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marvelwitchergilmore · 3 months ago

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In Sickness and Health

Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> Logan takes care of you when you're sick.

Disclaimer: Mentions of throwing up, getting the flu, flashbacks to exploding boats. Mostly fluff for how Logan takes care of the reader. Couple of swear words. Happy ending. Not Proof Read.

You never got sick.

It didn’t matter who you were around, or where you had been or what you had been doing. You never got sick.

You could help ten puking kids, three more flu ridden ones, walk through a room full of adults who had everything from the flu to fainting from it, and still walk away and not have gotten sick.

Standing by the kitchen door, Logan watched you.

In all fairness, he’d been watching you ever since he saw you sneeze whilst he was sitting outside teaching a kid outside of lesson times. Sitting in a classroom didn’t help the kid, but sitting outside on a bench, watching the world go by…well, the kids could recite the whole book by the end.

For three days, you’d been sniffling, sneezing and coughing. No more than anyone else, but coming from you, it was concerning for Logan.

He couldn’t get sick, but that was due to his own mutation. Not by some miracle act from God.

So, standing by the kitchen door, Logan watched you.

Your nose was a little red from the amount of times you’d used a tissue against it in the last few days, your skin was flushed, your eyes heavy and your steps slow.

For the third time in four minutes, you zipped your jumper back up and shivered.

“You’re sick.”

Logan’s voice made you jump. He wasn’t loud but it still made your ears ring.

“I am not sick.”

“Yes, you are.” Logan pushed himself from the door frame and he walked closer towards you.

“I don’t get sick. I’m not sick. Just…tired. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“No, neither did I. I could hear you coughing and sneezing from down the hall.”

“That wasn’t me.”

“Sure.” Logan raised his brows for a second.

“It wasn’t.”

Then you sneezed.

“Okay,” Logan practically sang, taking you by your shoulders. “Let's get you to bed.”

“I don’t need to go to bed. I’m making food-”

“We don’t need you making everyone else sick. One kid, fine. An entire school? Even Mother Teresa might struggle with that one.”

Logan stood behind you and guided you out of the door and down the hallways.

“Why is it so hot in here?” Quickly zipping your jacket back down, you tried your hardest to get it off you as fast as you could. Logan helped you for a moment before pressing his hand to the back of your neck.

“You’re sick.”

“I am not sick.”

“You’re freezing cold,” Logan pointed out.

“Then why do I feel like I’m on fire?”

“Because,” Logan said. “You’re sick.”

Helping you down the hall and into your bedroom, Logan pulled the covers back from your bed and made sure you got into it. The minute your head hit the pillow, the pouding just became a dull ache.

“If I’m so sick, why are you helping me? You’ll get sick.”

Logan shook his head as he tucked you in whilst simultaneously untucking your duvet from the frame of the bed.

“I can’t get sick. My mutation makes sure I can’t.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’.”

“But what about the kitchen?”

You went to get out of bed again but Logan practically ran around the bed to stop you. It didn’t take a firm hand to push you back down.

He sat beside you, his arms caging you in where you lay.

“Don’t worry about that. I can take care of it.”

“You can cook?”

Logan nodded.

“You? You, Logan Howlett, can cook?”

Logan furrowed his brows, a little offended. “Don’t sound too shocked.”

“Just…never seen you cook an actual meal.”

Logan shrugged, “When you bunk with seven other soldiers who don’t know the difference between toast and charcoal, you learn pretty quickly.”

“Huh.” You said, slightly shocked by his admission. Though, come to think of it, Logan was full of surprises these days.

Your friendship with him hadn’t started out on the best of terms given that you had punched him in the face when you first met him, thinking he was on the other team of people who were hunting you.

You got a good swing in, too. Made his nose bleed. Which was never an easy feat when it came to someone like Logan.

Of course, for a while, given that you didn’t want to join either team, or any team for that matter, you and Logan were a bit stand-offish to each other. On the rare occasion you did see each other (usually whenever X-Men came to find you), your communication with him was through glares and grunts. Which he gave back in return.

Then the first couple of times he, technically, saved your life, you were more adamant on fighting him. Like when he pulled you out of the water when you fell in, even though it had been on purpose and you yelled at him for leaving the boat you’d both been on.

“Oh, well excuse me for thinking I was saving your life!” He had yelled at you as you walked up the bank and found a log to throw your jacket over whilst you wrung out your hair and the bottom of your t-shirt.

“I jumped, Logan. I didn’t fall. I knew what I was doing. You should be on that boat right now!”

“Maybe, but now I guess we’re stuck together, huh?”

Funnily enough, it was after that day you decided you hated him a little less. But it wasn’t from the water, it was when he actually listened to you and left the boat when you told him to just before it exploded.

He was the one to find you back at the bank when you dragged yourself up it and collapsed, catching your breath.

“You blew up a boat.”

You nodded. “I blew up a boat. And saved your life. I guess now we’re even.”

“Even, huh?”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

He offered you his hand a minute later and pulled you up.

It still took a while for you to both become friends, but at least from that day forward, you were both civil and talked.

A few hours passed after Logan had tucked you in, or at least, you guessed they had, considering the sky was less sun-lit and more moon-lit.

“Hey,” Logan shook you awake gently and you turned over, your entire body hurting as you did so.

Slowly you sat up and felt Logan’s hands brush the hair from your face until he could see you clearly.

“Here, take these. Drink this.”

You swallowed down two tablets but made a small groan when Logan didn’t let go of the cup.

“You’ve already broken two, this is just safer.”

Then you remembered.

Logan kept his hand on the bottom of the cup as you held it and drank from it before pulling it away and placing it on your side table.

And looked down.

“Why am I wearing your shirt?”

“Because I found it in your draw. And it’s easier to get you out of it, if you spill something on it again.”

You furrowed your brows. “You got me changed?”

“It was either that or listen to you keep falling around in here.”

You grunted a small response as Logan went to lift something else from beside your bed. “Here, you need to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry.” You tried to push it away.

“You haven’t eaten in two days. You need to eat something.”

You groaned again. “What is it?”

“Soup.” Logan gave you a small spoonful, the heat from the bottom of the bowl warming his hand. “Careful, it’s hot.”

He managed to get at least half of the bowl down before you rejected it saying you were full.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because someone else might actually think you mean what you say while you're sick.”

You were still for a moment, then nodded. Maybe he was right.

“What time is it?”

“A little after eight.”

You just hummed and slowly lay back down in bed.

“You just get some rest.” Logan told you, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles of your hand before getting up. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

You didn’t know if it was a minute, but he was back.

With his hand against your forehead, and through the blurry vision of your eyes in the dark, you could tell he looked worried.

“Honey, you’re burning up.” He told you, slowly peeling back each layer of bedding you’d put on top of yourself.

You hissed as he pulled the final layer back. “Logan, it’s freezing.”

“Come here, sit up for me.”

And you did.

Crouching in front of your legs, Logan kept his eyes on you until he checked the thermometer was on.

“Open up.”

You did so and he stuck the thermometer under your tongue.

“I’m surprised you know how to do this.”

“Stop talking.”

You waited for a few seconds, but then you had to speak.

“Logan, I don’t feel so good.”

“I know-”

Within a split second, you pulled the thermometer from your mouth, left it on the bed and a momentarily confused Logan behind as you ran towards your bathroom and flipped up the toilet lid.

“Okay, okay.” Logan was right behind you, pulling your hair back and rubbing your back as you practically threw your guts up into the toilet bowl.

Eventually, it stopped but you remained where you were. The puking might have stopped for a moment but the gurgling inside your stomach hadn’t.

“I think I’m sick.”

Logan gave a fake scoff. “See, now that’s just untrue.”

“Don’t make me laugh,” you told him, feeling a small smile on your face before it was wiped away by the wave of a sick feeling again.

For a moment, the gurgling in your stomach subsided and you dropped to the side of the toilet against the wall.

Logan quickly ran a fresh wash cloth under the sink before he wiped your face down, removing some of the sick stains and sweat. Once he ran it clean, he gave it to you to place at the back of your neck.

Then he stood up again and started searching through the draws around the sink til he found what he was looking for.

“Lean forward a little.”

You followed his instructions before you felt his hands scoop up your hair and secure it with a scrunchie he had found.

“Thank you.”

Reaching up to the counter, he pulled down the thermometer he was yet to check and gave a small whistle.

“Well, what’s the verdict, doc? Girl or boy?”

“39.6.”

“That’s a lot of kids..”

“I’ve called Jean. She’s still tied up at that conference in Melbourn but she should be back soon.”

“Hopefully she knows how I can give birth to that many.”

“Think you can stand?”

“After giving birth? Hell no.”

Logan sighed, but you didn’t miss the chuckle that escaped him as he helped you up off the floor.

“You okay?” Logan asked you if you gripped onto him as you swayed on the spot.

“Dizzysall.” You drawled a little as you spoke, closing your eyes.

“Let's get you back into bed.”

Logan helped you from your bathroom, back into your bedroom and into bed. You pulled the covers back over you, only to have Logan pull them off again. You whined a little.

“We still need to get your temp down, bub.”

You gave in, your strength leaving you as tiredness kicked right back in. Again, Logan brushed the stray hairs from your face as you tried your best to fight off sleep.

“You’re gonna get sick.”

“Can’t, remember?” Logan’s voice was soft. “Mutation stops it.”

You nodded, remembering, letting out a small; “Lucky bastard.”

Logan chuckled but just sat beside you as your hand held onto his while your eyes closed, giving him a little more freedom to let his eyes wander around your room.

You had a couple pictures round your room, but not many. However, you did have a hefty parcel you were yet to open, on your desk that he could guarantee contained some. Also on your desk you had a small record player, as well as the records lined up beside it. You had everything ranging from Christmas Classics to Movie Soundtracks to 80s rock. Most had been your own that you brought with you when you moved into the school, taking up a teaching position. But some others had been gifts from birthdays, christmases and the last couple had been from one’s Logan had found himself. He thought you might like to add them to your collection so picked them up and brought them back from flea markets and other places he found whenever he went out.

From what he could see, the last record you had played was one he had found for you.

When you were sound asleep, Logan stood and walked across your room and opened up your window which let in a cool breeze.

He was quiet as he moved about your room, shutting the door a little so he could flush the toilet without disturbing you before he tidied up the bathroom a little.

Then he started cleaning around your room, wiping down any surface you had touched and any that you could have.

By the time he finished, he woke you up again to make sure you got some more fluids down you all the while feeling your forehead with the back of his hand.

“You feel cooler.”

“Just what I’ve always wanted to hear.”

Taking the thermometer from your bedside table, he uncapped it and placed it under your tongue. You stayed quiet this time, waiting for the beep.

Your temperature had gone down a little, but not by much.

“Logan? Will you stay with me?”

Logan nodded. “Sure, bub. Lay down.”

You did so and he walked around the other side of your bed, pulling the covers to the floor save for the thinnest and lightest one.

Almost instantly you curled into him and closed your eyes, his arms holding you close.

“Thank you for making sure I don’t die.”

Logan smiled. “If you did, who would give me crap from cooking?”

You gave a slight smile before sleep overtook you. You woke a couple of hours later to chuck up the last few remaining ounces of your internal organs, and Logan stayed with you the whole time.

And when you fell asleep on your window seat, having been desperate for fresh air that didn’t smell like the inside of a toilet bowl, Logan carried you back into bed.

By the time morning rolled around, you had less of a rough storm inside your stomach but you were no better than the night before.

So, Logan made you take a shower.

“I’m gonna keep this door open,” Logan called over his shoulder, between the gap he had left in the door. “Shout me if you need me.”

“Okay.”

Immediately, Logan started stripping your bed covers and sheets, changing them for fresh ones. He was almost done when you came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. Saying nothing, you moved over to sit by the window seat and let the fresh air brush around you.

Logan found you an extra towel and wrapped it over your shoulders so you wouldn’t get too cold, or even sicker, before going in search of some clothes.

You managed to pull your arms through the t-shirt and lift it over your head. Logan helped pull it down over the rest of your towel covered body and left you to deal with your pants whilst he shut the window so the gap for air wasn’t so big.

You pulled the towel undone from underneath you and Logan took it from you, throwing it into the laundry basket by your door.

You managed to twist your hair into a bun as you walked over to your bed, laying on top of the sheets.

The rest of the day was spent sleeping, waking up when Logan came back to make sure you were getting enough water and medicine down you as well as keeping it down. And by the afternoon, he had found a couple of old movies.

And when you asked him to stay with you, he did.

You fell asleep fifteen minutes in, but Logan still stayed with you. And even if he wanted to leave, he couldn’t. Because your hands had been held above his, over your middle since he lay beside you.

You turned over, half way through the movie, gripping onto his shirt and he just rested his chin on the top of your head.

You woke up six hours later and felt better.

Over the next two days, your fever finally went down and you stopped gagging at every smell that was stronger than laundry softener. Until finally, you were sat up in bed with Logan, able to feed yourself without your arms screaming at you to just not move an inch.

“I mean it, Logan. Thank you. For everything.” You told him, turning to look at him.

He had made you some more soup and gave you some added crackers. Your appetite wasn’t back but you were thankful that you were actually hungry for once and not feeling sea sick.

“Don’t mention it. How’s the soup?”

“Tastier now that it doesn’t smell like everything else did.”

Logan nodded. “Still surprised that I can cook?”

“Oh, yeah. I still need to see you cook to believe it though.”

Logan smiled. You were getting better.

The conversation flowed for a while longer until you asked Logan one specific question.

“Do you remember when we became friends? I’m not talking about after the boat. I mean like, actual friends.”

“We’re friends?”

You scoffed, hiding your smile whilst he showed his, and shoved him slightly.

“I’m kidding. But you remember the river?”

You nodded. “Of course. You don’t exactly forget jumping from an exploding vessel.”

Logan waited a moment and then nodded. “I remember when we became friends. You took care of Rouge. She wouldn’t let anyone in to see her, but she let you.”

Logan leaned his head back and looked up to the ceiling. “God, I remember that. I think you even called me an ass.”

“Correction; A jackass.”

“Forgive me.”

“Forgiven.” You nodded. “You were so worried about her, and I couldn’t blame you. But you were being a jackass.”

“I just remember racing home and by the time I got upstairs, everyone was in bed, except for you. You stayed with her all night.”

“So you made me a cup of coffee.” You finished for him.

Logan nodded. “I remember all of that. Why’d you ask?”

“Because I’m glad it happened.” You told him. “Not Rouge getting sick, but…the moment. I’m glad we became friends with Logan, because it made me trust you outside of being an X-Man. And, I’m sorry about all the disgusting things you’ve witnessed in the past couple of days but…I’m glad you were the one to help me. I trust you, Logan. With my life. Both figuratively and literally.”

Logan shifted his hand so it held onto yours. “I’m glad, too.”

A few moments passed and you both broke eye contact when a pair of familiar heels were heard coming down the hallway.

“Here you both are.”

Jean was finally back. “You’re looking better than Logan described.”

You looked at Logan for a moment before looking back at Jean. “Yeah, it’s been…rough.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better now,” you smiled a little. “Logan had a lot to do with it.”

“I’m glad you’re okay. I’m just gonna go and check on everyone else. Make sure they’re not coming down with something, too. Are you two okay here?”

You nodded, “We’re fine.”

Jean didn’t fail to spot where Logan was holding your hand, and she gave a brief smile before heading towards the door.

A week later you were right as rain and was finally getting to see something you had been begging to witness all week.

Logan cook.

You sat by the kitchen island, watching him prepare the ingredients, cook said ingredients, all the while creating a delicious meal that wasn’t just soup and crackers, all without burning the house down.

“So you really know how to cook?” You asked, bouncing a wooden spoon between your fingertips.

“I really know how to cook.” Logan said with a small smile as he sliced through the pastry.

“Why don’t you do it more often?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. Pass me that?”

You handed over the wooden spoon and Logan started stirring something. “Come and try this.”

And you did.

That night, you both sat out on the balcony, watching the stars go by.

And, as you sat there, watching the stars go by, the music from the record player steaming out from the kitchen, you looked over at Logan and realised something.

You trusted him.

You more than trusted him.

You, in fact, loved him.

It would be a few months more before something would happen between you both, but you would come to find out that Logan had realised that exact same thing. But rather than realise it out on the balcony, he had realised it for himself back inside the kitchen when you had stood beside him.

He couldn’t make sense of it at the time. Why, for such a small moment, had he realised then. But either way, he was thankful for it. Both of your lives were lived in higher stakes.

To have a small moment feels so connected with such a big one…

Looking at you, and having you look back in the same manner…

That meant the world to him.

In sickness and in health,

You meant the World to him.

#logan x reader #logan howlett x reader #wolverine x reader #xreader #logan x fe!reader #wolverine x fe!reader #logan howlett #taking care of when sick #happy ending #fluff #sick fluff #logan can cook #x men wolverine x reader #the wolverine #enemies to friends to lovers vibes #wolverine #falling in love #sickness and health

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corkinavoid · 2 months ago

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DDxDC Cold Fingers

Written for: Flufftober, prompt 7. Hoodie Weather

"I'm home!" Danny's voice comes from the door right after the click of the lock. Tim just hums in response, too caught up in reading the file on his tablet. He really needs to finish the report today, this case has been closed for three days now-

Something cold touches his stomach, and Tim yelps in surprise, kicking his foot on reflex. Danny dodges easily, taking a step back and laughing.

"You and your cold fingers," Tim huffs, sliding down on the couch and tugging the hem of his hoodie lower and over his knees, so his sneaky boyfriend won't have a chance to steal his warmth anymore.

Danny pouts and tries anyway, putting his palms on Tim's knees - he can feel the cold even through his pj-pants - and sliding them up slowly.

"You know I love you, Tim," he says, an innocent look in his eyes and a ton of mischief in his voice. Tim slaps his hands and moves back on the couch, out of Danny's range.

"I do, but keep your hands away from me," he warns. Danny seems to miss the warning entirely, climbing up on the couch and moving his fingers in a menacing manner.

"But it's so cold out there," he whines, trying to get closer, as Tim keeps fighting him, while still holding the tablet in his hands. "I need some warmth. And love. And-"

Tim places his foot right in the center of Danny's chest, keeping him from coming closer. By this time, he is almost laying down on the couch, and the position is really stupid. Just like his boyfriend's grin and his attempts to get his hands under Tim's hoodie.

"And I worked really hard on warming myself up," Tim argues. Which is, actually, true: it's been raining since yesterday, so Tim wisely stayed inside, bundled up in blankets and working from home. Except for patrol, but that's a whole different story. "I'm not sharing it with someone who hadn't put a token of effort in it."

Danny pouts, but sighs and steps away. Tim keeps a suspicious eye on him, but, after a few seconds, he slowly goes back to his report.

A big mistake.

The next moment, Danny all but falls on top of him, and his ice cold hands are under Tim's hoodie and all over his naked stomach and ribs, and Tim is squealing, hitting him on the shoulders and wriggling out of his grip. Danny is laughing, squeezing him in a hug that sends chilly shivers down Tim's spine.

"Cold-cold-cold, Danny, no, stop!" He gasps for air, but his boyfriend just chuckles and showers his face in tiny, quick and cold kisses. Tim shakes his head, dodging and trying to get rid of them just to prove a point.

"But ple-e-ease," Danny whines, still smiling so wide Tim is afraid his face is going to crack.

"You're..." he huffs, out of breath because of all the fighting. And then, breathes out, slumping down and going lax on the couch, "...Insufferable."

Danny's eyes are brighter than stars, and his hair is a mess. Tim runs a hand through it - yup, wet from the rain, because someone forgot his umbrella again - and raises an eyebrow.

"What am I getting in return?"

"My eternal love," Danny answers immediately, his not so cold anymore hands rubbing slow circles over Tim's skin. He shivers again, but this time, it's not because of the temperature.

"Like I don't already have that," he rolls his eyes, but he knows he is smiling.

"M-yeah?" His dork of a boyfriend hums, and then leans down, finally giving him a proper kiss. This one is not cold, it's soft and warm, slowly heating Tim from inside out until he is all out of breath again.

And Danny's hands also feel almost hot under his hoodie.

Tim smiles, wrapping his arms around Danny's neck.

"Welcome home," he greets, content and nearly melting under his boyfriend's touch. Right until a horrible though strikes him, and his face drops, "Wait, where's my tablet?!"

#flufftober2024 #day 7 #danny phantom #dc x dp #dpxdc #tim drake #tim x danny #dc #dead tired #brain dead #hoodie weather #i interpreted it to my best understanding #no refunds #fluff #by god these two need all the fluff they can get #cork writes #cork prompts

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libraryofgage · 11 months ago

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Addams Family B-Side (3)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three (you're here!) Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two (on the way!) Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

Did I already post today? Yes. Did I also post two chapters of Modern Steve in 80s Hawkins today? Yes. I am just incredibly productive today, who knows when it's gonna happen again lol

Anyway, finally! The next B-Side! This bitch has been stewing my guys, so I hope you enjoy it lol

There are two memes at the very end of this one, so definitely stick around

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't 😘

--------

For four weeks, Eddie feels himself losing his mind. He finds gifts in his locker every other day, and he's convinced they're from Steve Harrington. He now has a taxidermied bat, a fancy-looking vial with a skull and crossbones embossed in the glass and filled with mysterious liquid, an actual human skull that Eddie immediately incorporates into his next campaign, and a spider. An actual spider. A live spider that, after a little research, he learns is a fucking Black Widow that seems unnaturally friendly.

