#I also hate the ending but I needed to force myself to end it to get myself in the habit of finishing things
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A brat and a boss
Paige Bueckers x reader
Summary: your attitude gets you in trouble with your mafia boss girlfriend. Oh and Paige has a dick.
A/n: this one is my most rough one yet so be prepared for some bullying and degradation guys! Also if this gets enough attention I’ll do a part 2

Rule number one, don’t push her buttons. That’s all you had to do right? But oh gosh it’s hard to not want to crawl around on Paige the whole day. You knew that she was in a meeting. You knew what her job entailed when you agreed to be her baby. The only thing you care about is not getting her undivided attention. You practically bounce into her office and before you can even stomp your foot all eyes on you. You’re the mafia’s brat. No one would dare say anything to you because Paige already made it clear that things wouldn’t be pretty if they voiced their dislike.
“Doll, what are you doing in here?” Paige reserved that tone only for you, she wasn’t that soothing with anyone else. “Want you” without another word you were sitting proudly on her lap like the princess you were. Paige continued her conversation as she rubbed your back in comforting circles. A few minutes passed by and you were already restless. “Stop it.” Paige whispered in your ear with the strict energy that you love so much. If anyone else gave you such disciplinary action you’d go off the deep end but because it was Paige Bueckers you took every last ounce of her sternness like a prize you won.
Your lower lip fell out and you whined. It didn’t help that you were ovulating and every move she made was so naturally attractive. You made the decision to keep being a little mischievous, she’d be alright. You squirmed against her cock just enough to let her feel your crotch through your skirt. Paige looked at you with a daring stare. You wanted to give in to her orders but at the same time you needed her so badly it hurt.
You had an idea if she wasn’t going to give you attention you’d make her. You brought your hand down under her desk and pawed at her dick gently. Paige groaned and her men knew not to say a word about it. “Baby if you don’t stop I’m going to kick you off my lap” that made you want to cry, god forbid a girl want some dick. You felt it underneath you, her hard on poking you. ‘I want to hate you’ you thought to yourself. Paige still had about an hour left in her meeting, what guns and drugs could be so much more important than you. You got up, forced your skirt down, and walked out. You didn’t forget to slam the door behind you. You were needy and pissed off and you hoped she was too.
You frustratedly opened the bedroom side table and gave your favorite vibrator. “I’ll just do it myself..” you muttered under your breath. “Oh no you won’t.” Paige stood there, tall and lean against the door frame. Her blue eyes glared into you like you were prey. Her teeth were even gritting together. With your one track brain of course you noticed the tent in her pants. She approached the bed with silence and it made you shiver, with excitement and fear. “You fucking brat!” You said and you knew right then your pussy and ass was going to be raw by the end of the night. “I’m sorry daddy I just-“ Paige grabbed your jaw. “Ok, here’s how tonight is going to go, you aren’t going to make a goddamn peep until I say so.” Paige said something so rough so beautifully. “Don’t get your hopes up that you’ll cum tonight at all, my meeting was too stressful to deal with a brat like you” you whimpered barely but the blonde caught it. She grabbed your face and put your cheeks together. “What the fuck did I say?” And you repeat it back to her. “I would say good girl but you definitely haven’t earned that yet”
“Over my lap, now.” Her blue eyes looked so cold it sent shivers down your spine, you shouldn’t be wet from this right? Her slender fingers came to caress your covered bottom. “Pretty skirt, take it off” she could say anything and you’d internally swoon. You slipped it down your hips and thighs, trying to prepare yourself for what’s coming.
“No panties? You really are a whore huh?” Paige laughed at you so condescendingly you had to hold in a whine. When the first smack fell upon your left cheek you jolted. She seemed to have left the number of future spanks unknown to you on purpose. Her hard cock pressed into you and you started to tear up. Multiple more spanks came through, each one with space between so it was unpredictable. You wanted to kick your legs but you knew better.
Your goal is to convince her to let you cum today. You didn’t give you time to adjust before she threw you on your knees. Her strength was one of your favorite qualities. “Blow. Me.” She said, how is she still so mad? You questioned mentally. You brought your hands up to undo her pants. When you took off her boxers you sighed in contentment.
This is what you wanted. “I am going to fuck your face and you are going to tap my thigh if you need a break” Paige said dirty commands like they’re a fact of life. Her thickness filled your mouth and she held back a smile. “There ya go” she spoke with a grunt. She didn’t give you much time to adjust because she shoved it further into your throat. “Daddy!” You almost got out before she slammed back in after letting up a second. “Come on you can take it baby” her whine made all of your body flutter.
You needed to make her cum. You used your tongue to circle around her length and she threw her head back. She gripped your hair and pushed you down. “To be a brat you have such a good mouth” she said in between moans. The wetness between your thighs was so slick it made it hard not to move too much. “Make daddy cum, be good” it didn’t take long with your skilled mouth to make her spill her load on your tongue. “Swallow” and you obeyed.
“Good girl!” She said cheerfully with condescension lacing her voice. You were still in trouble. “I want you on that bed with your legs spread” the blonde woman brought her hand down to your cunt. “Aw she’s pretty and wet ain’t she?” Paige said, making you bite your lips. “I want her red and raw” before you could form a thought she had a finger inside of you. You didn’t know if you were still not allowed to speak so you covered your mouth. “You can moan but no words unless it’s a thank you” Paige knew because she knew you like a map.
Wet noises filled the room as she degraded you. “You should be grateful I even spend time on this pussy” her voice still had roughness behind it. Your sensitivity made it so easy for you to be ready. “Mm-mm” you cried and Paige knew that specific sound from your throat meant you were close. She stopped. You had a tear or two streaming down your blushed cheeks and she kissed them. “There’s more tears coming baby trust me” her pink lips in a fake pout taunted you.
Her cock slapped your cunt and you half smiled and half frowned. “Thank you daddy” you said practically reaching for her to come closer. She slammed into you like her world depended on it, you are her world. She groaned as she felt just how wet you were. “Hi baby” her blue eyes looked at you while she moved your legs around her waist. “Mhmm” you nodded at her. “You’ve been good you can cum whenever you feel like it” when she started moving around you thought you saw a goddess above you. “Thank you, thank you, thank you” you whimpered helplessly. “You deserve it my bratty girl” Paige pampered you with face kisses. “Uh-huh” you said as your body shook. “Just like that princess” she smiled. “I’m getting close too” her skin was flushed pink and she was slightly sweaty. How does she have this much stamina?
“Oh fuck-“ the blonde groaned and you whined. You came together. With her you don’t even care she doesn’t pull out. You both take the time to catch your breath. Her phone rings and after a few minutes into cuddle time. “Ugh oh my god” she picks up and her face turns to confusion. “Who’s here to see me?” You heard her assistant say “just come quick”.
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OK here's my rant...
1. It’s completely okay to support Nicola and Jake and find them adorable. It doesn’t make you weird to enjoy seeing cute photos of them or to be happy for them. You’re not hurting anyone by liking them as a couple. Supporting Jake’s work after being introduced to him through Nicola is also fine. That doesn’t make you a fake fan. It just means you discovered someone new and ended up liking what they bring to the table.
2. If you’re a fan of only Nicola and don’t really care about Jake, that’s also valid. You’re not less of a fan for staying focused on her. As long as you’re respectful, you’re doing just fine.
3. You can like Nicola and Jake and still like Luke. There is zero competition between them. No one is being forced to pick sides. Liking one doesn’t cancel out the others. You can also stan Luke and NOT hate on Jake or the people who like him.
4. Just because some fans are unbearable and thrive on drama does not mean you have to start hating the person they stan. The worst fans don’t represent the people they obsess over. You don’t need to mirror that energy.
5. I consider myself primarily a Nicola fan, but over time I’ve come to really like Jake too. I love seeing them together and I like them as individuals. I honestly don’t care who thinks that’s strange. I’m not making up conspiracies. I’m not trashing anyone involved. I also like seeing Luke and Antonia together and think they’re cute. No amount of fan wars or petty drama is going to change how I feel about any of them.
But FUCK the people who lie and launch defamation campaigns against real people just because they are miserable, bored losers whose only excitement in life comes from starting drama online. Yeah those people can go to hell.
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4. Broken
Summary: Joel breaks his arm and despite it being very obvious to Jimmy, Joel still tries to hide it.
Word Count: 1146
Warnings: Broken bone, fear, and anger
AO3 Link
Alright, slowly catching up! I actually ended up scrapping the original idea for this one and wrote this all within the last couple of hours. And I gotta say, I like this one way better!
I hope you guys enjoy!
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“Joel, your arm is clearly broken.” Jimmy said with a deep frown. He had heard the small cry of pain from the other room and had practically sprinted to find Joel sitting on the floor of the living room and clutching his arm. And Jimmy knew Joel had been on the coffee table when he had left the room, so clearly, somehow, Joel had fallen and managed to land on his arm.
Jimmy had scooped him up right away despite Joel’s protests, making sure he was careful to not touch or nudge his hurt arm at all. He set him down on the couch and kneeled in front of it to try and get a better look at it. But Joel was stubborn and was moving his body away from Jimmy, claiming that he was fine.
If Jimmy wasn’t so concerned, he’d be really annoyed right now.
“I’m fine. I don’t need you hovering over me, I can handle my arm being a little achy.” Joel said and then twitched his arm without meaning to and winced, barely biting back a whimper of pain. Jimmy sighed and ran a hand over his face.
“Joel, you’re hurt. You don’t have to pretend like you aren’t.” This was not the first time Jimmy had said something like this to Joel. Joel seemed to always lie about how he was feeling, mostly physically but Jimmy was starting to suspect he was also lying about how he felt mentally and emotionally at times as well. Jimmy had no idea why though.
Of course, Joel really had been able to hide his injuries well enough before. They had never been this bad. Jimmy could see, even with Joel trying to hide it from his sight, that Joel’s arm was bent in a way that had Jimmy feeling a bit sick. It was broken, no way around it and Jimmy was not about to let Joel continue to be hurt because he had some weird thing about others seeing him hurt or vulnerable or whatever it was.
“I’m not pretending. I’m fine.” Joel repeated through gritted teeth, not looking Jimmy in the eyes.
“Joel-”
“No! Just leave me alone, I can take care of myself.” Joel bit back, cutting Jimmy off. His eyes widened for a moment at the sudden anger that was now being directed at him.
Jimmy closed his eyes, a sinking feeling filling his chest. He always tried his hardest to never do anything Joel didn’t want to do. He hated the idea of forcing the human to do things like that. He considered Joel his friend, maybe even his best friend, and treating someone like that was not the way to maintain that friendship.
All that being said…this was something Jimmy couldn’t ignore. Joel’s arm was broken. If they didn’t do something about it, it would heal all wrong or not heal at all. They needed to get it checked out. Joel would never agree to it though and that’s what had Jimmy feeling bad. Because despite Joel’s thoughts on it, Jimmy was really left with no choice.
“I’m calling Grian.” Jimmy said, making up his mind and already pulling his phone out. Joel was startled out of his anger, whipping his head to face Jimmy and wincing again when that action pulled at his shoulder and arm.
“What?! No! I-I’m fine! You don’t have to call-” Joel’s face went pale as Grian picked up the phone, his voice coming out of the speaker.
“Hello?” Grian answered.
“Hey, Grian, sorry to bother you but would you be able to come over? I think Joel might have broken his arm.” Jimmy explained, quick and to the point to hopefully counteract any of Grian’s normal teasing.
There was a bit of silence on the other end as Grian processed what Jimmy said and then he snorted. “Seriously? How did he manage that?”
