#I almost wasnt going to post this set anymore because I got so busy these days and I didnt have time to finish it ;;

[jung-koook]

one thing's for sure is that I will never ever recover from this

[gojoyogurt]

Jujutsu Kaisen Christmas!!

jjk headcanon!

characters: every character introduced in the anime so far! and you of course hehe

plot: everyone is invited to jujutsu tech for a christmas party, including the unidentified special grade curses that have the ability to talk but... ITS CHRISTMAS.

as you guys were preparing for the party in the function room, panda kept trying to eat all the snacks so nobara had kept trying to hold him back (to no avail because she eventually got crushed underneath him)

gojo... was nowhere to be found OBVIOUSLY and the curses gang were just chilling outside. you were lowkey praying that jogo wouldnt set anything on fire before the party even started.

megumi was just hanging around with itadori and junpei, playing with his gyokuken (divine dogs) [honestly wouldnt that just be so cute]

you, maki-san and mai-san were busy setting up everything and also having small chit chats here and there.

since gojo wasnt there yet, ijichi-san was everywhere, both panicking and pissed since gojo was NEVER on time no matter what the event was.

nanami couldnt be bothered anymore to settle the situation so he was quietly reading at one corner.

inumaki was just vibing to the christmas music playing in the background with panda after wrestling with nobara.

before the party started, a very popular christmas song that was trending on vikvok started playing, being the great senpai he is, todo dragged itadori to the middle of the room to start dancing with him alongside inumaki and panda.

it was already around 7.30pm and gojo wasnt there yet so yall just decided to start without him to not waste anytime

everyone gathered around the table that had food on it, “LETS EAT IM STARVING” jogo suddenly screamed in the room with his fire coming out of almost every hole in his head.

“now now, jogo, be patient.” mahito calmly cooled down jogo to prevent the fire hazard from creating havoc during the party.

“who thought it was a good idea to invite the curses here...” megumi sighed as he shot eye darts at junpei, which junpei completely avoided.

“c’mon!, the more the merrier!” you said as you thought that they really shouldn’t have come, but it was all the make junpei happy so...

as the party started, everyone was just going around getting food. everything was smooth sailing until... itadori suddenly spreads cake icing over megumi... yeah megumi was both pissed and confused at the same time so he chased itadori around the table. itadori was laughing his ass off while he had a raging megumi chasing after him. thankfully the food was fine so all is good so far.

after about AN HOUR, gojo finally shows up. “hey guys! what did i miss?” gojo said cheerfully. however, a dark ominous shadow appeared behind him and whacked his head so hard it made the whole room go silent.

“not even an apology?” nanami reprimanded gojo while staring down at him.

since an hour has passed, it was already time for the next thing on the agenda so gojo didnt even have time to eat the moment he arrived, he was okay nonetheless.

Game time!

the first game was something like blinfold elimination? im not too sure about the name. the way to play is:

two members of the team are blindfolded and is waiting outside a ring that has balls scattered everywhere

in order to win, the two blindfolded team members have to eliminate the other teams blindfolded members by finding a ball and throwing it at them

however, since they cannot take of their blindfold, the remaining team members will have to guide them to find the balls and help them to tell them roughly where and when they should throw the ball.

the non-blindfolded team members are not allowed to throw the balls and use their cursed energy.

the rules were fairly simple so yall split yourselves into 4 teams.

the 8 blindfolded people were itadori and inumaki, panda and aoi, mahito and mai, nanami (he was dragged into it) and nobara.

you were on mahito and mai’s team so you decided to just guide mai along since you were a lottle uncomfortable with mahito. jogo was there for him anyways and they make a better team.

gojo started the game by screaming and suddenly the room was filled with desperate screams to get the ball.

balls were flying everywhere and people were already crying of laughter because of the scene.

itadori kept scurrying along the floor like an insect which made everyone laugh but he couldn’t be hit no matter what.

as time passed by, more and more people got eliminated, including mai-san and the only people left were nanami and mahito. (oooo the matchup)

the rest were frantically screaming everywhere that they should go and throw in a certain direction.

it felt so tense yet so fun at the same time so it was pretty enjoyable to watch.

finally nanami hit mahito with the ball and the game was over. “good game, jujutsu sorcerer” mahito said in defeat while shaking his hand. “i only do what im supposed to” nanami nonchalantly replied as both enemies walked away from each other

the game took WAY longer than expected so it was time for the exchange gifts!

Exchange Gift time!!

yayy its exchange gift timee.

everyone gathered together and sat in a circle in the large empty space of the room with their gifts in hand.

“okay! lets all pass around the gifts until the music stops!” you announced as you started the music.

all the gifts were just travelling everywhere in very different directions including across the room.

you stopped the music and everyone made sure that they each had a gift in hand.

all of you took turns opening up the gifts and there were actually some pretty funny ones. by a huge coincidence itadori got a sukuna finger cake that was made by mai-san. it didnt look the best but.... hey the effort counts.

you opened up your gift and you found a keychain of megumis divine dogs. you guessed that it was from him and to no surprise it was. you found it so cute you immediately attached it onto your bag.

after opening your gift you proceeded to just watch the others open theirs. some of them were quite ridiculous as mahito got a hanger and jogo got a can opener.

it soon came down to the last person nanami so he opened up his gift slowly, he tore one side open, peeked inside, and immediately closed it. “whoever bought this gift must be very childish...” he said in disappointment

itadori ran towards him and ripped open the present and realised, it was a maids outfit.

everyone burst into laughter just imagining nanami in a maids outfit. “h-hey! who gave him that HAHAHAHA” itadori asked as he was rolling on the floor with his hands over his stomach.

gojo slowly raised his hand up and was already at the door, ready to escape.

nanami slowly rised, “please excuse me” he said calmly and he bolted out the door to chase gojo

that sight made everyone laigh even more until they had no more energy to laugh.

by the time they returned with gojo semi beat up, everyone was so out of energy and just lying down on the floor while listening to christmas music play in the background.

“should we pack up now? its also quite late” panda asked and everyone nodded in agreement.

everyone helped to pack up the remaining food and clean up the place before leaving.

once the whole place was clean, everyone siad their goodbyes and left in different directions.

andd there it is! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! hope you guys enjoyed this and i also hope you have a fun time with your families today! hopefully you get the gifts you want too HAHA. i may or may not post on new year’s but ill try if i can. ill be quite busy starting 2021 since thats when school starts, ew, but ill still try my best to post every now and then so please forgive me if im inactive! anywho, besides all that, please stay safe and have a merry christmas and a happy new year yalls! see you guys soon!!

[burnedbyshoto]

And They Were Roommates

modern!AU - Part One

Part Two ⋆⋆  Part Three

todoroki shouto x female roomate!reader

Synopsis: When you need a roommate, you should have included on a no-boys-allowed policy.

warning: implied smut... making out... ((this is my first time writing like this so be warned))

word count: 2,613

A/N: so this is honestly my first time writing in this type of way, and it wasnt requested, so does this make me a pervert??? i don’t know, anyways this was supposed to be uploaded so long ago but i had a busy day, please forgive me!!!! this story is also one for smut, fluff, and angst

It had been officially two days since your old roommate had moved out on account of her getting married, and while you were happy for her, you were upset about being told about this ceremony the night before the wedding. You were a working individual, you had big dreams that entailed you working with a set income, benefits, and perks, but to obtain that you needed experience. So, at the moment you were working minimum wage jobs that tired you to the bone, and for your roommate to pull out of your decent place without at least a two-week notice left you desperate for a roommate.

So you turned to Craiglist and posted an ad for the spare room, despite the fact the mass majority of people you knew protested; there was absolutely no time to be picky you justified when rent was approaching. Over one hundred people answered your post, most of which were creepy old men, but you had narrowed it down to three individuals who seemed polite through the initial communication. And all were confirmed girls, except one, but again, you weren’t really sure if they were a man or not.

So while you were scheduled to meet your final interested individual thirty minutes before you had to leave to work, you prayed this person wouldn’t turn out to be the complete psychos the other two succeeded to hide through prior messages. Finally, at exactly the time you had requested the applicant to come, you heard a knock on the door. Placing down your folder, you walked over to the entrance and you flung open the door, you froze. It was a man, a handsome man, who stood outside your door when you flung it open. After moments of hesitation, and a brief introduction on his own half, you invited him in and retreated to the kitchen table to conduct the interview.

You hesitated as you looked at the man in front of you, he sat there calm, composed, and almost intimidating as he answered all your interviewing questions with total eloquence. Shifting in your seat, you brushed a strand of hair out of your face as you cleared your throat, “So, let’s wrap up this interview?” You breathe out as you returned to your question sheet. “Do you care at all that I’m a girl?”

“I’m only seeking a place to sleep at night, and relax when I don’t have work,” The man explained, “You’ll probably forget I’m even here.”

Your lips purse as you nod, “Well, uh, Todoroki-san, you’re actually really overqualified to be my roommate... I didn’t think that was going to be possible given I placed an ad on Craigslist, but the room is yours if you want it!”

“I’ll take it.”

You grin at the man--Todoroki-san--who was now your roommate. Quickly you went through the documents you needed him to read and while trying to leave said, “The only thing I request is that you are respectful of my things when I’m not here.” You smile slipping the spare key into his palm. “Like you, I’m very busy with my own occupation, and because now you’re legally bound to the apartment, I’ll leave you here!”

You gather your things as you watch Todoroki look down at the key in his hand as you’re already halfway out the door, “I’ll be back late, no need to wait up!”

Thus began the quiet relationship you had with Todoroki Shouto.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

When you had returned home that night, the clock in your kitchen was showing that it was two in the morning, and you sighed, why were minimum wage jobs such an abomination? You went to the bathroom and saw that the areas where you detailed in a paper that belonged to Todoroki being filled up, and while you knew you were roommates now, you hadn’t expected him to have been finished unpacking so soon.

After you finished taking off your makeup, and of course brushing your teeth you tip-toed away to your bedroom making sure to be quiet until you had entered your room. Taking off your work clothes, you changed into a big, old, t-shirt you had stolen from your ex but never pursued to return, slipped into bed and fell asleep.

When you woke up the next morning, it was ten a.m. and you groaned as your body ached from your stressed day at work. You slid off your bed and walked out into the quiet apartment, your eyes training on the sunlit living room, but seeing no roommate, you walked to the bathroom and got ready for the day out.

While you weren’t going to explicitly state you were out long, by the time you had gotten home Todoroki was still not home, as you noticed his room door was open. It made you pout, while you were unsure if you two would be friends, you definitely wished to get to know your roommate better. You decided to sit on the couch, hoping that with your sleep schedule he would come back while you were still awake, but it was only wishful thinking as three a.m. came around and you were retreating to your room. So began this endless cycle.

Todoroki was always home when you worked all day, or you were home when he worked all day, or your personal favorite: the two of you worked all day and would stumble into each other way too late at night to make conversation only for one of you to be gone early that following morning. To be honest, it was really irritating because you found your roommate to be sort of hot, and besides, the fact is he lived self-sufficiently and always took the trash out for you guys, so you wanted to get to know Todoroki.

It was now four months since Todoroki had moved in with you, four months of having rent on time, four months of three-second conversations and you were weary of it. You walked into your apartment at an early hour of seven in the evening, an unusually early time for you to get home on Friday evening. Your boss had asked you to work the morning shift instead of the closing shift, and so, after working almost ten hours you were glad to be home. Unlocking the door, you kicked off your shoes by the entrance and slipped on your slippers, “I’m home.” You shouted out to what you thought was an uninhabited apartment.

“Welcome home.” An indecisive reply came from the kitchen. You yelped in embarrassment covering your mouth as you shuffled to the kitchen where Todoroki was preparing himself dinner.

“Um, hi?” You said cheeks flushed as you straightened out your white button-down work shirt.

“Hi.”

The two of you stared at each other in this weird silence before you nodded, “Well, I am going to go shower, I had a really long day at work and I kinda wanna get those negative microorganisms off me?”

Todoroki chuckled before he nodded in agreement, “I get it, do you want me to make you a plate?” He said indicating down to the sushi he was preparing.

“I’ll take two rolls.” You sigh gratefully before scurrying into the restroom feeling embarrassed by the physical state you were in.

You took a quick shower, washing your hair, quickly shaving areas you needed to shave as apart of you Friday ritual, and soaped down your body as you finished within a whopping seven minutes of showering. Wrapping the towel around your body, you walked to your room and closed it behind you.

Unsure if Todoroki was working tonight, given you had left the apartment before him, you decided to put on some leggings, a bra, and a sleeping shirt because there could be a chance he was leaving soon. You knew he worked at some fancy and rich business and was always being called in at the weirdest times. Maybe he’s a drug lord, you can’t help but think.

Going back out, you saw that Todoroki had left you a plate of three sushi rolls for you and you grinned as you sat down in front of him. “Thank you for the meal, Todoroki-san.”

“Of course, y/l/n-san.”

The two of you sat in silence as you ate, neither one of you really know what to say. You despised it, you wanted to know more about your handsome roommate, so as you saw him getting ready to retreat to his room words emptied out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Would you like to drink with me? I’ve had a hard last four months and I just wanna...forget it tonight?”

He stops, turning face to look at you with interested eyes, “Depends, what do I get out of it?”

Your mouth drops, unsure if he was being serious about the implication of those words, “W-What--”

“No, sorry, I was trying to make a joke. Um, I would actually like to have something to drink.”

You nod your head blushing as joy overcomes you, standing up and going to your stored away liquor you pulled out a gold brand tequila and two shot glasses as it seemed you ran out of wine, sake, and soju. “Okay, I only have tequila.” You inform Todoroki who is now sitting in the living room with a stack of cards.

“Cards?”

“I figured we could play drinking games? If you want?” Todoroki says and you laugh nodding your head in agreement.

“Okay, Todoroki-san, explain your game.”

So basically, Todoroki explained to you strip poker, but with a drinking catch to it. You could refuse to strip by taking a shot, but of course, being drunk would make things harder as the game goes on and if you continue losing.

“Alright,” You mutter as Todoroki deals out the cards and you pour the tequila into the shot glasses, “I hope you're ready to lose badly, Todoroki-san.”

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

You were drunk.

Todoroki was drunk.

The both of you were missing your shirts, your socks, and cheating Todoroki had removed his jacket off as well. Or was that because he had grown hot, you couldn't remember anymore.

The poker game had long been abandoned as the two of you could no longer remember the customs of the game in your moments of intoxication, and were now on a game that permitted you to learn more about each other. Confess to an asked question, or drink up!

“Okokokk, shut up!” You screamed, throwing your head onto Todoroki's lap as Todoroki teased you about your anime crush. “You promise you won’t-won’t tell a soul?!”

“I don’t know, having a crush on Prince Zuko is something everyone goes through,” Todoroki says as he downs a shot because why not, you're both already drunk and following rules just wasn’t happening anymore.

“Okay, I’m not saying your wrong, but I-I-I would marry him if he was an actual person, so there.” You tried to stick out your tongue, but upon doing that you couldn’t feel your face. “Is mah tongue out theresh?” You asked.

Todoroki got really close to your face as if he couldn’t see your tongue which worried you on the fate of your appendage but eventually nodded. “I see it!”

“Okay, MY TURN FOR QUEsTION!” You just about roared as you got close to Todoroki’s face in an attempt to make him sweat. “Why did you wanna move in with me?? Y-You’re so successful a-a-and my ad was on lists of Craig?! You could seriously buy me.”

You watched as Todoroki chose to throw back two shots instead of answering you, which made you slightly sad because so far, he wasn’t answering anything too intimate. “Because I wanted a new place, and you are so pretty.” He confessed looking at you with his heterochromia eyes and you froze.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks and your heartbeat starts hitching up.

Turning to the tequila bottle, you fill up your shot glass and down it hoping the additional liquor would give you the courage you needed to answer a blunt question, “Please?”

