#I also lost a tooth and have been fighting for about 9 months now to get my mouth sorted but that's nhs waiting times for you

[hollenka99]

Listening to 30/90 reminds that this time last year, I suspected I was about to be kicked out of uni and I knew 23 was going to be pivotal year for me. Well, I was right, I did drop out of university last September after failing to get the grades.

But I got a part time job in my local library which I enjoy. I might even move on to a full time one if the position I interviewed for this week gets back to me with an offer to join them. A part of me mourned the fact I wouldn’t be graduating this summer but let’s be honest, it was going to come close to killing me if I somehow stayed. While there’s still no partner to speak of, I have finally settled into my asexuality and fully embraced it after years of being on the fence about what my identity actually is. Some great movies and shows came out in the past 11 months, along with my interest in reading physical books gradually returning. I discovered new fandoms like Epic/The Odyssey and The Dragon Prince too. Man, the chaos of September 8th, she has that to look forward to as well.

There’s still 3 weeks to go but 23 hasn’t been as bad as July 2022 me was envisioning. I wish I could reassure her by telling her that.

[aswiya]

Zeynab Serekaniye, a Kurdish woman with a gap-toothed smile and a warm demeanor, never imagined she’d join a militia.

The 26-year-old grew up in Ras al-Ayn, a town in north-east Syria. The only girl in a family of five, she liked to fight and wear boys’ clothing. But when her brothers got to attend school and she did not, Serekaniye did not challenge the decision. She knew it was the reality for girls in the region. Ras al-Ayn, Arabic for “head of the spring”, was a green and placid place, so Serekaniye settled down to a life of farming vegetables with her mother.

That changed on 9 October 2019, days after former US president Donald Trump announced that US troops would pull out of north-east Syria, where they had allied with Kurdish-led forces for years. A newly empowered Turkey, which sees the stateless Kurds as an existential threat, and whose affiliated groups it has been at war with for decades, immediately launched an offensive on border towns held by Kurdish forces in north-east Syria, including Ras al-Ayn.

Just after 4pm that day, Serekaniye says, the bombs began to fall, followed by the dull plink and thud of mortar fire. By evening, Serekaniye and her family had fled to the desert, where they watched their town go up in smoke. “We didn’t take anything with us,” she says. “We had a small car, so how can we take our stuff and leave the people?” As they fled, she saw dead bodies in the street. She soon learned that an uncle and cousin were among them. Their house would become rubble.

After Serekaniye’s family was forced to resettle farther south, she surprised her mother in late 2020 by saying she wanted to join the Women’s Protection Units (YPJ). The all-female, Kurdish-led militia was established in 2013 not long after their male counterparts, the People’s Protection Units (YPG), ostensibly to defend their territory against numerous groups, which would come to include the Islamic State (Isis). The YPG have also been linked to systematic human rights abuses including the use of child soldiers.

Serekaniye’s mother argued against her decision, because two of her brothers were already risking their lives in the YPG.

But Serekaniye was unmoved. “We’ve been pushed outside of our land, so now we should go and defend our land,” she says. “Before, I was not thinking like this. But now I have a purpose – and a target.”

Serekaniye is one of approximately 1,000 women across Syria to have enlisted in the militia in the past two years. Many joined in anger over Turkey’s incursions, but ended up staying.

“In discussions [growing up], it was always, ‘if something happens, a man will solve it, not a woman’,” says Serekaniye. “Now women can fight and protect her society . This, I like.”

According to the YPG, a surge in recruitment has also been aided by growing pushback against and awareness of entrenched gender inequality and violence over recent years. In 2019 the Kurds’ Autonomous Administration of North and East Syria passed a series of laws to protect women, including banning polygamy, child marriages, forced marriages and so-called “honour” killings, although many of these practices continue. About a third of Asayish officers in the Kurdish security services in the region are now women and 40% female representation is required in the autonomous government. A village of only women, where female residents can live safe from violence, was built, evacuated after nearby bombings, and resettled again.

Yet evidence of the widespread violence that women continue to face is abundant at the local Mala Jin, or “women’s house”, which provide a refuge and also a form of local arbitration for women in need across Syria. Since 2014, 69 of these houses have opened, with staff helping any woman or man who come in with problems they’re facing including issues of domestic violence, sexual harassment and rape, and so-called “honour” crimes, often liaising with local courts and the female units of the Asayish intelligence agency to solve cases.

On a sun-scorched day in May, three distraught women arrive in quick succession at a Mala Jin centre in the north-eastern city of Qamishli. The first woman, who wears a heavy green abaya, tells staff that her husband has barely come home since she’s given birth. The second woman arrives with her husband in tow, demanding a divorce; her long ponytail and hands shake as she describes how he’d once beaten her until she had to get an abortion.

The third woman shuffles in pale-faced and in a loose dress, with rags wrapped around her hands. Her skin is raw pink and black from burns that cover much of her face and body. The woman describes to staff how her husband has beaten her for years and threatened to kill a member of her family if she left him. After he poured paraffin on her one day, she says, she fled his house; he then hired men to kill her brother. After her brother’s murder, she set herself on fire. “I got tired,” she says.

The Mala Jin staff, all women, tut in disapproval as she speaks. They carefully write down the details of her account, tell her they need to take photographs, and explain they plan to send the documents to the court to help secure his arrest. The woman nods then lies down on a couch in exhaustion.

Behia Murad, the director of the Qamishli Mala Jin, an older, kind-eyed woman in a pink hijab, says the Mala Jin centres have handled thousands of cases since they started, and, though both men and women come in with complaints, “always the woman is the victim”.

A growing number of women visit the Mala Jin centres. Staff say that this doesn’t represent increased violence against women in the region, but that more women are demanding equality and justice.

The YPJ is very aware of this shift and its potential as a recruitment tool. “Our aim is not to just have her hold her gun, but to be aware,” says Newroz Ahmed, general commander of the YPJ.

For Serekaniye it was not just that she got to fight, it was also the way of life the YPJ seemed to offer. Instead of working in the fields, or getting married and having children, women who join the YPJ talk about women’s rights while training to use a rocket-​propelled grenade. They are discouraged, though not banned, from using phones or dating and instead are told that comradeship with other women is now the focus of their day to day lives.

Commander Ahmed, soft-spoken but with an imposing stare, estimates the female militia’s current size is about 5,000. This is the same size the YPJ was at the height of its battle against Isis in 2014 (though the media have previously reported an inflated number). If the YPJ’s continued strength is any indication, she adds, the Kurdish-led experiment is still blooming.

The number remains high despite the fact that the YPJ has lost hundreds, if not more, of its members in battle and no longer accepts married women (the pressure to both fight and raise a family is too intense, Ahmed says). The YPJ also claim it no longer accepts women under 18 after intense pressure from the UN and human rights groups to stop the use of child soldiers; although many of the women I met had joined below that age, though years ago.

Driving through north-east Syria, it is no wonder that so many women continue to join, given the ubiquitous images of smiling female shahids, or martyrs. Fallen female fighters are commemorated on colourful billboards or with statues standing proudly at roundabouts. Sprawling cemeteries are filled with shahids, lush plants and roses growing from their graves.

The fight against Turkey is one reason to maintain the YPJ, says Ahmed, who spoke from a military base in al-Hasakah, the north-east governorate where US troops returned after Joe Biden was elected. She claims that gender equality is the other. “We continue to see a lot of breaches [of law] and violations against women” in the region, she says. “We still have the battle against the mentality, and this is even harder than the military one.”

Tal Tamr, the YPJ base where Serekaniye is stationed, is a historically Christian and somewhat sleepy town. Bedouins herd sheep through fields, children walk arm-in-arm through village lanes, and slow, gathering dust storms are a regular afternoon occurrence. Yet Kurdish, US and Russian interests are all present here. Sosin Birhat, Serekaniye’s commander, says that before 2019 the YPJ base in Tal Tamr was tiny; now, with more women joining, she describes it as a full regiment.

The base is a one-storey, tan-coloured stucco building once occupied by the Syrian regime. The women grow flowers and vegetables in the rugged land at the back. They do not have a signal for their phones or power to use a fan, even in the sweltering heat, so they pass the time on their days off, away from the frontline, having water fights, chain smoking and drinking sugary coffee and tea.

Yet battle is always on their minds. Viyan Rojava, a more seasoned fighter than Serekaniye, talks of taking back Afrin. In March 2018, Turkey and the Free Syrian Army rebels it backed, launched Operation Olive Branch to capture the north-eastern district beloved for its fields of olive trees.

Since the Turkish occupation of Afrin, tens of thousands of people have been displaced – Rojava’s family among them – and more than 135 women remain missing, according to media reports and human rights groups. “If these people come here, they will do the same to us,” says Rojava, as other female fighters nod in agreement. “We will not accept that, so we will hold our weapons and stand against them.”

Serekaniye listens intently as Rojava speaks. In the five months since she joined the YPJ, Serekaniye has transformed. During military training in January, she broke a leg trying to scale a wall; now, she can easily handle her gun.

As Rojava speaks, the walkie-talkie sitting beside her crackles. The women at the base were being called to the frontline, not far from Ras al-Ayn. There is little active fighting these days, yet they maintain their positions in case of a surprise attack. Serekaniye dons her flak jacket, grabs her Kalashnikov and a belt of bullets. Then she gets into an SUV headed north, and speeds away.

By Elizabeth Flock. Additional reporting by Kamiran Sadoun and Solin Mohamed Amin. 

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Forged Through Fire (9/13)

Summary: Amestris. Once democratic, now a military dictatorship. Prohibition is strict; personal freedoms curtailed. All alchemists must be state-licensed or face imprisonment. Foreigners are met with suspicion. It’s a grim place and a grim time, but there are some people able to bring a little light to the world. Behind an innocent-looking bookshop, speakeasy proprietor Chris Mustang has formed an unlikely alliance with unlicensed alchemist Van Hohenheim to provide alcohol to those who want it and medical care to those who need it. When Riza’s newly complete tattoo becomes infected, Roy brings her into this underworld, little knowing the way it will change their lives in the future – uncovering the secrets of the mythical Philosopher’s Stone and the schemes of a Fuhrer hell-bent on achieving immortality, all whilst navigating what they mean to each other.

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Rated: T

[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [AO3]

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Content warning for this chapter: Medical abuse and implied vivisection; panic attacks.

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Forged Through Fire

Nine

The first thing that Hohenheim became aware of when he woke up was that everything was suddenly very bright, because he was staring straight up into a fluorescent ceiling light. 

The second thing that he became aware of was that he couldn’t move. He tried to lift his arms, feeling the bite of metal against his wrists and hearing the clink of chain. His ankles were the same, and panic began to course through his veins as he felt cold steel against his neck as well. 

Even after nearly five hundred years, he still remembered the constant fear hanging over him, the constant threat against his already limited freedom. Every slave in Xerxes knew the terror of chains if they displeased their masters. 

He couldn’t breathe. 

It was the night Xerxes fell all over again, except that time he could definitely breathe because he’d screamed so much he couldn’t speak for a month afterwards.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Ah, you’re awake. I was beginning to think we might have gone too far and lost you there.” A fuzzy face loomed over him, blocking out the searing light, but Hohenheim was already hyperventilating and light-headed, and the only feature he could make out was a flash of gold in the area that was presumably the mouth. 

“You know, I’ve been studying your regenerative capability and it really is remarkable,” the gold-toothed voice continued. “I lost count of the number of times I tried to open you up to get a good look at the inner workings, but you always heal up before I can have a good poke around.”

Hohenheim couldn’t breathe. This was it, after four hundred and fifty years, give or take, he was finally going to die, and he was dying a slave in chains just as he’d been born; humans really didn’t change over time. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe…

“I’ve been wondering what would happen if we cut your head off. Would it just reattach itself or would you grow a new one? And would it have all the same memories as your old one?” There was a chuckle. “Don’t worry, I won’t try it. Not yet, anyway. Bradley wouldn’t be too pleased if I did end up killing the only immortal he’d ever come across by accident in the name of curiosity.”

Hohenheim blacked out. 

Forgive me, Trisha.

X

“Twenty-Three.”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Come here.”

Slave Twenty-Three crossed the room cautiously towards his master. He didn’t think he’d done anything that warranted punishment today. He’d been extra careful not to move any of his master’s alchemy materials whilst he’d been cleaning this morning, which was no mean feat considering that his desk amassed more and more papers and jars and equipment every day. 

“Give me your arm.”

Slave Twenty-Three just stared at the scalpel in his master’s hand. 

“Your arm, boy.”

He held out his arm, trying to stop it trembling. His master gave a snort of laughter. 

“There’s no need to be afraid, boy. This isn’t a punishment. In fact, this is a great honour for a slave. You’re assisting me in my research for the King of Xerxes. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. Only a scratch.”

The scalpel nicked his inner elbow sharply, and blood began to ebb out of the blue vein there. His master pressed a small vial against his skin, collecting the drops, and Slave Twenty-Three looked over at all of the similar vials on the shelf. He wondered how many other slaves had had this dubious honour. 

At length, the vial was full, and his master gave him a rag to press against the cut to staunch the bleeding whilst he went back over to his steaming alchemy equipment, dripping Slave Twenty-Three’s blood into one of the bubbling jars. The clear liquid inside turned a bright ruby red colour, and his master smiled. 

“Now, that’s a new development.” He turned back to Slave Twenty-Three. “Your blood type is extremely rare, you know. I believe only a few others in Xerxes would have it. The alchemic potential is potent. Yes, I think that this could be the key.”

Slave Twenty-Three went back to his work, making sure that he was out of sight of his master before he shivered with fear at the implications that might bring. 

X

Hohenheim was vaguely aware of voices above him. 

“It’s slow going because I’m having to keep him sedated and the elixial healing factor means he burns through sedative quicker than a human. Every time he wakes up he starts having a panic attack and I don’t want him bringing the lab down around my ears.”

“Take your time, doctor.” That was Bradley’s voice. “It’s hardly as if he’s going to be missed. By the way, I think he’s waking up again.”

There was a curse and a needle plunged into his neck.

X

Slave Twenty-Three was beginning to wonder if there was actually any blood left in his body. 

On the one hand, he knew that he should probably be grateful for the interest that his master had taken in him. He had been relieved of most of his heavier duties in order to spend more time in the alchemy laboratory, and he was certainly much better fed now than he had been before. He was also learning a great deal of alchemy simply by being around it so much, but he hadn’t mentioned that to anyone, just like he hadn’t mentioned the fact he was beginning to learn to read. 

It was hard going trying to do it in secret, especially when he was around his master so much more these days, but he was getting there. He was desperate to know just what his blood was being used for. He knew that the King of Xerxes was attempting to achieve immortality, but Slave Twenty-Three didn’t know how he could possibly help with that.

He started to fear when his master began to despair. The experiments he was trying were becoming increasingly dangerous, and it appeared that they were not yielding any results. The more he tried, the more blood he took, and the more blood he took, the more Slave Twenty-Three feared that one day he’d take all of it and he’d die without ever having the chance to be a free man and have a family. 

(His master had promised him his freedom in return for his assistance with his commission from the King of Xerxes, but Slave Twenty-Three wasn’t holding out much hope.)

It was when the King himself appeared in the laboratory one day that Slave Twenty-Three began to wonder if perhaps trying to run away was the best idea. It had never really crossed his mind before since slaves so rarely escaped from Xerxes. Even if they made it out of the country without being captured and returned to their masters, there was still the great desert on all sides to cross before they could reach the safety of Xing or Amestris. 

Slave Twenty-Three decided that he was going to have to risk it and was about to inch out of the room when his master saw him.

“Ah, Twenty-Three. Come here.”

He could not disobey his master with the King in the room, so he crossed the floor with his heart in his mouth, bowing low and averting his eyes before the sovereign.

“I have good news, Twenty-Three. Tonight all of my research will pay off, and you will help the King achieve his goal of immortality.”

Slave Twenty-Three was shrewd enough to know that helping the king achieve immortality would definitely come at the expense of his own life.

“Don’t you feel it an honour to be a part of this great process?”

Slave Twenty-Three didn’t feel it was an honour. Slave Twenty-Three just felt sick. 

Slave Twenty-Three bolted and made it all of five steps out of the alchemy laboratory before the royal guards knocked him out. 

X

“I’m having trouble with the alchemical potential. If we could just try and transmute…”

“No. Remember what happened in Xerxes. I’m not having you accidentally killing us.”

Hohenheim kept his eyes closed. The metal was still close around his neck. He tried to ignore it and breathe evenly. 

He felt the soft sparks of alchemy crackle over his fingertips, but he was still so light-headed and lethargic, his brain felt like it was made of cheese. There was nothing doing. The elixir that was his blood was humming actively through his veins, the electric feeling of automatic healing, but this time on a constant loop. 

He was so, so tired.

X

Slave Twenty-Three knew the transmutation circle for what it was as the royal guards dragged him in and tied him down in the centre. 

Human transmutation had always been forbidden in Xerxes, but since the King made the laws and it was the King that this transmutation was being performed for, Slave Twenty-Three didn’t think that his master would be punished for it. 

He didn’t fight against the heavy chains holding him down. What point was there?

“Do you really think that this will work, Master Atticus?”

“Your Majesty, my research shows that this process will use the alchemic potential of Twenty-Three’s blood and transmute it into the elixir of life. Once this is transfused into you, you will have gained immortality.”

“And if the alchemy rebounds?”

“The alchemy will not rebound. There is equivalent exchange – the slave for the Philosopher’s Stone.”

“Very well. Proceed, Master Atticus.”

Bright white alchemic lightning flew around the array as his master put his hands to it, and Slave Twenty-Three screamed. 

He didn’t know how long he screamed for, as every fibre of his being was pulled apart and put back together again what felt like a hundred times over.

He could feel the alchemy in his veins as his blood boiled. It was more powerful than anything he’d ever known. 

He kept screaming. Red lightning flashed in front of his eyes. 

That was new. Alchemic lightning was always white or blue. 

He kept screaming.

When Slave Twenty-Three woke up, everything was dark and deathly quiet. He craned his head to try and see what was going on. 

He could see his master slumped at the edge of the circle. He could see the King of Xerxes in his throne, his eyes wide open and glassy, and extremely, undeniably dead. 

He turned as much as the chains and collar would allow to look over at the guards, sprawled on the floor as well. 

Slave Twenty-Three screamed again, feeling the alchemy in his veins rush into life and red lightning sparkling over his skin as the chains melted away to dust.

Equivalent exchange. The slave for the Philosopher’s Stone. The elixir of life. 

Slave Twenty-Three kept screaming. 

X

X

Riza stared up at the ceiling in the dark. She didn’t even know why she’d even gone to bed, she knew that trying to sleep was going to be a completely futile endeavour until she knew for herself what was going on and whether Hohenheim had been found. Even though she knew that she probably wouldn’t get any news until morning, she still felt that she ought to be on hand the moment something happened. Time was of the essence, after all. 

She pulled on her robe over her pyjamas and crept down from her apartment, through the dark shop and into the bar. The lights were down apart from a few of the back lights over the bar rail itself, and Roy was sitting on one of the stools, chin resting on his arms on the polished wood as he stared at the whiskey tumbler in front of him. 

He looked over as he heard her footsteps coming towards him.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Is there any news?”

Roy shook his head. “Nothing yet. Everyone’s still on it. Armstrong and I went to Central Command to see if we could find out where Bradley is at the moment. They would have let him know as soon as they realised Hohenheim isn’t normal, and they would have worked that out pretty quickly; they’re not exactly gentle when they bag someone, and he wouldn’t have any marks to show for it.”

“So where is Bradley?”

“No one knows, but he left Central Command in a hurry on a timescale that fits in with Hohenheim’s arrest.” Roy sighed. “Armstrong’s still there; he’s laying the groundwork for tomorrow.”

“What happens tomorrow?”

“We break into the armoury. There’s no way we’re taking on the secret police without as much firepower as we can get our hands on.”

“You know I’m happy to add my firepower to that.”

Roy shook his head. “Riza, I can’t ask you to get involved with this.”

“Why not? This isn’t just a military thing, Roy. Whatever the Fuhrer’s doing, it’ll affect all of Amestris. It’ll affect me as well as you. And Hohenheim isn’t just your friend. He’s mine too. He’s all of ours. He’s part of this little family that we’ve made for ourselves here. I want to help him just as much as anyone else does. You can’t deny that I can.”

