#I also think it feels like so long since her and e words debut

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (III)

alexia putellas x sister

chapter I, II

edited this in 25 minutes and now I am going to bed... but alexia debut in here today :)

~~~~~~

I sat in the back of the car as Ingrid drove Mapi and me to Johan the next morning. The car was silent, my eyes focussed out the window, hyperaware of the glances that both defenders threw back at me every so often.

Mapi is worried about me. That much I can tell, but I don't know why Ingrid, who I've barely spoken to, seems to think the world is coming to an end. She was in the room this morning when Mapi told me that Mami had called to say that she would see me there. I don't think the tension in the room was hard for the Norwegian to identify. Or it could have been Mapi's wide eyes staring at me that made her think something was wrong. 

Alba is also coming to watch this game even though I told her I wouldn't be playing.

"you are part of the first team for the first time ever, hermanita! It is exciting just to watch you warm up."

I had rolled my eyes as she pulled me into a hug that day, but I appreciated it either way.

Ingrid led me to the changing rooms as Mapi made her way into the stands with some of the other injured players. My locker is beside Aitana's and she beams up at me when she spots me. I thank Ingrid quickly and make my over to Aitana and into her open arms.

"You ready?"

I nod, a smile on my face. For the first time in a long time, I do not think about my sister or what she would say, what her opinion would be. It is hard to grasp the idea that my dreams are maybe becoming a reality. 

E. Putellas 29

It is a dream that I have had for a long time, to have my name on a blaugrana shirt, to be in this very position. It is something I have wanted since I could kick a ball, since I watched my sister do the same thing all those years ago.

They had asked me what name I wanted on the back of my jersey. Because Alexia just had her first name, I could take the last name without the E but Mami said to keep the E. I think she wanted me to just use my first name as well but that is for Alexia. I am only new to this, I thought.

I will not play today, Jonatan told me, but he said he wants me to be a sub in a game with lower pressure after I've spent a few games on the bench and trained with the team for more than a week.

Despite this, Mami and Alba are sat in the audience, between a bunch of relatives and family friends.

A red flush creeps onto my cheeks as I hear them all cheering when I run out of the tunnel to start the warm up. Aitana's arm is around my shoulders and she gives me an extra tight squeeze before winking at me and releasing me from her hold.

I know I will be sitting on the bench for the whole game but just warming up with the team is exciting. The cheering from the audience during the warm up is ten times louder than any crowd I've played in front of, even in the most stressful part of a match.

I try to shrug off the goosebumps that creep over my arms as I take in my surroundings. It is surreal and I think I am in a state of disbelief when Patri approaches me.

"You ok, pequena?"

"I'm good." I look at her as she places a hand on my shoulder. "This is just big."

"I get it. You are very young. You should be very proud of yourself, Elena. You a right, this is a big thing. A huge thing. We are all very proud, remember that."

She squeezes my shoulder before letting go.

"Now get to warming up, stop drifting off with the fairies!"

~~~~~~

It only took Barcelona 5 minutes to establish their dominance through an early Salma goal and by half time they were already up by 4 to 0.

The second half started and by the end of the match we were up by 8 with a decent scoreline of 9-1. Patri pulled me off the bench to go on the rounds to all the opposition and the fans. I have seen this happen so many times that it still feels surreal to be experiencing it.

"Where is your sister?"

Patri's whisper is meant to be harmless but her words are like ice water down my back and my stomach flips inside out. She continues when I shrug my shoulders.

"I saw her earlier with Olga, she's probably sat with the other injured girls."

At the mention of the girlfriend I have not met, I resist the urge to throw up, saying goodbye to Patri and heading over to where my family was in the stands.

My whole family tells me how proud they are and I think Mami takes about a thousand pictures of me and Alba and gets Alba to take some of me and her as well. I am grateful that she ignores Alexia's absence but that does not mean any of us are happy about it.

Mami is frustrated, angry maybe and that is evident in the way she scans the stadium every few minutes and shakes her head or releases disappointed sighs every once in a while.

Alba is sad and it is obvious because she makes no effort to hide the tears that brim in her eyes behind her smile. She tells me it is proud but I know when she looks longingly over to where Alexia should be standing beside me that she is just as upset as I am.

I am offended but I do my best to hide my emotions. I try to be as happy as I can because I am somewhat exhilarated from the experience despite sitting on the bench for the full 90 minutes.

Keira and Ona were being rested for the whole match and it turns out that Keira is hilarious and Ona can provide the best commentary on any match. They are a good pairing and I enjoyed making fun of Keira as she struggled to keep up with our (very slow) Spanish.

I am definitely looking forward to playing at some point. The thought makes me so incredibly nervous but I don't think there will be a better feeling than finally stepping out onto that field with my name on my back and representing my childhood club.

Mami holds me in her arms after she's satisfied with the pictures and I feel a tear drop onto my head.

"I am so proud of you, nina, you have made me proud from the day you were born and you will continue forever. This is just the start of everything. Papi is looking down on us right now with pride too, he's telling all his friends that you are his baby bear and that he taught you everything you know."

I sniffle in her arms.

"Thank you for everything you have done for me Mami, I would be nothing if not for you."

"Oh, hija, I love you."

"I love you too."

Alba throws herself into the hug and proclaims it is now a group hug. Mami chuckles and extends one of her arms around her.

"Mi hermanita is all grown up!" Alba cheers quietly so only me and Mami can hear. "15 years old and in the first team, a record?"

"Only a record when I leave the bench, Alba." I whack the back of her head with my hand and she recoils from the hug in mock annoyance.

"I should go, Mami, I'll meet you out the front?"

She nods and I kiss her cheek before wandering back to the changing rooms.

I am surprised when they are empty but the sound of the showers tells me that I will not be alone for long.

It is supposed to be a happy feeling, but I can not help but feel alone in this room, full of the belongings of people who are older than me, more experienced, skilled. People who know my sister better than I do.

People who will always look up to La Reina. Who will always hang off her every word.

I wish that was me still because if it was, I would not be alone in this locker room right now, I would be celebrating with my sister.

But she is nowhere to be found.

She didn't even say hello to me, she didn't say congratulations, she didn't even acknowledge my existence. It hurts me more than I care to admit, but maybe that is what she meant when she said I was weak.

I wipe the tears out of my eyes before they spill and it is good timing because a whole group of girls walk into the locker room at the same time that Ingrid and Frido return from their showers.

"Our pequena!" Marta cheers when she sees me in my cubby and paces over to pick me up. "You are one of us now, welcome to Barca!"

Everyone cheers and a big smile takes over my face as I am thrown amongst the group of people, being hugged and patted on the back, loud yells in Spanish bouncing round the room.

Aitana holds me for longer than everyone else and whispers her congratulations in my ear.

"You need a lift home today?"

I shake my head and smile.

"Mami and Alba are taking me out to dinner."

Aitana nods and begins talking about how exciting it is that I have finally been introduced to the first team and how I have grown up and I zone out and scan the room.

The loud chatter is a far cry from the near silence that engulfed the room five minutes ago.

I spot Mapi in the corner of the room speaking animatedly to Ingrid.

Frido is also there, laughing with Caro and Marta

Jana is beside Bruna, a giddy smile on her face as they chat to Esmee.

That can only mean one thing, Alexia is somewhere in here but I do not want to speak to her. I do not want to see her and I do not want her to see me. I excuse myself from Aitana to quickly grab my change of clothes and I go over to the showers, spending the longest possible time rinsing myself and washing my hair and an even longer time drying myself and getting changed.

I spend a humiliating amount of time in the stall but I do not hear anyone else come into the bathroom so I don't really think anyone had noticed.

If I had known what was been waiting for me when I opened the door of my stall I probably wouldn't have opened it.

Because the bleached blonde hair was the first thing I clocked, but her confidence oozed out of her as she leant against the wall, her arms crossed, her head resting against the blue paint like she was bored.

I don't say anything when I see her, trying my luck by just walking straight past her but her hand reaches out and stops me from leaving.

"No, Elena, don't run away from me."

"What do you want from me, Alexia?"

She let out an exhale and her features softened slightly. I look down at her feet, willing myself to not make eye contact.

"Why did I find out you had joined my team through a post on Instagram?"

I roll my eyes and shrug my shoulders, making an unintelligible sound that tells her that I do not know and I do not care. I try to leave again but she just stops me again.

"Why do I not know anything about you anymore? Why did Mapi find you in the middle of the park near her house last night when you should have been in bed like Mami thought?"

At least Mapi didn't say anything. I was worried, she is terrible at keeping secrets.

I just scoff because I don't know how else to react to the irony.

"Where is your girlfriend?"

She sighs.

"Olga is in the changing room with the others. You can meet her if you would like."

"I do not want to meet her."

"Then why did you ask?"

"I just wanted to confirm it wasn't just another one of Alba's rumours. You never told me."

I am proud that my voice doesn't falter, that it doesn't break. It is calm, level, despite the emotions that are raging inside of me.

"And whose fault is that?"

I roll my eyes but I avoid saying anything. She hesitated before continuing.

"We were best friends Elena, what even happened? Why did you stop talking to me, why did you start skipping our thursday night dinners?"

I scoff as she tries to make eye contact.

"I am not having this conversation now, Alexia. This is supposed to be a happy day but you are ruining it. You don't remember, that is the problem."

"I should be part of this day with you. I am your captain now."

I hold back a laugh.

"yes, captain, anything you say captain." I salute her weakly and turn around to leave, pushing past her outstretched arm.

Mapi looks at me cautiously as I walk back into the changing rooms but she is chatting with Olga and I do not want to have any interaction with her. I wave goodbye to her and Ingrid and say goodbye to a few of the others.

"What did she say?" Aitana had walked out with me and had apparently seen Alexia enter the showers earlier as well.

"That she is my captain now." I don't think I will ever forget her coldness.

"She is also your sister, Lena, she must be proud?"

If she is she has not shown it.

"She is my captain before she is my sister." My voice is monotone and I stare straight ahead of me. "Football always comes before family. It always has for Alexia."

Aitana shakes her head.

"It should not, it is not healthy."

I can't help but agree with the midfielder beside me.

~~~~~~

Dinner with Mami and Alba is nice, although I shouldn't have expected the topic of my oldest sister to be completely neglected the whole evening. Thankfully, she waits until we are all in the car driving home to bring it up.

"Your sister should have been there today, Elena." She makes eye contact with me through the rear view mirror and I look away.

"There are many things she should have done but didn't." I mumble quietly so Mami can't hear me, but Alba does and she looks back at me weirdly.

"Alexia said she was going to talk to you, she told us how proud she was and I said that you would want to hear her say it to you."

"She's... proud of me?" My voice is soft and I can see my mother's eyebrows furrow in the mirror.

"Of course she is, you are her baby sister and you have just joined her team. She was upset that you didn't tell her and I don't think she really understood why but, Lena, she was practically crying. She is a very proud big sister. I told her to come with us tonight and she seemed keen, said she would meet you in the changerooms and come out with you."

"Why does she tell you all this but when she talks to me she is so cold?" My voice is barely a whisper yet both Mami and Alba hear me loud and clear.

"She went to meet you in the dressing room, she was excited for you to meet Olga and Olga was excited as well. What did she say to you?" Mami frowns, her eyes flickering over to Alba who also had creases in her forehead.

I shrug.

"She asked me why I didn't tell her that I had joined, why she doesn't know anything about my life anymore. She said she was my captain, she should be part of my life. I think she meant my football life, not my actual one."

"What makes you say that?" Alba is the one who speaks because Mami looks devastated.

I look around dramatically. "If she wanted to be part of my actual life she would be here right now, no?"

Alba runs her hands over her face in frustration but I don't think she is frustrated at me. Just the situation. I think it has upset Alba more than anyone else and I feel guilty.

"Sorry." 

"No, hermanita, this is not your fault, I just don't understand what is going through Alexia's head."

"It's ok, Alba, Mami. I don't mind. Really, I don't."

Mami just shakes her head. She is not happy and she clearly does mind.

"No, you and your sister need to sort this out, pequena, I simply cannot stand it any more. You will be home for dinner this Thursday and you will talk about it."

"But I have train-" I am interrupted.

"No you do not, you are not playing with the B team at the moment, don't be ridiculous. You will be there and we will discuss it then. We also need to discuss what we are going to do about your school."

I groan, although the change in topic is appreciated.

"Mami! I don't want to have to go back to school because I'd rather do this." She sighs and I roll my eyes.

"La Masia has made an arrangement that will allow you to continue your classes there but your days will be rearranged. You will go to training with the first team until 2, then you will go over to La Masia and do your school classes with your peers there. They will get you a tutor to study with you in the evenings when training usually is to make up for the school you missed in the morning."

Unfortunately, Mami has always been adamant that we get a good education despite mine and Alexia's obsessions with football.

I was quick to get out of the car when we arrived home, having dropped Alba off at her apartment on the way back. I went up to my room quickly, changing into my pajamas and heading to bed quite quickly.

Mami called out to tell me that she was going to see Alexia before bed, so I sat on my phone for a while, the doors locked and my lights switched off.

But my phone was plugged in and my eyes were closed when a soft fist hit my door twice. Thinking it was just mami, I called for her to enter.

But when I registered that bleach blonde hair for the second time that day, all I felt was regret.

"I am tired, Alexia. Please, just let me sleep."

"Elena, please." I hadn't noticed the tears that dripped down her face, the slump in her usual perfect posture. Her voice cracked when she said my name. "I miss you."

"Alexia. It has been a long day, I am tired, I want to sleep. Please, Alexia. Let me sleep." I am acting immature but I am tired, and I don't want to have this conversation now.

She let out a soft exhale, stepping towards me and placing a kiss on the side of my head that is exposed to the air.

I try to ignore the warm shivers it sends down my spine, it has been so long since she did that; since she did something she used to do every night.

She walks slowly back to the door, stopping as she reaches it and resting her hand on the door handle.

"Mami says you don't think I am proud of you. It is not true. I am so proud of you and I love you, pequena. But I don't think you need me anymore, I think you're fine without me. I am sorry, Elena. I am sorry for not being there for you when I should have been, but I will take a step back. I am so proud of you."

She pushed down the door handle and was gone just as quickly as she came and I resisted the urge to call out and tell her she had got it all wrong. I want her to take a step forward, she has already taken a step back. She has already taken 50 steps back.

I need her. More than anything.

But I can't rely on her. I can not be weak in front of her.

I am a Putellas. I can not be weak.

She has to be right. I am fine without her.

~~~~~~

She is still home when I walk downstairs in the morning, her eyes puffy and hair a mess as she sits on the kitchen table with a coffee. My sigh alerts her to my presence but I turn my back on her as soon as I enter the kitchen.

"Elena, please." I don't know how I changed my sister from a leader to a beggar, but today is not the day to ask when that happened.

I pour myself a bowl of cereal silently and head straight back upstairs, locking my bedroom door and eating my breakfast before sitting down on the piano stall, my fingers immediately jumping onto the keys, improvising and experimenting with new notes, chords and rhythms.

I don't know what Mami said to Alexia when she visited last night, but to be quite honest I don't want to know. I just need to keep being ok without my older sister, no matter how much I miss her. She said I should be fine without her, so I will be.

For some reason, I neglect to consider the other words she said.

"I miss you."

"I am so proud of you."

"I love you."

I think I ignore those statements because I can't seem to grasp their validity. If she missed me, she would have seen me; she would have come to my games. If she was proud of me I would already know, she would have told me like Mami had, like Alba had. Like everyone else who is proud of me has.

If she loved me... If she loved me she would be my older sister again.

I miss her, I am proud of her and I love her. It is true and I have never once doubted those emotions.

But it feels like she is just saying what she wants me to hear. What Mami said that she should say to me. I don't think she actually means it.

How could someone who loves me tell me that I am weak?

How could someone who is proud of me tell me that she doesn't want me to achieve my dreams, that she never wants to share a shirt because I am haven't had to work for it?

I don't understand how it could be true, both things at the same time.

I curse at the tear that spills out of my eye, rubbing it away aggressively and shaking my head at myself. No. I can not be weak. Not today, not ever.

My sisters words from today, from yesterday, from three years ago spin in my mind and my fingers become more and more aggressive on the keys of my piano, my song increasing in intensity; reflecting my emotions in the only way I know how. The keys are my home, the notes are my head and the song is my heart. 

Though sometimes the song sounds broken, like right now when there is so much going on. So many chords, rhythms. Increasing speed, increasing volume. My fingers moving at a million miles an hour, barely hitting one key before moving to the next. 

There is so much going on that it is overwhelming, so much going on that it could just explode. Into a million pieces. So many pieces that it would be futile to even try and put them back together.

It does that sometimes, and I have to fall back down to the softness and calmness of the easy rhythms, easily sailing away from the broken song like it never even existed. 

But it always existed, and it's remains will always be there at the bottom of the sea, haunting me, threatening to re-emerge. 

I realise I have been grieving my sister like she has died. I grieve the death of our relationship and how it has changed so quickly and so aggressively. I miss her more than anything, but the thought of what it used to be is overwhelming, it fills me with dread, with complete sadness. 

Those notes that exploded so long ago, still lying dormant somewhere, never gone, never forgotten. There are so many of them, I just wish she would help me pick them up.

My song has already exploded, so I resort to playing soft chords, tears now spilling from my eyes in a continuous stream. There are too many to wipe away and I know that my eyes will be red and my cheeks puffy when I eventually do. I have lost my sister in a way that is almost impossible to comprehend.

Because Alexia isn't dead, and somehow that makes her distance so much harder to understand, so much more hurtful.

She isn't dead, she has just decided she does not want to be a part of my life any more.

The song comes to a conclusion, and my fingers rest on the keys, my eyes staring ahead at the empty stand in front of me, trying their very best to not slip upwards towards the picture that I know hangs directly above it.

The picture of me and my family the day I was born, held in Alexia's arms as Alba tried her best to share me, both of them sitting beside Mami in bed as Papi watched on with a proud smile.

I would go back to that day in an instant if I was given the opportunity.

~~~~~~

I don't go back downstairs until I hear the front door close and Alexia's car drive away. I give it a few minutes before I actually leave the safe haven that my bedroom has become, ignoring Mami's watchful eyes as I slump onto the sofa, using the remote to switch on the tv.

I only watch it for five minutes before my mother switches it off, standing by the door and looking directly at me.

"She is confused, Elena. She doesn't know why this has all happened but she is angry with herself for not being there for you more."

I roll my eyes. Of course she doesn't remember.

"Maybe she should use her brain. Maybe she should just think."

Mami shakes her head at me, it could be in frustration, maybe disappointment. I still do not look at her.

"Maybe you could just talk to her! She doesn't know how to love you when you won't let her. She wanted you to meet Olga yesterday, but you left. She wanted to speak to you last night or this morning but you ignored her."

"But Mami, it is not my fault! It should not be up to me to fix what she has broken."

"She is trying, Elena, and at the moment that is what matters. This just can not go on, you are in the same family, the same football team! Mapi spoke to me yesterday, you know. She was practically crying, Elena, it's effecting even her."

"I never should have opened my mouth to her. Now she has involved herself in something that is not her business." My voice is poisonous and my words aggressive. I know Mapi would be heartbroken if she could hear this, she always has tried so hard to do what is best. Especially when it was about me.

I love Mapi, I always have. She never thought I did because I never gravitated towards her at training when I was little, but that was just because I thought she was another sister - she was like Alexia, always around.

When I was 11, maybe, I didn't realise how upset she got about me 'not liking her', and I had made a joke about never hanging around with Mapi. It was when she left the room that Alexia pulled me to the side harshly.

"Even if you don't like her, Elena, you have to pretend! She is my best friend and she loves you so much."

I remember looking at her with my mouth agape - I love Mapi, I always did. I was confused, it was a meaningless joke - a version of a joke I made all the time to Alexia.

Alexia didn't need to tell me to go talk to her, but I didn't know what to say when I walked out the door and found her sitting down with her back to the wall, tears pouring down her face. I explained everything and she apologised for being dramatic.

Since then, we have gotten along well and I have tried to spend time with her when I can.

It has been harder in the last couple years when I have fallen out with Alexia. They are best friends, I don't want to get in the way of that.

Mami's anger brings me right back to reality.

"That is enough, Elena! Maria only wants to help, but she can't, nobody can do anything except you and Alexia."

I resist rolling my eyes, instead releasing a huff of air.

"I'll think about it." 

My arms are folded and I turn back towards the blank screen, ignoring the way Mami sighs and walks away. 

It is only when I hear her door close that I let my angry facade crumble, my body shaking as I resist the tears. 

I need to stop crying. 

Alexia thinks I am strong enough to do everything by myself.

I need to prove to her that I can. 

Maybe then she will tell me she is proud of me. 

~~~~~~

this is pretty much all the prewritten stuff i have, will write more soon once my exams are done

let me know if there's anything you want to see in the next parts

part IV

[mystarmyangel]

[FULL TRANS] 240321 ‘Blue Dragon Goddess’ Lim YoonA, “Sports Chosun = photo album, these days I am getting to know myself” (Sports Chosun’s anniversary interview)

SNSD, Nation’s center, Actress. A word that comes to mind when you think of Lim YoonA (34) has been added to this as well. It’s ‘Blue Dragon Goddess’. Since announcing its first start in 2022, the Blue Dragon Series Awards has established itself as a representative series-entertainment awards ceremony in Korea, in which Lim YoonA, who has achieved an unrivaled presence, is steadily growing in the top position in Korea.

This year marks the 34th anniversary of Sports Chosun, which took its first step on Mar. 21, 1990. Lim YoonA, who debuted as a member of SNSD in 2007, now active as a singer and actress, has been with Blue Dragon and Sports Chosun for a long time to present the best appearance to her fans. For the past three years, she has been focusing on her work and SNSD’s activities to the extent that she has never taken a moment off. She even recently finished her solo fan meeting tour in eight Asian cities, which is unusual for an actress. People around her said, “Take a break,” but the more such situation happened, she is even more fired up for her next work and activities. This was also the reason why she has been consistently able to exist in the top class until now.

Lim YoonA, who has been steadily working from ‘Exit’ to ‘Miracle’, ‘Confidential Assignment 2: International’, ‘The Devil Has Moved In’, ‘Big Mouth’ and ‘King the Land’, is now having time to get to know herself more. This period of change and deep thoughts is also a long period for fans. Lim YoonA is still faithfully spending this time. Lim YoonA, who met Sports Chosun to commemorate its foundation, confessed, “I think I've been naturally thinking about 'what’s next', even though the company didn't make me do it. It was just my ambition. I don't think I took it for granted that I could take a break. Rather than losing my ambition, I think I'm trying to distribute it well instead. It's time to look back on myself and study about myself.”

Lim YoonA is a star who has shown bright and positive sides to the public. However, she did not lean towards one side or the other. She is an actress with a wide spectrum, with no similarities whatsoever, from her growth in ‘Hush’ to her independent female image in ‘King the Land’, and various appearances shown in ‘Exit’ and ‘Confidential Assignment’. Although all of her characters have something in common, 'brightness', Lim YoonA's spectrum of trying to express the differences even within them is her strength as an actress. Recently, she is even listening to the feedback from her fans, who say, "I want to see YoonA, who has everything except personality.” Lim YoonA said, "I felt like I am getting to know myself once again. Recently, while meeting fans, I listen to their concerns and answered them, and the answer I give is often, ‘Let's love ourselves.’ We can only do other things if we start from that so these days, I feel like I need to look at my inner self too. When I have conversations like this with my peers, I realize I'm not the only one who feels this way, and I feel like I'm growing up rather than feeling impatient,” she said. This is her healthy growth as an actress.

The Blue Dragon Series Awards, which she attended during this period, also had great meaning to Lim YoonA. She has now firmly established herself as an irreplaceable MC. Lim YoonA said, “As an actress, I have a dream that one day I will be able to enjoy the joy of winning an award from Blue Dragon. That's why the energy that Blue Dragon gives me was so great. But when I heard that Blue Dragon was creating a series award, I was very curious. When the MC offer came, I thought, 'I have to do it.' I had a strong desire to do as well as the offer was given, and I think I was very nervous during the first series awards ceremony. I thought, 'If I get a chance next time, I want to do it with more ease and do an even better job.' And they gave me another chance the next year too,” she said with a smile.

Just as there is Kim Hye Soo, who bid a beautiful farewell to the Blue Dragon Film Awards on her 30th anniversary as the MC, there is Lim YoonA at the Blue Dragon Series Awards. Lim YoonA said, "I think it would be good if I could walk down that path too. It would be nice if we could continue to be together like Hye Soo for the Film Awards. It was more meaningful to be able to be together right from the beginning. The meaning has been the same from the time I looked at Blue Dragon until now, but now there are more people who can say hello at Blue Dragon., but now there are a lot of people I can say hello to at Blue Dragon. I'm so thankful when the reporters there ask me, ‘Is Blue Dragon goddess, YoonA here?’ It gives me an overwhelming feeling that they think of me like family.”

Lim YoonA not only attended the 44th Blue Dragon Film Awards last year as an award presenter, but she also waited for Kim Hye Soo until late at the end of the awards ceremony to remember Kim Hye Soo's last day as the MC. Lim YoonA said, “I looked at Hye Soo sunbaenim and thought she was cool, so I wanted to say hello. When I said, 'You're so cool. Thank you for your hard work,' she smiled at me and told me a lot of stories. I think there is an 'aura' created by Hye Soo sunbaenim. I thought she is so cool that she was able to cope with any situation beyond the script. I also learned a lot from there. So, after taking on the role of MC, my perspective on this work has also changed. In the past, I used to watch interesting projects, but now, I watched them thinking about what kind of works I would get to meet at the awards ceremony. The more I know, the more I can enjoy the situation,” she assured.

It's the 3rd anniversary with Blue Dragon Series Awards, and this year is also YoonA’s 17th anniversary since debut. Lim YoonA said, “I started my trainee life when I was 13, so it's already been 22 years. When I was interviewed for the 10th anniversary of SNSD's debut, I said, ‘Wow, it's been 10 years,’ and even so, more than 7 years have already passed. 'Gee' is already more than 10 years ago, and kids now called it ‘my mom's pants’ when they saw the colorful skinny jeans that were popular at the time. We are 2nd generation idols, and we are very thankful and proud that we can work together in a situation where 5th generation idols are currently active.”

Sports Chosun has been with us for this long period of activity. As this year marks the 34th anniversary, it is of no exaggeration to say that it has been with Lim YoonA throughout her activities. Lim YoonA said, “‘Sports Chosun’ is like a photo album to me. It has always been with me, and I think it captured my brightest moments. Photos are taken at important moments and placed in the album. We have been together through that process, and we will continue to do so in the future. “It seems like we are filling the remaining spaces together. I feel that way about Sports Chosun and Blue Dragon,” she said, smiling brightly.

Source: Sports Chosun Trans: mystarmyangel HQ: Link

[bubblegeon]

Hennexxi, who broke a 7-year hiatus, "I have to let go of the regret of Madtown activities" [Interview] 02.2023

“I haven’t had a chance to stand on stage for nearly 7 years. I want to quench my thirst while working as a solo singer.”

Singer HENNEXXI (real name Kim Seoul, former name Buffy) from the boy group Madtown overcomes the pain and runs again. Hennexxi, who left the music industry for a long time after the team disbanded, returned to the fans with a stronger appearance than before and released his solo debut song 'RATM' on the 28th.

As long as the blank period was long, his determination to be active is different. In an interview with E-Daily at a cafe in Hapjeong-dong, Mapo-gu, Seoul ahead of his solo sortie, Hennexxi said, "It's been 7 years since Madtown released their last album in 2016, and it's my first time releasing a solo song, so I'm nervous. However, I am also looking forward to it because I completed a satisfactory result with good people,” he said with a smile.

Seven years is a long time for a generation to change in the music industry. Hennexxi started military service after Madtown disbanded, and after being discharged, he had time to build up his music skills alone while working part-time. Hennexxi looked back saying, it was a time when he seriously considered whether or not to continue with music.

The wounds in his heart made him ponder whether to walk the path of music. Hennexxi confessed, "I received treatment for depression and panic disorder until last year."

Hennexxi was selected as an idol trainee while attending Seoul Performing Arts High School. In 2013, when he was 20 years old, Hennexxi entered the music industry as a member of the duo ProC, and then started working as a member of Madtown the following year. However, Madtown disbanded in 2017 after being unable to fully expand its activities due to the issue of transfer of the agency and termination of the exclusive contract.

Hennexxi said, "I've been 'all-in' for a long time since I was young, but after the team disbanded, thinking that I hadn't achieved anything made me feel anxious," he said.

While preparing for her solo debut, Hennexxi, who said he has made up his mind again, is trying to loosen up the lump in his heart little by little in the future. He is determined to build his own territory by promoting rap metal music, a genre that is still unfamiliar to domestic listeners. 'RATM' is a song at the starting point, and the lyrics contain the message that you will go your own way without being swept away by the evaluations or reactions around you.

'RATM' also draws attention in that it is a song featuring Haengzoo of hip-hop trio Rhythm Power, winner of Mnet's 'Show Me the Money 6'. Hennexxi said, “When I felt that the song needed a featuring artist, the first thing that came to my mind was Hangju-hyung."

In addition, regarding the reason for mentioning the late singer Iron's song 'ROCK BOTTOM' through the lyrics, he said, "I don't have a personal relationship, but I liked it because it was an artist who tried rap metal music early.” he explained.

