#I am NOT the person in our collective who's best with emotions and things

[fictionfolk-safehaven]

hi !! so ehh we have an alastor fictive ( hazbin hotel ) who's mentioned offhandedly a couple times that she's uncomfortable w being so source connected ?? as in, her source character is obviously Not Great but he has a lot of Canon mannerisms and sometimes thought processes. And she's really sweet, genuinely, but is also very much Alastor and has no intentions to become less source connected. But he js feels uncomfortable with what his source did and how alike she is too source ?? kinda like a " how different am I really from this Not Good Person " I guess .. and we wanna help her !! but really aren't sure how .. we have 2 other fictives from a commonly considered problematic source but both of them are barely anything like source, so we don't have much to go off ??

- 🕛🌫️

Post Author: Techno

CW's: None as far as I can tell.

Sorry this one took so long! We feel like there's a couple different ways to look at this, and so it took a bit of debating, but I think I'm gonna just say this.

For me, a fictive sourced from a violent person whose actions were debatable at best and sometimes just objectively cruel, I think the best thing I could've done was just acknowledge that I don't have to be different from my source. I don't owe that to anyone. The difference, the one that matters, is that I'm living a mundane life with people I love and I'm not hurting anyone anymore. I'm making the choice to live this life and do my best in it. I think that's the only difference that matters. I'm actively source connected; I get what can only be described as identity euphoria from being acknowledged as my source, being similar to my source including in ways that are seen as "bad." I'm an anger holder, particularly a holder of our anger around social justice. And my system acknowledges me as needed, and respected, and I fucking love that my role is to hold anger around our core values, even if my source is known for lashing out and causing utter destruction because of those ideals and that anger. What matters isn't the mannerisms, or that personality, or the feelings- it's what you do with it. I'm the exact same person as my source; I'm just doing something different with it. Choices are what make you you, or whatever, right? I'm making a different fuckin' choice.

And while I don't know your system, or your fictive (hello to her btw), I think that's the only advice we can give in this situation. It sounds like he's source connected and wants to stay that way, so separation is a no-go, so I think our advice is that it's not always as simple as "Fictive does not equal source." Sometimes we are our source, just in a different life, and doing different things. I'm not gonna be committing arson and destroying lives anytime soon, even though I'm still very much the person who did a lot of that in canon. What's that one screenshot everyone quotes? "In another life, I really would have enjoyed just doing laundry and taxes with you."

Yeah that. That's what I am. I'm just me, but doing laundry and taxes. She's allowed to be just Alastor, if she doesn't want to change himself, but doing laundry and taxes.

[evermore-fashion]

Did I make a mistake?

As you're all well aware of I said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr thinking my decision was final. However after reading all your wonderful messages I started to have doubts about my decision. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to pinpoint why I thought I had fallen out of love with high end fashion as well as Tumblr itself and the answer has been in front of my face for the best part of four years. A broken down friendship that has been plaguing my mental health… until recently and I'm going to finally explain why. I had a best friend for the best part of 15 years that went downhill both slowly and unexpectedly. We met on a forum back in 2005 and hit it off instantly. We then met up and went on various holidays, attended concerts together, did mini weekend breaks away and got to know each other's families really well. More importantly they were the only person in my life who knew about this blog and shared my love for high end fashion. Like most friendships though it had its ups and downs but no matter what we always gravitated back towards one another, until March 2020. A week or so before COVID and lockdown took hold of our lives they told me they had met someone. I was genuinely happy for them, except for the fact they had let slip that I was the last person to know. This broke my heart and their trust as they continued to let slip more details that indicated that I was being pushed out in favour of a new crowd (aka university friends who they had told me they disliked a few months beforehand) alongside their new partner. They stayed with their partner on and off throughout COVID and I was either pushed out the door or let back in depending on their relationship status. The relationship came to an end for good towards the end of 2022 and as always I was let back into their life with plans for 2023 being made. However I held back knowing the hurt it would cause me if things suddenly changed again. This was also my breaking point with them as I wanted to protect my heart from anymore hurt, and I believe this is where my love for creativity began to faulter. Whilst I found my love for gaming I felt this mental block around Evermore-Fashion and Evermore-Grimoire which I thought was down to my passions changing. I was clearly wrong. The friendship was up and down for another six months, until last summer. They had got back in contact with me despite the fact they had started acting cold towards me which manifested in a crap Christmas and Birthday. Yet I was still willing to hear their side of the story, but it never came as they ghosted me and I haven't spoken to them since which hasn't been fun to deal with both mentally and emotionally. Although I now fully believe this is what was killing my spirit and everything I had loved for so long. Anyway fast forward to January 2024, I've said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr when lo and behold I come across a social media post that changed everything. The ex friend had written something personal that contradicted everything they had told me (over their relationship break up) which not only angered me but it lit a fire under my butt to stop stewing in the "what ifs?" as well as holding on to a small bit of hope that they'd finally apologise for treating me like a piece of shit on the back of their shoe for so long. Not only that but I started to miss why I enjoyed being online in the first place. I checked out Vogue to see what was occurring during Paris Fashion Week and I yearned to share the Spring 2024 Couture collections on Tumblr (even though I still think it's still a toxic cesspit). Yes I could easily start this up on Wordpress or Instagram but let's face it, Tumblr is still the easiest place to start blogging creatively. So here I am. The fog surrounding my love for fashion has lifted alongside the mental and emotional baggage I've been holding on to for far too long. There's just one thing I'm still wondering though… do you guys forgive me (as I feel like I've messed you all around ) and is it okay to come back? 🥹

[starmosaics]

Mars in the 8th house pt. 1/3

I'm splitting this into parts because there's a lot to cover with this placement.

A person with an 8th house Mars doesn't just share anything with anybody, they'll test you and make sure that you can be trusted before sharing anything about themselves other than surface-leveled things. From the outside, an 8H Mars person seems distant, kept, shut off, and mysterious; they're an enigma. Many people feel intimidated just by being in the 8H Mars person's presence. People want to desperately figure this person out or pinpoint something about them, but just simply can't. The reason 8H Mars people are so guarded is because they most likely have faced life-altering pain or traumatic experiences at some point in their lives, commonly due to death or betrayal by other people. They can be incredibly hesitant or totally reluctant with trusting and opening up to others. They tend to keep people at arms length and might have paranoid thoughts about getting close to people because of their trust issues and reluctance to let down their guard. They are incredibly hypervigilant people and it takes a long time for them to express their vulnerabilities.

These people are naturally investigative and are great at researching and absorbing information. They're like sponges when it comes to obtaining details that reveals the truth. They love digging things up beyond the surface, revealing the truth, and bringing things to light. They want to understand things on a much deeper, intellectual level to reveal secrets and to solve cryptic and hidden messages. They either are great sources themselves or provide great sources for others and will always show up with the cold hard facts. I worked with a girl who had an 8H Mars and she did so much research on employee's rights to dig up what illegal things our management was getting away with. She obsessed over it for months and was fixated on "exposing" the institution we worked for. I am also friends with a guy who does scientific research at his school as a job who has an 8H Mars. I have an 8H Mars and am deeply invested in astrology.

These people are wonderful friends, family members and partners, and will always be the first responder when someone they care about is in a dire situation. They're also the best person to be with when in a dangerous or life-threatening situation. These are the types of people to remain calm and collected to ensure that whatever is at hand is taken care of. During an emergency, they're the ones to brainstorm and come up with a plan to execute; they're incredible strategists. This is most likely due to having dealt with a lot of dangerous or traumatic events in their lives which caused them to be able to respond to other people's situations with a much more steadfast approach.

Most of the 8H Mars people I've met had a weird relationship with their sexuality in their teenage/young adult years and lost their virginity at a later age compared to their peers. People may objectify 8H Mars folks or perceive them to be more sexual than they are (ex. being told that the 8H Mars person looks like they have a lot of experience with sex even if they don't) because these people commonly ooze sex appeal. Something about them makes people feel incredibly drawn and magnetized to them. I knew someone with an 8H Mars who was a stripper and did sex work. She also had a sugar daddy which I would associate to be an 8H topic (shared/gained resources from another, Mars covering sex). I too have considered doing sex work for quite a while now. 8H mars people may like more rougher and primal sex such as BDSM. The bedroom is where the more darker parts of themselves are revealed. They may also enjoy exploring different kinds of kinks rather than having plain or vanilla sex. Despite people thinking 8H Mars folks are sexually progressive all the way, these people actually need to have an emotional/spiritual connection to those they engage sexually with, otherwise they will feel like something is missing during sex and that the void they're seeking to be filled cannot be reached. Unfortunately, I have also known many 8H Mars people who have faced a form of sexual victimization.

