, enjoying the sweet and tart mixtures, the crunch followed by the meatiness of the hawthorn and the soft cream of the bean paste. Wei Ying happily munched on the rest on the way to the next stall. 

Before they reach it, Wei Ying froze, the mostly-eaten tanghulu falling from his fingers to the ground. Wangji followed his gaze and found Jin Zixuan at a nearby stall, along with Madam Jin—who, he recalled, was the sworn sister of Madam Yu.

Wangji could hear Wei Ying’s breath, how it had started to speed up, and recognized he was in the beginning of a panic attack. He turned to face him, moving Wei Ying so he could still see her in his peripheral vision—he already knew she was there, and could panic worse if he couldn’t see her, but he tried to encourage him to focus on him. 

“I am here,” Wangji told him. “You are not alone.”

Wei Ying managed a nod, taking deep breaths and pressing one thumb to the opposite palm, something the mind healers had taught him to help him find calm.

Jin Zixuan approached, Madam Jin hanging back. He bowed and Wangji bowed back, noting that Wei Ying did the same, shaking slightly.

“Lan-er-gongzi, Wei-gongzi, we intended to visit Cloud Recesses. I didn’t realize you would be in Caiyi.”

He sounded apologetic, and Wangji knew he could see Wei Ying struggling. 

“Wei-gongzi, my mother has come to speak with you.”

A panicked noise, so soft Wangji was sure only he heard it, escaped Wei Ying, his breath stuttering again. His knuckles were white, his hand clenched around the basket handle. 

Madam Jin was looking at Wei Ying with an expression that bordered on pity, he realized.

“I apologize for your ill treatment at the hands of my former sworn sister, Wei Wuxian,” she said bluntly, bowing low to him. “And for the discomfort my presence has brought you.”

Confusion washed over Wei Ying’s face at her words, but he also seemed to focus, coming out of his panic.

“Former?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

Madam Jin nodded.

“I could not continue being her sworn sister after what she did to you, her own ward. It was inexcusable.”

Wei Ying looked lost, almost dizzy, and Wangji placed a hand on his upper arm in case he fell.

“Over something as small as talismans to change the color of the tea,” Jin Zixuan muttered.

Wangji felt Wei Ying tremble, the memory tied up in his near-death. He had stuck talismans to the undersides of each sect leader’s teapot, and the tea had come out in the sect’s main color—Jiang Fengmian’s, violet; Nie Mingjue’s, deep green; xiongzhang’s, a pale blue; Wen Ruohan’s, crimson; Jin Guangshan’s, golden. Even minor sect leaders’ teapots had transformed the color of their tea.

The talismans had changed nothing else about the tea, neither flavor nor quality, and had been well-received by the sect leaders when Wei Ying had explained the tea was safe.

“Just an extra treat for the discussion conference,” he had said with a respectful bow and a cheeky smile.

Madam Yu had ordered him out, stalking after him, and it had been the last time anyone had seen Wei Ying until Jiang Yanli found him so close to death.

“I revealed lax security, she said,” Wei Ying murmured, his voice hollow.

He was shaking more obviously now, and Wangji moved closer as he swayed. They had never spoken of the incident, and he had no idea how Wei Ying might react.

“That’s ridiculous!” Jin Zixuan muttered, the anger in his voice surprising. “Of course you had access as head disciple.”

His comment seemed to jolt Wei Ying out of what Wangji had feared might be the beginning of a fugue, and he started at the Jin heir blankly, like he hadn’t expected a defense from him.

Wangji approved of his anger, befitting one who would be Wei Ying’s brother in law. Madam Yu’s actions had clearly led to a change in Jin Zixuan for the better. He could remember, vaguely, the young man trying to comfort Jiang Yanli as she sobbed, telling her that her brother was strong, he would be okay. Wangji had been far more focused on Wei Ying, leaving him only to help the Jiang siblings pack his belongings and expedite their departure, and only in the care of xiongzhang.

“We are bringing up bad memories,” Madam Jin realized, her voice regretful. “I actually wish to commission you for your talisman work, Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Ying swallowed hard, clearly making an effort to stay present mentally. 

“What kind of talisman, Jin-furen?”

She offered him a gentle smile.

“I’d prefer not to discuss it in the street. Let me treat you to lunch, and we can get a private room and chat. With Lan Wangji and my son present, of course.”

Wangji realized she was trying to assure Wei Ying she did not wish him ill, would not seek to harm him, and perhaps was letting him know as well.

Wei Ying gave a jerky nod, glancing at him as though for reassurance. He decided to lead the way to the restaurant he had intended to take him to for lunch, a place known for spicy fare but with dishes that suited his own palate. It happened to have private dining rooms, which Wangji had intended for them anyway, so Wei Ying would have a break from people.

The move put the Jins behind them, he realized when Wei Ying clung to his arm, but the walk was blessedly short. Madam Jin was kind enough to lead the way up the stairs, clearly recognizing Wei Ying’s distress. He was thankful that she also allowed Wei Ying to decide where in the smaller room to sit, deferring to him in a way that most people of her station would not.

Though her kindness was not unselfish—she did, after all, want something—he appreciated it nonetheless. He led Wei Ying to a seat around the table, where he could see the door, a window nearby to facilitate escape if needed, both things that might make him feel more secure.

Wangji worried Wei Ying might eat little, a behavior that manifested when he was stressed, but he could do nothing to alleviate that.

“May we speak before we eat?” Madam Jin asked after settling across from them with her son. “If you decide against taking the commission, I will still purchase lunch. It is the least I can do given your willingness to speak with me.”

Wei Ying nodded again, grasping Wangji’s hand under the table. Wangji squeezed gently, trying to reassure him.

“As you may be aware, my husband has… dallied,” she began.

Jin Zixuan’s face turned a bit sour at this, and Wangji was reminded of Wei Ying’s question to him when he asked for permission to court Jiang Yanli.

“Given… recent events, I have decided it would be prudent to find the children resulting from his indiscretions.”

Wei Ying’s gaze sharpened a bit.

“For what purpose?” he asked softly.

Wangji squeezed his hand again, knowing his thoughts; Wei Ying would not wish to create anything that could result in deaths.

Madam Jin smiled, as though the question pleased her.

“To protect them. I will not legitimize them, but I want them and their mothers, who were perhaps lied to or coerced, or whose freedom needs to be bought from brothels, to be safe and cared for. The children should have the opportunity to learn to cultivate and have a relationship with my son as their half-brother, along with their other half-siblings.”

She sighed softly. 

“All involved are innocents, and I could stay bitter as I once was and wish them ill, but after… what was done to you, I don’t wish to be that person. The world could mistake that behavior as acceptable, as there have been few consequences. I want to offer an alternative.”

Wei Ying seemed to need to take several breaths, his hand tightening on Wangji’s for a moment, before he could nod. Wangji could see a suspicious sheen to his eyes, and realized Wei Ying was overcome by Madam Jin’s desire to make right somehow, to force something positive to result from what was done to him.

“One to find, and one to also test those who step forth with claims?” Wei Ying asked after he had calmed. 

Madam Jin let out a breath, looking relieved, almost as though she had been concerned Wei Ying would not be up to the task, perhaps still too traumatized. 

Not long ago, he would have been, Wangji had to admit. But he was getting better, and he had never stopped inventing new talismans. 

“Yes, that would also be useful,” she said. “Thank you.”

“There would likely be a limit on distance,” Wei Ying told her. “But I’d have to experiment with options and prototypes.”

Madam Jin set a large bag of gold in front of him, and Wei Ying’s eyes widened.

“This is a down payment. I understand it may take time, and there is no rush. I will reimburse you for any materials needed, if that becomes an issue.”

Wei Ying looked up at her, frowning slightly.

“I will need your husband’s blood,” he said. “Unless you want me to focus on the sibling aspect, and then I could use Jin Zixuan’s.”

Wangji realized this was Wei Ying’s way of asking if this was being done secretly, without Sect Leader Jin’s knowledge.

Madam Jin actually laughed softly. 

“Oh, you are bright,” she said, her voice full of delighted praise. “My husband is still claiming innocence, and is not willing to take part in this project. My son has kindly offered to help instead.”

Wangji tried not to be concerned about the implications that this could be against Sect Leader Jin’s wishes. Wei Ying was under the protection of Gusu Lan now, and he would defend him personally if need be.

Jin Zixuan pulled out a pouch and slid it gently across the table.

“Several vials of my blood. I can provide more if needed.”

Wei Ying looked momentarily shocked at the implied level of trust—the amount of blood needed to harm someone via a curse or hex was miniscule, after all—and attempted a smile. 

“I’ll try not to waste any.”

Jin Zixuan only nodded, and Wangji took the bag to slip into his qiankun pouch. Wei Ying handed him the pouch of money without looking at him, the exchange made less simple by the fact that Wei Ying didn’t let go of his hand under the table. Though his grip wasn’t tight, Wangji refused to break it, refused to let go when he needed him.

Madam Jin slid the door open to let the servers know they were ready for tea.

Wei Ying’s gaze had gone a bit glassy, though his eyes were moving as he thought, perhaps distracted by ideas for the talisman. Wangji resolved to ensure Wei Ying ordered and ate plenty, knowing he might need prompting. He knew they would return to Cloud Recesses following this, without a replacement for Wei Ying’s broken guan, and without additional gifts for the Jiang siblings. Wei Ying would need time to rest before meeting with shufu and xiongzhang, particularly after the strain he had just endured.

They would release the turtle in front of the jingshi together, and Wangji would play the guqin for him while he rested. Then, following the meeting, wherein Wei Ying’s status would be clarified, Wangji would seek permission from his siblings to court him.

He ran his thumb across the back of Wei Ying’s hand, and was relieved when the act was returned, when the glassiness left his eyes and he looked at him with a tired-looking smile.

------------

I didn’t really expect the turtle thing, but it happened kind of organically as I was bringing Caiyi to life. Wei Ying is going to name it Tang 汤, meaning ‘soup,’ because of course he is. This particular turtle is a species native to mountainous regions of southern China, the four-eyed turtle. And now I need to do more research on turtles because of course I do.

In addition to Wei Ying’s recovery, this fic is also in part about the cultivation world’s reaction to what Yu Ziyuan did, in that there are some consequences. Hence Madam Jin dissolving their sworn sisterhood and commissioning Wei Ying. Her decision to take in and ensure Jin Guangshan’s bastards and mistresses are cared for is partially out of spite for what her former sworn sister did, but is also the result of some soul-searching on her part. This is not Madam Jin assuming that Wei Ying is Jiang Fengmian’s secret bastard son, btw.

As I’ve noted in other MDZS fics I’m writing, I like to explore how a point of change can cascade to change other things, so I am back on my bullshit. Also, I think this makes the third fic where I’ve referenced Ruan Ji and Ji Kang. I just bought a book of their translated poetry that’s supposed to be delivered next week.

[laurelleghuleh]

OCAF | Ch. 6 “Homecoming”

Warnings: read the masterlist first and check Ruth’s chart.

Songs: "Hello My Old Heart" by The Oh Hellos, "Broken Bones" by KALEO, "Streets" by Doja Cat.

LEVI'S POV

I couldn't figure out where I was.

I was surrounded by the green hills and a boundless land loomed all around me. Nevertheless, I kept walking in the meadow, without a precise goal. I thought it was a farm. There was a light breeze caressing my skin and the sun was high in the sky.

All of a sudden, I heard a voice. "Levi, my sweet Levi"

"Mom?... Mom... Is that you?"

When I saw her, she was already running towards me with her arms outstretched and her hair swaying in the air. I hugged her tightly, lifting her from the ground and I felt my body naturally responding to hers like I remembered every inch of her.

"Mom..." I whispered burring my face in her hair, placing my chin on her shoulder. For a moment a sweet feeling of peace made me feel light. I felt at home.

"My sweet little angel," she said. I believed I'd forgotten that sound, lost somewhere in my mind... But no, deep down inside of me, I knew it was her.

"Mom..." I inhaled her scent as we stayed like that, embraced. After a while she moved away a little and, staring intensely at me, she started caressing my face and hair.

Her glassy eyes looked all over my face, observing my features, my contours.

Her lips twitched as she tried to say something. I rested my head on her hands and took a breath of relief. I felt so in peace there, in her hands.

Watching her carefully, she was actually different from my memories. Her face was full, her hair strengthened, her expression quiet. She seemed in good health.

"I see you are in shape. I know you're a soldier now" she said "Look at you, all grown up, Levi..."

"Mom..." I kept babbling.

"We don't have much time, Levi. I have something to tell you...Listen to me... Don't be afraid"

"Mom, what are you talking about? I'm not afraid"

"Oh, Levi... Yes, you are... Let yourself go, fearlessly..."

"Mom?"

"Don't be afraid, Levi" As she repeated my name, the sound of her voice changed, altered, and got lower, warmer, younger. Whose voice was that?

"Don't be afraid Levi"

Her face started to blur "Mom, what's happening?" Her features faded away until I couldn't recognize her anymore. Now someone else was in front of me and that's when I saw her "Daphne? Is it you?" I asked. "Don't be afraid, Levi" she said.

A strange sensation flooded all over me. I was still overwhelmed with tranquility, still serene in those hands, even if they were Daphne's. My mother's face seemed to appear again and I was more confused than ever. I shook my head and she disappeared again, suddenly replaced by a blurred image and then definitely by Daphne's features. I attempted to touch her face, trying to stop her from switching. Their voices overlapped "Don't be afraid, Levi"

I finally managed to grab her cheek and her face stopped. Daphne was now in front of me. She was wearing a long, white and plain dress, something like a tunic.

"C'mon Levi, they're waiting for us..." she said taking my hand in hers.

I didn't protest and simply asked "Where are we, Daphne?"

"Stop it with these silly questions and follow me, Levi"

We started running across the lawn, towards what seemed to be a big farmhouse. She repeatedly turned to look at me, smiling and gesturing me to hurry up. Her smile shined brighter than the sun behind her figure. She looked happy and I was at peace.

All of a sudden, the loud noise of the military alarm violently woke me up. What was that dream? As I washed my face in the sink, I tried to rewrite my dreams and rebuild all the pieces of those blurred memories I had.

My mom. Daphne. A farm. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? I had never felt so confused and rested at the same time. After all, sleeping was not so bad.

Fuck, I am late.

I went down to the cafeteria where I found Hange and Daphne animatedly chatting.

"Morning sunshine!" shouted Hange at me. Here we go again.

"Good morning, captain" calmly said Daphne, handing me a warm cup of tea and then sliding on the table a small plate with some biscuits. A faint smile appeared on her face and I politely nodded in response.

