#I also don't really like medical (hospital/doctors) related dramas

[androgymagnus]

ohhh my god speaking of house md and brilliant minds comparisons. yikes. like. okay. i understand why people try to start with this. i truly do. i think if you're trying to communicate something you like about the show to someone who hasn't seen it, and you do that by relating it to a very popular medical drama, that's like. i get why you're doing that. but while there's a pretty good common thread here (ie, medical drama starring disabled doctor who will do anything to help his patients and his gaggle of diverse interns) it's.... largely surface level and reductive, because these are two very different shows other than that little logline.

like, their disabilities and how they're handled and what they mean to their characters and how they handle them are very different. (SO different i'm not even gonna get into it. but they serve different purposes you know?) the tone of the whole show is different--my god is the tone different. the shows are actively trying to do different things.

and like (this one deserves its own line) while i personally believe house is very empathetic and cares about his patients under All That, uh, All That still exists, and does not excuse any kindness he might have under All That, and All That is still a problem (ie yes he will go to any lengths to cure his patient but he will also call them and their whole family slurs. blah blah blah complex character motivations and trauma the effect is still bad no matter the cause) and anyway, that's just what i think from his characterization, generally, he is still incredibly rude and caustic and you could certainly argue for the reading that he actually cares about the puzzle, not the patient. and even if you, like me, believe he deeply cares about his patients even when he doesn't want to, he still largely focuses far more on their literal health than their feelings or lived experience in the hospital. he'll save your life but he'll be a dick the whole time. he'll make patients cry and not really care. meanwhile dr wolf cares about his patient's lived experiences, how they feel, not just their literal physical health. that is literally his entire approach: getting to know them as people, treating them with kindness and understanding when other doctors have brushed over them or signed them off as a lost cause. rather than any kindness/empathy being subtext or shown through certain actions, it's the text.

now, i'm not saying this makes dr wolf a better character than house (a better person, perhaps!) or even a more complex character, since again. they are very different characters serving very different purposes. house is a deeply fucked up little man dealing with very bad chronic pain, childhood trauma, probably repressed bisexuality but let's not go there, etc., and he lashes out. he's a complex character, he's sympathetic but not a victim, he's an asshole but often you like him anyway. wolf is serving a different purpose as a character--i'd say his speech about harold in the first episode really speaks to it. like. he cares, about things other doctors don't, that even house probably wouldn't (depending on the episode and season probably). he's got his own backstory, albeit one we don't know all of yet, that plays into how he interacts with people now and why he is the way he is.

like. agh. gestures frusturatedly. there are interesting contrasts one could make here between these two characters (for example: if we buy that house is deeply empathetic, he deals with this by not wanting to get attached to patients at all, refusing to see them directly, and treating them like puzzles, because when he does see them as a person it hurts more when they die; meanwhile dr wolf does the exact opposite and loathes the idea of seeing patients as their diseases, as a puzzle, but as a consequence gets maybe even too attached every single time, which, while admirable, can lead to burnout or just, you know, getting fired or being a bit single-minded with blinders on trying to save them), but ultimately, it's kind of apples and oranges (that previous parenthetical is fun and all but they have very different backstories and motivations and context and that's kind of just isolating one thing, you know?) and seeing people uncritically compare the two is at least mildly irksome. they have, again, wildly different backstories and motivations.

these shows are trying to do different things! neither one of them is better than the other (i think i'm enjoying brilliant minds more personally, although with only seven episodes out to house's eight seasons i think it's a bit of an unfair judgment to try and make objectively as of yet) because they are trying to do different things. they just happen to be medical dramas about a doctor who will do anything to cure their patient, which is, when you think about it, a very broad category. you could throw in 'and he's disabled!' but let's be real, their disabilities (and how they're handled and interact with the plot) are very different.

the point is, i understand why people make this comparison but i think it's a little reductive and misguided. but at the same time like, i get it, trying to get across something in an easy to understand way when you're trying to convince someone to watch the show, just--don't go giving them the wrong impression! if someone goes into brilliant minds expecting house md, and they like different things about that show than you did, they're gonna end up being disappointed

anyway, disorganized ramble: end. hope it somewhat made sense

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2024)

...Okay, so. Last year, I was like "Oh man, 2023 was even more awful than 2022! I hope things improve in 2024!" Yeah... It turns out I just did not actually know the meaning of "awful" until I met 2024.

I mentioned some of the drama at my work in earlier posts this year (we literally don't even know who is going to be leading us starting in January because the vice president quit two weeks before the end of the semester with zero notice... ha... ha... and then the day Fall 2024 grades were due all of our IT systems collapsed on themselves, so students can't even register; all of our classes are currently extremely under-enrolled and some people might not even meet their contract requirements so there might be layoffs)--and I posted a bit ago about someone hitting my car during the one period of my life where I had an expired driver's license...

But I've also been dealing with some other stuff I didn't share earlier, because I was just feeling really down about it all:

In August, my doctors found an unidentified mass in the soft tissue near my hip; further ultrasounds and MRIs have determined I have both a mass in the tissue and, below that, a tumor in the bone marrow of my pelvis. It's still unknown whether the masses are cancerous or not; I have a specialist appointment in January for further action. Just like back in 2021, I'm now being hit with over $1000 in medical bills with more to follow as they continue to monitor the problems.

My 91-year-old grandmother entered hospice in late November and is living out her final days; my family are all fighting over what to do about her situation because she does not have enough insurance or savings to cover the costs of a longer-term stay in in-patient hospice care.

