#I am calling them Wacker

[sulphuric-onyx]

redrew an old peice today! (on accident)

made this bc I had just watched s18 and was positively miffed at what they did to my blorbos, drew the poses and then realised I was redrawing a piece from august last year (which is under the cut), very proud of how the armour turned out, first time using colouring pencils on a sketch, details turned out a lil fuzzy so I recomend zooming in on parts lol, but apart from that I'm really proud of this, especailly comparing it to the old one, I've made a lot of progress :]

(also as much as I still love this piece, I do now look at it and cringe at bits, mostly how the colours are and how they blend into the lineart lol)

[boxtown]

Welcome!

Hello! My name is Charlie G. I’m a storyboard artist, director, supervising director and writer. In my time in animation I’ve worked on projects including Jellystone, Big City Greens, Harvey Beaks. 

(Above: Boxtown Promotional Poster by Dylan Forman and Charlie G)

I’d like to officially welcome you to the first unofficial installment of the Official Boxtown Production journal! This is intended to be my official diary as I attempt to create the pilot for Boxtown, an indie film noir buddy comedy pilot starring Alex Hirsch and Tara Strong that’s scheduled to come out around Late 2023 - as well as my own personal journey as an artist.

I wanted to talk a little about my intentions in creating this project. The two main characters, Detective Tim Standing and Bill the Orphan have existed since around 2008 when they were created for a webcomic I was doing in high school.

(Above: Boxtown Artwork by Nicole Rodriguez)

In 2016, I revived the characters as the inspiration for a new project called Boxtown. Instead of superheroes as they originally were intended to be, I turned them into detectives, based on my lifelong secret obsession with wanting to be a detective that first started the moment I saw an episode of Inspector Gadget. 

(Above: Production Turnaround Artwork by Tess Wacker)

I want to create an original internet production that is of very high quality. Obviously, this is a very difficult thing to accomplish. So, this blog will be my attempt to document my difficult experiences while also highlighting the incredible art of the artists that I am so, so lucky to be working with. Boxtown’s team combines seasoned TV animation talent with fresh indie animation talent to create something that is intended to feel new but like a progression of the legacy that has come before.

(Above: Storyboard by Drew Green)

I hope you’ll join me on what has already been a pretty exciting journey! I just want this to be a space where I can document the BTS material and general creation of the project. I also plan to share concept artwork, animation tests, and environment tests here. And our goal is to always credit the artists who created this material properly.

(Above: CG look test by Star’s Art Bar)

-Charlie G. 

[drdemonprince]

Many times at this protest, I notice Arab men filming or livestreaming the proceedings, or Facetiming relatives so they can watch the action too, a stunned look of gratitude on their face. I’m not normally good at interpreting facial expressions, but even this registers to me: they’ve never had so many people caring about them before. 

Two generations ago they were driven off their lands, robbed of their homes, had their legal citizenship revoked, watched their olive trees burn. For decades they have been battered, bombed, and demonized, and now suddenly a great number of people care, and they never expected to live to see it. I see multiple grown men cry just taking it in. This is a sight that I will soon get used to.   Hundreds of us gather in the freezing cold at the Buckingham Fountain, just a few yards from the highway and the lake. We are wearing layers, leggings under pants, long sleeves tucked into sweaters buried under coats, the rows of our bodies blocking the worst of the wind but also making the speakers leading the chants impossible to see. It does not matter, we are hear for one another. Together we are the event. 

For a long time we are there, repeating and repeating the phrases we’ve all come to know so well. End the Siege on Gaza Now. There is Only One Solution, Intifada Revolution. Long Live the Intifada. Israel Bombs, the USA Pays. Palestine is Our Demand, No Peace on Stolen Land. 

In the past, at protests, I used to be highly neurotic, too aware of the unique nasality of my voice, afraid of being the last voice to call out or the one that kept a statement repeating for too long, wondering needlessly whether I should be repeating phrases like “I can’t breathe” when people like me obviously can, or “Whose Streets? Our Streets!” when perhaps the streets should not be mine. 

These actions have freed me of my navel gazing, which was always purposeless and entirely too self-involved. I am one body among hundreds that helps make the crowd, I am to be a megaphone. I am echoing the collective will of the people, my own mewlings of support subsumed within the growing wave of everyone else’s. I don’t need to think about everything, I can just be a part of the great resistance all around me. 

I’m a solitary white person and a writer, and it took me far too long to welcome the modesty of my place. Suddenly though, I’m incredibly moved by the chanting, and feel a shared power in our all getting to amplify it together. This must be what people feel at church, I think, or at synagogue or the mosque. This must be how people who haven’t been poisoned with individualism feel. This is how it is to really be a part of something, not for how it looks or because you think you should, but because you have no choice, it is simply what you do. 

We are asked to lay down for a twelve-minute “die in,” representing the (at least) twelve thousand people whom Israel has killed. But there are so many of us, pushed togethering in spaces so cramped, so we have to collaborate to arrange this arm and that leg so we don’t get in one another’s way. I am filled with peace as we all lay there, staring into a pristinely clear sky. I think of the silence between the dropping of bombs, how the Palestinians never know rest and how we cannot either. 

Then, perhaps only four minutes in, the organizer takes to the megaphone and lets us all in on the secret: Get up now, get up now, we are taking Lakeshore Drive! This was never meant to be a die-in, that was all a ruse, but it only worked as one because so many of us were able to be pawns and had no inside knowledge for the police to steal from our private messages. 

We dash down the plaza and into the street, a few of us sitting down in the road with banners while the cops try to block the rest of us off with their barricades and bikes. What ensues is terribly exciting, the organizers leading us by the dozens over the fences and into the barricades, elderly people and children pushing up against the cops just as doggedly as teens and twenty-somethings. Cups fly, bodies launch themselves over barriers, and we scream and scream LET US IN. 

The cops’ large metal barricades rise up in the air, and some police press them outward into us, trying to knock us back, but then one man hurls himself between the joints, injuring himself as he hits the pavement but creating a gap, and then we all rush in like a flood, taking the highway, yelling and gesturing backward to welcome more down the hill and into the road with us. 

We hold the highway for hours, much of the traffic through the city’s main artery having to be redirected to avoid us. I watch young people scale traffic light poles to hang Palestinian flags and keffiyehs from the lights. I see Muslim men lined up on the sidelines, buffeted by us, kneeling to pray facing Mecca. I march with my comrades down the length of the street, tiny toddlers just as precious as the ones whose lives as been stolen, young adults with futures as promising as Moaz and Bisan, and elderly folk like those who still remember the united and free Palestine. 

Plastic buckets clap out a rhythm while street performers join us too, singing Free Free Palestine in a honeyed harmony. We are proving to be quite the hassle for the city to deal with, together, but they’re having to get used to it. 

The full essay is free to read or to have narrated to you at drdevonprice.substack.com.

[whumpwillow]

(Knife thrower here. Again.)

I wish I was royalty. But the closest that I'll ever get is my sword collection 😎 (Yeah I am aware that I'm cool/j). I don't live in a castle, but I do spend a lot of time at Nemophilist Hollow if that counts? And as for knight training, I can *legally* join in my local Knight Club (It's a real thing here, we call them the Sword Wackers. Nice group of people. They have a lolly cannon.) But yeah, I do live a pretty fun life :)

It sure sounds like you live a fun life! You can legally become a knight omg I love that. I hope you get to do everything you want, lil fantasy person 🥰

[publiccollectors]

QUARANZINE #78 QUARANZINE #78: Alexander Richard Wilson. I spend a lot of words explaining how these collaborations happen because I hope it helps people see the value of trusting the potential of working together with people you barely know. Alexander sent me a friend request only about a week ago and since we have a lot of good friends in common and he seems to be doing cool work, I accepted it. I'm not sure we've ever met. When I put a call out for new collaborators a couple days ago he posted some great portraits of Angela Davis and Assatta, but they were older and I'm looking for what people are doing that is responsive to our current situation. I encouraged him to think about it some more and told him there was still time. Then last night happened in Chicago and Alexander posted this. I reached out and said that this text could be our collaboration if he was up for it. He was, I copy edited, got his ink/paper color preferences, and we made a publication. I stand in admiration of Alexander's courage last night, as well as his rage. Since it's a long text and will be hard to read as a scan, I've posted it below as well:

I write you tonight from our home in Chicago on Bridgeport’s South Side after what we’ve seen and participated in at today’s protest. Everything is based on my first hand account and I was of sound mind and body as I participated in this event.

We left our home at 5 pm for Chicago's Orange line station at Ashland. We walked from our home to Mariano's prior, to purchase gauze, bandage tape, and hydrogen peroxide. We decided our participation, if needed beyond our occupation of space, would be in the interest of helping those injured by the events of the evening.

We made it to Ashland at about 5:16 and, by 5:30 we were on the train. The Orange line was running for one stop. All trains were being stopped into the loop before Roosevelt (an important circulation point). We walked the distance from the Halsted Orange line station up through the West Loop. The disconnection of the Loop from the North, and West Sides of the city with the raising of the drawbridges was futile, in that it created obvious choke points that were navigable from the South and South West sides. It was clear to me that attention was being paid to the North Loop, and the Riverwalk area, as demonstrators had moved to the State and Wabash bridges. We made it to this point after walking the distance from Halsted Orange at 6:30. Walking across the bridge at Congress, state police were on the bridge adjacent to the Willis tower and the Wacker end of the financial district. LaSalle was deserted and unprotected. There was no damage to LaSalle Street Corridor buildings or facades. Upon hitting Dearborn there was evidence of the protest and we followed that with a population of over 200 up State. The State street bridge was under a seeming attempt at raising. We initially couldn't tell if we could pass it but we crossed the bridge to the north side of the river where we and other demonstrators were met by a line of officers in riot gear, with batons. The point of protection here, was to block protesters from reaching the base of Trump Tower. I think a lot of damage to the rest of the Loop that was done tonight could have been partially mitigated if the police had given up the position of defending Trump Tower. At around 7:15 we were moved back by an explosion or launching of a device. The bank at the corner of the Kemper building was heavily damaged and officers were pressed against the wall in this position. There were more explosions and we ran back to position at State and Lake.

At this point, I was becoming concerned for my and Grace's safety. The increasing number of explosions and obvious trap definitely meant we could have been pinned against State Street and I didn't want that. We could see officers moving in a line State Street, attempting to reclaim it, and as they attempted to reclaim State, a contingent of protesters pressed against Macy's launched an object at the facade of the building creating an entry point. The officers advanced further down State. This happened in 18 seconds. Maybe 20. We moved from State to Dearborn. The damage to facades of buildings and soft infrastructure was widespread and at Dearborn and Washington we watched what we believed to be a building's lobby exploding. We later found out it was the explosion of a cop car at the hands of demonstrators. At this point, we were at Daley Plaza, and a white man without a mask on jogged past us. And I mean in a way that chilled me. We were advancing southward, on foot down Dearborn and then we circled back up the eastern end of the Loop under Wabash. While crossing State Street officers were on horseback. Incredible damage had at this point been done. We collected a bike with a friend, and then continued south to home. In this walk, I saw, maybe six white biker gangs entering the Loop, white men in very large trucks, and more mysterious white men running without masks, toward a war zone. And I became more afraid. We made it home with two other friends who we had met while there then escorted them to their transportation points.

The magnitude of the events of today will be with me for the rest of my life. I believed that in any sense of direction, present in the world of law enforcement. the concept of managed retreat would have been something discussed and commonsensical. But tonight, officers of the law, these proud boys, were overwhelmed so completely with the presentation of this generational rage, apexing now in the midst of this global health crisis. They never intended to do this correctly in the first place or even manage it well enough at all. Lori Lightfoot is a failure of a mayor and a caricature of a Black woman in every sense of those words. The actions of the police force tonight speak to the failure of the institution. Chief after chief, mayor after mayor. It’s disgusting and deplorable that this is happening. I burn with rage over the destruction of these cities as a lover of beauty, but there is no equity in beauty, no corrective place while these institutions occupy these spaces. The beauty is void and for so many of these people of color, unattainable and filled with riches that class warfare has made inaccessible. Grace and I tried to make points and support the crowd action the best we could. The explosions and destruction and oppression could have been mitigated if officers had deployed a different tactic. Ultimately the disparities in American culture, and the deaths of African Americans the nation over at the hands of officers of the law, white nationalists, and Nazis has brought us to our most boiled point. I love you very much. I cry as I type this; I truly had hoped we wouldn't have to go through this but the occupation of the White House by a dummy President and white supremacist figurehead has brought this nation to its knees. We are in shambles and we demand change. Acknowledgments. And progress. There is no fairness here and there has been no fairness in a very long time.

I am of great privilege. I have influence and a voice that speaks loudly and I will continue to do what I can, when I can to help express the voice of the African American people. My people. I am fortunate to be loved by an incredible person and have incredible friends in all of you. In this city. A city that has run on the backs of Black people for two centuries. This was due to come to pass.

