#I actually thought it was fake lmao until I checked earlier

[iishmael]

i dont go there but since Elon changed Twitter to X does that mean it’s not tweeting anymore, it’s x-ing? your fav tweet is now your fav x? Linguistically and culturally this is the most stupid and fascinating rebrand I’ve ever seen

[imjusttryingtolivemylife1]

Michael: Depressed

TRIGGER WARNING

This story mentions suicide, and depression. Read at your own risk.

_____________________________________________________________

Michael’s life was going great. Touring with his band was the best feeling ever, considering how far they had come. His bandmates were his best friends, and he had a wonderful girlfriend,  who didn't just use him for his money. 

He was happy all the time. He loved his bandmates, and his girlfriend more than anything else in the world. He loved his fans, and twitch streaming was his favourite hobby.

His life was perfect. He couldn’t ask for anything better. 

Until that night. 

It was January 19th, 2019. (this date is just made up :))

Him and Abigail were going to dinner. He had been planning their date for weeks, and couldn't be more excited. He checked himself, and fixed himself in the mirror. He looked at the ring once more, and tucked it into his inside pocket.

It was the night he had been waiting for forever. He hoped she would say yes, and he was sure she would. They loved each other more than anything. But the nerves were still there.  

His phone buzzed, and a message from her appeared on the screen.

‘Hey Mikey, can we reschedule? Im not feeling well :(‘

He read the text a couple times before responding. Yes he was excited, but to him, she mattered more than anything to him. I guess the proposal would have to wait. 

‘Of course baby. Do you need anything?’

‘Im okay, thanks’ 

And with that, his amazing date-to-be was canceled. He had to wait a little while longer to claim his soon-to-be fiance. He had everything planned out. 

He sighed, and called the restaurant to cancel the plans. He was a little disappointed, but he'd be fine. He decided to stream for a little while to get his mind off things. 

He was only live for a few short minutes when the comments started coming in.

“Ew ,why does he look like that?” someone said

“Looks like someones been eating too much XD” 

“Bruh, go get a tan lmao”

He shut off the stream. He decided to go see what everyone else was up to. He walked into the living room of the boys' shared flat. The boys were all playing FIFA. 

“Oooooo Hey Mikey!” Luke exclaimed. 

“Hey guys.” Michael sat on the couch beside Ashton

“Are you ready for your date tonight? To Propose! Wait, that's tonight right?” Ashton questioned, confusing himself

“It was, but not anymore. Abigail canceled. I guess she's not feeling well enough to go” Michael sighed.

“Oh really? I'm so sorry.” Ashton replied. 

“You guys wanna go to- I don't know, somewhere?” Ashton added, seeing Michaels sad expressions.

“Oooo We should go to the steakhouse! I love steak!” Luke practically yelled.

“Okay. Michael, is that okay” Ashton wanted to make sure he wanted to first. It's no fun trying to have fun with someone who doesn't want to have fun.

“Yeah. That sounds great actually” Michael smiled. This night was going to be great after all. 

“Okay we’ll leave in 20” Ashton said, leaving the room to shower. 

____________________________________________________________________________

They all loaded into Michael's car, and headed to the steakhouse. It wasn't a far drive , and shouldnt take them that long.

When they arrived, they had to wait for about 10 minutes. It was a popular place, and was really busy. He was still a little disappointed remembering the ring, but he was excited to have fun with his best friends.

They walked in, and the waiter sat them in a booth, Michael sat by Luke, and Calum by Ashton. The waiter asked them what they wanted to drink. 

Luke ordered a Coke.

Ashton ordered a Tea

Calum ordered a Tea

Michael ordered a water, remembering the twitch comments from earlier. 

“I thought you thought water was gross?” Ashton questioned. 

“Eh, I don’t drink enough” Michael replied, adding a fake half laugh for effect. 

The waiter came back with the drinks, and got their orders. 

They all ordered Steak, except Luke who ordered chicken tenders.

“You're such a child” Michael laughed

They started talking about upcoming shows and touring. They created a set list, and opening songs. By the time they had finished, Michael was more insecure than before. And it wasn't anyone's fault.

Was he really good at singing? Or did everyone feel bad for him?

Does he actually belong in the band?

‘I bet their looking to replace me’ Michael told himself.

He felt useless all the sudden.

Did his best friends hate him?

He was pathetic. Fucking pathetic. 

The waiter came back with their food. Everyone started eating, except michael. Who just sat there, staring at his steak. 

Nobody mentioned it though. They knew he was upset, and they didn't want to upset him anymore. He sat there and picked at his food, taking a bite every so often.

“Who’s up for ice cream? I could use a banana milkshake!” Ashton laughed.

“What kind of question is that? I love ice cream!” Luke chimed in

“Of course you would. You're literally a 5 year old.” Calum laughed

“Am not”

“Are too”

“Am not”

“Oh my god. You're both children, grow up’ Ashton interrupted, followed by all three of the boys laughing. 

The waiter brought the check. Ashton paid, and they all left. 

They drove to get ice cream, about 15 minutes away from where they were. The whole ride was all the boys, including Michael who cheered up a bit at this point, blasting sgfg and singing along. There was some dancing, except from Michael, who was busy driving. 

Once they had arrived at the ice cream place, they all went inside to order. Ashton of course ordered a Banana Milkshake, and Luke got Cookies and Cream. Calum got Mint Chocolate Chip, and Michael got Chocolate Ice Cream.  

Then it happened. 

They were walking out of the store, which was crowded by the way, and then he saw her. 

Who was she with?

“Abi-” He started, when the guy leaned down and kissed her.

His heart shattered.

“Michael? What's wron-” Ash stoped mid sentence. He saw it. 

“Come on.” He grabbed Michaels arm and brought him twarts the car. 

They got in the car. Ashton decided to drive, and convinced Michael to sit in the back with Calum. 

As soon as they got in the car, Michael burst into tears. 

The love of his life- His whole life, just betrayed him. 

He couldn't believe it. He cried. He couldn't talk. He couldn't breathe. He just cried. 

It was a silent ride home. The only sound made was Michael's brief sniffles and sobs in the background.

They got home, and Michael just went to his room. He laid there. He just laid there. For hours, and cried.

Then he had to go to the bathroom. He was too sad, so he just held it. 

How could he not have seen this coming? 

He thought she loved him.

Because he loved her. And so he thought she loved him.

He cried off and on for a few hours. He tried not to think about her, he really did, but every single second, all he saw was her kissing him. 

He continued to try to think of ways to make himself feel better. All the advice he’d ever given, or had been given. Then he remembered.

Ashton told him once that when he was younger, he would cut his arms with a razor. It helped him feel better. 

Maybe he could do that.

Or maybe he shouldn't.

But maybe he could try.

He looked at the posters above his head. Almost all of them had pictures of the band. He took one of the pins out of the corner, letting the poster fall slightly. 

He stared at it for a minute, not knowing if what he was doing was right. Maybe it would help. 

He pressed the tip of the pin against the bottom of his wrist. He pushed it in slightly, feeling the pain of the tip stabbing him. He slowly pulled across his wrist, wincing in pain. He continued to drag it over the entirety of his wrist. He slowly made a few more going up his arm. Then he stopped. 

He looked at wrist. What had he just done. He had purposely hurt himself.

Maybe he should tell someone.

Or maybe he shouldn't. 

He stared at the blood dripping down his wrists. He didn’t cry anymore. He couldn’t.

He checked the time on his phone. It was 3:27 am.

Well. It's been around 6 hours, and nobody bothered to check on him. 

He sighed. He needed to go to the bathroom. After about 10 minutes of trying to get the energy, he shakily stood up and walked to the bathroom. He flipped on the lights and looked at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look good. He went to the bathroom, washed his hands, and walked back to his room. He climbed back into his bed and stared at the ceiling. He soon fell asleep.

____________________________________________________________________________

He awoke a few hours later. Or that's what he thought, before he checked the time. He flipped his phone on, and the numbers read 4:30 pm.

“Jesus” he said out loud. 

After laying there for a few minutes, He got up and went to the bathroom. Getting up was a little easier this time. 

He then walked out to the living room. The boys were sitting in the living room playing FIFA.

Michael felt left out. He knew why they didn’t bother him, and quite honestly, he was glad they didn’t. He wanted to be alone anyway. Then he remembered.

His wrists. He looked down to make sure they were still covered, which they were. He sighed and walked into the living room. The three boys turned to look at him, all at once.

“The zombie has risen!” Ashton exclaimed, earning a slap by Calum.

“Be nice” Calum playfully scolded. 

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Wanna play?”

“No thanks. I just came to get some water.” 

“Okay.. If you need anything, let us know” He frowned

“Yep” and with that, he grabbed a water bottle and went back to his room. 

He sat on his bed. He couldn't do this, his chest hurt. He felt horrible. 

He felt unloved.

He felt his world come crashing down. His girlfriend never gave a shit about him. Why was he even in this fucking band. He didn’t deserve what he has. The fans, the friends. 

Or maybe he didn't have any. Maybe his friends just felt bad for him. The fans probably didn't like him either. Why would they? He was just some lazy fuck up whose life doesn’t matter to anyone. 

He let out a choked sob as he felt the tears on his cheeks. He didn’t even realise he’d been crying. He laid down and buried his face into his pillow. 

________________________________________________________________________

He didn’t remember it, but he must have fallen asleep while crying, because when he woke up, his face was buried in his wet, tear-soaked pillow.

He rolled up his sleeves. His cuts had scabbed over. He needed more. It felt so good last time. 

He took the pin from his bedside table. He rolled down his other sleeve and pressed the pin into his skin. He made three. He had five going down one arm, and three going down the other. 

He just stared at them. He wanted to cry, but he knew he needed to stop with the tears. They were childish, and he was pathetic. 

He hadn’t eaten in two days. His stomach started to hurt a little. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wasn’t needed anymore. He stood, went to his desk, and sat down. He pulled out a piece of paper, and a pen. He started to write letters to everyone.

One was addressed to friends.

One to his family, with separate ones to his mum and dad. 

One to his best friends, his band mates. 

And one to his fans.

There wasn't enough space to write everything he needed to. There shouldn’t have been an end to the note. There was still so much he had to say. 

Now he was ready. He just needed a way to do it.

He walked out to the living room. It was 11, so he thought everyone would still be awake, which they were. Well, Luke and Calum were. 

“Guys? Where's Ashton?” He wanted to say a goodbye to them in person, and he knew that Ashton had a variety of different pills. He knew you could overdose on ibuprofen, which he knew Ashton had. 

“He went to the store. He said he didn't feel well and went to get some cough drops. WHatcha need? Luke questioned, eyes glued to the tv.

“Nothing. Nevermind” He turned to walk back to the room, when the door opened and Ashton walked in.

“Nevermind, there he is” Luke grinned

“Yeah i'm here, You okay Mikey?” Ashton sympathetically questioned.

“Yeah, I just um” He started. 

Was this something he should really do? 

“I was wondering if you had any ibuprofen. I've got a bit of a headache” he finished.

He needed to, He was too prepared to go back now. 

“Yeah, there's some in my bathroom cabinet” He began to walk back to the living room “Oh and you should probably eat something, that could help.” He smiled before sitting down with the other two boys.

“Okay thanks” He already started walking back to his room. He stopped and turned around.

 “I love you guys.” He said with tears in his eyes. 

“We love you too, is everything okay?” Ashton said, getting immediately alert.

“Yeah, I just wanted you to know that.” And with that he walked back to his room.

He walked to the cabinet. He took two handfuls of the small white pills, and walked back to his room. 

He sat there for about an hour, thinking about whether this is what he wanted to do or not, but his mind was already made up.

He took the water on his table, and took the pills. 

One by one. He texted his mum and dad and told them he loved him. He waited for a few minutes. 

Then he got scared. He didn’t want to say goodbye. He wasn’t ready yet. He began to cry. He decided to call someone who wouldn't be mad at him

He picked up his phone and tapped on Liam’s contact. 

“Michael? It's 1:30 in the morning. Are you okay?’ He heard a yawn from the other end and he immediately felt guilty. 

“Nothing. Sorry. I'm okay.” And he went to hang up

“No no don’t hang up. What's wrong? You sound upset.” 

“I just-” He choked on a sob. He couldn’t breathe. 

“I t-took too many pills liam. Im scared. Help me please.” He choked out. He was full on bawling now. 

“You took pills micael? What kind? Michael answered me!” Liam practically screamed into the phone.

“Ibuprofen” He choked out.

“Shit. Listen buddy. I need you to go wake up Ashton. Im five minutes away”

“But i don’t want t-” 

“Michael please.”

“Okay.” 

“Ill be there in five minutes. You don't even have to explain. I will when I get there. Just wake him up and tell him I said to get dressed.” Liam tried to calm him. 

“Okay” And he hung up.

He shakily walked to Ashtons room. He didn't even get to the bed when Ashton shot up. 

“Mikey? Whats wrong?” he frantically stood up. 

“I- Liam said-” He started.

“Liams said what? Ill beat the shit outta him” Ashton said angrily\

“No Liam said to get dressed” He finished.

“Okay..?’ Ashton threw on some clothes as Liam walked through the door. He had Louis with him.

“Louis with Ashton. Michael, lets go” 

“Where are we-” Ashton started

“Louis will explain on the way. Now let's go” Liam instructed. 

Ashton looked really confused, and really scared.

“You wanna explain what's going on yet?” He questioned

“Michael took a bunch of pills. He wanted to kill himself. Then he got scared and he called Liam for help. Liam called poison control, and told him to take  him to the hospital because it could kill him.”

Ashton froze. 

“Come on” They walked out the door.

____________________________________________________________________________\

“Damn it Michael, how many did you take?!?” He yelled, frustrated

“I don’t know, okay? It's not like I counted them!” He shouted back

Liam sighed in frustration. 

“Look, when we get there, they’re gonna ask. And they’re probably going to want to admit you for observation. Don’t act aggressive or anything. I'm gonna try to get them to let you come home. We can tell them that you'll stay with me. Don’t be scared, just go along with it, alright?” Liam explained, a little more sympathetically

“Two handfuls”

“What?”

“Two handfuls. I took two handfuls.” 

“Really? Fucking christ Michael.” 

They sat in silence for the next few minutes. Though the minutes felt like hours. He hates himself right now. If he wasn’t so pathetic, he would still probably be in bed, or even better, maybe dead.

“Why’d you do it? We love you. We could have helped you.” Liam sighed. He had an upset sounding tone to his voice.

“I don’t want help, Liam. I just want it to stop.” He choked

“I just want the pain to go away.”

The rest of the ride was silent. Nobody said anything.

____________________________________________________________________________

“You okay?”

 They had been driving, and Ashton hadn’t said a word. Louis was getting a little concerned. 

“It's my fault.” Ashton finally said.

“What do you mean? This has nothing to do with you.” Louis questioned.

“I shouldn’t have suggested dinner.”

“He would've found out anyway.”

Ashton sighed. 

“I told him”

“Told him what?’

“About me. What I-”

The realization suddenly hit him.

“Do you think he- His arms- I told him it helped. Fuck, this is my fault.” Ashton started crying. 

“No this isn’t your fault. You can’t control his decisions. It'll be okay, We can get him help, okay?”

“Yeah”

Ashton silently cried the rest of the way there. What had he done?

____________________________________________________________________________

They pulled in the Accidents and Emergency entrance. They walked inside, Michael was shaking. They walked up to the desk.

“Hello ma’am. I called about 30 minutes ago about the-” Liam Started

“Yes sir, right this way. We have a room ready for him.” The nurse motioned for them to follow. 

She took them to their room, and let them get situated. Liam texted Louis, and told him and ashton to get ahold of the other boys to let them know what was going on, and hopefully keep this all off the news,

A doctor came in to get Michaels weight, height, and blood pressure. They then did some bloodwork to check his drug levels, to see what the medicine was doing.

They were happy to inform the boy that they had caught the ibuprofen early enough to stop it before it could do any harm.

They had him drink an orange drink to help with his potassium levels, then sent in a physiatrist. 

“You want me to leave?” Liam questioned. He wanted Michael to feel comfortable.

“No. Please stay. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Okay, you sure?”

“Yeah.”

The physiatrist walked in, and began trying to talk to him.

“So what made you take these pills, Michael?”

“I don’t know”

“Okay.. How many did you take?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alrigty then. Are there any events that have happened recently that would make you want to harm yourself?”

“I don’t know.”

The doctor sighed. 

“Michael, I hate to tell you, but taking the pills doesn’t make you forget. If you don’t start talking soon, we’ll have to admit you for close observation.” 

Michael sighed.

“I'll give you the basics of what happened. I was supposed to propose to my girlfriend, and she canceled. I went out with my friends, best friends, to cheer myself up. I saw her kissing someone else. Then some people called me f-fat and w-worthless and I can’t handle it anymore” He choked out

“I see.” The doctor wrote some things on his notepad. 

“I’ll leave you be for a little bit.” Then he walked out.

As soon as he left, Michael started bawling. 

Liam walked over and hugged him. Louis walked in, and Ashton followed with red eyes. 

Liam moved out of the way, to make room for ashton. Ashton and Michael looked at eachother, then Ashton walked over and gave him a hug. 

Nobody said anything. 

About 3 hours later, a doctor came in and released them. They had tried to keep Michael for a day or two of observation, but Liam not-so-politely declined. 

It was now 5 in the morning. 

Liam filled out the papers for the dismissal, then they left. It was an awkward silence, with nobody really ready to talk about it. 

Everyone in the band had been informed of the situation and was told not to say anything about it. 

The all climbed into Liam’s car. Harry had to come get Louis’ for something earlier, and began the drive home.

Michael was stuck in his own thoughts. What if their fans found out what he had done? What if they would think of him as weak? What would they think of him?

They pulled into the driveway. 

Ashton and Michael climbed out of the car. Michael went inside while Ashton talked to Louis and Liam for a few minutes. 

He went inside and climbed into his bed,

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Michael didn’t say anything. It was Ashton. He walked in the room, and stood in the doorway.

“It’ll be alright. I don’t want to say I know what you’re going through, because I don’t, but It’ll be okay.”

They stood in silence for a few minutes.

“We’ll get through this. Together.” He shot him a slight smile, and left him to get some sleep.

[yoichichi]

To Call You Mine

college!tsuki x reader series

Ch. 3 - not a buddy, just a tutor

warning(s): toxic relationship behavior, toxic mindset, loneliness ☹️, kind of some Angst 😶

a/n: hehehehe I loved the way some of y’all were reacting about the boyfriend part LMAO , I hope you enjoy this ch!! And you know I love love love hearing from you guys :)

Ch. 1 Ch. 2

“Tomorrow, we’ll be sure to review…”

You couldn’t focus on what your professor said as you left the classroom, thumbs moving at the speed of light as you texted Tsukishima back urgently.

Wednesday 12:02 pm

- ‘Omg, I seriously owe you sm. Class wasn’t perfect but it kind of made SENSE! Ty fr :)’

You probably looked like an idiot smiling so big down at your phone but you couldn’t fathom how relieved you felt versus the usual existential dread that hung over you nearly every other day after Calc.

You turn your ringer back on as you shove your phone into your pocket, remnants of a small smile resting on your face. Still reeling from your accomplished high, you figured some celebratory coffee would-

ding

You think the speed at which you snatched your phone back out, almost fumbling it in the process, was more embarrassing than how you were smiling earlier. It just felt nice to hear some validation from Tsuki, you haven’t known him long - at all - but it didn’t feel like a regular occurrence with him. And it kind of made you feel special if you were being honest.

Kai💗😩🥳

- ‘Still down to hang?’

Your cheeks began to hurt with how often you were smiling today. Not who you were expecting, but it made you pleased nonetheless to see your boyfriends contact pop up onto your screen. You clicked on the message and unlocked your phone, typing your response chalk full of cheesy emojis.

ding

ding

ding

ding

The notifications momentarily pause your movements as you read the banners quickly and quietly to yourself.

Tsukishima :)

- ‘sounds like you still need a tutor 🙄’

- ‘and np’

- ‘if you need to go over today’s lesson before Sunday just text me and we’ll figure something out.’

- ‘but we’re still on for Sunday so no there’s no getting out of that.’

You made a mental note to finish your text to Kai in a moment, swiping to get to Tsuki’s messages.

- ‘that eager to see me again? Aren’t you sweet 😌 I’m getting coffee as a gift for myself, if you’re not busy ig I could get you one too as a thanks 🙄’

You clicked your phone off once more, ignoring the string of sounds coming from your back pocket, instead choosing to focus on the walk there and mentally check your schedule to see when you were free. Maybe you’d take him up on his offer.

The walk was short enough to not have to worry about warming back up when you got inside, which really meant you could have an iced coffee without the consequences of a cold drink during the chilly autumn weather.

Walking up to wait in line, you debated between choosing your regular order or trying something new. Your eyes bore into the menu with an intensity comparable to someone like Kai on the court. You giggled quietly to yourself at such a clever thought before going back to deciding what you wanted before it was your turn to order.

“Hmm, blatantly ignoring me and giggling to yourself about it? You certainly are in a mood, aren’t you?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of a familiar cocky voice behind you, warmth emitting from his chest that almost had you backing into it.

You huffed and turned your head over your shoulder to see Tsuki, the man of the hour, looming over you with that shit eating grin.

“You think you’re cute sneaking up on me like that?” You squinted your eyes and reached out to lightly smack his, surprisingly quite firm, chest.

“Adorable, actually.” His smile got even wider when you rolled your eyes and tried not to smile yourself, turning your attention back to the menu.

“You know, if you would’ve answered my texts you would’ve had a coffee waiting for you already.” Tsuki commented and sighed, feigning annoyance with you as he watched you glance between him and your phone, now in your hand, in confusion.

Tsukishima :)

- ‘not eager to see you, eager to tutor you more so I get to see you less ❤️’

- ‘and now you’re offering to buy me a drink? Who really wants to see who’

- ‘I’m already here anyway, just text me what you want.’

- ‘you’re offer expires in about 39 seconds.’

- ‘😐’

- ‘sucks for you ig.’

You chuckle and put your phone away, cooing playfully about how sweet he is as you watch his arrogant smile slowly fade away from his face. It wasn’t until you gained the attention of a couple people around you that he had enough, muttering about how annoying you are and how he can’t wait to get rid of you as he nudges you up to the cashier.

Placing your order, you step to the side and wait - and apparently Tsukishima was going to be waiting with you.

“So, you said you felt more comfortable in class?”

His face was more serious now as he asked you the question, no playful smiles or a snarky demeanor. You could tell he was just waiting for a genuine answer.

His eyebrows rested softly on his face as you spoke. They sat not too far above his eyes that were slightly wider than normal, occasionally raising in response to the lilts in your voice. His lips were only slightly parted, resting in a fine line. He looked, contemplative.

“Oh, hey babe!”

A familiar booming voice cuts you off mid rant, your face and body twisting into it’s direction.

“I thought you were maybe talking to your calc professor or somethin’ since you didn’t answer my text right away like you usually do.” Kai, your boyfriend, was right next to you now. His long, strong arm pulling you into his side to keep you there, pressing a kiss to the side of your head in the process.

He turned his attention to Tsukishima now, eyeing him up and down before offering him his own signature grin: all toothy, bright, and fake.

“I’m Kai, her boyfriend, nice to meet you.”

You internally screamed at the way he had to emphasize the fact that he was your boyfriend, and then internally screamed even louder at the way Tsukishima chuckled - no scoffed - at what Kai said.

Not every person to ever be in your presence was a threat to the security of your relationship.

You hated how over protective he could be sometimes, even if he means well. Deciding now wasn’t the time to mull over your recent relationship troubles, you gave Tsuki an “I’m sorry he can be like that sometimes” glance.

Squeezing quickly onto Kai’s arm, you took your turn to speak before either of them could.

“This is Tsukishima, my frien-“

“What’s so funny?” Kai had that smile still, but tilted his head just enough to show he wasn’t really smiling.

“I’m Tsukishima Kei, her tutor, nice to meet you. I just think it’s funny our names are so similar, that’s all.”

Tsuki’s smirk screamed “I’m a liar and that’s most definitely not what I’m laughing about”, and his eyes gleamed with playfulness, toying with the limits of your boyfriends patience.

Kai was a well built man. 6’2”, not too lean but not too big, and a wide frame. And when you pair that with his resting face and his usual, presence, he likes to carry, he’s not always the most approachable person. And he certainly doesn’t make it easy when he’s actively trying to be intimidating, or whatever it is he does. But thankfully Tsukishima’s either too stupid to notice or simply doesn’t care; either way you appreciate the consistency in his attitude.

What you didn’t appreciate was being cut off.

“Like I was trying to say, Tsukishima’s a friend. M-“

“Oh, so we’re friends now? I wouldn’t say a single tutoring session makes us friends.” Tsuki’s silly little smirk was short lived as he met your eyes.

You really didn’t appreciate being cut off. Twice. And maybe you didn’t appreciate this little attitude of his.

“Oh? Well I didn’t know acquaintances offered to buy the other coffee.” Your eyes bore into his with a harsh stare, making the tips of his ears start to turn red before he did his best to make up for himself.

“They do when they’re trying to get to know them better. I mean, if that’s allowed?” The expectant glare Tsukishima gave Kai made your blood run cold.

Such an asshole.

You clenched your jaw and huffed, but before you or Kai could get to speak, Tsuki beat you both to it.

“Just text me and we’ll figure something out, see you Sunday if not sooner.”

And with that he was gone, snatching his bag up and shoving his belongings into it carelessly before pushing through the door.

The gust of wind that blew through was appropriately cold for the situation.

“Order for (y/n)!”

—

“How am I the dick here?” Kai’s voice bounced off the walls in your cramped dorm, his harsh tone echoing from all corners of the space.

Thankfully, most people were probably out in a class or eating lunch at this time like Bonnie was.

“Why do you have to make everything a pissing contest between you and any man in my general vicinity? I don’t know Kai, maybe I’d like to fucking have another friend besides Bo-“

“Oh don’t guilt trip m-“

Interrupted, again.

“Quit doing that! Quit cutting me off just let me speak!”

You felt your voice crack from the extensive length the two of you have been going at it, just trying to get a word out. The tension was high in the room as you calmed yourself down and caught your breath, doing your best to swallow the growing lump in your throat.

“Just,”, you groaned and covered your face with your hands for a brief moment before continuing,

“We’re supposed to be working on our trust, Kai.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke up softly.

“Babe, it’s not you that I don’t trust.”

You sighed deeply as you felt the hot tears that had been waiting to spill run down your cheeks.

“Kai. That’s bullshit. It doesn’t matter that you don’t trust other people or whatever the hell you’re saying, cause I’m the one being affected by your feelings and actions. I’m the one who might lose a possible friend because you’re insecure.”

That must’ve been his last straw. Because instead of another sharp response, it was silent. The sound of the door clicking open making noise rather than him himself.

It caught your attention as you looked up to watch Kai begin to leave just barely hearing him say,

“I’ll talk to you later.”

The silence that filled the space after he left was suffocating. You wanted to scream, cry, and go to bed all at once. And the latter didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

You rolled onto your bed and clutched onto your blanket tight, not wanting to let your feelings fester and think about how angry you were right now. But you couldn’t stop yourself when your chest grew heavy as you began to sob, you hated how often he’d just avoid an issue. But right now, that’s exactly what you felt like doing, too.

Sitting up, you changed and crawled under the covers, deciding a nap was the only way you were gonna be able to give yourself a break right now. And you were completely right.

Not before changing his contact to just, “Kai”, of course.

He doesn’t deserve the emojis right now.

—

It was dark and your skin was clammy when you woke up, your head pounding. You were in desperate need of a drink of water. Sitting up slowly, rubbing your face in a desperate attempt to smooth away your grogginess, you hopped off your bed towards your desk.

Why does being with him have to be so draining?

You’ve never felt like your relationship was perfect or easy, but you’ve also never felt like it wasn’t worth it. How often does someone stay with their high school sweetheart - albeit off and on - until their second year in college? And besides, you were both trying to make it easy for each other at the least.

Making friends was easy for you, it was keeping them that was hard. Remembering to set aside time to make plans, or even remember to make them in the first place. Or even doing something simple like shooting them a text, whether it was your nerves or not you’ve always just told yourself you’re too busy and too focused to spend time creating a bunch of lasting friendships.

But Kai? Kai’s always stuck around, no matter how many times he’s reminded you how often you’ve made things difficult for the two of you. Even when he’s left he’s come back, willing to listen and figure it all out. He’s always been your one and only. But that’s also the problem;

He’s always been your one and only.

Recently it’s felt like no matter what you do, he’s the reason you can’t keep a friend.

Why need a friend when you have Kai, he’s basically your friend, too, right? They want too much of your time, they’re too touchy, they’re too pushy, shouldn’t you be studying? Shouldn’t you be hanging out with him?

You plopped down into your desk chair and placed your head in your hands, your thoughts beginning to overwhelm you again.

ding

Peeking an eye over to your phone, still sitting on your nightstand from where you left it earlier, you reluctantly made your way over to see who was bothering you.

