#I always feel embarrassed to upload him to other sites because he just looks like that

[passwordispassword]

This weeks Wheel of the Week landed on. somehting.

Kano

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: April 13th, 2021

And we’re back again with more replies so soon, haha. Thank you for the asks!

Your game literally saved me this hell ass year. Thank you so much for the most perfect piece of art I've ever laid eyes on 😫 ... Do you guys have a rough idea when step 3 DLC will be released? I hope I'm not coming off as rude. I just really really love your game.

I’m sorry for the late reply on this! You might’ve already seen the answer by now, but the Step 3 DLC is coming out on the 16th. We’re almost there :D

This may be a silly question but did Jeremy's parents ever find out that Pran had lied about his age and if so, when/how? :3

Pran came clean to them after a couple of years, when he felt secure enough that it wouldn’t ruin the relationship. The Kings were a little embarrassed, the dad more than the mom, but they’re quite good at brushing past those kind of mistakes so it was all water under the bridge pretty fast.

hi! i know you’ve answered a question about alterations in the our life moments by playing them in different orders, but i was wondering if there was a canon order that the moments for each step happen in? i figure with such a customizable game the “canon” timeline for the moments is whatever order the player completes them in, for example in step 1, i like playing the runaway moment pretty early, since cove trying to run away early in summer makes more sense to me personally. thanks!

Yeah, there’s no canon order we’d insist on. Whatever you like can be the official route for you! And that’s a neat way to look at that event.

What if your character isn’t that into physical contact but still wants to be in a relationship with Cove? Would he be offended if you shy away or something along those lines?

He wouldn’t be. Cove knows how hard that can be and is very understanding. If you set his initiative to low, the game always checks to make sure if you want to be touched or not rather than assuming that you do. And if you do choose that you don’t want to, there’s no stress or drama about it. Cove will just say that’s okay!

Hellu! First off, I want to thank you all for such a wonderful game, it's been the best feel-good game I've ever stumbled upon and I can't express enough how much it has meant to me. Second, I've seen lots of people having trouble with making Cove confess before MC which makes me wonder if people will have the same problem in the dlc when you can propose to him. Is it possible to post a guide for that as well when it no longer could count as a spoiler? Again, thanks for such a beautiful game <3

I’m really happy you had such a nice time with it c:. We’ll answer questions about it on tumblr/in the discord if they come up and, if need be, we’ll find somewhere to upload a guide.

Do we get steam key from buying dlc on itch io?

I’m afraid not. That’d be unfair to those who get it on Steam. Plus, Steam isn’t super cool with giving out thousands of keys to be handed out for free on other sites anymore. They can refuse to give us the keys if they feel we’re trying to take advantage of their system.

hi! so if we reject cove's confession in step 3, can we still have MC and cove get together in step 4?

You can confess to him, yeah. But Cove won’t ever try confessing again if the MC turns him down in Step 3.

What if MC acts like someone Cove doesn't like, like Lizzie or Baxter lol

You can’t do what Lizzie or Baxter does to make Cove dislike them. You can play the game and try, but it doesn’t work out. The MC is just too compatible with Cove if you’re fond/crush/love, haha.

Hi! I absolutely love your game, I love the characters they’re all so amazing, thank you for the game haha

I was wondering if you would get the NSFW DLC no matter what Patreon level you were at, or if you would could get it at any level? :)

&

What pateron tier do we need to get the 18+ content for Our Life? It's my new favourite game, keep up the good work!

It will eventually be available at the $5 tier and anything above that! Glad you both like OL ^^

On a scale from 1 (being the worst) to 10, how well do the XOXO jerk squad including JB handle horror?

JB: 8

Everett: 5

Nate: 4

Shiloh: 10

Bae: 10

Jeremy: 8 for non-gore horror, 2 for gory horror

Pran: 9

hello!! i was wondering if any of the boys from the Jerksquad would ever wear a skirt/dress?

None of them wear skirts/dresses out of personal preference. But if there was some kind of reason where they had to do it, none would be that bothered.

How does the jerk squad feel about Christmas? 

Everett: He fucking loves it. That’s the best time of year.

Nate: Commercialized nonsense.

Shiloh: It’s wonderful! So he claims.

Bae: He likes it quite a bit, but only for the joy it brings children/family. He thinks that’s sweet but is too mature to be whipped up into a festive fervor himself.

Jeremy: It’s awful.

Pran: He hates it.

does cove have any pet allergies? yes I know this is a little weirdly specific

He doesn’t! The lucky boy isn’t allergic to any animal.

Very important question: Would Lee and a musical-theatre loving MC run around belting Into The Unknown from Frozen 2? Because I feel that they would 

Probably, haha.

This might seem like a dumb question, so I’m sorry, but with the Derek DLC are we gonna get to hang out with him in person instead of just calling him in step 3? 

The Derek DLC adds events in Step 2 and Step 4. It’s part of his story that you don’t really get to be around him in Step 3. But you don’t need to apologize for wondering!

hello! i'd like to ask if it's possible to play the android version of the game with the dlcs after buying the dlcs from steam. i wasn't expecting my android version to have my dlcs since i bought them from steam, but it had my step 2 dlc for some reason. is this a glitch or does the apk actually detect what dlcs you already have on your pc? if so, how come i don't have the step 1 dlc appearing on android? thanks!

That is some kind of glitch. It isn’t possible for the Android DLCs to be unlocked by having them on PC. Maybe in one of the old builds we accidentally didn’t lock the Step 2 DLC properly. Sorry for the confusion!

Does Derek and Baxter have canon sexualities? Will Derek still flirts with the MC regardless of their gender?

They’re both pansexual and can like the MC regardless of what gender they have.

I was wondering if Miranda had a crush on Cove in Step 3? I'm not sure why, but I got those vibes from her?

She thinks of him only as a friend. Cove isn’t her type, haha.

This is probably a dumb hope, but I hope Cliff find someone he loves after Cove is grown up and everything. Or at the very least he has someone he's very close with after Cove leaves. 

That’s a really sweet thought to have. Cliff stays single, but he’s graysexual and not-particularly romantically inclined. He only dated when he was really young ‘cause that’s what everyone did. Family and friend relationships are more important to him, and he has plenty of that in his life ^^.

Heya! I was curious if there might be a nickname system in N&F? I kind of pull an Elizabeth when I play and choose a different variation of a name like having Rosie in step one and changing it to Rose in step two, then maybe Rosetta in step three for example, but it also feels a little bit odd being scolded using my nickname hehe. That's all I was wondering about, thank you for your time and the wonderful games!

We are hoping to include the option to go by a nickname in Our Life: Now & Forever. But nothing has been programmed yet, so we can’t 100% guarantee it, haha.

Just curious, what would Liz's and Cove's relationship be if MC wasn't around? I feel like they wouldn't get along as well as they do now, especially during the first and second step 

They’d definitely have a lot of friction growing up and they’d likely avoid each other as much as possible. Once they were both older, I imagine they’d be decent neighbor acquaintances. But they still wouldn’t be nearly as close as they are with the MC bringing Cove into things.

What do the customizable eyes look like in the game? Do they look as they are in the creating avatar section? Or do they look different when actually playing the game?

That’s up to you! The doll is just meant to be a general idea. You can apply it to your imagined MC as much or as little as you prefer.

Did Cove go through a "phase" during his adolescence? I don't really wanna headcanon it so I wonder if there's anything (cringy) canon since we missed out on the ages of 14-17 hahaha

Not really, aha. 14-17 Cove is pretty recognizable to his 13 and 18 year old self.

Hello! I'm sorry to bother you, especially with all the messages you get. I was just wondering if the religious wedding venue was exclusive to a church or if there will be different religions of weddings? Also, I love this VN so much, it's so well written and every character is so amazing, thank you for making such a beautiful game.

The church is treated as a historic building rather than anything actively religious, but it’s not the only option like that. There’s a historic synagogue and stuff too! And that’s really nice of you to say <3.

How differently would it play out If MC told their moms about the 20$ deal back when it happened? 

They wouldn’t have been happy and would’ve been far more skeptical of Cliff, aha. But they wouldn’t want to keep Cove away from the MC, so it wouldn’t have been too different in the long run.  

Hello may I ask what Cove's favorite fudge/ice cream flavor would be? Its alright if its not answered 

He appreciates them all, but his top favorites would be the fruit flavored ones and the ones with nuts.

Hi! I really wanted to make mc's house in a game and tried really hard to figure out the floor plan, but I wondered if you have the floor plan of the mc's house so that i can try again with more accuracy?

Thank you a lot for this game, i loved it a lot! (my first play took me 8 hours lol)

I’m really sorry, we don’t have anything like that. But at least you can headcanon that what you did is correct and nothing can prove it wrong, haha.

Hello,I recently started playing lake of voices (I put it off for a long while since I’m usually not very good with horror) and I’m really happy I did!I’m a big fan of your games in general and lake of voices was absolutely great as well.I loved the characters and the dark setting of it,I adored the beautiful art and music and the story was great too,sometimes unsettling and sometimes very sweet.My favorite Route in the game was definitely Lu,I liked his character and was really shocked and distraught by his Route at least two times.I didn’t see the plot twist(s) coming at all!

Besides these ramblings I’ve also wanted to ask if you still remember how to get the lower two CGs on page 5?I seem to always miss them and would appreciate any help.Anyways I hope I wasn’t too much of a bother and I wish the devs a great day!:)

Thank you for all the kind words <3. You get those DLCs by going through the end of the Guide’s character path. You can use the guides on Steam to help you find it/reach the end!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you again for all of these questions :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[5uptic]

crewfu: fanfic spotlight :)

Angel of Life, Bringer of Death by woofles1990 (5up/Steve, teen rating, gen | 377 words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: Steve and Dk just wanted to explore a dungeon. That's all they wanted! A certain angel clearly had other plans.

flashover by Anonymous (Apollo & 5up, teen rating, gen | 853 words)

Summary: n. the moment a conversation becomes real and alive, which occurs when a spark of trust shorts out the delicate circuits you keep insulated under layers of irony, momentarily grounding the static emotional charge you've built up through decades of friction with the world. OR: it's pretty stupid to sleep on the tiles of a subway station, even though you are well aware you have a home. It's also quite embarrassing to have a friend pick you up from there.

Sparks Fly by Rocketro (5up/Fundy, gen rating, m/m | 863 words)

Summary: 5up and Fundy watch fireworks together.

you're holding back (shut up and dance with me) by lytriis (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 1.2k words)

Summary: 5up and steve dance.

what happens in Vegas by aphilologicalbatman (Apollo/Steve, explicit rating, m/m | 1.4k words)

Summary: "I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea, Steve." "Nah, this is a great idea, dude." (Or: the one where they hook up in Vegas.)

quiet when i'm coming home by homeward_bound (5up/Hafu/David, teen rating, gen & multi | 1.4k words)

Summary: 5up comes home from LA.

i could peel it for you by sweetlikesugr (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2k words)

Summary: One appletini at a time, 5up ponders about oranges, buttons and celestial bodies.

from blossoms by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2k words)

Summary: “O, to take what we love inside, to carry within us an orchard, to eat not only the skin, but the shade, not only the sugar, but the days, to hold the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into the round jubilance of peach. There are days we live as if death were nowhere in the background; from joy to joy to joy, from wing to wing, from blossom to blossom to impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.” -Li-Young Lee, From Blossoms

you think that i'm foolish now by amsves (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.1k words)

Summary: “Is everything okay?” That’s a stupid question and Steve knows it. If everything was okay, Five wouldn’t be randomly appearing at his hotel room at—Steve checks his phone—2:37 in the morning. Their group had split up for the night a few hours ago, uncharacteristically early for them, but Five had had plans to talk to—

Like you wouldn't notice by Anonymous (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.1k words)

Summary: Apollo is having feelings, so he pushes them down and hopes Steve doesn't notice. Avoiding Steve was never going to end well. "From that moment on, Apollo becomes hyper-aware of all things Steve. The way his long leg touches his, hip-to-knee, in the bar booth when they're drinking overpriced cocktails."

Vegas Lights by amethystvxidwalker (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.3k words)

Summary: “You were planning on actually swimming with me, right?” Steve faced him, brown eyes and dopey grin almost making Five swoon. He forced himself to focus on Steve’s face rather than the black ink above his hip, small, blocky text that read ‘SUGR?’ because of course it did.

ice-cream-covered screaming hyperactive thought by cj__writes (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 2.5k words)

Summary: Apollo isn’t sure when, exactly, he fell in love with Steve. Maybe, just maybe, he thinks, he never really fell. Maybe, he’s been falling. He’s still falling.

u spilled orange on u by SmearedWords (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 3.1k words)

Summary: Five times Dumbdog thinks Steve is illegally attractive and the one time he tries to admit that to him. Keyword: tries.

My love is the evening breeze touching your skin by tumtummeke (Apollo & Steve, general rating, gen | 5.2k words)

Summary: Steve's love language is physical touch. Dumbdog's is... not that. A day at the beach with Steve and Dumbdog (and background crewfu), told in five touches.

be like the love that discovered sin by Qupid (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 5.6k words)

Summary: It’s annoying because Apollo even left for work a whole hour early today, which should be enough time to get to his shitty office job like everyone else on the train, but unlike everyone else, Apollo also has a second job. Which leads to the last reason why Apollo is having a bad day: being pinned under an overturned car while a villain monologues at him. Well, that last reason isn’t really part of Apollo’s bad day, but sue him if he wants to include the misfortunes of his hero identity Dumbdog while listing the reasons for his bad mood. “I don’t have time for this, Suptic,” Apollo grits out, interrupting the villain’s monologue.

friends in this town by 5280ft (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 6.1k words)

Summary: Five only realizes he’s bitten his nails down to the quick when the sting of pain catches up to him. He’s probably overthinking. He just needs to talk to Hafu. That’s all. ...He doesn’t want to. He’s worried he will only hear an answer he’ll hate. Out back, putting off talking to his sister really gives Five a sense of deja vu. All he needs to complete the feeling is Steve. “You need to relax, man.” Speak of the devil.

this party's just another haunted house by cj__writes (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 7.7k words, chaptered WIP)

Summary: On December 31st, Apollo wakes up in his hotel in Vegas. The problem is, it's always December 31st.

call me by your name (i don't know that's pretty gay) by Qupid (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 10k words)

Summary: “Oh!” The human suddenly exclaimed, “You probably want my name!” Five had no interest in holding the power of a name over a human, it always seemed more trouble than it was worth, “Not particu-” “I’m Steve! It’s a pleasure to meet someone as cute as you.” The human, Steve, interrupted before 5up could finish. 5up’s eyes widened as he felt the power of gaining a name rush through him.  It was intoxicating and he could see why some fae would frequently come to the human realm just to trick humans into giving up their names. Five hadn’t needed to trick Steve, the man had given up his name freely and Five couldn’t believe how goddamn stupid he was to do it. “Ohhhh my god you’re an idiot.”

you'll hear me howling outside your door by Qupid (Apollo/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 22.2k words)

Summary: Something warm blew against Steve’s face and, distantly, he heard a high pitched whine. A nudge, and when Steve ignored it, a more insistent push had him opening his eyes to the face of a wolf mere inches from his own. Steve laughed. How delightful!  He was hallucinating animals now. The wolf’s fur looked bright to him, but even with as dark as it was Steve could tell it wasn’t white. Maybe it was more of a sandy color. Not that it mattered when all Steve could focus on was its piercing gaze and how its eyes seemed to bore into his soul. The wolf whined again and nudged Steve in the shoulder with its nose, making the man rear back when he realized that this might actually be a real wolf and not a hallucination at all.

kinda good for my love by sweetlikesugr (5up/Steve, teen rating, m/m | 44.7k words, chaptered)

Summary: 5up can’t really recall the exact moment when dares became his and Steve’s thing and he is not sure if he even wants to try - after all, why would you mess with something that feels so natural, that feels so right? Why not just let it take its course and see where it might lead them?

Also: mangoedges‘s 5up the human impostor collection!

FAQ:

Wait what is this: pretty straight to the point! i’ll regularly share crewfu-related fanfictions to this blog :)

How regularly is “regularly”?: great question! LOL. it depends on the flow of fanfics that get uploaded, which i do not have any control over, but i’m looking forward to do this twice a month. after all, it’s only me doing this and i often run on a tight schedule.

What’s the format like?:

[title of fic with link] by [author of the fic with link] ([main pairing(s)], [fic rating: eg, general rating], [relationship: eg, m/m] | [word count in k], [added prompt to specify if it’s complete or not])

Summary: [summary provided by the author. if it doesn’t have a summary, a “No summary” prompt will be put instead]

(What does WIP mean again?): Work In Progress :)

Why are you doing this?: from the beginning, my blog has hosted conversations about RPF (real people fiction) and crewfu pairings. this has evolved into people sending me updates about certain fics in the crewfu tags every now and then, but i wanna take the next step and just do these things myself. after all, i’m already lurking in the tags often to see the fics that get posted. as someone who is both a writer and a reader, i wanna appreciate fanfic writers and help out other people that want to read fanfic and consume more fandom content!

Will it be AO3 only?: well, ao3 has a very helpful tag system that makes finding fics incredibly easy, as well as allowing people with no accounts to like and comment on fics, so that’s the site i will personally look in for fanworks. but if there are any fics you’ve written or liked in any other platforms, such as wattpad, you can always contact me through my inbox (send an ask or a dm!), and i’ll make sure to include for the next fanfic spotlight :)

Does it mean you won’t reply to fic asks anymore?: yeah, i guess. since i’ll be doing the searching myself it seems counterproductive. but if i ever skip a fic or again, it’s in another platform, or you’ve posted/read the fic a while ago and you want to get more traction on it, hit me up and i’ll take it into consideration!

Will you read every single one of the fics on your list?: oh no. again, i run on a tight schedule, and also i have my own taste when it comes to fics. i won’t be reviewing fics or any of the sort, and my intention extends to simply sharing these fics to this page so people will have easier access to them :) that’s where ao3 tagging becomes SUPER useful!!!

So what’s the criteria for the way you’ll sort out the fics in your list?: word count, going from lowest to highest. in case of fics in other platforms, i guess i’ll put them at the top of the list. i’ll also be looking for fairly recent fics, so let me know if you want any old-ish fic to be included.

I see you talking mostly about 5up/Steve and Steve/Apollo. Can I still send/see other crewfu fics?: why yes absolutely! my goal is to push every fic which heavily features regular crewfu characters - 5uptic and supdog just happen to be very popular pairings. so, to give you a list: core 4 (5up, hafu, dk, steve), apollo, aipha, annie, janet, kimi, ellum, koji… you know the drill. it doesn’t have to be centered on a relationship, or about 5up in specific, etc. my only requirement is that any of the previously mentioned members are a central part of the fic or are HEAVILY featured in it (sorry, minecraft fics with 50+ tags who only mention 5up as an afterthought won’t make the cut :/).

Isn’t shipping Bad™?: well, it’s a little more nuanced than that. i will go out of my way to discourage and shame people who often violate CCs’ boundaries by acting like so and so has a crush on this person, or that this and that are Actually Into Each Other or secretly dating. any sort of tinhat bullshit is a big nono (think larries). but i run on the assumption that people who write rpf understand that what they’re doing is simply write a completely fictional story using real life personalities, and understand the boundaries necessary to do it - aka they’re not tinhats, they understand they can’t assume everything about CCs’ thoughts and personalities, they understand that what they’re writing is strictly fiction, they keep these works only in fandom circles, etc. (but again, it’s only one me doing this, so please be kind if i don’t happen to know that this person is Actually a tinhat or whatever).

show fic: NO. (seriously. i don’t feel comfortable putting my ao3 account out there. please respect my privacy on these trying times <3)

I REALLY don’t care about your rpf/fic talk: fair! i’ll be tagging every single one of these posts as “fanfic spotlight”, so just mute the tag using tumblr settings so you’ll never have to look at these! likewise, you can follow the tag if you want to keep up with it, or search it on my blog to look at the other entries you might have missed.

Hey, my fic is here and I don’t feel comfortable with it being shared over here: no problem! let me know as soon as you can and i’ll take it down <3

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

The last couple of weeks of May flew by, soon June arrived and with it even more sunny days and warmer temperatures. Peter couldn’t help but think that his life fell apart in the winter, and as summer approached, it was slowly getting back on track. He was able to save a decent amount of money every month, his apartment was coming together – he even had a dinner table and chairs by the second week of June –, he was taking on more responsibility at BFF way quicker than expected and he was happier, in general.

He felt comfortable enough to make plans again – with the steady money he was making, he might be able to give up porn in a couple of years and he would still be eligible to apply for some of BFF’s grants and scholarships, meaning he may be able to go to college at 23, after all. Money would be tight for a while, but it was doable. He could always work part-time to supplement his income as well.

Summer also brought some unexpected good news. On a random Thursday morning, he was bombarded with messages on Twitter and Instagram from people asking where they could find his videos now that Beck’s channel was down. He was confused at first, but when he went to check, the channel wasn’t there, it had disappeared from the site.

He gasped. For a total of five seconds, his mind went wild, his heart raced, and his eyes watered. For those five seconds, he felt a mixture of happiness, relief and confusion, knowing those videos weren’t out there anymore, couldn’t be found, couldn’t be seen, couldn’t be remembered. But it was only for five blissful seconds. When his brain turned back on and the first rush of excitement died down, he realized that probably wouldn’t last.

That had happened before, when they first started posting. People mass reported the videos and the channel until they got taken down, because Peter looked very young at eighteen. They had to send a picture of his ID to the website for check several times, it was months before it stopped happening once and for all. Peter assumed Beck was posting videos of his new boyfriend, who he knew looked very young, so it was probably just a misunderstanding and only a matter of time until he got the channel – and the videos – back up.

Still, he allowed himself to count that as a win and couldn’t help but feeling giddy all day, to the point where everybody noticed his good mood – Ned, MJ, people at BFF and Tony.

Tony, who didn’t disappear. As days and nights and weeks went by, Peter stopped waiting for it to happen.

“Someone is awfully cheery today.” The older man grinned at him from the driver’s side that night, as Peter sang along to Ed Sheeran, because it was his turn to choose the playlist. Tony had picked him up from BFF and they were heading to his place for a quiet night in.

“It’s a good day, Tony.” He shot back after the chorus of Put it All on Me and the older man beamed, the corners of his eyes crinkling up.

“It sure is, kitten.” He turned up the volume and Peter sang even louder, causing Tony to burst out laughing.

At some point, he realized life was a little less complicated than he gave it credit for. He realized that if he actually gave things the precise amount of thought they deserved, not everything felt like the end of the world. The minute he decided to just let things happen the way they were supposed to happen, without overthinking every detail, life got so much easier.

He decided not to make the thing with Tony a big deal. Sure, when he thought about it for more than two minutes, it seemed like a huge fucking deal, he was basically dating Tony Stark, one of the richest men in the world, Iron Man himself, the man who had literately saved half the universe from extinction not even two years earlier. So, yes, that seemed like a big fucking deal, but–

But.

To him, he was just Tony. This charming guy who texted him daily to ask about his day and crack acid jokes about his business associates. This kind guy who sent him chocolates when he was feeling down and cooked him dinner every weekend and made sure to e-mail him easy and healthy recipes so he wouldn’t starve to death. This gentle guy who called him beautiful and touched him with such care that he forgot how many hands had left bruises on his skin before.

When he forgot everything Tony was supposed to be and just focused on everything that he was to him, what they had seemed so simple and pure.

He stopped worrying about labels, too. In the beginning, he kept stressing about what they had, what was expected of him, what he expected of Tony, but eventually, he decided none of that mattered. They made each other feel good, they made each other happy, they made each other better, all in all, whatever label he could put on their relationship wouldn’t make any difference, so he let it go.

Weeks later, Peter heard Beck had managed to get the channel back up, only for it to get taken down again in a few hours, then his Instagram and Twitter also disappeared. He wasn’t too surprised, and if he was honest with himself, it was fun imagining Beck losing his mind as he tried to fix it. After all, every day the channel was down, he was losing money. And his social media, specially his Twitter account, was where he promoted his content to thousands of followers, so losing that meant losing money as well, and if there was one thing Peter knew Beck loved, it was money.

He wondered what the fuck the man had done to piss people off like that, it was clearly a coordinated attack, but he wasn’t curious enough to try and find out what happened. He would rather watch from a distance, rejoicing in the satisfaction it gave him to imagine that maybe, just maybe, one of those days Beck wouldn’t be able to get the channel back up and would have to start from scratch, like Peter did. And maybe then he wouldn’t re-upload his videos – that part was a little harder to believe, but who knew, stranger things had happened.

When June came to an end, Peter was surprised with a notification from Tony on Just4Fans. He had almost forgot the man was still subscribed to his account there, they obviously never chatted on the app anymore, and when he opened the notification, his blood ran cold in his veins.

It was a tip.

A hundred thousand dollars tip.

He couldn’t fucking believe it. A tip? For what, a job well done? It wasn’t like Peter was – what did that even mean? Was Tony trying to say something with that, send some kind of message?

He decided not to call him right away, he was too – upset. The older man was picking him up later that evening for dinner, so he decided to wait. Whatever he had to say to him, he wanted to hear it in person. He wanted him to look in his eyes and tell him he thought he was his fucking wh–

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked as soon he got in his car, avoiding the kiss that came his way. Tony blinked in surprise, trying to understand why he got a phone shoved in his face instead of a kiss, and then he finally saw what that was all about.

“Oh, that–“ But before he could answer anything, Peter interrupted.

“I told you I’m not – Tony, why would you – this is so insulting!” He was honestly at a loss for words. They had been seeing each other for almost two months by then, things were going great, they met every week, they made apple pie together, for God’s sake, had he misunderstood all the signs?

“My God, Peter, that’s not that, I just thought – I mean, I’m a billionaire, you know this is pocket change for me, right?” Peter gasped, shocked, and Tony’s eyes widened when he fumbled with the door handle. “Wait! I didn’t mean – Jesus, okay, hold on a second, please!” Tony reached over him to shut the door before Peter could get out of the car. The young man turned to look at him with tears in his eyes and Tony looked incredulous when he leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t just assume the worst, have I given you any reason for that?” He sounded hurt, which made Peter gulp. He took a few calming breaths and shook his head slowly.

“No,” he whispered, dropping his gaze.

“Ok, good.” He actually sounded relieved at that. “I am a billionaire, Peter, and this is pocket change for me, which means –“ he raised his voice a little, predicting a reaction from him that didn’t come, “I didn’t realize this would be such a big deal. For me, it’s like giving you, I don’t know, flowers. I didn’t mean this as a payment for whatever you think this is, I just thought this would be a good help. You’re starting your life now, you have that list of yours that you don’t let me see, you’re saving up money, you have your plans for college, I just meant to help. I mean, if we weren’t together, I would have tipped you every month, so I thought –“

“But we are together, Tony, I –“ he was a little calmer then, because that was, in fact, a reasonable explanation and he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. “Look, I appreciate the gesture, but next time you mean to give me flowers, just give me flowers! I believe you have the best intentions at heart, but it’s just weird for me. I don’t want this to be about money. I just – don’t want that, okay?”

He gazed at the older man as he gaped at him, mouth opening and closing, but no sound came out for a while.

“I just thought – I mean, people usually –“ It was unusual to see Tony speechless like that, but the man shook his head and looked back at him, almost embarrassed. “I just want to help you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Peter poked him in the arm, trying to lighten up the mood in the car. “You’re teaching me how to cook. Yesterday I made an omelet and I only burned one side, I’m getting good at this. That’s a big help.”

Tony didn’t laugh at his joke, like he usually did, he just gazed at him with an unreadable expression, before leaning in to kiss him, which Peter gladly reciprocated.

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable,” he whispered, then, resting his forehead against his.

“And I’m sorry I was rude. It won’t happen again,” he promised, and he meant it.

After that night, he removed Tony from his Just4Fans, which came as a blow to the older man, who pouted and whined for about a week, only stopping when Peter showed up at his place one Saturday wearing Iron Man lingerie under his clothes – it was supposed to be a joke, but it worked surprisingly well for Tony.  

By July, it became impossible to keep sneaking around Ned and MJ, as the dates became more frequent. Peter decided to tell them that he had met someone online and that they were getting to know each other. He told them it was nothing serious yet and if it became serious, they would meet him.

He did have to throw in a few lies to get them off his back – he definitely had to lie about Tony’s age to avoid certain comparisons, but he would cross that bridge when he got to it, if he ever got to it. He wasn’t sure if or when he was going to tell them the whole truth, but for the time being, he  felt more comfortable keeping that relationship to himself.

He and Tony didn’t go out much, but when they did, it was always to fancy and discreet restaurants with private rooms; Tony was, after all, a celebrity for all intents and purposes, and at if the press got a whiff of them there would be no secret left to keep.

But staying in with Tony was far from boring. They cooked together and the older man taught him all of his grandmother’s secret recipes – Peter could never replicate them by himself at home, but it was still fun trying. They spent almost all of their time down in the workshop, though, where Tony  had him do menial tasks, like screwing bolts or reaching for a part inside an Iron Man suit. He said his tiny hands were useful for his projects.

He knew he wasn’t really that useful, but he loved when Tony included him and asked for his help, even though he didn’t really need it. He was fascinated by everything the older man taught him in those moments and in turn Tony always looked proud and pleased when Peter put his lessons to use.

He didn’t mind keeping him company when Tony was focused on projects he couldn’t help with, he stayed there anyway, reading a book or watching TV on the tiny couch – Tony kept saying he was going to get a bigger one, but he didn’t believe it, he knew the older man enjoyed the fact that the only way they could fit comfortably on it was if Peter was lying half on top of him.

So after several weeks, they established a little routine of their own. Since Tony had a busy schedule and Peter was still trying to keep Ned and MJ somewhat in the dark, they didn’t meet that often on week days, but they always talked on the phone before bed. On Thursdays, Tony picked him up after his shift at BFF and he spent the night at his place. They had breakfast together on Fridays and then they met again every Saturday after lunch, and finally Tony dropped him back off home every Sunday evening, so he could have dinner with his friends.

In August, for the first time in his life, Peter had two birthday celebrations. One with his friends, when the three of them went bar-hopping and he got home so hammered he had absolutely no idea how they managed to climb the stairs, and another with Tony, when he decorated the workshop with  balloons and put party hats on Dum-E and U.

