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terrence-silver · 2 years ago

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Do you have any headcanons about Terry McCain's younger life? His childhood, parents, family, time in high school, college etc?

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― Born into a background just about as traditional as can be, I imagine, somewhere in rural Illinois on the outskirts of Chicago, on a big farm. Father might've been in law enforcement himself (a running multigenerational tradition, from grandfather, to father, to son?) mother a classical homemaker and Terry himself --- a good Catholic boy from a good Catholic household. The type that helps out at his local parish. Volunteers around the church or a soup kitchen. Feeds local stray animals around the neighborhood. Gets into fights with other kids he figures abused them, acquiring a taste for dishing out justice and pursuing what is right quite early on. Singing as a choir boy during Sunday mass, yes. Perhaps, taking up the occasional extracurricular of some local folklore troupe and getting into Irish dances and singing --- playing an instrument, sure, proving he has a knack for music; his first passion in life. Going on a heritage trip to Ireland? Maybe indulging in some occasional (and yet still weirdly innocent) mischief and pranks by switching out the local nuns' rosaries during prayer, for all we know. Nothing unconventional or controversial to see or read here. In fact, you can slap the man's face on a Norman Rockwell painting and you'd fit Terry McCain's upbringing fits the bill quite well.

― Had an equally Catholic educational phase too. St. Mary Institute or whatever it was called, and these years --- college and further studies pretty much left a pristine mark on his future too as someone diligent, hardworking and multitalented, considering how I envision Terry was groomed to be a cop very early on and that was a career choice that was simply a given he'd go into. Something, he in equal measure wanted to be, as much as it was a calling he inherited. As such, he attended an All Boys institute where he made lifelong friends (like Dylan) and later, a Police Academy and I imagine he got employment in this field extremely early on, possibly immediately post-graduation, which means by his early twenties, Terry McCain was probably already climbing the ranks within law enforcement, being a workaholic overachiever and fully dedicating himself to the job, fully detecting himself to his specialization and fully dedicating himself to martial arts; perfecting his weapon usage, combat skills and the pursuit of becoming just about as excellent as he can be in every regard, because I do believe Terry McCain is an idealist at heart and always has been, entirely convinced the myth of the 'good cop' doesn't just have to be a myth, especially how it might've been a career path numerous men in his family were in and the issue hit close to home.

― Was a definite country boy in the big city, and the somewhat drastic switch rendered him both hypersocial and introverted at the same time, meaning that in equal measure, a young Terry McCain was capable spending whole nights at the novelty that were jazz clubs, performing on stage, schmoozing at bars, honing his love of music, entertaining a crowd, being a generally liked, universally popular guy...and then retiring to his bachelor pad and being solitary for weeks and weeks, entirely bubbling himself in with the sole exception of being a cop. I think it is because Terry is a family guy at heart, plucked from his roots. Growing up in a tightly knit family unit. Instilled with family ideals. Possibly an only child who missed his family home and 'the good old days' or someone with a huge amount of siblings and nothing in between, being away from this traditional, post-card worthy environment due to the callings of his profession made it difficult to wholly adapt which he coped with by making his colleagues at the police force his adoptive family, in a sense --- which is exactly why their subsequent deaths were such a major blow to Terry. Why he went on such a rampage of revenge in their name.

― In spite of winning the genetic lottery in the looks department, being a star pupil in nearly everything he pursued, being athletic, tall, something of a jock and being undeniably popular in a sense, Terry McCain as a teenager was uncharacteristically humble about it. He might've been brash, a hothead, but, he was never a jerk. Never was a heartbreaker either, even though he very much could've been where young love was concerned. In fact, it is a shocker that Terry McCain doesn't have an extensive dating life behind him or nearly any at all, with rare exceptions. In fact, he seems like the type who would cordially take to prom someone who's parents know his parents and be a perfect gentleman about it and throw hands with anyone would be disrespectful about it. Pretty chaste about it too, as I do see that his later dedication to his profession consumed so much of his time that even as a young adult, Terry had no opportunity to put himself out there, regardless if he constantly turned eyes his way simply by walking into a room. Nobody would ever guess that this man had his first kiss relatively late and became sexually active relatively late as well just because he had this firm belief that he should do all of these things with someone he profoundly cares for and that the wait is worth it.

― Yet, I do imagine that there's a price to pay for being quite so continuously perfect in every regard and that's, yes, a whole load of pent-up repression accumulated over a great many years. Anger. Aggression. Being a bit of a pervert. Yeah, Terry has it all. And he's had it all since childhood, which means that in his adulthood and his continued career as a Detective, it actually takes anywhere from very little to a lot to trigger this man into turning a whole city upside down and leaving a literal trail of body bags behind him to enact what he sees as justice, righteousness, vigilantism, revenge, settling scores, tit for tat. You name it. Man has issues with rage galore. Issues with stubbornness. Issues with tense emotions. Issues with taking 'no' as an answer. To the degree he not only managed to hook up with a foreign model simply by being in relentless pursuit and then refusing to break up. I envision that as far back as his childhood or teenage years, Terry simply had a naturally fiery temper. That he was a kid of raw emotion and impulse. That he'd be capable of going toe to toe against a group of children all by himself because they bullied someone he considered a friend, even if the odds were stacked against him. It was the right thing to do, though, so he did it regardless.

#terry mccain #excessive force #excessive force 1993 #character analysis

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cinamun · 2 years ago

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I don't think either of them are ready. If Jayce's easy button answer to "I'm scared" is basically "there, there" and not an attempt to get Hope to articulate her fear so they can work through it without her throwing herself at him, then he's not taking her recovery seriously enough. No matter what she's ultimately scared about, its hard enough for "well-adjusted" folks to even speak those words, but for someone working through what she is, saying such a thing can sometimes feel like they aren't making progress. I know he wasn't intentionally being dismissive. I don't doubt that cares and wants the best for her, for himself, and for them, but maybe he's assuming too much about the pace of her recovery. And considering everything, I think he needs to live a little longer as a legally bound partner before taking on fatherhood.

Hope still has a lot of healing to do. She has a lot going on. Workaholic/Perfectionist--She was forced to dial back on work. Guilt-ridden--Though misplaced, it still dwells in her. Newlywed--Life-affirming exercises aside, she still doesn't know Jayce that well as a legally bound partner. Consider that by the time she advances to one session every two weeks, the baby will be singing I'm Coming Out. Will she actually have had enough time to stabilize a new normal? Will she have had enough time to feel like the self she wants to be? Will she have had enough time to fully honor her responsibility to herself before taking on the responsibility of someone else?

But as Dr. Ian Malcolm says, life finds a way. So ready or not, if there is a baby on the way and she chooses to carry to term, then this is where my greatest concern lies. Hope has to be fully conscious of that fact that she is in a position to be the first to break the cycle of less than ideal parenting circumstances. If she still has things that have not been resolved, then, try as she might, those issues will continue to manifest until dealt with. And I think that she would set her recovery aside or significantly slow the pace--basically, grin and bear it, maybe actually believing that she'll dust off that work at the first opportunity--so that in the present she can be the best parent and partner in parenting she could be, though doing so may unfortunately bring about the opposite results.

My other concern is that if she happens to miscarry while early in her recovery, it may set them both back a great deal.

There are so many possibilities that come with an untimely period! I suppose my question would be, and you bring up great points, how long should they wait and how ready *IS* ready, anyway? Their plan was to get married, travel for their honeymoon, come home and have babies and love on each other. Elliot snatched all of that away so imagine Jay (I would say he wasn't dismissive, moreso, that's kinda their communication style. Remember when he had to be super direct with her during the whole Kenji Debachle™?), continuing to put his brand new life on hold for the actions of a man who almost killed his wife and ultimately any future children he'd have with her.

So how long should they wait?

Jay said at the cathedral that they were leaving to finish what they started across the street at the chapel and Hope (after some hesitation) got in that limo and dipped out. We know Hope, she's strong willed. She would have told him about himself if she didn't also want to leave.

Another example:

Jay also said "All I've ever BEEN is patient" during that argument about her "college friends". And he wasn't wrong, right? He's always very patient with her. So the nudging he's doing is how he helps her along. Hope, as an overachiever, needs a lot of reassurance. Jay comes in clutch with that and that is what we see him doing.

Last thing because I realize I'm writing a novel here lol

Hope is acutely aware of where she stands in the line to break generational curses. She was aware of it when she ran away as a teenager and even before that when she honored her grandmother by teaching her auntie to respect sex work. One thing we don't have to worry about with Hope is her repeating anything her grandmother did as a mother. Indya and Darren's parenting broke an entire generation of curses because look at how they are raising/ed their children! Hope is 2nd in line to break curses, not the first and its a beautiful thing to have witnessed.

Yes everyone is still in therapy after a major traumatic event a couple months ago. Yes they just became legally bound but I fear they'll be waiting forever if they wait for simulated life to give them perfection.

#story stuff #we're on it y'all!#babygate is upon us

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stardew-obsessed-ora · 1 year ago

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👔 🎉🙄🌈🏙️ FOR ULRICH PLS <3

┊﹕⊹・YYEAHHH! MY TECHNICAL LEAD SON!!!

I've been waiting for the opportunity to talk about him more! I'll be writing some of these in a pre and post character arc sense since he tended to treat things vastly different before improving upon himself and interacting with the valley more.

(also sorry in advance, i have the tendency to ramble and this'll probably be long LOL)

🏙️ how was your farmer's life like before they moved to pelican town?

Before Ulrich moved to the valley, he lived in a rural village in Germany with his mother and sister! He was a bit of an overachiever and was always fixated on technology and how machines ran. I'd say before his father's passing his life was pretty rudimentary. In fact, he had what you could consider a fairytale-like childhood. His parents weren't perfect, but they both did the best for him.

After his dad passed, he found it difficult to cope. For years, he struggled with his mental health due to the event and found himself shutting down, away from the world in an attempt to escape from such a cruel reality.

Somewhere around his 20s he came to the conclusion that he wanted to start anew, give himself something else to focus on and change the direction of his life. He first moved to Downtown Zuzu and applied to Joja Corp for a technical position. After a few years of continued cooperation and effort on his part, he managed to receive the role of Technical Lead. He overworked and outperformed as best he could never quite learning how much he should've been taking on.

I actually imagine the initial reason for him moving to Pelican Town was due to him seeing opportunity in the area. It reminded him of his home town, and he wanted nothing more than to help them flourish. He wanted to make a name for himself, and wanted to prove efficient and competent in his field. He proposed to his HRs that he'd be able to enact a Joja Brand Tech Store within the small town, and sough to do just that.

👔 what do they think about morris?

Ulrich actually started off disliking Morris. He found him to be too absorbed in his own beliefs and too stubborn to deal with. Being a Technical Lead and all Ulrich is in charge of Technical Audits and keeping things in order in varying Joja Corporation buildings. Upon visiting and doing all the checks needed, he actually ended up having an argument with Morris over upgrades needing to be done and things needing to be fixed. They're both stubborn and unrelenting, so it goes on for ages. For what seemed like months their relationship was simple. They bicker at each other, Ulrich makes little off-handed elegant, yet teasy remarks and snide jabs, Morris retorts either with a smile or a scowl, they go on about their day.

After finding a middle ground between the both of them, Ulrich started tolerating him more. There was a part of him which held the man in the utmost regard. You could even say there was a part that was fond of him. But why? Perhaps it was that enthusiasm toward his goals which drew him in? Or maybe it was simply the passion lacing each word of his, waiting eagerly for someone to interject so that more could be added on. That toleration became admiration, and that admiration became blossoming feelings toward the man from the other department.

🎉 what is your farmer's favorite festival?

Dance of the Moonlight Jellies is by FAR his favorite festival out of all of the other festivals. Ulrich has a number of sensory issues and finds that other festivals are just too overwhelming for him to be at for long periods of time. At the Moonlight Jelly festival he finds he's able to stay for the entire duration without ending up having to make an excuse to beeline out of the situation. Plus, he has a fondness for the nature he's able to see.

🙄 do they have anyone they openly dislike? why?

Ulrich starts off as coming off as if he openly dislikes most people who interact with him. He can come off as dismissive and uncaring at first, but he generally tries to stay neutral toward the townsfolk.

With that being said, he 1000% dislikes Penny. He was fine with her initially, but after seeing how she treated George in her second heart event (or in this case, how she treated him while Ulrich happened to be walking by one day), his neutrality turned into open disdain. Especially since with a mobility aid, he's able to put himself in George's shoes. ESPECIALLY since telling her off caused a major friendship drain.

He also doesn't like Lewis in the slightest and finds him to be a pathetic excuse of a mayor.

🌈 how do they react when they find their first prismatic shard? what do they do with it?

During one of his many risky ventures into the mines, he'd unintentionally come across one after slaying a monster within the mines. Naturally, he'd react in pure astonishment, curious as to what the hell had happened. He's never been one to be considerably lucky, but would know what just happened to him was real fuckin' crazy. He'd probably keep it on display in his home, confused as to what to do with it.

His sister would be the one to tell him about some myth regarding the Galaxy Sword and he'd go to the pillars just to disprove such a ridiculous sounding thing. Imagine his shock when the sword dropped right in front of his feet.

#joja sona #sdv oc #stardew ulrich #i love this dumb guy i could ramble about his quirks for ages #oc asks #oc ask game #sdv #stardew valley #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS!!!!#joja corp

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sunnyanddumb98 · 2 years ago

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A cool girl by birthright, Presenting femme, serving cunt, Dickhead, heartless, and such, They/them by choice, anything but Feelings involved, I wasn't raised To be kind. clever, witty and funny,

Never Someone to fuck around, Everybody's best friend, fists And bar crawls. I left you behind? so sorry, Didn't see you around, Self-serving, self-deprecating ass, Moving too fast, light struck by chance? Overachiever, not in my mind.