“Well, you were the first person that Chris gave her rifle to earlier, so no, I can’t really deny that.”

“Besides, you’re not asking me to get involved in it. I am saying that I want to get involved in it. I know it’s going to be dangerous, Roy, I’m not stupid. You’re going to need to have someone watching your back though, aren’t you?”

“Honestly, Riza, I don’t think I’d ever be more grateful to have you watching my back.”

Riza perched on the bar stool next to him, putting an arm around him.

“I know you’re blaming yourself. I can tell. This isn’t your fault. This isn’t Hughes’s fault. This isn’t Hohenheim’s fault. Lay the blame at Bradley’s door. This all comes down to him. You can’t keep beating yourself up about things that you have no control over, Roy. Life just doesn’t work like that.”

“I know.” Roy groaned, planting his face into the bar. “I should probably go home. It took a while, but I think that all the adrenaline’s finally wearing off. Part of me just wants to stay here and take a leaf out of Fuery’s book.” He gestured over his shoulder towards one of the booths where Fuery was curled up under a blanket, dead to the world. “Breda dragged him out of the office about twenty minutes ago and threatened to sit on him until he agreed to get some sleep.”

“You know, I have a couch upstairs,” Riza pointed out. “You don’t need to sleep in the bar.”

“Oh.” Roy raised his head an inch or so off the bar and looked at her. “Are you sure?”

In all the time that Riza had been living above the shop and frequenting the bar with Roy, since helping her move in, he had never been up into her apartment before. It was as if that part of her life had always been kept separate and self-contained, and now she was inviting him into it. It felt like a big step to be taking in their relationship, allowing him into her home, and Riza didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if they were going to do anything once they were there; Roy looked like he might pass out before he even got up the two flights of stairs to the couch, but all the same, she was going to be sharing her private domain with him. 

“Yes, I’m sure. Come on up. I’ve got cocoa up there, and no offence to Madam Christmas but I think it’s probably best if she sticks to coffee when it comes to non-alcoholic beverages.”

That raised a smile, and Roy pushed himself away from the bar, sliding gracelessly off his stool and following her up through the shop again. Once they were back in the apartment, Riza busied herself with finding a spare blanket and puffing up the cushions whilst she waited for the milk to warm. Roy just settled on the couch, kicking off his boots. 

“It’s certainly a lot cosier than when I was last in here,” he said, looking around at the living room and kitchenette. “Where did you put the crates of vodka in the end?”

Riza lifted the tablecloth to show that the table was not in fact a table but a plank resting on several crates, and Roy snorted. 

“Nice.”

They fell into silence with their cocoa. It felt like something really ought to be said, but Riza was all out of reassurances and was feeling just as wretched about the whole thing as Roy obviously was. Her thoughts kept coming back to Hohenheim and what might be happening to him now, and what might have happened to him before all those centuries ago. 

Suddenly her first meeting with him fell into a different light. 

“My father’s licensed, but he experiments.”

“On you?”

Of course she hadn’t known that he was coming from a place of personal experience then, but she understood the sympathy in his eyes now. 

He’d done so much good, and he’d helped so many people, turning the strange gift or curse of life that he’d been given to a higher calling, and Riza couldn’t bear to think of what might be happening to him now and of him being experimented on again, turned into a lab rat through circumstances he had no control over. 

She wiped her eyes before Roy could notice her tears and took a sip of her cocoa to cover the action. 

“It’s real now,” Roy muttered suddenly.

“Sorry?”

“It’s real now. It’s really happening. Before, when we were all just sitting around with all these books and papers trying to work out what was going on, it still felt like we were detached from it in a way. We knew that something was going on and we knew that it was bad, but there wasn’t the same sense of urgency that there is now. It had already affected us – Hughes had almost died for the secret, so we knew that they were serious about it. But we’d got Hughes back and he was safe, and maybe that lulled us into a false sense of security. All the talk of the Philosopher’s Stone and Bradley trying to be immortal, it still felt so fantastical and unreal. Now we know that the Philosopher’s Stone exists, and immortality is real and achievable, and suddenly it seems like Bradley might succeed.”

“He won’t,” Riza said, although she could hear the lack of conviction behind her own words. “I’ve spent enough time reading novels in that shop downstairs to know that this is all part of the journey. This is the part where the intrepid hero encounters just one obstacle too many and begins to doubt himself, and then we’ll have a great climactic finale where he saves the world, gets the girl and makes it home in time for dinner.”

Roy looked up from his cocoa mug and smiled. “I think I’m doing the hero’s journey out of order in that case. I’ve already got the girl.”

“Yes. You have.” Riza leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, Roy. No matter what happens, you will always have me at your back. Just like I know you’ve always got my back.”

It really was a fitting description, considering that it was her back that had forged the deep bond of trust between them in the first place. Roy knew the secret of her back, and he had kept it faithfully all these years; he truly had her back in all senses of the word. 

“Thank you.”

They finished their cocoa in silence, and Riza dumped the mugs in the sink. She didn’t know that she would be able to get to sleep any better than she had done before, especially not with the knowledge that Roy would be just a few steps away on the couch, but Roy himself looked ready to drop with exhaustion, so she decided it would be best to leave him to get what rest he could, especially if he was on a mission to the armoury in the morning. 

“Good night, Roy.”

“Good night, Riza.”

She closed her bedroom door behind her and leaned back against it, closing her eyes. 

Maybe the next time Roy ended up in her apartment, all of this would have come to a happy conclusion, and he would be coming into this room with her. It certainly wasn’t the first time she had thought about it, but this time she pushed it to the side. It wasn’t the time or place, and as much as she craved the comfort that such intimacy would bring her, they were both too emotional to be sure of no regrets in the morning. 

Soon though. Hopefully soon.

[rafe-cameron]

THE ANALYSIS OF JOHN B ROUTLEDGE

In the fandom, what I've seen is a lot of what I feel is misinterpretation of John B's character, which is leading to a lot of unnecessary slander, and overall a negative vibe surrounding John B, and giving a negative wave of backlash to those who do like his character. I am all for positive emotions, and supporting and liking and disliking whatever characters you'd like! Though, I would like to put this out here just as a way of explaining what I've seen in his character. This is not a professional opinion by any means, but I do have a habit and (ringing my own bell) talent in analyzing different characters from an unbiased point of view.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is not fact, but a closely analyzed opinion. You are free to disagree and I genuinely do not care if you don't like John B! I wrote this because I wanted to and feel it could help. And this is written FOR JOHN B. Don't hit me with comments of “but JJ also” or “but Kie didn't MEAN to” or anything, because I am not writing about them. I’m writing this one for John B, about John B, and how someone would view life through his eyes and with everything that happened.

Now, onto the analysis.

Episode 1:

John B has a wave of issues being presented in not-so friendly forms. A 16 year old is living alone, considering his father has been missing for 9 months. Looking at it that way, he's had to finish his school year while juggling constant jobs to take care to himself, for food, gas, and paying bills, on top of school. Even if it's revealed he missed a lot of school that year, it's hard to blame him. His mom left him when he was still a baby, His uncle by definition also abandoned him, and his father is gone. He's threatened with foster care daily, which means he would lose everything that he has, his home, and his friends, which are the only thing keeping his head above water.

That alone is enough to give him intense abandonment issues. Both parental figures left, his guardian is as he described it “MIA”, so his ability to process how people see him and how he sees relationships is going to be, at best, rocky. He's going to have it in his head that everyone around him can leave at any time and he won't have any sort of say in it. Not to mention the depression and the anxiety that would bubble up from all of this. Depression makes you lash out, anxiety makes you pull away, two things he's shown to have trouble controlling.

He gets an idea for a way to try and make his life better, and get money to support himself, JJ being the one to hype that up despite Kie and Pope being against it.

Come the party later that night at the boneyard. A widespread party with lots of people there, lots of drinking, and comes the fight between Topper and JJ, which led to John B stepping in to protect JJ.

This is the first of many times where John B is almost murdered or killed. Hearing Topper yells “dont make me drown you like your old man”, then being drowned by him, while everyone stood and watched until JJ went off his shits and saved him.

This? Is all just the first episode. A peek into the curtain of how his family abandoned him, then he gets his shit beaten in, and he gets drowned by Topper. This would only worsen his already fragile mental state. At this point, he's ready to call it off, and leave it alone, but JJ gets desperate to help his friend and himself, and he goes along with it. This leads to, again, him getting shot at by the two guys hunting down the compass he stole off the boat. The second time John B is almost killed.

“With no parents, no money, and no one looking out for me, I've got no chance, unless I make it on my own.”

He sees no way out of the hole he's in anymore unless he fights tooth and nail to get out of it, no matter what it takes.

Episode 2:

In this episode, he's got it in his head now that since he found a compass on a wrecked boat, that his dad is trying to reach out to him. When you have abandonment issues as deep-running as John B, any possible chance that someone who left already is trying to come back? You run with it. You cling to it like it is all you have, and for him, it is. This compass is all that he has to go on, and he's desperate to try and figure it out because this is his fathers last way of communicating with him.

He goes to Ms. Lana's house, and has to both watch and listen to two men terrorize her, and he is told vaguely by Ms. Lana that it is horrible that he has the compass. He returns home to talk to his friends, and goes to his dads office for the first time in a long time, and has to relive the fact his fathers gone at that point.

Only for the two guys to come to John B's house. They break in and completely ransack the place, they steal a good chunk of John B's fathers stuff. They have to sneak out of the window and go to hide until the two men leave, but, he has to sit and watch these people break apart his home and steal from him.

After all of that, they go to the lighthouse, where he's thrown into another panic over this compass that no one is telling him about. He's frustrated, and he's scared. They leave the lighthouse and in a complete blind instinct of adrenaline, he kisses Kie, and gets rejected by her. Then, he gets arrested, questioned, and has to get bailed out by Kie's dad, who insults him. Now Kie won't talk to him, and he has to go home to his damaged house.

He also has to get fired from hi only stable job, so now he has no money and no job, a damaged home, and lost a friend for now.

Not only that, but he does get hunted down by those two men again, and is almost killed for thr 3rd time, and runs through an electric fence, where he's almost killed the 4th time. He gives up his fathers compass, and while ull of hurt and despair for everything, returns home to try and move past everything, but he catches another glimpse of possibility, and he clings to it all over again.

And, his urge and crave to hunt down his dad only grows as they find the Redfield tomb thingy and find the package left behind by Big John.

Episode 3:

It starts off with John B having to sit through the emotion that comes with hearing his fathers voice for the first time in 9 months. The pain and the confusion and how much he missed him rushing back, it's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it is draining, and it doesn't feel good.

He talks to everyone about how he just wants to have a normal life, and stop stressing so much about damn near everything.

He's decently up in this episode, but his actions only worsen. He encourages stealing, and puts himself into risky situations. This is the bud of the suicidal/reckless tendencies he starts to develop as he starts to lose regard for his own safety, because subconsciously, he sees no point in caring about what happens to himself and those around him. This is where he gets desperate for a reason to keep existing, because he lost every other one that he had.

Episode 4:

In this episode, they find the merchant. They track it down and find it's empty, but John B isn't ready to give up.

He gets met, unfortunately, with DCS, who force him to pack, and start to take him away. In an attempt to not leave behind anything? He jumps from a moving vehicle, and is now being hunted down for the first time.

He's taken in by Sarah.

DISCLAIMER: OPINION.

This is where we see Sarah see that things with John B aren't cookie cutter. She knows hes plotting something, and she wants to get away from her Kook life and do something different and exciting. So, she tags along for the ride. Her and John B go out and Sarah puts John B into a situation where he is being led on by her, despite her being in a relationship. But, her desperation to break from her box gets the best of her, and John B clings to that romance, because a romantic relationship has a more solid foundation than a friendship to him. They're less likely to leave him. So, he wants to run with it.

This is a huge part of why he kissed Kie. In his eyes, if he's dating them, maybe they wont leave, but he can't have that same situation with just a friend. He knows that, and this is where he starts to push away his friends. Bite before you can get bitten, it's depression + abandonment issues 101.

Episode 5:

This one is.. a mess. Its a mess.

We start right off the bat with John B realizing that he can't go home anymore. JJ and John B get into a pretty nasty argument. JJ is concerned for his friend, and he wants him to be safe and stop all of this, naturally, but to John B? He hears JJ trying to give him on him, to abandon him, and to leave all of this. He reacts to this by lashing out at him, yelling at him, and talking about how he just wants to stop because he got beat up. Which, John B is still under the assumption it was just the Kooks, when it was both the Kooks and his father – something John B didn't catch onto. After they yell at eachother, John B has JJ following him again. It's a safe zone once more in John B's mind.

Then, after the party is crashed and they all meet up, John B tries to explain that Sarah got wrapped up into all of this. He has Kie, Pope, and even if JJ knew already, he's not too happy about it either. So he's got everyone mad at him for this, and even if spirits are high in terms of his recklessly driven hunt, he sees everyone around him getting angrier, and angrier. And that? Is making him angry too.

He goes to meet Sarah at the hawks nest. And once again, he is almost killed. He's shoved off of it by none other than Topper (who has tried to murder him twice now), and plummets, and ends up in the hospital.

But things can start to turn around, because Ward took him in and he has a legal guardian now, right?

No.

Ward is plotting to keep John B under his nose to make sure he doesn't find anything else out.

Episode 6:

Again, not much happens here. Things seem to be going good and despite Wards want for John B laying low, he doesn't. He finds the gold.

Episode 7:

Here, we  have another instance in which JJ's bad ideas get John B (and everyone) put into danger. After trying to pawn off the gold, they get stopped by Barry, who threatens to kill him and robs them. John B is quick to jump into the line of fire and get the gold back, desperate to keep it. He succeeds, but JJ barrels into Barrys house and robs him. JJ manhandles John B a good few times for trying to stop him.

And nearing the end of this, he's told by Ward that Ward knows about the gold, and wants John B to give it all up.

John B says no. He's gotten this far and can't lose it all to Ward. Not only that? But he finds out Ward had something to do with his father disappearing. That sort of news is heartbreaking. John B snaps just a little more, but so does Ward.

Episode 8:

John B and ward get into it. Ward is messy and doesn't hesitate to try and kill John B while they're on the boat. Again, for the 7th time, John B is almost killed, but escapes it just in time to keep going.

He goes to Lana, who explains that Ward was the one who killed his father. He finds out now that the man he trusted and the man that took him in both wanted to steal from him, and murdered his only parent? That's too much to carry for any one person.

Ward tells authorities John B tried to kill him, and he's being hunted down even more than he was before.

He sees now that again, all of his friends are both worried and angry with him. He's panicking at this point. He's stuck on the run and can't seem to catch a break, more so now that Ward figured out where the gold is, and sees him trying to leave with it.

Episode 9:

John B now is framed for the murder of Peterkin. He's almost killed by Rafe at the runway, and is now on the run again. He's facing major charges and none of them are of things he actually ever did.

John B has no choice but to run away from the OBX, from the US< and try and figure out what to do with himself from there.

He's almost killed by Rafe, again, because he set the bell tower ablaze.

But he manages to escape long enough so everyone can put together the pieces of his escape plan.

Episode 10:

He leaves. He leaves with Sarah on the boat, but of course, power has to go back on, and they lose their cover. They're both hunted down, chased out to sea, and is considered dead because of the storm. He survives again, but just by the skin of his teeth.

Looking back on everything that happened to  him just in these episodes, on top of knowing he had to deal with his father being gone for months without a clue of how to take care of himself, plus the fact he's now headed for his gold without anything but one bar and the clothes on his back?

John B quite literally lost everything. He lost his family, his home, his friends, his job, everything that kept his head above water, yet, he's expected to be the strong one, and the leader of the group.

He has expectations that he cant meet, and he's getting the wrong kind of help for his issues. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, abandonment issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if various forms of PTSD stemmed from everything that's happened to him. In no way is John B a perfect person. He is a flawed and complex character, who made poor choices, and acted out in bad ways, but, the entire gang is guilty of doing some bad things too.

JJ's aggression and lack of impulse control.

Pope's passive aggression and constant cold shoulder to not getting what he wants.

Kie's hostility and lack of self restraint.

Topper's sexism and abusiveness.

Rafe's drug abuse and abusiveness.

Again, you are so more than welcome to dislike and like whatever characters you want! Though, I hope this point of view can help clear up some of the thing's ive seen on John B being irredeemable and a bad friend to everyone.

John B is a wonderfully written, intense, lovable character, and I wanted to share my thoughts on him, his trauma, and his life! If anyone wants to see more deep character analysis', don't be afraid to request them! I enjoy doing them!

- jv

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 7 impressions

Previously: 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

In real world Halloween might have been a month ago, but in the world of Is The Order a Rabbit it’s exactly the season for all things spooky. And maybe things become a little too supernatural for a slice of life show. In the last episode we’ve seen how BLOOM symbolizes the growth of the characters. And as we enter the second half of the season, another meaning is revealed...

But first let’s visit Ama Usa An, where horror-loving Chiya is decorating the traditional Japanese teahouse for Halloween. Since Halloween is decidedly not a traditional Japanese holiday, it looks kinda surreal, but Chiya’s grandmother is more worried about souls of the dead coming back to life, especially that of Chino’s grandfather (see season 2 episode 9 for more of their backstory). Of course the soul of Chino’s grandfather isn’t actually dead, but is inhabiting the body of a rabbit. It’s not clear how exactly this happened and Cocoa might have been involved.

Speaking of Cocoa, we see her practicing with the magic set she bought in the first episode of the season. She tries to make something appear in her hand, but nothing happens. Clearly you can’t just learn to summon matter into existence in Gochiusa world, or can you? Anyway the shot focuses on a candy laying on a table before the opening sequence cuts in. This must be the object Cocoa has tried to summon and it’s also clearly a foreshadowing for something.

Meanwhile, Maya and Megu are trick-or-treating in matching werewolf(?) outfits hoping to score some free candy. Interestingly the tradition of giving out candy on Halloween has descended from a medieval practice of sharing so-called “soul cakes” which represented the souls of the dead.

Meanwhile the staff of Rabbit House are dressed as vampires. The theme of vampires fighting werewolves brings up to mind the Twilight series although I’m sure the idea came up many times throughout history. If you look closer, you’ll notice that Cocoa, Rize and Megu have fake fangs (I think Maya’s is natural), although they’re not consistently drawn between scenes, even though in the manga they’re drawn correctly. Maybe they’ll fix this in BD. The only one whose fang is not shown is Chino, and ironically she is the one who actually bites somebody.

Also the flashback of Chino “roaring” at the mirror reminded me of the scene from Celestial Method where Noel (also voiced by Minase Inori) roars at a dinosaur standee. To be fair it sounds completely different but I just can’t help but compare them.

Also while I was browsing through my copy of volume 6 I found a cute illustration card that seems to be relevant to this episode, but includes Mocha and Cocoa as the wolves and Chino as the vampire (here’s a highres version).

I think I bought this particular volume in Japan on the day it was released. Good times...

Next MaMe go to Fleur de Lapin and are greeted by Sharo dressed as Little Red Riding Hood (bunny version). This costume appeared earlier in an illustration for the rabbit chapter from the previous episode.

This is also a rare scene where other employees of Fleur de Lapin can be seen, as usually Sharo is shown working there alone. Even in the manga, Sharo is the only employee shown in this scene. In the end it turns out that Sharo is a wolf in disguise and craving for some meat. Which is weird because Sharo hasn’t been shown eating or cooking any meat before.

Anyway, next stop is Ama Usa An, which is called the Witch’s Mansion now. Chiya mentions the beginning of the Sabbath, and the manga chapter’s title 今宵は甘兎サバト also mentions the Sabbath. This might be confusing because in Judaism and Christianity the Sabbath is the day of rest and happens weekly (on Saturday or Sunday). However since we’re talking about witches, this actually references the Wiccan concept of sabbat, or one of eight festivals in the Wiccan calendar. In particular, Samhain, one of the four Greater Sabbats pretty much coincides with Halloween and celebrates the beginning of winter.

Chiya does this thing where the protagonist’s hand hurts only to awaken their dark powers, I’m not really sure where this trope comes from but I’ve seen it referenced in anime before and it’s a common chuunibyo stereotype. In this case, Chiya did really just hurt her hand. There’s also some sort of runic circle drawn on her bandages, but if you look closer it says shiratama anmitsu matcha parfait in hiragana.

