#I actually just downloaded it again cuz i have a new phone and thought maybe thatd work but i couldnt even get past the loading screen😔
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anyone remember star project? that was such a fun game....
#one of my favorite otome games and I thought it was so cool it was available to play online for free#except one day the website just. shut down...#I only ever finished yoon's storyline bc there was one other guy?? and his story was still unfinished or smthn#yoon was such a good boy though#a few years back I think there was an app released but it kept glitching so I couldn't play it#I actually just downloaded it again cuz i have a new phone and thought maybe thatd work but i couldnt even get past the loading screen😔#the app actually shut down too so it hasn't updated in a while so my phone is too new rip#oh well. maybe ill be able to play it again one day#i got nostalgic ab it randomly bc of an adhd spiral lol
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So It's been like 2 months now since I started using the dumb phone. I had a few teething problems but I've actually solved a lot of the issues I mentioned in my last post. I've gotten much more used to the keyboard now and I've found a lot of shortcuts that i didn't realise were there at first so I'm now texting like a pro again.
The audiobook situation is not perfect but i've loaded this thing with a 32 gig SD card, and I found a wonderful opensource program called Libation, which scans my audible account, downloads my books and spits them into chapters all in one step. The bonus side effect of this is that I now have all of the books I've paid for stored on my computer hard drive where they won't disappear is audible changes their minds about hosting them.
This is probably very illegal and you should definitely not download it here: https://getlibation.com/
Granted, the books I'm currently listening to have chapters that are an hour long or so, and I can't exit out of the mp3 player without losing my spot. This has honestly been a blessing in disguise because it forces me to not be distracted every time I get a text message. have to wait for the end of the chapter before I can look at it. I can answer the phone without losing my place.
So yeah. the MP3 player could be better, and honestly there's no reason why it shouldn't be, I'm certain this thing has the capability, it's just shitty programming. But I'm dealing.
More significantly though. I've honestly been surprised at just how quickly my need to scroll has just gone. there wasn't even much of an adjustment period. for a couple of weeks I'd find myself occasionally picking up up my phone, unlocking it, and then locking it again and putting it down cuz there's nothing on there. But very quickly I just don't do that anymore. I don't even think about it that often. All the anxiety that I thought I was soothing, all the noise in my head that I thought i was turning off by scrolling, has just gone. The call was coming from inside the house, guys.
About once a week I come to my laptop and scroll tumblr for a few minutes, maybe half an hour, and I'm using pintrest very rarely if it's the best search engine for something I'm looking up, and I use facebook only for marketplace and my business page, and instagram again only for my business. It's forcing me to be very intentional about those things.
I've also rediscovered my ability to sit and stare into space. I haven't had the brain capacity to read a book with my eyes recently, so over breakfast I'm just... sitting and eating. Which I suppose is quite mindful. but also I'm just spacing out so maybe not. But that's something I haven't been able to do for a long time. It's nice.
I do need to get a camera though I think. I do need it for the business, I can't keep stealing my husband's phone to take pics, and sometimes he's not around when I want to make a post. Also I just like taking photos. The camera in the phone is sufficient for sending pics of things I found in the shops to my husband and sister, or sending my timesheet to my boss because his shitty software won't let me clock in on PC. But it's not good enough for product pics or anything like that.
I'm also now carrying my planner/journal/filofax thing around with me which is something i've been working toward doing for a long time. I don't have access to google calendar while out and about now so I need to write down my appointments properly. I bought a new bag that fits my journal, purse and book. I feel very cute using my planner in public.
So yeah. It's going well so far. I think this may be feasible as a permanent change.
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Road trip w/ Kaminari, Shinsou and Bakugou
Request: Shinso, Kami, and Bakugou on a long trip/plane ride with their S/o? Happy holidays bb! - 🥐
I wish I could go on a trip. I need Christmas break to last longer, I’m not ready to go back to school and study for uni, I’m not emotionally capable. I hate it here.💖💖💖
masterlist II rules
warnings: fluff
Kaminari Denki
-You have a mini fight about who gets to drive at first.
-You don’t trust him because he is dumb and bisexual and he believes that you’ll fall asleep ont he wheel cuz you stayed up until like 2 am the previous day downloading music and making playlists for the journey.
-He gets to drive the first shift and it goes relatively well.
-You get some extra sleep, he enjoys his time behind the wheel and boom you’re now at a gas station having brunch before hitting the road again.
-Karaoke driving.
-I think that’s all I have to say about your road trip with this guy.
-HE will ignore the playlists with the soft songs because he needs to vibe at first.
-Kills it with the Shakira impressions like you start wondering what would happen if he suddenly decides to follow a music career like Jiro.
-So many bathroom stops.
-Does this man have a prostate problem because damn.
-He can’t go for more than an hour without stopping to pee.
-The one time you ask to stop at a gas station for a bathroom break he suggests just stopping at the side of the road and you could pee there.
- “I do it so you can too.”
-Denki honey I don’t have a dick to wip out…...I need essentials.
-May or may not have taken the wrong exit at some point and you took a thirty minute detour.
-At least you got some nice photos out of it.
-Speaking of photos.
-Your camera roll will be filled with selfies, stupid videos of Kami hyping himself up at a red light.
-Races with other cars at said red lights.
-You fear for your life most of the time, grasping the door handle like your life depended on it because in reality it kinda did.
-You beg him to take over and drive for a little bit but he brushes you off.
- “You seem tired baby, let me drive for a bit.”
- “Nope I’m perfectly fine Y/N. Gonna get us to the hotel so fucking fast.”
- “Denki no-”
-He calms down after a while, and he lets you put on your soft playlist so you could both just vibe.
-His hand is resting on your thigh, giving it a few firm squeezes every now and then.
-He likes drumming the beat of the song on your skin.
-You start random conversations about anything and everything and if you’re being honest you love these types of moments.
-There are no villains to fight, no danger in the horizon *apart from his driving* and you get to enjoy the tranquility while enjoying the ride.
-Denki starts telling you about adopting a dog and you joke that he would be a horrible dog dad.
- “Maybe cats are better for you babe.”
-You are no longer heroes.
-You are just a couple going on a road trip, away from all your troubles and worries just you and him.
-You reach the hotel later than you expected though…..it was those damn bathroom breaks!!!
Shinsou Hitoshi
-The trip is spontaneous.
-You were both chillin in your apartment when he popped the question.
- “Wanna go on a trip? I’m bored.”
-You never expected him to pick a place this far away, you weren’t complaining though.
-Road trips with him are immaculate.
-He helps you pack your bags in no time, picking your favorite outfits out and placing them in your travel bags along with a bunch of snacks and a fluffy blanket.
-You hit the road in less than an hour.
-It’s still dark out when you start your trip and Hitoshi insists you take a nap, get your beauty sleep while he drives.
- “Don’t worry we won’t crash, I hope.”
-You do take a nap eventually but not for long and you wake up just in time to watch the sunrise with your boyfriend.
-He will pull over and take pictures with the sunrise as your background.
-He says he needs a new wallpaper on his phone and there’s an empty picture frame at his desk back at work.
-He needs to fill them somehow.
-Around noon he brings the fluffy blanket in the front seat, wrapping it around you so you can snuggle and possibly fall asleep again.
-In reality he wants to take more pictures of you with drool dripping down your chin for blackmail purposes but you will not yield !!!
-The trip is mainly filled with music and low humming coming from the both of you.
-Though when a love song that reminds him of you comes on he will lean over and grip your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze, a blush blooming on his cheeks.
-Makes many stops in spots that look great for photos or having an amazing view.
-Definitely has prepared a picnic basket and before you know it you are munching down on some sandwiches he made while your feet are dangling over a small cliff you happened to come across.
-Shares random facts about nature and animals with you.
-Shinsou strikes me as a guy who watches a lot of documentaries and animal planet shows, so he has obtained random information and now he is explaining the mating cycle of penguins.
-Would definitely prefer to sleep in the car and not rent a room.
-He wants to stay outside looking at the stars for as long as possible and then snuggle up with you in the driver's seat, your head against his chest and his hand buried in your hair.
-If you want to go to a hotel because you feel more comfortable, he won’t complain.
-As long as he gets to cuddle you anything is fine in his book.
-He puts on YOUR song while you are looking at the sky and invites you to dance with him.
