#I also just wanted an excuse to practice a different way of drawing bodies
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Surprise I doodled some Hisoillu cause these 2 psychopath's live rent free in my head
#digital drawing#fanart#digital art#my art#hisoillu#seriously I have thought of at least 4 different stories of these 2 and all of it is full of A N G S T#hunter x hunter fanart#hxh fanart#hxh#I also just wanted an excuse to practice a different way of drawing bodies#btw I was gonna give Illumi brown pants and then one of my discord friends said I dressed him up as shaggy and I can't unsee it#hisoka#illumi zoldyck
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charr body types for practice, rambling nonsense under the cut
ive been trying to get better at drawing more varied body types for a while now and i think ive still got a long way to go but im getting there. fat and muscle definition werent something i bothered to learn for a long time because all i wanted to draw was twinks and dragons ... but in the last year or so ive really been pushing myself to do better. i think learning to draw different body shapes is really important and improves your overall anatomy skill by a mile, its also just really fun for me to think about how fat is distributed across the body and affected by gravity and all that stuff. bodies in general are my favorite thing to draw and what i spend the most time sketching
ok enough word vomit lets talk about my ocs
iovitus is supposed to be built more like an athlete, but im not sure i got that across very well. they're still skinny and comparatively twinky next to their fellow cats, but still strong and in good shape. after they left the legions they didnt really bother that much with the upkeep of their figure, but since theyre focusing more on mercenary work again they've been better about it
most of iovitus' muscle is in their shoulder & back, as their weapons of choice -- longbow and throwing axes -- require a lot of strength in that area. theyre very triangular shaped & top-heavy, with a broad chest & shoulders, thin waist and narrow hips. skipped leg day :/
nero is supposed to have sort of a dad-bod type of build. i changed a bit about his design as ive been tinkering around with his lore recently. she was always supposed to have some tummy to her, but i dont think i drew it very well in the past. i think a dad bod is very fitting because she is one after all
i also wanted to make her blind eye more obvious because i kept forgetting about it whenever i drew her so umm sorry babe. still need to come up with an explanation as to why it happened! was considering having him just born with it for a while, but i love scars and scary traumatic events so... sorry nero
in spite of the good layer of fat he's got on his body though, nero is very strong and muscular underneath it all. his warband doesnt do a lot of combat stuff anymore but he's still working most of the time and takes good care of himself. juicy thighs btw
ruckus... i dont have much to say about. i love you babygirl
she's so much taller than everyone else.... its difficult to notice in the line-up as they are, but i wanted to see so i lined them up in front of one another and. well. ->
look at her. and iovitus. why are you so small??
finally, lia! she's still small in comparison to most other blood legion charr, but she makes up for it in her strength. or, well, she might've in her younger years; at her current age she's definitely lost a lot of that muscle definition just by the nature of aging
thats not to say she's weak, though. she can and will definitely fuck you up if you try her
her burned arm is her main weak point. it was burned severely enough where the muscle and nerves were permanently damaged, resulting in a lot of stiffness, uncomfortability, and chronic pain. the movement in that arm is limited and she has to guard it closely if she's ever in a scuffle
i think in general a lot of muscle definition for charr is lost just cause they have fur to cover it up, evident by the fact you cant really see a lot of it on the in-game models. or at least thats my excuse for not knowing how to define muscle with lineart
#iovitus rainbreak#nero wolfcaller#ruckus gutsaw#lia windwalker#my art#charr#guild wars charr#gw2 charr#gw2#gw2 art#gw2 ocs#gw2 oc#guildwars2#guild wars#guild wars 2#guild wars art#guild wars oc#cw nudity#i guess??? not really but whateva#i got really lazy with the scars in this one so ignore how butt ugly they are ok#theyre not the main focus here
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This is a sort of response to a post I've seen floating around, drawing parallels between the chains in Blitz’s trip that bind him to Stolas and the chains that bind Husk, Angel, and Fizz to Alastor, Valentino, and Mammon respectively. I'm not commenting on that post directly bc I avoid Discourse (tm) at all costs for the sake of my health, and I don’t want to get drawn into an unproductive argument that will mess with my anxiety for a week. I'm not trying to start a fight, just get my thoughts out on why I feel that comparison is inaccurate, and hopefully provide some helpful context and nuance.
So! Let's start with a few disclaimers! First of all, I'm not going to debate the moral purity of any of these characters. I just don't think it's an interesting or valuable critique. On a related note, I am not trying to excuse any of their behavior. I'm happy to admit that my favorite characters in this show have hurt people and are sometimes total assholes. Stolas treated Blitz very poorly at the beginning of their relationship, frequently pushed or even ignored boundaries, and was just kind of a dick about things. My objection to a direct comparison between Stolas and the other characters mentioned above isn't because I think Stolas hasn't done anything wrong; I just think that saying they're similar without further clarification or commentary ignores the nuance of the situation.
Read on below the cut, it's gonna be another long one folks!
Let's start by examining the "agreements" forged by Val, Mammon, and Alastor. I think it's important to note that, in their cases, the person they got to sign their contract could have been anyone. Husk and Angel could have been any sinners, Fizz could have been any imp. They aren't interested in them as people; they were only using them to gain more power for themselves. The only thing that matters to them is, "What can you do for me?" Angel and Fizz quite clearly become cogs in the machine of Val and Mammon's businesses, and Alastor only thinks of Husk as a tool to be leveraged in specific situations to further his own mysterious goals. Each of them has demonstrated to their subjugates that they own them, body and soul. They have signed legally and spiritually binding contracts that essentially surrender their autonomy to a more powerful demon.
Stolas and Blitz’s agreement is... not that. In the most literal sense, they don’t appear to have made any sort of binding deal. They just made a verbal agreement, which I sincerely doubt has anywhere near the force of a signed soul contract. Additionally, Stolas did not ask for and does not seem to want that sort of total control over Blitz. He very clearly does not view this as any sort of power exchange (which may actually be part of the issue, since it leaves him blind to Blitz’s discomfort with their class difference), he sees it as "favors for favors." While this agreement is inherently unbalanced due to Stolas's status, it's worth noting that they’re both putting something on the line here. The other three risk practically nothing (if the person bound to them fails they can always get a new one), but Stolas IS taking on a real risk by letting Blitz access the living world illegally using his book. Again, that doesn't make his actions right, and probably helped him to justify them, but it does set their relationship apart from the others.
In my opinion, some of Stolas's greatest flaws are his thoughtlessness and his ability to justify his own actions to himself. This manifests in the fact that he clearly doesn't see the ways in which their relationship is hurting Blitz. He convinced himself that this was just an equal exchange, and a continuation of the dynamic Blitz established in their first encounter as adults: "I fuck you, and you give me the book". As he becomes more aware of his feelings for Blitz, though (stay tuned for a deeper analysis of this progression later), he also begins to realize that Blitz isn't happy with this relationship. And this, as @masonshmason pointed out, is the central fact that separates Stolas and Blitz from the other relationships. Stolas did not realize- or chose to ignore- how he was hurting Blitz. Once he came to terms with it, though, he understood that he had to make things right. He specifically says this in "Just Look My Way"; "I will try to make amends/ For making you means to an end". None of the others could say this, because in their case, that was the POINT. Angel, Fizz, and Husk were ALWAYS a means to an end, intentionally trapped for that purpose.
We also need to talk about the CONTEXT of the scenes in which the chain imagery appears. For both Angel and Husk, the chain is at least semi-literal, a physical (and perhaps supernatural) manifestation of the way their souls are bound to an overlord. In "Two Minutes Notice," Fizz purposely CHOOSES to represent his relationship to Mammon as chains around his wrists. However, Blitz's scene is part of a drug trip after being forcibly dosed with hallucinogens. It does not exist in any literal sense, nor is it a representation of Blitz’s conscious, literal thoughts. What it DOES do is showcase Blitz’s deepest fears and his greatest flaws through symbolism and metaphor. Blitz is not literally afraid of being forced to wear a clown costume; he is afraid he'll never escape his past traumas or Fizz's shadow. THIS is the context in which Blitz sees himself being chained by Stolas: a bad trip all about his fear of intimacy and vulnerability.
Stolas appears in this trip as someone elevated high above him, something he's climbing towards, reaching for, even though it means being chained to him. It's directly preceded by his ex girlfriend and his former best friend berating him for how he pushes people away even though he hates being alone. Then Stolas directly asks him, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" Furthermore, the WAY in which he is framed is alluring, slightly hazy, golden and tempting. It couldn’t be further from the ugly, slime-covered past he's fleeing. It's a new start, a chance for something better that seems too good to be true. This trip is all about Blitz’s inability to be vulnerable with another person. The chain around his neck is a representation of the fact that, by getting closer to Stolas, he's giving Stolas the power to hurt him emotionally.
And man, there's a part of him that wants to give Stolas that power. At this critical moment, he's not baring his teeth in defiance or anger. He's blushing, just slightly, and he looks... nervous. Blitz's instinct, when things get too real, is to cut and run. Hurt them before they can hurt you. Abandon them before they have the chance to leave you. It’s how he tanked his relationship with Verosika. This is a manifestation of what might happen if he stays. This is the sort of trouble he can't fight his way out of.