Bon Bon 🥐💗

- ‘Ahhhhh! Sorry I’m not back yet (even though I don’t think you and Kai will mind lolol) I’m just gonna stay at my friends house for the night so don’t worry bout me! Just a late night study sesh gone too long is all :) love ya girlie!’

A sudden wave of loneliness washed over you as you tried not to cry again, you were getting annoyed at how many times you felt like crying tonight.

You stared at her message for a few more moments before finally sending your reply.

- ‘you’re good :) we’re having a late night movie sesh so I’m gonna get back to that! ily 2 see u tmrw ❤️’

You don’t know why you felt like you had to lie, maybe you just didn’t want to have to explain it all right now, or worry her.

You noticed you had a few more messages waiting to be read, too. Although none were from Kai.

Tsukishima :)

4:32 pm

- ‘sorry if I came off weird earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or upset, I just didn’t like how Kai was acting.’

5:01 pm

- ‘by how Kai was acting I mean he just acted like he had a problem with me when we’ve never even met before. I know I antagonized him too though so to be more specific I’m sorry about that.’

- ‘I’m also sorry if I caused friction between you two, let me know if you’re still comfortable with me tutoring you or if you’d rather me find you someone else. I know some pretty nice ones.’

- ‘just to clarify though I personally don’t have a problem continuing to tutor. Don’t want you to think you did anything to upset me.’

You sniffled and glanced up to the small digits in the upper left hand corner of your screen.

11:56 pm

Jesus.

You stared at his texts for a while, unsure of what to say but also relieved at the fact he texted you. Seems like you were worried about Kai spoiling this budding friendship for you more than you thought.

Thursday 12:03 am

- ‘ty for the apology I really appreciate that. It was kind of awkward but Kai also really played into the whole situation so I’m sorry for how he acted too. I’m very okay with you being my tutor still but ty for asking’

- ‘I’m actually free to even study now lol’

- ‘you do still owe me that coffee’

You felt the tiniest of weights lift off your shoulders as you sent your messages. It felt nice knowing-

ding

..

There’s no way he should be up this late. Doesn’t he have crazy early workouts for volleyball or something?

Tsukishima :)

- ‘ofc. I’m actually at the library now if you want to join me :) same spot as last time’

The fact he replied so quickly was surprising, and his seemingly equal eagerness to see you surprised you even more. But, in a pleasantly surprised kind of way.

You smiled down at your phone, sitting up and slipping your slides on at a lethal pace. It felt good to smile a little bit.

And really, it’s not like you had anything better to do. Plus, being alone right now doesn’t exactly sound like too much fun.

You texted him a quick, “omw!”, before slipping out of your dorm.

You could guess Tsukishima is just as lonely as you are with how quick he seemed to invite you to a study session.

Hmph. Acquaintances my ass.

—————————

Any thoughts on Kai? On y/n and their relationship? ?Any thoughts at all??? Send em my way :)

taglist for series: @plutowrites @c0rncheez @ruetaro @toyas-wife @devilkou @anime-and-kpop-trash @haley-talks-too-much @jiungsfav @sergeant102105 (if you’d like to be added or removed let me know!)

[sachirou-senpai]

Kageyama, Yaku, Kenma and Hinata as sugar daddies.

request: ELLIE YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WITH PUTTING THIS IN MY HEAD AND LEAVING ME LIKE THIS AHSHSUSVSHS,,,, can I request some headcannons for Kageyama, Yaku and Kenma as sugar daddies? Or Hinata!!! Even though he's a sugar baby already shsghsbas ;;; Or you can choose whichever you like best between them??? I will be happy with every crumb I can get 🙏

warnings: mentions of s*x and sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships, hoshuimi is a nosy bitch, yaku has the confidence of a god (must be a leo thing) kenma is so cute ahhh, Hinata just wants someone to love and call mommy, i really love this. implied fem!reader for hinata, although i guess you could call a gn person or a male reader mommy. whatever floats your boat.

a/n: this was very fun. ;)

Kageyama:

what the fuck

how did he even get a sugar baby?

great question

it happened because he had a fuckton of money and had no idea what to do with it

and hoshuimi, of course

cause hoshiumi's a nosy lil bitch

saw kageyama checking his bank account app on his phone and was like

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY

it's cause he never spends it

hoshuimi offhandedly tells him he should get a sugar baby

later that night kageyama googles what a sugar baby is

he's shook

doesn't think about it for months

until he gets this ad for a "meet sugar babies" website on a volleyball video he was watching

he thinks oh hell, why not

so he signs up, and meets you

he's so awkward oh my god

but you think it's adorable, and you're glad he's not some old dude

he doesn't know what to do so he asks you a lot of questions about what you like and stuff

the first thing he sends you, i kid you not, was a fucking volleyball

you call and ask him about it and he's like:

"it's the best quality"

you keep it.

eventually he starts sending you stuff you ask for, which works out better for both of you

you help him with the concept of a 'luxury life'

eventually gets a black card and literally just says:

"please use it for me, i don't know how"

and you're like damn okay

the first time you attempt to do something sexual he literally short circuits

you have to explain to him that a sugar baby usually repays their sugar daddy/mommy with sexual favors

he makes the 😮 face

he didn't even think you were sexually interested in him?

he'd be lying if he didn't think you were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen

and he's definitely had some um, not so pure dreams about you

and definitely jacked off to the pictures you've sent him

which he just thought was to show him what you liked

so god if he didn't fucking jump your bones right then and there

it was uh, intense, to say the least

best sex of your life

and the cuddles afterwards? on point.

you two get very attached

he really really likes you

introduces you to the team

which was embarrassing

eventually, you decide you want to become financially independent, and so you tell him you want to cancel the agreement

he fucking cries

he so desperately doesn't want to lose you

cause he's fallen in love with you

he tells you about all of the feelings and how you make him want to do anything for you and he's sobbing while telling you

you're shook, because you've kinda been developing feelings too

so you're like, okay, no sugar daddy stuff, be my boyfriend instead

total 180°

tackles you and holds you, on the floor, for like 3 hours

he still spoils you, it's a habit of his now

but you don't really mind, because you have one hell of a man by your side

(gimmie a kageyama pls)

Yaku:

knows exactly what he's doing and knows exactly what he wants.

You.

he probably met you at some sort of event, you going because you were the personal manager for some really weird guy there

he knew he wanted you the second he saw you

and he was straight up about it too

we're talking like walking up to you and saying:

"quit your job, let me take care of you."

and you're surprised, because who just says that?

you don't even know what happened, but you said yes

quit your job that night, and left with him

yeah, you fucked on the first night but so what?

he is the best sugar daddy omg

he already knows what you like just by looking at you

(no he doesn't, he's just called Alisa so many times she swears her phone is gonna break)

he's more of a surprising you with what he's gonna buy kind of guy, but he always enjoys when you surprise him

he takes you everywhere with him

he has a game in another country? you're going. guaranteed.

he just always wants to be near you

it's clearly more than a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship from the start

and he likes it that way

he just doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, so he doesn't say anything

you two fuck....a lot

it's clearly not because of the arrangement anymore

you're just naturally drawn to each other

it's intense

and you spend a lot of time together, not only because he literally takes you everywhere

just because you like it

there'll be periods of time where he doesn't buy you anything and you don't buy anything either, but you still stick around and you still have sex

and that's when he knows you actually have feelings for him

HE'S SO HAPPY OMG

you've been in the arrangement for several years

you're practically dating

and so one day he just asks you to marry him and you're like

fuck yes

who wouldn't want to marry yaku morisuke?

cause i sure as hell want to marry him

Kenma:

i think kenma likes to watch twitch streams in the background while he's playing his games

it's just relaxing

with a fake account, of course, he didn't need all the hype from when he joined their stream

one day, a streamer he was watching ended their steam and raided yours

he first heard your voice and was SHOOK

you had the prettiest voice he'd ever heard

so he looked at his computer screen and nearly died

how could someone have such a pretty voice and a pretty face?

wildly unfair, he thought to himself

at first it was just a low-key thing

he'd watch your streams, whenever you were streaming

it was a miracle you two never streamed at the same time

you were just his go to relaxation method

one day, he heard you mention offhandedly that you were struggling with money

and so you know what he did?

donated 10k

he was already basically in love with you, so why not help you out?

and your reaction was perfect

you started smiling so hard, and thanking him over and over

it put a smile on his face for the next week, kuroo though he was sick

and he did it again, the week after

and again

and again

and so finally you messaged him asking why he kept sending you so much money

and he just sent you his number, with the message "call me"

you were so nervous

but you did

AND OH MY GOD IT WAS KODZUKEN?

WHAT?

you were such a big fan

and you really didn't know what to do

he was ever so kind, (lmao no) and just said:

"let me take care of you. i don't want you to ever have to stop streaming and go find a job that makes you more money."

you're so surprised you can't even speak

WHO SAYS THAT??

KENMA FUCKING KOZUME, APPARENTLY

you agree so hesitantly, and he notices

"you deserve it, please don't feel bad. i want to spend my money on you."

"o-okay"

"good."

and so that's exactly what he does, he'll just send you money every week

and little trinkets too, stuff you've mentioned in your streams or in the calls you'll have

you don't live close at all, but you wanted to meet up

he was sooooo nervous

kuroo, yet again, thought he was sick

and he probably was

but he came to you, and you just walked around a little, you showing him your favorite things about your city

he was just staring at you the whole time

he had come to stay with you for a week

and insisted that you stayed in a hotel with him, even though your house was literally right there

you slept in different beds

until one night you just got really paranoid about the horror game you played earlier

so you walked over and just got into bed with him

he was half asleep, but all he knew was the person of his dreams was laying in a bed next to him and he would hate himself in the morning if he didn't hold you close as physically possible

you woke up in each other's arms

annnnd that's when you both knew you were done for

he asked you to move in the day before he left

you said yes

(now i want a kenma too)

Hinata:

oh my god what a baby

he just wanted someone to be with, really

atsumu was the one who suggested it

after kenma stopped sponsoring Hinata, he ended up learning how to manage his money and he was really good at it??

he invested well and now had a loooot of money

he was talking about his money like a Grown Man

and atsumu was like,

"do ya spend any of it?"

"yeah, on my investments"

"no, i meant like on yourself"

"well for food and stuff"

"LIKE FOR ENJOYMENT"

"m-my gym membership?"

"oh my fucking god"

so atsumu tells him to get a sugar baby

"a baby? i don't have the time for a child!!!"

queue atsumu literally dying inside

he shows Hinata an app and is like,

"don't worry, they're all grown"

"oh"

so atsumu helps him fill out the profile for the app

atsumu uwu's inside when he sees Hinata checked the box for 'emotional fulfillment only'

cause like, what a precious baby

anyway, a couple hours later he gets a match

and he's like

"WOAH ATSUMU LOOK LOOK HOW PRETTY THEY ARE"

"damn, okay hinata, nice kill"

he's so happy to find someone to talk to besides his family and volleyball friends

you two talk

ALL

THE

TIME

and he sends you the cutest things omg

like a little plushie he saw? in the mail the next day

some MSBY merch? yeah, he's sending that too

little snacks he thinks you'd like? yep, those are going too

he sends you the stereotypical sugar baby stuff too, like pretty dresses and suits and lingerie and jewelry

he was blushing so hard when he tried to put the lingerie in the mail, atsumu had to do it for him

a couple days later, you send him a picture of you wearing it

he

wow

sure, he knew you were pretty, and was undeniably physically attracted to you

but he'd never felt like that

he took the LONGEST shower

he couldn't even message you till the next morning because he knew he'd have to look at the picture and god he'd never get to bed if he looked at it any more

he was surprised in the morning when he had messages from you saying sorry and that you shouldn't have sent it and that you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable

that you would understand if he wanted to call off the arrangement

he was like WHAT???? NOOOO

so he drives alll the way to where you live and pounds on your door

you're like hinata what?

"PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT I HATE YOU AND WANT TO CANCEL THE ARRANGEMENT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU LOOKED SO PRETTY AND I JUST I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT AND THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT BAD THINGS LIKE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU DID NAUGHTY THINGS TO ME AND I WANT IT I WANT IT REALLY BAD I-"

you're kissing him

wait

YOU'RE KISSING HIM???

holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

he doesn't know what to do

he's desperately trying to process what you're doing, but with your tongue shoved down his throat that's a little hard

so you know what he does?

he fucking whines

and you're like ohhhh shittttt

yeah you fuck

and you get the nickname mommy

which you love

such a sweet relationship

yes, relationship

you got together

he's so happy

looks like he got laid all the time

(which he usually did, but that's beside the point)

he's just giddy

and it's the cutest thing

10/10 relationship, please cherish him forever

(now i want a kageyama, yaku, kenma and a hinata DAMNIT)

oh my god this was so fun and perfect

@warmbearhugs i'm so glad we talked about with this, and i'm so glad you requested it

taglist: @warmbearhugs wow, i've tagged you 3 times in this post now @beanst0ck @your-local-abyss @oof-she-needs-therapy @tendouthighs @oyasenpai @senkuwu-chan @lovetsuki @kuroos-babie @keijination

send an ask to be added to the taglist!

[moldisgoodforyou]

significant upgrade

i wrote the rest of this on the plane don't come for me if there is a MISTAKE !! (however do politely shoot me a message so i can correct my typo lmao)

wordcount: 3.4k

warnings: nada except brooklyn is a BITCH, ok so maybe cursing is a warning

_________

James: SOS

Sophie

Doll

Sophie: what do you want

James: Come bar

To the bar

Sorry not sober

Sophie: I’m grading, buddy

James: No no no

DEFCON 5

Urgent

After their short back and forth, and James’ little typing bubble popped up multiple times before going away, Sophie pushed aside her work and called him. She checked Find My Friends first, feeling better about the situation once she saw Rafe’s dot at the bar with the boys. “James? Something wrong?”

“Yes. Sophie, listen, look. You gotta get here.” James told her with a little slur to his words, but what was more telling was the sheer volume on the phone call as he yelled. He was always a loud person naturally, but she swore he got ten times louder when he had an ounce of alcohol.

“I already told Rafe I couldn’t, I have to catch up on grading stuff if I want to go out tomorrow. Is something really wrong?” She questioned, but considered going anyway. She’d already graded over half the work and it was proving easier to mindlessly go through than she thought, and she could knock it out tomorrow morning if she really needed to.

“It’s like, urgent, Soph. Look, come here, wear your sluttiest top - that’s not an insult, by the way, it’s a compliment or whatever - like, empowering or some shit - shut up, Colin -”

“James -”

“I’m serious, she is not backing down -”

That caught her attention and she stood, glancing over her appearance in the mirror. “Who?”

“Just c’mere. I’ll have a drink ready for you. Are you still on that Fireball peach schnapps kick? Like a fuckin’ psycho?”

She laughed. “You drink vodka redbulls, James, shut the fuck up. I’ll be there in...uh...ten.”

“Deal. Sluttiest top!” He added before hanging up.

She rolled her eyes, looked herself over in the mirror, and shrugged. She wore an old pair of Nike shorts and a t-shirt of Rafe’s with his name on the back, an old intramural shirt. If it wasn’t senior year, and if she wasn’t locked down already, she’d probably give more of a fuck, but she just wanted to take the opportunity to hang out with her friends while she could. After swiping on a quick coat of cherry lip balm and brushing her hair, she shoved her feet into sandals and made her way to the bar.

When she arrived, she went straight to their usual corner booth and slid in next to Colin, who greeted her with a grin and a drink, as promised. James threw his arm around her shoulders and messed with her hair immediately, making her squawk in protest. “Flint, kiddo, that is not nearly as slutty as I expected.”

“The Cameron on the back adds some possession though, don’t you think?” Colin pointed out, slapping James’ hand away from her.

Sophie scowled, combing her fingers through her hair. “What am I here for?”

“Oh! Right.” James stood on his toes and scanned the bar, locating Rafe in the far corner. Rafe wore a forced smile and was leaning against the wall with a couple of the other interns from Jeni’s over the summer - including Brooklyn, who was twirling her hair and stood right next to Rafe.

Sophie stood on her tiptoes, hand on James’ shoulder for balance as she followed his gaze. “I don’t see him, what am I looking at - oh, shit.”

“Yeah, see why I told you to go for the slutty top?” James reached for her shirt, tugging at the hem until she shoved his hand away.

“No, she would have just implied I was a prostitute or something.” She shook her head and turned back to the table, then took a long sip of her drink, draining nearly half of it in one go. “I don’t want to seem, like, overbearing - I mean, she’s with the whole group.”

Colin raised his eyebrows, skeptical. “She’s touched his arm multiple times and made him link arms when they did shots earlier. Had everyone else partner up too as an excuse.”

“Exactly.” James nodded, emphatic. “I already tried to rescue him, but Colin says m’ too drunk.” He hiccuped to punctuate his statement, then pushed a plastic shot glass toward her. “Here. Got you tequila.”

She wrinkled her nose, eyeing it with a frown. “I hate tequila.”

“See! I told you!” Colin exclaimed, snatching the shot glass away and knocking it back. “If you need backup, just wave or look over or something. I’ll deck her if I need to.”

She grinned, drinking the rest of what James got her. “Thank you, both of you. I appreciate it.”

“Hey. Whoever Rafe’s dating, we’re dating too.” James proclaimed, patting her head affectionately. “Just without the fun parts.”

“Lovely.” She replied, glancing over toward Rafe again. Brooklyn was now leaning just a little closer and Sophie could practically feel the tension radiating from his body, even from all the way across the room. She frowned when the other interns seemed to agree on something, dispersing, but Brooklyn stayed.

Sophie stood there and watched for a few more moments, seemingly frozen, until Colin nudged her shoulder. “Go.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” She dismissed, taking another breath before striding across the room. Of course, someone turned at the exact moment she rounded the bar, spilling their drink down her light pink shorts, soaking the entire left leg. She didn’t even let the guy apologize before she shrugged him off with a grimace and made her way toward Rafe.

He noticed her immediately out of the crowd, grinning and straightening up once he saw her. “Soph!”

She smiled at her eager boyfriend and how he always lit up upon seeing her, without fail. “Hi, baby.” She greeted, slipping her arm around his waist as he rested hers comfortably around her shoulders. She never - ever - used pet names in public, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Thought you weren’t coming out tonight?” He asked, glancing over her outfit and frowned when he realized half her shorts were wet. “What happened?”

“Grading went quicker than I expected.” She dismissed, her eyes flitting over his expression. He looked confused and she could tell from the way his eyes were glassy that he was drunk and nearly on the verge of falling asleep. “Can I try your drink?”

“Rafe, are you going to introduce me?” Brooklyn feigned a smile, fingers tightening around her own drink.

He furrowed his brow even more, looking between the two of them. “I thought you guys met. At the charity gala thing, remember? Sophie had that really pretty dress?”

“Yeah. We’ve met.” Sophie replied coolly, taking Rafe’s whiskey sour from him and took a sip. She hated them, with all her heart, but wouldn’t dare make a face in front of Brooklyn.

“Oh! Sorry, I just didn’t recognize you, you must have been wearing a ton of makeup or something at the gala.”

“She still looked like herself.” Rafe supplied, confused. He traced his thumb over Sophie’s cheekbone, staring at her in concentration before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. Sophie swore she saw Brooklyn’s jaw tick as she watched the two of them, as she watched what she used to have.

“Okay, okay. Rafe, did you tell her about all the fun things we did this summer? Sophie, you were away or something, right?” Brooklyn asked, hyper-conscious of how Rafe leaned into Sophie more and how he pressed a sleepy kiss to her temple.

“Nope.” He replied, popping the p. “Nothin’ to share. The internship was kinda boring. She was in Barcelona.”

“Oh, right. Long distance wasn’t too hard on you then?” Brooklyn probed with a sympathetic smile. She reached toward Rafe to touch his arm reassuringly, then seemed to remember at the last second that Sophie was right there, and jerked her hand back like she’d been burned.

“Nah. Why?” Rafe asked, cocking his head to the side, some of his hair flopping into his eyes.

Brooklyn grinned. “I just didn’t think you’d still be together, is all.”

“That’s funny, because I’m pretty sure you follow me on Instagram. So you’d know.” Sophie shot back with an equally fake grin, determined to come out on top in the petty exchange.

She wished Rafe was more sober so he could make an excuse for them to leave or shut the whole conversation down, but when he was drunk he didn’t pick up on any tone inflections. (She’d accidentally made him upset more times than she could count with a poorly worded sarcastic insult, and immediately felt guilty as his drunken gaze gave way to his signature pout.) To an outsider, their conversation seemed as civil as possible, like three friends catching up, until you got close enough to see the bared teeth and the tense jaws.

“No...I don’t think I’d waste a follow on you.” Brooklyn retorted, glancing down to the Cartier ring on her hand. “Sophie, usually when people wear designer, they have to have the clothes to match the rest of the outfit. Not whatever…” she looked her up and down, scrutinizing her clothing choice. “...Whatever is going on here.”

“Hey.” Rafe interjected, finally noticing the hostile undertones in the conversation. “Be nice, she’s hot in whatever she’s in.”

Sophie had to resist rolling her eyes at his completely unhelpful comment. “It’s okay, Brooklyn, I actually have style, so I don’t have to rely on wearing tacky designer clothes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my boyfriend and I are going to go hang out with our friends.” She glanced over toward the boys for backup and tilted her head toward the door, and James and Colin started making their way over. Alright. So she’d handled that well, she thought, matched her energy without getting too emotional or heated -

Brooklyn wrinkled her nose at Sophie’s comment. “Careful. He gets emotional when he’s drunk.”

“He doesn’t, actually, he was probably just being manipulated by you.” Sophie shot back with a sharp tone, protectively curling her arm tighter around Rafe’s waist. He just watched the back and forth with a furrowed brow, not sober enough to keep up.

James and Colin arrived just as Brooklyn sneered at Sophie, shaking her head. “Whatever. He’ll end up drinking away his problems in private like his dad anyways.”

As Sophie’s nose flared and as she took a quick step toward Brooklyn, getting right up in her space, Colin immediately grabbed Rafe’s arm and pulled him away. “C’mon, Rafe, let’s wait for her outside.”

Rafe let himself be tugged along, but frowned as he glanced back at the girls. “She’s gonna be okay?”

“Yes. She’ll be fine.” Colin replied confidently, dragging Rafe and James out of the bar.

Sophie stood tall, eye-to-eye with Brooklyn. “Don’t say that shit about Rafe. You don’t know him like that -”

“I do, actually. I know a lot more about him than you probably realize. Has he taken you to the Bahamas yet?” Brooklyn didn’t back down at all, smirking when she saw Sophie’s expression falter for a split second. “Still no? He’s probably embarrassed.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Sophie snapped, unable to come up with a better response. “Give it up, you’re not with him anymore.”

“Yeah, but I know he’s not going to keep up this little facade once we graduate college. He needs someone that can keep up with his family, that’ll do more than just hang on his arm at all the charity events.” Brooklyn smiled, taking a step back. “I’ll be there for him when you can’t hold your ground.”

“You’re delusional.” Sophie shook her head, so furious she couldn’t snap back with a sharp comeback. When Brooklyn just shrugged and lifted her drink to her lips, Sophie tipped up the bottom of it, making it splash all over Brooklyn. “Have a good night.”

“Fucking -”

Brooklyn exclaimed, but Sophie just turned on her heel and flipped her off over her shoulder as she strode out. She was fuming, practically shaking, but didn’t dare break down in front of anyone in the bar.

Colin regarded her carefully, making sure she was okay. “You good? Need me to go back in and finish the job?”

Rafe, leaning on James, seemed to finally realize she’d come out. “Baby! You’re back!”

She bit the inside of her cheek, taking a deep breath. “No, I’m okay. Thanks Colin. Need help walking these two home?”

He grinned, gesturing at the way the two boys were slumped against the wall of the bar. “Might need a little help, yeah.”

She nodded and slipped her arm around Rafe’s waist, unsurprised when he leaned into her and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Alright. C’mon, Cameron, your bed awaits.”

James sighed, striding along with them. “I want a girlfriend to bring me home.”

“Too bad, you’re stuck with me for now.” Colin quipped, grabbing James’ arm when he tripped on the uneven sidewalk.

“Was she being mean?” Rafe asked with concern, reaching for her hand. “I wasn’t listening.”

“Yeah. Your ex is a bitch.” She replied bluntly, taking his hand and squeezing it. “Am I gonna have to drag you home?”

“No ma’am. I’m good. All good.” He replied quickly, though unconvincingly as he slurred his words. “There’s a chance that I might be a tiny bit drunk.”

“A tiny bit?” Colin snorted, waving his hand in front of Rafe’s face. “You and James did multiple Jagerbombs. That always does you in.” He glanced over Sophie again, concerned. “Soph. You okay?”

“Huh?” She did her best to help Rafe along and guide his 6’3” frame so he wouldn’t trip over the sidewalk or walk the wrong direction, but was running through a script in her head of all the things she wished she had said - or done - to Brooklyn.

Colin frowned. “You’re doing that thing, Rafe says you bite the inside of your cheek when you’re mad. You want me to go back in? I’ll talk to her, I swear -”

“S’true. She does.” Rafe confirmed, then finally seemed to pick up on the anger radiating from her. “Did I do something?”

“No, baby, you didn’t do anything wrong.” She reassured him quickly, then gave Colin a small smile. “It’s okay. Thank you. I just - she just -”

“Yeah. I know.” Colin nodded. “Fuck her.”

“Exactly. Fuck her.” She repeated, a little louder and a little more confident.

James whipped his head back and started walking backward for about two steps until Colin forced him to keep his eyes ahead. “Who are we fucking?”

“We’re not - James, pay attention.” Sophie sighed, urging him along.

Rafe leaned over to press a kiss to the crown of her head, then whispered - in the loudest stage-whisper possible - “I think I’m a little too drunk for fucking.”

“Rafe.”

“Yes.”

“Please shut up.”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded dutifully, hooking his arm in with hers. They made it to the boys’ house a couple minutes later and Colin shoved James onto the couch, tugged off his shoes and grabbed him a water bottle from the fridge.

“Alright. He’ll be fine here, Sophie, do you need help with the stairs?” He asked, noticing the way Rafe slumped onto her.

“Um...no. I think we got it.” She took a deep breath, her mind still racing from what Brooklyn said at the bar. “Thanks, Colin.”

“Night, you two.” He paused on the stairs, glancing back at James and then at Sophie for a moment before heading upstairs.

Sophie nodded, more to herself than anything else. “Alright. Rafe, baby, work with me on the stairs and then we can go to bed?”

“I got it, I got it. M’not that drunk.” He protested, but tripped up the first step anyways, knocking his knee against the stairs as he fell hard with a thud. “Ow!”

Without even asking, Colin was jogging back down the stairs all the way from his room in the attic, hauling Rafe up before Sophie could blink. He dragged Rafe up and into his room, ignoring his protests, and pushed him onto the bed. “Soph, you can go get ready for bed, or whatever. I’ll babysit.”

“I think I got it, Colin -” She started halfheartedly, only to be cut off by Colin just pointing at the door. She nodded gratefully and hurried into the bathroom, quickly wiping off her makeup and brushing her teeth. When she returned, she paused just outside the door to hear Colin talking to Rafe.

“Give her a break, okay? She just had to deal with your insane ex -”

“She didn’t have to -”

“She did, because you’re a fucking pushover sometimes.” Colin interjected, exasperated. “Your breath reeks, get your ass up and go brush your teeth.”

“You’re mean.” Rafe grumbled back, but got up and ambled out to the bathroom, giving Sophie a dopey grin as he passed. Colin followed him out but stopped in the doorway, acknowledging her with a nod.

Sophie looked like she was about to cry, overwhelmed by how nice he was being and the fact that someone even noticed that she was struggling a little with dealing with Brooklyn. Without a warning, she stepped forward and gave him a quick hug. “Thank you.”

He stiffened in her arms, then awkwardly patted her back after he was released from the hug. “It’s no big deal. Anything for a friend. Especially a friend that’ll stand up to that bitch.” He cracked a grin, nudging his shoulder against hers.

She laughed, rubbing her eyes quickly. “I didn’t realize you felt that strongly about her.”

“Yes. She’s awful.” Colin nodded. “You are a significant upgrade.”

“What are we upgrading?” Rafe asked as he returned from the bathroom just wearing his boxers slung low on his hips, with damp hair - even though they hadn’t heard the shower running - and his breath smelling of mint.

“Nothing, bud. Good night, you two.” Colin gave them a nod of dismissal and strode back upstairs, leaving the two once he was confident Rafe could stand on his own again.

Rafe reached out, noticing her slightly teary eyes, and affectionately stroked his hand over the top of her head. “You good, angel?”

“Just tired.” She yawned to make a show of it. “Where’d your clothes go?”

“Oh. Uh…” He glanced back to the bathroom. “I was gonna shower, but that was too much work, so I just got my hair wet.”

“...Right. Okay, bud, you need sleep.” Sophie ushered him into his room and onto the bed, then changed quickly into a spare pair of pajamas she’d left behind. When she returned to the bed and slipped under the covers next to him, he rolled over to face her, concern written all over his face.