"Did you sleep well, captain?" she then added. I knew she was referring to our last encounter. If only she knew what happened in my dreams...

"It's true, Levi, you're glowing today!" Hange stooged her.

I gave both of them a dirty look and then, burring my face in the cup, I said "Yes, thank you, I slept well". If you only knew...

While I was drinking my tea, I couldn't stop thinking that maybe what happened the night before could have been the start of something. We could have been friends, or at least not jump at each other's throats at any time. We could have tried. And yet I still couldn't figure out what that dream meant, and between one cookie and another the images buzzed in my head, to the point that I could no longer stay at the table.

As soon as I was done, I tried to leave, but my attention was caught by their conversation. Hange was trying to convince her to participate in another of her goddamned experiments with the titans. Therefore, I spoke. "Daphne serves me today," I said, grabbing her by the shoulder, urging her to stand up with me, "I'm sorry, four-eyes, next time".

"Ooooh c'mon Levi, didn't they teach you the noble art of sharing?" protested Hange.

I didn't even bother to answer her, while Daphne and I were rushing off. She turned to Hange a couple of times as if to apologize, and I pulled her out of the cafeteria by the arm.

"Thanks for the rescue, Captain" she said smiling.

What is it now? First, she calls me Levi, then captain again?

"There's no need to call me Captain when we are alone. You can call me Levi" I extended her an olive branch "But not in front of the other brats. They'd get carried away" I corrected myself.

"Ehm... Ok, thanks... I'll see what I can do about it... So, what do you need me for... Levi?"

"What?" I asked her.

I had lost track of our previous conversation as I contemplated her face asking me: "You said before you needed me today"

"Ehm...Yeah. Sure. That" I pulled myself back together "So... today we'll train with the 3D maneuver gears. Since you're already pretty skilled with that, you'll help me with the brats. And after that, you'll put them away where we usually keep them"

"Oh, great. I'm looking forward to it!" she said enthusiastically.

"I see you're in a good mood today" I told her.

"Actually, I am in a good mood..." she replied, shyly.

The training went smoothly. Except for some of them. Hopeless cases.

Daphne helped me throughout the whole session. She even showed some tricks to the other cadets. I noticed she had a peculiar way to move her blades. She rotated the blade's grip with only one or two fingers, never losing control of it. Fascinating. Rather fascinating.

When I was on my way out, I walked up to Daphne and I said, "Gather all the devices and bring them down. It'll take you a while. When you're done, meet me for lunch"

She nodded, mimicking a military salute. I almost laughed.

In the meantime, I went to do some paperwork for Erwin and after I headed down to the cafeteria. Later, Daphne joined us and we all started to eat.

At one point burst into the room Hange. She threw herself into our table, crying and breathing heavily. Daphne promptly asked her, "Hange, what's going on??"

"Sonny and Bean" she kept babbling, "Sonny and Bean... somebody killed them... somebody killed them..."

We were all shocked by that news. How was it possible? No one could have killed them without the three-dimensional maneuvering devices...

Erwin rapidly commanded everyone to not move from the cafeteria and ordered his team to patrol the castle.

I turned to Daphne, who was trying to comfort Hange, and I asked "Did you see anything odd after putting the devices back?"

She shook her head "No. I recounted them several times to be sure. They were all there. And when I came back upstairs, there was no one around the hallways. They must have taken one of them while I was already here...".

I trusted her.

"All right..." I sighed deeply "Hange, you can go to your room and calm down. Daphne, if you want, go with her. I'll join Erwin in the research...".

We had already combed half the castle and actually a couple of gears were missing, but there wasn't a shred of evidence of what happened.

Soon after I met Hange, alone.

"Weren't you with Daphne?" I asked her. "I was about to ask you the same thing... When I calmed down, she told me she'd come looking for you, to help-"

It took me a second to understand. You fucked up big time, girl.

I don't know how, but my instinct told exactly where I would have found her. I took my device with me and went quickly down to the basement.

Please tell me you didn't. Please tell me it wasn't you, I kept saying in my mind.

Once there, I found a hatch on the ground half opened and, unfortunately, I realized that I was right. You fucked up big time, Dafne. You fucked up.

I still remembered vividly that time when I rescued her down there and after a while, I heard the noise of a device, her device. There you are.

"So, you decided to get yourself killed today" I said, catching her off guard.

She was about to jump off a manhole after she supposedly had broken its sides to make it wider.

"Levi..." she said, backing away from the hole and then standing up "Levi, wait..." she continued. She looked frightened. You better be.

"You know, I must admit I fell for it, lock, stock and barrel. I believed you... I wanted to believe you. And then... And then you decided to make this huge mistake right under my nose..."

"Levi, it's not what it looks like..." she began to say.

"So tell what it looks like, Daphne? Tell me!" I yelled at her, almost growling.

"I did not kill Hange's titans! I swear! I would never do that to her, you have to believe me..." she shouted, close to tears.

"Really? And you think I'll buy it now?"

"Levi, I beg you. I'm telling the truth. I just took advantage of the situation to run away, but it wasn't me! I'm just trying to get back to the Underground... I just want to see my sister again... just for a second...I beg you Levi..." she cried.

Were you really about to leave? Like this?

"While everyone's looking for the responsible, looking for who stole the device and killed the titans, you thought it was a clever choice to run away. To steal a gear to escape down here? Have you lost your mind?" I ranted as I approached her, through the filth of the slums.

"I didn't steal anything! This device is mine!" she yelled at me "I earned it! I didn't steal it from anyone!" she kept shouting.

"This device? The device you earned by putting out to half the Underground? You mean that device?"

I didn't mean it that way, but I was too angry with her to think straight.

She suddenly attacked me, driven by an uncontrollable rage. She got bloodshot eyes and she was grinding her teeth, in a rage. Not making a special effort, I only parried her punches.

Once she noticed I didn't resist, she eyed me, confused by my reaction. Therefore, she stepped backward and fell down the hole, never looking away from me. And I didn't stop her.

I felt again that strong frustration growing inside of me. I don't know what to do. I never know how to act around her. What should I do now?

I sat there for a while, contemplating the underground from the hole. Its pungent smell came up to my nostrils and brought back to me some memories I thought lost.

You don't even understand what you've just done to me, Daphne. I can't sit here and do nothing. I have to go find her. Now. Before she gets in trouble.

Fortunately, I hadn't lost sight of her and following her, I made my way over the roofs of the capital, thanks to the gear.

She went down the street, covering herself with the cape she was already wearing before. I guess she doesn't want to catch anybody's attention.

So as soon as I touched the ground, I walked around to steal a cape and hide my device and uniform. Luckily, I found a small market stall where, after threatening the owner, I got a pretty big one.

At one point I saw her entering a small road on the left, so I hurried to reach her before I lost sight of her. Where is she now?

Around the corner, I felt a knife at my throat. "Where do you think you're going?" That was her.

DAPHNE'S POV

"Where do you think you're going?" I threatened him pointing a knife on his throat.

As usual, Levi remained calm, even if I had definitely caught him off guard.

"I'm coming with you," he said.

"Forget it" I told him and then got back on my track "You're just gonna get in my way, so get the hell out of here."

"Say whatever you want. I'll follow you anyway" he stated.

I turned around and said "Look, Levi, everybody around here knows who I am, so..."

"Then, we will keep a low profile..." he interrupted me, looking at me with a serious expression painted on his face.

"What do you think you're doing, uh? First, you called me a whore and then-"

"I never said that" he interrupted me.

"Tomayto tomahto" I mumbled as I started to walk away, leaving him back.

He followed me, so I turned back again "Stop following me"

"No" he only said. I rolled my eyes and walked away again. "Then hurry the fuck up" I commanded.

He didn't complain much, but after a few steps, he told me "But I'm warning you, as soon as we're done here, I'll bring you back up to the castle and this is not up for discussion".

"Whatever..." I replied.

However, we were already close to the brothel. Therefore, I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up a ladder, from which we would have had a better view of the building. We put ourselves on the last step. It was rather small for both of us to sit straight and he was literally breathing down my neck. But neither of us seemed to mind it.

"See? Over there. That big mansion. My sisters are there" I said.

"Why such a big place? How many of you are there?" he asked.

"Do you mean my sisters? When I was still there, there were eight of us: me, Abigail, Nina, Ruth, Saejin, Tabitha, Eve and Chadia. Chadia was very old and had a few affectionate clients. She died the year before I left. There are Miss Martha and the Master. His minions, about a dozen, the stableman and many other patrons. On the ground floor, there are two betting rooms. I can't tell you how many people usually hang out there, but not a few, especially at night. Looking at it now, I'd say there are even more than I remember..."

He nodded, analyzing the building "Yes, I already see a dozen only through the windows, four at the entrance, two in front of the gate...What were you thinking, uh? Let's ring the bell and say hello to everyone, perhaps?"

I twisted around to confront him. How dare you...

Turning my face, I realized how close we were. Our eyes locked under the hoods and for a moment I forgot what I wanted to say. I swallowed as I couldn't take my eyes off his. I hate the way he makes me feel.

"So?" he asked me, bringing me back down to earth.

"There is a passage..." I coughed " There's a passage I know that's gonna take us to the back of the brothel. If we're lucky, we might not find a lot of surveillance and be able to get upstairs".

He nodded and once back on the road we descended into a small and old aqueduct and finally we arrived right where I wanted. We hid behind a fence covered with weeds to inspect the building.

"Great. It's packed with these pricks. Lucky us" he commented sarcastically.

"Shut up or we'll get caught" I whispered at him.

"Look, I see someone coming outside..." he told me turning my chin in the direction of the building. At the back door appeared two men carrying a body, a dead body, and throwing it to the ground, next to the trash.

I froze up. That's not possible, I thought. Ruth.

They had thrown that body in the trash, as if it were garbage.

I would have recognized her among a thousand. It was Ruth. My poor little Ruth.

Her ebony skin was covered with pustules and various wounds, her little face was swollen. But I knew it was her. Her figure, her clothes, her hairstyle. It was her. Ruth.

For a moment I felt myself fainting. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding, crushing against my ribcage. "Ruth... Ruth..." I babbled.

Then suddenly, blinded by the pain, I shouted her name, crying desperately.

Apparently, someone heard me and those two men turned in our direction. I suddenly felt Levi picking me up and taking me away from the fence.

"No, Ruth... How dare they... How... Ruth..." I kept talking incoherently, screaming and wriggling in Levi's arms.

I couldn't even properly walk, Levi had to carry me away. I was panting and shaking. I couldn't see straight. The images of Ruth's body thrown out of the door repeated in my mind nonstop. I was only able to whisper her name or "Levi, Levi..." as he continued to carry me away from there.

"I'm not sure but I think they are following us now... Please, Daphne, move" he said still holding me tight under his arm.

"I-I can't..." I managed to stutter. I felt like everything around me was spinning and I couldn't regain my composure. Luckily, Levi was supporting me all the way.

"Ok. Now, they are definitely following us and I have bad news for you. They have the 3d maneuver gear too. We can't afford to pick a fight here. We need to change our route and find a quiet place to use our devices without being seen... C'mon Daphne, you can do it" Levi said.

I was still shaking as Levi suddenly turned right. He had practically lifted my whole body from the ground and as soon as we got there, he gently put me back down.

"C'mon I think we made it..." he whispered.

But at some point, a pair of men came out from an alley and we had to rush and change our route again. We ran away from them, hiding between the flock of people and we made it again in another deserted lane.

"Play along, I think I have a plan" announced Levi.

After getting into another street, Levi suddenly pushed me against the wall. He put his forearm over my head, hooding my figure under his coat. I still couldn't stop panting.

"Levi... Levi" I continued babbling.

"Shh, be quiet, they are coming" he whispered getting closer to me.

"Levi... Ruth is dead, t-that was her body... and she-" I stuttered, still shaking.

"I know, but please Daphne, calm down, calm down..." he said placing his forehead on mine "Shh... they are coming" he kept saying.

"Levi... Levi...I-I...Ruth..." I stuttered.

I was trying to pull myself back together, but everything seemed to blur. I couldn't slow down my breath and all I could feel was a deep pain in my chest. I put a hand on my heart and I whispered again "Levi..."

"Please, shh..." he hushed me again.

I felt one of his hands hooking mine on my chest, he looked into my eyes intensely and all of a sudden, his lips found mine.

My heart was pounding so fast in my chest I could only focus on how soft he felt against my mouth. He was gently pressing his lips on mine, but as soon as I squeezed harder his hand, he inhaled soundly and let a warm breath out of his nostrils. He immediately pulled me in and now we were glued to one another.

It felt so addictive I couldn't allow that moment to end.

As soon as I felt him slightly moving away, with my free hand I grabbed his coat and crushed my lips against his, again and again. He didn't protest and rather lowered his forearm, sliding his hand under my hood, running his fingers through my hair. I felt my knees getting weaker as he parted his lips allowing my tongue to slip inside his mouth.

Nothing else existed, all my senses were absorbed by how intoxicating he tasted.

My hands found his chest and then his neck, so I pushed him even closer to me. I was kissing him like my life depended on it.

A suffocated moan slipped out of my mouth as I felt again his hot breath and he almost lost it. I suddenly became aware of how aggressively he was responding. It felt like he wanted it so badly. As much as I wanted it too. So, I let myself go, completely, and the air got thicker. I felt my cheeks flushing, I was out of breath. None of us dared to break off that kiss. When his hands found my waist, I felt lightheaded. His touch was so gentle while his lips were hungry, possessive, consuming.

All of a sudden, he stopped and pressed his forehead on mine. We eyed each other, both out of breath. Our lips were swollen and our cheeks red. I didn't know what to do or say.

Levi swallowed noisily and then whispered, still pressed against me "I think they're gone. We have to head back now...".

[yumenosakiacademy]

Cookie Run Ovenbreak Affection Lines Masterpost!

I decided to compile the cookies’ affection lines! Or, well, as many as i could. This list is missing all lines from Pomegranate, Cheesecake, Mint Choco, and Space Doughnut due to me not having them; almost all gift lines; and the chat lines from multiple cookies due to not having  the proper friends statuses yet, but I’ll update this w the lines as i gain more affection points!

(if you have any of lines I’m missing, feel free to let me kno what they r so I can add em to this masterpost! thank you! ^^)

[Google docs version of this here!! Easier to read this on there, imo!!]

Rockstar

Hi!

He-ey! Wanna rock?

You want an autograph? Or a selfie?

[thumbs up]

Grateful from the bottom of my big heart!