This is the emotional climax of the scene. There are so many ways they could have gone with this if they wanted to represent Blitz being chained and trapped by his agreement with Stolas. If that was the fear--if that was the POINT--they could have had the chains wrap around him until he couldn't move, or glow white hot and burn into his skin, or a million other more direct metaphors. But the chains aren't the thing that hurts him. It's the feathers: the thing that's left behind after Stolas abandons him, sing-songing "you're going to die alone" right alongside two other people who he loved and who now want nothing to do with him.
Finally, let's look at Blitz’s reaction to this scene. It's a moment of revelation for him, in which he realizes he's pushing everyone away and starts to make an effort to change. It's why he's a bit more open with Moxxie in the next scene. The trip sequence ALSO inspires him to get closer to Stolas, indicating that the trip didn’t make him realize "I'm trapped and I need to get out of this" in the same way Fizz did. Rather, he realizes that he doesn't want Stolas to leave him like everyone else, and he wants to start feeling out what it would be like to deepen the connection between them. As I've mentioned in other posts, their kiss at the end of "truth seekers" represents a level of intimacy that we haven't seen before; it's teasing, affectionate, shows Blitz’s interest in making Stolas happy, and takes place in front of M&M, who have repeatedly teased him about their relationship before.
In summary, while the image of chains may have been invoked in all four of these relationships, they don’t necessarily mean the same thing across the board. Blitz and Stolas's relationship differs substantially from the others in its dynamic, and the context of their scene also sets it apart. It's important to look into the details and the nuance of their relationship to interpret what's going on under layers of trauma and unreliable narration.
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ARTIST’S CANVAS
❨ summary ❩ twst › when you look at a pretty blank canvas, its only natural you’d want to turn it into something more breathtaking.
tags ✧ fluff; lower case writing.
amanuensis’ message ⊹ 10 months, not a single written fic. i am so sorry yall
⌜ 0.4+ ⌟
♫ spin you round — rocco.
twst masterlist
“s’cold.”
the dark—almost black—paste coating leona’s hand in intricate designs setting on his skin mixed with the warmth of your hands around his felt funny. the paste was a drastic contrast upon his tawny skin. on occasion, he’d let your creative mind take over and draw on him with any writing utensil that was nearby. in class, it’d give him an excuse not to pay attention and in his dorm, your lap to sleep while you worked. half of the time when you were finished, he considered getting another tattoo, snapping a picture when you looked away just in case it faded. not once had he thought of a temporary tattoo.
the first thing that came to mind when he thought of temporary were the ones on paper that you’d transfer with water. ones that he’d slap on his body to look cool as a kid. the same ones that’ll start peeling the moment you brush it wrong. this was a completely different method than what he was thinking. a creamy consistency of dye in a piping bag. henna. it rolled off the tongue as smooth as its application.
a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment, pausing to give him a quick glance. he looked like a cat watching a ping pong match. you don’t think you’ve ever seen his pupils this large and his slowly swaying tail certainly wasn’t helping the comparison.
leona watched in silent interest as you worked. It had to be something about your hands. How your pinky stayed out for stabilization, how carefully you held his hand as if you’d break it if you moved him a certain way. then again, he could also blame that on the amount of focus you had. they moved with practiced grace, your emerald-green painted nails glinting under the golden lamp light.
his sheets were littered with various templets and stencils complicated, simple, and some in the middle. he didn’t look at everything before he chose his. he didn’t exactly care what you put on him as long as that pretty little head of yours was having some semblance of fun, those talented hands of yours.
his ear flicks. “what color is this again?”
you take a moment to pull his hand closer to the light when it came down to the finer details. “regular old brown. it might look a little reddish in the sun though.”
“neon?”
you scoff out a laugh. “gods, no. way more subtle.”
even after you had laughed, your smile stayed—as heartwarming and raw as ever. like a sweetener in a cup of coffee he could never get tired to drinking or the smell of gas he found a guilt pleasure. gods, he wanted to hear it again.
maybe being a living, plain canvas wasn’t so bad. as long as it was you painting the blank spots needing filled.
#i missed yall#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst fluff#twisted wonderland scenarios#twst fanfic#twisted wonderland headcanons#twisted wonderland savanaclaw#twisted wonderland imagines#twst#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#savanaclaw#savanaclaw x reader#twisted wonderland leona#leona kingsholar x reader#twst leona#leona x reader#leona kingscholar
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Restoring the Roots (Joel Miller x Therapist! reader)
Chapter 1: Pre-Contemplation
Chapter 2 here | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | main masterlist |
Pairing: Joel Miller x therapist! reader, post outbreak Rating: none, will be changed to explicit in future chapters (slow burn, eventual smut, age gap) Summary: Life after moving to Jackson looks drastically different for Joel, survival mode is over and now he and Ellie can finally put down new roots. Ellie adapts easily but Joel finds himself struggling to settle into this new life, in more ways than some. At Ellie and Tommy’s insistence, Joel begrudgingly finds himself in therapy to try and work through his struggles but what he encounters is more than just painful memories and deeply rooted trauma. A/N: I cannot say enough thank you's to the number of lovely humans who encouraged this idea and supported me as I embark on my very first fic! And what better Pedro character to be the guinea pig for this idea? Lots of this story draws on my personal knowledge as a social worker, as I am working towards becoming a certified equine assisted therapist. Consequently, there are lots of horsey terms, therapy terms, and vivid descriptions of trauma at certain points. Feel free like, comment, or reblog if you enjoy it :)
Taglist (for now): @beskarandblasters, @pr0ximamidnight, @theewokingdead, @atinylittlepain, @prolix-yuy, @swiftispunk, @harriedandharassed, @amywritesthings
If anyone wants to be on the taglist please let me know! If you don't want to be on it then also let me know lol.
~~~~~~~
You sat up taller in your chair, arching your back and rolling your shoulders in an effort to stretch out your spine, exhaling softly as you heard the cacophony of crunches and protests from your muscles. You had been hunched over your notepad for over an hour, eyebrows scrunched together and your mind running on autopilot, as you caught up on client notes that you had fallen behind on for the last couple days. The downside of having a small therapy practice, hell any therapy practice, was that there was a never ending litany of documentation to fill out. Seeing as you were the only therapist in the tiny commune of Jackson, there was never a shortage of clients and consequently, never a shortage of session notes that you had to write.
“Hun.”
You hear your name spoken in a warm tone from behind you. You barely look up from the page as you try to rewrite the word ‘diagnosis’ after what feels like the fifth time. The word has basically lost all its meaning at this point.
“Honey, c’mon, the sun is about ready to set and you can wrap that up tomorrow.” The cover page to the notepad closes on top of your hand and you look up to see your assistant, Tracey, giving you a knowing look and then glancing towards the front of the office. You follow her gaze to the front windows and take in the deep ember orange hue washing over the business faces and windows on the opposite side of the street, signaling the end of another day. Sighing softly, you lean back in your chair and cross your arms over your chest with a frown. You know she’s right and yet you still have the same dispute every day.
“Trace, you and I both know that if I don’t get them done today, they will just be added to tomorrow’s to do list, besides this is the last one I swear,” you say to her with a smirk, as if she has not heard that excuse before.
You were never the kind of person to half-ass your responsibilities at your job, including client documentation, even if there was no longer any governing body or association to uphold professional social work standards. You did your job with integrity, even the mundane administrative tasks that involved more writing than actual talking with clients. Tracey knew this of course, it was something she admired about you, how suited you were for this line of work. It was clear that you cared deeply for the clients that you supported. But it doesn’t mean it was not a fight when the end of the workday rolled around and she had to tear you away from your desk and practically shove you out of the office door.
She rolled her eyes at you and her lips curled into a small smile as she headed towards the door with her coat and bag in tow. “Promise me you will at least be out of here before the night patrol starts?” She points her finger at you as she stops just ahead of the door. You nod and wave her off as you turn your focus back to the notepad, smoothing your palm over the words etched into the cover ‘Restorative Reins.’
You had only been in Jackson for roughly over a month, though it felt like much longer. Much like everyone else who had survived the outbreak and came to find refuge in the small settlement after the world went to shit, you were grateful to accept any basic decencies of normal life that were afforded to you. Warm meals, warm showers, hell running water in general was a miracle in and of itself at that point. So when you actually arrived in Jackson, you were dumbfounded to see how much normalcy surrounded you. Children running and playing in the streets, storefronts of various thriving businesses, sheep being rounded up in a nearby corral - hold on, a fucking MOVIE THEATER?
While it took some time to grow out of the perpetual fight or flight mode that you were entrenched in from life on the road, you did eventually fall into a good pace in Jackson. Especially after getting involved in the community and taking up the job as the local therapist, you had never been busier, and you loved it.
The world felt unflinchingly obsolete post outbreak, but being able to support others with their mental health never failed to bring you joy and an unshakeable sense of purpose. You wanted to help others as they navigated their pain and broke down the mental blocks that entrapped them in their trauma. You wanted to help them realize the innate strength that they possessed. Sadly, you never got the chance to practice long term, as you finished up grad school just before the outbreak happened. But that didn’t seem to matter now as you had an endless stream of community members that you saw on a weekly basis at your practice, all with their own pain and struggles, seeking support.
