#I already have it as my nickname in the one server I talk in and it’s nice

[comet-frog]

Kinda tempted to also go by Lemmy ngl

[hausofwoo]

open wide | park seonghwa

pairing: park seonghwa x afab!reader

word count: 5.7K

summary: you start working at a restaurant and everything seems to be going well; you work hard, you made friends, and even when you mess up, your coworkers still have your back… except for the bartender, seonghwa.

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, restaurant!au, bartender! and dom!seonghwa, enemies to lovers trope, HATE FUCK, oral (f and m receiving), pussy slapping, dick slapping, choking, hair pulling, edging, fingering, creampie, alcohol consumption, sex under the influence of alcohol (but both consenting), unprotected piv (WRAP IT UP BE SAFE), cumplay, dacryphilia, seonghwa is an asshole and reader is strangely attracted to it, degrading, reader gives switch vibes, VERY descriptive smut scene [i have no shame], seonghwa is HUNG, use of pet names (princess, baby, good girl, little/dirty slut), woosan allegations LMAO, lmk if i missed anything! also feat. server/work bestie!ryujin, server!wooyoung and san, food runner!mingi, and restaurant manager!hongjoong.

author’s note: me n my friend were talking about seonghwa and the thought of him *ahem* slapping his dick on ur face .. and it sent us into a spiral. i had to make dreams come true. thank u to @hausofmingi and T for being my beta-readers and for giving amazing feedback and ideas :-) this one goes out to all the restaurant girlies!

seonghwa was pissing you the fuck off.

working at a restaurant is already hard enough, but to have an enemy that you work with? it’s unbearable.

you were new to the industry when you started at the restaurant, and of course you got treated like you were stupid for the first few months. you almost expected it, since you had friends who worked at restaurants and they warned you that people will walk all over you for being “green.” you learned as fast as you could, making mistakes here and there. but eventually you felt as if you proved everyone there wrong; that you are a good server and you are hard working, despite your mistakes. you built a rapport with your coworkers, and they granted you grace when you needed it. everyone, except for him.

the bartender. god that fucking bartender. your manager hongjoong introduced you on your first day, and ever since you’ve been butting heads.

“this is seonghwa, our bartender,” hongjoong says, pointing out the black-haired man setting up the bar. “he’s been here since we opened, but he’s been in the industry for even longer.”

“oh, wow,” you exclaim, watching him splay out the non-slip mats around the bar.

“yeah, wow,” hongjoong laughs. “this guy can pour exactly an ounce of liquor without even looking. and he’s fast. you’ll learn a lot from him.”

the corner of seonghwa’s mouth quirks up in almost a smug way. he’s good and he knows it. with his legendary status came his cockiness.

“well i gotta grab some paperwork for you to finish up,” hongjoong says as heads to the back. “i’ll be back out in a sec.”

you stand by the bar, basically twiddling your thumbs. “it’s nice to meet you, i’m–"

“look, princess,” seonghwa interrupts. “as much as i love introducing myself to yet another newbie, i have more important things to do right now.”

and that was just the beginning, and not just for your newfound nickname.

the best way to sum up how he continues to treat you is from this one specific experience. you rang up drinks for your table, and you meant to put a vodka soda instead of a tequila soda. you noticed it right away so you immediately cancelled that order and rung it up correctly. you promptly went to the bar to tell seonghwa.

“hey, ignore that first ticket for the tequila soda, i sent a new ticket,” you called out. but when seonghwa turned, he had the drink already in his hand, looking like he was about to set it on the drink pass.

“oh.”

he grabbed the new ticket with his other hand, glanced at it briefly, looked at you, and then slammed the ticket onto the ticket spindle. he turned around and dumped the drink in the sink and started making the new drink.

“hey i’m sorry, it was a mistake,” you defended.

“yeah yeah, it’s fine, princess,” he said with an eye roll. he placed the new drink on the pass. you inspect his face, wondering if it really was fine. he scoffs and pushes the drink forward more. “just take your drink and go, it’s way too fucking busy to be standing around talking.”

maybe it wasn’t a big deal. maybe he was just in the weeds and was taking it out on you. that’s the thing about restaurants, when you’re in the middle of service and everyone’s running around, you kinda end up saying shit you don’t mean. it was never anything personal. you knew that because at the end of service, you’d finish up closing with your coworkers and have a shift beer, laughing it off like it didn’t happen. because it didn’t matter in the end, it was just a restaurant.

but seonghwa never joined. even tonight, when you, the other servers, and even the manager were sat around the bar having your drinks, he just quietly broke down the bar.

“hey seonghwa,” hongjoong calls after him. “don’t worry about the bar, i’ll take care of the rest of it. you guys had a really hard night. have your shift beer and chill.”

“no no, i’ve got it. i’m just gonna finish up and get out of here.” you watch him as he lifts up the floor mats and starts mopping the sticky floor. you turn to your coworker, ryujin, who’s sipping at her PBR.

“i think seonghwa hates me,” you say, just low enough under your other coworkers chatting.

“what?” she laughs. “no no, i don’t think so. he’s just kind of an asshole.”

you glance over at him as he’s wiping down the back counters. you turn back to her.

“i don’t know, he’s just always been kinda short with me.” you look down at your drink and fiddle with the tab. “i feel like he doesn’t really like me. i don’t know what i did.”

“listen,” ryujin starts, placing a hand on your shoulder. “he’s short with everyone. shit, i’ve been here like 2 years and i still know nothing about him. don’t worry about it. he’s just here for a check like everyone else.”

you watch as seonghwa starts to walk back to the kitchen, lifting his sweatshirt off of his form, and a sliver of skin peeks at the small of his back just below his t-shirt. you can’t look away until he’s out of your line of sight, and ryujin starts giggling next to you.

“wait a minute, do you like him or something?” ryujin whispers.

“no no!” you say. “it’s just—i feel like it’s easy for me to talk to everyone here. with him, he just brushes me off. and he started that stupid nickname. ‘princess’. it feels condescending.”

“well i don’t know,” ryujin shrugs. “i don’t think he likes to mix business with pleasure anyway, in any form.”

you nod and look to see seonghwa back at the register, counting the cash and pulling out tips. he walks over and hands each server their share of drink tips, leaving you last. you look up at him, but he doesn’t even look at you. he just places the money on the bar, and quickly turns to go back to the kitchen.

“okay,” you sigh. “well i’m gonna get out of here, i gotta get some sleep. are we still on for sunday celebration?”

“um yeah dude. i’m gonna need it after we deal with the sunday service crowd.” ryujin grabs her bag and starts heading to the door with you.

“sunday celebration.” it’s kind of like a fucked-up weekly tradition your restaurant has. the weekend drives all of the staff mad and then after service sunday night, (since the restaurant is closed on mondays) pretty much everyone working grabs a shift drink and books it to the dive bar a couple streets over. is it healthy? absolutely not. but is it kinda weirdly cathartic? absolutely it is.

and you really really needed it after sundays service. you got stuck with a 15-top who had all sorts of allergies and dietary restrictions. like who the hell has a lettuce allergy? are they just making it up because they just don’t like lettuce? and why the hell are you trying to order a house salad when the main ingredient is literally lettuce? plus their drink orders were nuts. a tequila on the rocks? JUST tequila? and what’s worse is that the guy ordered like 4 of them. you just finished ringing in his 5th one.

you walk up to the bar to grab the drink (because damn seonghwa is fast) and look up to see him turning to you.

“hey, you gotta cut that guy off after that drink,” he says while shaking a cocktail in a shaker.

“yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” you laugh dryly.

“you shouldn’t have even rang this one,” he says, setting the shaker down. “you know there’s a 4 drink max, right? that’s like, a policy we have.”

“oh, i didn’t know that i guess.” you stab the ticket on the spindle.

“yeah i guess not,” he says with a sharpness in his voice, and starts pouring the drink in the cocktail glass. “just don’t do it again, princess.”

yeah, maybe you didn’t know that rule. but why does he have to talk to you like that? you start walking towards your 15-top, past the kitchen. you must’ve been really in your head about what seonghwa said because you completely missed someone yelling “corner.”

what happened felt like hours long, but it was probably only a few seconds. the food runner mingi was walking out of the kitchen with 3 plates of food. when you were passing by the kitchen entrance, it was too quick to move, and down fell all 3 plates. it was a mess.

“oh my god mingi, i’m so sorry!” you exclaim. you immediately grab a broom and attempt to sweep what you can.

“don’t apologize to me, apologize to seonghwa,” mingi says meekly, picking up the pieces of broken plate. “it was going to his 2-top at the bar.”

fuck. you don’t even want to look at him. you know he’s pissed. you finish cleaning the last bit of your mess while mingi goes back and asks for a refire on those dishes. as soon as you throw out the trash, you feel tears start to well up in your eyes. you can’t cry in the front of house, it’s unprofessional. but you can’t cry in the kitchen, unless you want the whole back of house to pester you with questions. the only solution was one place, every server’s safe haven: the walk in freezer.

you close the frosty door behind you, letting out a deep sigh that turns quickly into a billowing cloud. then, the waterworks. you couldn’t even help it, it all became too much. maybe it was out of frustration or stress, either way, you really needed this cry. tears stream down your face, turning cold on your cheeks from the freezing air.

it was mostly frustrating because the whole reason this happened was because of seonghwa. he snapped at you for not knowing some stupid rule, and it caused you to lose focus. it’s his fault.

just when you felt yourself calming down, the freezer door opens swiftly. it was him.

“you wanna tell me why my table’s food was refired?” seonghwa spits, anger in his eyes. “they’re gonna have to wait another 10 minutes and they’ve already been waiting for their food for 20.”

“seonghwa, please,” you huff, trying to hold it together. “can i just have one more second?”

“no! i could be totally out of a tip from a table because of you.”

“dude, it was a mistake!” you defend. you feel backed into a corner. literally, the walk-in was tiny and you were basically pressed up against the cold wall with seonghwa hovering over you.

“you keep making these stupid mistakes. i don’t know why they even hired you, you know fucking nothing about restaurants.”

you stood in shock. you didn’t know what to say. seonghwa had this fire behind his eyes that almost scared you. his chest was puffing up and down, breathing heavily from adrenaline. a bead of sweat falls down his temple, threatening to fall from his face. why did suddenly… he look so… attractive? you were so confused by how your body was reacting. instead of pure hatred, suddenly you felt a pang of lust. what the hell was happening to you?

“you owe me, princess,” seonghwa mumbles.

and in a blink of an eye, he withdraws from the walk-in and slams the door behind him, leaving you completely disoriented.

at the end of service, you were BEAT. you slump back into the bar seat, crack open your shift drink, and take a hefty gulp. ryujin jumps into the seat next to you, already drinking her usual PBR.

“dude, tonight SUCKED,” she groans.

“tell me about it,” you mutter, counting your cash tips. “at least they tipped well, but at what cost?”

“the cost of my fucking sanity, that’s what,” ryujin whines. “please tell me you’re still down for celebration. please please pleeeease?”

“oh i am so down,” you say. you look at your other coworkers. “san, woo? you coming?”

“you bet i am,” wooyoung chuckles, gathering up his stuff. “i’m heading there now. c’mon san.”

san stands and starts heading out the door with wooyoung but then turns back. “wait, seonghwa, are you finally gonna come to sunday celebration?”

seonghwa places down the wine glass he was polishing. “maybe. we’ll see.” he turns to hang up the glass on the rack and for a moment, just a moment, he makes eye contact with you. you look away immediately and decide to put your attention back on your beer. you chug what’s left of it and toss the can in the trash.

“ryujin, let’s go."

you and your fellow servers took the booth in the back of the bar, your usual spot. a couple of them were complaining about the tables they had, some were playing an intense game of darts, while you nursed your mixed drink as ryujin rants about her situationship.

wooyoung slips into the seat next to you, grabbing his beer on the table. “remind me to never play darts with san again. he’s way too competitive.”

you laugh, “you know, you say that, but you always end up playing with him every sunday.”

wooyoung chuckles as he shrugs. he then looks around the bar. “wait, didn’t seonghwa say he was coming?”

“he said he MIGHT come,” san says as he slides into the booth. you can feel yourself retreating as soon as his name was brought up. “but you know him. he never hangs out with anyone outside work.”

“he’s probably still scrubbing the bar,” the food runner mingi chimes in. “that dude is a clean freak.”

“nothing wrong with that at a restaurant!” san says.

“hey i’m gonna grab another drink,” you mumble, standing up. “i’ll be right back.”

you walk over and lean against the bar and wait patiently for the bartender to get to you. you look around, sort of people-watching the sunday crowd. it’s all industry people, you know it. you turn your head back to see the bartender facing you.

“what can i get you?”

“oh, i’ll just take a vodka cran,” you force a smile. he nods and turns to make your drink.

“a vodka cranberry?” you hear a chuckle next to you. “i thought your go-to would be different.”

you look over and see seonghwa leaning on the bar and looking over at you. he wasn’t wearing his work clothes like you’re used to seeing him in. he was wearing jeans and a black tank with a leather jacket. he looked different. he looked…. really good.

“oh, you made it,” you say, trying not to sound annoyed. you gather yourself a bit. “oh, don’t judge me for my drink choice, okay? as much as i love our free shift drinks, i don’t really drink beer outside of work.”

“ah, i see.” he nods, definitely uninterested, and looks at the bartender who had already set your drink down and was waiting for you to pay. you dig through your bag, struggling to find your wallet. seonghwa notices and sighs. “i’ll just get this one and i’ll get a jack and coke.”

“you didn’t have to do that,” you look up to him in confusion.

“it’s whatever, just take your drink,” he doesn’t even look at you as the bartender hands his drink over and grabs seonghwa’s card that he set on the bar.

“oh. well thank you.” you sip at your drink. “i’m going back to the booth.”

he grabs his jack and coke and takes a quick drink. “darts?”

“um, okay?” you stutter, watching him walk past you to the dart board in the corner, and then following him with a look on your face that could only be described as complete and utter confusion.

“san, woo, wanna play teams?” you call across to your coworkers. they perk up and immediately jump over to the dartboard.

“me and san versus you and seonghwa?” woo asks, rubbing his palms together with a chuckle. “let’s say loser buys drinks?”

“i’m not really good at this,” you say laughing. “but i’ll do my best.”

“oh, great,” seonghwa scoffs as he writes both of your initials in the chalkboard by the dartboard. “just show me what you got.” he grabs the darts and places them in your hand, touch lingering a little longer than needed.

“you know,” you say to seonghwa as you close out 18 on the chalkboard, then passing the darts to san. “i really wasn’t expecting you to come out tonight.”

“we’ve begging him for what seems like years, man,” san chimes in, attempting but eventually failing to hit bullseye. yet somehow team woosan is still beating you. he grabs the darts to hand to seonghwa.

“yeah, what changed?” wooyoung says as he leans against a chair.

“i wasn’t really expecting to come out either,” seonghwa admits. “i guess i wanted to see what sunday celebration was all about.” he closes out 17 and 19. why is he so good at everything?

“i mean it’s just all of us getting drunk to get over a shitty shift,” you watch as he tosses the darts to wooyoung for his turn. “so it’s really not much.”

“did you have a shitty shift?” he asks, turning to face you directly.

“w-well, yeah,” you mumble, uncomfortable by the attentiveness. woo quickly hands the darts to you and goes back to a conversation he’s having with san. you look down at the darts in your hands. “look, i know i made a mistake but i really didn’t know that rule about the drinks. and it got me in my head and then mingi came with your table’s food and—“

he rolls his eyes. “you just make a lot of rookie mistakes. you’ll learn.”

you completely abandon the game of darts at this point. “dude, you gotta stop talking to me like that.”

“like what?” he says with a smirk. does he think this is funny?

“like you think i’m stupid or something,” you say, slightly pushing his shoulder. “i’m not stupid. yeah, you’ve been in the industry way longer than me, but we all have to start somewhere.” you grab your bag and walk over to the booth, san and woo protesting behind you. you slouch next to ryujin with a sigh.

“what the hell just happened?” ryujin questions, looking back at seonghwa by the dartboard.

