#I already got headaches by the end of the day because of everything else. I did not need it worse

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I gotta stop saying "left eye" first whenever someone proposes a saw trap where they remove parts of your body. I could be getting free wisdom tooth surgery

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  

“what’s all this?”  

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  

“No” 

“care to explain why?” 

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  

I love you.” 

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 

“Together how?”  

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 

Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 

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As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

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tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

[babyleostuff]

PHOTOGRAPH | JEON WONWOO

based on "photograph" by Ed Sheeran

SYNOPSIS | Wonwoo knew dating as an idol would be almost impossible, yet he was ready to take the risk. Unfortunately, you were the definition of "right person, wrong time". PAIRING | idol!wonwoo x fem!reader GENRE | angst WORD COUNT| 2.8k

natalia's note | this is wonwoo's pov from this fic, though it can be read as a stand alone

Wonwoo never cared about relationships - he thought goodmorning texts were overrated, planning dates seemed too tiresome, and he didn’t see the appeal of letting someone else wear his hoodies and sweaters. Besides, he was too busy with work and it was hard to focus on anything else than the neverending schedules. He couldn’t remember the last time he got more than five hours of sleep. 

At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

Dating in the industry was hell on earth, he knew that. Wonwoo had witnessed careers end and lifes get destroyed just because people fell in love. So, he made a promise to himself that that would never happen to him - he wouldn’t allow himself to fall for anyone, and spare himself the trouble of a broken heart and a ruined career. He didn’t care that he had no one to cuddle at night, no one to hug, no one to kiss, no one to call during tour. 

And then you came, and changed his entire world. You became his everything, his little ray of sunshine - you were the first person he looked for in the crowd during their concerts, the first person he ran to on the backstage, the first person he called after they won an award. For the first time in his life he felt complete. 

“I’m sorry. It wouldn’t have worked out either way.”

He didn't even want to imagine the look on your face when he said it. Through the fucking phone. 

Wonwoo was on the verge of throwing up, but he knew that if he didn’t end it now, he’d never do it. He spent the last week crying before falling asleep from exhaustion in the night, and quickly wiping the tears that rolled down his cheeks during the day - he knew what he had to do, or both of your lives would get destroyed, and that’s something he’d never be able to live with. 

“Wonwoo, can I talk to you?” He didn’t know what to expect when their manager approached him in the middle of their rehearsal, but he definitely didn’t expect to hear that he had to break up with you, or his work and your safety would be on the line.

Wonwoo pulled the phone back from his ear, and with a shaky finger pressed the red button. 

That would be the last time he’d ever talk to you. 

We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts are never broken And time's forever frozen still

Wonwoo didn’t bother with picking up his suitcase from the trunk, he knew Mingyu would pick it up for him. It generally seemed that he couldn’t be bothered with anything other than drinking himself into oblivion and crying until he passed out from exhaustion ever since he broke up with you. All of that just so he'd try to erase every possible memory he had of you together. 

With heavy shoulders, and a headache, Wonwoo shut the door to his room behind him, enveloping himself in the darkness. Usually, you’d already be there, dressed in one of his hoodies, lying on his side of the bed because you fell asleep while waiting for him. He’d tuck you in, making sure you were warm and comfortable, before he’d take a quick shower and unpack some of his stuff, so he wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning. 

The absence of you in his bed didn't hurt as much as what he saw on his bookshelves and desk, though - countless photos of you from trips, nights spent together in your apartment, photos from parties with the guys and their girlfriends, and pictures he took especially with you in mind. 

His favourite one had to be the one from Japan, when you and the rest of the seventeen girlfriends flew out to Tokyo and surprised them after they won the daesang. You were all huddled on the floor of the hotel room, trying to fit in the picture, as all of you had your arms wrapped around each other, smiles on your faces. Wonwoo could practically hear your laughter, as DK almost knocked the table down, because Seungkwan pushed him to be sure he’d be in the frame. 

“Move your ass, I want to be in the picture!” Seungwan yelled, digging his elbow into Seokmin's stomach. 

“You are, you idiot. Can’t you see that half of your face is in the frame? Stop hitting me!” DK yelled back, pushing Seungwan in return. 

Neither of you knew what was ahead of you at the time, and Wonwoo couldn’t stand the look of love in your eyes, he couldn’t stand the way he was shamelessly staring at you with nothing but adoration, like none of the other twenty people in the picture existed. 

“Fuck!” Wonwoo yelled, slamming the photo against the floor, breaking the glass. 

“Wonwoo, are you okay?” Mingyu knocked on his door a second later, making him wonder how long his friend had been standing there. “Just leave me alone,” Wonwoo said, his voice breaking, as the first tears started falling. He was surprised he was still able to cry, considering how much he was doing that for the past few days. 

“Leave me�� alone.” 

So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone

“I miss you.” 

Wonwoo couldn’t see your face, but he knew you were pouting. He giggled to himself, and nuzzled his face further into the pillow like a lovesick teenager, smashing his glasses against his face in the process.

“I miss you too, baby,” he said, picking up his phone from the bed, as if it would make him feel any closer to you. “But I’ll be home in a week.” A week too long. 

He could hear you sigh angrily, as you started your usual rant about why overseas schedules shouldn’t be longer than five days, giving him a recap of the list you have written down in your notes app. “You can laugh as much as you want, Jeon Wonwoo, but I’m suffering here.” 

There was nothing else for him but to laugh at your sulking tone, he loved how you didn’t have any limits when it came to him and dissing his schedules. “Do you have the book I gave you before I left?” Wonwoo asked, and immediately heard some shuffling, as if you were getting up from the bed. 

“Of course, but I’m not in the mood for reading,” you sighed. To be honest, you were rarely in the mood for reading - you preferred being read to. Specifically by Wonwoo. Definitely not because you were addicted to his deep and velvety voice, at least that's what you were telling him. 

Wonwoo knew better. 

“Go get it and open it,” Wonwoo said with a soft smile on his lips, laughing when he heard your annoyed groan.

He waited patiently for you to find the book and discover a photo booth picture you thought you had lost a while ago. You took it on one of your first dates, and Wonwoo knew how much you loved that photo, so he was over the moon when he found it laying under the bookshelf when he was cleaning your room. 

“How? What? Wonwoo?” you gasped, and he couldn’t help but laugh at your surprised reaction. 

“I found it some time ago, but forgot to tell you.”

He heard you sigh quietly, and from what he could judge it wasn’t a happy sigh. “Now I feel even more alone.” 

“Baby,” Wonwoo murmured, his tone matching your sad one. “We only have a week left, you won’t even notice when I’ll be back.” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” 

And if you hurt me That's okay, baby, only words bleed Inside these pages, you just hold me And I won't ever let you go

“You said you’d be home!” 

This wasn’t how the evening was supposed to go, not at all. You had been planning this date for a while now - it wasn’t anything big, just a homemade dinner and a movie, but any moment spent together was special for you, so it didn’t really matter what you did. And what could be better than to prepare a nice meal together and then eat it cuddled under fluffy blankets, while watching a bad movie you could both make fun of. 

If only Wonwoo’s practice didn’t run late. 

“I’m sorry, but I told you my phone ran out of battery," he said, pointing at his dead phone helplessly. “And we really were busy, baby. You know how the comeback season is,” he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. 

“I know, but if you really cared about me you’d make sure to at least text me. I was waiting for four hours Wonwoo, it’s literally 1 am!” You said, your tone getting angrier and angrier. 

Wonwoo understood why you were angry, he wasn't surprised, but he thought that maybe you would be a little more understanding. On the other hand, he knew how much you were looking forward to this date, he was waiting for it himself, and the fact that he didn't even text you certainly didn't make the situation better. 

“Sweetheart, please,” he tried reaching for your hand, but the second his fingers touched yours you pulled away. 

“You're a bad boyfriend Wonwoo, you ditched me like I was nothing.” 

Your voice was full of venom and Wonwoo couldn't help the slight pain he felt in his chest. Your words when you were angry always hurt him like hell, but he didn't expect to hear something like that. He knew you didn't mean it, of course you didn't - you were angry, tired, hungry, and Wonwoo knew it was pointless to blame you for your words. He loved you too much to do it. 

But before he could say anything, he felt your arms around his neck. 

“I’m so sorry, Wonwoo. I didn’t mean it, I’m so stupid,” you mumbled into his neck. “I love you, I’m sorry,” you kept repeating. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he ran his hand over your arm, cradling the back of your head with the other. “We both messed up a bit, but it’s okay, baby.” 

“I'm just afraid that one day I'll say something stupid enough to make you leave me,” you whispered, as if you were afraid that if you said it a little louder, your words would become true.

"Just hold me, baby, and I promise I'll never let you go."

Now Wonwoo would give anything to hear even the worst insults about him from you. He tilted the glass to his mouth, which turned out to be empty - just like the whiskey bottle he had taken from Mingyu, not that the younger minded. Or maybe he did, but Wonwoo didn't care much. He snorted and put the empty glass on the night table, from which he took a photo framed in a black frame instead.

Your faces were covered with a white face masks and your heads were adorned with pink cat headbands, and even though you were definitely too close to the camera, to the point where the photo was blurry and unclear, Wonwoo could still see your wide smile perfectly. 

It was from the date Wonwoo surprised you with a few days after your failed one. It was one of the best nights of his life.

Oh, you can fit me Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen Next to your heartbeat where I should be Keep it deep within your soul

“You know my ex boyfriend got me this, right?” You raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him sceptically.

“Baby, you were sixteen then,” Wonwoo flicked your nose. "I will not be jealous of your great love at the age of sixteen."

You muttered something under your breath, frowning at him adorably. “If you want, I can buy you a new one,” he said, pointing to your necklace.

“No,” you muttered, not looking at him. Cute. "I like it."

"Exactly, so stop whining and let me put the picture in," he couldn't help but smile as he looked at the photo of himself in your necklace, resting right above your heart.

“You picked out the worst picture of me there is, I hate you,” you groaned, hitting your head against his chest.

“Well, I love it, and that’s what matters. Now,” Wonwoo grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles. "I’ll always be with you."

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me Under the lamppost back on Sixth street Hearing you whisper through the phone "Wait for me to come home"

Wonwoo looked around his bedroom with droopy eyes (was it from crying, alcohol or tiredness he didn't know), which less than three weeks ago was full of life - full of you. 

The knowledge that he would never see you again weighed on him like a stone on his heart, but even so - Wonwoo didn’t want to forget you, no matter how much it hurt. He wasn't even sure he could even if he wanted to, you were present in every corner of this room - your pillow still smelled of your perfume, there were your skincare products on his desk, which you never kept in the bathroom for some reason, and your sweater was still lying on the back of the chair in the corner because you were too lazy to put it in the wardrobe. 

Wonwoo grabbed his phone with a trembling hand, its screen lighting up and displaying a wallpaper with a photo of you that he took right before he left for the tour. You were in bed, your hair messy and dishevelled, your eyes still closed and your lips in a sweet pout - you didn't even know he took the photo, but Wonwoo couldn't help himself. 

"Won, you said you'd wake me up," you mumbled, your voice muffled by the pillow and duvet that covered almost your entire head.

“But you're not sleeping,” he said quietly with a smile, brushing strands of hair from your face.

You murmured something, pulling the covers over your head. Wonwoo couldn't help but laugh at your silly antics - he loved how clingy you got whenever he had to leave early in the mornings, you were like a cuddly teddy bear that wanted all the hugs in the world. “You know what I mean. I wanted to help you get ready to leave,” you complained from under the covers.

"I love you, baby, and I love it when you help me, but right now I'd much rather have you get some sleep."

“But I'm going to miss you,” you groaned, poking your head out from under the covers.

“It's only a week and a half,” he said and kissed your forehead gently.

Unconsciously, Wonwoo raised his fingers to his lips. Was that really your last kiss?

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, running a hand over his face. There was one more thing he had left of you - your voicemails. With a shaky finger he pressed on the last voicemail you sent him, a day before he broke up with you. The second he heard your voice it was like he magically sobered up - his mind was clear as day, and it immediately took him back in time to when the only thing he looked forward to was coming home to you. 

"Hi baby, I know you’re sleeping already, but I just wanted to record a little message, so you have something nice to wake up to. These first few days apart are so hard, I really miss you, especially at night. I got so used to our little bedtime routine that the house feels so quiet and empty without you, like something is missing, you know? You’re going to call me a hypocrite, but you know what else I’m missing right now? The light from your computer when you game late at night and I can’t sleep because of it. Or how I have to beg for you to come to bed for at least two hours, before you finally do. (laugh). I really do miss your bed hair, though. Now with them being so long too, you look so cute. (laugh)."

"But you know, last night, and don’t make fun of me, but I had to put on your hoodie to sleep because I missed your smell, I thought about the first time you left for tour since we got together. I remember how you walked me home after our date because it was late, and you were so adorably awkward. You still are. Anyways, we stood under that lamppost right by my house, and we were talking for a bit, and I remember how sad I was that you had to leave. I know you were too but didn’t want to show it, my strong baby. And then you kissed me. (pause) I will always remember how you kissed me under that lamppost. And how you said “wait for me to come home”. "

"I’ll always wait for you, Wonwoo. No matter what."

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo

[enemiestolovershoe]

Silent Tension

Matt Sturniolo x enemie!reader

Summary: Matt and Y/N were best friends until one argument turned them into enemies. Will they ever find a way back to each other?

Warnings: arguments, fighting, making out, lmk if you find anything else.

Words: 5.2k

The kindergarten days felt like a lifetime ago now. Back then, the four of you were inseparable. Matt, Nick, Chris, and you were a perfectly chaotic little crew, spending recess planning adventures and sticking together against anyone who dared mess with one of you. Matt had been your closest match back then—quick-witted, stubborn, and full of ideas. You thought that bond would never break.

But high school changed everything.

It started small, with arguments over who got shotgun during group rides. Then came the endless bickering about group projects and plans. By sophomore year, the fights had escalated into something sharper, something mean.

“You can’t just do everything yourself,” Matt said one night, frustration thick in his voice.

“It’s not my fault you can’t handle it!” you snapped back, shoving a notebook into your bag after another group study session gone wrong.

Nick, sprawled on the couch with a soda in hand, raised an eyebrow. “Uh-oh. Here we go again.”

“You’re such a control freak,” Matt muttered, crossing his arms.

“And you’re lazy,” you shot back without missing a beat.

Chris, ever the calm one, stepped in. “Alright, that’s enough. Can we focus? This isn’t helping anyone.”

But Matt wasn’t done. “You think you’re better than everyone else because you plan everything to death. Newsflash: it’s annoying.”

“At least I don’t sit around waiting for other people to pick up the slack!”

“Guys, please!” Chris sighed, rubbing his temples. “You’re giving me a headache.”

Nick grinned, throwing a pillow at Matt. “Yeah, cool it, bro. You’re scaring Chris.”

By junior year, the tension had spread beyond school. Group hangouts became a minefield.

One night at the mall, Matt and you ended up in yet another screaming match over something stupid.

“All I’m saying is, we didn’t need to spend an hour waiting for you to pick out a stupid hoodie,” Matt said, throwing up his hands as the group headed back to Nick’s car.

“It wasn’t just about the hoodie, Matt,” you snapped, glaring at him. “Maybe if you weren’t so impatient, we’d actually enjoy going out as a group.”

“Impatient? You’re the one who wasted everyone’s time.”

Nick piped up from the backseat, turning to grin at Chris. “Think we should start selling tickets? This is better than reality TV.”

Chris shot Nick a look. “Not helping.”

“Whatever,” Matt muttered. “Next time, just leave me out of it.”

“Gladly,” you said, slamming the car door behind you.

The ride home was silent, the air thick with unresolved anger.

Then there was the infamous beach trip during senior year. What should’ve been a relaxing day turned into yet another battlefield.

“Can you at least try to help with the setup?” you asked, struggling to hammer an umbrella into the sand while Matt sat under the shade of a nearby tree, scrolling on his phone.

“I’m supervising,” he said with a smirk, not even glancing up.

“You’re useless,” you muttered under your breath, loud enough for him to hear.

“Excuse me?” Matt stood up, his tone sharp.

“You heard me.”

Nick and Chris exchanged a look, already bracing for the explosion.

“Maybe if you weren’t so bossy, people would actually want to help you,” Matt shot back.

“Maybe if you weren’t so lazy, people wouldn’t have to pick up your slack,” you retorted, standing toe-to-toe with him now.

Nick broke the tension with an exaggerated sigh. “Okay, Mom and Dad, can we chill? Some of us are here to, like, enjoy the beach.”

Chris stepped between you two, his voice calm but firm. “Seriously, stop. This is getting old.”

You stormed off, muttering under your breath about how impossible Matt was. He didn’t try to follow.

By the time you were 21, things were worse than ever. Group events had become rare, mostly because no one wanted to deal with the inevitable clash between you and Matt.

At one game night, the tension boiled over again.

“Can you not cheat for once in your life?” Matt snapped as you reached for a card in a particularly heated game of Uno.

“I’m not cheating, you idiot. Maybe if you paid attention, you’d actually win for once.”

Chris sighed from his spot beside you, his patience clearly wearing thin. “It’s a card game. Can we not turn this into World War 3?”

Matt ignored him, leaning forward with a scowl. “You always do this. You can’t handle losing, so you find some way to bend the rules.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Perfect. I forgot you’re the expert on everything.”

Nick laughed, shaking his head. “Man, y’all really need couples therapy.”

“Nick, shut up,” you and Matt said in unison, which only made him laugh harder.

Chris stood up, clearly done. “Okay, game night’s over. You two can keep fighting, but I’m not babysitting anymore.”

As Chris walked out of the room, Nick looked between you and Matt with a smirk. “So, who’s gonna admit they’re in love first?”

You threw a pillow at him. “Nick, I swear—”

Matt scoffed, crossing his arms. “As if.”