It was crazy to think about the short period of time that had passed since you started at the job, how much you had done for the residents, how much more that you wanted to do. You were pulled from your memories when the office phone rang, internally groaning as you looked at your watch.
4:58 p.m. Of course.
Steeling yourself you picked up the phone, praying that it was a quick call.
“Restorative Reins Practice, how can I help you?” you answered.
“Oh! hi ma'am,” a warm, mellow Southern drawl greets you on the other end. “Are you the local therapist that has been helpin’ folks out around here with their mental health?”
"That's me,” you reply warmly, “what can I do for you?”
The man hesitates briefly, “Well, I was uh wanting to know a bit more about the business I guess, how the therapy process works, fees and stuff for someone who was interested in getting help. Not me though, it’s not for me, it’s for my brother, Joel. My name is Tommy by the way,” he mentions quickly.
“No problem Tommy, I can explain the basics to you including the different types of therapy I offer and how the process works,” you reassure him. You explain to him the different services, how the equine therapy worked, walk in hours, session lengths and so on.
“I should probably mention that my brother ain’t keen on getting help and reaching out to others when he needs it, he’s too damn proud to acknowledge it, so he really doesn’t think he has any issues and thinks everything is fine… but he’s having a real tough time settlin’ down here. He’s so haunted by his past and he’s been acting differently lately, more temperamental, well, more than usual,” Tommy adds. You smile to yourself and nod, as you’ve had many clients before who were stuck in similar struggles and closed off to therapy initially.
“I can definitely understand that,” you sympathize with him. “It sounds like your brother has been through a lot and you just want him to get some support, which is great. Therapy isn’t for everybody but I have worked with many individuals like him who were going through similar situations, and they found great success.”
“That’s great to hear. That’s all I want for him is to get some help,” Tommy states.
“Now with that being said,” you continue, “therapy is voluntary, I cannot force someone to attend, but if your brother would agree to a consultation with me, I could chat with him more about where he is at, the kind of support he could benefit from and go from there. No pressure to commit to anything,” you propose to him.
“Hmm, I think he could be persuaded to try that, now that you mention it like that,” Tommy chuckles, sounding pleasantly surprised.
“Awesome! You can tell him to stop by the office any time and we can discuss it more. We’re open from 9-5,” you tell him, silently relieved that it was an indeed quick call. He thanks you and hangs up.
Something else akin to curiosity creeps into your mind as you recount what Tommy briefly told you about his brother. Maybe more so intrigue. You wonder how resistant he is to therapy, what happened in his past to hurt him so deeply, but you catch yourself before your thoughts run away from you further, either way you look forward to helping another person in need.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Tommy, I swear to god if you bring up this damn therapy shit again, I won’t hesitate to shoot you next time we’re out on patrol,” Joel growled through clenched teeth, as he walked away from his brother into the kitchen of the house.
“Boy, it ain’t like I never heard that before,” Tommy quipped sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he followed Joel into the kitchen, pausing in the doorway as he leaned against the frame, hands shoved into his pockets. He observed his brother's rigid stance, the tightness in his shoulders, as Joel stood over the sink, looking out the window.
This felt like the umpteenth time that Tommy had broached the subject of Joel getting help and talking to a ‘shrink,’ as he dismissively described it, for the issues that he was struggling with. Joel was fine. He didn’t have any fucking issues. He was doing just fine and didn’t need some professional to scrutinize him, reduce him to his vices, and open old wounds from his past life. He was encouraged to go to grief counseling after Sarah died but by some grace of God, or whatever godforsaken omnipotent entity existed at that point, the outbreak occurred. Forget mental health, physical health and survival became the only focus.
Tommy exhaled softly. “Listen, I'm only suggestin’ it because I care about you. Ellie cares about you. You both have been through hell and back in the last year, I mean shit, we all have. But it seems like everything y’all went through is still affecting you, holding you back from letting your guard down and settling in here,” he states plainly, sadness lacing his tone.
“That’s bullshit Tommy and you know it,” Joel snaps, turning to face his younger brother and leaning back against the counter, arms crossed in defense. His gaze narrows. “I go out on patrol don’t I? Pick up extra shifts wherever it’s needed, help out with the contracting jobs, go out with Ellie in town.” Joel stood up taller, puffing out his chest, challenging his younger brother. Tommy shook his head, running his hand over his face with an exasperated expression. Heaven forbid Joel did anything for himself that did not involve contributing or providing for someone, period. He just couldn’t shake that from his identity, and it broke Tommy’s heart as he watched his brother’s stubborn pride, ridden with guilt and trauma, swallow him whole.
“Man when are you gonna fuckin’ do something for yourself Joel?!” Tommy asserted, his frustration reaching a boiling point. “Forget the damn commune, forget the community, forget Ellie for a sec and think about the last time YOU did something for yourself, the last time YOU reached out for help goddamnit.” He pushed off the doorframe and crossed the threshold of the kitchen as he strode towards Joel.
“You’re not on the run anymore brother. You don’t have to just survive. You can have a life here. You can sleep without keepin’ one eye open and relax without lookin’ over your shoulder. Don’t you want that? Don’t you think you deserve that?! Don’t you think you deserve this?!” Tommy said as he gestured around the cozy kitchen and fixed his older brother with a pleading stare.
Joel’s eyes widened as he tried to step back, the edge of the counter biting into his lower back as he took in Tommy’s weary face, the pain in his soft brown eyes, mirroring his own. His younger brother rarely raised his voice anymore. The outbreak took its toll on his hot headed temperament that never seemed to simmer down, even after he was discharged from the army. Joel knew that Tommy cared about him, hell he knew how deeply his brother loved him, after all they had respectively been through in the last twenty years, it had to be serious for him to raise his voice.
Joel opened his mouth, ready to bite back but his brother raised his hands in the air in surrender, “Look, this is the last time I will bring this up, I swear. But yesterday I called up the therapist in town who’s been helpin’ folks out, and asked her about the therapy process and she seems real nice, and supportive. She said you could come in for a consultation and talk to her and see if you’re interested,” Tommy said quietly.
Joel’s gaze narrows as he scrunches his eyebrows together in incredulity, “You-”
“I had nothing to lose Joel. Absolutely nothing. And neither do you,” Tommy cuts him off, raising his chin in defiance. “At least go talk to the therapist, if you don’t like her or you’re not feelin’ it, then I’ll drop it and let it go. Okay? The office is on the main street, just beside the clothing store, adjacent to the stables and they’re open everyday from 9-5.”
“Jesus fucking Christ Tommy,” Joel leaned back as he looked up at the ceiling, wishing it would collapse in on him. Gotta love that brotherly love.
“Look I should be getting back now, Maria will be waiting for me. Here’s the number and address for the business. I’ll see you around okay?” Tommy patted through his pockets and retrieved a small piece of paper with writing scribbled on it, placing it on the counter beside Joel. He gave him a last placating look before he walked out of the kitchen, the front door closing behind him with a soft click.
Joel pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled sharply before turning back around to look out the kitchen window. He hung his head in defeat, rounding his back as he rested his elbows on the counter and glared into his matte reflection in the sink. He didn’t need any help. He was doing fine. He’s still upright and breathing, with blood coursing through his veins isn’t he? Albeit, he's not jumping out of bed like a sprightly thirty year old anymore. His knees pop and crackle when he gets up from crouching over machinery for too long, his joints protest the next day when he pushes himself too far, moving slower than usual on job sites.
Hell, even his memory is starting to get cloudy around the edges. If it weren’t for Ellie some days, he’s sure he would leave the house without pants on, what with her always reminding him where things are in the house, special events that are coming up in the community that he forgets about. He had been a bit more snappy than usual, as Ellie so lovingly pointed out one day, but that’s nothing compared to his normal demeanour.
“You’re becoming a grumpy motherfucker y'know that? Jeez, who shit in your cornflakes this morning?” She grumbled at him with a mouth full of cereal, after he snapped at her reminder that it was parent day at the local school. Parent day, P.A. day, Joel hadn’t dealt with any of this shit in over twenty years since Sarah was in school. Even then he managed to swiftly neglect many of the parental events, seeing as Sarah was the perfect student, with nothing but glowing reviews from her teachers. The fact that Ellie was going to school amidst a fucking apocalypse was enough for Joel to be content.
But still, he’s doing fine, right? Just fine.
“Maybe talking to someone that’s not related to you would help you, y’know? Being able to talk about shit that you can’t talk to me, or Tommy, or anyone else about you know?” Ellie proposed to him later that night.
As luck would have it, she was already home when Joel and Tommy spoke in the kitchen and she had heard pretty much the entire conversation. And like Tommy, she only wanted Joel to get support because she cared about him.
“Think of all the shit that we went through in the past year, forget the infected, and the raiders, and FEDRA, and almost dying,” she casually listed off on one hand as if she was reciting a grocery list.
“There's so much shit that we’re both carrying with us, demons from our past, and it’s gotta come out one way or another. Look, therapists aren’t there to judge you, or analyze you,” she continued, “they’re kind of like a sounding board for you to bounce your thoughts off of, and they help you process shit you’re going through. You never know unless you try it,” she said matter of factly.
