#I also have zero fear of jumping in this game

[felassan]

David Gaider on Fenris, under a cut for length:

"Fenris. Now, DA2 is a story all on its own but I'm not going to go there other than to sum it up as "we had just over a year and a half to make this". It's why I only wrote one follower, Fenris, and although it'll make his fans mad: I probably shouldn't have. Let me explain. The way we'd approach making the followers is brainstorming a list of concepts covering first the array of gameplay classes (and sub-classes) and then making sure they each have some skin in the game when it came to the story's conflicts - ideally having characters on both sides of the major ones. Why? You can't make a player care about the world, but you can make them care about characters who care about the world. It's the easiest way to provide hooks into a conflict, outside of it knocking on the player's door. Heck, it's probably better than that. Players will burn the world for approval. After that, we'd decide things like romances/sexuality. Then the writers would pick who they'd write. I always let my writers pick first. I figured they do their best work when it's something they're inspired to write... and they got so few chances at ownership, I wanted to give it whenever I could It's why I (reluctantly) let Patrick wrest Cole from my grasp in DAI, a character I'd created in Asunder. It's also why I let Jennifer take Anders in DA2, who I'd started in Awakening. In this instance, it meant I was left with the angry elven warrior character who nobody else appeared to want."

"It should have been my first clue that something was up. The second was how the artists had zero clue what to do with him. The art concepts were all over the place - from mages to crows to... well, even weirder. No matter how hard I tried to explain the idea, the artists simply didn't seem to get it Does this mean he was a bad character? Not exactly. Just an idea that probably deserved some re-examining. You can tell when an idea has a certain spark, and part of that is being easy to communicate. Sadly, there wasn't time for any re-examining even if it'd occurred to me. And it didn't, not yet. If it had, if I had time, maybe I'd have re-booted him as a templar. Someone pro-templar rather than anti-mage, who could give a personal hook into Meredith and give the templars some badly-needed humanity. But this falls into the shoulda-woulda-coulda category. I had a follower to write. Quickly. I struggled, at first. It was hard to get away from "Fenris hates everything, all the time". It felt very one-note, and I didn't know where to take him. My third clue, I guess. I also wasn't sure if I was the right person to write a former slave. I did know that couldn't be the center of his story. I did know trauma, however. How it can eat you up. How the hate and resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. How it can infect your relationships. Fenris's trauma isn't my trauma, obviously, but here I dipped into a more personal part of myself than I'd ever done before."

"It gave me the center of his story I was missing, but wow was it uncomfortable. In a good way, maybe. I likely wouldn't have, if I hadn't been so desperate. In a way, I think DA2 had some of our best writing *because* of the timeline. It was raw, with little time to sand down the interesting parts. I wouldn't have done the "Fenris doesn't talk to you for three years" thing if I'd known we were going to cut all the reactivity initially planned for the time jumps. When that call was made, I campaigned to cut the jumps to a year, but there was no time for the revisions it'd need. So, um. Awkward. I used to get asked where the name came from, and I... don't remember? Obviously it's derived from Fenrir, but I don't recall why we picked that. Someone pointed at Fenris the Feared from Joe Abercrombie's books... and I did read them, so maybe the name lodged in my head? Wouldn't be the first time. Casting Fenris turned out to be easy. He was the first time I requested a specific VA and got him. (The other times were Merrill and then Solas, my two "I want these specific Welsh actors, please".) Why? OK, if you must know, I'd played a bit of Final Fantasy XII. I heard Balthier. "Yes, that." 😅 And Gideon Emery was a delight, as it turned out. Consummate professional, and that lovely gravel in his voice... good god. Bite the knuckles. There was a struggle to find the voice at the outset where I did my best not to say "just pls do Balthier" but he found Fenris on his own and it was amazing. Overall, Fenris turned out better than he had any right to, considering the rocky start. He had a lot of soul, a vulnerability forged by pain that struck a chord with a lot of players, and I'm glad. Do I regret anything? Probably having him live in a corpse-filled mansion that would never update. That's a hindsight thing, though, as again the cut to reactivity over the time jumps came late. Outside of that, maybe letting the player give him back to Danarius? Poor shock value and a waste of resources because almost nobody took the option. Good evil options are ones that are tempting to take. And the lyrium tattoos. Interesting concept, but they're probably why you'll never see Fenris in a future DA. He requires a custom body, and the tattoos make that expensive. It's why I put Fenris in my 4th DA novel - the cancelled one. Don't fret, though. He died in it, so this way he lives on. 😉"

[source thread]

User: "Wait wait how does he die in [the cancelled novel]??" David Gaider: "Gloriously, after taking up a cause he didn't believe in at first but then made his own, one that allowed him to rediscover what it meant to be elven." [source] David Gaider: "I’m not sorry about the novel cancellation. I’m the one who cancelled it. I am kinda sad we couldn’t make it work, though. Considering it was after I left the DA team, it would have been my final DA hurrah." [source] David Gaider: "From my perspective, it was kind of "well if you're never going to use him again, let me at least give him a proper send off" and the story required a glorious death... but I get that's not the story his biggest fans would want (which is Hawke + Fenris 4ever), so it's just as well." [source]

User: "You all did some incredible work with such a tight deadline" David Gaider: "I'm of the opinion that even if we'd had only another six months to bake, DA2 would be remembered as a classic and not either a flawed gem or underbaked sequel, depending on who you ask." [source]

[troblsomtwins829]

Kingdom D&D Module When?

So I've been playing the new Zelda off and on the last few weeks. I am nowhere near completing the main storyline. I've beaten one boss, like fifty shrines, several side quests, and got a buttload of membership points, but I have not beaten the main story.

I have, however, made it my personal goal to play "Skydiver Chicken" as frequently as possible.

I have also been exploring and farting around both the overworld AND the Below and I have got to say:

I NEED a dnd module with this setup and premise.

A strange darkness that breaks weapons and making people sick? Unnaturally occurring ruins floating AND falling from the SKY?! Once familiar landscapes being changed and altered by the actions of bumbling and intrepid heroes? RANDOM POSSE GROUP BATTLES?!?!!?

SIGN ME THE FK UP YOU COWARD!!!!

[yanderenightmare]

TW: noncon, yandere, omegaverse, subjugation, some type of sexism, angsty, also a little fluffy?

fem reader

Discussions about superiority and inferiority between Alphas, Betas, and Omegas have become more popular lately. It’s always been many people’s opinion that the weak should cater to those stronger than them—but a debate with that as its topic is unsavory. Unfortunately, they’ve found new ways to phrase it. 

A resonating “Unmated Omegas are a danger to themselves!” garners much more sympathy…

And with the rise of people talking about it in the media, it was only natural to move the conversation into school as well.

You keep your head bowed in class as the chill runs down your spine. You feel the glare of thirty fellow students—the points of their teeth, too, and how they snicker under their breath. It’s always been rather scary being an omega, but you can’t say you’ve ever felt quite so alone.  

The teacher’s an alpha, so why should he care how what he says impacts you? He’s preaching to the choir, and you’ve never had the right to sing. The three other Omegas in your class have all chosen to stay home. They probably have the right idea—wait it out until it all blows over.

But you don’t know when that might be… You don’t know if that will be.

Society is on the precipice of critical change—new politics, new laws, new systems, new rights that separate you from them. You wallow in fear of the outcome, lying awake at night and scrolling through the news under the safety of your duvet. The statements seem endless. You wonder, why are all politicians Alphas?

You don’t want any of the things they’re suggesting—mating homes to help you find the perfect Alpha to bond with, systematic pairings done from birth, auctions. Is no one going to suggest they put shock collars on all Alphas and Betas to keep them in check? They’re the ones who need to—

“Your scent is distracting the whole class—don’t you feel ashamed?” 

It’s too easy for him to have you bent over the desk, your wrist on your back in his big fist as he wraps his tie around them. He and his goons stand around, all smiles—watching—enjoying it. It’s as if they’ve planned the whole thing, the way two of them peel away from the crowd to grab each their pick of your feet. Parting them, they use your own shoelaces to tie them to the desk legs.

The ringleader laughs. There’s an awful smell coming off him in waves—it makes you quiver. He flips your skirt up and whistles at the sight, showing everyone your ass and cotton undies. The bulge he presses against you is enough to make your tears spill despite how hard you’d fought to keep them at bay, knowing it only arouses them further.

“Aww, don’t cry, little bitch. You should be happy,” he coos, leaning over your trapped form to whisper right at your ear. “Don’t you know? You’ll never feel happier than you will bouncing on my big Alpha dick. It’s all your little Omega cunt dreams about, isn’t it?” He snickers, fiddling with his belt buckle—you flinch at every sharp clink as he jostles the metal. “Well, salvation is here—”

“Keep it to yourself.” Another voice breaks through the sounds of hollers and cheers.

Your eyes open to see him. You despise how your heart jumps in relief.

“Oi, you—” the guy at your back challenges, stepping away from you and toward the interruption.

“Yeah, me,” he states blankly, jaded. He eyes the rest of the guys with disinterest—five betas, zero threat—before telling them, “All of you. Scram.”

They all take a step to walk out as if his voice alone had compelled them, but then the previous guy interjects, making them stop in their tracks again. “Tch—you know what they’re saying. All unmated Omegas are free game, and I won this one. So back off.”

It was like watching a match of tug-of-war.

“Heh,” the intruder laughs. “That rule only counts for Alphas.”

You spot your aggressor's fists curl—there’s a growl rumbling in the back of his throat. “I am an Alpha, asshole.”

“Really?” he feigns, sizing him up with a cocky tilt of his head. “Couldn’t tell.” He doesn’t seem fazed in light of the aggression—actually, it seems to amuse him if anything. “To me, you smell no different from all these other Beta losers.” 

He takes a casual step forward, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face—baring canines with grace.

“But if you wanna prove it, I’m ready when you are.”

It’s quiet after the declaration. The betas are unsure who’s side to pick, none of them eager to get caught in the middle. It becomes a competition purely between the two Alphas.

Without backup, your aggressor backs down and leaves.

“Thought so,” your savior jeers, showing the crowd out, closing and locking the door behind them.

It’s quiet after they’ve left.

You hide your face. Listening to his footsteps approach—he sighs when taking the place of the former guy. He doesn’t touch you, though.

“Y’know…” he starts. “That guy might be trash, but he isn’t wrong…” He picks up your skirt and drapes it back in place. “None of this would ever happen if you weren’t unmated.”

You speak through grit teeth. “Untie me.”

He chuckles familiarly at that, clicking his tongue at you. “What? Aren’t you gonna say please?” But he does what you say anyway. Squatting down, he starts with your ankles.

The scent of your fear still lingers in the air despite your tough act. You’ve always been so steadfast, ever since you were kids, even when it does you no good. He frees your feet—one, then the other, slowly—he even reties your laces into pretty bows before he’s done. 

He remembers it being so obvious. The sun rose in the morning and the moon at night, and you were supposed to be an Alpha while he a Beta at best. You promised you’d be by his side to keep him safe forever, and he wanted nothing more.

But then puberty hit, and nothing was as you’d imagined.

He stands and unknots the tie keeping your wrists restrained.

You immediately push him off—already storming away.

“Do I get no thank you, no nothing? Always so stubborn—” He grabs your arm.

You spin around, an unnatural snarl on your face. “Let go!”

You’d have been a terrifying Alpha. But as fate has it, you’re not. And you shouldn’t act like it. It only lands you in trouble.

But he doesn’t say that. 

“You been watchin’ the news?” he says instead, ignoring your cry and keeping a firm grip on your arm. “Seems like auctions are winning the voters. You know what that means?”

He feels you flinch, followed by a quiver. He can tell. No matter how good you are at hiding it. He can see—the way you’re fraying at the edges, barely holding it together. Always acting so strong. He can’t tell whether you enjoy torturing yourself or if you’re just that good at convincing yourself you’re fine.

“Pretty soon, new authorities are gonna come storming in here, roundin’ up every sorry unmated Omega they find, and put ‘em all on a farm where pompous Alphas can have their pick of the litter.”

He can never tell what you’re thinking, but he knows he doesn’t need to tell you any of this. You’re not stupid, you never have been. He knows you already know. But…

“You should decide now while it’s still your choice.” 

You must be terrified. He understands. But truly… it’s obvious what you have to do, isn’t it?

“It’s not like you have many options.”

It’s obvious. It always has been.

You don’t meet his eyes. You haven’t for a long while. Actually, you haven't since both of you got your test results. He understands this wasn’t what you had in mind, but you can’t afford to mope about it forever—

“How am I supposed to choose any Alpha when you’re all such assholes…”

Your mutter stunts him. It wasn’t what he expected. Or, the words were more or less exactly something he’d expect from you, but that voice—quiet and soft, dangling on the brink of sweet. If you’d said anything else, he’d have taken it as a confession.

“Can't argue with that,” he ends up chuckling again.

You hate how easy this is for him. He would cry at every turn when you were kids. It’s unfair. 

“But you can’t keep doing this, either,” he states. His voice is soft, paired with that ugly authority they all have when talking to you—talking down to you. “Just look where it gets you—scared and exhausted because of it. At least have the brains to stay home.” He says it as if it’s a joke, but you both know it isn’t. His chuckles are light—far from fullhearted.

He bends down, trying to find your eyes. He still holds onto your arm, knowing you’d sooner stomp away than listen to him. His other hand brushes your cheek gently, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“You hear the call from the rafters—it’s not about what you want anymore. It’s about what you need.”

That’s what they say, isn’t it? What you need. You want to slap him. Scratch him with claws, bite his throat out—make him choke on his own words. Need? What you need is for them all to fuck off.

You mean to say it with the same sentiment, but something hard and rough in your throat makes all your words come out wobbly. “Mate an Alpha to stay safe from other Alphas. What a joke.”

You bow your head further. The tears return. They burn as they trail down the sore streaks from before.

He’s never seen you like this. He won’t lie, it makes his pants tight—feeling the urge to suck your cheeks, hold you close and comfort you. But knowing you right, you’d probably never let him. Your face would probably scrunch up in disgust, punch his gut, knee his groin, then turn on your heel and leave him on the floor wheezing.

