#I am NOT a writer I just can't draw today and needed to get those two out of my brain-

[trucbiduleschouettes]

"Say, Songbird," Navi started, eyes opening lazily to look up at Katellig's face above her, "Don't ya think I should get a new name?"

Katellig's hand in her hair pauses for a moment, and Navi can't help but snort at the faint blush rising on the marine's cheeks, her thoughtful expression turning embarrassed.

"Don't overthink it Darling, I ain't asking ya to propose."

"I didn't think you were." Katellig answers quickly, a bit too quickly in fact for it to be the truth, her golden eyes staring down at Navi accusingly. 

She truly was far easier to read than she seemed to believe, Navi thinks, nuzzling her head against the aasimar's hand impatiently. As she does, Katellig's fingers start gently scratching her scalp again and Navi finds herself purring contently. 

"Are you going to elaborate on your trail of thought?" Katellig asks eventually, after a comfortable silence had settled on between them.

"Hmm hmm. Maybe. Interested?" Navi asks lazily, snuggling more comfortably against Katellig's thigh under her head. 

"Can't deny I am."

The marine sounds almost annoyed at herself for admitting it. 

Chuckling, Navi takes Katellig's free hand and brings it to her lips, giving it a light kiss followed by a playful nibble. 

In response, the woman pinches her nose and orders her to behave. 

Navi laughs; if there's one order she never listened to, it sure was this one. 

"I was just thinkin'-" she continues, shifting a little to wrap her arms around Katellig's waist and nuzzles closer, "Pirates do tend to be known by various nicknames, yeah?"

"Not always, but in most cases, yes. Although often nicknames given by others carry more weight. One who name themselves would appear too eager to gain a reputation instead of taking the time to build it, and-"

"Ya know your lessons, huh?" Navi chuckles, feeling Katellig's reproachful gaze on her. "Don't be upset birdie, I wasn't mocking ya. It's cute."

"I'm not cute."

"Sure, if that's what ya wanna tell y'self." Navi snorts, rolling her eyes as Katellig's hand lightly tug at the handful of her hair she was now holding. "Oh, playing rough, Songbird? How naughty of ya."

"Hush." 

Katellig’s impressive scold loses its impact due to the heavy blush creeping down her neck, but Navi is wise enough to keep that thought to herself, simply giving the woman an innocent smile in return.

Soon enough, the hand in her hair is back to gently massaging her scalp to appease it from the sharp tug. 

"You want to be known then?" 

"Not necessarily. Not known-known, I haven't done anything to be worth it yet, ya know? Once I find my dad and join his crew, perhaps. Till then? I'm fine being small fry, to just keep ya on ya toes." 

"Am I your personal babysitter, now?" Katellig asks flatly, pinching Navi’s exposed waist. "I won't always be here to save the day, Nav'."

"And when that time comes, I'll find myself with a rope 'round my pretty lil neck." Navi sighs dramatically. "Good thing I can go without breathing for a good while, huh?"

The joking attempt is lost however as Katellig's expression hardens, and the woman's hand leaves her hair. The golden eyes look away from Navi’s mismatched ones, glaring at the wall instead. 

For being her supposedly enemy, that woman sure didn't want to see her hanged.

"Aw, ya care 'bout me, darling?"

"Oh, shut up." Katellig curses -a surprisingly rare occurrence- and Navi chuckles, giving her thigh a light bite. 

"Relax. I won't die, ‘m too busy to find the time for that just yet. Besides, I like keeping ya bed warm-"

"Back to business." Katellig cuts her quickly.

"I'd say ya my business tonight. If ya up for another round-"

"Navi. What do you want me to do?”

"Well, get your hands-"

"I meant about your original question, Gaerson."

"Oooh, calling me by my father 's name now? Exciting."

"You're impossible." Katellig scolded, pushing Navi off her laps to lay back down in bed, wrapping herself in the blanket and stubbornly turning her back to her, seemingly wanting to sleep.

Her sulking attempt does not last long however as Navi wraps her arms around her, pulling her close. 

"Don't be mad at me, lil' birdie." She soothes her, burying her face into Katellig's warm shoulder with a content sigh.

"I just really like ya. I tease people, when I like 'em."

“You must truly like me, then.” 

The tone is sarcastic but there is a questioning look in Katellig’s eyes as she turns to look at her. Navi smiles, all fangs out.

“I wouldn’t be in bed with ya if I didn’t, would I?”

“Right. You really like my ass, I get it.” Katellig says flatly, kicking her from under the blanket, and Navi laughs before stealing a kiss from her.

“Don’t forget ya awful personality. I really like that, too.”

“You really are a romantic, huh.”

“Oh? Is it romance ya looking for with me, now?”

“So, names.” Katellig clears her throat, avoiding the question. 

Navi doesn’t mind nor care for an answer, anyway.Nuzzling back into Katellig’s arms, she hums in agreement.

“Names, yeah. What d’ya think mine should be?”

“Greatest Annoyance.”

“Ahah. Ya should be the Empire's new jester, cracking jokes like that.”

“No thanks.” 

Katellig makes a face at her. Navi understands; neither of them were born in the Empire, their true home being elsewhere; herself at sea, and Katellig back on her little island. Or a better ship, perhaps. Maybe she could convince her to become a pirate, one day. 

…Doubtful. That woman was too much of a people pleaser to follow in her brother’s footsteps and leave the profession. 

“Can’t call me Songbird, this one is for ya.” Navi muses instead, drawing swirly shapes over Katellig’s skin with one of her claws. 

“I figured. Gwelan?”

“What does it mean?”

“Seagull.”

“Seagull.” 

“You do have some white feathers.” 

Navi stares blankly at Katellig’s serious expression. A second later, the two of them start to laugh like children sharing a bad joke. 

“Ya really ain’t taking me seriously, huh?”

“I am, I am.” Katellig promises, apologising with a kiss on her shoulder. Navi is quick to forgive her, pulling her into a proper kiss, which doesn’t take long to turn into more. 

For a while the naming matter is pushed aside, though Navi enjoys the various ways Katellig ends up calling her name. It’s only once they have moved to the bathroom for a much needed bath that the subject arose once again.

“I don’t think a name related to green would be strategic. You’d just sound sickly, rather than impressive.” Katellig states, pulling her hair up into a towel. Navi grins, taking the opportunity to bite her nape, only to be whacked in the arm.

“I won’t leave a mark.” She pouts, resting her chin on Katellig’s shoulder instead,“And I ain’t agreeing with that, songbird. After all, jade is green, so are emeralds and it’s always nice to steal some, ya know?”

“So go by ‘the Jade Thief’, then.”

“Sounds too delicate. I need something more impactful. The old cunt was Windrider, dad is Stormbringer, it ain’t easy living up to that sorta legacy, ya know?”

“Believe it or not, I do.”

“Ah! I met ya dad before, that sure ain’t an easy one to please either, when it comes to reputation, huh?”

The meeting in question was the man furiously throwing her into the cell of a ship, promising to see her hanged before she could be the next Stormbringer. 

And here she was, sleeping with his daughter. Funny, how life worked in mysterious ways sometimes. Not that Navi would complain- she had always enjoyed this sort of irony. 

“Windrider, Stormbringer…” Katellig is now muttering to herself, clearly thinking about the matter seriously. 

“Don’t ya dare suggest the Angry Seagull.” 

“It wouldn’t cross my mind. What about-”

A knock at the door cuts her short before she could share her idea. 

This late in the evening? It couldn’t be the Innkeeper, Navi had made sure to give him a tip in advance, in case of noise complaints. 

Troubles, then? Or…

The two exchange a knowing look, Navi mouthing that she’ll hide in the bathroom. 

Nodding, Katellig puts on a dressing gown that she ties tightly around her, and goes to check the door.

Though she cannot see who it is from her hiding spot, Navi immediately recognises the origin of the disturbance- Ian Louët, Katellig’s father. 

Troubles, indeed. 

Resisting the urge to cause a scene by dramatically exiting the bathroom, she instead focus her attention on the discussion a few steps away. 

“-No, I’m alright. I was just about to head to bed, I- no, I do not have any company. I just… No, sir.” 

Navi grimaces. 

It sounded awkward, to refer to your own father as “sir” even in private. Would her own father ask her that once they met, when they were not in front of the crew? 

Gods, she hoped not. 

Her feathers puffing slightly in displeasure, she sneaks closer to the slightly ajar door, making sure not to let the wood creak under her weight. What was he saying, now? 

“I heard you let the woman escape.”

Ah, right, the escape. 

Navi must admit, she had gone a bit far this time by knocking Katellig unconscious. 

The plan had been to make it look like she had attacked her and stolen the keys, not wanting to incriminate the woman too much. It seemed Katellig’s father was starting to have doubts, however. Smart man. 

Bad news for Katellig, though. And for herself, to some extent. Perhaps she’ll have to avoid crossing Katellig’s path at sea for a little while. Pity. 

“I’m sorry.”, she hears Katellig apologise. “I won’t let it happen again. The Stormchaser will-”

“Stormchaser?” 

From her hiding spot, Navi smiles. 

“Yes. Since she is known to be Stormbringer’s daughter, and is seemingly seeking him, I thought-”

“You’re not paid to think about anything but how to catch her and keep her locked, Katellig. So start working on it, instead of musing uselessly.”

“...Yes, Sir.”

A heavy silence follows. Navi waits, holding her breath. 

Finally, the conversation starts again but she cannot hear most of it, the man’s tone quieter and a bit more fatherly. She wonders what kind of expression Katellig must have been making, for him to soften. 

Oh, how tempting it feels, to just jump out dramatically and steal her away right in front of him. No, not yet. Another day, perhaps. If Katellig sounds willing. 