“Exactly,” you snapped, glaring at him. “You’d be the last person I’d ever—”

“Good! Glad we’re on the same page,” Matt interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Nick laughed again. “Man, you two are exhausting. But, like, in a fun way.”

Chris peeked back in from the hallway, his calm voice cutting through the chaos. “You’re not fun. You’re a headache. Both of you.”

As the tension settled for the night, you couldn’t help but wonder how it had come to this. Somewhere along the way, the friendship you once had with Matt had turned into a battlefield, and neither of you seemed willing to wave the white flag.

It was a sweltering summer afternoon, the kind that made everyone irritable. You’d come over to hang out with Chris and Nick, hoping to escape the heat and distract yourself from a long week. Matt, as usual, was there too.

From the moment you walked in, you could feel the tension. It was always there with Matt—humming under the surface, waiting for one of you to ignite it.

“Alright, who’s down for a Mario Kart tournament? Loser buys slushies,” Nick said, grabbing controllers from the cabinet.

Chris nodded. “I’m in. But Nick, you’re buying either way.

Nick grinned. “Bold of you to assume.”

You grabbed a controller, feeling a flicker of competitiveness. “Hope you’re ready to lose, Nick.”

Matt, leaning against the counter, crossed his arms. “You should worry about yourself. You’ve never beaten me.”

You rolled your eyes. “There’s a first time for everything.”

The game started off fine—until you accidentally bumped Matt’s character off the track.

“Oh, come on!” Matt exclaimed, leaning forward. “You did that on purpose.”

“It’s called strategy,” you shot back, grinning.

Matt’s scowl deepened as the race continued. When the final lap ended, your character crossed the finish line ahead of his. You threw your hands up triumphantly. “Yes! Finally!”

Matt tossed his controller onto the couch, glaring at you. “You only won because you cheated.”

You blinked, the excitement draining from your face. “How did I cheat?”

“You bumped me off the track,” Matt said, his tone accusatory.

“That’s part of the game, Matt,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

“No, it’s not,” he snapped. “You’re always like this—always cutting corners to get ahead.”

“Cutting corners?” you repeated, standing up. “It’s a stupid game. Maybe if you weren’t such a sore loser, you’d actuallyhave fun.”

“Oh, I’m the sore loser?” Matt said, getting to his feet as well.

Nick, sensing the brewing storm, raised his hands. “Alright, time out. It’s just Mario Kart, guys.”

Chris sighed, already rubbing his temples. “Can we not?”

But the two of you were locked in now.

“You always do this,” Matt said, his voice rising. “You act like you’re better than everyone else, but you’re just as petty as the rest of us.”

Your jaw dropped. “Are you kidding me? You’re the one making a big deal out of this!”

“Oh, because you’re so perfect, right?” Matt shot back, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “You can’t handle being called out, so you turn it around on me.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t so impossible to deal with!”

Chris stood up, his calm demeanor cracking slightly. “Seriously, enough. This isn’t worth fighting over.”

“Stay out of it, Chris,” Matt said, not taking his eyes off you.

Chris frowned but didn’t argue.

“You know what your problem is?” Matt continued, stepping closer. “You’re so controlling. Everything has to be your way, and if it’s not, you freak out.”

“I’m not controlling,” you snapped. “I’m just tired of cleaning up after you all the time!”

Matt scoffed. “Cleaning up after me? You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Nick tried to step in again, his voice light but firm. “Guys, seriously, take a breath. Go outside or something.”

But it was too late. The fight was spiraling.

“Don’t I?” you said, crossing your arms. “You’re lazy, Matt. You never help with anything unless someone forces you to, and then you complain the whole time.”

“Oh, I’m lazy?” Matt shot back, his voice sharp. “At least I don’t bulldoze over everyone like you do. You think you’re so much better because you plan everything to death, but really, you’re just scared of messing up.”

Your chest tightened, his words cutting deeper than you expected. “Wow. Thanks for the insight, Dr. Matt. Maybe if you spent less time tearing me down, you’d actually accomplish something for once.”

Matt’s face darkened. “Tearing you down? You’re the one who’s always on my case. Every little thing I do, you have something to say about it.”

“Because you make it so easy!”

“You know what? I’m done,” Matt said, throwing his hands up. “You’re exhausting. No wonder people can’t stand being around you.”

“Excuse me?” you said, your voice trembling with anger. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Matt didn’t back down. “It means maybe your ex had a point.”

The room went silent.

Chris and Nick both froze, their eyes snapping to Matt in disbelief.

“What did you just say?” you asked, your voice low and unsteady.

Chris stepped forward, his voice firm. “Matt, don’t.”

But Matt ignored him. “Maybe your ex wouldn’t have cheated on you if you weren’t so suffocating.”

Your stomach dropped. Tears pricked your eyes as his words sunk in. “You’re unbelievable.”

Chris immediately stepped in, standing between you and Matt. “That’s enough. You’ve crossed the line.”

Nick’s voice was louder now. “Matt, what the hell is wrong with you?”

But Matt wasn’t done. “I’m just saying what everyone else is too scared to say.”

Your hands shook as you struggled to hold back tears. “You’re such a coward,” you said, your voice breaking. “You can’t handle your own issues, so you take them out on me. Well, congrats, Matt. You finally broke me. Are you happy now?”

Tears streamed down your face as you turned away, unable to look at him anymore.

Chris stepped forward, his calm voice laced with anger. “Go to your room. Now.”

Matt hesitated, glaring at you one last time before storming off, slamming his door behind him.

As soon as he was gone, Chris turned to you, his expression softening. “Hey, come here.”

You let out a shaky breath as he pulled you into a hug.

“Why does he hate me so much?” you whispered, your voice cracking. “What did I do to make him like this?”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Chris said softly, rubbing your back. “He’s just… an idiot.”

Nick grabbed a glass of water and handed it to you. “Yeah, a massive idiot. Like, the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

You tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob. “I can’t keep doing this, Chris. Every time I come here, it’s like he’s waiting to tear me apart.”

Chris pulled back, cupping your face gently so you’d meet his eyes. “Listen to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s just angry—at himself, at whatever—but it’s not about you.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?” you whispered, tears still streaming down your face.

Chris sighed, pulling you back into a hug. “I don’t know. But I’m going to fix it, okay? I promise.”

Nick sat beside you, patting your shoulder. “Yeah, and if he doesn’t apologize, I’ll pants him in public.”

You let out a weak laugh, wiping your eyes. “Thanks, Nick. That’s… oddly comforting.”

Chris stayed by your side, his calm presence steadying you as you tried to piece yourself back together. But no matter how much he reassured you, Matt’s words lingered, cutting deeper than you wanted to admit.

About an hour had passed since the fight, and the tension in the house still hung heavy in the air. You were curled up on the couch with Chris, his arm draped protectively over your shoulder. Nick sat on the floor in front of you, scrolling through his phone and cracking occasional jokes to try and lighten the mood.

You’d stopped crying, but your chest still felt tight, your breathing shallow. Every time you thought about what Matt had said, it was like the wound reopened.

Chris’s hand absentmindedly rubbed your arm. “You good?” he asked quietly.

You nodded, though you didn’t feel entirely okay. “Better. Thanks for… you know, being here.”

“Always,” he said softly.

Nick glanced over his shoulder with a faint grin. “If you need me to distract you, I can pull up Matt’s senior photo. That thing’s a crime against humanity.”

You let out a weak laugh. “Thanks, Nick. I think I’ll pass.”

Just then, footsteps sounded from the stairs. Matt was coming down, his movements hesitant but deliberate.

Your stomach immediately twisted into knots, and you stiffened against Chris.

He noticed immediately. “Relax,” Chris whispered. “You’re safe.”

Nick, sensing the shift, turned to Matt with a warning look. “If you’re coming down to start something again, you can turn right back around and go upstairs.”

Matt shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’m not here to fight.”

You looked at him warily, unsure of what to expect.

“Actually,” Matt continued, his voice quieter than usual, “I wanted to talk to Y/N. Alone.”

You stiffened even more, your breath catching in your throat. “What for? So you can tear me apart again? Bring up my past and rub salt in the wound?” Your voice cracked, still raw from earlier.

Matt winced, his jaw tightening. “No. I’m not here to do that. I… I want to apologize. But I’d rather do it one-on-one.”

Chris’s grip on your shoulder tightened protectively. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” he said, his calm tone carrying a slight edge.

“Yeah,” Nick chimed in, crossing his arms. “She’s been through enough today. Whatever you need to say, you can say it in front of us.”

Matt shook his head. “Look, I get it. I’ve been a total dick, okay? But I need to fix this, and I can’t do that with you two hovering.” He turned to you, his gaze earnest. “Please, Y/N. Just give me five minutes. I promise, no fighting. No bringing up the past.”

You stared at him, your heart pounding. You didn’t trust him—not after everything—but there was something different in his tone. He didn’t sound like the sharp, defensive Matt you’d been clashing with for years. He sounded… vulnerable.

Chris’s voice broke through your thoughts. “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

Nick nodded. “Seriously. You’ve got nothing to prove to him.”

You hesitated, your gaze flicking between Matt and his brothers. Part of you wanted to shut him down, to tell him to leave you alone. But another part—the part that was tired of the constant fighting—wanted to hear him out.

You let out a shaky breath. “What do you want to talk about?”

Matt glanced at the door, then back at you. “We still need to grab those slushies. We can talk on the way there. Neutral ground.”

Chris frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I’m not going to do anything,” Matt said, his voice firm but not aggressive. “I just… need to talk. Please.”

You looked at Chris and Nick, then back at Matt. Against your better judgment, you slowly nodded. “Fine. But if you say anything—anything—like what you said earlier, I’m leaving. Got it?”

Matt nodded immediately. “Got it. No low blows. I swear.”

Chris sighed, his hand lingering on your shoulder as you stood up. “You sure about this?”

“No,” you admitted, your voice still shaky. “But I’ll be fine.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Text me if you need a rescue mission.”

You gave him a faint smile. “I will.”

Matt grabbed his keys and held the door open for you, waiting as you slipped on your shoes. Your anxiety bubbled in your chest as you stepped outside, the warm summer air doing little to ease the tension in your body.

You glanced back at Chris and Nick, who were watching you like hawks from the couch. Chris gave you a small nod, his silent way of telling you that he had your back no matter what.

“Let’s go,” Matt said quietly, leading the way to his car.

As you got in, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to say—and if you’d regret giving him the chance.

You slid into the passenger seat, the car’s interior thick with unspoken tension. Matt climbed into the driver’s seat, closing the door with a quiet click. He rested his hands on the steering wheel but didn’t start the engine. Instead, he leaned back, staring straight ahead, his jaw tightening and loosening as if trying to find the right words.

Finally, he broke the silence.

“I am so fucking sorry, Y/N,” Matt said, his voice low but steady. “I don’t even know where to start. I—I don’t know what got into me earlier, but I regret it. Deeply. More than I can even put into words.”

You turned to look at him, studying his face. There was no trace of his usual anger or smugness. He looked… tired. Defeated.

He let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair. “I was out of line. Way out of line. What I said about your past, about your ex—it was cruel, and it wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve that. Not then, not ever.”

You stayed quiet, unsure of what to say, but he continued.

“The truth is… I’ve been carrying around all this anger for so long. At first, I thought it was because you were always pushing my buttons or calling me out. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s not about you at all. It’s about me. I’ve been projecting my own shit onto you, and that’s not okay.”

His hands tightened on the wheel as he glanced at you briefly, guilt etched into every line of his face. “You’ve been nothing but honest with me, and I’ve thrown that back in your face every chance I got. I don’t even know why. Maybe because it was easier to lash out at you than to deal with my own crap. But that’s not an excuse. I’ve hurt you, over and over again, and I hate myself for it.”

Your chest tightened at his words, the sincerity in his voice catching you off guard.

“I guess… I’ve been jealous of you,” Matt admitted, his voice quieter now. “You’ve always had this way of handling things—like, you’re so driven, so put-together. Even when things fall apart, you don’t let it stop you. And I hated that because it made me feel like a mess in comparison. Like I couldn’t measure up.”

“Matt…” you started, but he held up a hand.

“Please, let me finish,” he said, his voice almost pleading. “I know that doesn’t justify anything. I’ve been a shitty friend. Hell, I haven’t even treated you like a friend. I’ve treated you like someone I could take my frustrations out on, and I’m so, so sorry for that. I’m sorry for all the fights, all the insults, all the times I made you feel like you weren’t enough. Because you are enough, Y/N. More than enough.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you blinked them away, unsure if you were ready to forgive him yet.

Matt turned to face you fully now, his eyes earnest and a little glassy. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m tired of it. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be around me, like you have to walk on eggshells every time we’re in the same room. You’ve always been there for my brothers, for all of us, and I’ve done nothing but push you away. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

He hesitated, swallowing hard before continuing. “I know I’ve got a long way to go to make things right. And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But I’m asking for a chance—a chance to show you that I can be better, that I want to be better. Not just for you, but for myself too.”

You felt your lip tremble as you tried to process everything he’d just said. The rawness of his apology, the vulnerability in his voice—it was so unlike the Matt you’d been clashing with for years.

Matt reached over hesitantly, his hand hovering near yours on the center console. “I mean it, Y/N. Every word. I’m sorry. And if there’s anything I can do to prove it to you, just tell me. I’ll do it.”

For a moment, you sat there in silence, his words hanging heavy in the air. Then, finally, you spoke, your voice soft but steady. “Why didn’t you just tell me all of this before? Instead of… everything else?”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Because I’m an idiot. And because it was easier to pretend it was your fault than to admit I was the one with the problem.”

You looked down at his hand, still hovering near yours, and after a moment of hesitation, you placed yours over it. His fingers curled around yours gently, as if he were afraid to scare you off.

“Matt…” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “I’m not saying everything’s magically okay now. But… I appreciate you saying all of this. I really do.”

A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “That’s all I can ask for.”

You looked down, your thumb brushing over the back of his hand. There was something vulnerable in the air between you two, a tension that was unfamiliar and heavy but not unwelcome. For once, Matt didn’t feel like your enemy. He felt like someone who was finally trying to understand you.

“Can I…” Matt hesitated, his voice unusually soft. “Can I hug you?”

You blinked at him, taken aback by the sudden question. But the sincerity in his eyes made you nod without thinking.

“Yeah,” you murmured.

He exhaled in relief and leaned over, wrapping his arms around you carefully, almost as if he were afraid you might pull away. His embrace was warm, solid, and it took you a moment to relax into it. But when you did, you felt a strange sense of comfort, the kind you hadn’t felt around him in years.

You rested your head against his chest, and his hand came up to gently cradle the back of your head. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, his voice muffled but still so close to your ear.

“I know,” you replied softly.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, wrapped in the quiet, tentative warmth of his arms. It felt like the weight of all those years of tension was melting away, even if only for a moment.

Eventually, you shifted slightly to look up at him, and Matt looked down at you. His expression was open, more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him before. For a brief second, neither of you moved, and the world outside the car seemed to fade away.

You hadn’t realized how close you were until your eyes dropped to his lips. They parted slightly, and his breath hitched. His gaze flicked to your mouth, and suddenly, it felt like the air in the car had grown impossibly heavy.

“Y/N…” he whispered, his voice low and unsure, as if testing the waters.

You didn’t respond—not with words, at least. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart hammering as you both leaned in, hesitantly at first. There was a moment’s pause, so brief it was almost imperceptible, and then your lips met.

The kiss was soft, tender, and filled with a quiet kind of desperation. It wasn’t rushed or messy; it was careful, like neither of you wanted to break whatever fragile thing had just been built between you.

Matt’s hand slipped from your back to your waist, pulling you just a little closer as his lips moved against yours. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you found yourself responding instinctively, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.

The kiss deepened slightly, and Matt tilted his head to the side, his nose brushing against yours. It was intimate in a way that left your heart pounding, your mind spinning.

Without breaking the kiss, Matt reached down and adjusted the seat lever, pulling it back to give you more room. His hands settled on your waist, gently guiding you over the center console and into his lap.

You let out a soft gasp against his lips as you straddled him, your knees pressing into the seat on either side of him. His hands stayed firm on your hips, grounding you as his lips continued to move against yours, slow but deliberate.

It was new, unfamiliar, and completely overwhelming—but it didn’t feel wrong. For once, it felt like the two of you weren’t at war. You weren’t fighting or tearing each other down. You were just… there, together, in a moment that felt like it belonged to no one else but you.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been kissing Matt, but it felt like time had stopped. The warmth of his hands on your waist anchored you, and the way his lips moved against yours felt so natural, so unlike anything you’d ever expected from him.

Between kisses, Matt pulled back just slightly, his forehead resting against yours. “Y/N…” he murmured, his voice a little breathless. “I don’t think I’ve ever…” He trailed off, a rare flush creeping up his neck.

You blinked at him, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. “You’ve never what?”

He let out a quiet laugh, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. “I’ve never thought this would happen. Us. Like this. And… I kind of hate myself for waiting so long.”

His honesty left you momentarily stunned. This was Matt—your rival, the person who could always get under your skin. And yet, sitting here, holding you like you were the most fragile thing in the world, he wasn’t that Matt at all.

“Well, it’s happening now,” you said softly, a small smile playing on your lips. “And I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you completely, but… this feels different. You feel different.”

“I am,” he promised, his thumb grazing your cheek. “I swear, I am.”

You leaned back into the kiss, this time with less hesitation and more certainty. His hands tightened on your hips, pulling you closer as the tension melted into something softer, more electric.

“Y/N,” he whispered against your lips between kisses. “I don’t want this to stop. But… if you want me to slow down, justsay the word.”

You shook your head slightly, brushing your nose against his. “I don’t want you to stop.”

His lips curved into a faint smile before they captured yours again. It wasn’t rushed or chaotic; it was patient, deliberate like he wanted to savor every second.