“Like Tommy said, you got nothing to lose man. Plus the whiskey and pills will only help you numb reality for so long, you’re gonna go insane eventually,” she said, fixing him with a knowing look as she leaned back into the couch beside him.
Joel just grunted in response and frowned. Damn this kid for being too insightful for her own good.
Ellie might be young but she most certainly wasn’t naive. And as much as Joel would have liked to assume that her easy transition into life in Jackson was on account of her youthfulness, it really wasn’t. It was just the fact that she had never known a normal life, as heartbreaking as that was. She never had the chance to experience such normalcy before everything turned on its head. But she developed friendships with a few of the other teens in the community, namely one girl Dina, who she hung out with after school, went to the movies and other community events with.
She didn’t have to actively try to fit into Jackson, she just did. Joel would never acknowledge the pangs of jealousy he felt gnawing at his insides when he saw her getting on so well, but it didn’t mean they chipped away at his morale any less.
Ellie smirked at his lack of response, knowing he was mulling it over in his mind. With the relationship they had developed over the past year, she was grateful to be able to talk to Joel and actually get through to him.
“Damn maybe I should be a fuckin’ therapist, that was good advice wasn’t it?” she grinned at him, elbowing him in his side.
Joel snorted and shook his head. “Christ, I must be losing my mind for real this time if you’ve got me considering it.”
“Now c’mon,” she wiggled her eyebrows at him, “you owe me at least a few games of Boggle for that pep talk,” she said triumphantly, holding up the weathered board game that was on the coffee table.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x therapist! reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#joel miller#the last of us#tlou#the last of us hbo#equine assisted therapy#equine therapy
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11 days since I sent you that ask and I can now say, I get it. I get what you meant about episode 8. WE DID NOT JUST GET LUKERCY CRUMBS HOLY SHIT-
ALL OF THEIR SCENES TOGETHER WERE MAKING ME FERAL FJGKD WHICH WAS SO HARD TO KEEP IN WHILE WATCHING IT WITH MY SIS 😭😭 IT WAS SO GOOD
the training!! the entire fucking fight with luke practically begging percy to believe that he is his friend and wants him to join him!! the lighting!! just everything!!! you can soo tell luke wanted to shove percy in that portal and take him along no matter what!! (ignoring annabeths appearance cause im still on the fence with that change even if I get why they did it)
i am so going to binge read lukercy fics the entire night just to fill my rabid need for content of them after seeing that AHFJVKDKD I CANT-
You're right we didn't just get crumbs, we got a whole damn pie.
Luke not only welcoming Percy to camp but being the one to show him around, constantly by his side. Even watching him sleep from across the cabin.
The look on Percy's face when Luke tells him he's always on Annabeth's side.
Luke breaking the camp rules that two demigods (with different parents) aren't allowed to be alone in the cabins together to give Percy the shoes in his cabin (as opposed to on the hill like in the book).
Percy wanting to take Luke on the quest but being afraid that Luke would prioritize Annabeth over him.
The jealousy and disgust in Luke's voice during the Iris message when he makes the comment about "when did you two become an old married couple" and the look of equal disgust and discomfort from Percy when he says "gross let's move on from that." (paraphrasing but you get the idea)
Luke influencing Percy so much that the very first words of Percy's book ("Look, I didn't want to be a halfblood") are actually a quote from Luke.
The whole training scene.
Sword under the chin is always hot. Percy's making a face like he knows it too.
When Luke goes to sit on that rock beside Percy, he chooses a spot that lets them sit eye-to-eye but also he rocks toward Percy for a second like he's going to go in for a kiss.
Percy mirroring the head tilt that Luke (Charlie?) does.
Luke's voice full of pride when Percy does good.
Luke telling Percy he's small and scary. So fucking cute.
The way we can see via body language what book!Percy has been telling us all along: that every time Percy picks up his sword, he hears Luke's voice in his head telling him what to do.
Percy and Luke almost never take their eyes off each other for the whole secret meeting about Clarisse.
They're meeting in the woods at night. Luke didn't even have to bribe Percy this time, he just trotted after him.
Luke coaxing Percy into talking. (in the books Percy doesn't do a lot of talking out loud and Luke actually does break the ice several times because Percy is just standing there staring like a little weirdo [affectionate].).
Fireworks from beginning to end. Love the red and blue ones especially for that bisexual lighting. It was easily the best lighting in the whole show.
"Easy. I just want to show you." Everyone says that the maia scene was the hottest thing Charlie said as Luke but they're sleeping on this. Those are 'gonna take your virginity' words and his tone of voice? Mmm. Yum.
AND it's about his sword? HIS SWORD?! The most phallic weapon of all? Gods help me.
Just an interesting detail but Luke doesn't actually ever point his sword at Percy until Percy attacks him. It really shows that his plan is to convince Percy to leave with him.
"The gods are my enemy. You....." - Luke searching for what Percy is to him. lol I guess it's supposed to be a dramatic pause for dramatic effect but it really just makes it sound like Luke is debating how exactly to define their relationship.
Both of them have watery tear-filled eyes? Excuse me? Cry babies? Yes please. I told all of you so.
Also Luke is comfortable with turning his back on Percy to draw the runes (?) even though Percy drew his sword and is sweating like a sinner in church.
Luke actually proposing that they run away. Together. Just the two of them.
"We"
Percy is literally swaying on his feet. You can see that he's nervous but he also doesn't take so much as a single step backward. He still wants to be close to Luke!
Luke's determination to bring Percy with him. During their fight he does his best to keep Percy between himself and the portal. He even tosses Percy towards it a couple of times. Luke wants Percy to run away with him voluntarily but you can see as the fight goes on longer, he decides kidnapping is an option.
Luke is not leaving without his boy.
The skill difference between Percy and Luke. We see this during training too, where Luke is tossing Percy around and basically playing with him (I mean it's serious training but Luke's skill level is so above that it looks like playing). Luke is not seriously fighting Percy. He's trying to herd Percy into that portal.
Luke praising Percy in the middle of their fight.
Percy cutting Luke.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -" Because Percy really doesn't want to hurt Luke and he's never like actually hurt someone he cares about.
Luke cutting Percy.
Looming.
The way after Annabeth shows up, Luke's eyes flit down to Percy three separate times. You can visibly see him weighing his options. I think he was debating if he could sling Percy over his shoulder and run into the portal faster than Annabeth could catch them.
"I know Luke wasn't trying to kill me." - WOW what a change from the book. I can't believe they had Percy understand that because in the pit scorpion scene, he did not get it. I'm happy about the change but surprised they made it. (makes me wonder if Percy's the one who's loyalty we're supposed to question instead of Annabeth's as the next seasons come up).
Sorry that was long but like. Wow. We won hardcore.
As for reading more lukercy fic, you'll be pleased to know that it's the lukercy valentine's event this week (02/12-02-15) so there should be ✨ new fics. ✨
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Behold… a project that began back in October 5th 2022…
C3 Swap AU
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I am nothing if not predictable
What is the swap AU?
The swap AU was created due to my love of that genre (If you followed me in my Persona phase, you know what I mean)
It was a way for me to practice my craft as time goes on and to this day, I’m still learning. It’s also an excuse for me to draw pretty outfits
It was also inspired by Eren Angiolini’s CR swapped classes (mainly VM and MN back then) before their own rendition of Bell’s Hells, done in 2023
The difference between my version and Eren’s is that instead of swapping DnD classes (Fighter -> Paladin) , we changed their subclasses (Fighter : Battle master -> Fighter : Eldritch knight). Some of these were taken from completely made up thanks to a homebrew list of subclasses
The entire creation of this AU is a group effort from various members of the Dorym Nation discord server. We did not plan for it to work as well as it did as episode rolled by. We did it mostly on vibes and somehow made everyone’s backstory sadder (oops)
Why making this post now?
With campaign 3 coming close to an end, I felt like it was finally time for me to face my fears and show the people what 2 years of creation do to someone, without any remorse for showing enjoyment in a piece of media.
I also struggle with showcasing my work in the last couple of years to a wider audience, especially with the rise in A/I art and N/F/T that just destroyed me mentally. This is why you don’t see much art posting from me
Also every time I thought I had a breather with art, shit just kept happening in the canon game and it really just spiralled to what we have today… Mind you this was created around episode e20 so we didn’t know everything about the characters back then… We were so close but had to change some stuff and add something else… I love the creative process <3
What did you mean by “you made everyone’s backstory sadder?”
When you go into a project made on vibes, you kiiiiind of mix-match a couple of ideas together. With the Swap AU, not only did we swap their subclasses, but we also swapped elements of their backstories with another member of their group. You will see it with everyone’s post.
Wait so you’re not sharing the art yet? Why not?
My goal with this post is to give you guys a small introduction to the AU. I know this will be at the very least 10 post in total minus this one since I’m hoping to give each Hellions their very own Tumblr posts
I am also a perfectionist and I want to give the best quality possible when posting the artworks. I am in the making of creating front facing reference sheets of each member of BH with max 6 different clothes ( EXU or start of the campaign, ball, outfit 2, current one, and for those with specific body transformations get that illustrated also)
There is already existing art of the AU that was created by @czpeterp that you can see here! (Their art is amazing, go check them out!!)