The word left your lips but the two of you just gawked at each other, and before you even knew it you were leaning over towards him and you pressed your lips gingerly to Todoroki's. Suddenly, this fire immediately shot through your body at the slightest touch made you choke back a moan.

The two of you broke apart, your drunken eyes communicating the amount of denied emotions, attraction, and just pure drunken desire between the two of you. So there was no irregularity when your lips came crashing together again, this time with an uncontrollable passion.

Your lips mashed together, teeth occasionally clashing together as the alcohol severely dropped your ability to kiss ordinarily. You were on your knees and Todoroki was sitting as your tongues came and danced together in a way that made your toes curl.

Before you knew it, Todoroki had you dragged onto his lap, his hands firmly keeping you in place. Your arms wrapped around his neck at a snail's pace, as your hips slowly began to grind onto Todoroki's crotch. Your heartbeat was hammering away as Todoroki’s grip on your hips tightened immensely, a slight hiss leaving his lips as you managed to finally roll your hips voluptuously over his forming bulge.

You giggled as you left his lips to trail open mouth kisses down his neck all while your hips kept rolling up and down Todoroki’s bulge. However, it seemed that Todoroki was not enjoying the lack of control as he roughly brought your lips back to his own, his teeth biting down on your lower lip as he pressed your naked torsos against one another and a moan escaped your lips.

With one hand on your ass encouraging you to continue grinding your hip against him, and the other on your back to keep you pressed together, he began trailing kisses down your neck. You gasped as he sucked gently on the base of your neck, your hips paused momentarily as liquid fire seemed to form in your lower belly, your head was thrown back as he placed multiple hickies down your neck.

“T-Todoroki,” You moan out, a fire now lit in your stomach as he flips you over so that you're on the floor, the coldness of the wood enhancing the fire that you felt wherever Todoroki was touching you. “Please...”

With Todoroki’s hands firmly planted on your waist, your grinding nevertheless proceeding, he gazes as you, before a smirk graces his features. “Please what, y/l/n?”

You lick your lips suddenly feeling feeble, you were a top, and here you were being stimulated into being bottomed, “Please fuck me...” You whisper as you easily sit up and took off your bra, going in to kiss Todoroki again.

Your lips connected, as your bruised lips dragged across one another in a new frenzy as you stood up.

You felt extremely giddy as you stood, Todoroki bending slightly to allow you to continue making out as his hand grasped your breast, a finger delicately touching your aroused nipple, You let out another lewd moan as you feel Todoroki picking you up, and you immediately wrap your legs around his waist, your fingers tugging on his hair as he stumbles into the hallway.

“Your room or mine?” He asks against your lips.

“Mine...”

And as the door opens, he gets in and slams it closed as he pins you against the door and you moan as the pool of heat in your belly intensifies.

"It seems like someone's already wet..." Todoroki whispers in you ear, and you pull him closer so that your lips skim his ear.

“Then do something about it...”

ahahahahahahhahahaha so, um, idk if you guys like it, if you dont there wont be more parts cuz im embarrassed, if not youre not getting any real action until later!!!!! now say it with me, prince zuko is everyones crush!!!!

[madiiko12]

new york’s very own madison ‘madi’ ko was spotted on broadway street in chanel sneakers . your resemblance to kim chungha is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being obsessive , but also ambitious . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be glittery eyes, dangling earrings, & chanel draped in pearls.  ( cisfemale & she/her) + ( kale, 20 , she/her , est. )

hi honeybuns !! im back and with child. there is a brief mention of an ed under the cut but i block it off with a tw start & end.    if you’d like to plot pls leave a like and i can dm you or hit you up on discord !! my discord is kale#3079  

BACKSTORY

haneul madison ko was born september 18, 1999 to two immigrant parents from S.K. her birth name is haneul, but she went by the name madison since it was easier to pronounce + madi began to almost detest her culture??

it was just that growing up she would sometimes get bullied for looking different at her school, for the way her packed lunches smelled/looked, the way people would stare if she spoke korean to her parents, how other kids would make fun of her english since she didn’t pick up on vocab/grammar as quickly since she didn’t practice at home with her parents. she just became SO insecure about it that she rejected her culture. she wouldn’t bring her mom’s food to school, if her mom ever forced her to take it she’d throw it away  and choose to starve instead. she wouldn’t speak korean back to her parents in public, barely even in private (which reeaaallly upset her parents). this also REALLY destroyed her korean language skills. she can understand still, but she can barely hold a basic conversation anymore.

as she grew up, and continued this sense of distancing herself from her culture, she ultimately distanced herself from her family. which left her feeling -  - alone often, even though it was all due to her own choices. in this loneliness, she found her escape in music. she would wear headphones constantly through the halls, in car rides, in her room when her parents yelled at her to turn the music down. she just loved music. she saved up the money her parents gave her whenever she worked at the nail salon (her parents owned it!!) to thrift an old keyboard. she became self-taught by trying to copy melodies of songs she’d listen to, thrifting piano lesson books, staying after school with the music teacher learning to play. sometimes she’d even skip lunch to sit in the chorus room with her choir director and play.

it’s not that she had a LACK of friends growing up, maybe just that she lacked a best friend. she had a lot of friends, but no one that she felt so connected to in the way she felt connected to music. perhaps, she was addicted to her loneliness.

she spent a lot of time playing the piano and dabbling in writing music that her grades started to fall (not that she was ever the BEST student) and her parents literally took away her piano. they said it was a waste of time because they wanted her to focus on doing well, so she could get into a good university, and then live a good life. music was just a distraction

but that didnt work

she would sneak out into the city to go to concerts and poetry readings. she’d sneak out and go to indie songwriters scenes while her parents thought she was at the library with one of her school friends

This underground scene had her full heart!! she was surrounded by likeminded people who just lived for music. she was hearing all of these incredible people who were all looking for their start. maybe not looking for anything at than just to sing their songs. tbh i think this was the point she was happiest. she was completely enveloped in music, just for the sake of music. There wasn’t any pressure, just music. Just the songs. she was wide eyed looking at this whole underground scene of artists. So maybe some plots from these underground charas?!

she’d perform some songs at karaoke nights and the indie sessions, and a producer took a keen interest in one of her songs. basically im kind of stealing halsey’s career start, but she posted a song Came in Close on SoundCloud and just blew up overnight. in the morning, she woke up to a record label asking her to fly to LA for a meeting.

and thus, Madison Ko began a career as Madi Ko where she’d release her debut album, Honey, a few months later. (DISCOGRAPHY HERE). her music is very 80s synth inspired!

new album that is most definitely CRJ’S EMOTION is coming soon...

PERSONALITY

right off the bat, madi is an absolute firecracker!! she’s loud, bursting with personality, has a lack of inhibitions that CHAOTICALLY mixes with her spontaneity

part of this is projecting her insecurities. she felt lonely as a child but doesn’t want to be seen as that to the world. it’s not so much a persona but an exaggeration of who she was. 

she likes to show off her glam bc it, once again, hides her insecurities. 

she just kind of is dramatic anymore

like everything about her

her persona as Madi Ko, upcoming popstar underdog, is like DUNKED in glitter, over the top stages and sets, draped in couture. basically her stages/outfits/dances/mvs are like Chungha’s but with Pale Waves and Carly Rae Jepsen VC. ex: 1, 2, 3, 4

also bc im obsessed with chungha’s famous diamond wink, IT’S GONNA BE MADI’S THING TOO. so basically madi has trended on twt a few times bc of her signature diamond wink bc she effing glues rhinestones and glitter under her eyes for performances !! she said fuck corneas !! ex: 1, 2, 3      ....god chungha is magical

so while madi is like a brand hypebeast n never shuts up, she can also get,,, easily annoyed. and heavily perceives ppl on first impressions despite that being the reason she felt misunderstood a lot growing up. 

definitely argumentative!!! will blow up arguments for no reason n then later questions why she made it such a big deal but cant own up to her mistakes

when she decides she doesnt like you, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU. it’s done. bridge is burned, she’s not keen on second chances

fame has definitely given her a bit of an ego problem --- she’s a bit more aggressive, self-obsessed while intrinsically insecure, is too busy flaunting her material possessions and trendy life that she can...lose touch of reality. basically most of her high school friends cant stand her. HC that her high school bf broke up with her bc she was no longer was the madison ko he knew!!! so if anyone wants to be that ex lmk !!! she’s written songs about them!!!

definitely the type of girl who is so hype at a party, dancing in fallen confetti, standing on the fireplace mantle, but then midway realizes she’s lonely. sad at a party. 

ED TW STARTS!!!!!

....

she kind of always had body image issues growing up, but it was very off and on, but once she got signed and being by surrounded by cameras became normal she formed a full fledged ED. she’s passed out at concerts a few times bc of her ED, but they always brush it off as “not enough rest” or “she wasnt feeling well that day but pushed to perform anyway as to not disappoint the fans”

so feel free for ur muses to point it out !! she’ll get really defensive like “i eat i just work out a lot” and yeah it’s true she works out a lot but she...doesn’t really eat

it’s also one of the causes of her irritability ...

.....

END ED TW!!!!

idk why this is so long

always up for mischief! 

does love a good prank. asks weird hypotheticals 

is not scared of an ouija board

will get wasted off a few shots and drunk madi is UNSTOPPABLE 

one time drunk madi cried bc her siamese cat (MOCHI !!!) wouldn’t ever get to go to school and would never know chemistry..... the dramatics.....

she is sensitive and despises it. she does everything she can to not come across as sensitive

however, she’s so obsessive. so deep in feeling. when she feels something she FEELS it. when she is mad it boils through her. when she is in love it is all she knows. when she is sad it covers her like sweaters and blankets on rainy days. she doesn’t know how to half-feel. everything she feels stops her in her tracks.

HOWEVER she’s the most obsessive with her own insecurities — so in relationships she’s kind of known for tapping out early. she just gets scared and the fleetingness of her career and that she’s at her very core, lonely and disappointed in herself, makes her want to run away thinking that letting down her walls and being vulnerable could only be disappointing for her SO. so maybe she ghosted ur chara or gave some lame excuse

Kind of obsessed with how she’s perceived

terrified that at any moment her career could be thrown away, her deemed irrelevant, and she goes back to being Madison Ko, daughter of nail techs in Koreatown. and then her parents would have been right all along, music was a waste of time.

she’s just my little fallen angel who flew to the sun (fame) and it constantly eats away at her girlhood, at her heart.

anyways this is all i got rn <3 come love me sorry i kind of didn’t shut up this is long

WANTED CONNECTIONS

an ex from before she was famous who broke up with her because of how she changed!! PLEASE i have ideas for this. plus,,, you get a lot of songs about ur chara!!! could be from high school, maybe someone in the music scene she frequented before she was signed, anything!!

anothr ex/fwb/undefined relationship i’d love is one when she was first famous who just introduced her to everything. something like a whirlwind that was exciting and magical. she’s written songs about this person.

exes in general. 

hookups/fwb

romantic plots. pls i have songs who need meaning. friends to lovers, one sided (either way), slowburn, ANYTHING. love cruel summer plots, anything lover by tswift

PR relationships -- would LOVE one where she falls in love with the other despite how clearly defined they made their relationship

love triangles in general just get me going

best friend!!!! the one’s who know how the other feels just by looking at each other. they have countless sleepovers. tell each other everything. cry together on bathroom floors. pregame together. 

ex friends. for whatever reason -- maybe madi did smth shitty, maybe they did. maybe there was backstabbing, maybe madi sacrificed friendship for a career, maybe she made moves on their romantic partner/interest despite being fully aware. idk. gimme

People she knew from the underground/indie scene before they were famous!! they’d have bonded over their love for music, little indie dreams kind of vibe. just imagine a group of dreamers !! Would love if they made some kind of pact!!!

party friends

collabs !!

pranks. mischief. gimme

enemies. gotta cook up some drama, yknow

GIRL GANG. god i just want this so bad like make a girls dream come true

[caracalfeather]

WARNING- Cats and Birds is a mob AU fanfiction of the Arcana game, and is not meant for young audiences and is not meant to offend anyone. Some writing choices were made so characters are out of their canon way of acting and thinking. Please do not be offended by character choices made by the authors and content creators, this story was made for fun and in the way we wanted it to be. The story was not hijacked by any of the authors to make any ships or characters overshadow any other. All content contained in this story has been agreed upon and accepted by all parties in it’s creation.

TW- Cats and Birds contains scenes that may not be suitable with some readers, including themes of violence, smoking/drug use, sex, cursing and various other strong themes. Special warnings for scenes will be posted with chapters. Proceed with caution and Reader’s discretion is advised.

9

The next morning, Rose shivered against ilya, waking up to a cold room. She wrapped herself in the blanket.

Julian stirred awake, he just laid there and didn’t bother to move, the barking had stopped sometime in the night so Julian wasn’t completely sleepless.

Morning darling.” Rose purred and kissed his neck, smiling “You were rough last night.”

“Hmmmm….you think?” He sighed, caressing her face.

“It was good. But that nickname wasnt your best idea. It was cute though.” She sighed

Julian blushed and hid underneath his pillow. Damn her. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?!??” He groaned into his mattress, her haunting was becoming increasingly annoying as long as that goddamned photo wasn’t burned to ash.

“D-did i do something again?” she looked at him, her smile dropping from her face.

Julian sat up in a hurry and cupped Rose’s face. “No! No darling! It’s not you! God it could never be you.” He sighed, “I think I’m being haunted is all.”

“.......” She looked at him, skeptical and stood up “Im...going to shower…” She picked up her clothes and mumbled.

With rage boiling in his blood Julian dug through the waste basket and tore the photo up. “Good riddance to you, you're ruining everything!” He shouted, the pieces fluttering to the floor. He tore the photo in a few big chunks but Julian was more disappointed in himself more than anyone.

As Rose showered, Plume was downstairs making plans for Rose's next trip heist. It would be a little longer than her last.

Julian was on torture that morning, he slipped on his black gloves, and faced the cell. His mind was not in the right place but a job had to be done.

“Alright. Our queen is heading out for a month or two to chicago. She’s going on a supply run and needs a companion.” Plume set down the map of the route as a few guys volunteered. Meanwhile, Rose was toweling off and packing her bags, mumbling to herself and trying to think if she’d done something to upset ilya. She hurt on the inside and wished she could just disappear into her bed.

He opened the cell and was met by two brown eyes. The woman who was handcuffed was big and she looked….really familiar.

The woman looked up, “look….if you’re here to torture me I already told the big fella that it was all a misunderstanding-“ her eyes flashed and she laughed. “Noooooo…..yes? It can’t be???”

Julian looked into the eyes of...Bèatrice.

“Bèa….what the hell are you doing here?” Julian growled.

Bea spat blood into the concrete. “I could say the same to you, you son of a bitch. We all thought you DIED.”

Julian could not handle this today, he rubbed his temples, “but that’s not why you're here.”

“Right…..I’m here because I was looking for Madeve your dog.” She explained, “he’s been getting out a lot recently and I’ve been helping get him home.”

He nodded and Bèa continued.

“What would she say if she knew you were here? Would she ever forgive you-“

Her words were cut short by a bullet to the head. Julian held the gun with shaking hands and stepped out from the cell. He was probably going to get a scolding from Plume, but it was worth not having to deal with this matter anymore.

Plume looked up from the map at the sound and growled “Damn it. Alright everyone, prep the queen and get ilya.”

Like clockwork Ilya was dragged to Plume. Julian with a blood splattered face was so done with everything and everyone.

“Who the fuck did you kill now you usesless dog?” Plume hissed, tossing the map into a bag and glaring at him.

“A trespasser.” Julian hissed crossing his arms over his chest.

“Whatever. Rose is leaving for a few months.” He pushed Julian into a chair “We’re getting her things ready.”

“I take it, I'm going with her.” He sighed, “I am pretty sure I’m the last person she wants to see currently.”