You really would have made the most terrifying Alpha. 

“The world isn’t fair,” he agrees. “But you get nowhere cryin’ about it—do it my way, and you’ll never—”

“Have any freedom,” you cut him off with a sniffle. 

It’s about the most adorable thing he’s seen in his life.

He gets why you don’t like Alphas—they’re all gross. He makes himself sick sometimes. He can’t believe he’s getting off on watching you have a mental breakdown. There’s something seriously wrong with his side of the species. His throat’s tight, mouth watery with the urge to reap your vulnerability. 

Suppressing it only makes his inner beast furious. Some of that aggression comes out in his next words.

“I’m sorry, but the world doesn’t give a shit about your freedom.” 

The grip around your arm tightens, and you look up in shock—watching his narrowed eyes through your watery ones. 

“What you need is safety—now more than ever. Or do you like being preyed on by every Alpha around the corner?” 

Your bottom lip trembles at the reality of it—a little while ago, you were almost— 

“One of these days, I'm not gonna be here in time, and you’ll be a slave to some fucking—” 

He huffs and hangs his head. His hand loosens up—it trembles where he holds you in place.

“In all honesty, I think I’m more scared than you,” he whispers under his breath. “I think I might kill—”

He stops himself again. You don’t know if it’s in an effort not to frighten you or himself.

“Speak about needs…” he begins anew, now softer. “I need to know you’re safe. I need to—” He looks up. His eyes are back to being round. “I need you more than you need me, probably.”

There’s a desperation on his face. It almost looks like he’s on the verge of tears himself.

“So… please?” he begs. “Will you keep me safe like you promised and stay by my side?”

Your tears dry and prickle. Looking into his eyes now, you see the same boy you knew back in your childhood—that one who’d chase you all over even when you’d call him a sniveling crybaby. You realize, Alpha or not, he hadn’t changed all that much at all. 

“It’s not like you need my permission,” you end up saying.

You’ve always been so hard-headed. He has to smile. “No, but I want it.”

You nibble your lip. You can’t believe you’re at the mercy of this big dumb hunk of… you don’t have the words to describe him. He wasn’t exactly a crybaby anymore. 

“Okay. You win.” 

His eyes widen as you bear your neck with a stretch. Head high and shoulders slack. 

You swallow thickly. “Get it over with.”

He shudders at the sight. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but now it almost seemed too soon. 

“We should be supervised by a professional—you know how wrong things can go—”

“Hurry up before I change my mind.” Your eyes remain shut, and your lips pursed.

His tongue grows thick in his mouth at your bark. A sudden stroke of performance anxiety makes his palms sweaty, hands heavy and shaking. But then the sight of your soft neck has his mood shift, becoming drowsy.

He has no control over the growl that begins rumbling from his gut.

But he doesn’t apologize for it either.

He bends forward—breaths on your chest before he licks your throat. You can’t help but whimper at the warmth. He watches you through hooded eyes—your usually angry face is now all cute, riddled with anxiety you try hiding paired with the grim anticipation of pain.

“Shh,” he soothes, kissing the spot softly. He sways you against him, then lifts you up on the desk for you to sit. Grazing your neck with teeth when feeling your hands tangle two fistfuls of his shirt. He expects you to push him away, but you don’t—you tug him closer instead as if silently telling him to hurry up.

But he doesn’t want to rush, doesn’t want to lose himself—that’s how accidents happen. So he sticks to sucking gently, only tiny nibbles that leave your skin hot and lightly bruised in their wake.

You give a moan once he finds the spot, and he growls in restraint upon the pretty sound—feeling you relax despite being threatened with his teeth right at your artery. He almost humps your leg in return, feeling the boil of blood pump him hot and heavy in his pants—breaths turning equally hot and heavy, each one laced with rust.

Drool coated your neck in a cool sheen, soothing the marks made beneath it, while his lips and fangs aroused pleasure in the spot that now ached for the sting of his bite.

“Please,” slipped from your mouth while tugging him closer. 

His eyes, completely drunk on the pretty prayer, had only a slim rim of color left surrounding the hungering bottomless pits, blown full and black with opium.

No one could come and take you away from him now. Not with his print so pretty on your neck. You were his—just as you were always supposed to be.

♡ BNHA – Deku, Kirishima, Natsuo, Amajiki, Mirio ♡ JJK – Yuji, Yuuta ♡ HQ – Kuro, Miya twins ♡ DS – Tanjiro, Zenitsu

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist

[esotericpluto]

your life 5 years from now

from left to right; intuitively choose the pile you feel more connected to. To make it easier, you can take a deep breathe, close your eyes and ask for guidance to your deities or guides. These are all general messages, so just take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This reading is timeless. If it resonates, feedback is always appreciated and motivates to keep doing pick a card readings. You can donate here.

dividers credit: @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

pile 1

fully intuitive, no cards

I feel like you will have a lot of success in your life, mainly financially. You will be very financially stable and living out your dreams. I see most of you will be in your desired career and learning everyday more about it, advancing in it and adquiring new skills. I see some of you investing money in various ways too, as buying properties, jewels or art pieces. Others might be investing in actions/stocks as well and building a diverse portfolio.

For some people in this group (mainly those who will be 25 plus in 5 years) I'm seeing that you will be building a family too or preparing yourself to build one, however I do advise you to be very careful with the partner you pick as some of you might be investing in a rotten apple without realizing. Do not ignore red flags and be 100% sure this person is fulfilling you and doing more than the bare minimum, as you do not want to regret the person you build a family with. Some of you might even receive warnings of this through dreams, so dream journal and study dream analysis.

Overall, I see, especially for women who picked this pile, that you will be highly successful. I see you having very close friends who are there for you and who are successful themselves, so no jealousy or envy in the scene. I see you all going on trips and nice fancy dates together and truly uplifting each other up.

You will be extremely well educated by then and might even be beginning to take on a PHD by that time. I also see you taking some free courses here and there and truly building yourself up and becoming very well read. You will be a real catch and grow into yourself both physically and mentally. You will be very grounded in all aspects of yourself. I am also seeing some travels around the world and possibly owning a cat or two.

pile 2

2 of cups, 10 of swords, 4 of wands, 7 of pentacles

For those who picked this pile, you will be entering a harmonious time in your life after a long era of suffering and worrying. I see, however, that all this depends on you. You will have to remove your blindfolds and actually take control of your life and make a decision once and for all about yourself and the direction of things. This might be working on yourself, working on limiting beliefs, putting end to toxic behaviors and thoughts you have about yourself or others, going to therapy and doing shadow work. For some of you, this will require the end of friendships/a relationship that won't serve you anymore and you will have to put yourself first, choosing yourself over them, even if hurts you for a while.

For others, this might indicate you are going to be entering a new relationship after worries of never finding the ideal person for you. However, I see that you will be plagued by fears that the relationship won't work or that the person will leave eventually and that you'll have to start from zero with someone new all over again. This is a valid fear, but you will only be allowing these thoughts to drain you out of life and happiness if you don't address them. Not only that, but you will end up easily minsunderstanding your partner or jumping to conclusions that will only put a strain in the relationship. You have been hurt before and you didn't deserve that, but be careful to not project the aftermath of that pain onto innocent people.

I do feel like this partner could be the end game for you, but only if you are willing to truly work through these issues and I'd recommend starting now. When the time comes, be willing to be open with them about the things you have been through as they'll be open minded and understand you better than anyone has. Consider going to therapy too and even couple therapy with them if you have the chance. People tend to think couple therapy is only for when things are going through rough patch or to "fix" things, but the truth is that every couple can benefit from couple therapy and it can help them heal from expectations and fears they carry on from childhood or past connections.

Working through all this will require some time dedication and patience from both, but I see it strengthening the relationship and even possibly leading to marriage and a lot of happy moments together.

I also feel like you might be going through a lot of tiring moments when it comes to your career in 5 years. I feel like most of you will still be trying to find a career/workplace that fits you and where you feel welcome. Others might even not be enjoying your job/employers for being too strict, non-understanding and draining. While you should be collaborative, you should never take abuse or energy draining vampires. You are strong enough to leave and find a better job for you, there are enough of them out there for you and you might even find a better area or truly follow your childhood dreams.

Your efforts when it comes to work will definitely pay off after a while and you will even receive a financial bonus/reward due to this.

I see a lot of celebrations. I feel like some of your friends or even family members like cousins and siblings (i'm also seeing an younger aunt possibly) getting married, engaged or having children. You might also be going to parties or hanging out with friends, trying to maintain a healthy social life. I'm also hearing to keep family close.

pile 3

Lovers, Temperance, 6 of cups, 5 of cups, Knight of Cups, 6 of wands, 7 of pentacles, 3 of cups

So I feel like for most of you 5 years from now this will be a time of self-love and balance in your life. I also see that you will be surrounded by life, with a stable partner/relationship (possibly already marriage for some of you) and expecting a new family member/child, whilw trying to balance things out in your life and home to make space for the new family element.

Because of this new addition to your newly founded family, I feel like you will be reminiscing a lot about your own childhood and how things went with your parents. I feel like they committed many mistakes that you feel resentful over still and that you'll fear repeating. It could also apply to anyone who might have hurt you during your childhood and you fearing the same happening to your kid. However, you're going to choose to look at this as a new beginning and as a way to give someone else the childhood they deserve, since you didn't have yours. I feel like this will help you heal your inner child and release the unwarranted guilt you might feel.

I feel like around this time you might even receive texts from ex partners trying to reconnect, which you will of course decline since you'll be in a happy relationship expecting (although this could also apply for people adopting/using surrogacy btw). Some of you, old friends will reconnect and want to catch up with you. I'm hearing to be careful with who you let back in, but a few of them will be trustworthy and you'll miss them in your life. I feel like some of them might just try to get into your life again for their own benefit and to ask you for money, so be careful. This could also be a family member for some of you.

Overall, it will be a time that you'll see many things come to fruition and you will feel truly victorious. I see a lot of happy joyful moments and celebrations, especially when the little one gets in the picture. I think it will be a very united and bonded family which is adorable.

There will be one month or two that you might need to go into introspection/solitude until you feel better and ready to face the world too. I feel like for some of you this could sadly be some form of postpartum depression, but I see you getting counselling for it and overcoming it without many struggles.

You will be pausing your career for a bit with this, however once you do get back I see people welcoming you with open arms, missing you and wishing you the best. I see you will also be able to get promoted/salary raise in a few months after you get back and so will your significant other, bringing more abundance to you two especially after being a bit tight on finances to make space for the baby.

[acrowwithakeyboard]

CVF fights and who seems to be able to beat who if caught in friendly fire

Putting a spoiler curtain over so it isn't taking up a huge chunk of screen unless you want to read

Basically what the tins got printed. While I try to rotate for a smaller group, sometimes my LDBs (mostly Ieama) has 8 people trudging along behind. When everyone aggros on a wolf the chances of someone NOT hitting a ally is never zero. There's been enough fights that I can figure who can beat who in a fight, tie with, or otherwise has a fluctuating score going. I’ve compiled more or less how the followers I currently have fare against each other in those fights. Now this is all based off of fights in my game, so if they are better in someone else's, I'll raise a glass for ' 'em!

Val: Spellswords are devastating. Pirates play dirty. Being both means he's not an easy opponent. He can take Redcap and Auri most times (unless Auri is far enough and has a clear shot she can take him out before his spells can reach her, while Redcap is a fast little friend and dodges his spells well). He hasn't fought Remi, though I think its just luck on that part, and it’s fluctuating with Tally and Xelzaz (I figure them to be a strategic lot, along with Nebarra), Gore has beat him down more than he’s won (their fighting lines really make for a scene) and he has yet to start shit with Nebarra, so we don't know yet if he would win or not. I'm thinking he'd lose though.

Auri: A very good archer indeed, she doesn't miss much, and constantly moves and creates distance between her and whoever messes with her. Can take down Nebarra and Redcap (the former usually isn't fast enough to get into close combat, and she has wicked aim when she's mad). She has not been in a fracas with Gore or Remi (by sentiment or luck I'm not sure) while Val, Tally and Xelzaz and can go toe to toe so the win/lose ratio is fluctuating. Generally, she fights the last three as an aid to someone else. Her taunts and fight lines about her eating her enemies hearts might also add a touch of fear into most of her opponents too. (Also, she keeps shooting me but I usually front line enemies, so, well call it an accident)

Gore: Generally, once he's set to beat someone's face clean through their ass he's not stopping, and will shrug off whatever is thrown at him to get the job done. He can and will fuck up Val, Xelzaz, Tally and Redcap if they hit him, (the first two have had wins, but Gore has beaten them more, the latter two... tried at least, but only managed once each) but he will get cut to ribbons if he pisses off Nebarra. He can adapt or overcome different opponents in close combat very well with his chosen weapon, and seems to have different approaches to each opponent. He will not hurt Auri or Remiel though. Not sure if he’s just never gotten aggro’d on those two or vise versa, if there’s a implemented code to keep him from going berserk on em, or he’s uniquely aware Auri will eat him should she kill him and just decided to Not Do That and Remi is, in his words, like a little sister so he wont hurt her no matter what, but he’s yet to fight them.

Remi: She generally gets people with a combo of skill and teamwork, and is pretty resourcful, Scrap helping out is also a given. Has beaten Xelzaz but apologized profusely, almost beat Redcap but stopped herself, and tried Nebarra but it, didn't go well. Most time if she is hit someone jumps in to help (Scrap automatically, but Gore also jumps in, and he can smoke quite a few folks in the party). She hasn't attacked Gore, Auri or Val, as of right now, BUT has had a near 10 minute long knock out drag down fist fight with Tally on a mountain in the Rift that ended in a tie and I’m waiting for round two to see who wins. They've yet to re-instigate the fight since. Scrap helped but she held her own very well without him after he was ejected quite suddenly from the fight.