The air conditioning unit in the home I live in in Texas leaked through the ceiling and nearly caused a cave-in. It needs to be entirely replaced before it can be used again ($3500, homeowner's insurance will not cover the unit, only the water spots on the ceiling... thanks...).

And finally, the home I own in Utah experienced a complete pipe failure under the concrete slab foundation of the house, which will require massive portions of the beautiful laminate flooring I installed just a few years ago to be torn out, the entire foundation slab to be jackhammered into pieces, and will cost upwards of $10,000 to repair, also with the homeowner's insurance refusing to pay a penny.

Trump got re-elected.

So like, 2024 was probably the second worst year of my life (next to 2021, the year I got long COVID and spent three and a half months going in and out of the hospital while a tree fell through my house, the dog I had for twelve years died, and the storms in Texas shorted out the circuits in my house, causing the house to rack up thousands of dollars in power bills while I was in the hospital and couldn't fix the problem, la la la...)

Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a pity party, just a preface to explain: I failed so, so, so many promises because I just couldn't accomplish a single thing this year without a disaster occurring. I tried... Really I did...

Here's how it went:

2024 Promises

1) Step down from my administrative position and return to being a full-time faculty member. I literally cannot take the clown show that is admin at my work anymore. It is actually killing me.

Status: Broken. BUT I TRIED. I submitted my resignation letter and everything and my boss just said no??? I wasn't aware that "We don't accept your resignation" was an actual thing that could happen, but it happened to me. (Apparently, an employer can't stop you from quitting but they can stop you from stepping down from an elected position when you're on contract for that position... RIP.)

2) Related to this, redecorate my new office as soon as they decide where they are going to move me.

Status: Broken. I wasn't allowed to leave my office, so I didn't have a different office to decorate either. 🥲

3) Apply for new jobs!! APPLY FOR NEW JOBS!!!

Status: Kept. I actually did this, and even did an interview or two. However, I didn't like the places I interviewed and also did the math and realized a lot of them would pay less than I'm currently making... It's a bad sign when your job is this shitty and other schools still give you the vibe that they'd be worse!!

4) Train my replacement in the chair position well so they are super prepared to take over in fall.

Status: Somewhat kept. While I technically did not have a replacement, my new assistant is much, much more involved than my prior assistant, so he got a lot of training and I think he will be ready to take over when my contract expires.

5) Put a new sink/vanity in the downstairs bathroom of the Utah house.

Status: Broken. It's hard to do this when the piping decides to explode so you have to pay $10,000 to refloor the basement instead. YUP.

6) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.

Status: Kept. I didn't get them sanded; I ended up doing it myself though. They're not perfect but they're usable for now.

7) Finally get rid of the dirt pile in front of the Utah house.

Status: Broken. I just... did not have the mental or physical capability to do this.

8) Take down the remains of the wooden fence posts at the Utah house.

Status: Broken. Okay so I said this wouldn't be a pity party, but the reason so many of the Utah house promises specifically were broken this year is that the people who were staying in the house moved out with zero notice in July and literally left the house an absolute disaster. Like, hundreds of dollars in damage to the house. THERE WERE ROTTEN POTATOES GROWING ROOTS INTO THE PANTRY WALLS, GUYS. THERE WAS BIRD SHIT ON THE CEILINGSSSS. So literally every ounce of energy I had planned to use for DYI projects was instead spent deep cleaning up that nightmare.

9) Fully clean out and prepare the Utah house to be rented out to new renters. Hopefully the next people won’t sneak in a parrot that poops all over the floor… RIP…

Status: Kept. But, as above mentioned--it was a fucking nightmare. I bought a brand new stove last summer and when I opened it, it was completely BLACK inside. Literally the entire inner surface of the stove was CAKED in black grease as if they had just cooked meat straight on the oven rack without even a pan. I almost committed murder on the spot; y'all were about to see me on the 10 o'clock Utah news, not even gonna lie.

10) Clean off my back patio/car port area so I can park my car there again.

Status: Broken. I just... did not do this.

11) Call the plumber and replace the faucets. Even if I end up having to do it myself.

Status: Broken. I had no money to do this.

12) Get the dead tree removed from the Texas house yard and call the internet company to see about the cable around the tree root.

Status: Kept. I cut the tree down myself with a mini chainsaw. It was pretty sick. Also, the cable is old and dead so we chopped it up.

13) Plant roses where the old ones died in front of the Texas house. 

Status: Broken. I'm actually not sure what I was even thinking of with this one; I leave Texas in the summers so there's no point in planting plants that will just die in the summer heat when they don't get watered...

14) Replace my CPU fan; the bearings are going out and it’s making an annoying noise.

Status: Technically kept? In that I just bought a whole brand-new computer so, hey, I don't have to hear the old fan anymore lol. Love it for me that I bought a $1100 computer a month before getting diagnosed with tumors and racking up thousands in medical bills, then having my AC unit fail, then having the plumbing explode in my house. LOVE IT FOR ME.

15) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them. 

Status: Technically kept, in that, again, I got a new computer so there's like... nothing on it. I'll be better at organizing the documents this coming year... maybe...?

16) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2023 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.

