#I also decided I hate this as I'm posting it OOPS

[blushblushbear]

this was supposed to be just a quick doodle but now here we are

been wanting to draw Iris and Fuyu musical theatering romantically for a while, but gonna be honest this probably won't be the last time I do this XD

"I'm certain if I fall in love I'm lost without a trace, but it's worth it for that face~"

[chexie]

UhhhhhhH

I don't really have anything witty for this one. Just. Don't acknowledge out loud that it's almost been a year, I'll sob.

[hotwaterandmilk]

re: Scans going forward

I have been posting content on here for something like 13 or 14 years at this point and never once on here, or on any other platform, have I put things behind a paywall or profited from the content I share at any time. I simply ask that people credit this blog as the source of scans they use, if they decide they're going to repost the content I share.

This is because I'm not the artist of the works I post, I don't feel entitled to earning anything from someone else's work. But I do appreciate a nod in my direction for scans, as I own the original OOP publications the works come from and it takes a lot of time and effort to scan then edit these files before posting them.

"But it's just scanning, you're not drawing, it can't take that long."

Scanning is only a small part of what I do. You need to prepare the item for scanning (sometimes debinding, cutting, smoothing, etc. depending on the item) then spend the time actually holding the item in the scanner. Editing (and in some cases redrawing or amending) parts of the art damaged by wear or imperfections, not to mention colouring, sizing and the like - it's a significant amount of effort per image for someone to do for free for years on end (on top of actual work and other hobbies).

I'm going to flat-out say this and I absolutely hate that I am in a position where I feel I have to divulge something so personal about myself, but I live with an aggressive form of rheumatoid arthritis that has left me with significant disabilities . Something as "simple" as scanning and editing an image from a book or a piece of furoku can cause me pain to the point of tears and take a lot longer than it probably takes others.

Rheumatoid arthritis is not just joint pain (though that is a major part of how it presents) it is a serious autoimmune condition and for me I have systemic issues with other tissues and organs beyond the joints. I take a lot of medications to deal with this, but a big part of why I didn't want to divulge my actual autoimmune disease diagnosis was because people underplay the seriousness and potential disability level involved with RA. For many it can be managed well with modern medications, for me it has been life-alteringly complex (and this is without going into the difficulties my neurological condition has caused recently either).

What I'm trying to say is that you might not value the effort that goes into what I share in this blog, that's fine - I can't make you. I don't feel I deserve anything like the level of support the original artists deserve - this is why I don't like to make money from scans, this isn't my art even though these are my items. However, what I do here takes so much more than you might assume on the surface so when you do things like repost my scans and deliberately remove my watermark and go out of your way not to mention this blog as a source, despite sourcing a significant amount of what you post on a monetised or influencer-style anime account, you are being extremely fucking shitty.

I'm at a crossroads that I've been at several times before, do I keep pushing myself to continue doing things as I've always done, or do I start to figure out a way to prioritise myself instead of upholding the integrity of sharing with others for free above all else?

I'm not sure what the answer is at this stage, but I'm so so so tired of the way things are. I share because I love these old works, these OOP products, these hidden gems and even though it physically pains me to do the work involved in sharing, I do it because it means so much to me. Now I just don't know if that's enough of a reason to do what I do.

Right now this blog is visible to Tumblr users only because I need some breathing space. I'm sure there are plenty of reposters with Tumblr accounts though, so please just know that if you use the contents of my blog for profit you're profiting not just off the work of a diverse range of artists, but also off someone with a disability dismantling their beloved childhood possessions just to enjoy connection with others online.

Thanks.

I've got scans lined up into next week, I'm going to take some time to consider what I want to do going forward. Kindly don’t reblog this, it’s very much a personal venting for my own blog that probably is nigh incomprehensible outside that context.

[milkkytxars]

(I uploaded this on twt fully intending to post it here too and then I forgot oops)

I like the headcanon (I'm pretty sure it's a hc at least) that Silent Salt is related, or started, the religious groups we see in game. You know, the ones that worship the witches to an extreme.

Because if that's the case, then it would be extremely meaningful for White Lily to be the opposite to that. Dark Enchantress is pretty much (amongst other things) the manifestation of her hatred towards the witches and all the horrors she witnessed first hand from them are still a deep part of what forms her character even after her revival.

Which is to say- if White Lily has to go against someone who is still loyal to the witches, even after being betrayed by them first hand? That will push her to make the big choice that's been hinted at since BY1&2 (somewhat)

Does she hate the witches enough that it doesn't allow her to try and understand Silent Salt's point of view. Or does she accept that maybe some witches didn't intend to eat cookies, that no matter what cookies were created for in the beginning, they still have the autonomy to choose and live a life- and that once upon a time, there was a witch that saw this in them and decided to give them a society, and pillars (the virtues) to guide them into prosperity. 

Every ancient until now has learned from their beasts and their views, and has grown from understanding them. So I think it's pretty obvious that White Lily will choose the second option, which will then allow her to finally choose her path and be certain that she will never become Dark Enchantress again if she has the choice, because hatred and uncertainty are horrible feelings that she won't allow herself to be consumed by it any longer. 

And maybe then, she will also understand that loneliness and silence is not the way to go (silence, get it? Because of silent salt? *gets shot*), that she can rely in others and should open up to them. Because the quickest way to lose yourself is if there's no one else who is aware of who you are.

[itsjustelian]

BEEFLEAF THOUGHT (Mainly He Xuan thought but fuck it he's intertwined with Shi Qingxuan and therefore all He Xuan thoughts are beefleaf thoughts)

So so so, in my readings of tgcf and the wonderful mess that is all of the internet thoughts on it I've come to the personal conclusion that to become a supreme you have to have *big* feelings. Very big and very deep feelings.

Our big-brained, obvious example of this is Hua Cheng. Man's big feeling is devotion, love. He is absolutely besotted for Xie Lian. Would do anything for his God. We're so proud of him for it too.

But He Xuan? He's the only other real supreme we have aside from Hua Cheng (Jun Wu, I'm sorry, you're wonderful but Godhood fucks with a man) and the idea that his big feeling that turned him into a supreme was rage and hatred never sat quite right with me. It's not that hatred and rage aren't powerful enough emotions to make a supreme, and those being his emotions on the surface make him a wonderful parallel to Hua Cheng. But rage isn't really what fuels him. If it was, he'd have dissipated after the Blackwater arc. Taken his revenge and called it a day.

Yet, he sticks around. He *never* dissipates. He just sits at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity. Which doesn't sound like rage or hatred. I mean, you'd assume a calamity built on hate would continue his revenge path until all of heaven is gone and no one can have godhood because he couldn't. But he doesn't. He just... waits.

This isn't to say he wasn't angry, btw. He was absolutely angry, and he had every right to be. His desire for revenge had to come from somewhere, let alone the emotional payment to actually planning and pulling it off. I just don't think that was his greatest regret/feeling/desire at death. I mean, He Xuan had his whole life taken from him. All of it. His family, his fiancee, his passions, his work. Everything he worked towards and for got stolen from him by others. And while it's clearly very rage inducing for him (I mean he has a mental breakdown and kills everyone who's ever wronged him), the underlying feeling through it all was probably despair. He probably just wanted things to go back to how they were when his whole family was around and alive.

And this despair and longing doesn't just go away when he learns the truth of what's been done to him. He's still a person. He can't just throw away those emotions because new ones have taken center stage. But rage is a way easier feeling to work with than misery, so He Xuan defers to it. He jumps on the bandwagon of revenge against the people who wronged him once again and goes with it. And it gets him through Mt. Tonglu and up into heaven and right where he says he wants to be. Right up until he can execute his revenge. And then he just stops? And decides that he's going to be best friends with Shi Qingxuan for a few hundred years first? I'm no rage expert, but that doesn't sound very revenge like to me. Which leads very neatly into the point of this post, took me a while I know.

He Xuan's reason for sticking around is he wants to be loved.

I mean, look at it. He says he hates Shi Qingxuan's guts and wants him and his brother dead more than anything, but also spends hundreds of years hanging out with this person he hates so much when revenge is right there? He could have done it whenever. There was no logical reason I could wait to wait as long as he did. Unless he was enjoying Shi Qingxuan's companionship. And Shi Qingxuan clearly loved him (even just platonically. We love our friends in this house). And He Xuan hadn't had someone care about him that much since his death. It was probably insanely overwhelming and equally as wonderful.

