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celestial-fucking-weeb · 4 years ago

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NAGĀ!SERO

Hey y’all! This is a part of the Citrus Server Hybrid!AU Collab! The masterlist is HERE, please please please go check everyone’s pieces out!

A/N: I am fully aware that this is all over the place, ya girl is off her meds and will edit later. Please don’t tell me it sucks, I already know and I hate it, too.

SERO HANTA X F!READER

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, angst, smut, double penetration, aphrodisiac, interspecies miscommunication, size kink, breeding kink, mating, idk tell me if i missed anything

You had always heard stories about creatures in the forest; ones that eat humans, ones kidnap children, ones that would hurt you if you ever ran off by yourself. You didn’t believe them… Or maybe you did, but either way, the creatures could never be as scary as the life you already lived.

You had been taken prisoner when your coastal village was raided by pirates. Your clan’s viking warriors were off on a journey, leaving all of you oh so vulnerable with depleted numbers. They were going to kill you, like they did most of the others, but the pirate setting fire to everything in his path halted when he found you trembling under the rubble.

“Tomura, come see the new toy I found. Don’t you wanna keep her?”

“You sadistic bastard, how you get off to them crying like that never fails to make me sick. I don’t care what you do with her, Dabi, but I’m not cleaning up after you this time.”

They hauled you back to their ship, stripped you of everything and chained you in the hull. People came in and out, always different but always vile. You never spoke, you knew they wanted your screams. Overhaul, the captain, was the worst. You never knew when he was coming, and once he was there, you wondered what he wanted from you at all. Chained up, never touching you with anything but knives and his boots, not looking for your reactions… You wondered if he’d even notice if you stopped breathing. You dissociated for most of it, choosing instead to safeguard your mind, plan an escape.

About a year later, you found an opportunity in the carelessness of one of your captors. You docked someplace warm, someplace humid, maybe tropical? Toga had left your chains too loose after your last “date”, and had tossed the keys just a bit too close. As soon as she left, you had slipped your wrists out of the restraints, strained for the keys, and unlocked the shackles around your ankles. Not taking a moment to revel in the surreal feeling of being unchained, you listened until the heavy footsteps above you all faded into nothing, leaving the ship and most importantly: leaving you alone.

You ran. You ran so steadily, somehow comforted by the sounds of destruction getting further and further away. You found yourself blindly sprinting into a forest that looked nothing like your own, so damp and bright and warm. You kept running until you heard shuffling behind you, causing you to find the first thick vine hanging in your vicinity and clung to it as you climbed. Looking back, you see a simple boar grazing the forest floor. Sighing in relief, you relaxed a bit too soon, as the vine you had wrapped yourself around began to move.

Before you could react, you were wrapped up tightly in bands of muscle and brought towards the head of the- wait…- man? You had heard of nagā before, but the ones from your village’s stories were never described as so… tan, muscular, handsome. He didn’t look all that mean from the waist up, just the black, orange, and yellow scales trailing down his massive, strong tail seemed intimidating. He looked confused, concerned even, by your nakedness and panic stricken silence. Forked tongue flicking out to taste the air, smelling the blood and the abuse on your skin, seeing your quickly defeated body give up, and your mind resign itself to the comfort that at least you died free of your captors.

“Are you… okay?” The giant snake rumbles, human hand reaching towards your face and recoiling when you flinch.

You haven't spoken in months, your silence having been a security blanket, and you’re not ready to give that up. You do nothing, just look into his eyes and search for any sort of indication as to what he’s going to do. He loosens his grip a bit, just enough to slip down from his tree and head towards his hide- an old cave covered in ivy, moss, and little orange blossoms. He brings you in, and places you down on the ground before turning away to rummage through his things. He brings out water and bandages, along with some kind of salve that looks like a mixture of plants. You don’t reach for the water when he sets it near you, so he resorts to using the tip of his tail to bring it to your lips while his hands are busy tending to your wounds and gently rubbing the salve over your poorly healed scars. He offers you food, very confused when you don't seem to know what to do with the forest rodent he’s brought you, and decides on fruits he’s found. You don’t seem to want to do anything, not even going to sunbathe even though you’re obviously shivering.

THAT’S IT!!! SHE’S COLD! He thinks to himself, before wrapping his tail around you once more and bringing you outside to the rock where he typically warms himself. He gently places you down, uncoils you from his grasp, and gives you enough space to move as you please. You blink a few times, slowly realizing you’re free. He helped you? For no reason? He doesn’t know you…

“H-Hi… Thank… Thank you.” You mutter, looking away and blushing.

Cute… He thinks. “YOU TALK!!! What’s your name? I’m Sero, but you can call me Hanta! I was worried about you! Who are you? Why are you here? How did you get here?”

The line of questioning makes your head spin, and you try your best to answer before looking down and realizing you never found clothes. Blushing once again, you meekly gesture to your body and ask, “C-Clothes. I need clothes.” Hanta looks confused, but retreats to the cave and returns, bringing you a large piece of cloth that somewhat resembles a hemp blanket. It smells like oranges and spice, and you unconsciously snuggle into its comfort. Sero notices your calmed reaction to his scent and approaches you, gingerly grasps your ankle and picks up your leg, never having been so close to a human, and explores the strange angles your appendages bend.

“What are you doing?” You seem embarrassed, despite the number of people who've touched you before. This is too familiar, too intimate, almost too gentle.

“Tiny… Humans are… Small…”

You let him bend your limbs and play with your squish, strangely calm and trusting in his presence. He seems so enthralled by your body and how you move, so intrigued. That is, until he makes his way to massaging your plush thighs, causing a rush of arousal you hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. He prys opens your legs to continue his ministrations, not knowing the smell of your lust would have him flicking his tongue out and his eyes turning to hyper-focused slits. He suddenly releases your legs, slithers around your back, and presses against you. He taps the top of your head with his chin and waits for your response. Not knowing what this means, but wanting him to continue his exploration, you lean back into him and whine quietly.

You have no idea what you’ve started.

Hanta leans down, pressing sweet kisses down the column of your throat and leaving scathing bites in all the right places. Aphrodisiac venom coursing through your veins, you don’t even register his muscular arms wrapping around your body and lifting you, carrying you back into his cave and up into his hammock. He wraps his strong tail completely around your torso and takes his time kissing and groping your soft body, mumbling “mate, mate, mate” into your heated flesh. He finally makes his way down to your mound, prying your thighs apart and diving straight in before you could question his reverent gaze.

“HANTAAA~” You practically screamed as his long tongue slipped between your folds, running along your clit and down to your clenching hole, his saliva increasing the heat coursing through your core. “M-More, please… More~”

“More, what?” He smirks against your heat. “Say it. Tell me I’m your mate and I’ll make sure you’re fucked dumb, yeah? My pretty little mate.”

You stutter for a moment, getting more desperate the longer his fingers drag along your wetness. “Mate… Please! I need you… I’m yours!”

“Good mate~” His tongue wriggles back into your cunt, and his fingers slowly move further down to stretch your tight ass, making you squeal in surprise. Your orgasm takes you by surprise, all thoughts abandoning your mind as you ride out your high on his face and fingers.

“Are you ready, little one?” He growls lowly, lining up two long, thick cocks with each hole. Your eyes widen in surprise, head clearing for a moment after your climax.

“T-two?! Wait wait wait, I’ve never… I can’t! Two?!”

“Oh, little mate, but you can and you will!” He punctuates his statement by spitting down onto your cunt, thick venom slipping down to your tight rim. You moan and grind against his cocks, aphrodisiac leading your body into a blissed out state of submission. “Gonna fill you up so good. I promise you’ll be so full, feel so good, little mate. Trust me?”

“Y-yes! Wanna be full, want my mate!” You beg and plead for him to push into you, hips bucking against him, trying to get him to satiate the burning want he’d created. It isn’t until you thread your fingers through his hair and wrap your legs around his waist that he thrusts into you completely.

“That’s it, wrap around me like that. So tight, so warm… Fuuuck!~” Sero pants, chest pressed tightly to yours and face tucked into the crook of your neck, licking and sucking deep marks over your pulse point.

You’ve never felt so full, your body strangely welcoming the pleasurable stretch of your holes, pulling him deeper and deeper until you can feel him in your belly with every roll of his powerful hips. Your whimpers and tears only seem to spur him on, drawing orgasm after orgasm from your body.

“S-Shit, keep squeezing around me like that. Come on, little one, I know you have one more for me. Cum with me, I wanna feel you cum one more time. Gonna breed you, gonna fill you so good. Come on, pretty mate- fuck- cum for me~” He reaches down and pinches your overstimulated clit between two fingers and bites down on your neck one last time, sending you over the edge with a cry of “breed me, breed me, breed me!” and nails digging into his back.

“Mine! My mate, pretty little mate. Breed mate, all mine!! Gonna- gonna… Ah~” Hanta’s words steadily fell from his lips as he released deep inside your holes, belly bulging from the sheer amount of seed he spilled into you.

Utterly exhausted and dreamily floating off, you cling to him. Sero wraps you up in his tail and lays back into his hammock, keeping you as close as he can. When you snuggle into him, he whispers little praises into your hairline, a constant stream of “so good, pretty mate, all mine, i love you, so perfect, did so well, took me so well, such a good mate”.

The next day, you wake up surrounded by soft cloth, feathers, fruits, fluffy furs, a dozen shiny objects and pretty dried flowers. You sit up, looking around frantically for your mate before your eyes settle on a sheepish-looking Sero, wiggling nervously around the cave.

“Um… Do you… like it? I made it for you… I just- please tell me you like it!” He shrinks himself a bit, arm coming up to palm the back of his neck.

“Oh, is this a… nest? It’s- It’s very nice. Thank you, Hanta!” You smile softly at him, curling up into your nest and reaching out for him.

“MATE!!! I’m so happy you like it, I was so nervous!!! My mate. You can stay here all the time, so I can protect you, forever! My pretty little mate.~” He climbs into the nest and coils himself around you, content to guard you.

Maybe this time, being kept isn’t so bad.

#sero hanta #sero hanta x reader #hanta sero

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strangesmallbard · 2 years ago

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Top 5 fandoms you've had the most fun in

1. swan queen/swen - god what can i say! i was in this fandom from the very beginning, when it was just a tiny masterlist of fics. a lot of who i am comes from my time in swen, from my creative sensibilities to some of my very best friends. it was enthralling it was exhausting it was chaotic. i have over 60 fics on ao3. i was forged in swen like a gay sword. #benched

2. bering and wells - i wasn’t as active in b&w, but i will always appreciate the dedication and creativity from this fandom. immaculate au game. i also watched hg’s return in a video stream with a bunch of strangers and will never forget the rage coursing through our veins when we realized they gave her a random boyfriend. it’s so sad there was never a s5! :(

3. wicked - my first fandom! i literally found FFN because i was googling wicked for any possible way to engage with the story after i saw the musical live. there was much more good than bad, including some longterm good friends. however, i encountered some homophobia that hindered my own coming out arc at 14. if anyone was in the bored authors society on FFN hmu!

4. the worst witch - such a fun, mostly drama free community! we were there to ship miss hardbroom with every adult female character in sight, and we had a fabulous time. i also got to contribute to fanon in a tangible way - idk if this is known tm, but my friend came up with the ship name “mumbroom” and i popularized it! i may also be responsible for the nurse!julie hubble headcanon, but i honestly cannot remember.

5. xena: warrior princess - i honestly missed the initial fandom by a good decade, but there was a resurgence on tumblr about twelve years ago and we had a BLAST. i’m also eternally grateful for the x/g shippers of the 90s and early 2000s, as they paved the way for us all. (shoutout to @xenaboob you are a good boob!)

#explosionshark #ask

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shoichee · 4 years ago

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Rose-Tinted

Craving for angst with kise please!! Like both are afraid to act on their feelings which ends up hurting the both of them unconsciously. Idk, maybe kise is trying to “test” the girl, but went a bit too far i guess. Whatever floats your boat!! I just want angst but maybe hopefully still HEA in the end (or whichever your muse takes you) ;-; thank youu ❤️

Kise x Reader

Word Count: 6975

Note: oh my GOD, HELP THIS WAS 17 PAGES ON MY GOOGLE DOC I COULDNT STOP MYSELF………. angst, happy ending, fake dating!au, mean old kise ….. girl idk WHAT I WROTE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ????? reader POV first half and kise POV second half~

@knb-kreations

»»—————　☼　—————««

He holds you so gently, the touch so feather-light as he cradles your head and dips his own head in for a soft peck. The warmth of his lips makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel, things that you still chased for more in a never-ending cycle. You hold onto his hands thumbing your temples to try to anchor yourself further into the bliss, but it ends all too soon when he separates from you and gives you a radiant smile.

You were rudely pulled out of your rose-tinted trance when you heard gasps and chatter amongst the gawking students nearby, particularly Kise’s fans. He doesn’t pay any mind to their reactions and turns his friendly demeanor towards them.

“So you see everyone,” he cheerfully says. “I’m sorry I can’t accept any of your affections, as much as it flatters me so… after all, I have my dear (y/n)-cchi by my side!”

Groans and cries rung throughout the campus as most wail about missing out the opportunity to be Kise’s romantic partner, but before you can listen to their laments, Kise hurriedly tugs you away to the privacy of the back of a building nearby, away from prying eyes and ears. He drops your wrist just as fast and yawns with a stretch.

“What time should we meet up tomorrow?” he casually says, taking out his phone from his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Well, we can’t exactly sell our image of us being a couple unless we walk to and from school together consistently, right (y/n)?”

The rose-tinted lenses on your self-indulgent fantasy shatters to the ground instantly. You gulp, the swallowed spit hitting down to your stomach in heavy dread, where it was previously occupied by fluttering butterflies just moments prior.

This isn’t real.