Tally: He lasts a longer in a fight with people than other combinations, win or defeat. I chalk it up to him being used to close combat, working in and out of groups, and his experience in the Great war. Him and Nebarra are long time contenders and he’s won by both scrape of luck and strategy, has fought Xelzaz well and won more (only recently, not by much though). He got folded by Gore a lot when we first found him, still gets folded on the occasion, and he's only had one win against him. Auri has head shot him more than I can count but ultimately they are fluctuating, and Remi and him have had no winner but the longest fight I’ve ever seen between followers without one or the other falling. Neither were downed and I am waiting for the next one with concern and excitement.

Xelzaz: That Telvanni's stray firebolts have started a lot of fights. But as a good poisoner and a well taught wizard, he's got a good standing with most combatants. He has won some fights (Nebarra if he’s not right next to him immediately, Auri he has surprising good aim on though they are more or less equal) he can contend with Val and Tally for a bit, situational on who loses more, but apologizes to Remi and Redcap if he starts something with them, though he's been downed by Redcap. Gore I think has the drop on him with heavy steel and fast reflexes and the general bullheaded determination that affords pushing through being actively burnt and poisoned by Xel’s spells and weapons, so Xelzaz loses a fair bit more with him.

Redcap: Small body, big determination. He has beaten Gore, once. It was in Bleak Fall and he had 4 spears launched at him before he got close enough to hit Redcap, after which he made short work of the fight. He has had fights with him since but Gore is not an easy fight and gets the win now. Tally is his most recent win, (I got hit in the crossfire in that one), and he has taken Xelzaz down a few times but does stop the fight usually before that, same with Remi, if it happens at all. He’s been skewered by Auri, her aim is pretty damn good despite his small stature and speed, and he does damn well against Nebarra but ultimately loses (Nebarra usually gets him from behind first for some reason). Val can contend and win sometimes but hes small and VERY good at dodging Val's lightning. He also has skewered me and I and pretty sure I have died from a spear and low health combo once, so I’ll give that to him.

Nebarra is a vicious, embittered veteran of the Great war and it shows. Gore is often down in seconds, Remi taken off guard faster than you can say Dwemer, Redcap didn’t know what the Oblivion hit him, pretty sure Val hasn’t fought him only out of some begrudging respect for his skills. Regardless of these wins, him and Xelzaz have an Equal standing score more or less. Auri and Tally though are the closest thing to HR intervention to his not-so-appropriate comments on other races, but even then, those are hard won fights on their side. He's an old soldier doing whatever it takes to survive. This mer does not pull punches.

Finally, Scrap has taken down Gore, Auri, Xelzaz, Val, Redcap and a two of Xelzaz’s flame Atronachs, and they’ve all only fought him once ish to a completion. (the rest were stopped before his intervention) He attempted to aid Remi with her and Tally’s throw down but was blasted off the cliff by a well-placed ice spike. So, technically, Tally has probably the most wins against scrap in the group. But in conjunction with that, Scrap is the best fighter based on ratio of wins vs loses.

Ieama is one who has seen the most of these fights, and mostly let them resolve with a win before intervening. She is of the idea that beating the Oblivion out each other builds character and strengthens relationships. She is also a firm believer of 'talk shit, get hit' in Nebarra's case.

[jaeyunverse]

dates with enhypen

pairing(s): ot7 x fem!reader

genre(s): fluff

warning(s) | none

taglist: @skzenhalove @seongclb @boyfhee @s00buwu @flwrshee @haerinz

summary: the various kinds of dates i think the enhypen members would love going on <3

masterlist

𝗹𝗲𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴

typical dates. lee heeseung keeps it sweet and simple. he takes you out on arcade and karaoke dates. he takes you out to watch stand-up comedies. he takes you out to new food joints every week so you can rate the places together. he challenges you to play video games and always ends up humiliating himself. his personal favourites are bowling and card games.

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴

elegant dates. dating jay means going to michelin star restaurants for dinner. it means going for a wine tasting or driving up to his parents’ lakehouse for the weekend. art galleries are also a common destination along with museums and great libraries. on a few rare occasions, the two of you also go to watch plays.

𝘀𝗶𝗺 𝗷𝗮𝗲𝘆𝘂𝗻

impromptu dates. jake will show up at your place without any warning and tell you to get ready. he might plan a movie date this week and then do a complete 180° the next by taking you out for camping. he loves that you always go along with whatever he has in store for you. you never fail to meet his energy—it’s one of the reasons he was drawn to you in the first place.

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻

creative dates. park sunghoon always thinks of something new for each date. he takes you to the shooting range when you need to let off some time and to the trampoline park when you’re feeling sad. sometimes, though, the two of you just prefer to stay in and watch movies with good food. drive-ins have a special place in your hearts since that was where you first met.

𝗸𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗼𝗼

cute dates. it’s a broad concept, but that is the recurring theme of all of kim sunoo’s dates. he takes you to pet cafes and carnivals. he loves to paint with you and explore the city on your bicycles. he adores watching you see the sunset and treasures the feeling of your head resting on his shoulder. kim sunoo is also big on creating his own date ideas instead of doing the same things everyone else does.

𝘆𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻

nature dates. there is something about enjoying each other’s presence away from all distractions of daily life that has always been appealing to the two of you. going on picnics, talking a walk on the beach and exploring the woods are hang out ideas for when you haven’t had the time to plan anything. visting jungwon’s granparents’ cabin for the weekend or going for a hiking trip are dates for when you want to enjoy each other’s company for longer periods.

𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶

adventure dates. the two of you have zero sense of self preservation so you often do the wildest things one can think of. most of your dates are first times for both you—bungee jumping, spray painting all over the city using a shared alias and climbing to the top of a ferris wheel in an abandoned amusement park to stargaze are some dates that come to mind. you’re both strong on gaining new experiences and living with no fears rather than just spending time with each other.

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Bonus chapter 2

Author’s note: This chapter is a long one compared to what I usually write, but I feel like it made sense to have it all in just one and not make two since everything revolves around the same topic, and there are some time jumps that I hope aren't too confusing. I also am still working on the third and last one (was supposed to finish it last night during the champions league game, but things happened 😅), though I think I can have it ready for next Thursday. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 Hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading! 💜

First chapter | Last chapter | Bonus chapter 1 | Bonus chapter 3

Masterlist

A few years after the previous chapter...

“I think I'm getting the watch, Chilly. I… Chilly?” Mason said, looking around. “Please wrap it for me. Thank you” he said to the jeweller's shop assistant before joining his friend. “Benjamin!”

“Bloody hell, Mason” Ben said, his hand instinctively moving to his heart. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Shit, sorry. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, don't worry. What happened?”

“That I was calling you and you weren't listening. What were you so interested… No!” Mason gasped.

“It isn't what it looks like.”

“Isn't it?” he laughed. “Chilly, you were checking engagement rings! Are you thinking about proposing to June?”

“What? No!”

“Oh, so you were checking them just for fun.”

“Yeah” Ben shrugged.

“You are such a bad liar, Benjamin” he laughed again. “Tell me all about it.”

“About what?”

“About how you are going to ask June to marry you!”

“Shh, lower down your voice!” he said, looking around. The shop was almost empty, but if someone recognised them…

“Ok, ok. How are you going to do it?” Mason whisperer.

“I'm not going to do it.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because June doesn't want to marry me” Ben said.

“Bullshit, Chilly. June is madly in love with you! And you told me that she had confessed that she wanted to start a family with you one day.”

“She did, yes. But she never mentioned getting married, and that was when we moved in together a few years ago. Now…”

“Now nothing has changed. If you ask me, it has actually gotten worse, because when you guys started dating, you weren't as cheesy and annoying as you are now.”

“We are what?” Ben laughed.

“Cheesy and annoying. Sometimes I fear I may end up having a sugar rush just by looking at you.”

“Sure.”

“I'm being serious, Chilly. If you ask June to marry you, she is gonna say yes. I have zero doubts about it.”

“I don't know, Mason…” he sighed. “Because I've brought up the topic a few times since Vittoria got engaged, and she's always ignored me and started to talk about something else. It's like she avoids it.”

“What do you mean?”

“After Vitto’s engagement party I asked her about the ring, if it was her style and if she liked it, and she gave me a vague answer and started to talk about the food. Same after she came back from going wedding dress shopping for the first time with her and after she told us they were going to get married in Italy. I asked her if she liked any of that for herself, and she changed the topic. And do you know why, Mason? Because she doesn't want to marry me.”

“Ben, I think you are taking things out of context here.”

“I'm not” he insisted. “After what happened when we moved in she got scared, and now she doesn't want to take the next step in our relationship because she fears everything may go to hell.”

“But that won't be happening.”

“I know! But you know June. After all these years, she still feels insecure about us. You don't know how many times she's told me that she has to pinch herself from time to time to make sure that she isn't dreaming, that her happiness is real.”

“That's something cute to say, Chilly. Not insecurity.”

“But this is June, Mason. This… nevermind.”

“Ben…”

“Are you buying that watch?”

“I am, but Ben… You need to talk with June about this. Don't be stupid.”

“I will, don't worry. C'mon.”

“Ben…”

“I will” he said. “Now let's go pay for that watch and get something to eat, I'm famished.

“Fine” Mason sighed, giving up.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hello, Chilwell.”

“Hi” Ben smiled as June sat down on the sofa next to him and kissed his cheek. “How was the wedding dress shopping today?”

“We found the one!”

“Really?”

“Yep” she smiled. “Vittoria looks amazing. She's gonna be the most stunning bride ever.”

“I beg to differ.”

“What?” she laughed.

“You, June Maxwell, are gonna be the most stunning bride ever.”

“I'm afraid you are a bit biased here, Chilwell.”

“It is a fact, not an opinion.”

“You and your facts” she chuckled.

“Yes, me and my facts. They are always right.”

“Are they?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. “Because I remember you writing about how I would never get to be top 3 at the Ballon d'Or, and a couple of years later there you were, cheering for me when I got second place.”

“The exception that proves the rule” he shrugged. “You are gonna be the most stunning bride ever, June.”

“Yeah, well… I also found my bridesmaid dress, by the way! It's super comfortable, I can even get down on one knee. And it makes my butt look so good. All the girls said that you won't be able to keep your hands to yourself, Chilwell. It's a fact” she smirked.

“Yeah, well…” he said, repeating the same words June had just said, sounding as disinterested as she had.

“Ben, are you ok? Did something happen when you were out with Mason?”

“Uh?”

“You've gone so serious…” she said, caressing his cheek. 

“It's nothing, don't worry.”

“Saying that is only making me worry a lot more.” 

“I'm fine, June. Just a bit tired” Ben smiled. 

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Ok… Why don't you start making dinner while I take a shower and then I help you?”

“Why don't we shower together and then make dinner?” he smirked.

“That actually sounds like a better plan.”

“I know” he grinned. 

“But weren't you tired?”

“When it comes to loving you I'm never tired, June.”

“Aww, he's gone all cheesy” she smiled.

“According to Mason, as time has gone by we've become super cheesy.”

“What?”

“Yeah” Ben shrugged. “Anyway, shall we?”

“Let's go” June said, getting up from the sofa. And as she started to walk… “Chilwell!” she laughed when he pinched her butt.

“I'm sorry, Maxwell, I couldn't help myself. It looks so peachy” he smirked again.

“So peachy… so peachy… Idiot!” she said before sticking out her tongue and starting to run upstairs, Ben doing the same after her, both of them laughing like two kids. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“June, have you checked your phone?” Vittoria said.

“Not since before training. Why?” she replied while getting dressed. 

“Because there is an article about Ben and Mason in The Sun, and it involves you.”

“Me? How? Did they… Did they find out about when Mason and I…” It had been years since their hook up. Could the press have somehow found out about it now? 

“It isn't about that. Look” Vittoria said, showing her her phone.

“Oh my God” June gasped. 

“Wedding bells for June Maxwell and Ben Chilwell? The ex football player and tv pundit was seen at a famous jeweller's with best friend Mason Mount, where he stopped to check some engagement rings according to eyewitnesses.”

“June… Do you think… Do you think he is going to propose?” Vittoria asked her.

“I… I… I gotta go” she blurted out, taking her things and almost tripping as she put on her shoes and ran towards the changing room’s door all at the same time. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You've seen it, haven't you?” June said, storming into the kitchen. 

“Hello to you too” Ben chuckled.

“Have you seen it or not?” she asked again.

“Seen what?” 

“The article on The Sun, Chilwell.”

“Oh, that” he said, finding the carrot he was cutting extremely interesting. 

“Yes, that” she replied. “Ben… Are you going to propose?”

“Straight to the point” he said with a sad chuckle.

“Are you or not?”

“I'm not, June. I know you don't want to marry me, so why bother?”

“Wait, what?” 

“Yeah” he shrugged.

“Why do you say that, Ben?”

“Because it is the truth. Didn't you hear the way you just sighed when I said that I'm not going to propose?”

“Yes, but…”

“And for the past few months you've been avoiding the topic every time I've brought it up, always starting to talk about something else. I guess you are scared of things going to hell like happened when we moved in together, afraid that this time we may not be able to fix them because getting married is something big.”

“Ben, that's not it” June said, moving to stand next to him.

“Isn't it?”

“No, it isn't” she said, cupping his face and forcing him to look at her. “Ben, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“But…”

“There isn't a but.”

“Then why don't you want to marry me? I thought marriage was something you believed in.”

“And I do. I do believe in marriage, Ben.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding talking about it, June?”

“It's…” she said, looking for the right words. “Ben, I want to marry you. I truly do. But not now.”

“What?” he said.

“It isn't the right moment. And not because I am scared. I mean, a little part of my brain will always be scared, that's who I am” she shrugged. “But not my heart. Never my heart. Because you mended it with your love, Ben. And every night when I fall asleep, I do it knowing that you are the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man of my dreams, the one I'm destined to grow old with. Because I love you, Benjamin James Chilwell. I fucking love you, you hear me?”

“I love you too, June Elizabeth Maxwell” he smiled. “And to be honest, we don't need a piece of paper telling us what we already know, do we?”

“Exactly. So stop with the conspiracy theories, ok? That was my job, not yours.”

“Ok” he chuckled.

“I'm serious, Chilwell. Now that I don't have doubts anymore, that I'm 100% sure I want this… us… I don't need you, the one who has been sure about his feelings since the beginning, starting to doubt.”