Aw yeah!

[chat]

I wanna try writing my music with silver ink!

This song’s for all the cookies who got cavities from too much Black Sugar!

I’m the icon of rock music!

I will rock forever!

Blackberry

Hi!

May I assist you with anything?

Greetings. I suggest we get started immediately.

[thumbs up]

I see. Thank you.

I do not deserve such praise.

[chat]

Vanished again? Not surprised.

A melted black sugar crystal can become quite a nuisance.

I can handle it myself. Do not worry.

I’ve heard of crystals as pure as stars in the night sky.

White Choco

Hi!

Right on time!

Every second counts! Shall we begin training?

[thumbs up]

Ha, thanks to my regimen.

Thank you, mon ami!

[chat]

Victory is decided in a single moment! En garde!

My handkerchief is gone! How many is that now?

Glass breaks so easily.

A perfectly wrapped gift is always welcome.

Dark Choco Cookie

Hi!

Darkness... approaches...

Don’t come... any closer...

[thumbs up]

What is the meaning of this...

You... are quite special...

[chat]

I have no need... for grass...

You too... are afraid of me...

I used to have... a dream...

I’ve... always regretted... my past...

Lemon

Hi!

Yeah, hello.

You’re the type who likes to say hello, huh.

[thumbs up]

Sure, I guess.

Really? Wouldn’t know.

[chat]

Playing with a lemon cube is calming.

I’ve been listening to EDM lately.

Breaking out is nothing with electricity on your side.

I don’t know what’ll happen without a lemon cube.

Angel

Hi!

I’ve been waiting for you...

Pleased to meet you...

[thumbs up]

Such a kind person...

These are the kindest words I’ve heard...

[chat]

I like to give blessings... Bless you!

Will I ever learn to fly...?

I wish everyone was always happy...

I don’t like things that can be used as weapons...

Ninja

Hi!

Yes..?

Tss..!

[thumbs up]

Thank you. But my skills are far from perfect.

I deserve no compliments yet!

[chat]

The wind of change is coming...

Remember: every great deed begins with discipline!

I do like things that remind me of the ocean...

I must resist the temptations of treasures...

Pirate

Hi!

Huh? Got a treasure?

What? found a treasure?

[thumbs up]

Give treasures, not words! Kha-ha!

Okay, okay. Now where do ye hide the treasures?

[chat]

Pirates never die!

I wish I could just turn things into treasures! Kha-ha!

Pirates need no certificates! Kha-ha!

I am the terror of the sea!

Chili Pepper

Hi!

Guess how high my bounty is?!

Watch your pockets!

[thumbs up]

Doesn’t mean I’m not going to steal from you!

Are you trying to get on my good side?

[chat]

I’m here! Beg for mercy!

If you want something, then take it!

I want a hot and flashy pouch!

Hand over your treasures! Not that shiny sugar stuff!

Adventurer

Hi!

A new day, a new adventure!

Onwards to new lands!

[thumbs up]

No one can stop my treasure hunt!

Hm, seems like my adventures weren’t dangerous enough...!

[chat]

I’m looking for a legendary key to a legendary door!

Glass bottles are too fragile to take on adventures!

Let’s go treasure hunting!

Shh! This meeting is just between us!

Whipped Cream

Hi!

Ballet is truly the most elegant of dances.

The world must become happy!

[thumbs up]

Graceful bow of thanks!

Humble bow of thanks!

[chat]

I want to dance in a serene forest!

I hope everyone becomes happy after watching me dance...

I desire a crystal as green as the forest...

I’ve never been to the sea... It’s rather frightening.

Cherry Blossom

Hi!

Come on! It’s perfect weather for a picnic!

Hi there! Do you like cherry blossoms?

[thumbs up]

Thank you! Another sandwich?

Thanks! Another cup of tea?

[chat]

I’d like to fly with the wind!

Such a lovely, soft breeze.

What do I need for a picnic? Crumpled paper just won’t do!

I like sugar crystals that go well with the spring breeze!

Vampire

Hi!

Do I know you?

Ah... You! Hello?

[thumbs up]

Thanks, but I’m not sharing my juice!

Yes, yes, just drink already!

[chat]

Treasures? Meh! I’ve got too many of them...

Everyone’s always running, but no one knows why!

I’d like to color my juice crimson... Can you help?

Let’s have a glass of grape juice!

Hero

Hi!

Hello there! Wanna join our Breakout campaign?

Hi! Oh, please don’t mind the machine oil!

[thumbs up]

You’re a really good friend!

Really? Thanks!

[chat]

What do you mean you know who I am?

I’m looking for a nice hammer these days...

There’s a hero that helps cookies! Neat, huh?

The present is more important than old legends!

Dr. Wasabi

Hi!

Would you like to volunteer for a special experiment? He-he-he!

I’m busy experimenting! Ha-ha!

[thumbs up]

I was always great! Ha-ha!

You didn’t know that? He-he-he!

[chat]

Want some special Wasabi Syrup? He-he-he!

I’ve memorized everything, so no need! Ha-ha!

This experiment needs a winding key..!

I’m tellin’ ya! My research will turn the world upside down!

Princess 

Hi!

Ready for an adventure?

A nice day for a little walk!

[thumbs up]

Ah, it’s impossible to get tired of compliments!

You are pretty cute yourself!

[chat]

Will you ever take me to the land’s end?

I’ve got so many Violet Sugar Crystals recently!

Legends say there’s a gold key that opens a secret door...

Having fun everyday, that’s the princess’s way!

Devil

Hi!

Lookie-lookie... Who’s so polite here?

What do you need?

[thumbs up]

Blergh! I hate compliments...

What... You talking to me?

[chat]

I hate blessings!

He-he! Seen a cookie more terrifying than me?

Is that a ghost behind you? IT WAS A JOKE! Mua-ha-ha-ha!

Bring me something NOT FROM THIS GALAXY! Ha-ha!

Alchemist

Hi!

Don’t you see I’m busy? Sit there and don’t touch anything!

Yes, yes, could you pass me that ampoule?

[thumbs up]

Fair enough!

Yes, I know, thank you very much!

[chat]

I’ve learned all my textbooks by heart!

My laboratory is filled with useless crumpled paper...

What if I mix this... and that?

Oh, I’d love to examine an ancient relic!

Mustard

Hi!

Do you think all cookies have to be sweet?

Got something to say?

[thumbs up]

Ugh...Thanks, I guess.

Don’t judge me!

[chat]

Society’s expectations of treasures is pointless!

Copper ink might go well with mustard spray...

No one can keep me down!

All cookies deserve to be happy!

Knight

Hi!

Great day for a tournament!

Knight Cookie, at your service!

[thumbs up]

You are too kind!

Oh... Really?!

[chat]

The Princess would love something pink...

There is a Cookie I’d protect with my life!

I take no interest in old Cookie Chests...

Know any villains I must defeat?

Muscle

Hi!

I feel mighty today!

My muscles are glad to see you!

[thumbs up]

Guess I won’t smash you after all.

One... Two... Wha?

[chat]

Wanna see my muscles?

Plants won’t make your muscles grow!

Need something heavy to work on my legs!

Strength and muscles is all a Cookie needs!

Cheerleader

Hi!

Today is your day!

Go-o-o-o.... COOKIES!

[thumbs up]

You’re the best teamplayer!

That’s what I call a positive charge!

[chat]

The lighter the cheerleading equipment, the better!

Need some energy? Cheerleader Cookie is to the rescue!

You can do it! Go, go, go!

I could really use some Blessing Powder...

Red Bean

Hi!

Want a ride on my sled?

I never get cold!

[thumbs up]

Penguins love compliments, too!

Fish Treat Jellies are great, and so are compliments!

[chat]

I like surprises!

Swoosh, swoosh! Sledding is great!

Snowy days need to have snowball fights!

Pink isn’t really my color.

Zombie

Hi!

Urghhh...

Huh?

[thumbs up]

Give... Jelly...?

Huh...

[chat]

Ancient... Old...

Fresh Jellies... Want...

Ink... Hate... Blergh!

Hungry... Always...

Soda

Hi!

Hey! Wanna go surfing?

The waves are calling!

[thumbs up]

Awesome! Let’s hit the waves!

Thanks! Surf’s up!

[chat]

I’m kinda afraid of open flames...

Ever felt the thrill of surfing?

I like Sugar Crystals that remind me of the sea!

Yeah! Perfect weather for surfing!

Gingerbrave

Hi!

Hi, friend! Up for some fun?

Hello there!

[thumbs up]

Oh, you shouldn’t have... But thanks, friend!

You’re the best! Thank you!

[chat]

I can escape without any certificates, uh-huh!

Why does everyone keep giving me these weird looks...?

I can escape from here! You’ll help me, won’t you?

My favorite sugar crystals contain the power of earth!

Gingerbright

Hi!

Good luck today!

I think you’re gonna have a great day today!

[thumbs up]

Ah, I’m so happy I’m gonna dance!

Oh! you made my day!

[chat]

What’s my favorite food? Sweet and cute Jellies!

I don’t really like old things....

All cookie friends are so nice! Running together is the best thing ever!

Shiny yellow crystals are my favorite!

Skater

Hi!

H! That’s “Hi” if you say it fast!

Hey! Let’s ride!

[thumbs up]

Yo, that’s cool!

Hey, I’m like really touched!

[chat]

Life is speed, speed is life!

I wanna get a real, official certificate for something...

Wanna learn how to ride the board?

Ancient things? No thank you!

Strawberry

Hi!

Um... Hi?

ARGH! You scared me.

[thumbs up]

You want become friends...? With me? [the typo is in-game]

Um... I mean... Ahem.

[chat]

My hobby? I like playing video games. Alone...

Am i blushing again?

I hate heavy things...

My favorite sugar crystals? Well, I like spring breeze, so...

Gumball

Hi!

Want me to make a masterpiece?

Gumball cannon coming through!

[thumbs up]

You understand my art?! You’re a genius!

Ho! You’ve got quite an eye!

[chat]

I prefer colorful and flashy over black.

I’ll color everything!

I hate boredom!

Bubblegum and silver paper go hand-in-hand!

Carol

Hi!

Let’s sing for peace together!

Hello! What kind of music do you enjoy?

[thumbs up]

Your compliments give me the strength to continue my work!

I’m glad that you like my singing..!

[chat]

Shall I sing a song for you?

I’m not really fond of crimson-colored things...

A good song can help you find inner peace!

I’m looking for a sugar crystal full of positive energy…

Grapefruit

Hi!

Amazed by my speed?

Skates are the best!

[thumbs up]

Ha-ha! You like skating, too?

Hm... I guess I can hang out for a bit.

[chat]

Fastest skater around!

I don’t like old stuff!

Why does everyone like ball games? Hmph!

Grapefruit: If only everyone knew how fast I skate!

[gift]

I like gifts! 

Cherry

Hi!

Let’s play together! We’ll have so much fun!

Hello! Like cherries? Oh you better do..!

[thumbs up]

Aww! My heart’s gonna explode!

Thanks! Want a bomb?

[chat]

Hold this for a sec! It should be fine..!

Wanna blow up a bomb together?

Using Blessing Powder in bombs is a no no!

I wanna make a time bomb… but I need a winding key!

Pilot

Hi!

Want to hop on my plane?

Ah, a friendly face!

[thumbs up]

Hoho! Thanks!

Cheers! To You!

[chat]

Nothing like a butterscotch on a plane!

What am I supposed to do with a bent key?

I will always chase my dream!

I used to write letters on bronzed paper.

Pistachio

Hi!

No one can stop me!

Did you come to help me save the world?

[thumbs up]

Even your sweet words can’t shake my will!

I take it you’re being sincere...

[chat]

What is the thing most dearest to you?

I don’t have time for mysteries..!

I’d appreciate a trusty silver weapon..!

May the light guide my path!

Skating Queen

Hi!

I’m pretty busy today, but hello!

Come to watch me practice?

[thumbs up]

Frankly, I get a lot of compliments. But yours are special..!

Thank you for cheering me up!

[chat]

Well... I’m a bit afraid of old Cookie Chests...

My next performance will surprise you!

Keep your body in good condition!

I like things that remind me of cold winter nights...

[FROM HERE ONWARDS IS THE COOKIES THAT R MISSIN SOME LINES]

Matcha

Hi!

Hehehe...

Hoohoo...

[thumbs up]

??... Pff...

???... Teehee...

[chat]

Hoo... Hate toys...

Hoohoo... No one will know...

Hehe... Curious...

[missing line 4]

[gift]

Hehe...

Yoga

Hi!

Healthy Cookie, healthy mind!

Namaste.

[thumbs up]

Ah... such peace.

Many thanks!

[chat]

Best to put aside all heavy equipment before meditating!

Let us meditate together. Om shanti shanti. Om...

Empty your mind.

[missing line 4]

Avocado

Hi!

Why aren’t grapes ever lonely? ‘Cuz they grow in bunches! Haha!

What’s the loudest pet you can get? A trumPET!

[thumbs up]

Haha! thanks! Need a weapon?

Hahaha! I’ll tell you my secret for making jokes!

[chat]

It’s too hot to grow anything here! Haha!

How does a cow laugh? Moo-ha-ha-ha! LOL!

What tree grows chickens? A poulTREE! Haha!

[missing line 4]

Fire Spirit

Hi!

My flames are eternal!

Wanna see what real flames look like?

[thumbs up]

Ahaha! Let’s burn it up!

Are my flames that hot? Haha!

[chat]

Sugar crystals of the forest just burn up in my presence.

My flames cannot be stopped!

They say true love is like an eternal flame...

[missing line 4]

Peppermint

Hi!

I hear the waves.

Will you walk along the beach with me?

[thumbs up]

Thank you. You’re a good friend.

Peppermint Whale wants to be friends with you, too.

[chat]

Close your eyes and listen to the sea.

The oceans are sad to have sad legends...

A hammer? What do I do with it...

[missing line 4]

Moonlight

Hi!

I’ve seen you in my dreams.

So you are the one who has awakened me.

[thumbs up]

I will remember this day.

I feel like I am dreaming.

[chat]

Let go of your worries with the flow of dreams.

Paint a lovely picture from the stars in your dreams.

A treasure is always worth something. What is your treasure?

[missing line 4]

Sparkling

Hi!

Here again I see.

What can I get for you today?

[thumbs up]

This special order’s just for you!

Haha, there’s still more!

[chat]

Savor it, taste the aroma!

Can’t make juice with a hammer...

A new drink... just for you!

[missing line 4]

Moon Rabbit

Hi!