America we are again for the second time in our history, truly at war with ourselves. There is now an obvious expression of white supremacy walking among us in our cities. God fucking speed.

— Alexander Richard Wilson (written on May 30, 2020) 

[thistreasurehunter]

Project Earplugs (Part 3)

Summary: Snippets from The Pogues’ WhatsApp messages. John B live-texts film night and gathers evidence, while Pope turns to fan fiction for inspiration.

(Implied future Kie/Pope. Implied future JJ/Reader. This is set in a slight AU – the reader has always been one of the Pogues and none of the events of season 1 have taken place.)

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the Outer Banks characters or settings.

*************************************************

Project Earplugs Group Chat

John B: Well, the movie’s just gone on.

John B: They claimed the sofa – obviously – so I’m in the chair and can text freely where they can’t see

John B: Not that they’d notice anyway

John B: They’re currently having a discussion about camera angles and POV shots

John B: Btw, JJ turned up with a singed eyebrow!?

John B: Now they’re talking about the female gaze

John B: #flirtyfilmnerds

Kie: Seriously JB, don’t feel the need to live-text the whole night. They’re our friends too, we know what they’re like. We literally see them act like this all the time.

John B: No, I think I should! It’s like collecting evidence!

John B: Like, if ever they find out about our meddling, we can present them with all these examples of their repressed love for each other and why we were just helping open their oblivious little eyes

Pope: That’s not a bad idea actually.

Pope: We should flag this stuff so we can easily find it later

Kie: I thought you were supposed to be writing your essay.

Pope: I am, you’re both distracting me.

John B: EVIDENCE – she’s got her feet in his lap now

Pope: I thought you were helping your dad?!

John B: Have you ever heard of a game called flicker-wacker? They’ve mentioned it about 5 times so far

Pope: Kie?

Kie: Break’s over, gotta go – the tips don’t earn themselves! 😊

John B: They’re mostly watching the film now

John B: Oh, but wait!

John B: EVIDENCE – he’s started, sort of, rubbing her feet! Bit like a lowkey massage. They’re still both watching the movie

John B: I’m gonna try and get a covert photo

John B sent a photo

Pope: photographic evidence – nice touch!

Pope: So, I’ve been doing a bit of research – according to the internet, this appears to be a “friends to lovers” situation and there seems to be several different ways this arc can be resolved.

John B: Newsflash Pope! Reading Sherlock fanfic is not research!

Pope: Shut up!

Pope: Also, it can be

John B: EVIDENCE – pretty sure I just heard her moan a little

John B: Again, what happened with the essay?

Pope: Guys, enough with the nagging – I did a solid 20 minutes, now I’m having a break

John B: Just looking out for our brainiac - #weheartpopesscholarshipsuccess

Pope: Okay, well thanks, I guess

Pope: Anyway, a few scenarios I’ve come across so far are: fake dating, sharing body warmth to stop hypothermia, making one jealous of a potential new love interest, accidental/forced bed sharing, platonically raising a baby they get joint responsibility of somehow, sex or die and soulmate au. There are probably more, I’m still looking

Pope: Guys…?

Pope: Why’ve you gone quiet?

John B: Um, okaaay.

John B: Tbh, not what I was expecting you to say

Pope: Oh. Like how?

John B: Still processing

John B: I don’t even know what some of these things are

Pope: Which?

John B: Um, the last two for a start 🤨

Pope: I’ll send you a few links

Pope attached links

John B: Is this really the kind of stuff you read? I thought you read proper books?

Pope: Again, shut up. Don’t fan shame me. It’s completely okay to enjoy reading fanfic as well as ‘intellectual’ books!

Kie: 100% agree.

Kie: I’m just more intrigued about how we’ll be able to facilitate a soulmate au to get them together?

Kie: Or how either of them could get so cold they’re at risk of hypothermia, in summer in the OBX?

Kie: Or where the surprise baby will come from!?

John B: Maybe you two could have a kid, make them godparents, then die tragically, leaving your beautiful defenseless baby in their incompetent hands?

Kie: Um, that really would be playing the long game

Kie: Also, we’d end up dead, so not the best possible outcome thanks!

Pope: Also, we’d definitely want our baby to be raised by one or both sets of our parents

John B: Bit of a serious reaction to a joke there, dude

John B: At least you know Pope has a plan for if ever that did happen Kie! 🤣

Pope: Eugh, maybe I should go back to my essay!

John B: hahahaha

John B: EVIDENCE – she’s just got up for a drink and trailed her fingers through his hair on the way past

Kie: The jealousy idea isn’t too bad.

Kie: We could probably pull something off along those lines at the Boneyard kegger tomorrow

John B: Actually, that does sound do-able

Pope: See, my suggestions weren’t that stupid after all

Kie: Debatable

John B: Dude, do you know one of the links you sent me was about tentacle porn?

Pope: Um, was it? I wonder how that managed to get there? Well, yeah, just ignore that one

John B:  😂

John B: hahahaha! Sheepish much!

John B: EVIDENCE – They’ve moved position on the sofa and he’s now got his arm around her shoulders and she’s resting her head on his chest

John B: Conclusive evidence, if you ask me.

[ladywinchester1967]

Shape of my Heart: Chapter 3

Pairing: Billionaire! Jensen Ackles x Allie (OFC)

Warnings: HERE BE THE SMUT, we got oral (female receiving,) fingering, unprotected sex (wrap your wacker IRL), domestic!Jensen, fluff, angst, feels. 

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy the 3rd chapter of this series!! This is a work of FICTION and not meant to disrespect Jensen or his family (they are lovely and amazing, we’ll pretend he is single for this.) I did read though this and any mistakes that may have escaped are mine. Pic are not!

Wanna catch up?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

In her head it was all sunshine and butterflies. Allie has been on two, coming up on three dates with Jensen and they were constantly calling and texting.

“Uh oh,” Trish said “I know that look.”

“What look?” Allie asked as she dug into her salad.

“That love struck look,” Trish said fondly “it’s cute on you, it really is.”

Allie rolled her eyes and said

“It’s not love, I’ve barely been on three dates with him.”

“But you REALLY like him right?” Trish asked

“Of course I do.” Allie told her “What’s NOT to like? He’s sweet, smart and sexy as hell.”

“Sexy huh?” Trish asked her eyebrows raising.

“GOD yes!” Allie told her.

“I've never heard you describe a guy as sexy that wasn't Sebastian Stan or Alexander Skarsgard.” Trish pointed out and Allie laughed.

“That's true,” she admitted “but I'm telling you, he is.”

“I believe you.” Trish said with a fond smile.

That night, Allie and Jensen were talking on FaceTime when he asked

“So what are your plans for this weekend?”

“Well, I was hoping to see you if you aren’t too busy for little old me.” She said with a pretend pouty face and he laughed.

“No need to pout baby, I always want to see you. How about you come over and I’ll make you dinner?” He suggested.

“You can cook? I didn’t know you could cook!” She exclaimed.

“I’m no chef but I’m up to scratch,” he said “so what do you say?”

“Sure, you want me to bring anything?” She asked.

“Yes, your appetite.” He told her.

“Good thing I always have that with me.” She chided him, making him laugh again.

That weekend, Jensen had messaged her his address and according to her map, it would take her around fifteen minutes to get there. She stopped at the store and grabbed a bottle of wine she knew he’d like and continued on. As she got closer to his house, she watched as the neighborhoods got nicer and nicer.

“Wow.” She said and double checked her phone to make sure it was taking her to the right place. Sure, he had mentioned he was in the technology business, but he’d never mentioned money, not even in passing. She raised an eyebrow as she turned into a neighborhood that wasn’t named and went down the road her map was taking her. She got to the second to last house on the right and pulled into the driveway, marveling at the house in front of her. It was an all white, brick house with white trim and a natural wooden front door. Suddenly feeling very self conscious and foolish, as if she had pulled up to the wrong house and this was all an elaborate April Fool’s joke, she got out of the car and walked up to the front door and rang the bell. Once Jensen appeared, he was smiling and gave her a hug and a kiss after he opened the door for her.

“Jesus, who lives here?” She asked

“I do.” He told her and glanced at the bottle of wine in her hand “I told you not to bring anything!” He exclaimed, but was nonetheless delighted.

“You do?” She asked as she marveled at the high ceilings and grey walls with white trim “You live here?”

“I pay the mortgage every month, so I would hope so.” He said with a shrug.

“It’s just,” She stammered “wow, really, really nice.”

“Thank you.” He said with a smile “Dinner isn’t quite ready yet, so we can chill that wine and I’ll give you the tour.”

“Sure.” She said with a huge smile. They walked past a set of stairs, through the living room and dining room and into a huge kitchen with a large island in the middle of it.

“Wow,” She said as she looked around, marveling at the granite counter tops, sleek modern appliances and solid hardwood floors. It smelled phenomenal, like an Italian restaurant “wow, this is a HELL of a kitchen.”

“I’m not usually in here much,” he admitted “but when I am, it’s not too bad.”

He got the wine from her hands and she asked

“What did you make again?”

“Chicken tortellini,” He said “with a white wine sauce.”

“YUM,” she said “that sounds amazing!”

He took her through the house, while holding her hand; showing her the gym, his office, the pool and his bedroom.

“What’re these other rooms?” She asked

“Guest rooms,” he said “Jared takes up residence every once in a while.”

“So you guys are best friends huh?” She asked.

“Yep,” Jensen said with a proud smile “we met in college and have been best friends ever since then. He’s kind of like my little brother.”

“Aw,” She said and squeezed Jensen’s hand “that’s sweet.”

Jensen gave her a grin and squeezed her hand back.

“You hungry?” He asked “I’m pretty sure dinner is ready by now.”

They made their way down to the kitchen where they served themselves and Jensen opened the bottle of wine she’d brought, pouring both of them a glass. She took a bite of the food and, much to her surprise, it was delicious. She told him so, which made him smile.

“Thank you,” He said “glad you like it.”

After dinner, they made their way into the living room where they sat and talked, just like they always did. The only difference this time was that he was able to reach out and hold her hand or touch her knee, which she enjoyed. She intertwined her fingers with his, letting her thumb run over the back of his hand.

“You have very small hands,” he commented and she laughed “seriously, you do!”

“Says the guy with bear paws he calls hands!” She exclaimed and he laughed “I’m a little girl, of course my hands are gonna be little!”

“And I’m a big guy.” he commented.

“Which means big gloves.” She shot back and he rolled his eyes.

“That was SO bad!” He said with a shake of his head, in spite of the fact that he was grinning broadly.

“You’re smiling so it’s not that bad.” She reminded him as their fingers laced together again.

“I’m smiling at how bad it was.” He told her as he pulled her close.

“You like it.” She told him as she slid right next to him.

“I SUPPOSE I do.” he said as he cupped her face in his free hand.

“You do,” she told him and grinned “I can tell.”

He nodded, leaned in and kissed her tenderly. She sighed into his mouth as they kissed again and again. She arched into him, pressing her body closer to his. He let his hand roll down her body, where it settled on her hip. He tugged her into his lap and she swung her leg over, straddling him as she placed her hands on his chest.

“You okay?” He asked as he tightly gripped her hips.

“I’m fine,” she practically moaned into his mouth “this is perfect.”

He pulled back and smiled before going back in and kissing her. She slid her hands to his shoulders and then up, where she cupped his face in her hands and she grinned as his beard scratched her palms. His hands slid down to her rear where he gripped her meaty ass.

“Fuck,” he moaned into her mouth “you have the hottest ass.”

“Mh, you mean that handsome?” She asked him.

“Every word.” He said as he gripped her ass again, making her moan into his mouth.

“Fuck, Jensen!” she cried, feeling his half hardened cock swell under her. She ran her fingers through his hair as they rocked against one another.

He pinned her on her back against the couch and kept grinding on her as she wrapped one of her legs around his waist. His lips moved from hers as he kissed down her jaw and to her throat where she let out a whine.

She let out his name in an almost breathy chant as he growled against her skin.

“Jensen please,” she begged “I want you so badly.”

He picked his head up, nodded and kissed her sweetly. Fueled by raw emotion and liquid courage, she quickly took her shirt off and let it fall to the floor, leaving her in a black bra. He grinned as his fingertips gently traced over the swell of her breasts before he attacked her collarbone with kisses. His beard delightfully scratched her skin as she tugged on the hem of his shirt and rid him of the offending article. He pressed his bare torso to hers and nipped her neck, making her cry out as he slipped the straps of her bra down and kissed her shoulders. She locked both of her legs around his waist and ran her hands up and down his strong back as he worked his way back up to her mouth where they heatedly kissed. She quickly took her bra off and set it aside as he moaned against her mouth. He slid his hand down her bare side and traced his fingertips along the waistband of her leggings. He pulled back and looked at her, as if asking for permission.

“You can touch me,” she told him “I want you to.”

