#I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown in the name of someone I no longer know

[oraclesandomens]

My latest hyper-fixation is “Dial Drunk” by Noah Karan ft. Post Malone.

I’m not very good at long form story-telling but I have a MIGHTY NEED. And it is a might, mighty need.

We’ll see how this goes…

[torturedbitchesdepartment]

and the dial tone is all i have btw. if you even care.

[ahsterism]

they suffer every day and for what... girlish whimsy

[childrenofcain-if]

Ignore this if it'll be too much of a spoiler but can we get a glimpse into the songs D is going to write for MC? I'm already on my 🛐 for this Texan rockstar

don’t tell D i let y’all look into their lyric notebook/demo tapes but:

RISK

god, i’m actually invested haven’t even met them watch this be the wrong thing classic

god, i’m jumping in the deep end it’s more fun to swim in heard the risk is drowning, but i’m gonna take it

i’m gonna bend till i break and you’ll be my favorite mistake i wish you could hold me here, shaking you’re the risk, i’m gonna take it why aren’t you here in my bedroom? hopelessly boring without you too soon to tell you “i love you”

you’re the risk, and i’m gonna take it

MESS IT UP

did i fall out of line when i called you? when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to how could i think that all that i gave you was enough? cause every time i get too close i just go mess it up

i keep thinking maybe if you let me back in we could make it better, breaking every habit pull myself together you could watch it happen let it happen

HATE TO BE LAME

it’s always on the tip of my tongue i read an article on the internet told me that that’s how you know you’re falling in love don’t really trust what’s on the internet but maybe just this once

hate to admit but it might be true hate to admit but i think you knew hate to be lame but i might love you

DIAL DRUNK

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown in the name of someone i no longer know for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone traffic lights and a transmitter radio

i don’t like that when they threw me in the car i gave your name as my emergency phone call honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up i dial drunk, i’ll die a drunk, i’ll die for you

[leascno]

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown

in the name of someone i no longer know

[localcultivator]

Every time I listen to Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan, I keep thinking about how “I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown, in the name of someone I no longer know” would be such a banger fic title.

Totally not planning a cherik fic with that as the title cuz my brain rot is a month strong at this point.

[delioncourtes]

when noah kahan said "if the sun don't rise till the summertime, forgive my northern attitude. oh, i was raised on little light" and when he said "i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad that i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad" and when he said "my house was designed to kinda look like it's crying. the eyes are the windows, the garage is the mouth. so when they mention the sad kid in the sad house on balch street, you won't have to guess who they're speaking about" and when he said "i was taking the wrong meds, feels good to be sad" and when he said "my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it" and when he said "someday i’m gonna be somebody people want" and when he said "no thing so sure that i can't learn to doubt it" and when he said "i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts, keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart. i'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them, but it's a start" and when he said "at the end of the day, i know there are worse ways to stay alive" and when he said "i'm terrified that i might never have met me" and when he said "i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high. spent my savings at a lulu, now i'm suffering in style. why is pain so damn impatient? ain't like it's got a place to be. keeps rushing me" and when he said "if all my life was wasted, i don't mind, i'll watch it go. yeah, it's better to die numb than feel it all" and when he said "i drink till i drown and i smoke till i'm burning" and when he said "collect every dream in these old empty pockets, in hope that i'll need them someday"

and when he said "it's an ode to the hole that i found myself stuck in, a song for the grave that i dug" and when he said "i only tell the truth when i'm sure that i'm lying" and when he said "i would leave if only i could find a reason. i'm mean because i grew up in new england. i got dreams but i can't make myself believe them. spend the rest of my life with what could have been, and i will die in the house that i grew up in. i'm homesick" and when he said "it only falls into place when you're falling to pieces" and when he said "the whole place is quiet. you miss something that you can't place but you can't deny it. don't know whether you want a place in the coast or the country. you can't stay here, it's hard to face and it feels too ugly. you light a fire inside, let it burn" and when he said "with a past box of photos i rip myself open" and when he said "feel the rush of my blood, i'm seventeen again. i am not scared of death, i've got dreams again" and when he said "a minute from home, but i feel so far from it. the death of my dog, the stretch of my skin. it's all washing over me, i'm angry again. the things that i lost here, the people i knew, they got me surrounded for a mile or two" and when he said "my medicine is drowning your perspective out, so i ain't taking any fault" and when he said "i ain't proud of all the punches that i've thrown in the name of someone i no longer know. for the shame of being young, drunk and alone"