“It's up to you. She’s getting her clothes from your room right now.” He mumbled. Upstairs, rose was bending down to grab her shirt, pausing as she noticed torn pieces of paper on the floor. Carefully she looked at them, her heart sinking slightly as she saw a beautiful face she’d only seen in magazines. Her mind began to wander as she put the paper in her pocket. What was he doing with her torn picture? Was it an infatuation? Maybe it was just remnants of an old magazine…

Julian found Rose in his room. He smiled, wiping some stray blood from his cheek. “Well, I took care of the trespasser.”

“Huh? Oh...thanks.” Rose put her jacket on and fixed her hair, unimpressed.

“Did I piss you off again?” Julian frowned, “Rose, this is becoming a pattern and I would like for it not too.”

“No, I'm just busy and sore...sorry.” She sighed, going to the door, the ripped pieces in her pocket.

Julian sighed and began packing himself, meeting Rose out in the garage when he was done. “So we’re going all the way across the country. For supplies. “

“We? You're coming with me?” She put her bags in the back as plume nodded “Yes. and You two are fetching more artillery from our Chicago pride since we can't ship them anymore.”

“Perfect.” He smiled, tossing his bag in along with Rose’s. “Are we going in disguise this time?” His smile widened into a mischievous grin.

“Yep. Once you're in the city rose will be dressed as Mistress thorne and you” Plume tossed lingerie looking close at him “Will be her collared sub Thomas.” Plume laughed “No one questions the mistress.” It was a joke, but he didn't doubt ilya would play the part anyway.

Julian laughed, “ha! Good thing it’s a long drive it will give me plenty of time to get into character.”

“You'll keep your mouth shut.” Rose mumbled and got into the driver's seat.

“As my Mistress commands.” Julian bowed dramatically and got into the car.

Blasting music, rose took off to the highway, opening the window as they began the trip.

“The city seems strangely quiet today.” Julian sighed staring out the window, “we haven’t gone on a long trip together in a very long time.”

“Yeah… almost a year now.” she mumbled and glanced at him “New york last time.”

Julian chuckled, “That’s Right! That mission was an absolute disaster….but it was fun. And you had fun fucking me into oblivion.”

“Mhm. next time i'll gag and peg you with a strap.” She weaved her way through the streets, listening to an old rock song.

He unbuttoned his shirt slightly, his charismatic smirk on full display. “Just hearing you say that makes me hungry and excited.” He traced a gentle line from her cheek down her neck.

She slapped his hand away and huffed “I'm not touching you until we get to chicago.” Her voice growled “Then I'm going to make sure you submit and learn your place.”

Julian held up his hands in full surrender, shutting up. He instead brought his attention to the passing streets.

The ride was a long 10 hours until they finally stopped at an inn. It was pitch black outside as they got a room, Rose spent another hour nursing a blunt on the balcony. Her mind was full of memories of old lovers. Each had ended up leaving her for Hollywood models and performers, saying they were better than her. They had called her an alley cat, a mangy stray. And after finding that picture, rose was sure ilya was fantasizing about being with a performer. Someone prettier and more talented. She finished smoking and dropped her head, looking at old scars on her arms.

Julian wrapped his arms around her and hummed into her neck. “Someone is in the pits of despair” he chuckled, “ I thought I was going to get punished once we arrived.”

“In chicago. You have 15 more hours.” She looked at him “Cant a girl smoke in the night in peace?” She looked at the dark night.

He let her go, “alright I get it. You're upset I’ll leave you be.” He retreated back into the room. Mulling over what he did this time. Each answer leading to the one thing he had been fighting these past 2 weeks.

“It doesn't feel good, does it?” She whispered and looked at the moon “Gods, my papi would kill me for being this petty.”

Julian heavily sighed, “you think I haven’t been suffering? Your suffering makes me suffer! And aside from that, I’m still just suffering.”

Rose went into the bathroom to shower, sitting on the tiles as warm water hit her back. She got lost in thought, a few tears mixing with the water.

Julian flopped back on the bed. Rubbing his eyes in frustration. He wished that bullet had killed him, it would spare a lot of feelings and memories that were now causing issues.

Rose came back to the bed, laying down with her back to ilya, browsing her phone quietly and yawning.

He looked over at her, “I’m sorry.” He muttered.

“For what?” She mumbled, setting down her phone on the nightstand.

“For everything.” He sighed, “I’m sorry I stumbled upon your branch in Spain, I’m sorry you had to save me while I was bleeding out. I’m sorry I have made life so much worse for you. Rose I love you, but there are things that….haunt me. They have come back and it has affected our relationship, and I’m sorry!!! So so sorry!!”

“....Believe it or not… You're the best thing that's happened to me ilya.” She mumbled, looking at the wall “And i know there's shit that both of us deal with…. But i don't regret saving you. Or falling in love.”

Julian shook his head, “what if I regret being saved?”

“NO.” she sat up and glared at him “You shut the fuck up right now ilya. Don't ever say that.”

“...I CAN’T HELP IT ROSE!” He shouted sitting up. “I have been suppressing so much pain!”

“THEN WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET IT OUT?! IF NOT TO ME THEN TO SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE?!” She got out of bed, her eyes stinging as she went and locked herself in the bathroom.

Julian punched the wall and fell back into the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he tore his eye patch off and rubbed his bad eye. Trying to prevent everything from coming out.

[gutsybitsies]

Not the same anon but I would love to hear about the beauty and the beast version. I feel this fandom has greatly failed in not doing a beauty and the beast au for zimbits and you know what's up!

*cracks knuckles* im not sure if i’ve posted this before but i’d been talking about it with @fabbittle a while back: 

OKAY SO the premise is the same as the amnesia one and it’s bitty living in a cottage in the woods and so one day he comes across this really injured beast/monster. the beast is jack under curse. when he turned, he was chased and hunted by his own royal guards and friends who didn’t recognize him, and chased out of his kingdom. he’s cursed to be a monster until someone falls in love with him, but alas, who can love a beast? 

someone with a weird fetish like bitty, obviously. he takes one look and he’s thirsty. like jack’s still humanoid, he’s still muscular, and he’s got a lot of fur. and bitty can tell that he’s probably some poor guy who got cursed into a what to him seemed like a magnificent sexy beefcake. so while bitty’s nursing jack back to health there were two trains of thoughts in the cottage. the one that belongs to jack is “i’m a monster and he is so kind, i cant believe i love him so much, but there is no way he will ever love me.” while bitty’s thoughts are kind of just “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck meeeeee.”

bitty tries everything to seduce jack. but jack’s not picking up the hints, just lamenting about his ugliness and how he’s unloveable. but eventually bitty does say the words “i love you, you big handsome goofball!!” and then jack glows and poof. he’s human again!!! 

and bitty’s a bit sad, because if jack was human again it meant that he’d have to go back home, just when the two of them got together. but jack actually said that he wanted to stay here with bitty, that he didn’t much like his old life anyway, and he loves bitty and he loves the town samwell and everyone who lived there. but one day, a while later, an old man rides into town. he’s tired, and hungry, and he says that he’s looking for his son. 

jack was honest with bitty. he told him about his old life, as crown prince of the kingdom, about a fiance he didn’t care for, about the anxiety that he had about living up to his father, about his fear of failure. it all came to ahead when he was cursed and no one had recognized him, and he’d truly became something unworthy and disgusting in their eyes. 

“do you miss your parents?” bitty had asked. 

“yes,” jack replied honestly. “but i think it’s better that they don’t have me as a son.” 

but here robert zimmermann was, cold and tired from his journey, asking for magical favors everywhere, trying to find his greatest pride. bitty knew that if he knew jack was here, robert would take him away and break the small comfortable life that they built up together.

“my saddle broke,” bob said at the inn. “do you know where i can fix it?” 

“Tailor John knows how to do leatherwork for saddles and does most of the work in the town for it, but he just left yesterday to go to his daughter’s wedding and won’t be back for two weeks,” the innkeeper replied, “but bitty’s husband also knows how to do a quick repair, should last you until you reach another town. hey, bitty!” 

“hey there Jim,” bitty says as he brings in the day’s bread into the inn. “did i hear anything about a broken saddle?” 

“yeah, guy needs a fix, you think your jack can do it?” 

“well he can certainly try, he’s busy fixing our chicken coop right now, a fox got in last night, but if you come over tomorrow at noon i’m sure he’ll take a look at it,” bitty replied, looking warily at the man who looks almost exactly like jack and who said he was looking for his son. 

jack and bob see each other the next day, and bob bursts into tears and hugs his son as he finally got him back.

“why haven’t you come back? is there anything wrong? what’s this i hear about you being married?” he looked cautiously through the window at bitty, who was shooing away a deer that came near their garden trying to nibble at their cabbage. 

“i was cursed, he helped me lift it, and i decided to stay. i’m sorry for not contacting you or maman sooner, but i don’t want to go back.” 

bob became stern, “jack, this is your responsibility. you can’t leave your kingdom helmless in the future when it needs you. a ship without a captain steers itself into the waves and drowns. i don’t know what kind of dreamland you’ve been imagining yourself to be in but you need to snap out of it.”

“i can’t leave bitty.”

“then bring him with you, set him up in the capital with the finest things as repayment for taking care of you. he’ll have a great life as your lover.”

“he’s not just my lover, he’s my husband.”

“….is he a knight?”

“no.”

“has he ever went on a quest to save a kingdom, or defeated a dragon? do you think he can even hold a sword? will he be able to intermingle with the court life? how will he have any kind of dignity in the eyes of anyone in our circle as a prince consort now and a king consort in the future? what, are you going to give him a fake title and a dukedom to force him to integrate into our lives?”

seeing that jack can’t argue back but wasnt changing his mind, bob tried for a softer approach. “jack, you can bring him back with us. let him get used to how things are, and then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

so the three of them go to the capital and bitty is enraptured by all the beautiful things there, but there’s a slight hiccup. he’s ignored by every single person. the court, being very sensitive to the king and queen’s wishes, snubbed him on basically all occasions. he was given quarters in a small room far away from jack, and even though jack told him to just stay in jack’s room he wasn’t able to see jack often because jack comes back later and tired. when they first arrived bob and alicia didn’t even bother introducing him to anyone as jack’s husband. 

jack introduces bitty to people, and in jack’s presence there would be stilted conversation that stops as soon as jack wasn’t there. he tries his best to get bitty situated, but he’s being inundated as it were by tasks and jobs and responsibilities that he has to pick up again. 

and bitty realizes what’s happening, that no one wanted them to be together so they’re forcing this war of attrition. it comes to a head after a month, when bitty just couldn’t take it anymore and breaks down. 

jack: let’s just elope. 

bitty: what? we can’t do that.

jack: …go back home and i’ll come get you when i convince my parents to stop playing this stupid game. i’ll much rather you be happy away from me than suffer by my side.

bitty reluctantly agrees, and goes back. he waits and waits for a message from jack or jack himself, but doesnt get anything until there’s news that the prince of the neighboring kingdom, jack zimmermann, is getting ready to be married. but he still waited, because maybe that’s just a rumor and jack would tell him if anything happened, and that’s when a knight walked up the path to his cottage. and asked him to approve of a divorce from jack so that his next marriage can be legal. 

enclosed was a letter in jack’s handwriting that basically said that he realized that it was impossible for him to change his parents mind and impossible to leave. and that he could be stubborn and bring bitty back no matter what but he knows that it would just make bitty miserable. he’s sorry that he couldn’t say this in person, but he knew that if he saw bitty he’ll never want to leave. 

bitty signs, and then shuts the door in the face of the knight without even offering him refreshments for his long journey. 

bitty: i know its selfish but i wish the curse on jack had never broke. he’d have never been found, he’ll still be mine. 

and then, miles and miles away, a roar erupted in a panicking room as prince jack zimmermann transformed painfully into a giant beast in front of everyone. his parents grow frantic trying to break the curse, but no one could do it. 

note: this is from a long time ago that i never finished so here’s the rough rough rough ending

basically more panicking from the royals and jack ups and leaves again and finds his way somewhere where he sees bitty again. they don’t get together quite yet but eventually they start talking more and jack apologizes. 

bitty: “i made a dumb stupid wish and i wish i can turn you back but i can’t i’m sorry” 

jack: “that’s okay. i think if i wasn’t still in love with you i wouldn’t have turned anyway. my parents love me, i know, but i could never live up to them. i would’ve never been good enough, might as well stay here and eat berries.”

they still don’t get together, until one day jack’s on a hunting trip and get’s lost in the winter and meets up with a bunch of kids who also got lost, and he saves them and eventually leads them home. they thank him a lot and and jack’s pretty content with himself, before going back to his hut. and bam human again -insert disney music- 

jack knocks on bitty’s door with some flowers in hand, all “i know you’ve always wanted to see the world, and now i can take you places. we don’t have to be together, but do you want to come with me?” 

and so they set off together and one day bitty looks at jack weaving a scarf for the winter and kisses him. 

[peacedolantwins]

Exhausted (E.D)

A/N: not completely sure what this is tbh, probably not that good but its whatever so enjoy maybe? or not, you do you sis

“I’m tired of being your secret.”

“What are you talking about?” Ethan asked you, looking confused.

“I’m tired of having to pretend we arent even a thing when were around other people. I’m tired of trying to hide when you and Gray make a snap and I cant be in the background because you dont want people to know about us. Am I really that embarrassing to be see with?” You had tears in your eyes as you turned around to finally look at your boyfriend. You had been together for 8 months and it was exhausting for you to constant make sure you didnt post anything that would link you to the Ethan.

You had met through Bryant when he invited you to help set up with the beach shoot he did with the twins and his other friends a while back. You had gone to help your friend since you knew it was a project he was excited about working on. All you really had to do was set up the tents and make it look nice so it was all ready for the shoot. You had met both twins when you had been trying to hang the fairy lights inside the tent when they both saw you struggling to hang them on the higher parts and Ethan had been quick to come over and put them up. After that moment, everything just happened between you two. While everyone else had been catching up and talking between shoots, Ethan would come over and talk to you while you laid on the blankets since you didnt really know anyone other than Bryant but he was obviously busy. You had only met Juanpa a few times but not enough to carry on a conversation with him without it getting awkward after a few minutes.

Even though you had just met Ethan you had no problem carrying on a conversation. It was like you had known each other your whole lives and were simply catching up. When Bryant would turn the camera back on, you would get out of the way since you knew this shoot wasnt about you. While that had been what happened on the day of the shoot, after Ethan asked you out that turned to be your new job. Getting out of frame whenever there was a camera around. At first you understood because there was no point posting pictures together when you were sure this relationship would really last but after all these months of dating, when Ethan would ask you to go to the other room when he would post on snapchat or instagram it started to hurt. Why doesnt he want anyone to know about the two of you? He hadn’t even let you meet his friends or the “sister squad” because he said he didnt want any of them to accidently put it out that you two were together. When you would try to bring it up with him, he would simply say that he wanted to keep your relationship private, and while you understood, it still hurt every time he would say he wasnt dating anyone whenever he was asked about it. Never being able to go on an actual date was taking its toll on you since you two could never go to out to a restaurant or the movies or just anywhere there was a chance he could be recognized. Whenever you two had dates it was just you two hanging out at their house or him over at your apartment but after so long it wasnt enough anymore. At this point even going to store together would be considered a better date.

“What? You’re not embarrassing Y/N, why would-”

“We dont go out anywhere, Ethan. We only stay here because you dont want to go out somewhere where you might get recognized. You havent even let me meet your friends and the only reason I know Bryant is because I knew him before I even met you. I’m so tired of being hidden away.” You sat down on the bed and put your head in your hands.

Ethan didnt understand why you were upset about this. He had told you from the beginning that he had wanted to keep your relationship private which you had agreed to. He had asked you not to post about you two and you said you didnt have a problem with it so he doesnt understand whats currently going on.

“Y/N, you agreed to this or do you not remember that?”