Hennexxi, who has played the bass guitar since middle school, said, “I respect the American band ‘Rage Against The Machine’ (RATM), whose song was named after them.” “My goal is to become an artist who contributes to the popularization of rap metal music.” he said forcefully.

He also commented on his thirst for the stage, saying, “I want to become a shining singer in the concert hall where I can most definitely feel the pleasure of the band’s sound.” In addition, they picked Kim Tae-won of Resurrection and Kim Do-gyun of Mt. Baekdu as the artists they want to collaborate with, and Jay Park as their role model.

The last words he said were thanks to the fans. Hennexxi said, “There are fans who have been waiting for a singer who hasn’t released a single song, let alone an album, in 7 years. Even these days, they send messages of support through social media,” he said, promising, “I will do my best in my music activities to repay them.” [Google trans]

[capcarolsdanver]

So what’s the deal with Brie? Is she gay? Because she surely gives off that energy. I liked her since United States of Tara but I never really paid attention with her personal life and activities. I mostly just watch the movies and shows she’s in whenever I find one. I started to pay more attention to her in 2019 because of the Marvel mania and she certainly piqued my interest more because of the whole Tessa thing and the fact that she was parading like a fruity queen. Roflmao. I made a quick google search about her personal life one day when I got bored one time and found out she called off an engagement early that year and then had a make out session with a different dude in a grocery story months later and I just shrugged and moved on. I guess the info that she had a breakup made sense to me because I certainly got the impression that she was having some sort of breakup energy going on with her along with the strong gay energy and thought okay that makes sense and I decided that the make out session with weaselly looking dude was the poor rebound even though Brie doesn’t strike me as someone wastes her time with a rebound. Roflmao. Anywaysz, since the pandemic hit (holy shit I can’t believe we’re in 2 years of covid era), I have been keeping track of her more since I got nothing much to do especially last 2020 and I have to say, I was surprised when I found out that she was still dating the weasel looking dude I thought was her poor rebound. On top of that their relationship looked… so off. Roflmao. That’s when I also vaguely remembered when I watched her win her Oscar years ago, I remembered that her Andrew Garfield lookalike boyfriend looked like her gay bff. They looked so odd together as a couple on tv back then. Roflmao. Found out that was her ex fiance. I actually searched for that video on youtube to make sure if I was remembering correctly and yeah, that relationship looked so off as well so I started to wonder if Brie was hiring merkins all along. Roflmao. I tried to lurk on different places for gossips and I got so turned off shortly after because of bonkers and invasive af theories and immediately. Roflmao. Can’t believe it’s everywhere. I even saw fucking masterposts about Brie’s apparent relationships with whoever chick and there’s even throuples. Roflmao. There’s a lot of crazies who believes everything despite how obvious that it’s all fake and have no basis at all though so whatever the fuck they are snorting, I don’t want it. Roflmao.

Woah okay this is a lot hahaha

But anyway to answer your question, like obviously I have to say that everything is speculation, because Brie herself hasn’t actually confirmed anything. But also, like…. yeah lmao

[vgfm]

Deltarune Theory: The True Identity and Importance of “Everyman”

I’ve been away from the Undertale theory scene for a long time. It’s been so long that a whole new-fangled game got announced, and I’ve got some theories on it.

Are these theories about Gaster or Sans or whatever’s going on with Kris? Not exactly. At least, not yet. I’ve got a better character in mind.

Let’s start with Everyman: Undertale’s most obscure character and (I think) one of the most pivotal in Deltarune.

This is a two-part theory: the first part outlines who Everyman is and why I think he’ll be important in Deltarune. The second part? You’ll have to read and find out.

This is a long one and with loads of images, so strap yourselves in.

Sections

Part 1: Introduction to Everyman

Who is Everyman?

“So Everyman’s just an Easter egg, right?”

Everyman’s Importance

Why did Everyman appear in True Lab?

Why Everyman will have a bigger role in Deltarune

Part 2: Everyman is ???

What will Everyman’s role be?

Jevil’s Connection to Everyman

The Spade King’s clue

Additional Evidence

“Seriously?”

The Gaster connection

The “Strange Son”

Who made who?

“Seriously, who is Everyman?”

End

Closing Summary

Final Conclusions

Who is Everyman?

"Everyman” is a special attack that appears during the Reaper Bird amalgamate fight in True Lab.

This same figure appears twice in Deltarune’s first chapter:

Once as graffiti in an alleyway in Hometown...

...and again as a rare bullet attack during Jevil’s fight.

The name “Everyman” only ever appears in-game next to his graffiti portrait in Hometown. Everyman’s sprites are simply titled “strangeman” in Undertale’s game files:

[Image transcript: UTModTool is showing multiple highlighted sprite entries that begin with “spr_strangeman”. On the right is the file “spr_strangeman_walk” opened, showing a picture of Everyman. End image transcript]

Some time after Undertale’s release there was a since-deleted tweet from Toby with a picture of Reaper Bird’s attack that he titled “Everyman,” which is where fans first got the name.

[Image transcript: A tweet from toby fox that says “Everyman”. The first reply says “Is that his name. please thell me thats his obj name.” Toby’s response repeats “Everyman.” The next reply says “everything i aspire to be.” Toby responds again with “’Everyman’ you aspire to be.” Toby then adds another tweet saying “Description. Just a good guy that shows up on occasion.” end image transcript.]

This is a web archive screenshot so the image of Everyman’s bullet sprite wasn’t preserved here. Special thanks to catcat for tracking this one down!

“So Everyman’s just an Easter egg, right?”

I don’t think so. I’d be more inclined to write off Everyman’s role in Deltarune as a mere cameo if he had only shown up once. But it’s odd that Toby felt the need to include Everyman twice in a single chapter. To me this seems less like a one-off cameo and more like foreshadowing for a greater role in the full game.

Let’s compare Everyman’s appearances to instances of character foreshadowing and one-off cameos from Undertale and Deltarune:

Mettaton

[Image transcript: four Undertale screenshots arranged in a grid. In the top-left screenshot, the narration text box reads “(the machine isn’t working.)” as Frisk stares at Mettaton in Snowdin’s colored tile puzzle room. In the top-right screenshot, the narration textbox is reading a TV announcement in Papyrus’ house: “(It says ‘STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM - MTT.’)”. In the bottom-left screenshot, Napstablook’s text box says “there’s a show i like to watch on it... sometimes...” as Frisk looks at their television. In the bottom-right screenshot, Undyne’s text box says “This oven is some top-of-the-line MTT thing.” as Frisk stares at her oven. End image transcript.]

Mettaton is foreshadowed multiple times before he makes his proper introduction in Alphys’ Lab. This includes a direct on-screen appearance of his rectangular form as part of Snowdin’s colored tile puzzle. What’s interesting is that half of these references (including the tile puzzle) only make sense in hindsight to a first-time player. For all we know there could be other, more-cryptic Everyman references already in Deltarune that we don’t have the full context to understand yet.

Rouxls Kaard

Despite his legendary introductory sequence catching many-a-player off-guard, Rouxls Kaard actually is foreshadowed a couple of times before his stunning debut.

[Image transcript: four Deltarune screenshots arranged in a grid. In the top-left screenshot, Ralsei is reading a message from Rouxls Kaard: “It says... ‘Thoust fools, thou will NEVER figure it out now!’. This is continued in the top-right screenshot: “Then it, um, says, ‘PS - I make my own Rules. - RK’”. In the bottom-left screenshot, a puzzle-master says “ROUXLS KAARD... Lord of the Puzzles... Be careful...!” In the bottom-right screenshot, one of Clover’s heads says “RK came by... What a hunk!” End image transcript.]

I’ve noticed from watching Let’s Plays that many people don’t even realize that these lines were meant to foreshadow him (and I’m pretty sure I didn’t realize it either on my first playthrough).

Ice-E

Now here’s something that’s an example of both a one-off cameo and proper foreshadowing! In Undertale, Ice-E is referenced exactly once in the entire game—as part of Sans’ Monster Kidz Word Search puzzle. No other character mentions Ice-E, Ice-E does not appear in-person, nor does the Ice-E’s restaurant appear... in Undertale. Deltarune is a completely different story.

[image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. in the left screenshot, Kris looks under their sink and the narration text box says: “A can of Ice-E’s Cool Boys Body Spray ‘Spray For The Boys,’ Flamin’ Hot Pizza Flavor.” In the right screenshot, Kris reads a chart in the hospital. The narration text box says: “(It’s a classic 1-to-10 pain scale, using ICE-E as a model.)” End image transcript.]

In Deltarune chapter 1 we find numerous references and bits of foreshadowing for Ice-E and, lo and behold, we see that Ice-E’s restaurant exists in Hometown at the end of chapter 1. And notice how it’s multiple references and not just a one-off like last time.

In every example of foreshadowing listed above we’re given more than one hint of a character’s presence, and so far Everyman fits this same pattern. This makes me feel safe in assuming he will have a bigger role in the full game.

Everyman’s Importance

What’s interesting is that in Chapter 1, Everyman appears in both the light and dark worlds. So far Deltarune has kept the light and dark worlds largely separate from one another, with only Kris and Susie traveling between them (as far as we know).

Everyman’s presence in both worlds implies that either he can travel between both worlds as well, or at least that lightners and darkners are both familiar with him.

Based on what we know, I’d wager that Everyman is a lightner—specifically, a monster.  I say this for two reasons: 1.) so far we’ve only seen lightners (Kris and Susie) travel between both worlds, and 2.) this would explain Everyman’s appearance as one of Reaper Bird’s attacks in Undertale’s True Lab.

Why did Everyman appear in the True Lab?

The worlds of Undertale and Deltarune are connected. Toby has all-but-confirmed this himself.

[Image transcript: A screenshot from the official Deltarune website’s question-and-answer page. The question says “So there’s no connections between the two games?”. The answer says “It’s a different world that might even have different rules. That doesn’t mean there will be no connections at all though.” End image transcript.]

One major connection between Undertale and Deltarune is their largely-shared cast of characters. Many major characters from Undertale make an appearance in Deltarune’s first chapter, and Toby has shown that at least some characters from Deltarune’s universe have counterparts in the Undertale universe as well.

The Undertale Alarm Clock App makes reference to Rudolph Holiday living in the Underground some time prior to the events of Undertale.

[Image transcript: A dialogue box where Asgore says “Rudy... loved the holidays, you know.” End image transcript.]

This dialogue also strongly implies that Undertale’s universe has a counterpart for Noelle.

[Image transcript: Another dialogue box from Asgore. He says: “With a warm slice of fruitcake on the table. His youngest daughter peeking shyly from around the corner...” End image transcript]

Depending on how one interprets the Clamgirl NPC’s dialogue, there may or may not be an Undertale version of Susie (aka “Suzy”) too.

[Image transcript: Two Undertale screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Clamgirl tells Frisk: “Synchronicity...? My neighbor’s daughter looks about your age.” In the right screenshot her dialogue continues: “Her name is ‘Suzy.’ I feel like you two should be friends.” End image transcript.]

I’d argue that Everyman also had a “counterpart” in Undertale’s universe who lived as a monster in the Underground. Much like Rudy, the Underground’s Everyman likely grew old and eventually “fell down”. But unlike Rudy, Everyman was sent to the True Lab for the royal scientist’s soul experiments and became part of the Reaper Bird amalgamate.

This would fit with the pattern that we see with most other amalgamates, namely that they each seem to be made up of one named/noteworthy monster combined with several other generic monsters. The formula goes like this:

Lemon Bread = Shyra (Shyren’s Sister) + Aaron + Moldbygg

Endogeny = Muttler + various dog enemies

Snowdrake Mother = Crystal (Snowdrake’s Mom) + Vegetoids(?)

Reaper Bird = Everyman + Astigmatism + Whimsalot + Final Froggit

The Memoryheads seem to not “fit” with the other amalgamates, perhaps intentionally, so I’ll leave them out for now.

Long story short: Everyman was most likely a monster since he was part of an amalgamate and (as far as we know) amalgamates can only be made of monsters.

Why Everyman will have a bigger role in Deltarune

We see in Deltarune that three of the monsters who became amalgamates in Undertale have since passed away. This fits a trend I’ve noticed of Toby trying to “explain” the absence of characters who are prominent in one of his games but not the other.

The examples I cited above of Rudy, Noelle, and (possibly) Susie existing in Undertale’s universe also serve as “excuses” for where those characters were and why they were absent from the events of Undertale’s story. Rudy was dead and Noelle and “Suzy” were living with their families (presumably) in parts of the Underground where Frisk never ventured.

Shyra, Muttler, and Crystal are similarly “excused” from Deltarune’s story when the graveyard informs the player of their passing. Gerson is likewise excluded from Deltarune due to having passed away before the events of the game.

Conveniently, Everyman is not listed among the amalgamate monsters who have passed away in Hometown, and the alleyway graffiti implies he’s alive and well.

We know that Deltarune’s timeline and character ages don’t match up perfectly with Undertale’s—Deltarune Asriel is still alive and slightly older than Kris, who’s roughly the same age as DR Monster Kid. Conversely, Undertale Asriel died long before Frisk entered the Underground, yet Frisk is still seemingly in the same age bracket as UT Monster Kid (who’s barely younger than Asriel in Deltarune). Like Rudy, we can assume that Deltarune’s Everyman is younger than the Everyman who “fell down” in the Underground.

What will Everyman’s role be?

Remember when I said this was a two-part theory? Well, here’s the second half of my theory: Everyman is the Knight.

[Image transcript: A text box that says “Yes, you read that correctly.” End image transcript.]

Yes, the same Knight mentioned by Seam, Jevil, and the King of Spades. The same Knight who’s pulling new dark fountains out of the earth and who’s implied to be a major antagonist in the full game.

I could hedge my bets by saying Everyman is merely “connected” to the Knight, but if the Knight is a character we already know of then I think Everyman is the most likely candidate.

Let’s start with the name: Everyman’s sprites are titled “strangeman” in Undertale’s files. The very first mention we get of the Knight in Deltarune is Seam describing a “strange knight” who appeared, complete with red font for emphasis.

[Image transcript: Seam speaking inside of a shop, saying: “But, recently, a strange knight appeared... And three of the kings were locked away.” End image transcript.]

The word “strange” seems to be used selectively and very deliberately in Deltarune’s first chapter. Here’s a breakdown of all the times it’s used:

Seam referring to the knight

Seam referring to the Knight’s “strange son” (more on that later)

Telling Seam about Jevil (”Strange Prisoner”)

Seam referring to the “strange someone” that Jevil met

Seam mentioning the “strange words” Jevil said

Rouxls Kaard referring to Lancer (”a strange and irritating darling!”)

Narration before Kris seals the dark fountain (”You felt something strange.”)

Flavor text during the Jevil fight (”Kris gazed strangely”)

The Devilsknife/Jevilstail appearing in a “strange chest” outside of Jevil’s cell upon defeating him (this may be dummied out or only triggers if your inventory is full of weapons/armors and Jevil can’t give his item to you)

The description of the key to Jevil’s cell (”something feels strange about it”)

With the exception of the line from Rouxls Kaard, every instance of “strange” somehow connects to the Knight or Jevil. If the Knight is indeed the “strange someone” who Jevil met then the list tightens even further, to the point where all but one use of the word “strange” is associated with a single character and his handiwork—a very “strange man”, as it were. Speaking of Jevil...

Jevil’s connection to the Knight and Everyman

Jevil’s fight is one of two places where Everyman appears in Deltarune chapter 1. Not only that, but Everyman’s sprite only appears as a rare event during Jevil’s carousel attack, implying that his appearance is somehow significant.

Interestingly enough, the other two sprites that appear during this attack are one with a head that vaguely resembles Mysteryman (believed to be Gaster) and another with the head of a horse, a.k.a. the same as a knight piece on a chess board. It’s also worth pointing out that it’s rarer for the Everyman sprite to appear than it is for either of the other two sprites to appear.

We can also see the Everyman sprite represented in the official Chaos Revolving Keychain from Fangamer.

Jevil mentions the Knight once you defeat him, showing that he has knowledge of his existence.

[Image transcript: Jevil saying “THE HAND OF THE KNIGHT IS DRIFTING FORWARD.” End image transcript.]

This is interesting since Seam’s dialogue implies that Jevil was imprisoned well before the Knight overthrew the three kings at Card Castle. I can think of three possible explanations for this seeming timeline discrepancy:

Jevil is somehow intrinsically “aware” of things that go on outside of his cell

The Knight or someone else visited Jevil in jail to tell him about what happened with the three kings

The Knight is the same “strange someone” that Jevil met before he was locked up

The first explanation is the least likely, imo, due to Jevil asking who Kris, Ralsei, and Susie are when he first meets them.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Jevil is talking to the fun gang and he says: “BUT LO, THREE VISITORS STANDING INSIDE?” This continues in the right screenshot, where Jevil says: “WHO ARE YOU FEW?” End image transcript.]

If Jevil was aware of the outside world then he’d surely know of the fun gang’s antics by that point.

The second explanation doesn’t seem very likely either. Seam is the only character who acknowledges Jevil’s existence and we never see Seam visit Card Castle, even after the Spade King has been overthrown.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Jack Person tells the fun gang: “By the by, I asked Seam to come here, but...” Continuing onto the right screenshot, where Jack Person finishes by saying “There wasn’t any interest.” End image transcript.]

Jevil’s cell doesn’t seem to have any guards and it’s kept on its own floor, so that would rule out Jevil hearing about the knight from other prisoners.

If someone in the castle brings food to Jevil then he may have overheard it from them, but even that is speculative. Does Jevil even need to eat? He says his body “cannot be killed,” after all.

[Image transcript: Jevil saying “THIS BODY CANNOT BE KILLED!” End image transcript.]

And I’m not sure if the King of Spades would be so accommodating towards a dangerous prisoner.

That just leaves the third explanation, which seems the most likely to me. It’s also the tidiest explanation for how Jevil would be aware of both the Knight and Everyman—they’re the same person.

We can only speculate as to why the “strange someone” caused Jevil to run amok. If that strange someone was the Knight then I would assume that setting Jevil loose may have been his attempt to overthrow or destabilize Card Castle’s leadership. We know that the Knight eventually overthrew the three other kings himself, so that may have been his plan B after Jevil failed or he merely wished to remove Jevil as an obstacle. Either way, the Knight toppled the quadrumvirate and installed the Spade King as the protector of Card Castle’s dark fountain.

The Spade King’s clue

The Spade King is the closest ally of the Knight that we’ve seen so far. The exact nature of their relationship isn’t fully known, but the King’s words imply that he reveres and is loyal to the Knight.

[Image description: Four Deltarune screenshots arranged in a grid. In the top-left, the King of Spades says “By the Knight’s will, I shall shatter your heart to pieces!”. In the top-right, the King says “For the KNIGHT has appeared.” In the bottom-left, the King says “The KNIGHT that pulls the Fountains from the Earth.” In the bottom-right, the King says “My KNIGHT... I shall not fail you...” End image transcript.]

Both characters share an interest in maintaining the existence of dark fountains, given that the Knight has been said to create new fountains by pulling them up from the Earth.

Unlike Jevil, the Spade King’s attacks never make explicit reference to Everyman’s visage, but he does give a possible nod that many players have overlooked. When the Spade King is defeated, he makes a curious gesture by letting his cloak fly away like a butterfly.

While this may be a simple artistic flourish, I always found this moment to be odd and unfitting for a brutish character like the King. It’s also worth pointing out how the King’s cloak is clearly not a part of his body, unlike what’s implied with Lancer’s “clothes”.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the battle narration says: “You tell Lancer you can’t tell the difference between his clothes and his body.” The narration continues in the right screenshot, saying “He seems flattered... His ATTACK POWER went down!” End transcript.]

What if the King didn’t always have that butterfly-shaped cloak? Did someone give it to him? Think of where else we’ve seen butterfly motifs before.

At first blush, this seems obvious—the Reaper Bird is clearly made from the Core mercenaries, including Whimsalot. Whimsalot attacks with butterfly bullets, so that’s where Reaper Bird got them from, right? Case closed. Well, not so fast.

It turns out there are two different sets of butterfly bullets in Undertale’s game files, and Reaper Bird’s are different from Whimsalot’s.

[Image transcript: Two groups of butterfly bullet sprites. The left group is labeled “Whimsun / Whimsalot.” The right group is labeled “Reaper Bird”. End image transcript.]

Notice how Reaper Bird’s butterflies are smaller and have pointier, more symmetrical wings? While those differences could be chalked up to limited pixel resolution, it’s interesting how Toby went out of his way to create an entirely unique set of butterfly bullets for Reaper Bird when it arguably would have made more sense for him to recycle the Whimsun butterflies like he did for Whimsalot.

If you want to compare the sprites for yourself I suggest either looking at the game files directly or looking at an actual playthrough of Undertale. I’ve noticed that Spriter’s Resource mistakenly has Reaper Bird’s butterflies listed under Whimsun’s sprite sheet (which is a completely understandable mix-up).

To drive the point home, notice the string names that are used for these butterflies:

[Image transcript: An UTModTool window showing multiple named strings. Highlighted in red are six strings that each contain “obj_strangeman_butterfly” in their names. End image transcript.]

They’re “strangeman” butterflies. Not “amalgamate” or “Reaper Bird” butterflies (despite Reaper Bird having its own share of dedicated strings and named sprites), and they’re not “Whimsalot” butterflies either. Toby clearly delineates them as belonging to strangeman, a.k.a. Everyman, meaning that Everyman is specifically associated with butterfly imagery. The Spade King also makes use of butterfly imagery immediately after he mentions the Knight in his final turn.

Between the King and Jevil, this makes two characters that can be linked to both Everyman and the Knight.

Additional Evidence

Let’s circle back to Reaper Bird for a second. It’s commonly known that this amalgamate is made from Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot. To wit:

These enemies are part of the mercenary group that Mettaton hires to attack you in the Core. Have you ever noticed how out-of-place they seem? Almost every other set of enemies in the game is somehow themed around their environment — Snowdin enemies are ice creatures, Hotland enemies are fire/lava-themed, etc. These mercenaries are themed around medieval warfare and yet they show up in the Core, the most high-tech area in the entire Underground.

What’s even stranger is that this medieval theme seems to come out of nowhere. Astigmatism, Final Froggit, and Whimsalot act as “upgraded” versions of Loox, Froggit, and Whimsun, respectively. And yet their Ruins counterparts don’t have any medieval theming whatsoever—it was added purely for the mercenaries. For whatever reason they’re all dressed like a bunch of wizards and... knights.

[Image transcript: Two Undertale screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, a Core NPC says “Why do I look like a black sausage and not a knight or a wizard?” This continues on the right, where it says “Well... Everyone has an angle they look best from.” End image transcript.]

That’s not my interpretation of their designs—the game outright calls them knights.

On the one hand, it’s true that Asgore’s royal guards also dress up like knights, but the Core mercenaries are explicitly not part of the royal guard—they’re mercenaries.

[Image transcript: Battle flavor text that states “Mercenaries emerge from the shadows.” End image transcript.]

Assuming that Asgore has a dress code for his guards or is just old-fashioned in his sensibilities, there’s still no reason why fighters outside of the guard should follow their standard. Even some of the royal sentries don’t follow this theming, as seen with Doggo and Sans (who’s technically a sentry):

With the abundance of knight-themed royal guard and sentry enemies that exist already, Toby could’ve easily designed the Core Mercenaries to more accurately fit with the Core’s futuristic theme. Doesn’t it seem a little too coincidental that Everyman would wind up as part of the same amalgamate as these otherwise out-of-place knights?

When we look at the other amalgamates, we can see that Lemon Bread (a.k.a. Shyren’s sister) is made up of Waterfall enemies. Endogeny is made up entirely of dog-based enemies. These two amalgamates each have a “theme” for their component monsters that fits the “main” named monster they’re each made of, and Reaper Bird has a clear theme of its own. Why would Everyman be paired with a bunch of knights if he was not connected to them in some way?

Even the Undertale artbook groups Everyman’s concept art with the Core Mercenaries, specifically the ones that look the most like knights and wizards in-game. The book also repeats the name “Everyman” and Toby’s cryptic phrase of “Just a good guy who shows up on occasion.”

Perhaps Everyman knew the Core mercenaries when he was alive? Were they his fellow knights? Or did they work for him before he fell down and they had to then lend their services elsewhere?

“The Knight? Seriously?”

Some of you may be shaking your heads dismissively at the idea of Everyman being the Knight (or you more likely clicked over to another tab by now). I mean, just look at the guy:

What part of this design makes you think “knight”, let alone THE Knight? Well, Seam does refer to the Knight as a “strange” knight, and Everyman certainly fits that bill. But more importantly, we haven’t seen an actual overworld sprite for Everyman yet—we’ve only seen some graffiti and a couple of magic bullet attacks, which are always abstract and simplified.

Not pictured: Froggit, Migosp, Temmie, Moldbygg, Tsunderplane, Mettaton, or Endogeny.

Everyman’s “proper” design would almost certainly differ from his Pillsbury Doughboy-esque bullet sprite, especially if he’s wearing a cloak or a suit of armor. And even if his design doesn’t differ that much, so what? It’s not like this series has ever had an opponent that looks goofy or non-threatening, right?

Another little tidbit I noticed: one of Reaper Bird’s attacks consists of Everyman repeatedly removing his own head.

Or maybe it’s not his head? Perhaps it’s a helmet? Like one that a knight would wear? After all, it’s not unheard of for helmets to have beak-like protrusions.

And this is a series where helmets can come in any shape or size to better fit the needs of the wearer.

Just some food for thought.

The Gaster connection

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: “Isn’t Gaster supposed to be the Knight?” If you haven’t heard by now, this is one of the prevailing theories in the fandom. To be honest, if the Knight ends up not being Everyman then Gaster is the next-best candidate, imo, but these two theories don’t have to be mutually-exclusive. I think a case can be made that Everyman and Gaster are connected in some way.

Let me say up front that this section is highly speculative (unlike the previous sections, which clearly aren’t the least bit speculative). We’re dealing with two super-obscure characters who’ve yet to make a proper on-screen appearance in either game. It’s already hard enough to figure out how either of them connect to the broader Undertale universe, let alone to each other, but I’ll give it a shot.

For starters, we can affirm that both Gaster and Everyman are linked to the True Lab. There’s no shortage of fan theories and speculation on Gaster’s prior usage of the True Lab in his own experiments and I won’t get into all that here, but suffice it to say the True Lab has Gaster’s name written all over it.

(Am I the only one who thinks the DT Extractor looks more like Everyman’s head than it does a Gaster Blaster? Forget I said anything.)

We’ve covered how Everyman appears as one of Reaper Bird’s attacks. Interestingly, the amalgamate Memoryhead has an attack that resembles the head of Mysteryman, the figure believed to be Gaster (which I’ll assume here for simplicity’s sake).

If we follow the logic of my prior “Everyman is the named/important monster that makes up Reaper Bird, fitting the pattern of other amalgamates” argument, then Gaster (or pieces of him) could fill the same role for the Memoryheads.

Everyman and Gaster’s sprites both have the suffix of “man” in Undertale’s game files. Here are all the sprites that use this same naming scheme:

strangeman - Everyman

mysteryman - “Gaster”

snowman - gives you the snowman piece

riverman - a.k.a. River Person

darkman - the shadowy overworld sprites used for the Core Mercenaries

watchingman - The spoon-shaped amalgamate that tucks Frisk into bed

The snowman’s inclusion is a bit of a fluke, because what else would you call a snowman without using “man” in the name? If we exclude the snowman, each instance of “man” represents a mysterious figure that ties back to Everyman and/or Gaster.

We’ve already covered the connection between Everyman and the Core Mercenaries, and it’s easy to connect the “watchingman” amalgamate with the True Lab. River Person is also frequently linked to Gaster in fan theories (and they allude to “the man from the other world” and “the man who speaks in hands”), so what we’re left with is a close-knit community of strange, mysterious "man”s.

This naming scheme looks very intentional on Toby’s part, and he seems to be continuing it in Deltarune by referring to the secret unseen NPC who gives you the egg behind the tree in Scarlet Forest as simply “a man.”

[Image transcript: Narration from the secret egg room. The text box states: “(Well, there is a man here.)” End image transcript]

The Knight’s “Strange Son”?

Remember when I said I’d get back to the Knight’s “strange son”? That’s now. I’m a little iffy on this topic because it involves stacking a whole ton of assumptions onto a single line of dialogue that’s phrased in an ambiguous way. But, if it means what I think it means, it could shed a ton of light on Everyman’s possible connection to Gaster and whether either of them are the Knight.

When you ask Seam about the “Kingdom”, Seam says this:

[Image transcript: Three of Seam’s text boxes arranged vertically. In order, they read: “Historically, this land was ruled by the Four Kings, from CARD CASTLE to the East. But, recently, a strange knight appeared... And three of the kings were locked away. The remaining king put him and his strange son into power.” End image transcript]

Let’s focus on that last sentence. On my first playthrough I misread this line as “the knight put the king and his strange son into power” because that sounds a lot closer to the events that happened—the Spade King and his “strange son” Lancer are in power now because the three kings were locked away, presumably by the Knight.

But the actual text states the opposite—the remaining king (Spade King) put him (the Knight) and his strange son (i.e., the Knight’s son) into power. Or does it? The line could also read as—the remaining king (Spade King) put him (the Knight) and his (the King’s) strange son (Lancer) into power. The second way is  awkwardly-structured but technically valid. And this is assuming that Toby didn’t make any grammatical errors when he typed these lines, which he has done on occasion.