Status: LOL. Broken. If I thought the stress eating was bad last year, you can guess what it was like this year. I feel like I should also clarify that one of the potential causes of the tumors near and in my pelvis is that last year I fell and fractured said pelvis so I couldn't actually do any meaningful exercise for months and the increasing pain from that lingering injury is what drove me to doctor to check the area in the first place, which is how I found out I have said tumors. ...Yay.

17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that paint program I bought. 

Status: Broken. I... yeah... I didn't do this.

18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year, but I hope I can make progress on this.

Status: HA. "I'm still paying off the hell year." OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. You had no idea what was coming...

19) Buy all the Noragami volumes I am missing and do a complete re-read of Noragami now that the series is finishing up.

Status: Somewhat kept. I did get the final volume at last so I should have them all now, but I still need to do the re-read. Mood's been pretty low so "Abuse: The Manga" was not at the top of my reading list this last year. 😂

20) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.

Status: Broken. I forgot I made this promise. Next year for sure. T_T

21) Finish at least five books this year.

Status: Broken, maybe? I actually can't remember how many books I read this year because the year is such a nightmarish blur to me. I think it was close but since I can't confirm, I'm just gonna say I didn't make it.

22) Update HaaH at least once. Please, Echo???

Status: Broken. I sure would have loved to have a single bit of mental capacity left to write anything this year, but I didn't. At all.

23) Reach the new level cap with all jobs in FFXIV!

Status: Broken. I feel like this is the most shocking broken promise on the list actually, but I kinda... stopped playing FF throughout this year...

24) Go to the graduation ceremony for my family friend.

Status: Broken. I feel really bad about this, but the timing did not work out--I wasn't able to take enough time off work to go. I did watch the livestream though!

25) Catch up with hanging up all the charms/pins I’ve gotten recently on my corkboards; these are just sitting in boxes/bags around the house. D;

Status: Actually kept. I'm impressed with myself.

26) Fully deep clean and vacuum/detail my own car at home. No more of the “It doesn’t make sense to clean it out now; the dog is just going to go back in it.” The dog is always going to go back in it. Clean it, Echo.

Status: "But I'm going to travel again in just a few weeks. I'll do it after I get back." - Echo, who very much did not detail her car.

27) Help my parents tear out the carpet in my old childhood bedroom.

Status: Broken. It's kind of hard to pull out carpet when there's no place to move the room's furniture to, lol. 2025 though! That'll be the year!

28) See at least three new species of birds. Doesn’t matter where, just three new ones!

Status: Kept and exceeded--I saw eight new species this year, including my first species of cuckoo!

29) Reach 3500 followers. Can I do it? You should follow me if you’re not already; I’m pretty cool. Just sayin’!

Status: Kept. Thanks for following me, guys! I hope that 2025 will give me less trouble so I can go back to posting a bit more reguarly.

30) Cancel all the subscriptions I don’t need. There’s literally no reason to sit around letting companies passively profit off me when I don’t even really use the services/the services keep getting worse while the costs keep going up.

Status: Kept. Fuck you, Netflix. Fuck you, Spotify. Fuck you, Amazon Prime. I'm free!!

31) Go out on at least a day trip to take pictures with my friend. We haven’t done this in quite some time. I need to touch grass.

Status: Kept. We went out to an arboretum and had a lovely day. Here are a few of the photos I took:

32) Repair the lovely one-of-kind ceramic plate that my dog broke with kintsugi. I want to try it at least once!

Status: Broken. I keep asking for one of those "food safe" kintsugi kits for Christmas but I think my family can't spell the word well enough to even search it up online lol.

33) Really look hard for my passport in my house. It’s been missing for like a year and a half now, and I don’t want to have to pay for a new one.

Status: Kept. I did honestly look pretty hard for it, I just never found it. I was also informed by the good old DMV that the passport is now super expired anyway, so I guess there is no point to keep looking.

34) Put all the small prints, postcards, and stickers I have collected in my new mini-print books. I can even use up washi tape to decorate too. (Finally, a purpose for the washi tape…)

Status: Broken. I did not do this. I did buy the small books and collected all the small prints to put in the books, but I did not actually put them in, let alone use the washi tape to do so lol. A project for next year, I guess.

35) Shred the million pieces of old mail I have lying around the house. I finally got the shredder so it just makes sense to use it.

Status: Somewhat kept. I made progress!! I did not shred ALL the things, but I did shred some of the things. That's something...

36) Have more follow-through with chores. It’s not enough to wash the clothes or do the dishes if I then procrastinate on folding the clean laundry and putting the dried dishes back in the cabinets…

Status: Actually, somehow of all things, this was kept. I think because my life was sooo bad in ways outside my control this year that I ended up compensating by overdoing it on things I could control. I definitely had a cleaner house in 2024 than before.

37) Put reminders for birthdays and major events in my phone as well as set a monthly reminder to check these promises. Maybe I’ll be able to keep more promises if I look at the list more often throughout the year!

Status: Kept. I did put the reminders in my phone. I wasn't that great at actually following through and buying cards/hosting parties (nor at keeping the promises) but I did set the reminders lol.

38) Since I can’t afford to go to the salon, spa, etc. too much this year, I should at least do some self-care days at home. Will this be the year I finally manage to use all the fancy scrubs and face masks and bath salts I keep getting from people?

Status: Somewhat kept. Honestly, I feel like I should count this as kept just for the fact that I did finally, FINALLY use the sugar scrub I bought like five years ago, which is the specific item that prompted this promise in the first place. IT'S GONE. I USED IT. I also used like... one of the masks people bought. But it was not as nice of an experience as I thought it would be. I don't know why I didn't anticipate that it would be a cold and slimy feeling lolol.