-Wraps his arms around your waist and slowly sways you back and forth, following the rhythm of the song as he looks into your eyes.
-He loves capturing the moment so expect many photos to be taken and a bunch of videos of you two dancing.
-He has his crackhead moments though so you can expect to be shoved into the water if you’re near a lake or at the beach.
-He might draw a mustache on you while you sleep but don’t worry you get payback when he is asleep.
Bakugou Katsuki
-Whines while you back everything.
-And when I say whines I mean he grumbles under his breath about this stupid shirt that he can’t seem to fold correctly.
-Anyways once you hit the road he is more relaxed than usual.
-He keeps this tight, aggressive persona out in public you sometimes forget that this man, this amazing partner is also a pro hero who is known for his rough edges.
-Sure, his explosive behavior doesn’t disappear when he is with you but he is a lot tamer and calm around you.
-During the car ride he makes small talk with you, sharing random events from his patrols and stupid shit his “squad” have done while out in public.
-When he comes home every night he is just so tired that many details slip his mind as he recounts his day to you, seeing him right now a genuine smile gracing his lips as his only focus is the road in front of him really warms your heart.
-He becomes more affectionate.
-Hand gripping yours while he drives or his palm on your thigh, rubbing your soft skin as he hums along with the music.
-Even if he needs to switch gears he won’t let go.
-Surprisingly he is the type to put on an audio book after a while.
-Usually it's after your wedding song is over or soon after that.
-Your song is like a trigger and suddenly sophisticated Bakugou emerges asking you to pick an audiobook from his collection and put it on.
-Gets really invested in the story and pauses it every five minutes so you can discuss it.
- “She could have escaped through the window why the fuck did she let herself get caught?”
- “No Katsu!!! She needs to make sure the prince is alive!!”
- “That’s fucking dumb!”
-Let’s you take candid pictures of him and won’t complain when you coo over how pretty he looks with the sun behind him.
-Don’t worry he is plotting to fill his gallery of pics of you sleeping.
-When you actually fall asleep he will turn the radio down and hum softly under his breath.
-If it starts raining heavily he will pull over and wait for it to calm down a bit.
-My personal headcanon is that Katsuki has a car with a skylight *if that’s what its called* so he brings the seats down and you lay there admiring the rain falling onto the glass.
-He likes talking about more serious matters when you are like this.
-From your future to what pet your future kids could have.
-If you get cold while waiting for the rain to calm down, he has a blanket on the ready.
-He places you on his chest and drapes the blanket over you, enjoying your warmth and the filling of your pulse under his fingertips.
-Might get a little emotional if a slow song is playing.
-He is just too overwhelmed by his emotions at times like these, when he can hold you and feel the pure love and adoration flow between the two of you like water.
-I love you’s are exchanged and many kisses.
-When he starts driving again he is so refreshed, it’s like a completely different person.
-Gas station stops and bathroom breaks are a nightmare cuz he keeps hyping himself up in order to go into Bakugou public mode.
-You just want your Katsuki, the cuddly Katsuki.
TAG TEAM AY:
@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @storage11037 @ezoyscorner @letscheereachotheron @wolfkid22 @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses @threeamwriting @ysatrap @yashinosakura
#Kaminari Denki#kaminari x reader#kaminari headcanons#kaminari x you#kaminari x y/n#denki x reader#Denki x you#denki x y/n#kaminari denki x reader#kaminari denki x you#shinsou hitoshi x you#shinsou x you#shinsou x yn#shinsou x y#shinsou x reade#shinsou hitoshi x reader#hitoshi x you#hitoshi x y/n#hitoshi x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#bnha#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#bnha x reader
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Ask Answers (February 22nd, 2021)
Hello! Here’s another collection of anon ask answers all put together in one big post.
This might be strange considering how upbeat yall are about the fandoms for your games in general, but is there any particular trope or ship you WOULDN'T want us writing/drawing/etc. in relation to your stuff? (IE, any canon you don't want us 'overwriting' or something like that?)
Of course we would want the fan content people make to not be racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted, harmful, etc. But in terms of generally doing non-canon pairings or adding in headcanons or stuff, we really don’t mind that. People are welcome to have fun and explore their own ideas.
for the 1.2 Android update was it meant to download as a separate app? I really want to keep my previous save files but they don't show up (also thank u for the updates I'm really excited to get back into the game!!)
We had to change the name of the file and unfortunately for some phones that meant it’s treated as a brand new game. I’m sorry your saves didn’t transfer over to the new version. You can try to look up your specific phone and see if there’s a way to access save files for games on your device and then transfer those saves over to the new build manually. It may or may not be possible.
I'm having some trouble figuring out how to get the update from Itichio without losing my save files? Is it the same game or a folder I can put in the properties? Sorry if this question is not worded well or if this isn't the avenue you'd want to take technical questions on
Are you using Android? If so, the above answer may apply to you. If you’re on PC or Mac, the save files will automatically still be included.
Hey. I really loved playing our life. It was a fun experience and I never thought I would like it this much. I do have a question, I am currently replaying the game and I am choosing choices I never chose at first. In step 2 during the road trip arc, I decided to ask Cove about what he liked to see on people. One of his response was anklets and black eyes. My MC have just happens to have black eyes. Do Cove say black eyes cuz my mc have it or it was just a coincidently programmed into the game?
He uses your eye color intentionally! If you changed your eye color he’d change what he said.
Will step 4 have 10 moments like steps 1-3?
Step 4 is only an epilogue. It plays like the openings/endings of the earlier Steps where it’s a bunch of scenes all in a row, there aren’t any individual Moments.
hi! who was/were the artist(s) for our life?
&
who is the artist for Our Life: Beginning and Always?
Main Sprite and CG Artist: Addrossi
Main Background Artist: Vui Huynh
Main Interface Artist: Winter Slice
Other artists who helped out can be seen in the credits of the game.
In the new ol, there are two main love interests... Would it be possible to pair them together or is that weird?
You can’t stay single and pair them together. If we are going to add all the extra content to have a route where the two LIs get together, it’d be a full poly route where them and the MC were all dating. And that’s not a for sure option yet because it’d add a lot of extra complications. But either way, in OL the relationships all gotta be about the MC, haha.
In OL2, there will be extra LIs in form of DLCs? Like Dexter and Baxter.
Maybe! We’ll see how it goes.
Since Cove will have 2 diff body types in s4, will the storyline and dialogs reflect this? Or all of it will be the same? Btw love the game and sorry for bad english. Hope this doesn't sound rude 😅
Some descriptions and pieces of dialog will change, but it won’t impact the story really. And you don’t need to apologize! It’s all good.
Will you ever release the transparent sprites of the Our Life characters?
Probably not, I’m afraid. They’ve got a lot of pieces and it’d just be kind of hard to deal with, aha.
Something I was curious about, what was your inspiration for making a game with so much customization?
Initially, the idea was just about having a romance where you actually grew up with the LI. But it was pretty stressful to try deciding how fast the relationship would progress with it taking place over such a long period of time and with no real storyline carrying it. People might not wanna play a game where the characters don’t get along as kids, but other people might not bother with a game where kids immediately liked each other. So the obvious answer came, just let the player pick themselves how it goes. From there we simply continued to add more flexibly with the MC due to the same thought process of wanting to make sure people were onboard with how their life was going.
What made you decide to change the artstyle for ol 2 so much? I of course respect all your decisions and will buy the shit out of everything related to ol 2, but i love the original style and i m honestly not a fan of the styles shown on patreon, despite me liking the painterly style in general. (I don t mind the style being changed, just that the examples shown so far all feel like there s something wrong with them.)
We’ve always used different art styles for each of our projects. They all have distinct looks from each other. It’s just nice to do something new. I’m glad you really like how the first game looks, though. And those samples were only general concepts, rather than the exact options being decided between. We wanted to see reactions to different options. The art style we’re going with won’t be exactly like those, though I personally like all of them. I think players are gonna enjoy the style Our Life: Now & Forever when it’s revealed.
Hey! Is it ok to ask what gender ourlife2 protagonist will be and if we'll be given the same opportunity to customize an MC? Totally understand if you're keeping this under wraps for now if u don't wanna say!
OL2 will have the same type of MC customization as OL1, but even more refined! So their gender will be up to you.