In the next 2 parts, we'll cover certain transformations these people may undergo in their lives, mental health and psychology, life and death situations, struggles within intimate relationships, and "taboo" topics these people might enjoy. If you have an 8H Mars let me know if this resonates :))

[enamouredfae]

little astro observations i've made based on my little chart collection and experience 🎀

honestly i've observed this only in myself but you have a natural pull to people who's sun is the same sign as your 5th house, mine is in pisces and my bf, my best friend and my cat are all pisces, not to mention that 90% of my crushes have been pisces as well.

there is something about pisces and bunnies, they will either love bunnies (have tattoos of them, make art about them, be their favourite animal), own or have owned a bunny or they look like one, (my bf is all of the above).

in synastry a north node over a person's mars may indicate the north node person taking the mars person's virginity.

in synastry a person's moon in your 9th house may indicate they understand/feel/empathize with emotions in a different way from you due to where they come from and how they were culturally socialized, i have this with my bf and he comes from a north american individualist country where your emotions are your responsibility and other's are theirs and i come from a post communist country where you are responsible for everyone's emotions, and ppl live for other people.

in vedic astrology i am a hasta moon, claire nakti made a video on hasta nakshatra and describes hasta natives as "fairy pretty" and i have a pair of dragonfly fairy wings tattooed on my back, plus ive been told (before my tattoo) that i give off fairy vibes.

saturn ruled 3rd house makes you have to spend a lot of time in public transportation, for example you might live far from where you need to go, for me it used to take me 1 hour at least to get to some places, sometimes i'd have to wait an hour just to then spend on hour on the bus. just overall imposes patience for transportation

a lot of astro observation posts say that an aquarius 4th house makes you feel like u dont belong in your family or that you're the black sheep of the family, but i dont find that accurate at all, i feel like it makes the native the one to challenge family values, they may be the one to make their family change for humanitarian reasons

idk if this is a real technique already used by astrologers but i have a wholesign MC theory. in wholesign the midheaven can fall in the 9th/10th or 11th house. my theory is that wherever it falls is the way you get ahead in life, the way through which u become publicly known or get your career. If it falls in the 9th your career is owed to ur studies/travel, 10th your hard work/experience/reputation, 11th your connections/social media/friends.

i think i have the most literal astrological placements being passed down from your parents example. obviously placements dont always get passed down, my sister has none of their placements, but perhaps being the first child may have contributed to this since the first child is when parents still have their personality not yet influenced by parenthood. so my moon and my sun, which we know symbolize the parents amongst other things, are at the same degree and they sextile eachother exactly, which I think is an indicator that my parents are very harmonious together; they are still together and in love even now. furthermore, my moon and sun are the same signs of my parents' stelliums, i have a libra moon and my mom has a libra stellium, and my sun is in leo and my dad has a leo stellium.

sibling's ceres in your first is feeling like a parent to them, i constantly tell my sister she's my daughter, we even have an inside joke that i gave birth to her at 5, and my ceres is in her fourth, the house of motherhood so she definitely sees me as a parental figure.

me and my bf have eachother's jupiter in our 7th houses, besides being in a serious committed relationship, we want to start a business together. so i feel this is a great indicator for great partnership in both regards.

i feel like this is also a technique but i haven't really heard much about it, generational planets affect us through societal conditions/problems whereas personal planets affect us through personal problems. for example: let's go with two malefics, i have pluto in the first house which i feel would be very different from having let's say mars in the first house. the first house is amongst many things our appearance which i am insecure about. i have never in my life been told i am ugly, i am actually constantly told i am beautiful, and yet it does not click. it isn't through personal experiences that i have problems with my appearance but through consumption of society ideals. this is of course an oversimplification but you get what i mean.

chiron retrograde in natal changes our perception on trauma. me and my bf have the same chiron, his is retrograde while mine is not. he constantly says he is not traumatized, whereas i can tell i am. he 100% has traumas, the thing is that it's like he's left them behind? he just says it happened a long time ago so it's done. my observation is that retrogrades in your natal may make u leave things in the past or have a "it happened a long time ago it doesn't matter" attitude towards trauma. the thing is he acts like a non-traumatized person which is crazy to me.

i have a skin condition called dermatographia, also overall very dry itchy acne prone skin, i also have scars. here are a few placements that i have that i feel may be an indicator for skin conditions: mars ruled first house (traditional rulership) mars is inflamation and scarring, saturn in seventh saturn is dry and some people consider that libra(7th house) rules the skin, saturn opposite ascendant, saturn square venus i see venus as clear skin due to its aesthetical perfection.

saturn in 1st, especially conjunct ascendant indicates identity issues. borrowing elements of identity from people you admire, not feeling like you identify with the gender assigned at birth, not identifying with your birth name, etc.

having a libra 12th house can indicate traumatic female friendship. the 12th house is the house of hidden enemies, so you perceive these people as your friends, sometimes even best friends, so when they betray you it is very jarring and traumatic. having female friends that are jealous of you, female friends that pretend to like you, female friends that talk shit about you and even sometimes lie about u, friends that purposefully hide information from you, that want what you have, sometimes sabotaging what you have or trying to make u lose the thing they want, etc. this is a very difficult placement, because you love these people so much that you would've given up things, changed things or shared things with them if only they were honest with you. in the best of cases the friendship is real and full of love but you grow apart, and this is also painful because you can't control it.

venus square ascendant is people telling you they love you and you not believing them. just overall hardships around love and seeing yourself as loveable. double points when it also squares saturn making u think that if u are loved it's hard work or that people had to convince themselves to, that you're hard to love.

people with venus conjunct mars in first are stunning and have an androgynous vibe to them. sometimes this is visual, strong muscular body with graceful posture, but it can reflect in their personality, just strength imbued with vulnerability, people that surprise you, that are balanced.

taurus 6th house can indicate finding romantic partners in the workplace.

having a stellium in the 4th and no planets in the 10th, can indicate a strong connection to your mom and a disconnect from your dad, especially when the sun is in the opposite sign of your tenth house(in your 4th) feeling like your dad is not the way he should be.

🎀

please let me know what you think, im very curious how they hold up in other people's charts, critiques are welcome and invited.

[ateez-himari]

I AM STILL; INK-BOND

The documentary's rawness leads to an interesting discovery concerning the maknaes of K-Pop groups BTS & ATEEZ

December 5, 2024 (6:01PM)

Disney Plus recently released Jungkook's documentary 'I AM STILL', which follows the vocalist through the making of 'Golden' as well as his journey to becoming a soloist with international reach. Numerous clips have been going viral on social media platforms and most of them feature the producing genius behind his new voice, who just so happens to be his best friend, ATEEZ's maknae - Himari.

"This is my partner in crime, my talented producer, my best friend and our angel voiced vocalist...Himari." Jungkook introduced when she visited him on the set of '3D'. "We've been with each other for over 11 long years."

Most instances are simply them working long hours alongside one another, walking about cities during rare moments of free time or even Jungkook accompanying the vocalist to the airport, as Korea had heavy schedules waiting for her. However, it was not the sweet maknaes bonding nor being emotional that caught the most traction but rather them enjoying some short inactivity.

While the artists relaxed in the hotel pool wearing bathing suits more revealing than they would usually be allowed on camera, the young woman's high hairstyle allowed netizens to notice a tattoo at the back of her neck - running along to the near middle of her spine. Chinese characters forming the words 'until death' are written vertically, with a black traditional dragon in the midst of them, and while searching through the man's collection it was also found that he had an almost exact copy, with the only difference being that his own is white.

The widely agreed upon speculation is that the colors represent the other person through the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang energy - which are opposites that balance one another - as Himari aligns more with Yin whilst Jungkook aligns with Yang, which are opposite to what they have inked onto their bodies. The mythical creature represents many things but due to the possibility of them having a depiction of the other, it likely stands for protection in this case - to symbolize that they will watch over their counterpart 'until death'. It is also possible that it follows a Japanese legend stating that if a koi fish successfully climbs a waterfall, it would be rewarded by the gods through bring turned into a powerful dragon - which could have been used to show their strength of character and acknowledge the hardships that they have both been through.

The ink does not seem to hold the vibrancy of a recent tattoo which means it has likely been a few years since its original creation and although very few have come to doubt the reality of their incredibly close relationship, it likely erased any semblance of suspicion. We can only hope to see more of these two friends in the coming months.

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[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

[theyoungeragrippina]

🫶🏻 15 gentlebeard/blackbonnet fic recs

(17 if you squint)

hey legends, in this bittersweet period where a lot of a us are feeling gutted but simultaneously, rebelliously hopeful, i've emerged from my reading den to showcase to you all some of the brilliant talent we have in this fandom! these fics are some of the best of the best, and i hope you love them just as much as i do! <3

they are all complete, do not feature any ongoing steddyhands/edizzy/stizzy, and are above 20k words.

peruse part 1, part 2, and part 3 at your leisure if you want to compare our tastes/devour more fine literature, or check out my masterlist as an ao3 collection.

adrift between the dreaming seas by @dandy-pirate-time

49k, mature, locked

stede lives a cursed life on a moving island, until the monotony of his days is suddenly interrupted by the fearsome kraken.

this was such a fascinating & incredible idea! i love how it manipulates aspects of the original story and transforms them into parts of the cursed island <3 sweet & unique & magical. i want to hug poor stede.

Five Birthdays and a Funeral by @bizarrelittlemew

58k, explicit

"When Ed and Stede's friend groups merge, they meet at a birthday party, and Stede's life is turned upside-down. As they collide again and again, he not only has to figure out what Ed means to him, but what he means to himself."

stede gets to be oblivious and a bit of a silly goose as a treat. also: treasure hunts, lucius is the best, ed has a cat whom i would die for, such a sweet & heartfelt fic. you will be so unbelievably fond of this version of every character.

The Ghost of Frigate Point Lighthouse by @piratecaptainscaptainpirates

53k, explicit

"When history professor Stede Bonnet goes to investigate rumors of a ghost haunting the local lighthouse, he's thrust into a mystery centered around the ghost of one of the most famous pirates of all time."

was SO eager to read this and it did not disappoint!! it has everything - fun, magic, mystery, tired TA lucius, and a lil bit of seduction. good enough that i am worried the author may actually just be a sea witch recollecting events he personally witnessed.

Haunted by @thepirateroo

60k, explicit

"The Kraken is a famous spiritualist, working the music halls of 1920s London to help families communicate with their dead. But Stede Bonnet knows that underneath the fame and illustrious title, Edward Teach works as a ghost hunter, debunking the spirits he makes his living off."

this is, genuinely, in the top 5 fanfics i have read for any fandom EVER. i wouldn't bat an eyelid if i read this exact work as a published novel in a bookstore. the mystery is so good and had me guessing and re-theorising constantly, the characterisation is brilliant, and the emotions are perfect. i cried, i laughed, i felt sick with worry for the characters, and i couldn't stop reading until i was done.

haunt me, then by @hyruling

28k, explicit

"He releases the ropes slowly, barely registering the burn as they slip through his fingers. Then, fallible as Orpheus, turns to meet his ghost."

post s1 fixit fics ily. everyone needs some therapy. really VERY well written and a joy to read.