Hallo!

Do you wike wice cakes? Wanna twy some?

[thumbs up]

Thanks! Wanna wice cake?

I wanna gib you some full moon wice cakes!

[chat]

Ew... wice cakes fwom an old box!

I wanna full moon wice cake af big af the moon!

Gimme moa yummy wice cakes!

[missing line 4]

Orange

Hi!

Hi! What a fresh day!

Clear skies! Perfect for some tennis!

[thumbs up]

That was refreshing!

I’m all charged up!

[chat]

Zesty... SMASH!

Nothing is as invigorating as tennis!

Crumpled paper? For what?

[missing line 4]

Fairy

Hi!

May the sun shine upon you!

May the winds blow your way!

[thumbs up]

Your heart is as pure as spring water..!

You’re so kind..!

[chat]

I like peace and calm...

Paper is made from trees! How horrible!

Green fields, whispers of leaves... That’s what I like..!

[missing line 4]

Kiwi Biker

Hi!

I’m a lone wolf...

I have the need to RIDE!

[thumbs up]

Hm... Guess I am a bit sentimental.

Haha, you need a ride?

[chat]

If I can ride there, I’m going!

Crumpled paper? What gives?

Wind in the face and endless roads made me who I am.

[missing line 4]

Lime

Hi!

Wanna play ball?

Perfect weather for the beach!

[thumbs up]

I’ve heard that before!

I’m used to such compliments!

[chat]

Hey, I’m talking to you!

I don’t like annoyances!

[missing lines 3-4]

Pink Choco

Hi!

Do you wish to fall in love?

Love conquers all!

[thumbs up]

Your words give me the power to continue on my mission!

It’s nice to know someone appreciates your work!

[chat]

Solving cubes is not really my strong side...

It’s important to love yourself too!

[missing lines 3-4]

DJ

Hi!

Ready to party?

Hey, let’s party!

[thumbs up]

Let’s crank up the tempo!!

All right!! Time for an encore!

[chat]

Hope no one’s burned out yet!

Watch out for my rig!

[missing lines 3-4]

Salt

Hi!

Don’t underestimate the ocean.

Need to head out to open sea once more.

[thumbs up]

I’m no ordinary old Cookie!

Patience is key...

[chat]

Another storm has passed...

My boat can’t handle this weight...

[missing lines 3-4]

Ice Candy

Hi!

With you, losing is next to impossible!

Hey! You’re here to train!

[thumbs up]

Hahaha! I’m going to train harder!

If you get checked, I’ll check them back!

[chat]

An ancient chest? Hm... Let’s get to training!

With teamwork, victory is assured!

[missing lines 3+4]

Cocoa

Hi!

Perfect day for a cup of cocoa.

How about a cup of cocoa?

[thumbs up]

Words as sweet as cocoa!

I feel as warm as cocoa!

[chat]

I’d like to wind down by taking a dip in hot cocoa!

I like cocoa better than ink.

[missing lines 3 and 4]

Kumiho

Hi!

Hi, sweetie!

Would you like me to guess your name?

[thumbs up]

Ah, have you already fallen for my charm..?

Ah, you try so hard to learn my secrets..!

[chat]

Who do we have here..?

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Wind Archer

Hi!

The forest’s strength will purify all life...

I must never forget my mission...

[thumbs up]

It is my duty to protect this place...

My mission is still incomplete...

[chat]

The forces of Darkness cannot withstand the arrows of life...

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Herb

Hi!

You’re as dazzling as the sun!

Hello there. I grew these herbs.

[thumbs up]

You’re an amazing friend!

Compliments always warm the heart!

[chat]

I like to listen to the rain.

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Muay Thai / Red Pepper

Hi!

I’m ready for a new challenge!

All right! Let’s begin!

[thumbs up]

If I fall down, I jump right back up!

Thanks! Don’t give up!

[chat]

Never miss a day of training!

Treasures are a distraction!

[missing lines 3 and 4]

Pancake

Hi!

Is that Acorn Jelly for me?

Give me an Acorn Jelly!

[thumbs up]

Am i cute? Am i cute?!

Wink wink! Hehehe!

[chat]

Let’s play! Yeah! XD

But… but… I don’t like studying.

[missing lines 3 and 4]

Snow Sugar

Hi!

Is it winter yet..?

Let’s have a snow fight!

[thumbs up]

You seem like such a good friend!

No one’s ever told me this before!

[chat]

I like it when the white snow is falling!

Snow King said that old chests might be dangerous...

[missing lines 3 and 4] 

Millennial Tree

Hi!

Welcome. I’ve prepared a spot for you.

Fate has brought another new meeting.

[thumbs up]

The Forest welcomes you.

Thank you. such kindness.

[chat]

The Darkness will soon be purified.

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

[gift]

I humbly accept this gift!

Dark Enchantress

Hi!

The eternal night beckons.

You are able to see the Darkness...

[thumbs up]

Praise!

All will kneel before me!

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Sea Fairy

Hi!

I shall not freeze anymore.

This must be fate.

[thumbs up]

You have such a warm heart.

Thank you...

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Cream Puff

Hi!

I’m practicing magic every day!

I will become a great wizard someday!

[thumbs up]

Thanks! I am giving it my best!

I will make it this time!

[chat]

Oh no… What went wrong?

[missing lines 2, 3, 4]

Popcorn

Hi!

Quick! The movie’s about to start!

This should be enough popcorn, right?

[thumbs up]

A true five-star compliment!

A compliment as sweet as caramel popcorn!

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Wizard

Hi!

Can’t you see I’m busy?

Can it wait? I’m working on a new spell!

[thumbs up]

Finally, someone recognized my achievements!

Hm! I like what you’re saying!

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Werewolf

Hi!

Please, don’t come any closer...

Get away...

[thumbs up]

My scar aches...

Don’t expect much from me...

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Squid Ink

Hi!

Who... you?

Always... lonely...

[thumbs up]

Don’t... know...

I know... nothing...

[chat]

[missing ALL lines] 

Macaron

Hi!

Repeat after me! One, two! One, two!

Ready to march? One, two! One, two!

[thumbs up]

Thanks for cheering!

Let’s start our parade!

[chat]

Light steps! Bright smiles!

[missing lines 2, 3, and 4]

Tiger Lily

Hi!

Gyaa!

Rarr..!

[thumbs up]

Grr... grr...

[missing 2nd line]

[chat]

[missing ALL lines]

[ilovethetalkingclock]

The Red Reaper

STORY DESCRIPTION: A grim reaper goes on a rather interesting adventure that changes her unlife in this alternate take on different fairy tales.

FULL STORY BELOW:

It was a late afternoon in the forests. The sky was pink, and ready to go deep blue in a rather short time. In the forests, a grim reaper was making her way through. Her cloak was a deep ruby red, matching the pupil-like lights in her eye sockets. Her hair was made of black shadow and was flowing smoothly, like the ocean on the calmest days. She held her scythe of silver in one hand, and a bag of food and supplies in the other, as while grim reapers couldn’t die from starvation, they could still get hungry. The Red Reaper, as she was called, was on her way to reap the soul of a woman whose time was near up, like usually. Little did she know that this day could change her unlife.

The Red Reaper smiled as she looked at a nearby stream, walking by its side. While she was a worker of death, she got along with wildlife and nature quite well, like most grim reapers did. After all, death was a natural thing. Butterflies welcomely fluttered by her before going on her way, making her laugh a little. The reaper then noticed a bridge going across the stream. Realizing it was the next path to her destination, she decided to go across it. But as she took her first step onto the bridge, she noticed a rather large creature coming from under and climbing on.

It looked vaguely reptilian, mostly resembling an alligator, with greyish green scales. It had a yellow and green mane that was musty and swampy, which also covered the creature’s eyes and ran down its back right to its tail, while spikes protruded. Its posture, while human like, was also hunched over. The claws on both its hands and feet were black and sharp. The teeth on its open and hungry snout were sharp and yellow. Apparently, what lived under the bridge was that of a troll.

“Hey now, I don’t mean any trouble.”

The Reaper’s stern statement fell deaf on the troll’s non-existent ears, in which it just snarled back. Loudly. However, the Red Reaper remained unmoved. She weld her scythe, pointing right at the troll, then told it rather coldly.

“You seem to be near the end of a troll’s lifespan. I should know because I’m a grim reaper.”

The troll didn’t say anything. It just closed its mouth and simply climbed down the bridge, going back under. The Reaper smiled as she crossed through. She loved doing that. As she got back on track, the Reaper noticed a white wolf passing by. The wolf then looked at the Reaper, her staring back.

“Do not mind me, just on my way to claim a well-aged soul.”

The Reaper swore she saw the wolf raise its head a little before it continued on its way. She shrugged it off and continued on hers. It was now completely dark, and the Red Reaper was still in the forest. It was calm and serene. Well, it was until the Reaper noticed a young woman with messy blond hair, dressed in gold jewelry on her neck and wrists, looking and shuffling in what looked like a stolen handbag right next to what seemed to be a swan-girl, presumably the actual owner of the bag in a fetal position and covered in slight bruises. Red went over to the robber and aimed her scythe at her, the blonde’s eyes going wide as the blade was right near her face.

“And what exactly is going on here?!”

“Whoa, hey! We don’t need to get so fired up! I was just lookin’ in my bag, ya know! This is my bag!”

“Oh really, then why’s that woman bruised and on the ground?”

“Okay, ya got me. Here’s your dumb items back, I’m still taking the purse though, it’s just right for me!”

“Come back here!” the Reaper screamed in fury, about to charge at the fleeing thief.

“Just let her go, I don’t really deserve anything to hold my stuff anyway…” The bruised swan murmured, getting up and taking her supplies with just her hands. “Don’t say that! If you don’t mind me asking, why exactly are you saying cruel things about yourself?” the Reaper asked, tending to the bird-woman’s wounds.

The swan sighed, “I’ve been living a hard life. I was adopted and raised in the city of ducks, my classmates and even some of my teachers teasing me and berating me not only because I barely looked like the rest of my adoptive family, but also because of my inability to comprehend the city environment, saying I was the ‘ugly one’. Even my siblings would sometimes give me crap. The only one who actually gave me comfort was my mother. When my 18th birthday passed, recently, I decided to move into a calmer area, where there aren’t much people. However, obviously the way there hasn’t been kind to me… I probably shouldn’t even have this stuff… what if they’re right? What if I am the ugly one, and will forever be that?”

The swan was silently in tears at that point, the Reaper’s heart sinking. Looking in her bag, she found a spare cloth bag. It was in case her other one got too full, but she decided to give it to the girl, whose eyes lit up.

“You are not ugly. Real beauty should depend on kindness, redemption, and other nice stuff. Those people who are mean to you? They’re the real ugly ones. So here, put your stuff in this, and take the thing with you. And also? Here’s something else.”

At that moment, the Reaper also handed the swan a map. Specifically, one that had a way to the calmer areas. The Red Reaper was using it to go on her way to her destination, but she was generous enough to give the girl her map as well. Tears of joy went down the girl’s eyes as she gently took the map and bag.

“Thank you… so much!”

The girl gave the Reaper a warm hug before going off. The Reaper smiled as the swan went on her way, a single tear coming out of her socket.

“It was my pleasure…”

The Red Reaper continued on her way to find the elderly soul. Because of her map being handed to someone else, she decided to use her memory and brain for the rest of her journey, venturing on into the forest. She continued on her way until three bear-people came by, all presumably siblings. They looked very upset, and the smallest bear went up to the Reaper and spoke,

“We’re tracking down a criminal. In her mid-20’s, blonde hair, infamous vandal, also a thief. Calls herself ‘The Gold Locks’. We’re hunting her down because we are detectives, and when she robbed our place recently, we decided that was the last straw. Have you had any encounter with her at all?”

The Reaper knew exactly what they were talking about. Thanks to her great memory, she was able to track down where the criminal went. She nodded, and pointed to her right. The smallest bear nodded their head, thanked the Reaper, and went on their way, the other two following them. Smiling, the Red Reaper finally went on her way. However, all this series of good deeds was making her kind of tired, so the elderly soul would have to wait a little while longer. Thankfully, souls didn’t really have specific due dates, so the Reaper had plenty of time. She found a nearby tree and rested aside it, enjoying her meal of cooked beef before finally drifting off to sleep.

The Red Reaper woke up to the light blue sky. Getting up and smiling, she picked up her scythe and basket and decided to continue on her way. Walking through the forest once more, she decided to have a bit of breakfast before noticing that her basket was empty.

“Great. I knew I should have packed more food other than that small pack of beef.”

She sighed and decided to kill two birds with one stone and get something to eat while she was on her way. The Reaper swore she saw what looked like the same wolf from yesterday pass by, it it was too fast for her to entirely make sure. However, she immediately put that aside from her when she sensed a smell of all sorts of sweet-tasting food items. Cake, gingerbread, frosting, peppermint, rock candy, cotton candy, all sorts of delicious stuff. The Red Reaper had to investigate. And judging from the smell, maybe also get a sweet snack as well?

As the Reaper followed the scent, she could feel her mind drowning in the thoughts of all sorts of delicious stuff. Yep, now she was really getting hungry. Then she found the source. A house resembling, and undoubtedly made of, a large triple layer devil’s food cake covered in chocolate frosting, sprinkles, and different forms of candy. The Reaper drooled at the sight of the place, and went near. She grabbed a handful of the cake-house and took a bite. It truly was delicious! She took two more handfuls, stuffing her face until she heard the door open and slithering.

“And thus, another hungry one has entered my area…”

The Red Reaper realized what she just did and turned to see a rather beautiful female humanoid with the face and tail of a snake. The tail was obviously in the place of legs. The snake woman’s hair was pink, blue, and fluffy like cotton candy. Her scales were white with red stripes, resembling that of a candy cane. Her eyes were welcoming and deep blue, shining like jelly beans. Before the Reaper could apologize, the snake-woman smiled, ensuring that the Reaper was okay with her following words.

“Welcome! Don’t worry about the house, that happens often. You seem pretty hungry, why don’t you come in? I have more where that came from.”

Realizing she was safe, the Red Reaper followed the snake-girl into the cake-house. She sat down in a chair next to a table as the snake started making some delicious meals. The Reaper was handed several good stuff like cupcakes, complete with sprinkles and cherries on top, and milkshakes. A grim reaper digested food in a shadowy pouch on the belly area, resembling that of a stomach, in which any food that goes in just slowly disappears, yet a reaper is still satisfied. The Reaper ate as much as she could until she was finally full, and decided to accept some sweets for the rest of her trip. As she made her way out, she heard the snake say something rather interesting. “Usually, I just fatten my guests up so I can have my own snack, I don’t care that I have all these sweets, but since you’re a ‘living’ skeleton, I decided to let you go.”

