#I also read all about that Peanut arc and what the FUCK that was so fun to read

[allwormdiet]

Shell 4.3

In which we finally discuss the locker

Little surprised that Alec is taking the lead on this one, but pleasantly so

And yeah, here we finally get an explanation for powers and triggers and all that, or at least the foundations of it

...Also there's no way that Glory Girl triggered just because of a basketball game, that has to be a crock of shit. What's up with New Wave claiming to be the most open hero team and then coming off the shadiest? How am I trusting these people less than I trust the government capes?

I like that they make a point of reassuring her after her blunder. She couldn't have known, and they know that, and they don't hold it against her. I love these kids.

Brian seems more comfortable smacking Alec around than he does Rachel. I don't think that's a thing of not wanting to hit women, last arc he decked Vista like she owed him money. Maybe it's that Rachel intentionally provokes that reaction and Alec is just kind of a little shit? Idk

Again, I remain utterly fixated on how this is Taylor's one line, the thing she refuses to compromise on ever. I'll buy that she doesn't want outside interference from the Undersiders or other capes when it comes to the bully situation, but it's harder to do that when she never makes a move herself.

This is so. Evil. Like, the false friendship, the rotting tampons, the imprisonment. The fact that nobody who sees this play out even bothers to help her. The fact that she's trapped for hours. If that didn't give someone a trigger event, I'm not sure anything would.

Alec is actually so real for this. Like for all that he was disgusted with the story (which, fair) his disgust isn't with Taylor, it's with the fuckers who did that to her. And Brian agrees with him! Lisa is making a point of not disagreeing, even.

Oh hey, Taylor actually acknowledges her thing with anger and violent retribution. Glad she's cognizant of that, it'd be a whole situation if she wasn't tbh

Actually thank god for Alec keeping up this line of thinking, this might be the most passionate we've seen him get about anything. The runner up is like, him being annoyed he can't keep Kid Win's skateboard, and that's peanuts compared to this. Maybe he's wrong about the revenge thing but I don't know that he is, and he's definitely not wrong about the indignity that Taylor is allowing herself to suffer

I don't think this is half the lie that Taylor thinks it is. For all that she has noble intentions, and I don't doubt she'll do her best with those... I don't think Taylor's drive to be a superhero was entirely selfless. This isn't all truth and justice going on here, this is feeling strong and being appreciated by others and not being looked at like a bottom-feeder.

Wonder when she'll figure that out for herself

Get cared about idiot! Get absolutely blanketed with affection and approval from the people who would absolutely rip your bullies apart if you asked them to!

You know. I think Brian's trigger event is one of the ones I know the least about? I know the broad strokes of almost every other Undersider, but I don't think I know anything about his.

Current Thoughts

Even knowing what's coming, reading through Taylor's ordeal with the locker is so fucking heartbreaking. She could've died in there and the consolation prize she got was not worth the cost of admission, that's for damn sure. Emma Barnes is a fucking maniac for this one.

The stuff about powers and trigger events is a pretty neat concept, and I like how it kind of contextualizes most capes as being fucked up. Like, I'm thirteen years late to the party on this one, but what a fascinating fucking idea to build your superhero setting on.

Alec really shone through for me in this chapter. Maybe I relate as someone who finds it easier to get angry on others' behalf than to be angry for myself, or maybe it's just nice to see him get fired up about something. I like this kid.

...Got work and a family thing today, but I'll see if I can't slip some more updates in. I'll probably read some at least and double back with my thoughts if nothing else

[fatcatlittlebox]

I see so much discourse on X about Celeborn and as a multi shipper it's quite annoying. I don't think people realize that Haladriel isn't going anywhere. In fact, when you compare all the established canon couple fanworks against all the protagonist/antagonist (even anti-heros) fanworks in ALL SERIES/BOOKS/SHOWS/ETC TO EVER EXIST, there will always be more of the latter simply because of 2 reasons: the what if's to be explored and the forbidden aspect of it. I wish ppl would calm down. I also find it silly when I see my own mutuals dunk on Haladriel over the 'toxic' aspects and it bothers me too since I like both ships. Unlike Celedriel, you guys can take a Sauron & Galadriel relationship (in all sense of the word, not just in a pairing context) and take it in ANY direction you want, with enough creativity. You can write them as friends in an AU, or even before they became known by their names (like her meeting Mairon before he became Sauron). You can write S1 and S2 (even 3-5) divergence fics, redemption arcs, dystopia fics, crack fics, dead doves, or even fluff (like off-stage AU where they're not enemies off screen). Heck, since you guys got the mind palace thing, and with her growth over the ages, you can even find ways to make non-AU fluff/hurt&comfort (maybe when they're both tired of this endless fight of the ages because it's a stalemate and he wants to repent but he can't due to Morgoth's corruption and he knows it?). Haladriel has a cosmic connection, and I think this implies that even if one of them dies, it will still exist somehow even when they pass into the Undying lands. Haladriels don't understand how much advantage they have with being portrayed by actors with amazing chemistry, an established and growing fanbase, an entire season without any kind of background conflict that takes the focus away from them as their relationship was explored and developed, having it all: UST, 'acquaintances fighting alongside each other to become friends' and the 'friends-to almost?-to enemies' aspect, and there are even Tolkien's writings that confirm he is capable of redemption. I've even seen well-written fan theories on ways that he can redeem himself too. It's like star-crossed lovers baked into every kind of trope that ppl like to explore. Really, I don't understand how it's not obvious enough. Yes, she ends up with Celeborn, and they are happily married and their relationship is secure and comfy. I know that may sound boring to some, but that's why I like Haladriel too, because their relationship isn't confined to only one narrative, unlike Tolkien's works. Yes, you can argue that Haladriel has a doomship narrative because they don't end up together, but the appeal of doomships is that you can DO so much with it in fanon, even completely reverse it (as I've seen in fanfics already). If you tried to do something similar with an established canon ship where they are supposed to be happily married, it doesn't make much sense, unless it's for angst. Celeborn is just a humble normal elf and he doesn't have any that. He just trying to vibe, support Galadriel, and not piss anyone off lol. And I say all of that as a pro-Celeborn fan lol. Sorry for this long rant, I just wish they would leave my poor silver clam alone ;_; and for fans to stop fighting.

I agree 💯 with all of this. That’s why I can happily digest all forms of haladriel. Modern AU, canon divergence, coffee shop fluff, Sauron redemption arc, socially awkward Mairon. All of it. And thank peanut butter and bagels the fanfic writers in this fandom are bar none some of the best fucking writers I have ever read. We are so lucky.

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 152 - My Thoughts/Analysis

I’ve read plenty of disappointing manga chapters in my time and this chapter has to be scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of just how bloody bad it is. As always, spoilers for Oshi No Ko Ch 152 below.

We start off with the fucking interviews for some reason! I said before that we were guaranteed that none of the main cast would die until then but we’re just thrust into them? Without any warning or setup before then??? I know that the interviews were a plot point we’d needed to touch up on before the end but for it to be slammed into our face without any warning is just a disjointed mess considering the events of last chapter. 

AND it’s already November in-universe??? We must have timeskipped an ungodly amount of time since the last chapter for things to land here so what the actual fuck. 

The movie??????? It’s not even being shown to us in full detail and basically being shoved down our throats without the narrative actually showing it????? They’re just going to handwave it just like that without explanation?????

Also, with this timeskip, you’re telling me that absolutely nothing was narratively relevant in between last chapter and this one? And we didn’t even actually get to see the movie after all that time setting it up??? You’re just going to tell us that it’s a sad movie that touched people’s hearts without actually showing it to us directly??? That’s the most pathetic excuse for bad writing I’ve ever seen. It’s the kind of writing that an amateur cooks up when they don’t know how to actually portray a scene that’s well above their skill level. Even Tokyo Blade showed us bits and bobs of the play well enough to sustain a coherent viewpoint but that piece of media wasn’t as narratively relevant than the literal move about our protagonist’s parents! The movie arc was already a mess of pacing—it’s absolutely not correct to pull the same thing that was done to Tokyo Blade with how much narrative buildup was spent setting it up.

The only thing that could save this timeskip from being a completely horrible narrative decision is the idea that we’ll be getting flashbacks between the earlier chapters and now but at this point there’s fundamentally no reason why things just couldn’t have been done chronologically instead of jumping all around like this! Even if—and this is a goddamn big if, because the series is already spiraling downhill like a plane about to crash into the ocean—even if the series decides to give us flashbacks about important things that happened in between this timeskip, it’ll also be stupidly disjointed considering how horrible the pacing of these recent chapters have been! 

But back to the chapter at large. The peanut gallery is now reacting to the movie. It’s kind of odd that Frill says that Ruby’s acting is bad when she managed to capture Ai better than any of the other candidates. Surely that much has to count for something, after all. But on the other hand it’s a tossup whether or not Frill is knowledgeable enough about acting from a director’s standpoint as well considering that that perspective matters just as much as the actor’s standpoint. 

Then this whole narration about how Ruby’s final act determined how everyone felt about this movie—that’s a garbage move to pull when the manga didn’t even show said final act on screen!

The scene shifts to Gotanda and Kaburagi having a smoke break together. Finally some adults in this goddamn manga. Please save us from these horrible narrative decisions before I have to spend yet more time on this sorry excuse of a manga. 

It seems I spoke too soon because haha I’m sorry what was that Kaburagi? He’s guilty about letting Ai and Hikaru meet? And this garbage about his actions being about Aqua and Ruby’s sake? I recall a certain scene in Chapter 14 where he didn’t give a flying fuck who plays the role for the stalker in Sweet Today. And considering that Kaburagi was intentionally using Kana as an easy actress to take up shitty acting opportunities and not caring about her career before Tokyo Blade did he not think about the damage to Aqua’s own career???

There’s also the fact he’d pointed Aqua down in Hikaru’s direction in the first place early on in the manga. He couldn’t have been straight with Aqua right then and there? It was obvious that Aqua was looking for revenge when he was asking for information about Ai, so would it have killed him to spill the beans to Aqua when he was asking already? And don’t give me the excuse that he didn’t know that Aqua was Ai’s child at the time because it makes the entire recontextualization of his behavior a moot point! 

Maybe he only figured out that Aqua and Ruby were Ai’s kids when Aqua leaked that fact to the press. Maybe. But if that was the case then this entire scene might as well have just been a great big nothingburger because there’s no use feeding us a scene that shows us that Kaburagi was responsible for Ai and Hikaru meeting in the first place when we already knew that Kaburagi sort of helped push Ai in Hikaru’s direction from early on in the series. This entire bit about giving Kaburagi some depth and revealing that he cared for Ai is nice in theory, but not when we’re so close to the finish line of the series and with so many other side characters that were pulled back to the movie that were already lacking in depth! 

Another annoying thing about this entire scene is that it doesn’t feel like Kaburagi did so much to help sell this movie beyond the norm. Yeah—he certainly tried to do so as revealed by this scene but nowhere was it made clear that he was expending extra effort for this movie to become a hit aside from maybe pulling some strings to get the side characters on board with the movie, but even then that’s just a small piece of evidence to help sell this whole “Kaburagi did so much to help this movie succeed” factoid that the manga is trying to pull.

Not to mention he appears to be just fine talking to Hikaru during the movie arc itself. What’s up with that, huh? Are we ever going to get an explanation for them meeting up? Not goddamn likely with how fast the manga’s been progressing recently. You could rename the manga to Oshi No Timeskips at this point.

The final image of a baby Ai and a younger Kaburagi is cute, though. I do wonder what kind of relationship they had then—seems a shame that we didn’t get more of Kaburagi’s thoughts on Ai if they were close throughout the series, but the entire manga has been one big mess of missed opportunities at this point. 

Now it’s Aqua’s turn on the interviews. Looks like we’re plunging into them without a condom. That’s the type of shit that I’ve come to expect from the manga at this point. Raw unfiltered scenes that are so divorced from each other that it feels like there’s no rhyme or reason anymore. It’s like there’s some checklist going on where the author is shoving these characters from Point A to Point B without actually showing us how they go there in the first place.

It's interesting that these aren’t being chronologically done as they were shown in the earlier chapters. Though honestly I could believe that the other interviews also happened and they were just done offscreen. That kind of garbage writing is the type of thing that this manga tends to do when it just doesn’t know how to deal with its own goddamn material. I merely need to point to the fact that Crow Girl and Aqua’s first meeting was offscreen when a meeting as important as that should have been done much earlier in the manga.

Aqua with white star eyes??? And he doesn’t even have the fucking pericing on his ear??? AND Hikaru is dealing with Aqua’s interview???

End chapter. My god. What an absolute shitshow. 

Are we speedrunning this shit now? It’s downright amazing how just a handful of panels have blown my expectations on just how bad this manga can get. The disjointed nature of all of these recent chapters has been a symptom of Oshi No Ko for a long time now—stemming from the Tokyo Blade arc—but there was only a singular focus in said arc in contrast to the movie arc and now THIS travesty???

What an absolutely useless chapter. It’s barely even worth the paper it’s printed on. Every time I read a chapter of this manga these days I feel my brain cells start to weep at the downright horrible narrative decisions that are being made every single time I turn a page. 

If I was an editor for the series and saw the draft for this chapter, it would be sent straight back after I dipped the entire draft in red ink. It’s an exercise on what not to do because of the sheer amount of red flags in this chapter. The massive timeskips? The inability to actually show the story progressing instead of shoveling events down the readers’ throats? The twists coming into focus that only serve to dredge up some cheap drama as though the manga was the lowest quality soap opera?

And then story has the gall to tell us that it’s the last fucking arc??? I’m sorry—how are you going to settle this love triangle bullshit, Aqua’s revenge plan, Ruby’s feelings, the B-Komachi graduation, Hikaru’s motives and the truth of Ai’s death, Niino’s involvement with Hikaru, those goddamn DVDs, and most importantly of all, Crow Girl’s involvement with the twins in general??? A competent writer would have difficulty dealing with all of these plot points organically in 60 chapters! I doubt we’ll even get half of that with the way this manga is speedrunning to the ending to its detriment! 