Homeward Bound by mari_who

51k, explicit

"In the long-ago year 2000, bouncy blonde boy-band member Stede Bonnet is 17-year-old Edward Teach's gay awakening. Decades later, Ed hears a voice he could never forget."

i said 'ohhh no poor ed/stede' so many times while reading this. a lovely exploration of emotion and human connection, and finding yourself when everyone else has always defined who you are on your behalf.

I just need some air by @cuddlytogas

26k, teen

"Stede Bonnet's been having panic attacks for almost as long as he can remember, suffocated by pressure and expectation... When [he] finally takes his life back — divorces Mary, moves to Melbourne, starts his own event management business — things get better, but he's still no good at parties. He still needs some air, even at the very events he's brought to fruition. Meanwhile, Edward Teach, renowned chef and owner of Blackbeard's Catering, is wondering why the newest bigwig in events still hasn't hired him."

zoomed through this faster than lightning mcqueen. such a lovely writing of stede, ed and the whole crew - it feels like there's depth in every character, even background ocs.

also fantastic australia rep (i was jumpscared by mention of the cotton on group) AND i've been to the bar the final scene takes place at!!!! most exciting reading experience of my life.

i'll be your treasure by @monksofthescrew

48k, mature

"Wasn't the Dread Pirate Blackbeard rumored to have a hoard hidden somewhere near Essex? It's a metal detecting AU. They're detectorists. They fall in love."

i LOVE this fic so much it is just,,,, so sweet. stede does self-discovery and is seduced. ed is a bit of a goose and i'm obsessed with him. doug and mary are lovely. alma is so cool and i love her.

+ the sequel! drift o'er the rolling hills, swim through the briny sea (made me cry. btw. doug keeps being the best.)

The Kraken's Sacrifice by @trinityofone

22k, explicit

"Every year, a person is chosen—supposedly at random—to be sacrificed to the Kraken, to quell the sea's worst storms and to stop the taking of ships... Stede discovers that there is much more to the creature than he was led to believe—and that they have a deeper connection than he could have ever dreamed."

i LOVED this okay. it was funny and sweet and gave an interesting spin to the ed-is-the-kraken genre. get both of these boys some self-esteem asap. also comes with art by @avatoh!!!!!

lovers in a dangerous time by @veeagainsttheday

52k, explicit

pacific rim au - "Edward Teach becomes a jaeger pilot, first with Izzy Hands and later with Stede Bonnet. It’s not easy trying to save the world and falling in love with your drift partner…"

made me feel every emotion under the sun, including foaming at the mouth jealous that i don't have a drift partner. absolutely, masterfully written. i've popped this link first since its the fic that focuses on stede & ed, but it was written as a prequel for:

+ catagory five: a shatterdome romance by @owlinaminor (27k, mature), which focuses predominantly on jim & oluwande, and which i also massively recommend reading (first). it's told through lucius' words and made up of journalistic notes and transcriptions, and its really terribly clever. i knew nothing about pacific rim before this, and now i'm really very invested. if i wrote something this fantastic (& creative & wildly unique) i would never shut up about it.

More of the Gravy Basket than of the Grave by @veeagainsttheday

36k, explicit

"Ed and Stede’s ‘unorthodox friendship’ ended four months ago when Stede left Ed without a word after Ed asked him to run away to a parallel universe with him. They’re thrown back together when they’re summoned to perform a supernatural exorcism at the Hillside Hotel during a blizzard."

this has got to be one of the coolest and most creative fics i have ever had the pleasure of reading. genuinely kept me guessing and so so intrigued, PLUS the most sweet stede & ed dynamic!!!

Nothing Missing in My Life by @semisweetshadow

63k, explicit, locked

"Hollywood action star Ed Teach is bored with his celebrity life. Everything changes when he meets Stede, a sweet extra working on the set of his latest film shoot. Stede doesn't know who Ed really is and treats him like a real person and Ed can't help wanting to keep him."

ed plays an action hero called jeff the accountant, and if that's not immediately the greatest synopsis ever idk how else to win you over. hilarious, clever, & so heartfelt. i gasped and said 'oh no' with a hand over my heart nearly as many times as i laughed out loud.

not pickles by smallestchurch

84k, explicit

"Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind."

i actually feel a bit ill when i think about this fic because i love it so overwhelmingly. there's family, and healing, and good food and friends, and ed teach and louis bonnet become the dynamic duo they always had the potential to be.

Our Fangs Mean Death by @flawedamythyst

87k, teen, locked

"Master Vampire Blackbeard's afterlife is enlivened by the arrival of a new coven in town, lead by the self-styled Gentleman Vampire. Now here's a Master who doesn't mind shaking things up by wearing clothes 300 years out of date, buying a massive gothic mansion for a lair, and leading the most eclectic coven Blackbeard has ever seen."

ridiculously fun. this is the vampire novel/fic i didn't know i needed and i loved every silly second. stede really gets to fulfil his dad-ness. i'm furious i can't join the gentleman vampires coven irl, will just need to embrace the gothic vampire aesthetic in my own life.

Wayfaring by @justkeeptrekkin

35k, explicit

"The downside to being stuck on a desert island is that Stede's not awfully good at adapting. The upside is that he and Ed can finally have some peace and quiet– that is, if Ed ever wakes up from the gunshot wound in his stomach."

the sweetest desert island fic, feat. the cutest piglet in the world, a little bit of pining, a helpful skeleton named dusty, and some of the best & most accurately written stede and ed content ever (imo).

[faeries-child]

One day I will choose you

Pairing: Azriel x reader (kinda)

Summary: Azriel had loved you for decades and he promised that he would be there for you when you finally decided to let go of our former lover.

Warnings: Mature content, nudity, implied sexual actions, angst, break up.

NOTICE: I HAVE NOT proofread this text and keep in mind that I write these at 3 am. Rip my sleep. Also there is message in the end!

Often you hoped that everything would have gone differently. Getting up from the bed and tangled sheets. You looked at the man laying there, his eyes closed and still sleeping. He was still naked from last night, faint scrapes of your nails on his back. You had promised this was the last time. To him and to yourself. 

He had hurt you so many times. You weren’t even sure why you had stayed. But now, looking at him, you didn’t see the person you once loved, you saw someone unrecognizable, lunatic with a former lover's face. 

Getting dressed with the clothes from yesterday that were still laying on the floor. You walked through the apartment promising that it would be the last time you ever did. You opened the door and stepped out of it to the streets of Velaris. 

Panic was beginning to cloud your mind. Even though you had problems, he was still the person who knew you, knew how weak and scared you could be, but he also knew how you could be strong. And would all you had given him, all you had sacrificed for him now be in vain? Were you wrong to leave him there all alone, by himself? You had left, mind clouded by fear, grief and rage. Unbearable rage towards yourself for staying, and for him. Towards him for all that he had done to you. 

Without noticing you had begun to run. Running towards the unknown, as long as it took you farther from that apartment and that bed. 

 You weren’t looking before you when you collided with someone. You were about to fall backwards when they caught you in their arms. 

“Y/n?” That deep voice that was alway calm, collected, almost seemed to carry a hint of concern. You would recognize that voice anywhere, most of the time its tone sounding like the speaker didn’t care about anything or anyone, but once you had listened to that sound for almost two hundred years, you knew that behind that voice and cold eyes was a man that would kill or be killed for the people he loved. 

“Are you okay?” 

You tried to clear your head, trying to make your eyes see through the tears that were veiling them. You looked at the man before you. He stared at you intently, you couldn’t decipher what emotion they were portraying. They just stared at you, ready to bear anything you would show him, give him. 

“Az-Azriel” was the only thing you were able to say. 

“What happened?” 

You weren’t able to answer, only pressing yourself to him. You friend of many years, who had been with you through troubles untold. You were shaking, crying to his chest. 

“What do you want me to do?” he asked with a gentle voice, speaking to your ear so only you could hear. 

“Take me away. Convince me not to go back. Convince me that this is for the best”

So he did. He transferred you somewhere else using his shadows. You weren’t sure where you were, but the space felt open. You could breathe better in the open air. Place where he had taken was also quiet, making you realize that you were now alone with him, there weren’t people around you anymore, giving you a chance to relax your body and fully lean onto him. 

“What will I do Azriel? This has to end, I cannot keep this up anymore.” You cried into him. 

Azriel was quiet for a moment, thinking about his answer. What had helped him when he had to give up on people, what had he told himself he finally gave up on Mor?

“Tell me so you can hear it too, why wouldn’t it work, what does your mind truly say about it?”

You took a deep breath, choosing to go with his idea. “My sanity tells me that I couldn’t have healed him. I couldn’t have pieced him back together even if I had given everything in myself.” 

Tears were running down your face still, but breathing was finally easy. You looked into his eyes, holding onto his shoulders still. They were the rock that you clung to when you were about to drown. 

“Good” He said, running those scarred hands reassuringly along your arms. “Go on, why is this for the best?”

He pressed his forehead to yours, still looking at your eyes. You swallowed, collecting your thoughts. “It is for the best for maybe at the end of everything, he wouldn’t even have been worth it.”

He held you there for what seemed like hours. Holding you close and making sure you were safe. In the end you fell asleep there, still resting fully on him. 

Little time skip…

Azriel pov: 

Only thing that kept Azriel from going to that apartment and killing the man that had hurt you, was you on his bed, sleeping peacefully. He was leaning against the railing of the balcony on the mountain keep that was located in the middle of Illyrian mountains. He knew that you could be here in peace. 

He loved you. Had loved from the moment you had shown up in front of him drunk and giggling at the spirits flying through the sky on starfall almost two hundred years ago. You tried to see good in everyone. Not once did you judge him by his past or reputation. 

But for years he could only look from afar when you loved another, when your heart was broken by another time and time again. He was there for you, but he knew it wasn’t his place to say what you should do with your life. It was your decision. 

“Azriel?”

He turned to look at you. You had woken up, now sitting at his bed, blanket still wrapped around you. Your hair was messy, eyes puffy from crying. 