The Reaper just silently stared at the snake. The snake immediately realized what she just said.

“...and I probably shouldn't have said that out loud…”

That day the Red Reaper decided to claim an extra soul.

And that extra soul’s body was just as sweet as the rest of her breakfast.

So after that, the Red Reaper decided not to be distracted anymore and finally completely focus on her main task: claiming an elderly soul. Once again, she saw what she was sure was the white wolf from earlier pass by, but once again it was too fast for her to completely tell. Coincidentally, the Reaper managed to finally arrive at her destination. It was a small house, nothing more, nothing less. The Reaper knocked on the door.

“Come in…” She heard.

The Red Reaper opened the door. She saw an elderly woman with long white hair sitting on her chair, smiling calmly. This woman seemed strangely confident. The Reaper sensed that there was something a bit off about her, but decided to just continue on.

“Dear elder, do you know what I’m here for?”

“Probably. Lemme think…”

“Your soul. I’m here because your soul has aged.”

“Oh, right, right! That...”

The Red Reaper noticed that the woman was slowly changing shape, her green eyes glowing and shifting.

“What unique eyes you have…”

“Oh! All the better to see with!”

The woman’s ears seemed to have grown pointed and larger as well…

“Wh… What big ears you have,”

“All the better to hear with.” The old woman responded as her snout was becoming longer and canine.

“What big nose you have..”

“The better to smell you with!” The woman smiled, showing her now sharp teeth.

Smell?! The Reaper sighed, giving off one final comment on the woman’s ever-so changing shape, upon realizing what she was dealing with.

“What sharp teeth and claws you have…”

The woman grinned as she got on all fours and took a completely wolf-like shape, growing hair all over and a long tail. Looking at the Red Reaper, she sneered,

“The better to take you down with.”

The Reaper let out a long breath and weld her scythe, realizing that not only was the woman the white wolf she encountered earlier, but also a werewolf. While the Red Reaper never reaped a werewolf’s soul before, she decided to remain confident in this. The werewolf lunged at the Reaper, biting her deep into her arm. The Reaper, while in slight pain, remained unfazed otherwise, and knocked her back, preparing to use her scythe. The wolf dodged the scythe attack, throwing a vase onto the Reaper, who parried it with her scythe, knocking onto the werewolf.

The werewolf was a bit dizzy, but got up anyway and jumped onto the Reaper once more. However, the Red Reaper just stook her scythe out, the werewolf accidentally sliding onto it, only slightly cutting her, but the scythe still knocked her dead; so once she fell, she didn’t get up. The Reaper went up to the werewolf’s corpse, the werewolf’s spirit entering out of the cut with a defeated expression on her face.

“You win…”

“Never try out matching a grim reaper.”

So the Red Reaper and the werewolf spirit entered out of the small house, walking through the forests. The Reaper smiled as she walked with the spirit, seeing many encounters as results of stuff she did. She saw animals, creatures and humans alike helping themselves with the now abandoned cake-house. She found the three bears taking the Gold Locks into their truck, presumably to send her to court and most likely prison. She smiled and waved at the swan-girl sitting in the porch of a calm house she recently moved in, the swan happily waving back. And she crossed the bridge, where the troll, who noticed her come by, stayed under.

The Red Reaper and the spirit finally arrived in the underworld, which was not as bad as expected. People who behaved well or redeemed themselves had the better treatment, while the worst people got, well, the worst. The werewolf and the Reaper made up and the werewolf had a great time there. The candy snake was also there, having a not-so great time. The Red Reaper, meanwhile, noticed that the werewolf’s bite from earlier had a strange effect on her.

The Red Reaper’s skull formed a long snout.

Her teeth turned into fangs.

Her fingers became claw like.

She had now grown a long tail.

Her shadow-hair had also formed wolf like ears.

She had become a werewolf herself.

While surprised at first, the Red Reaper ultimately found this awesome, as did her co-workers! After all, a werewolf grim reaper was actually pretty rare. And of course, they congratulated her on the stuff she’s done on that day. 

The day changed her unlife, and it was the best ever.

The End

[rileyomalley]

Peculiar Tattoos

Numbah two fic gift for @projectcodex​‘s birthday. Also if ya’ll haven’t yet you should WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECAUSE HE IS A WONDERFUL BEAN WHO DESERVES ALL THE LOVE!!! Enjoy reading~

Today could sum up as fairly average in rating, falling into your usual routines of work in the day. You were on your break for the time being, deciding to take a spot outside to get some fresh air. The weather thankfully, dear god, was not that gross smoggy mess that had loomed over Washington like something out of Silent Hill, nor was it glaringly hot and humid. It was that in between that was just right. When you weren't lazily looking through your social media sites, you would idly people watch throughout town who passed by, swinging your legs a bit looking in no particular direction. Something across the way caught within the haze of your spacing mind, leaving your brow to scrunch up and try to figure why. Familiarity hit you like a freight train when one person in particular stood out from all the rest at the shop across the way. It was Romero. Holy shit. It was maybe about...a couple months or so since you'd run into this man by happenstance, stopping in at one of the shops downtown before heading home from work or errands or what have you. It was one of those...you were too tired to remember to be quite honest, but you certainly didn't forget him. He looked to be acquiring something in one of the hobby shops you frequent, to which you inquired striking up a conversation, and from there you both became really good friends. He was a pretty worldly sort, having traveled in a near hermit light style or that of a wandering vagabond with little on his person, he'd seen many sights you loved to hear about and discussed many a common topic between the two of you. Travel, interests in movies, books, hobbies, and topics of the peculiar, otherworldly and strange. Not only were the discussions invigorating, they were very relaxed anytime you both happened to catch each other out and about. Not to mention...he was easy on the eyes. Within your thoughts a reminder told you to head back in and finish up your break, but little did you realize you'd been staring for too long and had alerted the man to your gaze, now standing before you just a few feet away. It was only until he spoke that you sputtered back into reality. "Been a while. You reminiscing or are you trying to bore a hole into someone's noggin?" A flutter of eyes they shot up to his face, Romero giving one of his trademark crooked grins. You breathe out a bit of air before you stand up from where you were sitting, returning a befuddled gaze right back at him. "What if I was? Am I note allowed to hone any other abilities that may or may not involve the demise of people?" Romero just snorted, laughing with a slight shift from one foot or the other. You joined him, happy to greet him and agree that it really had been a while. He asks what you're up to, which you mention you're about ready to head back into work. He almost gives a pout before offering the chance to get coffee after, perhaps dinner if you were feeling terribly peckish within the next few hours. Thinking about it, admittedly you were ready to just flop back at home into a deep nap or to simply veg out with some of your roomies when you got home....but the offer was certainly tempting. You hadn't seen him in a while, and it was a nice chance to catch up and hey...who could deny caffienating themselves further or indulging a little eh? A couple hours pass by, after work you meet up with Romero and the two of you head off to indulge in whatever you were fancying for that evening, settling on a local diner in the area. It was relaxed and had a good selection of food for you both to dig in, to which Romero was happy to spot for. As if he didn't express enough how easily he could eat a horse's weight in food. Good appetite. Relaxing with Romero in the calm thrum of the diner, you felt something tickling at the back of your mind. Recalling the previous times you happened to spend time with Romero, for whatever reason you found yourself attracted to the bits of tattoo's you saw past his sleeve and occasionally near the collar of his shirt. How you weren't without your interest in such things so of course you'd be drawn to it, not only that it was a rather large assortment so they were obvious. Past all that for some reason however, it was almost like some hypnotic draw to them is what threw you off.  You decided to ask. "Romero? Curious about something." He'd been staring off towards the small crowds in the diner before looking over to you, eyebrows perked inquisitively. "Mm? Go ahead, shoot." "I don't know if this'll sound weird or not but...are those the only tattoos you have? Did you also happen to, I don't know, get something done to them apart from the norm? Okay...that sounded weird - but anyway, just asking mostly since anytime I look at them it's like they are...different?" Where were your words. You just sighed a moment trying to sort them before trying again. Before you could speak Romero stopped you. "Nothing terribly peculiar. This is actually a full ah, what would you call it? It's lick a sleeve with a chest and back tat attached? Don't think there's a name for it, haha." He sat forward a bit, undoing a button to give you a bit further look into the expanse of them, to which you quirked your head . "I'd show you the rest of it but, I doubt anyone would want me stripping in this joint." You couldn't seem to hold back the grimace on your face leaving him to laugh. "Really it's fine, I was just curious is all. I'm probably just a bit tired and must have hyper focused on it or something-" "Do you want to see them?" Wait.

"I'm sorry?" He rested his arm on the table between you, quirking a brow. Why was he looking at you like that...

"I asked if you wanted to see them?" Your brow furrowed. "..Romero I can see them just fi-" "I meant all of it, Ikaika." YOU WERE WELL AWARE. Your face seemed to betray you unfortunately, poker facing not in your current repertoire at this point. You didn't answer for the longest time, poking at your food that you had left on your plate. "....okay maybe I'm curious." --- About an hour's worth of teasing later, the two of you decided to pop by his place for a bit since it wasn't that far from downtown and there was still some daylight left. You remember the first few times you popped over to his place, always liking the immediate comfort and serenity you felt here every time you stepped into the threshold. You wondered if curiosities were reaching their limit, yet part of you truly wanted to know what it was that attracted you, save for the obvious reasons. You just couldn't put it out of your mind for some goddamn reason. You were scanning the various decor in his living room before turning to your left at the sound of Romero returning. You were not expecting to see him half naked in front of you, now with the full view of his tattoo. You nearly flushed at the surprise, but found you couldn't look away. The style of the tattoo was akin to that of something tribal - something old that was both clean, simple, yet elaborate. It curled around the right side of his chest, back and became a full sleeve on that arm. Following your gaze he extended his arm out so you could inspect further, chuckling as he watched you closely. There was silence between the two of you for some time before he spoke up softly, the vicinity between the two of you having shortened in that time. "...you know how you asked me if I'd done anything different with these tattoos...other than just average tattoos?" You pulled your eyes away from his arm finally, looking into those light green half lidded eyes. You could feel the heat from his breath, feeling a slight flutter in your chest. That was until suddenly you saw a light out of the corner of your eye, and the glow was coming from ...his arm. His chest....HIS TATTOOS WERE GLOWING. Your eyes widened, stepping back a bit and just...looking over the expanse of it now. You weren't sure what to think. You weren't scared, not really, but it wasn't anything like you expected. You were ready for one of his usual comments, laced with teasing and flirtatious nature, but not...this. His tattoos practically looked like they were living beings on his skin the way they glowed and etched about. "...Romero..." "Yeah. I didn't say anything and figured I'd show you instead. Not really something I show in public." "What is..." He placed a finger on your lips, resulting in a small sound from you. "...I've alot of things I haven't told you. The only reason I show you now is because I feel that you're someone I can trust. That and the look on your face was priceless." He was glad you hadn't freaked out, all things considered he could have done something far more obscure since things like this could be compared to black light tattoos. But this he could do on command. "So...same question. Is this just some...neat effect or is there another...explanation for this. I'm sorry I'm just...my mind is drawing a blank." Romero chuckled at your questions, reaching out and pulling you closer to him. That was also unexpected, having difficulty looking him straight in the eye as you both were terribly close. "Suppose that opens up a whole new avenue for us then, huh? I will give you one answer though about it." You quirked a brow, thankful for the momentary distraction considering you were literally just inches away form his chest; the glow warm and inviting. You didn't want to invade what space there was left, despite knowing him for as long as you did. "W-what's that?" "Well...this is magic, believe it or not. It triggers like this for a variety of reasons." "Oh?" He nods, reaching up and gently brushing a hand through your hair. "Mhm. Good and bad. One of those reasons...unexpected at times, tends to be because I'm near the energies of someone I like." Your mind went completely blank, face heating up instantaneously. "...is that so?" You boldly retort. Romero matched the crooked smile you were attempting to make, and simply nodded. "And...I like you a whole hell of a lot." bonus:

[big-ass-magnet]

Let’s Play a Little Game Called “Too Many WIPS”!

Janey Doesn’t Know (Mass Effect)

“Would everyone stop fucking telling me to calm down? I am not going to fucking calm down! This is not the sort of situation in which one maintains a serene state of fucking mind!”

Damsel Out of Distress (working title) (Transformers)

The argument turned out to be repeatedly screaming “do you know who I am”, which none of the officers found particularly moving. 

A Civil Introduction (D&D)

Two strangers dragging away an unconscious drunk was suspicious. Two mercs hauling their shit-faced friend out of a bar was hilarious.

The Death and Life of Miko Nakadai (Transformers Prime)

“You fight and you fight, and you see nothing but death day in and day out...you either find a way to cope, or you crack.”

Above  (D&D)

In the Underdark, the air smelled like the sulfur of the hot spring, damp stone, thousands and thousands of bodies living and breathing and working. Up here, the earth smelled richer, deep and dark and lit by the green smell of things that flourished in the free air.

Alder  (D&D)

Ilmod’en lowered his head and nudged at the circlet of gold in her hair.

“It is no easy path that I lay before you.”

“It is no easy path,” she repeated, “but it is one I wish to walk.”

Poetry in Motion (Dragon Age Inquisition)

“She’s so amazing,” he said. “I’ve never seen anyone like her. She’s so beautiful and strong and powerful. Her spirit burns with passion like a forest fire.” He blinked. “I should write that down.”

“Kaariss,” Adaar said warningly as the qunari shuffled for a scrap of clean paper. “You can’t write love poems to Cassandra.”

“Well how else am I supposed to court her?”

Technically, It’s Brumation

“Oh what? You think I’m fine with you being a six foot talking turtle that can pick up trucks and do kung fu, but you take a really long nap once a year and suddenly it’s “I can’t take this mutant crap, I’m out’? Is that what you think, Raphie?”

Swerved and Missed (Transformers MTMTE)

“Misfire, I can tell you with absolute certainty that Swerve thinks you are going to kill him and wear his plating like a cape.”