But just as you started to lose yourself in the moment, there was a sharp knock on the passenger-side window.

You froze, your eyes widening in panic as you turned to see Nick and Chris standing outside the car, smirking like they’d just won the lottery.

Matt groaned, letting his head fall back against the headrest. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, his hands reluctantly dropping from your waist.

“Guess we’re busted,” you whispered, unable to stop the embarrassed smile that tugged at your lips.

Sliding off Matt’s lap, you scrambled back into the passenger seat, smoothing out your shirt and running a hand through your hair. Matt rubbed the back of his neck, looking equally flustered but unable to hide the amused smirk tugging at his lips.

Rolling down the window, you were met with Nick and Chris’s grinning faces.

“We just wanted to make sure you didn’t kill each other,” Chris said, barely holding back laughter. “We didn’t see the car drive away, so, you know, better safe than sorry.”

Nick leaned down, his grin absolutely wicked. “But clearly, you two found a different way to sort things out.”

“Real mature, Nick,” you shot back, though your cheeks were burning.

Matt leaned over the console, his arm casually draped across the back of your seat as he looked at his brothers. “Do you guys not have better things to do than stalk me?”

“Stalk you?” Nick gasped in mock offense. “We were concerned. Imagine our relief when we came out here and saw you weren’t choking each other—though, to be fair, this is definitely the opposite of what we expected.”

Chris snickered. “Honestly, I’m just shocked Y/N didn’t punch you in the face. Progress, I guess.”

You glanced at Matt, and to your surprise, he was smiling—not the smug, teasing smile you were used to, but a genuine one that softened his whole face.

“You know,” Matt said, his voice calm, “for once, I’m kind of glad you two interrupted. Otherwise, we might’ve stayed in here all night.”

Your jaw dropped slightly, and you smacked his arm playfully. “Matt!”

“What?” he said, feigning innocence as he held up his hands. “Just being honest.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Well, as much as I hate to break up this little love fest, are you guys still getting the slushies? Or were you planning to sit here making out until the sun comes up?”

You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “I can’t deal with you two.”

“Hey, you chose this life,” Nick quipped, winking.

Matt laughed, and to your surprise, the sound was lighthearted, even happy. He reached for the keys and started the car, shooting a glance at his brothers. “Don’t wait up.”

“Oh, we’re definitely waiting up,” Chris said with a grin. “This is going straight into the group chat.”

“Nick,” you groaned, giving him a pointed look, “if you just type one word—”

“I make no promises,” Nick interrupted, stepping back from the car as Matt began reversing out of the garage.

As you drove away, you couldn’t help but glance at Matt, your chest still fluttering from everything that had just happened. He caught your gaze and smiled, his hand resting on the console between you.

“Still okay?” he asked softly, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

And for the first time in years, you actually meant it.

[sammonroesangel]

Author's Note: AHHHH! I can't believe I'm releasing my first ever fic/headcannon/idk. This isn't the greatest, I kind of wrote it in a short time frame, BUT I hope you guys enjoy it! 🥹

You had been feeling sick for a few days now- massive headaches, exhaustion that left you wanting to nap every hour, and food aversions, especially to Hayden’s famous blueberry pie (which you used to love). So, like any normal woman whose sex life consisted of making love at like 5 times a week (mainly unprotected recently), you decided to order a few pregnancy tests on Amazon. You told Hayden right away because, let’s be honest, he was the practical one in this situation. He suggested ordering the tests online to avoid awkward run-ins with nosy neighbors or paparazzi. Living on a secluded farm had its perks, but shipping times weren’t one of them. It took a week for the tests to arrive, during which your suspicions grew stronger thanks to the morning sickness that hit you like clockwork every day. When the package finally arrived, he trudged through the fresh snow, retrieved it, and brought it straight to you. "Here you go, sweetheart," he said with a soft smile, though you could tell he was holding back his own nervous excitement. You grabbed a test and ran to the bathroom. Hayden paced outside the door, trying to play it cool but failing miserably. When the result showed positive, you walked out, teary-eyed and smiling, and showed him the test. His face lit up as he hugged you tightly, kissing your forehead. "We're having a baby," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. From that moment on, he was completely in dad mode.

================================================

Pregnancy brought out a whole new side of Hayden. He flat-out banned you from cooking. "You’re growing a whole human. The least I can do is handle dinner," he’d say, gently nudging you away from the kitchen. And it wasn’t just meals—Hayden insisted on taking over most of the chores, leaving you to rest and focus on the baby.

When it came to cravings, Hayden was an absolute champion. Wake up at 2 AM wanting cheese pizza and chocolate-covered pickles? No problem—he was on it without a second thought, even if it meant a midnight run into town. If you craved something else while he was already making dinner, he’d simply adjust. "Don't worry about it," he’d say, kissing your temple. "I’ll save this for later and make whatever you want."

================================================

Hayden quickly learned that pregnancy mood swings were no joke. One minute, you’d be laughing at something silly he said, and the next, you’d be crying because he was burnt to a fucking crisp in a movie he was in 20 years ago. One evening, you were in the kitchen crying over a broken cookie. “It was perfect,” you sniffled, holding up the two halves like they were shattered glass. Hayden walked in, took one look at the situation, and gently plucked the cookie from your hands.

“Sweetheart, it’s still going to taste the same,” he said softly, taking a bite and offering you the other half. You glared at him through your tears but took the piece anyway, pouting.

“It’s not about the cookie,” you mumbled, and he nodded, letting you vent about how everything felt overwhelming lately. He didn’t try to fix it; he just listened, rubbing soothing circles on your back until you calmed down.

Another time, you got unreasonably mad at him for finishing the last of the orange juice, even though he didn’t realize you wanted it. “You’re supposed to know these things!” you exclaimed, crossing your arms. Instead of arguing, Hayden raised his hands in surrender. “You’re right. I should’ve asked before drinking it. I’ll go get more right now.”

You felt guilty the moment the words left your mouth and tried to stop him, but Hayden just kissed your forehead. “It’s okay. I’ll be back in ten minutes,” he said, grabbing his coat. True to his word, he returned with not one but three cartons of orange juice. “Just in case,” he teased, earning a laugh from you despite yourself. Hayden also became an expert at reading your moods. If you seemed cranky, he’d quietly bring you a snack or run you a bath. If you were teary-eyed, he’d snuggle up with you on the couch and let you cry into his chest while he stroked your hair. He never made you feel bad for the rollercoaster of emotions—you were carrying his baby, after all.

“Your body’s doing something incredible,” he told you one night after a particularly emotional day. “I’ll take a few mood swings over what you’re going through any day.”

================================================As your pregnancy progressed and your body continued to change, it wasn’t always easy to feel confident. There were moments when you’d catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and struggle to recognize the reflection staring back. The swollen ankles, the stretch marks, the way your clothes no longer fit quite right—it all felt overwhelming at times.

One evening, after a long day, you stood in front of the bathroom mirror, examining the curve of your belly and the way your favorite dress stretched tightly across your body. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as the insecurities crept in. Hayden found you like that, staring silently at your reflection, and he instantly knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” he said softly, stepping into the room. “What’s going on?”

You hesitated, trying to brush it off, but the lump in your throat made it hard to speak. Finally, you mumbled, “I just… I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel huge and uncomfortable, and I don’t even look good in anything anymore.”

Hayden’s expression softened as he moved closer, wrapping his arms gently around you from behind. He rested his chin on your shoulder, looking at your reflection in the mirror with you. “Sweetheart, you’re growing our baby,” he said, his voice full of awe and love. “You’re doing something so amazing, and I wish you could see how beautiful you are to me.”

You sniffled, leaning into his embrace. “I don’t feel beautiful.”

He turned you around to face him, cupping your cheeks in his hands. “Then let me remind you,” he said firmly but lovingly. “I see the woman I fell in love with, the one who’s giving me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. Your body is changing because it’s creating a little life—a life we made together. That’s incredible.”

He kissed your forehead, then each cheek, and finally your lips, as if sealing his words with his touch. “I know it’s hard to see it right now, but you’re absolutely breathtaking to me. Every curve, every stretch mark, every little change—it’s all a part of this journey, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

His words melted some of your self-doubt, and you found yourself smiling softly. “You always know what to say,” you whispered, resting your hands on his chest.

“That’s because I mean every word,” he replied, pulling you closer. “And if you ever feel this way again, you just come to me, okay? I’ll remind you as many times as you need.”

That night, as you lay in bed, Hayden pulled you close, wrapping his arms protectively around you. His hand rested gently on your belly, where your baby was nestled safe and sound. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your back was calming, grounding you in his love and reassurance.

“I love you,” he murmured into your hair. “I love everything about you—your strength, your heart, your laugh, and yes, even the way you’ve been stealing my pillows lately.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, your insecurities slowly melting away in the warmth of his embrace. “It’s not stealing if I need them,” you teased, feeling lighter than you had in days.

“Fair point,” he chuckled. “Anything you need, you can have. Always.”

As he continued to hold you, Hayden started humming a soft melody—one you recognized as a song he often played on the piano. The sound wrapped around you like a blanket, soothing and full of love. You smiled, closing your eyes, feeling a tiny flutter from your belly as if the baby wanted to join in.

“See?” Hayden whispered, his voice filled with awe. “Even they know how amazing you are.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, but this time they weren’t from sadness. They were tears of gratitude, of love, of feeling completely cherished by the man who was not only your partner but your greatest source of strength.

In that moment, you realized something important: no matter how much your body changed, no matter how many ups and downs you faced during this journey, you had Hayden by your side—your anchor, your cheerleader, and the person who would always remind you just how much you were loved.

As sleep began to take over, you whispered back, “I love you, too. More than anything.”

And with that, surrounded by Hayden’s love and the gentle promise of the life you were building together, you drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the beautiful family waiting for you both just around the corner.

THE END

================================================OH MY GODDD AHHH YOU MADE IT TO THE END!

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Erin/Julius; cosmic vertigo

For the prompt: More Erin and Julius understanding each other on a deep level

“Have you ever thought about the universe?” Julius says.

“I get a headache whenever I do, so I mostly try to avoid it,” Erin says, then, feeling Julius’ eyes on her, “Yeah, I guess. You’ve got to narrow it down a little from ‘literally everything in existence’ for me to figure out what you're getting at, though.”

“How things — change, I guess,” Julius says. “How if something went just a little differently, your life could be completely different too.”

“So like alternate universes,” Erin says, relieved. That’s much less likely to give her a headache. Not unlikely, but thinking about what, exactly, exists past forever? What a constantly expanding universe is expanding into? The last time Erin let herself think about it too long she ended up with a migraine. Possibly a coincidence, but she’s not risking it. That thing lasted two days.

“Yes,” Julius says. “If I was drafted one pick higher, or lower, I would never have come to Edmonton.”

“And you wouldn’t have met Jared, and therefore me, and neither of us would be lying in this bed right now talking about the universe,” Erin says. “Something like that?”

“Something like that,” Julius echoes, then gazes at her for a long moment, not speaking.

“Stop measuring how good a consolation prize I am,” Erin says. Doesn’t matter how great he thinks she is: nobody’s great enough to make up for the pain and suffering of playing for the Edmonton Oilers.

Julius’ mouth quirks, like she’s said it out loud.

“You’re alright,” he says.

“Thanks,” Erin says. “I do my best.”

“Worth coming here,” Julius says.

“Let’s not get too crazy here,” Erin says.

Under the covers, Julius finds where she’s laced her hands on her stomach and prises the nearest away so he can lace his own fingers through it, that hand thief. She likes to sleep like she’s in a coffin and he knows that. Still, she supposes she can lend it to him for a little while.

“Feeling philosophical tonight, are we?” Erin asks.

She doesn’t have to ask why: he’s going back to Finland in two days. Only for a month, before he flies back to Alberta to train with Jared and his buds in Calgary. She doesn’t have to ask why for that either. Dude isn’t going to train in a city he’s never even lived in, a city that hates his guts, just because he misses her brother, though she’s sure Jared would argue otherwise. She won’t make him say it.

“I can come,” Erin says. “If you want me to. I can come.”

Julius blows out a breath. “Next time,” he says.

“Sure,” Erin says. “It’s not — it doesn’t expire or anything. Standing offer. I mean, unless I have something else going on. Then you’re shit out of luck.”

“I will make sure your schedule is clear,” Julius says.

“Thanks,” Erin says. “Thoughtful of you.”

“Would you like your hand back?” Julius says. Erin doesn’t think she’s imagining the reluctance. A month’s not really a long time if the universe is your scale, but if it isn’t, well. It’s long enough.

“That’s okay,” Erin says. “You can have it a bit longer.”

*

So the thing is, when Erin told Julius she’d go to Finland with him, well — it isn’t that she didn’t mean it, because she did, it’s just that she sort of figured that at some point between her saying that and him taking her up on it, she might just spontaneously get past her fear of flying.

Except, fear is such a strong word, isn’t it? She’s fine. She’s been on planes without dying. She even hopped on a plane to see the Canucks host the Oilers — would someone with a lifelong fear of planes do that?

And yeah, sure, it was only ninety minutes, and by the time she quit telling herself that they probably weren't all going to die — but if they did, they better not fuck up and identify her as Bryce’s girlfriend in all the death announcements — they’d pretty much already begun the descent.

Then, once she was done a new recital of how they probably weren't to die — at least they’d better not, because Bryce would feel so guilty about inviting her — they were taxiing to the gate.

And while, like, statistically, that was one of the most dangerous times, like how parking lots and the kilometre around your house are the places you’re most likely to get into an accident, it’s hard to work up the same panic when you’re like, twenty feet in the air instead of twenty thousand.

The flight back wasn’t too bad either, and by the end of the trip, she thought she might have even gotten over that whole fear of flying thing.

She was incorrect.

The thing is, she actually did okay on the flight to Toronto. It helped that it was first thing in the morning, and apparently sleepiness beats out panic, a fact she’s going to be taking advantage of in the future. She genuinely thought she'd reached the other side of it, but the flight to Amsterdam has quickly proven her wrong.

Planes aren’t supposed to shake. And dip! She swears they started to drop out of the sky at one point. Julius said that it was a normal amount of turbulence, but frankly, no turbulence is normal, is it? Sure, it can be a typical amount of turbulence, but normal? They’re in a metal tube in the sky, being thrown around by wind. Erin does not consider any of that to be normal.

“You didn’t tell me you don’t like flying,” Julius says, so quietly Erin can hardly hear him over the almost deafening plane sound nobody else seems to be bothered by. Erin thinks that’s pretty big of him, considering she’s had his hand in a death grip since the turbulence began, and she hasn’t relinquished it even now that it’s finally stopped. In his shoes, she’d probably be going with ‘you know these hands make millions, right?’.

Money that means she’s flying in comfort, if not…comfort. For some reason, Erin thought it’d be easier to deal with things in business class. She doesn’t know why — in a plane crash, the front of the plane is the least likely to survive. But hey, at least Erin got free champagne.

The champagne didn’t help. She hadn’t really thought it would, but she’d been hoping.

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d say I don’t like it,” Erin says. It comes out in a voice she's never heard in her entire life, so perky it’s almost shrill.

“Something stronger?” Julius asks, looking about as disturbed by Stepford Erin as she is. She doesn’t know if he’s talking about the word she’d use or the next drink she should have, but either way the answer's probably yes.

“Do you want your hand back?” Erin asks. It’s not so much an offer as a genuine question, because she’s not sure her hand will unclench for long enough to release it, and she’d probably grab it again the next time the plane started rocking, though maybe she can figure something else out. Grab his thigh or something. It also makes him millions, but it can probably hold up to the abuse a little better.

“You can have it the entire flight if you need,” Julius says. “And for the others.”

Erin’s really, really been trying not to think about the fact there are more flights after this one. Plural.

“Might make it hard to eat,” Erin says. He has the window seat — no fucking way she wants to see just how high up they are, even though she already intellectually knows it — and she’s had custody of his right hand since take off.

“I can figure it out,” Julius says, stroking his thumb over her knuckles. It isn’t quite relaxing — nothing is, right now, not with that damn plane noise — but it’s, you know, not not relaxing, which makes it better than pretty much everything in the world at the moment. It makes Erin’s eyes prickle.

“I know it’s irrational,” Erin says. “I’m well aware of all the statistics, and that it’s safer than basically every kind of transportation. I know. It’s ridiculous. I'm being ridiculous.”

“We can drive,” Julius says. “When we get to Helsinki. We can drive instead. Or take the train.”

Erin tips her head back, trying to keep the tears from spilling. That still leaves Amsterdam to Helsinki, but one flight is better than two. “How long a drive is it?” Erin says.

“Does it matter?” Julius asks.

Erin shakes her head, and when they fall, she swipes at them with her free hand.

“We can drive,” Julius says, thumb tracing back and forth, and Erin focuses on it, the slow sweep of his skin against hers, until the flight attendant comes, asking if they’d like something to drink.

“Champagne,” Erin says. “Please.”

“Two,” Julius says, even though he didn’t even finish his first. “Please.”

“What are we celebrating?” the flight attendant chirps, and Erin stares up at her, unable to muster even a weak smile. Beside her, Julius must be pulling out the ‘dumb fucking question’ face he gives reporters, because the flight attendant says, bright and fake as Stepford Erin, “Two glasses of champagne,” then hurries on to the next seats.

“People,” Julius murmurs, and Erin slides down, twisting in her seat until she can put her head on his shoulder. Probably makes it harder than she needs to, since she refuses to give up Julius’ hand the entire time, but he doesn’t complain, just keeps up the slow sweep of his thumb, and when she finally makes herself comfortable — or, as comfortable as she can, considering the circumstances — he kisses her hair.

“Sorry about stealing your hand,” Erin says. She really hopes he doesn’t think it’s an offer to give it back, because he’ll be disappointed.