The interviews being done by Kamiki has to be one of the most godawful twists this manga has ever cooked up. While I’m not saying twists like that are bad in any way, the manga’s been relying on similar narrative tricks to shore up its weaknesses for long enough that I don’t even feel bad for tearing it down as much as I do. 

It’s a twist that had absolutely no foreshadowing come before it that only exists as an attempt to stir up cheap ass drama. Combined with the fact that we got a massive timeskip last chapter, Aqua has apparently only gotten a single white star eye now, the fact that none of these interviews have been set up well besides the basic ass explanations we’ve gotten in the earlier chapters, and now that Hikaru has appeared in front of Aqua without his own reaction to this whole clusterfuck before these interviews itself is just bad writing in general. 

I’m just waiting to see if Hikaru has a good enough reason to put his neck on the line for this idiocy and if he’s the one who’d done all the other interviews. I recall one with Ichigo in particular that I was very curious about—but with the manga being hard and fast with the timeline at this point I don’t have high hopes for any chance of getting a satisfactory ending to this whole mess.

It’s difficult to analyze and rub a couple of brain cells together when the media you’re analyzing seems intent on being the equivalent of media junk food. I feel like I haven’t done any sort of analysis on this chapter and instead cut out the chapter’s guts on display but there really isn’t anything more to call attention to. The pitfalls the manga is falling into are evident and what little that appears adequate on the surface are just false flags that only give off the illusion that there’s still some quality in this chapter.

[azsazz]

genuinely wondering now though, is it worth reading through TOG and CC to understand whats going to happen in the next ACOTAR book? I genuinely have 0 interest in the other series and really only engage in ACOTAR content lmao

i have my qualms about the way sjm writes but idk to me it feels like a fun little book where you just have to turn your mind and brain off when reading? i nearly dropped the whole series after acomaf because i was genuinely confused and conflicted with what happened to tamlin’s character. i really liked him in book 1 and then acomaf and the next books came along and i still really like him and he’s my favorite character just on the basis that i think his character was done an injustice. at this point, idk if i want her to write his redemption arc because im so scared of what she’s going to do to his character but i also don’t want him dead bc i do want to see him again at some point.

regardless, i’m just wondering if i should even get into TOG and CC, but especially CC because yeah.. i haven’t heard the best things about it. I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts !!

i personally read tog earlier this year and i enjoyed it. it was def plot focused and not smut focused, so we got to see some good things happening plot and semi-character-wise

i don't like cc at all so i'm not the best person to ask about that. but i also do feel like sjm is the type of author where if you wanted to know what was going on fully you might have to read all of the books because i dont see her being that person where she'll do a quick short paragraph recap of what things mean/what's happening.

oh yeah i love just reading for the fun of it, cc was too much for my peanut brain to comprehend lol but i dont think even tog was that crazy with world building. sjm is def rushing cc to make all of these things work.

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE BEASTY TAM he was done so fucking wrong

[piduai]

top 5 tsurumi moments pls

when heeeee bit off usami's finger it changed me forever. i kept going back to that page for weeks. it was october 2020 and first it was the korean leaks. that left me speechless and confused. then it was the japanese release. that left me speechless And confused. then the english scanlation that left me... speechless and confused. what is WRONG with this guy. i am still speechless and confused tbh my jaw is on the floor from the memory alone. brain altering happening

the whole of church arc was noda coming out saga (as a tsurumigirl) it was hit after hit after hit and they all made my brain rattle in my skull like a handful of peanuts in a can. the title drop. my beloved daughter wilksona theatrics (tsurumi's most compelling woman moment yet). i shot a poison arrow at wilk. nuzzling of some guy's discarded face skin like it's a cashmere scarf picked up at a thrift store. the whole... manipulation in action. act. tsurumi theater. i didn't come out normal out of that no sir

what made him my favorite character to begin with aka the edogai arc and the way he was so proactive in spotting edogai-kun's weak spots and manipulating him... like before that he was just hehe ugly bad guy, he's fun! but edogai-kun's dilfhunter metamorphosis in under 3 minutes made me go Wow this guy is actually evil and foul and he KNOWS what he's doing and he's doing it on purpose... slay!

when he attacked abashiri and when asked how he will explain to higher ups wtf happened and why is this high security prison in fucking shambles and he went like oh we'll say it was a locust plague and we came to help <3 it's a double combo because a few chapters before there WAS a locust plague right. what is good about gk is that it's just so cohesive, the details that are thrown around aren't just blanks they're seeds from which the plants grow and they make this beautiful garden of a story. like i just loved that moment. but also it really just spoke of the depth of tsurumi's preparedness and cunning, his intelligence and his strategic ability. he's a capable, ruthless, intelligent, dangerous man. that moment conveyed it profoundly

in noboribetsu when he started threatening ariko and being like Well hijikata is nice but i'm not :) i know who you are and i know everyone who is related to you, and everyone who is related to them, and if you go against me, heh... need i say more? doxx of the century. made me go MAN this guy is fucking evil

5.1. koito kidnapping and tsurumi's own version of the suspension bridge experiment. i was reading it with my mouth agape and my heart pounding like WOW he fucking KNOWS what he's doing. he's a fucking demon... holy fucking shit!!!!

5.2. severely undercut and cheapened by the fact that it was a teehepero :p moment but 513 as a whole. the bonnnneeeeessss moment. him traumatizing asirpa for one last time for good measure before going back to biting people. man i was reading that with my wig vanished out of existence literallyyyy left me speechless like :o ! .... :o the months between the release of the last chapter and the last volume were blissful truly

[semimedieval]

who hasn't straight kissed on their evil father's front lawn? (what's the main plot, some kind of furniture?)

against my better judgement, i'm writing another extranei writeup post before i dig into this summary of contributions. please clap.

this entire 'oh noes monoceros's headquarters' sequence is so lame it's unreal. just really really lame. no clue what monoceros wants. he says he'll keep them prisoner until midsummer's day (are midsummer's day AND the full moon both macguffin dates here? incomprehensible.) then he says "get out of my house." then knights (there's knights now i guess) grab everyone except lupus which is such an obvious setup by Me, Guy Who Controls The Villain, to do this -

A knight appeared and pulled Max away, others held all of them back, except for Lupus. Monoceros walked over to him. "Max!" Ky screamed pulling against the grip of the guards. Lupus didn't think, didn't wonder what happened. He only froze his approaching father, then threw a snow ball into a knight's face, grabbing Max. "Maximus!" he called. "I know you only obey Ky, but please fly away?" He then pushed the other knights back with a wall of ice. "Leave my friends alone," he said, and his voice echoed around the hall. Max flew up, up before anyone could grab him again. How he hated those knights. Ky watched Lupus, admiration in her eyes. This was the Lupus who loved everyone, who really cared. Lupus and Ky. Ky and Lupus. They belonged together.

Wow! So glad that got resolved really really fast <3 this is wildly "unhealthy" but i DO think it was also deeply unfair of me to hold ky and lupus to standards of Healthy Relationship that i was absolutely not holding chuji and obsidian to. god. all for the crime of getting together really fast.

They flee the hall on unicorns. "Rim comes crashing into the hall, sitting on a wave", so the favor of "hey hope we don't mind if we resolve your My Character's In Danger Arc while you're not even onscreen <3" that moopy and i did to spark is now repaid to rim. they all get on unicorns and escape. and now, of course -

"I'm here, Ky," he said, dropping out of the sky without warning. (XD wth?!) "I'm sorry," he said, then his subconscious took over and he kissed her." He felt his cheeks redden. She hated him, and now he'd resent him more. They were over. How could he have done it? "Forgive me, Ky, I, I shouldn't have..." he said, close to tears. Ky put a finger to his lips and kissed him back. Loop's eyes widened. How could she have changed her mind so suddenly. "When you saved Max....it showed me that you cared for everyone not just me. You risked your life for us." "I...uh...we all do it for each other, every day." he stammered. "Thank you Lupus." She said in a sweet voice. "Don't look now, but there's a knight right behind us, about to stab you."

(there are some peanut gallery comments in there from the rest of the gang that i omitted, including quartz saying "this is slightly annoying" in a moment of uncharacteristic bitchiness)

the marvel movie dialogue of the last line is killing me. horrible. so is lupus 'falling out of the sky' (huh???) and so is the fact that i was wrong, ky in fact gives no indication that it's ok to make out with her now, as evidenced by the fact that lupus in the next line feels that he has made a horrible mistake (he is correct). in my defense my gender politics TENDED to be better at this (not when it comes to dunking on girls for being girly, but when it comes to appropriate occasions to kiss someone) but i was good at giving the people what they wanted.

chuji ends up "blasting the knight with fire" which is definitely scary but maybe not a guarantee of death (perfectly possible that it forces him back!), though i sure do read it that way when i have lupus say fucking uh

"Thanks for killing the knight, Chuji," Lupus smiled.

WHICH IS JUST SO COMPLETELY DERANGED. So much for my fucking musings on mortality at fort donelson earlier that year. Take a child to a civil war battlesite and they will have epiphanies about the permanency and seriousness of death for one whole day before completely failing to apply these lessons to their fiction.

and the silliness is not done yet, as we have to get hit with THIS deeply unfortunate scene

Spark looked at the two. "I wish Chuji and Obsidian would do that." Obsidian raised his eyebrows. "I heard that." Chuji walked towards Spark "Sooo. You wish Obsidan and I would practicly french kiss in front of everyone. Huh?" Quartz giggled. Tozi smirked. Obsidian blushed. ”When me and Chuji kiss, we do it in style," "Ha! Like, you know... privatley." "And not so enthusiastically. And with warning." "We never have time to do so... we'll have fun on the beach." (oh my god chuji! *nosebleed*) Tozi's ash turned red. And with that, the conversation ended.

Can you tell the children writing this are coming into their adolescence in catholic school? Does this detail surprise you? Because it's true! Augustine, as ever, is slightly ahead of the curve from me, hinting at a SCANDALOUS case of chuji and obsidian Kissing On The Beach, Nosebleed. Meanwhile, in gabe's words, "not so enthusiastically" is not the flex Obsidian thinks it is.

Jack is conspicuously absent, having termed this conversation way too inappropriate for his endorsement. Also, Obsidian's "Chuji and I are totally kissing a lot!!! Just privately where nobody can see!!" is immediately shut down by Chuji's "We never have time to kiss." (Insane thing to say, but they're an insanely dysfunctional couple.

If you (the nonexistent audience) are wondering if this made it into 2.0, the answer is a resounding YES:

Obsidian coughed politely. “Carry on,” he said cheerfully. “We’re here all day.”  “No we’re not, because we have to rescue Tozi,” said Spark pointedly, but she was holding back a smile. “That was very romantic, though. I wish Chuji and Obsidian would do that.”  “Do what? Passionately kiss in public?” Chuji asked, raising an eyebrow.  Obsidian had never mastered the art of raising a single eyebrow, so instead he raised both. “When Chuji and I kiss, we do it in style.”  Quartz had to giggle at the entirely uncharacteristic phrase, but Chuji was playing along. “Like, you know, privately.”  “Not quite as enthusiastically.”  “With a bit of warning.”  Ky and Lupus were blushing, but his hand was on her waist and his on his shoulder in a way that made Quartz suspect - and god, there was a thought - that the two of them were quite eager to get home.

Sigh at that last line. Such was the nature of Me Being Fifteen And Trying To Look Cool that my inherent assumption was "well if you're fifteen and dating you're obviously having sex!!!!" and like a) i don't wanna think about it. these kids i wrote when i was fifteen are still fifteen, and i'm not anymore. b) i failed to consider that ESPECIALLY in the Semi Medieval nature of this universe, something "we should wait!!" coded is perhaps more likely, maybe not til marriage but til they're older or certain about each other or confident with each other or whatever. i am obviously not against teenagers having sex or this being the case in fiction, i just think i was writing about them with the standards of adult relationships when they are not that. Also, shoutout to me for keeping "not quite as enthusiastically." Do you think Obsidian and Chuji have a "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT" fight offscreen after this exchange? vote now on your phones.

Before we close off and get back to work, a reunion.

Suddenly, Lupus saw a grey unicorn in the crowd. "Twink!" he yelled, practically jumping onto the unicorn's neck. "Twink?" Ky gave him a strange look. "What the heck." said Obsidian casually. To see cold, calculating Lupus cuddling a regal-looking unicorn who was whinnying happily was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. He stood up, embarrassed. "Twink is my old unicorn. My father named him, if you're wondering. His full name is Rainbow Twinkle, but..."

haha yeah yeah twink the unicorn we've all giggled about it but more pertinently: HORSEBOY HORSEBOY HORSEBOY

anyway the gang gets home and is setting off for the sea tomorrow. as a final note because this inexplicably takes place before the timeskip tomorrow: i'm apparently getting insecure that extranei hasn't been misogynist towards quartz specifically enough lately because i bring back the running gag about packing

Quartz grinned. It was going to be a fantastic day. Obsidian had packed this morning. Putting on his backpack, he went through Quartz's stuff and discarded a pair of sequined high heels. Where did she get these things? Obsidian came out and handed Quartz her bag. "Here you go, smuggler. And get yourself a ponytail or something, your hair is going to be in a terrible state later."

Why is he such a straight up freak all the time. MY Quartz would first degree murder knife chase for him and he would deserve it

Quartz to lupus all the time would be like "you never played first degree murder knife chase?" like penelope and azalea after them. some things never change <3

[29pageshomestuckeveryday]

Homestuck, page 2,494

This is ridiculous.

No, this is MY LIFE we're talking about here. Bullies. Wolves. Musty attics. Huge spiders. Did I mention the spiders? Let me tell you, I got HELLA spiders up in this... Fuck, this horn fell off. Dammit. Piece of shit. Wonder if there's any glue in here... oh screw it. Do you have any idea how much power I wield over you?? To what extent I can RUIN the shit you step in with that squeaky clean sunday loafer you use to stomp that bookmark and stamp that F5 key, day goddamn in and day fucking out??? Do you possess even the most infinitesimal kernel of cognizance for the degree to which I can make the shorn, shivering weasel that is the totem spirit representing your wretched fascination with this website squeal in heartrending remorse???? It would be so easy! I could snap my gray smudgy fingers RIGHT NOW, and make you read all the troll romance exposition segments all over again, BACK TO BACK TO BACK TO BACK TO BACK TO BACK. Oh, you don't think I'll do it????????