 “Yes?” 

“Thank you”

He showed you a small smile. Turning his head towards the scenery that the balcony opened up to. Sun setting behind the mountains, brightest of the stars already visible. 

You rose from the bed and walked up to him. 

Your head felt clear for the first time in a long while. You put your hand over his on the railing. “I know that I will come back to think about him every now and then, but I have decided that I won’t waste my worries on him. I want to be able to walk by him and not turn to look at him. I have decided that I won’t miss him anymore.” 

You moved your stare from the scenery to him. God he was beautiful. You had always known that he was beautiful, but for the first time you could look at him freely and not feel shame for what you were feeling. 

He looked at you too. Azriel tightened his lips into a straight line before saying on a quiet voice: 

“I want you to know that I will always be beside you. That I will be here, and I want to be here when maybe someday you are ready to open your heart once again.”

Little did he know that he already had a place in your heart and that the day you would finally choose him was closer than he dared to hope.

Message from me: Okay I am so sorry I haven't updated in a long time. Lets be clear, life got in my way. It's been so busy and I haven't had any time to even consider writing. There is still No place for love part 2 coming when I can finish it. And there is probably Carlisle Cullen fic coming next ;)

[cowboyjen68]

Hi, I want to advise you, Miss Jen . I am a 19-year-old girl, and I am a lesbian, but unfortunately, my family does not accept this idea and do not like gay people, and I have not yet told them this. I don't know what to do. I want to tell them, but at the same time, I'm afraid of their reaction. The problem is that I don't have close friends to tell this to.

So can you please give me some advice?

Because I have been following you for a while, and you make me feel comfortable when you share your stories and advice here or on TikTok. I really love you and wish you all the best 💕💕

I had a few moments on Monday so i did a quick Tiktok addressing your question.

My advice it to not tell them. Your first priority is to stay safe and maintain stability (housing, healthcare, education, etc. You don't owe them that part of your life.

I completely understand the desire to share such an important things with our parents and family. We love them and we want them to know all about things that are important to us and that includes such a core part of us, our sexual orientation. You are not any less of a lesbian if you keep that part of yourself private from them.

Put your focus on a job, a driver's license, a bank account, collection documents like your social security card and birth certificate and finishing your education. Once you are on your own and are paying for housing, health insurance and other necessary things then you can make the decision to tell them. Even once you are on your own, you do not have to. If you fear loosing them there is no shame in not coming out to them, now or ever.

You will eventually meet friends at jobs or school who will understand you and love you for all your core values and you can be yourself. Or choose what to share and what not to share. You are allowed the boundaries of some things being private with some people.

Even back in my youth the line of "Silence equals Death" was used by some to force others to come out when they were not ready or not in a safe place to do so. To be clear, that is not what it meant.

To this day I see others encouraging younger people to be "out and proud " because "we" will support you. The fact is, strangers on the internet are not able to take on the truly hard stuff of parenting that goes well beyond emotional support. It entails being responsible for a young person's mental. physical and monetary well being and it does not end at early adulthood.

Stay in the closet at home, seek friendships at work or in school that are fulfilling and trustworthy. You are not being shameful to stay safe in your home.

I am glad you found me on social media. And remember, just because I am out and loud now does not mean I always was. Taking our time to get to a good and safe place to be out takes time and courage.

[jalicefanficblog]

saw on ya main blog you wrote for carmen sandiego. a dr. saira bellum x child reader scene please with mind experiments?

I am full into Carmen Sandiego Mood lately and love the Series and its complex Characters. So i wrote a little Oneshot about our beloved Dr. Bellum and a femal child reder (platonic of course!)

Little Lucky Charm

You were one of the few children on Vile Island.

Not created because someone found you, but rather brought into this world through a genetic experiment combined with dark science and the brain experiments of Dr. Saira Bellum.

A creation that should not have existed from an ethical point of view. But when you are born on Vile Island… or created like in your case, such a detail does not count.

The annoying baby phase was skipped and you saw the light of day at the age of 2, fully developed with the vocabulary of a toddler and the emotional ups and downs.

Some might say you are a little spitting image of Saira and Dash Haber. You inherited your 'mother's' bad eyesight and your father's gray hair, your eyes are blue-gray. You have a curious character but your parents taught you early on what behavior and following rules mean. At the age of 3, you are always very proud when you can help your mom with one of her experiments.

You don't understand that these are evil experiments that harm other people. For you, everything your mother does is exciting, much more exciting than the strange things that Aunt Cleo collects or the questions that Uncle Gunnar, asks you while grinning so strangely and writing something down on a pad of paper. Your mom also likes cat videos. Cats are soooo great!

That's why one of your favorite students at the Vile Academy is Tigress. She has a big cat costume and every time you run into her, you call out loudly and for everyone else to hear - big kitten - before you try to hug one of Tigress' legs. Most of the time, however, Tigress uses her acrobatic skills and her speed to get to safety from you. She's not really the person who likes children. But that doesn't bother you - you still like the big kitten. Even if she's not one of your mother's favorite students.

That would be Crackle - also known as Graham - but you don't find him half as nice as Paper Star. One of Uncle Gunnar's favorites. Which of course doesn't mean that you don't have a favorite among the male students at the academy. Even though he doesn't speak and speaks a completely different language, he understood exactly what you wanted to say with your toddler sounds and words, especially in the first few months after you were created. If you had to choose, your very best friend on the entire campus would definitely be Mime Bomb. You like him and he is currently trying to teach you his way of communicating.

You have a rather mixed relationship with your mom's other friends. After all, the last child on the island was Black Sheep - unfortunately, your paths never crossed.

You were created , after Black Sheep left the island. Countess Cleo was not good with children and once refused to look after you for a few hours at your mother's request, because Saira had to go to an international villain meeting in Seattle and the other Vile chairmen were busy and your father was on an outside mission in New Zealand. Luckily, Coach Brunt took on the task and gave you a cupcake. She is like the cool, strong aunt to you. Even if her outbursts of anger sometimes make you seek protection behind Uncle Gunnar. Similar to Cleo, Shadowsan also kept you at a distance and was always strict with you. Perhaps also because he didn't want an incident like the one with Black Sheep to happen again.

"Daddah back soon? Miss Daddah soooo much!" - you spread your arms to make it clear to Dash , in your video call via the tablet how much you miss him. It had been so many nights since you said goodnight to the moon and indirectly to Dash too, of course, and so many listening cd´s , that your mom put on for you to help you sleep while she was still working overtime in her lab and researching new inventions.

Sometimes your father didn't want you to call him that in front of the other Vile members, because it was actually just the DNA that Dash had thrown together with Saira's DNA. But you saw him as your father and didn't care if he would pull a dramatic face when Aunt Cleo made a nasty comment.

"I still have a lot to do. You will be a good girl for Dr. Bellum?" - Dash's answer sounded cold , but there was a spark of compassion in his eyes.

"Good girl, yes! Help Mommy! By by Daddah!”, you wave once into the camera as your father has to end the video call and then run out of your room with the tablet in your hand to your mother , to give the tablet back. Saira was careful not to give you too much screen time.

"There's my lucky charm! Come to Mommy, you can help me and Professor Maelstrom with an important experiment!" - with these words, your mom picked you up and you quickly dropped the tablet onto the sofa , before you automatically wrapped your arms around her neck and were curious about what kind of experiment it was.

You can help? How great! You're a good helper! A good girl to be proud of. Maybe there will be muffins or cupcakes for that later?

You were put down on a table in your mother's lab and Uncle Gunnar came into the room followed by Crackle. Crackle , was told to sit in the chair… it didn't look like a normal chair… not really like your high chair either, which you were less and less keen to get into. Was it a new chair?

“…..it won't happen again…I can get better!”, - said Crackle as the arm straps closed.

“Was Crackle naughty....bad?”, you asked curiously to Uncle Gunnar as your mom approached the now immobilized Crackle with a small device.

Gunnar stood next to you at the edge of the table, partly because you leaned forward curiously and threatened to fall down - he grabbed you and put you down on the floor….the cleaners, had enough to do, they don't have to remove blood stains from a toddler.

“Oh indeed. Crackle broke the rules and now has to face the consequences”, - said Gunnar with a devious undertone.

“Bad Crackle! Don't break rules! Time out,” - you said, making clicking noises with your tongue.

“Oh my little lucky charm, I don’t think our Crackle can make up for this rule breaking with a time out” - your mother laughed, almost in a delusional manner, and then turned to Crackle.

“It won’t hurt, you’ll just be a little dizzy… and then the happy days will follow!”

The next thing you saw was your mom putting the strange device on Crackle’s head, turning it on and then Crackle letting out a few panicked screams , before his body remained sitting on the chair, asleep and without the energy to defend itself. Apparently he had fainted.

Your mom starts to laugh evilly, Uncle Gunnar starts to laugh amusedly, so it must be something good… the evil Crackle has learned that you should follow rules… so you giggle childishly once and clap your hands several times, you adapt to the mood of the adults. Because they know what is right and what is wrong.

“That’s my girl! Just watch careful, then one day you'll be just as wonderful a scientist as your mommy!” - your mother said happily, first putting the strange device away and then picking you up again.

“Your thoughts and brain experiments are getting better . And Crackle won't remember anything?”, said Gunnar as the two were on their way to the meeting room, where the other chairmen of Vile were already waiting for them. You had now rested your head tiredly on your mother's right shoulder and your eyes half closed, you would soon be asleep.

“I guarantee that Crackle won't remember anything , that has to do with us, the island or Vile… but I will never forget my boy,” said your mom.

Half asleep, you pat your mom's left hand and the glove.

“My mommy! Me mommy's favorite”

Uncle Gunnar's amused laughter penetrates your ears like cotton wool as you get increasingly tired.

But you hear your mom's answer and loving words very clearly before you slip into a gentle sleep.

