#I am also aware that like really what I need to fix my bones is WD40 and not yknow a good wash and dry cycle

[songofwizardry]

just moved into a new place that has a washing machine that *has a dryer* and in addition to the convenience of washing sheets, I am now convinced that all I need is to put all my bones into the washer-dryer for a good spin. and then they will be warm and sorted.

[dredshirtroberts]

To be so clear I am also regularly in denial about how much pain i'm just in

even with meds, even with rest, even if I haven't done anything in a week, even if i did only good things the day before, even if the exercise was necessary

buuuuut the meds do take the edge off (still in pain but less which is a net good) and i can always tell when they've worn out (naproxen SAYS it's good for 8-12 hours and I get Maybe 7.5 on a good day). I'm attempting to change to preemptive pain relief from chasing pain constantly and it's hard. But we're getting better.

speaking of which. Naproxen time.

i think i'm like. really in denial sometimes about how much pain i'm just Casually In...

OH NO WAIT HANG ON WAIT ACTUALLY MY MEDICINE WORE OFF AND I DID LIKE A LOT OF UNANTICIPATED ACTIVITY NEVER MIND I'M DUMB I'M HURTING FOR ACTUAL REASONS THIS TIME

[blackberries45]

Okayy I’m back haha, thank you so much for your response and absolutely please don’t feel pressured to if you’re not comfortable but could I request Beetlejuice just like talking you through it and giving praise😭😭 I’m a sucker for him honestly 🖤

Sooooo absolutely just ignore this if it's not what you asked for and or sucks 🤣 I am so sorry this took so long and also that it turned into a short fic. Thank you so much for asking this 🖤

I'd also like thank @hederasgarden for letting me kinda circle and be encouraging. @liquidloz and @84reedsy for reading it and saying it wasn't trash and @the--blackdahlia for fixing the crazy amount of formatting errors and weirdness because I got on a roll finally and everything went out the window.

Brava Ragazza

Notes: I'm terrified to read it again because I'll probably delete it from over thinking, so best of luck 😅

Warnings: smut, thigh riding, praise

🖤💜💚🖤💜💚🖤💜💚🖤💜💚🖤💜💚

You sat on the floor staring at the TV. It had been too long of a day, and you were completely vegging out now. Your elbows were resting on your coffee table, and your head was between your hands. You couldn't even tell what was actually on because you were just staring at this point. A solid hour had probably gone by, and you hadn’t moved a muscle. You did know instantly, however, when he was sitting behind you on the couch.

 “Hey,” it was so blasé. “Do you need something?” you asked him without even turning around.

 “No, but you do. Make me stick around for a minute."

 “Ok,” you said, still staring at the TV and not really giving it much thought. You melted yourself down so your head was just resting on your arm across the table as you lazily said his name three times. Now you were aware you were watching Friends, sideways. 

Not caring to reposition, you started speaking without much thought. “I'm surprised you're around today. You seemed rather jealous of that guy I had over a few nights ago.” 

Before you had time to realize what was happening, your head was being yanked backward by your ponytail into Beetlejuice’s crotch, now looking upside down at him. He blew a puff of smoke in your face. 

“I don't get jealous babes. Now come up here so I can show you why,” he released your head but you were sitting back up too slowly for him. Snap! You were suddenly straddling his left thigh. The quick motion caught you off guard and your arms fell forward to grab his shoulders to steady yourself. His eyebrow raised in amusement, 

“You good?” he asked as he slightly turned his head to take another drag of his cigarette. “Now here's what's going to happen,” he slowly blew out the smoke. “I'm going to have you grind yourself as hard as you can into my thigh. I'm going to show you why I can do more just sitting here than that little shit could have done with his whole body.” 

“But Beej, I didn't even sleep with him!” You started to protest. 

“Yeah honey but you wanted to.” The protest on your face quickly dropped, you know he was right. You didn't really care about the guy you honestly by that point just wanted to get off but it never worked out. He was way too annoying and the embarrassment the next morning wouldn't have been worth it. You started to protest again but this time your voice came out quietly 

“I think I'm too heavy to be on  you like this and..” 

“The fuck you talking about? I'm literally a..” 

“And also,” you interrupted him, “This is really exposing. And we haven't even done anything before. I honestly didn't even know you could do anything” That sent him into the ultimate rage. He snapped again and you were naked except for your bra. “Oh my god!” You started to push yourself up to get off him but he grabbed you by the waist and slammed you back down onto his thigh. The instant hard pressure against your pubic bone sent tiny sparks up to your stomach, but you started to say his name in protest again. “Beetle…” Snap! Your mouth was sewn shut. 

“Oh no honey, we are way past that.” His eyes went from blue to dark stormy gray. “Move!” you looked at him with giant wide eyes and slightly shook your head. He got it now. You weren't protesting because it was him. You just didn't know what to do.

“Oh! You are such a good girl that you haven't done something like this before, is that it?” you nodded your head but also gave away with your eyes that you liked when he called you a good girl. He picked up on it instantly. He slowly looked at you from your exposed flesh on his striped suit-covered pant leg, all the way up to your eyes, and then stared into them intently.

 “I want you to move your hips and grind down like I’m fucking you.” Your eyes widened and your cheeks wet dark red. He put his hand up to your cheek and rubbed his thumb across your bottom lip stitches, as he softened his eyes for a split second before commanding.  “Move.”

You swallowed harshly as his hand left your cheek and rested on your hip bone. The sensation of his cool hand on what felt like your now burning skin helped you to get a little nerve back. 

You held onto his shoulders as you started to just slowly move your hips. Beej slightly leaned back again against the couch making it harder for you to hold on to his shoulders, causing you to lean more forward. This caught the front of you right up against him where you hadn't felt yet. A little noise escaped your throat.  

“You're being such a good girl for me,” Beetlejuice sneered. A cigarette appeared back in his hand again. He could tell that it was hitting your clit this time and how hard you were trying not to let your eyes show it. His grip on your hip grew harder and he started pushing you back and pulling you forward, setting a pace for you to match. As tiny noises started coming up your throat, he started to darkly and lowly laugh. 

Annoyance at your circumstance and now him laughing at it caused you to let go of his shoulders. Your right hand landed right between the crease of his leg and pelvis. You squeezed him, causing him to jerk slightly. Your left hand reached for his tie. Gripping it and yanking him to your face you glared at him. With your mouth still stitched shut and your eyelids heavy, half from the heat that was building in you and half from the hatred you had for Beej at the moment, you almost looked as menacing as he did. The whole thing however was getting Beetlejuice more and more turned on. 

You tried to tell him something, but all that came out was mumbled through your shut mouth. 

Beej snapped as he kept staring into your eyes, inches away from you. You leaned your head back and breathed a deep breath through your mouth and into your legs as you got the courage to look at him again and say, “please help me”.

The look he gave you was probably the same one he had given others right before he killed them. But for you, it was something completely different. 

“Thought you’d never ask” He steadied you with the hand still on your hip, but gently moved his free hand down your stomach. He was cold, but his ring was colder. He was giving you time to anticipate what was coming, but also giving himself a moment, as he was easily going to come any minute at the site of you like this.

His hand slowly turned and his long middle finger found the spot you needed. Again, the coldness of him against your rubbed raw hot flesh added to everything. A slight whimper escaped your lips as you leaned forward and rested your forehead against his. You closed your eyes and heard Beej whisper, “Good girl,” again. He moved his hand forward slightly so he could use more of your wetness. He pumped his fingers into you a few times and then slid his middle finger back to where you needed it. You couldn't help moving your hips to the same patterns as he was circling you. 

After a few minutes, your legs were getting tired and your breathing labored. He could tell and knew he had to make you come or you'd be too tired to get there. 

“Please…” you whispered as he started making faster circles. His pants were now starting to get wet spots forming from you but also where he was starting to pre cum as well. “Can't you just help me please?” You were getting desperate and whiny. He knew he could get you there in this position, it would just take a second more.

”I will gladly fuck you anytime and anywhere babe,”  he let out a groan, “but right now is about you… and you're being… such a good girl…” His words were getting desperate as well. He knew if he could get you off that he would get off too. 

With your foreheads still touching, and your eyes still closed, Beej nuzzled your nose and then put his lips against yours. You kept your eyes tightly shut so you could concentrate on all the different movements and sensations at once. Just as you started to kiss him back, he put as much pressure as he could against you, causing you to grind as hard as you could into his fingers and thigh. 

“Good girl,” He whispered again after he broke the kiss., causing your eyes to flutter open momentarily before you closed them as he crashed against your lips again. Your moans were escaping into his mouth as he deepened the kiss and somehow got faster and faster with his movements until you both couldn't keep up with your making out and you were both bursting.

Your head dropped to his shoulder, panting as his eyes were rolling back and his head flopped against the back of the couch. His movements slowed down instead of ending abruptly. And when you stopped rocking your hips, he removed his hand and brought it to your lips. You opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue, amazed at your own willingness to continue to please him. He stuck his fingers in your mouth gently to clean your juices off of him. Putting your lips around them, he pumped them a few times in and out, his ring hitting your lips as he pushed them back in. When he was finished and pulled them out, you gently rolled yourself off his thigh and onto the couch next to him. He snapped for your clothing to come back and then snapped again for a blanket. Resting your head on his shoulder, he turned to you and cupped your face, the ring still freezing against your cheek. He gave you a smirk before his quiet words hit your ears.  

“Brava ragazza.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

So I 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: your casual arrangement turns a bit too serious.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You twist your arm up awkwardly to get leverage on the wall. Bucky’s beard chafes against your throat as he nips hungrily at you. You push your head back, your other hand around his thick bicep as he pumps his hips. Your legs bounce behind him, your feet digging into his ass as you urge him deeper and deeper. 

Your eyes roll up to the ceiling as he pounds you into the wall, growling as he sucks on your neck. You whimper and tug on his hair. Shit! 

“Hey!” You whine and he rams so your voice fizzles. “Fuck!” 

“That’s right, baby. You fucking like it,” he snarls into your skin. “Like the way I mark you up. 

You have no protest as he crushes you into the wall. You bounce against him as you arch your back and tilt your hips. You loop your arm around his head and huff as you ride him. Just a little more. 

He senses the tension and curls his hand under your ass. His other delves between you and he finds your clit. He puts his forehead to yours, staring you down as he tangles your nerves around his touch. You whine out as you crest your apex and dissolve into a spasm of ecstasy. 

Your squeeze your eyes shut as he grunts and groans. He snaps his hips up, over and over, until your bones pang with his force. That looming reminder of his strength engulfs you as you cling to him weakly and he chases his orgasm in a frantic fit. 

When he finishes, he keeps you pinned. Your vision clears and you gasp at the door. Just behind him, the front door failed to catch and an inch remains between the frame. You hit his shoulder and he lets you down reluctantly. He’s so damn impatient. 

You stumble and cup your cunt as he turns to look down at the condom hanging off his dick. He chuckles and rolls it off as you close the door. You slide the chain into place and sigh. You can’t help but wince as your thighs brush together. You face him as he holds up the used rubber. 

“I needed to get that out.” 

“Throw that away.” You shake your head. “Don’t flush it.” 

He rolls his eyes and turns to stomp into the kitchen. His pants hang below his ass. He doesn’t both to fix them. You untangle your own from your ankle and tuck them under your arm. The tail of your blouse is long enough to cover most of you. 

You go to the bathroom and let out the pressure in your bladder. The warmth of your release is soothing. You finish up and go to dump your pants in the hamper.

Bucky’s on the bed, naked, stroking himself and ready for another round. You scrunch up your lips and run your hand down your blouse. 

“Hey, uh, before uh... before that, I think we need to talk.” You say. 

He keeps pumping himself, “thought that’s what we didn’t do.” 