Author commentary: When Hivebent was being updated in real time, the deeper we got into it, the more I detected a certain amount of grumbling from the peanut gallery about the pacing of this arc, that maybe it was too much of a detour, slowing down the progress of the "real story." But the more you examine Homestuck, the more you realize the "real story" doesn't have a conventional meaning. Or, the "real story" is more of a self-understood projection of narrative idealism, around which revolve many orbital layers of farcical deconstruction. It's like the John Lennon quote: "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." My spin on that is: Homestuck is what happens while you're busy looking for the "real story." Regardless of any pacing reservations at the time, Hivebent now feels like it's regarded as sort of a sacred text among fans of the series. The lesson is that the real-time grumblings of fandom guttersnipes during the slow rollout of such content don't mean a damn thing, and they always seem to be wrong about everything. But it's not really a lesson, because I always knew that. The important thing was to recognize when the time was right to make these little power moves and reassert some dominance over the story. Lennon had his bullies too. Ultimately he got owned by one of them. He didn't have a long, magic dog to fight back with. He also didn't really have the guts to weaponize his work against his fans. If Lennon was a serious artist, he would have taken the worst song he ever made, expanded it to be an indulgent thirty-minute ballad, released it as a single, and gone on tour for a year playing only that song.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 328: Pandora’s Box of Discourse

Previously on BnHA: DEKU TOOK A BATH.

Today on BnHA: 

Also Naomasa grew a beard. Goddamn. 

please let this be a cool chapter that plays nice with my ADHD lol

(ETA: lol I feel guilty because a lot of people hated this chapter, but I’m just happy there was a lot of stuff to make fun of, and also that I have another week to work on my backlog of meta posts since the kids were MIA.)

around one month ago?? ah, okay, so we’re gonna find out what was in that Tartarus security file huh

I love that they just randomly set the place on fire

was it necessary to do this in order to escape? no. was it a good idea to set the island they were occupying on fire while they were in the midst of still occupying it? uh. was it cinematic as fuck? fuck yeah

wow it’s a pervert!!

that’s so great that the villains set loose this fine fellow who I’m sure is definitely not a serial rapist. truly the LoV is so noble and misunderstood. they’re just trying to free society from its chains people

oh my god??!

SHANKED!!! oh my god I cheered for Stain before I realized what I was doing. time to have an identity crisis I guess

so he’s all “hey what’s going on.” which, while a respectable question, is something I personally would have waited to ask until I had put a bit of distance between myself and the fiery murder island. but that’s just my personal preference

Stain you really are tenacious I’ll give you that

“what’s the point of escaping prison if you’re not gonna be smart about it” well shit. anyways yeah you’re dead right, society is in the process of collapsing and the outside world is in total chaos, good call there

oh shit

I mean it’s not like we really expecting anything otherwise, but still. fucking brutal. I feel like these guys’ fates were decided the minute that one guy called AFO “scum” back in chapter 94. AFO is unmatched at getting long-term revenge

??

ahh, was it the security footage??

fdsdfk he’s still alive??

and he’s immediately launching into an inappropriately theatrical monologue even as the darkness closes in on him fdlfksjdlk. you know, was it ever confirmed that the other guy back in chapter 297 was Seiji’s dad? I’m just saying

very impressed that he’s still coherent enough to weigh the pros and cons before making the decision to gamble on giving this info to Stain, who at the very least has his own moral code and isn’t allied with AFO. it was definitely still a risk, but as we now know it was also the right call

what a weird alliance. so Stain tells him that he’ll give it to a just person, and the guy is all,

okay for real though I’m gonna need someone to run a DNA test on this guy. maybe it was some kind of cuckold situation?? the other guy had the family resemblance, but this guy absolutely 100% raised Shishikura Seiji and you are not going to convince me otherwise

anyway, so Stain is all,

PRISON GUARD: “???? ??????? what the hell. what the fuck does that fucking mean. I’m dying here, jesus christ, whatever man fuck you”

(ETA: I kind of feel like this might have been Stain’s last appearance in the manga, given all the fanfare. there’s not really much else he can do for the story at this point, and he seems to have gotten all the character development Horikoshi was planning on giving him. so if this really is it, hasta la vista and good riddance I guess.)

DWLFDKSLDK MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE

(ETA: I feel like this is meant to be evocative of that Sermon on the Mount painting, but in a really fucked up way lol.)

if it were me stumbling upon this scene I would just shake my head and walk right back into the flaming building. not getting involved in that mess. sorry not sorry. I’ll take my chances with the fire, especially given that it’s half-assed neutered BnHA fire lol

blah blah blah and so he decided to pass the info on to All Might -- HOT DAMN, HOLY SHIT

NAOMASA HOLY SHIT. THE APOCALYPSE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, BOY

“I really like that facial scruff thing Aizawa’s got going on, I think I’m gonna get in on that” yes sir. “also thinking of ditching the tie in favor of the bulletproof vest look. also thinking of getting totally fucking jacked.” good lord. except I’m pretty sure that’s just body armor, but also I don’t care. anyway I should probably stop staring and actually read the fucking speech bubbles here lol

“All Might first handed this information over to Nao, and then went to see Deku, and then came back to Nao” thanks for that tidy little summary Horikoshi. we are capable of piecing events together in sequential order, I just want you to know that. but thank you

“so has Deku finally gotten a bath? also, sucks that Stain saved the day, but what are you gonna do” Nao I missed you so fucking much and didn’t even realize. how am I just now realizing that you are the perfect man

for a second I was gonna ask why Tartarus’s security systems would be cut off from the outside world, and then I remembered that’s a basic security control, and then I actually got impressed by how sensible that is. like, it’s been a while since I could genuinely say that the good guys (excluding class 1-A) did something smart. not that it helped them much in the end, but still

anyway so they’re talking about how AFO was able to coordinate the attack by communicating between his horcrux self on the outside and his ugly peanut-faced self on the inside

huh

okay you have my attention. I am taking notes here lol please continue

ah okay so he says that prior to Jakku, the transfer of information between him and his Vestige self was only one-way. but post-Jakku when Deku was in the hospital, he was able to tell what was happening inside the OFA Radical Lisa Frank Dead People Book Club Realm when he touched him. I feel like we established that before, actually. but he didn’t talk about how it actually felt, though

boy we already know this lol. yes AFO can talk with his horcrux self. and he can also communicate with his little bro in OFA too, let’s talk about that sometime why don’t we. what exactly does that imply, based on the rules we’ve established here

my god I cannot get over Naomasa and his fucking facial hair

no wonder All Might was in such a hurry to leave Deku and get back here

like I have no idea what this radio waves nonsense is but my god, people

that jawline. also so it’s a quirk, I see. except last I checked Deku didn’t have a radio waves quirk, so that doesn’t really explain his connection to AFO. but whatever, hopefully we’re at least getting closer to some kind of reveal here

(ETA: since I sometimes forget that other people’s lives don’t revolve around my theory posts, here are the two relevant links if you by chance want to know my thoughts about this.

Hagakure is still The U.A. Traitor™ regardless of whether Deku is passing information on to AFO through his psychic link, which he almost certainly is.

speaking of said psychic link, Deku is a horcrux.

just posting these now, because whenever trippy OFA stuff happens I tend to get an influx of theory asks. so hopefully this will be a bit of a time saver lol.)

-- wait, what

THAT’S what the recording was??!? holy SHIT. I genuinely was not expecting that. y’all wiretapped his fucking telepathy. fucking quirks, man. wild

AND THEY USED THAT POWER TO DETERMINE WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW, HUZZAH. GOOD SHOW

-- oh shit wait lol, except I forgot we’re not talking about 38 days from the present, we’re talking about 38 days from the date the conversation was recorded. heh. um

yeah that’s the face I would make too if All Fucking Might just casually told me we had eight days left until the end times

oh, pardon me. three fucking days

r.i.p. anyone who thought we were going to have another band arc sob. I sure hope Deku is enjoying that nap

(ETA: I realize people were hoping for a longer rest period here, but given that the man warned us all the way back in chapter 306 that we were entering the final act, you can’t really blame him too much when that turns out to be true. anyway but I do recognize that we’ve reached the point in the story where this kind of discourse is going to become a weekly occurrence, simply because there’s no possible way for Horikoshi’s actual endgame to line up perfectly with the variable headcanons of millions of fans, all of whom have wildly differing and in many cases contradictory expectations which can’t possibly all be fulfilled. anyway, so I’m already bracing myself for that lol. this coming year is going to be a wild ride.)

damn, U.A. out here looking like the motherfucking United Nations

-- is this U.A.?? I actually just realized, U.A. is four interconnected buildings, not two. wait holy shit is this Shiketsu?

wait holy SHIT

based on the overwhelmingly powerful vibes of bureaucratic incompetence, I’m thinking this really is the (future) U.N., or whatever organization it is that deals with international hero stuff

“just let them handle it themselves I’m sure they’ll be fine” yeah okay, thanks guys. appreciate it

wait oh shit did he say that it’s not just Japan?

soooo, what you’re telling me is that AFO is this close to bringing about the end of not just Japan, but the entire world, and you guys don’t think it’s a good idea to help the Japanese heroes stop him? so, genuine follow-up question: are you guys already planning your rich people exodus into space a la Wall-E, and that’s why you don’t give a fuck?? like, what??

omg international heroes

these guys are from World Hoodie Mission, right? is this Horikoshi’s way of reminding me to buy tickets

(ETA: and it worked too lol.)

WHO??? WHAT???

don’t tell me you’re introducing yet another badass new female character for me to fall in love with only to watch as you dismember them and/or blow them up, Horikoshi. I’m getting tired of playing this game my dude. don’t lie and tell me this time will be different. we’re not doing this again goddammit

noooooooooooooooooooo

god fucking dammit lmao. [sighs and rips the previous paragraph into shreds]

on behalf of Americans I apologize for our superheroes always being Like This

I also apologize because I love her already and I’m gonna be shameless about it. so fucking shameless you guys

is her fucking hair red white and blue. it is, isn’t it

this is the volume cliffhanger, 100% lol. it will take every ounce of Horikoshi’s willpower not to put her on the volume cover. he’ll have to settle for the spine or the inner cover this time because Deku VS his class 1-a superpals takes precedence. but it will be a close thing let me tell you

tbh it’s that smile that does it for me. she’s definitely All Might’s protege. get out there and show them how it’s done girl. and maybe call Salaam and BRD and see if you can’t convince them to play hooky from their governments as well. why not. world’s ending in three days you guys. “sorry, I’m busy this weekend” ain’t gonna cut it lol

so while I am not fully caught up with Vigilantes, I have read far enough to know that there’s an American hero named Captain Celebrity whose superpower from what I recall is being a humongous douchebag. and while I haven’t read far enough to know what happens to this guy, I can’t say I’m very disappointed to learn that he’s no longer the number one hero in the U.S. (actually, didn’t they kick him out and that’s why he moved to Japan to begin with?). anyway, so my thanks to Horikoshi for having a marginally higher opinion of Americans than Furuhashi, even though we have definitely not done anything to warrant said opinion lately, and you may have inadvertently opened the door to a pandora’s box of discourse lmao

(ETA: lol I went into the tags and they don’t disappoint. “why is she dressed like a flag” because she’s an homage to Captain America and Major Victory and literally every other character on this list. again, I apologize for fictional American superheroes being Like This. “oh boy another thicc waifu to make the fanboys happy” look, tumblr fandom never seems to have a problem thirsting over Dabi or Tomura or Aizawa or Nao, lol, I’m just saying. “where is Captain Celebrity” idk, probably murdered by the exploding bee cartel, let’s just be grateful for our good fortune and try not to Beetlejuice the man.)

anyway, so let’s see if Horikoshi’s recent character development with regards to making Mineta not terrible anymore will apply to other aspects of his writing as well. I know I was making light of discourse just now, but I do think the complaints about him introducing yet another new character at the 11th hour to be cannon fodder in the final battle are absolutely valid. and again, it wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t keep maiming/killing off his female characters one by one instead of developing them and letting them kick ass long-term. but that said, I will never complain about Horikoshi adding another female character to the series, regardless of how clumsy the attempt may be. go ahead and pander away, just give us more girl power lol

anyway so we’ll see how it goes, but I think I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself hope once again, even though I’m probably gonna regret it lol. it is what it is. she is standing on an airplane just chilling for fuck’s sake. I’m only human. anyway fingers crossed

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Sept 2021 Wk 5

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Don’t Say No Ep 9 (Line) - It’s my corny af hurt/comfort soap opera that I watch at 1.5x and skip all the sex scenes and Fiat crying, but I like it that way, so there. Yes I am one of those people who only eats the outside of the peanut M&Ms, why do you ask? Episode recaps here. 

Bite Me Ep 5 (Viu & Viki) - sometimes I feel like this show is skipping all the important bits, or having them occur off screen intentionally, like some ancient Greek play. Still, the depth of the feeling understood between the two leads is clearly transferred to us despite that. Are they dating? Sure seems that way. Without anything being actually said about it. It’s oddly magical. I talked a bit about the north/south divide and food as a love language with regards to kao soi in this post. 

7 Project Ep 5 The Breakup Zone (iQiYi & YouTube) - another het installment, so I skipped it. Nash. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Peach of Time Ep 10 fin - A Korean BL (maybe not BL tho) featuring Thai talent that really went beyond a lot of tropes into interesting territory and allegory in a way only Korea does. I hope we get more collabs like this, perhaps happier than this one next time? RECOMMENDED only if you are prepared for The Sad. Because it is quite sad.  

x Friend or Lover (YouTube) Ep 6 - still waiting on the final of this Taiwanese indie series.  

Love is Science? (BL sub plot on Viki) Ep 14 (aired ep 15) - Taiwanese drama finally got subbed yesterday, so those of us who are waiting seem to be on a week’s delay. The BL couple actually has the most interesting story arc and the most unusual character growth. I’m enjoying how unpredictable these two are. Honestly, they could have gotten their own series with this much story - and now I really want that for after the baby comes. I’m a little sad we didn’t get the coming out in the skate park sequence (LOOK I love coming out drama, especially with sporty friends, it’s a THING), but I also get why the writers are doing what they are with these boys. And the actors sure can handle it. Taiwan at it’s finest.  