And then he fucks it all by actually going through with the revenge but feelings are hard and he's clearly not great with them so oops. But but but, his great famous line during the Blackwater Arc is him telling Shi Qingxuan that they've used the wrong name. He, even if it's just subconsciously, wants Shi Qingxuan to see him as He Xuan, not Ming Yi. He, in some capacity, wants Shi Qingxuan to see and love He Xuan, not the mask he had on.

But then, after the revenge, he doesn't disappear. He straight up goes out of his way to return Shi Qingxuan's fan to them. To make something right. To return something to how it was before.

Except this time, he can't blame the people around him for the change. He can't turn his rage at the rest of the world because he's the one who ruined the only thing he wanted for himself. So he finally, *finally*, has to face this sadness and longing that's been plaguing him from the start. He got his revenge, he got all the anger out, and it still wasn't what he wanted. Because from the beginning, all he wanted was to be appreciated and loved and wanted and not have that torn away from him.

And he fucked it for himself in the end because lets be honest if he had a civil fucking conversation with Shi Qingxuan and didn't literally threaten their brothers life things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, I'm crying now. If you read through my jumbled 2 AM thoughts all the way, thank you. I will edit this when it's not 3 am. and post it.

---

Editing me: wtf was I on? I don't remember half of these thoughts??? I'm posting it because somewhere in this hot mess is a point I'm trying to make, and I'm not going to deny 2 AM Elian the chance to share it.

[legorapeepong]

WIP Tag Game

RULES: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you like.

(None of my wips have titles yet, so I made descriptions of them instead 😂😂😂)

I was tagged over on my mainblog by Miu (@miusmusings), but this sideblog is where my fics reside so... I'm putting them here instead.

I'm not tagging anyone because I can't think of anyone who hasn't done it yet. But if I'm wrong and you haven't done it yet, consider yourself tagged by me okay thanks goodbye

It got quite long, so I put it under a cut:

1.) The continuation of "Operation: Heat Partners". The next four chapters have been in editing hell since August/September/October. I haven't wanted it to take this long, but whenever I make minor edits to chapters 7 and 8... I have to edit chapters 5 and 6, and it's a whole messed-up cycle.

Upcoming plot in the next four chapters:

Sonic and North share North’s heat with non-explicit sexual content, including unprotected sex when they run out of condoms.

The pack's defeat of the Chen Foundation/Wait, Charlie faked his death???/North finds out he's pregnant all happens in the same night because I'm an asshole lmao.

Sonic and North decide to co-parent the pup/have to tell the pack about the pup/Alan is so absolutely disappointed in Sonic because he had "promised to use protection".

Sonic and North tell their parents about North's pregnancy and the reactions are nothing alike: Sonic’s parents aren't happy with the news at first but they eventually come around to the idea.

North’s parents are gutted/absolutely destroyed/the most upset they have ever been in their lives (Their words, not North's. He adored his parents even if they were kind of shitty to him and his sisters sometimes...) They disown him as quickly as possible. Not only was their only son an Omega 🤮🤮🤮, but now he was pregnant outside of being mated/married? His parents are just the 🎶 absolute fucking worst 🎶, like they're more worried about their reputation among society than with their relationship with North. I made these people up, and I hate them so much lmaooooooo.

Sonic's parents aren't the best parents either to be quite honest, but at least they don't disown him so... parents of the year???

Alan’s younger cousin Ben, who is an Alpha and has a huge crush on North returns to the garage, and Sonic gets so jealous that Kim calls him out for his behaviour.

Feel free to ask me anything about the above upcoming plot. 😘 (Also, please read the character/plot information, it may lead to more questions. I'm proud of how hard I worked on it too so...)

2.) A prequel to "O:HP" where North goes through presentation/his first heat in the middle of the bathroom in middle school.

3.) A sequel to "O:HP" where their pup is five-six months old and Sonic proposes to North in the most adorable way omg.

4.) The AlanJeff spin-off from "O:HP" ,it takes place alongside the full-length fic and it's gonna be adorable as hell/a little sexy. I don't have much written but I have it all plotted out so I can answer questions.

5.) A SonicNorth fic based on MJ (@thamepo)'s tags on Rae (@silverraes)'s post. So much angst with a very happy ending. I can't wait to explore my interpretation of what happened in the year that Sonic was in Paris, France.

These might be the opening lines:

6.) Yet another sequel to "O:HP" where SonicNorth's first pup is almost three, AlanJeff's pup is almost two and North is pregnant with their second pup.

7.) KimWinner fic where while Kim was with Red Racing/before Kim was fucking kidnapped/tortured/could have died, they were fuck buddies. Winner swore that he was on birth control so they didn't need condoms but oops Winner gets pregnant anyway lmaooooooo. Kim doesn't find out until 2.5-3 years later when Sonic and North see Winner at a play-centre for infants/toddlers with a little girl who looks just like P'Kim and yeah... it's a whole thing.

A small snippet:

---

Here's some SonicNorth/AlanJeff/KimWinner .gifs as an incentive to ask questions???

[jihopesjoint]

get to know me

@eoieopda tagged me in their post twice but not to do the game bc i know there have been a million tags that i didn't do so the fact that i'm deciding to do this one is funny BUT i'm trying to be active again and i liked this one so here we are lmao

ps is it bad if i don't tag anyone bc i'm assuming everyone was already tagged and doesn't want to be tagged multiple times (still insecure) but please feel free to do this and say i tagged you if you haven't been bc that's exactly what i did

what's the origin of your blog title?

i went with my url bc my blog title is just kim namjoon saying some shit at an american press junket so lmfao this fucking clip it's not the original but finding her would be difficult

favorite fandoms?

i've only been really involved in any capacity with one fandom before bts, but bts has been the fandom i've been most involved in, and obviously that's not that much. i wouldn't really say it's my favorite either LMAO i love many things, but fan spaces on the internet are hard lmfao here for example: i'd never seen, read, or listened to wicked before the movie because i thought wicked fans were annoying. turns out people are annoying about it because it's REALLY fucking good. so i'm actually trying to keep fandom out of the equation when i enjoy something now bc i'm sick of missing out on things just because i myself personally find the fandom annoying lmao lmao lmao

otp(s)/shipname?

myself with jimin next question

favorite color?

that fucken millennial pink oops. or golden yellow

favorite game?

the sims, animal crossing, spiritfarer

song stuck in your head?

abracadabra amor-oo-na-na abracadabra morta-oo-ga-ga (mayhem is out march 7 stan lady gaga)

weirdest habit/trait?

well. i grew up believing my weirdest habit was pulling my hair out to baldness but it turns out shit like that is more common than i thought. but i still can't think of anything weirder so that's my answer 😀

hobbies?

reading, gaming, wishing i was a writer but not doing anything about it, astrology

if you work, what is your profession?

a sore subject! i'm unemployed.

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

initially i was going to say therapist bc that is the job i want and do not yet have, but that's not how i'm actually interpreting this question. the answer is ballerina.

something you're good at?

being supportive

something you're bad at?

following through, just as a general statement

something you love?

my cat

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff?

psychology, astrology, kpop. a certain book series, that i don't want to be judged on the internet for having shaped my late childhood and teenage years, and the discourse surrounding it (wow i wonder what it is)

something you hate?

my phone addiction

something you collect?

i was getting a lot of bts albums, etc. for a bit there but that's been halted for a couple of years now lmfao

something you forget?

that i'm not alone

what's your love language?

love languages are bullshit and sexist etc etc etc (words of affirmation and physical touch)

favorite movie/show?

movie: easy a show: bojack horseman until i rewatch crazy ex-girlfriend and remember just how much it is my favorite

favorite food?

snack: chips and queso meal: pho

favorite animal?

a boring answer but it is in fact cats

are you musical?

i play the flute and piano, and i did dance classes through elementary school and was in choir until high school. i majored in music education for my first three years of college before i finally realized i do not have the dedication required of the field. classical musicians, as well as band directors in my state (could be a dead giveaway if you know about band here), do not typically have multiple interests lmao

what were you like as a child?