“Ah… um,” you hesitated, thinking of a reasonable time, so you can wake up and get ready accordingly. “How about this time…”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, shutting off his phone before he walks a few steps away from you but then stopping. “Huh, uh… should I walk you home first? There might be some nosy people around, and we might as well get some practice in as an official couple.”

“W-Why don’t we start tomorrow morning instead?” you suggest. “A lot’s happened today, and well, I wanna have some time to myself.” Kise impassively stares at you for a couple of seconds before he forms a grin.

“Ah ha, well then, (y/n)-cchi,” he shouts jovially, making sure that his voice rang throughout the area for anyone nearby to hear. “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning, my love!”

“Y-Yeah…” you mumbled, your hand held up in a half-hearted wave. “See you…”

With that parting, you turned to the opposite direction to exit through the side gates to get to your home. Your mind scrambles to recall the impulsive decisions you decided to take on a whim today. The grip on your bag tightens as you finally realized what sort of situation you got yourself into.

You like Kise, plain and simple. You’ve always gazed longingly at him whenever his presence entered within your line of vision. You couldn’t even fault his fans for being so whipped for the basketball player in the first place, not when you felt like you were more enthralled by him than anyone else. So what does a love-stricken fool like you do when the source of attraction directly asks you to partake in a “relationship?” You immediately accept his conditional proposal on auto-pilot before he barely finishes his sentence.

It felt so wrong, yet so right. How can you hate this arrangement when you enjoyed that first kiss you shared with Kise earlier? But how can you love this arrangement when you knew Kise only kissed you to drive everyone off? You stopped on the sidewalk and heaved a huge exhale, and you continued to walk again, the action not even remotely able to clear your head. Your mind continues to swirl and race.

You agreed to this. He even laid out his intentions very clearly to you, and he was more than ready to leave you alone if you didn’t consent to this. But stupid, desperate you did. You were ashamed to feel even a shred of flattery when he told you that you were the only one he can ask to drive off his fans in this only effective method: a relationship.

“Why me?” you said, looking up at his casual posture. “Don’t you have someone you like to ask to be in a relationship? I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accept you…”

“Well,” he mumbled. “I don’t really have someone in mind… you’re kinda the only one who doesn’t drool over me whenever I’m near, and I just ought to ask for your help.”

“W-Well,” you slightly stammered. “I’m okay with helping you, right, so…”

“This isn’t something to accept so readily, you know,” he said, raising a brow. “I know this is super sudden, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to force an answer out of you right at this moment. Besides, I don’t think there’s any incentive for you to be in this either? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“N-No!” you interrupted, but you coughed to regain your composure. “I mean, I do have something in this… maybe if I got with you, people would stop trying to harass and tease me if I had someone like you by my side.” That was a half-truth, but you knew there was no way you could reveal your crush to him… not when he believed you were “different” from the others. But can anyone blame you for sticking up for Kise when someone was talking about him like a piece of meat rather than a normal person? “Besides, for you to get to this point, things must’ve gotten too chaotic to simply tell them to stop, right?”

“Huh… is that so,” he said, stretching his neck, but you didn’t know whether or not he intentionally ignored your last question. “Well, if you’re fine with this, I’m letting you know now that we’ll be doing actual couple stuff, like…” He pauses for a second to gauge your reaction. “Hugging, hand-holding… probably kissing too…”

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s fine with me! And we’ll have a code word in case either of us overstep our boundaries in any way… maybe…”

“Unagi,” he said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they’re the bane of evil…”

“It’s just a dish, but…” you laughed, giddy at how he already showed a different side to you apart from his cool persona. “Alright, let’s go with that.”

How long were you able to keep this up? You pat yourself on the cheeks to dismiss the rest of your fantasies. If you keep this up, Kise will soon notice how you actually were head-over-heels for him all this time, and surely you’ll lose any future chance with him. Besides, maybe you can use this unique arrangement to learn about Kise and his hobbies other than basketball. Yes, you tell yourself, jogging the rest of the way home. It won’t be so bad, after all.

———

Starting today, you’ll be officially dating Kise.

That’s how it is on paper, anyways.

How are you supposed to act while dating the Kise Ryōta? Equally cool and flamboyant? Athletically capable? Would you weird out Kise if you were the one initiating physical affection?

“(y/n)!”

You flinch, not expecting anyone to call for you so early in the morning, and your walking route to school was never shared with another student as far as you were concerned. After all, your path was a little more obscured and unorthodox compared to the majority of students traversing the main neighborhood paths.

“Sorry… did I scare you?” You stop and turn to the source of the voice, only to be surprised when you see Kise himself. “Why do you look so surprised? Didn’t we agree on the time to meet up and walk to school together?”

“Oh… yeah…” In the midst of your thoughts, it seems that you forgot the arrangements you made with him yesterday evening. “My bad?”

“Oh, come on,” he gives a mock-hurt face with a hand to his chest. “Am I that forgettable, (y/n)?”

“N-No!” you immediately deny. You knew it was more like the other way around, the way constant thoughts of Kise preoccupy in your head too much. How can you ever forget him when he constantly runs through your mind everyday for so long? Kise merely gives a good-natured sigh before he changes the subject.

“Kidding,” he says, holding out a hand to you. “Seriously though, get your act together. We gotta start acting the part if we want this to work.” You stare at his hand, hesitating for a split moment before you put your own hand on top. His large hand easily encompasses yours, and the warmth makes you widen your eyes. It… felt nice.

You were so entranced by your linked hands that you failed to notice how Kise was staring at your face with a sharp glint in his eyes, but when you look up back to his face, he easily morphs his expression into his signature grin. He swings your hands around like an excited kid and turns to walk ahead to tug you along.

“Alrighty!~ Let’s hurry together before I get chewed out by Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Kise, have you ever considered that it’s not really your tardiness that gets the captain mad but more so about the way you seem to irritate him with the way you skip around?”

“(y/n),” he says with a pout, “you know you’re not being convincing when you use my last name to address me as your boyfriend.”

“R-Right,” you stammer, still not used to the entire situation. “Ah… wait. Don’t you uh… call people who are close to you with -cchi?”

“Huh…” he mumbles, looking up at the cloudy sky before looking ahead of the path. “Not necessarily people who are close, just people who I really admire. I guess I addressed you like that yesterday without really thinking.”

“U-Uh, right… sorry.” He stops walking with your hand still in tow, and you almost bumped into his back at his sudden movement. He turns to you with a quite serious look.

“Do you want me to call you that?”

It was a normal question, but for some reason it felt like the next sentence coming from your mouth would make a huge impact on the way the two of you would interact in the future. From the way Kise looks at you with such a scrutinizing gaze, it feels like a trick question, and you’re not sure how to answer it. Your mouth goes dry when you try to reply.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Kise’s eyes widen a fraction before he gives an unexpected chortle. “Pfft… how do you not know what you want to be addressed as?”

“Arrgh, oh shut it!” you frown, hitting his arm in a fluster before stalking off ahead. You remember that you were supposed to go to school together, and you begrudgingly stop and turn back to wait for him to catch up. “Ryōta, just call me whatever you want. You’re already calling me by my first name, so I doubt anyone would care if you added -cchi or not.” Still, your cheeks turn pink at the realization that Kise would be uttering your first name for the next couple… whenever this relationship will last.

“You… wait up!” Kise wheezes dramatically, despite the both of you knowing full well how easily he can catch up to your stride. “You really shouldn’t be treating your boyfriend like that! Especially on the first day!” Kise holds your hand again to lead you to the rest of the way to school.

All the while, you’ve been staring at his back, your heartstrings being tugged so mercilessly at the cacophony of emotions you were feeling the whole time. He felt so warm, so inviting, but the way he held your hands felt cold and transactional.

———

You’re not sure how to react whenever Kise introduced himself as your “boyfriend” to everyone or whenever nosy students inquired about your new “boyfriend.” All you could do was gulp and manage the most convincing act you could do within different contexts. Smile, laugh, get bashful, be modest in talking about how Kise managed to “like” you, pretend you know many embarrassing stories and sides to him that no one else did. Truthfully, you were just as in the dark as anybody else.

You think the only reason why everyone bought the couple-act was due to how enamored you were in talking about him. This was the only response you could be truthful about. At least you could use your huge crush to your advantage in portraying yourself as the “lovey-dovey” half of the couple. Yet it feels unbelievably wrong.

You knew you had to prepare yourself some preset answers for curious students, but you didn’t expect yourself to be participating in neverending “interviews” in these social settings. You thought this relationship would entail a closer access to Kise’s true self, but things suggest otherwise.

“Ryōta,” you say, peering up at his face as the both of you walk down the hallway to your designated spot for lunch together. Even as you two walk, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you when there is no one in close proximity. Even when you two are together, he only grabs your hand when it’s socially convenient. Even when Kise approaches you to talk, you know it’s never anything beyond for the sake of acting. And you agreed to this entire thing.

“Hm?” He spares a glance to your figure before returning his gaze ahead.

“Uh, I brought extra food today,” you say, trying to use this situation to try to express your genuine feelings to him in small increments. “I brought an extra bento box too… in case, you don’t wanna actually share one…” He was about to reply before a pair of students turned around the corner to head towards your direction. Kise narrows his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, and immediately turns to you brightly.

“(y/n)! You really thought that I wouldn’t like the idea?” he pouts. “Of course I wanna share a bento with you! Silly…” He slightly bends to your level to place a chaste peck on your forehead.

“Ah…” you freeze at his soft touch, your legs stiff in place as you stop walking. Kise, in response, moves his lips to your ears, and you slightly shiver at the unexpected intimacy… it was the closest he’s gotten to you ever since that public stunt when he kissed you in front of everyone the other day.

“Hey, don’t just stand there… you can’t overreact like this over something couples do everyday.” You bit your lip in an attempt to stop your heart from sinking from disappointment, but in turning your face to him to spill an apology, your face ended up right in front of his. Your eyes widen but he only stares at you with such an intensity that makes you hold your breath in anticipation.

But he immediately draws away and stretches with a yawn. “Looks like those people left right after they thought they intruded on a private moment between us,” he says. “Sheesh, people really do the most to be so nosy nowadays.” You wonder how he can be so casual about this all. Perhaps it was a mistake to be here like this when you were so in love with him, overthinking every single thing he did.

Why didn’t he kiss you this time? Did he not find you the teensiest attractive enough to want to kiss you even without an audience nearby?

“Come on,” he mumbles, waving a hand through your face. “Quit making that face. I won’t be doing that to you without warning anytime soon. My bad, okay?” Kise sheepishly holds out a hand for a handshake to make peace, and you wordlessly take his hand. One day, you’ll stop being his special someone to savor his warmth…

No, you thought, you’re an idiot… he’s never considered you as someone special.

You debated in telling him that you were fine with him kissing you, but you hold your tongue, afraid that he’ll realize your true feelings about him. Besides, were you really okay with him kissing you when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings?

“It… wasn’t like what you think,” you hesitate. “It just caught me off guard.”

“Well,” he laughs. “That’s a relief! By the way…” He stops to settle himself on the bench. “What’s exactly your lunch? Since you went through the effort to bring extras, I guess I’ll eat them.”

“I packed salmon from leftovers I had from home,” you reply, taking out your bento box and utensils. You decide to shake off your negative thoughts and shove them to the back of your mind. He makes a horrified face at the lunchbox. “Kise, what’s wrong?”

“Do you… happen to have anything else packed?”

“Rice?”

“Well,” he coughs. “I’m not a fan of dishes with boned fish.”

“Didn’t you say you hated unagi too?” Kise shyly averts his gaze before he reluctantly confirms it so. “They’re delicious though! Especially when they’re grilled!” At first, he refused to answer, but the more you tried to poke and prod (literally too, at his ribs), he finally gave in.

“Alright, alright! But I swear, you better not tell anyone!… I choked on a fish bone one time…”

“… And?”

“And yeah.”

“You choked on a bone once and you got scared out of eating fish—”

“Shhhh!” he hushes, emphasizing his hiss with a finger to his lips. At this very moment, you saw a glimpse into who Kise really is, and you can’t help but bust out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in front of him. In embarrassment, he bonks your head with his fist to get you to stop laughing, but it only makes you more conscious of how close he is to you.

But just as quickly and telepathically, Kise puts some distance between the two of you, sitting closer to the edge of the bench. He opts to hunch over casually and keenly watch you scarf down your meal in minutes without a care.

You wonder if you should feel guilty for enjoying this moment with Kise, even if he was only waiting with you out of obligation of being your “boyfriend,” but right now, you allowed yourself to indulge, letting your heart beat sporadically without guilt and fear for once. You continue to savor your lunch in silence, concentrating on munching around the fish bones, while Kise sat in contemplation all the while.

———

“You should come watch our practice game today, (y/n).”

“Eh?”

You tilt your head at him in confusion. It’s been two weeks since you started this arrangement with him, but nothing extraordinary or groundbreaking happened between the two of you, much to your despondency. But you knew, you shouldn’t be asking for too much when you already have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be close to him like this.

“There’s going to be a lot of people coming,” he explains. “Even if it’s just a practice game… it’d be weird if you weren’t there, because, you know, we’re dating.”

“I don’t mind going,” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

“You know, you’ve been agreeing to everything I’ve been suggesting the entire time,” he mumbles to himself, but he zips his mouth shut when he sees you instinctively moving closer to try to catch what he said. “Uh, in any case… just stop by the gym whenever you can.”

So here you are a few hours later, being the first person to settle yourself on top of the 2nd floor of the gym. You rest your arms on the railway, fascinated by the Kaijō basketball team and their skills. As they warm up on the courts, it’s the first time you see Kise truly at ease and happy with the people he cares about, and your heart pangs in jealousy seeing his genuine smile. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you realized the gym became completely crowded, the constant chattering announcing huge crowds along the entrance and the lucky watchers at the 2nd floor with you.

