#I am English but not syntax really

[awkwardturtletrash]

Im not an expert at all but Im opinionated. I did a research paper on the Gullah dialect of Creole languages for a syntax class. It is very much a ‘vibes’ based language due to their abstract use of such limited vocabulary. Some words have dozens and dozens of different meanings, tenses don’t matter, verbs and nouns are meaningless, and tone carries most of it.

It can still be researched, recorded, and has a historical path. It is a rigid, definable language to native speakers . It’s very much something that has to be told to understand, it’s very much against other language’s natural code of conduct. But it exists historically, proven despite its rejection of syntactic law.

Emojis and “chat” are neither of these things. They aren’t natural progressions of grammar, they’re humorous references. They’re jokes. Grammar isn’t just references that mean other things, it’s a system of communication through shared representation of concepts. It IS rigid because it fucking had to be. Otherwise there would be no point.

Gullah is extremely socially based and doesn’t make sense to those unfamiliar with what they’re taking about, it can come across as “vibes.” This is because it is shaped by colonialism, slavery, had time to develop, and location.

Memes and a quote from twitch are nothing grammatical. They’re not new forms of language. I understand you want your wasted time to be more important or mean something but maybe be more interesting than calling images pertaining to Seinfeld equal to ancient texts. Just a thought!

"chat is a pronoun" has officially joined my list of internet linguistics pet peeves. "emojis are hieroglyphs" is welcoming them to the club.

[urfavfakeblonde]

can u write a smut where fem reader is a virgin and stiles is some what experienced and stiles goes slow with her??

ₛₜᵤdy ₛₑₛₛᵢₒₙ

hi!! yes <3 thank you so much for requesting love

Stiles Stilinski x fem!reader

warnings: lots of foreplay!! fuffly, fingering, HEAVY makeouts oml, game sex??? idk lol, p n v, virgin!fem!reader, implied!experineced!Stiles

mdni

I cautiously walk up the steps to his house, nervous fingers picking at my chipped nail polish. I take a deep breath as I knock on the door lightly, my other hand fiddling with the ends of my hair. It's just a study session, stop shaking. At least that's what I tell myself before the door opens softly, and I'm face to face with Stiles. He smiles at me, and I almost forget how to breath. "Hi," I say with a smile, eyes avoiding his gaze. He moves to the side to let me in, responding with a 'Hey'.

"Thanks for coming over," he says, closing the door gently. My mind is swirling with thoughts, emotions-- and honestly, I don't know how I'm going to get through this evening. "I'm pretty sure you understand English a lot more than I do," he remarks, turning around to face my timid figure. I smile, blush creeping onto my cheeks. "I don't know about that," I giggle, looking around the house as if I hadn't been here before. But before, I mean that was just a pack meeting, this--this is more than that.

Well, not really, were just studying, but this is the first time it's just been me and Stiles. Alone.

I follow him up the stairs, and into his bedroom. "Where's your dad?" I question, setting my bag down beside his bed. "Work," he replies, sitting at his desk, shoving aside all his crime papers. I nod, even though he can't see me, and look around his room. A simple grey wallpaper, the typical teenage boy posters; half-made bed, a lamp, and of course-- lots and lots of papers. Eventually, we sit on the floor, looking through my notes, (because stiles didn't take any) and write his English paper. "Okay, I'll quiz you. What's a Caesura?" Stiles thinks for a moment, staring up at the ceiling as he lies on his back. "When the punctuation is in the middle of the poem before the line ends?" He finally says, glancing up at me. I smile and nod, flipping to the next flashcard.

"Okay, what's a Syntax?" He looks back up at the ceiling and furrows his brows. "No clue," He utters, sitting upright. "It's the-" suddenly he takes the flashcards out of my hand as I give him a confused look. "I was gonna tell you what it was," I say, sighing. He looks at me, and I feel my heart flutter. Pink starts rising into my cheeks again as he holds the flashcard in front of him. "Tell me what it is," he asks. "Why? You're the one who needs the help Stiles-" he cuts me off by shushing my lips with his finger. My heart literally skips a beat as he slowly drags it down, my lip following obediently. He moves his finger back to the flashcard, an action that he believed to be nothing but innocent. He asked me something again, but I continued to stare at him, specifically his hand. "Y/n?" He asks, shifting his head to capture my eyes again. This stopped me from zoning out; quietly clearing my throat. "Sorry," I mumble while my fingers pick away my nail polish again. "What's a Syntax?" He asks again, eyes boring into mine. "The way the piece is structured," I say as he smiles. It's quiet for a moment, and when my eyes lift up, my gaze is locked with his.

"I have an idea," he says, standing up. He reaches his hand out for mine, and I take it hesitantly. "You've been helping me, it's only fair I help you." He says, pulling me to my feet. When I'm up, I notice how close I am to him, especially that he hasn't let go of my hand. I swallow hard, trying my best to maintain eye contact with him. "We'll play a game; you ask me questions and every time I get one right you have to take off one of your clothes," he whispers softly. My eyes widen, and I feel my heart starting to beat faster. "And if you get it wrong?" I whisper back, leaning in closer. He just smiles as he dips his head, connecting his lips with mine.

I cannot believe this is happening to me. I am fucking kissing Stiles Stilinski, my crush since elementary school and God does it feel just how I always imagined it would. The kiss is gentle, caring. I pull back slowly as I make eye contact with him again. I swallow hard and feel my hands start to shake a little in his soft hands. "Um, I've never really...kissed anyone before. Well, before now," I whisper, nervous beyond belief. He just smiles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "See? You teach me, I'll teach you." He gives me a comforting smile before cupping his hand behind the base of my neck, pulling me in for another kiss. This time, it's more feverent, hurried. Like he was going to lose me if he stops. I learn as he kissed, opening my mouth enough for his tongue to slip in, a gentle hum coming from my throat.

My hands, more comfortable now, move up to dance through his dark hair, nails gently scratching his scalp. He was taller than me, causing my head to have to lean up just to kiss him, but it felt magical. I felt safe in his hold, rough, but gentle hands tilting my head up to meet his kiss. He pulled away enough to kiss down my jaw, down to my neck as my head tilts back with eyes closed. My fingers continue to dance through his hair, a soft whine releasing from my mouth when he found my sweet spot. I felt him smirk against my neck, mouth traveling back up to meet my mouth again. He moves me backwards, letting us fall softly on the mattress. He kissed back down my jaw again, but further this time as he reached my collarbone. He sucked a hickey on the side, causing my core to ache and clench around nothing. "fuck sti," I whine, letting my hands fall to his biceps. He liked the nickname--I could tell; a soft smile forming on his kissed lips as he rested above me.

"Ask away," he whispers, leaving sloppy, wet kisses all over my neck. In a way, it was all almost too overwhelming, but somehow it felt like it was supposed to happen. I couldn't focus, not with my core aching, legs moving softly as if to get some release. "What's a -fuck,-an enjambment," I ask, hands roaming his body. "Mhm," he kisses my collarbone again softly, lips trailing to my ear. "When the line ends with no punctation," he says, smirking as I nod. He lets his fingers dance under the hem of my shirt. He slowly peels it off, letting it slide over my head before throwing it on the floor somewhere behind him. He's quick to kiss my stomach, my body arching up into his gentle touch. "Next," he whispers, kissing the tops of my breasts. My breathing intensifies, hands running through his hair again. "How do you spell philanthropy," I ask, my teeth catching my lower lip. He looks up at me and grins, as he licks his lips. "If you wanted me to take my shirt off, all you had to do was ask," he chuckles, leveling his face above mine. "That's not how the game works, " I giggle, running hands down his arms. "I bet you don't even know how to spell that," he smiles, taking off his shirt.

The navy-blue cloths fall onto the floor with a quiet, thump as he repositions himself above me. "But you wouldn't know if I was right, would you?" I playfully ask, biting my lip. He chuckles softly, catching my lips in a kiss once again. My fingers trace his stomach, soft enough to make him shiver. "What's a metaphor?" I ask as he looks down at me. "A figure of speech when a word or phrase is applied to an object or action that has no real relation to the word," He answers proudly. This time, his fingers dance under the hem of my jeans, before his fingers undid the brass button and zipper. He helps me drag them down, before adding them to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. "Fuck," he whispers under his breath, eyes taking in the thin white panties that so effortlessly match with the bra. I bite my lip, trying to overcome my nerves. My body wants to close up, run away but I can't bring myself to do it. Not when he's looking at my body like he wants to fuck me till morning.

His fingers hover above the straps along my hips before lifting them up slowly before letting them snap back against my skin. I gasp, the wetness in my panties growing larger, it was almost embarrassing. "How do you spell rhythm?" I ask, a grin forming on my face. He rolls his eyes, kissing my stomach. "r-y-t-h-m-n," he answers, confident in his answer. I giggle and shake my head, "r-h-y-t-h-m-n," I say, watching as he sighs in defeat. He slips off his jeans, throwing them in the darkness somewhere. "Okay, I see how it is ms. I'magoodspeller," he says, messing with the straps of my bra. My face starts to flush, the realization that this answer could leave me bare in front of him.