Jimmy frowned. “He fell off the coffee table.” Jimmy glanced at Joel, only to see the human was starting to move away. Jimmy bit his lip but moved and cupped his free hand around Joel, effectively stopping him from any sort of escape. Joel let out a yell of surprise and banged his fist, the one connected to his unhurt arm, against Jimmy’s hand but Jimmy barely even felt it.
“Of course. Alright, I’ll be over in about an hour. I gotta go get my tools.” Grian said and Jimmy didn’t miss the way Joel shivered when Grian mentioned his tools, though he was confused by it.
“Thanks, Grian. Appreciate it.” Jimmy said.
Grian hummed. “Yeah, just make sure Joel doesn’t do anything that would hurt it further. I don’t really want to perform an amputation on a human today.” Grian was very clearly only joking, though that didn't stop Jimmy from feeling another shiver from Joel.
“I know. See you soon.” Jimmy said, wanting this conversation to be done with.
“See ya.” Grian said and with that, Jimmy hung up the phone.
“What the hell, Jimmy?!” Joel yelled and Jimmy moved his hand a bit in order to see Joel better. He was still pale and shaking even more now and Jimmy wasn’t so sure it was all due to the pain. “I told you I was fine! I don’t-I don’t need Grian to-” Joel kept cutting himself off, stuttering and throwing out Grian’s name like the word itself was poison.
“Grian is gonna help you. That’s all he wants. That’s all I want.” Jimmy said, trying to be reassuring. He had no idea why Joel had this apprehension toward his brother but it was starting to concern Jimmy a bit too much.
“I doubt that’s all he wants…” Joel mumbled to himself though Jimmy clearly heard it.
“What?” Jimmy asked but Joel just huffed.
“I told you I never wanted to see him again!” Joel shouted.
“And I still don’t understand why.” Jimmy said back, more confused than anything. “Obviously you were always gonna have to see him again. Not only is he my brother but he’s your primary doctor.” Being a certified human expert, Grian had several humans under his charge and Joel was only one of them.
Joel hunched his shoulders, ignoring the pain that came with doing that. He remained silent, refusing to meet Jimmy’s eyes again.
Jimmy sighed and carefully scooped Joel back up in his hands. “Alright, don’t tell me then.” Maybe Grian would have some sort of idea why Joel seemed to not like him. “Come on, let’s prepare for when Grian gets here.”
As he got up and started getting ready and clearing out space, Jimmy could only silently wonder what could have happened to make Joel act like this toward his brother. It just didn’t make any sense. After all, Grian was the one who had found and saved Joel from that barren planet in the first place…
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Today started out so good why the fuck did it need to 180 on me. Fuck off.
#my ex best friend ended our friendship a year after my sister passed over a fucking fb message#and then i bump into her in town with her partner that i hate (still the same cunt)#my mood has drastically skyrocketed to shit and i'm not doing well#the only reason we briefly spoke is because i was with my mum (was basically like a second mum to her)#so i was forced to endure fake fucking masking bullshit#i've been spiralling for the last hour straight#i either need a smoke or to be euthanized and i'm all outta smoke SOO#i also didn't notice how hard i was digging my nails into my skin to stop myself from dissociating
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IW fr just felt like yokoyama's cope for killing Aoki off and then regretting it
im not saying yoko shouldve ryuji'd aoki but im just saying maybe the aoki-lives truthers were onto something if not copium but serving a warning for what was to come
#iw spoilers#spoilers#not really but shut up#snap chats#actually no shut up ill make those tags valid#LIIIIKKKEEEEEE EIJI WAS DONE WELL AS A MASATO-ADJACENT CHARACTER#why make ebina .......... i hate him so much ........... yoko it is not 2009 anymore who is this deviantART-oc-backstory ass mfer#why not even have ichi interact with him more or have him fight ebina ...#if yu really had to fuck it have kiryu and ichi fight ebina together idc just#with ichi's core being about family its so fucking bizarre ichi never gets to properly interact With His Family#IM NOT GETTING INTO THIS RANT FUCK OFF#there's just ... so much that could've been done differently that wouldve worked so much more interestingly .... im angry now ...#im gonna drink this tea ...#cyborg aoki wouldve been so funny but also so unnecessary#he just got shanked like. fuck if i know where brb#no i need to stop because im literally going to sit here and do an autopsy report if i dont force myself to put it to rest#anyways i dont think aoki should be brought back and with this game ending i at least hope they put him to rest now#i was happy with what the ending with eiji provided like FINE that was sweet#im still pissed that kume was just. brushed aside like that like can i at least watch his arrest ........ if i cant kill him myself ......
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It makes me upset to see people calling AI stupid or just straight up saying "fuck AI" (even though it's in an art context) because it's like... I know and understand that the hate is directed at how it's being used currently and that people maybe just don't care like I do about this but it's upsetting because that's WORK. Not in a monetary sense at all but what everyone knows as AI didn't just sprout from the ground one day, it's decades of dedication and learning and development and collaboration to make a tool with the intention of making life better regardless of any one individual's intentions and it just makes me sad that there's so much panic around it, both from the whole "being replaced" thing that comes from waaay way back and also the very real concerns regarding generative AI. Like I can't just go up to someone and say "hey, isn't this cool?!" and expect them to understand I'm talking about AI as a tool and a product of passion and collaboration over time rather than a quick easy fix for when you want to see yourself as an anime character without having to learn to respect art first. I don't knowww it just makes me so so sad that something so beautiful is viewed in such a negative and strange light because the entire world refuses to slow down for a single second
#diary#it's also the fact that most people don't have any particular interest in cs#like nothing beyond ''we're in the future :o'' and it's not something you can force because that's how you get people being adverse#to anything ever#I feel like anything to do with technology is so sensationalized that people see it as ''something difficult'' and leave it at that#it has a lot to do with math in particular being regarded as a Superior show of intelligence even today and it has always been#sooo incredibly fucked up to me.#cause the amount of people at school that would treat me like an alien just cause I liked math / anything puzzle-y is INSANE#for example I have no fucking clue how most things work. like in general. so I really admire people who are good or invested in those thing#but I hate to think that any field or development is comparable to Magic or super estranged from myself or anything like that#because SOMEONE DID THAT. everything you know was worked for#and stopping to think about someone's work only to end up talking about it like it's magical or impossible#feels like a massive disrespect towards them. it's not impossible. someone worked hard to make it possible.#but I understand that stopping to consider these things is not something everyone can afford to do or even want to do#I'm a very slow person in general to the point I want to spend as long as possible looking at every part of anything I find interesting#but I just can't do that because there's other things I need to do. and it's the same for everyone else#tldr WHY ARE WE GOING SO FUCKING FAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry about my ramble. you are my mutual and you love me <- indoctrination btw
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oooo yay its my bday i just hit the big two four!!! so if you see my age in bio change you know whats up. uhh book update for the five people who are interested, i hit 33k words a few days ago and im having a blast writing it!! i still have a long way to go before its finished, i estimate the rough draft alone will take about a year to finish. but yeah the purpose of this post is to do a small poll—
i was thinking, that mayhaps, i could share a scene or two that i particularly liked or made me laugh every chapter to few chapters or so on this account? i wanted to ask before i do it because i know yall followed me for fanfic and i dont wanna clog anyones dash. however, it would be a way for me to share parts of my writing still (not doing so is making me insane ill write a scene and want to paul revere it so bad because i love it sm) and remain active on this account
#yall dont even KNOW how bad i wanna post the full thing but i gotta stay strong#im crafting these freaks out of clay and i need the world to know#that said it would make publishing harder unless i went the indie route at the end and i may beat myself with a brick in a year for posting#and i HAAAAVE to consider that unfortunately#ao3 calls but making a genuine life out of something i enjoy calls harder#the dollar general evil spirit that follows me around on every shift and drains my life force has been attacking so much recently#also tbr if anyone is deadass interested in reading what i got….. my dms are open i could link u to my google docs#make new friends and share my little gay stories in one fell swoop#man idk im just rambling atp im on break at work rn#no thoughts head empty#if anyone has any other ideas lmk i did consider a discord server for my friends who i am showing or something that i could just#have a public link to??? but i hate modding#idk if people are interested i could suck it up#MAN IDK#THOG JUST A GUY#thank u for reading this ily
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...
#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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16 classmates means 256 potential dynamics to explore if we only consider 1 on 1 interactions (which i will! ...until this sentence ends) and that means 256 drawings. considering that group interactions exist and it can be any combo that is... a way larger number.
i have 2 hands, 0 time and too much ambition!!
haha! oh no.
#i would like to live my life and also fundematally tear apart my hpfxtn from the inside out and roll in its guts#that's not really possible unfortunately#because TIME#bitches love to hate on me for “quality over quantity uwu” which is valid as FUCK babe you do you#i need to do me and me wants to be engulfed in the concept of interaction. yes specifically through ship art.#that means gotta go fast.#as in. i get told a lot i should not try to improve my drawing speed because i draw fast enough. they fail to consider that i want to!!!!#my brain is an enigma to me too im a barely functioning human if me having social competence comes in the form of free art then#my therapist is gonna make so much fun of me i guess#/lh#mind you. this here talking to myself? this is all silly bullshit ego. i know very well whatever i WANT to do ill end up drawing koquichechi#“ok me we made a plan to practice drawing subtle understated emotions with charact-” “what if we drew koquichechi slapstick instead”#“but the PLAN??” “look at that. it's koquichechi.”#and then i babysit myself into FORCING myself to draw shit i want to draw and would enjoy drawing but it takes SO LONG#an doing things that take time *takes time*. outrageous. how dare you. i hate it. (bla bla bla time is an illusion i KNOW)#and im still figuring out subtle. groooooaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!!!!#eh whatevs!#whether i make ANY of my bullshit projects real or not what matters is having fun with it before i die /lh#its gonna be okay#*yearning* i just think itd be cool!!#shut up maiora#rambling#i get threatened with violence constantly by art friends. they're so completely right.#anyway tell me all about your rare-pairs if you want!! i might scribble em in my free time :>#(use the ask box)#(yes platonic too!)#(i think itd be fun 👉👈)#(i wanna hear people's thoughts!!)#(might be done in pencil ^^')#(im getting distracted HAVE A NICE DAY BUHBYE)
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is there any possible way to brute-force vriska into positive character development
#WARNING: endless yapping in the tags#am trying to write a fic. am currently stuck on what to do with vriska#there's no sgrub but i want to keep the whole revenge cycle because its so compelling. yes i know it doesnt make sense without the game#constructs like doc scratch being present. my excuse is uhhhhh idc#in any case. as satisfying as it is for many (including myself) to see vriska get beat to shit by aradia in [s] make her pay it basically#does nothing but reinforce vriska's might makes right worldview#also she got tiger afterwards so like. no consequences really#she doesnt even hate aradia or anything afterward. she hated aradia for being boring and dead but was cool with her beating her up#i read a post recently that basically put it as vriska being unable to understand why her friends don't want to be friends with her anymore#after she kills and maims them because SHE is perfectly fine remaining friends with them after they kill and maim her#and i really wonder if part of it is because she never experienced permanent consequences for her actions? because of the way that fate was#supposed to swing for the purposes of sgrub and stable time loops and shit she ends up 1: getting robo replacement parts 2: god tier and 3:#dream bubble afterlife. and besides nobody in homestuck stays dead its a whole thing#and she doesn't even get to be shunned by her friends because theyre forced to work together to win sgrub#and this is how it all needs to be for the timeline to work out and all that#therefore in a world where there is no game and death is permanent would vriska end up feeling the brunt of her shitty actions and their#consequences more acutely? would being forced to undergo some of the shit she imposed on others (no matter the motive) give her some#perspective? walk a while in another's shoes and all that#i think that maybe if vriska experienced real consequences even if its just the whole loss of limbs thing that might change her character a#little bit#it might not fix her. but it might do something#maybe it pushes her even further into the mentality that has her fighting against the whole world to assert her status as the bestso she ca#comfortably sate her ego. maybe its the opposite. i really don't know. halp#(also im assuming for this situation that nothing meaningful has changed about alternia or the alternian empire and the system that these#kids live under. because its my fic and i get to choose the worldbuilding)#so tavros aradia terezi etc. situations alongside vriska's are even more precarious because the threat of culling is actually real and not#easily escaped when they enter the game. would that situation make her wisen up a little to the pain she put her friends through#or again just push her further into that good ol alternian might is right mentality#maybe it depends on whether spidermom is still around and still mentally abusing and eating children. can't discount spidermom#and the whole hemospectrum thing also makes it easier for higher bloods like vriska and terezi to survive life-altering injuries like the
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=3=
#anyyay vagueposting about my problems again dont mind this too much =w=bb it is 11pm these thoughts arent real#im handeling it better and better slowly and being forced to talk about it next monday helps i think.#wont be able to ignore it etc like i want to. it would be sooo much easier. but i shant. not this time.#like actually im asking my counselor to force me to talk about it becuase its something that is so deep and important to me.#aka now especially with school ending it can not leave my mind :333 which is kind of good bc again. this is important.#and i need to think about it a lot to handle it well. ive already figured out some stuff.#i am glad. i hope together with my counselor i can handle it well and in a way i can let it rest for myself.#and maybe we'll start again. thatd be nice.#im mainly using this post to relieve some pressure bc this is just soso internally bottled up.#i want to say a lot of stuff but i dont think i can fully trust myself. also its a little pathetic to do so on tumblr notes.#sillyposting#fuck i hate having feelings and thoughts this shit fucking sucks. i hate being forced to grow yet look back and reflect.#..............#if youre seeing this somehow. give me a week please. i want to get back. im just scared and overwhelmed on what to say.#i havent even read the messages. nor the ones before. its selfish but i hope you can wait. im already thankfull that you have
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vent cw and self harm mention in the tags
i hate this goddmn hellpit of a world and i particularly hate men. like jesus fucking christ they ALL REALLY think they are just. better than me.
