#I am awful at stylizing replies sorry!!

[justmeinadaze]

Im in Control Part 11 ( Steddie X You)

A/N: Do you remember the beginning of Lilo and Stitch where she gets into that fight with the little girl and the teacher tries to like reprimand her and she's like "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" That's how I feel posting this lol

Warnings: Feelings! All the feelings! With the smut of course. Daddy Steve and Sir Eddie. The boys get the reader a gift to have some fun with her. They do fuck up (I feel like) and there is some major angst with the boy going into more about their damage when it comes to their past. The reader mentions some trauma but it's not as in depth as theirs.

Rough sex (I mean...it could be rougher but still ) Its more the reader towards them. Slapping, hitting, etc. Um...am I forgetting something? Maybe.

Word Count: 5152 ( I let the angst flow through me *sinister laugh*)

“I hate weddings.”, TJ grimaces as he takes a drink from the flask in his pocket. 

“Oh, that’s nice. Give me my invitation back then.” As Randy reaches for the envelope, your boss pulls it back. 

“I said I hated weddings. I didn’t say I hated you. I will be there.”

You giggle from your place on your desk as Steve looks at the over stylized piece of paper in his hands. 

“TJ doesn’t hate weddings. He hates marriage. Thankfully, Randy, you aren’t looking into a mirror of the future.” You raise your hand to block the stress ball TJ throws in your direction and Eddie catches it from his place in front of you as it bounces off your palm. 

“And of course, you’re all welcome to bring a plus one.” Randy turns to look at you. “Except you.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you are kind, funny, beautiful, and more importantly not jaded and bitter like these assholes. I want you to meet my friend who’s actually my best man. I think you two will really hit it off.”

“Jesus H Christ, why is everyone so obsessed with my romantic life? Randy, I appreciate the offer but I’m okay.”

“Oh, so are you bringing anyone?”

“I was going to go with these two.”, you gesture towards Eddie and Steve.

“Okay, well there we go. I’ll tell him you’re just bringing friends. Talk to him, Y/N. Trust me, you won’t regret it.”

When you glanced at the boys, their eyes were still on the invitations but everything about their demeanor had totally changed. Steve’s chest rose and fell heavily while the hand that Eddie didn’t have holding the paper was balled into a fist on his knee.

“Hmm… I’m sure I will.”

##################

“We have a present for you.” Steve grins as his hungry eyes scan your body. 

They had driven to your house to pick you up for the wedding but instead of meeting them outside like you normally do, he had come up to knock on your door. 

“What is it?”

“Hm, I can’t tell you. Here, go put it on before we’re late.” The man hands you the box before playfully slapping your ass, pushing you towards your room. 

After you open it, you stare at the contents completely confused. Inside was some admittedly cute lingerie but you didn’t understand why they would want you to wear it now and not later when the three of were playing. Nevertheless, you did as he asked, sliding the black lace panties under your green silk dress. 

“Steve?”

“Yeah, baby?”

You smiled to yourself as he replied to you. You liked when pet names like that freely flowed from his lips without prompting or hesitation. 

“This bra is beautiful but it wouldn’t go with the dress. My straps are too thin and the cut is too low. Is it ok if I leave it here? I don’t want you guys to think I don’t like it.”

His tall frame suddenly appeared in your doorway. “Aw, look at you, being so sweet. Of course, that’s fine.”

You grin as you lean up on your toes to kiss his lips. “Thank you, Daddy.”

Steve extends his elbow to you which you take as he guides you towards the car. 

“Hey, sweetheart. You look breath taking.” Eddie flashes you a smile and you lean over the seat to kiss his cheek, 

“Thank you and thank you for my present.”

“Oh, yeah? You like it? We thought of you when we saw it.” The metalhead chuckled at Steve as he climbed in and started the car. “Harrington, as beautiful as you are, I don’t think that shade of lipstick suits you.”

He makes a face as he looks in the rearview and removes the imprint you left on his mouth. Steve leans over and lightheartedly punches his friend in the arm. “Don’t be jealous. Tell her more about the panties we bought.”

“Mr. Harrington, they are panties. There’s nothing intercut about them beside the very sexy lacey design along the side. Other than that, they cover all the naughty bits.”

“They better.”

You laugh at his stern tone as Eddie grins over at him before looking back at you. “Princess, these aren’t just any pair of panties. They… well, it’s probably easier if I just show you.”

You watch him as he reaches into his suit pocket, pulling out a tiny black remote. He wiggles it in your direction, showing it off before pressing a button at the top. 

A sudden jolt of vibration shoots through your body straight to your clit. 

“Fucking hell!”

“Oh hey, Steve. It works.” They smile at each other as the car stops at a stop light and Eddie climbs between the seats into the back with you. 

“What did you two do?”

“See, you can do little pushes…” His fingers pressed the button repeatedly and each little shockwave elicited a small moan. “Or you can push this button here…” His thumb pressed another section of the remote, allowing the vibration to be more constant as it messaged your nub. Your head fell against his shoulder as your hips began involuntarily moving, grinding against nothing.

“You can also change the intensity which is really cool.” As Eddie’s thumb slid along the side, the vibration between your legs gradually intensified causing your eyes to roll back. The man beside you licked his lips as he leaned them down to the shell of your ear. 

“Baby, you’re going to have to have a better poker face then that in front of these people.”

“I-I-I can’t…”

“Aw, Stevie. Little girl pretends she’s so tough but can’t hold it together for one night?”

Your face contorted in annoyance as you looked up to meet his gaze. “It…it’s not fair…when…”

While you were talking Eddie increased the intensity again making you reach out abruptly and cling to his shoulders. 

“Go on. What’s not fair?”

“I’m…I’m…”

“No, no. Tell me what’s not fair. Then you can cum.”

You felt the car stop as Steve parked, turning around to watch the display behind him. 

“It’s not…fair…when you…have an advantage…fuck! Please, please, please.”

“Go ahead, Sweetheart. Cum for us but keep your eyes on me as you do. Do you understand?”

“Y-y-yes, Sir.”

“What you’re feeling right now. That intense overwhelming pleasure as your cunt tightens and your body trembles. We control that. We are in charge of making you feel as good as you do right now.”

You bite your lip, controlling to urge to scream as you cum. The vibration between your legs abruptly stops as Eddie passes the remote to Steve. His beautiful eyes lock on to yours as he gestures to his friend. 

“Remember what he said when you’re talking to Randy’s best man.”

##################

“I hate you both.”, you spit through gritted teeth as you three take your seat at the reception table. 

“No, you don’t.”, Eddie cackles. 

“We haven’t even done anything yet since the car ride here. Calm down, little miss.”

“Yeah, but the fucking anticipation…I don’t when you guys are going to—”

“Hey Y/N! Hey, boys.” Randy grins as he leans down to hug you. 

“Hey, man. That was a beautiful ceremony.”, Steve returns his grin with his own. 

“Thank you. I’m glad it’s all finally over though. Planning this was a huge pain in the ass and then the whole thing with the engagement party… Anyway,” he looks down at you. “I see you didn’t bring anyone with you.”

“See but I did though. I brought two!” You gesture to the guys but as your hand extends the groom takes it and pulls you out of your chair. “Randy, I don’t—”

“Hi. You must be Y/N. I’m Jason.” The best man offers you a hand which you hesitantly shake. He blinds you with his smile as he chuckles. 

“Jas, these are her clients. This is Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington.”

“Oh yeah. I’ve heard a lot about you.”, he says emphatically as he greets them. 

“Oh yeah? Randy’s never mentioned you. The only Jason we know is from our hometown and he was kind of a dick.”

You narrow your eyes at Eddie as you pout your lips. “Really? I’m sorry for them. They are stubborn as all hell and complete assholes.”

“You’re right, Randy. She’s funny.” His eyes lock with yours. “I like that.”

The abrupt vibration between your legs startles a small yelp out of your lips as you turn to look at them. Both sets of eyes were glowing with amusement, completely ready to do this tango with you. It made your core throb with need as sat back down between them. 

“We have to go back to our table but we’ll talk later?”

Your lips quickly press together as the tremor between your legs escalates. 

“Sweetheart,” Eddie leans closer to you. “The man is asking you a question. It’s impolite to not answer.”

“Yes, I WOULD like that vERy mmmuch.”

Jason softly smiles at you before turning with Randy and heading back to their designated area. 

“Fucking prick.”, the metalhead rolls his eyes.

“You just don’t like him because he wants our girl. Even though, I’m not going to lie, the vibe I’m getting is one pump chump. Then he’s gone. What do you think, honey?”

You hadn’t heard a word they said as your hand gripped Eddie’s thigh. They watched as you swallowed down pants, trying to control any moans from escaping. You suddenly felt Steve’s hand in your hair and the tenderness of his touch was enough to push you over the edge as your head leaned back, squeezing your eyes shut as you came.

“There we go. Atta girl. Such a good girl for us.” His eyes quickly scanned the room before using his fingers to push your hair behind your ear so he could see your face better. “Color, baby?”

“I still hate you but green.”, you smile in his direction. 

Steve’s own grin grows as he passes the remote to Eddie. “You can say it correctly. No one’s looking.”

Your eyes shifted around the room just as his had before finally resting on his juicy lips in front of you. 

“I wish I could kiss you right now, Daddy.”

“Well shit!”, TJ’s voice startled you both. “That was actually a fucking nice little thing they pulled off here.” 

You cleared your throat as you turned to face your boss. “Nice little thing? I’m sure the bride and groom will love that you’re calling it that.”

“Look, angel. I’ve done three of these. I think I’m an expert by now.”

“No one is questioning that.”, you giggle. 

“I’m just saying it’s nice, okay? Leave me alone.” He smiles, chugging back the wine in his glass. 

The reception continued in typical fashion with the bridal party and parents each giving a little speech. There was the typical throwing of the bouquet which Eddie found totally amusing that you didn’t want to take part in.

“Why not? Isn’t it like a whole thing for girls to want to catch the flowers?”

“For some, yes, but not me. I think someone who actually wants to get married sometime soon should grab it.”

“You don’t want to get married?”

You reached under the table and placed your hand in Steves. “Not right now but one day. Do you want to get married? I mean at some point.”

“Eh, I don’t think I’m cut out for marriage.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Have you met me?”, he chuckles.

“Steve…”

“Don’t get married, son. Trust me! It’s a trap.” TJ raises his glass towards him as you roll your eyes. 

You notice that Eddie had gone uncharacteristically silent, reaching for his hand with your free one. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen one happy marriage.” He softly smiles as your thumb caresses his skin. “And I think out of all my friends, Harrington’s parents are the only ones that are still together and they definitely aren’t happy.”

“My parents are still together and I’m your friend.”

“Are they happy?”

“Happily married, yes. Happy in general, no.”

The father and bride dance along the dance floor in front of you and after a while more people are to join. You glance at them both but neither man moves. 

“Excuse me.” You look up to see Jason smiling down at you. “Would you like to dance with me?”

“She very much would. Hi. I’m the boss. I’m TJ. This young lady deserves a dance. Hell, she deserves way more than a dance.”, he winks as you cringe. 

“I’m sorry. He’s wasted and an idiot.”

“No. Not a problem. So—”

“Go! Now! I’ll keep the boys company! They’ll survive a few minutes without you.” TJ shoves you into Jason’s chest and gestures you both way from the table. 

You place your hand on his shoulder taking the other to hold in the air as you sway to the music. You try to keep as much distance between you two as possible but it’s hard with his hand on the small of your back. 

“Randy tells me you’re an agent for some popular porn stars. That’s kind of neat. I don’t know a lot about the industry but…”

You couldn’t give a damn about what he is saying. You tuned him out as your eyes stayed on your table, watching as Eddie and Steve became increasingly more angry. They whispered heatedly to each other; well, Eddie did. Steve’s lips remained in firm line as he followed Jason’s movement with his eyes. 

Every time his hand drifted a little further down your waist, his chest would rise and fall as he told himself not to just get up and beat the shit out of this guy. Eddie pulled out the remote and you subtly shook your head. You knew if they teased you, you may grab onto Jason which would just make things worse.