“I won't fuck it up. I promise.”

“Swear it on your collection of trainers.”

“What?” Ben laughed.

“Do it. Swear it on them.”

“Ok, ok. I swear it. No more doubts.”

“Good” June smiled. “Because I do want to marry you, Ben. I do, and I will. You just need to be a bit patient, ok?”

“Ok” he smiled back, all the stupid doubts he had been having, finally going away. June loved him, and she wanted to marry him, she wanted it all with him. Nothing had changed. 

“Now move that nice ass of yours and get our dinner ready. I'm famished.”

“So bossy, Maxwell” he said with a teasing smile.

“Get used to it, Chilwell. You are stuck with me for the rest of your very long life.”

“Looking forward to it” he smiled. And he had meant it. Because he was looking forward to growing old and grey (maybe a bit bald too) with her, married or not.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

A few months later...

“Ben…”

“Uhm?”

“Ben, there are people watching.”

“And?”

“And we can't do this in front of them” June said, taking the hand that was dangerously moving up her thigh and letting it rest on the table. “This, has to stay here.”

“It can't, Maxwell. Because you and the girls were right. That bridesmaid dress is making it impossible to keep my hands to myself.”

“Well, you must, Chilwell. It is Vittoria's wedding, and we can't ruin it because we are getting arrested for inappropriate behaviour. Have you forgotten that her dad is a police officer?”

“How could I?” he laughed. “May I remind you that when we started dating and you introduced us, he basically threatened to throw me in the deepest part of the Mediterranean if I dared hurting you?”

“He loves me very much, yes” she smiled.

“He does. Though not as much as I love you.”

“Chilwell!” June giggled when he started kissing her neck.

“Guys, can you please leave that for later?” Lauren interrupted them. “It's time for our speech.”

“You are giving a speech?” Ben said after giving June one last kiss that he knew would be leaving a mark on her neck.

“We are, yes. Didn't June tell you about it? We are the bride's best friends.”

“English best friends” June corrected her.

“Whatever” Lauren said. “C'mon, they are waiting for us.”

“Ok, fine. I'm… Chilwell!” she yelped as she got up from her chair.

“Yes?” he said with an innocent smile.

“Did you just pinch my butt?”

“Maybe” he shrugged. “I already told you I can't keep my hands to myself, Maxwell. And that dress makes your bum look so peachy” he smirked.

“You two are disgusting. C'mon” Lauren said, grabbing June's arm and dragging her away from Ben before he tried something else.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“And that's how Vittoria became our best friend” Lauren smiled, the crowd still laughing at the anecdote. 

“We love you, Vitto” June said.

“And I love you too!” she replied, wiping away a tear.

“But June, speaking of loving someone…” Lauren said. “I think there was something you wanted to say.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you” she said, taking the microphone. “So, as you all probably know because you saw us making out on live tv after we won the World Cup a few years ago, I'm dating this chap called Ben Chilwell. Chilly according to his friends. Though if my friends gave me that nickname, I would end our friendship right there. Chilly? Really?” June said, everyone laughing again. “Anyway… Besides seeing us kiss, you all probably heard me telling him that I loved him. Cute, I know” she smiled. “But what you don't know, is that that was the first time I was telling him those three words. I had tried a few times before, but someone or something always interrupted us. And to be honest, doing it the way I did and where I did it, makes it a better story to tell our grandchildren, doesn't it? And we could tell them more stories. Like, for example, that at first we couldn't stand each other and that he was my number one hater. I'm sure some of you still remember Ben's facts” she said, air quoting that last word and rolling her eyes. “Or how he scared the hell out of all of us when we thought he had had a heart attack, and it made me realize that I was in love with him. Or how we became girlfriend and boyfriend while flying over the Indian Ocean. As you can see, we like doing things our own way, and kind of go big or go home. And tonight, it won't be any different. So, Chilwell, could you please join me up here?” June said with her most charming smile. “C'mon, don't be shy.”

“I'll go fetch him” Lauren offered, all the guests looking at them.

“Hello” June smiled when they joined her on the little stage that had been set for the band that was playing later. 

“Hi” Ben smiled back. “And what the fuck, Maxwell” he whispered while she kissed his cheek.

“You are blushing… cute” she whispered back.

“My face has been burning since you started talking about us and everyone was looking my way. What are you doing, June?”

“Patient, Chilwell” she smirked. “Could we please get a round of applause for my gorgeous boyfriend? He's a bit nervous.”

“June…” he hissed when everyone started clapping. 

“Like I just said, in our relationship we don't do things the usual way. And on this occasion, it won't be any different. So” June said, giving the microphone back to Lauren while she gave her something else. Something small that fit in the palm of her hand. “Benjamin James Chilwell. Chilwell… Ben… Would you marry me?” she said, getting down on one knee and showing him what Lauren had given her: a little box with a ring inside it.

“June” he gasped. “I… I… Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, Maxwell. I will marry you.”

“Yay!” Lauren started clapping next to them while all the guests cheered, Ben helping June stand up so she would not ruin her dress. If someone was going to do that, it would be him when he took it off her.

“You are fucking crazy, Maxwell” he laughed while she put the ring on his finger.

“For you? Most definitely” she smiled. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you too, June” he said before wrapping his arms around her and giving her one of those kisses you only see in movies, the cheers around them getting louder.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Now I understand it all” Ben said while staring at his ring.

“Understand what?” June said, moving to look at him. 

After the proposal, getting greeted by their friends and basically everyone at the wedding, and celebrating by dancing until their feet hurt, they had finally retired to their room, where Ben had done what he had been dreaming of the whole day: be all over June. Though the part about ripping the dress out of her, hadn't actually happened.

They both had been so eager and desperate to be in each other's arms, that the moment they had crossed their room's door they hadn't bothered to take off their clothes. They had done it against the wall, June's dress wrapped around her waist, Ben still in his suit. It had been once they had gotten all that almost animalistic need and want out of their systems, that they had slowed down, whispering love words and kissing and caressing each other until no clothes were on their bodies, getting to properly enjoy the night. 

“The way you have been behaving since Vittoria got engaged. You have been planning it all since then, haven't you? And the girls have helped you.”

“Yep” June smiled. “You weren't the only one who had started to think about taking the next step, Ben. Though unlike you, and in an unexpected turn of events, I was the one who was completely sure about her feelings, our relationship, and that I wanted to marry you.”

“Yeah” he chuckled. “I just… I don't know why I started to feel so insecure, why it got in my head the way it did. Because I also was sure about my feelings for you, our relationship, and that I wanted to marry you. But I… I don't know” he sighed.

“That's in the past, Ben” June said, caressing his cheek. “What matters now, is that we love each other and that we both are on the same page. That we both want to get married and spend the rest of our lives together.”

“We do” he smiled. “I can't wait to call you my wife.”

“And I can't wait to call you Mr. Maxwell.”

“What?” he laughed.

“If you think I'm going to change my last name, you are very wrong, Chilwell.”

“I'm not changing mine either, Maxwell.”

“It would be very cool, tho. And Benjamin Maxwell sounds lovely.”

“We can save that name for our first kid, then” he said, pulling her closer towards him.

“I'm not naming our kids after us, I'm sorry.”

“Why not? I love your name, it is so unique.”

“Then why do you call me Maxwell all the time, uh?” she asked with a teasing smile.

“I don't know. I guess it got stuck after always calling you like that on tv” he shrugged. “And you call me Chilwell all the time too.”

“Yes, but I do it to tease you” she grinned. 

“Rude” Ben chuckled. “But if I change my last name to Maxwell, you won't be able to do it anymore. Think about it.”

“And I do love calling you Chilwell…”

“Then it is settled. No last name change.”

“No last name change for us. But…”

“But?”

“You just said that Benjamin Maxwell sounded nice for our kids. Does that mean that they will have my last name?” she smirked, moving even closer towards him.

“I'll think about it.”

“Is there anything I could do to help you think?” she said, her hand slowly moving from his chest all the way down to his belly button.

“That's cheating, June” Ben said, his body tensing under her touch.

“We haven't set any rules, so” she shrugged, her hand still moving down.

“We… fuck” Ben gasped.

“I think I have the winning hand here.”

“June!” he laughed. “But…” he said, moving to be on top of her and totally catching her by surprise. “I also have an ace in the hole. Well, almost.”

“Benjamin!” June said, also laughing.

“You started it all, Maxwell” he shrugged. 

“I did, yes” she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you, fiancé.”

“Is that your new nickname for me? Fiancé?”

“It has a nice ring to it too, don't you think? No pun intended.”

“It actually does, yes” Ben chuckled. “But I guess that from now on I'll have to say that I love you too… fiancée” he smiled before kissing her.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Good morning, fiancé.”

“Good morning” Ben smiled.

“Pepper, have I told you that he is my fiancé? This guy right here?” June said, hugging from behind and wrapping her arms around him. “This gorgeous man, is my fiancé, Pepper.”

“Meow” he replied, sat next to them waiting for Ben to maybe give him something to eat.

“I think he heard you the first time” Ben chuckled. 

“Just in case he forgot” she shrugged.

“Keeping in mind that you are constantly reminding him and everyone that crosses paths with you that I am your fiancé…”

“Are you calling me annoying, Chilwell?”

“I would never dare, Maxwell.”

“Good” she said, resting her head on his shoulder while he kept making their breakfast. “But it isn't my fault I'm happy and want to share it with the world. Or my world at least, not the outside one. That one can wait.”

“And to think I believed you didn't want to marry me…” Ben said.

“You and your insecurities. I wonder who you got them from.”

“Right?” he laughed. “But they are gone, and aren't coming back. I swear it on my sneakers collection.”

“That's my boy. Wait, no. My fiancé” she corrected herself.

“A fiancé that won't be able to finish making you a delicious breakfast if you keep hugging him like that.”

“Don't you like it?” she asked, kissing the back of his neck.

“I love it, June. You know I do. But we also  need to eat something that isn't the other” he smirked, moving on her arms until he was facing her.

“Shame” she sighed.

“We can do it later, tho.”

“I like how that sounds” she smirked back.

“Now why don't you go get the garden table ready? It's a glorious day, we should eat outside.”

“Ok… fiancé” June giggled before kissing Ben's nose and letting go of him, humming something to herself while Pepper followed her around and he just stared at her. “Chilwell, our breakfast.”

“Yes, our breakfast. Sorry” he smiled, giving her one last look and focusing on their food, thinking that he was the luckiest man alive.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You know, if things as a manager don't work out, you should open a restaurant.”

“What?” Ben laughed.

“Or maybe a bed and breakfast. We could buy a small house somewhere in the countryside and turn it into one! You would cook, and I would take care of everything else.”

“Do you see yourself living in the countryside?”

“I actually do, yes” June smiled. 

“You had never told me that.”

“It is a recent dream of mine. But I still have at least a couple of good years playing football before I have to start thinking about retiring and all that.”

“What would you call it?”

“Uh?”

“Your bed and breakfast. What would you call it? June's?” Ben asked her.

“What about… Chilly in June?” she laughed.

“That sounds too weird.”

“Maxwell and Chilwell?”

“Umm… It could work.”

“Does this mean that you are in? That you would move to the countryside with me?” she asked him.

“I would go to the end of the world with you, June” he smiled.

“Aww, Ben” she smiled back. “Though we've kind of done that already. We went to Australia together, remember?”

“We did, yes” he chuckled. “And I have something for you” he said when they managed to stop looking at each other like two idiots in love, which was what they actually were.

“For me?”

“For you” Ben said, giving her a Kinder egg.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you giving me one now?”

“Can't a fiancé give her fiancée a little present?” he chuckles.

“Of course he can. But this is like our thing after games, and the season hasn't started yet.”

“I know.”

“Then?”

“Then what?”

“Then why are you giving me this now?”

“Maxwell, can you please just accept it and stop asking so many questions?” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Ok, ok. Do you want half of it?”

“It's all yours, June.”

“Ummm…”

“What now?” Ben sighed.

“You are nervous” she said, opening the egg and following the same routine sh  had since she was a little girl. First she would carefully unwrap it so the paper was as intact as possible. Then she would open it making sure each half was perfect and they didn't break, and after that, she would check the surprise before eating the chocolate. 

“I'm not nervous” he chuckled.

“Yes, you are, Chilwell. Is there something I should know?”

“What?”

“I think there is something going on, something you aren't telling. Something… Ben” June gasped when she opened the surprise. “What… This… You…”

“This had been my plan all along, you know?” he said. “To ask you to marry me like this, in our garden after making and eating breakfast together, and with the ring inside a Kinder egg surprise. I wanted it to happen in the place where we fell in love, in our home. But you, Miss Maxwell, had other plans and beat me to it” he chuckled.

“I… sorry?”

“It's ok” he said, taking the ring. “May I still do it?”

“Do what?” 

“Ask you to marry me, June. I know we already are engaged, but…”

“Yes.”

“I haven't asked yet, Maxwell” he smirked.

“Oh, shut up and just do it, Chilwell” she replied, rolling her eyes.

“Ok” he said, still smirking as he got down on one knee. “June Elizabeth Maxwell. Would you do me the immense honour of becoming my wife?”

“Yes. Yes, yes and yes!” she said, jumping at him and hugging him.

“June!” he said as they both fell down. 

“Shit. Are you ok?”

“I am, don't worry” he chuckled, sitting up and making June do the same on his lap. “May I?”

“Please” she said, extending her hand.

“Perfect. Do you like it?”

“I love it, Ben. And I love you. I love so very much.”

“I love you too, June” he said. And as he leaned forward to kiss her… “Pepper!”

“Meow!” the cat said, jumping to sit between them.

“That's his way of giving you his blessing” she laughed.

“Well, thank you very much, sir. May I now kiss my future wife? My fiancée?”

“Meow!” Pepper replied before jumping again and starting to run after a butterfly.

“I think that's a yes.”

“If that's the case… Were was I?”

“You were about to kiss me… fiancé.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you… fiancée” he smiled before finally kissing June.  

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

A year (or so) later...

“I still can't believe this is how they've decided to do it” Mason said.

“What is wrong with it?” Reece asked. 