You didn’t mind the onlookers when all you were focused on was Kise throughout the entire game with a smitten look, and you weren’t surprised when his team easily won against the other local school.

“That’s Kise isn’t it?” You were about to turn to leave the higher floor to wait outside the gym when you heard his name. You stop to eavesdrop on the conversation next to you.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about him way too much. Something about him dating now?”

“He’s dating (l/n) right now, which is super weird because they never even talked… and all of the sudden, they’re dating? I didn’t think of him to be into short-term flings.”

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

“Hey,” you interrupt, scaring the two girls out of their wits before they turn to you. “I don’t think you should talk about Kise like that when all you know of him is through speculation.”

“Ugh, here we go again with his fans…” one of them groans, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get it, he’s good-looking and all, but I don’t understand how you can defend him to death when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you… ah… shit, you’re (l/n)?” A flash of hurt was visible on your face for a split second before you frowned. Their words unintentionally hit the nail in the coffin.

“Whether I’m (l/n) or not doesn’t really matter,” you say angrily. “Gossiping about anyone like that isn’t something you should make a habit out of.”

“Jeez, let’s just leave,” the other girl whispers, dragging the first girl along.

You simply stand there watching them leave, but you can’t shake off what they said. They were right… how could you be so whipped for him when you know he’ll never see you the same way?

“Oy!”

Kise’s voice brings you back to your consciousness as he waves at you from the court. “You’ve been standing there for a while! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind, (y/n)-cchi!”

“Coming!” You race from the 2nd floor to the ground level to catch up to him, your heart pounding all the while. Did he… did he just…?

You shake your head before you reunite with him to walk home together. Stop it… don’t overthink it.

———

Kise waits at his usual spot to wait for you before walking to school together. It’s been three weeks since he’s approached you to “date.” He’s grown quite comfortable with this arrangement, being close to you and backing off when it’s convenient. After all, if you somehow showed a gruesome true self of yours, he’d be able to separate himself from you with no consequences… even if his heart would cry out not to.

“Ryōta!” There you are, running down the path towards him so cheerfully. Could you really be an awful person when you have such a pure smile like that?

“Ah, (y/n)-cchi,” he says. “We should hurry if we wanna be inside campus. It’s a little chilly today, so being indoors sounds really nice right now.” He peers over to your face to see your nose slightly red from the cold, and he huffs out a chuckle, noting the warm puff of air escaping from his own lips.

“I guess it’s a little cold today,” you say, looking up at Kise with a slight childish wonder. “Hey, that’s a pretty cool cloud that you puffed out.”

“You have some clouds around you too.” He gently smiles, and he notes that your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Wha? Is my face that horrific, (y/n)-cchi?” You avert your gaze as your cheeks grow just as red as your nose.

“Nah… i-it’s nothing…ah—” He holds your cheeks to turn your face back to him, and he draws near with a serious gaze, bumping his forehead against yours.

“You’re actually really cold…”

“Uh, um… I don’t think I’m c-cold anymore—” you stammer, your eyes darting to look everywhere but his face, and Kise’s eyes only scrutinize your behavior further.

“Hm, if you say so…” he mumbles. Your eyes flutter close at the anticipation, and he feels the pull towards your lips, closing his own lids shut…

Wait, what was he thinking? He snaps his lids open and slightly draws himself away to look at you, still vulnerable with your closed eyes. It’s only when he drops his hands from your cheeks and turns to walk ahead when you flutter your eyes open again. Don’t let your feelings for (y/n) blind you into figuring out who they really are.

“Come on,” Kise calls out to you. “We should get going… we don’t wanna be late.” Besides, what if there’s a possibility that you don’t really like him at all?

“Y-Yeah…”

The rest of the walk was in silence, with Kise slightly ahead of you. Perhaps if he turned around at least once to check on you, he would’ve seen the consequences of his actions.

You were silently crying the entire walk.

———

Nothing seems to change much for the entire month. The way the two of you dance and sway around each other, while never being too close, never being too affectionate, never being completely honest. In this shared rose-tinted world, the frail glass that holds these moments together threatens to break with every fickle interaction. Every shared kiss constitutes another small crack to the rose-tinted crystal.

And both of you are content with just the way things are.

Or that’s what you both mutter to yourselves like a mantra.

“Ryōta!” you call out to him. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really,” he says. “I just barely got out too… the teacher was really lenient on dismissal today, actually.” His heart swells at the sight of you as usual, but just as quickly, he’s always managed to quash his emotions in check.

For the first time, you initiate physical touch with him without hesitation, linking your hands with his and snuggling up to him. He flinches, not fast enough to process the sudden warmth of your body, and he immediately separates himself from you. Do you actually like him after all?… No, something is up, right?

“Ryōta…?” You flinch just as severely from the sudden reaction, and he turns to avoid looking at your face, knowing that his resolve would crumble right in front of you. He’s a coward, and he fucking knows it.

“S-Sorry, (y/n)-cchi! I don’t know what came over me like that, but you know you don’t have to force yourself to do things like that, right? There’s no one here, so let’s just walk home together like we always do, yeah?”

He turns to already walk ahead, too afraid of hearing your response and hoping you would follow and catch up to him… like you always do.

You simply stood there for a few moments, anguish clear as the sky above you as you keep telling yourself to manage your own expectations. Still, your voice croaks out quietly to respond to him, even if you knew he wasn’t going to hear it.

“… But I wanted to do these things with you, Ryōta.”

———

It’s been several days since that incident.

It was very awkward for the most part, the walks to and from school silent and suffocating. He’s not quite sure how to go about it while trying not to sound disingenuous about it. Nonetheless, even through his quiet apology, your face still lights up, and he’s confused about why you would ever be so forgiving of him.

Although today, lines have been crossed and this shared secretive world between the two of you have completely shattered to the point of no return.

It was quite a blur, an instinct that Kise has developed over the course of this relationship. Every time a group of students drew near, he was always ready to tug you close for a kiss until they left and carry on with their day. Today was usually no exception.

Another group of students was hanging around the corner, presumably spying on you two, and Kise did what he’s always done, grabbing your hand and embracing you for a kiss. Your eyes were blown open in surprise, but when you saw Kise’s eyes elsewhere, something finally snapped inside.

You push him away at his chest.

“U-Unagi… unagi…” Your voice trembles, and you use your arms to cover up the fresh tears. The code word sounds unbelievably stupid out of context, but at this moment, the word alone stabs Kise in his chest. “I-I… just stop… please.” Kise stares dumbly at you, processing the fact that you just used the agreed safe word against him.

“… (y/n)-cchi?” Kise asks with a confused smile. “You’ve never objected to kissing before… I’ve even told you what we’ll be doing if you agreed to this…?”

“How…” you choke on tears. “H-How can you kiss me like that while your eyes are on someone else…?”

“I don’t understand—”

“A-Am I that atrocious to kiss unless you stare at something else or there’s some convenience?”

“I don’t get it, (y/n)-cchi,” he frowns. “Did you expect more out of this or am I missing something?”

“There was no reason to kiss me like that,” you softly wail. “Everyone already knows we’re a thing for… o-over a month now. There’s no reason to kiss me around people anymore when they won’t suspect us anyways…”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?” Kise’s heart sinks in thinking about where this is going.

“No!—you don’t… you don’t fucking get it! I don’t get it—! Why are we doing this anymore—I just, I see no reason to continue this anymore… you already shooed off your fans, right? Why haven’t you ended this?!”

“(y/n)-cchi—I…” He reaches out for you, but you immediately recoil.

“No—please… no more, I can’t do this anymore!” you sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this… I’m done, I’m tired—please… just look for another person to take my place… I… I’m done—I can’t pretend with you anymore when I always expect more out of it like a love-stricken fool!”

“I…”

“Look—see,” you choke. “I’m just like everyone else who’s in love with you, I’m no different than everyone else R-Ryōta… so that’s why, I-I… can’t do this anymore!”

Kise stands there, staring at you running away from him. It was like everything had gone silent, save for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears.

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

He hated rumors, he really did… but for the first time, he feels like he deserves every word thrown at him around the hallways and classrooms. His memory flits to the time when he felt warm from seeing you standing up for him, even if he wasn’t bothered by them before. Now, the warmth is replaced by agonizing regret and guilt wracking through his entire body. His hands feel cold with you gone from his side.

What has he done?

———

He’s grown quiet for the next week.

It’s been a week since you ran from him, and it’s been a week since he last talked to you.

Even his teammates were concerned about his reserved behavior, but just as always, he’s managed to shoot them a convincing smile. Kasamatsu was more persistent about this but eventually dropped it seeing Kise’s refusal to talk about it.

That day when you pushed him away, he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake the entire night. He resolved himself to talk to you the next day… but he changed his mind the last minute… and then he told himself he’d do it the next day… and then he changed his mind again.

He tells himself that it’s because you rightfully hate him, with the way you’d surround yourself with other crowds and groups to prevent him from walking up to you when you were alone. He tells himself that it’s because both you and him needed space to cool off and go back to the way you two were. He refuses to tell himself that it’s because he’s an honest-to-god coward.

He misses you. He misses you damn badly. Why the fuck did he go through such lengths instead of confessing to you straight up? He tells himself that he was being cautious. He tells himself that he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again. He refuses to conclude that it’s because he’s a fucking coward.

“I don’t know what’s been on your mind, idiot,” Kasamatsu says. “But you better solve this yourself quickly if you’re not opening up to me about this. We can’t have your performance quality be dropping even in practice. Hurry up and fix this shit with (l/n)-san already.”

“H-How’d you know?!” Kise raises his head from his desk in astonishment.

“Tch, idiot,” he glowers, chopping Kise’s head with a swift hand. “It’s too obvious from the way you’re moping around… from the way you two stuck together all this time, who wouldn’t notice something happened from the way you’re at your desk watching (l/n)-san like that?”

“O-Ow…” Kise grumbles rubbing his head. Ironically, his captain’s hit cleared up his doubts and he took a deep breath before exhaling. “Got it, senpai.”

“You better.” Kasamatsu goes back to talking to his classmates during break, and even despite not knowing the truth of the relationship, he manages to give solid advice as usual.

Tomorrow. He’ll find you tomorrow.

———

He doesn’t know where else to find you alone other than the place he’s always waited for you before you two used to walk to school together. So he stands there, almost an hour earlier in case you had the idea to walk to school extremely early to avoid him at all costs.

He was right.

Here you are, shuffling your feet as you trudged yourself along the path and looking down at your feet. You even manage to walk past by him without noticing his presence.

Even if you’ve grown to hate him, he’s willed himself to come completely clean about his feelings to you for once. But a part of him is thinking to change his mind again and just let you slip away from his fingers. It’d spare the both of you the inevitable, right?

“R-Ryōta…?”

He was pulled from his thoughts, startled to see you staring at him from a short distance away. Apparently you did notice him after all.

“… (y/n)-cchi…” He swallows his words, knowing full well that his stupid words might blow this up for him again, his words responsible for all the rumors at school, his words responsible for hurting you and will hurt you again.

He wordlessly walks up to you and holds your cheek, and waits. He waits for you to push him away again. He waits for you to say the code word to let him know that you don’t want him near you again. The thought of you running away from him nearly brings him to tears, but he gulps his emotions down and stares at you calmly, with only his upturned brows hinting to his inner turmoil.

“Ryō—”

He swiftly brings his head down and kisses you. In feeling the warmth for the first time in a while, he greedily drinks from your lips, holding your temples more firmly as he searches for more, more, more.

You push him away.

Kise immediately lets go and stares at you like a lost child, unable to mask the devastation from the implications of your actions. But you’re still gripping his uniform tightly, almost as if you didn’t want to let go.

“W-Why…?” you croak, biting your lips to stop any tears from breaking through. “There’s no reason to kiss me. Don’t you know that we’re done? There’s no one to watch us here, no reason for you to walk me to school anymore. You know that, Ryōta. After all, we haven’t talked since a week ago, and you have the audacity to come here and kiss me like everything is okay—”

“… I want to kiss you, because there’s no one around, because there’s no other reason for me to.”

“Why…?” your voice softens to a whisper. “Don’t you hate anyone who likes you in that way? I… I already told you that I see you in that light, like many of your fans do. Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate me for using this arrangement to get closer to you? Don’t you hate me for expecting something real out of this?”

“I already had an inkling of suspicion that you liked me, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise turns away to look at the bright morning sky. “I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not.”

“Then… why did you ask me to do this whole thing with you…?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he says, looking back to you. You were stunned into silence. For the first time, he finally admits what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks out loud, and his eyes, while drenched in shame, were full of resoluteness. “I liked you, but I was too afraid for the day when you ended up being not like the person I ended up liking. I liked you, but I was afraid of a real relationship that would tie me down. I liked you, but I was afraid of making huge decisions that involved another person into my life. I didn’t want to end the fake relationship because I was too fucking selfish… if I ended it, I’d lose the only connection I had with you… I’m sorry.”

Both of you went silent, bathed in the light of the rising sun. Kise drops to a squat to hide his face from you, and you knew he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. He knows how uncool he looks, but he had no right to cry when you were the one who got hurt the most.

“Ryōta, did you really find it difficult to kiss me…? Just… be honest.”

“Yes,” he looks up from his squat to stare at you with an intense look, even despite his puffy eyes. “Everytime I kissed you, I found it hard to control myself. I thought, what if you were using me to somehow get a kiss from me? or what if I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you and I ended up taking things too far? Looking anywhere but you at least stopped me from getting too invested…”

By now, both of you had turned completely red at his honesty, but he still found you frankly stunning even with your red, puffy eyes. “Look, (y/n)-cchi, don’t you hate me? I used you. The rumors are right—I’m a complete asshole. Just… I won’t blame you if you walk away right now.”

“You do know that I used this opportunity to get closer to you, right?… I wasn’t a saint about this either, so… I’m sorry too.” Both of you go silent again, and you slowly drop yourself to his level in a squat of your own in front of him.