Steve whispered in the metalheads ear making Eddie grin as he pushed one of the buttons forcing the panties to come to life between your legs. They weren’t going to make this easy, choosing to skip the little pushes and allow the vibration to turned on while you danced. 

“FUUUCK me…”, you mumbled.

“Are you ok?”, Jason asked as he looked you over.

“Yeah, yes, yeees. I’m fine.” A sudden increase in intensity pushed you forward into his chest. “Sorry. I, uh, trIIIpped.”

You turned glare at Eddie to find they were both already fuming. Steve reached over for the remote turning the vibration to its highest setting and you couldn’t help but cling to Jason’s shoulder for support as you felt your legs begin to shake. 

When his lips connected to yours, you immediately shoved him away from you. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“You were grabbing on me. I thought you were trying to…I don’t know!”

“We just met!”

“I don’t fucking know how women in this industry behave.”

“Yeah well, obviously, you have no idea how a man behaves either. Fucking prick.”

Your shoes click against the floor as you run out of the reception hall and enter the bathroom. As soon as Jason kissed you the vibration had stopped but you still reached aggressively under your dress, pulling off the underwear and throwing them on the counter. 

A knock on the door made you jump and as soon as you opened it Steve’s hands gripped your face. Eddie followed behind him, locking the door so no one else could come in. 

The man holding you quickly scanned your face as his thumbs wiped the tears from under your eyes. “Are you ok? What happened? Did he hurt you? Why are you crying?”

“No! No. I just got overwhelmed with the underwear, seeing you guys look so hurt, and then him fucking kissing me. I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Steve pulled you to his chest as you tried to calm down. “Hey. Breathe, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, baby.”

“We took it too far. We just hated seeing his hands on you.”, Eddie sighed.

“I didn’t want to dance with him! I didn’t want anything to do with him but no one fucking listens to me! I just want to be with you! With both of you! I fucking love you!” 

You immediately closed your mouth trying to stop your words but they had already flowed from your lips. Steve’s hands dropped from you as both men leaned back against the wall. Your breath shook as you exhaled, eyes shifting between them. 

“I love you.”, you repeated with a bit more confidence. 

“This was a mistake. We pushed her too hard.” Steve’s voice was low as he spoke to Eddie. 

“You think? She thinks she’s in love with us.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t talk to each other like I’m not here.”, you scowl.

“Maybe we should give her space.”, Eddie continued as he folded his arms across his chest. 

You march up to the boy and grip his cheeks in your hand like they do with you when you won’t answer a question. “STOP! Talk to me, Eddie.”

Roughly, he pulls face from your hands and pushes you backwards away from them. “You can’t love us.”

“Why? Was that some fucking rule I missed?”

“Munson, it’s ok. Little girl thinks she’s in love. It’s kind of cute.” Steve’s tone is dripping with condescension.

“I…I don’t think. I-I-I…”

“I-I-I… yeah, you sound real sure of yourself.”

“That’s because you’re intimidating me a bit! I just…don’t understand. Why can’t I love you? Why would that be such a bad thing?”

“We aren’t people you fall in love in love with, honey.”

“Oh? So when you told me that you cared about me…where did you expect this to go?! At some point like turns to love, Steve. I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

Steve’s head hangs as he slightly turns to speak in Eddie’s direction. “I told you this was a mistake.”

“No! Don’t turn this around and make me into one of the people who left you guys. You’re the ones pushing me away right now and for a stupid reason!”

“It’s not stupid! We’re protecting you. Trust me. You don’t love us. You don’t WANT to love us.” Eddie glared at you trying to keep his strong composure intact. 

It suddenly all hit you at once. 

“I’ve never seen a happy marriage…Come on, honey. Have you met me?... My dad beat the shit out of me…A smart mouth just like your fucking mother…My dad was barely home. He never cared. Always made me feel like I wasn’t enough… I didn’t do enough to protect you…”

“Eddie. Steve. You… you guys aren’t your parents. You’re not your dads. This thing here that we do…it’s not the same.”

“We should get back out there before people start wondering where you are.” Steve started to move out of the way so he could open the door but you held him still with your palm against his chest. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t ignore me. Don’t ignore my feelings. When we started our relationship, you asked me if I had any boundaries you shouldn’t cross. This right here is a big one. My mom pushed aside my feelings all the time especially if they didn’t align with her beliefs. Please, don’t…don’t do this. Don’t be selfish. I’ve been through some shit to and being open with you guys like this is extremely hard. But I DO love you and if you don’t that’s fine. It is what it fucking is but don’t you DARE preach to me some bullshit about how I can’t because of who you are.”

Eddie looked at Steve as they had a silent conversation between them. The metalhead nodded before shoving his friend to the side and barreling out into the hallway. 

Steve grabbed the door handle, pausing to glance your way. “Our private arrangement is over. If you feel like you can’t be our agent anymore, we’ll understand. We’ll bring your stuff from our house to your office on Monday. You can let us know then.” With that he was gone.

Your entire body felt numb as you stood there staring at the spot they had just been standing. Your body glided out of the bathroom of its own free will as you passed through the reception hall like a ghost. 

“Y/N, have you heard of this—Y/N?”, TJ’s eyes followed you with genuine concern. You couldn’t bear to look towards the other two men at the table. “Y/N? Angel, where are you going?”

He got up to trail after you, gently reaching for your arm. As you looked up at him, it was like being shaken from a trance. “Are you ok? Did something happen?”

I’m not in control.

You suddenly fell into his arms and cried. He guided you to a nearby bench, holding you to him as he gently rocked you back and forth. “I told you weddings are the worst.” A heavy breath left your chest as you laughed and he smiled at the sound. “I’ve known you for 5 years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hurt like this. Now I know I’m your boss but I care about you so I just have one question. Whose ass am I kickin’?”

You didn’t see it but Steve was watching you two out of the corner of his eye. 

“Is she still crying?”, Eddie asked as he looked down into his glass. 

He shook his head. “TJ’s making her smile.”

“Good because we’re fucking assholes.”

“Yeah, well, that’s why we are letting her go.”

“Are we? Or are we throwing more salt in her wound by staying around as her clients?”

“Go ahead, Munson. Go tell her we’ll be leaving as her clients as well which could get her fired in the process.”, Steve chugged back the last of the wine in front of him. 

“She was fucking right you know. We never should have crossed that professional line. We should have just left her alone especially if it was going to end like this. She was right about everything. I mean, where did we think this relationship was going to go, Harrington? I feel like we’re worse than our dads for stringing her along and I hope you enjoyed watching that prick paw on her because we are going to be seeing a lot more of that now.”

“Excuse me.”  They jumped at the sound of your voice. “You two gave me a ride here and TJ is too drunk to take me home. Can you please—”

“Yeah. Not a problem.” Steve quickly fishes for his keys as both boys stand. 

“Thanks, guys. I’d drive her but I don’t have my car and I am way too wasted.” TJ grins as he gives you one final hug. “At least I know she’s safe with you guys.”

#################

The entire car ride to your house is completely silent. As soon as they parked, Eddie began to move so he could get out and open your car door. 

“No. No, no. Mr. Munson. I got it. Thank you for the ride.” You reached for the door, stopping halfway as you addressed them. “I don’t need until Monday. I’ll still be your agent but I have rules of my own.”

You heard them shuffle in their seats to face you and for the first time since the bathroom, you met their eyes. 

I’m in control.

“We don’t talk about anything unless it’s business related. I think that’s best for everyone. You will stay out of my personal business and I will stay out of yours. That’s, um, that’s it actually. That’s all I had.”

They silently nodded and you did the same, reaching for the door again. 

“We’re sorry… for what it’s worth…”

You sarcastically laugh as you lean back in their back seat, casually gesturing towards Eddie. “Letting Daddy speak for you again, I see. You know what, Steve. Nothing. Your sorry is worth NOTHING. I trusted you two and what did that get me? This is the second time in our relationship you both have made me feel stupid. I put a lot on the line for this relationship. My career, my friendships, my personal life. I have told you two things and done things with you that I have never said or done with anyone else! I even left a good man because I put my faith in you. I’m an IDIOT but it’s fine.”

“It’s fine because it’s fucking over. No one, hear me, NO ONE has ever hurt me like you two just did. So, Steven, that sorry apology isn’t worth the pain I’m feeling right now.” You finally exit the car and slam the vehicle door. “Thank you for the ride.”

The tears started to flow as you made your way towards your front door. A strong hand gripped your shoulder, turning you around as Steve’s lips crashed to yours. Eddie promptly opened your front door as Steve guided you inside. You pushed him back against the wood, smacking his face with your palm. 

Glaring up at him, you did it again and he didn’t do anything to stop you. Shakily, you tore at his suit as he roughly pulled at your dress. Your back suddenly hit the wall outside of your bedroom as his lips heatedly kissed your own. As he started fumbling with his belt, you shoved at his chest, trying to push him back. Your hand collided with his cheek again and when his face turned back towards you, his brown eyes were overshadowed with lust. 

“Is that best you can do, little girl? Come on. I know you can do better.” You hit him again, feeling his bare chest heave at the feeling. “Oh, come on, baby! Really let go.” Your tiny hands pushed and punched at his chest as you felt the tears well up in your eyes again. 

“Fuck you, Steve!” Your fell back against the adjacent wall and his body came with you as his head leaned near your ear. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He kicked his pants to the side, lifting your legs to wrap around his waist as you clung to his neck. “I don’t want to hurt you either, honey.” Your eyes rolled back as he sheathed himself inside of you, thrusting at a steady pace as he spoke.

“You’re not an idiot and you’re not fucking stupid. You are the best girl we have ever known. We have to do this, baby.”

“You don’t have to, Daddy.” He grunted as you pulled his hair, making him look at you. “You don’t have to. You—mmm—aren’t him. Fuck. Please, please. Harder, Daddy.” Without pulling out, he carries you into your bedroom and falls with you onto the bed, smacking his hips against yours as you moan. 

“You deserve better, Y/N.”

“Please, make me cum. Please, Daddy.”

Steve pushes up on to his arms, pumping into you as hard as he can, watching as your body bounces below him. Your nails scale down his chest as you cum, clenching around him making mewl as he moves faster against you. He falls onto you, his hips faltering as he cums inside of you.

As he rolls to the side, you sit up on your elbows to meet Eddie’s blown out eyes. He had already removed his suit and was slowly stroking his cock as he watched you both. 

You expected Eddie to immediately take what he wanted but when he placed himself in front of you, his arms abruptly pulled you into a hug. 

“He’s right, Princess. You deserve better.”

“Then why did you even bother, huh? You should have just kept fucking me the way you were or better yet…just left me alone.”

He leaned back to look at your face as ran his fingers through your hair. “I don’t know. You’re right. We should have kept things the way they were.”

You bottom lip trembled as you tried holding yourself together. Balling up your fist, you punched his chest, knocking him back slightly. 

“That…does NOTHING for me, Eddie! Just like his fucking apology. Or I’m sorry, both your apologies. Did Stevie tell you this was for the best and you just went along with it?”

He looked down, trying to control his temper. Eddie knew he deserved this after hurting you. 

“No.”

You hit his chest again but this time he turns into it. “Just no…Sir? That’s all I fucking get? No!”

As your fist flies, he reaches out to grip your wrist and pulls you closer to his face.

“No because I don’t need him to remind me where I come from! I’m a Munson, sweetheart. We’re all destined to be fuck ups. I am meant to destroy you, Y/N. Is that what you want?! Because that’s what you claim to love.”

He pushes your chest, making you fall backwards as he quickly grabs your legs pulling you to the edge of the bed. Eddie runs the tip of his cock between your folds a few times before breaching your entrance. Hugging your legs against his chest, he thrusts into you with purpose.

The sound of your strained voice draws his attention as he looks down at your sweaty face. “I…I don’t—mmm—I don’t understand why—FUCK!”

“Why what, baby. Tell him.” Your eyes meet Steves as he gently pets your head, caressing your forehead with his thumb. Eddie slows his pace allowing you gather your thoughts.

“I don’t understand why you…see yourselves so…negatively.” A tear escapes your eye and Steve tenderly wipes it away. “I trusted you.”