What ifs? that I fail to imagine, To be cared for like a bouquet, But held like porcelain, Entitled to everything Working only for a love That holds me in the dark,

Not a clue of what it means to lack, Unable to see, unable to picture, Not being praised for being Ruthless, and ruthless I am, For there, it seems, I have no issues,

Naming events never struggles, Editorial line is made for A willing crowd to see me Never affected, always winning Cartoon character of their favourite Brand, kind, race, simply another Not something they can achieve

Or want Cool girl, my mother was A shell that helped her through horrid times, Mechanisms and skills are useless in my life, I carry of miscellaneous survival kit, Dissociating instead of sleep or rest, Shutting down in moments of stress, Compartmentalized feelings, depersonalization, Lack of expectations of everybody else, How could I ever be loved by someone?

If I take care of myself so fine if I love myself so much.

the unlovable cool girl who always gives all her heart.

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eriexplosion · 2 years ago

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1, 2, 8, 9, and 10 for Athelstan (and also Ragnar if you want to do that much? ) I'm fucking in love with your headcanons as always

AHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I have done Ragnar and Athelstan for all the questions because I am An Overachiever when it comes to never shutting the fuck up.

1.Their physical weak spots

Athelstan of course has his hands and feet - even once he finally is able to walk and hold a weapon again, they're never going to be the same as they were, and it will always be a weak point. His stamina is also lower than most of the Vikings, even after training - he just can't make up for a whole lifetime of training for battle. He keeps up well enough, but it's just harder for him than the others.

After his massive wound from Haraldson's raid on his village, Ragnar is always going to be a little weak on that side of his body. The majority of the wound was in his abdomen but the effects spread elsewhere too. Floki's work on him was very good, but it's still a miracle that he lived let alone was able to fight again, so a little bit of aftereffects in muscle strength are probably not unexpected.

2. Their emotional/moral weak spots

Athelstan is stronger emotionally than he really realizes I think, but he will always be easily frozen up by the fear of not being Good enough or not deserving the things that he has. Survivors guilt especially is always going to hang over him, after all of the death that surrounded him getting here. He's actually thrived here in ways that he never could at the monastery, so not only is he not dead he's. Actually doing very well for himself, which to him is MUCH WORSE.

Ragnar isn't upfront in the least, with almost anyone, and that holds him back, especially early on with Athelstan who is just trying to get answers or any sort of leg to stand on at all and Ragnar is just kind of 'lol why do you NEED to know if you're still a slave?' so really it's no wonder that Athelstan takes so long to acclimate. (This is admittedly why I like balancing him out with Floki who is surprisingly upfront about his thoughts given that people seem to take him for a liar, he just doesn't phrase them how others might expect.)

8. Bad memories/experiences

Athelstan's life has been a series of bad experiences, just, he is a SUPREMELY unlucky boy. But to expand on something I mentioned in my last batch of headcanons for him - he grew very close to another monk at the monastery, they were very close friends for several years as they grew up. Athelstan had a crush that he never mentioned, but he did very much worry he was going against god by Coveting The Company of someone, ESPECIALLY another monk (that's tempting another monk to sin! twice the sin!!!) and he never really got to resolve these feelings before his friend died of illness. He wasn't even able to be there when he passed, he found out after the fact. He blamed himself for a long time, and kind of still does on his worst days.

With how difficult of a time Lagertha seems to have getting pregnant and carrying to term, I wouldn't be surprised if her labors for both of their children were EXTREMELY difficult, so I imagine at with at least one of them there was a strong possibility of her dying in childbirth and Ragnar still remembers sitting up for the full length of an insanely long labor praying to the gods that his wife and child both make it through this.

9. Humiliating memories

One of my Athelstan headcanons is that he used to verbally stim quite a bit (think tongue clicking while he reads, humming, things like that) and it didn't go over well with the older monks as he was growing up. Getting him to stop meant long lectures, which escalated into having all discipline in front of the other young monks for some good old Public Shame until he forced himself to stay quiet like they wanted.

Ragnar has a habit of turning losses into wins, so there's actually not many memories he has that are completely humiliating. He tends to look for what he can Use in a loss, how he can turn it to his advantage. Probably one of the memories he finds both personally devastating and humiliating in a way is Rollo's betrayal - not because he didn't see it coming but because he DID see it coming and stayed in active denial until he couldn't anymore. And because of that, Arne died, Floki almost died, and the only reason Rollo wasn't executed was because of Ragnar's string pulling. It was a loss that had no gain AND it came right before his wife fucking divorced him for getting another woman pregnant. Bad series of events for Ragnar Lothbrok!

10. Fears/phobias

As mentioned above, Athelstan fears not being good enough and, once he's fully integrated into Viking culture this actually gets worse. After everything that's been done to support him he is very fucked up by the thought of somehow after everything NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH TO DESERVE IT.

Ragnar of course has that devastating fear of loss, which controls him more than he likes to think. Failure is something that's supposed to happen to OTHER people thanks and all loss is a failure on his part to prevent it. He has Issues he just thinks that he doesn't.

#Eri Answers #Vikings

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vampkomori · 3 years ago

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anyone else think neo’s reports are weird about composers i think theyre weird about composers. lets make sense of joshuas status as composer and hazuki as comparison

this is gonna be a bit long. so anyway the og reports are p straightforward about what Composers (specifically, joshua) can and cannot do:

- Joshua can only pick up Hanekoma’s vibe, because Angel vibes are too high frequency for him to pick up

- Inter-planar contact (so, communication between the UG and the Higher Plane in this case) is difficult, which is brought up because

- The Composer, Joshua, only resides in the UG.

- But the Producer, who is an Angel, mainly resides in the Higher Plane, and only occasionally lingers in the UG.

The whole matter of jumping between worlds highlights the difference between their abilities even more:

- As Composer, Joshua is one of the beings who can jump between worlds, but isn’t meant to do so often. His vibe dipped too low, so Hanekoma had to come retrieve him, because as an Angel this sort of travel is simple for him.

the OG reports make it pretty clear Joshua isnt an Angel

*But. unfortunately its not that easy. because by clearing the final time trial joshua gives you an item called Angel Feather (天使のハネ in JP), of which the description says “Our buyer used divine means to acquire this mysterious feather that was once in the possession of Shibuya's Composer.“ (which some have interpreted as, “in the possession of�� meaning “it was given to him” potentially by hanekoma, who actually IS an Angel)

and if things are vague, we turn to the JP to clear us up! but its. still vague there bc it says “バイヤーが特別な力で入手した渋谷エリアのコンポーザーが持っていた謎の羽根“ (The mysterious feather that was held/carried by the Composer of the Shibuya area that the buyer obtained with a special power)

so. we are none the wiser about whose feather this is. i imagine its up to interpretation whether its joshuas feather or hanekomas, who then gave it to joshua. but given how clearly the reports differentiate between the Composer and Angels in regards to their abilities, suffice to say theres two interpretations that are most likely

- Composers arent Angels, their power disparity is just too much

- Composers are Angels, but theyre so much weaker compared to the Angels who reside in the Higher Plane that they’re never referred to as Angels, just as Composers

which takes us to neo, and hazukis little lightshow

i think its notable that the reports dont comment on kubos so-called “exorcism”, and only on haz erasing his noise.

haz himself refers to his little stunt as “exorcising” kubo, while in JP he actually says haiki 廃棄, get rid of, revoke, invalidate.

i think its important that he clarified “i didnt erase him, i exorcised him”. because with kubo, the executor, being an Angel from the Higher Plane, a Composer shouldnt be able to erase someone of higher ranking than them. i think as the person who called upon kubo in the first place, haz could specifically revoke his services and send him back to the Higher Plane.

which means kubo wasnt erased, he was just sent back. hes still kickin

we could leave things right here as they are. Canonically, Composers are so far beneath Angels to a point where even if they were Angels themselves, they are so much weaker than them that they could hardly be referred to as such

this is where the facts end. but im gonna keep going and have fun speculating about things and include some i dont have physical proof of (yet)

its notable that in JP, hazuki says that kubo tried to purify shibuya probably because he wanted to be praised by Hazuki. which is weird if kubos supposed to be higher ranking than haz. (in EN, haz just says hes always been an overachiever) but lets put a pin in that for later 📌

which takes us to the matter of Shinjuku’s Producer. or their lack thereof

throughout all of neo’s reports, there is not a single mention of Shinjuku having a Producer. before neo, we kind of assumed every UG’s setup follows largely the same structure. a Composer, a Conductor, a Producer, and then some Reapers. but Shinjuku does not seem to have a Producer. and i think its because it doesnt need one.

its important to remember Who is writing these reports and Who theyre for. the reports are written by shibuyas Producer, and theyre written for the Higher Plane. and shibuyas Composer cant pick up the vibes of any Angel except hanekoma, so he cant be the one writing the reports for beings he cant even pick up the vibes from, especially since he only resides in the UG.

and yet, hanekoma comments that Hazuki should have filed a report, and that haz is disinterested in the lower planes.

in English its a little vague about who hes talking about, but the JP specifies Shinjukus Composer as the subject of this sentence.

throughout both reports, the UG and RG are considered part of the lower planes. its strange for a Composer to have no interest in the very planes they govern, plus for a Composer to file a report to the Higher Plane when its been established that Joshua, as a Composer, cant even perceive anyone from there.

so i think Hazuki may actually be a proper Angel from the Higher Plane, who was potentially demoted to become Shinjukus Composer.

though you can very much interpret haz “exorcising” kubo as simply “sending him back whence he came”, its of course pretty anticlimactic to see this massive laser beam essentially disintegrate kubo on a molecular level, only for it to have been a quick ride back to the higher plane with kubo being perfectly in tact after. if haz were actually much more powerful than an ordinary Composer, itd make sense why he would have been able to erase an Angel like kubo so. thoroughly.

this would also explain why kubo may have wanted to be praised by hazuki in the JP dialogue. with hazuki potentially being an outlier for Composers and being far Higher ranking than kubo, our executor may have wanted to sucker up a bit. maybe get promoted and away from his “basically a janitor” job if haz puts in a good word for him upstairs

theres also hazukis entire demeanor, and how Bad he is at acting like a normal person

we know of four paths that Players can take

they can choose erasure

they can choose resurrection to return to the RG

they can become Reapers

they can become Angels

and Reapers can eventually become Angels, though its yet unclear if the only way for that to happen is

for them to become Composer (potentially the Lowest Angel-rank there is) and thats it.

or if Composers can ascend and become Actual Angels and eventually reside in the Higher Plane, though how a successor for the seat of Composer is chosen in that scenario is yet entirely unknown since Usually the seat only becomes vacant when the previous Composer is defeated

or if they, as a Reaper, need to Ask the Composer who then asks the Producer to send a guy for evaluation or something

or if the Higher Plane has like, a talent scout guy somewhere.

potentially more than one may apply but at least the last point is the most likely, because

Conductors are invited to the Higher Plane (probably to become Angels) upon purification

(interesting to note that Composers are not mentioned as being invited, which would point to “theyre Angels, but like, weak-ass Angels”)

anyway, the point is that so far weve been told that Angels were Players or Reapers at one point. we know Joshua was a Player for sure, given the morsels of backstory we get from him and Hanekoma. but we dont know if All Angels came from the RG at one point, or if Angels that have always been Angels exist.

either way, the point is that for Hazuki to act so non-human like and to be disinterested in the UG and RG, he either must have been an Angel for a very long time, or he was never human to begin with.

this is relevant to how he interacts with joshua in the Secret Ending, though its a lot less obvious in English, in JP their dynamic is clear: Joshua is his senior, and as his junior, Hazuki looks to him as an example.

for one, thats hilarious. secondly, that recontextualizes like everything

‘course, you could keep the interpretation that theyre just Both weak-ass angels and hazuki just made kubo use a flashy dramatic elevator to the HP and nothing groundbreakingly powerful happened, but thats kinda anticlimactic

so. staying w the idea that hazuki may be a demoted Angel from the Higher Plane, then itd make sense for Joshua to have been Composer for longer than him, and for haz to act Like...That, since he couldve been not-human for a Very long time, or Never was one in the first place, but is still a younger Composer bc he got demoted like. 4 years back or something.

it also explains why Shinjuku may not need a Producer, and why Hazuki is the one writing his reports. its because hes still an Angel from the Higher Plane, so he does not need an intermediary to contact other Angels.

so to summarize what im tryna say here

Hazuki may have initially been a regular Angel from the Higher Plane, before he eventually got demoted to become Shinjukus Composer, despite how disinterested he is in the UG and RG. (he is considered to be “infamously unsympathetic”, a trait which is reinforced in the JP version to be something he is known for amongst the Higher Plane, which could potentially be the reason for his demotion)

Since hes Joshuas junior, that means he hasnt been Composer for as long as Joshua has, so Hazuki looks to him to know what youre even supposed to do/how to act/etcetera as Composer. With his Special circumstances, he does not need a Producer as an intermediary to interact with the Higher Plane, because hes already an Angel so he can do it himself.

whatever Angel Hierarchy there may be, Hazuki is at the very least a higher rank than an Executor, considering how kubo wanted to impress him, and how haz effortlessly got rid of him. with kubo being from the Higher Plane, joshua is decidedly lower ranking than kubo, and cant even pick up his vibe. which clearly positions haz into a unique circumstance as a Composer bc of this discrepancy in ranking and power. amen

<><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><>

theres other things that back this up but i unfortunately do not have a source for them, so This section, take with a grain of salt.