39) Use up one whole notebook. It doesn’t matter what goes in the notebook, but I gotta use the whole thing from cover to cover. I have so many pretty notebooks that never get used just because they’re pretty.

Status: Broken. I really don't write by hand that much... I just type... And that's when I'm even writing at all... Oof.

40) Change the burned-out lightbulbs in the recessed lighting in the Texas house ceiling. It’s like twelve feet high and the lightbulb changer stick I bought didn’t work, so I’m going to have to find someone with a ladder. Save me, handyman. Save me.

Status: Broken. I have executive dysfunction specifically for the act of calling people to ask them to come fix things. There are probably so many handymen available in my town and yet. The lightbulbs are not changed.

41) Build the pretty koi paper lantern my brother got me, or the Korean temple model my coworker gave me after his trip to Korea.

Status: Broken. I hid under my covers instead of doing anything productive or artistically creative this year.

42) Actually use the yoga mat I bought forever ago. At least a few times, please???

Status: Broken. I feel like I at least have a slight excuse for this one; after my fall last year, I had massive pain from my fractured pelvis that actually grew in intensity over time, so doing certain stretches or heavy exercise was pretty much right out. Turns out that still feeling pain from a fall that took place a year ago is not normal; those are tumors, Echo. I'm hoping that dealing with that situation this year will help relieve some of the pain and make it easier to exercise again.

43) Finish watching the Fruits Basket remake with Kacchan. I think we stopped in the second season, RIP.

Status: I'm going to count this as kept because we have just four more episodes left and we will definitely be able to finish them within the first week of 2025. IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, OKAY.

44) Spend more time with coworkers—go out to lunch more often.

Status: Kept. I don't think that I really managed to go out to lunch with people that much more often, but I did overall spend more time with coworkers I think; we started getting group tickets to the community theater and saw several plays together this year.

45) See about removing the PMI from at least one of my house loans to try to save money. I’ve been paying on these loans long enough I shouldn’t need PMI anymore.

Status: Broken. I really needed to do this honestly but I didn't.

46) Practice my German skills (or I guess other language skills?) by translating something at least once a month.

Status: Broken. I just... did not do this.

47) Get a new bookshelf. The current ones in both my office and foyer are already overflowing. @_@

Status: Kept! But... I promptly filled the entire new bookshelf, so... I need another new bookshelf already lmaooo.

48) Make more time to call people and talk on the phone. Texting is not the same. D;

Status: Kept! I talked to my lovely friend Kacchan on the phone soooo much more this year!

49) Get the new COVID vaccine to stay healthy.

Status: Kept. I did not get sick for Christmas this year; one bright spot!

50) I will keep my promises! 

Status: Ehhhhhh... A little here, a little there, as always. I guess it could have been worse!

Kept promises: 19

Somewhat kept/broken: 5

Broken: 26

See yah tomorrow for 2025's new promises!

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 7 Minagoroshi pt. 3

Genuine question here for readers, since I read further ahead than where these posts indicate do you want me to stop putting vague "guesses" or jokes about how I know about imminent forthcoming plot elements? Would you rather I just directly talk about how plot thing Z happens shortly, make my vague insinuations, or just stop mentioning it entirely? The other option is I just read, and when something cool/unpredicted happens post about that. (this question ripped from later on in the post because I felt it broke the flow somewhat.) Also, I don't know if anyone saw it earlier, but this is not the first part three.

Shortly after telling Hanyuu to shut it, Rika muses on how Keiichi being able to remember events from Onikakushi last chapter is a miracle. Using this as a motivational tool Rika decides to fight her fate more earnestly than she had done in the past. I haven't posted about it in the playthrough here yet, but this chapter so far is a lot more meta than previous chapters with its outright fourth wall breaks and remarks about the medium.

After this is a TIP section written from someone's grandfather explaining to the recipient of the TIP that their committing suicide because they can't handle how many days he might have left to live. Also that he feels like he's a humiliated man because he is unable to leave any of his achievements to the world. Basically that he's upset that he will be forgotten. He then beseeches the recipient to do better than him. To achieve something. It ends with the rather grandiose statement that the recipient must achieve godhood.

I don't really know who this TIP is explicitly written to, given some dialogue from later on in the chapter I certainly have my theories.

I always did kind of wonder what the deal with those little nurse hats were. You always see them in period dramas with hospitals, but some time around the nineties they seem to have just went away entirely. Maybe there was some sort of medical reason for them, but probably it's just some doctor way back in the day had a thing for women in hats. I was going to make a crack about doctors with hats, but the only ones who really wear any sort of head wear are surgeons.

I think Ryukishi07 has a thing for nurses. Every other version of Takano has a longer skirt. Not that I blame him, sometimes you gotta do things for you.

I know they'll say what it is later (to clarify they haven't identified the disease yet), but I do wonder what Satoko has. I sincerely doubt it'll be an actual disease, and it'll be something like anime mom disease, but I do wonder what it is. I believe I mentioned it in the past, but there's so much incidental dialogue that gets thrown around in these early parts of the chapter that gives off the impression that this will be the final chapter. Stuff like Irie talking about how he's going to find a cure for death, Rika's last ditch effort to fight fate, etc.