#even when. or actually particularly when they don't understand why im doing something#i want to rip my hair out and set things on fire and .#i feel really really fuckinh stressed im under enormous pressure and i have very little support on a personal level.#its this inescapable fucking thing.#this volunteer work im doing. im disabled and im working for free and everyone is telling me how i fucked up by trying to make sure#that we werent doing illegal shit.#as a registered entity.#like. fuck all of these people genuinely.#its making me doubt myself somewhat but also like#i spoke up about these concerns and none of them had a serious answer for me that would actually be reliable long term.#and its a long term project.#and then they bailed on it on top of that#i hate these people. i really really hate them.#deeply hypocritical confused unserious attitudes. deeply unhelpful and completely unaware of it. they make me sick.#i mean they are making me sick in real life i am suffering because of the lack of support and the bullshit they keep repeating to me#and how they portrayed this volunteer work when they were leaving their positions#so now others are less likely to take the positions because they talked shit about it#and i don't want to aggravate myself by getting into arguments with them but god i hope that one day they fucking understand.#how thoughtless and careless they'd been.#im having such a bad time and im fighting so hard. i don't know how im going to get through this.#my personal life is falling apart i don't have the energy to clean my home or take care of myself#ive noticed self harming inclinations popping up lately.#like this is really not good.#but if i don't pull through then they'll all blame me forever and i cant handle having to move away.#this is my home.#i already have a hard time going outside i don't want to be known as the person who fucked up the [community project that was forced on us]#fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. i need this to be over with. please i need this to be over sooner than i expect. i need this to end favorably#not just for my sake but because its a genuinely important project. i believe in it and its important to me personally too#i cant explain that without saying more than im comfortable with but yeah#god like i finally want to live and now im having to go through this? why? am i bad? or the world is bad.
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future problems — coriolanus snow x fem!wife!reader
hi everyone :) jumping on the bandwagon
this man is so fine i couldn’t help myself. i hope everyone had an amazing holiday if they celebrate — i celebrate christmas, so here is my almost 10k word christmas gift to all of you xoxo love u all v much thank you for reading !!
as always, warnings: corio-lame-o is a fucking warning holy fuck, smuuuuut, arranged marriage (i think this counts?), coriolanus is a distrustful evil fuck (but he’s super hot), fem!reader, reader is married to this dickhead (i say as if i wouldn’t want to be lmao), angst, sexism and misogyny is def in here, p in v penetration, m receiving oral, choking, dom!corio, asshole!corio, sub!reader, subspace kinda
informal warnings: bro what the fuck was i on this is literally 10.2k words and i refuse to edit because im super lazy anyway we die like men you've been warned
anyways… here is future problems:
he never wanted to get married.
he saw it as a potential problem, one that would most definitely lead to loose ends — and he hated loose ends.
despised them.
however, his innate need to maintain an image was far more important to him. he weighed the costs and benefits in his head like an algorithm — check, check, check. coriolanus’ mind left no stone unturned, especially when future problems were to be squashed before they could ever be wiped from memory. in the end… he decided he would marry.
and it would be you.
he never allowed himself to be naive — so he would never allow himself to marry someone he already loved. lucy gray? a child’s want for something they can’t have, and something they wouldn’t realize until later that it was a walking regret. no — he could never marry someone that would harm him. absolutely not. out of the question. therefore, it had to be you.
it had to be you because what harm would you cause him? you were shy, quiet, of satisfactory social standing, and uncontroversial. everything a patriarch of the snow family would want. deserved. be entitled to.
he needed someone that wouldn’t be a problem — a loose end in the future. he had conquered so much — he refused to let anything else, especially as irrelevant as a significant other, stand in his way.
however… it did not aid him in his stone-cold lack of a love affair conquest that you were absolutely breathtaking.
at first, it was just an ego boost. he simply couldn’t stop his thoughts from voicing, of course she’s perfect. the snow legacy can only have perfect.
but then… oh, then…
then he saw your smile.
oh, your smile.
your fucking smile.
the first time he caught himself enjoying it — he scolded himself. he refused to see you for a week. a punishment of sorts. more so for him than for you. after, he refused to let his eyes wander on the pretty features of your face for him to witness a reaction to something someone had said or done. he didn’t want to be reminded of what it was like to experience joy or peace because someone else was experiencing it — that was what almost costed him everything he had built.
no one would ever tear that down. not again, not ever.
no one.
when the day of your marriage came, it was business as usual. he refused to meet eye contact, and did not partake in more conversations with you than he had to. he could tell you felt uncomfortable — but he forced himself not to care. he drove it down, down, down like a miner drilling for more coal — hoping, one day, it would be worth it.
and it was… until he was sick.
it was a minor ailment — nothing major, but he was on bedrest for about a week or two. he had employed enough adequate members to his staff to feel that things would at least be taken care of until then. he also found comfort in the fact that two weeks was not long enough for something irreversible to occur. if a problem had taken placed, he would be able to rectify it once he was well and able and… set aside the responsible party.
however, he did not expect one problem.
and that would be you.
he knew you were asking to see him. he knew, he knew, he knew, but he refused to let you in. you were not disrespectful — you had only asked once a day, which happened to be every day in the afternoon. he had picked you specifically because you were too quiet to be annoying. however, his own perfect, pristine, and proper plan had stabbed him in the back. he had never considered that the perfect, pristine, and proper wife would be this dutiful to him, checking in once a day on his condition and to speak with him. despite his illness, he laughed at himself — leave it to him to not expect the expected: the hand-selected dutiful wife would, in fact, be dutiful.
he had to put an end to it. he couldn’t keep saying no for another week. how was he expected to get better if you kept bothering him?
so he let you in. this once. just this once. he reasoned that if he let you in this once, you would be less persistent. just this once — and another problem would cease to plague his mind.
just this once, he chanted in his head. just this once.
he sat up straighter, and attempted to shape his hair so it wasn’t terribly unkept. he reasoned that if you saw him appearing to be healthy, you wouldn’t feel the need to come back. he thought —
but he couldn’t finish the thought.
because you walked in.
smelling like fucking lilacs.
lilacs, of all things. lilacs! not roses, not anything else — lilacs. he did not hate lilacs, but he despised the actual flower. only beautiful for so long before it died and the stench was intolerable. an inconvenience. a nuisance. a guaranteed future problem.
however, when you gifted him with a small smile — you realized why small shows of beauty were so valuable in this world. no one else saw your smile — except for those closest to you. people he hand selected to be around you to prevent future problems. he realized then — he had more control and ownership over your smile than either of you thought.
he was so stunned by your smile he didn’t even notice the tray of tea and cakes in your hand. you took a few steps towards him and he shifted in place.
“i brought your favorites,” you spoke softly. “i know you should rest — i just wanted to ask if there was anything i could do to make your recovery easier.”
“no, thank you,” he replied, voice raspy. “i should be well in a few days.”
you nodded and offered an uneasy smile. his eyes flickered over to how once you had set down the tray on his beside, you slowly wiped the palm of your hands down the front of your dress. your eyes were cast absentmindedly in front of you, on the wall — and he could tell something was plaguing your thoughts.
he then also realized there was a book on the tray, much to his dismay.
“someone had mentioned that this was your favorite author. this was published a few days ago,” you began. “i understand that you have been experiencing headaches, and may find it difficult to read… so i wanted to offer to read aloud for you, in case you found these walls dull.”
you smiled — it was an attempt at a joke. he smiled back, but only to be polite. “today i find myself wanting to sleep. i appreciate your offer.”
you smoothed your hands over your dress once more before nodding and forcing a smile. “i’ll leave you to it, then.”
you did not bid him farewell — and he found himself wondering if he was annoyed or grateful. you simply exited the room, and let the door shut softly behind you.
he scrunched his eyes at the door, swallowing hard.
however, he didn’t understand why.
he had wanted this. the perfect wife — knowing when to take a hint and frankly, fuck off. you had done that, perfectly well — so why was he pissed?
he then found himself glaring angrily at his favorite tea cakes. the swap of sugar for honey, another one of his favorites. his favorite author, a book he was excited to read when he was better. he knew that you hadn’t asked about him — he employed people with the requirement to let him know when you were asking questions. he knew your every outward thought and concern, and sometimes even the ones that weren’t shared aloud because they were so evident on your face.
and then he realized: you noticed things like he noticed things.
however, he knew why he went out of his way to notice things, but why did you?
his jaw clenched as he glared angrily at the wall in front of him. he picked up a tea cake and chewed it aggressively, swallowing it half-intact. he coughed at the barely there food, anger rising further to his flushed cheeks.
he needed to understand how, and he most certainly needed to understand why.
he never went out of his way to get to know you, because he thought he already did. he thought he had you boiled down to one thing, and one thing only: passive. incapable of proving to be any sort of roadblock that was capable of getting in his way. now that he knew you shared something with him, what else was shared? was there something he had to look out for? was there something he missed? was he wrong about you?!
he had to know. he had to.
to do that… he called you back that evening. it was two hours before midnight, and he knew you were awake. despite having separate chambers, he knew your daily schedule. you would be reading at this moment, and he would ask you to read for him.
as if on cue, he heard a soft rapping on the wood of the door. he beckoned you in, and you entered the room. you were clad in a night dress with a matching robe over it, all pink silk. this time, he returned your smile.
