#I also am wary of who I trust online!

[panfreaka]

please be careful running this sort of blog as a minor. things can go wrong really fast. you don’t know who cld be lurking. cosigned someone who had a similar blog when i was a minor and it ended up affecting me in the long run bc of the sheer shit people sent to me just bc they knew they could get awy w/ it anonymously. can i suggst maybe consider getting rid of anon? just a suggestion. take care.

Thank you for your concern! I do understand that this is a risk, and that I should be careful.

I take these asks with a grain of salt and if anything is too uncomfortable, I will simply delete it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for deleting my classmate's online output in retaliation for previous grievances, & WIBTA if I kept this up?

📚🧪🗑️

(↑ so I know Tumblr didn't toss it into the void)

Take your time reading this before the poll. Trust me, everything matters.

I (16NB) am a student that migrated from the regular 10th grade sections into the top section of my school's STEM program via passing the admission test. I'm part of the very few that made it from the regular sections into such a prestigious senior high strand (which had only 3 sections and ±30 students per section), and the rest of my classmates and batchmates come from specialized programs that they were in since 7th grade. Naturally, they don't know me, and wouldn't think much of me due to my previously "mediocre" background. But really, I was only able to join the STEM strand this year because of financial difficulties during the lockdowns, so my parents could only afford to put me through the regular sections from grades 8 to 10.

Amongst my specialized program classmates was this girl, who I will call V for anonymity. V (16F) struck me as aloof and reserved at first. Our class seating arrangement dictated that I sit near the window farthest from the door, and V near the room exit, so we were 3 columns and one aisle apart, and had no one-on-one interactions so far due to this.

The entire school year in my school is split into two semesters, two quarters each semester, so four quarters. In Q1, I tried signing up for the strand-exclusive club that was practically a boost for report card grades, the STEM club, and we used printed forms. I filled in my form, and V collected the forms from everyone who signed up to give to the STEM club leader. We waited a week for confirmation of our acceptance (which was our forms being given back with a red stamp and the leader's signature) and everyone except me got them back. I asked V if she received my form. "No, you didn't give me any," she had said. I was denied another form by the leader, who accused me of lying about me having already given the form.

I didn't ask for a rivalry, but I had no choice but to be wary.

In Q2, our Earth Science professor gave us a lab activity and grouped us by random. I ended up in a group with V in it. I actively participated in the activity by helping prepare the materials and answering the guide questions on the activity sheet given by our professor, but I was stumped when it came to a question that required some research. Our professor allowed us to assign someone by group to take the activity sheet home and submit a picture instead when we ran out of time, so I went to my group's chat and asked them to wait for me as I finished the answer for that particular question. It took me an hour or so before I finally got the answer. I gave the answer to my groupmates, but V said that they had already turned it in, confirmed by my other groupmates. I asked them "Why did you hurry the submission? We had plenty of time left to refine and finalize the answers." They didn't reply, and they didn't answer me when I brought it up the next day in person. I went to my professor and explained the situation, even providing screenshots of my group messages as proof, but he didn't believe me. However, he did let me write down my answer to the question I was doing research for.

By then, I suspected V had convinced them to submit the activity sheet without me, and going back to Q1, also got rid of my membership form when she had the opportunity. I think she also might have lied to the professor that I wasn't even participating in the lab activity, and damn if he was gullible enough to fall for it.

Come Q3, this current quarter. Our professor in Literature gave us homework to be submitted in Google Drive. I did mine, converted it into the required file format, and had uploaded it to the Drive folder when I came across V's output. I figured it was time she got what was coming when she ruined my reputation to the teaching staff, so I deleted it. I secured my own folder so nobody but I can edit/delete it, just in case. The next day after that, V had nothing for submission and let's just say took some hits when the professor scolded her, and I have plans to get rid of more of her future outputs since we're relying on online tools for turning in homework.

On one hand, I feel a bit bad for doing that, and in addition I'm also scared I may be caught/traced. But on the other, I felt that it was only fair that she experienced even a fraction of humiliation that I faced during Q1 and Q2.

I dunno, Tumblr, AITA for that, and WIBTA for continuing with my plans?

What are these acronyms?

[pkmnherpetology]

are there any groups of reptile/specific species you personally would really like to see show up in a future game? personally speaking, the one that first comes to mind is sandfish skinks, because I think recent games showed that they could do some really fun stuff vis a vis: reflecting their irl movements

[oh, yes, i've got quite a list. i'm sure i'm missing some, because i really do love a great many species and i cannot list them all off the top of my head, but here's the ones i've written down and a few new additions i just came up with:

-the side-blotched lizard (common, i think? i've had a migraine today, forgive me if this is the wrong species). their fascinating rock-paper-scissors mating strategy opens up a possibility for a pokémon species with three morphs for males and two for females (there is overlap between the morphs, i think females are orange and yellow). please, if you look up anything on this list, let it be these. i am so fascinated by this mating strategy. it would make a great fire-water-grass trio.

-the fish-scale gecko. this gecko genus has the hilarious and slightly disturbing defense mechanism of just…getting naked when it’s upset. it drops its scales and turns into what looks like a raw piece of chicken. a signature ability for this pokémon could be one that causes it to change forms when hit by a physical attack in battle. apparently, they get naked very readily, which is kinda funny to me.

-blunthead tree snakes. reason:

-horned lizards. reason:

fuck you i cast eyeball blood.

-bush vipers (genus atheris). look, they’re just really fucking pretty and pokémon doesn’t have enough snakes and i really like these ones so please put them in the game. look them up, but be wary of photoshopped images. for some reason people really like to alter their colors online, which i don't understand because they're beautiful as is.

-moloch. it just looks cool and i like it.

-a proper whiptail lizard or mourning gecko pokémon. like salazzle, but instead of being a weird femdom mind-control fetish pokémon it’s a normal all-female lizard pokémon species.