“Yes, that’s what I want to talk about.” You cross your arms. 

He finally stops and pushes himself up on his elbow. He turns onto his side and stares expectantly. 

“Look, this is fun. Lots of fun but it’s a bit much. I... I got that promotion and I’m gonna be working--” 

“I’m not looking for date night. I can be efficient,” he snickers. 

“Bucky, I’m serious. You can’t just show up at the gym like that. You also can’t just barge into the locker room.” 

“Come on, it was a joke,” he sits up all the way. “You’re really ruin the night? I told you, don’t get sentimental.” 

“I’m not the one getting sentimental,” you insist and drop your arms. 

His blue eyes flare and he pushes himself to the edge of the bed. He stands and inhales, his chest puffing out. He marches toward you and waver on your feet. He grabs the front of your blouse and rips it open. You cry out. 

“Relax. You got a promotion. You can replace it.” He tears it down your arms as you yelp in surprise. 

“Bucky, what--” 

“Sentimental? Fuck that. I’ll show you how unfuckingsentimental I am.” He snaps the band between the cups of your bra and you gasp. He untangles it from your arms as you stumble back.  

He pulls you close again, his hand snaking around the back of your neck. He turns you and pushes you against the mattress. He leans on you until you’re forced to bend. He slaps your ass with his free hand and drags it up to your lower back. 

“Condom--” You blurt out as your walls squeeze. 

“Relax, I got it.” He leans over and swipes one from the box on your night stand. 

“Bucky-- can we at least--” 

“No, let’s go back to the fucking basics.” The condom wrapper tears noisily as he growls. He shifts and you try to push yourself up. He forces you back down by your nape and puts his tip to your cunt. “Fuck feelings. Let’s be fucking nasty.” 

He slams into you in a single thrust. Your chest and shoulders wrack as your insides clutch around him. You moan and slap the bed. He hammers into you. The bed shakes, your legs too. There’s no stopping him when he’s like this. You used to like that. Now it’s getting scary. 

He grabs a fistful of your hair and wrenches your head up, your back arching as his speeds up. 

“You wanna use that mouth? You can finish me with it.” He sneers. “But first, I’ll remind you who the fuck I am.” 

[jijunbzz]

Honestly speaking I have no idea how to draw birds but I tried with all my might to edit this sprite. But Hybrids AU I suppose? Also I am not a biologist/zoologist so stuff here is purely hypothetical Basicly in the AU there are Humans and Hybrids leaving in the City (add some singularity messing up the genome in past or something). I had the idea that there are those who almost like humans (aka mammals too) and those who are not. Sinclair as an ornithoid (bird-like type of hybrids, just in case it is not the right translation), is on the "far from humans side" of the deal. In case anyone wonders there are 10 families ( types?) of hybrids there So. What should we know about bird hybrids? Well *fixes my glasses*. - They are, as expected, have a lighter body and fragile bones to be able to fly, so be careful! One harsh kick and they might not get up after that. Though just like with ordinary birds not all of them can fly, some are only able to jump high or just walk around with their huge pretty tails out. It depends on the fact if they have legs or claws, and if they have wings (some have only tail and claws no wings for example, but they're usually really pretty). - Another thing to be aware of it's that their bodies are hotter in temperature also they might eat more often than others. Fast matabolism may be a pain. - Last but important part is that ornithoids need space! A lot of space! Their wings and tails can be huge, especially if they're big birds, so let them stretch those out once in a while! Note to all managers here: don't forget to make a note that they need holes in uniform too

[weaselle]

I once almost stabbed a guy. Being in a position where you are seriously actually for real considering stabbing someone is a wild moment, internally and externally.

So this was way back, baaack in the day, when i went to a lot of parties and also did a bunch of drugs. And my partner at the time and i were scoring some powder drugs from a guy we'd never met before on an acquaintance's sort of recommendation.

and he took so long that our other friend, who also did drugs with us, saw us waiting in the parking lot and stopped to say hi, chatted for a couple minutes, and left.

When the guy finally showed back up, we got a bunch of powder in a taped up zip lock, odd, but our acquaintance had said the product could be trusted, so i handed over a bunch of money and we parted ways

But lo and behold, we get back to the pad, bust out our score, and snort a big ol' victory line ... of chalk dust. It was chalk. Like what you write on a blackboard with. It was ground up to the right consistency, and I had paid a fair bit of money for it, but it was just a big ol bag of chalk dust. Also a sinus full of chalk dust.

Well. Y'know. I took it personal.

The guy was not answering any texts or calls of course (my first text was very reasonable, just sort of "haha, there seems to have been a mistake, but it's an easy fix, you just need to either give me what i paid for or give me my money back) But i was already chasing down other trails

I started backtracking through the acquaintance until i found out where this dealer was. I decide to show up at his door.

As soon as i got his location, i texted him for a third time and it had gotten firmer in tone "hey you either tell when and where to meet you so you can give me what i paid for or my money back, or i'm going to show up where you are and we're going to talk about it in person" Followed 20 minutes later with "I'm parked outside your house on my way to your front door unless you text me back right now."

Okay. i am aware of my situation here. I am about to stare this coked up methed out young twenties dude in his buggy eyeballs at his own front door and accuse him of cheating me on a drug deal. Tee hee hee i'm in danger.

So I came prepared. I had taken a pair of scissors and cut my front right pocket out so i could look like i had my hand casually in my pocket but i could really be holding the handle on an 8 inch knife blade. Which i was.

a line cook with my own knife set, i had chosen this knife, my kitchen utility knife, carefully. I can't find the exact one i had, but this one is very similar

It was long enough to give me significant reach advantage even if he had like a switchblade or pocket knife or something. The size was also selected for intimidation factor. This did also mean that it was heavy enough to slash with, and a good shape for stabbing, with just enough of a heel to act as a solid crossbar and prevent my fingers sliding up over the blade if the tip caught bone on a thrust.

Anyway, i text him as i'm getting out of the car and by the time i'm through his front gate he's running out the front door at me

we both stop in the middle of his front yard, half way between the gate and the front door.

And he's like, quiet-yelling at me, and all up in my face, and threatening me "you're lucky i don't kill you right now"

While i'm thinking my hip pocket is set low and diagonal, if i draw my hand out the right way, my arm will already be in a perfect position to thrust forward with the knife. If he pulls a weapon i have to be ready to get the first strike in

and then I'm like, do i stab him if he hits me? because if i'm fighting without the knife i'm fighting one handed, oh this is not good, how did i think this was going to go!? i have not been as smart as i though i was being.

but i started to realize, he was just blustering and bluffing and sort of panicked. He was definitely not in control of the situation. Which left it to me. And i was weighing whether or not honor meant refusing to be stolen from ripped off or cheated -- and being ready to fight for that. Or if maaaybe real honor was not being the kind of person who stabs another person to death over a stupid drug deal gone wrong.

Oh yeah. To death. If i stabbed him there was going to be a real chance of him dying. I uh. I only know deadly places to hit people with a knife. That's a strange thing you don't think of until you're in that moment, but when you're like, scared of someone, and asking yourself where to strike them with the knife, your list is short and deadly like

across the throat

up through the soft spot under the jaw and into the head

through the diaphragm angled left and up to also get the heart or lung careful don't hang the tip up on the sternum

inside thigh slash for femoral artery

Low front stab for life threatening wound to the intestines

around back same height for possible death through the kidneys careful don't hang the tip up against the spine

Manic slashing back and forth to keep opponent at bay and possibly open up enough wide shallow cuts to bleed them out.

Wherever you pick up your knifing information, there tends not to be a big focus on where to knife someone if you just want to like, scare them away. Or much training on how to stab someone juuuust enough to make them decide to not shoot you. Probably all the knifing information in your head is like "what can i do quickly that will make them dead"

So if I used the knife, it was going to be a real good chance of death, his, unless i fuck it up and he's got a gun, then it's a good chance of it being my death.

And i was like. How much money are we talking. How much money do i decide a human life is worth in this moment. While he threatens me in this weird way, clearly afraid of what his neighbors might hear.

$200? In that moment i thought, man, i would pay two hundred bucks to not have to stab this guy to death right now. And i can! I can walk away from my two hundred bucks and just... not stab this guy. That's a trade i can make right now.

So i said "alright alright, fine, you're right" to myself out loud in the middle of whatever he was ranting about and turned around and left.

I did eventually find out more. Like a month later through mutual acquaintances . Apparently the dude was on his way back to our car with our drugs when he saw our friend stop his car in the parking lot, get out and talk to us for a minute, and leave. And because our friend liked to dress in slacks and a vest and tie (with aviator sunglasses that day) this high on powder drugs dealer got spooked and thought maybe we were undercover and our friend was a cop checking in with us on trying to bust his ass.

So he, paranoid and panicked, goes back to his house and finds something less illegal to substitute, and comes back out and sells us chalk instead. He must have figured the jail time for selling fake drugs had to be less than for real drugs. idk why he didn't just NOT sell us anything, but. That's what happened. And my partner and her friends all were cool with him after they found that out.

But i never was, because he never gave me my money back.

Over hanging out with my so called friends a couple times talkin' bout "oh i already spent it and i'm pretty broke, sorry you know how it is."

And in my head i was like "i could have stabbed you. And i didn't"

But i never did tell him because there wasn't a point, it wouldn't magically make him have $200 (which he didn't have despite selling drugs because when you snort a lot of drugs you tend to be bad with money, and this dude hadn't started off good at it to begin with).

The real lesson was asking myself why was i involved in bad drug deals, and why would my friends be friendly with an asshole who cheated me out of half a paycheck, and relatedly, if my choices had perhaps gotten me deep into a bad lifestyle that i didn't much want to be in, full of people i couldn't trust.

Anyway, that's how i made the only single good decision made by anyone in that whole story, and didn't stab a guy to death over 200 dollars

[significant-narratives]

is william nylander a leo rising or anything like that? I feel like he’s leo-adjacent

alas we do not have a birth time for willy (at least, not that i know of) so i can’t say for certain. i am however willing to walk with you on this path as a bit of a thought experiment! also this got really long, sorry i have chronic Can’t Shut The Fuck Up disease

now, a few disclaimers before we get started:

1) i generally don’t love trying to guess rising signs — this isn’t a judgement on anyone who does, i just find it particularly difficult to do lol. so take everything i say here with a grain of salt

2) i subscribe to the belief that a rising does influence/color the rest of an individual’s chart, so keep that in mind as we delve into this.

3) i am by no means an expert when it comes to astrology and don’t claim to be, and i do pull from various sources when needed to supplement my own knowledge. i am here to have a good time and that’s all! if you have any questions about the sources i use feel free to ask.

okay with that out of the way. willy as a leo rising is interesting! if we look at what such a placement would entail we can see a lot of ‘willy-like’ traits: there’s the courage, confidence and protectiveness associated with any leo placement. high charisma, extroversion, directness. as an ascendant the ‘fixed energy’ of leo tends to manifest in a need to achieve success and stability, and then maintain it. body awareness is another one — understanding how you look and move through space (usually linked to a strong sense of personal style).