[Image transcript: A dialogue box where Dr. Alphys says “I felt so guilty knowing I hadn’t do anything to stop you.” End image transcript.]

Not to be too hard on Toby, but even if Seam’s line is grammatically correct it’s still clunky and murky in its conception—at this point in the game we’ve only just been introduced to Lancer and the fact that his dad is the King, and now this line is potentially introducing yet another father/son duo that is closely connected with Lancer’s dad—is it any wonder that this line is often glossed over by fans?

The second reading, where Lancer is the “strange son,” is also awkward because the Spade King would have little need to put Lancer “into power”. Lancer was already a prince and, presumably, already wielded power in that role. Various NPCs make reference to Lancer bossing them around, and such a thing could’ve easily happened before the three kings were deposed.

If we take Seam’s line with the first reading (where the Knight has a “strange son”) and assume there were no grammatical errors, then this is the only time in chapter 1 that the Knight is ever referred to as having a son. It’s also the only time that the Knight is addressed with pronouns, implying that the Knight is male. If true, this would rule out the theory that Kris (or any potential alter ego that Kris has) is the knight, since Kris is neither male nor do they have a son. This would also rule out Susie, who’s never been a popular contender for being the Knight but is referred to as a “dark knight” on her stats page.

Who made who?

So then, who’s male, widely believed to be the Knight, and is often depicted as having one or more sons?

This (alleged) guy!

“But wait,” you might ask, “isn’t your theory that Everyman is the Knight?” Well, the Knight and his “strange son” seem to be working as a duo in the scenario that Seam outlines, given that the Spade King put both of them “into power.”

Because of Everyman’s connections to the Knight that I’ve laid out, plus the more popular theory that Gaster is the Knight, it’s possible that one may be the Knight and the other may be the Knight’s “strange son.” The way I see it, it doesn’t make a huge difference which one is which.

Now, I don’t think that Gaster and Everyman would be father and son in the strict biological sense. There are a number of reasons for this, but for starters I’m not even sure if Everyman and Gaster are the same species. My inclination is that Everyman is a monster, while Gaster may be a darkner. The latter is mostly my own guess and springboards off of a popular theory that Sans is a darkner, but it’s a whole other can of worms that I won’t get into now.

More importantly, Gaster is strongly implied to have some sort of connection to Sans and Papyrus. All three of them are also connected with special fonts that they each use. As far as I can tell, there’s no widely-used font by the name of “Everyman”, so this would imply that Everyman is not a skeleton and therefore not biologically related to them. However, there’s more than one way to start a family.

Gaster was the royal scientist in Undertale’s universe and it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he (or his potential Deltarune counterpart) could find the means to create life forms artificially.

[Image transcript: The vessel creation scene from Deltarune. The on-screen text says “YOU HAVE CREATED A WONDERFUL FORM.” End image transcript.]

Everyman could be a creation of Gaster’s and thus he’d be Gaster’s “son”.

There’s also another possibility: Everyman is Gaster’s creator. We know that the Knight is pulling new dark fountains out of the Earth. I think the Knight, regardless of who they are, must be able to survive without a dark fountain to give their body form, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to venture into areas where new fountains have yet to be pulled up. The Knight is almost certainly a lightner, and I’ve already detailed why I think Everyman is a lightner as well.

We don’t fully understand how dark fountains interact with darkners, but it’s stated multiple times that dark fountains “give form” to the Dark World.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Ralsei’s narration says “Today the FOUNTAIN OF DARKNESS-” and continues into the right screenshot, saying: “The geyser that gives this land form-” End image transcript.]

In the dummied-out manual pages, Ralsei also mentions how his dark fountain gives his body form.

[Image transcript: Ralsei’s manual excerpt, whic says “Dedicated to The unending pillar of darkness that gives my body form.” End image transcript]

Darkners need dark fountains in order to maintain their forms. They may not even be able to survive at all without them. From this point of view, when the Knight creates new dark fountains he’s bringing new darkners to life. If Gaster is a darkner himself, then it’s not unthinkable to imagine that Everyman may have brought him to life in this way and could thus be called his “father”. Seam does refer to lightners as the “creators” of darkners, after all.

[Image transcript: Seam’s dialogue box saying “They were like Gods to us. Our protectors. Our creators. Those who gave us purpose...” End image transcript.]

Ultimately the question of who’s the father and who’s the son is purely speculative. We don’t even know for sure if the Knight has a son, let alone whether it’s Everyman, Gaster, or someone else entirely. It’s very much a “the chicken or the egg?” kind of question.

[Image transcript: Two images. The right is a screenshot of the egg room with narration stating “(You received an Egg)”. End image transcript.]

Hmm...

“Seriously, who is Everyman?”

Let’s bring this home with the question we started with: Who is Everyman? I’ve gone into evidence that he existed as an actual person in Undertale and will likely play a role in Deltarune, but this doesn’t tell us much about the kind of character he is. We don’t even know if “Everyman” is his real name.

If Everyman is indeed a prominent character in Deltarune then there are two possibilities: 1.) he’s a brand new character we’ve never met before, or 2.) he’s someone that we have met before. The first option, while a strong possibility, doesn’t leave us with much to talk about, so let’s look at the second.

Right out the gate I can confidently say that Everyman is not a character that we talked to or had significant interaction with in Undertale. The obvious reason is that he was busy being stuck inside Reaper Bird and he couldn’t have been in two places at once (as far as we know). This means that Everyman would have to be a character introduced in Deltarune chapter 1.

I’ve said before that I believe Everyman is a lightner, so this would rule out any dark world characters. That leaves us with the residents of Hometown who didn’t have direct counterparts in Undertale’s story.

After careful consideration I’ve narrowed the field to two suspects:

Father Alvin

Father Alvin has always struck me as an oddity. He seems like an important member of Hometown’s community, and yet none of the other residents ever talk about him. He’s also conspicuously absent from Undertale’s universe.

The most notable thing about Father Alvin is that his church seems to worship “the Angel”.

[Image transcript: Father Alvin saying “Let the Angel’s power light your way.” End image transcript.]

Ralsei’s prophecy states that the three heroes must seal the dark fountains in order to banish the “Angel’s Heaven.”

[Image transcript: Two Deltaunre screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, Ralsei’s narration says “Only they can seal the fountains.” The right screenshot continues, saying: “And banish the ANGEL’S HEAVEN.” End image transcript.]

This would put the heroes at odds with both the Knight (who’s creating fountains) and whoever is serving this Angel. We can only speculate on the Knight’s motives, but what if he’s acting in service to the Angel?

Something that isn’t brought up much in the fandom is the religious reverence that darkners give to their fountains. The King of Spades refers to the fountains that the Knight creates as “holy” fountains.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the King of Spades says “Holy Fountains, whose shadows are creating a new world...” The right screenshot continues, saying “OUR world.” End image transcript.]

The soundtrack that plays at the Fountain is called “The Holy.” Dark fountains can seemingly create life, so it’s easy to imagine the Knight viewing his own mission as some sort of holy rite.

As far as evidence goes for Alvin being Everyman/the Knight, the biggest clue is the drawing signed by Alvin that shows up in the supply closet at the end of chapter 1.

Every other object in the closet represents a part of the dark world that Kris and Susie visited, and yet at no point do they encounter a dark world manifestation of this drawing. We know that the Knight visited Card Castle previously, so this drawing could be meant to represent the Knight’s presence in that part of the dark world.

It’s also worth noting how most of the closet’s toys are arranged from left to right in the order that Kris and Susie encountered them on their journey. Alvin’s drawing is on the far right, just past the open cabinet drawer (i.e., Card Castle), implying that Alvin’s drawing was either at the fountain or that it was effectively the “next” thing that Kris and Susie would’ve encountered if they had stayed.

It’s hard to make out what the drawing could be beyond being a “poorly-drawn picture of a green turtle”, as the flavor text explains. Could it be Everyman? Or is it just a reference to Bold and Brash? Both? Neither? The world may never know. Or it may know when the full game comes out.

Can I also add how strange it is that Alvin’s drawing is in the closet to begin with? Alvin looks to be a pretty old dude, so why would his drawing still be in a school that he no longer attends? I don’t have an answer, I just think it’s weird.

Other clues that could point to Alvin being Everyman are that he is, scientifically speaking, old-looking, which would line up with my hypothesis of Undertale’s Everyman being an older monster who fell down before becoming Reaper Bird.

Alvin also vaguely resembles Everyman as far as their proportions are concerned.

It’s by no means a perfect match, especially if we factor in Alvin’s shell, but both characters possess a round head with some sort of beak or proboscis.

If Everyman actually is Father Alvin, then the title “Everyman” could be a reference to The Summoning of Everyman, a 15th-century religious morality play. I won’t get into the specifics here, but the play focuses on a character named Everyman who must prepare for his inevitable death and judgment for his deeds in life. I don’t really know how much that would tie into Deltarune’s themes or if it’s even a deliberate reference to begin with, so make of it what you will.

Father Alvin was the first character that I suspected of being Everyman when I started writing this theory, but there’s one major sticking point that prevents me from fully embracing the idea: the fact that he lacks a character portrait for his dialogue boxes.

This may seem like a minor nitpick, but dialogue portraits indicate when a character is important to the story, and it would be a pretty big oversight on Toby’s part if a (presumably) recurring antagonist wasn’t given a portrait. Even a three-scene wonder like Rouxls Kaard was given a portrait.

It’s true that recurring characters like Napstablook and Monster Kid weren’t given portraits in Undertale...

But Deltarune has greatly expanded the number of characters with portraits this time around, and we can already infer that Noelle (who had a portrait in chapter 1) will be an important character going forward:

Given Alvin’s limited dialogue in chapter 1 and his lack of a portrait, I’m more inclined to believe that he’ll end up being a minor character, in which case he’d almost certainly not be the Knight (and therefore not Everyman). But who knows, maybe Toby will give him a portrait in the full game.

Thankfully, we have another candidate who might be Everyman:

The Ice-E’s Employees

You think I’m joking? Trust me, you’ll know when I’m joking.

I didn’t initially make the connection between Ice-E’s and Everyman until I saw a post from @curioscurio​ that pointed me in that direction.

Let’s go back to the Everyman graffiti that appears in Hometown.

Notice how the drawing right next to it resembles Ice-E’s head? I can’t believe this was staring me in the face the whole time and I never realized the connection.

Another point in favor of the Ice-E’s workers is that we don’t even know what two of them look like. We know that Burgerpants is one, and another is implied to be the Nice Cream Bunny that we met in Undertale.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the Ice-E’s employee says “Psst, can I tell you a mascot secret? I only started working here because...” The right screenshot continues, saying “The logo made me think it was an ice-cream shop...” End image transcript.]

But this still leaves the “purple guy” and “The Warrior”, who remain in full costume for chapter 1, meaning that one of them could resemble Everyman underneath their mask.

Speaking of The Warrior, he certainly fits the bill as being “strange.” His title wouldn’t be out of place among the likes of The Knight, and his dialogue refers to the hospital’s medical staff as “white wizards”, which fits with the medieval theming that’s associated with Everyman’s mercenary cohorts in Undertale.

[Image transcript: Two Deltarune screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, the Warrior says “This castle’s WHITE WIZARDs relegated me to this HEALING CHAMBER...” The right screenshot continues, saying “But my BLOOD is BOILING FOR BATTLE!!!” End image transcript.]

Speaking of the Core Mercenaries, here’s an interesting tidbit:

[Image transcript: Two Undertale screenshots side-by-side. In the left screenshot, a Core NPC says “As a youth, I would sneak out to play by this creepy flaming pit.” The right screenshot continues, saying “Since the CORE is always re-arranging, it was like a game trying to find it.” End image transcript.]

I used to assume that the Core Mercenaries were older monsters who fought in the human-monster war, which would explain their insistence on dressing up as old-timey knights and wizards. However, these lines of dialogue imply that the Mercenaries are far younger—young enough to visit the Core when they were kids.

So why would a bunch of younger monsters dress up like old-school knights and wizards? Simple: they’re LARPers. This would explain why their more casual overworld dialogue doesn’t match their overly-serious battle dialogue whatsoever—the battle is over and, thus, so is the act.

What does this have to do with Ice-E’s? Simple. The Warrior is also a LARPer. But he takes it a step further and never lets the act slip. According to Burgerpants, he terrorizes customers with war chants during his day job, and we see him keeping up the act while he’s injured in the hospital. It’s clear that he’s living in a fantasy world, and someone like that would have every reason to spend time in a strange dark world that “seems like” fantasy.

[Image transcript: Lyrics from Deltarune’s credits theme. It says: “And the places that you know seem like fantasy”. End image transcript.]

Someone like him could grow attached to such a place and want to see it spread as far and wide as possible, with no regard for how it would affect the boring “real world”. All he’d need to do is create new dark fountains to sustain this fantasy world.

I also find it interesting that The Warrior is in the hospital during chapter 1. Burgerpants claims that this is the result of “pizza-related injuries.”

[Image transcript: Two dialogue boxes from Burgerpants. Read from top to bottom, it says “The Warrior - Thankfully absent due to pizza-related injuries. Constantly terrorizing customers with war chants.” End image transcript.]

But what if there was another reason? We can see signs of “some kind of struggle” in the King of Spade’s throne room, complete with tattered wall banners.

[Image transcript: Narration in the Spade King’s throne room. The text box says “(Wall banners. They seem to have been through some kind of struggle...)” End image transcript.]

What if the Knight sustained injuries when he overthrew the three kings and had to go to the hospital afterwards? A “struggle” implies that there was some resistance involved.

Another interesting coincidence is that the previews for Deltarune Chapter 2 strongly imply that it will take place in a dark world that forms in the hospital.

Earlier previews have also implied that Noelle will have a larger role in Chapter 2, and she’d have every reason to be in the hospital visiting her father when things hit the fan.

It feels awfully convenient that a new dark world springs up right in the spot where the Warrior is. I wouldn’t be surprised if chapter 2 gives us our first glimpse of the Knight in person, and what better way than a surprise run-in with the Warrior?

Some of you may be asking why I’d suggest a minor character like The Warrior might be the Knight when he has a single line of dialogue and no dialogue portrait? Simple: characters tend not to have portraits when their face is hidden from view. We see this with Undyne in Undertale:

She doesn’t gain a dialogue portrait until after she removes her helmet. This is also true of Burgerpants in Deltarune.

So, unlike Father Alvin, The Warrior has an excuse for not having a dialogue portrait yet. While Father Alvin has some compelling evidence supporting him being the Knight/Everyman, The Warrior has no major counter-argument that I can think of (unlike Father “no portrait” Alvin), so I give The Warrior the edge as far as Everyman suspects go.

I’d also like point out that if Gaster ends up not being the Knight or the Knight’s “Strange Son,” then we could get a two-for-one deal of Father Alvin as the Knight and The Warrior as his strange son. Definitely not the most likely outcome, but technically possible! I’d imagine those two would have a hilariously awkward dynamic if they were related.

Closing Summary

Wow, this post went on for a while! Let’s summarize what we’ve learned today.

Everyman (in Undertale)

Was likely a monster who “fell down”

Became part of the Reaper Bird Amalgamate

Likely knew the Core Mercenaries

Is connected to butterfly imagery

Described as “strange”

May or may not have looked like his bullet sprite

May or may not have been connected to “mysteryman”/Gaster

May or may not have been connected to the River Person

Everyman (in Deltarune)

Is alive and active

Is known to both lightners and darkners

Can most likely travel between the light and dark worlds

Is known of by Jevil

May or may not resemble his Undertale bullet sprite

May or may not be connected to “mysteryman”/Gaster

May or may not be Father Alvin

May or may not be an Ice-E’s employee

May or may not be the Knight or the Knight’s “strange son”

The Knight

Described as “strange”

Is pulling up new dark fountains from the Earth

Has been to the dark world

Is possibly a lightner/monster

Is connected to the Spade King, who uses butterfly imagery

Overthrew the other three kings at Card Castle

Is known of by Jevil and Seam

May or may not be Everyman

May or may not be “mysteryman”/Gaster

May or may not be the “strange someone” who changed Jevil

Likely male

Likely has a “strange son”

Everyman and the Knight (similarities)

Both are likely monsters

Both are alive and active in Deltarune’s world

Both are (presumably) male

Both have a presence in the dark world

Both are known by Jevil and may have met him previously

Both are associated with butterfly imagery to some degree

Both are connected to knight imagery

Both are described as “strange”

Both may be connected to “mysteryman”/Gaster

Both are foreshadowed in Deltarune chapter 1

Final Conclusions

So what do I really think? I’m reminded of Undertale’s original Kickstarter demo and how much of the full game’s story was left out of it. Right now we’re in a similar situation with Deltarune. I can’t view any of my theories with certainty because at the end of the day I have no idea what Toby’s going to write for the full game, but I can guess.

If I had to put a number to it, I’d say the odds of Everyman making further appearances in Deltarune is 95% and the odds of him being the Knight is about 66%. There’s always the possibility that Gaster will usurp the title of Knight and leave Everyman as the Knight’s “strange son” or as the far less illustrious role of “no one particularly important”.

If Everyman is in the game, I’d give 50/50 odds that he’s one of the Ice-E’s employees, mainly due to the Warrior’s situation lining up well with Chapter 2′s (likely) setting. I’d then give a 25% chance it’s Father Alvin and the remaining 25% as “anyone else”.

Thanks for reading all of this (or skipping to the end). I’ve seen hardly anyone talk about our favorite strange little man and I just wanted to get the word about him out there. Even if you don’t agree with my conclusions, I’m happy to (hopefully) ignite further discussion over this often-overlooked character.

For now I’ve said all that I can say on the topic. All we can do is wait and see what happens. Fingers crossed.

Special thanks to @curioscurio​ for inspiring me to make this post in the first place.

Date published: December 10th, 2020

[litandroses]

2021 Wrap-Up

Since 2021 is almost over, I thought I’d do a wrap-up of the books that made an impact on me this year. Not every book is for everyone, of course, but these books hit home for me in their own way even if “objectively”, they are not the best. To avoid long post annoyance, I’m keeping this short.

Here’s my top 10 of 2021 (in no particular order):

1.       Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee

-          This conclusion just stunned me and was probably the most satisfying I have ever read? It had the political maneuvering I didn’t know I needed, and very flawed and nuanced characters that made them feel so real.

2.       The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez

-          This was just THE gem for me. I stumbled upon this while scrolling through Fully Booked, I read it without having read the blurb first and I was floored with the prose. I didn’t even believe this was a debut novel! I strongly believe this deserves more recognition; Simon Jimenez deserves MORE recognition.

3.       We Belong by Cookie Hiponia Everman

-          Discovered this again through Fully Booked. A novel told in-verse with themes of sisterhood and family; immigration. Unexpected tears were shed. One of the most honest, heartfelt stories I have ever read.

4.       The Sword of Kaigen by M.L Wang

-          Look objectively, this may not be the best in terms of structure BUT it has one of the most memorable main characters I have ever read. Misaki is everything to me, such a strong character. The action here was relentless.

5.       Of Women and Salt by Gabriela Garcia

-          This had a very gripping start to the story, the narration was so strong. There’s a lot packed in this short book.

6.       To be Taught, if Fortunate by Becky Chambers

-          I don’t think Becky Chambers is a stranger to many readers. This novella has her signature prose and quiet vibes. Lovely atmosphere. I was in awe.

7.       On Fragile Waves by E. Lily Yu

-          I know many readers who didn’t like the prose of this book, I’m not one of them. I thought it complimented the story well and created a beautiful blend of magical realism.

8.       Remote Control by Nnedi Okorafor

-          Unique and sad. The kind of sad that’s just my cup of tea. I recommend this for lovers of vague endings (like me).

9.       Never Have I Ever by Isabel Yap

-          Philippine folklore and mythology will always have my heart. This is perfect for spooky season, and once again, for lovers of vague endings. Isabel Yap is a master in creating atmospheres for her stories.

10.   The Past is Red by Catherynne M. Valente

-          This made me angry and sad, more so as I read on. The narrator was unreliable, normally that would annoy me but not this one. It felt like whiplash.

Honorable mentions:

-          The Fifth Season by N.K Jemisin

-          State of War by Ninotchka Rosa

-          City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett

-          Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

-          Middlegame by Seanan McGuire

There were a lot of new releases I didn’t get to this year but maybe 2022 will be different! I discovered many new books and authors, I’m very satisfied with my reading year. I hope y’all are too! Aside from these, I have also managed to revisit the series that, well, made my taste the way it is? In other words, I don’t know who I would be without the Verity Cycle by Elizabeth Wein. I’d probably be drifting senseless. Code Name Verity is also nearing it’s 10th Anniversary! I’m very excited for the bonus content! If you haven’t heard of this, please do check it out, especially if you love historical fiction.

I’d very much love to know your top books for this year <3.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Coming Home for Christmas - (Mal Pugh x reader)

Mal loved Christmas

It was without a doubt her favourite time of the year. Every year it felt like she was 6 years old again as her excitement grew with each passing day getting closer and closer to Christmas. She just loved everything about it. The playing in the snow. Spending time with the family. Belting out the lyrics to Christmas songs. Drinking hot chocolate while snuggling up in front of the fire.

But what really made Christmas special was the people she spent it with.

One of the few downsides of being a professional soccer player is the lack of time. She spent so much of the year away from family and always training whether it be for club or the national team meant she didn't get to see her family as much as she would have liked. Not to say she regretted any of it. It was the one of the few sacrifices of being on one of the best teams in the world. No, what she regretted was the lack of time. She regretted how time seemed to slip by so easily. It just seemed to slip through her hands. She could do nothing but watch as it helpless slipped away.

But that's what made the holidays even better. She cherished the time she got to spend surrounded by her family and friends. It just made the holidays just so special no matter how stressful it was at times.

It was also a constant reminder of her relationship.

Y/n L/n has been in Mal's life since she was 6 years old. She has been there through the highs and lows of her life and her career. They had done practically everything together. Growing up she attended every single one of Mal's games and whenever she needed someone to help her practice Y/n was always there to fill whatever position was required. Y/n was Mal's first call after getting called up the National Team and you better believe your ass that Y/n was there in the front row cheering her on when she made her debut. It was only after Y/n surprised her at the game did she realised that she had fallen for her best friend.

Mallory had fallen and had fallen hard

So you can only imagine her delight when on Christmas Day 2017 after both being caught under the mistletoe together Y/n kissed her confessing how she's been harbouring feelings for the forward for a while now. Mal was so dazed by what was happening that she could only stare shocked at the poor girl leading her to believe she didn't feel the same. It was only when the girl started to stumble over her words apologizing profusely for her actions did Mal regain her senses and pull her back into a gentle kiss.

And that was the beginning of their relationship.

It also didn't hurt that it was the same day a year later that they told each other that they loved each other. Christmas for Mal was her favourite time of year for all those reasons. I mean how could you possibly hate Christmas after all that? She had everything she needed. But this year it was slightly different. She had the snow, she had the carols, she had the presents. She even had family.

But she didn't have Y/n.

See while Mal decided to join the Bruins and eventually The Spirit, Y/n enlisted in the Army. Ever since she was younger all she wanted to do was help people. She wanted to make people's lives better. She wanted to do some good in the world. So she became a medic for the Army. Running into battle to help the people who help serve and protect their country. And although it was tough they preserved. Y/n's selflessness was one of the reason she fell in love with her and as much as she hated being away from her, Mal knew that she couldn't stop Y/n from doing what she wanted to do and that was to help people.

She missed her girlfriend. But Mal knew that it wouldn't be for much longer. Y/n promised she would be here for Christmas. It was their holiday. She would never miss such and important day for the two of them. And she never breaks her promises. Which is why Mal as happy as could be answered the facetime request immediately after seeing her girlfriend's name flash on the screen.

She immediately stopped everything she was doing and smiled as she answered the facetime request. She practically squealed when she saw the image of her girlfriend who's been away from her for over a year now, "Hey Babe!" But her smile faltered when she saw Y/n give her a weak smile in return, "Hey Love". Mal scrunched up her eyebrows, "What's wrong?" Y/n sighed and bites the corner of her lip as she stares back at her long term girlfriend.

Immediately Mal knows something is wrong. Mal has known her girlfriend long enough to know that her has a habit of biting the corner of her lip when she's nervous about something.

Or something has gone terribly wrong

"What's wrong?" Mal asks as she frowns lightly at the screen. Y/n's shoulders slumped as she released a big sigh dragging her hand down her face. This did nothing to ease Mal's nerves, "Y/n?" Y/n looked sadly at the Mal as she wanted nothing more than to hug her in this moment after the disaster of a day she had today, "There was an attack on the base...".

Mal's eyes widen, "Oh my god! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She quickly shakes her head, "No! No I'm fine. Everyone's fine. A few bumps and bruises but nothing we can't handle". Mal could see Y/n look down no doubt playing with her fingers before she looked back up at her sadly, "The plane on base that was planning on bringing us home was damaged in the attack". Mal's breath hitched as Y/n continued, "It was the only plane on base at the moment and there's a storm incoming and they don't think they can get a plane here in time before it hits".

"What does that mean?" Mal asked her voice dropping to a whisper. She tried to look anywhere else but her y/e/c met Mal's brown orbs lacking their usual sparkle, "I don't think I'm going to be home for Christmas".

It was that moment that Y/n wished nothing more than to tell her it was a terrible joke. She could feel her heart break as she watched as Mal's face dropped. The smile that never failed to light up a room disappeared in a second.

And the worst of it all was the fact that there was hundreds of miles in between them stopping her from comforting the love of her life.

"I'm really sorry Love. But because of the storm they can't get another plane to get us home. And it means that they're short on medics so they need me to stay until they can get someone to replace me. I swear Mal if there was a way-" she tried to soften the blow as if it would relieve the forward in some way.

Mal could see how distraught the medic was at telling her the devastating news. She knew that she would rather give her left arm than miss Christmas at home. She knew that she was trying her best to seem okay for her because as much as Mal hated the idea of not being together for Christmas.

She knew that Y/n hated it more

"Babe?" Mal says stopping Y/n from her ramble before she went into a downward spiral. She tries to put on her most convincing smile as she looks at her through the camera, "Y/n it's okay. I-its okay really. There's nothing you can do about it. It's just really unfortunate timing". Her face softens as she looks at me sadly, "You know I'm going to do everything in my power to get back home to you as soon as possible right?" Mal smiles lightly, "I know".

It looked like she wanted to say more before her name was called sounding very urgent, "Shit Love I'm really sorry I have to go. His condition just dropped-". But I shake my head, "It's okay go save a life". She snorted at the saying her girlfriend had taken to telling her everytime she had to go away. She quickly kissed her hand putting it to the camera before quietly whispering, "I love you superstar". I smile at her softly, "I love you too Hero". She gave me one last smile before the call disconnected.

Mal sighed as she dropped her phone burying her head in her hands. The most important holiday of the year and she's missing the most important person in her life. Mal loved Christmas.

But this Christmas already seemed off to a bad start.

............

"Is everything okay Mal Pew Pew?" Sonnet asks as she dropped into the seat across from the sombre forward. Everyone noticed that the forward's mood had dropped significantly since the day before. Everyone knew how excited she got at Christmas. The already happy going forward just seemed to shine even brighter at Christmas.

So what happened between yesterday and now that made the forward do a complete 180?

"Yeah what's up? There's been something off with you since yesterday" Lindsey adds as the rest of the team listened in on the conversation. Mal just checks her phone once more only to see that there is still no new message from Y/n. The forward sighs as she runs her hand through her hair, "Y/n's base was attacked".

Everyone's eyes widen as they look at the younger player. "What? Is she okay?" Rose asks sitting up. Mal nods, "Yeah she's okay but she won't be home for Christmas". Everyone was silence. They all knew how important Christmas was for Mal and Y/n. They saw how much the two loved each other. They were the light of each others lives. And they knew how devastated they must be being away from each other at such an important time of the year.

"Awe we're sorry Mal" Christen says as she drops into the space beside the forward with Tobin right beside her as always. Mal shrugs trying to play it off, "It's okay. There's nothing we can do about it. Just really unfortunate timing". Nobody says anything knowing that nothing could make up for the loss of a love one on the holidays. All Christen did was pull the younger forward into a hug.

After all the hell that was the Corona Virus the team decided to hold a massive team celebration for the holidays. All the player's families were all going to join at the end of camp and all spend Christmas together. And while Mal was grateful she would be surrounded by so much friends and family, nothing could replace Y/n being there.

If only she knew how much Y/n was busting her ass trying to get home to her....

...........

Y/n stood back straight hands behind her back as the general looked her over. He eyed one of his top medic up and down, "Are you sure this is what you want?" But all she did was nod respectfully, "Yessir". Even though he look a bit reluctant he nodded nonetheless, "Although I don't like it". Y/n  tensed up before he continued, "I respect your decision and understand why you want to". Y/n relaxed the tiniest bit as she nodded at her superior, "Thank you sir". He starts to nod before he starts filling out some paperwork, "Go pack your bags".

Y/n scrunched her face lightly, "Sorry sir? I don't understand". He just glances up at me with a small grin, "You have a plane to catch". He looks back down going back to writing, "You better hurry. The planes going to be here soon and you need to leave soon to beat the storm". You couldn't stop the smile spreading across the young medic's face, "Thank you sir. For everything". He looks up from his paperwork, "Go home to your girl L/n". Y/n gave him one last salute before rushing out to go pack her bags. The General shook his head with a small smile. Although he hated losing his best medic he knew that where she needed to be was home.