“That’s okay,” Julius says. “I don’t need it for my job or anything.”

Erin decides to hold on a little tighter, just for that.

[jewbeloved]

How would the guys confess to you on Valentine's Day 💌

Note: This is 3 days late I know, I was on a writers block and I was having a fever and I kept throwing up in the progress while my stomach hurted and I missed a day to go to school on Wednesday to do my test because of that. And now I got a massive headache, everything is just spinning at once I can't take it anymore. 😭

Warnings: Absolutely none.

Characters used: The main boys.

Gender: Neutral

💙 Stan Marsh 💠

Man wants to confess to you on Valentine's Day, he literally be eyeing his calendar and keeping track of the days leading up to Valentine's Day.

But when the day actually comes?

Oh sh!t, he's already in a panic. He doesn't know what to give to you or how to even approach you in general to confess.

He went to Kyle for advice and even practicing his confession for you with him. He knows Valentine's Day can be a really special day for your friends and s/os.

He doesn't want to mess up or make things awkward by vomiting all over you like how he did when he was with Wendy :(

He probably might go with basic presents such as: chocolate, teddy bear, etc.

He will confess to you behind the school just in case his confession goes up in flames and he doesn't want other people to see.

"Uhm, Hi..(Name)...I know it's Valentine's Day and all....and I was just wondering if you wanted to be my valentine...". 💙💙💙💙💙💙

💚 Kyle Broflovski ☘️

Jews aren't supposed to have valentines-

Just kidding.

But seriously though every time this boy has a love interest it always ends up in a complete dumpster fire for him. (Not Cartman being the man cause for it anyways).

You and him have been good friends for a good couple of months and Valentine's Day has finally arrived.

This is his moment to shine and he won't let anyone ruin it for him, not even the fatass-.

He already got a big 4ft sized teddy bear with a heart box that has your favorite candy or sweet inside it. He also got you both matching outfits to wear if you accept his confession.

He probably might want to confess to you in the park near a big tree. (Yeah, classic romance confessions)

Please accept this boy's confession, it will literally make him the happiest jew in south park.

"Hi (Name)! I hope nobody else has confessed to you...or maybe they have. But I just wanted to ask you if you could be my valentine for this holiday".

❤️ Eric Cartman 🔥

Cartman is mysteriously preping for something and not being an ass as his usual routine?

I wonder what's on his mind.........probably you.

He obviously doesn't know what to get you for Valentine's Day and he probably doesn't care so he will just get whatever he feels you might like. He forced his mom to buy the presents though! :3

He probably wants to confess to you because you're the only person besides his mom who puts with his psychotic behavior and rude nature.

And probably because you don't make fun of him for being fat😭

The confession will be in his room because he doesn't want the guys ripping on him for having a soft spot for you.

He will confess in the mostly lazily and cheesy way in the first half before actually being honest with his confession.

"So it's Valentine's Day huh? This makes me feel like I am gay if I was doing this for the guys, but since it's just only you (Name), I don't mind it. As anyone would tell their s/o, will you be my valentine?".

🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🧸

He's poor asf how do you think he can afford even a gift for you?

He feels so sad at the times you give him something and he can't gift you anything in return due to him being the poorest kid in south park.

So instead of buying something, he tries to make a homemade gift for you with whatever he can find (He cleans the material he's using if he finds something useful out of the trash).

Definitely sneaked around alleyways and stole some spare changes from homeless guys so he can use it to at least get you a candy or snack he can afford.

Same as Kyle, he will confess to you in the park while bringing the homemade gifts and snacks he got you.

He wanted this confession to be special like the holiday itself so he took a bath in the river (without soap) and fixed up in his hair a little, not a lot though.

He decided to wear his Princess Kenny outfit afterwards.

"Mmmmm...mmmphmmmmhmmphmmmmmmmmhmmp!" (Im sorry Name...I know this isn't much since I'm poor and I can't gift the same amount you do for me and my family, but it's the least I could to repay my gratitude! Will you be my valentine?).

A new banner for my new south park Masterlist that I will be making soon.

[hwashotcheeto]

𝑩𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 (1)

Best Friend's Mother Masterlist

Chapter: One

Milf!Park Seonghwa X gn!reader

Summary: You finally meet Wooyoung's father, and he isn't who you were expecting at all.

WC: 3.3k

CW: Mostly more plot/character development, but suggestive at the end (teasing, flirting). Wooyoung is a brat (no one is surprised), Seonghwa uses pet names on the reader (darling, dear, (little) doll)

AN: Ahhh, here we go, first official chapter! There's no smut just yet BUT the next chapter will be, promise! I hope you enjoy!

Tag List: @hyunjinsjeans

You let out a huge sigh of relief as you submitted your final assignment for the semester. You flopped back onto your bed and laughed in relief, feeling your pulsing headache beginning to ebb away. 

The last day of the semester came way faster than you were prepared for. And you weren’t nearly as stressed as your normally would’ve been. 

Maybe because tonight, you and Wooyoung were leaving to go visit his dad. 

Wooyoung told you the next day after you asked that his father responded with an “enthusiastic yes,” and couldn’t wait to meet you. The last week of the semester flew by after that, and now you were here. 

You checked your phone, and you had thirty minutes before you had to meet up with Wooyoung before you started the drive back to his dad’s house. Thankfully, you’d packed most of your things the night before, so you spent your time double and triple checking everything, and collecting everything else you might need. 

And before you knew it, Wooyoung was texting you. 

Heyyyyy

I’m parked outside your dorm, I finished early

Did that essay kill you? 

Come onnnnn, we gotta go sooooooon

You ignored his texts until you were leaving the dorm. You got outside with your bags, being met with the early Winter weather. Cold air, a little bit of snow on the ground. Par for the course for northern November weather. 

Wooyoung got out of the car and helped you with your bags. “Did you bring your whole closet?” He asked as he put them into his trunk. 

“I had to, this is all I have.” 

“Oh, right. Well, you can borrow some of mine if you run out while we’re there.” 

You were going to be with Wooyoung and his dad, and maybe other family, until classes started again in January. A whole month away really was a small vacation, and you were ecstatic to be away from this building with your best friend. 

“Thanks, Wooyoung,” you said softly, hoping you wouldn’t have to bother him with borrowing his clothes. He smiled and motioned for you two to get in the car. 

And then you were off. It wasn’t a long trip, about a forty minute drive, but it felt way shorter to you. You were both incredibly relieved to be away from school, but also incredibly excited for what this Winter Break would hold. 

Your heart was pounding as Wooyoung entered his home town. He hadn’t told you much about where he grew up or where his dad lived, so when Wooyoung drove into a rich suburban neighborhood and pulled into the driveway of an extravagant house you were floored. 

The house was a minimalist, modern aesthetic. The colors were sharp and contrasted starkly, the windows were clear and clean, there wasn’t a speck of dirt anywhere.

“You didn’t tell me your dad was loaded,” you joked as Wooyoung turned off the car. But when you looked at him, he was nervous. You couldn’t really fathom why Wooyoung was nervous to be home, unless he himself didn’t want to see his father. 

But if Wooyoung didn’t want to see him, why did he bring you along? It didn’t make sense. 

“I need to tell you something about my dad before we go inside,” he started, looking down at his hands in his lap, fidgeting with them. You couldn’t help the numerous ridiculous thoughts that filled your head, trying to predict whatever Wooyoung was about to say. 

“My dad…” He was already hesitating and trailing off. Warning bells were going off inside your head. Wooyoung thought for a long while, before you could see him mentally make the decision to just rip the bandaid off. “My dad isn’t a masculine man. He prefers to dress like a woman.” 

And you sat stunned for a few seconds as to why your best friend thought this would be an issue for you. 

“Wooyoung, I’m sorry, but do you know me?” You asked. He looked up at you, and along with nervousness, guilt started creeping into his eyes. “I don’t care how your dad wants to dress or act, as long as he’s not an asshole.” 

You saw Wooyoung’s whole body relax, melting back into the car seat. He laughed softly. “Yeah, I don’t know why I was so nervous. I just didn’t want you to be surprised when we went inside to see him.” 

You nodded, and smiled encouragingly. He smiled back, and you both went to get out of the car. 

As you two were grabbing your respective bags, Wooyoung said “ah,” remembering something. “By the way, he prefers being called ‘mom’.”

“Are you sure your dad doesn’t have something to confess?” You said, half joking. Wooyoung laughed and shook his head. 

“No, no, it’s not like that. Believe me, I asked a couple years ago. He likes being a man, he just also likes looking feminine.” 

And then the nervous excitement bubbled up inside you as you both walked up the driveway, then the sidewalk, then the stairs to the front door. You could feel the mix of emotions clawing at your body from the inside out as Wooyoung struggled to grab the correct key. 

The excitement of meeting your best friend’s dad, along with the nervousness of wanting to impress him was making your stomach churn. But not in a way where you felt sick, your body just didn’t know how to calm down from everything. 

Wooyoung finally got the key out and unlocked the door. Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest and run away. 

You walked inside and were greeted to the inside of the house reflecting the outside. Modern, stark, clean, but with tasteful decorations scattered throughout. Some paintings, statues, plants, decorative lights. 

But all of that was second to the gorgeous man in front of you. 

Wooyoung’s father-or, mother, as he preferred-was sitting on a large, plush couch to the left of the door, watching a movie. He looked over the couch and smiled at the two of you. You forgot to smile back, because you were staring in awe of how someone could be this beautiful. 

You didn’t hear what he was saying as he stood up to greet you two, because you got a full view of him and all the air left you. 

He was wearing a long sleeved sparkly sweater dress that stretched down to his knees, with sheer tights underneath. His black hair was fluffy and fell freely around his perfect face, reaching down to his jawline. 

Oh, his eyes and smile made your knees weak. You could feel nervous tremors run up and down your thighs. 

What might’ve surprised you the most was his hourglass figure. He had tits, hips, and a tiny waist. 

Oh, what a Winter Break this was about to be. 

“Hey!” Wooyoung called, and you suddenly remembered you weren’t in a dream. Both men were looking at you, Wooyoung slightly annoyed, and his mother amused. “Eomma, this is my friend. This is my mom, Seonghwa.” 

“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Seonghwa said, holding out his hand. You took his hand and tried to give the best handshake you could. His grip was firm, but delicate. Your eyes flicked down to look at his hands, and to your surprise, even his hands were feminine. 

“Thank you, it’s good to meet you too,” you babbled out, struggling to make sure your voice didn’t waver. Seonghwa smiled warmly as he pulled back, and he turned to Wooyoung to hug him tightly. Wooyoung struggled to return the hug with his bags on his arms, but he still managed to make it work. 

“Did you go out?” Wooyoung asked Seonghwa as he pulled back, looking over his mother’s outfit. “You’re all dressed up.” 

“No, but my son and his friend visiting me is reason enough to dress up.” 

You swear you could feel your head starting to get light. Wooyoung glanced at you, then back at his mother. 

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go unpack.” Wooyoung looked at you before continuing. “There’s a guest room close to mine, I’ll show you.” You nodded, and you two started for the stairs. 

“Don’t be too long!” Seonghwa called, “Dinner will be ready soon!” 

You felt your heart stutter at the mention of a home cooked meal for the first time since you couldn’t remember when. 

Wooyoung brought you down the hallway, turned to the right, and stopped at the end. “This room on the far end is the master room. Belongs to my mom, obviously.” Wooyoung waved his arms around to express his point, then motioned to the door on the left side of the hall, the one he was in front of. “This one is the guest room, and the one on the other side by the corner is mine.” He pointed to the door all the way down the hall. 

You nodded, your eyes betraying you and drifting to Seonghwa’s bedroom door. The forbidden room, your brain was telling you. You had no reason to go in there, but the idea of going beyond it- 

“Okay, dude, I can see that you were checking out my mom, okay?” Wooyoung blurts, making you whip your head back to him. You’d hoped you didn’t look as obvious as you felt, and your worst fear came true. 

If Wooyoung saw it, so did Seonghwa, and the mortification slowly took over your body as you felt your face burn hot. 

Your first instinct was to apologize, but you stopped yourself. All possible words left you, and you just stared at Wooyoung with fear and embarrassment all over your face. Wooyoung sighed and shook his head. 

“We’ll talk about this later, go unpack your stuff. Wait until I come get you.” And with that, he walked off to his room and disappeared into it. 

You didn’t even get to appreciate the gorgeous room you got to stay in, because you were too consumed with guilt to properly look over it. It was large, lavish, and comfortable, but you felt awful as you started unpacking. 

You were drooling all over your best friend’s mom the second you walked in the door. You couldn’t help yourself from feeling awful the entire time you put your luggage away. 

You jumped a whole foot in the air when you heard a knock on the door. The door creaked open and Wooyoung peeked inside. You were just finishing up as he came into the room, and you felt simultaneous relief and dread. 

Before you could stop it, words began tumbling out of your mouth. “Look Woo, I’m sorry, I know it was insanely disrespectful of me to act that way in front of your mom, I should’ve acted better and I-” 

“Woah, slow down,” Wooyoung said, holding his hands up. You stopped and swallowed back the rest of the words you thought of saying. You realized then that Wooyoung didn’t look upset anymore. In fact, he looked resigned. “I’m not mad. I think I was just protective.” He looked away for a second before he looked back at you. “I didn’t want you to think of my mom as some kind of porn character.”

“No, never!” You immediately blurted. 

“I know you’re not like that, and I’m sorry I snapped at you.” You could see in Wooyoung’s eyes, he felt remorseful. You found it a little weird, because he was justified in being upset. “People have done it in the past, he thinks he found a partner, and it turns out they liked the idea of having him as a personal porn star object, nothing more.”

The fact that such a revelation didn’t surprise you made you doubly upset. 

“So, I guess, what I’m saying is,” he started, and then sighed again. “I mean, if you fuck, just don’t tell me about it.” 

The bluntness of his request makes you choke, and you can feel your face instantly burn hot. Wooyoung finally breaks and laughs, and his laugh makes you laugh. 

You really were lucky to have an amazing friend. Not because he just gave you permission to fuck his mom, but that you could have proper conversations about issues and settle them like the adults you were. 

Then again, you both clearly still acted like teenagers, but it was like a wise man once said: There’s a time and place for everything. 

The three of you were sitting around the small dining table in the kitchen, enjoying the dinner Seonghwa had made for you all. Despite saying that it was a “small” table, there was still tons of space left over. You could fit much more food and people at this “small” dining table with how much space there was. 

The food was delicious. Half because Seonghwa was clearly a skilled cook, and half because you hadn’t eaten anything made with love in so long. The fact that it was made with love and care put into it made it taste stellar. 

“So,” Seonghwa started, looking over at you. “Why are you spending your break with us?” 

You expected this question. You’d rehearsed it a million times over. 

“I don’t talk to my parents, and the rest of my family already has plans this year.” It was the truth, but it didn’t give away too much information. Seonghwa gave you a sympathetic look with a slight pout. He must’ve realized you didn’t wanna talk about it more than that, because he didn’t push for you to explain more. 

“Well, I’m happy to have you.” You smiled and said a soft “thank you” before taking another bite of food. “You’re welcome.” 

You expected Wooyoung to be rolling his eyes with every look you gave Seonghwa, and to be annoyed with how permanently flushed your cheeks were. But to your surprise, he was giving you little smirks the entire meal, and giggling silently when your voice wavered as you spoke to Seonghwa. 

It’s like you two never really grew up. Two little kids giggling at each other from across the table, almost reminiscent of teasing your friends about their crush at lunch time. 

The big difference here is that your fucking crush is your best friend’s mom. 

And yet despite how obvious you two must’ve been, Seonghwa never commented on anything you two did. It was as if he hadn’t noticed a thing. 

You survived the rest of dinner, with light talk about how you and Wooyoung met, how school was going, your major, and more about you as a person. 

Seonghwa began to clean up when you all were done eating, but you grabbed your dishes and brought them to the sink. 

“What are you doing?” Seonghwa asked as you began to rinse off your utensils. He looked genuinely stunned, and you couldn’t understand why. 

“Cleaning?” 

“You don’t have to do that.” Seonghwa took the dishes from you. Not forcefully, but gently removing them from your hands. “I know, it’s polite to help, but I don’t mind cleaning. I actually like it.” 

“But you cooked. It’s the least I can do,” you argued. Seonghwa looked at you for a moment, then smiled. You felt your stomach flip over, and smiled back to cover it up. 

“Thank you, dear. That’s sweet of you.” 

The name shouldn’t have made you as flustered as it did. 

You spent the next few hours with Wooyoung and Seonghwa, continuing to talk, having some movies as background noise. As you sat with them, you observed their dynamic, and learned more about both of them in the process. 

Your irrational theories about Wooyoung being averse to Seonghwa couldn’t be more wrong. He was relaxed, comfortable, and he clearly loved his mom. Wooyoung was cuddled up to Seonghwa towards the end of your conversation, his head basically on Seonghwa’s chest and his arms around him. 

After the final movie, all three of you decided it was time to head to sleep. You said your good nights and went to your separate rooms. 

But despite the comfortable bed, the wonderful room, and the hospitality of Seonghwa, you couldn’t sleep. 

You looked at your phone, you shifted around, you tried walking around, but you didn’t feel tired. You were getting frustrated after a couple hours. 

You decided to go get a drink of water. Maybe it would calm you, or walking around would take your mind off trying to sleep. 

You quietly made your way out of your room and down the hallway, using the light from your phone to guide you. As you passed Wooyoung’s room, you heard him softly snoring. 

You got into the kitchen and carefully navigated to the cabinets. Seonghwa and Wooyoung both had shown you where to find cups in case a need like this arose during your visit. You didn’t expect to need it the night of, but here you were. 

You found a glass and got your water. It didn’t make you feel any better, but it did feel nice. 

“Can’t sleep, darling?” 