(more of a side note, but in terms of physical characteristics, leo risings are often described as tall and broad shouldered, with expressive eyes and strong bone structure. i don’t place as much weight on this aspect of a rising sign, but it’s interesting!)

so, from all this, you could make a strong case for willy being a leo rising! however there’s one crucial thing that isn’t clicking for me: an individual’s rising sign tends to be linked with a public mask / a lens through which they see reality. and i don’t think the way willy presents himself to the public, or what glimpses we’ve seen of his worldview, is quite aligned with leo rising energy specifically.

his white knuckle grip on his ‘i am Chill and Calm and Going With The Flow’ attitude is a little out of line with how leo energy tends to manifest (imo). like one thing about a leo — what you see tends to be what you get and they’re not ashamed to show you that. they’re not (in my experience) all too concerned with persona-building or shielding themselves from being seen. they’re picky about who they give their time and energy to, sure, but like. that’s not quite the same thing. you feel me?

so if he did have a leo rising… i feel like in theory we wouldn’t see a lot of willy’s tendency to keep things very close to his chest and generally not Feel Things In Public. like, think about it. how much do we actually know about william nylander. and how much of what we know came from him. half of the off season content we get that features him comes from alex’s gf’s insta! he’s out here posting pictures of lizards and aesthetic topless photos. it took him eight years and finally securing his place in toronto for the foreseeable future for him to be willing to get even a Little vulnerable with the press and admit just how important toronto is too him, how strongly he’s put down roots here. again you could argue this protective quality is a point in favour of a leo rising placement… but he is also a taurus sun… also is this a good time to say i don’t feel like i’m picking up on that ‘leo rising energy’ trickling down into the rest of his chart? i feel like with a leo rising you’d see a very different manifestation of his gemini venus or libra moon, for example, but that’s just speculation on my part.

it’s also possible the general ‘leo adjacent’ energy you’ve mentioned picking up from him is that gemini venus / aries mars combo of his (i will hold my tongue and not say the word that i’m thinking in my head rn).

tl;dr my verdict on willy having a leo rising: it’s possible but not my favourite choice for him personally! to me i’ve always felt like he gave off water rising energy… (op are you saying this because you are a taurus sun scorpio rising you ask. to which i will say: no comment <3)

[rainbowgod666]

Welcome to the Multiverse

Colors sendable (the first image is from @sizzlingcandyjellyfishhh while thesecond image is from @gaybichon), and also the @wynmu vibes thing. While the divider was made by @sister-lucifer (weird url ik but mines weirder soooo)

To all RPers: my very existence takes the narrative and uses it as toilet paper. The 4th wall is my onahole. You can use the askbox to talk to your blorbos.

To let you get started, here are some of my best posts. Remember that the Ourple ones are KINDA mandatory if you want ANY background on wtf is this blog.

List of my powers / Its the end of the world as you know it (and i did it on purpose) / an admin kicked me off the island lmao / Mental Health Time / That one time i traumadumped to mewo omori about my usual shit / PM Seymour has removed me from his internet. / You Absolute Buffoons / The Numeron Game / Well thats a thing that happened! / Out of touch: leap yeap / 🅱️usiness / Magnus did nothing wrong, except its steven universe / welcome to the internet, SCP edition / #HALLOLLAH# / AMERICA IS FASCIST HEAVEN BECAUSE FUNNY / Lost Childhoods / please save those poor gay americans / Free Disco Elysco / Bone to the bad / Priting Wrojects / the True Range of my abilities / the fuck's an apocalypse knight anyway? / @punkitt-is-here fucked Geronimo Stilton and i think its a good thing / Alex goes batshit insane and forces everyone to do as he says... again 🙄 / Screaming in a Pattern. / wizardposting: because powerscaling needed fuckign Zeno Dragonballsuper apparently / BEN 10 BUT LANCER? FUCK YEAH! / So i went batshit insane again / High Geology / fantasy settings on tumblr are really fucking cool actually / RIFLE. IS. FINE. BUT YOU FUCK UP DESIGN YOU UROD. / i technically claimed ownership of Dr. Bright and Betty from glitchtale do you seriously think im NOT gonna do that for homestuck? / XenasOuch / SCP-8000 contest, OR: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUC- / LEMMINO but like, 8 years ago / Hazbin Hotel: a necessary... something i guess. / the original joke was my brain yapping about predators sooo...

Below is who i am, and also the tags you can (and should) search for

Hi, name's Alex.

Born on the first ever day of 2005 and also having aspergers, i am a guy from italy trying to make it impossible for anyone to spend a day without knowing who i am. Also i literally trascend powerscaling so hard the only things that can even put a DENT on me are... decided by me. Welcome to the multiverse i guess.

DNI: people who support genocide, people who tolerate corporate bullshit, racists, and terfs.

The following list is ALL THE TAGS USED TO NAVIGATE THIS BLOG. Seriously. This masterpost is an explaiantion for the "portal hub" i placed in the search bar

Lore Post: sometimes the lore of the multiverse, sometimes my personal life.

Welcome to the multiverse: sometimes MASSIVE textpost telling everyone "oh yeah right, this dude has autism", usually me existing. tHE MAIN TAG.

Alex's Answering Machine: literally my asks

The magical workshop: turns out the wizards of tumblr are the reason the phrase "some of y'all have gotten too comfortable saying stuff without getting punched for it" exist. And its up to my autistic, protagonism-fueled low self-esteem high self-awareness ass to... fix shit up.

Belowstory: undertale but REALLY FUCKED UP: so basically frisk falls down and is greeted by a feminine voice that calls itself chara (it becomes slightly visible after getting out of the ruins) and like the good boi undertale character he is he proceeds to save the world. This entire thing exists because one time I was like "how fucked up OP can a sans be before its My Immortal levels of wtf?" And uh yeah here we are uuuuuuh sans greets you by pointing a .44 magnum at you so thank the head of the guards (papyrus) for saving you. Everyone here is broken and just wants A Fucking Break. Also you gain levels in pacifist because LOVE is Level Of VirtuE. Fuck you lmao

Undertale.exe: so I looked at Camilla Cuevas being an awful person. Then i looked at the beautiful anime that is @jakei95's underverse... then i smushed it all toghether to basically create the perfect AU. Frisk is a pansexual fuccboi that Has Game, Chara is THICC and powerful, Betty is built like a ballerina and is 1000 years old, and Asriel is a Streemur. All of them live in this house far away from the city thats literally a larger version of sans' house. All charachters can legally drink (prepare for Drunk Chara shenanigans where its Betty Glitchtale the drunk one instead) and the only one who (probably) isnt gay is Asriel (even though frisk covets the Dreemur Dong) (one day soldier, one day...). Many chatachters from many AUs sometimes come to visit cause, you know. Its a nice place.

Curseworld: massive writing project of mine which is just "adventure time shaped mass of autism". The world is cursed and fucked over, and everything is colorful. Its also part Owl House because fuck you the magic system is FUCKED here.

Internet friends: basically internet stereotype-shaped people. We have a furry thats normal, a reddit/discord mod that just wants to work in peace, and the protagonist is Just A Guy but a-ha! He has both an xbox an...d ps5 thus fucking over any CAD reference. The last sketch i made was a mr.monopoly shaped guy who really wants youngsters to actually AFFORD shit who is married to a very obvious reference to Meru the succubus. Also i 100% intend to put a gag about mr beast living in an ATM when he isnt making videos

Im looking respectfully: look. Back then tumblr was basically Rule 34 with twitter users. Now its way better at the cost of a fraction of their value. Have fun looking at attactive women!

TOH:NEXT GENERATION: not even @moringmark's comics are safe! Enjoy the adventures of ayzee commented by me... telling everyone that shes STRONG strong. Like holy shit girl inherited will much?

Warhammer 50k: listen. This is just me looking at games workshop and fucking emperors tts and going "fuck that. Heres mine". This is a project where my "shard" assegned to this universe basically copies the imperium because, and im not joking, "the emperor is kind of a baka, but then again tzeentch is a thing so...". Also btw TTS is canon as SHIT. Like fr its all canon. Yes even the shadowsun fling, let kitten rest.

Pluripotent Impotence: an scp canon of mine thats basically "the foundation is so cold and clinical they MASSIVELY misunderstood shit". 6140, 6500, 5500 and 7000 are canon. 2718 and 5000 are in the files but they basically might as well not exist. 3812 is living tech support. 166 is in her early 20s and 239 is 19 and they fuck nasty (theyre also childhood friends. Girl Love i guess~) because fuck you clef love wins especially yuri go snort telekill dust. 2317 loves humans and thins theyre cute and squishy and when its seventh child turned out to be fucking JoyBoy? Yeah get this: he DID condemn the fortune teller that was like "dude your sevent child is one of those prophecy children that are so in vogue these days" but also messed with fate so that her death ended up being the coolest and most inspiring shit ever because he was like "considering the average Evil King story, i might as well just... let this happen! Maybe i can convince my literal offspring to spare me!" And it fucking worked. Also a bunch of shit is canon. @i-am-dado looks like a Kpop star and is somft. Dr Jack bright is my character and mine alone and also elias shaw is there i guess. My OC bangs the first one of these 2 amulet boys on a regular basis and the second one occasionally, dont ask why is there a gay polycule when im straight, there are some things that escape my mind. I have been in SCP for a long time and regardless of me making my account 6/1/2024 (LA BEFANAH) i have been here longer than you believe in. From my perspective it took a year before a 5000 contest was announced, so fcuk yoyu

Earth-ℵ₀: the best way to take care of the DC and Marvel universes is... let an autistic dude fix damages done by money-hungry idiots in hollywood. The joker is unimportant. Dr.Manhattan is Done With This Shit. I made a squad with random charachters i like. Lmao suck on uranium rods UwU

ytposting: (Funkdela Catalogue: Encounter starts playing)

Omni-shit: ben 10 is actually a good series guys, and the reboot is an interesting way of showing what would Ben 10 Classic look like if it was made Now

1% enhancement: basically i look at something and go like "hey what if the charachters were basically part me but not in a Knights of the Apocalypse way"

Tumblr italia: aò sono italiano che cos'altro vi aspettate

components: basically i use tumblr as image hosting. LoL.

Items: images turned undertale items. For reference, i have 2³¹-1 HP and my stats are ATK 100000 and DEF 65535. Yes the attack is a yugioh zexal reference. NOSTALGIA IS PTSD BUT GOOD.

Mungeon Deshi: dunmeshi is a good anime and marcille is italian

Full Nelson Analchemist: if FMA exists in my presence im going to give the 20k mg weed gummy to Truth

Evangelion 4.0: look, hideki anno has gone insane. Every time he makes evangelion as the most brain damaging version of telling someone to go touch grass people inevitably miss the point. I take it upon myself to give the @jakei95 treatment to the poor creatures (also fun fact: KAWOSHIN CANON. THEY KISS ON SCREEN. FUCK YOU AMERICA.)

The hoes are stuck: homestuck. What you thought they were safe from my grasp? 人間 you havent seen sheiße.

FeeF the BeeB: minecraft mod bullsheiße

[[Nothing Is Worth The Risk]]: lets just say that sometimes, the multiverse isnt that "cool and good"

Ultimate Sonic: i have a Sonic AU where... uhm... just. If i have a post about that. Just look at it. LoL.

Multiverse Polls: i make tHEM-

Autistic and Artistic: (draws happily)

Side effects of reading this blog can vary between true insight into the inner workings of the universe and self-defenestration from the top of the burj khalifa.

Anyways welcome to the multiverse

Do yourself a favour and dont go out without a loaded gun.

[waytooinvested]

Fandom creators tag game

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of? Mostly I write fanfiction. Sometimes I make little needle felted character dolls. Over all proudest is probably still The Hands I Used to Touch (Call the Midwife), but for my current fandom (Supergirl) it's Forgotten, Not Forgiven, as that is my latest big project and home to all the fluffy supercorp that I need in my life (okay not in the published chapters but IT WILL BE EVENTUALLY I PROMISE)

2. What fandom(s) do you create for? Right now just Supergirl, and I have only written three fics for that one so far (but hopefully more to come!) Before that it was Call the Midwife.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it? Supercorp, ie Kara/Lena for Supergirl (I know, I’m so quiet about it on this blog you would never have guessed). It occupies an interesting space of being simultaneously entirely non controversial in that it is by far the biggest ship I have ever engaged with, while also being extremely divisive, both within and beyond fandom spaces. But I arrived here LONG after most of that had happened, and am now just happily playing in the sandpit of creative space while the bones of drama stay *mostly* buried. Always a bit of a shock when one rises up to try and kick down your sandcastle though (yes, I am aware that that is a mildly horrifying visual)

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon? They are not (TECHNICALLY), but there is enough raw material in canon to build The São João Baptista, and that is enough for me. That and the 21,302 (and counting) fics with their relationship tag on AO3.