Data-Point Comparison (TMNT 2012)

Their first Valentine's day was Raph beaning Casey in the head with a bar of lavender soap and saying “happy February 14th, you smell like a garbage can”.

and these are just the ones I might potentially finish someday this doesn’t even come close to everything send help I’m a danger to myself and others

[seokluv]

Their Reactions to Finding Out You’re Disabled~

Anon asked;  Hi, if you dont want to do this request that's fine but, I've been trying to find someone to write this. I am disabled and in and out of a wheelchair. I was wondering if you could write BTS finding out their S/O is disabled. Like most of the relationship was Skype dates up to that point kind of thing. I understand if you don't want to do this request though. Love your blog btw 💙

ohmygosh. i had a couple other requests to do before i got this one, but once i saw it, I KNEW i had to do it. this is gonna make me cry omg ;w; next time you request something, could you come off anon? i’d like to be your friend ^o^ or you can message me on tumblr, i think ^.^ i don’t know what it’s like to be disabled, but i imagine it’s really hard sometimes (or all the time) i’d also like to know who your bias is so i can write a short fic with you (or the reader in general) and that member! <3 stay strong, friend <:

okay~ let’s do this request!

Kim Namjoon

Today was the day you were going to tell him. So many Skype calls, and he never noticed that you were in and out of a wheelchair. You didn’t want to tell him, but he had to know. You booted up the Skype program, anxiety clawing at you. You didn’t know what he was going to say, or how he was going to react, even. You hoped he had a positive reaction...

You typed to Namjoon, asking him if he wanted to Skype. He immediately responded with a yes. It was off to a good start. You clicked the blue call button, letting it ring. Eventually, Namjoon picked up, and you both could see each other. You smiled at him, and he smiled back. “How are you Jagi?” he asked, and you rubbed your forearm. “I’m okay, I guess. Look, I really have to tell you something.” you replied, and Namjoon arched a brow. “What is it, (Y/N)? You can tell me anything!” he beamed, and you just couldn’t help but burst into tears.

“Joonie... I’ve been hiding this from you for a long time, but. I’m disabled.” your voice echoed throughout your empty apartment. The anxiety had only gotten worse the second those words left your lips.  “Jagi. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you could see tears pricking at his eyes, and you felt so bad. “I didn’t want you to... to...” you mumbled, at a complete loss for words. “Jagi. I love you no matter what. This means I have even more of a reason to take care of you!” he squeaked, and hearing that made you smile. “Thank you Namjoon. I love you so much.” you wiped away your tears, sniffling some. You spent the rest of the evening talking to Namjoon, and a week later, you finally got to hang out in person for what felt like the longest time.

Kim Seok-jin

You had set up another Skype date with Jin, but this time, it was an important one. You had to tell him something that you were keeping from him for a really long time. You weren’t worried of what he thought after, because you knew he’d always love you, always support you, and always care for you, no matter what. So you weren’t anxious in the slightest. Well... Maybe just a little. This was something he should have known by now, and what if he got irritated by it? Keeping something this important from him for so long? 

When he accepted the call, you were silent for a while. Words couldn’t come to your mind, and you didn’t want to tell him. But it was a little too late for that, since you had already told him you had to tell him something gravely important. “Jagi?” that soothing tone instantly eased your worries, and you cleared your throat before you spoke up. “Okay.. Jin. I’ve been keeping this from you for a while. But... I-I’m disabled.” you frowned, looking at the camera, waiting for his reaction.  “(Y/N). Why did you hide this from me?” he questioned softly, and you shrugged. “I don’t know. At first I was worried of what you would think of me after I told you.. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but... I needed time. I needed to know when it was the time to tell you. I’m sorry.” you croaked, a tear trailing down your cheek. “Oh.. Jagiya.. Don’t cry, I still love you all the same. I’ll take care of you for the rest of my life. I love you.” his words calmed you down, lulled you to a serene state of mind. He blew you a kiss through the screen and you smiled. You loved him so much, and you knew it would never change.

Min Yoongi

The day you dreaded for so long finally came. The day you decided to tell Yoongi your little secret. You had never told him about how you were disabled, since you always feared what he would think after you told him. You had decided to meet him in person, since you felt like it would mean more to him if you told him face-to-face. You were patiently waiting for Yoongi to come over, when you heard someone ring the doorbell. You wheeled over to the door with your wheelchair, and opened the door.

“Hi Jagiya! How’s my babygirl?” Yoongi asked as he let himself inside. He didn’t even notice the wheelchair... Maybe he had already known. You closed the door and wheeled over to the couch, where Yoongi sat down.  “So, you wanted to talk to me?” Yoongi smiled with an accepting expression painted on his face. “Y-Yeah, Yoongi. I did.” you murmured, and he lifted your chin up with his index finger. “What about?” he looked worried now, due to your unenthusiastic tone. “Well... Yoongi, I’m... disabled. As you can tell by the wheelchair.” and Yoongi started laughing. 

“Jagi. I’ve known this for a long time.” he smiled sincerely, rubbing your cheek with his thumb. “Oh. But I thought... that you didn’t know. I never told you.” you sputtered, unable to think of a reason how he would know about this.  “Oh. Yeah, I could tell by the wheelchair and the trouble you had getting up sometimes when we Skyped.” Yoongi explained. A warm smile washed upon your lips, as Yoongi got down to your level to kiss you. “I love you, (Y/N).”

Park Jimin

Many months had passed since you first started dating Jimin. You never thought about telling him you were disabled, you figured he just knew anyways. But, he most likely didn’t know, and you had never told him. Most of your dates were Skype calls, and wouldn’t be able to tell if you had a disability or not. Today was the day though. The day that you’d tell him. You were a little anxious, but not all that worried.

The second he answered the call you told him. You didn’t hold a single thing back, and you didn’t regret anything either. The look on his face was priceless. He was totally shocked, but he wasn’t mad at all.  “J-Jagi! Why didn’t you tell me?” he gasped, and you laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t know... I just thought you would know by now, you know? But I guess not. The look on your face was hilarious!” and Jimin rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t that funny. Now how are you going to walk down the aisle when we get married? This is serious, Jagi!” you blushed furiously. Marriage? He was already thinking about that?  “Jimin, I go in and out of a wheelchair. Sometimes I can walk. I should be able to walk down the aisle, hopefully.” you giggled, and Jimin smiled brightly.

“I made you laugh~ but seriously, why were you so worried about telling me?” Jimin asked, “Well... I don’t know, really. But I know that you accept me for who I am. I love you, Jiminie.”  “I love you too, (Y/N).”

Jung Hoseok

You knew Hoseok would understand when you told him you were disabled, even after keeping it from him for so long. Hoseok was just cool like that. He always understood you and accepted you for who you were. You had zero worries about telling him. The second you booted up the Skype call, you had spilled the beans to him.

“Hoseok... I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, but. I was too scared to tell you at first. I’m... disabled.” you mumbled, and Hobi’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights. “Really?” and you nodded. You were expecting a different reaction from him, to be honest. You thought he would have cried when you told him.  “Jagi-- I... Thank you for telling me!” he croaked, before bursting into tears. Welp. That’s what you were waiting for. “Hobi, baby- it’s okay!” you reassured him, but the tears just kept coming. “It means a lot to me, telling me these things... It means you trust me, a lot! Jagiya, that just makes me so happy.” he wiped his tears away, sniffling some.

“Jagiya. I want you to remember that I will always love you, no matter what happens to you, no matter who you are... God. I just love you so much. Thank you so much for telling me.” he laughs it off, which makes you smile.  “I love you too, Hobi. I was always worried about what you were going to say, but... I guess there was nothing to be scared of!” “Now what do we do? How am I going to take care of you while I’m away from you for so long?” “We’ll figure something out, Hobi.”

Jeon Jeongguk

You had been stressing out for a long time. You’ve been wanting to tell Jungkook about your disability for a while, but you never had the courage to do so. But the day has finally arrived, the day that you told him. You had took him out on a date in person, so it meant more when you told him. It just felt weird doing it on Skype. So you took him out on a nice lovely date to the park, and you tried your best without your wheelchair. But eventually, you needed it.

“Jagiya?! What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, worry painted on his face. You had collapsed, you were pushing yourself too hard today. You needed your wheelchair. “Kookie... I think now’s a good time to tell you.. I’m disabled. I’m in and out of a wheelchair. I was pushing myself over the limit, and... I kinda need my wheelchair right now.” you panted, as you were on your hands in knees in the green grass. “Jagiya! Why didn’t you bring your wheelchair? I don’t even care about the fact that you hid this from me for so long- I care about why you aren’t taking care of yourself...” Jungkook sighed, scooping you up in his arms and walking towards the direction of your house.

“I’m sorry Jungkook. I thought.. that I’d be okay without it, just for one day.”  “Oh Jagiya... You don’t have to apologize. I know you wanted to act like you were a normal person around me, but... if you needed your wheelchair, you should have just brought it. You didn’t have to do this for me...” he felt guilty as all hell, and you could tell by the expression on his face. “I’m really sorry. I...” you began, but Jungkook shut you up by pressing his lips against your’s. “Shush.”

Kim Taehyung

It didn’t take Taehyung long to know that you had something on your mind. You were in the middle of yet another Skype call when he had finally asked what was up. You were anxious about telling him, but it was better telling him now, then never. You had mustered up the courage to tell him after a couple of minutes of silence.

“Taehyung... I’m disabled.” you told him, and his eyes widened. He was shocked, to say the least, and didn’t know what to say at all. He was at a complete loss for words. Finally, he spoke up, “Jagiya. I can’t believe it... How could you keep this from me for so long? I mean, of course I knew something was up eventually, but... still.” he murmured, and you sighed. “I’m really sorry Taehyung. I did want to tell you as soon as possible, but I just couldn’t. I was scared of what you were going to think of me.”  “Jagi. You don’t have to worry about anything, okay? I’m always going to be here for you. Always going to love you, support you... I love you more than you will ever know. I’ll always take care of you. I’ll always protect you. I would do anything for you.” Taehyung said, and tears pricked at your eyes. “T-Thank you, Tae-Tae. Hearing that makes me so happy. I love you, Taehyung.” you whispered.

“I love you too, Jagiya. Forever and always.” he replied, smiling warmly at you through the screen. The rest of the night you guys Skyped together, making jokes and talking about what’s been happening to the both of you and such.

[cgpsimpromptu-blog]

Psychick (Pt. 1)

By Ben Togut

Snow sugarcoated the towering evergreens. The man lay sprawled on the cool pavement, his limbs twisted beyond recognition, forming an ironic snow angel in the dusted fluff, a pained expression on his ghostly face. The Shell gas station sign flickered above the words “never forget” spelled out in a gasoline rainbow semicircle around the body.

I never expected him to come. I never expected the friendly creaking of the bright orange door to awaken me from my morning daze. I thought I’d sit on a coy, oak stool near the window, my pale face pressed against the frozen glass, the dark clouds forming an eerie halo over the sleeping city. I had just started unpacking after returning from my three month tour of India, teaching ESL and making underprivileged children feel like they’re worth something. A wispy voice whispers my name Vera in my ear like a distant lullaby I had once known. I spin around but no one is there. Must be the wind, I think. Must be the soft welcoming of the tiger we call morning, purring, inviting you into that indigo crescent of silence known as peace. I continue nibbling at my bland, lumpy oatmeal, unperturbed. Hughes, an Abyssinian cat I’d adopted from Chennai, purrs, curling his velvety body against my bare leg. I haven’t taken the poison in ten days. I’m ready. I pace to the bathroom, and flinging open my medicine cabinet, slam down the remaining three bottles of Zyprexa onto the countertop. Opening the lid to the toilet, I waterfall the pills into the bowl, each falling with a soft thunking sound. “Bye bye,” I wave as the toilet swallows my last remaining chance at sanity.  I grab the wrinkled note off of the coffee table and find Hughes’ favorite blue-tinged magenta pashmina underneath the expensive meerkat rug in the living room, wrapping it around his shivering skin. I can feel his walnut sized heart beat through the thin fabric as I walk out the door, leaving Hughes ensconced in his little nook where the wall meets the forest green Steinway piano before tapering into the claret walls of the hallway.

I live in the beating heart of Seattle, where the brisk ocean breezes fuse with musky pine cones, making a mélange of salty, wasted tears that fall in the unrelenting torrents of mid-October rain. Leaves of many colors, crimson, pumpkin, purple, casually coast to the ground, making a crunch squeak crunch against my beige UGGs as I clumsily fumble with my oversized velvet purse for the heck of it. Something my psychiatrist suggested was to keep myself occupied. Then again, my psychiatrist is a bald, oval headed man named Carl who always wears hideous maroon sweaters from the Gap. He thinks that “kick-ass brunette, schizophrenic, aspiring playwright, ” is an “unwise and detrimental personal description on your résumé,” but I disagree. I think it’s brilliant.

The rusted brick building is hugged by dead ribs of ivy and moss. Above the rotting rainbow wood door hangs an askew, pipe-cleaner sign that reads Saving Yourself from Yourself. I stare at the man who calls himself Devon, with the misshapen, closely cropped cherry mohawk. He leads me into the mismatched corridor of aubergine and peach and into the room of bleached concrete. People of varying degrees of chaos sit on dark bean bag chairs, sipping steaming beverages out of styrofoam cups. The calm one, Orion, sits in the center, raven hair elegantly framing his piercing emerald eyes.

“Welcome, welcome,” Orion projects.  He then goes into a recap of last week, hands whirling around each other, a clumsy windmill. “Janice,” gesturing to a wrinkled women with dirty, blond hair, “overcame her fear of… Goldfish?”

“No, no, NO ya silly!  Trail mix,” she screams; “TRAIL MIX!” she shrieks with more intensity, a witch burning at the stake.

“Chill out,” Orion responds, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Chill out…? Chill out…! Ok, ok. I’ll chill out when you stop patronizing me. You’re not my dad. I run the show, mister! I don’t need some teddy bear to cuddle…” With a crazed but collected look in her deep, sea blue eyes she jerks her head to the left, a glass doll with a broken neck, and begins talking as if to a small child. “I don’t need some low-class, wannabe therapist to tell me how to live my life. My psychosis is a beautiful thing, and who do you think you are, in your right mind, to try to take that away from me. Huh? HUH?!” Janice clutches a fistful of his shirt, squeezing with such intensity her inflamed knuckles turn a ghastly shade of white. With the other hand, she traces the outline of Orion’s olive features, gliding in circles around his prominent jawbone, where the hints of dark stubble have begun to creep along his face like a spider.

Orion maintains a serene expression, and staring straight into her poisonous glare, retorts, “Take your paws off of me and get out.”

“Fine. FINE!  Henry,” she shouts into space, “you can come out now. It’s time to go.” A prickly silence envelops the room.

“Leave now.”

“I’m looking for my son. I’m looking for my son. I’M LOOKING FOR MY SON!”