“I will see you tomorrow. Don’t forget to write to your mother.”

“I’d never. I’ll post it first thing in the morning.”

“Good..”

“Goodnight, Sir.”

“Rest well, Katellig.” 

Navi can’t help but glance through the crack of the door. Katellig’s back is turned to her, but she catches a glimpse of the man giving his daughter’s shoulder a firm pat before leaving. 

Katellig  seems to slouch under the weight of the touch, and Navi wonders if the man truly is worth the burden. Ah, well. If Katellig wasn’t ready to become the second family disappointment, it wasn’t her business.

She waits for the door to close before quietly sneaking outside the bathroom and wraps her arms around Katellig’s waist, pulling her close enough to rub their cheeks together with a pur. 

Once Katellig feels more relaxed against her, Navi’s teasing nature take over. 

“So, Stormchaser?” She asks, grinning against Katellig’s neck.

She could swear she feels the woman’s pulse quicken and her skin grow warm against her at that. 

“You don’t have to keep it. I just… improvised.” The marine mutters, her thumb gently rubbing circles against Navi’s wrist. 

“I like it.” 

“Don’t lie.”

“When did I ever lie to ya? Don’t answer it.” Navi quickly added, “I mean it though.  I like it, Songbird.” 

“...Good.”

“Make sure to gasp it aloud whenever we cross paths, to help it sticks-”

“Don’t push it.”

Navi snorts as she gets elbowed in the stomach. Feeling light hearted, she easily picks up the other woman and dramatically swirls with her, ignoring her protest. 

“Seems like the big bad Storm caught herself a poor little bird, hmm?” She teases, carrying her back to bed. 

“You’re gonna be insufferable about it, aren’t you?” Katellig grumbles, gently slapping her shoulder, “beside, who is a poor little bird?”

Navi gives her a playful wink before dropping her onto the mattress inelegantly. 

“Ain’t ya? Ya certainly now how to sing when we-”

She gets cut short by Katellig’s arms around her neck, pulling her into a kiss. Right; action now, words later. 

Just how she liked it to be. 

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Sometimes I see those posts from art accounts that have like really put together, only art posts and I feel tempted to delete all personal posts off my blog

And this thought today led me down a long thought path. Which was primarily, I don't....particularly like my personal vent posts on here. I mean they're not there to be liked, they're there to help me process things but... I also don't like to look back on them.

I mean writing on here is meant to be like a journal right? Journals are there to help through the act of writing, not the end result, though the end result can be helpful in a self reflective sense occasionally but for the most part it's about the process.

And then I realised... I've had one of the worst times of my life lately, and not once did venting or the thought of venting do anything to help it. For a lot of reasons, because I... couldn't voice it, because it would be another thing to obsess over, because I can't be as honest and true and personal as I would be in a literal journal because... I'm still posting things on the internet. And yeah it's Tumblr, it's a black hole, but it's still strangers on the internet reading my thoughts so.... I can't go too deep.

I've hit this point where I was trying to... go halfway, like keep it as this fun cutesy blog but then have some halfway personal venting posts. In the end, I just feel kind of dissatisfied because I'm not being fully honest, or if I am it feels so out of place with everything else.

And yeah it's a Tumblr blog it's not meant to be that serious, that helps, I like thinking of Tumblr like a commonplace notebook I keep just online. But.... the halfway personal/vent things, they feel disingenuous and out of place because they're... so unfinished, so calculated. Forced sometimes. There's this pressure I feel on myself, that I'm putting on myself. That pressure gets stronger to do the cute or fun posts if I've done a vent post, or to make the vent post.... I don't know, good, palatable, refined. I can't think of the right word but... something not spontaneous and genuine.

I think a lot about why I started this blog... it was ages ago around 2020 and because I had this idea in my head of, I don't know, being this spectacular writer and journalist writing really cool think pieces and changing the world, or at least the people who interact with my blog. Then it just, became like a commonplace notebook and that was fun, some curated posts to sort of fit the vibe I wanted, but personal.

Messy, messy is how it's gotten, and messy is fine in a journal, I might cringe looking back at old journals but there's a little fondness too, it's like meeting my past selves and being able to hold all the memories and emotions. But online is messy because... personal, and I need to be a little guarded, I can't be free, and I guess it sort of messes with when I want to have more light, cheery things on my blog. Or rather, it takes me away from spending time reading, or sewing or drawing and painting or any of the other hobbies I love that I can make cute and fun posts about. It takes me away from the time I want to spend on religion too, on reading Qur'aan and learning and memorising it, listening to and learning from lectures.

This leads into another thought which is... if the venting itself is not free, and it doesn't quite help my mental state, then it's just time wasted on something empty instead of another coping mechanism, one of the hobbies mentioned above, which could help me a lot. I'm realising that it's just an added pressure, and a really unnecessary one that often makes my head spin.

I think overstimulation probably adds to it too, social media scrolling is easy to do in bad moments because you're frozen, so you may as well scroll. It kind of feeds into the worst of it. I've been meaning to take a bit more of a step away from social media anyway, I wouldn't say I'm addicted but I definitely don't like the feeling I get when I'm in a freeze state or I'm tired and I scroll instead of spending time on a hobby.

Honestly I've been thinking a lot about the time I spend on things I enjoy, and it's not that Tumblr isn't a hobby but I preferred how I used it before; a record of all my interests. I liked it when I spent most of my time on my hobbies, and I just realised that it's been a while since I've done that, because poor mental health and extra work and studies... I feel like social media is the equivalent of eating a bag of crisps for dinner instead of a proper meal. Like sometimes you really don't have the energy and capability to do it, to cook something nice for yourself.

But I've learnt I gotta got that extra mile to cook a nice meal for myself ^_^ It gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day, or the beginning, it actually feels fun to do even if it feels like a big task to start, and it is good for me.

So, I wanna cook the meals again. I say I don't have time for things but I think if I added up the five minutes here and there on Tumblr and Instagram, I'd at least get an extra hour to have fun reading or painting or baking or sewing or something.

I guess it's a new mindset shift for me, I'm used to fitting work and studies in into every spare moment I can, that's how I operated for a lot of my life to make sure my academics were prioritised. Now I realise the importance of play and downtime, and I hadn't yet figured out that I need to prioritise it the same way. I'm going to try to now.

And going off of my earlier point, about how Tumblr isn't the same as journalling, well... something I really do miss about journalling is the physicality of it. The sitting with a cup of tea or coffee and writing in cursive in a pretty notebook ^_^ It feels so much more natural, and it's a keepsake, and most of all, private. Obviously I've... always had issues with privacy growing up, a warning my aunt used to give me was hah don't keep a journal in that house, it's probably not private.

That's a fear I still feel, but also... I have sketchbooks and journals and loads of things already and I mean, quite honestly you get to a certain age where no one cares. Not to say I am going to be careless in any way, Insha'Allah, I keep my phone very private anyway, same for my sketchbooks and personal collection boxes, but... I think I should.... give a little. I can give a little, I can give myself outlets. It's true that my current journal/sketchbook is mostly just out anyway and no one bats an eye.

So this brings me a little to the question; well, what is Tumblr for if you have a journal and sketchbook? I think I'll still use it, just not in the same capacity. Tumblr is for art posts, or odd or amusing one liners that pass through my mind everyday XD I actually save funny thoughts just for Tumblr or relatable thoughts. I also kinda want to return to my original thing, or what it was a couple of years ago; making fun cute posts about my interests, essays definitely, fanfic obviously, it doesn't need to be put together it can still be my eclectic digital commonplace notebook, but just... not a faux journal either.

Something I love to see are those moodboards on Tumblr and I've done a few myself but not as an actual.... board. I know there's some apps I can use on the iPad to make collages stuff and that makes me excited, so maybe I could start making posts like that (a la Polyvore, my first social media site, always missed :'))

I guess this might be my last journal-esque post in a while? Okay writing that made my anxiety do a thing (*shushes anxiety creature clinging to my brain*) IT IS NOT A LAST POST OF ANY KIND

But yeah I miss the artsy, literary vibes of curling up with my notebook on a cold day, so that'll be my new habit Insha'Allah. New, old habit. I feel like one thing Tumblr did do is train me to be okay with imperfect and messy, I feel like the reason my journal writing dropped off last time was because I was trying to force it so much. Over the past few years I've gotten so creative and loosened up a lot, so I'm hoping it'll show in my journal. Furthermore, the last time I was writing a journal, I really didn't have much to talk about because I was so 1. closed off and 2. limited in my hobbies and creative practices, I didn't have things to write about, I had just lost horse riding and I was consumed with studies only... I'm hoping there'll be a bigger difference now.

A part of me feels sort of nervous, I... only ever kept a journal during dark periods of my life too. I don't have the best associations to it, and even if I'm going through some rough times now, I don't really consider it a dark time... my anxiety brain is kind of overheating and going "but bad things!" and I know that's not rational. We should always think the best of what Allah has written for us, having good thoughts of Allah and having a more hopeful outlook on life is the best thing to do so I'll try to hold that in my heart more. If I find it's a bit too scary at first, that's fine I can just stick to prioritising my religion and health and hobbies, it'll follow naturally Insha'Allah i just need to not put pressure on myself.

I think I'll probably spend a lot less time online overall, just because I want to spend that time on all my other interests, not to mention I want to actually put time into making a proper online presence for myself as an artist.

Right now I wanna lie down and read for a chunk of time :D so I'll do that

[frostwing213]

My Eyes of Cats OC

So... I really love @sm-baby 's The Eyes of Cats thing. So I made my own OC

Meet Velia

I can't draw for the life of me, so Gacha Club is a life saver. (And Picrews, but I couldn't get them to look quite right for her.)