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you? The first I actually engaged with other fans over was Call The Midwife in my early 20s, and that was because I snapped after seeing one too many tv lesbians get hit by a car.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date? Unhinged is not really my brand so I don't really have anything good for this one. Is Kara gets accidentally miniaturized unhinged? Or a bait and switch Lena "villain" arc? I think probably not really to either, but that's the closest I've got for this fandom so far...

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it? The aforementioned incident between Delia and a car, which left her with amnesia and taken away to Wales mere moments after she and Patsy had moved in together. But I’m over it. Honest.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations? Not usually, I get shy about it. The exceptions are my wife (but we met via fandom so that one maybe doesn’t count) and on occasion my best friend, who talked me round by being an enthusiastic sweetheart.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made? A few people have made fan art for my fics and it felt like the absolute highest compliment that could be paid to my writing. It was amazing to know that something I wrote meant enough to people to inspire them to go and create their own thing from it, and I loved getting to see other people’s takes on the version of the characters/story I had created. I think it's one of the best things about fandom communities! But I do understand why other people might feel differently about something they have poured so much of themselves into making, so I guess the main thing is trying to be respectful with it, crediting the source, and accepting people's boundaries. Basically I think we should all just be kind to each other and have fun.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations? I'm generally seeking my own catharsis through writing fix-it fic for painful things that happened in canon, so I guess a certain amount of pain followed by the eventual fluffy feel good satisfaction of resolution, but honestly I consider it a win if I can evoke a whole spectrum of emotions along the way.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it? Someone once liked my fic so much that she married me about it, so it’s hard to beat that haha. But on a more usual level, people making fanart for my fic was a HUGE one. And also just when people have left particularly in depth comments, commented on every chapter, told me they're rereading or that a fic of mine was their favourite etc... Basically just knowing that something I made has really meant something to someone gives me all of the warm fuzzy feelings, and I am very grateful to each and every person who has taken the time to tell me so!

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!) Originally I had the bouquet toss ficlet by @fazedlight here, because it just captures the characters so beautifully, but then I left this sitting in my drafts and it is now more than 24 hours ago that I saw it, so I'll add this adorable art by @awaitingrain, because LOOK AT IT! They are so cute??! Also I relate to gentle nomming as a display of affection XD

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share) "Lena Luthor was dangling from the side of a cliff, nothing between her and the vast chasm of space below but the small jutting nodule she was clinging to to keep from falling.

How the hell had she ended up here?

Well. She knew how of course.

Kara Danvers was how."

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several) SO MANY!! it’s hard to pick a favourite of hers honestly because she is a RIDICULOUSLY good writer, but I’m going to go with The Next Best Thing by @cynicalrainbows. I don’t tend to read many kidfics but this one is the absolute best I have come across, she captures the child perspective fantastically well while also being incredibly engaging and entertaining to an adult reader. It is what successfully pulled me into reading Six fanfic despite (at that point) never having seen the musical. Even if you haven’t either, I wholeheartedly recommend checking it out. Or go and read her new Paperdolls fic and help grow that fandom, which I think currently has all of two people in it!

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style? I do! I know how much I love it when people do it for me, so I try to leave comments on every chapter of the fics I read (or add tag notes for tumblr art/fic reblogs), and give specifics about what I like about it. Sometimes I just fully liveblog the fic reading experience, which is always fun. I also find it makes you engage and appreciate the work more because you’re taking your time to really think about it, AND it makes an author happy to receive (at least so I hope), which makes me happy.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all? Not counting a couple of dump documents of ideas and snippets, technically 3, I guess? One is Forgotten, Not Forgiven (Supergirl) which is my big one and will definitely be finished. The others are less certain – Storybooks and Siren Suits (Call The Midwife) is the one kidfic I have ever written, and is both my longest story at 151,020 (published) words, and also the one I am least likely to finish, because it has been stuck on the same chapter for around 3 years now. The other is Small Problem… (Supergirl) which could be counted as a finished oneshot, but I will probably end up adding further Adventures of Tiny Kara at some point.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?Well, see above re: 3 year stall on new updates. For actually fully finished and published stories I think it was around 6 months.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published! Lena discovers Kara in Lex’s bed, then decides to lure her into friendship under false pretenses. Alex helps her do it. Forgotten, Not Forgiven.

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it? See above re: getting into fanfiction for Six!

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers That’s tough because there are so many amazing ones, but I think I will go with I Guess I Live Here Now by @fabulousglitch, because it was both the first fic I really got into for supercorp and also contained everything I wish the characters could have had in canon. I know I am several years late to the party so if you are in the supercorp fandom you have probably already read it, but if you haven’t read it GO READ IT, IT’S SO GOOD!

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool @nottawriter

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) @sideguitars (and I still owe you a comment on AO3 for that!)

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it @sssammich

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things @fazedlight

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things @havaamina

Someone you always tag on things like this @cynicalrainbows

Someone you have never tagged before @thatonebirdwrites

Someone you would like to get to know better @thecasualqueer

Someone who makes art you like @pea-green (I don't know if you still do fandom drawing/writing these days, but your commissioned art is still up in my house/in my profile picture and I love it so much)

Someone who writes fics you like @fabulousglitch

[radicalstoner]

What disability do you have that prevents you from working?

Typically I would say mind your business, but, seeing as you're the apparent arbiter of whose disabilities are "bad enough," you of course must be informed so you can declare your ruling on whether my illness justifies my inability to work. And obviously your eminent anonymous opinion is what makes or breaks my entire lifestyle lmfao. But y'know what? Sure, I'll humor you, bc why not - have a peek at the hell that is my physical health and decide if I'm sick or just a lazy piece of shit.

I'm not giving you my full diagnostic history, bc you are not my doctor (unless he has tumblr but I doubt it) - I have multiple different diagnoses anyway, ranging from genetic to rheumatological to endocrine to neurological to gynecological, and rote listing them would probably mean little to you. What I will tell you is some of my symptoms, since those are more understandable to those who aren't aware of medical jargon and acronyms.

[Read more bc even symptoms alone are a huge list, no need for anyone to read all this, I just got going and it got long]

Let's start musculoskeletal: I have frequent falls from joint instability (and neurological issues like dizziness), and these falls often result in my joints (knees, shoulders, ankles, fingers, and collarbones are main offenders) coming partially or sometimes fully out of place and needing to be popped back in - I typically have to do this multiple times a day, and am very used to the cracks, crunches, thunks, snaps, and visceral squelch sounds that joints make when they move in and out of position. The pain of those injuries rarely bothers me anymore because I'm so used to it, so I just relocate joints and move on with my day - but the dislocations do inflame and damage surrounding tissues, and it adds up fast bc of how damn frequently my various bones decide they are getting divorced from their partners. I also have moderate scoliosis and bone-on-bone arthritis in my thoracic spine (meaning the spinal discs have degraded to nothing, so there's no cushion between the bones or around delicate nerves in the spinal cord, causing more neuro issues). My SI joints are degrading and constantly painful, and when they flare it gets to the point where I can't even shift an inch in bed without crying out. I have sprained/dislocated my right ankle so many times that it has permanent tendon damage, which would normally make me a candidate for surgery to fix them, but one of my conditions makes the surgery extremely likely to fail, so instead I'm stuck with chronic ankle pain and instability that gets worse with each proceeding twist or sprain (which are more likely to happen w the fucked tendons). My bone density is much lower than it should be in a woman my age. My hand joints are steadily losing their stamina wrt how long they can do things like write before the pain is really bothersome. My condition also just inherently causes muscle wasting, so building strength (though important in my treatment) can feel like an exercise in futility, and is incredibly frustrating. Nothing that I have mentioned in this paragraph can be treated at the root cause btw, symptoms can be managed and injuries can be rehabbed, but there's no fixing the disorder, these symptoms will haunt me my entire life.

Rheum: I am always high-inflammation, literally couldn't tell ya the last time my WBC tested in the normal range bc my body is constantly on high alert trying to fix the unfixable. Inflammation compromises your immune system, causes chronic fatigue, weight fluctuations, and just physically hurts, it's like a dull ache in dozens of areas on my body, and it moves around. That pain is also so familiar that it doesn't particularly bother me. What has been bothering me tho is that my thyroid is now overactive, which has led to new symptoms - I'm used to my typical set, I know how to cope, but new symptoms are a whole 'nother ballgame: I've been unable to sleep FAR too often, I'm now chronically sleep deprived and yet still alert and awake for 2-4 days at a time; I have lost 50 pounds in two months, and my body has been basically organically giving me Ozempic effects - no cravings, no appetite, no general urge or interest in eating - but the weight loss is still disproportionate and pretty shocking; I am anxious and fidgety all the time, to the point that my muscles get sore from fidgeting during the long wakeful periods; I hyperfixate even worse than usual on tasks (e.g. this fuckin ask response that you in no way deserve but I'm too engaged to not write it now). My healthy curly hair has started to feel brittle and frizzy, and some strands have broken (I have not used any bleach or heat since I had a buzzcut). The brain fog caused by the inflammation is also absolutely insane, I feel like I'm running in slow-mo even though the chemicals in my body are in high gear giving me energy and anxiety.

Gyno: I have PCOS and Stage III (of IV) endometriosis. Enough said?

Endocrine: my hormone levels have always been fucky (sky-high androgens) and when I went on testosterone a doctor medicated me incorrectly and made my hormonal imbalances drastically worse. my HPA axis is fucked, so all the different hormones/chemicals those organs produce are out-of-whack as well.

Neuro: Tingling/numb extremities, essential tremor, BRAIN FOG, balance issues, lack of coordination, nerve pain, vagus nerve dysfunction, icepick headaches. I have non-MS-type lesions on my brain, most likely caused by chronic physical and emotional stress according to my neuro. I have chiari malformation which means the bottom of my brain sags into the area of my spinal cord. I have endometriosis growing on my sciatic nerve, which is just as fun as it sounds; the sciatica pain is a different pain than I'm used to so it's much more uncomfortable mentally.

Systemic: Can't emphasize enough that I hurt All The Time. If my pain is at a 5 or less, that's a REALLY good day for me, I typically hang around a 7 on the pain chart. Pain stops me before strength or stamina, so I can't go on the walks my body wants to go on, I can't clean the apartment as deeply as I'd like, I can't even move some days, when the pain is all-encompassing and extra intense. I can semi-function with a LOT of pain by ignoring it, but I have had more and more days over the years when I just can't ignore it, or else I'll be punished with a knee dislocation or an SI joint flare for overdoing it. My autonomic system is an absolute disaster - this controls blood pressure, heart rate, digestion, breathing, temperature regulation, all the shit your body is supposed to do automatically. I can't rely on my body to do those things automatically. My stomach is paralyzed SOMETIMES because of my autonomic dysfunction; yes really. 3 gastric emptying studies, one was normal, one was very rapid, and one was basically immobile. The theory is that the fluctuations in my body and the storm of hormones/neurotransmitters/chemicals stimulate peristalsis unpredictably. Intermittent gastroparesis, and other times my stomach can't even hold onto food long enough to digest it and get nutrients before it moves on. And latelly I've had the fun little symptom of playing russian roulette whenever I dare to eat anything bc there's a 20% chance it will not be staying down - but also if I don't eat, I puke stomach acid and bile. I stock medical emesis bags like I'm a hospital, and have them stocked in my car, nightstand, living room, bag... bc I never know how my stomach will act, and when the nausea hits it is extremely sudden and intense so I need to have easy access to the bags. That's the reality of my gastric situation, eating holds no joy whatsoever, I've even lost a few safe foods after puking them up and developing taste aversion. My blood pressure is chronically low to the point that automatic BP cuffs sometimes are unable to detect it; my pulse is chronically rapid to the point that it goes over 3 beats a second sometimes, according to my watch. I even pass out sometimes because my blood pressure tanks even worse than usual (my father does the same thing, same disease).