Hi! I happened upon Our Life on Steam by pure chance. It is such a great game, I am super excited about the DLC, and I just want you all to know that you are awesome! :D I have a question, and I'm sorry if it's been asked before. Do you have plans of making more games similar to Our Life, with customizable player character? The customizable player character was probably the one thing I personally have been desperate for in romance VNs. So glad there finally is one and would love to see more.
Thank you! And yep, we do have plans for more games like Our Life, most notably is another game in the franchise- Our Life: Now & Forever. We’ll also likely have other, non-OL, games with customizable MCs, though we may still have some games with set MCs in the future as well.
On the patreon dlc just curious but is it possible to play it without actually sleeping together/getting the nsfw content? I just want to spend more time with Cove
Yeah, you can still choose not to go that far. Though the event is shorter if you pass on the 18+ stuff.
At the beginning of Step 2, did Cove end up accidentally falling asleep in your bed? Or did he fall asleep on the floor?
He fell asleep sitting on the floor with his body/head leaning against the side of the bed.
This may seem like a weird question, but what exactly is the difference between "direct" and "relaxed" on the comfort scale?
Direct is blunter and more teasing, relaxed is lighthearted and goes with the flow.
can the MC have tattoos in step 3?
Not in Step 3, but you can in Step 4.
how would Cove react if he visited somewhere like North Carolina in winter where it can get in the 20s(F) at night sometimes?
He would be shocked and unprepared for what serious coldness is really like, haha. The poor beach baby would wanna go home.
Hello! I just joined the PATREON!! It’s amazing! I love your games! I have a question, approximately how much after will the nsfw be out? After or before the dlc 3 and step four? Sorry my English isn’t the best!❤️❤️❤️
Thanks so much! The NSFW DLC will be out after the Step 3 DLC but before Step 4. And you don’t need to apologize for that ^^.
This might be obvious but, will step 4 have dlcs? Also, where will the nsfw dlc happen? Won't bother me at all if it s in in our or his house but i do think it d be moderately funny
Step 4 will have the Cove Wedding DLC and the Derek and Baxter romance DLCs each add a lot of new content to Step 4, though they’re also partially set in Step 2 and Step 3 respectively. The NSFW DLC happens in Cove’s room.
I keep wondering what would've happened if Mr. Holden met Lizzie first instead of the MC. I can't see that turning out well somehow lol.
It wouldn’t have made a difference. He met the MC’s parents first and they told him about their two kids. He wanted the MC specifically to be Cove’s friend because the two were the same age.
Even though we have a way to go I'm really excited for OL 2! I was curious though, is the next main character going to be adopted again? I thought it was really clever to make the first main character adopted so when players are customizing, they can make them look how ever they like without worrying about pesky genetics. Just wondering!
The OL2 MC is not adopted. We wanted to go for a new dynamic. Instead their parents are their biological single mother who is partially customizable and an off-screen sperm donor father. So the mom will look generally like the MC and any other traits not from her can be assumed to come from whoever the father was.
—– —– —–
Thank you so much for all the asks ^^
FAQ If you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
#our life#Our Life Beginnings & Always#ourlifeba#ask#gb patch#gb patch games#Our Life: Now & Forever
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So today was hard but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. My Uncle Jerry gave my mom some good news in regards to Tim looks like they're getting his oxygen levels close to where they should be in they're going to try a few different things which is good. Uncle Jerry is going to let Mom and I take him to the dollar store tomorrow that's good get him out of the house and stuff. Apparently my mom told him my adventure with the rat for my job today and it made him laugh so that's a good thing.
I am still worried about Tim I send him text messages and sometimes audio clips you know just reminding him to fight and get better and get the hell out of that hospital so I've kind of fallen off the wagon and bought a few packs of cigarettes last couple weeks and I've been doing the thing that I used to do back in the day where you pack your cigarettes when you open them you take one cigarette out you flip it upside down you put it back in the pack and it's here lucky cigarette you smoke that one last and then she lied it you make a wish. There are times in the last year where that wishes I'm sure as you all know focused on the redhead. Sometimes it's focused on my kids, but the last few weeks when I would have a pack of cigarettes and I wouldn't have the lucky cigarette that wish obviously was for my hand and I guess I'm going to switch it to Tim and I hope it works.
I did not get a whole lot of sleep last night Jackie checked in on me before I went to bed which was very nice and Tiffany talked to me for a while which was also nice but I only slept for like an hour or 45 minutes at a time and then I get up and I'd go outside and I'd smoke and I'd watch the rain and the lightning and it just wasn't a full night's sleep.
I did wake up to a message from one of those important people and I was happy to get it and it did touch me. Didn't even know I told myself that if I didn't hear from that person by midnight last night I was just going to act like they were dead, that didn't happen and I know why I didn't hear from that person last night and I'm going to take care of that problem personally. But it was still nice to hear from her today and it was nice to text back and forth and audio message back and forth because regardless of anything that has her will happen her voice is still one of the ones that calms me down and soothes me and I mean it really doesn't matter what she says she could read the phone book and I would smile. So yeah that made the day suck a little less after I went and did the rat removal which was nice that my boss called me and had me do that it got me out of the house and got my mind on something else the customers that I went to are regulars and they're nice people and I like them. So it was nice to you know see him on a day that I don't normally see them on interact with them they're very nice old couple just good people. the ones I got home from that and I got my work clothes back off and went into my room and actually at that point did finally get to take a nap I fell asleep for a few hours so I got some sleep. Which is good.
And now I'm in my room in the dark with my fans on and a very stiff moonshine drink to help me sleep and I'm downloading my day and my thoughts into this blog cuz it helps.
And yes I had my mom read what I wrote about my aunt the night that I wrote it and what I posted on Facebook about her this morning and of course you know the first thing my mom said if she didn't say it she just looked at me and I know the look and it's that look of how I should write a book or something.
And I think maybe when I get back from Wisconsin maybe I'll get a laptop maybe try start writing in different medium than here on good old tumblr. But I still also so badly want a camera I wish I knew someone had one or just didn't want one or give me one or sell me one for cheap I really want a camera camera I mean my phone takes good pictures but I want a camera because I'm really just looking at the world differently I'm really enjoying taking the pictures.
Because I kind of think I want to take pictures and then write stories or poems or verses that have to do with the pictures since a lot of times that's what inspires me anyways I don't know just throwing things out there.
So anyways yeah today was a hard day but it was easier than I thought it would be and I cried here and there I did and and I miss her I do I miss her already. And I do once again have to say thank you so the brown-eyed angel that reached out to me today didn't have to but did. And talking with that brown-eyed angel wasn't the only thing that made the day easier but it was definitely one of the things that did so thank you.
And so now I'm going to lay by these fans and try to cool off a little bit and hopefully tonight I get better sleep than I did last night and I'm looking forward to seeing my Uncle Jerry tomorrow and we'll just keep moving forward cuz it's all we can do.
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I heard from a friend and they said that they were trying to find a corned beef and cabbage meal to bring over to my place so we could have traditional Irish feast together and I was like oh my gosh I was just going to go to Conroy's by myself so if you want to go with me to Conroy's we can go out to eat if you're up to it cuz I'm up for it feeling great aside from my headache which is technologically induced so as long as I avoid technology I will continue to be feeling relatively well right right.
And so we headed to Conroy's but we got to Conroy's and they popped in and found out that it would be an hour and a half wait and they were like dude I'm just like calling Nub's pub and seeing what the weight is there like we can wait here but if Nub's pub is doing traditional feast and the wait time is shorter would you be okay not going to Conroy's and I was like dude my heart is not set on Conroy's it was just where I was trying to make plans with other people that fell through so I was just going to go by myself after all the plans fell through but calling Nub's pub they had a 20 minute wait which is exactly how long it took us to get there so we get in the door and our table is ready and I had a root beer and they had a Guinness and we feasted and it was delicious like really really good good corned beef and cabbage meal and sadly Alaska and I was like prepared to eat Irish soda bread with raisins in it which is a common preparation which I never do with my father never did I don't think I've ever eaten Irish soda bread with raisins in it in my life actually but I digress there was no Irish soda bread and so for dessert we split a creme brulee which I took like two bites of before I was like this is making me sick already and they were like yeah it's making me sick too and then proceeded to Wolf it down.
dinner conversation was delightful and my now intoxicated from one Guinness friend was much fun so we popped over to Walmart and hung out at Walmart looking at toys and clothes and I was like where's the St Patrick's Day clearance and we immediately turned the corner and there's just like a rack just a loose rack on Wheels just like hanging out just the road there and it was like well asking you shall receive and on that rack was like plenty of shirts but I have I think six St Patrick's Day shirts which is all I will need for the rest of my life I'm pretty sure because one of them is pizza I believe one of them is a tuxedo tea which I live for tuxedo tease I have several of them and I love them dearly and one of them is a luck o meter like if I was an Irish robot like oh man that one's really good and then I have the one I was wearing which is from 6th grade and I have the shirt from when well from one of the years my dad was almost always in our local Saint Patrick's Day parade and I have one of the first years that I remember seeing my dad on the float wearing that shirt I have that shirt and I'm about to cry just talking about it and I didn't find it I really wanted to wear it but I didn't find it and there's no way that it's like that it was lost or I don't have it it just has not been located since the move.