Supposedly, in neo’s data files:

Joshua is referred to as an Advanced Angel

Kubo as a Junior Angel, and

Hazuki as a Senior Angel

i only heard this secondhand and have no way of corroborating this myself, but if this is true then that lines up with the super long super sexy little essay i just wrote up there

this “ranking” solidifes Kubos position as Hazukis underling. which, if he were an ordinary Composer, wouldnt even be possible.

Joshua is notably a different rank from Haz, though its difficult to figure out if “Advanced” is supposed to be Lower than junior, or Higher than senior. thats up to interpretation until its possibly ever acknowledged,

but my interpretation is that an Advanced Angel is lower than a Junior Angel. i think “advanced” in this case is meant to refer to the traditional evolution of players to reapers to the composer, advancing from one status to the next.

**Little post-edit, @/inkerii gave me the actual designation in the files! (so this ones backed-up!)

so in the files, theyre designated ranks are as follows

Joshua: 男、天使上級 ※前作 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel ※from the Previous work)

Hazuki: 男、天使上級 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel)

Kubo: 男、天使下級 (Male, Junior/Lower Grade Angel)

so haz and joshua are the same rank bc theyre both Composers! since thats an internal data text kinda thing it might not have any bearing on like, potential Technical exceptions since they Are both the same “job”, but mightve gotten it under different circumstances.

as for kubo potentially being lower ranking than even a Composer, i think unless we find out what a Producers ranking is, we cant say much abt whether an Executors lower or higher. i kinda mean it in the sense of, Producers are a Composers subordinate bc they follow their orders and have to create the things theyre tasked to make by the Composer (pins, etc), but may still be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the Higher Plane/jump between parallel worlds, while a Composer cannot. an Executor may be in a similar position where theyre a Composers underling, tasked by Composers to purify things, but may actually be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the higher plane, etc!

i think regardless of whether kubo turns out to be lower ranking than joshua or not, hazuki could still be Even More Higher in a way where he actually has like, sway over whether he could get a promotion! if that was his intent. he could also just be a huge suck up. a real kiss ass. teachers pet for angels

---

theres also the ntwewy Official Guidebook, which has a small comment beneath hazuki that says

and i additionally remember an interview, though i dont have a source for this claim and i could very much be misremembering, but i recall seeing the reason for hazuki not being the final boss is because they did not think players could suspend their disbelief far enough to accept that the twisters would be able to defeat a being from the Higher Plane.

which is perfectly reasonable, but

Composers are meant to be able to be defeated by Players or Reapers. if hazuki really was so powerful that itd be impossible for them to defeat him, then hed be far too strong to be an ordinary Composer, since thats. how you take over in the first place. thats kinda the whole plot of og twewy.

anyway that concludes my case

#neo twewy spoilers #neo twewy #ntwewy #the world ends with you #twewy meta #hazuki mikagi #twewy composer #vampymori.txt #(uses my gay little brain to figure out a way the neo reports dont retcon lore) BEHOLD....#i like this bc its funny as hell to think haz like. did something to be DEMOTED?#SORRY THAT CONCEPTS HILARIOUS TO ME #i didnt talk abt it much but the fact that hes called Infamously Unsympathetic #and in JP it additionally implies that the Higher Plane thinks this way of him as well #that means. they hated his ass so much they were like GET OUT #oh another thing. i didnt know where to add it #but in neos social network joshua is referred to as 'a being from a Higher Plane'#its notable that it says 'a' not 'the' Higher Plane (capitalized) bc the og reports do say the UG is on a higher plane than the RG #so like. its true. just a weird way to say hes from the UG #im p sure joshuas never BEEN to The actual Higher Plane #he wouldnt even be able to SEE anyone there. much less elevate his vibe that high #anyway. godspeed thanks for reading #hazuki demotion theory #is what im basically calling this LOL

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rrazor · 4 years ago

Note

what is your skincare routine 🥺 plus imagine doing face masks with ur hq boy 😩😩 pleeaaaaaaseeee manifest

my routine is just a bunch of serums + moisturizer topped off with an obsession with cosrx :^)

here’s some of my personal h/c’s about their routine and how u fit in 💖

kuroo overexfoliated when he was 16 and that’s when he decided to get into skincare 🤡 but you’re really the one who ties it all together and finishes it 😤 has a bunch of blackheads and is hesitant about using acids but trusts you when you rec a bha (salicylic) and to his surprise it works!! you teach other about ingredients and formulations (more teaching on your end since he’s such an overachiever and is in a million different things) but his skin really goes 🌺🌺 when he’s got a routine down.

another amazing boyfriend to do self-care days with because he needs them so much 😭💞 spends the whole day by your side at home doing whatever whenever and holding your hand the whole way through 💖 does the spoon in the fridge technique to depuff his eyes after a late night and always sends u morning selfies with them on his face all “Good morning my Fated One 🥄👄🥄” 💀💀💀

bokuto already has a skincare routine kudos of his sisters when you start dating and only gets back into doing it regularly when he learns you like doing it too 💕 he wants to spend more time with you as if he isn’t already glued to your hip 😭🤚💗💗

but he slaps his face really hard like really hard 😵 you have to teach him to gently dab and work the product into the skin but he sits like a good boy on the edge of the tub and closes his eyes for you 💛💛 keeps his hands on your hips too ☺️ gets acne here and there and sticks on the pimple patches you give him while telling you “y'know, babe, since you gave these to me, it’s like ur kissing me all night long!!! 🥺🥰😚💕” kiss him now pls

akaashi looks like he has his life together but his skincare routine is 😬 uses bar soap and the same anti-aging face lotion as his mom but his skin is 🌹🌸🌺✨he’s skeptical when he tries out new products but he comes around pretty quickly when he notices how less fatigued he looks 💀

he loves doing masks with you and likes to do one in the morning and one at night because you’ve got him hooked now 😤 he’s so dewy oh my god man is literally gleaming like a diamond 💎✨what have u done….. i bet he has a gua sha and rolls your face for you too 🥺 he’s so gentle omg stop…. looks at u with the softest look in his eyes when you giggle at how funny the sheet masks make the two of you look 💞❤️💕💓💝

oikawa while it’s universally thought in fanon that oikawa is a skincare junkie, i’d say that he’s more so really picky and meticulous. he has specific steps he follows to the t and knows how and when to bring in a new product for any seasonal weather and other changes in his skin. he’s not necessarily going to try your products unless he’s convinced they’ll work for him (everyone’s different after all), but he’s definitely open to you trying his and sharing what you both know 😤💗💗

easily one of the best boyfriends to have self care days with: nails, hair, face, online shopping, you name it, he’ll do it with you 🥰💄💅 i think he hates hyaluronic acid and avoids it like the plague lmfao one of his favourite ways to pass the evenings is the two of you together gossiping with your masks on and eating snacks 🌹🥰🥰🌹

iwaizumi lmfao this mf’er is sooo handsome 🥵 so i say oily skin that’s prone to breakouts 😇 yeah i think iwa struggles with acne and his scars, but he gets lucky that he grows out it by third/fourth year university 😘 uses a basic cleanser marketed towards acne 🤢🤢 and some moisturizer🧴he doesn’t trust oikawa with skincare recommendations because one of the product he gave him had glycolic acid in it and iwa’s skin said 👹

he’s reluctant but lets you help him with his skin and it makes a notable improvement throughout your relationship 👍✨gets heart palpitations when you grab his face and kiss him all over 💘💘 and genuinely thinks you’re one of the best thing to have happened to him when you coo “so handsome hajime 💕” yeah i just think he’s a sucker for you saying his first name lmao

matsukawa he has pretty decent skin, maybe a bit oily and will get spots here and there but overall puberty said nah this one’s cool 😎👍 so he comes in with very basic knowledge about skincare. though bless his heart, he tries out a bunch of stuff with you and is always open to doing masks and trying out new products with you 🥺💖

his skin is pretty resilient so watch him go 😨🤭 when you breakout and he doesn’t jgjebnfkwzl he kisses ur acne scars and spots tho so dw he madly in love ok? 😘🥰❤️ once he starts seeing the changes, he keeps up with the routine you made together for him but he likes to beg for you to do it for him “aw, c’mon babe don’t u want your hands all over this? 😩🤚💕💓💦” i hate him

hanamaki he has a mini routine and knows the general steps from his older sister and because i firmly believe he has dry, sensitive skin. he avoids fragrances, alcohols and all the sulphates and parabens but weirdly his skin is okay with silicones. anyways, he’s the one that introduces you to these amazing korean face masks and now you’re both hooked, spending weekends and days off at his house walking around with ur masks on all 💓👽👽💓

a little bit harder to work with in terms of exploration with your products but he finds his cheeks pinking 💖 and heart beating a little harder 🥰 when you go out of your way to find products that fit his criteria and gets rlly sappy when you start using them too 😭💓💕 he buys the bigger bottles for himself and small bottles for u because he’s whipped (and funny) that way 😐💖

kita looks like he and his grandma would some diy face masks together 🥰❤️ he’s got a basic cleanser and moisturizer but doesn’t do much else. spends a lot of time learning about the products and right steps so he can be a useful partner when you go shopping together 🥺💘💞

he comes to love oils, especially squalane and rosehip seed oil. also becomes a vitamin c junkie 😤 he’s a stickler for patch-testing and comes to really enjoy the whole skincare process in the morning and evenings as his own me time. really appreciates and thanks you for sharing this part of your daily life with him 🥺💘💞💞💖 invites you over to do masks with his grandma 😘

atsumu yeah he gets his beautiful skin from his mom and literally everything else because his mom is 🌸✨in both personality and looks. exfoliates three to four times a week and still looks amazing so you really have to wonder what his skin is doing and what yours isn’t 😔

when he finds the products that work™️ for him (kudos to you), he genuinely cannot stop admiring the shine of his skin after someone points it out he’s all 👁👃👁✨ and calls you up “babe ‘m beautiful did’ja know look at me look” 😐 likes to do skincare routines together but rushes through his so that he can do other stuff with you 😭💗💖💕 hates it when you push him away and don’t let him kiss you while your products are settling 🥺☹️💔

osamu my guy here is also blessed with naturally occurring bacteria that gives him beautiful skin like life rlly isn’t fair 😟😟 he doesn’t know much but lets you do whatever and loves loves loves it when you put all the products on him 🥺❤️ sits down between your legs all 💗🐶💗 prefers mud masks over sheet ones and likes to smear yours on for u 🥰

he comes to love skincare, not as much as you but enjoys how his face feels after he’s all moisturized and such. though he never remembers sunscreen so please carry some with you 😭 he buys you snacks and sneaks kisses while u wait for your products to settle on ur face 💖💖 uses a jade roller in the mornings as he checks his phone because it feels nice 👍✨✨

suna sensitive skin but relatively normal in terms of oiliness. ik he steals his younger sister’s products if they’re close in age 💀 he has very little idea how to get started so when he jumps in and tries one of yours he breaks out really bad and curses you lmfaoooo 👿👿👹🤡

ok but once he gets a decent routine in, he does his best to keep up with it and it helps!! his skin feels less tight and more supple so he might love you a little more for that 🙄🤚💖 he prefers sheet masks and lets you clip his curtain bangs to the side✨ also looks like the kinda guy who likes to sit on the balcony/patio with his mask on and soak up the sun in the mornings after you both have your sunscreen on 🌼🌼

ushijima his skin is dehydrated but he doesn’t know it, has accepted the oiliness of his skin as a symptom of his athletics 😔 he’s got a bunch of expensive luxury products given to him by his mom and she’s told him to use them but he doesn’t know what the right order is so he puts on an occlusive first before anything else 😭😭😭

genuinely appreciates you so much when you take the time to teach him about everything and even asks if you could give him some notes so that he can refer to them when you’re not by his side 🥺💗💕💖 joins you in your product endeavours and gives you succinct but helpful feedback on what he likes and doesn’t like 😤 likes to hold you while u do masks together 🌼 and rests his head on urs 😭🌸💕

tendou uses whatever he’s got at home and what his mom gets him 🤷‍♀️ spots here and there but otherwise pretty clear skin. he’s open to trying anything and everything with you because he’s just really happy to spend time with you 🥰💞💞

sits really close to you and let’s you have free reign of his face when you sleep over at his place!! he giggles a lot because it tickles but never asks you to stop 🥺💜 thanks you for helping him and making him look so pretty 🌷✨looks like he’d be allergic to propolis/honey-based ingredients...

semi handsome man…. another one that looks dehydrated to me but he’s trying just please help him 😭🤚 he’s too nervous to go skincare shopping on his own because of the sheer amount of selection available 😢 tags along with you like a little puppy when you go with him 🐶💘

i feel like he has closed comedones 🤔 he tries out your retinol and keeps up with it when you told him some people got rid of theirs using it and…… it worked 😳🌟✨ thinks you’re a skincare goddess now lmfao 😤👊 when girls in university ask him about his skin, he just calls you and puts you on speaker because “my baby worked rlly hard so she should get all the credit” 😭💖💖

sakusa i think rosacea but also wealthy parents who had access to numerous dermatologists who nipped it in the bud as soon as they saw it 🤑 anyways he’s got near perfect skin lol goes through periods of dryness and keeps a strict regimen of products 👌🌟 swears by aloe vera and keeps some with him at all times 💗

though i do think you gently push him to introduce serums and essences into his routine (which is basic, but covers all his bases). you let him experiment and he finds one from cosrx that he considers a holy grail 😳 he likes doing ur skincare routine for you and you sit on the toilet seat and grin up at him 🥰 he blushes but doesn’t look away and might or might not admit he loves to be in such close contact with you 💘💘

hoshiumi kinda brutal with the way he goes about it; it looks like he’s beating the product in 💀👊👊 uses bar soap on both his face and body and wonders why his skin is dry and tight after showers “what? doesn’t that mean you didn’t clean all the gross oil off?” 😶😐😑 u gotta start from scratch with this guy 🤐

he pays attention to you but also doesn’t and finds it a bit of a hassle to go through five different products so he settles for a really basic routine 🥱 has one really fancy bottle of serum he takes with him to games and such and goes “my girlfriend gave it to me what don’t you have something like this 🤔” before putting it on if anyone asks 💀🤚💗 a full on chad 💪

hirugami he definitely has a skincare routine…. handsome 🤤 though i think he dislikes the feeling of sheet masks on his face; they feel too goopy and he doesn’t like how slimey they are. he prefers just using a short list of serums to keep his skin healthy and plump 💖✨likes hypoallergenic and fragrance-free products 👌

had acne back in middle school and a bit in first year. feel like he goes through a flare up in third year 😇🙃 anyways he likes standing next to u in the washroom doing ur routines side by side 🥰 wears those fluffy animal ear headbands with you and puts on your lip balm for you 💓💓 his dog came up and licked u across the face one time 😭 he almost choked with how hard he was laughing at u 😔 but he helped u redo it 😭💝

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gothgirlmahi · 4 years ago

Text

Tight Fit

Summary: This is just porn. You’re a receptionist that gets stuck in an elevator. Everyone is very happy about that.