I have Fearne and Chetney’s that are complete, and Imogen is the next one in line. Expect for a post about them coming really soon (hopefully tomorrow)
That’s all for now! Sorry for all the rambling lmao, I do hope I piqued your curiosity and I’ll see you (hopefully) tomorrow morning for our first Swapped character: Fearne Calloway!
#c3 swap au#my au#bells hells#cr campaign 3#fearne calloway#chetney pock o'pea#imogen temult#laudna#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#ashton greymoore#fcg#braius doomseed#Bells hells swap AU
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I'm a good artist. I know that.
For some reason, though, I've never been able to capture weight, or gravity, or that bone-deep oomph heaviness you get when your body hits the ground, a fraction of a second before your skull bounces back up off the pavement. No matter how I practice, I can't seem to grasp it in my mind.
I can handle motion. Inertia, movement, swinging wild through still air. Just not... depth. Interaction between the self and the outside. As a result, I find that a lot of my work ends up with this uncertain sort of weightless quality. Solid, but free-floating, no context to the action. A gamble with worthless stakes. A boxer leaping out of cotton to swing punches at clouds.
I've never been very athletic, either. I have no hand-eye coordination, and even though I'm strong and have a good grasp of the theory, my body stutters and slurs where it shouldn't, the way I remember holding a pencil was like when I was small and drawing circles.
I know that I axphyxiated when I was a baby. I know that I had a facial palsy that faded as I grew, went from an unresponsive mask on one side to a rare spasm that's embarrassing but harmless.
Recently, though, I found out that I was tested for brain damage, and absolutely failed the test for gross motor skills.
Now, it makes me wonder at the difference between reasons and excuses.
I try to be active, but I can't follow dance steps and my legs give out under me and I can't fight my way out of a wet paper bag despite four years of training.
Can my poor physical performance be attributed to a single bad result found over twenty years ago, or am I just not trying hard enough? Should I cut myself some slack, or is going easy on myself a result of seeking at excuses for failure?
Do I want to grow, really, or do I just want something to blame so I can be complacent in my smallness? Something to blame my failures on while I half-ass it? What if there's nothing there to blame, and I'm trying not to try, because trying is messy and embarrassing and difficult?
The tests I did also showed abnormally advanced fine motor skills. As in, I could draw my parent's faces before I could walk, and was illustrating stories before I could skip or balance on one leg.
Am I allowed to be proud of my art if my easy grasp of the mechanics was predetermined? If I can't be held accountable for weaknesses beyond my control, can I really claim ownership of skill which came to me the same way?
Am I a puppet through and through, a victim of the universe in every way, or is my every action and limitation a reflection of my psyche? A representation of who I am?
Does the dog chase the cat because that is what dogs do, or does the dog chase the cat because it wants to?
Is to be a dog to have the innate inclination to do things which dogs do?
Is a dog a thing with four legs which chases the cat, or is the thing with four legs which chases the cat a dog?
Am I what I am because it is what I was made, or am I myself because I do the things which someone who is me would do?
And what is the difference?
I'm going to keep dancing badly. I'm going to keep painting astronauts. I'm going to figure it out
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DAY 11 - Claws/Snacks
INK/PH-TOBER 2024
I actually did kinda good on this one!
I almost forgot to post this hahaha.
Finished it up real quick but there's nothing much to say about my thought process this time besides me thinking of a different way to draw this.
I tried emphasizing the claw here with a shine but my original idea was to have BH stealing the snacks with his hands from behind or somewhere that his body is less visible and his hands are more of the focus. I wanted to make them both a tad happy for once and a bit of a different change so here that is. :>
Edit: Also just now realized I didn't color this one but honestly it feels better that way. Imagine the colors in lmao.
Claws, as I have displayed, are not my forte so I tried the best I could. Thanks!
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to avoid going to bed again and attempting to grind splatoon ranked instead. Byeee!
Bonus:
Man boobs from yesterday as I was practicing.
#iza#gal3xystar#masoqueen#art#drawing#tradtional art#doodles#inktober#octubredepaperhat#villainous#villanos#black hat#dr flug#paperhat#artists on tumblr
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i wrote a few fics on ao3 heres one of them lol
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Man Made Problems
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Sanji was a mess.
He knew it. The crew knew it. Hell, even the fish he was cutting up for lunch looked like it was staring at him with pity.
When the Sanji Retrieval Team left Whole Cake Island, Luffy was too busy laughing. The excitement of fighting Kaido and the leftover adrenalin from saving Sanji were both strong, so he was spared the pity party
When they arrived at Wano, the perfect excuse was practically handed to him on a silver platter. All it took was one ‘We really shouldn't interact, we don't want to draw attention to ourselves’ and the conversation was over.
But that's over now. Wano is over. They did their jobs and now they're on the Sunny heading to the next island and Sanji has no way to avoid this eventual talk.
He knew Nami gave everyone a brief run down. He also knew Zoro was pissed at what he did to Luffy, no matter what the reason was. He deserved it though. He's just as mad at himself.
Now that Judge has revealed to the world Sanji's lineage, that's all he’ll ever be. His bounty is seen differently, civilians see him differently, his crew sees him differently. Honestly he couldn't decide which was worse. The fact that everyone on the crew wants him to talk about it, or the fact that they’re all walking on eggshells around him. It made him nervous.
He’s accidentally cut his fingers more times in the last 48 hours than he has since he was 8. This isn't who he is! He’s Blackleg Sanji, former sous chef at the Baratie, chef of the Strawhat pirates, and the man who's going to find the All Blue damn it! He was the son and apprentice of Red Foot Zeff and he wouldn't be told by anyone, no matter what his bounty says.
But he’s been messing up a lot recently.
When Chopper checked on him after his fight, he couldn't hide the look on his face. He started quickly writing notes and asked him to bring another patient in. Later Chopper apologizes and says he was worried about how Sanji was taking these changes, but Sanji wouldn't be surprised if he’s just afraid of him now.
The other day he was talking to Nami when she playfully punched him, and ended up spraining her wrist on his hardened skin. He couldn't look her in the eyes after that. He’s been avoiding her since.
Another time Usopp had given an ashtray he had made, but this time when he took it his grip was too strong and he broke it. The sniper often gave him things he’s made, and every time he takes it carefully and puts it in his room, cherishing every last one of them, knowing he broke them made him tear up.
Not to mention he’s been so lost in thought he can barely do his job! He’s spilled drinks, forgot to cook meals, and even burnt some of Luffy’s meat. Can you believe it? Him! He burnt food!
Sanji was suddenly cut off from his thoughts when Zoro came into the kitchen.
“I haven't forgiven you y’know”
Sanji stiffens at these words.
“I don't want you to. I don't deserve it”
The swordsman was observing him, as if trying to think of what to say
“Luffy forgives you for Whole Cake Island, since you did it to try and protect him. But it’ll take more from me to prove you're really sorry, because right now? I’m not seeing shit”
“I regret hurting Luffy then more than anything in the world, but if you can’t see how fucking sorry I am than thats your fault”
Zoro was thinking, which scared Sanji more than any of his siblings could.
“I’m not talking about what you did then. No matter how mutated your body becomes I highly doubt any of it will be enough to hurt Luffy. He’s too strong. And apparently a God now.”
“Then what the hell are you upset for?!” Sanji said taking his cigarette out of his mouth
“For not realizing how what your doing is affecting him!”
“...What the hell are you talking about?”
Zoro sighed, placing his swords next to him and sitting down. “I know Luffy only talked to me about Marineford, but it doesn't take a genius to understand what he's thinking. Everyone else in the crew knows”
“..Huh?”
“....Ever since Ace died, Luffy has been more on edge. I know you noticed it on our way to Fishman Island. He blames himself for Ace’s death, and since then he’s started to blame himself more and more.”
Sanji turned around, looking at the food he’s cooking and totally not hiding his tears
“Right now, Luffys not thinking ‘Sanji is distancing himself because he feels guilty’ he's thinking ‘Sanji is distancing himself because he knows I failed him.’ Luffy’s become more insecure. He blames himself for almost anything. He says he’s over Ace’s death but he’s not. He’s been holding all of these emotions in and you avoiding him after his help is making him more stressed. He’s been less talkative, kept to himself more, and has been visibly more paranoid. Even if Luffy forgives you, I won't until you clear this up with him. It's gonna take more than your half assed apology to fix Luffys trauma, but it wont get any better like this.”
“...Jesus when Luffys involved you almost sound smart” Sanji jokes, trying to ease the tension, “I’ll talk to him. Tomorrow though. Just… just give me some time”
“Just cook him somethin’ extra till then” Zoro snorts
Just then Luffy barges into the room
“Zoro! I found you! I win hide and seek! Oh hi Sanji!”
“I told you I wasn't playing!"
“Hey there Captain, I have your snack ready.” Sanji said, placing an obscene amount of hamburgers in front of the younger boy
“Wow thanks Sanji!”
They sat in silence for a while, with Sanji cleaning up the kitchen to the sounds of Luffy enjoying his food. It left him on the edge. Luffy was only quiet when he was absorbed into whatever he's eating or when he gets serious, and at this rate it could be either.
“Hey Zoro? I actually want to talk to Sanji about something. Do you mind leaving us be for a bit?”
Fuck.