I like Hanyuu, she seems like a good kid, god child, thing. I find her pretty relatable with how she doesn't like to hang around Rika being a downer while talking to Irie. Honestly, how often do you find yourself not wanting to hang out with someone for a minute because they're just such a constant bummer to be around?

I know she's not a doctor, but I guess this goes to show the difference between medical doctors and psychologists huh? It probably doesn't say great things that the eleven year old kid looking at a Rorschach's interpretation is butterfly sex, but then again like Rika alludes to, whatever she saw it as during her time as an abuse victim is probably miles worse. I probably should've used psychiatrist there, but I think you get my point.

I knew it was bound to happen, but honestly I like the fact that we're finally learning more about Irie, and Takano. It makes them much more interesting than just being their relatively one note selves from previous chapters. Sure we knew that Takano is an occult fangirl weirdo, but it's also funny to learn about how she apparently has a big stuffed animal collection. It's kind of like learning about how when a game development company back in the nineties approached H.R. Giger about using his art in their game he answered the door wearing basically a dracula cape, but he kept giving the developers tea and cookies. Then afterwards he kept sending them birthday cards and new years cards with just fluffy adorable rabbits on em.

Or with Irie he's not just a lolicon maid fetishist he's actually pretty serious about his job. Of course I also like the fact that these two are getting a chance to be actual characters this time around, and not just they show up for one section and then immediately either leave the plot entirely or die. Or both.

[misscrawfords]

3, 35 and 40 for the book ask :)

3. Already answered!

35. What do you think of Ebooks?

Mixed feelings. I much prefer physical copies of books. However, I am a book borrower not a book buyer and my library is extremely slow at getting new books, especially more obscure books not originally published in the UK, if it gets them at all. And then there's a really long waiting list. So I see online there's a new diverse romance come out I want to read - chances of my library getting anytime soon are practically nil. I started borrowing or buying ebooks which are cheaper and reading on my phone - not a lot but enough that I finally bought a Kindle last month. Do I feel good supporting Amazon? No. But it did seem like the best way to be able to read certain books and I was getting tired of reading a lot on my phone - a Kindle has better visibility. I can also see the benefits when travelling. Don't worry though - 90% of what I read is still paperbacks. If I had a choice I'd always go for that.

40. Has there ever been a book you wish you could un-read?

Yes, actually. Two spring to mind, both from my childhood. The first was a totally age-appropriate story about a boy, possibly called Luke, whose brother had leukemia. It was one of those children/YA (I guess it would be Middle Grade these days) books with a Worthy Theme that Kids Might Relate To to Help Them With Difficult Stuff. Not my sort of book even then but for some reason I got hold of it. It really, really upset me. I started becoming terrified of getting cancer, of someone I loved getting cancer, of dying, of loved ones dying...

The second was a biography of the cellist Jaqueline du Pre that my uncle bought me as a present when I was 10. My uncle has a habit of misjudging presents but I didn't know that and while this wasn't a kid's book, I guess it looked innocuous enough. This may seem totally different to the above book but it really isn't. Du Pre developed the condition of MS and the biography went into detail about her condition and its effect on her life including her sex life (which I found morbidly fascinating without really understanding it) and eventually her decline and death. Like the above book, this absolutely grabbed me and obsessed me and scared me.

Basically, I cannot engage with fiction that deals with terminal illness, especially cancer. I just can't. I can't watch medical dramas - I can't even deal with Call the Midwife! To this day I will not read any book that has this kind of plotline or theme. All through my teenage years, I refused to read any book that didn't have a happy ending. It was only when studying Greek forced me to engage with Greek tragedy that I started to let in a couple of "sad stories". Even now I will always take happy endings over sad ones, I avoid angst and I never touch misery porn stories. I can deal with the genre of Tragedy (as in Greek or Shakespeare) because it is not so much sad as inevitable, if you get the difference. Chekhov is on a very thin line. In real life too I find terminal illness, hospitals, doctors really awful, more than is normal, I think. A lot of my friends at school wanted to become doctors - I would do literally any other career. It's my nightmare. Whether my horror of these things came before these two books or not I don't know, but I do remember they had a really profound and negative effect on me and I really wish I hadn't read them at that point in my life.

[tardis--dreams]

So, if anyone has any recommendations for dramas with similar vibes as beyond evil and the devil judge I'd be more than grateful to hear them

(so essentially, I'd like something without (too much) romance, ideally queer coded, suspenseful/thriller vibes, good chemistry between main characters..)

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Guess who it is! That's right, your least fave anon! Okay so 2 updates here -

1. Life update! Very stressy! Very much enjoying absurdist literature and also crying! Great time!

2. Fandomy stuff! I am LOVING the David drama (still not on the new season yet whoops). Literally so much fun rip David I'm having a blast. Also re the doctor who autism conversation every classic who companion is neurodivergent especially Turlough who is either autistic coded or kian anon coded. Also also back to the David thing Literally love this man sm when I first started gendering I considered calling myself David for unrelated reasons and now I regret not going with that this man I stg

- Kian anon (making no sense because I am living off coffee and stress and sore heads)

Oh hi there Kian anon!! Great to hear from you :) Very sorry to hear you've been so stressed, I hope things improve for you soon. 💜

I'm a bit 50/50 on the David storyline, it's been written well and acted VERY well but I still just don't really feel like they should have done it. It's probably a better watch if you haven't seen the Holby storyline it's a ripoff of, though (the 2017 hospital shooting). I guess I just think the shooting part is too melodramatic, and it's a blatant copy of the Henrik and Fredrik storyline from Holby. And the thing about that storyline was it worked for Henrik's character because he always sort of felt like he belonged in something more melodramatic, like a gothic novel or something. Whereas David is just a normal guy in a medical drama. I feel like it kind of takes away from David's relatability as a character in a way it didn't for Henrik. Idk. Jason Durr has been amazing though, someone should give the man a BAFTA.