This was just an excuse to write my faves :) Masterlist

No beta, I live on the edge.

Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader, Thor x Reader

Warnings: All the smut. Very corny porn with no plot. One line of implied Stucky. Minors DNI

The situation you found yourself in was altogether ridiculous. You had to deliver some documents to another floor. The information could have been handled by a phone call but bureaucracy. After hitting the button on the elevator, you realized you left one of the documents at your desk. A quick jog back to grab them left you running back to the elevator, scrambling to get between the doors before they closed. Then it happened.

You were stuck.

Somehow, you managed to get caught around your waist. Your upper body and head faced the inside of the elevator while your lower half was still stuck facing your desk. The papers you held spilled to the floor inside the elevator. The doors were tightly cinched around you, giving no leeway as you tried to wiggle your way out. You could feel your skirt riding up with the effort you exerted.

Steps coming down the hall caught your attention. Someone could help you!

“Ma’am, are you okay?”

Judging by the voice it was Captain Rogers. America’s golden boy. Gorgeous Steve Rogers. You went weak in the knees at the sound of him and if you weren’t being held up by the elevator, you were sure you’d be swooning.

“Uh,” you tried your best to look behind you and through the doors, “can you help me out of here? I kind of had a little incident.”

“Oh?”

With your head turned, you watched as he came closer and put down his shield. The angle soon became too much for your neck and you turned back around, sighing and dejected.

“How bad is it?” you asked. He was silent for a moment.

“It doesn’t look bad at all. Maybe I can help.”

Steve came closer and firmly held you by the waist. The first attempt to pull you out was unsuccessful but he was undeterred.

“Maybe if I just...get closer.”

He stood right behind you to ground himself. His crotch was pressed up against your behind and your eyes widened.

Was he hard? That very much felt like an erection.

He pulled again, with a little more force this time. You may have budged by about an inch but no more.

“I don’t think it’s working,” you told him. He didn’t say anything. His hands began to wander along your lower back and down the sides of your thighs.

“Uh, Captain Rogers? Is something wrong?” you asked.

“Sorry, I just...your ass is so—I mean. I think maybe if I pull your skirt up I can get you out.”

That didn’t make a whole lot of sense. But if Captain America wanted to ogle your ass you’d be a willing model for him. Even if he wanted to do a little more than that, it would be alright with you.

“Go ahead,” you urged him. You heard him sign in relief behind you before bunching your skirt up at your waist. He made a pained noise behind you.

“Your ass is amazing.”

“I thought you were getting me out?”

“I will, but consider this. You want to get out. I want to get off. Maybe we can help each other out.”

This was better than any wet dream or any fantasy you crafted. Captain America was asking to fuck you.

“Yes, yes, a million times yes.”

Steve spanked you lightly before rubbing his hands all over your ass. He massaged it tenderly, kneading and appreciating the supple flesh. One of his hands lifted your thong and held it by the string.

“You always wear these to work?”

“Every single day,” you answered him. He chuckled behind you before pushing the material to the side.

The sound of his belt buckle excited you. How many people could say they got fucked by Captain America, one of the hottest people on the planet? How many people knew Captain America was an ass man?!

You both let out groans as he entered you. He was big, but you were ready. Plenty of sleepless nights riding dildos and imagining it was him had you prepared for anything he could give you. He slammed into you hard and you let out loud moans into the space of the elevator.

Steve’s hands never left your ass as he fucked you. Pinching and squeezing while he rammed into you. Soft groans of pleasure left his mouth, spurring on your own enjoyment. You bit your bottom lip, trying to keep your screaming to a minimum and braced one of your hands on the wall even though Steve was doing a good job of keeping you in place.

“Steve, it feels so good,” you cried out. He cupped your ass cheek, shaking it in his hand.

“I love watching your ass jiggle. Everyday you come in wearing these skirts. I’ve wanted to fuck you for months.”

The idea that you could have had this months ago made you want to kick yourself. You could have been fucking Captain America months ago?!

Steve sped up the rhythm of his hips, eagerly fucking you. Your body was alight with pleasure, happily taking everything he gave you.

“Such a tease, sweetheart. It’s like you’ve been taunting me all this time. Is this what you wanted?”

“Oh fuck yes!”

Steve laughed at your reply and reached his hand under you to play with your clit. Your legs shook at the stimulation and you cried out, clenching around him. Steve slapped your ass hard and had you coming all over his cock, moaning and squirming as much as you could in your position. He touched you until you were overstimulated and soon he was filling you up while a low moan of your name escaped his lips. He pulled out and let some of his cum spurt over your ass. You let out a deep sigh at the feeling of him dripping out of you.

Steve stood straight behind you and you heard him shift his weight while he fixed your underwear in place and pulled your skirt back over your ass.

“I’ll be back. Maybe Tony has something that can help.”

You sighed as you heard him step away and enter the stairwell. Sure he was fast, but he’d have to find Tony first. And there were how many floors in this building? Even with the elevator it was still a sizable ride from the first to top floor. You would probably be stuck for a while.

With nothing to do, you twiddled your thumbs before trying to wiggle around and get out. No luck. You were really jammed in there.

You perked you when you heard the door to the stairwell open.

“Steve?” you called out.

“Hey—whoa, what happened to you?” Definitely not Steve.

“Sergeant Barnes?” you asked. This was an embarrassing position to be caught in. Never in your life did you think you’d be greeting the Winter Soldier ass first. Oh well.

“Are you okay?”

You had just been fucked by one of the hottest men you’d ever met. Things could certainly be worse.

“I’m okay, but I’m stuck. Steve was here and he went for help. Do you think you can get me out of here?”

He had a metal arm for crying out loud. If he couldn’t get you out, who could?

“Hmm, let’s see.” You heard him approach and stop a bit behind you. He made a thoughtful noise.

“You have something on your skirt.”

Oh no. Now this was embarrassing.

Found stuck in an elevator covered in Captain America’s jizz.

“Oh, I must have, err, sat in something earlier!”

“I’m going to try to pull you out, okay?” he asked.

“Sounds good to me!”

Bucky placed his hands on your hips and pulled, receiving the same result as his friend.

“Geez, you’re really in there. How did this even happen?”

You shrugged as best you could in your position.

“By all means it doesn’t make sense and yet, here I am.”

Bucky chuckled behind you.

“Okay, I think I get what’s going on here.”

“Huh? What’s going on?”

“If you wanted me to fuck you, you could have just told me. You didn’t have to do some elaborate scheme.”

“But I’m not—“ you stopped yourself as you realized what he was saying, “umm, yeah. You caught me. Was it that obvious?”

It was really your lucky day. Getting laid by two Avengers? What could be better?

“Steve is such an overachiever. He covered you. God, I want to taste you.”

You perked up, suddenly not very keen on your escape plan.

“Then do it! I mean—that would be great! Do whatever you want to me!”

Bucky pulled your skirt up from where it clung to your skin. He groaned at the sight of you before getting to his knees.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, doll. I gotta get my tongue in that pretty pussy. Clean you up. Stevie really made a mess.”

You were nearly rabid from excitement.

Bucky pulled your thong down your legs and you happily stepped out of it. He lowered his face to your pussy and licked a stripe from your clit to your folds. He sucked on your lips sloppily before pulling away.

“Oh yeah. That’s definitely Rogers.”

You quirked an eyebrow.

“How would you—oh fuck!” Bucky took your clit between his plump lips and sucked hard, leaving you gasping for air. He moved his mouth up, pushing his tongue inside you and moaning as he cleaned you up.

He ate you like a starving man. Within minutes your legs were weak and ready to give out while he pressed against all your sensitive spots. His tongue began to circle your clit and you squirmed, pushing back against his face desperately. Bucky pushed a metal finger deep into your cunt and you moaned his name, still trying to push your hips even further against him. When he pressed another thick digit into you and curled his fingers, you were a goner. Vision blurred and body convulsing while he continued through your orgasm. A little burst of liquid from between your legs had your face heating up in embarrassment as you came down from your high.

Bucky pulled away from you and sat back on his heels.

“That was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire life.”

“That’s never happened before,” you confessed. You could practically hear the smirk on his face.

“Didn’t know I was that good, but glad to be of service. When I get you out of here, I want you to sit on my face.”

“No complaints from me. That is, if I ever get out of here.”

“Hey, don’t worry. We’re going to get you out of here. I’m going to go find Steve and we’ll figure this out.”

He pulled your skirt back down and skipped off into the stairwell. You couldn’t help but notice he kept your underwear. You supposed it didn’t matter at this point, you weren’t exactly doing great at keeping up an air of modesty. You were starting to get sore around your middle from the cinch of the elevator door and hoped they would be back soon.

When the door to the stairwell swung open and someone else stepped out, you could tell by their gait it wasn’t either of the men you had already encountered.

“What is this? Who has done this to you?” Thor bellowed at the sight of you.

“No one did this to me,” you explained.

“This is strange. Some sort of Midgardian tradition?”

“No. I had to deliver some files and I got stuck in here.”

“A helpless maiden. This is certainly a problem I can solve. I’ll have to hold on to you. I hope that is not indecent?”

“Go ahead. Might as well try,” you encouraged him.

Thor circled his hands around your waist and pulled at an angle. To your surprise, you moved just the slightest bit. An idea hit you and you called out for him to stop.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked in concern.

“No, uhh—“

You had one chance to get this right. If Thor could actually get you out of here, maybe you could wait just a little longer and request something else.

“Thor, if you want to, we could do something else before I get out of here.”

“Oh? What could we do in this position?”

“I don’t mean to be forward, but if you want to fuck me you can.”

Thor was silent for a moment. You wanted to hit yourself for sounding so slutty. But you’d be crazy to set aside the opportunity. This wasn’t just anyone, there was a literal god standing behind you. It would be ridiculous not to even offer.

At east that’s what you convinced yourself.

“Well, who am I to deny a beautiful woman her carnal pleasure? I would love to fuck you,” he nearly growled.

You felt like you won the lottery.

Thor pushed your skirt up and gasped at what he saw.

“Oh, you are absolutely dripping. A very welcome sight.”

“Oh, yeah. Steve and Bucky are to blame for that.”

“Ah, they arrived here before I did. This won’t do at all. I’ll have to fill you with my godly seed.”

“You are more than welcome to do that.”

Thor pressed his thumb against your clit and you sighed, reveling in his touch. While he touched you, you heard him fumbling with his armor with his other hand. Thor pulled his hand away from you. Before you could complain, the head of his cock was pressed against your clit and rubbing in mesmerizing circles.

“Ah, that feels good,” you told him.

“I have something that will feel even better. Are you ready?”

“I can’t say yes enough.”

When he pressed against your entrance you realized just how thick he was. Certainly larger than Steve and bigger than any man you had ever been with. He pushed slowly into you, opening up your tight channel for him. Your inner walls clung snugly around his length as he fed you more and more of his cock. Just as you felt like it would never end, his hips were pressed firmly against you.

You let out a shocked gasp.

He stayed there for a bit to let you adjust but you wiggled your hips in protest. You wanted it now. His first thrust had you arching your back and holding onto the elevator door to keep yourself upright. It was like he was touching all of your insides at the same time. Brushing past every single sensitive spot you had and driving you crazy.

You were out of your mind as he fucked you. Absolutely drunk on his cock.

This is it, you thought. My hoeing is going to get me killed.

But what a way to go.

Thor grunted behind you and placed a hand on the back of your neck while the other firmly kept hold on your hip.

“You are breathtaking,” he complimented.

“Yeah,” you managed to get out, “we’ll have to do this again some time.”

“You’ll have no complaint from me,” he assured you.

This experience would probably ruin normal men for you. Nothing could compare.

Thor made you cum so hard your legs went limp. He was pressed deep inside you, leaving you clenching hard around his thick length. Thor fucking growled as he came, thrusting so hard that both of you were pushed through the elevator doors and onto the floor.

His quick reflexes were the only thing stopping him from landing directly on top of you, instead landing beside you at your back. Sometime during your fall his cock had slipped out of you, leaving cum dripping down your thighs.

You had to laugh. The situation was too insane. But you were free! You turned to Thor with a bright smile.