“I agreed to keep us private and not post about us, but I didnt agree to being hidden away like some dirty little secret. At this point I’m surprised you even let your brother know about us.” When he looked away from you, you could see he looked almost guilty. “Ethan, your brother does know were together, right?” When he stayed silent you knew your answer. “Really? Okay… I don’t think I can do this anymore.” You got up from the bed and grabbed your purse and went to move to the door. You tried to face away from him, not wanting him to see the tears in your eyes.

“Y/n wait-” He gently grabbed your arm.

“What Ethan? You dont want Grayson to see me or what?” You snapped back at him and turned to face him. He took a moment to really take in your appearance. He knew you were upset, but seeing you about to break into to tears just hurt him more than he thought it would. It hurt even more because he knew he was the reason you were in this state.

He quickly thought back to all the times when he would ask you to take a photo of him but get the angle right so that even your shadow wasnt in the picture. He remembered asking you to wait until to Gray was asleep to leave. He remembered asking you not to post a picture of yourself that came out really nice because you could see a reflection of him in the store window. What he never really paid much attention to was how your face would fall each time. He never realized when you had stopped asking him to take photos of you because he couldnt be seen anywhere in them. He never noticed when you would automatically walk out of the room when he would open up snapchat or post a story to instagram. He quickly took a look around his room and realized there was no evidence you were ever there. There was no clothes you had left behind. There wasnt even one of your hair ties you would lose all the time. He never realized just how hidden away he had kept you and he immediately felt awful about it.

For once, Ethan Dolan was at a loss for words.

“Thats what I thought. I’m sorry but I cant do this anymore, Ethan.” You brushed off his hand from your arm and walked out leaving Ethan wondering how he just lost one of the best people he ever had in his life.

[i-am-the-entertainer]

RevieWBY: Volume 6

This has been stated so many times, but Volume 5 was bad. Okay, it wasn’t terrible, like I don’t feel offended by it being bad (unlike certain folks), but looking back on it I don’t have anything to say to really defend it as something Rooster Teeth should have talked up as much as they did at the time. It had some good things going for it, but the amount of problems it had in terms of animation and writing really put a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. So for Volume 6 to deal with all that fallout, it was going to have to do a lot. And to their credit, CRWBY accepted the criticism in stride, and actively worked to make Volume 6 something that people who despised Volume 5 might enjoy.

Still, one had to go into this season with the understanding that some people were never going to be completely satisfied with whatever CRWBY did. Because at the end of the day, the RWBY that Rooster Teeth currently makes is not Monty Oum’s show anymore. No, this isn’t saying CRWBY is in any way disrespecting his legacy, it’s just Monty Oum had a certain method to running the show that only he could really get away with: epic fight scenes, suddenly throwing giant curveballs into the series’ mythology, taking vital time away from storytelling so the fights looked cool. I mean, there are people who criticize the show for doing that now when they didn���t give two shits when Monty did it, because Monty did it in a manner that somehow worked. I don’t know how he did it, but he did, and, well, he’s not here to do it, and there’s no way even a huge animation team can collectively do things like him. And they shouldn’t: if they can use a better industry standard animation engine than Poser, than the fact that Monty Oum didn’t like animating with Maya shouldn’t stop them.

Blah blah blah...this is all about FNDM reception. What did I think of Volume 6?

Well...

Focus

In my mid-volume review I cited this as Volume 6′s strongest aspect, and as far as I can tell this remains the case. By focusing our hero storyline on one group and for the most part the villain storylines on only a few characters who were paired off, Volume 6 effectively told a story that didn’t force the viewers to juggle multiple things and find some semblance of a continuing story. Everything happened linearly and the whole thing made for a more enjoyable watch overall.

Tone

Building off of that renewed focus, this volume felt like it had more of a consistent tone that lasted from beginning to end. RWBY markets itself as an anime show and uses a lot of that anime-style of humor (slapstick and comedically exaggerated emotions), but honestly it’s always played fast and loose with using that humor in a way that doesn’t feel out of place. In this volume it was more consistently used, and that’s largely thanks to the nailed down focus that allowed character interactions to utilize the humor in a natural way. Ruby and Maria Calavera were especially good sources for humor.

Now, things did get a little more screwball when Cordovin came into the mix, but it was interesting seeing CRWBY take that humor to a logical extreme for the first time in a while (not since the Beacon years). It interrupted the tone for a bit, but not in a manner that overall changed the genre this show is going for.

Animation

Beautiful. The improved production pipeline that we’ve heard about really came through. These episodes were the best they’ve ever looked, minus a few errors here and there, showing just how amazing RWBY can look when you give the animators time to add their own touches. There was some really great fight animation to boot: none of the fights this volume felt awkward, and you could tell the animators had a lot of fun.

Worldbuilding/Storytelling

It feels weird saying that Volume 6 did a better job with worldbuilding than Volume 4, which took place on four different continents and traveled across one, and Volume 5, which took place on two different continents and featured the second major skirmish between the villains and the heroes. I think this has to do with just how well it was integrated into the story: insight into the world came at points where the story needed it and when the viewers wanted it. Nothing ever felt like a massive info dump better suited World of Remnant; where there was just too much information delivered that wasn’t relevant to what was happening in the show. Volumes 4 and 5 had this same problem with establishing the world, often telling us too much in a way that just didn’t feel natural to the story. With Volume 6, almost every chapter up until the final Argus arc included some form of that insight:

Chapter 1 showed us how ordinary civilians deal with traveling through Grimm territory––the steps they take to protect themselves

Chapter 2 showed us some aspects of the Mistral criminal underground, not telling us too much about it but suggesting it was much larger than what Cinder encountered.

Chapter 3 showed us...so many things.

Chapter 4 offered a sense of the stakes RWBY faced in relation to all of Remnant.

Chapter 5 and 6 gave us a glimpse at another form of non-city life in Remnant.

Chapter 7 introduced us to Argus, my favorite of all the Remnant cities we’ve seen; plus a glimpse into the life of the silver-eyed warriors; and a more representative depiction of what domestic life is like in Remnant

Chapter 8 told us what Atlas personnel who aren’t Ironwood or Winter are like, plus the long-awaited insight into how the silver eyes work.

Chapter 9 shows something of the effect the Battle of Beacon, and by extension Pyrrha’s death, had outside of our core group.

Things kind of teeter off with the finale arc, but that’s because worldbuilding became a little less important to what was going on. This is kind of a stretch, but the mech fight and the arrival of the Grimm in Argus give us an idea of how large non-capital cities defend themselves without just spelling everything out.

All in all, this volume delivered on some impressive worldbuilding, probably the best the series has had in a while. It wasn’t massive info dumps unless it needed to be (e.g. Chapter 3), and it offered just enough for other important things like the storytelling and the action to still be in the forefront.

Characters

Volume 5, despite the fact it involved the major reunion of Team RWBY after two volumes, felt like it was simply putting the main characters through situations without those situations really doing anything to develop them or define them as anything beyond what we already knew. Some characters fared better on the development front, namely Yang, but others, especially Ruby, just seemed to be along for the ride without us getting any insight into them. This is where the writing issue that came from separating everyone starting with Volume 4 really came to a head: too many different characters with their own story to cover, and sometimes those stories just didn’t do much for the character beyond existing as a situation they were in.

Volume 6 feels like the refutal of that, and that mostly has to do with the fact that we’re not juggling so many storylines anymore. When a major event happens to the heroes, everyone gets affected at the same time. The train crashes? DEVELOPMENT! Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT AND INSIGHT! Snowstorm? INSIGHT! The Apathy? DEVELOPMENT! Telling team JNR about Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT! Adam ambushes Blake and Yang for the first time since Volume 3? DEVELOPMENT! WITH A HEALTHY DOSAGE OF ANGST!

Surprisingly, the same thing is happening to two of our favorite villains, Mercury and Emerald: even though they only really appeared in three chapters this Volume, we actually got a surprising chance to see how their defeat at the Battle of Haven affected them, and their increasingly strong misgivings about working for Salem. We get more of an idea of them as people rather than Cinder’s blind followers, understanding why they stuck with such an evil person for so long. It’s the most we’ve learned about them since Volume 3, and we didn’t even need lengthy flashbacks.

Even Adam got some more insight. RWBY has been following the path that Adam was an abusive ex-boyfriend for quite a while now, but there was always this underlying thought that he got into the White Fang business for a seemingly noble cause. The problem was the show hadn’t depicted how he got from Point A to Point B. The Adam Character Short offered us some of that much needed insight, putting some of his actions up to this point in a new context, even if it was set-up for clearing up some things so they could get rid of him.

Of course, there are still exceptions to characters getting character development, and honestly they’re kind of glaring ones. Oscar’s development arc, where he came to accept he was his own person, completely happened offscreen (for reasons that I’ve brought up before and will reiterate in the final section), robbing us of really witnessing his growth as a person. I enjoyed some of the stuff Cinder did this volume, especially her escape from the vault and her fight with Neo. But honestly she continues to be a pretty bland villain with little hints at her motivations for being such a terrible person: the Battle of Haven was such an utter defeat for her there needed to be some form of consequence that would’ve affected her character while also telling us more about her. Maybe it would’ve been her strategizing her revenge, which would’ve gotten more insight into how she thinks as a master planner. Instead, we get her leaving the vault, more or less going back to what she used to do but in a more low-key setting, fighting with Neo, plotting with Neo, and leaving with Neo. It felt more like “Hey, she’s alive, and here’s what she’s doing,” which while I appreciate it feels kind of a waste of time if you’re not doing anything with her beyond that. Honestly, a post-credits reveal that she was alive and then a pre-Volume 7 character short detailing how she made it to Atlas that covered her and Neo’s entire storyline this volume would’ve been more helpful.

Before I go on to my most major critique of this volume, I need to address the two Goliaths in the room.

Adam

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they needed to get rid of Adam. The way things have been going, there was only so much more you could do with his character before he became a nuisance that was overstaying his welcome. I understand people wanted some deeper insight into him, but the fact was he was never introduced to be a major villain to anyone beyond Blake and later Yang. They could’ve had him have a thing against Weiss, but they didn’t, they focused the time that would’ve made him a major villain for everyone else on making people like Roman and Cinder and Salem the big villains. They decided on the path of abusive ex-boyfriend a very long time ago, and if you hadn’t figured that out after the Adam Character Short I honestly think you were being willfully ignorant to what’s been building up.

The best I can say is that Adam and his history is a missed opportunity for some pretty interesting storytelling and worldbuilding, but the fact remains: it is not his story that they want to tell, it is not his show. It may make something interesting to think about, but Adam’s story is supplementary, and works better in supplementary material, a la character shorts and maybe mangas.

Jaune

Y’all need to quit it with the “Hrrr drr Jaune took up time again moan moan Miles Luna is self indulgent” talk, he barely did anything this volume beyond Chapter 9 and having a sister that the whole fandom loved.

Pacing

This...this is where Volume 6 ran into trouble.

Overall, from the season premiere to the finale arc, this was probably the best-paced season of RWBY we’ve ever had. Major story events happened right when we needed them, and for the most part they didn’t drag out story arcs for any longer than they needed to be.

Well...until they reached Argus, that is.

At face value, a lot happened in the final couple of chapters. Chapter 8 gave us Maria explaining the silver eyes, Chapter 9 had the scene with Pyrrha’s statue and the mysterious Red-Haired Woman (I’ll headcanon whatever I want about who she is, Jen Brown) Chapter 10 started the Cordovin fight, Chapter 11 reinforced Blake and Yang’s partnership, Chapter 12 killed Adam, and Chapter 13 had Ruby finally use her silver eye powers to defeat a Grimm and they made it to Atlas. Yeah, it was a pretty eventful set of episodes.

So then why did it feel like it dragged? Here are a couple reasons that I’ve identified.

1. The Cordovin Battle sidelined story arcs for too long

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: the finale arc should not have been split up like that over so many episodes. It afforded us some pretty well-animated fights, some of the best the series has ever had, but the volume hadn’t been relying on that action to keep up the forward momentum, but on actually telling the stories of these characters. I get the need for CRWBY to prove that they can do well-animated fights, but as I’ve come to accept action should never take precedence over storytelling (I know, that’s hard to swallow when parts of the fndm spends hours complaining about how Monty’s not animating the fights anymore). And it’s clear to me in this final arc put emphasis on the action over the momentum of the story, bringing the actually pretty good storytelling the volume had had up to that point to a grinding halt.

Now, historically RWBY fights have delayed telling stories, but it’s never been for too long, at most maybe two chapters? But if you spend three chapters on a single fight, thereby devoting three weeks of your viewers’ time to high-octane action, people are gonna notice that the story is basically going nowhere.

What could’ve made this less of a problem? Well, perhaps establishing Cordovin earlier and making her less of a buffoon would’ve eased my hatred of this arc. Volume 6 lacks a clear antagonist for the story, but the way Cordovin was treated as a big deal in this final battle made it seem like she was taking up that role, except we didn’t even see her until the final half of the volume, and in her debut we couldn’t take her seriously as a villain, much less an antagonist, because of the pure comedy they used in her intro. There needed to be something about her at least a few episodes early––take this with a grain of salt because I think following JNR in Argus would’ve killed the balanced pacing of the first half of the volume (and just made the Jaune haters apoplectic), but maybe a few quick scenes of JNR arriving in Argus and getting rejected by her would’ve been helpful. Or honestly easing off on the comedy of her intro. Such a one-note character who we are primed to not take seriously isn’t interesting as a major force, so identifying her as a more threatening roadblock for the heroes would’ve made the stakes of the final fight a little more...present.

2. Important storylines got trimmed for time’s sake and weren’t addressed properly.

@hypeathon (whose excellent production analyses for this Volume are well worth a read) identified a tweet Miles made back in October, prior to the premiere and most likely when they were finishing storyboards, about “killing your darlings.” For those unaware and who may have severely misinterpreted that comment, “killing your darlings” is when writers have to sacrifice something they love or want to do so that the story works better. The timeliness of this tweet (after they would’ve finished the script but before they’d wrapped on storyboards and voice acting for the final episodes) suggests the writers’ room had to cut a lot of material from Volume 6 (what Miles called a massacre of darlings), most likely due to production limits or not having enough time to cover them.

Think about it: the story from Chapters 1-7 was really good: everything was properly spaced out, the scripts felt polished, there was a balance of action and comedy and legit storytelling, the good pacing lasted longer than it ever has within a single volume.

Then we hit Chapter 8 and suddenly it all changes: storylines don’t get the proper time devoted to them, arcs come to a screeching halt due to the big fight. Unlike previous volumes, where the imbalance was pretty much the entire volume, there’s actually a clear point right in the middle of this volume where things suddenly took a turn for the worse. And the fact is, some of the problems with the story in the final arc suddenly make more sense if you accept that time that would’ve been devoted to it got sidelined in this “purge”: Qrow’s alcoholism suddenly getting brushed aside after Chapter 9 hopefully to be addressed next volume, Oscar disappearing and all his development happening offscreen, Adam’s completely unsubtle return after only a vague hint in Chapter 1 that would’ve been stronger if he’d kept popping up in Argus. I’d even go so far to say the odd pacing of the final few chapters could easily have been the result of the writing team not being able to devote a single chapter to such a grand fight, so they needed to stretch it out so CRWBY could actually animate it within reasonable deadlines, which meant sacrificing time for those arcs that so desperately needed development.

So what overall is gonna fix RWBY’s pacing in the future? Well, I think at the moment the show is too ambitious. If it wants to keep to a reasonable production schedule, they need to control the scale of their finales so that it can be completed without needing to sacrifice other storylines. If it wants to hold onto that ambition and make the finales as grand as they want it to be to do their boy Monty proud, then they absolutely need to delay the actual release of the volume so they can put in the proper amount of time to both the story and animation. And I don’t think anyone would mind waiting a little longer for Volume 7 if it meant this show got the care and attention it needs to tell the story it clearly wants to tell.