"How do you spell Indispensable?" I stay silent. I have no fucking clue how to spell that word. Fuck. "I-n-d-i-s-p-e-n-s-i-b-l-e?" I answer. "Wait no, it's with an "a"! I-n-d-i-s-p-e-n-s-a-b-l-e!" I say quickly, trying to retract my previous answer. "You got it wrong the first time, no take backs," He chuckles, hands slowly lifting down the straps to my bra before reaching behind my back to unclasp it. It lays limp until he slides it off my arms; perky nipples on display as goosebumps litter my body. He lets his eyes linger for a moment, admiring the sight before him. "Fuck you're pretty," he whispers, his rough hand moving up to massage the soft flesh. I bite my lip, watching as he leans down, pausing for a moment before taking the bud into his mouth. "Oh shit," I whine, my hands returning into his dark hair once again-this time pulling and tugging. He swirls his tongue around before sucking it gently to let it go with a soft pop! He kisses between my breasts, taking the other bud into his mouth to give it the same attention.

My body arched up into him, my clothed clit brushing against his hard erection in his boxers. "Please Stiles..." I whine, my core pulsing at the lack of attention. "I know, I know," he whispers, sucking onto that sweet spot once again. His hand finally travels lower, antagonizingly slow I might add, as he slips his fingers over my white, lacy panties. He begins to rub small circles over my clit, kissing my neck, jaw and chest as I arch into his touch. He brings his lips back up to mine, accepting my moans as he fastens his pace. My legs wrap around his torso, my aching and empty hole begging to be fucked for the first time. "Sti-I, fuck, please-" I whimper, head thrown back in ecstasy. God if he can do this with just his fingers-no his hand, then fuck. The wet patch in my panties begins to grow, fingers rubbing fast and small circles around my bud. "please, please, please...fuck sti!" I moan, hips moving back and forth to fasten the rhythm of his hand.

Suddenly, he slips his fingers into my panties, letting a digit slip into my sopping hole. I moan loudly into his mouth as he kisses me, letting another digit in to fuck me softly. My body starts to shake from the overwhelming feeling, the band breaking as he curls his fingers into my G-spot. My mouth opens as a loud moan escapes me, body shaking as he slips his tongue into my mouth, fingers riding out my high. "That's it, I've got you," he coo's, kissing my neck as my body settles down the shaking. I close my eyes, sweaty body breathing heavily against his chest. I feel him slip my panties off, throwing them in the pile of jeans and shirts. "You okay?" He asks, caressing my face softly. I nod, licking my lips. "I want more," I whisper. "Please." He smiles at my question throwing off his boxers. "Whatever you want," he answers, kissing my cheek. He leans over to his drawer, grabbing a condom as he slides it over his length. He leans down to kiss me as he moves his hands under my legs, bending them forward as he pushes into me. I let a satisfied whine out into his mouth, the feeling of him inside me already feeling so good. He kisses me deeply, letting his tongue explore my mouth. He starts slow, letting his forehead connect with mine, heavy breaths coming from our mouths.

"Fuck you're amazing," he groans, pushing out slow before bottoming out quickly. This let moans come as they will, back arching off the bed, and the steady shaking from my legs to make it all feel so lifechanging. It didn't take long before I felt the cord in me about to break again, my hands cupping his neck as I moaned out soft praises. "Sti-" I whine, met with a groan from his lips. "Fuck, I know, me too-" he says, fastening his pace. My legs began to shake once again, breathing becoming heavier than before. "Fuck, please Sti-oh shit," I moan, hips meeting his thrusts. The cord finally snapped, body arching up off the bed as Stiles kisses my neck again. "Fuck," he groans, pulling out quickly to release in the condom. He lays next to me, tracing my stomach softly. "Are you okay?" He whispers, sitting up. I nod and smile, glancing at him. He smiles back, going to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and return with a wet rag. He drags it across my body, soaking up the sweat and spit from his kisses. "You wanna stay the night?" I nod as he leans down to kiss me.

[kaedekolya]

alien stage "cure" lyric translations

i've been losing my mind over how poetic the korean lyrics are, so i tried translating them a little more closely to the original! there are so many implications and so much nuance that it's simply impossible to fully convey them in english, due to vocab and syntax differences, so there will be a ton of translation notes below. please cry over this tragic pair with me :")

[ disclaimer: i am in no way trying to imply that the official translations are subpar, because they're actually really good — it's difficult to convey the full extent of meaning while remaining concise enough for closed captions! i just want to share my own take on the original lyrics ^^ ]

r o u n d 6 — c u r e

Please permit me, till the tips of your hands Please permit me, till the tips of your feet I wish for you to melt me within your eyes I don't want to lose you I plead of you, inflict wounds upon me I plead of you, make it so that I am hurting Until not a single drop of me remains I dissolve in you Till these stars, which will crumble Buried within eternity, which will fade into a blur At the edge of your frigid lips Read me, please That's right, me Even the sharp words you gave me Even if they leave scratches beneath my eyes I wish they remain upon your tongue Even if everything is shattered, it's okay Now, please, look at my wounds Now, please, cure me Just so that my unease may be dampened So that I dissolve into you Above these nights, which will be drawn Screaming into the silence, which will collapse Within your pupils that gaze at me Drink me, please That's right, me This song without an end Towards each other, we dance Our story, buried within eternity Till these stars, which will crumble Buried within eternity, which will fade into a blur At the edge of your frigid lips Read me, please That's right, me Above these nights, which will be drawn Screaming into the silence, which will collapse Within your pupils that gaze at me Drink me, please That's right, me

[ translation notes below the cut. ]

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

translation notes

"please permit me"

허락해줘, please grant me permission; implying the person Till is singing to (henceforth Mizi, for brevity) has authority over him.

"I wish for you to..." vs "I wish..."

a slight difference in conjugation; Till wishes that Mizi will do that action for him, whereas Ivan simply wishes for things to be a certain way.

"I don't want to lose you"

놓치다, to lose something or someone by missing them or failing to catch them; implies less agency and control than "to let go."

"I plead of you, inflict wounds upon me" / "I plead of you, make it so that I am hurting"

부디, implying an earnest entreaty, a fervent plea. here, the conjugation has Till asking Mizi to give him wounds, and give him pain.

"I dissolve in you" vs "so that I dissolve into you"

there is no exact translation for 물들다 (conjugated into 물들어 and 물들게 in the lyrics), but picture this: watercolour paints soaking into a white canvas, permeating across it, imbuing it. difference in adpositions: Till says 너로, indicating "by" or "with," whereas Ivan says 네게 (너에게), indicating "to" or "towards". so for Till, Mizi is the colour and he is the canvas, whereas for Ivan, he is the colours that are spreading towards Till. difference in conjugations: Till says 물들어, in present tense and active voice, while Ivan says 물들게 [하다], to make a certain state happen (note that this is different from the ~ㄹ 게 conjugation that indicates future intention). Ivan is saying please notice my pain and heal it, so that I permeate into you, which would then quieten my unease.

"which will crumble" / "which will fade into a blur"

the ~ㄹ conjugation here is a future indicative tense; the action it describes will happen, the state it describes will come to be. 무너질, "will crumble;" to fall by crumbling, crumpling, caving in, breaking down. 흐려질, "will grow blurry;" i chose to translate this as the more poetic "fade into a blur."

"buried within eternity"

묻힌, from 묻히다, to be buried; this word can also mean "to be stained," giving the phrase an alternative meaning of "stained upon eternity."

"read me, please" / "that's right, me"

the official translation says "read my soul," which might indicate the meaning that the creators intended, but the original korean lyrics only says "me." "그래," which i translated as "that's right," can be used in many contexts with varying nuance; it is an acknowledgement and a simple, light agreement. in some contexts, it can be perfunctory, in others, it can be an acceptance.

"even if the sharp words you gave me" / "even if they leave scratches beneath my eyes"

here, Ivan is downplaying the extent of hurt that Till has inflicted upon him. Till may use sharp-edged language, but Ivan describes these words as being given to him, almost as if they are a gift, implying he treasures every word Till throws his way. the word used for "scratches" is often used to describe scrapes left by fingernails; shallow, surface-level wounds.

"even if everything is shattered, it's okay"

부숴, from 부수다, to break, smash, shatter. the official translation says "you can break me apart," which might reflect the meaning that the creators intended, but since the subject and object can be omitted in korean and still be grammatically correct, this sentence doesn't indicate the subject that is doing the breaking or the object that is being broken apart.