He gave her a smile and pushed his hand down the front of her leggings where he found her soaking core waiting for him.

“Fuck sweetheart,” he moaned “all this for me?”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly “all for you.”

He pulled his hand out of her leggings and sat up. He tugged the garment off of her along with her panties and parted her legs. He ducked his head down and licked a thick stripe up her slit, making her whine loudly. He loved her taste and scent; sweet with a little bit of muskiness. His tongue made slow circles around her clit as she let her fingers slide through his thick, dark hair.

“Jensen,” she breathed “oh, fuck Jensen.”

He buried his face in between her legs, his tongue splitting her folds open and lapping over her entrance as she squirmed under him. Her hips rolled and she threw her head back against the pillows, raw pleasure coursing through her system as louder moans fell from her lips. He tightly gripped her thighs and sucked on her hard, making her back arch as she rocked her hips harder into his face.

“Jens, god!” she cried as a tingly sensation rolled up her back and the dam in her belly threatened to break. “I'm gonna, god, god, oh god!” she yelled but he didn't pull away, in fact, he pulled her closer and pushed his tongue inside of her, the strong muscle swirling as his teeth gently scraped over her clit, sending her over the edge. The dam broke as she let out a loud cry, squeezing her eyes shut as wave after wave came over her. Just as she was settling down, Jensen picked his head up, grinning as he licked her arousal from his lips.

“Damn baby,” he said as he kissed his way back up her body and then kissed her lips “you're so damn responsive, you taste like a fucking dream and you look like one when you come.”

“That was fucking intense.” she told him as they kissed.

“I could watch you come for hours.” he told her with a sweet smile as he pulled back.

“That would be a feat,” She told him “I'm not sure I can go that long.”

“Let's find out.” he said and he laid on his side, using his leg to open hers again as he let one hand wrap around her shoulder while the other made its way to her breasts where he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked on the over sensitive bud. She whined and then he switched to the other breast, doing the same thing as his flattened hand made its decent down her body. He swirled his tongue around her nipple as she let her fingernails dig into his shoulder and grip his hair tightly.

“Fuck me,” she begged “please fuck me.”

He didn't respond right away as he let go of her nipple with a light, wet pop. He fingers slid through her silken folds as she moaned, her hips thrusting up to meet his touch.  He easily slid two fingers inside her as she whined , his thumb finding her clit and working it into short, slow circles as his fingers pushed and pulled in and out of her. She threw her head back again as he kissed and sucked on her neck.

“That's it baby,” he murmured against her skin “just like that, fuck, you're doing so well baby.”

“Jensen!” she cried “God, I want you inside me.”

“Let me watch you sweetie,” he said “then I'll fuck you.”

Maybe he hadn't been kidding when he said he could watch her come for hours, she thought. She bit her lip and moaned loudly as he kissed his way up to her lips and he moaned against her mouth, increasing the speed of his hand. Her moans got louder as her orgasm got closer and she rocked her hips to match his motions.

“You gonna come again for me baby?” he asked as he pulled back.

“Yes, yes!” she cried out in a tone that she barely recognized.

“Come,” he told her “come all over my hand baby.”

He hooked his fingers just so inside her and she was seeing stars. She let out a loud cry as her second orgasm crashed over her, making her body shake as he pulled his hand from between her legs and licked his fingers clean.

“God you're wet,” he said “you got another one for me?”

She nodded as he shifted positions, climbing off the couch and scooping her up into his arms. He carried her up the stairs to his room where he pushed the door shut with his foot and then gently laid her in the plush bed. He stripped out of his jeans and boxers before climbing on top of her. She parted her legs to accommodate him as he ran the head of his cock through her soaked folds, making her whine. He slid inside her and she gasped as he filled her, her walls deliciously burning as his thick length stretched her open. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders as he started to move, fucking her slowly and deeply. They kissed and he moaned against her lips.

“Fuck,” he cried “so fucking tight!”

“I want,” she begged “god, I want!”

“What do you want baby?” he asked between kisses “tell me.”

“Bend me over, please!” she cried.

“Roll over for me.” he told her.

She untangled her limbs from around his body and rolled over, arching her back as he growled.

“Showing off that sexy ass for me?” he asked as he gave her a light smack on her left ass cheek and she cried out.

“Fuck!”

She looked over her shoulder and watched as one of his eyebrows shot up.

“You like getting spanked?” he asked and she bit her lip, nodding. “Holy shit.” he said and plunged back into her, gripping her hips hard. He fucked her hard and slow as her moans built up into loud cries. He pushed her chest flat into the bed and then bent over her, his chest to her back.

“You want me to spank you some more pretty girl?” he asked as he bit the shell of her ear and she let out another loud cry.

“Please,” she begged “yes, please spank my ass some more!”

He pulled up and let his hand crack across her behind and she cried out again. He did the same thing to the other cheek and she gushed on his cock. He bit his own lip trying to hold out from drilling into her as he smacked her ass again. A stream of his name and curses fell from her mouth as her orgasm rose.

“I'm gonna, god!” she cried “Oh my god, I'm gonna come!”

Jensen let himself go; his skin smacking into hers as she clawed at the sheets above her head and screamed into the mattress, making him lose it just as she clenched around him for the final time. They stayed that way for a few seconds breathing hard before he pulled out of her and she whined at the loss.

“Come up here,” he told her and made his way between the sheets. She slowly crawled up to him and joined him, curling up into his arms, her head on his chest as her heart hammered. They lay there like that for a long while, catching their breath as their free hands laced together and he kissed the back of her hand. “You okay?” he rasped and she looked up at him, nodding.

“That was amazing.” she said with a sleepy smile.

“That's a happy face if I've ever seen one.” he said with a grin and kissed her.

After a few more minutes of cuddling, Jensen got up, putting his jeans and a fresh pair of boxers on, he then ventured downstairs to fetch the rest of their clothes and some water. When he returned, Allie was laying on her stomach, her arm stretched out over to his side of the bed. She tugged her bra and panties on and then accepted the water from him as he climbed back into bed. They both put their glasses to the side and resumed cuddling, her arm across his hips and their legs tangled together.

The next day, which was Sunday, Allie got together with Natalia and Trish at her apartment complex's pool and told them about her date with Jensen.

“So he had you over to his house?” Natalia asked “Sounds like things are getting serious.”

“We haven't talked about that.” Allie told her as she took a sip of her drink “We're just, I don't know. Seeing each other?”

“Well, if you don't ask him, you'll never know.” Trish said as she lathered more suntan lotion on to her legs.

“I mean I guess I should, but I don't know.” Allie said

“Look, if you're happy with how things are going, maybe you don't need a label, you know what I mean?” Natalia said.

“But I WANT the label,” Allie insisted “I have to know right? I mean is he my boyfriend or a guy I go on dates with and have mind blowing sex with?” Natalia nearly spit out her drink and asked

“I'm sorry, did you say mind blowing SEX?”

“She did!” Trish insisted “I heard it!”

“Mind blowing huh?” Natalia asked as Allie's cheeks flushed a deep crimson color and nodded.

“Yes,” she said “fucking mind blowing.”

“Yeah, I'd lock that shit DOWN if I were you.” Natalia said.

That night, Allie paced in her apartment, should she have the “where is this going?” conversation with him? She bit her lip as she changed into a simple summer dress and then headed over to Jensen's house.

When she arrived, Allie was greeted by Jensen, who wrapped her into his arms and kissed her deeply.

“Missed you today.” he said as he affectionately kissed her forehead.

“Sounds like a boyfriend to me.” she thought as she crossed the threshold and he closed the door behind her.

“Pizza sound okay to you?” Jensen asked as they walked into the living room.

“Pizza sounds phenomenal.” she told him.

“Okay, I'll order us some.” he said as he pulled his phone out.

“Wait, before you do that,” she said “I want to talk to you for a second.”

He looked up from his phone and cocked his head to the side.

“Everything okay?” he asked, looking concerned.

“No, I mean, everything IS fine, great actually.” she said “I just,” she paused, twisting her hands in her lap “I don't know how to word this exactly, so I'm just gonna say it.”

“Okay.” Jensen said, still looking concerned.

“It's just that, I like you. Like, really like you.” she told him with a smile “And I just want to know, like, where is this going?”

Jensen's throat went dry, he had a feeling this conversation was coming. He swallowed as best as he could and then sat down.

“I'm sorry,” she apologized “I didn't make you mad did I?”

“No,” he said as he shook his head “come sit.” he said and motioned for her to sit by him. She did and he said “I'm not sure how to say this either, but I'll be honest with you. That's okay right?”

“Absolutely.” she told him.

“I'm not ready for a commitment.” he told her.      

Allie’s heart sank. She sighed and said

“I’m not asking for hearts and rainbows every day, I just need to know that I’m the only one you’re seeing.”

He nodded

“Yes, you are the only one,” he said “I’m just not sure if I’m ready for the boyfriend and girlfriend thing is all.”

“Can I ask why?” She asked him.

He wrung his hands and took a deep breath

“I was in a relationship,” he started “for six years and when that ended it was really hard on me. I’m finally in a place where I feel I could be someone’s boyfriend again, I’m just not one hundred percent sure, and I want to be before I risk hurting you.”

As much as his words stung, Allie could appreciate them, at least he was not leading her on.

“Okay,” She said “well that feels like a punch in the gut, but I appreciate your honesty.”

“Is that something you can work around?” He asked “At least for now?”

Allie felt torn, potentially give up this amazing man or just go with it and see it through?

“Is it fair to say that I don’t know?” She asked him.

He nodded.

“It is,” he said “I can’t blame you or be angry for you not being sure.”

“I’m willing to try,” she told him “I’m not sure how it’s gonna work, but I’ll try it.”

He gave her a wry smile and said

“I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever get there,” and reached for her hand, which she gave him “but if and when I do, I’d want it to be with you.”

She smiled and steeled away how she really felt. That raw and powerful emotion she felt for him would have to be put in the back of her mind behind a hard, iron door. She slowly shoved it where it belonged as he leaned in and kissed her. His lips were so warm and plush, his arms so strong and secure, she knew that even if the heartbreak was coming would come, she could at least be content for now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hope you guys liked that!!! As always, you kind feedback is so appreciated. All of my tag lists and boxes are open so if you want to to chat, say hi or get on any of the lists, please let me know. Hope all of you are having a good week and I’ll see you for the next chapter!!

​​​The Squad:

@waywardbaby​​​​​​​​​​ @waywardnerd67​​​​​​​​​​ @familybusinesswritingbro​​​​​​​​​​ @ain-t-bovvered​​​​​​​​​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​​​​​​​​ @unholyqu33n​​​​​​​​​​ @dacleverfox​​​​​​​​​​ @emoryhemsworth​​​​​​​​​​ @bobasheebaby​​​​​​​​​ @myinconnelly1​​​​​​​​​​ @mogaruke​​​​​​​​​​ @imma-winchester-addict​​​​​​​​​​​ @purpleskiesandcherrypies​​​​​​​​​​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​​​​​​​​​​ @animerose96​​​​​​​​​​​  @roonyxx​​​​​​​​​​​ @snffbeebee​​​​​​​​​​​ @ezilyamuzed​​​​​​​​​​​ @srsllydunnodoncare​​​​​​​​​​​ @latetothewinchesterparty​​​​​​​​​​​ @emilyshurley​​​​​​​​​​​ @atc74​​​​​​​​​​​ @midnightsilverafterdark​​​​​​​​​​​ @adoptdontshoppets​​​​​​​​​​​ @biawol​​​​​​​​​​​  @spaceystacey123​​​​​​​​​​​ @bella-ca​​​​​​​​​​​ @clo-heda​​​​​​​​​​​ @closetspngirl​​​​​​​​​​​ @thekatherinewinchester​​​​​​​​​​​ @maddiepants​​​​​​​​​​​ @idreamofplaid​​​​​​​​​​ @love-those-boys-in-flannel​​​​​​​ @flamencodiva​​​​​​​​​ @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog​​​​​​​ @sandlee44​​​​​​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​​​​ @rainbowsinthestorm @deans-baby-momma​​​​ @algud​​​ @maui137​ @drakelover78​ @keymology

Dean/ Jensen:

@spnbaby-67​​ @akshi8278​​ @deanscarlett​​​​​ 

[fairest]

November 5, 2019

I keep thinking about the section in David Reif’s introduction to Sontag’s journals that she didn’t write in her journals when things were going well so we don’t know what her going well process looked like. 

I am going to go back and add to a few paragraphs but I’m not going to do any checks, everything will be undersupervised.

At the lunch hour women travel in groups of more than two and men are in a buddy system or alone. Leopard print is at the head and on the toe. 

I am 42 years old and I don’t care for the music of Frank Ocean. 

The internet plays well. 

The web loading here is slow.

For a long time I used to get mad at people who used the word stream of consciousness. 

People that I’ve never met have followed me around before. 

I asked the couple or the business partners if they could make room for my tray. 