Conclusions

Evaluating Volume 6 is impossible without evaluating what came before it. RWBY was never a perfect show, but when you lose someone who was responsible for the show’s popularity in the first place and have to change how it’s made to make up for his absence, there’s going to be backlash. Backlash from the fans, and, uh, backlash from inside the company. The fact is, people are never going to be satisfied with the RWBY that Rooster Teeth makes today, and Rooster Teeth is never going to push out a RWBY that will make everyone happy. All they can really do is keep moving forward.

And move forward they did. Despite my problems with the finale, Volume 6 was good. I’ve always been sort of ambivalent about the show (I was drawn to it by my brother shortly before Monty’s death and have been watching it out of respect for him and the company as creative artists), and even if I thought some of RWBY’s critics were being too harsh (or seriously needed to find something better to do), I didn’t find Volumes 4 and 5 enjoyable enough that I felt like defending them. But guys, Volume 6 did something amazing: it made RWBY fun to watch again. Focused, consistent, and compelling storytelling plus gradually eased-in worldbuilding made for a story that I could follow along without having to juggle so many different plots. Improvements in the overall animation made things nice to look at and when fights happened they were always entertaining, never making me cringe or grimace, always making me think “Hell yeah, beat the shit out of them!” Just like I felt back in the old days of the show.

I feel as though what’s holding RWBY back at this point, however, is adhering to the production schedule that its old vision called for in making its current vision. And it honestly cannot keep doing that. RWBY is a show trying to reach grand heights, and its rushed production timelines and lost story arcs are keeping it tethered to the ground. Yet I can’t help but say: Volume 6 is RWBY at its finest so far. It can’t fix the problems that previous volumes have had, but it builds on the void those problems left to build a story that makes this show feel like something worth following once more.

So, I can safely say I’ll be following along when RWBY returns for Volume 7...hopefully later rather than sooner (again, it needs a better production schedule).

[beyainica-blog]

Guess who’s in the 230’s?

A bit bittersweet considering I could have been this weight monday. But I will take it and stop beating myself up.

I am literally 9lbs away from the 220’s. 13 days left until valentines day.

My goal is to get to 220 on valentines. I mean I want to be lower but I will take that. I’m 18lbs away with 13 days left. I need to lose 1.4lbs a day for 13 days to get there. I think I can do it.

Lets start with the bad.

Heart?

Even though I only workout 7-14 mins every day I have been STRUGGLING to get through my workouts. Like it takes me an hour at the gym to complete 14 min workouts. I have no idea what it could be. It honestly could be a whole host of things. I had pneumonia last week, even if the virus is gone. I read that you will feel fatigue for weeks after. Also, I’m on a liquid diet, I’m going to be tired anyway. And on phentermine. My heart is literally racing which it didn’t before, just after pneumonia. Like during my workout I can feel my heart beat out my chest. I guess the caffiene doesn’t have a buffer because I don’t eat

I am extremely weak. At work I try my very best to hold it together. But I feel faint. Luckily it hasn’t been so busy so I don’t have too much to do but still. I’m lucky I have my powerade, it gives me a LITTLE energy and there is enough sugar to keep me standing. I honestly think I’m burning too many calories for not eating anything. Like I don’t count the calories I burn at work standing, I only count when I work out. But yes I do burn calories standing everyone does. Idk if I should shorten my workouts on days that I work. It would be pretty dumb of me to drive to the gym for a 4-5 min workout. It’s already stupid of me to drive there for a 7 min workout. But I will do it. Maybe not workout days I’m working. Idk. I’m losing weight rapidly. I don’t want to give up working out because I want to be toned by the end of it. All of this stress I’m putting myself in is taking a toll on my heart so I need to take it easy.

Take little steps to make it better.

1. Take phentermine AFTER my workouts. See if my heart beats less

If that works thats how I’ll do it. I only took phentermine before because it helped my energy. Thats when I was restricting with food not liquid.

To help with energy. HONESTLY. I don’t drink enough. I think I’m cute and dainty when I don’t finish my powerades because I never do. Like not on purpose I just dont feel like it. Powerade is the only source for electrolytes for me. So I HAVE to drink it. Electrolyte imbalance can also affect heart rate. Honestly I don’t drink powerade or enough electrolyte water which I special order and have been since my water fast. My regime should be to drink a litre of electrolyte water and a whole powerade. Thats enough electrolytes I feel. Tommorow, I’m bringing my 50fl ounces Assentia water that I got for .79 cents which is normally $3. I am drinking that entire thing. You know what I can start doing drinking my water in the car. On my way to work start on it. Don’t start at work. Its less stress to finish. Start finishing my water before I even touch my powerade.

I have to bear with the weakness. I’m fine somewhat its not unbearable yet. I feel the most exhausted after work. I feel like because I’m in a public setting my body just knows to keep it together. I hope I don’t faint until I’m in the 180’s at least. I won’t be THAT heavy but still a complete fat ass.

I plan to keep this liquid diet going. If I become overwhelmed the first thing I will stop is exercise. Even though the workouts are short af. Thats the first thing to go. On days I don’t work. If the problem continues I may have to alternate. One day liquid. One day 500 calories + exercise. I want to be skinny but I want to be alive with minimal damage. Eating isnt binging. Binging is ordering 16 tenders and an X large pizza from Papa Johns with chocolate and a litre of coke. I didn’t plan to eat at all during feburary, but you bet your ass I will if I ABSOLUTELY have too. Honestly I feel like it would make the weight loss faster. Eating 500 is higher than what my body is accustomed to now, so my metabolism will get faster. Like I said, only when I feel like I HAVE to I will eat. The worst thing is having to exercise everything off. Thats what I hated the most about restricting. I love on this liquid diet I only have to workout 7-14 mins a day. Imagine. 14 mins of exercise to burn off a powerade. 5 chicken tenders at 108 calories each would take 32 mins. Thats insane. But at least I’ll have the energy for it.

I am addicted to this FAST weightloss though. I woke up at 240lbs honestly. After work I was 238lbs exactly. We love flunctuations.

Sweating

I have always been a sweater. Like this is genetics. Even when I was younger and skinnier I sweat. But as I’ve gotten bigger I notice that I sweat ALOT more. Its so fucking emberrassing. I’m so scared at work. Literally was getting slight vagina sweat. I can’t even think about it. Everyone will think my vagina is diseased. Its just sweat. I wear a waist trainer. 1. To hide my belly. 2. So it can catch my back sweat. It only goes to my back so I have to wear a tank top under neath. I don’t have a good one because I refuse to spend money on it. Maybe I should start wearing my sports bras and tank until I lose a bit of weight. I started wearing a long sleeve to hide my bat arms but I get so over heated its not even funny. Like I start to sweat everywhere. Yeah having three articles of clothes will make anyone sweat. Of course the heater is on in the resturant I work at because its winter. Mix that with running around to tend to guests you have a sweaty bitch. Being fat doesnt help at all. Neither does being gentically proned to sweat. It makes it 10x worse. So I had to take off my longsleeve at work today because I just clocked in and vacuumed and could already feel the sweat accumulate. AND I JUST GOT THERE. I said nah.

But I guess good news my work shirt is a lot bigger on me, hides my bat arms better than before. The only thing I hate is you can still see my stretch marks on my arms. But they have cleared a bit, it use to be deep ridges in my arm but I lost almost 70lbs. When I get to 200lbs I don’t think they will be there anymore. I’m certain by 180lbs they won’t I bet my life.

My work uniform is black so that makes it worse though I’m thank ful. Today I had to shave my vagina and armpits to stop the sweat some what. Only to wear polyester under wear because again. I don’t wear underwear and I refuse to buy them unless they’re a medium or small. Right now large gives me wedgies so maybe I can fit into a M/L idk but I gotta get more under wear don’t have a choice because I can’t work without underwear. You know Idk if its because I had pneumonia, or if its the phentermine, or if its the liquid diet. But weeks before I didnt sweat this much. I went to work frequently without underwear. I wore my long sleeve shirt no problem. Now its a problem. Sweat can also be caused by fighting an infection. Maybe I’m still fighting the pneumonia. The thing about pneumonia is even after the virus is eliminated by antibiotics its still going to kick your ass for a few weeks. Fatigue and cough

Another thing is I move so fast at work by the time I get back to my post I’m sweating its good but, bad at the same time

Weight is still an issue and why I sweat so much so this is just an incentive to lose more weight.

Goals

I see my doctor on the 22nd or 23rd a week after valentines. I hope to be 209 or lower. By then and if I can keep on this diet I think I can. Last time I was there I was 254 (260 on their scale) so 209 will be a PLEASANT suprise and they will be very happy. Thats a 51lb weight loss and thats ALOT of weight. They will literally worship my feet and give me more phentermine they’ll give me anything I want. Though I gotta do blood work so thats like $168 but its okay it has to be done I understand. I made alot this pay period and the only thing I have to pay is, registration, tax, inspection, gym $10, mom and buy more water and powerade. I should have like $200 left. If not I deffo get paid again the 15th of this month. The 2nd of March. (The day after my cheat day) so my cheat day is on a thursday. Good. Maybe I’ll push it to saturday. Or the day I’m off. Definetly want to be out of the 200’s by the end of feburary thats my top goal.

Valentines day

I hope I’m not hyping it for nothing. I hope I get something from someone.

If I lose 2lbs for the next 13 days I’ll be 212lbs on valentines. (Could have been 207)

If I lose 1.5lbs for the next 13 days. I’ll be 218lbs (could have been 213)

If I lose 1lb a day for the next 13 days I’ll be 225lbs (could have been 220 exactly)

I hope I lose at least 1.5lbs a day consistently. So far I been losing 2-3lbs everyday. 3lbs mostly I would love to lose 3lbs a day for 13 days that would be EXCELLENT. That would put me at 199lbs exactly (could have been 194) imagine if that actually happened. I would DIE. I’m 39lbs away from getting out of the 200’s I’m excited. I just hope I’m losing weight for a reason. Honestly lose 1kg a day is reasonable I eat less than 300 calories a day, and I bet you my starting weight was more than this girl whoever she is. If I get to 199lb by valentines. Bitch. I will be 180lb by the end of feburary. Plateau nor metabolism will stop me.

Boss

Lately I noticed that every time I go to work I work with my one manager that likes me. I can tell he likes me because the other manager which is his friend is always around. They giggle and stare at me. He makes the schedule so that I only work with him. Its kind of cute. I like how I make him shy. But sometimes I get flustered. He catches me off guard. He walks REALLY slow towards me its kind of nerve racking. I purposely dont look at him because its emberrassing. He keeps coming up to me but saying ABSOLUTELY nothing. Adorable.

Jeans

I really wanted to wear size 9 jeans, on valentines. But it wasnt because of my binge. I dont think I was going to fit in them anyway until I get to 180’s but its okay.

My size 16 wide are so fucking loose. The day they fall off my body is the day I stop wearing them period. Until then we gon wear it sis.

Belly

Despite the weightloss I don’t think my bell has been affected at all granted. I’ve only lost like 15lbs I just dont see it in my stomach which is my first problem area. I hope by valentines day at, atleast 212lbs it will reduce. Seriously I’m tired of looking at it. When I was in college at 22, I was 213 and my stomach was FLAT. I remember because I weighed myself. So these next 26lbs better be fucking good to me or I’m FIGHTING. A pound of fat in terms of physical is huge. On the scale its nothing. I’m tired of having a pouch in my jeans. I’m tired of looking at it hang. It needs to go. Arms next. At 180lb I better not see a fucking bat wing in sight.

[theparaminds]

It’s not as though Natalie Green knew what this year held in store or what would exist at the end of the road. Though, at every step of the way, he kept going. Embodied in both his music and his story of perseverance, is a rare example of an artistic soul that found peace where few would ever dream to look. It took months of learning and continued questioning of himself and what he wanted to be. But in the end, it resulted in a man anew.

With a new project taking shape in studio sessions that contrast his earlier life, Natalie Green is finding a voice he previously was nervous to share, speaking louder than before. The ideas, memoirs and anxieties he hopes to express have become clear. With every note, he continually finds himself as much as he does connect to those who battle the same confusions.

Natalie Green now stands with a new asset he hadn’t held prior, the ability to embark on the path he wants, not the one life throws him upon. He can stand and become the artist he visualizes, the artist he knows is essential to reveal to the world. For the first time in a while, Natalie Green is in control, with a steering wheel in hand and a road of possibility on the horizon.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how are you?

Things have been hectic, but good. Good busy you know? There are different kinds of busy and this one has been all positive.

On your last EP last year, it sounded like you weren’t fully at peace, do you find that you are now after a year of personal introspection?

Yeah for sure, when I was writing the EP, I was in a really terrible place physically, emotionally and mentally. It was a passion project when it came out, I didn’t have to think about it. Whereas now, I’ve got a place, I’m not just in my car anymore, I emotionally feel a lot more centered, I have my head on straight. I’ve found friends and people that I love to surround myself with. Everything’s been a thousand times better.

When you’re looking within this shift you’ve undertaken, where do you think you’ve personally grown the most, whether artistically or as an individual?

I think I’ve gotten more empathetic towards people. All people. As well, I feel more self-aware. What I realized when living in my car was that I didn’t know myself. Living in a house again with roommates made me, in a new way, learn more about myself, and where I needed to spend a lot of time mentally. As far as musically, I feel more confident, I think that’s apparent in my vocals and instrumentation, they’re far more personal in that sense.

With the new year in season, being a time of reflecting upon the past year, do you have any memories that stick out to you as positive through the difficult and turbulent times?

There’s a lot. I don’t know if there’s one specific moment, but definitely moving into the apartment. I also got to play a private show in my friend’s backyard for all my close friends. That was a big moment for me. There’s a lot of moments where I had friends reassure me, and believe in me when I wasn’t doing so myself. One of my best friends from back home came to live here a little while ago, that was really special to have him back. The whole tour with Roy, of course, was inspiring, to see him do all that and becoming closer to everyone I went on tour with will forever be in my memories.

With that tour, and even more so working on Cat Heaven, happening while you were working on your own projects, did they influence the way you approached your new work?

There are certain things I learn from other people I can implement in my own music later. There will be something I’ll figure out while I’m working with someone, be it a sound or a new style, I can kinda pull out later. A lot of it is just talking to others and learning their inspirations and how that reflects in their music. Then turning and comparing that to my own influences and seeing how I do the same. It’s all just inspiration.

To touch on that idea of inspiration, you’ve mentioned in the past how you have a wide range on influences in your life in terms on music, but in the last year, which artists have really been influencing the work you’re putting out?

There’s been a lot of really great artists I just got into this past year-ish, but a big one is Michelle Zauner, who’s the singer for Japanese Breakfast. I’m hugely inspired by her, the fact she directs her own music videos and does all her own creative output, it’s really amazing. I’ve also loved the movies of Michel Gondry and the writing of Charlie Kaufman, anything they work on is amazing and so intoxicating.

With this new album you’re ramping up to release, has there been a difference in approach to how you wrote songs and lyrics? And how does that process look like?

I mean it’s been different for almost every song, I tried to do the album the same way I did the EP, and it wasn’t working right. Every song I wrote just felt lacklustre or the same. So to change it up, I had to change my methods, like the first song I wrote, I did two guitar parts first and then I sang, then produced over. That is very different to the EP which was songs first then lyrics. There are certain songs where before I recorded, I had a guitar riff and just wrote the song in a very traditional way, just chords and singing. Maybe loops would be first at times, and then they’d be built off of. Everything has been different.

It’s interesting because it sounds like you’ve really been adding more to your skill set as an artist, would you say that if you had a tool belt of music, that you’ve been adding towards it in the last while?

Yeah, definitely. I’ve been doing that my whole life honestly. I started in bands, not knowing how to produce or anything, but I could play guitar and from then I learned the bass just to add of that. Then I learned production, and that is forever useful. Now I’m working more to be an artist and learn what that entails and requires. Every time I learn something new I really take that and hold onto it until needed.