"Of course you are mommy's favorite, my favorite girl…my favorite lucky charm. Forever"

THE END

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 13

<<previous page | next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

Once Diego and I walked in we were instantly bombarded with the scent of alcohol and old men.

“This is interesting,” I whispered to Diego

The place wasn't the typical bar; it wasn't overly crowded, just a few guys talking at the counter. Some turned to look at us but said nothing. Diego looked especially out of place because he was glaring at everyone trying to look around for Klaus. But it didn’t take me a long time to spot him, he stood next to a wall of different framed photos. My face dropped when I saw him wiping tears away with the back of his hands. Diego and I moved quickly towards him, but quietly so we wouldn’t scare him.

Diego placed his gloved hand on the back of Klaus’s shoulder, instead of his normal self he looked stressed when he saw us standing there. He just sighs, “look, just go away please”

“Please just talk to us,” I whispered in a calm voice.

“We’re not leaving till you tell us,” Diego adds.

But Klaus takes that as an insult and scoffs. “Is that a threat, you're threatening me?” And with that Diego takes his hand off the man's shoulder, I fear that he's too far gone in the slums to talk to right now.

By the steps of another person, I knew we were about to have our first complaint of the night. When I turned around I saw an old man who had a veteran pin on his shirt. He looked unhappy with our presence but tried to keep calm to the best ability.

“Hey guys, and lady..” he starts. “This bar? It’s for vets only.”

“I am a vet,” Klaus calls out while still facing the photos.

The vet lets out a chuckle. “Really? Where’d you serve?” He looks at me thinking that this is one big joke, but I know he's dead serious.

“None of your business.” Klaus barks out.

That leaves the man stunned for a second. “You got balls comin’ in here, pretendin’ you’re one of us.”

“Oh, I have every right to be here just like you.” Klaus turns around. “Asshole.” He yells.

The man's calm and collected face turned into rage at Klaus’s comment and staggered towards him. Which caused us to panic, Diego pushed him back and I took a step in front of Klaus shielding him with my body.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Slow down, Marine.” Diego tried to de-escalate the situation. “All right? My brother’s just had a few too many. Let’s just call it a day, All go our own way.” Even though he wanted to leave, I was happily ready to start a fight.

The other men in the bar start to surround us to look in on the argument going on. “Sure thing.” The man smirks while looking at his friends and walks backward leaving us space to get out of the bar.

Diego sighs. “Thank you, man. Klau-“

“As long as you apologize.” The man puts his hand on Diego's chest to stop him from leaving. Klaus only giggles at the man's stupidity.

Diego stares at him, mouth agape. “Fine. I’m sorry. He's sorry. She’s sorry. We’re all sorry. So.. are we good?” Diego asks. The man pauses and stares and has a bright idea to say. “I wanna hear him say it.”

“You're pushing your luck.” I cut in while glancing around the room at all the angry faces. All the other vets in the bar seemed to circle us wanting to start something.

“If any of you guys have a problem, leave it with me.” I address the room.

I've always been quick to get emotional, especially pissed off when someone was trying to get at Klaus.

Diego stares at me in desperation before turning to the man with fear. “ Hey, man, I’m just trying to solve this okay? It doesn’t have to be a big thing” He tells the man.

“No no no no, he’s right, Y/n. He’s right. He's right.” Klaus turns to the chaos unfolding that he started. “I’d like to apologize…” he walks over to the man with a hand on his chest, trying his best to be sincere.

But Diego takes it genuinely and takes a sigh of relief that this will all be over now. Knowing Klaus it was just getting started.

He continues to speak. “That you.. are depriving some village of their idiot!” He screams.

The chaos reaches a breaking point when the man swings at Klaus, but thankfully he dodges and gives him a headbut in return that sends the man flying back. I give Diego a grin and he rolls his eyes at me and punches a man who comes towards him.

..

We left the bar with way more blood on our hands from when we came in originally and looking back, I think we overdid it. The walk back to Diego's car was silent except for Klaus's occasional giggle and the wisp of golden light entering everyone’s bodies. As we entered the car I once again got in the passenger's seat leaving Klaus in the back as we sped off to a random location of Diego’s choosing.

The location happened to be the street that faced Griddy’s which made Klaus and I want to go get doughnuts but we stayed to listen to what Diego was saying. “You got a big mouth, you know that?” He said while looking at Klaus through the rearview mirror and laughing

“Oh, wow what a truly shocking revelation, Diego.” Klaus reached into his pocket to pull out some substance, even now all these years with him I never knew what he was taking.

Diego continued talking and laughing. “Yeah, everything’s a big joke to you right?” Until he glances at the back seat to see Klaus trying to swallow the pill. “Would you stop it?” He yells.

Diego tries to pull away the drugs from the man and they start struggling back and forth like two children fighting for the last candy. It ended with Diego victorious and Klaus pouting and slamming his hands against his seat in a sort of tantrum

“Why are you putting this shit in your body?” Diego asks him. Klaus blows raspberries in response. “Check this out. Hm?” Diego lifts his shirt and turns in his seat towards Klaus. “My body is a temple. All that shit you do man, it's just weakness.” He says while patting his abs.

I didn't even think a person could be that ripped, not even Diego, I don’t know why I kept staring. It started to feel a little concerning.

Klaus slouches in his seat. “Oh wow, beautiful. Well, weakness feels so good. Don’t you agree Y/n?” His sarcastic words break me from my trance as he sneakily tries to pop another pill.

This time Diego smacks him on his head. “What’s goin’ on with you? Huh?” He raises his voice.

“Don’t hit me, asshole!” Klaus shouts back.

The two of them get in each other's faces. I had to physically press on their chest for them to not start hitting each other again. “Stop it!” I chimed in.

“Don’t tell me everything's alright, because I saw you in there. You were crying like a baby!” Diego points in the direction where the place was while talking to Klaus.

“Because I lost someone!” Klaus breaks down and Diego stops and takes a deep breath letting Klaus talk. “I lost someone. One of the only.. One of the only people I've ever truly loved more than myself.

That leaves Diego with his mouth open lost in thought as well as myself, Klaus takes it as a sign that he can finally pop his pill in peace. “Cheers.” He calls out to us before swallowing.

“Well, you are luckier than most,” Diego says quietly. “When you lose somebody, at least you can.. see them whenever you want.

He’s right, from what I know Klaus can do that. He did it when he accidentally stepped on a dying bird when we were fourteen after Ben got upset that he just squished it. Wait a minute, Ben.. if Klaus truly wanted he could see Ben. He’s always been a sour topic but I wonder if he’s tried it before. I told myself that I needed to ask him about that later.

We all sat in silence until I took a look through the rear view mirror towards the street at Griddy’s. I wanted a donut, even if I didn't need it to survive. “Guys do yo-“

They both looked at my shocked face. “Do we what, Y/n?” Klaus asked

I felt a strange feeling in my bones. It was the feeling of someone’s heartbeat I've felt before, and of course, I hear a lot of the same ones day to day but this one was different. It was troubled and lost, and it was the exact heartbeat I heard when the mansion was attacked. “Oh my god..” I whispered. “The man with the bear mask from the mansion is right over there.” They followed my pointing finger and we all slightly tensed.

I was right, he was right there getting in his car. If it wasn't for his body signals I wouldn't be able to tell that was him since he looks so different without the mask.

“Hey, I know that guy, he and a really angry lady tortured me. I barely got out with my life.” Klaus restates.

I look at Diego to see his reaction and he stares at me, we have that type of understanding with each other now. As the man's car pulled out of the parking lot we knew what we needed to do.

“We gotta get this guy.” We all speak at the same time.

..

“Singles instead of doubles. What’s next, futons on the floor?” I complained as I entered our new motel room.

Cha-Cha only groans. “What difference does it make? We're only here for another night.”

I set my donut bag and my coat on my tiny bed. “Well, that's easy for you to say, I've been in every pawn shop all over town, lookin’ for our briefcase. And you’ve been relaxing in the library.”

She scoffs and pulls out a small book from her bag on the tv stand. “Well, at least we know somethin’ on the family that can help.” I give her a confused glance. “This book, it's like a Hargreeves family handbook.”

“And let me tell you, they’re a real freakin’ mess. Number Five can time travel without a briefcase, but not that well. The big oaf lived on the moon for a few years. The junkie can really conjure the dead. Which explains why he knew about the dead Russian yesterday. And the idiot in the mask can curve anything that he throws, usually knives.”

I turn to look out the window that was concealed by heavy cloths, just to see what’s going on around us. A sudden sound draws my attention and it’s a car, my car that’s currently being looked at by the knife man.. and her.

“What about the girl?” I turned back to Cha-Cha.

“Be more specific,” She said. “The one who I supposedly beat to death the other day.” I did truly regret that, that was dirty work that I hoped to rid myself of. If Agnes knew I did that to one of her past employees it would be over between us.

Cha-Cha scrolls between the pages trying to look for a part on the girl. “Found it, holy shit. That bimbo can heal herself and anyone around her.”

“Her and the knife boy are the ones we have to worry about right now.” I sigh.

“Why?”

“Because they are currently in the parking lot right now hiding behind an ice cream truck.”

“Fuck”

..

“Bingo” Diego says while staring at Hazel and Cha-Cha. They quickly peaked out their window to stare at us before shutting the blinds again. I told him that was a stupid plan to make them see us but I guess it worked in the end.

He started to prepare, grabbing his knives and suiting up to take these murders down. We only looked at him. “You do know that killing these people is not gonna make you feel any better,” Klaus says.

“Yeah.. but when it's done, I'm gonna sleep like a baby,” Diego replies with a smile.

“Sure you will..”

..

A knock at the door alerts us, Cha-Cha was doing whatever she does but I was sitting just trying to eat my donut. I turned to her as we grabbed our guns and headed for the door. I stand at the window and she stands behind the door

With our guns drawn we prepare for an ambush from the Hargreeves, I drop my gun down when I see who’s standing at the door from the window. “Motel clerk,” I told Cha-Cha.