"now, please, look at my wounds" / "now, please, cure me"

the word for "wounds," 상처, can also be used to refer to scars, but i chose the former to indicate the open wounds that Ivan wishes Till will cure.

"just so that my unease may be dampened"

그저, "just," implying that Ivan doesn't want for much, he is only asking for this small and simple wish. 불안, unease. it's not quite as intense as "fears," though it can be an indicator of it; it's closer to worries or anxieties. 가라앉도록, from 가라앉다, to sink, to subside, to become subdued.

"above these nights, which will be drawn"

그려질, from 그려지다, to be drawn, like a sketch or painting.

"screaming into the silence, which will collapse"

the more accurate conjugation would be "screamed," but i went with "screaming" for a smoother flow. 쓰러질, "will collapse;" to fall by collapsing, fainting, passing out.

"within your pupils that gaze at me"

translating it as "eyes" would probably read smoother, but the korean lyrics use the specific word 눈동자, meaning the pupil of the eye.

"drink me, please"

the official translation says "consume me," but 마시다 (original lyric 마셔줘) means "drink." it's simple and fluid, not as forceful as "consume" or "swallow." once again, Ivan never uses harsh or violent language to describe Till's actions.

"this song without an end"

i intentionally chose this syntax to emphasise the lack of an end, and to more closely mirror that of the original. it can also be translated as "this endless song."

"towards each other, we dance"

향해, towards, indicating direction. the official translation, "face to face," can be inferred from the word, but i like the idea of them dancing towards each other, going towards each other, as if drawn together in each other's orbit. (also, the irony that in reality, it is only Ivan doing so, only Ivan going towards Till; Ivan sings this line, like he wishes it were the case, like he wishes it were mutual, even as he knows it is not.)

"our story, buried within eternity"

in the previous instance of the phrase "buried within eternity," the object is not specified. here, the clause is completed with 채, meaning "the state of." specifically, this line would be "our story, in the state of being buried within eternity."

[ and that's it — thank you for reading! please note that this is mostly a line-by-line translation, as the original lyrics are composed of distinct clauses that connect in meaning, but not in grammar. the official translation wove the clauses together in proper sentences, whereas my translation mirrors the scattered discontinuity of the korean lyrics. ]

[blamgranules]

WWW: What's the "reflexive indicative"?

I've been meaning to write this for a while, but I wasn't sure what it really meant and now I have a theory. I am a professional linguist. I teach translation, so grammar/syntax is something I have spent a lot of time on.

Now, brace yourselves, because I'm going to be explaining modern English grammar and most schools in the English-speaking world are still teaching traditional grammar. I don't know how well versed BLeeM is in modern grammar, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Let's start with the basics. Indicative is a grammatical mood. Moods effect the reality or truth of a clause. The indicative mood is one of the realis moods, meaning that the clause is true in the tense. (Irrealis moods can make the clause possible, hypothetical, desired, etc.) The other realis mood in English is declarative. The difference is that a declarative clause uses a verb as its predicate and an indicative clause uses a noun or adjective as its predicate.

In modern grammar, the predicate is the word or phrase with the most important meaning. To put it another way, the predicate is the word or phrase that the rest of the sentence "depends" on (see: Parse Tree). So, "I am running" is declarative and "There is a shotgun in the drawer" is indicative.

Whatever magic's "reflexive indicative" is, it's roughly equivalent to "a thing exists" or "a thing is [adjective]".

Next, reflexive is term used in grammar to refer to anaphoric nouns. An anaphor is a word that refers back to another word or concept. In "we climbed a mountain and said mountain was tall", the participial adjective 'said' marks the following noun as an anaphor. Anaphoric nouns are usually analyzed as pronouns; e.g. "itself". Some English pronouns are only sometimes reflexive, like "that".

This means that the "reflexive indicative" has to be a couple things. First, we know it's somatic, so sign language basically. Second, it's a full clause. One gesture for a full clause isn't difficult. In many languages, there are verbs that do not need any nouns to be satisfied. Consider: "It is raining". 'It' is a dummy pronoun; it doesn't mean anything. In ASL, it is a single gesture. However, a reflexive indicative clause must have a noun. In short, the somatic gesture most likely means "a thing mentioned before exists".

My theory is that the reflexive indicative is used as a kind of anchor. It may be a conjunction between two magical actions: "Control the edges of the tear. Those edges are there. Bring them together." It might also be used as punctuation to end an action: "Bring the edges of the tear together. That tear does not exist." or "Connect the edges of the fabric. That fabric is whole."

If this is true, I would theorize that early in the development of wizardry, the reflexive indicative was used either 1) to assist the wizard in their focus (assuming that WWW's magic is the manifestation of will) or 2) doing magic this way was so new that it was "low context". Low context communication involves a lot of specifics and reflexive nouns are more frequent in low than high context communication. Insulated communication systems tend to become higher context over time.

Brennan mentioned that the more people who know a particular spell, the less potent it becomes; hence the Citadel tightly controlling who has access to spells. However, more people knowing a spell might also increase the level of context the spell has, thus making the reflexive indicative unnecessary.

This would make even more sense if magic was always an interaction with the spirit world. Whatever spirit is making Mending possible has become so familiar with it that the reflexive indicative is understood.

But at this point, we are into untethered speculation. That's the theory. We'll see what info Brennan drips out next and if my theory holds up.

[rook-writes]

extremely rare writing blog reblog here but on paragraphing i always think about the old tiptop post that circulated around tumblr a while back. for those that have never seen it, tiptop stands for time, place topic, person. these are practical ways to split paragraphs, but also, that last one is especially important for how dialogue reads. standard formatting is useful in that regard.

also, paragraphing (in my experience) has a similar purpose to syntax diversity in that they're about how a piece Flows(tm). all different elements of what you do when writing can affect flow, as well as tone and mood. but on a basic level, syntax and paragraphing are peas in a pod. what you put where, and how you break it up, will always affect how an audience absorbs information.

that said, i want to highlight that you can still learn important skills from employing techniques inspired by other mediums. obviously they shouldn't be the only thing you use, but there's a reason a lot of creative writing programs will make you study more than just your focus (the MFA i'm looking at makes you do that, and my undergrad degree did as well). learning from other mediums of writing helps us innovate with the way we use language.

do i think books should be written like movies? nah, not really. but while i was looking for the tiptop post to make sure i quoted it right, i saw another post i reblogged about paragraphing that talked about people wanting to capture the feelings that movies invoked in them.

(hell, it's literally the last post we reblogged here)

studying elements of the stories we like can help us learn how to elevate our craft. for my money, i've learned a lot about paragraphing by working on personal comics (and more comic-oriented people than i have noticed that paneling and paragraphing are far from entirely divorced concepts). thinking about what i want a reader to see versus what i want them to know has been a lot of fun as i've gotten back into writing recently. but that's less related to paragraphing and more just me trying to develop "show and tell" techniques (in this case, showing one thing while a character is telling another).

that was kind of a tangent. anyways.

at the end of the day, paragraphing is, like many other elements of writing, a stylistic thing. it's going to vary from writer to writer, and for people building a style of their own, you'll really need to pull from more than just visual media if you're writing something not intended to be visual.

if you want to write film scripts, do it! but understand that you'll be severely limiting yourself if you only sup your style on the way film crafts stories.

i think people who complain about paragraphs being too long should just read/write screenplays instead. some of us actually enjoy reading

[choicesficwriterscreations]

April Creator of the Month: Aallotarenunelma

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is the lovely @aallotarenunelma! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog My Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Aallotar is fine. I am agender. My pronouns are they/them.

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I saw the app being highlighted a lot in Google Play in 2017, but it was only at the end of February-beginning of March 2018 that I downloaded it. It was when Perfect Match 1 started releasing and shortly before Bloodbound 1 began releasing. Time is flying!

There were already a lot of books, and it was a bit overwhelming. I chose the series that was being heavily advertised: The Royal Romance.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Choices sub-Reddit in July 2019, then the Tumblr fandom in April 2020.

I first joined the sub because I wanted to discuss the books and the characters, and hopefully befriending other players. It was lonely to read the books, and having no one to share my opinions and theories with. Then, I took a step back from it and after lurking a bit, I joined the Tumblr community. 

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

When I joined Tumblr, in April 2020, it was initially to be a Writblr. I was writing a story about a heroine named Aallotar. Its title gave my blog’s URL. My blog’s title is its English translation: Aallotar’s dream.

In the end, my blog turned into a bit of everything.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

This is my very first post. This is my original writing, conveniently mentioned right above. :)

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I define myself as an artist because I create. This is how I express myself. It doesn’t matter if the pencil I use is to write or to draw as long as I create. Before I started learning how to draw, I was always saying that I was drawing with words. To me, this is what writing is. I draw and paint with my words to depict stories that my characters want me to tell.