However, I am a writer, so I wrote a little thing for her under the cut

I was pretty young when the aliens showed up. I was only twelve. Sure, I was 12 and already spying on other powerful families for my parents, but I was only twelve. When the aliens showed up, I was able to stick it out for a bit, trying to watch them, figure them out, figure out how to take them down. I was under her parents guidance at first, but Mother disappeared, probably taken by an alien, and father died from some bad food. After that, I was on my own. I survived. Got a little thinner, green eyes a little duller, got a bit paler, but I was alive, and that's what really mattered. That's what still matters now. About eight years ago, when I was twenty, things got bad. I was sick, and wasn't as careful around the aliens. One of the more hostile ones found me. I got pretty hurt. My stuff got stolen too, I was too hurt, too sick, to defend myself. I was fucked. I was out of it long enough you could see the white hair that always grew in front grow back in after the last time I dyed it. Maybe that was what saved me, those little strips of white hair. I barely remember that day, I think I was dying. I was only half awake, and had only been brought to full conciseness by a voice of one of those aliens. It was looming over me, and I panicked. I used my knife, but it didn’t do anything of course. If humans had weapons that worked against them, things wouldn't be the way they are today. I remember the alien picking me up, cooing softly, trying to minic a human voice. For some reason that calmed me down, I guess she reminded me of my mother in that moment, just enough for the adrenaline to fade, just enough to lull me back into unconsciousness. I remember waking up for a little bit in a room of bight lights and walls, and those towering creatures around me. They jabbed me with something and I was out again. After that, I woke up in an alien home, the one who got me off the streets and apparently got me patched up. I, I don't mind her much now, but it was rough in the beginning. I didn’t, still don't fully, trust her. But she's kind, kinder than others, so I've stopped trying to hide from her as much. But I still attempt to run away, it doesn't work, she got some sort of tracker on me, and this necklace I can't get off. She always finds me when I don't head back for dinner. I'm still trying to figure things out, I'm trying to get their written language, almost got it down, but I can barely understand them. But I'm still trying. I'm doing what I can. I help those on the streets if they let me. I try to sneak into alien workplaces or whatever they are, see what I can figure out. I'm not able to figure out much, but I try. Maybe one day, things will change. Maybe one day, they won't rule us anymore. Maybe one day, I'll figure things out and help change things. Maybe I won't, maybe nothing will change, but I have to keep trying, I can't become like one of those other people, those pets. I can't be that. I have to use what I know. I have to try, even if it kills me.

(Not my best writing, but I needed to get it out of my head)

:)

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 12, day 16

Flick! My boi!!! How I have missed you so 😭

Anyway I was bored at work today so while I was working I also went back through my art posts and I realized two things:

I really miss drawing

I don't actually like where the Flick redesign was going

So! Despite my stylus only having 5% battery and my iPad only having 11% and I only having one charging cable betwixt them, I opted to draw tonight! Because seriously I fucking missed it, oh my god no wonder my brain has been chewing on itself lately who am I if I'm not drawing holy fuck

*ahem*

So anyway the first two sketches were me trying to knock off a bit of the rust that's built up by trying to recreate Flicks two poses and hopefully recapture some of the attitude that got lost/muddied as I worked on the redesign. The second two sketches were my attempts to find more of his attitude. I don't think the superhero landing pose works for him, like, at all, but I might be on to something with the last sketch there. Just need to find a good pose reference for going spinny while dual wielding swords! Pretty sure I know where to get one of those :D

But yeah my stylus died and I can't charge it yet bc my iPad is still only at 35% (he is old and decrepit and his batteries take awhile to charge), so even though I have time to do a quick bit of 3D work, I think instead I'm gonna go stare at a blank page in a WIP document until words fall out. Or until bedtime, either/or. Because I've also missed writing and that drabble on Sunday merely whetted my appetite, it did nothing to sate it and I want this damn writer's block off my chest!!!

[digital-chance]

steve rogers - a brief (nonsensical) character study/analysis

so i rewatched all the mcu movies with steve roger in them using this lovely youtube video. spoilers for the entire things! consider this your warning.

here's my takeaways in no particular order:

he still wears the same clothing style he wore pre-ice. often button ups, work boots, plain denim jeans, sometimes a leather jacket (often brown). later on in the mcu he started wearing plaid flannels which is funny to me because he does not give a SHIT about modern fashion. give him his old man clothes please and ty. adorable.

marvel did not give the man much character development. they said he's going to go through war and hell and death and fuckery of emotions. sure he's going to learn how to move on but that's off screen and don't really expect much change fuckers. this fucking pisses me off if you can't tell. he's such a long-time character with so many areas where he could be developed and marvel just said fuck that he's an "old man and a soldier with some funny moments" and that's all you're getting.

also he had 5 minutes MAX of screentime in infinity wars :(((( fucking hate that give my man justice

he's so funny????? and so fucking sassy???? like how did I not know this???? love the guy

he broods a ton when he's sad and cracks jokes to cheer others up when they're sad. very sweet but I feel like that marvel could have expanded on this in some way.

he's also very acrobatic which is somehow surprising to me but also at the same time it makes sense??? idk man but you do your flips bbg

also love the way they planned his fights. they really use his full body. reminds me of old greek and roman statues with the flexing muscles. (those are my favorites statues if you can't tell) it's satisfying to watch and I want to draw it or make a statue of him now tyvm.

in endgame tony started talking about his ass which sparked an entertaining side tangent. like you really didn't need to???? but I'll take it. i forgot that steve called HIS OWN ass the "ass of America." I was in and still am in shock from this whole situation.

when he met his other self (or smth I don't remember) in endgame one of the last things he said to other steve was "bucky is alive" (see points below). interesting how seeing the compass with peggy didn't phase other steve much.... also that fight is fucking ridiculous 1000/10

he says so much romantic/gay shit about bucky??? like "even when I had nothing I had bucky." very angsty and homoerotic I love it

the ending with peggy and him being old is plotted so shittily. literal garbage. i wouldn't have minded him being with peggy at all (love her sm btw don't mistake this for me hating her) if they had done it right and given cap a plausible reason and justification for him staying. sure, he misses her. sure, visiting her. but wouldn't staying with her fuck up everything??? literally everything????? like the avengers wouldn't exist everything????????? FUCK that ending.

not exactly fully cap/steve but chris evan's shoulder to waist ratio is absolutely delectable. love that they highlight that with the suits designs.

also what the fuck was infinity wars when he had a fucking beard and longer hair??? loved it but it kind of came out of left field. plus he looked a little silly fighting with the long hair bc it kept getting in his face. you would've thought that he would wear a helmet during that fight but Not Today ig...

last point I promise. but the romance with sharon carter (i forgot her name but i think that's it) was GROSS. whats her face is peggy's GRANDDAUGHTER. so now that he's too old for peggy he had to go for her granddaughter?????? YUCK. especially so because he went to peggy ANYWAYS in the mcu. to the comic writers and marvel: stop. that's fucking gross and quite honestly unneeded.

kind of a serious man with some unexpected twists, like the humor. and that was just the MOVIES. fucking hate some parts of the comics. (why are there so many universes ughhhhh) love steve though what an interesting fellow. might add on more thoughts later if i remember/want to.

[gorgeousundertow]

get to know fic writer ask :D 8, 13, 14, 20, 27, and 58

Wheeeee <3 <3 <3

8. Do you prefer writing the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

Middle, usually. Beginnings are fun, I'm reasonably good at beginnings, because by the time I'm starting to write I've done a fair bit of work planning it out and I'm excited to get to it. Endings are fine, I feel like I do a reasonably good job of tying things off neatly. But MIDDLES. Middles are where the meat is, where the sauce is. It's the part where you get to play.

13. What's a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Planning. I didn't used to do this, but I do now, and it serves me So Goddamn Well. I sit with a fic before I start to write it, and I map out just about everything that has to happen in it, beat for beat, all the way until the end. I'll usually get snippet ideas while that happens, and I'll write those down, too, until I have a document that's several thousand words long and I haven't even technically started drafting it yet. I feel like it's made my writing SO MUCH STRONGER.

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you draw from what the characters feel, or personal experience?

I mean. I don't have a lot of personal experience of what it's like to be, say for instance, a gay ww2 soldier. But I try really hard to get myself into the mindset of what this character would be feeling and experiencing, and how they would respond-which is often not at all how I would respond. I tend to write characters who don't say much about how they feel, or even really recognize their own emotions, necessarily, and I'm more likely to tell people in Great Detail what I'm feeling. There's something so challenging and exquisite about writing emotion without using emotional words.

Like, okay. Here's a scene from Serpentine, and Brad and Nate are thinking ya know, might die today.

They didn’t hug. Nate stuck out his hand and Brad gripped it, the clasp firm and long. They didn’t say “Be safe,” or “Semper Fi,” or “Stay frosty,” or any of the other things each of them had said over and over again to other men. They didn’t say anything at all. But they shook hands, and Nate’s fingers were long and oddly graceful beneath the ever-present dirt, his grip strong and steady. Brad thought that he could probably feel Nate’s heartbeat in his palm, and that it, too, would be strong and steady—and he held tight and he looked into those green eyes and he didn’t say anything out loud but he thought Nate probably heard anyway. Eventually they let go. 

Brad is not a guy who is going to allow himself even to think things like "I'm scared" "What if he dies" etc. So it's about a handshake, but it's also about that.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words, themes, etc.?

Well, I sure am drawn to writing guys who can't express themselves! And I swear a lot. And it's definitely spelled come, not cum.