“Well, keep looking. The door is that way.”

Janice briskly strides across the room in four paces before whipping her head around from behind the door. She opens her mouth, but is silent. The look of a puzzled monkey comes across her face and she deftly shapes her fingers into small circles over her eyes, before ducking out of the room.

Silence is a funny thing. Not the absence of noise, but the stillness of being: when thought thins out into a fine layer of steam, reducing to the nervous grinding of gears, before ceasing to exist. Silence haunts you, a specter caressing your face with the back of its hand, invisible, but you almost shiver from its presence. Not me. Never. Silence is my soul mate, as I drape myself across my white-feathered ottoman, holding my hand as I stare at the peeling navy paint of my ceiling. A leak in one of its corners has caused a single drop of water to continuously drip, turning the carpet soggy. Its constant, pendulous motion almost hypnotizes me. Drip. Drop. Drip. My eyes become heavy and start to flutter.

Flashes of black and white blur before me, rapid at first, animated cartoonish legs pinwheeling across a blinding surface, slowing down to the clicking of a film reel in an antique projector. Click. Click. Vera. The voice  nears me, encroaching on the most distant corners of my mind. I try to move away from this devil, this monster, but my legs are suspending in time, swimming in syrup. My eyelids soar open, eyes transfixed on my rusting red alarm clock, registering 4:15 , before locking shut. Vera. Open. 4:28. Shut. Vera. Open. 5:00. Shut. Vera. Click click click. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Click click click click click. My body is paralyzed in an awkward fetal position, only my fingers in motion skittering across the couch, whose once soft fabric pricks my skin. A cool sweat breaks out across my body. I jerk my head against the solid arm of the couch, pain blossoming from my head as I feel it smack into a substance with the metallic consistency of monkey bars. Finally, after what feels like centuries, I wake up. The alarm clock reads 9:00. Shit, I’m already an hour late for work.

I’ve worked at Dripping Hand Candles for six months now, named after our logo, a hand holding a candle with wax that drips down from the bottom and envelopes the hand. Approaching the store, I can already spot the manager, Phil, a man with faded paper white skin and stringy blond hair, glaring at me. The bell fixed to the top of the door jingles as I enter. Phil sets down a dark blue candle before coming towards me.

“Vera-”

“Chuck, I’m sorry-”

“It’s Phil.”

“Right, Phil, I’m sorry. This won’t happen again. I think my alarm clock is broken or something-”

“Vera, I am tired of you making excuses. It’s the third time this week that you’re more than an hour late.”

“I-”

“Sorry won’t cut it. Go in the back and help Regine with the candle puns.”

I step out of the aromatic store and into the brisk night air, my light, maroon sweater doing nothing to shelter me from the wind-chill. Vera. I turn around, but nobody is there. I keep walking, thinking my mind is just playing tricks on me like it always does. Vera, you know I’m here. Don’t deny it. I start walking faster, covering my ears with the palms of my hands to stop the noise. Vera. Don’t be silly. You know you can’t shut me up. I start screaming, screaming for him to stop talking, but he won’t, he never will. I frantically take my boots off, leaving them on the ground, and barefoot, I start to run. I don’t know where I’m going, and I don’t care, as long as it’s away from him. I run from bright yellow taxis and angry mobs that don’t exist. I run from dirty old men and beech trees and shrieking babies and black cats, but it’s no use. You can’t run away from me.  My head smacks into a black telephone pole, and my body violently jerks backward towards the ground.

[hcymickcy-blog]

w O W hello??/ small?? beans. it me dee. i cannot express in words how mf LIT i am for this rp and the magic we’re gonna make i s2g if you guys let this flop i will fight ALL of you c: this ooc post is gonna suck so bad you guys will probs have magnificent beautiful posts and this is just shitty but PLS. bare w/ me. i love all of you already.

anyhow i don’t have a bio up for mickey yet bc i’m a hot mess and all over the place but i will make one when i got time. in the meantime pls settle for this shitty synopsis and we can go with the flow ok? ok ^_^

hi this is micaela castro. she goes by mickey or mica! she my twenty-one years old aspiring dancer. her color is GREEN (if u couldn’t tell i literally made her whole theme green and changed the colors in her icons to mATCH). she was born and raised in chicago. humboldt park to be specific. if you don’t know much about chicago that is not... the best... neighborhood. ANYWAY.

growing up she had six older brothers and she’s the baby. only girl AND the baby so it was kinda tough. but she likes to think that it helped her to toughen up (even tho she’s like a flower??)

honestmeme she has such a sob story and there’s quite a few triggers in it, so i don’t wish to really talk about it right now bc i’ll put it in her bio later with proper trigger labels and everything. it’s nOT imperative to know some of those things at the moment, but they have definitely impacted her life.

despite the ups and A LOT of downs, she’s such a princess like. so many times she’s wanted to pull her hair out but she managed to keep it cool. and that’s a big thing about mica is that she’s very serene. cool, calm, and collected. to an extent. i mean that in the way that she handles the hurdles thrown at her

BUT. personality wise this chica is LIT. she is like the definition of an outgoing, friendly gem who loves adventure and just LOVES to socialize.

like honestly if you passed her on the street or ANYWHERE she would stop what she’s doing and strike up conversation if she has a feeling about someone. like that kind of social.

she’s got a lot of spunk and can put a smile on anyone’s face even with her odd-ball tendencies. she’s genuinely a good person.

except if you get on her bad side. if you get on her bad side she is FIERY. she is not a force to be reckoned with. and god forbid you don’t see it coming.

also if you think you know her, unless you’re her best friend, you don’t really know her. she doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve despite what her personality screams. she does what she can to keep her private life under wraps.

meaning she can be distant. ESPECIALLY if she’s jealous for whatever reason.

oh and she doesn’t really have a steady job. she does odd-jobs other than dancing. i thought it would be kinda funny if she was like. ok so she has an apartment (and probs roommates) but i feel like she’s there only a couple of times a week and staying with other friends just bc that’s the kinda person she is.

i feel like this got long ick. ANYWAY. love you guys. I WOULD LOVE TO PLOT W/ ALL OF YOU. PLS. message me! if you wanna aim me my aim is joejonas4eve1 (i will cut all of u don’t u dare say anything)

[gatorfruit-moved]

hey! do all the cute questions you want to do 💙

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk, I don’t like drinking the cereal milk afterwards

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Hell yeah it makes me feel alive

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Hall passes

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

Black or with raw honey for tea, sometimes a bit of sugar or creamer with coffee but I refuse to put milk in my tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Eh, I kinda like it tbh. I got the stupid crooked smile, it just looks bad in pics

6: do you keep plants?

I try but Ohio is the worst. I want to keep some succulents and cacti.

7: do you name your plants?

Occasionally, I had three succulents and one had a name, I think it was Via or something else with a v

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Mostly drawing but sometimes writing. If I’m feelin “free” I play really distorted guitar or bass and if I’m sad I can play a mean flute

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

I love singing in general man

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Equal between side and back even if I am restless, I cannot do stomach

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Nobody speaks Italian dipshit

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Uranus, no not because of anus jokes, it’s my dominant planet and it’s also just neat. I like saturn too.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Playing donkey with a few people at GSA

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Lots of animals, 100% we would have two sphinxes and a snake, art and instruments everywhere

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

I don’t need to google it lmao, I took astronomy last semester. It’s a pretty basic one but Uranus is on its side

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli boiiiiiiiiiii

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

I wanna try real dark blue

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

I mean Nick likes to quote me, “I drown my sorrows in latin pop”

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I keep a really inconsistent journal. It’s mostly writing but like three sketches are in it.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

Brown, needs more love

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My marching band sling bag which is fucked up and has been almost everywhere with me since the summer of 2016, its been covered in mud, burnt, almost shredded with a pocket knife, almost fell into the middle of a lake

22: are you a morning person?

Not at all

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

Play video games in the morning and wander around with Mack when he’s up for it

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Mack

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

I’ve broken into kiddie pools in the middle of the night multiple times

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

My grey street style converse

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Cinnamon bby

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

He’ll say something rude then immediately say “Sorry I love you”

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

God yeah, I don’t really remember the situation but I remember the feeling

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I don’t like socks but I refuse to wear tennis or dress shoes without them cuz of my nail phobia. The colors don’t matter unless I’m going to something formal. I cannot sleep with socks unless I’m freezing my ass off

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Mack and I couldn’t sleep during my birthday party and we decided to go check the pool times and got locked out of the room and the other two were asleep so we sat in the hall for about an hour

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Macarons, I love poffertjes but they aren’t really a pastry

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I still have Purple Kitty from when I was little, the fabric on him is tough af like why is he made of that

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I like a nice pen and stationary set with a wax seal too but I don’t use them often enough to own anything

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

I’m really neutral rn but I’m listening to blackbear

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

It’s not a matter of liking it but my room is really messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Misophonia a bitch man. I’m also really aggressive about it being zo-ology not zoo-ology, venomous not poisonous, saying snakes are slimy, shit like that

39: what color do you wear the most?

Pfft black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have Opa’s dog tags and the ring I got on Kelley’s Island

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

When the Moon Was Ours

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I don’t, I’ve only really been to Starbucks

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

It wasn’t stargazing but I did comment on the stars the other night with Audra, Nick, and Mack while they talked about how fucking cursed Falls is. The last real stargazing I did was with Kennedy this summer.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

The other day, it only lasted a little bit before Carson ruined it. Dove sounds are calming.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

No, I overanalyze everything

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’m really bad at puns oops. I don’t think it counts as a pun but one of my favorite jokes is people who don’t understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways that I cannot put into words.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Fucking green beans

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I mean I’ve always been afraid of chickens and had a nail phobia

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I like it but I haven’t for awhile. I honestly can’t remember it.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

Disney funkos but it isn’t that odd, I like the bat stuffed animals with the loops on the back

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Brown Eyed Girl and Crazy Little Thing Called Love for a girl that people I know irl will immediately recognize

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

Finally some good fucking food is a good one, absolute unit, Mine, sKINNY LEGEND

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I haven’t seen Heathers or Pulp Fiction but the others are Quality

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

Mack

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I’ve chewed up a leaf to prove it wasn’t plastic, drank a cup of sweet and sour sauce, shoved a cucumber down my throat, a lot of weird shit

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

I like listening to people get excited over things

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

It makes me sad because of grief I’m not listening to it

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

Nick is wine mom for all his tea. Mack is vodka aunt because we’re dumbasses together, we’re gonna be each others’ kids’ cool uncle.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Honestly I have no fucking clue, Caeneus is neat

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I’m not a huge fan of poetry but I can appreciate it, Poe is a main mans

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

I like to give people bad sketches. I got a leaf once.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

I don’t usually have juice but if I do it’s orange

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

Oof I’m a huge mess

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Blue I think but I can’t get to a window rn

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Micah or Uzii and Abbas

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

I like natural ones, I made a daisy and wild clover one that was almost perfect, it needed some kinda bigger flower

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I like them a lot

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Freezing and comes out of nowhere, once I wore shorts and a tank top one day and my winter coat the next

69: what are your favorite board games?

I don’t really play board games but I like donkey, a card game

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

No, I usually watch my friends when they use one and laugh at them when they freak out

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

I like english breakfast and green, especially the kind they have at hibachi but it’s only available for restaurants

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

God yeah but I don’t do it.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Biting my nails, retelling stories, there’s a lot more

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

A pseudo-skater, loved more than they think, supportive like nobody else, knows just how to make me feel better, possum kid, rat parent, this ungendered thing is difficult, angry, accidentally yells shit they shouldn’t

75: tell us about your pets!

I’ve got Petey, an anxious boston that’s going grey too early, Pete aka Little Bear, a frenchie that licks too much and looks like your stereotypical black french bulldog, Petunia aka Bug, a nutcase boston with a white face and black ears with a little bit of white on the ends, and Pig, a frenchie that likes biting noses with one floppy ear and bug eyes that doesn’t look like a dog. There’s also Dabb our uromastyx. I call him a scaly puppy because he is.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Finishing a final

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

It’s not really the kind of cute this means but I was upset, leaned on Mack, said I felt like shit, and he made me let him hug me normally without saying a word. I got a lot of good hugs during the cast dinner bc when I cry I don’t stop and everyone who looks at me cries. Damian prob was the cutest cuz he’s usually more reserved emotionally and was really wild but then he was quiet and sad.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Pink, teal, and purple. I hate it.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Oof I forget what his eyes look like oops. I knew someone with eyes the color of deep tunnels in that dark wet clay earth with flecks of gold and stripes like tree bark

82: are/were you good in school?

Ehhhh, I’m not good at turning things in

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

I like a lot of blackbear’s stuff

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

I have a lot of plans like the cadmium symbol, a cosmo, a calavera, a snake diagram, a hyena, a testosterone molecule

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I read some stuff on webtoon like Darbi, Lackadaisy, and Lil Char and the Gang

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

I didn’t know that was a like a thing, I thought that was just how some albums are

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Coco damnit, also Stand By Me

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

I really love pop art

89: are you close to your parents?

I guess? They’ve just got personalities I don’t really like

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Pittsburgh babey!!!!! I love the hills and the style of houses and the energy of those people that bleed black and gold and the yinzers I can understand perfectly and the mountains that are so easy to get to and the art scene and the zoo and primantis and aaaaaaaaaah I love Pittsburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

Pittsburgh and L.A. like always. Going to Disneyworld for a band trip spring break.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Only a tiny bit

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Pompadour mohawk

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Oof most recent I think was my art teacher Miss Harry

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Prom

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I procrastinate so bad dude

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, aquarius sun, gryffindor

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

A couple months ago I did the gorge for the first time. I haven’t gone on a good hike for awhile and it upsetting. I love hiking so much.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Blackbird, Here Comes the Sun, For Forever, This Is Home, there’s a fair amount

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? Why?

Go back five years and tell myself to not talk to A and to just accept myself earlier, it’ll life better, to join wrestling, to ask her out, to just do shit, stop hesitating. To talk to Mack, he’ll be one of the greatest people you’ll ever meet. Give Cadmium all the love you can. Tell Opa you love him and spend more time with him.

[daveywankenobie]

This morning I’ve been out with a couple of firm friends, who only met each other for the first time this today…

Initially they were quite wary – but in no time at all after some introductions they were getting on famously.

Probably bonded by their mutual love of bird watching Boris and Freckles seem to get along pretty well when they first met, and happily sniffed each other’s behinds for a while as their pet humans above greeted one another with (less socially developed) handshakes.