Maya and Megu agree to help Chiya, and become her “familiars”. Even though familiars are better known as a video game mechanic today (which is what the “level up” scene references), witches were associated with familiar spirits since medieval times. A familiar often took form of a small animal, such as a cat. Unfortunately MaMe don’t even know which animal they are, so clearly they didn’t take their backstory as seriously as Chiya did. Their ears and tails look canine to me, so I can see Megu being a fox spirit, but Maya being a cat is less believable. Also during their confrontation Megu confirms that Maya’s fang is her yaeba (snaggle tooth).

As a revenge for the trick MaMe pulled on her, Chiya gives them a selection of pumpkin tarts, one of which is laced with wasabi (which she calls ”Russian roulette”). This seems like a common thing for her, since she did the same with botamochi in season 2 episode 6, and with green tea in season 2 episode 7 (except she used aojiru instead of wasabi). However this time, it was Chiya’s grandmother who put wasabi in two of the tarts, unbeknownst to Chiya. By the way in the manga it wasn’t shown that Chiya got one of the wasabi tarts.

Chiya goes shopping for some pumpkins, but is helped by Rize, and later Sharo gives her anti-pain medications, reminding her of how Chiya tended for her when she was sick in season 1 episode 12. It’s not mentioned in the anime, but Rize also had a “motivation” for helping Chiya, as she hurt her leg before (see season 2 episode 2). Chiya invites Rize and Sharo to dinner and brings up the wasabi-laced pumpkin tarts. According to Chiya the probability of getting wasabi is 1/3. Initially there were 7 tarts, of which 2 had wasabi. Megu, Maya and Chiya eat one each, with Chiya’s having wasabi in it. That leaves 4 tarts with 1 wasabi, so either Chiya’s calculation is incorrect, or somebody ate one more tart.

Apparently last day was just a warm up to Halloween (All Hallow’s Eve’s Eve?), so next day Megu and Maya come to Chiya again and try to summon something. A larger and slightly different version of the runic circle previously seen on Chiya’s hand starts glowing and we see that the 3 white rabbits correspond to three people holding hands. There’s also Anko corresponding to the black rabbit in the middle. By the way, in the manga the sign on Chiya’s hand was just a hexagram, and the summoning ritual didn’t have any visible symbols.

Anyway, they want to summon a messenger from demon world/hell, and coincidentally Cocoa and Chino come in (dressed as vampires) and try to attack (cuddle) them. Chiya, Maya and Megu form New Chimame-tai which works because Chiya and Chino have the same first syllable. However Chi is written with kanji instead of katakana in this version (because Chiya’s name 千夜  is one of the few given names among Gochiusa characters that’s always written with kanji). This defeats Chino, and Chiya consoling Chino like a big sister defeats Cocoa as well.

Ok let’s move on to part B, which is the really important part of the episode. The streets of the town are filled with people dressed in various costumes. Cocoa’s classmates can be seen among the crowd, and Aoyama and Rin are enjoying a boat ride on River Sanzu.

Our main character have also prepared some new costumes for the occasion. First we see Chino, dressing up as Phantom Thief Lapin, while Rize is going as a police officer. Soon Chiya and Sharo join them, who somehow independently of each other also went with a Lapin costume. At least Sharo had a good excuse. For Chiya, Lapin’s gloves obscure the bandage on her hand, so maybe that’s why she chose this costume. But what about Cocoa?

Well, she kinda got lost and we find her at the location that you will recognize if you read my episode 5 review. Cocoa says it looks a little different than usual, almost like a different world (isekai). Well, there’s a lot of evidence to support this hypothesis. First, in a scene that parallels episode 1, Cocoa finds a lost child and tries to calm her down with a magic trick. However you might notice that the child’s head is literally a pumpkin with a moving mouth.

And her mother is also a pumpkinhead. Cocoa doesn’t encounter any other people during this segment, even though you’d think a spot that overlooks the town like this would be quite popular. Well, she does encounter one more person, a mysterious masked magician with an angora rabbit on her head. She also wears a G-clef pendant indicating some sort of music connection.

Now, since y’all had already watched the episode, it wouldn’t be a spoiler to say that this is the ghost of Chino’s mother, Saki. The rabbit on her head is the ghost of the original Tippy before its body was taken over by Chino’s grandfather. The original Tippy was a female rabbit, by the way, a fact established early on in the series. In Sing for You OVA (for which I wrote a not-very-detailed review by the way) it’s established that Saki was a singer and even had a record released.

Anyway, as a ghost, Saki doesn’t speak (although she still can giggle and such) and doesn’t physically interact with Cocoa (only indirectly, by casting candies at Cocoa). Nevertheless she does teach Cocoa how to do the candy trick correctly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group tries to call Cocoa’s phone but she doesn’t answer. This is another evidence for isekai theory. Cocoa is just out of range, you see. Rize and Sharo swap their costumes (the most unrealistic part of the episode) and Sharo starts “policing” the Lapins on how the real Lapin would talk. Chiya has a bright idea to shout out for Cocoa and call her big sister. However Cocoa would obviously only react if Chino calls her that, so Rize encourages Chino to say it louder (referencing her training for the choir in Sing for You).

Cocoa and Saki hear Chino, and Saki looks at her daughter from the terrace. Chino also looks up... but doesn’t see anything. She does get a hunch that there’s something up there though, so the group finds Cocoa eventually. Meanwhile Saki feels like her time is up and makes for a quick exit, literally disappearing.

This is where Cocoa returns to the “real world”, as the current Tippy calls out for her. Why was Tippy with Cocoa anyway in the first place? Cocoa looks around and there are in fact lots of people there as expected.

Cocoa thinks that Tippy speaking is an evidence of a ghost, despite her interacting with a real ghost just a few moments before. The 3 Lapins arrive and start arguing who is the real Lapin. Chino says that it’s the one who gets away with everything in the end, implying she will take the whole Cocoa for herself. However Sharo arrests Cocoa for making everyone worry.

On the way back, Chiya recalls the legend which was also mentioned by her grandmother at the beginning of the episode about the spirits of the ancestors coming back for this one day and then returning to heavens. Chino looks up to the sky, while Tippy gives her a solace in the fact that he was once again turned away, implying that he expected to return to heaven with the other spirits.

Tippy also seemed to know what Cocoa was talking about in an earlier scene where Cocoa said she forgot to give thanks to somebody. Just what’s up with Tippy and why is he not allowed to enter Heaven is a big mystery here.

Cocoa also notices Chino being distressed and shows her the magic trick with the candy. It turns out Chino remembers this trick from her childhood, and we get to see a full flashback with Chino’s mother even getting a few speaking lines (delivered by none other but Nana Mizuki). Since the candy was probably a part of the magic set, it’s no coincidence that it has the exact same wrapper in the flashback. The color of the candy matches with Chino’s clothes at the time but you can also think of it as a combination of Saki’s white and Chino’s blue.

By the way, in the manga Cocoa conjures up two candies, and they have a plain wrapping so there wasn’t One Specific Candy like in the anime. Also in the flashback, Chino is carried by her grandfather. His face is not shown, but Takahiro is seen in the background (with Rize’s dad) so by exclusion it had to be him. And in the current scene Chino is the one carrying Tippy like this.

The episode ends with Cocoa asking Chino to tell her more about her mother, while a star is seen rising in the sky, presumably symbolizing Saki’s spirit.

Let’s go back to Cocoa meeting Saki scene one more time. Like I explained, it’s heavily implied that Cocoa isn’t really in the same world as the other characters when she meets Saki’s ghost. Of course Gochiusa had supernatural elements from the start, such as a certain talking rabbit who happens to be Chino’s grandfather. But now we have a ghost of Chino’s mother and Cocoa is the only one who can see her, but Chino can’t? Just what the heck is going on here?

But wait, there is a rational explanation for all of this! Cocoa had a hallucination triggered by all the Halloween celebrations. She imagines helping a lost child just like Chino did before (and told Cocoa about it later) and then imagines the ghost of Saki teaching her magic, because subconsciously she wants to be like Saki. She had seen Saki before on a photograph, but haven’t heard her speak, which is why the ghost can’t talk to her. Hearing Chino call her onee-chan brings Cocoa back to her senses. But how did Cocoa learn the trick if it was just her imagination? Well, consider the fact that she was practicing this exact trick at the beginning of the episode. By the time she shows it to Chino, she has already practiced it a lot of times, but maybe she only realized the crucial part (feint) during the hallucination. Either way, the blue striped candy wasn’t given to Cocoa by Saki, she had it from the start, as part of the magic set! The candies that Saki uses to show the trick to Cocoa all disappear when Cocoa returns to reality.

Saki appears one more time in the bar time scene with Takahiro, who is listening to her record Silver Spoon from Sing for You OVA and then calls her by name. I think this is the only time the name “Saki” is mentioned in the show itself, and it’s not mentioned in the manga at all (unless maybe in some recent chapters which I haven’t read yet). The first time it was revealed was during April Fool’s day Clockwork Rabbit event, as a solution to a “puzzle”. Her name is written in katakana as サキ, however one of possible readings of the word “saki” is 咲き which means “bloom”. Now consider how the last few seconds of the opening animation it cuts from a blooming field of dandelions to Saki:

The dandelions connection to Saki was previously seen in season 2 episode 1 and Sing for You. Saki’s character design doesn’t really say “blooming of dandelions” to me, but consider that a dandelion turns into this:

Now that’s more like it! Although it reminds me of Tippy as well. Anyway, that was a very mysterious episode of Gochiusa BLOOM and let’s see what happens next! Only 5 episodes remain...

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever had a computer virus before? Not with any of my Apple laptops, which I’ve been getting for over 10 years now. Prior to that, I did have a few issues with viruses. Not fun.

Are you dependent upon anyone? >> Of course. Everyone’s dependent on someone, even if only indirectly. <<< True. I’m also very dependent upon my family, especially my mom.

Are there any book characters you’d like to portray? Uh, I don’t want to portray any character. I’m definitely no actor.

Who did you last text? My dad.

Is there anything on your bed right now? Yeah, several pillows, my bedsheets, my throw blanket, a few stuffed animals, a coloring book, a couple sets of colored pencils, two little pencil sharpeners, a little notebook, a book, an Nintendo Switch, my laptop, my phone, the chargers for aforementioned electronics... lol my bed is also my desk since I spend majority of my time in bed.

When was the last time you went to the grocery store? Back in early March. Prior to this quarantine/lockdown, I went with my mom twice a month. Since all that began, she’s just been going. We’ve been using the online order thing. What way would you like to die when it’s your time? Peacefully.

What are you most afraid of in the world? Death, diseases, violence, losing loved ones... Have you ever been caving? No.

Do you do well in math related things? Noooo. Me and math never got along.

What is your favorite fruit? Bananas. 

If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with? My younger brother and I already live in the same house.

Do you have any tattoos? Nope.

Are you planning on getting any in the near future? No.

When was your last date? Four years ago.

When did you get Facebook? Sometime in 2008.

What was your first pet’s name? Buster.

Are you good when it comes to computer issues? Uhh, depends what the issue is. If it involves the hardware itself then no.

Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you? No job.

What was the last book you read? Don’t Tell by Willow Rose. I’m just starting, The Girl and the Hunt by AJ Rivers, which is the 6th book in a series.

Have you ever read any books in one day? Yeah, several.

What was the last thing you bought? A couple shirts and masks from Young and Reckless. The masks are black and say, “Keep your distance.” The shirts are black and say that as well in tiny font on the upper right side and on the back it says, “Thank you for staying away” in big font. I got one for my mom as well because it seemed like the perfect shirt for her to wear to work lol.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Is there any jewelry you wear constantly? Nope. 

Are your fingernails painted at the moment? Nope.

Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors? >> I like a variety of colours for different reasons. <<<

Have you ever taken art classes? Just an art history class in college.

What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen? Hmm. I’m blanking.  Do you know how to work a cash register? I’ve never used one.

Fact or fiction novels? I’m more of a fiction gal.

Have you ever suffered from depression? Yeah, it’s been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember, but these past few years have most definitely been the worst. Depression won.

Do you think you’re a clingy person? I can be when it comes to my mom. 

Do you enjoy kisses on the cheek? Uhh depending on who it’s from.

Have you ever been in a physical fight before? No.

How often would you say you disagree with your parents? We definitely have our disagreements, but I don’t know how often I’d say they are. A lot of them are about the same things.

What color shirt did you wear yesterday? >> Black.

Do you have a job? If so, do you like it? Nope.

Have you ever been called a slut before? I’ve had friends say it as a joke.

What’s something you’ve been craving? A day at the beach. D:

Have you ever slept with your window open? Yeah.

Can you play violin? I took lessons in 4th grade, but I didn’t enjoy it. Just wasn’t my thing. I stuck it out for the whole year, though.

What was the last desert you had? Brownies.

Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet? No.

Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won’t talk to in person? No.

What color are your mother’s eyes? Brown.

Do you have a best friend? If so, how long have you been best friends? All 30 years of my life.

Do you cry easily? Yeah. Somedays I’m just on the verge of tears all day and anything can set it off. 

Have you ever been into a court room? I think during a field trip in elementary school.

How many necklaces would you say you own? Hmm. Maybe five.

Do you plan on being strict towards your children? I plan on not having children. I’m going to be 31 soon and feel strongly about not having children and I just don’t see something super drastic happening that makes me change my mind. But I’d be even older if something drastic did happen, so probably not even then. I’m meant to have doggos. (:

Do you own any tie-dye shirts? Yeah, a few.

What would you say is your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same for me, really.

Do you ever wear lipstick? I haven’t in a long time.

Do you own a pool? Nope.

Do you have a Tumblr account? Never heard of it.

Would you say you’re overweight? No. I’m actually too underweight.

How many colors are in your hair? Well, it’s mostly red, but my roots are starting to grow out. It’s not too bad, yet.

Do you flirt with a lot of people? I’m not a flirtatious person in general. If I flirt, it’s with someone I’m interested in and have been talking to. I don’t flirt with everyone or with people I don’t know.

How many bank accounts do you have? Just one.

Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yes.

How old are you? 30.

Do you attend church regularly? Not physically, but a local church uploads their service every Sunday to watch or listen to and I’ve been watching that even before the lockdown/quarantine. Since then, they’ve been live streaming since they can’t meet in person.

Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? There’s a lot of songs where the lyrics just speak to me as they say and I really relate to them.

What time did you wake up this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but I assume I’ll get up sometime between 1 and 3 since that’s how it’s been the past few months.

What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? ^^^

What kind of car do you drive? I don’t drive.

What kind of car would you like to have? Not something I’ve given much thought.

Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? Not since I was a kid. I remember liking the blizzard things.

How old did you turn on your last birthday? This is just another way of asking how old I am, which you already asked me.

Ever felt like falling apart? Oh yes. I’ve felt like I’ve fallen apart and like I’m going to fall apart, just barely hanging on. I’m always just trying to keep it together. I’m like Humpty Dumpty who couldn’t quite be put back together again.

Have you ever been in an ambulance? Yes.

Do you tend to worry a lot? Yepppp.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? Like 6, I think.

Do you remember your first time on the internet? It was when I was 9 or 10.

Which website do you email from? Yahoo.

Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Sure. I love getting them myself when on vacation and I’d certainly appreciate if someone brought me something from theirs.

Do you get angry with people easily? Not angry, but irritated and frustrated. 

Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? I feel like I’m just not even on the radar for most people.

Have you ever had the flu? Yes.

What about strep throat? Yes. It’s been a longggg time, though.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? No, but I need to.

What’s the worst part about school? For me it was that I just got so overwhelmed and stressed out so easily.

Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school?

When was your last vacation? Back in early February. I can’t believe that even happened this year because quarantine/lockdown has felt like 84 years.

Would you ever consider going on a cruise? I’ve thought about it and they do sound fun, but... I don’t think I could.

What did you last buy from the store? A few Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks.

Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? All I really know is being single, so I can’t really say for sure. I do miss being interested in someone and talking to someone in that way, though, and the very little experience I do have with dating. It’s best for me to be single, though.

Do you try to stay busy a lot? I spend my days with my usual go-to distractions. I wouldn’t call that keeping busy, though. I don’t feel like spending all day on various social media platforms, watching YouTube and TV, reading, playing Animal Crossing, and lounging is “busy” if that makes sense. I think of productivity when I think about keeping busy. To me the things I do are just distractions and things to pass the time. Just something to do, ya know? *shrug*

What’s your favorite quote? “Blah.” ha.

Do you lie a lot? I’d be lying if I said I never lie, but I’m not a pathological liar. 

Do you still act childish most of the time? I sure can be stubborn, moody, and whiny like one.

Did you ever enjoy gym class? Nope.

What is your biggest insecurity? I have a lot of insecurities. 

Have you ever painted a room alone? Nope. Or at all.

Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? Never.

What’s for dinner tonight? I don’t know, it’s only 3 in the morning.

Do you ever drink alcohol? Nope.

Have you ever had a terrible hangover? Ugh, yes.

Do you ever get migraines? No, but I get terrible tension headaches.

Do you know how to garden? I don’t do any gardening. Not my thing.

What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? The egg cooker thing to make hard boiled eggs.

Do people consider you to be a funny person? I have my moments.

Do you have any bad habits? Oh do I ever.

Do you like children? If not, why is this? Sure, in small doses. haha.

What is your favorite snack? Deviled eggs. Super random, but they make a delicious snack.

Do you own any gaming systems? I have a Nintendo Switch. I use my brother’s PS4 to access stuff like Netflix or watch DVDs in the living room.

How old were your parents when they had you? Early and mid 20s.

Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? There’s no such person, currently.

Do you trashtalk people a lot? Nah, just myself.

What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? TikTok has been pretty amusing.

Does the future excite you or scare you? It terrifies me.

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? No.

Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? I spend a lot of time with my immediate family. We’re very close, but we also live together so we’re able to do so. I don’t see my extended family very often, and not at all since the quarantine/lockdown.

How often do you shower? Every couple of days.

What would you say is your favorite genre of music? I like a variety of music.

Do you need to clean your bedroom? It could use a little straightening up.

What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? I don’t know. I don’t want to keep going on like I have been the past few years... 

Do you enjoy Chinese food? I like some. I haven’t had any in quite awhile, though. I’ve actually been really wanting potstickers.

Do you smile a lot? *shrug* I give a lot of half smiles.

What is your favorite movie from the nineties? That’s tough. I love a lot about the 90s.

Which decade were you born in? The 80s, albeit halfway through the last year of the decade. 

Are you good at giving advice to people? I think I used to be. Not now.

How many huge secrets do you have? Wouldn’t you like to know? Maybe I have a lot. Maybe I have none. Like the Tootsie Pop owl says, “the world may never know.” Oooh, I’m so ~mysterious.

How many people know these secrets?

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once.

Do you ever floss? Once in awhile, but no not usually. 

Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? No.

Ever considered suicide? If so, did you try to commit suicide? Yes. No. Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? No, I do that to myself.

Do you like texting or calling people more? Text. I don’t like talking on the phone. I don’t a lot of texting either, though.

What’s your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Do you have a lot of friends? I don’t have any friends.

Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? I don’t paint.

Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? Oh, I’m not going out to eat anywhere anytime soon. I don’t care if dine in is slowly becoming an option again. Things are starting to open up again in phases, but please don’t mistake that to mean we’re in the clear and it’s perfectly safe to do so. We’re still very much in the midst of this pandemic. Please don’t be lax about your outings or start going all over the place. 

When did you last babysit, if ever? Not since my brother and a couple of my cousins were kids. They’re all adults now. 

Do you have any younger siblings? Yep, just mentioned my younger brother.

Have you ever thought of someone as useless? I don’t think of others that way, just myself.

Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? Yes and I do.

Do you drink vitamin water? I was super into Vitamin Water back when I was in high school. I haven’t had any in quite a long time.

Do you ever straighten your hair? It’s been a few years since I’ve straightened it myself, but when I go to get my hair done the lady who does my hair straightens it.

What’s the best way to end a conversation? Uhhh it depends? 

Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Yeah, there’s several.

Have you ever had a Big Mac before? Many times. I’ll get a craving for one every now and then.

Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? Haaaaa no, not at all.

Where is your favorite place to travel? Beachy places.

What is your goal for the next few months? Getting through the summer somehow. Next week we’re having a few triple digit weather days.... it’s not even summer, yet. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I can’t even escape to the beach this summer. D:

Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? Sí, en Español.