Eddie can't stress that part enough. Multiple people have mistaken the spider for an intricate vest patch because it just sits perfectly still over his chest pocket. It only moves to rub its head against Eddie's fingers whenever his hand passes over it, and even then it's careful to avoid hurting him with its pincers.

He names her Nox.

Those aren't the only gifts he's received, but they're the most notable, and Eddie is overwhelmed and flustered by the positive attention he's suddenly receiving.

The other thing driving him crazy is Pubert Addams, a guy Eddie had never paid much attention to before but now considers his mortal enemy. He's convinced Pubert is, at worst, potentially abusive or, at best, delusional and taking advantage of Steve's kindness and inability to brutally turn him down. Or maybe Eddie is the crazy one; he doesn't actually know. Whichever it is, Eddie is ready to take the very nice dagger he now has (gift number 15; yes, Eddie has been counting) and stab him with it.

Because he can't get more than two minutes alone with Steve before Pubert appears out of nowhere. Eddie runs into Steve in the hall while everyone else is in class? Pubert shows up with a hall pass two seconds later and literally waltzes Steve away from him. Eddie finds Steve camped out in the library during study hall? Pubert materializes in the chair next to Steve before Eddie can sit down, leaning far too close as he asks Steve to explain something from their shared Gothic Literature class. Eddie, by some miracle, is behind Steve in the lunch line (and he calls this a miracle because Steve always brings his lunch in a pink box with black skulls, which Eddie considers incredibly brave of him to carry around like it's nothing)? Before Eddie can do more than say hi and get a blinding smile in return, Pubert fucking Addams shows up and drags Steve away while promising to share his lunch.

Eddie is just about to lose the last shred of patience he's struggling to maintain when Steve finds him. Ironically, it's the same bathroom where they first talked, the one with mysterious mold growing in the corner that Eddie is convinced is some new species. It's the only bathroom with a busted smoke detector, and Eddie goes there to get high during his free period.

He's halfway through a joint, smoke curling around him as he sits on the sink counter and tries not to think about what else has been there, when the door swings open, Steve walks in, and Eddie chokes on his inhale.

"Don't die like this," Steve says, stepping closer and patting Eddie's back like they know each other, "It's no fun."

Eddie finally gets himself under control, taking a deep breath and wincing at the way his lungs burn. "No worries," he croaks out, regretting the departure of Steve's hand on his back. "What are you doing here? Please don't tell me you plan to use this bathroom."

"As curious as I am about the bacteria teeming on these toilet seats, no." Steve sounds genuine, like he really does want to swab the toilet seats and see what grows. Instead, he places his bag on the sink and pulls out a familiar vial with a familiar skull and crossbones. "I just came to drink."

"Oh?" Eddie says, leaning forward with a grin. He looks Steve up and down, taking in the pale blue sweater vest and immaculately pressed jeans. "You don't look the drinking type, Stevie."

Steve hums, popping the cork out of the vial and taking a swig from it. "This isn't exactly hard stuff," he says after he swallows, distracted enough that Eddie thinks he misses his eyes lingering on Steve's throat as it bobs.

"Just beer then?"

"What?" Steve asks, looking at Eddie like he's delusional. "No, it's cyanide and vinegar."

He says it with such conviction that Eddie believes him despite knowing cyanide is poison. "Metal," he says, looking away to take another drag of his joint as he struggles to break through his own awkwardness and hold a conversation that will somehow sweep Steve off his feet and make him forget all about Pubert Addams.

Before he can think of something clever and smooth and funny, Steve leans close and raises a hand to his chest. Eddie is about to warn him that Nox is, in fact, real when the spider scuttles onto Steve's fingers and settles in his palm. She does a little up-and-down motion, circles in his hand twice, and rubs her head against his wrist. "You've been taking good care of her," Steve says.

"Uh, yeah. How is she not biting you right now?" Eddie asks, remembering all the times Nox has warningly snapped at others who tried to touch her.

Steve snorts and allows Nox to return to her spot on Eddie's vest. "I raised her," he says, his tone casual like he isn't admitting to showering Eddie with inexplicable gifts for the past four weeks, "of course, she won't bite me."

"So, it has been you," Eddie replies, wanting to hear it from Steve himself.

With a soft hum, Steve takes another sip from his bottle. "Who else would it have been?"

Eddie licks his lips, takes another drag of his joint to brace himself, and hops off the counter. "So, uh, does that mean you li--"

Before the rest of the question can be asked, the bathroom door swings open again, and Eddie feels his eye twitch as Pubert Addams frowns at them. "So, this is where you were," he says, walking over to Steve and putting an arm around his shoulders.

"I told you I was going to the bathroom," Steve says, rolling his eyes as he stuffs the vial back into his bag.

Pubert looks Eddie over, a derisive huff escaping him as he dismisses Eddie and looks at Steve. "On the other side of the school? Really?" he asks, and Eddie would be overthinking what that means if he weren't sure his veins were about to burst.

"We were talking, you know," Eddie says, gaining Pubert's attention again. Steve looks at him, too, his eyes a little brighter.

"I'm sure," Pubert replies, rolling his eyes as he takes Steve's bag. "And now we're leaving." With that, he leads Steve out of the bathroom, the door swinging shut before Steve can do more than smile apologetically and wave.

Anger surges through Eddie, and the shaky drag he takes to finish off his joint does absolutely nothing to soothe it.

He's going to kill Pubert Addams.

--------

Funnily enough, Steve's mother doesn't learn about his crush until he's five weeks into it. When Debbie finally does discover the crush, it's because she walks in on Fester and Steve decorating homemade cookies shaped like anatomically correct hearts. She pauses in the doorway, looking between the two covered in flour and raspberry jam, and asks, "What on earth is going on here?"

Steve looks up, sees this as his chance to finally tell Debbie, and smiles brightly at her. "I'm in love, Mother. He's allergic to raspberry, and Father agreed to help me make him cookies with raspberry filling, so he can feel the same breathlessness I do when I see him," he explains, using his thumb to wipe raspberry jam off his cheek.

Debbie stares at him for a few seconds before looking at Fester. "How long have you known?" she asks.

"Five weeks," Fester admits, looking apologetic. "I wanted to tell you, Pumpkin! But Steve asked me not to so he could tell you himself."

She sighs and walks over to the island, sitting on the edge of a stool and taking one of the cookies for herself. She bites off a pulmonary vein, looking thoughtful as she chews. "I must admit, these are damn good cookies," she finally says, taking one more bite before passing it to Fester to finish. "Tell me about him."

And Steve does. He gushes about Eddie for a solid hour without taking a single breath, spilling everything he's seen Eddie do and how he's reacted to all of Steve's gifts and how he gets so obviously jealous when Pubert butts into their conversations. He tells Debbie about Eddie not screaming when he saw Nox, about him selling drugs, and about his interest in music. Steve laments his hair but eagerly describes the treatment routine he already has in mind.

By the time he's done, the cookies are decorated and his mother's expression has grown a little pained. "Steve, darling, come with me," she says, getting up from the chair and leading him out of the kitchen while Fester starts to clean up.

Steve waits until Debbie has brought him to her spare room to ask, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Well, did you remember my rules about crushes?"

"Yeah. I've talked to him a lot."

Debbie smiles and brings Steve over to the bed, sitting him down and straightening his hair before perching next to him. "Then, you're not in trouble, but you've been going about this all wrong, dear."

"Should I tell Pubert to stop making Eddie jealous?"

"Absolutely not," Debbie says, shaking her head firmly. "In fact, he could try harder. Nothing gets to a man like someone he can't have, especially if he thinks they're in distress."

Steve blinks, frowning slightly as he tries to figure out where, exactly, he's gone wrong. Eddie seems perfectly enamored with him, after all, and Pubert's goading is encouraging his affections, which is the only reason Steve has allowed it to continue. "Did I give him a live spider too soon?" Steve asks, figuring that's the problem here.

"No, that's not...," Debbie trails off, mutters something about Fester being an idiot, and clears her throat. "Steve, your father is the last person you should approach for love advice."

"But...you agreed to marry him, so he must have done something right," Steve says.

Debbie barks a laugh, waving her hand dismissively. "I married your father for his money. I attempted to kill his entire family and only stopped when he promised to give me everything I asked for. I would hardly call him a casanova."

Steve nods along, smiling a little as she speaks. He's heard their great love affair many times, but he doesn't get tired of it. "But you actually love him anyway, right? Father says it's because he showered you with gifts. So, that's what I'm doing."

"I...do love your father," Debbie admits, sighing as though she doesn't know how that happened either. "But it's less because of his gifts and more because...he gave me the devotion I wanted. Anyway, if you learn anything from us, it should be that love comes second."

"What comes first?"

Debbie smiles, the expression positively devious, and Steve can't help returning it. "Obsession," she says, her shoulders rolling back some as pride fills her. "Occupy his every waking thought. Make yourself irresistible. Make him dream of you at night. Overwhelm him with desire until he simply must act on it."

"Oh," Steve says, thinking of how his father acts around Debbie and realizing that obsession never quite went away. But it's worked out well for them, and he knows his mother has experience with luring men into her arms. He nods once and asks, "So, what should I do?"

"I'm so glad you asked," Debbie says, her smile bright and her eyes filled with excitement. "You'll have Eddie falling to his knees before you in no time."

--------

Eddie didn't think it could get worse. He was already attracted to Steve, already distracted by every little movement.

He was wrong. So incredibly wrong.

Because here he is, his mouth dry and his palms sweaty and his cheeks warm because of Steve. He's not even doing anything. Well, that's not true. Steve is curling his tongue around a lollipop before sucking it into his mouth like he'll die without it. But it's more than that. It's the painted-on jeans that hug his legs; it's the pastel pink hoodie (with little bats on the cuffs) that rides up whenever Steve moves to show off a strip of skin just above his waistband; it's the way he finishes the lollipop and pulls out lipgloss, casually telling Pubert it's raspberry flavored as he puts it on.

Eddie swallows around the dryness in his mouth, gripping his locker door so tight that his knuckles turn white as he looks inside it. Sitting innocently on top of everything is a Tupperware container of cookies with raspberry filling (according to the label), and Eddie is ready to eat one just so he can die knowing what Steve's lips taste like.

That's not even the worst of it. The worst is that Steve transfers into Eddie's Music Theory class, smiling innocently while the teacher introduces him and then directs him to sit at the empty desk next to Eddie. When he's close, Eddie realizes Steve smells like cookies and cream ice cream, and he's tempted to ask if Steve smells like his favorite flavor on purpose.

The teacher saves him from the embarrassment of blurting out the question by announcing a project. The teacher then dooms him by telling everyone they're required to work with their desk neighbor. Eddie grips his pen tightly when the teacher tells them to spend the rest of their class time discussing the project.

"So," Steve says, getting Eddie's attention. When he looks over, Steve is leaning forward on his desk, chin propped in his hand as he looks at Eddie. "Want to come over to my place after school? To work on the project, I mean."

Eddie stares at Steve for a few seconds, his tongue stuck in his throat. To his credit, Steve doesn't say anything or call Eddie out for staring at him. He just waits patiently with a little smile curling his lips. Eddie finally clears his throat, his voice coming out a little strained when he says, "Yeah, sure, sounds good. After school. Your place. Project."

Smooth. Real smooth.

When Steve just smiles wider and stretches his arms above his head, pulling his hoodie up, while suggesting they do the project on the evolution of heavy metal music, Eddie realizes he's probably going to die after school.

He can't wait.

-------

Tag List (I think there's still room for a few more people ^_^)

@estrellami-1, @itsall-taken, @mugloversonly, @fandomcartographer, @hippielittlemetalhead, @agree2disagre-kicks, @ledleaf, @just-a-tiny-void, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @ink1177, @maya-custodios-dionach, @littlebluejane, @steddieonbigboy, @ravenpainter, @read-write-thrive, @deadontheinside20, @yeahhhh-suga, @nectandra, @mogami13, @mx-jinxous, @thoughtfulbreadpolice, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @xoxoladyclara

@zaddipax, @dycte, @breealtair, @geekymagicalpotato, @janea-grill, @juliasthename-adhdismygame, @yikes-a-bee, @wayward-people, @st-fics, @disrespectedgoatman, @bipusssy, @cottagecorebutnaturescaresme, @nightowl14028018, @that-binchh, @your-confused-friend, @irethsune, @goosesister, @strawberryyyenthusiast, @irregular-child, @theverywest

And, finally, a two-for-one meme special because I couldn't decide which was funnier:

#steddie #steddie fic #addams family b side #addams! steve harrington #steve harrington #eddie munson #pubert addams #fester addams #debbie jellinsky #steve deserves good parents actually #my writing #sorry it's been so long the inspiration took a while to hit for this one hfdjks

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skzdarlings · 4 months ago

Text

the kingsguard ; jisung x reader ; part iii

pairing: han jisung/reader summary: You are a queen. He is a kingsguard - a member of a holy order that vows to defend the king in the name of the gods. They forsake all earthly goods and swear a vow of chastity to avoid worldly temptation. When he stands in as proxy for the royal wedding, all those vows are tested.

content info: reader is described with curly hair, mention of curves.

content warnings: a royal affair between queen reader and guard jisung. the king is a violently abusive man and continues to disrespect reader in this part. this chapter has an additional content warning for violence, assasination attempts and explicit sexual content: guided masturbation, mirror action, and skirting the breaking of chastity vows.

word count: 13000 words.

As promised, rest comes an hour later. Some stay in the woods with the wagons while the king and his party make for the nearby village.

The edge of the forest slopes downhill, the bustling city centre at its base. Civilians gather to watch the arrival of the royal retinue. Most of them duck out of the king’s path well before he reaches them. You suppose the party might have stopped at this village on the journey in and you can believe the king did not leave a kind impression on its denizens.

You struggle with your skirts on the steepest slope. Because your husband pays you no mind, Jisung helps you, swishing back the length of his own robes as he climbs onto a boulder to reach you. You thank him, placing your hands on his shoulders while he clasps your waist. He swings you down on the path.

No sooner have you stepped down does a little voice ask, “Is that the queen? Why is her hair down?”

You look over. Some children are gathered nearby, staring at you with wide, curious eyes. A mother scolds the loud one, putting a hand over the child’s mouth.

“Your Majesty, I’m sorry,” the woman says, bowing deeper than necessary.

“It’s all right,” you say. You smile as you approach, maintaining some distance as they seem skittish. You drop into a crouch to look at the children. “Yes, I am the queen,” you say. “I’m sorry I’m bit dishevelled. The road is very bumpy and I was quite uncomfortable, but I am very happy to be in your village now.”

When they determine you are not going to lash out at them, the children get closer. Soon they are all yammering away, each of them wanting your attention for an introduction or story.

“Can you have lunch with us?” a little boy asks. He looks back at the woman. “Mama, can the queen have lunch with us?”

“Oh, I would love to,” you say, smiling to placate the very startled woman. “But my guard needs to eat too and we shouldn’t keep the others waiting.”

“He can come too!” a little girl says.

A little boy goes right up to Jisung, his eyes wide with awe. Though Jisung is not especially tall, the boy looks at him as though he is a towering titan.

“Whoa,” the boy says. “Are you a real kingsguard?”

“Aha, I am,” Jisung says. “Are you?”

“Me?” the boy asks. “I’m not a kingsguard!”

The children all squeal with laughter, Jisung grinning down at them. You find yourself smiling too, surprised by how easily and naturally it comes.

“Is that your sword?” one of the children asks, tugging on his black robe but eying the silver sword hilt. “Can I touch it?”

“Ah, maybe no pointy objects,” Jisung says, giggling nervously.

“What’s the delay?” Chan asks, striding over. The king has already entered a nearby inn to eat and drink. A few kingsguards linger outside, minding the door.

Remembering your actual place, your smile fades. You stand and smooth the creases of your skirt. You remember the king insulting your appearance and making comments about weight, so you are not particularly keen to sit down and eat a meal with him. Anxiety swallows your hunger.

“We were invited to lunch,” Jisung says, laughing. He looks from Chan to you, his grin faltering when he sees your solemn expression.

Chan notices too. His thoughtful gaze flicks between you and the children. After some deliberation, he nods.

“Right,” he says. “The king is occupied anyway. Would you like to spend time in the village instead?”

Your heart brightens. You nod.

“I’ll send Jeongin for extra security,” Chan says. He shoots Jisung a stern look. “Protect the queen.”

“Always,” Jisung says, hand over his heart as he bows.

You know it is his duty, nothing personal, but that brightness in your heart turns incandescent with pleasure.

You sit with several villagers at tables in the square. There is more food than you can reasonably eat as several different families jump at the opportunity to feed the queen, at least once they realized you are more polite than the king. You easily eat your fill.

Jeongin and Jisung stand behind you, eating their own food as they pace and supervise. At one point, they agree to let the children see their swords. They even conduct a short bout of fencing while their little crowd oohs-and-awes.

You chat with the local craftsmen and some working women. One of them makes a less than flattering comment about the king’s manners. It garners Jeongin’s keen eye, flashing in his direction. When the kingsguard looks at him, the villager ducks his head in shame, but he does not retract the comment either.

You do not say anything, merely remark that you are proud to be chosen by the gods and you are serious about the responsibility they have bestowed upon you.

“I care about this land very much,” you say.

“Well, we’re all just glad someone at the capital does,” a worker says.

“The gods have chosen a queen we can be proud of,” says another.

You are better at offering kind words than receiving them, flustered by the compliments. You demure and look away. When your gaze wanders, you see Jisung already looking at you. He nods, offering you a smile so warm and kind that it leaves you even more flustered than before.

Lunch ends and the king returns. The villagers wave until you crest the hill, then it is a quiet trek to the horses and carriages. The group in the woods have packed away their things too. Everyone is ready to depart.

The king once again disappears without acknowledging you. Jisung helps you onto the horse, holding it steady while you mount, then he swings up behind you. A little girl gave you a ribbon to tie your hair, but he still gently brushes the low tail aside. He is wearing black riding gloves, the leather up to his knuckles, his fingertips bare as they leave goosebumps on your nape.

It does not take long to get back on the road. This path dips south towards the sea and the great cliff, so this is the last city for a while as the forest trail winds uphill. The next village is a day away. It lays on the other side of the descent, so camp will be constructed in the woods tonight.

You are not sure if you will be sharing a tent with the king. He claimed he would not have you until back in the capital, but that was before his mistress ran off. You shudder, imagining him taking those frustrations out on you. You may have to put that sleeping draft to use sooner than later.

“Are you cold?” Jisung asks.

Before you can answer, he presses his hand gently on the curve of your hip, guiding you back, closer to him. He is just offering his body warmth, mistaking your shiver for a chill. You remind yourself that he is a kingsguard. He has sworn a vow of chastity that he takes pride in maintaining. You are the silly one, starved for a kind touch, who feels the burning imprint of his palm long enough after he stops.

The journey continues. Songs are sung to pass the time, though Chan throws a look over his shoulder when Jisung starts a relatively dirty one. Jisung presses his lips together, smothering a laugh. You suspect his relentlessly goofy shenanigans are for your benefit as he keeps trying to make you laugh. It always works. You find yourself giggling helplessly into your hands on more than one occasion. He seems determined to wring an embarrassingly loud guffaw out of you.

The joviality does not last.

No one is expecting the arrow that flies straight through the window into the queen’s carriage. You and Jisung are a few feet behind it and he rears back, swift but startled, the horse baying its own agitation. You also yelp, clutching the saddle as he stabilizes the horse.

Minho was close so he also rears back, settling faster without the extra weight.

“Arrow!” he shouts. It starts a cascade of action, the guards shouting orders back and forth to each other.

You do not really hear them. Your heart pounds from the sudden jolt, but it worsens as you stare at the carriage. If you had still been in there, that arrow could have pierced a leg, shoulder, or even your throat.

“Jisung…” you say, an instinctive utterance, voice wobbling.

He lays a protective hand across your middle, all his silly theatricality gone, replaced with a sterner determination. His eyes dart around the treeline. His moves the horse just in time for another arrow to whizz past.

Chaos unfolds as a veritable horde pours out of the treeline, charging the royal train.

You never fathomed being at the centre of such violent mania. You were always at home, a safe and sheltered place, with bandits and assassins relegated to the world of stories. You liked to imagine you would be brave under duress, but the reality of such quick-moving danger is very different than a slow-told story.

You are terrified, especially after two close calls, though you have no time to deliberate on the coincidence. You are too lost in panic, clutching your chest like you can restrain your racing heart.

The kingsguards take formation to combat the onslaught. Jisung opts to retreat, prioritizing your safety, especially when another arrow flies your way. He is quick dodging it, racing further down the line.

Chan, swinging his sword from up on his horse, seamlessly takes down an adversary while shouting, “Get the queen to higher ground! Hyunjin! Go with them! Fuck, I wish Felix was here. Go!”

While Chan barks orders, you look at the man he cut down. Even though these bandits are the instigators, it is still a vile sight. You have never seen a man die under such violence. Your panicked heart seems to stutter and stop and start again.

Jisung is unphased, quick to follow Chan’s orders. He turns the horse and gallops towards the opposite treeline. Hyunjin comes thundering after you. All the kingsguards are armed with an array of weapons but it is fairly obvious which tools are favoured by which guards. Hyunjin has the most arrows and the most elaborate bow. You wonder if Felix was the other bowman, hence Chan’s exclamation.

They race you through the trees. You can only trust they know their way, seeking higher ground where they can defend you until the horde has been dispatched.