Anything else you want to know? Social security number? Credit card info?

[quitefair]

WIP Ask: 9, 13, 14, 16, 21 :)

thanks for asking!!! (questions are from this ask meme!)

i'm going to answer this for The Dragon Age Fic because... well. That's the only things I've really been working on all these years.

Under a cut because it got Long. As usual.

9. What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far?

Here's the deal - I think I'm not good at dialogue. I struggle to write it, and what comes out often always needs editing. But this bit was the first that came to mind. For context: this is in reference to An Unexpected Engagement. Tashak is my Inquisitor and Sekhara is her younger sister.

tw: alcohol.

___________________________________

“Was gonna offer you this,” she ran a finger along the rim of the tankard she took from Bull. “But you seem to have taken care of yourself already.”

Tashak grunted. “Still not as drunk as I should be.”

“Well lucky I got here when I did, because from what I recall, you wanted to talk to me. Let’s do that before you get completely shitfaced, yeah?”

“Need another drink first.” Tashak waved down one of the serving lads, carrying a massive tray of tankards. Two full mugs were set down on the table, and within seconds one of them was half gone.

“You done?” Sekhara said drily as Tashak leaned against the table, head in her hand.

“Not quite. Still feel like shit.”

“Okay you’ve gotta start talking before you pass out because I am not going to carry you back to your room if you do, alright?” Tashak continued to stare intently at the table. Sekhara groaned and took a drink of maaras-lok. The fizzling in her veins turned into actual flame. “Besides, what are you doing here anyway? You’re usually cozied up with Josephine by now.”

That was evidently the wrong thing to say, judging from the way Tashak’s face twisted into something that made even Sekhara uncomfortable. The fingers around the tankard were now gripped so tight that the knuckles were turning white.

“Fuck, what’s wrong now? Did you go and fuck up something between the two of you again?”

“No.” The word seemed forced through gritted teeth. Tashak’s eyes were unfocused, staring into the distance. “It wasn’t me this time.”

“Tashak, for all that is good in this world, snap out of it and tell me what the fuck…”

“Josephine is engaged.”

There was a pause. The sound of wood cracking, a man swearing loudly before a fist connected with bone, the loud off-kilter singing, filled the space around and between them.

Sekhara blinked once. Blinked again.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Didn’t think you had it in you.” She leaned back in her chair, grinning at Tashak. “And to think you wanted to tell me first…”

“Wait what?” Tashak’s eyes widened. “No, no, no! What the fuck? I didn’t pro…”

She looked around, suddenly aware that her voice was carrying. Turning towards Sekhara she continued in an angry whisper, “… I didn’t propose.”

Sekhara’s brows creased. “Then who the fuck is Josephine engaged to?”

There was another pause.

“Please don’t tell me she’s in love with somebody else now.”

Tashak groaned and held a hand up but Sekhara was already standing up.

“I swear to all the fucking Old Gods, if she’s up and gone and dumped you after everything you’ve been through, I am going to punt her across the mountains so hard she reaches bloody Kirkwall…”

“Sit down, Sekhara.”

Sekhara sat down. There was no arguing with that voice.

____________________________________________

13. What common trope(s) do you feel are used in this chapter/fic?

I only remember very few tropes off the top of my head, and all of them are ship related. Let's just say this is a slow-burn, mutual pining, friends-to-lovers sorta deal. Also something something racism/generational trauma/discrimination and a whole lot of other stuff that I need to make a note of honestly.

14. What have you been finding frustrating with writing this chapter/fic?

Oh god where do I begin. I'm doing something horrible, which is a) rewriting an entire game, b) fixing what I feel is broken and c) adding to what's already there with my own characters and my own spin on a romance. It's Really Hard. And to top it all off, I have a very demanding day job and am starting my masters on top of that. AND also have very severe anxiety over my writing/posting things online.

So yeah.

16. Write the next 5 sentences and share.

This is most likely going to be part of Chapter 2. I need to fuckin sort out everything I've written.

____________________________________________

Her skin was a smooth grey, her hair an iridescent black. Two curling horns emerged from her forehead; their tips lost in the shadow surrounding them. In the candlelight, Josephine could not clearly catch the expression on her face, though she noticed the downcast eyes and the deep furrow in her brow.

She did not look up at either Josephine or the commander. But she shifted the arms that were in front of her, and the heavy jangle of the shackles around her wrist caught Josephine’s attention.

____________________________________________

21. Share 3 songs that would belong on a playlist for this chapter/fic. 

I'll do you one better and link my Tashak/Josephine playlist. I cry over them on a daily basis.

[redbelles]

author interview

tagged by: @starrybouquet and @sluttyhenley; i'm love you both 💖

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

49 + 1 currently unrevealed work

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

240,810

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i never truly abandon old fandoms, but recently been it's house of the dragon, elden ring, stranger things, gilmore girls, and some niche fandoms like berserk and [redacted]

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

like a heartbeat drives you mad

the dreadful need in the devotee

and my body found the wind

stuck in colder weather

all the love you need

5. do you respond to comments?

yes! it may take me eighty-four years, but i love and appreciate every comment i receive, and i will get around to responding to them eventually! i swear!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

lmao uh. probably either the clouds will form a crown or in the violence of our dreams, both of which just provide nuance around the canon endings of robert baratheon and judas, respectively

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hmmm. this is a self drag, but i feel like i rarely do out and out straightforwardly happy endings? i feel like the answer is either the mercy wheel, which fixes dany's atrocious season eight character arc, or tongue's talkin' riddles (sticky sweet), which gives chrissy and eddie a mostly happy future together instead of horrible deaths in deeply cursed hawkins

8. do you get hate on fics?

nope

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

unfortunately, i do in fact write sex. most of it very explicit, even! i'm a big believer in sex as an emotionally-charged vehicle for character development

also sometimes you just wanna see two characters bone, you know?

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i have a lot of fun throwing crossover spaghetti at the wall in various dms, but i have never actually written a crossover

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of, no

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had a couple requests to translate my fics, but i unfortunately had to say no because the translators wanted to host the translations outside of AO3, which is not something i'm comfortable with

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have indeed! keep calling me home is a really fun little round robin fic i wrote with three other authors a couple years ago

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

you want me to choose? come back with a warrant.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

shut UP leave me ALONE i am GOING to finish all my wips!!!!!!!

16. what are your writing strengths?

emotion! imagery! themes!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

l m a o it's plot. also: humor.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

unless you speak the language, it gets real dicey real fast. i personally avoid it unless a) it’s a canonical term/phrase, like all the faux-russian bullshit in the grisha trilogy, or b) i can check the grammar/usage with a native speaker or someone who is solidly fluent

19. first fandom you wrote for?

[redacted] way back ages ago on [redacted]

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

oh man, this is tough! i think right now it's something in the night, because i got to dig in to one of my all-time favorite characters by having him froth at the mouth about my all-time favorite musician, and i'm really pleased with how it turned out

(jess mariano: absolutely unhinged about bruce springsteen! just like me!)

tagging: @littlelindentree @hyperphonic @windowsandfeelings @ninzied @carry-the-sky @majicmarker @woodswit @ladywaffles @jacyevans @thatworldinverted @scoopsgf and anyone else who wants a go ✨

[sir-achimus-prime]

Expect the unexpected !!!!

Summary of the story : Y/n and Sans experiment and don't really realize the consequences of their actions after a particularly emotional and difficult event. And well, dear reader , they are made aware in quite possibly the worst way.

Note : Okay , so I was toying around with Undertale Monster's and how they have baby and came up with this. Because it's been stuck in my head, and i'm supposed to be learning another language 🙃 i will also be using Ahhh ! Real Monster baby term Bonsty to reference babies because i'm not 100% sure undertale does . Please correct me know if not, and i'll change it 😁😊

Chapter 1 : Point A ?

So Monsters to my knowledge are made through a bond/strong connection many refer to as 'Love'.

(Yeah , sounds like shit. But Sans and Papyrus lectured us the last-time we voiced our opinions so 'rudely')

So it would surprise you how exactly you found yourself standing beside your best friend at Undyne and Alphy's wedding , who was eating nearly everything on site with hot sauce. He was absolutely disgusted by the idea of eating anything with Ketchup and refused a shot of fire whiskey mixed into either condiment.

As a human , this behavior drew your attention as she blushed deeply wondering what exactly had possessed your friend as you rudely picked him up and dragged him away to question him further , when the flaming hot catdogs began grossing him out.

So ever the Bestest Friend that you are , you dragged him away to your actual house that you were lending to your newly-wed friends for a honey-moon. Your farm was the actual reception and venue , so it was like a 10 minute walk. Once in the safety of your room , you fixed him with a questioning look.

"Heya bubs , ya feelin' fine ?" His eye lights were fuzzy, and knowing him for nearly 8 years. Before a goopy mess of undigested magical food splattered on the floor and her dress .A frown settled on your face before sitting on your bed that you'd told your friends was off-limits as your friend complied "You emotional for Alphy's and Undyne or ya nervous ? You're not still worried about your nightmares are ya ?" Sans buried his face into his suit sleeves as he laid on his back.

"I don't know !! Ketchup's making me sick, and …..Foods not fooding !! And my soul feels weird and ……" he sighed miserably with a frown."Hey , i know ya said it's not possible. But could we …have …ya ….know?" She asked, lying back onto her bed as she felt an indignant glare."No! Biologically-Y/n!!! Be serious !!" She frowned."Hey ! I am ! And I wasn't talking about me !! Is it possible you are ? I don't know lot about monsters , but ya were-" she yelped at the hand firmly against her mouth "Yes-I don't think it's possible for your soul too , and ya have barely any magic Firstly !! And 2nd humans aren't capable of that , you guys are too weak. " she opened her mouth and shut it again as she glumly nodded.

She glanced at her roof. "Whelp, i don't know, Princess. Sounds like ya need to find your Baby Daddy. 'Cuz that sounds strangely what the buns and Dogaressa described before baby monsters spawned. But , that could just be my human dumbness, " she huffed, getting up. Her thouggts drifting and willing them not to she decided to distract and deflect as she recognized that look on his face.

"You should probably take a break. I'll keep Paps and the others distracted while ya rest some…call me if ya need me , yeah ?" She said changing clothes to a pair of jeans and a teal blouse/dress-shirt before yelping when Sans sighed hugged her from behind , his mental protuberance digging into her shoulder blade "I wasn't trying to be mean" she pursed her lips "Not mean. Just snappy , but hey, your freakin' out, and that's fine." She said as her heart squeezed in her chest."You don't owe me anything …It's not like we're exclusive or official…..just an experiment , right ?" She smiled sheepishly.

"I mean you do like the bone-zone , ain't like it's just for me or sumthin' " she said before shaking her emotion off as Sans frowned, shifting to turn her around"Anyways , i'll leave ya too !! !" She smiled as she twisted outta his hold and ducked out of the room hearing the music kick up.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♠︎♤♤♤♤♤♤♠︎♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Later

Y/n found it strange that Toriel was guiding her to her own room. She'd noted she'd disappeared at some point during the party as Undyne danced with Asgore for the Daughter Father dance. And was gone until Papyrus let her settle down for some Cat-Dogs when 'Your Man' by Josh Turner came on and her sister threatened bodily harm if her boyfriend wasn't returned.