I mostly write, but I also create fan art, such as sketches and various kinds of edits: quotes, sprites, moodboards, etc. 

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

For the defunct app Lovestruck, from December 2020 to October 2021.

For Choices, since April-May 2020. 

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

My all-time favourite Choices book is Veil of Secrets. I adore it!

I heavily create for the It Lives Anthology - the three books - and also for Immortal Desires. I love these books so much that I made a crossover, and most of the characters from the Anthology and from ID have met and even befriended each other.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

My first Choices fiction is a Blades one: Of Stardust and Light.

I still love it and I wouldn’t change anything - except the typos and the clumsy grammar/syntax, due to the fact I am not an English-native speaker.

For a long time, I thought it was my masterpiece, that I wouldn’t write something as good or even as better than this. But I proved myself wrong in the end.

The other reason why I wouldn’t rewrite it now is because I have definitively stopped writing for my Blades pairing, Tyril x Soile. I made it official a few months ago, and this decision is final.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

It’s really hard to choose only one, but I do have a soft spot for Répondez, S’il Vous Plaît ! #3 because this is where I tell about my OCs’ Ash and Skylar’s meeting. It was a story I wanted to write for a long time and I love it.

Chronicles of a Crimson Summer deserves to be mentioned as well. This is the longest story I have shared here, and it’s a real balance of angst, fluff, and funny moments. Also, because its birth was extremely painful, so for all of these reasons, I am glad I wrote it and shared it.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I never expect anything I share to be well received, whether it’s a fiction or a drawing. I’m only sharing it, hoping that at least someone will find it and enjoy it. Even better if it helps the person in any way.

That said, sharing my art remains a lot more difficult than sharing my writing, so any art reblog is leaving me a bit confused, due to my imposter syndrome.

Most people here who are familiar with my stories have read some of the funny stories I have shared, as well as the fluffiest stories I have ever written - sometimes too fluffy for me. 

However, this isn’t only what my writing is about. Darker Than Night has generated so much indifference that it saddens me.

This series really shows what my writing is, minus the layer of humour that you can usually expect. It truly deserves better, just like In Joy and Sorrow, that actually gives a good idea of what my writing really is.

11- (WRITERS) If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

I usually share a lot of fluff here, because the world outside is hard, so I want to uplift people with sweet and funny stories. However, my original writing is usually angsty with some funny and fluffy moments to alleviate all the angst a little. So, I’m choosing angst. Definitely. To me, writing angst is comforting.

11a - (ARTISTS) If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? 

I could easily do oil pastels for the rest of my life. It’s an easy technique to learn, it’s very forgiving, it’s calming, and I love how it looks.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I am agender and aspec, so in any non-binary and/or aspec MC / OC of mine can be found parts of me, regardless of how they define themselves on those large spectrums. Representation is highly important to me, so this is one of the recurring themes in my writing.

Also, the witty/sarcastic and playful characters are easy to write because I know them too well!

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Finding the right word is difficult, either in English or in my native tongue. I always want to capture the emotion, the feeling, the landscape with the perfect word. I’m still learning in my daily life.

Regarding my art, at the level I am right now, that would be shadows. Sometimes, they look great, but they often don’t. Practice makes perfect, so this is what I do whenever I can.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I tend to have only one WIP that I see to end. One reason for this is that I usually write my stories in a notebook, before I type them down to share them. The state of the notebook is not always great; I even sometimes struggle to re-read what I corrected!

If it’s about my original work, then, yes, I want to finish that one novel’s second draft.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

It has actually happened with one of my siblings. At that time, I was only writing for Blades and had maybe like five stories posted. I let my sibling read them because we are close. For other people, I think it would be on a case-by-case basis, but most likely not. I'd rather make them read my original writing, if my shyness isn’t getting in the way.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Émile Zola and Arto Paasilinna are my all-time favourite writers.

I am learning from every fanfiction writer I am reading. First, because I read in a foreign language. Second, because I believe you learn from everyone every day.

In terms of art, I don’t think I have a particular influence. I am still exploring my style.

17- (WRITERS)  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

It would be In Joy and Sorrow. I created this It Lives in the Woods AU series to give a life to my first MC, Riikka. The one she couldn’t have. In this series, I talk about close friendships, coming outs, being bilingual/bicultural, how to navigate a romantic relationship as an aspec*, how to deal with bullying/harassment, etc. I talk about timeline collapse and time-travelling as well.

And because there’s the most delightful OC ever, my all-time favourite: Ash. He truly is one of a kind and his friendship with Dan is really something special.

*aspec: a person on the aromantic and asexual spectrums.

18 - (ARTISTS) Which one of your creations would you like to see a fiction written about? 

I don’t have any yet that would justify the honor of having a fiction being written about.

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I started writing when I was 10 years old. It was thanks to an assignment for my native tongue class when we were studying the structure of a fairytale. I really enjoyed writing one, so I kept writing over the summer. Little stories about everything and nothing.

I wrote my first novel when I was 13, but never dared to send it to a publisher. I kept writing novels - and not sending them, I have a nice collection, now! - and branching out in other forms of writing, in hope to develop as a writer: rpg forums, poetry, (fan)fictions, creative writing course, etc. I took a ten year break from writing (fan)fictions before returning to them.

I am working on the second draft of a novel about grief, and I have three other different novels already outlined.

Regarding art, I mostly create non-fandom art.

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

Except writing and drawing; I paint murals and do oil pastel; I do theatre; I design and crochet my own clothes.

I enjoy watching old films, Hollywood era and silent ones included, but modern films as well, if they are excellent.

I love learning foreign languages, listening to music and going to gigs.

I am also a true race car enthusiast, preferably Formula races - F1 to F4, Formula Regional included.

I also enjoy going for walks in nature and travelling.

21: Tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I want to thank CFWC for highlighting me, and giving me the chance to talk more about my characters, my stories, my writing and my art. This means a lot, especially as this month is also when I’m celebrating my 4 year Tumblr Anniversary.

Thank you for your support throughout these years!

I want to thank so many people, but I’m also scared to miss any of them!

Thank you to my friends, old and new. 💛

Thank you to everyone who has read and reblogged my stories and left kudos and comments on them. It has been helping me so much in believing in myself and my writing.

Thank you to everyone who has reblogged my art and my edits and left comments on them.

Thank you to every talented person who has gifted me a piece of their beautiful art, written or not, anonymously or not.

Thank you to everyone who has asked about my characters and my stories.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me positive and uplifting messages.

Lastly, thank you to every single person who has supported me these past months, in many different ways. Your kindness and your presence have made a difference, and I am grateful for those and for you all.

And a special shoutout to my fellow rainbow creators! 🌈

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

While I agree with most of your posts

I think bringing up grammar in song writing is just kinda weird

Like as long as a song isn't as egregiously grammatically incorrect as 'I'll do what I should have did' (thank you deacon blue) it just isn't a relevant criticism?

Even the song writer you respect most probably doesn't write their songs like an essay they can lose marks for. And that's a good thing! Songs would be a lot worse if writers were worrying about these things

It's just such a bizarre thing to bring up- and unfortunately it kinda makes your other points look less valid because it comes across as weird and petty and like you'll drag Swift for anything (Plus obsessions with 'correct' grammar is just rooted in abliesm, classism and racism- so yeah not a good look)

Plus bringing up your literature degree... like you never studied poetry? Which famously plays with grammar and sentence structure? Like that's inherent to the genre and while very little of TTPD is poetic, lyrics are still most similar to poems then they are to essays or journal articles

Sorry you just really hit a nerve here cos it's just such a ridiculous thing to bring up.

Okay, yes people don't write songs like essay's. However, they often still use determinable grammar rules in art.  

You are keying into the difference between prescriptive and descriptive grammar rules. 

The prescriptive rules are ones that you are most likely to find first listed in dictionaries or textbooks. Descriptive grammar rules contend with the dialectal differences and slang. In either case, rules and stipulations or exceptions are noted in various linguistic analysis of the demographic's dialect. Both subgroups of grammar are consistently evolving as the use of the English language changes over time.  

Before I move on, I just want to say that I am well-aware of the deep history surrounding the debates on proper grammar. These debates, of course stem, from sociohistorical issues surrounding class, race, and ableist attitudes. You are correct. However, the academic conversation on grammar and linguistics has advanced dramatically into the subdivision of grammar-practices with respect to dialectal and cultural differences. I judge Taylor Swift's grammar as similar to my own, since she claims to be from my “neck of the woods.” Thus, I feel it is entirely appropriate for me to throw metaphorical tomatoes at her.  

 In the juncture of this difference on prescriptive and descriptive, I want to make that point that people who utilize the difference well often take prescriptive rules and bend them to fit their specific thematic point, thus the lyric forms to its set of descriptive grammar rules. These artists do it with such finesse and precision, unlike Taylor Swift, that it’s nearly awe-inspiring.  