If you could create your ideal music creation space, where would it be and how would it look like?

That’s interesting, It would really just need to be a secluded place. A place I could disappear and a place I could be as loud as I want as late as I want. No interruptions, all the equipment I needed. Some food, drinks and a bathroom, that’s all I need.

Over the year you’ve posted some concerts you went to, like Paramore in the summer. Are there other shows you saw live that really had an impact upon you and maybe changed the way you approach live shows yourself?

Well, of course, the tour with Roy, he’s been super inspiring in general and watching the man work is amazing. He has a lot of fantastic ideas and he goes through with them. I saw Daisy as well, and they’re so good live. Solange was also amazing with her stage design and her choreography. I also saw Soccer Mommy pretty recently, and it wasn’t too extravagant but it was so well done and exciting to see as a fan of the music.

When you’re on stage, even something like the backyard show you mentioned earlier, what’s the emotion you’re trying to achieve and what is the mindset that you find yourself within at that moment?

When I played that private show, I realized all my songs were pretty mellow and hard to dance or move to. All except for Beachwood didn’t translate very well. So with this new project, I want them to translate really well live, to feel energetic, to feel lively. The songs are just fun. But I keep that emotion in and make sure that I don’t lose what made the earlier work so special and important.

What’s been the overall message you’re trying to pursue this new work and what is it you’re hoping to convey?

I kinda just want to tell my story. Or a story of mine. If people learn things from that, its great, but I’m just saying what happened in my experience. What I realized is that there’s a lot of shitty things that happened to me in my life, but the truth is that things could be a lot worse, so far they’ve been pretty good for the most part. While I had those tough days, I’m still here kicking it.

I apologize if it’s a repeated question, but with the topic of your story, what’s the meaning behind the stage name you’ve taken upon yourself?

It is and it isn’t part of my story in a way. A big part of that choice was that I wanted to separate myself from my old name and work. I wanted this to be super new. The name is taken from two names of people I am very inspired by. And it also, to me, sounds like the quintessential hot girl from a high school, the girl in the coming of age movie they all go after.

If you had a message to artists out there who may find themselves in the same space as you have previously found yourself within, those who may feel as unsure, what would be your lesson to pass on?

I think it doesn’t matter if you’re as confident or as talented as you want to be, as long as you recognize what sounds good to you, just put out the song. It doesn’t matter if you think your voice was bad, just keep progressing as an artist. If you wait for that progression you’ll never put stuff out, you’ll never be happy. With whatever you have right now, just start putting something, anything, out.

Follow Natalie Green on Twitter and Instagram

Listen on Soundcloud and Spotify

All Photos by Guthrie King

[voidbeantm]

the post-concert sadness is intense this time round and i really didn't feel like dumping this on twitter or any of my friends so it's going here ignore me just let me ramble

i really dont know what it is about concerts that leave so many people with post-concert sadness. it's so common and yet it's really hard to pinpoint a main cause.

part of it has to be the crash that comes when the post-concert euphoria wears off. it's like caffeine. the buzz is incredible but the crash is extremely draining.

maybe it's the fact that ive spent so long looking at these people and these performances through a small screen. as much as i talk about how important it is to conceptualise and treat celebrities like real people, the fact of the matter is that no matter what, celebrities never really seem like "real people". yes, they're real people but they're essentially strangers. and when you spend most of your time observing them through a screen, your brain starts feeling about them the same way it feels about fictional characters you really really like. they're real but you never really expect to see them with your own two eyes, walking and talking in front of you. there's a disconnect between how you feel and what you know rationally. suddenly, it hits you that these people are real and right there, being completely incredible. every frustrating facial expression, every surprising and dangerous dance move, every tiny moment of friendship and banter, it's real, they're doing it right in front of your eyes.

maybe it's the fact that for the first time ever, im not alone during a concert and suddenly, my anxieties leave me completely and allow me to completely let loose instead of holding back just a smidge like i always have. ive seen them twice before this but none of them were the korean concerts and ive always been alone and ive never gone this wild before. it's freeing and euphoric and we refer again to what i said about euphoria crash.

maybe it's seeing them in their most natural comfortable state relative to being onstage. the two times i saw them previously were in singapore and malaysia. it's evident that they're much more comfortable in their homeland. which, by the way, completely understandable!! for one, there's no language barrier in the way and they're free to express themselves fully without having to pause for the translator which, no matter what, will always distrupt the natural flow of banter. there's the fact that the concert hall is so so so much bigger. there's the fact that the crowd at home probably just feels familiar and comfortable. vixx and kstarlights have such a close rapport that they rarely have to guess how the crowd will react to the things they say or do. with foreign crowds that you dont perform to as often, every single time it's a gamble. there's a much bigger pressure to impress and do as well as possible to leave a lasting impression in order to grow your audience there. i dont know the right words to describe it but there was just something different about seeing them this time. they were so open and comfortable. maybe what i said about finally having friends to share this experience with earlier applies here as well in a way. when i was alone, it wasnt like i enjoyed them any less, i just felt a tiny bit less free to let loose. in the company of familiar and comfortable people, i was finally able to. it could possibly be the same for them as well.

on my end there was the whole business of sitting so far away that i watched the whole thing through either my binoculars or the display screen. i always forget that im not able to pause a real life performance and go back to rewatch parts i might have missed. during concerts, it's do or die. if you miss it, you miss it. i haven't had the chance to check fanaccounts or fancams in detail on twitter but even a brief glace told me that i most definitely missed quite a few bits. and with the amount rewinding i freely admit to doing, it's not a surprise how much i hate missing out on things.

related to the above, im actually not sure how much of me missing out was actually just me being unable to remember most of anything that happens during a concert once it is over. especially when it comes to new songs. aside from a few key parts of the choreography, i barely remember what the performances for the new songs were like. i can't remember most of what happened. this always happens to me after every single concert and apparently, im not the only one. it's like there's something about the nature of a concert that exists in a time-shifted dimension. everything exists and is held in that dimension, in that moment of time alone. you're only ever able to bring scraps of it out with you. it's like trying to hold onto a dream after you've woken up. unless you write down everything right away, it's gone. but then you see a stray photo, the odd fancam, and it triggers a memory. it's almost magic. and you can't just rewatch the performances through fancams or the dvd even though you'd have a much easier time seeing everything going on but it's just different. you'd be back to seeing them on a screen again. and dreams dont work like that anyway dreams are lived once, the rest are just disjointed memories.

finally, there is just plain old missing them. i already miss them. i just got reminded once again that they're real and in front of me over a day ago and now they're back to being images on a screen. every song i hear, every video i watch just makes me remember that, at one point, they were real. and i miss them.

honestly, this it didnt really fully hit until i boarded the plane alone and set off for home. for the first time in three days, i was without friends to fill the void or the stress of travelling on a time limit to distract me. suddenly, i just felt sad and hollow and tired. on a personal level im probably also exhausted both physically and mentally from the constant travelling, especially on a time limit as well as socially from meeting "new" people and being in the presence of people in general for a few days straight. ren and natsu were incredible and so fun (i will not ever get over what it's like to hang out with actual starlights ever) but you know how it is with introversion. even when you with people you want to be with, your energy will deplete. my brain is telling me it's going to clock out for a good few days before its ready to come back again

i dont have a satisfying conclusion to this mess of words. i dont even know how i feel now that ive bled off all of my feelings into text. it's a mix of sadness, wistfulness, and residual awe because everything i said above as well as having to say goodbye to my friends.

i dont want this long ramble to make it seem like im not grateful for the opportunity to see them in a korean concert. i absolutely am. i will cherish this memory forever. i just. i wish i were both less and more predictable of a person. if i could i want to do it again. i want to see them in a korean concert again. but i don't know what i'll be like a year from now. what if i no longer like them? some people probably find these to be blasphemous words but im not going to lie about myself. interests change. ive gone through so many obsessions in my over two decades of life. given, this is the most involved ive ever been in an interest and the only fandom ive ever made any friends in. but what if i do stop liking them? based on available data, the average length of an obsession is about three years for me. im approaching my third year as a starlight. my projected expiry date is coming up. i dont want it to. but i dont think i can stop it if it does. i shouldn't. no one is obligated to like anything they dont want to. but i dont want to not like them anymore. i dont want to lose what ive managed to find here.

[cryingbilldenbrough]

Ok for the wheelzier twins i cant help to think that they bicker over the most mundane of things like cereal then milk or milke then cereal and which came first: the chicken or the egg. The one thing that will forever be something they go head to head against is who was born first like richie thinks its him bc of some overly complicated thing like the cosmos and universe and mike thinks its him bc he has like pictures of him as a baby before richie came out but richie feels those were faked

ok so i touched on this a liiiittle in this post, but i firmly believe that richie is older and it is a defining characteristic of his and mike’s relationship (or lackthereof)

step one: richard wentworth wheeler is born, kicking and screaming his lungs out, at 11:59am on a tuesday. he’s got a full head of hair and squinty eyes

three minutes later michael theodore wheeler makes his debut. he’s already taller than richie and he cries like he’s irritated to be alive

from that moment on, it’s all downhill

nancy is what, four? so she like wants to hold “her babies” and their dad takes turns setting both boys carefully down into her outstretched arms, teaching her how to support the head

and immediately, baby richie loves nancy

baby mike is not impressed and doesn’t stop screaming until his mom takes him back

“my richie” nancy says, running a chubby finger down his cheek, and fate is Sealed

so like, the idea is that richie and nancy bond a lot throughout their childhood

cause here is the big thing: mike and richie are two different kinds of kid

richie is a geek

and mike is a nerd

and nancy wheeler is most definitely a geek

richie bonds with his big sister over schoolwork, studying math and science together

they do like, cute little science projects like building lava volcanoes in the kitchen and like digging in the mud in the backyard

richie sleeps on nancy’s floor for like a whole year when they’re eight because he and mike get in a fight over who gets top bunk on their bunk beds

he comes down to breakfast with his toenails painted and mike isn’t jealous of that but he is kind of jealous of the way nancy ruffles richie’s hair fondly

mike only gets to spend time with nancy when she humors him plays fantasy board games with him and even that’s few and far between

nancy is also the only one who really gets richie’s humor, laughing quietly into her hand at the dinner table

mike sometimes thinks they would have been better off twins rather than him and richie

mike builds the blanket fort in the basement to escape them sometimes, to curl up in the darkness and to forget that there’s supposed to be someone by his side

so mike goes out and makes friends of his own and tries to ignore how much it hurts when richie calls himself “your big brother”

cause they were supposed to be in this together, that’s what twins means

so he’s like………. super lonely……….. throughout childhood

and then! he meets will byers on the playground

and it’s the BEST DAY OF HIS LIFE

because finally, he gets someone of his own

someone who understands him the way his twin was supposed to and someone who loves him 4 him, not for preconceived notions of who he should be!

BUT will byers goes missing

and like, richie has been really distant lately so when mike comes to him, close to tears because will wasnt in school and the cops wanted to talk to him and mom and dad wont let mike go out and look for him and he doesn’t know what to do,

richie gets this weird look in his eyes

and grabs mike by the shoulders and is like

“do NOT go looking for him”

“you’re not my fucking dad, rick,” mike shoots back and like, richie looks more seriously than mike has ever seen

“i’m not joking, mikey!” richie says, shaking his brother’s shoulders “there’s bad things in this town”

mike hits his hands away angrily and stalks down to the basement to call lucas on the walkie talkie

later, mike finds out that as soon as he left richie, his brother called bill denbrough and whispered down the line how scared he was

but all mike knew then was that his twin was trying to be his Smart Big Brother again and he’s fucking grown out of that shit! he’s too old to get treated like richie’s annoying little brother!!

anyway, mike goes out and meets eleven and has another person who likes him best and suddenly he’s not sad about it anymore

he’s fucking angry

one night nancy defends richie at the dinner table, arguing with mike that richie didn’t steal his gameboy, you forgot it at school again you idiot

and they’re teaming up against him, with twin looks of distaste at mike on their faces

and mike’s HAD IT

he pushes off from the dinner table stalks up to his room and he can hear nancy’s footsteps behind him

“you always liked richie better anyway” mike says, slamming the door

nancy barges right into his room as he throws himself down onto the bottom bunk

“i dont like richie better!” she says and mike rolls his eyes into the covers

“i dont!” nancy repeats, sitting down on the corner of the bed. she reaches a hand out to touch mike’s back and he flips over to glare at her

“he should have been your twin” mike mutters and nancy sighs

suddenly she looks a lot older than mike thinks she should

“i know i spent more time with rick when we were kids than i did with you,” nancy starts “but he was such a lonely kid, mike.”

mike is silent

“you had your friends like will and dustin and lucas and richie didn’t have anyone,” 

mike’s angry now, because richie had HIM 

richie had MIKE and he didn’t think mike was GOOD ENOUGH

“it’s not your fault. you’re allowed to have favorites,” mike says, and something’s burning in his chest “richie wasn’t supposed to, though”

“what?” nancy says and mike feels tears prick at his eyes

“he was supposed to always like me best and he picked you instead”

“oh, mike,” nancy says as he cries into his hands

and it’s an old pain but it aches anyway and mike lets it flow out of him as nancy rubs his back

his eyes are dry when richie comes into their room later and he rolls over in bed so richie doesn’t try to talk to him

later, mike knows nancy told richie about it

because things are different

richie invites him and will and dustin and lucas along to go to the movies with him and his friends

(friends mike honestly didn’t notice richie making, and to be honest there’s a LOT of them)

richie takes him biking with eddie kaspbrak and bill denbrough, who mike remembers meeting when will was still presumed missing because bill was the only kid whose parents let him go along with the search party

and one night, long after everyone else has gone to sleep, mike finds richie in the basement blanket fort

(he’d been sneaking downstairs to try eleven on the walkie)

richie’s curled up against the wall and he nods at mike as he climbs down the stairs

“what are you doing up?” mike asks, folding his knees to his chest and pulling the blanket closed around them

richie looks kind of pale in the soft light

“couldn’t sleep,” he answers and mike sees the dark circles under his glasses “had a nightmare”

“you’ve been having a lot of those lately” mike observes and richie is silent

mike knows something happened last summer, while he was too busy trying to move on and make new friends, and it changed richie

he’s a little more serious now, a little more careful

“dont worry about me” richie says, putting on one of his annoying Voices “your old big bro is doing just fine”

and mike sighs

he thought they were over this but apparently not

“what?” richie says, noticing his slumped shoulders

“you’re not my big brother”

“am too,” richie argues “those three minutes without you were the best three minutes of my life” 

mike’s heard this joke before and he’s really just tired tonight

he starts to get up and richie catches his arm

“you know…” he starts, biting his lip. “you can tell me anything right?”

“i know,” mike sighs and richie just holds harder 

“you know i gotta watch out for you right?” richie says and its almost desperate? it’s almost like he needs mike to assure him he’s needed??? and mike is Not Feeling It. “thats what big brothers do”

“YOURE NOT MY BIG BROTHER” mike yells, and he knows he’s gonna wake somebody up but he doesnt care because richie just WONT GET IT

“you’ve never been my fucking older brother” and richie looks so hurt and it kind of makes mike feel good so he keeps going “you dont need to take care of me, i can fucking look after myself, you’re just a dumb trashmouth why dont u go mother one of your weird geek friends im so fucking sick of you”

and richie looks WRECKED

(richie only ever wanted mike to look up to him like richie looks up to nancy)

(he didn’t know that by trying to be mike’s confidant he was pushing him further away)

“i don’t need an older brother” mike is wrapping up, and there’s tears running down richie’s face and steaming up his glasses and mike’s crying too and gOD he really didn’t want to do this but it feels so fucking good to get it all out “i just need my twin”

richie fuckin knocks into him like a ton of bricks, wrapping his arms around mike and squeezing him tight

and they cry together, tucked into the blanket fort with only the light of a lamp shining across the basement

send me prompts/headcanons/fic requests!