“Nothing, but… I don't know. Didn't June say that they are like, go big or go home with important moments in their relationship?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are they getting married… here?” Mason said, looking around. 

“I think it is cute. This place means a lot to them, it is where they fell in love.”

“Yes, but… They are getting married in their house, Reece. In their garden.” And it had all been June's idea.

She and Ben had spent months looking at venues all around the country and even some in France and Spain during their holidays, but none of them had felt right. Not until during a lovely spring day, June found what they were looking for.

They had been sitting on the sofas they had in the garden, Ben resting his head on her lap while going through some notes from his manager school like she liked calling it, and June running her hand through his hair and keeping an eye on Pepper, who was trying to catch a lizard. And in that moment, surrounded by all the flowers Ben had so meticulously planted and taken care of over the years, the smell from the lunch they had cooked together still in the air, she had felt it: happiness. Pure bliss. 

Life could freeze in that moment, repeat over and over again as if they were stuck in a loop, and she would still feel like the luckiest woman in the world. 

That garden… their garden… was the perfect place to celebrate their love. After all, it had been where it all had started.

“There you are” Leah said, walking towards Mason and Reece. “They are ready, it's time.”

“Can't believe we are about to witness June and Ben getting married” Reece said. 

“You tell me” she chuckled. “Anyway, ready to walk me down the aisle, Mount?”

“Yes, ma'am” Mason smiled, offering Leah his arm. After them, Reece and Lauren also were getting ready to walk into the garden, Vittoria and John behind them, Pepper chilling in his arms. 

That had been one of the pros June had told Ben while trying to convince him to get married in the garden: Pepper could be with them. 

“Are you nervous?” Ben's mum asked him as they went down the stairs, Mason and Leah already outside, Reece and Lauren following them.

“You have no idea” he said with a nervous laugh. “Did you get to see her?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“She looks breathtaking, Ben. You'll see for yourself in just a minute.”

“If she hasn't run away…”

“Benjamin!” his mum said, hitting his arm.

“I'm joking, I’m joking” he laughed. “I know she isn't going anywhere. She can't. Because like I’m saying on my vows, my heart belongs to her just as hers belongs to me.”

“Aww, Benny” she smiled. “Ready?” she asked when they made it to the door.

“Ready” he nodded, taking a deep breath and stepping outside, all their guests smiling at him while Mason, Leah, Reece, Lauren, Vittoria, John and the officiant waited for him next to the arch of flowers at the end of the garden, Pepper already chilling on his favorite bed next to it. 

“Relax, bro” he heard Mason say behind him once he joined them, his mum sitting next to June’s parents and trying not to cry. Again. She had already done it a few times while they were getting ready, especially when he had shown her that he was going to wear the same tie his dad had worn on their wedding day. “This way he will also be with me on the most important day of my life” he had told her. 

“I'm…” relaxed. That was what Ben would have liked to say. But the music had changed, and everyone was looking at the door that led to the garden, at the two people who were walking through it: June and her dad. “Bloody hell” he whispered, his eyes fixed on June. She looked… she… she was… She… 

“Hello, Chilwell” she smiled when she joined him. 

“Breathtaking.”

“What?”

“My mum was right. You look breathtaking, June” he finally managed to say.

“Thank you” she replied, feeling her cheeks get warmer and warmer by the second. Ben had called her any synonym of beautiful you could think of since they had gotten together, but he had never done it while looking at her the way he was in that moment: in complete awe. 

“I thought you said your dress could rival Princess Diana's. What happened?” he asked.

“It got lost somewhere” she shrugged. “Don't you like this one? Lauren said it fits me just like my Versace one but in white and longer” she said, looking down at it. It was a very simple white dress, it didn't have anything special. But Lauren's comment had stuck with her even after trying on others, which according to her mum meant that it was the one.

“And she's not wrong” Ben said, remembering how good June had looked the first time he had seen her wearing that dress. How smoking hot she looked. “Is that why you are wearing the same hairpins?” he asked, nodding towards her hair.

“You've noticed!” she smiled, touching them. 

“Of course I have, Maxwell. I remember every single detail of how you looked that night. And after today” he said, taking a step closer towards her. “I will also remember every single detail of how breathtaking you are looking right now.”

“Ben…” she whispered, also moving forward.

“Ahem” the officiant said when June's hand touched Ben's face. “The kiss is for later. You aren't married yet.”

“Sorry” they both apologised, moving back to their positions.

“May I start?” the officiant asked them.

“You may” Ben said. “And sorry. Again.”

“It's ok” he said before starting with the ceremony, one where June and Ben didn't stop looking at each other. Not when Pepper let out a big meow that made everyone laugh, and especially not when they said their vows. Though through the corner of her eye, June noticed Reece asking his sister for a handkerchief and wiping away some tears. “I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride” the officiant said. 

“Finally” Ben smiled before wrapping his arms around June and kissing her, everyone clapping and cheering. “I love you, June” he said against her lips. “Or should I say wife? Because that's what you are now, Maxwell. You are my wife. Did you hear that, guys? June Maxwell is my wife!” 

“Chilwell!” she said while hitting his arm, everyone laughing.

“What? It is the truth. You are my wife, Maxwell” he smirked.

“I know. And in case you've forgotten, you are my husband. And I love you.”

“Say that again, please.” 

“What?”

“The last three words. After all these years, I still am not used to hearing you saying them” Ben teased her.

“Idiot” she laughed. 

“Yet you love me” he said, pulling her even closer towards him. 

“I do. I love you very much… husband” June smiled.

“And I love you too, wife” he smiled back before kissing her again, more cheers and some meows surrounding them. 

[ynverse]

chemical imbalance

L x gn! reader | fluff

a/n: i want to cause a chemical imbalance in his brain so badly

“it seems like you have caused a chemical imbalance within my body.”

your head whipped towards L at his random outburst. it wasn’t unusual for the man to ignore social cues, or be wholly inept and unaware of the clues at all, but this sentence felt different.

“ryuzaki, what,” you questioned, putting down some files regarding the third kira, “is this your way of saying you suspect me of being the second kira again? we have already proven misa was the second kira.”

if this were another accusation, you would probably rip your hair out of frustration. you suspected light of being the first kira - more like knew he was after he randomly gained misa amane as a “girlfriend.” understandably, your connection to light made the notorious L wary of you being the second kira - the idea of childhood friends sticking together wasn’t one he could rule out. thankfully, misa’s sudden appearance cleared your name - though, the detective wanted you to stay with the task force for the time being to prove you had zero relation to the case. L also valued the fact that you could push your emotions aside and try to help solve the case, something he grew to appreciate more when soichiro finally accepted your word against light’s and viewed his son as a possibility.

“frankly speaking, the likelihood of you being kira at some point in time will never be completely zero,” L calmly stated, his teeth barely brushing against his calloused thumb, “however, this is not directly about the kira case.”

“oh?”

you couldn’t help but tilt your head slightly, wondering what he meant. it wasn’t unheard of for you to be stumped by the man deemed the world’s greatest detective (the world’s top three greatest detectives apparently) but something told you this was different. to be honest, you didn’t even think he had the capacity or desire to think about anything beyond the kira case. he spent dollar after dollar, risked life and limb, and even resorted to morally grey techniques to get this far…the idea of him focused on anything else seemed absurd.

“my ventral tegmental area started producing dopamine around you.”

“uhm,” you hummed aloud, “am i supposed to understand what you mean?”

the detective only let his shoulders sag even more, seemingly annoyed he had to explain to you further. L greatly understood that there was a price for everything but he couldn’t help but feel aggravated at times when he had to explain himself. it was an easy deduction in his mind, one so simple that an explanation shouldn’t be needed. there was also a nagging in his mind that was not from intellectual superiority. a nagging that felt like he shouldn’t explain himself for fear of actually being understood. logically, it made sense for him to want to fault you for the feelings that have risen inside of him but his heart was suddenly trying to sway the detective’s reasoning. human emotions are such fickle things, always hindering the logical capabilities of the species is capable of.

sentience lies within emotions. that is what made humans scientifically the better species, as many researchers like to argue, but L felt as if it was the opposite. his owlish eyes only glinted in them when he knew he has won a game, his childish nature only appearing at times when others would deem it insignificant. L did not need emotions to hinder him. he saw the way soichiro looked over at his son with loving eyes and a strong sense of familial connection, completely ignoring the fact that his son is a likely candidate for the world’s most wanted. L did not want to be blinded by emotion, but it was not in his nature to go down feebly.

“dopamine plays a huge role in addiction miss y/n. it jumps from each of our neurons and builds a pathway for the stimuli to take over our whole brain. then the nucleus accumbens increases the production of dopamine. this causes the adrenal gland to become active which manufactures adrenaline and norepinephrine; our flight or fight response is now present - though i suppose it is now flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or submit. do you understand where i am leading,” L tilted his head, his owlishly dark eyes gazing straight at yours.

you honestly understood maybe seventy-five percent of what he said at most. you would look around the room to get help from others — a common occurrence as no one could keep up with the eccentric detective — but it was just you and L present at the moment. typically, these small moments between the two of you were interrupted by a discovery or watari bringing snacks to help the both of you focus. you liked the idea of the aloof man beside you speaking and interacting like normal, as normal as he can get, but you were beginning to feel a little frustrated by his statements. for one, they made you feel incredibly stupid as you couldn’t process the words he was saying at the speed at which he did. secondly, you were close to finding a link to the third kira but that was now lost in your mind as the detective managed to garner all your attention. and lastly, you were irritated by how pretty he seemed to be with the blue light from the screens radiating off his ghostly pale skin. the man who, although justified, is aiming to put her best friend behind bars. the man who uses moral grey but legal techniques to gain victory. the man who probably saw her as a pawn, maybe even a bishop if she was lucky, in this chess match constructed by him and light… the man who was beside you. this wasn’t a place for emotions but would you be human if you didn’t seem to show immense sentience at the worst times?

“ryuzaki, please speak japanese or even english - just not whatever this is,” you sighed exasperatedly.

L moved his thumb from his bottom lip and let out a small sigh, “you are clouding my judgment. when you are around, my frontal lobe doesn’t seem to be occupying at full capacity even when i sit the way i do. my amygdala seems broken; the idea of you being kira in any sense seems to be statistically plausible yet i cannot fathom it. you are hindering my detective work and my capabilities - though, i do not anticipate it as purposeful which is more frustrating. i think it would be safe to assume i have feelings for you.”

“romantic feelings ryuzaki? or platonic? no offense,” you started, seeing his eyes analyze your every move, “but you don’t seem like the type to be able to tell the difference.”

“if it was strictly platonic, my frontal lobe and amygdala would not be as hindered. it seems more plausible to me that these feelings are romantic.”

you could only stare at him, unaware of the heat rising to your face and your hands playing with themselves. you both knew this was not the time to build strong emotional attachments to one another but who were you at your core if not someone who yearned for affection?

“based on your reaction, i assume you feel the same way…or at least aren’t appalled by the idea,” L turned back towards the screen, a ghost of a smile on his lips, “we do not have to do anything about this at the moment, I rather have us both be safe from kira before we try to progress or discuss anything between us.”

you simply nodded before looking back at the files on the yotsuba group, pretending to focus as you try to gaze at the detective from the corner of your eyes. this wasn’t the time for romance but you both would try and make the time available as soon as possible. however, for now, you two would enjoy the comfort of knowing the feelings were mutual and that at the end of this path, someone would be waiting for you with open arms.

[ultraflavour]

Early Daggerheart thoughts, from the Open Beta Manuscript:

This is a full game. The PDF is 377 pages, and contains seemingly everything you'd need to play a long-term campaign, though I'd expect players might want to wait for the final rules before diving into this with both feet. Still, there's a LOT here for a first offering.

Matt Mercer gets a Game Designer credit on these rules. Not a huge surprise to think that Mercer would have a pretty strong hand in the design of this game, but the fact that he is acting in a full designer capacity is interesting.

As you'd hope, this game codifies player safety tools such as Lines, Veils and the X-Card. It also suggests about an hour of shared world-building during Session Zero, which I am a big fan of.

Probably the trickiest part of running this game for people who are accustomed to Initiative-based combat (probably a lot of Daggerheart's intended audience) was going to be how to run low-structure combats. A lot of PbtAs and Forged in the Darks prefer to say that "Combat is just an extension of the narrative, have fun!" But there's actually a lot of good information about how to run initiative-less combats here.

Surprisingly, the GM rolls a different die than the players do: While players are rolling 2d12s, the GM rolls a d20 when attacking. This is also counter to the normal "PbtA" ethos where the GM never rolls dice, and the consequences arise strictly out of the players' successes and failures.

Previously, I had been under the impression that Action Tokens and Fear were the same thing, ie. the GM only gets tokens to act when players roll Fear as a consequence of an action. That turns out to be untrue, the GM gets an action token every time the players make an action roll. So the amount of "moves" the GM gets to make in combat scales linearly with the number of rolls the players make, though the GM can also cash in Action Tokens to get Fear tokens, which lets them unleash their more nasty monster abilities.

Building up the Hope reservoir as a motivating factor for the players is a very smart way to encourage them to act boldly. If the players keep playing it too safe, they don't get any Hope to spend for big moments. Unlike D&D which tops the players up with resources at the start of the day and has those resources slowly dwindle, Daggerheart instead gives players those resources as a reward for heroism. There's other ways to get it, such as "Prepare" during a Short Rest, but that's only one of four things you can do during a rest, and you can only pick two.

The thing that surprises me most here is just how complete this Beta is. There's stuff in here that I was not expecting to get, including a lot of GM-facing stuff (There's about 70 pages of GM-specific info in this PDF).

I was not expecting to be able to jump into this thing with both feet so soon. While I expect that there will be more player options in the final release, and slightly more balanced monsters, what we have now is easily enough to get going.