So even though there were some nice shirts I was most excited about the green leopard print leggings that have shamrocks like stealthy incorporated into the pattern OMG I cannot believe what I'm seeing unfortunately the only size options available were extra large or even bigger and I am nowhere near an extra large like I just told you I wear child shorts so I now have a pair of St Patrick's Day leggings that are super soft and comfy like those nice Walmart leggings you know like the only other pair of nice Walmart leggings that I have like this are my black and white Halloween bat pattern and the like sweater pattern Halloween that's traditional like purple orange green black white like skulls and whatever but I actually thrifted in like brand new condition and was really funny because I was trying to decide between that pair and the black and white batty very cartoon simplistic design like I would totally design those legs like I would be capable of like drawing all of those things on those leggings and slapping them on there and pushing them out into the world you know and I guess that's ultimately why I settled on that legging but it was really hard for me to decide between the other ones so when a couple of years later I came across them practically brand new at a thrift store it was like oh the heavens have smiled upon me.
I know one that have been funny if I had made the other choice and then come across the leggings that I owned and in fact could even be wearing them as I stand in a thrift store because what I do when I go to a thrift store is where the tightest clothing that I can so I can try on everything right there in the aisle which usually just entails a tight tank top and leggings.
Since we were at Walmart and I need a phone and I had money for a phone I decided to get a phone and this is a very interesting story because I talked to you several employees of several stores electronics areas to try to determine which phone I needed and I have also Google searched and ask people and try to figure out what phone I can get that will just go off Wi-Fi and we'll just play animal crossing pocket and I thought that you know I had found that and I got the phone I get it home and it turns out it's like one of the only phone that is not compatible with animal crossing pocket camp and dude dude dude mother-effing dude how we know this is my friend just like popped on to Google and the first time they ever search for this information this information that I've been trying to obtain ever since pocket camp updated to the freaking AR camera thing which knocked me out of the game it's just a list of all the phones that are compatible like like they just put in the exact right like set of words and I think that like one of the reasons that this friend gets so frustrated with me not being able to find stuff on the internet is that they don't come from an English speaking household and like somehow like that is really conducive to Google searching it is like so weird that like I'm like dude I looked for it and then they're like you're just an idiot like here it is dumb dumb and just like a list of it so I now have that list and it's not a big deal like I freaking just like collapsed when I got home and like could not get animal crossing on my phone but not a big deal I'm just going to go back to Walmart and exchange the phone for one that will work now that I have that list so that's really cool.
So really like again like synchro thing that happened is that while I was getting that phone I got a text from one of my best friends and it turns out that they are legit like contacting me to consult me about whether or not they should purchase animal crossing for the switch and like what so like after I go through this whole like oh no and then the acceptance and like it's not a big deal of my animal crossing kind of debacle on St Patrick's Day I get to talk about animal crossing for the switch and it's still all of its virtues and like I really could not think of any negative thing to say about it. And they are like oh my goodness spending $60 on a video game Mindy I don't know about this and and I'm like I really feel like it's worth it but here's what you can do to get an idea of what the vibe is like the aesthetic of playing like a very cartoony and like the interactions and just how chill it is if your phone is compatible just download the free Pocket camp one and if you like that then you will absolutely love the switch version and being able to play both of them is like heaven on Earth and that's where I'm going I'm going to heaven on Earth because as soon as I'm able I'm going to go get a phone and I'm going to be able to play Pocket camp so the next time I have a day where I cannot move any muscle in the right side of my body I cannot get up from my seat and in fact just urinating myself and my adult diaper all day in excruciating pain I will be able to play animal crossing Park camp with my left hand and only my left hand and it'll never give me a headache unlike the version on the switch does whether it's handheld or on a big TV so like I'm just like over the moon about absolutely everything and even though the day started off really rough St Patrick's Day with none of my blood family and my dad and my brother and my mom and like everything just like like that aching and that family trauma that like hasn't been cleared yet the day ended on like the highest note connecting with one of my favorite people to end my day with honestly so it was just amazing and I what did I do oh yeah I put on leprechaun 5 and I put a green filter on my TV and I tried to watch The matrix but like it kicked me back out of the app as soon as Trinity got kicked and had not gotten back up yet yeah that happened that seriously happened like that thing that I say to myself like to encourage myself through life ever since seeing that movie get up get up Trinity get up get up Trinity yeah movie gone before we even got to that line I was just aight we just rollin wif it.
right now I honestly don't even remember what I put on to fall asleep to at all which just tells you how fast I fell asleep after my head hit the pillow and my cat curled up in my arms.
No sleeping no portendum actually even and yep I slept great and I woke up today and I feel pretty great I mean I'll have to take it easy pain is a little problematic I had quite an outing yesterday but possibly because it's early enough I could I could get a second win and and be able to go get my animal crossing phone.
So that's awesome.
the level of socialization that I'm doing is like exhausting and like it's a lot but I really love it and I've never had so many friends in my life there's like maybe like seven or eight people that I want to connect with every day and that like every time I'm doing anything you know like yesterday like I want all of them right there and I don't know how to make that happen but I promise you I promise you all I'm going to get on discord I'm going to figure that out my understanding is that we can then like watch stuff together or like you can tune in to like me watching stuff or something I don't know but it's going to be more interaction with me than what you've had and I'm very happy for you of course because I know how much you love me and I know how much you miss me and I wish that I was not such a debilitatingly disabled person that I could you know be like a shining YouTube star celebrity interaction like I'm not able to juggle all of that but I love the attention I love your love and even though it it's an overwhelming amount of appreciation I am not upset about it at all and the stress that I feel of producing content and interacting with my fan base like it's a pressure that I welcome in my life because it's a motivating factor to be social and you know for my personal self is why I put my entire life online or on paper.
I don't know if you know this but for whatever reason like probably as a result of my traumatic brain injury combined with being erroneously mistakenly over medicated with antipsychotics when I was wrongfully institutionalized I kind of just like forget everything recent that happened like once I go to sleep the day before is just like almost completely gone like an edge of sketch erasing.
And that's why I document everything that goes on in my life for myself and and that's how I'm able to be even in your lives because I'm doing it for myself and my story and my life just exist as this inspiration and this motivation and this light in all of your lives the enriches me AND you so yo I've been online doing this sharing my life 100%. No such thing as TMI N D whY??!
because you need the full story of the highs and the lows and of My darkest hours and of the moments where I feel cradled in the loving arms of creation and in our intelligent creator in order to properly appreciate my story.
Instagram has been fun but as you may you're not know Instagram is something that I created solely for myself and it is entirely curated to be all of those moments where life is worth living so that when I feel like life is not worth living and become terribly suicidal because again I experience untold pain chronic debilitating disability and emotional suffering like you would not believe I can go to my Instagram scroll for like 30 seconds and then see that how I feel in the moment that that there's only darkness is not the reality and and that if I just hang in there through that darkness I'll come out of it and I'll be bouncing around on Instagram in no time soon.
those of you who know me from there like there's very little mention of any hardship in my life and that's why and it is not that I ever was trying to conceal that from you or that I ever stop my full disclosure intention that I've been here on the internet doing since 2005 and really really doing since 2008-2009 detailing the journey of my chronic invisible illness issues with chronic lyme disease traumatic brain injury endometriosis schizophrenic symptoms bipolar diagnosis borderline personality disorder diagnosis you know like the whole enchilada the whole enchilada has been here since 2009 solid.