Love Is the series (YouTube) Ep 5 - continues to be fine for a V-BL but not all that actually good. 

See You After Quarantine? (Viki) Ep 6, 7 - Taiwanese gameboys with Japanese talent stuck in, what more could we ask? AND THEN they gave us some *thirsty boi* action, great kisses, and charmed the pants off... well... everyone. Taiwan, we don’t deserve you. Honestly, you spoil us. Turns out Aaron Lai is the best wingman any gay Japanese man in quarantine could ask for. Everyone should be watching this. It’s utterly charming. 

The Tasty Florida (Viki) Ep 3 & 4 - this Korean BL so fucking cute. Look it’s formless and too short but simultaneously aching and kinda special-sweet. But Korea has got to settle into something a bit longer for their BL for everyone’s sake. It’s time. Light On Me proved it was possible. I’m not asking for much, just 15 min+ of fresh content with at least a 10 ep arc. 

In Case You Missed It

Someone dropped K-BL movie cut of 2015′s The Lover series onto YouTube. The series was about 4 different couples all living in the same apartment complex, one of the 4 was a BL plot about a sunshine sweetie Japanese tourist who ends up roommates with a hot shy tsundere Korean boy. It’s 1.5 hours, proving Korea and stretch its BL when it wants to. 

Read more about it here. 

GOSSIP!

Rumors of OhmFluke to star in new Thai BL Oh! My Sunshine Night. It’s from Newsinfinity Entertainment who announced the casting and showed the couple in workshops. This is this (small) production house’s first BL and they aim to “appeal to to general audiences* with a “broader view of BL that everyone will watch.” Which is code for LOW heat, light gay, soft boys. If this happens I think we can expect this to be Thailand doing Korean-style BL. 

* GENERAL AUDIENCE? Let’s be clear no piece of media will EVER appeal to everyone. Here is the USA “general audience” is code for “families with socially conservative values and children who are still minors” AKA what used to be prime time TV watchers AKA suburbia. 

 The concept is analytically old fashioned and so fractured at this juncture (socially economically spatially politically) that “general audience” is actually impossible to target and it doesn’t really exist. But try telling that to the publicity department. 

We also call this the “Disney live action demo.” (Think Pirates of the Caribbean.) I occasionally refer to them as “the Simpsons.” And they’re about as realistic. All that to say I am VERY suspicious of Oh! My Sunshine Night‘s production house. 

To My Star does seem to be getting a second season, same director, same mains. Korea is much better about executing on its promises than Thailand, but until I see proof of filming or an honest trailer, my favorite boys are staying in the gossip section. I don’t wanna get my hopes up. (Honestly now, how many of you also want an alt reality with these two as a couple but Kim Kang Min playing his long suffering cardiologist intern character from Hospital Playlist? Just me?) 

I reported on Unforgotten Night a while ago. It seems to have been fully cast now, I still think the publicity stills make it look like a joke. But with this line-up I guess it’s even more of an alt answer to KinnPorsche. 

You know that thing that happens in media when suddenly we get multiples of the same style of movie or show at once? It’s now happening with BL. Love triangles. Restaurants. And now mafia. 

Cutie Pie (our arranged marriage Thai BL staring Zee) dropped some wardrobe fitting photo ops. Also... fancy pants sexy suits that fit, so that’s exciting. 

Starting Soon

My Mate Match from Starhunter should be starting on Line TV next Saturday. Usually, Line has subs relatively quickly and is available internationally. However the fact that the trailer is not subbed and the show is not listed on Line’s site has me nervous. No idea on length of run either. 

Starhunter studio doesn’t have a great track record in general for narrative arcs and this one is not based on a y-novel so could get waffly. This is a roommates love triangle BL about a boy who is looking for one roommate and ends up with two vying for his home and his heart. Stars Jet as the uke lead which I’m pretty happy about as he’s got great comedic timing and is accustomed to BL. He’s opposite two friends/co-actors from Gen Y and other projects, so we know they’re comfortable with each other. They could do great things... if they get a decent script. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International subs accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

This week’s best moment?

[spockandawe]

Well, this is interesting! So, in that post yesterday, there was one line that really baffled me, a thing about people brushing off a character as an asshole “because he shows literally zero growth.” I kind of set that aside because it was such a weird non-sequitur, and guessed that it was just someone’s sentences not quite keeping up with their train of thought, which has happened to me many times. Apparently I was wrong! I already spent long enough on that one post, I’m tired of talking about that, but this is new and interesting. 

Okay. I kind of wanted to see if I could talk about this purely in terms of abstracts and not characters, but I don’t think it’ll work. It would be frustrating to write and confusing to read. It’s about Jiang Cheng. Right up front: This isn’t about whether or not he’s an abuser. Frankly, I don’t think it’s relevant. This also isn’t about telling people they should like him. I don't care whether anyone else likes him or not. But I do like him, and I am always fascinated by dissecting the reasons that people disagree with me. And the process of Telling Stories is my oldest hyperfixation I remember, which will become relevant in a minute.

I thought I had a good grasp on this one, you know? Jiang Cheng makes it pretty obvious why people would dislike Jiang Cheng. But then the posts I keep stumbling over were making weird points, culminating in that “literally zero growth” line.

So! What happened is that someone wrote up a post about how Jiang Cheng’s character arc isn’t an arc, it’s stagnation. It’s a pretty interesting read, and I broadly agree with the larger point! The points where I would quibble are like... the idea that it’s absolute stagnation, as opposed to very subtle shifts that still make a material difference. But still, cool! The post was also offered up as a reason why OP was uninterested in writing any more Jiang Cheng meta, which I totally get. I’m not tired of him yet, but I definitely understand why someone who isn’t a fan of his would get tired about writing about a character with a very static arc. Okay!

Now, internet forensics are hard. I desperately wish I had more information about this evolution, because I find this stuff fascinating, but I have no good way to find things said in untagged posts, reblogs, or private/external venues. But as far as I can tell, that “literally zero growth” wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, it’s become fashionable for people to say that Jiang Cheng is an abusive asshole (that it’s fucked up to like) because he doesn’t have a character arc.

Asshole? Yes. Abusive? This post still isn’t about that. This is about it being fucked up to like this character because he did bad things and had a static character arc.

At first, that point of view was still deeply confusing to me. But I think I figured out the idea at the core of it, and now I’m only baffled. I’m not super interested in confirming this directly, because the people making the most noise about this have not inspired confidence in their ability to hold a civil conversation and I’m a socially anxious binch, but I think the idea is: ‘This character did Bad Things, and then did not improve himself.’

Which is alarmingly adjacent to that old favorite standard of ‘This piece of fiction is glorifying Bad Thing.’ I haven’t seen anyone accusing mxtx of something something jiang cheng, only the people who read/watched/heard the story and became invested in the Jiang Cheng character, but things kind of add up, you know?

Like I said, I don’t want to arbitrate anyone’s right to like/dislike Jiang Cheng. That’s such a fucking waste of time. But this is fascinating to me, because it’s like..... so obviously new and sudden, with such a clear originating point. I can’t speak to the Chinese fans, obviously, but exiledrebels started translating in... what, 2017? And only now, in 2021, do people start putting forth Jiang Cheng’s flat character arc as a “reason” that he’s bad? I’m not going to argue if he pings you in the abuse place, I’m not a dick. I’m not going to argue if you just dislike his vibes. I’m just over here on my blog and in the tag enjoying myself, feel free to detour around me. But oh my god, it’s so silly to try to tell other people that they shouldn’t like him because he has a static character arc.

I want to talk about stories. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to say, because it’s impossible to make broad, sweeping statements, because there are stories about change, there are stories about lack of change, there are all kinds of media that can be used to tell stories, and standards for how stories are told and what they emphasize vary across cultures and over time. But I think that what I can say is that telling a story requires... compromise. It requires streamlining. Trying to capture all the detail of life would slow down most stories to an unbearable degree. Consider organically telling someone ‘I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ versus the computer science exercise of having students describe, step by step, how to make one (spread peanut butter? but you never said you opened the lid)

Hell, I’ve got an example in mdzs itself. The largely-faceless masses of the common people. If someone asks you to think about it critically like, yes, obviously these are people, living their own lives, with their own desires, sometimes suffering and dying in the wake of the novel plot. But does the story give weight to those deaths? Or does it just gloss by? Yes, it references their suffering occasionally, but it is not the focus, and it would slow the story unbearably to give equal weight to each dead person mentioned. 

Does Wei Wuxian’s massacre get given the same slow, careful consideration as Su She’s, or Jin Guangyao’s? No, because taking the time to weigh our protagonist with ‘well, this one was a mother, and her youngest son had just started walking, but now he’s going to grow up without remembering her face. that one only became an adult a few months ago, he still hasn’t been on many night-hunts yet, but he finds it so rewarding to protect the common people. oh, and this one had just gotten engaged, but don’t worry, his fiancee won’t mourn him, because she died here as well.’ And continuing on that way to some large number under 3000? No! Unless your goal is to make the reader feel bad for cheering for a morally grey hero, that would be a bad authorial decision! The book doesn’t ignore the issue, it comes up, Wei Wuxian gets called out about all the deaths he’s responsible for, but that’s not the same as them being given equal emotional weight to one (1) secondary character, and I don’t love this new thing where people are pretending that’s equivalent.

When Wei Wuxian brutally kills every person at the Wen supervisory office, are you like ‘holy shit... so many grieving families D:’ or are you somewhere between vindicated satisfaction and an ‘ooh, yikes’ wince? Odds are good you’re somewhere in the satisfaction/wince camp, because that’s what the story sets you up to feel, because the story has to emphasize its priorities (priorities vary, but ‘plot’ and ‘protagonist’ are common ones, especially for a casual novel read like this)

Now, characters. If you want to write a story with a sweeping, epic scale, or if you want to tightly constrain the number of people your story is about, I guess it’s possible to give everyone involved a meaningful character arc. Now.... is it always necessary? Is it always possible? Does it always make sense? No, of course not. If you want to do that, you have to devote real estate to it, and depending on the story you want to tell, it could very possibly be a distraction from your main point, like the idea of mxtx tenderly eulogizing every single character who dies even incidentally. Lan Qiren doesn’t get a loving examination of his feelings re: his nephews and wei wuxian and political turnover in the cultivation world because it’s not relevant, and also, because his position is pretty static until right near the end of the story. Lan Xichen is arguably one of the most static characters within the book, he seems like the same nice young between Gusu and the present, right up until... just before the end of the story.

You may see where I’m heading with this.

Like, just imagine trying to demand that every important character needs to go through a major life change before the end of your book or else it didn’t count. This just in, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg go through multiple novels without experiencing radical shifts in who they are, stop liking them immediately. I do get that the idea is that Jiang Cheng was a ~bad person~ who didn’t change, but asdgfsd I thought we were over the handwringing over people being allowed to like ““bad”” fictional characters. The man isn’t even a canonical serial killer, he’s not my most problematic fave even within this novel.

And here is where it’s a little more relevant that I would quibble with that original post about Jiang Cheng’s arc. He’s consistently a mean girl, but he goes from stressed, sharp-edged teenager, to grief-stricken, almost-destroyed teen, to grim, cold young adult (and then detours into grim, cold, and grief-stricken until grief dulls with time). He does become an attentive uncle tho. He..... doesn’t experience a radical change in his sense of self, which... it’s...... not all that strange for an adult. And bam, then he DOES experience a radical change, but the needs of the plot dictate that it’s right near the end. And he’s not the focus of the story, baby, wangxian is. He has the last few lines of the story, which nicely communicate his changes to me, but also asdfafas we’re out of story. He was never the main character, it’s not surprising we don’t linger! The extras aren’t beholden to the needs of plot, but they’re also about whatever mxtx wanted to write, and I guess she didn’t feel like writing about Jiang Cheng ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But also. Taking a step backward. Stable characters can fill a perfectly logical place in a story. Like, look at Leia Organa. I’m not saying she has no arc, but I am saying that she’s a solid point of reference as Luke is becoming a jedi and Han is adjusting his perspective. I wouldn’t call her stagnant, the vibes are wrong, but she also isn’t miserable in her sadness swamp, the way Jiang Cheng is.

Or, hell, look at tgcf. The stagnant, frozen nature of the big bad is a central feature of the story. The bwx of now is the bwx of 800 years ago is the bwx of 1500+ years ago. This is not the place for a meta on how that was bad for those around him and for him himself, but I have Thoughts about how being defeated at the end is both a thing that hurts him and relieves him. Mei Nianqing is a sympathetic character who’s also pretty darn static. Does Ling Wen have a character arc, or do we just learn more about who she already is and what her priorities always were? I’m going to cut myself off here, but a character’s delta between the beginning of a story and the end of a story is a reasonable way to judge how interesting writing character meta is, and is a very silly metric to judge their worth, and even if I guessed at what the basic logic is, for this character, I am still baffled that it’s being put forth as a real talking point.

(also, has it jumped ship to any other characters yet? have people started applying it in other fandoms as well? please let me know if this is the case, I am wildly curious)

(no, but really, if anyone is arguing that bwx is gross specifically because he had centuries to self-reflect and didn’t fix himself, i am desperate to know)

And finally. The thing I thought was most self-evident. Did I post about this sometime recently? If a non-central character experiences a life-altering paradigm shift right near the end of the story (without it being lingered over, because non-central character), oh my god. As a fic writer? IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE. This is the most fertile possible ground. If I want to write post-canon canon-compliant material, adsgasfasd that’s where I’m going to be looking. Okay, yeah, the main couple is happy, that’s good. Who isn’t happy, and what can I do about that? Happy families are all alike, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, etc.

It’s not everyone’s favorite playground, but come on, these are not uncommon feelings. And frankly, it’s starting to feel a little disingenuous when people act like fan authors pick out the most blameless angel from the cast and lavish good things upon them. I’m not the only one who goes looking for a good dumpster fire and says I Live Here Now. If I write post-canon tgcf fic, it’s very likely to focus on beef and/or leaf. I have written more than one au focusing on tianlang-jun.