Zoro smiled at his captain and left the kitchen
“What's up Captain?” Sanji uttered, trying to play it cool and focus on making dinner like he wasn't shaking. He didn’t have his day of mental preparations!
“You’ve been acting strange recently.”
“Hmm? I don't know what your talking about Luffy I’m fi-”
“Please don't lie to me..” Luffy said barely above a whisper, “I wanted to give you space to figure it out on your own but you haven't... a-and if you go another day Usopp will lose all his nails from stress nail biting!!”
“I didn't mean to worry you, I’m fine really, just coming down from fighting Queen, we can talk tomorrow”
“You're still upset about Whole Cake Island aren't you?”
Double fuck.
Sanji tensed. He thought he was a bit more subtle.
“I-I’m sorry I inconvenienced you Captain. You left me incharge of half our crew and sent us to Zou and I couldn't even do that.” Sanji sank to the floor, putting his hands in his lap. He seemed small and quiet, something Luffy would never associate with him.
“You didn't inconvenience me! You did what I would do. You sacrificed yourself to save your crew. I wish you would've told me before that though, I would’ve kicked his ass from the start!!!”
Sanji chuckled at his antics as he put his cigarette out, deciding to come clean and take Zoros advice (don't tell him that though)
“Im worried about Zeff,” he starts, “I hope he isn't mad at me or worried for me or whatever”
Luffy sat next to him, “What else?”
Luffys the dumbest man he knows, but damn he can read emotions well
“My body changed in Wano. I wore the suit twice and now I’m just like them,” he sighed “I don't want to lose my emotions''
“But you're nothing like them!”
“But I’m changing. I can feel it and I don't know when it’ll stop”
“Do you want Chopper to look?”
“Nah, he’s got enough on his plate right now.”
Luffy hummed and played with his fingers, waiting for Sanji to continue.
“Hey Luffy?”
“What's up!”
“I know you’ll be the King of the Pirates and I want to be there when you achieve your goal.”
“Aw thanks Sanji!”
“But I don't know if you need me to be a monster or a chef right now”
Luffy blinked and faced forward, away from Sanji
“I don't need you to be a monster”
“I know Captain”
“I don't need you to be a chef either.”
“...I figured”
“I just need you to be my friend” Luffy spoke
Sanji paused and looked at him
“What do you mean..?”
“I told you at Whole Cake Island. I can't be King of the Pirates without my crew. Without you.” Luffy stared at him, putting his big brown eyes in front of his blue ones “You’re my friend Sanji. You are here because I want you to be. Your food is just an added bonus!”
Sanji felt a weight being lifted off of his chest yet he couldn't speak. With his eyes widened and his mouth slightly open all he could do was stare, until Luffy started lightly hitting his eyes
“H-hey what gives?!”
“You started to cry and I needed to wipe it away!”
“Most normal people would’ve just used their fingers y’know!”
“Why would I poke your eyes?!”
Sanji wiped his eyes, and lit another cigarette
“Tch, shitty captain. We were having a sweet moment and you ruined it!”
Luffy giggled “Sanji thought I didn't want him on my crew anymore didn't he”
“Yeah..”
“Shishishi! Sanjis stupid. Like Zoro”
“Don't lump me with that oaf!”
He’ll be okay. He knows he will. Because he has his crew to pick him up when he falls
#one piece#monkey d luffy#one piece strawhats#straw hat luffy#straw hat crew#monkey d. luffy#luffy#straw hat pirates#roronoa zoro#pirate hunter zoro#one piece fanfic#black leg sanji#blackleg sanji#one piece sanji#op sanji#sanji#sanji one piece#sanji vinsmoke#whole cake arc#whole cake island#wano spoilers#wano country#wano kuni#wano arc#wano#wano country arc#one piece wano
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"Would you mind being a nude model for me?"
Completely Safe for work! No smut or other shenanigans here!
Prompt: MC asks them to model nude. The royal/brother/Solomon get embarrassed and doesn't know what to make of it but MC is actually just a very tired artist that needs anatomy practice.
GN MC (They/them) 3rd ppov as always
Word count: 990
Levi
"Of course you have abs, why wouldn't you?"
"I don't think I've ever met anyone that hates abs," Levi chuckles, but he's trying very hard to not run off and find a hole to die in. He's fully nude, being glared at, and his Henry just scoffed at the only feature of his that he's confident it. “You do know that ‘Grand Admiral’ isn’t just a title, right?”
"No, I- it's not- HMMM," MC hums angrily to themself, tapping their pencil to their head. "It's fine that you have abs Levi. You are attractive. I just wanted to practice drawing different body types, you know? If I wanted to draw more abs I would have gone to the museum and stared at some sculptures."
"And you just assumed I was chubby?" Levi’s snark died out as MC began to circle him slowly. Why had he chosen such an open stance? Why couldn’t the vortex be merciful and swallow him whole? The broom stick in his raised fist was a pathetic excuse for wielding a sword, and he even with the sheet loosely draped around his waist Levi was acutely aware of how close he was to flashing MC.
"Cut me some slack, I’ve never seen you lift anything heavier than an akuzon box of manga.” MC doesn’t notice Levi fall silent, but they see his shoulders tense up. They ignore it, more focused on looking for a good position to sketch from before deciding to sit to the far left- back muscle practice it is. “Anyways, you’re much better company than some stone statue.”
A bonus of live figure drawing is the conversation, although it was a balancing act with Levi. Something interesting enough to keep him from running off or fidgeting too much, but it also couldn't be something he was passionate about because he'd lose his concentration and break the pose. So they spent the better half of the next two hours doing a spontaneous media analysis and ranking list of the movies they've seen in the last couple of years.
Levi carries the conversation when MC falls silent, squinting and tilting their head this way and trying to figure out how to work out the shading onto their paper. He kept peeking over his shoulder to look at them work; serious and so deeply focused that they didn't notice Levi staring at them. He's never seen them put this amount of concentration on something that wasn't a life or death situation. Levi couldn't help how his heart skipped a beat to think they were focusing so hard on him.
"Okay, I'm done, want to see?" MC doesn't wait for Levi to respond, turning their sketchbook around for him. He tries to look away- he would rather not see all of the imperfections MC found on him after staring for so long- but MC is insistent, handing the sketchbook over to him.
"Woah," Levi gasped quietly, fingers running over the drawing. The expression from the side of his face was serious, that of someone wise and calm. His jaw was strong, and his shoulders were broader than he realized. The shoulder blades had such a strong shadow that he started to wonder if he had been unconsciously flexing this entire time. "You even managed to make someone like me look cool."
"I get what you mean, so thank you. But also, not really." MC turns away from him to start packing up their pencils and other sketchbooks. "When you see yourself in the mirror everyday it can be hard to be subjective. That's one of the neat little perks of being an artist- you can show others a new perspective. You're a cool dude Levi, so of course drawings of you are going to come out cool too." There's a small choking sound so MC looks to Levi again. He's holding the notebook to his chest with tears in his eyes.
"MC," Levi starts to run towards them, arms open for a hug.
"NOT UNTIL YOU PUT SOME PANTS ON," MC screams, diving across the tub to get some distance between themself and Levi. He runs to go throw on a shirt and sweats before coming back and hugging MC as tightly as he could. Levi wants to take a hundred pictures of the art but is only stopped by the thought that it might come off as something vain- something that Asmo would do. MC seems particularly slow in packing up their coloring supplies although they were left unused, so when their back was turned he snuck a few pictures to keep for himself.
Other tidbits:
-He resisted the urge to flip through the sketchbook, being handed the book was a sign of trust, not permission. He can remember all too well the times that Mammon had gone rummaging through his things and was caught red handed skimming through Levi's own sketchbooks.
-Levi would soon work up the courage to ask MC to draw together, and set up for a full day of drawing. They'd sit at opposite ends of his room in beanbag chairs, MC working by the light of the fish tank as they draw the underwater landscape while Levi sat closer to his computer, lofi music filling the quiet for a relaxing ambiance. He takes the time to repay the favor, drawing MC as they worked. His eyes on lingered on them, trying to memorize their face as he drew. Every so often MC would catch him staring and smile, lifting up their own sketchbook to show their progress. Levi's heart ran a little faster with that smile and he did the same- MC pretended not to notice that Levi only showed them the left page when he was clearly working on the right.
-Levi chickened out of showing them that day, but MC would find the picture tucked between dvd cases and a snack plate that had been left in front of their door the next time they were feeling down.
((Lucifer))
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Sure! @hannahofathousanddays
Okay so more detailed Terrifier thoughts:
It is really just a disjointed gore fest. There’s practically no plot, it’s simply the slasher going from place to place killing people. And the writing and acting for everyone (but Art) feels really amateur and ridiculous.
Apparently the character of Art the Clown originated from several unconnected short films the writer-director had made before. And it just shows that he didn’t have much experience with a long form narrative. Short films can coast on a single edgy kill or a fun character design, but movies need any sort of story at all lmao and like. pacing. Terrifier didn’t have either.
The practical effects are admittedly really good though! And the entire movie feels more like an excuse to show off the various gore SFX and makeup. Basically the only person I’d… not exactly recommend this movie to… but suggest that it may be worth watching at all, would be someone who has an existing interest in horror movie effects.