Do you own a lot of shoes? A few pairs.

What is your favorite season and why? Fall and winter. I just love everything about it--the cold weather, the holidays, the smells, the decor, and just the coziness of it.

Does photography interest you at all? >> Not really. I like looking at photographs other people have taken, though. <<< Yeah, it interests me in that way but I don’t have any interest in taking up photography myself.

Have you ever played on a sports team before? If you have, what was that sport and when? Nope.

Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No.

Do you think you’re a good singer? Nope, I know I’m not. Doesn’t mean I don’t do it anyway at home to myself, though. 

Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? I’ve only been wearing leggings the past few years.

Do you think you have a good sense of style? I like what I wear, which is all that matters.

Do you enjoy reading often? Yes, I love reading.

Ever had food-poisoning before? Yes. Not fun.

Where did you last eat dinner at? We got Wingstop takeout last night if that counts. I haven’t physically been out to eat in months, though.

Have you ever shot a gun before? Yes, once. I went to a shooting range with friends and learned how to hold and shoot one. I don’t know what type it was exactly, but it was a small handheld. It actually made me quite anxious doing so and even just being in that environment, so yeah it was just that one time. 

[queerofcups]

End of the Year Fic Writing Meme

Total number of completed stories: 8

Total word count: hahahahaha, um. 33,082.

Fandom Breakdown: Phandom, Schitt’s Creek.

Overall Thoughts: I moved to an executive position in my job and had a lot less psychic space and free time. I lost a lot of readers because: DnP’s hiatus, lost friends who were highly visible, said some things people didn’t like, wrote less, had less interest in DnP. 

Look, I felt really disengaged from the fandom for a good 9 or 10 months this year. I read a lot more books and a lot less fanfiction than normal. And being in fandom spaces during the height of the hiatus was just unpleasant. A lot of different factors went into me writing less, I just still feel like I have to justify it. 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? Going into the year, I thought I’d write equal to or more than the last years, where I averaged about 100-150k. Obviously that didn’t happen.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Definitely Schitt’s Creek. I might have been hearing about it even in 2018, but I resisted it for a long, long time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? 

On the one hand, the risk was probably not writing. On the other hand, lost the map was one of the most interesting things i’ve written, period and it’ll never in a million years be as popular as some other fic because people aren’t interested in reading a fic tagged post-divorce. That’s really fucking frustrating but did a lot to push me along the way to just...writing the shit I want to write. 

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? Sigh. Like sure, its a goal in the back of my head to get back up to 100-100k, and with the upcoming election, that might happen. Of course with the upcoming election, that might happen, hah. Other than that, I have at least two WIPs that I’m like, fighting with myself tooth and nail to finish, TO COMPLETE!!!, before I start posting them. It’s a real fight y’all, they’re going to be good. 

Other than that, um, I want to write better, more comlex stories. The untitled enemies-to-lovers youtuber!AU (which now has a name, thank god) is primed to be something like light through an open door (maybe even better??). I just have to find the patience and balance to let it become the thing it is. 

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: Bluh. lost the map was quite good and did some stuff with passing time and segmented story telling that was new for me. i also really liked the desert turned to sea.

My most popular story of this year: lost the map, wherein Dan and Phil get divorced and then find their way back to each other. Dan’s an artist, Phil’s a video editor. They are, collectively, a bit of a mess. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: 

Listen! slip a ribbon down is good, quality smut tinged with the real experiences of someone who was a desperately gay girl (well. ~girl) in the early 2000s. I definitely want to write more femslash in 2020. 

Story with the single sexiest moment: Definitely the “you taught me how to kiss” bit in lost the map.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: I don’t write a single thing I wouldn’t say with my whole chest. But also my stories were pretty tame this year. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

Hardest story to write: a lot of the stuff I got around to with waiting to post a story til its finished came up with lost the map. posting unfinished WIPs comes with a lot of instant gratification that I’m really into. It just doesn’t make for the best possible story. its hard to choose writing the best possible story over instant gratification when i *know* how good that gratification feels. even more so when there’s no guarantee that whatever thing you work on for a few months and then publish will actually get that much traction. but I want to write stories that feel good to write and posting WiPs just doesn’t feel good. 

also, from a technical standpoint lost the map covered a lot of time and big emotional swings in this sort of zoomed out way that left me feeling weird. i think it came out really well but it was definitely a wrestling match to get that pacing right. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: slip a ribbon down sure does have some stuff going on, huh?

In conclusion: I think next year will probably look like me posting less often but longer stories? Unless DnP just start producing regular interesting content again and then who the fuck knows what I’ll do. 

[newstfionline]

Headlines

Marine Corps changes strategy (Wall Street Journal) The Marine Corps is undertaking its most sweeping transformation in decades, pivoting from a focus on fighting insurgents in the Middle East to developing the ability to hop from island to island in the western Pacific to bottle up the Chinese fleet. The 10-year plan to revamp the Corps, scheduled to be unveiled this week, follows years of classified U.S. wargames that revealed China’s missile and naval forces to be eroding American military advantages in the region. “China, in terms of military capability, is the pacing threat,” Gen. David Berger, the Marine Corps commandant, said in an interview. “If we did nothing, we would be passed.”

Tooth fairy exempt from Argentina lockdown (Foreign Policy) Argentina’s president has confirmed that although strict measures are in place as the country goes into lockdown, the tooth fairy will still be allowed to roam freely. Responding to a mother on Twitter whose son had just lost his first tooth, President Alberto Fernandez wrote “The tooth fairy can leave rewards for fallen teeth because he is not under quarantine. But the rest of us are…Joaquin should leave the tooth beneath his pillow and enjoy the prize.”

Jury trials suspended in England over coronavirus (Reuters) The head of the judiciary in England and Wales on Monday ordered all jury trials to be suspended to allow new systems to be brought in to cope with government instructions for Britons to avoid unnecessary contact to prevent spreading coronavirus.

As coronavirus surges, a frantic Europe scrambles for hospital beds, ventilators, supplies (Washington Post) A team of firefighters and volunteers turned a 15,000-square-foot hall in a convention center in Vienna into an 880-bed coronavirus hospital over the course of a weekend. Soldiers in Germany, France and Spain have been deployed to help build similar temporary facilities for thousands of patients. Across Europe, tens of thousands of nurses and doctors are being graduated early or called back from retirement. As coronavirus cases surge in the biggest infectious disease crisis to hit European hospitals in a century, officials and health-care workers are scrambling to keep national health systems above water. But countries are competing against one another for medical supplies on an international market that has been sucked dry. To address shortages, Spanish clothes manufacturers are turning their lines to making medical masks, and Parisian perfumers are producing hand sanitizer in an effort that harks back to wartime.

Russia’s Italy aid (Foreign Policy) Russia’s defense ministry said it would send eight mobile medic brigades, special disinfection vehicles, and other medical equipment to Italy under a direct order from President Vladimir Putin. Russia has reported only 306 cases of the coronavirus so far, with one death.

New Delhi on lockdown, and trains are halted (Foreign Policy) New Delhi’s 21 million residents will be placed under lockdown until March 31 as India seeks to confront the coronavirus. On Sunday, Indians observed a “janata” curfew, or people’s curfew, as Indians were encouraged to stay at home until 9 p.m. Although the country has only registered 341 cases of coronavirus so far, experts say that low number could be due to lack of testing. India also halted its train network, the country’s lifeblood.

Chinese attitudes shift as a result of coronavirus: survey (Reuters) The coronavirus outbreak has led to a shift in attitudes in China, with less tolerance of individualistic behavior and a greater tendency to recognize the contributions of others, according to a survey conducted during the epidemic.

Olympics in the balance (Reuters) After Canada and Australia confirmed they would not send athletes to the Tokyo Olympics if it went ahead this year, other nations are now going public with calls for a delay. Poland said it was impossible in the current situation for athletes to train properly, and Ireland’s Olympics chief has suggested next year is now a more viable time slot. That came as Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe acknowledged for the first time the Games may need to be postponed if they could not be held in their “complete form”.

Autocrats and the coronavirus (NYT) Crisis management, like war, is politics by other means. The most glaring example of this right now may be in Israel. Last week, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had a pliant Justice Ministry postpone his arraignment on corruption charges, while coronavirus-induced paralysis has stalled the formation of Israel’s new government after elections this month. The absence of a functional government has prevented the country’s newly elected parliament from pushing through legislation that could prevent an indicted politician like him from becoming prime minister. Meanwhile, Netanyahu is playing up his role as commander in chief, staging daily national security briefings alongside allies. “If Trump’s aim is to rally his voters for the upcoming election, Netanyahu’s is to make opposition voters forget the results of the previous one,” wrote Bernard Avishai in the New Yorker. Talks to forge a unity government have so far stalled. The prime minister and his colleagues “have shut down parliament, enacted extreme ‘security’ measures without legislative oversight and shelved the courts just as Netanyahu was about to go on trial for corruption,” wrote Israeli commentator Gershom Gorenberg for The Washington Post. “I don’t use the word ‘coup’ lightly. But any weaker description of Netanyahu’s assault on Israeli democracy is a refusal to absorb and report the truth.”

An illiberal ally of the Israeli leader, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban, is also exercising new coronavirus-enabled powers. After spending days linking the contagion to illegal migration, Orban and his nationalist government extended an emergency law with new provisions that could potentially be used to criminalize critical press. “Orban would be allowed to announce steps to contain the pandemic via decrees until the government no longer sees it as necessary, according to the draft legislation published on the parliament website late Friday,” noted Bloomberg News. Critics warned that this was just the latest subversion in Orban’s decade-long takeover of the country’s democratic system. “Step by step, the governing majority extinguished the professional, organizational, and financial autonomy of public institutions, while putting such control mechanisms in place that ensure the prime minister’s decision making power in all significant policy areas,” wrote David Vig, director of Amnesty International in Hungary.

And the United States isn’t immune, either. President Trump’s Department of Justice is reportedly seeking expanded emergency powers, including provisions for judges to have the power to detain people indefinitely. It’s unlikely to be accepted by Congress.

[honeyvoicehwang]

Writing Quiz

tagged by @ph0ebevix

1) what is your ideal setting for writing?

actually, a really good question.  i have to either be on the move or really in the groove to write well.  something that has also proven to be good is when i’m in class.  but i have a difficult time just sitting there and writing because i can’t seem to focus (i’m trying to get tested for adhd but it’s hard with corona - there are a lot of other factors included), and i have to have something in the background, but my conditions are just so insanely specific and constantly changing so it’s really a wild ride and is more guess-and-check than anything.  but moving around and staying in one place for only a few minutes makes me write best.

2) what is your favorite genre to write?

my favorite genre to write is either tooth rotting fluff or hurt/comfort.  i find smut easy to write and it tends to get more attention than my fluffy fics, so it’s really hard, but i’m a huge huge fan of hurt/comfort and i’m currently writing an angst and hurt/comfort series for haikyuu that will be on my haikyuu account @tkagayama

3) do you prefer writing on paper or digitally?

i do both.  most of the time, i start physically on paper and then i edit by writing digitally, but if i’m doing something like nanowrimo, i write almost solely digitally because i’m just typing into the website and it’s easier for me to do it that way, unless i’m in class and cannot use my phone/laptop.  hell, i’ve even been in gym class and because i always have a pen or marker on me, i’ve written on my arms and legs and even my torso when i got desperate and my teacher was like “what the fuck” and my friend was like “this is-- just a normal occurrence,, don’t question it” and immediately typed it when i got home bc gym was my last class of the day.

4) it’s the middle of the night and you wake up with an idea, what do you do?

depends.  what i try to do is go to my notes app and write as many of the details as i can down and some lines if they come to me, but if i have the entire thing or i literally can’t stop thinking about it, i will just start writing it.  but chances are i’m already up oop.

5) who is your favorite person to write about?

i don’t know.  it always changes.  i’m in a ton of different fandoms, ranging from one direction to harry potter to anime to k-pop, so it’s always sort of changing.  i’ll say for the past few months, it’s been a rotating cycle of stray kids members as well as the haikyuu characters and i have a huge series coming up, like i mentioned before.  that’s been the most fun for me because i can gauge their personalities really well and that shows through in my writing, but i have also been told that my characterization of shane madej and ryan bergara from buzzfeed/unsolved is really good as well.

6) do you like making your own characters or do you usually write about real people?

as someone who does want to be a published author in the future, i thoroughly enjoy writing my own characters as well as writing people that do exist and characters that already exist.  all of them except for three that i can think of off the top of my head are my babies and i will protect my own mind children with my life.  precious babies deserve to be protected, especially reno,, such a babie.  now, if only i could STICK TO MY OWN PLOTS AND NOT WRITE FANFICTION I’LL BE GOLDEN. 

7) have you ever written a book or story with more than 15 chapters/100k words?

yes.  my longest fic is currently 45k words (i think, i have to check the google doc again), but i’d rather it would die so i will not be providing links and it is 20 chapters.  i am working on another fic (shyan, can be found on my ao3  and is currently 30k words and is 15 chapters, but will be 21 chapters when i’m done with it).  as for novels, i have about 16 chapters, but planned about 25 or so for a novel i’m putting to the side for now and it resides at about 35k, i forget exactly. 

8) how often do you get ideas?

depends.  sometimes something will happen in my life to impact a story idea (like my current one i’m working on that will be uploaded here in a day or two that i mentioned in my last post that will have a sfw and an nsfw counterpart uwu), or i’ll see something and go “i need a story with this in it” or it’ll just happen.  i don’t have them all the time, but i do get more chaptered ideas than one shot ideas, though it doesn’t seem like it because i don’t post everything i write.

9) do you ever get an idea that you really like and just can’t seem to finish?

absolutely.  i have plenty of ideas that i’ve started and lost interest in or can’t continue.  if that’s the case, i take them down because i’m a firm believer in not letting people down with “last updated 3739 years ago,” but if it’s one that i’m just taking forever to write like my shyan fic (going on a year) or the one that i won’t link (took three years to write), i’ll let people know that every once in a while that it’s not forgotten about or abandoned, i’m just having massive writer’s block with the story or the chapter i’m working on, but will eventually come out. 

10) what is your least favorite plot?

my least favorite plot to read has to be mythical type stories.  they aren’t done right and are absolute hell to get through (i.e: mermaids, fairies, demons, angels, pirates [not like the actual somalian pirates but the pirates of the carribean-type pirates], etc) and it just sucks oops.  i also don’t like reading overly gory stories but that’s generally just not my cup of tea.  i also really hate reading little/non-sexual age play fics unless it’s done in a hella specific way, but i’ve found very few fics that actually cover it well so i just tend to avoid them like the plague.

my least favorite plot to write as i recently found out, is fighting!  i’m writing a mafia au and you will literally find, like, no fighting in it whatsoever because it’s a bitch to  write and i have no experience (i used to go to the library for fun -- what do you expect), and sports type of fics/stories.  it’s just too hard for me and i don’t understand how most games work and i don’t have the patience to sit there and learn the sport just to write it accurately, soooo... yeah.

11) tag writer friends

i have no writer friends that weren’t already tagged so uwu this is open to anyone that wants to.

[beca-mitchell]

love you like that

summary: there’s a (second) first time for everything. Set in between Chapters 9 and 10 of remember the day (amnesia au).

Rated M for sex. Title refers to “love you like that” by dagny.

Also on AO3.

word count: 3,528

Chloe enjoys learning new things.

If there’s something she can draw from her memory loss, it’s that she gets to relearn a million and one new (old) things every day, about ninety percent of them having to do with Beca Mitchell.

Now that they’re dating, Chloe gets to learn a whole host of new things, like what sounds Beca makes when she kisses her on the neck, how soft Beca’s skin is, warmed by Chloe’s hands roaming up the expanse of her back.

Now that they’re dating, Chloe gets to kiss Beca’s cheek, kiss Beca’s jaw, and then her lips – and how Beca responds.

Chloe can tell that there’s something holding Beca back, like she’s afraid Chloe will bolt at any moment; like she’s afraid Chloe will leave her.

Despite the brevity of this dating period – there’s an odd sort of disconnect when Chloe tries to think about how the two timelines reconcile themselves in her mind – Chloe finds herself wanting Beca. It’s a warmth that started somewhere in her chest and has spread through her body like a pleasant fire. She can’t find it in herself to quell it, not when Beca’s entire existence seems to draw her in with every passing moment.

Chloe learns, especially on this day, that she likes the possessive way Beca holds her waist – the way her hands flex and her fingers tighten into the fabric of Chloe’s clothes.

Of course, Beca’s lips are another thing altogether. Beca kisses her with the kind of simmering passion that only proves disappointing when Beca herself retreats, gliding her hands down and away from Chloe’s body, but usually not without a last parting kiss.

Now, Beca says, gently, “we should stop.”

Chloe can’t think of anything else to say because she’s still breathing a little heavily and Beca’s neck is a little flushed and- and all she can manage is an equally quiet “okay.”

Chloe wants to learn everything about Beca.

The fact is, it’s all already more than Beca could have ever imagined after that fateful day in the hospital when she realized that her own fiancée couldn’t remember who she was.

She’s more than willing to let Chloe process everything about the newness of their relationship, even if all she longs for sweet kisses across warm skin, the gentle weight of Chloe’s body on top of hers, and bright mornings with tender touches to exposed skin.

Beca thinks that Chloe is as beautiful as ever, though there’s a mild uncertainty with which she carries herself. It makes Beca wants to pull at her hands and implore her not to hide away; it makes Beca wants to throw herself into Chloe’s arms and kiss her for all she’s worth – and while she supposes that’s appropriate given the fact that they’re dating seriously, she doesn’t want to frighten Chloe off into another state of mind. She can’t imagine losing Chloe, not when she finally has her again.

(Not when she’s already lost her once.)

Now, Beca watches the way Chloe fiddles with the television’s volume before leaping back into bed and throwing Beca’s duvet around both their bodies. Beca grins at the way Chloe burrows into both the blanket and Beca’s side, immediately sliding an arm snugly across Beca’s waist.

“What’s on the agenda for tonight?” Beca asks, when Chloe uses Beca’s remote to scroll to the Netflix app.

“I’m kind of tired,” Chloe says. “Movie and then sleep?”

Beca watches Chloe’s face for any sign of distress or pain. Finding none, she shrugs and reclines further into her pillow. “Sounds perfect.”

As far as dates go, spending the night watching Netflix until they fall asleep and inevitably wake up tangled together is pretty high, near the top of Beca’s favourite dates list.

“Wait,” Chloe says as Beca loads a movie. Beca turns, curious. “I want…I want to know something.”

Beca raises an eyebrow, prompting Chloe to go on.

“Do you…not want to have sex with me?”

Chloe can’t recall ever seeing somebody choke on air, but Beca does a fairly good impression of it at the moment, followed by an almost-insultingly incredulous expression.

“What?” Beca asks, when she finally collects herself. “What did you just say?”

“I…I, nothing,” Chloe says quietly. “I don’t know what I said.”

Beca doesn’t say anything for a moment. Chloe can feel her eyes boring in the side of her head.

“Stop staring at me,” she mumbles, a little petulantly.

Beca continues to remain silent, but her hand finds its way onto Chloe’s thigh.

Chloe ignores her, staring blankly at the screen. She’s not even sure what movie Beca put on.

Beca’s lips graze her ear.

She shivers.

Beca’s hand squeezes her thigh firmly. Her lips trail across her cheek.

Chloe bites her own lip, trying to focus.

“Chlo,” Beca murmurs, voice thick with something that Chloe can’t quite place.

“Hm,” Chloe shoots back, tilting her head as best as she can. Her eyes lock onto Beca’s, so close to her own. “Beca,” she echoes, though there’s no bite at all.

“I’m going to tell you something,” Beca says, as casually as she dares, while her hand inches higher up Chloe’s thigh.

“What’s that?” Chloe asks, after she takes a deep breath.

“I…want you to know that I find you incredibly beautiful and I am very attracted to you.” Beca is so close that Chloe can feel her breath wash across her neck. “I have pretty much always been attracted to you and nothing has changed since I was nineteen.”

Chloe closes her eyes, willing some memory to force its way into her mind, but nothing comes.

“Of course I want to have sex with you. How could I not? But...only when you’re ready.”

When she opens her eyes again, Beca is looking at her again, with a gaze so filled with tenderness and love that Chloe can’t help but put her hands on Beca’s cheeks and pull her in for a kiss.