-basilisk lizard. come on, don’t tell me you’ve never thought the water-walking lizard wouldn’t make a cool water type. inteleon doesn’t count because he sucks and also i think is mostly based on a veiled chameleon. which are a right pain to work with, by the way. they're very fragile and the one at my previous job irl was rather ill-tempered, he didn't trust any of us younger workers, so my boss did most of his care. he was like, "we're never getting another chameleon, this guy's exhausting."

-komodo dragon. out of all the monitor lizards, this is the most impressive to me. their venom, enormous stature, and cute paws have me enraptured, and i think they could make for a good poison-fighting or poison-dark type pokémon.

-snake-necked turtles. reason:

-boomslangs. one of very few rear-fanged snakes with potent enough venom to kill a human, a juvenile boomslang is responsible for one of my favorite pieces of herpetological history: the death of karl p. schmidt. schmidt was a renowned herpetologist who was sent the live juvenile for identification, i think it was. because boomslang venom wasn't as widely known in the west as it is now, and due to the fact that it was a juvenile (some stories also say that his mistake was due to it being a rear-fanged snake, which are almost all harmless), schmidt did not believe that the snake posed a threat. it bit him, and he recorded his symptoms over the next day before he collapsed and died. allegedly, he also refused treatment for his symptoms because it would interfere with his recordings, but i haven't found a source for this. i have, however, read his notes. they are very matter of fact and awfully calm considering they're all basically like "i pissed blood!" rip karl p. schmidt, you died a fucking insane death.

-bitis genus snakes. they're all so beautiful!

-hognose snakes (genus heterodon, to be clear). these cute, sassy snakes are very clear about their boundaries and are best known for their extremely dramatic fake death display (which btw you should never trigger on purpose) and their cute, upturned noses, but did you know they're also slightly venomous? hognoses are another rear-fanged colubrid, though their venom is so mild its existence was debated for a long time. my boss once allowed one to envenomate him after a mistaken feeding bite just to see what would happen (the answer is not much, even after being envenomated five times all that happened was his finger swelled up and was kind of numb). he did note the similarities between himself and schmidt afterwards. the eastern hognose's venom was apparently once thought to be a result of their diet of toxic toads, which they consume in a rather gruesome manner i won't relate here.

-bighead turtles. reason:

-softshell turtles. they're kind of douchebags, especially the spiny softshell, but i really like them!

-titanoboa. fossil pokémon idea. come on.

thank you for giving me the chance to share this list. i hope you all enjoy these animals.]

[1eos]

RE: social justice praxis online, it's crazy how you can get hate for saying "Yeah, well, I don't care what identity this person has, that shit they did was still horrible even years ago, that's why I tell people who would care about interacting with someone who "was" like that" and get hit with the "You won't let people grow and change 😡" like no, they can change whatever they want, I don't want to interact with them tho, and I want to warn others who might feel the same about this person who used to be harmful or whatever. It's such a joke too, there's this post going around (made by a black person too we are never getting out of the self hatred) about how "we should forgive trans women for having been into hateful and bigoted spaces before they changed, why are we being mean to the most marginalized members of the community?" And its like, seeing that after the whole "white trans women on here shielding themselves with their transness from black trans people calling them out on their racism because they kept arguing that race place is inherently trans" fiasco is like, ummmm idk I think I just don't like white people who were bigots in their youth 🙂 who cares if they are trans or not, they still did that shit. Also, so funny because I looked into the person who made that post before blocking and they literally used to be one of the most hated ppl on the internet because of the bigoted bullshit they had going on back then, they just rebranded, including pretending to be Asian 🫠 and their partner is apparently just as gross, like no wonder you are trying to say calling out people for their 'old' transgressions is mean 🥺 you have a whole closet full of allegations too LMAO

👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲👨🏾‍🦲 not you devouring like that oop! no but literallyyyyyy 😭 and its probably mean of me but when ppl kinda push back at the idea that even if you apologize you're not owed trust and ppl are right to still be wary about you i just assume they've done something LMAO? like without fail whenever i see someone thats like 'the internet won't let ppl grow' i just know in the next 5 years their skeletons are gonna come tumbling out. its just so stupid like no im not gonna give my undivided attention to wipe the asses of white ppl who had to acquire a facet of marginalization to be like 'ohhhh maybe i shouldnt be uber levels racist and kick it down to normal levels of gay people racist' bc a lot of these ppl who 'were' in in hateful bigoted spaces still are in hateful bigoted spaces its just that the spaces now have pride flags attached 😭😭😭😭 like you're still racist even if you get off to calling something a n****r idk what to tell you. and ppl will really argue you down that all discussions on racism center around the ppl who still have crazy unchecked biases hence the way they mass block black ppl that don't agree with them. im soooo over it esp bc i feel like it shows how...........childish people are? surface level? unintelligent? one level of marginalization doesn't negate bigoted views. you can be mariginalized and be a bigot like literally one of the biggest villains in black history is clarence thomas and he's LITERALLY black. and also just bc you can't trust someone who used to be running w bigots doesn't mean you want them dead. i don't care what anyone says if u tell me you used to run with nazis im literally never gonna fuck with you 😭 and im not gonna let ppl be transphobic or homophobic towards you but i am nawtttttttttttt gone be in community like that i dooooooo not care

[aita-irl]

aita for looking through my sister's discord messages?

submitted on september 18th 2024

me (18) and my sister chespin (13) have never entirely gotten along. good days, bad days, the usual for siblings. the main thing we do is she comes to me and talks out her friendship conflicts because she doesn't tell her therapist anything. she has a lot of online friends and not many irl ones, so when she loses one of the former she shuts down for the rest of the day

recently my mom got concerned that someone chespin talks to online, "big brother" serperior (21), might be grooming her. i'm a victim myself, so obviously i've been wary about it too ever since i heard he was nearly a whole decade older than her, but i spoke to serperior about a year ago and blindly assumed everything was fine. i recently also got told that serperior was doing sexual roleplay with chespin long before either of them knew the age of the other, but it had supposedly stopped immediately after ages were given

i asked for permission to look through the messages between chespin and this guy the day before submitting and she said no, but my mom requested i do it anyways this morning because of the possible grooming risk. i objected but she said it was a safety concern and i figured that i couldn't argue with that

now after looking through the messages i can safely say that at worst chespin is being groomed and manipulated by someone with an incest fetish and at best serperior has no idea that making sex jokes and sending pokemon pregnancy art to someone 8 years his junior is fucking weird and creepy. obviously i intend to tell our mom about this and i can only assume this will get chespin cut off from serperior for her safety and maybe even result in a discord ban

i feel so awful about disrespecting the boundaries of a kid who already has issues, but now that i know there's a man old enough to have a full-time job taking advantage of her i don't think respecting the boundary would have been safe in the long run. i don't want what she feels like is her only outlet for dealing with her issues to be completely destroyed just because a simple request was ignored, but if nothing is done i'm terrified about what serperior might do to her. chespin doesn't know anything about it yet, but i assume she'll be lectured about it not long after mom finds out, which likely won't end well for anyone

am i the asshole?