So I'm not sure how I should go about like separating my Tumblr or tagging it really like I just want to figure out how to tag it so that I can pull up all the good stuff and all the bad stuff and kind of keep them separate but I mean that's kind of the thing of tumblers that I don't have to like do that and as long as I do decent tagging so that I can find what I'm looking for and and you can find what you're looking for then I've done my job.
I love you also much and I don't remember exactly what my follower count was on my ladyluvlee account before it was hacked & deleted(close to 5K) but I would really like to still produce the t-shirt designs that I created as appreciation for your appreciation and just with my cutie spook handle instead of Lady lovely.
I really really think we're getting close to the point where I'm going to be creating merchandise with my original drawing designs on that merchandise so be excited cuz I'm excited and thank you for hanging in here with me.
I could have done it without you because I can do anything under any circumstances but I would not want to do it without you at all because after all my years as a lone wolf sociopathic weirdo I truly believe that life is an experience that is better when it's shared.
Even when and if we don't particular like it or agree with those perspectives.
I don't seek to change your perspective I just seek to expand it and the more people sharing their experiences of life the more puzzle pieces we have of the bigger picture.
And life is a picture so big that no one person could possibly comprehend it, so we need all the perspectives we can get!
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Survey #218
“give me liberty or death. ... ah, fuck it, just give me death.”
Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Me. What is the nearest glass object to you? A cup. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm sure my mom was, but I have no clue about Dad. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. If you had to choose a new cell phone, what phone would you pick? Some sort of iPhone. I hate my Samsung. Has anyone killed one of your pets before? People have run over our cats before, but I'm certain that wasn't intentional. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. Is there a song that as soon as you hear it you are happier? At least to a degree. Do you have a push lawnmower or a riding lawnmower? We don't have one; Mom pays someone to do it. He uses a riding one, though. When was the last time someone teased you? Idr. Would you trust a vehicle that automatically parallel parks for you? Lmao could probably do it better than I could. Have you ever hit a car while parking? No, but I rarely drive anyway and never park close to others. When you are eating fast food, do you tend to get burgers or chicken? Burgers. When was the last time you used Microsoft Excel? No clue. What was the last thing that you recorded? I was WAY too excited the rare felhound mount dropped for me in WoW so I had to show Sara while I screamed lmao. Have you ever edited an article on Wikipedia? No. Do you like the show Futurama? I've never been into what I've seen. Have you ever found an arrow head? I don't remember ever having had. Have you given up any bad habits for someone? Don't think so. Who is with you? My cat's in the room, as is of course Venus. In what part of your life so far, have you learnt the most about yourself? 2017-2018, probably. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. What aggravates you most about people in general? I guess if you want to put all humans together, I guess you never know what's gonna hurt who. When they have a valid reason to be hurt by it, anyway. Are your ears pierced? Twice in each lobe and then my right tragus. What did you last say out loud? Something to Teddy about wanting so much attention. Not at all in a bad way. Do you like anything about being angry? Fuck no. Did you have a summer job this year? No. Where do you wish you were? I've been dying to be at Sara's BAD LATELY MY MAN. Do you get surprises often? No, nor do I like them. I get too nervous. Name a crime you have committed? Illegally downloading things. Do you tell people when they get on your nerves? No, not normally. You're in jail… Who bails you out? Dad, most likely, taking money into account. I don't even know if he could afford bailing someone out, though. Are your feelings hurt easily? YEAH. What’s the ultimate cake topping? Just frosting. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No. Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? Never. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? Nope. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Lol no. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? No. Have you ever needed stitches? At least twice. Have you ever been in a submarine? No. What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow? I'd say no, even if it was Sara. We're not ready for that yet. Which fictional character do you wish was real? Sobs all my favorites of everything are villains and therefore shouldn't be brought to life. Uhhhh. Idk. Maybe Harry Mason from SH 'cuz the entire human population deserves a dad like that. Do you own a lava lamp? I wish. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Yes to hot tub, but you couldn't pay me to set foot in a sauna. Have you ever had chicken pox? No. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. We would've found fossil evidence by now, I think. Who’s your favorite god from ancient history? Man, idk. I love mythology. But memory is pretty faint though so I don't remember what most did/what they stand for. What was the last present you received? Uhhhh I'm not sure. Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. I am not being a mother figure for anyone. What was your first alcoholic drink? Hard lemonade. What was your first detention for? I've only ever had detention for excessive tardies. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? No. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? EW LET'S FORGET THAT. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you like your own name? I do. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Fuck no. Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another? I mean I'd urge one to leave the other if they were abusive or not really in love or something like that. I wouldn't out of my own interests. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? The Paul brothers are fucking obnoxious trash. Is there anyone you work with that you don’t get along with? Why? N/A Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? No. Have you ever been romantically involved with a coworker? No. What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt. I understand the temptation of wanting a certain breed of pet, but you've gotta think beyond your desires here. There are so, so, SO many homeless cats and dogs especially that need homes. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, I believe. Why were you last pulled over? I never have been, thank GOD. Do you have any friends that own a private lake? I can just about guarantee no. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? It would depend on the lake. Do you have a drone? No. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? Only Mark's and his friends'. Do you know anyone who’s had their own podcast? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? The beach. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? No. What kind of music do your parents listen to? Mom loves (classic) metal and rock like me, but she also enjoys Christian music. Dad likes rock and classic metal/rock. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I mean, I'm a bad person to ask, because my PTSD is tied to my ex. My case is far more extreme. All you really can do is try to do things to distract yourself. What do you think about indoor pets? Love 'em. How it should be most of the time for most animals. Would you agree that love is blind? Very. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Yes. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? I don't think so, if I was to ever be in that situation with a man again. How many schools have you been to? Five, but I'm about to start my sixth. Do any songs give you goosebumps? I get goosebumps very, VERY easily when it comes to music. I don't even have to really like the song. What do you think about divorce? Sadly necessary in extreme cases. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? In a Reese's lol. Do you still watch any cartoons meant for kids? I don't watch TV now, but if I was still into watching shows, I'd totally still follow Pokemon. What’s your favorite kind of cereal? Man, idk. Maybe Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What were you doing the last time you were on a roof? Just sitting up there. Do you have any stickers on your car? Mom has I think one? Have you ever given someone flowers? I'll always remember this one Mother's Day where I went down our old path with my sister and friend and we picked up SO many flowers to put in a glass cup as a bouquet for Mom. So yeah. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? I don't usually search them out, but they're on my iPod, and I won't generally skip 'em if a Nirvana song comes along. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I hate seeing animals in pain and/or dying. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not at all. How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? I've never been pulled over. When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass? I've no idea. Do you enjoy plane journeys, if you’ve ever been on one? If we're just talking the ride and not the process leading up to it, and so long I've the window seat, yeah, they're fine. What’s the last movie you’ve seen in theaters and can honestly say you enjoyed? I adored the live action TLK, truly and thoroughly. I didn't at all get the hate. Like I know a common criticism is they took the realism too far (they were lacking in expression), but I liked that, honestly. It made it feel all the more real. I mean honestly, I possibly liked it more than the animated (save for the "Be Prepared" singing), and that movie is sacred to me. Have you ever seen your father cry? I've only seen him tear up like once in my life. How would your parents react if you got pregnant? They'd be confused as fuck because I'm the polar opposite of promiscuous, monogamous, advise that to only happen after marriage, and am with a girl. If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone? It's going great. We're just ready to no longer be long-distance. How big is your bed? Queen-sized. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No??????????? fucking????????????????? shit??????????????????????????????? Ever spent any time on a military base? No. Have you ever tried putting black pepper on mac ‘n’ cheese? (It’s good!) Yes, delicious. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Not our current house. We lived in the woods beforehand, and we did have mild mice problems in the winter. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Have you ever seen a volcano? Not in person. Are you a fan of Janis Joplin? I've actually never really listened to her. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. What’s the closest river to you? The Tar River. Don't mind sharing considering it's ginormous. Who were the last 3 males you talked to? My nephew, his dad, then my own dad. What was the last form of communication you used to speak to your best friend? (e.g. text message, phone call) Text. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Uhhhh I think some kind of white wine? Did you like it? Not in the slightest. What’s your favorite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? She has the cutest random little freckle on her hip. Do you remember the first CD you ever bought? I believe the first I personally wanted and got was the Swan Songs album by Hollywood Undead. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You have NOT lived until you've eaten Bojangle's fries. They have a special seasoning that is absolutely spectacular. The Bojangle's experience is so important that it's the first place we went when Sara first came here lmao. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Don't believe so. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. What is your favorite gaming console? PS2, always. What was the last major city you visited? Chicago. I mean, or Raleigh, if you count it as a "major" one. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? I only really consider Jason and Sara as "romantic" relationships. Have you ever used a leaf blower? No. What would you say is the worst part of high school, period? The shift from child to young adult. Hormones make the experience so, so much more difficult than it needs to be. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? Red. They're usually the most crisp. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? It'd either be Mom or Sara, definitely. I can't really say without being in that moment, idk. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? Fuck no. I've only ever done it once and never will again, even though the one occasion went fine. Who was the last person to call you fat, if anyone at all? Myself lmao. What color skin does the last person you danced with have? White. Has your mother ever called your school because of your grades? No. What is the worst name a friend has ever called you? Do you remember? I can promise you one has most certainly called me a bitch or worse. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? At the start of high school, I remember I'd sometimes daydream about being a guitarist, but it was never something I like, actively craved. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? *blinks* Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? No. When did you last spend the night at someone’s house? December of last year. Do you ever have to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? If I'm at Sara's. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? NO. I'm much unlike I used to be in that I prefer brightness. It actually does affect my mood; I recommend to aaaaanybody who suffers from depression to stay in a bright room. I used to live in the dark as well, and I promise, it makes a difference. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? No, and yes, especially with how incredibly paranoid I am. Do you like Gushers? Yaaaaas hunty. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have anything to worry about? LOL HUH??????? NO WORRIES??????? How old was the last child that you spoke to? Three. What is the name of the last perfume you put on? "Crazy Lady." That perfume is years upon YEARS old. It was a birthday present from Summer, and seeing as I barely ever wear perfume, it's still in my room. Expired, I'm sure, lol. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONONONONONONO. I absolutely will not drink orange juice with pulp. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I think so? How long have you had the hairbrush you are currently using? I use a comb now that we've had actually forever. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm not in school, not quite yet anyway. :') Do you know what durian is? Do you like it? No. I would never try it. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I don't know, and I don't plan on looking. Most likely some selfie. Do you like coconut flavored things? NO. Coconut is disgusting. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't think so, and I truly hope not... How often do you get a fever? Like, never. What kind of laundry basket do you use? It's just a plain, white, plastic one. As a child, did you ever have a clown or a magician at your birthday parties? I actually believe I had both. I know I had a pair of clowns once, and with how into magic I was, I would expect I've had had one. Do you have a permit or license? I have my permit. It's more than due time I work more towards my license... List all the stores you’ve been in this past month. I think the only one is PetSmart. Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No, because I was never that childish. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? My favorite! Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Most likely Pink Sands Beach in the Bahamas, but honestly I'm terrified of the Bermuda Triangle, so that's unlikely, lmao. That black sand beach in Hawaii, however, will do. Are all nighters something you have grown used to? BIIIIIIITCH I've outgrown that shit. I'm rarely up past 10 at the latest these days. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? Anything, no. Smoothies or slushies? Slushies. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Nooooooo. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I once volunteered at PetSmart during an adoption event, giving the cats and dogs attention while people visited. I absolutely fell in LOVE with a dog there that I begged Mom to get, and she came pretty close. I cried leaving, ha ha... Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? No. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Um, Ozzy????? Duh??????? My Dad???????? Is great?????????????? If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? And here you have it, the stupidest question I've seen on a survey. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah. Could you handle living with a male roommate? No, with how afraid I am of men. It'd only work if it was with a long-time bf. Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? For once, both. Do you live by yourself? No. Do you shower every day? No, it's unhealthy and I don't find every day necessary. Especially when you live my hermit life. Is English your native language? Yes. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? N/A Do you watch PewDiePie? Very, very rarely. I'm not that into his content anymore, and his humor changed from more original to heavily meme-ish. Are you married? No. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but totally not apposed. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? Yeah, some. Do you salt your popcorn? Sadly. Do you like McDonalds? Don't even try to bullshit, you don't mind McD's. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. It's a cool series though, and I enjoy watching LPs of it. Do you like horror movies? YESSSSSS my favorite. Is your favorite animal a dog? No. Do you like chicken nuggets? mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What color is the ceiling in the room? White. Do you like religion? It's interesting, but has done a shitload of evil. However, it has also made wonderful people. It depends on how you use it. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yeah. Can you twerk? Idk and idc. Do you like dabbing? It looks remarkably stupid/like you're sneezing into your elbow. Do you like fishing? I do, but I've stopped doing it. I feel too bad for the fish. Do you like sleeping? Oh fuck yeah. What do you think of Fifty Shades of Grey? Fucking disgusting, whether in book or movie format. Do you swear in front of children? No. Which Pirates of the Caribbean do you like the most? Never watched 'em. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I enjoy a lot of his music. How far out of your age bracket would you date? Once you hit 10 years, it's a no for me. Have you ever had an STD? No. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? I live in the South. Take a wild guess. Have you picked out flower petals, saying, ‘He loves me, he loves me not?' No. Do you like to pace? It's not that I "like" to, it's just a habit. What’s the greatest thing about science? Learning about the world around us. Discovering how life works. Does it annoy you when people dumb themselves down to be cool? It's not "annoying," it's just stupid. Intelligence is cool. What’s a song you like from the genre you hate? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw is a heavy exception. I adore that song. Are your parents divorced? Yeah, they separated when I was like, 16-17. Who was your first friend? Brianna. Have you ever been to Germany? Hell, I wish. What do you hear right now? I'm currently obsessed with "Brand New Numb" by Motionless In White. Have you ever been ice skating? No. Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No. Would you consider yourself a shy person? I am one of the shyest people you will ever meet in your life. Do you like techno? Yeah, actually. I've really gotten into electronic music. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Can you whistle? No. My lip ring is probably what makes me unable to anymore. How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Three. One of my knees, then over the course of two years, I believe two for my teeth at the dentist. Are you on good terms with your last ex? Yeah. Do you own an Xbox? No. Favorite Snapchat filter? I've never used Snapchat before. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. What’s the worst thing you have ever done? Depends on how you mean "worst." Most damaging to me, let myself turn Jason into a god in my head and nearly kill myself for it. As far as most immoral, probably be partially responsible for why my former best friend and her bf broke up because he wound up liking me because I was a dumb 12 y/o. What's your favorite candle scent? Probably coffee or cinnamon rolls. Do you take any medications daily? Yeah. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) An annoying combo. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) A small one. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes, I hate my last name. Last person you called? Mom. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I don't like sprinkles at all. The texture ruins treats. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom, I'm sure. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? I wouldn't say "scary," just incredibly awkward. You'd never see me do it. Would you want to be in a collab channel on YouTube? I don't even want to risk popularity, so no. Do you watch any collab channels? Which ones? Game Grumps and Sam & Colby, mainly. What colors have you dyed your hair, if any? Black, purple, and red. What is your gender and sexual orientation? Female and bisexual. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No, but they seem REALLY fun. Ever performed on stage? Was it scary or amazing or both? Yeah, many times for dance. It was really neither for me. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. Have you tried the Beyond or Impossible burger? Thoughts? No, but I want to, especially as I plan on returning to vegetarianism at one point. When was the last time you ate your all-time favorite candy? Oh wow, months. When was the last time you made friends with old enemies? Some time last year, Rachel and I reconnected. She's cool as hell now. When was the last time you took time to pray? It's been a long time. I don't believe it does anything. What is a movie that you heard about recently that you do NOT want to see? Is that "Cats" movie real or was the trailer a fever dream???? What do you do during long trips in the car? I just blare music. Best kind of music to dance to? And the worst kind of music to dance to? I really love "different" songs that warrant a modern sort of dance style. It was my favorite when I took dance, and it's by far my favorite to watch. Worst, I guess like, screamo. How would you dance???? Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? Oh my god. So I tried that new Reese's doughnut from Krispy Kreme today, and it. Was. Repulsive. A candy I actually liked, idk. I rarely ever have treats anymore. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was normal. Have you ever not given a tip at a restaurant? Why didn’t you? N/A, y'all know my money situation. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Okay, I'll admit I at least briefly pondered the possibility of getting a nipple pierced after an eternity of saying I never would lmao. I'm not, tho. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Most likely. What are your thoughts on Batman? I think it's cool he has that policy of never killing anyone, and he also doesn't have any actual powers, does he? I don't remember. The whole Batman universe (or comics for that matter) is one I don't really connect to anymore, as it was Jason's obsession, so it's a dangerous topic for me. When I say Dr. Seuss, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Green Eggs and Ham. I loooved that book as a kid. Rollercoasters that go upside down… yes please or no thank you? Hell to the motherfuckin no thanks. Is there a certain place or store you especially hate going to? Grocery stores. What was the last animal/pet that you met? There was a BEAUTIFUL standard poodle Mom and I briefly interacted with at the pet store a week or so back. Is there something in particular you always seem to forget? Straighten the shower curtain after I get out so it dries properly. When was the last time you had to wait in line for longer than a few minutes? *shrugs* Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last board game you played? I think it was all the way back when Sara, Girt, and I played Scrabble.
