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1997starcandy · 22 days ago

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heyyy! i’m just starting to learn more about the kennedys and i would love to learn more about the relationship between jfk and bobby because from what i understand, they were incredibly close during jfk’s presidency and it seems like bobby was one of the only people jfk truly trusted among his circle of advisors and i’m also just really fascinated by bobby’s deep love and loyalty for his brother like him constantly putting himself on the line even at the cost of his own reputation to support and protect him.

also, if you have any book recs on them specifically or the kennedys in general, i’d love to dive into those as well!!! 🤍

of course !!! learning about them for the first time is so exciting because every kennedy dynamic, for better or worse, held so many intricacies, it’s really just endless. but you’re right on point! they did become incredibly close in their own way in later years, but it took a couple of bumps on the road to get there.

from the getgo, i think bobby was always drawn to jack more than he was to joe jr. that’s not to say that bobby didn’t revere joe, he did! but joe could still be pugnacious and impatient, a bit of a bully. jack was more the thoughtful type; he wouldn’t so much as hit you with a caustic remark or punch as he’d tease you in that dry, playful way of his. and this is me only guessing here but - bobby was always the underdog, yes, but i believe that in his young eyes, when he’d see his two older brothers fighting and tussling on the living room floor, he must’ve viewed jack as sort of an underdog too and identified with him.

compared to joe’s brawniness, jack was sickly and thin, always losing the physical fights. he would wiggle under his brother, trying to get loose, but to no avail; and bobby was the one they’d sign up for boxing competitions to toughen him up. so there was that slight parallel between them there already. besides, jack always found a way to have fun with it; he provoked joe jr in ways that made the family laugh, including bobby. to a younger sibling, this would have made jack much more approachable. bobby probably also saw the way that their father would sometimes undermine jack in favor of literally his number one boy - joe jr. nonetheless, jack managed to prosper within the family hierarchy and his own life, amidst his health struggles - that was without a doubt a huge source of inspiration to bobby who once said, as a teenager, that his brother had more courage than anyone else he knew.

now, they had an eight year age gap, which was significant. jack had already graduated harvard by the time that bobby was getting sent off to boarding school. it’s expected that a twenty something year old boy wouldn’t have paid much attention to one of his younger siblings, especially in a big family.

i do hesitate, however, to accept the accounts of most biographers that try to drill into the reader that jack and bobby weren’t close at all growing up. it sounds very… black and white to me. i would say that when they were both younger and still at home, jack humored his younger brother as any older sibling generally does - not to any grand extent, but enough. after school, jack would take bobby out on walks, talking to him about his fictional heroes, ranging from swashbuckling to james-bond-esque novels, getting bobby hooked on them too. there are so many photos of kid bobby hanging around jack - tagging along with lem and his friends at the pool, the beach, or on a sailboat; watching eunice leave for buckingham palace from their london terrace, just the two of them, no other sibling in sight; sightseeing together with pat; both of them being the only ones to goof around in certain pictures - or those home videos of jack and bobby racing each other in the pool or of jack chasing bobby around in their french villa. all of that speaks for itself, i think. they weren’t two peas in a pod but there wasn’t some crazy distance between them either - at least not during that time.

one thing i find incredibly telling in terms of how subtly protective jack was over his little brother - which speaks to chuck spalding’s later recollection of how jack was indeed protective of him and viewed bobby as “the sacred one” - is when joe sr. wrote to jack while he was in the pacific and told him that bobby was begging him to let him enlist - but jack quite literally advised against it. “to try to come steaming out here at 18 is no good. it’s just that the fun goes out of war in a fairly short time and i don’t think bobby is ready to come out yet.”

could this be read as jack underestimating his brother’s readiness? yes, but i don’t think he necessarily wrote it with that intention, and he made a decent point. jack experienced things during the war that haunted him and took away his sense of confidence that no matter what happened he’d always be able to get through, which is saying something considering all of the near death experiences he’d had since childhood. and with knowing how sensitive bobby was, jack seemingly didn’t want bobby at his young age to have to go through that. and of course in his own letters to bobby, he hides this and instead playfully condescends to him: “i’d like to know what the hell i’m doing out here, while you go stroking around in my drape coat, but i suppose that what we are out here for—or so they tell us—is so that our sisters and younger brothers will be safe and secure. frankly, i don’t see it quite that way—at least if you’re going to be safe and secure, that’s fine with me, but not in my coat, brother, not in my coat.” the complete switch-up in tone when you compare both letters kills me every time !

though with jack and bobby moving in opposite directions whilst living through a war, it would’ve been hard to maintain that already-flimsy thread that they had going on. and with joe jr’s death, that’s where i think the distance was truly compounded. jack didn’t have time or the energy to really humor bobby anymore. he was still recovering from his war injuries when joe sr. drafted him for the plans he’d initially envisioned for joe jr. - jack had become the heir apparent and it was time to start abiding by certain standards. that must’ve been a lot for a 27 year old young man, who had just returned from war, to hear. he didn’t even have time to assess what he’d seen and experienced, let alone his brother’s death. jackie later said that when she asked him if there was something he regretted, he responded by saying that he wished he had lived a little more, had more fun. i think that sense of genuine regret and loss in terms of himself stems back to this.