I don't know enough about Classic Who to weigh in, but I shall take your word for it! Personally I tend to find a lot of the DW characters I see as autistic are the ones people don't really point out as much. I mean, undeniably the Doctor is coded (and with Twelve it was blatantly just intentional... I mean, come on, social cue cards?), and I feel like autistic!Bill is a pretty popular take and I've seen very good arguments for her being on the spectrum so I adopted that headcanon too. But the other ones for me are Ashildr* and also... Nick, I think his name was, from this year's New Year special? And I don't see people bring them up a lot. I've also occasionally seen autistic!Clara headcanons and I like that idea, because Clara being autistic and just very good at masking would add a lot to her dynamic with the very visibly autistic Twelve, but I go back and forth on it. I think really though, Doctor Who is just a very autistic show anyway lol so it's no wonder so many autism headcanons spring up from it.

(* - I actually rewatched The Girl Who Died and The Woman Who Lived just recently and yeah, I'm still clinging tight to autistic!Ashildr. She is absolutely textbook autistic in TGWD, and I know it doesn't really show through in any of her other episodes but you can put that down to her having hundreds of years to learn to mask.)

[snowydaffodils]

Exhilarating

1741 words | 3rd Person POV

Another short fluff - this time with Seventeen's Josh!

Synopsis: Everything was dull and boring, but when she entered the room, she was like a breath of fresh air.

---

Despite the well designed interior and the fancy vases that decorated the room, it didn't push away the feeling of unfamiliarity and solitude that Joshua had felt since he arrived - or at the very least became aware of his surroundings. He didn't feel the isolation as much when he first came, because his vision (and memory) was blurry. He remembered people talking around him, and he remembered being taken from one place to another, but he didn't remember what they were saying exactly, or where they brought him to. When he came to, they told him he collapsed on pre-recording, and they had to immediately bring him to the hospital.

Joshua sighed. While the room was probably one of the most luxurious ones he'd been in, there was an odd unsettling feeling that disturbed him as he lay there, alone. It didn't help that he was wearing hospital clothes instead of his own and also that he was stuck to an IV drip. Just in between the door and floor, he saw shadows that stood tensely beyond his room, and he could guess them as the assigned security for him - just in case one of those sasaengs reached him somehow.

With the window shutters being closed down, it further elongated his feeling of being boxed in, as Vernon would've phrased it. His members were off to another schedule that he later would have to make up for, so nobody would be on the group chat. He would've called his mom to push away the loneliness, but it would have been barely dawn in Los Angeles.

The ceiling, once a comfortable target to place his sights on, slowly grew dull and boring, so he moved to lay sideways instead, facing the door. It was then when he heard noises and steps coming towards his direction, and the shadows under the door moved around for the first time.

His eyes perked up to see who was coming, hoping it would be his manager, or one of the members who finished their schedules early and came to see him. Instead of them, a white coat caught his eyes, the person in it fiddling with the notes she was holding as she entered the room.

"Mr. Hong, right?" she smiled, pulling up her glasses as she approached him. "Hong Jisoo."

The way she called him was cheerful and perky, and it brought a different light to enter the room. It suddenly didn't seem so sullen, and for that, Joshua was happy she entered, whoever she may be.

"Yes?" he managed, as he pulled himself up to sit straight and look at her properly.

"Good morning," she cheered, and he noticed that she was looking directly into his eyes. While he was used to direct eye-contact in America, Koreans tend to deem that action impolite, so he didn't really expected it. Even so, he had always thought of eye contact as an important element in communicating - it shows just how much attention you were getting from the other person. Her eyes seemed bright as he returned the contact, and the mere fact that they were looking into each other's eyes played a huge part in lightening up the room.

"Morning," Joshua replied, trying to smile back as politely as he could, despite the heaviness of his head while keeping his body upright.

"Oh, you shouldn't move too much!" she said upon seeing him. "You were running a high fever, on top of that you were dehydrated and overworked, too. Your temperature went down slightly, but you're still in a feverish range," she said quickly, adjusting the small tube that was connected to his arm.

"I feel better, though," Joshua reasoned, giving the girl a small smile to support his subjective argument. She puffed and blew the little bangs annoying her eyes away and placed her hands on her hips.

"Better doesn't equal good enough," she said, the look in her eyes clearly opposing his attempts to be let go. "Besides, take this opportunity to actually rest, okay? Its a big fancy room with fancy lighting, a TV and good speakers, and we'll get you food in a moment. You can't argue that this is not heaven," she rambled, pointing at his surroundings.

Joshua laughed, he had never met a doctor like this one. "You have a point," he said. "But, do you think you can move me to another room? Preferably with people?"

She blinked. "You want to switch rooms?"

Joshua looked around, there was a nurse standing right behind this doctor girl, and his security guard had stepped inside since the girl entered. They all looked at him weird and obviously against the idea, so he just nodded timidly and sighed.

"Its just that," the girl waited for his response patiently, her hands back on her the edge of his bed and the other on her notes. Joshua continued, unsure of himself as well. "It gets too quiet, and uh, silence gets pretty uncomfortable for me."