“You’re upset.”

“Not at you.”

“But you’re still upset. Talk to me?” He stroked his thumb over her cheekbone tenderly, unsure what was going on - and honestly, the room would spin a little if he shut his eyes - but he was still conscious enough to pick up on Sophie’s feelings.

She nodded, rolling onto her back so she didn’t have to make eye contact. “It’s just - it makes me so fucking mad that you dated her. Not because of anything you did, but I just know you deserve so much better. And then she just still thinks she has any influence on you, she’s so damn condescending - ugh.” She rolled back over, frowning. “If we ever broke up I don’t think I’d ever be able to see you again.”

“You wouldn’t see me anymore?” He frowned, trying to keep up.

“No. It would hurt too much. That’s how I know she damn well didn’t love you like she should have.” She insisted, eyes bright again as she ranted. “She fucked up by letting you go, you’re a fucking catch, Rafe. I’m sorry she didn’t realize your worth.”

He blushed and pulled her close, nudging his nose against hers before kissing her. “You wanna repeat that again tomorrow when I’m sober? So I make sure I remember?” He had a joking tone, but seemed a little unsure too.

“Absolutely. I’ll tell you that every damn day if I need to.” She kissed him back, heatedly, as if to emphasize her point. “I love you. You’re mine and I love you.”

“M’ yours.” He confirmed with a sleepy nod, not nearly reciprocating the kiss as hard as hers. “My favorite girl.”

She pulled away, peppering kisses over his nose and cheeks before resting her head on his chest. “Good night, baby. Don’t you dare throw up in bed.”

He laughed as he wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes. “I won’t. Sweet dreams, Soph.”

taglist: @drewstarkey @lemur46 @jjmaybanksbaby @edgeofgr8 @quxxnxfhxll @obxtess @hoodpankow @vtgirl802 @outerbankies @messagesinthesky @nicolecarsley @svechnikolan @ilovejjmaybank @obxtess @abbyj1822 @oopsiedoopsie23 @g4bster @jjmaybankzz @freddymaybank @dontjinx-it @illbesafeforyou @moniamaybank @tovvaa @jailcalledlife @sunshineitsfine44 @randomficsandshit @outerbankspreferences @outerbanksbro @karsinner @kkmaybank @whoeveniskendall @lemur46

[bluehairedtracii]

Hooks and Coins|| Harry Hook x Reader Soulmate AU!

Requested: by @lemonypink

Warnings: Harry being cute 

Pairings: Harry Hook x Swann-Turner! Reader

Author's note: Oh my gosh this took so long! I’m literally so sorry! My motivation for writing has been a little iffy lately. Buuutt I’ve also been binging Criminal Minds soo it kinda gave me a creative push to start writing again. (Spencer Reid fics comin in the future) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this fic as I get back into writing again. 

P.S. Melody is Melody from the second little mermaid movie, and I know she's kinda not mentioned again in the fic but just know that this is y/n’s best friend and that’s who she is lmao.  I also thought the Coin would fit well in here because of the movies just sshhhh. Enjoy!!!!

----------------------------------------------

"it's soon! I swear!" The night of your 16th birthday, the day your life would change.

The day you get your soulmate tattoo.

"Are you sure??" Melody whines. "I'm positive! Look, it's not even 12:00 on the dot yet- ONE MORE MINUTE!" You look back from the phone on your lap to your right wrist.

"It's twellveeee." Melody cooed.

"Please please please..." You muttered still hopeful.

Then it hit, well stung. "Ow, ow, I feel it!"

"Let me see!" Melody basically climbed on top of you and saw it before you could. She gasped "oh my gosh y/n..." "What? What is it?" You tried to pull back your wrist to see, but Melody kept it steady.

"Y/n, as your best friend, I have to warn you as to what you're about to see...."

"C'mon Mells, it can be that bad." You sighed and tried to pull away from her. 

"You have to PROMISE Me that you won't freak out?"

Annoyed, you sighed and smiled "I promise." "Okay.." she released your hand. You rubbed your wrist and looked at the small tattoo, "A Hook?" "Not just any hook... Penny told me about this." "This is the same hook as the famous Captain Hook himself! It must be his son!"

"Captain? So my soulmate is a Pirate? Like Dad and Mom?" Melody nods almost worried.

"Awesome."

--------------------------------------

"It's late Harry, your sister is gonna kill us if we get caught and wake your dad." Gill rubbed his eyes as he walked towards the galley of the ship.

"I know, but this is where the best lighting is...in a few minutes, I'll get me soulmate...well uh, tattoo I mean." He whispered and unlocked the door, cursing at the squeaky floors.

Harry turned on the lamp nestled on his father's desk. The room lit up illuminating the maps that his father and oldest sister had drawn up while sailing the open seas. He dreamed of nothing more than doing that, sailing and hailing a crew of his own, but for now, he follows Uma’s orders. 

“One more minute Harry.” Gill whispered looking at the tickless clock on the desk.

“Aye, ow! fff-!” Harry cupped his hand and flipped it to see his wrist, he bit back the pain as he saw the black ink form on his wrist. He’d been confused and tried to make it out as it formed. “Bloody hell, this sure is detailed in’it?” Gill loomed over Harry's shoulder, wondering what it was himself, Gill was sure he wasn't ready for his soulmate yet if he had to endure this much pain. 

Harry closed his eyes and exhaled as the pain stopped.

He opened his eyes to see the grim Aztec Coin staring back at him.

“Holy shi-” “Gil do you know what this means?!” “She’s spooky?” “No GIl, you git, She’s a pirate! and she’s a Turner...” He says in awe as he smiles down at his wrist.

----------------------------------------------

A few months later both of you seemed to forget. The events of your daily lives getting in the way. You’re training to go off on a sailing trip with your dad for a few months, and Harry is… currently Helping Uma get revenge on Mal by kidnapping Ben. 

But.. you were unaware of this. Obviously. 

Lonnie and you were fencing/sword fighting in the school’s courtyard (for fun) when you saw the boys rushing into the limo. You both caught up to them and questioned them immediately. 

“What’s going on here Jay?” Lonnie snickered full well knowing what’s happening because she overheard it earlier passing their room. “We.. uh..” “we’re going with you..” Lonnie cut the pair off. And this is how you went to the Isle of the Lost for the first time. 

They had told you the plan but left out the part about who they were going to have to deal with if the plan went south. You were nowhere near nervous. All those times you’d trained with Lonnie and your parents at the shop basically were all for this moment. Your pirate self was ready. 

Mal handed over the wand and you cringed a bit. “She’s gonna know it's fake…” you turned to Lonnie and whispered. “Shh I know, get ready..”  you prepped your sword and placed one hand on your lapel while the other was free to toss the swords. 

That’s when everything went south. You and Lonnie sprung into action and helped the others. The sounds of metal clashing mixed with the creaking of the ship and the salty sea air made you happy, it filled you with adrenaline. It felt like you were at home.

2 people fighting you at once, then three, then none, one by one you tossed them overboard.

You were caught in the crossfire between Carlos and some other goons so you ducked under them and sprung onto your feet right into someone else's back. 

You both turned to each other, swords ready, you saw him and you felt that burning in your body. The one that your friends always said happened when you met your soulmate… “Ow!” “Oi!!” Harry lurched back and held his hand. And so did you. 

“You…” he pointed at you “are you…?” you held up your hand and showed your tattoo. He gasped and smiled “I knew I’d see you one day..”  you said in awe. You heard Uma yell for Harry and his smile faltered into a smirk.

“Sorry lass, no ‘ard feelings right?” “Obviously.” You struck your sword first and your swords clashed with each other. “I knew you were good Turner, but not this good.” he laughed as you both turned a corner of the ship. “Thanks! Maybe I can teach you sometime Hook, You seem a bit rusty!” “Oi! My ‘eart Lass.. that one hurt!” 

You snickered and he had caught you by a wood post “awe, our first dance is over now?” your eyes sparkled. He smirked ”Aye if this were different, i’d very much like to get to know you lassy…”  he got closer almost closing the gap in between you two. And his lips brushed yours before you heard Mal and Lonnie yell that it’s time to go. You smiled “sorry Luv, it’s time for me to go!” you kiss his cheek and push him away into a hole that’s in the ship. “Oi! That’s not fair!”

You were the last one to leave and thought of an idea, you caught up with them and helped Mal to kick off the ramp back to the car. “Find me!” You blew a kiss to Harry and smiled, and so did he. on the inside, of course, he had to be “mad” for Uma’s sake. But right now he was anything but. He just met his Soulmate and she was everything he dreamed of.

-------------------------------------

Almost a year had passed when you had first met Harry. And you constantly think about him every day and so does he. 

He sat at the bow of the ship looking out to the ocean thinking about you. It’s all that he’s been thinking about actually. He’s waiting for the day you can be with each other and in each other's arms. You literally took his breath away, because you kicked him, but he was entranced by your skills and beauty. He dreams about learning with you, meeting your folks, owning a ship, and most importantly.. Sailing away with you to see the world. He was stuck here. 

Though he didn't know that you had convinced Ben (it took a lot of convincing) to let Harry over onto the isle for a while. Your boating trip with your dad had gone so well that you also convinced your dad to let you go alone this time. Your parents knew how a forbidden love felt more than anyone else. The love between the two of them, a humble blacksmith that was the son of a pirate and the daughter of a wealthy governor who found that boy so long ago. They were never supposed to be together in society's standards, but their love was the strongest bond. They granted their blessing to you, they knew you'd be safe. You’re a strong pirate and they want to see you the happiest you can be.

You smiled and looked out the window of the limo as it crossed the bridge. Mal and Evie both came with you so they could help you find him and tell him the news. You guys slip onto the docks while Mal and Evie keep guard on the limo and watch you just in case you need back up. “Ursulas…” you smile and cross through the swinging doors, you found him and you felt the burning feeling in your body again. So did he. “OI!” he dropped the basket of chips he was holding and growled at the mess he made. He was fuming until he locked eyes with you. “My princess has come back to me?” he smiled and walked towards you completely forgetting about the fries as he kicked them to the side. “Hey Hook.” you smiled and felt his hand on your face but he backed away. “Woah Turner you ain't gonna kick me ‘gain right?” “no.” you laughed and you both hugged each other. 

He took the two of you outside “what are ye doin here luv? I mean, you don’ ‘ave to make any excuses to see me, but you came all the way from the other side.” he laughed and pushed back a strand of stray hair behind your ear. You blushed and held one of his hands, but unknowingly played with one of the rings on said hand. He bit his lip smiling at your nervousness. “U-Uhm.” you were surprised by the nerves in your voice, you were never this nervous before. This boy is going to wreck you. “It took major convincing, but I finally convinced my family and Ben to let you come to Auradon with me for a three-month sailing trip…” you smiled and looked at him. His eyes lit up and he lifted you off the ground and spun you around. “Are ye serious?! Of course I'd go with you!”  “Great! We leave…” you check your watch on your left arm. “ In 30 minutes!” “Aye! I need to pack!”  you laughed.

 he backed you into the wall. You smirked, “oi, I've been trying to do this ever since the first time we met.” He closed the gap between you two and the feeling of his soft pillowy lips on yours brought you comfort and warmness. You kissed back and ran your fingers through his dark locks as he tightened his grip around your waist. You never wanted this to end. “25 minutes!” You heard the girls yell and you pulled away and laughed. “I've finally found my Turner..” “And I’ve finally found my Hook..”

[subwalls]

CONFRONTATION. || DreamSMP 

An analysis on Ranboo’s January 30th stream, meant to pick apart c!Ranboo’s complex relationship with reality and the voices in his head. This will be broken up into three (3) parts: introduction, stream analysis, and conclusion.

cw unreality, derealization, etc.

INTRODUCTION.

Before we start, I want to make clear that this is just my personal reading of the stream’s events, and as such it may not be the same as yours, and that’s okay! Critical reading is all about how one work can be viewed through a variety of lenses to yield very different conclusions, and the validation of one does not immediately mean all the others are Bad and Wrong.

We all got that? Cool.

Now, a common theory being tossed around at the moment is the idea that the entire stream was a dream (ha) or hallucination. This possibility is somewhat backed up by a few observations I will point out in the rest of this post, but for the sake of seriously dissecting this dream into truths and untruths, I will not be assuming that everything that happened was fake. I’ll delve a little deeper into why this theory doesn’t completely convince me in the conclusion, too.

STREAM ANALYSIS.

Aw yeah, here comes the frame-by-frame analysis of 41 minutes of footage.

... Well, kinda. Let’s start with a play-by-play instead of a frame-by-frame, yeah? 

At 2:45 into the stream, Ranboo starts out in the panic room, looking at the “You are fine” sign. He says that Sam told him he can visit Dream (”him”) today, and reflects on the fact that he’s no longer looking for clarity or confrontation (me, looking at the stream title: uh,) but rather to make Dream think about what he did.

“He deserves to know what he did.” (Ranboo at 3:47)

“I’m gonna tell him what those thoughts are.” (Ranboo at 3:55, which is an... interesting remark, seeing as the voice in his head that sounds like Dream has been trying to tell Ranboo what his thoughts are. But it doesn’t mean anything substantial.)

Vibe check so far? REAL. Nothing appears to be out of place in the panic room. Ranboo is nervous but keeping it together and talking himself through it. Sounds great!

After a bit of psyching himself up (and noticeably declaring his memory book to be the only one that hasn’t been tampered with), Ranboo starts towards the prison. He’s scared and doesn’t know why, but he’s gonna do it.

One thing of note is that he passes by Sam Nook’s construction site, and the place’s big map sign thing never quite loads in properly. The whole thing just stays black. Suspicious, but those maps are honestly kinda glitchy at loading in anyway because they’re entities instead of blocks. Or maybe Sam Nook’s doing some prep. (Edit: more likely is that this is a clone of the Dream SMP server for the sake of what they’re about to do to the prison, and it doesn’t have the map plugin, so all the picture maps in the world are broken.)

As the prison comes into view, he continues talking to himself (he’s never been to prison, apparently; he’s been inside Pandora’s Vault before, but not as a prisoner). He thinks about the fact that he could get rid of Dream if he wanted to, but no, he couldn’t. 

The prison entrance portal is actually already lit. Ranboo isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do but eventually hits the button.

After quite a bit of waiting, Sam eventually greets him (13:32) and invites him to step into the portal. Ranboo goes through the portal and appears in a warped forest biome.

This is incredibly suspicious. The prison’s nether portal is supposed to be a customized portal in six (6) layers of obsidian that floats over a sea of lava. In fact—and I will come back to fix this if I’m mistaken—I’m pretty sure the portal resides in the fringes of a basalt delta, not a warped forest. You can see a bit of a basalt delta poking over the warped fungi in the distance, but Ranboo is very clearly in the wrong spot. 

So why the warped forest, the wrong biome and the wrong portal? It probably has something to do with the fact that Ranboo is part enderman, and enderman live in the warped forest. With the End forbidden and unknown (seeing as Techno and Phil had no idea what an End Portal was), the warped forest is likely the closest thing endermen as a species can call home in the Dream SMP.

Anyway. This is the earliest instance of either a brief hallucination or Ranboo losing his connection to reality altogether.

Ranboo goes through the portal when instructed to by Sam and properly appears in the prison’s interior portal, facing Sam at his warden’s... desk thing. Sam has Mining Fatigue right now, by the way, as seen by the particles. Ranboo is then teleported to Sam (14:20) for some reason (maybe because, behind the scenes, he was in a duped prison portal in order to make the warped forest thing happen), appearing to be inside Sam’s space before he moves back out. They do not acknowledge this.

Sam does the same series of questions to Ranboo that he did to Tommy. Ranboo says that he has not come to the prison before or even spoke to Dream before, and expresses to Sam his desire to bring his memory book along. Sam agrees on the condition that he holds onto it during the way there.

Side note: Ranboo does not get Mining Fatigue until he’s already inside the prison and being questioned. (14:47) This is quite different from the timing when Tommy got Mining Fatigue in his visit, but considering the fact that we don’t know the placement of the elder guardians or even how many there are, this could just be natural variation...

Anyway, Ranboo does the same thing we saw Tommy do with the locker and the examinations and whatever, except that Sam is... more cordial. Nicer. This is vaguely suspicious, but he’s been a little softer since his encounter with the Crimson and he has a clear soft spot for the kids. Tommy also is very different from the clearly nervous Ranboo (Sam points out that Ranboo is nervous later on, around 20:01, so he definitely noticed), so he could have just been being nice to the poor traumatized kid... Or maybe this is just a Sam constructed from Ranboo’s memories of a nice person, and not the real one. It’s not very clear but could be swayed in either direction.

One odd thing—Ranboo took quite a bit to die to the harming potions, and I feel like Tommy died faster, but I’ll have to check. It’s as though Ranboo got Harming I instead of Harming II? Sam even comments that it “took a minute” (19:12). Also, Ranboo loses his levels in this process, so, uh, if his next stream he appears with levels, that means there’s something happening that we ain’t seeing.

A skeleton dies somewhere offscreen lmao.

Ranboo is immediately re-inflicted with Mining Fatigue every time he dies, by the way, so they’re definitely within range of the elder guardians.

Ranboo endures the water section of the trip and it sucked but he seems about the same level of nervous as before, so. Sam takes the time to reassure him and give him the memory book at the last step before the cell itself.

“He [Dream] shouldn’t misbehave, he knows what happens when he does.” (Sam at 25:23, he still got that bit of ruthless warden in him.)

Vibe check again—this prison, physically speaking? Seems real. It’s possible that Ranboo could be drawing on memories from his other self, but considering that he has never been to the prison before, the fact that the prison is the exact same as the real prison that Tommy went to seems to indicate that this is a real experience. 

Ranboo’s Mining Fatigue gets refreshed, so looks like the elder guardians reach here too. Dream has the Mining Fatigue particles as soon as he comes into view. (Only pointing this out because it notably took Dream a long time to get Mining Fatigue back when Tommy visited him.)

A weird sound happens at 27:31. Not sure what that’s about.

The lava curtain comes back down, and Ranboo turns around to see Dream. His screen shakes a bit as he turns, which could be anything from lag (there’s a lot of lava moving right now) to nerves (both in-character and out). (Edit: confirmed in the chill stream following that he was just nervous, and feeling his character’s nervousness.) First thing of note, here: the item frame holding the clock on the wall is transparent. This is a texture pack thing, presumably—could be the same thing that fucked up the construction site’s map sign earlier, maybe it’s even just the texture pack that some members of the SMP have installed for the chess thing—but it’s still something to notice. 

Dream greets Ranboo with quite a bit of joy and energy, and says it’s not a surprise for Ranboo to visit, and altogether makes numerous implications that he and Ranboo’s other self have been conversing a lot in the times that Ranboo doesn’t remember. 

“We’re best friends, right?” (Dream at 28:19, and I better not see any serious remarks about gaslighting here Dream is actually telling the truth, he just has not realized that this Ranboo doesn’t remember their conversations.)

“I’ve probably talked to you more than I’ve talked to anybody on the entire server.” (Dream at 28:27, indignant at Ranboo’s claim that they’ve barely talked, which. Yeah. I mean this whole thing could be a lie or fake but... I don’t know, I’m not convinced.)

Ranboo, whose understanding of his relationship to Dream is very different from Dream’s apparent understanding of their relationship, claims that Dream is just trying to scare him. Dream sounds confused and asks, “Why are you acting different?” (28:45) so he’s definitely not had dealings with this (awake?) Ranboo, but rather the... other set of memories.

“Ooooh.” (Dream at 28:56, which I think marks the moment he realizes that this is the other Ranboo, and it isn’t the one that he normally speaks with.)

Dream continues to say that he’s glad that Ranboo’s come to visit, that Ranboo’s been a great helping hand, and Ranboo immediately accuses him of somehow knowing about the whole panic room situation, and after Ranboo declares that he’s not going to let Dream trick him into thinking that he did those things—

“But you did do those things.” (Voice at 29:36)

Voice is always fake; it’s not “real” (audible by anyone else), and it’s not Dream.

Kudos to cc!Dream, by the way, his tone audibly changes when he switches into Ranboo’s Voice. This, I believe, is the turning point of the stream. The Voice returns, marked by the tone difference from c!Dream and also by the constant referral to Dream in the third person. 

Now, here’s the interesting thing. The Voice claims that the reason why it went away is because Dream was put in prison and thus they haven’t been talking as much, which leads to Ranboo forgetting how Dream sounds like and thus robbing Voice of that, well, voice. (29:58) The implication here is that the reason behind Dream’s voice being the Voice of the “other” in Ranboo’s head is because the other just talks to Dream a lot. 

Ranboo questions the third person thing, asking if he’s gone insane in prison, and there’s a pause, and then Dream says, “You’re right, you’re right. Yes, yes, there’s not much to do here.” (30:20) The tone shift is a little more subtle here, but the way Dream responded—it’s like he was responding to something else. “Have you gone insane” doesn’t usually lead to “You’re right”, because that’s a question, not a statement. 

We’re real again, folks. But only briefly. Actually, it sounds like real Dream has been talking to someone while Ranboo was talking with his Voice, and when Ranboo heard him again, he was mid-conversation. Dream may have been speaking with that other Ranboo and we as the audience and Ranboo simply couldn’t hear.

Dream apparently doesn’t like his clock (30:32), and then prompts Ranboo to see what he’s been writing. In suspiciously good timing, we hear the elder guardian’s curse go off again to refresh Mining Fatigue, and then Dream hands Ranboo a book.

Here, the unreality really sets in.

The book is named Do not read. (30:47) It is a precise copy of Ranboo’s memory book, and when Ranboo checks Dream’s chest full of books, they are all named Do not read. and have the same contents. What appears to be real Dream invites him to look through them, and as Ranboo panics over this, what appears to be the Voice rather than c!Dream tells Ranboo that he needs “to face the truth” (31:18).

Ranboo says the truth is that Dream is a terrible person who hurt others.

The Voice says the truth is that Ranboo helped “me”. (31:35) Now, I can’t tell if this is a slip of the tongue on cc!Dream’s part or on the Voice’s part, but he does correct himself and say “Dream” after, so take that how you will. 

At this point, the Dream on the screen’s body language starts to match up with the Voice (moving while it talks), and the Voice claims “I’m not even Dream,” which lines up with its prior claims that it is just another part of Ranboo. 

Ranboo tries to rationalize the situation, assuming that the real Dream is speaking right now, but the Voice refers to Ranboos memories in the first person (“I know what I went through because I’m you,” 32:01), reinforces the fact that “you” (Ranboo) use to talk with Dream every day, and the only reason the Voice stopped happening is because he couldn’t picture Dream’s voice after not speaking with him since Dream went to prison. 

“He [Dream] would tell you [Ranboo] things to do. You were like his little... servant.” (Voice at 32:24)

Ranboo refuses this, the Voice continues to insist that he did help Dream, Ranboo asks why he doesn’t remember, and Voice says that he does; the Voice remembers, and the Voice is Ranboo. 

And then the Voice says, “I’m not even real,” and the Dream on screen vanishes. 

We don’t see a logout message on screen, but Ranboo isn’t in f1, so Dream probably either /tp’d somewhere OR switched to spectator mode. Ranboo suddenly gets the Nausea effect, panics and looks at the chest and says that he got rid of the voice, but the obsidian starts falling (gravity applied to the cell, hope they have a backup of the server to rollback to or let themselves use creative lmao) which unveils some details in the Pandora’s Vault inner chamber that I’d love to dissect but not now, and then Ranboo "hits the ground too hard” and dies.

Of note: Ranboo’s death screen is not vanilla. The word “Died” is capitalized where it shouldn’t be, and even though Ranboo lost his levels dying on the way in, his score is 206810. I bet that’s a code for something but I have no idea what for.

(I typed 206810 into my search bar and got a hex code for green. Yeah. Darker than what you’d associate with Dream, but... green.)

And then we have morse code crown and smiley that’s supposed to say “not free yet” or something but apparently there’s other translations because cc!Ranboo might’ve hecked it up a little bit. Oops.

But yeah, there you go! That’s the stream.

Not once does Ranboo press tab, by the way. Something makes me think that that might be because they’re not on the real Dream SMP—also to, you know, avoid having to rebuild the prison.

CONCLUSION.

I do think the prison visit is real at first. Ranboo falls in and out of contact with reality, and the warped forest is definitely fishy, but the layout of the prison is too precisely accurate to be wholeheartedly dreamed up. He’s never been there before, after all, and Sam doesn’t correct him—which could mean that Sam is fake and Ranboo is drawing on those other memories, but we never see Ranboo use memories he doesn’t have, he just acts on emotions and feelings that his other self seems to have.

So, the moments that are “real” are Ranboo walking to the prison, through the prison, and the first part of his talk with Dream. He clips back into reality just in time for Dream to show him a book, which immediately pops Ranboo back into the land of hallucinations, because there’s no way Dream has so many copies of the real memory book when he’s been isolated in his cell this entire time. The warped forest was probably a hallucination born of Ranboo’s enderman (sleepwalking) half being nervous, since Ranboo said he was nervous but couldn’t pinpoint why; it was probably that other side. Still don’t know why he’d be nervous though, when it seems like Dream’s happy to see him. 

The room caving in and Dream disappearing are fake. I think it’s symbolic of the other side forcing Ranboo to black out in order to have a conversation with Dream that isn’t being interrupted by the awake self. Who knows where and how Ranboo is going to wake up next time, honestly. Or even if he’ll remember the visit at all.

Oh, and I really doubt this costed a canon life. There’s some very funky implications if it does, but I’ll only get into that if we get a confirmed life lost.

Again, the Voice is not Dream but instead is the side of Ranboo that actually remembers the supposedly “bad” things he did at Dream’s behest. Interestingly, Dream calls them besties, but the Voice sounds almost... scornful and refers to Ranboo as Dream’s little servant. Sure tells you how fucked up c!Dream’s definition of a friend is, huh?

Speaking of c!Dream, here’s an interesting thought: sleepwalking Ranboo only speaks Ender, as shown by his attempts to communicate with Philza. So, assuming that sleepwalking Ranboo is the “other” Ranboo that remembers things, he probably couldn’t have visited the prison, because he couldn’t organize a visit time with Sam, because that would require speaking Player.

However. He used to speak with Dream on a regular basis.

Which means Dream speaks (or at least understands) Ender. This would also explain why the Voice manifests as Dream’s; it’s the only other voice that understands the tongue it uses.

I’ve got a lot of thoughts about Pandora’s Vault because we got a little sneak peek at some of the redstone behind those obsidian walls when the room started caving in, but that’s for later. Hope this was helpful to... I dunno, anyone? I’ll probably come back and add/edit things as needed.

[iotiamohd]

@iotiamo follow for follow? <3

Schrödinger’s Leak

We’re extremely sorry to say: this is fake. We made it because we’re agents of chaos  to prove that it was possible to do something like this in two days. It took a lot of work at the sacrifice of our sanity, but we did it, and filmed on a phone like the original leak was, it could pass off as real. (Look through this blog if you want to see the ugly truth of the HD version.)

The problem is...we were originally doing this to prove that the leak was real, because “no way someone would do this in two day, especially without getting paid”, and instead not only we realized it’s possible, but we’re left with more doubts than before. Keep on reading if you’re interested in what we (didn’t) find out, and what we did to put this together. 

We could have posted this a bit earlier, but we didn’t want to distract from the #SomethingToSay campaign.

IO TI AMO

Guys. Guys, we wish we could explain the sheer amount of things Vittorio Guerrieri, Cas’ voice actor, has been in. This man is in every anime dub ever, it’s impressive—we knew finding that specific “Io ti amo” was a losing battle, but we still tried. 

Oh, God, did we try. We went through English scripts of all the rom-coms he’s dubbed; compared that to the Italian subtitles of those same movies, looked for working links to stream the Italian dub and check if the “I love you”s we found were the right one....brain cells were lost. Progress was not made. 

We settled on using the one in Marley & I (lmao), that Owen Wilson’s character says to the dog  to his wife. It’s even better than the one in the leak, in our humble opinion, @ og leaker, suck our collective dicks.

Pictured here: Owen Wilson confessing his undying love for Dean Winchester (as he should).

ANCHE IO

The closest match we had is Dean's Anch'io, (me too).

Although it wasn't a Supernatural "exclusive" line, we decided to search within the original scripts and look for an Italian corrispondance. We found it.

2x20 [9.54] - What Is And What Should Never Be It not only was a perfect match in terms of sounds, but after analyzing the file with Audacity we had no doubt about it. Furthermore, if you overlap the OG leak's "me too" with the one we found, they seem to perfectly fit. 

Listen to the cleaned and compared audios here, and stay tuned for our mixtape, it’s gonna be straight fire. 

Here are the graphs. The “Anche io” from 2x20:

“Anche io” from the leak:

Obviously we didn’t expect them to look the same, considering the differences in audio quality, but they’re still very similar. It was listening to the audios side by side that convinced us. 

...Is this proof that the leak is fake? Idk. Probably yes. But what if it’s a coincidence that they’re so similar? How different could the two graphs for two small words said by the same person possibly be, after all. And what about all the other lines that we couldn’t find a match for? You see now why we’re conflicted. 