You look back and shriek. Some bandits are giving chase on horseback. You have never moved this quickly in all your life but it still feels too slow.

“Hyunjin,” Jisung says, loud but calm.

They criss-cross their horses, racing past each other. Hyunjin whips around, in a single motion dropping his reins and seizing his bow, then firing a shot behind him. It knocks the closest bandit off his horse. The other three fall back and continue their pursuit at a safer distance.

Hyunjin takes his reins. The horses cross each other again, making it difficult for anyone behind you to get a clean shot.

All you can do is hold on for dear life, keeping your eyes ahead. The guards race uphill. Once situated at an advantage, Hyunjin dismounts and takes position, firing an arrow without delay. The bandits below duck and take cover. You curl towards Jisung when they fire an arrow back.

“Take her further in,” Hyunjin says, lining up another shot. “I have this.”

Jisung continues into the woods. You are very far from the trail now, surrounded by clusters of tightly packed trees. Weaving in and out slows your pace.

After a time, Jisung eases his horse to a stop, giving you both a moment to catch your breath.

“Are you okay?” he asks. His hands are thoughtless, touching you more than a guard should, but his concern is obvious. His comforting hand settles on the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing a soothing circle, while the other pats your side to inspect any injuries.

“I’m fine,” you say, though your shaking voice betrays you. “All things considered.”

“All things considered,” he repeats with an airy laugh.

You let out a laugh too, halfway to a sob, an exhale of emotion.

You turn your face towards him. You are curled right into him, his hand on your nape, the other wrapped protectively around your waist. Your heart is a wild animal, frantic in your chest, and adrenaline fills your whole body with warmth. When you meet his gaze, that warmth gathers low. It finds all that tangled anxiety and loosens every knot.

His thumb slows. The arm around your waist lifts, just a bit, his hand hovering. He seems to realize you are too close, even with all things considered, but his own adrenaline holds him. He does not let go, though he knows he should, instead staring back at you, his dark eyes running all over your face.

“Your eyes are so—” he starts then stops. His face contorts with more terror than it showed during the attack.

“Pardon?” you say.

He swallows. You watch the bob of his throat.

“I mean—” he starts, but then he hears something. The softness in his gaze hardens as he whips his head up, catching sight of different bandits approaching on foot.

“They’re after me, aren’t they?” you say, thinking of the arrow in that carriage, the men on horseback. You are not sure if they intend to kill you or ransom you, but it is obvious they are less interested in the wagons than you.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jisung says, seizing the reins. “They won’t have you.”

He is faster on horseback but the trees are so dense that it is still slow-moving. The bandits on foot gain speed. One lets loose an arrow. Jisung dodges it, but the next arrow flies so close that you feel the wind as it breezes past your face.

“Fuck,” he says. His arm tightens around your waist, so firm it steals your breath. “Hold on,” he says. “We need to dismount quickly.”

His idea of a quick dismount is essentially throwing himself off the horse. It surprises the bandits but it also surprises you, wrenching a scream as you fly towards the forest floor. He keeps his grip and yanks you into his arms.

“Run,” he says, taking hold of your hand. “And get behind me when I say.”

You run through the trees, holding your skirts in one hand and his hand in the other. He is much faster but your adrenaline propels you. You already anticipated sore legs from so long on horseback, but you are going to be in agony from so much running. Provided you survive that long.

“Jisung,” you say in a warning voice. The treeline ends up ahead but it does not open into a clearing; it opens to the edge of a cliff, looming over the sea. You can smell the brine before you see the blue beyond the branches.

Jisung does not seem surprised. He barrels right towards it. When the edge nears, so close you can hear the ocean crashing into the cliff face below, he spins on his heel. Somewhere in the swirl of black cloth, he draws his sword, twisting it in the air and catching it as swiftly. He braces himself in a fighting stance.

“Get behind me,” he says. “And maybe close your eyes.”

His first order is easy, your shaking legs happy to halt. The second order is more complicated, because you cannot help but watch as he runs straight towards the three adversaries. Your own adrenaline peaks. You want to chase after him and somehow help, but your remaining sense wrestles that instinct back under control. There is nothing you can do.

He does not need help anyway. Someone charges him but he disarms the man in two short moves. You do not even see the moment Jisung reaches back, but suddenly there is a knife in his other hand and he sends it hurtling towards the farthest opponent. It thunks into the man’s chest and the spurt of blood startles you out of your frozen panic. You finally obey his second command and close your eyes, covering them with your hands for good measure.

You have many skills but swordplay is not one of them. You do not like the sight of gore. You never imagined needing a stomach for it. Is this my life now? you think, trembling to the sound of metal on metal.

Through all your fear, there is one constant reassurance: Jisung will protect you. You do not doubt him for a moment.

When someone touches your shoulder, you do not scream, knowing it is him before you open your eyes.

Those familiar brown eyes gaze back at you. You release a long held breath in an embarrassing sputter, eyes filling with tears.

“It’s okay,” he says, cupping your cheek, the leather glove warm against your skin.

You are shaking with adrenaline, your hands still raised. You look behind him, catching sight of three bodies strewn across the forest floor.

He moves his head to block the view. He carefully takes your quivering hands. He squeezes one gently.

“I know, it’s a lot,” he says. “The first time is the worst. You’ll be okay.”

The first time. There will be more. Of course there will be more. Your shaking worsens with the thought.

You cannot find your voice. You lift your eyes and meet his gaze, imploring with a glance and nothing more. His lower lip wobbles with an unsteady breath, his brow furrowed. His eyes are deeply sympathetic.

He seems to battle some internal thought, then shakes his head and surrenders, quickly bringing your hand to his lips and kissing your knuckles. His other hand goes behind your head and he pulls you towards him, wrapping you in an embrace.

You grab him around the middle, burying your face in his neck. Your chest is rising and falling rapidly against his steadier body, but his relative calm tempers you. Some of your hair has fluttered loose from the ribbon, unsurprisingly, and he smooths some of it down.

“It’s okay,” he says.

Your shaking slows but your heart still races, all that anxiety twisting again. You keep your arms around him, lifting your head as you ask, “Are there more?”

As if in reply, there is a disturbance in the trees. Jisung spins, drawing his sword again. He sweeps you behind him to block your body with his own.

Hyunjin emerges from the trees on horseback, a hand on his bow and the other clutching his reins. Jisung exhales then curses, sheathing his sword.

“You missed all the fun,” Jisung says as Hyunjin rides past the bodies. “Were you fixing your hair?”

“Funny,” Hyunjin replies dryly. “Where’s your horse?”

“She’ll find her way,” Jisung says. “Are there more of them?”

“There might be,” Hyunjin says. He dismounts and walks up to Jisung. They clasp hands but do not linger, both scrutinizing the forest, their gazes calculating. “I don’t like this,” Hyunjin says. “That wasn’t a robbery. They were after—” He glances at you but does not say it out loud.

You look at Hyunjin, at the hair that has come loose from his tie, the sweat along his forehead, the sharpness of his gaze. You remember him getting catty with Seungmin, his haughty expression and pointed glance. That playful agitation was very different from his expression now. Rage burns behind his dark eyes.

“Whoever planned this,” he says, bitingly, “is targeting the gods, as far as I’m concerned. And I don’t care who he thinks he is.” He swings his sword free just to stab it into the ground. “And I don’t care what Chan has to say about it. This an offense too fucking far. She’s the queen.”

“I know,” Jisung says, softer but just as thoughtful. He looks at you, pity in his eyes. “It’s not right at all.”

“Fuck this.” Hyunjin yanks his sword out of the ground and sheathes it again.

That anxiety turns to lead inside you, your stomach sinking. You want to curl up on the ground and stay there. Even Hyunjin has deduced the attack was too targeted to be a coincidence. He is trying to sound vague, but you hear the underlying accusation in his thoughts; someone wanted to kill you and someone was probably the king.

It makes sense. The union has been sealed. The money has been granted. The only thing that would stop him from killing you is a sense of honour and responsibility, but this king has neither. Of course he would try and eliminate you, but he could not do it himself. The king is a font of power, a representative of the gods on earth, but he is bound to his own holy vows. The queen is chosen by the gods. He cannot kill you himself as that would be an unholy offense.

No, if he wanted you dead, he would have someone else do it, and he would never consult the kingsguard on the matter, knowing their holy order would be vehemently opposed. The kingsguard protects the king. It also metes his punishment if he betrays the gods. It is why their own oath-breaking is so serious a crime.

Before further accusations can be made, distant shouts carry through the woods. It is not the kingsguard, nor any of the king’s men.

Jisung unsheathes his sword. Hyunjin draws his bow.

“Get the queen out of here,” Hyunjin says.

“Where are we supposed to go?” you ask, shoulders already shaking as the voices get louder.

Jisung turns around. His eyes dart right past you, but there is nothing there except the expanse of sea. He stares at the open water, shimmering under the afternoon sun.

He looks at Hyunjin. Hyunjin seems to understand him without any exchange of words. He sighs and gives Jisung a withering look.

“You’re crazy, but I guess you’ve had worse ideas,” Hyunjin says.

“As usual, Hyunjin, your confidence in me is inspiring.”

“I miss when we hated each other.”

“I love you too, man,” Jisung says. “We’ll meet you at the inn. Tell Chan we took a shortcut.”

Hyunjin snorts and shakes his head. The guards part ways. Hyunjin swings onto his horse and rides towards the noise while Jisung sheathes his sword and sprints back to you. You take his hands the second he offers them, needing the comfort. He squeezes yours tightly.

“You trust me, right?” he says.

“Trust you? Yes. Why?” you say hesitantly. “You’re not about to suggest something crazy, are you?”

“What?” His eyebrows jump. “Crazy? Me? Of course not. I mean, if it makes you feel better, I don’t have to say out loud—” He looks sideways again.

A sea bird calls as it swings over the water.

“You are not suggesting we go over the cliff.” Your voice shatters on a high-pitched squeak.

“If anyone else comes this way, they won’t assume we went over!” he answers quickly. “They’ll assume we went farther into the woods and look for us there! It’s perfect!”

“Yes!” you say. “They will assume that! Because that is the sensible direction to go, not over a cliff into the sea! Over the cliff! Over the cliff!”

While you rant, he removes his leather riding gloves. You fall silent when he touches you, his bare palm curved around the slope of your jaw. He guides your face to his so he can look at you, really look at you, his eyes intense.

“Trust me,” he says. “I swear on my life and my honour as a kingsguard. My queen. Please. I won’t let any harm come to you.”

Those intense eyes first found you in a room full of people who looked right past you. They have found you again and again.

You exhale.

“Yes,” you say, scarcely more than a breath. “All right. I trust you, Han Jisung.”

“Hold my hand,” he says, drawing you close. “We’re high but not fatally high. It shouldn’t hurt but we are going to break the surface quickly. Whatever happens, don’t let go of my hand.”

“I won’t,” you say. “I promise.”

He squeezes your hand. You squeeze back.

You never had a fear of heights but maybe that was relative. Taking a running leap off a cliff is certainly one way to find out for sure.

It seems feasible with your eyes ahead, the sea rolling out in a vast carpet before you. Then your feet leave the ground and it feels as though the cosmos shift and the entire universe drops out under you.

It lasts like an eternity but also seconds. You break the surface quickly, just like he said, with a crash more forceful than the white waves on the cliff-face. It feels like a shatter in the fabric of reality. For half a heartbeat, you think it killed you, the force so impossibly brutal.

Then it settles. You open your eyes underwater. As promised, Jisung did not let go of your hand even though you landed heavier and faster, weighing more especially with your dress.

Your dress.

You try kicking towards him. He is pulling your arm but it only draws him deeper, sinking with you. His black robes swirl around him, the material light and loose in the water, but your dress turns into a silk anchor.

An instinctive cry leaves your lips, a desperate attempt to say his name, but it bursts in a flurry of bubbles.

You grab at him when he kicks down towards you. He guides your arms around his neck. You cling to him, not thinking sensibly, but with the frantic desperation of a dying animal.

You do not pray to the gods. It does not even occur to you. They have answered you with nothing but silence. You put all your faith in Jisung. He does not let you down.

Jisung tears the back of your dress, ripping the apart the seams with his bare hands. You feel the threads pucker and pop, the cloying material giving way around your neck. You help him, pulling at the neck and pushing at the sleeves. You get the bodice down your hips, then the rest falls away. It sinks without hindrance. You are left in a white shift, long but light, so freeing that you can practically taste the air.

Jisung grabs you. You cling to him. Together, you kick towards the surface. You shoot through it with a gasping breath, coughing and sputtering.

He shakes his head, whipping water droplets everywhere, then smooths his hair back in a single sweep. The blackness of his hair looks even darker when wet, an obsidian tinted blue in the sunlight and seawater. You think it is ridiculous how he cannot look bad even when soaking wet, while you feel like a drowned rat, your copious amounts of hair plastered to your face.

“Are you okay?” he asks, laughing in spite of himself.

You splash him and he laughs some more.

“If that wasn’t your worst idea ever,” you say, “I’m not sure I want to know what was.”

“No, probably not,” he says, still giggling as he paddles towards you.

You duck underwater to smooth back your hair. When you surface, he is close – so close, too close. The flow of the water pushes your bodies together. There is very little between you, black and white material, so thin you can feel his body heat. You are not sure if that racing heart is his or yours.

Your hands find his shoulders instinctively. He keeps his hands out, treading water, keeping you both afloat.

“I—” he starts then stops, staring into your face. He releases a breath. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s get to the shore.”

You emerge from the water, drenched and dripping, your white shift not only translucent but clinging to every curve. You notice first and a fiery storm of embarrassment ignites inside you. You wrap an arm over your ample chest and try to tug the material away from other sensitive places.

Jisung has his back to you. He is wringing out his black robes as best he can. When he does see you, his eyes widen, then he slips on nothing and faceplants in the sand. The tiny grains stick to his wet body like a second skin.

It makes you feel a little better about your own state, watching as he lifts his sand-covered face off the ground. You laugh and also apologize for laughing as he gets back in the water to wash it all off.

“Um, right,” he says, still scrubbing his face as he marches ashore. He does not look at you, glaring ahead at nothing while pushing his hair back. “Just… just wait.”

He gathers the hem of his robe to squeeze it dry. You watch, still flustered, but also a little bit…

You do not know the word. You just know that if Jisung thought you were unappealing, he would have no problem looking at you. But he determinedly keeps his eyes off you, muttering what sounds like a prayer.

You are about to make a comment, a joke at your own expense, when he abruptly strips off a layer.

Your eyes widen as you stare at his back.

It is true that Jisung is not as bulky as Chan or Changbin or even Jeongin. His build is a more slender athleticism. Those robes nonetheless concealed more than you thought. His under layer is far more revealing, a sleeveless black shirt and pants. His shoulders have a fair breadth, sturdy and strong, and his torso tapers down to a slim waist. His exposed arms move with a subtle musculature that catches you off guard.

You thought he was handsome this whole time, but the starkness of his sudden masculinity has your knees knocking. A regular man seems to emerge from the robes of the kingsguard and that is somehow more intimidating. You feel your own exposure more keenly.

Jisung folds the material over his fists and wrings it tightly. It makes the soft slope of his lean biceps strain.

You drop your gaze too. It makes for a comical effort when he tries to pass you the robe when neither of you is looking.

In the end, he turns around, holding the robe to block his face. You laugh shyly and step into it. He wraps it around your shoulders and you pull your arms through. Even though it is also wet, it does a better job of covering you.

“Thank you,” you say. You meet his gaze and say sincerely, “For everything.”

He laughs a short laugh, an airy, empty sound. It sounds more disbelieving than humorous. He tilts his head as he looks at you, like he has to think deeply, like there is something he does not understand. It makes your stomach twist and your heart skip. Even when he caught a glimpse of your body, it did not feel as raw as this regard. He looks at you and he sees through to something far deeper than skin and much more vulnerable.

“You know,” he finally says. “The king has not thanked me once. Not for anything.”

You do not know what to say to that. You hold the neck of the borrowed robe closed, fidgeting with it. He seems to remember himself and he shakes his head. He looks away, towards the trees that line the beach.

“Ahh,” he says. “It’s fine. The king shouldn’t have to thank me. And neither do you. It’s my duty.”

“It’s not because I have to,” you say defensively. “I want to. Jisung, I want you to know that it wasn’t meaningless. Everything you’ve done – I appreciate it. I appreciate you.”

He looks at you again, his face a storm of different emotions. The pinch of his brow looks almost sad. It makes you want to reach out and touch his face, smooth out his features under your fingers.

He steps back before you can.

“Your Majesty,” he says, bowing. He does not look at you when he stands, strutting past, heading down the beach. “Come on,” he says. “It’s still a couple hours to the city from here.”

You walk on foot to the next city, the one that will take the retinue a day to reach. Going over the cliff is certainly faster than travelling through the forest path, though obviously a less sensible approach. You entertain yourself with thoughts of the king’s carriage careening over the cliff.

It is a warm summer’s day so your wet clothes do not bother you. It feels rather refreshing. With the king far behind you, you can breathe a little easier.

You and Jisung amble along the beach. There is an awkward silence at first. Though he was chatty on horseback, having the other guards around made the conversations feel less personal. Now it is just you and him.

Fortunately, he is a natural showman. It does not take much to wrestle funny stories out of him. He has many, gleefully recounting every embarrassing story about his fellow guards. He tells you how he and Hyunjin didn’t get along at first. When you ask if it was for any political or religious reason, he laughs and says, “Nope! Just hated that handsome face. Seriously, who looks like that? Everything he did was annoying because he did it with that stupid smoulder.”

You laugh. At least an hour has passed and the sun has dried your clothes now. Your curly hair is partially dry but a tangled mess. Everything feels a little stiff and grimy with seawater, but you find you hardly care. Here, under the sun, cool from your impromptu swim, you feel more alive than you have in weeks.

“Why would it matter if he’s so handsome?” you ask. “With all due respect, it’s not as though that is especially handy in your occupation…”

He laughs maniacally at that. You swat his arm.

“It’s a valid question!” you exclaim.

“It is! It is!” he says, hands up in surrender. “And I don’t know, ha-ha. Old habits, I guess.”

“It wasn’t hard?” you ask. “Giving up your worldly goods? Swearing your vows?”

“No,” he says, a little more serious. He looks down at the ground, kicking a pebble along. “I didn’t have much to my name. And for the other part – ah. It’s never been that hard for me, to be honest. Serving the gods felt right. Before I was a guard, I didn’t really have a purpose. A reason to be here on this earth. But now… now I do.”

“I see.”

“Did you…” He clears his throat. He seems to know his question is audacious, inappropriate for a guard, but you give him an encouraging look. Maybe because you are alone, or maybe because you have shared an ordeal, or maybe because you are in his robes, he gives in. “Did you ever want a different life?” he asks. He then winces as if suddenly remembering last night. “Sorry,” he says. “That insensitive. I’m sure you—”

“It’s all right,” you say. “I know what you mean. It’s just… the question is a little overwhelming.” You look across the sea, stare at the long edge of the horizon. “Last night was… I felt a lot of things for the first time. I didn’t really know how to process it. I grew up with expectations. I didn’t know I would marry a king, but I was raised to expect a match. I knew I was in a position of privilege and that meant conceding other things. I… I just wanted to make things good for other people. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“It does,” he says sincerely.

You smile at each other.

“Good,” you say. There is a moment of silence. You look at the horizon again. “I don’t think I really know how to want something, to be honest,” you say, more to yourself than to him. “Not deeply. Not truly. I was wealthy. All my needs were met. And I was never aimless. I always had someone telling me what to do. If there was ever time I wanted something, something I couldn’t have, I don’t remember. Maybe that’s for the best. I imagine that would be more painful than not wanting at all, right? Maybe it’s better to suppress it and commit to my duty. But I don’t know if that makes sense either.”

“It… it does,” he says. “It does.”

You eventually leave the beach and cross a short forest trail, intersecting the path the royal train will ride tomorrow. You walk into the city and look for the inn. It will be empty tonight in preparation of the royal visit tomorrow.

You reach the doors at dusk. The innkeepers recognize the kingsguard and usher you both inside. When Jisung introduces you as the queen, they fall over themselves, apologizing for being unprepared.

“It’s all right,” you say. You share a laughing glance with Jisung. “We took an unexpected shortcut.”

You are seated by a fireplace and given some food while they prepare a room for you. The innkeeper’s wife provides you with a more appropriate cover so you can return Jisung’s robes. He drapes them loosely around his shoulders, but they are stiff with seasalt. Fortunately, you will both have an opportunity to wash.

When the room is ready, the innkeeper’s wife escorts you upstairs. She has prepared a bath in the bedchamber.

Jisung departs for a moment, just long enough to wash himself in another room. His outer robes are taken to be washed along with your grimy shift, though he stays in his shirt and pants as a kingsguard is not supposed to wear anything but his uniform. His spare robes are in his saddlebags.

You wash your hair while the bath water is hot. You try to focus on the heat, the water sluicing over your skin. You fight to keep your panic down as you think about encountering the king tomorrow.

You are wringing out your hair when the door opens. At first, you think it is the innkeeper’s wife returning for some reason. When you see it is Jisung, you duck down so the water covers your shoulders.

Jisung stumbles to a stop, eyes widening when he sees you in the tub.

“Oh!” he says. He spins around and walks right into the door.

You cover your mouth, watching as he stumbles back into the room, holding his face. For such a skilled swordsman, he can be remarkably clumsy.