For instance, Kendrick Lamar uses many AAVE typical syntactical structures to make his music personalized art. He won a Pulitzer for it. Take, as an example, the intro to his song “Humble” in which he writes, “Nobody pray for me / It been that day for me” (2017). This is not grammatically correct according to the prescriptive grammar rules laid out in the 1940’s. However, linguistic scholars do not operate on so strict a pendulum anymore. Notice, too, that Lamar is not actually breaking any grammatical rules, only playing with the purpose and form of his syntax, when we take into account the dialectical intention with which he uses “it been” as a poignant use of the past participle form of the verb “to be.” Thus, the simple sentence of “it is” changes into the “it been” as a subjective call first to his cultural dialect and to the thematic gesture of the song. As the phrase “it been” leaves out the helping verb “have” which would put the phrase into present progressive tense should it be present; however, it’s noticeable absence as a stiff detraction from prescriptive grammar rules, focuses Lamar’s thematic point on moving the audience to mediate on the past as it intrudes on the present time. His use of language discrepancy between prescriptive and descriptive rules focuses recognition on his dialectal culture and on his main thematic point as it hinges on making sure to notice where you’ve been in life in order to stay humble and live with authenticity. He is a masterclass on descriptive grammar being used in such a beautifully artistic way that I am damn near in tears for his music.  

Okay, moving onto to your point about poetry not being grammatically correct. You are quite wrong here, because poetry "plays" with syntax but it does not throw the rules out. Much like the example I laid out above, poetry does the same thing wherein it plays with prescriptive grammar in a thoughtful way that often ties into the moral or theme of the work. Poetry centers on a different form of syntactical methodology... yes, you are right. However, the emphasis is still on the necessity of understanding grammar structures like poetic feet, meter, rhyme scheme (etc). It's not a free-for-all. The best poets of the last 6 centuries have been some with the most linguistically precise sentence structure that I've ever read. I can give you examples, but if I do that this answer will become a million words long.  

I am, however, sorry to have struck a nerve or come-off like a know-it-all. I was only expressing my frustration that Taylor Swift is apparently one of the biggest artists in the world and she doesn't even bother to ask a friend if the meaning of her phrases gets lost in excessively languishing grammatical structures. For instance, in her song “Chloe or Sam or Marcus or Whatever” she is stacking so many phrases hinging on coordinating conjunctions that the meaning of the phrase itself loses any poignant message. She writes:

Named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus And I just watched it happen As the decade would play us for fools And you saw my bones out with somebody new Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school And you just watched it happen (Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus).

In this stanza alone there are 6 coordinating conjunctions stacked together, interspersed with additional prepositional phrases and 2 extra relative clauses. It is the most egregious run-on sentence I have ever seen published before. I've seen better, cleaner prose in the work I've graded from High School freshmen. Not only could she have said it in less words, but the way she is writing it makes it drag on and on. The meaning gets lost, and any emotional impact is shut down because people get lost in the wordiness.

It’s a failure on her part, and it’s clear how just writing a run on sentence with no meaning is so much different than the way that someone like Lamar is masterfully arranging language to fit his purpose.  It's offensive that she gets to make a million-billion dollars off so little effort. 

Sorry, I wrote you an essay, but I am so incredibly passionate about writing. Also, I’ve been listening to Lamar a lot today because of his recent diss track, and it just reminded about how much of a lyrical genius he is. Sorry, I detoured into a rant about how cool he is too. And I need people to understand that I am not critiquing Swift because I need to dunk on someone in order to bolster my own sense of self-worth. I just want better mainstream art, and I want people to have better, stronger art with which to engage.  

I did not mean to hurt your feelings.  You are quite right that obsession with "proper" grammar is bullshit; however, I am not looking for some old fashioned "proper" nonsense. I want people to write like Lamar, with intelligence and passion while he bends the notions of grammar, not like Taylor Swift with obvious run-on obfuscated and stupid phrases.

edit: Also, good writers do actually worry about grammar. It has to do with illocutionary forces behind the phrases. The best among us knows the language inside and out, and that is why they are the best writers.

Edit 2: Also, I've been thinking about this, but what do you think literary and poetry critics do? You say it's bizarre to critique Taylor Swift’s poor grasp of the English language? Of course, I'm critiquing that... she's the one who calls herself a writer. I don't go around checking everyone's grammar, but if you call yourself a "good" writer and a poet, obviously expect people to analyze the words on the page.

[max1461]

I have a lot of thoughts about epistemology and the nature of procedural knowledge. Studying linguistics really impresses upon you just the sheer amount of human knowledge that is procedural and implicit. Languages are these huge, ridiculously complex systems, and even when it comes to the most thoroughly documented language in human history (English), you can still make an entire career documenting as-yet-unknown minutiae of some corner of a corner of the system. It's very difficult to impress upon non-linguists just how big and ill-understood languages are.

There is no book which explains the whole of English grammar. No one on earth knows the complete rule-set of English grammar. Not even for one dialect, not even for one single speaker. No one on earth could write a comprehensive treatise on English pronunciation. We do not know how English works. We do not know how any language works.

And yet, these systems are, in their entirety, already stored in the mind of every native speaker.

When it comes to synchronic information, I literally already know everything there is to know about my dialect of English. I know the timing of every articulation, the exact rules for verb and auxiliary and quantifier placement, the phonology, semantics, syntax, the lexical variation, the registers, all of it. I can deploy it effortlessly while I am thinking about something else. I can form reams of perfectly grammatical English sentences without a second thought. I can deploy the most arcane rules of wh-movement and quantifier raising and whatever else. With no effort at all.

Tens of thousands of people having been making careers trying to document these things, not for my exact dialect but for varieties essentially the same as mine, for 60 years in earnest. And they aren't close to done. And I already know it all. And so do they! They already know it too! The hard part is accessing it, putting it down on paper. That requires experimentation, systematic empirical investigation—science.

So what this has really impressed on me is how much of human knowledge is procedural. How much of it is known only in the doing. I'd wager that's the significant majority of what we know.

This is related to two thoughts that I have.

The first is about the value of unbroken lines of cultural inheritance. With language, the difference between native speakers and second language learners is stark. I think it's safe to say, per current research, that someone who learns a language in adulthood will simply never have the same command of it as someone who learned it in childhood. There are a variety of tests which consistently distinguish native from non-native speakers. You can get very good at a language as an adult learner, good enough for basically all practical needs (except being a spy), but there's a bar your brain just cannot meet.

The unfortunate fact about language is this: if the line of native-speaker-to-child transmission is ever broken, that language is lost. You can try to revive... something, if you want. Like was done with Hebrew in Israel. But it will not be the same language. And not just in the sense that, by the passing of time, all languages inherently change. In a much stronger sense than that. No matter how big a text corpus you have, no matter how well documented the language is, there is an immense body of implicit, undocumented, procedural knowledge that dies when the last native speaker does. And you cannot ever get it back.

I think, often, about the fact that so much human knowledge is procedural, is used and understood and passed on in illegible, difficult to codify ways. I think about the effect that a rapidly changing world has on this body of knowledge. Is it going to be essential for human prosperity? Probably not. But that doesn't mean that losing it will harmless. Certainly I expect much of it to be missed.

The second thought is about an epistemic distinction that I've had in my head for a long time, a distinction I'd like to refer to as that between a science and an art.

An art is any endeavor for which there is an established methodology, an established set of procedures and rules. These rules can be explicit and codified, like the rules of a game, or implicit, like the grammar of a language. They can be absolute or they can be mere guidelines. But in essence, an art is anything you can get good at. Math is quintessentially an art. Football is an art. Ballet is an art. Painting is an art. An art is any endeavor in which procedural knowledge is acquired and channeled and refined and passed on.

Art contrasts with science. A science is any endeavor in which one is shooting blind. Science is the domain of guesswork and trial-and-error. Sciences are those domains that do not lend themself to practice, because... what would you practice at? You cannot get better at science, because science is not about skill. Science is about exploration. It necessarily involves forging your own path, working with odd and faulty tools and odd and faulty ideas, trying to get them to work. Science only exists at the frontiers; when a path is well-tread enough that a body of procedure becomes known and practiced, that path is now art and no longer science.

This distinction is not a taxonomy. Everything we do involves a little bit of art and a little bit of science. Everything involves both a refinement of known skills and an exploration of new avenues. Of course there's a little bit of science in painting, there's quite a lot of science in painting. Every modern and contemporary art museum is full of it! And there's science in math, every once in a while. And there's art in biology and chemistry. Art and science are two modes of engagement, and different endeavors demand them of you in different ways.

Perhaps science is like a glider (you know, from Conway's game of life?), traveling ever outward, and with enough passes over the same area leaving art in its wake. And I think in some sense that all real human knowledge exists as art, that all endeavors capable of producing true insight are either arts or sciences buttressed by a great many supporting arts. Although maybe I'm wrong about this.