And, hilariously. If the problem with Jiang Cheng. Is that he is a toxic man fictional character who failed to grow on his own, and is either unsafe or unhealthy to be around. If the problem is that he did not experience a character arc. If these people would be totally fine with other people liking him, if he improved himself as a person. And then, if authors want to put in the (free! time-consuming!) work of writing that character development themselves. You would think that they would be lauded for putting the character through healthier sorts of personal growth than he experienced in canon. Instead, I am still here writing this because first, I was bothered by these authors being named as “freaks” who are obsessed with their ‘uwu precious tsundere baby’ with a “love language of violence,” and then I was graciously informed that people hate Jiang Cheng because he experiences no character growth.

[taketheringtolohac]

i’ve been working on the most self indulgent au for about a week now and I thought i’d share my thoughts. now presenting... my ace attorney blaseball au! including teams, positions, modifications and more about all the ace attorney characters i could think of and how they would play blaseball. you can also find it on ao3 here, but ive included all the information i have below the cut!

Blase Attorney (Blaseball Ace Attorney AU)

Phoenix- 

Team: Yellowstone Magic

Position: Batter

Modifications: Seeker

Details: one of the first replacements in the game, he was originally just a blaseball fan who was following around miles edgeworth his childhood friend to his games (disguised as him going to see Larry play) and sort of wished that he could play so he could get closer to miles and is at a magic/steaks game that miles is pitching when someone gets incinerated and suddenly he’s on the field in a jersey with a glove and that really messes him up, he's a pretty good player not a star player but definitely a solid one, gets the seeker mod in the season 19 tarot reading

Notable Forbidden Knowledge:  REALLY high martyrdom

Maya

Team: Yellowstone Magic

Position: Batter

Modifications: Haunted

Details: she replaced Mia when she was incinerated and isn’t a season 1 player but has been here so long that it FEELS like she is, isn’t great at the game and has like really bad forbidden knowledge stats but she occasionally hits a surprise dinger and the fans love her so they infuse her and she becomes a serviceable batter, is constantly filled with guilt and emotions about being the person who replaced her sister she gets the haunted mod in an election

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high base thirst, really good divinity that only gets better after her infuse

Edgeworth- 

Team: Dallas Steaks

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: season one player who didn’t really want to join blaseball but he took it in stride and he wasn’t very good at first but he got a blessing that MADE him good and he’s miraculously been on the team the whole time, originally placed in good league because Fran was in Evil and von Karma wanted them to dominate the game and become the best in their respective leagues, still one of the best players in the game, his dad still dies somehow, refuses to “buy into” the dad bit from the steaks and insists that he was just placed here

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: EXCEPTIONAL ruthlessness (one of the highest in the game), good other stats as well, just a really solid PITCHING statline, his other stuff isn’t good

Franziska- 

Team: Hades Tigers

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Friend of Crows

Details: season one player who fans LOVE even though she hates everything about the game and the circumstances in which she’s here, she’s a naturally good player but she lets up a lot of home runs, she receives the friend of crows modifier in season 10 much to her dismay, ALMOST pitched a perfect season and then absolutely RUINED it in the last game and it crushed her

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: higher highs than miles but also lower lows, in particular her overpowerment isn’t very good, she is also a more well rounded player and would also be a fine batter (solid thwack)

Gumshoe-

Team: Originally on the LA Unlimited Tacos, then feedbacked to the San Fransisco Lovers

Position: Batter

Modifications: Siphon, Attractor

Details: season one player that is beloved by the fans and he’s decent at the game but he always tries to steal bases but he is so bad at it, he’s the teams siphon but he NEVER drinks blood except to draw a walk, he ends up getting redacted because of consumer attacks and is probably one of the first to do so despite him having QUITE a bit of soul, he becomes Wyatt Gumshoe in the Wyatt Masoning

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: GREAT thwackability, bad everything else which makes for a really interesting player to say the least

Athena- 

Team: Miami Dale

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: POWERFUL ARMS also she is a replacement player she probably becomes a replacement after Simon does and she got into blaseball because of that cute flowers pitcher and now she’s here but she LOVES Miami and she LOVES being bad at the game, she leans really hard into the neon aesthetic

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: good unthwackability and ok ruthlessness, shakespeareanism is her highest stat, would also be a great batter and has really good thwackability and divinity, GREAT vibes

Apollo- 

Team: Mexico City Wild Wings

Position: Batter

Modifications: None

Details: founding member of the wings legal team who’s another replacement player that FEELS like he’s a season 1 player, he isn’t very good in general but REALLY good for the wings and is probably the mvp at some point but like he’s a really inconsistent hitter but when he DOES hit its POWERFUL and he gets a lot of RBI’s 

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: SHOCKINGLY good musclitude and ground friction, GOD awful moxie

Larry- 

Team: Dallas Steaks

Position: Batter

Modifications: None

Details: season one player who is like the teams designated player we beat up on because they’re awful but we love them, gets shadowed in the expansion era because he just wasn’t good anymore and he REFUSED to leave, he is the definition of “YOU CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS,” would always party but his forbidden knowledge is TRASH so it was never worth anything because he’s top ten in the league for career strikeouts

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: REALLY HIGH PATHETICISM HOLY SHIT but good ground friction and like, ok musclitude

Ema- 

Team: Kansas City Breath Mints

Position: Batter

Modifications: Fire Eater

Details: replaced the first player incinerated on the team so she has a lot of fans because she’s been here a while but like also her career is forever impacted by the fact that people mourned so deeply before really appreciating her and a lot of fans can never really love her in the same way, but she has fire eater now and WILL cut a bitch down to size, she’s also definitely been attacked by consumers though, she also parties a LOT

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: good defender, high omniscience and tenaciousness

Lang- 

Team: Houston Spies

Position: Batter

Modifications: Maximalist, Siphon

Details: replaced a SUPER popular player who was REALLY good at the game and struggled with a lot of the implications of their legacy but he ALSO became really good and a really iconic player to the team and eventually became a fan favorite, LITERALLY cannot stop freaking drinking blood hes so fucking massive now holy shit but like only his baserunning

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: PHENOMENAL baserunning just in general but his base thirst is low so he doesn’t actually steal that much, SUPER high moxie and musclitude

Kristoph-

Team: Baltimore Crabs

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Returned, Debt

Details: season 1 player who was a really aggressively middling player who had deceptively high stars and they could never get rid of him until he finally got incinerated in late season 6/early season 7 but he gets necromancy-d on accident and no one wanted this now he just haunts the league, he joined blaseball to get notoriety and some level of fame and convinced Klavier to join him

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high coldness and ok ruthlessness, unthwackability is fine, shakespeareanism is also good

Klavier- 

Team: Originally on the Crabs, but feedbacked to the Seattle Garages

Position: Batter

Modifications: Spicy

Details: he signed up when Kristoph did. because he said that this would be something good to do as brothers and they even signed to the same team, carcinization really freaked him out but he was a season 1 crab and no one knew what would happen, he Feedbacked in like season 6 and kris got incinerated really shortly after he feedbacked which messed him up, he loves the garages vibes WAY more than he liked the crabs

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high moxie and indulgence

Kay- 

Team: Charleston Shoe Thieves

Position: Batter

Modifications: Flippers

Details: shoe thieves, batter, she was originally a shadows player and just sat there doing great thief things until she got called up for having very sneaky good stats (rod.net style) where she singles a lot and then just steals her way to third/home, voted to trust her in season 11 and now she has cool flippers

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: really high basethirst and laserlikeness, also very high anticapitalism, good thwack subpar musclitude

Sebastian- 

Team: New York Millennials, possible feedback to the Thieves?

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: his dad was a famous blaseball player before the ILB so he signed him up to play and didn’t get on the roster until maybe like season 9, really dramatic arc where he starts out really bad but slowly through incremental stat increases becomes pretty ok but then has a devastating allergic reaction and ends up having to be shadowed because he’s just unsaveable at this point, but still a big fan fave and people still talk about them, he would’ve been a pretty ok batter with really high defense but peanut destroyed that too

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: high highs and low lows and vibes are just… there

Juniper-

Team: Boston Flowers

Position: Originally a batter, but reverbs into Pitching

Modifications: None

Details: season 1 player who is really popular amongst the fans but isn’t well known outside of the fanbase she joined blaseball because she didn’t really have a choice and she was just working at the garden, she wasn’t a great batter but she’s a shockingly good pitcher, she had partied so much that she is now just undeniably good solely because she has partied THAT much

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: SHOCKINGLY good ruthlessness, its her only good stat though until parties make her good

Simon- 

Team: Chicago Firefighters

Position: Batter

Modifications: Ego+

Details: another late season replacement that was made to be a edgelord with really good stat set up and he’s a super consistent batter who just also gets walked a lot and has a LOT of thirsty fans, REALLY good at dunking, one of the best idols for solo seeds but ONLY for a SINGLE season because he just underperforms his stars for NO reason and its infuriating, joined because he didn’t want athena to get recruited but she followed him anyways to find out what the hell happened to him and why he just vanished

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: HIGH musc/thwack/martyr with really low patheticism, absolutely ATROCIOUS vibes

Godot- 

Team: Hellmouth Sunbeams, roams to the Tokyo Lift and then to the Canada Moist Talkers

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Roamin’

Details: a season 1 player who would be a MUCH better batter but REFUSES to leave the rotation with deceptively high stars and one of the first players to get roamin’ and actually becomes good because of it infuriating LITERALLY everyone

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: have you seen bright zim? Yeah its just that. He has sixteen fingers for no reason

Trucy- 

Team: Originally a Philadelphia Pies player, but feedbacks to the Yellowstone Magic

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: Phoenix becomes her dad after she feedbacks, later season replacement probably surrounding the s7 instabilities and beanings and she got REALLY popular REALLY fast with the pies fans and over siesta but then she gets traded like the Monday after and it breaks the fans hearts, she’s not very good but she gets alternated into BEING good

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: moxie queen! Also chasiness and continuation, as well as good musclitude and vibes

Nahyuta-

Team: Originally on the Beams, but feedbacks to the Hawai’i Fridays

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: Attractor

Details: expansion era player who replaced an absolutely GARBAGE player so the fans are DELIGHTED by him, lets up a lot of walks but has shockingly pitched a no hitter despite only being here since season 13, was infused because of his good forbidden knowledge stats, still gets faxed out of the game because he has games where he just lets up a RIDICULOUS amount of runs, actually fit in really well with the Fridays, was observed (by Kristoph?) and then got redacted 

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: uncle plasma… 2! Also REALLY big vibes range

Justine Courtney-

Team: New York Millennials, traded to the Breckenridge Jazz Hands

Position: Pitcher

Modifications: None

Details: joined the team before Sebastian probably around season 5, was pretty average at pitching but ate a peanut and had a yummy reaction which made her slightly above average but subpar ruthlessness made her still not great, traded away to the Jazz Hands after Sebastian was shadowed, really polarizing for fans there was a lot of fighting about whether or not to trade her from fans

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: ok ruthlessness

Mia-

Team: Yellowstone Magic

Position: Batter

Modifications: None

Details: was the season 1 stand out batter for the magic, she was a REALLY good season 1 player that fans STILL talk about even though she’s been dead since season 3, she was the person who was standing next to Phoenix when he appeared on the field and caught the ball that was flying towards him before it hit him in the face and she took it upon himself to get him acclimated to the game, she thought of him as a kid brother, she tried to keep Maya away from blaseball but couldn’t stop her from watching on TV, she originally joined to get away from the Fey clan and to try and do something with her life and also possibly find out what happened to her mother and she was promised social power and unlimited access to information

Notable Forbidden Knowledge: really solid statline for someone who never saw any improvements

Phoenix and Miles get together around season 6, right before the Jaylen stuff, then break up because they were both having a lot of emotions about the whole necromancy business and Miles was always on the idol board and there was a lot of uncertainty in their lives. I think a necromancy of Kristoph probably happens in the Expansion Era and he tries to get revenge on Phoenix for god knows what, and Miles ends up getting close with him again after a whole Grand Siesta of just being really emotionally charged friends and finally get together AGAIN in season 13 after a consumer attacks Phoenix, but this time they STAY together and probably get married because they're just so scared of losing each other.

 Kay gets to fight god in season 9, no this probably wouldn't have been possible if she was a shadows player originally but uwu <3

Kay and Miles get to know each other because she tried to steal Miles shoes, but he caught her. He offered to make her dinner and they just had a good time, Kay hadn’t really been shown that kind of kindness in a WHILE and she... missed that sort of father figure in her life... so she just keeps trying to steal things from Miles and getting caught until he finally tells her that she can just... come over through the front door. He will never say that she is his daughter out loud, but the collective dadconcious Knows, and tells him that they are proud of him.

 Maya and Franziska are rivals. They hate each other. When Maya gets 0 no it only makes it worse because it "ruins" Franziska's perfection as a pitcher and forces her to throw balls. They get to know each other over these pitch offs and start to realize that they actually aren't that different. Gay rights. They kiss. They have a great time over the Grand Siesta and make fun of their brothers, but they both have emergency bags in case the other one dies.

 Dahlia Hawthrone would never get involved in Blaseball and everything she does is outside of the game but if she was she'd be on the Boston Flowers and she would be her team's Pudge. A god awful player who on occasion actually does something good and half the fans love her because of her character and half the fans hate her for the same reason and also she sucks at the game.

 Most of them also still have their law degrees and also keep some semblance of what they do in the actual ace attorney games, except Ema who has of course factually failed the bar exam by nature of being on The Breath Mints.

[darling-has-a-smol-heart]

🌻 tell me whatever you'd like, i would love to listen <33

THANK YOU HACE I LOVE YOU SM--

After ages of thinking, i decided i want to nerd about Bojack horseman.

You don't need to read all of this essay, just the chance to actually PUT these thoughts somewhere makes me happy <3

*rubs hands*

OK SO

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTER ARCS

I am trash at wording so don't be surprised if this is poorly redacted.

(A LOTTA SPOILERS AHEAD)

Bojack is by far the most relatable character in the show, for me at least. It's funny how this series teached me how to make relatability via struggles. I've never seen such an accurate representation of depression, and some episodes hit real close to home- for example, the "Stupid piece of sh-t" monologue at the beginning of the episode of the same name. They don't dramatize it, like OTHER SHOWS DO- (Yes 13ReasonsWhy I'm looking at you), and paint an accurate picture of how this illness holds Bojack back from being the better person he wants to be. His relationship with his mom was... Interesting to say the least.