CASTIEL

The original idea was to go through every. single. time. Dean says “Castiel” in the Italian dub, hoping to find a perfect match for the one in the leak. We figured every other line could have been taken from the voice actors’ older works (both Castiel’s and Dean’s are very popular here in Italy, and their voices have appeared in...everything, basically)—but that “Castiel” had to come form Supernatural. 

We didn’t find it. We went through a lot of the episodes with Castiel in them, the ones with more emotional scenes first, and found nothing...we ended up getting distracted by the search for Mi dispiace, Dean, when we realized that also had to come from Supernatural. We settled on using the first close match we thought of: the scene in 09x01 where Dean is praying in the hospital’s chapel. 

This is not the “Castiel” used in the leak, so we can’t prove that it’s a recycled line stoled from an older episode of the Italian dub. For all we now, Stefano recorded it for 15x18. 

“Castiel” from 09x01:

“Castiel” from the leak:

Does this prove anything, considering how bad the audio quality of the leak is? We wouldn’t get the same exact graph even if it was the same snippet of audio. (By the way, when we started this we thought that Dean had rarely said Castiel’s name like that in the dub. We’d forgotten than Italian!Dean never calls him Cas, the asshole.)

The same problem remains: did the leaker find some obscure anime episode where Guerrieri says Io ti amo and used it to dub Castiel, or is this all very real, and that’s why we couldn’t find it anywhere? We don’t know, we just don’t know. 

MI DISPIACE, DEAN

Apart from the very wistful "Castiel..." right before Dean gets chucked on the ground (lol get rekt), the other line that came without a doubt from Supernatural is "Mi dispiace, Dean."

I'm sorry, Dean, a sentence that Cas doesn't say that often throughout the show: we checked the English scripts, and we found only three instances where it happens (we only have up until season 13 dubbed in Italian, so if he ever says it in the remaining two seasons, it certainly doesn't have an Italian version). 

5x22 - Swan Song: Cas says it, and it's very obviously not the one in the leak. The tone is completely different. 6x22 - Meet the new boss: again, close but no cigar. 7x01 - Reading is fundamental: at first we thought it was the exact same one, and that's why this particular Mi dispiace, Dean is the one you can hear in our fake leak. After checking with Audacity, the one in the episode and the one in the og leak don't correspond. It's just the closest we could find. 

So...? What does this mean? We don't know. It's very possible that Italian!Castiel does say Mi dispiace, Dean somewhere in another episode, straying away from the original English script, but without transcriptions of the Italian dub available online, we had no idea where to start. 

It's also possible that the leak is real, and that's why we found no doubles for this line. 

Also: we've seen people in various posts about the leak saying that the change from "Goodbye, Dean" to "I'm sorry, Dean" is suspicious. It's not uncommon to change lines if it means lipsinking them better, and considering what was happening in the scene, it's not out of place to have Cas apologize to Dean. It wouldn't sound weird to someone who has never watched the original episode. 

But, there's another argument to make...Cas has never said goodbye, Dean in older episodes (as far as we could find), and the og leaker was forced to use the next best thing they could find in the Italian dub. 

THAT MONITOR...THAT DAMNED MONITOR...

That monitor in the leak looked so sus at first. Is it normal for professional studios to use equipment older than some people on this hell site?

Apparently yes. 

We've found a bunch of photos of voice actors in front of the screen they use at work, and they all look like that. Dusty. 

These pictures also confirmed that the punctuation in the frame rate changes—sometimes it's all :, sometimes it's all ; (like in the case of the OG leak), sometimes it's mixed. Once again, we can't prove anything one way or another.

This is a pic from 2009 of Davide Chevalier, Sam's voice actor, and the framerate looks different from the one in the leak...then again, it's from 2009. What does it mean? What does it all mean?

FINAL CRIES FOR HELP

If you know more than us, please tell us:

Did we read the Audacity graphs correctly? Do they prove/disprove anything that we didn’t mention?

Does the framerate make any sense? Are we being bamboozled?

Do you have any insight on whether or not season 15 is already been dubbed? We know that season 14 will go on air in bundles of three episodes starting from the 12th of December, so it’s not crazy to think season 15 is already in the works.

Was this worth it? Was any of this worth it? We slept very few hours last night. 

tl;dr: in conclusion, we CAN’T affirm with absolute certainty if the Italian leak is fake or not, since we have evidences leading both way. Sadly, the final word will be when the episode will actually air next year.

IRTF - Internet Research Italian Rogue Task Force

[peaches-writes]

d-day

description: a graduation seven years in the making member: minho / lee know genre: fluff (?), angst, almost lovers au, college au, reader is a film student word count: 7.8k warnings: explicit language, drinking, food, suggestive note: this is so patchy n messy im so sorry anw based on one of my fave films 

d-3 until graduation

You exhale a sigh of relief at finally finishing 2 hours worth of revisions, rubbing your blurry eyes before stretching your tired arms upward. Professor Park, your thesis adviser, looks up from her own work at your action, a small smile on her lips. “Done?” 

You nod with a grin as you quickly open your laptop’s Mail browser, forwarding your final, final, final thesis to her e-mail account. “I already e-mailed it to you, Prof. Park.” 

Your thesis adviser then turns her eyes back to her laptop, clicking on some icons in her laptop screen then turning back to you, “Well, then, I guess you’re free to go, Y/N.” She then closes her laptop. “Happy graduation.” 

Fucking finally, you groan internally while externally mustering up a grateful smile as you gather your belongings and stand up from your workspace. “Thank you, Professor Park!” 

Professor Park nods with an acknowledging hum, taking a sip of her coffee. “Go celebrate with your friends this week, eat out, party, whatever. I heard that Jaehyun kid from CAL is hosting the yearly graduates-only party.” 

You giggle over your hand. Though Professor Park is one of the ‘hip’ members of the faculty, she always seems to surprise everyone by how much student gossip she knows. “I will? Thanks?” You then bid her goodbye, leaving the classroom. 

Crossing the hallway to the stairs at the leftmost end of the building, you whip out your phone from the side pocket of your backpack, scrolling through your messages and opening your chat with your best friend, Minho. 

y/n: where r u? 

y/n: just passed my thesis 

y/n: officially officially graduating!!! [sent 10:49 AM] 

You then go down the three flights of stairs to the lobby, greeting the security guards and undergraduates who greet you back with kind congratulations as you pass the entrance. Then, going down the final staircase down to the sidewalk, you cross the pedestrian lane to your department building’s parking lot, proceeding straight to your car and checking your phone once again as you start the engine. 

minho: congrats!!!

minho: dept building where else lmao 

minho: w hyunjin 

minho: not done yet [10:51 AM]

You place your phone on one of the cup holders and your backpack in the backseat before turning your entire body facing front, driving backwards as you exit the parking lot. 

You arrive at the Performing Arts Building in less than a song on the radio, parking at their parking lot and eventually finding Minho and Hyunjin in one of the mirrored practice rooms, dancing to the last verse of Chan’s new song. You greet the two through the reflection, waving hello and receiving short waves in return. 

“Congratulations, Y/N!” Hyunjin adds to his greeting, turning around and running to you with extended hands for a hug. Minho pauses the music from his laptop lying nearby, stifling his laughs at knowing very well how you would react to Hyunjin’s initiative to give you a hug. 

When Hyunjin tries hugging you, you immediately swat his hands away, as Minho accurately expected. “Gross, you’re so sweaty!” You exclaim, making Hyunjin pout and Minho finally let out the chuckle he’s been trying to hide. Averting your eyes to your best friend standing behind Hyunjin, only then do you notice him walking towards you as well. 

Minho pats your head once he’s in front of you, careful of not messing your hair. “Congrats.” He greets coolly, making you roll your eyes. 

“You could be a little more enthusiastic.” You huff. Minho passed all of his requirements two weeks earlier than you, he’s really just hanging around campus at this point because he’s too lazy to pack his things. 

“I’m giving you a hug, then.” He says and this time you don’t stop him as he gives you a side hug. 

“Favoritism.” Hyunjin coughs under his breath, making you glare at him. He then changes the topic, glancing between you and Minho when you separate. “So are you two leaving already?” 

“Are you two done?” You ask back in answer, gesturing towards him and Minho. “What are you practicing, anyway?”

Minho shrugs, gesturing over to Hyunjin. “His recital piece still. We’re done already, though.” 

You contemplate on this for a moment. Checking the time on your phone, 11:08 AM, you ask, “Can I see before we go?” 

“Hug first.” Hyunjin teases, extending his arms out again. 

“Dude, I said you’re sweaty.” 

“Then you’ll have to wait until the recital.” Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at you, feigning annoyance. “I can’t with this favoritism.” 

“Then I won’t go to your recital.” You cross your arms, smirking triumphantly at knowing the younger boy’s weakness. “And it’s not favoritism, Minho actually bothers to bring and use towels during practicing.” 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “Favoritism.”

You and Minho only chuckle. The three of you then move to the center of the room, you moving to Minho’s laptop while Minho and Hyunjin prepare to dance. 

“So if we run through this choreography,” Hyunjin suddenly interrupts you from playing the music. “Does this mean I’m exempted from having to buy you an obligatory graduation gift on Sunday?” 

You shake your head. “No, you still need to buy me something.” Before Hyunjin could retort, you press play on Minho’s laptop, making him whine in complain while getting in position. 

Chan’s voice echoes around the room as the lively song picks up pace. You place Minho’s laptop on the floor next to you, pulling your knees closer to your chest as you watch the two dance in front of you. 

Whenever they have to move closer to you, Minho would send you a wink while Hyunjin only throws you exaggerated frowns and pouts. You roll your eyes at Minho and stick your tongue out at Hyunjin, teasing the two, but you can’t help but focus more on your best friend, unconsciously becoming dazed by his fluid movements. 

Having an attractive best friend who dances really well is too hard, you sigh to yourself when Minho catches you drifting over to him again, playfully biting his lip while winking at you this time. Your face scrunches up in fake disgust against the heat rising to your neck, to think I’ve put up with this for 7 years. 

Before you can even realize it, the song finishes, Hyunjin dramatically dropping on the floor while Minho approaches you, crouching down to his laptop and closing it. You clap at the performance, thanking Hyunjin for the ‘sneak peak’ of his performance then turning to Minho, “Okay, so lunch?” 

“Are you treating?” He looks at you with pure mischief in his eyes, making you slap his arm. 

“You didn’t even treat me when you passed your requirements.” You point out with a scoff which he only takes lightheartedly with a laugh. 

From your peripheral vision, you see a tired Hyunjin lift his head and turn to the two of you. “If you guys are just going to flirt, can you do it outside? I’m taking a break and I want to take it in peace.” 

“Do you want to have lunch with us, Hyunjin?” You ask, standing up from the floor while Minho leaves your side to change his shirt in the bathroom and gather his things. 

The younger boy shakes his head, laying his head down on the floor again. “Pass, I’m having lunch with Felix later.” Passing by his limp body on the floor, he sends a smirk your way, as if he suddenly thought of something witty. “Go enjoy your date with your Minho.�� 

You roll your eyes at this, kicking his knees to which he reacts with another dramatic whine. “Don’t be so fucking loud.” 

“But it’s true!” 

“He might hear.” You complain, eyes then widening at seeing Minho come out of the bathroom wearing a new shirt. “I hate you.” 

Hyunjin sees Minho as well from his peripheral vision, snickering. “Whatever, have fun at your not a date lunch, then.” 

“Oh? Hyunjin you’re not coming with us?” Minho asks, walking over to you with his backpack and laptop. Hyunjin then quickly explains his lunch plans before shooing the two of you out. “Okay, then, see you tomorrow.” 

You bid Hyunjin goodbye as well, narrowing your eyes and sending him a pointed look as well when Minho’s not looking. When Hyunjin shoos the two of you again with his hands, only then do you and Minho leave, his hand grabbing yours as you walk out. 

“You seem very mentor-y now.” You comment as the two of you walk outside the building, swaying your hands in between the two of you. “Like those alums who visit occasionally and help the undergrads or something.” 

Minho playfully rolls his eyes at you. “It’s not like we’ve officially graduated already. Just call me old and go.” 

“I didn’t say that, you did, so you do you, I guess.” You snicker before changing the topic. “Where do you want to eat, by the way?”

"There’s a cafe across the street.” He points out for you. “Apparently, it’s new.” 

And so, the two of you settle for the cafe across the Performing Arts building, miraculously finding an empty table by the window. Minho sits closely next to you on the cushioned seats while sipping on his Americano, extremely touchy now that it’s only the two of you. You rearrange your schedule on your phone in an attempt to ignore the way your heart beats just a little bit faster at Minho’s shoulder brushing against yours while he tilts his head to your side, peering over your phone. 

“Can’t you really come with me and Chan tonight?” You ask him with a frown after looking over your schedule. He looks up at you from this, his face mere inches from yours and making you lean back instinctively. “It’s D-3 to graduation so it’s free food and drinks from the auntie who owns the grill tonight.”  

He bites on his straw, leaning away from you as he answers with a frown. “I can’t cancel helping Felix tonight since he’s only free after 4 PM.” At that, the food then arrives. The two of you thank the waiter before Minho continues, “Can’t you two reschedule to tomorrow night?”

The two of you then busy yourself with sorting through your meals with Minho trying to take your plates to his side and you swatting his hand in response. While doing this, you answer his question, “We’re picking up your suit tomorrow, that’s too much work for me already.” 

“What about the day after?” 

“That’s the pre-grad party.” 

“Well, you’ll be drinking with 1 less drinking buddy tonight, then.” Minho concludes with a pout. “We’re running through Felix’s entire choreo later.” 

You boo him while mixing your pesto which he returns with a glare. “It’s our last drinking party as students and you can’t even come.” 

“It’s not like we don’t have the summer.” He points out. “And the rest of our lives? Hello? We’re not going to be college students this summer anymore?” 

“Minho, you’re leaving for Japan in a month, Chan goes home to Australia after Hyunjin and Felix’s recital, and I start working in 2 weeks.” You correct him. “Come on, I need my two best friends! It’s been a whole semester since we last drank together.” You glance over at him as you eat your pesto, finding him chewing on his chicken slowly in thought. 

When he feels your gaze burning through his skull as the two of you eat, he looks up at you and sighs. “Fine, I’ll try catching up later.” 

You grin triumphantly. “As long as you get there by 9 PM.” You take another forkful of your pesto, feeling lighter now that you get to drink with your two best friends as college students one last time before graduating. “I’ll order you your favorites.”

“You better reserve me at least 3 bottles of peach soju...and all the good samgyeopsal!” 

“You know I got you.” 

- 

You meet up with Chan at your favorite grill later that night, receiving various congratulations from the staff who’ve kept you mentally sane with their samgyeopsal and generous supply of soju in your 4 years as college students as the two of you find your favorite table and order your usual. The auntie who owns the grill, Mrs. Yang, asks about Minho when she spotted you and Chan and you quickly explain to her that he might arrive late since he’s helping Felix with his own recital piece. 

“You know, since it’s just us for now,” Chan says while pouring himself a drink an hour and a half into your two-person drinking party. “It kinda looks like we’re on a disastrous date and that you’ll escape through the bathroom anytime now unlike when we’re complete and we actually look like struggling college students.” 

You drink straight from your bottle of grape soju, giggling while pointing out, “Chan, you just indirectly called yourself a shitty date.” 

“I did? I meant to say we look awkward but whatever.” He then eats another lettuce wrap, chewing quickly to continue the conversation. “When is Minho coming anyway?” 

You check your the time on your own despite your blurring vision, 9:10 PM. “I told him to get here by 9 when we ate lunch but knowing him, he’ll probably struggle booking an Uber again.” You then put your phone back down on the table, careful of the small spills you and Chan made from toasting a while back. “I swear, he relies too much on me driving him around.” 

Chan nods in acknowledgement, drinking another shot of soju. “So we have a little bit of 30 minutes,” He then takes out his phone from his pocket, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You mutter a quick ‘gross’ at him but he continues speaking anyway. “Just enough time to play a round of Magic 8 Spotify.” 

You groan, covering your face with your hand in a mix of embarrassment and disappointment in Chan. “Bang Chan, I swear to God, stop making ‘Magic 8 Spotify’ happen.” 

Chan only sticks his tongue out at you, not even bothering to spare you a glance as he looks through his playlist while drinking. “It’s my drinking game, stop attacking its name.” He deadpans even though you’ve been telling him the same comment for 4 years now. “Now, think of a question and it better be interesting.”  

You contemplate on this for a moment, deciding to humor Chan since you’re starting to run out of things to talk about. “For my question...since this is our last college drinking party, how about the same question from 4 years ago?” 

"Seriously? Lame.” Chan comments but scrolls through his playlist with his eyes closed anyway. You scoff, leaning on the table in anticipation. 

-

4 years ago

“Okay,” A tipsy Chan sitting right across from you takes out his phone from his jean pocket, opening to his Spotify account. It’s your first drinking party and the birthday celebrant, Minho, sleeps right next to you, having passed out after his 8th bottle. “Y/N, you ask a question then we let my playlist answer.” 

“What?” You scoff over your shot glass of soju. “That sounds stupid.” 

The older boy only rolls his eyes, uncharacteristically sassy when he’s drunk. “Just roll with it and ask a question, it’s getting boring with just you and me drinking quietly.” 

“Okay, fine, fine!” You pause for a moment, contemplating on a question while holding your shot glass to your forehead. While contemplating, your eyes naturally turn to Minho with his face hidden in his crossed arms on the table. “Will I...will we—hik! Sorry—will I ever get the courage to confess to my best friend Lee Minho before graduation?” 

Chan almost spat his soju at you in surprise, luckily managing to hold himself back from doing so at realizing that he’s holding his phone. “Okay? I’ll shuffle now.”

“You’re judging me.” Simultaneously, you narrow your eyes at him skeptically with a huff, leaning back against the uncomfortable metal chairs of the restaurant.  

“I’m not!” Chan defends himself while scrolling through his Spotify playlist with his eyes closed. You think that he’s taking too long and that he should’ve just pressed the shuffle button. “It’s...a bit surprising, sure, but it’s kinda expected too, I guess.”

Fools by Troye Sivan then begins playing from Chan’s phone, making the two of you laugh in response. 

“What the fuck?” You comment in disbelief. “I hate you.”

“Hate the playlist not the owner.” He holds his hands up in the air briefly with a chuckle. Putting them down, he then leans to the table. “So, the birthday boy, huh?”  

You nod through your drink. Since Chan hasn’t known you and Minho for that long at the time, he then asks, “How long now?” 

“Only three years.” Internally, you wonder why you’re spilling your heart out to someone you’ve just met this semester as you speak. Chan seems trustworthy, though, so your drunken self continues anyway. “But we’ve been best friends for four years now.” 

“So why do you have to ask if you get to confess? It’s not like you’re not close or something—just do it if you want.”

“Yes, but, you have to know, Chan, that Minho’s the most difficult person.” You state matter-of-factly with a few stumbles in your words now, the alcohol kicking in. “Sometimes, he can be really affectionate, possessive at times even, but then when there’s a lot of people around, he’s so distant...like a walking pile of mixed signals!” 

Chan nods along. When he doesn’t speak, you continue. “And then there’s also the ‘I don’t want to risk our friendship’ bullshit, of course.” You shrug. “Minho’s too much of a keeper as a best friend for me...which is another problem because I don’t know if I’m just overthinking my feelings for him as a best friend or if they’re already enough to consider a crush.” 

“So you’ll just hold this crush in forever?” Chan chuckles lightheartedly, no malice anywhere in his tone. 

At this, you contemplate once again. It takes you a whole minute to answer, “Of course not. I want to fall in love and get reciprocated too, you know, whether it’s him or not.” You then take another shot. “It’s just that, I’m too preoccupied with him at the moment to think of someone else.”

“Until when then?” At this, you send him a questioning look so he continues, “Until when are you holding onto this crush. Realistically, you can’t be in an unsure crush forever.” 

“Until graduation?” You raise an eyebrow, as if asking for Chan’s approval. “A lot can happen then. If future me doesn’t gather the balls to confess until graduation rites then I’ll just give it up altogether. It’d be too long by then, anyway.”

“Wow, such assurance to graduate on time.” Chan jokes to lighten the situation, making you reach over to him and smack him on the shoulder. 

-

This time, Letting Go by Day6 plays, inciting the same reactions from you and Chan at hearing the lyrics. “I’m telling you, this game is very accurate when it’s my playlist.” Chan comments as you let the song play on at a reasonable volume. He puts his phone down, pouring you soju this time. “It’s been 4 years and future Y/N is now present Y/N who still hasn’t confessed yet.”

“What if I plan to within the remaining 2 days?” You challenge, only to receive a disagreeing shake of the head from Chan.

“Psh, you can’t even say no to him asking you to drive him somewhere even when you’re really busy.” 

You groan. You hate it when Chan’s right. 

“So,” Chan continues. “It’s 3 days to graduation. Will you just let it pass by then drop your crush on Minho after graduation or what? What’s the plan?”

You shrug reluctantly, chewing on your lettuce wrap miserably. “I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve been thinking about that thing from 4 years ago the entire time." You look down on your fidgety hands under the table, suddenly finding them interesting. “I mean, a lot has happened but I still feel so unsure...like I don’t know if he feels the same or even entertains the idea of trying with me...”

“We’re going our separate ways after graduation too.” You continue. “Whether something good or bad comes out of confessing or keeping my feelings, can I keep up with him being in Japan? And there’s work too...I don’t know.” 

“Then, don’t think too much about it.” Chan shrugs nonchalantly. “Confess in your own time if you want or keep it to yourself until it goes away even after graduation, it’s alright either way. Maybe you’re just thinking too much into that deadline you made when you were drunk.”

“But don’t you think this crush has been long overdue?” You finally speak out the thought that has been bothering you since it was brought up. “It’s been 7 years. Do you think that’s too long already?”  

“You tell me.” Chan concludes just as you finally reach the dormitory building. “I can’t judge your feelings, they’re yours, after all.”

You think of something else to say but before you can continue the conversation, the seat next to you is pulled back and when you look to your left, Minho greets you and Chan with a tired smile. “What did I miss?” He pats your head again, just like when you met this afternoon, before taking a seat. 

Chan gives you a look before turning to Minho, waving his phone. “We’re playing Magic 8 Spotify. Ask a question, Minho.”

Minho unknowingly mimics your reaction to the name as he takes an unopened bottle of peach soju in his hands. “Chan, the game seriously needs a better name.” 

“You know, you two are my greatest haters.” Chan narrows his eyes at the two of you. “But since I’m nice and this drinking party’s free, I’m letting it slide.” 

Minho chuckles. “So, it’s my turn now, right?” He pauses for a moment, as if thinking of a question. “How about...will we peacefully graduate on Sunday? Humor me, ‘Magic 8 Spotify,’ even though your name is weird.” 

Chan scoffs, closing his eyes and scrolling through his playlist anyway. 

You drink a glass of water this time. “Why the question? Are you expecting something on Sunday or....something?” 

You turn to Minho, receiving a casual shrug from him. “I don’t know. Those things happen though.” 

Chan snickers at this, finally choosing a random song. Sweet Disposition by the Temper Trap begins to play, making Minho chuckle in amusement. 

“Sounds ominous.” He comments, Chan nodding along as he puts his phone down, letting the music play. 

At the back of your head, you definitely think it’s like some sort of sign, even more so when you catch Chan looking at you with a knowing glint in his eyes. 

“Anyway it’s a good song,” Chan continues, raising his shot glass. “definitely deserves a toast.” 

d-2 until graduation

You wake up later than usual the next day, a migraine threatening the back of your head but not too serious enough to make you worried. Checking the time on your phone, 10:20 AM, you groan in frustration and cover your face with your blanket just as you hear your door open followed by the familiar pattern of Minho’s footsteps. 

“Rise and shine, we’re going to the tailor’s!” Your loud best friend announces his presence as he enters your room, proceeding to stand over your bed and yanking the covers off of you. 

How he’s not having a hangover worse than yours when he drank two bottles more than you, you can’t fathom. 

You groan in annoyance but sit up slowly anyway, gently shoving him out of the way as you get out of bed. “Yes, now stop being so loud, I’m gonna get a migraine because of you.” Minho steps to the sit obediently, proceeding to fold your blanket. 

You take out a striped shirt and ripped jeans from your closet, heading in the bathroom to take a quick shower. “So do we have to spend the whole day at the mall?” You ask while brushing your teeth, voice a little louder since you locked the bathroom door. 

Outside, Minho lays down on your now made bed, scrolling through his phone again. “Yeah, if you’re not busy. We can eat lunch after or something.” 

You roll your eyes. “The audacity.” You finish brushing your teeth now. “Plus, you just need my car.” 

Without even stopping from scrolling through his Instagram feed, Minho yells back, “I need you and your car, there’s a difference.” 

Your heart does a flip but your scoff in disbelief. Nevertheless, you proceed to take a shower, thinking to yourself, how the fuck do I expect myself to graduate by Sunday like this?

- 

At the tailor’s shop two hours later, you sit on the lone metal bench right outside the fitting rooms, scrolling through your Instagram. Minho busies himself on the other side of the thin wall, trying on his tailored suit inside the stall nearest to the exit where you are.

A clerk also stands right across from you, examining her nails, in case Minho, her only customer, needs help.

“Y/N?” Your best friend suddenly calls, garnering yours and the clerk’s attention. “Can you come in here?”

Your face grows red but, slyly taking a glance at the clerk, you see that she doesn’t care. Putting your phone back in your backpack, you reluctantly walk inside the fitting room hall, easily spotting Minho by his head that pops out the semi-open door.

“Why—“ Before you can even finish your sentence, however, he quickly pulls you inside once you’re at a close distance, closing the door behind you. “Ya!”

Once he’s standing right in front of you, only then do you realize that he’s wearing his a crisp white dress shirt and black trousers with a black suit jacket and a loose plain red necktie around his neck.

Though his expression is confident, you really do think he’s the most handsome in a suit. 

“What’s the problem?” You ask despite the rising heat from your neck and an idea in your head of what could be the answer.

When Minho went as your plus one to your cousin’s wedding two years ago, he wore a bow tie because he couldn’t tie his own necktie.

And as if hearing your thoughts, he does gesture to the tie around his neck. “Tie.”

So this is what he meant by he needs me a while back. You sigh in exasperation, taking a step closer to him and taking hold of the necktie. “What would you do without me after graduation, hm? What if you need to go to a black-tie event in Japan?” You scold, carefully and slowly doing the tie for him so he can try and memorize the steps. 

“I’m just going to dance in Japan, not go on red carpets.” From your peripheral vision, you see Minho tilting his head away to look at you as you fix the placement of his tie around his dress shirt’s collar, a cheeky grin on his face. “If I needed you to tie my necktie, I’d video call with you.”

“And if I’m busy with work?” You ask, challenging your now erratic heartbeat (because of the proximity) by looking up at him after. “College’s not as flexible as work, you know.”

“You’re never busy enough to ignore me—college or work.” He shrugs confidently with a small teasing smile. “You love me too much.”

You scoff, finishing his necktie with a light pat to his chest. You’re too prideful to admit that he’s right. “There.” Your eyes then trail over to his suit jacket, a hand finding their way to the textile near the necktie you just finished. “So, this is it?”

“Yup. Like it?” He leans close to you and nudges you by the shoulder before posing with his suit. 

“I seriously don’t understand why you need to tailor suits when they all look the same.” 

“I look so handsome, though.”

You roll your eyes as Minho admires himself in the mirror. Though he can be cocky, you have to admit that it’s perfectly justified, though. Fucking good genes. “You’re lucky you have the frame of a model so even plain suits look good on you.” You end up musing nonchalantly at these. “Handsome idiot.” 

“I’m a model to you now?” He chuckles almost cockily, raising an eyebrow at you. “And I’m handsome?” 

You roll your eyes. “Me being nice is your graduation gift.” You tease. “Don’t get too used to it, it’s only until Sunday.”

Minho only chuckles in amusement. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.” He then turns his gaze to the full-length mirror, examining his suit one last time before loosening his tie and taking off his jacket. “So, do you want to stay in while I change?” For emphasis, he pretends to take off his shirt in front of you. 

You smack his arm, leaving immediately in a rush while he only laughs. 

- 

After you’ve checked out Minho’s suit, the two of you end up at a nearby McDonald’s for lunch, his suit hanging on the fast food’s exposed beam decor. It’s only then at lunch do you realize that you’re both wearing matching striped shirts.

“What do you want for your graduation present, by the way?” Minho asks next to you, taking one of your fries after, clearly unbothered that you look like a bunch of straight horizontal lines whenever he leans to your side.

You slap his hand once he’s eaten the stolen fry. “We’ve been friends for 8 years and you can’t think of a graduation present? Shame.”

“Y/N, when you’re exceptional at gift-giving, it eventually gets harder to top your own ideas.” He says while chewing on his straw and sipping Cola. “Work with me here.”

You roll your eyes, swallowing a bite of your burger first before answering. “I’m okay with anything, it’s not like a yearly holiday so I don’t really have anything in mind.”