“Surprise!” He yelled lamely, throwing confetti at Peter when they stepped into the workshop. The younger man laughed, delighted, as Tony hurried to the kitchenette and came back with something in his hands. “I know it doesn’t look good, but I promise it tastes good. Probably.” When Peter looked down, he noticed it was a large chocolate cake with ‘Happy Birthday, kitten’ written on it in bright pink icing. It looked so ugly, but it was so beautiful at the same time. “What did I do now?” Tony frowned, face falling.

He blinked a few times and when he touched his cheeks, he realized he was crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m just – really happy.” He grinned, pulling the older man’s face to give him a kiss. “Thank you.”

It was late October when Tony told him he had to go on a trip to China for two weeks, and even though it wasn’t his first work trip since they started dating, five months earlier, it would be by far the longest one since then, so it was kind of a big deal. Still, he didn’t expect to feel so affected, but on the days leading up to it he was so upset he couldn’t hide it.

They spent their last Sunday together wrapped up in each other doing absolutely nothing. They slept in, Tony brought Peter breakfast in bed, which was rewarded with a lazy and sloppy blow job, and they spent all day in bed, only getting up for essentials, like food and water. They didn’t even turn on the TV, they didn’t even talk much. They just held each other and exchanged slow, tender kisses until their bodies were too warm to stay under the sheets.

Tony ran a bath for them and got in the tub – it was big enough for eight people, but Peter made a point to sit in his lap, clinging to him like a koala. He felt Tony’s arms encircle him gently, as he rested his chin on top of his head.

“I’ll be home before you even have time to miss me, kitten.” He whispered, and those were the first words either of them had said in at least a few hours.

Peter didn’t tell him that was impossible since he already missed him, instead he just held him even tighter.

After the bath water went cold, they climbed out of the tub and Tony insisted on drying him, before dressing him in one of his own T-shirts, even though Peter had a multitude of spare clothes in his closet. He sat in bed, watching Tony pack a huge suitcase that reminded him just how long he would be gone for. He sulked a little – just a little – and that earned him a little kiss on his forehead, which was enough to undo the frown between his brows.

Finally, in the evening, Tony parked his car in front of Peter’s building, turning to look at him with an almost pained smile, before leaning in for a kiss.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Peter whispered against his mouth and felt when Tony’s lips stretched into a small smile. He pulled away a little, just enough to look into his eyes, and cupped his chin in his hand.

“I’ll miss you too, but I won’t be long, ok? It’s just a few days.” He pecked Peter’s lips one more time for good measure and the younger man nodded.

“Call me if you have time.”

“Of course, kitten, every day.” He leaned in for another kiss, this one longer than the previous, and Peter’s heart fluttered. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out, containing the urge to say those three words that had been trapped in the back of his throat for weeks.

“Have a safe trip. Let me know when you land.”

“I will, baby.”

Peter got out of the car and waved, watching as it disappeared down the street. He sighed and his heart ached, he already missed Tony and it had only been a few seconds, how was he going to survive fifteen whole days? It seemed impossible. It was crazy to think how far they had come since March, when they talked for the first time. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

He turned to go inside, but froze in place when he heard a familiar voice.

“So that’s why you’ve been ignoring me, huh? How rude.” He turned slowly to the left, only to be met with Beck’s cocky, arrogant smile, just a few feet away from him. “I tried calling, I tried texting, you’ve blocked me everywhere, I can’t even e-mail you anymore, it appears.” Beck walked slowly and leaned against the rails of the stairs to Peter’s building and the younger man curled his hands in fists, trying to control the urge to just run. “Long time no see, Petey-pie.”

He was paralyzed, muscles rigid, but to his own surprise, it wasn’t fear that he felt, or sadness. It was pure anger.  

“I wonder why,” he answered quietly, but firmly. Beck’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, before the smile was back in place. “How did you find me?” He demanded, because Beck had never cared to ask where Peter was going to stay after he kicked him out, so how in the hell would he know where to find him?

“Wasn’t easy, I have been following you on Instagram, some of your morning run routes seemed familiar, so I–”

“You stalked me?” He frowned, taking a step closer to the other man, who looked at Peter with indignation and hurt. He shook his head, softened those baby blue eyes and placed one hand over his chest, right above where his heart would have been if he had one.

“I just wanted to see you, is all.” He shrugged, dropping his gaze to stare at his own feet, and Peter wanted to roll his eyes. It was so weird watching his whole act now that the spell had been lifted.

“What do you want?” He asked, making the older man’s head snap back up, a little surprised by his cold tone.

“I just told you, I wanted to see you. I missed you.” He took a few steps towards Peter, who in turn walked backwards to keep his distance

“You missed me?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Where’s your new boy-toy, you put him away so you could come play with me?” He cocked his head to the side and, for a moment, he could see the shock crossing his features.

“Pete… Why are you acting like this, it’s like I don’t even know you anymore...” His voice broke and he looked away, pretending to wipe away a tear. He wondered how the hell he used to fall for that.

“You don’t, Quentin. I’m not a lost little boy anymore, you should go back to your boyfriend. Or is he smarter than me and dumped you already? Is that what this is all about?” He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, and Beck’s mouth hung open like he couldn’t believe his words.

“I made a mistake, Pete. After so many years, I took you for granted, I couldn’t see what I saw the first time I met you. I couldn’t see how beautiful you were, how caring and loving you were, how loyal and reliable and – I don’t know, I was blind. I was so stupid, I shouldn’t have left you.” His eyes were wide, earnest, shining with unshed tears. His face was open, even his body language screamed honesty. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so bad about falling for his act – Beck was good. “Don’t  you miss me, baby? Don’t you miss us?”

Peter snorted, shaking his head, he couldn’t believe the nerve of that man.

“You made a mistake, huh? So you dumped your new boy, right? If I were to go home with you right now, he wouldn’t be there, waiting for you, like a fucking plan B, in case this doesn’t go your way. Right?” It was his turn to take a few steps towards the older man. “Like I was your plan B while you waited for him to turn 18?”

“Peter, c’mon–“

“Is he there, Beck? Just answer me that. Come on, if he’s not, I’ll take you back right now, we can go home together.” He insisted, looking into the older man’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything, he just sighed. “Of course he is. If I said yes, what would you do? Tell him to pack his things in the middle of the night and leave? Would you keep all the money he’s made you and tell him to fuck off? Would you leave him broke and lonely and fucking lost in this world? Would you tell him that he wasn’t good enough and dispose of him like he’s fucking garbage?” His voice grew louder and louder, and when he came to himself, he noticed he was in Beck’s face, their chests almost touching, so he took a step back. “So to answer your question, Quentin, no, I don’t fucking miss you. You fucking ruined me!”

“I saved you!” And just like that, the good guy act was gone. His whole demeanor changed, the soft baby blues widened, his mouth was set in a sneer, he puffed out his chest to intimidate him, but Peter stood his ground. “Don’t pretend you don’t remember who you were before me. You were a fucking loser! An orphan, no family, no friends, no future! I took you in, I took care of you, I gave you a profession – don’t fucking roll your eyes, what the fuck are you doing now, huh? Rocket science? ‘Cause it seems to me like you’re still doing porn, and now you’re clearly branching out into prostitution, would you look at that!”

“You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!” He placed his hands on the man’s chest and pushed him away when he got too fucking close for comfort. He held his breath when he realized what he had done, afraid of the man’s reaction, but he just kept his distance.  

“You know what? Fuck you, Peter. I was wrong about you, I thought I knew who you were, I thought I missed you, but you’re just a disgusting fucking whore, after all. You’re a dirty little bitch in heat who likes to get this loose hole of yours fucked by old perverts, I don’t know why I’m surprised, I mean, that’s why I dumped you, you were enjoying those videos a little bit too much for my taste. You weren’t even satisfied with two cocks up your ass, one in your mouth and a line of men waiting to fuck you. You disgust me.” He started walking away, and Peter wanted to say something, he wanted to yell at him and defend himself, he wanted to tell him he didn’t fucking enjoy it, he wanted to tell him that it was all his fault, he threw him to the lions, he let those men fucking–

Fuck!

He rushed inside the building and ran upstairs, eyes clouded with tears. He tripped and fell knees first on the steps, but he didn’t even feel pain, he just got up and kept going, kept running, trying to put as much distance between him and Beck as he could, even though it was irrational. Beck was gone, he walked away, he left him, he left him again, he wasn’t coming back–

“Ned?!” He knocked urgently on his friends’ door. He didn’t have his spare key, it was upstairs in his own apartment, but he couldn’t trust himself to go all the way up there and down again without having a full on panic attack. “MJ?! Are you guys home?!” He was really trying not to sound too desperate, he didn’t want to scare them, but it was hard controlling his emotions when his heart was hammering against his chest and he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Peter?” It was MJ who yanked the door open. She had a towel wrapped around her torso, her hair was wet, and Peter felt guilty, but she took one look at him and quickly pulled him into a hug. “My God, Peter...” She whispered into his hair when he started sobbing uncontrollably on her naked shoulder. “Come on in, c’mon.” He heard the door closing behind him, but he didn’t let go of her, he felt like if he did, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together.  

He wanted to tell her not to worry, that she should go finish her shower and change, but he really, really needed her right then. She sat down on the couch, pulling him with her and he promptly laid down, burying his face in her legs. He couldn’t stop crying and sobbing and no matter how many times she asked him what was wrong, sounding increasingly more worried, he couldn’t get his feelings under control enough to give her any answer.

He was there for what felt like hours, when at some point someone lifted him from MJ’s lap and enveloped him in such a tight hug he couldn’t breath for a second, but he sighed in relief, it was right what he needed. Ned’s arms felt like home, it calmed him down almost instantly – his voice whispering that it was fine, everything was going to be okay helped a lot, too.

“I hate him, I hate him so fucking much,” he mumbled into his shoulder, God knew how much time later, and his friend just hummed, patting his back. “I hate that he made a mess of me and I let him.” He couldn’t hold back more tears when he said that, because it was true, it was so fucking true. He let Beck do whatever he wanted to him, he let him ruin his dreams, his future, his fucking personality, until he was nothing but a shell of what he used to be.

“I know, Peter, I know,” Ned soothed him, rubbing his back, even though he probably had no idea what he was talking about. “It’s okay now. You’re okay. It’s over”

“I made tea.” MJ’s quiet voice sounded somewhere from his right and when he turned to look at her, she was already dressed, wet hair up in a bun, with a mug in her hands, which she extended to him. He accepted it but didn’t dare to take a sip, he was positive that if he did, he would throw up, his stomach was all kinds of fucked up at that moment. “Peter, what happened? Did Star – uh, did your boyfriend do something? Did he hurt? ‘Cause I swear to God–” Just the mention of Tony being the cause of his distress made him sick, so he cut her off.

“Beck was here.” He sniffed, looking at the mug to avoid their eyes when he heard both of them gasping.

“Beck? Beck was here? Fucking Beck?” MJ screeched and he nodded.

“He was waiting for me outside.” He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to gather enough energy to have that conversation.  

“What did he want?” Ned asked calmly, while MJ paced the floor, furious.

“I don’t know...” He shrugged, wrecking his brain to try and figure out what his motive was. “His channel got taken down a few weeks ago and he couldn’t get it back up. I heard he had to start over.” He hadn’t been watching that closely, but he knew something was wrong, even his Twitter and Instagram accounts kept getting taken down almost monthly, it was impossible he was making any money over the past few months. “He said he wanted to get back together, probably because he thinks us making up would be a big hit or whatever. I said no, of course. He didn’t like the answer.”

“Did he hurt you?!” MJ strode back to him until she was standing right in front of him, looking into his eyes. He was almost intimidated by her.

“No, he just… Said some pretty shitty things, is all,” he answered sheepishly, because he hated that that man could still make a mess of him with just a few hurtful words.

“Oh, dude. He’s just mad he’s lost control over you. Whatever he said, he just wanted to hurt you, it doesn’t mean anything.” Ned placed an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, and Peter rested his head against his, sighing.

“I know. He was always like that, you know,” he whispered, as flashes of memories crossed his mind. “When I didn’t bend to his wishes, when I didn’t do things his way, he fucking–“ He squeezed his eyes shut, furious, because he had fallen for that again. “He tries to charm me and when it doesn’t work, he attacks me. But the thing is, he really knows what to say to destroy me. It just sucks. But it’s fine. I just need a moment, I’ll be fine.” He sat up straight and looked both of his friends in the eyes.

“Yes, you will. You most certainly will.” Ned patted his shoulder one last time, getting up from the couch. “Why don’t you lie down for a second, huh? I’m making dinner, I’ll even try one of those recipes your mystery boyfriend taught you.” Just the mention of Tony made him breathe a little easier, even though he wouldn’t be able to see him for a while.

“Okay.” He nodded, smiling softly. MJ took Ned’s place on the couch and he lay down, placing his head on her legs, as she ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed contently and closed his eyes, feeling exhausted. He was close to drifting off when he heard Ned gasp.

“Oh my God,” He breathed quietly from the kitchen and both Peter and MJ looked at him curiously from over the back of the couch.

“What?” She didn’t look too worried, but Peter was concerned about how pale he was.

“Ned, what’s wrong?” He frowned, watching Ned’s horrified expression looking at his phone like it was a murder scene. He raised his eyes and gulped.

“Peter is trending on Twitter,” he whispered, after a while.

“What?!” They both hurried over to the kitchen counter, and the first thing Peter saw when he looked at his phone was a picture of him and Tony in his car, kissing. As Ned scrolled down, more pictures showed up, but not only that, clips of his old videos were all over Twitter, people knew his full name, his real name, and they were making all sorts of comments. Iron Man, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, sex worker, prostitute and porn were trending.

The room was completely silent for a whole minute, before MJ turned on the TV.

“… appear that Tony Stark, former CEO of Stark Industries and retired Avenger, was seen kissing a young man in his car earlier this evening. The person in the pictures seems to be one Peter Parker, a twenty-one year old porn actor, who is also said to work as a prostitute…”

Peter’s heart sank to the bottom of his stomach, his vision blurred and he felt bile rising in his throat. He took a deep breath and got up from the couch, ears ringing, as he rushed to the front door.  He heard his friends yelling something, but he couldn’t make out their words, and he just couldn’t deal with all that right then and there.

“I, uhm, I gotta go,” he called from over his shoulder, slamming the door shut on his way out.

As he ran upstairs, vision blurred by tears and chest hurting, begging for oxygen, he couldn’t help but remember his life fell apart in the winter. And fall would be over soon.

-x-

So... It appears that someone has lost the ability to write short chapters... 

Anyways, only three more chapters to go!  🥳

Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list):  @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud @staticwhispersinthedark @bluestarker @ whyisthisathingcb

[doexoeyes]

Of Finches and Firsts

Alright, alright now we’re getting to the fun parts. Thank you again to those that are continuing along with the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter ♡

(Already uploaded chapter 5 on these sites)

Archive Of Our own link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707513

Wattpad link:

https://my.w.tt/ZoUHpu1e59

Summary: “A Hufflepuff? Crushing on a Slytherin? Sounds like the start of a terrible joke to me, but ok.” You’ve harbored feelings for Draco Malfoy since your first year at Hogwarts. Secretly, of course, and very much from afar. But when you’re finally taken out of your role of being a background character in his life, will it be what you always wanted, or what you wish you never knew?

            Chapters

Chapter 1 ♡ Chapter 2 ♡ Chapter 3 ♡ Chapter 4

Chapter 3: A Forced Confession

A few days later, on the way to classes, you passed by your friends at the courtyard who you caught laughing and hollering together, clearly looking very amused.

“What’s got you all so entertained?” you asked, a single brow raised in questioning.

Mauve turned to look at you, trying her best to stifle her laughter.

“Oh, you completely missed it! Malfoy was starting up trouble with Potter once again and Professor Moody intervened and turned Malfoy into a ferret!” she informed you, bursting into a fit with the others.

“He was even white, just like his hair! It was bloody hilarious,” Milton chimed in, letting out a very unflattering snort.

Your eyes widened, and although you tried to, you were unable to keep your face straight. The thought of Draco as a ferret was too funny to act like it wasn’t.

“No way! Isn’t that like, against the rules? I’m pretty sure a professor can’t use transfiguration on a student, especially as a punishment,” you noted, putting a hand over your mouth as you tried to control your giggling.

“Oh yeah, McGonagall was furious, but it was too good. He even forced him to go into Crabbe’s pants!” Mauve answered and you just about lost it then and there, clutching at your side with the rest of the giggling Hufflepuffs.

“He’s gonna be scrubbing himself till Christmas. I can’t even imagine what that must have felt like,” Augustus said with a shudder.

“He made a very cute ferret though, didn’t he? For the first time he looked rather sweet and harmless,” Mauve added.

“I say he should spend the rest of the year as a rodent. See if maybe that humbles him,” Milton teased as the rest chorused in favor.

You shook your head at this, finally able to regain your composure.

“Come on guys. He’s not that bad...” you said and immediately regretted it once they all directed their attention towards you.

“Not that bad? Y/n, do you not remember the countless of times that boy has terrorized the students here? Not including the barbaric way he treats Harry and his friends, mind you,” Mauve said, looking at you as if you grew another head.

“Yeah, remember how last year he casted that dreadful Bat-Boogey Hex on me? I had bats flying out of my nose for an entire night! Our bed chambers turned into a bat sanctuary and never mind the fact that I had my exams the following morning,” Augustus complained, clearly still upset about it.

You grimaced, imagining the scenario in your head.

“And how he talks back to the professors and flaunts his status in front of everyone. Do you know how tired I am of hearing him say ‘my father will hear about this’? I’ve started hearing it in my sleep!” Milton adds in frustration.

You recoil at their gazes and could feel the judgement radiating off of them. You weren’t a fan of this kind of attention.

“I’m aware that he’s done terrible things, but...”

“But what?” Mauve interrupts. “He’s different on the inside? Seriously Y/n, it’s almost as if you’re in love with him,” she says with a roll of her eyes before turning back to face the rest of the group.

You remained there, focused on keeping your face blank when you felt Mauve’s eyes back on you again. You noticed your friend’s eyes widen and her mouth part, looking as if she caught on to a secret she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Will you excuse us for a second,” Mauve announced to the others, grabbing hold of your hand as she pulled you away from the group.

“You’re in love with him!” Mauve stated in shock, trying to keep her tone hushed.

“What?! No, I’m not! I am not in love with him,” you quickly assured her, shaking your head rapidly.

“But you definitely like him! You can’t lie to me, we both know you’re terrible at it. You seriously have feelings for Draco Malfoy!” she spat out in exasperation, looking as if she were going to be sick.

You could feel the heat rising on your face, completely embarrassed. This was exactly the reason why you kept your feelings to yourself.

“Mauve, please...”

“Listen,” she said, cutting you off, “I honestly think that it’s a terrible choice on your end, but it’s your choice nonetheless. If you have feelings for Malfoy, then there’s nothing I can do but respect that. But please, Y/n, do keep in mind who he really is. Don’t let your feelings romanticize him for your benefit, because in the end there’s a pretty high chance you’ll only get hurt and disappointed,” she warned, eyes softening in concern.

You silently processed her words, instinctively biting your lower lip.

The words Mauve had said weighed heavy on your chest.  You were grateful your friend cared enough to say what she did, but you didn’t understand why it was even necessary in the first place. You weren’t in love with the boy, and even if you were, nothing was ever going to happen with him. You were just pining from afar, as pitiful as that sounded, but you were quite content with that.

You just wish your friend understood.

Mauve’s words continued to replay in your head for the entirety of the day, even after classes were finished. As your friends ate and conversed during dinner, you remained quiet, lost in the ghosts of the words Mauve had recited back in the courtyard.

“Don’t let your feelings romanticize him for your benefit, because in the end there’s a pretty high chance you’ll only get hurt and disappointed.”

That was the line that haunted you the most.

————————————————————————

The day of the first challenge for the Triwizard Tournament had started with giddy excitement from the entire school. You had been dressed from head to toe in Hufflepuff pride as you and the other girls in your dormitory, Mauve included, got ready together, enthusiastically adding yellow glitter to your faces and yellow ribbons in your hair.

Walking out of the castle building to where your section would be located, you felt someone tap you from behind. Turning around to see who had done it but finding no one in sight, you furrowed your brows in confusion before turning forward once again and coming face to face with Draco Malfoy.

“Hello, Finch,” he stated, a mischievous smirk taunting you from his lips.

You instinctively swallowed.

“Hello, Malfoy,” you responded back, eyes looking up at him, unsure.

He tilted his head, silver-gray eyes scanning you.

“I see you’re dressed for the occasion. Rooting for Diggory, I see. Although, if you really were loyal, you would wear those ‘Potter Stinks’ buttons he had his lackeys pass around,” he said with a dark chuckle.

You nervously adjusted the yellow ribbon tied to your ponytail, clearing your throat before responding.

“Actually, Cedric wasn’t a fan of those in the first place. He told everyone to stop wearing them, which I think was the right decision. We want to see him win without the need to put any of his competitors down,” you answered, quite confident in your statement despite the nervousness you felt around him.

He raised a brow at this.

“Is that so? You really believe that he’ll win this?”

Despite the smirk disappearing from his face, you still felt like he was taunting you.

You nodded. “He’s been working really hard for this. He’s determined to win and he can do anything he sets his mind to. I think anyone can,” you answered sincerely.

He remained quiet after that, gaze still transfixed on you. Nervously, you played with your ribbon once more and caught his eyes following your hand movements.

“That’s a pretty ribbon you got there,” he commented.

Your eyes widened slightly, surprised at his choice of words and the sudden subject change. “Oh, t-thank you.”

He stepped up closer to you, a little too close, and your breath immediately hitched in your throat.

“Mind if I...” he trailed off as he raised one hand, purposefully grazing it against your cheek as he reached for the ribbon, causing you to nearly sputter out a strange sound of surprise at the sudden feel of his skin on yours.

Even though it was just for second, you could feel how cold his skin was against your cheeks and a shiver ran down your spine. He was so close to you at that point that you could breathe in his scent; old wood, green apple, and some very strong cologne. You could feel his hand toying with your ribbon as his eyes stayed locked on yours.

“...keep it?” he finished, and in one swift movement, you felt him pull at it, smoothly untying it from your hair as he dangled it in front of your face, nearly brushing your nose with it.

You were frozen then, unable to process what had just happened.

With a wink, he walked away, but you couldn’t figure out a way to get your legs to work just yet. Instead, you stayed standing in place, eyes fixed on the yellow ribbon hanging from his hand.

♡

Tag list: @sadgirlnumber92899​

[emwritesfootball]

Sotto Voce: Chapter Two | John McGinn

Word Count: 1,220 Warnings: the audio-portion of this begins; spanking, oral sex (male receiving), details of fantasies

- - -

It’s been a week and he hasn’t said anything more on the podcast idea.

“Any updates on the podcast?” She asks over coffee on a Saturday morning. He’d gotten in late the night before after an away match and she hadn’t seen much of him all week since they’d both been busy.

“Eh. I don’t think I’ll do it. It’ll be a lot of work and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Maybe during the off-season.”

“Well, there’s always audio porn,” she jokes, taking a sip of her coffee.

“What?”

“It’s a joke, Johnny.” She smiles, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, right.”

The ‘joke’ plays on John’s mind the rest of the weekend. He does some cursory research, listening to various audio clips he finds on questionable websites. From what he’s listened to, it doesn’t seem that hard - just be a man or a woman with an attractive accent, some decent sound equipment, and be good with words. By his count, he’s two for three, and he proceeds to scour the internet and various ratings videos on the best recording equipment for making videos and audio recordings.

Within a week, he’s racked up a few thousand pounds worth of sound equipment. He decided to purchase a second laptop with the recording and editing apps he’d need so that he wasn’t using his personal computer after he’d realized his nightmare would be one of the boys accidentally finding out about his new hobby. He gets two microphones, planning on having one as a backup but realizing the moment it arrives that he can use the second to get better sound quality if he ever decides to start stroking himself ‘on air’. There are a few other odds and ends he gets just to put his mind at ease.

If she notices his purchases, she doesn’t say anything. It’s one thing John appreciates about their friendship - she always knows he’ll come to her when he’s ready, and she doesn’t push him for information he’s not ready to give.

Once he has all the equipment set up in the spare bedroom, he starts to get to work. He’s still not sure how all this is supposed to work, but he’s full of pent-up sexual frustration that he’s been saving for this moment.

“Fuck!” He curses, feeling utterly embarrassed and self-conscious as he sits down in the plush gaming chair he impulsively purchased. “Alright, John - you can do this.”

He turns on the recording equipment before he does anything else, checking the sound and reverb levels. The room isn’t soundproofed by any means, but she’s at work and John knows he has a specific window to get this recorded. The editing he can do later with noise-canceling headphones in, but the talking and wanking portion of this is on a deadline.

He squirts some lube into his palm (not a recent purchase; leftover from his last relationship, but it’s coming in handy right now - no pun intended) and closes his eyes as he starts to stroke himself, trying to mentally conjure up something.

The image comes to mind before he can stop it. She’s standing in the kitchen in one of his Scotland kits, her back to him as she balances on her tiptoes while she tries to reach for one of the bigger mugs for coffee. The way she’s angled, John can just see the barest hint of lacy panties peeking out as the jersey rides up and exposes part of her ass.

“You fucking tease.” The words leave his mouth before he can stop them and the fantasy version of his roommate turns around, giving him a sexy smile.

“So?” She smirks, setting down the mug and sauntering towards him. “What’s wrong, Johnny?” She coos, running a manicured finger down his chest.

John’s breathing picks up and he can’t stop stroking his cock. “I think you know exactly what’s wrong, baby,” he growls, his voice getting deeper. “You can’t just walk around this house in my shirt with nothing underneath and not expect consequences.”

She pouts, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “What are you gonna do - spank me?”

He lets out a loud moan at his fantasy roommate’s suggestion. “I think a spanking sounds like a fine idea. Bend over.” She shakes her head at him, and he grabs her by the wrist, manhandling her. “I said: bend over.”

She thrashes and kicks as he holds her in place, lifting up the jersey so he can get a full glimpse of the lacy panties she was wearing. “Johnny, please!” She begs, whimpering now because she knows she’s really in for it now. “I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Begging won’t get you anywhere, love,” he chides, lost in the fantasy. “Now, be a good girl or I’m gonna have to take these panties off.”

“No! Please! I’ll be good - I swear!”

“How about ten?” She nods. “Good girl. I want you to thank me after each one of them and beg me for the next - got it?”

“Y-Yes, John,” she breathes, swallowing hard. “Please...spank me.”

Instinctively, John brings his hand down to smack his thigh, the sound of flesh-on-flesh making it more realistic. He takes it all in - how she sounds when his hand makes contact with her ass and the way her back arches as she begs for more - and he’s even harder by the time her spanking is over.

“You did so good for me, love,” he praises, his accent thicker as he helps her up. “Did you learn your lesson?”

She sniffles, nodding as she struggles to meet his gaze. She didn’t cry during her spanking, but John knows he’s gotten her close to tears. “I...I did.”

“Don’t worry - I’ll still let you wear revealing clothes around our house, but you have to promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“If you’re going to dress like that, you have to be prepared to get down on your knees and suck me off.”

She sucks in a breath, biting down on her bottom lip as she weighs her options. Slowly, she sinks to her knees, reaching for his cock.

John almost lets her name slip past his lips the moment she puts her hand on his dick, but he turns it into a groan. It’s been so long since any woman has had their lips wrapped around his dick but the image of his roommate on her knees in front of him is so vivid that he doesn’t mind. He fantasizes about getting his dick sucked, stroking himself with one hand while the other plays with his balls as he imagines her hands in his place.

He holds out as long as he can, a hissed, “Fuck! I’m cumming!” crossing his lips before he spills his seed onto his stomach. When he’s done, he sits in the chair for a few minutes, coming down from his high. He hadn’t expected to fantasize about her like that, let alone cum to the thought of her sucking his dick after he spanked her, but it’s taken some of the edge off.

By the time she comes home, he’s lounging on the sofa, his noise-canceling headphones in as he puts the finishing touches on his first-ever audio file. Later that night, he uploads it to a couple sites, nervous yet excited.

[dovechim]

bam! you got scammed! 01 (m)

➾ 10k

➾ warnings: excessive mentions of cum, mentions of unsanitary usage of cum, squirting dildo, cam girl/ cam boy AU, male masturbation, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, slight slut shaming, unprotected sex, creampie 

➾  summary: some might say it's unethical. some might even say you’re a scammer. in this dog eats dog world, the line between right and wrong is a grey area indeed. but as a cam girl, there’s no such thing as work ethic, at least not to you. 

jeon jeongguk learns the hard way when he falls for your scam, but you can be sure he isn’t about to let you get away with this. 

➾ a/n: first of all, i truly apologise for using two gifs. i couldn’t, for the life of me, find a better gif of jeon when he’s pissed off and he does THAT thing with his tongue. you all know what I'm talking about. i hate myself so much because i had to look at so many pictures of jeon while searching for that second gif T___T

anyway, this is the first fic i’ve written where i stopped so many times and asked myself, what the hell am i writing? is this too weird?? but i am thankful for the friends i talked to and the encouragement they gave me :”) it got so long that i had to split it into two parts. the second part will be uploaded next week! 

♡♡♡

Blinking red hearts on the top left of your computer screen. A red dot indicating that your webcam is on and currently filming. Numbers that climb higher and higher by the second, accompanied by a never ending stream of comments in the sidebar.  And every now and then, a bright, happy chime that indicates someone has donated to your stream.

From your point of view, this is all that you see as you spread your legs wider, making sure the camera can capture all the mess that you’ve been making of yourself for the past hour. Your cute bunny hat slips down your forehead as you stroke the dildo in and out of yourself faster, watching the influx of comments praising you and urging you on.

cherry_chim013: whose cum is it this time? jackedasjeon: mine, of course jackedasjeon: it IS mine, right? handfulofhobi: not likely… we all know you don’t have that much cum considering how much u jerk off cherry_chim013: hahhaahfsd shit my dick slipped out of my hand jackedasjeon: SHUT UP jackedasjeon: how do u even jerk off with such a tiny dick?