“seonghwa’s being a dick to me, once again.” you exhale deeply. “let’s get another drink.”

as the night went on, your coworkers start filing out one by one. san and wooyoung were one of the last to leave together (something going on there?) and you’re left in front of the bar, struggling to find an uber. your apartment is definitely walking distance, but not at this time of night. the real issue was getting a fucking ride. every uber was at least 20 minutes away. you looked back through the bar window and saw the bartender starting to close up. shit, it’s almost 1 am. you look back down to your phone and consider downloading lyft for maybe the 2nd time in your life.

“what are you still doing here?” you hear a voice behind you. you look back and it’s seonghwa, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

“i should be asking you the same thing,” you mutter. when will he leave you alone?

“can’t find an uber?” he questions, pointing down at your phone.

“yeah, its fine though,” you brush him off.

“you live close by right?” he asks, annoyance in his voice. “i’ll just drop you off.”

“no, really,” you huff. “i don’t need your help.”

“look princess,” he looks to you intently. “i’m not gonna let you wait outside a bar at this hour. i’m not that big of an asshole.”

you consider for a moment. he’s definitely right. it’s late, and staying outside a closed bar this late can lead to trouble.

“fine. but stop calling me princess.”

when he pulls up to your apartment building, you start to have an internal war with yourself. you can’t help but have this anger in the pit of your stomach that’s eating you up.

“you look deep in thought,” seonghwa says impatiently.

“yeah, uh,” you mumble. “i just.. i need to know, why do you hate me?”

seonghwa pulls the car in a spot and parks. “i don’t hate you, necessarily…” he starts.

“you just think you’re better than me?” you pry, irritated.

“i mean, i have been in the industry longer than you…” he smiles smugly.

“there you go again,” you throw your hands up, hatred scratching at your throat. “you are so belittling to me! you think you’re hot shit, huh?”

“do you think i am?” he smiles at the corner of his mouth, and lets out a dry chuckle.

“i think i can’t fucking stand you.”

he looks intently at your face, and you swear, he glances at your lips.

and that’s when he leans in and kisses you. it takes you by complete surprise, and you pull back. you look at each other with a newfound yet curious lust. for a beat, for just a moment, you both look at each other with the same understanding. you want to kiss him again. you grab his face and pull him back in. the kiss was all-consuming. you feel a wave of energy course through you, as if every neuron in you was lit up. it was almost dizzying. he holds the side of your face, grazing past your ear and the holding the nape of your neck. every touch felt like fire.

he slides his tongue through your lips and deepens the kiss, which makes you melt more into him. you feel his arm wrap around your waist and moves you closer. you felt a rush of heat run through you, but then seonghwa pulls back slightly.

“let’s go inside?” he asks, his voice low.

with no reply, you both get out and you take him up to your apartment and to your room, closing the door behind you. he stands close to you, pushing you up against the door and kissing you up your neck and jaw until his lips meet yours again. he slots his leg between yours and presses himself against your heat, grinding as he devours you.

you turn to push him against the wall and sank down to your knees.

“fuuuck,” he groans, smiling as he slips his shirt off. “i like this view.”

“shut up, asshole,” you snap as you unzip his jeans, pulling them down. you look up to see a bulge pressing through his black underwear. god, you can tell it’s fucking big. you graze your fingers over it, teasing him. he lets out a heavy sigh, and you feel him twitch under you.

“i need you to touch me now,” he says grabbing the back of your head.

“yeah? or what?” you tease, just barely holding the length of him.

“c’mon princess,” he says with a cocky smirk. that fucking nickname. he moves his underwear down to reveal his hard cock hanging heavy by your lips. your mouth opens as you stare up at his length. he’s really big. “oh baby, are you already cock-drunk before even touching it?”

you sat in shock at the sheer size of him. he grabs your chin and moves himself closer to your face.

“open,” he says, tapping his dick on your lips. you open up to take him in your mouth, with him groaning at the warm, wet feeling.

twirling your tongue around his length, you earn a pleased moan from seonghwa’s lips. you take as much of him as you can in your mouth, nearly gagging but pushing through. you can feel him twitching in the back of your throat, which makes you hum with satisfaction.

“yeah,” he hisses, pulling his length out a bit and slowly thrusting back into your mouth. “take my cock just like that, baby.”

he pushes into your throat and pulls out again, this time out completely. a string of saliva still connects between his dick and your lips. he grabs himself and slaps it on your face by your open mouth, your jaw going slack and your tongue out to taste him.

“ahh, such a good girl,” he smirks down at you, slapping his dick on your face again. he grabs a fistful of your hair and pushes your mouth back on his cock.

you grab the base and start sucking like your life depends on it, going from the base to the tip, where you swirl your tongue around him. you regain a little control back, stroking and twisting up his length and sucking at his tip, and you can taste the precum pooling into your mouth. you feel him thrusting into your throat, tugging at your hair and pushing you deeper onto him. you can’t help but let out a whimper at the feeling.

“fuuuck, you like that, you little slut?” he tugs you off his cock by your hair. “you like when i fuck your mouth? keep doing that for me.”

you lost all control in that moment. you can only do as you’re told. you open your mouth like a good girl, and suck. he pistons into you, hitting the back of your throat over and over. tears prick the corners of your eyes, but you don’t care. you only want to please him. you moan onto his cock, forcing yourself to not gag from his size. the vibrations in your throat only drive him more mad, and you can tell from his deep moans and the hardening of his cock. he’s definitely close.

the grip around your hair tightens while he continues to bob you up and down his cock. your eyes flutter shut and tears start to fall down your cheeks, and you hold his thighs, nails digging crescents into his skin. he continues to hiss and moan in praise, loving the way you’re sputtering around his cock and leaving spit running down your chin. you take all the power left in you to lap at the underside of his cock, causing him to groan loudly and pull you off of him.

“open wide for me, princess,” he says, stroking himself above you. you obey and lay your tongue flat for him, ready to take his load. he lets out a long moan, spurting all around and into your mouth. you lick up every drop remaining from his tip as he comes down from his high.

just as you regain your composure, he’s helping you take your shirt off and kissing your spit and cum covered mouth. he pushes you backwards until the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed. you fall back and let him slide your pants off, leaving you just in your bra and (fucking soaked) underwear. he falls to his knees as he goes down to kiss your inner thighs, inching closer and closer to your wet heat. when he goes to lick the wet spot in your underwear, licking a stripe up to your clit, you let out a small gasp.

“so sensitive,” he grins, lifting his head up and moving to take off your underwear. he grabs your thighs and pushes your legs back so your pussy is in full view for him.

“and so fucking wet for me…” he trails off before he dives down to devour you.

he laps at your wet hole, savoring the taste and the way it contracts around nothing. his tongue leads up to your clit, earning a sharp moan from you. liking the way you sound, he does the same pattern, making you whine with pleasure. he looks up to you, a moaning mess, and flicks at your bud teasingly, as if he’s mocking you. he hums in amusement.

“hold this,” he releases your leg for you to grab, keeping you spread open for him. he places his fingers on your clit, circling a bit before dipping down to your hole, just at the surface. you can’t help but clench. “so eager.”

he plunges his middle two fingers into you, your tightness gripping around him. he lowers his mouth back to your clit, swirling around as he begins finger fucking you. he’s eating you like he’s fucking starved. the stimulation had you gripping the sheets, whimpering.

he hums against your pussy, kissing and sucking at your clit. “mmm, fuck,” he smiles with a moan. “so good…”

you can’t help but grab the back of his head, gripping onto his hair while he works his fingers and mouth on you. he twirls his tongue around your clit all while curling his fingers in you, hitting that sweet spot.

“s-seonghwa,” you let out. “don’t stop, it feels so fucking good.”

out of defiance, he pulls off of you completely, your legs dropping down and making you ache from the loss of being filled. you can’t help but buck your hips up, desperate for him to touch you. he runs his hand back onto your pussy, spreading his fingers around your bud, avoiding touching it. and then, he slaps your wet cunt. you wince, partly from pain, but also from the stimulation. your bundle of nerves prickles and reddens the wet skin.

“mmm, dirty slut,” he laughs dryly, sadistically. “so desperate to cum. you want to cum for me?”

you nod, a little too impatiently.

“tell me.” he circles his fingers around your dripping hole again.

“fuck,” you let out, exasperated. “please, seonghwa. please let me cum.”

with a smirk, he drives his fingers back into you and latches onto your clit, working at a steady but meticulous pace. when your hips start grinding against his mouth, he holds you down, and continues working you. he swirls his tongue around your clit just right, and massages at your sweet spot. you feel your orgasm building in your stomach, like a cord about to snap. you feel heat rush through your entire body like a wave.

“i’m cumming,” you barely moan out, completely overtaken by pleasure. seonghwa relentlessly works you through it, moaning against you as you climax. he laps at your clit, trying to get every drop of your orgasm. he doesn’t stop until you have to grab his head and lift it.

he looks up at you with an intense lust in his eyes, and his mouth and chin soaked from your juices.

“you drive me fucking crazy,” you sigh as you watch him stand up and lean over you. he pushes you back to the head of the bed, on his knees and slotting between your thighs.

eating you out must have really turned him on, because his cock is hanging heavy between you, red and leaking with precum. he guides his dick up and down your sensitive cunt, gathering your wetness up to stimulate your clit. he groans looking down at the sight.

he eases his way into you, gripping your thighs to keep from snapping his hips into you. your mouth goes slack at the sensation, and you try to stifle back a moan. he inches his way into you, thrusting slowly until he bottoms out.

“fuck, princess,” he sighs, and he feels you clench around his length.

he leans forward to hover over you, slowly thrusting into your heat. he grabs the nape of your neck and kisses you deeply, letting you moan in his mouth. each thrust he pounds into you makes you melt into each other more, desperate to feel every inch of one another. the rolls of his hips hitting deep caverns of your cunt makes you dizzy from stimulation. the squelching sound of your wet pussy makes him pull away, now grabbing at your throat hard enough to where it hurts a little, but hurts so good.

“tell me you’re my little slut,” he spits at you, thrusting deeper inside of you.

“i-i’m your little slut,” you say between moans, completely lost in his trance. he has all the power over you.

he releases your neck and lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, making him reach a completely new angle inside of you. he pistons into you with determination, and reaches down to toy with your clit. you begin to see stars.

“you’re so fucking tight,” he hisses, relishing the squeezing of your core.

his hips snap into a faster pace, all while mercilessly thumbing at your clit. the stimulation becomes all too much for you, and you feel yourself reaching another high.

“oh my god don’t stop, please seonghwa don’t stop,” you moan, unintentionally clenching around his length.

“yeah baby, cum on my cock,” he smiles down at you. “just like that.”

you can’t even think, all you can grasp is how good this man feels on top of you, how good he feels in you, how full you feel. your breath hitches as a wave of pleasure courses through your body, sending you into a blissed out state. your moans are matched by seonghwa, him fucking your contracting cunt, as if it’s begging to milk him dry. he continues to thrust into your overstimulated core until he releases his hot ropes of cum into you, completely filling you up.

he finally slows down his movement, both your breathing heavy and irregular. he pulls out of you with a hiss, watching your pulsing core as his release slowly spills out of you.

“jesus christ,” he groans at the sight. as if he couldn’t resist, he brings his head down and licks up your core, swallowing the liquid. once every drop is savored, he lifts up to level with you. he then places a kiss on your lips, suddenly soft, and very unexpected.

without a word, he grabs you by the waist and holds you close, allowing you to rest your head on his chest. he softly brushes his fingers through your hair.

and just like that, you both drift off to sleep with only one thing on your mind. what just happened, and what the hell is going to happen next?

a/n: this is my first real fic on the internet yall!! im so new to this but i had so much fun. i hope u did too! stay tuned for part 2, but for now please leave feedback ♥ edit: part two is here :-)

[radioroxx]

THE. ISAFRIN KIDS I MENTIONED. shared little ocs of my mutuals server <3 love u collection muah muah im not tagging everyone in this tho

other doodles plus some rambling below vvv

- aurore(she/they) and philémon (he/him). they have their own nicknames etc because Who Are Isa and Sif Without Nicknames but. éile is much much more partial to use his than aurore. for her its, every now and then. for him its most of the time (like how bonnie goes by bonnie and not boniface)

- i dont remember how why we started making fankids but i do remember very early on in the conversation discussing the idea of wish kids. think that one fankid meme with the baby descending from the sky. thats a wish kid

- there are. a lot a lot of silly goofy ideas weve come up with for them (such as: isa being Not very good at hair and embarrassing himself trying to help out), but i think my brain would explode trying to remember it all lol. and type it out. feel free to ask ques abt them tho :)

- one thing we did talk about a bunch is! how siffrins background would play into it. having kids + starting a family with isabeau,, maybe feeling guilty over the culture they arent able to share. to make up for it! they! do what they can!!

theres no way to know for sure for sure if siffrins cloak is a island thing. or a family tradition. or just Something his parents did. regardless they would want to do the same for their own children! isa already makes tons and tons of outfits for em (you could imagine lol), so of course he has no issue helping out sif in this new project. (they got to help put with the design of their own cloaks though! for preference)

another thing siffrin wants to share with them is. easily. stars! the stars are something siffrin grew up knowing to be important (or well, he assumes so). so thats something they would want to share too :). maybe he cant remember their names, or constellations, or what any of it Means,, but they can still teach the science behind it! which is also very interesting!! the kinda stuff the kids would take to school the next day to impress other kids with lol

(i also just wanted an excuse to draw the family together,, can u blame me….)

- we also discussed. hypothetically if loop is still around by this point. their own feelings in this situation. its been years since the time loops were broken- years for loop to come to terms with, and mourn, etc. even still theres that feeling of bitterness that lingers, knowing they couldve had this. this couldve been them-

but also its. its hard to be angsty and upset around little kids. ehe

(we joked about loop becoming an awesome babysitter. the kids love them very much.)

ok thats all ur getting for now fjkd again feel free to ask questions weve been a little insane since yesterday

[iris-qt]

𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚊𝚌

"Suddenly seeing you in a different light than before..."

ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

✧ ʙɢ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ: ᴄʟɪᴄᴋ!

✧ ᴘᴛ. 2 ᴛᴏ ᴍɪʀʀᴏʀʙᴀʟʟ ᴍᴏᴏɴ | 1.8ᴋ

✧ ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴅᴀᴍᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ᴏꜰ ʜɪꜱ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍꜱ (ʏᴏᴜ). ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʜᴇ'ᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ʙᴇꜱᴛ: ᴛʀɪᴄᴋᴇʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇꜰᴛ, ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴠᴇʀ…

God, she’s so perfect

Mattheo Riddle seemed transfixed, practically hypnotized, by the sight of your quill brushing against your lips. The soft plumes of the feather ghosting over them as you listened intently to the Defense Against the Arts professor.

That was his favorite quill.

Although you’d never believe it if he told you. You’d never believe it was him who planted that quill in your messenger bag.

Probably because he was the one who stole your bag in the first place. Perhaps it was sick and twisted, but there was something about your flushed, angry face, brows furrowed and fists balled together, while you yelled at him in front of the entire Slytherin quidditch team that turned him on. You always knew that if something went wrong in your life, it was most definitely the doing of the “hellish toad” named Mattheo Riddle.

But he couldn’t help it.

He had noticed you’d lost your quill and had to write with a muggle contraption called a pencil. 

Barbaric.

So he took matters into his own hands.

Your bag was just lying there next to you on the stone bench while you talked animatedly with your friends. It was practically beckoning to him.

“You know they have a word for that,” you’d tell him months later, looking up with a smirk, sipping your butterbeer in the quaint restaurant Mattheo had taken you to. He had finally convinced you to go on a date with him, and he wanted to make sure it was perfect.

So he rented the whole restaurant out for the night.

Just him, you, a server, and a 5 star chef in the dimly lit building.

He leans forward, candlelight dancing in his ebony eyes.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you grin. 

“And what is it, my little dictionary?”

“Kleptomania,” you grin. “It’s where someone can’t resist the urge to steal stuff, even if they don’t need it.”