“I could kiss you!” you yelled in excitement. Thor looked intrigued and opened his arms for you.

“I encourage it!”

You fell on top of him, smothering his lips with yours. Neither of you noticed the doors closing and the elevator ascending.

The doors opened to a shocked Tony and Pepper, looking down in horror at the mess of papers you and Thor were lying half naked in, still making out.

“How the hell are we going to explain this to HR?”

Important Author’s Note: I really wanna make out with Thor.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #winter solider x reader #thor x reader #thor x you #stucky x reader #marvel x reader

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b-lessings · 4 years ago

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10 lessons I learned from the first 10 days of Ramadan 🌙

(personal, subjective, and in no particular order)

1) It's a constant work and it doesn't get easier. This is the first thing that came into my mind. As a matter of fact, the daily routine of this month is no joke, whichever deeds you try to perform and incorporate in your deen from the 5 obligatory prayers, to the sunnah, to the nawafil, to the azkar, to the Qur'an recitation, to the daily x number of istighfar you promised yourself you'd achieve, it is a lot of work, especially if you have a family to take care of, a job or school to go to, or more critically, if your mental health is not at its best condition. Every day (or night), you get out of bed and you're back at square one, you have all this list of tasks to do, and it gets a lot some times, and you do feel exhausted (but if you are among the lucky ones, then it is the good kind of exhausted), and it's not like your prayers are gonna perform themselves, you have to ger up, you have to act. That's why you need to constantly remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place. What is the point of fasting and waking up in the middle of the night to pray and spending hours throughout the day just remembering Allah swt and reading his book, etc. You have to remind yourself of the ultimate purpose of this month, that we are sacrificing the worldly pleasures for the sake of Allah swt, to gain Taqwa, to be in a state of constante awareness and consciousness of Allah's presence, to get closer to Allah swt the most gracious the most merciful, and that if we don't actually put on some work and effort, we won't get to where we want to go, we won't achieve any of that. It is good to keep things in perspective. Be aware of what you are doing, where you are now, where do you wanna go and what it takes to get you there. If it's constant work and effort, then be it.

2) You can't achieve anything by yourself, your intentions are not enough, you need Allah's support. In fact, for the first couple of days I was so confused, I had to ask my sisters " If the devils are all locked away, why do I feel like I can't focus? " And I was constantly asking myself, if I have already prepared, downloaded the calendars and planners, put up a big board on my bedroom wall, etc., Why do I feel like my Iman is getting low?, AstaghfiruAllah. Aren't we supposed to feel on cloud nine? In a state of pure bliss? And then I came across a khutbah where the Sheikh may Allah swt bless him answered my question. He explained that even though Shaytan is locked away, he has already programmed us, for 11 months (he even made a joke that Shaytan deserves a month off because he has been working too hard for the rest of the year). Anyways, what I realized is even your will and your plans and your excitement about Ramadan and your promises to do so and so deeds is not enough if you don't ask Allah swt for support, for sabr, for guidance, for help, for strength to be able to fulfill those ibadat and carry out the plans you have made for this month. You need to constantly ask Allah swt because who else is our refuge? Who else is our source of strength and patience ? Who else will keep us steadfast on the straight path? And who else is gonna help us against the traps of Shaytan? No matter how willing or excited or determined you are to perform your prayers, finish reading the Qur'an, etc, you still need Allah swt to bless your deeds, every step of the way. Without Him, nothing can be achieved. So in your sujood, ask Him that He give you enough strength to finish that prayer in full Khushoo' and concentration, and after that prayer, ask him for sabr and strength to manage to perform the next one and the one after. Tell Him that you seek refuge in Him from the traps of Shaytan, from laziness and lethargy, from the disoriented heart and the distracted mind. Show Him that you are vulnerable and that even though you are trying to do this for Him, you actually can't do it without Him. SubhanAllah.

3) Forgive yourself when you fall short.

{يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ بِكُمُ الْيُسْرَ وَلَا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ الْعُسْرَ}

{God intends for you ease and does not want hardship for you}

Allah swt literally said this in Surat Al Baqara (The Cow) when he prescribed Fasting upon us and introduced us to the holy month of Ramadan. Soz read it again. As simple as that, I am not gonna develop this idea further.

4) No matter how much you prepared before Ramadan came, you aren't prepared enough. Well, are you familiar with the saying that Ramadan is like a marathon and you have to prepare for it way before? That's actually true. And guess what? No matter how much you think you are prepared, there are still gonna be some moments when you'd still feel out of breath, where you wish you'd have prepared more. May Allah swt make us reach the end of this month smoothly and seamlessly. May Allah swt bless us and accept our deeds from beginning to end.

5) Our deeds don't get accepted because they're good enough, they get accepted because Allah is merciful. I heard this in a youtube khutba just last night and it resonated with me. Put this in your mind, learn it by heart, print it out on your forehead if necessary! No matter how perfect you think your deeds are, they won't get accepted because you're an amazing slave of Allah swt and you win at worship and ibadah. Don't get too confident, beware of arrogance, control your ego. Stay humble and know your place. The only reason why your deeds would be accepted is because Allah swt will have mercy on you, not because you are so good that your deeds would qualify you for forgiveness and acceptance. So pray that Allah swt accepts our deeds and pray that he encompasses us with His mercy.

6) Don't compare to others, don't get intimidated by others, we are not on the same journey. Walk your own rocky path. I can't stress this enough. I know a lot of brothers and sisters Mashaa'Allah, Allahuma barik, are overachievers, or they might just be out of our league. And sometimes, through social media, we see what they share (in their attempt to motivate us and share some tips and good deeds, spread the knowledge, May Allah swt bless them, accept their deeds and reward them), so we get intimidated. Sometimes it feels like what we are doing is not good enough because it doesn't even compare to what X or Y are doing. And we feel a bit scared that we are not good enough of slaves for Allah swt or that Allah swt wouldn't be pleased with us like He swt would be pleased with them, and we can even feel unworthy and get discouraged ( beware it's a shaytan trap). It is simple though, your path to Allah swt is very personal. What a brother or a sister does only get to inspire you not discourage you or intimidate you. When you see someone sharing something good or beneficial, make duaa for them and make duaa for yourself then leave it at that. Competition is taking over every aspect of our worldly life, we shouldn't let it mess with this sacred part as well. And remember, we are not all on the same journey to Allah swt. It is okay if you can't recite the Qur'an in such a beautiful way or if you can't pray 10 rakaas of Taraweeh, it is okay if you can't read in Arabic or if you don't learn any hadith by heart. Allah swt is patient enough and considerate enough. Scratch that, He swt is the most patient, the most considerate, the most gracious, the most generous, and He appreciates your effort. What matters for Him is your sincerity and the purity of your intentions.

7) The less food you take, the more energy you will have. FACTS. I mean, imagine the struggle of having to pray Ishaa and Taraweeh on a full stomach where every time you get down for sujood you feel like your soup is coming up :/ Allahu almusta'aan. This month is not about feasting. It is literally about giving up pleasures (food being one of them) to focus on Allah. So, Focus on what's important and set your priorities straight.

8) Don't overdue it. Beware of the ghost of Burnout. So yeah, like I already said earlier, it is a lot of work and it requires preparation and constant effort. The aim is to be at our best shape of health and Iman on the last 10 nights because they are the most sacred, the most important, the most blessed. You might wanna consider starting small with your deeds and building up slowly. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even if it were little." [Al Bukhari]

9) Personalize your ibadat / plans. In other words, do what's best for you and what's beneficial for you. Define your weaknesses and the areas in which you want to improve. Don't just do this or that deed because everyone else is doing them. Do not follow blindly. What is good for you might not be the thing recommended or done by the others. And what you need on your faith journey is not what X or Y needs. You will be judged on your own deeds, your own journey. Have a purpose and a reason for what you are doing and why you are doing that. Also, the more you feel like your plan or your routine is personal, the more you can relate to it and connect with it, the more sincere you will be, the more excited and enthousiastic you will be, and the easier it will be for you to perform your ibadat in Shaa Allah.

10) Too much information can be poisonous. If ,like me, you got into a habit of watching lectures and videos of speakers this Ramadan, then breaking news: it might get confusing. I don't want you to feel lost and confused. Allahima barik the resources are countless and limitless. But also, you have to beware whom you listen to. There are different sects, different perspectives, different rulings on certain things. So, try not take things blindly. Take them with a pinch of salt and always try to do a background check. And eventually, when it gets too much, always choose what's best for your heart, because we are created with an innate sense of "right" , our fitrah is sane, Alhamdulillah. So, try to be critical. Allah swt even recommends that.

I hope this post can be beneficial. Tell me which part you related to the most, and if you have any extra tips, please share. May Allah swt accept our deeds and grant us forgiveness, amen. 🤍

#ramadan thoughts #tips #ramadan experience #islam #رمضان١٤٤٢ #شهر رمضان #رمضانيات #sabr #muslims on tumblr #muslims #Allah

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alexsfictionaddiction · 3 years ago

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Review: Roxy by Neal and Jarrod Shusterman

Neal Shusterman’s Arc of a Scythe series is very popular within the book blogging/BookTube world and it’s a series that I’ve been interested in for a while. Despite owning the first two books, I’ve not had a chance to pick them up yet (story of my life!) but I was very excited to read his newest release, co-authored with his son Jarrod.

When the sensual yet fatal Roxy places a bet with her overachieving friend Addison to see who can bring someone to ‘The Party’ first, siblings Isaac and Ivy Ramey are in their dangerous and deadly firing line. Of course, the bright lights and the sweet relief of the drugs are incredibly attractive to unassuming minds and the Rameys are both on a fast track to the trouble that lies beyond the grip of their new best friends.

I can honestly say that I have never read from the point of view of drugs themselves before. Roxy is Oxycontin, a powerful opiod prescribed as a painkiller to Isaac after a football injury. Watching her slow takeover of his mind as he develops a dependency on her (through her ‘eyes’) was so disturbing but an incredibly unique perspective. I imagined Roxy to be a beautiful, dark seductress, who completely bewitched the helpless, mere mortal, teenage Isaac. I can imagine that developing an addiction is exactly like getting into an intense, toxic relationship that you don’t realise is bad for you until it’s way too late.

Watching the drugs interact with each other at ‘The Party’, which I can only assume is some kind of invisible venue that is not on our plain, where they all congregate. Al (alcohol) is always there because he gets everywhere. Molly (MDMA), Mary Jane (marijuana), the Coke brothers Charlie and Dusty (cocaine) and Crys (crystal meth) are all regular fixtures at The Party. I was blown away by the detail of this strange yet somehow plausible world that the Shustermans built for these drugs to inhabit.

Ivy has unmedicated ADHD, which causes her to run into trouble at school. To get through her final year, she takes Addison (Adderall) to up her focus and energy levels in order to get her work done. She is terrible at picking friends and boyfriends and I think this is due to a plethora of emotional issues that she hasn’t ever dealt with. When Addison starts making her life a whole lot better, I think she started to see him as the lifeline that she had been waiting for and it’s easy to see why. Her relationship with Isaac is a really lovely, realistic one and it’s very obvious that there is so much love between the siblings.

There are little interludes throughout the book where we hear from other drugs. I loved getting to know them all as ethereal, unreliable characters and I definitely learned a lot about how they behave. I can only imagine the fun that the Shustermans must have had while writing these. They’re so well researched and the amount of imagination that they must have taken is mind-blowing.

I think Phineas (morphine) was the drug that haunted me the most. Hearing him talk about his different uses and how he feels about them gave me such an overwhelming feeling of dread. Of course, Phineas is often administered when people are on the brink of death or in extreme pain. He never sees the bright side of human life and as a result, I couldn’t picture him as anything other than an empty, dark void, floating around these people’s systems.

Roxy is a very thought-provoking, unforgettable book. I was completely torn apart by the ending and I finished it knowing that I would probably never read another book like it. With themes such as addiction, mental health and suicide, it’s definitely best to proceed with trepidation if you are likely to be triggered by any of these topics. It is haunting, cautionary and truly fascinating with voices that literally burrow into your system and refuse to leave.

#roxy #neal shusterman #jarrod shusterman #ya #contemporary fiction #book review #review #books #bookworm

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whisperingrockers · 4 years ago

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would u. i dunno. perhaps articulate some thots on toh infinity train au 😳 if u can

HM. i will do my best. but...i dont really know how to organize my thoughts. i guess i should probably just start with the characters and go from there, huh. also in this particular au these characters don’t actually take the place of tulip, lake, jesse, grace, etc- i think they’re all just there under different circumstances.

Luz

okay so we’ll start with Luz because. she’s the main character, y’know. very important. i think the catalyst that brings her to the train is her mother signing her up for Reality Check summer camp because as a creative it’s just! disheartening to have someone you love tell you that you’re not going to make it in this world if you don’t conform to what everyone else wants. so of course when a huge mysterious locomotive suddenly pulls up to the bus stop you KNOW luz gets on, no hesitation. after all, isn’t that something right out of a sci-fi adventure novel?

unlike tulip, luz is THRILLED to find herself on some unknowable train where each car is a new adventure just waiting to happen, where there are always new friends to make, new places to see, and tons of puzzles to solve? she’s made to feel like the protagonist right out one of her fave animes.

also, really important to note that her number is probably tied to how she relates to the other passengers on the train. i feel like there’s an overarching theme in the show about how luz is going through a lot of firsts when it comes to interpersonal relationships, especially friendships, so i wanted to keep that going in this au- i imagine her number goes up when she finds her friends tapes and convinces them to watch with her because this is obviously the easiest and most straightforward way to get to know them! (luz poppin that bad boy into a vcr player: this mama is ready for trauma!)

realized how wordy this is going to be LOL

Eda

hough so this is a human au also (i assume? infinity train world really do be existing in some limbo state of reality where your reflection can just up and ditch you). i see her as a jack of all trades, master of none type, with a lean towards perfumes and handmade soaps that she sells at fairs or farmers markets and also pickpocketing. i think she sees something that reminds her of the life she used to have/would have had before lilith [redacted because i do not know what she DID yet but on GOD we will have canon continuity] and that drives her to get on the next train headed anywhere.

her number is tied to how much she allows herself to open up; the more she uses her salesman cover to keep others at arms length, the higher her number goes, which is why it’s so important for her to team up with King and Luz; they help her open up and be more honest with herself.