Your whole body jumped as you whirled around to look for the owner of the sound. You knew it was Seonghwa before you saw him, but you still weren’t prepared to see him in the archway, leaning against the wall, in a long black silk robe with flowers all over it. 

You shouldn’t have been fixated on the fact that his robe was open enough for you to see the line that ran down his chest, and the slight ridge of each side. 

He laughed softly before he spoke. “I’m sorry for startling you.” 

His voice was deeper than it was before. Smoother, almost. Like chocolate sauce. 

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it,” you mumbled, trying to keep your eyes on his face. That ended up not working out as his eyes made you feel small, and you looked to focus on your glass instead of him. 

But what you didn’t know yet was that Seonghwa didn’t like to be ignored. You looked at him when he spoke to you. It was a rule like any other. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and you listen to Seonghwa. 

He walked over to you and grabbed your chin, turning your head to look up at him. Your mind went blank and your stomach churned inside you like a washing machine. A smirk pulled the corners of his mouth up as your cheeks turned red yet again. 

“There we are,” he cooed softly, his voice hardly more than a rumble in his throat. 

“Seonghwa, what are you doing?” You said, your voice wavering on every word. Amusement sparkled in his eyes as he moved even closer, his hand moving to the back of your neck. 

“Don’t tell me I was hallucinating the looks you gave me since you showed up. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you checking me out the entire time?” 

Of course not, you knew there was a strong possibility he knew everything. He was at least over double your age, he was no stranger to all of this. 

“I just didn’t think you’d do anything.” You began to stutter more as you struggled to pick the right words. You could see it clearly, in his big dark eyes, that he was enjoying watching you fight to stay composed. 

“And why wouldn’t I? You’re a cute little doll, how could I resist?” 

Your heart gave one massive beat you could feel throughout your whole body. The air in your lungs was sucked out. Your head felt light. You didn’t feel like you remembered how to stand. 

Seonghwa laughed again, and his eyes shifted to something more hungry. More primal. “Come, little doll,” he said, pulling you even closer until you were pressed up against his chest. “Won’t you stay with me for the night?” 

How could you answer with anything besides “yes”?

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 18 . Heterogeneity (3)

a/n: my fav chapter is the one after this hehe, but y'all have to wait until wednesday (unless you're reading this after I already uploaded it lol)

tags: overprotective people around reader, sick reader, fluff overall

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Navigation Masterlist prev . next

_____ thought their headaches and worry would end when Cale woke up after 15 days. The healer is used to the rigorous schedule the commander has whenever he wakes up after fainting. Understand that there’s a lot to catch up on, especially this time since Cale was gone for so long.

Everything had been smooth sailing. There are still a lot of things to do at Mogoru but Jack and the others can handle it. 

Finding the Mercenary King was also easy. In fact, he was the one who showed himself in their inn. Making a deal with him was even easier. As well as getting to the Wind Island. 

“Uhm so you’re telling me the owner of my ancient power is not supposed to talk to me and tell me the race of every single being I encounter?”

“...At least yours don’t have full-blown conversations about bread with you.”

Well, there’s a discovery that Cale and _____ are odd. Apparently, you’re not supposed to hear voices when you have an ancient power…

But aside from that everything else is smooth sailing.

Things started going south when Cale entered Wind Island alone.

Day 1:

Everyone is relaxed albeit a little worried for the young master. However, everyone trusts that he will be fine as he always has been.

Day 2:

Same as yesterday. Everyone is doing their own thing while waiting for the young master. However, _____ thinks that the group is doting on them more than they used to. They aren’t sure though.

Day 3:

Cale is supposed to go back, but there’s not a single sign of him yet. This made everyone in the group tense. Nonetheless, all they can do is wait.

Day 5:

The ambience in the boat has become scary. Not surprising as Cale is 2 days late now. Everyone is still sweet in front of _____. In fact, they have definitely become more doting and protective towards the healer. 

Like they can’t even take a single step forward without someone trying to assist them or asking what they need. At first, it confused _____, but they figured they were probably acting that way because of Cale’s absence.

However, that’s just towards _____.

They are so snappy with Bud. The poor man can’t even take a single breath without being told off. The only time he isn’t getting scolded is when _____ is talking to him.

So _____ took this chance to get acquainted with the Mercenary King. The healer explained to the man how everyone was just on edge because they were worried about the young master.

Day 7:

It’s been 4 days since Cale was supposed to come back. Everyone had decided that if he still didn’t come back in a few hours then they would go to the island.

“Not _____-nim. Please stay here in the boat where it is safe. I promise to come back and bring back Cale-nim”

At this point _____ is used to the group coddling them. They figured it’d either end or dwindle once Cale came back. So they just let everyone be.

Meanwhile, the healer and Bud got acquainted pretty well. It helps that their abilities are similar to each other. Talking to each other is also mutually beneficial to the two. Bud gets to talk to the only person who’s not inherently vicious in the boat. While _____ gets a distraction from the abundance of worry they are feeling.

“I have to ask Medicus-nim, what’s you’re relationship with Cale?”

Bud once tried calling the healer by their first name… never again. The looks he got from everyone were not worth it.

Names aside, the mercenary king is curious about the relationship of the two. In his opinion, _____ is the most protected after Cale. There’s gotta be a reason why that is.

“Me and the young master are friends. However, I am technically working under his orders right now.”

It doesn’t look like that to Bud but sure.

In addition to that, the blue-haired man doesn’t miss the way everyone else softens while _____ is speaking about their relationship. Something is going on that these two young masters don’t know.

However, Bud doesn’t pry. Instead, he lets the conversation die there and opts to wait for Cale silently.

Sure enough, the redhead prevails as he always does.

He came out just before the group was about to attack the island. As soon as he got out he purified the island before desperately eating apple pies like his life depended on it.

“...Cale, you do know that you’re still going to faint right?”

_____ is currently beside Cale thanks to Raon’s floating spell. 

The man in question just ignored the healer and continued gobbling the pie.

“If you don’t stop eating you’re gonna faint with a soggy apple pie in your mouth.”

Munch

Munch

Cale continued ignoring _____.

“Everyone, the young master is going to faint with an apple pie in

3…

2…

1”

True enough Cale fainted like a machinery out of mana after _____’s countdown.

Meanwhile, the healer who’s borderline making fun of Cale could be seen giggling.

Bud doesn’t know why and his afraid Ron and Eruhaben are going to kill him if he asks.

Their way back to Bud’s hometown was quiet. Everyone seemed accustomed to this and already knew what to do with Ron leading everyone.

All of them got to work as soon as Cale was resting on a bed. 

Well almost everyone.

When _____ tried to go out to help Beacrox, Eruhaben just used his mana to steer the healer back into the room. Once the healer was back in, Ron wrapped a blanket around them before guiding them to a comfy couch that had been moved beside Cale’s bed[1].

“Wait I want to help too–”

Ron ignored the healer as if they didn’t even say anything.

“A bed big enough to fit the two of you would be better but this couch would also suffice.”

“Why am I lying down too? I didn’t even use my powers–”

At that moment the children spoke up.

“Lemonade gramps, I think kind _____ forgot that their body is weak!”

“That’s true nya! It also looks like they forgot they’re still healing!”

“Go lie down nya.”

It took _____ a moment to realise what the three were talking about.

“Are you guys talking about what happened in the Caro Kingdom? That’s like a month ago. That wound is all healed up.”

“Yes it has been a month since then but your healing journey has been stunted since you used your powers while we were at the Empire. In addition to that the sea breeze is cold. It’s not good for your weak body.”

“But Eruhaben-nim I’m really okay–”

All it took was one exasperated stare from Eruhaben to make the healer clam up and lie down on the spacious couch. After they did the golden dragon sighed as if he had just dealt with a toddler throwing a tantrum.

True enough _____ developed a fever just a few hours after that. Their body couldn’t handle both the weather and the stress so it decided to break down the moment the healer got to relax. Good thing the group was already expecting this and has prepared everything a sick person would have needed.

At some point _____ tried to argue that maybe they’ll get the kids sick. So they should just let the healer recover in another room and maybe check on them from time to time. However, the children averaging 9 years old retaliated by putting on masks and casting a shield. (A bit overboard in _____’s opinion but when has not Raon been overboard.)

Just like that the two young masters slept for three days.

If on one of those days Cale’s hand twitched and placed itself on top of _____’s hand, then no one said a word.

And if they see Cale continue to hold _____’s hand after he woke up first? No, they didn’t.

[1] if you can't visualize it, just imagine a big couch that's the same height as the bed and then it's side-by-side so the couch kind of looks like an extension of the bed. basically the two + the children are all sleeping beside one another lol

[blues824]

🌸💗 I am bacccc! I come to ask more the mistletoe prompt! With Jack and Sebek, I was hoping their gn!darling could be a Fae of the nightmares/ or what my roommate calls a sleep paralysis demon! 🥺😊

You requested: Mistletoe

Whenever I see Sebek’s name, I go feral

Jack Howl

You had met when he was strolling about in the forest behind the school. You tended to hang about in dark places, but you needed to be alone at the moment. He thought you were ethereal in a rather dark way. You were carrying a candle, walking gracefully and slowly, taking in the mystery of the woods.

Jack was trying to clear his mind as well. Ace and Deuce were horrible during class, and he had a headache that wouldn’t go away. However, it seemed to disappear the second he saw you. You were in your Diasomnia uniform, and you didn’t notice that he was there. Unfortunately for him, he stepped on a twig, and in seconds you were right next to him, asking who he was.

Anyway, you had joined the First Year group of unlikely friends, and you even entered a courtship with the wolf. Everyone, including him, was surprised that you accepted his confession, but he was happy that you did. It was right in time for the holidays as well, because you both got busy with getting ready for the dormitory Christmas parties.

However, the First Years headed to Ramshackle shortly after the celebrations ended, despite being exhausted. You were as graceful as the day he met you in the forest, despite fatigue being apparent on your face. Now, what you both didn’t know (you did know, as you had seen it in everyone’s dreams, but you weren’t going to stop it), was that they placed mistletoe in various locations so that you were bound to walk under it.

It didn’t take long, and Ace shouted and pointed to it. Jack’s ears fell, face glowing red as he looked at you. You grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket and pulled him into a rather passionate kiss, and you could hear his tail hitting Deuce from how hard it was wagging. Grim shouted a loud GET A ROOM, and it made Jack break away in embarrassment.

Sebek Zigvolt

You had visited his dream the first night you were in Diasomnia, and he did not appreciate how you took control of it just to introduce yourself. However, it was strange. You interrupted everything and just strolled in gracefully. Sebek found himself paralyzed, and not because of your appearance… You made it so that he actually could not move.

When he saw you in the dormitory the next morning, walking out of the gate, he had the sudden urge to talk to you. He could sense that you were a fae, and that already got his respect. You, however, had a bit of trouble concealing your smile as you denied his accusations of entering his dream with your magic. Your efforts were in vain, as you let out a giggle, blowing your cover.

Again, everyone was surprised when they found out that Sebek was courting you. Yuu was very supportive and even very excited, but everyone else thought it was a fake relationship. However, they created a plan that was sure to reveal the nature of your association with him. They were living for drama, but little did they know, they would not be getting it.

As you headed to Ramshackle, arm in arm, you were joined by your friends and the smell of more food in the dilapidated dormitory. However, it was different. You were surrounded by people who have helped defeat overblot after overblot. You noticed that your friends were whispering amongst each other, snickering as they looked at you both.

The mistletoe was hanging over the front door, and since you both entered together, you stood under it. Ace and Epel pointed it out, and you both looked up to confirm it. Sebek was so flustered and embarrassed, shouting at the two for pressuring someone as great as you to do something like this before marriage. But, he was further flustered when you pulled him in by the lapels of his jacket into a kiss.

[kivedreams]

CAN'T GET ENOUGH. knj.

pair. idol namjoon x f. reader. 

genre. established relationship, long distance, have never said I love you. 

warnings. +18, daddy kink, unprotected sex, power imbalance, rough sex, filthy sex, dirty talk, fingering, namjoon is really demanding, lil degradation.

synopsis; you’ve been waiting for me so patiently, I know, I’ll reward you, you little slut! or namjoon has 3 free days from the military service and he decides to enjoy them with you.

word count: 3.5k

A/N: I haven't write a fic in seven years, I hope this lives to the today's standards. kive

It was already sunset, everything felt quiet and lonely in the apartment, music had become a sad thing to play, so enjoying silence had become your main thing the last 3 months, since he had gone, as a foreigner you didn't fully comprehend the concept behind military service, in your country military had never been a big thing, consequences of being an small country that never seem to need it, so the moment that you realize that Namjoon actually had to enlist for around 2 years made a fissure in your heart, you really could not imagine how life was going to be for you, for both of you during that time, will your relationship be able to fight the distance? you had already been dating for over a year and everything felt like a fairytale, sneaking around, going to cafes in the countryside, hiding in your apartments, the sneaky kisses, grabbing hands under the table, and hiding your relationship from everyone else, because it was safer for both of you, it made things fun and exciting, but of course it was sad too, not being able to go around seoul’s streets holding hands, not being able to share pictures of you together, not being able to kiss him whenever you wanted and denying the obvious from everyone, that you were completely in love with Kim Nam Joon.

You knew that it was going to be the result after accepting that personal assistant job, but it was ok, the pay was amazing, the opportunities were amazing, you were going to be working side by side with someone you have already admired for years, so just keeping a lid in your feelings wasn't going to be a hard sacrifice, but two whole years being behind the smart, handsome, and talented men that namjoon was, proved to be way harder than you thought It'll be, of course you got drunk, of course you forgot with who you were with, and of course it ended up with you, namjoon, the empty hall in your building, and you shouting to the world that your boss was the most beautiful men that you have ever seen and of course that it would be a pleasure to have his children, you would have been honored to do so, and the last thing that you remember is namjoon’s laugh and then falling into the darkness.

Next morning, you woke up in your bed, completely tuck in, with you curls in a bonnet, not a single drop of makeup on and a dreadful headache, you felt so bad that you thought you might puke, water was a must, while you walked down to kitchen in your one bedroom studio apartment, that was perfect for you and your cats, nobody could've expected what your eyes saw.

Kim Nam Joon was sat in your living room reading one of the books that you picked up the last time you were in the bookstore, Kim Ji Young born 1982 by Choi Nam-Joo, the shock was visible in your eyes, you didn't know what to do or what to say, you wanted to just roll back to your room and hide there for the next 5 years, why was Namjoon in your living room reading on your brown chair one of your books and drinking coffee from that pretty pink mug you thrifted a while ago? he did not notice your presence until you cat, Komi walked over to you meowing and demanding to be feeded.

He lowered his gaze from the book to look at your completely shocked face. “Good morning Y/N, I knew you were going to sleep till late. I made coffee and breakfast, do you want some?” he said with a little smirk, that did not mean too much for you at the moment.

You were frozen by the idea of having Namjoon in your house, you've been dropped off with him a thousand times, but he had never come in. Once you realize you've been in complete silence for a minute since he asked, you remembered that you had to respond. “Y-yes, I do” you said with a low but strong voice. “Ok, sit down I'll get it for you” he said while standing up, you couldn't sit down without feeding your cats first, you used it as an excuse to go to the bathroom and see the state that you were, bonnet falling up to the side, your bare face that showed how much you drank last night, you quickly washed up your face and fixed the bonnet because it was going to be impossible to do more than that.

Walking with small steps to the kitchen, you said good morning as soon as you saw Namjoon, he smiled at you and said the same, offering you the same pink cup but full of fresh coffee. “How do you feel? Do you have any headaches? I ordered some hangover medicine for you” he said lifting a white bag with the nearest pharmacy logo printed all over it, you could feel the embarrassment in your whole body, grabbing the bag and looking thru its contents, you took the gold colored bottle that you new was going to get rid of any traces of the effect of alcohol in your system. He put a bowl full of rice next to you, making you realize the side dishes that were in the countertop, and while holding two bowls, one that looked it had kimchi on it and another  with salted veggies on it Kim NamJoon said,

“So, you'll be honored to have my children?” in a laughing tone, and you knew it was over.

========

That have been a whole year ago and it was still embarrassing for you, but somehow your feelings were not one sided, and thanks to that dumb slip off, you were there now in the apartment that you shared with the man of your dreams, it was lonely without him, but you were stress free and relaxed with your little demons, your cats, exactly what Namjoon wanted. When he suggested that it would be better for you to move in with him, the idea made you nervous but in the good way, moving together was an important step in your relationship. It made clear that Namjoon was taking the relationship as serious as you were, and honestly everything was better and easier.

You heard the door code and it spook you, because only you, Namjoon, the cleaning lady and maybe Jin had it, walking down the hallway to the door you were kind of scared, you knew it wasn't a thread because the security wouldn't let anybody come in, and the moment that the door opened you heart sank in surprised and happiness, there he was dressed in his military gear, carrying a small bag with his left hand, looking at you with those fiery eyes, you could not keep it to yourself so you left the scream out.

“Omg, omg omg! Nam!” you screamed while running close to him, he caught you up dropping his bag to the floor and lifting you closer, making it seem like there wasn't a height difference, and there it was that wood, forest scent that gave you peace, the scent of the man that had ingrained himself in your heart, it made you feel at home, you started kissing his whole face, while loading him with a million questions on the why and the how.

He let out a small laugh, walking with you on top to the entrance. 

“They gave us three rest days'' he said, kissing you back, you feel his warm soft lips on top of yours, redirecting the kiss, your body touching the wall, while he slowly lets you on the floor wrapping his big hands around your waist.

“I missed you so much Y/N, in a desperate type of way” kiss “You look so beautiful, I'm so happy to see you” he whispered in your ear, kiss “How have my baby been?” he asked in that low musky voice that drove you crazy, you wrapped your hands around his neck, asking him to lift you to his face, and he did, as always.