it’s at this time that jack started keeping bobby at a distance in a way that seems almost purposeful, but subconsciously so. and as it goes, jack might’ve slightly resented bobby’s youth, his lack of responsibility at the time, his freedom. there’s an anecdote that kind of speaks to this a bit - jack had left with a woman the evening after his brother’s wedding. they’d seen a film, had a late dinner, and throughout that entire night, jack couldn’t stop droning on about the seriousness of the vows his younger brother had made, the solemnity of it, the fact that bobby had done it at all. we often speak about how much bobby revered jack, but i think there’s something to be said about how jack, during this time, might’ve envied bobby just a little. everything was turning out just fine for bobby. he’d grown up, he’d found someone he loved and gotten married, and he was off on his honeymoon, currently living a life he had more or less chosen for himself. that whole event must’ve been something of a whiplash for jack who was living a stifling, hectic life of politics while holding onto a half-life of the past that didn’t fully click anymore with his present reality.

by the early 50s, jack and bobby were more distant than they’d ever been. it’s not like they avoided each other or had some sort of rivalry going on - they were simply on different paths that had had no reason to converge yet. they still spent time together in hyannisport with the family, still saw each other on certain occasions, but as eunice once said, they weren’t blood brothers by any means. it wasn’t until joe sr. forced them onto a trip together that jack had no other choice but to spend an extended amount of time with bobby - grudgingly so at first. but jack was shocked and pleased by his brother’s insights and energy. and when jack got sick on the trip, bobby cemented himself as a steady presence that calmed the nurses and an anxious, bedridden jack. that stuck with jack. their bond visibly benefitted from the trip when they returned, but it was only the beginning of their eventual brotherly closeness.

what really shifted their relationship was bobby’s involvement in the senate campaign. it’s somewhat confusing how it came to be, just because there’s two versions of the story but i think it went down something like this: the campaign was in a state of chaos. without jack’s knowledge, kenny o’ donnell, bobby’s college buddy and campaign aide, took bobby out to dinner and called him a few times to get him working on the campaign - but bobby demurred every time. jack found out and berated kenny for it, which led to this huge argument where kenny straight-up told him that the campaign was going nowhere and that no one had the guts or the qualifications to stand up to joe sr. - bobby was the only one who could do so while jack was away. jack reluctantly agreed and told him to call up bobby. when kenny reached out once more and told bobby about the disarray the campaign was in and that they really needed his help, bobby got angry. he had just been granted his first real case at the justice department. he was forging a life with his growing family and a career of his own. it didn’t benefit him and his family to go and help; he knew nothing about politics and said he’d just “screw it up” before hanging up. but a week later, he called kenny back and reluctantly took on the task in a resigned tone.

although he was initially resistant to give up his own independence and life outside of the aspirations of his father and jack, he did so anyway out of the loyalty he had for his family. something that i think often gets lost in the narrative is that bobby did long for his own independence, as they all did. what he did, shelving his own ambitions for jack time and time again, took a lot of sacrifice. and he did it for his brother. he reshaped his ambitions and molded them into something that would always serve jack and he did it without ever begrudging jack for it, even if he did seem to subconsciously resent it at times; and if there was anyone he begrudged, it was his father.

and so jack began to understand that bobby was someone he could depend on completely, someone utterly devoted to him and his political success. starting from the senate, bobby proved himself a worthy confidant and adviser, someone with tremendous ability. he helped jack win a democratic campaign against a republican incumbent under a republican administration. they faced difficult odds together, worked in sync, and triumphed. jack was one out of twelve democrats elected to the senate.

bobby had become indispensable to jack. it’s at this time that jack started spending more time with bobby as well. as a young senator, he would sometimes go and visit bobby and ethel - and this is something that’s often overlooked and even contradicted! but well into his marriage with jackie, the four of them would dine regularly together and that only stopped after jack became president.

another thing - when bobby was in mccarthy’s committee, and tensions quickly began brewing as bobby diverged more and more from their tactics, he got into a fistfight with roy cohn (as he should!) and shaken by the confrontation, he immediately went to jack who advised him - so little brother coded, might i add! again, it’s moments like these where you see how jack looked out for bobby too; someone saw them huddled together, speaking in low tones, and it was shortly after that, that bobby left the committee.

i also think that although joe sr. pushed for bobby to become attorney general, it’s something that jack still wanted. he was hesitant to do so because he knew what the headlines would say, but he knew just as well as his father that he needed bobby in his cabinet. a political partner and adviser that could fend off his enemies and bobby was that guy. bobby’s desire for independence though had returned after the presidential election. for weeks, bobby was torn between wanting to be there for his brother and wanting to finally forge a path of his own. it’s telling how bobby told his brother over the phone that he wouldn’t be his attorney general and that the press would practically have a field day with them if jack appointed him, and jack’s response was - “don’t tell me now…” because he’d already called in the press to meet them outside his georgetown home the following morning.