Eddie opens your legs, wrapping them around him as he leans down to capture your lips. He holds you to his mouth, feeling your pussy tighten around him as you cum again. Leaning up on his knees, he chases his own high, furrowing his eyebrows together as he cums a few moments after you.

Steve wasted no time getting a wash rag from your bathroom and taking care of you. You sat on the edge of the bed allowing them to do their thing, staring off into the void as they did. Eddie threw a shirt over your head and for the first time since you had started your relationship, he put one of your own on you. 

The dam broke as you cried again. Steve wrapped his arms around you, shifting your body so your head was on your pillows. When he moved to leave, you didn’t let him go. Not until you felt him crawl under the covers with you as Eddie did the same. His arm encircled around your waist behind you as Steve watched your face till your eyes slowly began to close. 

“Steve? Eddie?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“Please, don’t be here when I wake up.”

################

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[thcgoodtimegirl]

@satanmontgcmery continued from (x)

“There are two sides to everything, that means that it’s not just your fault.” 

Rosalie watched her aunt for a moment, they were Forbes-Montgomery’s they didn’t talk about their feelings. She still felt like she needed to say something though.  Rosalie wasn’t close with anybody, not in her residency program, not with her family - and definitely not with her extended family either. It wasn’t like Archer was exactly forthcoming when it came to being her dad ever in her life.

“Everyone has a role that they play.”

[jphbk1982]

Decided to work up a quick InDex fic since we were deprived content on NXT last night. 

Starting Over

Indi had been standing outside of the building for what seemed like hours although, in reality, she knew it had only been minutes. She switched her gym bag from one hand to hold it with both in front of her. Her mind was a million miles away from the Capitol Wrestling Center but yet her body was required to be present here for the NXT show starting in a few hours.

Indi felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and reached in to retrieve it. She allowed the device to pull her gaze from the building in front of her as she noticed she had a new text message from Candice. She opened it and saw it was one asking where she was.

Indi let out a small sigh as she quickly texted back simply the word "outside". She slid her phone back into her pocket and took the few steps toward the doors of the building and opened them. She barely acknowledged the security team who nodded at her as she passed. She made a left turn and began down the hallway to the locker room area.

The building was quite small so she could hear various conversations coming from throughout all parts of the building. Some were just chit-chatting while she heard some working out in the gym located in the back of the building. She rounded the corner to come out into the open common area that housed the gym and was located directly behind where the ring was set up.

Indi's eyes did an immediate scan of the room to see if she could see him. Her heart sank a little when she saw no sign of him. She wasn't totally surprised. He usually was not just out milling around with everyone else. Sometimes though he passed through, it was impossible to get anywhere in the building without doing so. She continued on slipping quietly along the back wall to avoid conversation or confrontation with anyone as she headed directly for the small locker room where she knew Candice was waiting for her.

"There you are!" Candice's tone was loud and caused Indi to cringe slightly as she entered the doorway to the locker room. In the middle of the room was Candice with her phone in one hand and a wrestling boot in the other.

"Hey... I'm sorry I'm late," Indi responded in a quieter tone more appropriate for the small room.

"What happened?" Candice asked, her expression turning from annoyance to concern.

"Nothing..." Indi quickly dismissed the question as she walked across the room and placed her bag on a bench. She unzipped it and started to fumble through it.

"Nothing?" Candice was by her side now.

"Yeah, it was nothing, traffic... I got caught in traffic," Indi fibbed.

"Well you know Johnny always tells you to get an early start to avoid that," Candice reminded her.

"I know," Indi replied turning to look at her and offering an attempt at a smile. It seemed to placate Candice who turned and went about putting on her other boot. Indi found the bag of makeup she was looking for and pulled it out. She didn't feel especially like going and sitting for a lengthy makeup session and was so late she might not have time to anyway so she instead got her bag and stepped inside a small bathroom on the side of the locker room.

Indi took a good look at herself in the mirror and frowned. She looked rough. She had not been sleeping that well since the incident. Her frown grew as she remembered seeing Poppy wrapped up in Dexter's arms and she felt fresh hurt and annoyance rising up in her. She had not seen him since. There had been text messages from him but she had not brought herself to open any of them. He had even attempted to her get her attention on Twitter and Instagram but there too she had not really engaged him.

Indi went about getting her makeup ready as her mind continued to entertain her with thoughts of the strange and captivating man that she had been trying hard to not think about day in and day out. She wanted to stay mad at him, but there was a part of her that just knew that what she was was innocent. Friends had pointed this out to her, strangers on social media were begging for her to try and understand. They however didn't understand how she felt in that moment.

A knock on the door in the locker room next to her broke her out of her thoughts. She heard Candice shuffle over to answer it and heard some conversation between her and who she thought was Johnny but she couldn't quite tell because it seemed they were nearly whispering. Indi hurriedly went about touching up her makeup while trying to listen as best she could.

Things eventually got quiet in the next room which intrigued Indi even more. She stepped back from the mirror over the sink and stuck her head out the door to look into the locker room. She saw Candice holding something in her hand. A large envelope of some kind. She was walking over to a corner between the lockers. She watched as Candice slowly pulled a locker slightly from the wall and slid the envelope behind it.

Indi furrowed her brow as she watched confused by what was happening in front of her. Candice started to turn around so Indi sunk back into the bathroom and pushed the door gently closed in front of her.

"Hey Indi, you okay in there?" Candice's voice came from right outside the door.

"Y...yeah... just finishing up," Indi replied in as much of a nonchalant voice as she could muster.

"Okay well... I am going to go find some food you want me to bring you anything?" Candice inquired.

"N...no... I ate before I left home," Indi answered.

"Okie-Dokie," Candice said before her footsteps moved away from the door and Indi heard the door to the locker room open and close. Indi composed her thoughts for a moment before she exited the bathroom. She eyed the corner of the room as she found herself slowly walking towards it.

Indi stopped herself halfway across the room as she suddenly felt guilty for what she was thinking about doing. It was probably none of her business whatever it was Candice was doing but something was nagging at her. Her mind went back to their day at the spa when she found out that Candice had been the one buy flowers for Shotzi and Ember and not Dexter as she had feared. It was that moment that had kicked off all of the drama between her and him and now she had an awful sense of deja vu washing over her.

Indi took the last few steps to the corner much quicker than her first ones as she slid her fingers behind the locker. It was much heavier to move than she had anticipated by watching Candice do so moments ago. She finally budged the locker and one large envelope slid out into view. Then another. And another.

"What?" Indi spoke quietly to herself as she saw her name written on the envelope in a stylized fashion that she immediately recognized. She reached down and picked up the one she had just seen Candice hide. She stepped back and slid it open. Immediately she saw what it was as she pulled it loose from the envelope.

Indi's hand went over her mouth as she a drawing of her. It was beautiful. It was her holding her championship title. A picture she remembered posing for just last week. She ran a hand over the drawing and traced it with her finger until her eyes caught the caption at the bottom.

"I'm sorry, please let me explain."

Indi was smiling but couldn't remember at what moment she had started. She gently laid the picture out on a nearby chair and went about opening the rest to see many more similar pictures, of her... of him... one of her cat. All with similar captions. One in particular under a depiction of the moment where she surprised him at ringside brought a tear to her eye.

"It is only you."

Her phone vibrating in her pocket barely went noticed and it was only seconds after it had stopped that it even registered with her. She retrieved the phone and saw it was a text message from him. This time she hurriedly opened it and that is when she saw all the ones she had yet to unopen over the last couple of weeks.

"Did you like it?"

Indi was nodding in response to the message before she could bring her fingers to text a response.

"Where are you?"

She studied the message willing the "delivered" to change to "read". She was about to send another message when it finally changed and she stopped her fingers. She saw the dots indicating he was typing and she held her breath until the response came.

"Outside."

Indi scooped all of the pictures up in her arms and hurriedly left the locker room. She made her way back the way she had come earlier, this time in nearly a full run and not trying to quietly slide along the back of the walls. She could tell people were turning to look at her but she really did not care.

Indi hurriedly made her way to the front lobby and pushed open the door and walked into the muggy humid evening Florida air. She turned her head from side to side looking for him. She saw nothing immediately so she started making her way around to the backside of the building. It was there she saw his car. Some sort of older large black car. Indi wasn't too sure about the make not being overly familiar with American cars.

Indi tried to compose herself a little as the car came better in view at the end of the lot. She stopped when she caught a glimpse of him sitting on the trunk of the car with his arms crossed over his legs. She took a deep breath and hurriedly made her way down the length of the car and moved to stand in front of him still clutching her pictures tightly.

His eyes moved from the ground up to meet hers and she felt dizzy from the sight. It was the same look that had prompted this whole thing to begin. The look that had captivated her and changed her whole life.

"I do..." Indi spoke.

He cocked his head slightly. She held up the pictures.

"I like them very much," She elaborated. "And I am sorry too... about what I said... I didn't mean it."

His expression softened as he hopped down from the car and stood in front of her.

"And I know... I know it was a misunderstanding...the hug... and..." Indi was suddenly slightly out of breath.

His hand moved to gently caress her cheek and it stopped her train of thought completely. She had never felt so warm in all of her life and it was not the humidity to blame this time.

"I... can we start over?" Indi asked. A nod from him and a slight smile. That was it, she was done for now. She started to lean in. Her lips were mere inches from his when she heard the loud and boisterous tone of Austin calling her name. She made a disappointed face and opened her eyes as she could hear him coming closer, no doubt sent to look for her.

She stepped back and attempted to pull herself out of the trance she was in. He was still looking at her, not even phased by anything going on around them.

"I will definitely text you... and... if you text me back I promise I will answer okay?' Indi offered him an assuring smile. He merely nodded his head and matched her with a small smile of his own.

Austin's voice was merely a few feet down the parking lot now as he continued to call for her. Indi made her way past Dexter to move out so Austin could see her. She stopped suddenly when she felt her hand being enveloped by a large gloved one. She turned to see him looking over at her. He let her go as quickly as he had captured her. And she felt flush all over again.

Indi, quickly as she could, composed herself and stepped out into view for Austin who was now just a couple of cars away from her.

"There you are!" He was still shouting despite the short distance. She barely paid that any attention though and glanced behind her to see somehow Dexter had managed to disappear completely. She smiled and then reached out to turn Austin around and began to walk them both back toward the building.

The End.

[sassyshoulderangel319]

Karaoke Date

So my last two MLQC one-shots went from really long to fairly short and this one is solidly in the middle. I recently had a lot of professional musicians tell me I have a good singing voice so this just felt like a lot of fun.

I was sitting in my office when my phone rang. Glancing at the Caller ID and contact photo, Kiro’s smiling face and bright eyes were looking back at me. I picked it up. “Hey Kiro,” I greeted.

“Miss Chips!” Kiro replied happily, like he didn’t think I would answer. I chuckled.

“What can I help you with?”

“I came up with a brilliant idea! Hear me out,” he said dramatically. “You and me: karaoke!”

I blinked. “Uh… Kiro?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a superstar. Why would you even think that’s a good idea? You get mobbed stepping out your front door. Putting you on a stage in some bar under a bright spotlight and singing a song—even if it’s not one of yours—would be the biggest security risk I can think of. Your agent would kill me if I let you—”

“But that’s the thing! There’s this new karaoke place in town where you’re in individual rooms but your microphone is projected into all the other ones. You can lock the door and sing completely anonymously. I could go in there and sing someone else’s song and no one would know it’s me!”

“I’m pretty sure everyone would know it’s you because they can, y’know, recognize your voice… but I guess you have a point.”

“So you’ll go with me?”

“Sure.”

“Great! I’m gonna come pick you up from work tonight if that’s okay!”

I smiled. “That’s just fine. I’ll be waiting for you.” If that wasn’t the motivation I needed to get everything done in the set work schedule today rather than going overtime, I wasn’t sure what was.

“Why are you smiling, bossman?” Kiki asked.

“A friend is picking me up for karaoke after work,” I said. I purposely left Kiro’s name out of the conversation because I knew Kiki wanted me to date him and I didn’t want her to have a full-scale squeal-fest in the middle of the office when it was this early in the morning.

“Oh have fun!” Kiki said.