[gay-jesus-probably]

so i’ve already done a well recieved text post on some actual facts about takashi shirogane and the entire thing is mostly joking but also completely my headcanons forever

but i figured in honour of season three just kidding i’ve been up all night reading voltron fanfiction havent gotten around to watching S3 yet so here some shiro headcanons that are actually my legit take on his life pre-kerberos

he’s only a partial american citizen. as a teenager, he was a japanese citizen with a school visa to attend the garrison, and after graduating he very easily recieved a work visa, but eventually for conveniences sake reluctantly went for partial citizenship once things started getting serious. he’s not happy about it. he’s in america for the space, he’s not a fan of the country as a whole.

and on the same note, due to being an american and japanese citizen, during the early stages of the kerberos mission set up (like years before launch) the publicity team initially tried to label him as an american astronaut. the second he found out, shiro very firmly demanded that everything related to him be marked with japans flag, not americas, thank you very much.

and again on that note, due to being the sole pilot of the furthest space mission ever, and doing it as a japanese astronaut, shiro met the prime minister of japan once. if there wasnt pictures of him with the prime minister, shiro probably would have convinced himself it wasnt real.

his first language was japanese, obviously. he learned how to read at about three, due to his parents reading to him literally every night, and also him being a genius. he didn’t give the faintest hint of a fuck about other languages, until he realised he wanted to join the galaxy garrison, at which point he went oh shit it’s only in english there, and started studying english like a madman. and spanish, because america’s got two official languages and you never know. and french and russian, because canada and russia are the other major players in space, and you can never be too careful.

mind you he learned these all in a purely academic setting as a teenager, so while he was fluent in all of them by the time he was old enough for the garrison, he was unpleasantly surprised to find that everyone used too much slang and contractions, and he was speaking in a very stilted and mechanical way with a hell of an accent. it took him about a year to get his english to a natural level, and he put up with harrasment for years until he managed to completely scrub out his accent. as a result, the majority of his friends at the garrison were other ESL students from overseas. he still kept every single one of his electronics set to japanese, and when tired, distracted or stressed, if someone tries to talk to him he is much more likely to respond in japanese without noticing. any time he’s returning from a trip home to visit his family, for the first week he starts every other sentence in rapid japanese, stops halfway through, thinks it over, and repeats himself in slower english. its rough to switch over.

he started going by shiro because in his first year, luck of the draw meant he was the only non-american in his astrophysics class, and the instructor was one who believed in groupwork and lots of it, so within a month everyone was acquaintances. there was mass confusion about if shiro’s name was shirogane or takashi, and attempts to explain made it worse. the matter was not helped by this being first year, and shiro not having the best grasp on conversational english. eventually he gave up and just told them all to call him shiro, because just shirogane sounded weird when everyone else went by their first names, and people kept pronouncing takashi weird so he gave up and took a nickname. it grew on him and he stuck with it.

while the garrison had the most international students out of any school in america, it was still very much a predominantly american school with 60% of the students being american. another 20% were canadian, british or australian. white native english speakers were a vast majority, and shiro had to deal with some racists. the racists he honestly didnt mind too much, because he could just physically drag them to an instructor he knew was sympathetic, explain what happened, and boom problem solved. what he absoloutely fucking hated were the weeaboos. he hated them. hated them so much. as a very attractive japanese teenager, he was getting weird fetishizing love letters at least once a month. and the amount of times he got invited to join the anime club. explaining to them that no he actually couldnt stand anime was too much of a chore to be worth it. eventually he worked out how to be juuuust enough of an asshole that they went away, but he wasnt in trouble for it. it was a very frustrating part of his life.

he grew up on hokkaido, specifically in sapporo because hunk and lance are both from tropical islands, keith is from desert texas, and pidge probably lived in the south her whole life because her father was a Big Deal with the galaxy garrison, which is the evolved form of NASA, and NASA operated entirely in the south. my canadian heart cannot handle an entire team thats used to just different shades of fucking hot, i need one of them to be from freeze your balls off up north, and its gotta be shiro.

although ironically, while shiro was more than happy to join the unofficial tradition of students from cold areas laughing at students from warm areas whenever the temperatures dropped, shiro was spending most of the year in florida, where the garrison is, and going back to sapporo during the summer for breaks, as the winter and spring break werent long enough to make the flights worth it. his tolerance for the cold dropped dramatically. his first year after graduating, he went back to sapporo in december for the first time, and was very displeased to realise that he was not prepared for the cold anymore. not prepared at all. oh god. holy shit.

after his application into the garrison was approved, things were a bit awkward for shiro because this meant unenrolling from the high school he’d been attending, and waiting to start class in the new semester at the galaxy garrison. he got the acceptance in spring. classes in japan start in april. classes in america start in september. it was like being on break, but it lasted half a year. it was surreal for shiro. i mean sure, there was preparing to go to america alone, but passport and visa prep only takes up so much time, and luggage/packing isnt a problem until the week leading up to leaving. he spent a lot of time lying around the house during that half year. you can only study alone for so long before you need to do something else. the sudden switch from the highly pressured japanese school enviroment to ~nothing to do~ was very jarring, but ended up functioning as a sort of gap year. as a genius kid, he was under a lot of pressure. being able to take a step back and breathe did him a world of good.

shiro is extremely foul mouthed, but has a reputation for almost never swearing. this is because he never completely gets the hang of english swearing, and decides to just not bother with working out how to properly say things that will land him in shit anyways. but he swears. almost constantly. just, in japanese. its hilariously common for other students to think “oh, there goes shiro, thinking outloud to himself” while shiro is actually violently swearing under his breath about forgetting his notes in his dorm. in his last year, he accidentally traumatized a first year from tokyo, when he was attempting to find a book he needed for his thesis from the library, and the computer he was using refused to cooperate. this led to him furiously cursing out the poor computer. in earshot of the first year, whose offended gasp was legendary. shiro immediately bribed her into secrecy. noone must know.

shiro realised he was pansexual during his half year hangtime between high school and garrison. while not exactly locked in the closet, he didn’t really think the information needed to be shared with anyone, and he was too busy with classes to really want to date anyone. he was only trying to hide his orientation from the weeaboos, mentioned earlier, who would have gotten even worse with the creepy fetishizing and never left him alone. he’s never really dated, and his experience is fooling around with other cadets, and the occasional one night stand when he was older with civilians his age in the nearby town. upon being considered for the kerberos mission, he immediately started very carefully making sure nobody found out about his sexuality. the first public broadcast from the kerberos ship was live to the world, and ended with shiro cheerfully declaring himself the first openly pansexual man in space. mission control had not been warned of this. the only parties warned in advance were sam and matt holt, and they both strongly approved of the idea.

after the kerberos team was declared dead from pilot error, it eventually came out that the garrison had no idea what caused the mission failure, and that the ship just suddenly lost communication and vanished, and that the pilot had been a convenient scapegoat. there was immediate backlash from a great deal of parties. over two dozen different LGBT and/or POC rights groups filed lawsuits against the Garrison, calling rascism and/or homophobia. international relations between america and japan turned frosty. shiro had previously been considered a national tragedy crossed with embarrasement for apparently fucking up such an important mission, but oh the speed at which that turned around. multiple cities, including sapporo and tokyo, comission statues of shiro practically overnight. he immediately swung around to national tragedy crossed with hero.

[moved-to-in-love-and-liberty]

EXR Week Day 2

or how to not follow the prompt at all

link to ao3 

The café Musain served many uses. A meeting place, a cafe, a bar. It had hosted business meetings, and the beginnings of a new novel. The open front room, with wide windows looking out on the bustling street was the perfect place to sit and enjoy a conversation with a good friend. The darker back room was perfect for planning, quotes from famous inventors, politicians, and writers covering the wall, a small R scrawled by the door stop.

One of its most utilized purposes was for first dates. The front room provided open views and a quick escape for a first meeting, and the darkened corners of the back room held the perfect room for two bodies, provided they sat close. 

Most of the Amis had used the Musain for a first date. The first time Joly and Bossuet met in person after years of online dating, was at the Musain. It was also where they met Musichetta, although that was not planned. Courfeyrac could look at any table in the building and tell a story about a date that had taken place there, successful or not. Bahorel claimed to have met his girlfriend in the back room, although no one could verify seeing as she had never returned.

It was an established fact that if two people were seen huddled over the small tables, heads bent close, that they were on a date.

Enjolras and Grantaire were the exceptions.

The first time they were seen huddled together in the back room, it was by Jehan. They walked into the back room, then walked back out, rushing up to the counter to where Eponine was standing, cup of coffee clutched in her hands and began to practically gush “How long had that been happening!?”

“Hmm?” Eponine had been working for the Musain for longer than the rest of the Amis had known about it, and while she loved Jehan, sometimes they could be a bit...much for a Tuesday morning shift. Still, she lifted her eyes to meet theirs, trying not to wince at the bowtie and neck scarf they were wearing. “How long has what been happening? The new cups?”

“What? No! You know…. Those two getting their shit together!” Jehan was practically vibrating with excitement- They had watched and written about Enjolras and Grantaire, forever separated by their own inability to be honest with each other.

They had seen Enjolras watch R clutch a bottle close after an argument, seen the longing and regret. They had seen R sketch until his hand was raw, drawn to Enjolras like it was the only thing keeping him tethered some days, drawing his attention in any way, even when it left him despondent.

“Who got their shit together?” Eponine had watched the different couples form and break within the Amis, and knew that it could refer to any of them, Courfeyrac and Combeferre, Bahorel and his girl, Joly Bossuet and Musichetta, or hell, some random couple Jehan had seen “tragic potential in”. She was much less invested in the patrons of the Musain than they had the tendency to be.

“Enjolras and R! They’re having a date! They look so cute, huddled together! How long have they been in the back room?” 

Almost as soon as the words had left their mouth, the curtain to the back room was flung open.Grantaire stormed out almost shouting, “If you insist on hating everything about me, at least be honest about it!” 

“R-wait- just-- I was just-” Enjolras was quick on his heels, spouting an explanation, but Grantaire was already gone, the door banging shut behind him. Not seeing Jehan or Eponine, he started after Grantaire for a long moment, before turning back to the back room. Moments later he appeared with his bag, leaving without sparing the rest of the cafe a glance, hands clenching and unclenching as he threw the door open and stormed out onto the street.

“Well, at least they figured out that they wouldn’t work well?” Eponine offered fidgeting with the tip jar. Not that it fooled Jehan- she wanted Enjolras and Grantaire to work out as much as the rest of the Amis. They had all watched them circle each other for much too long to hope for anything short of a fairytale ending.

“I just wish- I wish-” Jehan tried to articulate, but could find quite what they wished. That R was more confident, that Enjolras was kinder, that they could pull their heads out of their asses.

Later that night they sent Enjolras a text.

Hey I’m sorry you’re date didn’t work out.

What date?

You and R? Alone? At the Musain?

Was it supposed to be a secret?

Sorry

No, Je that wasn’t a date, it was a meeting

Well it looked like a date.

If you asked it to be a date R would say yes

Good Night Je

 Night Enjolras

 --

Courfeyrac was perhaps the most obvious. In his defense, it was about two AM when he caught them smoking together, alone, behind the dumpsters at the Musain. It was 2 AM and he had had a shots competition with Eponine at midnight. So he staggered up to the two, standing close to share a light, and leered “Is this a post-sex smoke?”

 Well.No one can say he was in full control of himself.

 And that was what it looked like! Everyone knew it. They would spend hours together at the Musain just talking, about politics, or art, or the sky or the fucking color purple. They were dating, they went on dates, but they couldn’t admit it.

 He just wants them to be happy. Enjolras was so anxious and irritable all the time- he had never really dealt with a crush before and Courfeyrac would be so much more sympathetic, he had done his fair amount of pinning, except there was no need. Grantaire was head over heels for Enjolras but refused to do anything about it and Enjolras still turned red at the mention of sex so he wasn’t going to do anything. Sometimes a relationship needs a little jumpstart and Courfeyrac wasn't afraid to be that jumpstart.

 Or the rum rushing around his body wasn’t.

 Enjolras jumped away from Grantaire, and Courfeyrac could see the flinch he caused clear across the alley. This might have not been a good idea because now Enjolras looked mad and confused, he was never one for moving any faster or slower that he wanted to, and Grantaire looked like he didn’t quite know what was going on, until Courfeyrac saw him figure it out and-

 “COURF Wh- what the hell?” Grantaire turned on him, voice filled with sadness. Or anger. It was hard to tell sometimes with Grantaire.

 “Courfeyrac what are you thinking, I would never-,” Enjolras began to splutter, “Not in a million years!” And oh lord, Enjolras was too embarrassed, or too drunk, or too tired to hear what he was saying because hardly had the words left his mouth before Grantaire was looking at him, eyes filling with hurt.

 “Okay then” R whispered, already walking back into the club, most likely on his way to the closest bottle of booze.

 Enjolras tipped his head back against the alley wall. “Thanks Courf. Thanks so much.” He pushed his way off the wall, looking very, very, tired. “I'm going home. See you in class.”

 Corfu

Thanks becase now i know he donst like me adn never will so i dnot have to try anymor

Hed never in a billion yeras

I lovr him so so much

Adn tonigh wasnt wat it llooked like

Becuase he woudl never touvh me

And i knw it now

I love tou

And i love him

 Courfeyrac was in half the mind to send it to Enjolras but he had clearly done enough. Hopefully he just hadn’t set them back to much.

 Have some water dude. I love you too.

--

 Joly, although sometimes tending towards the anxious, was pragmatic at his core. He was done with watching the two of them carefully pretend to not be interested. And sometimes a direct and gentle but not crude method was best.

 And sometimes you just need to yell to get your friends to pull their shit together.

 “IF YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU ARE INTERESTED IN AT THE MUSAIN- IT'S A DATE. WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?”

 “Joly what are you talking about?” Grantaire was blushing, but his tone was startling even. He and Enjolras were sitting next to each other in the window seat in the front room of the cafe, looking more cuddly than the actual couple at the table next to them.

 Enjolras looked less composed. “That's not true. You and Combeferre met here just this morning, and that wasn’t a date. Me and R are just friends.” Enjolras looking at him like he wanted to kill him. Probably because Joly was interrupting his one-on-one time with Grantaire.

 His regular, one-on-one meeting with someone who he was romantically interested in were they talked about common interests. And bought each other coffee. But they were so afraid to communicate it was ‘a meeting, not a date”.

 Sometimes Joly thinks the only way Enjolras was the leader was his hair. If anyone saw how hopeless he was with interpersonal communication they’d never let him speak at another rally ever again.

 “Yeah Joly, me and Enjolras just ran into each other, this wasn’t planned. We figured that if we went through the talking points for tonight's meeting then he might actually be able to think up counter points once I destroy he had planned.

 “Hm- that’s funny, I thought we were getting your obligatory shit talking aout of the way so we don’t waste our friends time tonight.”

“Really- because my shit talking doesn’t end. That's all I am. One day I’ll shit talk so much that I'll just disappear- my essence all used up.” They were grinning at each other, looking like they wouldn’t even notice if the rest of the world disappeared.

 It was sickening. And Joly studied sickening. They didn’t even deny that they were interested in each other.

 “-and when you think about it it could provide an interesting perspective on queer relationships. If it looks like a date, but it's between two people of the same gender, people will assume it's not romantic- but if a man and a woman are remotely close to each other people assume it's a date because it just ‘looks like a date’.”

 “Sure apollo, but you’re taking it too far, if someone saw two girls sitting holding hands, they’d assume it was a date- that's how street harassment happens. Literally yesterday you were arguing about how there needs to be more support for queer couples in public, you can’t turn around and say that they aren’t acknowledged in any way-”

 Joly snapped his fingers.

 “-I mean both happen, just because i’m focusing on one-”

 He waved his hands.