She gave him one look and spared a few seconds for her thoughts before she returned him with a reply. "Well, your manager told me its best you're not even seen by anyone at all, for your safety."

Of course he did. Joshua didn't doubt that, and he understood those orders completely, so he just nodded, accepting defeat. Worth a try though.

But she wasn't quite finished. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, checked her screen for a while before coming back to him. "I can stay with you and chat if it helps," she grinned. "People call me a chatterbox, so why not put it to good use, right?"

"Are you not busy?" Joshua asked, pretty set aback by her suggestion, but was not against it.

She shook her head, swaying her bangs left and right before giving him a reassuring smile. "Not if nobody's calling for me. You're actually free to go after this drip," she points at the hanging liquid with the notes on her hand, "All you have to do is wait for your manager to pick you up. After all, your fever did go down, and we'll give you acetaminophens to take. What you really need is food and rest."

While the rest of the people in the room looked at her weirdly at her offer to be a chatterbox, she paid no mind to it and grabbed herself a chair to sit on by Joshua's bed. Joshua, on the other hand, just nodded numbly, unsure of what kind of reaction he should give, or what words to say. He had no reason to refuse, though, so he said nothing.

"You guys can go," she dismissed the nurses who followed immediately, and the security guard simply eyed her for a few seconds before returning to his post. She was the assigned doctor, after all, he couldn't (and shouldn't) restrict her from her patient.

Once they all left, Joshua blurted the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue. "So, do you stay to chat with all the patients you meet?"

She settled in her seat and gave him an ambiguous smile - one Joshua understood to not be completely genuine, but wasn't fake either. "Just the ones that seem particularly lonely."

"And," Joshua paused, picking his words carefully. "You don't have other lonely patients?"

She chuckled. Pressing her fist on her cheeks, she rephrased his question for him, "You mean why aren't I busy treating other patients?" The question stunned him for a while. He didn't expect her to be that direct, especially to her patient; but to be honest, he didn't mind it one bit.

Usually, when this kind of situation happened - where a conversation turned too straightforward for him to handle, Joshua would've chuckled awkwardly and politely, and just nodded or something to move on from the discomfort. But this time, he didn't know if it was because his head was still revolving, or if it was because he'd spent too much time with Jeonghan, but he didn't take the polite route and just directly returned her question with another one. He simply nodded. "Yeah, sure, if you care to tell?"

The response wasn't one she was used to receiving, so she was a bit flustered at the blunt exchange for a few seconds. "Huh," she huffed, but smiled. "I guess I'm assigned to do the extra stuff. Nobody wants to talk to patients and their guardians if its nothing medical related. Doctors are awkward that way. They prefer to research, write papers, and explore surgeries. And so they pushed me here," she gestured to the room around her. "To the VIP wards."

Before Joshua could take offense into her words, she disclaimed, "Not that you're 'extra stuff', but you must understand that some VIP patients can be," she gave him an awry grin, one that was indicating something negative, as she searched for the right word. She didn't seem to find one, but eventually settled with the description: "Exhilarating," which she worded with a shoulder shrug, indicating that it wasn't the correct word at all.

Joshua just laughed at her antics, wondering if the medical dramas about VIP patients actually happen in real life that she would describe them that way. "Would you say I'm - well - exhilarating, then?"

At this point, her smile was no longer ambiguous. Looking like she was in deep thought, she answered, "You're a different kind of exhilarating." Her dimples further accentuated the honesty in her smile. "I mean, obviously, you're well aware that you have got the looks," she reasoned, not at all embarrassed to compliment him, which was different for a change - but a good different.

"That I do," Joshua grinned. He was an idol, after all, he should be confident in his visuals.

"And you're young - not many VIPs are as young," she continued, still thinking of more answers. "And most people would've reprimanded me for speaking so casually and bluntly to a patient about her work. They'd say I was rude."

Joshua snickered. "Should I, then? Reprimand you, I mean?"

Her eyes rounded at his statement, and then she suddenly clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "I would reaaally, reaaaally appreciate it if you don't."

He laughed. This girl is really something.

"What was your name, again? Can I call you by name?" Joshua asked, visibly more comfortable.

And she returned him with another ambiguous smile.

---

[yourkdramaanalyst]

A REVIEW OF MY FAVORITE NETFLIX ORIGINAL KOREAN DRAMA: HOSPITAL PLAYLIST

https://t.co/fkqOasA6Tk

Hello, K-Drama fans! I stepped out of Tumblr for more or less than a month. It's a good thing that I didn't forget I have a blog here. Lol. I've been busy so I wasn't able to cross out most of the dramas on my list. But the drama I am about to review right now is actually a series that I already crossed out of my list twice! So what made me watch Hospital Playlist for the second time?

• Introduction to the Drama

Short Gist:

It's about five friends who used to be school mates in medical school, who are now working at the same hospital.

Director Shin Won Ho and screen writer Lee Woo Jung previously worked on the famous Reply series (which are a work of art!)

The five main characters are (from left to right) Jo Jung Seok, Jeon Mi Do, Jung Kyoung Ho, Yoo Yeon Seok, and Kim Dae Myung . Quite an interesting line-up, huh?

Yoo Yeon Seok also appeared in many dramas and movies. He's in this industry for 17 years now (if my calculations are correct). He was in dramas Dr. Romantic, Gu Family Book, Reply 1994, etc. Yeon Seok has starred in many medical dramas already.