how to be nice to my child self okay um i was (and am) pretty anxious and insecure and i had friends but felt lonely a lot anyway. on the other hand i also think i was as excitable then as i am now. i was timid and shy when i was small, but then i was a daycare kid so i think i learned how to be a loud enough kid to not to get swallowed up by the chaos that is that environment (slipped through the cracks in school though lmao lmao lmao)

favorite subject at school?

language arts/english but you'd be hard pressed to see evidence of it because past elementary school i was not a good student UNTIL i became a psych major

least favorite subject?

biology. well the sciences in general get me fucking good every time, but especially biology. i cannot wrap my head around science

what's your best character trait?

empathy (gag me), or more specifically being able to see situations from many perspectives

what's your worst character trait?

learned helplessness???? i do not inherently believe in myself and so i give up easily or don't try lmao

if you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be?

that i got a full night of sleep last night and that i was asleep right now lmao

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

carl jung, esteemed psychiatrist/psychotherapist/psychologist, was also an esteemed astrologer who never advertised himself as an astrologer bc he did not want to be taken less seriously as a scientist. modern psychology and (western) astrology would not be where they are today without him and wow look at that those are two of my favorite interests. also i wanna hear what shit he wants to talk about freud.

rec your fave fanfics (spread the love):

god finally a chance to put them in one spot. and a lot of these people have multiples that i would love to mention but then the list would be insane. so i suffered and picked one each. the following, in no particular order, with clear biases shown:

@eoieopda's darksided (myg) @sailoryooons's the iron ring (pjm) @daechwitatamic's my feet to follow, and my heart to hold (knj) @100vern's by the time i've figured out what it's worth (myg) @here2bbtstrash's the shape of your body (pjm) @magicshopaholic's idolverse (ot7) @wwilloww's sh. (ot7) @kkaetnipjeon's pork belly (pjm) @babystrcandy's matilda (myg) @yoongiofmine's all it takes (jhs) @kithtaehyung's first love, last love (myg) @moni-logues's kintsugi (myg), which i cannot link because she has been put through the FUCKING wringer by this god forsaken website, but i can't not mention it and finally, matchy's (who has deactivated rip diva) trip no further (myg), which is still available on ao3 (thank you for informing me @newmittens) BUT i think you do need to have an account to access it

ok thank you for reading and i apologize to all of these people i tagged who had to scroll to the very bottom of this post to see why they were tagged lmfao ily all <3

[herefortheships]

Things I would love to get in BJ3, in no particular order of importance.

Ok so this post has been in my drafts for a while 😂 Enough time to make this a pretty long post. Some of these (or, maybe all of these 😆) are unlikely to happen, but I'm just sharing my little hopes and fangirl dreams. I decided to share the things I do NOT want as a separate post, because then this would be way too long (spoiler alert: it already is too long 😅). I will just link this post to the other one, and vice versa, when I post it.

Here we go, things I would love to get in BJ3:

The return of the line "I myself am, strange and unusual". Doesn't necessarily have to be the full phrase as long as "strange and unusual" is used to describe Lydia or something related to Lydia. Bonus points if Lydia calls Betelgeuse "strange and unusual". Extra bonus points if it's part of her reasoning to fall in love with him or explaining to Astrid why she's even attracted to him. Because he's strange and unusual. lol

Lydia taking up photography again. I wanna see her walking around with her camera taking photos again.

Betelgeuse either being set loose, or returning to life again for act three. It can be for a brief portion earlier in the movie, too; like as part of act two, and then he goes back to being a ghost for whatever madness happens in act three. (But, for act three it feels more fitting. It'd be cool if part of act three had Betelgeuse able to walk freely in the world of the living for only one night [on Halloween], bonus points if he's in the flesh, like, alive for one night. Cool idea, but unlikely. Yet, this girl dreams).

Betelgeuse and Astrid bonding. I want to see them interact and get along better than anyone would have expected. She can hate him at the start of the movie, but then grow fonder of him as the events in the movie unfold.

That said: Stepdad Betelgeuse! Lydia, Betelgeuse, and Astrid becoming a family by the end. We all know how in love I am with the idea of them all becoming a family. If the movie ends this way, they can even continue the series as an animated show about their odd little family! I dream. It'd be sweet to see Beej actually try to be a good dad to Astrid because in life he never got the chance to be a father, or even decide if he wanted to be one. Now that he gets a chance he wants to be the best dad. 🥹 (Making myself emotional with an unlikely scenario. But again, I dream 😌). It would also be funny if he's trying to be a good dad and kinda failing because, he's a ghost and also he's Betelgeuse 😆, kinda like him trying to reach out to Lydia and romance her, and instead scaring her in BJBJ.

Lydia saying "Though I know I should be wary..." before summoning Betelgeuse. She doesn't have to say the full chant, but it'd be cool if she said those words as a shout out to the cartoon!

A totally wild (and possibly whacky) Betelgeuse and Lydia sex scene. 🤭 Bonus points if it starts with a wild make out session. Extra bonus points if Betelgeuse is a ghost (i.e they don't have him be alive and all cleaned up for it lol I'm sorry, Winona, but you'll have to eat up that stage makeup off of Michael's face. Oops). Extra extra bonus points if Lydia accidentally banishes him saying his name during the act, just because that'd be a hilarious way to end the scene 😂.

Lydia having a hard time accepting that she has feelings for Betelgeuse at first.

I would also love to meet Lydia's real mom.

Delia and Astrid being team Betelgeuse and supporting Lydia being with him.

Delia must be in BJ3 of course. She did say she was gonna stick around until Lydia begged her (and Charles) to move on, so we'll definitely be seeing her again unless they forced her into the Soul Train.

It'd be cool if Astrid is the one to summon Betelgeuse this time, at first, actually.

The story ending with Betelgeuse taking the Soul Train to the Great Beyond next to Lydia, if they don't end it just with them married and starting their married life. Even though Betelgeuse has been freed of his burdens and owes no more time as a civil servant (think loophole, or just as a result of having been freed of his curse by Lydia [see my Betelgeuse and marriage theory; that's how I'd like it to go, personally 💜] which resulted in allowing him to finally pass on) he'd stick around and wait for Lydia. So yes, *Not saying Lydia has to die in this movie, but when it's her time, it'd be sweet if Lydia and Betelgeuse take the train together. Even if they end the third movie with Beetlebabes married, and we don't get to see the end end of their story together, I want to imagine that at the very end they're taking that train together, even if one of them has to wait for the other to be able to pass on.

The return of "Jump in the Line". It would be a dream if BJ3 ends with "Jump in the Line" or includes it at some point in the movie. Bonus points if Betelgeuse and Lydia dance to it. Extra bonus points if it's their wedding after-party song! And Astrid and Delia join in the dancing. How cute would that be (man this list is getting more and more unrealistic, but this would be so perfect to me, if it happened lol 😭🥹💕).

Now that we're at the Harry Belafonte music part of this wishlist, another song I would like is "Sweetheart from Venezuela" lol. I understand if they don't want to include these songs though, since Harry Belafonte music in the first film is more connected to the Maitlands. Even though the lyrics of "Sweetheart from Venezuela" make me feel like the song was picked to be be in the movie because of the Betelgeuse x Lydia marriage situation 😆. If you don't remember the lyrics, they start "Juanita, my darling, you sure you love me? Sí, señor! You feel in your heart you will marry to me? Sí, señor! You promise to love me the rest of you life? Sí, señor! I love Juanita! My sweetheart from Venezuela." So as you can see, the song is about getting married, and specifically about marrying someone from another country, in Beetlejuice's case, Lydia marrying Betelgeuse, someone who is dead. So I feel like the movie starting with that song it was alluding to that. But this isn't what this post is about! 😂 Anyway they can include his music; in a way, his music is also connected to Lydia. It's part of her teen years and probably reminds her of the Maitlands, whom she must still love very much.

The movie needs to include another Betelgeuse and Lydia dance scene.

Also the wedding scene (there HAS to be a wedding, ok) should be more intimate. I don't think Tim Burton should try to top the epicness of the McArthur Park scene, unless he has something absolutely crazy and even more beautiful in his mind. So maybe it should be more lowkey. Even if he tries to top the BJBJ wedding scene and fails, I'm sure I will still love whatever he comes up with, as long as the wedding succeeds this time around.