"i apologize for the late hour," he spoke. "i hope you had not retired for the night."
you shook your head, your tendrils of perfect hair shaking slightly. "i was reading. i am glad you sent for me — can i get you anything?"
"i was hoping the offer to read for me was still on the table," he rasped. "i find myself unable to sleep."
you blinked once, staring at him. in an instant, a small smile was threatening to overtake your face into a large one. you cast your eyes down to a blushing manner, but his eyes narrowed slightly on your face. what would you get out of reading for him? what we he not seeing? what did he miss?
"of course," you responded. "i have not had a chance to read anything by this author. i am glad i have the chance now."
why. why. why.
he did not show his discontent. he simply rested back against the pillows as you reached for the book on his bedside table. you sat down on a chair on his side, and you crossed your legs. he eyed the small portion of the exposed, soft skin of your legs and wondered if your new ploy would be to try and seduce him. however, you quickly covered your skin with the extra material over your robe and placed the book in your lap. once opened, you read for him.
he was not listening to what you were saying, but he was listening to how you said it. the tone, the enunciation, the pauses, and the speed. he wanted to find some clue as to why you had made it a point to be at his beck and call, and he wanted to see how long the act would last until it dropped.
the act would drop. it always did.
the hour would approach midnight before he found that he could not discern anything from how you were reading aloud. his plan did not yield the results intended, as you had not broken from fulfilling his task for two hours. two hours. you had not stopped out of boredom or exhaustion, nor to talk to him. you were poised, soft, and he hated to admit it... but sweet. he found your voice sweet, and he hated it.
and he fucking hated himself for it.
he needed this to end so he could plan further. out of necessity, he yawned. if you were to apt at picking up clues, then hopefully you would believe that he was finally tired. you had succeeded in his given task, and you were free to go.
but you had kept reading for him.
he grew angry.
when you had paused to breathe, he spoke up. "I think i am able to sleep now. thank you, sweetheart, for indulging me."
your eyeline raised with your eyebrows, almost out of surprise. you either were not expecting him to ask you to stop, or you did not want to stop. he wondered which, and if that would answer his ultimate question.
"my apologies, i should've inquired sooner," you replied. "he is a very talented writer... i found myself enjoying his perspective."
you grabbed a piece or scrap paper from his bedside table, and tucked it in between the pages where you left off.
"most people would fold the corner," he remarked, eyes drifting closed — a show.
you smiled. "i didn't want to ruin the integrity of your book. goodnight, coriolanus."
she left with another smile — and all he was left with was confusion, and rage.
the next morning, he found himself wanting to call you back in for a further rouse interview. he would have if he had a plan in place.
that was the second thing about you that annoyed him: you annoyed him to the point where he wanted to act without a plan in place. a loss of control —which he was highly against.
that would have to be righted immediately.
he spent the morning reading the pages that you had already read to brief himself as if he was listening last night. he reasoned with himself that the best course of action would be to ask you to read to him again to see if you had grown comfortable enough to let a few of your true colors slip.
they always slip.
the sudden task that was presented to him gave him a new bout of energy that he needed to inch closer to recovery. it gave him the push he needed to be closer to walking out of this room and continue to run panem, and he was lost grateful to you for giving it to him — almost. at the moment, you were a problem — and that needed to be corrected. immediately.
he found comfort in control, so he was very content with routines. he had grown accustomed to bracing himself for your check-in in the afternoon. however, it did not come until the approaching hours of the evening had almost descended upon the capitol. he waited, and waited, and waited — so long that he considered asking you to come for himself. the hour would approach dinnertime when you had finally asked about his well-being, and he sent for you.
how dare you ask so late in the day, as if you didn't care? he allowed you access to his life that he had denied you for so long, and you return his kindness with carelessness? this would not do. this most certainly would not do.
you had knocked on his door, and he had to stop himself from sounding to eager. he permitted you entry, and you entered with the same soft smile.
"good evening," you greeted.
"hello," he replied, voice still raspy from his sickness.
"I wanted to ask if you need anything," you announced.
he offered a small smile. "i enjoyed our time last night. perhaps you would read for me, again?"
your eyes fell to the floor in a blush. "of course. I was hoping to read more of the book eventually. i found it intriguing."
you sat down in the chair and pulled the book in your lap. as you were opening it, he spoke, "i thought when you had not checked-in in the early afternoon you found the book dull — afraid i would ask for you to read it for me again."
you shook your head as you smiled. "i like his writing very much — i was concerned as to whether i had prevented you from sleeping the night prior, and didn't want to disturb you further."
he swallowed. "why would you have disturbed me?"
your eyes glanced upwards from the pages to rest on his face. coriolanus stared back as slight concern washed over your features, making your lips part and your eyes widen. your tongue darted out from between your lips, and smoothed over the skin of your bottom lip. you responded, "before you fell ill, we hadn't spent much time together and i understand that is because of your position — but, to be frank, i wanted to respect your space.”
your answer perplexed coriolanus. he wanted to find out what type of person you were — and your answers were not yielding the expected results. there was no obvious form of manipulation in your words, which then worried him. were you smarter than he believed you to be? were you as cunning as him? more so?
so he went with what was natural: manipulation.
“i apologize my station has not granted us the freedom to get to know each other further,” he replied, holding your gaze. “it is a regret of mine.”
you smiled in an affirmative manner, like you didn’t believe him but accepted his answer anyway. this expression arose the same feelings he now detested your presence for: he acted without calculating his actions and the outcome they would produce.
“what troubles you?” he asked.
your lips parted and slightly quivered. you were not expecting him to ask.
“i-i was worried that i may not… please you,” you admitted. “that… you may regret our union.”
“you have been a kind and dutiful wife,” coriolanus spoke, eyes holding yours. “there is no regret.”
there was that affirmative smile again. he found himself hating it — wishing it would be replaced by the warm, soft one.
“i guess i was hoping that, when i was married, the marriage would be more than… a union.”
your candor shocked coriolanus. he would never have expected you to say something… so out of turn.
“please, forgive me,” you spoke, slightly laughing and waving your hand in the air. “the hour is almost late and i was hoping to read more. do you still wish me to?”
“please,” he answered and nodded.
you gave him a quick, thankful smile, and began reading.
this would be the second night coriolanus had not listened to a word you had said.
he had gotten his answer, and it was possibly as bad as the one he was actually afraid for.
you were good. pure, innocent, and your outlook on the world untainted. you were not striving to find a loose screw and let the empire fall. you wanted… to support the man who built and kept the empire together. it was worse than anything he could’ve ever imagined — you actually cared for him.
you cared for him, and now coriolanus snow was fucking terrified.
and yet... he had asked you to return to his chambers every night after that.
for research purposes, of course. only research purposes,
to read to him, but his goal was to learn more about you rather than the text.
you would sit there and read until he asked you to stop. when he did, you would close the book, smile at him, place it back on his nightstand, and bid him goodnight.
after, he would wrestle with the blankets and pillows in order to find out how to deal with this.
how had he not expected this?
his only fault was that he neglected to realize how far your shyness would go. you had grown comfortable with him — and you admitted that you wanted something more, something he always felt he could not give. you weren’t shy — you just weren’t open with people you weren’t comfortable with.
he should’ve known. he should’ve. fucking. known.
he didn’t know how to deal with this, if he was being honest with himself.
he told himself that he asked for you every evening to get to know you better, for his own sanity and safety; but then he began to realize he had found out everything he needed to know.
good and honest. how fucking unfortunate.
he saw a part of you, but now he needed to know more.
so what did he do? he sent you flowers. flowers. an arrangement of red roses and lilacs.
he hated himself for the lilacs.
he got somewhere with you when he had made the first move before — maybe this would yield more promising results.
however, it didn’t.
all he received in return was an extra tray of food that had arrived in the afternoon. his favorite tea cakes, and a handwritten thank-you note detailed in your appreciation for the beautiful flowers. you signed your name, and that was it.
she doesn’t make first moves, he thought. she responds to them.
he knew what he had to do.
he found himself feeling better that day — well enough to end his sick leave and return to his matters. dinner was approaching, and he sent for you to join him for a private dinner this evening.
he was washed, dressed, and coiffed within the hour.
he found you in the dining parlor waiting for him, inspecting his large bookcase. you were trying to reach a book a bit above where your height would allow, extending yourself onto your toes. coriolanus walked up behind you, towering over you, and retrieved the book for you.
you glanced up at him with wide eyes. “thank you, coriolanus.”
“what intrigued you?” he asked, grinning softly.
“first one i couldn’t reach. i was working my way up.” you smiled at him, and then the book. “please — you must be hungry. let us eat.”
you sat down at the table across from him. dinner manners were rather stiff and uncomfortable, but your upbringing that was similar to coriolanus’ prevented you from straying from them. you ate in silence for a few moments before you spoke.
“how do you like his new book?” you asked.
coriolanus cleared his throat. “i find it riveting. i wouldn’t have been able to read it for some time if it hadn’t been for you.”
you smiled at your plate, blushing. “his points are very interesting. i was never very interested in politics — so the insight of someone so heavily involved with them is very informative. do you find that your opinions align with his? or does he not share your perspective?”
he appreciated your willingness to engage with him about topics you weren’t very fond of. an underrated trait, not found very often — he had to admit.
“a bit of both,” he responded. “the one thing he does not discuss is how important it is to have a certain type of person or persons in your regime that allows the flow of success to continue.”
you nodded. “you have built a strong administration — i’m sure he would admire what you have to say.”
“what do you believe?” he asked. “about partnerships?”
you swallowed, contemplating your answer. “i think… a successful partnership is where everyone is complimented by another. for instance, someone is better at briefing documents rather than the presentation of them, and another is the opposite.”
“which one are you?” coriolanus inquired.
you paused once more, folding your lip under. he realized that was a sign you were uncomfortable — unaware of how to proceed. after a moment, you answered, “i feel the most confident under a strong leader. i prefer to be behind the scenes. minute details are easier to be taken care of that way. while you and i are different, i respect you for being the strong leader panem needed. i am sure the majority would agree with me.”
now was the time.
“it is easy to be strong when one’s wife makes sure they are well,” he replied, eyes resting on your face. “i hope you know i appreciate your willingness to accept change and make sure needs are met.”
you smiled at him once more, then turned back to your food.
damn, he thought. didnt bite.
“and for being the companion i… didn’t think i would come to enjoy the company of,” he added.
you glanced up at him then, astonishment written in your eyes as plain as the words on the paper you read for him every night. “may i ask you… a question?”
he nodded.
“did you believe you wouldn’t enjoy my company before, or after you had first met me?”
“i don’t understand.”
you swallowed, clearing your throat. “were you… wary of the idea of marriage, or wary of me?”
your gaze did not break from his. you were braver than he thought.
“marriage,” he answered honestly, hoping to witness your reaction.
there was the affirmative smile — the one he hated. “thank you for — for being honest.”
your eyes didn’t wait for a response. you turned back to your food, and left him dumbstruck.
“i hope i have not displeased you,” he stated.
“no, coriolanus,” you spoke. “if i am being honest… i was wary i would not be suitable for you. if i have not displeased you, then i am well.”
“but you stated you wanted more,” he countered, tone even.
“i hoped we would… spend time together,” you answered. “and we have.”
it was coriolanus’ turn to be at a loss for words. what would this admission relay? it only solidified what he was afraid of — you wanted a marriage filled of love, and he was not prepared for that. ever.