King

king is actually a denizen of the train in this au; i love him too much to turn him into a real ass dog, so i wont. eda meets him in a car full of plush toys, which he refers to lovingly as his army of the damned. i almost want to hold off on writing up any more for him because i know there’s more to king’s character than meets the eye. still torn between eda trying to bring him off the train with her or having him realize that the whole TRAIN is HIS KINGDOM, and all its passengers loyal peons who need their mighty rulers HELP, for without him they would PERISH.

for now though eda sees him and is immediately like get over here (reaching emoji)

Willow

willow is a tough one for me because in all honesty having your longtime friend tell you out of the blue that they can’t be friends with you anymore would be enough to send me packing to the train, but with willow i think it’s less about amity and more about how the fallout between them affects her social and academic success. the frustration reaches a tipping point that has her running out of the classroom and finding the train.

and yes, willow is a very sensible, bright girl, but she was also SO ready to trick the principle and steal from the emperor for her friend so i don’t think getting on a mystery train is wholly out of the question for her, y’know?

There’s a lot about repression in the way willow deals with things generally, so her number is tied to passivity. the more she allows others to infringe on her personal boundaries to keep them placated, the higher her number goes. when she stands up for herself to others (sometimes even her friends!) the number goes up. willow x agency and clear limitations is my otp

Gus

gus was actually a SUPER easy one for me we know so much about him from the episodes he’s been in; he’s an overachiever, he’s passionate about what he loves, he’s a natural showman, and he is constantly pushing himself to be the best that he can be, all the time. the hustle doesn’t STOP for gus, and i...i...(tears up)

anyways, i think the thing that draws him to the train is getting suddenly ousted from the club he formed at school. he’s young, and having everyone you had assumed were your friends turn their back on you and throw you out of the space that you CREATED FOR THEM would be shocking to anyone, but it broke gus’ heart clean in two. after he’d picked his bag and himself up off the hallway floor, he’d left the building in a daze, not even realizing as he boarded the train door that had suddenly opened up in front of him until it was too late.

i’m actually going to go so far as to say that gus would likely be the one MOST interested in the truth of the train- he’d be asking the tough questions, like what is the purpose of the train? who made it and its technology? where does it exist that it can be both at his school and also speeding across a barren desert landscape at the same time? How does it create sentient lifeforms? the train helps him discover a new passion; journalism. he finds a journal that speaks to him as a friend and advisor in one of the trains, and he takes careful note of everything that happens to and around him. by the time he meets up with willow, he’s got so many ideas and theories that the other girl would have never thought to consider until that very moment.

idk what his number relates to because he’s perfect the way he is but if i had to take a shot in the dark it probably has something to do with finding somewhere he feels he can belong, as well as being able to mourn and let go of the people he’d considered his friends before he’d gotten on the train.

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of . gus feelings.

Amity ( + Edric + Emira )

lumping these whites together

okay so nobody wants to hear me talk about blight angst there are 800 posts about blight angst, so long story short the three siblings run away, get into an argument with each other, amity ditches them for the train while they’re asleep, and the twins panic and chase after her, determined to find her because in the end they’re all they’ve got.

‘next stop: amity blight’

i think it’d be a cool journey to see the three of them going from ‘we need to be together out of necessity’ to ‘we need to be together because we love each other, and that genuine support structure will pull us through when everything else fails.’ but in order for that to happen they all have to have their own journey, so at some point edric and emira finally get into a spat and that’s enough to get edric and emira stuck on opposite ends of a retracting bridge. send that mans to the BACK of the train.

emira: my greatest fear is being stuck with edric forever emira: (gets separated from edric) emira: haha wait please say psyche

amity’s number is definitely tied to her fear of failure, of not being enough for the people she holds closest to her- in this case her siblings, and then lilith, and then luz when they finally meet. when she acts without concern for what the people around her think and when she sticks up for what she knows is right, even when the majority is against her, her number goes down.

for ed and em im...i don’t want to think about their feelings because they’re supposed to be clowns but i am forced to consider that they may be jealous of their sisters independence. also separating them means they both have to take responsibility for all their own actions and choices, which is probably pretty new for the twins.

Lilith

im out of energy actually znzzzsnsz uh. estranged sister who sees something that reminds her of the relationship she used to have and she’s not actually as over it as she thought so the train....she..hghrg

#toh #the owl house

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ncisladaily · 4 years ago

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With her NCIS: Los Angeles run having come to an end, Renée Felice Smith is ready for her next chapter — somewhat literally, being an author as well as an actress.

In the CBS drama’s Season 12 finale, Smith’s Nell Jones made the decision to not officially sign on as the “new Hetty”/Operations Manager, but instead join partner Eric Beale on an adventure to Tokyo, to head up his tech venture. But before driving off into the sunset, Nell briefly reunited with long-MIA Hetty herself, in costar Linda Hunt’s first on-set appearance of the season.

With NCIS: LA bidding adieu to both her and scene partner Barrett Foa, Smith — who joined the show early in Season 2 — spoke with TVLine exclusively about that emotional if bittersweet Nell/Hetty reunion, being an inspiration to smart girls, and what’s next for her as a legit storyteller herself.

TVLINE | How did you learn that this would be your swan song, and what was your initial reaction? Well, I think it’s complicated. I mean, I think that I’ve been ready for my next chapter for a while now, in whatever form it will take. But it’s surely to be centered around storytelling. I hesitate to be part of the “cliché actress” calling herself a storyteller, but I really am one. I’m a writer. I’m a director. We are developing television currently. We have another indie in the works. I want to tell compelling stories, poignant stories that offer an escape and chance of reflection for the viewer, so that’s where my focus is.

TVLINE | But as far as Nell leaving, I for one was quite surprised, because I felt like this season was such a journey for the character. They’d really been shaping her to assume this position of authority. It’s so true. I absolutely loved Nell’s journey this season. She really got to stand in her power. She really found her voice, and as a young woman it was empowering to play that side of the scene. Nell, I think, is a natural leader, and I really do think her strength as a leader is her vulnerability. I think that Nell has empathy for all players involved in the story. She can see multiple sides of the story. She’s a person that’s not only intelligent but she has emotional intelligence, and that has been such a gift for me as an actor to play. I’ve just loved her evolution, really. She started as a sidekick and she really, quite effectively, was the boss this year, and I had a fantastic time playing it.

Kilbride (played by Gerald McRaney) recently spoke to her unique strengths, saying to “stop asking yourself what would Hetty do” and just be Nell. And that really is such a necessary message. There’s a scene that I absolutely love with Miguel Ferrer, my dear Miguel, from a while back, and it was a similar sort of scene where he was trying to instill confidence in her as a leader. I actually have the quote: Miguel’s character, Granger, says to Nell, “Never belittle yourself or your accomplishments. You deserve the respect you’ve gotten. You’ve earned it.” I remember feeling so choked up in that scene, and I’ll get choked up now thinking about it.

Kilbride, similarly to Granger, has a real kind of affection for Nell and saw that potential in Nell. He wanted to foster her confidence in herself, and it was very moving to play those scenes. I feel like as a young woman we are often in a position where we may doubt ourselves just because of the social climate, but in the end I think it’s about trusting yourself. Nell really grew into a person who started trusting herself and making decisions for her, rather than trying to please. I’m a natural-born people pleasure, and I think Nell is, too. High-functioning overachievers always are. So, I think Nell’s decision at the close of the season really is her ultimately finding her voice and really having agency over her future and what it is she wants to do.

I know how difficult that is. It is reflective of my own journey and my own life. So, to be able to step forward and say, “You know what, this is the path I want to take now and I’ll potentially disappoint people while doing it, I commend Nell for her bravery in that.

What did it mean to you have Linda Hunt back for one final scene with you? Oh, my God…. My heart. Linda is just a magical creature. To have her back was really quite emotional. She was essentially sidelined by the pandemic, as you could imagine, so to even see her in the flesh, let alone share a scene with her

TVLINE | And a hug. And a hug, come onnnn! Chef’s kiss, you know? And the scene is really a bittersweet reunion. Nell really wants nothing more than to stay and catch up with her mentor, but she can’t. So, it’s kind of this “goodbye for now” scene.

TVLINE | [Showrunner] Scott [Gemmill] told me that Linda was thrilled to be back on set. She was like a kid in a candy shop. She was glowing. She was crackling. She was so alive in the scene. Whenever I’m in a scene with Linda, I’m a student. She really is such a master of the craft, and I’m a little sponge. I’m soaking it all up, and really, truly watching her work has been the most educational process for me. I just feel like truly I’ve been attending the MasterClass with one of the best, one of the greats, and I’m so grateful for my friendship with her as well. She’s my bud. She texts me lots of emojis.

TVLINE | You once told me about how you would go to lunch and you’d get all these Hollywood stories, including about her “Mary Tyler Moore moment” when she first went to live in New York…. My God, she dropped that story on me right before a walk-and-talk where I had tons of technical jargon, and I remember I was welling up just at the image of 16 or 18-year-old Linda Hunt getting into a cab and drinking in the big city and the possibilities that it held for her. She’s such a gift.

How nervous were you to shave Barrett’s mustache? I knew we only had one take and I knew it had to be good. My mom is a hairdresser and I watched her kind of do all of that kind of beard shaping for years, so I just kind of channeled my mom. I knew I needed a steady hand, and I just went for it. But I think he was a little nervous.

TVLINE | Would you like to be a part of Episode 300 (airing late next season), if asked? Of. Course.

TVLINE | What’s next for you? Like I said, storytelling. We just released our first children’s book, Hugo and the Impossible Thing, which is inspired by our canine son Hugo. Chris [Gabriel] — my partner, my other half, my creative partner — and I wrote the book about our dog who recovered from a really life-threatening illness. It was an inoperable brain tumor that most everyone told us would be impossible to beat. But through the help of some truly brilliant doctors and Hugo’s own determination, he made it to the other side and he lived a full life. It was this miracle that we witnessed, and we knew we needed to pass on Hugo’s message and let it inspire others.

I think oftentimes challenges in life are labeled as “impossible” when in reality they’re just extremely difficult. Of course, yes, certain things are impossible — I’m not going to be 6-foot-2 any time soon — but most of the time an obstacle or a challenge is just something we have to work our way around. So, we created the metaphor of the impossible thing. It’s out in the world now.

TVLINE | Lastly, any message for the fans? Oh, for sure. Ultimately, I could say something profound but I just want to say thank you. Thank you for respecting Nell. Thank you for embracing Nell, for embracing her intelligence. I’ve always been cast as kind of the “funny friend,” the quirky turkey. I was the nurse in Romeo & Juliet when I auditioned for Juliet in high school. But with Nell, I really got to play so much more, and I am just so grateful to have been able to play the “smart girl,” quite frankly.

Someone actually shared a really touching story with me not long ago, actually. I was standing in line at a coffee shop in New York, and I heard this kind of grumble behind me. Someone asked, “Are you Nell Jones from NCIS: LA?,” and I kind of winced, afraid to turn around. I know native New Yorkers, I was thinking, “What did I do wrong? Did I accidentally cut the line or not cover my mouth when I sneezed?” So, I turned around to face this person and they proceeded to tell me about their 12-year-old daughter who wasn’t like the other girls in her class. She was interested in science and forensics and computers. This woman told me that a lot of times as a mother, she didn’t know what to do with her daughter, and that Nell and the character that I played for the last 10 years had helped her daughter to find some confidence in who she was and what she wanted to be.

So, if my time at NCIS: LA helped a young girl to see the possibility in pursuing a career in intelligence or technology… visibility is everything. If the image of Nell Jones as the brightest bulb in the room can instill confidence in a 12-year-old girl and affect her future, I mean, that’s the ultimate win. That’s it. That’s truly more than I ever could have asked for.

#s12 #interview #Renee Felice Smith #ncis la #ncisla #NCIS Los Angeles

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colorseeingchick · 4 years ago

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Hey Can I ask for a self ship date pls ? I’m a 18yo girl who is 173 cm of chaos and my heart has been stolen by Kise Ryouta from KNB 😩.

We may be very different, he’s more of a warm and a social person while i’m cold in the clouds and ambiverted but his smile, his laugh and how he’s dedicated in basketball made me lose it. I find his whole personality interesting even the more cold and ugly parts of him and he has the pretty face for him too but i’m not the kind of person who can just fall for apparence. He have such a voice too 😳 He has that charming aura, playful but yet still lighthearted and funny. He being two-faced surprisingly don’t bother me that much somehow i understand from where hes coming from. I relate a lot to his overachiever and need to handle all things himself to the point of hurting. As a basketb fan i am also enamored w his way of playing, i gen think he is the best of gom he always do his best to the point of barely breathing and honestly i relate to this too when im into something i love. His quick learning abilities are hyper and i like how Kise try to be honest w himself. I like also the balance he have w masculine and feminine energy and don’t mind him being a dork. His relationship w others characters are gold too like w Aomine and i can see him showing me affection to my touch starved self and just general affection i lack in general even if i don’t say it. Also i can imagine a certain dynamic between us where no one is the lead of the couple but we’re on equal terms.