[sonicexelle-junkary]

Your sonic the rot au-- You've stated that a person can be cured if they go super.. So this begs a FEW little questions. 1. Sonic has passed the point of no return HOWEVER the emeralds have restored his life before, so let's get to question #1.. if Sonic somehow turned super.. would he be revived or would we have an infected super sonic? 2. If super forms CAN kill the virus, how would the virus react to Fleetway? Since he IS super sonic, albeit evil. They wouldn't be able to infect him, right? Would it be afraid? 3. Back to question one in a way.. since the chaos emeralds have restored his life before, the same thing could be done for others. (If you're wondering when this was, it was in Sonic 06. And you DID say you're following the ingame continuity.) So would the chaos emeralds be able to wish everyone infected back to life if they were to use the warp topaz? DR. Starline said it himself that it can cause MASSIVe changes with just a little charge! Pump the power of super shadow through it, and he should be able to undo everything in one fell swoop. If it exists.. if not, shadow could do something similar with the phantom ruby. 4. Is Silver infected as well? If he wasn't I think it'd be cool if Silver and Shadow were some sort of apocalypse duo, surviving the terrors together. Also, how DID shadow get infected? Did Sonic get the jump on him?? Please answer both. 5. Lastly, how did Sonic get infected? He's patient zero so he had to be infected, I'm placing my bets that Eggman infected him with it, and possibly fucked himself because of that.. because if Eggman did create the virus, then it sure as hell isn't following his orders. I imagine Eggman staying locked up in his base if this is the case, if not.. he's very unprepared for what's to happen.

Well, this is a long one. I’ll answer this the best I can

1- perhaps. But if he runs out of rings he would drop dead, as his insides are hollow. There is nothing to restore. The Rot will never ‘go super’. Why would they do something that would kill them?

2-The Rot can’t infect pure chaos energy (which is what I assume super forms to be), so it won’t be able to infect Fleetway. Now, will it be afraid of him? No. As The Rot is incapable of fear. At least, that’s what seems to be the case.

3- the au only follows game continuity, everything outside of the main line games created by the sonic team aren’t cannon (despite tangle being cannon to Frontiers). And despite following main game continuity, it doesn’t follow the same cannon as the games do (just to keep the story a little more interesting so that it’s not just a ‘oh gee this character is better now the day is saved’ kind of deal. It’s meant to be bleak for a reason). The chaos emeralds can’t just magically heal a person when they become super. You could heal someone with them, but to create organs from nothing might be a stretch, even for that. As well, pretty much all of the phantom Ruby prototypes are gone post forces, I assume the real deal as well.

4- no comment

5- see previous answer

[lunar-wandering]

Stim

Summary: Wukong has been told, for over 2,000 years, that “repetitive motions” are annoying and bad. Today he’s going to learn that’s wrong.

TW: Wukong has some internalized ableism thoughts in this, I didn’t get really into it that much to the point where I think it’s really bad but I’m putting a TW anyways. Oh, also there’s a tiny bit of self harm via him biting his cheek.

Word Count: 4.9k

Read on Ao3

MK was excited.

Wukong could tell, based on the overpowering smile and energetic…well, energy coming off of his successor. The kid had shown up for training and, instead of asking what they would be learning that day, had almost instantly started rambling. Something about a new game? Wukong wasn’t entirely sure. MK spoke so fast and there were a lot of younger monkeys running around at the start of MK’s explanation, so Wukong hadn’t managed to fully… get what MK was saying, and he didn’t want to interrupt by asking the kid now, since it had already been a good few minutes of the kid rambling off. He thinks he’s starting to get the gist of it, the new game seemingly having a character inspired by himself and-

Realization dawns on him, and Wukong interrupts his successor, stating the name of the game as well as the fact he needed to approve the script for it. MK freezes, and for a brief moment Wukong worries he got something wrong, that now wasn’t a good time in the conversation to interrupt with this fact. Maybe he should have waited until he was sure MK was entirely finished?

MK surprises him by jumping back into excitement mode at full speed, shifting gears from just talking about the game to asking if Wukong can give him any early access spoilers in zero seconds flat.

“C’mon, please? At the very least, just one hint.” He gets down on his knees to emphasize just how badly he wants to know, and Wukong barely keeps himself from rolling his eyes at the overdramatics, forcing back the memories of a certain… ex-friend of his doing something similar. (He’d been dragged to so many plays way back when).

“Well…. I guess I can tell you one thing.” Wukong chuckles, giving in, and kneeling down to whisper a small spoiler into MK’s ear that, based on the kid’s rambles, he just knew would drive MK wild.

And it seems he was right, as MK practically jumps up, and Wukong smiles at his successor’s excitement-

Only for that smile to drop as MK starts jumping up and down repeatedly, flapping his arms and shaking his hands as though trying to shake the energy out of himself. 

Wukong quickly fixes his expression to a neutral smile before MK can notice. Not that it would matter really, the kid was so focused in on moving around that he wasn’t even looking at his mentor. But, as he watches MK continue to do his thing, he has to wonder.

Did… Did he pick that up from him?

He couldn’t have, right? Wukong had completely managed to get rid of his “destructive and annoying habits” by the time the journey had ended.

So why was MK doing the exact same thing he used to do? He was so certain he’d stopped doing… any of that altogether. Had he slipped up and fell back into it at some point? The kid surely would’ve commented on it if he had, right? Oh no- how long had the kid been doing this for?

That thought struck a chord of pure fear in Wukong’s mind. How long had MK been doing this for?? Had his friends and family noticed?

It occurred to Wukong that he should take MK back to the city and, at the very least, apologize to Pigsy for accidentally passing down his old habits onto MK… somehow. He still wasn’t sure how MK had picked this habit of his up.

…Would it hurt that much to ask?

“Hey- uh, Kid, how did you-” Wukong started, then blinked, realizing that all that stood before him were the monkeys and a small indent in the ground. For a beat, he just stared at the indent in general confusion, briefly glancing up at the sky in a split second of wondering if something had fallen to the ground and he hadn’t noticed, before the dots finally connected in his brain and he shook his head, glancing off in the direction of the mainland, activating his golden vision to see MK vaulting his way over the ocean back towards the city’s shoreline. The kid had probably told him goodbye and he hadn’t even noticed it from how deep in thought he was. He hoped that MK wasn’t too upset that he didn’t answer.

…Albeit, considering the kid had outright left instead of staying for training, it finally clicked that something must’ve happened in the city.

Still swallowed by his earlier concern about MK’s new habits, Wukong turned himself into a bird and followed behind his apprentice.

-

Thankfully, it ended up just being Jin and Yin wrecking a little havoc again, a situation MK easily dealt with.

Unfortunately though, this meant that MK returned to Pigsy’s noodles with the exact same amount of energy coursing through him as he had before the fight.

Wukong winced as he watched the kid’s friends converge on him outside of the Noodle Shop- as far as he could tell, it was the usual checkup to make sure that MK hadn’t been injured (like he even could be, albeit, he supposed it was a fair concern, he wasn’t sure if any of them had noticed that he’d been slowly peeling back the magic seal to let MK be invulnerable again. It wasn’t at full strength yet like it was before, but it was starting to get there. …Actually, had he told MK he was doing that? He couldn’t remember. Huh. Maybe he should bring that up at their next training session- oh shit he was getting distracted again-), but the injury checkup wasn’t really what had Wukong concerned.

No, what made him outright cringe from his perch on the edge of a nearby building, was when MK began rambling about the game once more…and started doing the motions again.

He got himself ready to hop down there, to apologize, promise he’d fix it, like how he’d been fixed, and very nearly did when he saw Mei start copying MK’s gestures, assuming that she was making fun of him-

But paused, as their expressions finally registered in his mind, and it hit him like a truck that the dragon girl wasn’t making fun of MK.

She was joining in.

Wukong could feel his bird transformation drop, changing him back to his normal monkey form out of shock, and he quickly dove down behind the roof’s ledge before anyone could look up and see him. For a moment, he just sat there, staring at nothing, panic starting to grip at him. Had he somehow managed to influence not one, but two kids? Did he need to do double the apologies??

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed hold of the edge of the roof, lifting himself up slightly to peek over again, just to make sure, and only just barely stopped himself from letting out a noise as he saw what was happening below.

Which was…nothing.

Or well, it was something, MK and Mei still doing the gestures happily, talking back and forth, but-

The others… didn’t look mad?

It was like-

They all seemed to be acting like this was normal.

It took a moment, for that to sink in.

This was considered normal.

And now that he was really thinking about it, no-one passing by on the street were giving the Monkie Kid or the Dragon Girl a second glance either. If he had been doing the motions as publicly as MK and Mei were doing them, he would’ve certainly been receiving dirty glares by now.

But for some reason, that… simply wasn’t happening.

…Wukong wasn’t an idiot. He knew he had been isolated, and hadn’t interacted with the mortal world for some time. But- was it really-

Was it really true? Not some sort of prank?? This kind of thing was just… accepted now?

Wukong grabbed hold of his tail to keep it from swishing back and forth, taking a deep breath as anxiety pooled in his chest.

If this was normal now, it was arguably a good thing he hadn’t voiced any of his thoughts in front of MK. What if he had hurt the kid’s feelings? He could’ve. He almost did.

Wukong let go of his tail in favour of covering his face with hands, and slowly dragging his hands down his face, proceeding to resist the sudden urge to repeat the action. Standing up, he briefly glanced down again, just in time to see the small group happily entering the Noodle Shop, and he just as quickly looked away, not bothering with either his cloud nor his transformations as he simply teleported back to his house on the mountain.

Collapsing face first onto the couch, he rolled to the side, staring at his laptop, wondering if maybe he should use the internet to look into the motions MK and Mei had been doing.

He tossed the notion away as soon as he thought about it. Confirmation that it seemed to be a normal occurrence now aside- Wukong genuinely felt… almost afraid to find out what the motions meant. What he had missed.

…How the people he’d trusted might’ve been wrong.

Wukong turned back over so that he was on his stomach, his head face down into the couch cushions. His hand briefly skimmed the surface of the side of the couch, and he practically bit his tongue resisting the urge to do that again-

…Except it didn’t really matter, did it?

He paused.

The repetitive actions of Mei and MK, out on full view in the middle of the street, were deemed acceptable by modern society. Plus, there was no-one in here with him at the current moment, right? Nobody to get annoyed by his repetitive motions. He could do whatever he wanted. Without consequences.

Without consequences.

Tentatively, Wukong let his hand brush over the side of the couch again. And again. And- again. Speeding up slightly, to get m o r e of the sensation, before slowing down once his hand got tired, going back up in speed once his hand no longer felt like it was going to fall off.

Something about the- the texture, the repeated action of brushing up against it felt- almost soothing? Relaxing. Wukong could feel his muscles untense as he got lost in the sensation.

So lost, in fact, that he barely even noticed the time passing, until MK’s voice calling his name made him startle hard enough to fall off the couch.

Almost instantly the sound of running feet approaching him reached his ears, and he barely managed to pull himself off the ground and into a standing position before MK was stumbling into the living room, barely managing to stop himself from crashing into a wall due to the speed he had built up.

“Ah- hey bud!” Wukong lifted the hand he hadn’t been using to give MK a lil wave. His other hand still felt… tingly, almost incriminating, and he hid it behind his back, hoping the kid wouldn’t notice anything off. “Back to finally do some training today?”

MK, for his part, looked somewhat guilty.

“Sorry- were you napping? I didn’t mean to wake you up.” MK shifted nervously back and forth, rocking on his feet.

Wukong subconsciously found himself mimicking the rocking motion, before he just as quickly stopped himself, glancing off to the side. He’d found himself slipping into rocking motions around the kid before, and stopped them without pause, but now that he was thinking more about it, he felt almost… self-conscious? Maybe. That kind of seemed like the best word for it. Ashamed was another one, but he didn’t want to think about it like that too much…

Shaking those thoughts out of his mind, ignoring MK’s confused and concerned expression, he decided to focus in on the kid’s question.

“Napping? Uh-” He was about to deny it, before thinking better of it. Napping certainly was a better excuse as to why he had spent so much time on the couch to the point that it probably had left a decent mark on his face that the kid had picked up on, a far better excuse than what he had actually been doing. “Yeah, I uh, woke up pretty early this morning to deal with some… issue or other that the lil monkey’s had. I was just catching up on the extra sleep before you came back!!”

It seemed like a decent excuse. It was a perfectly reasonable scenario, in Wukong’s opinion.

But for some reason, MK still looked at him with doubt. Wukong, for some reason feeling like the kid could see right through him, glanced off to the side again, hoping he wasn’t being as obvious as he felt he was, the nervous energy growing in his chest and slowly extending it’s reaching fingers into his limbs.

“Are you o-” MK started, and Wukong instinctively reached back to grab hold of his tail as soon as it started swishing. There was barely a pause as MK quickly, and suddenly, switched gears. “Okay, I’ve been ignoring this for like, a while but why do you keep doing that?”

“Doing what?” Had he done something wrong?

“Grabbing hold of your tail whenever it starts swishing like that.” MK clarified, and Wukong winced, letting go of his tail immediately- swapping out the action instead for doing his best to remain perfectly still, almost biting the inside of his cheek as unease and a sense of just… generally being uncomfortable took hold of his body. MK’s eyes narrowed. “You’re hiding something. Again.”

“What?! No. I uh- I… only just woke up?” Okay, even Wukong knew that was a lousy excuse, wincing even as he said it, feeling a nervous smile starting to form on his face, actually drawing a small amount of blood from how hard he was biting his cheek in an attempt to prevent the nervous smirk he knew would appear from growing.

MK didn’t even bother to dignify him with a response, instead simply raising an eyebrow, just… staring. It took everything in Wukong’s power to not shift his feet nervously. He just knew the kid had picked up that look from Pigsy, somehow. It had just as much power on MK as it did on the respected pig demon. As in; a lot of power.

He only barely managed to hold out for half a minute before he caved in.

“I just-” Wukong started, then paused, thinking. How was he even going to explain this? Where should he even begin? From the point he first saw MK doing the motions? But that would require explaining his thoughts and- what if the kid got hurt by it? Wukong still wasn’t sure on the- specifics and everything, but it was obvious that it was considered a normal thing, and if he revealed he had thought it was bad, well- that’d- that’d definitely hurt the kid, right? Wukong didn’t want that. So how should he start then?