There’s a brief tussle as their bodies squirm, limbs tangling as Chloe finally feels Beca lose some of that willpower and control, if the way Beca’s quickly wandering hands are any indication.

“I want you to know that I think you’re a nerd,” Chloe mumbles between kisses.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I know,” Beca says, and Chloe can feel her smile. She almost wants to stop kissing her so she can see her smile. Beca’s hand slides to her ass overtop her shorts. “Come here.”

Chloe wonders if Beca actually picked up on the hint or if she’ll just end up stopping them halfway through an intense make-out session.

“I meant, by the way,” Chloe says softly, voice sticking in her throat. “That I want to have sex with you right now. But,” she adds, when Beca’s eyes seem to darken immediately. “I want…I want you to tell me what you like.” Mildly embarrassed, she tucks her head back against Beca’s neck to resume pressing kisses and little nips to Beca’s skin.

“Oh,” Beca says, though it comes out on a moan. Her fingers tighten into Chloe’s shirt, their movie forgotten in the background. “Are y-you sure?”

Chloe reaches for Beca’s hand. “Mm, pretty sure.”

Beca takes that as hesitance. “Chloe, maybe we shouldn’t – not yet-”

“Bec,” Chloe interrupts. “I’m not confused, I’m not scared. I’ve been thinking about this, I promise.” She swallows, taking her time to lick her lips and think about her words. “God, I’ve been thinking of nothing but this for weeks now. Maybe even months.”

Beca bites her lip. “I don’t want to hurt you,” she admits, finally letting some honesty rise to the surface. “I don’t know what I think is going to happen exactly, but I don’t want to hurt you. What if...it triggers something?”

"You won’t hurt me,” Chloe says firmly. “You’ve never hurt me. I want this. I want you.”

The way Beca’s eyes shine at her when she says that is both heartbreaking and invigorating. Chloe smiles back, meeting Beca in the middle when she leans in for another kiss. It is tentative at first, before slowly increasing in fervor and intensity.

Naturally, their bodies fold into each other, Beca’s body coming to rest half on top of Chloe’s as she tries to recline onto the bed. The ease at which Beca’s hands and general touch find their way onto Chloe’s body is stunning.

With a last gentle nip at Beca’s lower lip, Chloe draws back. She wants to explore.

She kisses the edge of Beca’s jaw affectionately, then her neck just beneath her jawline. There, Chloe pauses because Beca’s breathing has increased slightly, but she makes no move to rush Chloe along. She just waits, breathing as best as she can.

Chloe can’t help but nuzzle her nose into Beca’s neck because she wants to absorb everything about this moment – everything about how this is such a defining point in their relationship. She wonders how much Beca thinks about this – how often Beca wonders what exactly she can and cannot remember.

Chloe isn’t going to forget this, ever.

She will fight tooth and nail to keep it; to keep Beca.

As she nuzzles Beca’s neck once more, Beca’s body trembles, and her hands tighten into Chloe’s waist. There’s a gentle rock of Beca’s hips, the only tell that she might be getting antsy, Chloe thinks, so she moves on.

Chloe moves one hand to the small of Beca’s back, the other stroking quickly up Beca’s neck before sliding into her hair. She cradles Beca then, as gently as she can, holding her head in place as she kisses her girlfriend with as much passion she can manage. Beca responds, nearly instantaneously. Chloe leans into the kiss. She begins lightly tugging at Beca’s hair with her hands and Beca’s lower lip with her teeth, both actions resulting in a needy moan.

By the time she draws back to allow for a quick breather, Beca is breathing heavily and staring at her with something akin to awe.

With a last nip at Beca’s bottom lip, Chloe pulls back and she can’t help the affection that runs through her resulting in a smile when Beca leans forward, chasing her lips. “Wait,” she says softly.

Beca gazes at her, soft and steady. She bites her lip. Chloe stifles a moan at the sight because it’s all she wants to do right now.

But she honestly doesn’t want to go any further if Beca still holds reservations. It’ll break her heart, sure, but she doesn’t want to risk scaring Beca off.

It’s odd - though maybe not so odd - that they find themselves constantly in fear of their own demons.

“We don’t have to,” Chloe murmurs. “Really. If you’re still unsure. I don’t want to force you into something that you don’t want to do.”

It is an absolute marvel to Beca that Chloe is willing and open and ready – especially when all Beca has allowed herself was an occasional taste here and there because of her own internalized fears.

“I want to,” Beca chokes out, eyes fluttering shut. She tries not to squirm, but there is already an intense ache building between her legs and an answering ache in her heart because all she can see and hear is how Chloe had looked the first time – how surprisingly shy she had been. “God, I want to,” she murmurs, reaching for Chloe again. She greedily puts her hands as far up Chloe’s back as her shirt allows, pulling her in. “I’ve missed you so much,” she says before she can help herself.

Chloe surges forward and kisses her, all tongue and bruising lips.

“Tell me what you like,” Chloe whispers against her mouth before capturing her lips again. She moves to fully straddle Beca’s thighs, holding onto Beca’s shoulders as best as she can. “Tell me – tell me what you w-want,” she stutters out when Beca’s hands dip under the waistband of her shorts to grip her ass firmly. Her hips rock experimentally, a quiet moan leaving her lips when her shorts rub just right against her center.

Beca gently moves Chloe’s hands so they’re resting just under the hem of her shirt. “Please touch me,” she murmurs, raising her hands again so she can cup Chloe’s cheeks. “I need you to touch me and believe me, there is no possible way that I won’t like it.”

It’s probably the most romantic thing Beca could have said and it invigorates her. She quickly pulls Beca back into her space, lips finding hers in both a messy and a tender manner.

“Okay,” Chloe says. “Okay, okay,” she repeats, holding Beca’s head. She pulls Beca’s face towards hers, resting her forehead against her girlfriend’s.

Slowly, they shed the rest of their clothes. Beca imagines they land haphazardly at the foot of the bed. She doesn’t care. She only cares about making love to her girlfriend. Even if Chloe isn’t in love with her yet, Beca has enough love to share between the both of them. She wants to share everything she possibly can.

There’s a brief moment of hesitance when Beca finally notices that Chloe has scars along her side. She doesn’t recall that Chloe mentioned anything about them before and maybe the doctor had mentioned it, but Beca doesn’t think she would have cared back then.

And she doesn’t care right now, except that she thinks Chloe is the most beautiful woman she has ever seen.

Tears threaten to slip from her eyes, but she squeezes her eyes shut, letting her fingers trail over the gentle ridges and lines. She can feel Chloe’s breathing pick up, but she does nothing to stop Beca’s hands.

“Bec,” Chloe calls softly. “Come back to me.”

Beca’s mind reels; she feels drunk on memories suddenly.

So, she drifts for a moment.

She hovers over Chloe, eyes greedily taking in all the skin she can see - and of course, the skin that she can touch.

Chloe lays bare before her, swollen lips parted as she expels a breath. “Please, Bec,” she whimpers, like saying Beca’s whole name will only expend energy that she can’t find; like saying Beca’s whole name is too much effort when her body is worked up beyond belief.

Beca can relate. She moans quietly, leaning down to take one of Chloe’s nipples into her mouth. Instantly, a hand snaps to the back of her head, gripping tightly. She swirls her tongue experimentally.

When she hears Chloe whimper, she releases the nipple, swapping her tongue for her fingers so she can move back up to capture Chloe’s lips again. Chloe’s own hand comes up to palm her breast again, both of them moaning deeply and instantaneously.

Beca’s head swims when Chloe’s body squirms up against hers.

Definitely drunk on something, she thinks faintly. Chloe, maybe.

When she comes back into her own body, Chloe is above her, looking a little older than she did in her mind’s eye, but no worse for wear.

Beca has conflicting emotions then - both gratefulness and immense pain - as she takes in how far they’ve come.

Still, she doesn’t want this memory to end - not when she’s here; not when she’s present and shaping the memory as it happens.

“I’m here,” she whispers. "I'm here, baby."

Chloe's gaze seems to melt right through Beca, like she's trying to convey how appreciative she is of Beca in a look. It is drenched in tenderness and the closest thing to love Beca can recall seeing in recent months.

“I’m going to touch you now,” Chloe says softly. Her body slides gracefully against Beca’s, until they’re pressed together intimately.

Beca swallows, not wanting to tear her eyes away from Chloe’s.

She nearly blacks out from the sensation of Chloe’s fingers tentatively sliding down her abdomen, slowly sliding between her legs. Beca almost wants to scream at the relief and frustration she feels when Chloe’s fingers finally slide through her folds. Her body nearly explodes from the sheer feeling of having Chloe’s fingers rubbing - exploring - even if she is a little hesitant with her touch.

“Bec,” Chloe says finally. There’s something reverent in her tone, like she can’t quite believe she’s touching Beca.

Beca jolts out of the flurry of emotions she had been riding, eyes blinking open. Chloe hovers over her still, but she’s biting her lip, a very familiar expression of arousal on her face. Beca struggles not to rock her hips and her entire body trembles with effort and emotion.

Pressing a parting kiss to Beca’s lips, Chloe moves down, licking and nipping her way to Beca’s nipple. Beca gasps, her body twisting to keep Chloe in place as best as she can, while also attempting to alleviate the pressure between her legs.

“Chlo,” she moans, drawing out the syllable. The quiet is broken by the sharp, stilted “fuck!” that bursts from Beca, from somewhere deep inside her. She gasps, her hips jerking uncontrollably.

Chloe starts moving her fingers in earnest – what had she been doing before? Beca thinks faintly – and Beca can only move her hands back to Chloe’s ass to hold her down against her thigh. The puff of air that leaves Chloe’s lips escapes out over her breast and she’s quickly moving her head back up to kiss Beca urgently. Beca whines into the kiss, trying to do something to shift Chloe’s fingers – to get them inside-

“Chlo. Chloe,” Beca breathes urgently, recalling that Chloe had specifically asked for instruction. Not that she needs it, Beca thinks. Maybe a little guidance wouldn’t hurt. Especially since Beca feels like she might actually explode from everything threatening to overwhelm her. “Inside, please, baby.”

Chloe can’t help her answering moan when she glides her fingers into Beca - two to start, she thinks - to be met with delicious warmth. She feels like crying, inexplicably because the most peculiar sensation of feeling whole again washes over her.

A sharp gasp escapes her and she finds enough sense to see that Beca looks equally emotional.

The thrust of Beca’s hips are rhythmic, meeting her strokes. Chloe can feel how wet she is; how wet she’s making Beca’s thigh somehow, amidst the ache between her legs. She grits her teeth, willing herself not to cry out because she wants to hear and see everything that Beca can give her - she wants to commit this to memory.

Beca cries out then, a mix of sounds that don’t make any particular words, her muscles jumping and tensing beneath Chloe as she comes, hard and fast around Chloe’s fingers.

Feeling her own orgasm approach, Chloe can only manage a whimper, struggling to keep her eyes open and locked on Beca’s as she slides herself down Beca’s thigh just once more.

For Chloe, she feels like it’s akin to a blackout. She whimpers, finally squeezing her eyes shut as she has the mind to slide her fingers out from Beca, immediately missing the warmth.

The white-hot pleasure and how close she feels to Beca then are enough to send her over the edge once more as a the tiniest aftershock ripples through her.

When she comes to, Beca is crying, she thinks. She can feel Beca’s chest underneath her own, using it to steady herself enough in the present moment. She takes care to ensure she’s not crushing Beca in any way, gently stroking a hand up Beca’s thigh; it’s a gentle caress that serves as a reminder to both of them that they’re still there.

Beca wraps her arms tightly around Chloe’s waist and holds her close, turning her head so she can bury her nose into Chloe’s hair.

Chloe takes the moment to process - to take inventory of every single thing she feels at the moment.

The only thing that comes to mind is that there is something so right about lying in Beca’s arm, their bodies tangled together under this blanket, in this room.

It feels like coming home.

It feels like she has always known, all her life, that she was meant to find this exact moment, lying in Beca Mitchell’s arms.

It makes her feel like crying, though she feels no sadness, for once.

“Kiss me,” Beca whimpers, cupping her cheeks. Chloe nods once, pressing her lips desperately against Beca’s as best as she can, considering her entire body feels weak. “Kiss me,” Beca repeats, mumbling it straight into Chloe’s mouth.

The desperation in her kisses this time is something achingly heartbreaking, Chloe thinks, like she’s afraid of something.

Chloe thinks she feels it too - like she wouldn’t know what to do with herself if she woke up and this happened to be a dream. Or if something were to take Beca away from her.

Their kisses slow then, as Chloe sinks back into the bed, to the side. Beca follows steadily. Beca’s kisses take a turn to her neck when Chloe’s head fully hits the pillow. As she cradles Beca’s head against her neck, there’s a streak of protectiveness and possession that runs through her, white hot, like a reminder that this is something they have done many, many times before.

At the same time, Chloe has never felt more protective of another person, ever before in her life.

“It’s okay,” she breathes into the soft mess of brown tangles and curls. “I’m real. I’m here,” Chloe whispers, feeling tears creep out at the corner of her own eyes. It somehow feels like the right thing to say.

Like it’s the only thing she could possibly say at that moment.

Beca lets out one last sob against her neck, body heaving a giant breath before lifts her head to kiss Chloe with all the passion she can muster.

Beca waits until Chloe falls asleep to press one final kiss to her lips, whispering the quietest “I love you” just before she falls into a deep slumber, right beside the love of her life.

fin.

[souliloquyyy]

Meet The Cast: Infinity & Delta

@gottaenjoythelittlethingzz tagged me! Thank you!!

I’ll be doing this with Infinity (Fin) and Delta, the twin MCs from Rules For The End Of The World!

1. On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s skincare routine?

It’s pretty darn involved for both of them. They absolutely love makeup and that stuff. I, however, do not. So it’s a struggle to write. Which is why I’m not going to attempt to explain their skincare routines.

2. What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Infinity definitely likes soft, warm sweets like cupcakes and brownies. She has a major sweet tooth. There’s not really a reason, she just does. She isn’t super strict about how/when she eats, but she’s definitely the kind of person who doesn’t use a plate if she doesn’t have to.

Delta, while she enjoys sweets like everyone else on the planet, prefers spicy and crunchy foods. She likes chips and salsa. She likes eating raw jalapenos and other hot peppers. Delta will snack all day long if given the opportunity, and, like her sister, rarely uses plates or utensils.

3. What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

Delta gets annoyed when people don’t understand anarchy or talk about government in front of her.

Fin gets annoyed when people assume she is also an anarchist. She hates people assuming anything about her, honestly.

4. What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

Infinity would not give them money but would buy them food or something. She’s one of those people who doesn’t like giving money because she’s worried about how it will be used. But she’ll buy them food, clothes, whatever they need. She’s not heartless, just cautious.

Delta would probably pretend not to notice them. She’s not a very sympathetic person and thinks people should deal with their issues themselves rather than ask for help.

5. Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

Neither of them gets lost more easily than anyone else, though they do get lost occasionally. They live in a big city, it’s not hard to lose your way. What they do when they get lost is a different question, though. Infinity would stop and ask someone for directions, while Delta would wander around aimlessly until she figures out how to get where she’s going.

6. What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

Honestly, this is a big part of Infinity’s story. She has two Right Things but can only choose one. And whichever she doesn’t choose will end badly. But it’s kinda spoilers. So I can’t really say. However, I will say one thing that will make her hesitate is if it puts her sister in danger. Despite their differences, they’re really close and would do anything for each other.

A lot of things would stop Delta from doing the Right Thing. She’d do whatever would benefit her or her sister.

7. Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at their own house/battle-camp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a smiley face painted on?

Infinity would end up forgetting about the kid at some point, so no, not really. She might be able to do a dog, but again, probably not. She could totally take care of a houseplant, though. She has a bunch of succulents and cactuses. She could definitely take care of a rock and would probably enjoy it too.

Delta is surprisingly good with kids and would probably be able to keep one alive for a week, though not much longer. She doesn’t like animals so that’s a no. She could take care of a houseplant, though she wouldn’t want to. However, she does have one succulent that she’s kept alive for a few months. It was a birthday present from Infinity. She would be capable of caring for a rock, but she would not enjoy it.

8. If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  Both emotionally and academically.

They’d both be pretty chill about it, especially Delta. Infinity would be a bit stressed out, but she’d manage pretty well. They would do okay, grade-wise, but not amazingly. Probably about average.

9. What would cause your OC to choose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

Infinity would only do it for no reason in a joking manner or to someone she doesn’t like. Otherwise, it would take a lot to make her be mean to someone. She’s a peacemaker.

Delta would also only do it to someone she doesn’t like, but she doesn’t like most people, so, realistically, she’d be mean to just about anyone.

10. On a scale of “Complete and justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by aliens?

Infinity would be freaking out on the inside but be totally chill on the outside.

Delta would think it was cool and would totally Conquer The Entire Galaxy.

11. What song is 100% guaranteed to get your OC beyond excited and will be sung loudly and embarrassingly, either in public or the shower?

One of Delta’s favorite bands is Fall Out Boy, and her favorite song by them is Young And Menace (she also adores Centuries). She would totally rock out to both of those anywhere and anytime, no matter who is nearby. And she would not be embarrassed at all. She also really likes Fugitive by Halflives.

Fin likes How To Be A Heartbreaker by MARINA and would, like Delta, rock out to it anywhere, anytime, and not be shy about it.

12. What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies their neighbors?

Delta’s belief in anarchy annoys and honestly scares the neighbors, and Fin’s pastel-grunge aesthetic confuses them. The girls are just super weird and their neighbors hate them for it.

13. Under what circumstances would your OC appear naked in public?

Both of them would probably do it out of spite or because of a dare.

14. What thing did your OC’s parents do that your OC wishes they had a better explanation for?

Name them Infinity and Delta. They like the names, they just wish they could explain them better.

15. How often does your OC “zone out” or do things on autopilot and how severe have the problems that have arisen from that been?

Delta rarely zones out.

Infinity zones out way too often. She has a very intense inner dialogue going all the time, so she gets lost in thought whenever she’s not required to pay attention, and sometimes even when she is required to pay attention. The problems can be pretty severe, for instance, zoning out while driving a car has nearly gotten her into a few accidents. Zoning out during school has gotten her into a lot of trouble with her teachers.

16. How strong or weak is your OC’s impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened because of their impulsivity or inability to be so?

Both of them are incredibly impulsive and have practically no impulse control. I can’t think of the worst thing that happened because of this, because there are so many, but they’ve both gotten in a lot of fights with other people and have jumped into dangerous situations that could have ended in severe injuries or even death.

17. How does your OC sabotage themselves?

Delta argues with literally everyone to the point where literally everyone hates her, which gets her into a TON of trouble and danger for which she can only blame herself.

Fin does the same thing with her sarcasm, but not quite as bad because she’s only joking whereas Delta is not.

18. What’s the trashiest item in your OC’s wardrobe, when was the last time they wore it and why do they still have it?

I literally don’t know anything about clothing, so I can’t really answer this. But they both love fashion so they probably don’t have any trashy clothing items.

19. How dehydrated is your OC right now? Are they going to fix this?

Fin is Super Healthy and always carries a bottle of water with her, so she is not dehydrated in the least bit.

Delta doesn’t go out of her way to drink water just for the purpose of being healthy, but she’s always thirsty so she’s always drinking water, so she’s pretty much always hydrated.

20. What’s your OC smell like? No, not that “Vanilla and Anxiety” evocative stuff, realistically. Body odor? What have they been touching all day? When was their last shower? Did they put on any kind of artificial scent?

Seeing as it’s the end of the world and they don’t really have the time for deoderant and perfume, they both probably smell pretty bad. They showered at least a day or two ago, but they still have access to showers so they’re not super gross. Fin likes perfume and would wear it if she had the time, but, you know, end of the world and whatnot.

Thank you again to @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz for tagging me!

I’m going to tag literally anyone who wants to do this! Go ahead and say that I tagged you; I’d love to come read about your characters!

[lostinyourears]

Lost in Lucha’s Top 100 CMLL  Matches of 2018 List

Short forward before we get to the list. I hate to state the obvious, but this is mylist for CMLL’s best matches. I didn’t look through Arena Guadalajara matches which thecubsfan posts. All of these matches are from CMLL’s Arena Puebla(which airs monday night) as well as Arena Mexico shows(which airs on Tuesday/Friday). I’m not saying Guadalajara matches aren’t good, as they can be. I just choose to mostly stick to what CMLL officially uploads to Youtube.