Now more about me i am an ENTP 8w7, I am independent, creative, honest, prideful and « generous » i don’t think that last one much but my close one describe me like this. I’m very curious, likes experimenting and new things. I am funny/sarcastic, playful and as it iam very memeable but surprisingly top student here who doesn’t behave like it at all both in class and just in general. My aesthetic is a weird mix of everything i love so i am both a tomboy, alt and a baddie somehow. I am into law and economics studies and can talk french, korean and spanish as i learn languages in my free time by myself. I do read, write, draw and listen to music, play all sort of games including sports, get on a walk from time to time, eat cuz food is delicious and just learn in general. I have kind of ✨trust issues ✨so i don’t have many friends. But you sure will have fun w me ! I don’t about chill i have some temper but sure im pretty cool and open minded ! In love i really am a mess, i’m easily flustered but act cool to hide it and because of that i look like someone confident and mysterious except i am not the first one and ugh im lowkey a tsundere so it’s difficult to assume my feelings. But i swear i try !

Thank you for reading me ! I hope i didn’t bother you much.

You didn't bother me at all hun! This was a lot of fun to write so I hope you enjoy :) I think I have a pretty fun date planned for you two if I do say so myself hehe.

Premise: Kise got to know you throughout high school, and saw you as different from his other fangirls. Even though it wasn’t basketball, you also stood out at the top of your class, making you noticeable to Kise. You were actually a good friend (a cute friend at that) and he decided that he wanted to take you on a date during your 3rd year (once the basketball season was over and he had time to make for you). Knowing how fun you are, he had the perfect plan.

As you look into the mirror to examine your outfit, your phone buzzes with the “I’m hereeee ;)” text. You’d decided to lean into your tomboy vibes, given that Kise told you to ‘get ready to do stuff,’ which was not very informative, but exciting nonetheless.

As you walk out, you’re greeted by the blonde man dressed handsome as ever, a dark long sleeve shirt with fitting jeans, his silver hoop shining as the sun starts to set.

“Ready Y/N-chi?” He asks you, smiling as he overdramatically offers his hand for you to grab.

“Ready as ever~” you say as you grab his hand. He pulls you close and winks, flustering you right from the start.

“If I remember correctly, you said something about this being the best date I ever go on?” You take your chance to poke fun at him as well.

“Oh honey, it will be.” You can see the way his eyes shine and his mischievous grin as he walks with a nice hop in his step, guiding you towards the train station.

The train ride was pleasant, his hands protectively on your shoulder and a mean glare on his pretty features when other men looked at you or got too close, but his face was calm as he comfortably bantered with you (you on the other hand were quite unbothered by it all). Once you finally arrived at your destination, you found yourself in the lively district of the city, flooded with restaurants and shops all open late night.

“I forgot how beautiful this area is at night!” You can’t help but say as you look at all the beautiful lights and architecture.

“I had to take a pretty girl to a pretty place, you know?” He squeezes your hand as he drags you along once again, until you end up at your destination.

“I think this’ll be a lot of fun,” he says to you as he pushes open the doors to the arcade, letting all the dark lights and glowing games illuminate your sight.

He buys the coins for you both to play (He’d asked prior if it’d be okay for him to pay for you this date, and you’d agreed), and you set off to play all sorts of games.

It was a lot of fun for the both of you. While the games were enjoyable, playing them with him made it all the better. He also never missed an opportunity to flirt with you, and playing games made it easy. Both of you being overachievers, with Kise being a quick learner and you being open to trying new things made the experience amazing.

“Here, stand like this and loosen your wrists up for a better shot.” you both were playing the basketball game, and to no surprise Kise had absolutely killed it. Now here he is, helping adjust your shot. Standing behind you, he lightly adjusts your waist, turning you a little bit to help your footing. His hands then move up to your shoulders, then down to your wrists, helping guide your form and placement on the ball. While you were learning from him, it was hard to focus with him this close to you. “Y/N-chi, you can focus on me later. You should focus on your shot for now.” He says lowly, teasingly, watching carefully as your face erupts into red. He really did love teasing you, the usually calm, collected, confident top student.

Admittedly, you feel like you got back at him when you watch him try the crane game (the ones filled with stuffed animals) and he couldn’t get it after 7 tries. The frustration was clear in his face, his impatience rising.

“This game is rigged, I know it!”

You ask to try and of course he complies. However, he’s not ready for you to get a cute little stuffed panda on your first try. Suddenly, he’s a lot more embarrassed than you were earlier.

“You definitely used magic or something.” His pout is both adorable and hilarious to you.

You laugh as you hand him the panda. “Here!”

Looking down at the panda and then looking back up at you, he asks, “for me? But you won it!”

“But I want you to have it. It’s cute like you, Kise-kun.”

A huge smile crosses his face as he pulls you into a hug, spinning you around. “Y/n-chi!!!! You’re so generous!! Giving me your stuffed panda~ I’ll take good care of it.”

You have a nice laugh as you watch Kise end the night out by playing Dance Dance Revolution, not afraid to be a bit flamboyant as he goes all out with the footwork and does really well at the game.

After collecting all your tickets, Kise takes you up to the rewards table, telling you that he knows exactly what he wants to get.

“And we have enough tickets for it! Great.”

You can’t help but smile when Kise points to the GIANT stuffed panda hanging on the wall.

“I thought you weren’t the type to return favors,” you recall what he said during a game with Seirin from a long while back.

He blushes, thinking about what he said. “I’m not, just one upping you,” he jokes, sticking his tongue out at you, letting you nudge him in return.

“Do you wanna get food, Y/N-chi?” He asks, his arm wrapped around your shoulder.

“Sure, from where?”

“You decide. I decided on the arcade, you can decide dinner.” He looks at you with a smile, thinking back on how fun the whole night had been. “But I get to decide dinner next time.”

“Next time?” You shoot back, eyebrows raised, a smile forming on your face. “Who said I’d go out with you a next time?”

At your comment, his smile falters as he stares at you for a good second. He gets all serious suddenly, pulling you close (with a giant panda pressed into your side) and making you look into his eyes. “Y/N-chi, would you please go out with me again? Tell me you will!”

Giggling, you smile up at him. “Of course, Kise-kun.”

He sighs out and hums in approval, before pressing a small kiss onto your cheek. “Call me Ryouta.”

Ahhh I hope you enjoyed it! I tried to incorporate as many elements as I could! Please do let me know what you think <3 this was so fun!!!!

#knb #knb matchup #kuroko no basquet #kuroko no basket #kise ryouta #kise fluff #CSC hits 200 #colorseeingchick milestone

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coeurdastronaute · 5 years ago

Text

Essays in Existentialism: Troublemaker (Before)

Previously on Troublemaker

“See! You’re having a good time!”

The music pulsated through the streets, and Lexa didn’t care that her sister was gloating because she really was having a good time despite all intentions otherwise. The sun was bright and glaring without a cloud in the sky, and downtown was brimming with all colors, alive and vibrant, celebrating. And she as swept up in it, proud and overflowing with the music and freedom of being completely herself and being completely unknown in the crowd.

It’d been a hard fought battle for her to agree to come with her sister to Pride, but she didn’t have anything else to do, and because of Anya’s need to be an overachiever, something they both ascribed to genetics, she was going to be doing an internship and leaving soon enough, thus cutting their summer together incredibly short. The guilt and her sister’s incessant need to prove a point brought them downtown for the day, and Lexa was almost okay with it.

“I knew you would like it,” Anya gloated, dancing around with her sister in the pulsating group of bodies at the concert in the park.

“Is it always like this?”

A gaggle of scantily-clad men moved through in nothing but speedos and suspenders, and Lexa let one of them grab her and twirl her around. The entire day, she’d been absolutely adored and adoring of everyone around her. An inundation of love and support was enough to make her unsure of how to go back to real life.

Her sister watched as Lexa danced, hands up, smiling wide and overjoyed. She enjoyed the fact that her sister came out to her and she could actually do something about it. Though straight, Anya spent her first two years of college taking a crash course in gay when her random roommate was a very out and very proud girl who liked to use Anya as a wngman. She was incredibly helpful in coming up with things to help Lexa feel normal and supported, and Anya was going ot be the best big sister possible. She was that type A.

“Pride is always like this,” Anya promised. “And you get to be super gay anytime you want. Isn’t that great?”

“You’re worse than mom and dad. They’re like oddly proud to have a gay kid.”

“Nah, just because you’re you.”

“Shut up,” Lexa rolled her eyes and moved, wiggling around, goofy and carefree.

For the entire day, the sisters moved through the crowds, checking out vendors, eating delicious food, listening to speakers, and got decked out in glowing necklaces and rainbows painted on their faces. It was exhausting to be so gay, but Lexa finally understood what she’d been missing in her fear of joining the GSA, and her fear of being out at school. She hadn’t thought about how wonderful it would be to not have to worry about hiding, or at least, not actively living.

“Thank you,” Lexa offered, as the pair stood on the side of the road for the parade. She hugged her sister as the sun began to set between the tall buildings. “This has been the best day of my life.”

“You’re a sap.”

“I am not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not,” she smiled and danced around, her sister not used to such a carefree girl in front of her. “I’m just super gay-- Oops, I’m so sorr--”

Lexa stopped moving after bumping into someone behind her, not paying attention and living her life too widely and too queerly for such a confined area. She gaped and stared at the body she bumped into, more mortified than she’d been in her entire life.

The body came attached to a pretty face. A familiar face. A face with bright blue eyes, and a mischievous grin and a messy bunch of wavy blonde hair. A face that had a tongue ring. A face that was attached to the girl who protested the Sadie Hawkins dance, the pep rally, and last year single handedly turned the swimming pool pink for women’s history month.This was the same face that Lexa couldn’t help but stare at anytime she walked by in the halls at school. This was the face that didn’t even know she existed.

Clarke Griffin stared back in equal parts amazement at the girl who did the bumping. In all of her wildest dreams, she never imagined Lexa Woods, class president, Academic Decathlon team captain, Student of the Quarter, perfect attendance-winning, overall adorable nerd, would be standing next to her at Pride. And not just standing-- dancing, covered in rainbows, and smiling in something other than a primly put together button up shirt with a schedule strapped to her chest.

“Clarke,” Lexa gulped, unable to say anything else, unable to hide her fear and confusion. “I-I-I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you. I was just… um… ”

“It’s okay. Kind of close quarters and you were just being super queer,” she returned gracefully as she eyed the entire being of Lexa on summer break. “I didn’t think I’d run into anyone here. I thought everyone left for summer.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m always recruiting people for my zine. Intersectional politics and good music with a queer tint. Honestly, it’s whatever anyone submits. We set up a tiny booth,” Clarke explained, rambling slightly. “And I’m kind of gay.”

“Kind of?”

This was incredibly new and important news to Lexa, even if she didn’t know what to do with it.The entire school knew that Clarke ran with the same crowd, a crowd Lexa didn’t know anything about other than idle gossip. And it always looked like she was very close to Bellamy Blake. Romantically close.

“Bi.”

“You have to go?”

“No-- no… I’m bisexual.”

Lexa felt her face burn and she wanted to melt into a puddle, right there in the early June evening. Maybe disappear into the sewer and wash away into the sea for the rest of time. But she didn’t. Instead, she just stood there, in front of the biggest badass tough guy hot girl she’s ever seen in her entire life.

It was the longest they’d ever spoken, and she’d ruined it in under three minutes after learning that Clarke was gay-ish.

“That’s cool,” she finally managed, earning a small smile.

Clarke pushed some hair away from her face and scratched her neck, using the pause to look at Lexa’s legs. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t try too much.

“Is this your first Pride?”

“Is it that obvious?” Lexa sighed, bashful at her display.

“No, you look cute. I like the festiveness.”

That didn’t help anything at all. Lexa looked around for her sister who made herself busy talking to other people and not at all available to bail her out of saying anymore words.

“I’m gay,” Lexa finally blurted after a prolongued moment of silence.

“That’s cool.”

“Thanks.”

A shout reached them over the noise of the parade, and both looked in that direction.

“I have to um,” Clarke looked over her shoulder at the group that was calling her name. “I have to go catch up with my friends.”

“Right, yeah, definitely.”

“It was good to see you, Woods,” she grinned as she backed away. “I hope I get to bump into you again.”

“Right, yeah! Me, uh. Me too,” Lexa nodded.

With another wave, Clarke was gone, swept up by her friends as they moved through the crowd. Lexa caught the look that Clarke gave her over her shoulder and she smiled because she got a look back. It might not have meant anything, but it still felt kind of good.

“Your first Pride, and you’re getting chatted up by a grade A hottie. I’m impressed,” her sister slung her arm over her shoulder.

“That was just a girl from school.”

“She was not what I pictured for your type.”

“I don’t-- I don’t have a type,” Lexa furrowed.

“Everyone does. It just so happens that yours seems to be punk baddies with probable daddy issues.”

“There’s no way you could know--”

“She was digging you too, by the way.”

“There’s no-- I don’t-- She wouldn’t-- That was-- No,” Lexa shook her head.

“Trust me. I’ve seen gay relief, and that girl was gay relieved you were gay.”

“That’s not a thing.”

“Don’t be mad because i have my ear to the ground in the gay community,” Anya shook her head. “I’ll have you know that Kaitlyn said I’d make a great lesbian.”

“Please let me die right here.”

XXXXXXXXXX

The library on Fourth Street was nearly always empty around the end of lunch time. It seemed to empty out come the hottest part of the day with the normal crowd of parents and kids looking to stay busy during the long summer hours came in for story time and craft projects.