She had been munching happily on her hot-sauce and ketchup covered Hot-dog and was currently drooling over her Hot Cat as Toriel had stolen it after she'd reassured her Sans had been fine the last-time she'd checked on him. Which he had been , it wasn't her fault her best-friend was stubborn.

Toriel sighed and stole her Hot Cat , and if she was in a normal non-hungry/lazy mood , she'd have gotten up and made another or simply asked politely for it back. She did the latter, and Toriel had walked away with her beloved Hot Cat as she heard it calling her name.

She hummed as she guided to her room as Toriel ensured that they were alone as she regarded Sans. Who looked weary and worse for the wear , as she had a feeling of dread.

"You okay , Bone-boy ? Seems like ya took Bone-Tired too seriously" she smiled with a teasing lit. Toriel frowned and Sans smiled slightly "hehe , yeah….whatcha doin' tori ?" She glanced upnat Toriel before her….brain connected it all together "Oh ? You found your BD ? Whatcha need ? Want me to beat'em up ? I won't do much but , i can try !" She smiled reassuringly "Oh Tori can i have my Hot Cat ? I made the best concoction known to man and monster kind !!" She drooled as Toriel sighed nodding , she took the plate happily before Sans snatched her Hot-Cat as she gasped in surprise and betrayal before Sans hummed happily.

She sighed allowing her friend to peacefully enjoy her masterpiece and mourn the loss of a beautifully delicious morsel.

She turned to Toriel to allow her friend to eat as Toriel gave her a quizzical look "So Y/n ? What do you know about monster reproduction ?" She paused at that "Ahh well , just what Paps , Sans , Alphy's and ya told me. Babies are made of love and stuff " she said nonchalantly as Toriel cringed "Yes. But you still don't believe it? I'd have thought after sometime…" she frowned at Toriel "Uhhh, i sorta do but , it's ….errr…." She paused looking for words .

"It's foreign to me as a concept. Human babies don't really need that , as long as a male cums. Baby is made , so …it's kinda an older outdated concept" Toriel hummed "But , do you …ermm…Are you intimate with just anyone ?" She shook her head "Not really my cup of tea , why ?" Toriel smiled "So you atleast have a standard of ..a connection with intimate partners ?" She said with a pink blush on her cheeks as she quirked a brow "i-I…..yeah" she said her own cheeks redding "Ummm, but why does my intimate life have with relevance here" she questioned as Toriel sighed.

"Sans is in denial , he is fine but being stubborn. But what he needs to tell you is that he-" Toriel was rudely interrupted and given a very rude look by Sans "That i am fine !" He huffed as you shot him a concerned look as Toriel and Him maintained a glaring contest and wordless arguement before shrugging "Okie dokie , kinda overboard just to tell me that ,bubs. But , ummm, ya want another hotdog or Hot cat ? Or are ya gonna chill in here ? Just stay outta my drawers , yeah ?" She teased with a chuckle before Sans snapped out of it and nodded "No , i'm going to go see what Paps is up too" he said going and going to grab Toriel's hand as they short-cutted away.

She sighed deeply as her heart plummeted to the ground again painfully. As she stared absently out the window in deep thought in regards to her friend. Wondering what was going on and if it was what she believed it to be …how she'd continue with their relationship….how she'd deal with the sudden absence of her friend if Toriel and him had began a new life as she sighed knowing the slippery slope she was nearing before brushing it off.

"It is what it is , y/n ! You can't change anything or anyone" she murmured to herself before joining the party again to help clean up before doing some rounds on her farm to make-sure they were clean and content.

Later on….

Undyne and her had planned a particularly romantic star-watch at the gazebo in her private garden as she waved her friend off with a smile. Before She felt Sans short-cut beside her as she leaned against the large oak tree whilst sitting and balancing on her fence.

She ignored Sans and figured she'd play dumb as she stared up at the stars curiously. "Man, must be nice…"she sighed as Sans snorted, "To visit a garden ?" She frowned "N-Well…. yeah…I meant more the thought of having someone like that …someone that plans stuff for ya and knows ya that well. Undyne planned the star-gazing and stuff, " she sighed."It's kinda like a fairytale, ya know ? Loving someone so much … that ya want to do stuff like that and want the whole world to know , ya know ?" She smiled "My parents always fought or my mother couldn't leave things be , and …I really never experienced something like that or saw it growing up" she said wiping her teary eyes "What about you ?" Sans was silent and gone …as she sighed deeply, fighting the sting of hurt that flashed through her . It felt like her heart and lungs were being squeezed by her ribs as she sighed, deciding to call it a night.

[im--tired]

This is controversial.

But as someone who was a trans man for 2 years I feel like I have some place to speak on it.

Bring transgender (and this is not all people but specifically my personal experiences) is based off of gender stereotypes.

I just saw a video on Dylan Mulvaney's new song and I can't say anything has pissed me off more. There is no such thing as a concrete slate of what a woman is. A woman can be a nurse but she could also be a plumber, which we all know. But how womanhood in these terms tends to be portrayed as harmful stereotypes that can harm biological women. I have no issue with whatever these people's lives are but to say that biological women are just bleeders that give birth (which some of us dont even get periods and are infertile) but then go and say that you have to "learn the basics" even though you literally just said they're wasn't anything that makes a woman a woman.

I'm sorry for my language, but what the fuck?

I'm exhausted of how this is going. And for me to sit over here and watch, mind you, literal children, be influenced by this and think to be a woman you have to be like this and to be a man you have to be like this and if you're not in either explicit rules then you're something else.

Dosen't that literally go against everything we've tried to fix as a society? I'm not a man but I have many male friends so I'm aware that if a man were to wear a dress or whatever is considered feminine he'd be called gay and said no woman would ever like him. Obviously I'm not a man but I have heard things along those lines before.

My point is, the only reason transgender exists is because of harmful gender stereotypes we've created since the beginning of society. I'm a history nerd and you can make the argument that there was gender discriminatory in hunter-gatherer times but I'm pretty sure our ancestors just new that men were biologically stronger than women. Specifically within the Ancient Rome and Greece it is known that women had practically no rights, it's a whole thing but I'm not going to get into that because this will be much longer than it needs to be.

Just think about it. Like you're the exact same person, just with different genitals. Is it really worth all the money? And if so, why?It's just a vagina or a penis it's not much of a difference.

And I'll tell you how I know. I got sick and tired of how I looked because I was "too masculine" with my blunt eyebrows, square face, and muscular bone structure. It's not even like I was extremely muscular either (of which I am now significantly more than I was at the time because I've come to embrace that part of myself). I also had a slight mustache, because body hair is, NORMAL, and my mom kept nagging me about my body hair (My mom is an amazing woman so don't say anything rude about her, it's just unfortunately how our society works). So I became trans. It felt as though all my problems had dissapeared and all I had to worry about was correcting people and changing my name. But it soon became hard. I realized how feminine I actually was and hated every part of it. Not to mention a lot of my friends are part of the LGBTQ+ and I can't explain how absolutely terrified I was to tell them. I got the "Oh are you sure it wasn't your parents or peers pressuring you into it" amongst lots if other things. It was hard for me to actually be myself when I had been hiding behind a person I created just because I hated certain parts of my personality, looks or interests for being "too masculine".

It has been said so many times and I'll say it again. The issue does not lie with people being transgender or anything under the umbrella (I don't care what you have in your pants or what your pronouns are I'll respect it because it has nothing to do with me) it has to lie with gender roles, expectations, culture etc. Its good to preserve history and culture, but some needs to be changed for the good.

Theres so many more details I could add to this to explain it more but these are just the basics. If anyone has questions onto why I have this opinion or need for more information don't hesitate to ask.

And also just remember I'm just someone on the internet so if you dont agree with my opinion feel free to rip my face off in the comments but it's really a waste of your time.

[gas-station-chai]

VS the World AU: Some notes on a few of Jack's exes that I had laying around

Benji:

Jack met Benji when he was in college and dating Jerry. Jerry had dragged him into this camping club/cult thing (he didn’t know it was an extension of the cult at the time) and brought him along for a “quick hike through the forest,” where Jack quickly got lost/separated from the group (it was a good thing, too. Jack thinks if he stayed with them, he might’ve been sacrificed or something).

Benji, who had been camping out in that forest for the past week, found him at the bottom of a cliff with a broken leg and quickly (begrudgingly) took him back to his spot to fix him up (meet cute idea: “Haha thanks for saving my life and shoving my broken bone back into my body. I’m sorry I thought you were a bear when you first showed up and threw a rock at your face”) 

They kept in touch after that. B kept visiting him in the hospital to check up on him, and Jack eventually broke things off with Jerry and used Benji as a rebound (which he’s a little salty about, but doesn’t take it to heart too badly. 

They probably broke up when Jack realized what an ass he was being to Benj for using him like that. Their relationship didn’t really change much throughout the entire thing tbh. Neither of them were very touchy/romantic/communicative with each other in the first place. True neutral relationship (in Jack's eyes, that is)

"I do really like the idea tho that Benji took it a lot more seriously than Jack was aware of. like Benji wasn't a super touchy feely or romantic person but he did really like jack, and he loved that jack was similar. he liked having someone he could protect and care for, and also someone who seemed to rely on him without being too needy.

and then things ended, and Jack made the right choice but Benji is still bitter." -Xavier

Rosa:

They’re way too cute together (both romantically and platonically). Probably met in high school, she helped him with Spanish classes and he helped her with literature classes, and they started dating from there <888 in the present whenever they talk/meet she still quizzes him on Spanish to see if he still remembers her lessons. He doesn’t, but he tries <8

There’s probably still romantic feelings there for each other but, Rosa’s the one who broke things off because of the whole “Dark God” thing (guardian angel type thing? Family religion? She’s still a conduit somehow for supernatural shit) to keep Jack safe. Jack was reluctant at first but for some reason Shhhhh really hates him so it didn’t take that much convincing for him to stay away from her

Rosa’s technically not even in the Evil Exes club, it’s just Shhhhh. She’s just there along for the ride lol

Tony’s a jealous loser abt their relationship (can he tell they still like each other or does he not like them being friends still?) and Rosa can see it. She’s really polite to him in front of Jack but she’s very clearly trying to hint to him, “Seriously? This guy?” with her eyes. Ofc Jack is immune to nonverbal communication and she knows that, but Tony doesn’t, so it only pisses him off more. (Xavier note: "the world needs more subtly petty/bitchy rosa and i am THRIVING HAHA")

Jack doesn’t help with the way he’s asking him not to hurt her too badly. “SHE’S ATTACKING ME WITH PLANTS, JACK. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE”

JACK JUST LIKE "HEY I'M ACTUALLY STILL FRIENDS WITH HER PLEASE BE NICE" "JACK I AM FIGHTING FOR MY FUCKING LIFE OUT HERE." (-X)

Jerry:

Jerry counts as Jack's 6th ex despite having met him before Benji due to the fact that they kept dating off and on again for a while (with Jerry being a rebound between a few exes)

Pre-cult Jerry had long hair and got it lopped off about a month after he joined the Mathmetists, so Jack associates his short hair with this fucked up, brainwashed version of his (ex)boyfriend. 

After the first few on-and-off breakups/getting back together's, Jerry realized this and started growing it out again. He stopped wearing the uniform around him, too; started dressing in his old clothes (the terrible fashion sense ones) whenever he hung out with jack. 

Ofc, Jack saw it as a sort of "recovery" and they started dating... again. Jerry keeps acting like the old him (funny, spontaneous, flirty), but sneaking in tidbits and quotes of their beliefs into normal conversations. Jack tries to ignore it.