tl;dr mom requested i snoop on my little sister's discord dms despite her expressly refusing permission for me to do that. i told mom that i didn't want to hurt my sister's trust like that, but in the end i had to read through them anyways, and now i know for a fact that my sister is being groomed or at least creeped on

[gaypastabake]

Hi uh, im sorry that ive had to make this post but it has really been bothering me and eating on my conscience for a while

I keep getting random asks in my box from people claiming to be from Palestine and need urgent aid. I really really do not trust these because I am an extremely small creator and theres little chance that these arent bots who are trying to contact me, I think im alright to be wary because I wouldnt want to end up supporting people abusing a real life crisis. Not only that but they all seem to have similar messages and usernames are likely copy-pasted, its also really confusing why somebody would use Tumblr inboxes of all places to acquire funding for anything. I did a little bit of research about this and ive basically been advised to trust my gut if something is making me wary or uncomfortable.

I have no means of donating because I have no income of my own (relying on family), and in general I prefer donating offline, in shops or in events because it feels less personal and it means that more people get aid rather than a single person.

However I would like to stress that if anyone does have means to donate to the people of Palestine, its a nice idea to support trustworthy good causes. Although I would personally say be careful where you donate and if something feels like a bot or a scam, trust your gut.

this post is specifically to verbalize something that has been stressing me out and making me spiral into allot of unnecessary guilt and paranoia for a while. I dont want to be dragged into any discourse relating to this because I am cripplingly terrified of online interactions to a point that it can eat into my personal life.

[commajade]

Hello. I have been looking through your blog for the relationship between antiblackness, Korea and colonialism. But specifically do you have any academic works or recommendation reading on the LA Riot (or maybe any your personal analysis). I feel like sources online tend to be shallow in its analysis. I also wanted to thank you as another queer Korean for your analysis and work.

thanks! glad ur enjoying my v informal thoughts on this blog!

i don't have resources on hand because i find any writing about the rodkey king uprisings that aren't specifically about the way antiblackness is the foundation of the US economy and global capitalist society and south korea is a US neocolony to be fundamentally lacking. it's a complex historical event that has continuities with the rest of the US history of police brutality and resulting uprisings so i am in no way an authority on that aspect.

so this is a disclaimer that this is my attempt to show a limited political view as a korean person talking about the perspective of korean diaspora in southern california.

in my understanding the rodney king uprisings were a natural and historically repeating result of oppressed people expressing grief, anger, and communal political power in response to police brutality and the ways antiblackness is the foundation of the US economic, legal, and social systems. this iteration of this pattern involves korean-americans because of the murder of latasha harlins by a korean shop owner that was 1 year before and the way korean american small business owners became militant because they were targeted for looting and theft and property destruction by people agitated by the uprisings as well as well as the cops.

what happened is that the murder of latasha harlins was utterly evil and disgusting and happened as a result of a lot of different historical factors. there's a saying among korean diaspora that early korean immigrants, especially the ones in LA, tend to be meaner, harder, more jaded, and less trusting. the awful economic conditions and violent racism they faced made them very closed off. the history of US military presence in south korea and the ideas about race that experiencing US military occupation during the desegregation of the US military gave them + being outsiders setting up businesses in historically black urban areas made them wary, paranoid, and virulently antiblack. at the same time, the chief of police made a decision to protect white neighborhoods and businesses and not korean ones. so even those who were initially less prone to enacting antiblackness felt it was life or death situation to be militant in defending their property. meanwhile some black people felt it was right to get something during the chaos from businesses that are actively racist. it was a warzone, because white cops vs black people in their homes who are agitated by police violence is always an all out warzone. korean people remember it as sa-i-gu/4-2-9, as a war. they were completely unprotected by the state and their own part in policing black people in their own neighborhoods was what made them targets to the people agitated by the uprisings.

the event has had a huge impact on korean diaspora in california, any koreans that could move out of urban areas into suburban areas moved and went further and further south into orange county. the ones who remained simply have to live with the tension and fallout and distrust and many of them are very antiblack. there is a cultural memory of sa-i-gu that perpetuates antiblack myths that black people are more likely to be violent or dislike korean people. this solidifies the racist beliefs that military occupation instilled in korean people from the 1950s to now. this is another way that white supremacist racial capitalism works.

i guess my "take" is that colonization and military occupation of the US in south korea is what makes korean diaspora so antiblack and that the rodney king uprisings were another war of white supremacist cops vs people trying to survive. and korean diaspora need to realize that the entire world is built on a foundation of antiblackness and the US and its neocolony the ROK are the ones putting korean poor people in these life or death situations, not other oppressed people. what's necessary is korean reunification, removal of US military presence from the korean peninsula and turtle island (the north american continent), abolishment of the US government in all its carceral and brutalizing ways, landback to the indigenous people of turtle island, etc.

[sea-lestial-dream-witch]

Hiii i was wondering if you could teach me about sea witchcraft, and/or divination or intuition. i am a pisces so i feel like it is meant for me.

Hi, there! Welcome to the witch club🔮✨

My first suggestion to you is that if you are truly interested in sea witchcraft, divination and intuition, you need to do some research. This is the most important step - you cannot rely on the knowledge of others. Find out what speaks to you and what resonates with you. Look online, buy books or go to the library.