With no particular impetus to move quickly, Lexa pushed her cart of returns through the aisles and rearranged any messy or disorganized stacks she found. But her head wasn’t particularly in it.

Instead, Lexa thought about Pride, and replayed the entire interaction with a certain mild degenerate who had a pretty smile, who called her cute, she realized, halfway through overanalyzing it again for the hundredth time. All she could wonder was if this is what having a crush felt? And if so, was it possible to have crush after just three minutes? Nothing really prepared her for this. How could it? He didn’t have time for a crush. She only had to focus and get into the school she wanted. And then she could be who she thought she might want to be.

“Hey Woods.”

Lexa stopped as she turned to the next aisle, only to find the exact subject of her internal debate. There was a book tucked into her elbow as she retracted an arm reached out to grab something on a top shelf. Lexa looked to her bare arms, and then to her hips where a flannel was tied, and only subtly hiding her short shorts and some of the long legs and Lexa was gay.

“I know it’s a library, but I’m sure you can talk a little bit,” Clarke smiled.

Sunglasses tucked and holding her hair up out of her face, the girl had a motorcycle helmet tucked into the same elbow as the book.

“Hey,” Lexa managed.

“You work here?”

“Yeah, just doing some little things, stacking, kids story time and stuff.”

“Sounds fun,” Clarke nodded. She leaned against the shelf behind her and watched Lexa push her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. This was the Lexa she was used to seeing, and it did nothing to make her less interested, which was insanely weird.

“Here for anything good?”

“Uh, just some of the summer reading for Lit. And I’m kind of interested in a few SAT practice books. I took it already, but there’s one more that I can take before applications are due, and I’d like to see if I can do a little better.”

It certainly wasn’t the reason Lexa expected, but she should have known better to expect anything from someone she really didn’t know other than through stories of stories of stories from other people.

“Sounds like you have a busy summer planned.”

Clarke laughed and ducked her head and Lexa tried not to be entranced by the action.

“Have to keep busy between the protests and debauchery.”

“Right, same.”

“Everyone kind of left for the summer, it seems. It’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Lexa agreed. “I miss my friends, but I’ve gotten a lot of things done.”

“I’m sure you’re already done with the summer homework.”

“No… well, just most of it.”

“We’re two weeks into summer break, Woods,” Clarke pretended to admonish. Lexa shrugged, slightly guilty. “We’re going to have to find something to keep you busy.”

“I think work will take care of that.”

“You’re forgetting that I saw you at Pride. I know that you know how to have fun,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows slightly. “And I know that you find me absolutely irresistible and cute.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“So you admit it then?”

“What? No,” Lexa shook her head and pushed her cart down the row, looking for the place to put the next in her pile.

But Clarke wasn’t ready to leave, and she hung around, pushing off of the shelf only to follow Lexa and hover closer than Lexa could almost handle.

“You checked me out at Pride.”

“I did not.”

“You did. I saw it. And you let me know you were interested in girls. If you didn’t know yet, I’m a girl, so the math seems to be adding up.”

“Correlation does not imply causation,” Lexa responded quickly. “Your logic is not at all close to sound.”

“So you don’t like me?”

“I don’t even know you. If anything, I just find your face and,” Lexa moved her hand in Clarke’s direction, “that, all, pleasing.”

“Good to know.”

“Who even walks around telling people that they find them attractive. It’s maddening to have that much confidence.”

Lexa jammed the book into the shelf as Clarke leaned beside her, grinning that grin that meant she was amused. That was also maddening. All of it suddenly was maddening, and Lexa missed the quiet of her shelves and wished she could go back in time and not let herself go to Pride. Then she wouldn’t have to see Clarke Griffin.

“I like to have a healthy opinion of myself.” Lexa snorted. “And you should have one of yourself. Want to know a secret?”

It was the smile that did it. And the eyes. But Lexa looked at Clarke and softened somewhat. It was due to the proximity, she told herself. Nothing else that she could control.

“Sure.”

“I didn’t really need these books,” Clarke offered. “I mean, I could have just ordered them online like a normal person. And I live closer to the Redwood Branch.”

“Then why’d you come here?”

“Hard to imagine you’re the valedictorian,” she chuckled. “I came to see you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. I saw you at Pride and was intrigued. Thought I might feel it out a little bit.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Why not, Woods?” Clarke sighed. “I’ve got nothing but time and… well, I didn’t know you were into girls.”

“How can you be so just… How can you just say what you’re thinking?”

“Lots of practice,” she smiled.

“I could never imagine just… just… just…” Lexa waved her hands around slightly as she tried to explain what she couldn’t. “I couldn’t just do that. What if it went badly?”

“Is it going badly?”

“No, but-- wait. Maybe. What I mean is…” It didn’t help that Clarke was leaning closer and Lexa was stuck in the stacks with a girl that was flirting with her and she’d never had that before and it was way better than she could have ever imagined. “Wouldn’t ou have been embarrassed if I just ignored you or something?”

“Oh yeah, big time,” Clarke nodded. “But my dad used to tell me to do one thing every day that scared me. Figured I’d get it done before dinnertime today.”

She was charming and honest and refreshing and unlike anyone Lexa had ever met. It was a whirlwind.

“I have to finish this before my shift ends,” she tore her eyes away from Clarke’s and looked back at her cart.

“Right, yeah, definitely,” Clarke agreed.

“I should do that.”

“I should go check these out.”

“Maybe I’ll see you around this summer.”

“Yeah,” Clarke grinned. “Maybe.”

Lexa stood there as Clarke turned back toward reception.

“Clarke-- I um,” Lexa watched as she turned around. “I’ve never flirted… with anyone, really.”

“That is surprising news.”

She could tell from her tone that it wasn’t news, and Lexa pursed her lips and set her jaw. She stood a little straighter, steeling herself.

“I hope I see you around.”

“We do seem to keep running into each other.”

With a final smile, Clarke winked and disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

Standing outside of the house on the corner, Clarke looked at the perfectly trimmed hedges and the flag that hung by the door. The lawn was manicured and neat, the house was beautiful, lit up and glowing with life inside in the waning light. It was in the suburbs and insanely suburban. A tire swing hung from a giant oak. A basketball hoop hung over the garage.

For the life of her, Clarke wasn’t sure how she ended up here, except that she made herself stand awkwardly in front of Lexa Wood’s house. Three years ago, she met Lexa as a freshman, and instantly had a crush on the girl who argued with her in history class. But Clarke also decided to avoid having a crush on the cute girl who pushed up her glasses and tried very hard to be absolutely perfect.

She still kind of always had a crush, despite her refusal to admit it. For the past three years, Clarke tried to make Lexa smile from time to time. She’d do something stuipd and make sure Lexa was watching.

But Pride was one of the few times in the past year they’d spoken. And Clarke was certain that now was her chance, so she took it. And after the library, she spent every day for a week and a half showing up at the library. She brought Lexa lunch a few times, followed her around the stacks, chatting and fully developing a crush. It was easy to do. Lexa was funny, and serious, and witty, and quiet, and smart, like ridiculously smart, and she wasn’t afraid of Clarke, or intimidated. She debated her with vigor, had opinions, had plans, and more importantly, had dreams.

Clarke knew why she was standing on Lexa’s front porch, and she knew why she was slightly nervous to knock, she just hated someone being able to do that, in equal parts as much as she craved it.

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that this was good before she knocked.

“Hey,” Lexa greeted her, smiling and pushing up her glasses as she does her best to not look winded from running to the door.

“Hey,” Clarke sighs, matching her grin, forgetting all of the thoughts of before. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks. I, uh, you too. I like the black eye in particular.”

“Oh, this?” she motioned toward the eye that had a little bruising. “Just, um. Bopped myself in the face while working out.”

“What were you doing? Boxing?”

“Krav Maga. My partner got a little overzealous.”

“Goodness.”

“I’ll try to be extra charming to make up for my disfigurement. I hope your gentle eyes can make it past my horrible appearance.”

“I’ll do my best to look past it.”

“Good,” Clarke smiled and handed over a helmet. “Are you ready for the first date?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

They walked toward the motorcycle sitting near the curb. Clarke pressed her palm to the flat of Lexa’s back. She handed over a helmet and Lexa looked at it curiously.

“For your protection. Have you ever ridden on anything like this before?”

“I’ve driven go karts.”

“Not the same thing,” Clarke chuckled. “Here, I’ll help.”

The helmet eclipsed her, but Lexa tilted it upwards so that Clarke’s skilled fingers could tighten the strap beneath it. She lifted the visor and watched Clarke work.

“I feel like a badass.”

“You are.”

“Do I look the part?” Lexa asked, smiling slightly as Clarke hopped on the motorcycle and put on her own helmet.

“Very much,” she promised, flipping down both of their visors. “Hold on tight.”

The date wasn’t anything fancy, but Clarke was hoping it was enough. They drove to the park, with Lexa’s arms wrapped tightly around her, and she took the long way, nice and slow, just for that reason.

The park was busy, fully of people ready to enjoy the evening and a movie. Clarke unloaded a blanket and her backpack full of snacks, fully prepared to show off her dateable skills. From what she knew about Lexa, she assumed it was her first first date, and she was going to set the bar extremely high.

Before the movie started, they talked about nothing in particular, and Clarke was careful to get in a little teasing, which Lexa returned, smiling the entire time, challenging her. During the movie, Clarke let Lexa lay her head on her lap, and shivered because she gave her the only sweatshirt she had.

Even after it ended, they remained, hanging out in the twilight and talking, hovering, close and unsure and happy. Later into the night, after another trip back to Lexa’s, Clarke bashfully stood on the porch and earned a hug and completely bungled the kiss, unable to read Lexa and unable to make herself that brave.

“Did you have a good time?” Clarke ventured, leaning against the railing.

“I really did. Thank you.”

“Maybe we could do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that.”

“Good.”

“Great,” Clarke grinned.

“Great.”

XXXXXXXXXX

It was almost like a game at this point, for Lexa to stumble upon Clarke somewhere in the library during her shift. Rarely was it in the same place twice, and rarely was it when she was expecting it, though she found herself always looking forward to the smile and girl that sometimes brought her snacks.

For the first month of summer break, Lexa didn’t even realize she’d spent most of it talking to or spending time with Clarke Griffin. It just kind of happened, and she found herself getting attached. She found herself flirting, or so she thought. She definitely found herself flirted with, which was still so wonderful.

Clarke wasn’t what she’d thought. She was insanely frustrating and still too hot for her own good, and smarter than she wanted anyone to know, while at the same time being absolutely addicted to her moral code and her’s alone.

In a month, Lexa learned that Clarke was not in a gang, despite everyone thinking it was a gang, but rather had a close knit group of friends that occasionally contributed to shenanigans of a disruptive nature. She learned that she was a hell of an artist, sketching things here and there, and when they ventured out on a hike or spent time lounging around, showed her sketchbook very timidly. She learned that Clarke’s father died three years ago, and that was where she disappeared to freshman year. She learned that Clarke liked to work on her motorcycle herself instead of taking to a shop because she wanted to feel closer to her father. Lexa spent an entire afternoon learning parts of the bike and helping with an oil change.

For an entire month, Clarke pushed Lexa. She pushed her to go on dates. She pushed her to jump off of the old bridge foundation at the river when they went swimming. She pushed her to watch a few movies she wasn’t sure of. She pushed her to egg street signs for the first time ever.

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for a book about a cute librarian who has a crush on a girl named Clarke. Know where I can find that?”

Lexa smiled despite herself as she turned the corner in one of the farther aisles in the library’s second floor.

“I was just thinking about you.”

“All good things I hope.”

“More or less.”

That seemed like good enough for Clarke who returned Lexa’s smile. The two stood there, close in the tight aisle, but used to the proximity.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come over tonight. We could watch a movie and you could read my essay and give a million edit suggestions. I’ll even let you use your red pen.”

“It shows up better.”

“Yeah yeah,” Clarke humored her.

“I’ll be over after dinner then.”

“Good.”

“Were you leaving already?” Lexa furrowed as Clarke shoulder her backpack and shifted instead of getting comfortable or even grabbing some of the books to help her put back on the shelves.

“I have to see a guy about a thing.”

“Just a drive by today, and no snack?”

“Like I would ever leave you wanting,” Clarke tsk’d as she dug in her bag and pulled out Lexa’s favorite assortment of gummy bears. “I know what you like, Woods.”

“You’re spoiling me. I’ll have to start working out more often or I’ll be too slow for track.”

“You’re fit. I mean, you’re--”

“Perv.”

“Sometimes,” Clarke shrugged.

Lexa held her bag of snacks in her hand and smiled at them softly. She saw Clarke’s shoes nearly touching her own, and when she looked up, she realized how close they truly were. But she didn’t move. She just stood there and tried to figure out what Clarke’s eyes were saying, because they were furrowed until they weren’t, and then there was a peace there, a decisive calm.

Lexa felt a hand on her shirt, grasping it near her heartbeat. Clarke paused before she did it, waiting for Lexa to pull away, asking for permission. Only when she got it, did she lean forward and kiss Lexa enough to take her breath away. The only thing Lexa could hear was the blood thumping in her ears, but she ignored it and kissed Clarke back eagerly.

“Thanks, Woods,” Clarke murmured after a few seconds. “I needed that.”

“Yeah, no, yeah.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Right, later, mhm,” Lexa nodded and ran her thumb along her bottom lip as Clarke moved, leaving her rooted and blushing.

“If you liked that, we could do it more often,” Clarke offered as she walked backward out of the shelves.

“Sounds very good to me.”

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