“… C-Can we… can we start over?” you whisper, your warm breath tickling his chilled nose.

“(y/n)-cchi, I don’t think I’m capable of continuing this arrangement…”

“No,” you huff, before you tentatively press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I mean… can we… start over, but this time, as a real couple? I… want this relationship to be substantial. I really do like you, Ryōta.” You murmur against his lips with your hands on top of your knees, waiting for him to rebuke you away with an easygoing comment or a plastered smile.

But he doesn’t do any of that.

“I… guess we can try that,” Kise mumbles, gaze averted as his cheeks flame brighter than his nose and ears.

“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, your voice cracking at the end out of fear he’d turn down your request. Kise flicks his gaze back to you to see you equally red with a hesitant expression.

“Could you… close your eyes?” he asks with a frown.

“H-Huh?”

“Y-You don’t need to see me looking like a mess, I don’t look charming right now.”

“I… guess…” After a few moments of hesitation, you flutter your eyes shut, waiting apprehensively for his lips to descend onto yours again. Kise holds your cheeks and takes the time to admire your features for the first time, and his smile grows wider with every passing second.

‘R-Ryōta…?” Afraid of the fact that he actually may not like kissing you after all, you worriedly open your eyes, only to be greeted by the most brilliant smile from Kise, his figure illuminated by the sunshine hitting the back of his head at the perfect angle.

“(y/n)-cchi,” he teases with a small pout. “Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?”

Who needs a rose-tinted lens when the sight before you is already so radiant to behold?

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acelor-acetaylorswift · 3 years ago

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this might just be my questioning lithro self projecting but gold rush gives off such lithro vibes… daydreaming about it and being fine with it but waking up to when it could be a reality and being like ‘nope, could never be’

I absolutely agree! As a fellow lithro, this song hits hard. It could be an anthem. I hope you don't mind if I exposit a bit because I've wanted to talk about this!

Gleaming / twinkling / eyes like sinking ships / on waters so inviting / I almost jump in

As a lithromantic, I get enthralled with a person, and almost pursue a relationship, hence the dreamy music that switches to an intense beat and the production on the vocals dropped. She's woken up as she remembers:

But I don't like a gold rush / I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush / I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch ...

Ultimately, as a lithosexual or lithromantic, you get this wake up call that snaps you out of your entrancement--i loved dreaming about a relationship with this person, but at the end of the day, I am aromantic or asexual. these things make my uncomfy. It's too intense and too jarring. These lines feel more asexual, and I find the lines about not liking that everyone wants the person you like interesting. It could be "I don't like feeling jealous over you" or it could be "I feel uncomfortable with the fact that people see you in a sexual way because I am uncomfortable with sex." Idk if that makes any sense.

I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush / I don't like that falling feels like flying till the bone crush / everybody wants you / but I don't like a gold rush

This part to me reads more as aromantic romance repulsion. I relate to this a lot bc I hate romantic attraction now because I see how it has blinded me to dangerous red flags and I don't like the hold it will have over me where I'm obsessed with one person and wrap my happiness around getting together with them. Falling in love feels like the coolest thing until you hit a wall at 60 mph . Also Taylor apparently predicted WandaVision.

Oh and the end feels particularly poignant where you're like... what's wrong with me? Everyone wants you and I should too but I don't like this thing everyone says is exhilarating.

The next section feels musically like a daydream, falling down the rabbit hole, a tangent. You feel her putting her chin on her hand as she imagines what it would be like to be an allo. First we get allosexual--walking around his room naked like in a chick flick. Then alloromantic--going to dinner parties and being a Couple™. But she ultimately realizes it can't be--or perhaps the love interest realizes.

In the last verse, I feel like she wonders what it would be like to be allo again but then catches herself--i can't dream about you anymore, maybe the you referring to this allo version of herself she's imagining? Or maybe she's just saying I have to stop this dreaming about people b/c ultimately I can't be happy with them so I just get hurt and confused like jumping off a ship. and I'm right there with her if that is the case. This time last year I was obsessed with a guy and imagining our relationship and I had basically turned it all into folklore. But he didn't respond to my communication and falling turned into the bone crush, I did soul searching while doing this blog and realized I am never happy when I am into a person or looking for a relationship. I literally told myself, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.

Anyways, it's also a song written with Jack and I feel like those are the most vulnerable. It's one of the most interesting songs I've ever heard and probably my favorite off evermore. I apologize for writing a book in response to your very cogent, concise ask that basically says what I've just rambled on about for many paragraphs. Thanks so much for writing in! It was really exciting to get an ask, especially such a good one.

Good to meet another lithro 💛

#taylor swift #swifties #gold rush #evermore #lithromantic #aromantic spectrum #aromantic #asexual #gray ace #gray asexual #gaylor swift #ask #lithosexual

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passable-talent · 4 years ago

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ok roe hear me out. dragon!anakin Au. reader is a knight sent to kill him but when their helmet gets knocked of, Anakin changes to his human form and it’s like love at first sight or w/e. and then when the knight fails to kill the dragon, the village offers them as a sacrifice to the dragon, so Anakin comes and picks them up and it’s tense and idk what my point is but have fun!

OOOOOHOOHOHO HERE WE GO

we are combining the selki myth with a dragon myth because i. wanted to

do u ever not realize how much you need something in your life until you have it

The governing Council of Coruscant, a small village, was facing a problem, in the form of a dragon. A dragon which lived on the edge of their town and preyed on its people, or did, until they began offering it tribute. They offered the dragon, which they’d named Vader, food or gold, earning its favor so that it wouldn’t destroy the village or its people. It was tradition to name a dragon, in order to easier call it for battle or tribute, a tradition started many years ago by the little village of Tatooine shortly before the death of their dragon, Maul.

Maul had been destroyed by a young knight of the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan Kenobi, which made the Council of Coruscant turn to the Jedi Order. But Obi-Wan had grown older, and was doing more important things for the kingdom, and so the Order sent another young, talented knight, eager to do service to the realm.

You.

You rode to the village nearest to the dragon’s lair and continued on foot from there, your blade hanging at your hip. You carried a mystical weapon called a ‘lightsaber’- a magical blade which was made of solid light. It was the mark of a Jedi Knight, and the mark of your skill. No enemy could stand to you, not even a dragon.

You had been directed through the woods, to a large cavern that was enclosed by a mountain. It was said that the lair of the dragon could be seen easily from far away, but as you grew closer, and the trees thickened, it would become harder to find. Luckily, you had a good sense of direction, and when forest gave way to grasslands that lead up to a gaping mouth of stone, you knew you had found Vader’s lair.

You stalked toward it, silent in the light of the setting sun, hoping that the dragon would yet be asleep and its death would be quick. You only let your eyes come overtop of the stone ledge, your helmet blending in with the grey. You weren’t yet noticed, and so looked for the dragon, and saw it curled up around one of multiple piles of gold within the cavern.

It was a deep shade of oaky brown, almost grey, horns curling over its forehead. Thin wisps of smoke curled from its nostrils as it slept, and you knew now was the best time to strike. You would follow in the footsteps of Obi-Wan Kenobi and cleave this dragon’s head from its body, putting your name into history.

You heaved yourself over the stone ledge, gathering yourself to your feet. You padded silently toward the dragon until you stood overtop of it, nervous now, not to strike, but to stand so close.

“With me,” you whispered to your saber, the incantation that its magical bond with you responded to. It ignited for you and you held it high- but the sound had woken the dragon.

Its eyes were a piercing blue, chilling like nothing else you had ever seen. You meant to swung the saber down before the dragon could fully wake, but a great foot knocked you sideways, and you snuffed the blade so that it wouldn’t be in your way as you fell. Collecting yourself to your feet you found yourself face to face with a dragon, sparking its back teeth together, preparing to flame- and so you ran, knowing a fall from the short ledge was better than being broiled in your armor.

You tumbled down the hillside and came to rest at the line of trees, your helmet knocked from your head in the fall. You breathed hard, trying to right yourself through your dizziness, and looked up to the ledge, where you could see the dragon approaching, and tried to find your helmet before it attacked.

The roar of a dragon stilled you, and you ignited your saber again, holding it beside you while glaring upward. If you would have to fight it without your helmet, that you could do.

But then, something began to happen.

You could describe it almost like... molting? The dragon quickly lost size, and it brought its head back to its body, its scales shifting and moving until instead of a dragon it was a man, wearing a dragon’s skin cloak.

You paused, and stared, because that was a dragon a minute ago, and now it’s a guy.

“You’re not only a dragon, you’re a witch!” You shouted, running up the hill again, meaning to take him down now that he certainly had much less fire in his throat.

“A witch? Funny word.” You’d never heard a dragon talk before, and his voice was smooth, and it startled you. The closer you were to him, the more startled you became, as he wasn’t just any human, he was possibly the most handsome you had ever seen. He was tall, with broad shoulders, and those bright blue eyes had retained into his human form. Though there were fangs in his smile, they didn’t make the smile any less radiant, and he seemed to sense your hesitation as you approached.

“Be not afraid of being startled by my beauty,” he called down to you, making you stop dead in your tracks. “For I am enthralled by yours.” You snuffed your saber and hung it at your hip, looking at him. He clearly meant not to harm you, and so you raised your chin.

“Are you the dragon they call Vader?” You called up to him, just making sure, and he laughed, his expression bright and lovely.

“Yes, but my name is Anakin.” You tilted your head at him and gave him a small smile.

“Well, Anakin, my name is (Y/N), I’m a knight of the Jedi Order. I came here to kill you, as I’m sure you noticed.” Anakin laughed, lifting a hand from his cloak and laying it over the back of his neck, where your saber had almost been. From the motion you saw black claws where human fingertips would be, and darkened skin bordering scales on his forearm the color of his cloak.

“I did. You’ve changed your mind?” You looked at him for a moment with a laugh, then reached to your side to tug at one of the ties that held your armor in place.

“Yes, I think I have.”