“Are you okay?” you ask. You kneel in the deep tub, pressing yourself to the edge so it covers everything sensitive.

“Fine,” he says, pinching his nose. He waves a hand in your direction. “Fine. Sorry. They told me you were washing, just not in a bath.”

“They just sent you in here?” you ask. “Why?”

“Uh, well, I mean…” He dances over the threshold, rocking back and forth with uncertainty. He keeps his back to you. “I mean, it, uh, it is my job to, um, watch you.”

“In the bath?” you ask dryly.

“Well, everywhere.” He pinches his nose again and takes a breath. “It’s not unusual. The vows and – you know. The kingsguard is a different order. The gods see everything and we serve the gods. It, uh, it is fairly normal for at least one guard to be around at all times, regardless how the king… or queen… is… um… occupied.”

You feel a bit flushed, not just from the hot water.

“At all times?” you ask.

“Yup,” he says, popping the syllable. “The king used to have Felix stand guard in the room all night, even when he was with his mistress and ohhh wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on. I think I just put something together. Yeah, wow, okay. That was probably a bad idea for everyone involved.”

He always makes you laugh, even when you feel anxious or embarrassed. It untangles that knot of dread faster than anything else.

You fold your arms on the rim of the tub and rest your cheek there. He is still standing with his back to you, the door open. It is letting in a slight draft.

“Jisung,” you say. “It’s your duty. It’s fine. Can you please come inside and close the door? It’s getting cold.”

“Ah. Right. Okay. Sorry.” He finally enters the room, though he pointedly does not look in your direction. He busies himself with closing and bolting the door, taking far too long testing the locks.

His hair is a bit damp. He runs his fingers through it and your own fingers twitch. You have never wondered what it would feel like to run your fingers through someone else’s hair, not until now. His hair looks like it would be pleasant to the touch.

You shake your head and look away. Such foolish thoughts. You settle in your bath and leave Jisung to his busy work. He inspects every corner of the room and verifies the windows are securely sealed and locked. Eventually, he seats himself in a chair near the fireplace, warming his hands and staring into the flames.

You absently splash a bit of water, watching the droplets plink around you. Your thoughts stray to the king then his absent mistress. You cannot imagine any woman willingly and happily submitting to that man. You wonder when she and her kingsguard connected. You are glad she got away. You hope it stays that way for their sake.

Your own future is less certain. The king wants you dead. You do not know if he will make another attempt soon or if he will concede defeat for the time being. You already know he will never like you. It is obvious he is not that type of man. He was born to power, raised believing he was divine. Rather than use that blessing to aid his people, it has given him a cruel sense of superiority over them.

The best outcome is that he will decide it is too much work to kill you.

Or maybe death would be better. You thought so last night, which seems so long ago now. You remember the king’s violent hands on you, the demands he made, the way he looked right through you, treating you like a wretched thing. You shudder to think he intended to hurt and use you, knowing he was planning to kill you the next day.

“Are you all right?”

Jisung’s voice draws you out of your reverie. You are slouched in the tub, the water preserving your modesty at his distant vantage. His face is illuminated in the firelight, the flickering light revealing his obvious concern. Those dark eyes are wide as they gaze at you.

“Yes,” you say. He lifts a disbelieving eyebrow in reply. You cross your arms over your chest, though it is your heart that feels exposed. “No,” you whisper. You whisper every last word, as though you can conceal it from the gods even while their servant listens. “I’m sorry, Jisung. I know he’s the king. I know he is heaven’s earthly sovereign. I know I’m his wife. I know, no matter what he has done, if he has done anything, I have a responsibility, but I—” You wipe your tears when they start to fall. You sink a little lower in the tub.

Your posture gives away your discomfort. Jisung stands. He goes to the bed where the innkeeper laid out a robe for you. He smooths it out and picks it up.

“Here,” he says.

He does not look when you step out of the tub. He wraps the robe around your body. The fleeting contact makes you shiver. You pass each other, avoiding each other’s eyes. He returns to his seat by the fire and you sit on the edge of the bed.

The room is quiet except for the crackling of the flames.

“It’s not right,” he says after a moment.

You were picking at lint on the robe, your thoughts asunder, but you look at him now.

“Pardon?” you ask in a small voice.

He grimaces. His hand is curled in a fist. He unclenches it slowly, then occupies his hands by removing his sword belt. He holds the weapon in his hands, running his thumb across the silver hilt while he frowns.

“It’s not just because you’re the queen,” he says. “You’re— you’re kind. You’re good. Your people cried when you left. The king’s people only cry when he returns. The way you talked to the villagers... The respect between you... The way you… the way you were good to those children…”

You recall the story of his own childhood, a poor peasant boy on the capital streets with nothing to his name but a song.

He rubs his forehead, then shakes his head.

“You shouldn’t have to suffer,” he says. “No one should. But you... It’s not right. It’s not right.”

“I’m not special, really,” you say, not even to be self-deprecating but because you can see him sinking into his thoughts. You do not want him hurting for your sake.

“You are! You’re the queen!” he exclaims. “By the will of the gods! And I really do believe that. Because you... You are everything.”

You jump when he drops his sword at his feet, the metal clattering on the wooden floor. He puts his hands together as if he intends to pray, but then he looks at you, aglow in the firelight.

“Your Majesty,” he says. “You are good and kind and funny and gentle. You are a heaven-sent queen. You are everything I ever dreamed of worshipping.”

Your wild heart breaks free. It is not with the pounding terror of adrenaline, but like a drumbeat, low and steady, a rhythm that has you taking a long, shuddering breath.

No words suffice in reply. You sit in tense silence until the innkeeper’s wife knocks at the door. She has come to empty and clear away the tub.

Jisung lets her in. You smile and chat while she works – because she adamantly refuses to let you help – and she confirms everything is to your liking. You assure her that everything is perfect and she can be proud of her work. Jisung watches silently the whole time, leaning against the fireplace, loosely holding his sword.

When the room is clear and the bed turned down, the woman leaves, and the silence feels even heavier than before. You sit on the bed in your robe, drying your hair with a cloth. Jisung locks the door then takes his seat by the fire again. You suppose he is going to stay there all night.

He slouches very low, his elbow propped on the armrest and his hand on his face. His knees are spread wide enough that you can imagine kneeling between them. You do not know what would follow, just that you want to be there.

Yes, you want that, you realize. You want to be there, looking up at him with a reverence equal to his words. It would be easier than finding something to say. Your gaze would speak for you, in a position that should be reserved for the king and the gods.

You know you cannot do that. Your roles are very different. When he says speaks of devotion and worship, it as a kingsguard, not a man, even if your heart aches – because whether or not it is blasphemous to imagine, you would worship a man like that all the same.

The very thought has you breathing a harder. You imagine him looking down at you, his hand your face like before – guiding, gentle, good. You cannot imagine Jisung ever touching you the way the king did. No, it would be different. The king seized your waist with a proprietary aggression. Jisung has touched your waist again and again, always to help you, always to protect you. You know that touch would not hurt. You know that touch would not leave you curled in pain for hours afterwards.

You know what it would not be, though you cannot imagine what it would be. You just know the thought makes you tremble.

But that is not your fate. It is ridiculous to imagine. It will be the king in this room tomorrow night.

You tremble for a different reason.

“He’s going to hurt me,” you whisper. You are not sure if you even want to Jisung to hear, but you simply cannot keep it inside. You speak, like if it leaves your mouth it will materialize and you can face it, fight it.

That does not happen. You just shiver worse.

“Even if he doesn’t kill me,” you say. “He’s going to hurt me. He already tried once. I won’t be able to stop him again.”

You dare a glance at Jisung. He is staring at you with those wide, sympathetic eyes. After a moment of contemplation, he stands. He paces a little, back and forth, seemingly debating himself in his head. It turns to incoherent muttering as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Jisung—” you say, prepared to apologize. It is not appropriate for the queen to complain to a kingsguard about her duties. You are putting him in a difficult space, because he is a good man who does not want to see you suffer, but he is a holy man and he should demand you pray and do as the gods bid you.

Instead he claps his hands together and sighs a musical sigh.

“There are—” His voice breaks and he laughs, a nervous little giggle before clearing his throat. He says more seriously, “There are, uh, ways – things – um – yes – that you can do – so it doesn’t – so it doesn’t hurt.”

“Ways,” you repeat slowly. “Things.”

“Yes,” he says, gesturing nonsensically, waving at nothing. “Ways. And things.”

“What ways and things?”

“You know.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“You do?”

“Ahhh…” Jisung looks sheepish, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. He gives you a too-toothy smile. In spite of everything, warmth moves inside you, a bright and delightful joy, even if it is temporary. “Well, um. I’m chaste, obviously, so I don’t – I don’t know much. But I maybe know some things… There’s a ritual the kingsguards do… before they are, um, initiated…”

“Do…?” you say. You wave him onward with an amused smile.

“Uh, yes.” He stands ramrod straight and clasps his hands behind his back. “Don’t tell anyone I said anything, but, um. They send you to a brothel. It’s for a decent reason!” His hands fly out again, waving defensively even though you did not say anything.

You prop your elbow on your knee and your head on your fist, more entertained with his ranting than anything.

“You know,” Jisung says, speaking as much with his hands as his words, “They just want to make sure you are actually going to be okay with a vow of chastity, especially if you’re a virgin like, um, like I was. Am. Was. Am. Anyway. They don’t want a Felix situation, you know? Where you change your mind later. The vows are a serious, serious, serious thing. Felix was an exception, that whole thing was just – it was crazy, you know? But the vows. The vows. Oh, I was ready for the vows. My life… it wasn’t great, you know? I was worthless. I was a street kid. I was a thief. I came back from the war to nothing. The kingsguard gave me a reason to live. So I wasn’t tempted, oh nooo, I was never tempted. But they, um, they sent me anyway to make sure I knew what I was giving up.”

“I see,” you say. You want to correct him when he insults himself, but you suspect he will deflect any argument. Instead you ask, “What happened then?”

“Um, a very nice lady took me to a room,” he says. “I told her what I told you. I was ready for the kingsguard. I had my calling. I was finally going to matter. My friend had helped me and I couldn’t let him down.”

“And what did she say?”

“She just… listened,” he says, looking a bit fond in his recollection. You find yourself feeling a little jealous, not so much because he is thinking of someone affectionately, but because you have no one to think of that way. You have done your duty and reserved yourself and your affections for marriage, only to be given a very unaffectionate man.

You can only watch as Jisung reflects and says, “She said she knew a lot of men like me which, personally, I don’t think is true, I’m one of a kind, thank you. But she said, um… she asked if I wanted to, um, watch her. Touch herself, I mean. And, um, I, uh, did. Just to, you know, make sure. It didn’t count anyway because I didn’t touch her. It, um. Yes. Yes. That happened. So now I know ways and things.”

You blink at him. His awkward story-telling coupled with the twisting narrative leaves you more than a little perplexed.

“Touch herself,” you finally say. “Touch herself how? What does that mean?”

Jisung squeaks. He looks at you pleadingly, as if you can rescue him from the conversation he started.

“You don’t…” he says. It starts desperate but turns a little morose, his shoulders flattening with a sorrowful defeat. “No,” he says softly. “You don’t know anything, do you?”

He does not say it offensively but you bristle at the accusation regardless. You sit straight and lift your chin.

“I know exactly what we are talking about, thank you,” you say. “I am not a child, Jisung. I was raised to know my duty as a wife. I am very aware of what copulation entails.”

He raises his hands in surrender, not pushing the subject. You sit there, maintaining an air of haughty disinterest while he takes his seat again. He rubs his bare arms, absent-mindedly squeezing a bicep as he massages himself.

Watching someone touch herself, repeats in your head, your eyes on his hands as they move up his arm, rubbing his own shoulder.

Your wild heart gets the better of you.

“Do you mean… it doesn’t always hurt?” you ask in a slurred rush. When he looks at you, you look away, ashamed as you say, “I still don’t know what you mean by ways and things.”

“Well...” His tone is kind, patient. He waves a hand through the air. “I just mean… No. No, it doesn’t always hurt. Or it shouldn’t hurt, at least. So I’m told. I’m, uh, chaste. Obviously.”

“But you’ve seen a woman touch herself.”

“Yes.” The tips of his ears go red, or maybe it is the firelight. He scratches the back of his neck.

“And that… helps,” you say. “So it doesn’t hurt?”

“Yes, I think so,” he says, rubbing his hands together in a nervous fidget. “Again, I don’t really know for sure because I’m chaste.”

Yes, you know, especially with his constant reiteration of that fact. He has given you much to think about, though. Everyone always told you that a wife’s nightly duty was a painful, unpleasant thing, something to be endured to keep a husband content and create children.

You feel very foolish, much like you did last night when you tried and failed to run away. You have always considered yourself very intellectual and pragmatic, but lately you are feeling so many foreign things, encountering the world for the first time. It makes you feel younger than your age.

That anxiety twists in you again, its tangles and knots familiar by now. It is the nervous kind of adrenaline as you consider your next words carefully.

“Could you…” You cannot look at him, staring at the fire while you speak. “Could you… instruct me?”

“In-instruct you.” His voice breaks again. It feels as though you are both pubescent fools, falling over each other as you dart around this perilous subject.

When you look at him, your eyes meet, and that twisting anxiety becomes something else entirely. It burns hot as the fire, coiling inside you like some impossible, holy flame.

“Just… just so I know,” you say. “I don’t expect you to do anything like – oh, Jisung, I would never ask that, you know I would never. You’re a kingsguard.”

“I’m a kingsguard,” he repeats, like for a second he wasn’t sure.

“Yes, of course,” you say. “I’m sorry. It was a foolish question. I just – I trust you. And I just hoped—” Hope. Something you should stop doing. The gods have made their decision and there are no prayers that will move them. You must resign yourself to your fate, whatever that is. “Forget it,” you say. “I know my place. Whatever happens, whatever he does –I will bear it. I will.”

You smile a forced smile, but it is bright and encouraging. It usually fools people.

Jisung does not smile back. He runs his hand through his hair again. He takes a long, deep breath, and releases it as slowly. You swear, it is as loud as the flames, louder than the thunderous heart in your chest.

Despite it all, you keep smiling, determined to mask your emotions.

Then he looks at you and your mask immediately crumbles. Why do his eyes have this effect?

“Come here,” he says.

When the king commanded you, your body felt weak, terror coursing through your veins. It felt like an injury, so discombobulating that it incapacitated you long after.

Your body feels weak now, but the terror is not the same, not that dark, cold dread. It courses hotly, like the water on your skin, like the heat in this room, like the look in his eyes. You try to convince yourself that your body is just sore from so much riding and running, so of course your legs feel shaky as you stand and approach him.

But you know. You know. Well before you reach him, well before he guides you towards the floor-length mirror, you know.

You look at your reflection. You almost do not recognize the woman looking back at you, so undone when she has always been so meticulously composed. No emotions got in, no feelings got out, no wants were had, and no disappointments either. Now your eyes burn too, meeting his through the reflection.

He carefully, gently, gathers the hair that is loose around your shoulders. You shiver, fingers twitching, that coiled heat unravelling. He draws your hair back, guiding it over your shoulders and down your back. He briefly runs his fingers through half-damp curls. He stares at his hands, eyes wide like he is holding some much more precious than hair.

He swallows. With a final pat, he lets go. His hands fall to his sides where they curl into tightly bound fists.

“I can’t touch you,” he says. “That’s not – I’m not – I mean.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “This is not that. But you’re the queen and you shouldn’t suffer. It’s just not right, okay?” He looks at you again through the mirror, eyes shiny and sad. “I’m a kingsguard,” he says. “It’s my duty to protect you. From everything.” He smiles weakly. “Let me show you how to protect yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” you say, surprised by the rasp of your voice.

“Okay,” he says, rasping too. He clasps his hands behind his back, standing straight as if preparing for a military inspection. “I’m a kingsguard,” he repeats. You know that, so you are not sure who he keeps reassuring. “I’m not – I’m not looking at you like that, okay?”

“I trust you.”

“Right. Right. Um.”

His hands are restless. At his sides, behind his back, now crossed protectively over his chest. You find yourself looking at the subtle curve of his bicep.

“Lower your robe,” he says. Your startled eyes dart up the mirrored reflection. “Just as much as you want,” he says gently.

You stare at him through the mirror. You never imagined your own eyes could look so heated, but they are twin to his, and you see a sort of beauty in yourself because of what you see in him.

You shrug the robe down your shoulders. He pointedly does not look down, keeping his eyes on yours. That is for the best. That is for the best?

You let it fall a little more. You feel the flickering heat of the nearby fire, warming your skin as it is revealed. Your heart jumps at the sensation, the feeling of exposure.

You forget how to breathe. In that held breath, you let the whole thing spill to the floor in a soft puddle of fabric.

He blinks, once, twice. On the third, his eyes dart down, but just as quickly up. He swallows. His voice shakes as he says, “Close your eyes.”

You look at those warm brown eyes one more time before obeying. You slip into the dreamy darkness, acutely aware of the world around you. Everything feels more pronounced. You feel every touch of heat like a burning mark, his breath like a kiss on the back of your neck. That coiling heat tightens again.

“What now?” you ask.

“Bring your fingers to your lips. Yeah, like that.”

You raise your hand, resting two fingertips on your bottom lip. You feel his slow exhale.

“Kiss them,” he says. The word kiss feels like a touch. “On your tongue.”

It feels a little ridiculous but you do as he says, wetting the tips of your fingers. It does not garner any particular sensation. No, pleasure comes from knowing he is watching. You cannot see him, but you know his gaze is fixated on you, rivetted to every movement to ensure you comply with his instructions.

It makes that heat turn molten.

“Okay,” he says, his voice a much lower rasp than before. He clears his throat but it still comes out rough when he says, “Touch your neck – on your pulse, right there – slowly. Slowly. Bring your fingers down your throat.”

You do so, shivering a little at the wet trail it leaves as you trace your fingers from your jaw to your collarbone.

“Does it feel like a kiss?” he asks.

At his suggestion, the touch no longer feels like yours. You imagine him in front of you, his open mouth, his tongue darting past his lips. Your whole body tightens and that heat rushes inside you. You imagine him taking his time, his tongue travelling from your jaw to your chest.

“Oh,” you say, a musical note of a sound. You hear his breath catch. “Yes.”

“Good.” He clears his throat again. “Keep – keep doing – that. Bring your hand – yes.” His voice gets softer, barely more than a whisper as you bring your fingers down the curve of your breast. “Yes. Like that.”

“Like this,” you repeat. It is easier to follow instinct with your eyes closed, listening to the beat of your own heart, the call of your own skin. You trace your fingers around the tip of your breast, where the peak is already stiff. You breathe harder, your heart faster, as it sends a shock of sensation firing through your body. “Oh. Is this what you meant?” The small touch feels torturous. You cup your whole breast and squeeze. The pleasure leaves you trembling.

“Yes,” he says. “But there’s, um. There’s more.”

“More?” You already feel dizzy. You never knew so many sensations were hidden under the surface of your skin. You cannot imagine what else is waiting.

“Lower,” he says.

There is a leap in your bloodstream as you obey. You chase it to no conclusion as the caress of your waist does not feel like much.

“No, um.” He moves; you can hear him. Maybe his hands are making gestures, maybe he is running his fingers through his hair. His voice is still rough so he clears his throat again. “To—towards the – the centre. The centre of your – body.”

Your hand hovers above your middle. You feel flushed, suddenly understanding his direction. Your apprehension must show, because he says softly, “You don’t have to. You can just—”

“I want to,” you say. The truth spills out of you in a rush. You want. You have never wanted so much. It has never been so clear in your voice.

“You do?” he repeats.

You answer by following the call of desire and touching the only place that makes sense. You make a noise when you do, surprised when you find evidence of all that coiling heat, wet on your fingertips.

“Are you – are you wet?” he asks.

You nod. “Is that good?”

“Yes,” he says. “That’s – that’s good. Very good.”

You soak in the praise, humming a sweet little sound as you move your fingers inexpertly. You brush somewhere sensitive, feeling like you have struck every nerve at once. Your gasping cry gives it away.

“There,” he says. “Right there. Touch yourself. Don’t stop.”

You shuffle your feet apart, just a little. A jolt of pleasure shoots down your body when he nudges your bare foot with his booted one, easing your legs further apart. He does not address it so neither do you, accepting it as a simple gesture of help.

“You can use your other hand,” he says, because one is between your legs and the other is just curled at your side.

You take his advice and cup a sensitive breast with your free hand. The noise you make will embarrass you later as it echoes in your mind, but right now you let it carry you away.

You cannot use both hands for long. Your free hand moves through the air, grasping at nothing. You need an anchor. Your legs are shaking and you are swimming in the darkness of your closed eyes. Spots of colour begin to dance across your shielded vision, twirling in dizzying motions. Your core feels tight.

“Oh – Jisung. Jisung, I—”

“It’s okay,” he says, his voice more strained than ever. “Trust me. Don’t stop.”

“Trust you,” you murmur. It sends another wave of heat rolling through you. The dizziness overwhelms, your legs buckling. You reach behind you instinctively and blindly reach for him.

He catches you, his soldier instincts fast. Your eyes fly open as you crash into his chest, so much of your weight supported in the clasp of his arms. His eyes look so dark, almost a solid black, his whole face flushed as if he was the one exerting himself.