I think history is mostly science, and in large part history as a field seems to be on quite solid epistemic footing. So I don't want to convey the idea that science is inherently dubious; clearly from the above description that can't be my position. Nor is art inherently trustworthy—for instance I think jurisprudence is primarily an art, including religious jurisprudence, which of course I don't place any stock in. But I do think I'm getting at something with the idea that there are a range of epistemic benefits to working within an art that one lacks access to in a totally unconstrained science. This is also closely related to my ideas about abstraction and concretization schemes.

Language is an art, one of the oldest arts, but modern linguistics is more or less a science. Like any good science, linguistics has certain arts unique to itself—fieldwork and the comparative method come to mind—but the most vibrant parts of the field at present are science through-and-through. It's a science whose objects of study are arts, and I think maybe that's part of why I've become so aware of this distinction. Or, language is the ur-example of an art, the art from which (if I were to conjecture wildly) I think the cognitive machinery for very many other arts has been borrowed. But I don't really know.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

[cassiopeia-grimm]

A new beginning

Explicit 🔞 NO minors allowed

⭒❃Summary - After realizing her mistake, she returns to him to try and make amends. But is it too late to make amends?

⭒❃Pairing - Davis Mitchell x F!Reader

⭒❃Contents - Fluff, Angst, bestfriends to lovers, smut

⭒❃Word count - 1611

⭒❃ A/N - English is not my first language so if you spot any mistakes just bare with me. I'm sorry if I've made any syntax, spelling or tense mistakes.

This fic doesn't really follow the plot. I'm making my first attempt at writing a fic.

⭒❃ Credits - photos (pinterest) (edit by me)

For an autumn refreshment, the air isn't too bad. It's even mild. People are playing with leaves on the ground and children are running around laughing. But here I am, in front of my best friend's house. Well, former best friend…

I wonder if he's sitting on the couch right now, watching our favorite movie by the fire. Or playing video games.

I loved these little moments with him, it was relaxing and there was no judgment or criticism, we were just ourselves. Thanks to these moments, I had a crush on him, I actually fell in love with him. How could I not be in love with him, he's adorable, helpful, loyal, funny, a little destructive around the edges but he's also incredibly sexy.

I remembered that in high school all the girls were crazy about him, everyone wanted to be him. He was one of the best quarterbacks in our high school and I was proud of him, just like he was proud of me when I passed my science report.

I remember he often won games and I was in the stands cheering him on. I wasn't ashamed to shout his name so he'd know I was there for him. Those were the best years of my life.

Even though all the girls wanted his attention, he stuck by me. He once told me that I was more interesting than any of them. I remember blushing and hiding my face on his chest. Just thinking about it made my heart beat faster. I miss her touch, her warmth…

I wish I could go back in time and tell her I loved her. If I hadn't been such a coward, I'd never have lost him. Instead, I went off to see someone else. Still, I kept thinking about Davis, how he'd managed to hold my heart in his hands.

I was stupid…

The door opens, snapping me out of my reverie. He's standing there, his gaze soft and sad at the same time. Did he know I was coming?

“(Y/N), you came?” “Wh-what? How did you…” “Come on in.”

He stepped aside to let me in, I stood there skeptical, but finally entered after his nod.

Why, did he let me in? He should hate me, though. His house was simple but very warm, everything inside was comforting. If I looked carefully, I could see that he had always kept our things in common. It brought tears to my eyes.

As if reading my mind, he approached me and smiled.

“I couldn't let any part of you go so I kept them.” “Why?” It was all I could manage to say. “Because you're part of me and I can't live without them.” “What do you mean?” I said, puzzled.

He looked at me as if it were obvious, as if all the pieces of the puzzle were in front of me.

“Come on, shall we sit down for a bit?”

He guided me to the small living room, and I sat down next to him on the sofa opposite the fireplace. There were already two mugs of hot chocolate on the base table. Was he expecting someone?

“To answer your question, I was waiting for you.” “I know you're mad at me…” “Who told you I was mad at you?” “After what I did you should be!” I exclaimed. “But I'm not and do you know why?”

I nodded so he could continue. Deep inside, my heart knew why, but it wanted to hear it from his lips. Even if the other side thought otherwise, how could such an incredible man love a woman like me.

“Because I've always loved you and even now you drive me crazy, and have since we were little. Every time my parents and I came to your house, I had…No I needed to see you.”

I couldn't help but blush at his statement, it was as if I were dreaming at that moment. I lowered my head with a smile on my lips as I realized it was real after all. “Tell me why you left with Ryan?” He gripped my chin with his thumb and forefinger to force me to look at him.

“I left with him because I thought you'd never want me.” “That I'd ever want you?” Davis questioned.

The more we talked, the closer our bodies got, until our knees were pressed together. This sudden closeness gave me butterflies in my stomach and then his gaze on me drove me crazy. How had I not noticed all this before?

“I was madly in love with you and I still am. But I want to know one thing, do you have or still have feelings for me?”

I saw in his eyes that he was looking for an answer, an affirmation. So all I could do was offer him a tear-filled smile. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and brought his face close to mine, until our foreheads touched.

“I'm still in love with you, Davis, but I was too afraid you'd reject me.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He put his hand behind my neck and tried to pull me closer as if he still had distance.

“I could blow up the world for you, (Y/N). Oh lord, you know how much I love destroying things, but not you, you're far too precious to me.” We couldn't help but laugh at this simple sentence, admittedly cute, but a little psycho.

Standing next to him, I take in his features. His storm-blue eyes, his thin, pink mouth, his muscles trapped in his plain shirt and freckles dotting his face and little wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. He had become even more handsome.

“You know, I like it when you look at me like that.” He smiled wryly. “But stop!” I could bet that by this time, I'd gone all red.

I put my head in his warm chest and hugged him tightly. Meanwhile, he started laughing out loud and I felt his hand move up from my neck to my head to caress it. He always knew it calmed me. “I've always loved your laugh.” “I know.”

“That's a pretty pretentious thing to say, you know?” I laughed “I'm only pretentious with you.” “But seriously, what do we do now?” I murmured, intrigued. “We could start by taking our time and then see?” “You're probably right, only time can help us.” “When you have doubts, (Y/N) come to me, okay? I don't want to lose you again.” I nodded to let him know I agreed. “I'll also come and see you if I'm not well or have doubts too.”

He took me in his arms and tightened his hold on me, as if afraid of losing me again. Before I knew it, he lifted me onto his lap and caressed my back with his two large hands.

I felt something thick and hard against my crotch and knew I was close to his cock. I never imagined it would be big and hot. I know he told me to take our time, but after three years of not seeing each other I couldn't resist another minute.

I began to discreetly rub my clothed clitoris against him. This new sensation was driving me crazy and I wanted more. I felt his hands squeeze my buttocks and push me even closer to his erection.

“Please, (Y/n) don't stop.” He moaned

He kept asking me not to stop and that's what I did, I didn't stop. I rubbed myself even harder. His grunts and groans became very loud. He couldn't stop making these obscene noises, worthy of a porn movie. The fact that it was him having this effect made me even more excited.

He suddenly took my head in his hands and kissed me with such force. It was as if something had awakened. The grip of his hands was harder but softer at the same time. After open-mouthed kisses, we pulled back to breathe. Her eyes had become darker and more intense. I'd never seen that kind of look coming from him.

“Fu-Fuuuuuck, I knew you were meant for me, darling.” My hands survey his body, touching his pecs and bulging abs, until they reach his big erection. I cup it and start making circular motions around his cock. “FUCK! If you don't stop now, I'm going to cum in my pants.” “Oh yeah?” I smiled wryly. “Please, baby go slow, you're making me super sensitive.” “Don't worry, honey, we've got plenty of time.”

I placed my lips on her neck and began to suck the soft one below her ear. I could feel shivers run through his body, smiled in victory and continued with more determination. He started moaning and grunting again, but it was more desperate envy.

“Shall we continue into the bedroom?” “I'll follow you.”

I never thought my best friend would become my boyfriend…

[in-the-key-of-f-major]

(I)dentity

Two stuffed tigers and three tiger figurines decorate the shelf above my desk, all five intentionally given to me because, every year,

in late January or early February, I tell people: I am a Tiger. The third of twelve animal signs in the Chinese zodiac. I receive red packets and well wishes from relatives, because

I am Chinese. But in what sense? I have an official Chinese name, but not even my parents use that name to address me, the name for which

they carefully selected the characters, to bless me with the meaning.

I speak English as a first language, but the way I enunciate my consonants and my syntax makes people question my upbringing as a local. Living abroad for one year as a 5-year-old, I soaked up someone else's accent and bits of their culture.