Your best friend lets out an exasperated groan. “Seriously?! Come on, don’t tease me!”

“If you’re planning to shop behind my back while we’re here, I can just look with you.” You shrug. “Then, you can get my grad gift for you on Sunday.”

“Then it won’t be a gift anymore.” He points out, stealing another one of your fries.

“It’s whatever.” You shrug. “When have we ever thought too much about those things, anyway. I actually bought you toothpaste for Japan.”

“Really?”

“Of course not, you fool.”

Minho ended up buying you charms to hang up in your car, three cats that resemble his pets and a strawberry. 

“Do you think they do custom?” He asks, looking around as the two of you head to the cashier. 

“Why?” You look up at him, the charms in your hands. “These are cute as they are.” 

“I meant so I can get you one with my face.” He clarifies laughs. 

You only roll your eyes. “I already have enough pictures of you in my car.” You retort, remembering your accumulating collection of polaroid photos in your glove compartment. 

“Oh, right. Should we frame some of those later?” He asks. When you reach the counter, he takes the charms from your hands and gives them to the cashier lady before paying. 

After a brief moment of considering the idea, you nod with a hum. “It’s about time I do something about them anyway.” 

At that, the two of you then sit longer at the mall’s parking lot later after shopping, rummaging through your glove compartment for pictures to hang on your rear view mirror. You hold half of the pile on your lap while Minho displays his half on the dashboard. 

While sorting through your photos, it fully dawns on you how long 8 years has been. It’s too fucking long, you realize as you find photos in polaroid and developed film that you never even thought would still be in your car. 

“Ignore the high school photos from 8 years ago, please.” You remind him, physically cringing. “They’re too embarrassing.”

“Like this one?” He holds up a developed photo from your high school graduation where he bought you a bouquet of sunflowers. You snatch it from his hands at seeing your braces then, cheeks flushed. “Why? You looked cute with braces.” 

You place the photo on your end of the dashboard. “I looked really weird then.” He shakes his head in disagreement but you insist, “No high school photos for my car.” 

“What about this one, then?” He holds a photo of the two of you at Lotte World from your first semester break, wearing colorful headbands and holding cotton candy to your faces. “This was, what, during our first semester break?” 

“Yeah, Jisung took that one.” You add. “Then after taking the picture, we spotted Felix and Changbin on a date of their own.” 

You continue rummaging through your own pile, eventually finding one of your favorites. “I like this one.” You show the photo to him, a badly taken photo of the two of you dancing in Itaewon on Christmas. “You were so drunk this time you were grinding on Jisung and Felix.” 

Minho reacts with a face of disapproval. “Clearly. What will your future dates say when they get in your car then see me looking like that?” 

You roll your eyes, though the question he so casually asked makes you feel iffy. So, you continue looking. “Oh, this one’s pretty.” You show him your next pick, of the two of you when you went on a summer trip to Busan. “This was at Haeundae Beach when they had a summer music festival.” 

Minho smiles, admiring the photo longer than the others. Though the quality is a bit bad since it was taken at night and the only sources of light at the beach then were the fairy lights and the bonfires, it’s a stolen photo of the two of you with Minho’s arm around you and one of your hands pinching his cheek. “If you’re going to hang this up, I get this one,” He then shows a photo of the two of you from when Minho won his first dance competition in the summer before your second year, confetti on your hair and a trophy in Minho’s hands. “the Lotte World pic, and our photo from your cousin’s wedding.”

“Are you taking them to Japan?” You ask, putting your Haeundae picture and Minho’s embarrassing drinking picture aside. You eventually find the picture from your cousin’s wedding, the one where the two of you stole the bouquet to have a pictorial at the old gazebo the reception’s venue had and ended up babysitting your nieces and nephews for the rest of the night as punishment. “If you’re taking them with you, you should take more. There’s some pictures with Chan and the others there too.” 

He nods. “I’m putting the wedding picture on my phone so when people ask me who you are, I can proudly boast that it’s my best friend and that they’re a rising filmmaker back at home.” He glances over to you, catching you smiling giddily. “Sounds good?” 

You return his gaze, holding back a sudden urge to cry. “...I’m still hanging up your drunk photo.” You stammer with a laugh, putting your hand over said picture when Minho tries to steal it from you. “It’s gold and it’s going in my car, let me have this one!” 

“Y/N!” 

You swat his hand away with your other hand, taking a photo from the dashboard, “To compensate, I’ll also put up our recent photo from Namsan so it cancels out your drunk face.” 

d-1 until graduation

The next night, you somehow end up at Jaehyun’s graduates-only party (you’re too drunk at this point to remember who drove but the car outside Jaehyun’s house is definitely not yours), drinking in the last empty guest bathroom with Chan and Minho. Jaehyun said there would be a countdown later (which you think is just too much since it’s not exactly New Year or Christmas) but it’s already 11:35 PM and the party seems to be heading in all directions but organized. 

You feel the music’s bass booming on the tiled floor even when you move to sitting on the bath tub opposite Minho who’s resting after an extensive game of beer pong against Bam Bam in the living room. Chan is the least drunk out of the three of you, sitting right next to the bath tub and munching on candies with a bottle of water. 

“Can I have some of that?” You stumble over your words tiredly as you turn to Chan, pointing to the candies scattered next to your empty liquor bottles. “What are those?” 

“Mint candies.” He passes you one before popping another in his mouth. “They’re clean, they’re from the freezer.” 

You feel Minho shift across from you, leaning over to you and asking for candies as well. Chan obliges, passing him two. “This party’s a bit...” He trails off as he sits back on his end of the bath tub again. 

Even when he doesn’t finish his sentence, you nod in agreement nevertheless. “I saw Mingyu literally hanging on a tree on the way here.” You fumble with the candy’s wrapper, only to have Minho take the candy from you and open it for you. You mumble a ‘thanks’ before eating the candy. “I’m pretty sure Yeeun and Dahyun already left too; Dahyun just sent me a goodnight message.” 

“Oh shit,” Chan curses under his breath. Suddenly, he’s standing up and fixing his ruffled clothes. “I totally forgot that I’m supposed to look for Hansol.”

“Hm? What for?” You watch Chan bid the two of you a quick goodnight before gathering his things and heading out the door. 

“Mixtape project!” He answers hurriedly before running outside, closing the door behind him and leaving you in the silence. 

Once Chan’s gone, you turn to Minho, propping your elbow on the side of the toilet and resting the side of your face to your hand. “Should we go now too?” You yawn, covering your mouth with your other hand. 

Minho checks the time on his phone. It’s 11:40 PM now. “I’m too tired to get up.” 

“Me too.” You frown, picking up your phone from the floor. When you open your phone, you immediately get a message from Chan. 

chan: 20 minutes to d-day ;)

chan: no pressure just letting u know [sent 11:41 PM]

You sigh. Now that it’s brought up again, you suddenly feel nervous, thoughts swarming in your head, mostly debating on actually confessing to Minho. It’s not like I can’t do it after this or graduation, you mentally debate, but there’s his 1 year stay in Japan...fuck what do I do?

In your mental dilemma, you steal another glance at Minho as he picks up the candies Chan left on the floor, his torso accidentally brushing against your legs when he leans on your side. The gesture makes you even more nervous and pressured at doing something. 

Now’s the perfect time, a voice in your head (ironically resembling Chan) tells you, one last surprise for the road. 

Minho definitely catches you looking before you can even brush your thoughts away, freezing in his position and looking at you with an expectant smirk. “What?” Your eyes widen at his sudden question, looking up at him as he kneels in front of you now. 

“N-Nothing.” You shake your head, leaning back on the end of the bathtub. 

But Minho doesn’t budge, opting instead to sit directly in front of you and poking the back of your phone, right on a picture of the two of you from one of your trips to the Han river placed carefully at the center of your clear case. “Who texted you?”

“Just Chan.” You close your phone, putting it back in your pocket. “He just said there’s 20 minutes until midnight.” 

“Why?” Minho prods on, his hand moving to poke your knee now. “Are you guys planning to count down with the others downstairs?”

“No...”You trail off, quickly contemplating in your head on what to say now. It’s silent for a while until you speak up again, “Actually...” 

Minho looks at you expectantly, his sleepy eyes going as wide as they can now while he leans forward to listen to you. 

You decide, fuck it, and take a deep breath. “I love you.” He blinks twice, eyes wide in surprise now, but doesn’t speak over you when your tone clearly sounded as if you wanted to say more. “I’ve loved you for 7 years now...since you broke the curfew rules and sneaked out to the convenience store with me during our junior field trip. I liked you even when you bought the wrong flowers for prom so you bought me my favorite sunflowers on graduation. 

“I loved you even when you would ditch me when you were dating that snotty girl from Accountancy...during all of our sightseeing trips around Seoul and summer trips to beaches in the south because this is our first time living on our own, riding bicycles at Han river, always driving you around Seoul because you don’t want to get your license...even when you’re so weird and flirty with any breathing human you pass by...I’ve loved you all this time..” You ramble on, slow as your mouth tries to keep up with your thoughts going at miles a second and chuckling awkwardly every now and then. “And I know it’s really random, it’s just that, on your birthday 4 years ago, when you fell asleep and it was just Chan and I bored out of our minds, we talked about it and just saying it out loud for the first time then, I wasn’t so sure if I should tell you then—and I’m still not sure now for a lot of reasons but honestly, fuck it, it’s been long overdue anyway and we’re graduating. I just want to get it out of my chest.”

You’re breathless at the end of your speech, hands fidgety as Minho’s expression softens at your words. 

Then suddenly, he’s kneeling in front of you again, leaning towards you slowly for a kiss. 

Outside the bathroom, you hear the remaining guests in the house cheer as the clock turns midnight. 

d-day

Minho pushes your knees down so your legs lay flat on the bath tub, giving him more space to move closer to you, hands settling onto your cheeks after. He kisses you gently and slowly, almost as if he’s afraid to push you after an emotional spiel, but with a surprising hint of eagerness, as if he’s been holding something back too. 

You kiss him back almost reluctantly, your hands settling on gathering his loose shirt on your fists. Your head feels light and your heartbeat is so fast but your eyes feel heavy with a stinging feeling, a bittersweet feeling pooling in your stomach. 

At that moment, you already knew the answer to the question you asked Chan the other day. When Minho tilts his head and slowly parts your lips with his tongue, you gently push him away after a moment, breathless and mumbling apologies under your breath. 

“It’s okay.” He strokes your cheek affectionately with his thumb when you turn your gaze away. “Are you okay?” 

You nod, the feeling in your stomach suddenly becoming heavier. “It’s just that...it feels too...”

Minho nods, moving to sit back in front of you again. He wears an expression you can’t read once again, making you feel even more confused and helpless in your situation.  

You run your fingers through your hair, not even realizing the way your nails have started to dig in your palms now. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay...” He repeats. “I’m sorry too.” 

You look at him once again, the boy you’ve loved for 7 years. “Don’t be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong...”

Somehow, it just feels too late already. 

After a moment of silence with Minho looking away from you respectfully as you collect yourself, you move forward this time, wrapping your arms around his torso in a hug. Minho hugs you back instinctively, rubbing his hand up and down comfortingly on your back as he tilts his cheek to the crown of your head. 

- 

You’re lucky your graduation is in the afternoon, allowing you time to cry early in the morning when you arrived, take a well-deserved nap, and cover your tear-stained face perfectly with make-up. 

When you arrived at the venue, greeting your parents and Minho’s parents who traveled to see you as well as receiving and exchanging grad gifts with your friends, you felt a little refreshed after the events of last night. 

“So, what happened when I left you two?” Chan asks you when you meet at the lobby. He gave you a a small bouquet of roses while you give him tickets to a Day6 concert dated before he leaves for Australia. “Not that I was expecting, just curious.” 

“Well, I told him.” You answer plainly. “I’d just leave it at that, if that’s okay.” 

From behind you, Chan sees Minho coming your way. He then smiles reassuringly at you, “It’s okay. I think he wants to talk to you, though.” He then gestures behind you. 

When you turn around, you see Minho, his toga draped over one arm and a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands.

Though it’s your second time seeing him in the suit, he still looks so handsome. 

“I’ll leave you two to it.” Chan says, giving you a reassuring pat on your shoulder before heading over to your other friends. 

Minho stops right in front of you, his free hand awkwardly rubbing the nape of his neck as he hands you the bouquet in his other hand. “For you.”

“You didn’t have to, you bought me something already.” You take it anyway, exchanging the bouquet with your grad gift for him. “It’s the ring you wanted to buy. They restocked when I picked them out last month.” 

Minho smiles at you gratefully, excitedly shaking the small box. “The gold one?”

You nod, remembering the small sunflower engravings that made him really like the ring at the mall. “Yeah, that one.” You confirm, putting your bouquets over your mouth as you feel heat rise up on your cheeks. 

A moment of silence passes between the two of you, Minho clearly putting a lot of thought into what he wants to say next by the way his expression scrunches up into concentration. 

“Y/N?” He calls your name after a while. You look up at him immediately in response. “We’re okay, right?” 

You nod with a hum. “We’re okay.” You lower the bouquet now, feeling as if all of your nervous feelings have been lifted off of your shoulders. “We’re graduating...I’m graduating.” 

Minho agrees to this with a nod, his smile growing into a relieved grin now. “Yeah...we’re graduating.” 

[glassesandkim]

ok so anon sent me a rant that i asked for and I want to answer it but under a cut so we don’t have to spam the dash. 

Click under the read more if you want to read me and anon’s rant on grey’s anatomy s17 finale

anon said: “Magston... what the hell lmao. They literally had a whole plot in 1716 about postponing their wedding so they could do it right (with family) and then winston was getting all mad about it and thought maggie was backing out (even though its a pandemic and theyve only been engaged for like what? 3 months tops). Then they flew their older parent/grandparent out (in the middle of a pandemic and severely affects old people), only to have them object to the wedding at the ceremony and then they postpone anyways???? What???? They couldnt have done that over the phone lmao like I liked the idea of magston a lot in s16 but their arc this season made me hate them so much lol. Sometimes I think theyre less developed than schmico (like which writer decided to marry them this season ????? Fireable offence imo considering they have no previous relationship history Im pretty sure and Im pretty sure they were only dating/engaged for like a year???? Even if the show was ending a moving in together/dating/engagment endgame would have worked for them? Anyways).”

First of all: what the fuck is grey’s obsession with marriage?????

It might just be me, but take it from someone who worked in the wedding industry for 3 years, and lemme tell you: weddings are fun, beautiful, amazing, but they’re also hella for the privileged. YOU KNOW IT CAN COST UP TO $700 CAD TO HIRE AN OFFICIANT??? So the job Richard had? He could’ve made an easy few hundies. 

I really hate how fucking fake and badly acted that scene was when Maggie’s dad and Winston’s grandma objected to the marriage. Why did they wait until then and EMBARRASS both of them???? Like you said, what the hell was the point of last episode’s whole debacle???? They could’ve just not done that plot in ep 16 and had them get married anyway in ep 17 and had someone object to their marriage. 

Can’t believe Maggie flew two old people around the country during a goddamn pandemic. How irresponsible is it???? Again, I don’t know if it’s because they’re just way more relaxed in the states than where I’m from but wth....

anon said: Okay and then amelink. I LOVED how amelia was written this episode, but in the context of the time jump it was kind of weird? Like amelia was feeling this way about marriage/more kids for 8-9 months and never even hinted to link that she wasnt interested? And I like to think link respects amelia a lot, so why didnt he bring up marriage again before proposing? Or ask mer/maggie what they thought about him proposing? I can understand her not talking to link about her concerns but I find it hard to believe she didnt bring it up with mer/maggie once in that time frame? Idk it was just rushed and weird. And amelia clearly wasnt okay with the fostering thing and he still went with it anyways lol.

I can’t remember and I don’t care enough to go watch the ep, but did Amelia and Link move out of Mer’s house? 

The only good thing about this episode was Amelia, especially her conversation with Richard (in that not very Seattle courtyard rofl HONESTLY GREY’S PUT SOME EFFORT IN YOUR SETS. YOU KNOW YOUR ENTIRE SHOW IS SET IN SEATTLE RIGHT/???? LIKE MAKE IT RAIN IN THAT COURTYARD TO REFLECT HOW AMELIA FEELS IDK GAWD)

I also can’t believe Amelia would just be like, welp! I guess I’m a double mom now of my own child and this random crotch child that my baby daddy promised to his best friend. And oh ya, I don’t want anymore children but shhh its a secert.

I mean, I know Amelia technically fostered before but ............. (i’ll continue this in the next segment)

anon said: And the fostering thing... Jo’s plot was weird this ep too lmao. Like maybe Im just dumb but they never explained why she failed her background check? Idk this plot would have been a much better season long arc than a one episode arc lol. Although I think the single parent thing might be fun next season (the weird jo/levi friendship will be worth it if we get schmico babysitting)

They didn’t really explain why she failed her bg check. I also don’t know how money can fix her failed background check.

Also how fucking shady is it that Link and Amelia fostered a child? Wouldn’t the foster people want to give a child to a stable family who, let’s think, ARE MARRIED and HAVE A HOME OF THEIR OWN?

Who’s the dumbass in the writer’s room that thought of this ludicrous convenient solution for Jo? Only people with that much money and power can steal children. 

I really thought Jo’s fight for Luna should’ve started earlier and when it didn’t start, I thought it would bleed into next season. It’s not easy to adopt a child. 

anon said: Also is our last jackson appearance on this show really a random facetime with jo? Would have much rather had a face maggie to congratulate her on her marriage (why wasnt he there???) 

Maggie’s kind of his step sister or whatever the f they are. Jackson could’ve taken a break from solving racism to attend his family member’s wedding, right?

anon said: Okay and then the interns... we never actually saw mer teaching them? Im hoping that theres a bigger intern/resident focus next season because of mers new job but now Im not optimistic haha. And why are the residents and interns grouped together? And why was levi so involved with mer’s patient that he wasnt pulled from the wedding to help???????? Its a double lung transplant get the upper year resident in there PLEASE!!! Or at least let him take over the surgery when mer passed out. Cristina would have been doing this shit in her intern year. I assure you he would much rather be at the surgery than the wedding of someone he has never interacted with. And Surely that surgery would have been better if more than 2 surgeons were working on it?????? my ONLY hope is that the time jump means we’re getting helm and levi aged up to 5th years and we get some chief resident/specialization/boards plots for them next year.

i hate grey’s and their ridiculous time jumps and blatant disregard to HOW THIS WILL AFFECT THE CAREERS OF THEIR RESIDENTS. 

I bet, like Teddy’s child, Levi and Helm are gonna be residents for 10 years and never choose a speciality. I want to revoke grey’s rights to call themselves a medical drama. There’s nothing medical about this show.

JUST WATCH MER TOUCH A DIRTY ASS BASIN AND THEN TOUCH A WHOLE HUMAN LUNG WITH THE SAME HANDS

YOU KNOW HOW DIRTY THAT BASIN IS SITTING ON WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS SITTING ON??? GET A NURSE TO HOLD THE BASIN. YOUR HANDS ARE STERILE

(Okay, I’m also sure the basin would be sterile but I can’t. I can’t believe in real life, they’d have the same hands hold a basin and a human organ. Someone who’s a doctor or works in the OR, tell me if I’m right. I need to know. )

Also, Bailey taking off her mask when she’s hugging Mer after the surgery. Right TO JAIL!

anon said: And finally... not half of maggies wedding guests ditching the wedding to go stand in a hallway and clap for mer LMAO like they couldnt have done that the next day??? Like I said before, most of this episode was comedy lol.

it’s COVID. Why are people going into the hospital unnecessarily??????

Yes, but you’re right. I gotta watch these eps like it’s a comedy or I’ll LOSE MY FACKING MIND

anon said: Redeeming parts of this episode: merhayes still has potential, need them to stop having the same scene over and over again though. Nico ily and alex get that cheque for sitting there, dancing, and clapping for ellen. Jo selling her shares to koracick... lmao. Bokhee and the other nurse getting their vaccines :’)

LOL @ merhayes having the same interaction. I was telling some people that I’d love for Hayes and Owen to have some scenes and for Hayes to kick Owen’s ass. Because like @schmico-ing said, Owen is a child collector and Hayes would absolutely fucking hate him.

YES ALEX LANDI GETTIN’ THAT DOUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. What an amazing job. I hope he gets paid in the 6 figures for his time at grey’s.

I don’t know how I feel about Koracick. I love caring Koracick. I hate asshole Koracick. I feel like they’re two different people. 

BOHKEE <3

Anyways, love your rants. I look forward to them when s18 starts or even whenever you have the odd urge to rant!

[loxxxlay]

Can we get the rest of the ball destroying story?

This is a very long and probably anticlimactic story about how I destroyed an attorney's metaphorical balls by not letting him get away with being a toxic pile of shit. I hope you enjoy.

So, the first thing you need to know is that my old boss (whom I will call M) is a real fucking asshole. 1, he voted for trump; 2, he's a creep; 3, most obnoxiously, he treated his previous lead paralegal like a freaking wife.... or actually worse than a wife really... like an object. like a trophy wife. When the lead paralegal left, he basically treated her like she was divorcing him, as if she was an object of his possession. And he was like "you'll NEVER have it better than you have here, and i'll never let you come back." (Funny story: i am one of 5 paralegals there who put in their 2 week notice during June, and they were so panicked that they called this exact former lead paralegal and asked her to come back. -_-)

Okay so anyway, let's cut the story back to about 2 months ago. I have been M's lead paralegal for about 8 months now since the previous one left, and I'm hating it. I'm actively job hunting because M is becoming toxic to me the same way he was to the last paralegal. I needed references, so I asked another attorney who also worked there to be my reference. We will call him T. So T is my favorite attorney. T is the first person I came out to as having a girlfriend at the firm, and he never once betrayed me. He is everything that M is not. He gives positive feedback like he gives out candy, but he's also honest and real in a way that not a lot of ppl are.

So anyway I secretly ask him to be a reference on my resume, and T is like "sure! but well funnily enough, I'm actually leaving the firm in 2 weeks. I can't ethically recruit people while I'm here, so I'm going to end this conversation here, but.... wink wink, nudge nudge, call me in 2 weeks." So I'm like COOL COOL. And we don't speak of it again.

So 2 weeks pass, I continue job hunting, T leaves the firm. He calls me literally the next day, and he immediately is like "I wanna hire you" and I'm like "okay cool, I wanna be hired." So boom I got a new job. Ethically. (I'm serious though, T is a very ethical guy and he did nothing wrong.) So anyway, T is okay with me waiting until my NYU program in June is over, so my start date is July 1. 1 month from then. T also asks me very politely not to tell M where I'm going because it would sour their "friendship" (a.k.a. the attorney world in utah is a small world and he doesn't want M to get his feelings hurt). And I want to be clear, T did not pressure me at all - he asked for a favor, and I decided to do it for him, because I care about him, that's it. If at any point it became a burden for me, I would have changed my mind, and T would have understood.

So, I wait a week until I'm in New York to tell M i'm leaving him. I come up with a brilliant excuse for why I don't want to tell him where I'm going - "I have a few offers and I don't want to talk about it while I'm still deciding" (which wasn't even really a lie). So I call my boss and I tell him I'm putting in my two weeks. And he treats me like he always treats people - he interrogates me. Except this time, he's shocked and upset, so he SUPER interrogates me. It's super inappropriate questions like "why are you quitting???" and "is it because of money???" and "this is SUCH bad timing" - but it's frustrating because he's an attorney and he knows how to dress up these rude questions with politeness. In a way that if I call him out on it, I'll be the one who looks inappropriate. :( It sucked. But luckily I had spent 3 days researching how to approach this, and.... I gave him nothing. He was desperate for fuel to try to convince me to stay or guilt-trip me into working overtime, and I just didn't give him any because I was prepared, and also.... I'm good at this. My mom says I've been good at this since I was 3-years-old lol.

Anyway so unfortunately during the conversation, he asked the question "Where are you going?" and I immediately gave him my excuse. And I expected that to be done and over with. Idk why I thought it'd be that easy... He immediately started trying to guess where I was going. And at what point, he said "are you going to work for T????" and..... honestly guys... I panicked. I lied. I said, "uh, no." flat out lmao. Like, I was just so shocked that he was asking me in the first place. :( But weirdly, he believed me and that was that (or maybe he filed away the lie for later use as you'll see). I also want to make it clear here that I, at first, wasn't telling M where I was going because T had asked me to... but at this point, with how nosy and inappropriate M was asking, I didn't want to tell M anymore either. It wasn't for T that I was hiding it; it was for me. Like, no M, I don't want you to have any personal details. You're being 150% more of a creep than usual which is impressive considering.

Anyway so I never tell anyone where I'm going except 2 ppl whom I trust on my last day (and yes, one of them betrayed me, which kinda sucks D:). I told T that I had lied to M, and T was like "it's okay, if he finds out, I'll have ur back" and also... I told T I go by Echo instead of my legal name/dead name, so I'm fine with the lie because M will probably never find out anyway. and T was delighted and super supportive of my enby identity. ^_^ It's cute because he never called me by name, but now all of his texts and statements deliberately start out with my name as if to remind me that he supports it lol.

Anyway so flash forward to my new day at the job. It's going great. I love it there. And then I check my phone and I see this fucking text:

M: "I hear you work for T now. I wish you the best, but I specifically remember asking you if that's where you would be working, and you said no."

Like.... what the actual fuck? He never texts me, and also I've been gone from his firm for like a day.. max... have some chill, lmfao. like. At first, I was REALLY upset. Not in a "i feel bad for lying" kind of way. I couldn't care less about that. More in a "i feel like i'm being stalked, one of two close friends betrayed me, and also what the fuck, why are you texting me this??" #yikes. But then that night, I was talking to my dad about it. And I became super amused? Like. What is he going for here? What does he want me to say? What response does he hope that I'll give that will make him feel better? Does he want me to call him crying and begging for forgiveness and for my job back? Like? I genuinely sincerely want to know what the fuck he was expecting me to say. I want to understand what was going through his head lol.

And of course, because I am a passive aggressive bitch, I immediately catch on to the fact that he is Butthurt (shocking, I know). His feelings are hurt. An object of his, his very own lead paralegal, lied to him outright and he didn't see it coming! How dare she! He wants to make me feel hurt like he feels hurt, and he's a lawyer, he knows how to interrogate people and manipulate people and get them to suck his dick, idk. So he should be able to use those skills to make me feel bad for lying. He wants to one-up me. But see, what he didn't realize is that....

1, I don't feel guilty for lying to him... at all... like, it took me a couple hours to realize this, but the only negative emotion it made me feel was discomfort and fear. not guilt. the same way i feel when a strange man asks me for a hug, and i feel like refusing would look "rude." Like, there's nothing guilty about that. So yeah. His goal is to expose my guilt to make himself feel better, but... my guilt doesn't exist, so good luck

2, um, like I said earlier, I've been a passive aggressive bitch since the day I was born, unlike this bitch who had to go to college to learn how to do it, and not only that - I'm better at it than him. lmfao. His pride is gonna take a hit.

so I toy with the idea of ignoring him because I know that will really fuck him up and make him constantly think about it and check his texts to see if I've responded. But then T tells me that it's probably better to not burn a bridge because again.... super small world here.

So anyway lol, my response ends up being pretty simple but painstakingly constructed:

"Thank you! :) It wasn't an option at the time - it was a new development after you and I had already talked. I wish you the best as well."

The "Thank you! :)" to seem like I am utterly oblivious to the hidden accusation and passive aggressiveness. The middle sentence to be like "uh, are you really accusing me of lying right now?" and the last sentence, my favorite, to shut down the conversation forever. Now, if he responds, he already lost. Because there's no way to continue this conversation without exposing the fact that his "I wish you the best" was completely insincere. I've stripped away his ability to respond fake-politely (which is his modus operandi), and I've forced the last word on him.

Also, even better... (and no one has any way of proving this, least of all him, but) that statement (the "it wasn't an option at the time - it was a new development after you and i had already talked") is completely a lie on my part, and he knows it. T offered me the job the Monday after he left. There's no way he doesn't know that. So not only did I show obliviousness and not only did I shut the conversation down, I outright stonecold lied a second time. And there's no way for him to call me out on it. Like what could he even do? Send me a screenshot of my hire date? Send me a screenshot of an email I sent to a coworker? If he tries that, he's already lost again because like ... obviously super immature... it would be so easy to crush him with niceness like "Wow, I can tell this has really bothered you!" hahahhaha. Sadly he's smart enough not to do that, but it must be infuriating to know I'm lying and not be able to accuse me.

As an attorney whose literal job it is to catch & expose people lying, he literally watched me flat out lie to his face. Twice. And I didn't feel bad about it. And there was nothing he could do about it either time. He went to law school for this shit, and he still can't out-passive-aggressive me, the classic bitch.

Anyway so T apparently he showed his wife M's message, and she was like "oh my god what an asshole!!!" which I must admit was extremely validating!! And then he showed his wife my message, and she made a shocked face and said "wow she's good." And I always thought T was kinda just flattering me to be nice when he complimented my use of words in defusing angry clients and conveying info about a sensitive subject... but apparently his wife thinks so too, so I guess he's been more serious than I thought. I feel so.... complimented.... it's weird.... but I"m very happy and squeeing.