“In that case,” he said, sitting down on the ledge, tossing his legs over it, “want to come up for tea?”

~~~

You returned the next day to Coruscant with scorched armor and smudges of dirt and bloody scrapes all over. You vowed that you had failed to kill the dragon after an epic battle, but you would return to Vader’s lair after you had healed, and you would try again.

Returned you did, and once again, you dredged home to Coruscant, Vader still alive. So you tried again- again, and again.

“Anakin?” You called as you reached the trees, climbing onto his ledge and shedding your armor at the entrance of the cavern, as you always did. He wasn’t there- but sometimes this happened, and he always returned soon after you arrived. You wandered the expanse of the cavern and investigated his hoard, but mostly you were entranced by the space where he lived: a loft-life area above the golden treasures that had been carved by dragon claws from the mountain. Within it were human luxuries- a bed, couches, a carpet, a fireplace like none you’d ever seen before. It was so comfortable, especially to you, after spending time on those couches with him. He brewed the most delicious tea.

When he still hadn’t returned you grew disinterested in waiting on the couches and went to his hoard again, looking over it. You wondered if there was more than gold within it, and dug down with the tip of your foot, curious if even in your casual digging you’d uncover a gem. The stones were the most interesting to you- you’d fashioned a small sunstone into the hilt of your saber, and yet it had been the only precious stone you’d ever seen.

You’d only been standing there for a moment when arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you from the floor. Caught off guard you grabbed onto the wrists, but you knew who was spinning you and placing you back down.

“Anakin!” you laughed, and accusing tone gracing his name.

“For a Jedi Knight, you sure do scare easily.” You shook your head, your smile fond, and with one hand shoved him gently, pushing him back from you.

“Where have you been?” You asked, letting him lead you up to his loft, his cloak almost billowing behind him as he walked. He had only gotten more attractive to you- the curl of his hair around his horns, horns admittedly smaller in human form, but still wicked and dark. His figure was exceptional, his smile was bright, his hands strong and kind.

“Visiting my mother,” he said, putting on a pot of water to boil. You were always colder than he was, so often he made you a hot drink when you arrived. “She gave me some advice.”

“Advice?” you repeated, sitting down on one of the couches. “About what?”

“Dragon stuff,” he said, turning to you with a playful sneer, “you wouldn’t understand.” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh yeah? Try me, Sparker.” His eyebrows raised as though you had caught him off guard, and his pupils narrowed into vertical slits briefly, a reaction you knew to be of self-defense. Was he embarrassed?

“Nothing, (Y/N), honestly. Don’t worry about it.” You indulged him with your silence, laying your head back into the cushion of the couch.

“I think Palpatine’s getting upset with me,” you said, steering the conversation away for his sake.

“Palpatine? You mean the head of the Council?”

“Yeah. I think he’s getting tired of me failing to kill you.”

“Oh yeah?” Anakin asked, pouring hot water into a mug to let the tea leaves steep within it. “Thinking about actually killing me to get him off your back?” You looked up, startled, at him.

“What? Of course not.”

“That’s good to hear,” he said, carrying over the mug and placing it on a table next to the couch, then taking a seat next to you. “Though I wouldn’t mind having you be the last thing I see.” You rolled your eyes and let your shoulder rest against his, nudging him softly.

“Charmer.”

“You know,” Anakin said, repositioning. He often sat so close to you like this so that he could wrap you in his dragon cloak. You hadn’t quite figured out why he liked to do it so much, but you allowed him anyway- it wasn’t like you’d complain about the warmth you felt from him and the way he put his arms around you. “I could always drop your charred armor and clothes onto his doorstep. You’d be able to stay, and they wouldn’t be upset with you.” You lifted yourself up enough to look him in the eye.

“You’d do that?” You asked him, and he tilted his head.

“Why not?”

“I just...” you trailed off, silent while he repositioned so that his left leg laid lengthwise onto the couch, and you sat between it and his other. “I didn’t realize you’d let me stay.” You felt him press a kiss down onto your head, and a smile grew onto your face. You pulled the cloak over your shoulder to cover more of your body.

“Of course I would,” he said, his claws lightly tracing your wrist down until he found your hand, and curled his fingers into yours.

“But no,” you said, turning your head to rest your cheek onto his chest. “I wouldn’t want them to think you’ve killed me. I’m a better knight than that.”

“True,” he said, pulling more of his cloak over you when he noticed how you bent your knees against the cold. “Then maybe, you could say you’re leaving, to come back with reinforcements, or better weapons, and instead stay here.”

“That doesn’t solve anything, Ani,” you whispered, reaching over your shoulder to run your fingers through his hair. “Then they’d still be blaming me for the fact that you’re still alive. And I could never kill you.” He turned his head up to kiss your palm, then resting his head back down into your hand.

“You’ll think of something,” he said, and in the comfort of the moment, you believed him.

As the sun rose you entered the outer limits of Coruscant, exhausted. Anakin’s nocturnal nature made these meetings easy to schedule but quite hard on your sleep cycle. You usually made it back only to have the older women of the village fawn over you, tending your wounds while you slept. You always returned burnt and bruised, though these wounds were self inflicted, to make it seem as though there was a battle. Anakin never hurt you- save for today, when you had insisted that you get a scratch across your jaw.

“I can’t, (Y/N),” he had insisted, holding his hands to his chest so that he didn’t even bring his claws close to you. “I can’t.”

“It’s alright,” you promised, “I’m asking you to. I know you’d never hurt me. I’d do it myself with a stone, but these people know what dragon claws look like.”

“Love, I can’t hurt you.” You reached forward with a gentle smile, lightly taking his hand into yours.

“Close your eyes, then,” you whispered, bringing his hand up to cup your jaw. You leaned into his palm, your fingers resting overtop his, and when you felt him relax, you pressed down hard onto his first finger, dragging it in a swift motion down your jawline and toward your chin. He gasped, opening his eyes, but you held his hand away, making sure that your blood dripped down your neck uninterrupted. You’d kissed him goodbye, promising him that the women of the village would treat the wound.

This morning, though, Palpatine himself was there to see you arrive.

“(Y/N), my dear!” he said, approaching you. “It’s so good you made it home alive.” You thanked him, knowing what he would ask next. “And our dragon? Have you vanquished it?”

“No, sir,” you answered, looking to the ground, feigning shame. “I did not succeed tonight. But I will return to try again.” Palpatine sighed, and before you could react, he had the guards of the council surround you. Shocked, you whirled, but did not ignite your blade. The sheer number of them overpowered you, chaining your hands in front of you.

“(Y/N) of the Jedi Order,” Palpatine said, standing in front of you on a platform in the center of the village, “You have failed to rid us of our dragon, and so will serve your final duty to Coruscant on this, the sixty-sixth day of spring- you will be a sacrifice to Vader, and with your death, will keep him from harming this village.”

“What?” you snarled, trying to take a step forward, but the guards stopped you. Your armor was torn from you until only your fabric clothing remained, and you struggled against every moment. “This is how you treat the people who are sent to help you?”

“As a mercy, you will be keeping your magic blade,” Palpatine said, tossing the hilt of your lightsaber toward you. “If you kill the dragon before he kills you, you are free to return.” You glared in Palpatine’s direction as the guards fashioned your saber to your waist, then as they lead you to the platform Palpatine had emptied. Here they had piled the sacrifices of gold and food for Anakin, and here they placed you now, looping your chains through a hoop in the center of the platform.

There was a trumpet that had become the sound of dread in the village. It caused all to run to their homes, in fear, because the trumpet called the dragon.

What would Anakin do when he was arrived? Would he recognize that you were the sacrifice, and spare you? Surely he would, he would recognize you- he had to!

How the people of Coruscant, who had loved you, who had put their faith in you, could do this to you- it was evil. You collected yourself to your knees, your arms held in your lap, chained down.

“I curse this town,” you said, softly at first, as the sound of the trumpet echoed throughout the valley. “I curse Coruscant and all who live within it. I curse you to the fire and death I sought to protect you from!” Everyone hushed as they saw a dragon, on the horizon. Everyone but you.

“I curse you to be torn, limb from body and flesh from bone, I curse you to the same end of pain and suffering that I will be given!” The dragon grew closer, its wingspan wider than the streets of the town, its nostrils exhaling smoke.

“I curse the Force from this place, may its kindness never guide you again!”

You trusted Anakin. You did. With your whole body.

Still, those slitted blue eyes studying you from behind scales, the massive form of the dragon approaching like a hunter with its eyes only on you, it was terrifying. You had tears rolling down your face, and you didn’t even know why. Anakin would never hurt you- he’d made that very clear, this morning.

But you saw his back teeth spark.

His fire, red and yellow and orange, shot forward, consuming the wooden platform you sat upon.

Your curse had worked, the townspeople would whisper. The dragon’s fire ate up the platform and left nothing behind, spreading to the nearest homes and buildings. As for you, though, there was nothing left- and everyone had been too concerned with the flames to notice how it happened.

Except for one old woman, who had known of dragons longer than most in Coruscant. She had kept her eye on the town of Coruscant and its dragon scourge, and its new knight. She was the first to open her home to you.

Shmi Skywalker watched as the dragon lumbered into the flames, and disappeared. And she watched as two figures hurried from it, wrapped in a fireproof cloak of dragon skin. She’d keep their secret.

-🦌 Roe

| part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |

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asmolbirb · 5 years ago

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Pairing: Geralt & Jaskier, gen Word count: ~1k Warnings: angst Notes: as i mentioned in this post, i couldn’t stop thinking of “two minutes” by the amazing devil as jaskier’s reaction to his fight with geralt in rare species, and i finally managed to write a ficlet exploring that idea. i feel like i’m just going to end up writing a fic to every single the amazing devil song because they’re all so emotional and incredible for inspiration lmao.

anyway, this is super unbeta’d and unedited, so this is still pretty raw both emotionally and creatively. sorry if there are any mistakes! idk if i’m going to toss this on ao3 as well, so please lmk if you’d like me to.

***

Jaskier drops heavily onto the bench across from Geralt, as though the earth’s pull has increased twofold in an instant and Jaskier is helpless but to follow. He drains his mug in one long pull, grimaces as he thunks it down on the table, and gestures to the barmaid for another. While he waits for her to walk over, he pulls Geralt’s mug out of his hand and drains that as well.

Soon a third mug is deposited in front of him, and a fourth in front of Geralt when Geralt turns a glare onto the barmaid. He expects Jaskier to bestow the same treatment on this drink as he had on the others, but instead Jaskier cradles the drink with both hands, his fingers interlaced, and stares into it as though it contains the lyrics to Jaskier’s next great masterpiece.

In all this, not once does Jaskier look at Geralt.

Geralt takes a long pull from his own drink, both to keep it out of Jaskier’s thieving hands and to avoid looking at the other man. Jaskier’s silence, once so coveted, now chafes. It’s a discomfort Geralt doesn’t want to examine too closely, so he ignores it, and it fades into the great tangle of bad feelings currently taking up residence behind his sternum.

Finally, without preamble, Jaskier says, “Let’s not do this whole song and dance where you pretend you meant what you said and I pretend the words didn’t sting and we go on acting like we are simply strangers whose paths crossed through happenstance.

“I did mean them, I’m sure you’re planning to say,” Jaskier interjects, approximating a poor rendition of Geralt’s gravelly tone, before Geralt can say— well, exactly that. “To which I say, bollocks! You didn’t mean them. I know this because I know you. You don’t care for blessings or destiny or wishes, and if you had wanted me taken off your hands, you’d have done it yourself long before now.” He pulls one hand away from his mug to count with his fingers. “You could have pushed me into a ravine, maybe, or used me as monster bait, or simply ridden off and left me to plod along, steedless. But you didn’t.”

Geralt resists the urge to look away from Jaskier and settles for thinning his lips instead. Jaskier isn’t entirely wrong; even through the irritation thrumming like icefire beneath his skin, Geralt can admit he has had myriad opportunities to separate himself from Jaskier over the years. There is no logical explanation for why Jaskier is once again sat across from Geralt, rubbing salt into Geralt’s wounds with every word he says.

“So you don’t get to do this,” Jaskier insists, though his tone is still conversational, as though he is commenting on the fair weather or the cut of a woman’s bodice. “You don’t get to act like you’re not equally at fault for every complication that has entered your life — myself included. I may have shoveled the shit, but you’re the one who stood there and let me. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, mighty Witcher, but I have waded in after you every time to pull you out and clean you up again, with no regard for the shit staining my own trousers in the process.”

Jaskier swallows. He lowers his free hand to the tabletop, where his fingers begin drumming a constant tattoo against the surface. Slowly, as though he is tasting his words before releasing them, he continues, “I don’t expect you to apologize. I’m happy to play the fool, even now. That’s my role, isn’t it, in this two-man melodrama that we call our lives? I’ve been thinking, though, about what I said to you after Borch fell, and quite frankly, I am getting too old to deprive myself of the things that please me.”

Geralt stills at that. He had forgotten, between Jaskier’s inscrutably youthful looks and his stubborn insistence on surviving encounters that really ought to kill him, that Jaskier is human, with a lifespan a fraction of Geralt’s own. Jaskier will be dead long before Geralt reaches the midpoint of his own existence, Geralt realizes suddenly. If Jaskier had taken Geralt’s words to heart and disappeared before Geralt finally made the trek back down the mountain, Jaskier may have died with Geralt’s parting sally being the last thing Geralt ever said to him.

The thought makes Geralt’s stomach turn, though whether in vindictive pleasure or bitter remorse, Geralt doesn’t know.

“For example,” Jaskier is saying as Geralt tries fruitlessly to beat back the maelstrom currently swirling in his head. “Sleeping in open fields and shaded woods, the stars forming a glimmering tapestry overhead, without knowing what the next day will bring. A professionally crafted lute slung round my neck, its strings loose and familiar between my fingers, as a merry crowd claps and dances along. And your grumpy face peering at me from across the campfire, and ignoring me from Roach’s back, and telling me about monsters and adventures I could never imagine.

“If you do not want me, then I will gladly leave you to brood alone while I set out to take the rest in whatever form I can find it. But life is short, Geralt, moreso for me than you, and — Melitele preserve me — I’d like to spend mine divesting you of the shit in which you so often find yourself.” Jaskier smiles ruefully. “Even the shit I’ve shoveled.”

Geralt still has not moved. He feels somewhat like he has taken all of his potions at once, and the world is splintering around him while he fights to regain his balance.

“If you slip out without a word, I won’t fault you, and you shan’t hear from me again,” Jaskier says after a long moment. “But if you can find it in your heart to grant me one more chance, come find me, dear Witcher, and I’ll follow you without a word. A few harsh insults won’t succeed in banishing me where selkiemore guts and prolonged silence have failed, so let’s leave all that back at the dragon’s cave, yeah? I think I can forgive you, if you forgive me in turn.”

Finally Jaskier puts the mug he has been cradling all this time to his lips, and his throat pulses as he swallows. When he is finished, he sets it down next to the other empty mugs and stands, a smile stretching his lips that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, though a casual observer would not know the difference.

Without ever having looked at Geralt, Jaskier turns to the bar, throws his arms out in invitation, and exclaims, “Who wants to hear a song, eh? The mighty bard Jaskier graces this lovely establishment tonight, eager to delight and enthrall, to make music and merry both!”

Without ever having said a word, Geralt watches him leave.