To explore sea witchcraft, I suggest you commune with the sea or ocean if possible. Go visit the beach and feel the sand beneath your feet, breathe as the waves rise and fall. Think of how everything is connected. Shells, bones and fossils break down into the sand we walk on. Think of the immensity of time, think of your place in the universe. Center yourself. Most importantly, thank nature and thank the ocean/sea before you leave, and be respectful while you are there.

You can also collect sea water or a small amount of beach sand and utilize this in your craft: in spellwork, make a salt circle with sand, allow the sea water to evaporate and scrap up the sea salt, cleanse crystals (some crystals dissolve in salt so do research). Do not take shells - respecting nature and all the ecosystems is arguably the biggest part of communing with nature.

I love to visit the beach at night because I feel very connected to the moon, as many sea witches do. Consider what about the sea/ocean calls out to you.

As for divination, I would again recommend research first to see which forms of divination stand out to you. Try using a crystal, or water, or a pendulum when you are ready to begin divination.

And keep in mind that protection is crucial in witchcraft regardless of what you do. You must shield yourself from unwanted energies.

In terms of intuition, a lot of it is about trusting your gut feeling and being in tune with your emotions and senses. Try shadow work prompts. Shadow work is “working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide from yourself.”

Now, be wary of magical thinking. Don’t assume you can magically read minds or know what everyone thinking. This can make you vulnerable to self-sabotage because you get into a mindset where your behavior is altered by how you perceive others around you. You perceive that their thoughts are negative so in turn you act differently.

Honestly, as someone who is intuitive, my goal is never to get into someone’s mind, rather, it just happens. My mom is the same way. We subconsciously pick up on the subtle things, like a shift in someone’s tone of voice or a change in their expression. My mom and I have both spooked people by basically accidentally guessing things, in good detail, too.

Not everyone is intuitive. If this doesn’t apply to you or resonate with you, (anyone reading this) that’s okay! You have other strengths you’ve yet to discover. This is a lifelong journey.

My biggest tips are: don’t force anything, don’t get hung up on outcomes. Perform your craft with a calm focus, and trust the process. Trust in what is meant to be. If you are doing divination or spellwork but you doubt every step, you doubt your abilities, you question the outcome - you are not only holding yourself back, but you are also literally blocking the outcome you desire.

If one thing doesn’t work or feels forced, shift your focus and move on. If you try divination over and over and it just feels unnatural, simply move on. Focus on what makes you feel good and what you feel connected to, what makes you feel grounded.

Regardless of what you do, protection is imperative.

Remember, this is a journey and there is always more to learn. No one has all the answers or all the knowledge.

Hit me up if you need clarification on the above or if you have more questions :)

🌊sea star witch🌟

[eroticcannibal]

It's still a minority view (plenty of varied viewpoints do get conflated with those things though, by people who have also grown up with the criticism of men = man hate line and internalised it in the other direction). It's still heavily exagruated by bad actors. Have you not actually talked to these people? Have you not looked at what they feel is man hate? Have you seen the examples the radicalised will list? Evil radfems saying all men are scum on twitter is a *tiny* fraction of what they feel attacked by and is almost never what they feel *most* attacked by.

I saw an intelligent, reasonable, compassionate, previously explicitly feminist man become *violently* (and I do mean violently, I was the target) antifeminist overnight because I expressed on Facebook I was having a trauma response (wariness of men) after an assault. And you know what else? Not a single man in that room defended me from *actual violence* because to them, fear looked like hate. Anything that made them uncomfortable looked like hate. This was during a time where publically discussing online your experiences with sexual assault was first becoming a Big Thing, the original #MeToo (interesting that it had to happen twice), and there really wasn't anyone going all men evil, just all men can be scary because we don't know who will hurt us. There was SO MUCH EFFORT to add nuance to the discussion, to let men know hey! We aren't saying *youre* bad! And they would not listen. Why? Because they'd rather listen to other men saying we are man hating feminists who are calling them all rapists even when we explicitly say the opposite! And that got me assaulted by a friend. The same shit fucking led to elevatorgate ffs. How dare a woman say she is uncomfortable, that's man hate, ignore all evidence to the contrary.

And yknow I did see an uptick in *performative* man hate at the time, but it was purely reactionary and it was a *test* (and a lot of current supposed "man hate" is still a relic of this era). Since you can make clear you don't hate men all you want and they will still say you do, "yes all men" became a sort of password. If you could here that without being a little bitch about it, if you knew the context because you actually bothered to listen, then you were cool. You knew no one actually meant that because you bothered to listen to them instead of people lying for political gain.

This is a tactic that has been going on since *before feminism even existed* and it is effective! It relies more upon the constructed belief that feminism is anti man which has become very well established over the years than it does the actual behaviour of feminists. I would strongly encourage you to look at anti-feminist sentiment throughout and predating the history of feminism (starting with the votes for women movement, that's the earliest I am personally aware of, there may be earlier examples) and see how we got to this point. Convincing every feminist to never again say "men are evil" will not create any change. (Which is not to say people *should* do it, but just that it's not the true root of this kind of radicalisation). Actual examples of it are *convenient* but not necessary for this tactic.

I would never *entirely* discredit the viewpoints of someone who has escaped cults and cult tactic using groups (I've been through that, I get it), but I would encourage caution with how much you trust the narrative of the *whys* from someone who has escaped. Leaving is quicker than undoing the thinking, and I really do believe that user isn't quite there yet. Best case scenario, that user is right about *them*, but it is not correct of radicalised men in general.

Because you can be as gentle as you like to these people getting radicalised, you can have all the nuance in the world, you could make it so that no one, not even as a joke, says anything about hating men, and you know what will happen? Just like has always happened, they will listen to who they want to listen to. They will listen to the people promising them superiority, they will listen to the people giving them a reason for their economic suffering (we must remember how much economics plays into radicalisation), that reason being evil feminists. They will see the man hate regardless of if it is there or not. Because they have been told to. Because it is convenient for them. And even if you convince them that we don't hate *men*, now you've got to convince them we don't hate them for being *white*. The point is not the hate they perceive but the superiority they seek and the power they desperately want.