 “-You are not ‘focusing on one issue at a time’ yesterday you said it was oppression that all queer couples face each time they go out and not today you just said the same thing even though they directly contradict-”

 Un-fucking-believable.

 JEHAN

I’m so sick of it

Its making me sick

When i see them i start to get a migraine. And chills

Is stupidity contagious?

 They’ll figure it out.

They’re so close.

They hardly ever fight anymore. I think they need to figure it out on their own

 --

 R

 why are you texting me at 7 in the morning

i was texting you at 3 in the morning. you should know im be asleep

 I’m texting you at 7 in the morning so you will know not to text me at 3 in the morning anymore

Anyway.

If I were to ask you out, would you say yes

 what

are you serious

wait don't answer that

yes.

if you are serious

fuck you if you arent

fuck you if this is courf

why arent you answering

 Sorry

I had to put my phone down

I was doing a victory dance and didn’t want to drop it

 youre a dork holy shit

im going on a date with a dork

i assume we’ll go to the musain?

 And let all our friends see us?

 good point

i know a good creperie four stops away from any of our friends apartments

 Perfect.

[ferretphobos]

life is fucking weird

I dont know whats going on anymore. Im usually throwing myself into show after show, sometimes without even a weeks worth of rest in between. Its the only way i can feel normal. Ive tried other ways (i.e. drinking, eating ect ect). But the only real way ive found that works is working myself into exhaustion. without a show i feel like im nothing, that im worth nothing. I recently got into a semi-local show of “Grease” but backed out basically because the part wasn't worth it. Now i really regret it. I regret alot of things. The thing I fear most is being left with time to myself. it gives me time to think. thats bad. Big for instance, i recently got into a fresh relationship and almost fucked it up immediately. She is an actress that i met during my second to last show, and younger than me but just as mature (because i am immature as all hell). But because I was in a pretty long relationship where things got pretty serious i got used to certain things. I was used to constantly being in contact with my SO, and just hearing about everything going on during her day so that I felt connected. With this new relationship we talk alot face to face, but sometimes barely pass 5 sentences a day through text, It’s really weird for me. Now i realize just how busy she is, but i didnt understand before, and it ate at me. I just got broken up with a little over 5 months ago, and after 5 years together that is such a short time. I thought I was ok, but it seems to have left some things behind. She also recently got dumped and coupled with her anxiety problem did not help this situation. I stupidly took things overboard. My mind went into overdrive and mistook this lack of communication as a lack of interest, that and I really do not know what people see in me i really do not. I know I have self image issues and am pretty much doing nothing about it so...yeah. continuing, my mind took all this as i am nothing more than a rebound, thats the only reason why she would want to try a relationship in the first place, that she doesnt really know what she wants or that she is just projecting on to me and tricking herself like I did twice when I was around her age. Basically I told myself that this relationship was a lie, that we both were pretending only. That scared the shit outta me. I like to think of myself pretty laid back, but that seems to be falling apart as the years go by. So in my paranoia i texted her confronting her about it, and that went as well as that sounded. It went back and forth me not believing her claims of wanting to truly be in the relationship, and her protesting saying yes she did and that she was sorry for not responding due to a shitty week. Long story short I wallowed for a day and then contacted her to apologize. But it wasnt enough so the day after that we met and hung out until she had to go to work, but then after her work around....10ish? we met and hung out again, just us talking all thru the night again till almost 3....it was nice. we are doing better now, but i cant help but believe its all a ruse, not a purposeful one, but a ruse none the less. I dont know why im just so afraid of this ending and I know I shouldn't be! if its meant to be its meant to be we tried it out good for us, but my mind wont let me believe that. The weird thing is my family has no idea, they dont even know that me and amanda are separate, even tho that was more than 5 months ago. its not like we publicized it or anything but still, i live at home i see them practically everyday. I think I hate them, but I have to smile because I have nowhere else to go. I know Hate is such a strong word but what i feel is more than general dislike. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw or spoke to them again. The bonds I made are stronger than the ones made by blood. How sad is that? Even if i wanted to tell them i feel like I cant. Idk why. And as for amanda, when we split there were alot of declarations of love, even tho we split. It was a weird situation. I told her I prob would not date for a while after her. Because of her I feel like I cannot post anything about Emma, lest I hurt her feelings. And because we work in the same building and alot of our co-workers are friends with both of us I feel like I cant say anything about her anyways. That I would looked down on or that I would be seen as a dick. Idk what to do, I want to show her off so bad, but not if it means all this ridiculous backlash...it doesnt matter tha me and amanda have not spoken in almost two months. or that I dont speak with my parents. I still feel obligated...I hate it....I wish I could move somewhere but Im stuck for right now...I need to get out....I need to go away from alot of people.  To make things worse something else happened. During this whole fight/situation with Emma I got a Fb message. I happened to put up one of those stupid quiz “send me a number deals” and got a response back from someone I never would have imagined. I originally met him at  RCC and he was super nice and one of the more popular in the Theatre program. as far as I was aware I wasnt even on his radar, I had also about 3 months after Amanda dumped me made a tinder because I was feeling bad and wanted to see if I would get any matches at all. So apparently he saw it and messaged me about it saying that he always thought i swung both ways and that he always had a thing for me. So he started complementing me and wanting to set up a date. I always used to have a thing for him but because he was popular never dreamed it would happen, so this was a dream come true...and going against my better judgement started messaging back. I know dick move, dont worry tho. so we message for about three days and then the guilt gets to me, and I break it off. I never want to be known as a cheater....ever....to hurt anyone purposefully is just not me. I let him know the situation and apologized but i still feel horrible....I intend to tell Emma next we meet. on top of all that i havent been feeling myself this past month and a half, or rather Ive been feeling myself and that thought is all the worse. Ive been feeling like there is two anchors attached to my soul dragging me down. Dragging me down emotionally (which led to the Emma Situation), mentally, heck even physically. I constantly feel it. and when that happens its never good. last time that happened I practically became a zombie for 8 months just surviving life. not doing anything but working. Idk what is wrong with me...i hate it. I still have thoughts about death, of attaching an I.V to my arm so that my heart pushes my blood out while I literally walk my life away. The idea just came out of fucking nowhere but its perfect in my head. Walk around with an iv and attacted extender with a towel or maybe empty fluid bag(s) to empty into to all the while recording my last moments. Its almost become obsession.  I dont think I would do it for a while tho. Ive rambled for long enough and have to go back to work. 

[theoriginalivyannazimuth]

Because Reddit is having issues this is my submission to Malicious Compliance. Mostly so I can copy paste it later

Hello reddit, today I will tell you a tale of romance, betrayal, and smipublic streeking.

(WARNING THERE IS A LOT OF BACKSTORY FOR THIS SO ITS A LONG POST)

I don't go here much as I usually watch RSLASH and /Start and tend to prefer to lurk rather than post (unless its to promote my youtube) but I thought you may like to hear this, so here I go.

I don't usually put my real name online but some people may know me as LadyAzimuth (hi guys!)

I am 23 and my mother and I have always had a rocky relationship; by which I mean that she was mentally abusive to me and physically to my older sister back in the day. Now not to be rude but my mother has always had some mental problems which is why I ignored a good amount of the BS she did.

When I was young and spending the weekend at my father's i spilled some fries witch ketchup however and immediately began sobbing and apologizing for making a mess and going into full panic attack mode. My father calmed me down and asked me some questions which made me come to the realization that I was being pretty heavily abused by my mother.

Couple that with the many MANY years of physical abuse (I was bi in the late 90s and early 2000s and it wasnt legal to marry where I am until 05 so I got my ass kicked alot) and that made the perfect cocktail of dependence and silence.

My mother would constantly tell me I was being dramatic when I was heavily suicidal, dumb when it turns out i am dyslexic, and a cry baby when I would have anxiety attacks. Of course that all stopped when she got diagnosed for almost everything I have.

This may seem like useless information but I need you to understand why I act the way I am in this situation.

Now I have always been obedient. When her mother died i was in my teens and ended up having to raise my 2 younger siblings while my mom and stepfather were in a different city (will be referred to as L henceforth for privacy )

I ended up doing worse in school (I was already having issues because COULDN'T READ) and having to give up doing karate which was the closest thing to therapy I had. I had gotten a few awards for rising through the ranks quicker than others and my teacher thought I could have been a teacher in a few years time if I had continued the way that I was.

Now note, I never asked for a thank you. I believe that you should do your best to help other when they need it and it is ridiculous to demand thanks for it, but I do expect the base level of respect.

My mother only respects herself and her reputation.

I was working at a famous Canadian coffee shop (the one from the memes, you all know what one) for 2 years and I and everyone else was abused for years at it. I stayed longer than 70% of the people working there. This place was the worst. AC didn't work in the summer and it got to about 45 -50 degrees in there, of course we weren't allowed water breaks.

This place also did not want anyone to ever log their injuries. My friend logged a slip that resulted in her being in a hip brace and they cut her hours from full time to 1 4 hour shift a week for it. It was because of this and my being used to being abused that I didn't log a injury I got while trying to open a stuck fridge door.

I have bad knees so I ended up having them lock up while I tried to yank this door open underneath the deli counter causing my kneecap to pop off and my leg to collapse causing a v shape going outwards with the knee. I can't explain it well, but suffice to say, knees do NOT work that way. This is an injury that causes me pain almost every day of my life now, and because I was bullied into not recording it and it was almost 2 years ago now with everyone who was there having quit, there's nothing legally I can do.

I ended up leaving that place when an older lady who had been written up 7 times and not fired dispute almost attacking customers numerous times, screamed at a customer I was helping causing me to have a panic attack. I went to the back and was having a breakdown when she stormed in, threw the clipboard that holds the schedule at my head and punched a bookshelf beside me. I knew nothing would be done, so I left.

It was freeing for all of 5 minutes. Like a weight off my shoulders. Like when you're in a car crash and when you open your eyes, it was just a fender bender.

And then my mother demanded rent.

I had already paid my rent for the month (it was only about the 5th of April) and she was demanding next months rent "just to be sure"

Of course the next month comes around and she demands more rent, even though I paid in advance and went into debt to do it.

This was the beginning of the end.

My stepfather told her she was being ridiculous and to drop it so I could find work. And she did, for a bit. Now I currently live in K. K is a largish city that's only an hour away from Toronto on the 401 and even with the minimum wage being 14 an hour in Ontario, you still can not afford a 1 bedroom apartment in the ghetto here off 1 persons wages.

On top of that there aren't enough jobs to go around. Every single interview I've gone to has had no less than 5 other people to interview aside from me and that's on the low end.

So I've been jobless since April.

Fast forward a few months and my mother and stepfather break up. She and him had been together for 19 years and she has been cheating on him for 7 moths with her vocal instructor who is also a mutual friend of theirs.

They decide that they want to co-parent as to not disrupt the children's lives. Which would be acceptable if that was the case and not just a cover story so the kids don't worry.

The truth is, my mother sold her share of her company because she (like a whiny child) couldn't get along with her.

I mean admittedly she is a plastic prep who never grew out of it but I digress...

So she sold her part of the company and is taking payments of about 1000 a week for 2 years I think?

Rather than putting this towards the rent, shes been spending money like it's going out of style.

Since then she has bought a grand fucking piano which she's still making payments on, a whole ass horse and is paying for monthly board for her. She eats out nearly every single day and drives across cities numerous times a day in her giant gas guzzling ford truck.

To top it off, she attempted to ride said horse before properly rehabilitating it (it had been neglected and underfed so she was antsy and none of the saddles fit correctly) so it threw her.

Kali, I love you, you beautiful mare you, but you sent my mother to destination fucked, and I don't appreciate it.

She landed on her ankle, shattered it, nearly twisted it off completely and broke the leg bone clean in half. She nearly lost the leg due to infection and 15 months later we are still looking at about 10 more months of recovery if all go's well.

Now just because we live in Canada, doesn't mean this is a cheap endeavor. In fact my step father had to double his workload in the business he owned to make up for it, and the household is still having some issues (I'm not saying we are broke, because the lights are on and everyone is comfortable but we have to live by the dollar at this point.)

So money has been coming up a lot recently and has been another way to demean me and manipulate me and make me feel like trash.

The money is the reason why she want's to co-parent, because otherwise she most likely would not be able to support herself with how shes hemorrhaging money and cant work. (Physically she can, she just would prefer not to and to go out every day and night to party and bang her boyfriend. Did I mention she still hasn't legally divorced my father and still has his last name?

So a week to the day that they made the separation announcement, she gets my stepfather to tell me for her that I have to leave.

Because she wan'ts somewhere to sleep that isn't the couch.

And to "help me out" I could sleep on the couch until I find a place and maybe my family from L can help.

My family who most live off of welfare and minimum wage jobs in the shit end of town.

She didn't tell me when I was to leave, despite me asking her, I assume it was because I can be pretty scary when I am angry and screaming, I'll admit. I learned from my stepfather that I had to be out within the week.

I have to leave, with less than no money because my mother cheated on my stepfather.

Some people wounder what they are worth, money wise. I found out I am worth 500 CAD and some middle aged balding white man dick. How lovely.

So of course I have a total melt down. My friend took me in for a few days because I was on the edge of suicide and still am and couldn't be in the house anymore.

So I've contacted my family in L and am making arrangements to leave and its been a week to the day. Things are slow going as I find someone who can host me on their couch until I get on my feet so I'm on borrowed time.

I got frustrated as since then my mother hasn't said a word to me and has pretended I don't exist so I asked her what the hell she expected from me and how she could act like this.

I got this response. "Just take your shit and go"

OK.

I have a large room, most of the rooms in this house are large so its quite a bit to pack but I've got it more or less.

(Pic here The Packed Room )

In said room I have a lovely wooden bedroom set given to me from my grandmother before she died, as it was in the bedroom I always stayed in when I was at her house. There's a bedside table, bed with a nice head board and a large vanity with a huge mirror.

I never had anything as nice as that before grandmother so I made sure years ago with my stepfather that when I move, its going with me.

On top of that, i have a large old desk that used to be in the office before my stepfather upgraded, a TV which was gifted to me, 8 bookshelves that I saved from being tossed years ago, lovely purple blackout curtains with black flowers on them and a matching lamp and a leather futon couch which is actually quite classy and a PS4,3 and 2. (she occasionally games so I know she's been eyeing those)

I know my mom. I know she wants everything inside of here and will fight tooth and nail for it. But not only is everything in here mine and the accumulation of years, I have my stepfathers permission to take everything, because it is mine.

Take my shit and go? Ok. I will. My friend's grandfather is offering to store my stuff in his empty rooms because he is the kindest old veteran you'll ever meet. I'm taking EVERYTHING.

NOTHING will be left behind.

I hope she enjoys sleeping on the floor because I know for fact we don't have a spare bed.

And as I'm just taking my shit and going, Ill make sure to not tell her about how the very large window super heats the room in the summer at 3 in the afternoon and is almost as cold as the outside is in winter because it was never properly installed. I'll also neglect to tell her where the window leaks when it rains to put down towels so mold dosn't start growing. I'll neglect to tell her about how the wifi doesn't reach up here most of the time so she will have to wonder if her tech is broken.

Unrelated but she REALLY cares about what other people think and that's why I had the thick curtains.

The week is up in a few minutes so I took down MY curtains. Because I'm just taking my stuff and going right?

So I hope out neighbors don't see my chubby while butt undressing to sleep. I used to sleep naked.

I think I'll do that tonight.

TL;DR:

Mom gave the sacred succ to a person she shouldn't have, kicked me out with no warning, so now her one legged ass will be sleeping on the floor of the fancy room she traded me for and will have to answer questions to the whole cul du sac of middle aged upper middle class stuck up moms that she runs the community facebook page for about why her daughter was giving the neighborhood a strip show.

Also she may freeze / sweat to death before she figures out the window is fucked.

Will update once I'm gone about her reaction. Thanks for reading and remember:

Some times you just gatta do what you're told lol.