I haven’t seen every CMLL match of 2018. If you think something isn’t listed that should be… say so! I’ll gladly watch/rewatch recommendations that people think should have been on this list.

I’m also not saying these are the best lucha libre matches or the best wrestling matches of the year. It says CMLL for a reason, I didn’t watch as much AAA or IWRG and didn’t want to have 90 CMLL matches and 10 matches from those two sources. So if you have other great lucha or wrestling matches this year you think I should watch, feel free to suggest them.  

1. Fenix vs. Barbaro Cavernario, Leyenda de Plata Finals, November 23rd

For my money, the best wrestling match of 2018 bar none. Some people say they prefer the other match these two had earlier in the year. I’m not going to call bullshit, as I really like that match as well as you can see from it’s placement on this list. I just thought this was a great escalation of that match and slightly better. The Leyenda de Plata every year is a great event and highlight from CMLL. Always a treat and these finals trump last year by having 2 younger and more surprising finalists who hit it out of the park!

This is a match I’d be surprised to hear isn’t universally loved. I don’t know how you could see Fenix’s flying skills and the brutality of Barbaro Cavernario in this match and come out calling it anything less than great. I thought similarly about their 2nd match on this top 100 as well.

A must watch for not only any lucha libre fan, but any wrestling fan in general. No doubt the best or one of the best bouts in 2018.  

2. Angel de Oro vs Cuatrero, mask vs mask at Homage to 2 Legends, March 16th

Between this and their title match a few weeks/months later it was hard to choose which match in this feud to give this number 2 spot. I went with this because… someone loses their mask here. I do really think the title match may be as good or better with a fantastic ending, but I didn’t want to spoil this match for any newcomers which gave this an edge. Granted as weeks/months and eventually years pass by this spoiler has become less important, but I wanted to preserve the surprise for any CMLL/Lucha newbies who come upon this list. My favorite lucha de apuestas of the year.  

3. La Park, Volador Jr. & Flyer vs. Ingobernables(Rush, Terrible & Bestia del Ring), May 25th

Did the amount of hype I had for La Park’s return match to CMLL color my perception of this match? Of course, this is my list! Still, away from the hype this match holds up. It’s ridiculous how hot this match is. La Park returns and reignited his feud with Rush and now that he is in CMLL that feud extends fully to Los ingobernables. Many people will poo poo the feud and this match because CMLL didn’t book Rush/La Park lucha de apuestas for CMLL 85th Anniversary. To that, I’ll say that the match is still great. My favorite from Rush or La Park in 2018 and really from any of these 6 in 2018, when pretty much all of them had great 2018′s… except Bestia del Ring, but he’s never had a good year.

4. Cuatrero © vs Angel de Oro for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship June 1st

This is another match from the Cuatrero/Angel de Oro feud and won’t be the last. I loved this feud and it won’t be the only feud to be in this top 10 twice. I think the feuds included in this top 10 are some of the best this year and are one of the great exhibits on why CMLL in 2018 far and away trounced 2017 and showed just how much CMLL has grown over the year. 2018 set a bar to surpass that 2019 might have a hard time living up to.

5. Barbaro Cavernario vs King Phoenix 2/3 falls(Fenix’s first singles match in CMLL) June 29th

When I saw this live back in June my immediate thought was MOTY. You might then be thinking, “well you have matches from earlier in the year you put above this.” Congrats on getting how the calendar works. I still put this at #5 and think it’s one of the best matches of the year. Certainly worth a viewing and I can certainly see why anyone would give this MOTY. A great first singles for Fenix that shows just what Fenix in CMLL can do, if given a spotlight. No doubt a vote of confidence for him and likely a large reason he was given a spot in the Leyenda de Plata finals above which happened a few months later.

6. Hechicero, Dragon Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs. Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Black Panther June 22nd

The match I gave #1 over La Park vs. Rush singles match in CMLL, why? Because it’s one of the best trios matches of 2018. I love Rojo/Polvora as a team along with the Panther Dynasty. Add that to the technical wizardry of Hechicero and you have yourself a classic. One of the best matches of the year and the hidden gem pick for this top ten. Everything else here is pretty much regarded as a great match in the CMLL/Lucha fanbase, this one deserves more love and hopefully being #6 on this list will lead to that.

7. Sky Team(Volador Jr./Valiente)© vs. Los ingobernables(Rush/Terrible) for the CMLL World Tag Team Championships July 13th

My favorite tag match of the year. As said in my rewatch thread on twitter, that’s not saying much because they only ever have a few great tag matches a year with CMLL running mostly trios. Putting it at 7 overall for the year on the other hand is saying a bit more. This was fantastic and a direct look at why adding Terrible to ingobernables in 2018 was a brilliant choice. His no nonsense slap the shit out of people offense works great with Rush’s similar ‘to the point’ offense. The highlight of Atlantis’ 40th Anniversary show.  

8. Volador Jr./Matt Taven vs. Rush/Barbaro Cavernario for the hairs, CMLL 85th Anniversary iPPV main event September 14th (Poor quality, can be seen in better quality on RoH’s Honor Club)

Just short of the match at 7th place and the Anniversary main event sliding down 7 spots from 2017′s top 100 list. This being a tag match for the hairs isn’t as dramatic as the mask vs. mask main we got last year. I was happy to see this on Honor Club and got Gran Prix as well in the month timespan I had Honor Club, making it a good value. One that I might sign back up for now that Rush has signed a deal to appear more in RoH.

Volador Jr./Matt Taven was a good feud this year, but not as great as the other 3 feuds in this top ten. Barbaro Cavernario was a good replacement for the injured Terrible, but it makes one wonder what that match would have looked like.

Still this built Barbaro Cavernario for the future which is only a good thing and makes his argument for WOTY that much stronger. Than had he just won Leyenda de Plata, which may not have been planned before this performance.

9. La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Ultimo Guerrero vs. Rush, Barbaro Cavernario & Bestia del Ring September 17th

My second favorite Rush/Park match from their long running feud. They export it to Puebla which works great. I loved the wild action of this match and Park’s son continues to impress when given a chance to be in a marquee match. Barbaro comes along for the ride having just won the main event of CMLL’s biggest show of the year with Rush. This match won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you love a good brawl, that’s this to a tea.  

10. Leyenda de Plata torneo cibernético, 8 vs. 8 elimination to the final 2 November 16th

The preliminary match to our #1 on this list. The best torneo cibernetico of the year like it is most years. Last year’s was at #4 and I don’t think it’s that much better or even better than this one at all. Instead, I think the CMLL economy was different in 2018 than it was in 2017. Basically, I think we had more great matches in 2018 which pushed Leyenda de Plata’s torneo cibernetico down the list. Still a great match and a great way to get introduced to many of the best names on the roster… and Kawato San.

11. Soberano Jr.© vs. Magia Blanca for the Mexican National Welterweight Championship May 1st

This missed the top 10 by the slimmest of margins which spells a great future for both these talents, but a break out performance from Magia Blanca who sadly sat out the latter half of the year due to an injury. Here is hoping he comes back even stronger in 2019 and earns his spot as break out star of the year that he may have claimed in 2018, had he not been sidelined.  

12. Mephisto © vs Titan for the CMLL World Welterweight Championship January 23rd

One of the best title matches of the year despite these two not having much of a feud before or after this. These two had a tooth and nail fight that seemed like either could have won any given second of the match, once we got a few minutes in. Titan has had a secretly stellar year, even if this is his first appearance on the list(outside of the match with 16 men in it). These who had another title match later in the year with each other which isn’t as good and didn’t make the list.

13. Cuatrero © vs. Titan for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship November 6th

Back to back entries for Titan and with good reason. He had a great year and these two matches are proof positive. Hopefully 2019 can be Titan’s year to recapture gold instead of always being the go to challenger. Like Barbaro this year who unseated Atlantis as Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship, but had prior to that been in a similar role to Titan, but rudo.

14. Hechicero © vs. Stuka Jr. for the NWA World Historic Light Heavyweight Championship August 14th

Hechicero and Stuka Jr. are both very fun. The feud for this belt and the matches that have lead up to it and fall out after were often some of the best matches of any given week with this match being the best of it’s given week. Lots of great action both Hechicero’s technical skill and Stuka Jr.’s flying skill are shown to full effect here. A classic that shouldn’t be forgotten.

15. La Park vs. Rush June 22nd

The first match I gave a #2 spot on CMLL weekly, all above this fell on #1 their given weeks. I’m sure many could be rolling their eyes at it being this high/low. “You think Rush/La Park was feud of the year, but their only singles match is number 15?” Yea, I think La Park’s big return to both CMLL and then Arena Puebla were more fun. This was a great match with plenty of action, but the end left me wanting more, which we didn’t get in 2018, as far as singles matches with these two in CMLL is concerned. Here’s hoping 2019 brings a lucha de apuestas match between these two.

16.  La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Caristico vs. Pentagon, Fenix & Diamante Azul 85th Anniversary semi-main September 14th

I really love this match and if you had told me a year prior that Pentagon/Fenix/La Park/Hijo de La Park would all be in a big match at Anniversary, I’d have laughed. Now that it happened, I feel like I could cry. It’s been just so cool to see all these guys in Arena Mexico and with La Park even Arena Puebla, I can’t imagine the excitement of those who attended some of these events live.

17. Fenix, Mistico, & Caristico vs. Ultimo Guerrero, Negro Casas & Barbaro Cavernario(Debut of Fenix in CMLL) June 8th

If there were any worry about Fenix and how he’d fit into the CMLL ecosystem, they were quickly squashed by this excellent match that showcased him vs. Ultimo/Negro Casas and of course Barbaro Cavernario. This was the start of that great feud between those two, which seems far from over as we start 2019.

18. Michael Elgin vs. Ultimo Guerrero October 12th

I wish on FantasticaMania this year we were getting a singles match of this caliber with NJPW vs. CMLL. Michael Elgin resident big man gaijin of NJPW won Gran Prix and his award other than a trophy was a singles match vs. The Final Boss of CMLL as the FantasticaMania promo package painted him as.

Elgin had some answers for some of Ultimo Guerrero moves. A very exciting clash of worlds between these two icons. Michael Elgin has been touring CMLL like clockwork and I assume we’ll see him again in 2019.

19. Caristico © vs. Gran Guerrero for the NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship October 2nd

It was great to see Gran Guerrero in a singles match again after most of 2018 was about trios matches for Los Guerreros Laguneros with their feud with The Cl4n lasting longer than it probably should have. I love seeing Gran Guerrero just powerhouse through Caristico’s offense and hope that with Barbaro Cavernario now having a belt, perhaps Gran Guerrero and Templario can be the favorite challenger rudos for various tecnico carried belts.  

20. Triton vs Audaz Lighting Match July 24th

Audaz and Triton had a barnburner of a lightning match. The best lightning match of the year and just slipping into the top 20. Last year I was hotter on Barbaro/Dragon Lee lightning which was the highest on it’s list.

I think 2018 was stronger than 2017 at pretty much every turn. So it’s more just about having more and better title matches than this being a lesser lightning match. Though to be honest this was more a proving match between two up and comers, while Barbaro/Lee was more a proving match between two main eventers.  

21. Rush & Terrible vs Ultimo Guerrero & Volador Jr. Incredible Pairs Finals February 23rd

This would be higher if not for the fact Terrible/Rush had the better tag title match listed above. Loved how this match played out and Terrible joining ingobernables was some new blood in that faction that was sorely needed after La Mascara was fired alongside Maximo Sexy in summer of 2017.

For those unaware : Incredible Pairs format is Rudo/Tecnico(Heel/Face) teams tournament and despite Rush/Terrible both being Rudo’s part of the ingobernables shtick is being a different kind of tecnico making rest on paper a tecnico… though his actions in this match say otherwise.

22.  Último Guerrero © vs. Sanson for the CMLL World Heavyweight Championship November 19th

A great defense for this title that was vacated by Marco Corleone a few months prior. This match could have been better, which is they the Elgin match is above this. Still great to see the defacto leader of two rudos stables clash in Puebla and one of the bouts that made Puebla must watch this year.

23. Niebla Roja © vs. Sanson for the CMLL World Light Heavyweight Championship July 17th

Another good title challenge for Sanson which saw him go against Niebla Roja who he’s had a soft feud with. Sorta a byproduct of the Angel de Oro/Cuatrero feud which has mostly lead to trios match and of course this title match.

24. Hechicero, Dragón Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs La Excelencia Tapatia (Titan, Triton & Esfinge) May 11th

Another great CMLL trios bout and it’s no mistake that Dragon Rojo/Polvora are in it again. They may be the best rudo tag team in CMLL, but to be fair that’s because most rudo units are trios or more. I always like seeing Triton as well.  

25. Gran Alternative Finals Ultimo Guerrero & Templario vs. Volador Jr. & Flyer May 18th

Another tournament final, both of the big annual tag tournaments had big aftermath that sorta overshadowed the match, but this is likely the match that put Templario on the map and of course it’s after match angle of La Park showing up will make this one for the history books… even if the match sorta gets lost in the discussion of that and both Volador/Flyer looked better in following months teaming with La Park.

For those unaware  : Gran Alternative is a tag tournament with younger/established guys and a more seasoned partner. Ultimo/Volador being established and Templario/Flyer being newer talents.

26. Volador Jr. © vs Matt Taven for the NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship March 30th

The last singles male title match to get the #1 spot on CMLL weekly. This is a great match and the shocking outcome was great, but the follow up was really lacking. I would have prefered the follow up to play out in literally any other way, but it didn’t and we are stuck with a great shock win/loss that simply floundered in the following weeks/months.  

27. Cuatrero vs. Angel de Oro February 6th

The match where tensions between Angel de Oro and Cuatrero boiled over. I’d suggest watching all three of the singles matches with these two on this list(so far) as this rivalry was great from start to finish. (Even the Middleweight Championship match at FantasticaMania which isn’t on this list as I’m counting that as a NJPW match)

28. Euforia vs Caristico January 16th

Caristico and Euforia were two of the lucky few who were tasked to hold down the fort during FantasticaMania last year and did a great job in this singles meeting. Euforia is secretly a great competitor even in singles matches and this one showed in full what he could do with a great partner.

29. Barbaro Cavernario vs. Matt Taven August 31st

A great singles match to build towards Anniversary with both corner men getting involved in the last stages of the match. Barbaro has had a killer year and this is another testament to that.

30. Rush vs Kraneo April 23rd

The catalyst for the Kraneo tecnico turn. Things are crazy in this match, if you can’t appreciate the silliness of Kraneo, this likely won’t change your mind. If you can appreciate him and Mije, this match could be a contender for MOTY. It’s balls to the walls crazy, from start to finish.

31.  Negro Casas vs Sam Adonis, Hair vs Hair, January 1st

A pretty strong main event to start the year off on. Negro Casas still going strong at 57 and Sam Adonis looking better than he normally does. Negro Casas got hurt here and sat out the start of 2018 while Sam Adonis left for most of the 2nd year, so it feels like both men failed to capitalize on the surprisingly great match they had here.

32. Negro Casas vs. Soberano Jr., 1 fall no time limit, May 11th

Great match which was booked a few weeks after their lightning match which ended on a draw. This would be higher if it weren’t for the fact that a decent amount of this match felt similar to the above listed Magia Blanca match Soberano Jr. had.

33.  Dalys © vs Kaho Kobayashi for the CMLL World Women’s Title April 23rd

Is this a token women’s match on this list? Yes, yes it is. Sue me, I liked this match, but not much else from the luchadora roster from CMLL this year stood out. Kaho was a breath of fresh air and anyone who says they aren’t looking forward to Kaho returning to the division either doesn’t watch the division or is lying. CMLL could use more female talent in general, the norm of trios matches is hard to keep from being boring when you have a roster of around a dozen.  

34. Flyer vs. Magia Blanca, New Values Cup Finals, April 17th

This would no doubt be higher if it weren’t for the fact Flyer was roped into the La Park program and Magia Blanca similarly had a better match when he went one on one vs. Soberano Jr. for his belt soon after this. Still, these up and comer tournament finals are always must watch, because how can you not be excited for new guys getting a spotlight? Bonus for this making the New Values’ Tuesday night shows live up to the name.

35.  Volador Jr., Mistico & Valiente © vs. Gran Guerrero, Ultimo Guerrero, & Caristico CMLL World Trios Championship match April 2nd

A fun trios championship match for Arena Puebla which saw Caristico show up in a half Guerreros mask, which might be bumping this up a bit for me. I’m a Guerreros mark and if you have a problem with that… sorry?

36. Sanson © vs. Templario, King of the Underworld Championship, Day of the Dead iPPV, November 2nd

This would have tracked higher, but I honestly think the Cuatrero/Titan match came out better and was free on Youtube a few days later when the next Tuesday show aired. While this was the main reason to buy the underwhelming Day of the Dead iPPV, that was announced as an iPPV the day before.

37. Angel de Oro, Niebla Rojo, Black Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Stuka Jr. vs. Dragon Rojo Jr., Luciferno, Misterioso Jr., Espanto Jr. & Templario, La Copa Halcón Suriano 5 vs. 5 Elimination, October 19th

The next best torneo after Leyenda de Plata, this and the King of the Underworld torneo imo took the shine off Gran Prix, which was still fun, but felt bloated while this torneo felt better paced and had better action across the board.

38. Mistico vs. Caristico April 9th

I was expecting more from this match, but it was still good shit. People loving Caristico and hating on pirata Mistico. Wish more came from this and that it was longer. Still this was good action between these two long rivals.

39. Cuatrero vs Mephisto lightning match July 20th

Two unstoppable rudos fighting it out for supremacy, what else could you want?

40. Dragon Lee vs Caristico, Lightning Match, June 15th

Much like Caristico vs. Mistico this isn’t higher mostly because it didn’t live up to the promise such a match has. This was supposed to happen before Dragon Lee went to Japan for the Best of the Super Juniors tournament. He had a muscle scare though and it was called off early in the match. Glad to have this match rebooked when he came back, but was hoping for more.

41. Pegasso, Magia Blanca & Star Jr. vs. Templario, Sagrado & Virus, March 23rd

Really great ending stretch in this match with both Magia Blanca and Templaio seemingly being penciled in for a push this year. Templario got his and Magia Blanca won the New Values Cup, but has been sidelined by injury for the 2nd half of the year, hopefully CMLL is still hot on him come his 2019 return.

42. Gran Prix, 9 vs. 9 Elimination, Team Mexico vs. Team Rest of the World, October 5th

My 3rd favorite torneo cibernetico this year. Falling a long distance down the list. I thought Team Rest of the World was rather lackluster this year. No offense to guys like David Finlay/Briscoes/Dark Magic, but they felt like filler here. Even Gilbert el Boricua didn’t stand out as much as I’d hoped. This match seems less must watch than the Ultimo vs. Elgin match listed above, which was fall out for the Friday directly after this one. I hope this keeps being an annual event, but I could see CMLL scrapping it since they told the Elgin story over the last 3 years.

43. Soberano Jr., Niebla Roja & Angel de Oro vs. Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Templario, December 18th

Templario teams with Los Guerreros Laguneros again. This match has a better ending than the match about a month prior when he officially joined. That atomicos will be lower on the list as it was plenty of fun, but felt this was the better match overall. Hope we get a Templario/Soberano Jr. match in 2019.

44. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Euforia) © vs. Volador Jr., Mistico & Caristico for the CMLL World Trios Championships,  November 30th

Very akin to late 2017 when Los Guerrero Laguneros were challenging for the titles when Volador Jr./Mistico/Valiente had the belts. A little too akin for my tastes, but this is still a fantastic trios championship match. I could see many people putting this sprint in their top 10 for CMLL this year.

45. El Hijo de La Park, Soberano Jr., & Flyer vs. Hechicero, Negro Casas, & Mephisto, August 24th

A great showcase for all the tecnicos and Mephisto looks like a stud in his Villano III tribute gear. Villano III is who they are honoring before this match happens and had many members of his family to to the ring.

46.  Forastero, Negro Casas & Rey Bucanero vs. Mistico, Soberano Jr. & Hijo del La Park, September 28th

A great showing for Forastero and all 3 tecnicos were looking good. It’s always nice to see Negro Casas as well and it seems like every tecnico in the company excels when facing off vs. the old guard rudo.