For one year in my teens, my family sang the national anthem of the country where I turned 6 years old. Land of the free, home of the brave. But we haven't lived there since.

Who am I, really?

I have relatives in other countries.

In Hong Kong,

I struggle with speaking Cantonese. My taste palette is different. I do not enjoy red bean soup. The moment I speak, any illusions that I am local are shattered.

In China,

I struggle with more advanced vocabulary when speaking Mandarin. I am Chinese, but in what sense? I am a foreigner here.

In Malaysia,

my grandparents left behind family on both sides. I have relatives whose relation to me I am unsure of. They speak Chinese dialects. I do not know how to address them when I meet them.

In Australia,

when I meet my extended family once every few years, we exchange hugs and we comment about the differences in weather, what counts as a long commute, and the type of English spoken in each other's countries.

I speak Singlish sometimes, the pidgin that is a symbol of my nationality. I am reminded that I hold one of the most powerful

passports in the world. When I make friends from other countries, they praise my country's cleanliness, safety, transport, and airport.

I am Singaporean.

But if my history had gone differently, would my national day still be 9 August?

Every year,

I see the red and white flag in the wind.

One white crescent moon and five white stars against a red background,

The plain white lower half of the flag.

The flag I know and love, decorating doors and windows of my fellow citizens.

Everywhere I go,

this is what I know.

I am Singaporean.

[strayg0dss]

Tecchou vs Tetchou: on spelling and romanization

Have you ever wondered why the official English manga uses "Tetchou"? And official merch from Japan "Tecchou"? Why is the fandom so split on spelling? What is correct?

I'm hoping to answer some questions here :)

[Tl;dr at the very end]

Please note: I'm not a native Japanese speaker. I am, however, a linguist. I've dealt with Japanese linguistics (everything from spelling and syntax to phonology) on an academic level and I'm actively learning Japanese at university. Okay? Okay. Then let's dive into this!

1) Romanization?

Romanization is the act of translating Japanese words that are originally in kana/kanji into the Latin alphabet. The romanization that's mostly used (in English manga & anime) is the Hepburn romanization. It's based on English spelling and pronunciation!

This mostly goes for consonants, meaning the J in Jouno is pronounced like the J in Jungle. Vowels are a bit different but we won't get into that now. Important is: based on English spelling and pronunciation.

2) The っち in Tet/cchou?

てっちょう

-> Te "sokuon" chi "yōon" u

Let's break it down: the first hiragana is a small tsu っ (called sokuon). It makes the following consonant, in this case, the ch of chi ち longer. Usually, it simply doubles the consonant in writing:

っこ -> kko

っし -> sshi

But for っち, according to Hepburn, not cch is used. But tch. Why? ...🤷‍♂️ (the actual explanation given on Wikipedia is "because the perceived consonant that's doubled is [t]" but then why is the s of shi doubled, and not shsh? But I digress...)

If you're not familiar with this specific rule, it wouldn't occur to you to use tch and not cch! Because it usually doubles the written consonant!

According to strict Hepburn romanization, Tetchou is more correct:

But there's more!

3) Tetchō? (A small detour on ou vs ō)

According to Hepburn, vowels presented in Hiragana (as in ちょう chou) can be translated separately as ou, or using ō. There are more variations of this that are correct. But these are the most common ones.

But then... wouldn't Tecchou be wrong? Well...

4) Spelling (and fandom)

As I mentioned, the spelling is based on English pronunciation. tch and cch are the same in that sense. You would pronounce them the exact same way. And, as mentioned, cch is the more intuitive translation. Japanese publications use it. Fans use it. And that's okay!

Fans have always chosen spellings selectively. When did you last read Gojou instead of Gojo? Chousou instead of Choso? Both are more "correct" according to the Hepburn used.

Essentially, it doesn't matter if people use Tetchou/Tecchou/Tetchō or any variant. As long as you don't use Techou. Because that means notebook (てちょう). Don't do that. The っ does very much make a distinction in meaning here and must be translated one way or another.

5) Romanization and linguistics

Japanese linguists (those who speak Japanese natively and write about Japanese) often write their academic papers in English. They tend to use different romanization methods depending on the paper. And they're inconsistent as hell.

You can read a paper on Japanese morpho-syntax and a word can be transcribed a certain way on one page, then in a slightly different way on the next!

This is just to put into perspective that romanization is simply a tool that people tend to use however they want. Even scholars!

As long as the meaning doesn't get lost, cch vs tch doesn't matter that much. Again, Japanese publications use cch! English ones use tch. It's okay!

There are cases where it matters for the distinction of meaning!!! But Tecchou vs Tetchou isn't one of them.

Tl;dr:

According to strict Hepburn romanization, Tetchou is correct. But Tecchou is a more intuitive translation when you follow most Hepburn rules except for this special one, which is why lots of people and Japanese publishers use cch. The double consonant tch/cch is a meaning distinction from other words, so it must be used. But which one you use doesn't really matter, it has the same outcome.

[silvercap]

Thanks for the tag @goodpointsandbadpoints!! :)

When did you start writing?

I have a notebook from when I was maybe... 5? with a story in it haha that actually was even whump before I redacted that part sjdjsds. Pretty much the second I learned to read and write I was obsessed with it lolol. Just always been an English major at heart smh 😭

It was very occasional when I was a kid, but I've had ongoing WIPs since middle school when I got a phone and could write them on the bus haha. Was mostly original stuff then, but there was a lot of it.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I'm uncertain what this question is asking exactly, but I don't think they differ? I tend to gravitate towards the hurt/comfort content and unfortunately have not read enough non-school novels lately to have a clear answer...

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I don't think so! And lol I don't know if I've ever been compared to anyone either. I do like the punchy wry-smug-sarcastic character narration that was a staple in a lot of my favorite books as a teen, but I can't name anyone in specific haha.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Lol. It varies 🤷‍♀️ usually at my slightly-messy desk locked away in my room, but sometimes in bed on my phone 😭

I like to be comfortable, and I have a weird hang-up about people looking over my shoulder so I don't ever really relax and get into a flow if I'm out in public.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

My brain is a hamster on an endless wheel so it just kinda... happens. I'll do something or say something or watch something or hell, talk about something, and suddenly there's just an idea to work with. Fragments, of course, but usually talking it over with someone helps shape it into something write-worthy.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hurt/comfort, for one; particularly unwavering physical comfort from a caretaker character to another that's just too out of it to even do anything for themself. I like that sort of hazy half-conscious headspace in any way it appears, so I guess maybe themes of consciousness...? Not choosing to delve into the hut/comfort part but something something taking care of someone who can't let anyone do it any other way. Rescue, protectiveness, body horror, loss of control/autonomy/clarity, etc. usually show up a lot too. Laughing even though things hurt/even though there's really no reason to be laughing. I've discovered that every character I write usually ends up having a very wry sense of humor/smiling when it's not really appropriate, at least until I determine whether or not it actually fits them as a character lol.

What is your reason for writing?

I would die if I didn't!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I just want them to like it as much as I do. Do my best to convey the vision in my head as vividly as I can I guess, and I want them to think of me as someone who can do that... if that makes any sense at all. This is a hard question!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think my technicality and syntax-ical (?) ability is definitely what I always work to improve, and I think I have a fairly decent understanding of the flow of writing. I think I'm also very creative!

How do you feel about your own writing?

It's pretty good. Could be better; not always my best work, but I have some good ideas in there that I really am proud of :)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Usually it's just for myself I guess? Maybe for people I talk to, I sometimes do a little for them, but I don't think I'd write anything my heart wasn't already in haha.

Tagging @thebrandywine @fonulyn @colesabi @resident-rats @samblerambles @velkyr @sleeplesstories (I think you write...??? sorry if not sdhsdhs) @achingheart-gentlehands (same to you sdjsjds) and uhhhh I guess anyone else who wants to join in! No pressure and I apologize sincerely if I've forgotten you I promise it wasn't on purpose lolol

[thinkinginscripts]

you know, it's a strange feeling not having english as your first language but to frequently consume content in this context because most of the fanbase is part of it.

thinking in English is easy (being on tumblr for a long time helps you to get used to it) so understanding stories has never been a problem for me. but i'm starting to wonder if it doesn't mean that i don't know A & C only in this standard, with all those words that we know are always addressed to each of them, the universe and the personality that are developed over and over again. sometimes, through words that i know what they mean, but that don't exist in my language so precisely. even more often, when i feel that these identities could easily be registered in something that my language knows very well.

i know it's a silly thought, given the language that the canon is told, but i love this universe and it would be a lie to say that i don't think much about things related to it.

however, l wrote this big ass text to exchange ideas and contextualize my point, which is to ask you if you also have any particular feelings about the identities of A&C in the fanfics and canon. do you feel strange reading about both of them in a context of personality that goes far beyond what the fandom usually proposes in fanfics?

i apologize in advance for the out of nowhere question, and feel free to ignore it absolutely if you want. you had a question for me once and i know you talk a lot about fanfic reading, so i thought about passing by and sharing this thought i had. hello!