#geralt of rivia #jaskier #geraskier #angst #the witcher #neko makes words #neko writes fic #tentatively titled all the stains and things they wrote

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brandonkbills · 5 years ago

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Ghost concert on Acid

Back in September a friend of mine introduced me to Ghost, showed me some of their more popular songs and music videos and my fancy you could definitely say was tickled. I was instantly drawn to the costumes and the theatricality of them. I’d continue to listen to their more popular songs like Square Hammer, Cirice, Rats, Dance Macabre etc.

He invited me to come see them with him on their Ultimate Tour Named Death in SLC, Utah. I was immediately down. I was so looking forward to this show but had no idea what exactly I was in for.

In the parking lot he offers me some LSD and he was expecting us to just microdose but feeling brave I decide on taking the full tab. Things feel pretty normal as I groove to Twin Temple, the Satanic doo-wop band who’s opening for them. I look over to my friend, he has another tab of LSD on his fingertip and offers it to me. We both take an additional tab, we’re going in balls deep now.

Twin Temple ends their set and the audience waits with anticipation. I start to really feel something as I watch the people in the pit from the seats above; they move around like their own living organism. Suddenly, black out. The audience roars eagerly waiting for the show to begin. They kick it off with Ashes immediately followed by Rats and just rock my dick off immediately but even the instant dick rocking couldn’t prepare me for what was to come. Cardinal Copia is just mesmerizing to watch on stage. It’s immense fun to watch him dance around and sing all so passionately, and his intense sexual charisma is just hypnotic. He’s especially delightful in between songs. He holds the audience in the palm of his hand. Then he ominously utters “We’ll see how well we get to know each other” I now know shit’s gonna get crazy. The Cardinal asks the crowd “Are you all feeling tingly yet?? No? We’ll get you there.” I’ve no idea what that’s about.

I’m now tumbling down deep, dark mental roads during this badass satanic spectacle. The two Ghoul guitarists begin a riff off. A Heavy Metal Ghoul Duel if you will. My mind’s digging far down into my soul as these two masters of their instruments pull out deep rooted interpersonal quandaries from within my psyche. It’s like each guitarist is a little ghoul on my shoulder and each have their turn making their solos a chance to make their case. The Ghouls guide me down this train of thought as the black guitar Ghoul leads to the thoughts “You’ve always been curious of Satanism but that’s not you. You’re really not a Satanist.” I’ve never seriously considered the thought of being a Satanist. The Ghoul with the white guitar brings me to “Oh? And Why’s that? What exactly about it do you not agree with?”. I think to myself “Oh shit”. I don’t disagree with any of their ideas necessarily. Independence from Religion and being the Master of your own reality sound pretty fuckin cool to me. I stand in awe as these two ghouls shred opposite the stage from one another across the checkerboard floor. It’s like a mental chess match and it’s no question that by the end of it the white guitar ghoul was the victor. “I’m just tripping, I’m on drugs.” I think to myself. “Just because the white ghoul won the guitar battle doesn’t mean I’m a Satanist now...but also it doesn’t mean I’m not...I’ll keep an open mind”. The song continues to rock on and they just absolutely dominate the arena. After the song, the audience blows up with applause. I clap. Man, I clap so hard. I clap so hard I can hardly feel my hands and before I know it, I feel this insane vibrational aura around my hands. The Cardinal speaks with certainty “Oh yeah, You’re feeling tingly now”.

Holy fucking shit.

Miasma starts. I’ve never heard this song before but I’m instantly digging it and jamming away and then Papa Nihil appears out of thin air in a cloud of white fog with this epic fucking Saxophone solo. This is easily the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever witnessed. A Satanic Pope with sunglasses fuckin blowing everyone away on a Sax like Bill fucking Clinton on late night. What could be cooler?? It’s equal parts mind blowingly ridiculous and hilariously awesome.

Now I’ve been to concerts where during a song I’ve thought to myself “This is fine but I can’t wait for the next song”. This is not one of those concerts. I’m totally enthralled by every single set entry. Every single god damn song’s just incredible. The whole show is an audible and visual feast. There are times I catch myself just gazing into the stained-glass style mural in the back. There’s a faux painted portrait of Papa Nihil in the center of the mural. Spirit starts. Papa Nihil’s forehead breaks into fractals and starts to dance and weave into itself infinitely. I begin to suspect Ghost has tons of fans who trip and it’s just a thing that Ghost is aware of. I don’t know how true this is. Either way the idea is entertaining.

From the Pinnacle to the Pit has me staring at the stage during a guitar solo as I literally feel my fucking face melt off. Meanwhile slowly forming a grin on my face like some crazy demon man just to have a *POP* sudden burst of fireworks into a blackout that slaps that silly fucking grin off my face and my jaw nearly drops to the floor.

I start to notice that some people just are not as into the concert as I am. I’m assuming they are just Mormons and/or other religious folk who showed up unaware of how inherently Satanic Ghost’s music is.

Spöksonat begins, it’s very dark on stage but there are these bright blue/violet shapes beaming out from the darkness and some people around me get headaches and exit. I interpret this as weak-minded religious sheep/mormons whose meek minds can’t handle Ghost’s awesome and enchanting music. They’re too buried in their illusory faith. Again, idk how true this is but I love to believe this. It’s definitely what I believed at the time of the trip.

He is starts. I begin to realize. This is my new faith. I am in awe. The song is composed and performed with such conviction and love, I think to myself “If this is Satanism’s attempt to convert me and this much effort was put in to this to make it this beautiful... I just don’t want to refuse.” The next song begins. Mummy Dust. Which in the Cardinal’s words is “So gosh darn Infernally fucking heavy that it will not only wobble your asses but it will TICKLE YOUR TAAIINNNTS” and tickle my taint it does.

Kiss the Go-Goat is yet another excellent groovy jam but then Dance Macabre comes on right after, ooooh shit buddy I get excited. I start clapping and dancing, I stand up on the stairs, grab the railing and whip my hair around. I dance my god damned heart out and as I dance I see the Cardinal walk to the left side of the stage and he looks right at me, I fucking felt it. He nods approvingly and returns to performing. I finally feel like I fully understand the lyrics as I see this song live. “Just wanna be, wanna bewitch you all night”. That’s Tobias Forge not just saying he wants to be with us all night but he wants to enchant and perform for us all night because that is what this brilliant master of his craft was born to do. He has as much fun as the audience does at these shows, if not, more. This song would’ve been a damn fine closer but as stated in the lyrics, he didn’t wanna end like that.

Square Hammer hits and it hits hard. People are losing their minds, myself included. Still riding the energy of that last song, I head bang my soul out of my damn body. Once again, I fully understand the lyrics. “Are you on the Square? Are you on the level? Are you ready to swear right here right now, before the devil?”. I realize absolutely fucking am. When the show ended The Cardinal waved everyone goodbye and you could see how thankful he was for an audience and I’m still not sure if this was the drugs or a special effect (pretty sure it was the drugs) but each band member appeared to have strings like a marionette while waving goodbye and bowed to the audience and the audience appeared to having strings too. It looked like a lighting effect but I still have no idea how that happened, most likely a hallucination. So fucking cool regardless.

I left the arena drenched in sweat, baptized into a new yet familiar world. I don’t see life the same way I did before (but hey, that’s LSD for you). I realized through this trip how badass the symbol for rebellion against tyranny really is. Along with the profound nature of freedom from religion and realizing self divinity; that you the individual possess powers of a god and most importantly, I just had a good fucking time. My first Ghost concert was a religious experience and one hell of bash. They’re easily my favorite band now and I’ve been listening to all their albums on repeat and I can’t wait till I can see them again.

#the band ghost #cardinal copia #lsd #acid #rock concerts #ghost #ritual #psychadelic

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255940g · 5 years ago

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Danny Phantom Side hoes week day 1 (I am exceptionally late on posting this one)

Warnings: the slow realization that your supposed close friends are actually jerks and dont really care about you, badass!Sam, Danny is briefly mentioned

t came unbidden when Kwan saw the ‘geek trio’ in nasty burger one afternoon. Now they were seemingly oblivious to their watcher called Kwan. They were sharing a large fries while talking and laughing, they looked as if they were genuinely enjoying themselves and the company that they shared.

Quickly looking back at the table he was with, he realised with a start that he was the only one still there. A call from Dash had his looking at the exit. Relief flooded his veins as he collected the remains of his food upset that he had to throw away the majority of his fries.

He was quickly enthralled with the conversation with the other ‘A-listers’ and his train of thought was put away on the back burner and mostly forgotten.

(I am going to take inspiration from an amazing post I read where someone in highschool wrote a paper about how cheerleaders and football players were basically given their grades to improve how their highschool was viewed while the other sports and clubs were treated like a normal student and was told by teachers ‘being out of state for a competition doesn’t mean that I will extend or delay my grading. While just before to a football or cheerleader they were excused and was given tutoring help and times -specific to the teams free times where there wasn’t practice- and a weeks extension on assignments due. Which of course caused for the other sports and clubs banding together to defeat this obstacle. Idk how it ended but the author of that paper is now going to be Sam if anyone knows what post this was I will credit them but idk where that would be found)

Kwan only resumed that train of thought a few weeks alter just before and during what would be called as ‘the revolution’.

The revolution started with Mr Lancer having Sam read her research paper to the class ... Or something like that. Maybe it was really a synopsis of what they would be writing for their final. There was the usual amount of boredom but no one took out their phones as just listening to their classmates in boredom was worth a large number of points - the caveat was that as an acting audience there were to be no distractions. With the immediate loss of all those points being unable to make up in any way possible.

There an unusual amount of sighing as she walked up or for the newspaper club members they straightened up in their seats and were obviously taking mental notes to research later. There was an unspoken collaboration between her and the club. As Sam brought topics of high interest that brought many reads. While the club seemed to bring more sources to cite - thus bringing a cycle of collaboration. No one would be surprised that Sam Mason was a secret member of the said club but decided-for no one could see her being delegated work and accepting it-that she would be more of a spy in enemy territory.

However, for the other students, it was a gong declaring the newest upheaval or stressful time. The last one was the previous semester where the school was divided about the lunches available. It forced the school board to create a week of vegetarian meals.

This week was no different. Sam started on a topic that attacked the power that the ‘A-listers’ had. Sam did it smartly- of course- while she could have done it as a general count of all sports but no. What she did was specifically target football, basketball, and the most aggressive members of basketball.

It started out simply enough. With her ~unofficial~ reputation Lancer had her recall facts from her list of sources and to prove their validation. With that, the classroom became an alert silence.

The information sunk in slowly as classmates who weren’t ‘A-Listers’ considered this closely. Newspaper club members were actually taking notes as Lancer was putting Samantha through the interrogation. The atmosphere remained tense until Lancers class was over. Then it only grew tenser as the news spread as the day continued.

By lunch, the smirks on the newspaper club members didn’t help it at all. The students who had no social life were rolling their eyes in exasperation at the newest upheaval.

Dash didn’t stick Fenton in the locker or even try to throw a punch at him, not even once.

There was no reprieve until in the bubble of tension was popped by the latest edition of the school newspaper was released. By that time the battle lines were drawn and it was clear that the ‘A-listers’ were greatly lacking in allies.

It was only as Kwan read the newspaper articles and was forced to come to terms that something was definitely...fishy with his current group of friends.

Once again the ‘A-listers’ were at Nasty Burger after school, the topic of choice was, of course, the school newspaper. Mostly Paulina and Dash were saying that it was ‘full of bullshit!’ Star was uncharacteristically quiet and there was the really seen shrewdness glistening in her eyes. Kwan took the time to see the rest of their classmates who were also at Nasty Burger. There were tables pushed together (cause fuck canon!) and groups not normally seen together were allied together. They were speaking and laughing contentedly with fire and understanding seen and mutually understood that Kwan had never seen before.

Kwan quickly excused himself and Star did the same. “Oh! Would you like for me to walk you home Star?” Kwan asked.

Star evaluated him with her teal coloured eyes before smiling and accepting. They walked in companionable silence for a block away from the Nasty Burger before Star broached the subject with him.

“What are your thoughts on the current article?”

Taking a deep breath Kwan answered “I’m not really sure. IF it is true - which I believe that it is- then I want for the equality. If it’s not or blown out of proportion -I am hesitant to discredit it - then I want bygones to be bygones. However, I’m glad Fenton wasn’t targeted by Dash as of late. You know my thoughts on that.” Star did indeed. For on a day almost like this, she asked how he could just accept that Dash bullied Fenton almost as bad as Kwan was bullied in elementary school. “However, what I do know is that I need to have more information. What are your thoughts?”

“I have mostly concurred with you. There is definitely a lack of information available to me right now. However, a quote that keeps coming to my mind is ‘those in power have difficulty realising they are in power’ and that time the psychology teacher had everyone toss a paper into the recycling bin without leaving their assigned seat. Do you remember who complained? Wait you weren’t there. The only people who complained and said that it wasn’t fair were the people not in the front two rows.” As we were at Stars house we said our farewells and the conversation was over. I continued walking home still thinking about the image presented to me in Nasty Burger.

I soon realised that it was easy to draw a comparison chart between the ‘A-listers’ and the rest of the groups.

The ‘A-listers’ were always catty and there was that string of unease that I always felt while with them. The other groups had many people waling up to empty spaces and dragging over chairs to join conversations. Hardly anyone was turned away. There were no assigned seats if a person got up then they almost expected to not have that exact spot available to them. They were freely sharing and laughing without the edge that came when it was forced.

Just before bed, it became clear to Kwan that if it wasn’t for Star then he would have no true friends. ‘I should ask Sam tomorrow after school about what it feels like to be with her friends.’

#danny phantom #danny phantom side hoes week #day 1 #Kwan #Friendship #friendship #i meant for this to be funnier but i suck at the funnies #dp side hoes week

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dat-g-man · 6 years ago

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Voltron au with drag queens and Shance! Inspired by Rupaul’s Drag Race Part 2

Got him a lot of momentum, and creating content for those marginalized groups like a weekly youtube channel with skits written and produced by them. Later on there is a reality tv show opportunity when the queen of queens requests lance to help screen those that will be competing in a drag competition (like Ru Paul's drag race but in this fake universe) and should he know anyone to send them the link to the application as they will remain open for a while giving them enough time to iron out the contract details and negotiate a guest appearance as Ms. Blue is another great icon. Lance agrees and emails some of the queens he has kept contact with but Keith is the only one he calls.