“Oh come on guys… don’t fight,” you pout, sticking out your lower lip as you take the opportunity to rest your arm for a moment. “I’m sure jackedasjeon’s load is more than satisfying. I’d love to find out for myself one day…”

Normally, with the amount of comments that fly past, you have a hard time reading each and every one while trying to look sexy getting yourself off, but since these three subscribers happen to be your top contributors, their usernames are specially highlighted, and their comments are pinned in place for a few seconds.

handfulofhobi: does that mean it isn’t his?? cherry_chim013: HEY! my dick isn’t small, thank u very much

“I can vouch for cherrychim,” you giggle as you take out the dildo currently buried in your pussy. “I’d say he could give this one a run for its money?”

jackedasjeon: stop playing around babygirl jackedasjeon: i don’t care whose it is anymore jackedasjeon: i just want to see you cum

“Someone’s a little impatient tonight?” You raise an eyebrow at his demanding and insistent messages. “I haven’t even revealed whose cum it is yet… I got such a surprise when I went to pick up the package a few days ago. You gave me SO MUCH cum! Don’t worry, I didn’t spill any while transferring it in here.”

Your sentence ends with a giggle as you hide your face behind your hand, pretending to be embarrassed. Just then, a chime comes from your computer.

jackedasjeon has donated 500 coins!

You sit up a little straighter. ‘jackedasjeon’ has always been a consistent contributor to your streams, starting off with smaller amounts, but this is the most he’s ever given you. You give a little smooch to the camera as you sink the dildo into your pussy all the way, your face screwed up as it bottoms out inside you.

“Ah, it feels so much bigger today, I don’t know why,” you frown in confusion as you continue to fuck yourself. “Thank you jackedasjeon! Who knows… maybe you’ll get lucky next time? But for today, I’m very pleased to reveal that this huge load of cum that’s about to go in my pussy belongs to…”

You pause and reach for the shipping label that you had torn off, address and personal information scribbled out with black marker, leaving only the username visible. Showing it to the camera, you pause for a few seconds, making sure everyone has time to see what’s written on it.

“… handfulofhobi!” Your bright grin grows even wider as the subscriber conveys his delight with a hefty donation of 1000 coins. “Now now, don’t sulk, jackedasjeon. You too, cherrychim! There’s always a next time!”

You put the label away and lean closer to the camera as you start to whine and pant, inching closer and closer to your orgasm. In the midst of this, you read out several other random subscriber’s names in an effort to make everyone feel included. Then, your other hand reaches for the pump beside you, and as your walls clench around the dildo, you press it hard a few times, causing cum to spurt out of the head of the dildo and fill you up.

“It’s so thick… thank you hobi,” you giggle as you slow down your thrusting, reaching to redirect the camera in between your legs. The sheer amount of cum inside you makes everything so much sloppier, and soon the white liquid starts to leak out of you, turning frothy due to your thrusts. Still squeezing the other end to drain all the cum inside the dildo, you lazily push it in and out of your cunt. “You filled me up so well… thank you! I can only imagine what it’d be like to have you cumming inside me for real…”

You end off with a sigh, bringing your fingers down to play with your messy slit as you let the dildo slip out of you. Brushing your clit a few times, you make slightly tortured noises of overstimulation that your viewers love and enjoy, all in the name of putting up a show for them.

After a few minutes, you push the camera back so that your entire body is in the frame once more. You gather the sticky cum that stains your thighs, though it doesn’t do much more than spread it around. Pushing one finger into your mouth, you lick and suck the cum from it while maintaining eye contact with the camera, watching the comments suddenly surge.

While you read the comments, you reach for the dildo and suck around the head of it, squeezing the leftover cum inside it onto your tongue and playing with it, letting it drip down your chin onto your cleavage, covered by your pink lace bra.

cherry_chim013 has donated 400 coins! seojoonie has donated 100 coins! handfulofhobi has donated 800 coins! darkhorse015 and three others have donated a total of 400 coins! seojoonie: the best streamer on this fucking site seojoonie: you’d take my cock so well cherry_chim013: FUCK, that’s so hot cherry_chim013: i came all over myself handfulofhobi: oh my god handfulofhobi: it’d be my pleasure to fill u up in person baby jackedasjeon: push it inside you more babygirl jackedasjeon: don’t let a single drop go to waste jackedasjeon: if i were there i’d fuck it back into u

jackedasjeon: i’m still so hard

“Your pleasure is mine, cherrychim,” you giggle, resting your hand on your belly with your legs still wide open. “Today’s stream was made possible by the wonderful handfulofhobi… thank you so much! To everyone else, thank you for taking time to watch me. It was my pleasure,” you blow a kiss to the camera as you start to do your signature outro.

“As always, remember to like and subscribe to my channel if you liked what you saw! And turn on notifications so you’ll know every time I stream. For a chance to fill me with your cum next week, don’t forget to check out the link in the description box! Bye bye!”

You send a last kiss toward the camera before you turn it off for good, seeing the red light dim before you close your legs, grimacing at how sticky and disgusting you feel. Just as you are reaching for a baby wipe to clean up first, a notification pops up on your screen.

✉ jackedasjeon is requesting to send you a private message! ✉

Accept or Reject

You force a smile onto your face. Can’t reject one of your top subscribers, after all. They make up almost half of your monthly income from this site. The only reason why he’s able to even private message you in the first place. You sigh as you click accept, and a chat window pops up.

jackedasjeon is typing… jackedasjeon: i’m still hard… jackedasjeon sent you an image

♡

Jeon Jeongguk stares eagerly at his computer screen for a reply, grey sweatpants pushed down to his knees as he lounges at his computer table. Sure, he’d just stroked his cock for over an hour to his favourite cam girl, and that usually does the trick, but somehow today he can’t get it off. Too many horny bastards in the chatroom talking about how hard their dicks are and how much cum they’d pump her full of.

All just getting in the way of him enjoying his favourite cam girl. He really hit the jackpot when he stumbled upon your stream one lonely, horny weekday after class. You drew him in and captivated him immediately with your satin pink hair, glowing skin, wide, innocent eyes and always with that tantalising cleavage bouncing around on screen. No matter what kind of lewd things you did on screen, you always kept your corset top on, emphasising your tiny waist and making Jeon Jeongguk imagine how he’d wrap his hands around it as he makes your breasts bounce.

But more than that, watching your streams makes him feel like he knows you. Your soft voice, the sound of your laughter, and even when you aren’t doing anything lewd, just talking about your day or what you had for lunch, it makes him feel like he knows you in real life. Sometimes while listening to a lecture or working out, Jeongguk likes to turn on your streams and just hear the sound of your voice to keep him company.

He desperately hopes that you’ll entertain his request even though you officially ended the stream, and you limit your online activity to just that one time a week. Despite that, you easily maintain your position at the top of the leaderboard. It’s probably because you’re the first ever cam girl to offer such a service: each week, one lucky platinum subscriber gets a chance to send you a load (or two!) of cum and watch you fuck yourself full of it with your squirting dildo.

Jeongguk hasn’t had the chance, but after today’s stream, he feels more than hopeful. Just as he’s about to add on to the dick picture he sent, something appears on the screen.

meringuebaby is typing…

Jeongguk does a fist pump, his eyes lighting up in excitement. He rushes to delete the ‘i sent u my dick, pls respond?’ currently in the textbox.

meringuebaby: the stream not enough for you? meringuebaby: im not losing my touch am i…? T__________T

Jeongguk scrambles to type a reply back, his hands shaking. He can’t believe that you would even give him the time of day. You, the top streamer on this site, the hottest cam girl he’s ever seen in his entire life (ok, so he’s only watched your streams so far, but that doesn’t affect his ability to make objective judgements!), is private messaging him!

jackedasjeon: no no! never, babygirl jackedasjeon: i just needed a bit more help today… jackedasjeon: u’ll help me wont u? meringuebaby: of course i will… you’re my favourite subscriber ^^♡

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, and his cock throbs as he rushes to type a reply back onehanded. An onset of pictures interrupts him though, and he opens them one by one to savour them.

They are obviously just taken, and Jeongguk’s dick twitches at the thought of you taking these pictures just for him. The fact that no one else but him has access to these pictures, out of the millons of subscribers you have, makes him even harder. As he strokes his cock to images of your cum filled pussy, your perfect ass and your oh so innocent pout, he cums all over himself, pulling his shirt up just in time so he doesn’t stain it.

“Shit,” he swears under his breath as he pants, struggling to type a reply back to you.

jackedasjeon: my baby always knows exactly what i need jackedasjeon: i came so hard jackedasjeon: your pussy is so perfect

“… Jeon, how many times do I have to call you? Dinner is read- OH MY GOD!” Seokjin immediately covers his eyes and wails. “W-why didn’t you lock the god damn door? I need fucking first aid, your one eyed monster just massacred the entire human race—”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he reaches for his phone to snap a pic of his cum stained abs to send to you, along with a short message thanking you. He doesn’t even bother to hide his slowly softening dick as Seokjin continues to wail about how his mental health will now take a turn for the worse, his crops will die and he’ll get kicked out of school.

meringuebaby: welcome baby, your pleasure is my pleasure ^^ meringuebaby: wow, that’s a lot of cum… shame it had to go to waste T_________T meringuebaby: i really hope you’ll get lucky next week xoxo

meringuebaby is now offline.

Jeongguk is grinning at his screen like a fool, softened dick still out and sweatpants still pooled at his feet.

Yoongi is in the midst of carting a tray of food back to his room when he catches sight of this. Seokjin is still wailing and complaining in the hallway.

“meringuebaby again?” Yoongi glances at Jeongguk’s screen, not half as bothered by Jeongguk’s nudity as Seokjin is.

“Yeah! Hyung, she private messaged with me! Said I was her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk is practicing bouncing up and down with joy, his bunny smile lighting up his entire face.

Yoongi still seems unimpressed, though he does raise an eyebrow when he sees just how much Jeongguk has donated to your stream today. “What does she do again?”

“She lets one subscriber send her his cum every week. Then during her livestream she fucks herself with her squirting dildo and fills herself up with that subscriber’s cum,” Jeongguk rushes to explain, directing Yoongi’s attention to the leaderboard at the top of the page. “She’s the top streamer even though she only goes live once a week!”

Jeongguk takes the time to finally tuck himself back into his sweatpants and wipe the cum off his abs with a tissue as Yoongi scrutinises the page with a doubtful frown. “She… what now?”

“She lets—“ Jeongguk is about to go into his whole tirade again when Seokjin, finally unfrozen from his state of shock in the hallway, regains his senses when he no longer sees Jeongguk’s exposed dick.

“What?? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he laughs as he approaches cautiously, as if Jeongguk’s dick might spring out at any time now. “First of all, that’s disgusting as fuck. Second of all, um… STD risk? Hello??”

Yoongi remains quiet as Jeongguk jumps to his favourite streamer’s defense with a petulant whine. “Ah Jin-hyung!You might think it’s gross, but her thousands of subscribers obviously don’t. And meringuebaby isn’t dumb, of course she makes us send her our test results too!”

“She probably doesn’t even know you exist,” Seokjin rolls his eyes as he walks away.

“She does! She said I’m her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk calls out after the older man. Then he turns to Yoongi. “Isn’t she pretty?”

“She’s hot,” Yoongi admits with a simple nod. “The premise and all… very intriguing. I mean, lots of men love seeing cum filled pussy. But having the chance to have their cum featured on stream? She definitely hit a jackpot right there…”

Jeongguk beams with pride as he gazes at your profile picture at the top of the leaderboard.

“… but you’re totally getting scammed, dude.”

Jeongguk whips his head to turn and look at Yoongi. “What?”

Yoongi only laughs. “There’s no way she’s actually putting a stranger’s cum inside her like that. Even if she makes all of you send in test results, how can she be sure that they’re not fabricated? How can she be sure that it’s not someone else’s test results?”

“No way,” Jeongguk argues back with the utmost determination. “meringuebaby would never do that.”

Yoongi only sighs. When Jeongguk gets like this, there’s almost no way to convince him that he’s wrong. He’s one of the most stubborn people Yoongi has ever met. But that doesn’t stop Yoongi from saying his piece.

“Have you ever seen her actually pour the cum into her dildo?”

“…no, she always starts the stream right to the point. She’s already fucking herself when she comes online.” Jeongguk says in a small voice, but he defiantly pushes his chin up. “She probably doesn’t want to show us the boring stuff, that’s all!” And then a thought strikes him. “She always shows us the shipping label of the package!”

“That doesn’t prove anything, dude,” Yoongi only sighs at the youngest’s naivety. “She probably mixes up a batch of fake cum and loads it in. The consistency is way different, but you can’t tell when it’s in someone’s pussy. That’s how they do it in the porn industry too.”

Jeongguk is very quiet for a moment as he thinks about all the times he’s seen you fuck yourself with your beloved purple squirting dildo. It can’t be fake. You wouldn’t do something like that. Besides… besides! Jeongguk sits up straight with a sudden brain wave.

“Hyung!” He says with such a thunderous shout that even Yoongi, unbothered and unperturbed even if the sky were to come crashing down, jumps a little at the sheer volume. “The cum she uses every stream. They’re always different consistencies. Some thick, some super thin and watery, and some are just globs. If it was really fake cum, they’d all be the same consistency wouldn’t it? This just proves that they’re all from different men!”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. Jeongguk may be a cum connoisseur alright, but he isn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He pats Jeongguk’s back a few times with a pitying smile. “You know what… as long as you’re happy. As long as it makes you happy.”

Then he leaves the younger man still grinning happily at his computer screen.  Yoongi sighs as he hears the clink of coins signifying Jeongguk making yet another donation to your channel.

♡

“You ended later today,” Irene comments as you walk into the kitchen blindly, holding two cotton pads to your eyes. “Someone give you trouble?”

Ever the motherly figure, Irene has always been against you doing something like this. She always worries that someone might recognise you, especially since you’re one of the few top streamers to show your face openly on camera. But you argue back that there’s no way anyone could possibly recognise you. Not with the four hours you spend doing your makeup in the most ridiculous ways: heavy eye makeup, large, dramatic eyelashes with doll like circle lenses, custom made pink Sailor Moon wig. Most of the time you can’t even recognise yourself when you look in the mirror.

“Not really,” you say, not wanting to go into too much detail about the platinum subscriber who private messaged you, lest you freak Irene out even more.

At first, when she found out what you did as a side job (how could you have known that she’d be back from classes early?!) she had a complete meltdown over how “unsanitary”, “dangerous” and “scary” it was to be putting random strangers’ cum inside you. Not to mention how unsafe it was to be giving out your address on the internet! Until you told her you rented a PO box and showed her your stash of fake cum in the highest cupboard of your room, she was a sobbing mess wailing about how she was going to lose her one and only roommate to a nasty STD or worse, a horny, murderous kidnapper.

Now, sometimes she even helps you mix the cum for your streams when you get too busy to do it yourself. You would have thought that she would be too grossed out at the idea of what it was supposed to be, but she only treats it like a cooking project.

“Aren’t you afraid someone might figure it out one day?” Irene asks as she leaves dinner simmering on the stove to head for the fridge. “That this is all just a scam where you put on five push up bras, cover yourself in makeup, and where you don’t actually…”

Her voice trails off in embarrassment.

You peel off one side of the cotton pad, finding it completely stained with makeup and one false eyelash before peeling off the other. The five push-up bras in question are lying discarded on your bedroom floor, taken off the moment the stream ended.

“No one’s gonna find out unless they make a concerted effort to,” you say disinterestedly as you take off the rest of your makeup. “What I’m selling is an image, a fantasy. Those who believe in it won’t go about deliberately trying to ruin the very one thing that they believe in, the thing that gets them off and helps them escape from reality.”

You say this without an ounce of guilt whatsoever.

“If they really believe this—” you turn around and pluck your violet contact lens out of your eye to illustrate, “— is real, then they’re just fools. Sad, lonely fools.”

Technically, what you’re doing isn’t a scam, because do the guys who watch you still get to cum till their balls are empty? Yes.

Are you still fulfilling their fantasy of filling a stranger up with cum? Yes.

Before you started doing this, back when you had first signed up on the streaming website with only a few subscribers to your name, the top comment you always got was how the men wanted to fill you with their cum.

Why not give people what they want? That’s not a crime. You’re simply leveraging upon the laws of supply and demand (so econs class wasuseful after all!).

“Anyway, I just raked in another four hundred plus today,” you turn around bare faced again, scooping up your glasses and putting them on while grinning at your roommate. “You said you needed some textbooks on Monday right? They’re on me.”

“Oh ______... I can’t! It’s your hard earned money,” Irene hesitates as she scoops out the tofu stew she’d been slaving over for the past hour into bowls. “You should keep it for yourself.”

Irene always helps you with your streams, does your makeup and cooks you dinner even if she’s busy with school. This is the least you can do for her. You frown at her as she hands you a bowl of rice.

“Don’t even argue with me. I already ordered your books online. They’re coming in the next few days.”

Irene sits down opposite you as you start to dig in ravenously, her expression slightly worried, but she covers it up with a genuine smile of thanks. “Just be careful, _______.”

♡

You sit in front of your computer, textbooks open but attention elsewhere entirely.

A part of you slightly regrets being so generous to Irene as you stare at this semester’s tuition fee. Did it go up? Was the amount always this much?

You have barely enough in your bank account to cover it. Not to mention you’d have to miss out paying your portion of rent this month, on top of eating $1 kimbap for every meal if this goes on.

You sigh as you fold the letter in half. Just when you thought you could stop worrying about money so much, life just hits you in the face.

A chime comes from your computer as it lights up, and you click on the email notification from the cam girl website.

✉ jackedasjeon has sent you a private message!✉

Needing to take your mind off your worries for a second, you click to open his message.

jackedasjeon: when are you announcing the details for next week’s stream baby? jackedasjeon: i really hope I get lucky T____T jackedasjeon: i’ve been waiting for sooooo long T_____________T

Reading his messages makes you think about the dick picture he sent you. He’s clearly a well-built guy judging from the veins in his hands and arms, not to mention his generous cock, and last but not least, the cum stained abs that he was trying so very hard to show off. But the tone of his messages makes him sound like a whiny baby, and the thought of such a contrast actually makes you laugh.

Then, an idea strikes you as you click to your homepage and open a new announcement post.

hi cumnoisseurs ♡

how are my lovely icing chefs doing? ^___^♡ uwu

i was thinking of trying something new for next week’s stream! instead of picking a winner randomly (since I think most of you platinum subscribers have already had a chance once), there’ll be a bidding to determine the winner! owo

you can submit your bids on the discussion page! every night at 10pm, i will post the three current highest bidders ^_____^ bids are in increments of 250 coins! the entire bidding period only lasts for three days, so make sure you don’t forget!!

or i’ll be really sad that you wont have a chance to frost my cupcakes… qmq

i’m looking forward to receiving your icing bags uwu

lots of love,

meringuebaby ♡

As you read through your own post, you are cringing so hard from the overly sweet and cute tone that you almost throw up in your own mouth. The overuse of emoticons and ‘uwu’s has you want to wash your eyes out with saline. But this is what your viewers love, it’s the image you have cultivated for yourself, and you have to stick to it.

Sighing, you add a couple more emoticons here and there, deciding that there’s no such thing as overkill, before clicking on submit.

♡

Seokjin is having a nice, pleasant day whipping up some macarons; relishing in the peace and quiet. Having the entire kitchen to himself like this is rare. Usually, Jeon Jeongguk is in here making a mess with his protein shakes, or Min Yoongi is huddled in a chair eating whatever horrendous concoction made from three day leftovers in the fridge.

Seokjin shudders at the thought of that.

But at least with this; with this he can destress yet make some money on the side. It isn’t much, but taking small orders here and there has really added up over the weeks. He even has his own Instagram page where he features the best batches from his weekly bakes, and it really does a lot in attracting new customers.

He cracks one egg, separates the yolks from the whites, then moves to crack the second egg, tipping the yolk to one side of the shell and letting the whites fall into the pristine metal bowl beneath. All through this he can feel the serenity settle deep into his bones, he feels perfectly at ease. This is what he’s meant to do all his life; become the top pastry chef in Korea. His hands move to tilt the shell with the yolk just a little to make sure he gets every drop of egg white possible, when—

“Oh my GOD!!!!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!”

— his hand slips, and the yolk falls into the precious reservoir of egg whites down below, contaminating it beyond redemption as it breaks apart upon contact.

Seokjin breathes out in an attempt to control his rage.

“HOLY SHIT!” Jeon Jeongguk’s voice does not stop yelling.

Seokjin wipes his soiled hand onto a paper towel. With resolute steps, he makes his way to the stupid punk’s room, fully intent on teaching him a lesson he won’t soon forget. He shoves open Jeongguk’s door violently, completely forgetting what happened the last time he entered Jeongguk’s room without first knocking.

But luckily this time, he doesn’t end up with an eyeful of Jeongguk’s one eyed monster.

Instead, he finds Jeongguk prostate on the floor, on his knees with his forehead touching the ground as he sobs.

“Thank you thank you thank you…” he is mumbling as he— are those tears on his cheeks?!

Seokjin glances around in alarm. Has the stupid brat finally lost it? Had Seokjin been too harsh on him lately? But asking him to clean up after eating is definitely not too much—

In the midst of his fretting, Seokjin catches a glimpse of Jeongguk’s computer screen. He is currently on the cam girl from last time’s— he doesn’t recall a name— home page. Seokjin reads the top announcement, posted just five minutes ago.

And he is speechless.

“H-hyung… isn’t meringuebaby great?” Jeongguk can barely speak, his voice is choked with tears. “She’s actually giving me a chance now… I don’t have to depend on luck anymore! HYUNG!!! This time I really just might win!!!”

Jeongguk is looking at him with stars in his eyes.

Well, no really, it’s just the tears that are making his eyes shine like that.

“Sh-she calls you all… cumnoisseurs?” Seokjin stutters.

Jeongguk puffs out his chest. “Isn’t she the most creative?”

Seokjin can barely believe his eyes as he turns back to the post. “She wants you to… to… frost her cupcakes? With your...your— icing bags?”

With every word, Seokjin’s voice reaches a higher pitch, until his voice almost breaks on the last word. This is… this is an absolute insult to the pastry chefs who shed blood sweat and tears trying to hone their respected craft. Who spend hours in the kitchen trying to whip up that perfect batch of soft, fluffy and white meringues for their macarons, break their backs trying to ice their cupcakes flawlessly, only for all of it to be turned into some kind of lewd, sexual innuendo by some cam girl.

His face is red with rage. His ears are burning. Seokjin is sputtering with indignance. But he can’t find a single word to say.

“… do you even have that kind of money?” He finally spits out.

All at once, Jeon Jeongguk deflates like a soufflé taken out of the oven too soon.

Seokjin feels a little better seeing this. Who the hell does meringuebaby even think she is—

“I’ll find a way,” Jeongguk is wiping away his tears with one hand, brow set into a determined frown that has Seokjin feeling a little nervous. Whenever he gets this look, it’s a sign that Jeon Jeongguk is about to do something extremely stupid, incredibly reckless and most likely life-endangering. Like that time he fell for that online scam by a Nigerian Princess promising inheritance of the throne in exchange for a few dick pics.

“Wh-what are you going to do?” Seokjin glances at Jeongguk nervously as the youngest pushes himself to his feet with resolution, taking a seat in his desk chair once more.

“I’m going to…” Jeongguk takes a deep breath as he wipes the last of his tears away, clicking open a new browser in his computer. “I’m going to find a part-time job.”

Well. That’s certainly not what Seokjin was expecting. He lets out a sigh of relief. “As long as it makes you happy, Kook-ah. As long as you’re happy.”

Seokjin turns away with a niggling worry in the back of his mind as he hears Jeongguk swear under his breath.

“What the fuck? $250,000 for a kidney??”

♡

The guy beside you keeps sighing. All throughout the lecture, he is scrolling rapidly on his computer, obviously not taking any notes whatsoever. Normally, you would be more than a bit annoyed at being distracted, but today you’re not in any mood to listen either.

Yesterday night you posted the first three top bidders on your page. Strangely enough, and dare you say to your disappointment, jackedasjeon is nowhere to be found. He hasn’t even made a bid on your page. Currently at the top is cherry_chim013 with a bid of 2500 coins, and handfulofhobi is a few places down with a bid of 1,000 coins.

The lecturer announces a five-minute break, and the guy beside you sighs once more. You turn to him with a concerned look, peeking at his screen. “Something wrong?”

He turns to you in slight surprise, black curly hair ruffled and with sleep still in his eyes. “Wh- oh. Nothing. It’s just… why does finding a part-time job have to be so damn hard?”

He slouches in his seat and juts his bottom lip out. You feel a pang of sympathy for him. Before you discovered this cam girl gig, you were in his exact position. Scouring the school’s part time job listing for something that is manageable with a full load of classes, yet pays decently. It’s an almost impossible feat.

“Tuition fee, huh?” You sigh and pat his back in solidarity. “This time of the semester always comes around way too quickly.”

“Uh… yeah… tuition fee’s a goddamn piece of shit,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

“How much are you short?” You rest your chin on your hand.

“Um…” he bites his lower lip as he meets your eyes, and it strikes you that you’ve never seen such round, innocent doe eyes before. “About… $550 maybe? Or more? I… I don’t know.”

He seems to be in a sorry state— jittery and lacking sleep. Poor thing probably stayed up all night worrying about how to pay his fee; he’s so out of it right now that he can barely even remember how much more he needs. You can empathise with that all too well.

“Di- do you have any good part time jobs to recommend?” He suddenly turns to you, sitting upright in his seat.

You peer at his computer again, garnering his name from his login at the top of the school’s webpage. “Jeongguk, right?”

“Yeah—“ He follows your gaze to his screen, and then he looks at the cover of your notebook. “Any part time gigs to recommend, ______?”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t,” you say truthfully. In fact, this was the entire reason why you resorted to being a cam girl in the first place. It’s just impossible to get by with a part time job that pays so meagrely. “You could… you could tutor? I don’t know of any students you could teach though…”

“Forget it,” Jeongguk says glumly, sinking down in his seat. “Did you know the black market buys kidneys for $250,000?”

“Dude, that’s way too much suffering to go through,” you shake your head vehemently. “I mean, I could never do that.”

“You’re right,” Jeongguk sighs as he mutters to himself, “it’s impossible to get that done in 2 days anyway.”

“Why not try something less painful? Like donating blood!” You turn to him with a sudden brainwave. “It’s for a good cause, and its relatively painless too!”

Jeongguk only shakes his head. “I can’t. I was just getting over a flu earlier this week, and I’m still finishing up the antibiotics…”

You sink back into your chair, wracking your brain in thought. “Then… what about… I know this sounds crazy, but… donating sperm? Like, become a sperm donor?”

Jeongguk immediately rejects your idea. “What? No way. My sperm is way too precious for me to just pour it down the drain like that. Besides, if I do that, then I might not have enough for—“

He stops talking suddenly, and his face grows really red. The tips of his ears follow suit, and you think it’s actually kind of adorable, despite how he seems to be a little simple minded.

“Awww. Does someone want to be a daddy someday?” You grin at him, watching his face grow even redder. “You’ll still have enough sperm even if you donate! Did you know your balls make several million sperm a day— about 1,500 a second??”

Jeongguk is a choking, stuttering mess as he turns away from you and your wholesomeness. There’s a whole other reason why he treasures each and every drop of his cum, and definitely not for the reason you think. Though he wouldlike to have kids someday, but that is entirely besides the point.

You are still going on and on about how much sperm he has in his balls right now, and to his horror, hearing you talk about his balls and his sperm and his cum is actually making him grow harder and harder by the second… if he doesn’t do something to shut you up, soon he’ll have a raging boner right in the middle of a lecture.

“I’ll consider it!” He blurts out, and you stop mid-sentence.

“See, I told you it was a great idea!” You are all smiles, patting him on the back. “Let me know how it goes, friend!”

You grin at him, genuinely happy that he decided to consider your suggestion.

And that’s how you and Jeon Jeongguk become friends.

♡

jackedasjeon’s bid is still nowhere to be seen on the second night. You’re getting a little more worried now, especially since the cherry_chim013’s top bid has now been replaced by kingcrabjoonie with 3000 coins.

You would have thought that he definitely wouldn’t miss out on this chance, seeing as how desperate he’s been lately. Clicking over to his profile out of curiosity, you see that he was last online a few hours ago, but yet he still hasn’t made any bids. Perhaps he’s waiting for the very last day?

Or maybe he’s just some poor lonely guy who doesn’t have that much money at his disposal in such a short notice. A part of you begins to feel bad for making your subscribers pay instead of holding a lucky draw like you always do, but you desperately need the cash.

Besides, doing this would weed out all the broke college students and leave only those with a stable income. You’re well aware that guys your age, guys in the same class as you even, watch your streams, but from a very practical point of view, these guys tend to donate in small amounts, and if you depend on them for a living, you’re out of luck.

After lingering on his profile for a few more minutes, you sigh and close the page entirely, pushing all thoughts of jackedasjeon out of your mind as you force yourself to concentrate on your five-page paper due tomorrow.

♡

“Hey, did you see Jeon today?”

Yoongi plucks out one side of his earphones, currently in the midst of rearranging one of his songs, when Seokjin pokes his head into the room. He glances at the clock and realises that it’s almost dawn. Yoongi rubs his eyes sleepily and stares at the older man, dressed in workout gear and presumably about to head to the gym and pretend to work out, return drenched in sweat (read: splash himself with water in the washroom at the gym) and call it a day.

“Don’t know. He didn’t come back again?” Yoongi saves his work once, twice, and three times.

“No. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about what that brat does, but…” Seokjin’s voice trails off. “He’s up to something. I just know it. Last I heard was that he needs some six hundred bucks for that cam girl website or whatever—“

“He’ll be fine,” Yoongi says through a barely concealed yawn. “He’s not a kid, you know. Even Jeon Jeongguk has his limits too.”

“I know, but…” Seokjin’s voice is interrupted by the jingling of keys, and then a door opening and closing.

“There, see? He’s back in one piece,” Yoongi points his chin toward the sound of Jeongguk rustling about in the living room, turning back to his computer and pressing play again.

“Yeah, on the outside, but who knows what he’s missing on the inside?” Seokjin mutters to himself as Jeongguk drags his feet down the hallway, looking much more worse for wear than when he started out that morning.

“What happened to you?” Seokjin asks, half dreading the answer. “You didn’t… you still have both your kidneys right? Your liver? Your heart?”

“Your brain?” Yoongi pipes up, not even sparing a glance from his screen. “Oh wait. I forgot you didn’t have that one in the first place.”

“Hyung, you’re the one who doesn’t have a heart,” Jeongguk retorts back, but there’s no bite to his bark at all. The youngest can’t stop yawning, and his eyes can’t stay open for more than a few seconds. “I got it. Hyung, I got it.”