She quickly opened the door and there he was, an old man with a note in his hand. Without saying anything he hands her the note and walks away. “It’s from Five.”

“How’d he even find us?” I questioned.

“Well, he was us. He knows all the protocols. He says he has the briefcase and wants to set up a meeting.” Her eyebrows raise at the note. “Come on, we’re late already.”

I start to pack up my belongings to leave but stop when I remember our stalkers. “What about our friends outside? The last thing we need is a tail. Remember Manila, 1902?”

She stops for a second. “Let’s just go with the ice bucket.” The ice bucket was a plan we’ve used for ages against situations just like this. It starts with me leaving the motel with the ice bucket and Cha-Cha leaving out the window after putting on the tv to make it seem like we're there.

And that's exactly what we did.

..

We watched as Hazel left the motel with an ice bucket instead of his gun and instead of with his partner. “I don’t get it..” I told the group.

“Yeah me neither.” Klaus agreed.

“Stay in the car,” Diego told us.

Klaus and I break into spatters of what and why. “What are you talkin’ about? This guy tortured me.” Klaus said. “There’s no way I'm letting you go by yourself, Diego,” I add on.

He just gives us a look. “I have a plan.” And leaves.

This is a perfect time to ask Klaus about what I wanted to do before. “Hey, Klaus..” I start. He looks up at me. “Remember when Diego said that when you lose somebody you can see them whenever you want? I can't believe i never thought about it this way and I know he’s something we don’t talk about much. But do you see Ben?” I finished my anxious rambling.

Klaus just gives me the most wide eye stare ever.

“Is everything okay?" I asked

One minute he’s looking at the spot next to him the next minute he’s leaping out of the car and running away from me toward Diego.

“Klaus??” I yell out to his darting figure. What the hell was that?

..

That was the most uncomfortable moment I’ve ever had in a car, and I’ve been in a cop car several times. Ignoring the voice of Ben yelling at me I book it to Diego to go help him.

I see him on the top of the staircase getting ready to jump out. “So, what exactly is the plan here, big guy? Oh, I’m sorry that I ruined your moment.”

“I told you to wait in the car.”

“Yeah, but you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes.” He slowly turns to me. “We were eight.” Diego tries to justify. I just shrugged at him. “Plus the car was getting a little stuffy.”

“You know I don’t understand you. I thought you liked being around Y/n.” Not what she’s asking questions about my dead brother..

I pretend I can't hear him and instead, I jump out to see if there’s anyone there like Diego was doing before I came over. But instead of seeing my captors, he grabs hold of me and brings me down the stairs.

“What? Oh, come on.” I whined.

“For once in your life, I need you to listen to me, okay? Now go back to the car. If I don’t come back in two minutes, that means I’m probably dead. That happens, go grab Y/n. She’ll know what to do. Okay?”

I huff at him but he’s dead serious. “Yeah, okay, okay, okay.” He runs back upstairs leaving me free to follow him again. But then he stops and raises his arm for me to leave. “Okay. I'm going "I yell.

I decided to wait at the bottom of the stairs, knowing the conversation headed for me inside the car would be pretty heated, but the conversation came towards me when Y/n ran over. But she doesn’t say a word to me, instead, she runs up the stairs when she hears Diego burst through the doors of their motel room.

The only thing I see is her hair moving in the wind behind her as I run after her. There was Diego right in front of their door, but also the sound of a revving car coming toward us.

..

The first gun shot comes from Cha-Cha, who had her mask back on. I realized what they were doing when I heard they’re bodies getting closer and closer. With Klaus protected, from him being behind me, I grab onto Diego and pull him down to the ground. I thought I had saved him because he missed the shot that had come right towards us. But the reality was the bullet still hit Diego and he cried out in pain. I’d have to deal with that soon before it starts to really affect him.

Soon their car had passed us, and it was finally over. Klaus was the first to speak. He was raving about how if he went back to the car, I wouldn’t have come out and Diego would’ve been hurt more. “Oh man, see? You used to think I was an idiot.” He cheered.

Diego and I tried to catch our breath from the crazy thing that just happened while we looked at Klaus. “Well, I still think you’re an idiot. Come on, they're getting away.” Diego says.

“But you have a bullet in you Diego” I try to stop him.

“No time, deal with it later.” He shouts and speeds off towards the car. Klaus gives me a small smile. “You’re welcome!” He tells me.

I narrow my eyes at the gleeful male. “Don’t think we're done talking about this, Klaus Hargreeves.” He gives me a fearful look and runs after Diego.

Once we return to the car we’re yelled at to get in, but he doesn’t look down and realize that our tires have been shot out, and when he does, he starts to freak out.

“Was this all a part of your master plan?” Klaus asked.

“Shut up.”

I look around for alternative ways to get Hazel and Cha-Cha and my eyes reach the ice cream truck right next to us.

..

By the grace of God, I'm able to track down Hazel and Cha-Cha just by listening out for them, something I never thought I was able to do in a sea of people everywhere.

We are led out of the city and towards the countryside following these people. The only thing I hear is the sound of Klaus and Diego wondering where we’re going every five seconds. And being squished in the front of an ice cream truck didn’t help it either.

Once we could make out the car in the distance Klaus insisted that we turn on the ice cream truck siren, something about looking more inconspicuous I don’t know I wasn’t listening.

Their plan was simply to run into them with the ice cream truck. What we didn’t expect was Five and Luther, there they were standing in front of another car looking at us like we were crazy.

I immediately thought that this was a bad idea but with Klaus's crazy driving, it had already been too late. All I hope is that I would come back if I died doing this, just to haunt Klaus’s ass.

He waved at Five and Luther before picking up speed. “Go faster!” Diego shouted. Why am I here with these morons? Is what I thought to myself.

Hazel and Cha-Cha looked confused for a minute before pointing their guns at us and shooting. That’s when I remember why I’m here, to save these two from dying. But the truck was surprisingly sturdy, and as we ran into them, only the glass was busted.

I looked back at the others, and I saw Luther concealing Five’s body with his own, the same thing I would’ve done in that situation.

But I wasn’t in the ice cream truck anymore. I hadn’t looked at Luther and Five. None of that happened because now all I remember seeing is a familiar blue light and landing in hard grass. Along with Five and a strangely dressed woman.

They both looked fine, but I was very dazed. “Where am I?”

“Welcome to the commission Y/n L/n, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

…

(Trying some new things lmk if you like them!!)

Taglist:

@gabriella-aesthetic @aloflapse @tialovesyoutoo @isomehowexist @elenalovestoread @miscrying @dakotapaigelove @solarbeanz @theoriginalone1111 @water-hemlock18 @bunnychano3o

[thesensteawitch]

Pick A Pile Reading

A Message Meant To Reach You!🕊️

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hey, Senstea Souls!

I am back with another collective reading. It's a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Feel free to DM me in case of any queries. Bookings are open!

Pile 1

Animal Spirit- Sea Serpent

Tarot Cards- The Chariot, Judgement, Queen of Wands, Seven of Swords, The World, Two of Wands

Did you take a wrong turn in life, pile 1? Or a dangerous road. A road that was all about our darkest of desires and you were meant to rescue something good that was stuck in a loophole. Your cards are very positive but I sense that someone stole something from you and it weakened your ability to communicate your truth. But the good thing is that the Universe wants you to know that soon you'll enter into the phase of rebirth. You'll be freed. I feel you have been planning something for a very long time. You developed this plan based on many experiences you have had. There's an assurance that your plan is going to work. What you want is coming. You are soon going to complete a full circle. I hear, “Some mistakes get made that's alright that's okay, in the end, it's better for me that's the moral of the story babe.” The color blue is prominent in your reading. You may be seeing a lot of butterflies. A huge change is coming into your life. Something is finally ending. Perhaps your old self. The moment you tell you truth and you say what's there in your mind you'll see a page turning in your life. You'll soon come face to face with a traitor. It can be a thought or a real person. Communicate and the fog will be cleared. You are divinely protected, pile 1. You just need to have your desires in control and let your creativity flow freely. Soon you'll free yourself of all the judgements. Make sure you do not take a wrong turn. Stay on your path. I hope this helped. See you soon! If you want more clarity regarding this situation or any other feel free to check out my rate card and book your reading.

Important chakras: Throat and Sacral.

Pile 2

Animal spirit- Raccoon

Cards- Temperance, Four of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, The Fool, Queen of Wands, Judgement

Pile 2, you are going to be blessed in such a way that you won't be able to grab everything at once. You'll receive so much praise and abundance that they will overflow and others will be picking them up for you. If something especially a relationship was going downhill then know that resolution is coming. Have faith but keep your balance. Don't cheat. Don't pretend to have faith. Have patience. Don't be a cat who cannot help but run after a rat as soon she lays eyes on him. Your words hold power currently. You may observe that whatever you say will manifest itself. So make sure you think twice before saying anything. But at the same time use it for the best. Manifest with good intentions. Your affirmations are working if you have been affirming. Whatever is changing know that it's all you. You are bringing a change in your life. Some of you may be writing or speaking a lot lately or have the urge to do so. Some of you may even be musicians. Just don't be too stubborn about your art. Art is flexible. It can move in any direction as it gives you uncountable perceptions. Some of you may still be struggling with money. The push and pull between you and your art is coming to an end. Soon you'll see a clear picture. Trust the process and more importantly trust yourself. You may feel overwhelmed currently or in the coming days. Keep your emotional meter in check. Don't get it cracked up. I also see movement. Some of you may be moving houses. Stay true to your words, pile 2, and own your true self. I hope this helped. See you soon! If you want more clarity regarding this situation or any other feel free to check out my rate card and book your reading.