Jerry's smarter than he looks, he knows what he’s doing here: He’s lowering Jack’s guard. But he can't help but get excited at the idea of Jack joining him in this important mission, so he ends up pouring too much cult-stuff onto Jack all at once. Jack realizes that Jerry’s still into the whole “destroying the world” thing and breaks it off with him again. The cycle repeats multiple times 😔 

Jerry might be hellbent on convincing Jack to end the world’s suffering with him, but he’s still a sweetheart. He’d never force him into this, that’s why he keeps trying to talk jack into it. (Jack has his number and every social media he has blocked, but Jerry somehow keeps reaching him through alts and new numbers)

[mjolnir-steve]

Foolish

Frank Adler x fem!Reader

Word count: 5027 (oop)

Warnings: light drinking, very brief mention of suicide, some cursing, smut (18+ ONLY!!!), unprotected sex (m/f) ... Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Hi, y’all! Here’s my entry for @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817’s Shameless Hoes for Chris Challenge!!!! I haven’t written smut in a LONG time, so please be gentle with me LOL. Here’s what I got:

Frank Adler

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

Breeding / mutual pining 🥴

I’d like to dedicate this to @rodrikstark for always sharing the Frank Adler feels and @sparkledfirecracker for bullying me (with love) into finishing this. ❤️

If you like this fic, please comment and reblog!!! I hope you enjoy. :)

Fridays never seemed to come soon enough. You looked forward to the beginning of the weekend as much as the next person, but over the last few months, Friday nights took on new meaning for you. You moved to the trailer park a little less than a year ago, wanting to buy a small place of your own and start making a home for yourself. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t expensive, and it was only a ten-minute drive from your office where you’d just secured a promotion. Roberta, the manager, helped you make it feel like home right away, insisting on going with you to pick out paint samples and providing copies of menus for the best take-out in the area.

Before long, Roberta introduced you to the trailer park’s resident certified genius, Mary Adler. Mary and Roberta spent Saturday mornings with you when you were free, which unfortunately, was pretty much all the time. You played games, sang karaoke, and even let Mary’s one-eyed cat Fred come over. He took a liking to your swinging chair in the living room, and if Mary couldn’t find him at home, odds were he somehow squeezed through your window and ended up in that chair. 

Another two months had passed, though, before you met Mary’s uncle and guardian, Frank. You came to learn that Mary stayed with Roberta every Friday night because “Frank needs time to be an adult” and she was not allowed to come back to the house until noon on Saturdays. This information made you feel like Frank must be some kind of sad, perpetual fuckboy. You were right about the sad part, not so much about the latter. One morning while Mary played with your watercolors, Roberta let slip - ironically over a cup of tea - that Frank did have the occasional hookup, but usually, he drank himself sleepy on Friday nights and just needed the time to himself. He worked himself to the bone as a boat mechanic, often late into the night because it was too hot to do some jobs during the day. Frank took Mary in when she was just a baby after his sister, her mother, tragically committed suicide. He spent the majority of his scarce free time with Mary, so when Mary was still a toddler, Roberta offered the Friday night deal. Frank countered that he would do any repairs in the trailer park for free, but she refused to let him do that work without pay, saying he deserved to have a life, too. 

She also informed you that Frank was a former philosophy professor, single, and very attractive, especially if you were into the rugged thing. You rolled your eyes with an amused exhale and took another sip of your tea. You’d be lying if you said your interest wasn’t piqued. Mary then shouted over her shoulder, confirming that she’d been listening to your entire conversation, “Frank is great, but he’s a grump. Good luck cracking that egg.” You snorted, nearly spitting out your tea, and she went back to reading your color theory book to Fred.

With that, you heard a sharp rap at the door. You set your tea down on the kitchen table, curious who your visitor might be. You didn’t know anyone else in the trailer park, or in town, really. You opened the door, taking in the sight of possibly - no, definitely - the most handsome man you’d ever seen. You quickly guessed it was Frank, judging by the grease smeared on his quite large hands. His eyes, though tired, had the same bright look as Mary’s, and he had the most perfectly imperfect fluffy hair and overgrown stubble.

“Good morning,” he said with a sweet, closed-mouthed smile. “Is Mary here?”

You had to remind yourself to breathe. Stammering, you opened the door wider, gesturing inside. “Hi, y-yes. She is!” Why am I like this? “She’s just painting with Fred. Please, come in.” You moved aside so he could fit his broad shoulders through the doorframe and then held out your hand. “You must be Frank. I’m Y/N. Mary is just wonderful.” You smiled at him, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

He took your hand in both of his, gentler than you’d expected. “I’m sorry. Yes, I’m Frank. It’s great to meet you, finally.” He smiled wide for the first time and you were certain you’d pass out. Who LOOKS like this? “And thank you, she really is wonderful. I couldn’t do it without Roberta. She’s family.” He smiled and waved at Roberta, who was looking at you over the lip of her mug.

Mary didn’t even bother to turn around and face Frank. “What are you doing here, Frank? It’s only 11. I have a whole ‘nother hour with my friends.” You tried to keep your laugh quiet, covering your mouth with your hand and shaking your head.

“Well, excuse me for thinking you might like to go out on the boat with me this morning. I guess I’ll go by myself.”

Mary jumped up from the floor, scrambling to clean up your paints and books. “Can Y/N and Roberta come?”

Frank crouched down to meet Mary’s eyes. “Of course they can, if they’d like.” He looked back at you over his shoulder, trying to gauge your interest, then turning back to his niece. “But do you remember what I told you?”

You could see that Mary was making a conscious effort not to roll her eyes. “You told me that my adult friends have adult lives that include adult responsibilities, and they might not always be available to spend time with me.”

“And?” he looked at her expectantly.

“And I need to invite them to do things without assuming they will do them.” She couldn’t hold back her eye roll any longer, but she made sure not to let Frank see. “Roberta, Y/N, would you both like to join us on the boat today?”

You were amazed by the exchange taking place in front of you, able to see where some of Mary’s brains and tenacity came from. The conversation between the two flowed so easily, playful yet intelligent. It was clear that Frank treated Mary not as a child, but as a person, and you chided yourself internally for thinking that was kinda hot. 

Shaking yourself out of your mildly inappropriate thoughts, you responded. “I’d love to come, Mary.” You smiled at her, bending over to help her pick up the last of the paints from the floor. “Roberta?”

Roberta gave you a look and you just knew she planned this somehow. “I actually do have some of those adult responsibilities to handle today, but thank you for inviting me.” You sent a glare in her direction, quick but no less scathing. “Maybe next time.” She winked at you before washing out her mug and saying her goodbyes.

You spent the whole rest of the day and night with Frank and Mary, doing everything from building sandcastles to cooking dinner together. Mary eventually fell asleep in your lap as you were watching Oliver & Company, Frank’s favorite Disney film that had become Mary’s, too. “An underrated classic,” they told you in unison.

You helped Frank put Mary to bed, a task made easier after such a tiring day. “I guess I should get going.” You stood awkwardly in the small kitchen, unsure of yourself and painfully aware of how close your hand was to Frank’s resting on the counter.

“Yeah, I have a job early in the morning.” He looked down at his shoes, unable to look you in the eye, and you wondered if he hadn’t found your company as enjoyable as you’d found his.

“Listen, I don’t know if you’ve been to Ferg’s? The little bar down the road? I go every Friday night just to relax and have a few beers. Maybe you’d like to come with me next weekend?”

Is he asking me on a date? You could feel your heartbeat racing. The look on your face must not have matched the excitement you felt at the prospect of spending time alone with the dreamy, kind, sarcastic man in front of you. 

He felt like an idiot when you hesitated to answer. He clearly read everything wrong. He had to fix this. “It’s a good place to meet people, you know? I know you’re fairly new to the area, so if you’re looking for more local friends, it’s a good place to start.” He winced, hoping you couldn’t sense his embarrassment at thinking that you would want to go on a date with him.

You swallowed, trying not to let your disappointment show outwardly. Of course he’s not interested in me. Stupid. “Oh, yeah! That would be great, Frank. What time?”

Frank let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, relieved that you didn’t seem offended by his offer. “How’s 7? I’ll pick you up? We can walk over together.”

And that’s how Fridays came to mean so much to you. Almost every Friday for the last six months, Frank met you at your door and you walked to Ferg’s together. Frank told you it would be a good place to make new friends, but you paid no mind to the other patrons. You only had eyes for each other, yet neither of you could see it, even though Roberta pointed out (repeatedly) that neither of you had taken anyone else home in all that time.

The more time you spent with Frank, the more certain you were that God was real and your life was His favorite trainwreck reality TV series. Even if you could have customized a dream man Build-A-Bear style, Frank still would blow your creation out of the water. He was smart and funny, not to mention an adoring parent to Mary, to whom you grew more attached each day. He was kind and thoughtful, talented and hard-working. Although he was a grouch, as Mary would say, he always was sweet to you. He took a genuine interest in anything you had to say, whether you were venting about work or filling him on the latest episode of whatever show you were binging. He was ridiculously sexy without even trying. All those hours he spent doing manual labor in the sun did wonders for his physique. You’d only seen him completely shirtless on one occasion, and the image of him with sweat dripping down his chest was burned into your memory, fueling your late-night thots and causing you to break out your vibrator on what was now a regular basis.

Six months had come and gone in the blink of an eye, and you’d begun to accept that Frank didn’t want to be anything more than friends with you. You decided tonight was as good a night as any to talk to someone new, to start letting go of your unrequited feelings. 

You swapped out your usual jeans for a sundress, t-shirt bra for a push-up, and lip balm for lipstick. Putting your phone and some cash in a wristlet, you considered wearing your new strappy sandals. The walk to Ferg’s was about five minutes each way down a sandy road, though, and memories of the sticky floor inside aided your preferred pair of Converse in their victory for the night. 

Just as you finished tying your shoes, you heard a knock at the door. You adjusted your cleavage and fluffed your hair a final time with one last look in the mirror. Here goes.

Frank felt like he had the wind knocked out of him in the best possible way. He suddenly felt entirely underdressed in his aloha shirt, even though it was his go-to for nights out of the house. He’d never seen you dressed so nicely when you weren’t going to work. 

You were the kind of beautiful that didn’t require makeup. Your natural hair always framed your face perfectly, even if you didn’t think so. He thought you were adorable when you were concentrating on something, blowing your hair out of your face with a huff. Visions of your soft curves made their way into Frank’s dreams on more than one occasion. He had seen you in your swimsuit several times, sunbathing with Roberta and swimming with Mary at the beach. It wasn’t even all that revealing, but it accentuated your figure in ways that forced Frank into needing a cold shower or two. Above all, though, he admired your heart. You’d allowed Mary into your life without hesitation, spending time with her because you wanted to and allowing her to ask all those questions that Frank just wouldn’t be able to answer. It killed him that you didn’t see him the way he saw you, a perfect partner for him and a worthy maternal figure for Mary.

“Frank? You okay?” Your concerned voice shook him out of his thoughts, prompting him to close his mouth which apparently had opened wide in astonishment when you stood in the doorway.

“Yeah, um... You look…” He looked a little confused, his brow furrowed and lips pursed. “Why are you all dolled up? It’s only Ferg’s.” He wished he could’ve kicked himself in the teeth when your face fell at his question. He rubbed a hand over his face. “Shit. Let me try that again,” he nearly begged, running up to you to stop you from going back inside. “You look really nice, honey.” He ran his calloused hand up your forearm, but quickly returned it to his side when he realized what he’d done. “Is it a special occasion, though? Should I change?”

You gave him a watery smile, given that you were three seconds from slamming the door in his face and crying. “That’s better. Thank you.” You lightly pushed at his shoulder, trying and failing to ignore the electricity you felt at the contact. “No occasion, though. Just thought maybe it was about time I actually introduced myself to someone new.” 

You couldn’t quite read his reaction. Little did you know he was certain he just felt his heart physically crack in his chest. “What do you mean?”