and when he said "'son, are you a danger to yourself?' well, fuck that, sir, just let me call. i'll give you my blood alcohol, i'll rot with all the burnouts in the cell. i'll change my faith, i'll kiss the badge. just wait, i swear she'll call me back. 'son, why do you do this to yourself?'" and when he said "i'll turn up the music and i'll forget until it ends that i'm not ready to let go yet" and when he said "i'm in my car and i see the yard, the patch of grass where we buried the dog. and the world makes sense behind a chain-link fence. if i could leave, i would've already left" and when he said "i thought i had something, and that's the same as having something. i get mad at nothing, blame my dad for something. i pull no punches, then feel bad for months. thought i was raised better. tried to fake better, tried to blame weather and escape better. hope the skin heals where the pain enters" and when he said "i saw the end, it looks just like the middle. got a paper and pen and a page with no space. i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication, then forgot how to cry. who am i to complain? and now the pain's different. it still exists, it just escapes different and evades vision. makes the rain different, makes the news boring and my rage distant. yes, i'm young and living dreams, in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen. but i can finally eat and i can fall asleep. it's fine, fine, fine" and when he said "medicate, meditate, swear your soul to jesus. throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason" and when he said "we spent so long just getting by. that's the thing about survival. who the hell, who the hell likes living just to die?"

[milfloverobisanya]

i need to talk about my brainrot associating ted lasso characters with songs… like jamie tartt you are so end of beginning by djo like ,,,, “you take the man out of the city / not the city out the man” shut UPPPPPPP ……. “i feel it / another version of me i was in it” and dial drunk by noah kahan …,,..,, “i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown / in the name of someone i no longer know”….. GRRGSRSRRR SPINS HIM AROJND IN MY BRAIN

+ don’t even get me started on the whole album home video by lucy dacus (i’ll do it myself)

roy kent you are so hot & heavy coded it hurts… “couldn’t look away even if i wanted / tried to walk away but i come back to the start” oh. i am unwell

maybe it’s a stretch but keeley partner in crime ……. “let the record show i walked in on my own”

please stay is SOOOOOO ted + rebecca like i don’t even care if you’re viewing it platonically or otherwise it’s SOOO them

if i talk about jamie and thumbs ill cry thank u goodbye

this album’s parallels for the roykeeleyjamie community are terrifying frankly

also sam obisanya you are so lamplight by bee gees (to me)

colin hughes baby…. you’re not special babe by orla gartland

NO HARD FEELINGS BY WOLF ALICE you’re so isaac & colin it hurts me at my core

let me know if i should go on because i have. so many playlists

[rejected-transboy]

I ain’t proud of all the punches I’ve thrown, in the name of someone I no longer know.

[ashwhowrites]

HI! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REQUESTS TO OPEN!

Can we please get a song fic with "dial drunk" by Noah kahan??? Definitely gotta be a sad ending. I was thinking either Eddie or Steve, but you can pick! Thank you so much!

(I'd give you a kiss, but I've seen SB get jealous over less 🤭)

Jealous SB is one of my favorite versions of SB

Never proofread

I’m rememberin’ I promised to forget you now But it’s rainin’ and I’m callin’ drunk And my medicine is drowning your perspective out So I ain’t taking any fault Am I honest still? Am I half the man I used to be? I doubt it, forget about it, whatever It’s all the same anyways

Breakups were easy for Eddie because he never bothered to fall in love. He'd get into a relationship, hold himself from falling in love, and get over the girl a week after the breakup.