“the flowers were beautiful,” you spoke, interrupting his thoughts. “thank you for sending them.”
“your lilac perfume is a wonderful addition to the capitol,” he spoke, unsure where this had come from. “i wanted you to know that.”
you weren't supposed to say that you weren't supposed to tell the truth you weren't supposed
you smiled at him appreciatively, that accompanied a slight twinkle in your eye. you were quick to return to eating, but coriolanus couldn’t stop staring at your face. he realized then that was his new favorite smile.
there was a moment, a small moment, where he wondered whether it would be such a crime if he did allow himself to enjoy your company more than he had. in that moment, he couldn’t think of how it would go wrong. for that moment, you were a simple, low-maintenance, beautiful woman on the other side of the table with him that just liked spending time with him — and he enjoyed that you weren’t a problem. would it so bad if he entertained the idea?
he immediately cut himself off. of course it was a bad idea.
once dinner has finished, he had requested to walk you back your chambers. if time spent together was what kept you at bay, he could manage that. he most certainly could.
when the pair of you had approached the door, you stopped for a moment and paused reaching for the handle. you spoke, “would you… like to come in?”
“not tonight,” he rasped. he gave you a polite smile. “another time.”
he watched as you blinked your eyes a few times and your lips quivered. you didn’t meet his gaze, for it fell — in what appeared to be embarrassment.
oh.
you invited him in to… to…
that he had not expected.
before you had the chance to leave, he swooped down and grabbed your chin in his thumb and forefinger. he pressed his lips to yours ever so softly, holding it there. the moment your breath caught in your throat, there was a strange feeling inside his chest that made him feel like he’d like to quell your worries by catching you off guard another time. and another. and another. and another. he couldn’t have you feeling rejected, no — not when he didn’t want to reject you. he needed heirs, sure — but they could wait. he would contemplate how long later.
once he pulled back, you smiled. inside you were bursting, and you wanted to hurry behind a closed door so he could not see your reaction. he continued to hold your chin and gaze at your face. feeling brave, you looked him in the eye as you bid him goodnight and went into your room.
you left him standing outside your door, facing its wood paneling.
what was he to do?
he wanted to keep you as emotionally far away as possible to avoid anything like this occurring. he was prepared for people who had an ulterior motive… not a young woman who only wanted to be good to her husband.
the worst part was… not every part of him wanted him to keep you away.
would it be so bad, if he had actually courted you?
you were not anyone from his past, no. you were not irresponsible and impulsive, and you could be trusted to remain within a designated role and space. you were rarely outspoken — you never strayed from your cue cards, nor did you get smart in private. you never spoke out of turn, which coriolanus always knew — this was just the first time he was more turned on than he was just grateful.
he reasoned a reward was in order.
he found his knuckles wrapping on the door before he could stop himself.
the small movements inside your apartments stalled for a moment, pulled taut like a string in an instrument. he could picture you — standing still and silent, waiting for an explanation.
then he heard footsteps approaching the door before the door handle turned. when you opened the door, the first thing he saw was your eyes.
those big, beautiful eyes that looked at him with surprise — and the slightest bit of hope. coriolanus would most likely try to convince himself that he stayed completely still to exercise a form of control over you — but deep down, he would never be able to believe that completely.
however… when you reached out with your soft, delicate hand, and pulled at his own — it didn’t matter why he did it, because he won.
he shut the door behind him, keeping your gaze.
“i would be coy and ask if we could spend time together in a... different way than usual…” you began, sighing. “but up until this moment i was convinced we would never…”
coriolanus was in no mood to quell insecurities and anxieties. he understood that words could not compare to actions, and so he would do just that.
coriolanus stepped forward, and pressed his large hands against the sides of your face. for a split moment — you almost looked terrified. he usually relished in that look from others, but with you it only made him concerned — angry, even.
“i don’t know what it is about you.” his voice was shaky. it was the first moment in your entire marriage that coriolanus had shown even a shred of weakness. “you smile, you obey, you take my transgressions like they’re fucking sweets. why?! tell me!”
your big, round eyes were blown wide as your brow was knitted together. your lips were parted in an innocent manner, and it only fueled his anger. one of your hands came up to gently lay across the back of his. “coriolanus — have you ever considered that i just wanted to get to know you?”
his eyes searched yours like they were an important document and he couldn’t believe what bullshit he was reading. his lips pursed in a manner that suggested a sour taste, and you felt your joy slipping, slipping, and slipping.
“coriolanus — if you want to go, then go.” your voice was breaking. you knew he was a cool, hard man — but this? this? it was almost too much. “you don’t have to stay if you don’t —“
he couldn’t take your nonsense anymore. he shut you up with a kiss.
he smashed your lips together like it was the first thing he should’ve done when he walked back into the room. a squeal died in your throat at the contact, but coriolanus held you there and upright. both of your hands found the firmness of his chest for balance. when he pulled away — he barely did. he kept his lips an inch away from yours as little tuffs of air pushed past. he leaned his forehead against yours, almost bonding the two of you.
“my greatest displeasure will be making you regret this,” he rasped, eyes screwed shut.
your breathing began to hasten as you contemplated your next words. you began to stroke coriolanus’ hands with your thumbs, hoping to coax him. “you say that like it’s inevitable.”
“it is not far from,” he choked through anger and sadness.
you couldn’t help but stare back at him as he almost glared at you — but then you realized that wasn’t the case. he wasn’t glaring at you — he was glaring through you. whatever traumatized him, whatever made him so distrustful of the world around him and the people in it… you realized then that you represented all of that to him. you had to be different. you had to show him that you were different than all of that.
“i’ve trusted you,” you whispered, almost pleading. “i would like for you to try and trust me. please, coriolanus… i’ve never asked you for anything — just this once —“
coriolanus shook his head, dismissing you. “it’s corio.”
he slammed his lips to yours. his kiss was that of a fight; burning with every cut of anger, frustration, desperation, and sadness in his soul. you weren’t sure if he accounted for your inexperience, but you let him lead as you swallowed all of his suffering. you knew you may never be everything you wanted to be for him — but for this moment, or for whatever he would allow — you could be his escape, and he could be yours.
just this once, you both thought. just this once.
his hands were on both sides of your face, caging you in as you were at the mercy of his bittersweet affection. you tried to keep up with him, almost afraid that you wouldn’t be enough for him — but corio didn’t care. he couldn’t have cared less as he backed you into the foot of the bed. he didn’t stop kissing you as the back of your legs hit your soft mattress, and you were forced to sit down.
with his tongue tangling with yours, you managed to lift your hands to the top buttons of his shirt. he batted your hands away and went to work on his own buttons. you reached behind for your zipper to your dress and attempted to undue it.
corio then pushed your hands away with that too — ripping the zipper down its track and pushing the sleeves down your shoulders.
“corio —“ you gasped through the kiss, struggling to keep up with him.
he pulled away for a short moment, staring into your eyes. “i have denied myself being with you for so long — nothing is stopping me now.”
he held the glare, and you could only stare back at him in fright. however, that was when you realized that he had felt the same way, or at least similar — you both wanted each other, and had been scared to approach the other. your heart filled with warmth, threatening to explode, but all you could do was nod.
he seemed to calm down then, glancing down towards your lips where he prodded your bottom lip with the tip of his numb. “i have wondered for so long what it would be like to kiss my perfect wife — and now that i know, i don’t think i’ll ever give it up.”
you smiled at that. “can i tell you what i have been wondering?”
his eyes met yours once more, almost a warning. you didn’t falter, though. he replied, “yes?”
“i’ve wondered what it would be like to please you,” you spoke softly, a pink hue rising to your cheeks.
his flat look broke then, softening. a smirk greeted his features and you could see his confidence in himself rise. “my lovely wife wants to please me?”
“yes,” you spoke, holding your breath. “if you’ll let me.”
bright and striking, flames of mischief came to light in his irises. emotions of excitement and fear rose within you, and you weren’t sure which was stronger. all you could do was watch as your strong, powerful, larger than life husband stood over you, chin raised, looking down his nose at you, as he unbuckled his belt. his pants and briefs, once around his ankles, were discarded — but you didn’t see that. you couldn’t look away from his eyes — holding you, and your gaze, in place.
it was like you were an enemy he was testing. you didn’t know what he expected, let alone what would make him happy — but you hoped his expectations were slightly lower in light of your inexperience. you swallowed the hard rock of nervousness in your throat, stood up, and gestured for him to sit down on the edge of the bed. he raised an eyebrow at you, but complied. you sat down on your knees in between his, and waited patiently for direction.
“can you…” you began. “can you teach me?”
he smirked once more. “take me in your hand.”
you bent your head lower, and grabbed him by the base. he was hard and warm in your hand as you saw him trying to fight the twitching feeling in his limbs. his muscles were tight, afraid to show weakness. you grew uncomfortable — you didn’t want him weak, but you did want him to feel comfortable enough with you to enjoy a fucking blowjob.
holding his muscle upright, you stuck your tongue out and licked around the tip of his cock. he was salty, but smelled so masculine after a long day. his scent infiltrated all of your senses and had captured your attention. it made you hungry, greedy — so much so that you closed your lips around his cock and began to suck.
he jumped then. “teeth,” he spat.
you paled in embarrassment and fright — but didn’t allow your fear to show for long. you adjusted your tongue and lips — so that your top lip was folded under your top set, and your outstretched tongue covered your bottom set. hollowing out your cheeks, you took him into your mouth once more.
a low hum filled his chest.
you couldn’t see him, and could barely hear him — corio was being a selfish lover and not letting you know whether or not he was enjoying himself. he told you once before you were doing something wrong, so you tried to trust that he would tell you.
that was easier said than done, frankly. with your free hand, you reached up and began to massage his sack in the soft skin of your palm. the hum in his chest turned deeper and louder, and you felt his hips twitch once.
maybe it shouldn't have mattered that he wasn't vocal — but it wasn't like he was shy. you would not fault him for not doing something he didn't want to do, but it was like he was denying you that. if you were making him feel good, and he was fighting the volume of his moans — how fucking dare he deny you of that! there you were, constantly at his beck and call, and he couldn't even freely moan with you? you were obedient, quiet, grateful, everything he wanted — but this? this? too much. absolutely too much of an ask.
you had to do something.
"mr. president," you cooed, twisting your soft tongue around the tip of his cock. "you're awfully quiet above me."
he let out a laugh as he struggled to keep his composure. one of hands found the back of your head as his fingers struggled to tangle themselves in between your strands. they were tugging and pulling, but there was no strength in his grip. his grip — wouldn't catch. couldn't catch. corio, you husband — struggled day in and day out to keep the control in the capital and inside his castle. there was a part of you that believed he just needed to let go, let someone else be in control — but you were his pretty little wife after all. you had until death to try everything. losing control could wait, because tonight... tonight was about making corio the grateful one for once.
you let your loose grip run circles up and down the length of his cock. his shaft was wet and thick, begging the attention of the light from above so the skin was able to glisten. the tip of his cock, red and angry, almost neglected — never had you seen something so delicious, nor deserving of affection. your lips, swollen, wrapped themselves around the tip of his cock as you sucked. notes of salt and sweat mixed together on your tongue, and you hummed at the taste.
"taste sweet, mrs. snow?" you heard from above you. your eyes glanced up to find corio's eyes glazed over with pleasure. his eyelids were drooping over, and all you could think about how badly you wanted to make him close his eyes in bliss. your eyes watched his eyes, but his eyes watched the way your mouth sucked him in. "being so good for me. let your husband see what else you can do."
your ears perked in interest. you didn't know what he meant, but you were intrigued to see if he would teach you.