47. #1 Contenders, 6 vs. 6 torneo cibernetico for Sanson’s King of the Underworld Championship, October 26th

Think this is the last torneo cibernetico that’ll be on this list. It was mostly pushed down due to some of the talents included seemed very unlikely to win and thus hurt the drama. Cuatrero/Forastero for instance, as much as I like them, didn’t seem to fit well here when their brother/cousin has the title. Would have rather had them in Leyenda de Plata which they could theoretically have won. Especially Cuatrero who of course had a breakout year.  

48.  La Park, El Hijo de La Park & Volador Jr. vs. Los ingobernables(Rush, Bestia del Ring & Terrible), June 1st

The second match for La Park upon his CMLL return. These trios/team matches with Rush/La Park were fun, but think they had diminishing returns. The 1st in Area Mexico and the 1st in Puebla stand as tall above the following weeks in both Arenas. Having fun brawls all summer and in the weeks following Anniversary in Puebla were some of the most fun I had watching CMLL this year, even if the dusty finishes of many left them feeling less impactful.

49. Soberano Jr. vs Barbaro Cavernario, March 27th

Feels like this was a blueprint for what both Fenix matches did later in the year. I honestly could have seen this being match of the year earlier this year, but with all the crazy action over the summer/fall/winter it was pushed down plenty. Still more than worth checking out these two great young talents in an epic.

50. Rush/Barbaro Cavernario vs. La Park/Hijo de La Park, September 24th

More Park vs. Rush in Puebla, this time with less fat!

51. Ultimo Guerrero © vs. Stuka Jr. for the NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship, May 22nd

A fun title match between two of my favorites, but both had better singles matches this year as listed above. The ending in particular felt a little weird here, but I still really enjoyed this match.  

52. Pentagon vs. Caristico, December 28th

Pentagon hasn’t hit the ground running as well as his brother Fenix in CMLL. He has still had plenty of great matches and this one would be higher on the list if the ending wasn’t so silly and deflating. Still a great match and a great way to end 2018, but here’s hoping his next singles match in CMLL has a better ending and perhaps a title on the line. Fenix for instance had his 2nd singles match in the company for a tournament win, that match of course being #1.

53. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero/Gran Guerrero/Euforia) vs. Ingobernables(Rush/Bestia del Ring) & Barbaro Cavernario, August 20th

It’s pretty funny that despite the fact Los Guerrero Laguneros had a long running feud with The Cl4n for the CMLL World Trios titles, which even got a match at CMLL Anniversary, their best feuds this year were in Puebla vs. Ingobernables and…—–>

54. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero) vs. Los Guerreros Laguneros(Ultimo Guerrero, Gran Guerrero & Euforia), November 12th

Puebla is often seen as the weaker of the weekly shows, but CMLL have been putting some fun matches and rivalries in that arena to keep in interesting, depending on what week you watch it.

55. Mascara Año 2000 & NGD vs. Los Guerrero Laguneros, November 23rd

Think this is the 1st atomicos on this list. Just like trios you pin/submit the captain or two none captains to win a round.  

This was a great feel good moment for fans of Dinamitas and Mascara Ano 2000. He was honored then got to be in an exciting Friday Night Main Event. In my opinion the best ‘Anniversary of my career’ match we’ve had this year, which is a tall order when Blue Panther/Atlantis/Negro Casas all had them this year.

This was also the start of Templario as an official member of Los Guerreros Laguneros. Which is a big step up the cards for him.

56. Kraneo vs Hechicero lightning match January 19th

A great lightning match that shows how great the characters in CMLL can be despite story being rather thin in the company. I love Kraneo and Mije, if you don’t you may not find this as charming as I did.

57. Audaz, Fuego & Triton vs Raziel, Cancerbero & Nitro, January 30th

Audaz under a new name/mask this was only his 6th match after changing his name/mask from Fiero and Triton only came back from injury a little over a month before this match. Both looked great here and Raziel/Cancerbero are a great team who were awol most of 2018 with Raziel out on injury.

58. Hechicero, Mr. Niebla & Ephesto vs. Stuka Jr., Soberano Jr. & Angel de Oro, August 7th

This was the build up match for the following weeks Hechicero© vs. Stuka Jr. title match that is listed above. It got heated to the point that Hechicero ripped off Stuka Jr.’s pants. Which was a fun rudo move for Hechicero and something Barbaro did to Soberano Jr. this year as well.

59. Gran Guerrero vs. Niebla Roja, January 6th

A reprisal of their CMLL 84th Anniversary main event from a few months prior in September. This match is good, but doesn’t live up to the epic were both men had their masks on the line, which of course was my #1 match for 2017.

60. Titan vs Rey Cometa Lightning Match, January 12th

A very fun lightning match between two of the best tecnicos in the company. Rey Cometa seems like he is locked in midcard purgatory, but I have hope that CMLL sees the value in Titan who had a killer 2018.

61. Dragon Lee & Mistico vs. Sanson & Cuatrero, CMLL Tag Team Tournament preliminary match, March 2nd

Two pairs of brothers, both of which are over and beloved trying to knock the other brothers out of the tournament? Sounds good to me. These two teams as of this writing are set to meet in a FantasticaMania family tournament semi-final on January 18th.

62. Flyer vs. Magia Blanca, New Values Cup Finals, April 17th

A great finals for a great tournament. Not higher simply because Flyer had some good matches with La Park and his family, while Magia Blanca had his great title challenge vs. Soberano Jr. So this was pushed down the list because both men have had better showings this year and Flyer had some shakey moments.

63. Casas Family(Negro Casas, Felino & Tiger) vs. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero), August 31st

CMLL Anniversary was right around the corner and in the build we got this match between dynasties : Casas brothers Negro Casas/Felino along with Tiger, who is son of Felino vs. Dinamitas brothers Sanson/Cuatrero and cousin Forastero. I love these kind of family battles and this one is no different.

64. Hijos del Infierno(Mephisto, Luciferno & Ephesto) vs Soberano Jr., Dragon Lee & Titan, February 5th

I spoke very highly of this when it happened. It still holds up as one of the best trios this year. Demon’s as a full unit vs. 3 of the best tecnicos in the company, hard to go wrong with a pairing like that.

65. Dragon Rojo Jr., Polvora & Templario vs. Audaz, Esfinge & Soberano Jr., October 12th

Another fantastic trios match that included the duo of Rojo/Polvora. Before Templario joined Los Guerreros Laguneros it seemed like Templario might’ve joined Los Revolucionarios del Terror, him tagging with them a fair amount.

66. Cuatrero © vs. Angel de Oro for the CMLL World Middleweight Championship, July 16th

Another great match between these two, but this feels like continued fallout from the other matches and not as definitive or dramatic as the matches listed above from this feud. A reset point for this feud and the last singles match from the two of them(as of this writing). We could likely see this again in 2019, I’d be excited to see them reprise this great rivalry.  

67. Virus, Puma & Tiger vs. Audaz, Rey Cometa & Guerrero Maya Jr., Special Coliseo 75th Anniversary broadcast, April 7th

My favorite match from the Coliseo 75th Anniversary show they did, one of the few matches from that arena on this list as they don’t often upload shows from that Arena, but made a point to air this.

68. Pegasso, Blue Panther Jr. & The Panther vs. Templario, Puma & Tiger, April 20th

Another match with Puma/Tiger, their feud with the Panther Bros. is/was one of my favorite things in wrestling over the last 5 years. They’d likely be on this list more had Puma not left half way through the year.

69. Volador Jr. © vs. Barbaro Cavernario for the NWA World Historic Welterweight Championship, October 8th

This was a heated title match, but suffered from Volador Jr./Barbaro having had so many singles matches before this and even other title matches like this. Still, a good version of this match in Puebla so no doubt it was fun for fans there to see these two titans clash.

70. Mephisto vs. Dragon Lee, April 10th

I’m fairly cool on this match. It’s still a very good match, but I thought that the earlier in the year Titan vs. Mephisto match was better in pretty much every way. Which is they it cracked to top 15.

71. Dragon Lee, Soberano Jr. & Blue Panther Jr. vs Mephisto, Luciferno & Ephesto, March 6th

Demons again work well as a unit and we get Blue Panther Jr. in a bigger match than many of the midcard matches we see him in.  Lots to like here and of course Dragon Lee/Soberano Jr. this match is one that lead towards Lee/Mephisto listed just above about a month later.

72. Blue Panther, Panterita del Ring, Black Warrior & Euforia vs. Mascara Ano 200, Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero, October 19th

The atomicos match that Blue Panther got for his 40 years in the business vs. NGD and their uncle Mascara Ano 2000.

Penterita del Ring taking up his old mask is better known as Ephesto in modern CMLL. Black Warrior being a legend who hasn’t been in CMLL lately or following this match/event.

All of Blue Panther’s team are Laguneros(a swampy region of Mexico) which is where Blue Panther is from and he is a major inspiration for basically any luchador who comes from that region.

73. Mephisto & Yago vs. Volador Jr. & Flyer, Gran Alternative Block A Finals,  May 4th

Finals of this tournament are higher on this list. Unlike that match this was a single round instead of the CMLL norm of 2/3 falls. Yago was given many small highlights year and might break out in 2019 if CMLL has confidence in him.

Flyer got that sorta push this year thanks to his relative La Park showing up in CMLL to save him after the finals of this tournament. With Flyer being in main events with relatives Volador Jr. & La Park.

74. Ultimo Guerrero & Templario vs. Kraneo & Audaz, Gran Alternative Block B Tournament match,  May 11th

The best match of Block B for that tournament. Audaz/Templario seemed poised for a singles feud that never really happened. Hopefully in 2019 CMLL gives these guys something to feud over.

75. Angel de Oro, Soberano Jr. & El Hijo de La Park vs NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero), May 25th

Great debut for El Hijo del La Park that many will forget because his father being in the much more celebrated main event where he continued his feud with Rush. If you’ve come this far you’ll see Hijo got to tag with his dad plenty this year. Those matches are rated higher for various reasons the biggest being an actual feud. Hopefully in 2019 Hijo de La Park is given more to do, perhaps if he signs or takes a bigger role/more dates in CMLL?

76. Luciferno, Dragon Rojo Jr. & Polvora vs. La Excelencia Tapatia (Titan, Triton & Esfinge), June 26th

Rojo/Polvora were great this year and Triton is one of my favorite guys on the roster. La Excelencia Tapatia make a great Trio, as of this writing, Triton/Esfinge still hold the Coliseo Tag Titles they won in 2018.

77. Rush vs. Ultimo Guerrero Lightning Match, May 4th

Two of the biggest rudos clash in a fun and memorable lightning match, but it didn’t lead to much as most of Rush’s Summer was focused on La Park.

78. Fenix, Volador Jr. & El Hijo de La Park vs. La Peste Negra(Negro Casas, Mr. Niebla & Barbaro Cavernario), June 22nd

Fenix and Hijo de La Park in the same match. An impossibility in 2017 made reality in 2018. A sign of how much CMLL is shaking things up and will hopefully keep bringing in exciting names in 2019.

79. La Park, Fenix, & Volador Jr. vs. Rush, Terrible & Cibernetico, June 15th

At the time I watched this match I called it my 2nd favorite of the Park/Rush series, but this was still pretty early in the saga. Still a fun main event and Rush/Park feud was fun to watch from start to now and is about a dozen matches(in CMLL) and many of those made this list because they are great.

80. Kazuchika Okada, Ultimo Guerrero & Negro Casas vs. Mistico, Valiente & Diamante Azul, August 17th

Okada showed up in Arena Mexico in a balloon filled haze after losing his IWGP Heavyweight Championship earlier in the summer. It was a fun ride, but one of the best parts probably isn’t the actual match, but seeing rudo old guards Ultimo/Casas like proud fathers with Okada in the post match interview.  

81. Ingobernables(Rush/Naito/Bushi) with Evil, Terrible, Bestia del Ring & La Comandante vs. Volador Jr., La Park & Diamante Azul, August 31st

This match is a silly clash of worlds while Okada had a more straight laced normal match in CMLL, with better technical action and less..silliness. Both earn a place on this list less for being great matches and more for being cool moments. I’d like to see NJPW talents in CMLL more often. (Post match interview for them as well)

82. NGD(Sanson, Cuatrero & Forastero) vs. Caristico, David Finlay & Flip Gordon, October 9th

Great Tuesday night main event and Flip Gordon looks as good here as he ever has in CMLL. Hopefully in 2018 Flip Gordon can get a singles match in CMLL even if it’s just a lightning.

83. Titan, Gran Guerrero & Ultimo Guerrero vs. Soberano Jr., Volador Jr. & Flyer, June 11th

An explosive Puebla main event that showed Titan gunning for Soberano Jr. hard. One of the best main events Puebla had all year.

84. Soberano Jr. © vs. Titan Mexican National Welterweight Championship match, June 25th

Both great talents, but had stronger singles matches with other people throughout the year. Was strange to see Titan play the rudo(heel) since he has been a tecnico(face) for so long.

85. Pentagon el 0M, Rush, & Terrible vs. Caristico, Volador Jr. & Valiente, June 29th

Pentagon’s debut in CMLL came a week after he attacked Caristico in a main event. Pentagon hasn’t made as big of a splash as most would have hoped, but had lots of his thunder stolen by La Park and son along with his own brother Fenix who all did more in 2018(in CMLL).

86. Tiger, Puma & Misterioso Jr. vs. Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr. & Black Panther, July 10th

Another great match in the long running Panthers/Felino family rivalry.

87. Yago vs. Flyer, New Values Cup Semi-Finals, April 3rd

Good 1 fall singles match. Yago showed his awareness here helping save 2 near botches from Flyer. Both guys have a future in the business and it started here with this great New Values Tournament. A highlight of May/March and Tuesday shows this year.

88. Forastero vs Audaz Lightning Match, August 17th

Audaz had a string of great lightning matches, this was one of the better ones, but not the best which is much higher up the list vs. Triton. Forastero looked good here as well. Forastero has not been in the big singles matches his cousins Forastero/Sanson have. This still isn’t a big singles match, but obviously practice for one down the road.

89. Titan vs. Angel de Oro, Lightning Match, August 14th

Two great tecnicos fighting it out to see who the better good guy is. A nice upper midcard pairing where both guys seemed like they needed the win. (Titan failing to win titles, Oro losing both his mask/title in 2018) Glad to see something like this instead of two guys who are just thrown together.

90. Kawato San vs. Tiger, Lightning Match, May 8th

Lots of people have dunked on Kawato San since he made his way onto the CMLL roster. I think he has improved a lot and his only singles match of the year(on CMLL TV) is worth checking out. I’m a big fan of Tiger, I like basically everyone on this list though.

91.  Volador Jr., Michael Elgin & Caristico vs. Barbaro Cavernario, Sanson & Cuatrero, September 28th

One of the stand out trios matches featuring Elgin in CMLL in 2018. The main Elgin matches to watch in CMLL this year like all years is Gran Prix(He’s been in all 3 since it’s 2016 revival), but more importantly his singles match with Ultimo the week after.

92. La Park, Atlantis & Mistico vs. Gilbert El Boricua, Negro Casas & Mephisto

Gilbert El Boricua’s debut, better known as Mil Muertes on Lucha Underground of Ricky Banderas in AAA/TNA. He will be working more with CMLL in 2019, but didn’t leave much of an impact in his 2-3 appearances in 2018 which marked his CMLL debut having historically been a AAA talent.

93. Audaz, Stigma & Triton vs. Templario, Okumura & Kawato San, October 15th

Great tecnico team and the up and coming rudo Templario. Great talent in here, even Kawato San/Okumura as team Japan. I think Okumura is underrated even if he doesn’t show up too often on this list. (He was in Gran Prix)

94. Marco Corleone © vs Diamante Azul for the CMLL World Heavyweight Title, January 15th

A good big man match and I think Marco Corleone’s last big singles match on TV before leaving wrestling later in the year.

95. Tiger vs Rey Cometa in a Lightning Match, September 4th

Rey Cometa doesn’t get much to do, but is one of the most solid guys on the roster. This is a great match from him and Tiger.

96. Triton, Esfinge & Soberano Jr. vs. Dragon Rojo Jr., Hechicero & Templario, September 4th

Why not have all these guys on the list again?

97. Stigma, Super Astro Jr. & Rey Samuray vs. Templario, Universo 2000 Jr. & King Jaguar, August 6th

The ‘Super Astro Jr. wasn’t on the list yet, but I wanted him to be’ entry.

98. Atlantis/Octagon/Rayo de Jalisco Jr. vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Fuerza Guerrera/Máscara Año 2000, July 13th

Would feel wrong to not include the match that marked Atlantis’ 40 years in the business. This match relies on nostalgia, but feels in place on this top 100 because of the ending.

99. Felino, Puma, Tiger & Stigma vs. Pantera Blanca Jr., Los Gemelos Pantera I & II, & Stuka Jr., April 16th

Some oddball matches to end on. First a fairly rare atomicos saw Felino, sons Tiger/Puma and unrelated Stigma vs. Pantera outsiders(they work lucha indies, think primarily Texas) and well known CMLL talent Stuka Jr. this was one of the last few matches Puma had before he shockingly departed CMLL.  

100. Blue Panther Jr., Black Panther & Stigma vs. Costa Ricans(Ares, Escualo & Kaiser), September 24th

Another match of outsiders this time from CWE a Costa Rican promotions that at one point was called CMLL Costa Rica(might still have some relation to CMLL). They have their own Youtube where they host content, figured I’d give them a shout out here at the end.

Hope you enjoyed CMLL this year, see you next year!

[paganinpurple]

MariChat May 2018 - Day 13: Nightmares

MariChat May 2018

L'âge de L'amour - Days  6 / 7 / 12 / 16 / 13 / 8 / 11 / 9 / 10 / 17 / 15 / 19 / 22 / 2 / 14 / 20 / Finale

Sweet Tooth - Days  4 / 5 / 1

Other Days - 3

Buy Me A Coffee?

“Hey Princess!” Chat shouted as he bounded through her skylight unceremoniously. “What's that?” he asked, ignoring the way her jaw dropped at the way he'd invited himself in without waiting for her approval. It was the first time since he'd started dropping by that he'd done that.

She snapped her jaw shut as she recovered. “Shh!” she scolded him, “My parents are asleep downstairs!” She was not ready to beg forgiveness for waking them before an early start tomorrow.

“Oops,” he said, looking anything but apologetic as he grinned bright enough to rival the sun. He pointed. “What is it though?”

Marinette glanced down at the embroidery hoop he was looking at. On it, she had fitted a piece of cotton which she was half-way through working on. Within the frame she had used brown and grey threads – muted colours to avoid overpowering the pastel blue material – but she had embellished it somewhat with sparkling dark blue and silver thread to highlight details.

It was going to be a summer dress eventually, but first she needed to get an idea for how large this embroidery would be when finished. “It's a dream-catcher,” she told him, “We covered some Native American history the other day in school and I got inspired.”

“Cool,” he said, grabbing an apple from her desk, another thing he'd done without permission. She stared suspiciously. “I used to have a dream-catcher when I was a kid,” he said, taking a bite, “My dad's always been overprotective-” -bite- “-and I used to hear him talking to himself about things that worried him. I started having dreams where a kid I knew stopped wanting to play with me or that someone would kidnap me and steal me away.” He took several bites from the apple as he finished talking, as if giving Marinette a chance to comment.

“Wow. That's...kinda dark for a kid.”

“It's what my dad  panicked about though,” he said with a nonchalant shrug, “Anyway, my maman got me a dream-catcher. I'd been having nightmares for a while then and I was pretty frightened to go to sleep at night. I'd beg them to let me sleep in their bed with them, but maman wanted me to get over the problem instead of  hiding. She told me my dream-catcher would catch all my nightmares but let the nice ones through so I shouldn't worry and go to sleep easily from then on.”

Marinette watched him sadly. She deeply regretted that he'd ever had to go through that, but also realised now that his father was probably still the route of all his unhappiness. Looking back, he'd dropped enough comments in front of her as Ladybug that had made her realise his home life was less than stellar. Maybe, even now, his father's worries sometimes worried him too?

In front of her, Chat grinned again but this time his teeth were directed more at the embroidery hoop than her. And, clearly, at his past memories too. “It didn't work. Instead I freaked out that all my nightmares were stuck in the net and that when it filled up they'd either overflow or some very dark and scary creature would appear above my bed to empty it.” He snickered. “It took me a month to admit to maman that the thing scared me. But, to be fair, I was only seven.”