Radicalisation and cult tactics do not rely on facts.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[orphancookie69]

Now Entering My Legal Aid Era!

So I have been in Real Estate for at least 5 years, and in many states real estate transactions involve a lawyer. In cali, they do not (yet). But the understanding of law and paperwork makes this a very legal like job.

This year alone I have helped family members with trust disputes, creating living trusts, reverse mortgages, and now divorce. I somehow became this (surprisingly competent) legal aid. I have made posts about the trust disputes-the new living trust and reverse are after actions of that (and still in progress). This post is going to be about Divorce.

My Background:

It is interesting to come from a background of divorce from the generation above me. A stark contrast from the generation above that of my parents that both of my parents (as I knew my parents to be when I was young) are still together. I would later find out that I am adopted and there is more of a mix of marriage and divorces in the paternal (biological) side of the family. I just recently lost my grandfather, who was married to my grandmother for nearly 60 years. This shaped my view of marriage, mixed with my old school sense of "one and done".

But my parents were married for about 10 years. Before the end of the first marriage, my mom had switched gears. I was too young to help with her first divorce but I know that she just finished it before entering marriage #2. Second marriage lasted a similar amount of time as the second one. She has since met someone else and they are interested in getting married in the medium to long term future. For the fact that this is her second go around with Divorce, she's having issues.

She used to be in Real Estate, but it has been many years and is now a flight attendant. Me being in real estate, I can do weird paperwork. So I took over and took my time in assessing where she was at in comparison to where she wanted to be. We tried to hire a lawyer to help us, but she refused to help us and was really rude.

Divorce 101:

So there are 3 basic steps to divorce: File, Serve, and Submit. You file the request to divorce with the court. While there can be nuances to the types of responses or whether or not there are kids/assets-the other party is served and can choose to/not to contest it. Once step 1 is done, you go over the bulk of the paperwork with the partner, and file something stated you have done your due diligence as a couple. Once that is done you submit everything and hope it goes through.

This particular divorce is no kids, no assets, and not contested. This should be the simplest divorce ever.

So we attempting file once, and it comes back with remarks on how to fix it. We made the corrections and then I filed again. I tried to call to get clarification on the second round of corrections and they are open by phone for 1 HOUR A DAY during the week. It took me almost the whole hour to get them on the phone. I tried emailing them but that did not go through? I was advised to go in person or submit my stuff online.

I tried to make time to go in person, but when I went it was CLOSED. For indian people day? Like no notice. So I made another day to go and then they told me because I was not named, they would not speak to me. Literally if I had a lawyers education-my life in that moment would be so much easier. So I just dropped it off. Hoping for good things in round 3 but the things they said were wrong, I couldn't find anywhere on the documents.

Also, this has made me way more wary of divorce. Like I wasn't the biggest fan of it before but damn. Like we are supposed to have one of the better systems and any time I interact with it, it sucks worse and worse.

While everyone else seems to be entering their "bad bitch era" or "spooky ho season" here I am kicking ass and taking names, courthouse style. My sister has joked that I should become a lawyer, and my reply was, "Legally Brunette" coming soon to you in theater's! I thought it was a funny, completion of things if you will, given where I have been, where I am at, and where I am possibly going in life!

[reflected-ship]

Headcanon Generator Meme

Roa

1. Roa has an intense fear of people.

“Being wary of strangers does not mean I am afraid of people, and neither does my choice to keep to myself rather than seeking to expand my social circle.<”

She doesn’t have an intense fear, she just has trust issues and paranoia that happen to be directly tied to her interactions with others. Huuuuge difference.

2. Roa will remind others in the midst of chaos how good *they're* being.

“No, I wouldn’t.<”

She would, however, probably say something along the lines of “I shouldn’t have to deal with this”, or remark that she doesn’t want to be there— if the chaotic situation involves the few people she actually knows, that is. Otherwise, expect silence and the avoidance of anything that might bring attention to herself. But what else is new…

3. Roa can drive.

“… If one were to equate utilizing my own means of locomotion as driving, I guess. I personally don’t, as driving generally implies the use of a land-based vehicle that also isn’t one’s own body.<”

4. Roa is asexual.

Looks like the generator wanted to state the obvious here.

5. Roa desperately needs a hug but doesn't know it and refuses to ask for one.

“…..<”

Ah… She doesn’t want to talk about this one, it seems. Perhaps a little too accurate for comfort. Or the ship is in denial.

Magoroa

1. Magoroa has been canceled on Twitter.

“… I don’t know what that is.”

Unlike his counterpart in the Overworld, this mage isn’t borderline terminally online. If he was this would absolutely be true, though. He IS a scammer.

2. Magoroa is awful with kids.

“Maybe, I don’t know. The demographic where I live doesn’t exactly include a lot of children.”

3. If someone they knew commited a crime, Magoroa would cover for them.

“… Depends on how I came to know them. And which side gives the better deal. It’s an eye for an eye out here, but if it doesn’t have to be mine, may as well pawn off someone else’s. I’m sure folks would do the same to me.”

4. It would not take much for Magoroa to turn evil.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

To be fair, that was way more true in the past than it is now.

5. Magoroa has not showered in two and a half weeks.

“Stars forbid I want to avoid freezing to death in this dumb cave. There’s not even running water here, let alone soap and whatnot.”

Unfortunately, two and a half weeks is being very, very generous. Try closer to a few months... At least the cold climate makes it less obvious.

((Tagged by: @abyssembraced

Tagging: anyone who wants to steal!))