You whimper at the sight of him, at the sight of yourself in his arms, all sloping curves and fire-hot skin, soft and naked against his firm, darkly-clothed body.

You feel his hands on your sides, clutching you tightly, his front slotted along your backside. His clothes brush your too-sensitive skin, his hands hot on your body.

You move just a little, rearing up under your own hand. When you shift, you feel him, his body behind you. He is undeniably hard, straining at the material of his uniform.

He sucks in a breath, his groan a low, scraping sound, but he does nothing about his own desire, even while it makes you gasp.

He does not dare move his hands. He does not dare look away from your eyes in the mirror.

“Come to me,” he rasps. “I got you.”

All that coiling tension gives way. It feels like the moment the cosmos shifted, when the world disappeared under you, when you crashed through the surface of the water and felt as though you entered another world. You see stars and your body throbs under your fingers. Your mind is gone, your body in animalistic pursuit, needing him, pressing against him.

“Shhh,” he says gently. You are gasping, every breath a watery sound. He exhales roughly, his own arms trembling. Even his breath is shaking, his nose pressed to your temple as he holds you for another second. “Shhh,” he says again. “That was good. You’re okay.”

“Oh.” It is all you can say. You slowly withdraw your hand, your fingers embarrassingly wet.

You are not sure what possesses you. Perhaps the same instinct that compels you to clean blood off a finger pricked from needlework. Whatever it is, you listen to that instinct and bring those fingers to your lips to suck the evidence away.

“Good fucking gods,” he says, his eyes wide.

He abruptly lets go and steps back. Fortunately, you have your footing now, so you do not fall, but it leaves a chill along your exposed backside. You shiver.

He looks around the floor for your discarded robe. When he sees it, he swift dives down to gather the material in his hands.

He is on his knees when you turn around.

For a long moment, he stays down there, staring at the fabric crinkling in his hands. His knuckles lighten with the intense strength of his grip.

“Jisung?” you say softly. With your adrenaline dwindling, you feel shy. Even so, your heart is still an erratic thing. It seems physical release cannot temper whatever has taken hold of that creature. It continues to pound and stomp as Jisung lifts his head.

“Your Majesty,” he says, his voice so shot it is barely above a breath.

You feel a jolt inside you, some trembling aftershock, intensified because he looks at you. Oh, he looks at you, forgetting himself at that vantage, his eyes everywhere from the curve of your knee to the slope of your thighs. Shiny brown eyes roam slower than a lover’s touch to the place between your legs, up the curve of your waist, your heaving breasts, and meeting your eyes with a near-crazed desperation.

“Jisung,” you say, a whisper as well.

He drops his head again, cursing under his breath as he closes his eyes. He shifts to one knee then finally rises, stumbling a little once upright. He wraps the robe around you without any delay, then he throws his hands out to his sides like he is issuing surrender.

“Good,” he says, avoiding your face, avoiding everything as he stumbles towards the fireplace and his discarded sword.

You close the robe around yourself. You do not know what to say. Words seem woefully insufficient, especially with his frantic energy as he fumbles with his sword belt, fighting to get it secured around his waist.

“Thank you,” you finally say. You sit on the end of the bed, holding the neck of the robe closed, looking at him with nothing but raw and open emotion. “I – I don’t know what else to say.”

He stares back at you, a hand on the hilt of his sword. The other sits over his midsection, curls around his belt. He looks like he might burst into flames, all that white and gold flashing behind him.

“If I can ever repay you…” you say.

You don’t mean it like that, but his eyes flash with want – unmistakable desire, then terror.

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” he says, bowing low. “You owe me nothing. You’re my – you’re my queen.”

He moves so quickly, it makes you jump, raising from his bow and striding across the room. He is at the door in a matter of seconds, his hand practically crashing onto the lock. There, it freezes, his fingers curled around the iron.

You stare at him. His shoulders are tense, lifting and falling with his deep breathing. Your lips part though you have no idea what to say. There is a feeling inside you but you cannot name it, cannot catch it with your voice. You can only take another breath.

He whips back around. You jump again. Before you can even think to move or speak, he is back in front of you. He slams down onto his knees and bows again, more frantic than before, the top of his head hitting your legs.

You reach for him instinctively, the curve of his neck looking so desolate and desperate. He seizes your hands before they can touch them, bringing them together then to his lips. He kisses your knuckles, though it such a hard and needy press, it feels more like a collision. You feel his lips and the bump of his teeth. He hisses on an exhale and drops your hands.

Without another word, he stands. He marches to the door. This time he does not hesitate, flicking open the locks. He steps into the hall without looking back. The door closes between you.

You hear his body hit the door, the drag of it as he sinks to the ground. He is sitting on the floor outside.

You move towards that door without thinking. You sink to your knees as well, pressing your ear to the wood. You can hear him breathing on the other side – heaving, frantic breaths that almost sounds like crying.

Perhaps it all the sensation catching up to you, but your own eyes fill with tears as you slump against the door. You fall asleep there, listening to each other with the divider between you.

#han jisung x reader #han jisung smut #jisung x reader #jisung smut #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz smut #stray kids smut #han jisung x you #skz x you #stray kids x you #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfiction

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wwaheoh · 4 months ago

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“Your Hot Furry Boyfriend Takes You on a Date But Then Ethereal Horrors Beyond Your Understanding Interrupt [ASMR]” Von Lycaon x gnReader (Romantic)

a/n: was listening to an actual asmr rp video and realized how down bad i am

The cold night breeze whistled through the streets, a coat lended to you by your boyfriend, Von Lycaon, stopping you from feeling it in its entirety. There weren’t many others on the street, only a couple others milling about. Shops were beginning to be closed, street lamps buzzing to life, owls and cicadas beginning to sing as the Sun began to dip itself under the horizon.

Snuggling closely to your boyfriend, he wrapped his arm around you, the warmth of his fur and the solid feeling of his toned body provided were comforts of steady warmth. Smiling, the two of you continued on to your shared apartment, basking in each other's presence.

Then there was a boom.

Shattering the serenity of the evening, a dark pulsating sphere burst out in the middle of the area they were in. Screams rang out as people began to run away from the ever-growing ball. A newly formed Hollow was emerging.

Lycaon moved quickly, taking his phone out and dialing his colleague, “Rina, there’s a Hollow forming on Fifth Street.” He held you firmly, beginning to basically carry you as he moved to get you as far as possible from the emerging Hollow. “You know what to do.” Hanging up from his phone before pocketing it, he turned to you. “Let’s go Dear.”

Only a few steps before the Hollow burst, enclosing the entirety of the surrounding area in its new space-warping environment.

“Faster than expected…” He murmured to himself, a sense of worry building in him- though not outwardly exposing it, mannerisms learned from his years as part of Victoria Housekeeping. Without a Proxy, there was no way they could get out without getting lost within the Hollow themselves. All they could do was,

“Wait for Miss Rina.” Lycaon held you tight, knowing that your Ether Aptitude was way less than his. A safe estimation would be that you had twenty-three minutes until your time ran out. That would not happen.

As the two of you ventured throughout the Hollow, aiming to either encounter Public Security or be located by Phaethon- either way, being sitting ducks was not an option. At your behest, the both of you searched for survivors. It seemed most people followed protocols, encouraged to learn it by heart from a young age. You couldn’t not know what to do in case of a sudden Hollow appearing when living in New Eridu after all.

Just as you were looking through some windows, searching for the elderly or those unable to escape, Lycaon rushed forward in a blur of white being trailed by a cool blue. An Ethereal. It had just rounded the corner before being split into two and ultimately disintegrating back into the Unknown Substance of the Hollow. You rushed to be closer to him, before he raised his hand.

His ears rotated before his fur stood up. A break in his characteristic cool composure. Quickly, he grabbed you before you could even react and rushed the two of you behind an alley. Just as you were about to speak, he covered you mouth. You moved to shoot him a look of indignation before getting a good look at the expression he wore. Worried.

A shadow passed through the streets. It was large, about the size of a firetruck. Looking up, the two of you became petrified at the sight of the Ethereal. Bigger than any ever recorded, squid-like in it’s appearance. It flowed through the skies like water, a dead gaze as it searched for… something.

“Psst!”

The two of you jumped, Lycaon nearly punting the pint-sized newcomer before stopping himself midway through, the now recognized-Bangboo raising its small arms in surrender. “Wait! Miss Rina sent me!”

“Ah, Master Proxy. I apologize.”

“It’s fine! That weird squid Ethereal is something I’d expect to see at the Outpost! But forget that, let’s get you out of here.”

“Please, I think we have about thirteen minutes left.”

“Isn’t your Aptitude high?”

Lyacon motioned to you, with you waving as the Bangboo waved back.

The Bangboo turned back to the wolf-Thiren.

“Is that your…?”

“Significant other? Yes.”

“Wow! For some reason I both did and didn’t expect that…” The Bangboo muttered to themselves before turning back to lead them. Then they stopped before quickly motioning for everyone to hide.

The shadow of the titan-sized Ethereal passed by once more, now seemingly closer to touching down onto the ground than before.

“Alright let’s go!” The Bangboo whisper-yelled, waving for them to follow. As they passed and rounded a few more corners, the Bangboo seemed to have gotten a premonition, “Ethereals!” Lyacon burst forward to protect the team as mentioned Etherals burst out of the woodwork, black charcoal bodies with green oozing out from their underbody.

He stepped forward before bursting into motion, leaving a small crater where he used the ground as a starter block. Quickly disposing of the enemies in a professional matter, none of the Ethereals could even hope to land an attack as he fought, decimating their numbers with practiced ease.

Taking out his watch as you and the Bangboo caught up with him, you noticed a furrow in his brow. Questioning it, he replied, “Eight more minutes. Phatheon, we must hurry.”

“Right!” The Bangboo replied, scurrying forward to lead the group out once more. Passing through a few portals. The tell-tale sound of Public Security vehicles and Rescue Bangboo becoming more audible as your group began to reach the exit.

“EEEAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”

A screech that could be heard from all throughout the Hollow, turning back, all three of you watched as the Ethereal noticed your group, having sacrificed hiding for efficiency in haste to get out. The being began to approach with frightening haste, unnatural in how something so big could move so fast.

Breaking out of his stupor fast, Lycaon hoisted you and the Bangboo up with his arms and began to sprint in the direction Phaethon pointed them in before being disrupted.

“Where to Master Phaethon?”

“Left!”

“Now take a right!”

“One more- oh jeez it’s catching up!”

Lyacon used every ounce of strength in each push his legs gave, pushing through stray smaller Ethereals, not wanting to give the monstrosity chasing them a chance to catch up. After a few more blocks, it had gotten so close that you could hear the squelching of it’s tendrils, with it only being stopped by the buildings. Just as it seemed that it would begin to make a grab at Lyacon, gunfire rang out.

Public Security, with this particular group headed by Zhu Yuan and Qingyi, with backup from neighboring departments as well as their very own, laid down gunfire on the Ethereal. Forcing it to evade to avoid taking the brunt of the firepower being let out on it.

“Phatheon!”

“One more right!”

He barreled forward, just as a wave of nausea hit you. Two more minutes.

Sprinting forward, he fell into one final tear in reality, arriving in a space in front of the Hollow.

Setting you and the Bangboo down, he let you catch your breath as he reconvend with Phaethon.

“I am in your debt, Master Proxy. Money will be forward-”

“I- It’s fine Sir!”

“Pardon?”

“Just for this once! Take it as a token of good faith.”

Lyacon smiled, nodding as he turned his attention back to you, leaving the Bangboo to return back home.

“Are you okay?” “‘m fine… just tired.” “Of course, let's have you checked then we can return home, okay?” “Mm…”

You nodded off to sleep as he lifted you in his arms, taking you over to the doctor to get checked. Waking you up only for a little bit before falling right back to sleep after all the tests were done. You were cleared- only being exhausted from prolonged exposure to the Hollow.

Setting you softly onto the shared bed, Lycaon softly caressed the top of your head. Thankful for having been able to get you out with minimal roadblocks. Had the two of you been even a little slower…

Best not to think about it.

Later, the Hollow would be contained once more through the combined efforts of Public Security and the military sector based in Scott Outpost. Only a few casualties- a testimony to the effectiveness of their efficiency.

#zenless zone zero #zenless zone zero x reader #zzz x reader #zzz #von lycaon #von lycaon x reader #lycaon x reader

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rintoorou · 4 months ago

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ALOHA, HAWAII — iv. you meet people twice

(wc: 780-ish…)

the sound of a telephone ringing wakes you from your slumber.

head still buried deep in the pillows, you blindly reach for the handset and hold it up to your ear. “hello?”

“good morning, ms. sakusa! were you able to settle in all right?”

“yes, thank you,” you reply groggily, pulling the duvet closer with your free hand. still tired from the flight, you vaguely remember the golf cart ride to your lodging, the staff helping you with your luggage before bidding you goodnight, and crashing on the bed as soon as you shut the door closed.

“i was just calling to inform you that the guest in the complimentary suite arrived last night." your eyelids flutter open at this; you remember asking the front desk a favor too. ever since kiyoomi told you that his fiancé asked a friend of his to help you with the wedding preparations, you couldn’t help but feel anxious. atsumu wouldn’t ask him, right? those in your small college circle knew how bad your relationship got—from irritated glares sent across the room to hurtful jabs disguised as jokes. they noticed how you started arriving to get-togethers separately until you eventually just stopped coming. on the day after graduation, you removed all your mutual friends from your socials and blocked him.

even so, you hoped atsumu still held some sort of friendly affection for you and be considerate enough to not ask him, but just to ease your nerves, you asked the receptionist to call and let you know when his friend arrives.

“he arrived around an hour after you did, actually. we didn’t call in case you were already asleep.”

“that’s alright. thanks for letting me know.”

“no problem, ms. sakusa! let us know if you need anything else." the call ends with a dull beep before you finally pull yourself up to sit. you flip over your phone to check for any messages, but the image of a dead battery flashes on the screen.

you check the clock on the nightstand; it’s 9:41 AM. figuring it’s not too early for atsumu’s friend to be awake, you plug your phone into the charger and head to the bathroom for a shower.

it’s warmer outside than in your cabin, but the refreshing summer breeze makes up for it. unlike the rain, you enjoy the soft glow of the sun on your skin and the way it almost instantly makes you feel at ease. a staff member greets you as you pass, and you smile back. it only takes you a few strides until you’re standing in front of an oak door similar to your own. you take in a small breath and tentatively knock three times.

you wait for a bit, though you don’t hear anyone on the other side of the door. he’s probably still asleep.

you step back to leave, but the front door swings wide open. “oh, good mor—”

your words falter as you take in the disheveled man in front of you. even with the sleep still evident in his eyes and an unkempt shirt revealing just a little bit of his collarbone, you instantly recognize those narrowed green eyes staring back at you.

“what the—”

“fuck,” suna curses, his eyes widening, “what the hell are you doing here?”

you draw in a sharp breath, “what the hell am i doing here?! what the hell are you doing here?”

“i’m helping atsumu with his wedding.”

“i’m…” you take a moment to process his reply, then it hits you. suna is the friend who’s supposed to assist you with the wedding; at the same time, he realizes that you’re the relative atsumu was talking about. of fucking course.

he lets out a bitter scoff as he tears his eyes away from you, immediately making your eye twitch. it takes so much of you to resist the urge to hit him right then and there.

“you’re going to turn this wedding to shit.”

“then by all means, leave. aren't you good at that?”

“oh, i know when it’s right to walk away.”

the glares you send one another are intense, harsh and fiery. unresolved anger and frustration from the breakup and years of not seeing each other come rushing back, leaving neither one of you willing to back down.

you tell yourself to be the bigger person, but you simply cannot stand to look at him any longer. “stay the hell away from me, suna.”

his eyes narrow, “ditto.”

the door slams shut just as you spin on your heels, fists clenched as you march back to your cabin. kiyoomi (and maybe atsumu) better have a damn good explanation for this because there’s no way in hell you’re working with your asshole of an ex.

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notes why am i lowk scared... don't fight guys 😣

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 month ago

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Unwanted 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, bullying, insults, body insecurity, perversion, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Summary: You're used to being unwanted, but a strange man might just convince you that's a good thing.

Note: this is a sequel to Unsolicited/Unexpected, but with a different reader. This is Lloyd's sequel. Peaches is flourishing somewhere else.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You keep behind your brother a he marches through the mall. If you walk beside Derrick, he’ll be sure to elbow you away and if you get ahead of him, he’ll think you’re trying to prove something. Anything but out of sight is incorrect.

That’s the way it goes in your family. Your brother is the chosen one. He’s perfect, but you, you’re a disaster. You’re a nuisance. Unwanted.

“God, stop dragging your feet,” he snarls over his shoulder. “If we’re late, I’m going to tell dad it’s your fault.”

“I’m going,” you go faster but he easily outpaces you.

“And if they’re out of stock, it’ll be your fault too,” he spits. “I don’t even know why they sent you with me. Probably to get a break from you.”

Probably. You can’t disagree. Your parents are no more fond of you than your brother. No one really is. Who would be? You’re thirty and you still live at home. Pathetic. Useless. Everything they say is true.

You’re out of breath as you enter the department store. It’s one of the upscale ones with the overpriced throw pillows and the store brand merchandise. Derrick turns left even as you glance right towards the beauty department.

“Um, Derrick?” You shuffle after him. “I think the perfume is--”

“Shut up,” he sneers.

You obey. It’s easier to let him figure it out on his own, even if in the end, he’ll be mad at you for not telling him either. That’s just how it is. You can’t do anything right.

He wanders through the men’s clothing and comes almost full circle before he finds the fragrance desk. He growls and you don’t miss the glare he sends in your direction. You linger behind once more as he steps up to the desk and slaps the bell.

“Yo, anyone here work?” He hollers.

You shrink down in embarrassment. If only you could make yourself small. You’ve never been that. Curvy at best, chunky some might say, fat in your mother’s words.

“About time,” Derrick huffs as a woman in a black turtleneck appears behind the glass counter. “Yeah, I’m here to pick up a bottle of... hold on.” He takes out his phone and taps around, mumbling as he scrolls. “I just had it... where the fuck--” He sniffs in frustration, “what the fuck kind is it?”

He turns to bark at you and you flinch. You glance around as other customers pause to look at his rising voice. You push your shoulders up and gulp.

“White Ice,” you say. You can see the gleaming bottle your mother forbade you from ever touching. You never had the courage to tell her it stinks to high heavens.

“Yeah, what she said,” he spins back.

“Oh, well, I think we might have a few bottles. The holidays are a bit chaotic,” she chimes.

“Whatever,” he mutters.

He follows her to the end of the counter and around to the shelves. You stay where you are. The blend of scents is a bit too much, you don’t need to wade any closer.

You busy yourself by perusing the promotional shelf of beauty samplers. Body spray, lip balms, even hand lotion. You lean in to figure out what those little metal containers are.

“Damn, look at the dump truck on you,” a man chortles heartily at the disgusting remark as it leaves his lips. “That’s not a peach, that’s a damn three-tiered cake.”

You don’t react. You tend to block out the general public. They often to the same to you.

“Hey, sugar stack,” a hand falls onto the top of the shelf before you and you stand straight. You gape at the man who leans on one foot and smirks at you, “I’m talking to you, or can you not hear me over that extra cushion? You need me to push it outta the way?”

“Excuse me,” you utter. “Do I... know you?”

“Nah, but you can get to know me,” he snickers. “Gimme a hint, huh,” he wiggles his finger towards your coat, “does the balcony match the basement?”

You stare at him dumbly. He can’t mean... that. It’s gross. Disgusting. And not very flattering. You know what he’s doing, he’s making fun of you.

“No thanks,” you turn away and fold your arms.

“Where’re ya goin’? I’m just gettin’ to know ya, baby?” He trails after you as you search around for your brother. “Come on, I know you don’t wanna go back to that jerk you were following around. Jackass barely looks at you, does he?”

You shake your head and keep going. You stop as you see your brother. He has a bottle in his hand and a scowl on his face. Even he knows it isn’t the right perfume but the associate is doing her best to sell him the substitute.

“Really? You’re gonna ditch me for that jackwad,” the stranger scoffs.

“He’s my brother,” you mutter.

“Ah, that explains it. Even better reason for you not to both. Come on. Let’s get outta here and you can rest those legs,” he grabs your arm and spins you back to him. “I even got a nice seat for you to sit on.”

He licks two fingers and smooths his mustache. You curl your lip. Oh god. He has nice enough eyes and his hair is tidy, but the lines around his eyes and in his forehead give him about a decade on you at least. Besides, the way he talks is nasty.

You might not have many options but nothing is sometimes better than anything. Not much more or less than what you already have. You shake your head, “no, thank you, sir.”

You turn your back to him again and tug your arm away.

“Sir? Oh, say it again, jello jugs,” he purrs, “I like the way those lips sound around it. Oh, wait, wait, try Lloyd. Yeah, I wanna hear you say my name--”

“Stop,” you hurry away but he’s quick. “Please, leave me alone.”

“You should be thanking me with a wide load like you got. I mean, look at me, sweet cheeks. I’m a ten. Eleven if we’re being honest about it,” he taunts. “You really wanna hang out with baby boy brother or you wanna go with a real man and see how he can make you shake--”

“I said leave me alone,” you hiss over your shoulder. “Or my brother will tell you himself.”

“Pfft, alright, sweetheart, you really think I’m afraid of that bitch boy?” He scoffs. “Fine, you go one, hide behind big brother. All alone. Unlicked.”