MK was still rocking back and forth on his feet, awaiting Wukong’s explanation. He had to say something. But where would he even begin??? 

“I… I followed you back into the city during the attack today.” He chose to begin there, hesitantly. “Um, and I stuck around for a little bit after Jin and Yin ran off- oh! You do know that I’ve been slowly making the seal less powerful right, your invulnerability is slowly returning to you, the others don’t need to be as worried about possible injuries as they are-”

“I kinda figured that out on my own, Monkey King.” MK said, calmly, almost gently in a way that made Wukong want to flinch. “It’s kinda hard to not notice when I don’t take any damage from a 3 story fall other than a small bruise on my elbow. But that’s not what you wanted to tell me, is it?”

No. It’s not. But in fact, he’d rather not tell MK about any of this at all.

But he’d been trying to communicate better with MK and the other’s lately. It had been insisted upon near a hundred times that in order for trust to be achieved they had to actually talk to each other, and tell the others when something important was happening-

Or when they needed help.

Wukong let out a breath.

“Okay. Okay okay. So- followed you back to the city. Not a lie.” He clarified, “But it- wasn’t because of the attack. It’s- I was worried.”

“Worried about what?” MK stood a little straighter, his rocking stopping as he gave Wukong his full attention. “Did something happen?”

“No- well- not anything- important, it’s- I.” Wukong ran his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face as he tried to figure out how best to phrase what he was going to say without offending the kid. “When… When I was younger. I used to do these… motions. And- I was. Taught? Told. I was told that these motions were… not good.”

MK slowly nodded, seemingly following, but still confused as to how this related back to the situation at hand. Wukong sighed.

“And, this morning, I saw you doing those same motions, and-”

“Oh.”

“-and I got worried that you picked that up from me-”

“Oh.”

“-So I followed you to the city, and I saw Mei join in with you, and I thought she was making fun of you, but she wasn’t-”

“Monkey King-”

“-and the others didn’t seem to mind, and everyone was acting like it was normal, and- I know that I’ve been gone from society for a long time, which means it probably is normal now, and I was just being stupid for worrying about it-”

“Sun Wukong.”

Wukong froze, looking up, not having realized until that moment that he had started curling into himself. MK very rarely used Wukong’s name, usually reserving it for moments of utmost importance. (And the occasional call out, but those were also, in fact, usually important. The only time it wasn’t from what Wukong could recall was when the kid had called him out on his stagefright, but that was more of a statement of all his titles, really, so he didn’t count it).

MK looked deadly serious.

“Monkey King, do you not know what stimming is?”

“...Swimming?”

“No, stimming.”

“I…no?”

MK inhaled sharply.

“But- you’re- you so obviously-” He stumbled over his own words for a moment, before pausing, marching forwards and grabbing hold of Wukong’s hands. “Have you been resisting doing the- motions?”

“...Yes?”

“How?”

The word was spoken with a sense of urgency, and Wukong immediately had the sense that his answer wasn’t going to make MK happy.

After a few moments of silence, MK’s grip on Wukong’s hands tightened.

“How, Monkey King.”

Wukong allowed himself just a few seconds more of hesitation, of delaying the inevitable.

“...Biting my cheek, sometimes.” He muttered, “Most often that’s it- or some other form of mild pain, ‘s usually enough to make the feeling go away. Biting my cheek is just the one people are less likely to notice. …Let me tell you though, blood tastes awful, I have no idea how vampires put up with it-”

“I’m taking you to see Mr. Tang.” 

“You- what?” Wukong didn’t even get an instant to process, as the next thing he knew, MK was using his grip on Wukong’s hands to drag him out of the house. “MK-”

“We’re going to go see Tang, and that’s final.” MK summoned the staff, glancing back at Wukong. “Are you going to cooperate and come on your own free will, or am I gonna have to drag you to the Noodle Shop?”

Wukong considered the idea of running away from this situation for just a second too long.

Next thing he knew, MK had shifted his weight, as well as his grip on Wukong’s and was using the staff to vault into the air.

-

They landed in front of the Noodle Shop with enough force to crack concrete. Wukong stumbled as MK let go of his hand, taking a moment to regain his balance (it had been a while since he vaulted with the staff, sue him), and MK gave him the briefest of moments to recollect himself before he was pushing Wukong into the building.

Thankfully, it seemed like it was currently a slow business hour, as the only other people in the Noodle Shop were Tang, and, of course, Pigsy. MK directed Wukong to a chair.

“Sit.” He said, not really giving the monkey much of a choice as he pushed down on his shoulders, forcing him into the chair. “Stay.”

“I’m not a dog, kid.” Wukong mumbled, but obeyed the request anyways, crossing one leg over the other and looking out the window at the people passing by outside as MK rushed over to whisper… something to Tang. A pair of chopsticks slipped out of Tang’s hand as the man froze in shock, and Wukong’s ear twitched as they clanged against the table. He could make a guess that MK was simply telling Tang what Wukong had told him, and he only barely repressed the shudder going down his spine. It was fine. This was fine. It was bound to happen anyways after telling MK, that was the point of this, being open about these things meant being open with all of them.

A bowl of sliced peaches slid it’s way in front of him, and Wukong wished he could say he didn’t jump at it’s appearance. Pigsy didn’t say anything, instead simply nudging the bowl slightly closer to him again, before turning back around and refocusing on cleaning some dishes left over from the lunch hour. Wukong stared at the bowl with a blank mind for a few seconds, before he slowly took a piece and started nibbling on it.

MK and Tang were still talking.

…Wukong could just leave, right now.

There was nothing keeping him here, no magic spell. He could just go back to the mountain, avoid the other’s questions, and maybe, in a week, they’d all forget about it.

…But these peaches were really good. (He’d have to ask, later, where Pigsy had bought them from). And, well, he knew better. The others would never let something like this just… drop. He knew that from experience. The last time he had tried to hide away, Mei had quite literally broken a hole through the wall of the safehouse he’d been hiding in. He still hadn’t bothered to fix it, instead just using a magic placeholder to make it seem like it’d been fixed. Now that he thought about it, he should probably get around to fixing that up eventually-

A tap on his shoulder broke him out of his thoughts, and he very nearly choked on the peach slice he’d been eating. He coughed for a moment, catching his breath, before turning in his seat to find MK and Tang standing behind him. When had they moved? Wukong hadn’t even noticed. This whole thing must’ve been bothering him more than he had thought if it had shot his concentration like this.

“So.” Tang said, “MK tells me you need my help.”

“Wha- psh, help? Please. I don’t need help.” Wukong wasn’t sure why MK thought that he needed help from Tang of all people. He’d already figured out that his thought process had most likely been wrong, and he’d already corrected himself. Simple. Easy. There wasn’t anything else to do.

…Was there?

MK had seemed very concerned by Wukong avoiding doing the motions…

But that was fine, right? He’d already kinda started on that, he had allowed himself that little couch thing, earlier- he didn’t really want to tell MK about that, considering how deeply he had lost himself in it, but maybe if he did MK would realize that he didn’t need any help? Surely they were making a big deal out of nothing, or something.

His tail started swishing back and forth again, and subconsciously Wukong reached out with his hand to stop it, before freezing in the middle of the action. MK had only called him out on this whole thing earlier because he had stopped his tail from swishing. Maybe he should just… let it happen instead?

He let his hand drop back to the side, allowing his tail to continue to swish, hoping that he didn’t look as self-conscious about it as he felt. He was fairly sure he didn’t, but something must’ve been showing on his face, as MK made a sort of ‘Do You See What I’m Talking About’ gesture in his general direction, and Tang made a nod of confirmation. Trying to ignore how kinda-uncomfortable this was making him feel, Wukong turned back around to put another peach slice in his mouth.

There was some rustling behind him, and his ear twitched, but he did his best to ignore it, for a while. Just, giving himself a bit of time to mentally prepare himself.

And then there was a metal clang, and Wukong spun around out of both concern and curiosity-

“Okay, how on Earth did you manage this.” Wukong deadpanned. The other tables and chairs in the Noodle Shop had all been shoved to one side, leaving a large open space, just the perfect size for Tang to have set up a projector screen, as well as the projector itself. A quick glance to the side showed that the Noodle Shop’s sign had been flipped from ‘Open!’ to ‘Closed’. “Literally- I don’t think even 3 minutes passed just now, how did you do this.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve needed to do this.” Tang said, pulling out a laser pointer from… somewhere, about to click it on, before glancing back at Wukong and, seeming to think better of it, tossed the laser pointer over his shoulder (Wukong swore he didn’t hear it hit the ground, where the fuck did it go-), and pulling out a ruler instead (okay, there was no way he had been hiding THAT in a pocket, why did no one else think this was weird?). MK pulled up a chair next to Wukong and sat down beside him. Wukong spared him a glance, and upon seeing how the kid was focused on Tang, turned back to look at what seemed to be his impromptu teacher for the day. The projector flicked on, and Tang lightly tapped his ruler against the screen. “So, first of all, it seems we’re going to need to start from the beginning with what stimming is-”

-

Wukong sighed as he finally collapsed onto his couch again. Tang’s presentation about stimming had taken just about three hours. Thankfully, MK seemed to be fine with missing one day of training, as Wukong genuinely didn’t think he had the energy left in him to go over fighting techniques, and he especially no longer had the energy to have a half decent spar. 

Laying on his back, he stared up at the ceiling, slowly letting the information settle into his brain.

Okay. So. the motions- stimming, stimming wasn’t a bad thing. And, apparently, preventing himself from stimming was bad for him. (The others had been wrong, his friends, his family, they’d been wrong……. Would they have reacted differently, had they known all the information provided in Tang’s powerpoint? …He didn’t want to think about it too much).

Tang had also gone over multiple different kinds of stimming. Some of them Wukong had already known about, he’d used to do them all the time after all, while some were newer to him. (Apparently Macaque’s habit of chewing on his scarf counted as a stim? Wukong had simply assumed he’d done it out of pure habit, or as a replacement for chewing gum).

Letting out another, heavier, sigh, Wukong held his hands up in front of his face, studying them. Slowly sitting up, he started shaking and flapping his hands, mimicking the stimming he’d seen MK and Mei do earlier, memories of doing the same thing in the past appearing in his mind.

It felt…nice. Calming, almost. But it was also tiring, like it took effort to do, not as natural as breathing as he remembered it being, or how MK and Mei had made it look.

Not to mention the looming sense of tingles in a circle around his head.

He stopped, instead moving his hands to gently trace around his head, trying to soothe the feeling, before flopping backwards to be laying down again, feeling slightly drained from the effort, but still like there was a bit of restlessness that needed to be let out, after putting up with the emotional strain of the day. He couldn’t think of anything else he could attempt though-

The memories of when he had been on the couch earlier that afternoon slammed into him like a truck, and he rolled over, staring at the fabric of the couch in contemplation.

Slowly, he rubbed his hand over it, before doing the same with his other hand, deciding to use both hands for it this time. A rush of sensation flooded over his palms, and the only thing stopping him from digging his claws in to try and get more of the feeling was the knowledge that he’d end up tearing a hole in the fabric. This didn’t feel like it took nearly as much energy as the hand-shakey one did.

Soon, he found himself getting lost in the feeling again, hardly noticing when a purr of comfort started up in his chest.

This was… wonderful, actually.

Maybe he could try some other stims, see what stuck, maybe see if he could bring his old ones back, tomorrow.

…Right now though, just rubbing his hands back and forth against the fabric was more than enough.

Baby steps.

[baronessvonglitter]

Questions tag game!

merci beaucoup to @strang3lov3 for the tag!

Do you make your bed? Yes. Not always right after I get up, but definitely before I start whatever's on the agenda for the day.

Favorite number? I don't have one. I prefer letters over numbers.

What's your job? Classified. But the most time I ever spent at a job was at a library for almost 12 years.

If you could go back to school, would you? I waffle about it. But honestly I loved college and I'd definitely go back to further my education.

Can you parallel park? I have only achieved it once, during my driving test, and even then, the state trooper said, "Eh, good enough" So, essentially... no.

Do you think aliens are real? I've seen a couple of UFOs.. I saw a strange set of lights in the sky - four red lights perfectly parallel to one another, and then they vanished. Another time before that, I was watching the sky and saw a slow-moving dot of light. I figured it was a plane until it seemed to jump into hyperspace and zoomed upward, out of sight.

Can you drive a manual car? Listen, I like relaxing while I'm driving. If I have to worry about shifting gears and other nonsense, I'm not doing it. Automatic all the way, baby, zooming down the freeway at a whopping 50 miles per hour while blasting Duran Duran.

What's your guilty pleasure? I don't feel guilty about the things that bring me pleasure. But there are pleasures that I don't talk about often, and my main one is when fights break out between major league baseball teams. It just does something for me.

Tattoos? None (yet). I have a fear of needles. Also, I can't commit to the same nail polish within a day, so I don't want to put something on my body that would be there forever. Although I think it'd be hilarious to get the "Hiya Buddy" hot dog post-it from The Office tattooed on my hip or lower back.

Favorite color? Sunset colors: peach, lavender, magenta, violet. Also dark green, dark red, dark blue.

Do you like puzzles? Jigsaw yes, Sudoku no. Ooh I love crossword puzzles!

Any phobias? A lot. Needles, insects, the dark, probably too many to count. I can proudly flex, however, that I have zero fear of public speaking.

Favorite childhood sport? I was not an athletic child, but I did play tennis in high school and I really loved it. Still play from time to time.

Do you talk to yourself? I'm sure I do, but not often. I usually have TV or music on as background noise.

NPT: @604to647 @ashleyfilm @greenwitchfromthewoods @coolranchdavidian @untamedheart81 @shessweetsour

[footy-fictionist]

Is this it? - Julian Brandt

Pairing: Julian Brandt x female Schlotterbeck reader, Nico Schlotterbeck x sister reader, Karim Adeyemi x ex-girlfriend reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of fear of commitment/abandonment, reader is a student, little bit of fluff, nervousness, mentions of the game against Leipzig

Word count: 1281

Note: If this one works well, I will post more parts for this. As always, English is not my first language. I do not know any of the players personally, this is completely fictional. Let me know what you think, should there be a part 2 and maybe 3? Please do not copy or publish my work, reblogging is fine!