[nuclearspring-a]

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐕𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐒 ( 𝐎𝐑 ) 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐌𝐁. INDEPENDENT FALLOUT BASED MULTI FEATURING CANONS AND OCS FROM NEW VEGAS, FALLOUT TV, AND FALLOUT 1. 21+ & MUTUALS ONLY. PLEASE READ RULES BEFORE INTERACTING.

by scout (27, any pronouns).

note: my fallout tv verse is adjusted to mesh better with new vegas canon. more information on that here. (link leads to fallout tv spoilers; proceed with caution).

roster includes (primaries bolded; the rest are secondary): albert cole, alejandro "cash" castillo (vegas & ncr based oc), arcade gannon, benny, betty zhao (vegas based oc), boone, cooper howard, courier six (sasha dubrovhsky, alias boris medvedev), lucy maclean, maximus, ulysses, & veronica santangelo.

you can find more thorough descriptions of characters here, including links to bios.

to interact: if we're mutuals, shoot me a meme, send me an ask, or dm me! provided i'm following you, i am open to interaction or plotting whenever, and will respond when i can.

rules:

001. i'm generally comfortable with most subject matter covered in fallout canon (within reason - there are some things handled by fallout that i personally think were handled very poorly, and i am certainly highly critical of the media, which does include grievances with new vegas, and there will sometimes be criticism of it on this blog), but i won't write incest, rape / csa, etc, and will block those who do / who fetishize anything of the sort.

no racism, antisemitism, zionism, (and if you think those latter two are the same thing, dni) etc will be tolerated. terfs dni. the usual. i won't interact with muses from harry potter, peaky blinders, attack on titan, or detroit: become human / other david cage games. i may not follow multis back if they have content on them that i worry my mutuals might not be comfortable with as well, and tend to be quite wary given past experiences. i will also sometimes block or softblock if i see interactions with people or characters i'm not entirely comfortable with for whatever reason. indie is a little weird and, as previously mentioned, i've had some strange experiences. i encourage controlling your own space in the indie world. for that reason, i'll never take a block personally. also on that note, if we're mutuals and you see me interacting with someone who has, for lack of a better phrase, done some harmful shit, feel free to send me a dm and let me know.

while i'm not personally comfortable disclosing my ethnicity online - it is something that i've been taught to hide when possible - except to people i know and trust and talk to, i will disclose that i do look to new vegas as something to process and explore certain aspects of my identity and family history. i do have intergenerational trauma and that is another reason i may use the block button quite liberally/be either slow to follow back or not follow back at all in some cases as i have seen a lot of interpretations of canon (as well as numerous aspects of canon itself) that i don't feel okay with at all. i expect that people do their research when writing cultures and situations they're not familiar with, and try to meet that expectation myself.

002. minors dni. i'm an adult, and i only want to write with adults.

003. i'm fine with shipping but i like to build rapport between characters first and figure out where they stand. rivalry, friendship, etc are also plots i value - my focus won't entirely be on shipping.

004. best way to start interacting if we're mutuals is just to shoot me a meme or a dm - i guarantee that if i follow you, i'd like to write.

005. if i don't follow back, it's likely because i'm unsure of your rules (aka certain things aren't touched on and i'm not sure where you stand), or if i can't see us interacting. nothing personal.

006. i usually don't write nsfw on tumblr! if i do, it will not be the main focus of the thread. don't mind if others write it, nor do i mind prompts that allude to it, but if i'm writing it i'd prefer it not be the whole story, if that makes sense, and i'd also prefer only to write it with people that i've known for a while.

007. themes present on this blog will sometimes be heavy - canon is heavy. content warnings for colonialism, violence, militarism, fascism, allusions to genocide, allusions to slavery, assimilation, indoctrination, intergenerational trauma, and post traumatic stress disorder. i will tag things whenever possible. if there is anything you need tagged in particular that i miss, or if i ever make a mistake, feel free to reach out and let me know so i can course correct.

[megamindsupremacy]

Anyways, some things I've noticed about introduction messages specifically, all of which are STRESSING ME OUT. I have also been the 15 year old in this situation so Dear Teenagers Following Me, tell me if this post is condescending or if I'm missing something that I haven't been exposed to due to Not Being In High School Anymore, I swear I am open ears/willing to be argued with.

-Stop saying your exact age in #introductions! At MOST, list yourself as 16+, 18+, 30+, etc if your server has the roles for it. I always just said "minor" and then dropped more information as I got to know the people of the server better. "High school, high school freshman, my birthday is soon," etc

-PLEASE dear GOD don't say your birthday in intros. Birth month, birth date, ANYTHING. Again, I would drop an "it's my birthday!" selectively in servers of people i trusted, and I don't think I ever started announcing it until I was 16? Definitely never right off the bat though.

-...don't list out all your phobias/triggers/mental illnesses. I understand the reasoning behind it. I do. But there are people on the internet who can take your "Autism/scocophobia/pls spoiler for teeth+gore etc" lists and use it to fuck with you badly. The rule of thumb is, can someone take the information you've provided it, and use it to violate the boundaries you've so helpfully listed out for them? Along with a description of how badly it will effect you when these boundaries are violated? If it can be used against you, don't just throw it out there in the first five minutes of joining a server.

-That being said, if you DO really want/have to list things like that, don't say anything more than you have to! Putting "Don't DM/Ping me" in your intro is MILES better than "ive had some shitty experiences with people stalking and harassing me online and if you DM me i'll have a panic attack " The second example is TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

-Only link to socials that don't have your face/private information! Holy god please don't put your personal instagram in your introduction I am so stressed

-I'm probably missing some stuff but honestly this all just boils down to a) be smart, b) don't say anything more than you have to, and c) anything you do say should never lead back to your irl identity.

And just some general stuff from my own experience as a teenager on the internet that's more "take it or leave it" advice

-I was always suuuuper wary of people DMing me if we weren't already close (CLOSE) friends in a public space. obv this is a case-by-case thing so use your best judgement

-I am looking y'all in the eyes and tenderly holding your hands. Don't start the Discord relationship. It won't work. No, it really won't. I'm so sorry dude. It won't work.

-The mods aren't always right. It's not always worth it to fight them about it, though.