You stop short and peek back at him. He sticks his tongue out lewdly and you shudder. You blink at him then twirl back to your course.

You reach your brother as he snarls at the associate, “stop wasting my time. You either got it, or you don’t.”

“I’m sorry, sir--”

“Save it!” He puts his palm in her face and turns to you, “come on, let’s get outta here. Fuck. Dad’s gonna be pissed.”

You move out of his way and let him go ahead. You scurry at his heels and keep your head down. That man looms, pretending to look at the perfume rollers. You ignore him as you wring your hands.

He isn’t wrong. You don’t get much attention from men. None, actually. Yet, his isn’t welcome. His makes you feel worse somehow. Dirty. Wrong.

You just want to forget about him. You’re certain you will soon enough. With the mood Derrick is in, your parents won’t be much better.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #series #drabble #unwanted #the gray man #sequel

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secretsandwriting · 9 months ago

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Obsessed

Ethoslab x gn reader

Where Etho is sick and the reader is dragged in to take care of him

As per usual, I've attempted gn reader but I am used to writing fem so if I messed it up let me know and I'll fix it

(UNEDITED)

You weren’t sure why you were pinged by Gem to meet at Etho’s base as soon as possible, but there you were, landing a few steps away from Gem in front of Etho’s base. She turned around, clearly relieved to see you.

“Etho’s sick.” That wasn’t good but you weren’t sure why that required your immediate arrival, Gem seemed to catch on to your unsaid question. “He’s refusing to believe he’s sick and won’t let anyone help him. Tango said he’s way too warm to just brush it off, and since Etho listens to you a little better than the rest of us I asked you to come.”

“I don’t know if he will on this, especially if he wants to get back to his redstone.” You followed Gem into Etho’s base and found him arguing with Tango and Pearl, both trying to get him to lay back down while Etho tried to get past them to work on whatever he felt was calling his name. Which left only one method that would maybe work.

“Etho?” He whipped around and smiled through his mask at you.

“Hey Y/n! Want to come look at my farms if Pearl and Tango would get out of the way?” You held up some papers.

“Actually, I have some plans I’ve been testing for a farm but I’m not sure if I have the numbers right. Would you mind looking over them with me?” Etho paused and his gaze flickered between you and the papers.

“Of course!” With that, your fate was sealed. Etho ushered you to the kitchen table and the papers were laid out and he started pouring over them, figuring it out in his head and mumbling it out. It didn’t take long to hear the effects of his fever. His rambling made no sense. Less sense than most of his redstone rambles. While he was talking, you gently placed your hand against his forehead. Etho froze before ever so slightly leaning against your hand.

Tango was right, he was burning up.

“Alright, that's enough. You need to get some rest, your fever is high.” Immediately Etho protested, “I’ll make you a deal. If you listen to what I tell you, I’ll take care of you. If you don’t, I’ll ask Doc too.” He weighed his choices. “Head to bed, I’ll be there in a minute with some things.” Etho jumped up and headed to his room, he was out cold when you went up three minutes later.

You took that time to get everything you needed together and make some light food for when he woke up. Knowing full well a sick Etho would take advantage of any open second to get away and go back to work and once he started it could be almost impossible to pull him away.

Etho was out until the next morning, and as predicted, he tried to escape out the window. Thankfully you had blocked all of them off so he couldn’t but he still tried. Begrudgingly, he accepted the tea and sipped on it slowly while he ate his soup.

When you checked his forehead, he leaned into your touch more than he had the day before, he was also quite a bit warmer then he had been. Hoping you were wrong, you gently pushed his hair off his forehead and kissed it. It was worse, though you were pretty sure the sudden flush in his cheeks was not from the fever.

Etho whined and complained when he was sentenced back to bed but immediately calmed down when you offered to read something to him. Settling down under a large pile of blankets he fell asleep to the fairy tale you were reading to him.

The next time he woke up, he was delirious and to make it worse, he kept trying to get up to go work on some redstone project. Nothing you tried would convince him to settle down and at least stay inside.

“You wanna know what will keep me inside?”

“Yes Etho, I do!” Etho’s expression morphed into something you weren’t sure you wanted to know and he leaned a little closer to whisper to you.”

“A kiss, and not on the cheek, it has to be on the lips and you have to cuddle with me.” Oh boy, you had a feeling you knew how this was going to end.”

“I will give you a kiss on the lips and cuddle with you, if you listen to me and you can collect it when you're better and no longer contagious.” He pouted at the last part but seemed to accept it as he settled back down in bed and fell back asleep.

Three days later, Etho was better and you left to go back to your base for the first time in 6 days. It was nice to finally shower in your own home, and it would be nice to finally get a full nights sleep again in your own bed.

What you didn’t expect was for someone to join you.

“It’s just me.” Etho. “I am here to collect my kiss and cuddles.” Of course Etho would remember that, why did you even agree to it i- Your thoughts were cut off by Etho pulling you closer to him.

“I’ve wanted to do this for years.” Etho whispered before closing the space between your lips. It was a short kiss, but damn was it good. You could feel the questions in the air, questions you weren’t sure if you knew how to answer. So you did the only thing you could think of that could possibly answer a few of them without having to find the words.

Placing your hand on his cheek, you pulled him back for another one. You could feel his smirk through your kiss and his arms tightened around your waist.

“I didn’t know you were so obsessed with me.” He teased, before you could fire a response back he continued, a little more serious, “It’s ok though, I’m obsessed with you too.”

#ethoslab #hermitcraft etho #etholabs #etho #ethoslabs x reader #etho x reader #hermitcraft x reader #hermitcraft #gender neutral reader #gn reader

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i4oba · 8 months ago

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nct dream as… / movies 𓈒✳︎🪜

[feel free to follow me on letterboxd eheh!]

✰ MARK — 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

“maybe it was the dose of alcohol in your system, or maybe it was just the rush of adrenaline you got from the people of the party, but when you looked into mark’s eyes, you couldn’t conceal your feelings at all anymore. it was all just fun and games, you weren’t amused at all, hardly deciding on giving attention to his antics… but here we go now – you, ready to throw up, while listening to him speaking his mind, saying whatever he could think of, while the only thing that filled your brain was only one thing: kissing him. kissing him right there and then, in the crack of a night at some random’s place, both taking place at the rusty swing. should you do it? does he actually want you, or are these mere mixed signals?

✰ RENJUN — THE HOLDOVERS

“he could’ve sworn this was by far the best point of his stay at the campus – or, rather away from there, as both him and his teacher took a trip to boston, as it was all supposed to be, am i right? ice skating, searching for books on the street, deepish talks and a screening at the movie theatre… he felt happy, relieved even, but how long is this going to last him? how long can he rely on the sole feeling of relief when he cannot be so sure when it’s gonna end all so suddenly? is he selfish, or is he rather self conscious? his arm was hurting badly, aching, as he leaned back, deciding last minute about what he wants to do – “i need a bathroom break” is all he says.”

✰ JENO — FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

“he had to rub his eyes so hardly when he spotted you, ever so beautiful and ethereal in your light pink dress, smile so charming his heart wouldn’t stop beating way too hardly against his chest. he wouldn’t have thought you two would meet ever again, but here you were – a wedding (again), which was pretty much unwanted and rushed, but he couldn’t even think about how much of a bad choice it was from his best friend to marry this early. all he could focus on was the way you softly talked to one of the guests, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you simply nodded. you only looked up for a minute, maybe two at that, but you definitely noticed jeno’s gaze on yourself. you mouthed something at him, which took him a few moments to solve properly, caught off guard by the never forgotten beauty of yours. “i missed you, jeno”

✰ HAECHAN — NOTTING HILL

“when you looked at him, barely even paying a glance, his breath instantly got taken away by the sight of you. not only because of the fact that you were a top actress, wandering into his bookshop, but because you were stunning as well, glowing, brightly shining in front of him, seemingly searching for something through the shelves, sunglasses sitting atop of your nose. he could’ve easily just take a few steps closer to you, even offer some help, but he was way too flustered to even mutter his name if you asked him. but why would that even happen, right? he’s nothing, compared to you – an angel, he cannot quite capture. and then you came up to the counter, three books in hands… well, maybe he could…”

✰ JAEMIN — BEFORE SUNRISE

“standing next to the train, which would take him to paris, he simply just looked at you, stars in eyes and blush on cheeks, as he reached for your hands, thumbs caressing the back of them ever so slowly – his forehead against yours, you could breathe in the unsaid words that were playing on his lips endlessly, and you could’ve just kissed him, kissed him once and then a thousand times more, so he would never leave. but he had to leave, leave vienna behind, leave the journey behind, leave you and the mesmerizing feeling of blooming love between the two of you. his eyes were rather teary, as you bore into them. “we have to meet here again” you said, both hands on his cheeks, eyes full of certainity. you want this, more than anything. “ten years from now – the same place, the same feelings, the…” would that happen? ever again?”

✰ CHENLE — LITTLE WOMEN

“was he actually interested in the play you wrote or not, you did not even care, as you saw the way his eyes formed such definite half moon shapes, smile so bright and wide, you’d never seen such beautiful sight. he laughed so loudly that it was echoing in the almost empty attic for way too long, as you kept on acting with your sisters, relentlessly and enthusiastically, staying in role even after you saw chenle, wiping his tears of laughter. you took it as a sign – he liked it, he enjoyed it, which was all you needed to be reassured: you did good. not only you, as the writer, but your sisters too, little actresses and primadonnas. chenle wanted to say something, he was keen on letting you know whatever was going through his mind, but he kept it to himself. maybe later, maybe on a different day – maybe when he gathers his courage to tell you he’s madly in love with you?”

✰ JISUNG — DEAD POETS SOCIETY

“with utter and undeniable admiration, jisung simply just looked up from the trembling hands of his, that were previously laying on the crumpled piece of paper he had torn out from his notebook - he wrote the poem with pencil so the letters seemed and were pretty much smudged, but he didn’t even need the paper itsel, he knew his creation by heart, as he rewrote it thousands of times because of sheer anxiety. he wanted it to be perfect, he wanted it to sound like something whitman would adore, something rilke would’ve written in those early years. when his teacher’s voice finally reached his ears, he simply stood up, legs shaking, as he walked out to the front, barely being able to form words, as the fright got over him - “do it, son, i believe in you” was all he heard - he sighed, and then… “unbeknownst to me the feeling of…”

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actiniumwrites · 1 year ago

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𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇

synopsis: in which you find out the truth about lyney’s identity

characters: lyney x gn!reader

wc: 695

warnings: pure angst, established relationships, breakups, reader has a past with the fatui, mentions of physical harm and death, major spoilers for the 4.0 archon quest

notes: i am officially in writers block and want to die because of it. also, i know this idea is a little old since the quest came out a few weeks ago, but i still wanted to write something about his identity. also, yes, i would forgive lyney, but this blog has not seen pure angst in awhile so…🙂

“You were never going to tell me, were you?” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you finally break the silence. Your arms are crossed as you lean back against one of the brick walls of the Opera Epiclese. Lyney stands approximately three feet away from you.

He’s silent, unable to answer the burning question. It’s been on your mind all night ever since Furina had so proudly announced it to all of the court. Lyney was a part of the House of the Hearth. Part of the Fatui.

“I can’t lie to you,” he carefully picks his words, terrified of further upsetting you.

Cutting him off, you scoff and turn away from him further than you already had, “What? Like you haven’t been lying to me this entire time? Real funny.”

Lyney takes a single step closer to you.

You take one back.

“Please, I wasn’t lying to you. I just left out some parts of the truth, that’s all, I swear!”

“You are part of the Fatui, Lyney. The Fatui! How can I trust you when you’re part of an organization who hurts people, kills people, even,” you frown. Not a single part of you isn’t affected by the hurt you feel. He hears the way your voice is beginning to break too, like the truth of it all is finally beginning to set in.

His hands come together as he pleads, “I promise I’ve never hurt anyone, not ever! Not everyone and everything in the Fatui is evil.”

For the first time tonight, you turn toward him and look him in the eyes. Your arms become uncrossed as you feel anger fuel your every action, every thought, every feeling. Walking toward him step by step, you hold out a finger, digging it into his chest as you speak, “You don’t get to pick and choose when you’re a part of something dangerous, Lyney! I don’t care if you aren’t the one doing the killing or the hurting, you still help them. What about all those people I told you about? My friends and family who got hurt by the Fatui? Did that mean nothing to you?”

He watches as tears form in your eyes at the mention of them. Of course he remembered, how could he not? The day you confided in him about your past and all the misfortune that you were dealt by the Fatui was eternally engraved in his mind. The organization who had taken so much from you that you swore you would find a way to end it one day, even if it meant dying. You had laid everything out to him and the entire time he was on their side.

You take two more steps back from him, voice shaking as cave in on yourself, “No wonder you were so quiet that day. God, and here I was thinking you actually cared.”

“Please don’t say that,” he whispers, tempted to reach a hand out to you, but not willing to scare you off. For all he knows, this could be the last time he ever sees you, “I care about you so much it hurts me. I really was horrified by the things you told me, I promise you that. Understand that I’ve only ever been talking to you as just Lyney. Your Lyney.”

It takes everything in you not to run into his arms and forget all of this is even happening. Give into his pleading words and return to who you thought was the only person who had ever really loved you. You want to pinch your arm to wake yourself up from the cruel nightmare, but somewhere deep inside, part of you has already accepted the truth and the fact that there is no universe in which you could accept his true identity. And so you take one final look at him before you take your final step, allowing the tears to fall from your eyes as you bid him a permanent farewell.

Lyney would never forget the final words you spoke to him. Four words that managed to break both your hearts more than the truth had.

“You’re not my Lyney.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin angst #lyney #lyney angst #lyney x reader #lyney x you #lyney x y/n

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mingoooossii · 9 months ago

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Love.

Yunho x reader

Synopsis: so reader gets shit from work and stuff happens and they make up.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, insecurities, fear of abandonment(?),self-hatred(kind of). fluff at the end and some kisses. Might be a Lil awkward since I can't do emotions. Also it's long, idk how many words but it's long. Typos maybe?

"Babe!"

The soft glow of the television flickered across the room as Yunho entered.

"Have you seen my hoodie? The grey on-"

But his question died in his throat as his gaze landed on his partner.

You sat huddled on the couch, the phone pressed tightly to your ear, brow furrowed in a picture of distress. Yunho's smile faded, concern gnawing at him.

He stepped closer, his voice soft. "Everything okay?"

You flinched at the sound of his voice, quickly ending the call. You took a deep breath, trying to mask your distress with a weak smile. "Yeah, just work stuff." you mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

Yunho wasn't convinced. He knew you better than that. Your "work stuff" rarely left you this visibly shaken. He sat beside you his hand hovering over yours, offering silent support.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

You hesitated, then sighed, your shoulders slumping in defeat. "They called," you said, voice barely above a whisper. "About the project."

Yunho's stomach clenched. He remembered how much time and effort you had poured into your current project, how excited you were about it. His mind raced with possibilities, none of them pleasant.

"It's gone." you said, voice cracking. "Deleted. Apparently, a system glitch. And now I how to redo it in 3 days."

Anger sparked within Yunho. "That's ridiculous! It's not your fault, and expecting you to pull that off in that time…"

His words were cut short by a sharp look from you. "Don't." you snapped, your voice thick with unshed tears. "You wouldn't understand."

Yunho recoiled, his heart sinking. "What do you mean I wouldn't understand?" His tone softened, replaced by confusion.

Tears streamed down your face. "You're good at everything, Yunho." you whispered, voice laced with self-hatred. "You're talented, it's all natural to you. I'm not like that i..." You paused, wiping your tears away desperately.

"I'm not talented like you and... this is the one thing that I'm good at and...if I can't even do that, then what good am i?" You sobbed, wiping your face, frustrated at the non-stopping tears, breaking his heart further.

Your words hit him like a physical blow. He had never realized how you perceived him, or how it made you feel. The truth was, he admired your dedication, your resilience, the sheer amount of effort you poured into everything you did.

"That's not true..." Yunho started, a hint of desperation as he reached out to you. "You're wrong. You're much more than you think you-"

"I don't need you to appease me." You cut him off with a bitter tone, picking up your laptop. "Yunho, leave me alone." You looked away from him, reserving yourself to the office room. He watched as the door shut close with a sickening thud, resonating with his heartbeat.

Three days crawled by, each tick of the clock echoing the growing distance between them. You were a whirlwind of activity, fueled by adrenaline and exhaustion. Your eyes, once bright with passion, were now shadowed with determination, bordering on desperation. Meals were quick, silent affairs, your focus solely on the screen illuminating you.

The frustration gnawed at him, but he knew pushing wouldn't help. This was your battle, and you had to fight it your way. Instead, he chose to show his support in quieter ways.

He stocked the fridge with your favorite snacks, left a fresh mug of tea outside your door, and even attempted to fold a few stray shirts (with predictably disastrous results).

He knew deep down that you weren't shutting him out, you were shutting yourself in. All he could do was be the ground beneath your feet, a constant presence even when you couldn't see him.

'i did it...i actually did it!' Three days. After 72 excruciatingly long hours, you finally did it. You finally pushed back from your desk, your eyes stinging from exhaustion but a flicker of triumph lighting them. The project was done.

But the elation was short-lived, choked by the hollowness that echoed within you. Guilt, suffocating and heavy, settled on your chest. The memory of your cold words, the slammed doors, the silent treatment you had inflicted on him all came rushing back. Shame burned your cheeks. In your single-minded pursuit of finishing the project, you had pushed away the very person who loved and supported you the most.

With trembling legs, you walked towards the living room, your voice thick with fear and regret. "Yunho?" You called out, voice barely a whisper. Silence. You tried again, louder this time, voice laced with desperation. Still nothing.

He usually came back from the company at this time except for...today.

Then he left...you?

Panic clawed at your throat at the thought. Tears streamed down your face, carving hot tracks on your cold cheeks. You sank to your knees, the weight of your actions crushing your spirit.

'He finally had enough of your selfishness and left you..' Your mind spun, conjuring scenarios, each bleaker than the last. You sobbed into your hands, not noticing the door opening.

Yunho stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him. The grocery shopping took longer than he thought. He hummed a low tune as he walked into the living room, freezing when he spotted you, on the floor.

Panic settled within him at the racking sobs that escaped you. Dropping the bags, he was instantly by your side, cradling you into his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Startled, you whirled around expecting the worst but instead, you found his concerned eyes.

Relief washed over you, a tidal wave threatening to drown you. But before you could speak, Yunho's face crumpled with worry, holding your face gently. "Honey, What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

His concern, so genuine and unwavering, broke the dam of your emotions. You collapsed into his arms, the sobs returning with renewed intensity. All the guilt, the fear, the shame poured out in a torrent of broken words. "I thought you left me..."

"Why would I leave you?" He asked, voice gently but you could see the confusion in his eyes.

''I thought you got sick of me and left." You sobbed, your voice barely a whisper. I'm so sorry for being so selfish and i pushed you away and I-"

Yunho cupped your face, cutting you off by pressing a kiss to your lips. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. His gaze was soft, filled with love, so much love.

"I was worried sick, Y/n. " he admitted. "But I understand. You were going through so much, and I…" He paused, searching for the right words. "I just wanted to be there for you, but I pushed too hard. I should have listened more."

He held you tighter, his heart clenching at the fear in your embrace. "You must've panicked because I was late."

He pulled back, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there. "I just went grocery shopping to stock up. I should've told you earlier, I'm sorry, love."

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit, but all you saw was love and concern. Shame washed over you, hot and prickly. How could you have doubted him like this?

"I'm so sorry." you whispered, voice trembling. "I was awful. I shut you out, and then…my stupid thoughts…"

Yunho shook his head, cradling you close to him, his voice soft. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault. But I'm never letting you go through that again."

Yunho pulled back, gently stroking your hair, his eyes soft as he gazed at you. "But you really thought I was going to leave you? Never, you're stuck with me forever." He said, voice gentle yet firm. "You know how obsessed i am with you."

A choked laugh escaped your lips. "You're impossible." you mumbled, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

Yunho grinned, holding you close. "Maybe. But I'm your impossible, and you're mine. That'll never change."

A weak smile adorned your face. "Promise?"you whispered, voice barely a breath.

"Promise!" He chuckled, pressing another kiss to your lips. "And that's a seal! Now..."

He swept you off your feet. "Let's get you something to eat. You haven't eaten properly these days."

As he carried you to the kitchen, the tension that had coiled within you began to unwind. The weight of your insecurities and fears vanishing entirely by the warmth of his presence and the unwavering certainty of his love.

#yunho x reader #yunho fluff #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez fanfic #jeong yunho #ateez imagines #hurt/comfort #yunho angst #ateez x reader #ateez oneshot

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solaris-amethyst · 1 month ago

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💫Did I even deserve you?💫

✨Pairing: Vampire!Seonghwa x dead!gn!reader ✨Prompt: Vampire Seonghwa is still miserable many decades after losing his soulmate. ✨Word Count: 3.4k ✨Genre: angst, vampire au, soulmate au 🌙Warnings: talks of death, reader is mentioned but not alive in this story, no use of y/n, mentions of Seonghwa not feeding for a long period of time, lost of a loved one, mentions of how he wishes he wasn't on this earth anymore, grief, ghosts, let me know if I missed any warnings! ☀️️Authors note: Got this idea into my head and wanted to explore writing angst in this setting. It is very different from what I usually write and I have worked hard on this one and I am quite pleased with the outcome.