She swore off footballers after one of them broke her heart. She had been in a relationship with Karim for almost a year, when she found out he was cheating on her. He was her brother’s best friend and she had to convince Nico to forgive Karim, not being able to forgive herself if they wouldn’t be friends anymore. Even if that wasn’t something that would be seen as her fault, since it was Karim that screwed up big time. But for her it meant not going to games anymore and cutting off all the footballer friends she had made. She had to process everything and get over Karim before even considering going to a game and seeing other footballers again. 

Nico understood and never forced his sister to go anywhere. Everyone loved her though, so they were all a bit cold towards Karim the second they found out that she wasn’t going to be around anymore. Especially Julian, he was livid when he found out what Karim did. He would never admit it to anyone else, but he fell in love with her the second he met her. But he never showed it, because he would never try and ruin her happiness. He settled on just being her friend instead. If she was happy with Karim, he would accept that. He never expected her to cut off all contact and it hurt him more than he expected. 

It is the reason why it took him a long time to warm up to Karim again. Everyone else let it go once they saw that Nico didn’t take any further action. But Julian still held his grudge. It took weeks to warm up to Karim again and even then it was only small steps at a time.

It took her a few months to get over Karim. She enjoyed having almost zero contact with football, even if she missed some of the friends she made. She could completely focus on school and didn’t have any other distractions. Of course she watched the games for Nico, but she didn’t participate in anything else. She didn’t expect one footballer to jump back into her life though.

It was another day of classes and in the early morning she went to get her coffee at her favourite café in Dortmund. It was small but cozy and they knew her order by heart. After getting her drink, she thanks the barista before leaving the café, only to bump into someone. She manages to not spill anything but stumbles a little. The person helps stabilize her and she looks up to thank them. Only to find the eyes of Julian Brandt. The second they lock eyes, both of them send each other a bright smile. She puts her coffee on the small table that’s outside the café and immediately wraps her arms around his neck, his arms wrapping around her waist. 

“Oh my gosh Jule, I didn’t expect to see you here! I’m sorry for bumping into you, but also not sorry for bumping into you! How are you?”

Julian is thanking his lucky stars for bumping into her. He answers her whilst still holding her in his arms. They pull away and just talk for a few minutes. That is until she checks the time and sees she’s running late to class. She goes to say goodbye, but Julian can’t let her get away again, not now that he’s had contact with her again. 

“Please, please don’t cut contact again. I miss you.” He knows he sounds a little desperate, but he can’t help it. He won’t lose her again.

“I promise Jule. I didn’t realize it till I just bumped into you, but I really missed you too. A lot. I’ll text you. I have to go now, but I promise.”

And she does. The second she’s sat in her class she’s texting him. And it’s the restart of their friendship. Soon enough they’re talking everyday, both of them happy to have this much contact again. Smiles on their faces, that no one can get rid off. Nico asks her about the way she smiles at her phone, she just smiles at Nico and doesn’t really give him an answer. But it doesn’t bother him, because whoever it is, they’ve brought back the sparkle in her eyes. 

With Julian it shows in the way he plays on the field. He’s back to the skill level everyone was used to when he played for Leverkusen. He’s probably even better than he was back then. And she always finds a way to congratulate him on the way he played. He never saw her at the games though, but that is something he wanted to change. Not just the seeing her there part, but who she was supporting. But instead of just asking her, he sent her a box in the hope she’d understand what he was asking. A box with his jersey and a ticket to the game against Leipzig. The box arrived at her apartment whilst Nico was there with her. 

She didn’t expect a package but opened it nonetheless. She gasped when she saw the contents of the box, only making Nico curious. Whilst she was still processing what she saw and what Julian was asking, Nico looked into the box. When he saw the jersey with Brandt on the back, his eyebrows almost touched his hairline. So this was who was making her smile all the time, she got back into contact with Julian. And from the contents of this box, it wasn’t just regular contact.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

The question confuses her a little, as she’s still processing what Julian is asking of her. But then she realizes Nico is with her and that he just looked into the box. Her cheeks start to burn and she starts stuttering, trying to explain. Nico just smiles at her softly, knowing that she was scared. Scared to admit that she likes Julian, scared to get back into a relationship with one of his teammates. Scared of what he, their family and everyone else would say. 

“You know you don’t have to worry about me when it comes to things like this. I’ll give him hell if he hurts you, but if you like or love him, I won’t hold you back.”

She didn’t think Nico could make her cry over something like this. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted this, especially not after what happened with Karim. So she threw her arms around her brothers’ neck and started crying a little.

“I’m scared. What if he does, what Karim did? What if he ends up breaking my heart? I don’t think I can go through it a second time. I don’t care about Karim anymore, but what if this all backfires.”

So all Nico could do was hold her and try soothing her. He reassures her about everything, that even if it did happen, she wouldn’t be alone. But he didn’t think it would happen. He’s seen the way Julian looked at her when she was still with Karim. He knew back then that Julian was in love with her. No matter how bad he felt about it, he thought Julian was a better fit for her then Karim. So when Karim broke her heart, he was pissed, but also not surprised. He knew Karim wouldn’t be the one for her. So to see that she got back into contact with the boy that has loved her for ages and him finally shooting his shot, made Nico happy. 

“So, what are you gonna do? Will you accept what he’s asking of you?”

Part 2?

[helpful-hardware]

no one else is really talking about how the 'chains of harrow' quest ruins warframe entirely, so i'll add my rambling (if i misunderstood something let me know):

from the jump, it's obvious that rell is autistic. perhaps too obvious, as a minigame of sorts with emotion flash cards is used throughout the quest, really trying to drive home how he has a harder time recognizing and understanding emotions. oh, and he's implied to be a savant because of course he is. so many autistic characters that were written by allistic writers are stereotypical savants and it really annoys me.

also: there's a part in rell's flashbacks where he briefly asks to be "fixed" before his mom reminds him that he's "not broken". i honestly feel conflicted about this part because yes, autistic people need no cure and should have our differences accepted and understood, but the way it's brought up here rubs me the wrong way.

this flashback also makes palladino suggest that the "emotions he so often failed to grasp" are the key to restoring his humanity which-- okay. no one is EVER "less human" because they don't feel or understand emotions in the same way as other people. but that's what this quest seems to imply by that, and that's just not how you should talk about autistic people.

also rell's whole situation is being used for horror, adding onto a long line of tales made by neurotypicals where any mind deviating from the norm is something to be feared. speaking of that, here's the big plot point that pisses me off.

rell was on the zariman ten zero ship, along with the rest of the children who would become tenno. he was cast away by the rest of the children, and margulis for his "weirdness". this means that to some degree, your player controlled operator is COMPLICIT in ostracizing an autistic child and essentially leaving him to die.

this detail pisses me off so much that it made me uninstall the game. now okay, i'm not saying you can't write about autistic people dealing with ostracization and neurotypical bullshit, but the way it all was handled here is fucking awful. and since rell plays a crucial role in other lore details, this is something i can't just brush aside.

[patricide1885]

I remember seeing this music video a long time ago and feeling negatively about it because it portrays men being oppressed by an evil woman. Which I felt was reactionary and anti-feminist. Now my view is a little different and I'd like to talk about it a little.

I have more recently learned to view things with more nuance and be less inclined to see expressions of stuff like this in the context of a sort of false zero sum game and understand them as a valid expression of emotion without jumping further or viewing it as a political contradiction.

Basically the theme is that you have a bunch of poor guys who suffer in the mines all day (the 7 dwarves) in service to a massive gorgeous woman who they are obsessed with and who lives off their labor. She is abusive and callous to their suffering.

Obviously women don't actually have power in society over men, but they're also not 10 feet tall. I view this more as an emotional expression.

It is true that throughout history, men have been forced through capitalism to work hard at very unpleasant and often dangerous jobs. While women aren't forcing them to do this, for a huge chunk of men, women are their main motivation for working so hard. The traditional patriarchy demands that men be providers without complaining as that is what "men" do, and that's what men are supposed to offer women. Many men often feel very helpless, confused, don't understand what women are attracted to (also frankly, men are more likely to be visually attracted to more women than then the opposite ) and don't really know how to get women to actually want *them* rather than what they provide, meanwhile, their desire for women is huge and often overwhelming, as illustrated by Snow White being massive.

Women often are not empathetic to what men have to go through because they often see men as somehow intrinsically stronger and more resistant to suffering because society demands that men hide that. And there are many relationships out there where women are abusive to men and take advantage of them financially, even if it's less common than the opposite. So this represents a fear that a lot of men have. The reason why so many guys are into femdom and are (from the outside view) ridiculously defensive against "gold diggers". Some men have only had attention from women who were trying to take advantage of them that way because 1. Women rarely hit on men and 2. The guy might not have any other obvious positive traits that women would be attracted to. 3. Women who are looking for financial stability are often very loud about it and are more open to guys they wouldn't be interested in otherwise in order to get it. 4. Many men are attracted to women out of their league, who might only give them the time of day if they can provide for them financially. And so on. So it creates a fear.

I have seen guys play into this trap. To me it's a little ridiculous because I would never tolerate it, I'd be alone rather than have a woman be with me just because I can provide for her. I look down on women who are incompetent and try to stay in a traditional adult child role and refuse to develop competence. I have a strong view that men and women should be equal in a relationship, and I would not see a relationship where a woman wasn't into my personality and appearance as a valid one to begin with, whereas, there are men out there for whom nothing else has been experienced and nothing else is expected.

My deeper point here is that, for example, I will call women out for weaponizing the patriarchy against say, disabled men, black men, homeless men etc and a lot of the time people will get visibly uncomfortable that I'm doing that, and will confirm that "you do realize that men will use these things as an excuse to be misogynistic at times, right?" Obviously! Both are true! But when you bring these things up people automatically assume a zero sum game where some group is always bad and some group is always good (even if both groups are oppressed and oppressed by each other). There is no flexible dialogue that represents reality as a whole because it's too scary to analyze all aspects of things and people assume that if you say that something is a problem that women do to others you are against women.

Or if you are even just honestly exploring a phenomenon/emotion that isn't a reflection of who actually has power in society (ie. This music video), all ability to handle that without being afraid goes out the door for some people. Like it did for me when I first watched this music video.

I think this is a problem and we need to be stronger and find ways to trust each other more and interact with empathy and solidarity rather than lean into black and white thinking for safety and feel unsafe when asked to not interact with the world in a black or white way. I am tired of people villainizing and being afraid of the complexities of life and even just emotions being expressed, even if they aren't actually a statement of systemic power structures. Emotions can exist and be worth empathizing with on an individual level. Not everything is an offensive (as in, on offense) political statement of the broader society meant to punch down everyone else. Society isn't and shouldn't be a reductionist zero sum game.

I don't think I expressed myself well here, but I did my best.

If I took this attitude into therapy with male clients I would get nowhere, and I think without the ability to have nuance and feeling constantly threatened by deploying nuance and empathy one is just totally ineffective in general. It leads to a fearful, fragile and culty mindset that prevents other people from being able to connect with you with solidarity because they see that you view things as a zero sum game. We have to be able to view things as they are, on multiple planes and levels, and with self confidence that empathizing with someone else doesn't inherently undermine yourself.

[wyldblunt]

hi personal post just under a cut, it's not even serious or negative or anything i just feel like blabbering and it's embarrassing to have it out in the open lol

i NEED......... to get over how shy i am abt playing w ppl in game... it's not even just Running Content, i mean i get anxious/shy about even just. goofing around aimlessly/map completing with anyone i haven't known for literally years. or who i am not literally married to.

idk what it is!!! my brain immediately kicks into overdrive and gets completely clogged up with "am i not talking enough. are they getting bored. am i moving too fast/slow. i don't know what to do. this is stressing me out" and i have zero idea how to stop myself from getting like that. literally yesterday (SORRY IF THIS WAS YOU??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE NICE FWIW) someone came up to me and marina in game and said hi nicely and asked what we were up to and i like. Answered Once, and then did not talk again the whole time, and we sort of ran around together for a bit until i kind of lost track of them but the ENTIRE TIME i was agonizing over "am i being totally unfriendly and weird by not chatting. am i coming off like i want them to go away or just generally like an asshole" and as you can see i am also still agonizing about it now. even though objectively it was probably completely fine.

and EVEN WITH very good friends i've known for a long time i clam up like that... when i was trying to get into ffxiv some very good friends stopped by to give me stuff/say hi to my character etc and i got the exact same way!!! ppl i literally talk to all the time on twitter etc but then the second we're behind in game avatars i just get stressed out and start feeling super awkward and aside from like. jumping in place a few times suddenly forget literally every single thing i have ever known about human socialization

but it's dumb!!! and i'm so over it!!!! i wanna run dungeons and fractals and stuff, i even wanna scrape a group together to kind of activate my old guild again and claim a guild hall, stuff like that... and i KNOW the tumblr community is a great way to do that bc u guys are all so friendly and chill and it's way better than trying to throw myself into pugs or whatever. but oh my god. my fucking BRAIN, man

as i type this all out i do wonder if maybe a solution would be getting on voice chat w ppl while trying to play stuff together bc i truly feel like 90% of my anxiety comes from "i cannot type in chat and play at the same time, therefore i get super overwhelmed and confused about how to communicate naturally" and i feel like vc would solve that. but uh. if anyone does not mind sometimes running content with a guy who will probably be mostly silent and weird the whole time (the real glyndwr experience!!!!) please feel free to hit me up and i will get back to u between three and six billion business days

EDIT adding on more bc im still thinking lol. i just have a huge huge fear of coming off like a dick or like im unfriendly or something. ppl have constantly told me im intimidating for ages and it hurts my feelings and i get really antsy about it (this is why i never play reblog games abt like "rate how intimidating the person u reblogged from is" etc bc if anyone actually said they were scared of me i would get sad for real lol!!!). i naturally usually have a kind of flat/dry affect online and i make friends slowly, and i don't feel like changing how i express myself bc it's natural to me but. agh!!!! agh!!!! my wittle feelings!!!!!!