It was the best news she had ever heard. They were somehow able to scramble a nearby charter plane to bring some troops home. Y/n being one of them. Within 15 minutes Y/n had all her belongings packed and was running towards the plane which was scheduled to lift off in 2 minutes. She had just make it into the plane as they were about to lift off. As she had got on the plane she took out the small Polaroid picture of her and Mal. She smiles as she ran her thumb over the creased photo showing just how many times she had taken this photo out. She quickly placed a gentle kiss to the precious photo before tucking it away again and instead swapping it out for her phone.

It was a long flight home but it was okay because Y/n had some major stuff to plan and it would all be worth it in the end to be able to see Mal on Christmas Day.

............

"Christ" Y/n mutters as she pulls her jacket closer to her. Being away from home for so long she almost forgot how cold it was in her home state. However the cold Colorado weather did nothing to deter the medic though as she felt a wave of warmth flood through her as she knew she was so close to seeing her family again. She was close to seeing her Mal again.

Although it seemed like the world was against her today.

It was hard enough for Y/n to find a taxi to drive her to where she needs to be. She blamed it on the heavy snow falling and the fact that most people were probably at home, all bundled up in blankets surrounded by their loved ones enjoying one of the best holidays of the year.

Exactly where Y/n should be right now

Thankfully her prayers were answered as one car pulled over and allowed her in. She quickly told the driver where she was heading before slumping against the seat. They were driving comfortably for a while and Y/n struggled to sit still in the seat.

That was until she faced her next problem

"Shit.." the driver mutters quietly but Y/n was able to hear him over the popular Christmas songs playing quietly from the radio. Y/n leans forward, "What's wrong? Why are we stopped?" The driver gave her a sympathetic, "Sorry but the snow's too heavy and is blocking the roads causing traffic. It pretty much bumper to bumper right now". Y/n sighs as he turns to her fully obviously seeing how important it was for her to get where she needs to be.

Y/n flops back against the seats, "Fuck..."

.............

"Okay time to hand out presents!" Vlatko calls out to all the families scattered around the room. Mal grudgingly gets up from playing with Marley who had been doing well from distracting the girl from missing Y/n right now to now sit beside her sister as everyone moved to the Christmas tree they had set up.

Brianna who could see how much Mal was struggling to get into the Christmas spirit without Y/n present, "You okay?" Mal plasters on a fake smile even though she knows that her sister knows just how fake it is, "I will be". Brianna doesn't say anything and instead turns to her daughter who looks at her aunt confused tilting her head, "I think Aunt Mally needs a hug right now. Don't you think Marls?"

The small girl smile and jumps into her aunt's arms never one to deny a hug. Mal chuckles lightly as she hugs the small girl back, "Thanks Marls". Marley smiles brightly as she turns so she's sitting in Mal's lap as she starts to fiddle with the forward's fingers to keep her occupied.

Mal sat and watched as people one by one exchanged gifts which lifted her spirits the tiniest bit. The team had made it their mission to help their crestfallen teammate. They had done everything and anything which came with the perfect Christmas. They had baked cookies, made gingerbread houses, sang Christmas carols, built snowmen, everything. Which Mal appreciated very much as it relieved the ache in her heart slightly.

And before she knew it, it was her turn to pick presents. "Want to help me open my presents?" Mal asked the little girl in her lap who nodded enthusiastically. But just as they started tearing into the first present the door burst open.

Mal's face scrunched up as she heard her teammates gasp looking at something behind her. She shifts around turning to see how has her teammates attention. But her eyes widened as she saw who stood behind her staring straight at her.

Because there stood Y/n L/n

Brianna was the first to recover as she moved her daughter out of her sisters lap and into hers. At this Mal scrambled to her feet and ran into Y/n who had her arms open waiting for her. "Your here" Mal cried out into her shoulder as she clutched onto her for dear life, "your really here".

Y/n had never felt more complete in her life as she wrapped her arms around the girl she so desperately loved, "I'm here Love. I'm home". Hearing this Mal pulled back and kissed Y/n harder than she ever had before. In any other moment they would have been mindful that they were in a room filled with the family and friends but all that mattered in that moment was each other. After being away from each other for just over a year, all they cared about was that they were back in each others arms.

Once they separated Mal looked into Y/n's eyes as both their eyes started to water, "But how? I thought-you said you couldn't-". Mal just couldn't get the words out but Y/n chuckled, "Did you really think I wouldn't move heaven and earth to make it back to you for Christmas?" Mal laughs but as she wrapped her hand around her neck and Y/n held her face in her hands she flinched lightly, "Why are you so cold?"

Y/n looked a bit sheepish as she gave her a small smile and her cheeks flushed but Mal could tell whether it was from the cold or her question, "Well I was in a rush and I didn't get time to change. And then we got stuck in traffic and then the taxi broke down. So I kinda ended up running here".

Mal pulled back a bit shocked, "You ran here? Babe it's snowing outside!" "Oh trust me I know" Y/n laughed making her girlfriend shake her head at her in disbelief. "Beside" Y/n grinned, "it's not the first time I ran through a snow storm to tell you I loved you". Mal smiles at the memory of how when they first said that special 4 letter word with Y/n almost killing herself in the process as she ran through a snowstorm to Mal's house to tell her before Mal could even get a blanket around her to warm her up.

"Your so stupid" Mal mumbles as she brushes from snow out of Y/n's hair. But that doesn't stop the massive face splitting smile from spreading across Y/n's face, "I love you too". Mal smiles as she presses another kiss to her girlfriend's lips, "I love you more than anything in the world".

Mal took her girlfriend's hand and dragged her towards their friends and family, "Cmon let's get you warmed up". But they didn't make it far before something collided with Y/n's legs, "Y/n!" Y/n smiles as she picked up the small girl in her arms, "Hey Marls". The small girl tucked herself into the crook of Y/n's neck and she wrapped her arms around her neck in a tight hug, "I missed you". Y/n just kissed her head and hugged her back gently, "I missed you too Marley". "Not as much as me" Mal said quietly leaning into the medic's side causing her to wrap her arm around the soccer player.

After greeting her family and friends from her long time abroad she found her place right beside Mal as they resumed opening Mal's presents. The two were making sure that they were always touching in some sort of way as Marley help the two open Mal's presents. Once Mal opened her last present Y/n gave her a small smile, "I'm sorry I don't have a present for you..." But Mal simple shakes her head intertwining their fingers, "The greatest gift I could ever receive is having you home for Christmas".

Y/n smile brightly, "Well that's good because..." Mal frowns as Y/n detaches theirs and stands up in front of her for a second. But that all changes when Y/n bends onto her knee.

There was a pin drop silence as everyone watched in awe as Y/n pulled out a small box smiling at the forward who's eyes started to water once more with her hand clasped tightly in front of her mouth.

"Mallory Pugh" she starts, "you have been an essential part of my life since I was 6 years old. I couldn't possibly imagine my life without you there. Through the highs and lows, through the best and worst of times we have been there for each other. And the thought of not being home for Christmas with you made me realize something". She takes a deep breath as she sees tears stream down Mal's face, "I don't ever want to worry about missing another Christmas with you. I want to be home for every Christmas for the rest of our lives. I want to be there cheering you on at every match. I want to be the one you come home to and argue about with one of us do the dishes". Everyone laughs while Mal snorts remembering all the playfully arguements they have over who's turn it is to do the dishes only to end up doing them together in the end.

"I want to start a family with you. I want to give you all the things I promised you if you'll let me. So..". She opened the small box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring, "Will you, Mallory Diane Pugh, make me the happiest person alive and marry me?"

Mal doesn't even say anything and instead flings herself into Y/n's arms. The force of which sends the two of them toppling to the ground. But Y/n barely had anytime to recover as Mal smashed her lips against hers. They were vaguely aware that everyone else was cheering like mad for the young couple. When Mal finally broke the kiss, the two of them gasping for air, Mal nods frantically, "Yes. Yes! I will marry you". Y/n smiled before bringing her into another kiss.

As Y/n lifted them up off the ground they were immediately swarmed by their family. "It's about time!" Horace laughs as he hugs Y/n. Mal's eyes widen, "You knew?!" He shrugged sending a wink at the medic, "She's had our blessing since you were 18". Mal looked at Y/n who blushed, "I asked ages ago but I wanted to wait a little longer until we were both stable". Mal nods and interlocks their fingers kissing her cheek.

"So how long do we have you for?" Rose asked after looking at the ring perched on her friend's finger. Mal's smile falters slightly as she looks to her now fiancée. But Y/n smiles brightly down at her soon to be wife, "How about forever?"

Now this catches everyone's attention

"What?" Mal breathes out. Y/n smiles, "As of today I have been honourably discharged from service". Mal jumps up again wrapping her arms and legs around her, "Your staying?" Y/n nods kissing Mal's temple, "Forever Love. I'm staying forever".

Once again everyone smiles the young couple as Vlatko smiles, "I guess now is a good time to introduce our teams new addition to the medical staff". Everyone turns to Y/n who smiles. All the youngsters plus Kelley jump on top of Y/n and start cheering. "I'll also be taking over diets and fitness training alongside Dawn so I don't know if you'll be cheering for much longer" Y/n laughs.

Once everything gets back on track, Mal takes residences in Y/n's lap as they move onto Tobin's gifts. "I love you so much Superstar" Y/n whispers in Mal's ear as Tobin unwraps a new skateboard from Ash. "I love you too Hero" she whispers back. Y/n presses a kiss to Mal's shoulder as she wraps her arms around the smaller girls waist. This had to have been the happiest moment of their life so far. Nothing could top this not even winning a World Cup. But what did you expect.

They both loved each other more than they love Christmas

Hey guys!!! First off Merry Christmas or happy holidays!!! (Whichever). I wrote this a few days ago in the build up to Christmas and I hoped you enjoyed it. Christmas has always been a special time for me so I hope this brought you a little joy whether you celebrate the holiday or not. Even though it's been quite strange this year I hope you enjoy the day and get to spend it with the people you love. Anyways I hope you enjoyed. Once again Merry Christmas and until next time, bye!!!

[soundofseventeen]

Long Way Home (Jeon Wonwoo)

I would just like to take a moment and say FUCK PLEDIS, lmao. Also Haley requested this forever ago and I’m just posting it, so I hope this is okay.

Inspo

Word count: 5325

You could already hear Minghao scoffing at you in your head. He didn’t believe in perfect days so if you even explained the weekend’s events, he wouldn’t have believed you. So naturally, you were just gonna tell him it was a good time. The sun was almost done setting and you could feel the tan/burn of your days spent outside. Wonwoo cracked open the windows to let the hot air out and turned on the ac, letting the coolness hit your face and making you feel sleepy, and you could hear faint chuckling.

Spending a weekend in Changwon to (properly) meet his family turned out much better than you expected. Instead of taking a plane or train, he opted to make a road trip out of it, picking you up at the crack of dawn on Friday morning. You'd stopped at the gas station at the beginning of the trip, buying all the soda and junk food your arms could hold and rolling the windows down as the sunrise progressed into the morning. The more the world woke up, the more energetic he became and the louder he cranked up the volume.

While you did admire his onstage persona, intimidating you with the way he spewed venom when he rapped, it was another thing to hear him sing off-key to your song choices and giving you his dopey grin whenever you judged him. Wonwoo pointed to everything he remembered from his childhood along the way, stopping at a few places that he was sure that you’d like, like the frozen yogurt place that offered more toppings than he knew what to do with; or the second hand bookstore that gave away bookmarks after buying more than seven books. His favorite part of the road trip had been pulling over at the pet shop he begged his parents to stop at when he was younger but obviously said no.

Wonwoo laughed a lot the whole way there, enjoying the warmth of the sun through the windows and threading his fingers through yours and occasionally bringing them to his lips and kissing your hand, almost forgetting it was the weekend where he had planned to introduce you to his parents and trying his best to keep your nerves calm. It looked like it worked because he didn’t see you playing with your hair or drumming your fingers anywhere or even looking out the window. In fact, when he was about to ask how you were feeling you had fallen asleep somewhere along the way and he just laughed, letting go of your hand.

From all the stops you made, you didn’t get to his parents’ place until mid afternoon. His dad was outside washing the car when you pulled up. Wonwoo got out first and greeted him, trying to make up for all the lost time in that hug. You had to look away from that because it felt too personal for you even though you had those moments multiple times before. They talked for a moment and then he turned around and waved you over. You took a deep breath, fiddling with the door handle and you slowly got out. 

“It’s so good to see you Y/N!” Wonwoo’s father greeted you cheerfully. He didn’t know whether to shake your hand, bow, or hug you right away. He opted for the last choice. “Wonwoo talks nonstop about you! I was afraid he was making this up!” 

“It’s so nice to see you too,” you smiled at him. You kept your grip firm but not enough to hurt him. An awkward pause from you. “Thank you for having us over this weekend.”

“It’s no trouble at all. I missed seeing you here.” He fished out the keys from his pocket and pressed the panic button on it, not saying anything else until another figure emerged from the door.

“Yah! I told you to stop making noise before the neighbors file a complaint on us again!” The woman who became like a second mom to you marched over to him and smacked his shoulder. “Have you forgotten my name or something?” 

“I could never,” he chuckled, “but our guests are here.”

“And you couldn’t take them inside?!” She shook her head at, finger raised and ready to scold him. 

“It was easier if you did it.” He turned the nozzle back on the hose, the water spraying onto the car. “I still have this to clean.” He momentarily aimed it at her, and she screamed, which made him laugh.

“My children! How are you?” She kissed Wonwoo’s cheeks, pinching one of them and straightening his shirt to keep him presentable. “Y/N, you’re looking as lovely as ever.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, oh my gosh.” You wrapped her arms around her and did that little dance while hugging. “I’ve missed coming here. How are you?” You missed her warmth.

“Everyday is a good day.” Wonwoo’s mom brushed some crumbs off your face. “I’d invite you guys in, but my house is still a mess. Bohyuk won’t be home until after his detention.” She shook her head just thinking about it. “So, we can stay out here for a couple minutes. Or are you tired?”

“Y/N slept the whole way; I was so bored.”

“You woke me up early,” you whined. “No one wakes up before dawn.”

“Some of us sleep at dawn,” Wonwoo retorted, slinging an arm around your shoulders and trapping you in his hold.

“You’re not human. Ahh! Wonwoo, let me go.” 

“First say you’re sorry.” He didn’t know how much it hurt to laugh this much with you, and you weren’t even doing anything remotely funny. He finally let you go though, panting hard to catch his breath. “You will be the death of me, you know that?”

“Am not!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“YES….DAD!” Wonwoo hollered, spitting out some of the water that had landed in his mouth when you got sprayed. “What was that for?”

“I see the bickering hasn’t gone away. Since you guys wanna fight so much, you can go pick up your brother after his detention.”

“Who’s fighting?” Wonwoo looked at you. “We’re not fighting. We’re best friends.” He draped his arm over your shoulder again, bringing you close to him, which made you blush for some reason and you smacked him. “Aren’t we friends, Y/N?”

“I’ve never seen you in my life. You’re mistaking me for someone else.”

*

“This is why you should go along with my foolproof plans,” Wonwoo said a little while later, towel drying his hair and offering another to you. He noticed you still shivering from the cold so he pulled you out into the sun, hoping to warm you up.

“Nah, you still end up getting us in trouble.” You wrung the water from your shirt, surprised at how much it managed to absorb from the sprays Wonwoo’s dad hit you both with and then took it from him gratefully. 

“I’m sorry. My parents are a little more excited for us visiting than I thought.” He brought the towel to your arms, drying you up a little.

“You don’t have to apologize. They miss you. The idol life is hard for everyone, you know?” You shuddered when his cold hand touched your cheek to press your foreheads together. Some of the droplets fell from his hair and landed somewhere on you.

“The rumors are true. Gross.” You both turned your attention to the voice, pinpointing it as Wonwoo’s younger brother as he gagged. “Oh my god, it’s my worst nightmare come true.”

“Shut up. You knew this was coming.”

“I want you to know that I lost a bet for saying you weren’t gonna….stay away from me. You’re wet and I don’t want Y/N’s germs on me.” He waved at you. “Hi Y/N!”

“Hi Bohyuk,” you smiled at him. “Still getting into trouble I see.”

“It wasn’t my fault,” he protested. “If the teacher kept to the right instead of going to the left, then she wouldn’t have been showered with baby powder.”

“How juvenile.”

“Sure, you made the move on my babysitter, but I’m the juvenile one.”

You winked at Bohyuk. Due to babysitting him, you and Wonwoo had become friends. Not best friends who told each other everything, but occasionally hung out at school and sometimes studied at the local library before he went away to train to become an idol. And as Bohyuk grew up, the Jeons didn’t require your services anymore but they helped you get another job as a thanks for your help. 

You weren’t sure how you and Wonwoo managed to reconnect, no matter how many times you looked back on it. You just remembered that one day you were closing up at work….and you swore you just blinked when Wonwoo had dropped by for a visit. Even then, your feelings didn’t develop right away. You didn’t feel your heart break when he left again, and you didn’t chase him to see if he felt something. There was that sadness, yes, but you got over it just as quickly as it came. Always bad with texting during one of the times you exchanged numbers, he only responded when he remembered to and he made up for it with lengthy paragraphs and e-gift cards for you. But once he debuted, you saw him either onstage or in photocards.

And when you moved to Seoul to fill the hunger you had for adventure….nothing happened….at least, not at first. You didn’t bump into him at a coffee shop where he invited you to dinner and confess his feelings for you when he dropped you off at night; and he didn’t spy you in the crowd during one of his comebacks and make his forget lines. In fact, the first time he saw you, he sped through your neighborhood and saw you throwing out the trash, but he wasn’t even sure it was you, so he forgot about even asking you. 

Your paths eventually crossed one day while coming back from work and you picked up dinner you ordered ahead of time. He had been there with Soonyoung and Chan, waiting for the rest of their members when you walked in through the door when he saw you. He had been in the middle of a story but the bell dinging interrupted him. The funny thing was that he didn’t stutter or stop his story when your gazes locked; he merely smiled and waved at you and continued as if you weren’t there, but it wasn’t until you were getting ready for bed that he had messaged you on one of your social media accounts asking why you didn’t say hi or let him know sooner you were in town, but otherwise made no other move to make plans to hang out with you. 

You supposed the thing that got the ball rolling was finding him at a bookstore. Only instead of him looking for books like you were, he was on a coffee run with Seungkwan, but while waiting for their orders, he saw you in the young adult section, taking pictures of the covers and possibly sending them to someone. He left Seungkwan hanging in the middle of the conversation to ask what you were looking for, which scared you and made you drop your phone. By the time you picked it up, he already had a couple of books in his hands, which he swore you would like because he enjoyed them a lot. In the middle of that, he apologized through his laughter And with that he pulled out his membership card for the discount and shooed you to the checkout line and went back to check on Seungkwan who looked offended at having his story time ruined but had the self control to not ask who you were until they were in the confinements of the car and he mentioned you were an old friend.

You asked him about the books….if they had been made into movies or a series or something, and gave him your honest thoughts and opinions, and he offered his own. He seemed more surprised at the fact that he had forgotten how well you could discuss literary works and even though you had different opinions on each, he respected that. He didn’t even think that it would turn into something more (and neither did you), so he didn’t think much about it every time he asked you to go out with him. But then after misreading the signs one night, you kissed him. 

Although he had been shocked, he was also pleasantly surprised at how much he liked it, but he asked you to take it slow with him because of his life and he didn’t want to hurt you if anything were to come out of it. And he credited you for being as patient as you were. He sent you his schedules for the week (and sometimes the month) to see when it’d be okay to see you for more than just your casual outings and after Jihoon knocked some sense into him, he dove in and asked you on a proper date, unsure if it had been the right thing to do.

And now as he looked at you passing the plate to his mom and how you listened intently to whatever story she had been telling you, he figured it was worth it...even when you caught him staring and stuck your tongue out at him.

*

Saturday had brought you cruising the neighborhood and bickering over trying to remember what the abandoned buildings once held. You waved to vaguely familiar faces asking each other if someone was your friend or his. It was Wonwoo’s turn to play the music, but none of it matched the vibe of the day, so naturally, you skipped songs until they felt right 

You stopped by the library, a little heartbroken to hear that the librarian who used to help you two find books on several occasions had passed away. The last time you saw him before you left for Seoul, he had expressed how much he would’ve loved to see you both at the same table one day and fighting over whatever it was people your age argued about again. They did, however, have a photo hanging by the kids’ section as a memorial and Wonwoo let you rest your head on his shoulder while you paid your respects and spoke softly about how your lives came to be like this. You stayed long enough to read a chapter book from your childhood and renew your library cards knowing full well you wouldn’t come back anytime soon and promised the photo of the deceased librarian that you’d stop here every time you were in town.

For lunch, you stopped at a Chinese restaurant where you found out that the head chef there was now the owner of the chain. She remembered you two as the ones who’d order the biggest plate of orange chicken and split it but always left the vegetables on your plate. She led you to your favorite table, feeling a little guilty at seeing your names carved in there from your adolescent days. For old time’s sake, you ordered the same food, only this time you got your own food since you could afford it now. Wonwoo slurped his noodles loudly, partly to annoy you and partly because food that good needed to be known by making as much noise as possible. The chef/boss even comped your meal because of how adorable you two were together and she seemed pleased to know she played a small role in it. Wonwoo may have left a really big tip as a thanks.

In the afternoon, he brought you to the wide schoolyard of your middle school days. You sat under the big shady tree where you’d hang out with your small group of friends and watched Wonwoo walk to the bench where he hung out with his friends. You brought out a journal and a small speaker to listen to music to fill the silence you didn’t wanna hear just yet. You caught your journal up on the events so far, not leaving any details out and just proclaiming your love for the haven the weekend created. 

Wonwoo had with him a soccer ball and kicked against the gate, creating a ruckus and you asking him to knock it off, mostly because it wasn’t the noise he had in mind. He watched the way you scribbled across the pages, wondering what you could’ve been writing, seeing as though he’s been with you and nothing really seemed worth remembering. After a few more “goals” he scored, he sat down next to you and closed his eyes, to gain some of his strength back. He didn’t ask you to read what you wrote but he asked what you were thinking about, letting your words paint a picture in his imagination At one point, in a fit of boredom he took all his stuff back to the car and re-emerged with the guitar that Jihoon let him borrow. He was still practicing how to play it, so he wasn’t all that great yet, but it didn’t discourage him. He was still playing when you asked for the keys to trade your journal for your switch, figuring a video game seemed like fun. 

When the late afternoon turned to dusk, you both stood up, having gotten a lot further in your respective books than you expected, and stretched, letting the blood flow across your bodies and feeling lightheaded with the sudden movements. He grabbed your hand and together, you explored the campus, reminiscing about the worst and most useless classes ever thought of and why they even existed.

“Wonwoo, I’m not saying you’re wrong, but algebra? We kinda need that. Computer skills on the hand….”

“I could live my whole life without knowing whether parentheses or exponents, especially when you add letters to the equation...no pun intended.” He pointed to the woodshop class, ranting about the stupidy of school districts needing permission to teach sex ed classes but apparently preteens were mature enough to handle heavy machinery that could cause bodily harm and how he almost sliced his finger one time because the board he needed for a project wouldn’t cooperate with him.

“Do you remember this is where we first had lunch together after I started watching Bohyuk?” Wonwoo shook his head and you continued, hoping to jog his memory. “You didn’t say hi or anything. You literally just sat-” you pushed him down on the seat, you nearly falling on him but catching yourself in time, “-right there and started eating your chicken burger as if it was the most normal thing in the world.” You smiled a bit. “I didn’t even know who you were and you scared me.”

He nodded. “I remember some of that. But I only needed to tie my shoe and then you started talking and you haven’t stopped since then. I didn’t have lunch with you though. That was probably a different time. We didn’t become friends until way later.”

“It didn’t happen like that. We became friends really fast….stop shaking your head! My memory is better than yours.”

“What did we have for breakfast?”

You opened your mouth, ready to fire off the first thing you had this morning, but then you scrunched your face up, trying to remember. Was it pancakes….no! They were waffles! You dunked them syrup….right? You were pretty sure you had juice though. Wonwoo had coffee and maybe a bagel….you think. “I-” Your eyes darted everywhere, anything to spark a memory, but you came up empty. You closed your mouth again, lower lip sticking out.

“That’s what I thought,” he said smugly. He squatted a little to get to your eye level. “Who’s my favorite person in the world?” He reached out to poke your cheek to get you to smile. “Come on, friend. Who is it?”

“No,” you pouted, shaking your head at Wonwoo when his smile widened.

“What did I get you for our first official date?” 

“Coasters with kittens you and Seokmin named after the Weasley twins.” You weren’t sure why you remembered that, but it just stuck with you. “Stop trying to be cute with me, you little shit.”

“Okay, fine.” he kissed your forehead, chuckling. “We became friends that day. And what else do you remember about those days?”

“I saw you a lot at the book fairs; you were in the school’s top 30 biggest readers, and you kissed someone under the basketball court during PE once.” 

“I didn’t know you had a crush on me back then.” He pinched your cheek lightly. Well, he’d probably never tell you that he had one on you for about four days, but it went away. But he’d say just about anything to get that blush on your cheeks, even if it meant accidentally busting you but you not admitting to it.

“Come on, let’s go home already. Your mom’s probably waiting for us so we can all eat.”

“Hey, Jagi?” He had to know now, even if you weren’t gonna give him a clear answer.

“What?”

“Did you really have a crush on me?”

“What’s important is that we’re dating now and not reliving the most embarrassing parts of my life.”

He took that as a maybe.

*

Sunday morning, after staying up a little too late playing many, many rounds of Mario Kart, Wonwoo’s parents decided on an impromptu family day at the beach despite knowing that you’d have to leave later in the day to get back to Seoul at a (somewhat) reasonable hour. You made sure you had all your stuff packed so you wouldn’t forget anything and you joined the Jeon family for an early-ish breakfast with Wonwoo’s mom pouring too much syrup on her husband’s waffles, despite his protests of not liking it anymore. (He took one bite of them though and proceeded to snatch the bottle away and almost drown them in the gooey mess.) Bohyuk was more interested in whatever noise was coming from his phone than anything else, and Wonwoo almost falling asleep on his waffles. 

You chucked one of the wadded up receipts from your pocket at him and he jumped up, nearly knocking his glass of milk over and you laughed. He seemed wide awake the rest of the day though because he sang all his favorite songs at the top of his lungs on the drive to the beach while you fed him gummy worms and constantly asked him if you were there yet, to which at one point, he pulled over on the side of the road, unlocked the passenger door and told you to get out. 

Once the scent of salt hit your nostrils, you bounced in your seat excitedly, talking at a million words a minute about the last time you spent the day at the beach and how it’s felt like forever since you felt like a kid and had he not been driving, he would’ve kissed your head at your cuteness, but he did take your hand and squeezed it. But when your feet actually touched the sand, you remembered just how much you hated it when it got into your shoes and socks, so you took them off, not caring you’d eventually get blisters from how hot the ground was.

It wasn’t too fully packed with people but still you didn’t stray too far from the family, watching Wonwoo slowly dip his feet in the water but make no other effort to go further inside because Bohyuk was the dutiful brother trying to push him inside. 

You wrote down the non interesting events in your journal, enjoying the waves crashing on the shore and the gulls flapping their wings and reluctantly reading a couple entries to the curious mom. You drank your water happily to keep you hydrated, especially since the sun seemed warmer than most days. Wonwoo did call for you sometime later, and you raced to the water, jumping eagerly over the waves and grasping at his hand when one almost knocked you over. A little before you had to leave, you and Wonwoo walked through the shore, holding hands and just enjoying each other’s company. Truth be told, you didn’t want to leave; you wanted to stay in this paradise, where you didn’t have to worry about anything except maybe falling into the water and possibly taking Wonwoo down with you.

Eventually, Wonwoo did have to gently remind you that home was quite a ways away and a few of the boys wouldn’t forgive him if he didn’t show up, and he had to pull you of the water to say goodbye to his parents. Wonwoo’s mom cried a little, saying she’d miss you both and Wonwoo’s dad hinted at you staying a little longer, going as far as saying that he could call someone at Pledis to excuse him for one more day, and the idea was tempting but you had to go and they only let you leave when you promised you’d come back soon. 

The sun had finally set when you were at the halfway point of home, and you were proud of yourself for staying up with Wonwoo as long as you did. He didn’t have much to say other than asking if you were hungry from time to time.

“You’re not ready to go home yet, are you?” you asked, stifling a yawn. You managed to crack a small smile when his hand found yours and entwined them.

“Not yet. I had so much fun this weekend.” He snuck a peek over at you scrolling through your phone, the brightness illuminating your face. “Are you still scared of my parents?”

“Yes and no. If we break up, it’d be a little hard to tell them that, don’t you think?”

“Or we can get married and hope we end up like them.”

“Jeon Wonwoo, you haven’t even told me you love me yet, and you’re already deciding our future.” You were grateful that he couldn’t see you blushing, but you didn’t feel like outing yourself by asking him to turn down the air. You had to admit the idea was nice though. 

“I didn’t say I love you. I’m just saying that if you don’t wanna tell my mom why we broke up, this can be an option for us and she’d never know.”

You could feel your eyes closing, the small banter tiring you out. Maybe he could make it home without you bothering him. The big neon signs could keep him company and possibly feed him since he often talked about grabbing a bite to eat. You weren’t hungry, but you felt as though you could sleep through the end of the world. You didn’t catch what Wonwoo told you, but you could feel him patting your head.