“I will. Definitely.”

*****

“Good evening, Miss Chips. Your chariot awaits,” Kiro said, opening the car door for me. It was a nice car—not as expensive as Victor’s but still a piece of art on wheels. He had on a hat and hipster glasses, covering his blond hair and bright eyes, as well as baggy, dark clothes. His jewelry was still the same but I’d only ever seen him without his earrings once or twice, and never without his ring. Not even at the summit. How that hadn’t given him away, I’d never figured that out. Maybe the people at the summit weren’t looking for his telltale styles.

“Hi, Ki—” I greeted, cutting myself off from saying his name. I ducked into his car. “What should I call you tonight?”

He shut the car door once he made sure I was safely in and jogged around the hood to the driver’s side. He slid in himself, so fast he nearly knocked his hat off. He gave me a dazzling smile. “I think tonight I should be… Lee. Just Lee.”

I smiled. “Okay. Lee. How was your day?”

“Long and exhausting, but I’m all better for seeing you.”

What an absolute sweetheart. “Aw. Thanks. I’m better for seeing you too.”

He beamed at me and we drove off. The radio was playing classical music, strings and winds running around each other, competing for dominance and then blending together in a perfect choir.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Kiro said.

“I’m just… listening to the music. I figured you were more of a pop radio guy.”

He snorted. “Just because I sing that stuff doesn’t mean I like listening to it in the car. Classical is so much more interesting. Have you read sheet music?”

“All the time,” I said. “I’m a pianist. And I play the cello a little.”

“Yeah. So you see my point. Pop music is so boring from a sheet music perspective.”

“I agree,” I said, thinking back on when Anna bought me a book of the most popular music of the year for piano and the music was waaay below my skill level and so simple I didn’t even need the music to figure it out by ear.

“Finally. Usually people seem shocked that my own genre isn’t my favorite,” Kiro remarked.

“Well we’re all more complex than people tend to think. We like to put things in boxes, but people never fit in boxes,” I said. Kiro hummed in agreement and kept driving. I realized he was a much safer driver than any other guy I’d been in the car with recently—except maybe Lucien. Gavin was reckless and Victor drove so fast—but Kiro was pretty cautious. I got the feeling that maybe he didn’t drive very often.

We got to the karaoke place in good time. I handled the check-in while Kiro stood just slightly behind me, not making eye contact with anyone but holding my hand. We were escorted to a private room. There was a tablet set into the wall where we could make song selections and order food and stuff.

Kiro locked the door and winked at me. “Don’t wanna be caught by any fans,” he whispered before examining the equipment. There was a bright smile on his face. “Ah, man! It’s been so long since I did something silly and normal like this!”

“Well let’s not waste time, then,” I said, crossing to the tablet set into the wall. “Let’s see… how about…” I started listing off his own song titles with a playful grin on my face. Kiro came up behind me, his torso pressing against my side and one hand resting on my shoulder to read past me.

“No way am I doing one of my own songs. That’s how I get caught,” he said.

I giggled—I couldn’t help it. “I knooow. I’m just playing with you.”

He tsked. “How rude, Miss Chips,” he teased.

I snorted. “How about this one?” I gestured to a song title. “I mean, if you want to do a duet.”

“Of course I do! I can’t wait to hear how good you are!”

I laughed. “Hold your horses, tiger. I can carry a tune but I’m nowhere near your level, Mr. Superstar.”

Before I could say anything else, Kiro reserved the song for us. The tablet gave off instructions so we’d know when it was our turn. Someone else’s slightly-off-key singing was echoing over our speakers. We turned it down a little so we could talk.

We just chatted for a few minutes. There were only two songs before us, according to the queue on the tablet screen.

When we got to be on-deck, Kiro and I took our microphones.

He looked at me as the guitar began. “Tell me somethin’ girl… are you tired of this modern world…” He had such a beautiful, crisp, clear voice. It captivated me and pulled me right in. I stared at those bright blue eyes and could have gone for a swim in them. He sounded incredible. I wondered if anyone recognized his voice.

He sang it better than the original recording with What’s-His-Face. Maybe I just like singing something straight—without overdoing the stylization. Kiro didn’t bother with fancy riffs or vibrato.

It was my turn to pick up with the female part. I cleared my throat away from the mic and then held it close. “Tell me somethin’ boy… aren’t you tired of tryna fill that void…” I started quiet but confident. I knew the lyrics—and even if I didn’t, they were on the huge TV screen that was meant for karaoke. Kiro stared back at me, both of us just holding the other’s gaze.

For the life of me, I couldn’t read his expression.

I held the mic slightly farther away from my mouth so I could let out my full belt. I’d always spoken with a loud voice and accompanying that was a singing voice that could fill a Broadway theater. I’d been taught how to sing quietly, but letting loose felt so much better.

“I’M OFF THE DEEP AND WATCH AS I DIVE IN—I’LL NEVER MEET THE GROU-OU-OUND!”

Kiro stared at me with his jaw going slack. I felt my ears reddening and my voice wavered as though I was performing in front of an audience looking right at me instead of just Kiro.

But he picked up the harmonies perfectly when he was supposed to come in, and he knew them. He didn’t even look at the lyrics on screen. Neither did I. We didn’t need them. I did the vocalization in the middle, slowly building up the volume and then repeated the refrain. Kiro added the harmonies again.

I didn’t realize until the song petered out a few seconds later that we were standing within inches of each other. His warm breath brushed over my face.

I put the mic back on its stand. Kiro did the same. After a few moments, another song started up, signaling to us that our equipment had been turned off. Kiro immediately grabbed my arms with a massive smile on his face.

“Miss Chips!” he exclaimed. “That was amazing! Why didn’t you tell me that you could sing like that! You should come on stage at my next concert!”

I shook my head. “Oh no. I don’t sing in front of crowds that big. I don’t… sing in front of crowds, period. But thanks, Kiro.”

He fell onto the couch in our little room. “I cannot believe you never told me you were that good! You should be in front of the camera as a star—not behind it producing.”

I chuckled and crossed over, standing next to him but turned slightly toward the tablet screen so I could look at the food menu and the other songs. “But I like my job,” I said.

He leaned forward, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me down onto the sofa.

Except he misjudged the angle and I ended up falling right across his lap with a, “Whoa—WHOA!”

He caught me with a hearty laugh. “Whoops! Sorry,” he said, sounding entirely and genuinely unapologetic. But the sparkle in his eyes dissolved my irritation completely.

“It’s fine,” I said.

“We need to make this a regular thing. Come and do karaoke. I can’t go the rest of my life never hearing you sing ever again—you sound so good!”

“Kiro…”

“I’m serious, Miss Chips. It can be our little getaway thing. Or you can come to my place any time you wanna practice. I just… I’ve discovered my new favorite artist,” he said.

I snorted. “Thanks,” I muttered.

He brushed a few strands of my hair out of my face, eyes peering deep into my soul with earnest affection. We froze right there for several moments, someone singing what could have been Welcome to the Black Parade in one of the other rooms. The song was fuzzy though, tuned out as we focused solely on each other.

Heat spread over my face, originating from my ears and crawling down my neck too.

So many thoughts swirled through my head all at once that I couldn’t make sense of any of them. One of them, though, rang out loud and clear, like a bell, as I stared at Kiro’s smiling eyes.

I love you.

The thought pulled me up short and my face got even hotter. I must have been turning bright red. I slowly picked my way off Kiro’s lap and went back to the tablet screen. “Want to get something to eat?” I asked. “I’m hungry.” I hoped that would be the end of it. Not that I wasn’t enjoying the moment but… I wasn’t ready to say those three words out loud yet. Kiro was… a great guy and I really liked him but he was so busy all the time. I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved in a relationship with a superstar.

If there was ever a way to get thrust into the spotlight without being a public artist myself, that was it.

“Something wrong?” Kiro asked gently at the sudden change.

“No. Just hungry. Haven’t eaten since noon and it’s…” I glanced at the clock on the tablet screen. “Holy—wow. It’s seven-PM. No wonder I’m getting a little woozy. I haven’t eaten in forever.”

Kiro pressed against my side again as I browsed the food menu. We picked what to eat and I returned to the sofa. Kiro stayed at the tablet for a second though, scrolling through songs.

“Wow,” he said. “They have a lot of my songs here.”

I snickered. “Everyone loves your songs and wants to sing them, I guess,” I said.

He turned and fell back onto the sofa next to me. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No!”

“Well—it’s just—you just—you went all red and got up like I… like I did something wrong.”

“It was nothing you did, I promise,” I said. “It was just… I felt like you were looking right into my soul. I psyched myself out.”

Kiro smiled. “Maybe I was looking into your soul,” he teased.

I defaulted to playful mode to get over the awkward. “Oh yeah? Did you like what you saw?”

He leaned incredibly close to me. “I loved it,” he said seriously, so breathy it was almost a whisper. Immediately my heart hammered against my sternum so hard I thought it might break my ribs.

There was that piercing look again. The one where he was seeing the contents of my heart and soul laid bare. He was so close that if I barely shifted forward I could kiss him.

Over the speakers, someone was singing one of Kiro’s love songs—one I’d listened to… way too many times. Especially on days I was feeling lonely or down on myself. It was hard, even over a recording, not to feel like Kiro was singing right to my heart. Singing for me and only me.

And I’m sure everyone who listened to that song felt the same way.

The karaoke singer definitely didn’t have the nuance of Kiro’s voice, nor Kiro’s charm, but they sounded good.

But all of that was at the very back of my mind while the artist himself was looking at me like he was trying to shine his sunlight on the deepest, darkest depths of my heart.

And there was that thought again, amongst the too-fast swirling other thoughts.

I love you.

Feeling impulsive—and knowing we had quite a while to wait for food to come—i leaned forward, closing the distance between us.

He met me with enthusiasm, his fingers sliding into my hair. I felt the ring on his right finger brush my left earlobe. My nose was squished against his cheek, letting me smell his skin. I couldn’t tell if I recognized his aftershave or not but it had a sharp sweetness to it.

Just like him.

His fingers flexed in my hair, pulling me even closer to him. I relaxed against him, letting him take the lead.

“I love you,” I breathed against his lips. “I’ve fallen for you hard. And I don’t intend to try to get up.”

He chuckled, his eyelashes brushing my cheek, not pulling away from me either. “I love you too,” he replied. “Every love song I ever wrote pales in comparison to how I actually feel for you. I never had the proper experience to write about being in love accurately until I fell for you.”

[millennialzadr]

About Page!

Hello~! Thank you so much for visiting my blog! My name is Koya, I’m 25, I’m pansexual, my pronouns are she/her, and I’m a full time freelance artist! My main blog is @koyakyuuun, so I’ll be liking and following from there!

Below are some guidelines for those who are curious to know more about this blog and what to expect from it, as well as some general info and FAQs!

Content Guidelines!

The focus of this blog!

So this blog is a mish mash of a couple different themes, but above all it is an adult oriented Invader Zim fan blog!! I grew up with the show and and was a BIG fan during highschool, and after rediscovering it this year I have been DAZZLED and DELIGHTED by the fan content being produced today!! I have a deeply nostalgic yet completely new perspective on the show now that I’m in my 20s, so alongside of celebrating iz content and fan content in general, this blog will center around my niche fave: the iz cast + millennial culture! in other words, the characters depicted as if they lived in the real world and aged in real time! I loved and related to the characters as a kid, and I still love them dearly to this day, so to see people experiment with character interpretations and create adult versions of them means I can still relate to them even now, and even make my own versions! and as a queer neurodivergent millennial who loves niche culture, my favorite versions of the characters are queer neurodivergent millennials who love niche culture!! (and by niche culture I mean MEMES, AESTHETICS, BAD FASHION, GAY CULTURE, CRYPTID CULTURE, DARK CORNERS OF THE INTERNET, CREATIVELY WEIRD SELF EXPRESSION ETC!!)

And of course the other main theme which fits into the first: ZADR! while I don’t ship Zim and Dib as they’re canonically presented in the show, I DO adore the idea of the two growing up together, eventually becoming friends, and eventually falling in love. I’m a Big Gay and I love romance and lgbt content, and ZADR holds such a soft place in my heart 😭 I wrote a big post about why I love it so much which you can see here if you’re curious about my interpretation of the ship!