Did I already mention a Beetlebabes kiss? There has to be a kiss.

The return of Delores as a proper villain.

The return of Wolf Jackson! I just really liked him.

If only it was possible, the return of Bob. I understand if he's not coming back, though. But I wish he would. He was Betelgeuse's friend (Beej has to appreciate him more if he does come back, though...)

A cute family scene with Lydia, Beej, and Astrid.

And finally, a proper ending that closes the story in a satisfying way, but that also leaves it open in a sense that the story is not over-over, so it could potentially continue as a series (even if animated) eventually. But even if it's kinda open, it has to be satisfying. Like, it ending with Beetlebabes married and all of them living together as a family, that'd be a satisfying ending that's still pretty open to continue the story as a series. If they do decide to make the story fully over and done with, though, then I already wrote up there what I'd like: for Betelgeuse and Lydia to pass on to the Great Beyond together.

These are my wishes. Of course, realistically I know a lot of this or all of it may not happen, but it's what I'd like to see. And I'm sure I'm gonna keep having ideas of what I'd like to see, so I will STOP this post here or I risk this becoming a mammoth post of unrealistic expectations. 😅 I feel like some of these are possible, but ofc I'm biased. The thing it all boils down to, what I want the most is a happy ending for all the main characters, and for that happy ending to involve canon, fully reciprocated, Beetlebabes. 💕

Next post: the things I do NOT want to see and my fears for BJ3.

[blobbei-art]

Hai :33 okay so your recent post involving kasifer and marzie has the caption "two people in one body" and I got curious and looked through their tags but couldn't find anything else expanding on that? Has their lore changed? I'm very interested in your characters so even if I'm just misunderstanding something if there's anything you would want to share about them as just fun facts that would also be cool and fun. I liek characters

LMAO no you caught me. I was unhappy with the original version and so I've recently completely overhauled their lore into something more clean and solid. Here's a quick summary of the updated version!

+

Theresia caught a glimpse of God a long time ago and had been obsessed with it ever since. She's been on a personal quest to cast divine justice on humanity. Eventually, through some human experimentation, she brought a small part of that God into our reality to judge humanity. She regretted it pretty quickly once it got out of hand and tried to stop this "God" by splitting them into two parts - Beginning and End. Watered down, the two halves acted a lot more human. The Beginning, Marzie, took interest in her human side but resents her supernatural nature. The End, Kasifer, is still trying to accomplish his mission, but is a lot kinder about it now and decides to start with Theresia. He would rather be free of his human side. Theresia is caught right in the middle. ...unfortunately the split has created a time loop and they are all stuck in it together. Trying to kill each other is hard when your deaths trigger the reset. Fortunately, none of them really mind do-overs.

+

The split into 1 in 2 bodies came with this update to the story and I'm enjoying the dynamic of hating each other but also being unable to be without each other at the same time a lot. I know I say "split" but they really are still one soul in two bodies that just focus on different aspects of themselves.

They eventually collide with a different story happening in the background but that's less worked out.

Either way thank you very much for the ask btw! I don't really do text only posts on this blog without an excuse so i didn't share any of the new lore at all....oops.

Here's a little random doodle compilation from the past week!

[skitskatdacat63]

Prince Jenson of Somerset

+ process & lore

Yayyyyy omg finally have drawn portraits of the four main characters!!!! I'll show the process of Jenson's first and then them all four together. Though it's a shame the Seb/Fernando ones are older, I think it's hopefully obvious how much I've improved since November?

Look at him in all his handsome, princely glory 🥹 It's funny, I'm always happy with the second sketch and initial lineart, and then I start coloring it and I absolutely hate it, and it takes a significant amount of time into the painting for me to like it again. And then I reach a certain point and I'm in love with it again. Ugh though I gotta say, I love drawing the curls, it's just so 18th century, but at the same point, man I always will love my original lineart for the hair the best ah. Also yes I absolutely had to give him a big ass hat with feathers, he really is that kinda guy to me. I originally drew a bicorne and then realized that those don't really exist until basically almost a century later oops, so tricorne it is!!

Okay now omg look at them all together 🥹

Haha wow I have improved a lot! Just like the Seb/Fernando ones, Mark and Jense's were meant to be put together. I think there's a lot of inherent characterization in their poses that highlight the difference between them. Mark is looking up, very wistful, looking up to greater people, greater things. Jenson's head is tilted down, almost looking at the viewer, he is very satisfied with his role and revels in it, he's here to slay!

Okay, yes, lore, characterization, sorry that it is so far down on the post!!

Jense would probably be the fan favorite if this AU was an actual book or show or something. He's the guy you randomly find while browsing Wikipedia and you're like, woah this guy is so cool??? Unlike Sebmarknando, he doesn't really have the same level of angst, he's kinda just chilling. He's a bit harder to write a lore post about, because he's basically that character who is always magically around the corner, ready to witness some crazy thing and just breeze past it.

He is less linked to Seb than people like Mark and Fernando, because he's basically just his personal minister of transportation(read: horse fucker), so he avoids a lot of the relationship complications and drama, but that isn't to say he's completely uninvolved. He really likes Seb, and loves to hang around with him and serve him, but he's not as beholden to him. He's who everyone goes to air their grievances or to get away from the others, and he's very happy with this role. He's generally willing to play any side in an argument, but does tend to have a pretty big soft spot for Seb overall(Seb also gives him cuteness aggression, and he wants to bite him. Especially when Seb puffs himself up and acts super bratty when he gets offended at not being seen as a proper ruler.)

He's royalty from other kingdom, but pledged his loyalty to Seb's kingdom when he was quite young and has served him(his father first) ever since. He started off somewhat low in the military, rose to a pretty high rank, was a renowed war hero, and then ended up retiring pretty early to tend to Seb's horses. That's an oversimplification, but yeah. He liked the military life, was very good at it, but decided he had done enough, and wanted to be involved in more direct service, albeit more laid back. As I mentioned in Mark's post, Mark *really* doesn't understand his choice to do this, because if Mark had been in Jense's position, he can't ever imagine being able to let all that go and living the quiet life.

He is the palace whore, everyone has been with him honestly. It'll be like, some man walks into his bedroom, only to see Jenson in bed with his wife, but instead of being angry, he's like "wow you couldn't even wait for me??" He's just very carefree, and happy to just slut around and tend to Seb's horses.

I think he definitely still advises Seb, and would go to battle if truly need be, but generally seems to be living in a different world than the weird psychosexual homoerotic political drama that the others seem to be living in. But as I said, it's not like he doesn't contribute to it! He loves to goad Fernando, and constantly plays devil's advocate in "debates" between Fernando and Seb. He's also obviously the one that keep "accidentally" locking them in rooms and forgetting where the key is.

Sorry if this isn't very explanatory, I hope it gives a general idea to the type of character he is???? As always, let me know if you have any questions! I kinda struggled on what to write here because I'm finishing this at almost 8 am 😭 so I'm not sure if it's great or not. But basically you need to know: horse fucker who is generally breezy and carefree but also can be a bit of a menace to society every once in a while.

[jobazzle]

books i've read in 2025

it's! officially! a new year! and the end of the first month of 2025! so i obvs had to do this again (see my 2024 post here)

January

The Women - Kristin Hannah ★★★★½ did i start reading this in 2024 MAYBE SO did i finish this almost as soon as the new year started YUP lmaooo (oh my god i just checked and...i started reading this in OCTOBERFHJDSHKJFS...it was a really good book so i'm glad i finally finished it!!!!)

Bright Young Women - Jessica Knoll ★★★★ this was as infuriating as it was heartbreaking....and also featured one of my top 10 book betrayals of all time i hate that man I HATE HIM

How to End a Love Story - Yulin Kuang ★★★★½ this falls into one of my favorite and most exclusive categories: books where it takes me a bit to really get into it but once i'm in i start reading soooo slowly bc i never want it to end <3

February

Love and Other Words - Christina Lauren ★★★½ my expectations were so high bc of all the hype i'd seen online and yet....this was just....ok....like how is this friends to lovers (MY FAVORITE TROPE) and yet i didn't deeply love and adore it???? NOOOOOOO. however it DID make me SOB so!!!! there's that!!!! (IT GOT TOO RELATABLE)

Taming 7 - Chloe Walsh ★¾ literally what the hell was that (the review i wrote on storygraph was....so long i don't wanna get into it again lmao just know: i HATED how this entire story played out)(and whew was this a rough read for us lizzie defenders!!!!!)