"please... show me what you like," you spoke, extending your neck as he lowered his face to yours.
"so eager to please..." he spoke, staring down at you in awe. his hand slid down for your scalp to cup your cheek. he looked into your eyes like he was studying you — searching for something surface level. a flaw, or something good... you weren't sure. "i suppose some would say i'm lucky."
you didn't like the sound of that... but you didn't let it show. you gave him a hint of a smile. "i don't think it matters what anyone else thinks. i think what matters is you telling me what you like... so you can decide if you're lucky or not."
he chuckled at that, but his laugh was reserved. always holding back, your husband. "you really want to be a good little wife for me... don't you?"
you fell into the strength behind the hand on your face and keened into his touch. his hand was warm against your skin. "please, corio... please let me."
he stood then, and your gaze raised with his body. you gazed up at him as he stared down at you. there his eyes went again — searching yours. he stood closer to you then, bending down slightly. "it would please me if, at any point, you told me to stop because of the pain. i don't want to hurt you." his voice was low and soft then, immediately striking you. "can i trust you to do that? hmm?"
"i'll tell you," you replied, nodding your head. "i promise."
"never break a promise you make to me," he warned.
you nodded your head once more, unsure how to proceed. he led you over to the side of the bed where he gestured for your to lie down. with the passing of time, you became more and more aware of how bare you both were in front of each other. you were ready to let down every fence of insecurity for the man before you... but there were still walls of his that threatened to come down. he was hot and cold every other moment, it seemed... and you weren’t even sure where to begin.
“husband,” you spoke, unsteadily, as he found his place between his legs. “you seem so… distrustful of me. what can i do? please, corio, i just want this moment to be special for us — for you.”
there his eyes went — searching yours again. it was like he was rereading a page in a book over and over, hoping to find the hidden message in the black and white scripture. his eyes, going back and forth, appeared to be looking over unclear smudges and scribbles as his lips began to purse. you almost said something — stopped him from withdrawing into himself, but he moved before you could.
he sat back against the pillows, which faced a mirror across your bed. you rose curiously, hoping that he would finally give you some direction. he simply took your hand in his, and gestured for you to come closer. “come,” he spoke.
in his lap, maybe? you thought curiously. you went to throw your leg over his, before he stopped you. with a furrowed brow, you watched as he adjusted you so your back laid against his chest.
“do as i say,” he whispered against your ear, sending shivers up and down your spine.
your eyes were cast to the side, his outline in your peripheral vision. you nodded, letting your lips fall apart. you felt one of his hands on the soft skin of your thigh, grazing upwards towards your hips. you almost let your eyes fall closed, hoping to lose yourself in the sensations, before corio stopped you.
with that same hand, he reached upwards and grasped your chin between his fingers. your eyes shot open as he moved your head to now face the mirror, and the pair of you in it.
shallow breaths were pushing past your lips as you stared into the mirror. your cheeks were flushed, your hair in a slight disarray, and your lips were swollen. with a flutter of your eyelashes, your gaze flickered towards corio’s reflection. your husband was always perfect — so even the slight persuasion from tidiness was a remarkable sight to you. his eyes were focused — unable to remain cool, calm, and collected as usual.
his eyes, you thought. his eyes will always tell me.
“you will watch,” corio spoke suddenly, voice hard. “you will keep your eyes on my hands. you stray, and i leave. understand?”
you nodded, looking into his eyes through the mirror.
he cocked an eyebrow.
“yes,” you spoke, almost breathless. “i understand.”
corio’s hand then found its way to your center. the tips of his finger tips, soft and hot, lightly drew a line up and down your slit. your eyes wouldn’t leave the mirror — focused on his fingertips. it was like your skin knew every correct button to tap, tap, tap. every part of you was so sensitive, so keen to his touch that you were embarrassed. you felt so pathetic against his chest, bent to his will — but you wouldn’t have had it any other way. the voice in your head was whining and hoping you would give in, just give in, let down your guard, give in, forget manners. you wanted to keep your composure as long as possible, but when corio’s middle finger found your clit…
oh… you were done for.
one of your hands immediately snapped up to find corio’s bicep and clutch onto whatever foundation he could give. you didn’t dare let your eyes meet his, even in the mirror — what if he stopped? what, huh? what then? when you were the closest you had been ever? you couldn’t allow yourself to be greedy, not when he was being oh, so selfless.
the circles he was drawing taunted your ability remain calm. he rolled your tiny clit underneath the weight of the tip of his finger and pressed down with every circle. it pushed, and pulled, and fucking pried at every fiber of your being. you could only force yourself up and back against corio, whining like a pathetic mess.
“running away from me, my sweet?” he whispered in your ear. “when i’m being so kind?”
his words bit at your ear, reminding you of your position in his world. your eyes were threatening to drift closed, hoping, praying, that corio would let you slip this once from your responsibilities. naive, you were, to believe that.
“remember our deal, wife,” he darkly cooed in your ear. “one request was all i had. i refuse to be denied it.”
“i know, i know…” you whined, rolling your hips with his hand. “it just feels so good, corio… i’ve never… no one’s ever…”
“i can tell you never knew how bad your body would crave it,” he spoke, nipping at your earlobe. “even your pussy obeys me, drenching my fingers. too sweet for this world, aren’t you?”
“just wanna be sweet for you, corio,” you whined as your vision began to blur.
the approaching orgasm was anything but a warm and fuzzy feeling around you. it was hot and jagged — making your muscles jerk, yet force your hips to roll into every movement of corio’s. the cloud over your brain felt like a warm haze of the finest whisky or tobacco the capital could offer. you were numb, drunk, and unable to process the world around you unless it was corio. his touch, his taste, his scent, his look, his orders… everything was setting you off and keeping you in place all at once. your body was hot to the touch, feverish as it tried to fight your sophistication and just fucking —
“that’s it, sweetheart. so focused on the mirror you can’t even find the strength to let go for me,” he spat, pressing a kiss to your cheek and breathing in your scent. “ride my hand like the good girl you are. you wanted to show me, remember?”
tears were brimming your eyes and blurring your vision. your teeth were gritted and bared for him. one of his hands came up to loosely grasp your throat as your hips began to spasm. it was so much, too much, so much —
“corio, please —“ you cried. “please let me look away. i can’t — i have to cry, i can’t —“
there was no softness in his movements against your aching clit. corio had now employed two fingers to dip into your core, collect your slick, and rub it along your sensitive bud in harsh circles. it sent your mind through a suffocating tube and gasping for air. you were begging, pleading — unsure what would happen if you were denied the ability to finish in peace. you began to cry in frustration and fear, so sensitive to the touch and his approval.
“corio…” you whimpered. “please, please let me…”
“do it,” he spat, holding your throat and kissing your face. “show your husband how fucking messy you can be for him.”
you grasped onto him and threw yourself back.
it was like a rollercoaster. twists and turns, yanking your body every which way. corio’s body rocked with yours as the sensations climbed and fit into every single one of your limbs. your lungs, burning, were screaming for air as you tried to fight for consciousness. the world was white, milky, foggy — unable to navigate, let alone exist in. all you could feel was corio’s body moving with yours and coaxing you through the most insane moment of your entire life.
tears fell down your face, and you struggled to conceal it. corio refused to let you hide from him. he bent his face low to yours and pressed the side of his face against the side of yours.
his breaths were heavy, similar to yours.
“corio…” you whimpered, almost whining.
“i know, sweetheart,” he cooed. “so good for me, weren’t you? asking so obediently and politely.”
you nodded, pressing your forehead against his. “i’m sorry that i was —“
“what’re you sorry for?” he demanded.
you clenched your jaw. “i was — i am — i’m worried i was too much — i was so — out of control —“
he shut you up with a kiss. coriolanus snow refused to allow you to continue, or else he knew he would be offended if he had let you finished.
“i wanted that,” he stated. “every bit of that. what, you don’t find it agonizing to be prim and fucking proper every day?”
you laughed uneasily, a bit spooked by his outburst of aggression. “i thought you — i thought that was what you wanted from me.”
he shook his head. “out there — it’s necessary. in here, when it’s only the two of us? don’t ever hide yourself from me. you must promise.”
you swallowed as your haze began to disappear. “only if you promise the same."
you saw his jaw pulse from the corner of your eye. “i promise.”
“i promise,” you returned.
you quickly reconnected your lips. you couldn't let the moment slip away. you needed to seize him while he was there — trusting you for the first time in your entire relationship. you found both of your hands on the side of his face and held him to you. corio fought for control, but you gave in immediately. the need for him to need you was stronger and more satisfying that anything else you could've experienced in that moment. you turned around, straddling his lap and pushing him down to the bed.
everything you were doing was improper: grabbing your husband, forcibly kissing him, sitting in his lap, pushing him down... you almost stopped. you almost gave into the insecurity and made friends with with meekness and shyness once more. however, you made a promise — and you intended to keep it.
"i want you inside me, corio," you whispered against his lips. "please, i want to feel you —"
"again, sweetheart?" he ripped himself from your lips to grunt out his teasing. "one taste, and you're addicted?"
you hummed approval against his lips, tangling your tongue with his. with one hand on the back of your head, holding your face to his, corio's other hand fished between the pair of you and grasped his leaking cock in his hand. the tip was red and swollen, aching for some stimulation or attention. he spread his precum over his tip and with a firm hand, corio slid his cock inside of you.
you arched your back away from corio. the feeling of him being fully sheathed inside of you bent your attention in every which was. both of your hands cradled the back of his head into your chest, where he found himself nestled between your breasts. his breaths were hot and heavy, moist against your skin. his swollen lips found one of your perky nipples and sucked it into his mouth, caving to his primal urges. coriolanus snow wanted every part of you for himself, and needed to place that claim on every part of your body. he wanted your thighs to shake and ache from being locked around him, your fingers to tremble from your hard grip, and he wanted your lips to be bruised from how hard he made you bite them. and, most of all, he wanted every loud moan to rip itself from your aching throat and fill the perfectly painted walls of this damned room.
he cursed you when you threw a hand over your mouth, and he immediately ripped it away. "don't you fucking dare," he spat.
you ignored him. he was your husband, and he was the scariest man you would ever meet, and yet you ignored him. most of all, your hips ignored him. they began to roll against his own the best they could for their inexperience. up, down, and grinding down was the best they could manage before corio grabbed you by the flesh of your hips and moved you to his liking. and when your mouth parted and a loud cry made your throat shake when he twisted your hips forward, he knew he found the spot.
"do not ever deny me what i am owed," he spat, fucking into that spot that wrapped a tight band around your abdomen. "i want to hear how good i am making you feel, and i will. i get to hear. those are mine. i am owed those."
again, you ignored him. what did he expect when your eyes began to roll back into your head and you began to match his pace? you were close, you were so, so close...
that was when corio grabbed you by the chin, refusing to let up his pace. his eyes were full of darkness, yet focus. like he had found his prey. you tried to focus, tried to give him the respect the deserved... but you couldn't. your mind was swimming, and your arching cunt was dripping down his length and onto the skin of his pelvis. you were lost. so fucking lost.
"yours, corio!" you whined. "all yours. only yours."
his voice was gruff against your lips as his thrust became rougher. "say it again."
your eyes began to drift closed as you leaned your head into the crook of his neck, rolling your hips against his. his cock had found its way to the most sensitive and purest part of you and ripped down every wall you had. you sobbed, "yours, corio. only yours."
corio threw you off of him and your back hit the bed. he was on top of you in an instant. he threw your legs up and pressed them against your chest. with your ankles on his shoulders, he pushed himself inside of you and began to relentlessly punish your perfect fucking pussy.