Keith is in the bathroom but knows its lance as he is the only one who has that ringtone. He makes Shiro answer but did not realize the events that would set in motion. Lance is surprised but remains his flirty self and tells the smoldering voice to let Keith know to call him back as soon as he is available.Shiro is blushy but stutters out that Keith is finishing something in the kitchen but will be with him momentarily. He is just answering on Keith's orders so that he wouldn't miss lance. Lance is like how sweet of him to leave me in such great company making Shiro blush but then Kieth is out of the can so Shiro tells him bye and nice meeting you over the phone as he passes it back to Keith. Keith is kind of catching his breath as he rushed it and lance is teasing him about the mysterious melty voice but then checks himself as he has a great opportunity for Keith.

Keith is amazed and somewhat unsure but Lance tells him do it bitch. I have seen you grow so much and before you say that's because of me, it is not. Our drags may include technology but yours is all you. Since you made yourself a profile you have exploded and this is the next level. I signed a nondisclosure agreement, but I can tell you I will be a very small part of the show. The worst that can happen is they reject you, but I am positive you will make it to the end if not win it. I sent emails to some other queens, but I called you because I am a big fan and want to see you slay on national television. Keith is touched and agrees to send in an application. Time passes and receives notice that he is one of 10 selected to compete and that they look forward to meeting with him regarding the terms and conditions.

His hotel and travel will be covered and he is allowed to bring 2 guests. He is glad and picks Shiro and Pidge. The whole process is like a lunch orientation vacation. They gave them extra days so they can explore the area before and after the paperwork time. Because they do not have the queens finalized, they are not scheduling them together but individually. Lance is a part of this process and bumps into Shiro while out and about. More like Shiro steps in as the cashier of the juice bar was being a butt to Lance. He was going to step in either way but the fact that its Lance makes him angry.

After Keith started drag Shiro started doing some research. He found the one who inspired Keith and was enthralled. He became a follower but never went to meet and greets. He occasionally joined as Keith's plus one for competitions but usually it was Pidge who went with him. He was also unlucky because in one of those competitions Pidge met Lance and his main tech support Hunk and they had a blast and shared contact info. Shiro took that as a cosmic sign that Lance was too good for him and left it at that but The Call reminded him of the charisma Lance always has and he fell for him again.

He is a lawyer so he is all about them fancy words. His fists are just back up according to Keith. So he puts a hand on Lances shoulder and asks if he can step in. Lance is dazed by his beauty and lets him. Shiro tears into the dude in a way that emphasizes how much of an asshole he is and that he will make sure to contact the franchise to see if he is representative of their view on Queens because that is what Lance is. They will be taking their clientele elsewhere and he offers Lance his arm before walking out with him. Some person recorded and posted it making it go viral with many being outraged at the employee for treating a potential customer that way but the fact that its their lovely queen made them out for blood.

Others are like get that momma Blue, what a man, wishing somebody can make me feel like a queen, meant take a lesson from a true gentleman, if you don't want him can i keep him, etc. And the juice franchise company speaking out because this got A LOT of attention and that ex employee/manager reflected real bad on them. But back to Lance and Shiro, Lance thanks Shiro because he was very close to doing something his friend Red (Keith) would do but thanks to his new hero, he remained the classy lady he is.

Shiro is positively charmed and let him know he is welcome. The two introduce themselves with Lance teasing Shiro like, Shiro the Hero, were you named after your occupation my good sir. Shiro is blushing again. But tells him nothing like that. He is just always ready to fight against inequality and that his brother is always inspiring him. Lance eyes twinkle and he asks about the identity of said brother and Shiro tells him about Keith and recognizing him as his brothers charming friend. Lance is like I knew it was you! I recognized that voice the moment you stepped in. Shiro is like wait you remembered my voice?

Now lance is the blushy one and confessing that he has a really nice voice that could read audio books or have its own podcast/radio show. Shiro is pleased and asks if it's not too forward of him, to share contact info and get to know each other better as he is simply charmed by Lance and always wanted to meet his brothers other greatest support. Lance is floored and agrees. Shiro is not only charming and a hunk, but he was respectful and broadcasted his intentions.

Shiro also lets him know if I am reading this wrong I apologize as I did not want to make you uncomfortable. He was also serious about the lawsuit because that manager was an asshole and needs a lesson before he continues to share his hateful rhetoric. So the sparks fly and practically have a date. Lance pays for as he wants to thank his hero with Shiro paying for dessert as he wanted to sweeten their meeting. They lament meeting before the official meetings as they will have to be professionals but will meet up after everything has been wrapped up with Keith.

The meetings end up taking longer as Shiro got into lawyer mode with Pidge and Keith being like we need these materials to be available as supplies and any other requests. They were unable to get all their demands, but most of the supplies provided by the studio would do. Two companies are pending as the studio reached out to them and are negotiating sponsorship, but seeing as one of them already sponsors Keith and Lance, they are hopeful. Shiro was also able to negotiate a higher wage/payout (idk), as Keith would be missing 1-4 competitions to appear on the show. The grand prize is not guaranteed but with his reputation of consistently being 1st place he would be losing guaranteed money.

As such, they should try and meet that. The studio is hard presses to find an argument but concede as they were told by The Queen that Keith is one of the high priority candidates and that provided the nda is signed, they can add anything in the contract with the exclusion of being able to cheat or having 1st place guaranteed. So they negotiate the sum as Shiro is correct, but one must also consider the level of exposure. Shiro responds with exposure or exploitation? And the studio team is impressed again and concede with a 10% or something reduction of the originally proposed amount. They all agree, sign, and before they walk off exchange business cards so that they can talk about having Shiro consult is he is unavailable to join their team.

Shiro lets them know he will consider the offer and the legal team walks off. Lance is waiting for them at the lobby with Hunk to see how the talks went and is happy when he hears how Shiro arm wrestled the team for Keith's supplies and compensation. The group is together for the first time nut they all click as if they were long time friends. Also, I am debating Lotor as The Queen. I was initially gonna have him be the loser from Keith's first competition but then he is meticulous in the show so he would not be in character as a loser. I mean Keith's is not in character, but i wanted to avoid the initial rivalry and change it into a mentor ship.

That is not say they are instant bffs but that just like in the show, Keith is a natural and Lance has worked his way to that level. He was initially envious of Keith's start, but then got to know him and talk after a few hang outs with alcohol and had their heart to heart because at that stage Lance was in a rut and seeing Keith running made him feel inadequate. Afterwards they became the brohoes we have now.

So, they all hang out while Keith is there but the group notices the sparks between Lance and Shiro so they conveniently forget something back at the hotel and leave them together. I need to cut this short but Keith slays the competition and wins the grand prize. Shiro has his own following after the juice bar incident and they have joined with Lances following to create The Blue Paladin Squad. They refer to lance and Shiro as paladins because both are advocates and do a lot for the lgbtq community. Even before lance Shiro was active so the internet is invested in them.

The end

#vld #shance #rupaul's drag race au #complete outline

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janiedean · 7 years ago

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writing meme

tagged by @aftgonice thank you! :D

Rules: Answer the questions for your work. You can use different fics, and even WIPs. Don’t hesitate to link your stuff for the curious ones :) And tag writer friends to play along!

1/ Which scene/paragraph/sentence are you the most proud of?

Oh god guys. Guys. I don’t know like I’ve written so much fucking shit I have no idea, but okay first thing I can think of JUST ON AO3 IF I START GOING WITH LJ I’M NEVER GONNA FINISH is the ending of take a sad song and make it better because like I’m shit at metaphors or anything like that and... idk this one came out really well I think?

He’s taken his sad song and made it not just better but great, and maybe for the first time in his life he feels completely at harmony with the entire fucking universe and when Robb’s tongue touches his own he parts his lips with a sigh and kisses back even harder.

They only stop when they hit their heads against the damned ceiling and Robb bursts out in laughter, but they don’t crash down to the ground and Theon’s more than ready for it when they kiss again –

(heart and soul)

and maybe now he knows what his favorite song is.

It’s the one he’s living in, he realizes as his heart soars, and he kisses Robb back, and they don’t come down on the ground for a long time.

For the first time in his life, it feels like the natural state of things, and maybe that’s not the best thing of all (that one’s that he finally went through with this and confessed his damned feelings and that Robb wants him back), but it’s just up there along with all the almost-favorite songs he has already.

idk guys I’m weak for music-related stuff. I probably should stick to music metaphors.

Also I’m proud of myself whenever I write jaime lannister’s brand of humor, but if I had to go through the entire production we’d be here until tomorrow.

2/ For which work/piece of work do you get comments telling how marvelous it is, while you’re not that enthralled by that piece yourself?

More than not being enthralled (because I thought it was an okay crack fic)... well, five people who didn’t believe Ned Stark for one second about Jon’s paternity and one who did has an inhuman number of hits/kudos and it’s probably in my most popular top ten fics and like... it’s less than 2k words of crack and I wrote it in twenty minutes I swear XD I’d have never thought that would get so popular though I guess the subject lends itself to it but like there’s shit I worked on for weeks that doesn’t have a tenth of the hits, IDK GUYS XD but I don’t hate it or anything I thought it came out pretty nice. I just wasn’t expecting it. XD

3/ Which character highjacked the story they’re in?

Theon in when they built you, brother, they broke the mold (iT’S ABOUT ROBB AND JON BUT HE WANTED TO BE IN IT AND WHO AM I TO DENY IT) and jaime in you sang me a song as pure as the breeze (ngl jaime was the best thing about that story and it was ABOUT NED AND CAT FALLING IN LOVE GUYS XDD). we could also make a case for davos in some flowers bloom dead because he was supposed to be in it for one chapter and then he’s staying until the end lol.

4/ Which sentence/kind of sentence do you overuse?

Really. I use really too much. And people opening a sentence with well. And I do extra long sentences but I don’t care anymore about that. XD

5/ Which work of yours would you be dying to get fanart for?

I’ve got some fanart for a few fics but okay let’s admit it I’d die for fanart of either any scene from some flowers bloom dead or anything from the everything is cupcakes and (mostly) nothing hurts verse? that one lends itself to fanfic I think. or the jb mutant au fic especiallythefinalscene but I mean if anyone does fanart out of shit I write I’m overtly flattered <3

6/ Which work would you rather forget?

half of the crap I wrote at fourteen with OCs lol. out of the current stuff I have on... eh. a pinch hit I did for gotexchange years ago which... was... let’s just say writing it was hell on earth for reasons even if I liked the ship and I’m still so conflicted about it I never put it on ao3. now someone who knows who they are read it and said it was actually good so I might just put it on ao3 for closure but I never hated writing a fic for characters and a pairing I liked as much as I hated writing that one, blergh.

7/ Do you have a project you never got the nerves/guts to write?

My problem is that I don’t have time, not that I don’t have nerves or guts, but like there’s this psych ward au where theon has DID which has been sitting on the list for years but I’m like... I don’t want to fuck it up because I really don’t want to be the person who writes fic about mental disorders and does it wrong, but if actual psychiatrists still don’t agree on whether DID exists how do I do it damn it XD also I... kinda... want to do the canon verse fic where jaime actually realize the depth of fuckedupness his rship with cersei was and has to deal with the backload of ptsd he has been bottling up since he was fifteen and with the fact that he was in an emotionally abusive mess of a relationship for all of his life but like, a) I need to be in the right frame of mind, b) I’m entirely aware that it’s an unpopular way of seeing things, c) idk if I trust myself to be objective. so.

ah, and then there’s... a thing... that... I don’t even know if I want to mention what it is but let’s just say that if I ever write it I’m sharing it via email with selected people because if I actually posted it in public tumblr would crucify the shit out of me (spoilers: it’s... about... making fun of tumblr’s brand of idiocy in very unpolitically correct ways) so lol if I ever get there it’s gonna see the light of public day after this website crashes and burns. XD

8/ For which fandom have you written the most? (can be original fic, say if you count in terms of words, chapters or fics)

dunno, if you count LJ it’s asoiaf/lost/spn on a more or less equal basis. I have like some 200 fics for asoiaf/got but back in the day I wrote definitely at least 200 for lost and more than 100 for SPN so XDDDDDD no idea probably asoiaf if we take the sheer wordcount amount but XD

okay so tagging... @robb-greyjoy @irisparry @xihydrae @distractedbylife @skymurdock and whoever else wants to ;)

#writing #my fic #sort of #god question 7 hahahahahahahahah

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inspirationallyinsane · 8 years ago

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June 25 2017

Hi Tumblr. It is officially summer now. It has been for a few weeks I guess but it has just started to feel like it for me. I tend to begin hating summer after the second week. I get so bored and lonely. I complain about school a lot but it gives me something to do and an opportunity to be around people. I have been around my family quite a bit though since summer has started, which has been nice. I went up to see my mom and my brother and now I am staying with my dad. It is strange to have three places I could call home and not have any of them really feel like home. My mom's house feels most like home but then I remember that it can't be and I get sad. My place feels least like home, which is shitty, since I live there most of the time. Sometimes my place feels like a hotel. I keep expecting to leave and then I never do. I've been looking for a new apartment. Mine doesn't have AC. It also doesn't have windows. I have to leave one of my doors open at night so that I don't literally die of heat stroke. I have been having a lot of nightmares about large men coming into my apartment and just standing there, watching me. They never attack me but there is just something so weird about knowing that someone could come into your house and watch you and you possibly wouldn't even know. Idk. I like my space, I don't like people in my space. It freaks me out. I've been having a lot of nightmares in general for about three or four weeks now. I'm not sleeping much anymore. I thought they would go away after finals week was over, and then I thought they would go away after I got my grades back (I passed all my classes and raised my gpa!!!!!). But I keep waking up screaming or crying. Maybe it's the heat. Or maybe there is something going on that is stressing me out and I'm not even aware of it. I have also been trying to get a job. It is hard to get a job as a teenager who has never been employed and has no connections whatsoever. The minute market across the street from my apartment was recently hiring. I really wanted that job. I even went in four times to check in with the person who is in charge of hiring. They ended up giving the job to a 40 year old man with plenty of job experience. Obviously if I were hiring I'd probably do the same thing. But it still sucks. It feels strange to be competing against adults who have been working their entire lives for the same entry level jobs. They are called entry level jobs. Meant for people who are just entering the job market. Like wtf. I am going to visit my mom and brother again next weekend. For the fourth of July. It is nice to go stay with my mommo. She can be a lot sometimes but she also brings me breakfast in bed and buys me clothes so... it's worth it :) haha no but it really is nice just to be around people. Living alone gets very lonely. It's nice to wake up and have someone there to talk to, eat breakfast with, or whatever. AG and I have been talking about moving in together. As much as I love not being alone all the time, I don't know if I'm ready to move in with my boyfriend. I know it's the thing people do in long term relationships, which ours very much is, but I'm only 18. I feel like there are still