*

When you woke up from your nap, the car smelled like food and the streets looked familiar, but you still shut your eyes just in case you were dreaming. You could feel the disappointment of going home bubbling deep inside you. You didn’t want the night to end; you didn’t want to say goodbye to Wonwoo yet. It felt like you didn’t spend enough time with him. Maybe you should’ve stopped at a restaurant or maybe you should’ve stayed up with him. Was it too late to call one of the boys and say you got a flat tire on the way back? Maybe you could tell Wonwoo that you forgot your phone...and the one resting on the cupholder was his mom’s.

“Come on, sleepy head. I know you’re up.”

“No, I’m still sleeping. You can’t make me get up if I’m not awake.” You opened one eye, peeking at your surroundings. Pretty soon, Wonwoo would turn right and then go down a few more streets and then once you passed his favorite grocery store, you’d be home. You didn’t want that.

“Come on. We have to get up for work tomorrow and you have a lot of other things to do.”

You shook your head. “No, not yet.”

“What if I promise to take you out on a date this weekend? Or we can stay at my place and bug everyone?”

“No.”

“What if I spend the night after everything’s done? I know I promised Chan I’d do something with him, but-”

“No.” you felt childish but you couldn’t help it. “I’m still asleep.” 

“Please Y/N?”

Slowly you opened your eyes, sighing in defeat. You had a good weekend at least, but now you had to face the reality of tomorrow as soon as you got home. You saw the McDonald’s sign, getting ready to hear the blinker to signal his turn, but instead of turning like you expected, Wonwoo drove straight ahead. “Uh, Wonwoo? I think you missed the turn.”

He shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “Do you feel like taking the long way home tonight?”

At this, you nodded. You liked when Wonwoo could read your mind and it comforted you to know that he felt the same way, even if he wasn’t as vocal about it. He let his phone choose the songs as he drove on, making random turns and not caring about where he was taking you. He just wanted to be with you until the last possible second. 

“I didn’t know you liked Green Day,” you commented when he stopped at a red light.

“I don’t think I’ve heard enough of their songs to know if I like them, but Vernon probably got into my phone. I can’t understand a lot of what they say anyway.” He shook his head. “All I know is that I question the whole anarchy thing.”

“I mean we jam out from time to time so it can’t be all that bad. The light’s green now.”

“Always in a rush to leave, aren’t we?” He waited a couple more second before driving down a few more streetlights (all of them turning red when he’d pull up) before making another turn that led you to a rural part of Seoul...and the outskirts from the looks of it. You came across a few neighborhoods, Wonwoo explaining how he’d like to live in something like this one day after the whole idol life/military discharge was over. He picked up the habit of kissing you whenever you stopped at the stop signs, liking the fact that it seemed like you were the only two people awake at that hour. 

Eventually he had to take you home, but he took every detour he could find, taking advantage of all the streets that he could find stop signs and red lights, so he could kiss you a little more and have those milliseconds add up. He finally stopped at your apartment building, turning off the music and looking up at you. “We’re here.”

“Thank you for this weekend, Wonwoo. Can we do it again?”

He nodded. “I’d like that a lot.” He deliberated a moment before turning off the ignition and all the lights dimming around you before turning off completely. 

You sighed quietly, feeling sadder than you should’ve but you unbuckled your seatbelt and opened your door. “Good night.”

He caught your arm before you could leave. “Jagi?”

“Yeah?”

He leaned closer to you until he could kiss you one more time. “Good night.”

Maybe you weren’t falling in love with Wonwoo yet, but you were more than okay with taking it slow. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he whispered.

It was your turn to lean in quickly and kiss him good night. “Thank you for taking the long way home.”

[putschki1969]

Wakana e-onkyo Interview English Translation

Note: The first interview with Wakana regarding her cover album. Some juicy details so be sure to check it out!! A little highlight: Hitoshi Konno provided his violin playing for the album!! As always, take everything you read with a grain of salt, my Japanese is by no means perfect. If you want to use this translation or parts of it, be sure to CREDIT me and LINK to this post.

■ SPECIAL INTERVIEW ー with Wakana

Wakana debuted in 2008 as a member of Kalafina. In February 2019 she made her debut as solo singer. Her cover album "Wakana Covers ~ Anime Classics ~" has just been released. It features anime songs in a classic arrangement. Be smitten by Wakana’s charming and expressive vocals, she adjusts her voice to fit the mood of each song. Also pay attention to the unique sound which perfectly conveys the image the different arrangers envisioned. We talked about the songs, her singing,  the arrangements and the overall sound.

── I think everyone has long been hoping for you to release an album with the concept of covering anime songs with a classical arrangment. What inspired you to pick this particular timing?

Wakana: It was partly because I appeared in my producer’s event "Satoshi Takebe Premium Duo Session Special Vol.9 Satoshi Takebe x Wakana" last November. Takebe-san suggested we should do some covers and I told him I would love to sing some Ghibli songs. That’s how we ended up performing a Ghibli medley which was a lot of fun. Having had that amazing experience, I was planning to do a series of live performances starting this spring where I would cover anime songs in collaboration with a female group called 1966Quartet.

── Unfortunately all plans for spring this year were ...

Wakana: Yes, the live was cancelled before it even got announced. However, I had planned to hold the second instalment of that concert series in December anyway so we decided to just start from there.

── So were you planning to announce the release of the album during the spring live and then accompany the release with the winter live! Was it supposed to be like that?

Wakana: Actually, at the beginning, it was only a live project, I had no plans to release an album. However, during the stayhome period while I was filming videos for my fan club, I asked the fans, "are there any songs you want me to sing?" There were many people who mentioned anime songs, especially Ghibli songs. Needless to say, I loved all the suggetions and I realised that fans would probably be very happy if I released an album in advance of the live. So, while secretly starting the album production, I uploaded some covers on YouTube to get everyone excited. Eventually I was able to announce that, “yes, I am actually working on an album!”

── When it comes to the production of an album like that, the most difficult thing is selecting songs.

Wakana: If the choice had been up to me only the album would be full of Ghibli *laughs*, in order to prevent that I gathered the opinions of everyone around me and this is how we ended up with the final tracklist. For example, I came up with the idea to include a "Doraemon" song and some newer pieces from Makoto Shinkai movies but "Yatsura No Ashioto No Ballade" and "Get Wild" are songs that I wouldn't have suggested myself. I didn't think I would ever cover a song like "Get Wild".

── With so many Ghibli songs to choose from wasn't it particularly difficult to decide which songs to include in and which songs to give a pass?

Wakana: It was!! For example, I was adamant about having “Kaze no Toorimichi” on the album but that forced be to remove “Teru no Uta” from my list because both songs have a similar atmosphere. Then there were songs like “Kimi wo Nosete”. When I performed it together with Takebe-san at this live it left such a strong impression on me. Plus, I have always liked it so I KNEW I had to have it on the album. In fact, this song came to my mind first when thinking about the selection of songs for this album, I was literally crying removing song after song from my list of candidates but I comforted myself with the thought that I would eventually use all those songs for my live performance in December!

── How did you arrange each of the songs once you managed to select them?

Wakana: I asked three arrangers to help me this time, Shin Hashimoto, Miki Sakurai and Shu Kanematsu. According to the image I wanted to convey with each song, I gave it to one of my three arrangers. We held many remote meetings where I first talked about the image I had in mind for the individual songs and in response to that, the arrangers sent me their suggestions... Everyone came up with absolutely wonderful arrangements that go far beyond anything I could have ever imagined!

── I think that deciding on the key is also a problem for a cover song. Did you decide that after consulting with your arrangers?

Wakana: It's not as simple as to just change a male singer's song into a key that is easy for women to sing, after all, you don’t want to ruin the atmosphere of the song by changing the key too much. To begin with I sent sample recordings of me singing certain patterns for each song to the arranger and then arranger would suggest a key they found fitting. I asked them to send me accompaniment that matched their preferred key and then I re-recorded my singing with their accompaniment to get a feel for the overall atmosphere. So with that sort of exchange between myself and the arrangers we selected the perfect key that would suit each song.

── When you say that you don’t want to ruin the atmosphere of a song by changing the key, what exactly do you mean by that and could you name a song where this applies?

Wakana: Take "Rain" for example, the key is a little too low for me which doesn’t exactly make it easy for me to sing but I think that singing it with this key will bring you closer to the world created by Senri Oe and Motohiro Hata. A world that’s filled with tears, tears by men.

── "Rain" is a song with particularly strong emotions from a male perspective.

Wakana: It took a while to get into the lyrics. Kanematsu-san who was in charge of the arrangement helped me interpret the song from a male perspective. Towards the end of the lyrics there is a line that says "Whistling, I follow". Why does he whistle in this moment? I didn't understand. So when I asked Kanematsu-san, he said, "I think the man in this song is trying to appear cool." And indeed, when I read other phrases such as "incapable of words" or "in front of the eyes of the world" at the beginning it suddenly made sense. Once I had challenged myself with this song I came to the conclusion that I want to sing more manly songs from now on. This song truly taught me the pleasures of reading and singing certain lyrics.

── And then on the contrary, we have a song like “Yasashisa ni Tsutsumareta Nara” which is sung from the point of view of a little girl.

Wakana: I knew I had to give this song to Sakurai-san to arrange, it needed a woman’s touch. That image of Kiki flying though the sky and that final scene where Tombo finally flies on his very own machine. This song has such a refreshing vibe and a sense of speed, it’s transporting you right into the future. It was not my intention to change those images, I wanted to stay very faithful to the original atmosphere. That’s why I asked Sakurai-san to keep the refreshing vibe and only make some other slight changes.

── Being overwhelmed with love for a song like this, did you have trouble approaching it as a singer?

Wakana: When I went to see one of Yumin-san's live performance, Yumin-san said, "I'm so happy that I am still in love with the world I envisioned as a girl." This brought tears to my eyes. There is still so much love. You have believed in God since you were little and you want to do your very best without ever giving up just like Kiki! That’s it!! That's why this song has such a girlish cuteness and innocence! But how to best express it through my own singing? I worried quite a lot about this. I consulted with Sakurai-san and Shin Hashimoto-san, who was in charge of the direction of all the songs, and somehow we decided on a singing style that all of us liked.

── Although it is faithful to the world of the song, it does not really resemble Yumin's singing style. For example, Yumin is applying a lot of vibrato starting from the first few lines but you are stretching out your notes in a calm manner followed by a bit of vibrato.

Wakana: That way of singing is unique to Yumin. I was not trying to simply copy the original songs, nor was it my intention to surpass them. I just love these songs so much which is why I tried singing them with as much joy and carefreeness as possible. I think I was able to do that because I had lots of time to face each song during the stay home period.

── So you were able to sing these songs you love so much without putting too much effort into it?

Wakana: In terms of singing, I was working a lot on my breathing technique this spring, so I guess the results of that came out while I was working on the album. My vocal coach said, "humans do not consciously inhale or exhale. If you exhale naturally, you will inhale naturally so there is no need to overthink it. This was especially true for “Toki ni wa Mukashi no Hanashi wo”, when I want to sing as if I'm talking, I don't want to put consciously add a breath. After all, I don't think about breathing when I'm talking. So I just let it happen naturally. 

── Is there anything we should pay attention to in terms of the sound of the arrangement?

Wakana: Everything really. But there is maybe one thing I would like to point out ... I was surprised that Kanematsu-san suggested we arrange "Inochi no Namae" with only strings and no other instruments. Listening to this song by itself is amazing but hearing it alongside the other tracks is quite fascinating because there is an audible change due to the lack of other instruments. In addition, the beautiful atmosphere from the recording studio is conveyed wonderfully through the music. When we were recording it felt like time had stood still.

── Are there any other things that impressed you when you were present at the recordings?

Wakana: “Ai ni dekiru koto wa mada aru kai” was arranged for piano, violin, and cello but we used the main area of Victor Entertainment’s largest studio to have Okuizumi-san play all by himself on the cello while Shin-san on the piano and Konno-san on the violin were recording in adjacent booths. We wanted the sound of the cello to be heard clearly since it takes up such a big portion of the song. Speaking of sound, “Yatsura No Ashioto No Ballade” is rather simple and only consists of my singing and a piano accompaniment.  We did a very basic racording and kept it quite raw without adding too much sound components to the song. I wanted to create a special atmosphere for the recording so we darkened the room, and I sat in a chair. All of a sudden I was becoming aware of sounds I had never noticed before, the creaking of the chair, my clothes rustling. I didn’t want these noises to be included in the recording because I feared it would end up being too raw so I made a lot of effort to record it while making as little noise as possible *laughs*.

── I was surprised by the arrangement towards the end of “Get Wild”  since you didn’t add a semitone-upward key change.

Wakana: …… Ahh! Now that you mention it.

── But it didn’t take away from the enjoyment since the tension was still incredibly high from the interlude, I didn't even realise at first that there was no modulation *laughs*. Besides, if you had transposes it up a semitone according to the original song, it would have sounded too pop-like and the classical atmosphere would have diminished.

Wakana: Regarding "Get Wild", I was particularly worried that the charm of the song would be lost by using a key more suited for a female singer. So I was adamant to make this song the most powerful out of all tracks. I asked the members of 1966 Quartet to record it because I wanted this song to have a sprinting vibe reminiscent of their Beatles and other UK rock covers. As for my singing style, unlike "Rain" which I sang in the early stages of production with gradually strenghtening, I sang this song with a lot of strength from the get-go both in the verses as well as in the choruses.In the original sample I sent my singing was still quite soft but then I realised that wouldn’t work, I needed something different so I decided to sing in a fierce manner from the first note onwards. The arrangement is also based on that.

── In your YouTube videos - including a recording of “Get Wild”- you are using Victor's new model "HA-MX100V" as monitor headphones.

Wakana: Those headphones have a really clear sound and I am not only using them for vocal recording but also for track down, mastering check, home recording and video editing. Also, in the latter half of the recording, I started using Shure headphones recommended by Kanematsu-san and my engineer. When using them, you hear the exact same thing in the recording booth and control room !

── You use Victor and Shure for your work. What about headphones outside of work?

Wakana: When I am travelling by train or car I like to listen to music. So Sony's noise cancelling headphones are my favourite. Even when I am  travelling on a heavy rainy highway, the sound of the rain and the roaring noise in the tunnel are all cancelled out! I also have wireless earphones and use them quite a lot.

── Good headphones are becoming more appealing than ever for music fans especially now with the ever-increasing number of live streams.

Wakana: That’s true! If you are using wireless headphones, you may be worried about the synch-gap between the video and audio so I think that a pair of high-quality wired headphones is perfect for a live stream. For my upcoming live "Wakana Anime Classic 2020" the audience capacity has been halved so we also decided to offer a live stream option.

── That’sgreat news!

Wakana: I think that some people find it difficult to attend the live because of the distance to Tokyo and the fact that they do not want to worry about getting sick in the current situation. So I'm very happy that everyone can enjoy it in the form of live stream. Since this is my first attempt there is still a lot to learn but with the help of many people around me we are trying to think of various things to make this experience enjoyable for everyone. There a re a lot of things to consider after all, things such as stage sets and video production.

── You mentioned that you would be singing songs that didn’t make it to the album?

Wakana: Definitely! And of course the songs from the album but I would like to sing them with a unique arrangement that can only be heard during the live performances. Please look forward to all of it!

── I'm looking forward to it!

Wakana: And there is something that’s actually still a secret ...

── What is it?

Wakana: Four Hippos will be the appointed image characters for my live! Since I am only doing covers I thought it would be fitting to use hippos as motif. [Note: “hippo” in Japanese is read the same way as “cover”]

── Thank you.

[wetheformidables]

top 5 WIPs from 2020

Thank you so much for tagging me @phoxphyre, @caitybuglove23 and @foolofabookwyrm! 

So...I have ✨ yet ✨to make my fic debut in the fandom, but I have been working feverishly in the last weeks to change that!  Being part of such a kind, loving and supportive community has been all the inspiration and encouragement I could ask for 🥰

Couldn’t resist posting because 1) I’m a little tease and 2) I need you all to bully me into finishing these p l e a s e , so here are lines just kidding these are more than lines from five of the WIPs I’m most excited about, among countless others, god, truly a disgusting number of ideas languishing together in a google doc. Writing these odd bits and ends and shaping them into proper drafts has made me feel diabolical all this month and so here’s to seeing them properly out in the world in 2021! 😇

the how-the-turns-have-tabled-Simon-is-plotting fic

“Bunce,” he says, and as much as I hate to indulge Simon in anything regarding Basilton Pitch, I must admit he does have that classic vampire look.  Only, now it’s less Dracula and more Nosferatu with those bags under his eyes and a pinched sort of look that reminds me of the shriveled rat Simon once showed me. (He put it in a sandwich bag and waved it about shouting, “Evidence!”)(We were banned from the library for a week.)  

I feel a sudden stab of pity for Basil.  

“I don’t know what Snow is about,” he says, “but you need to help me put an end to his plotting.” I would laugh at the way he stage whispers plotting if I didn’t know what Simon has planned. 

the soft oh-my-god-there-was-no-truce-and-we-meet-again-after-watford fic

It’s a startling realization to find that for all my not-thinking, I have thought of his skin against mine, that this want was somewhere tender and sleeping, because my whole body is awake with it now, thrumming and prickling, the closest thing I’ve felt to magic since losing mine. I can almost smell it, and I wonder how long I have imagined that magic smells like cedar and bergamot.

the mordelia-is-a-menace-and-says-entirely-too-much fic 

The twins are too young to reveal any of Baz’s embarrassing secrets, and the baby only stares sluggishly at me, which is probably why when Mordelia asks if the Chosen One can sit by her at dinner, I look hopefully at Mrs. Grimm and try not to meet Baz’s eyes.

the final-battle-enemies-with-benefits fic 😈

He has never been this eloquent in his life. Aleister Crowley, this is how it ends. With Snow speaking words without magic, that carry an incantation that will set me alight all the same. I want to blame the unsteadiness I feel on the excursion of the fight, yet another fight. There is always another fight. The last night we spent in Mummers House was something like fighting too, but closer perhaps to what we have been spoiling for since we were fifteen.  

I have dreamt of that darkness, that heat, that room these five years, have dreamt of his hands on me, have dreamt of everything he is daring to put into words here and now. When he speaks again, I think I might have been wrong about there being no magic in the words, because I’m rooted to the spot. 

the little-wraith-that-wasn’t fic 

or the real wraiths were the friendships we made along the way

The whole village calls me Stew, because my mum always used to say I was thicker than stew. Which explains how I have gotten myself into this caper, creeping along the back gardens of the Pitch estate—which everybody knows is haunted—and climbing a trellis. I don’t know why I still hang out with the lads who dared me to do it. They know I’m afraid of heights. 

“Don’t look down,” I tell myself, finding a foothold in the wooden lattice.  

God, we’re down to the wire and I imagine everyone has beat me to tagging you for your Top 5s, so consider this not so much a summons if they have, but rather a thank you for making me feel so welcome in the server and this little corner of tumblr 💕 but also because I think you are rad, here’s to another year of chaos! @snowverylost, @otherworldsivelivedin, @snowybank, @unseelieseelie, @banjjakbanjjak, @amphipodgirl, @annabellelux, @nick-eyre (hi 🥺) and honestly everybody damn, you are all so cool, thank you for being you 🥰

[irisallenm]

Perhaps — Kugo Sakamata (Gang Orca) x Fem!Reader

I know I said I had an Aizawa Soulmate thingy buuuuut I got THIRSTY about Kugo, and some HCs that I read here in Tumblr made me change my mind (*coffcoff* @love-toxin, @kazooli , and @fantasydaydreamers *coffcoff*). So instead of that being my first I'm gladly presenting you my try at writing in english, just for you. ENJOY.

AO3 Book

Next | Third | Last (Coming Soon)

Part 1 of 4 in the "Us" Series, (1.3K words).

Warnings: Angst, my bad english, Kugo being the villain he think he is.

During the License Exam Arc — You got yourself an opportunity to finally meet your No. 1 Hero, but it goes wrong...

Keys to read this:

Y/N: Your Name

E/C: Eye Color

If you did not know better you will said that Gang Orca was the best hero ever, even if everyone kept saying he totally looks like a villain, but for god’s sake, why fear someone who keeps saving the city EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

You were angry, to say the least, you have never meet him, but it was your dream. Being a marine biologist yourself, and part of the aquarium staff,  you could not see anything but beauty in him. Someone with a little bit of influence got you a pass to the hero license exam, even tho you were not taking the exam per se. The reason? Watching him being… well, just him.

This was your birthday present, turning 25 years old was something big and this was, in fact, the best present of all your life.

‘What do you think about him, Y/N?’ Said a man with black hair, he looked sleepy.

‘This could not be any better, he is so close that it seems he’s right next to me’. Your voice chirped with emotions. ‘I even bring flowers! That way you can give them to him’.

‘How about we introduce him to you?’ The green haired woman who was trying to hug the other man blurted out. ‘And you give him the flowers in person’.

‘Wait, really?!’ Your hands could not stop trembling. ‘I… I would be honored, I’m really a big fan of his, I admire him with all my heart---

You covered your mouth with both hands, your face red and fully blush.

‘Eeeh, is this what I think it is?’

‘No, Ms. Joke, you got it all wrong’

‘I don’t think so, honey. That was very forward of you, are you perhaps in love with him?’

Silence, a thicc and heavy silence.

Admiration? Yes. Happy? Obviously. In love? You didn’t know.

‘I do not think I could call it that, I don’t know him in a personal way, I don’t even know his real name, nor his favorite color, or what makes him angry, and even if this was not the case, you already know I’m quirkless, he would never look at me in that way’.

Sigh.

Sadness, Ms. Joke tried to said something but was interrupted by commotion.

You ran up to the balcony and saw with fear as your hero was covered in an unstable blazing whirlwind, like a fire prison, but relax at the spot.

‘Are you worried?’ Ask the sleepy man.

‘Not at all, I think he is going to throw water to---’, and he does throw water at himself, ‘yeah, that.’

Surprised look on you, but Eraserhead brush it off and got near you.

‘Maybe my kid will give him a bad time’.

‘The one who constantly breaks his bones?, don’t think so, Aizawa-san. He may be strong but has a lot to do, Gang Orca is stronger than them, even with all that gear up on his body’.

You were really serious, it was as if you have watched the fight before, but it was just your knowledge about him, your fannatism crawling up your skin, your mouth, your e/c eyes.

The exam comes to and end after all the “civilians” were rescued.

‘Is that so?’ Ms. Joke smirk without you looking.

‘But…’ You said.

‘But?’ She added.

‘Even if the did not have that stuff, he might have been injured at some point in the fight.’

Both of them stayed quite, surprised actually, of the harsh words.

‘She might be right’ A deep voice said, and your eyes met his, red and e/c, not letting go of each other’s gaze. ‘I could have injured myself to the point of being unable to continue fighting.’

Blush again, all the way up to your ears.

He then disappeared, just to reappeared on the same balcony as you, getting handshakes and words from his friends there.

‘Dude’ Said Aizawa, ‘She is a big fan of yours, she is Y/N---

You interrupted him before even finishing.

‘Y/N’, bright smile in your face, ‘just Y/N’.

‘Well, Miss “just ‘Y/N’”’, he bowed a little, ‘I’m Gang Orca, the pleasure is mine’.

You giggled, and feeled like ten again. ‘I know that, I actually came here just to meet you!’

Your tone started slow but turned up the volume, did not realized but ended up almost screaming.

You covered your mouth again, ashamed and blush.

Joke laugh and Aizawa tried not to do the same.

‘I’ve waited for so long, just for this moment’. The smile on your face shy, like the way you felt.

‘Are you not afraid?’ You were mesmerized by his gaze, it was not fear what you feel but something else, something different than you ever felt before. Perhaps this was indeed that.

‘Of course not, I would never be afraid of you, actually…’ quite the opposite. You didn’t say that lasts word out loud, you let them in your heart, for it to sank like his next words.

‘Actually?’

‘Nothing’. He looked.

‘And why are you here, just to say hello? That’s all?’ His eyes changing with every seconds.

You knew something was wrong, he was not like the one you knew. Your eyes searched for the flowers on the table.

‘I just wanted to gave you---’ he interrupted you.

‘How much did they paid you for this?’ His face looked angry.

‘Excuse me?’ Perplex and wondering coming out of your eyes.

‘Isn’t it funny?’ Orca said, this time sounding angrier and for the first time in your life you feared him. ‘Playing with others feelings?’

‘I don’t quite understand’.

‘Ms. Joke, I can’t believe you bring a child just to mock me,’ The smirk on his face irritated as it could get.

‘I’m not a child’ You stated, ‘and they did NOT pay me for this words, the are coming directly from my heart’.

There, you said it.

‘You know I joke’, the green haired girl utter ‘but I will never do something like “use” another human being just for the sake of it, not when the words she is telling you are truth’.

‘You should understand already that there is no one in this damn word who will like me’ the face of his deforming. ‘They don’t call me the number three hero who looks like a villain, and even if it was true, which I don’t believe it, she must be really dumb just to be here wanting to said that’.

It sank, your heart, your words in your mouth, your feelings… You.

The tears were almost out but you bit your lip and swallow that emotions.

‘Yeah, you are right’ your voice sounding dull, hurt, but trying your best not to. ‘I’m sorry Ms. Joke, this did not go as we expected’.

‘Y/N, I’m terribly sorry’ If you looked up into her eyes you will totally cry, so your eyes stuck on the floor. ‘Maybe next time?’

‘Don’t even bother’ Cold words from the one you admire… admired? Perhaps this was the right outcome, someone as quirkless as you would only suffered if this went on, if you got yourself involved with heroes. You hated yourself for being this way, even tho you knew this wasn’t your choice.

‘I will see you around’ the flowers on the table stood there, you could even go near to pick them. You left them there, at the end your gaze met his for the last time that day, and you regretted it. 'I won't bother you anymore, never again’.

You closed the door.

The tears fell down your red cheeks. Flustered, no dignity left, you sob quietly while going back to your car. 

And perhaps this was indeed love, your first one to put it worst. All those years since his debut up until now, perhaps this was how a broken heart felt, you didn’t want the feelings, you wanted to throw them away, but it was also a first time too, that was gonna be impossible.

And perhaps, maybe perhaps this was for the best.

And you didn't look back.

You just drive away.

Sad.

Broken.

Glad to be alone, so you could cry all your heart's content.

[thesculptedflower]

Blue Velvet / Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sun shined softly to her room through the sheer curtains. The bed was so soft she swore she’d never leave it. Only a week ago she was sleeping in a different place almost every night. In shitty hostels, whenever she had little extra money, and under the bridges when she was completely broke. Everything that had happened since the day at the GCPD seemed like a dream. Too good to be true. 

Mr. Cobblepot had clearly a very lavish taste, in pretty much everything. Everything in his house, from the exterior to the decor inside screamed ’’regal, with a hint of criminal mastermind’’. The room he gave her was one of the many guest rooms in the house. A little did she know, it was also the closest to Oswald’s room. 

He had also provided her with a full closet of clothes, including a three piece pajama set of her favourite colour, made with the finest satin. At least that how it felt on her skin. Amazing. 

A soft knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts. 

’’Mss. Y/L, Mr. Cobblepot would like you to join him at breakfast in fifteen minutes.’’ A voice called from behind the door. 

’’I’d love to join him, I’ll be there in a moment.’’ She politely called back, stretching her body to wake up better. In the week that she’d lived with Oswald, she hadn’t seen much of him. Not that it bothered her too much, it gave her time to get adjusted to this new part in her life. Oswald’s men didn’t talk a lot, but his maid Olga was more than happy to have a little female company in the house. 

Y/N got up from the bed, pulled out a pair of fuzzy socks and slipped them on her feet. For such a nice house, it had really cold floors. Stopping on front of a mirror on her way out, she took a long look at herself. This young, beautiful woman that looked back at her, looked so happy. So calm, and excited about her future. She smiled, fixed her hair a little, and stepped out of the room. 

The hallways were filled with paintings and statues, and she was sure they were probably worth thousands and thousands of dollars. She ran her finger carefully against a wooden frame of a huge portrait of a man, standing proudly with his arm on his chest. The man definitely had a resemblance to Oswald. 

’’That’s my dear father. Sadly, he’s not with us anymore.’’ Oswald’s soft voice broke the silence, making her jump and pull her hand quickly away. He had made his way next to her, looking up to the painting.

’’I’m so sorry Mr. Cobblepot, I was ju-.’’ 

’’It’s alright, the paintings take me away too, sometimes.’’ He interrupted, his eyes never leaving his fathers. There was so much pain behind his pale green eyes. She felt it too. Softly, with a small hesitation, she placed her hand on his arm. He flinched a little, but didn’t move away from her. Oswald closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. 

’’We should get to that breakfast, we don’t want the delicious food Olga made us go cold. She would never forgive us.’’ He said now smiling widely. Her soft smile was enough of an answer for him, so placing his hand on top of hers, they made their way to downstairs together.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One would think that spending time this intimate, with an infamous criminal, would be frightening and make anyone run away, but she was feeling none of those things. Everything that Oswald had already done for her, made her feel safe. She treated Oswald kindly and with respect, and it clearly had an effect on him too. He was home more often, he ’’bought’’ her gifts whenever he was out, and she felt like she was in heaven. But there wasn’t anything romantic. Their friendship was something that she’d never experienced before. And neither had he. Somehow these two somewhat lost souls found each other and took refuge in one another. Whenever he was upset about something, she would be there to calm him down and offer her help. Of course she didn’t know much that was going on. Oswald had been very strict about keeping her out of everything illegal. But they both knew that at some point, these two worlds would collide. 