“I have been missing you since day one, sleeping on your side of the bed, even though it doesn't smell like you anymore” you replied kissing him back with the same amount of passion and intensity “how are you babe?” 

“Right now, I am marvelous, in front of heaven's doors you could say” he looked at you with those intense eyes, and that happy puppy face, letting you on the floor, moving to the bench at the entrance to remove the big black military boots that made him look even taller. 

“I genuinely cannot believe that you're here, in front of me” you said sitting next to him.

“I am baby, here in front of you” he replied, kissing your forehead. “ and if it were for me I'll never leave” 

========

And there you were lying down, cuddling on the sofa, watching a random entertainment show that was on, both of you way to happy after making dinner together. You were trying to get even closer to him, even when your whole body was already on top of him, and he had you wrapped in his arms, it was never enough. 

“Are you cold?” he asked, pulling you closer. You moved your body resting your face in his chest “No, I just want to be closer” you replied hugging him, he laughed, you feel the vibration of his body in yours. “It's never enough for you, is it?” he sat down carrying you up.

“You know it is not” you said sitting on top of him kissing his neck. He put his hands on your thighs, you know how much he loves them, you're sure that they are now bigger since you've put on some weight due to stress eating this few months, between being ‘jobless’ and without him, cooking had become your comfort zone; you feel the way he's grabbing you, more aggressively by the minute, you like it, like you always do.

He enjoys your body until you let a small moan slip next to his ears, you feel how his whole body tense up, Namjoon moves his mouth to your neck whispering “ You liked that?” in a deep voice, he was turned on, and you were too.

“Y-yes” you replied in a moan while he slid his hands through the short pajama pants that you should have not been wearing during winter.

His hands started to wander around your waist, pulling the white cardigan out of you, letting wet kisses all around your neck, one of his hands left you waist, grabbing one of your breast he started stroking it, making you let out another moan, he knew where all your bottoms where and he started pressing them on, you'll be lying if you don't admit how horny you have been this months without him, you wanted it so bad, so desperately, you need it. He stopped stroking your breast over the blouse that you had, to rip it from your body.

“I want to fuck you so hard  Y/N, you’ve been waiting for me so patiently, I know, I’ll reward you, you little slut! ” He said passing his hand through your chest, he let a wet kiss on your neck and moved his mouth to your left breast placing his tongue on your nipple playing with it.

You let a moan out and heard a chuckle coming from his mouth, and then he started sucking on you tit while keeping one of his hands on your neck, there he was, he loved taking control of you, you could feel how his hand was holding you tightly, reminding you who you were from. He loved to know that he owns you, and that you gladly agree. 

He freed your neck and started playing with your other tit, your head falling into his neck moaning his name, his thick long cock rising up in his joggers you could feel it brushing in your leg, it was making you lose your mind, Namjoon loved when you please him, and you loved to please him, your hand reached to the border of his pants, touching his hard erection through the fabric, he moaned.

“This is how happy I am to see you” he said standing up with you on top, his voice was deep and his eyes were filled with desire, he sat you down on the edge of the couch removing your shorts and panties together.

 “I love how wet you are, tell me how much you want it” he said taking a step back to look at you, dripping wet, shining with sweat “I want to always see you like this, desperately waiting for me to eat you up, tell me Y/N, do you want it? call for it”

“Y-yes, Nam I want it!” you beg through desperate breaths, trying to catch your breath, to breathe at a normal pace. 

“Wrong Y/N” he said loud and demanding “What's my name?” he walked up to you, taking both your hands, kneeling you down in front of the couch, resting you face in it, he put his big hand in the center of your back bending you down even more “I’m going to finger you until you remember what's my name, you whore!” 

He slapped your cheek making you moan, his hands were moving around your whole body, like if he was tasting you, his right hand moved just to the top of you venus mount, opening you up with his long fingers, Namjoon started to play with your clitoris, making you moan and beg for his dick, but he wasn't going to give it to you, until you give him what he wanted.

“Daddy please!” you moaned, exactly what he wanted to hear.

“That's my baby, tell daddy what you want, and he’ll give it to you” he said in your ears, kissing your neck, his kisses moving down to your back, while he put a finger inside of you. “Is this what you want baby, talk to me” he said putting another finger inside.

“I want-t you inside, inside of me daddy”

“Who am I to deny your wishes” he said in a chuckle “ Stand up for me baby” he demanded so you did, his clothes were already on the floor, and when you stood up, you could see his dick in full bloom, he sat down on the couch making you sat on top of him, your back in his chest, you could feel how the military training had pay its fruits, he took your breasts in his hands, caressing your nipples “Look down honey, look how wet your pussy is, begging to be fucked”

All you could see was his dick touching you. You grabbed it with both hands pumping it up, seeing his shiny tip, desperate for it to be inside of you, the action well received with his moans and hard breathes.

 “Damn baby, you never hesitate, c’mon put it inside of you! ” he teased.

You lifted up your body, him helping you with his hands now on your thighs, you used you hands to drive his long shiny cock to your entrance, feeling the tip inside of you, driving it slower, but of course Namjoon would not let you have that, he moved his hands making you whole body fall in his cock, it opening you up, the stretch hitting you up just where you need it, driving you crazy the way that you could feel it completely filling you up. He stayed there for a second waiting on you, making sure that you were ok.

“M-move, please move!” you beg in a whisper, he gave it to you.

Namjoon hugged your body, lifting you while moving himself up and down, you heard him moaning and panting, and that made you even more aroused, he was stretching you up, giving you what you wanted, his dick.

3 months without seeing him and getting his touch, how much you missed him

made you feel insane, but now he was here showing you that he was going insane too without your body close to him, it was joyful having you on top of him.

Namjoon started to touch your clit with two of his fingers, you were so wet for him, and he was enjoying it to the fullest, he could feel how close you were, he wasn't going to last longer either.

And suddenly he pulls out, making you moan in disbelief

“why?!” you screamed

“ I want to see your face when you come for me” 

He turned you around, like a rag doll, you forgot how strong Namjoon was, especially when he wanted you in a specific place.

“C’mon sit on it” he said grabbing his dick, you did not hesitate, and sat on it immediately

“D-daddy!” 

He kissed you, deeply,his tongue exploring your mouth, he grabbed your ass with both of his hands making the pace even more aggressive, you were about to cum, you felt it, breaking the kiss, feeling the lack of air and the heat in the room. Your moans louder by the second.

“Come for daddy baby, come” he whispered in your ears with his deep voice, and that was it his sucked your nipple while you came making you a mess of moans and deep breaths, orgasm hitted you high, and you could feel him still using your body to get to his own climax.

“I'm coming inside baby” his voice even deeper, and you wanted it.

“Yes daddy, cum inside of me” you moaned for him.

His thick load filling you up, the warmth of his cum heating you up from inside, his moans drive you crazy making you cum again with him, a mix of moans and hard breaths, inhale, exhale, fill the room, you fell on top of him trying to catch your breath. 

“That was intense, I am out of words” you whispered hugging him

“Indeed” he said, caressing your lower back. “ I love you Y/N” 

He stand up with on top, wearing a shocked expression on your face it was the first time he ever said it, it caught you by surprise, Namjoon trust issues were as clear as the day, so he never fully open up about his feelings, and you let him, you understood that it would take time, for him to be completely open to you, it was ok you were there for him and that was the best way to prove him that he could trust you with his feelings, him saying I love you market a new path in you relationship. 

Before you could realize it, you were already in the bathroom Namjoon, pulling out of you letting you slowly on the floor. The mess between your legs demanded to be cleaned, he kissed your shoulder and said “ Want to take a bath?” you nod, still in disbelief of what has happened. 

Namjoon prepared the bath for the both of you, using the bath salts that you loved, you were still there standing up in front of the mirror, seeing him move through it, making sure the water was warm enough lighting up the candles, he got close to you hugging you from the back “Lets rinse up first, ok?” you felt the doubt in his voice, the nervousness in his system, you could only nod. He moved you to the shower, tying up your hair in a bun, he knew wetting your hair at this time meant a test, you feel the water going in your skin, the warmth felt good.

“Ok, you're clean baby, come” he said, driving you out of the water to the bath.

You could see the stars through the windows of the bathroom, there you were resting on his chest, hearing his calm breath, feeling his hands on your ways, the bubbles covering your bodies,the burning smell of the candles, and the warmth embracing both of you.

“Nam” you said in a whisper.

“Yes babe” he said, taking your hand.

“I love you too” 

You heard him exhale deeply, meaning relief, “I was scared, though I said it too soon” he said, moving your body so you could face him.

“I wasn't expecting it so I got surprised, sorry”

“Nothing to be sorry for babe” he said, giving you a kiss, it was sweet and soft, he was telling you how much he loved you. You broke the kiss.

“Can you say it again? I want to hear it more” you said smiling, your body could not keep the amount of happiness going through your body.

“I love you Y/N” he whispered, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer for a kiss, and there you knew he was going to make love to you again, because it was never enough with you two. 

 ===============================================

with love kive <3

[flowerprincesscherryblossom]

hate

pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader word count: 1712 warnings: smut, explicit language, hate sex, rough sex, face-fucking, degradation, oral sex, vaginal fingering, clothed sex AO3 A/N: request - hi! i absolutely love your writing!! if it’s okay with you, do you think you can write a short smut where y/n and jungkook are enemies but he happened to have a Polaroid in his wallet of her nudes (this is a thing apparently? HAHA, perhaps a drunken night that they don’t speak of..) Hope you like it and that you have a wonderful day wherever you are💜

If anyone asked you if you had any regrets ever since going to college, and if you were to answer truthfully, you'd have only one - Jeon Jungkook.

A little backstory: you and Jungkook met through your mutual friend Namjoon, a childhood friend of yours and basically Jungkook's male crush, and you had a problem almost immediately with him because he acted like a spoiled brat, which he was.

He always had a different girl on his arm, if not two or more, always acting as if he was the king of the campus just because he was good at everything. And all of his hyungs, Namjoon included, always let him have his way. You just found him so annoying.

And he liked to tease you a lot as well, something that got worse one the night of the party.

Two months ago at BTS frat house during one of the many parties they would throw you had made the mistake of getting pissed drunk, waking up the next morning in Jungkook's bed, both of you naked as the day you were born - despite the massive headache it didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.

Ever since then he started to annoy you even more. It was a miracle to have any time to yourself without him popping out out of nowhere. The most annoying part was that he kept teasing you about what had happened during that night which was something you didn't want to even remember. The only part that you willing force yourself to remember was both of you stumbling into the bedroom, full-on making out, and then waking up with one of his arms around you.

You didn't care about remembering the details - you fucked and that was something that you accepted and wanted to move on from.

Talking to your friends didn't help much, especially Namjoon. That bastard giant tree of a man, using his psychology minor to analyze the apparent feelings you had for Jungkook.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you're confusing hate with something else?" he asked while both of you were taking in the sunlight on the frat house's backyard after both of your classes had ended for the day.

"Of course I know it's hate. How dare you ask me if I'm aware of my feelings as if you'd know me better than I know myself!" you replied angrier than you probably should have but one look at your friend's face made you lean your head against his shoulder. "Still love you though."

"Aww thank you sweetheart, the feeling's mutual," Speak of the devil.

Just hearing the sound of his voice from behind you already had your blood boiling. "Didn't your mother ever taught you that eavesdropping is rude?"

"Didn't yours ever taught that you shouldn't lie to people?"

At Jungkook's comeback Namjoon sighed, already knowing what was about to happen and wondering why it was always him in the middle of this mess.

As you and Jungkook went back and forth with the bickering, mostly you, neither of you even noticed that Namjoon had gone back inside.

"Oh my God, why can't you just leave me alone?" you yelled, almost feeling the need to pull at your hair.

"Why can't you just admit that you liked what happened between us?"

You were quick to cover his mouth with your hand, hoping that nobody else had heard him. "That shouldn't ever happen in the first place, you hear me?"

Pulling your hand away from him Jungkook leaned closer to your ear. "You're that ashamed to admit that you liked being my dirty little slut?" your eyes widen at his words, embarrassed that they had an effect on you. "Want me to show you how much you loved it?"

Before you had a chance to respond he grabbed your wrist and dragged you to his room, closing the door once you were both inside.

Forcing you to take a seat on the bed Jungkook pulled a polaroid picture out of his wallet and showing it to you, the image making you want to jump out the window - it was you, full-blown naked on his bed, legs spread, hands cupping your breasts while giving the camera, and by extension Jungkook, your best fuck me eyes amidst licking your top lip.

"There's more where that came from," he said as you fixated on what was in front of your eyes. "They've helped me big time."

His implication pulled you out of the trance you were in. "You're a disgusting pig,"

"Maybe," he smirked widen. "But you didn't have a problem letting a disgusting pig fuck your brains out."

Falling into silence you and Jungkook simply stared at one another for what felt like hours before he made the move of smashing his lips against yours.

The shock you felt was quick to pass and you wasted no time reciprocating with the same force and hunger.

Pulling away from you Jungkook started fiddling with his belt. "On your knees slut."

You kneel before him, pulling his pants and underwear down, his hand moving to the back of your head as you stroked his length. Dragging your tongue from the base to his leaking tip, sucking on it before taking inch by inch from his thick girth.

His grip on your hair tightens as you bob your head up and down, your jaw and throat most likely sore from taking him so deeply. "Wonder what he'd think if he saw you on your knees for me?"

At his words, you pulled your mouth away and stared at him. "Mention Namjoon again and, I swear, I'll bite your fucking dick off."

With a scoff, Jungkook tighten the grip on your hair and forced his cock down your throat. As he thrusts into your mouth, practically impaling his cock, the tip repeatedly bumping against the back of your throat as tears stream down your face and saliva escaped out of the corners of your mouth, constantly gagging on his massive length.

"Such a good little cockslut," he grunts thrusting ferociously into your mouth and simultaneously guiding your head to meet his movements. "Letting me fuck her throat raw."

Hollowing your cheeks, as your tongue slides against the underside, you started rubbing your thighs and moaned around his length. "Pathetic whore, getting wet just from having me in your mouth," Jungkook's head falls back, eyes rolling as he loses himself in the sensation. "Oh fuck." A sudden hard thrust, making you gag and choke, he lets out a strained roar, spilling his cum inside you.

Pulling himself out he forces you to look at him. "Swallow." You visibly swallowed his load, sticking out your tongue to show him. "Good, now take off your panties and lay on the bed."

Doing as you are told, you throw your underwear in his face and then lay on the edge of the bed, spreading your legs.

"Fucking brat," he murmurs as he slides to his knees, spreading your thighs as wide as he could. "At least you were smart enough to wear a skirt."

"Go to hell," you said before a whimper escaped you as his fingers rubbed at your core before he licked a fat stripe from your hole to your clit.

"Funny of you to say that," Jungkook said before burying his face into your pussy, tongue swirling around your hole before moving up to your clit, making you arch your back.

As his lips wrap around your throbbing clit and start sucking on it, you gasp when he slides two fingers inside of you, pumping them with immense speed. "Fuck!" you moaned when he added a third finger, sending you over the edge.

Jungkook grunts as he feels your cunt squeeze around his fingers, his cock rock solid once again. "Shame I can't see your tits, the polaroids will have to do until next time,"

"Who said there was going to be a next time?" you said as you tried to catch your breath.

"That's exactly what you said last time," gripping the base of his length and giving himself a few pumps.

"Fuck you,"

"I'm getting to that," lining himself up, Jungkook slips inside you in one swift motion, burying himself to the hilt, you were so wet that he groaned out loud. "Holy shit."

Filling you up to the brim, stretching you beyond what you thought you could handle. "Just fuck me already."

"Needy slut," he tightly gripped your hips, pulling out until only the tip remained before slamming into you, thrusting into you without abandon. You whine and keen for him to continue, each snap of his hips bringing you closer and making your eyes roll back into your head.

"Look at yourself," one of his hands leaves its place to wrap around your throat, giving it a squeeze. "Begging for my cock like you weren't hating me not that long ago," the combination of his words and the squeeze on your throat causing your cunt to clench around his length. "Such a filthy fucking whore."

Continuing with his brutal pace Jungkook's hand descends from your neck to your clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive bundle.

"G-gonna cum," you cry feeling your body near the edge.

"Cum on my cock bitch." the unrelenting pace and the thumb rubbing your clit bring you to the end, a scream leaving your lips.

With how your cunt convulsed around his cock, coaxing and gripping him tight, it wasn't long before Jungkook released, splattering your walls with his cum.

Pulling out he lays down beside you, both of you working on catching your breaths.

Once you felt that your legs had stopped being jello you got up from your spot, put your panties back on, and made your way towards the door, just wanting to go home and take a nice, warm, and long shower.

"Until next time," Jungkook said still lying in bed and waving his hand.

"There's not going to be a next time,"

With a smirk on his lips and mischief in his eyes. "That's exactly what you said last time,"

"Go die!" you groaned slamming the door and quickly left the house, hoping your friend hadn't heard any of what transpired between you and Jungkook.

[hyungseos-cafe]

Pairing: P1harmony Jiung x GN!Reader Ft. Theo and Keeho

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Warning: Swearing, Jiung being an idiot lol

Word count: 1.2k +

Summary: When work climbs to the top of his priorities, everything else around him seemed to fall apart, including his relationship with you. They say to never let work get in the way, but when your boyfriend is a famous producer, things get murky.

A/N: i was inspired by rach’s jiung headcanon haha so go check it out! OH AND HI RACH!! SEE IT'S NOT ALL ANGST!! your heart can rest easily. Also shout out to Theo and Keeho for being persistent and saving the relationship. And thank you to those who showed interest in this fic!!!! I hope to write for piwon more 🥹 P.S. there's something very important written in the tags so pls be sure to read it ~

Order for: @sxfterhearts @p1ecesofate @issadumbass @stellxx @classicicarus @halaboyz @chenleluvr @astro-doll-the-star @zynz0 @orangebl0ssoms - unable to tag

(lmk if you want to be removed)

Daily click for Palestine | Learn more about Palestine

“You’ve changed” 

Jiung continued to work at his desk, it was like you were talking to the wall. 