jack had already made his decision. he wanted his brother with him and keep in mind, this held higher risks than when bobby had come in to manage his senatorial campaign - this was the presidency, the attorney generalship, and bobby had never practiced law. jack at least saw the validity in his father’s wishes. so he told bobby to meet him for breakfast in the morning to talk about it further. that’s when he told him that he would need a cabinet member who could be honest with him and that he didn’t want to hear any arguments from his brother. the closest we’ll ever get to bobby’s live reaction is in the newsreel clips where bobby scoffs whenever jack praises him and looks abashed as hell to even be out there. you can literally see him being second hand embarrassed - for himself! it’s like something out of an episode of veep and i’m not even kidding!

the thing is, bobby wasn’t very happy with his appointment. he was somewhat rueful and fatalistic about it - feeling that he’d had no choice in the matter and felt like he maybe never had. like it was all inevitable. bobby’s devotion to jack is so significant because it could’ve faltered easily in moments like these, but it never did. he remained steadfast in his obligation to his brother.

during the first few months of jack’s presidency, bobby advised him and called him from time to time, but jack felt that he had better and more informed advisers, which on paper, he did. but what really united the brothers towards what some would call a co-presidency was the bay of pigs. an anxious jack called in his brother as the invasion started going awry, basically from the jump, but that’s neither here nor there! bobby began working the scene, bypassing the authority of multiple cabinet members, trying to find a solution as jack paced. jack had always been able to depend on his brother and trust him wholeheartedly. and he realized that that was truer than ever now that he was president surrounded by educated strangers with differing agendas. bobby began collaborating with his brother, speaking for him whenever jack needed certain cabinet members to take some private heat. it was after the bay of pigs that bobby became jack’s most trusted adviser, involved in every major foreign and domestic policy decision. even when his whole team of advisers were against or for something, but bobby was leaning the other way, jack always trusted bobby’s judgement first and foremost.

bobby, even for years before this, had always shown up when jack needed somebody, and i think that piece of knowledge finally became ingrained and fully appreciated in jack’s mind. he became more open with him, exposing vulnerabilities jack wouldn’t have done with others. jack would choose other people to have fun with and dine with during his presidency since bobby was there almost every day anyway, but jack relied on bobby politically and emotionally. bobby became a pillar for jack. jack still lightly mocked him from time to time - he’d gravely call him ‘bob’ in front of his staffers because he knew how much his brother disliked being addressed as ‘bobby’ by colleagues - but not as much as he used to. he was not afraid to commend bobby in front of others. on the last night of the cuban missile crisis, jack weightily told dave powers, “thank god for bobby,” and then told an editor “i wish very much so that i had two bobbies.” (lol) and also told charles bartlett “i don’t know what bobby does, but it always seems to turn out right” the brothers of all time and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.

observers would say that even when the brothers sat far apart at a table, they would still pick up on each other’s jokes and remarks and glances. they could be a world away from each other, but were still in sync and aware of each other, showing how united the brothers had truly become.

as for books - recently i’ve been reading kate storey’s white house by the sea. it’s a fascinating book that goes into the history of the house and hyannisport (in terms of the family) more deeply than anything i’ve ever seen and has some new (to me at least) anecdotes about the family which is always a win for a kennedy gal! everything i’ve gathered about bobby and jack’s relationship has come from documentaries and some of my favorite, most profound, and unbiased biographies about the two men - robert kennedy: his life by evan thomas & jfk: coming of age in the american century, frederik logevall (which is the basis for the jfk limited series currently ? in development) so i would definitely recommend those! however thanks to your ask :) i just found out that there is, in fact, a book that mainly focuses on their relationship and its effect on bobby called robert kennedy, brother protector. i can’t speak for it myself, but such a book does exist! (and i will be checking it out soon)

some of my other kennedy book recs are: a historical fiction about jackie, jackie by dawn tripp; american’s reluctant prince by steven m. gillon, a jfk jr biography and my first ever foray into the kennedy’s; bare with me here but ted kennedy’s true compass memoir, it has a lot of lore about the family so i would say it’s worth a read; the nine of us by jean kennedy smith, another memoir from an original kennedy family member; and finding jackie by oline eaton, the only jackie biography i would stand ten toes down for!

i know you didn’t ask, but if there are any docs you want to watch but might need help finding, feel free to let me know! i know firsthand how hard it is to find obscure kennedy media and wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy lol. anyway hope this was helpful and hope you have the best time diving into the kennedy lore <3

#when all of jfk’s senior advisors were against his nationally televised speech on framing civil rights as a moral issue #EXCEPT bobby #and ofc he went ahead with it anyway

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