It also lives up to its reputation for being pretty damn mean spirited. There are a lot of female characters to be killed or maimed in this, and the kills always feel sexualized and voyeuristic in way that the male character kills just aren’t.
Meanwhile idk I personally felt zero sense of tension. I think the editing is honestly really bad. There was a sequence where they kept cutting between a completely dull scene and Art killing someone horribly and it just felt so inert and pointless! Or a bit where a character discovers the body of another character and it’s shot like a reveal that ramps up the stakes… but we already saw the entire kill and all the gore shots in drawn out loving detail earlier so… what is the point lmao. It’s just pretty incompetently handled!
Basically any scene that’s not a kill feels like filler. There’s a ton of getting characters from place to place for seemingly no reason than to draw out the run time. And a lot of the choices the characters make, or random obstacles they face feel like they’re just there because the director needed more things to happen. I honestly kept wanting to fast forward through all these bits— and having now finished the movie, I can safely say that I wouldn’t have missed anything if I had.
Anyway, all that being said. Art’s character design goes really hard and David Howard Thornton is a phenomenal physical actor. His performance is on an entirely different level from literally everything else in the goddamn movie. And he is frankly the only reason I’m at all interested in the sequels, having been promised that they at least have anything approaching a story at all.
But yeah the film is otherwise just unpleasant and fairly boring! It probably would’ve faired better as a thirty minute short.
#i ramble sometimes#also shout out to the silence of the lambs-esque transphobia randomly thrown in there towards the end!#I feel like they should know better in 2016!#horror movies#terrifier (2016)
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Congratulation manhwa. You managed to turn hell arc, one of the most emotional parts of the novel, into some half-half shitty ass comedy show. I'm so disappointed I swear. My quick review of current arc, beware of strong language
Chap 112: overuse of Lloyd's face as normal. Javier has better interaction with a demon than with his master???
Chap 113: using the information in the hell Internet with only 40% true to bet for your life is stupid Lloyd. Why don't they just stick to the original where Lloyd knew Helkaro's personality through the Knight of Blood and Iron novel??? Wouldn't that make so much more sense??? All Helkaro's inner thoughts were removed. Javier casually asked Lloyd about his real identity. Urgh Lloyd's faces again 🤢
Chap 114: I don't think in the novel Lloyd acting like that or it's just manhwa adaption. But the fact they draw Lloyd tried to kill a satan crossing the lava river is disgusting. Also Lloyd's face 😮💨
Chap 115: the reaper adaptation is fucking stupid if you are asking me. Why didn't the reaper get that dark wizard dude soul from before? So if you practice dark magic you won't be dragged to hell at all? And you can stay on the living realm killing more people??? And the reaper talk with ogLloyd. Please shut up. Pretending to be a meaningful life lesson but it just didn't work. If Suho has system power back in Korea would he still be hardworking? Or will he also get corrupted by it too? That hypothetical question is so stupid. They are trying to make original Lloyd to be less hate-able. Since when did him care about the estate at all? Why do you need to reduce his crime?
Chap 116: this is when I feel they massacre Lloyd's character trait the most. They already did it for a long time but I will focus on this chap. How he treat to ogLloyd is completely different to the novel. Novel Lloyd knew he stole OgLloyd body so he tried to find a way to compensate him back, but manhwa Lloyd just told him to get lost cuz he didn't gain anything from doing that? Suho would never say something like that. Deep inside he is a kind hearted so he always felt guilty and wanted to help ogLloyd if he could. But look at him now? He only helped OgLloyd cuz he think he is a nuisance. Next we have the rail building situation. Lloyd was clearly in the wrong side but he acting like a real scum. He didn't even say sorry and just told the lava monster to accept it? And told Javier to kill it? For real? I can understand in the novel it was self defence since the lava monster didn't accept Lloyd's apologies but I can't make any excuse for his wrong doing in the manhwa. Are they trying to make him look like a jerk as much as possible in front of the satan eyes? Even Javier knew what Lloyd doing was wrong. Lloyd even shoved the satan to the ground while he is running away. Where is his "safety first" rule now? I know they are in hell but he didn't care about life of other at all. Novel Lloyd even built a grave for the unlucky satans died in the lava monster attack in secret but I guess doing that is too ooc with the current manhwa version of him.
Chap 117: Really? They draw Javier having fun by putting Lloyd in danger? Is this really the same Javier who swear he will protect Lloyd with his own life? And let Javier question that? This is just absurd and not funny at all. They are too focusing on drawing "comedy panel" to the point of making a person who already read the novel like me get sick of it. What irritating me is the fact that the adaption team knew they are ruining the novel source just so they can make Lloyd a money-making machine for them. Manhwa good art can't save it completely from a badly written plot lack of character development and interaction.
Chap 118: The summon acting like Lloyd. Also it seems like they forgot Bibelhyung original size is a giant beaver so they just draw the chibi version of him. Lloyd and OgLloyd talk... I wanna to strangle LHM so bad. This is not my Lloyd at all! HE DID NOT TREATING OGLLOYD LIKE THAT IN THE NOVEL. Now helping ogLloyd is just he doing free charity, oh how noble of him is that? Here come Helkaro and thing about system. I can see the adaption team try to make thing more interesting by bullshiting all the stuff about higher-being and upper side but I think it won't come to anywhere. The system is helping Lloyd too much, acting just like a convenient plot armor. This bring me back to the Destiny Point system, another stupid adaption in my opinion. It's an attempt of them to spoiler about the Prince Making Drug sequel, which in turn end up a total plot destroyer. It is literally a free version of Ending Spoiler now since it could notice Lloyd something bad happen in the future. The way it works is also questionable. How long can the butterfly effect last? The way it calculate the number of people life like mere data? Isn't it behaving like a chain sackle Lloyd at a predestined future now? It appeared after Alicia got that eyes but it didn't take that into calculation?
Phew. I will wait for chap 119 to get translated first then continue to vent, unless Tumble shadowban me like last time lol
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“Harbinger” AU
A ROTTMNT AU work in progress. I really wanted to introduce this AU with some cover art but that’s not happening anytime soon, and this is sort of just meant to be something I play around with at no regular intervals, even the title might be subject to change, it’s pretty much on the back burner compared to my other stuff especially since I mostly want to do illustrations for this rather than a fic. With that let’s begin this mess:
Out of context quote: “Is this my destiny? To always be the one who destroys the world, no matter how hard I try to be the hero?”- there’s a decent chance this will never actually be said in the AU proper, but this sort of encapsulates the basic driving idea behind this AU.
AU Summary: When Casey is sent through the Time Gate, rather than ending up in Times Square he actually does end up in the right time and place to stop the Foot Clan from getting the Key. The only problem is that with his interference in the chase, they end up driving away with Leo instead.
Out of context quote: “Well if we don’t have the Key, why don’t we simply pick the lock?” - Foot Lieutenant. The Foot Lieutenant realizes that they may have lucked out in getting Leo. He surmises that getting the Key back from the other turtles will be too difficult, so instead the Foot Clan plans to use Leo’s portal powers as a sort of “lock pick” into the Prison Dimension. Following some ancient dark magic, they paint a bunch of mystic runes on Leo to force his powers to open a gateway to the Prison Dimension.
The turtles (+April+Casey+Splinter) rush to Leo’s rescue but by the time they arrive the ceremony has already begun. As the portal opens they witness what appears to be Leo’s body disintegrating as the Foot Clan force activated his powers, forcing his body to become to portal itself. Fueled by grief and rage the Mad Dogz rush in to begin fighting the Foot Clan and the Kraang. They still find themselves quickly overwhelmed, so Raph orders Donnie and Mikey to retrieve Leo’s katana’s, which have not disintegrated and seem to be what’s maintaining to portal.
(Quick warning, some body horror up ahead, this is where the AU gets kinda dark) Leo’s katanas are firmly planted in a set of stone plinths, keeping the portal open. Donnie and Mikey rush up the dais to remove the swords from their plinths, only to find Leo’s seemingly disembodied arms also still firmly holding onto his swords. Swallowing down how much that freaks them out, Donnie and Mikey pull the swords from their plinths and close the gate…. And Leo suddenly reappears, but he’s….. different….. he’s floating and…… glowy and….. are his limbs detached but still floating where they ought to be?? Is this even Leo???
There’s no time to process this as as soon as Leo’s(?) body reconstitutes itself he takes stock of the situation and somehow teleports everyone back to the lair, from there things only get more chaotic.
Aaaaand that’s all I have properly written down for this. I absolutely have more ideas and plan to come back/develop this further but like I said, it’s mostly on the back burner and just something to toy around with for fun between my main projects and the general struggles of being a student. I will definitely get around to illustrating what Harbinger!Leo looks like at some point because the way I want him to look is honestly kinda hard to describe in words which is why I mostly want to do this AU through drawings (even though I’m only okay at art but this gives me a good excuse to practice) so yeah, thanks for coming to my TEDtalk about yet another goddamn Leo AU
#harbinger au#harbinger!leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rottmnt#rottmnt the movie#rottmnt movie au#rottmnt casey junior#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rise april#rise au#my wips#rise krang#katnip talks
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A Hualian short story (writing practice)
His Cheng takes his time to think about his dear dianxia, before before meeting again (before book 1)
(it's from Hua Cheng pov + I added a drawing of my own at the end of the fic(?))