-Everyone loves pet photos, when in doubt show your cat and spam about how cute he is. 100% success rate with this one

-All of this is advice I have for public servers. I had plenty of friend group servers where our intros included our full legal name and class schedule or whatever, but I trust yall to use your own judgement when creating discord servers with IRL friends.

ive joined a couple of new gravity falls servers that are something like 95% minors each and I'm coming to the frankly terrifying realization that these kiddos do not know internet safety like at all

[godbirdart]

Hi there! Short time appreciator of your stuff (I found you a few months ago + love your style sm!!) first time asker, and this might be an odd one, but do you have any suggestions for how to get involved with the furry community? Just, where to meet folk, maybe what to keep an eye out for (good or bad!) and such? I'd love to chat to folk and such but I'm just a very nervous person ^^;

You don't have to post or answer this if you don't want to! But thank you for all the cool art and the funny memes, I love seeing Sebastian with assorted snacks ^-^ you take care!!

aaA thank you!!

i'll be honest i personally skirt around the edge of the community because i too am a shy creature that emerges only every waning moon to hand people artwork

depending on the involvement level you want, you've got a number of options. a lot of people are still active on twitter, and mastodon and cohost seem to be picking up! i know mastodon has a few furry instances, such as meow.social, though I don't use mastodon that much so I cannot say if the community there is good, bad, or otherwise. same goes for cohost. last i checked it's very much so a twitter clone, but many furries i've noticed have skipped over there. pillowfort.social has a small Furry Artists community. if in doubt, there's also /r/furry on reddit.

if you just want to appreciate art and maybe comment every now and again, tumblr is pretty good. sure the tags can be a little broken sometimes, but at least you'll find the content you're looking for when you look up Furry in the search. same goes for deviantart and furaffinity, ofc depending on your interests you may have to dig around a little to get to the content / art style you specifically like. both tumblr and twitter i find are somewhat good at recommending similar artists if you follow some. sometimes there’s a recommended that pops up after you hit follow on the profile on twitter or a “blogs like these” section on tumblr, so there’s that.

telegram and discord are still popular as ever, though i feel finding a Good chat can be a herculean task. the r/furry reddit mentioned above has both telegram and discord [both sfw].

it’s super likely there’s a local / regional furry group for your area. some meet irl, even! most of these groups have telegram chats or discords if you want to meet people closer to home. of course there's also the Countless furry conventions going on too

it all depends on your social level as an individual. you can dip your toes in just by commenting on and following other furries, or opt to attend meetups and conventions and meet people in person

as for things to stay away from, the two biggest problems i want to mention are:

furry raiders. an alt-right furry group.

people with the zeta symbol “ζ“ in their bio /  name. now, the presence of a symbol isn’t always indicative of someone’s affiliation with something, so use discretion; but the zeta symbol is often used by people who are zoosadists / into be*stiality. these people are not furries, they don’t represent what the community is about, and everyone hates them. we can and will call the authorities on these people for animal abuse. if you see someone telling “zoos” to fuck off, there’s a 99.9999% chance these are the people that person is talking about.

these aren’t the only issues of course, but i feel they’re the most prominent ones. also maybe be wary of people who constantly say things like “no politics uwu” - especially if they turn it into some furry pun like “pawlitics”. maybe i personally have just had too many uncomfortable interactions with people like this and now i’m biased, but i’ve grown to never trust that.

apologies, i’m a bit of a hermit in online spaces and can’t offer anything more specific. if anyone has cooler recommendations they’re welcome to add them in the replies / reblogs!!

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! I saw a post mentioning that Russia might disconnect from the global web and we'll lose LJ. I was wondering if you know of any backups of the old Dungeons journals/community? It's been one of my comfort fics for a while and I'm sad about the possibility of losing it.

Man, I can't imagine what it must be like to be in Russia or Ukraine right now. Just the surreality of the clash between normal life and this terrifying totalitarianism descending. Incredibly scary and my heart goes out to the people of both countries. I feel like in the sudden scare of "we might lose LJ" it's important to remember that there are people who are losing a lot more, before I step into this discussion.

I've seen a lot of posts about methodologies for getting stuff off LJ. Not to be an asshole about it, but the best way to do this would be to have been doing it for the last five years. I know that's not helpful, I just want to remind folks that if you love something online, or if you use it as a resource, save it now. Do not wait for emergencies. If you own it, export it to a more stable platform; if you don't, archive it. If you start saving what you love now, while it's not in danger, you can do it in small chunks. It's a lot, I know, but it's a lot that is absolutely a lot MORE when you have a deadline.

(Related to this, would anyone be interested in me running a National Clean Your Home month style event but for digital? National Save Your Shit month, or "Nasa Yoshi", could be done, but it'd have to wait until at least April because I am on my last spoon just now.)

I just googled and it looks like we archived a LOT of the RP on Insanejournal, so there is a backup of Dungeons (which may or may not be complete, I honestly don't recall) here. (Dungeons, for reference, is a Harry Potter RP I was in ages ago. I think much of it might be archived at Dreamwidth too, you might check our usernames there as well).

One last caveat -- if you are archiving something that doesn't belong to you, lock that up. You don't know what the author's wishes are, and you don't want to get accused of plagiarism, so if you've got a fic or a site or a page that you want to save, save it privately.

Ok here we go.

1. Import from LJ to Dreamwidth. Apparently the queue for that is very long right now because it's a popular choice. It's what I did when I migrated to DW as my primary platform and it works very well, but also you have to be the owner of the LJ -- you have to give DW the username and password so it can access the LJ account. Not useful for you since you want to save off Dungeons content, which presumably you don't have passwords for. Also if you are going to be using Dreamwidth, throw them some money if you at all can, they were not prepared for this level of traffic.

ETA per @fraterrisus, thank you: “I love Dreamwidth, but before people go running there to save their LJs, keep in mind that not only is DW under really heavy load right now, they've been having a bunch of problems with LJ blocking their importer code, so there's no guarantee it will even work. Check out @dreamwidth on Twitter or read the staff's posts about this on DW for more info.”