But now he's on month two of his breakup with Y/N and it hasn't gotten easier. She was the first girl that showed him what falling in love felt like. And she showed him how painful falling in love was.

Everything he touched, he ruined, and she was another thing he shattered. He held her heart in his hands and kept it safe for years and years. He took that heart with him to the bar and held it close while he got drunk, feeling the beating of her heart when he kissed someone new. Leaving her heart on the shelf while he felt the inside of another girl, not noticing the damage the heart would take.

Until the morning when he woke up with a girl that wasn't her, the heart burned when he touched it, glazed over with betrayal. He returned the heart to her with guilt in his eyes, and apologies were on his tongue. It wasn't enough. Her heart was in pieces, and she took every piece back.

Eddie promised himself he'd get over her, he vowed to forget about her in weeks, just like every other girl. But the rain was pouring as he drove to the bar, the same bar where he lost half of himself.

I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown In the name of someone I no longer know For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone

Eddie lost count of how many drinks burned down his throat, but he was aware of how many times the guy next to him commented on the picture of Y/N. He took it out to stare at her, slamming the liquor down as he looked at the girl he missed.

His pity party was cut short when he heard the sexual comments the guy next to him had to say.

19....20....21..by the time the guy got to his 22nd comment, Eddie was yanking him off the bar stool. Shoving the man to the ground and trying to heal with every punch he landed.

I don’t like that, when they threw me in the car I gave your name as my emergency phone call Honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’ll die for you

Eddie heard the commotion all around him, but all he could focus on was releasing the anger, sadness, and regret that had built up in him. He heard sirens, and he felt hands grabbing him. His body was being slammed down with his cheek pressed into the sticky floorboards. His hands were yanked behind his back, feeling cold metal on his wrists as they were cuffed together.

He ended up in the backseat of a cop car, one place he vowed to never be in. But here he was, drunk, alone, and arrested. Just like his father.

When he arrived at the station, the cops asked for the number for his emergency call, and he gave her number. Eddie had no one in his life, she was the very last person, and she didn't want to be.

He listened to the call ring and ring. His heart raced the longer it rang; no trace of life on the other line.

The cop looked sadly over at him, a sense of pity in his eyes as Eddie heard the phone die out. He shouldn't be surprised that she didn't answer. This wasn't the first, or even the tenth, time he called her wasted off of his ass. She never picked up, and he hated that he wished for the outcome to be different every time.

I’ll rot with all the burnouts in the cell I’ll change my faith, I’ll kiss the badge Just wait, I swear she’ll call me back Son, why do you do this to yourself?

The cop was getting ready to move him to a cell, but Eddie pleaded just to have another minute. He'd do anything for another minute just to have a gamble to hear her voice again.

He'd rot away with the other burnouts in a cell. He'll change his views, believe in new fates, and discover a new god.

"Please, sir, just wait. I know she'll call back." Eddie pleaded

The cop didn't seem convinced, the pity look taking over his face as he watched Eddie almost in tears.

"Son, why do you do this to yourself?"

"Because I know she will call back."

It was a lie Eddie would continue to tell himself.

Because in the end

I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’d die for you

tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

[f1inl3ey]

Vance ‘I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown in the name of someone I no longer know’ hopper

[babyfoodslapsfr]

“i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown, in the name of someone i no longer know” is so master and doctor coded.

(yes i’m watching the end of season 3 leave me alone)

[remuslupinlovebot]

I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown

In the name of someone I know longer know

this song is literally remus while sirius was in azkaban. prove me wrong.

[ahsterism]

TUMBLR DIDNT SAVE MY YJ TAGS IM GONNA SCREAM!!!