The two of you started walking, the tension between you thickening the very air you breathed. “Well, when you first invited me to Ferg’s, you said maybe I’d get to know some other people in the area, right? But we’re always with each other. I’m sure you’re itching to talk to someone other than me. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“Ah. Gotcha.” Frank abruptly reverted to the quiet, distant state he usually occupied before he met you. He sped up a bit, walking ahead of you and desperately attempting to school his features before you caught up with him.

Frank practically ran to the restroom, not slowing down even to hold the door open for you. You took a deep breath and rolled your shoulders, relaxing before entering the bar. Normally, whoever made it first would order drinks for you both, but Frank made it painfully clear that he had no desire to be in your company tonight. You ordered your usual, an Angry Orchard with a shot of Fireball in a tall glass. The combination tasted like apple cider, but the burn in your throat was caused by liquor rather than heat. It was strong enough to get you buzzed, but not so strong that you’d be stumbling home. You swallowed half the glass in one gulp, wanting to feel the warmth in your veins boosting your confidence as quickly as possible.

“Y/N? How are you?” You turned around, eyes meeting those of Jamie, your coworker. He leaned in for a hug and you accepted somewhat reluctantly, having interacted with him only in passing.

“Hey! I’m all right. What’s up?” You smiled at him, taking another sip of your drink. Jamie was not very subtly staring at your chest. You weren’t crazy about him, but the attention felt nice, so you allowed it.

“Not much. Just happy it’s Friday, ya know?” He looked around for a moment before returning his attention to you. “You’re usually here with that mechanic dude, right?”

You stifled a laugh thinking about how Frank would react if he heard himself referred to as “dude” by this prick. “Yeah, he’s around somewhere. We’re just-“

“-Just friends?” he finished for you with a hopeful look.

You nodded in response, looking him up and down. He was no Frank, but you couldn’t deny he was handsome. It had been so long since you’d even been kissed, and though you hated to admit it, you were touch-starved. One night couldn’t hurt, could it?

Meanwhile, Frank was splashing his face with cool water. He couldn’t believe he’d fucked up so royally. He was sure you didn’t want him how he wanted you, and now he was sure it was too late to tell you how he really felt.

He knew from the moment he saw you that he’d never get you out of his head. Roberta had been talking you up to Frank for weeks, but he wanted no part of it, mumbling something about there being “a reason why no one used matchmakers anymore.” He had no choice but to make your acquaintance when he was looking for Mary, and he’d never been so happy that Roberta could say she told him so.

Later that day at the beach, Mary approached him while you were dozing on a towel in the sand. She sat on his lap and reached for his face, using her pointer fingers to turn the straight line of his mouth up into a smile. “Roberta says you have a ‘charming’ smile, Frank. We think you should use it more.” He chuckled quietly, careful not to disturb you, and pulled Mary in close, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. She grimaced at the feeling, dramatically wiping at her face until he let her go back to reading with Fred.

The sound of the jukebox starting up cut short his reverie. He had to get out there and explain himself. Frank dried his face and hands with a paper towel before smacking his cheeks and stretching his neck back and forth to each shoulder. 

Frank exited the restroom only to find some douchebag staring at your ass as you leaned over toward the bar. He saw red when the piece of shit held out his hand behind his back while his friend slipped a twenty-dollar bill into it, seemingly winning some sort of bet.

Jamie didn’t stand a chance when Frank stormed in between the two of you. “That’s IT,” he yelled, so intense he borderline bellowed. He threw whatever cash he had in his pocket on the bar to pay for your drinks before he pulled you outside, almost getting to your door while you fought against his grip. He only stopped when you spun your body around like something out of Dancing with the Stars and jumped in front of him, forcing him to catch you.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, what are y-”

“-What are YOU doing, Frank? What the fuck was that?” You put your feet back down on the ground but remained facing him, arms crossed over your chest.

He groaned in frustration, suddenly realizing he actually had no clue how to respond. “Fuck.”

You looked at him, tapping your foot in anticipation.

“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.” He rubbed at his temples in the way he did when he felt a headache coming on.

“And how was he looking at me, Frank? What does it matter to you?”

“He was looking at you like you were a piece of meat and I… FUCK!”

You both turned when your neighbor opened his window. “Can you kids keep it down out here?”

You waved bashfully at the old man. “Sorry, Mr. Parker,” you said in unison.

“Come inside, Frankie.” The nickname that typically made him roll his eyes at you never had sounded sweeter, now that its use confirmed you didn’t hate him for the scene he made. You both toed off your shoes at the door before you made your way into the living room, motioning for him to sit next to you on the couch when he tried to sit in the armchair across the room.

You leaned forward, pinching his chin between your thumb and forefinger. “Now what’s going on in that sun-damaged brain of yours?”

He let out a laugh so soft you almost missed it, but you were glad you didn’t. Sitting back against the arm of the couch, you pulled a pillow into your lap and hugged it, giving Frank your full attention.

Frank cleared his throat, doing his best to accept that it was now or never. “That guy was leering at you, and it pissed me off. You deserve better, Y/N.” He pried your fingers from where they were locked around the pillow to hold your hands in his.

“If you want to meet new people, that’s great. If you don’t want to be with me, that’s a little less great, but I’d understand. He didn’t even pay for your drinks. And I th-”

You covered his mouth with one of your hands, and he knitted his brows in confusion. “You’re making it sound like it’s an option to be with you.” You were in disbelief, side-eyeing him, waiting for Ashton Kutcher to announce that you were, in fact, being Punk’d. 

The corners of his mouth lifted into the soft smile he reserved for you. It was the same one he gave you whether you were on a tangent about how “Obsessed” by Mariah Carey is “the single greatest diss track of all time” or you were helping Mary put a harness and leash on Fred “just to see how he’d do” on a walk.

“For a distinguished professor, you’re kind of a dummy, Frank.” You took his face in your hands, thrilled to be feeling his stubble against your palms. Before he could talk back to you, you kissed him, unsure how you denied yourselves such a simple yet extraordinary pleasure for so long. It only took a moment for him to relax into it, his hands removing the pillow between you before finding your waist and pulling you almost into his lap.

You deepened the kiss, threading your fingers through his hair. He pulled away first, pressing his forehead to yours. “Seems like we’re both dummies, huh?” 

You were going to ask why pulled away until you looked down to see a considerable tent forming in the front of his jeans. You laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug, one arm wrapped around you while the other hand held your face against his neck.

You kissed the side of his neck softly before leaning back to look at him. “All this time? I thought you didn’t see me this way.” You held his face, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. “You asked me to go to Ferg’s and then said I could meet other people, so I thought that was it, you know?”

He covered your hands with his and pecked your lips softly. “Honey, I thought it was the other way around. I was trying to ask you out and you looked like you’d seen a ghost.” You giggled, spluttering a bit because tears had started falling at some point. He wiped your tears away before swiping his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down a bit. “We’re fools, aren’t we?”

You nodded slowly and Frank saw something wicked flash in your eyes before you took his thumb in your mouth, sucking lightly. “Jesus, honey.” His length hardened underneath you and you could feel the wetness beginning to pool in your panties, prompting you to grind down into his lap.

You released his thumb from your mouth, pressing your chest into his before kissing him again. “I think we’re only fools if we don’t take advantage of the rest of your adult time.” You removed your dress easily, returning your hands to Frank’s shoulders to push off his shirt.

He surged forward to kiss you again, working magic with his tongue against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he picked you up, walking you into the bedroom. Placing you on the bed carefully, he removed your bra and panties before pulling off his boxers and jeans in one go. You thought you wanted him before, but now that you could see everything he’d been hiding under his baggy clothes, you didn’t see how you could ever let him leave your bedroom.

The next few minutes were spent exploring each other’s mouths while Frank stretched you with his fingers. You didn’t think you’d ever been so wet in your life and thought you might pass out if you didn’t feel him inside you immediately. You gave his cock a few strokes before sliding his head through your folds, coating him in your slick.

“Waitwaitwait, honey. Do you have a condom?”

“You don’t need one if you don’t want one. It’s okay.”

He looked like you just gave him tomorrow’s winning lotto numbers, taking a deep breath to steady himself before he looked at you again. “Oh, God. Are you sure?”

“Mhm. I wanna feel you. Make me yours?”

“Anything you want, honey, but if you change your mind, just tell me, okay?” He lined himself up, seconds shy of entering you for the first time.

“I figured if you were gonna be possessive of me tonight, you might as well take it the whole nine, Frankie.” You laughed as he let out an exasperated sigh. “Seriously, though, I’m clean, I’m on the pill, and I’ve wanted you for a long time.” You reached up to scratch lightly through his chest hair.

“The only thing I wanna hear right now is you moaning for me.” He drove into you harshly, but waited a moment for you to adjust once he was seated to the hilt. “So damn wet and tight for me, honey. You’re so perfect, so beautiful.” He kissed you again before he began to move, slowly but surely making you lose your mind.

He dipped his head down to take one nipple in his mouth, then the other, effectively shutting you up and emptying all thoughts from your head. He nipped at the swell of your breast, soothing the bite with his tongue. “Fuck, Frank, please!”

“Please what, honey?” He picked up his pace, fucking into you so vigorously you moved up the bed. “Tell me what you need.”

“Make me cum, Frank. Please, baby, I need it. Need you,” you cried, leaning up to bite into his shoulder, stifling your moans.

“I wanna hear you, Y/N. I wanna hear those pretty moans while I’m making this perfect pussy cum for me.” The combination of his filthy words and the sight of him sucking on his own fingers before rubbing at your clit sent you over the edge, making you scream his name over and over again for what felt like forever and not long enough.

You could tell he was close, his hips stuttering and losing their rhythm. He began to pull out, unsure if you were willing to let him finish inside you, but knowing he was too close to wait for an answer.

You hooked your legs around his waist and pulled him close, pushing him back into you. “Fill me up, Frank. I wanna feel all of you. Please give it to me,” you whimpered. His release triggered another for you, chanting each other’s names surely loud enough for the neighbors to hear. 

He stayed inside you as you both came down from your shared high, gingerly flipping you over so he laid on his back with you on his chest. He kissed the top of your head, fingers fluttering up and down your sides. 

“What’s on your mind now, Frankie?” You looked up at him through your lashes, mildly terrified of the answer.

He looked down at you with the most adoration you’d ever seen, lifting your chin so your eyes met his in the moonlight. “That wasn’t too soon, was it? You mean so much to me and to Mary. I don’t wanna mess this up. I don’t ever wanna hurt you. You’re the best thing in my life besides Mary, you know that?”

You kissed his chest before looking back up at him, smiling. “First of all, I would argue that wasn’t soon enough.” He hissed as you clenched around his still softening cock inside you.

“You’re evil.”

Winking at him, you continued tracing patterns on his chest with your fingers. “Second, that all kinda sounds like you might be in love with me, Frank Adler.”

His hands stopped moving for a second before he responded. “Would you run away if I said I am?”

“Well, I wouldn’t run away. This is my house.” You thought your heart might explode in your chest.

“I didn’t even say it, but I take it back,” he huffed, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“What if I told you I felt the same way?”

He grinned, sitting up to kiss you feverishly on your cheeks, the tip of your nose, and finally your lips. You could feel him starting to harden again inside you, leading to round two of… well, you lost count.

You ate breakfast and showered together in time for Frank to return home before Mary did, agreeing to talk more later and to hold out on Roberta for a while.

Frank stood on your doorstep, leaning in to kiss you once more. All of a sudden, you heard a familiar meow and thanked God you were dressed and not in your robe.

“Frank, what are you doing here? I thought I’d come see Y/N since I’m not supposed to come home until noon.”

You bit your tongue to keep from cackling. Frank ran a hand over his face, his blissful bubble burst. He was getting you a hotel room next weekend.