“Got what?” Seokjin asks, flabbergasted, but then Jeongguk pulls out a thick wad of cash. There must be at least $300 there. “Oh my god. You robbed a bank.”

Yoongi glances at what Jeongguk is brandishing proudly for a brief second. “You idiot. If he robbed a bank, he would have stolen way more than that.”

“I got an advance payment at my part-time job, and went to ask for a student loan,” Jeongguk says, his eyes opening wide enough with his signature sparkle for just a moment. “Boss made me work the graveyard shift even though no one in their right mind would want to buy furniture in the middle of the night before he would give me next month’s pay.” Jeongguk is puffing his chest out as he counts his money, grinning uncontrollably. “I can’t believe it was that easy. All my problems are solved!”

Seokjin watches the youngster kiss the wad of cash in his hands. “Kook-ah… you know that loans have to be repaid, right…?”

Just then, Yoongi speaks at the same time, tilting his head towards Jeongguk with mild interest. “Aren’t you still short? The highest bid on meringuebaby’s page as of last night is now 3000 coins. Meaning you need $600.”

Yoongi is casually examining his fingernails as he says this, and Seokjin turns to him in confusion. “Wait, how do you know what the top bid is?”

Seokjin’s mind is racing, and he comes to only one conclusion.

“Fuck, the bid only closes tonight and it’s already $600??” Jeongguk groans as he stares wide-eyed at the stack of cash in his hands. “I only have just enough, provided it doesn’t go up any further.”

“I could lend you some first,” Yoongi says with his eyes still on his screen, and Jeongguk lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Really, hyung? Oh my god. You have no idea how much it would mean to me!” Jeongguk is all smiles once more.

The conversation is moving faster than Seokjin can comprehend.

“On one condition,” Yoongi turns around with his arms crossed. “I want to send her my cum too.”

“No way!” Jeongguk explodes in a ball of indignance. “The rules are clear. Only one person’s cum and it has to be from the person who won the bid! That’s cheating, hyung!!!”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Yoongi shrugs indifferently as he turns back to his computer. “It’s not my loss.”

“I could never do that to meringuebaby,” Jeongguk says with clenched fists as he places one over his heart. “It would be like lying to her!”

Yoongi only snorts and mumbles something about being ‘totally whipped’ under his breath that Seokjin can’t quite catch. But then, all of a sudden, Jeongguk is turning to him with those puppy eyes and a pouting lower lip.

“Hyung, you have cash, don’t you? Can’t I borrow some? I promise I’ll pay you back,” Jeongguk says with reverence.

“I… um… I don’t get what’s…” Seokjin can only stutter, entirely overwhelmed by the past few minutes to form a coherent response. Yoongi visits this seedy little cam site too?? This meringuebaby person is earning just how muchas a scam girl??

“I’ll wash your dishes for three months, even during your baking practices,” Jeongguk throws in desperately.

And that seals the deal. As much as Seokjin loves baking, he absolutely hates the washing up. Not to mention when there are multiple icing tips, multiple mixing bowls, multiple trays… just thinking about it makes him feel exhausted already.

On top of that, he does have a rather large order coming up… having Jeongguk do the washing would make things so much easier.

So against the more rational part of his brain, he sighs and takes out his phone. “How much more do you need?”

♡

On the last night, when you log on to check the bids at exactly 10pm, your heart skips a beat when you see who is occupying the top slot.

“Oh my god, that crazy bastard really did it,” you mutter to yourself when you see that the top bid is way ahead of the second place winner. jackedasjeon had only placed his bid just two minutes ago, and also ensured that no one else could outdo him by bidding 4000 coins.

While a part of you is overjoyed at the extra income, you also wonder why someone would bid that much more than necessary. Perhaps this jackedasjeon person is really desperate… who are you to judge? You push the thought aside and make a new post to officially announce him as the winner, and see that the coins are transferred into your account. Then you send him a private message with details such as the address of your PO box that he should send the package too, as well as a few other administrative matters like how to securely wrap his package, what date he should send it by, and other things including the need for him to get officially tested and screened for any diseases and include the results in the package.

Not like you’ll actually need it anyway, but all the better to add to the realism.

Once you click send, you navigate to your account page to cash out all of your hard earned coins, and almost immediately, your phone lights up with a notification from your bank. You’re saved. Thank god for jackedasjeon.

You sigh in relief as you start to write a cheque to pay off your tuition fees.

♡

Jeon Jeongguk is over the moon. He is overjoyed. He is skipping all the way from class back home.

Throwing open the door, he can’t contain his excitement as he heads straight to his room. He opens the private message from you again just to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. The test results should be sent to him by email by today; he’d gone to get tested a few days ago just to make sure that there wouldn’t be any delay. He managed to get a few large, airtight vials as instructed, bubble wrap, and a sturdy cardboard box. The only thing left is…

Jeongguk sighs as he leans back in his chair, unzips his jeans, and starts to look for his favourite porn.

Which leads him to you, of course. More specifically, he begins browsing through some of your highlights videos on your page just to get himself in the mood. Just as he clicks on one where he remembers that you’re talking about your Sailor Moon outfit, he pauses.

Does he really want to do this?

A stupid question, granted all that he had gone through in order to secure the winning bid. But that aside, Jeon Jeongguk pauses. He finally has the chance to send the girl of his dreams something, anything at all. Does he really want to send her a vial of his cum? meringuebaby deserves to be treated way better than that. After all the hours of company and relief that you’ve provided him, Jeongguk feels like it just wouldn’t do to be this impersonal.

And in a way, Jeongguk does feel as if he owes you a word of thanks, at the very least. You made the past year of college slightly more bearable. Every week he has something to look forward to, someone who understands him, someone who makes him feel a little less lonely. Someone who helps him get through the hell that is college.

Then, Jeon Jeongguk realises he doesn’t really want to send you a vial of his cum like some weirdo. He just wants you to know how much he admires you, and sending you cum in the mail definitely isn’t the way to do that.

So he zips himself up again and reaches for some paper and a pen instead. If Yoongi ever found out he was about to do something this lame and sappy, Jeon Jeongguk feels like he would just die, so he double checks and triple checks that the door is locked, before he begins to pour out his feelings to meringuebaby on paper.

An hour passes, two hours, even, Jeongguk has lost track. But five sheets of paper later, he is finally satisfied with the end product as he puts everything into an envelope and drops it into the box. He puts away the unused vials into a drawer, wondering if he’s being an idiot for passing up on this chance.

But no. More than anything else, he wants you to know how he feels about you. How grateful he is that you do what you do. He doesn’t want to be jerking off and just sending you his cum like that. He wants you to know just how much you’ve helped him get through the not so good days. And what better opportunity than this? Maybe you’ll be so touched you’ll even read out his letter during your stream.

He nods to himself, confident of his decision as he seals the cardboard box.

♡

“You got another package,” Irene sings out as she knocks on your door.

You click pause on your online lecture to open the door, only to find your roommate holding a box in her arms.

“This one’s unusually light,” Irene mentions as she comes into your room, setting the box down on your desk. “Should we open it and check what’s inside?”

But you wave her away. “Nah, why bother? It’s gonna be nasty as hell. Even I don’t want to see the stuff. Just tear off the label and toss the package. Or just leave it by the door. I’ll dispose of it properly when I head out.”

“Is this the one that helped you pay your tuition?” She asks curiously as she begins to carefully tear the label off the box. “This ‘jackedasjeon’?”

“Yeah, he’s a platinum subscriber, but he’s never won before,” you say as you bring the box outside and leave it by the door. Come to think of it, it is unusually light as compared to the previous packages that you received. But it can’t be anything much, seeing as you’re going to toss it out anyway, so you don’t think much of it as you head back to your room to get a headstart on preparing for your stream.

“Should I do something special? He paid a lot for this,” you muse as Irene starts to get out the supplies to help you mix today’s batch of fake cum. “I was thinking of throwing in a freebie. You know, I saw one streamer selling the water that she soaked herself in while doing her stream. She bottled it up and added glitter and some food dye or some shit like that. Made it look like unicorn tears and called it her ‘Gamer Girl Bath Water’.”

Irene wrinkles her nose as she pours out some lube from a giant 2 litre bottle and starts adding some water to it to adjust the consistency. “That’s gross. I know I’m saying this as I’m literally mixing cum right now, but still.”

“You gotta give her credit where credit is due though,” you say at your reflection in the mirror as you tie up your hair and start your skincare routine first. “She’s creative as hell. Why didn’t I think of that first? Now I’ll have to come up with something else. Like selling my worn underwear or something.”

“Are you crazy?” Irene turns to you with her spoon still dripping onto the counter. “That’d cost you an arm and a leg!! You’ll barely break even like that.”

“You’re right…” you sigh in resignation. “What does a girl have to do these days to make some money??”

Irene is silent for a moment as she concentrates on adjusting the texture the way you taught her the very first time, while you put on your base layer of makeup.

“Is this okay? Too thin? What kind of cum do you think jackedasjeon would have?” Irene asks thoughtfully as she scoops some of the mixture onto her spoon and lets it drip back into the container.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you reply, brows furrowed in concentration as you focus on getting your eyeliner just right. “I guess he seems like he might have a pretty thick load? He does have a nice cock. And nice arms. But I guess he can be kind of childish sometimes. Maybe thin it out a little more.”

Irene suppresses a giggle as she does as she’s told. Every time the two of you cook up that week’s batch, you always play a guessing game and make up facts about the mystery man whose cum you’re supposed to be playing with that week.

“Come help me with this,” you turn from the mirror with your eyes closed, holding out your false eyelashes. Irene is the only one who can get them on you, and without them, your disguise would not be complete.

“I have no idea what I’d do without you,” you sigh as Irene is putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup an hour later. “Where would I find a roommate who mixes fake cum for me, and dresses me up to scam men on the internet?”

Irene giggles as she pats your cheek with a grin. “All done. Now go and earn us some money, meringuebaby.”

♡

“Hello!! I missed you guys so much! How are my cumnoisseurs today?” Your voice, bright and cheery, fills the entire room as Jeon Jeongguk settles into his desk chair, but he can’t seem to sit still. He is brimming with excitement, his heart is racing and it feels as if it might explode out of his chest.

You look beautiful as usual, dressed with your pink wig and Sailor Moon outfit, waving your star tipped wand about as you do your usual greetings, reading out the names of your top subscribers. Today you are surrounded by cupcakes with pastel pink, power blue, and snow white frosting on three tiered cake stands, and you reach for one cupcake, scooping a bit of the icing onto your finger and sucking on it.

“Aren’t they pretty?” You are scooping even more icing onto your finger, savouring the sweetness on your tongue with a cute little moan. Jeongguk feels the blood shoot straight to his cock upon hearing it. “I have some pink macarons here too! I decided to get these because I was craving something sweet today… don’t they look good?”

Jeongguk rushes to type his comment, adjusting himself with one hand as his jeans grow even tighter.

“I’m even sweeter than these?” You giggle as you read his comment, and Jeongguk feels a surge of adrenaline as he watches you wink at the camera as you continue. “I think that’s my line, jackedasjeon. I must admit that I was a little impatient and I had a taste of you earlier… that’s why I was craving something sweet!”

Jeongguk feels his heart seizing up as his eyes are glued to the screen. The words don’t really register in his brain as he watches you bounce up and down in excitement, and then he is distracted by your ample cleavage instead. You would have read his letter by now, right? Is that why you look so happy?

cherry_chim013: you should do a live where you’re in the kitchen cherry_chim013: wearing just an apron cherry_chim013: hehehehe

cherrychim is one perverted fucker. But Jeongguk can’t say that he wouldn’t like to see that visual either. He watches with a stupid goofy smile on his face as you talk a bit more about your day and eat a few cupcakes, getting some of the icing on the corner of your mouth, and Jeongguk wishes he could reach through the screen and help you wipe it off.

“I brought a whisk with me today! I just thought it would fit with today’s theme,” you brandish the utensil and wave it around. “I tried it on myself earlier and… it felt really nice as a massager. At the end of the stream, I’ll be giving it away to this week’s winner!”

Jeongguk watches as you start to use the whisk to play with yourself, running it up and down your body as you play with your own breasts over your bra. He is entranced and absorbed. You push your skirt up to reveal your panties that already have a wet patch on them, and start to rub yourself with the whisk over them. Your cute little moans and whines are getting him harder and harder, and when you push your panties to the side and start to finger yourself, Jeongguk groans audibly.

“Let’s really start the party now, shall we?” You pause with a glance at the camera as you lick your own fingers clean. “This week’s winner is jackedasjeon! Thank you so much for your… generous donation, it was well received!”

You brandish your faithful purple squirting dildo, and accidentally squirt some of the cum onto a nearby cupcake.

“Oops! How careless of me!” You gasp as you pick up the cupcake and scoop up the icing, with the cum on it, and put it in your mouth. “Tastes like salted caramel now,” you giggle.

Jeongguk swears under his breath as he watches you taste the cum stained cupcakes. He was never really into foodplay, but watching you like this, he just might reconsider.

“It’s supposed to go inside me, not on the cupcakes!” You are giggling as you scold yourself. “Sorry about that, jackedasjeon. But since you sent me so much, there’s more than enough cum to go inside me.”

At first, Jeon Jeongguk is far too horny to hear what you actually said. But after a few moments, the words register in his mind, and he frowns in confusion.

“Wh-what?” Jeongguk says aloud even as you start to suck the head of the dildo, squirting some of the cum out messily around your lips as you go. “But I didn’t… how can this be?”

There must be some sort of mistake. Jeongguk didn’t even jerk off that day, let alone send you any cum in that package, so how can you still be streaming and thanking him like this? He opens the drawers at his desk to make sure that the vials are still there. They are sitting at the back of his desk, untouched from the last time he left them.

You are showing the camera ‘his’ cum now on your tongue, making a great show of playing with it and swallowing it. After a bit, you start to tease yourself with it, playing with your clit and as Jeongguk watches the cum drip onto your cunt, his erection just dies down completely.

As if to confirm his suspicions, he watches the cum drip down your chin, and it look suspicious. Even if he had somehow mistakenly sent you his cum, the cum that you are playing with right now is most definitely fake. In fact, it looks just like lube wth some water added to thin it out.

If he didn’t send you any cum… and you are still streaming as if you received it in the mail…

This can only mean one thing.

Jeon Jeongguk has been scammed.

♡♡♡

[imagine-loki]

Blushing in His Colours, Chapter 3

TITLE: Blushing in His Colours CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 3 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being a Daddy Dom, his adores and loves his little, worships the ground she walks on. She has vaginismus, but he couldn’t be more supportive with her. RATING: M

When Loki saw Mia the following day, a blush instantly graced her cheeks, making him grin. He went over to her and kissed her cheek in greeting, making the others around them all ‘oooooo.’ He glared at them in return.

‘The date went well last night then?’ Clint asked with a smirk.

They were in the kitchen having breakfast before starting their day.

‘A gentleman never tells.’ Loki said as he held his head high.

Mia went to sort out her breakfast, unable to stop blushing at being the main focus of the conversation within the team.

‘You’re far from a gentleman.’ Stark snorted.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him and folded his arms over his chest. ‘I’d beg to differ.’

Mia had her back to the group as she poured milk into her cereal. But she did speak up. ‘Loki was the perfect gentleman last night. More than rest of you are, that’s for sure.’

Loki grinned and looked rather smug. The team all laughed.

‘Oh no, his mischievousness is already rubbing off on you.’ Tony said as he put his face in his hands, then he looked at Loki. ‘Do NOT corrupt our sweet and innocent Mia!’

When Mia turned around, she met Loki’s gaze and he winked at her with a mischievous smirk. ‘I am making no promises.’

Because Mia’s job was to keep up their social media appearance, it meant she was often right in the action. Taking pictures of the team ‘behind the scenes’ providing it didn’t compromise any mission, as the fans loved to see what the superheroes got up to at times.

So she found herself in the lab with Loki, Tony, Bruce, Fury and Vision. She was typing some stuff up on her laptop in the corner, Loki kept glancing in her direction, unable to stop looking at her.

‘Oi, stop staring at your new girlfriend and concentrate!’ Tony remarked as he tossed a pen at Loki, but with his quick reflexes Loki was able to catch the pen before it hit him, glaring at Tony.

Mia had heard and she couldn’t help the big smile that spread across her face. She tried to concentrate on her work though, even if she could feel the God’s eyes on her often.

Later on, Mia disappeared to get something to eat from the kitchen. When she returned, she had food and drinks for everyone. Including Loki’s favourite flavour of muffins that she had baked a few days ago. When Loki thought about it, she often went out of her way for other people, especially him. She always seemed to get his favourite drink or food and would always beam happily when he thanked her.

The following day Mia was down on the training floor on the benches, watching Thor, Steve, Natasha and Clint training. She was taking a few pictures and posting onto their media. She was thinking about heading off, but Loki entered the hall and she decided to stick around for a bit. Smiling like mad when he waved at her.

He had his full armour on, like Thor, and jumped in to start training. Everyone knew he was deliberately showing off because Mia was watching, even she knew. But she found it flattering, and was always impressed with his skills.

But he was caught unaware.

He had just tricked the rest of them using his illusions and pinned Thor down with a dagger at his throat. When he got up off Thor, he looked over to Mia. He winked at her and grinned, but that’s when he was blindsided by Natasha getting him in a headlock with her ridiculously strong thighs and knocking him down to the ground with a loud thud.

Thor, Clint and Steve all burst out laughing. Mia laughed too and put her hands over her mouth. Loki got up, rather flustered as he flicked his hair back from his face and wiped the dust from his arms. He looked over at Mia sheepishly.

He wandered over towards her as she gathered her things up and stood to meet him.

‘Impressive.’ She smiled up at him.

Loki chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. ‘Aside from the end.’

‘Still impressive. Not many would be able to get up unscathed from being taken down by Natasha.’

‘True. And I was a little distracted by something rather beautiful.’ Loki reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, then trailed his fingers along her jawline.

‘There’s uhm… the monthly Avengers interview coming up. I was wondering if you fancy doing it?’ She asked, giving him puppy dog eyes.

It was something new she had started doing, Tony was the first one last month. A small five-minute interview that Mia posted. Just to give fans a little personal insight into the team.

‘Of course. Give the fans who they really want.’ Loki smirked.

‘You do have quite the fanbase, actually.’ Mia laughed.

‘I do?’ Loki frowned, but was intrigued.

‘Oh yeah. They call themselves Loki’s army. Quite the army too.’ She grinned.

Loki titled his head, but he did look a little smug. ‘Well, they have good taste… Are you in my army?’ He raised an eyebrow.

Mia smirked, deciding to play a bit. Feeling brave again. ‘I dunno. Maybe I’m team Hulk.’ She shrugged.

Loki’s mouth parted in mock shock. ‘Well, I will need to work harder to get you on my team.’

‘Sooo… Is that a yes for the interview?’

‘Of course. Anything for you.’

-

Mia had asked Loki to meet her before breakfast the next morning in the living room, to do the interview. It would give her time to come up with some good questions.

But Loki decided he wanted to do the interview somewhere more private. So he went along to her room an hour before he was due to meet her.

He knocked and heard Mia call out to just come in. When he entered though, Mia was surprised to see it was Loki.

‘Loki! Hi.’ She stammered quickly, surprised.

Loki was also surprised, she was in her pyjamas. Light blue, with cute baby penguins on them. But his first thought was how adorable she looked, with her messy hair too.

‘Oh gosh! I was expecting Wanda. Sorry, I uh… Let me just get changed real quick.’ She said in fluster, practically sprinting into her bathroom.

Loki smiled and waited until she was dressed. That’s when his eyes were drawn to what she was watching. He was a little confused when he noticed it was on the cartoon channel. But he didn’t think overly much of it, until he then spotted something peeking out from underneath her pillow. Curious, he went over and had a look, it was a colouring book of Disney characters.

His first thought was, did she have a secret child here? But he shook that off, knowing it was ridiculous. He was slightly confused as to why she would have a colouring book. Then he just thought perhaps it was something she enjoyed doing in her down time.

Loki stepped away from her bed, just as Mia emerged from the bathroom. She was looking embarrassed as she stuffed her pyjamas away in a drawer.

‘Sorry… I uhm, should probably check who’s there first.’ She said sheepishly.

‘Not at all. I should’ve said it was me.’ Loki smiled and walked over to her, he rubbed her arm and then leaned down to kiss her on the lips, making her squeak a little and blush so hard. ‘I was rather hoping we could do the interview somewhere private? The others will be a distraction in the living room.’ He chuckled.

‘Yeah, sure. Where would you prefer?’ Mia asked, still slightly flustered from the innocent kiss.

Loki shrugged. ‘Here, if that suits you? Or we could go to my room if you’d rather?’ He asked.

‘Here is good.’ Mia nodded and went over to her desk, clearing some space.

During the interview, Loki couldn’t help but be besotted with her. It was a good excuse for him to be able to just stare at her without being called out on it from the others. He kept his flirting to a minimum, knowing this was going online.  

Mia managed to keep her cool when she asked him questions, she had set up a camera to film him so it was more personal for the fans. They went nuts over the first one with Tony, so she hoped this one would be an even bigger hit.

Once it was uploaded, Mia showed Loki some of the comments. His fangirls were going crazy over it. Especially when Mia had asked him what he thought about having a fanbase. He’d replied in a charming way, saying he appreciated having so much support.

He read one comment: Heck, Loki can rule over me any day! I would kneel for him without being told to!

‘Quite a few say similar. Your, uh, attempt at ruling Earth is all over Tumblr and YouTube. Many have made fan videos out of them.’ Mia said with a laugh.

‘Really? I thought everyone would have been repulsed by what I did.’

‘Not everyone. I mean, I’d kneel for you.’ Mia said without thinking as she shrugged. Then she realised what it was she had just said. Her eyes widened.

‘Oh, really?’ Loki growled a little, leaning down closer to her as he was stood behind her, while she sat on the chair at her desk.

Mia cleared her throat and tried to ignore the fact she had just openly admitted somewhat a fantasy to Loki and that his breath was hot against her neck.

‘This interview is already a huge hit, more so than Tony’s.’ She said to try and change the subject. But Loki spun her chair around so she had to face him as he put his hands on the arms and trapped her in.

‘No changing the subject, pet.’ He chuckled at her doe in the headlights look.

‘I… wasn’t… really… I just don’t know what to say after that.’ She blurted out nervously, her eyes skittishly moving all over his face, unsure on where to look.

But she was saved by the knock. Wanda had arrived, which Mia was slightly relieved for. Though she had a feeling Loki would try and bring it up again later.

He left the girls to it, heading back to his room.

His mind kept wandering to what he’d found in Mia’s room. Or what he’d seen. He went to his laptop and sat down, after thinking for a moment he went to google to see if he could find some answers.

After some researching, he wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up on a kink site. But there he was, reading all about a Daddy Dom/little dynamic.

Some of the characteristics of a little suited Mia to a T. It really got him wondering if she was in fact a little. He then realised that while thinking of her in this kind of way he was slightly aroused.

He looked through a Daddy Dom’s characteristics and was surprised to find he fit a lot of them. When he thought about it, being in that kind of relationship with Mia was very appealing to him. And he thought how it kind of made sense why one girl actually called him Daddy during sex once… Perhaps he just oozed Daddy Dom appeal, he thought smugly.

But he now had to figure out for certain if Mia was into this kind of thing… or if it was just a coincidence. He could of course just ask her outright, but he didn’t want to scare her off if that wasn’t something she was into. He wasn’t going to lie, now he knew about the subject more and had thought about it, he would be a bit disappointed if she wasn’t…

‘Hmm…’ He tapped his lower lip in thought, deciding how to proceed.

After a lot of mulling it over, he decided that trying to coax it out of her naturally was going to be his best route.

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Seven

~sweet home~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warning: mild language

words: 4.7k

summary:  Home is where your bros at right? right.

a/n: I actually like this chapter, shocker. i hope you enjoy 

ao3

----------------

Minho stared at the video file sitting on his computer, on the familiar application site that had been haunting his mind for the past couple years. The debate he found himself in with himself on whether or not to submit another application, had become his default subject of thought for much of the past few weeks. All building up to right now. Something had tipped the scale though. Something that reminded him if he didn't submit an entry this year, that he might as well have given up on his one dream. His one goal. The only thing that had been keeping him motivated through university. So once again he found himself rationalizing, and knew that if anything he had to try, at least just one last time. 

Upload complete, Thank you for your entry!

Minho sighed loudly. He had sent it in. The first part of the application. It was just a basic dance routine supplied by the academy. He had practice and recorded it all within one sitting. Having been a part of a dance crew for much of the past year had allowed him to quickly pick up choreography and perfect it. The other reason being that he wanted more than anything to get the overbearing presence of the audition tape out of his head space as soon as possible. A heavy sigh left his lips as he laid back down on the studio floor, not too long after a ping of his phone revived just enough for him to check his messages.

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

2:50 pm

Minho-hyung!

I hope your day has been going well~

Sadly, no updates on when ill be free :/ 

They’re working us hard for the debut

It’s alright Ji, work hard!

You better be taking care of yourself tho...

4:03 pm (new)

Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)

{link attached}

I hope you like it!!!!

Oh, no i havent

I’ll give it a listen ^-^

As of late it wasn’t uncommon for Jisung to send the older songs he thought he would like. Always saying some cheesy line that was so blatantly sweet it made Minho flustered everytime. This time of course was no exception. 

Ping.

HYUNG THAT EMOJI

Asjdnjsfma

I knew I was rubbin goffon you 

Kkkkk

Dont get too ahead of yourself 

atleast I can still type coherent sentences

~goffon~ 

Boo :p

Why Jisung was so persistent about sending him songs was lost on the older, but it was a sweet reminder that someone was thinking about him. It had been a while since Minho had even imagined that someone took a few minutes of their day to actually consider how he was doing. It didn't quite make sense to him that suddenly out of nowhere, there was his boy, man, person, who purposefully took the time to dedicate brain cells to his existence. Wild. 

Minho hurriedly clicked the link to the song that Jisung had sent. It was an upbeat song, with a strong but subtle strumming of a guitar to keep the song’s pace just quick enough to be comfortable. “There's no one else that could ever hold me like you do.” The lyrics were in the realm of positive longing and companionship, but the dips into minor chords and tone of the singer created a mood of desperation. More than anything, the song brought forth a story to Minho. One that he could see with his eyes close and feel his body wanting to move to. 

A smile stretched across his face, as he rose from his spot on the floor, dusting off the dull ache and pressure in his shoulders from having just finished a routine not even 10 minutes ago. 

“But I know that I'd be crazy, Not to wanna be the one to keep you up all night”

Woah there Jisung, at least take me out to dinner first. He made a mental note to tease the younger later about his “Made me think of you :)” line later. Already stretching and drawing a plan in his head, Minho took his phone and saved the song, pressing the repeat button twice, to allow the guitar chords and chorus harmonies to carry on endlessly. A smirk stretched into an excited smile. Not wanting to jinx himself, a shy “finally” was whispered in the back of Minho’s mind at the surge of inspiration, but not spoken aloud just yet.

---

Flashing lights, heavy makeup, hot clothing, and too much fog from the smoke machine is all Jisung had thought about for the last couple hours. 3RAHCHA was in their last photo shoot for their debut. The concept photos would be released later through the week, slowly revealing the three members and their group as officially signed with JJP ent. 

The multicolor lights had been running through his vision for so long that as soon as he walked into their Green Room, he had almost forgotten what color everything actually was. Looking in the mirror he saw the blonde highlighted streaks in his hair had settled nicely, slightly slicked back. The stylist had surely done their jobs well. Painting the three rappers up to look less like the nightcrawlers they were, and into something that leather and fishnet clad superstars might look like was definitely a challenge. Jisung had his makeup done just enough to give his eyes a smoky look to them, and grey contacts to emphasize his gaze. The ensemble he had on looked like something that had come straight from a catwalk. Fishnets crawling up his arms from his gloved hands and an asymmetrical shit he for sure would not have been able to put on without the help of his stylist-noona. All that plus some leather pants and combat boots, he definitely looked more like his persona J.One than the notorious hoodie clad couch potato named Jisung he usually found himself as. 

Having just finished his own solo shoot, he signaled Changbin to head on to the set as he returned. The older nodded from his chair in front of the makeup station, as the artist finished the final touches to his eyeliner. Jisung watched as the shorter rapper walked out to the set in a white puffer jacket that he somehow pulled off, even with the bright red pants he wore. A part of Jisung was thankful his stylist hadn’t taken that many liberties with his outfit, but the makeup and outfit Changbin wore really only emphasized his intimidating stare and the wideness of his shoulders. It was undeniable that their concept photos would come out well. 

Chan, who was seated on a couch, eating some of the provided sandwiches, was already hunched over his computer and mixing equipment again, airpods in. Probably working on tracks for their third comeback knowing him. Not wanting to jump right back into work Jisung snagged a few snacks from the buffet and found a chair he could lay on. Listening to music that wasn't work had become a rarity for Jisung in the years he had been with 3RACHA. Of course he always tried to stay on top of the recent pop and hip hop trends, but straying any farther than his trusty morning and workout playlists was more than unlikely. 

Lately though, Jisung found himself looking through a lot of random indie, alternative, “western” pop, and especially dance music. The versatility of the genres was comforting to Jisung in the rather turbulent state his emotions and mental state have been in, as the debut approached. Also Minho. Meeting Minho definitely had introduced a whole new set of feelings Jisung was still working on navigating. As he listened to the different songs that populated this radio, he told himself he was just looking for some inspiration for his lyrics and 3RACHA’s new music, but even he knew that was mostly a lie. 

Ever since that night at the bar with Minho he found himself always considering the older and what he would think of a song or how he would dance to it, or if he would even like it. After pointing out that he liked a particularly upbeat pop song with melancholic lyrics, during their impromptu karaoke session, Jisung had been delvinging into all related categories to find songs he thought the older might enjoy. He wanted more than anything to inspire his older companion? Partner? (that was a later Jisung question.) but he wanted to repay the man who had allowed him to get out of his creative slump. That night, as soon as the youngest rapper had returned to the 3RACHA “house” he felt the start of at least 5 separate tracks and choruses appear in his brain. His two hyungs jumped into action along with him as Jisung desperately tried to write and record everything that was jumping out of his brain at once. 