“Jiung, did you even hear me?”

“Yeah, I get it, I’ve changed. What’s new?” 

“What do you mean what’s new? You missed all our dates this month and not to mention our 2 year anniversary” 

“I already told you, deadlines have been killer this month. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Oh I don’t know, be my boyfriend? It doesn’t feel like I’m in a relationship anymore” 

It was your last sentence that brought Jiung out of his work. Truthfully he’s been thinking over your relationship too, and you’re right, he has changed. 

“Look, if you’re wanting the reason why I’ve been missing our dates or whatever… it’s work” 

“I get that you’re busy Ji, but it doesn’t feel like I have a boyfriend”

“If you want a boyfriend then maybe you should look elsewhere because I don’t think I can give you what you deserve” 

You sat at the couch in his studio stunned, sinking deeper into the cushion below you, you were speechless.

“So that’s it? This is how we end things? Two years Ji, two fucking years just thrown away because you’ve been ‘busy with work’ you’ve got to be kidding me”

Jiung sighed, his head pressed into the palm of his hands, a headache coming on as he thought about his current predicament. 

“I’m sorry but I tried okay, and I already told you, I can’t give you what you deserve. I’m sorry if I disappointed you”

You slowly sat up, tears starting to well up as you gathered what remnants remained in his studio; your sweater, your blue blanket and a Polaroid the two of you took together at the Han River. 

“Okay, I’m leaving then. So much for two years Ji” 

“I’m sorry” 

Jiung slowly led you out of his studio, watching you turn the corner as you walked out of his life forever. He never wanted what you had to end, but his greed got the better of him and clouded his judgment. 

A few months later Jiung receives a call from a familiar voice, Taeyang

“Dude, you have to talk to Y/n”

“Why? I hurt them didn’t I? I thought they didn’t want to talk to me”

“They’ve been ignoring all of our calls the past few months. The only person who can get through to them is Keeho”

Keeho was a mutual friend, well maybe best friend. He always rooted for your relationship knowing how difficult it was dating a popular producer. Keeho was more than just your best friend, he was your voice of reason, a true confidant and wonderful listener. 

“Y/n, you can’t just ignore our calls like this. We all care about you so much. You had me worried sick”

“I know, I’m sorry Keeho”

“I don’t think you do, I was so worried you got sick or that you haven’t been eating. You know Jiung would be mad, right?”

“Jiung and I aren’t together anymore” 

It took everything out of him not to raise his voice at you. He knew how much Jiung cherished you and how hard he fumbled when it came to you. Jiung actually called Keeho a couple days ago to air out his grievances ever since he let you slip between his fingers. 

“I know, but he still cares about you Y/n” 

“How would you know? It’s not like you talk to him anymo–”

“Just shut up for a second and listen to me, okay” Keeho firmly gripped onto each side of your shoulders forcing eye contact with you 

“I’m not supposed to say anything, but I can’t watch you tear yourselves apart like this. I love the both of you so much, so listen to what I am going to say, okay? No interruptions!!!”

You nodded as your shoulders drooped and you leaned in to rest your forehead against Keeho’s chest, feeling the reverberation as he spoke. 

“Jiung is going to be pissed, but he told me last week that he still loves you. Trust me Y/n, that boy loves the shit out of you. He wouldn’t leave his studio last week because he was apparently writing you a letter. I told him you liked receiving letters, so he wrote one…”

Keeho gently held your head in his hands, brushing the stray hairs that fell out of place and smiled down at you. You smiled back and wrapped your arms around his torso, taking his every word in. 

“Thank you Keeho, I should try to go see him tonight then” 

“I’ll drop you off if you want? My apartments 3 blocks away from his studio anyways, but only if you’re okay with it” 

“O-okay, I actually really miss him” You felt almost sheepish admitting your remaining feelings. 

A little less than 10 minutes later you stood in front of Jiung’s building where his studio is. You let yourself in with Jiung’s code. Walking down the dark corridors, you felt your heart skip a beat. As you rounded the corner, you could see warm light spilling from the room in front of you. Taking a deep breath, you gently knocked on the door. 

“Theo I told you I was-” His eyes widened as you stepped through the door. 

“Y/n? You’re here… I thought you didn’t want to see me” 

Sadness was evident in his voice as he gently grabbed your hand, guiding you to the couch inside his studio. His touch tentatively lingered on your hand as he struggled to meet your eyes. 

“I’m sorry” you both started, meeting each other's eyes, Jiung let out a quiet breath, smiling as he took in your features. 

“Don’t be, I should be the one apologizing. I wasn’t the best boyfriend and I should have done more” 

“And I’m sorry for walking out on you… I heard from Keeho that you wrote me a letter” 

“Oh, I– Yeah, I have been busy writing this letter to you. I’m not sure if you want to read it though. I don’t want it to seem disingenuous” 

“Ji, you’re always genuine and I would love to read it if you’ll let me” 

He turned around to rummage his desk, searching for said letter that was hidden amongst the stack of music sheets and notebooks. 

Jiung hesitated, letter in hand, he tapped the back of your hand before scooting closer to you, leaning his head on your shoulder, gently placing the letter in your hand and interlocking your fingers. 

“I missed you, I missed this” 

You let go of his hand unraveling the letter Jiung wrote to you, tears threatening to fall as you read his letter, feeling the emotions he poured so purely into his letter. 

The night went on with hushed conversation as the two of you worked to repair your relationship. To say that Keeho was relieved was a massive understatement. As soon as Theo let him know that your relationship was reconciled, he immediately rushed to call you. 

“Hey Keeho, what’s up?” 

“Theo told me you’re back together! I’MSOHAPPYFORYOUTHATICOULDCRY” He exclaimed from the other line

“Awe, me too. Thank you for fighting for me Kee, it really mean–” 

Before you could continue Jiung erupts from the background to thank Keeho for his diligence and persistence. 

“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full, Y/n”

“Jiung’s just happy he’s back with me at my apartment, but thank you. I’ll talk to you soon! And next time we get lunch, it’s on us!” 

[heartsforvin]

BROTHERLY LOVE

needed something fluffy but angsty , cus i feel like all ive been writing is smut recently 🥲 hope you guys enjoy !!

pairing: vinnie hacker x fem!sister!reader

warnings: cussing, bit of angst, mentions of anxiety / separation anxiety, use of nicknames (bubba, bug, etc), use of y/n, mentions of medication use, overall mainly fluffy sibling love

summary: the bond between you and your older brother is unmatched, attached at the hip, how will you react when he tells you he’s moving out?

the bond between you and your older brother was unlike most brother/sister relationships. most siblings bicker and fight, but you and vinnie always got along.

sure you had your moments, but at the end of the day, you don’t know what you’d do without him.

vinnie, you, and reggie were inseparable, always hanging out together. your and reggie’s relationship was very different from you and vinnie’s.

maybe it was because the two of you were close in age, only being eighteen months apart. you didn’t know why it was so different, you loved your younger brother endlessly.

the age gap between you and vinnie was two years, so you weren’t sure why you and your older brother didn’t but heads like you and your younger brother did.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

you woke up to the noise of your brothers shouting across the hallway, right next to your bedroom door. groaning, you kicked off your blankets and opened up the door.

neither of them noticed you were standing in the doorway, the loud argument continued to unfold in front of you.

you didn’t care what they were fighting about, it was probably some video game anyways. it was way too early to be up on a saturday.

“can you two please take your argument somewhere else?” you asked, pressing your palms into your eyes at the feeling of a headache already sprouting. 

both boys rolled their eyes and just walked away from your room. sighing, you walked back into your room to try and get at least a few more hours of sleep.

a few hours later the sun casting its way into your room had woken you up. checking your phone you saw it was a much reasonable hour to be awake other than earlier.

getting up, you had gotten dressed for the day before making your way downstairs to where you saw vinnie in the kitchen.

running up behind him, you jumped up onto his back and hugged him tightly.

“whatcha doin’, bug.” vinnie laughs as he feels the added weight on his body.

stopping what he’s doing, he cranes his head over his shoulder and looks at you as you smile at him.

“what are you doing today?” you ask, completely forgetting about his previous question.

vinnie thinks for a moment before responding. “nothin’ really, why what’s up?”

you untangle yourself from your older brother and land back on your feet, now being inches shorter than him.

“wanna do something with you is all.” you reply with a shrug to your shoulders.

vinnie chuckles as he nods his head, he turns around to finish up what he’s doing before turning his body around and facing you once more.

“how ‘bout this,” he starts, completely forgetting his manners and chewing his food while talking. “lemme finish this, shower and then we’ll get some ice cream and i’ll take you out to the skatepark, yeah?”

smiling wide, you hug your brother tightly before going up to your room to dress more comfortably for skateboarding.

vinnie took you to the skatepark every now and then, mainly when you weren’t busy with college classes.

since it was summer, classes were out and you were able to everything and anything you wanted.

you promised your parents you’d find a job during the summertime. you’ve had no luck yet but knew one would come eventually.

for now, you just hang out with your older brother. being in his streams, hanging out with him and his friends, and going to the skatepark together.

vinnie’s been teaching you how to skate since before you even learned how to ride a bike.

besides joining his streams with him from time to time, skating is your favorite thing to do with him.

you wished you bonded the way you do with vinnie towards reggie, but the two of you could never seem to get along for more than twenty minutes.

you hated how you bonded more with vinnie. you felt like a shitty sister for it. you’ve tried so many times to mend the bridge between you and your younger brother, but nothing seemed to work.

you stopped trying months ago, figuring this is how your relationship is going to be from now on.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

“one strawberry cone and one chocolate, please.” vinnie ordered as you stood next to him, subtly laughing as he ordered his ice cream.

the cashier took the money and gave change back before telling you both they’d be ready soon.

you and vinnie sat at a picnic table a few feet away, waiting for your ice cream.

“chocolate, really?” you laugh at your brother as he just playfully rolls his eyes at you.

“nothing wrong with chocolate,” he tells you. “what about you? who likes strawberry?” he asks.

you laugh and give him a sarcastic smile while flipping him off. moments later you hear your order being called out and you go to grab both ice cream cones.

once back at the table, you hand vinnie his ice cream. as the two of you start to eat the sweet treat, the topic of schooling comes up.

“how’s college goin’?” your older brother asks you.

you still lived at home while going to college, the whole dorm thing seemed interesting and fun, but you decided not to do it this year.

“good,” you reply before licking the side of the ice cream cone before it got all over your hand. “glad it’s over for now though, needed a break.”

vinnie smiles at you as the two of you continue to eat the ice cream. he’s so proud at how far you’ve come in life.

he remembers the anxious little girl who always clung to his side whenever the two of you went out together.

he was so happy and excited for you when you told him you were planning on going to college in the fall after your highschool graduation. he couldn’t have been more proud.

once the two of you are finished, vinnie grabs some napkins for the both of you to wipe your hands off with.

the two of you start heading back to the car in silence. as you glance at vinnie, you can obviously tell he’s got something on his mind but you don’t push the matter, not knowing if he wants to talk about it or not.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

“you’re doing a lot better than last time.” vinnie says as he ruffles your hair.

he took you to the skatepark and you couldn’t have been more happy, even if he had said hours ago he’d take you.

it’s been awhile since he had been able to take you, and you were glad you finally got this time together.

the thought of what vinnie is thinking of still hung in the back of your mind, but you tried to push past it and enjoy this time with him.

after awhile the two of you took a break and sat at the top of one of the ramps.

your head was on vinnie’s shoulder as he had his arm wrapped around your back.

“can i tell you somethin’?” the voice of your older brother broke the comfortable silence.

you lifted your head to look at him. “anything.” you said with a smile.

it took him a minute to reply. he wondered how you’d take this news he was about to share.

he knew for sure that you’d be so happy for him, but that it would also break you.

with a deep inhale, he quickly calmed his nerves and just said it out there in the open.

“i’m moving to LA.”

you looked at him wide eyed, not knowing if what he had just said was real. a million things started processing through your head.

vinnie saw your blank expression and pulled you back into him, your head on his shoulder as he rubbed your back.

it was silly, almost like you were overreacting. you couldn’t help it though.

“why.” is all you could say, too focused on trying not to cry over this.

vinnie sighed. “remember how i got into modeling but it never really got anywhere?” he asks.

you glance up at him and nod with a smile. “well,” he starts. “a modeling agency called me and said they’d love to hire me on, i’d just have to live out there.”

the world stopped for you. you’re happy for him, ecstatic even, but you don’t know what you’re gonna do without him.

you felt dumb for letting his life effect you like this. vinnie was his own person with his own life and responsibilities, of course he wasn’t going to be living with you forever.

maybe the fact he’s moving to a different state is what’s hitting you so hard. you didn’t know what for sure, all you knew was you’ll be okay again eventually.

“don’t cry bubba,” vinnie wipes your tear stained cheeks, kissing your forehead softly. “this is good, then you can visit me, and it’ll only be a few hours time difference.”

you smiled at how he was seeing the situation. you’re happy for him, but the separation anxiety you have towards him is what’s keeping you from wanting to say go for it.

“what am i gonna do without you?” you ask.

vinnie sighs, he knows he’s your number one supporter and he’d do anything for you. you just don’t know what you’d do when he’s not here.

“you have your college friends, right?” the blonde asks, you nod. “see, there you go. just found out what you’ll do while i’m gone.” he smiles.

you give him a small smile and his heart breaks. he hates seeing you so upset. he didn’t mean to upset you with this news, he thought you’d be happy for him.

“i’m happy for you, vinnie,” you say after moments of silence. “i’m just so worried how my anxiety will be, you’ve helped me through it the most.”

he nods. “i know, bug,” he hugs you tightly. “you’ve been doin’ good though. that doctor you see prescribed you meds right? you takin’ them?” he asks you.

you nod. “yeah they help. you help better though.” you reply.

vinnie smiles at you before hugging you again. he and you both knew this would be an adjustment for the both of you, but you’ll get through it.

as the sun starts to set, the two of you decide to pack up for the night and go home.

“hey you know what you can do now if someone in the house starts to piss you off?” vinnie asks as the two of you walk to his car.

you smile, already knowing what he’s about to say. “what’s that?” you ask.

“i’ll buy you a ticket out there so you can get away for awhile.” he says with a laugh.

you laugh with him and give him a hug. “i love you vin, thank you for everything you’ve done to help me.”

he smiles at you, expressing so much love for you. he knows you’ll be okay in the end, and he’s always one call away if you need anything.

“i love you more bubba. my number one supporter forever, right?”

you smile widely and nod, he ruffles your hair before the two of you get into the car.

you knew deep down you’d be okay, it just might take some time to get to that point.

hi hi hi !! i’m sorry i’ve been so inactive, i was super busy this past weekend and im just so mentally exhausted i think LMAO

but i hope you all liked this !! its a bit different from what i usually write but i had this idea and decided to try it out !!

tags: @anqeliclust , @cosmicanakin , @forevergirlposts , @bernelflo , @visualbutterflysworld , @slvthrs , @venusblakes , @leqonsluv3r , @louloulemons-blog , @lovingsturniolo , @pepsicolapussy333 , @hallecarey1 , @0strawberrysorbet0 , @laylasbunbunny , @kriissy4gov , @kayleighh , @defnotayonna , @violet0182 , @st4rswrld

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 4 - MONTH 3 - GROWING PAINS

First - Prev - Next

Everything hurts.

I started noticing it about two weeks after my first dose. It felt like a dull headache at first, but over the next month it spread to pretty much my entire body.

I had to start working from home, and eventually it got bad enough that I could only put in a few hours of work each day. My boss is a reasonable enough guy, but he wasn't going to pay a full time salary for part time hours, so I had to take a salary cut.

Luckily, my partner is around to take care of daily errands, not to mention being there to reassure and comfort me when the pain gets bad. They've been thinking about seeing if Lindwurm HRT is a thing, but they don't want to get the process started until I'm in the clear and can take care of myself again.

Gods I love them.

The reason the pain is happening, as best I can tell, is that my skeletal structure is already changing. I've gotten at least an inch taller, and my face has been reshaping into a feline muzzle. My teeth are getting sharper, and I'm developing proper fangs. I also noticed a little while ago that my fingernails and toenails had receded into their respective digits, which sucks for two reasons - I can't paint fingernails I don't have, and they are sore as HELL when I put any amount of pressure on them. I have to be REALLY careful with how I type to not inflict agony on myself. I'm also feeling my tail growing in, and even if it hurts, it's euphoric as HELL. A tail was always the part I wanted most out of this.

It's weird, the skeletal changes weren't supposed to happen this early. I've been trying to reach Dr. Erian about it, but he's constantly busy, probably because of the sudden surge of people looking for Humanity Removal Therapy.

Other than that, I've been getting areas of white and black fur coming in - mostly on my arms and legs, but a little bit on my face and ears - ears that are gradually reshaping and migrating. Nothing to report on hearing sensitivity, but I think my night vision is getting better.

I did a little bit of looking around for anyone with similar pain experiences. I got my hopes up when I found a girl, Antonina, who had a painful experience with Cat HRT, but it turns out it's because she took the rumoured Fifteen Minute version. She described the pain as "like bathing in an active volcano".

It leaves me wondering whether I would have preferred a 15-minute lava bath over a months-long full-body headache.

I ended up reaching out to her anyway, just because I wanted to know what I was in for in the endgame and feline HRT is rarer than I thought it would be. Sounds like the prey drive is the real deal - she keeps feeling the urge to bite this one girl who's on mouse HRT.

We've been spending some time comparing notes and getting to know each other. It's nice to know someone else who's going through this thing, even if our experiences aren't exactly one-to-one.