And now, some guidelines!!

Things I enjoy and will be posting/reblogging!

- general IZ content! because holy SHIT I love the show and ALL the content the fandom creates is awe inspiring and amazing!!!

- millennial culture/humor! I FUCKING LOVE IZ + 2019 POP CULTURE REFERENCES AND MEME CONTENT OKAY

- POSITIVE CONTENT! IZ is my comfort content and I deeply admire the positive impact the show has had on so many people. I also interpret Zim and Dib as having hard lives and mental problems but eventually recovering and finding happiness (and making each other happy!!). I do also love vent content and gritty/dark themes from an artistic standpoint (and of course comedic Depression™ memes) but I will be focusing much more on comforting and uplifting content!

- character development/relationships, fluff, comedy, domestic content, daily life, sci fi, conspiracy/cryptid content, fashion portraits and camp horror!! these are my favorite themes!!

- friendship, romance, and found family!! I adore the relationships between the characters and they ALL DESERVE LOVE!!!!! JHONEN CAN BITE MY ASS

- the IZ creators!! speaking of Jhonen LOL I LOVE seeing content about the creators themselves!! I genuinely have such affection and admiration for the wonderful people who brought and continue to bring the world of IZ to life, they are such amazing and inspiring human beings and I will be celebrating them alongside their creations!!

- IZ characters + aesthetics!! some of my MOST favorite IZ content depicts the characters being stylized with or sporting the fashion of vaporwave, goth, grunge, pastel, spacecore, cryptidcore, future funk, 90s disastercore and any and all things strange, niche, glittery and neon, and I FUCKING LOVE IT. GOD

- and lastly, I talk a fuck of a lot, as you can probably tell by this post lol. I’ll be screaming in the tags constantly and am liable to write the occasional super long text post! for those who are into that, I invite you to have discussions with me! and for those who aren’t, feel free to ignore them!

Things I will be staying away from!

- romantic content that depicts the characters as minors AKA underage zadr!! there will be no kid ships here! I’m an adult and only enjoy shipping adult versions of the characters! kid content will be either canon, wholesome, or friendship content! while I do find adult versions of the characters attractive since they have qualities I find attractive in real life, I see the adult versions as almost completely different people since they’re so far removed from the source content, and the love I feel for the canon kids is HIGHLY maternal and very nostalgia centric. this would probably be more clear if I didn’t lump the two types of content into the same blog, but I really do love both the adult fan interpreted IZ world and the canon IZ world in equal measure, just in different ways!

- content that fetishizes or ‘yaoi’-fies gay relationships! I am a queer person and I enjoy queer content made by queer people for queer people, you’re not gonna find any “B-BUT WE’RE BOTH BOYS!” shit here 😂

- content that depicts abuse between friends or partners!! while violence is an active theme in zim and dib’s canonical relationship, I very much dislike zadr content that depicts the two being aggressive or malicious towards each other while they’re supposedly in love. complex relationships are certainly interesting, but while toxic and abusive relationships are realistic, they’re not okay and should not be romanticized. I understand some people use that kind of content to cope, but for me it’s nothing but bad feelings. sparring and play fighting is fine and good, consensual violence could be interesting to explore, but hatred will stay separate from romance on this blog.

- discourse and long conversations about negative topics! I acknowledge the importance of discussing problems within the fandom, however I wish for this blog to be a positive and comforting place, since iz content in general is positive and comforting for me! there may be an occasional post that touches on real life negative topics but overall this will be kept to a minimum.

- explicit content!! while I DO both draw and consume nsfw adult zadr content, it will not be on this blog! since tumblr decided to be idiots and remove any way for minors and people who don’t wish to see nsfw content to hide it, this blog will remain pg-13. I will also not be providing any links to my other sites because of this (I am a nsfw artist and I sell porn commissions for a living, not trying to shove that in the faces of my minor, ace and sex repulsed followers, but by all means seek out my art if you DO wish to!). similarly, I will not be releasing my nsfw zadr art publicly anywhere, since aged up characters are controversial and my career, being online, could suffer if someone wanted to use that against me. HOWEVER, for fellow adult fans with extra cash who take a shine to my art, paid content could be a possibility in the future 👀

Interaction Guidelines!

Things I’m okay with!

- tagging my posts in any way you wish! kinning is fine! any ship interpretation is fine! any gender/orientation interpretation is fine! sharing your thoughts/opinions is fine!

- as long as you CREDIT me! using my art for icons/headers etc, drawing my iz designs, referencing my art, and reposting my art on other sites is all okay!

- asks or anons of any questions you might have about me or my content!

- asks or anons popping in to share thoughts, opinions and ideas! it’s always nice to hear from other fans!

- leaving comments in the tags/replies/reblogs of my posts makes me very happy!! tumblr is the only place I post my fanart and I love seeing what people think of it!

Things I’m not okay with!

- messages, reblogs, tags or asks that are blatantly rude or disrespectful! I really do not care what the subject or reason is, if you act like an asshole, I will not respond and will block you!

- asks or messages that say only ‘hi’ or ‘how are you?’ I have no problem with people trying to be friendly but I never have a single idea of how to reply to these kinds of messages, I’m so sorry 😂 please talk to me about fandom stuff though!!

- pressure to produce content! I like any other creator adore comments and compliments, but things like “DRAW MORE!!” “MORE ZADR!!” “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DRAW MORE!!” are not compliments!! it is in fact very off putting so please don’t do that! it will mess with my motivation! consider commissioning me if you want more content!

- if you are considering trying to be my friend, please be 20+!! I am not comfortable being friends with teens! nothing against my teen followers, I respect and appreciate you, but please understand I cannot relate to you on a personal level, and besides that, being friends with someone over 20 can be harmful and even dangerous for minors! I am an adult and only wish to have adult friends! please respect my wishes!

About my content!

So since what I like to draw is usually pretty different from the show, here are the basic headcanons for my interpretations of adult Zim and Dib~! Basically they’re queer 2019 millennials who are damaged but doing their best and enjoy niche interests and subcultures. Zim is the type who’s tough to handle but it’s worth it because he’s an amazing and colorful person underneath it all and only those he’s close to get to see that, and Dib is an eccentric but completely reliable, intelligent, passionate, and loyal friend whose company is a familiar comfort and a total safe space. They live together and are mutually beneficial allies to friends to lovers!

I HAVE A FIC, or at least an idea for one lol and when using my designs for the characters, my drawings will most likely be set in its context! Affectionately nicknamed the Soft AU, it’s centered around rest, recovery, affection, care and bonding… bc I’m SOFT OKAY 😂 You can read the full summary here, but here’s the gist!

A little over a decade after arriving on earth, Zim’s banishment is reinstated and as a result his entire base and all his equipment is confiscated, leaving him stranded on Earth with no way off the planet and in danger of being caught and killed by the humans. Dib offers him a deal that he’ll hide Zim instead of turning him in in exchange for letting him study Zim. They live together in Dib’s apartment and eventually get used to each other. Loneliness induced affection ensues. Hooray!!

And now for the boys themselves!

My Dib!

- 25, 6′2″, Mexican, cis boy, bisexual, bilingual

- is recovering from depression and anxiety and has ADD and insomnia, has had a nicotine addiction

- has a ton of ear piercings and a few facial piercings, as well as a few tattoos

- is still just as obsessive about his interests as he was as a kid, just with more curbed enthusiasm due to, yknow, depression. researching Zim however brings his enthusiasm back full force. he still sucks at taking care of himself when enthralled with his work but he’s getting there

- runs various blogs, forums, and youtube channels making content about cryptids and conspiracy theories, the ad revenue of which is his main source of income (he dislikes using his father’s money to support himself, but will dip into the family account occasionally)

- is very patient and can communicate and problem solve very well, and is skilled at handling various conflicts and mental issues

- still has his ‘I hate people’ attitude but is more open minded and understanding than he used to be, and more compassionate. he has difficulty trusting strangers but his friends and family are very important to him

- can be moody and dramatic but he’s a big sweetheart at his core

- being friends with Zim has made him more willing to enjoy acting like a huge dork and total weirdo, even in public

My Zim!

- young adult, 5′5″, androgynous presenting demi boy, panromantic demisexual

- has PTSD and anxiety, is recovering with help from Dib

- displays inhuman behavior such as hissing, growling, chirring, chirping, scratching/biting, screeching, territory guarding and dominance displays

- is a demi boy, meaning he identifies as mostly but not completely male, and is more nonbinary than cis, but he’s never given it too much thought because gender is stupid. he has little to no concept and zero regard for human gender roles

- is a SHIT who’s main entertainment is annoying Dib and ‘winning’ arguments, but Dib seems to get harder to piss off as time goes on, much to his confusion

- pitches a fit when he doesn’t agree with/doesn’t want to do something but can be swayed with rewards such as food, sweets, new clothes, video games etc

- rambunctious and high energy, he gets stir crazy often, but since he hates the city he and Dib often take car trips to more fun/nicer places outside the neighborhood

- moody and bratty with skewed logic but smart and more intuitive than he used to be, he’s more than a handful to deal with, but this also makes him the most entertaining person Dib knows

- after having the free time to discover the world of aesthetics, he becomes very much into clothes, make up, accessories etc (be they masculine or feminine) and enjoys making a hobby out of creating a unique self image using fashion (thus also subconsciously asserting his individuality)

- is much more dependent on Dib than he admits (or even realizes)

- his beliefs in nationalism, fascism and genocide are direct results of brainwashing and personality altering programs run by his PAK, and are not actually part of his core personality (these programs will be overridden and deleted eventually)

Side Note: I haven’t thought as far with the other characters but my Gaz and Tak are definitely lesbians 😂

And finally, my tag list!

#my art - things that I drew!

#my post - any post that I posted!

#asks - asks!

#text post - any text post longer than a couple lines!

#video - videos!

#audio - audios!

#canon - content from the show/comic/movie etc!

#creators - any content featuring the IZ cast or crew!

#memes - memes, shitposts, short comics, comedic posts etc!

#friends - friendship art between any characters!

#family - family bonding between the membranes/found family between any characters!

#ships - ship art between adult characters!

#suggestive - any content that could be considered sexual in nature!

#positive - fluff, friendship, wholesome content, uplifting content, characters being happy/cute/having fun etc!

#negative - angst, vent art, violence, mental illness, dark themes, characters fighting/being sad/getting hurt etc!

#kids - content depicting characters as kids/irkens as their canon designs!

#adults - content depicting characters as adults/irkens with noncanon designs!

#millennials - content depicting adult characters that includes any modern culture! (personal fave)

#aesthetic - highly stylized or surreal portraits centered around aesthetic themes!

ship tags!: zadr (zim and dib romance), tagr (tak and gaz romance), rapr (red and purple romance)

friendship tags!: zadf (zim and dib friendship), tagf (tak and gaz friendship), zatf (zim and tak friendship), tadf (tak and dib friendship), zagf (zim and gaz friendship), zag (zim and gir)

character tags!: zim, dib, gaz, tak, gir, red, purple, membrane, skoodge, gretchen, keef, spork, miyuki, recap kid, bg chars, ocs

[plutoniumcybernetic]

Beyond Death

The sound of boots thumping down against concrete and broken tile, the musty smell of a place abandoned and long forgotten, the settled dust that kicks up with every step... Yeah, it’s been a while. Ever since her lusus brought her to this strange facility located deep underground and highly expansive, Erisal couldn’t ever shake the feeling that there was something incredibly important to find down here... Sure, she found some very interesting things, even her ancestor’s own weapons, but there was always that pull towards something much... More.

This was a new part of the lab that she called her hive, there always seemed to be new parts to explore no matter how much she already found, deeper down and close to the geothermal reactors that keep her place running and heated in such a remote location. So much of the stuff here seems built to last for hundreds of sweeps at the least, or at least the critical bits do. Sadly they didn’t really see elevators high up on that priority list... The scars from that little tumble have healed completely, and after getting her scales? It’s hard to even find a trace of the injuries.