The moon was high up in the sky, illuminating the forest in a light wash of grey. Highlighting the fog that is developing the forest and the castle making it look eerie and abandoned. Cobwebs dancing around windows and moss climbing up the bricks together with the roses that are climbing parts of the castle.

Both beautiful and dangerous.

It was said that sometimes you could see ghosts walking past the windows. Some even claimed to have seen a ghost in the rose garden. Walking around and calling out for their beloved but no response.

Young children were warned not to go there. It was dangerous and better to stay away from a place that would most likely fall in a few decades. The road to the castle was brittled with rocks, thick trees and bushes.

It was not a pleasant road.

Despite that there was a lone figure hiking their way up to the castle, dressed in a black robe. The figure was walking very slowly as if every step towards the castle was painful, making him hurt deeply. Despite that, he continued on with heavy footsteps to the one place he called home.

The owl up in the tree hooted familiarly once he was spotted and the howls of wolves could be heard throughout the forest. None of this bothered the man, for he knew that no one would dare to try and hurt him. A man of the night, a bloodthirsty bloodsucker as the humans once had called people like him.

Now he and his family were nothing more than a mere legend.

A myth.

Something humans wrote stories about without believing they actually existed. Sometimes the man wishes he no longer existed in this world.

It would be easier than walking around the world knowing your fated one was no longer walking this earth.

Unfortunately he was doomed to walk this cruel earth until the end of time as it was now.

The closer he got to his home the more dread and sorrow filled his entire being. He used to be filled with such happiness coming back here but now that was all gone.

The grand doors to the castle opened welcoming, sensing one of its masters returning home. The candles lighting up as he entered the hallway and walked down towards the place where he knew his brothers were residing.

They were expecting him after all. Like they do every year around this time when he gets back from his three month search around the world for anyone who could help him bring back his fated one to life.

And like every year he came back unsuccessful.

It was as if the world was taunting him. Taunting him for not being careful enough. For not appreciating what he had and for being arrogant thinking he could best fate and death because of who he was.

Seonghwa

Your voice.

He stopped what he was doing. Only the wind was blowing in from an opened window. The figure looked around carefully, not making much movements, for us mortals it would have looked like he was completely still.

He shook his head gently. It must have been the wind. It cannot have been your voice he heard.

You are no longer here he told himself as he continued his walk towards the room his brothers were in. He could not have heard your voice whisper his name in the wind. You were dead, no longer walking this earth and it felt like his heart was breaking into thousands of pieces every single day when he remembers that.

He remembers your smile, your laughter, your kindness. Everything that he once took for granted he now misses with such intensity that he does not know what to do with himself. It is like the joy he once had is now gone, sucked out of his body leaving behind a cold empty shell.

He starts walking again. He knows his brothers have heard him arrive and he knows that they are waiting for him. The closer he gets the more he can hear them. Shuffling around in the living room, living their normal lives.

Not stricken by grief.

The doors open once again welcoming, just like the front doors to one of its masters returning home and the noise dies down as he steps inside looking around at his family. They are all there. The first ones he notices are the two brunettes sitting together on the sofa. Yunho, Yeosang. Then he sees the them, San, Wooyoung. The latter holding a large book, open on some random page that they seemed to have been discussing before he arrived. He searched for the youngest of his brothers who he found standing next to the tall blond man near the table. Jongho. Mingi. He counted them in his head, he looked around, searching for the leader of his coven. He found him, standing near the big window gazing out into the garden. Hongjoong.

A part of him felt a little better after doing the count. For some reason he had worried they would not all be here when he came back despite the fact that they were always there. No doubt. They would always be here to welcome him home after his long journey.

The blond at the window turned around and when their eyes met he gave him a smile.

"Welcome home Seonghwa. We have missed you." He said taking a few short steps forward to greet him. Taking him into an embrace which he returned.

"I am glad to be back." Seonghwa replied even if it was only half the truth. He was glad to be back seeing his brothers but in reality he was not overly pleased being back without a solution to his suffering.

"How was your journey around the world? Did you find what you were searching for?" Hongjoong questioned even though Seonghwa suspected he already knew the answer to that just like the rest in the room listening in on their conversation.

"Unfortunately I have yet to find someone or something that could help me bring back my loved one." He told him, his shoulders slumping forward. He tried to put on a neutral face but Hongjoong was smart, he could see through his facade quicker than anyone else in their coven. His eyes had shown a glimt of understanding as he nodded carefully.

"You look awful, have you been feeding at all when you have journeyed???" Wooyoungs voice pierced through the air, clearly targeted at him and he could only shrug his shoulders opting not to look at the younger vampire.

"I do not feel hungry anymore Wooyoung." Was the only thing he could give as a response and if he had not already been dead the look Wooyoung sent him would have put him 5 feet under the ground as they spoke.

"You have to feed Seonghwa. It is not healthily to avoid feeding for as long as you have! Lat time I saw you feed was three months ago before you left!" Wooyoung stalked towards him "Are you telling me you have not feed in three months??"

They stared at each other for a long while. He knew all of them already knew the answer. It was the same every year and like every year before this year Wooyoung always grew furious when he figured that he had been neglecting his own health.

Again.

He could feel the energy around him tense up. The others were clearly not happy at all with this and yet despite that Seonghwa could not get himself to care about it. Had it been the other way around he would have been furious, furious at his brothers for ignoring their health and not eating but since it was him and not them he found himself often not caring. He would rather wallow in his grief, allowing the ugly feelings tormenting him to come to the surface in various ways.

"How is my beloved? Are they still safe in their casket?" He asked, voice cracking at the word beloved.

The very thought of you not being there or the possibility of something happening to you whilst he was gone was terrifying to him and he had to fight hard to stop the tears wanting to well up in his eyes.

Wooyoungs furious eyes soften instantly when he had asked the question and the other looked at him with sympathy. Yunho nodded confirming that you were still safe, still protected in the garden he had grown just for you.

"They are safe Seonghwa. We have made sure nothing could harm them whilst you were away." San said, giving him that kind smile only San could give someone when they needed it the most. Seonghwa felt like he could see the stars in his brothers eyes at that moment and it never failed to amaze him how much love and adoration could be seen in Sans eyes and how it was always something very real. It never faded or changed no matter how many decades had passed and right now he was thankful for it.

For the love and compassion his brothers were showing him.

"Why do you not sit down? Tell us about your journey? What has changed in the world since last time you went outside?" Hongjoong questioned whilst leading him over to the big chair, gently guiding him to eventually sit down in it. A blanket was placed over him, Mingi moving with utmost care to wrap it around him to keep him warm. He almost let words of protests out until he saw the worry in his eyes.

"Your beloved would not want you neglecting yourself like this." Was all he said with a low rumble before standing up and walking over to Jongho.

That stung.

His heart ached at the comment Mingi had said. Everyone had heard it. It was impossible for them not to hear him. They just pretended like nothing had been said but he knew they were silently agreeing with him. Agreeing with the statement that you, his beloved, who no longer walked this earth, would not want him to neglect himself and his health.

He wants to respond. To deny what Mingi has said. He has rationalized in his head that you would be okay with what he is doing so he can bring you back and the two of you can live together again like you did before.

The rest of his coven sits down all looking at him with curious eyes. Waiting for him to start telling them about his journey.

"It is all the same. Nothing has really changed in the outside world. We are still myths and legends. The only thing that has changed amongst humans is their greed. I would say they have become even greedier and distrusting than before."

"Humans have always been greedy and distrusting Seonghwa." Hongjoong cut him off before sending an apologetic look when he glared at his coven leader.

"I would say they are even more so now than before. I searched through every country on this bloody earth and I found no one. No one who could help me bring my beloved back. The sights I saw when wandering should have taken my breath away but all it did was make me angry. Furious that they were not next to me witnessing it all. At one point on a cliff looking out at the ocean I screamed. I cursed everything living and dead that day. I was so angry and I still am." Seonghwa spoke, his hands fiddling with the blanket as his eyes darken in anger.

His brothers look at each other in worry. They had hoped after many decade that Seonghwas fury and anger would dwindle down but it only seemed to grow with each year. Wooyoung looked at his older brother and friend in sorrow, he had been close to you, Seonghwas beloved, when you were still living and breathing. He understood the pain and anger Seonghwa was feeling but he also knew that you would not wish this upon anyone. Once having confided in him that you would want them to move forward to be happy, not to forget but to eventually come to cherish what had been rather than constantly living in the past thinking of what you could have done together if only things had gone differently.

"And I-" Seonghwa started but stopped once he heard it again.

Seonghwa.

He looked around. He swore he had heard your voice again. This time it could not have been the wind for no window was open.

"Hwa? What is wrong?" Yunhos voice brought him back from his thoughts as he turned to look at him.

"Y-you did not hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Nothing." He shakes his head "It was nothing."

"Perhaps you should go and rest?" Yeosang chimed in and the others agreed, nodding their heads.

Seonghwa looked at them before glancing around again, he was sure he heard you but now since none other than him seems to have heard you he wonders if some rest would actually help him.

So he nods and he can see the other's shoulders drop down in relaxation as if they had been expecting him to put up a fight and argue with them about resting.

"Perhaps I should... but I would like to go see them first." He feels stupid, like a child asking for permission to do something when he is the oldest in the coven. He could do whatever he wanted and if that was to go out into the rose garden and visit you then he could without permission.

He stands up before anyone can answer what he has said, he lays the blanket back on the chair before he strides towards another sets of doors which will lead him back to a corridor and down a few flight of stairs before he can enter the garden.

The doors open immediately for him and he makes a point of quietly thanking the castle for opening its doors for him. He remembers the first time he had gone out on his three month journey. When he had come back inconsolable wanting to leave that room to go see you the castle had refused. Refused to open its doors and windows for its master to go wherever he pleased.

Not until he had calmed down and only the silent tears were staining his cheeks had he been allowed out. It was after his brothers had held him close, allowing him to grieve in safety and then being given a cup of blood to drink by Wooyoung to help stabilize himself.

After that the castle had always listened to him. And now he was walking with a sense of purpose, he had to see you again. It always pains him to be away from you for three months when he spends almost every single day around you. Tending to the roses or cleaning the glass casket you lay inside whilst talking quietly to you about his days or how much he misses you.

As he walks out of the door and into the garden he stops in his tracks when he sees something or rather someone walking ahead of him.

You.

He cannot stop himself before he rushes forward and just as he is to grab your hand you vanish.

"No... No no no no no!" He mumbles to himself, now sprinting towards the rose garden, you cannot be gone.

You cannot.

Seonghwa almost trips over the steps leading up to where you lay and he stops at the casket breathing heavily gripping it tightly as he takes you in.

You are still there. Untouched. Just like the way you had been when he had left three months ago.

"My beloved." He whispers and just like that the tears are welling up again in his eyes.

Seonghwa. My love.

Seonghwa gasps as he hears your voice again turning around since he can hear your voice from behind him. He had not expected to actually see you. You are pale, standing there and he notes as he falls down on his knees in shock that you are slightly transparent.

"My beloved. My love." He says while the first tear fall down his pale cheek. His voice is growing thick with emotion and when you look at him with those sad eyes he cannot help himself from crawling up to you trying to take ahold of your hand in his only to realize he is unable to.

"No. Please no. Please." He whimpers looking up at you as the waterworks starts afresh.

You have to let me go.

"No! No no no no please I cannot do that. Please I am sorry I cannot live in a world without you. Please do not leave me." He pleads over and over again trying to take ahold of you but he keeps going through you. His eyes looks almost wild as he tries everything to be able to hold you.

You can see how his heart breaks over and over at not being able to hold you and you know you cannot be visible for much longer.

I love you.

When Seonghwa notices that you are disappearing from his view is when he goes into hysterics. He wails for you to come back to him, he screams in fear, anger and grief and it echos loudly throughout the entire forest. He roars in anger, smashing a statue before breaking down again near the casket. Sobbing over and over again that he is sorry, that he wishes you would come back to him. He asks for death to take him once and for all so he can reunite with you.

He grips his head as he cries, wails and screams in fury and sadness. It is like an explosion he cannot control. Seonghwa is unsure of how much time has passed but he finds that he does not care. All he cares about is that he saw you and he could not hold you one last time like he wished he could. He contemplates for a moment to destroy your casket just so he could hold you in his arms again but he physically cannot make that move.

He cannot destroy your last sleeping place. That would be like spitting on your entire existence if he did, so he finds himself hurting himself and the statues and rose bushes around himself in a fit of anger.

Up in the castle seven figures are looking out of the window from the room they still were in. Hearing Seonghwas wails of agony and grief pained them. It was as if someone was driving a spear into their non-beating heart over and over again.

"I wish I could take away all his pain and suffering. All this grief." Jongho mumbles before leaning close to Hongjoong, hiding his face in the crook of his leaders neck as said man brings an arm around him to bring comfort.

"I never want to find my soulmate... It will only bring even more anguish to him. He will constantly be reminded of his own soulmate who he no longer has. I do not want to make him go through that." San says, tears building up in his eyes.

"You cannot stop it from happening San. Do not deprive yourself of the happiness of finding your soulmate because Seonghwa lost his. That is not something he would want. He would want you to be happy. You know that San." Yunho said whilst giving the younger a sad smile, tears also in his eyes as Seonghwa continues to scream and wail out apologies, curse words and asking for you to come back to him.

"Grief... What is not grief if not love persevering. It is proof of how much he has loved and cherished his beloved. He was just too blind in the moment that he thought he could best death and now all these years later after death won he cannot handle it. Because he has yet to fully accept that they are gone. He has yet to accept that they are gone. It might take years until he gets over the stages of anger, denial, depression and guilt. We will be there to help him through it all. I was thinking of going with him next year so he will not be alone on his journey." Hongjoong says eyes sharply focused on the figure down below.

Eyes slightly widening when he sees something or someone behind his brother before it disappears. He could have sworn it looked like you but he must have been wrong. It was probably the tears in his eyes clouding his vision.

It could not have been you.

You were dead.

Gone.

Forever.

55 notes · View notes

kimmie2me · 16 days ago

Text

Greeny Ghost

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ghost!Midoriya Izuku x AFAB!Reader

.....

The alley stretched out longer than you’d thought, shadows swallowing the corners, broken only by dim streetlights. You’d walked down plenty of places like this before, but this one was unnervingly quiet. Your friends were supposed to be with you, daring you into the so-called “haunted” alley, but when you turned back, you saw—no one. Just empty space.

“Those jerks,” you muttered, kicking a stray pebble with an irritated huff. Just your luck to get abandoned in the middle of a ghost story.

That’s when you saw him: a faintly glowing figure at the far end of the alley, barely visible in the low light, his form flickering like static on an old TV. He wore a junior high uniform, like he was frozen in time, but it was his eyes, wide and curious, that had you rooted to the spot.

"What the hell." You blurted out, which caused the ghost to jump a bit.

“You… you can see me?” he asked, sounding more surprised than you felt.

“Guess so,” you replied warily, feeling your fists clench. You took a step back, but he stayed still, watching you with something close to wonder. “A-are you the… ghost? Y'know.. that one ghost?”

“No. I mean, yes, but… not like… like an evil ghost!” he said, frowning as he waved his hands in the air, trying to seem harmless. “I don’t hurt anyone or anything. I just… hang around.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? So why are there all those rumors about people going missing in this alley?”

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I have no idea! I’ve been here for years, and no one ever went missing because of me.” His arms crossed, and he gave you an indignant look, clearly offended. “I keep watch over the place. There’s a run-down building nearby, and sketchy people use it for… whatever sketchy people do. I’m just here observing them, making notes sometimes.”

“Uh-huh,” you said, unconvinced. “Sounds like something an evil ghost would say. Plus, why would anyone believe some… green-haired ghost taking notes?”

His frown deepened and he sighed. "Really? 'Green-haired ghost? I have a name and identity, you know? My name is Midoriya Izuku."

You shrugged, giving him a skeptical look. “Sure, whatever. and I'm giving you a new identity: ‘Greeny Ghost.’ Also, how am supposed to trust you? You're a ghost and the movies basically explain what you're supposed to do. Just don't haunt me or I'll pour holy water down your throat.”

He threw his hands up. “Why are you making this harder than it has to be? I’m just here because I, well, exist here.” His voice softened a bit, frustration giving way to a hint of sadness. “It’s not like I can go anywhere else.”

“Yeah, and every creepy spirit says that before they drag you into some other world and keep you locked up for eternity,” you replied with a smirk, folding your arms in a show of exaggerated defiance. “Sorry, but I’m not falling for the ‘poor trapped ghost’ act.”

Izuku groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as if your words were physically painful. “You remind me so much of Kacchan! In a bad way!”

You raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Uh-huh. And what, or who, the hell is ‘Kacchan’?”

Izuku looked at you, his face twisting into an expression halfway between exasperation and resignation. “Kacchan! My… a friend from junior high. Sort of. He’s… well, actually, no, he’s nothing like you.” Izuku seemed to rethink this, blinking in realization. “He’s a lot worse.”

“Wow. So you’re saying I’m less tolerable than some guy named Kacchan, who, by the sound of it, doesn’t sound like someone with a good rep?” you said with mock offense, pressing a hand to your chest. “Way to compliment a girl, Greeny-Ghost.”

He looked like he was about three seconds away from floating back through the alley wall, giving up on this ridiculous exchange.

You look at him a bit more closer, and you note he looked about your age, but… different. Ghostly, of course, but there was something else, something in his eyes that almost seemed… lonely. You didn’t know if you believed him, but something about him made you stay.

“What’re you even doing here?” you finally asked, taking a careful step forward. "Are you trapped here or something?"

“Besides not being evil?” he shot back, still salty. But when he saw you weren’t about to leave, he sighed, softening. “A villain got me… in this alley. I was just a kid, and I never really… left, I guess. People pass by now and then, but nobody usually sees me.” He shifted, looking suddenly uncertain. “Actually, you’re the first one to ever talk to me.”

You studied him, noticing the worn edges of his uniform, the tired, resigned look in his eyes. He seemed less scary and more… well, kind of tragic. Still, you weren’t about to let your guard down. “Yeah, well, maybe people hear the creepy noises you make,” you challenged. “Y'know it freaks them out.”

He blinked, clearly caught off guard. “Oh! You mean the notes? I’m trying to keep track of the activity around here,” he said defensively. “Besides, no one told me my note-taking was creepy.”

“Right,” you said, biting back a smirk. “So you’re a scholarly ghost, huh?”

A light blush appeared on his cheeks. “Look, I don’t get many hobbies! Ghosts don’t have a lot to do except observe.” He crossed his arms, giving you a quick glare before his expression softened again. “Anyway, I’m not the villain here. The creepy noises? That’s just me muttering to myself or something.”

Your arms relaxed a bit, the eerie feeling of the alley giving way to something else entirely. His earnestness was unexpected, and honestly, a little endearing.

“Alright, Greeny,” you relented, softening just a little. “Maybe you’re not as evil as they say.”

He sighed, looking relieved but still a little skeptical himself. “That’s… comforting, I guess.”

You shrugged, shoving your hands in your pockets. “Guess I’ll see you around.” You turned, giving him a small wave as you walked away, his faint figure watching you until you disappeared around the corner.

.....

Three days later, you found yourself back at the alley. You weren’t sure why—maybe it was the way he’d looked at you, or that stupid hopefulness in his voice. This time, you came with something: a small letter in your hand, the ink smudged slightly where you’d clutched it nervously.

You called out, half-expecting him not to show, but he appeared, looking pleasantly surprised.

“Back already?” he teased, a lopsided smile on his face. "

“Don’t get too excited,” you shot back, trying to keep your tone casual. You extended the letter. “It’s… from your mom. I found her, told her I met you… and I convinced her to write something for you. Don't ask why I did it. You looked so miserable here, it made me miserable.”

His mouth dropped open, his expression turning from surprise to something you couldn’t quite name. He took the letter in shaking hands, his gaze fixed on it like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“She… she actually remembered me?” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He looked up, tears pooling in his eyes. “Thank you… I can’t believe you’d go out of your way for… for me.”

You shrugged, feeling a little awkward under the weight of his gratitude. “Figured you could use a reminder that you’re not just… some alley ghost.”

He laughed a little through his tears, wiping his eyes. “I’m really not an evil ghost,” he said, voice soft and grateful.

“Yeah, well,” you replied, rolling your eyes with a small grin. “You’re still Greeny Ghost to me.”

Izuku blinked, visibly surprised by your small grin, and for a second he just stood there, processing it. Then, with an awkward but excited energy, he smiled back.

“D-do you want to, uh… stick around for a bit? I could, um, show you what I’ve written down,” he stammered, gesturing to a tattered notebook that materialized in his hands.

You chuckled. “Sure. Show me what a scholarly ghost looks like.”

He lit up, practically vibrating with excitement as he began flipping through his notes, talking fast as he pointed out every bit of information he’d gathered. You listened, half amused and half impressed by his careful, detailed observations. Each page was crammed with tiny, meticulous handwriting that covered everything from people he’d seen pass by to strange objects left in the alley over the years.

“I try to keep track of everything,” he explained earnestly. “It’s not like anyone really notices me, so I figured… maybe someday, if someone needed to know anything about this area, I’d have it all written down.”

“Sounds like you take your ghostly duties pretty seriously, huh?” you teased, glancing through his observations. "Well, I try to be a hero in my own way" He replied with a small smile. As you skimmed a particularly eerie note about some “sludge villain” incident that had occurred nearby, a thought hit you.