Read half of the article on different types of misogyny, found myself rooting for the misogyny yet to come, and scared that the strands of lettuce were going to stick to the bottom of my tongue. 

Nobody cares about you when you’re embarrassing. 

Last week I was thinking about people who start essays with what I am interested in here is. 

I can see my reflection in the computer screen and my fingers look like they are the waiter coming with the check. 

We were in the Meridian Mall all the way at the end of the JCPenny when I walked into the Hurricane Simulator and the girls shot videos. 

I was thinking today crossing Wacker that the reason people hate socialism is all those pictures of Russia are so drab and gray, who wants that. When people say “look what happened in Russia” they really mean “look at what those pictures of Russia look like.” There’s a sign on the door. 

A lot of the time when I am out in the world I think to myself “the built environment” without understanding what that means.

One of the things I look forward to most during the day is how much my right index finger is going to hurt and in what way.

Everytime we walk into the long-term care facility my mother grabs a visitor’s badge and I will never grab a visitor’s badge they would have to kill me before I would wear a visitor’s badge at the LTC facility. 

Last week I read a lot of Liveblog and wrote in my Daily Planner which I don’t use to plan my day but has become more like a diary and always feels like a duty feels like work. 

I refuse to contact anyone and tell them what they did wrong. 

I’ve been trying to listen to music on the Bandcamp app and then listen to music on the Spotify app, the same song, and see if I can tell the difference. 

I would like to find the spot down by NYU where Megan Boyle parked on her way to Marie Calloway’s reading and just stand in the spot, see if I feel any different. 

I bought an iPad this morning that will be delivered on Thursday. Promised David I would download the FinalDraft mobile app so we could work on our 9/11 script. 

Went to the NEA web site today but I missed the deadline. It was about 6 months ago. When you miss a deadline by 6 months you have to wonder if you’re actually way early for next year. 

Never started keeping the right kind of calendar for being a writer. I’m in the office today but I’m going to stay home tomorrow. This morning I got the right seat on the plane and we never took off. 

Today I thought about re-reading Noah Cicero’s novel about the couple or the friends during the Iraq war. I had a good idea for Gates of Eden, for the framing device, I got it from reading Baxter’s Munich Airport on the train this morning. 

I wrote in my pink notebook that a good title for Gates of Eden would be Halfway up this Street.

Just remembered that I left a lemon herbal tea in the machine, going to go and get it. Someone just showed up with an Italian dressing on their salad.

I’m old enough to just skip over the new Frank Ocean track. I don’t need to try again, see if this time I feel different.

I worked on the Rebecca story this morning or maybe it will be called Another Candy. I moved sections of the story down to an area I call “the dump” -- there are a lot of dumps in my files. When I was on the train I had ideas for Gates of Eden which I am calling Drafted.

After reading a few best sellers & then 200 pages of Henry James I am settling into a better routine of the idea of what I might be reading. It’s been almost two months since I published the novel and I am finally at a place where I can think about writing again. But what does that even mean. It’s the only thing I’m thinking about. Sometimes now I feel like I am with the machine in the TV show Lost. The pressure is real.

What I mean is, clearing a space for the kind of reading that will support Gates of Eden/Drafted/Halfway Up This Street. Absolutely sick that I finished What it Takes because now that it’s over I don’t want to write another thing like that again. I think there is a song ‘Now That it’s Over” by Ryan Adams, I think I was thinking about him watching Taylor Swift’s Tiny Desk concert this morning. I was crying a lot through the Taylor Swift concert and it gave me a headache the way my sister said she got a headache from laughing at me when I was in the Hurricane Simulator. 

[letstiktalk]

Drivers License Tiktok

HELLO, and welcome to the new year everybody! Does this year feel any different?!? NO!! WELL why is that?!? Because white supremacist have ALREADY stormed the capitol??:DDDDD and what did Gen Z do in response???? Well obviously we made a bunch of funny tiktoks to cope with the fact our government is failing and we can’t REALLY do much about it <3 SO ya I will be getting into that but I also need to mention a new song has taken tiktok over COMPLETELY. There is just A LOT to unpack today so for that reason there will be no tiktok terminology in this blog ;( I know, I know its a big loss but don’t worry it will be back next month.

Anyways, lets get into this whole Drivers License tiktok situation. Now I bet you are thinking “Jess I got my license … I don’t need this”. And you would be right to have that opinion, HOWEVER, this is not about the people that give you hacks on how to get your drivers license(although that side of tiktok does exist and they are surprisingly helpful), it’s about the new song that Olivia Rodrigo(a 17 year old girl and star of High School Musical the Musical the Series aka HMTMTS) dropped last week. I would Highly recommend you listen to it.

Here it is all linked for everyone's convenience 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmDBbnmKpqQ

SO FOR STARTERS girly is a DISNEY STAR and she straight up dropped the F bomb... which like period go off but like I didn't even know that was ALLOWED for Disney stars. Other than that Olivia Rodrigo is 17... LIKE WHAT... people on tiktok are comparing her to Taylor Swift and Lorde. Taylor Swift even commented on Olivia’s post saying she was proud of her for topping the charts. OH WHICH BY THE WAY she has been at the very top of the iTunes charts since the song came out. She has beat Ariana Grande’s “Thank you Next” for biggest single day streams of a song by a female artist. She beat ARIANA GRANDE... I’m not very into pop music but I must say that is a big achievement because “Thank you Next” has been big for quite some time. Not to mention this is only Olivia’s second song released(The first song she released was called “All I want” and she wrote it for HMTMTS), so it’s safe to say we can expect big things form her. 

Now you may be thinking “Jess this is nothing new... a good song takes over tiktok every week”... well yes but this one is different because people aren't only talking about the song but also who the song is about.(now if you are going to act like teen drama isn't interesting then I guess skip this paragraph lol) Basically Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett play love interests in HMTMTS and usually I am against speculating relationships between the cast members because it ruins friendships and all that jazz, but this this is just too much to ignore. So first things first Joshua Bassett is also a songwriter, and he wrote a song that people think was about Olivia since he posted Instagram stories singing it when they were in the middle of shooting for their show. The song was basically about how he would find a way to date this unavailable girl and at the time Olivia was dating her former costar from another Disney show, Ethan Wacker(which people speculated that the song could have been about Ethan but then he responded to it by saying “it’s not about me I treated her well” LMAOOOOO). Then a short time after Olivia and Ethan broke things off, Olivia posted a clip of a love song on her insta story called “I like you so much it’s kinda gross” about a boy who had brown hair, brown eyes and was her best friend yada yada, which people realized was definitely about Joshua because she described him as her “guy best friend” in many interviews, and he fit the description in the song perfectly. Then Olivia posted a video where she talked about how her and Joshua would drive around together a lot and how Joshua was helping her get her drivers license(which basically just proved completely that the song was about him). THE final piece of this puzzle is that recently Joshua had started dating Sabrina Carpenter who is the star of a show called “girl meets world”(a spin off of “Boy Meets World”) She is 21 years old and has Blonde hair.... Olivia Rodrigo is 17... are we seeing the connection here... cause like remember in the song... when she said... “your probably with that blonde girl”... and “she’s so much older than me”.... so um ya not so subtle there. ANYWAYS... I think this is all fine and dandy but honestly the drama here does not seem genuine. This seems like such a big publicity stunt  for the show especially because Joshua Bassett posted the song on his story and said he was proud of Olivia AND also they are both currently shooting another season of HSMTMTS so like... if this was real I don’t think this song would have came out. They can’t ACTUALLY allow bad blood between the two main love interests of the show. SO ya if you got through this ~CHONKAY~ paragraph then you get extra coolguy points AND you get to be in the loop for one of the big love scandals of my generation(you can say this is like the Salena and Justin of Gen Z).

SO with that being said here are some tiktoks from Drivers License tiktok

https://www.tiktok.com/@nickolas_ray/video/6916957022512532742?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@graysworld/video/6916678935312862470?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@hehehe.44/video/6916718955667180805?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@arianapodcast/video/6916935174391336197?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@gabesco/video/6916687885177588997?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@tiktokdailyseries/video/6916692432167963910?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@_juliannnabartolom_/video/6916070775309044998?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@huttonalanna/video/6916740435943623941?lang=eno 

So now moving onto a more serious topic  ✨ the capitol riots ✨. I HONESTLY think that this really pushed everyone over the edge... like did we not all say Jumanji when 2021 hit???WHAT ARE WE MISSING HERE? This was just not the way to start the year, and clearly everyone on tiktok is over it as well. Since this occurrence I have realized two groups have formed on the app: the informers, and the jokers. EACH IS ESSENTIAL to the wellbeing of everyone because the informers are there to bum us out, tell us the facts and make us realize how much we want to move to Canada, WHILE the Jokers are also gonna make us want to move to Canada but they deliver THEIR info with some sparkle so we can cope :D

Don't get me wrong there is also a small population of Trump supporters on tiktok that are defending the riots, but it doesn’t take too long for the leftist on the app to debunk their info and make them delete their comments, posts, ect. 

So with that being said these are some videos that show how tiktok is dealing with this whole mess.(I put them into categories)

These are the ones that are making fun of congress for not passing stricter laws..(they say things like oh well turn off the lights and crouch in a corner luv they will prolly pass by ur room ;D)

https://www.tiktok.com/@gadonkoze/video/6914874384956132614?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@angelaholmessss/video/6914837439588617478?lang=en

These are the ones that are basically making fun of the way the capitol was protected(they are videos of who could have protected the capitol better)

https://www.tiktok.com/@ji_jio2/video/6915048910016859398?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@joseph.muhl/video/6914839711735368965?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@revildo/video/6915464202643590405?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@sylviasloss4/video/6915928007379045637?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@will.manchester22/video/6915590435939355909?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@gorillagripk00ch/video/6916033116616396038?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@gorillagripjuulpod/video/6916241462950694150?lang=en

These are just random joke videos about the event

https://www.tiktok.com/@christiaan.long/video/6914779075533933830?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@horse.shoe.trash/video/6914764321390202118?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@satansperiod/video/6914746236151041286?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@sophat69/video/6914742515623152901?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@pritaykitayy/video/6914793110195293446?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@ienjoyanalsex/video/6915167310302973190?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@deannyberg/video/6914837106976148742?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@emily.jpg/video/6914812548026043654?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@svgar.whxre/video/6914783347688475909?lang=en

These are videos where the people could have spoken any language but decided to speak F A C T S

https://www.tiktok.com/@sewpheeyuh/video/6914741277644868869?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@sewpheeyuh/video/6914811268192931078?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@bmoo9472/video/6907784032344427782?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@marismab/video/6915154344761494789?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alluringskull/video/6915185330215734534?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@joshhelfgott/video/6915131644353498374?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@cbsnews/video/6915143783692733701?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@avi.greene/video/6914803519962877190?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@joshhelfgott/video/6914769291200023814?lang=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@alluringskull/video/6914794863879851270?lang=en

OK SO that’s all I have for today. I’m sorry there wasn’t much variety but these are basically the only two things that have been running tiktok recently. 

Until next month :) where future me will hopefully not want to exit this country. 

PHOTO CREDS https://www.albumoftheyear.org/album/322966-olivia-rodrigo-drivers-license.php

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-55582166

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I am genuinely concerned that comic book youtubers are going to create a GamerGate situation where there are extremists who poison the mass perception of people who criticise comic books or certain decisions in general.

 Like I have genuine problems with Amadeus Cho and Jane Foster being Hulk and Thor and I think Riri Williams and Miles Morales are bad characters (the latter being especially saddening because, unlike Riri, he had a strong initial concept powering him). I think Sam as Captain America was creatively problematic and that Marvel have been pulling the replacement hero thing for social/political reasons (and probably not sincere ones at that) as opposed to genuine creative ones. Similarly I think the America book is a lame super hero comic book and Gabby Rivera isn’t a strong super hero comic book writer. Similarly I think Marvel’s modern editors and assistant editors really do tend to suck at their jobs right now.

 But my rationales for all of those things honestly don’t have much crossover with certain Youtube comic book commentators (I’m sure you’ve all seen the kind) and I actually disagree and believe in a lot of other types of characters and directions cut from the same kinds of cloths as those above examples.

 I think Ice Man being gay made a certain amount of sense with his history and if you did have to pick a classical character to reveal as in the closet he was one of the best choices for it. We are in a position where Bobby could legitimately be given a strong romantic storyline and an iconic (for him, not necessarily within Marvel as a whole) love interest. I mean before Bendis had Jean out Bobby who honestly knew or cared who Bobby’s (comic book, not movie) love interests were? Hardly anybody aside from hardcore X-Men fans and most of them would argue Polaris was really the big one for Bobby. But at the same time most of them shipped Polaris with Havok anyway so what did that matter?

  I’ve said numerous times before Kamala Khan is the best new superhero character to come out of Marvel in the last 20 years. My problems with her series stem from the decompression alongside the fact that I don’t think her villain pool has been managed as well as it needs to be to enable her to last long term.