The Rom-Commers - Katherine Center ★★★★★ loved this so much i literally DREAMT about finishing it and rating it five starshjgkhskjfhdsk. the yearning!!! the tension!!! the will they won't they of it all!!!! YUP YUP YUUUUP THIS WAS EVERYTHING (i have decided the theme song of this book is couldn't make it any harder by sabrina carpenter. no i will not elaborate. yes this song choice probably isn't the best or most accurate. but it feels correct ok)

Only If You're Lucky - Stacy Willingham ★★★¾ talk about an unreliable narrator DAMN i'm actually kinda sad for all parties involved like i'm sorry i was suspicious of you i was INTENTIONALLY MISLED by the pov i was reading oops </3 (i was in a theme song kick when i read this and the rom-commers so i do indeed have a theme song for this and it's if you go down (i'm goin' down too) by kelsea ballerini...that would 1000% play during the end credits of a screen adaptation for this ok)

Cross The Line - Simone Soltani ★★★★¼ see i was expecting to hate this and now i'm counting down the days for the second book in the series to release GIVE IT TO ME NOWWWWWW (i literally got up and started pacing while reading the on track racing scenes like bitch i was STRESSED)(that is also the emotion i feel while watching an actual f1 race sooooo 10/10 incredible writing good job love that it evoked the exact same emotions from me fhdsjkhfdskj)(also holy shit what an epilogue)

March

The Pumpkin Spice Café - Laurie Gilmore ★★★¼ not at all anything rly groundbreaking + had a predictable "mystery" buuuut it was cozy as hell (i really should've read this in the fall oops my bad) and idk like it was just a lighthearted, sweet, easy read!!!! i had fun!!!!

Beg, Borrow, or Steal - Sarah Adams ★★★★¾ college rivals to coworker rivals to kinda friends to lovers yeaaaah that's my type of love storyyyyyyy (the fmc is sooooo rwylm by taylor at the beginning of this ohhhhh my god). quote that ended me -> "you think you're unlovable, but i think i've never known how to love until knowing you." like???? oh!!!!! so you want to make me emotionally unstable via deeply heartfelt dialogue????? CONGRATS MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Sunrise On The Reaping - Suzanne Collins ★★★★★ i really thought i knew the whole story of haymitch's games and that nothing in this would surprise or shock me LMAOOOOOOOO (this was devastating but so perfect in every way)

Lost and Lassoed - Lyla Sage ★★★★½ sometimes a book resonates so deeply with your soul that despite any imperfections you can't help but adore it aaaand that's what this was for meeeee 🫶

April

Scythe & Sparrow - Brynne Weaver ★ this series getting progressively worse when i rly liked book 1 actually HURTS ME DEEPLY. NOOOOO. (what didn't help this books case is i got a version that was incorrectly formatted so on top of being irritated by the plot i was irritated simply by trying to read it oh this was not a fun experience at allllll)(i rly should've dnf'ed)

First-Time Caller - B.K. Borison ★★★★★ this author is officially 5/5 for books i've read of hers that have BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. SPECTACULAR. GIVE ME 14 (MORE) OF 'EM RIGHT NOW. (this is a tiktok reference sorrryyyyy it just popped in my head as i was typing) anyways NEED THE NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES ASAPPPP (except it doesn't come out til next year UGHHHH

Deep End - Ali Hazelwood ★★★★★ good drama 🙂‍↕️ compelling plot 🙂‍↕️ decent focus on their respective sports 🙂‍↕️ well-written characters 🙂‍↕️ a beautiful love story 🙂‍↕️ need a physical copy of this on my bookshelf YESTERDAY (or rly since april 25 since that's when i finished it)

The Cinnamon Bun Book Store - Laurie Gilmore ★★ instead of miscommunication (a trope that can sometimes work for me) THIS was ZERO communication. having to read a dual pov internal monologue about how they both doubt the other has the same feelings for them over and over and over again drove me a little insane!!!!! pls let the next one (christmas tree farm) be better bc the first one in the series is cute WTF HAPPENED

May

Tress of the Emerald Sea - Brandon Sanderson ★★★★½ first ever book from this author and i was!!! pleasantly surprised!!!! would the narrator have made more sense if i'd read his past works PROBABLY but!!! this was still so enjoyable so fantastical such a sweet lil story

The Christmas Tree Farm - Laurie Gilmore ★★★¼ deeply irritated with myself for not waiting to read this until the christmas holiday season (ok this isn't rly My Fault Completely ok the libby hold came in and i couldn't wait to read it). unfortunately featured mentions of both elon musk (meant to be derogatory tho...which...still no...don't put him in this cozy universe ew) and henry cavill (meant to be complimentary but he is my parasocial nemesis so i hated it) right at the beginning which...did not bode well for it but after i got past that and kept reading yeah the story was cute it was sweet sure!!!!!

Not in Love - Ali Hazelwood ★★★★½ i love the feeling when you're reading a romance book and you begin seeing how their relationship just Makes Sense. like. yeah. i can totally see how they're each others soulmates. they absolutely complete each other. I NEED THEM TOGETHER NOW. that sorta feeling lol. (also is this the first dual pov book i've ever read that had one character's chapters be 1st person pov and the other's be 3rd person pov??? POSSIBLY SO. V INTERESTING)

Rewind It Back - Liz Tomforde ★★★★¾ i scoffed at this being a second chance romance bc the One Other Book i remember reading w that trope was Good But Not A Fav BUT THISSSSS YEAH COUNT ME INNNNNNNN. and yeah!!! this did indeed make me sob bc it featured a plotline that i Deeply Related To OUCHHHHHH (complimentary). also....character my age mentioning a boyband obsession when they were a teenager???? I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (A 1D STAN). what a beautiful finale to one of my favorite lil romance series can't wait to read whatever she releases next

Releasing 10 - Chloe Walsh ★★★★½ what a heavy heavy HEAVY read. and possibly my new fav from the BoT series.....the way this adds context to every single other book liiiike i need the next one ASAPPPPPPPPPP. (as a lizzie defender since day 1, this book only strengthened my love for her character)(i'm so serious i needed to jump in this book and Kill Some People)(IT'S THAT SERIOUS)(AND DEVASTATINGLY SAD)(also lizzie's songs are castles crumbling / wcs by taylor swift and hugh's is some protector by role model YUPPPP)(i am sobbing over the playlists i made for them)

Problematic Summer Romance - Ali Hazelwood ★★★★★ wdym this was full of so much yearning and emotion that at times i felt like i couldn't fucking breathe oh my god??????????? i'm literally still thinking about it i've genuinely gone back multiple times and reread all my favorite moments that i highlighted i already want to reread it i want to inject it into my veins i want to completely erase it from my memory and experience it all over again (but also ali...girl...wdym no epilogue tho like COME ONNNNNNNN)(anyways favorite ali hazelwood book favorite ali hazelwood couple quite possibly the only age gap romance i will ever be able to stand reading bc they will all get compared to this)(genuinely every issue i've ever had w that subgenre of romance was Completely Fixed And Perfect in this one HOW DID SHE DO THAT)

June

Ride with Me - Simone Soltani ★★★¾ i think i hate the marriage of convenience trope!!!! lmaoooo!!! buuuut...lowkey...i did still think this was sickeningly sweet and it made me smile at my ereader while reading soooooo there's that! V EXCITED TO READ THE NEXT ONE!!! (next year......)

King of Wrath - Ana Huang ★¼ boring romance (i literally felt nothing for their "love story"). boring smut (go girl! give us nothing! this was BLAH). boring plot (why did this not feel like what i remember liking from the twisted series). boring mmc (lowkey i think i hate him lol). BORING BORING BOOOORING smh i deeply regret reading this.

Wild Love - Elsie Silver ★★★★¼ ily books that actually make me laugh <3 rosie and ford (and cora) my belovedssss <3 this is getting turned into a tv series and trust i WILL be tuning in!!!!!!!!!