Jisung remembered Chan’s smile and encouraging words as he fitted a few of his new verses to songs they had previously put on the shelf. After finding a particularly emotional but upbeat song he immediately wanted to send it to Minho. He always got hung up on what to say with the link. Other than the thought vomit that occurred every time he chooses to send him a potentially good song: “Found this song? U Like???” No Jisung, what are you five?? “I think you will enjoy this song. Please give it a listen? :0” No that just sounds desperate. 

“You doing alright there Ji, I can hear you sighing through my earbuds?” Chan peeked out from under his styled bangs with a raised eyebrow, sending Jisung into a red embarrassed mess that he had been caught. He hoped his layers of foundation would cover it up. 

“Yeah fine fine, don't worry. I’m FINE.” Attempting to hide Jisung curled up tighter into his arm chair. Just be casual Jisung it's a song not a marriage proposal dear god. “Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)” Good, yes fine. Send.

Minho responded immediately and cutely with an emoji that made his heart jump a little. Minho would respond always with a variation of a “Thanks! I’ll go listen”, but Jisung had yet to receive any confirmation that the older actually enjoyed the links he sent, much less had found some inspiration in them. At this point the only thing he could do was hope. He wanted nothing more than Minho to be smiling because of him.

--

Officially exhausted, it wasn’t until late when the 3RACHA boys had finally made it back to their apartment. The day Jisung had, had been anything but short. Almost collapsing immediately on the couch. Sana notified them that she had already ordered food to be delivered for dinner and that they should go to bed as soon as they had finished eating. Chan looked like he was about to pass out on the couch before the food even arrived, which was more than likely at this point. After their shoot they were immediately sent to a few other meetings laying out their marketing and schedule plans for the upcoming weeks. Although glad they were able to part with their artistic and career decisions with their company, it did add a lot of work and responsibilities to the trio. 

Jisung’s phone had died somewhere after meeting 3 of 5 and he had submitted to having to carry the lifeless brick with him anyway. Not ideal for his wandering mind and anxiety that comes with a few too many stressful meetings. Once finally arriving home he went and plugged his phone in at the charger on the kitchen counter. Lighting up with notification buzzes as it rebooted back to life. 

[ 5 new messages from Lee Minho hyungie]

Immediately cursing himself internally for not bringing his charger with him, he opened his messages from Minho ignoring all others. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

5:45 pm

Hey Jisungie, just finished up practice!

Actually may or may not have danced to the song u sent…

Maybe I’ll show you some day hehehehehehehehe ;)

7:21 pm

Han Jisung, did you forget your charger again >:/ 

Well I’m off to my late shift, I hope you have a good night~

Jisung always found himself smiling at Minho’s before work texts. They were always so cute. Either some sort of sweet well wishing or some other Minho-esque goodbye, along the lines of “don’t die mysteriously while i'm gone ;p” or “Have a good night, try not to miss my WONDERFUL company too much <3”. (The hearts always made Jisung grin hard, even if they were sarcastic)

This night though, Jisung found him almost jumping in victory at Minho’s text. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

12:35 am

YOU DANCED TO THE SONG

Really?!?!?!

What did you like about it? 

When can I see????

You better not leave me on read after work!

Jisung tried to imagine what kind of dance Minho would do to the track he sent,and suddenly found himself flush at the thought of watching the other dance. Somehow, watching Minho dance, felt more intimate than any other situation that they’ve shared. Thankfully Minho seemed to want to hold off, so at least of the time being Jisung’s heart was safe. The exhaustion and stress from the day faded ever so slightly as soon as he thought of Minho with coordinating blush to match. 

Jisung you lovestruck fool.

“Jisung! Food’s here!!! If you don't hurry Chan’ll eat your portion again.”

“HEY! It was one time.” Laughter filled the apartment gently as they all respectively fought gravity to get up and make their way to collect the food from the delivery man.  

---

Minho tore up the stairs and through their apartment door as quickly as he could without spilling the carry out food he had in his arms. The clock was ticking a little past midnight and fear set in that the older would miss their planned celebrations. 

Bursting through the door, “Did I beat him?!” The oldest was frazzled from rushing in order to beat their third roommate home from work.

“Barely! I was afraid you wouldn’t make it, with having to bring the carry out.” Hyunjin’s sigh of relief was visible throughout the boy's now relaxed body. He had spent the last ten minutes hoping that they would still be able to pull off their surprise party for the youngest. Pacing around and failing to come up with any backup plans if Minho had been later than Felix. Thankfully for them both, Minho had a way of always being on time. 

“Hey all that matters is I made it. Is everything else ready?” Looking around Minho could see that Hyunjin’s bed was transitioned back into the couch setting and that the floors had been tidied up. A couple stray balloons littered the floor as well as a home made “happy birthday felix” sign hung from their living room screen divider. 

“Yep, I've just been waiting anxiously for you to get home for the past half hour.”

The door handle of their apartment began to jiggle, signaling the two boys to spring into action. Minho setting down the carry out, and Hyunjin frantically lights candles on the small cake on the coffee table. The door swung open, revealing a disheveled after-work Felix wandering through the door. As soon as the boy turned toward their living room, he was accosted with shouts and the flailing limbs of his hyungs. 

“Surprise!!!” “Happy Birthday!!!” 

Felix’s smile erased any of the signs of exhaustion off his face immediately as soon as he spotted his hyungs excited expressions. The cake, the streamers, the balloons, and sign all sparked some joyful tearing of his eyes as he set down his things and made his way to the small cake with a few random lit candles on top. The clock had crossed over into the next day as Felix had made his way home, that he had almost forgotten that it was now technically the early morning hours of his birthday. Coming home to joyful cheers instead of their usual exhausted silence had given him a certain happiness that he hadn’t realized he was missing. 

For all of three of the roommates this was their first time having a celebration in their small home together. By now the sense of home was undeniable and without realizing it all of them had begun to consider each other and their shared 3 room apartment, home. 

The disjointed singing of happy birthday followed by the laughter and conversation surrounded their coffee table as the three enjoyed their small carryout feast and cake. The warmth that their company gave each other lasted well into the night.

“Hyung! It's my birthday, stop eating all the cake!!!” 

“I have no idea what youre talking about Lixie.” Minho says while actively taking another bite of their 2 person sized cake. 

“Hyung!” The laughter of the oldest filled the room followed by the other two’s not too long after.

“Happy Birthday Lixie~” The smile hadn’t left the freckled boys faces since he had sat down, and remained as he pulled his two roommates into a forceful hug. It was his birthday so the boys both submitted to the clingy nature of their third roommate, as always.

---

It was late into the early morning by the time Minho had checked his phone. 

[ 5 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung]

A soft pang of guilt hits his chest after reading the younger’s texts and realizing that he did in fact leave the other on read for the better part of the last two hours.  

2:43 am 

I’m so sorry Sungie!

We were celebrating Felix’s birthday, and I didnt check my phone…. 

Look at the cute cake we got him!

{photo attached}

Minho sent the selfie of the three of them with Felix’s cake, if anything just to lessen the guilt in his chest. Hoping that the cuteness of Felix’s smile would be enough to forgive him for low key ghosting him for a few hours. Minho knows that on the days Jisung has the most schedules are the hardest for him mentally, and he always tries his best to be there for him and send him a message or two to lessen the load on those nights. The fact that he hadn’t been there tonight filled him with some worry. A part of him hoped that the younger would’ve been asleep by now but their late night track record did not exactly support that. 

---

Jisung had been lying painfully awake in his bed for an hour when he heard the buzz of his phone. Slightly upset with his body for not giving into the exhaustion he had gathered from the day, and just letting him sleep, he turned to the side table to check the messages. Awake fully ,but only mentally half conscious, he read through his messages:

Minho. Oh, yay, it's Minho.

Felix’s Birthday. Oh right he had mentioned that coming up.

Cute cake. Aw that cake is really cute… wait. 

Birthday.

I have one of those, around this time to- 

I missed my birthday. I forgot my birthday. Everyone forgot.

The cute picture Minho had sent was so filled with happiness that Jisung almost let the pain slide and pass the moment by. But something just didn't feel right in letting himself forget his own birthday. The fact that the others hadn’t remembered didn’t bother him too much. Chan, Changbin, they were all busy with schedules and he can't blame them. Especially since he, himself had forgotten. No birthday text from his family either. Unsurprising though since he rarely got in contact with them since moving to Korea in high school. He forgot though. 

He wasn’t quite sure why this was bothering him so much. Some people don't even celebrate their birthday, or remember how old they are, but Jisung had always prided himself on never letting his work take over entirely who he was. To exhausted-Jisung, he couldn’t help but feel like this was one step toward losing the grip on who he was, and that was in itself, terrifying. 

The coldness of his bed and the dark expanse of his room seemed to only perpetuate the way Jisung felt. Floating, alone, lost. His insecurity was starting to come into focus, and no wonder it had been keeping him up. He had been spiraling for days probably, without even knowing it. The buzz of his phone lit up his face, snapping him out of his own thoughts for a moment. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

2:50 pm 

You okay Jisung? 

I hope I didn't wake you

Jisung noticed that the app had revealed that he had read the messages and was indeed awake. Unfortunately, exhausted-and--spirling-Jisung was the only one present enough to send a response. Hopefully Minho wouldn’t mind him too much. 

You didn’t wake me, was already up :/ 

It looks really fun hyung

I just realized something too

My birthday was yesterday

I forgot it

Jisung found himself fighting the watering of his eyes as he sent those messages. Why was he crying? He just forgot, he was busy. It was okay. Right? The tears seemed to only cloud his vision more, blocking him from reading the messages from Minho that were buzzing and populating the screen. Not bothering to wipe his eyes, he let them blurr.

Wh- do you- mea- ???

Jis--ng ar- y-- ok--?

I-- sorry i- di-nt -----

---- wa-t --- ca-l?

--sung?

A few moments passed, without him realizing it, as his phone buzzed some more, screen changing to the incoming call screen. Sucking up his tears and drying his damp screen, it took a few tries before answering the call.

---

“Jisung!?” Jisung nearly flinched, just nearly. 

“Hi hyung, How was work?” hoping to cover up his tears by changing the subject. Jisung thought it was a pretty good attempt.

“How wa- what, no. Jisung are you okay?” There it was again. The undeniable worry in Minho’s voice. Ow. 

“Yeah I’m okay.” Despite Jisung’s efforts it was obvious to Minho that the other had in fact been crying. Not wanting to push the younger though, he allowed him to change the subject

“.... okay, I just want to check in on you. I worry you know, Sung!” 

“About me? that's silly hyung.” The distance in his tone replaced Jisung’s usual brightness, and it hurt Minho to hear it. 

“I don't think so. How am I to know what my favorite customer is up to? You may be a soon to be rap star but that doesn’t keep you from ignoring your hyung.” Even though Jisung giggled at that, the irony of the statement wasn’t lost on Minho. A wave of guilt washed over his chest as soon as he said it. 

“I am sorry though. For not answering sooner and everything.” 

And for reminding you of your birthday, and making you cry, and not being there to make you smile.

“No don’t be sorry! That’ll only make me feel worse for bothering you… I think the exhaustion was just making me delirious, I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights.” Minho had to fight his initial protective instincts that told him to scold the younger for not taking care of himself, because a part of him knew that the younger was certainly trying his best to do so. 

“Well if you can’t sleep ever, just call me okay? I’m usually up from my shifts anyway. Plus if I'm not up surely one of my roommates is. Felix will probably never let go of you once he finds your birthday brothers." Hearing Minho's laugh lightened the tight pressure that Jisung hadn't realized had been settled in his chest.

"Okay hyung, i'd like that I think."

"You better. My time rarely comes free, and this is a limited time offer." Jisung’s laugh is a little bit more enthusiastic this time. 

“Of course hyung.” A silence came over them for a moment. Not an awkward one, more of a point of realization and relief. Like the feeling after having a good cry, in Jisung’s case. 

“Happy belated birthday Jisung.” 

“Thanks hyung… Did you have a fun time with Felix?” 

“Yeah! It was actually a lot of fun. Just some carry out and cake after work, but it was good to relax with them. We don't always have free time together, and haven’t had the chance to celebrate anything until now. Hyunnie luckily found a cake on sale at the mart today, sparking this whole thing.” 

Minho remembered the frantic call from the younger as he delved into his plans for giving Felix the “perfect surprise birthday celebration” because he had “found the perfect cake to match Felix’s cuteness.” It was on sale. Also because “Come on Min-hyung Felix would absolutely do the same for us.” Explaining the situation to Jisung really did solidify the fact that Minho knew Felix, would in fact, plan some adorable birthday celebration for the older two if given the opportunity. 

“What would you guys have done if he hadn't found the cake?”

“I’m not sure maybe it would’ve just been a carry-out celebration.”

“Still sounds really nice hyungie. You and your roommates seem so close.” 

“I suppose shared rent does that to people.” Minho laughed it off but he had begun to cherish the brotherly bond that had grown between his roommates. 

Not having ever considered it before, the fact that the roommates were only able to buy a cake because it happened to be on sale, revealed to Jisung that their financial situations may have been farther apart than he realized. Money had never been a barrier that Jisung had to face, always having family (or honestly Changbin) help pay for his living and pursuit of his dreams. Sure he’s had part time jobs in the past but he never found himself worrying about not making enough each month. Not going to university definitely was a large factor in maintaining his “affordable” lifestyle.

“It's nice you do things for each other. I can't remember the last time my hyungs and I have done something together that didn't have to do with our music.” Jisung started to feel some sort of jealousy at the closeness that Minho and his roommate had found in each other. Financial guilt and emotional jealousy are a strange combination for a half conscious Jisung to say the least. 

“Are those fools not taking care of my Sung properly? Illegal, tell them to call me I have to yell at them too. They better not be working you too hard.” 

‘My Sung’ Jisung almost choked. Almost. 

“Nonono Hyung! They take care of me fine, we're all just exhausted with work.”

“Hmmmm okay they get a pass this time, but please relay my threat.”

“Okay okay I will.” 

“You should probably get some rest soon. You're busy tomorrow right?” 

Jisung yawned in response, which was enough convincing for Minho that he needed to rest. 

“Okay looks like it's sleepy time for hardworking Jisung~”

“Wait hyung!” Jisung wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet, even though his body was actively fighting him.

“Yes belated birthday boy?”

“Thank you for not letting me be a sad gremlin all night. It would've been nice to have spent my birthday with you, but you still made me feel better.”

The musings of sleepy Jisung were just about enough to let the fondness burst from Minho’s chest. As much as he continues to hide it, the fondness still seeps into his voice, “Of course, Jisung we always have next year.” A promise he wasn’t sure he could keep but Jisung always made him want to try new things. 

“Next year?” The sleepiness had definitely taken over, making his voice much softer than his usual bright edge. 

“Yes next year... Goodnight Sungie, call me back if you can't sleep okay.”

“Mmkay, G’night hyungie.” Already half asleep by the time he hung up, Minho was glad that the younger was finally able to rest. Glancing at his roommates huddled together on the couch already drifting off, Minho accepted that it was his turn to finally rest knowing that all his younger companions were all safely sleeping. Hyung instincts he supposes.

-----

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[shorkbrian]

Ask Answering

Ask answering time!

As always, if you don’t see your ask answered, it just means I’m saving it to attach it to a fic, Drabble, or HC. 

If you’d prefer to not see these types of posts from me, block the tag “shorkbrian answers a lot of asks”

CAn I be one of those pies that has birds in it? Goth pie.  But ty dude, and you aren’t pathetic lol. we’re all in this boat together.

Me sitting in class all the time just like 

but I wish you luck as well man! collemge edumakashun here we cum

Hello black heart anon (: You’re always in my inbox and I love it so so so much, you don’t even know 

lub u black heart anon

thank u luv <3 

(legitimately I see this ask every time I go to fill a req and askuhkdk it makes me wheeze)

Guess what Awaso? 

In Love With You. This is such a genuine and heartfelt message, I would let you bite my ear whenever you wanted, let me be the Van Gogh to ur knife bby. 

forrreal, I know logically that a lot of the feelings I have are normal and are part of being a teenager. Fun story but for like the first 16-17 years of my life I was convinced there was something wrong with me because I didn’t feel the need to express emotions. I could count on one hand how many times I’d cried in the past two years. Then I went to therapy and talked about stuff and my therapist taught me how to cry. I still can’t really cry, but at least it happens lol. So while it’s kinda embarrassing and stupid, a little part of me is glad I’m able to express my emotions instead of just stuffing them down my shirt like a little kid stuffing a pillow down their shirt trying to emulate a pregnant woman.

Okay I'm done lol, anyways, thank you for this message. I’ve read and re-read it many, many times.

It’s not stupid!!!!!! Do not apologize!!!!!! fantasies are fantasies, I get it bro (:

still cannot believe there are people out there who genuinely enjoy my stuff... like y’alll... I thought it was a joke...

But I would be willing to write a second part! I just need help coming up with like an idea cause idek how to go from there lol. 

could you guys pls stop giving me compliments I am genuinely going to cry like a little bitch and I have to uphold the image of being the funniest person in my household and If I start crying then I cannot do that. Pls. My Image

Listen, she can be whoever you want her to be! long lost sister, adopted sister, the kid he used to babysit that coincidentally loves horror movies and the same stuff he likes. Could be the kid that came over to help clean his father’s gigantic house, could be the bagger at the grocery store. You get to control who it is! That’s the cool bit!

You have thus been dubbed “Iced Chocolate Anon” (What is that btw? is that a thing?). Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry that you had to go through that experience, I can’t imagine that it was easy or fun or even fruitful. I’m glad you’re looking at life through a different lens, and that you’re down to share that lease with other people. I’ve been trying to be better, to get better.

What did I just say about not making me cry it’s gonna Ruin My Image man. DOn’t be nice to me PLEASE I'm asjfshkgkfs

me every time I open my page/look at my pfp

do you-do you wanna share the medicine I take

Thank you! He’s always fun to write for lol

ty for the draca-snoop. He was and is much appreciated (:

I get what you’re saying, and you make really checking good points. I guess I just get too caught up with how I should try to be, because I don’t know what to do on this site and so I just kinda follow everyone else? and try to make sure I'm following the unwritten rules. Like I don’t want people getting mad cause I don’t answer asks right away or anything, yanno? idk, stuff is hard lol amirite

I owe myself the care and attention to make time to do things I enjoy. I enjoy writing, I enjoy seeing what people send me. I enjoy the experience. Y’all are rad as heck!

WHAT KIND OF REQUEST IS THAT

the first request I’ll ever be denying sorry luv

well I do not know what to do cause other people say

so I’m just standing here idek anymore

why inhale my posts when you could be inhaling this di-

Thank you kind stranger! although pls don’t admire my hands, I need new ones. hand donations are open ! I can only type like 70(?) wpm and I have an essential tremor and so I’m shaking like it’s -42 degrees at all times. please, I want different hands. I mean if you wanna we can trade. But essentially lol the point was THANK YOU you’re super nice

ik this was back before I set up my master list and I was crying and whining and being annoying about it. You worded this so nicely! I think I’m only going to be uploading actual fics and one shots there, because the thirst posts and drabbles don’t fit the ao3 format lol.

I feel like I need to accept that Kirishima is my comfort character lol. I love him sm. I think of him and just 

“Or just post anything, really.” have fun watching me post about Kirishima 2465972658729 before even thinking about any other character loooooool

AO3 Anon!!!! This message made me feel so warm and loved and ugh, you’re literally too sweet and too kind and a literal angel on earth. You rock. I hope YOU have a lovely day/night.

thank u bby (wink wonk wink)

gahfdsgkdh KIDDING but lol my intent was that Sero is a GIANT perv, but in the process of being a giant perv, he fell in love with u mwuah 

I’m sorry lol

Okay, I will be 100% hoenest here.... I rlly don’t like Enji. writing for him is like an impossible task for me, I have no Simp Sauce for him. But you know who does, and who is really cool, and would love to explore these ideas with you? @implexedactions​ 

Enji is THEIR man and ONLY their man lol. 

It’s not over-stepping, and it’s not weird, no worries. Remember folks, I don’t kink shame or character shame here (I do admit when something isn’t my particular jam, but just cause I don’t froth for it doesn’t mean others shouldn’t, yanno? Like what you like), and there is very little I see as weird lol.

thank you for the concern though, I appreciate it.

And with that, we have ended. TY for coming to my (Shorky) ask answering session. Have a good night and drink some freakin water, right now. Finish reading this and get up and go get water. It’s good for you. TY

[13atoms]

Deep Focus: Chapter 2 [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Summary: Tom is a successful porn director with a romantic streak which proves very popular with his female audience. His resident porn actress and business partner has been with him through thick and thin, the two of them growing completely inseparable, even as her own career starts taking off.

But working in such close proximity is intense, and burgeoning feelings threaten to complicate their professional relationship.

Mature, smut, porn director!AU, ethical porn production discussion, porn-star-and-coworker!reader. Friends to lovers, slow-ish burn.

This chapter: [6.4k] Ao3 link

For the first time in forever, you were at the studio before Tom.

You couldn’t remember a day he’d been later than you, and you finally started to work alone as the clock ticked past midday. As punishment you sat at his desk, booting up your computer where his usually sat and ignoring the quiet fear that something was wrong.

The studio was too quiet. The kettle was cold. There were no props strewn about the place, no piles of scripts left on every free surface. There wasn’t a random actor there to audition, or tape marking out marks for a future shoot. As you stared out of the office doorway, absorbing the clean, lifeless space, you kind of hated it.

The camera was back where it belonged, the corner you’d shot in yesterday was empty. The lights were all packed away and the space seemed huge again. Like it had yesterday. If you closed your eyes, you could still see the cosy bed in that corner, the place on the floor Tom had sat as he watched you, the heavy black lens that couldn’t distract you from his bright eyes watching you.

Had you done something wrong?

You tapped nervously at your keyboard, opening your inbox just for something to do.

And there was that job offer: staring you in the face. You hadn’t replied yet, still undecided. It was a huge pay check. A one-off gig with a studio you knew Tom didn’t really like. They were… cutthroat. Rough. More traditional in their… treatment of their stars. You knew they were professionals, but the content they produced wasn’t exactly morally what Tom approved of.

The film they wanted you for was brutal. It would be safe, but it would be intense. Probably demeaning. Against the principles Tom stood for. You closed the email again.

The two of you had never thought to discuss exclusivity, and you wondered if it was implied in the working relationship you had. If he just… expected it. You needed to bring it up with him soon. You’d been avoiding the email for long enough.

“What else?” you sighed to yourself, half-expecting one of Tom’s usual snarky replies as you talked to yourself.

The office was silent. Your inbox was boring. You only had one more unopened email. As usual, it was from Tom, though one email was better than the usual half-dozen he sent you every night. It was titled: Approval?

That was the usual process, you approved the videos before they went live. But what was he planning on posting? There wasn’t anything for this week.

Unlisted on his site, you immediately recognised the set from today. The timestamp said forty minutes. For a moment you were gobsmacked, wondering how late Tom had worked to have that footage exported and edited already. Wondering why he’d uploaded it already. And how forty minutes had slipped through your fingers, watched silently.

It was a startlingly quick turnaround. He had to have a reason, he usually did. Yet your hand still shook as you hit play.

You winced at hearing your own voice, seeing yourself so out of control like that. But it all looked good. Scrubbing quickly through the timeline, there was one edit you were looking for. One clumsy edit that would look like a jump-cut, and you feared might ruin the film.

You didn’t see it. Instead, the whole video was uncut, even the moment you were sure he would remove. You looked debauched, ruined, hair messy and your body thoroughly overworked. But you could only look at your face. At the vulnerability, as you looked past the camera, staring at Tom.

Why did he leave that in?

In the moment you hadn’t realised how long you were looking at him, searching for what to do next, desperate for something from him. It was no longer your voice coming from the laptop’s tinny speakers, it was a deeper one. A comforting, soft tone.

“You’re doing amazing,” he said, clear as day. And then, “another one?”

You paused the clip, grimacing at the contorted look of desperation on your own static face, and let your face fall into your hands. Tom was never clumsy. He was a perfectionist. He was never in his own films.

So why had he left that in? You’d have to talk to him about it.

Then you’d have to save this copy of the clip.

Fuck.

The door finally opened, the jingle of Tom’s keys announcing him before he arrived. You didn’t bother to hide your screen.

“Morning,” he greeted, cheery as ever.

“Afternoon,” you returned.

That was his usual joke at your expense. Except he was late for once. He gave you a short laugh, so short you barely recognised it.

“Yeah, I know,” he conceded.

You offered an olive branch; neither of you really cared if the other was late.

“Up all-night editing?”

He hummed approval, barely acknowledging your comments. He’d already glanced over your shoulder as he reached for a folder, not acknowledging that you’d stolen his desk, wordlessly settling in opposite you.

Instead his short nails tapped against the folder, his feet settling against the outer side of the desk, as he seemed to look for the words to say to you.

You’d never noticed how much higher his chair was than your usual one, letting you peer down at him a little. You liked it. And wondered if it was intentional.

“I was surprised you got yesterday’s shoot polished off so quick,” you commented.

He had the nerve to look a little embarrassed.

“It was a good one, I, uh, I thought we could post it today.”

You raised an eyebrow, he kept talking.

“It didn’t even really need editing I mean you were… it was amazing. I think it’ll do really well and –”

He trailed off. You took the chance to interrupt him.

“I think you forgot to edit yourself out. Twenty-eight minute mark.”

You expected him to pull the video up. He just sat there, watching his hands as they tapped across that fucking file.

“You can hear your voice, Tom.”

He finally blinked up at you, and you suddenly realised you hated this. This switched power dynamic. You wanted to give him his big serious job back. Be the annoying, less-serious one who relished in kicking at his desk and winding him up.

This wasn’t fun.

“Is that a problem?” he offered, finally.

Your mouth opened in surprise.

“I mean, it’s your choice. You’ve just never done that before.”

“Hm?”

“I mean, your name’s always there but… you’ve never been in the films before.”

“It’s just my voice,” he brushed it off.

But both of you knew that was a lie.

Because that made him your costar. The person you were… performing to. It made him part of the fantasy itself. You closed the video in front of you. You didn’t need to watch any more. Couldn’t watch any more in front of him.

“Well if that’s all good… then yeah. Send it.”

You couldn’t hide the flatness of your voice, and you caught Tom’s concerned glance. You scooped up your computer before he could say something serious.

“I’ll, uh, give you your desk back,” you smiled, standing to swap seats, “your fancy chiropractic chair is hurting my spine.”

He huffed, but stood to swap places with a good-natured smile. You tried to conceal your jolt of surprise as he brushed past a bit too close. You’d opened your laptop back up again, ready to take on some bullshit task, when Tom reached across to gently close the lid.

“I wanted to talk.”

You set the computer aside, lacing your fingers together instead, your throat closing as you wondered what on earth about. Could he fire you? The seriousness on his face was enough to make you worried.

“What about?”

Your words sounded so flimsy, so much hollower than his rich, clean baritone that you wanted to say them again. Without sounding like a coward.

“Just… yesterday.”

You glanced up once to meet his eyes, but you couldn’t take it. Your focused on the shallow marks your nails left against the back of your hand.

“You seemed unhappy,” he continued, “and although the shoot was great, I just wanted to check in. I ask a lot of you, and I just wondered if it was too much.”

You blinked in surprise, and felt that hot shame rising in your chest. You had a horrible feeling you knew why you’d been so strange. And you couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m fine. Sorry, it was an off-day.”

“I’m just worried,” Tom placated, but you only heard concern.

“I can do the job,” you told him firmly. You were close to snapping at him, and you hated yourself for the dismay on his face. “I’ll be back to usual by the next shoot. I think everything being so… quiet… freaked me out.”

Tom closed his eyes, sighing heavily. You were surprised to look up and see his head resting on his knuckles, an unusual agitation in the fidgeting of his body language.

The moment passed in silence, and you watched him in concern. Wondering if you ought to be worried too.

“That was unprofessional. Yesterday. I crossed a line.”

He sounded sombre, so sombre it was jarring. You shook your head, surprised by how seriously he was taking this. How much it seemed to really, really nag at him. You wondered if ‘make it real’ was the nicest direction anyone had ever been given in the entire porn industry.

“You were just directing. We saved a lot of money on production,” you offered, “even if the video’s no good, it was free to make.”

He looked at you seriously, piercingly, and you felt pinned to the chair by the way he appeared to look through you.

“It was the best video we’ve ever made.”

You brushed off the comment. He said that all the time.

“I’m sure it’ll do well –”

“No, it… while I was editing, I just kept thinking… It was good.”

You’d seen his crouch yesterday, the speed he’d sent you off to shower. The memory had accompanied you late into the night. He’d definitely liked the shoot.

You wondered if that meant anything. Maybe not.

When you looked across at Tom, he was beet red.

“If you insist,” you shrugged, keen to move on from the moment.

Tom refused.

“That’s why I’m worried. That was your best work but… I feel like you were upset. Freaked out. If I ever cross a boundary like that you need to tell me. I refuse to be some industry creep, if you want someone else there while we film, or –”

“Who would I have, Tom? There’s no one I trust more than you.”

And suddenly his head was in his hands again, a dismayed groan quiet in his throat, and you wondered if he’d lost sleep over yesterday.

You wondered if he’d lost sleep for the same reasons you had.

“Tell me,” he insisted, words firm. “You have to tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable again.”

“I will,” you promised, “but you didn’t make me uncomfortable yesterday. It’s fine, really. I think I was just – ”

Overwhelmed by you.

“Spaced out.”

He didn’t buy it, but the conversation was going nowhere. You stared out the window behind him. There was nothing out there but a car park, but it was better than trying to work out what was happening in the office.

Tom cleared his throat. You tapped your fingers against your laptop.

That email at the top of your inbox was nagging at you.

“Do you think we need a break?” you offered, and Tom’s head shot up, lines appearing between his eyebrows as he searched your expression.

“What do you mean?”

“The studio. We should shut down for a week. I don’t know, pre-record something. You could book a holiday.”

The wry smile on Tom’s lips told you nothing was further from his mind.

“It could be nice,” he conceded, “only if you promise to take a break too.”

Caught.

“I’ve… I’ve been offered another job.”

Tom took his work seriously. It was his passion. He never accepted the industry for what it was – he dedicated every waking hour to making his work the best. It was the reason his kind, overly-sincere, oversized heart beat.

And in the quiet of the office, you could hear his heart breaking.

“Oh.”