“Wait, was it… the sludge villain? Was that what got you here?” you asked, looking up to find his expression turn somber, yet resigned.

“Yeah,” he murmured, a shadow passing over his face. “It all happened so fast. I didn’t even see him coming. They said… All Might couldn’t get there in time.” He paused, then shrugged, as if he’d long made peace with it. “Guess it’s just the way it happened.”

You looked at him thoughtfully, and something in you softened. “You know… I think All Might was really sad about what happened to you.”

Izuku’s eyes went wide, almost panicked, like you’d just told him he’d accidentally disappointed a beloved friend. “S-sad? I didn’t want him to feel sad! I mean, All Might is my hero! He’s… he’s… I never wanted to make him feel like that. I was always cheering him on!”

You attempt to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, which failed as it phases right through. After a second try, you deem the gesture to be futile. “Hey, it’s okay. All Might probably knew that. And who knows? I bet he even came to your funeral.”

Izuku looked up, the panic giving way to a kind of hopeful wonder. “You… you think so?”

“Of course,” you said, grinning a bit. “And hey, maybe that ‘Kacchan’ guy you mentioned showed up too. You’re not as alone as you’d imagine, Greeny.”

He looked at you, eyes brimming with a strange mixture of gratitude and disbelief, as if no one had ever told him something like that before. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice soft and full of warmth. “For saying that. It… it actually means a lot.”

You shrugged it off, feeling a little flustered under his earnest gaze. “Yeah, well, can’t leave a ghost like you feeling down, right?”

Izuku chuckled, the sound light and unexpectedly comforting. “I guess not,” he agreed, eyes still shining with gratitude as he turned back to his notes, flipping to a fresh page. “You mind if I write down that you came back? I think… I think I’d like to remember it.” You nod.

"Yeah, sure you can."

From that moment on, he followed you like a quiet shadow, slipping into conversations, teasing you as much as you teased him, and reminding you of the friend you’d found in the most unexpected of places.

49 notes · View notes

hotdilfs11 · 1 year ago

Text

.　　. 　 ˚　. Have we got our lines crossed? - Don’t waste my time, Victor Lundberg

Part 2 !!!

✩ parings. (blk!reader x Rio)

✩ summary. Valarie was secretly a gang leader, and no one knew about it; however, she retired due to the FBI following her around for the past five years. Rio is a gang leader that her best friends work for; however, he has feelings for Valarie, but she doesn't really have them for Rio. Is she going to fall in love with him, or will they be at war?

✩ warnings. cursing, threats

.　　. 　 ˚　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　. 　 ˚　.

Beth's house-

A guy named Rio showed up at Beth's house, threatening all of us because of the money we took from the grocery store. I mean, I would too since we took over half a million, but it is what it is. We honestly didn’t know that he owned the grocery store or had ties with them, but I guess he did. Rio has a tattooed eagle on his neck and a buzz cut. He has warm, hickory eyes full of mystery, dominance, and a touch of familiarity that gave me comfort and excitement. He came in with three other guys. They all had a big build with tattoos and were wearing all black. Rio was also wearing black, but he was shorter than the other guys that were surrounding him; however, his body gave off a sense of security and self-confidence, making the three other guys look weak. His face contorted with rage, and his body was tensed up while he slowly paced throughout the kitchen as he made heavy eye contact with all four of us. His thick, husky voice echoed through the house as he made this short speech about getting his money back. I toned out half of it because I had made that speech a hundred times to people, but it sounded way better. We were all standing in the kitchen, surrounded by the guys he was with. Beth, Ruby, and Annie were all in tears, pleading for their lives, but I looked at him with a deceiving glare, not giving a crap about what he was saying. He was boring me, and I think he noticed that when he looked at me. He paused for a minute, and a heavy silence flooded the air. His eyebrows furrowed as he started walking slowly towards me. His jaw clenched up as his thick hazel eyes met mine in fury.

He wiped his mouth slowly as he got closer to me. "Oh, I’m sorry, am I boring you?” he said in a threatening voice. I looked up at him with an unbothered expression. "Nah, carry on, though,” I responded to him in a nonchalant tone. He started getting closer and closer to me, and my body started to tense up. I stood up straight as I kept eye contact with him, not giving him any satisfaction, but all he could do was give me a grim smirk. He chuckled. "So... you think this is funny, huh?"

I took a step towards him and looked up at him with a blissful smirk growing on my face. "Yeah, I actually do.” I paused. "Rio, right?"

I could see the anger on his face grow heavier by the minute when those words spilled out of my mouth. However, all he could do was laugh. He backed away from me, turning his back away from all four of us. “So you bitches think it's some kind of joke, huh?"

"No, we don't,” Beth said in a sharp yet anxious manner, looking at me with a scared look on her face.

I shrug my shoulders. “I think it’s fucking hilarious,” as the crack of my heels echoed through the house as I took my first step on the cold, hickory floor towards him, catching Rio's attention. He turned around in a swift motion as his cold, hard eyes caressed over my body. I stand closer to him as my chest brushes over his, feeling his body heat bounce off him and onto mine. Rio hovers over me and chuckles softly, breaking eye contact with me for a minute.

He looked back at me with a deceiving smirk on his face. “You got a lot of balls, ma; I like it.” He said it in a husky voice as he walked away from me and right out the door with everyone he brought

with him. I look over at him walking out with a smile painted on my face, amused by him even though it's a bad thing to feel like that but I did.

A months later:

Working with Rio has its ups and downs, but I’ve been through worse. My girls have been struggling with keeping up with the lies and guilt, especially my sister Ruby. All we're doing is spending fake money and turning it into real money, and I don’t know what's hard about that. They can’t keep up with any of this because of all the mistakes they're making, and I can't tell them because I don’t want them to know what I did in the past. Anyway, we almost got caught two times already, and it's kind of painful to watch, but I’m doing this for my girls and giving them what they need. It's not like I need the money I’m set for the rest of my life, but I know they don't, so I'd rather help them more than I ever did. They make their mistakes, and they’ll all move on from them, but this mistake was stupid as fuck even for them. And it's not even Ruby or Annie's fault; it's Beth's fault because she lets her emotions get the best of her. It’s been like that since I was a kid, and it’s not like the task was hard. It was just delivering trucks to a warehouse; however, Beth got pulled over, but she discovered that there was nothing in there, and the cop let her go. After that, she went to Rio, pissed him off, and threw the keys at his face. “What we had here is done; go home,” Rio said in a calm voice.

Now? I’m the one who has to get them out of it. We're in the kitchen as they tell me about the little plan they have for me.

“Please Val.” Ruby said it in an anxious voice. “You're the only one he has feelings for,” she announced quietly.

My eyes widened, and I looked up at Ruby, annoyed at what she just said. I lean against the counter, rolling my eyes. “The feels, Ruby, are you fucking kidding me?”

Annie sighs as her eyes furrow in worry. “I mean..." she says slowly as she anxiously plays with the sleeve of her shirt.

I turn my head towards her, letting out a soft chuckle. “So you guys all think that he..." They all slowly nodded their heads simultaneously, and I just looked at them in disbelief. I let out a frustrated sigh as they just all looked at me like lost puppies. “All you have to do is ask him to get us back in the loop; that's it." Beth announced softly, but all I could do was look at them with a dumbfounded look on my face. "Please,” Ruby begged. I looked into my sister's saddened eyes and sighed, "Fine, I’ll do it for god's sake, but if I get killed, I'm going to be pissed." They all had an innocent smile on their faces, and all I can do is roll my eyes at them.

Two days later:I stepped out of Beth's house, slamming the front door as I walked down her driveway towards a black Range Rover. I wore black jeans and a black fitted long-sleeve shirt. My black stilettos clacked against the rocky sidewalk as the illuminating car drew me closer to it, sending a bitter chill down my spine. A dash of excitement hit my body when I pulled the hasty black door handle, revealing Rio gazing over my body, looking up and down at me. I felt his strong pair of eyes still caressing my body after I got in the car

with him. I liked the feeling of him admiring me, but I’m here for business only. Rio lets out a soft chuckle, and being coy, he says, “You look so good today. Is this all for me, baby? Aww, you shouldn't have."

I roll my eyes and look at him with a judgmental glare. "Nah, I wore this for me, Rio. Now please drive.” I said as I turned my head away from him, looking out the window. I can still feel his eyes admiring me, but I didn’t pay any attention to him. He drove off after.

#wattpad #fanifc #fem reader #black writers #black fanfic writer #rio good girls #rio x reader #rio fanfic #manny montana #rio good girls fanfiction #manny montana fanfic #manny montana fic #creative writing #fiction #mafia fanfic #fanfic #enimes to lovers #dilfism #zoe kravitz

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realityinsuspense · 3 months ago

Text

one step closer | chapter 2: disrupted

--summary: "me and him? in one apartment? yeah, right. nothing is going to happen." ~~ two strangers living together. not talking and just going about each other’s lives. that was your plan. that’s how you’ve always done things, and you’ve gone far doing so. so when you have to suddenly move into a new apartment with your new roommate, you expect almost nothing. almost.

--pairing: mingi x fem!reader

--genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, a little angst, #mingi is cold and standoffish (? kinda), #eventual mutual pining

--a/n: so i hear tag lists are a thing! if you're interested in being in it please let me know :) and happy reading!

words: 2.8k

chapter 2: disrupted

You stare out blankly from your office window. The sky is clear, and it’s bright and sunny—practically perfect weather. But that doesn’t stop the storm of thoughts brewing inside of your mind.

It’s been almost three weeks since you moved in. Three weeks—that’s practically a month.

Your adjustment to work and the new office has been no problem. In fact, this location might have been even better than the last. You were also relieved to know that two of your coworker friends also transferred to the same building; this made the thought of meeting new people less daunting.

What was actually more daunting was the person you were living with instead.

The past three weeks at the apartment have been peaceful. Maybe even too peaceful. Peaceful to the point where you started to feel unsettled. And with every right so—because amongst that peacefulness, was an unnerving, slightly annoying amount of inconsistent, and undone chores.

Yes. Chores. That’s what roommates agree to do; it’s a shared place, thus becomes a shared responsibility to keep the spaces clean. Yet, there were some habits Mingi does—or doesn’t do—that started to annoy you ever so slightly. Undone dishes. Excessive disposables from the takeout he orders. Doesn’t take out the hair in the drain in the shower (gross, yes I know). Among other things.

At fist, you learned to ignore it. At first, it was fine. Maybe he’s forgotten to make that list he said he was going to make, you thought. And because you were the new girl, you wanted to be respectful—so you made sure the apartment was clean. It is technically his place, you said to yourself in order to justify doing so. You threw out any trash, put away dishes, swept the floor, and cleared out any clutter you found (including the hair). It was a habit of yours. You weren’t necessarily a neat freak, but a clear space meant a clear mind—and that was important to you.

But it’s been three weeks.

Three. With no ‘thank you’s’ either!

What am I? His maid?

It was the constant pile of dirty dishes, the always-almost-full trash bins, and the now small band of fruit flies hanging around the practically black bananas—that weren’t yours by the way. It was also all the expired food in the fridge that you had almost no space for your own groceries. But still you wouldn’t dare say a word. You’re not one to judge in cases like this, since it was technically his place after all. But still, it’s unfair as housemates right? It should be split up equally. You hate to admit it, but you were frustrated; maybe moving with this complete stranger was a mistake.

“Let’s just keep to ourselves, okay?”

Mingi’s words echoed in your ears. You thought that would be easy. And it was initially. You’re up at 6am, he’s up at 10. You’re asleep by 10pm and god knows what time he goes to sleep. But it works out perfectly for you both and your “no contact policy”: no one is fighting over the bathroom, each of you gets to eat your meals in the kitchen by yourselves, and there’s been an unspoken agreement to not use the living room at all for some reason (though that gigantic TV is tempting you). This routine settled in so quickly and easily, it became natural instinct. Even after three weeks, you and Mingi shared no more than a few glances or nods. It’s almost always dead quiet, with no exchange of conversations at all—just to yourselves in your own rooms. That’s what worked. That was easy.

But the mess back home is clearly setting you up. It’s bothering you. It’s unfair. It’s not what roommates do. And you most certainly dread the thought of having to say something—to be the first to disturb that peace.

You look down at the pile of papers on your desk and sigh. Gosh. I am definitely overthinking this.

“Hey y/n,” A familiar voice ripples through your endless thoughts. “You heading to lunch yet or what?”

You turn your head to see two suited figures standing at the edge of your cubicle: the people you needed most in that moment—your beloved work friends, San and Yeosang.

“I brought an extra dish to share today.” Yeosang adds with a small smile and holds up his tupperware.

You smile in return, grab your lunch bag from under your desk, and walk with them towards the cafeteria.

—

“Can I ask you guys something?” You say, breaking the silence. The silence being from the two hungry guys scarfing down their mounds of rice, chicken, and the cucumber salad Yeosang made. You couldn’t blame them though, you were starving too. The three of you are seated at a table next to the opened cafeteria windows, the fresh air wafting in. You are sat across your two closest friends from work, Choi San and Kang Yeosang.

San was bright, outgoing, hardworking—almost always seen with his classic dimpled smile.

Yeosang was gentle, cunning, intelligent—his sweet voice made to cheer you up almost instantly.

The duo had been friends long before—attending the same college—and now working here together as software engineers. Despite being in different departments from them, you instantly clicked after being hired. Both were admirable hard workers, each with their own special qualities. And both devastatingly handsome you might add.

In this moment, you feel so incredibly lucky. So lucky that you are the one that gets to bother these two outstanding individuals on your first world, almost pitiful problems.

“Let me guess,” A grin is almost forming on San’s face. “You’re gonna ask what I’ll be doing for my birthday?”

“Yes, what’s up?” Yeosang asks, completely ignoring San’s guess. You can’t help but smile.

“While I can’t wait for your birthday,” You begin, glancing between the both of them. “Do you guys…do you guys think it’s weird for roommates to not talk to each other?”

Yeosang and San stare at you blankly for a moment. San comically cocks his head to the side and looks off to the side, as if deeply contemplating this scenario.

“Your new roommate, huh?” San questions his gaze locking onto you.

You briefly mentioned to your beloved coworkers where your new apartment complex was. And briefly mentioned you were living with someone completely new. A total stranger. They were totally baffled, just like Hongjoong. But again, you assured them that you were fine. Up until this moment.

“No talking…like at all?” San presses. You shake your head.

“Well,” Yeosang exhales. “I personally think that’s weird.”

“Yeosang! You’re too blunt!” San gently nudges Yeosang’s shoulder. Yeosang chuckles in response. “But sadly…he’s right. Why? What’s wrong?”

You then go onto explain Mingi’s self-made apartment rules. The “keeping to yourself”, the nonexistent chores list, and the mess that’s constantly growing and slowly driving you mad. If you were going to live at this apartment for the next year or so, this was something you really didn’t want to put up with. Something you shouldn’t put up with.

After explaining your situation, both of them are silent again.

“Hmm…” San has his fist to his chin, once again in deep thought. Gosh, he’s so great at expressing hisself. “Is he hot?”

“Huh?!” You ask in shock, completely caught off guard. “What does that have to do anything?!”

“That’s a good point San,” Yeosang has a sly grin on his face, his voice as equally teasing. “Is that why you’re so scared to talk to him y/n?”

“A hot roommate is certainly a lucky problem to have.” San nods eagerly in agreement.

“I don’t know!” You want to avoid looking or even thinking of your own roommate in that way. Sure, you observed that Mingi is quite good looking—especially that first day of meeting him—and to go there is a rabbit hole of thoughts you refuse to explore. But in the end he’s a mystery to you; he’s nothing more than someone you live with. “I don’t think of him or look at him in that way. We are just supposed to be roommates, okay?”

“Okay, okay, we’re only half joking,” San smiles. “But if you guys are really supposed to be roommates then, shouldn’t you feel okay to tell him how you feel? It can’t be that serious.”

“Even for that dumb rule,” Yeosang says. He takes a glance at his watch. “It’s your apartment now too.”

You take a moment to let those words sink in. Even if they do tease you from time to time, the best friend duo always manages to give you solid, practical advice. For some reason, you want to laugh. You can’t help but realize how much you were overthinking. The benefits of an outside perspective, you think.

“Talk to him, okay?” San assures. You nod firmly. At that point, your guys’ lunch was over and it was time to head back. After packing and cleaning up, you guys are walking down the big hallway from the cafeteria and towards the elevators.

“OH! I almost forgot. y/n, July 19th. Save the date,” San says proudly as he dusts off his blazer. “Since I’m working on my actual birthday—gross—I decided to host a big party for another weekend instead.”

“That’s like two months away.” Yeosang murmurs. San nudges him again jokingly, and you laugh at the two’s behavior.

“That’s why I’m letting her know now. Save. the. date.” San breaths in happily. “Practically one. It’s almost June already.”

“Got it. Won’t forget.” You reply with a smile.

—

After a long day at work, the sun is finally at the edge of the horizon. Dusk.

You sigh heavily as you key open your apartment building and sluggishly walk towards the elevator doors. Despite the long day, you feel a pit of dread forming in your stomach—an unsettling knot of anxiety. You get in the elevator and press 5—the top floor.

You got this y/n.

It’s not so much Mingi is someone you don’t want to talk to. You hate to admit it, but Yeosang and San were partially right. You were honestly intimidated by him. And no, not by his good looks. But who he was. Based on the little interaction you two shared, Mingi was still a complete mystery to you. Even if you two do live together, you guys are still just strangers to one another. Who was he? Where did he work? Who was his old roommate? Why is he alone here? These were all questions that popped into your head from time to time.

He was direct, quiet, and always looked so serious. He truly was keeping to himself. And you were slightly scared to disrupt that peace you two shared. But it’s not like you’re looking to befriend him, nor he to you. Three weeks was a long time, and you couldn’t stand it any more. This was supposed to be your home.

You suddenly thought of Yeosang.

“It’s your apartment now too.”

You unlock your apartment door, and enter the space that’s been drilling your mind for the past 48 hours. As you walk in, your eyes scan the flaws in the kitchen and dining area. Once again, there was a pile of unwashed dishes, an overflowing trash bin, and the bowl of bananas with its flies still placed in the center of the dining table. On the kitchen counter, lay an opened plastic bag and soiled takeout boxes—assumingly left there since there was no more space in the trash bin.

You sigh. You weren’t going to clean up after him again. This is your space too.

After setting your work bag down—the adrenaline getting to you—you walk towards his bedroom door. From the other side, you could’ve sworn you heard laughter. But you don’t let it surprise you any moment further. You knock firmly.

The beat of silence, waiting for him to open the door. In that second, you wish you could take it back. But there’s no going back now. Say what you need to say y/n.

“Yes?” Mingi opens the door a crack and leans against the doorway. You almost want to turn away immediately. He’s wearing sweatpants and a black tank, revealing his arms and his upper physique. He’s got his glasses on, with a (what you assume to be) gaming headset resting around his neck on his defined collarbones. His expression remains unimpressed.

You try not to waste more time gazing at all the gauzy details and peering into what his room looks like—which looked quite dark anyway, by the way.

“Uh, can we talk?” You ask him calmly.

“About?” Mingi raises an eyebrow.

“The uh…the mess. Your mess in the kitchen.” You say slightly hesitant at first.

“Excuse me?” His eyes slightly widen, taken aback. The tone of his voice feels almost like a sting.

“Yes. I’m sorry, Mingi, but it’s been so untidy,” Your voice almost falters. You hate that he’s making you feel bad for saying how you feel. Or maybe you hate that you’re letting him make you feel bad. “And for the past-”

“What happened to just keeping to ourselves?” He cuts you off, his voice low and firm. “I can clean up after myself.”

You try to compose yourself, but that was just rude.

“Well, clearly you haven’t been!” You finally exclaim in frustration, gesturing towards the kitchen. “At first, I thought we were going to split the chores. So I waited. When there was a mess, I’d clean it, because I wanted to be respectful. But it’s been three weeks, and it seems like I’m the only one doing so. And I cannot live like this. I’m not some maid!”

Mingi’s expression appeared taken aback, probably shocked at your sudden outburst. This is the first full conversation you guys are having after a while. But in that moment, it felt so good to finally get all those thoughts off your chest. To say what you felt. It overpowered the fear of what he’d say next.

“I live here now too.” You add, this time more calmly.

Mingi sighs, rubbing his face in his hands and then runs them through his dark hair. You glance away briefly.

“Fine, I’m sorry. I just… got a lot going on and…” He begins to trail off. “Anyway, it won’t happen again.” You nod.

“I think I’m just so used to my old roommate doing all the cleaning.” Mingi exhales.

“Well that was totally unfair for them too.” You say.

“I’m sure he didn’t mind,” Mingi wavers, glancing down at you. “But yeah I guess it is…”

“Okay, so…” You look back at the dirty kitchen.

“I’ll clear it all out now,” He assures, removing the headset around his neck. He tosses it behind him (to where you assume his bed is). “And I’ll make the chores list for sure this time. Split. Evenly.”

You nod in satisfaction ready to turn on your heels, and run into your room. But you briefly add, “I think we also should just make it a habit to clean up after ourselves anyway.”

“Yes, fine.” Mingi says.

As he makes his way towards the kitchen, you finally head to your own room. Progress, you think. So he can actually listen to you! Now things can work out all over again. Living at this apartment will continue on as usual, this time cleaner and fairer. You smile at the thought—back to that normal. Back to that peace.

For now.

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