27. Most and Least favorite parts of writing?

I looooove writing dialogue. LOVE IT. In some other universe, I'm a screenwriter and I never have to deal with scene-setting. I HATE tracking timelines and consistency, and I know I need to slow down and set the scene better sometimes/

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy most? brainstorming, outlining, drafting, editing.

Lol it's definitely not editing! I think I probably enjoy brainstorming the most, because that's when I'm on fire with it. Outlining can be exhausting. Probably drafting comes second? I enjoy the process of writing, the hunt for an elegant sentence.

[nehswritesstuffs]

I really enjoy your TTOU AU. I’m curious if you’re going to continue writing chapters for it. Thanks for your awesome writing!!! 😊

*side-eyes people in my DMs*

Here's the short answer: I plan on it, but cannot give an estimated start date since other varying things are taking priority. In the meantime, know I love you and your support, Greyscale, as it keeps me going.

Long answer under the cut.

The thing about The Thick of UNIT is this: it's very long and very convoluted. At this juncture I need to do a complete read-through, probably do some slight editing to what's already up, take a long look at what I have planned, and then edit that to hell and back as I tighten the story and get it on track again. The main things keeping me from doing this are:

Size: We're talking 225k words thus far by AO3's estimation. That's a lot to go through! And that's just the main story! It's 283.5k words with all the extras!

Time: There's only so much spare time I have available to write, let alone edit this monster.

Writing Resources: This is something a lot of fic writers understand, I think, because it's about what ideas are flowing and when. You have to go where there is flow, or else things will be bad.

My Editor: He's still not done and is even more scattered than me when it comes to this, if you'll believe, and since he and I don't control what the other does...

Real Life: I've been job hunting for a year (exactly; I was let go a year ago today) and I'm engaged, so I've been trying to get house-hunting and wedding planning off the ground (there's a lot of barriers here I won't go into). Plus there's a bunch of normal things that I'd do anyhow involving family and friend groups that take up time. energy, and resources. And I'm a tante now?! Tantes are cool.

Indifference: Now this is admittedly a weird one that deserves explaining. I still love The Thick of UNIT, as well as the parent shows Doctor Who and The Thick of It! They all still hold a special place in my heart. It's just... well... I average single-digit notes on here. I don't have enough reviews on FFN for there to be one per chapter. Most of my comments on AO3 are conversations. Although I'll be one of the first to say that you need to write fic for yourself and don't worry about an audience, I will also admit that it's very difficult to put into practice. I hit a big ol' wall of burnout with TTOU, which is something that can happen to anyone about anything, even stuff they love, and I'm trying to get over that and the indifference it causes. also everything that i've seen of DW post-Twelve is just irritating and i feel so fucking bad for Gatwa and none of that helps any

So... yeah... the double-edged sword with longfics is that they are a lot of time and energy, which I unfortunately do not have a lot of to spare. "But what about those other fics I see you posting?" That's where all my writing resources go, because the ideas are flowing there. It's probably weird to think about since I was almost exclusively writing fic for Doctor Who and The Thick of It for nine years, but what I've been able to churn out lately hits something completely different, deep down in my soul from before I even knew what Doctor Who was, before The Thick of It first aired, and a lot of it is a bit existential in its own way.

"But what am I going to do in the meantime?!" Feel free to check out my bookmarks on AO3, which has a lot of TTOU fic (including some by the lovely @fajrbismuth, whose tumblr url is yes from the fic). That not enough? Maybe, idk, create something of your own. Write some fic, draw art, create a moodboard, do something that channels your love for it. and maybe if you make sure i see it, i can reblog it for everyone here to see. Hell, I don't even care if you do your own Malcolm/Kate stories independent of TTOU. I can't stop you.

Thank you, though, for all your love and support over the past, what eight years of this. It's humbling when I get to see how much people love my writing and it really does make it worth it in the end.

[sanversandfriends]

From high stakes Survivor contests to White Martian imposters, @brinshannara has been weaving epic Sanvers tales since we first fell in love with Alex and Maggie on our screens. Today she's here to talk about the importance of having a good beta reader, as well as finding the equilibrium between self-doubt and trusting your voice.

Tell us a little about yourself. How did you get started writing fic? Have you written for other fandoms? What are your favorite tropes?

I first started writing fic when I was but a wee lass of 17 or so. I was, in a word, awful. I was absolutely obsessed with Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher (and still am -- they are my first OTP). I've dabbled in the Buffy fandom (Willow/Tara, obviously), the BAM fandom (Bianca and Maggie from All My Children), the Otalia fandom (Olivia and Natalia from Guiding Light), but nothing ever quite struck me the way Sanvers did, so it is BY FAR my most prolific fandom. Favourite tropes really have to do with panicked baby gays or people who develop Those Feelings for their friends. Also, I adore "There Was Only One Bed" and "Fake Dating".

What were your inspirations for this particular story? What was it about this/these ships that grabbed you?

This story is a sequel I always wanted to write and ran out of time to do -- and I'm still struggling with it. I love the concept. I know what happens. It's just so rough to write it all out! Can't I just THINK about it and have it write itself??? But yeah, I love Survivor, I love Sanvers, so the first story kind of wrote itself. This one is not even slightly cooperating. What was it about this ship? I mean, it's SANVERS. Need I really say more? haha

Has the time spent away from your story changed your outlook or approach to any of the storylines or themes? Have you had any new inspirations or breakthroughs/revelations in the meantime? 

Somewhat, in that I've watched a fair amount of Survivor since I first stopped writing this story and so that's always helpful, to see how others play the game, what challenges I can draw on, etc. I've also had a chance to review my spreadsheets for things and made a couple of edits that I'm happy with. Theoretically, that should allow me to write more due to those edits.

Any advice for new or aspiring fic writers?

- Keep working at it. If it's your first time writing in a long while, like since high school or college, chances are it'll be rough. That's okay. First, all things can be edited and second, nothing is set in stone.

- Find a kind beta reader who will ask you what you want them to focus on: plot? character development? grammar and spelling? All of the above? And if you feel strongly about a suggested change, ask yourself why you feel strongly: is it because someone is challenging you on something you wrote or is it because you really feel you have a case? It can be really helpful to discuss things with others, particularly if you feel strongly about them.

- Try to emulate (not copy!!! Emulate!) styles that you like. Watch where paragraph breaks are used. Understand how to use commas and double quotes. Try to understand why your favourite authors do X, Y or Z. Heck, ask them if you like! Just be polite. :)

If you were going to promote this fic with a single line, what would it be? 

Sanvers: Blood vs. Water: Will Margarita Sawyer-Danvers beat her wife, Alex, at Survivor again or will Alex even the score this time around?

If you’ve already posted some of your work, please provide a link. 

[bardic-tales]

Tumblr Games: Get to know the writer

Thanks so much for tagging me, @lexiklecksi and @blind-the-winds. I loved how fun this was.

Three fun facts about me:

I like pineapple and ham on my pizza. Growing up, we've never had this as a family. It was also green peppers, black olives, and green olives. I first tried this my first night in college.

I prefer the mountains over the beach. Heat will often trigger my migraines, and they do not go away until days or a week later. The beach is just an unpleasant experience for me.

My first concert was 98 degrees. I bought a ticket for myself and my sister as soon as they went on sale, but my sister backed out the week before. I took my friend instead.

Favorite season: My favorite season is fall. I love the crisp air, the pumpkin spice lattes, and sweater weather. This is followed by winter and spring. I hate summer as there are bees and humid weather.

Continent where I live: I live on the North American continent. To be specific, the United States. I often write about Europe.

How I spend my free time: This was tricky for me. There are a lot of ways that I spend my free time, and I tend to hyperfocus on one or two things at a time. My hobbies include drawing, gaming, reading, or learning. I believe it is never too late to hone your trade. I also listen to different genres of music as I'm really eclectic or true crime or urban legend-based podcasts.

Are you published? I self-published two romance novellas in 2017 under my literary double: Lydia Larue. These are called: Undercover Desire and Naked Desire. They can be found on amazon. I learnt much about self-publishing and marketing as I was trying to promote those two novellas.

Currently, I am working on a series of dark fantasy works. My original work typically includes dark epic fantasy with dragons, political intrigue, and, of course, assassins.

Introvert or extrovert? I am very introverted. when I was younger, I was able to fake being an extrovert, but it's exhausting to do that now. I have a few people who I am really comfortable being around, and they understand that I need time to recharge my batteries.

Favourite meal: Lasagna. I was diagnosis with PCOS when I was 26. This means that I can have complex carbohydrates rarely. The last time I had lasagna was for Easter dinner.

Tagging: My spoons are empty today, so instead of tagging via my games tag list, this is an open tag.

Blank Template and picrew link under the read more.

Three fun facts about me:

Favorite season:

Continent where I live

How I spend my free time

Are you published?

Introvert or extrovert?

Favourite meal:

[the-lapis-eyed-raven]

I really didn't know why they accepted my application, but I wasn't going to shoot myself in the food. The job paid well, had excellent benefits, and provided food, so I went for it. The interview process was a bunch of yes and no questions. They said I could do anything in between the calls; write, read, draw.... just be sure to answer the phone.

I spent the first weeks fixing an old typewriter up. The calls were benign, average. My answer was usually yes, and I'd wait for them to hang up before I went back to my free time project.

The type writer became my permanent fixture as I began to use it to work on a book. Tappings and chings stopping long enough to answer the phone. The questions began to get more complex, but I only used the yes or no as I had been instructed. This job was too cushy to let my curiosity or confusion get to me.

As the months went by, I finished the book, started another, picked up a laptop, and started to learn a coding language. The questions began to get morally concerning, but if I wasn't given any context, I didn't ask for it. I answered the question yes or no and continued.