Pushing aside some fallen ventilation shaft, making sure the wires and pipes nearby were still functional, clearing away some random debris from the walls and ceiling, Erisal managed to get a large double door cleared and exposed. She clicked on her flashlight and took a peek through the small windows in the doors themselves, seeing what looked to be some kind of huge computer bank or control center or something, with a couple more doors and tables scattered around... If this was the main computer system she’s been looking for all these sweeps, Eri is about to be one happy dragon!

Quickly getting to work cracking the doors open after the electronic locks sealed things shut however the hell long ago this place was abandoned, Eri pops the doors open in a matter of minutes, a small cloud of dust being kicked up from the movement. Waving it away, Erisal points the flashlight inside as she takes a couple steps in to start looking around, noting the massive banks of monitors and interfaces and setup... This HAD to be an information goldmine, and was sure to get some good prices on the black market if she comes across the right data... First thing’s first of course, getting power back to this place. Most areas had some minor backup power solution in place, usually a small nuclear reactor for vital systems to keep running at low power draw once cut off from the main grid. This place couldn’t be much different.

A couple of the doors were locked tight, more deadbolted than anything, and those are way more hassle to get through than they’re worth most of the time, but one had a simple key lock, and the others led nowhere interesting, just some tables and miscellaneous equipment. It takes less than a minute to pop the lock on that door, leading into a maintenance closet, just what she was looking for! Granted it smelled about as good as you could expect from hundred sweep old cleaning supplies and spare parts all stacked up semi-neatly, but Eri could hold her breath for as long as she needed to find those breakers... Always behind a shelf, annoying and hard to reach... God these scientists had some fucked up priorities about building code. Reaching towards the back of the closet and shoving some boxes out of the way, Eri manages a handhold on the main breaker for the room, yanking and grunting as she tries to pull it down in spite of the awful angle and the sweeps of rust and gunk holding it up... Suddenly there’s a shift, Eri cranking it down in an instant and slamming her own head into the shelves, causing a box of something to hit the ground and scatter!

“Owww...” She says aloud to herself as she hears things turning back on, lights and fans and general computer noises, not to mention the area’s ventilation system. A couple of the ceiling lights just plain don’t work anymore, but the ones that do are bright enough to light the room as much as she needs! She rubs her head and looks down, a bunch of spilled bolts and angle brackets littering the floor, something she is NOT cleaning up today, or probably ever. But with the main computer bank turning on, her attention is all on that now! Quickly she steps over to see the main screen going through the boot-up process, making lots of the normal calls for a mainframe starting up, only taking a few seconds to get through it all... But after the normal ones, things get decidedly stranger, making calls to things implying something to do with a brain, and computer intelligence... Nothing she’s ever even heard of before. A few more clicks, and on the main screen it goes black, with some kind of stylized firefly right in the middle of it... Then, a feminine voice from the speakers all around the room.

[“Aahhhh... Someone’s got some explaining to do.”]

That voice is definitely speaking in east Alternian, which is incredibly strange considering what area of the world Eri’s hive is in, is this a broadcast or something? She replies back, in her native tongue as well.

[”Err, I don’t think I’m the one you’re looking for-”] She’s immediately cut off by the voice again.

[”Wha-, hey who in the hell... Uh.”] The voice stops for a moment, both it and Eri in a sort of stunned silence, before it continues. [”Ah, y-yes! Greetings fellow Sedrah, all glory to the Sedeerian Empire!”]

Eri blinks. [”...The hell are you talking about? Who? Sedsomething?”] She grabs a hold of the table and eyes the doors, ready to run if need be.

[”...Wait a sec, you’re not...?”] The voice just breathes a sigh of relief by the sound of it, and starts... Laughing? [”Ahaha, ohhh okay you’re just a troll mutant or something? Or slave? Either way you’re speaking Alternian, east Alternian too, which is weird for this area!”]

[”Oh, I mean, technically? I’m a troll? I think? I was born a troll and can kinda turn back into that form but... Anyways, who the hell are you and where are you broadcasting from, exactly?”]

[”HAH, broadcast, funny. No no, I’m just here. Everywhere. All around you. I am this lab.”] She says, definitely some malice behind the voice this time around, though nothing happens as Eri was expecting.

[”...Well, uh, sorry for waking you up, ma’am! You can call me Erisal, Erisal Torell if you will-”] Eri is cut off again.

[”WOAH woah back up a second... Torell...”] The voice goes silent for a second, then a few more moments, seeming to be almost... Contemplating something. [”...Open up that jacket. Let me see your symbol. I don’t...”]

Erisal just nods, pulling off her jacket and showing her shirt, symbol emblazoned right up on the front of it, in a bright glowing green. [”I mean, is that fine? Did you know something about me or my ancestor or...”]

[”...Hun.”] The screen flickers for a moment, Erisal’s own symbol, the Torell symbol, bright and green comes proudly displayed. [”Thespian Flamefly, at your service!~”]

Eri doesn’t even realize she’s gripping onto the table so tightly, just standing there, not really believing her eyes and ears and kinda lost in her own head... There’s almost a feeling inside of her that it’s true, this is the Flamefly, while the logical part of her is saying ‘shut the fuck up she’s dead as hell’. Maybe this is some kind of weird personal assistant AI or something?

[”...ellooooo? Erisal, you still with us in the land of the... Liviiiiing...?”] She questions herself, seeming pretty unsure about that last part. [”Oh shit, you’ve got a blog! Geeze that’s cute, don’t mind meeee just looking at your activi-”]

[”HEY HEY HEY, YOU STOP, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE GOING THROUGH THAT.”] She says out loud, pointing at the monitor, actually a little flushed with embarrassment. How was she supposed to know that her computer was gonna be wired up to this place?

[”Oh! You’re back, don’t worry I just made a little post, you looked like you were having a moment. Hey, someone replied!”]

[”STOP, DON’T ANSWER IT, I SWEAR TO GOD.”] ...Yeah, this had to be her ancestor.

[”Fiiine, you’re right, I’m a little more interested in you, anyways! Like, you seem a bit up your own ass to be my descendant...”]

[”Oh hush, you’d be a bit uptight if you were in a weird part of a deep underground lab and some fuckin AI of your ancestor started talking to you and being a little bit vaguely threatening and...”] She takes a moment to catch her breath.

[”Okay, point. But I’m not an AI, actually. I am very much real and a living person who’s cheated death, and my body is...”] She stops for a long moment, a couple of disconcerted sounds coming from the speakers. [”...Mmmm I’m gonna need a new one of those.”]

[”Soooo, you’re alive, but you don’t have a body.”]

[”Yep!”]

[”Brain in a jar?”]

[”Oh you’re familiar with the term? Well, it’s not wrong for the situation...”]

[”Ugh, okay, we have way too much to talk about, catch up on, stuff like that, but...”] Eri stands herself back up, looks up a the monitor with her symbol on it, and has to hold back a tear or two. [”I am so, so glad I found you.”]

[”Hey, I’m glad you found me too hun~ But uh, before we get TOO emotional? Can we work on getting me a new body first? Oh, and by the way?”]

Eri just brushes the tears from her eyes and shakes her head, knowing how silly she must look. [”Right right, I have some Ideas. And shoot.”]

[”You can call me Sengsi. Much less formal~”]

[joyfullynervouscreator]

Silver Secret pt2

By popular demand, chapter two of Silver Secret!

@life-is-righteous @filisleftmustachebraid @littlemergirl4779 @aidanturnersass @childoftheshire @ilikechocolatemilkh

“Mjoll?” Fíli’s voice was quiet, but you stiffened anyway, an ember of fury lighting in your gut. Had you not told him never to speak to you again?! Beside you, Ori squeaked, making to get up and go elsewhere, but your powerful grip on his thigh stopped him from leaving the bargeman’s table where you’d been mending a few articles of torn clothing. On the other side of the table, Dori looked up with a glare. Behind you, Fíli sighed. “Look, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m sorry, I really am… sorry.” You did not look up, did not acknowledge his words, ignored him completely.

Once, you’d thought you knew what was in his heart, but obviously you’d been mistaken, and now… you thought you might break if you had to look at him. Firmly telling yourself that you did not love him one bit had done little to change the heart that had stubbornly belonged to him since you were old enough to understand the meaning of love – even the past five years of careful distance had not changed your mind, had done nothing to stop the way your heart beat a little faster when you saw the sunlight catching in his golden hair, knowing how softly the strands would glide through your fingers.

“I think, Prince Fíli,” Dori’s voice was frosty, and you suddenly realised that without knowing how, you’d come under the same maternal aegis of protection as Dori. It made you feel warm; Dwalin had found you as a small dwarfling, begging for food after Jofur had been taken away by the bad men, but he was single, so you’d never had a real amad, even if Dwalin was the best adad a little girl could want. “- best get you gone now. Mjoll was quite clear that she did not wish to speak with you anytime soon.” You’d missed some of Dori’s tirade, though you caught sight of Dwalin nodding silently over the tailor’s shoulder. Smiling gratefully at Dori, you returned your focus to the stitches you were making in Dwalin’s undershirt, wondering how he’d managed to burst the especially reinforced shoulder seams you’d made before the Quest began. Not many knew it, but Dwalin couldn’t sew to save his life, and he’d made sure you were taught – Balin had some skill with a needle, but it had been the Dowager Queen Frís who had shown you how to work thread and cloth together to make durable clothes – all the skills he didn’t know, though he had personally trained you in every weapon imaginable, turning you into one of the best warriors in Thorinuldûm. You heard Fíli’s steps shuffling behind you, but he didn’t say anything else, and eventually peace was restored.

 “She won’t even acknowledge my existence,” Fíli whined. Beside him, Kíli was looking feverish – Thorin had demanded he go to bed until he was doing better – but he sighed anyway.

“Did you apologise?” he asked hoarsely.

“I tried to, but she wouldn’t hear me!” Fíli cried. “Dori made me leave. Mahal, Kee, what if she never speaks to me again?” he groaned, hiding his head in his hands. “Mjoll wouldn’t even look at me…”

“If at first you don’t succeed…” he began, nudging Fíli when his older brother didn’t continue Amadel’s favourite response every time they’d come home complaining that something was too hard. Fíli sighed, giving his brother a tortured look.

“Try, try again.” Fíli drawled. Kíli nodded.

“She’s Mjoll, Fee, did you really think she wouldn’t put up a fight?” the archer added, slightly condescending in Fíli’s opinion. He scowled, but Kíli just kept looking at him like Fíli was the daft one. Playing with the small pendant on its chain, catching the light of the setting sun as the silver disc spun in the air, the small jade mountain with its silver snow and the stylized eagle in flight nearly coming alive; the runes of her name standing out starkly every time that side caught the low light.

 Kíli should not have gone inside the armoury, you thought, looking at him. His brow was beading with sweat, though he’s carrying less than the weight of his pack. You gave the bandage a suspicious look – was the wound worse than you had thought? Clearly Thorin’s mind followed the train of yours, stopping Kíli as he was about to hand his nephew another sword.

“You all right?” he asked, frowning. Kíli nodded, but you were not convinced, moving to offer your help.

“I can manage. Let’s just get out of here.” Kíli said harshly, which was unlike him. Frowning, you watched him turn before you could reach him and make for the stairs. You watched it happen in slow-motion, as though time itself had slowed to the consistency of treacle, watched his leg buckle beneath him, the weapons flying from his grip as he uttered a pained cry; the sound nearly drowned by the loud clanging of metal striking metal and wood as the weapons continue to fall, hitting every step with a sound that made you wince.

“Run!” Dori gasped out, but you had no time to do so, had no means of fighting your way past the well-armoured guards who levelled pikes and spears at you. One of them had grabbed Kíli, holding a blade to his throat. Thorin growled.