“Oh, well that’s not me.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Mattheo grins at you, face flickering in the romantic candlelight as he reaches out to place his rough hand on your own.

“Because I don’t steal invaluable things.”

“I’d call my bag an invaluable steal.”

“Sure, but I stole your heart. And that’s definitely something I value,” he grins, proud of himself as you roll your eyes laughing.

“You’re cheesier than this alfredo pasta, Riddle.”

“Am I as tasty as it is too?” he leans over, a cheeky smirk donning his face. One that would’ve boiled your blood just a few short weeks ago, but ever since that night at the Yule Ball, Mattheo Riddle had weaseled his way into your “cold little heart” as he teasingly called it. 

It wasn’t easy.

Mattheo Riddle had a lot of sucking up to do before you finally took mercy on him and agreed to this date. The truth is, he had already won your heart from that night of the Yule Ball. It was just far too enjoyable for you to witness his groveling.

At first he had kept it pretty subtle.

You had arrived back to your dorm after a rough quidditch practice, face streaked with dirt and sweat, when you noticed a lump under your duvet. You pull it aside to reveal the new book in your favorite romance series with a little note and a bag of your favorite wizarding candy.

Your eyes widen as you unfold a little note, a small smile dawning on your face.

You already knew who it was from, but the messy, chicken-scratch handwriting just proved your suspicions. 

Riddle.

I snuck out to Hogsmeade with the boys last night. Found these and thought of you. 

-- Matty

You snort as you read that he signed the note with the atrocious nickname you had used to belittle and demean him.

“Aw, poor Matty forgot his homework.”

“Try to keep up, Matty!”

As time went by, Mattheo progressively grew more desperate. You didn’t seem very ecstatic to agree on that date that he so desperately wanted. What could he possibly do to win your favor? What could he offer you that would make you break? He’d gotten you your favorite book, favorite candy, favorite cassettes that he drew little sharpie hearts all over. He had gotten you concert tickets to your favorite band. A little picnic for you and your friends, for he knew how much you cherished them.

What more could he give?

Or…wait…

What more could he take?

That set off a week’s worth of shenanigans that Mattheo was having way too much fun putting together.

Project 1: Steal your favorite book.

And steal it he does, right as you go to use the bathroom. He timed it perfectly: you always go during History of Magic, not like you’d be missing anything important.

He leans over expertly, and in expertly he thinks he twists a muscle in his shoulder blade, but, nonetheless, he manages to pluck the worn down copy of your favorite book from your messenger bag.

When Mattheo’s in private, he thumbs through the book, subconsciously imagining you doing the same with your soft hands. Your messy ink annotations are slightly smudged against the aging paper, and as he reads them to himself, he can’t help but imagine them in your beautiful voice…

You’d been attempting to convince him to read this book, thinking the main male character reminded you of Mattheo. You wanted to see if he agreed.

And agree he did as he spent that entire evening reading the book enveloped in the story. Perhaps it wasn’t even the story that kept him hooked. Perhaps it was how he imagined your reaction to certain scenes. The scrunch of a nose. The furrow of an eyebrow. Perhaps it was how he couldn’t wait to see your face as he added some annotations of his own next to yours. Reacting to your reactions. Perhaps you’d finally agree to go out with him, once his scratchy handwriting weasels itself into your favorite work of literature.

Or perhaps you’d just be annoyed at his theft and vandalism.

But that was the worst case scenario, for when you went to your dorm room that night, your book was there, propped up against the door. And when you saw that familiar handwriting, you felt your heart melt as quickly as a wax candle…

“I hope you know you ruined my aesthetic annotations,” you roll your eyes spooning some tiramisu, your snarky words coming out muffled by the dessert, causing the snark to diminish as Mattheo bites back a fond smile.

“Oh please, I added the much needed chaos.”

“Mm I don’t think chaos is ever a need, Riddle.”

“Well you always tell me I’m chaotic, right?”

“Right?”

“And you need me, right?”

You roll your eyes as you see where he’s going.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Don’t worry, princess,” Mattheo gently dips his finger in the mascarpone cream and smears it onto your rosy nose with a cocky grin. “Your blush is proof enough.”

It took more than the annotated book to win your favor, however. You made Mattheo work for it, and he was making the most of every second. The thing is, Riddle loved to do things for you. His love language is acts of service after all. Taking time out of his busy schedule of planned pranks and mischief was only worth it for one person. You.

Growing up in a rich household, Mattheo Riddle had taken on many pretentious, cultured hobbies. One was his immense talent in ballroom dancing as you had the privilege to witness firsthand after the Yule Ball. Another is his weird proficiency in embroidery. Needlework. 

He’s aware it isn’t exactly the most flattering hobby, but he had overheard you talking about wanting to learn it to embroider those uncomfortable-looking muggle trousers of yours…jeans? Yes, jeans. 

No one knew about Riddle’s affinity for needlework and he intended to keep it that way.

But what better way to show you he’s real about you than revealing this talent of his?

So, his winning plan came together by accident when your scarf was blowing along the snowy pathway to Hogsmeade. It nearly flew into his face, which it might as well have, because when he noticed it was yours, he brought it to his face to inhale your addictive scent.

Was he creepy for that?

Probably.

Did he care?

Nope.

What’re the odds your lost scarf blows right into his welcoming arms rather than the various other Hogwarts students milling about?

To a delusional Mattheo Riddle, it was a sign from the universe.

Perhaps he should’ve paid more attention in Divination.

He doesn’t bother to return it to you when he runs across you by a cozy bookstore. Instead, he throws a snowball at you, hitting you square in the face, laughing at your face red from the cold and rage. 

Hey, he’s still Mattheo Riddle.

But he’s a very down bad Mattheo Riddle as he wordlessly wraps his own scarf around your neck, walking off before you could utter a syllable.

After the trip, he busts out his embroidery set, kept buried in a box of old cassettes under his bed. Taking your soft scarf in his hands, he embroiders a moon onto the hem of your scarf, a testimony to the dance you both had shared under the moon at the Yule Ball. 

He leaves the scarf folded on your usual seat in the library, just as you walk in. 

Nothing can compare to the look of pure joy and flustered giddiness that overcomes your complexion at the sight of the embroidery. 

“Guess we owe it all to that gust of wind that blew my scarf over to you,” you grin as you walk out of the restaurant into the chilly night air. Mattheo’s adoring gaze and strong hand are enough to keep you warm as the snowflakes begin to cover you both up.

“Oh, please, y/n. You liked me way before the embroidery.”

“No, Riddle, it was the constant theft and vandalism that made me fall for you,” you tease as you both begin the walk back to Hogwarts on this cold Saturday night.

“Hey, it's my way of showing my affection. Just like yours is rude insults,” he shoots back, nudging your shoulder gently.

“I guess we both need some help, don’t we?” you bite back a laugh squeezing his mittened hand with your own.

“Yeah…but first..” and Mattheo leans in to steal his final thing from you…

Your breath.

NO not in the killing way…

He takes your breath away as he leans in for a soft kiss, numb lips thawing as they meet.

It seems you both always have your magical moments under the mirrorball moon.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @jennapancake @ellabellabunny123 @yearninglustfully, @littlebookbengal @helendeath @girllblogging777

[batsplat]

agassi/sampras please tell us more! the only thing I know about that rivalry is that sampras was very boring and they they disliked each other. but the way you talk about it sure makes it sound fascinating!

in a nutshell, the appeal is this

"pete. as always, pete"

imagine your whole career ends up being defined by one guy who you consider the "quintessential opposite" to you, who feels incomprehensible to you, who comes seemingly out of nowhere to beat you again and again and again and again. who is everything you could never force yourself to be. who seems entirely comfortable in a life that torments you. he denies you in what should have been your crowning moment. and then he ends his career by denying you again. inescapable and inevitable

agassi hated tennis with a passion. he hated tennis throughout his career - the sport he was never given a choice but to play, the sport he was forced to excel at. it's not an uncommon story in many respects, an ambitious father who sought greater things for his son... a cocktail of lofty expectations and the pressure applied to achieve them... the predetermined path in life agassi had been moulded to follow. and all of this forms the foundation for his fraught relationship with the sport (x)

as a seven year old, he already dreamt of quitting the sport, of just walking away and playing with his siblings, sitting with his mum - anything but tennis. except even then, it wasn't that simple. as much as he wanted to flee the sport, something about it also forced him to keep coming back for more. as he details in his autobiography:

Doesn't that sound nice? Wouldn't that feel like heaven, Andre? To just quit? To never play tennis again? But I can't. Not only would my father chase me around the house with my racket, but something in my gut, some deep unseen muscle, won't let me. I hate tennis, hate it with all my heart, and still I keep playing, keep hitting all morning, and all afternoon, because I have no choice. No matter how much I want to stop, I don't. I keep begging myself to stop, and I keep playing, and this gap, this contradiction between what I want to do and what I actually do, feels like the core of my life.

his father's favourite training method was to use a ball machine that andre nicknamed 'the dragon' - quite deliberately designed to look frightening, making andre flinch every time it shot balls at him. it spat out balls in unpredictable ways, all to make it impossible to hit it the same every time and forcing agassi to adjust anew for each ball. he was constantly instructed by his father - an iranian erstwhile boxer - to take the ball earlier and earlier, training his reflexes and adaptability through sheer brute force of repetition. what was being forged in the process was a game that was built to react to what the guy on the other side of the net was doing. in tennis, you can win both by attacking and by defending, by acting and reacting. agassi was moulded to do the latter

My father says that when he boxed, he always wanted to take a guy's best punch. He tells me one day on the tennis court: When you know that you just took the other guy's best punch, and you're still standing, and the other guy knows it, you will rip the heart right out of him. In tennis, he says, same rule. Attack the other man's strength. If the man is a server, take away the serve. If he's a power player, overpower him. If he has a big forehand, takes pride in his forehand, go after his forehand until he hates his forehand. My father has a special name for this contrarian strategy. He calls it putting a blister on the other guy's brain. With this strategy, this brutal philosophy, he stamps me for life. He turns me into a boxer with a tennis racket. More, since most tennis players pride themselves on their serve, my father turns me into a counterpuncher - a returner.

the biggest and most important weapon in tennis is the serve, and sampras had one of the best serves this sport has ever seen. like agassi a child of immigrants, his personal history is largely free of the angst of agassi's tale - though it should hardly be surprising that he had a strict father of his own to push him along his path. the type who was perfectly willing to make his disappointment felt whenever pete didn't live up to his exacting standards, even if pete was generally a pretty obedient kid, attentive of what his father demanded of him. take this anecdote about young pete speaking to a reporter after a big win at juniors level (from sampras' autobiography):

The next day, on the very same court, I lost something like 6-1, 6-0 to Mal Washington. I mean, he really schooled me. So after that match, the same reporter went over to Mal and got an interview from him. My dad pulled me aside and said, "You see that guy who talked to you yesterday? Now he's talking to Mal, because it's all about how good you are every day, not one day."

tennis parents. gotta love them

anyhow, sampras says he learned his lesson - and he also learnt to live by his father's straight-talking, honest ways. blunt and to the point. sampras was generally a considerably more straightforward character than agassi, "boring" as some might put it. he didn't hate the sport - he was good at it and he wanted to be better, always working tirelessly towards that goal like the perfect professional he was. to that end, he had to make some major adjustments to his game as a teenager, making the radical switch from a two handed to a one handed backhand and uprooting his whole style of play to make him the ultimate attacking player

But there were uphills and downhills, and my toughest challenge was changing my mindset from grinder to attacker. I had to learn to start thinking differently, and more. A grinder can lay back, waiting for a mistake, or tempt you to end points too quickly. An attacker has to think a little more: Flat serve or kicker? Charge the net, or set up a groundstroke winner? Is my opponent reading my serving pattern or shot selection? As a serve-and-volleyer, you attack; as a grinder you counterattack. The basic difference between attacking and defending is that the former requires a plan of attack and the latter calls for reaction and good defence. In both cases, execution is paramount.

'serve and volleying' as a playstyle has basically died out in the modern game (it still exists as an occasional tactic), but back then it was extremely common. the principle is straightforward enough: you hit a big serve and then you follow the ball, so that when your opponent returns it, you can hit the next ball out of the air (the volley). it's the purest attacking playstyle imaginable. it simplifies every service point, focuses everything in on the execution of just a few strokes. ideally, most rallies won't last longer than three shots - serve, return, first volley, rinse and repeat. short, fast, and sweet. when it is executed well, it is as lethal as it is efficient

agassi and sampras were part of a high profile quartet of american players to turn pro in the late eighties. the first of these to win a slam was sampras' childhood archrival michael chang, still the youngest man ever to win a slam at only seventeen years of age. the fourth member of this quartet was jim courier - who had trained in the same academy as agassi as a teenager and had generally felt neglected when compared to the star pupil. young agassi was a prodigious talent with unique style and flamboyance that served to grab the public's attention; he was the one who hogged the most headlines and carried the loftiest expectations on his shoulders, anointed the new flag=bearer of american tennis... and he was soon coming under increased pressure to finally crack on and win one of these slams. an immensely promising junior, the next big thing in american tennis, the guy who was supposed to rewrite the history books... by 1990, at just twenty years of age, the public was already threatening to lose patience with him

I go to the 1989 French Open and in the third round I face Courier, my schoolmate from the Bollettieri Academy. I'm the chalk, the heavy favorite, but Courier scores the upset, then rubs my nose in it. He pumps his fist, glares at me and Nick. Moreover, in the locker room, he makes sure everyone sees him facing up his running shoes and going for a jog. Message: Beating Andre just didn't provide enough cardio. Later, when Chang wins the tournament, and thanks Jesus Christ for making the ball go over the net, I feel sickened. How could Chang, of all people, have won a slam before me? Again, I skip Wimbledon. I hear another chorus of jeers from the media. Agassi doesn't win the slams he enters, and then he skips the slams that matter most. But it feels like a drop in the ocean. I'm becoming desensitized.

in 1990, agassi competed in two slam finals. the first was on the clay of roland garros, the fetching pink of his kit (see below) drawing plenty of headlines as he (very satisfyingly) beat both courier and chang on the way to the championship match. then, in the final, he lost in straight sets - in large part because he was terrified his precious hairpiece was going to fall off. which is definitely a story that deserves more space than it is being provided here... look, go read his autobiography, it's worth it

the next slam final was on home soil, conducted in the frenetic cauldron of the arthur ashe stadium. this was agassi's coming of age tournament at the slam he most wanted to win. he had scorned wimbledon, dismissive of the stuffy atmosphere and the grass courts and the strict dress code. he simply could not be bothered to travel to australia in order to compete at the australian open. roland garros was perfectly fine - but really, it was the us open in all its boisterous exuberance he wanted to conquer more than anything. and the us open crowd was ready to watch their new great hope win. agassi beat boris becker in four to advance to the final, eagerly awaiting his opponent - either the decorated john mcenroe, or a nineteen year old kid who had previously never gotten past the fourth round of a slam. sampras and agassi had already played when they were kids, with agassi in his autobiography remembering a match back when sampras was nine years old and agassi was ten. they had faced each other for the first time as professionals in 1989 on the italian clay... agassi had previously dismissed sampras while watching him practise, critical with his team of sampras' ruined backhand in particular. in rome, agassi beat sampras easily despite the improvements sampras had made

I beat him, 6-2, 6-1, and as I walk off the court I think to myself that he's got a long and painful slog ahead. I feel bad for the guy. He seems like a good soul. But I don't expect to see him again on the tour, ever.

the following year, in 1990, they play again and sampras wins in three - fittingly on the way to his maiden title. later that season, they meet for the first time in a slam final. now, look, the problem with narrating this rivalry is that the perfect narration already exists. it is agassi's autobiography 'open' and is available at all good bookstores etc etc. here is the most relevant excerpt:

It doesn’t seem possible, but the kid I thought I’d never see again has reconstituted his game. And he’s giving McEnroe the fight of his life. Then I realize he’s not giving McEnroe a fight—McEnroe is giving him a fight, and losing. My opponent tomorrow, incredibly, will be Pete. The camera moves close on Pete’s face, and I see that he has nothing left. Also, the commentators say his heavily taped feet are covered with blisters. Gil makes me drink Gil Water until I’m ready to throw up, and then I go to bed with a smile, thinking about all the fun I’m going to have, running Pete’s ass off. I’ll have him sprinting from side to side, left to right, from San Francisco to Bradenton, until those blisters bleed. I think of my father’s old maxim: Put a blister on his brain. Calm, fit, cocksure, I sleep like a pile of Gil’s dumbbells. In the morning I feel ready to play a ten-setter. I have no hairpiece issues—because I’m not wearing my hairpiece. I’m using a new, low-maintenance camouflaging system that involves a thicker headband and brightly colored highlights. There’s simply no way I can lose to Pete, that hapless kid I watched with sympathy last year, that poor klutz who couldn’t keep the ball in the court. Then a different Pete shows up. A Pete who doesn’t ever miss. We’re playing long points, demanding points, and he’s flawless. He’s reaching everything, hitting everything, bounding back and forth like a gazelle. He’s serving bombs, flying to the net, bringing his game right to me. He’s laying wood to my serve. I’m helpless. I’m angry. I’m telling myself: This is not happening. Yes, this is happening. No, this cannot be happening. Then, instead of thinking how I can win, I begin to think of how I can avoid losing. It’s the same mistake I made against Gómez, with the same result. When it’s all over I tell reporters that Pete gave me a good old-fashioned New York street mugging. An imperfect metaphor. Yes, I was robbed. Yes, something that belonged to me was taken away. But I can’t fill out a police report, and there is no hope of justice, and everyone will blame the victim.

what I can contribute are some high quality screenshots of agassi's mid-match beleaguered frustration at perfect pete who was currently in the process of mugging him

and here's agassi pulling sampras in at the net after losing in straight sets, 4-6 3-6 2-6

Hours later my eyes fly open. I'm in bed at the hotel. It was all a dream. For a splendid half second I believe I must have fallen asleep on that breezy hill where Philly and Nick were laughing about Pete's ruined dream. I dreamed that Pete, of all people, was beating me in the final of a slam. But no. It's real. It happened. I watch the room slowly grow lighter, and my mind and spirit grow palpably darker.

it is a brutal loss for agassi. not only has he once again been denied a slam - but it's happened at the hands of a direct peer, a compatriot, a nineteen year old american who has flown relatively under the radar until now but has snatched away from agassi the title that he felt should have rightfully been his. agassi had already become a frequent target for media storms, most memorably with the infamous 'image is everything' canon marketing campaign that had been widely used to mock him - but now, here was the proof anyone needed that this overhyped, cocky showman wasn't anywhere near as good as he'd been cracked up to be. it didn't help that sampras provided such an obvious contrast to agassi... quiet, more reserved, outwardly humble, less showy and less prone to drama and with a far more clean cut image... really had way more of a sweater boy aesthetic going for him y'know

tennis is a fundamentally conservative sport that is ill at ease with its own conservatism. the soul of the tennis fan secretly longs for a little glamour, a little excitement, something with a little more flair and thrill than the purist should strictly allow. when confronted with excessive emotion, when exposed to the true messiness of competitive fervour, the response of the fan is conflicted. on the one hand, the spectacle is exhilarating, to be celebrated, stimulating in the controversy it causes. but on the other, transgression is something to be repudiated and to be punished. the tennis fan averts their eyes but cannot look away, eager to capture every detail of how the gentleman's sport is being defiled by the newest freak show. the tennis fan begs for players to feel every emotion deeply - then jeers at them for losing their heads. the tennis fan hates sampras for being dull and lacklustre, for winning points as quickly as he can and refusing to provide much in the way of a show. the tennis fan hates agassi for being a loose cannon, for feeling so much and never quite living up to his potential as a result, for being so loud and vocal and obvious in his imperfections. sampras is a robot. agassi is a clown. sampras lacks personality. agassi lacks conviction. it is distasteful how hard agassi finds the life of a tennis player, but sampras finds it far too easy entirely. the fan loves to hate agassi, but sometimes they forget to think about sampras at all

the rivalry and their two respective careers develop from there. agassi has to go through a third slam final defeat, a horrendously painful five set affair against his old enemy jim courier at roland garros that leaves many doubting he will ever get over the line. but at last he secures his first major in 1992 at wimbledon of all places - the slam he had once upon a time had so little respect for he did not even bother to attend. sampras in all his precocity struggled for a while to adjust to a slam champion's life and took until 1993 to add to his own collection... beating agassi once again on the way to snatching agassi's wimbledon crown off him. there's a lot of stuff in those few years I'm going to skim over for the sake of brevity... like the final the two of them played where sampras was really ill right before the start and agassi agreed to a delay, only to be beaten by a revitalised sampras... that 1993 wimbledon match and sampras' nasty habit of catching agassi by surprise... or all their davis cup exploits (the main nation-based event in men's tennis, basically think like the world cup) where they both faltered and won as a team

let's pick up the narrative again in 1995. agassi had won his second slam at the back end of 1994, finally taking the us open title he so craved. and so, at the start of 1995, he made the enlightened choice of going - hey, you know how there's four slams on the tennis calendar? how about showing up to all four of them! yeah, not kidding, 1995 was the very first time agassi made the trip down to australia for the first slam of the year. which is a teensy bit unfortunate, because it turned out he was actually brilliant at that tournament. in 1995, he was the second seed at the tournament (sampras, of course, being the first) and scythed his way through the draw, making the final without dropping a set. sampras, by contrast, was progressing nowhere near as smoothly. his long time coach, tim gullikson, had been suffering from seizures for a few months and was flown home for tests after going through another seizure while practising with sampras. in his next match, sampras faced courier, fighting back from two sets to love down to level the match. then, in the fifth set, he broke down in tears during the changeover and struggled to contain his sobs while playing the next few games. courier asked whether sampras wanted to come back to finish the match the next day... something sampras interpreted as a sarcastic comment, which pissed him off enough to get him to regroup and focus once again. he went on to win the match. this is another part of the story that will not get the attention it deserves in this post, and there's a lot more to be said about how sampras describes the incident in his autobiography - his frustration with the narrative that he had finally shown how he was 'human' after all. it is this incident that is still what the tournament is perhaps remembered the most for. gullikson passed away the following year

and so sampras faced agassi in their second meeting in a slam final, fourth meeting in slams overall. agassi had gone through a major style rebrand since the last time they'd played, at last forgoing the hair he was so closely associated with (aka ditching the finicky hairpiece that had been distracting him in slam finals) and embracing the bald pirate aesthetic

perhaps a little more importantly, agassi won the match in four sets, claiming his first australian open title at the very first time of asking. I was going to check if I had any particularly insightful notes about the match - but mostly it's stuff like pointing out that the first set ends on an agassi double fault and the second one opens on a sampras double fault (#mygoats), plus enlightened commentary like this

we'll leave the sophisticated match analysis for another day

and here they are in their respective autobiographies about the conclusion of that tournament

"a tournament that I seemed destined to win" // "tennis has nothing to do with destiny"

and from there, it was game on. 1995 was basically the year of their rivalry. after the australian open final, they immediately faced off in both indian wells and miami. as sampras describes it, the increased exposure meant the general sports fans had more and more opinions about the pair of them and their rivalry: "we presented enough of a contrast to make people feel passionate about why they preferred one of us to the other". that season also featured an increased marketing push from nike to make this rivalry A Thing while the pair of them spent the year hashing out the number one ranking. we're talking joint marketing campaigns, interviews, all that shebang... once again, I won't be able to do this time period justice here - but at least in passing you do have to mention nike's famous "guerrilla tennis" ad campaign (see here), where they would play on makeshift courts set up in city streets. as sampras put it:

The campaign was brilliant, and it was an enormous success. And it worked because, instead of "Pete or Andre?" or "Pete vs. Andre" driving Nike's promotions, it became Pete and Andre. There was a welcome, counterintuitive feel-good message conveyed in them. The commercials helped further interest in the game and our rivalry. It also caught the true nature of our relationship. We had plenty of differences, but we were friends.

an important thing to remember, right - sampras was generally keen for the agassi rivalry to flourish because it helped him too. it helped combat the perception that he was boring, that he had a dull game too reliant on his serve (especially on the speedy grass of wimbledon, where he increasingly excelled at), that he had too little of a personality to capture the imagination of the masses. it also helped his relationship with nike, who he often didn't see eye-to-eye with - the agassi rivalry brought those guys on side because of how marketable they were as a unit. in his autobiography, sampras points out that players are only ever seen as good as the quality of their opposition, and agassi always had the potential to be sampras' ideal career rivalry. agassi becoming a more consistent, prominent rival was good news for the both of them... but, well, often it was sampras who got the most out of the whole thing

given we're in 1995, at this point I do need to throw in a top three anecdote from agassi's autobiography that just like... nails who both of them are As Guys and what the dynamic between them looked like

if my archrival said in his autobiography that I sounded more robotic than his parrot, I would do something that would get me on national news (more on that later)

so then... it looks like they'll meet in another slam final that year, at wimbledon. as agassi so nicely puts it,

In the semis I face Becker. I've beaten him the last eight times we've played. Pete has already moved on to the final and he's awaiting the winner of Agassi-Becker, which is to say he's awaiting me, because every slam final is beginning to feel like a standing date between me and Pete.

cute

of course agassi goes on to lose that match, after which becker makes some disparaging comments about agassi - prompting some fun drama that does also deserve more space than it will be provided here. the long and the short of it is that agassi vows vengeance and sets of on his "summer of revenge", going on a massive tear on the american hard courts. he defeats sampras in the final of canada, is unbeaten all summer going into the us open... at the us open, his hot streak continues - and he gets the great satisfaction of beating becker in the semis. revenge completed. 26 wins in a row

but of course, there's one more match to go. and it's the one that matters most of them all. it's also the one that agassi loses. "no matter how much you win, if you're not the last one to win, you're a loser. and in the end I always lose, because there is always pete. as always, pete." it's the brutality of tennis, the relentless inescapable cycle that so tormented agassi... there's always another tournament immediately on the horizon - and most weeks, defeat is waiting for you at the end of it. a lot of weeks, it was sampras who was waiting for agassi. after the glorious high of that entire summer, agassi had been brought back down to earth. he would struggle for years to recover

I've always had trouble shaking off hard losses, but this loss to Pete is different. This is the ultimate loss, the ueber-loss, the alpha-omega loss that eclipses all others. Previous losses to Pete, the loss to Courier, the loss to Gómez - they were flesh wounds compared to this, which feels like a spear through the heart. Every day this loss feels new. Every day I tell myself to stop thinking about it, and every day I can't. The only respite is fantasizing about retirement.

this began agassi's unravelling, the downward spiral that would consume the next two years of his life. eventually, he dropped out of the top hundred entirely. it was in 1997 that he infamously failed a drug test and managed to escape punishment plus cover the whole thing up (he had indeed taken crystal meth). he barely played tennis at all during that year. it would take him until 1998 to regroup and recommit to tennis, to decide that he wanted this enough to fight for it anew

in the mean time, let's bring in two encounters between sampras and agassi in fittingly liminal locations - one in a plane and the other in an airport. these brief moments of letting their guards down - of talking to each other as people - that are described in their respective autobiographies... both reckoning with the vast differences between the pair of them. first, there's late 1995, where agassi was already evidently struggling with the mental impact of the us open loss - as well as with the injuries that ruled him out of playing the davis cup. in a gesture sampras appreciated, agassi turned up anyway to support his team. here is sampras's account of a flight on agassi's private jet to los angeles:

I sensed on that flight that Andre was struggling. He quizzed me very closely on how I lived my life, and seemed dumbfounded to learn that I had moved to Tampa solely for my tennis game. I told him that I missed my family, and Southern California, but considered it a necessary trade-off. He admitted that he wouldn’t give up living in Vegas, or his lifestyle, in order to be the best player in the world. The contrast was clear and striking, although Andre made that point at a time when he was feeling a little disillusioned by the game. Through all of that, though, I always believed something that others, particularly people who didn’t know Andre very well, doubted. I always thought that Andre was a sincere guy. When we spent time together out of the limelight, he was always honest and frank—and I respected him for that. Davis Cup was always a good time when Andre was around. He was, at times, downright exuberant. He frequently let his guard down in Cup practices, screaming and yelling about any little thing, just for the fun of it. He seemed to get a kick out of stirring things up, creating drama, taking little things and making a big deal out of them. He was emotional, and he liked to whip up others’ emotions. At other times, we sat around in the locker room and talked about this or that, mostly about sports, and it was very comfortable. Andre was inquisitive. He liked to compare notes on players and he was eager to see how others perceived the same things he was thinking about. Andre had a great grasp of strategy; it was a great asset, given the type of game he played.

and then, two whole years later in 1997 - here's agassi about a meeting they had in the airport:

Walking up to the gate, who should I see but Pete. As always, Pete. He looks as if he's done nothing for the last month but practise, and when he wasn't practising, he was lying on a cot in a bare cell, thinking about beating me. He's rested, focused, wholly undistracted. I've always thought the differences between Pete and me were overblown by sportswriters. It seemed too convenient, too important for fans, and Nike, and the game, that Pete and I be polar opposites, the Yankees and Red Sox of tennis. The game's best server versus its best returner. The diffident Californian versus the brash Las Vegan. It all seemed like horseshit. Or, to use Pete's favorite word, nonsense. But at this moment, making small talk at the gate, the gap between us appears genuinely, frighteningly wide, like the gap between good and bad. I've often told Brad that tennis plays too big a part in Pete's life, and not a big enough part in mine, but Pete seems to have the proportions about right. Tennis is his job, and he does it with brio and dedication, while all my talk of maintaining a life outside tennis seems like just that - talk. Just a pretty way of rationalizing all my distractions. For the first time since I've known him - including the times he's beaten my brains out - I envy Pete's dullness. I wish I could emulate his spectacular lack of inspiration, and his peculiar lack of need for inspiration.

even these short excerpts should hopefully give you a sense of how differently they approached the process of writing their autobiographies, as always in itself very revealing. agassi is honest to a fault, forthcoming in his confessions even when he's not necessarily doing himself any favours - unsurprisingly, the crystal meth story caused quite a stir at a time, given he had successfully evaded a ban and had managed to cover the whole thing up. he does not spare sampras in his account, willing to compare him to a parrot or marvel at his lack of need for inspiration. it is a sincerity that does not necessarily feel malicious, but certainly is brutal. agassi's narrative is harsh, self-effacing, darkly comedic - he stresses how he really didn't take sampras seriously until sampras was beating his ass, talks up how sampras' commitment to tennis was clearly the far better approach than his own... and yet there is inevitably something pretty insulting in how baffled agassi is by sampras' simplicity, by the pure, unencumbered drive and discipline that made sampras such an excellent competitor. by how boring sampras could be

by contrast, sampras was far more reserved in his autobiography, providing a straightforward account of his career that really did mostly just focus on the tennis of it all - hardly a bad book, but one that lacks agassi's flair and skill for narrativisation. there is a rebellion of sorts in sampras' restraint... he's painfully aware of how he was perceived, rankles at it repeatedly in his autobiography, and you hardly need to read between the lines too much to get a sense of how much it really bothered him... but if there's one thing to understand about the guy, it's sampras' incredible stubbornness. if the people wanted a show, he was even less likely to provide him one. if they wanted drama and gossip from his autobiography, he would provide them with no such thing. and it's fair to say that sampras did not exactly appreciate agassi's approach

we'll circle back to sampras' reaction to the autobiography in a minute, but I wanted to bring in these quotes now... because sampras does capture something quite key to their rivalry in a way that is a touch more honest than he was willing to be in his autobiography. agassi hated tennis and always wavered in his commitment towards it, trying to fill his life with all sorts of other pleasures, travelling around with his entourage to make the tour life somehow bearable to him. it never came easily to him - and at several junctures, most notably after his long slide down the rankings set off by the 1995 us open sampras loss existential crisis, he had to make the conscious decision to try and give his all to the sport. sampras was always willing to make those sacrifices, whenever they were demanded of him. he was willing to move wherever he needed to, willing to eat and breathe and sleep tennis if that is what he needed to do to win. professional sports doesn't always reward the biggest personalities - in fact, as said sports become ever more demanding and the level rises further and further, if anything athletes cannot afford much of a life outside of their chosen domain. no time to grow up properly, to experience much of what the world has to offer, to figure out who they are outside of the sport... hey, no time even to start up too much drama where it isn't necessary - because are there many things more inefficient than media shit storms? in some ways, sampras represented the future of the sport. agassi, in all his impetuous talent, could in a sense be considered a relic of the past

that is not to say, of course, that agassi was not massively successful in his own right. and somehow he did what felt ever so implausible - he successfully completed his comeback, making it all the way back to the top of the sport when he had been so summarily written off. in 1998, he made an unprecedented jump from 110 to 6 in the rankings - and in 1999, he came from two sets to love down to win the roland garros title, completing his career slam by winning all four majors. this is one achievement that sampras could not match, having never progressed past the semifinals of the slow clay of roland garros that has tripped up many an american. (oddly enough, that's actually the slam all three of sampras' american peers had won, but courier was a natural surface specialist and chang was a grinder so it just kinda happened that way.) agassi reached the wimbledon final only to lose to sampras once again, then won the us open. and eventually he managed to snap sampras' record streak of six consecutive year end number ones (a rare record that has actually remained intact), capping off his most successful season to date

let's skip ahead once again, and talk a little more about what was possibly the most revered match the pair of them ever played. once again, it was the us open to host their showdown,taking place in the quarterfinals at what was now very much in the twilight stages of their careers. this time let's get some of sampras' thinking about that particular match and how it fit within the narrative of their rivalry:

It was fitting that Andre was the last man standing when it came to my rivalries. Andre was toughest during that great summer of 1995, and then again near the very end of our careers, culminating with the night-session quarterfinal at the 2001 Open—a match that was the crowning moment of our rivalry and, to me, our toughest and greatest battle. Volumes have been written about my rivalry with Andre, and from every perspective. In my heart of hearts, I know he was the guy who brought out the best in me. He had ups and downs, which accounts for why we didn’t have more confrontations, especially in big finals. But Andre was still the gold standard among my rivals. Nobody else popped up as frequently, over as long a period of time, to test and push me to the max. For most of our careers, we really couldn’t have been more different—in personality, game, even the clothing we wore. Our lifestyles were radically different. Andre always seemed bent on asserting his individuality and independence, while I tried to submerge my individuality and accepted the loss of some personal freedoms. Andre was Joe Frazier to my Muhammad Ali, although the personalities were kind of flipped around because Andre was the showman and I was the craftsman. Wherever you lived, we were your neighbors: I was the nice, quiet kid next door on one side, and Andre was the rebellious teenager on the other. Yet as Jekyll and Hyde as we were, and as much as people liked to emphasize the very real differences between us, there were powerful, deep similarities between us, too. The Gift we both had shaped our actions and lives, posing challenges as well as offering opportunities. First-generation Americans (Andre’s father, Mike, was from Iran), we were both champions but outsiders who crashed a sport dominated for most of its history by white Anglo-Saxon Protestants. That never bothered me, because the American Dream fulfilled its promise to my family, a few times over. Because we had both been prodigies, we grew up in the public eye, under scrutiny. It was easy to stereotype us—Andre was the brash, flamboyant showman, I was the reticent, old-school, boring guy. Who was hurt more by the stereotyping? Who knows? What I am sure about, though, is that we were tough, albeit in different ways and with different goals. When we reached the top, we cast frequent, nervous glances across the divide between us. Andre and I always made it our business as individuals to know what the other guy was doing.

as I am aware this post is already far too long, I won't dissect this passage too much. in any case, sampras addresses the sense of absence caused by agassi's inconsistencies elsewhere in his autobiography too... agassi made sampras better, always, agassi pushed sampras to new heights, agassi provided sampras with a legitimacy and also excitement the public would not have otherwise afforded him. but agassi wasn't always there. and the rivalry was ultimately far less kind to him

"in my heart of hearts, I know he was the guy who brought out the best in me" // "he says I bring out the best in him, but I think he's brought out the worst in me"

that entire section is one of the stronger parts of sampras' autobiography, which I'm also resisting the temptation to include in full. I will, however, include just a little more of how sampras describes how the pair of them match up:

Andre had to think a little more about the nuances of the game than I did. Against top guys, he needed to set things up for himself in order to play his most effective game. At his best, Andre was the consummate puppet master, jerking his opponents all over the court. Thankfully for me, he was also a little bit at the mercy of what his opponents could do. My game, by contrast, was much more about what I was going to do, and whether or not the other guy could stop it. The big question for me on every surface but clay was, Okay, what do I do to break the guy? That was because I always felt confident that I could hold my serve. Andre didn’t have that luxury—at least not to the same extent that I did. [...] The overarching theme, in my eyes, was that if I could make it a test of athleticism and movement, things would break my way. I had the fast-twitch-muscle advantage. By contrast, Andre had amazing eye-hand coordination; he was unrivaled as a ball striker. The idea was always the same: avoid becoming the puppet on the end of Andre’s string. Avoid getting into those rallies in which I found myself trying to get the ball to Andre’s backhand, while he’s cracking forehands and jerking me around the court.

sampras does go into more detail about how the actual tactics between them played out, but in a brave act of restraint I shall not discuss any of that. it does, however, tap into one of the central tensions of tennis - namely the curse of the counterpuncher. sampras acted, agassi reacted. in a way, it always felt like the match was on sampras' racquet, win or lose. sampras had the weapons. agassi had the wits. sampras could blast his way past agassi, if he could just summon up all his discipline to execute to perfection. agassi had to try to cling onto his nerves while going all he could to trip sampras up. the curse of the counterpuncher - the helplessness of being beholden to another player's whims... especially brutal when facing someone with sampras' painfully excellent weapons. and sampras had one more great weapon at his disposal: his mentality, that unflappable presence that graced him one of the most ridiculously good tiebreak records you'll ever find. from the moment sampras snatched that us open title away from him way back in 1990, agassi was always going to have to look over his shoulder, eternally wary of the threat posed by sampras. because perfect pete at his very best might have just been a little too much for andre the prodigy to handle

the 2001 us open quarterfinal has gone down as one of the very finest matches in that tournament's history. agassi had come into the tournament the number two seed - sampras, suffering from a slump in form, had been seeded only tenth. it played out over four sets, all of them tiebreaks, with not a single break of serve. the home crowd was riveted for the entire contest and enthusiastically celebrating both of their heroes for the spectacle they provided. you already know who won

so then, both of them slowly but surely reaching the end of their careers, their slam counts tailing off as injuries and frailty scupper them... sampras' decline was earlier and sharper, finding himself struggling after securing his fourth consecutive wimbledon title in 2000. agassi was generally ranked higher during that time and had won the australian open title in both 2000 and 2001. after wimbledon, sampras went for two full years without winning a slam, and retirement looked increasingly imminent. but in the end, they managed to put on one last show - and where else but in the same place where they had contested their first slam final in 1990.

At 4 P.M. on a calm and bright Sunday afternoon in early September, I looked across the net and saw the same person who had been there twelve years earlier, almost to the day, when I played my first Grand Slam final: Andre Agassi. The Andre I saw in 2002 was someone very different from the kid I had seen in 1990, and it went well beyond the fact that the multicolored mullet had become a shiny bald head, and that lime green costume was now a fairly plain, conservative shorts-and-shirt tennis kit. I saw a seasoned, confident, multiple Grand Slam champion who was in full command of his game—a game that could hurt me. This was no stranger. This was my career rival. This was the yin to my yang. Over time and through rivalry, though, our identities blurred a little and parts of our personalities had jumped from one to the other, like sparks sometimes do across two wires. We had a lot of shared history now. The sharp edges had been worn down and the contrasts muted. We were elder statesmen, celebrated champions, co-guests of honor at the Big Moment one more time. In many ways we were just a couple of nearly worn-out tennis players looking for one last shot at glory.

as always, pete

agassi was the favourite in that match. but that's the funny thing about tennis - all this stuff in between, all these matches, talk of form and confidence and all of it, you'll find it has a nasty tendency to not matter at all. because you already know how this story goes. tennis, in particular on the men's side, writes its narratives in advance and then begs us to act surprised when everything unfolds as expected. every once in a blue moon, you will have something different - an australian open 1995, where everything had been disturbed just enough to throw up a different outcome. but otherwise, there is no amount of form or confidence in the world that can change the inevitable. it doesn't matter that agassi was supposed to be the prodigy who would claim his glorious first slam in 1990. it doesn't matter that agassi had been on a 26 match winning streak in 1995 and had bested sampras just a few weeks before. it doesn't matter that agassi was facing a washed up version of sampras in 2002 who had lost touch with his 'gift' and had been staring down the barrel of retirement for the better part of two years. when they faced each other on that stage, at the most important tournament of them all to agassi, they both reverted to type. agassi got a slow start, felt the match slip away from him, as sampras blasted through him - and only two sets in managed to mount any sort of resistance. of course, it was not enough

it turned out to be sampras' last professional match. he announced his retirement a year later. the last time sampras ever played, and it was denying agassi on one final occasion

one more thing before I wrap up this post - a coda of sorts, because the story just wouldn't be complete without it. because there's one more rather infamous story from agassi's autobiography. here's agassi talking about the lead up to that us open 2002 final, lying in bed the night before that match and remembering a moment from a few years prior:

Sipping Gil’s magic water before bed, I tell myself that this time will be different. Pete hasn’t won a slam in more than two years. He’s nearing the end. I’m just starting over. I climb under the covers and remember a time in Palm Springs, several years ago. Brad and I were eating at an Italian restaurant, Mama Gina’s, and we saw Pete eating with friends on the other side of the dining room. He stopped by and said hello on his way out. Good luck tomorrow. You too. Then we watched him through the restaurant window, waiting for his car. We said nothing, each of us thinking of the difference he’d made in our lives. As Pete drove away I asked Brad how much he thought Pete tipped the valet. Brad hooted. Five bucks, tops. No way, I said. The guy’s got millions. He’s earned forty mil in prize money alone. He’s got to be good for at least a ten spot. Bet? Bet. We ate fast and rushed outside. Listen, I told the valet, give us the absolute truth: How much did Mr. Sampras tip you? The kid looked at his feet. He didn’t want to tell. He was weighing, wondering if he was on a hidden-camera show. We told the kid we had a bet riding on this, so we absolutely were insisting he tell us. Finally he whispered: You really want to know? Shoot. He gave me a dollar. Brad put a hand on his heart. But that’s not all, the kid said. He gave me a dollar—and he told me to be sure to give it to whichever kid actually brought his car around. We could not be more different, Pete and I, and as I fall asleep the night before perhaps our final final, I vow that the world will see our differences tomorrow.

and just to quickly add this, about the end of that final:

Now he's serving for the match, and when Pete serves for a match, he's a coldblooded killer. Everything happens very fast. Ace. Blur. Backhand volley, no way to reach it. Applause. Handshake at the net. Pete gives me a friendly smile, a pat on the back, but the expression on his face is unmistakable. I've seen it before. Here's a buck, kid. Bring my car around.

this is probably the most infamous part of the autobiography, excluding anything related to crystal meth. I buried the lede somewhat when I was talking about sampras' reaction to the autobiography - more than comparing him to a parrot or calling him uninspired, this was the bit that really got traction. it's just such a brutal story in an understated way... this is the kind of impression that sticks with you, the slander that stands the test of time. perfect pete the multi millionaire is a bad tipper

which brings us at last to indian wells 2010. an exhibition event the pair of them participated in at one of the most prestigious tournaments in the united states (second only to the us open), done for a good cause to raise money for charity. it was a doubles match they participated in, both partnering up with top players who were reasonably prominent at the time - all in order to put on a show for the crowd. for a good cause. over seven years after the conclusion of their rivalry, more than enough time for any old wounds to heal. what followed is quite possibly the only worthwhile moment indian wells has ever provided us... I hereby present to you a clip of two guys who are definitely over it, engaging in some entirely friendly banter, for a good cause, as a playful continuation of their respectful rivalry, which is fine because they're over it, so it's all fine and it's for a good cause. here you go:

now, honestly I would just recommend you watch this four minute video, because I think it's quite tricky to quite get across in words how the vibes gradually get more rancid. it's the little details that often get left out when this historic event is recounted that really make it - agassi's "you always have to go get serious, huh pete" is a personal favourite of mine. but to give a summary of the main points... sampras imitates agassi's famous pigeon-toed walk (the result of being born with spondylolisthesis, a back condition where one of your vertebra slips forward). then, agassi mockingly and repeatedly alludes to sampras being a poor tipper. which sampras follows up by straight up attempting to murder agassi

well, not quite, but he does use that lovely powerful serve of his to hit right at agassi - rather than diagonally across the court, where your service really should be going. also the serve is supposed to go like, into the box that's just on the other side of the net. whereas sampras' serve was travelling at a trajectory that took it oddly close to agassi's head

what's delightful to me about this clip is how they're both trying to play it off as a joke, even though you can tell that they're both visibly losing their tempers. look at the faces of two men just having a laff

shout out to the commentator for saying the rivalry between the retired players seemed to be stronger than the one between the current players. which - well, yes, that is true! this is what a proper rivalry looks like

they both got plenty of criticism for this episode - and agassi ended up both publicly saying he'd been out of line and messaged sampras to ask if he could apologise in person. and they did move on from the controversy, playing another exhibition the following year with no incident. here's what agassi said then:

isn't this great. isn't every word of this just great. like man he just gets it. isn't this great

still, beyond just being a fun bit of drama, it is a revealing moment between the pair of them. sampras is right that they both usually tried to avoid too much controversy, inclined to keep things civil and resist too much mudslinging in the press. sampras, after all, just wasn't really the type - and agassi had other things to worry about, never in a real position of strength in that rivalry. and yet, sometimes the mask slips just a little. the two of them often didn't understand each other, didn't really know each other at all, but they managed to get under each other's skin nevertheless. sampras was everything agassi couldn't be - and the reverse was true too. agassi couldn't find it in himself to copy sampras' pure dedication towards the sport, whereas sampras could never match agassi's flair and charisma. at times, there's a whiff of contempt in how they judge each other, cataloguing the other's shortcomings and incapable of imagining what it must be like to walk in the other's shoes. agassi could not dedicate himself completely towards tennis. sampras was uninspired. agassi was flighty. sampras was simple. a touch of envy, a little more contempt, and a whole lot of bafflement

for all that he won eight grand slams, in many ways agassi's story is one of failure. this is how much of his autobiography is framed - around hating tennis, around needing to be brilliant at it, over having to cope with loss after loss after loss. so much of tennis is about trying to find ways to process failure. it's all about failing... in matches, where even the winning player typically wins a little more than 50% of all points played and generally will lose quite a few games in the process. in tournaments, where all but one player will emerge from each event the loser. and even if that one has been won, the next tournament and potential loss is generally right around the corner. agassi hated that life, and yet he still took a couple years longer than sampras to walk away from it. and for agassi, the inevitability of that ultimate, final, inevitable loss was tied ever so closely to the existence of pete sampras. once more with feeling: "no matter how much you win, if you're not the last one to win, you're a loser. and in the end I always lose, because there is always pete. as always, pete." it's a bittersweet narrative - for all of agassi's success, for all that everything did turn out well for him in the end... it's always there, inescapably so, that lingering sense of inevitability. that helplessness. maybe the hand of destiny, after all. agassi was never able to overturn that narrative, no triumphant changing of the script or final triumph or any of it... and that'll hurt, and it'll always be a little bit sad. but he learned to live with it - and eventually found his own happy ending. there's something to that, isn't there?