The Conditions of Will - Jessa Hastings ★★★★★ picture this: me reading and falling in love with everything about this book so much so that it becomes one of my favorite reads of the year just for the author to go on a tirade on her instagram stories defending the existence and usage of generative ai 😐

Wild Eyes - Elsie Silver ★★¾ wild love CLEARS ford grant CLEARS weston belmont you're kinda ANNOYING (ok i'm being harsh this had so many hilarious moments i think i am just irritated by the mmc and the ending...)

Wild Side - Elsie Silver ★★★½ throughout the whole book i just kept thinking about how it's becoming a tv series and was like "ohhhhh i can picture this scene PERFECTLY". NEED TO READ WILD CARD ASAP GIVE IT TO ME NOWWWWWW (i have to wait until september SIGH)

All the Dangerous Things - Stacy Willingham ★★★★¼ at 70% i was rolling my eyes bc i was SO SURE i guessed the "twist" (it's a thriller like there's always gonna be a twist) and OH HOW WRONG I WAS!!!!!! oh also while reading i couldn't stop thinking of taylor songs that applied to this book sooo here's that list: mad woman / cassandra / i can fix him (no really i can) / tolerate it / no body, no crime / fortnight / illicit affairs / cold as you / eyes open / guilty as sin? / tell me why / i knew you were trouble. / i did something bad / seven / my tears ricochet / right where you left me / you all over me / carolina / robin

Face Off - Chelsea Curto ★½ this feels like it was written based around a checklist of tropes which resulted in terrible pacing and a story that felt so disjointed and just didn't flow well and was not at alllll cohesive (not even somewhat likeable characters and decently written smut could save this for me)

Power Play - Chelsea Curto ★ I SHOULD'VE DNF'ED OH MY GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE I SPENT THE LAST 50% OF THIS FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE. this is where i stop w this godawful series!!! nope!! i'm DONE

[me-saw-hoo-dini]

I did exactly what I said I was gonna do; worked on Vanoss, cried a bit (not actually), gave up, worked on Delirious, and now I'm back to post these fuck ass updated Miis

(ps I'm so sorry for the outfits I just started the game, I'm broke, and this is all I got/had when they asked for clothes)

(I'm soooo normal)

I hate them so much bro 😭 the hair styles are ass and I could not decide what mouth to use for either of these fucks like for Vanoss I didn't want him to look depressed but there was no smile/smirk that looked "natural" or like his smiles so I chose that mouth and idk it kindaaaa looks like a smile but not toooo much???? Idk man. Also if I upturn Vanoss's eyebrows he looks pissed. Sometimes I look at him he looks monotone and other times he looks sad. For Delirious I love the idea that his resting face just looks like he's slightly smiling. Like the corners of his mouth are upturned and holy would you look at that a mouth that does that so I picked it and moved on fast as hell before I over thought it... and now I'm staring at him with judgement. His haircut makes him look like he's balding but I don't wanna give him bangs (no other options ig I could've gave him a beanie but ).

So I wanna explain my "design" or whatever tf for why Delirious looks like that. So I already explained the mouth and then I also gave him those wrinkles around his eyes to be like eyebags cuz ya know he's 37 turning 38 and his sleep schedule has always sucked. I also wanted to give him smile lines too but option was too far away from his mouth, the other one (What Vanoss has) looked a little weird cuz of his nose, and you can only have one or the other facial lines so eyebags it was. Speaking of eyes you'll notice they're not blue and that's because

GREEN/HAZEL????? I love Delirious with blue eyes do NOT get me wrong but basically his mii looks like all that because I am a FIRM fucking believer Delirious made his GTA 5 character look close to what he looks like irl. The eyebrows were tricky tho cuz they look pencil thin with the clown make up but thicker without the make up so I chose the thicker eyebrows. I debated on giving him like a soul patch or any form of facial hair but decided against it cuz he started to look like a dude from my college that I don't like so LOOOOOL 😭. Also I like the idea that Vanoss and Delirious are actually the same height but I think I might've made delirious taller?? Oops if so

I think they're a nice improvement when compared to what I made them look like in 2015 but when I look at them alone I feel I've fucked them up in some way ┐(´ー｀)┌

It's gonna sound like a "no shit" statement but they look older like at least Delirious and it’s taking me out. 10 years later miis (TヮT)

also ps

[abrisaber]

Full Moon kinda sucked :/ (Another HB Rant - Spoilers for Full Moon)

I hate to say this but I think Vivziepop has finally lost me. Now I'm not saying I'm no longer an HB fan, JMI was geneticlly enginered to get me addicted to whatever he's in meaning I could'nt stop watching HB even if I tried. However I am starting to doubt Vivziepops talents. I have no idea what happened between the first half of Season 2 and the second half but this kind of seasonal rot has to be studied in a fucking lab.

I want to like the episodes after "The Circus," I really do. I don't even hate Cherubs, but aside from Oops and the Mid-Special, every episode following The Circus has ranged from disapointing to awful compared to S1.

It's not even like I hate the episodes after The Circus either. Seeing Stars was okay for the most part, Exes and Oohs tried to do something, even Unhappy Campers introduced a potentally intresting character (and thats it). But these episodes have so many glaring flaws in my book that it's hard to grasp.

In my opinion, Helluva Boss was at its best during the balk half of season 1/The beginning of Season 2 (Truth Seekers-The Circus) and the decline in writing quality started at around Seeing Stars.

I made a long post that explains what about Truth Seekers I like so if you care even a little bit about my opinions, you can suffer through that rant, but to shorten it here, Truth Seekers is my favorite episode of the series because it balances the comedy and the drama expertly imo. Truth Seekers feels like Helluva Boss had finally stuck the landing at what kind of show it wanted to be. It showcased how Blitzo felt about his past relationships and his current one, it gave Moxxie a chance to be heard outside of his flaws (before the show decided they wanted to retread the same fucking plotpoint a couple more times), and it was pretty funny (comedy is subjective tho so feel free to ignore my feelings on comedy from here on out).

Ozzies is a good episode because, well, Asmodeus, but also it does more for Blitzo's character. It contrasts with Truth Seekers via two of the three halucinations calling him out on his shit, and it starts to build upon how he views his relationship with Stolas.

While I don't really like The Circus, what it did at the end for Stolas and overall how it setup the relationship for him and Blitzo was genuinly good imo. How it started with Blitzo initiating the one sidedness of their relationship and whatnot.

Notice how I'm talking almost exclusively about Blitzo as my reasons for enjoying these episodes more than others. And thats because Helluva Boss is at its best when it treats Blitzo as its main character. Even from the beginning he was the real star. Obviously you have characters like Stolas and Moxxie also getting focous, but even in those episodes, Blitzo still gets development, because Blitzo is the main driving force for the show. He's the Helluva Boss. He's the center, the emotional core. HB should be about HIM and HIS relationships to others.

Some of the worst episodes are the ones where Blitzo isn't really the main focous, I'm not saying that Blitzo automaticlly makes the show good or that he should be the only one get focus, but when you pull back and look at the series, almost every beloved episode have him (or him and Stolas) at its emotional center.

To keep this already long post from being absurdly long, I'll skip ahead to why I really didnt like the newest episode, Full Moon.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First things first, the Cherubs and Dhorks fucking suck ass as antagonists. They're annoying, they're not funny, and just like Crimson and Striker in Oops, they serve zero narritve purpose outside of being glorified cardboard cutouts for the main characters to fight. They are everything wrong with B-plots in media. Their only existence is to create artifical narritve throughlines that makes artifical suspence to keep the audience engaged like babies watching those baby sensory videos. "Oooo look its the Cherubs from the most nothing burger episode of Season 1. Oooo it's the Dhorks that are easily the most forgetable aspect of Truth Seekers. OOOhhh isnt it sooooo fucking hilarous how the Dhorks killed a bunch of children? Ohhh aren't you so invested to see these characters that mean absolutely nothing to the plot that Vivziepop is trying to sell the show with? DONT YOU JUST LOVE THESE KEY JINGLING ASS CHARACTERS YOU FUCKING BABY-"

I got a little carries away there, but my point is that Dhorks and the Cherubs are worthless slop that should be removed from the plot entirely.

Usually I wouldn't even care since 2/3 instances where useless villans show up to be useless, the main plot not involving them is really good (Refering to Oops and Truth Seekers).