 For a moment, you thought all was lost, as you were being dragged before the Master of this pitiful town. You had travelled with caravans, and you’d thought you’d seen Men brought low, but this town was one of the worst you had ever seen, the hollow-cheeked faces that stared at you only confirming what you had already thought; Bard using your money to buy fish was an act of desperation; not for your sake, but for the people of the town, who obviously did not have enough to feed themselves well. You had wondered at the time, why Alfrid didn’t ask him how he’d paid for the fish, but you’d waved it off as minor oddity; now you were beginning to think he had only objected to be seen to object, a thought reinforced by the sheer theatricality of the scene before you; the fat Master of Laketown trying to appear grand, but falling far short of the mark. Haughtily, you smirked; Thorin was far more dignified, even standing before the Men with little more than the clothes on his back and a head filled with dreams of a better future to offer them. You smiled. Your King knew what it was to starve, and you felt proud to be one of his subjects, watching him masterfully play the crowd.

 You sat quietly throughout the party, watching from the shadows as Bofur taught some of the Lakemen a merry jig. Kíli pretended to be unaffected, but you could see the strain in him, caught the way his mug of ale wasn’t refilled a single time throughout the night. Beside him, Fíli sat, the sight of him in the light of the candles enough to make your blood heat – you squashed the thought ruthlessly, blaming the weak thing these Men called ale and went to find Dwalin, engaging him in a spirited retelling of your battle with the Goblins that made quite a lot of the women gasp with awe, staring at his bulging muscles. Spending the night with merry laughter and story-telling might not fit your mood, but it was better than pining for your prince and catching yourself feeling for the familiar weight of your necklace. As you tried to sleep, you wonder what had happened to it, whether Fíli had already thrown it away or not.

 In the morning, you’d been dressed in armour; it was ill-fitting, but better than mere cloth you told yourself, striding along beside Dwalin towards the docks, where you’d been told you would find a boat to sail across the Long Lake. The Master generously gifted you supplies to reach the Mountain, though you were certain he did so only because the townsfolk favoured you; an attempt at winning their goodwill, nothing more. A few musicians attempted to liven up the chilly autumn morning, but you did not feel cheered, worried about the pale face of Kíli, who seemed worse than the day before.

“You do know we’re one short,” Bilbo pipes up suddenly, looking around in alarm, “where’s Bofur?” You hadn’t even realized he was missing, too worried about Kíli, whose night of rest seemed to have done little good.

“If he’s not here, we leave him behind.” Thorin replied, his eyes turned toward the lonely peak that seemed at once so close and impossibly far away. For a moment, Bilbo looked angry – an incongruent expression on his face, you mused – before both your attentions were stolen by Balin.

“We have to, if we’re to find the door before Durin’s Day. We can risk no more delays.” That was putting it bluntly, you knew, though he was indubitably right. Still, it sat ill with you to think of leaving a member of the Company behind, opening your mouth to offer to run back and look for Bofur – perhaps he was still passed out drunk? Dwalin’s arm around your shoulder made the words stick in your throat, as he easily lifted you onto the boat, swiftly following along. You’ve been on boats before, but it hadn’t happened often; for a moment, all your focus is spent on keeping your balance as you move to the front end; Bombur would have to sit in the middle, the fishermen had decreed, to ensure the boat did not tip over.

“Not you. We must travel with speed, you will slow us down.” At first, the words did not register, but when you looked back, you saw Thorin’s hand on Kíli’s shoulder, gaping as you realized he was serious; Kíli swayed a little. Concern lurked in Thorin’s blue eyes, though you did not think Kíli saw it; he was grinning as though Thorin was joking.

“What are you talking about?” he objected, “I’m coming with you.” Staring at the two dark heads, you already knew Thorin would not find the words to convey what was in his heart, would not phrase his command in a way that conveyed his deep concern. Growing up close to the princes, you had heard more than one account of Thorin’s wooden and stiff wording hurting feelings when he meant to be soothing; you saw it happening before your eyes in that moment. At the other end of the boat, Fíli had turned around too, his shoulders stiff as he waited for Thorin’s verdict.

“No.” Just that; simple denial. You gaped; even for Thorin, that was harsh.

“I’m going to be there when that door is opened,” Kíli assured him, “when we first look upon the halls of our fathers,” but Thorin is not swayed, not even by his name turned into a fervent plea, “Thorin…”

“Kili, stay here. Rest,” Thorin tried, but you knew Kíli wasn’t listening; this moment was the one the both of them had dreamed of for so long, you knew. Around you, the Company were silent. Thorin offered some comfort, though it fell on deaf ears, “Join us when you’re healed.” No one spoke as Thorin stepped onto the boat, but then Óin scrambled off, coming to stand near Kíli.

“I’ll stay with the lad. My duty lies with the wounded.” He tried to examine the prince, but Kíli would have none of it, staring after Thorin with an expression of abject betrayal on his face.

“Uncle, we grew up on tales of the mountain.” Fíli tried to object, but even he knew it would be pointless, you knew, seeing the glance he shot his brother. “Tales you told us. You can’t take that away from him!”

“Fili.” Thorin’s voice is hard, but clear; this is the King’s will, and it will be done, you knew, no matter how it made your heart bleed to see Kíli so defeated.

“I will carry him, if I must!” Fíli cried, but Thorin was implacable. Dwalin’s hand found your arm, squeezing lightly. You looked up at him, knowing he’d read the sadness in your eyes.

“One day you will be king,” Thorin sighed, “and you will understand. I cannot risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf, not even my own kin.” Fíli simply stared at him, horrified. Looking back at Kíli, he suddenly stepped off the boat, throwing off Thorin’s restraining arm.

“Fili, don’t be a fool.” Thorin demands. You wished for someone to give you the power to turn back time, to make him see what his words were doing. “You belong with the Company.”

“I belong with my brother.” Fíli didn’t look back at his uncle once, simply taking his place beside Kíli. For a moment, you tried to join them, but Dwalin’s hand pulled you back down as the boat is pushed away from the dock.

Musicians were playing, and the Master was making some sort of speech, but you could only stare in silence as the three Dwarrow on the quay were joined by a panting Bofur, while the Men around you cheered your departure. “...Bring good fortune to all!” You caught the last words from the Master joining the Company in waving at the Men as the boat picked up speed, but in your chest your heart was torn. This wasn’t right. With effort, you pretended not to notice the way Fíli’s eyes were burning his gaze into your soul, keeping your attention on Kíli. Just as you turned a corner, the crowd blocking your view, Kíli’s leg buckled. You gasped, but there was nothing you could do; the Lakemen getting smaller as you sailed out onto the Long Lake.

(If I’ve missed out tagging someone, i’m sorry, but I haven’t written a taglist for this fic...)

The currently published chapters [1]  [2]  [3]  [4]  [5]  [6]  [7]  [8]

[unicornmagic]

Vampire shoujo Mischa

@minimoonstar replied to your post:  Aw i’d’ve liked to see vamp Mischa XD;

Oh, well, just for you!   A very belated birthday present?  XD; 

With the disclaimer that the fic as a whole will almost certainly die a WIP due to lost momentum, here's a fragment of the shoujo manga sequel to “Terroir.”   

They met, at Mischa's suggestion, by the piano at Nordstrom.  Will nearly turned and fled before making it through the double doors.  Between work, hiding at home, and dinners with Hannibal, he'd nearly managed to insulate himself from the oncoming holiday, but in a department store there was no escape.  He had to dodge a relentless stream of shoppers--some of whom looked as haggard as he felt--and circumnavigate a display of stylized reindeer clad in garlands and Burberry scarves.  

At the central lounge a white-haired man in jacket and tie was playing "Baby, It's Cold Outside" from memory on the baby grand.  Mischa stood near the piano, flanked by Chiyoh.  At the sight of Will she hopped forward and waved.

"Thank you for agreeing to come," she said.  "Are you feeling better?"

"Still kicking,” said Will.  He didn't add that his condition would improve upon exiting the store.

"I love a good suburban mall,” Mischa said, beaming.  “They feel so authentically American.  Hannibal hates them--I can never persuade him to come."

"So are you here for shopping, or just...tourism?"

"Both," she said.  "This way."

She steered them to the men's coats as if she'd charted the route in advance by GPS.  When she delved into the racks she seemed to know exactly what she was hunting for.  

The coat was grey, neither light nor dark, softly intermediate.  Will touched the material, a blend of cashmere and wool.  It felt good under his fingers.  He could picture Hannibal's fingers on it, Hannibal being the one to slide his hands over the shoulders, down the sleeves.

The label under the collar read "BOSS."  Will tried to imagine being the kind of person who wanted or needed to wear a coat that declared itself "BOSS" in all caps.  He glanced at the price tag and managed not to curl his lip, if only just.  He shed his old jacket and shrugged the coat on.

Mischa's eyes lit, and she clapped her hands together under her chin.

He tried on a few others, mainly at her insistence--a navy peacoat and a topcoat in a darker grey--but in the end they returned to the BOSS.

"It suits you," Mischa said, in a tone that sounded uncannily familiar.  "The fit's not bad for prêt-à-porter.  Do you like it?"

"It's fine," he said.  "It's nice."

She plucked it from his hands and made a beeline for the nearest uncrowded register.

Will lurched after her, taken aback by her speed.  He'd forgotten just how fast her kind could move, even when they were trying not to be obvious.  He reached to grab hold of the coat hanger where it dangled from her arm.

"No, no, hold up.  You can't pay for that."

She paused.  "Can't I?"

"I don't care how old you actually are. I'm not letting a kid in pigtails buy me a six-hundred-dollar coat."

Mischa turned to face him, her expression unfazed and bright.  "I'll tell you a secret, Mr. Graham.  This isn't really a present, and it isn't really for you.  It's gift wrap."

It took him a second to follow.  "You think I'm looking to get unwrapped?"

"I don't know.  Are you?"

Will felt a flush spread over his neck.  "He wasn't kidding when he said you were naughty."

"Honestly, I'm not.  I only want my brother to be happy."

Her eyes shone up at him, clear and brown and earnest.  My weakness, thought Will, how did you know.

"Give me that," he said.  He pulled the coat from her grasp.  She let him drape it over his arm with no further fuss.  For a minute they stood in silence together, waiting in line for the register.  Will spread his hand over the front of the coat.  

Eventually he said, "I haven't gotten him anything."  If he'd thought about it, he wouldn't have assumed he and Hannibal were at the present-giving stage.  Or that he'd be able to suss out anything worth giving to someone who could afford everything.  Trying to choose a bottle of wine to bring when Hannibal made him dinner was enough of an exercise in futility.  Coals to Newcastle.  "I'm not very good at presents."

"Oh, it's easy.  If you want to give my brother something--besides yourself in a handsome coat--ask him for something."

He gave her a sideways look.  "Isn't that backwards?"

"Trust me, Mr. Graham.  I've been his baby sister longer than you've been alive.  He likes to be indulgent.  It's one of his favorite things."

"You should probably be calling me Will," he said. Then, after a pause,  "Not sure how good I am at being indulged.  Not a lot of experience."

"So, why not try it and see?"

Why not, thought Will.

Mischa wandered away, attracted by the herd of Burberry deer.  By the time Will had paid for the coat, she'd disappeared entirely.  It was Chiyoh who came to re-collect him as he strayed among the racks.  

She glanced at the shopping bag on his arm.  "You got what you wanted?"

"She did," said Will.  Chiyoh said nothing, but some of the coolness in her expression seemed to thaw.

Without another word she led him to the entrance of the store and just beyond it, to a kiosk standing in the middle of the mall.  Mischa was there, bent over the kiosk's display case with an expression of abject woe.  She looked so tremulous--comically so--that it was on Will's lips to ask what was wrong, but then she caught sight of him and Chiyoh, and brightened.

"Look what I found!  Will, do you like macarons?"

Approaching the kiosk, he glanced at the rows of colored cookies under the glass.  To his eye they looked like little pastel hamburgers.  He shrugged.

"Never tried one."

It was as if he'd backhanded her across the face.  Even Chiyoh looked at him askance.  Mischa clutched her handbag to her chest.  

"Oh! I'd have brought a box from Ladurée if I'd known.  But you'll try one now, won't you?  Since you wouldn't let me get you the coat.  Chiyoh, erabu no tetsudatte?"

"They won't be any good," said Chiyoh, but she stepped up to survey the flavors as Mischa tugged at her sleeve.

"You don't know that."