things about myself that I need to figure out before having to be responsible in a partnership. You know? Does that make sense? It's like, as much as I hate doing the dishes, I should probably learn that I need to do them myself before just letting someone else do them for me. Seeing my brother last weekend reminded me how much college changes people. How much college has changed me. High school kids are annoying af (Not my brother specifically, he’s fine most of the time, I just mean in general). They have no idea how hard things get. And it's so wonderful to hear my brother talk about his big plans and his life goals because college really fucks all that shit up. At least for me. I used to think everything would be so much easier than it really is. And I'm just out of my first year. I imagine that in four years or six years I'll look back at present me and think the same things I am thinking about past me. But at the same time, being relatively on my own and learning about how hard things are has been wonderful. I don't feel like I need money or people to be happy anymore. Those things may make me feel happier for a while, but I know that I can live in a shithole with no AC and not see anyone for like a week and still feel the exact same way at the end of the day. I feel better now than I did in high school. So that's good. Life is less stressful when you don't have any dreams left :) Staying with my dad is really great too. I miss talking to my dad. We used to talk a lot more and have amazing conversations. Sometimes I feel like my dad is one of maybe two people I have ever met that I can have super enthralling conversations with. I wonder if I am that kind of conversationalist. I'd like to think I am, but then again, both of the people that I felt I had good conversations with don't speak to me anymore, or rarely ever speak to me anymore. Nonetheless, I would be happy if things got better with my dad. Maybe I only feel that way right now because I am around him and I always feel like he isn't such a terrible guy when I am around him but still. As bad as I make him sound in those short stories I have written, and will continue to write, he isn't that way most of the time. I don't write about the good times because good times are boring and honestly who cares. I also don't need to write about the good times. No one goes to therapy or writes books as therapy about the good times. I used to write about good times. I like to read my childhood journals from when I was a child. I kept journals sporadically from the time I was in second grade. Every single one of them is filled with basically lists of things I love or cool things that happened to me. I used to be really hopeful about people beginning to like me, or good things continuing to happen. I have memories of the bad things that happened but I only ever wrote about things I loved. I had lots of things I loved. I still do, I just don't focus on them anymore. Ultimately though I have always been the same self involved self important shitty person I am now. I have read those journals probably twenty times over and this is the first time I realized that I haven't changed at all. I may be a bit more sad now, but I think that's just what life does to people. I was such a bitch!!! I wrote about being smarter than everyone in my class and I drew self portraits labeling how perfect all my features were. What kind of fourth grader does that? And then I proceeded to draw pictures of my classmates and label all of their shitty features. I look back at my posts on this blog from high school and think about what I wrote about my classmates and realize I had not changed at all since elementary school. Maybe that is how people are. They don't change. And maybe that is how I know I don't have a personality disorder, I just have a shitty personality. Or maybe I have changed now, and that is why I can finally see that I hadn't changed for 18 years. Maybe now that I am becoming my own person and I'm not dealing with my parents’ bullshit and their expectations (not blaming or victimizing, mom ;) ) and I have finally stopped idolizing them, maybe now I can be a better person. I really do want to try. I've been saying that for a while. Maybe that's just something everyone says as they continue with their same shitty behaviors. Most of my time recently has been spent playing League of Legends. I love that game a lot. I think I am getting better at it. My new fav champ is Rakan. Bird man. Bird boy. The cutestTM. Most people who play him are assholes. Most people who play League are assholes though I guess. I like to be the anomaly. Although sometimes it is fun to beat someone really hard and be a bit of an asshole about it :P I wish I were out at parties, or kickbacks or whatever, with people who I thought were my friends. It's like, if I spend an hour on the phone with you, listening to your problems and being there to support you about things you feel like you can't tell anyone else, you could at least invite me to hang out. And it's not like I'm a total freak of the week anymore either. I chilled the fuck out. I think. So at this point, I really have to question what is wrong with me. Why am I always forgotten? Oh but! Right before summer I had a great week hanging out with Zach and pals. Zach is such a cool guy. He does some crazy shit but he's a great friend and I always get to go on some sort of adventure when he is around. And Zach never forgets about me. Which means more to me than anything. He recently went back to LA. I hope he is doing well there. I am sure he is doing well there. Anyway. I guess that is all for now. My life is pretty boring. I do my best to try and make myself sound interesting or thoughtful in my writing but honestly I haven't had too much to think about recently. Which is kind of nice. I think that might mean things are finally starting to go well for me. I typically only contemplate about problems, or about whether or not I should kill myself. So. Good thing that's not happening anymore. I hope all my followers/readers are doing well. I genuinely can't believe people still go on my blog. I so rarely post anymore. I'll try to fix that. No promises though. I love you all :)

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ushijimawakaflockaflame-blog · 8 years ago

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Eyyo I heard you like midorima. How about an adorably awkward first date with his shy crush scenario?

AN: YAYAYAY MIDORI-MAH HUSBAND, AM I RIGHT. I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND SORRY IT’S NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR CUZ TBH I thought this fit Midorima better???????? idk ok enjoy im sorry

Boys never really piqued your interest. You weren’t at school to date, you were at school to learn, to prepare yourself for the vast amount of opportunities in the working world. Not like you were a hermit under its shell under a rock, you let the weekends take its course and hung out with friends sometimes, but you were known as the one who studied all the time.

Like, all the time. During class, in the library, in cafes, at the park, you name it. If you were somewhere, you probably had your nose deep in your notebook. You had that reputation at Shutoku, but you were quite thankful that it wasn’t necessarily a bad label on you, right?

I mean, it did spark up an interest in a certain classmate of yours.

You shared many of the same classes with the famous Midorima Shintarou. In each class, your seats were always near each other - in the same column, diagonally, but never next to each other. You didn’t know him on a personal level, but it was hard to ignore him when he was the only one in class with green hair and towered over you like a baby giraffe. Sometimes you’d exchange acknowledging nods, but that was about it.

Even with the minimal amount of knowledge known about each other, you always felt his eyes on you.

You never dared look back, though. You knew it was him because he looked at you with the same intensity he had during his games and it bore holes into the back of your skull. Even without peripherally looking at him, you could still feel his stare, and it sent shivers down your spine every day.

But today, you weren’t having it. You ignored all his stares, all your shivers, hell, you were even a little flattered that he gave you the time of day and attention that no other guy did, but today, you were not in the mood.

You both sat in your respective desks during your math class today. It was a few days before the big midterm, and you wanted to absorb all the information on this review you could get.

But you could feel it. You could feel his eyes from the desk behind you and it made you so jittery and uneasy that you couldn’t focus on the review and it frustrated you. Your cheeks were pink, hands shaking, and your eye even twitched a little.

Why did he stare at you, anyways? And you, of all people!? You were going to find out.

Your teacher finally dismissed the class for the day. Immediately, before you even bothered to pack up your stuff, your torso swung to face your four-eyed admirer. Your brows were furrowed, trying to look angry, but when your eyes met, you quickly faltered.

You never noticed how green his eyes were before.

You were never one to interact with strangers much, so you froze in your place when your eyes met. You thought he would be the one to give you a snarky remark, but he was lost in your gaze, too.

Internally, he was panicking; after all these months, you finally caught him. But he refused to show you any sort of weakness, let alone even admit he was looking at you.

After a long thirty seconds, you finally broke the spell.

“M-Midorima-san!” you sputtered. You cursed at yourself for stuttering.

“What?” he asked, a bit annoyed.

You were a bit taken back by his boldness, but you stayed strong. “Why do you keep staring at me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do! I catch you staring all the time!” you lied.

Classmates packing up turned to look at you two bickering. Midorima blushed and immediately covered your mouth with his hands.

“Be quiet, will you! People are going to start assuming, like what you’re doing now!”

You pulled away from his large, engulfing hands and pouted. “Not until I get my answer!” Midorima clicked his tongue, removing his hands and rushing to go to the next class. Coincidentally, you were in that class, also, so you followed suit. “H-Hey, wait!!”

Throughout the whole day, it was your turn to stare at him until he burned, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Midorima’s eye twitched, suddenly realizing why you were so antsy today, but he wasn’t going to admit it to you. You did this for the remaining three class you both had for the day, and you even dared to follow him to practice.

You sat on the benches and watched the team. A few other students - mostly girls - sat near you to watch, also, fawning over how cool the team was. You had to admit, watching them was pretty intense, but you had one goal, and that was to make Midorima confess to you why he looked at you the way that he does.

Takao wiped his brow as he stared up at the benches. “Oi, Shin-chan! I didn’t know you had fans!”

“What?” Midorima didn’t take his eyes off of the basketball hoop as he flawlessly shot his three-pointers.

“A secret admirer has been staring at you this whole time! A cute one, at that. They tutored me for a bit, actually. How do you know them?”

“What?” Midorima repeated. This time, he turned his attention to his teasing friend and followed his eyes.

“Gah!” Midorima exclaimed. His cheeks flushed brightly when he saw you, your eyes meeting once again. “W-What are you doing here!?”

“I want my answer, Midorima-san!”

“Eh?” Takao raised a brow. “What are they -”

“I’m going to go shower.”

“Wha- but practice isn’t over yet!?”

“I’m not feeling well,” a blushing Midorima ran to the locker rooms to change. You groaned, running to go meet him outside of the door once he was finished.

You weren’t going to let him get away.

Midorima took his sweet time changing. He showered, deep-cleaned his glasses, and even steamed his tracksuit. After over an hour of killing time in the locker room, he finally left the locker room.

“Midorima-san.”

He jumped at the voice behind him. He turned to see you waiting patiently against the lockers.

“I-I don’t have time for your questions. I have an exam to study for,” he lied.

“Oh, me too. We are in the same class, you know,” your mouth curved into a teasing smile.

Midorima’s cheeks heated up for the tenth time today. “Then stop wasting time and let’s go.”

“H-Huh? Go where?”

“Do you want to study or not?” Midorima quickly turned away to walk towards the doors. You followed closely behind him.

The walk to the study spot was long and awkward. He chose some place outside of school, so you both walked in silence for quite some time. Youu dropped the revenge act and now you two completely avoided each other. It wasn’t until you both arrived at your destination that you finally spoke up.

“You like to study here, too?” you asked. Midorima saw your eyes twinkle at the caramel latte poster. You heard him make some weird noise of confirmation and you followed him inside.

When the two of you sat at a table, you both got to studying right away. It avoided any and all awkward conversations that could potentially be brought up. You were way too nervous to bring up the whole reason you followed him to the cafe in the first place, so you decided to drop it and just focus on your exam.

You were so enthralled with the review questions that you never noticed the small glances Midorima gave you now and then, and he was thankful. No matter how many times he tried to stop himself, you drew him back in every time, and he hated that he had no control over it at all. It frustrated him to no end, but after so long, he came to terms with his infatuation with you (he refused to admit that he ‘liked’ you).

After thirty minutes of trying to figure out a problem and another thirty minutes of deciding whether or not you should swallow your pride, you finally decided to buck up the courage to ask your new friend for help.

You looked up to ask your question, but your eyes met with his once more. His face was much closer this time; so close that you could see the gold speckles in his irises. His eyes widened, embarrassed of being caught for the second time that day, and he cursed to himself, but he couldn’t move. You were so close, just inches away. You could feel the fire in his eyes and it warmed up your entire body, not forgetting to warm your cheeks.

You broke eye contact when you felt his taped fingers tickle your hair strands.

“E-EH? W-What’s your hand doing there!?”

“N-Nothing!”

“Is there something in my hair!?”

“No! I, uh -”

“A-And you were staring at me!”

“I was not!”

“I just caught you! Don’t lie!”

“I’m not -!”

“Shin-chan?”

In the midst of your bickering, you both didn’t notice the basketball team walk in, staring with raised brows. You both turned back to look at each other and quickly receded to your seats as if nothing happened.

“Wow, Shin-chan ~” Midorima narrowed his eyes at Takao’s teasing tone. He threw his arms over Midorima’s shoulder and shot you a wink. “Why, hello there, _____-chan!”

You were no stranger to Takao. You tutored him once, and he was the first person you had fun tutoring. You gave him a shy smile. “Hello, Kazunari-kun.”

Midorima’s frowned at your informality. When did you two get on a first-name basis? And why were you smiling like that?

“What are you all doing here?” Midorima asked.

“We should be asking you that question,” Otsubo looked at him sternly with his arms crossed. He was so tall and intimidating that you sunk in your seat.

“Now now, senpai ~ We were going home and we saw you two in the window, so we thought we’d stop by and say hello! Looks like we interrupted something, though.”

You blushed. “O-Oh, no, there was nothing -”

“No need to explain, _____-chan ~ We’re leaving anyways,” Takao removed his arm from Midorima’s shoulder and lead the team to the door. “Have fun on your date, you two!”

“Date?” you and Midorima said simultaneously. You both turned your heads to look at each other when the team left.

“Is this…?” you began, but you trailed off.

“I was going to come her regardless if you came with me.” You smiled at the small pout on his lips. “You just followed me.”

“You didn’t stop me, though.”

“Tch….”

You both went back to studying after calming down from the scene. As if it wasn’t already hard for Midorima to concentrate, it sure was now. He couldn’t get the word ‘date’ out of his head after Takao teased him. This wasn’t a date, was it? All you two were doing was studying.

Together.

In a public setting.

With food and drinks.

…. This wasn’t a date.

Midorima sighed and glanced up at you again. Loose strands were covering your face as you took your notes. After all his time paying attention to you from afar, he came to like when your hair was tucked behind your ears. Instinctively, he reached to tuck your hair for the second time, but this time without any hesitation.

When you felt the tape lightly scratch your cheeks, you looked up. Midorima’s face was as close as the first time, but when your eyes met, he didn’t falter. You felt the tape graze the shell of your ear as he tucked your strands.

“M-M-Midorima-san?”

He didn’t respond. The feel of his touch lingered on your skin after it left. He cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee, avoiding eye contact.

Midorima was someone you never understood. If there was anyone more studious, shy, and stubborn than you, it was him, and you found it charming. You came to accept that he probably wasn’t going to admit that he liked you, but you were ok with that.

With your non-dominant hand, you grabbed a hold of his across the table and gave it a light squeeze. You felt him tense up at your touch, and you smiled. You were too embarrassed to look at him, so you went back to your notes. He returned your gesture by running his thumb across the back of your hand.

He thanked the Gods that Cancer was number two today.

#midorima #midorima shintarou #knb #kuroko no basket #knb scenarios #kuroko no basket scenarios #kuroko no basuke #kuroko no basuke scenarios #i love him he's so weird

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