“For one shoot! Not – Jesus – not actually another job. Triple Tricks want me to do a shoot. It’ll be like, one day. And I might need some time off afterwards so we could take the week off.”

Tom had blanched at the mention of Triple Tricks. He had winced at the mention of time off. You studied his face, trying to work out which emotion was seizing hold of him now.

It certainly wasn’t joy.

“Tom?”

He stayed quiet. You hated this schtick. He hated the other studio.

“We don’t have an exclusivity clause, do we? I did try and check.”

“What kind of shoot is it?”

He knew. If you needed time off afterwards, he knew. He was making you say it anyway.

“BDSM.”

You’d be bruised. That much was evident. You’d Googled them, heard of them through peers. But fuck the money was good. It would be zero-preparation. The concept was kind of hot, you thought you could sell it. It wasn’t scripted, you just had to… be a body. This wasn’t what Tom made. But you could still be good at it.

“You know I don’t like it,” he sighed, and you shrugged.

“A pay check is a pay check.”

And that was where you and Tom differed. This was more than money to him.

“Sorry,” you added, the word falling flat as you heard it.

“I can’t stop you, and you’re not exclusive to us, I just…”

“Don’t make it weird, Tom.”

“I do all this, we have this amazing shoot day, and you’re planning on working with ‘Tricks?”

He was being stern. You realised it abruptly, realised it from his growl and his carefully controlled volume, and the white of his knuckles as he clasped them together.

“The money is too good,” you retort, trying to match his firmness, and just feeling cold. The words are an apology.

“I’ve offered you more! If you need it, I can lend you – ”

“You don’t need to ‘lend’ me money, Tom! I earn it. Just like you. And now I can earn more. Wouldn’t you do the same? Name one other actress who only works for one studio.”

“I just want you to be safe.”

You frowned.

“Not as your… director. Or business partner. We’re friends, and they’re bastards over there. I just want you safe.”

“They won’t actually hurt me,” you promise, trying to push away the clips you’d seen online. Not really, you reasoned.

Tom’s expression told you he didn’t believe a word of it. And that he wasn’t just worried about physical pain.

“When’s the shoot?”

“I haven’t said yes yet.”

He sighed.

“You wanted to ask me?”

You nodded, and as soon as you saw his face in his hands, you knew your mind was made up. Tom remained quiet, and you wished you could see the inside of his mind.

“If you’re that against it, I won’t do it.”

The expression of relief on his face as so powerful, you weren’t sure you’d ever forget it. He just nodded, offered you a weak smile, and turned to his computer.

*

You weren’t sure how long you stared at the email you’d written, waiting blankly, as if you could send it telekinetically by staring long enough. It was short, polite, and you really hoped they didn’t test your resolve with a higher counteroffer. But it was done. You couldn’t betray Tom’s morals. Not for less than a very nice car, at least.

Tom had posted the video, you only knew because of your notifications, he’d tagged your work accounts social media accounts in everything to promote it. When you looked up at him, he was waiting to speak to you, hair tousled in the way it was when he absentmindedly tugged at it while he worked.

You could see his apology before you heard it.

“I’m sorry for being harsh. I just – I can’t tell you what to do, but please not them. If it’s another ethical studio you’ve got my blessing, but… not that. I can’t see you like that.”

You knew he couldn’t bear it. You were surprised by the relief you felt, hitting send.

A few minutes later he had made tea, settled in for a day of planning out future videos and not much else. These were your favourite days, just fucking around and dreaming up plots with Tom.

A hand settled on your shoulder as he set your mug in front of you, rubbing a little across the fabric of your shirt. You wanted to lean into his touch.

“You’re getting all of it. The money from that video, I mean. You deserve it.”

You frowned. That wasn’t the deal.

“Halves on everything, remember?”

He didn’t respond, but his hand just stayed there, a comforting weight as he stood over you. You could see his reflection in the window glass, the unusually solemn expression on his face.

“Call it an apology. For you turning down a good pay check.”

You smiled tightly, covering his hand with yours. That seemed to shake him out of his own head, giving your shoulder one last squeeze before he walked away from you.

“You did the edit! It’s your studio,” you protested.

“It’s our studio. And the edit… was a privilege. You made it easy.”

Tom closed the door after he left, busy fussing around with the props cupboard or something. You stared blankly down at your keyboard, wondering what the hell was going on inside his head.

*

As they days passed the incident was forgotten, as your easy friendship with Tom returned. You didn’t hesitate a moment turning down Triple Tricks’ second higher offer, too busy enjoying yourself with Tom. It was just the two of you, preparing for a shoot the next day, sharing the familiar space of the office.

“You’ve seen it a hundred times before!” you laughed, watching as Tom covered his eyes with his palm, his other arm reached out as if to warn you away. Your shirt was already off, bra following as you worked out how to get into the medieval princess costume Tom had ‘invested’ in.

“Not in our office! The bloody windows are open! Anyone could see!”

“Oh no! My modesty!” you mocked, ignoring him as you tried on the outfit, laughing at the tackiness of it.

It certainly was a ‘princess’ outfit, all gauze and corset – definitely not historically accurate – and you wondered where the hell Tom had bought this. You usually sourced costumes, but he’d been insisting on doing more recently. You tried to just appreciate the reduced workload, and ignore the nagging worry that you knew the reasons behind it.

“Help me with the corset?”

Groaning and dramatically uncovering his eyes, Tom circled around the desk to you, already eagerly kicking your jeans off. You’d been ecstatic when Tom told you it arrived, eager to just play dress-up, before the damn thing got ruined.

His fingers traced the edge of the fabric, making sure everything laid comfortably against your skin, and you impatiently waited for him to tighten the back of the bodice. Pointedly ignoring his soft, warm fingertips as they traced the material.

When he tentatively pulled the laces tighter you were pleasantly surprised with his costume choices. It fit like a glove. Rushing to a mirror, you ignored the rush of fondness you felt for the man as he eagerly followed.

“My tits look great!”

He fidgeted, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, and you tried not to relish in the blush painting his cheeks. He did that a lot recently: blushing. It was delightful, to see it reflected in the mirror.

“I, um, yeah.”

Turning to face him, he finally broke into a laugh, hands finding your elbows in that casual way he liked to touch you.

“What’s the end game here? I get fucked by a bunch of knights?”

He snorted, still fussing with the lacing behind you, and you bit your lip as his fingers tested the give of the fabric to make sure you weren’t being crushed.

“You make it sound so romantic. Haven’t you read the script?”

“Not yet. Sorry, Tommy.”

He tugged on the laces suddenly, making you jerk back an inch, grumbling as he laughed. The tightness of the fabric against your torso when he did that didn’t feel half bad. You filed that away for another day.

“What’s your plot then?” you teased, turning to face him.

You hadn’t realised you were practically in his arms, and you saw his gaze shift down from your face for a second before he spoke.

“A competition? For your hand in marriage?”

He crouched teasingly, lifting your hand, and for a split second you wondered if he was actually planning on kissing your knuckles. Nope.

A glance through the open door reminded you why you were here.

“That’s a common fantasy, right?” he faltered, the teasing edge of his voice dulled just a little with questioning.

“Yeah, yeah. For sure. I’m not sure about in porn though.”

He pursed his lips, thinking, as you finally got the hips of the dress situated and stepped into the studio to find a mirror.

He followed you as you examined how your body looked in the costume, and you caught the quirk of his lip as you spun, not hiding your excitement.

“You haven’t asked me what kind of competition,” he taunted. You took the bait.

“What kind?”

“Who can make you cum first?”

For just a moment, you didn’t know what to say. The outfit took on a whole new meaning as you imagined the shoot, where you would be in twenty-four hours’ time.

“You do know the way to a woman’s heart,” you hummed, not quite realising the implication to your words until you’ve said them. “I mean, what makes them tick. That’s hot.”

He chuckled.

“Glad you approve.”

There was a reupholstered chaise in the studio that he’d bought for the shoot, and you’d been enjoying lounging on it. Tomorrow you wondered if you’ve be enjoying it more, or cursing Tom.

Depended on the guys, you supposed.

“Who’ve you got?”

“Three guys, and a girl. Two of the guys are twins, it’s their whole thing. Seems as bit weird, but whatever.”

You frowned. Was that in the budget?

“That’s expensive, and… I don’t know them?”

He looked away from you in the reflection.

“I put it all on the spreadsheets. I didn’t’ want to bother you – ”

God. If he’d fucked up those cashflow statements, you were going to throttle him. He knew it, too. The corset just made you angrier as it restricted your ability to inhale and shout at him.

“They’re going to be inside me, Tom. I’d prefer if you bothered me.”

He winced, and you immediately regretted being so snappy, seeing the tightening of his broad shoulders as he stood beside you in the mirror.

“I… that’s fair. Sorry,”

You let the argument pass, a silent acceptance of his apology as you fidgeted with the costume again. He was trying. You trusted him.

The two of you definitely needed to talk.

“If I’m gonna be a princess I should have a tiara,” you teased lightly, eager to nitpick anything, just for Tom to be wrong.

Instead he smiled, smarmy bastard, disappearing into his office and returning with a tacky jewellery box.

“Your highness,” he held it out to you, and you rolled your eyes, frustrated by how quickly his stupid antics could win you back.

Flipping open the lid of the box, he revealed a surprisingly nice tiara. Certainly more a bit nicer than the plastic prop jewellery you’d expected, though certainly nothing outrageous. He set it delicately on your hair, wary of damaging it. You laughed at it immediately fell half-way out, sitting crooked an inch above your forehead.

“Absolutely majestic,” Tom teased lightly, but you sensed the underlying tension in his voice. An olive branch.

“Good choice,” you approved, reaching up to properly fix the piece in your hair.

In the mirror, you caught Tom beam.

*

The shoot ran perfectly. Like clockwork. Everyone was lovely to you, nothing chaffed, and you wondered if Tom’s guilt was the solution to finally having a problem-free shoot day. Well, aside from that other problem-free shoot day. But the two of you didn’t talk about that, even as the video had exploded in popularity. You were enjoying a healthy income stream from it.

You had no doubt this video would do well too. It had been hot, at least from what you’d seen in the monitor. It was more like Tom’s usual productions, full of reshoots and dialogue and an entire storyline which culminated in you reclined on the chaise, corset shoved below your bust and skirts pushed up.

For a whole afternoon you had just followed Tom’s commands on how much you were supposed to be enjoying the various different fingers, cocks and mouths of your costars. It didn’t escape your notice that he hadn’t written you anything remotely difficult for weeks.

“Lay back and look pretty,” he’d winked to you between conversations with the rest of the cast and crew, and you had smirked from your chaise.

Inwardly, you wondered what the hell was going on.

The tiara had pressed against your scalp as you’d been fucked, and the reminder of Tom’s sweetness made it difficult to keep your gaze on your costars. There was a tall figure behind the cameras seemingly begging for your attention. You realised you had forgotten to react for a few seconds, so distracted by your own thoughts, faking a moan as one of the men shoved just a little too deep into you.

“Wait!”

Fuck.

Tom must have seen you wince. The man – Michael, you forced yourself to remember – nodded to you apologetically, stroking more lube onto himself at Tom’s behest. He was the last of the actors to have a turn at pleasing you, and frankly you were exhausted.

“We can redo that with a close up, then we’ll move on,” Tom was declaring, but your mind was elsewhere, your body in that strange state of physical pleasure and emotional detachment. Your mind was elsewhere.

The chill of the room was getting to you, and you caught yourself shivering as the cameras were moved.

“Okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded, blinking in surprise at the feeling of Tom’s hand cupping your jaw, refusing to meet his eyes. He’d see right through you if you made eye contact. Satisfied, he moved on, behind the cameras again barking the politest orders to prepare for a few close up shots.

Oh, god. Time to go again.

Michael muttered an apology as his hands found your bare breast again, pinching at your nipple to make it harden again, and in that moment of tenderness you saw something familiar in his blue eyes.

“You are beautiful, you know.”

If you closed your eyes, that voice could belong to someone else.

You smiled, surprised by a more genuine sense of arousal settling deep in your stomach. As Michael gently probed a couple of fingers inside of you, testing you were wet enough to take him again, you had to bite back a moan.

He noticed. Of course he did. With a near-clinical curiosity he sought out your g-spot, gently pressing against it, and you felt yourself clench at the light chuckle he made.

“This could be fun,” he whispered to you, and you bit your lip, melting ever so slightly more into the chaise as he withdrew his fingers with a final stretch, rubbing a few hard circles on your clit as he left.

When Tom called action, you barely heard. You were too busy thinking about how much you actually wanted what was about to happen next. This wasn’t just fun, or pleasure. You needed it.

All the shot called for was Michael fucking you. He had to be ‘the best’ as Tom’s script had dictated. You weren’t aware he would be quite such a good fit for the role. He teased you with few shallow thrusts before doing what the shot demanded, his thick cock spearing into you in a way that made you gasp for air and clench at the sheer size of him.

He was grunting, saying something which fitted Tom’s storyline, but all you could do was take him. You were focusing on breathing, on reacting, you had no memory of what the script had said. You could barely remember his name. His fingers on your clit were giving you plenty of reason to forget everything, surprisingly dexterous as he fucked into you with the same pace as those tight little circles which were driving you closer and closer to forgetting you were on camera.

“Go on, sweetheart.”

That wasn’t in the script. It wasn’t even for the microphones. As he fucked you into the chaise, one hand bracing and the other working your clit like it was actually part of his job, Michael whispered only to you. And fuck, you could have sworn that ‘sweetheart’ sounded identical to how Tom said it.

You tried. You tried to be professional, to wait for instruction to fake an orgasm, but damn it Michael was good. He was pounding into you and pleasuring your clit and talking like that, and before you knew it he was pausing slammed inside of you so you could moan through an orgasm. With your eyes screwed shut and your senses overwhelmed, you clung to him, desperate for him not to stop with those damn circles on your clit, damn whatever the script called for.

In your most impressive acting to date, you remembered to moan the character’s name as your pussy continued to clench and spasm, Michael pulling out to finish messily on your stomach as you remained in a daze.

When the crew finally called cut you barely had the energy to sit upright.

And through it all, you wondered if Tom liked the shoot.

There was a typical shuffle as the crew packed up, as Tom paid the actors and bid them goodbye, typical chatter and panting and offers of water and showers which everyone declined. It took less than quarter of an hour for everyone to leave, and you barely moved from the chaise. In a robe, clutching an unopened water bottle, you were left in a silent room. The locking of the door, Tom’s footsteps. The dull ache inside you and the numbness that seemed to overcome you during every shoot lately.

Ever since that one damn solo video –

“Can I join you?”

“Of course.”

You moved your robe to let Tom side beside you, wincing for his nice trousers as he sat beside you on the sweat-stained burgundy velvet. You knew you should talk, say something lighthearted, move to face him, something.Your mind felt a million miles away as the cushion beneath you shifted with Tom’s weight, his solid body faintly comforting beside you.

“This needs cleaning,” he mused, no real urgency in his tone.

He was testing the waters.

Reply, you mind screamed. Your face fell to your hands, a deep sigh leaving your lungs. Tom fidgeted, fingers on the velvet between you, not quite ready to reach out.

“Are you okay, love?”

“Tired.”

One strong arm wrapped around you, making your robe shift against your warm skin, and you leant into Tom without a second though.

“What’s wrong?”

His voice dropped to a murmur, and you wanted to cry. And you weren’t sure why. Fuck.

“I’m really not sure,” you admitted, “I don’t know, Tom.”

Your voice caught as you spoke, tears threatening your eyes, and you could practically feel the change in Tom as realised how upset you were. His whole body shifted, pulling you against him, leaning back on the chaise and holding you to his side. You turned your face against the plane of his chest, makeup no-doubt ruining his white shirt, leaning your entire upper body on him.

And to your horror, you realised you were crying.

Tom said nothing. He just held you while you ruined his shirt with slow, quiet tears.

Then it was over. Out of your system. And Tom was still there, warm and strong and underneath you. You cleared your throat, pushing off him until you were just leaning against him, sitting under your own strength.

For the brief second you could looked to his face, you saw open worry on his features. You looked away again quickly, guilt filling you at the distress you were causing him. You wiped at your eyes, embarrassed. It had been minutes, but you had sobbed on him, still reeking of sex, barely covered by a robe. You tried to be subtle as you hid your face from him.

“How is this my life,” you muttered, pleasantly surprised as Tom broke out into a nervous laugh.

He stopped as you glanced at him, but you shot him a smile, careful to try and rebuild your sense of stability as he watched you. And not be an emotional wreck. You winced as you shuffled in your seat, twisting so you could talk.

“Overwhelming?”

You nodded.

“That’s an understatement.”

“You did brilliantly today,” he told you earnestly, “I’m sorry it was such a long shoot. One of those overproduced ones today, you know. Too many moving parts.”

You smiled, trying to conceal your amusement.

“I am well aware.”

“Right.”

You loved the pink dusting his cheeks as he looked down to his lap, a self-depreciating laugh on his lips.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “if it makes you feel any better, I think I’m going to be editing this for the rest of my life. We’ve almost run out of SD cards, there was so much footage.”

You snorted.

“It’ll be, like, three hours editing max.”

“It’ll be forever,” he whined, “I’m going to die editing.”

He was being a drama queen, one hand on his face and the other wrapped around your shoulder as he acted up. Trying to make you laugh. Just the sweetness of the gesture was enough to make you feel better.

“We can do it together, grab some takeaway, make a day of it,” you offered.

Tom looked ready to argue, to give you more time off, but instead his shoulders softened and he nodded.

“That sounds great, love.”

For a second the two of you looked around the studio, the empty space and the dents in the floor which had accumulated over the years, the white walls and the scattered equipment. The strange space which had started to feel like a second home, after all the time you’d spent here together.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

His words were quiet, laced with concern that he tried to dress in a light-hearted cadence, lips near the crown of your head as he asked.

“Overwhelmed,” you reassured him, “just tired. I just got a bit emotional. I’ll be fine, though. Just needed a cry, I think.”

“I can understand that.”

You wondered if he could. If he’d let you be there for him, comfort him like he’d comforted you. You hoped he would. The smudge of your makeup on his shirt was barely noticeable, and he batted you away as you tried to rub at it.

“It’ll come out.”

“It won’t,” you promised, and Tom rolled his eyes.

“It can go to the costume department then.”

“’Department’,” you snorted, gesturing to the tiny props room.

Tom’s hand on your shoulder tightened playfully, a more pleasant quiet settling over the two of you this time, both of you lost in thought. He interrupted your daydreaming suddenly, with an awkward clearing of his throat and a roll of his shoulders before he spoke.

“Can you be honest with me? It won’t affect how incredibly highly I think of your skill.”

You knew the question Tom was about to ask, and frankly you were surprised he had brought it up at all. But you sighed, nodded against him. Your pussy still ached.

“Yes?”

“Did Michael make you… orgasm? At the end there?”

You nodded, lips pressed tightly together, and waited for Tom’s reaction. It was understated. He pulled his arm a little tighter around your shoulder.

“Wow.”

His response made you laugh, and he joined you, astounded.

“Good for Michael.”

“I know, right? I hope you paid him a bonus.”

Tom huffed.

“For distracting my lead? I don’t think so.”

“’Distracting?’” you teased, “I think you mean ‘helping’. You know I’m not that good at acting.”

“Nonsense,” he chided.

You shoved your shoulder against his slightly, and he exhaled dramatically in complaint, though you were sure he’d barely felt it. His thumb snaked further across your shoulder, kneading into the tense muscle of your neck. He was being serious again, and you felt yourself stiffening even under the touch of his hand.

“I, um, I owe you an apology. I should have consulted you more on the script. Checked what you were okay with, let you choose actors. And the budget… it’s over. I think it’s worth it but I –”

His hand had stilled on your neck, and you found it hard to distract yourself from the feeling of it against your robe.

“Tom it’s fine. Just… don’t do it again, you know?”

“Of course.”

He really meant it. You loved that about Tom. He always really meant it. That made it more fun to tease him, too.

“Although I do enjoy you going so easy on me recently,” you teased, knee bumping his.

You felt his chuckle as clearly as you heard it, tinged with awkwardness at being caught.

“You’re getting famous these days, can’t have you running off to someone else because I didn’t treat you well enough.”

“Tom…”

“I’m serious!” he protested, and you realised suddenly that he was really worried.

Worried you would leave him. Professionally, of course.

“Besides,” he continued, “why would I make you do anything worse than you have to?”

He wasn’t just talking about the books. Those emails from the BDSM studio had shaken him more than you’d realised. He’d read the second offer, raising his eyebrows at the number after you left your phone flat on the desk, and you wished he hadn’t seen it.

You half expected him to start forcing cash into your hands before you left, he was so desperate to compete. But you didn’t work with him for the money.

“This is my job, Tom. I’ll do whatever I have to.”

He sighed.

“I know, and you’re amazing at it, don’t get me wrong. But you shouldn’t have to do more than you want. Your numbers are great, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep going. We can get more people on board, you can work less – “

You frowned, and he picked up on your worry immediately.

“I’m not firing you! I just think, you’re so good off camera too, and we make so much…”

Fidgeting on the chaise until you could speak face to face, you found his forehead lined with worry, and insecurity painting his face which didn’t suit him in the slightest.

“I’ll tell you if I’m unhappy,” you promised, “but I don’t need to be wrapped in cotton wool, I’m fine.”

He didn’t believe you. You didn’t believe you. As his thumb started to smooth across your shoulder soothingly, you tried not to think too much about why.

“I don’t want you being uncomfortable – or worse – when you don’t have to be.”

You cleared your throat, coughing as you swallowed awkwardly, and winced at the immediate distress on Tom’s face.

You knew both of you were reminded of the same moment, of Tom rushing into a shot, of the actor who’d accidentally gone too far, not noticing he was ramming his cock into your throat too hard until you gagged and coughed and coughed. You’d been watery-eyed and coughing an hour later, long after Tom had called the shoot off and wrapped you in a robe, and then into his arms. He’d pulled you close on the couch in his office, muttering apologies into your hair until you hadn’t wanted to hear the word sorry ever again, your voice hoarse as you promised and promised it wasn’t his fault.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but both of you had almost quit that day.

Your throat had hurt for weeks. Tom had been angry for longer, blaming himself as though something a thousand times worse had happened. On the chaise, he was holding you like that again.

Like you needed his comfort. His protection.

You often wondered if it was the other way around. Like he needed to feel like he was protecting you.

“We don’t have to do that anymore,” he soothed, “we can just let you enjoy shoots. I know they’re work but –

One word stuck like shrapnel into your chest.

We.

On the chaise, Tom was reaching for your water bottle, opening it for you and silently imploring you to drink. If only for his sanity.

Between gulps you insisted: “I’m fine.”

He didn’t believe you.

“Go and shower, love. I’ll drive you home.”

[spacegirl-daydreams]

I searched for a YouTube DJ for years and when I found him 9 years had gone by. This is the story.

If you’re a maladaptive daydreamer than you know how important your music playlist is. Around early 2009 I had gotten into underground musicians who remixed video game music on YouTube. Being still a kid and new to the online world it was exciting for me to find alternate versions of my favorite songs, and it didn’t take long for me to implicate them into my dreamworld. However there was this particular song that i considered my favorite. I could literally put myself in any situation, any scenario with it, and would be satisfied with listening on loop for long periods of time.

Back then I did have a playlist of music saved on Windows Media Player, but for some reason I didn’t download the song onto my computer. YouTube was still in its early stages back then, and having a YouTube playlist wasnt abnormal in these times. I simply just had it in my favorites. I remember onetime a teacher had got on to me for my headphones being too loud in the library. Fun times~

Fast forward it’s around October 2010, and I’m searching for the song in my playlist, but I couldn’t find it. I looked up and down for the video, but it was nowhere to be found. That’s where reality set in, the guy had deleted his channel.

I was devastated.

I never saved the video, and it was never uploaded again from any other channel. Ever so often I would check to see if he would make a return, but he never did. I would also check to see if anyone else might have uploaded it, but nothing.

Now I have to mention this point so that you may have a bit more understanding.

Back then there was a community of guys/girls who remixed music, and most of them were popular among the videogameing community. Around late 2010 a YouTube channel had appeared honoring those musicians for their hard work, and awesome tracks. This channel would post their work (with permission I think) to this channel. I started to reach out to the channel, and other musicians who were affiliated with the guy. I was concerned because he was rather popular, and everyone seemed to like him.

None of them knew who I was talking about. It was as if he had vanished and everyone forgot about him. After not finding anything on his whereabouts I sort of just gave up, but through out the years I would remember the song and try to find him yet again.

I did it all.. (I’m embarrassed to share this) I used multiple search engines. (Bing, Yahoo, Google) you name it.

Searched the song, his channel name, and little bits of information would pop up. I would find old instant messenger accounts, old social media platforms he long deserted etc. It was always the same thing for years. I know at this point it seems like I was an obsessed stalker, but I didn’t want to cause him any harm or distress, I was just a concerned fan who couldn’t accept the fact that he vanished. It was like interacting with him, and his music created a safe space in my life for happiness, and when I lost it.. it was like a piece of that was ripped away from me.

I’ve already wrote a lot so I will try to wrap it up the best way I can. So around 2019 I was bored and surfing the web, and decided I would give it another go just for the heck of it. I didn’t mention this earlier, but the guy was asain, and I’m only mentioning it because that was the key to finding him.

Despite all the years of searching on google for his channel I had came across an asain site that for some reason had YouTube’s videos on it. There I found a video of his friend, which lead to me finding the friend’s YT channel. The videos were old and outdated, but at the time this particular DJ was trying to get his music known. I found videos of him and his friend just being silly and dancing.

—— Under this is where I start to feel really awkward sharing this with you guys. ——

I start looking at the comments hoping to find something of his, but I didn’t see anything. I had gave up on looking, but ended up subscribing to the channel just in case I wanted to try again. A few days later something told me to check the other videos, and that’s where I saw it.

The guy had an old comment on one of the videos from a new channel. I clicked it and found out that the guy actually never left YouTube.. he had just left the community. None of his old videos were on the channel, so of course that song wasn’t there. I was excited that I had found him, and decided to send him a comment on one of his videos.

I asked him if he was *so and so* and if he was thanked him for his contribution to the music community. He actually responded and thanked me, but he wondered how I found him.

I couldn’t tell him..

I couldn’t tell him.. oh ever since I found out you deleted your channel I’ve been searching for you off and on for nine years. I seriously couldn’t believe it had been nine years since the search had begin, and I felt so embarrassed. What’s funny about it all was that it didn’t feel like nine years. So much time had gone by and I didn’t realize it. That’s the thing with maladaptive daydreaming. You lose so much time in your own reality..

My best friend at the time didn’t judge me though, and congratulated my persistence. I think that was the only incident that I was ever persistent in something. I ended up subscribing to his channel and left him alone. As I was saying before my goal wasn’t to stalk him, I just really wanted that song back.. Maybe that’s what it was all along. That piece of peace it gave. I just craved it for all those years.

I had to suck it up and finally let it go. I had to let that part of the past go. He had moved on with his life, and probably hasn’t thought about it since then.

If you didn’t realize by now I have a hard time letting go of things that brought me joy, because I have a deep fear that I won’t find happiness anywhere else. I’m working on it though. It’s been a tough 2 years, but I’m making progress.

Sorry for the wall of text, I just felt that if I shared this with the community that I could get it off my chest. A weight has been lifted sort of.

Thanks for reading and if you got this far share your thoughts! Have you had a similar experience?

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Kiss Twenty-Six

Read it on AO3: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: ...lazily.

“I have an idea,” Marinette announced as they sat at the kitchen table staring down at the chessboard between them.

“I should hope so;” Adrien snickered, “otherwise, I’m going to checkmate you in two moves.”

“No.” She looked up. “I meant…about your father.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow, puzzled. “Ohime-sama, I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit more specific. Are we talking about how my father is controlling or how he’s too busy to be bothered with me or the fact that he doesn’t want us to go public about our relationship or that he’s too hung up on my mom still to admit that he has feelings for Nathalie or—”

“—About his opposition to us publicly dating,” she cut him off before he could really get started. “I can see his points about people accusing me of gold-digging and trying to get an advantage in the fashion industry, and I know that he’s right that it will be a lot of unwanted attention for me and I’ll probably get hate mail from your fans and people will invade my privacy and all that, but…I also know how important it is to you for us to be official so we can attend events as a couple and go on over-the-top romantic dates and get some of your rabid admirers to simmer down.”

“So what are you thinking?” he prompted, head tipping to the side in curiosity.

Her mouth stretched into an impish smirk. “We force his hand.”

He went owl-eyed at the thought of getting Gabriel Agreste to do anything he didn’t want to do. “Oh? And how are we going to accomplish that?”

“We get the media to declare us a couple. It’s not our fault if people see us out together and make assumptions,” she reasoned innocently.

A wide grin spread across Adrien’s lips. “Like that time we went to see my mom’s movie together.”

“Only not in my pyjamas this time,” Marinette groaned, remembering the months of humiliation she’d suffered through as a young teen.

“Your pyjamas were adorable,” he assured. “I saved those pictures of us, you know.”

She lost her train of thought as she gaped at him. “You did?”

“Mmhm.” He nodded with an embarrassed smile, cheeks warming. “I mean, it was really a big deal that you ditched your plans with the girls to help me get to the theatre to see the movie. It meant a lot to me, and I enjoyed running around Paris with you. That day was full of good memories, so I wanted a souvenir…. And…I mean…as previously discussed, I think I’ve always been a little bit in love with you, even if I didn’t know it, so…”

He looked up and shrugged, the picture of cherubic wholesomeness.

“You are the most precious,” Marinette cooed, leaning forward to kiss him and knocking over the chess pieces in the process.

When they pulled back, they looked down at the carnage of pawns, rooks, knights, and bishops.

“Well, I mean…you were going to checkmate me in two moves anyway,” Marinette reasoned. “Let’s just say that you won.”

Adrien pursed his lips, deliberating for a moment before deciding, “That’s fair. So what’s your grand plan to get the media to declare us dating?”

“Well…” Marinette quickly set the chess pieces back up in their starting positions and got out her phone. “Take a selfie with me.”

“O…kay.” He shrugged and did what she asked, smiling brightly and wrapping an arm around her, head tipping in towards hers, even though he wasn’t sure what this had to do with the plan.

Marinette quickly uploaded the picture to her Instagram and added the caption, “Hanging out with my good friend @adrienagrestebrand”.