[thewolvesof1998]

I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown

I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown (826, T) 

"I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown

In the name of someone I no longer know

For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone

Traffic lights and a transmitter radio

I don't like that when they threw me in the car

I gave your name as my emergency phone call

Honey, it rang and rang even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up

I dial drunk, I'll die a drunk, I'd die for you"

-Dial Drunk, Noah Kahan

_______________________________________

Eddie rubs at the knuckles on his right hand, pressing into the raw and bruised skin, relishing in the ache. It settles the rage that simmers just below his skin, grounding him in the now, ending the constant replay of why he was sitting in a jail cell. He let out a long groan, leaning his elbows on his knees and pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Stupid. Stupid. So fucking Stupid. What was he going to do? He could lose his job, what if Christopher had seen him do that? What kind of example is he setting for his kid? Fuuuuuckkkkk.

He pushes upright, his left hand rubbing at bruises again, trying to ground himself again.

He almost jumps out of his skin when the door of the cell opens, revealing a uniformed cop. He wonders briefly if he should ask for Athena but dismisses it, whatever Athena knows, Bobby knows and he really doesn’t want this getting back to his captain. He's already screwed up enough already for one day, hell a year even.

“Diaz, time for your phone call,” The cop says

Eddie nods, stands on solid legs that want to shake, spine straight, chin up, just like they taught him. He follows the cop to a phone that wouldn’t have looked out of place in his childhood home. He lets out a breath before stepping up to it, receiver to his ear, pressing the first few numbers, finger hovering over the next, twitching to punch in the rest of the number that is burned into his brain. One that he doesn’t think he will ever forget, even with how unnecessary it is nowadays to memorise a number.

His heart drops, and his jaw aches from how hard he’s grinding his teeth. Rage, like a broken window to an oxygen-deprived room that’s already in flames, explodes within him and almost takes him out. He resists the urge to slam the phone’s receiver into the wall until it's just fragments of plastic that dig into the palm of his hand, drawing blood. He breathes through his nose and then out of his mouth and repeats that until he gets himself under control.

He had been about to call Buck. His body had betrayed him, had automatically started to dial his best friend, who he can’t even talk to because of the stupid fucking lawsuit.

Eddie closes his eyes, seeing what could have happened if he hadn’t stopped himself. The phone rings and rings and in his own anger he could almost picture Buck sending it to voice mail but he knows, he knows that Buck would always pick up.

Lawsuit or not. Buck would always pick up for Eddie.

He could almost hear Buck’s voice, the uncertain whisper of his name, a little breathless in surprise and nerves...

“Go for Buck,” Buck says in his usual cheery voice, of course, he wouldn’t recognise this number.

Eddie tries to swallow around the lump in his throat, but it doesn’t work, “Buck,” he says his voice rough and filled with too many unsaid emotions.

"Eddie? Is Chris-“ The cheerfulness was replaced with surprise and then anxious concern. Of course, Buck would think Eddie was calling because of Chris, that Chris would have to be hurt or in trouble before Eddie would reach out to his best friend. How did they get to this point?

“He’s fine, I- uh”

“Eddie, what is it?”

"I need you…” Shit, that’s not what he had meant to say, he clears his throat, “Can you post bail for me?”

"Eddie,” he says concern dripping from his voice, Eddie can almost picture the crease between his brows. Eddie’s fingers flex with the urge to smooth it away, not that he had ever allowed himself to do that even before everything.

“Please Buck” He begs, he knows they haven’t talked in so long but he needs-he needs Buck.

“Of course Eddie, anything for-”

A throat clears itself next to Eddie, he opens his eyes and realises he has just been standing there with his eyes closed for who knows how long. He can feel the flush of his cheeks as he puts down the receiver and picks it back up, dials a number he hopes he gets right. It rings and rings…

“Hello”

“Bosko, I- uh- It's Eddie, I'm at the police station downtown could you come and-uh-bail me out of jail?”

Read on ao3

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

new pfp or am i going fucking crazy either way i love it

also.

lark oak

yes!! redrew my beloved erin heehee also thank you!!

also. fully meant to respond sooner but i forgor😭😭 anyway listening now and im going to start the new year by throwing hammers at you WHAT THE FUCK!!! WEEPING????

“i ain’t proud of all the punches i’ve thrown in the name of someone i no longer know” MY FUCKING HEART????? owie