After a year, my employers stopped by. They noticed the various hobbies I had picked up for my free time. They asked me about how I was doing, and I was honest, letting them know I was fine, even having picked up online gaming between calls.

They seemed impressed that I had been able to follow the instructions for a year. They reminded me of my job and left just before the next call came.

This call floored me. My answer was no, but it came out in a gasp. When the caller asked if I was fine, I said yes. They eventually hung up, and I opened my laptop to begin gaming. The phone rang again. The question was haunting, I answered no in a raspy voice and they hung up.

I tried to game, but the phone kept ringing with questions that would give most nightmares. I keep answering no. After a few hours, I just close my laptop and carry the phone to a corner.

The ring makes me just, but I pick the phone up, dreading the question.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes." This question took me off guard, the voice was gentle and different than that of the other questions.

"Are you afraid of the other?"

"Yes," my voice shakes, as does my body.

"Do you want out of this job?"

I hesitate at this question. It paid well, I've had the best health benefits in the last year, and I've been able to do many things I hadn't been able to previously. After a while, I gave my answer in a whisper. "Yes."

The gentle voice tells me to pack all my things and they'll be here soon. I am glad the heaviest thing I have here is my typewriter. I put it in it's case and pack my laptop and other things in my backpack.

The knock at the door startles me. I open the door, unsure if I was expecting death or rescue. The genle voice speaks from the stranger's mouth. "Hello. Let's get you out before someone spots me."

With that, my things and I are taken away. The gentle voice is a woman with brunette hair and emerald eyes. Her pale skin is cold to the touch.

"That phone is usually used to find food. Typically most humans have broken one of the job rules within a couple months, which causes them to be the next on the menu. The questions you've been getting lately... well, they're darker as the voices, well the owners of those voices are wanting to completely wipe out the human race. You answering no to today's questions have, in short, pissed them off." She talked as she drived. "I need to get you on a plane so they can't track you down."

Y'all take over as I lost steam.

“Your job is to sit in this room and answer this phone. No matter what you are asked or told, no matter what the voice sounds like, respond only with ‘yes’ or 'no’, whatever feels right. And never, ever say your name. Hang up only after it does.”

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

At this point, whenever I see an artist or writer obsessed with rules on social media I unfollow. Yeah I'm one of those fools that thinks that you don't have to read a lot or learn every important art rule to be a good artist. Cause once upon a time people didn't have the resources we have today. Not all big writers had access to a lot of books and still wrote good stories. And not all big artists had access to art teaching material to learn things like colour theory and body physics. They learnt by observation and imitating everything around them until they became good at drawing the things they wished. Plus art doesn't have one way to do it. There are people preferring to draw realistic stuff and others who just like mixing shapes or throwing various colors on a canvas until sth works for their eyes. So yeah shaming those who don't follow the rules or who can't learn the rules first and then break them are silly in my eyes. And if that makes me a bad artist and a fool, I'd rather die like that.

"You just refuse to learn". Say that to my brain bitch. Cause since I started dealing with photomanips in 2015, I tried learning the color theory 3 times and I was forced to do it at one lesson at uni too. I forgot it every single time. Within a month. That's why I went back to relearning. It never stuck with me. I just mix colors that fit my eyes best and that's it. "Maybe that's why your art doesn't stand out". I guess. And I don't care anymore.

As for writing, one of my strongest points is dialogue. I don't read books they bore me. I am sorry. I read a lot as a kid but after a while I just couldn't. I learn storytelling from movies, songs, other forms of storytelling and caus of that, my descriptions are still weak, but since there is sth I am doing well, I can say I pretty much don't need to read a lot. I tried so many times to get back to reading cause 90% of the writing community in here shamed those who didn't read and I failed every time.

I am tired of having to follow or learn the rules to be considered good enough for anything. So yeah, if you come to me with that bullshit, I'm unfollowing cause obviously are values are too different to find a middle ground. You do you and I do me. *shrugs*

[tia-amorosa]

Keon & Javier (Part 6)

One of the rules here on Caracan is that when a new castaway lands on this island, you should report it to the mayor and administrator, Mr. Sparks. He then ensures that the new inhabitant is allocated a house and a few other things to get him started. But that will probably not be necessary. Nevertheless, you should at least introduce yourself and register. "This is the library, he's doing an inventory today".

In the library, Mr. Sparks was sorting through some of the books that had been brought in by the island's writers. He also had to put some of them back in their proper place. "Mr. Sparks, we have a new resident on the island." Michael Sparks is the oldest resident here and it had been decided that he should be the administrator and mayor of the island. He knows everyone. The old man looked over Javier's shoulder. "I see, a little exotic. Does he speak our language?"/ "Just ask him yourself"…

"Hel-lo, my name is Mi-cha-el, can you un-der-stand me?". While Mr. Sparks tries to make contact with the exotic-looking man, Javier visibly has to stifle his laughter. After all, it's not every day that you meet someone whose skin color is even darker than Mr. Donovan's. "I understand you very well, Michael, I'm pleased to meet you, my name is Keon"/ "oh!?".

"Excuse me, but… you remind me a bit of those wild ones from the jungle, please don't take that as an insult"/ "I'm not offended, hehe, you just wanted to test me, I understand that."/ "Haha, yes, but even if we didn't speak the same language, we would certainly have found another way to communicate. Well, how did you end up here and where did you come from?". Of course, these questions had to be asked and Keon had already prepared some answers for them.

Mr. Sparks' wife, Vinetta, was also here to give her husband a helping hand with sorting the books. "Javier, you haven't been around for a while, how are you?"/ "Yes, that's right, and we don't live very far apart. I've been very busy with my work"/ "When will we see something new from you?"/ "Soon, I'm sure".

A little later. Of course, Keon couldn't tell Michael the whole truth about himself. That's why he had deliberately left out the werewolf thing. He told him that he had lost his family in a fire. And he wanted to draw a line under the current stage of his life and discover something new. But then he was caught up in an unexpected storm that threw him off the boat. "These waters here are very treacherous and the weather is also unpredictable".

"So you also come from a somewhat remote part of these oceans? I am very sorry for what your family has had to endure. We landed here unintentionally 15 years ago. We can't even manage to build a big ship, because most of the wood has been used for the houses. We try to make the best of it here. Have you been told about the rules here?"…

"Yes, Javier explained the rules to me and… The circumstances are completely different here, I'm aware of that. The most difficult thing for me is probably the change in diet"/ "Unfortunately, everyone has had to get used to that. We really appreciate a good roast, but the game here doesn't reproduce as quickly as in other regions of the world. There are no green forests and lush meadows here, at least not huge areas. Have you learned a trade, Keon?".

"No real profession, but I'm very skilled and talented in many things. You can use me wherever you want"/ "hm, people are always needed in the sawmill. I'm sure I'll think of something else. And of course we'd also like to build you a house…"/ "No!"/ "No? Wouldn't you like to have something of your own?"/ "Javier and I, we share … Some things in common, he offered me the chance to live in his house and I agreed".

The old lady listened with one ear to the other during her conversation with Javier. She has known Javier since he was a little boy. She practically helped raise him and knows him better than anyone else here. And so she whispered quietly so that no one would hear. "That's a very attractive man, Javier". But he just kept quiet, smiled and nodded in agreement.

After the conversation with Mr. Sparks was over, Keon went back to Javier. "So, were you able to sort a few things out?"/ "Yes, he says I can stay with you. And he also wants me to help with some of the work here. He's still looking for a suitable job for me"/ "All right. This is his wife, by the way, she's my adoptive mother"/ "oh, hello"/ "hnhn, hello. Go outside, you two, it's good weather today".

Mr. and Mrs. Weiss also seem to have a request to see the mayor today, or they just want to visit the library. "Hey, have you seen? Someone new has arrived here"/ "Is there a dog around here? I'm allergic to dog hair…" / "No, we don't actually have any dogs on the island" / "Yes, Marie has one, but she never takes it into public buildings".

Back outside, the two of them talked again about the conversation with Mr. Sparks. "That went quite well for now, didn't it?"/ "Yes, even if I don't really like lying to other people"/ "I'm afraid you have to do that here. Or do you want the others to go into complete panic mode when they find out what you are? I know how self-confident you are and I like that about you"/"With you, I can be who I am. And for the others, I'm… a somewhat shy wild boy, hehe.". Javier had to laugh and would have liked to hug Keon tightly, but they held back for the time being. "Come on, I'll show you where we get our food from now."

Javier took Keon to the market room, where the inhabitants of the island offered their home-grown fruit and vegetables for sale and barter. But this was a little overwhelming for him and his inner wolf. The smells of the many different types of fruit and vegetables mingling together didn't exactly please his nose. "You're right… You can only become a vegetarian here, no meat? Not even a tiny sausage?".

"I told you, everything is a bit different here. You can get fish without end, but sausage and other meat is only available here on special days. As far as I know, the hunter has shot another deer, so there'll probably be something to celebrate or talk about soon."/ "rrmm"/ "I know. Calm down. hey, we'll work it out, okay?". Keon wrinkled his nose. "hh. First I have to get out of here, otherwise it'll rip my sinuses apart"

One thing was clear: the small main square would definitely not be Keon's favorite place, at least not the market area. Far too many smells, bundled close together, his sensitive sense of smell couldn't cope with that. That's why Javier took him to a place where almost everyone likes to stop by. "This place smells of sweat and exertion, hehe, I might like that".

The idea of setting up a small gym on the island was born a long time ago. The men in particular complained about the lack of opportunities to really work out physically. And so a few of these opportunities were created to make this possible. "haha, you're not torturing yourself like that because of me, are you?"/ "I need… A few more muscles, fff, for you it's easy, there's an animal inside you".