"mine, you got that?" he spat against your ear. "i have watched you, day after day, put on this fucking act! perfect and proper — but i made a proper whore out of the most desirable woman in the capital, didn't i? and now she's mine — forever warming my bed."
"forever, corio," you whined. your sobs were music to his ears, going straight to his cock. your cunt was raw from the friction and slick, unsure if corio should stop or keep going — but you didn't let him guess. "inside me, corio, please... want it to bad. been so good for you..."
his hand was around your throat and demanding your attention. "as if i'd waste a drop when every man in the capital would be able to see you round with my child. you want that wife? my seed, my child? you want to be fully claimed by me?"
"yes," you cried, tears falling down your cheeks. "give it to me, husband, please —"
corio reached down in between your hips and rubbed your clit with whatever energy he had left. his thrust were growing sloppy, but his movements against your swollen bud were worse. he was hissing in your ear as he continued the assault against you. your moans were loud as they escaped your lips and filled the room, setting corio's skin on fire. sweat dripped down from his brow and down his neck to mingle with yours as your second orgasm of the evening began to approach. it snapped the rubber band in your lower belly and you immediately sobbed into corio's neck. his hips continued to rut in you, forcing you down onto the bed as he swallowed all of your sobs for himself. your nails dug into his back and down his spine, hoping to rip parts from him that he had taken from you.
when corio came, you were in a stupor. cock drunk with your mouth hanging open, dazed. when corio came, one of his hands grabbed your messy pile of hair, wrenching at the roots. he pulled you to the side to suck on the sensitive skin of your neck as he pumped your cunt full of his cum. your walls were hot and sticky, full of him, but it only caused the most sickeningly warm feeling to spread throughout you. every primal need of yours was satisfied, and corio could see every bit of it on your face. the pride that welled within your husband... shameful. no man should be in possession of such an ego boost like making the prettiest, more desired woman in all of panem break from all bounds of social etiquette. you were warm, and wet, and craving every bit of his touch, so he couldn't deny you... not anymore. not when he felt the same. with each sob that left your mouth, he felt a kick in the pit of his stomach as his balls throbbed. never in his life had a woman ripped from him what he had taken from her, cheeks hot and muscles worn out.
he would regret it in the morning, maybe, but not now. no — not now.
"husband, forgive me, but..." you spoke. "my mind is a mess. i don't think i can read to you this evening."
corio rolled his eyes and laughed. "that good?"
you pressed a kiss to his lips as you hummed in approval. "never wait that long to bed your wife again."
he chuckled darkly. "watch it, sweetheart."
---
love u guys sm sorry it was so long ty for reading love u love u love u
-L xooxoxooxox
#corio smut#coriolanus smut#coriolanus snow smut#corio snow smut#corio fic#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x you#corio snow#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow#coriolanus fic#coriolanus imagine#corio imagine#the hunger games#lucy gray#sejanus plinth#young coriolanus snow
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Hhhhh
#shay speaks#feeling kinda burnt out on sky.jacks#ive already started this week's ep so ill finish it but i think im gonna take a break#after this week. i can catch up again later#starting to get the same feeling i was getting at the end of my genshin run so#its uh. i love sky.jacks i really do which is why i think i need a break#so i dont start hating it bc i forced myself to keep going#still havent hit this point with enstars but ive also#been caught up on sj for like. 3+ years so#thats. a lot of time. i think its time for a break#i got caught up around episode 50 and have not fallen off since then other than#skipping skyjoust episodes. we'll see how im feeling when cc s3 starts....
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Period relief
Zayne x reader
Summary: When your period hits unexpectedly, leaving you stranded with only one pad and no energy to even go to the store, the last thing you expect is for your plans with Zayne to suddenly fall into place.
Words: 2k
Notes: I wrote it while I was dying on my period (shocking, isn't it, given the theme?), and edited it when I was able to think. I'm still dealing with the consequences of being a woman, so it might not be perfect, but I tried.
Let’s hope a cute doctor can help you too during those tough times.
English is not my first language
Masterlist
You groaned. Great. Your last pad. Perfect timing.
You had planned to go out tonight to restock—not just pads, but all the other necessities you'd need for your period, which, according to your calculations, should start tomorrow. Not fucking today.
Just as you were cursing internally and debating whether you could manage a trip to the store now, your phone buzzed with a new text:
My surgery took shorter than expected, so I can see you tonight if you're still free.
Right. You’d originally asked Zayne to hang out today, but he had to decline. Now, suddenly, he was available. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve been thrilled. But at the moment? You felt like dying.
It wasn’t just the cramps, fatigue, and general misery of your period arriving earlier than expected. It was also the fact that your relationship with Zayne was still fairly new. And while you liked him—a lot—you weren’t quite sure how you felt about him seeing you like this.
You sighed, fingers hovering over the keyboard before you finally typed:
I’d love to see you, but I just got my period and currently feel like rotting on my couch… after I force myself to go out and buy some necessities.
Immediately, your phone started ringing.
You grumbled but answered, moving weakly to curl up on the couch in a fetal position as you pressed the phone to your ear.
“Hi,” you managed to say.
“What do you need?”
“Huh?”
“I'm leaving the hospital soon. I'll get you what you need,” Zayne said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The familiarity of his voice made you feel safe, but also… vulnerable. He always found ways to take care of you, even when you didn’t ask, and sometimes it made you feel guilty.
“No, no need. I just took a painkiller. I should be able to go and get something myself soon. I don’t want to trouble you.” You hated how weak you sounded, even if you were doing your best to brush it off. You hated feeling like a burden.
“If it were trouble for me, I wouldn’t be offering.”
His words, simple as they were, immediately softened the knot in your chest. It was the truth, and you knew it.
And just like that, you were reminded why you adored that man so much.
“So, what do you need?”
“Pads,” you admitted.
“Alright. The ones you usually use?”
“Wait… how do you know what I use?” you asked, surprised. You’d never told him, had you?
A teasing lilt came through his voice. “They're in your cabinets. The one you told me to put my stuff in too, remember?”
“Right, right. Of course. Didn’t think you’d remember.”
“I try to remember things about you. So those?” He sounded so amused, and you couldn’t help but feel a little flustered. Of course, he remembered. He always did. It was one of the things you appreciated in him.
“Yeah.”
“Anything else?”
You hesitated, not wanting to bother him more.
“If you don’t tell me, I won’t be able to get it,” he pointed out.
“Right. Um… mint tea?” you offered, unsure if it was too much.
“Is that all?”
“Yes.”
You expected him to hang up as you heard more shuffling over his end of the phone call. Yet, he wasn’t done with the conversation.
“Have you eaten?”
You winced. You really didn’t want to admit how bad you’d been about that.
“Umm… you’re not gonna like the answer.” You avoided the question with a pathetic attempt at humor, hoping he wouldn’t push.
“Don’t tell me you took painkillers on an empty stomach,” he said, his voice adopting that doctor-like tone—the one you recognized all too well.
“I know, I know,” you interrupted quickly. “I forced myself to eat some yogurt and crackers before taking it.”
A disappointed sigh came through the receiver. “Better than nothing, I guess. I’m going to grab us some dinner too, then. Anything you're craving?”
You weren’t really hungry, but you should eat something. Then again, Zayne probably wasn’t going to approve of what you wanted.
“Fries.”
“Fries?”
“Yes. And chicken wings. Preferably spicy.” You knew it wasn’t the best idea, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care much about nutrition right now.
A pause. You could feel the judgment through the phone.
“That’s not the most nutritious food, especially now when you should be eating things rich in—”
“I know,” you cut him off, hoping to end the lecture before it started. As much as you liked him talking about just anything, you were not in the mood to listen to what you should be eating or doing. “Just get whatever then.” You were glad he was not seeing you right now because you were for sure pouting like a small child, and he would for sure tease you about it.
“Alright. I’ll be there soon.”
And then it hit you. He was going to be here soon.
You groaned, pulling the blanket over your face. You missed him, and the thought of not having to drag yourself to the store was nice, but… you also didn’t want him to see you like this.
“What is it?” Zayne asked, clearly sensing your hesitation.
“I… um.” You trailed off, unsure of how to explain it.
“You don’t want to see me?” His voice softened. “I wanted to take care of you, but if you’d rather not, I can just drop off the stuff and go.”
“No, it’s not that… it’s just…” you mumbled, “I look like shit.”
“Excuse me?”
“I just… I don’t look good.” It felt silly to admit, but there it was. You didn’t want him to see you like this, and you certainly didn’t feel like pulling yourself together.
There was a beat of silence, and then—
Laughter.
“Zayne, don’t laugh at me!”
“I apologize,” he said, still clearly amused. “You’re in pain. You’re allowed to not look your best. Besides, I can assure you—no matter how you feel, you’re still gonna be beautiful to me.”
You could hear the sincerity in his voice. As always. You knew he meant it, but still, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed.
You swallowed thickly, heart lodging itself in your throat. “If you keep talking like that, I might actually cry.”
“I’ll grab some tissues too, then,” he responded playfully. “I’ll see you soon, dear.”
Not long after, the doorbell rang.
You groaned, barely able to muster the energy to move. Every part of you ached, the weight of exhaustion pressing down on your body as you forced yourself off the couch. You shuffled toward the door, each step feeling like a small victory, but the effort it took left you feeling hollow. With a sigh, you finally managed to pull the door open.
“Hi.” you said, your voice sounding far weaker than you intended.
“Hey.” His hand brushed against your cheek, and then he pressed a tender kiss there. A gentle touch, a simple gesture, yet it felt like everything you needed in that moment.
“I was right,” he murmured, eyes scanning your face with quiet admiration. “You're definitely still beautiful.”
You felt warmth rushing to your face, your heart fluttering in your chest. It wasn’t the first time he’d called you beautiful, yet each time it still made you feel bashful. It wasn’t just the compliment that made you flustered. It was the sincerity in his voice, the way he looked at you like you were something precious, something worth seeing. Even in your state right now.
Then you noticed it—his own cheeks tinged with a soft flush. You couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was.
Zayne gently nudged you toward the couch. “Go lay down.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but he simply raised a finger. “Ah. No arguing. I'm making you tea, and then we’ll eat.”
You huffed but obeyed, shuffling back to your spot and curling up again. Just as you were about to close your eyes, you called out, “Can you heat more water? For my hot-water bottle?”
“Of course.”
You heard Zayne moving around your kitchen effortlessly, the soft clinking of mugs and utensils blending with the steady rhythm of his steps. The way he navigated your space made something stir deep inside you. The way he cared for you so willingly, with no sign of wanting anything in return, made you feel safe, secure in a way that you hadn't known in a long time.
Before long, he returned, balancing a tray with tea, food, your heated pad and tissues. So he was not joking about that then.
“Sit up,” he instructed gently. “You need to eat something. But don’t force yourself if you don’t feel like it.”
You pushed yourself up and accepted the tea first, inhaling the soothing scent before murmuring, “Thank you.”
You were about to take a sip when your gaze landed on the takeout bag in his hand. “Oh, you actually got me fries and chicken wings!” You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips as you looked at the comfort food you’d craved. It was exactly what you wanted.
Zayne smirked. “And they’re spicy. Just like you wanted.”
You raised a brow. “What happened to having a proper diet?” You’d been so focused on the comfort of the meal that you’d almost forgotten about the usual back-and-forth he always brought up when it came to nutrition.
He shrugged. “It’s better to eat something than nothing. And it’s perfectly fine to satisfy a craving now and then. That said, I did get you something more nutritious as well. I hope you’ll eat it later.”