The final notes left the strings of her violin and her hand fell to her side. She took a deep breath in, and lifted her eyes to the audience in front of her. Oswald was smiling from ear to ear, clapping his hands enthusiastically. Few of his men were standing behind him, clapping as well. 

’’Wonderfull! Amazing! Absolutely beautiful.’’ 

She smiled softly, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. Oswald would compliment her whenever she sang, and she hoped, that he’d never get tired of hearing her voice. 

’’You think I’m ready for tonight?’’ She asked, making her way down to sit at Oswald’s table. 

It would be her first time performing in the Oswald’s, and for some reason she was a nervous wreck. Maybe the thought of performing in a club that Gotham’s most wanted used made her feel, well, a little un easy. She had been practicing nearly every night and she still felt that she needed more time.

Oswald took both of her hands in his and looked at her, deep in her E/C eyes.

’’You couldn’t be more ready. You’ll be amazing, and everyone that gets to hear you, will definitely let you know. If they don’t…’’ He said, making his face all serious at the end. She laughed softly and shook her head.

’’I’ll hate you forever if you ruin my night with gun shots. They don’t really resonate with my sound.’’ They both laughed before getting up from their seats. The evening was drawing closer to the moment of her debut, and she needed to get ready.

The deep blue curtains were closed before her eyes. Her velvet dress matched them perfectly. Her hair was curled and done to perfection, so was her make up, soft but elegant. The dress had a cut on the right side, leaving her leg exposed. She felt gorgeous. But it hardly eased her growing nervousness about the performance. She had two sets, five songs each. She’d get through it, with success. She kept repeating words of courage to her in her mind, when one of the men gave her a sign to get ready. It was show time.

’’It’s my greatest pleasure to introduce you all to my newest performer, here at the Oswald’s. Ladies and gentlemen, Y/N Y/L!’’

As the curtains were pulled aside, and the spotlight hit her dress, making it sparkle beautifully, she knew she was ready. She flashed a sweet smile to her audience, bringing her violin up to her chin. She had a small band behind her, but everyone in the audience had their eyes glued to her. 

’’You said I was the most exotic flower. Holding me tight in our final hour. I don’t know how you convince them and get them, boy. I don’t know what you do, it’s unbelievable. And I don’t know how you get over, get over. Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you.’’

Immediately her voice filled the room, captivating everyone even more. Her hands moved ever as skillfully on the instrument, in perfect sync with her voice. Her eyes looked at the faces on the audience, trying not to think about how many of them were criminals. She quickly found Oswald, seated on his usual table. With him was a man, whose gaze surprisingly captivated hers. 

’’One for the money, two for the show. I love you, honey, I’m ready, I’m ready to go. How did you get that way? I don’t know. You’re screwed up and brilliant, you look like a million dollar man. So why is my heart broke?’’

He was tall, she could tell that even when he was sitting down. His emerald green suit was shining softly in the dim light of the club. And his eyes were glued to hers. She knew she could get distracted if she kept staring at this man, whose lips had turned slightly up. She had to close her eyes for a moment to get herself together. 

’’You got the world, but baby, at what price? It’s something so strange, it’s hard to define. It isn’t that hard, boy, to like you or love you. I’d follow you down, down, down, ’cause you’re unbelievable. If you’re going crazy, just grab me and take me. I’d follow you down, down, down, down, anywhere, anywhere.’’

But when she opened her eyes again, they found the way back to his. There was something about this stranger that intrigued her so much, she was risking failing the whole performance. But somehow she felt more composed than she’d ever felt. His gaze gave her the motivation to play the song perfectly. For him.

’’One for the money, two for the show. I love you honey, I’m ready, I’m ready to go. How did you get that way? I don’t know. You’re screwed up and brilliant, you look like a million dollar man. So why is my heart broke?’’

She swayed her hips softly, almost seductively, eyes closed, while playing the instrumental bridge of the song. The band behind her was supporting her sound perfectly. And she felt the eyes of the man in green on her body, and she loved the feeling.

’’One for the money, two for the show. I love you, honey, I’m ready, I’m ready to go. How did you get that way? I don’t know. You’re screwed up and brilliant, you look like a million dollar man. So why is my heart broke?’’

The last note. The short silence after. And then the applause. 

[taejeonie]

markhee on knowing bros

MARKHEE ON KNOWING BROS YAYAYAYAYAY

but literally i want nct to appear on knowing bros p l e a s e

hmm i think by the time of their guesting, the public already knew of their relationship

but tbh hypothetically speaking,,people really wouldn’t know the boys are dating someone until they’re like old or something...i think they’d hide it pretty well :>> BUT FOR THE SAKE OF ME AND ANON WANTING MARKHEE TO APPEAR ON A VARIETY SHOW HERE U GO

the announcement was made about two and a half years into their relationship,,,a staff member ratted them out ://

most of them were supportive ofc!!!

minority of the people weren’t supportive of them mostly bc they don’t want them dating but then again we’re not talking about them ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

most of the comments were like

“MARKHEE YAY <333” “I KNEW THEY WERE DATING!!!” “they look so cute together 🥺” “i can tell they would really last for a long time” “i hope sm wouldn’t break them up >:((“ “ahh young love...this is too cute >.<“

what amazed most of them were how professional they were for the past years,,esp bc they were group mates

this is probably one of the reasons why sm was kinda chill about the situation

but then a lot of people worried about this also

like what if they fought?? or had a misunderstanding??

but i think they’re both in the correct minds to not mix work with your personal life :)) bc that’s a no-no !!

okay back to knowing bros

sm probably did it for publicity but it gave markhee stans content anyways

markhee were asked what show they would want to appear on and they both thought knowing bros would be a nice option :>

so now here they are!!!

they heard knocking from the classroom door and when they turned around they see taehee’s head popping out of the door frame

“hellooo!! (*^▽^*)”

“TAEHEE!!!”

“WOAH”

“jEOn TaEhEE”

“what brings you here?,” janghoon asked

“(〃ω〃) i brought my boyfriend-“

“WOAH REALLY?”

“THIS IS OUR SECOND TIME”

youngchul spoke up, “wait she’s younger than hyuna and edawn, right?”

“yes ,,, :>>” then taehee smiled out of shyness until her dimples were showing

“the last time i saw you, you were this small!!!,” heechul said while putting his arm up to his waist

then taehee made a cute whine and you could hear mark laugh in the background

“noooo,,,i’m older now!!”

“is this your first time appearing on a show together?”

“yeah..we picked this one :>>”

“oh really? thank you (*^ω^*),” heechul says

“alright, bring him in,” and then they were all just holding their smiles until mark comes out

taehee walked in the classroom dragging mark in with his hand

which made the guys gush at them,,especially heechul and hodong

“MARK LEE”

“THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS”

you know when mark’s like embarrassed he tries to cover his face with his hand? yeah he was doing that when walking in

so taehee just laughs at the commotion they caused

they transferred from “if you’re envious, you lose” high school

after they introduced themselves, heechul raised from his seat

“the last time i’ve been on a show with mark, we were drinking together...but now he’s with his girlfriend!! it’s like i’m witnessing his milestones-“

“HAHAHAHAH”

“this is amazing, wow” then he claps

“the last time i was on a show with them was when i was an mc for ‘weekly idol’ and they were with dream,,,” sangmin chimes in

“when did you start dating?”

“mm, about 2 and a half years ago..”

“ahh” then it suddenly goes silent in the studio bc all of their focus is on markhee

so they both laugh bc of the attention

“wHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT US LIKE THAT”

“IT’S BC IT’S REFRESHING TO LOOK AT A YOUNG COUPLE LIKE YOU!! THAT’S WHY”

“actually this is the only time we’re gonna talk about our relationship like this since we promised each other we’d keep things like,,proffessional”

“woah this is like the most mark has spoken at the start of the show,” heechul blurts out causing the set to laugh

“bc he usually doesn’t talk at much first, am i right”

“yes, you are right”

“ah cute~” one of them says

mark lee keeps on captivating other people it’s hIS CHARM!!

“when did you two meet? since predebut?”

“since predebut.”

“wait before we start,,we should ask questions properly unlike lAST TIME!! we got too excited,” soogeun cut in

taehee was the one who answered, “actually, we arrived in the company on the same day and we became friends from there”

“woah it’s like destiny? are you soulmates?,” the question makes the couple laugh

“who liked who first?,” kyunghoon asks

taehee’s eyes widen and she mentions that this is the first time they’re talking about their relationship like this with each other

“oh wow this is gets more interesting!!”

“real reactions”

“so taehee when did you like mark?”

“hmm i think during promotions for ‘kick it’?”

“woah then i liked you first”

you know that face mark makes when he’s like amazed about discovering something new and his eyes are wide and his cheekbones pop out HE’S SO CUTE AT THIS MOMENT BC HE’S MAKING THAT FACE

“oh really???”

“mark when did you like taehee?”

“when we were in the states promoting ‘superhuman’,,,so like,,a year before her”

and then taehee makes this 🥺 face and her hands were above her chest

she’s just so soft in that moment

“wait mark, so that was,,how many years after debut?”

“3 years!”

“then why during that period of time and not when you were trainees”

“hmm honestly i think it’s bc we’ve been focusing on debuting so we weren’t paying attention to each other that much,,in that way. i feel like she stood out to me the most during the time we were promoting in the states, so i paid a lot of attention to her and caught,,,feelings from there”

“the way he spoke,,you can tell he’s really sincere about what he’s saying,” janghoon says so mark becomes more shy aND IT’S JUST CUTE

“was there anything specific taehee did that made your heart skip a beat?”

mark seems to think for a moment until taehee claps her hands together and all the attention goes to her

and she’s really excited like she’s a kid in preschool who just discovered something new and is excited to tell her parents bC THAT’S WHAT TAEHEE’S FEELING RIGHT NOW

“aH!! i think i know what this is!! (＾ν＾)”

“what is it?”

“during ‘superhuman’ era right?,” mark nods, “okay so there’s this part of our dance-“

“oHH I KNOW WHAT THIS IS,” mark shouts and it makes taehee smile wider

“where we stand really close to each other like this,” when she showed them how close they stood to each other the bros were like :OO

“yeah, i think that’s it. you fell for me, right?,” taehee directs the last statement at mark

“oh but that’s really close though,” hodong says

“we did it bc the fans seemed to like it,,,mark just ended up liking it more than he should,” she said it like she was bragging about it which made the people in the studio laugh and mark collapsing to the floor out of embarrassment

“was that it mark? was that the reason?”

mark’s still laughing, “maybe it’s one of the reasons-“

“HAHAHA”

“but we spent a lot of time together when we were in the states so i think that’s the reason too”

“did you notice, taehee? that mark had a crush on you?”

taehee shakes her head, “no,,,”

“why not?”

“mark doesn’t like affection from the members in general so i thought that was why he was acting like he was at that time”

“how did he act at that time?”

then you see mark like internally sweating bc he KNOWS he’s gonna get clowned for it

“ah i’m one of the members who tend to be quite affectionate with others,,and i joke a lot too”

“she tells a lot of pick up lines”

“pick up lines?,” sangmin repeats

“yeah,,,at first i was used to it but then when i started liking her i got flustered a lot”

“i tend to get clingy with the members too like i hold their arm like this or lean on them but when i did it with mark he got shy”

while taehee was demonstrating with mark the bros were like “awww (*´◒`*)”

“does mark get jealous when you act like that towards other members?”

mark tries to hold back his laugh before saying, “a little bit” in a sMALL VOICE THAT’S WHY HE’S CUTE :((

“I ACT LIKE THAT AROUND YOU BUT YOU GET SHY!! WHY WOULD YOU GET JEALOUS?”

“no i’m not jealous of that person it’s like i wish i didn’t get flustered so easily to the point that i would shy away from you...something similar to that”

“ahh mark’s good with his words..do you write lyrics?,” youngchul asks

“we both do :>>”

“so are you each other’s muses? is it like that?”

then the other guys start teasing them causing markhee to smile and giggle ;((

“i guess you could say it like that,,”

“THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!,” then heechul stands up to give mark a high five

“are you two the same age?”

“yes!! but i’m older by four months,” then mark holds up four fingers

“wait then taehee must be really oblivious since mark liked her for a year until they got together”

“well if you put it that way...”

“honestly, i really did not think that she would like me back...that’s why i tried so hard to hide it”

“wow really?”

mark nods, “there was this one time we were in the practice room. we were preparing for a year end stage for gayo daejun,,and taehee was explaining to the camera how she hurt her head at that time”

“aww taehee hurt her head?”

“yeah :<< and he was laughing at me!!,” her pout made the other boys laugh

“that’s bc he likes you taehee”

“oh correct!! i just laughed bc of that reason!,” when mark said that it made them laugh even more bc he was so transparent about his feelings

i mean this is the only time they would talk about it why not as well go all out right?

“but then she said something like, ‘this is how your best friends treat you! you get hurt and then they laugh!’”

“ahh you got friend zoned?”

“yeah i did”

“wait hold on this is making me feel bad- i’m sorry :<<“

then taehee clings onto mark’s arm and looks at him with puppy eyes iT’S SICKENING IT MAKES YOU WANT LOVE TOO

then the guys gush at them some more, “does she often do aegyo with you?”

“i only do it to make him cringe bc it’s funny!! he’s also cute when he’s flustered”

then when she hears soogeun agree with her she becomes soft again and pouts

she goes to punch mark’s cheek

then the bros looked amused like their watching a drama or something

“taehee do you take care of mark like this? like who takes care of who?”

they’re basically asking who tops in the relationship

“i think we’re both,,,like equal in that sense”

“i’m only like this sometimes but mark really really is considerate and so careful”

“what did he do to make you say that?”

taehee clasps her hands together and she opens her mouth to say something but then she looks at the camera and says, “i forgot we were filming this for a moment”

some of them chuckled

“uHhH before he,,dOEs,,things he always asks me like ‘oh is this okay?’ ‘can i do this?’ things like that and it really melts my heart. he’s really considerate”

“ahh mark really is a gentleman”

“i agree,,”

“MARK!! how did you ask taehee out?”

“oh i didn’t ask her out”

“OH SO IT WAS TAEHEE???”

“WOAH”

“HEY GIRLS CAN DO THAT TOO” taehee has an angry pout on which made mark’s heart go boom boom

“wait we didn’t even ask taehee how she liked mark-“

“oKAY TAEHEE!! how did you like mark and how did you ask him out”

“ah i tend to overthink a lot-“

“oh isn’t that bad though?,” heechul says

“but when you get used to it it’s hard to stop,” janghoon tells him, “it just depends how you’re going to react to it”

“okay taehee continue”

“a lot of fans were saying we should date so i thought about it for a loooong time. and then i started paying more attention to mark like how he’s so dedicated and determined,,how he’s cute when he’s shy,,and how he’s like really helpful to those around him— i think that’s what captured me the most (*´ω｀*)”

“aww cute :((,” they say at her

“so how did you ask him out?”

“the only person who knew about my feelings back then was haechan,,so i asked him how should i do it. he said to just confess but i was also kinda ‘shy’ about it so i was like ‘nonono,,i won’t do that’”

kyunghoon asks, “did he know about mark’s feelings,” and mark nods at him

“so what did you do?”

“i,,(//∇//),,i tried flirting with him-“

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”

“AHH CUTE!!”

“i tried flirting with him but it won’t work bc he’s so dense also!,” then taehee hits mark on the shoulder

“really mark? you didn’t even once think that taehee liked you also?”

“like i was saying,,i tried to hide and push away my feelings. and she’s usually like that around other members so i thought she was just being her usual self with me”

“so what pushed taehee to confess?”

“actually, it’s ‘who’”

“was it haechan?”

“CORRECT!! i got into a bet- like a game,,with him the day before i confessed and i lost. his condition was that if i lost, i would confess to mark and he really really really made sure of that”

“how cute :((“

“this is like a kdrama HAHAHA”

“so i told him another pickup line that day-“

“TAEHEE!!,” heechul snorts

his reaction makes another whine come out from taehee and she’s like, “what am i supposed to do? i wasn’t ready!!!”

“does mark still remember the pickup line?”

“hmm it was in english,,it was- aH! ‘do you like haikyuu?’,,haikyuu is an anime,,’bc i laikyuu’”

“THAT’S SO CORNY HAHAHA”

“BUT IT’S GOOD THOUGH!!”

then heechul stands up again to give taehee a high five

“but when i told him that he still denied it!! he told me to go to yuta oppa and tell that to him!!”

“awww”

“so i was like,,’listen, i really really like you and if you don’t get that through your head i wouldn’t know what to do anymore’

“YOU SOUND LIKE YOU’RE THREATENING HIM”

“HAHAHAHAHAHHA”

then taehee got shy and hid her face in mark’s shoulder

“i just noticed the whole time they were standing really close to each other,,you can’t even see the space in between them”

then they gush over them for like the 92849294 time

“do you guys fight a lot?”

“as friends we fought a few times,,but i think now we understand each other more so i think i can say that we don’t really fight with each other anymore”

“ahhh”

“what were the members’ reactions when they found out you were dating?”

“they were really supportive!! they teased us from time to time but they’re really like,,fond of our relationship,,”

“how do you guys date?”

“at that time we tried to limit our like,,outings,,so we just stayed in our room for most of the time watching movies and eating”

“oH yOu gUyS sHArE a ROoM?”

some of them had like knowing looks on their faces and then mark’s like “NO DON’T THINK OF OTHER THINGS”

“HEY WE WEREN’T EVEN SAYING ANYTHING”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”

“NO IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!!,” taehee chimes in, “we just like staying indoors and keep to ourselves”

“wait i also noticed something,” sangmin raises his hand

“what is it?”

“whenever taehee talks mark has a look in his eyes,,it’s very obvious that he loves her”

then taehee gets shy and spares a glance at mark and there IS a look in his eyes

like you know those times where mark’s eyes sparkle?? like there are stars in his eyes like 🥺

taehee just falls for him even more :((

“taehee give me five things you like about mark”

“he’s hardworking, he’s kind, he’s a great singer and he plays the guitar for me!! he’s reliable and i really like how he’s different offstage and onstage,,like he’s cute but when he’s onstage he’s like a different person”

“how bout you mark?”

“uhh taehee is considerate,,she puts others before herself,,she’s dedicated,,she treats her family well,,hmm and she dances really well!!”

ace couple

“taehee can you dance for us? then mark you play the guitar after :>>”

and then you see mark get really excited bc he’s gonna play the guitar meanwhile taehee’s like, “of cOURSE!!”

“her engergy- she’s so cute!!!!”

then they all stand off to the side while taehee dances

when she started they were like “OIIII” “WOAHH” “WAHH AMAZING”

they were really hyping her up!!

and you could easily tell how her passion is dancing

the way she flowed with every movement but still manages to hit all the points

her confidence

facial expressions,,,

i would fall for her too mark <//3

“she really is good,” janghoon mutters

“she is,” aND MARK LOOKS SO PROUD KDKAKFKSKF

markhee is cute no cap

then when she’s finished you can see heechul whisper something to mark then mark gets really flustered but just laughs it off

now it’s mark’s turn to play the guitar!!

he strums a few chords earning a few reactions from the bros + taehee!!

then he starts to play the song

and they sway to the melody

you see taehee’s cheeks get pink bc mark’s looking at her from time to time

which made the others get excited at what they’re witnessing

“ah this is so cute (*^▽^*)”

“i would marry mark,” soogeun blurts out which made taehee giggle

by the end of the song the guys clap for mark,,

and then there’s taehee at the side pressing her hands to her cheeks bc yes they’re warm and it’s bc of mark lee <//3

then they fist bump each other :>>

profile time!!

taehee wrote that ‘shouting in silence’ was one of her strengths just so that they could play the game 

so taehee played with heechul 

so off it was funny it’s hEECHUL + TAEHEE GUYS 

heechul would find every opportunity to tease tf out of taehee offscreen and onscreen 

one of the words that heechul had to guess were ‘mark’

so taehee kept shouting “MY BOYFRIEND!! MY BOYFRIEND!!”

it was so cute honestly :((

mark kept smiling and giggling and the other people were like ‘awwww’

when it was mark’s turn to play they kept teasing him cause he kept on making passes

he’s still cute so it’s aight <33

taehee won with a score of 4-2

the next game they were playing was a couple game!!

so person a had to feed person b but they're both blindfolded and they weren't allowed to touch/guide each other 

first one to finish the bowl of 자장면 wins!!!

so markhee vs hodong and soogeun

taehee would be the one to feed mark

they kept laughing all through out 

meanwhile hodong was like -.- bc soogeun kept on laughing 

anyways,,markhee won!! they're an ace couple what do you expect 

but mark got 자장면 all over his face so taehee was wiping it off with a tissue the staff gave her 

so the bros were like “아이구!! 아이구 아이구!!” 

so moving on to the q&a thingy 

taehee was so excited bc she's been wanting to use the hammer like this ever since she watched the show 

“we’ll not answer so you don't get to use it” - kim heechul

he gets hit anyways 

“okay so,,i get flustered whenever mark does this”

“kisses you suddenly!”

“hugs you in front of the members!”

“wrong!!! (*¯︶¯*)”

kyunghoon calls mark and asks him if he knows the answer but he shakes his head no 

“taehee mentioned awhile ago that mark plays the guitar,,so is it when he plays for you?”

“mmm that’s not the answer i'm looking for :>>”

“when he holds your hand!!,” she shakes her head again

“gIvE uS A cLuEEeEe”

“it’s something that he says,,,”

you see mark whisper to himself,,“something that i say?”

“i love you?”

“okay one last clue,,he says this when he's asking for attention,,,”

“joanie?” mark looks at her 

“who’s joanie?”

“my english name,” taehee says while heechul answers “여보?”

“자기”

then youngchul becomes smart again and mentions that mark and taehee speak to other english often,,”so perhaps...something like ‘baby’?”

he said baby in english so taehee was like “CORRECT!!”

and mark laughs while he claps his hands bc he’s lowkey shy now (っ˘ω˘ς )

“he doesn't call me that all the time but when he does my heart flutters”

and the whole sets uwuing all over again

“like when he’s waking me up for example and i can't get up,,,he’s gonna hug me and say ‘babyyyy, wake uppp’ (she said that in english)”

“AAAAAAAAA”

“아이구 아이구!”

“CUTE!!”

she laughs at their reactions, “IT’S NICE RIGHT??? (♡´ ω `)”

meanwhile mark was a MESS

shy baby uwu

“when was the last time he called you ‘baby’?”

taehee seems to think for a moment before she gets all jittery and flustered making the guys more interested in what she has to say 

“he was teaching me how to play a new song on the guitar,,,but instead of just telling me what the chords were he really like went behind me and put my hands in place (─‿─)”

midway through her story heechul, soogeun, and sangmin were already up and about on their seats 

“AHH MARK LEE!!”

“SUCH A SWEET BOYFRIEND”

“AHH CUTEEEE!!”

every scream intensified the more this episode progressed 

mark got even more shy so he was hiding his head on the table 

so taehee went over to him while laughing and ruffled his hair 

oKAYY MARK’S TURN!!

mark couldn't really think of a question

so since hyuck and johnny were in the waiting rooms with them before the show 

hyuck was the one to write down the question for him 

so as soon as mark read the question out loud he and taehee,,and the rest of the set burst out laughing 

“i get jealous of the other members when- HAECHAN WROTE THIS NOT ME”

“HAHAHA”

“AW CUTE”

“but i don't get jealous that often!!,” he defends himself 

“how bout when taehee cooks for the other members,,”

“she cooks for me too...”

“when she plays games on the computer when you guys are about to sleep,,so you go ‘babyyy’,” heechul’s imitation makes the rest laugh once again 

cue uwu shy mark lee

they give a few more guesses until mark back tracks and says that her playing games with the other members does make him a teensy tinsy bit jealous 

“but there was this one time she stayed beside me while playing games and i fell asleep,,( ◡‿◡ ). honestly,,i don't have any reason to get jealous of the other members since i know teehee’s mine anyways”

“OOOOOO MARK LEE”

“AA CUTE”

this time taehee was the flustered one,,,up to the point her face was getting hot and that she had to take a sip from her bottle 

“they’re so domestic,,” janghoon comments 

yes they are!!

markhee stans after watching the episode: WHEN’S THE WEDDING

anyways,,sadly the episode is coming to an end 

we got so much markhee content bc of this episode 

you've really seen the trust and adoration they have for each other :((

they won't say it out loud,,but the whole set of knowing bros feel like they're one of the idols who will get married and grow old together 

THEN BABY MARHEE IS GONNA BE PART OF DREAM :OO

that’s all for this episode!! you’ll get to see more markhee content (dating or not dating) in my following posts!!

have a nice day!! - markhee <33

[eshrii]

Sing Ring Release

This is from Emitsun’s book, Ho・Ho・E・Mi Happy Music Vol. 2! She talks about her re-debut and the struggles and thoughts she had throughout the whole process. I’m still not very good with Japanese, so I’m sorry for any errors. This is a little long though, so enjoy!

_______________________________________________________________________

This Spring, in a renewed environment, Emitsun releases her Re-Debut Single ‘Sing Ring’ 2 years after her last work.

Suddenly finding herself in an unexpected painful experience, from here on out she tries to move forward one step at a time, filled with an honest desire.

Just for the readers, ‘Ho-Ho-E-Mi Happy Music Vol. 2’ delivers a special full version of the interview seen in ‘LisAni! Volume 40’.

Now, let’s get started!

Nitta San’s eagerly awaited for new work comes from music producer Yohei Kisara san, who is representing his label ‘Stray Cats’. Furthermore, this time it is labelled as a ‘Re-Debut single’.

It’s not really because I took a break from music activities per say, but because the label changed and we’re making music with a new team, it became a ‘re-debut’. Kisara San has been looking after me ever since I became a voice actress, but this is the first time working with Emi Nitta the artist, and there was a lot we didn’t know about each other (laughs).

It’s been approximately 2 years since you last released your album ‘EMUSIC 32-meets you-’ in May 2018 but during that time, what sort of thoughts or emotions did you have about your music work?

I communicated this before to the fan club, but around the summer of 2018 I was actually diagnosed with dysphonia (T/N: a vocal disorder causing difficulty in vocalization). When we were in production for that album, my singing and speaking felt uncomfortable, and during the solo concert at NHK Hall in June 2018, I was singing with a lot of anxiety. In that state I couldn’t express my music the way I wanted to, and once I thought that maybe I should take a break from singing, but that’s also difficult…

What did you mean when you said Dysphonia?

I didn’t have any abnormalities in my vocal cords, but for some reason I couldn’t control my voice. There’s lots of different types of Dysphonia, sometimes stress is the cause, for some it’s  physical condition, or an issue with the autonomic nerves, but there’s no real way of figuring out the specific cause. For me, I don’t know what’s wrong, but I just know that it’s definitely something that makes me unable to sing. That’s why for about a year and a half I honestly just had to stop singing. I was really worried about not being able to meet everyone’s expectations, and even with public appearances I thought ‘I can’t do this’ and slowly became depressed. Nevertheless, when I revealed my condition through the fan club, I received a lot of warm messages from a lot of different people. They told me that everyone’s still waiting for my songs, and until I am able to sing, I can still and try to do other things.

You faced a lot of challenges because of that didn’t you?

I’m the type of person that hates to lose. Because of that, I tried a lot of things: singing with a fit monitor, listening with a guide melody (T/N: a melody that helps you stay in tune during karaoke), but ultimately it didn’t really do much (laughs). But last year I was invited to perform at LisAni! LIVE BEIJING, and it was an environment where nobody knew my songs. I didn’t have the pressure of people’s expectations on my back, and it was a lot of fun. That was the time when I turned towards considering the notion of a re-debut. Even though I was filled with anxiety, when I thought ‘Ah, I can still have fun singing’, I gained a lot of self-confidence. Honestly, from this point in my music activities, I always think ‘today is my worst day’. From here onwards, tomorrow will be better than today, and the day after that and so on; one by one I hope I will find my music and my voice.

Nevertheless, there must have been some painful and frustrating thoughts.

Of course. But I think that feelings of frustration and regret can be a source of encouragement. When it comes to frustration and regret, just let it run its course (laughs). When we announced the re-debut, the fans were really happy and grateful, and that gave me a lot of strength. For me, a singer is someone who can give someone strength and a push on their back through song, and I thought, ‘can I be that kind of singer too?’ That’s the kind of courage I received.

This time, the new song ‘Sing Ring’ is filled with exactly those feelings right?

Thank you. This time it’s a re-debut, so for that first song we had a talk about who would be able to write it for us. 2020 is the 10th anniversary of my voice actress debut, so I thought I could ask someone with whom I have a deep connection from back then. From my very first voice acting job, “T.P. Sakura~Time Paladin”, we asked Yozuca* san, who sang the ending theme, if she could compose and write the lyrics. Yozuca* san is my senpai who has been a singer for a very long time, and I have also already had the pleasure of singing one of her songs before (T/N: Yozuca* has also written songs for μ's).

Before Nitta san’s debut, Yozuca* san also sang “Time Capsule”, the insert song for the game “D.C. III P.P.~ Da Capo III Platinum Partner~”.