Pile 3

Animal Spirit- Cosmic Egg

Cards- Queen of Swords, Queen of Cups, Nine of Pentacles, King of Wands, 5 of Swords, Ten of Wands

Words mean a lot to you, pile 2. You know it because all day you are somehow surrounded by them. You feel that your words hold power. And they definitely do. I see a group of friends. Though honest, your words sometimes make people upset. You need to be very careful. I see that some of you are working on a project and perhaps 3 people were involved in it. You very well know the plan of action. What to do and what not to do. Your commands may feel threatening to others. That's why some people do not want you to boss them. But clearly, you deserve to be in charge. You can work alone pretty well though, just like a magician. You have all the knowledge to work by yourself and ace it. But you are so deeply hurt that the work now seems like too much to handle. As soon as you let go of bitter emotions you will be able to create what you were supposed to since the beginning. This journey will be alone and slow but it'll definitely bear fruits. Nine months from now you'll be grateful that you did it alone. It's between you and the universe now. Universe will take care of the rest for you. It cares for you as much as it does for those who believe in it. Don't underestimate yourself pile 3. Within a few months, you are going to be blessed with abundance. You'll achieve your goals and it will all be self-made. Put your work aside for a while and take a break. Release the negative emotions or grudges you hold. And then begin again. You'll ace whatever you were working on. I sense strong air and fire sign energy. Don't unnecessarily make your working space crowded when you have the capability to make things work on your own. I hear, “I am not gonna make it alone.” You are not alone, pile 3. We meet so many people in this lifetime. You'll find the perfect match for you too. Till then know that you aren't alone. You never were. I read a quote, “We are carried. In bellies. In arms. In love. In hope. In caskets. In urns. In grief. In memories. Our whole lives and into the next. We are carried.” I hope this helped. See you soon! If you want more clarity regarding this situation or any other feel free to check out my rate card and book your reading.

[progfessor-dyke]

HOLY SHIT I'M ALREADY UP TO POWER WINDOWS!!!!

Which is their 11th studio album, meaning I am really halfway there (and yes, living on a prayer). In his memoir, Geddy said this was in his top five Rush albums, and, well, he would be the expert, no? So, without further ado, here are my Thoughts on this synth-era classic: 1. "The Big Money"- This album was one of the more recent additions to my collection, and I remember listening to it the first time on a cold January evening, I think I had just turned 16, and being absolutely blown away by this opening. By the synths, by the bass line, by the sound of it. Of how clear and sharp the whole album sounded, and I couldn't believe that Rush had done it again: made another album that I loved. Power Windows is also one of my favorite Rush albums, and this opener completely sucked me in. It also establishes the themes of power present throughout the album: that "big money" wields so much power. 2. "Grand Designs"- This is one of my favorite songs on this album (hint: I could say that about any song on this album). I love how the synths sound, I love the accentuation of Alex's guitar, and I love the lyrics!!! The whole vibe of the song, to me, is about personal power, and it has just such a clear, optimistic vibe. 3. "The Manhattan Project"- Who doesn't love a song that Neil read an encyclopedia about the Manhattan Project to write? It's about the creation of the atom bomb and the impact it had, so obviously it's about the power of imperialism and it's about nuclear power. I love the way the breakdown is used in this song, and I love the climax when when Geddy sings "flying out of the shockwave".

4. "Marathon"- Okay, I may have lied about Grand Designs being my favorite song on this album, because I also love this one wayyy too much. The frantic baseline, the steady beat of the drums, and the modulation during the last chorus--- it really feels like you achieved something by the end of the song. This is song is just so... uplifting to me. I love it so much (did I say that already?). 5. "Territories"- This song is about nationalism and it's dangers--- which is another sort of power. The power on a national scale. Honestly, Neil's drumming on this track (and his lyrics) are absolutely spectacular, and I wish I saw this song mentioned more often when talking about his best tracks. I also love how the second verse also touches on how propaganda is really the machine that keeps this cycle going--- and I love the word play of "In different circles we keep holding our ground/ Indifferent circles we keep spinning round and round". That is just so clever. 6. "Middletown Dreams"- As I'm going through more and more of these songs, I'm noticing that the album is really split between personal and societal power and the impact it has. For example, this song is really about taking the power of your dreams and passions in your own hands, and pursuing what you love. I once watched/listened to an interview with Neil Peart, and he mentioned this song specifically as one that fans misinterpret as being cynical, when he never intended it to be cynical. I just found that really interesting. Another thing I'm noticing as I'm listening to this album is how fresh the synths sound to me--- the album doesn't sound dated at all to me (maybe because I listen to so much prog it's rotted my brain?). 7. "Emotion Detector"- Ahhh a song about the power of emotions, and the trouble of reading the emotions of others. The song also talks about the balance between being cut off and being too open with others which is a common theme in Rush's music and totally doesn't make me think Neil was neurodivergent of some kind haha anyway. This song is really about human relationships, and the way we communicate with each other, and some of the lines in this song are so good. And Alex's guitar solo is phenomenal. As usual. 8. "Mystic Rhythms" - This is about the power that nature has over us and our sense--- it's a song about the mysteries of the unknown, and it's soooo cool. My only gripe with this song is that it fades out at the end, and it's the closing track. Although, in this case, I could be persuaded to believe that it adds to the mystery of the track, and may have been intentional.

[kakiastro]

Chiron Aries transit: Wounded Identity

2018-2027

I think this gif reflects this transit so well. It’s time to see the beauty in you and heal

We’re not discussing this transit enough because it’s playing a huge role in what’s currently going on.

Chiron is known as the “wounded healer.” It’s the wound that leaves a permanent scar on you. The pain never fully goes away but it can be tolerable. Chiron is also a healer, when you start to heal yourself, you can help others. He’s also a teacher, understanding those wounds and learning from them is healing for you on a soul level.

So how does this affect the collective?

Chiron can teach us and show us where we need to heal as a collective.

It’s been in the sign of Aries for 8 years and the year 2027 will its last until 2077(I’ll be in my 80s🥴😅). Chiron returns every 50 years back to a sign.

Aries is ruled by the warrior planet Mars. It rules our identity, Men, courage, our motivation, sex, the head.

What have we been and needs healing these last 8-9 years as a collective?

-the corrupt power of men and world stage leaders, and the downfall of them is a main theme I’m seeing here. I’m pretty sure this is when the Metoo movement became prominent in our conversations in society as a whole.

-Men/Masc energy folks are being asked to heal those old wounds that’s haunted them all their lives so they can be their best selves.

- women/fem energy folks are finding a courage and level of independence they never knew they had before.

-every single soul here is currently having an identity crisis and asking themselves “who tf am I? I know what I’ve been taught or what I’ve been who I should be, but is this really me?”

-standing up for yourself when you didn’t have bravery to before.

-lack of motivation is another theme.

Those who are going through there Chiron Return (gen x) those born in the late 60s & early 70s are really going through this. It’s the midlife crises of the self. Aries is the baby of the zodiac so that’s people are trying to relieve some sort of lost youth that they had.

Example : Leonardo DiCaprio-Chiron Aries 7h. His relationship wounds have been in the spotlight more than his movies. He has a problem with serious relationship commitment “hence him dating young non committal women”, he’s stuck in his 90s it boy youth days. I’m not saying needs to act old or anything but maturity and surrounding himself with mature (adults his age) is a big theme for him.

You know, the pandemic is also apart of this storyline. We were at home by ourselves(Aries). Life stopped and we had to face the music within ourselves.

-Anger and frustration is also a huge thing we are healing through. How we express this emotion in a healthy way. There’s lots of things to be currently angry about but Chiron is asking us “are you going to let it consume you in hurt and destruction or use it to light the inspiration flame inside you? Your choice.”

Ive always felt Aries and Scorpio chirons are the most intense because it’s Mars energy Mars is deep, intense, passionate. Scorpio is also ruled by Mars(if you didn’t know)

- with the NN Aries & eclipse Aries, this Wounded and healing energy is going to be more prevalent now than before. Neptune enters this sign next year, you’ll be asking “who am I, body and soul?”

We are in the “time to face the music and heal era” are you doing the work?

So as we move through these next few years of this transit, think on how much growth you’ve done since 2018. The person you are now in 2024 won’t even be the same person in 2027. Document everything because this is how you see astrology work in real time.

Im open for readings!

[firedrakegirl]

“I should explain some things to you.” Loki said, before even saying hello.

I looked up at my soulmate, who was standing in my doorway at 9 am on a Saturday. I blinked sleepily at him, then just took his hand and moved back inside the house. I heard the door close behind him as I dragged him over to the couch and pushed him onto it. I grabbed a pillow and blanket from the nest in the corner, plopped the pillow on his lap, then wrapped us both up before snuggling close with my head on his lap. “Too early for truths. Time for snuggles instead, then we can talk later.” I could feel his tension and looked up at him with a soft smile. “Just snuggles. And sleep. I don’t morning.”

He finally relaxed and I felt his fingers move into my hair. I melted as he just scritched my scalp gently, my eyes slipping closed again. “Sleep well, little dragon.”

I woke up later, though I wasn’t sure how much later. My arms were wrapped around his waist and my nose pressed against his stomach. I nuzzled him before pulling back a little. He looked down at me with his green eyes, a gentle smile on his face. “Good morning. Do you feel better now?”

I hummed in agreement, slowly sitting up. “Much. Sorry, I am really not a morning person.”

“I noticed.” He laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, then my forehead, nose, then lips. “I may have been slightly impulsive in coming here without warning. But can I offer you lunch?”

“Is it really lunch time?”

“Well after. It’s 2:15.” He chuckled. 

“I slept another five hours?!” I squeaked, stunned. 

He laughed and pulled me into his lap. “Yes. You slept very deeply.” His arms wrapped around me and he rested his chin on my head. “I couldn’t bear to wake you.”

“You should have. I really didn’t mean to sleep on you for more than an hour.” 

“I don’t mind. I got a book from your shelf and have been quite enjoying the quiet.” He held up the book that was resting on the armrest. “I enjoy Midgardian literature.”

“Well, then we’re gonna have to have book dates.” I grinned, tilting my head to kiss his chin.

“That sounds so nice. But it does bring me back to the reason I came here.”