Will drew back a pace to give them room, and then another.  It felt like a greater distance.  He watched them standing side by side, near enough to one another that their shoulders bumped: the girl in her pale coat, the woman in the dark one.  How far back would you have to peel those black sleeves, he wondered, before a set of twin fang marks would show? Or the high, stiff collar--how far would that have to bend to expose the bite wound on the neck?

Mischa turned.  She was speaking; he heard the sound of words as if from behind a thick pane of glass or underwater.  She held out her arm.  

There was something in her hand.  It wasn't hers, he knew: she was only the messenger, delivering.  He mirrored the gesture, and she laid the thing in his palm.  He stared down, startled by its starkness, by the deep purplish red against his skin.  The color of contusion.  It weighed almost nothing, and that startled him, too: he'd thought it would be heavier, full as it was.  The insides would be viscous and thick.  

As he stared the thing began to ooze, slowly at first and then with increasing urgency, like a bud unfolding in time-lapse at sickening speed.  The dark red welled and coated his hands--there was no way to contain it--and then the thing pulsed, once, then again, and with a lurch Will realized he'd been wrong to think it dead.  It was alive, all this time, still beating, still alive--

"Will?"

Blood pounded in his ears.  He blinked.  

Bright brown eyes peered up at him.  "Are you all right?  Do you not like raspberry?  We got lots of flavors, if you want to try something else."

The noise in his head receded abruptly, water down a drain.  In its place came the tinny strains of muzak from the nearest store:  the Carol of the Bells.  His collar felt tight around his neck, constricting. His ears and throat were hot.  He passed a hand over his face, knocking his glasses askew.  He'd forgotten he was wearing them, his flimsy extra shield against crowds, noise, invasive stares.  

"Sorry," he said.  

Mischa hovered in front of him.  "You don't look well.  Would you like to sit down?  There's a bench just this way, here--"

He let himself be herded.  The front of the bench collided with the backs of his knees.  Once he was seated, Mischa handed off the box of macarons to Chiyoh.

"I'll run and get you both something to drink.  Back in a tic."

In a flash she was gone.  She'd used her true speed, blinking in and out of visibility, like a skipping stone across the surface of a pond.  A few heads turned, but it wouldn't be the first time residents of suburban Baltimore had seen a vampire at the mall, in a rush like any other last-minute shopper.

Will leaned over his knees, waiting for a sense of solidity to return to him.  Chiyoh sat down beside him, placing the box of macarons between them on the bench.  

He licked his lips.  "What was I..."

"You were staring," said Chiyoh, "unresponsive.  As if in a trance."

"For how long?"

"Long enough to seem strange."

He drew a breath and released it slowly.  "Sorry," he said again.  "I'm a little off my feed."

Her eyebrows inclined only slightly, as if to say that any bizarre behaviors he might exhibit were hardly worth troubling herself or anyone else.  

"Hannibal has always had a taste for curiosities," she said.

"Curiosities," echoed Will.  "And what about your taste?"  He jerked his chin at the box of macarons.  "Do you even like those things?"

"They're extremely sweet," she said.

"So let me guess.  You eat the cookie, then cookie monster eats you?"

The stare she leveled at him was a flat, dark wall.

"What I haven't figured out is whether this is standard vampire behavior," Will said, "or Lecter family tradition.  The vicarious consumption."

"Wouldn't you be the expert on vampire behavior?  Considering your work."  Before he could open his mouth again, Chiyoh continued.  "Hannibal had many years to experience life as a human.  Mischa, not so many.  I don't begrudge her anything.  The family takes care of its own."

"But they haven't 'given you the gift.'"

"Not yet."

Mischa returned with a bottle of Perrier and hot tea in a disposable cup.  She passed the tea to Chiyoh and the water to Will, leaning nearer to take an unobtrusive sniff.  She frowned.

"My nose isn't as good as Hannibal's, but I do think you smell feverish.  I'm so sorry, I never should have dragged you out when you're still unwell."

"I'll be okay," said Will.  "Thanks for the water."  He raised the bottle to her in a feeble toast, then unscrewed the cap and drank.  

"It's the least I could do.  You should go and see my brother.  Have him give you a bit more of his blood.  That'll set you right, whatever it is."  She laid her hand on his sleeve with a gentle pat.

Will went still.  

Confusion caught him only for a moment.  The denial, the what do you mean by more died unspoken in his mind.  His eye fixed on the paper cup in Chiyoh's hand.  He remembered Hannibal in the kitchen, the motion of pouring tea obscured by his broad back, by Will's inattention in the moment.  The taste of earth and mineral, subterranean dark.  

His throat closed.  He gripped the neck of the green bottle in his fist.

"Will?"

He couldn't look at her.  He pushed his glasses up on his nose and arranged his mouth into a smile.

"Good idea," he said.

The cold clench of his insides helped to steady him.  When he stood up from the bench he didn't waver on his feet.  Chiyoh stood with him, and Mischa protested:  did he feel well enough to drive?  He hadn't even tried his macaron, he must take it with him.  

Looking down, he found the red thing again in his hand.  He could see now that it wasn't a heart.  He brought it to his mouth.  When he bit into it, the shell crumbled.  The taste was cloying, the texture like sugared ash.

*

[proseasmic]

Inarrêtable - XIX

As sour as Adrien was about having to be around Luka and Marinette, he knew he couldn’t let Nino down. Besides, seeing Luka obtain a swift defeat by his best friend’s mad DJ skills would sweeten the situation a little more, and he didn’t want to miss that. Even so, he felt like a third wheel hanging out with both Nina and Alya, who was of course there to support her boyfriend and to film it for her blog. The two rattled on about this, that and the other thing as Adrien led them through the TV studio to the stage. His heart squeezed in his chest a little harder when she saw Marinette adjusting the collar of Luka’s shirt as they had an easy conversation with each other.

Man, that was never not difficult…

The month after the dance had been the longest of Adrien’s life. He and Marinette hadn’t been on speaking terms at school, and despite his efforts to try and make up with her, she was conveniently busy every time he made a move to apologize. He visited her as Chat Noir once or twice, but since his behaviour the last time he saw her where he’d kissed her hand, he felt like he’d burned that bridge, too. The only solace he had, for the most part, was his patrols with Ladybug, but even those felt stilted as he knew he needed to give her respectful distance, and she seemed to be preoccupied with something anyway. Ladybug had even seemed a little off with his civilian self, as well; the one time she happened to be around during an Akuma attack before he had a chance to transform, she just told him to get to safety, not sparing him much more than a glance when he was used to so much more from her.

Nino had forgiven him right away for the events at the dance after he explained what happened, but Alya had taken a little longer. Once he was able to sit her down and explain exactly how everything happened, she was tentative but promised not to hold it against him. He supposed her reason for being so stern about it was because of Marinette. Adrien didn’t need telling twice; he knew that he’d hurt her, and he knew he’d be paying for it for a long time.

Adrien found his way to the elevator, pressing the button for the highest floor he could go to get to the roof and he stepped onto it, enjoy the silence surrounding him. He leaned against the cool steel wall, closing his eyes, but before the elevator could close all the way, he heard someone call, “Hold the door!”

He looked up and saw Marinette, managing to worm her way through the closing doors, and he froze for a second as she caught her breath before she baulked at the sight of him. It was the first time they were face to face since their fight at the dance.

“Oh,” she said awkwardly, glancing down at her feet. “Sorry… um, I’ll just—”

She turned around to walk through the doors, but they’d already closed. He heard her sigh.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’ll leave you alone. I’m just going up to the roof to get some air.”

“Me, too,” Marinette said softly, leaning against the opposite wall from Adrien.

“I can get off at the next floor if you want,” Adrien said. “I don’t want to bother you or anything—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Marinette said quickly. “Don’t let me stop you.”

The pair of them stood in silence as they made their (agonizingly) slow ascent. Adrien fiddled anxiously with the ring on his right hand and Marinette was doing the same with her earrings, nervously turning the studs in her ears. They glanced at each other and ceased their fiddling with an awkward start, suddenly realizing they were in such close quarters.

“So,” Adrien ventured slowly, not liking the way the silence was pressing in on them. “Uh… how’s Luka?”

“What?” Marinette said distractedly. “Oh. Um. Good! Yeah, he’s good.”

“That’s good,” Adrien supplied casually.

“How’s Kagami?” Marinette asked.

“Huh?”

“You two are dating, aren’t you?”

“What?” Adrien’s eyes went wide. “N-no, we’re not dating… where did you hear that?”

“You took her to the dance,” Marinette said pointedly.

“As a friend,” Adrien clarified.

Marinette nodded slowly. “Right; sorry, I’m sure you mentioned it that night, I just… assumed.”

The silence stretched on for a long time again. Adrien wanted to say something, anything at all, to let her know how sorry he was for the way he’d behaved at the dance, but he didn’t know what else he could say. Eventually, he sighed and opened his mouth to speak.

“Look, Marinette, about the dance—”

“Adrien, about that night—”

They both started talked at the same time, cutting each other off, and they chuckled a little awkwardly, not looking at each other.

“You go ahead,” Adrien said.

“No, no, please,” Marinette replied. “You go.”

“Okay,” He took a deep breath. “About the dance? I just wanted to say how so—“

A sudden lurch of the elevator car accompanied by a loud groan cut off Adrien’s words and effectively caused Marinette to tumble into him. He caught her before she face planted, Adrien shielding her head with his arms as they toppled to the ground. She was pressed against his chest as the elevator ground to a halt, ceasing its rocking movement and they both noticed with flushed faces how close they were. They only had a second to register this before the lights in the lift suddenly shut off, keeping them in complete darkness for a moment until the emergency lights along the bottom panels of the elevator turned on, giving them just enough lighting to see. As soon as it was still, Adrien quickly let go of Marinette and she pulled back, instantly running for the control panel and pressing a few buttons.

“It’s not working,” she said urgently.

“Dammit…” Adrien grumbled.

“Maybe we can try and pry the door open,” Marinette suggested, and Adrien moved to try and pull the doors apart with his fingers.

He managed to get it open just enough to wedge his shoulder in between, but saw there was only a sliver of the next floor up that was visible, and it was too small for them to crawl out. If only he could transform and use his staff, he’d be able to pry it up… but he couldn’t in front of Marinette.

“We’re stuck,” Adrien said, looking around for another way to get out.

“Do you think it’s an akuma?” Marinette asked.

“Most likely,” Adrien said. “That, or a really bad electrical failure. Don’t worry, I’m sure Ladybug and Chat Noir will be here soon.”

They heard a scraping sound on the next floor up and Adrien immediately pressed himself against the doors of the elevator, Marinette doing the same, so they couldn’t be seen. He looked up to see what it was, and he saw a man dressed in a very stylized firefighter uniform, dragging around a fire extinguisher.

“So, you like to have fun with too many people and too much electrical equipment, huh?” The Akuma said.

Without warning, the Akuma took its extinguisher and pointed it at the elevator, pulling the nozzle and letting a large blast of fire hit the wall and blasting off the top of the elevator car, causing burning debris to fall around them.

“Well… Fire Marshal will show you the detriment of not keeping things… up to code!”

‘I need to transform!’ Adrien thought frantically. But he couldn’t… not in front of Marinette. He weighed his options, looking from the girl huddled in the corner but glancing around with a determined look in her eyes to the now non-existent roof of the elevator. There was no way to get out of this without being Chat Noir… and the Akuma was already looking like it was gearing up for another attack.

‘I may not have a choice… Marinette will know who I am…’

He heard the Akuma cackle as it chose to a new spot to aim the Fire Non-extinguisher (right at the cables holding the car up along the sides) and his mind was made up, knowing there was going to be no going back from this.

‘No sense getting toasted…’ he thought. He took a deep breath, his face burning as he brought up his right hand.

“Plagg, claws out!” He called.

“Tikki, spots on!”

It all happened with a matter of seconds.

The words left her mouth the same time as his, and he whipped his head around to fix her with a look of shock and awe. Marinette was fixing him with the same look, their mouths hanging open as their transformations crackled down their bodies and it took his brain an extra minute to catch up with what was happening before everything clicked. Their transformations complete, they gaped at each other wordlessly before they could find their voices.

“IT’S YOU?” They yelled in unison, pointing at each other.

--------------

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