The old Sugarman Place episode was haunting. Showing how the abuse from Beatrice's father shaped her into the person she ended up being. And how the cycle of abuse painfully repeats for generations. Her brother's death, her having to deal with his mother's grief and depression alone since her asshole dad didn't do sh-t to help the family move on after Crackerjack's death, and her mother's eventual and tragic lobotomy.

Just,,, Jesus this show.

Another thing I love about it, is how it made me understand that it was okay to emphasize with Beatrice, but one needed to understand that it didn't justify all the horrible abuse SHE put on Bojack, forever hammering in his head the "Don't stop dancing" motto.

Now, back to Bojack cuz BOY this is going to be a long essay.

The moment i knew this show was special was in season 2's "Escape from LA" another 'fuck-your-mind-up-and-move-on' episode. The things Bojack did were so terrible that- I mean i couldn't believe it. I was thinking all along "Nah, he wouldn't do it, he's the protagonist, he can't be THAT bad-"

AND THEM BOOM.

The mf almost sleeps with a 17-year-old and the show slaps you in the face with the realization that THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED-

Something that makes me laugh are the consequences, not because they're stupid or anything like that. But were painfully accurate.

I think my mind was as anxious as Bojack's. Once the ACTUAL truth about his involvement in Sarah Lynn's death, and the cycles of abuse of power in his relationships came to the public eye, came what I expected: people actively shutting him out, insulting him, giving him those horrid judging looks,,, urgh- i felt that. (That second interview that revealed everything could have gone better, but it also could have gone worse. They didn't even explore the Escape from LA incident, or Gina's strangling in Bojack's opioid lash out.)

But yeah, once after the events of The view from halfway down (THAT I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO COVER CUZ OH GOD I WON'T FINISH) things start,,, looking up? Sure, Bojack gets arrested for trespassing (even though he affirms that he thinks it was for a but if everything) and he spends a good time there with the other inmates, they participate in plays, and even Bojack himself admits that he would go as a volunteer once he was out of jail.

I thought the consequences were going to be WAY worse, but when you look back at it you go: "Huh, well that wasn't that bad-"

Now, the final episode.

I LOVE the relationship between BJ and Mr. Peanut butter. The lad finally decides to dedicate time to himself and to not to worry about his marriages. You just gotta love this dog.

Then, Princess Caroline.

I LOVE HER OK?

Her entire character arc about being a mother and finally letting go of his codependency on Bojack was magical.

Seeing the roots of her impulsive "i have to take care of everything" attitude through the 6 seasons allowed me to see her grow, change. Seeing her triumph and fail (very painfully sometimes, man).

In the final scene with her it's so wonderful to see Bojack cheering on her, and Princess Caroline openly admitting she won't work with him anymore. And both just, dancing peacefully to the vals, accepting that their relationship is over with such big smiles... *Sobs*

God. This. SHOW.

And now, good boy Todd.

I kind of relate to him too, and it gives me hope to see him being so independent after everything.

After Bojack ruined his Rock Opera so he wouldn't leave, after he also rescued him from that Improv cult, after all of the good, and ALSO the bad. He leaves.

He goes to make his new life, with his girlfriend, in a new apartment, and now in a good relationship with his mom. It's so wholesome I love Todd sm-

And even after actively pushing back from Bojack, he's still there to support him and cheer him up, even backing off so he doesn't get pulled into that again.

His words in his final scene always stuck with me "It was nice while it lasted right?"

Perfect.

And now,,,, Diane.

Holy cow where do I even start.

I do agree with most fans about how she wasn't "as good" in the first season, and how that changed in season 6, where we see her in a more domestic environment.

Now, I always loved Diane. I emphasized a lot with her struggles of being a writer (those episodes made ma laugh), not appreciating the little things we have, and wanting to do great things but- not- quite reaching it.

I always found interesting how she never let go of Bojack until it was "too late"

They always brought up the worse in each other, two people with the same unhealthy coping mechanisms isn't exactly a good combination.

I teared up when she moved out with Guy and actually learned to trust the feeling of safety, after a whole life of being used to abuse, that was everything that made sense to her. But it didn't have to stay like that. It was hard for her to start taking her antidepressants again but she did and she got better! (Shame Bojack pushed her into breaking point-)

The last scene, of her, of Bojack, of the entire series, I always rewatch "Nice while it lasted" for this scene only.

She confronts him on how he called her before he almost drowned in a pool. She thought he was dead, she thought it was her fault for not saving him. But as Bojack said "It was never her job". But he always made her feel like it was.

Oof... You can't actually fix that, can you?

Diane's "You can be grateful for the people around you, even if they weren't meant to be in your life forever" hit me like a truck. It actually helped me to learn to cut ties, that it was okay to be grateful, to not forgive horrible things, to move on and wish the other person the very best.

And then they sit, staring at the night sky, Catherine Feeny's Mr. Blue starts playing.

And I am bawling my eyes out.

That moment of silence, when there's nothing to say, when you both understand that this is it, and there's nothing else to do than to admire the night.

God. THIS. SHOWWWW,,,,

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And lastly, thank you so much for this opportunity Jace, i love you so much <3

This series has helped me a lot (like you have <33) and I'm just so happy to share my nerdiness of this show <3

[discotreque]

LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGG​TGGGTGQER;​LBHAOIBVNV;​OAPBIJNVagr;h;​oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!

[autumnblogs]

Day 1: A Young Man Stands In His Bedroom

I don't expect Day 1 to be too eventful, but I'm also pretty wordy.

https://homestuck.com/story/3

Homestuck has this sort of weird relationship with the idea of "Started just now, but always was that way" that I think probably is pretty important to the way it tackles cultural narratives overall. Growing up, cultural narratives have a huge effect on our day to day lives, but we're not really cognizant of them until they are right up in our faces. That's my thesis, by the way, or at least one of them. Homestuck is a story about stories. That's not the only thing that Homestuck is about, and it might not even be the most important thing it's about, but that is one of the things that it's about.

Or maybe I'm full of horseshit. Wouldn't be the first time. More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/4

I like Homestuck’s character intros. They’re cute. Instead of actually characterizing these characters much, they have a pretty strong tendency to sort of create the background radiation of the comic. Like, I don’t think that John and Karkat ever bully each other about the fact that they’re mutually bad at coding, which would be hilarious, but there are loads of weird programming gags in Homestuck that I think are a part of the universe because John is bad at programming as much as they’re there because Andrew was into Comp Sci at this time.

https://homestuck.com/story/6

The first of our funky gaming abstractions. Homestuck is a story about stories, and the kind of story that it’s often about (when it’s not about highly abstract cultural narratives) is the video game. Especially the point and click adventure game.

There are a lot of weird things about Homestuck’s story and themes only because it engages with video games the way it does. I’ll come back to that. As long as I’m writing, this, I might as well take a minute to say that I think this whole sequence of screwing around with puzzling and slightly irritating gaming abstractions loses a lot of people on an archival read. It lost me a couple of times before I was able to get past it and lose the next eight years of my life to Andrew Hussie. Nowadays though, there’s something endearing about it. I like watching John scramble around.

https://homestuck.com/story/12

I’ll never get tired of Dad Egbert. Is he the Platonic Ideal of Dadliness? Maybe. Dadliness, and more generally, Manliness, is a lens we can look at a lot of John’s character arc through. His room, as we’ll see in a few panels, is full of Manly dudes, and I think he cares a lot about being a manly guy - a romantic lead, a badass, maybe some day even a Dad himself. Maybe.

https://homestuck.com/story/16

This one is a new train of thought for me.

Back when this was written, I gather the comic was still being written pretty much entirely off of prompts, and I think it’s probably just part of Andrew’s playfully antagonistic writing style, at least in a Doylist sense. I wonder how much, though, retroactively, we can read the narrative’s general aggression toward John as being his own self-criticism? Sometimes the Narrative in Homestuck is Andrew Riffing. Sometimes it’s a character’s own internal monologue. Often, I think it’s probably both.

 Maybe I’ll keep a tally of how often it happens.

https://homestuck.com/story/26

Our first sign of Dave. I think it’s funny how people glom onto some things and not others. Apple Juice has become practically Dave’s Trademark Favorite Food if you look at some peoples’ perception of the character. I don’t think people think nearly as much about how much of a surly jackass John is to his pals in early acts. He’s a little mean. Is it early installment weirdness? It certainly adds character to him.

:(

Poor Dave. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. I probably am.

https://homestuck.com/story/42

These don’t really exist any more. GameBro is one of those things about Homestuck (like John remarking on Black Presidents) that really makes it a period piece. It is, as another commentator put it, aggressively contemporary. I remember drooling over gaming magazines when they were still in print but never really buying any due to a lack of allowance funds. My friends and I shared a moment of silence when Nintendo Power went out of print.

https://homestuck.com/story/63

Rose appears. This is a character I’ve got a love hate relationship. I think out of everyone in the comic, Rose is the one I’m the most like. We’ll come back to her later. Not a lot to say here except “A Weakness for Insufferable Pricks” is a collection of syllables I’ve always enjoyed. And that Rose knows her friend’s quirks well.

https://homestuck.com/story/78

The narration is, once again, weirdly aggressive to John. (Also the Peanut Gallery thing is a cunning bit of wordplay.)

https://homestuck.com/story/82

I like this page. It’s weird and eerie. If anybody has a good take on what it means, I’m all ears. (The other houses in John’s neighborhood have always made me wonder things like, what is John’s neighborhood like? Does he have any other friends? Any neighbors who are important to him? It never comes up, so I think the answer is probably no. What about School? Does he go? He never mentions any school chums. John is a pretty lonely kid.)

https://homestuck.com/story/90

Teenagers are little shits. I certainly was one, although my general shittiness didn’t flower until I was probably between 16 and 18 years old. I was at least well behaved before that. Anyway, I think your relationship with your parents can be adversarial at the best of times when you’re John’s age. That’s always been my interpretation of Strifes, but maybe there’s more to it. John’s is pretty mild. Some of the later ones, less so.

https://homestuck.com/story/103

The Narrative gets weirdly aggressive toward John again.

https://homestuck.com/story/109

Maybe I should watch some of these movies at some point so I can be in on the joke. I don’t think I’ve watched any of John’s favorite movies, actually.

https://homestuck.com/story/132

John and Rabbits are related to John in at least two ways - magicians pull rabbits out of hats, Nic Cage puts bunnies back into boxes. John’s a bit flighty like a rabbit too. Like the legendary lapine hero Elahraira, one of John’s main strategies as the Heir of Breath is avoidance - he runs away. There’s kind of a basic tension between that and the fact that, as a self-styled manly dude, John is also, at times, pretty confrontational.

https://homestuck.com/story/153

I’ve always had an interest in like, the specific way Homestuck characters talk - getting a feel for what words they use, what words they would probably never use. Rose goes for a plethora of multisyllabic words, and then occasionally peppers her pesterlogs with Buffy Speak and profanity.

https://homestuck.com/story/154

I think they’re elegant too, Rose.

https://homestuck.com/story/171

Of all the kids, Rose uses fuck more than any other profanity. Karkat uses it more than Rose does, but a higher percentage of Rose’s curse words are fuck compared to all the curse words she uses. Just a fun fact.

It’s perhaps no surprise that Rose is the only main character to definitively end up in a stable romantic relationship by the end of the main comic. Girl has fornication on her mind.

As long as I’m on the subject of romance and fornication, I’ve been looking for an opportunity to bring up the other theme I’m going to riff on in my exploration of Homestuck a lot - Reproduction. Shipping is a bit part of the Homestuck fandom, and not for no reason - all these kids have finding a mate on their mind, and the idea of each other as potential romantic partners is one of the very first things anybody brings up - it’s the first thing Dave talks about in his very second conversation with John.

:)

Have I mentioned how much I enjoy pretty much any time John and Rose talk to each other? I am not a Grimdorks shipper, but I’ve always been of the opinion that John and Rose are closer with each other than they are with their other respective relationships. Besties.

https://homestuck.com/story/199

More narrative aggression for John. 

https://homestuck.com/story/217

It is a matter of critical importance to me that Rose’s Room is messy and her bed is unmade. We learn quite a bit about the aesthetics Rose is going to bring to the story here, but my favorite is that Rose’s room is a fucking disaster.

Anyway, I think that’s about all from me tonight. I’m about an hour out from the end of my shift. I’m largely going to be doing these while I work, since I’ll be at my computer anyway, waiting for jobs to come my way. 

This is Cam signing off, alive, and not alone.

[tansypoisoning]

(Un)Conditional - Part 1

Truce

You didn’t remember how or why you found yourself in Ransom’s bed in the first place, but now, poor, pregnant and desperate, you had your reasons for putting up with him, and they weren’t noble. His reasons for staying with you weren’t noble either.

   Me  🤝  The Reader Insert     making stupid decisions

In which the reader is pregnant with Ransom’s baby and he sees that as an opportunity for personal enrichment. Big changes to the original plot, but Idk where this is going, so stay tuned for my brain farts, and I accept suggestions (Ransom redemption arc? Or should I make him even shittier? I haven’t decided yet!). I still want to have Benoit Blanc in the story somehow, because he’s my jam, my jelly, my peanut butter and my peanuts. This chapter is safe for anyone who hasn’t watched the movie but THERE WILL BE SPOILERS in the future.

 Chapter 2 - I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

Fandoms: Knives Out

Genre: *surprised Pikachu face*

Ships: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Smut, some light choking, some daddy kink, mentions of past sexual assault, talk of abortion, unhealthy relationships, Ransom is an asshole, a fuckboy and also verbally abusive tbh.

You were such an idiot.

Many were the times you had come home after terrible dates, or left parties in your friends’ arms after a guy tried to finger-bang you when you were passed out on the couch, and yet you still let your guard down around men you knew to be assholes. You could always tell; you weren’t sure whether it was thanks to familiarity ,or if you had a knack for reading people, but you still let terrible men in when you knew them to be terrible. Bad habits, hard to break, yadda yadda yadda. All that made for piss poor comfort when you looked at the five little plastics sticks in front of you.