Keon likes this place. In his old home, he used to train in the open air. Together with the others. And so he remembers his brothers and other family members with whom he used to wrestle and train. A brief wistful moment, which he then suppressed and decided for himself to come here more often.

What was a lot of effort for Javier was really easy for Keon. After training together, they enjoyed cooling off in the large pond. "You built it all yourselves?"/ "Yes, I took part too. The women wanted the pond"/ "hehe. You have to show me all the women"

Enjoying a bit of light-heartedness together. That was a great feeling for both of them. Even if Keon can't put the loss of his family to the back of his mind so quickly, he has found someone who understands him and doesn't seem to be afraid of him. But what will it be like the next time he transforms?

That same evening, Javier made sure that Keon had a proper meal. Raw meat, because that was what he craved the most, especially his second self. "We should do this every evening, shouldn't we?"/ "Sure… But I can't tell you how long the animal in me will be satisfied with fish."/ "It's a big challenge now…"/ "Yes." Keon looked out to sea and listened to himself. ("This can't go on for long. I hope that one day I can lead a life without you")

Now we leave Javier and Keon for the time being and see how the other inhabitants of this island are doing and how they are coping with their lives. The story will take its course…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

End of Part 6

[monster-fricker]

Chapter 9: The Nameless Little Orc Boy

Male Orc (He/Him pronouns) x Female Human Reader (She/Her pronouns) - SFW

- This is an emotional chapter, but don't worry- I resolve angst quickly because I am too sensitive to make my characters sad for every long. The 10th chapter will be out later today. -

The weeks hurried along in a hectic fog. Oluan was busy most days, making final preparations for the tour and calling this person or that person for various business dealings. You did not understand most of the logistics, nor did you want to. Oluan's stress was so palpable that you were beginning to feel it second-hand. You thanked your lack of motivation for never making you a writer.

With the frenzied nature of it all, you almost forgot to worry over meeting his family. Almost.

After listening to your spiel of "You can't just surprise me with something like that!" and "If you try that move again, I swear I will jump on the moving car!"- which Oluan called an overreaction, for some unknown reason- he described his family, although vaguely. You would only be introduced to his mother, father, and grandmother. He was an only child and any extended family had settled in different areas of the country, all too far away to make a visit.

Oluan spoke of them affectionately, especially his grandmother, who he attributed his love of writing to, an interest he had at a very young age.

"She would often tell me bedtime stories," he said, "My parents worked a lot to pay the bills, so she looked after me most of the time. I would beg her to tell me the stories, one after another, and she never told me no. I probably never went to bed at a decent hour." He chuckled, eyes glossed over in dreamy nostalgia. "Anyway, she hated repeating herself, said it wasn't conducive to a young mind. So she started writing stories of her own."

"That's so sweet," you murmured. You imagined Oluan tucked into bed, just a little orc boy, excitedly awaiting a new tale to get lost in, his grandmother just as excited to share the fictional worlds she had brought to fruition. It was a beautiful picture, one worth keeping, and he had kept it throughout his entire life.

"The pictures she tried to draw left something to be desired," he laughed, still lost in the memory, "but the plots, the characters... she was a far better writer than I'll ever be." Oluan's voice was bursting with admiration. You were struck with an urge to have him retell the stories, to regale you with the same wonderful adventures that were so ingrained in who we was. "Anyway, she decided that she wanted me to come up with my own bedtime stories and read them to her instead."

"She sounds delightful," you hummed, lost in your own visions, "I bet she is proud of you."

That seemed to have awoken Oluan from reminiscing. He shrugged, an attempt at appearing casual, but his smile evaporated. "I hope so."

He changed the subject to his parents, saying they were "sweet and loving people, hard workers, kind of traditionally orc." You wanted to ask more, but he abruptly ended the conversation, citing needing to sleep as the reason. It was a half-truth, though you wouldn't call him on it, and you didn't bring it up again.

The next party went much like the first. It was an entirely different crowd of people with a few familiar faces sprinkled in, Rasdane being the most notable (and least annoying). The two of you made small talk, devoured minutely portioned food, and went back to Oulan's house. You were beyond grateful to be away from it all and alone with him. He was visibly grateful too, flopping his large body onto the couch and melting into it, gesturing for you to do the same.

"We really need to start eating pizza before we go to one of those things," you remarked, nuzzling your head into his chest.

He snorted, gently playing with your hair. "You know, there are a lot of things I find sexy about you, but the fact that your appetite matches mine and you aren't shy about it... that's definitely in the top ten."

"A girl's gotta eat and rich people don't know how to eat properly."

"Mm, and what do you recommend for the next party Rasdane throws on my behalf?"

"Buffalo wings and pizza and, uh, maybe steak."

"You want us to carry trays of steak around?" He roared in amusement.

"I don't see why you're laughing. I'm a genius."

"Yes, you're right. A genius." He giggled, adding, "Fuck it. Let's make a frozen pizza. I have a few left, I think."

As he headed to the kitchen, you called out, "Make two!" You could hear Oluan roar again and you cuddled further into the couch.

Two pizzas was a fantastic idea. You were a genius after all. When both of your appetites were satisfied, Oluan needing to take off his belt to make room for the amount of cheese and bread in his stomach, he led you to the bedroom, and he passed out within minutes of hitting the bed. If you had not protested, he would have slept in his suit.

You, however, couldn't sleep. Perhaps it was leftover adrenaline from the night's events or your persistent ruminations regarding Oluan, but you tossed and turned, eventually giving up and heading downstairs as to not wake him. You inspected the orc weapons in the living room. They were not overly ornate, designed for function rather than show, some of the handles wrapped in leather straps, slightly discolored and unquestionably used. You dreamt of what battles they had seen, what hands had touched them, how much those hands had resembled Oluan's. It did not frighten you. You were fascinated.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a book on his desk. It was his book, the one to be released. The spine was already creased and worn, a few pages folded at the corners. You wondered how many nights he spent reading and re-reading it, likely criticizing his own work. Without thinking you picked it up and flipped through the pages. Before you knew it, you were sprawled on the sofa, swept away in the story.

It was about a little orc boy who had been separated from his clan, desperately trying to find them, to find his way home. He could not remember his name. Each chapter, he had aged more, but he never stopped his search. The closer the novel came to ending, the faster your heart beat, the more it ached. You ached for a happy ending, for the boy- an elderly man now- to be reunited with his loved ones. He never did. The man grew ill and fell to the dry earth, still determined to remember his name. When he finally realized what it was, he died, and it was never revealed to the reader. A nameless body in a nameless place.

You wept for that little orc boy. Your tears fell upon the last page, fat droplets bleeding through.

In those early morning hours, you returned the book to the desk and crept into bed, holding Oluan tighter than you thought yourself capable. You silently cried until sleep found you and you did not mention the book when you woke. Just showered him in hugs, in soft kisses, in praise. In love, though that word remained unspoken and nameless.

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[thevindicativevordan]

Anonymous asked:

thoughts on dawn of dc: cyborg?

Three new major announcements today, plus a tease that DC may or may not have intended for us to find.

In additon to the previously announced Batman: The Brave & The Bold and Shazam books, today we got creative team reveals for Green Lantern, Cyborg, and the announcement of a new Titans book.

Green Lantern - Instead of the previously announced Mariko Tamaki, Jeremy Adams will now be writing Hal's adventures, with Xermancio on art. Adams previously worked on the Green Lantern: The Animated Series cartoon where he wrote the scripts for the Blue Lantern episodes. If memory serves those are well regarded, and the solicit for the series sounds interesting: Hal and all of Sector 2814 are placed under quarantine, he's trapped on Earth and has to rebuild his Terran life while also hunting down Sinestro who is trapped on Earth too. Still eager to see more lower stakes stories and more focus on Hal's human friends and foes, hopefully Adams will deliver that alongside Sinestro shenanigans. If nothing else the art will be fantastic, I loved Xermancio's work on the Blackstars mini with Morrison, can't wait to see him draw Hal as a GL. PKJ is writing some backups here which I assume will function as "issue 0" to the upcoming John Stewart series which he reconfirmed is still happening.

Cyborg - Writer Morgan Hampton in their first Big 2 gig and veteran artist Tom Raney are the creators handling Vic's new mini. No "am I a man or a machine?" bullshit in the solicit, if anything it sounds like we'll get to see Victor be treated as Victor rather than having people ostracize him as a freak. His new design is easily his best since the DCYou era, and Cyborg going cyberpunk is a no-brainer. Cautiously optimistic on this one.

Titans - Tom Taylor writing, Nicola Scott on art. Probably the least surprising announcement even though it wasn't announced beforehand. Won't be reading since I don't care about the Titans nor do I have any desire to read another Taylor series at this point, but hopefully Taylor writing the Titans does indeed mean he is exiting the Superman side of DC. Writing the team DC is advertising as the JL's replacements would likely demand a great deal of attention to him, requiring he relinquish Jon.

Of course that assumes DC really is committing to the Titans being the new premiere team, while the JL is gone for a while, which I'm sorry to tell you folks:

Was never going to happen. AIPT brightened the image and found a tease for the JL's return included. Guess that means the Titans will be the "premiere team" for a grand total of... 7 months? Which equals out to a single arc in terms of monthly issues. Great show of confidence there DC. Only twist I could see is that it isn't the classic Big 7 lineup JL, instead it's the Future State crew forming a new JL, and they'll be the ones taking guidance from the Titans instead of the other way around as is tradition.