I doubt that Freckled and Boris would have minded me joining in – but I didn’t want to intrude and instead stuck to human pleasantries. Also – as fragrant as their behinds must be I was actually more interested in the other wildlife – of which there was quite a lot today at Arrow Valley.

The Pooches also seemed unusually willing to be photographed this morning.

Normally they refuse to stay still for the camera, yet today here they were allowing me to take snap after in focus snap.

You might think that I’m a charming Dr Doolittle given how calm and collected they are, or what sweet little cherubs they have been to pose for my photo. However what you can’t see just behind me is the piraña like feeding frenzy going on.

A little girl was flinging giant lumps of bread to a growing collection of birds at the official ‘invigorate the ravenous little monsters with wings‘ baked goods slinging platform – and Boris and Freckles were both transfixed by the resulting commotion.

As I turned away from them to watch it struck me that some days what initially might seem like a great stroke of luck is actually the exact opposite.

Sometimes life isn’t what you expect when you’re the little duck that catches the golden crust.

I think that the moral of the story today is ‘don’t **** with the seagulls‘…

As we left the beleaguered little quackers and continued around the park it was clear however that not all was well elsewhere. The strike by refuse collectors in Birmingham is having a pretty dramatic effect on this usually well kept space and the bins are currently overflowing at each and every corner.

(you don’t need photos of this – it was grim)

People have left carrier bags full of rubbish close to them and as you might expect with a lot of wildlife around these are quickly getting ripped open. Frankly the park is a mess today – and I really hope that this doesn’t hurt the birds – especially the fledglings.

On the main island there are a few nesting Herons – and from what I read on the visitor centre bird spotting chart they have some young with them. However when I looked I couldn’t see any – and only one of my full zoom photos of an adult came out clear enough to use.

Apart from the overflowing bins and the skinhead-like seagulls though Arrow Valley was quite serene today. Whilst idly strolling we did around 3 miles around the reserve – all the time with Freckles and Boris sniffing away in the bushes and trotting back and forth to say hello to passers by and other dogs.

As lovely as all this was though I must fill my green exercise ring on Apple Watch (which sedate strolls do not do sadly) otherwise my OCD will cause my head to explode. As lovely as my amble was I needed to do MORE!

Since I am still in need of a pair of black trousers, I headed out when I got home for a brisker walk into town to try and find some.

Sadly these are proving difficult to find – especially given that I have mentally budgeted only £5 for them. All in all I walked a further six miles trying to find my mythically cheap item of unicorn clothing and returned empty handed – but I will persevere!

(I have heard a rumour that there are some in a pot – just at the end of a rainbow!)

On the plus side every step I do is something toward the scales next week – and given that the theme of last Saturday’s image therapy session was step counting and ‘body magic’ (exercise with Slimming World counts to awards) I’ve been trying to keep my numbers up.

On Saturday I finished with 21,314 steps, Sunday was 13,057, and today is currently 22,110 – so I’m hopefully on track for an average of 20,000 a day (around 10 miles).

I’m also trying to ‘tweak’ my food a little bit to reduce calories and today swapped out kidney beans from my favourite chilli dish and replaced them with an aubergine and some chopped green and black beans (both of which came from a friend’s allotment and were delicious).

The other ingredients were a courgette, broccoli, red pepper, leeks, mushrooms and 5% fat pork mince. The seasoning was cumin, smokey paprika, chilli powder, salt, a beef stock cube, some garlic – and finally to season some freshly chopped coriander was thrown in at the end.

Honesty this was so good that I may just forgo the kidney beans altogether from now on. A can of them has 280kcal in it – whereas an entire aubergine has 50Kcal – and 100g of green beans has 25kcal.

Thats over 200kcal saved today!

Finally – Rusty McBike is now back in the saddle!

Well – at the very least Rusty has a new (old) saddle (courtesy of a friend’s dusty garage contents) and although I’ve not yet had a chance to properly test her out on a long journey yet things currently seem very secure indeed.

She has even got a new donated strap-on gel butt cushion to alleviate the intensely bruised bottom that the previous saddle was immediately capable of giving me. It’s early days but I’m hopeful that this superb combo means that we’re going to be very happy together.

If worst comes to worst another friend has been a dumpster diving hero and secured yet another saddle clamp from the clutches of a nearby skip (in the right hand pic). As rough as it looks as long as I have a spare then I’m pretty happy.

It saves money on eBay and every little bit can go to my unicorn trousers!

As soon as I get a chance I’ll take her out for a spin and let you know how I get on. It’s most likely to be Wednesday however as I have even more planned for tomorrow! Time and tide waits for no man!

Anyway – I must get some sleep – nighty night internet.

Davey

Introducing friends This morning I've been out with a couple of firm friends, who only met each other for the first time this today...

[hazel-ware]

The Sun Keeps Rising: A Glimpse of Cuban Life

Bright and early in the morning, when the sun has barely risen, a man comes walking through Old Havana.  He strolls the streets while pushing a cart and singing a sweet melodic song regarding the fresh, warm bread he holds in his cart to sell. For many, he serves as their alarm. Kids pounce out of bed at the sound of his deep, loud, harmonic voice.  They drag their parents and run to the balconies of their brightly colored tropical homes.  “Oye!” the kids shout at the man, alerting him that they want a loaf of bread.  He throws a rope with a small bag attached to their balcony.  The parents of the children put three pesos in the bag, and in exchange, the man pulls a loaf of bread up to the family.  The day begins.  

A glass of natural juice lies on the table along with the warm bread the children recently pleaded for.  Next to the bread lies a bowl of fruit, usually filled with sweet guava, pineapple slices, and mango.  The children run from their rooms, dressed in their bright red, white, and blue school uniforms.  The young boys in red slacks and the young girls in red skirts.  All have a loosely tied blue bow around their necks.  They sit at the table, devouring what their parents have prepared for breakfast.  And when 8:40 nears, the time school starts across Cuba, the kids rush out the house, running through the calm streets towards school.  “Ten cuidado! Ten cuidado.”  The parents yell from the balconies at the children, warning them to be careful.  Each parent watches their child from the balcony until they can no longer see them, while guards stand on the street ensuring no child is left behind.

I watched my mother as she, along with my uncle, glanced at my little cousins and the hundreds of other kids run to school, reminiscing over the fact, that she was once, one of those kids.  The hot, piercing sun gleamed across their faces. They scrunched up their noses, acknowledging the sun was blinding their vision.  But they continued to look as the other bystanders did, at least until the children were out of sight.  As native Cubans, the sun seemed to never bother them.  Possibly growing up in Cuba allowed them to develop some sort of tolerance to heat.  However, me, being from the northeastern region of the U.S., I walked inside first, for I am not used to such strong wondrous heat from the sun, as its rays shine through Cuba’s wet, tropical atmosphere.

The temperature ranges from an average of seventy-seven degrees during the winter and eighty-eight degrees in the summer. Cuba’s weather is heavenly for many. The ocean creates a wonderful breeze, especially in Havana; however, the humidity is strong.  Sometimes the weather can be a bit too hot for me; but it never stops me from enjoying the country.  Throughout my stays in Cuba, I have always tried to understand why I always long to go back.  Aside from visiting my family, there seems to be another force, a quite addictive force, compelling me to revisit Cuba, walk through the lively streets, and explore more of the extensive culture.  

Cuban culture is complex, yet beautiful and unique. The country is truly stuck between the past and the present.  But it calls for a nice walk through the past, as one can examine how the distant past and the present collide as one.  

One aspect of Cuban culture is the abundance of brightly colored vintage American cars, usually dating from the late 1950s. Every time I go, I cannot help but to stare at the beauty of Cuba’s famous cars.  As I stand on the sidewalk of El Malecón (a large pier that extends for miles along the border of Old Havana and the Caribbean Sea), I watch the cars go by, occasionally honking their loud horns.  Each car is so uniquely painted.  One may be purple, another pink, a third blue, yellow, green, and every other color of the rainbow.  The types of cars range from 1950s Dodges and Fords to 1950s Rolls-Royces.  Every once in a while, one may even see a car from the 1800s.  In Cuba, most of these cars function as taxis, designed to captivate the tourist population.  Many tourists seem to be fascinated by the selection of old, freshly painted, and highly maintained cars they can choose from.  From El Malecón, I smile as I see the tourists sitting in the cars as they pass by in mere fascination.  For many, it is the first time they have ever rode in a vintage vehicle, or even seen one.

After a while of watching the cars, sometimes I turn around and watch as people jump into the ocean, play in the coastal waters, fish, and boat.  El Malecón is a central part of the culture in Havana.  It is a hangout place and a place to unwind for many.  During the weekend and summer nights, people, usually young adults, rush through the streets (some with large boom boxes on their shoulder playing music) to head to the pier.  My mother often laughs when she sees people walking around with boom boxes on their shoulders, for she has not seen such a trend since the 1980s in the United States.  The streets light up and the pier turns into an area of festivities.  Older men sometimes bring their drums, making beats to compete with the modern music of the younger generation, which they blast through their speakers.  Kids dance with their parents.  Guards stand in neon green jackets every hundred feet, making sure the event stays safe. Yet, sometimes even they get lost in the fun, dancing among the people, living life as if there is no tomorrow.

The atmosphere in Cuba is quite different than the U.S.  People are assimilated into a culture of “serious leisure,” where people live to work as opposed to work to live.  Since the income is unfortunately regulated by the government, people are limited by how much they can make for the work they do.  However, due to such a limitation, people are also more likely to go after jobs they truly enjoy as opposed to chasing a desired income.  

One popular job in Cuba is to run a restaurant. There are restaurants in every corner, especially in Havana.  Whether the restaurant be a carry out or dine in space, the owners take much pride in their businesses and the food they make.  

Cuban food is absolutely delicious.  The average meal comes with plantains (soft or fried), rice, beans, a natural juice (such as mango juice) along with the main dish. Main dishes range from simple dishes like ropa vieja (a mouthwatering, juicy, dish of seasoned stewed beef and vegetables) to more complex courses such as Uruguayan steak (a thick softly fried piece of marinated beef or pork stuffed with fresh ham or roast beef and cheese), I have never been disappointed.  Many cooks in Cuba, much like America, take pride in the food they make and serve to satisfy not only the commoners, but the tourist as well, as they want them to have the time of their lives.  A famous area for restaurants in Cuba is La Plaza Vieja (the Old Plaza).

The Old Plaza is a very famous area in Havana. It is a square shaped plaza with colorful buildings that function as apartments and hotels, whose bottom floors are occupied by famous restaurants.  In the center, different events occur, ranging from weddings to dance shows.  The dance shows are often created by the renowned Raiz Cuba Dance Acadmeny, whose building is near the Old Plaza.  The students at the dance academy have danced for years, and as professionals, they never fail to impress.  Sometimes, they invite tourists to dance with them.  An unplanned festival begins in the plaza.  And if this happens to occur during the time school ends, sometimes students of all ages join in on the fun.  Often times the older generation dances to salsa, rumba, and guanguanco, dances that originated in Cuba in the early 1900s.  Younger generations often groove to more modern dances, many of which originated in the U.S. during the early 2000s.

Aside from the Cuban festive city life, the country life is a little different.  In the countryside of Cuba, in lieu of major cities exist pueblos such as Trinidad, Cuba. Pueblos in Cuba are small towns that are usually home to a small population.  In pueblos, more natural resources are used.  The roads are usually brick and more horses are used as a form of transportation, though cars are still readily available.  The communities are much more close-knit and the events are more family oriented.  In Pinar del Rio, another famous area of the country side, there are many national parks and nature reserves.  One can climb mountains, look at wildlife, camp, and hike.  The culture is much more serene in the countryside.  However, the style of eating and the culture surrounded by dance and fun do not change.  

Many of Cuba’s famous beaches such as the beaches in Veradero exist in the countryside.  Cuban beaches are extremely famous.  They are known for the clear light blue, shallow waters and white sand.  One can walk over a mile into the sea and the water will still be at their waist.  Because the water is so clear, fish and the sea’s vegetation can easily be seen below.

I remember the first time I went to a beach in Cuba.  My dad stood by me as my mom took photos of the water.  She loves photography and takes any opportunity she can to capture a moment.  I sat by a beach chair and hesitated to take off my flip flops.  My mom had previously told me stories of how she had been bitten by crabs when she was young.  The last thing I wanted was to be injured by such a creature.  So, I waited until I checked the area, making sure there were not any strange objects that resembled crabs on the sand to take off my shoes.  Everything was so visible.  The sand was so white.  I had never seen sand that color, at least so vibrant.  Previously, I had visited other Caribbean islands where the sand differed from the typical grain of sand I see in the U.S.  But this sand was even different from the sand of other Caribbean islands.  It looked like soft crystals on the ground.  Taking off my shoes to feel it, I realized it felt the same as any other sand.  It seeped through my toes.  I could feel the heat on the sand as it burned my feet.  I ran to the water to cool off.  My father followed behind me ensuring I was safe.

The water.  The water was actually warm.  It was not cold like the beach in Ocean City I had went to a few weeks before, or room temperature like the beaches in Miami.  But the water was warm, warm enough to soak comfortably in.  The waves were not high.  Instead they were low.  The current was good.  I was relaxed. It was almost as if I could fall asleep on the shore, float on the shore, live on the shore.  I watched as kids my age jumped off a nearby pier into the water.  Their parents seemed calm, possibly because they knew it was hard to drown in shallow, serene waters.  

I never wanted to leave the beach.  When the sun started to set, my mother offered to let me watch it.  She told me stories of how her father would always take her and her siblings to a beach near her childhood home in Mariano, a borough northwest of central Havana, to watch the sunset.  The bright orange sun reflected upon the clear waters.  The breeze was perfect, yet the weather was still warm (a cozy warmness).  I laid down in the beach chair, drifting to sleep.  The atmosphere provided a comfortable place to drift off.  Usually I am apprehensive about falling asleep in areas I am not familiar with.  But this was different.  I felt at home.  And so, I knew I would wake up tomorrow and the day after with more and more adventures, adventures that would take me away just as this one.  

Cuba has taught me so much.  It has expanded my knowledge on even the basics of life, the things I thought I had known fully.  Each time I visit Cuba, I am shocked and brought to new understandings about life.  Often times I am saddened that the government can be so restricting.  Yet the people do not seem so oppressed.  They take life to a different level, and leave their circumstances to the side.  In Cuba there is a saying, “la vida es demasiado corta para estar triste,” meaning, “life is too short to be sad.”  The people take the worst out of situations and make the best out of it.  And regardless of what happens, they keep going. Because, in Cuba, the sun keeps rising.