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1x01 / twelve oh one
TERESA:
Okay, so–it’s recording. Cool .
Um. It’s Wednesday. It’s been nine days since–eight days, maybe? –well, if you’re listening, at this point, you know what it was–Benji says we’re gonna publish this, but, like, no. That’s–that’s ridiculous. This is for science.
Or our memoirs. Whatever.
We’ve–the seven of us have decided to keep a log. Of what’s been going on.
Um. So. Cool. Name and deets, just in case some more weird memory shit goes down–My name’s Teresa. I’m eighteen. I’m an Aries, I like bowling and shitty pop music, and only mostly ironically. That enough fluff? I’m a freshman at, ah, Lands College, here in town, and. Studying journalism, with a minor in women’s studies, uh–anything else–I feel like this would be a better story if I start showing, rather than telling.
Or, like. Telling stories rather than just reading out my dating profile. Because that’s lame.
My dating profile’s actually–it’s a lot more detailed than that. I’m on, like, seven different sites, and every profile is. Very Different.
(text notification sound)
Anj, stop–stop listening in! You–you–dude, take a nap.
So. Anyway. Here’s what we know.
(long beat)
That was good, right? A good joke? That’s something. Um. Cuz we don’t know very much at all. There’s something there, I swear, like, I rehearsed that bit in the bathroom mirror this morning, and I was thinking, no, I won’t pull that, but–
But. Back to the point.
Y’know how, in movies, people are always like, “Nobody knows except for us?”
That’s so exclusive. So presumptuous. We don’t know if people are lying. We haven’t spoken to every person on the planet–we haven’t even spoken to anyone outside of Maryland. Outside of town. Like. We’ve watched news, but God knows, some of those conspiracies about hypnosis through CNN are real, or whatever. Y’know? Like–those conspiracies are almost exclusively believed in by, like, flat-earthing racists, so, like, they’re probably, definitely super wrong, but–I was making a joke and I’m overthinking it now. Cool.
Anyway. We don’t know who knows. Maybe someone in, like, Caracas, knows? Maybe someone in–you get my point–knows.
Or maybe we’re being Truman Showed. Wouldn’t be the worst theory to have come out of this.
I would–well, I’d hate it, but one time, back in middle school, the public library did these–these movie nights for teenagers, right? And, so, uh, a bunch of us were there, and I was sitting with Angie, cuz she was–she was the only person I knew there, of course, and she was sitting with these kids, like–uh, from the hippie school she had taken in, and–one of them was AJ, I know, and one was Charlotte. but the others, I don’t see anymore.
But anyway, she was, like, starry-eyed at the idea of her life being a TV show without her knowing. At the idea of unintentional stardoms. So maybe she’ll get a kick out of that theory.
Here’s something: I was working on my campaign notes earlier, cuz the group’s meeting tomorrow, should meet tomorrow and I didn’t really–I didn’t like a few of the potentials, so, whatever. Irrelevant.
I checked the time, and–well. It was twelve oh one. And two minutes later, it was still twelve oh one. And now, it’s still twelve oh one.
I thought maybe my laptop was being bad again? But it said the same on my phone, and on the wall clock.
The app says time is passing. It’s been longer than fifty-nine seconds.
It’s still twelve oh one, though, is the thing. Which isn’t great, all things considered.
But, we’ll catch up on that later.
Here’s the big thing. I went back to the beach last night to see if I could recreate what happened alone, and, uh–at least. I think I did. I don’t remember going, but, uh, Angie says I did, and AJ said that when he was closing at work, he saw me walking towards it. But I didn’t–I didn’t go.
There are sixty-nine–which, yeah, nice, that’s the sex number, whatever–sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, and, like–I can make out letters on some of them them? Individual letters? But not words. And I know that they’re making words, and I know that it’s my handwriting, but my brain just–it goes somewhere else.
And other ones, that I can read, they have dumb stuff. One of them’s just a doodle of David Hyde Pierce with a caption that just says “HELL YEAH. LOOK AT THE MOON WEDNESDAY.”
It’s, like–in fairness to me, or the person I assume to be me, it’s a fairly good David Hyde Pierce. And there’s–there’s a new moon tonight, so–well.
Whatever.
It’s still twelve oh–oop. Nevermind. Twelve oh two now. Nice.
Benji wants me to take off work until this whole thing’s sorted out. Says he’ll still pay me, but, like–being yelled at by awful dudes about trivia that nobody knows is kind of the only constant in my life right now? So I said no. Obviously. Like. It sucks, but it makes me feel normal. Like the beach out by Angie’s place did, before–
Well. Maybe some recollection would be nice, I guess. Just so, like, Danny and company–like, if we end up showing them. Cuz I’m better at sticking to the facts than, say, Robin or Charlotte. So. Yeah.
So. Uh.
Most folks know that she transferred in after a semester at–well, I’m not allowed to say the name of the school in front of her, anymore, and she’s, like, giving me death-eyes out of the bedroom door. But. A certain Ivy League school. This is relevant–
Okay, maybe not, but it’s a nice set up to our establishing shot, which is, of course, her New Year’s party, nine days ago. At her parents’ place. Or, eight days ago, at her parents’ place, I guess. She told us on New Year’s Eve that she was starting at Lands on the fourth, and I offered her a stay in my dorm, cuz I had a single, and, uh, it sucked? But. Whatever.
So I said, “You know, I have a single.” And she said–wait, lemme find my journal–yes, I do write down conversations, Angie.
Alright. She said, “Oh, really, is it on–Bandcamp, Soundcloud, iTunes, MySpace? I didn’t know you–” And I said, “I meant dorm room, dude, you mentioned–MySpace?”
She said, “I still use it.” I laughed, “Of course you do.”
But, anyway. We agreed to live together, but. It was one AM. Robin Cabell dropped by with her new fiancee, said hi, and–well, like, our babysitter’s getting married, to, like, this gorgeous girl from DC, and the high school kids from the hippie school were there, and Benji was there, cuz he’s everywhere, and–
As folks left–Angie started playing Wonderwall around 3AM, so, uh, a little bit before then–it ended up just being the seven of us. Her parents are out of town–as always. Well, not always. But frequently.
They’re mad about–Blarvardgate.
I–I didn’t say it! I said something mildly close alluding to it. Stop texting me!
But. It was just the seven of us there, Angie still playing some terrible 90s song, and–Benji says, “I brought fireworks. Forgot about that til now.” Elaine, uh, Robin’s new fiancee, asked, “They legal?”
Benji said, “It’s New Year’s Day and I’m a–a bit of a town celebrity,” he said, because his podcast gets, like, seventeen downloads per episode.
“You are?” asked Elaine.
He got really proud, real fast, and he said, “Yes, absolutely, and also, I’m at some rich people’s house and it’s New Year’s Day, so, like. We’ll be fine.”
Which, fair.
And that’s about when things blew up?
Ironically, not literally, cuz he went to his truck, and brought out the fireworks, and he was–well. It was New Year’s, he wasn’t sober, so, he tripped, and those things went flying, landing in the water. It was a bad fall, he hit his head on a rock. And Charlotte was laughing, and she was wading right where the waves were breaking, and she fell backwards, so–AJ panicked, and he jumped in after her, cuz she wasn’t coming up.
And AJ came up, holding Char so she could stand, and she was coughing up water, looked like she was about to pass out. I was checking out Benji’s wound, even though, I’m, like,–blood? Not my thing, ever, at all, it’s–it’s weird and red, and Angie was getting up to check on me, and Rob and her fiancee were trying to help out the kids, and–
And the sky went bright purple.