Feet tapping against the ground and your phone held in between your cheek and shoulder, you typed on your laptop. Planned Parenthood. You should’ve done this sooner, way sooner, when you could get an IUD, or the pill, or the shot, or whatever the fuck else, instead of trusting your reliably unreliable partners and your nonexistent backbone. Birth control was expensive, but it was nowhere near as expensive as a baby, and you were going to get the same amount of help with either, which was to say, none.

No… That wasn’t quite true. Your brother and your friends would pitch in if you asked, you knew, but, as previously established, you were an idiot.

You knew there were people who loved you and would support you no matter what, but you didn’t want to burden them with your problems. This mess was on you, on you and…

Mailbox. Of course he didn’t pick up. He got what he wanted from you, and was now moving on to another woman who was equally as gullible and equally as “passable” as you. You couldn't believe his negging had worked on you, you were so fucked.

Deep breathes. It wasn’t over yet, you could fix this. The… the thing was still only two months, you could get rid of it, with a pill, even. But should you?

You tossed your phone to the side and opened another tab. Fetus two months. You clicked the first result that mentioned the development of the thing growing inside you and read the section entitled “Baby”. Internal organs already in place… wiggling and waving like mad? Distinct facial features?!

Your hands found their way to your mouth as a sob found its way past your lips. No way. This was some forced-birther propaganda, it had to be.

You left that shitty website and opened usually trustworthy Wikipedia, but it was of no help. It didn’t exactly contradict the information the other website had given you – the difference between “waving” and “twitches” was negligible to your addled brain.

You closed your laptop with a little more force than it was wise. You stood and began pacing, one hand over your face and another resting on your abdomen. It was just your luck to have your eggs dodge the sperm of every jerk you could get to pay child support, only for you to end up carrying the Antichrist – and the Devil could afford the best lawyers.

Damned be the day you let Hugh RaNsOm Drysdale in your bed without a condom, and damned be you for being so fucking stupid. You deserved whatever suffering that came from this, and you could accept them with some grace if it didn’t feel like you were dragging an innocent along with you.

You stopped and looked down at the row of pregnancy tests arranged over the bathroom counter, all of them positive. You couldn't do this. You regretted that one night of meaningless sex more than you regretted anything in your life, and maybe you’d regret your current decision even more but you couldn't do the thing you knew you should do.

You swiped all the tests into your arms and dumped them in your bag. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your pitiful apartment and into your pitiful car. You had barely enough money to take care of yourself, let alone a child. Abortion could be the best thing you could do as a mother, but…

You pushed the keys into the ignition and shook your head. You were emotional, that was all. If you just gave yourself a little more time you’d stop thinking of it as more than the parasite it actually was, but for now… For now you needed to get things straight with the sperm donor, no matter how much it could hurt, and you were under no illusions – it would hurt like a motherfucker.

You had been in Ransom’s unfairly cool house a grand total of three times. He didn’t like having you over, much preferring fucking at your house even if he turned up his nose at the building and everything inside it. Maybe he didn’t like having to disinfect his furniture every time it got into contact with your poor people germs.

Yeah, like he cleaned anything.

You parked in front of the contemporary building and made your way to the front door, ringing the bell four times because Ransom never answered when people rang only once or twice, and then another because you were filled with dread, and manic energy, and the powerful desire to punch him in his perfect face until it wasn’t quite so perfect anymore.

You waited several minutes but there was no answer. It wasn’t surprising; if he was inside you’d have seen him through one of the outrageously large windows that covered almost every wall of the house.

You sat down on the steps to the entrance and pulled out your phone. You were done with work for the day, and you weren’t sure when he would want to pick up your calls again. You could wait.

And wait you did.

It was two in the morning when Ransom’s BMW pulled up in front of the building, activating the motion sensor lights. He walked out of the car with the confidence of a man who knew he owned everything he surveyed.

Fucking dipshit.

“Wow,” he laughed, opening his arms then dropping them to his side again, lest he appear too inviting. “You want it bad.”

You started rummaging through your bag for the pregnancy test as not to waste your time with pointless conversation. That should tell him everything you wanted to say.

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood today,” he said pulling his keys from his stupid suede coat only he could make look hot “long day, you know how it is. You can suck my cock and stay over, if you want.”

He had unlocked the door and was nudging you with his foot when you found what you were looking for and got up with a jump.

You waved the stick in the air victoriously. Even though you were the one who was the worst off in this scenario, you could at least use the source of your misery to wipe the smirk off his dumb, gorgeous face.

Done and did. Once Ransom caught on, the corner of his mouth dropped, free falling. Your life had been thrown in disarray, and the medical bills, if you chose to keep the thing, would ensure you would end up homeless in a couple of months, but at least you could rejoice in the fact you had ruined his eternal party in a spectacular fashion.

“What do you want?” He snarled. “Can’t pay the abortion? How much is it?”

You recoiled as if he had just swung a knife in your direction. This was new. You’d seen him angry before, sure, but this… the curl of his lips, the look in his eyes– it had you second guessing your decision to come see him.

You struggled to find your voice for a few seconds “I don’t… I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.”

Regret pierced you through like a lance. You knew he didn’t care about you – he didn’t “do monogamy”, he never asked you about your day, it was a struggle to get him to even buy you a coffee, and he only bothered to make you come if he could use it to feed his pride somehow – but all his disinterest in your well-being was nothing compared to the loathing radiating from him, like you were a fat dying cockroach stuck to the bottom of his nice leather shoes.

There was no reason Ransom should be able to make you feel like that. He was an absolute shitheel, a trust-fund baby who had never had a job in his life, never worked to build anything, and didn’t even have the decency to be thankful to his family for all they had done for him, and you didn’t even like him (conceding that he was attractive and you were a masochist was not the same as liking), so his opinion shouldn’t matter to you, someone with a stable source of income and an ounce of moral fiber. That didn’t stop you from writhing under his gaze.

“Get in,” he said, voice devoid of anything that could be considered charming.

You entered, waiting at the side, in fear of walking past the foyer without invitation, while he locked the door behind him.

He walked by you and went right to the kitchen. You followed him with your eyes, watched him grab a glass, fill it with water and down it. He didn’t offer you anything – you figured he didn’t think you deserved it.

“You’re suggesting it’s mine.”

His words startled you from your stupor, and you shook in your spot by the entrance before answering. “I know it’s yours. I haven’t slept with anyone else in almost a year.”

“And you are saying that.”

You bristled at his insinuation. “We can get a paternity test, if you want.”

Ransom lifted his head and inhaled sharply. He paced the length of his high end, open concept, immaculate-because-it-was-never-used kitchen, then opened a drawer, pausing to look up at you, closed it, then moved to the next and repeating the process several more times, while you shifted from one foot to the other.

“Here’s the thing, honey,” he said, and the last word was said with anything but sweetness “I’ll pay for the abortion, and I’ll pay for you to have the abortion. If you’re not gonna do it, then I don’t want to see your dog face again.”

You knew Ransom didn’t like kids – he despised them, even – but you didn’t think he’d react quite this badly. You knew he would want nothing to do with it, but you still thought telling him was the right thing to do. He deserved to know at least, surely.

The feeling you got when he first turned on you that night was a sign; you shouldn’t have come.

“I’m leaving,” you whispered.

Ransom’s cheeks were red and wide, and it seemed as if he was about to argue when he slammed his hand against the counter then stomped towards you.

You shrunk in on yourself, but you needn’t have. He just unlocked the door and pulled it open, holding it for you to walk through. His breathing was heavy and his shoulders were tense, like he was holding himself back.

Once you had rallied your strength and crossed the threshold, you heard your name being called behind you. You turned to see Ransom, still glaring at you with the same awful expression. You couldn't imagine what he had to tell you that hadn’t already been said.

“If you try contacting me again, you’re fucked.”

And then he slammed the door in your face.

You made your way to your car, head hanging low. That had been a disaster, but at least he made it easier for you to choose one of the options.

Fucking dipshit.

You had been right; time had given you helped you think things over.

Three days later and you could refer to the fetus as a fetus without going down a depressive spiral, and the thought of abortion was more palatable to you. In a couple more days you were certain you’d be able to walk into Planned Parenthood with your head held high, get your pill, and walk out, facing the world and the potential crowds of angry protesters with confidence, then move on with your life, promising never to get involved with another shitty guy again. The scare would be enough to make you change your ways, you were sure.

You didn’t want a kid, at least not yet. You were young, living paycheck to paycheck, and any child you had right now would grow up without a father. You were still mulling it over but abortion seemed like the most responsible choice, and if you couldn't make the responsible choice now, you’d make for a terrible mother in the future.

A knock on the door made you look up at the clock. Fifteen past eleven. Maybe the old lady who lived across the hall from you needed help killing a bug or something. You stood, pulled the latch off and unlocked the door, not thinking much of it, and almost walked face first into a hard body you were far too familiar with.

Ransom was there, waiting for you, his face inscrutable. His chest was heaving, and some serious heat emanated from it. You had the urge to hug his waist and burrow into his warmth, but you resisted it bravely. You’d promised yourself you would stop chasing men like him, and you intended on keeping that promise.

“Ransom,” you greeted, trying to keep your voice even.

A flash of pain roamed his face, and then he was putting his hands on you, holding the side of your face in his large palms. You opened your mouth to scream, but the sound was muffled between your lips and his.

A kiss. Ransom was kissing you – and a second ago you were so sure he was paying you a visit just to beat you up.

He maneuvered you into your apartment, still cradling your cheeks with surprising gentleness. You knew you should’ve stopped him, but your feet followed his steps with such ease, and he was so fucking warm and you living room so cold.

As one of his hands slid from your face to the back of your neck, something inside you screamed. It told you to stop now or it would be too late, and you’d fall into the same old hole and not be able to crawl out of it. You surprised yourself by listening to it and pulling away, pushing on his chest to keep a good distance between you. You told yourself you were doing well, even though you were holding onto his white shirt like a lifeline and arching your body into his.

“Ransom, wha-” your words were cut off by another kiss, more heated than the previous.

He pushed you down onto your couch -  the creaky old thing he always complained about – and climbed on top of you you, forcing you both into a laying position.

When Ransom pulled away (only to immediately latch his lips to your earlobe) you made to question him before the weakest part of yourself could convince you to just let it happen. It was she who had gotten you into this mess in the first place. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He mumbled against your skin.

“I know what you’re doing,” you huffed, twisting your body beneath him in a half-assed attempt to buck him off “You told me to never contact you again. Why are you here?”

He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound that had your very core thrumming. He removed his hands from you and pushed himself up by the forearms to look down at you. When you saw his smirk, you knew you were going to end up having sex with him no matter what he said next.

“I guess I couldn't keep away.”

And with that he went right back to his station, sucking and nibbling on the spot just behind your ear and running his hand across your waist and belly.

But what about the baby? What about whether you wanted to keep it or not? These questions were lodged in your throat, dying to burst out, but you didn’t want to to ruin this moment. You were so tired; you just wanted to be held, and Ransom was willing to do that for you, so what was the harm in giving in?

You lifted a leg and wrapped it around his thigh, and that Ransom took as acquiescence or defeat. He pulled away to lift your shirt above your breasts and wasted no time diving for them, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth and squeezing the other in between his fingers. You planted your feet on the couch and used them as leverage push your crotch upwards and rub it against his. He was a terrible person, you knew, but he could fuck you so good when he wanted to, and right now you only had the brain space to care about one of those things.

Your hips rocked in tandem with his, driving you closer to that edge you didn’t know you were yearning for until you saw him standing on your doorstep. Entangled in his arms, you remembered your older brother’s words from that night some ten years ago when you were lying on the backseat of his car, a plastic bag filled with your vomit clutched in your hands. You saw his eyes in the rear view mirror, crinkling in a smile that was equal parts amused and concerned.

A pretty boy is going to be the end of you, huh?

Ransom pushed himself into a kneeling position, removed his dark cardigan and tossed it to some forgotten corner of your living room, his shirt receiving the same treatment soon after. For someone who was so averse to working, he sure didn’t skimp on his work outs. He was built like a god, but his smile was that of the devil.

He crashed down on top of you, and his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him. You sunk both hands in his perfectly coiffed hair and dragged him up until you were staring into his baby blue eyes. He leaned down to kiss you, and you obliged him. His mouth devoured your own while his hands roamed your body, hungry, desperate almost. You didn’t want to be outdone, both because he was an asshole and you didn’t want to lose to him, and because you were as starved of him as he seemed to be of you, so you wrapped both legs around his waist to pull yourself even closer to him, as close as you could get.

Ransom’s hands abandoned your body in favor of his belt, unbuckling it to shove his pants just past his upper thighs. His eyes were pointed, telling you he expected you to follow his lead. You undid your buttons with heavy fingers, and allowed him to pull your bottoms all the way off. His grin grew in size and insolence when he saw your panties were soaked through.

“You do want it bad.”

Fucking dipshit.

Before you could think of something smarter to say, he was dragging your underwear to the side and spreading your folds. You certainly weren’t going to think of a comeback now, with his fingers up your cunt and your body begging for his attention. You wouldn’t be this aroused with any other man, but you already knew you suffered from a serious case of tastelessness and dumb. Most grievously, it appeared to be terminal.

Ransom stoked the fires inside you with one hand, pulling it out periodically to smear the wetness across your lower lips while he held himself aloft with the other, his usual lazy, confident smile plastered on his face. It made a sudden wave of lucidity wash over you.

What the fuck were you doing? You knew he wasn’t worth your time since the day you met him; Three days ago he had treated you like shit after you told him you were pregnant; Just a few minutes before you were determined not to get involved with him or men like him ever again. All the signs told you to stop now, push him away and tell him to get out under threat of you calling the police, and yet here you were, panting under him and dying to feel his cock stretching you. The mere promise of dick had you going back on your word like a rat, and all you did was make excuses for yourself. You were always too weak or too dumb to resist your urges, weren’t you? That’s why you never bothered trying.

“Wai-”

The air was forcibly expelled from your lungs when his cock entered you. He wasn’t gentle, and he didn’t have to be; your body was more than ready for him. The grunt that came fro you had an air of finality to it. You weren’t going to stop him now.