Hello, this took me a few day to respond to as i've been mulling it over. It's an interesting point you make at the start of your ask, and not one I've considered before, about distinct language. I think this is probably because English is my first language, I am actually English, and from London. So the language used to describe A&C (their features, personality and so on) is so close to my own, that I'm not conscious of it being a "distinct" register. But when I think about it, I can recognise a distinct vocabulary, even a grammar and syntax - which we read repeatedly in GO fanfiction which is part of the English language, but is subtly different when used in a GO context. And that links to your actual question - I read a lot of human AU, and there is, without doubt, a consensus developing among writers around how A&C's personalities present in human form (with some variation based on creative interpretation, and of course, some exceptions to this rule - i'm talking in for the most part).

I think it's wonderful how fans/fic writers have developed an AU 'standard' simply through discussion on here (or perhaps reddit), and through multiple fic iterations, where we have recognisable non-cannon traits we can all agree belong to either A or C.

This, in turn, has created a form of language which fans understand and agree on, which has obviously taken inspiration from cannon but it is clearly not cannon. Aziraphale's excessive use in fic, but not in cannon, of "my dear/dearest/darling/dear boy" is an obvious case in point. And as I say above, it is English, but with subtle differences in emphasis. I can think for example of the word "saunter", which when used in fic to describe Crowley feels slightly different to when I might hear the word "saunter" in everyday life.

I hadn't considered it before but it is possible that people who extend their English language skills through reading GO fanfiction might come to understand the meanings of some words slightly differently to how they are usually used in everyday English. Or they might learn vocabularly that is actually quite unusual (no one says 'scrumptious' anymore, no matter how many times you might read human Az say it).

Thankyou for asking me something i've not really reflected on before, reading as I do with my own native bias! I don't know how common it is for a fandom to develop its own non-cannon standards for AU and cannon-adjacent fics, but I do think it's wonderful we have and are still doing so, and another sign of how the GO fandom has a presence and nature intependent of its creators (which is more important than every now).

[evilpenguinrika]

How about 4 and 73?

Ask Game For Fanfic Writers

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

OHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYY. I actually have a few I believe. But I'll share a few since this would end up getting way too long lol (plus I would have to comb through my backlog to remember):

I have two plus one rewrite ideas for Ikarishipping. The rewrite is basically just a whole rewrite (for the second time in my life) of my biggest at-the-time on-going fic Bluebells and Lavenders/re: Bluebells and Lavenders that I posted way back on ffnet. The reason being that when I first wrote BbaL I was like, 13-15 and got a really nasty flame comment (I am showing my age with this lol) about my grammar and writing syntax, plot, etc and like, at the time despite English being my first language, I just could not understand grammar or the basics of the English language (look, words are hard okay 😥).

So I decided from that flame comment I was going to rewrite that fic and I did when I was 16-17. But since then my writing and style have changed and I would like to rewrite it and post it on ao3. I think I haven't gotten around to it is because it's just... A lot to do. And a lot to plan. When I rewrote BbaL and wrote re:BbaL I had meticulous notes that I have no idea where they are now.

The other two Ikari fics I want to write, one is insp by Marianas Trench song "Haven't Had Enough" which I also originally wanted to do a Cosplay Music Video back when I was 15-16 because why not lol. Plus CMVs were really popular back in my day (OH GOD I USED THAT PHRASE). I'm not sure if it's still popular now? It would be, also a Modern AU/College AU I think? I haven't really thought that ahead other than "slow burn rivals to friends to lovers" LOL

And the second idea is just inspired by the song "SUPERMODEL" by Maneskin. I'm not sure what the root idea would be other than maybe Paul and Dawn are both huge top models...? Yeah, I hadn't really gotten too far with this idea haha.

Another plot bunny I had on hold is a Hosie one actually! Actually I have a lot but I'll share two:

One is a Modern AU and it's actually inspired by my time working on student films. Except this idea is more Josie has a webseries and brought in friends from her film school days to help her out and Hope is the cinematographer. I started writing it actually, around the same time I was working on my own webseries. But since my webseries project went caput, I haven't found motivation to keep writing this fic.

The second is a Life is Strange 1 AU where Josie is Max Caulfield and Hope is Chloe Price. I wanted it to also be like a "choose your own adventure" type fic as well where at the end of certain chapters with BIG decisions, you would then pick your choice between 2 options and skip to whatever chapter your choice would be in. I think the reason I haven't done this is cuz it's also pretty hefty to write, and also doing a "choose your own adventure" is gonna require lots of meticulous planning that I don't have the spoons for.

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

Definitely like a movie in my head!! It helps me more when I picture the scenes I want to write in my head and then I just figure out the words from there.

It's especially helpful when I write fight scenes! I watch a lot of anime and other action-based shows (recently binge watched Cobra Kai and watched some clips from The Magicians since I miss that show a lot), so when I write fight scenes in my stories (mainly You're The One Born To Save Hosie series), I just visualize the fights/actions like an anime. I mean, I already mucked up the magic lore in the TVDUniverse so I might as well keep going with the artistic liberties and flair with it haha. Plus, it's really fun writing these anime-esque action fight scenes :3

.

thanks for the ask!!

[alocalsofa]

------------------------------- slides below --------------------------------

i've been really interested in idiolects in fictional dialogue recently and since it's winter break now (before exams..... hilf mir....) i had some time to type it up!

i will be using austrian german as an example (because who needs sources if you're your own source am i right) but if someone is interested in the studies i used i can link them :)

1. General

2. Nationality

3. Phonetics

characters having a noticable accent in english can lead to some misunderstandings!

one real life example i had some time ago was saying "dey" instead of "they" in passing, and a friend thought i said "day". subtle misunderstandings in character interactions can create a more lifelike feel in your writing.

to add a personal touch, you could use apostrophes at the end of some words to mimic their speech pattern! just make sure to not go overboard, because it can become tiring to read - there's also personal preference.

4. Syntax

another interesting one imo. especially with gendered language, there are so many nuances you could add down to what adjectives they use to describe objects and how that links to their gender (yes it's not syntax but shhh).

the other one if pretty straight forward - some slavic languages also don't have a given order for wh-question words (who, what...). switching up the order in english could be one of their idiolect traits!

5. Lexis

WORDS!! that second one is a personal problem i have from studying in the uk.... they say aldi, the germans say aldi.... we for some reason say hofer. always takes a bit to get used to

6. Further Research

are you also a linguistics enjoyer? do you also want to make your work ridiculously detailed? welcome to the cool kids club!

7. Extra Factors

this one is a bit more complicated, just because it means you have to thoroughly know your character's backstory!

it can definitely help with making their dialogue sound more alive and human - even if they are nonhuman, what in their speech could give that away? do they have any effects in their voice? any patterns?

i hope this has been helpful for some or just interesting to consider! :)

[karlachismylife]

Either the next part of the Queen of the Clan will be a longer one or I'll break it up into several... I don't mind bigger parts but I think it's better to keep them consistent. If anything just so that no one expects me to make them long each time... dunno dunno I'm kinda enjoying myself writing this one but it somehow feels like I'm dragging it. Spending too much time on the wrong stuff. Also I kinda got creeped out by a sudden realization just how much my writing style in English differs from my native language and it feels bad cuz I feel like while I have somewhat of established style in my language, I brought none of its distinct traits into English cuz I lack the skill and the language knowledge.

So my writing in English is just very simple, bare and I'd even say stupid. Too straightforward. Not descriptive enough, not enough feelings, especially since I use a lot of unconventional comparisons, play with speech styles and word building to get the effect I want in my language, so like. Basically my English writing is shit and I have no idea how it ever could evoke any emotions beyond something very forgettable like "aww cute" or "haha funny" because I write about fluffy animals or use potty humor. Kinda primitive.

Honestly this is just another 3am selfhate phase, I'm gonna go sleep and suffer and probably take a pause in the chapter to write some ask replies. And I beg everyone who might read this not to take it presonally if it comes across as "wow anyone who enjoys my writing must have bad taste", cuz that not what I meant. If you enjoy it, it's all I ever wanted.

I'm just yelling in the void cuz I hate myself and also I am weirded out by the fact that I get so set back with my writing just because I switch languages. The more I think about it the more it upsets me, so I really should go to sleep. If I don't manage some ask replies tomorrow, I'll post one thing I prepared, it's not a fic, but it would be neat if people shared it, cuz it's for fic writers. Yeah. Goodnight!

UPD. Also kinda self-conscious that there are many writers that are also non-native English speakers yet they manage to write brilliant things, while I can't even grasp normal syntax and shit. Bleh. Don't like myself at all.