“I vaguely remember you saying something about needing to explain when you got here? I’m sorry, I don’t really remember.”

“Yes. There’s a lot. May I get us lunch, then I’ll explain everything. I just ask that you save questions for when I’m done talking. Some of it will be very difficult to talk about.”

“Loki, if you’re trying to bribe me with food... yeah, okay, that’s one of the best things to bribe me with, but you don’t have to. I’ll listen to and trust you just because you’re my soulmate. That earns you automatic rights to vent to me or just discuss the past.”

“It will simply be easier to discuss while I have something to do with my hands.”

“And mouth to give you a chance to collect your thoughts and/or emotions?” He hummed in agreement. “Then food sounds great. Why don’t you pick something and I’ll put real clothes on. I’m allergic to crumbly cheeses and tomato intolerant. I’ll let you pick beyond that.” I hugged him tightly and moved off his lap.

“I know we text a lot, but this is our first time seeing each other since the ball.” He pointed out.

“And I straight up kidnapped you into cuddles. Oh my gods, I’m so sorry.”

Loki laughed. “Don’t be. I very much enjoyed it. Did you know you hum in your sleep?”

I let out an embarrassed whine hiding my face in my hands. “At least I don’t sing anymore.”

He positively lit up at that. “You used to sing in your sleep?”

“You. Order food. I’m going to get ready for the day. Then we can talk.” I was absolutely changing the subject and running away but I didn’t need to distract from the reason he’d come over. It had nothing to do with my embarrassment.

When I came out a bit later, wearing real clothes instead of pjs and having taken care of my morning ablutions. Loki was just opening the door to grab our food from the delivery person. I grabbed plates and silverware and set them on the coffee table. He was clearly nervous as we set up the meal together. Once we sat down, I filled my plate and turned to face him, making sure my knee was pressing against his leg to offer comfort.

“Want some small talk before we get started?”

“I’d rather just get into it.” Loki sighed, picking at his food before looking at me.

“Go for it sweetheart. My lips are sealed except for eating.” I rested my hand on his leg.

“Thank you.” He looked at his food while he gathered his thoughts. “So. I’ve known I was adopted since I was a child. My blood is actually a different color than the Aseir or humans, who have the same color red for some reason. Mine is actually more of a... magenta I think is the closest color. Not hugely noticeable with large injuries, but when you, say, fall off the bed while wrestling your brother after lights out and skin your elbow... the difference is clear.” He took a bite of pasta, clearly contemplating what to say next. “Half of what happened when Thor was coronated was orchestrated. I... we were not expecting the level of treason, especially from those who committed it. Those individuals are kept under close watch now. We knew we were being watched by someone outside the Nine and needed a way to... monitor that situation. I am trusted enough that I was permitted to plan the falling out.” Loki looked uncomfortable. “I did not plan for actual war to be declared nor the treason. I had to go to extremes to protect my people and lost my mind more than a little in the process.”

I ate my food quietly as I listened before I reached over to take his hand as he spoke. I remained quiet, per his request, but I ached to comfort him. He squeezed my hand before leaning over to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Thank you darling.” He seemed to settle a little and took another deep breath before continuing. “I made a very bad decision and Thor had to break the Bifrost in order to stop the consequences. I fell, despite Thor and Father trying to catch me. We... We finally found out who was plotting against us. I offered an alliance, which would allow me to find out more information that I could give back to my family.” Pain was clear in his eyes. “Thanos, the Mad Titan, agreed, and then immediately turned around and started torturing me. I lost track of much, including myself. Then he used the Mind Stone to force me to attack Earth.” He refused to meet my eyes, just pushing his food around the plate. “I was unable to break free until the Hulk threw me around like a ragdoll.”

He looked so lost and my heart was breaking for him. Rather than doing what I really wanted it, I gathered a forkful of food and held it up to him. He needed to eat. Loki chuckled and took the bite of food. “Thank you.” He went back to looking at his food and pushing it around the plate. “I made a lot of bad decisions while under Thanos’ influence. I hurt a lot of people, my family included. We have spoken and made up, yet the guilt still remains as I did hurt them badly.” He seemed lost in thought while he spoke. “I did spend time in a cell on Asgard as not even princes are above the law. That meant that when the dark elves invaded, they did believe I was disliked and I was able to trick them. Thor’s plan to protect his beloved did not go as well as any of us would like.” He rubbed his chest where I’d seen the massive scar at the ball. “Mother was stabbed, though she did survive. Father’s anger clouded his vision. Lady Darcy weakening and coming so close to dying had Thor reaching for drastic measures. Still, I did my best to help him. We traveled to Svartalfheim, the realm of the Dark Elves as you would call them, and were able to save the Lady Darcy’s life. Do you know that she kicked me in the groin when we met again on Asgard?” He grinned at that. “She is so good for Thor.”

I grinned back at him, absolutely in agreement. She didn’t take any shit, but also supported and loved him through everything.

“Anyway, the battle was far too close, and there was far too much at stake. I ended up making the sacrifice play, as you mortals call it. I genuinely thought I was going to die when the Kursed impaled me after I impaled it. And Thor nearly sacrificed the Nine to stay with me.” He sighed and ate another bite of food, still not making eye contact. “I believe that gets you up to date?” I just looked at him, waiting for permission to speak. He laughed and kissed my forehead. “Yes, you may talk now. Thank you, darling, for listening.”

“I will always listen to you when you need it.” I promised him, taking his hand and leaning up to kiss him gently. “Now, it sounds like a bunch of impossible circumstances, so there were probably not any good options. So don’t beat yourself up about it. Let’s talk about something else for a while and give you a chance to calm down. This hasn’t changed me wanting to get to know you, my soulmate, or wanting to love you.” I assured, and I watched tension leave his shoulders. “And once you’re done eating, I think we should take advantage of being here together and spend some time together. Do you wanna ask me questions, since you just gave me a run down of your history?”

“Can we talk about something... lighter instead?”

“Oh absolutely!” I hummed, thinking. “You like to read, right? Let’s talk books?”

He ate the last bite of his food and pulled me into his lap, squeezing me like a teddy bear. “Thank you, darling.”

[chuckeroo777]

Frieren Liveblog- Chapters 5-8

Welcome back! Today we continue the cute adventures of Frieren and her apprentice Fern. Let's see what painful memories of Himmel we can dredge up today.

Remember, this is a first read-through, so no spoilers please!

Nothing personal kid.

I wonder if Frieren learned this spell from somewhere, or if she devised it herself, drawing from the hundreds of lesser spells she's collected to weave together a comprehensively powerful spell.

Maybe it's a little early for me to be making such judgements, but it feels like Frieren is somewhere on the spectrum. Between her difficulty expressing emotions, difficulty with social cues, and generally detached behavior while still clearly caring, she certainly fits the part.

Ah, but what about teleportation? Is that a thing in this magic system? Or even just a haste spell of some kind. It sounds unstoppable, but it has a weakness.

Fern, I stg, I literally told you to read the book that explained it.

Ah, so it wasn't unbeatable, just not understood. And without the element of surprise, it's just another spell.

You're the one who used the cheaty magic first. Fair's fair. She was nice enough to give you a chance to surrender.

Guys, she's literally wearing pants under her skirt. Ugh, men, am I right? Reminds me of the time I was DMing, and the party finally confronted the evil goddess in her sanctum. And rather than focusing on stopping the world ending ritual, the rogue decided it would be a good idea to crawl up into her dress. I then made the mistake of describing something horrific in there instead of rejecting it outright, which only made him more determined.

And you know what that means! Loot!

God, I love her.

It's probably partially just ingrained in her, but this behavior sounds like symptoms of depression. Either way, it's probably good for her to have someone like Fern around to support her, both physically and emotionally.

Hopefully pirate ghosts don't mind you turning their ships into scrap wood.

Gosh darn it, I'm already adoring their relationship. Frieren is weird as hell, and Fern doesn't get it, but damn if she doesn't do her best to support her anyway.

But it reminded you of your friend. And perhaps that's enough.

In a setting I'm working on, an afterlife does exist, but little is known about it. Souls can be summoned from the beyond, if they're willing, but are unable to describe or remember their time there. Some say the beyond is a place of blissful rest. Others believe it to be nothing but stasis, and some extremists believe it is inhabited by parasites, who harvest souls from our world to provide the beyond with souls of its own.

I suppose this has nothing to do with Frieren. I wonder if we'll get any answers, or if this is just left an open ended question.

I've been finding her rather relatable, but this? Who the hell comes to a friend's house unannounced and declare they are hanging out. Frieren. Frieren, that's who.

Har har. I do wonder what's up with the other elves of this world. Why is Frieren alone in human territory anyway?

Glad to see she's learning. Although, when she mentions Fern getting angry, is that true? I don't think we've seen that from her yet. Maybe Frieren just doesn't want to admit how much she respects Fern.

Uh huh. Frieren, it's only been 7 chapters and I can already tell that retracing Himmel's steps is absolutely your core motivation. You can admit you miss him.

Ah, so Flamme was Frieren's master? And judging by the flashback in the next panels, she was a human. I wonder how much contact Frieren has had with other elves? A lack of other immortals might explain her trouble forming meaningful connections.

Hmm... what did she know?

Well then. I guess this is our goal for the foreseeable future. Hmm... all sorts of things could go wrong. This land supposedly existed 1000 years ago, but the Demon King lived there 80 years ago. It wouldn't surprise me if the Demon King destroyed this place, or somehow tapped into its power.

Daw...

I wonder how long Eisen with be joining us. I imagine he's too old to accompany us far.

I'm going to hazard a guess and say she probably cares about you quite a bit, but is hopeless at actually expressing it.

I do wonder what is going through her head. Is she simply afraid to form bonds that would break in no time? Was Himmel the first real friend she made in her long life? What does Frieren truly want?

Those aren't the words of someone who doesn't want to spend time with you.

And that's chapter 8! Four chapters per post seems about right. Stay tuned for the next post shortly!