Ah yes. Yozuca* san also came to see my concert at NHK hall and it was a big thing for me. At that performance, Yozuca* san took my hand and told me “It’s okay, everyone here is your ally”. At that time I felt like I had accidentally let my anxiety show, but the me during the performance back in 2016 at the Pacifico Yokohama Convention Center, when I was pumped and full of energy, and the me afterwards that full of anxiety and nervousness- Yozuca* san saw both sides of me, and because of that she understood my feelings, and would be able to write a song with those feelings: “‘from here on out, I’ll crawl and slowly get stronger and stronger into the me I want everyone to see”.

When it was decided that Yozuca* san would work on the song, did you go and talk to her directly? 

Yes. I talked about my thoughts on the re-debut, my regrets on being unable to sing how I wanted, my current feelings. We talked about a lot of things, and she was able to translate them into wonderful words that could hopefully be conveyed to the fans. That’s why even though I didn’t write the lyrics myself, I still felt that it was my song, and the first time I received the song, I couldn’t stop crying. Even if it’s not me, it’s a song that resonates with people who have worked hard at something and have experienced setbacks and failures.

The name ‘Sing Ring’, it’s a very Nitta san thing isn’t it. Even before making this album you had a song that you wrote yourself called ‘In the Ring’.

For me, the word 輪[wa] or Ring, is a special word, even my fan club name is ‘EmiRing◎’, but I didn’t tell that to Yozuca* san. However, when I received the song, that was the name and I felt that it was fate. Until now there have been a lot of things that didn’t go well,  but even then there’s something there that feels connected. Speaking of which, this re-debut seems to be the same; my anxiety has turned into this wonderful song, and I think nothing was done in vain.

In the beginning , you start the song with acapella no? When I first listened to it, I could feel Nitta san’s resolve. You’ve been slowly and earnestly coming to terms with your current singing voice, would you call this your will to move forward?

That acapella part was actually an idea that Yozuca* san had during recording. I couldn’t really sing that well, but she was watching over me while I was singing desperately, and suggested “at the beginning why don’t you try singing it acapella almost like you’re humming it”. If you were to ask me if this song is 100% an Emi Nitta song, technically speaking it isn’t, I felt like I could’ve sang 200%, 300%....I’m still not fully satisfied with it (laughs).

At any rate, you’ve done everything in your power right now.

Yes. I think that there are a lot of things that I wouldn’t have realized if I hadn’t broke, and things that I couldn’t see until I fell. That’s why if it was past me singing like I had before, this song would most definitely just be an ordinary song, I wouldn’t have been the right person for this song. I feel like having experienced frustrations and troubles are needed to sing this song (laughs).

The lyrics in the beginning, ‘this voice resounds, and I walk from here’, and the hook ‘you don’t have to be your ideal self’ etc., the substance of the lyrics are quite frank aren’t they?

But by no means does it mean weakness, right? Even if I stumble, what’s inside of me hasn’t changed- it’s the feeling of wanting to cheer on people who are trying their best. Even if I showed my weakness, I definitely do not feel despair. It’s just like yelling ‘I’m frustrated!’ (laughs). Something that I’m really grateful for is that Yozuca* san said ‘I can write a song that has softer sounds, but I can understand the feelings of an Emitsun who wants to look cool in front of everyone’, and that one little feeling made it into the song without any difference. That’s why this song is a ‘I’m pitiful but I want to be cool’ type of song...I’m embarrassing (laughs).

There’s also a section where Yozuca* san seems to be telling Nitta san through the lyrics about the importance of moving forward at your own pace.

This was a song made for the current me, but I will definitely change from here on out. I think that there’s some things that will never change though, which is why when I received this song, I was able to think ‘I want to sing this song for decades to come!’. From there I was able to affirm that feeling that I was moving forward, this song is the first step to a brand new start, and it was an extremely big first step. That’s why during recording, of course there would be some not-so-great takes, but I was happy with every retake, and I was blessed to be able to sing the song so many times.

It’s important to continue to do the best you can without giving up.

It’s not about “if you don’t give up your dreams will come true”, but “don’t give up until your dreams come true”. In my life, I’ve been blessed with the people and the environment around me. That’s why I think ‘if you can’t hang on to your dream, then what else can you do?’ I want to be that kind of person that connects people to their dreams too. Actually, I don’t really like the phrase ‘do your best’ (ganbaru) . I feel like for some people those words might feel pushy. That’s why I’ll do my best, and hopefully if someone else sees it, they’ll be encouraged and want to work hard for themselves too. I’d be happy if that happens.

In that sense, it’s a very human song isn’t it?

I think it has a lot to do with my age as well. In terms of my appearance, my skin will get wrinkly but as I get older my experience will also grow, and I’ll be able to put myself into different things and doing it with my own body which I think is a really nice thought. Therefore I would like to do as much as I can to the best of my ability...this is a bit heavy isn’t it (laughs).

No, no it’s okay that the song’s story is a little heavy (laughs)

It’s definitely not a song that screams “listen to me!”(laughs).

Now, let’s talk about the coupling songs. Aside from the main song, there are two more new songs alongside it.

Since it’s a re-debut, I thought it’d be a great opportunity to bring music to everyone so I wanted to make a lot of new songs. My own self-indulgence was granted and this time the single has three songs. The three songs are all really different so it kind of feels like a mini album!

Firstly, your tv program that is being broadcasted on the tabi channel, ‘Emi Nitta’s Girl Trips’, the opening theme is ‘Everyday a Lucky Day!’. What kind of image was made for this song?

“I want to do ‘the Emi Nitta everyone thinks of’ character song” is the request I made. I wanted to make a song that was catchy and would make the heart cheerful. From all the songs we gathered, I chose the one that was the happiest and most exciting. I especially like the lyrics ‘The lucky song only for me’. I wonder if the extraordinary lucky song is tired of pushing me forward. Actually, I can already imagine what the atmosphere would be like when I sing this song live. Of course it’s one thing to simply listen to the song, but I think it’s much more fun and happy to experience it live. It’s the little things that can make someone happy, and I think that it’s nice for people to be able to enjoy everyday. That’s why for me, I want to be a woman that matches this song, even as I grow older.

The other song, Oratio, done in collaboration with the anime ‘Arad: Ring of Reversal’ as the opening theme, has a very heroic, rock tune.

The name of the song, ‘Oratio’, means ‘prayer’. It’s a collaborative work, so we wanted to get close to the world view of the anime. It has a good meaning, and it became ‘the anime song’. There aren't many opportunities to write '腕'(ude) and read it as 'kaina'(T/N: Don’t really know what she’s referring to here). As a person who immerses themselves in the world, it's a song that you can't help but get pumped up (laughs).

It’s a work that’s very suitable for a re-debut, and you can get to meet various expressions of Nitta san. Lastly, it might be a little too early but are there any new plans or things you want to try after the re-debut?

First we have the release, after that I think there’s a lot of things that we can do but, for the longest time, I have had this dream to sing for ten years and beyond. That's why, I’ll start by making my own path, facing what’s in front of me step by step. Of course, one of the things I want to do is a solo concert. I think it's a special thing to be able to share the same time with everyone, and even now I still go to the lives of my favourite artists, and I received unforgettable songs and moments. Perhaps, some people might not be able to listen to my songs, there are some people who go through the trouble of coming to fan club events from overseas, so not just Japan, but someday I'd like to be able to deliver it overseas too.

Your dreams have expanded haven’t they?

There’s definitely a lot of things I want to do. It’s a bit of a selfish desire, but I really love Winter and Christmas songs, so one of my dreams is to create a Christmas album someday. I’m really excited for the things I love to take shape, and I’m sure the fans will be very pleased as well. Obviously there are some people who express their despair through song, but I can sing because I seek a future beyond that. Therefore my feelings are ‘Hallelujah!’ (laughs).

Translated by eshrii/ashtrees_(twitter)

[moonlightwinterdxxix]

MOONLIGHTWINTERDXXIX! Ready for another request attack!? 🤣 I'm here for Sutabaa Zaimoku identity shenanigans the SEQUEL! 😎✨ Somehow Kara's weird nice guy habits had actually worked?! He got on the good side of a visiting Sutabaa's overseas higher up by sheer luck and when they arrive to Sutabaa for whataver they mistaken Totty as Kara. Will Totty abuse this chance for nepotism to rise from his janitor position? Or will customer Kara unexpectedly arrive in all his glory and threaten this ruse?!

@yisongye For #make Karamatsu smile—the Bullied boys now have time to shine outside TVV xD

For those who are new, this is the continuation of this fic here.

~~~

Leaving its slanted position from the angle it was creating from the floor, Todomatsu raised the mop vertically and glared. “Stop laughing.”

“Pfft...! Okay, first you told me to stop talking,” Atsushi confirmed through snorts, shoulders rocking, “now you want me to stop laughing. What do you want me to actually do, Todomatsu? Make up your mind.”

“Leave. Go home. I don’t want you in here anymore. You’re making it a billion times worse.”

“Alright, come on. This is the thing, Todomatsu,” Atsushi said, resting his elbows on the table and raising a smug eyebrow that made Todomatsu want to punch his face so badly. “It wouldn’t have been so bad if you were being casual. Just a casual joe that’s cleaning tables, mopping the floors, doing his job, basically. But wearing your brother’s tacky sunglasses while working is what made you a sight more painful than him himself.”

“It’s his fault this all happened!” Todomatsu exclaimed, spreading a hand. “You have absolutely no idea what he said to the manager, and if you did...! If you were in my shoes, you’ll live with embarrassment for the rest of your life! He told me everything! I didn’t even want to wake up the next day after what he told me!”

“You’re overreacting,” Atsushi said, taking a sip from his latte. “I’m sure it wasn’t so bad. If he was pretending to be you, he couldn’t have possibly broken character enough that he’d make you look like a painful—”

“Then the sun, that glorious sun! Oh, it was the rose’s guardian angel, sending it a spirit for life and the will to fight forward! Oh, and it would now attract all the butterflies that followed a path so similar to it’s!” Todomatsu mimicked, posing with Karamatsu’s flair and voicing the lines with the lowest his voice can drop. Dramatically.

Atsushi burst out laughing.

“H-Hey! Shut up!”

“You’re right! It’s embarrassing!” Atsushi guffawed.

“Oh, wait until then!” Todomatsu snapped, resuming his work as he cleanly ridded the spot where a baby had spilt its mother’s drink. “The time will come when the same humiliation will happen to you. Don’t think that just because you have money and riches your life will be all fine and dandy. I promise that you will find failure soon. Just you wait.”

“Ooh, scary,” Atsushi drawled. “Doesn’t help that you’re wearing his glasses though. Why are you even doing that? To hide your identity? Everyone in the Ward knows of that face belonging to a sextuplet NEET, Todomatsu. That does nothing to your case.”

“Better safe than sorry. It’s better than having my own identity out in the world. Have Karamatsu instead—he’s the one most associated with failure.” He blew a raspberry, rolling his eyes. “You’ll eat your words soon, dumbbell,” Todomatsu vowed, grabbing a water bottle from his belt and spraying the floor. “I swear to Cod, you’ll eat your words and—”

“Todomatsu Matsuno?”

Someone suddenly was in front of the employees’ door of the establishment against the wall, and both Todomatsu and Atsushi were stunned to find a beautiful girl standing there, her eyes shining like those of the universe, all planets aligned and the sun at its brightest.

She had long, wavy brown hair that touched all the way to her waist, a bangs that brushed her eyebrows before parting at the sides, overlapping her ears. She had a large bust, which grabbed their eyes, but she also had long legs that they could see through her khaki pants. A notepad peeped out of the apron of her Sutabaa work uniform.

“Todomatsu Matsuno?” the girl echoed, smiling faintly, almost relieved. “Was that you? Oh, I never thought I’d actually see you! I heard snippets of your interview the other day, and I didn’t think I would be able to see you again. Anyway, I think I need to introduce myself formally to you. My name’s Sen. And I’m gonna be a co-worker of yours for the entire month.”

Todomatsu did nothing else but look at her, cheeks reddening as the sunglasses went askew on his nose.

“I’m the Sutabaa manager from Paris, see? But still a Japanese native,” the girl—Sen, went on. “I recently decided to take a trip back to Japan so I can see how the employees do their tasks here. And I was just in time too. A made a recent notice of the lack of appeal in customer service and entertainment, but I can associate the opposite of that with the fanfaronade you put on. At least, what I just heard right now and the other day. I assume that really was your interview, wasn’t it?”

“Y...Yeah,” Todomatsu breathed.

“Great! Because I think I might be considering lifting your position off being a janitor if that was the case,” Sen told them, taking out her notepad and pen. Her fingernails were decorated with fancied stickers of the Eiffel Tower. “With your flow of words, we might be able to attract more customers to the establishment. Imagine being talked about as that cashier man with a Shakespearean dictionary in his vocabulary. Wouldn’t that spark interest?”

No. Yes? Perhaps? Todomatsu didn’t think a Karamatsu persona would’ve sparked any interest from anyone or anything? Not even an ant’s or a cockroach’s.

And yet...If this meant not being a janitor anymore...

“Of course, only if you don’t mind,” Sen said, jutting down on her notebook. “If you aren’t willing to act so in front of customers, we won’t force you too. But your gentlemanly manner when you speak might make some progress in this building when it comes to getting people to come. It’s a suggestion I’ve already spoken to your main manager about. Now I want to ask you! Are you willing to do it, Todomatsu-san?”

“E-Eh?!” Atsushi squeaked, and Todomatsu continued to stare at her.

Then he blinked beneath the sunglasses. Then his lungs refilled with air, and his imagination lit up with his proud-to-behold Todomatsu Matsuno wisdom. He smirked, transferred the mop to his other hand, using his free one to touch his hairline with two fingers. “Of course, my dear! And I’d be happy to perform more Shakespearean might you give me the opportunity to! After all, I am Todomatsu Matsuno, master of the fine art, a man of theatre through-and-through!”

“Oh!” Sen expressed (cutely to the mens’ eyes), eyebrows rising.

“EEEHHH?!! O-Oi! Todomatsu! What the hell are you doing?!” Atsushi demanded, rising slightly from his chair.

Dropping the mop, Todomatsu slid over to Sen, a finger-gun following the shape of his jaw as he grinned narcissistically. “My, what ever is the problem, Atsushi? Can you not see that I’m being as normal as I can be? I am flattered by this woman’s suggestion, and all I want is to make her feel welcome in these crowded, sorrowful Tokyo streets. You are quite a foreigner yourself, in a way, are you not, sweetheart?” He knelt down, grabbed her hand. “I apologize for the inconvenience, dear. You make my heart melt.” He kissed her hand—it was so soft. Like, so, so soft that it was impossible for something to be that soft.

She chuckled.

Atsushi sputtered.

And Todomatsu wanted to as well. Because he wanted to scream so badly and yank his soul out of his body for the stupid idea he had concocted. Because...Because...BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS! He was posing with that stupid grin of his stupid brother while wearing those stupid glasses and was talking in that stupid accent all because Karamatsu had ruined Todomatsu’s chances for work with a stupid mistake because of his stupid brain and—!

Okay, keep it together, Todomatsu. Look on the bright side. He was a janitor, he was cursed with this hex of Satan since the day Karamatsu left the womb. And this was unacceptable, more than being a baby brother that everyone looked down on! This woman...She could change that. Hell, she could turn him from a lowlife into the manager himself! If Todomatsu followed her guidelines, matched her standards, made himself the appealing man she wanted to view...Yes, this was going to be his debut as the boss of his own life!

And so what if Karamatsu was the key to that?! Karamatsu was the key to success, and no one cared for Karamatsu’s own failure! These NEETs were selfish bastards after all!

Heck, Todomatsu was that desperate! Yes! Yes! But he didn’t care, for everyday he was already dying with the thirst for change! Change in his life, change in his pathetic, why-am-I-alive existence! He had no friends—only acquaintances who would never stay longer than twenty minutes! His life was littered with five matching levels of garbage, sharing his bed and face that made him look as terrible as them! But he wasn’t! And he wasn’t going to be defined like that any freaking more!

Yes! Hell yes! This was the true form of this Todomatsu-sama, the one who will be the first of his NEETy brothers to find love alongside work! So what if he was a cursed janitor?! He was an official graduate from the status that had once colored him at the bottom of the caste system, and this woman was going to be his diploma! Hell yes, he won!

And there was even a plus. This girl was into this, and if he continued this painful persona he might have a chance to actually keep her. No more virginity for this youngest dirty monster, because he was going to be able to smash her and make her his by acting his part as the best boyfriend she could ask for! So what if she was a princess?! A lady of romance and theatrics and the arts?! She was still an unattainable woman who any of these stupid NEETs would pine for for ages! Lifetimes! A keeper to the max despite maybe bad taste in vocabulary, but that was besides the point!

Todomatsu could keep her. Hell, he can keep her. If he was this perfect cashier, he can keep her. Beat the hell out of his brothers, and become the true role model that Choromatsu and Osomatsu were far from being! All because he was a loser, therefore there was no one else he could grab! Because Iyayo and Chibimi were plastic dolls and Kinko was a woman of true culture...Because Totoko hated them like scum and Homura was in love with someone else...!

Hell yeah, there was so much he could gain, this baby demon of the Matsuno hellhole...All he needed to do now was act the part. Act the part.

What would Karamatsu say, and how can it be said for this woman’s attraction? Hm, he needed to summon his inner Karamatsu, if there even was one. Because just like the rest of his brothers, having an inner Karamatsu was like saying that they had a tree growing over their heads. It was impossible. Because having an inner Karamatsu was one of the things they as NEETs did not want to have.

But this woman. She wanted a Karamatsu.

Todomatsu smirked. Fine. For her, he’ll play the part.

“Have you always been a theatrical one, Todomatsu-san?” Sen asked, tucking a few collective strands of hair behind her ear after hiding her notebook and pen again. “Or is this a new thing after graduating?”

Hmm, how was he going to answer this? Should he be honest and tell her that the only thing he’s ever done involving theatre was dunk bird turd on someone’s script, or should he go with the Karamatsu flow and tell her that acting has always been a hobby since the day he could walk? What would this woman want to hear? Todomatsu pondered, forced his brain cells to click and tick and turn their gears...Hmm...

Then—

Todomatsu posed, raising an arm and bending another. “I had no plan!” he announced.

Sen’s mouth formed a tiny circle. Atsushi face-palmed.

“Heh, I’ve always went with the flow of my own wind, dear beautiful Sen,” Todomatsu enumerated smoothly, dropping the octaves of his voice, which wasn’t so hard. He was already gifted to have a deep voice whenever he yelled (something Choromatsu once mentioned to him, that rising, fapping loser), and so mimicking Karamatsu’s original tone wasn’t that difficult as an activity. That, and this woman had never met Karamatsu in person, so he had the safety of a thousand nets and trampolines to catch his sky-high fall.

“Theatrical arts, drama, cherry blossoms in the wind, a heart of blue.” Oh god, Todomatsu wanted to slap himself so hard, wanted to slice his tongue with a cleaver and haul it into the mouth of hell. Speaking Karamatsu was speaking the language of agony. If this was what being the childhood best friend of Karamatsu resulted in, then maybe it was better if none of that ever happened at all. “It was my mind, cured with the peacefulness of my being, that opened my existence in a fantasy worth exploring. The unknown. Skies and trees that breathe the air of purity that is being wiped from this earth. It tears my soul and rips my being into shreds.”

Atsushi snorted, turning away. That goon, Todomatsu was gonna deal with him later.

“Ooh, how poetic,” Sen commented, her hair bouncing as she tilted her head. “How did you gather your vocabulary?”

How did Karamatsu gather his vocabulary? How did Karamatsu gather his vocabulary? HOW DID KARAMATSU GATHER HIS VOCABULARY? When they were freaking kids, Karamatsu wasn’t even able to determine the differences between ‘limbs’ and ‘limbo’! How the hell did he come from that turd of an idiot into a man with a dictionary built into his throat?!

“Heh, by being myself,” Todomatsu answered painfully, trying not to reach over to wipe the sweat pooling behind his ears and running down his nape. “I’m a natural at my strengths, the best of my kind. Because I’m a loner, but at the same time I have my own hands to support me might I fall. Heh, I’m a tower of storms.”

“You definitely are. Very destructive too,” Atsushi chortled, eyes directed elsewhere but the killer’s promise of a glare on Todomatsu’s face.

“Wait a minute,” Sen said, a finger touching those beautiful lips of hers. “Todomatsu-san, have I seen you before? I thought you looked familiar and remembered that I saw someone looking like you yesterday. Were you at the park yesterday taking a swim in the river dressed in a yellow baseball uniform?”

Todomatsu flinched so hard that his soul felt like it had just poked the waves of an ocean made of lava. “No, that wasn’t me! It was a stranger, surely! I hate baseball, always have!”

“Only since today,” Atsushi muttered. Todomatsu was internally sending him two of his middle fingers which tips had holes for bullets.

“But the other day, I thought I saw you too?” Sen asked. “Wearing red this time. Playing at Pachinko? And you had a very large bruise on your face while you left the parlor crying. I assume you lost the gamble after getting into a fight?”

Shit! Damn you, Osomatsu! “Nope! Pachinko is not my turf in the slightest!” Todomatsu lied, puffing out his chest because he felt like deflating into an airless blob of rubber.

“Yet you won yesterday,” Atsushi stated quietly behind his hand.

“And also, in the mixer? I saw someone in pink looking like you leave it recently,” Sen followed up, crossing her arms. “Well, not to defy you or anything, but are you the mixer type really, Todomatsu-san? With your flair and all, your humble personality, I don’t think you need a mixer to determine your acquaintances and your friends.”

“Heh, fret not, my queen,” Todomatsu schmoozed, wanting to stab himself for each ‘heh’ he had to gag out. “This man here is still as packed with friends as a man can be.” Which was half true and half lie. Todomatsu was one with peers, but Karamatsu was a member of the trash gang. Meaning, friends were flies, and peers were the dirty streets that only cats were willing to walk because they too were stupid enough not to understand anything in life.

Sorry not sorry, Ichimatsu.

“Oh, alright then,” Sen said, then bowed. “I guess I was just thinking about your successful interview too much then.”

“Oh, it is quite fine,” Todomatsu fibbed, planting very sweaty hands against his hips. “I am alone in my features—there’s no one else like me at all. If there was, it’s probably a doppelgänger signaling death that looms over me. Therefore I am the one and only, Sen-chan. Todomatsu Matsuno.”

Atsushi turned away, shoulders shaking.

Sen chuckled. “If you say so, mister Matsuno. So, are you up for it, Todomatsu-san? Would you accept my invitation to be a cashier instead of a janitor?”

“Yes, my sweet! I am glad to oblige!” Todomatsu hollered, spreading out his arms. “I shall prepare myself for all the hi’s and hello’s I can offer to any passersby for this fine establishment! Give the word and I shall motion with the swift energy of lightning!” Smirking painfully, he posed, spreading his legs out, resting one of his elbows over his other hand, and he flicked his bangs before sending Sen a finger gun. “Like lightning. Bang.” He inched his fingertip.

Atsushi exploded into full-on laughter.

“Alright then,” Sen said, nervously cutting Atsushi a look as she slowly retreated into the staff room. “I’ll let them know, so wait here. Let me make the arrangements for you, alright?”

“Heh. You are the true Samaritan, dearest Sen,” Todomatsu gritted out with the flawless character of his brother.

Then waving, Sen closed the door behind her.

Todomatsu snapped.

“What the hell is wrong with you, you turd-hole?!” he yelled, gripping Atsushi’s dark collar and shaking him with the mercy of a madman. “Stop making me look as transparent as I already am! It’s bad enough that I need to be that stupid-as-hell brother in order to win back my pride, moron! And don’t question how I can impersonate the goon, and I too want to straight-up murder my past self for ever thinking that being friends with that painful Shittymatsu was a good idea! So shut the hell up!”

“Yo, Totty!” Atsushi called out, still smiling through the force shoving him back and forth. “Why didn’t you just tell her no? You don’t have to put up a Karamatsu everyday if you don’t want to! Be a janitor in freedom! It’s still worth it!”

“And let myself still look like an effing NEET in the process?! Not a chance!” Todomatsu fumed, releasing Atsushi and pouting, folding his arms. “You won’t understand. You have everything already. Why not just be a comrade and let me have this? I know it sucks and it hurts and it’s painful as fu—!” Pausing, he doubled over, and he vomited a waterfall of glitters onto the floor. The Karamatsu was really getting into him.

“I’m not telling you anything,” Atsushi said, shrugging casually as Todomatsu straightened up again, wiping his lips. “If you want to or not, it’s your choice. You’re the only one balancing on your own lifeline. Each choice you make affects you, and there’s no one else that can do anything about it.”

“Meh, I guess that’s true.” Finally, Todomatsu had the urge to pull Karamatsu’s sunglasses off his face to look at. Just the blue of them reflecting the light from the restaurant made him want to snap them and toss them out into the Bermuda Triangle. “Still though. If it makes me get more than what I already have, Imma be up for the challenge. Time to be Karamatsu-niisan.” He returned the shades. “I dunno how long I can pull this off—if I do at all.”

Atsushi snorted. “Wish you luck. How long you can keep this up will color me curious as well.”

~~~

One week. It was one entire week of painful dialogue and flamboyant posing. It was one week with Todomatsu being responsible for those awful sunglasses that Karamatsu had been looking for whenever they came back home after days under Akatsuka Ward’s sun. It was one week of heh’s and hm’s, and each time Todomatsu wanted to throw a fit and dump on a table the same way Ichimatsu would. He was angry, he was embarrassed, he just wanted to end his suffering with a knife to the chest or whatever lame shtick.

“You’re doing great, Todomatsu-san,” Sen would tell him, and it was kind of true. Customers did seem very satisfied with Karamatsu’s dialogue floating to their ears, and it made Todomatsu question humanity in its intelligence. It was either he was dumb or the world was dumb, and he voted for the latter due to his excessive pride. That, and he needed reassurance of something, because working as a cashier mimicking his older brother didn’t deduce the NEETiness he felt like was still sewn into his system.

He didn’t answer any questions from anyone else though. If it were Aida and Sachiko that were close by in their shifts, Todomatsu would be able to cut away the sheets of Karamatsu’s ghost long enough for him to be normal, the same Todomatsu ‘Totty’ Matsuno that the two baristas knew. As for his brothers, he was always mopey when taking orders from them if they ever came, and they always left Sutabaa with knowledge only on the purchased drink rather than the persona that broke loose with other customers. Todomatsu was glad of the stupidity of Jyushimatsu and the lack of comment from Ichimatsu.

And then...The day came.

“One strawberry latte for Nishimiya,” Sen announced, scribbling the name on a large cup with a black marker.

“Heh. Blueberry cheesecake for Shimizu,” Todomatsu added, wanting to let a large portion of glittery vomit escape his throat again. “Kindly help yourselves to table four, my dear. You wait there for the meantime—your hunger will be satisfied momentarily.” He lowered his sunglasses, winking. And when the customer smiled at him in appreciation, it was obvious she didn’t notice how much pressure Todomatsu had to put into his muscles just to make himself appear his way.

“Right, Totty, right?” Sen left the table, handing the cup to him. “I’ll be on my break now. Can I leave it to you?”

“Heh. If that may assist thy fatigue, I’d be willing to move mountains for you.” Shoot, shoot, SHOOT! Just kill him already, Akatsuka-sensei so he didn’t have to do this bullhooey anymore! But this ‘bullhooey’ seemed to deem him fine for now as Sen bobbed her head, entering himself into the opposite room as she closed her door.

The bell above the Sutabaa entrance chimed.

A sigh.

Time stopped for Todomatsu, and for a moment there was nothing he could do but transform into a frozen block of ice. But his recovery was swift, and before notice Todomatsu took off his sunglasses as a pair of leather-sleeved elbows propped themselves on the counter.

“Good morning, Todomatsu,” Karamatsu said, smiling sadly at his brother. Sadly? Why sadly? Shoot, that meant he was going to blow up into painful monologuing territory that will be sure to either end his life, or Todomatsu’s. Bullsh—“I’d just want a coffee, please. Extra sugar, maybe?” Karamatsu went on, devoid of joy.

Todomatsu gulped. “Ah, right. Wh...Why are you here, Karamatsu-niisan?” His gaze darted through the area, hoping for no familiar faces to question him and his conversation with his lookalike brother. Thank goodness the timing had Sen leaving for a while before anything else bad could happen, because Todomatsu swore to Cod, bad stuff was indeed going to happen.

“Need a little time to think, perhaps?” Karamatsu said, lowering his own blue sunglasses. It was a fun thought, Todomatsu imagined, to continuously rid Karamatsu of any of his glasses by breaking them in half or tossing them into a gorge, but a spare would always find themselves on his face the following day. Wonder how many he had tucked in their closet? His entire allowance, most likely. No wonder he has only his 10% chances of winning in pachinko.

Karamatsu continued, “Because there was this very beautiful woman, and for a while I might’ve called her mine, but...” He gripped his elbows with opposite hands, fingers sinking into his sleeves, “she rejected my confession,” he squeezed out.

Todomatsu remained unfazed. Alright. So? Todomatsu didn’t give a dang about Karamatsu’s tragic love story. “So you thought that coming here to mope would be a good idea? Why not just follow Osomatsu-niisan in Pachinko or go fishing with Choromatsu-niisan?”