It's been like almost 24 hours and M has yet to respond to me, and if he does, he's already lost. I'll eviscerate him.

So like I know this story is probably disappointing and might not seem like I shanked his balls, but ... take my word for it because if u knew what a chaotic insecure pathetic mess he was and how he desperately claws for control by trying to intimidate and upset all of his employees (and pretty much always succeeds), then you'd understand that he's NEVER encountered something like this before. Someone literally just not giving a shit what he thinks about them. And from what I know of him, I promise you that this has certainly fucked him up for a good long while. And that makes me happy :')

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Witcher of the Night (Chapter 22)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

CHAPTER 21

WOTN MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Sorceress Ingrith might be going on far more ways to plan your early demise for you and your unborn child without the witcher around. The queen also thinking of plans to punish you without the use of drudging.

Warnings: Derogatory, plans attitude and words. Mention of the Witcher character named ‘Auckes’. 

Words: 5.6k

A/N: I’ve been feeling on and off with my mental state since last month. I just don’t tell anyone. Anyways, Feedbacks will be nice to receive. Thank you. I plan on writing two more last smuts for Witcher of the Night in the future chapters. So, watch out for that. I needed more of my Geralt fixation. LMAO. I’m sorry if my fic  is beginning to be boring for you, but I needed to write this for the sake of the story. I know I’m not the best writer out here. So, I’m sorry for any disappointments. Stay safe, Bb’s.

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE! Sorry for the grammatical errors and such because English isn’t my mother tongue! PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK AFTER READING, BB! I apologize for errors!

Disclaimer: PNG’s and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. Character development and personalities are based from my understanding and how I want them to be. I only own my original characters in this fanfic. Geralt GIF from the Tumblr account named (B-N-A-O)

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

It's been a day of hearing from Eanraig that your witcher has started his journey over the hunt for the lost witch.

Hours have also passed after hearing such devastating and surprising news from the druid about your unexpected 'cursed' pregnancy whose father was a witcher that is expected to actually be infertile. The happenings intentionally given by a genie you only knew and expected to watch and read through fairytales; Disney fairytales.

Sleep was hardly your partner last night. Thoughts coming over the idea of a maddened witcher and your pregnancy, having only minutes of light slumber that has gotten you waking up with every single thud you hear from outside your chambers. Thinking that it was someone who wanted to hurt you again especially that Geralt wasn't around for you to hide from behind.

The early knock received before sunrise has got you scrambling on your feet, latching off the locks of your door for the queen of Kaedwen to emerge from your doorstep with more than a trio of servants following her while she trespassed inside your chambers.

She stood before you in her silk, expensively designed, black night gown. With her head held up high and hair bedazzled before she even decided to pay you a visit in her usual lavish gowns.

"You are quite the woman. Also, your witcher is as well."

Queen Makeda interrogated, gaze raking all over the room to check any evidences of her necklace being thrown around. She huffed to herself when there was no traces of her enchanted, Cobalt amulet that has been stolen by your doppelganger.

"---Demanding for a soft bed for you to sleep on while he hunts for the witch who has cursed my son?"

"Not even my young daughter would approve of this," she spoke in animosity, spitting the words like how she truthfully felt, "---Your horrible kind," the latter continued, taking heedful steps forward as you've stood on your ground; firmly and never backing down.

The queen was undeniably taller than you. She'd peered down, glaring into your narrowed eyes fighting back for her attempt on intimidating you. After everything they've done, feeling scared was running through your veins. It was pumping wrath and distaste for how they've treated you like an animal for pointing fingers over the woman who has stolen her necklace---even asking such favors for Geralt when they knew how he acted towards you; using it to their advantage.

"---You and your witcher. It disgusts me,"

"Look who's talking, guess Geralt is the only way to save your cursed son then? But, you still manage to hate his kind when you're depending over him to save your prince,"

Out of the blue, you've felt fingers clasping around your throat. Her long nails sinking through your skin as her hold was tight, ceasing the air passing through your throat that has gotten you growling beneath her palm.

She intently given you a death look, bequeathing the opportunity of laying a hand on you without the witcher who has never left your side from the moment he arrived.

"Give me back my necklace. It was a gift by the king that I hold dearly,"

The bitch was barking when she had no evidence at all. You mindlessly thought in the back of your head whilst being choked at the same time.

"Your h-highness," you dryly coughed out the air she was trying to cut you off with. You've given her a menacing glare as well, your mouth in an obvious lour. Her hold shifting around your neck as she tried to shift your jaw out of its current position, making you tilt your head to give her a sharp, side-eye.

You can't help but bark out a mocking giggle, appearing to be sicko while being manhandled by your very own gender while a taunt left your fuming mouth.

"---what's your kind? I doubt your kind may be human,"

Queen Makeda scoffed after hearing that, pushing you to the ground which has left you heaving breaths and coughing out from the lack of it. Your fingers quickly grabbing onto your growing belly to protect whatever Eanraig believed there is to be inside of you. A child that he was cognizant of; slightly still leaving you in disbelief because of how you weren't seeing any changes at the image of your belly.

Until, you've realized that your period haven't visited you since the last week.

The realization had you staring at the ground you were currently sitting upon while the queen stood before you with all her might and certainty. Your instincts telling you to cease the in-denial for your pregnancy because it was the truth.

"You are awfully disrespectful. Just like your mutant."

At the mere acknowledgement of that towards your witcher, your longstanding antagonism for her has given you all the willpower of spitting on the ground she was standing on, tilting your head up at her from your seated position with utmost spite, glaring from below her in the greatest hostility you can ever give.

"You're not my queen. So I give you the least amount of my respect, Ma-ke-da. That's your name, right? Is there another word for Bitch here?---You're a bloody skank! Have I got the accent correct for everyone? Or should I continue my fake British accent? would you like it to be Scottish?"

Hushed gasps has been audibly heard from the queen's maids who stood aligned in vertical. Their posture slightly curved in a bow and never giving their gazes towards their majesty and had them glued to the ground. Howbeit, their hearing couldn't be helped as it was a natural instinct to listen despite of being ordered not to.

They've been disoriented from their prior poses, taking heed of how you've disrespect the queen who was reigning the whole kingdom. She reached out behind her, ushering over the court lady who was holding onto the used golden kirtle that seemed to be owned by a maiden who left the castle or has been punished to death.

In a cruel gesture, Queen Makeda has balled up the dress with her hands. Throwing them over your head that felt too impetuous and disfavourable because of how her servants felt the need to slyly giggle from the background.

"Womanly hands are needed in this palace," she brashly scoffed, tip-toeing over her tone like a taunt, playing over a prey she decided to amuse for the moment. You heedlessly yanked off the dress overthrown on your head and avoided their loathe-filled peepers who find your vulnerability entertaining their day.

The evil queen couldn't help but laugh beneath her breath, watching you bask in your own solitude and hopelessness---being a woman they believed as a thief or a girl with no name nor worth of living a happy and abounding life. A renegade in their kingdom that deserves the least amount of attention and respect.

It was probably your doppelganger's reality as she lives in Kaedwen; thriving in the most difficult way to live in their world---more desperate to stay alive more than you back in earth.

"I suggest you must help the maids as they serve us through night and day," she nonchalantly reiterated with a slip of her laughter every now and then. Her offhand way of talking resulting in giving her the most stony lour you could muster.

Queen Makeda spurned your woebegone with a simple simper, passing over the sepulchral spirit radiating off you. She'd turn her heels away, parading through your chambers with her servants following suit, but not forgetting to leave without a ridicule.

"Better than any corporal punishment. Am I right, tramp?"

Sundown came earlier than you've calculated. Being given the job of a scullery maid for this certain day has been backbreaking. You've scoured the dirtiest pots and plates with all your healing strength, straining your energy for the heck of it all because of how heavy their utensils and equipment can be. More than how the stuff in your workplace were much more lighter than ever. It wasn't a punishment you've expected from them considering how they've injured you in the flesh, taking Geralt's words accountable or was this just a hoax of their upcoming plans?

You knew that it won't be the only job given. Five days living in the castle has been a crestfallen experience that not any normal earthling could handle well.

Which has probably been also the reason why you were too stressed and angry with everyone and anyone including the father of your unborn child, raving in bluster for his slow-witted self in terms of one's feelings.

That was probably one of the disadvantages of being in love with a witcher. Geralt hardly receives love and care that he doesn't know how to distinguish it even for himself.

Laying on the cold surface of such mattress; back flat with aching muscles and healing wounds, one palm reached up to your slightly bilged stomach. The feeling of another human growing inside weren't obvious yet. Thinking that it was probably just because of the pastry they've fed you with which has gotten your stomach swelling.

"Are you really in there?" you quietly muttered to the ceiling, feeling your chest tighten from being all alone and dealing with what the witcher has said to you before he left. His words becoming an echo of your regret and sadness.

"---Or am I just bloated, Little princess?"

Soft caresses over your slightly curved skin has given you goosebumps all over your body. The act feeling too real for you to be talking to a baby that has probably never learn to kick yet. Simultaneously, a sigh left your mouth when you truly believed and hold on to Geralt's infertility tales when he has gotten you pregnant out of the blue.

Magic. Right. All of what was going on between you both was magic after all, even your growing child. He has been right after all.

"Am I really having a baby grow inside of me when I haven't expected this at all? your daddy probably has great swimmers---oh, wait. He should've been infertile." the train of thought has been ceased, your mouth curling in the opposite of a smile. Frowning being your constant expression the past few days with a round-the-clock dismal mood once you wake up and try to have a nap when you were hardly being given the chance to just like how your insomnia tries to eat you alive again.

It hasn't even visited you since before you've woken up from a different dimension. Insomnia has never been an issue when you've arrived in the continent. Perhaps, the witcher may be one of the reasons for your inner beasts to hide. Though, with the mist surrounding you both---it started to pay you a visit especially after experiencing physical and mental struggles through out your stay in the castle.

No matter how disappointed and angry you were with Geralt, he has still been your refuge from all the danger that his world can cause.

"Is this really happening? I'm going to be a mother now?" you went on in talking to no one in particular, caressing your stomach against the palm of your hand like how a mother would.

"---with the brooding witcher as your father?"

The mouth curled downward languidly pulled the strings to a solemn smile. Memories of Geralt and how he was finding you unappealing as each day passes was like a reality meant for you because even men in your world eventually leaves when you were showing them your humanly capabilities---the darker part of you that nobody can ever tolerate.

Even the witcher found you pathetic---a man from another world seeing what you actually were. Not an angel that all men believed you to be.

With a growing baby inside of you, it would be difficult to forget Geralt because of how he'd left a part of him inside of you and will eventually be born in a world you were fearful of.

When you said back in earth, that you wanted a child with Legolas. You didn't mean for it to happen in real life. Especially from a man who don't take children as a gift---something worth to be proud of as you remembered how Eanraig said that he would rather have his own child as a bait for monsters than to let him live in the continent.

Your heart was tightening further as you continued talking to your unborn offspring and into the brisk, solitary midnight with nothing but shadows to comfort your forlorn soul, "Your poppa' certainly won't accept you if he knows about your existence. Based on how we got into a fight over feelings we both don't understand." Pause.

"---If I shave his white head, will it be worth the revenge? You think he cares for his hair? Or maybe hide his witcher potions somewhere else where he would have a difficult time seeing it?"

You couldn't help but slightly giggle to yourself. The sound dethering and fading in the end from how forced it sounded; faking the happiness and trying to uplift your spirits by thinking that Geralt would still accept you in his life after tying him in a responsibility that he will surely detest.

"---I still can't help but think of him though. Especially after knowing you're growing inside of me now. I doubt he actually thinks of me more than I do,"

"Maybe the witcher might want to say that he loves you and that he is still on his witch hunt!"

Catching you off-guard, a squeaky, upbeat, childish voice resonated in your chambers. Hushed to the most quietest voice she could do, standing before the end of your bed was a curly haired child who was grinning amongst the shadows she tries to hide herself in. Her two front teeth sitting apart which has made her appear more adorable than ever. The features she had slowly coming to a point that it seemed to be familiar---like you've seen her face and heard her voice back in earth.

The child standing before you was a little demon known in your dimension. Delilah Cincinnati. A child who has always made your work more difficult than it can ever be---a nuisance who could always get you tripping when you were serving food for customers. You've had a nickname for her, Deli-the-menace that came from the character 'Dennis-the-menace' but this one was a little girl and her devilish grin suited her name.

But, her grin seemed to be different in this world. It was more sweet, utterly masking in pure innocence that made you sit your back on the headboard. Your fingers reaching below your pillows to grab onto the kitchen knife you've managed to sneak in because of how you didn't trust anyone in the castle---taking Geralt's advices seriously.

People would probably think you were crazy, but you've been thinking that this child in front of you would transform into an evil gnome and eat your unborn baby because she was hungry for flesh.

"Delilah?" your voice turned squeaky as well. Swallowing the nervousness back down the pit of your stomach, you crumpled your legs under your thighs, shifting away from the child when she dragged her feet upon the foot of the bed; crawling towards you with a smile.

She jumped the half of her body beside you, tucking her little legs under the bed sheets. The ends of it pulled by her tiny fingers and tucked under her chin whilst turning her whole body with a ceaseless smile.

"You're a silly lady! I'm no Delilah, miss witcheress."

The adorable child snuggled closer on your side, hiding behind your body as if she was sneaking from someone.

"Princess Corinthia of Kaedwen. You can call me 'Coco' instead. Just don't tell my mother!" she placed a finger in between her pursed lips, giggling behind as she thoroughly sneaked her miniscule body in between you and the headboard.

You've inhaled a deep breath before being cut-off by the princess and her mischievous warning, "Shh. The knights are searching for me!"

She pointed towards a large sized painted picture of the whole royal family hung over the stone walls, enclosing her mouth with her small palms while she whispered.

"---A secret door."

Princess Corinthia offered another giggle that has kept your mouth zipped because of how untrustful she still is to you. Though, you dropped the knife back under your pillows again when she seemed to be harmless than what you imagined her to be; a little devil or a tiny monster that she might be in the witcher's dimension.

"I am a curious child. I've been hearing the tales of a white haired beast slayer stepping foot in our fortress! The maids even said that he has brought a frog for him to protect and this frog is his bride as every single person in the palace has gossiped about. Are you the frog? Do you have a curse like my brother too?"

At the mention of that, the scowl suddenly became one prominent expression since the moment you arrived in the castle. Huffing out a breath of exasperation over what nickname you've gotten. The witcher's frog. It didn't sound too appealing for you and even for the child because she was giggling through it all.

"A frog?! Seriously?! They were calling me ugly. How rude of them," you stated as a matter of fact.

"Our maids are just probably thirsty whores who may want your witcha'!" your eyes grew from the profanity that left her mouth. A single, plain warning of a look has been given to the child.

"That's a bad word."

The castle princess ignored your upbraid, palms covering her mouth with her eyes turning into big saucers that looked like to be as if she was guilty over saying such blasphemy.

"---because of the epic that his humble bard has created, many have been less frightened over their kind. Though, some are quite suspicious and still looking at them in disgust just like how most of our servants are. Is he handsome? they were chattering about him last supper in the kitchen! Also, they've talked about how they have seen how he didn't think twice to point his sword at any of our men---Chivalry at its finest from a butcher as said by them,"

From the way she has mentioned it came with astonishment over the witcher's valiant and chivalrous actions. Your mind in a blurry mess when you have seen him the first time---being brought to a room where Geralt has reacted in an aggressive way towards everyone in the room that not even a king can scare him away when you were a bleeding mess shoved on the floors. Your heart constantly being poked by a knife after realizing that a fight came after his magnanimity, the other side of you thinking that he has done it out of affection and care. Expecting it to be more than just how a sentiment is towards a friend because you've been seeing him more than just your confidante.

Was this how friends with benefits is in their world?

You couldn't help the crinkles on the side of your eyes. A small, close mouthed smile warping your face at the thought of the witcher you were highly proud of deep inside.

"He is quite dashing, brooding and utterly like a knight in shining armor, don't you think?"

"I may want to have a husband like him in the future!"

"I doubt you could," you simply testified, remembering that princesses in the medieval era are forbidden to marry a commoner. More so, for a witcher whom everyone repels towards their kind.

"---A princess can only be with a prince. Unless, you're in a Disney story. Then you can be like---"

She immediately cut you off with a sad pout, "Aren't witchers like a prince? beast slayers but still a prince?"

You've turned to look into her eyes; genuine and seeming to be in a different state of mind as you sincerely implored, "To me---he's a knight. An imperfectly, perfect scarred knight who always saves my life." pause. "---Sometimes, picking a commoner is better than being with a perfect prince because they always make you believe in fairytales that don't exist. The witcher's a mutant. A freak of nature that they always see of him. An experimented human who had no other choice but to accept his lonely fate. But, this doesn't make him any less human, Princess Coco."

Princess Corinthia had her almond, doe eyes peering up at you. Her spirit filled in utmost inquiry for what your witcher really actually is. Unable to perceive how he also looked like because she had only seen his armored, broad back as he gently dropped you on the bed. Both of you seeming to be in a debate while his face inches away from yours, seeing him lean all the way forward to give you a pucker of his lips. A gesture that the princess has always seen from servants who had a secretive relationship with their knights. The opposite of what she sees from her parents because you never leaned away from Geralt unlike how the queen avoids her husband's affections.

Endearing to be seen from you both because her parents hardly appeared to cherish one another.

"Geralt has a kind heart that no other prince may let me see from and I wish for your future to be best and full of love like how I wish to have,"

"Geralt? is that the witcher's name?"

You've heard loud stomps of footsteps banging outside the room, knowing that it was probably chevaliers searching for the young princess. She was quick to pull the blanket over her head, forcefully shoving herself on your side for cover. Hence, it also made you slip under the covers, grabbing onto her fragile shoulders to pull her inside to veil away from the night that wanted to pull her in for a nightmare. The cloying feeling swaying your insides because of a young child that could delicately press onto your heartstrings, showing you how precious it was to have a daughter who was utterly sweet and gullible.

You couldn't help but giggle under the covers with her, subtly reaching for your growing stomach with a hidden caress.

"Yes it is, Princess. Now, hide!"

Morning came after and the night has still given you beasts as your foe, battling through the hours which has never given you enough sleep. The queen's princess having more sleep as she laid on your arm, telling you that she also had her own monsters to challenge with because she slept alone in her bed, thinking that it was all a lie when she dozed off after half an hour of your stories about Geralt and his adventures.

An understanding hitting you like a freight train when she began snoring as she slept on your bed.

The princess just needed someone to cuddle with. Comfort from another woman that the queen should've been doing because it was her daughter and not yours to begin with.

Dressed in your servant's clothes and standing in the middle of an empty kitchen, most servants have been called to be in the queen's chambers except for you. With a gurgling stomach and a set of pastries lined up in front of you and on the decrepit, wooden table---your fingers reach out for a piece of marzipan cakes until it has been whacked away from your hands with a tolerating slap of strength.

You were too hungry to even process that you have grabbed onto a kitchen knife, seeming to be in a greater starvation as each day passes by due to cravings for more food everyday. The blade has been hastily pointed upon the man's weak spot on his neck---remembering Jaskier's teachings about what vulnerable spot does it take to slash one's neck for him or her to bleed till her death.

Stunned forest green eyes were all wide as you point the tip upon his jugular. Your teeth barred and appearing wild before the familiar gallant whom you remembered to have seen back when Tybalt has forced his entry through your home. He was the cavalier who wanted nothing to do with Jaskier being shoved to the ground. The hesitant knight that you awfully remember.

"What are you going to do to me? Hurt me again?" you bark out loud, your fingers slightly trembling as the blade was close to his porcelain skin,  "---You knights are---!!!"

The obsidian eyed gallant raised his palm to covers your mouth, his gaze shifting around the empty kitchen before he talked, "Shhh. Don't eat those."

"---Mmmh!" you battled against his hold, shifting away but he forcefully kept you close by, never risking for you to scream or run away.

He shook his head, seeing him anxiously bite on his lower lip and looking away. His hand promptly leaving your mouth as he reached to grab onto one dessert that he saw one charmed servant bake and pour a nasty vile in the batter, "They're poisoned. I've heard it from Tybalt that you might be having a cub growing inside of you. One of the maids have been enchanted, poisoning your food."

You couldn't help but shut your eyes close in exasperation over people wanting to put you in danger. Your hunches immediately thinking about Ingrith because she has been the only person who couldn't stand you and the child you were bearing.

"Notice how no one eats them?"

"But, I seen them eat before I'm around,"

"But, not these. Correct?"

The maids have never eaten any dessert---nor had it look touched. They were devouring food, right. But, not desserts because somehow they suddenly had no sweet tooth over pastries; slyly knowing that you had a penchant over sweets.

It was probably the reason why they were simply poisoned.

You couldn't help but bite the insides of your cheeks, pulling out a chair from the table to tiredly sit and sigh about how stressful it is to stay alive in Geralt's dimension when people wanted you dead since the moment that an out-of-the-blue child has been living inside your stomach.

Was it a mistake made? was the child a mistake so that was why people were scared for it to be born? Eanraig has said that she would be born with a purpose to save their dimension---receiving such help to save humanity and cease chaos.

As much as how difficult it was to understand that, the only thing that has ever been a mistake was trying to honestly tell Geralt you love him before being cut-off by your witcher.

"Is it true?" the gallant curiously inquired, leaning his hip on the edge of the table as he crossed his arms in front of you.

"---that the Witcher is your child's father?"

It was still quite awkward to tell knowing that he was supposed to be infertile. But, being in a world where magic exists probably isn't the only thing peculiar after all.

"Yes."

"Oh, great. It wasn't just plain gossip after all," he momentarily exhaled a breath, rolling his shoulders back. Quietly moaning as he stretched his limbs, his youthful, juvenile timbre in his tone turning squeaky and nonchalant, "---They'll loathe you more especially that you're up the spout with the witcher's child,"

You could see the disgust in their eyes. People in the castle who somehow managed to see you. Though, the case with Eanraig, princess Coco and this chevalier was different because they looked at you as if there was nothing wrong which it should've been.

"Why?"

He pursed his lips and shook his head, grabbing onto another set of pastry that looked like some pudding as he raised it to his nose, subtly sniffing the food before calmly throwing it back away again, "That's not a question. Think of it---you're pregnant by a monster slayer who had tales of his kind that he is completely barren due to his genetic mutations. Then, you're suddenly carrying his sprog for magical reasons,"

Your eyes quickly narrowed with how sarcastic he sounded.

He continued his chatter, sighing every once in a while as he said his words that seemed to be a quote coming from another, "---Witchers are the offspring of foul sorcery and witchcraft. They are unscrupulous scoundrels without conscience and virtue, veritable creatures from hell capable only of taking lives..."

The latter exhaled one last long breathe, dramatic enough to pay heed over how you were trying to see through him; thinking what kind of person he was because after being injured within the castle has made you wary of anyone who wanted to talk. It even got to the point that you were guessing he wanted to talk and seek out information from you.

"---I've always remembered Amaury and his beliefs over witchers since he has encountered one before he was killed by him," he gave a small beam, showing teeth while he was in a flashback of memories from his journey before with a deceased close friend.

"I remember he goes by the name Auckes---maybe your witcher might know him,"

You simply nodded. Still cautious of his presence while you hugged your stomach from him.

"There are other witchers too?"

Geralt has left that question unanswered, back when you were serving ale for him. You've tried to remember that name for when you try to ask your witcher---that is if you're still planning on talking to him after the fight you and him had or if he would even care to answer.

Eventually, it was needed to talk to the father of your own child of surprise. A child of surprise that had no law being given or said.

He noticed you were dazing off, too deep in your thoughts that got him sauntering over the kitchen cabinets, slipping a hand inside to try and eyeball some fruit he tried to hid this morning. The man was thinking you were starving already which tells why you were staring out of nowhere, considering that you were eating for two.

"---Auckes became an assassin. He was formerly a witcha',"

You've snapped out of your stupor, the empathy you had for people swiftly slipping through your mind, "I'm sorry to hear that. May your friend's soul rest in peace."

"Amaury might be having a good time where ever he is right now,"

He strolled back to where you sat, standing before you with a bundle of apples, oranges and boiled eggs. His hands reaching out to give them while whispering the next sentences like he was forbidden to do it from the start or even talk to you, "Watch out for anyone. They have an entire repugnance for his kind and anyone related to him," you've taken the food out of his hands, placing them all on your apron and bunching them to yourself.

The lean built gallant took a step back, hands behind his back and realizing that he was younger than you thought. In the same age as Jaskier when he gave you a boyish smile, "Take care of yourself. Especially your child,"

You've finally beamed before him, slowly loosening up around his infectious presence. Self deciding that he was worth to trust after he took a bite of his own apple hidden inside the pocket of his breeches, showing you that the food he gave was poison free.

"Do you have a name?"

"Of course. The name's Otker."

"Thank you for the warning, Otker." the latter gave a toothy grin before it fell in a hot second, reaching to cup his nape in sheer embarrassment for whatever he was thinking.

"Forgive me for I have not helped you through Tybalt's plans," he honestly apologized.

Without warning, there were voices echoing outside. Voices of maidens chewing the rag over what the queen has told them and it made you shot up from your seat, the bulwark surrounding you suddenly building itself from hearing other people closing in---people who weren't worth the trust.

"It's fine. You had no other choice. You can't betray the man who you work for. Evil or not."

Otker cocked his head to the side with a knowing smile, his mouth in an amused straight line as he walked away with his steps going backward. He was agreeing to what you've said but also somehow disagreeing too.

"Tybalt's not all evil," the green eyed gallant pursed his lips from his psychoanalysis over the higher vampire after working with him for half a year or so; having faith over his ungodly gestures like his appearance had been a misunderstanding for his wicked characteristics that you find in him.

"---but, he isn't good either. Just being whispered words of propaganda by everyone surrounding him,"

A simple shake of your head was enough to get Otker shrugging his shoulders because he knew you weren't convinced after Tybalt basically stabbing you on the hip before he walked away as the judging servants came in the kitchen one by one again---planning to continue the stress they have been pouring.