[the-raindeer-king]

Monster au (no content warning. Gn reader, use of y/n, reader is a medium)

The two of them always show up late in the evening, far after the sun has set. It's easy to clock which one of them is a vampire, especially since you've never really seen him eat anything. He'll order something, sure. But the food always gets packed away in a to-go box that Johnny takes.

You learn through Johnny that the other man's name is Simon. Oddly normal name for a vampire, you think. But maybe he hasn't been around long. You don't bother asking, it seems rude too.

But that's the routine. Johnny and Simon come in late, sit in your section, and have dinner. Sometimes you take your break with them. It doesn't feel like you're forcing yourself into their little group. Hell, Johnny's your roommate. But sometimes, the way Simon stares at you makes butterflies erupt in your tummy and heats your cheeks.

You're pleasantly surprised when Simon comes in with someone else tonight. It's not a complete shock; Johnny's preoccupied with the full moon. But you've never seen them come in with anyone else, and you've certainly never seen this man before.

You head over to his table with a smile, already pulling your pen out of your apron pocket. “Hey, Si. You're here early,” you comment. A technical truth. The sun had set only thirty minutes ago; the sky still aglow with the remains of the day.

“Soap said you don't work late tonight,” he replies.

Another truth. One of the new girls took your typical shift, meaning you'd have been long gone by the time Simon normally comes in.

“Couldn't lose your favorite server,” you joke, noting the way his eyes crinkle, a sign he's smiling under his medical mask.

You turn to his friend, an apologetic smile on your face. “Where are my manners? I'm Y/N. I'll be your server tonight.”

Both men stare at you, different looks on their faces. Simon's eyebrows are furrowed together, confusion dancing across his eyes. The other man, dark hair and even darker eyes, stares at you in shock, mouth agape.

“Love, who are you talking to?” Simon asks carefully, his honeyed eyes darting between you and the other man.

“Your friend,” you answer, reality already settling heavy in your chest. You've gotten pretty good at telling the difference between the living and the dead, and haven't had a slip up in awhile. Only to ruin it all in front of the man you've been trying to impress.

“I, uh, I mean… let me get you some water,” you awkwardly fumble out, turning and practically running away.

You fumble around in the kitchen for fifteen minutes, hoping maybe he'll just leave. But that's the thing with the undead: they've got endless patience. Simon's practically glaring holes into the other side of the booth, as you return with a glass of ice water.

“Sit.”

It's not a question, and you know better than to argue. The other man scoots over, and you sit beside him. Subconsciously, you wrap your hands around the glass of the cup, the cold grounding you to the present situation.

The man moves his hand slowly, mouthing something as he does. It takes you a second to realize that he’s using sign language, that either he didn’t speak during life or his death removed the ability to. You don’t ask, just appreciate that he’s signing slowly so you can keep up.

“Your nickname was Roach?” you ask, outloud, missing the way Simon’s posture changes at the statement.

The man explains that his name is Gary, but Simon knows him as Roach. They were in the military together, before Simon got turned. This is news to you, as you had only gathered bits and pieces of Simon’s life from the things Johnny and him had dropped during casual conversation. Which, in all honesty, wasn’t a lot of information.

Finally, you turn to look at Simon, who stares like he’s seen a ghost (pun not intended). He stares intensely at the spot where Gary sits, like if he stares hard enough he’ll be able to see him. After a moment, he turns his dark eyes on you, frowning.

“So, you can see the dead?” he asks.

“I prefer the term medium, but yes, I can see the dead,” you agree. “Can hear them too, sometimes. It depends on the spirit.”

Simon sighs, leaning back in the booth. He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying not to go off on you. For a man, literally and metaphorically, surrounded by the ghosts of his past, he’s equally impressed as he is pissed that you didn’t say anything sooner. But, for now, he needs to know what Roach wants. The man deserves peace, after everything they went through together.

“Okay, so what does he want?”

“What?”

“Sanderson. What does he want?”

Now, it’s your turn to stare in confusion, eyebrows furrowed together. “What do you mean?”

Simon grumbles under his breath for a moment. “Don’t ghosts usually linger when they’ve got unfinished business, or whatever? So, if he’s still hanging around, then what’s the issue? Why hasn’t he passed on yet?”

“Oh, uh…” you reply, glancing over at Gary, who shrugs in response.

You learned pretty early on that, in some cases, the deceased just can’t move on. Sometimes it’s because they need help moving on, a burial in the wrong spot, missing important items, ect. Tangible things that they have no power in controlling. But, sometimes, it’s because they’re stuck in eternal limbo, better known as purgatory, condemned to wander the earth forever. But you’ve got a feeling that telling Simon this isn’t going to end well, so you keep it to yourself for now.

“He, uh, he doesn’t know,” you tell Simon, who looks like he might blow a gasket.

[sun-gut]

Rambling thoughts about the state of the vore community.

I'm quite frustrated with it in how it perpetuates minor-adult interactions, even if the interactions are trusted to be entirely nonsexual by both parties. Even if things are kept "SFW."

Before anything else, since I very likely have any people who disagree already blocked - if you want to have a good faith discussion about this, I will turn anons on. The catch being I will only respond if you have your username in the anon. If you are only here to invalidate my experiences or to flame me for being concerned about how there's groomers within this community who are taking advantage of how easily they can talk to children under the guise of the interaction being 'nonsexual,' then we have nothing to entertain and you will be ignored.

So, when I was quite young- around 14 or 15, I was very active in the vore community. I started reaching out to people, mainly adults, to talk about it with since I felt incredibly isolated with enjoying it nonsexually. The first person I knew through this, let's call him V, seemed to have understood that my interest in this is nonsexual, and responded in same. He knew how old I was. I knew he was in his mid to late twenties/early thirties. We'll get back to him later.

Around this same time(~15 y/o), I started a Kik group for nonsexual vore that allowed both minors and adults alike. It soon was filled with many people, and in that time I'd have made relationships with people who I also thought enjoyed it in the same way I had.

Until they showed otherwise, either directly to me or indirectly through sexually exploiting other minors in the chat. This carried over into a Discord server I made for the same thing- these people would seek out the kids in the chat and DM them. Seeing if they could find any children who were exploring their sexuality through vore, and then engage with them on that level. Even if they initially claim that they liked vore nonsexually. This happened to me too. Adults who targeted me because they liked my art, and would slowly pressure me to engage with them sexually or make sexual content for them. Even if there were never any genitals, they still found sexual pleasure in a child drawing fetish content for them.

This also happened to someone else I knew ("B", 15 y/o), who was in the Discord chat, but felt like she couldn't tell anyone because a person ("F", 18-20 y/o) established himself as a "safe" person in the community, both here and on Tumblr. Behind the scenes, even if he was only talking about vore nonsexually in the chat, F was sending B gore porn and pressuring her to engage with him.

V was like that. When I met one of his friends when I turned to an adult, I learned through them that he saw vore as a sexual fetish the entire time. He was secretly mining vore content out of a sex-repulsed ace child, telling me that it wasn't at all sexual. That he was like me. That I could trust him. How the fuck do you weed someone out of a community like that? How are you able to trust that the adult or child you're talking to about kinks isn't doing it for their sexual pleasure?

On top of that (when I was still a minor), another popular user who used to frequent Tumblr (bioluminescent-bat/nickname "Redla"), along with a Tumblr user named Glowinside, had a "SFW" Discord where Bat let in a child who was into unbirthing and openly talked about it. When I had brought up this as being an issue, I was entirely ignored. I left very soon after. These types of "SFW" servers are not uncommon to come across.

If you're an adult engaging with a child like this, and it turns out the child liked it sexually the entire time, that's you engaging in pedophilia. And if you're a child talking to an adult like this, and it turns out they liked it sexually too, you've just been sexually exploited. It's so, so fucking easy for people to lie about their intentions, and no matter how much you try to isolate yourself from the "dirty fetishists," these people follow. They do not magically disappear when they're deliberately looking for spaces to groom or sexually exploit. They seek you out because they don't fucking care if you like it nonsexually, they're trying to find minors who they can bend to their will. We have seen this happen, time and time again, with "safe" adults in the community. People who especially like to dictate themselves as being a child-friendly vore kinkster, and that any child can talk to them about vore.

On top of that, you wouldn't find this to be acceptable in other fetish communities, right? There's people who are nonsexually into BDSM. Or feet, gas, inflation, bodily fluids, diapers, etc. Would it be appropriate for adults to talk to children about their nonsexual kinks around that? Even if these are things that show up in kids' TV shows?

This is why I have so much concern for the vore community. Because I see children and adults alike interacting, and then see time and time again that someone gets groomed or sexually exploited. People who I considered friends exploited me, and people I knew were abused in the same way, as children. Their spaces should be kept entirely separate, and I'm extremely suspicious of anyone who disagrees with this notion.

[domain-of-revelation]

Love & Deep Space Notes (so far for Day 1, all quests/tasks completed, Ch. 2 completed)

The pre-launch MC editor was a nice touch to tide us over until launch.

The voice over customizer needs some adjustments. Even though when tuning the voice to the extremes gives a warning in potential audio quality dropping, I find that some sliders are more likely to come out weird, particularly the “Husk” slide. I myself have instances of vocal fry, so hearing the Husk slide have such a small range of “okayness” before it absolutely sounds inhuman needs to be redone.

May we please have more POC hairstyles/hairtypes? May we please have short hair options?

I noted this in the Survey L&DS has already put out, but the dialogue (at least in English) of the opening cinematic is incredibly fast and doesn’t have a lot of inflection or weight to it.

Speaking of the dialogue, the subtitles don’t line up perfectly in some instances, especially when characters are interrupting or talking over each other or when characters speak directly after each other.

While Zayne is my bias so far, his voice fits the least. My opinion.

I love Tara. She’s such a cute little side companion/exposition girl. I want to see her character more and explore her. Her voice actress is spectacular and fits her perfectly.

Jenna is a girlboss and we love that. Her voice is a great fit.

When “texting” the boys, there’s an option to also have captions!! I adore this. Great for people who are hard of hearing.

L&DS has graphical options for quality. I’m on an iPhone 12 (?) and having it on High doesn’t make my phone melt.

I’m on level 12 with one of the LIs, and I enjoy that every new bond gives you something, from gems to poses to new features you can do with them.

There are a few minor visual glitches, but nothing game breaking.

If you’re playing on mobile, you can’t also watch a YouTube video at the same time during the opening. If you do, the audio for L&DS cuts out completely.

Please know that your first and last name will show up as the actual character designation. I haven’t gotten to where a Nickname is used, so use a different name other than your actual name if you do that.

You get a free rename and new birthday ticket.

I’ve done all the quests for today, and reached level 20. I have to wait until server reset to continue the story, which is locked to 21+.

I’ll do the side stuff, like the branching dialogue side stories later tonight.

(Psst! I posted part 2 on my blog! Not much has changed, but there were some things I noticed. I’m also now on Chapter 5.)

[ceasarslegion]

wait, now im really interested in the silica gel drama. how did hlrp sex ed lead to eating a gel packet?

This is going to require a novel's length of context.

To begin, I want to underline that this is not meant to be a callout post, and I will not be providing any identifying traits that could be used to single this person out. The most you will get out of that are she/her pronouns, and her age at the time this happened, which was years ago, and I will not specify what year. I genuinely do hope she got the help she needed after this, because LORD knows she needs it and didn't find it at home. This is also not meant to be a character assassination, nor should anybody who reads this post consider it to be a takedown of any sort, and if you try to find this person through me or any of our mutual friends, you will not be met with kind words. The only thing this is meant to be is a wild-ass story of some of the most off the wall experiences I personally had with this person from my specific side of the story, with a few no-username screenshots attached to prove I am not bullshitting you.

With that in mind, let's get started. This is going to be very long, so I'm throwing in a read more

Back when I was in uni, I joined a growing group of Half Life roleplay blogs. The whole idea of our group was that we each chose a character, canon or OC, and we would blog as if the pre-Black Mesa incident moment in the timeline was a workplace comedy a la The Office or Superstore. I played Barney, because I was already working night shift security at this point and thought it would be funny. Plus, it gave me something to do that wasn't staring at CCTV feeds all night tossing a ball against the wall. We played off of each other very well, yes-anding our way through funny little situations and plotlines we put together. At one point we had roleplayed enough that one of the scientist rpers created a discord server for us to talk as the actual people we are instead of through characters.

Great idea at the time. None of us saw the "Pandora's box" label on the tin before we opened it. Would I still join it if I knew what was about to transpire? Yes, because I met my boyfriend and many genuinely lovely friends through it. Would I hesitate for a second first, though, as the events that are about to transpire flashed before my eyes? Oh, abso-fucking-lutely.

We started off as many fandom servers do: chill for the most part, very loud minority of a few assholes who ruined it for the rest of us, but unlike most fandom servers, we actually won and it ended in them getting banned and the server itself surviving to this day. But the other two lunatics are not who you came here for. You want the christian lunatic.

Let's give her a nickname to make this easier. I have the Sylveon build a bear on my PC desk. Let's call her Syl.

Syl was not there for Half Life, she was there for Portal. She LOVED Portal, Half Life was just part of the same universe for her. Portal wasn't just a game for her, it was her entire personality. Which I didn't see much of an issue with at the time, because she said she was 15. Whatever, I thought; she'll learn to control her emotional attachment to things as she gets older. Syl also said that she was christian. I am a flaming atheist who doesn't even believe in the concept of a soul in comparison and I am NOT the biggest fan of christianity as an institution to put it mildly, but I'm not gonna like, be a dick to you for your personal religion if you are not a dick about my beliefs, so I didn't think much of it at the time.

It quickly became apparent that Syl looked up to me more than any of the other adults in the group the more I would talk about my life growing up as a third culture kid and moving out on my own at 19, working 2 jobs and going to a good university. She would ask me a lot about growing up and uni and moving out and yes, sex ed, and it became even more apparent that she didn't get any actual guidance from her parents or pastors or ANYBODY beyond bible studies and homeschooling, so I kinda stumbled into a mentorship role in her life. I wasn't cold, but I was aware of the age and maturity difference between us and established the appropriate boundaries with her and made it very clear that I am an internet friend, not an irl friend or an educator, but if no one else was going to give her information that wasn't actively harmful then fuck, I guess SOMEONE had to do it. I could not in good conscience watch some kid go through life with harmful inaccuracies about the world and basic human biology when I could have done something about it, y'know?

And the more things I taught her about the real world and how things actually work rather than how her republican bible-thumping rural town said they did, the more I realized she was born into a full-blown cult under the guise of a christian congregation. Oh goody, I had my work cut out for me. I will not get into the details of how messed up this group was because it will be a dead giveaway of where she lives and potentially who she is, but let's just say that one time I said that I appreciated the gesture of praying for me during a stressful week I was having but it didn't really do anything for my mental health because I was an atheist, and she sent me a bunch of bible verses begging me to start believing and said "I just don't want you to go to hell because you're so nice :((" EXCUSE ME??? Another time she said that death was only sad for non-christians because their loved ones were in hell and that proper christians deaths were a good thing because they were in heaven now. Hi, that's the most insensitive death cult shit I've ever heard in my goddamn life.

Okay, set up is done. All of these details will tie in like the world's worst reboot of Pulp Fiction, I prommy.

After a good long while learning about the world from me (which like... a uni kid working night shift security is not exactly an academic source but we take what we can get) and exposure to viewpoints outside of her in-group, Syl began that very painful journey of realizing that what the cult taught you was a lie. Except that she just wasn't grasping that unlearning things was an active process. She started to flip to the opposite side very quickly, but kept all the fundamental brainwashing of the cult that raised her. The concepts were all the same, just slapped a different label on them. This created a noticeable pull between two sides of the same personality: the cult personality, and the person beyond the cult who wanted to break free. Mix that with how fucking 15 years old every 15 year old is, and you have a LETHAL concoction just waiting to blow up at the first sign of a spark.