But the main-plot in this episode is just as bad, if not WORSE than the B-plot.

Regarding my previous rant again, I was an avid defender of Stolitz up until maybe Western Energy, although in that case with the aftermath of Ozzies being handled mostly offscreen is more me being skeptical about Vivs pacing and writibg style. I didn't have a problem with the actual idea of Stolitz yet, just with the execution.

In actuality, my problem with the writing started in The Full Moon.

Even with me being an avid defender of Stolitz, even with me analyizng and disecting Blitzo's mentality and reasonings and emotional trauma, even with me trying to justify BOTH sides of this toxic relationship with no real abuser,

THIS does NOT come off as Blitzo begging to keep Stolas in his life because he cares about him and wants to be with him. I'm sure theres some of that in there and I still have faith that Viv try to put more of that into the execution going forward. But no matter how many times I watch this ending scene and the scenes before it, no matter how long I sit and think and think and think about this dynamic, this scene does NOT feel that way to me.

To me, this scene looks like a lower class citizen begging on his knees to the person whos essentaily employing them to let him keep his job to be able to feed his family and keep his colluges/close friends in work.

This feels like a man whos society is stacked against him trying to keep the one thing he has afloat.

I don't feel this way towards the entire scene. When Blitzo tries to avoid the whole conversation by trying to keep the transaction going, thats when I see more of the emotional side, but it still doesn't sit right with me how the dynamic is being represented.

Stolas explains it pretty well in the moments after. He says "This transactional thing we have, its not right anymore. It hasn't been. It never was. And now, all I can see is how wrong it is to be teathered to someone in such an unfair way. And not know how they feel."

To me, this finally feels like Stolas coming to his senses and realizing that he and Blitzo's relationship is unbalanced. He sees that Blitzo's reliance on him is unfair, so he works to end it.

My problems start to arise again when Stolas reacts to Blitzo trying to play it off again as Roleplay.

I can understand his side of the coin, how he feels that Blitzo only wanted him for sex and nothing more, or how he believes that Blitzo doesnt really care for his feelings and only stays for the book, and when giving Blitzo the option, he chooses to ignore it.

But I still cannot get over how icky this scene makes me feel. Blitzo has made it clear how he thinks Stolas feels about their relationship. In the Just Look My Way music video it seems that Stolas somewhat realizes that Blitzo is hurting in some capacity. When Blitzo vents his frustraitions, Stolas says "I didn't know you thought so lowly of me" which doesnt make any fucking sense in response to what Blitzo is saying.

Again, its that image of a person mistreated by society begging someone who is privlaged to let him keep his job. I cant stomach this idea that Stolas got his fucking feelings hurt over someone he indirectly played with for his own pleasure and to escape his marrige venting their frustraitions about how THEY feel about it. HE HIMSELF admitted that the relationship was unfair, so when Blitzo says "You treat me poorly and expect me to believe when you suddenly express your feelings for me? Can I get a minute to actually process what you said," its litteraly just parroting what Stolas was saying.

Stolas knows how Blitzo feels. He knows Blitzo is hurting. And yeah past relationship trauma isnt an excuse to be shitty, but it's not like Stolas made it very obvious that he did actually care about Blitzo's emotions.

Up until this point the relationship has been one sided on both sides. Both parties think the other doesnt care or that the other is just using them for something. Both sides caught feelings and didnt want to admit it, and Stolas was the bigger person for trying to initiate that discussion. But with the ending line Stolas says and all the promotional matreal being released for the upcoming seasons, the show feels like its going to make Blitzo out to be the one in the wrong when he isnt. Blitzo did the same fucking things Stolas did, so why does it feel like the next few episodes are just going to be "Blitzo sucks and we hate him." Like are you fucking serious??

Maybe I'm reading the whole thing wrong, who knows at this point.

[bonefall]

I’m not sure if you talked about it, but what do you think about A Thief in Thunderclan? I actually liked it, though it definitely had a few ehhh moments

Eh, honestly? Im kinda disappointed that James Barry had to go out on such a low note. I did not like it, it felt like a waste of time.

It wasn't like... offensively bad but I have very little good to say about it. It was fine. If you want to see more ThunderClan you can check it out?

(A lot of Thief in ThunderClan critique below the cut, I didn't like it much)

First of all, the mystery was just bad. I'm sorry. An owl? Swooping in at night for dead animals and leaving perfect scores in the dirt? It felt like a real "running out of ideas" type plot.

Brightheart was NOT fun to follow. She was uncomfortable for most of the story and secondhand embarassment is an emotion I really don't enjoy. Even moments that were supposed to be thought-provoking (like the Brambleclaw name confrontation) just felt like cringe because they were written so poorly.

Like, seriously? "Firestar why did you name Bramble after his father who disfigured me?" "Oh its because i uhhhh wanted to remind ppl of it so they would stop being reminded of it eventually" WHAT? That was a brainless enough choice when it was FIRST made, you can't fucking tell me any cat with a brain cell would go "wao... really makes you think... hngsociety"

I disliked the fact they decided to give Brightheart serious suspicion towards people like Longtail and Brambleclaw, I strongly disagree she would be like that. She feels so much to me like someone who would feel awful for doubting people she logically knows are innocent, and express to Cloudtail that it makes her feel like a bad person, but she CANT help it. She is such a kind, loving, and self doubting sort of cat... or, was, I guess? Or maybe it was never there at all and I'm the fool.

On that note? Her character arc was a mess. As much as I hate Shadow in RiverClan, I can say that Feathertail's arc was a competent *story*. Brightheart is having nightmares, suspects Bramble and Long of treason, is trying to figure out this mystery, trying to help train Rainpaw, the fact she resents not being his mentor is mentioned and dropped, she is pregnant... so much shit is going on and it feels absolutely unfocused.

And even worse, because it's overlapping with the beginning of Firestar's Quest, we end up having to Show Off The Continuity instead of telling a cohesive story. Oop Willowpelt died and Rainpaw is kind of sad about it! But wait we have to say bye to Firestar, make sure to squeeze in the Brambleclaw name confrontation before he goes! GO BACK Longtail has been blinded!! ALSO THE OWL! HERES WHY THE OWL WASNT MENTIONED IN FQ!!

And DUDE if there's anything that's a SERIOUS problem, it's Brightheart's stupid ass cutesy "look who's being USEFUL in here!" When blinded Longtail is helping out in the medcat den

First of all fuck you for the wording of that line! Second of all, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD that disabled people shouldn't have to find a way to be "useful" to belong to their society.

The fact we're getting a book from Bright's perspective as a disabled person and the whole thing is chock full of "useful" language as she struggles with PTSD makes the fact this is COMMON in WC sting so much more.

Anyway back to just, normal critique and not frustration with ableism in wc.

I feel like they really wasted Brightheart's family. I enjoyed finally getting Cinder and Bright hanging out as sisters, but we got a MENTION of Frostfur, and barely anything with her brothers. It's already a mess so why not go the whole way?

Ashfur also has his post-TBC personality retcon which absolutely kills me. Why do we need this shitty "foreshadowing"? Why do we need him to have been so obviously controlling and argumentative? Why are these writers fucking allergic to having a villain that people thought was nice and normal once?

NITPICK: if i have to see another cat gently picked up by a large bird of prey without at LEAST getting a cracked rib I will shapeshift into 10,000 crows and fly away forever

I have some good feelings towards it though, and I have to be clear, this is actually Ambivalent Bones. I'm only mad at the "Usefulness" rhetoric, the rest is just my normal amount of whinging lmao.

I do really like Cinderpelt and Brightheart finally getting some interactions. It's long overdo lmao

I like Cloudtail and Brightheart as a ship so it's nice to see them hang out.

Uhhh this is a bit of a backhanded compliment but I liked how she was upset at not getting one of Whitestorm's children to mentor? I don't like how it bodes for the wider narrative though, because we know this ends in her getting shafted FOR YEARS and unable to get an apprentice. But I liked the plot setup of her having resentment for Cloudtail because of this. I thought that would make a really good plot point for putting a wedge between them to work through. Like, stop being cowards, LEAN INTO Firestar making some very serious, insulting, short-sighted mistakes, and it interfering with Brightheart's ability to heal. Kill your darling.