 Carol becoming Captain Marvel is something I find profoundly organic and logical, a brilliant stroke of character development that makes use of an iconic title by giving it to an iconic character who truly has claim to it. Look to me Carol’s outfit is always going to be the Ms Marvel outfit she wore for decades but at the same time to me Carol’s codename will always be Warbird, not Ms Marvel or Captain Marvel. I’m just from that generation.

 I think the general idea of temporarily having a black person become Captain America is interesting and understand the logic of making it Sam but at the same time I think the book never fulfilled it’s potential and ultimately Issiah Bradely or even Patriot would’ve been a much more interesting choice. But at the end of the day I cannot accept the creative bankruptcy of replacing Steve for the THIRD time and doing it the SECOND time in less than 10 years.

 I like Jane Foster’s Thor outfit, there are moments and aspects to her stories I find interesting but the way the series went about it overly denigrated the real Thor (and yes I will call him the real Thor, it is literally his name and he is supposed to be the actual figure from Norse mythology). I mean he was literally called out as ‘unworthy’ and the reason for his unworthiness made no sense at all. He realizes the Gods are assholes so he loses his worthiness. That isn’t how the hammer works, it’s just a binary ‘you are worthy or you are not’. Conviction in your personal beliefs doesn’t matter or else countless bad guys would be able to lift the hammer too. Additionally there were times where he narrative divulged into cheap, shallow in-universe attempts to ‘comment’ on the backlash against the concept. The Absorbing Man was at least somewhat exaggerating the complaints over a female Thor and at least dabbling in strawman arguments whilst Titania’s solidarity with Foster because she was stepping into the role of a man was utter out of character nonsense considering Titania’s arch nemesis is SHE Hulk. Jane consequently knocking out someone who’d surrendered was also ill considered. And I also cannot get over how we’ve been here before. Beta Ray Bill and Thunderstrike are testament to that. Once again creative bankruptcy.

 I’ve spoken countless times before how I think Miles had a good concept and still has potential but he’s been mismanaged and currently sucks shit as a character and how Marvel and certain fans and certain media outlets building him up as the best thing since sliced bread (or at least as great as Peter Parker) is profoundly unearned.

 I think the quality of editing at Marvel has clearly gone down hill but unless there really is some weird ass super Secret Empire conspiracy wherein Marvel went hardcore into hiring people because of their gender regardless of their qualifications, I don’t think the reason for that decline in quality is due to some (but far from all) of the editors and assistant editors being women. Frankly Steve Wacker is/was a major editorial player for awhile and his only legitimate qualification for being a Spider-Man editor was he could get the product on the shelves on time. The editing present in that product and their overall quality was shit 99% of the time. The guy lacked sufficient knowledge, passion or understanding of the character to really edit Spider-Man properly. This is a guy who was an amateur stand up comedian before entering comic books and has to my knowledge zero writing experience so why the fuck he was qualified to edit anything is beyond me. Maybe the new slew of editors and assistant editors are the same bunch of unqualified morons but I don’t think that’s got much to do with their sex or gender. After all Ann Nocenti was a solid X-Men editor and Molly Lazer edited Spider-Girl which was obviously a brilliant book. And shit Jeanette Kahn was President and EIC of DC comics for over 20 years and MOST of the stuff under her tenure was baller as shit. John Byrne Superman. Frank Miller Batman. Perez Wonder Woman. Wolfman Titans. DeMatteis/Giffin JLI. Kyle Rayner Green Lantern. Vertigo. Milestone. Watchmen. Frankly she oversaw what was maybe the single best EIC tenure for DC EVER in terms of quality.

  I gave up reading Coates’ BP run because I found it dull but I think T’Challa SHOULD have a book along with Blade, Luke Cage, Shang Chi and Jessica Jones.

I think the America Chaves series was problematic as a superhero story but the times where it does focus on the normal life stuff are generally good.

I was very impressed by Spider-Gwen when she debuted and looked forward to her ongoing, even defended her debut issue until I realized the critics were ont he money and it sucked and continues to suck to this day. It’s a profoundly shallow book but it could have been great and I supported it initially hoping it would be great.

I felt the Chelsea Cain Mockingbird series had moments of poor research, mischaracterisation and disingenuousness. I am specifically talking about how in issue #3 (I think) Cain uses Bobbi as a mouthpiece to criticise the lack of female representation within superhero comics. Okay cool. But she did it by essentially pretending that there never were any in the Marvel universe, that they got no respect in-universe and that Bobbi herself was at most a teenager growing up inspired by those male heroes whom she could never be like because she was male. Except there were female heroes, they did get in-universe respect (maybe not as much as was deserved but it wasn’t like people forgot they existed) and Bobbi is clearly too old to have grown up with any of the heroes other than the WWII guys like the Invaders. 

Similarly her retconning of the Phantom Rider thing in her final issue fixed one problem but did so utterly illogically whilst opening up multiple other problems. Look I’d also retcon the Hell out of Phantom Rider gaslighting and raping Mockingbird if given the chance I hate that plotline. But Cain retconned it by just having Mockingbird say that the stuff we have clear on the page evidence of didn’t actually happen. She was saying the colour blue is the colour red and always had been but it wasn’t. And Cain’s new spin on that Phantom Rider thing essentially threw Hawkeye under the bus by making him profoundly insecure and an asshole, because he’d rather believe his wife was raped rather than she cheated on him. Not to mention if Cain’s story is to be believed Mockingbird let the man she was sleeping with die for exactly no reason. There were other times during Cain’s run where I felt she was mischaracterizing some people or else was being too on the nose about stuff. 

But there were other times I thought the series was really funny, really action packed, i generally loved the pacing and I felt when it did cut more realistic (like the first issue when Bobbi is having a health check up) or in issue #3 when it was discussing the psychology of a sixth grade girl (even though said girl’s story had insufficient resolution, like did she go to jail or what?) it was incredibly refreshing. Truth be told a lot of the stuff in that series writing wise becomes easier to understand when you realize it’s partially a zany comedy and not really taking itself too seriously nor is it asking you to do the same, which is starkly different to say Spider-Gwen’s approach wherein it is playing stuff seriously but there is arbitrarily zany shit thrown in for the sake of it.

 I think Laura becoming Logan’s successor makes sense but it doesn’t mean it’s okay to just axe off Logan because he’s broken. FIX him and then down the line replace him. Laura’s book as is frankly just...an okay X-23 book with a new costume. I never cared for Laura outside of X-Men Evolution or the Logan movie (where she was more endearing) anyway.

 I didn’t agree with the female exclusive screenings of the Wonder Woman film but I also felt Zeus’s involvement in her origin was an unacceptable compromising of the specific feminist ideas and messages Wonder Woman was supposed to represent. I felt the same way about Azzarello’s run on the character which is where the Zeus origin came from and was happy Greg Rucka tried to fix that in his 2016 run.

 I’ve said before a poc actor playing Peter Parker is fine and dandy in my book and I was very open to Zendaya possibly playing Mary Jane (until I saw the movie...ugh...). My only concerns were in a significant way having the characters change to reflect the realities of them now being poc.

 I’ve suggested some basic ideas on how to maybe get more representation in Marvel and DC, including for queer, Trans and mentally ill characters and as I’ve seen it I’ve called shit out I found to be racist, sexist, homophobic, etc, e.g. I was disgusted by Civil War II killing off Rhodey and called out the way Cindy Moon was initially handled by Slott. And my frequent lambasting of MJ’s depiction under Slott (especially in Superior #2) should I hope by this point go without saying.

 So yeah my views don’t line up with those of Diversity and Comics but nor do they line up with those of ComicsAlliance and their hordes either. But because of people like the former people like the latter are going to broadbrush label and demonize people like me. People who might SEEM like we agree with guys like D&C but actually we’re coming at it from a very different angle and we don’t actually agree with their rationales 99% of the time.

 But in the times we live in right now nuance is apparently as dead as Batman’s parents.

 Frankly as I get older I guess I see myself socially/politically speaking being more of a moderate when it comes to comic books...and right now that feels like a profoundly lonely place to be.

[lorumipsum-03]

Storybook Assassin-Short Story 1

I let out a deep breath and stare up at my latest adversary. We have been in conflict since early yesterday morning and the battle is showing no signs of ending soon, if ever. I take a step back and wonder, how much stuff can possibly fit in one closet? It’s not even a big closet. I set the box of books I had been moving and check the time: 9:02. I don’t need to be at work until ten, so I (regrettably) still have some time left to clean. Once again I plunge into the jungle that is my closet, looking for the treasure that is The Adventures of Weed Wacker and Binary. Volume 4. 1985. I tug out another beat up looking box labeled Misty’s princess stuff. Misty is my sister, she’s 8 years old and a pain in the butt. I move to set the box down on my bed, but before I can put it there, the bottom gives out. Knickknacks and toys from two years ago spill out all over my already crowded floor. I scramble to clean them up, but don’t really get far. You know when you go to clean out your clothes and sort of end up wearing them all? That’s pretty much what happened to me. So, instead of putting them back in the box I end up wearing a crown, veil, weird little princess cone hat, and an elegant red king’s robe. That’s when I notice the wand. It’s about a foot in length and made of a translucent, glittery, purple material, that I assume is plastic. It has been taken out of its packaging, but unlike all of the other toys in the box it is not battered or broken. I think nothing of it and pick up the wand, cold to the touch. I lean back in my chair, and jokingly point the wand at nothing, and give a half-hearted “Bippity-Boppity-Boo.” To my complete surprise a swirling blue portal appears on my wall. I let out a very undignified yelp and drop the wand, which lands on my foot before falling to the floor. That’s way too heavy to be plastic. Now, to answer the question, what’s inside that portal? I have no idea what to expect, so I grab a bag that I normally bring when I go camping with my family. Inside it I have toilet paper, duct tape, two bottles of water, a compass, Swiss army knife and a notebook with some crayon pencils. As an afterthought I grab my phone, I probably won’t get service, but one can always hope. When I slip my phone in to the front pocket of my shorts I get a glimpse of the time: 9:40 AM. Shoot, I’m going to be late for work if I go exploring. Should I go? I know I have a couple vacation days left, but I don’t know If I’ll make it back through the portal. Then again… there’s also a portal to another freaking dimension. Aw, screw it. I grab my phone to call in and ask for today off. I dial the number, it rings twice before cutting off, the ring replaced by a voice. “Jane Black, Rainy Day Comics, how can I help you?” “Jane, it’s Clara, I need to use one of my vacation days.” “’mkay, may I ask why?” “Found a wand while cleaning, made a portal, gonna find out where it goes.” “All right, I’ll buy it. Bring back something cool to show me.” The dial tone sounds and I slip my phone back into my pocket. All right, I guess I’m doing this. I take a deep breath (in case I end up underwater) close my eyes, and step through the swirling blue circle. Oh boy. I step out into a peaceful, sunlit forest. It’s warm and bright, bluebirds and cardinals chirp in the branches, and the grass is soft under my feet. You’re kidding me. In my excitement I forgot my shoes. I spin around to run back into the portal and grab them, but the portal is gone. I pause to bang my head against a tree for a moment before holding the not-plastic wand in front of me and shouting the incantation that brought me here. “Bippity-Boppity-Boo!” Nothing happens. I try again, nothing. I slump down, and glare at the wand for a bit before pushing myself up and heading south. I tuck the wand in my back pocket, seeing as it’s not doing me any good right now, and resign myself to a long walk to the next town. I don’t get far. About five minutes into my quest for civilization I run into two of natures most feared and hated creatures: cops.  As soon as I see them, I freeze and step on a conveniently placed stick. Snap. The cops take that moment to notice me. As they turn to face me I notice they both have translucent wands with black handles that look like they fade to red and patches on their chests that read Magic Patrol in a flowy script. I quickly turn to face them straight on, trying to hide my wand, which I’m probably not allowed to have. If I can hide my wand from them and if I can convince them to take me to the nearest town and if they don’t put me in jail, maybe I have a shot of finding out how to get home. If I can get home. “Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there,” I say. They both raise their right eyebrow simultaneously. Dang, I wish I could raise one eyebrow at a time. “I appear to be lost,” I continue, “could you two point me to the nearest town?” They don’t answer, instead they turn toward each other, and one of them takes out a little glass tablet. One of them taps it and a hologram pops up. A shining blue map of the forest with two silver blips for the cops, and one red blip, that I gather must be me. That’s probably not good. “Miss-” one of the cops begins before the other one cuts him off. “Look here lady, you’re under arrest,” he barks in a loud gravelly voice. Before I can react, the calm cop- the one who spoke first, is behind me and my wand is in her hand. Then the loud cop takes the tablet and scans the wand first, then me. He turns to his assistant and growls “this is the wand we’re looking for. The girl isn’t from here, she’s of no consequence.” And with that, they run off, jump into their car, and leave. Now, unless I can get that wand back, I might be stuck in this weird fairy-tale land forever.  