Remember how I said that Portal was her whole personality? Syl decided that she wanted to be a scientist, and go into an ivy league program like I was in (I was in a SOCIAL science, but sure). Problem was, she didn't have the grades or the ambition, really. I had told her that I still got into an ivy league when I failed math in high school, and she seemed to completely miss the part where I said that I also joined every extra-curricular, then worked for 2 gap years for recognized institutions, and wrote an essay about why my math grade is not relevant to my program. I did it with one bad grade, so she was justified in basically just slacking off and then excusing it with "but its haaarrrdd" when we'd tell her she needs to put the fucking work in NOW if that's what she wants to do.

It quickly derailed from here. Not only was she going to be a scientist, she was going to be like Cave Johnson. And she was going to... replace her body with robot parts so she could be like glados. I don't... think she actually knew what science is, because she would just publically fantasize about running unethical experiments on people in the name of "science," and talk about how one day she wants to basically establish aperture labs for real. All of us who were there kind of agree that we don't think she was joking based on what we knew about her and the cadence of her tone. Here's something she said at the time to give you an idea of what direction she was nosediving in:

This was after a session with her therapist where said therapist said that she definitely has some kind of personality disorder, after which she was weirdly proud of having one and treated it like a badge of honour.

Syl then made a separate group chat for all the best friends she made on the server. There was her, me, @false-pyre, and @imtheaura. She titled it "My Family," despite the fact that we were all adults and she was 15 and she only knew us over a discord half life server where one person in it stepped up to somewhat equip her for real life outside of a cult. Regardless though that GC was more the vibe of a group of friends sharing memes and chatting about the day than the wider server was at the time. The others began to also take on a sort of mentorship role towards her as well, because that's kind of inevitable when you get someone talking about teenager problems in a room full of adults who all made the same mistakes before in their own lives. Well, minus the cult.

And remember how I said that she didn't unlearn any of the cult shit? Well, there was a lot of proselytizing. She decided she wasn't christian for a spell, but still wanted us and everyone to know that jesus was the lord and savior and we had to accept him or we'd burn in hell. Usually said after we'd make some joke about satan being daddy or declaring ourselves god instead, because that is just the type of humor the others and i have with each other. She took it so personally whenever one of us would go "oh my god" "you called?" it was fucking annoying. I lost count of the amount of lectures she gave us, all of which I'd shut down and tell her to get a grip about because I have a big stupid mouth.

The others and I also like to talk about evolution, and speculate about where we're going from here. My fucking god, did she not like that. She bit our heads off about how evolution isn't real and god made everyone as we are and there's no scientific evidence or whatever the hell. Like yeah good luck getting into STEM with that mindset. Whenever we pointed out that she was objectively wrong about that, she'd have a big stupid meltdown about how much we're slandering god and how jesus died for us and we're spitting in his face or whatever. He should spit in MY face inste-*GUNSHOT*

Eventually, we were making some actual progress with her. She was still one fry short of a happy meal and going off about how much she wanted to put living subjects in test tubes in between knocking on our doors and reciting Hello from the Book of Mormon musical, but we were getting somewhere. And then she went back to in person school, and her favourite teacher got fired.

The schoolboard did not say why she got fired, but we all had our suspicions that it was because she openly supported queer rights in a cult town. She was coincidentally retired shortly after making a declaration that queer people are still welcome in god's kingdom. This teacher was the first in person adult Syl had for guidance, so that incident shook her to her core, and she fell right back into the extremism. Hook, line, and sinker, even more extreme than before.

She was WEIRD that week, man. Suddenly everything was about how great god was, how amazing jesus was. Suddenly she understood why her cult member parents "just wanted to protect her" from gay characters on disney+ originals. Suddenly no one could say "jesus christ lol" around her or she'd have a fit. I said "I hate cycle counts lmao i wanna kms" because my then-job (I had graduated at this point) made me do inventory management spontaneously and wouldn't let me go home until I had counted every product in the store, and she bit my head off accusing me of turning suicide into a joke.

It was that incident that made us tell her to knock it off already, that we understood it was a hard week for her and she was in a period of grief, but that is no excuse for how she had been acting towards everyone around her that wasnt christian, and that she was actively relapsing. I'll let the exchange speak for itself:

So uh. After years of helping Syl through this she goes and pulls this bullshit. And then has the fucking AUDACITY to act like nothing ever happened in the wider server. I am genuinely gobsmacked by the balls on her to act like it was all sunshine and rainbows in the wider server after sending this and immediately leaving the same GC SHE made and titled "My Family" just because we told her to stop acting like a goddamn Jonestown citizen after all the work we'd put in to get her out of that mentality at this point.

So I dragged her up in front of everyone and essentially said "no, nuh uh, you don't get to say that shit to the people who have lost sleep and asked for nothing in return trying to help you escape a cult over the last 2 years and then act like we're all buddy buddy to everybody else. You don't get to be that arrogant and self-righteous without any consequences. I don't give a fuck how young you are, you DON'T treat the people who have helped you this much like that, you selfish little shit. How dare you treat us like this after all we've done for you over the years."

Unfortunately, no one involved had surviving screenshots of this, but they can back me up on it if they so choose. And oh boy, DID she face the consequences of her own actions. The whole server basically turned their heads and went "what the FUCK is wrong with you, Syl??" and asked her to at least like, apologize. She proceeded to double down with the added audacity of "you guys taught me how to establish healthy boundaries, that's all I'm doing right now :(( oh woe is me :(((" like WOW, okay. Someone's really going for the persecution complex.

Here's her last goodbye to us all before the mass block fest occured:

Oh, boohoo. You're so hard done by. You spat in the faces of everyone who stayed up all night multiple times helping you through crises and spent the last 2 years teaching you about how the world really worked and then they asked you to apologize after you tried to escape accountability. You truly are god's strongest soldier, the most persecuted minority in the world. Let me play you an ode to how righteous and holy you are and how this was the most important hill to sacrifice all your outsider friendships on on the world's smallest violin.

Syl then went on to post on her roleplay blog that she "was banned because I spoke up for what was right, and they didn't like that" before deleting it. Truly no one has suffered as much as you.

Anyway, the day after that went down, I called in from work, bought this book, and read the whole thing purely out of spite:

It was greatly therapeutic. After that incident, I vowed to never sanitize my own atheistic beliefs for the benefit of others again. If they don't like them, they don't have to talk to me. But I am not changing them for other people or keeping them quiet just to spare your feelings anymore, I have as much a right to my beliefs as anyone else does, including the world's most persecuted minority here.

And well, the silica gel incident?

There was one incident, during the height of Syl's "I am the irl cave johnson and only want to get into STEM to conduct unethical experiments on people. follow jesus" era, the rest of us were joking about how silica gel packets are the ultimate forbidden snack, and said "haha would eating it make you see shrimp colours" knowing full well it can kill you.

Syl proceeded to actually eat a silica gel packet and then send in "it has a sandy texture and tastes bad" prompting the rest of us to go "WE WERE FUCKING JOKING FIND YOUR POISON CONTROL HOTLINE RIGHT NOW"

And because i didnt get this done until now, I'll tag everyone who said they wanted to read this or expressed interest: @captainjonnitkessler @formydarlingtoread @cra-zwizard @chasingnightrainbows

[betabravo]

Snippet: Homeroom Miruko x Red Flag (Deus MHA AU) Part 6

(UA Staff chatroom)

Caerbannog: @Everybody Bakugou Katsuki should NOT be allowed to enroll into any hero school. Ever.

RatOverlord: So he isn’t secretly good at manipulating the staff into giving him glowing reviews?

NightOwl: Nezu, don’t scare away our new staff before the school year has started.

NightOwl: Miruko, deets. Now.

Momnight: Hey that’s my line! Where did you learn to talk like that?

NightOwl: You, Midnight.

Momnight: Understandable, please continue.

Caerbannog: Well, the tldr version is that I was walking towards the school, chilling while eating my icecream, when I just hear an explosion and see a blackened notebook fly out the window.

Caerbannog: And lo and behold, I hear a kid ranting about a quirkless kid for even daring to apply to UA like him. (No prizes for guessing who the 2 kids in question are.)

NightOwl: Sounds like a problem child already.

Caerbannog: And I hear the most fucked up thing from the Katsuki kid. And this is a quote that I’m typing with such anger that I’m surprised the phone screen isn’t cracked.

RatOverlord: You can thank Power Loader for the modifications to our hardware and software, but please continue.

Caerbannog: “If you want a Quirk so badly, I got an idea. Just dive off the roof and pray for a Quirk in your next life.”

Caerbannog: He’s basically everything the Table hates with a passion. Not sure if I dislike Endeavor or this bully more.

RatOverlord: … All who agree to help perform an unpleasantness, say aye.

NightOwl: Aye, I’ll help Miruko gather info about him and the school.

Momnight: Aye, need help to detain (read: abduct) someone, u know how to reach me.

Alucard: Aye, I’ll check online for others in the area with weak or villainous Quirks that have faced discrimination from him or the school.

Bunshin: Aye.

KingBumi: Aye.

Exosuit: Aye, I’ll hack their servers n see what dirt I can dig up.

Macarena: Aye, I’ll keep an ear out during my radio show for such stories that’re submitted, get the word out.

Mercy: Aye.

SPACE!: Aye.

BigGoodDoggo: @RatOverlord If they get in, I want Midoriya to have a session with me. Preferably immediately after orientation. Please let your class attend @NightOwl, at least let them know I’m here before giving the kid (and any others like him) trauma. Also aye.

ShokuKing: Aye, I’ll make bento boxes for all your stakeouts. Miruko gets extra carrot soup and Eraser gets stronger coffee.

NightOwl: There’s stronger coffee? And no one told me!?

Cowboy: Can’t I just shoot him? Aye.

RatOverlord: @BigGoodDoggo Granted. @NightOwl Consider this an order, attend orientation with your FULL class of 20 students. Your expulsion scare can come after. @Cowboy Snipe, no.

Cowboy: Snipe, YES!

RatOverlord: At least let me make a plan to hide our involvement first.

Caerbannog:…

NightOwl: And we’ve scared her off. Great.

Caerbannog: You guys are the BEST! Where have yall been all my life!? I’m so in!

NightOwl: Nevermind, this is worse.

onePUNCH!: What is going on with this chat group.

Mercy: Word of advice All Might. If you can't beat them, join them.

Mercy: Welcome to hell, fellow demon. We like to have fun here.

///

First/Last/Next

And here's part 6, in a chat fic format. And now Deus's Red Flag AU has the original idea where Katsuki's red flags are shown and the consequences that occur.

I had fun thinking about the nicknames everyone can use in the chat.

I'm up for suggestions for how the other teachers can help bring Katsuki and Aldera down.

[socalledsomethingorother]

just finished reading another bkdk masterpiece so i wanted to compile a list of my favourite bkdk fics! all of these authors are incredible!!

a promise (2k words) - katsuki and izuku get a chance to talk before the final war. every time i read this and see that it has hardly any hits or kudos i get offended because this is one of the most beautiful representations of katsuki and izuku’s characters. i love this, so much. it could be drawn out and considered canon and i wouldn’t be able to tell that horikoshi didn’t write it.

#letdekusmash + @/fuckmeupdeku (22k words total) - a news site gives deku some bad press. luckily there’s a thirsty stan account to back him up. who could be running this account? (it’s katsuki) this has been my comfort fic for years. it never fails to make me laugh and it’s just auagsgahsh i love it so much!!! also i reccomend reading fuckmeupdeku first, it’s the one from katsuki’s perspective. i think it makes reading izuku’s perspective that much funnier.

chasing stars underwater (52k words) katsuki has to go undercover for a mission and his death is faked. izuku grieves over katsuki’s “death” while falling in love with his undercover identity. NO FIC HAS REWIRED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY QUITE LIKE THIS ONE. IT HAS EVERYTHING. IT’S GOT IZUKU. IT’S GOT KATSUKI. IT’S GOT KATSUKI AS A FASHION DESIGNER. IT’S GOT ANGST. ITS GOT AHDHUSVAVDBSBBEBEB I CANNOT PRAISE THIS ONE ENOUGH

deku, enchanted (94k words) izuku is hit with an obedience quirk and is forced to do whatever anyone tells him to. it gets quite awkward when katsuki constantly tells him to “go fuck yourself.” OH MY GOD THIS ONE. THIS ONE AUSUUSGSGDGSGHSGDGDGG. THIS AUTHOR AGAIN. AMAZING. THE ENDING STILL GETS ME.

improbable (75k words) izuku and katsuki meet anonymously in a discord server and talk 24/7. they have no clue that they’re actually talking to each other. THIS FUCKIGN AUDUSUGSGEGEHEHGEGEGEHEHGSVDVSGSHDHHDHDHDHDBDBBEBSBDBDHDH EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS AMAZING. THE NICKNAMES. THE WAY THEY FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER. THE ENDING. THE MIDDLE. THE BEGINNING. THE EVERYTHING.

off my chest (9k words) deku vs. kacchan pt. 3 and it’s pure hate smut. UAGHTHAGAHH AGAIN. ONE OF THE BEST PORTRAYALS OF THEIR CHARACTERS. MY FAVOURITE SMUT FIC. I LOVE THIS ONE MAN.

i’ve found hope in a heart attack (92k words) katsuki has a cancerous brain tumor and deals with it in the most katsuki way possible. THIS ONE HURTS, FOLKS. but man it’s just. it feels canon to me like this just feels like a “katsuki gets cancer arc” of mha. it’s written so beautifully and man. it hurts. a lot.

and now a section dedicated to my favourite author sapphicpandabear who writes pure amazingness every time even though they’re constantly writing. i admire them so much!!

heroes on ice!!! (71k words) a yuri on ice x my hero academia crossover in which katsuki and izuku are a part of a program where they’re taught by quirkless pros. along with those two, a few other members of 1-A visit hasetsu, where they’re challenged to create a short program figure skating routine. YOU CAN FIND MY THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS OF EVERY CHAPTER BUT ITS MOSTLY KEYSMASHES BECAUSE I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FIC AND THAT LOVE SHORT CIRCUITS MY BRAIN

break my heart (ongoing) izuku and katsuki haven’t seen each other in years, but they’re forced to work undercover together as a very sexually active couple. I GOT THIS AS A GIFT ITS LIKE PANDA READ MY MIND BECAUSE THESE ARE ALL OF MY FAVOURITE TROPES AND AUGH THIS IS ALREADY AMAZING

1 thru 5 (26k words) katsuki and izuku enter a friends-with-benefits type relationship and use a level system. I GET SO HYPED FOR SMUT FICS THAT HAVE A LOT OF COMMUNICATION AND THIS ONE DELIVERSSSS!!!! this was also gifted to me so ty ty

quirk entanglement (4k words) mina gets a bag of chocolate and each piece gives whomever eats it a random quirk effect. izuku gets an aphrodisiac quirk. i just love whenever mina is chaotically involved in things lmao

canada is too far away for this bullshit (12k words) while overseas, izuku sends katsuki a photo that happens to have a…toy in the background. katsuki goes insane about it. AUGH THIS ONE IS GREAT TOO!! also super funny lolol

[gallapiech]

im held hostage to do this tag game

thank u @spookygingerr for making this week's tag game heeeheeee and thank you @lingy910y @sleepyheadgallavich & @creepkinginc for tagging me!

favourite nickname someone gave you: NOT GREG. hm, maybe Fernsie? People usually just call me Pie lol.

favourite thing in your room/house: my computer :3c

your favourite thing about a friend/partner/family member: the joking jokester you make me laugh so much for the next challenge we will be painting using mythica's blood

what is something you’re grateful for today? The people who ordered a keychain :)

what’s your favourite thing about this fandom? The creativity!!!!!

if one song could describe your day today, what would it be? I'm so ass at doing these kind of things uhhh

pick one of your pocket pals and tell them something you admire about them: I'm gonna do this one a little differently, and use it for my tags at the same time!

@ian-galagher I admire the fact that despite also being Dutch you still haven't come to my house and beaten the ever loving shit out of me, yet. ♥ Also the Africa fic is so good I love it and you.

@lee-ow ur ok ig.

@deathclassic Molllyyy I always get excited when our paths cross! I admire your work ethic because I would've exploded 100 times already if I had the same work hours that you do LOL.