Taglist for WOTN: (Strikethrough means your blog can’t be tagged. Please check your settings, bb’s! Thank you.) @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @turkish276 @spookypeachx @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-fanfictions @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernaturalhero @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer​​​ @marvelousell​​​ @kingniazx​​​ @angelias134​​​ @tapismyforte​​​ @chook007​​​ @covid-donotenter​​​ @deadlydemon​​ @cheesecakeisapie​​ @angelofthor​​​ @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum, @stuckupstucky​​, @shesthelastjedi​​, @a--1--1--3​​, @gutfucks​​, @raynosaurus-rex​​, @britty443​​, @suhke3​​, @shadowclawstudio88​​, @ruthoakenshield​​, @just-a-sad-donut​​, @gxrdenr0se, @singeramg​​  @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​, @alexwinchester23​

Overall witcher taglist: @pizza-eater-i-ate-the-pizza​​, @crazybutconfidentaf​​

General taglist for any Henry Cavill fics: @agniavateira​​, @iloveyouyen​​, @rahdaleigh​​, @silverkitten547​​, @henrythickcavill​​, @kaatelyyynn​​, @marvelousell​​, @madelinelina​​, @summersong69​​, @raynosaurus-rex​​, @fckdeusername​​, @evansislife​​

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat!!! i was wondering if you had any advice on asking mutuals to beta-read + making friendships here on tumblr? you and your mutuals always seem so close and like irl friends! i'm so sorry if this sounds out of the blue!

hi, honey bee!!! 💛 for asking mutuals to beta read, I just asked them shdjdjd I was like “hey do you wanna read my fic draft” and they were like “hell yeah” so then I just added them to my google doc! tk god (hyoseobie / eggyukhei) actually offered to read my drafts when I was having trouble and she gave me suggestions and whatnot, so she’s my go to for beta reading :’) I will throw every single ridiculous fic idea at her and she responds with 100% energy every time. the dumbing down of love and sweeter than honey wouldn’t have been completed without her !!!! for pussy blocked and august, I believe steph (aqiaquas), ti (m88n), lana (choerrypuffs), moon (wincore), and tk all had access to them. Except !!!! when I was debating on the ending for pussy blocked (aka jeno or jaemin), none of them knew who was endgame, except for moon 💓 she’s an absolute godsend and I heavily discussed everything with her for both august and pussy blocked, especially the ending 💕 so big shout out to her for really helping me out with both of them 🌸🌸

I made friends by either a) gushing about their writing in their ask box or dm’s because have you seen how talented they all are???? or b) they sent me a message! 🥰 I can go more into detail about my closest mutuals below:

tk god (hyoseobie / eggyukhei) — tk was my very first mutual on here and a big reason as to why I even started this blog :’) I found her nct blurbs and fell in love with them and I was like “I wanna write blurbs too!!” so I made this blog and then I sent her an ask and we just kept talking after that 💘 and we got close, and we were supposed to see nct together last june 🤧 nowadays, I just spam her with a lot of meme posts on insta and guilt trip her for dropping yukhei for jaemin and doyoung 😔 I’m sorry for clowning you so much tk

els (taeyongtime) — els is so freaking talented, and I read her tabula rasa fic way back in 2017 when I wasn’t even a fan of nct and didn’t know who each member was. All I knew was that this was the greatest fic I have ever read, and nothing will ever top it. anyway, someone asked me for fic recs, and I had tagged her in it because of course, I would recommend her superior fic 🤩 and then she reached out to me, and now we like to complain about work together lol and text everyday and I send her phyllis pictures and we even mail each other letters !! 💕 also !!!! She’s the closest to my age out of my close friends here, so I feel like it’s super easy to talk to her 💞

lana (choerrypuffs) — she reblogged my neptune’s atlantis fic, and I responded to her reblog and also her blog looked super aesthetic so I clicked on it and then read her fics and was like “wow god tier writing I need to send in some asks to scream about these fics because the TALENT 💓💓” and we talked but we didn’t get close until like a week later when I found this pjo meme and didn’t know who else liked pjo except for her so I randomly dm’ed it to her with some all caps screaming message LOL and now we enjoy shit talking about anything and everything because it’s a safe judge free zone for our unpopular opinions lmaooo and she bullies me for typing all my fics on my phone but it’s ok because at least I’m honest about my bias and I don’t burn toaster strudels in the oven

steph (aqiaquas) — I needed some jeno pictures to make his banner for my not clickbait series and posted a cry for help about it, and she responded !!! I believe she also left a comment earlier regarding my wips about bff renjun faking an aussie accent, but we didn’t talk to each other as much until the jeno pic thing! I dm’ed her for the help and we just continued to talk after that 💕 so thank you jeno I suppose lmaoo and we’re also pen pals now 🥰 big props to her for always giving the nicest advice and for always listening to me 🥺 i talk to her about work issues a lot and we text daily !! I tell her and ti more stuff about me than I do with any of my friends tbh 🤧 I also did a facetime with her and ti a few weeks ago and we got her to stay up past her early bedtime cndjjdjdjdjd she, ti, and i have a gc which she has named “JENO APPRECIATION SOCIETY” LMAO

ti (t-shrt / m88n) — ti left me the kindest words and most detailed asks regarding my fics, and I still cherish them so so much 🥺💗💗 from there, she sent me more asks and I started talking to her more until we began to dm each other! and my god, she just gets me 100% and I can talk to her about anything like even the scariest most personal stuff I don’t tell anyone else about myself, I feel comfy enough to tell her about it, and I hope she feels the same! We text each other everyday and are also pen pals, and I want to visit her and steph one day!!! 💖 honestly I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who has related to me so much before, and you know what? ti, if you’re reading this, I think this is the easy we were talking about before

moon (wincore) — can you believe that we’ve only been friends for 40 days??? I just checked and I am flabbergasted because it feels like so much longer than that. An anon messaged moon a cute ask about how she and I are both yunqis and write fics, and she had tagged me in it! So I sent her an ask, and we were also in the same almost collab, so I dm’ed her afterwards, and we started talking and now she sends me pictures of her doggos and I send pictures of phyllis and I can talk about anything with her and we like to bounce fic ideas off of each other (read: one of us tells the other about a wip and the other person screams and sends a bunch of capslock messages about it) jejdjdjd her only flaw is that she barks at her dogs and doesn’t see this as furry behavior 😔 also we have the same taste in men LOL legends only and I hope she’s having lots of fun in the club listening to t swift rn !!!!

april (dropofgoldensun) — april ilysm okay so she always left the loveliest comments under my fics, and one day, I had this fic idea and was like “I want someone else’s opinion on this” but I wanted a fresh perspective on it, so I decided to dm her out of the blue and ask what she thought of it! And from there, we began to talk more and we also sent each other letters !!! in fact, I got hers last week and it made me 🥺🥺🥺💗💗 I have it pinned up to the corkboard in my room along with drawings by steph 💘

so all in all, I made friends by regularly sending them asks or shooting them a dm, or they sent me asks and continued to have a conversation with me 🥰 as an extrovert, I always love making new friends and never shy away from meeting new people, but I understand that it can be scary for some to reach out and take the first step 🤧 but if you do decide to, you might meet the most wonderful people 💞 I honestly can’t imagine what my life would be like without the friends I made on here now 🤧💖 but also, be careful of stranger danger and talk to those appropriate to your age! quite frankly, for instance, it doesn’t make sense for a 25 year old to want to be friends with a 14 year old. I can understand if the 14 year old wants to ask for advice or something, but having an equal friendship is nearly impossible when you’re at different stages of your life / maturity. Please stay safe! 💛 and omg no need to apologize, lovebug, I hope my answer made sense for you! let me know if you have any other questions 💟

[ahsoka-lives]

Iris pt. 3

Part 3 of my Inquisitor!Cal series!!

A/n: I’ve decided on a series name!! Im calling it Iris because thats what fake moon they live on lmao. Thank you sm for all the love on parts one and two, it means so much to me. I will try to keep posting updates frequently for my sake and yours :) also this gif is by @sovahunter​ !!

Warnings: Using the force mildly inappropriately, things get a lil handsy but nothing serious yet.

Word Count: 3k

  The sun was beginning to go down on the moon. There were only a few hours before you were meant to meet with Cal for dinner. You sat in your office in the maintenance hall filling out the completion forms from your appointments. You found yourself taking your time and looking for any way to drag out the time. Maybe you could give him a rain-check, say you got caught up with work? 

Yes, that’s perfect. You wouldn’t be turning him down necessarily, you’d just be postponing so there would no reason for him to be upset or disappointed, right? You nod to yourself and place your papers into your bag. 

“BD-5, are you there?” You say into your comlink. 

“Yes, y/n. What is it?” 

“I’ll be there soon, would you mind getting dinner started? Oh and are you up for a movie tonight BD? My plans have uh, changed.” Your voice becomes quiet as you go on. 

“You are exceedingly predictable, Y/n, I’ve already begun dinner.” 

“I don’t remember programming you to analyze behavior“ You retort as you exit your office.

You giggle and shake your head. Your companion was your closest friend on the base and listened very well when you ranted about your problems, including earlier that day about the Inquisitor. 

The halls of the base were quiet as they usually were at the end of the day. As you neared the training room you came to a halt. What if Cal was in there again? If you run into him, you couldn’t rely on yourself to talk your way out of dinner. BD-5 was to send a note to him explaining that you had too much work to do and couldn’t join him tonight. 

You decide it’d be best to take the long route to the living quarters and avoid the risk. You head toward the building exit, there was a stairwell for the service workers that led to a large bridge that you could access and get to the living quarters without having to pass any officers or Inquisitors. 

The bridge had large windows that overlooked one of the landing pads that held personal ships making easy access for when an emergency calls. The echo of your shoes hitting the smooth concrete filled the bridge, there was a peacefulness that came with the vacancy. The vents allowed for the sounds of the waves crashing to flow inside with the mist of saltwater. 

You pause for a moment and take in the view, only to be interrupted by the whirring of an imperial ship coming down onto the landing pad below you. You were several floors up but the ship still looked massive. It was a newer model of the tie fighter, with nearly transparent wings and more black detailing than silver. Whoever was inside was lucky to have it, or just skilled enough to have earned it. 

Against your better judgment, you decide to wait for the pilot to exit. There was still dust settling around the ship as the cockpit opened. Time seemed to have slowed with your anticipation. 

Inquisitor combat gear head to toe stepped onto the black sand. You stood in awe of the confidence and power that radiated off of the individual standing below you. A helmet covered their face and head as they marched forward toward the pad guards. 

The guards bowed their heads slightly to the Inquisitor before handing them a small holo-communicator. You hadn’t made out what the communicator was showing and your attention was taken from it before you could. A small and familiar BD unit was hopping toward the Inquisitor. 

Then it clicked. 

It was Cal.

Your eyes snapped toward the Inquisitor who had given the communicator back to the guards and began to remove his helmet. Cal turned to face his companion and the two seemed to be having an exchange. 

Cal’s arm abruptly shot out and reached into the empty air. A few seconds later a small cylindrical piece of metal caught in his hand, his saber. He stood completely still for a moment and his head bowed slightly with his eyes closed as if he was saying a prayer but you knew better than to think the man was praying. 

His head tilted slightly and a small smirk crept onto his face. An empty hand rose and gestured toward the cliffs, reaching once more before closing into a fist. His eyes were still shut as his fist raised, reopened, and two fingers gestured in an upward motion directly at you.

You covered your mouth to stifle your gasp, which was useless as it was clear that he knew of your presence. You backed away from the windows and tried to collect yourself. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins, how long had he known you were watching him again? 

Your thoughts were interrupted by something fluttering inside the bridge from a vent. You felt your curiosity pique as it was carried to you by the wind, hovering right in front of you before dropping to the floor. 

Resting in perfect condition at your feet was a flower. 

- 

Cal pulled his helmet back onto his head and looked to the window he sensed you at moments before. He waited a moment before allowing BD-1 to jump onto his place by his shoulder. 

He hoped you liked your gift, he knows you hadn’t seen any of flowers in a long time. Most don’t know of the flora covering the stretches of the land beyond the facility, and for good reason, the fauna was territorial and most are not as prepared to defend themselves. 

He was disappointed in you for canceling dinner but he certainly wasn’t surprised. After all, when he saw you last that morning he had been quite forward with you. He also knew that he couldn’t rely on you to be as forward with him, you were afraid of him. However, he couldn’t help but he enjoy the fear he inspired. But he didn’t want it to be that way for long, his plan was to turn that fear into something else that would be much more enjoyable. 

“What am I going to do about our little stalker, BD?” He was asking himself more than his droid. If you really were busy with work he wouldn’t want to disturb you but he was sure you made it up. Of course, there was no way to tell from the message since your droid spoke in it and the robotic voice held no trace of inconsistency that would indicate a lie. 

Maybe he just had to see for himself.

-

You seemed to have gotten to the elevators before Cal, you’re surprised, to say the least. Upon entering your apartment you immediately head to your room, not wanting to explain the flower or your flustered appearance to your droid. You sigh loudly and look at the flower still in your hand. 

Why was it still in your hand? 

Truthfully, you loved it. You didn’t even know there were flowers on this moon and since it came from him... well let’s just say it felt important. You carefully place it into your bedside table before going to your washroom. You splash the cool water onto your face and calm yourself down. You probably won’t see him until the start of the next work week in two days. 

You pause at the sound of voices coming from behind the two doors blocking you from the main living area. Maybe BD-5 had the television on. You shrug it off and dry your hands before making your way to the kitchen. Once you opened the bedroom door, the voices ceased. 

Your droid appeared in front of you

“Y/n, I told him to wait outside but he insisted on entering. I see what you meant by ‘He has no sense of boundaries!’” BD-5 hurriedly explain.

For a moment you were confused until you remembered 'He has no sense of boundaries’ was something you said to BD-5 about Cal. 

Cal, the Inquisitor who you cancelled dinner plans with. Cal who you just ran from again. Cal who was comfortably sitting on your couch staring at you. Yes, that Cal. 

“ ’No sense of boundaries’ is actually a direct quote from my last performance review.” He chuckled and put his hand on his chest in mock exasperation. “I’m a little hurt, though.” 

You sat there in shock at the Inquisitor sitting in your home as if it was his own, arms stretched, legs relaxed, now in his regular clothing. When did he even have time to change? 

“Oh, you get used to changing quickly when you have less than 60 seconds to be ready for a mission.” He chimed, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Get out of my head.” You snapped. 

His eyebrows raised and a smirk came over his handsome face. He raised his hand and flicked his wrist. 

You winced expecting something to smack you in the head, only to turn and see BD-5 leaving the two of you. 

“Relax, I don’t want to hurt you” He stood up and took a step toward you. “I was disappointed to hear you can’t be with me tonight so I thought I’d stop by and see you for a few minutes.” He spoke so kindly. 

Your heart swelled at his apparent thoughtfulness and you almost felt bad for telling him you were too busy.

“Th-that’s very sweet of you, Cal.” You stuttered out as you tried to remain as calm as possible. He was just back from some kind of mission and obviously still on high alert. 

“Why are you doing that again? Is there something you don’t want me to know, flower?” He was speaking so gently now, it didn’t match who you saw minutes ago on the platform. 

“Doing what?” You asked, playing dumb once again. It was now that you noticed he had taken several steps toward you and your heart jumped. You nonchalantly turned and walked into the kitchen, knowing he would follow. 

He huffed and rolled his eyes, ‘so that’s is how we’re playing this’, he thought to himself. He followed you into your kitchen where you had put your island between the two of you. 

“Why are you trying to keep your thoughts about me hidden from me? It must be tiring to put all that effort into keeping me out of that pretty little head of yours.” He decided he would play along, that is until he becomes bored. “I haven’t even tried to pry my way in yet, do you think you could keep me out if I did?”

“I-I probably not.” You nearly choked out. His eyes were burning into you now and you felt like you could faint. He was right, it was draining to be tightly wound for so long. 

“Probably?” He scoffed playfully and almost showed you a full smile. “That’s really cute, flower. You know I can take what I want when I want it.” 

Your heart must’ve given out. At first, from the compliment that made your face burn slightly from blushing, then again with his second statement. You knew he could take what he wanted in more ways than one and it made you feel a different kind of weak.

“Why can’t you just ask me what you want to know instead of looking for it in my head?” You were surprised at how brave you were being and there was no turning back now. 

“Will you be honest with me? Or did you want BD-5 to come back in and lie on your behalf?” He thought that would stun you for a moment and he was right. You stood there, eyes opened a little wider, mouth agape, processing his words once again. 

“That’s what I thought. You know, I’m not mad, flower, I’m just disappointed.” He tsked and leaned his back against the counter. “When will you learn that you can’t keep things from me? Or is the better question, How?” 

“H-how?” You could admit, you were scared. But you couldn’t ignore the arousal swelling inside of you from him being so forward. You couldn’t help but think that he was similarly assertive elsewhere. His lips were pinkish red and it looked like there was a small cut on it, maybe from today’s mission. Wondering what they felt like against your skin was probably, no, definitely not what you should have been thinking about but you couldn’t catch the thought from coming forward in your head. 

“Yes, y/n. How will you ever learn?” His voice was low and steady, his eyes still on you only now they looked different. His normal green was tinted lightly with yellow. 

You opened your mouth to question it when his hand raised and his wrist flicked to the side once again. This time you didn’t flinch, instead, you watched in near amazement to see what he did. Only, what he did was not something that called for amazement.

The door to the kitchen slid shut and locked. Your eyebrows raised and you looked at him again, only to find he was now only steps ahead of you. You felt a small panic ensue and start to move to the other side of the island, hoping to make space between the two of you, only to feel two strong hands grip your waist and pull you back. 

You let out a small yelp as you’re set onto the countertop with Cal standing in between your legs. Your breathing is all too heavy as you place a hand on his chest and one on the counter to balance yourself. 

“Is this so bad?” He coos and gently moves a piece of hair from your face. 

“N-no, n-not at all.” You felt frozen in place, unsure of his next move. His eyes still have a light yellow sheen over the iris and you’re just about to ask when his thumb moves to caress your cheek. His hands were soothing but slightly rough,  you assumed from time spent with his saber. Stunned, you stay silent and watch his face for any signs of what he might do next. 

He then gently moves your chin up to make you meet his eyes and moves two fingers to press to your temple. Your body runs cold as the realization hits you. 

“Now, are you going to let me in, or am I letting myself in?” He growled lowly, his other hand on your waist holding you steady. 

You didn’t know what else to do besides, you definitely did not want him poking around in your head so you closed your eyes and tried your best to clear everything out, just like Trilla taught you. But you were no force-sensitive warrior. No, one of those was standing against you with his fingers pressed to your temple. 

He really should commend Trilla for her teaching effort, but he was sure she didn’t tell you that some force users are especially gifted in mind reading. Usually this would hurt whoever was on the receiving end but Cal was better at it than most.

“You need to relax, flower, or it may hurt.” He muttered. 

You felt the idea of letting him in creep forward in your mind and it was all too tempting. Was this a mind trick? Wait, did he say it’d hurt?

Suddenly a soft kiss was pressed to the side of your neck, then another, and another. Your hand pressed into his chest and grabbed his shirt in your fist. He hummed against your neck before his hand left it’s place at your temple. You relaxed for a moment and closed your eyes feeling content, his lips were soft and warm against your skin. You would never expect him to be so gentle. You moved your hand up to his hair as he continued peppering kisses to your neck and slightly exposed shoulder.

And as quickly as it came, the moment left. Your hands were suddenly moved behind your back to support you, only this wasn’t you. Your eyes flew open and a gasp left your mouth as his teeth dug into your neck. Two fingers returned to your temple as he sucked a mark onto your skin, as if to distract from the pressure he was applying to your temple. And distract it did, your mind was left vulnerable and all it took was a light push to open up for him.

He pulled away from your neck to look into your hazy eyes. He read through your many, many thoughts of him as you stared back into his, unable to move. His eyes were now nothing short of golden and it would’ve caused a shocked reaction if you didn’t feel so dazed. Him being in your head felt good, like a spice high.

He hummed again and a small smile formed on his lips. Who knew you could have such inappropriate thoughts of him. Having gotten what he came for, he released his hold on your mind and body. Knowing you would be weak from the high, he moved to support you.

He hooked an arm under your knees and one behind your shoulders. This time, with only the movement of his eyes, the kitchen door slid back open. He carried you to your bed and laid you down, noticing you had fallen asleep in his arms. He stilled for a moment and took note of how you furrowed your brows slightly even in your sleep.

You were so cute.

He pulled the covers over you and placed a kiss to your forehead.

As he turned to leave he felt a pull back toward the bed. Against his deepest wishes, it wasn’t you. It was something in your bedside table. A small part of him thought about respecting your privacy before remembering that he really didn’t care.

Sliding open the drawer, he didn’t know what he was expecting but he felt almost relieved by what he found.

“Good girl.” He muttered before shutting the drawer again and leaving you to dream of him again. 

[illfoandillfie]

5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: Failure To Launch

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Tensions rise as you try to deal with Ben's secret and keep your fake relationship afloat. But when the script calls for an argument, will too much be said?

Warnings: Still pretty innocent. Some swearing, passing reference to Ben smoking, references to sex but not explicitly so, a discussion of a douchbag ex, a public argument.

Words: 6587

A/N: We’re really in it now folks. 

Originally there was going to be more in this chapter but it was getting too long and kind of undercut what is now the end of the chapter, so I rearranged some stuff. But that just means there’s a whole extra chapter that I didn’t think would be there when I wrote the masterlist lmao. 

Taglist:  @laedymoon  @dtfrogertaylor  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor  @hannafuckingsucks  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah 

@coni-martina @johndeaconshands​

When you finally found the courage to leave the bathroom Ben was waiting for you in the seat he’d vacated earlier, now under a crocheted throw and staring at his phone. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, smiling softly when he saw you. “Sorry,” you blurted out, dropping onto the end of the couch furthest from where he sat. “No worries,” he laughed, “you ready to keep watching?” “Mmhmm,” “Are you alright? You look a little pale,” “Fine, thanks. Just tired. Might call it quits after this ep.” “You wanna share the blanket?” “Nah, I’m not that cold,” your heart was racing with every word of forced naturality, white noise filling your brain and nervous butterflies filling your stomach. Did he always smile like that when he saw you? What other signs had you missed? You tucked your legs under yourself and pulled your phone out, a barrier between you and he, and a way to keep your hands busy as you tried to focus on the show. It was pointless though. It felt like an age had passed since you began the episode. A dramatic shift in your reality had occurred. You couldn’t remember what had been happening when the pause button was hit let alone understand what was going on now. There just wasn’t space in your head, not when you had to keep reminding yourself to breathe and not look over at Ben. God how you wished you hadn’t gone into the kitchen. Ignorance truly was bliss. You rubbed your thumb over the locked screen of your phone, occasionally unlocking it and opening an app before locking it again, the episode dragging on in the background. Finally, it finished, after much too much time. “Ready for bed or d’you wanna squeeze in one more?” Ben asked, apparently completely at ease. “Definitely time for bed,” you yawned as you stood up, praying Ben wouldn’t stop you. “Alright. I’m gonna stay up a bit longer so if the TVs too loud let me know.” “Night,” “Sleep tight, cuddle bunny.” You could feel Ben’s eyes on you as you headed through the doorway, only barely stopping yourself from sprinting to the safety of your room. You weren’t at all tired, but you turned the light out all the same, stumbling towards your bed by the glow of your phone. As you settled again the pillows you let out a long breath, finally allowing yourself to relax. There was nothing else to do but try to distract yourself, until you felt tired enough. You checked your emails again, but there was nothing new besides some spam for bitcoins. Then you opened youtube, hoping to find some sort of relaxing video that would help you get to sleep. It worked for a while, made you focus on counting your breaths and the meditation that was calmly being spoken. But then it stopped working, thoughts of Ben wriggling back to the forefront of your mind, making a lump form in your throat. A little while later you heard Ben’s footsteps pass by your door as he made his way to his room, the low hum of voices on the TV now quiet. You held your breath as he paused outside your room but his footsteps backtracked, a light flicked off, and then the door to your spare room shut behind him. You didn’t dare move until you were sure he was in bed. But he didn’t stir again, and you fell into a fitful sleep, interrupted by dreams in which you and Ben walked around hand in hand, sometimes blissfully happy, sometimes unable to separate, glued together like a bug caught on flypaper.

The sun had risen by the time you called a time of death on a decent night’s sleep, though it was still what you’d normally consider much too early. It was even too early for Ben who, as you’d come to learn in your months crashing at each other’s places, usually woke before you and enjoyed teasing you about being a teenager for sleeping in so late. You tiptoed to the kitchen and tried not to make too much noise as you brewed yourself a coffee. Maybe it was the new morning bringing clarity or maybe it was delirium from lack of sleep, but you felt you had a better grasp of the situation now. The fact was you didn’t like Ben in that way. And he knew that. So the obvious thing to do was nothing. If you said anything, confessed that you’d overheard him, it’d just end up with both of you feeling embarrassed and you having to put what you both already knew into words that would just hurt Ben more. And that would only add extra stress onto whatever dates and staged relationship moments you’d have to take part in. Because you couldn’t just stop pretending to date. Not when your story was creating buzz for your movie. Not when you were looking for a new job and every scrap of notoriety you could find would help increase your chances of actually landing some of the roles you auditioned for. You’d just have to grin and bear it for a few months. But you supposed that’s what Ben had been doing since who knew how long. With coffee in hand you made your way back to your room, fortifying yourself for what was to come.

It was a few hours before you saw Ben, sleep tousled and searching for caffeine. He took one glance at you and then stepped in close, bringing his hand up to your forehead. You were too stunned by the sudden warmth and how all the air suddenly smelt of him to do more than quietly ask what he was doing. “Checking your temperature. Not like you to beat me out of bed. And you still look kind of pale. Are you sure you feel okay?” “I feel fine Ben.” He withdrew his hand slowly but didn’t move away, his eyes darting to your lips and away again. You stepped back. Ben cleared his throat and turned back to the coffee he was halfway through making, “Are you still okay to give me a lift back to the pub?” “Yeah, of course. Just let me have a shower first.” “Yeah, no rush.” You managed to mostly avoid Ben until you were both in the car. The evidence of his breakfast was loaded into the dishwasher when you got out of the bathroom but he himself was standing on your back patio, looking up at the overcast sky as smoke from his morning cigarette dissipated around him. He waved through the window when he saw you. After that all you had to do was wait for him to brush his teeth and gather up his bag while you flittered from room to room making yourself look busier than you were. Once in the car you started a safe conversation about what you’d be doing for the rest of the day. “I’m going over to a mates house in the afternoon to watch the football but that’s about it. What about you?” “Um, nothing much really. I have a couple of scripts to look over but other than that nothing. I’ll probably just go back to bed though.” “Probably a good idea.” “Do I look that bad? I thought the concealer covered the worst of it.” He shook his head with a smile, “No, you look lovely. Always do. But I heard you tossing and turning a bit last night, didn’t sound like you got much sleep.” “Yeah, just had one of those nights,” you tried to wave him off, back to safer waters. “Are you sure you’re okay?” “Yes, I promise I’m okay,” when Ben didn’t stop looking concerned you added, “Just had some weird dreams, that’s all.” “You should’ve come hopped into bed with me. Nothing like a boyfriend to scare off weird dreams.” You forced yourself to laugh along, “Not sure fake boyfriends work so well. And it really wasn’t that bad.” He shrugged, “The offer stands for next time.” You didn’t know what else to say so you fell quiet. On one hand it was Ben. Ben who’d come to be one of your closest friends, who could make you laugh at the drop of a hat, who geeked out about sports and didn’t mind when you teased him for it. Usually you would have called him a dork and made a joke about how you’d hog the blankets or kick him in your sleep if he was unlucky enough to share a bed with you. But now that didn’t seem right. You didn’t want to lead him on at all. Didn’t want him to read more into your dumb jokes than you meant. So you let the radio fill the silence until Ben thought of a new topic. Thankfully the pub wasn’t far away, and you only had to fill a few more minutes with idle chatter until you arrived. You followed Ben inside and up to the bar where an amused barman handed over the keychain as Ben thanked him profusely. “God I would have been screwed if they hadn’t been there,” he said, relieved, as you stepped back out into the grey street. “Good thing they were there then,” you knew your tone was off, knew you should be standing closer to him in case anyone was looking, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take the step, “Where’re you parked?” “Just around the corner. Thanks for the lift, cuddle bunny,” Ben stepped close enough to pull you into a hug. Your chest tightened as you tried to stay relaxed, throwing your own arms over his shoulders like you normally would have. “Have a good day. Get some rest,” he said, kissing your cheek as he let you go. “I’ll try. Have a good day yourself.” With a wave Ben took off down the street and you got back in your car, driving in the opposite direction. It wasn’t until you were back home in your pyjamas that you realised that if Ben had heard you not sleeping, he mustn't have been sleeping either.

 Filming being over was a blessing, even if it did mean you were unemployed. It at least gave you a reprieve from being around Ben, although, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, it also felt weird to not see him every day. He’d become such a consistent part of your life, even without the whole fake dating thing, that the absence of his almost constant presence made you feel a little off kilter. You hadn’t seen him since he’d stayed the night, too nervous about how to act around him now, but you had exchanged a few texts and he called once to check that you’d caught up on sleep. It was the sort of thing a friend might do, so it didn’t make your stomach do flips the way seeing him in person did. But seeing him was unavoidable, especially after Mary called you to organise the next photo session. She gave you the time and the place and then asked if you had any concerns. You paused, weighing up whether it would be worth it to tell her. Would she tell Peter? Would it get back to Ben? “No, that’s all good. Ben knows?” “Yes, Peter’s talking to him about it. We’ve also been talking about the argument you’ll need to have.” “Oh?” “We’re considering planting someone in the area to record it on their phone. Pictures are good but video is better.” “Okay, that, uh, makes sense, I guess. I s’pose that means we should work out what it’s going to be about.” “That would be useful, Y/N. We’re leaning towards doing it next week.” “That soon?” “Yes, that soon. There’s been an upswing in comments online about the relationship potentially being fake and we’d like to try and clamp down on those.” “People are onto us?” “No, no, there’s always a few unbelievers, we were entirely prepared for that. Every Hollywood couple has endured the same sorts of comments at one time or another, no matter how real they were. But there’s been a few more this week than there were before. We hope that if people see you being unhappy with each other, they’ll be less likely to think it’s fake because A, fake relationships should be happy and B, it’ll make you seem more down to earth, relatable. Every relationship has moments when things aren’t the best and your relationship should reflect that to seem natural.” “Okay, so next week we fight. What about this week? Should we still act super happy and loved up?” “Look, there are pros and cons for that. On one hand if you act like everything is perfect now, it’ll take people by surprise when the argument happens which some people will see as normal and some will see as more evidence for it not being real. On the other if people suspect something is happening then the argument story could lose some of its impact when it runs. Either way, if people are talking about you it’s good, so it’s really up to you and Ben how you want to play it. Maybe give him a call and figure it out before you get there.” That made you feel a little better, hopefully any awkwardness or tension you weren’t able to hide would just be seen as a couple going through a small rough patch.