She turned to him and smiled toothily. “We play innocent, but if enough pictures of us in couple-like situations start circulating online, people will talk. If enough people talk, it will eventually become something your father will have to publicly address. Maybe he’ll go on the record as saying that we’re not a couple, but if pictures of us acting like a couple keep popping up, no one will believe him, and we win.”

Adrien’s eyes went as wide as his smile as he shook his head and beamed at his ingenious girlfriend. “You are the most clever, amazing person ever. This is wonderful, Marinette!”

“I’m glad you approve,” she chuckled, looking pleased with herself. “I know it’s been bothering you this past month, us still being a secret and not able to publicly date, so…I’ve been trying to come up with a solution.”

He took her hands in his and gave them a squeeze, staring into her eyes with pure adoration. “Ohime-sama, you are the best. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

A hint of concern came into his gaze, turning his exhilarated expression into a worried frown. “…Are you sure you want to do this, though?” he inquired tentatively, not wanting to dissuade her but knowing that he had to be honest. “My father does have a point about people who are going to invade your privacy and send you death threats and call you an opportunist gold digger. Life in the public eye kind of sucks, and I don’t want you diving into this for my sake thinking that it’s going to be okay because it’s not, Marinette. Dating me and dealing with all of that is going to be awful and scary and—”

“—It’s not dating you that’s going to be bad,” she quickly corrected. “Dealing with your fans and the media is what’s going to be awful. Dating you is a dream come true, Adrien, and definitely worth whatever I have to put up with.”

“Oh,” he breathed, stunned by the certainty of her response.

“I’m sure about this,” she insisted with a dazzling smile. “You are one of the few things in my life I’ve always been sure about.”

“Oh,” he repeated, his face hurting he was smiling so hard.

She leaned in to give his cheek a kiss. “I’m going to work with our friends to make this happen. We’ll hit it really hard throughout the week, and, then, next Saturday we’ll strike the finishing blow. You’re free for the day until your interview with Nadja in the evening, right?”

He blinked at her curiously. “Yeah. Why?”

 The following day, Marinette kidnapped Adrien to take Jagged Stone’s crocodile Fang out for a walk around the Square de la Tour Saint-Jacques. They took photos cuddling Fang on one of the blue benches with the tower in the background and Fang licking their faces and them laughing together and posted them on their Instagrams with tags talking about how fun it was spending time with such a good friend.

Jagged took some pictures and posted them on social media too, and the general public got plenty of shots of Adrien Agreste and a girl who looked somewhat familiar even if they couldn’t place her walking a famous crocodile.

Monday, Alya just so happened to take some pictures of Chat Noir for the Ladyblog that captured Marinette and Adrien having a picnic in the Place des Vosges in the background.

That same day, Adrien’s Instagram featured photos of the macarons from the picnic and a shoutout to Tom and Sabine’s.

Tuesday, Marinette and Adrien posted photos of their Chemistry study session along with captions about how learning was more fun with a friend.

Wednesday, Chloé posted photos of her newest Queen Bee-inspired manicure with the Pont des Arts as the background.

Clearly, between Chloé’s thumb and index finger, Adrien and Marinette could be seen standing at the railing of the bridge, laughing and smiling at something one or the other had said.

Thursday, Kitty Section updated their website to include new pictures in their photo gallery. One didn’t have to look all that closely to spot Marinette and Adrien in the background.

He had his arms around her as they stood at the keyboard and he positioned her hands to show her how to play the instrument.

Jagged Stone and Clara Rossignol included links to the Kitty Section site in Twitter posts.

Friday, an anonymous source sent a picture of Adrien and Marinette sitting on the school steps, holding hands to the president of Adrien’s fanclub, and “#Who is Adrien’s New Girlfriend?!” started trending.

 On Saturday, Adrien met Marinette at the Trocadero for the grand finale.

“So, what’s the plan, Boss?” he greeted as she came trotting up to him.

“I’m finally going to take you on that ridiculously romantic date you’ve always wanted,” she informed as she touched her cheek to his for the usual air kisses to either side of his face.

“You’re going to what now?” He stared at her in amazement, afraid to believe that the day had actually come.

Just then, a pedicab pulled up to the curb, and Marinette smirked. “Our ride’s here.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped. “We’re going on a romantic rickshaw bicycle ride?”

She laughed fondly at the excitement on his face and nodded. “Yep. Come take a selfie and post it on your Instagram with a caption about how you’re spending the day with one of your best friends and you’re so glad that we’re friends and all that.”

Adrien happily acquiesced.

Their pedicab took them down along the Seine and past the Grand Palais, Petit Palais, Place de la Concorde, Tuileries, and the Louvre on their way to the Pont des Arts.

Adrien took a few more shots for his Instagram en route, including several with his arm around Marinette’s shoulders, their faces close together to fit in the frame.

“You know,” Marinette chuckled as she snuggled up to Adrien, “I’ve had this romantic bike ride scenario planned out for years now.”

“What?” he laughed incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Yes.” She gave his arm a light smack. “I seriously have. Remember my ridiculous crush on you?”

“I still can’t believe you liked me,” Adrien snickered, shaking his head in awe. “I could have had you this whole time if I weren’t such an oblivious dimwit.”

“Be nice,” Marinette scolded.

“No,” Adrien pouted. “I’m seriously angry at myself. If I had gotten a clue back then, I could have had the most awesome girlfriend on the face of the planet. Instead, I spent my youth feeling like an unlovable screwup. I will never forgive myself,” he snorted, only half joking.

Marinette leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. “You’re very lovable and definitely not a screwup,” she whispered, hoping their cyclist-driver was concentrating on the road and the music playing through his earbuds rather than their conversation.

“Tell me about this romantic bicycle ride scheme fourteen-year-old Marinette came up with,” Adrien entreated. “That will cheer me up and make me forget what a loser I am. I love fourteen-year-old Marinette’s schemes. They’re brilliant. Marino is my favourite so far.”

Marinette cringed. “Fourteen-year-old Marinette’s schemes were horrendous, shameful failures…but if it’ll make you feel better… The plan was for Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylène, and Alix to help me make it so that your bodyguard couldn’t park where he was supposed to pick you up after a photoshoot.”

Adrien arched an eyebrow and gave her a devious smile. “And then you were going to lie in wait for me to sweep me off my feet with a romantic rickshaw bicycle ride?”

Marinette nodded, shrugging hopelessly. “We were going to ride to the Pont des Arts to get soulmate ice cream from André, and Alix was going to throw rose petals to create the right atmosphere.”

“I would have loved that,” Adrien whispered, touched that she had put so much thought and effort into a surprise for him.

Marinette shook her head. “You would have had fun, but you wouldn’t have appreciated it as much as you do now. You didn’t see me in a romantic light back then, so it just would have been a memorable outing with a friend.”

Adrien reached down and slipped his hand into hers. “You have no idea how special all those times spent hanging out with you were to me. I grew up bored and lonely, so your friendship really was—is—a precious gift. Things don’t have to be seen in a romantic light to be meaningful…and it would have really meant a lot to take a bike ride and get ice cream with you.”

“Oh,” she breathed softly, admiring the soft glow he seemed to emit. She nodded, feeling like she understood better now.

“So what happened with the scheme?” He pulled her attention back to the present. “Why didn’t I get my romantic rickshaw ride and André’s ice cream?”

Marinette sighed. “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe the plan was a little too overly complicated. There was some miscommunication. Things didn’t play out the way I’d planned. There was an akuma attack. You know. The usual.”

Adrien winced. “Ouch. I’m sorry. That really sucks, especially when you put so much effort into planning everything.”

“Oh, it gets worse,” Marinette groaned. “I ran into you after the akuma attack, and you offered to give me a ride…and I told you no because I was going to get couscous.”

He stared at her openmouthed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” she grumbled bitterly.

He tried not to laugh but ultimately failed. “I don’t remember this at all.”

“Thank God for small mercies,” she mumbled. “I hated myself for days after that.”

“You really couldn’t talk to me at all, could you?” he snickered, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Nope,” she sighed. “Mere proximity to you made my verbal eloquence plummet. It’s a wonder you didn’t think I was some insane weirdo from all the stuff I said to you.”

He shrugged, pulling her in closer and nuzzling her hair. “I thought I made you nervous because you respected my father’s work. Sure, you seemed a little quirky, but I didn’t really know how people were supposed to behave because I hadn’t been around people my age before. I saw you act normal around other people, so I knew it was a problem with me or something. The Marinette I saw interacting with other people was really cool and selfless and brave. I admired you and wanted us to be better friends.”

Marinette blew out a long breath, shaking her head. “Oh, my sweet, sweet bean. You’re too precious. Too pure for this earth…. Thank you for being you.”

“Right back at you.” He gave her an affectionate squeeze.

 The pedicab stopped and let them off at the Pont des Arts so that they could get André’s sweetheart ice cream and take a selfie with it and the love locks secured to the bridge railing and light posts.

Adrien captioned the photo, “There’s nothing better than sharing ice cream with a friend”.

Marinette giggle-snorted. “Yep. Nothing romantic going on here. Just platonic friends who happen to enjoy sharing ice cream intended for couples on the most romantic bridge in the City of Love.”

“I actually think the Pont Alexandre III is the most romantic bridge in Paris, especially at night when it’s all lit up,” Adrien remarked. “The footbridges over the Canal Saint-Martin are really quaint and romantic too.”

Marinette hummed in thought, mentally storing Adrien’s feedback for use at a later date.

“We should get a picture of us feeding ice cream to one another,” Adrien snickered, going to sit on one of the benches. “Do you think that would be laying it on a little thick?”

“No, that’s perfect,” she assured, joining him. “Here. Say ‘ah’.”

It was then that they noticed the passersby documenting the romantic moment and sharing it online for them.

“Want to go someplace more private?” he suggested.

She shook her head. “It’s okay. They’re not hurting anything, and the whole point is to be visible.”

He bit the inside of his cheek. “So long as you’re okay with the attention.”

She smiled, lightly touching his hand. “Thanks, Adrien.”

He returned the smile with a wink. “Any time, Ohime-sama.”

After they finished their ice cream, they headed to the Pont Neuf station and took the Métro, getting off at Jussieu.

They walked hand-in-hand to the Jardin des Plantes, stopping to look in shop windows and browse through the boxes of old books on the tables outside of shops.

When they got to the park, they strolled leisurely, admiring the autumn foliage and enjoying one another’s company.

“I wish our cat were here,” Marinette sighed with a wistful smile as she looked up at the changing leaves.

“Nyan-chan would like today’s date,” Adrien affirmed, giving her hand a squeeze. “He’d be happy to know you’re missing him even though you’re with someone as magnificent and funny as me.”

Marinette broke out in a laugh.

“Did I mention my charming personality?” Adrien added with an eyebrow waggle.

“Are you jealous, Beau Gosse?” she snickered, bumping his shoulder with her own.

“Why would I be?” Adrien pouted. “It’s not like the woman I love is thinking about other men when she’s with me or anything.”

Marinette shook her head, still laughing. “You can whine to your cat boyfriend about it tonight when he comes over for snuggling.”

“Oh, believe me. I will,” he snorted. “Hey. What do you think of a picture of us holding hands? Maybe just a picture of our clasped hands? Is that too heavy-handed?”

Marinette groaned. “You’re just as bad as Chat Noir with puns.”

 Their next and final stop was across the street from the Jardin des Plantes at the restaurant attached to the Grande Mosquée de Paris where they ordered vegetable couscous to share along with the restaurant’s famed mint tea and a sampler platter of their savory desserts.

“I think this is the best couscous I’ve ever had,” Marinette moaned happily, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth.

Adrien laughed into his napkin, snapping a picture of her for his own private consumption. “Nino did say that they have really legit food here. He said that his mom’s home cooking is better but that this place tastes like the food he eats when visiting family in Morocco.”

Marinette hummed appreciatively through her full mouth, and Adrien shook his head. “I’m going to post a picture of you pigging out and gush about how radiant my good friend Marinette is while enjoying a good meal.”

She glared at him, her narrowed eyes threatening bodily harm.

“I’m sorry, but you are so cute when you’re stuffing your face. Like a chipmunk,” he defended himself.

Marinette swallowed and replied. “Wow. Way to make a girl feel unsexy, Agreste.”

Adrien winced. “Sorry. I was just playing. You’re adorable, Marinette. Did I ruin everything?”

With a sigh, Marinette got up and went to sit on the bench seat beside him, fishing out her phone. “Smile, Bishi,” she teased, using Chat Noir’s nickname for Adrien, her voice husky in his ear.

Her free hand slipped down to give his knee a squeeze, and the resulting picture showed Marinette smiling puckishly at the camera while Adrien was captured in the middle of his turn to look at her with a flustered expression.

“I like the face you’re making,” she chuckled as she reviewed the photo. “You look like I just made some obscene suggestion and you’re equal parts horrified and intrigued.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun pushing my buttons.” Adrien sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile.

They took another picture, one with them both smiling innocently even though Marinette was practically sitting in Adrien’s lap. They included a few pictures of the food and made sure to rave about how good it was and what a nice time they were having together as friends.

 Adrien had barely walked in the door when Nathalie descended upon him.

“Your father isn’t pleased,” she reported blandly, the hint of a grin hovering in the corner of her mouth. “Did you have fun today? You and Miss Dupain-Cheng look very happy together.”

Adrien beamed. “I did. And we are. Thank you, Nathalie.”

A smile flickered across Nathalie’s lips, there one second and gone the next, replaced by her usual impassive expression. “Back to business. Your father isn’t pleased.”

“Where is my father anyway?” Adrien sighed, glancing at the atelier door.

“London,” she supplied. “He had to leave this morning to attend to the closing of a deal in person.”

“He didn’t even say goodbye,” Adrien grumbled, heading for his room to change for the interview with Nadja scheduled that evening.

Nathalie followed to pick out a suitable outfit.

“It was a last-minute trip,” she offered, pretending that that was a sufficient excuse, that this wasn’t just the latest installment in the trend of Gabriel floating in and out of Adrien’s life without stopping to actually be a part of it.

“Oh. I see,” Adrien replied disinterestedly, pretending that it didn’t hurt to be so insignificant.

Nathalie pursed her lips. “…What was your favourite thing that you did today?”

Adrien’s smile came back as he launched into a recap of the pedicab ride and how much it meant to him that Marinette had been planning romantic surprises for him all along.

Nathalie conveniently forgot to bring up the fact that Gabriel wanted to talk to Adrien before the interview. She later apologized profusely to Gabriel for letting it slip her mind. She told him that they’d been in too much of a rush to get Adrien to the studio and get him through hair and makeup.

All the way there, she kept Adrien talking about his eventful day, distracting him from the reality that was his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father.

  “So…Adrien,” Nadja purred toward the end of the interview. “Judging from your Instagram, you had an eventful date today.”

Adrien made his eyes go wide, pretending to be surprised at her word choice.

“Tell us all about your girlfriend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she prompted, leaning forward in her seat.

Adrien blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Oh, that wasn’t a date. Marinette and I were just hanging out. She’s a good friend; we’re not officially dating.”

Nadja’s perfectly waxed eyebrow inched up, and she shot him a look of clear disbelief. “I don’t mean to imply that you’re lying, Adrien, but we have some candids from your outing.”

Behind them, a slideshow of all the soft looks Adrien had directed Marinette’s way that day began to play.

“Do you look at all your friends with such a gooey, lovesick expression?” she challenged.

Adrien laughed and shook his head. “You misunderstand me. I said that Marinette and I aren’t officially a couple. I never said I wasn’t head over heels in love with her.”

Nadja’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes lit up.

Adrien could practically see her getting ready to pounce on the scoop he’d just served her.

Nadja turned to the camera. “You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen: Paris’s most eligible bachelor, Adrien Agreste, in love!” She whipped back around to Adrien. “Tell us all about her. What do you like about Marinette? What about her made you fall in love?”

He averted his gaze, smiling bashfully. “Well…I mean…we’ve been friends since I started school, and Marinette has always been…just…wonderful. Everything about her is wonderful. She’s smart, funny, selfless, thoughtful, clever, a good leader… I’ve admired her for a long time. …And, obviously, she’s gorgeous, but, if you’ve got functioning eyes, you can tell that much on your own. It’s her personality that really made me fall for her, her compassion, her enthusiasm, her kindness. I think I’ve been a little bit in love with her from the very beginning; it just took me a while to realize that the way I felt about her wasn’t just admiration and friendship.”

“Have you told her how you feel?” Nadja pressed.

Adrien nodded. “In the spring…but she was seeing someone else at the time.”

Nadja winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Adrien chuckled self-deprecatingly. “Ouch is right.”

“But what about now?” she prompted. “The way you phrased that she was seeing someone else in the spring sort of implied that she’s free now. Why aren’t you two dating?”

Adrien frowned, his face flipping through a series of conflicted expressions, making it seem as if he were reluctant to answer. “…Well…my father doesn’t think it’s a good idea.”

Nadja’s eyes narrowed. “Your father won’t let you date the woman you love?”

Adrien waved his hands hastily, trying to correct her. “No, no! It’s not like that. My father hasn’t forbidden me from dating her or anything. It’s just…he’s concerned. Marinette has always wanted to be a fashion designer, and she’s a fan of my father’s work, so Father is afraid of what people might say about her for dating me. Marinette is extremely talented, and Father doesn’t want her talent discounted or questioned because people think she’s receiving preferential treatment or using me to advance her career. He’s concerned that overzealous fans might invade her privacy or start sending her hate mail or something crazy like that,” Adrien explained.

Nadja nodded, letting Adrien continue of his own volition, not wanting to interrupt.

“My father cares about me a lot. He’s very protective of me, so…he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Marinette and me to date, and I can see his reasoning. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to Marinette because of me…but…at the same time…” He sighed and looked away.

“At the same time?” Nadja encouraged gently.

Adrien shook his head and shrugged. “The past few years have been really hard for my family…since my mother disappeared, I mean. My parents were soulmates, so I know Mother’s disappearance was a huge blow to Father. I know it’s been really hard raising me without her. I remind him of her, so it’s difficult for him to be around me sometimes.”

Nadja frowned, heart aching as she thought of her own child.

“I understand, of course,” Adrien stressed. “But even though I understand, it’s still hard. …And Father’s always so busy with work. His company is important to him. He’s really passionate about designing, and I’m happy that he still has something he loves that much, even though Mother is gone…but I’m alone a lot,” he sighed, looking down at his hands.

“That must be rough for you,” Nadja whispered.

Adrien nodded. “It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re lonely…” He looked up and gave her and the viewers a weak smile. “…but I have a lot of really great friends like Marinette now that I attend public schooling. Their friendship helps a lot…. I still would like to try dating, though,” he added sheepishly. “I’ve always dreamed of finding the kind of love that my parents have.”

Nadja gave a little “Aww”, smiling wide because she knew that her viewership would be eating this up.

“I think Marinette might be the one for me,” Adrien confided, and then his expression turned sad with a hint of longing. “…But I know that my father knows best and that he only wants what’s best for me. Maybe there will come a day when Marinette and I can be together, but I can’t ask her to wait for me, so…”

He gave a helpless shrug.

 They had scarcely made it home when Gabriel called to give Adrien a dressing down, faulting Adrien for coming across as childish, naïve, whiney, and ungrateful.

Adrien took the chastisement with a bowed head and muttered apologies.

He retired to his room for the night where he showered, changed, and headed out to give Alya an interview with Chat Noir.

“Adrien is the sweetest human being I have ever met,” Chat insisted into Alya’s phone camera. “He’s letting his father control his life, and that’s not okay. He’ll be an adult in six months. He should be free to make his own decisions. If he loves Marinette, he shouldn’t have to have his father’s permission to date her.”

“Ladybug said nearly the same thing,” Alya snickered.

Chat blinked dumbly for a beat or two. “She did? You talked to Ladybug about this?”

Alya nodded, still filming. “She left about fifteen minutes before you got here. I had just posted her video on my blog when you arrived. Ladybug is a staunch supporter of Adrienette.”

“…I did not know that,” Chat chuckled, cheeks heating up in pleasure and embarrassment at the thought of his first love adamantly shipping him and his girlfriend.

 By the next morning, #Let Adrienette Date was already trending, and Gabriel was getting strongly worded emails about his interfering with the course of true love.

A protest spontaneously manifested outside the Agreste Mansion.

Adrien’s fanclub mobilized to do anything and everything to ensure that their prince got his happy ending, even if they weren’t entirely certain that Marinette was worthy of him.

Marinette got her first death threat, but the threat was concerning if she ever broke Adrien’s heart and not about her dating him in the first place, so she took cold comfort in that.

Gabriel returned from London Tuesday morning to be met with the madness that was an unstoppable force hell bent on seeing his son in a relationship with the woman he loved.

Gabriel persevered.

Adrien played innocent.

Adrien was grounded.

Chat Noir and Ladybug spoke out about the unfairness of the grounding and Gabriel’s attempts to keep Adrienette apart.

The mob was incensed.

Gabriel stock plummeted.

 On Saturday night, Adrien posted a picture on his Instagram of him leisurely kissing Marinette on her living room couch. The caption read, “Look who’s un-grounded and hanging out with his GIRLFRIEND! Thank you all so much for your love and support. #Adrienette #True Love Wins”.

[cherryeol04]

The Firsts

Summary: No one ever told him that living was going to be so difficult. That there would emotions get couldn’t label and distinguish. He’s just a young boy trying to navigate through life and its unexpected ups and downs.

Genre: Humor, Fluff, smut(?)

Pairings: Oc x Felix, Oc x Changbin, Changbin x Oc x Felix

Warnings: poly relationship, angst in some part, excessive fighting about the MCU.

Parts: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17

A/N: This story has a theme of Firsts. First love, first kiss and many other firsts. Each part can be read on their own and are meant to stand as oneshots. It’s basically a collection of oneshots (little snapshots into my Oc’s life. 😁)

Aiden eyed Changbin hard as the other fiddled with his laptop. The two boys sat in Changbin’s room on a particularly hot summer afternoon. It was the kind of hot that the simple thought of breathing exhausted them, which wouldn’t have been a bad thing had they been at Aiden’s house. His mother always insisted on running the air conditioning during the summertime to keep everyone sane - he sadly couldn’t say the same thing for Changbin’s mom, who insisted they just open the window and let the fresh air in. 

They had toyed with the idea of going somewhere to escape the heat, but anytime either of them thought about walking outside in the sweltering heat they decided against the idea. That’s when Changbin got an oh so great idea, one that Aiden was questioning the sanity of. “How do you even know what sites to go to? Did you like, google it?” He asked, eyes locked on the screen as Changbin pulled up a porn site. Images of naked men and women danced on the screen - most advertisements but the middle portion was dedicated strictly for the videos uploaded to the site. Aiden honestly wasn’t sure if he was turned on or repulsed by some of the lewd positions these men and women were in. 

“Yeah.” Changbin answered, startling Aiden out of his internal debate of if he was going to throw up or not at the site of a woman spread eagle in the thumbnail of a video while Changbin scrolled through. “Haven’t you watched porn before?” 

“I’m a good Christian boy.” Aiden huffed with a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t partake in them sins of the flesh.” The forced exhale of laughter from Changbin had Aiden pouting. 

“Right. This coming from the guy who is making it a habit of waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me about his sexual dreams with Felix. Yeah, good Christian boy my ass.” He retorted and sighed. 

“Shut up! Okay listen, I’ve never thought of doing that okay?” Aiden whined, cheeks flushing with embarrassment because really, he felt like he was a weird kid. He was sure there were plenty of young men who spent their time watching porn and getting off. It was natural, or at least he assumed. 

“Wait.” Changbin shifted beside Aiden on his spot on the bed, eyes staring intently at him and Aiden actually shivered under the gaze - eyes adverting away. “So how do you know you’re gay?” He asked. It was a stupid question, but Aiden would be lying if he said he hadn’t questioned himself about that before. He had researched “how do you know if you’re gay” with safe search on. Maybe that’s what has kept him from seeing porn until now. 

“I mean, I like Felix and I have dreams about him. Doesn’t that make me gay?” Aiden asked confused, though he still refused to look at Changbin. 

“Yeah, but have you ever touched a dick before?” Changbin grunted when Aiden smacked his arm, their eyes locking once more as Aiden frowned.  “I’ve never seen porn before, but I know how to  jack off, idiot.” 

“Yeah, but have you touched someone else’s dick before?” The question had Aiden falling silent as he contemplated if it really mattered if he had touched another guy’s dick or not. Weren’t they all the same? Wasn’t it all the same? Was jacking off not considered a sign of knowing if he was gay?

“No?” He hadn’t meant to sound so unsure because the answer was a definitive no, he had touched no other dicks but his own. And yet he couldn’t help but feel shy and embarrassed for having that answer, a similar feeling he got when he was called to answer a question in class and was wrong. “Have you?”

“No. But I’m not the gay one.” Changbin shot back and Aiden groaned, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked towards the screen again and sighed. “So you’ve never watched porn and never touched another dick? Wow, you’re just an unconfirmed gay virgin.” Changbin teaser, a light laugh leaving him, but when Aiden didn’t laugh with him and avoided eye contact, he stopped and his smile fell. 

“Aiden? Hey, you know it’s okay right? I’m just teasing.”

“I know!” Aiden said quickly, but his insides were swimming with such a mixture of emotions that he wasn’t entirely sure what he felt most, embarrassment, self-pity, arousal even? It was very confusing for him. He jerked when he felt a hand touching his shoulder and he shyly lifted his gaze to meet Changbin’s. 

“Do you wanna, touch mine?” 

The question had Aiden sputtering in shock, eyes wide and cheeks now a darker shade of red than it had been before. “Do what? No! That would be so weird!” He exclaimed. “We’re like best friends.”

“Yeah, and best friends help each other out.” Changbin shrugged. “You know, gotta make sure you’re actually gay before your embarrass yourself in front of Felix.”  Aiden whined at that, but Changbin had a point. It couldn’t hurt, right? After all, Changbin was offering. 

“You’re sure it’s okay?” 

“Yeah, let me just find something that’ll get you off and -“

“What about you? I thought you weren’t gay?” Aiden questioned. 

“Hmmm.” Changbin hummed in thought. “I’m an equal opportunistic person. It’s fine.” He waved his hand at Aiden, his other hand gliding across the trackpad of the laptop to find the ‘gay’ section of the website. He scrolled for a bit after finding it and ended up choosing a video that looked pretty amateurish but the two guys were pretty young and twinkish. Given Aiden’s current crush, he figured these guys would be his type. 

Aiden wasn’t entirely too sure about this half baked plan, yet there was something exciting about it. He wasn’t sure what it was, but the idea of actually touching another dick was appealing if the surge of arousal that ran down his spine was anything to go by. Sitting back against the headboard, his eyes stared at the video that was slowly buffering while Changbin fought to close the six pop-ups about meeting hot singles in their area. 

Grumbling to himself, Changbin finally got the pop-ups closed and the video began playing - volume set low though he swore it was extremely loud. Perhaps it was because they were trying to watch porn in the middle of the day, and Changbin’s mother was out in the backyard tending to her garden. It was risky but thrilling and that alone had him half hard. But he was still hesitant, not sure if he should just whip his dick out now and start touching it. While he wasn’t a stranger to touching himself, it was different when someone else was in the room with him - almost embarrassing. 

Changbin settled next to him, his hand rested on his abdomen and looking so very comfortable and not at all fazed by this situation.  Aiden almost envied how calm and collected he seemed to be and decided that maybe he would just imitate the other; settling himself in the same position as Changbin, eyes moving to focus back on the laptop where the lewd, slurping sounds were spilling from. 

Five minutes or maybe it was 3 hours - Aiden couldn’t be sure - passed, and the video only seemed like it was halfway done. The two men had only recently just started fucking and by now Aiden knew of two different positions you could have sex in. He was learning a lot, but at some point, he had stopped analyzing and started feeling. Feeling how hard he was, how heady the moans from the strangers on the screen sent weird yet pleasant sparks of white-hot something through him. It was a sensation he hadn’t experienced before but he liked it, he liked it a lot. His hand slowly slipped from its resting place on his stomach and casually slid down to the front of his sweats - tented from his straining erection, a small wet spot forming. 

His pinkie was the first to graze it, touch light and airy. He inhaled harshly because fuck if that didn’t feel good. His cock twitched, throbbed and Aiden wanted nothing more than to wrap his hand around it and start stroking. But he stopped himself, unsure if he should because Changbin was still there. And even though he offered to let Aiden touch his dick, he hadn’t uttered a single word since the start of the video. Biting his lower lip, Aiden decided to take a quick peek at Changbin, eyes shifting to the other male and widening at the sight. 

“Hey! You said I could touch it.” He all but whined out, Changbin’s hand stilling over his hard member, head-turning to face him. His cheeks were flushed a bright red, lips parted as soft pants left them. 

“Sorry?” He muttered out breathlessly, a smirk playing across his lips. “You didn’t seem to be interested in doing much. You haven’t even touched yourself.” Changbin noticed and Aiden didn’t know what was hotter, how deep Changbin’s voice sounded when he was horny or the fact the other had actually been watching and waiting for him to start touching himself. Maybe both were equally hot? His cock seemed to think so as it gave another twitch at the thought, a reminder that it was still hard and needed attention. 

“Oh.” It was a pathetic response and Aiden lowered his head in slight shame. The laughter that Changbin let out only added to the shame and embarrassment that he felt and briefly he thought that maybe this was a mistake. He wasn’t given the chance to even suggest that maybe they should stop when he felt fingers close around his wrist with gentle pressure. The movement was hesitant, Changbin giving him the chance to pull his hand away. Aiden let his hand be guided, though, watching with a curious gaze and excitement building up inside him as his hand was placed over the straining erection of his best friend. It was instinct that his fingers curled and closed around it and Aiden marveled at the feeling. 

It was different. He couldn’t explain why or how, but feeling Changbin hot and heavy in his hand was so different than feeling himself in his hand. He really it. Aiden moved his hand, angle awkward as he did his best to stroke the other - going slow at first as he watched Changbin’s expression for confirmation of how he was feeling. His lips were parted, soft moans leaving him as his hand fell from Aiden’s wrist, letting the other do what he wanted. 

“I-Is this okay?” Soft, meek, Aiden would have been embarrassed for just how damn shy and unsure he sounded at that moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was more worried about making Changbin feel good.