@thepupperino I love talking to you sooo much omg! I manifest you having insomnia every morning just so I can catch you in the discord server :) Also your stories are always so crazy and amazing oh my god.

@deedala I love it whenever we struggle at trivia together <3 What's the dps number of the shit toilet in fallout 4? hint: 0 vowels @doshiart I admire your dedication to art so much!!! Your art is so fucking good and I love your backgrounds and rendering I got much to learn from you.

@roryonic I admire your work ethic and I love your fics sooo much, your dry sense of humor is also very funny. @jrooc Your big sister energy is ooffff the charts Jess I love talking to you and I always feel like you give me a safe space. Also your writing is bomb dot com I eat all your words up. @heymacy YOUR GIFS AHHHH tyheyre so amazing macy, I also love it whenever I can catch you in the server. I always feel like you bring the sun with you wherever you go. @transmurderbug Sky I love talking to you, seeing you fail so miserably with the snail race commands and then giving up. I can't wait to hang out again next netflix n chill.

I can go on forever so I'll force myself to stop here, LOL. If I didn't mention you then you probably already tagged me :3, or I'm too lazy to add you but i still see u and appreciate u muah muah muah

[chand-ki-priyatama]

Ek khat ek captain dost ke naam

@paapi I friend you for life

Your name "MAYUR" typically matches your personality , the elegant, regal and disciplined vibes you give off damn....

I'll nickname you "WILLOW" the reason well...

And your communication skills , accent , vocabulary , please don't mind but I wanna steal all that bw I already told you this have'nt I ???

Although I can express all this on a call or text too but , I am a writer (Aisa mujhe lagta hai) and writers don't speak or write they bleed ink on paper , so these are my feelings for you in the form of a letter....

So ye khat aapke naam from your friend Kaya ek kaviyitri aur lekhika....

You are the only one who actually understood my persona rather than trying to change it....

Someone who feels like a mentor

Someone who is a therapist to me (I am sorry but I had to write this)

Dear Peacock Mayur,

I hope this letter finds you in good health , I never nicknamed you again cause the one I gave you didn't approve it , but you attribute alot to a willow , The willow tree symbolizes flexibility . A big part of your purpose in this world is to learn, grow, and evolve through challenging times of adversity. The willow tree is capable of bending in outrageous poses without snapping..... And that's you these are the attributes of your personality....

I still vividly remember how we first interacted on the server , when you were praising me in the rp server and then me as usual talking about shivji and you saying about mahakaleshwar and yeah ofc the chaar dhaam yatra.... You know you can sponsor my chaar dhaam I won't mind

And then making a Spotify blend with you just to get a 99 percent match like damn I never get this high match with anyone still it would have been 100 percent if not for Kpop cause I don't listen to that music....

And then having a VC with you and the first thought I had after listening your voice , how can someone have such a beautiful voice truly euphonious and your accent let's not go there otherwise this letter would end in me fan-girling....

I just love to interact with you like how can someone be so mature and understanding....

And kindly drop the secrets cause I am in dire need of being mature.....

"You are someone who's existence will always be dear to me"

Our friendship was something which I didn't even expect and it was something I could never even think of but yeah the most beautiful friendships are unexpected.....

We are always together in everything although not physically but whenever you see the stars and moon remember that they bind me together with everyone and whenever you feel alone just look at them somewhere I am doing that too...

They bind me to you

You are one of the most supportive person out there , I mean whenever I talk to you it doesn't feel as if I only know you for days....

You feel like koi fariyad song soft melody after tiring rock music....

How can someone be so perfect in every sense I mean how....

I won't associate you with a fictional character , cause you are a like a man written by a woman, perfect in every sense...

These are your vibes according to me :-

I still have alot to know about you.... yeah I know I speak so much that you don't get the turn to speak....

You know how I am talkative af , clingy , moody , irritating and to an extent thodi si nakchadi hu but that's how I am , I know I irritate you alot but that's how I am and that's why people leave me , so sorry for all the times when I irritated you....

And yeah I will throw a kdrama at you although I don't watch any except one which I only know so I'll throw king the land at you cause that's the only I have watched and I dare you to do what you said I'll not spare you.....

Now imagine we met and you know my obsession with Polaroids so think these pics as them...

I know deep down somedays you might also feel as if you are alone as if things are not going the way you want them to , somedays you might also feel pretty exhausted but just remember that its life ups and downs are bound to come , you'll always be a part of my prayers....

If you were a colour I'd say you as sage green cause people with sage green personalities Often are found to be perfectionists, with the great admiration for details. That is why they tend to be good researchers. Winning arguments comes easy to them and their strong-willed character makes them unwilling to accept the authority..... And yeah according to me you have all these traits....

अजीब दास्ताँ है ये कहाँ शुरू कहाँ ख़तम

I associate these lyrics to our friendship cause as I said unexpected in a way which I didn't imagine....

You are one of the most sweetest , kindest and beautiful being I ever met....

Last few days were tough for me so thank you for always being there for me and supporting me throughout....

I lost my faith in friendship way too early but thanks to you and few others that you revived it....

I don't know after writing this too I feel I am short of words , you have been there for me , for you friendships like this might not matter that much but for me it's something I'll cherish forever cause these aren't little things when I'll look back they'll be very beautiful memories....

Now imagine me playing a guitar and singing this song to you...

"Will you take a moment?

Promise me this

That you'll stand by me forever

But if, God forbid, fate should step in

And force us into a Goodbye

If you have children someday

When they point to the pictures

Please tell them my name

Long live the walls we crashed through

I had the time of my life with you"

I'll dedicate these lyrics to you.....

Just so you know I love you to the moon and back and will always appreciate and cherish your existence and our friendship.....

I'll dedicate these songs to you and it's voice notes well I'll send them to you....

Now I think I have spoken enough

So signing off Willow aka peaco Mayur

With love always

Kaya 💗

[theadventuresofalittlebug]

Hiii can I ask what ur Hermitcraft headcannons areee

This ended up wayyyy longer than anticipated so here we go

This is a pretty open request so I’m just gonna list random headcanons. I’m also assuming you meant agere so thats what I’m going to do here.

Who I headcanon as a regressor kinda changes depending on what I’m writing, for example in my short fic Hanging Stars, Zed doesn’t know Tango regresses until s9, but I typically imagine they both regress and have known for a while.

I think Tango regresses from 3-5 normally, and at that age is quite active and excitable, he can’t sit still and prefers to run around rather than sit. The one exception is watching cartoons, he will be glued to the screen and can easily watch for hours, so he needs someone around to keep him from wasting the whole day staring at a screen. Occasionally though he will regress younger, more like 1-2, typically when he is tired. in that case he is more nervous and would rather sleep cuddled up with his caregivers than go on adventures.

As I covered in a different post (Here) Zed is a baby regressor, I already talked about it in that post.

In the context where most of the server is open about their regression I think Grian always builds a huge room in his base as a play room for the littles! It has tons of toys, a cozy blanket nest for naps, and a little kitchen always stocked with easy snacks!

In s7 Joe’s dog catcher business actually involved him putting a bunch of dog stuffies around the shopping district, after all of that he gave one to every hermit, little or not.

Grian has the biggest collection of stuffed animals ever seen. Most are birds, but he has many others including a toy sheriff from empires, a cod, several cats including a Jellie from Scar, a stuffed corgi from Joe, and a llama (Scar has a matching one) 

Keralis is a flip I haven’t really thought about how he’d be when little, he is the best babysitter when hes big

He would always use cute nicknames with whoever hes caring for eg: baby, little one, some cute play on their name

Always making sure that his little is safe, constantly telling them to be careful so they don’t get hurt

Loves making his littles laugh, he makes lots of silly jokes, his favorite being to pretend he doesn’t know something suuuper obvious, so the little can tell him the answer while giggling at how silly he is

Grian loves trains when hes little, he has a play mat with super detailed roads and houses on it that he likes to play trains on.

Pearl’s favorite thing to do when little is play pretend, she isn’t super used to having a cg I think so she probably prefers to go on adventures and get into trouble with her stuffed animals! 

I think Impulse is a cg for both Team ZITS and the Soup Group, Zed and Tango care for each other if they aren’t little themselves, as do Gem and Pearl

When Tango and Zed are both little Tango loves to be Zed’s big brother, but he’s frequently too loud for Zed and accidentally scares him, so Impulse always has to keep a close eye on him.

I think Joe and Etho both regress but its not super obvious when they do, as they are both older regressors (Joe 8-9, Etho 12-13). The main signs that Joe is little is that he doesn’t use as complex of vocabulary, and he is more energetic. Etho spends most of his time alone when he’s regressed, typically either drawing or watching anime and reading manga or comics.

also thank you so much for asking! I love talking about my agere hcs sooo much!

[shadow-genesis-yay]

Gimme them Memory headcanons! Please!

Say less! o7

>headcanons under the more/reading<

(Sorry it's long & for late response, was shopping for birthday stuff)

First 1: Memory in my design has white streaks they got from Void's side! Void just dyes his hair black to hide em for unknown reasons (probably ego or smth I dunno. Voids out of my control /j)

2: They're 6'4, uses mostly It/They but also uses he. They prefer mostly the other two tho but won't get mad if he is also used. (This one's mostly based off how in canon, Memory was referred to as a thing by Sabre, and he would use It/They until switching to He. Mem was still called a thing but used he ig). Oh and ig they also used nicknamed but only like it when Void calls em them. Like Memmy/Mem/Memoy/Fancy Steve lol

3: He has light sensitivity and uses their mask to help it when outside of the void/memory dimension

4: It has heterochromia, but in a different way! His left eye doesn't have a iris/pupil, and the area that's supposed to be white is pure red like Voids. (I think it's called the sclera) and also on said left side, they have a scar on its cheek that it got during some event they doesn't like talking about

5: Memmy likes cats and owns two! One tuxedo cat named Voodoo, and the other, a black cat (Bombay I think) called Morticia! Memmys had them since they was a smol lil swirly peppermint boi, and treats them like royalty as deserved 😤

6: (this one's kinda from a quote my friend made but it's too funny to not make a Memory headcanon) If Memory got called a specific slur I'm not gonna say, he'd just be like "Yeah no duh, it's obvious. Now please tell me something I already don't know about myself, or leave please and thanks."

7: Memory is highly skilled in swordsman ship, archery, and fighting. It's won awards in competitions they entered secretly (not because Void would be mad, but because they're Void's son. Void's like a king/God in the eyes of the other steves [of course except Nightmare LMAO] and terrifies em.) They's only lost once and that was more on its end since he didn't want to do competitions anymore, so they purposely disqualified itself by starting a fight.

8: while this one may be more of a ship that was started for funnies, it took my brain over so uh yeah. Memory is married to Faceless. The reason for why (to me) is because since Faceless doesn't have a face (no duh), he's immune to Memory's powers, even when mimicking others. And Faceless just couldn't resist a fancy boi in a suit. (I love this ship but at the same time I'm like "I want it gone from my mind its been 3 months help") ik they never met canonically but I speculate they met a tiny bit when Elemental worked for Void and El had to capture Faceless. It's a long shot but yolo I was bored

9: Memmy boi like flowers. Mostly roses or any black flower, but they'll be content with any other color if red & black are unavailable :)

10: While Memory may seem stern and cold, when you get to know them, he's really nice! Though it's usually always on guard and will unintentionally break your arm if you happen to spook them (somehow).

11: Memmys very sneaky and will smile a cheeky smile when it scares someone from behind.

12: Memory really hates cameras. Like, REALLY REALLY hates em. Whether it's off or not, they don't care and WILL throw a dagger at it. This one's more from a funny thing Sabre himself replied with in his discord when I said "I wish Memory had more screen time. He would of bee such a cool villain" with Sabre replying "maybe he did but we forgot".....I walked basically right into that joke but I love it so I'm considering it canon /hj

Uhhhh yeah anyways I think that's it other than more funny meme ones me and a friend made when I was bored and thought 'what if after the camera was off, Sabre and the steves would have a smp world together' and Memory would be the sometimes chaotic one of the server.

Ye uh I rambled alot lmao idk if this will even post but thank you so much for the ask and willingness to hear the headcanons about our silly little peppermint boi! Memory deserves so much more love that what's seen, I love him so much

Memory Steve, our beloved 'forgotten' king <3 👑

[ninadove]

20 questions for fic writers 📝✨

Thank you for tagging me, @bittersweetresilience! I love talking about myself. I’m my own favourite subject.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of now, 13! I’m keeping a couple in store as they were written for specific events.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

62,992 let’s GO

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Miraculous Ladybug and Professor Layton! I should really get working on the latter again…

4. What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?

@paracosmicat look at our babies. They’re doing so well 💜💚

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!!! I love exchanging with readers, especially since our little fandom niche is so comfy and warm. If you’ve ever left me a kind comment or a bunch of happy emojis, please know you made my day! 💖

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

WELL THEY ALL GET HAPPY ENDINGS

Clive isn’t doing too hot in The Lucky Ones right now, but it’s a WIP so he’ll get there. Eventually.

As for my finished fics, probably Everything I did (I did for you) pre-epilogue? I consider it to be a happy resolution, but Adrien is crying pretty hard.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

WELL THEY ALL GET HAPPY ENDINGS — Oh wait. I already mentioned that, didn’t I.

The fluffiest one (so far) is probably Avant-première!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! People have been wonderful overall. 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh oh, my friends. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I am a little ace dove who gets a critical case of boredom whenever movies feel the need to feature a smutty scene.

Nothing wrong with the genre itself, of course — it’s just not my cup of tea!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

@dragongutsixofficial have discussed many crossovers over the years! Maybe one day I will commit one to paper. 🌍

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! Hopefully this doesn’t change.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but that would be a good exercise! Writing in my first language (🇫🇷) actually puts a bigger pressure on my shoulders.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

ABSOLUTELY AND HERE ARE THE GOODS:

Shadow Strike with @paracosmicat

Unmasked with @paracosmicat

ephialtes / reverie with the Anarchist Gang Server (🎶 all of you, all of youuu 🎶)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

🎶 In canon they have never met 🎶

Special mention to Feligami, because. Duh.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

LISTEN I WILL FINISH IT I JUST NEED TO FOLLOW THE BRAINWORMS WHERE THEY TAKE ME

But right now it’s probably The Lucky Ones, my role swap AU for Professor Layton. I’ve been working on it since 2019 and I know where I’m going with it — it’s just taking a while to actually get there, y’know?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Well I’m very good at making myself cry. Which hopefully means the feelings are getting across to my lovely readers too.

I do have extensive experience on writing redeemed villains struggling to build back bridges with the people they love. 12 years of obsessing over a fictional terrorist will do that to you.

Technically speaking, though, I think I’ve gotten great at deleting bits of dialogue and description I don’t need to keep only the essentials! It makes my writing lighter, while also encouraging readers to explore the metaphors for themselves.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am paiiinfully slow and lose motivation easily when writing longer fics (see: The Lucky Ones). Shadow Strike is the exception to the rule, and what a wonderful exception it is. 💜💚

One-shots are the format for me, but I’ve been enjoying two and three-parters a lot lately!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don’t think I’ve had to do it before (except for the occasional nickname or curse word), but I’d probably be able to!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Probably Professor Layton or Pokémon Black and White! I got into these when I was 13. Dragon Quest IX came a little bit earlier, but it took a while to finish, so my one big fic for it must have been around the same time.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

How could you make me choose (Shadow Strike)

How dare you even suggest I might like some of my babies more than the others (Shadow Strike)

Preposterous. I could never pick just one —

SHADOW STRIKE

Hmm. Yes. It is Shadow Strike indeed. @paracosmicat and I have so much fun working together and we get to be as self-indulgent as our hearts desire. Truly our masterpiece. 💜💚

From a technical perspective, I think Everything I did (I did for you) is my best work so far! I’m very proud of the metaphors carefully woven into this one. Photosynthèse was a nice training!

Everything I write for Feligami fixes something in my brain chemistry, and La nuit, tous les chats sont gris just. Makes me so happy. For so many reasons.

Tagging @dragongutsixofficial, @paracosmicat and anyone who would like to participate! 💖📝