Jo Jung Seok, an award winning actor, has starred in many dramas and movies. He appeared in dramas The King 2hearts, Oh My Ghost, Jealousy Incarnate, etc. He's a good rom-com and drama actor.

Jung Kyoung Ho has been appearing in the small screen since 2004 and has already landed in many roles. He was in Beating Again, Missing Nine, and Prison Playbook. If you noticed, he was Yoon Seri's ex-boyfriend in Crash Landing On You, which was just a special appearance.

Kim Dae Myung is more of a big screen guy. He has been appearing in movies since 2012. Some of other dramas where he starred are Misaeng: Incomplete Life and The Sound of Your Heart.

The only woman in the main cast is originally a play and musical actress. She's a fresh face in the world of K-drama. Jeon Mi Do had her first role 2 years ago in a drama called Mother. She appeared in a movie called Metamorphosis last year and finally, had her second role this year in Hospital Playlist.

A second season of the drama is to be expected next year. 😉

• The Experience

As I mentioned earlier, I've already watched this drama twice! It's not even that long since I watched this for the first time, and I just finished watching it again.

The first time I watched Hospital Playlist, I didn't know what it was all about. I was actually just having a phase where all I wanted to watch was medical dramas (yes... that's true, even though I am not a med student or anything related) so I clicked on it immediately as soon as all of the episodes were released on Netflix. But as soon as I finished watching the first episode, I couldn't really stop myself from watching more.

Typically, I enjoy watching light and funny dramas but this one is on another level. It has become my favorite Netflix original drama! Until now, I still can't get over it. I can't wait for the next season to be released.

•Points that I Liked About the Drama

https://t.co/OC3HEzU0a4

1. Hospital Playlist tells a lot of story about different people. There are five main characters but the story does not only revolve around them but also tells the story of the people around. This is actually common when it comes to medical dramas since there are a lot of patients. However, in this drama, they didn't just focus on patients but also on the hospital staffs. In fact, there are so many doctors from different departments that are shown here. I got to see more of what's happening during their breaks, how senior doctors look over the interns and residents and other staff, etc. Of course those are not real life scenarios, but it seemed real and made me feel like I am one of them.

2. Light and funny but really heartwarming. It's the kind of drama that will make you laugh and cry at the same time. It's not the slapstick comedy kind of drama but more of a situation-based kind? I don't know if you get it at all, LMAO. Watching it makes you feel like you're just catching up with friends, talking about your daily lives and laughing and reminiscing about the past.

3. Plotless but not nonsensical. It is not a complicated drama which is easy to watch no matter how old or how young you are. It should still be watched chronologically, though, because there are still a lot of stories to follow about each character. There's just no definite goal that was shown in the drama but the way the story was told, it's almost perfect.

4. One of the most realistic medical dramas. There are no exaggerated medical scenes where the doctors have to do impossible things and whatsoever just to save a patient.

https://t.co/Z6U1T2nBI0

5. I love the characters. It's impossible to choose a favorite character! Even the supporting ones are characterized well. Each character is different, that's why even if there are many of them, you won't get lost.

6. It's a medical drama so I learned a lot as well. If you are interested in medicine or currently taking up medicine related programs, Hospital Playlist is a good k-drama option to watch.

https://t.co/xGbTvz4giu

7. The OST is good. I highly recommend this drama if you are a sucker for good OSTs like me. All of the songs here are just covers. I am not familiar with the original songs since they are from the 1990s and early 2000s, but I still enjoyed them. For a month, I've only played Hospital Playlist OST. I'm not even kidding!

https://t.co/p3gGyjAKSS

8. They didn't overdo the romantic scenes. I ship a lot of the characters because there are also side stories like doctors who start to like each other. But none of them are cringey. I had a good time watching some characters' love story as it progresses.

9. There are so many cameos. I won't mention them because it may lead to spoilers but I swear, I love those special appearances!

• The Ending

The ending of the first season was satisfying. There are still unanswered questions, though. That's something to look forward to for the 2nd season. I can't say much about the ending because I know that it's not the final one yet. Still, my heart was contented with the 12 episodes.

•Final Thoughts

Will I watch it again? YES. FOR SURE.

Will I recommend it? YES. WATCH THIS DRAMA RIGHT AWAY OR ADD THIS TO YOUR PENDING LIST IMMEDIATELY.

Rate: 10/10 (for this season only)

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The reason why it's a 10/10 for me is because I prefer dramas like this, okay? If anyone disagrees with me, you can try to convince me to change my mind but I doubt anything will change. 🤣

•Hospital Playlist Top 5 OST

I really had a hard time picking my top 5 favorite songs because all of them are good. This is a really hard task for me, why did I even do this to myself? Lol. I feel my heart breaking. I. Am. Not. Kidding. So the songs I listed here are not really my top 5, it's rather a proof of my claim that everything is good. ('cos i just can't, i am sorry).

Me to You, You to Me by Mido and Falasol

Lonely Night by Kwon Jin Ah

Introduce me a good person by Joy

Aloha by Cho Jung Seok

In front of city hall at the subway station by Kwak Jin Eon

That's it! There's nothing I don't like about Hospital Playlist and I have no issues, too. If I am to think of one, it would probably be about the release date of the second season because I am dying for it.

So what are your thoughts? 😊 Thank you for reading!