I give up. I’ve been walking for about five hours, and it’s dark. I think time works differently here, but that’s not really surprising, given I’m in an alternate dimension. My feet hurt, I’m sweaty, I drank one of my bottles of water, and still no sign of a settlement of any kind. I sink to the ground against a ridiculously large tree, whose roots make a pretty comfortable nook. I’m glad it’s warm, because I don’t have a blanket. I tuck my bag under my head and put the Swiss army knife next to me, just in case. I can see slivers of the sky through the leaves, and it’s filled with stars. That’s not something you can see at home. I fall asleep with the tree guarding me, the stars twinkling, and the crickets singing.

I wake up to the sound of twigs snapping, and the soft sound of breathing. Breathing that is not mine. My eyes shoot open, and I find myself looking into a pair of violently green eyes, about six inches from my face. I scream and kick the green-eyed intruder in the gut. He flies backward and ends up sprawled on the grass, I jump up and grab my Swiss army knife. “Who are you?” My voice comes out creaky and riddled with sleep, not as threatening as I’d like. Green-eyes scrambles backwards into the tree opposite mine and puts up his hands. Now that he’s further away and I can get a better look at him, I realize he looks familiar, but I’m not sure where I’ve seen him before. He’s dressed in creamy white shirt with golden epaulettes and buttons, and red pants with shiny black riding boots. His hair is black and looks like it was smoothed back earlier, but now it’s ruffled up from the wind. Then it hits me. “Prince Charming?” He sets his hands down and nods. I shove my less-than-ideal weapon in my pocket and plop to the ground. I just kicked Prince Charming, the Prince Charming in the stomach. If I wasn’t in trouble then, I certainly am now. Oh, well. I’ll try to make the best of it. “Think you’d mind giving me a ride to the nearest town? To my surprise, he doesn’t. He stands up, and offers me his hand before realizing I had already got to my feet. I introduce myself and he introduces himself. Prince Chad Charming LII, he says he’s not that far from town and would be happy to give me a ride. I gratefully accept and off we go to find his horse.   It’s a pure white stallion with beauty uncommon in a horse, and I honestly don’t know what else I expected. We climb on, him in front with the reins, me in back clinging to the saddle for dear life. It takes us the better part of an hour to get to town and when we do, it’s a picture-perfect storybook village. Although, at second glance, it doesn’t look quite so picture-perfect any more. I can see handmade patches on almost every roof, and a good portion of the houses look like they’re about to fall over. The butcher is arguing with an old lady over a scrap of meat while everyone else looks around hollow-eyed and hungry. This whole trip has just been one giant train-wreck. That makes this the perfect time to start an awkward conversation. “So… What’s a prince doing gallivanting around in the woods, miles from his own kingdom?” For a second I think he’s not going to answer, but then he squints, like the reason is embarrassing, and starts talking. “Well, Princess Amethyst is hosting a ball tonight, to celebrate the finding of her wand, and me and my family were invited. We normally don’t like to have anything to do with the Amethyst’s, but finding her wand is a big thing, so my parents think we should be there. And, well, I didn’t have a date. So I went off into the forest to look for one, because my family has had luck with finding damsels in distress in the woods before, and I thought if I could find one, I’d get a date to the ball.” The wand? Could that be the one those cops took from me? “Why is finding her wand such a big deal?” I say, carefully steering the topic away from finding a date for the celebration.  The prince looks a little put-out, like he thinks I would offer to be his date. No. “Well, in magical families, it’s a tradition for the firstborn to get a wand, or a spell book, or something like that when they turn sixteen. The princess’s wand, which had been her great-grandmother’s, was put on display in a museum. It would remain there until she came of age and claimed the wand. But, about three years ago, the wand vanished. Just, gone. Like it had never been there. They reviewed all the security footage and found nothing. We were all resigned to its loss until yesterday night when, the royal guard caught its energy signature about ten miles north of here. Now the princess is eighteen, and ready to claim her wand, even though some may not wish it.” I hmm softly under my breath, if there was a way to get home I may have just found it. “Why wouldn’t some people want her to get her wand?” I ask. “She doesn’t seem so bad.” At this the prince whips his head back and gets this weird look in his face. “You’re not from around here, are you?” I shake my head and mutter something about being from a kingdom across the sea. The prince sighs and starts to explain. “The Amethyst family has always been a little… harsh. They let their country fall into poverty as they grow richer and richer, there’s never enough food to go around, and they can throw you into jail for the smallest reasons. The princess is the worst of them all, even without a wand, and with the king and queen getting old…” he trails off. “The whole country is worried about what she’ll do. It just doesn’t seem right to stand around and do nothing, but my kingdom has bigger worries.” He sounds sad, I can see why. It’s a pretty bad situation the Amethyst kingdom has got itself in. That’s when I get an idea. Time to play hero. “I assume the wand will be present at the ball?” “Yes.” I crack a small smile, this could be my ticket home. “Do you still need a date to the ball?”

I grimace, this was a bad idea. This was not worth it, I wish I was still in the woods. I have just walked through the doors of the Amethyst castle, in a smooth, bright blue dress. The prince is next to me, and his parents are right behind.   They were overjoyed see their son had brought me back, and immediately stuffed me into a bath, did up my hair, and jammed me into the dress. With high heels. Though I must admit, I do look pretty dang good, blue works well on me. I look around, hoping the wand is in plain sight, unfortunately, I can’t see it. The prince, luckily hasn’t quite figured out what my plan is. I don’t know if he’ll be mad or not, but his parents certainly would. This is so illegal. My plan is simple, find the wand, get the wand, kick the princesses butt, and get home. Easy. I keep looking around trying to catch a view of the princess or the wand. After circling around the ballroom twice I finally realize, I don’t know what the princess looks like. I am the best at planning, I blatantly lie to myself. I turn to the prince and ask him what the princess looks like. “She’s right over there.” He says and points at a girl a little taller than me, with long white-blond hair that fades into lavender at the ends, and a dress to match it. And she’s holding the wand. Unfortunately, at that moment the music starts. I need to dance. I don’t know how to dance. I have to get away. I spot the princess slip her wand to a servant, if I can get over there, I can grab the wand and get out of here. The prince is looking away now. This is my chance. I take a deep breath, and slip into the crowd. Making my way over is harder than I thought, and half way through I have to press myself against the wall to take a breather… there are so many people it’s hard to think. That’s when the prince pops up beside me. “Fancy seeing you here,” he quips. I swallow, this is not going my way. “Ho-” he cuts me off. “I don’t need your footwear to recognize you, you know.” I smirk at that, but he doesn’t lift a lip. “Tell me what’s really going on.” I can’t do that. He’ll never believe me. “I’ll believe you.” “You were right when you said I wasn’t from here. But I’m not from another kingdom, I’m from another universe. A universe where all this,” I wave my hands around, “is fictional. I found the wand and somehow opened a portal to your world. I tried to get back and couldn’t, and then the Magic Patrol took the wand away. Then you came, and when I figured out about the wand I thought I would talk to the princess and have her zap me back home, but when you told me how awful her and her family was I knew I had to do something and I…” I pause to take a breath, there are tears in my eyes and a very confused look on the prince’s face. But then the confused look turns to determination, and he holds his hand out to help me up from the floor which I didn’t realize I had fallen to. “Okay,” he says, “I’ll help you.” I start to open my mouth to thank him, and he cuts me off. “But, when we open the portal back,” if we open the portal back, “you’ve got to show me this world of yours, deal?” “Deal.” We shake hands. It’s time to kick some princess butt. I run around the left side, and the prince takes the right. If I can get halfway up the staircase I’ll be right above the princess and her servant. From there I can drop onto the servant’s head and wrestle the wand away. From there the prince will help hold any attackers back as we escape. After that we’ll go… somewhere, I’m not exactly sure where, but the prince says he knows some people who can do magic, and might be able to get me home. I hope he’s right. I tap my way up the stairs, being careful not to make too much noise with my stupidly loud high heels that I can’t even walk in. I almost trip over my dress twice. Why did I think I could do stairs? How am I going to land on someone’s head while I’m in a dress? I take my shoes off and decide to figure it out as I go. I reach my destination without further incident, and peek over the edge of the ivory railing. I’m right above the servant with the wand. The prince is at the front of the crowd, and he gives me a thumbs up. Then the princess starts talking. “And now, for the main event,” the princess says, her voice sounds like wind chimes and crystals. She grabs the wand off the plate it’s being held on and brandishes it. It starts glowing red. She starts glowing black. There’s some screaming. Time to go. I grab the top of the railing, and scoot my feet back as far as I can without falling over. If I get enough momentum I can catapult myself over the edge in one smooth move. I pull my arms forward and push my legs upwards as I launch myself past the railing. It occurs to me while I’m in midair, this was a really, really bad idea. But then I don’t have any time to think, because I just crashed onto the plate the servant is holding. I slam into the ground, the servant crunches on top of me. Yes I mean crunches, his nose cracks pretty hard against the floor and starts bleeding I’m not much better off. Pretty sure I’ve broken my tail bone. Princess Amethyst screams and turns to face me. The wand is still glowing red, as are her eyes and holy heck that’s creepy close up. She points the wand at me and opens her mouth to scream something, I scramble backwards as a bolt of energy flies from the front of the wand, just barely missing me. I continue to crawl backwards as she continues shoots at me, but luckily, she has terrible aim. I try to catch the prince’s eye as I move past him, I give my head a desperate jerk, trying to tell him to circle back around and tackle the princess. All the other guests are screaming and storming the doors. The princess aims a blast at my head, and I go flat as the bolt zooms over my head. I really wish the prince would come help. The prince comes and helps. He hurls himself into the princess and grabs her around the waist, effectively bringing her down to the ground. The wand is knocked from her grasp, and I watch as it clatters across the floor. I lunge and grab it. Oh jeez, I grabbed it. What do I do? “What do I do?” I yell at the prince as he struggles to keep the princess on the floor. “How should I know?” He yells back. “Just try something! Turn her into cheese or something.” Oh, turn her into something else. But not cheese, I have something more…fitting in mind. I raise the wand and it starts to glow green. “Amethyst!” A bolt of light soars from the wand, and strikes the princess right in the chest. It starts turning into crystal the moment it hits. She screams death threats and vengeance as she freezes. In less than a minute it’s over. The prince rolls off of the newly crystalized princess and groans. “That’s the last time I go looking for damsels in distress.” I laugh, I can’t help it. It’s not particularly funny, but after the day I’ve had, I need a laugh. Now I can only hope when the prince says he knows people he’s right.

The prince knew some people. He got me out of trouble with the Magic Patrol, covered up most of the chaos with the fight and figured out how to get me home. I ended up taking back a spell book to show to my boss. It’s pretty cool, and I’ve even learned how to float things (Including myself). I couldn’t manage to take the wand home though, something about it being a priceless heirloom.  All and all, I’m pretty happy with the way this adventure turned out, I’ll just need a break, and some new shoes before my next one.  

[bringbackwendellvaughn]

Legacy characters

Got so many asks about legacy characters...

so here you go.

My favourite Captain America is Steve Rogers. He will always be the only Captain America. John Walker is one of my favourite characters and his tenure as Captain America was a fantastic story but it’s a completely different story. John was never meant to be Captain America or the best Captain America or the real Captain America or even the “hero” of the comic. He remained a great character afterwards. When Geoff Johns made him Captain America again it was terrible writing and completely butchered the character. The whole direction of him being a ersatz evil Cap was a colossally bad idea which ignored all his character growth and his relationship with Steve. With that said, Allan Jacobsen did a pretty great job at half-fixing that bad idea and making it a bit worth-while. I really like Jeff Mace (read Captain America: Patriot, everyone) and I think 50s Cap has his place as an antagonist but none of these are Steve Rogers. Two i want to mention though; Punisher - i am one of the few people who think Punisher as Captain America makes sense and could get some good mileage out of it. But it’s a story not worth doing at the expense of Steve, it was good when it was done briefly when Steve was gone and I tihnk they could’ve ran with it for another trade or two. And secondly, Hawkeye! I think this was unintentionally the best idea Jeph Loeb hit on in Fallen Son. I think when it comes down to it, if Cap was ever to pick his successor (and not have Bucky or Falcon forced down his throat as the obvious candidate) then Hawkeye is perfect. Hawkeye is someone who has completely grown into the perfect person to continue Steve’s legacy. Again, i don’t want to see this happen, i just want to say.

Although most my opinions on legacy characters are “the real one is best”, one of my big contradictions is I much much prefer James Rhodes as Iron Man. I find he is a far more compelling and relateable character than Tony Stark, he’s someone you can root for and he truly improves on all the problems I have with Tony. Tony is a selfish, vain, elitist bully who is rich, a genius and one of the most successful people in the world who can just solve stories with new armor. James Rhodes is more of an everyman, he has doubts, he’s not doing it to show off or because he can and he has a lot to live up to. Not only that - and I don’t really want to wear this as a point - but he is a “black” character and, i really don’t think characters should be replaced with others for diversity’s sake, but having a black man as Iron Man does give a fantastic marquee black character.