2. There are probably programs, or will be soon, that can crawl through a livejournal and save everything off to your hard drive. These used to exist but because I moved off LJ so long ago I don't have any references for where they are, and they tend to be somewhat complicated to use if you're not familiar with programming languages, plus it's hard to know who to trust when half of Github is very earnestly trying to help and the other half is malware. If you'd like to try and find a program that will download an LJ that you don't own, I'd keep an eye on the Livejournal tag on tumblr. Readers, feel free to drop links into comments or reblogs; readers, also be very wary of what links you follow.

ETA thank you @hinerdsitscat for the reminder, this is possibly shady as fuck, but https://www.blogbooker.com/ is what we used to use years ago after strikethrough and similar. I can’t promise it is safe or effective but it used to work great.

3. Save off what you love manually. You can go to any LJ page, expand all the comments you want to save, right click and save-as. Your browser should save the entire page as an html file and a folder on your hard drive; the HTML stores the text, the folder stores the images. I don't believe it saves collapsed comments, so make sure any comments you want to save are expanded.

4. I'm sure there are other options I'm missing but I can't think of any so readers, feel free to drop other options in comments. In the meantime let's go to my option of choice: Evernote, or a similar program. Evernote is a cloud-based notebook, like OneNote if you use Microsoft suite, or like Googledocs if Googledocs allowed you to save web content without copy-paste.

Evernote has a webclipper widget that installs on your browser. Go to any page you want to save, click the elephant head webclipper button, and it will save a copy, like a googledoc, to your Evernote account. Only want to save part of the page? Highlight the part, click the elephant head, and choose "save selection". You can add tags and summaries when you clip, or you can do it later. Evernote can even be trained to intuitively tag stuff (like if you've saved off 30 fics tagged Steve/Tony, and you save a 31st, it will suggest "steve/tony" as a tag since you tagged similar documents that in the past).

Evernote has an app which is limited to two devices per username, but you don't have to use the app; you can just use the website to access the documents you have saved. The upside of the app is that it will save a backup of your cloud archive to your computer (the app is also mandatory for accessing evernote on your phone, but if you can avoid doing all this on your phone you absolutely should, what a nightmare). I did a tutorial about evernote years ago; I'm not sure it would be helpful at this point, since it's undergone a lot of changes since then, but it's relatively intuitive to use.

Evernote is not the most efficient way to save off an entire archive, but if there's stuff you especially love and worry about losing, it's probably one of the easier options. Get in, get that stuff, and concern yourself with the rest later. It can save art as well as text, and it's fully searchable. I have basically built myself a second, private AO3 of just the stories I enjoy using Evernote, and I also keep informative tumblr posts and fanart there.

Also, if stuff has gone missing, try entering the url into archive.org's wayback machine and accessing it that way. In addition, if you know the title, username, or a unique phrase from the fic or page, try googling it in quotes; a lot of people have migrated stuff all over.

Good luck, guys.

[astrophileous]

I see a lot of discussions about the second latest episode about Extraordinary Attorney Woo, mainly about that scene (yes, yes, that one) where Young Woo was having a meltdown after witnessing the accident. Not gonna lie, I inwardly cringed when I saw Jun Ho reached for Young Woo's hands and caged her in his arms. My first thought was, "That doesn't look comfortable at all???" But then Young Woo started telling him to hold her tighter, so that made me sigh in relief.

After that episode, I've been reading posts online from autistic people and their thoughts about the way Jun Ho tried calming her down. At first, I was still wary because I thought the scene might not have shown the proper way to handle such situation. But after reading those posts, I was reminded that autism is indeed a spectrum. In this instance, what Jun Ho did actually helped Young Woo overcame her sensory overload. There are no rights or wrongs, black and white, when it comes to interaction with autistic people, because autism is not a mathematical question that can be solved by a specific formula. In Young Woo's case, being held in Jun Ho's arms was exactly what she needed. That doesn't mean the same thing applies to others who also have autism.

I am not autistic myself, so I can't speak on behalf of those who are autistic, but I imagine that the above case is somewhat analogous to what I experience as someone with ADHD. Because of my ADHD, I require an extra stimulant to help me focus while doing my work. That's why, every time I'm doing homework or studying for a test, I usually have the Pride and Prejudice (2005) movie or any movie from the Twilight franchise playing in the background. This, I found, was the environment that made me the most productive. Yet the funny thing is, this strategy doesn't work at all with other movies. On the contrary, it usually makes me less focused on the task at hand.

I think it's important to remember, although (thankfully) being held by Jun Ho did help, that also doesn't mean it could've had it been someone else entirely. I've read several statements from autistic fans of the show who claim being held also helps them during meltdowns, but only if the other person is someone they trust, while some others say they prefer not to be touched at all during those situations. Just like how my other friend with ADHD, unlike me, can't perform well when a movie (or any kinds of distraction) is being played while they're working.

With that said, I wish that the show had explored more regarding this topic, or at least acknowledged that there is no definitive way to help an autistic person in the midst of a sensory overload or a meltdown. Still, I like how they implied that Jun Ho did his research surrounding autism prior to that incident. It's also one of the things I've seen people comment about, how Jun Ho (as someone who doesn't have autism and perhaps have limited experience in such situation) did attempt his best, with his knowledge, to help Young Woo in those moments. Some people even said that he was actually apologizing when he reached for Young Woo's hands, because he knew about her aversion to touch. In those moments, in midst of his own panic and the surrounding chaos, Jun Ho did his best to help Young Woo with what little information he actually had. Fortunately, it worked. And at the end, it was Young Woo who told him what to do, and what she needed from him right there and then.

This show might not be perfect, but I'm happy it's here. I'm happy for Young Woo and the countless autistic fans who are able to see pieces of themselves in her. I'm happy for Jun Ho who cares for Young Woo so gently that he continues to try and educate himself, even if it means sometimes stumbling along the way. I'm happy that this show can be a safe haven for those who need it. Lastly, I'm happy that that they show us an autistic character being human and living her life--going to work, making mistakes, hanging out with friends, and falling in love--instead of simply being a character reduced to their autism just like the portrayals in prior movies/series.

I'm happy for the show Extraordinary Attorney Woo, and I hope we get to see more similar pieces of media such as this in the future.