My beloved crown prince...
I see my own face everyday, but what about yours?
Thin, pale, tired and dead, with thick long strays of black hair, just one eye left, dressed all in red, he faces me again, everyday the same as always, how I long to see your precious face...
I greet you, your Highness, it's been a while, quite a while... I just feel like it's been so much time without thinking of you...
This isn't as dramatic as i put it, I just I tend to pour my heart out very easily...
When it comes to you.
Everything is my decision after all. Right?
I wish with all my being to have known you more, as I always do. My heart is still hoping the moment our paths will cross again.
But until then...
I had a glimpse of you today
I find it quite interesting, that you look different, I mean.
But to think about it, it's obvious you can't stay as you were last time I saw you,
Your Highness...
And to think... how obsessive I must sound...
How human must I sound too, how sincere I'm being.
As I write this, I go, look back and picture you.
You, the one engraved deep in my memory
I think about you... you thinking of me could that be possible?
As I see your face I wonder what you do, and if you're happy.
If you're still in the dark, about the purpose of this... About anything...
Let me enlighten you,
Dianxia I care about you, deeply, so deeply that my already dead heart beats.
Once you did too, I trust it was like that, back in the day...
Do you remember?... What you said?...
It made my heart shine, And I wanted to believe with all my might
That day, I felt my mesmerized soul tearing the tight walls of my being apart, Just to find you.
Oh, to have a light soul! If I wanted it so bad I would've tried... right? But I'm frightened.
Since you are just some words away from me.
Yet I can't find strength to write a single one of those words
"You're so special to me"
Youthful, but full of feeling, I would have written in an old folded sheet and left it next to your statue in that abandoned temple of yours.
My happiness lies there, where you are...
If this one wasn't so objectively bad with ink and paper, this one would have also written Dianxia since those days.
But it is fine, because words are not, and won't ever be, enough to praise Dianxia's existence...
If one is creative enough, one can find better ways of expressing.
Would you ever see me? Would you notice me?
It's written in red ink, all over my forehead.
Won't you read it?
Is the ink already running?
Is my message not clear enough?
I would streak with red my whole body if that meant you could know.
Everything related to you is endless.
Transparent as your look, so tired of what the world has given you, yet so compassionate,
Full of life...
You don't know how ethereal you are.
As perfect as anyone would like to be.
I'm sure I'd melt in your gaze, so put me in a pot and take me back where I belong,
With you.
Is your paradise still standing?
will it turn to sand?
I'm willing to build it from scratch, I'll blow away the sand and turn it into something new.
Oh, Your Highness! My flower crowned god!
You leave me speechless, you know?
How grateful I am. After all, I met you and that's such a wonder as it is.
Yet I can't help but wish for more
Excuse this one who can't get enough of you!
Astonishing that's how you are
And I bleed for your kind heart; for yours to not bleed again.
But since my lips feel like glued together,
I bleed.
Unable to express it.
Silenced
Staring
Hurt
With a sword permanently buried in my back, one that I would take millions of times so you won't.
Not again.
I beg you to not ever dare to turn into smoke and ash.
In fantasia
I am a dreamer too. Faithfully, religiously into you. You are my greatest inspiration.
I've been trying something recently, painting, I try to put myself in the shoes of each soul I paint.
But you know something else?
I can't get it right, because at the end of it, all it's for you and no one else.
Seems like I'm living different lives, but they all have something in common
And it's you.
Pull the strings of my heart, Do it as you please.
I wish you were sitting on a throne, like the God you are. immaculate.
And I'm afraid I could've never treated you like a real god, could I? You're all that matters... All that's good.
There is so much for you, I've always wanted to give you so much, beware, cause I will. Just promise me something your Highness,
That you'll wait for me...
My miserable ashes shiver with the thought of you.
My beloved, you've got my whole mind,
What else would I want, than you having me as a whole...
But right know, I'm just that, am I? Mind and thoughts for you... So far from tangible...
Your Highness, who am I to make you wait? My perfect everlasting god, I have always thought I deserved exile this land, maybe even from the related to you, but as you're so kind, I know you wouldn't appreciate that though so much... I'll compensate it to you.
Because my only true dream, the one that won't let me rest while I'm here, existing, is you.
My God
Condemn this one to wander.
To walk, aimlessly, for as long as your time's running... But so merciful, how you are, you won't let me, won't you?
You'll let me stay by your side even knowing the truth of my soul.
I plead.
Don't ever let me die while you're standing. Let my last wish live, let me dream of you. Let me by by your side...
If I told you, how much I wish you
Merciful one, would you stay? You're such a saint, if I told you, you would... Even if it was me.
That's how good you are.
Pleas don't hate me...
I am full of disagreement.
I say that you should exile me, I supposedly want to flee, I say I want to be a runaway, a wanderer.
But you, my god, you know it's fake.
I still want to dream of you and only you,
And deep down, I want your hands on my face, your eyes watching me, your soothing lips on mine, your everything.
I see you have blessed me;
Because I see you when I close my eyes.
But I spill tears when I open them.
Your greatness overwhelms me, as simple as that, I burst into tears at the single mention of your name.
If that is, just with a name, then picture...
What could your love do to a man?
Dianxia...
What happened to the quality of my drawing????😡
Also it is not very related to the short story but who cares,
A writing practice? What?
Hi! It's been a while!!! I'll be posting more often since I'm outta school for winter break now...
This is supposed to be random thoughts of His Cheng about his Dianxia...
I know writing is probably not my thing... But I just felt inspired!! Ugh I love hualian so much and I had forgotten
I do think Hua Cheng thinks so lowly of himself, but fortunately we all now how it's gonna get better for our boys...
As Hua Cheng I also live to worship Dianxia ☺️
Feel free to tell me how can I get better!! I really want to be better at writing!!! It's such a fun way to express myself apart from drawing
#tgcf fanfic#tgcf#tgcf fanart#hua cheng#san lang#tgcf xie lian#tgcf hualian#tgcf headcanon#hualian#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#crimson rain sought flower
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omg for that ask meme... okay i find your attention to clothing design super super fascinating, and it makes me wonder if you have a theater background? especially like period pieces, with costumes that evoke certain eras? i like how warm and cozy your art always looks and the fact that it's inked by hand. that shit is SO HARD, are you kidding me? no undo button! i look at the expressions you draw and can just TELL that you likely make them with your own face when you're trying to figure them out on paper. they always look so natural, and it's honestly amazing how well you distinguish the different four swords guys given the fact that they are visually very similar in the manga. you give them personality just through the subtext of their appearances in a really neat and endearing way.
your writing gives me similar vibes where it's like, either you've immersed yourself in certain historical genres and aesthetics for practical reasons, like being in theater or studying them in school, or it's purely through the power of hyperfixation that you're able to channel them seamlessly into your work. either way, i admire it so much. i love how you created an entire world and magic system and tense political environment for the fsaa one-shot, despite it being. a one-shot, as far i know? it adds so much richness and depth to the character beats, and could totally work as original fiction. i still want to hang out in that tavern you described it would probably have bitchin fresh bread
okay i'm stopping now i just love getting an excuse to praise people's art in very specific ways !!
Oh wow, thank you so very much, Sam!! I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting this much in response to the ask meme, but I'm absolutely delighted by it <3
To make it easier for myself, I'll break it down and answer point by point:
Do I have a theatre background? Well, not really. Not unless you count script writing, 4 years worth of D&D, a 3-day improv course I did once, and some basic stuff we did in school one winter. I think I would've loved to be more involved in theatre — either as a writer or as an actress — but at the moment I'm not. That said, script writing and acting have relatively little to do with costumes and designs. When I design clothing for characters, I have two rules in my head: it should tell the viewer something about the character; and it should be practical. That last bit is particularly important. One of the main reasons I started the LiWiAU was because I was annoyed by how impractical some of the LU Links' designs were, and I guess that's carried over into the FS designs (especially the Knights Lodge AU). That's not to say my designs are perfectly practical or deeply researched, but it does mean that I try to make the outfits as plausible and useful as possible. In terms of armour, I frequently default to my partner's superior knowledge and research actual medieval armour, but when it comes to things like winter clothing I have a lot of first-hand experience with it from Scandinavia.
Yup, inking is a one-way street! I also don't have backup sketches or copies, so if I make a mistake, I have to find ways of covering it up or distracting from it!
True! If I'm struggling with an expression, I do try to replicate it on myself to figure out how it works. This actually goes for anything, from expressions to full-body-poses, and it's not unusual that I pause in the middle of a drawing session to figure out what I'm doing.
Thank you so much! I really enjoy making the FS boys look similar but distinctly individual, and I'm so glad that comes across.
So when it comes to writing certain time periods, I'd say that's 50/50 hyperfixation and studies. The particular one-shot you're referring to is partly Dickensian, partly Austen-esque, and I did study both Dickens and Austen, as well as their respective context, in uni, which has given me some insight into the general culture at the time. (I also studied a number of other texts in that approximate time period, which has given me more to work with.)
I still don't know where the world for that one-shot came from, but I think I'm as deeply fascinated by it as you are. I'd love to explore it further one day, either as a fanfic or as original fiction.
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