Next two books to get (re)launched are Wonder Woman and a Hawk book (I'm leaning towards Hawkgirl being the lead). For Wonder Woman it seems the Cloonrad era will come to an end with issue 800, and a new team will be taking over. Maybe they'll even relaunch her book with a new #1? For writers I want to see Si Spurrier take over, he's said he loves WW and had ideas for her, he's great at writing fantasy and magic, and Diana really needs a hit. Otherwise I could see PKJ or Josie Campbell getting the book. PKJ has one more ongoing to be announced and he wrote the WW Lazarus Planet prelude in We Once Were Gods (besides being a fantasy writer himself). Campbell obviously just finished writing Mary's mini and her past involvement with the She-Ra cartoon would serve her well in writing Diana.

Otherwise it looks like the next event is Knightterrors (could the Batman Who Laughs be involved?) and Brainiac is definitely being set up to be a big player. Likely will be the reason for the JL reforming, as either the catalyst for Clark getting the band back together, or for Jon assembling a new one. I hate Brainiac becoming a JL villain but with the right writer, I would begrudgingly give it a chance.

Any thoughts about the recent Dawn of DC announcements ?

Let's see if the new DC is the same as the old DC.

DC's official press release says that 20 new books are coming, and they only revealed 10 (one of which was last year's Round Robin winner), so 10 more books are coming that have yet to be revealed. Let's take a roll call:

Unstoppable Doom Patrol by Dennis Culver and Chris Burnham - Burnham has me excited, Culver has me skeptical. All of Culver's DC work thus far has been lousy. His Justice League Incarnate book with Williamson was the weakest of the Infinite Frontier trilogy, his Future State Gotham book was really bad, and Doom Patrol is a great team that demands unorthodox writing. Rooting for Culver to surprise me here because God would I love to have a good Doom Patrol book with Way never coming back at this point. Can't believe it took DC this long given the success of the DP HBO Max series. Jane having a new alter that places her in the role of the Chief is a cool idea at least.

Superboy: Man of Tomorrow by Kenny Porter and Jahnoy Lindsay - I voted for this, I'm glad it won, I've enjoyed DC Mech, I expect I will enjoy this. I'm praying Lindsay gives Conner a new costume, it's time to ditch the 90s look for something new. No more looking back for Conner, that terrible Fitzmartin YJ mini was right about one thing: we can't live in the past. He needs a new modern costume, and a story that reestablishes who he is in a post Jon Kent world. This and PKJ Action are seemingly going to accomplish that, both in terms of who Conner is on his own, and who he is in the Superfamily. Given the long wait between when this series was announced as the winner and when it is finally coming out, there shouldn't be any delays at least.

Green Lantern: Hal Jordan by Mariko Tamaki (Artist TBA) - Tamaki is mostly good with a few misses, her Tec, Supergirl: Being Super, and (apparently I haven't read it) Crush & Lobo books were good, her Wonder Woman run not so much. In fairness that was blatant movie synergy and didn't leave her much freedom to work with. I liked her Tec run and this appears to be aiming for something similar. Hal back in Coast City on Earth, rebuilding his life here is exactly the kind of thing they should have done after the Johns era's nonstop cosmic epic. Give me revamps of old Hal Earth villains beyond Hector Hammond that we haven't seen in a while, Hal struggling to make friends with the neighbors the way Tamaki had Bruce do in her Tec run, and put Hal and Carol back together again, and I'll be happy.

Green Lantern John Stewart by PKJ (Artist TBA) - Now this has my attention. Giving PKJ another book means they trust him, giving him a John Stewart book - who may end up being the main DCU Lantern if that HBO Max GL series actually gets made - means they view him as one of their up and comers. He's expressed a lot of love for and desire to work in GL before, he's set up plot threads for GL such as the Revenant Queen threat that would give John his own Rogues which John desperately needs, and I obviously am a huge fan of the cosmic storytelling over in Action which I fully expect will be repeated here. DC Cosmic has been crying out for a worldbuilder to flesh it out more for ages, this is an exciting choice. My hunch is that John will be dealing with another Aspect of Olgrun, since there are six more out there unaccounted for. Inject some of that Warworld Saga storytelling into Green Lantern, let's get John a love interest, and maybe Stewart will finally get that equivalent to Johns run on GL with Hal which his fans have been begging for. Sampere is a huge GL fan who has history with PKJ before, I would say he's a natural choice for this book, but he likes Hal more so I could see him ending up on Tamaki's book instead.

Cyborg (Creative Team TBA) - Wish I could be more excited for this, but I have to know the team and the pitch before being interested. Too many Cyborg stories rehash the same "am I a man or a machine?" crap for me to pull this sight unseen.

Batman: The Brave & The Bold by Tom King and Various Artists - King got robbed of his 100 issue Batman run so I guess he's going to make up for it by doing secondary Batman books forever. Does Batman really need another team-up book given World's Finest already has him teaming up with Superman and the rest of the DCU? I'll be reading this so I guess I'm part of the problem, but I really wish King would take on another of the A-Listers. All he does is Batman books, C-Listers, and the occasional dabble in the Superman sphere. I want to see him tackle another Justice Leaguer's ongoing, give him an Aquaman or Martian Manhunter book since everyone else seems to be claimed. Apparently he's shifting back towards the mainline DCU ongoings after spending a couple years doing minis of dubious canonicity. Looks like creative teams will rotate and since Rob Williams is here and he's a writer not an artist, guess he's next up after King.

Green Arrow by Josh Williamson and Sean Izaakse - Williamson has been building up to this since the start of Infinite Frontier, cool that he's finally announcing the book. I'll admit I'm annoyed it's opening with a "we have to find Ollie who is lost out in the Multiverse!" arc, I'm sick of the Multiverse and I'm tired of DC "building up" to doing what everyone is asking them to. Just write a damn Green Arrow back where he's in Star City/Seattle interacting with the Arrow Family! Maybe Williamson doing a Multiverse story with a smaller cast will be more palatable, I did enjoy his Flash run after all.

Shazam! by Mark Waid and Dan Mora - Other than Superman proper this is probably the book Waid has been dying to write the most. He, Morrison, and Gail Simone pitched to take over the Marvel Family way back when, I bet he's got loads of ideas on how to revamp the character, and his ideas will probably be better received than Johns' revamp was. Solicit sounds great, Mora on art (and apparently still doing art for World's Finest, dude is a machine) is perfect, and Waid's handling of the Fab Five over in WF has shown he can handle younger characters still. Should be fun in the same way WF is.

The Penguin by Tom King and Stefano Gaudiano - Hah that's a pretty great team for a synergy book. King's Penguin in his Batman run was... well he seemed to be teasing that Penguin had sex with actual penguins, so clearly his take on Penguin is untraditional to say the least. Pitch seems interesting enough, Penguin back in crime because the government forced him back in as their agent is intriguing.

Steelworks (Creative Team TBA) - On one hand hell yes a new Steel book! Tell me Greg Pak is writing this and I am there day one. If it's not Pak however then I have qualms. The brief description in the press release makes it seem like John Henry is giving up on being Steel and handing over the role entirely to Natasha, and I've got no interest in that. S&L make me into a Nat fan but I love John Henry more, and I am not going to be happy if DC's idea of celebrating his 30th is him handing over the role to his niece. He better be the main protagonist and he better get to suit up and be Steel. Glad that DC has enough faith in PKJ to start spinning new series out of what he's doing.

Only two Bat books so fuck it, let's call it a win. Satisfied overall with the creative teams announced, for those that were actually announced, DC is playing it safe but after Infinite Frontier took risks and bombed that's exactly what I expected to happen. I guess the next event is going to be called Knighttime and will be another Batman event. Ugh. Also is that red circle with a bird supposed to represent Penguin, because it sure looks a lot like Hawkman’s symbol. Maybe a new Hawk book will be announced as part of the second wave? For the second wave I want books for Zatanna, Aquaman, Vixen, Justice League Dark (use the Shadowpact name if we're keeping the JL on ice for a while), Suicide Squad, and Legion of Superheroes, but as an opening lineup? I'm pretty happy with this!

[ff7central]

Mod Miri here! Today on the blog we have Upside (she/they), who can be found here on Tumblr and Archive of Our Own. 

General FF7 Questions

Who is your favourite character from the FFVII setting? What do you love about them?

I write most often with Sephiroth and Cloud, but my favorite character is Barret. I love Barret and I always have. He starts out rough and gruff, but you find out fast he is not at all. He fights because he feels he has to. Most of all I love that he is a great father. It's a huge point of contention that he leaves Marlene behind, but I think it gets glossed over that it kills him to not be with her. If he's with her, however, it means he isn't fighting to make sure she has a future worth living, but every moment away he is thinking about her and missing her terribly. I love him. I love that inner conflict and the guilt he faces and fights past. He's just so *chef's kiss*

Favourite party (three person team) idea when playing FFVII? They don’t have to actually work mechanically (or even be possible in the game), just that you like the idea of them together as a fighting party.

Cloud-Barret-Nanaki. I don't know why I played as these guys so much. I forced myself to try and even out the team XP, but I always came back to these guys.

Is there a headcannon or AU you want to see more of?

That's a question I'm more likely to ask everyone else. I'm always coming up with headcanons and AUs. They just pour out of me. I can't really think of one that's stuck with me for super long.

Do you have a favourite memory associated with FF7 (any part of compilation) or something particular you did while playing (such as what you named the characters, or how you arranged your materia) that you think is unique that you'd like to share?

Creator Questions

Who has been the most difficult character to write/draw? Who has been the easiest?

Aerith. I love her and her characterization, but she is a tough nut to crack for me. She is a far, far cry from a damsel needing rescue, but there's a lot of issues to unpack for her. A lot of secrets she never told and probably planned to. I struggle to reach the parts of her that probably did need help without taking away the chaos and the strength she 100% had.