“Heh. They had their own activities planned for this lonely afternoon,” Karamatsu told him, and Todomatsu felt the horror of old English penetrating through him. “And is it wrong that I wanted to spend time with my dear littlest brother? I missed days where we trekked the world solo. I guessed that maybe time with him again would lift my soul from the pits in where it has fallen into. Crammed with skeletons...O-Oh, Totty! My heart is weeping, my brother!” He extended his arms and tightened them around Todomatsu, pulling the younger man towards him before sobbing on his shoulder.

Todomatsu went rigid, praying to everyone in the skies listening not to have anyone barge in during this absolutely humiliating moment of Todomatsu’s probable fall from grace.

“And she was a delicate flower too!” Karamatsu wept, clinging to Todomatsu with all his might. Cod, the counter edge was digging into Todomatsu’s stomach...! “Beautiful and compassionate and oh! Such an ideal diamond, brother! And yet I was not anything to her!” He wailed, breathing jagged as he mashed his face onto Todomatsu’s collar, letting it absorb his misery.

“Ugh! Keep it down, Shittymatsu!” Todomatsu hissed, prepping his hands over Karamatsu’s chest in preparation to push him away. “I’m at work, for crying out loud! And what kind of idiot customer walks up to the cashier to cry? Are you that stupid?”

Thankfully preserving the need for Todomatsu to do the deed himself, Karamatsu released his younger brother, leveling Todomatsu’s gaze with confusion setting as the emotion in his tear-filled eyes. “Umm...Cashier? I thought you were a janitor?”

Oh, Cod-damn it. Todomatsu cringed. Karamatsu didn’t know yet, couldn’t know, will never ever know...! If he knew who knew what kind of shtick Todomatsu will have to put up with and what kind of life he will forever be living with regret and—!

The staff room door opened. “Totty! I think I forgot my wallet here and—” Sen paused, staring at the brothers before flinching. “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t think there was a customer! Please, carry on, sir! You...!” Her eyebrows furrowed as she trailed off, gears clicking in her head. “...look exactly like Totty. Are you brothers? And he’s got a leather jacket and...Huh?”

Karamatsu blinked, thick brows curved questioningly. “Yes, I’m his brother. And are you...? Totty, are you alright, my dear brother?”

Holy crap! Cod, crap-crap-crap! Todomatsu felt his blood run dry. “Ah, yeah! Karamatsu! Sen-chan! I, um, heh!” He suddenly grabbed Karamatsu’s wrist and dragged him off, not waiting for anything else as he led Karamatsu out the Sutabaa door and outside the building to its side. Behind a wall, where no one sale might see them. Might. Because no one important was going to need glancing at a pair of brothers that looked closest to being members of slavery in the caste system.

Which they were, mind you. But not Todomatsu, if Karamatsu decided not to screw things up.

“Huh? Todomatsu, what’s going on?” Karamatsu asked as Todomatsu parted his grip on Karamatsu, massaging his temper and tingling veins for tranquility that didn’t want to come.

“Look. I can explain some other time, but for now, just effing follow my lead, got it, niisan?” Todomatsu ordered lowly, cautious for stares. Sen, the manager, Aida, Sachiko, or any of their foolish brothers. “I am the cool one, you’re the same loser as you always were. Picture yourself when you were eighteen, or just think about your heartbreak. You’re a goner from life. And you have no idea how to speak with your normal, flashy speech patterns.”

Karamatsu was nothing but confused. “Eh?”

Scoffing irritably, Todomatsu snatched the glasses from Karamatsu’s face and put them on himself, then proceeded to take off Karamatsu’s leather jacket from his brother’s body. That stupid shirt had the painful man’s face on it...! Alright, he can find a way around that. All he needed to do was be creative. Karamatsu was already an actor of some sort, so there was no need to...! Bah! Freaking heck with it! Making up stories was never difficult when you grew up as a liar!

Todomatsu flipped the leather jacket over his own shoulders and lifted his chin at Karamatsu.

“Todomatsu?” Sen called out. “Are you two over here?”

Just in time. Todomatsu elbowed Karamatsu’s gut, and after a grunt from him, Todomatsu said, “Follow. My. Lead. Or I’m going to burn all of your clothes before you even blink again.”

“Eh? Uh, ‘kay,” Karamatsu hesitantly agreed.

“Totty? Ah, there you two are.” Sen made herself visible as she stepped out of the corner turn. And being able to now see them openly, she stopped walking, for good reason. “Um, is this a bad time?”

“No, not at all,” Todomatsu said, speaking with an impression of his brother as he tried to wave a hand with dismissal. Cod, he could already smell the cologne. “It’s my brother here. It’s not much, but I find it quite unruly of him to root through my clothing without my permission. I’m just trying to set him straight for it again. Apologies, Sen-chan.”

“Eh?!” Karamatsu half-gasped, only faltering when he saw the stiletto aimed at him in Todomatsu’s glare. “Ah, yeah, sorry about that,” he said lightly, timidly. “I was, uh...Going through a phase? I wanted to be, uh, like him.” He pointed at Todomatsu limitedly. Todomatsu jerked his head slightly. Doing great, you lame actor. Karamatsu-niisan.

“Ah, I don’t think I should be here then,” Sen amended, backing away from them with a light flush and an apologetic smile. “If this is something personal, the last thing I want to do is walk in on your talk.”

“Heh, we’re fine, my dear. Kindly decrease your pressure on our situation,” Todomatsu soothed in a baritone, Karamatsu’s jaw lowering beside him as his eyes dilated. “We will report back to the main cafe shortly. My brother here, must only receive a brief scolding. We will be fine, such as we always can be. Right, my dear brother Karamatsu?”

Karamatsu sniffed, taking his palms to the corners of his eyes. “Cod, you’ve adapted so much...!” he sniveled proudly, and defeatedly, to Sen’s ears. “I’m so proud of you, Totty!”

Todomatsu felt a vein bob under his skin. When they were alone, he was going to kill this man.

But for the meantime, he said, “Oh, do not weep, brother! Forgiveness is always a virtue in our bloodline! I will not hold your prejudices against you! Instead, come into my arms as I will blanket you with comfort that will leave you spellbound in my affection!” And as much as he didn’t want to do it, Todomatsu spread out his arms, which were immediately touching not the air anymore but Karamatsu as he threw himself against Todomatsu’s chest.

“You sound like me! I’m so happy!” Karamatsu cried, though gratefully softly enough for Sen not to hear.

“Can it, niisan,” Todomatsu hissed in reply. “If you mess up the act none of us will be able to walk this earth again without regret dragging our ankles. Just continue being this emotional and we’ll be fine. Make me look cool here.”

“Okay, brother. I...Wait...If you’re acting like me and telling me to make you look cool...” Karamatsu hiccuped. “Does that mean you think I’m cool?” he sobbed out desperately.

Todomatsu choked, his entire body warming as his face fell red. “N-No! You’re not cool! There’s a reason for all of this and I—!”

“I’ll just leave now,” Sen said, wagging her hand as her shoes planted themselves on the ground behind her. “You two sort yourselves out. I’ll be glad to cover you for a bit, Totty, if you need time to settle things out.”

“Your heart truly was mantled from Hephaestus’s golden chamber,” Todomatsu rasped, his body and mind matted with sequins on wounds.

Karamatsu buried his head in deeper, squeezing Todomatsu tighter as Sen dipped her head and vanished from sight. Only then did Todomatsu grind his teeth together and shove Karamatsu off him, making the older man stumble back and catch himself by a pillar, blinking wetly at Todomatsu.

“Okay, enough,” Todomatsu said tersely, eyelids weighing down unamused as his arms interlaced parallel to his torso. “Karamatsu-niisan, can you please not tell anyone of this, ever? I’m gonna tell you everything, but swear to me that all this is to be kept between us. If anything comes out, your head will be what our brothers will see at the dinner table later tonight.”

“Of course! If there’s a secret, I promise of sealed lips that I would take with me to my tombstone!” Karamatsu vowed, a fist connecting to his left breast. “Reveal all you need to, my brother! I await your words.”

“Cod, that’s so painful,” Todomatsu wheezed, then cleared his throat afterwards, lowering the sunglasses for solid eye contact. “I was given the chance to become a cashier because they thought I was you. Or at least, you were me, but I think you might have an idea. They really liked your speaking patterns from the interview, and wanted that to be the first thing that customers heard when entering Sutabaa. So assuming I was you, and wanting to rise from a crappy janitor, I pretended to be you so that I can achieve that higher position. It’s my rise in the caste system, honestly. It’s all I ever wanted.”

“T...Totty...” Karamatsu breathed.

“Iya-ya, it’s not much,” Todomatsu promised, gesturing for emphasis. “But I thought it was the only shot I got. I understood you enough that it wasn’t really hard to be like you, so that was the least of my problems. But of course, it was painful as hell, since the entire week had me trying to be someone I’m not. I guess I...I...” Then the realization, for the first time, hit him, and he wrinkled the leather jacket in his hands, smacked it to the ground, and turned to walk away.

But then there was a hand clamping around his wrist, and Karamatsu had stopped Todomatsu from going any further with his promising hold. “Oi. You aren’t going without finishing that sentence, Todomatsu,” he said sternly.

“They like you more than me,” Todomatsu spat out brokenly.

Karamatsu’s reply was his muteness.

“Think about it, niisan. If it were just you trying to be me before, it would’ve landed me as nothing but a plain old janitor if nothing at all,” Todomatsu blabbered, a finger pushing up the shades as he averted his gaze to his feet. “But when you broke into you, I got the chance of being a cashier again. And now the only reason I’m keeping the job is because I’ve been trying to be you. If I were being me, what would I even be contributing to society? Nothing. Maybe that’s why I lost the job in the first place.”

Karamatsu was still holding him firmly.

“Never mind. I’m babbling nonsense you won’t understand. Sorry, Karamatsu-niisan.” Todomatsu used his free hand to rescue his eyes from the blue lenses that were casting his surroundings in aqua. Then he took Karamatsu’s other hand and pressed their surface on them, securing his fake identity with its true owner once again. “I’ll just return to work now. Pretend that you finally won over me so that they don’t ask why I’m me instead of you.”

“Totty.”

Todomatsu exhaled softly. “Hm?”

“Is that why my glasses have been disappearing all week?”

“...yes.”

“So I guess...It’s best you have your own pair, right?” Karamatsu chuckled, handing back his sunglasses. “You still need to pretend to be me, right? And I still need to pretend to be someone else?”

Todomatsu inclined his head, surprise painting him. “Eh? What do you mean? I’m giving you back your identity, you dimwit, trying to live with mine. Are you so agreeing that it’s better I fake myself instead? Is that how much I suck to you?”

“Far, Todomatsu,” Karamatsu stated steadily. “It’s because I learned before that you can learn when you pretend to be someone else. By being in someone else’s shoes, you come to realize how much there is to love about yourself. Is that not true? Is my painful personality not something you cannot stand? It is, and that’s why you even think of yourself as better than me. The last thing I want is you to think of yourself so lowly because of my accomplishments.

“Todomatsu, you were sick the day I came to the interview as you. But remember, that was the second interview. Sutabaa managed to accept you once, and was willing to do so again after you dropped out when we humiliated you. If they had seen you for who you truly were, then I’m certain that they would still be ready to welcome you again as the real Todomatsu Matsuno as you are.”

“Then...Why did you want to give me these...?” Todomatsu gasped out, trailing his thumbs over the dark blue lenses of the shades.

“I wanted to teach you that lesson,” Karamatsu said, shrugging casually with a small smirk. “But I just explained the mechanics in my agenda, so there’s no use for that now. I think it’s best you just return to Sutabaa again as yourself instead of a clone of me. Because, brother. You’re surprisingly good at it.”

“Gee, thanks,” Todomatsu said, his heart finally softening free from whatever claws had once gripped it. “I’m sorry I threw your jacket like that.”

“There’s always the laundry. Don’t worry about that.” Karamatsu laughed. “Come now, brother. I still have my coffee in the waiting, do I not? Please treat your brother to something to warm his insides from the Antarctica waters in which it has drowned.”

“Ugh, fine,” Todomatsu said, but not harshly, before looking down at the shades. “Are these really mine now though? I think they match your face better than mine. And I think they will miss you if they were gone.” Grinning, he hung the sunglasses from Karamatsu’s top, then stood back with satisfaction, hands pressed to his waist.

“Heh. Thank you, Todomatsu,” Karamatsu said, chuckling.

Then together, they went back to the entrance of Sutabaa, opening the door as Todomatsu cried out, “Sen-chan! We’re back! And we have a coffee pending for—!”

“Oh hey, you two!” Osomatsu greeted, hands in the pocket of his hoodie as he stood in front of the counter, Sen at the other side. “I was actually gonna ask where you were, Karamatsu! I heard you were working here in Sutabaa and I was curious to know if it was true!”

Todomatsu and Karamatsu gaped in unison. “Eh?!”

“But I guess I was wrong,” Osomatsu said, rubbing his nose with a finger. “Totty’s wearing the uniform. Now you make me wanna ask about the rumors: why was I hearing of a Sutabaa cashier who uses Karamatsu slang every time he gets an order? I didn’t wanna believe it, and I still don’t, but maybe I should be realizing that since it’s both of you involved! Of course Totty would have the best impersonation other than Jyushimatsu—you two were besties as kids, right? So it’s safe to say that you were looking up to Karamatsu for a while, Totty!” Osomatsu laughed.

Todomatsu’s stomach coiled. “B-But—!”

“Is that true, Todomatsu-san?” Sen asked, frowning a little.

“It’s gotta be, right?” Osomatsu continued. “Totty would do anything to get what he wants. If being a ‘Karamatsu’ would help him in his salary, then he’d do it. Just like he’d lie to other Sutabaa employees that he was from a university so big when all he was was a NEET. It’s simple—he’s a demon for a reason.”

“Wait,” Sen said, frown deepening. “Does this mean that it wasn’t Todomatsu at the interview? But Karamatsu?”

“Hah? Totty never went to any interview,” Osomatsu exposed obliviously, unaware of the jaws on the floor from the two brothers standing next to him. “Ha-ha! Sen-chan, right? You’re making me laugh here! Don’t tell me you mistook Karamatsu for Totty! I mean, I might, but they’re brothers, so identity thief shenanigans is a thing and so cheating is not hard!”

Sen stared. So did Karamatsu. Todomatsu felt his entire body burn into ashes.

~~~

Todomatsu’s butt slammed on the sidewalk from the force of the hands that had previously shoved him out of the building.

Karamatsu immediately went to his side. “Totty! Wh-What did they tell you, my brother?”

Todomatsu clicked his tongue. “I got fired.”

Karamatsu’s face fell.

“Welp, all in a day’s work, right?” Osomatsu said, spinning his heels and going ahead. “Hey, I won a bit in pachinko, by the way. Wanna try using that in some of the races? We might get half as much if I use my detective brain again to read between the lines!” He laughed. “Just like I did with you two idiots.”

Todomatsu ground his teeth. He really was surrounded by demons.

[tcpimpabutterfly]

THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP TAG

Status: Accepting

@streetsofsecrets said: tony and naomi!

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?: Tony, but unintentionally. Like not directly at Naomi to hurt her feelings, but just because his temper is rising and he needs to let off some of that steam.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?: Tony! First off, she’s always at his house so why would he leave his own house, second of all I can see the two of them being very stubborn in the moment and having a “You know what? I’m over this!” Type moment and the other person being like “Okay, so leave then!😤” and neither of them actually doing it.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?: I can see Naomi leaving him alone for a couple of hours and going to take a walk with Rocky around the city just to clear her mind.

Who trashes the house?: that house is too big for any of them to even start thinking about trashing it.

Do either of them get physical?: Something will maybe get tossed, but that’s about as far as that goes. Their arguments rarely get that serious.

How often do they argue/disagree?: I find that they tend to argue more once they both start getting full schedules. They have a lot on their plate, Naomi with working on her debut album still and Tony with his whole redeeming himself in the media thing, so they’re both on their toes. It’s a lot of pressure and sometimes they find themselves unintentionally taking it out on each other. Mostly it’s petty and they’ll recognize that and do something to calm their nerves, so serious arguments happen rarely.

Who is the first to apologise?: Naomi technically? It’s something that they do together if their argument is ever too serious. She’ll talk it out with him, tell him what she didn’t like about the argument, how she could’ve responded a little better than she did, and they both say sorry to each other at the end. It was corny at first for the both of them, but they’re working on their communication skills. She’s usually the one to initiate the apologizing process.

Sex:

Who is on top?: Tony, Naomi is too shy for all that 🥴

Who is on the bottom?: Naomi. Though, after some experience and comfortableness, she might go for top position one day.

Who has the strangest desires?: Naomi, but because she’s still trying to figure out what she likes and doesn’t like. Like she’ll randomly come up to Tony or they’ll be laying in bed and she’ll be like “Can I play with your feet?” And then she’ll know if she has a foot kink or not. She does not 😔.

Any kinks?: Naomi took a kink test once and was displeasingly shocked to find out that she was 76% vanilla. The test also told her that she has a thing for exhibition, masochism, voyeurism.

Who’s dominant in bed?: Tony, but I don’t think dominance really plays a part in their sessions like that unless they’re really getting into it. Also, she’s come to ththe conclusion that’s she’s a switch.

 Is head ever in the equation?: Yeah, sex without foreplay and build up is so boring to her, it’s exactly why she doesn’t have any experience like that!

If so, who is better at performing it?: They’re both really good, but Naomi is better at it ☝🏾

 Ever had sex in public?: Absolutely do not come into their dressing room if it’s locked or has a dnd tag on it. So, yes.

Who moans the most?: Hmmmm, the both of them moan a lot me think.

Who leaves the most marks?: Naomi. It’s kind of her thing, but she makes sure to put them in spots where they won’t show.

Who screams the loudest?: Naomi, maybe she’ll even hit a high note for him.

Who is the more experienced of the two?: Obviously it’s Tony, but Naomi is going to work her way up there!

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?: hmm, fuck. Lovemaking doesn’t come later on until they’re able to classify what they have as a relationship.

Rough or soft?: 75% rough, 25% soft.

 How long do they usually last?: 30mins to an hour. Maybe an hour and thirty minutes if they’re feeling eventful.

Is protection used?: Sometimes they remember to use it and sometimes they forget.

Does it ever get boring?: No, they’re always trying new things because of Naomi.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: In a recording studio booth. At least that was weird for Naomi. Makes her laugh every time she thinks about it.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?: Naomi wants children eventually because she has this whole Kardashian or Jackson 5 (depending on what type of talent her kids come out with) future for them or any type of future that’ll involve them benefiting from nepotism. She never really brought up kids or asked Tony directly if he wanted them so if they ever have them it’ll 100% be an accident. Plus, they’re both really busy with their careers to even be thinking about kids like that. BUT, because of what you sent me on Discord they gotta have at least one eventually.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?: Naomi wants a bunch of them and by a bunch I mean around 3-5. She’s always wanted a big family and wanted that family aspect to be important to her family since it was really only her and her mom growing up.

Who is the favorite parent?: Their kids love both of them dearly, they really do! BUT, they just have a certain bias towards Naomi since she’s always so affection with them, always showing love, and fit into the role of a parent pretty quick. It took Tony a minute to do the same, but he came around eventually.

Who is the authoritative parent?: Tony. Naomi just threatens to discipline them by saying she’s going to do things like take away their phone, but them in timeout, etc but she never actually does it. Tony is the one who steps up and actually does it. She’s a pushover when it comes to kids.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?: Naomi. The kid can be the absolute worse at acting and put no effort into their sick voice and she’d still be like “Tony 🥺 look at them 🥺🥺 they don’t feel good!! 🥺”

Who’s more likely to let them indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?: Tony. I feel like he uses candy as a means of bribery for the children.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?: Even with busy schedules they do their best to turn up and support them and if only one can make it they make sure to take plenty of pictures and videos for the other to see or FaceTime them so they can act like they’re there.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?: Naomi.

Who changes the diapers?: Naomi tricks Tony into changing them all the time. She’ll hand the baby off to him knowing their diaper is full and once he points it out she’ll act all oblivious.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?: Tony. Naomi is one heavy sleeper.

Who spends the most time with the children?: Naomi. Her schedule isn’t nearly as packed as Tony’s is and even when it is she makes sure to keep everything she has to do in the same area or bring them along with her. She doesn’t want to be one of those famous moms that leave their kids with nannies all the time.

Who packs their lunch boxes?: Naomi tries to remember to do it, but the kids almost always end up doing it themselves.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?: Naomi is coming to the dining table with all types of fruit for presentation and Tony is getting dragged along with her.

Who cleans up after the kids?: Even though they’re rich enough to have maids clean up for them, which they probably do, Naomi feels it’s her responsibility to clean up after them until they’re old enough to do it themselves.

Who worries the most?: Tony. Naomi just went into momma bear mode so quickly and easily while it was a lot harder for Tony to adjust to having a child and the responsibilities that come with that.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?: Tony. Luckily their child’s first word was “Madone!” And not something like shot.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?: Naomi. She’ll just flop on Tony without his permission or not.

Who is the little spoon?: Naomi. After a long day of nonstop work she needs to be held.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?: heh, Tony.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?: Naomi. Whether it’s messing with his hands or rubbing her foot against his underneath the table, she seems to always be touching him in some way.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?: For a while. Usually their cuddle sessions end when Naomi has to go pee or gets hungry.

Who gives the most kisses?: Naomi, but even by other people’s standards that’s not a lot of kisses.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?: Recording studio sessions together! A lot of crazy things and great ideas have came about from them being in the studio together.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?: On the bed.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?: Naomi has definitely pounced or smacked something of Tony’s for a Tik Tok.

How often do they get time to themselves?: Not often. They might work together a lot, but time alone where it’s just them and they don’t have any business to take care of is rare. Some days, weeks even, they do without seeing or talking to each other.

Sleeping:

Who snores?: The both of them do.

If both do, who snores the loudest?: Surprisingly, it’s Naomi. She be in the bed slumped 😴

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?: In the beginning they used to sleep separately, but I feel like a classic “Sorry, something happened and there’s only one bed in the room!” Fanfic type moment happened to them.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?: They actually lay apart. Not too far apart, their legs are sometimes intertwined, but they don’t sleep too close together.

Who talks in their sleep?: Naomi, sometimes.

What do they wear to bed?: Naomi goes to sleep naked dksjdkdk. But when Tony sleeps with her she tries to be civil and at least wear a robe or some underwear to bed. Sometimes.

Are either of your muses insomniacs?: No. they do find themselves staying up longer than the average person whether that be because of work or because they have a lot on their mind.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?: Yeah, mostly to fix jet lag. Naomi used to take them after she got kidnapped because she found it hard to fall asleep some nights, but she doesn’t really take them like that anymore.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?: Sometimes Naomi will drape her arm and one leg over Tony’s torso.

Who wakes up with bed hair?: Naomi. She’s always forgetting to put her bonnet or scarf on so she wakes up looking like a lion.

Who wakes up first?: Tony. Naomi is not a morning person at all, but she gets up like 30 mins after him.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?: if by breakfast in bed you mean “I bought some breakfast for you but I’m going to put it on a plate and pretend like I cooked it,” then Naomi!

What is their favourite sleeping position?: Side by side with some of them limbs draped over the other. Not completely cuddling, but not completely separate either.

Who hogs the sheets?: Naomi’s trifling self.

Do they set an alarm each night?: Unless they have something planned the next day, no.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?: Yeah. Naomi needs to be able to rewatch Sailor Moon and Adventure Time from the comfort of her bed.

Who has nightmares?: The both of them. They’re not too intense, but every now and then one of them will get one that wakes them up from their sleep and has them up for the rest of the night.

Who has ridiculous dreams?: Naomi. I’m not even going to go into her weird dreams.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?: I’m going to throw out a wild card and say Naomi’s evil little shih tzu.

Who makes the bed?: Naomi has the habit of making it as soon as she gets up from the bed.

What time is bed time?: whenever they get home from work that day.

Any routines/rituals before bed?: Sometimes they have a whole bedtime ritual going on like a shower, skincare, etc. but sometimes they’re so exhausted from work that they get home and just collapse on the bed.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?: The both of them. Especially when they think of all the work they have to do that day.

Work:

Who is the busiest?: They’re both equally busy in their own ways, but Tony a little more than Naomi since she’s still an upcoming artist and trying to make those connections and get relevant enough to be on certain talk shows.

Who rakes in the highest income?: They both make a lot of money, but Tony makes more.

Are any of your muses unemployed?: Nope!

Who takes the most sick days?: Naomi. She can be lazy at times.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?: hmmm, I’m going to say Tony because Naomi would say Tony.

Who sucks up to their boss?: I wouldn’t say suck up, but Tony definitely works a lot more in favor of his higher ups and media than Naomi does.

What are their jobs?: They’re both famous singers!

Who stresses the most?: The both of them. Tony is working at redeeming his career and Naomi is working at getting hers started, they’re both very stressful people.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?: While their career does have a lot of cons, it’s things like meeting fans, being able to put your work out there, and getting rewarded for your work that makes it all worth it!

Are your muses financially stable?: pft, between the two of them they have enough money to make sure their grandkids’ kids are cared for.

Home:

Who does the washing?: they have someone that does that for them!

Who takes out the trash?: Naomi. Sometimes she’ll take the dogs with her just for a quick short walk.

Who does the ironing?: they have someone who does this for them too, but Naomi will pull out the iron every now and then if her clothes aren’t looking crisp.

Who does the cooking?: Either Tony does it or they eat out.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?: There’s a random burn spot on Tony’s marble counters and Naomi definitely has no idea where it came from!

Who is messier?: Naomi. She’s clumsier in nature too.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?: Tony. Naomi throws the roll at him every time he forgets or she’ll waddle our the bathroom angrily to get some more.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?: I think the both of them have a habit of doing that, sadly. Especially Naomi, catch her leaving award show dresses on the floor all the time.

Who forgets to flush the toilet?: Neither of them I would hope.

Who is the prankster around the house?: Naomi all the way. She just loves messing with him in general. His reactions are always funny to her.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?: Tony. Naomi doesn’t even know how to drive.

Who mows the lawn?: They have someone who does that.

Who answers the telephone?: Naomi leaves that to Tony.

Who does the vacuuming?: Naomi if she notices she spilled or got something on the floor because she’s messy like that.

Who does the groceries?: They usually get them delivered or have someone else do them cause no one is trying to have a mini meet and greet at a grocery store. Sometimes she’ll force him to go on late night Target with her.

Who takes the longest to shower?: Naomi. She’s preforming for her world tour in there. She has to preform a full set.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?: Also Naomi.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?: Nope!

How many cars do they own?: I feel like Tony has more than one car, so all of his cars plus the one car Dominic bought for Naomi.

Do they own their home or do they rent?: Own! Each of them own their own places.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?: neither.

Do they live in the city or in the country?: They live in the city, but separated from the rest of the city in a gated community that wealthy people alike live in.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?: Yeah. Hardly anyone ever comes by to bother them and the view is nice.

What’s their song?: Love by Keyshia Cole. Of course it has to be some 2000s song because of Naomi.

What do they do when they’re away from each other?: FaceTime each other because Naomi truly has no idea what she’s doing and calls him for every little thing. It’s a dependency she gets rid of eventually, but then it sneaks back up on her kinda after her kidnapping.

Where did they first meet?: in one of those meeting rooms.

How did they first meet?: Well, Naomi and Dominic were both new to the music industry and really didn’t have much direction in what they were doing, so Naomi recommenced picking out someone to help them. It was mostly for her, but Dominic still agreed. She picked out Tony, Dominic reach out to him, set up a meeting for them to all meet and present him with the idea, and the rest is history.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?: The both of them can be a bit lavish with their spendings.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?: Naomi. Not in a cocky way, but in a ‘This is how you know I made it!’ Type way.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?: Don’t let Tony fall or trip in front of Naomi because she will constantly crack jokes.

Any mental issues?: They got a few, but mostly Tony.

Who’s terrified of bugs?: Neither of them honestly.

Who kills the spiders around the house?: Naomi takes them outside if her Great Dane hasn’t already ate them.

Their favourite place?: Naomi’s moms house. It’s one of the few places where they can take a break from the media and being famous and just relax. Plus, she’s an interesting old lady to talk to about her stories from broadway.

Who pays the bills?: They split that! Or at least Naomi tries to split it with him, but I feel like Tony would try to take care of it himself.

Do they have any fears for their future?:

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?: Naomi. Every since he bought her that very shiny bracelet for Christmas she likes to surprise him with luxury things too.

Who uses up all of the hot water?: Naomi.

Who’s the tallest?: They’re both pretty tall, Naomi being 5’8 and Tony being....however tall he is. There’s not much of a height difference between them.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?: Naomi. She has places to be too.

Who wanders around in their underwear?: Naomi. She’ll walk around with a whole titty popping out of her robe, she doesn’t care!

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?: They both be vibing out in the car.

What do they tease each other about?: Everything! They’re always picking and bullying each other. If they’d own do it then the media is. At least their bullying has a funny and friendly undertone to it.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?: “I know you’re Italian, but do you have to dress like that all the time?” —Naomi to Tony on multiple occasions.

Do they have mutual friends?: Yeah, they have a lot of the same connections in the industry and even outside of the industry seeing that the Amicis are a crime family as well.

Who crushed first?: Naomi, you caught her red handed. She never acted on it until later on because she honestly thought Tony didn’t like her at all at first. Not even had a colleague.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?: Tony 👀👀

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?: Tony and he has before 😔

Who swears the most?: The both of them swear equally as much. Naomi only a tiny bit more than Tony.