The screaming part of you let out one final screech, then withered and died.

Ransom panted, rolling his hips against yours. You held onto his arms and looked up at him. This was unusual. Normally he’d be pounding into you when you were this slick, and unusual with Ransom tended to mean ‘bad’.

He brought two wet fingers to your face and tapped your chin with them.

“Get me clean.”

You parted your lips and accepted the appendages into your mouth. Nothing unusual there; he’d made you taste yourself on his fingers a couple of times. He liked to watch you lick them clean, but this was different. His smile was strained and his eyes looked past you. You turned the full powerful of your best puppy impression on him, but he still seemed to be half-there half-somewhere else.

Once you had slurped all your juices and then some, Ransom moved both his hands to your arms, pressing you against the hard surface of the couch. He should’ve started fucking you already, but he only rocked his pelvis side to side, giving you just a hint of friction, nowhere near enough to satisfy you.

You whined and bucked your hips upwards. That got him out of his trance, his eyes regaining their shine and his smile splitting into a grin. There was that asshole you knew and didn’t love.

“What’s with that face?” He asked and moved one of his hands to your neck, applying pressure, not enough to compromise your breathing but enough to leave you light-headed for a different reason “You want something?”

“Ransom,” you clawed at his forearm like you could do anything if he chose to choke you.

“You gotta ask, baby. If you want daddy to fuck you, you gotta ask.”

Your fingers stilled around his arm. The daddy thing was not new either, but you didn’t think he’d bring it up under the present circumstances. Was this intentional, or was he not even aware of what he was saying? Were you wrong to think it was weird for him to say that now?

The fingers around your throat tightened, closing your airway for a moment, then releasing.

“Ask.”

You squirmed, tapping on his arm, but all that got you was another squeeze.

“Please,” you whimpered “Please, fuck me, daddy.”

Ransom’s grin grew even wider, wide enough that light reflected off his canines. He adjusted his position on his knees, and took his other hand from your arm, reaching behind your head to pull you by the hair, further exposing your neck to him.

“That’s a good girl,” he whispered against the top of your head.

He pulled his cock almost all the way out, then slammed back inside you. He pushed into you with shallow thrusts until he tapped a spot that made you gasp. Having found what he was looking for, Ransom diverted most of his attentions to hitting his target over and over again, periodically stopping to grind against it in a torturous slow pace.

You were too aroused to last much longer, and the bastard would be able to finish you off with little effort.

“You close, baby? You wanna cum?” He asked, and you nodded emphatically “Then you gotta do what daddy says. Can you do that?”

God, you’d do anything he asked of you at this point. Someone needed to tattoo ‘Sucker’ on your forehead already.

“Yes, daddy!” You cried, your words devolving into a high-pitched whine “I’ll do anything, please!”

The hand in your neck slid down across your body and delved in between your legs in search of your clit. You squealed when his fingers made contact, and whimpered when they began rubbing. You were aware of your trembling legs, but unable to do anything about them.

Ransom could always dismantle you with ease, but now more so than ever. You came in record time, with short little moans that culminated in an embarrassing howl. You were just coming down from your high when he picked up his pace, grunting and huffing above you. He gave you no warning before spilling into you, swaying back and forth and groaning as his own orgasm ebbed away. The fact that this was the least concerning thing he’d done all evening didn’t escape you.

He held you to him for a few seconds as both your breaths evened out, then rolled over, leaning against the backrest and lying you down by the outer edge of the couch. Ransom was always more tractable after sex, but he’d go back to being his dismissive self come the morning, and then you’d bitch and moan to yourself. This was a familiar dance you couldn't seem to stop repeating.

You were ready to recommence your self-pitying when Ransom spoke, interrupting the flow of your lamentations.

“I thought about what you said the other day,” he said. The pregnancy? Why would he bring that up now? “and if you want to keep it, I’ll help you.”

A tremor ran through your spine and you lost your precarious balance on the couch, falling to the carpet with a loud thud.

There was laughter – because of course there was – then Ransom was peering down at you. His lips were pressed together, as if he was still fighting to rein in his amusement.

“You… you want to help me?” You asked when you found your voice again.

He nodded. “I do.”

“You want to help me raise a kid?”

“Yeah,” he rolled his eyes “I thought that was obvious the first two times I said it.”

“You don’t like kids.”

“I like to think I would like my kids,” Ransom said, stretching across your couch like a lazy cat.

“Why?” You said, then, realizing that question was more for yourself than it was for him, you rephrased your question “What made you change your mind? Cause you seemed pretty sure when I saw you last.”

“And I was,” he agreed “I never wanted kids, and… And I was pissed,” he chuckled and shook his head “I don’t know who I was pissed at. All I know is I couldn't think straight. When I saw the pregnancy test… I don’t know, I could see my entire life crumbling.”

You could’ve asked him ‘what life?’ but decided against it.

“So, cut to a few days later, and I had this… Clarity. I realized there was nothing I could do if you wanted to keep it, and maybe,” he paused to take a deep breath “maybe I should take responsibility.”

You sat up and made a point of frowning at him. “Seriously, what happened?”

“I told you already. Just… boom – clarity.”

You knew Ransom was sharper than a first impression would lead one to believe, but self-awareness was not his forte. Could he have had a change of heart in such a short period of time? Did you believe him? You wanted to believe him.

“Do you seriously want to raise a kid with me?”

He laughed and threw his hands up in the air “How many times do I gotta say it?”

“Do you even know what that entails?”

“Hey, I babysat my cousins a couple times,” he said, picking at the foam peeking through a hole in the upholstery of your couch “I bet I’d do better than you.”

Being a parent had to be harder than watching children for a few hours, but as far as experience with children went… well, maybe he was onto something.

A palm emerged in front of you, rousing you from your thoughts.

“Truce?” Ransom asked. There was something about the way he looked at you gave you hope.

Earnest, he looked earnest.

You took his hand in yours and shook once.

“Truce.”

Part 2: I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I’m Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

[theriverpersonshadow]

Lamia Drama (Part 2)

See previous post for warnings and general info.

Credit for the lamia species (or at least the specific species, not lamia in general) goes to @vex-bittys

Keith decides to give this new girl a chance and introduces another lamia! DnD shall come whether Hux likes it or not. Coral boy is jealous.

< PREV | NEXT >

           Keith and Hux had just been talking DnD with each other when a girl with short, wavy blonde hair walked into the back. Keith’s flickering tongue caught the taste of sweat, dirt, and a variety of plants. Real plants, not like the fake trees, though he could identify some of the smells as the foliage they could keep here. His soul leaped in his chest, he could feel it immediately, they were meant to be.

           … According to who? Or what? Some bred in biological imperitive? It was just there to make him easier to adopt, right? But it felt real…

           No.

           He wasn’t going to leave Hux and the others behind. The woman didn’t seem to have even noticed anyways, so maybe he was just imagining it. Heck, he probably was. Then again, if anything was going to seduce him – something he felt was pretty impossible, he’d just never been interested – it’d probably be someone bringing their own books and homemade fucking cookies. Yes please. They smelled like chocolate and peanut butter – questionably healthy at best, but he’d take it!

           … He should probably answer the question, huh?

           “Yeah, nice to meet ya. Name’s Keith, I’m the DM,” Keith said, slithering down to her level.

           “So, you think you have what it takes to play with the big boys?” Hux said. “Heh. How’d you even find out about that?”

           “There was a sign,” the woman said. “My friends are busy with college stuff right now – I’m on break, doing work in a greenhouse and all – but my evenings are totally free. Kinda have to leave early though, have to be up before the sun. I love the job, but that part sucks.”

           Keith chuckled, “I feel you there.” He’d stay snuggled in a nesting mound half the day if you let him. What? Blankets are soft, and it’s not like he had to leave to read things. Beds and blankets make reading better if anything. Prime coziness.

           “I think you should look somewhere else,” Hux said. “We go until, like, two in the morning sometimes.”

           Before Keith could stop himself, he found himself saying, “Eh, we can end early for a little while. Or hey, maybe have a side campaign with you or something.”

           “What?!” Hux said, standing high as he could on his tail with his arms thrown out. “Dude! We’re halfway through Pipsqueak’s character arc or whatever! Can’t just push him aside…”

Pipsqueak was Trousle’s (a bitty Papython) mousefolk bard; he’d been looking for pieces of the Worldsong, a song that, once played, was supposed to give the musician power over all things. Pipsqueak had managed to get half of it and was facing down with Caterwaul, the Tabaxi bard, who had the other half. It was looking like Pipsqueak was questioning whether the song should be played by any. However it played out was going to be awesome, though it might or might not be the end of the campaign depending on how Trousle played it.

           Since when did Hux care so much about that though? He wasn’t exactly a roleplayer type…

           “I mean, if you guys are full or in the middle of something, I can just… not?” the woman said.

           “Nah, don’t mind Hux. It’s alright, uh… What’s your name?”

           “Oh! My bad. Call me Alex. You said it’s, uh… Key?”

           “Keith,” Hux said, unimpressed.

           “I am the actual worst at names,” Alex said, sighing.

           “Eh, it happens. But I bet we can work something out.”

           “We don’t need to work things out,” Hux grumbled, curling into a ball on the floor and sulking, hiding his skeleton half under a ball of black and red scales.

           Keith rolled his eyes. Hux never liked change and didn’t seem too fond of people. He was tolerant of the people running the place, but no one else. That said, it was no excuse to be a dick. “Hux, be nice. Sorry about him, he’ll warm up to ya. Why don’t I take you to meet the others? We can work something out. Not like we’re going anywhere…” And that was fine by him. Home was here with his own batch of misfits. “Get Liam, will ya Hux?”

           “Ugh, why do I have to?”

           “ ‘Cause you can never find Trousle.”

           “Why don’t I go looking for Oozy?”

           “I’ll bet you a week’s snacks that Oozy’s in his hammock.”

           Hux huffed and crossed his arms with an adorable blush on his face, flustered. He was, apparently, not willing to take that bet. As much as Keith liked to stay curled up all cozy, he had nothing on Oozy. It wouldn’t be the first time they had to carry him in the hammock to DnD night. Hecking cornies.

           “Thought so,” Keith said, chuckling. “I’ll go get Nikolai. Hope you don’t mind kiddos, Lex.”

           “Is Nikolai a kid?”

           “Nope,” Keith said. “Follow me.” He slithered past the jungle of fake plants, real plants, and various toys and hiding holes that made up the dim room he liked to call the “Chilling Room.” It was a little cool in here, but mostly he called it that ‘cause this area tended to be more quiet, lacking the toys and people-chairs that littered the rest of the back. Sometimes you just need a place to be a Snake and stalk your friends for a little while, or somewhere to just hide in a hole and listen to the same song until it was playing through your dreams in utter bliss. That second one seemed unique to him.

           “… I’m not gonna remember any of these names,” Alex whispered to herself. She stopped to pull some dead foliage from some of the plants, fingers working fast with practice. For a moment she paused then put a leaf in her mouth. “Stevia leaves the weirdest after taste. Not bad though. Also, why do you have stevia?”

           “Is that what that is? I think the Honeybos like to chew on it.”

           “Is that why they’re Honeybos? ‘Cause they’re full of sweet?”

           “I mean, maybe! Never bitten into one.”

           “Not even licked one?” Pause. “That’s a weird thing to ask, huh?”

           “I mean, I smell with that y’know. But some of them do smell kinda sweet.” He had the oddest urge to nibble a snake now. Logically he knew they were not just little slithering sweets, but a little voice in the back of his head whispered but what if they do taste like honey buns?

           Keith really hoped that voice wasn’t Alex’s. That’s just a weird thing to think. Even weirder if you aren’t a snake. “Do you stick a lot of random stuff in your mouth?”

           Alex kinda went quiet, staring at the floor, and Keith tried to stifle a laugh, stopping in his tracks to look at her behind him. “Oh my god. You have, haven’t you? What’s the weirdest thing?”

           “Probably either crickets, an agar plate – one of those things they grow bacteria on – or my salt lamp.”

           “Can confirm, those are salty.”

           “You too?”

           “Nope. But Trousle dared Liam to once and he swallowed the whole thing. We had to pull it out by the chord.”

           “That… That’s both amazing and dangerous.”

           Keith nodded, “Yep. Never dare a Mamba to do something unless you want to face the consequences.” Looking around, he brought out his phone and showed some pictures of Liam – a full sized Mamba – with light streaming from his mouth and tail as Hux and Nikolai (a King) tried desperately to pull the lamp out. Trousle was on the table, shouting encouragement but too small to actually help. “That’s why we’re not allowed to have salt lamps anymore.”

           Alex was snorting as she laughed, hand over her mouth and eyes crinkled behind glasses. “Oh my goodness. Reminds me of when I caught a baby rabbit and found out they can scream. I almost dropped it.”

           “Oh no!”

           “It tried to escape! But I caught it midair. And then it just stared at me, judging. Relatedly, gardening gloves have multiple uses. One of them is bunny catching. They have claws and will kick the shit out of you.”

           He’s tempted to mention that’s why he just eats them, but gets the feeling that won’t go over well. Since when does he care? He’s a snake, she should know this. It’s natural.

           “You like cute? C’mon,” Keith said. It was a short slither to the very back room. Alex stopped, staring at the “Staff Only” sign, but Keith gently tugged her through, “It’s fine.” The door opened up to a humid room with multiple little lamps scattered over eggs and newborns. The nursery. They were greeted with a variety of hisses and chirps from little baby snakes and a much louder hiss from Nikolai. The King’s hood flared upon seeing the stranger and he stood as tall as he could, clutching three squirming baby Pygmy (full sized, but still so small) to his chest protectively.

           Alex froze up, face going blank as she stared at the sight of King’s hood and fangs, venom dripping from them. Maybe Keith should’ve warned Nikolai first, but better late than never?

           “Alex, this is Nikolai. The most broody bastard you’ll ever meet. Nikolai, Alex. She wants to play DnD. And probably to also hold some kiddos, but who am I to judge?”

           Nikolai narrowed his eyes, somehow keeping hold of the Pygmy as all three attempted to go in different directions, unfazed by one of them trying to put his hands in Nikolai’s eyesockets. “Keith. We need to talk.”