There were some nice lines. I do remember Ashfur's lame "greedyclaw" insult, which was funny.

I enjoyed the cute moments between the cats in ThunderClan. Ferncloud chasing after her kids, Brightheart convincing people to help her investigate, the Willowkin being upset about their mom. It's a mess but there's some nice stuff in that mess, y'know?

Overall, my memory hasn't been kind to it. I think I was giving it a 6/10 when I first saw it, but it's dropped down to a low 5/10. Not (very) offensive but too messy and pointless to revisit.

[covenofagatha]

the way i scrolled to see what ask the g!p rio one was because i was like wow that's hot and i realised it was mine 😭 you already know I'm all for it, i am a service top!rio truther when it comes to these things. imagining rio begging and needing soo much praise to know she's doing good, needs affirmation even though she's the one technically in charge. curse you (or maybe me because it was my worm i fear)!!!

your favourite colour being purple makes a lot of sense... you and agatha harkness purple witch...... you're so gay 🙄 /lh

building sets is pretty fun, coming up with the designs is the best part! the pain comes from actually doing the math parts (how heavy my flown stuff can be, the thickness of the wood, what kind of wood, how I'm securing it etc) and because my math is so crap i spend excessively long on it oops. I'm not the one in charge generally, i just build whatever designs they throw my way haha.

the company im with is amateur and we're mostly doing it for the passion! so don't expect much, as for plays I've peformed in, I've done the-scottish-traitor-i-will-not-name, A Christmas Carol, and a few other smaller ones for kids lol. the ones I've helped out in (for stage managing, lighting, etc) are The 39 Steps, Aladdin, Pride and Prejudice, Beauty and The Beast, Jekyll & Hyde etc. i use my weekends to work on them when I'm not yelling at my computer or at the gym!

I've been cast as Noel (I'm awfully masculine so they decided it was fine lol) for Ride The Cyclone which I'm not sure you know. His song (Noel's Lament, you can search it up) is pretty fun, I'm more concerned about the costume... you don't strike me as a theatre kid, though i might be wrong! What kind of music do you listen to dear?

your aspirations sound awesome, i think it's really cool that you want to get into the education sector.. maybe that's why you like abbott elementary! speaking of which, who's your favourite from there / who do you resonate with? I've been told I'm a carbon copy of gregory, down to the side eyes 😭

i suppose it's only fair i share three fun facts of my own! 1) i wake up at 5am religiously every single day, and regardless of what time i sleep at my body wakes me up anyways. I'm also the kind that can't fall back asleep once I've opened my eyes so... lol. i usually get a workout in and shower/rot a bit before i headout for classes. if I'm really tired, the latest I've woken up is 8am lol. it's why I've never understood the "fucked-so-good-woke-up-12-hours-later" thing, but that could also be chalked up to my virgin ass oops.

2) i can speak 4 (working towards a fifth) languages, english is actually my third language which is why I'm so scared to post my own work! so I'll stay in the anonymity of my worm field thank you very much. won't share what the rest are because they'd reveal what ethnicity i am, and how am i supposed to be cool and mysterious and nonchalant if people know who i am... hope that's alright <3

3) not really interesting but I'm actually pan! men are great and there are plenty cool ones, it's just really hard for me to find them attractive after they hurl like 10 different slurs at someone or they're just. yeah. no hate to them and i have no preference (which is awfully telling of me, truly, because how do i have literally all avenues and yet remain unable to score a single one smh) and also women are very very very hot. I'm scared to talk to them irl or online which is why I'm anonymous 99% of the time 😅

question time: out of genuine curiosity, how tall are you? I'm going to go on a whim and say you're 5'5 (i dont know what that is in metres so it's just the vibes) lol. and, out of all the platforms you're on (instagram, twitter, tiktok, tumblr, ao3, i dunno what you're on really), which do you prefer posting on the most and why? finally, if you were a pokemon (not sure if you even like pokemon so change it to an animal if you don't want em), what would you be?

as always, take care and have a good tuesday! I hope all is well for you and i hope you don't fall asleep in your classes like i did today, lol. I'm really happy to hear you took some time off for me and i hope you know you shouldn't feel any pressure to post/write things! we'll always be here at the end of the day, regardless of what you post. don't tire yourself out from the gym too much (share the routine though!) and i hope you have a good time! remember to stay hydrated, rest well dear 💜

-lots of love, worm anon

Okay okay to be fair purple was my favorite before AAA came out but yes still pretty gay of me I know

I like math but that math does not sound very fun but all of that other stuff sounds cool!

I have never heard of Ride the Cyclone whoops but I will look it up along with the song (I am NOT a theater kid at all) but omg good luck!! (if it hasn't already happened and if it has then I'm sure you did great)

I mostly listen to pop/indie (I guess) music: Conan Gray, Gracie Abrams, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Noah Kahan are the big ones but I dabble with others

Honestly, I think my favorite is Melissa and I like to think I resonate with her (at least more than all the other ones). Gregory is fucking hilarious and his little side eyes to the camera kill me so I approve of you being his carbon copy

5 am is crazy, I'm definitely an early riser no matter what as well, but never willingly that early...I think the latest I've ever slept until has been like 9 am so I'm right there with you

That is so cool! You sound very smart

I'm like 5'3'' and a half so I always round up to 5'4'' god how are you basically right about that too

I enjoy posting on tumblr the most (all the other social media sites I'm on I NEVER post on so I guess just from process of elimination lol) but I do find tumblr easier than ao3

I'm going to be so for real I don't know a thing about pokemon (I do have one gold card (is that what they're called? idk)) so I think if I were an animal I'd be a turtle

Ohhh I'm not hitting the gym I genuinely think I wouldn't be able to move tomorrow if I lifted (and I'm not even sure I'd be able to lift like the bar at this point) so I am going for a swim! Probably just for an hour or something, super chill and all, just trying to get back into it

Hope your day is going well 💜

[qhazomb]

so i mentioned in the notes of that one post that made some OCs to replace gordon and benry in the 'leviathan au' because oops i got too attached to it/the leviathan form designs. i'm calling this "cosmic deep" as the original story title/setting/what-have-you.

it's taking me longer than i'd like to fuckin', finish drawing both of them so here's a sneaky peek at them, plus some blurbs about them.

replacing gordon is a dude named Max Rhodes, who doesn't have glasses or as much facial hair as gordon, but he definitely has as much social awkwardness and neuroticism as the one free streamer, hah. he has better taste in video games than gordon :B rather than a theorhetical physicist, he's a deep sea researcher (which honestly makes more sense for why he'd even be in some experimental research sub in the first place). he will nerd out about the ocean if you ever give him the chance. he doesn't have an ex-wife and son, but he does have a brother, sister-in-law, and niece. his full first name is Maxwell but he fuckin' hates being called maxwell. will literally accept any other version of the name except that one. the company he works for is... not exactly on the up-and-up, which max had some suspicions about, but eventually gets confirmation on... the bad way.

and replacing benry is "He Who Joins the Sky and Sea" as he was named by a now long-gone seaside town that once worshiped him... but that's a bit of a mouthful, so he just goes by 'Kevin' now (it also works better as a name when he's pretending to be a human person). he's a lot more openly expressive with his face and voice than benry is, and doesn't have any kind of emotion expressing 'sweet voice' expy. he can breathe out a stardust mist that has its own interesting properties, though! like i headcanon with sweet voice, it's basically the energy of life itself. he doesn't get into video games until after meeting max and doing human stuff with him. kevin finds that he really likes video games. and also pizza. pizza good. he didn't really have much of an opinion on humans before meeting max, aside from "kind of interesting, sometimes, i guess". but after saving max, deciding to 'keep him' on a whim, getting a lot more attached than he ever expected and growing to really care about this human and his thoughs/feelings, kevin's opinion on humans over all becomes less 'like an ant to a human' and more 'like an ant to a human who sees, likes, and respects ants as the complicated and interesting lil guys they are.' (tho i guess maybe the ant analogy falls apart a bit when one of said 'ants' becomes his boyfriend :V of course, max doesn't stay an ant forever!) he likes coming up with different nicknames for max. maxie, maximus, max-a-million, maximum overdrive, etc. but he always avoids maxwell! he knows max don't like that one, and max appreciates that bit of care once he realizes what kevin is doing.