What’s your ideal creating environment? Background noise/silence, indoors/outdoors, desk/couch, etc.?

I am a freak of nature. I write best in a silent room, laying down or sprawled over a couch. It doesn't have to be dark, but it does have to be inside.

What’s your creative process look like? Pantser/Emotive Writer/Gardener or Planner/Structured Writer/Architect? (Do you outline or just go with the flow?) If you’re an artist, do you do a lot of sketches, or just dive right in? Backgrounds first, or the main focal point? Multiple layers or all in one?

I'm a definite pantser. I go with the flow, but it only works so long as there is a flow. I'm trying desperately to at least make a general outline of fics now and I write those in pencil so I can't say I lost the drafts.

What do you do when you get stuck on a project?

Walk away. Sometimes literally. I'll go for a walk and just think it over, try and walk a mile in the character's shoes. Sometimes (often) I walk away for far too long.

Do you do commissions, requests, or prompts? (If you have a page for it, drop a link.)

I take headcanon prompts almost all the time on tumblr. On occasion I will do full-fic requests in exchange for a charity donation (your choice).

Which of your works is the most memorable to you? I don’t necessarily mean favourite or best work, it could be the work that taught you the most through making it or that holds a special reason in its creation. Drop a link.

Test Notes from the ShinRa Handheld Portal Device is a fic I wrote, in several large chunks during Do Good Weirdly sessions in the Summer and Winter. This event is a huge challenge but a ton of fun. Authors and Artists from fandoms all over spend a set amount of time just creating non-stop. At the end, the creators donate to a charity of their choice. It is an amazing time to spend with some rad and creative people and I highly recommend joining us this winter for the next session

Without them I never would have written this crossover fic I'm insanely proud of: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32666962/chapters/81036598

It’s hard for me to go through everything you’ve done to pick stuff to mention. Is there a particular piece you’d like plugged, other than the one in the last question?

Nerd Chic is my most popular fic. It's an ASGZC slow burn where Cloud gets glasses: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170231/chapters/6884306

I also particularly love You are What you Eat. It's cheesy, sappy soul mate fun and good for a rainy day: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22742071/chapters/54342010

Community/Fandom Questions

What aspects of fandom spark the most joy for you?

The people. There is negativity everywhere, but once you curate your followers and your friends there's nothing that can beat just seeing what the people you let around you create. Y'all are amazing.

Is there something you'd like to see more of in the community?

Commenting and Reblogging. I'm guilty of liking and moving on and forgetting, but art and fic die if it doesn't spread around. Reblog and Comment if you like it and want to see more. It means more to the creators. It really does.

Anything you’d like to say to the community?

Thanks for making this a space that has sparked so much joy. I've loved this game since I was a kid and I'm so happy to just sit and talk with others who do too.

Is there a work belonging to someone else that you’d like to plug?

I love Pedulum by Evil Robot Cat: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170231/chapters/6884306

And also all of the Cat's artwork. It's good stuff

I would also recommend all of Illusioneery's work art and fic. There's a lot to pick from.

Thanks so much for joining me, Upside! You are a pleasure to have in our community. 

Interested in participating in a FF7Central interview, or nominating someone? Check out the form here.

[kmclaude]

Hey Claude, how are you? Ive been going through months of writer's block, and it seems like I can't find inspiration anywhere. Maybe it's because I'm going through a lot in my non-creative life (which is unusual for me), but it's been more than just frustrating, it's been disheartening. So I was wondering, how do you deal with creative blocks? And what media do you go to for inspiration, if you do? Songs, movies, shows, anything really. This summer been long as hell, and I'd be happy maybe just to find somethin new to fixate on lol --🕊 (@pearlwhitetears)

hiiiii @pearlwhitetears sorry you're struggling!!!! creative blocks are hard and suck, especially when creative stuff is like....your escape/relaxation/relief from noncreative life.

for me i feel like a lot of my creative blocks are usually because i either need some new media to jostle my brain (or some old media that i can enjoy on a 'wow, this actress' choice to do x is really good' type analytical level as opposed to a 'wow i am experiencing this for the first time!!!!!!), i need to approach creativity from another angle (usually by sitting at my little bedroom craft desk and doing traditional artwork or typing away curled in a chair on some story or coding a website -- either way, not at my Drawing On The Computer Desk and not Doing A Computer Drawing), or -- often the hardest -- life is sucking ass right now.

for that last one -- the very Externalized Art Block, the kind of "a lot is going on in my life" sort of blocks -- I find it's...mmm, I don't wanna say self fulfilling prophesy or Sisyphean hell cycle, but it's one of those "life sucks -> try to create -> too stressed to create because life sucks -> despair -> life sucks more now" circles that the pressure TO create just adds another weight, another stressor, that feeds back into the stress of noncreative life.

for those...yeah, fuck, those are hard. hell, I'm literally in the middle of one: this time last year a lot of things happened one after another including my car getting totaled, going to the ER, and a terrible hurricane. then less than a year ago my fiancé left me and i am still absolutely devastated by that (and this would've been our anniversary month so you know...yeah, i’m still recovering emotionally) plus my noncreative jobs' have shifted and, while a good shift, it now requires a LOT more brain power. those stressors, good and bad, all stack and stack and take more and more mental, emotional, and other abilities away from your creative pursuits in order to funnel them towards, well, not falling apart -- which is a good thing! it is! not falling apart is generally good! but all that to say -- yeah! i know what you mean! it's a lot and it's super disheartening and exhausting to feel you can't even create!

what i've found, though, that works for me is finding the small small small wins and taking them. make them real. thought of a way to write a scene you've been stuck on? don't feel you gotta go write it all out right now because then you'll smash your head on your keyboard in a rage when it doesn't work right -- but DO jot down those thoughts real quick on a pad of paper. there! you did it, you did A Creative Thing today, you don't gotta do any more, there's 0 pressure. tomorrow you can take a picture of those notes and email them to yourself or otherwise digitize them. and the next day, hey, maybe you can review the notes and write down any other thoughts. etc. and eventually either those single small things will begin to add up until you find the flow again or by doing your One Little Creative Thing it sparks creating another and another and another until you putter out that day (and it's okay to putter out because hey, you did your ONE thing already!)

like shoot, i still haven't done A Creative Task I Need To Do but I did do a small thing to bring me one step closer to said task. one small thing is better than no thing, you know?

anyway, I think that's generally how I try to tackle them. do a little thing. even if that thing is getting out of your head -- journaling whatever thoughts are swirling around.

as for media i go to...it depends! right now i'm watching dear brother/oniisama e on tubi which is great because it is actually entertaining but also episodes keep you interested without aggressively spilling over so you wind up binging and then losing a day and feeling bad about it. so that's been a good sort of time keeper? usually i try to find something interesting on the various streaming platforms, else, i'll lean on some of my reliable comfort movies (you know, like Takarazuka's Elisabeth: Ai to Shi no Rondo because when I hear COMFORT MOVIE I think Japanese adaptation of Viennese musicals about Empress Elisabeth of Austria having severe depression! fun times!) hell, i rewatched The Ring the other day and was struck by how damn good that film still is, since while i am obsessed with the franchise i haven't rewatched it in yeeeeeears. sometimes it's just rewatching something you love but haven't watched in a bit.

i also have gotten into records if you've got a record player (or apparently now they make cassette players that enable you to convert to digital which is cool, the local record stores also sell beaucoup cassettes) which has lead to finding just random cool stuff as well as also forcing myself into a time lock: you can't exactly skip tracks in a record so you're stuck playing a side through, might as well doodle something or write a letter or knock out an easy task while it plays. it helps! because in part i know when the record ends i can get up and stop (or i can get up and flip it and keep on doing my little tasks but i have a guaranteed out.)

(can you tell for me it's been a lot of 'trick yourself into Doing An Art haha'? but hey it's working so far!)

actual media-wise, here's some things i've either gotten into recently that've been really slamming the 'wow not every day is a total shit and art is a thing that may be fun' endorphins button in my brain as well as some Go To Brain Likey stuff:

Perfect Obedience, a Spanish-language film I just got to see with friends on Sunday that was so so soooo good (warning it's about a priest who molests young seminarians and I mean young as in like...middle schooler): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmlZYsz5i7g

Rammstein's latest album, Zeit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-NUBR2kufw&list=OLAK5uy_kEcSS0IizYOnBcB1V0EpkFWVo87eAtFFw

Elisabeth Ai to Shi no Rondo, 2016 Cosmos Troupe version with English subtitles, which 20 bucks says will get copyright strike'd soon but if you like rock operas, ladies, and distracting pretty things, hey!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj0XN3ibpiI

The German-language version of Elisabeth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr8z-yyGqF8

The Hunchback of Notre Dame Musical Studio Recording, because look ok look....look....look i love patrick page: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_kxStpxNrNAtPKNFl8mgwFBUIQqLBBAjKQ

At one point last year I had Hadestown on repeat so uh yeah hope you like musicals because that apparently is my go-to, sorry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwg1mswuxzY

Oniisama e (found ep 1 on YT lol) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQbvy9Nr9fQ

Oingo Boingo's farewell concert is such a banger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnEkodpneqI

idk man idk i basically throw a lot at the wall that is my brain and hope something sticks. i'm also someone who will listen to one thing on repeat forever OR open spotify and start digging through the algorithmic recommendations off of bands i like until i find something new that punches the feel good button of my brain. it's a fight between COMFORT COMFORT COMFORT FOOD U KNOW AND LOVE and IF I DONT GET A NEW STIMULI RIGHT NOW IWILL LITERALLY UNALIVE

so. yeah. lol. god i hope any of that helps.