Captain Marvel i’ve covered before. Basically, I’d settle for anyone who isn’t a mischaracterized terrible looking Carol Danvers who makes me ashamed. Honestly, Genis, Phyla, Monica, Noh-Varr, the Skrull, Rick Jones, Hulkling, Quasar, Mar-Vell... just anything other than what we’ve got.

Quasar i don’t think requires any mention. i never liked Phyla assuming the mantle but i won’t fault her for it. Rich was appropriately almost as short as it could be (though it bothered me that he was depicted using the powers far more impressively than we’d seen Wendell ever use them). Avril kincaid ahahahah. I don’t see the point in making Quasar a mantle. If Wendell retires, there doesn’t need to be a Quasar. There needs to be a Protector of the Universe, yes, but that is not equal to being Quasar.

Nova is again Rich Rider. Well, I’ve no issue with the Nova Corps, but Richard Rider is the featured Nova. Frankie Raye is cool but her name is unfortunate - she’s someone who i think should’ve gotten a new moniker rather than shuffle off into the grave for Rich (I’m sure I’ve posted before that I’d have dubbed her “Herald”). I’ve also considered the idea of having Robbie become the New Warriors’ “Kid Nova” but that’s entirely fanon thinking. I would never suggest he replace Rich. No one should really replace Rich, especially after the DnA stuff made it completely the case that no-one could ever achieve what Rich has.

Swordsman - i almost forgot this one as it’s not a big character at all. But Swordsman is a case where I like the legacy more than the others. Andreas von Strucker is a fantastic character and he’s run as Swordsman, while not particularly honouring the name, is the highlight of the character’s existence and name. Although the original Swordsman himself is quite a decent character, if it came down to picking between the two, I’d go with Andreas as Jacques is best defined as dead. He achieved his whole “hero” thing with his death. The Gatherers one is a character they never kept around long enough but he had potential and wasn’t bad, but again just Andreas is much more interesting and useful i think.

Penance isn’t much of a legacy as it is just a name that gets thrown about between unrelated characters. I think the Generation X one (who is hurt by James Robinson’s garbage retcon with M) being called Hollow now makes the case for not calling her Penance anymore. Robbie as Penance... I’m conflicted with. I completely see why people hate it and agree that it doesn’t make much sense with Speedball’s character - and it’s genesis as Joe Quesada just hating Speedball (and the horrible notion that he, Jenkins and Ellis were knowingly mocking self-harm) - but as a character concept I love it. If Robbie had kept being Penance I would have no problem but i wouldn’t want to inflict everyone else with something they hate. I do think Penance is a solid idea and everything done with Robbie as Penance was good but i find it really hard to reconcile between Speedball and Penance. I like them both and i feel picking either/or is doing a disservice to the other. I’ve thought up a few ideas for how to keep Penance AND Speedball (Penance was a Robbie Baldwin look-a-like hired after Season 1 of the reality show, Penance is former Speedball wannabe Darrion Grobe who i know next to nothing about, even just doing a Namorita style time-travel resurrection to have both) but i don’t feel any of those ideas are things that i would consciously want to do. I hate when other writers do shit like that. With Speedball and Penance I really want to have my cake and eat it too.

Marvel Boy... is a name I do not really have any consideration for at all. And that’s not due to the characters - Vance, Noh-Varr, Uranian, even Wendell - they’re all great. But every single one has another more identifiable name (except may Noh-Varr). So, Noh-Varr can be Marvel Boy if there must be one and if he’s not Captain Marvel. But he’s one of those guys who can get away without having a codename and just being Noh-Varr.

Ms. Marvel someone asked about and they definitely wanted to know what I think of that one and i refuse to offer an opinion so people can’t just say i’m being racist or sexist or whatever they want. Carol Danvers is/was/will always be Ms. Marvel. She was the first, she was the best, she was the longest enduring, she had the longest lasting ongoing of a Marvel female character in years. She was so close to the precipice of becoming huge on her own accord but Marvel decided it was better to force that and fail. And it was all just so Wacker could have his daughter dress up as her (hey, idiot, why not have her dress up as Sue Storm or Phoenix or any of the many less leg showing heroines?). Marvel were content to ruin one of their best female characters for selfish and idiotic reasons and that great character can never exist again. I also will mention Sharon Ventura. I feel bad for her. She was as much as a Gruenwald character and could’ve been something special but Steve Englehart butchered her early on in her existence and lumbered her with off-panel rape backstory, a man-loathing personality and quickly a rubbish “She-Thing” dynamic. And she became known as “She-Thing” by readers and unattentive writers who missed she was still being called Ms. Marvel even when she was in that form. Then when she got restored to being normal, subsequent writers just didn’t bother remembering that. I remember when Triathlon killed “She-Thing” in Secret Invasion and it turned out she was a Skrull, I was hoping it’d turn out she had been a Skrull between Gruenwald writing her in Cap #331 and Englehart writing her in FF but that was an entirely selfish desire on my part which would have been just as bad as Stephen Wacker for what he did to Carol.

Ant-Man is an identity i’ve never cared for. I think it’s a lame identity. To that end, i like Eric o’Grady. i think he was the most entertaining/interesting/unique.

Giant Man is a dud of a name. I’d just get rid of it altogether.

Goliath is okay and in many ways I’d say it should be Pym’s. If you want Pym as the giant growing character. But I think that should be Bill Foster... but he’s dead and i preferred the moniker Black Goliath. Then you’ve got people like Erik Josten and Hawkeye cluttering up the Goliath name.

Yellowjacket is a rough name. It’s probably Pym’s coolest sounding but I sort of feel it’s a name he shouldn’t want to ever use. Which is a problem since I prefer Hank’s science elements of which this name is the best fit for. Then we have Rita deMara who is another character who i think deserves another shot but then you’ve got the problem of her being Yellowjacket or having to give her her own name which then robs the character of pretty much 95% of the reason people might be interested in her.

Wasp is Janet van Dyne. It’s sad that should ever be an area for contention. I think Hank taking up the name was... well-intentioned. But it was mainly just a source of ridicule. Which is a shame because that costume and attitude was probably his best. And I’m not gonna bother acknowledging the other Wasp.

Nearly forgot Green Goblin (in fact now i realize i ain’t been thinking villains). I actually don’t know what to say about Green Goblin. I think Harry might be my main choice... but that is down to J.M. DeMatteis’ being a great writer and Harry not being rubbish in Amazing Spider-Man 2. Phil is a great character pre-Slott but i think could benefit more from a different name (while maintaining the same Green Goblin look)... maybe Jackal? Norman i think should’ve stayed dead after Gwen’s death and it’s hardly that alternative a thought. At the end of the Clone Saga, i think it would’ve been a lot wiser to have resurrected Harry as the architect as his death was both more recent, less iconic and far easier to reverse. We would’ve lost Ellis’ Thunderbolts and Dark Reign but I think that’s a decent trade-off. Even those could have been retrofitted to include Harry instead... if they were ever worth doing...

hobgoblin is a tricky one. i have the utmost respect and unwavering loyalty towards roger stern. his original hobgoblin stories are among spidey’s absolute best.  but when it comes to his identity... i must confess i much prefer Tom DeFalco’s idea that Richard Fisk was the Hobgoblin. This makes more sense to me than in terms of believability and motivation. Of course, neither of these got to  play out and instead we got Christopher Priest’s dreadful revelations to spite DeFalco (he wanted the Foreigner, but Peter David talked him down to Ned Leeds which is still rubbish). If it’s Ned Leeds or Roderick Kingsley, I’m going with Kingsley. I’m glad Roger got the chance to fix it but it would never have needed to be “fixed” if Christopher Priest hadn’t turned the entire thing into a farce. So ultimately, Kingsley is for the best... BUT THERE COULD’VE BEEN A ONE I PREFERRED EVEN MORE. But then we have Jason Macendale - who was a great character and a really wise choice for substitute. Even when we got the Demogoblin stuff, it seemed all as a means to make Macendale as interesting and challenging as his predecessor. I think Rog killing Macendale off was a bit of a bum note (why not have him revert to Lantern or even in some way Demogoblin?). Clearly the hobgoblin is always going to be a problem and it’s just a shame that so many good aspects or elements have been gotten rid of.

Which brings us to the Rose. Defalco intended him to be Roderick Kingsley. Which makes a lot of sense to me again when it comes to motivation and believability. But as some have noted, there is a slight wisp of homophobia in making the pampered homosexual into a flower villain. BUT i will counter that by saying, the Rose is actually fucking badass! he’s a really legitimate and was a well received villain at the time. there was nothing “gay” or “insulting” about the Rose, past the flower idea. But Priest decided to make it Richard Fisk - again motivated out of spite for DeFalco. This was fortunate for Roger being able to fix the Hobgoblin. And i think the motivation for Fisk was always there - but the same motivation led to him being a good Hobgoblin - and Priest tried his hardest to even butcher that decent motivation. And then any Rose that followed was dreadful, confusing and became utter editorial farces. We don’t need a Rose that badly.

Venom - Eddie Brock. Simple. But i will say i understand mac gargan. I think the problem was people like Bendis. The problem is Venom is one of Spidey’s most iconic and beloved villains but it’s a role that’s increasingly hard to force Eddie Brock into. So the solution to make Mac Gargan Venom and have a Venom without the anti-hero baggage of Eddie is incredibly sensible. We got to have a Venom who was evil and one of Spidey’s greatest foes. Except Bendis and others made mac gargan an utter joke. Flash thompson had an ok set-up... that works for Eddie Brock... but making it Flash was just rubbish-y. Most of Venom’s appeal is as either a Spider-Man villain or as Eddie Brock. Like i don’t need to say anything else.

iron man’s rogues gallery is pathetic. every single one, barring ghost, is a fucking legacy. there’s 20+ crimson dynamos. even ones like firebrand, whiplash, justin hammer... are replaced by legacy ones. it fucking sucks. and you know what, ghost is one of iron man’s best villains... madame masque too and her “legacies” are shit kurt busiek retcons.

human torch... simple fix: jim hammond is the torch. johnny storm is human torch.

whizzer isn’t really worth the consideration. one is dead, one is from another reality and one is called speed demon now.

ghost rider is an awkward one. johnny blaze has the better name and origin but danny ketch is a better written character i feel. and you can’t pick one without alienating a large fanbase of the other. i think there’s a fix for this... there’s the firestorm route of having them merge to be ghost rider or... how about they both can become ghost rider but only individually? like there has to be a ghost rider and say when johnny is ghost rider, dan is dan and when dan is ghost rider, johnny gets to be johnny. so the dynamic is that one is always having to suffer for the others freedom. but this is all fanon. alejandra is a non-entity and ghost driver isn’t someone i feel the need to consider.

scourge - retire this name and idea fast as possible.

nomad - likewise

deathlok - probably best retire this one too. michael collins was your best go and unfortunately his creator got to wrap that up and give the character a happy ending and to go back on it (oh, they did) would be incredibly insulting to the late dwayne mcduffie.

can’t think of any others worth mentioning... i mean i can think of other legacy heroes but none i really consider. captain britain, thor, hulk, nick fury... not really an area of contention with anyone i’d hope.

[tealandsympathy]

This has been a day. I walked to my client's office on Jackson Street thinking I was going to get there early but when I got there the front desk person said that my client isn't at that address (which isn't what Google told me the night before). I Googled the address and it said they were on Wacker (again, not what Google had told me every other time) so I hopped in an Uber and was only 10 minutes late. I get to the building and guess what? That's their old address. I called the office and it turns out they are on Jackson but two buildings down from where I originally went so I hop on another Uber and am almost 30 minutes late. So I'm all flustered and walk into the conference room making my apologies. There are about 15 people in there and out of the seven guys, five are good looking, three of them are really good looking and one of them is ridiculously good looking. And of course he's sitting closest to where I'm standing. Usually when I'm presenting I try to make eye contact with everyone but I just couldn't with him unless he was asking me a question. When we break for lunch I check out the status of my makeup since I get oily super easily. My face is so shiny you could almost see my reflection. In a panic I do something I know not to do, I apply more powder before blotting. Now my face is a cakey mess. Afterwards I go to dinner and they seat me at the bar (which is fine) but they seat me at the last seat right next to the water station and where the servers give their drink orders. So while I'm trying to eat I'm feeling super awkward. And there were only two other people at the bar and they were like six seats away from me. Now I'm at the Willis Tower waiting to go to the sky deck. I bought the ticket forgetting that The Bachelorette is on tonight as of i cam watch it on Hulu tomorrow.

[glassbottomgirl]

Posse’s on Broadway

Actually, Front Street which isn’t actually Front Street but Crescent Street but everyone calls it Front Street.