A fond smile tugged at your lips at his thoughtfulness as you took a bite of a fry. “Thank you, Doctor Zayne.”
Zayne just smiled back, his gaze soft as he settled in beside you. You pulled the hot-water bottle closer, the soothing warmth a welcome relief against your pain, and continued eating. Zayne began eating his portion as well, the two of you slipping into a comfortable silence.
The moment you finished, you let out a deep sigh.
Zayne glanced at you, his brow furrowing just slightly in concern. “Did it not satisfy your craving?”
“It did,” you acknowledged. “But now I feel like eating something sweet.”
He let out an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head fondly as he stood up, gathering the dishes. Before you could even think about getting up to help, he disappeared into the kitchen. Moments later, he returned—with your favorite chocolate.
Your eyes lit up as you immediately reached for it. “You’re the best!”
He chuckled, a warm smile spreading across his face as he sank back into the seat beside you. “I just want to make your day feel better.”
You unwrapped the chocolate, grinning like crazy. “It already is… since you got here.”
“I’m glad.”
His lips curled into that familiar, gentle smile, The kind that always made you feel seen, like you mattered. You almost forgot about the chocolate in your hand as you lost yourself in that moment, wondering if he knew just how much his presence had truly transformed your day. The simple truth was, with him near, everything always felt better. Apparently, even your period.
You brushed the thought away and held out a piece to him. “Now eat it with me, sweet tooth.”
You knew he wouldn’t be able to say no to that. Sure enough, he took a piece, and you munched on the chocolate together.
After a few moments, he tilted his head. “Anything else I can do to make you feel better?”
You hesitated. It wasn’t often you let yourself be vulnerable like this, but with him, it felt natural. You murmured softly, almost shyly, “Maybe just… cuddle with me?”
Without a second thought, he moved closer. “I can do that.”
And he did.
You nestled into him, his arms warm and secure around you. The steady rhythm of his breathing was a lullaby in itself, soothing and calming. You hadn’t even realized when sleep crept up on you.
The last thought you had before drifting off was just how lucky you were—to have the cutest, most caring doctor by your side.
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace fic#lads fluff#lads#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#lads zayne x reader#zayne fluff#zayne x you#zayne li
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Down To You | Eris x Reader
Eris x Reader | The more Eris lets you in, the more he finds himself being pushed and pulled into feelings he's scared to accept.
a/n: We're going back in time for this one ahhh. I know that Eris's POV the night of the breakup was the one that had won the poll. I had that one 40% done but then I listened to Paramore's I Caught Myself & thought why not add a bit more context first? And also add some fluff (if you squint lol) This is roughly around 2K words.
warnings: angst, some fluff, brief implied smut/suggestive content, reader is pregnant/ hidden pregnancy trope
Eris had always been careful about the people he let in.
He was careful with his composure, his secrets, his lovers. Oh, especially, his lovers. His last one had been a pretty female, another noblewoman forced into a loveless marriage with a male thrice her age. She was graceful enough in public and very discreet with personal matters, which is why Eris chose her. He liked that about her.
Her personality though…It absolutely grated him. She was boring and irritating. Sometimes, he even wondered if he hated her. But that had been good. It was safe. There was no danger of losing himself in someone like her. She was predictable and most importantly, easy to walk away from.
Now you? You were none of those things.
You, with your bright eyes—still full of life and hope. That smile that made his chest ache. You were hypnotic, whether you meant to be or not. Some kind of magic you claimed you didn’t possess, though Eris swore he felt the pull of it in his very bones.
He should’ve known the moment he saw you on the dance floor. You moved like the music was yours alone to command. Everyone else had faded into the background. You enchanted the room, unaware or uncaring of how many stares you drew, including his.
Still, he told himself it was harmless. Just one dance.
Then you took his hand, and somehow—step for step, spin for spin—you matched his rhythm like no one else ever had. By the end of it, he was out of breath. From both the dance and you and he needed more.
Just one taste.
You ended up in his bed that night and he devoured you with a hunger he hadn't felt in decades. Something in him—something old and locked away—began to unravel that night. He shouldn’t have let it. Should’ve ignored the ache, should’ve pushed you away after he had his way with you. Instead, he let you fall asleep, tangled in his sheets and his scent, the sweet sounds he’d coaxed from you still lingering in his head.
It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. You weren’t supposed to mean anything. And when you woke up, just an hour later, you surprised him further. Just as you slipped your dress back and so casually admitted it had been your first time.
He’d sat up so fast he nearly knocked you with his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me??”
You blinked up at him. “Would you have still invited me to your bed if you knew?”
His gaze, unintentionally, dropped to your mouth. Gods, that mouth. The way it curved, the way it had driven him mad no more than an hour ago. When his eyes met yours again, he found mischief sparkling there.
“I would’ve been much more gentle,” he murmured.
A beat of silence.
You let out a small exhale. Still flushed, you grinned and said, “Well, you can show me next time.”
Next time.
That was the beginning–the beginning of his downfall.
He hadn't realized how dangerous those two words were until next time turned into come over, and come over became stay the night.
Until your presence bled into every corner of his life—his bedroom, then yours. Until secret walks through the Autumn woods and stolen moments in shadowed corners of the Forest house became frequent.
Eris should’ve known he was doomed when he first brought you to the cabin, his secret haven.
You filled it with the sharp tang of burnt herbs your first day. You had stood by the stove with your brows furrowed, waving at the smoke like it had personally offended you. The kettle hissed, a trail of smoke coming from its spout. The herbs you’d added to it were definitely charred and no good.
Eris leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, an unmistakable glint of amusement in his amber eyes. “For someone who claims to love tea more than anything, you’re remarkably bad at making it.”
You whipped around to face him, cheeks flushed from the heat. Perhaps, embarrassment too. “I’ve never done this myself before!”
He smirked. “So what you’re telling me is, you—the noble lady who demands two spoonfuls of honey, a splash of milk, and leaves steeped for exactly five minutes—doesn’t even know how to turn on a stove.”
You squinted at him, pointing the wooden spoon in your hand like a weapon. “I wasn’t trained in stove operation. I was trained in courtly etiquette, embroidery, and how to pour tea, not brew it.”
“Guess you can’t learn everything from a book, after all, hmm?”
A cheeky jab, referring to your tendency to study those book of yours like sacred texts, especially those smutty romance novels. He liked stirring reactions from you, finding them rather endearing.
You huffed and set the spoon down, officially unarmed, and Eris couldn’t help it. He reached over for the spice jars, not paying mind to which one he grabbed, casually tossing a pinch of it in your direction.
You gasped, nose scrunching up in the most adorable way, blinking fast as you tried to process what had just happened. You let out a cough before shooting him a glare.
“You’re an asshole,” you wheezed, swiping at your nose, though the small curve of your lips betrayed you.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Eris replied, stepping forward just as your hand inched toward the spice jar. He beat you to it, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you so close that it rendered your arms useless.
Brown flecks of powder still dusted your mouth, your nose. His gaze dipped to your lips, then to your watchful eyes before coming back down. Your lips parted, just slightly. And he leaned in to kiss you.
Cinnamon, it had been cinnamon he had thrown your way. He chased the sweetness of you and the spice, a hand reaching for the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss. But the smell of smoke had you pulling away and gasping, “the kettle!”
More smoke curled from the spout in a menacing little cloud. Eris cursed and turned off the stove, using his magic to clear the air out.
“Congratulations, my fair lady, you almost burned down my cabin.”
“You must have given me the wrong instructions!” you accused, pointing dramatically at him, and Eris fought the urge to laugh.
“I told you to turn the knob. That’s all you had to do.”
“That’s exactly what I did,” you insisted. “I have witnesses.”
He raised a brow, following the motion of your hands toward the hounds. Two had opted to lounge inside, snoring softly on the kitchen floor. One of them must’ve sensed your gazes on her for she lifted her head and turned to look at you. With a small huff, the hound rose and made her way to you, nudging your hand with her nose.
Of course. Even the hounds liked you.
He should’ve known then too. His hounds had taken to you immediately. He hadn’t expected that. They didn’t usually warm to strangers, mirroring the same reservations as him. But with you…
“Remind me again,” you said, turning back to the counter to clean up some of your mess. “Why you dragged me to the middle of nowhere?”
“Thought I’d teach you how to cook,” Eris replied casually. In truth, he just wanted to spend more time with you without the dangers that lurked in the forest house. “Can’t have that future husband of yours starving when your staff is out because his lovely wife only knows how to pour tea.”
You paused, a spoon halfway to the sink. “Excuse me?”
“What?” he said innocently, as if he hadn’t just shamed you for being incompetent in the kitchen.(As if he hadn’t secretly sabotaged every noble suitor who came to you, hoping you’d stay unattached a little longer.) “You’ve got a dream, don’t you? Pretty little estate. Charming, respectable husband. Six little monsters running around—”
“I never said anything about six.”
“So just the four then?” he grinned, finding your reaction amusing. “Or maybe three. A nice, odd number. With stupid, little matching names, no doubt.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“And yet, here you are. Let yourself be ‘dragged’ here too.”
“Whatever,” you huffed. Then, you looked around the kitchen. “But what are we supposed to cook?”
“Fish.”
“I don’t see any fish.”
“We’re going to go catch them.”
You blinked. “Catch? With what?”
Eris’s grin widened. “Oh, you’re going to absolutely hate it.”
But you didn’t. Or if you did, you were stubborn enough to pretend otherwise, just to prove him wrong. He wouldn’t have put it past you.
There was a grimace at first as you waded into the river beside him, the cold water lapping around you. You muttered something about how ladies don’t belong in streams, how your mother would faint dead away if she saw you now. Your words faltered when Eris rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. His lips twitched, clearly catching the way your gaze lingered a moment too long.
Then came a sudden squeal as your foot landed on something squishy beneath the surface. Your hands shot out, gripping Eris’s bicep. He was almost certain you’d turn right back around. But as you steadied yourself, you slowly let go of his arm and waited patiently for instructions.
Eris showed you first. The same way he’d taught his brothers once, crouching low and catching a fish effortlessly. Then, whether by beginner’s luck or some favor from the Cauldron, you caught one too.
And promptly squealed again, louder this time, as it flailed violently in your hands and smacked Eris squarely across the face.
You froze in horror, your hands instinctively flying to your mouth, then quickly dropping when the smell of fish hit you.
And you laughed.
The kind of laugh that tipped your head slightly back and made your eyes shine.
He should’ve been annoyed. He remembers clocking Lucien when something similar had occurred during his lesson. All he could do was stare at you as the sunlight danced along your cheeks. Your hair had come undone, your skirts muddied. All elegance had been abandoned and still, somehow, you were the most radiant thing he’d ever seen.
He almost thought it, then.
Almost.
But he caught himself.
Because he couldn’t feel that way about you.
a/n: The last scene between Eris & Jayce happens years after the start of your relationship btw. The power of Paramore has been fueling these past updates. I've been off these past 3 days & all I've been literally doing is writing. It's been nice lol. I'm eager to get to the scenes/parts that I've been playing out in my mind since the beginning of this series.
Also, hope it was somewhat clear that the husband Eris referred to was not himself. At this point, he's close enough to reader to know her dreams and hopes (of her finding a nice husband to settle down with, starting a family, etc) and teases her about it. He does not think of himself in her future, even though he's been lowkey sabotaging it bc he's in denial of his feelings.
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#eris x reader#eris x you#eris x y/n#eris vanserra fanfiction#eris angst#acotar fanfiction#the mark eris left behind
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