“Harder.” Aiden’s hands faltered for a moment, brows furrowing at the words. He found Changbin’s hand resting over his, fingers pressing into Aiden’s to tighten his grip and - oh. “Fuck.”

Who would have figured such a simple word could cause such a burning desire to bubble up in Aiden’s chest, a moan tumbling from his lips. Shit, how embarrassing. Was he supposed to be getting off on the sounds of Changbin? Wasn’t that weird? There were so many questions racing through his mind, but he had to push them to the back and focus. Focus on the hot cock twitching in his hand, precum beading up at the slit. He thought about tasting it but decided against it. That would surely be too weird for friends to do. 

His hand worked over Changbin at a steady and even pace. On each upstroke, he would give a little squeeze just under the head, an action he found that Changbin seemed to like as his head fell back against the headboard with a loud thunk - more sinful moans falling filling the air. 

“Binnie,” he brought his bottom lip between his teeth once more as he watched the way Changbin’s back arched, hips jerking up into his hand, driving his cock faster into his fist. “Changbinnie~” he tried again, successfully getting the other’s attention this time.  Dark eyes clouded with lust locked with his and Aiden gasped sharply, lips pressing together to suppress a moan because fuck if that look wasn’t hot. 

“What is it?” Aiden stuttered, stumbling over his words as he tried to tell Changbin that he wanted to be touched too, but the words simply wouldn’t come out. The corner of Changbin’s lip curled upwards and Aiden pouted, whining in frustration. 

“Me too.” He sounded like a child, wanting to be included and Changbin could only chuckle as he shifted on the bed - weight resting more on his left side as he reached over and ghosted his fingers over Aiden’s crotch, pulling a loud gasp from the other. 

“I barely touched you.”

“Felt good anyway.” Aiden whispered, eyes closing and head-turning away from embarrassment. Changbin laughed lightly, head shaking at the comment. Aiden was truly something else. His hand cupped Aiden, fingers closing around him lightly, stroking slowly. Aiden’s hips jerked up at the touch, loud whimpers and moans leaving him. 

“Be quiet, don’t want my mom to hear.” Changbin scolded lightly, receiving a whine in protest, yet Aiden bit his bottom lip to try and stifle the noises that wanted to spill from him. The pleasure he felt was different. It was stronger, heightened and he could only imagine it was like that because someone else was touching him. It was exhilarating. 

“Binnie.” Aiden breathed, breath hitching as he jerked his hips up again, his cock sliding against the loose fist around his still covered cock. “Please.” He practically begged. Changbin grunted and tightened his grip, but his hand was slow - almost lazy - as he mimicked the pace Aiden had slowed to on his own dick. 

“This better?” 

“No.” It sounded almost like a growl, Aiden’s brows furrowed together in frustration because it certainly wasn’t better. Sure Changbin was stroking him but it wasn’t nearly as fast as Aiden wanted. It was like a small sizzle of fire just under his skin and he needed some winds to fan the flames and make him burn. 

“Maybe you should start moving your hand then.” Changbin quipped, smirk dancing on his lips as Aiden finally turned his head back and stared at Changbin. 

“You’re the worst.” He whispered with a pout and Changbin snorted. 

“Hey, I wanna get off too. So start stroking.” Aiden rolled his eyes, but his grip tightened around Changbin and he started stroking him once more. His mind was focused once more on how Changbin felt in his hand, and the lewd moans he was pulling from the other, so loud against his ear. And he was the one that supposed to be quiet? “Fuck, just like that.” Hot and heavy - breathless - the words were whispered, Changbin’s lips grazing against his ear as he shifted closer to him. The hand left him, and Aiden was close to sobbing and begging for more that it was actually humiliating. But he wanted it so badly. He needed Changbin’s hand on him. 

Thankfully, before any words could leave his lips, Changbin’s hand slipped under the hem of his sweatpants and underwear. The second skin met skin, Aiden could swear he saw heaven because fuck if that didn’t feel amazing. “Binnie.” Aiden whimpered pathetically, his voice nearly inaudible over the loud hiss Changbin let out as Aiden squeezed him just a little too hard. Panting harshly, Changbin gripped Aiden and stroked him quickly, chuckling as Aiden jerked and trembled under his touch. His thumb grazed over the head, smearing each bead of precum that bubbles up.

Aiden groaned as he lowered his head to rest on Changbin’s shoulder, eyes screwed shut as he basked in the pleasure the other was causing. Briefly, he released Changbin’s cock long enough to shift himself into a more comfortable position facing the other. Reaching back down, he grabbed Changbin again and started stroking him - mimicking the way Changbin’s fingers moved over his cock. His movements were quick and not nearly as clean as Changbin’s but it seemed to be enough. Breaths mixed and mingled, moans lingering in the silent room as the two boys worked to get each other off. 

It was embarrassing how quickly Aiden reached his end, the heat in his gut coiling tighter and tighter. “Changbin.” He breathed out, wiggling against the other to grip the other’s wrist with his free hand and failing. “Stop, gonna cum.” Even with the warning, Changbin didn’t seem to have any intention of stopping. It only seemed to spur him on more as he stroked his cock faster. He was twitching and leaking heavily in Changbin’s grasp. “Chang-“

“Cum.” The demand whispered so hotly in his ear had Aiden tensing, his body reacting on its own. Needy whines and choked gasps fell past parted lips as Aiden’s head fell back onto the pillows behind him as he came into Changbin’s hand. It was intense, an orgasm that Aiden didn’t think it was possible he could have. He certainly couldn’t get himself off this well. 

“Fuck, shit.” He gasped out, muscles slowly relaxing as the last wave of ecstasy washed over him. The soft hum from Changbin captured Aiden’s attention and he reminded of what he should have been doing. He started moving his still hand once more, finding the movement slicker and as he looked down he realized Changbin already came - his cock softening in his hand, so he released him. He was at a loss for words now, both of them quiet save for their pants as they rode down their highs. 

Silently, Changbin reached over Aiden and grabbed a few tissues from his bedside table. Cleaning up their messes took a bit of time and in the end, Aiden was sure there was probably some cum that got on the comforter. “So, have fun?” Changbin asked as he tossed the wads of tissues into the trash can.

“Yeah.” Aiden swallowed thickly, tongue swiping against his dry lips in an effort to revitalize them. “That was mind-blowing.” He said and laughed lightly. 

“You think that was mind-blowing? Wait till you actually have sex.” Changbin snorted as he settled back down in his bed, laptop long-forgotten near the end.  “You’ve had sex?” Aiden asked in shock, eyes wide. How could his best friend not tell him something that important?

“No, I’m just saying.” Changbin said quickly. “I hear it’s supposed to be really good.”

“Oh.” Aiden wasn’t at all convinced, but he would let it go for now. 

“So, can you say with 100% conviction that you’re gay?” Changbin asked, reminding Aiden of the whole point of them even jerking each other off. 

“Oh! Yeah.” He said, a goofy smile spreading over his lips. “Dicks are fucking amazing.”

“Are they now?” 

“Completely. I wonder if Felix has a nice dick?” Aiden contemplated, crying out when Changbin shoved him roughly off his bed. “Dude!”

“I just got you off and you’re talking about another man. Not in my bed!” 

Groaning, Aiden sat up and leaned against the side of the bed. He stuck his tongue out at Changbin, laughing. 

“Whatever. Wanna shower?” He asked and Changbin nodded. “Cool, but no butt stuff!” Aiden said as he climbed to his feet, grinning. 

“I swear to god, I’m going to drown you under the showerhead.” Changbin threatened halfheartedly, pulling another laugh from Aiden as the male walked naked from his room. 

“You know you love me!” 

Yeah, maybe he did.

[strikearose]

It’s all about connections (SasuNaru) (Part 1)

Finally, here’s the very first part of the !YoutubeSasuNaru story - the idea’s quite silly but I had fun writing it so hope you guys enjoy it! (English is not my first language so please don’t be too much of a grammar nazi Summary : Sasuke has had that massive crush on a youtuber for years when Rasengan randomly starts going to his class. You can also read it on ff.net and ao3.  Part 1 (here), Part 2 (clic), Part 3 (clic), Part 4 (clic)

Poc.

The ball of paper missed its trajectory and crashed into the corner of the wall, barely half an inch away from the waste basket that originally intended. The student didn’t mind, though - he was far too busy trying to finish his economics presentation that was due for the next day.

Despite the fact that many of his classmates insisted on seeing him as a relentless hardworking student, Sasuke Uchiha was very much like any other normal twenty-one year old boy : a procrastinator at heart. So it was precisely on the night before the big day that he finally decided to finish it, even though he had had all of his vacation time to do so. Well - it would be a lie to say that it would take a superhuman effort to accomplish that task, but unfortunately the young man had another flaw: he was a perfectionist.

Even if he had to pull an all-nighter or give nothing back at all, Sasuke had always refused to be average -  because before (and in addition of) setting high standards for others, he would always set himself very high standards.

The black-haired man frowned as he read what he had written on the previous line and, impulsively, he ended up tearing up the entire page of his notebook and threw it on the floor.

However, the paper pellet did not make a Poc - as he had, this time, managed to reach the bin, it made a Ting instead : he had just received a notification.

His mind being elsewhere, the student rummaged around on his desk, looking for his phone. It wasn’t a text message, but a Youtube alert. One of his Subscriptions had just uploaded a new video. Sasuke took a quick look at the time (1:03 am) and let a loud sight when he saw how long the video was: fifty-seven minutes.

Of course, it has to be Rasengan.

He was the only one there who could publish a barely edited gaming review at such odd hours. One hour of uncut video was too much, even if it was to discuss the New Zelda. ‘That moron clearly don’t understand how the logistics of youtube work,’ the young man thought while stretching his legs under the table in order to get into a more comfortable position.

Because even though Sasuke might found the Youtuber’s marketing choices quite stupid and questionable - he was still his favorite. The only one he was following so.. assiduously.

And if he was really going to pull an all-nighter in order to finish his presentation on time, he might as well relax a little on the go

**

The coffee machine finally agreed (even though it sure had taken its’ sweet time) to give him his change money, but it still wasn’t not enough to lift Sasuke’s spirit. He really had spent his entire night working on the presentation. Well - he even had to give up his usual fifteen minutes of hot morning shower for just three minutes of shampoo-rinse-toothbrush altogether to make sure that everything was perfect.

But at last - there he was ! His eyelids stung horribly and he could feel the dark circles hollowing out his eyes, but everything was finally ready to make sure he would receive his usual congratulations for the seriousness and thoroughness of his work.

An amused grin escaped his lips when he looked into the face of Kiba Inuzuka, one of his classmates - a gamer and procrastinator emeritus who unfortunately didn’t have enough wits to back it up. With some luck, they would be called in alphabetical order for once and it would save Inuzuka the embarrassment of going Sasuke’s presentation.

Or maybe not.

Sasuke left the cafeteria just as the legendary lack of luck of the dog-loving student seemed to catch up with him:

« FOR FUCK’S SAKE NARUTO DON’T PUT YOUR DR PEPPER ON TOP OF MY COMPUTER ! »

**

« Hey Sasuke, did you also get Ichiraku’s mail about the internship? »

Shikamaru Nara calmly called out the black-haired young man as he sat down.

« Yes, I got it. And my documents have been signed and validated by the office earlier today.

- Cool, mine too, Shikamaru sighed. ‘t'was about time. »

He nodded his head knowingly: all the steps of searching, finding and getting the official documents concerning the internship signed were an unspeakable mess. Luckily, though, his partner this time was not a nutcase of Zaku Abumi’s caliber.

The Nara was placidly calm (Sasuke wouldn’t dream of seeing him threatening the Dean of blowing up the uni if he were to fail the exams) and quite intelligent: in short, he was one of his peers. And their little discussions were not too unpleasant.

« Well, we’ll talk later about carpooling?

- Yeah. And also dividing the task.

- Yeah, no problems, Shikamaru sighed as he turned away - tired in advance of the amount of work ahead. Ah, good luck with your presentation by the way. »

Pfft.

He didn’t even bother to answer.

Wishing him luck ? Sasuke gladly left ‘good luck’ to losers such as Inuzuka or Sarutobi who were very likely to be sending prayers at that very moment to every heavenly spirit existing, Jashin included, to have the course delayed.

Good luck ?

Sasuke definitely didn’t need it.

He was brilliant, meticulous and confident: talking in front of sixty or more people didn’t bother him at all - unlike the younger Hyuuga who getting more and more on the verge of fainting as she practiced her speech. More than that, it was even something he enjoyed. Knowing every aspect of a subject - mastering it ; defending it tooth and nail, tearing apart every remark made by his opponents until they surrender..

Some malicious people would say that Sasuke liked to boast on stage, that he was too arrogant. That he was far too pleased to thwart the traps set by his teachers, to answer the questions of his classmates with a smirk. A smirk just visible enough to make them understand how foolish he thought their interventions were. Or worse, that he had precisely expected for a moron to make that remark, thus allowing him to assert his assistance with a dutifully prepared response.

Saying that Sasuke Uchiha sometimes behaved like a complete asshole would be quite slanderous - indeed.

Because, no he did not.

He was brilliant, meticulous, confident… and humble on top of that.

« Hurry up, Kiba, I think it’s already started!

- You should have eat your lunch quicker ! »

The two latecomers were forced to take the front row seats of the auditorium while Sasuke finished to prepare. The slide show was on, the cable was connected - he was simply waiting for Mr. Hatake’s approval to start.

**

« And to finish with and anticipate some questions you may have, I’d like to add that while the data I used regarding market flows may be from two thousand and four, other studies that I have provided in the appendix tend to show that all exchanges concerning telephony have been profitable thanks to the takeover of the company by its competitor three years ago. »

Click.

He couldn’t have done better.

The teacher scribbled an umpteenth inscription on his rating form with a discreet approving wink and Uchiha smiled smugly.

Perfect - everything had gone on smoothly.

His onyx eyes wandered around the room: not surprisingly, half the auditorium hadn’t listen a word to what he had said, too focused on themselves (and the realization of their own projects).

Pfft.

The other half, however, completed his little moment of glory: some of them shook the head in bitterness, disappointed in what they had done in comparison, others gave him an admiring look. In the distance, Shikamaru nodded his head slowly while the Egyptian fury sited beside him, more belligerent, pretended to stifle a yawn.

But Sasuke quickly looked away, his mouth pinched, as he saw the thumb up that Lee Rock had kindly addressed to his attention. Lee was overall quite a nice fellow - Sasuke himself had to recognize it, - but no.

Just no.

« Well, if no one has any question, because I don’t have one either, let’s move on to the next presentation, Kakashi Hatake thought for a moment as he watched over the assembly. Inuzuka, you, in the front row? Well, that’s great, now’s your turn. »

Sasuke, quite disdainfully elated, was about to come down from the stage when a voice stopped him dead in his tracks:

« Oops, you’re in deep shit, Kiba! »

That particular tone was familiar to him.

Strangely familiar.

« Heyyyyy everybody! I know, I know, sorry! I promised to upload more often… But sometimes I just completely forget to turn the cam on. Or to remove the lens cover ahah! Anyway, today…- »

…

Come to think of it, Sasuke knows that he should have, at least, tried to make it look like it wasn’t that big of a deal. He should have try to tighten his jaw, clench his teeth or even hold his breath until he could return to his seat but of course - he didn’t.

That damn brain of his really had to go on mental-break down as he looked over to the lips from which those sweet, sweet words had just escaped.

He literally froze on the spot.

HOLY FREAKING FUCKING FUCK.

Why the hell did Rasengan have to show up in his class on the very-day he looked like utter shit?!

**

Sasuke let himself fell on a chair of the uni library. The research room, fortunately, was still quite empty - this haven of peace was the only place where, he was ready to stake his life on it, this stupid Inuzuka had not and would never set foot in.

Yes - Sasuke Uchiha had simply run away : with clenched fists, he had spent the forty-two minutes separating him from the end of the class to scrutinize meticulously the auditorium clock’s second hand. He had tried everything: scrolling down his twitter feed, pretending to be interested in what was happening downstairs, humming softly a bit of that stupid Latin-sounding song that his brother Itachi kept playing in the car, but nothing helped. That same frightening moment was played again and again in his mind:

Meeting certain cerulean eyes had literally made him go speechless. If he had for a long time now suspected the blond guy of drowning his instagram pictures with saturated filters, he was now forced to admit that this guy had the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

And by blue, Sasuke wasn’t talking about that pale, bland cyan that Ino Yamanaka, a high school ‘friend’ he often saw in the cafeteria, boasted about - no, Rasengan’s pupils were of a deep, bright, intense blue. It wasn’t a grey that stretched to be too light or green; his eyes were neither grayish nor turquoise: they were blue. Irrevocably blue.

Wonderfully blue.

The more he thought about it, the less Uchiha was willing to accept it: there was no way a guy who spent at least twelve hours a day on screens could have such marvelous eyes. He probably wore contact lenses, yeah, there was no other explanation.

All Sasuke could remember was meeting that seing that blue and then - nothing. His foot had stayed up in the air, his breathing hastened and he had stood there like an idiot - staring at the video maker who hadn’t pay the slightest attention to him, his mouth wide open.

How long had he been frozen there, like a fucking fangirl oozing hormones and sebum?

…

Thank’s God - an unfortunate accident had come to his rescue : Kiba Inuzuka and his legendary clumsiness who, probably not expecting Sasuke to suddenly freeze on the spot, had stumbled over the stairs.

PAF.

He had cracked his forehead open and the fit of hilarity (well - they didn’t need much at eight o'clock in the morning) in the auditorium had instantly brought Sasuke out of his enamored trance. He had quickly taken his attention away from the blond young man hurried back to his place, his heart beating fast.

Shit - what the hell was Rasengan doing in his college?

And why did he have do pull an all-nighter on the day before?

Sasuke looked around him and hesitated for a moment before putting his phone in selfie mode in order to inspect the extent of the damages.

Ouch.

He had rarely looked so bad. His eyes were red because of the entire night spent on a computer screen, his skin was tugging at him and - what the hell was that old scale on the edge of his eyelid ? But despair truly overcame him as he looked at the state of his hair - thank God it was still pretty clean, but there was absolutely no volume left. Nasty, long (too long) strands of hair were stuck to his temples and fell back a little on his forehead.

Shit - it was as if he was unpleasantly reviving his teenage years when - even though he still adamantly claimed to that day he had never turned emo, he had tried numerous dubious kind of hairstyles.

The Uchiha turned pale when it really came down to him : this was indeed the very first impression he ever had make on Rasengan.

**

When Sasuke set foot on campus the next day, curious glances were exchanged. While his complexion was as fresh and glowing as ever (he had gulped down five liters of water the night before), his hair was…-

Well - he rather gave the impression that he had swallowed five litres of gel. That observation made the usually impassive Shikamaru raised an eyebrow - for a moment he thought that he too had returned to his high school years. The Nara genius finally shrugged it off, plunged back into his textbook - well everyone had bad hair day every now and then.

**

Fourth day of the week - Sasuke grumbled as he put his computer back on his bag.

Of course, Rasengan had to disappear completely off the face of the earth as soon as he had decided to rock his best outfits to go to class.

It was as if Rasengan’s divine appearance had to be provoked by Sasuke losing some of his splendor.

…

The next day, Sasuke had the impudence of wearing a T-shirt… with a hole on it (an old accident involving a hook and his brother-in-law, a fisherman), but still - nothing happened.

There was not the slightest sign of the handsome blond with eyes too blue to be true. In a bad mood, Uchiha decided after lunch to put the Ralph Lauren sweater, which he’d slipped into his bag in the morning just in case, in top of his crappy shirt.

The following Monday came quickly but - no, Sasuke wasn’t expecting anything.

His decision to resume his daily abdominal sessions hadn’t been motivated by any hope of meeting a certain blond again.

He was doing it for himself - and for himself alone.

Although it was true that he didn’t even need it.

The coffee machine forgot inadvertently to give him a stirrer - Sasuke sighed. Great, the day was starting out just fine : how the hell was he supposed to retrieve the sugar that had fallen to the bottom of the cup and drink his coffee now?

« Ahah, I can’t believe it, I didn’t even finish my presentation and Hatake gave me the passmark ! »

Sasuke’s ears tensed imperceptibly as he recognized the voice of the injured-Inuzuka who had just entered the cafeteria.

« He felt sorry you had a concussion Kiba, Shikamaru was there too.

- Whatever, man ! I’m definitely going to pass that semester ! We got to go celebrate. »

Celebrate?

Like in a bar or club where Rasengan might also go to ?

Sasuke suddenly found his cup too heavy to carry around and chose to sit down at the table next to the one the two friends had chosen, any worry of lost-stirrer long forgotten.

« Mhhh. Shikamaru sighed and rummaged through his wallet, seeking enough change to buy himself a hot drink. The delicious scent of Sasuke’s coffee was tempting him. You know what I think about your improvised parties.

- Pfff, anyway, you hardly go out anymore now than you got hitched.

- It's not like that, Shikamaru sighed again. Tem and I simply go to different places. »

Sasuke rolled his eyes out, bored. He wasn’t there to hear about other people’s marital relationships: why didn’t they discuss Rasengan’s appearance AND disappearance instead?

The black-haired man had spend the weekend trying to figure something out, but nothing helped. Not a new video on Youtube (well, there was nothing that strange about that, Rasengan’s upload schedule had always been rather dubious), not a single clue on twitter or insta.

Nothing.

« …- never thought you’d actually manage to hook up with her. By the way…-, Kiba’s sentence was left hanging in the air. Oh, here he is. It’s about time! »

Sasuke’s pulse suddenly accelerated. Damn it.

He hadn’t expected Rasengan to pop up out of the blue, though.

Wasn’t his presence so close to his group of friends too suspicious?

Was he going to get busted that easily ?

He needed a pretext - quickly.

« Hey Shino. You’re here just in time, let’s go! »

Eyes glued to the poster for dark-metal band, Uchiha struggled to conceal his disappointment. 

Shino Aburame - of course.

Always where he wasn’t expected.

Jaw clenched, Sasuke pretended to take a closer look at the tour dates on the wall while the three companions got up to go to class. The disappointed student was about to do the same when a voice called out to him:

« I didn’t know you liked this kind of music, Sasuke.

- Uh… yeah.

- We’re performing next month at the bar around the corner, Shino let out a rare smile as he reached into his pocket to hand him something. Here, I’ve got plenty more.

- … Thanks ? »

Uchiha arched an eyebrow as he received a Radioactive Worms sticker.

…

Well.

It took all sorts to make a world.

**

Wednesday, nine o'clock - Sasuke sighed as he realized that his computer was already out of battery. He pulled the charger out of its’ case before giving a nasty glance to a student who was cackling a little too loudly a few rows away.

Inuzuka.

Again.

He was getting on his nerves more and more.

For how long has he been getting along like pigs in a blanket with Rasengan? And was he, as Sasuke strongly suspected, responsible of his mysterious disappearance?

It was all so damn confusing.

« Um, yeah? »

The microphone sizzled and Sasuke turned his attention back ont he lecturer who he had almost forgotten.

When he saw who standing next to him, he almost fainted.

Rasengan.

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Let’s Dance

Carry On Countdown Fic Day 12 and 14 (late entry)--music/song, favorite trope/cliche

Let’s Dance

Niall

“You know Baz isn’t going to do it.”

Dev raises an eyebrow at me, looking eerily like Baz as he does. It’s one of the few traits they share. It’s every bit as irritating when he does it. “He bloody well will. He took the bet. This is the consequence.”

“I don’t think he quite expected this to be the outcome of losing. Probably thought you’d set him up on eHarmony or something like that. Not Flirty Dancing, for Christ’s sake.”

He scoffs. “If I was going to subject him to online dating I’d have put him on SCRUFF.” Dev leans back on the sofa, laptop balanced on his thighs. “This is better. The potential for embarrassment is so much higher on national television.”

“I thought the point was to get him into a stable relationship. Not embarrass him in public.”

“Well, this way we potentially get both. And you know as well as I do he won’t actually embarrass himself. Baz may be a repressed git but he knows how to dance.”

Uni graduation. Three best mates. A drunken bet.

None of us ever anticipated that Dev and I would be the ones who ended up engaged first.

To each other, no less.

Which leaves jump-starting Baz’s depressingly sparse and overwhelmingly chaste dating experience in our hands, thanks to poor choices made when completely sozzled.

I don’t know why any of us agreed to it, least of all Baz. But, in our defense, it did seem quite unlikely at the time that Dev was ever going to settle down or that Baz and I would successfully venture into the fraught London dating scene.  

I doubt any of us would have even remembered we’d made the bet, if Dev hadn’t scribbled it all out on the back of a coaster he nicked from the pub. And if our signatures weren’t clearly scrawled below his spidery script.

Fast forward two years. Dev and I have been dating each other for over a year and he popped the question two weeks ago.

I said yes.

So now we’re in charge of Baz’s love life and I can’t say he’s receptive to the idea.

“Fuck off. I didn’t agree to this.”

“You bloody well did.”

“I’m not taking a manky coaster as evidence.”

“Your signature’s on here, mate. It’s on. Niall and I are on the job.”

“Fuck. Off.”

“Those are long odds.” I shake my head. “You can put in the application for him but that doesn’t mean he’s going to get chosen for the show, Dev.”

“He’ll get chosen. Once I upload a photo of him, he’s in. Trust me.” Dev keeps clicking at the keyboard. “With a vastly superior payoff if he does make it.” Dev stops pecking at the laptop and turns to me. “You know he’ll never go on any dates we set up for him on an online site. Baz swipe right? Not bloody likely. But a challenge? He’s never backed down from one in his life.”

He settles back on the cushions. “It’s got everything Baz loves. Music. Dancing. An element of mystery. And if it’s not a match he gets to walk away with no commitment. Doesn’t even have to talk to the bloke. It’s actually bloody perfect for him.”

Dev may have a point.

“Is this it then? If we do this and it’s a fucking disaster, like you know it will be, are we done?”

He laughs.

“Not bloody likely. We made a vow.”

“We did not make a vow, you blithering idiot. We made a drunken bet.”

Dev shrugs. “Same thing.” He leans forward to squint at the laptop screen. “Someone’s got to take charge of him. Baz is absolute shit at dating.”

He’s not wrong.

The keyboard clicks pause. “Fuck. What’s his Insta handle again?”

“@Black-as-pitch. Put a hyphen between the words.”

“He’s five foot eleven?”

“He’s six foot one and you know it.”

“Sod off, Niall.”

I sit next to him on the sofa, peering over his shoulder. He’s on the Flirty Dancing website, with the extensive and apparently highly inquisitive application open on the screen.

“Occupation. Can I say ‘being a twat? ’” Dev asks.

I grab the laptop away. “Let me do it. You’re only going to fuck it up by filling it in with arsehole replies.”

Dev rests his head on my shoulder. “I knew you’d come around.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not coming around. I’m being efficient. If you’re going to ask me the answer to every one of these sodding questions I may as well fill the damn thing out myself.”

“And I can make sure you’re being accurate.”

“You can continue being the irritating twat you always are.”

Dev presses a kiss to my cheek. “And that’s why you love me.”

I lean into him. I do love the scheming bastard.

I move to the next question: Are you single? How long since your last serious relationship? Easy to answer for Baz. Yes and never had one .

Describe your dream date. “Fucking hell.”

Dev leans over to look at what I’m typing. “Put down fit . Muscular. A bit thick. In every way.” He raises his eyebrow again.

“I’m not writing that! They want dream date, not dream bloke.”

Dev shrugs. “Same thing.”

I stare at the laptop for a moment before I start typing. A simple night out. Dinner. Conversation.

“That’s boring as fuck, mate.” Dev elbows me in the ribs.

“That’s Baz. He’d take someone to the British Museum library and think that’s a smashing idea for a date.”

“Christ, Niall. Let me do it.” Dev grabs the laptop back and we have a brief struggle before I wrestle it away from him.

“Hands off. I’m doing this.”

I delete my previous answer. What the fuck would a dream date be for Baz? I’m not wrong about him. He loves the British Museum.

And this show loves shooting at iconic locations.

I start typing again. A simple night out. A walk through the British Museum. Dinner. Conversation. “That’s Baz, don’t even try and argue with me.”

Dev huffs but remains silent.

Describe your past three most recent relationships. When were they? What made you attracted to them? Why did they end?

That’s going to be a sparse answer. He hasn’t really ever had a meaningful relationship. A few dates here and there. Some short-term infatuations. Them being infatuated with Baz, I mean. Not him.

He’s not been interested in anyone that way, really.

Except for Snow.

But we don’t talk about that. It’s an old heartache from secondary and not worth stirring up.

Although, maybe that’s just the thing to do. Find someone who looks like Snow and let Baz finally get it out of his system, once and for all.

I’m energized now as I start filling in the answers.

Describe your relationship personality. “Being a twat,” Dev suggests.

“Are you just going to shout out the same shit answers or are you going to actually make yourself useful?”

“I’m giving you the accurate answers. It’s your job to find a way to make that intriguing and attractive.” Dev smirks up at me. “You volunteered for this.”

Fuck. I did.

I start writing answers again.

I would describe myself as reserved. Introspective. Affectionate once I get comfortable with someone. 

I’m looking for a partner who is caring, loyal, more outgoing than I am, someone who can brighten my days and get to know the person I am, behind the façade I use to protect my soft heart.

I’d be open to dating outside my usual type because my usual type has only managed to break my heart—I tend to fall for unattainable straight men.

Blue eyes, brown hair. Fit. Muscular. Preferably just a bit shorter than me. I’d like him to be able to rest his head on my shoulder when we slow dance.

Top celebrity crushes: Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Matt Damon.

My perfect match? I don’t know if there is one. But someone who can accept me for who I am. A bloke who’s fit but funny. Smart but not necessarily in conventional ways.

Dealbreakers—racists, fascists.

Finding my ideal match will quell the loneliness of my solitary life.

I’m probably still single because I’m such a hopeless romantic. I want to be swept off my feet, feel the thrill of a connection, light a match in my heart, see the stars through new eyes.

“That’s all complete rubbish. You make him sound a right sap, Niall.”

“Well, he is and we both know it. And this is what will get him on the show—the lonely, hopeless romantic, nursing an old heartache but finally ready to fall in love again. Throw in the British Museum and one of his brooding photos and we’ve got Baz dancing on Channel Four in no time.”

“You’re brilliant, love. I knew I could count on you.”

Read the rest at Ao3!

art by the incredible @penpanoply​ thank you so very much for this, my friend.