I also talked to my mother for the first time in nearly a year. I went No Contact with her a while back because she was only getting more obnoxious and combative about me being trans, but I figured changing my species is a big enough deal that I should keep her in the loop.

Besides, my savings had nearly dried up and I needed to ask her for money.

It… did not go well. She hadn't heard of therian HRT before, and once I explained it, she started panicking about how I'm "mutilating my body" with "untested treatments". I think I also heard her cry something about how her "son" is "killing himself", which is just multiple layers of insensitive.

At least she sent me some money. Hopefully it'll be enough to last until my transformation stops being agonizing and I can go back to work, and then I can go right back to pretending my family doesn't exist.

At roughly the three-month mark, I have a check-in video call with Dr. Erian. From the moment his face appears on screen, though, I can tell something is wrong. He seems… older, somehow.

"Hello, Miss Alexis.", he offers. He sounds tired. Sorrowful, even.

"Hey, doc." I have to ask about it. "Everything okay? You seem a bit tired."

"Nothing to worry about Miss Alexis, just the ordinary stresses of daily life."

Liar. I know I'm not entitled to details of your personal life, much less your professional secrets, but I know when something is eating at someone.

"…Does the word 'crossroads' mean anything to you, Miss Alexis?"

Huh? That came a bit out of left field. "I've… heard some other therian HRT patients use the term, but I don't know much of the details. Something about a point of no return?"

"Something of the sort." He lowers his head and seems to go from sorrowful to downright grim. "There will come a time, Miss Alexis, when you will have to make a very important decision in your care, and I ask that you do so with great consideration for the consequences."

I recoil a little in my seat. "Yeah… Of course I will. Any decision I make, even reaching out to you in the first place, I don't take it lightly."

"Good… That's good." His demeanor shifts back to his stoic, clinical self. I don't know what just happened, but he went somewhere for a moment there.

"Now then, I did receive your messages, I apologize for not getting back to you. You mentioned you were experiencing persistent and debilitating whole-body soreness?"

"Yeah. I can't even leave the apartment most days, it hurts so much."

"Odd… You are taking the treatment as directed, yes?"

"Of course. One tablespoon a week, just like it says on the bottle."

I see his eyes twitch behind his glasses. Did I say something wrong?

"…Teaspoon."

I cock my head to the side. "Say again?"

"You mean one TEASPOON a week, yes?"

I feel my heart sink. The dark smear on the dosage information… I could have sworn it said '1 tbsp/week'.

"…Could you hold on a second please?" I mute the mic and call out to my partner to bring the bottle of tiger HRT over. When they do, I unmute and hold it up to the webcam. I hear Dr. Erian take a sharp intake of breath as he notices the obscured instructions.

I set the bottle aside and the two of us share an awkward silence.

"So…", I begin. "…How bad is it?"

"The good news", he offers slowly, "is that you have only been taking three times the prescribed dose. An increased dose imbalances the growth rate of the different parts of your body, hence your pain and persistent weakness, but it could have been much worse."

I think back to the so-called Fifteen Minute version, and Antonina's description of it - like bathing in an active volcano.

Dr. Erian continues. "Assuming you return to a CORRECT dose, your growth rates will gradually level out over the course of the next month or so. It is my medical opinion that you should maintain a low-activity lifestyle until then, but you will eventually be able to return to your typical activity level, and you will also find that the physical effects become more… consistent."

"That's… reassuring. Thank you, doctor." I pause. Something I noticed a little while ago has been weighing on my mind. "There's one thing, though - do the treatments have… I guess you'd call them restorative or regenerative effects? I've noticed some old wounds aren't there anymore."

The doctor clicks his pen and brings up his notepad. "Interesting. Do go on, Miss Alexis."

"Well… I used to get lower back pain from a car crash injury I got a little over a year ago, but I haven't noticed it at all lately. Pretty much the only part that DOESN'T hurt… There also used to be some marks on my arm from a cat biting me when I was little." I give a slight smile. "The cat's name was Tiger, go figure."

Dr. Erian is writing the whole time I'm talking. "Yes, that is to be expected. Minor persistent injuries will fade over time as your body re-forms itself to a new baseline, even severe chronic symptoms may fade. If there are no other concerns…"

"Just one… Most of the other therian HRT patients I've talked to have gotten their meds as pills, so what's with the potion bottle?"

Dr. Erian pauses, and adjusts his glasses nervously, as if he's been caught out on something he doesn't want to admit to. "Well… advances in the field are occurring rapidly, and you are one of the more recent patients, so a more… streamlined option was available to you. I took the liberty of choosing the most compatible option based on your medical records, and that bottle is it."

"Okay… But what's IN it?"

"The active ingredients are antihominidone, which is your humanity-blocker, and a specialized formula of felistrogen, infused with white tiger genetic material. The rest of the fluid is a suspension used to dilute the effects, without which you would be looking at a short, but excruciating and potentially lethal process."

The Fifteen Minute version, I think to myself. I'm taking diluted Fifteen Minute meds. There's no WAY this isn't experimental, and I'M the experiment. I despise saying it, but maybe my mother was right to worry.

"But I'm afraid I really do have to go, Miss Alexis, my next appointment is waiting."

"G-gotcha. See ya, doctor."

---

Special thanks to @paintedbytosia for letting me write her in, and shoutout to @megamoonerjenny for coming up with 'antihominidone'

[1997starcandy]

jfk x jackie one-shots!

noticed that many of you on here wanted more jfk x jackie fics and i did too and so i waited but got a little impatient and thought, why not write some myself!!! anyway, i’ve never done this before and tried my best to stay true to history and their real-life counterparts. i hope i don’t disappoint and most of these were, unfortunately, quite rushed and messy with minimal proof so i apologize in advance :(((

“miss bouvier?” a young assistant, barely out of college, held out an envelope with a sheepish smile. “a man in a suit dropped this off for you. he said it was important.”

jackie thanked her before taking the envelope and watching her disappear down the hall. what was it now? she thought, trying to breathe through the headache pounding behindher eyes.

she’d been late - the cab she’d rushed to catch broke down halfway, and by th time she arrived at the office, she was already behind on a deadline. even the typewriter seemed determined to conspire against her, jamming so often she’d nearly tossed it out the window. by two o’ clock, her blouse had wrinkled and had been stained with blotches of coffee. really, she’d had half a mind to cancel the whole afternoon, but just when she thought she might’ve been at wit’s end, she recognized the scrawl across the front of the telegram.

AM TRYING TO GET THROUGH A REPORT, BUT YOU, JACQUELINE, HAVE ME SO DISTRACTED I’VE HARDLY GOT THE FAINTEST CLUE WHAT I’M READING. IF THE COUNTRY FALLS APART, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.

IT’S MUCH TOO DULL COUNTING DOWN THE MINUTES. PLEASE HURRY AND RELIEVE THIS POOR SENATOR OF HIS AGONY.

JACK

she leaned back in her chair and read it again, unable to suppress the smile that followed. trust jack to send something that, despite being equal parts ridiculous and endearing, was exactly what she needed. 

whatever else the day had in store, she’d learn to manage it somehow. and if she couldn’t, well, she supposed jack could shoulder the blame this time. 

the car was too fast for jackie’s liking, but she didn’t mind. 

jack had picked her up outside her office shortly after four, his car parked half a block away, engine idling, as if he hadn’t wanted to attract too much attention. 

“i thought you and i could use an escape for a while,” he said, his mouth curling into a half-smile once she’d settled into her seat.

an escape, she mused quietly - but he didn’t need to explain. by that point, jackie had learned that jack kennedy never really asked. he suggested, he beckoned, and people followed. 

the air carried the chill of autumn, though the sun was still warm enough to glid everything it touched. her scarf fluttered against her cheek as the wind rushed past, and she reached up to hold it in place. a new hermès - navy and gold, bought impulsively, the colors complementing the neat suit she’d worn to work that morning.

jack reached over, his fingers brushing lightly against her cheek as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. his touch lingered there for just a moment, soft and purposeful. “you’re not nervous, are you?” he asked, his tone light but probing. 

“of course not,” she said, though hemr own fingers betrayed her, curling tightly around the edge of her seat. 

he laughed then, the kind that felt like it wasn’t mean to disarm you but did anyway. “good. because there’s no going slow in this life, jackie. not if you want to get anywhere worth going.”

she studied his profile for a moment - sharp, assured, touched by the glow of the setting sun. he had a recklessness to him, but it was oddly measured and thoughtful in a way that came from someone who knew exactly how far he could push before the world would bend to meet him. 

“where are we going, then?” she asked, trying to match his nonchalance while ignoring the thrill seeping in. 

“you’ll see.”

she wanted to tell him she was already there - that sitting next to him felt like the kind of adventure she’d spent her life waiting for. but she didn’t. maybe another time. instead, she leaned back and loosened her grip on the seat until her hands were flying around the fabric of his suit, laughing as she mentioned something about him needing to work on his style - and him brushing off the comment with a casual flick of his finger at his collar - before adjusting the pearl clip that held her hair in place and letting the wind tangle through the strands as the car surged forward, its force as electric as the man driving it.

meeting the kennedys was like stepping into another world - a loud, chaotic, and impossibly magnetic one. jack’s siblings filled the house with noise and energy, while jackie was still trying to get her bearings when they were all ushered to ethe dinner table. 

before they sat down, jack said to jackie with a grin, “they’re like sharks. if they sense weakness, you’re chum.” 

“thanks, jack. very reassuring.” 

she smoothed her dress and straightened up, glancing at him. “do you think ‘sweet jackie’ could perfect this? oh, i never thought about it that way! my, mrs. kennedy, what lovely china! is that limoges?” 

jack snorted and leaned in, just a bit - “what about ‘just jackie’?” came his suggestion. 

she smiled and relaxed. “i like that.” 

everyone took their seats, and for a while, jackie let their conversation stack all up on one another. it wasn’t long before bobby leaned over, his grin conspiratorial. “so, jackie,” he said, loud enough to draw the room’s attention, “how do you put up with my brother?” 

‘just jackie’ didn’t miss a beat. “selective hearing,” she said lightly, raising her glass fora sip of her cocktail, “and a lot of prayer.” 

the table erupted into laughter, even jack, who was shaking his head. “you’ll fit in just fine,” he murmured to her afterwards, reaching under the table to briefly squeeze her hand.

jack had asked jackie to be his date to eisenhower’s inaugural ball, and she found herself accepting surprisingly quickly. how could she reject an evening spent in jack’s company? it was hard to say no to him, but of course, she’d never let him know that. 

when she stepped into the main rolm, she noticed jack’s eyes on her immediately. he was standing by the door, looking impossibly calm for someone who had been waiting pins and needles for her to show up. his expression didn’t betray him - his hands were tucked casually in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed - but the moment she began walking towards him, he softened just the slightest, and she wondered if he was even seeing anyone else.

“christ, jackie…”

she couldn’t help smiling, tilting her head just enough to flatter him. “good or bad?”

“good. good,” he said quickly. “it’s just you.”

she slid her arm through his and followed his steps. “well, don’t let the rest of the room think it’s just me.”

“never. you always did that part yourself.”

they wove through the crowd for a while, exchanging nods and polite greetings. at one point, jackie felt slightly overwhelmed by all the formality - and wondered how people like jack could do this forever and not lose the will to live - but jack’s proximity had a way of keeping her grounded. eventually, they ended up in the ballroom, where the orchestra struck up a waltz that seemed far more elegant than either of them. still, they tried. jack wasn’t the most graceful dancer - his movements were a bit stiff, his rhythm half a step off - but jackie didn’t care the slightest. in fact, she found herself laughing as he spun her a little too quickly, sending her off balance and nearly collidin g with another couple.

“jack!” she gasped, clutching his shoulder to steady herself. “if you do that again, you might ruin my shoes.”

“don’t worry,” he said, his grin unrepentant. “i’ve no problem buying you new ones.”

“oh, aren’t you presumptuous…” she teased. 

“no. actually, i might ruin a lot of things for you, jackie - shoes, plans, maybe even a heart or two. but i promise, i’ll always replace them with something better.”

she wasn’t entirely sure what he meant, but the way he said it eased her enough that she didn’t feel compelled to pick it apart. 

as the night wore on and the crowd thinned, jack and jackie slipped away to a quieter, more secluded corner near a marble column. he loosened his bowtie, his fingers tugging at it until it hung undone around his collar. he leaned back, his energy simmering but still jack - not the senator, not the kennedy, just the man who, when he was with her, gave her all his time and attention. 

“did you have fun?” 

“i did,” she said, walking over beside him, and she doesn’t think she’d ever meant anything more.

he turned towards her slightly. “jackie.”

“yes?”

“would it be presumptuous of me if i kissed you?”

she hesitated for just a moment. then, tilting her chin up ever so slightly - “extremely.”

he kissed her then, his hand brushing lightly against her cheek. his lips were warm and firm but not insistent, the scent of him - cologne and the faintest hint of smoke - leaving jackie spellbound. his touch was steady, his thumb grazing her jaw, and when he finally pulled back, she found herself breathless, her hands on the lapel of his jacket, her heart racing in a way she had both fully expected and yet completely failed to prepare for.

“i told you id ruin something.”

she laughed softly, shaking her head. “and what do you plan on replacing it with?”

“guess you’ll have to stick around and find out.”

and against all better judgment, she knew she would.

mr. kennedy had orchestrated every detail to perfection, but none of the grandeur mattered - not the flowers arranged just so, not the orchestra playing as though the fate of western civilization rested on their tempo, not the battalion of photographers angling for posterity - because all she could see was jack. after the ceremony, the newlyweds stepped out of the cathedral into a sunlight so fierce that it felt as thoughthe heavens had chosen to celebrate alongside everyone else. the crowd roared, the church bells clanged, but for the life of her, she couldn’t summon the usual concern over how they looked or what anyone thought. she was just happy, and that felt sufficient. 

the cake towered like something out of a fairy tale - four feet tall, each tier wrapped in ornate, sugary icing that looked more like embroidery and seemed too delicate to cut. but tradition waits for no art, and cut it they did, jack’s hand covering jackie’s gloved one as they worked the knife through the first layer. everyone gathered around the table broke into applause, followed by a cacophony of laughter when jack smeared the faintest dab of frosting on jackie’s wrist before brushing it off with a chaste kiss. next came the toasts - kind words from family and friends, some touching, others ribbing. jack gave a toast of his own, standing tall and proud with a glass in hand as he thanked everyone for sharing in “the happiest day of his life.” 

the remainder of september 12 felt like a dream, the kind you never want to wake from. a s the hours passed and the crowd began to thin, the music softened into a light refrain. 

~

the newlyweds retreated at last, their laughter echoing throughout the long, quiet hallway leading to their suite. 

“do you think they’ll notice we’re gone?” jackie asked, glancing over her shoulder as if expecting someone to be hot on their heels, ready to report their escape. 

“let them. they’ve had enough of us for one day.” 

shelaughed, leaning slightly into him as they continued walking, though she could hardly take another step with the puff of her dress weighing her down. “jack, this feels like sneaking out of school.” 

“if we’re caught, i’ll just say my wife made me do it.” 

when they reached the door, jack pushed it open and stepped aside to let her in first. “mrs. kennedy, your palace awaits.” 

she wasted no time in kicking off her shoes, the sound of them hitting the floor strangely satisfying after such an exhausting yet exhilarating day. “if i don’t lie down right now, i might collapse,” she said, sinking onto the edge of the bed with a dramatic sigh. 

jack closed the door, his tie askew and his hair slightly wild now, looking less like the polished groom from earlier and more like the jack she knew best. 

“tired already?”

“you should try spending hours in this dress. it’s a miracle i haven’t fainted.” 

“do you want me to call someone to carry you to bed? a secret service agent, perhaps?”

she rolled her eyes. “very funny.” 

“let me help you get comfortable.” he deftly began undoing the buttons of her dress, each one coming undone as the dress slid off her shoulders and pooled around her feet, leaving her in her slip. 

“comfortable yet?”

“not quite…” 

he kneeled down in front of her, his fingers grazing her ankle as he began unfastening the clasp of her stocking. he worked slowly, his gaze flickering up to meet hers every so often, as if to test her. 

“you’re taking your time.”

“that’s the idea,” he murmured, moving to her other leg and tracing a light path up her calf before sliding the second stocking off with a slowness that felt all too maddening. when he finished, his hands smoothed up her thighs, pausing at the hem of her slip. “better?” 

“almost.” 

a few heavenly seconds passed, then - “jack?”

“mmm?”

“i love you.” 

the change in him was immediate, as if her words had ignited a fire within him. he slid his hands higher, gripping her waist firmly as he pulled her closer to the edge of the bed. he kissed her deeper, harder, and broke the kiss only long enough to look at her intently, his breath warm against her cheek. “you’re incredible, you know that?” 

he leaned back then, his hands lingering on the straps of her slip. “you don’t need this anymore, do you?” she shook her head as he slid the straps down her shoulders, the silky fabric sliding slowly over her skin. then he worked his way down her body with deliberate care, kneeling between her legs, his hands pressing against her thighs as he loitered sensual kisses to the inside of her knee, trailing higher with each gasp she released. 

“jack,” she whispered. 

“would you like me to stop?”

“never.” she was about to say something else but could no longer find her voice as she was lost in the trance of his hands, his mouth.

“i love you too,” he said softly. “and i… am about to show you just how much.”

he was everywhere this time, his movements raw and desperate, as though he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. her hands found his hair, his back, his shoulders - anything she could reach, really - pulling his bare chest closer to her own as his name fell from her lips.

for a second, her mind drifted. so many people, so much to manage, so many little things she still had to think about - the thank-you notes she’d need to write, the calls to return, the endless appointments, the new life ahead of her that she would share with jack.  

but those thoughts faded as quickly as they came. none of those things mattered, at least not right now. for once, everything else could wait.