So I have avoided doing too many touristy things here, but this past week the library assistant was on vacation, so I got to spend a week with Anna (pictured above) as my assistant. It was a wonderful week, a week I desperately needed, a week that gave me great perspective on my job. Since this blog is not about my job (unless it’s something happy) but living on Catalina (and as you will see, the random things that come out of my fingertips when I sit down to write), I’ll leave that there.

But back to Anna, whom I adore. One thing tourists do here is get Wicky Wacked at Luau Larry’s. That means drink a Wicky Wacker upon which you get a hat. Yes, it’s a thing. Many a tourist can be seen in Avalon in this finery. Anna asked me about it and we decided to go forth before she got on the boat to leave me at the end of the week. So, there we are, on Front Street, Wicky Wacked.

Speaking of posses, it’s happening. I’ve been here long enough to start friendships, and over Jack enough to start appreciating what I’ve got. Speaking of which (now here’s a non sequitur for you)…this pen.

I was going to do a whole post about this pen entitled Paean to a Pen, but upon its death I didn’t feel much like writing. I found this pen when I was training at the West Hollywood Library in January. It’s that kind of pen that automatically makes your handwriting better, makes you want to write. I have been obsessed with it for MONTHS. I have done extensive research online to identify it, to no avail. I have also accosted people about it and sung its praises relentlessly. I can be, um, enthusiastic when I am a fan. So much so, a coworker and I were talking about it last month; she had the same pen but had been similarly unsuccessful in tracking others like it down. This same coworker was in the library this week, and told me she had something for me. This pen:

IT’S THE PEN. In red. With identifying marks. She found them randomly at the 99 Cent Store. I can now go buy a shit ton of them from Amazon or the like. Mystery solved. Extensive writing of lists in an unsuccessful bullet journal shall resume.

P.S. It’s a beautiful day on the isle.

[watersuncharted]

june 27, 2020

its a geevarghese wedding!

i wake up late, of course. to a bright & sunny day and an empty house. as i quickly get ready, i call joel. really annoyed since he didnt care or even know what was going on today. but, its okay. 

lisa bekah liz and my parents arrive. we set up and get this show on the road. as lisa and bekah are getting their hair done, we hop over and go get the desserts. super weird with the covid enviroment, but we waited and at long last hopped in the car with the goods and we were back at the house. we had to get the house all together and try to figure out how to fit everything in the fridge. it was interestingly weird but also kind of normal having liz around. it was like she had been gone for a long time but yet not gone at all? 

of course, i was beyond stressed throughout the whole thing because of the whole idk what to do with my hair or face situation. it was also hard because i just was trying to be on all day, you know? but its okay i was doing my best. lisa and bekah looked absolutely stunning!! their hair and faces are just beyond perfect, of course it turned out that way. 

liz and i sat and did the same looks, not much to our surprise they looked way better but the make up artists truly did so well. 

my parents kept scampering in and out of the room and my dad kept whispering and it was super funny but uncomfy all at the same time. 

they then loaded up the car as i started doing my mother’s hair. i must say it was not my best work, but we did what we could give the circumstances. 

then we hopped in our respective cars and drove drove drove all the way to the city. I MISSED CHICAGOO!!! it had been so long an driving down LSD really warmed my heart. i was so happy. good tunes, funny conversations and just overall jitterbug nerves. good times. 

we get there, and it’s go time. we learn: theres nothing that we were told! theres no fridge, theres no easels, the tables are on the ground, the place isn’t set up yet, the people outside are taking years to setup. not good. we quickly try to move everything inside before it all melts because wooooeee its 90 degrees and the sun aint letting up. then we are playing a waiting game. appeitzers dont come. cake comes, but has been markingly ruined.

marissa and mike have been now told to be in the ceremony, so that’s awkward. so what do we do? we try to kick it into high gear and PLATE. no one is PLATING. cake and frosting, all over my dress. lisa comes in with tide to go. i come back : no one hs PLATED ANYTHING. so i finish plating and all these idiots are standing around. 

enter: becky and sam: BREATHTAKING. unreal. her dress is insane and absolutely gorgeous. everyone is being rushed in. right before the ceremony, we give rachel her box. 

the pastor: SOOOO funny. “she is wow” “spaghetti” i cried truly cried and my nose was running because my eyes couldnt. 

beckys bouquet was insanely heavy so bekah and i kept switching off and liz was off fixing her dress. 

“yeah that’s it! you’re married!” 

and they were off. and that’s when everything began. setting the table and everything in between because NO ONE DID WHAT I SAID! 

and then after that, it was pretty fun. and gorgeous. 

then after everything went off, and we sent them away, clean up began. we didnt have the time that we thought we did and we had to get everything in there ASAP! but then we lost my phone and it was everyone freaking out for 25 minutes and me running back and forth. 

then : start movie scene. 

we drive into the city and the sun is setting. we see the sky gettin pink. we end up going to lower wacker and see matt stick his head and hand out the window to get service.

we park in a lot and we RUN. i have my skirt hiked up and two bouquets in another. my phone under my arm and the rest of the ladies + matt running behind me. everyone is cheering and wishing us congratulations! we are running up upper wacker. i am weaving in and out of people on the stairs to go up and i get up and i turn, panning to see the chicago sky. int he moment i knew it was a movie moment. we keep running, shoes in hand as well. everyone screaming and cheering. we see them!! and we RUN

this man is singing beauty and the beast, so beautifully outside on the street. and then we keep walking all the way down, take so many pics. then we have matt take exponentially more. 

we walk down with them and hes holding her dress like theyre in a fairytale. we get to the parking lot and end up chillin on the side of the street as they try to find their parking ticket to get out. then we get to the hotel with them and their car keeps beeping so we cant leave but eventually they have it done. 

i go inside the hotel with them but stay in the lobby for a long long long long time, like about 45 mins to an hour and fifteen to wait for them to bring down the dress and things. then we get home; liz is dying of illness on the drive back. and somehow, its not even midnight.

[mechagalaxy]

John T. Mainer: Bubba took a Nap

Bubba took a Nap

My name is Beauregard Hamish D’Orville, but you can call me Bubba. I been piloting since the Death Jokers jail broke me on Epsilon Eridani (small matter of a paternity suit, shotgun wedding with actual shotguns). Now I fight for the Big Gun Mafia, and we live up to the name.

It’s a good life running a Reaper in the front rank of the BGM. I act as one of the commander’s bodyguards. He does the big thinking, the big speeches, and the big bailouts when we done bit off a bit more than we can chew. I keep him alive while Fat Tony figures out how the Mafia is going to win. All he asks from me is that I take care of the gate commands, as he had a little mishap that one time after our celebration after Faction War (don’t drink with the RND Faction unless you have a prosthetic liver) and he ended up in an alternate universe. Had to work his way up from a Warhorse, and ended up bringing back a Guardian as a souvenir.

He asks that I do the gates for him, and that I don’t nap during briefings. I mean it doesn’t seem like a lot, but Fat Tony likes to make sure everyone knows everything about the enemy, all our contingency plans, and all that stuff, and honestly all I need to know is “can I shoot them now boss?”. So I may rest my eyes now and again. What is the harm?

We had come off a nasty ass clan war. The BGM had won a few more wars than we ought to have, so we ended up pushed up a division and found us punching above our weight class. We fought the Bad Ass Lycan Reavers, Herrods Hardass Cannibals, and Willies Big Bong Cavaliers. The Cavaliers smoked us like so much weed, but we stomped everyone else.

We was in a briefing, Fat Tony was covering the interactive displays with data, scouting reports, after action reports, intel from the last war. I don’t know why. I mean, we did the war, what follows is the raid. I get there is always stuff to learn after every war, but I’m drag ass tired man. I figured I would nap now, and get the low down during the raid of anything I missed.

I had my implant programmed to operate my eyes while I napped, programmed with alert and focused look, occasional blinking, and a side routine that automatically picks up the gate addresses that Fat Tony needed me to remember. Everything was under control. Or not.

“Mafia rolling heavy, LETS GET IT ON!” Fat Tony’s call to arms woke me up and I jumped up fist pumping the air with everyone else and joined the rush to the big steel. No specialist crap now, just big mecha, big guns and shoot ‘til you loot raiding!

I had the gate codes stuck in my implant, and I hit them without really paying attention. We came out at the space port.

What the bullet loving bang? We mount ships to go to war, not to raid. What’s going on?

I locked down Capo, my Reaper, and climbed down slowly, really confused now.

Two of the other front line pilots, “Sweet Betty” Stevens, and “Leg Breaker” Chou were discussing the drop.

“Looks like we get the Herrods Hardass Cannibals on a converging course for the beacon. I guess we are going to be duking it out with them right out of the gate. Those bastards creep me out, but I think we can take them” Bad Betty was talking like this was the beginning of Clan War, but we just did this, and damn, Herrods were the second battle not the first. What the bullet loving bang was going on?

Leg Breaker Chou was slapping Sweet Betty on the back and reassuring her.

“At least we wont be throwing down with Willies Big Bong Cavaliers, they are up a division from us. Let them go back to pounding on Snoop Dogs Weed Wackers and leave normal folks alone” Leg Breaker laughed.

I broke out into a cold sweat. We did this. WE JUST DID THIS. But Willies Big Bong Cavaliers were in our division. I knew I shouldn’t have napped. I knew I should have woken all the way up before I entered the gate coordinates. I done boogered it. I think I hit one of them Multiverse, Metaverse, or in my case probably the Meatheadverse.

Oh Bubba, you done screwed it bad. Alternate universe. I didn’t listen to the stories, what else has changed? What if the Cannibals here didn’t reform? I mean back in the day, those boys did eat people. What if they never got fixed up from that little problem of Vupa 6 garrison duty. We are fighting them next. I kind of need to know, but can’t let on I aint from around here.

We arrested the alternate universe Xeon and Unification used to infiltrate us. I don’t want to get busted when I aint done nothing wrong. Well, except napping in the briefings, but that aint worth hard time!

Oh man, what if this is Xeon or Unifcation space? I aint one of the Xeon commie partisans, and I sure as shoot aint doing that spit and polish regular army government pay rate Unification crap. What kind of universe was this?

I played it cool, I asked some leading questions about Herrods Hardass Cannibals, like did they really eat people? I tried to casually slip into conversation the question of looting, to see if this universe allowed it. I thought I was being cool, but everyone began eye-balling me like they figured out I was from another universe.

I broke into a cold sweat, I started babbling, trying to be cool. Sweet Betty smiled reassuringly, but I saw her palm her Regrettable Incident nerve disruptor in her left hand, and Leg Breaker stretched casually to cover his Han Solo quiet under table unholstering his Sunbeam laspistol.

Sweet Betty was sounding reasonable, which meant I was dead. Sweet Betty sounds like the friendliest kindergarten teacher in the world right before she double taps a guy and collects the bounty.

“Say Bubba, you look tired, why don’t we take you back to the troop compartment for a bit of a nap”

Betty was moving right, as Leg Breaker was on my left, and they were flanking me so if I tried to draw on one, the other would burn me down. I felt sweat eat at the smartlink connection between me and my slug thrower, but I didn’t want to draw on them, even if they weren’t my Sweet Betty and Leg Breaker, we was still Mafia.

That is when Fat Tony came in. His coverall was unzipped and his gold chain was gleaming as he stalked into the room, chewing on his unlit cigar.

“Stand down you morons!”

Fat Tony aint much to look at, about five five, and about forty kilos overweight, but when he says frog, we jump. He is the second deadliest pilot we have, and the single deadliest commander I have ever even heard of. We stood down.

He moved right into my face. He took his cigar out of his mouth and poked me with it in the forehead. At least this time it was unlit. I have a scar left there from the time I showed up to a Red Ant fight in a Dreadnought because I slept through a briefing and cost us a win.

“Bubba, you do understand that this isn’t the Clan Raid right? You did pay attention in the briefing about how we are having a SECOND clan war instead of a raid this time right?”

Now his balding head was right underneath my chin as he was glaring right up into my baby blues with his brown rage filled eyes.

“Bubba, tell me you aren’t about to draw your damned side arm on your line mates because you slept through the briefing and are having some sort of idiot attack?”

I am cursed by nature with a blush that you can read by. I lit up like a Christmas Tree firing Hell Bats.

I took my hand off my gun, and spread them to each side as I shrugged and came clean.

“Sorry boss, I nodded off in the briefing. So, any specialists I need to know about?” I tried grinning.

Next thing I knew I was on the ground, with a strong ringing in my ears, and the distinct impression Fat Tony wasn’t happy with me. He didn’t shoot me, so I guess he’s only a little upset. Sweet Betty and Leg Breaker picked me up, giggling.

“Damn Bubba, you got to quit napping in briefings. It’s going to get you killed” Sweet Betty said.

Well, here we were, going to war again. Same universe, different war. Big Gun Mafia is coming for you, and shooting is what we do best.

John T Mainer 28840