He continued to watch the design, a sad look floating over his face unexpectedly. “I miss her,” he said quietly.

Marinette's brow creased as it dawned on her that Chat had lost his mother and now had a clearly detached but overprotective father. She hated that both the blondes in her life had to suffer such similar fates.

“Do they still scare you?” she asked.

“What?” He'd broken out of his reflection and was watching her wide-eyed.

“Dream-catchers? Do they still scare you? Because if not, I'm sure I could frame this fabric for you.” She witnessed his obvious confusion and decided to elaborate, “You could hang it over your bed or something. For her. But since it's just a picture, no creepy dream-emptiers come with it.”

She grinned when he did, echoing his gentle giggle that followed until she found herself watching a much happier Kitty as he collapsed at the memory of his own ridiculousness and fighting not to join in herself.

Buy Me A Coffee?

[dailyaudiobible]

08/18/2018 DAB Transcript

Esther 1:1-3:15 , 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 , Psalms 35:17-28 , Proverbs 21:19-20

Today is the 18th day of August. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it's great to be here with you as we close down another week. And even as we close down another week, we'll be opening a brand new book today.

Introduction to the book of Esther:

The book of Esther is a short little book, but it's a high drama story that's full of intrigue. Esther tells of a young Hebrew girl named Hadassah who was orphaned while in exile in Persia. And then she was taken in and raised as a daughter by her cousin Mordecai who was of the tribe of Benjamin. But they were in exile and exiled Hebrews often took on localized names. So, Hadassah was given the name Esther, which translates to mean star or morning star in Jewish tradition. From the scriptures we know that Esther was stunningly beautiful and she possessed a quiet character. And when King Ahasuerus, who is associated with Xerxes, sought to find a replacement for the banished Queen Vashti, Esther was chosen, although she kept the fact that she was Jewish a secret. And this proved very providential. Around the same time, a man named Haman rose to prominence before the king. And Haman was a descendant of King Agag of Amalec. So, the Hebrews and the Amalekites had been enemies dating all the way back to their origins, which would be Jacob and Esau. King Agag was executed by the prophet Samuel after King Saul defeated the Amalekites in battle. So, Haman’s hated of the Jews was personal. And it was reignited when Mordecai would not bow down before him in honor as the king’s highest official. And so Haman devised a plan to annihilate every Jew in the Persian empire. So, that's quite a backdrop for quite a dramatic story. On one side of the king was this beautiful Jewish queen Esther. On the other side was this high official Haman who intended to wipe all Jews from the earth. So, the book of Esther is the basis for the festival Purim for the Jewish people, which was established by Mordecai in the book of Esther. The story takes place during the same period of history that we've been reading about when we've read through Nehemiah and the previous books that describe the exile. We'll find many parallels in the book of Esther that we can apply to our lives. And God will always show up. The circumstance doesn't always dictate the outcome of things. And everyone has an important role to play because God brings people into the picture for specific times and specific missions to get major things done in his kingdom. This can be large as Queen Esther saving God's people from destruction or God sending you to rescue your next door neighbor. We're all here for such a time as this. And so, with that being said, let's dive into the book of Esther 1:1-3:15. And we're reading from the Good News Translation this week.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for another week in Your word. And we thank You for all that You have spoken to us, all that You have shifted within us, all the seeds that have been planted in our lives that will yield a harvest. And we thank You for bringing us this far. All the way to the beautiful and redemptive story of Esther. We ask that Your Holy Spirit plant this in our lives and we thank You God. We love You and we worship You. And we pray these things in Jesus name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, it’s where you find what's going on around here. So, certainly, be sure to check it out.

Dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what's gonna…what's gonna go on around here? (Brian laughs.) It's where you find out what's going on around here so be sure to check it out.

Visit the Prayer Wall. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Stay connected.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee, 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning Daily Audio Bible. My name is Joy. This is my first time calling in and I’m so blessed by this ministry. I have been enjoying it on my walks and jogs every morning and I assure you that I have been praying and growing. This morning I’m calling in because I was encouraged to when I heard two other brothers from the prayer line call in who are in ministry as we are. And I felt led to go ahead and call in my first time to ask for prayer for my husband and I. We recently planted a church, our second, in Texas. And it’s been a four year journey and we decided to let go of this position because another phone call came in for a church in Missouri. And, so, we have been moving that direction, to take over a church in Missouri. However, we got a call the night before at 9 PM from that church, the night before we were to be celebrated the next Sunday morning to say goodbye to our church in Texas that that board has decided not to continue with us because we are foster parents who are having to go to court and be in trials to win our baby boy who we have had for 20 months in our home and we also have his sister and she is adopted. This trial has been going on since the end of January. It is now August. No one has ever seen a trial go this long and every time we go to court there seems to be a reschedule and with no end in sight. And so we lost this church and…this is the church in Missouri as well. All was…

Hi. My name is Shika from Los Angeles and I just started listening. __ start from January and I just hit February and I’ve fallen in love with the community and all I can think of is how I really wish I had a community like this. But I’m calling because I really need prayer. I’ve been married for four years. I’ve known him for nine years. He’s traditional, like, he’s Indian family. And I __ from Jamaica. And his parents have just made my life hell. And I thought it was just his past, like, they call me the N word, they call me __. And I’ve put up with this cause I thought…well…they don’t know better. My __ family, they don’t know Jesus but he’s been the problem too. He just came down and __ hateful person. And then when I was pregnant he was really verbally and emotionally abusive. He would like scream at me. And right when I had my son he __ didn’t want anything to do with him. And he was just terrible. He just….he was just so caught up on status and show. That there was spite for him. And, I’d said, you know, we needed a good environment __, and we need to be separated. __ that I have to fight him tooth and nail. __. I spoke to a lawyer and he said that he would get custody. __. And if he was as manipulative as I say then I won’t fare well. So, I don’t know what to do. I tried everything. I’ve tried counseling. Maybe my message is too long. I’ve tried counseling multiple times. __ I’ve tried everything I could with him. But he still is always blaming me and putting me down and I don’t know how to get out of this and I don’t know how to get strong enough to __ life time because he’s only twenty two months and __ custody...and…

Hi DAB family. This is Shelby. Forgive me for reading this but I don’t want to ramble. I’ve been listening for six years and finally got the courage to call today. I pray along with you all and look forward to hearing your familiar voices most every day. I’m asking you all to pray with me in finding the house that the Lord would have me have because I am a single changing aging woman and desperately need to downsize to something I can manage. I can’t afford to move unless I sell my house and I feel trapped in it. I’ve been down in the dumps over my living situation for years and I’m stepping out of faith, asking the Lord to provide the house of his choosing. I already feel the Lord’s hand in this because I found a home that I think will work and a couple is coming to look at my house on Saturday. I haven’t even listed it in the house and found wasn’t listed. Please pray that if it’s the Lord’s will, and that’s the important part, the couple will buy it and I will be able to get the other house. Timing is critical. I need prayer for wisdom, discernment, and courage to handle the negotiation and all of the for sale by owner transactions. I confess, I’m afraid. I also need strength to finish cleaning and decluttering before they see the house on Saturday, August 18th. Thank you family, Brian, and Jill for your prayers and all that you do. Listening to the Bible through the DAB all these years has changed my life and by relationship with the Lord. I recommend it to everyone I talk to. I hope to come back soon with a praise report. God bless you all. Bye-bye.

Hi family this is Prophetic Intercessor from North Carolina calling just to say shed prayer for those who feel that their dreams have been deferred for so long. And I have been so heavy the last two days. And my brother and my mother prayed for me just a few hours ago and I felt such a weight lift and I wanted to pass that forward because I know what it is to feel heavy and I know what it is to have a dream that’s deferred that makes your heartsick. But the other part of the verse in proverbs says that when the dream is fulfilled it is like a tree of light. So, I’m just calling to pray for those who find themselves with sickened hearts because there’s s some dreams and desires you’ve laid before God that you haven’t seen manifested yet. And I want to speak light over your life and I want to encourage you to stay on the course because God is not a man that He should rise but every word that He spoke He is well able to bring it to pass and I pray that God send a fresh wind into your life today to breathe upon every dry dream, to breathe upon every dry bone, that a new wind will come to every valley that you’re walking in until flesh comes back upon your bones and until you are reinvigorated. I pray in the name of Jesus that He would invigorate your heart today with peace, with joy, with hope, and with strength. That you will not stagger at the promise, but that you would hold fast, and that God would release eagles wings so that you do not faint, hallelujah, and that you do not fall moments before you cross over the finish line because the enemy’s tactic is to wear us out before we lay hold of the promise. But I rebuke every satanic plot that gets you to give up moments before the promise is realized in your life. And I join forces with you as a prophetic intercessor and I stand in the gap with you that your heart will no longer be sick because your dream is coming to be fulfilled. Be blessed. And I…

[aquatictimes]

So, this is why I’ve been kinda absent for the last couple of weeks: my boy, Theo, got very, very sick at the beginning of the month. The kind of sick where the vet can’t make any guarantees. 

I’d noticed that he was a little quiet; off his food, but while I was concerned, I wasn’t overly worried. Theo was diagnosed with Calicivirus as a kitten (despite having had all his vaccines), and short periods discomfort from inflamed joints, mild stomach upsets and lack of appetite are not uncommon. Usually, I keep a close eye on him, perhaps give him something to relieve any discomfort (prescribed by the vet), and he’s back to normal within a couple of days. 

But this time, I realised that something more serious was happening - he would remain in one position for hours at a time, wouldn’t show even a little interest in food and, worst of all, his breathing was shallow and laboured. I got him to the vet and was told that this was likely a chest infection and that his temperature was very high. He stayed with them, tests were performed, over 150mls of bloody fluid was removed from his chest cavity and he was hooked up to IV antibiotics. We were all very worried.

Later that day, I saw his chest x-rays - his lungs were barely visible, had been crushed inwards by fluids, and even his heart and diaphragm were obscured. Again, the vets said that this was very worrying, particularly because none of us were sure of the cause. There were no wounds, and we keep our cats indoors to lessen, in part, the risk of exactly this sort of thing happening. They have an outdoor run, too, but this is always supervised. 

The first two days of treatment rendered a little improvement, but it was too early to get hopeful. By the third, things really did seem to be looking up, and I was feeling a lot more positive when I went to see him. Of course, that’s when everything started to go massively downhill. 

His IV medications had been administered about 5 minutes before I got there, and he suddenly just...went limp. He was almost totally unresponsive, cool to the touch and had dilated pupils, but his heart was strong and his breathing still improved. The vets had never encountered anything quite like this, particularly because he’d been doing so well that day - the only thing they could think of was that he’d gone into anaphylactic shock. He was given steroid injections immediately, despite the risks that this could encourage a resurgence in bacterial growth, but there really wasn’t any time to worry about that. It was two hours of seeing my boy barely alive, cold and unmoving on a surgical table. 

Amazingly, though, he started to pick up. It was just the odd twitch, at first, but then there were little leg-shakes, blinks and eventually he even managed to wobble to his feet and bury his head in my chest. By 9 in the evening, he was almost back to how he’d been that morning, albeit still a little shaky. None of us were comfortable with him being away from the vets overnight, though, and were worried that taking him to the hospital would cause a great deal of stress and might even end up being too much for him. I still can’t believe their generosity, but the vet offered to take him home for the night to keep watch. Whilst watching him drive away with someone else was horrible, it meant that he’d be receiving excellent care from people he was comfortable with, and I wouldn’t have changed it for anything.

He made it through the night. I was so relieved.

Over the next few days, he continued to improve, even with fluid still building up in his chest and a high temperature, and was now only having his antibiotics injected, rather than dosed intravenously. After a full week of constant care with the vets, general anaesthetics, x-rays, IV fluids, antibiotics, biopsies and a million other treatments, he was allowed to come home for the full weekend. 

And then he started playing. And grooming. And purring. 

I can’t begin to describe how happy that made me. We’re another week-and-a-bit into treatment now, and he’s back to eating well, knocking things off shelves, play-fighting with his cousin and racing me up the stairs (he wins every time. Big surprise.). It looks like he’ll be fine.

We’re still not certain of the cause - the biopsies turned up a ton of both aerobic and anaerobic bacterial strains, but no cancers or other conditions - best guess is that his cousin might have nicked him with a tooth, which would have allowed infection to set-in. Still only a hypothesis. 

This kind of situation is terrifying to any pet owner - these are our babies, and we’ll do anything in our power to keep them happy and safe. Theo, though, is also an emotional support animal. He doesn’t know it, but he has been one of my only reasons to wake up every day (this is before I kept fish, but the point still stands) and has pulled me through some of the darkest times of my life. I’m honestly not sure what I would’ve done if he hadn’t made it, and just considering the possibility makes me want to throw up. Again, I’m sure loads of people can relate to this. 

If I hadn’t taken him to the vet, I would have lost him. I’m not sure he had even 24 hours left in him, and his initial (visible) deterioration had only taken place over a couple of days. Just goes to show that you really can’t be too careful - if something’s up, don’t wait. Get them to the vet.

[calzona-all-ways]

A promise of someday

Author: lilyme (aka. redslilstories aka. me ;)) Summary: They had learned new things, explored, and she could say for herself that she had rediscovered some things that she had loved and missed about herself. But now with a vision cleared from the fog of years of disagreements, fighting and pain, she had also gained some new perspective about what else she loved and missed. Pairing: Callie/Arizona Rating: PG Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show “Grey’s Anatomy”. They were created by Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC network. No copyright infringement intended!All mistakes are mine.

A/N: Yet another story for Christmas! Enjoy!

It could have been awkward.

But they had decided not to let it.

And why should they?

In recent months they were getting along far better than in the years before.

And so the decision had been easily made.

Arizona had managed to get the days around Christmas off and thus had not sent Sofia to New York by herself, but had accompanied her to spend the holidays in the winter-y Big Apple as well.

Of course the little girl was over the moon about it. And even Callie was excited to have her over for a few days.

The brunette had to admit that New York could be a pretty lonely place. Especially since Sofia was staying with Arizona for the year, and also because her and Penny had not worked out the they she had hoped. At some point they had recognized that they were at different places in their lives and had decided to split up and remain friends instead.

But despite the fact that the end of her most recent relationship still saddened her, she was determined to not think about that for now…or the fact that she often found herself missing her life in Seattle. Because the most important factor… factors of her life were with her for Christmas. And there couldn’t be a better feeling.

The three of them had decorated the tree together – topped with a Christmas star Sofia had made in school and which luckily had survived the flight from Seattle to New York. And of course they had baked some cookies, visited the tree at Rockefeller Center – where Callie had enjoyed a good falling on her butt in the skating rink, much to Sofia and Arizona’s amusement - before heading home to enjoy a delicious home-cooked Christmas Eve meal.

Now it was the morning after, the big day, and most of the presents were unpacked.

Sofia had given her mothers handcrafted paperweights. Which were stones with molten crayon colors decorating them – Arizona’s more colorful and flowery, Callie’s with a more abstract pattern in fairly darker, not to say badass, tones. Also some bookmarks made out of felt and embroidered with notes saying ‘I love my Mom’. Additionally each had been given a little jar of carefully hand-picked pralines.

She in her turn had received a Barbie, equipped with astronaut gear, an ‘Operation’ game and a kids’ anatomy book, because right now she really wanted to be a doctor like her parents. But maybe she would switch back to wanting to be an astronaut when she grew up.

The biggest surprise, however, had been a photo camera the two women had picked out for her via various Skype sessions.

It was easy to handle and also fairly robust should it happen to experience a fall. And it could store up to a thousand pictures.

The first of which were already being made as Sofia walked around the apartment excitedly, capturing everything she could, her favorite being the view of early morning Central Park they had from up here.

Her parents let her be for the time being, they themselves not entirely done with exchanging gifts.

“So, I know you said I shouldn’t buy you anything, but you know that’s not an option for me,” Callie laughed as she retrieved a medium-sized box from its hiding spot in a drawer of her living room dresser and handed it to the blonde. Albeit being a last minute gift, it was no less thoughtful.

The blonde one accepted gift with a cheeky, “I know you wouldn’t be able to resist,” and opened the proffered item. She soon discovered that it contained a frilly Christmas sweater – in red, of course. Callie had always loved Arizona in red. And Arizona loved frilly, silly sweaters. The brunette remembered her having several of them she used to wear around the house and to the occasional informal party. And she loved this special holiday – well, in most years, anyway.

Accompanying the sweater was a box of Hershey’s kisses, because the blonde sweet tooth also had a fondness for those.

“Awww, thank you!” Arizona grinned, holding the sweater to her chest to get an idea how it’d look on her. “I have a feeling I will be wearing this for the remainder of our stay”.

“You better, “ Callie returned challengingly as her heart warmed at the joy she saw in the blue eyes. That’d be eight more days. It would be a difficult task and she doubted the blonde would really follow through with her announcement. But that was less relevant.

To her it was more important that Arizona completed her Christmas in a way she thought would be lost forever.

She still remembered their first Christmas together. She had worked the night shift on December 24th, which, with so many emergencies coming in had dragged into nearly a double shift to last until early afternoon. Putting a stop to their very mundane plans of Callie coming home on the 25th to wake Arizona and see what their respective Santa Baby had put under the tree for them before the blonde had to be at work at 9 am.

She had informed the blonde of this in an disappointed voice message. Stunned beyond belief when sometime in the early morning hours, just when she had retreated to an on-call room to get a couple of hours of rest, a blonde, dimpled figure with Christmas hat had snuck into said room to lay down beside her. Nothing much had happened, except for soft exchanges of ‘Merry Christmas’ and 'I love you’ before they had managed to catch a little sleep snuggled together before each getting back to work.

In that year they had exchanged their presents on the evening of Christmas Day. But it had been no less special than all the holidays that had followed. And definitely one she wouldn’t forget. Because it was spent with the love she would never forget.

“Uh, I hope Sofia hasn’t told you anything,” Arizona worried and Callie, being consumed by her thoughts, only now realized she had disappeared into the girl’s room and now quickly emerged with something held behind her back. “It’s nothing special. But I hope you like it,” she nodded as she sat down on the couch next to Callie again.

“You shouldn’t have…,” this one remarked with an amused pout, which was immediately countered by a look that clearly spoke, 'You neither’, and opened the box to reveal a beautiful little ensemble of woolen scarf, gloves and a bobble hat. Each item black with dark red trim.

Callie actually used to hate hats of any kind, insisting that her head simply wasn’t made for them. But moving to New York had taught her differently. That it was better to have your head and ears covered than to freeze yourself to death. Well, at least that was how Arizona had perceived some pictures she had from Sofia and Callie’s first winter in the Big Apple. And Callie - against all odds – could even wear a bobble and still look hardcore.

And overall… “I thought you’d look…”

’ Beautiful’, 'cute, 'amazing’.

… all of these fit Callie, Arizona wagered. But instead she said, “I thought it’d suit you”.

The brunette looked at her, and there was a hint of a smile, albeit sad, to be seen on the full lips. Arizona knew Callie had an idea of what she had intended to say. Even without actually producing her thoughts, the other woman could could still read her. Just like she could her. And so she could not miss Callie’s expression or what it might mean.

Was Callie having regrets about what had happened? About how they had ended? About moving across the country to be with a love that sadly hadn’t lasted? Was she struggling with the turn her life had taken?

She shouldn’t.

Arizona knew she had needed time to heal.

They both had needed that time.

And despite all the falls they both had had since then, it had done them good.

They had learned new things, explored, and Arizona could say for herself that she had rediscovered some things that she had loved and missed about herself. And she was certain Callie had similar experiences.

But now with a vision cleared from the fog of years of disagreements, fighting and pain, Arizona had also gained some new perspective about what else she loved and missed.

And it was Callie.

She could never not want Callie in her life. As more than Sofia’s mother and amazing friend.

She hoped someday it could happen.

“It’s good to keep you warm in frosty New York”.

Maybe not today or in the coming months.

“And, well, Seattle can get pretty cold too, if…”

'If you decide to come back someday’, Arizona thought and gave Callie an encouraging smile. She would be ready when Callie was. Welcoming her with open arms and an open heart.

She was not surprised when the brunette, “Thank you,” engulfed her in a grateful embrace that was about so much more than just the gift.

It was a promise of someday.

And each knew this time they’d be better.

END