You bit the bullet and rang Ben as soon as Mary hung up, while you could summon the courage. “Hey, Ben, it’s -,” “Y/N!” A few male voices in the background rose up making high pitched oooo noises and someone wolf whistled. “Sorry, I’m just in the middle of kicking these dickhead’s arses in FIFA, gimme a sec,” “Sure thing,” You hung on the line, trying to work out what you were going to say as you listened to the guys trash talking each other and controller buttons being mashed. Eventually there was a cheer from Ben followed by a hearty suck on that, wanker, and then his laughter. “Hey, cuddle bunny,” The teasing voices started buck up again, but they faded as Ben carried the phone into another room. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked as he closed a door behind him. “Have you spoken to Peter yet?” Ben’s voice lowered, “You mean about the shopping photos? Yeah, he called about an hour ago, why?” “Did he mention the fight next week? “Yeah, it came up,” you weren’t sure whether the melancholy tone you heard was in your heard or not, “is that why you called, to work out what we’ll argue about?” “Not really. Um, I was more thinking about the photos this week and the sort of, um, mood they’ll have.” “Mood?” “Well, like, if we’re leading into a fight wouldn’t it make sense to, I don’t know, kind of hint what’s coming?” “I’d just assumed we’d be all over each other like usual.” “Yeah, I mean, not a huge change. We’d still like hold hands or whatever they want us to do but y’know maybe if we just like make things look a bit tense?” “Oh-kay,” there was definitely less of a smile in his voice now than before, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to pull it off though.” “You’re a good actor Ben, I’m sure you’ll manage,” “I wasn’t fishing for that but thanks. It’s more that I’ve missed hanging out with you as much since filming ended, it’ll be hard to hide how happy I am to see you.” “That’s sweet” You wondered if that was because of how he felt about you or just a change in routine throwing him off that way it had done you, “It has felt kind of odd not seeing you every day.” “So let’s just see how we feel on the day then, before we decide what we’re going to do.” “Ben you know I like to plan more than that,” “We have a plan. Go out. Hold hands while we go shopping or whatever and some guy takes our photos. Go home. That’s a pretty solid plan.” “Not quite what I meant though.” There was a muffled shout and you heard Ben cover the receiver and shout something back. “Sorry, the boys think we’re having phone sex or something,” he laughed. “No, I’m sorry, I’m interrupting, I should let you go.” “It’s okay, they can play without me for a bit,” “No, no, you go back to your game.” “Wait, we didn’t talk about what we’re gonna argue about.” “We can discuss it while we’re shopping. Wouldn’t want them to overhear you anyway. You go have fun beating your friends, I’ll see you in a couple of days.” You hung up before he could say anything, feeling more unsure than when you called.

The day of the photos you spent the trip into London psyching yourself up, reminding yourself that this was just acting, and acting was something you could do blindfolded with one hand tied behind your back. Besides, if some of your discomfort showed, it wouldn’t matter, at least you hoped it wouldn’t. Ben was already at the designated meeting spot when you arrived in the city, a photographer nearby waiting to capture your reunion. Having someone to perform for helped ease the tension that had been weighing on you. You smiled at Ben as you approached, legs feeling unsteady, heart racing. As soon as you were close enough you leaned in to steal a quick kiss and let him brush a strand of hair behind your ear, almost whispering your greetings. With the hellos out of the way he took your hand and began leading you up the street. “So where are you taking me this time, babe?” “Nowhere specific, babe,” he laughed, “They just want us to like, be out and about. I’ve been directed to walk us up this way, maybe pop into a shop or stop for a drink or something.” “Any idea how long it’ll take?” “Why? you got somewhere to be?” “Nah, just curious. I can stay for as long as the job takes.” Ben’s fingers flexed against yours, but you weren’t sure if it was in response to your statement or just a coincidence. Either way it made you worry that you were putting more emphasis than usual on this being work for you. Ben couldn’t suspect that something had changed, he couldn’t know what you knew about him. You corrected yourself by squeezing his hand and smiling up at him. As you walked you tried to treat it like you were filming a scene in a movie, just with less blocking and more improv. You were playing a role, playing the girlfriend, and nothing outside of the scene mattered, though occasionally you couldn’t help wondering what was going through Ben’s head. Was he trying to remind himself it was all manufactured or was he letting himself believe it was real? You shook your head and pulled yourself back into the scene. Together you ambled past shops, stopping to look in the windows of some, actually going into others. Inside a cute secondhand bookstore you’d seen but never been in before, Ben insisted on buying you something. He jokingly showed you a copy of the Kama Sutra, softly assuring you that the inernet would lose its mind if that book was seen in a photo. You shook your head and laughed and he put it back and let you pick something much less suggestive. You tried to tell him you could buy it yourself but he took it from your hands with a, “nuh uh, I spoil my girlfriends,” taking it up to the counter before you could protest. All the same you repaid the favour by pulling him to a halt outside a donut shop and buying the both of you a snack. It had the added bonus of giving you an excuse to drop his hand, needing both to keep from dripping chocolate ganache down your front as you continued walking. Ben wasn’t quite so neat as you managed to be, a spot of raspberry jam smeared across his lip and chin. As soon as you noticed it you pointed it out to him, earning a groan as he tried to wipe clean the wrong part of his face. “No, to the left more. My left, sorry.” “Why don’t you just get it for me?” “Really?” “yeah, c’mon. That’s the sort of cute couple thing they want. It’ll go over well on twitter with everyone who mashes our names together in hashtags.” You couldn’t think of reasonable argument not to so, with a smile you hoped didn’t seem too fake, you swiped your thumb over the patch of jam, hesitating for a second before you brought it to your lips and sucked it clean. A soft blush rose on Ben’s cheeks before your eyes and, seemingly unconsciously, he pulled his lower lip between his teeth. You didn’t want to hear whatever he might possibly say so you quickly turned to set off walking again, “So, our argument next week.” Ben shook his head, “Right, that.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s gotta sound believable if there’s going to be a camera.” “Guess that rules out all the which brand of tea is best type arguments,” “Yeah, it should probably be a little more serious than that,” you conceded with a chuckle “Have you ever had a public argument before?” “Umm,” his question distracted you from the tension you’d been fighting since you arrived, “not like a full on fight but there’ve been snippy comments and disagreements. Sometimes they turned into full on fights once we were home. You?” “Once. At her parent’s place during their anniversary party.” “Yikes,” “Yeah, pretty much,” he chuckled, “We found a spare room before we really had it out, but people still heard.” “God that would have been horrible. I think my worst one was when me and my then boyfriend went out for dinner with some other mates. They were new parents and it was like their first night out since the kid was born and they were talking about how wonderful it all was,” “It’s a miracle don’t you know,” You laughed, “So they said. But they were talking about how hard it had been to start having sex again and then my boyfriend said something like it’s hard enough to get Y/N interested and that’s without a kid.” “Jesus,” “It gets worse. He had another dig at me later for not being adventurous enough and I realised it was because I’d said I wasn’t comfortable with something he wanted to try in the bedroom.” “What an arsehole. Please tell me you broke up with him on the spot,” “God I wish. I stayed with him for another two months,” you sighed at the memory, “But what about you though, what happened with the anniversary fight?” “Uh, well, it all happened pretty quickly. One second I was joking about what we’d be like at our anniversary party, the next she was saying she didn’t see us getting married and then we were in her old bedroom tearing into each other. And not in the fun way.” “Oh shit,” “It was for the best. We were way to young anyway but, still, not super fun. I don’t know if that helps us at all, with our fake argument I mean.” “Well, ours both started with small comments, right? So maybe we start with something small, like how you never put the toilet seat down?” you nudged his shoulder. He laughed, “Yeah, makes sense.” “Then we just have to work out what it builds to,” “Uhhh, things couples fight about… moving in together? Sex? Money? Control?” “Not sex. I’m invoking rule one here, sex is off limits. That’s way too close to home.” “Okay, fair enough.” “What about meeting the parents? We’ve apparently been seeing each other for three or so months now, so that’s not an unreasonable thing to argue about.” “Yeah. And we’re already both coping it from our families anyway, so they’d believe it if one of us wanted to do the family meeting thing and the other didn’t.” “Exactly. So, should I be the hesitant one or you?” “Honestly? I normally would have brought a girlfriend home by now. My parents think it’s really weird that I haven’t.” “Okay, so that makes me the hesitant one then.” “You okay with that?” “Yeah, absolutely.” You were slightly relieved at your role, figuring it’d be easier to act averse to the concept than all for it. “Let’s stop in at that café up there, talk though some things we could say. Give them a shot of us feeding each other chips or something.” Ben said with a playful smile, pointing ahead. You nodded, letting him take your hand again, returning the reassuring squeeze he gave you.

You were woken from another dream about Ben by your phone ringing. Groggily you answered. “Y/N, oh my god, is everything okay with Ben?” “Felicity?” you groaned, trying to push away the surprisingly detailed picture of Ben and you and a page from the Kama Sutra that your brain had conjured during the night. “Were you seriously still asleep? It’s midday.” “Shut up, I’m allowed to sleep in. No job, no auditions. And a shit night sleep.” “Was it because of Ben?” “Why would it be because of Ben?” you asked too quickly. “I saw the photos of you and him out yesterday. Is everything okay between you two?” “What photos?” “They’re on the Heat homepage,” You wedged the phone under your ear as you grabbed your laptop from the bedside table, willing your fingers to work a little faster as you found your way to the website. There was a gallery of photos. You and Ben smiling as you greeted each other. Walking hand in hand. Him through a shop window holding up a book and you laughing at it. You licking jam from your thumb. You paused for a second longer on that shot than the others, automatically focusing on Ben’s expression. Did everyone else see the flush on his cheeks and the look in his eyes? “Why would anything be wrong?” you asked, forcing yourself to move to the next photo, “These all look fine. Normal.” “Really? What about those last few?” Rolling your eyes you keep clicking through until you reached one of Ben, hands in his pockets, frowning a little. The next was you, sitting at the café, looking away from Ben. “Are you going to break up with him?” “What? No, definitely not. We were just talking about something kind of serious, that’s all.” “Break up serious?” “God, Felicity, no,” you almost laughed at the irony of her suggestion, “I guarantee you, we’re not breaking up anytime soon.” An idea came to you. If the world was going to see you arguing about meeting his parents then why not get the ball rolling early, “We were talking about meeting each other’s families. We haven’t done it yet.” “Really?” “Yes, really. He wants to but I’m not super keen to rush into that and it was just a kind of serious conversation. Everything is totally fine.” “Well one of the betting apps has odds up for when you’ll break up. And for who’ll actually end it. Odds are on you, by the way.”

Later that day Mary emailed to let you know the photos were working perfectly – the talk of your relationship being fake had died down – and when the argument would happen. They wanted you to go out to dinner and leave before you were finished, looking like you were on the verge of blowing up. Easy enough. You were prepared. You and Ben had hashed out some things you could use in the argument, without going so far as to write a full script. But the mention of the photos made you curious. What exactly were people saying about you now? Could anyone see what was actually going on, how one sided it all really was? In the days before the scheduled argument you found yourself looking at your own photos more and more. When you weren’t spending your time rehearsing for an audition or with your friends you were on twitter, falling down a rabbit hole of comments and reposted photos. If Felicity, or anyone else you knew for that matter, had found out she would have called you a narcissist. So you kept it to yourself. Your guilty pleasure. Seeing the comments about what a cute couple you were made you feel simultaneously pleased and queasy. You got a strange delight from knowing people believed you enough to speculate about your future, to write fanfiction about you. It was hard to pull your eyes away once you started and it definitely didn’t help you stop dreaming about Ben. The trail of reposted photos in your couple name hashtag led to compilations of screenshots of every comment Ben had left on your photos. All of them flirty and playful and beyond sweet. And he meant them. They weren’t just for show for him, they were real. The queasy feeling grew but still you kept scrolling. Day after Day as you killed time, night after night before sleep took you. Photos posted on Instagram by you or people you’d worked with on The Perfect Match, copied and reuploaded to twitter followed by screencaps of yours and Ben’s comments. Photos of the two of you on set, on dates, cuddled up on your couch. Every single one of them commented on by him. Kiss face emojis or cutesy pet names or sincere messages of attraction, love. The more you looked the more uncomfortable you felt about the whole situation. If Ben really did feel something for you beyond just friendship, then your arrangement wasn’t just unfair it was downright heartless. But, as you reminded yourself, he’d chosen it. If he’d had a crush on you and had still gone ahead with the studio’s plan, that was on him. You could hardly be blamed when you’d been working with half the information. And if it had developed afterwards then it was on him to talk to Peter and call the whole thing off if he had to. You huffed out a breath when you saw the first photo he’d posted of the two of you. The last day of filming, snuggled up in bed. My perfect match. As fucking if. You scrolled further down the hashtag and then back to his photo. The queasy feeling was lessening, being replaced with frustration and anger. Why would he have agreed to the arrangement if his crush was real? Why wouldn’t he have come up with some excuse? You’d expected him to say no anyway, it wouldn’t have surprised you or upset you and they’d had made it clear that you had the option to say no. Who was he to indulge his fantasies about you like this? Without telling you. Was he so sadistic as to enjoy torturing himself like that? If you could only ask him why. Ask how long he’d felt like that. But you couldn’t without admitting to eavesdropping and you couldn’t put an end to it anyway. You were stuck. It was enough to make you want to scream. With a long exhale you made your way to the kitchen for a calming cup of tea. As you reached into the cupboard for a mug your fingers brushed against a handle of his, the one you’d painted for him. You pulled it out and examined the lyrics you’d so carefully lettered. Why’d you have to pick that song of all things? Did he take it as encouragement that you’d picked a song with such lovelorn, infatuated lyrics? You had the sudden urge to smash the mug against the bench top. But you refrained, putting it back and grabbing another.

By the time you were getting ready to meet Ben for the dinner before the argument you were fed up with him and the whole arrangement. You couldn’t open a social media app without seeing a comment or a direct message from someone about Ben, if not from the man himself. You had no one you could talk to about it since, aside from Ben, Mary and Peter were the only people who knew your relationship was fake and neither of them was going to put an end to it if Ben wasn’t uncomfortable enough to mention it himself. Once or twice you’d considered messaging Joe, since he apparently knew everything too, but you’d chickened out every time, not sure how to go about it since you’d never met him and he was likely to tell Ben, even if you swore him to secrecy. You’d even considered telling Felicity but, though you trusted her to keep it to herself, she was kind of getting on your nerves too. Whenever you saw or heard from her, her first questions were always about Ben. She was mostly well intentioned, checking that you were happy and asking how things were between you, but sometimes she was closer to straight up gossiping – updating you on the odds given to those betting you’d still be together by the end of the month, slyly telling you what the latest article in Heat implied. And every time you were reminded of the impossible situation you found yourself in you couldn’t help but blame Ben. You wanted to have a crack at him about it, call him out for being a selfish git. But you had a job to do, and you were nothing if not professional. You went over the plan again – a snippy comment about him not putting the toilet seat down, he’d say something about a bad habit of yours, you warning him no to start something, him starting something anyway by suggesting you weren’t as invested since you refused to meet his family. Lots of crossed arms and unhappy glances and then the strained suggestion you leave. You’d walk back to his car in silence and let the photographer get a few shots before you got in and drove away. Easy.

Ben greeted you outside the restaurant with an easy grin and a complement. “Tone it down, Ben, we’re not meant to be too happy tonight.” “Hey, I’m allowed to be happy until we get into it,” he stopped talking as you went inside and found your table, waiting until the waiter had disappeared with your drink orders before he said anything more to you, “You nervous?” “Not really. It’s just acting.” “So having a public spat doesn’t bother you but you almost lost your lunch over our first date?” You looked down at the menu, “That was just because the whole situation was new and I felt weird about going on a date with you.” “Right,” he looked at his menu too. You didn’t care if it had sounded mean or if he took it personally, it was the truth, “Are you nervous?” “A little.” “Any particular reason?” “Uhh,” he drew the sound out as long as he could, “I just get more nervous before argument scenes than love scenes. I don’t know why. They’re harder to make convincing maybe?” He shrugged and made a face like it was a random suggestion pulled from thin air and not an excuse he’d come up with while stalling for time. You put the menu down and tapped your fingers on the table, looking around at the other patrons but barely taking notice of them. Ben glanced at you but only for a second. It was a relief when the waiter returned with your drinks and asked for your orders, though that didn’t help the strained silence that fell once he’d left again. “So, seen Felicity lately?” Ben asked, making a valiant attempt at polite conversation that you weren’t going to rise to. “The other day.” “How is she?” “Fine.” “That’s good. She still subscribed to Heat?” “Unfortunately. Brings you up every time I talk to her.” You huffed. Ben sighed. Even that annoyed you. You bit your tongue to stop from saying something bitchy before the food arrived. There was a plan to stick to. “How’re you going with auditions?” Ben tried again. “Okay I guess.” “Any callbacks?” “Not yet. You?” “A couple,” he shrugged, “You’ll get one soon, I’m sure. You’re too good an actress not to.” “Yeah, maybe.” Ben took a sip of his drink and sighed again, the noise grating on you, “What’s got into you tonight, Y/N?” He leaned forward and dropped his voice so as not to be overheard, “I know we’re meant to argue but you’re obviously not in a good mood anyway. Did something happen?” “Nothing, Ben. Everything’s fucking peachy.” “Doesn’t really sound like it.” “Drop it Ben.” “Fine. Suit yourself.” He leaned back in his chair and took another drink. You took a drink too, staring at the other side of the room. You hoped that the hired paparazzi was in position and getting some good shots.

The food arrived and you forced yourself to eat some of it, though you didn’t feel like it at all. Ben tried again to get you talking, asking how your meal was but you gave him another short answer. You stopped trying to eat and just moved the food around your plate. He took another drink and gave you a concerned look, “Y/N, if this is about something I’ve done, can you please just tell me.” You couldn’t hold back anymore, all thoughts of the plan, of the argument you were meant to be having, gone, “Of course it’s about something you’ve done.” “Then tell me what it is so I can try to change it.” “You can’t change it Ben.” “Not if I don’t know what we’re talking about. Just talk to me. Do I leave the toilet seat up? Do I load the dishwasher wrong?” He was trying to pull you back on track, “Whatever it is I can fix it. I never want to upset you.” His last sentence was said with such sincerity that you felt your chest constrict, “That’s what I’m talking about Ben. It’s too much.” “Babe,” he reached across to grab your hand but you pulled it back out of his reach, “What do you mean?” “I mean this – us, you and me. You’re so earnest and I can’t keep….” “Y/N, don’t.” “I can’t keep pretending that everything is okay Ben. Not when you’re posting on Instagram that we’re a perfect match and you’re calling to check up on me and acting like we’re super fucking serious. You’re clingy and needy and I can’t keep pretending I love you as much as you love me.” You bit your tongue before you could say anything more you shouldn’t and stood up, “I’m sorry. I need some space.” Ben looked completely stunned only managing to blurt your name out once you’re back was to him. With a hand over your mouth you hurried from the restaurant, able to feel the eyes of everyone in the room burning into you. There was a clatter of cutlery as Ben stood up behind you. but you didn’t know if he’d followed. You didn’t turn back.

[taeguboi]

BTS Crush On You: Truth or Dare [Jin version]

I decided to make another series to keep myself occupied with as I also make my other series ‘a care package to you’ 

This one is a mixed sleepover with the boys and some of your girl friends in which [member’s name] has a crush on you.

I seem to keep starting with Jin hahah oops oh well

Crush On You: RM // Suga // J-Hope // Jimin // V // Jungkook

Care Package To You: RM // Jin // Suga // J-Hope // Jimin // V // Jungkook

New Fiction Masterlist here

The initial scenario

Tonight had been planned for ages. You, all your girl friends and the boys. Everyone had been so busy lately with their heavy schedules of work, studying, the lot and everyone agreed that on the next night they were all available, you’d have a sleepover at one of your friend’s shared student houses (which was to be free with it being the holidays,) just like old times and to take time out from your young adult lives.

For some reason, you were never too old to be playing the classic game of truth or dare. In the spacious living room, already in your pyjamas, the group of you sat in a wide circle, some on the floor, some on the sofa, and sleeping bags were scattered everywhere. Many drinks had been consumed and now a space in the middle had been cleared for one of your empty bottles.

One of your friends spins the bottle and you all watch to see who it chooses….

Dare

“Alright, Seokjin-hyung…” begins Jungkook as the bottle spins to the eldest boy’s direction. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare” replies Seokjin.

“I dare you… to kiss y/n” says Jungkook, knowing something that the rest of you don’t. 

A while ago, Jin had accidentally let it slip out to Jungkook when the former had had a few to drink after the two were at the end of a night out with you and y/f/n. 

They had just seen that the two of you got to your door safely from the taxi and throwing themselves back into the taxi, Jin started acting a bit what Jungkook thought as odd.

“She’s a good un’ that one” began Jin.

“Who? Y/f/n?” asked Kook.

“What? No, I mean Y/n” slurred Jin.

“So you’re saying y/f/n isn’t a, quote, ‘good un’’?” chuckled the younger.

“You… you know what I meant” sighed Jin, feeling rather sleepy sat on the taxi seat, his head wobbling with the bumps of the road.

“I suppose… So did something happen back there? I mean for you to be talking about specifically y/n like this…”

“I wish!” boomed a drunken Jin then becoming aware of the volume of his voice. Jin cleared his throat, opened his eyes, sat up and started again. “What I meant to say is… she’s… nice… you know….”

“Oh my goodness, Seokjin! You have a thing for y/n….” replied Jungkook only to be interrupted by a prolonged -

“SHHH!”

Ever since this little admission, Jungkook - only very occasionally - would tease his hyung. Whilst he kept it to himself, Jungkook would often startle Jin by the things he said, often putting the elder on edge that his big secret would get revealed.

At first Jin tried to laugh it off like ‘I was drunk’ and ‘I didn’t know what I was saying…’ but Kook knew better; he had always believed that a drunk mind spoke a sober mind and that when his friend was trying to laugh it off, there wasn’t an ounce of truth in his eyes whenever he tried to say he didn’t like you as more than a friend.

Back to the game, Jin could feel his heart flutter; he had always wanted to kiss you ever since he realised his feelings for you, but now it was actually going to happen, he had a sudden urge to make his excuses and leave the room. But he didn’t.

“Uh…” is all he can nervously say. “So, how do you, like, want to do this?” he asks you awkwardly, rubbing his neck.

Now this causes most of the group to laugh out loud. Not in a horrible way; Seokjin had kissed many girls and the group had him down as quite the expert on the subject… why was he being so shy now?

“Oh come on Jin, really?” laughs one of your friends, unable to believe what she just heard.

“Hey!” he exclaimed defensively. “I was trying to be polite!” he continues folding his arms.

You can’t help but join in with a small giggle because bless him, but then you interrupt the laughter. 

“Okay, thank you Seokjinnie for being so considerate” you smile, nodding excessively to prompt the noise to quiet down. You stand up and walk over to him and sit next to him as Taehyung who is sitting next to him shuffles over to make space.

The next thing Jin knows, you’re already initiating the kiss. Whilst he can hear a few of your friends going “wahey!” and all the rest, he suddenly feels like this whole sleep over is some sort of dream because of how surreal this feels.

But now he’s a little worried. Even whilst kissing you, all of his initial worries run through his mind but even more exaggerated. What if this makes the friendship weird? What if he acts weird? Are you even enjoying this? What if the look in his eyes after you kiss him gives everything away about his feelings?

Although all this runs through his mind, he actually manages to keep his cool because what you see and feel is a completely different story. You wouldn’t even guess that he is feeling flustered; no shaking, no general awkwardness, nothing like that.

Afterwards, Jin does his best not to overthink any of what just happened. After all, that wouldn’t be good for his brain, and after all… it was probably nothing to you.

Truth

This part is much longer than the dare lmao I’m sorry

It’s a few hours after the game of truth or dare and most of your friends have dozed off now, asleep in their sleeping bags or passed out on the sofa from staying up so late. Jin however, couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. It was only a dare kiss, so why was it everything he imagined?

You’re still sitting next to your friend Seokjin and you found you were having trouble sleeping after trying to at least doze off. Maybe it was the hard floor that made it difficult or the sudden shiver down your spine that made you feel chilly since 15 minutes ago… maybe it was something else.

You get up to pour a glass of water, hoping that someone else might be awake and show that they acknowledge you are, but there isn’t much response as you return to you sleeping bag - apart from a movement from Jin’s sleeping bag.

“Hey, ‘Jin?” you whisper, causing him to shuffle again. “Are you still awake” you ask in an even quieter voice.

“I’m awake” he replies, turning over to see you, eyes squinting a bit at the light still on in the room. He must have had his eyes shut longer than he thought despite not actually falling asleep.

“I can’t sleep” you tell him.

“Me neither”

“You wanna talk or something?” you ask unknowingly simply holding that glass of water… okay it was a beer, you got a beer instead.

Talk? You want to talk? About what? Inside, he panics a little, yet on the outside he manages to calmly reply “sure” as he sits up.

The two of you spend the next hour or so talking the night away about everything and anything. How this was a nice catching up session amongst your group of friends, stuff about your jobs and studies, how drunk Jimin got tonight and the antics he got up to, the latest episode of a tv series you both like.... How tonight was fun....

“You know what?” you say, grabbing your beer bottled which was emptied a good half hour ago now. “Let’s continue the game of truth or dare...”

“But everyone’s asleep y/n; there aren’t exactly many dares we could do that wouldn’t wake them up...”

“Well y/f/n seems to have fallen asleep with her phone in her hand, unlocked...” you joke

“Y/n!” exclaims Jin through his teeth “We’re not sending fake messages from our friends to their mums” he laughs softly.

“Okay, okay...” you sigh, a little disappointed despite your idea being in jest. “How about we take in turns, just truths?”

“Alright then” replies Jin, no idea how he’s managing to keep his cool, though he can feel his cheeks heating up a little.

“Would you rather...”

“I thought this was turth or dare?” he asks. “Well, truth or truth” he corrects himself.

“Well... you will have to answer truthfully” you reply, bringing a small smile smile to his face. “Would you rather be the funniest person in the room or... the most intelligent?”

Before he answers, Jin involuntarily has a quick something of a reality check. You’re talking normally to him, he can talk normally to you. He can and will just talk to you as a friend and not worry about this. He will just be himself.

“Aren’t they really one in the same?” he asks puzzling you a little.

“Are they?” you question.

“Yeah, to be funny, you have to have some intelligence, right?”

“What about slapstick comedy?” you fire back at him.

“What about the fact that I am already both of those things and therefore I don’t need to choose?” he jokes, placing the back of a hand under his chin to pose.

“Modest!” you chuckle. “Alright I’ll leave the ‘would you rather’ thing for another time... Let’s see...” you hum trying to think of a question, and then you can’t help but wonder about earlier. You aren’t sure why this thought comes to you but you kind of wanna know...

“How was earlier for you?” you blurt out, mouth acting ahead of your mind.

“Shh!” he hushes you, not unsimiliar to the way the hushed Jungkook in car that night. 

“Sorry” you whisper apologetically, hand over your mouth.

“No, I’m sorry, sorry it was just a bit loud and it might have woken the others... Uh what I meant to say was....”

And then Jin stops again and his mind has another sort of reality check / epiphany; this is silly. He’s a grown man and he’s been living in this carry on of never talling you or even showing you how he feels, keeping it all inside, hung up on someone who might not even like him back in that way... is this one of those ‘now or never’ situations??

He hadn’t noticed how long he had paused for until you took him away from his thoughts by saying “Jin? Seokjinnie..??? Seokjin Kim..??” You wave a hand in front of his face, wondering if you can get him out of his trance. Is he just tired, or...?

“Sorry” he apologises again, gently moving your hand away from in front of his face and resting it down, leaving his hand on top of yours.

“Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?” he asks you.

In return, you give him a confused expression; what did he mean by that?

“Sorry, I’m royally fucking this up” he apologises - again.

“Okay, firstly just stop saying sorry” you nervously laugh because again, bless him.

“Okay, sorry” he replies making the both of you laugh quietly again.

“What’s up?” you ask

‘Right. Now or never’ he reminds himself internally and again, his thoughts put him on a delay and leave another silent patch.

“Please just answer the question” you plead as you start to worry if it was actually that bad for him that he doesn’t know how to tell you.

“Okay, it’s like this” replies Jin with a sigh to prepare himself to answer the question truthfull just as you had asked.

“Oh God, you hated it didn’t you?” you mumble with dread.

“No!”

“Shh!” you hush, mirroring the way Jin had just hushed you.

“So when you said did I enjoy earlier, you meant...”

“Yes, the kiss!” you quietly exclaim, getting impatient for the answer.

“And you’re sure it didn’t weird out our friendship?” he asks, still beating around the bush. However, he quits stalling upon seeing the unimpressed expression on your face. “Right... here goes... That kiss... that kiss felt... amazing” he admits, finally.

“Phew!” you sigh with relief. 

“I believe it’s your turn for our little game of truth or truth, so... I’d like to ask you the same question: How was earlier for you?”

“I... liked it too”

“Only ‘liked’ it?” he challanges with a smile. “Maybe I need to remind you of how earlier was for you...”

“Maybe you do” you smirk, almost mischeivous in the way you smile back at him.

“Maybe I do” he smirks back, hand hovering over your cheek.

You guide Jin’s hand to stay cupping your face, and you both lean in for first a quick kiss, then another short kiss, followed by grins on your faces, followed by more kissing...

...followed by one of your friends waking up. It’s Jungkook.

“Oh my god! Yes!” he blares excitedly. “Guys! Wake up! It’s finally happening!”

*******

Crush On You: RM // Suga // J-Hope // Jimin // V // Jungkook

Care Package To You: RM // Jin // Suga // J-Hope // Jimin // V // Jungkook