Not, like, when it’s a sunset, and the sky’s kinda magenta? And that’s blending into the night-sky color, but–
Like, highest saturation on photoshop, highest brightness, makes-you-almost vomit cuz your eyes are burning, that bright purple.
And my skin, it felt like it was burning. I smelled salt, felt a breeze, and I tried to close my eyes, to breathe out, but I couldn’t.
And then there was nothing.
And then I woke up on the beach. I could smell salt, I was totally clear-headed–and Benji’s cut? It was gone.
My watch said it was around 4AM. My phone was dead, but–it was the first, still. The sun was rising, in–in normal sky colors.
And I woke up second. Elaine was already up.
She asked me if I saw it too.
I said I that did.
Neither of us needed to clarify what. But we did. Obviously. Because “it” could be, like, anything, like–could be that new reality show that everyone’s super into where eliminations are decided by arm wrestles–it’s, like–it’s got compelling storylines, I swear.
My phone died, Angie, so if you’re trying to communicate, I can’t help you.
Oh! Time’s passing normally now. That’s nice. That’s good.
The plan was to recount the past week’s events, as well as their psychological effect on us. That’s what we agreed on.
So. Time stopped for a little while today. That was weird. That’s important.
I guess–I’m first, so I should talk about my other big experience too.
I was the fourth of us to see something, after it all? It was the third. After work, I was walkin’ to Ramon’s? And as I passed the custard stand, I saw this woman.
She was shorter than me, uh, long sundress on that was way too summery for this weather, but she didn’t seem cold. I offered her my hoodie, cuz I at least had long sleeves, but she didn’t answer. Dark hair, big sunglasses. I’d wager maybe thirty.
She took off her sunglasses, yeah? And the sky flashed purple–the same purple, the same burning feeling all over me–
And then the same nothingness, same smell of salt, same breeze, but–
I was still standing. And we were in this space, this–this purple nothingness, no ground, no sky, no nothing, that’s a double negative, you get what I mean, and–I was still standing–more floating, which was–not as pleasant as you’d expect? But not unpleasant, either. And this woman, she looked at me, dead in the eyes, and–
And she said–
(beat, uncomfortable)
What did she say?
(laughs)
It’s–it’s in my head, like. Tip of my tongue. I wrote it down, but it’s–it’s another individual letters making out a word I know but can’t–type situation.
But whatever.
What I’m most concerned about is my going to the beach. About the sticky notes. Like, that’s some sci-fi bullshit. Or some horror bullshit. Either or. Probably both.
Again, Truman Showed. Viable theory, here.
Or it has something to do with the Groundhog Day thing. Maybe.
I think what bothers me about this is how easy I’m accepting all this–that, like, I’m fairly sure all this is real. I know it’s–it’s weird. I know that this is sci-fi-esque, but, like–I never saw myself as a protagonist, or–any kind of tagonist, I guess, in those stories. But this–now, I think that I am.
So. Cool.
But why do I think that’s cool? I’m the–I’m the socially-stilted nerdy girl who either dies second or gets really good at guns, and I’m very afraid of guns.
So, therefore? I’m dying second.
Or, or or or, I’m Lois Lane. Charming and tough young journalist, swept off her feet by a charming stranger. Hopefully not a Superman, though, cuz–he’s not my thing. But. Yeah. I can deal with Lois.
I feel like I should know what happens next. Me or Benji, we gotta, we’re the ones who know genre like the backs of our hands. That’s why we’re friends, but–
This isn’t supposed to happen here. Like, I grew up here, and I’m–I wasn’t planning to stay here forever, obviously, but–This town, VB, it’s–it’s comforting in its boringness. Sure, it’s not– the people here are always cycling in-and-out, cuz tourism and school, and all that, but–Violet Beach is a normal-ass town. We don’t have ghost stories, we don’t have cryptids, we–we don’t have lore, or whatever. I don’t think there’s ever been a murder here, for God’s sake.
Okay, well–the hippie school’s headmaster, uh, the rebrander guy, Andrew Corielli, or–his son’s the mayor, right?–Shot that grocer, like, in the sixties. But everyone was a serial killer back then, if I can trust every true crime show ever.
But–my point is. What’s going on is not what happens in this town. What’s going on is what goes on in, like, Roswell, or–or Twin Peaks, or something.
I’m–I don’t have much else to say. That’s a conclusion if there ever was one. So. Uh.
Okay. I’m signing off. Thanks, guys. Hope to see you soon.
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My oh my you're gonna bring me to tears as well my dear author :'''D (this is actually also the first time I'm being an anon for someone hehehe)
A special spot? Reserved?? For me???
NANI ?! :''O
Thank you so much for that- you just made my entire day for real :'D
Venti plus angst? Two of my favs given for free? I'd love nothing more :D but let's wait til you open requests so I can at least play fair with the other askers/requesters ehe ;))
Also ! With the upcoming update for Summer and the new characters, I don't have a lot to say apart from everything looks really pretty asdklglsonjrohr-
I don't have much to say since I unfortunately do not have a good enough the pc to run the game, and my phone is apparently not available to download the game in the play store :''D sadge
So I've never actually played the game myself, but just from someone who quietly lurks around the fandom and only really interacting with the Tumblr side of it- I'm excited for the lore and new fics the writers are gonna come up with :D
I'm not gonna lie, even if I am able to play the game, I wouldn't know where to start cuz it all seems kind of overwhelming what with the builds, strategies (?), Having to farm, the gacha system, and also the fact that I am a broke student which means if I play the game- I'll never be able to buy my way and just shortcut through the hard stuff :'D
But enough of my misfortunes- a quick question that I've just come up with, do you perhaps know or are aware of what SAGAU is? If so, care to share your thoughts my dear author? :D
- Ever so sincerely yours, 👹✨ anon <3
hehe, then i'm glad to be your trial author of some sort fkekkwkd !! you're super duper nice and i always look forward to chatting with you, so i'd say you excel at being an anon! 100/10 recommendedヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞♡
when i open my requests again in the future, i'll definitely be expecting you~ after i finish my current requests, i'm planning on making a milestone event soon tho !! i'm taking my time to decide the theme fjejsksk maybe it'll be a matchup event of some kind but we'll see >:)
so true, no more details needed except for pretty 🙏 dw about not being able to play the game~ sometimes, living thru other types of experiences are enough to drag you into the blackhole !! i was like that with genshin too when xiao just came out before i said darn it and started playing during april last year hfjejdek but true true, genshin can be overwhelming with the various features and storages, so just leave it to genshinblr to give you the news and updates! ;D
yes, i do !! one of my moots, @/meimeimeirin actually writes super good SAGAU stuff~ the concept of characters being aware that they're inside a screen or the reader being isekai'd into teyvat in the place of a divine/respected figure is vv interesting 👀 that sense of 'corruptedness' and the feeling of something being out of place really get you hanging onto the edge of your seat !!
wbu, anon??? what do you think of the au and do you have any recs maybe??? feel free to share! >:)
#i hope your day/evening has been good!#because you definitely made mine with your ask <3#ask box! 📬#visitor: dearest 👹✨ anon!
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Bloom Chapter 1 - Yu-hwa
Just for you lovelies that may not have discovered it on Archive of Our Own, here is the first chapter of my Mystic Messenger fic Bloom, featuring my baby my OC Yu-hwa Lee ^^
You can find the ongoing fic here. I am updating regularly and have chapters prepared to upload, so I won’t leave you hanging ^^
Hope you enjoy it! The first chapter preview is under the cut <3
TW for sexual threats and references.
Yu-hwa Lee sat in her favourite seat at the café close to her apartment block, nursing the cheapest thing on the menu; a small white tea. It wasn’t as good as the coffee her body craved, but it was all her purse would allow her to have. She flicked through the pages of the application form she had on the table in front of her. There was no way she was qualified for a job at C&R, but it was the only place she could find that was currently hiring, and she was getting desperate.
She filled in a few basic details; name, date of birth. Address? She sighed. The landlord was on the verge of kicking her out.
This is depressing.
She put down her pen and picked up her phone. The notification icon showed that she had one new email, and she prayed to all the gods she could think of that it was a job offer.
You have been invited to test out…
She sighed, quickly scrolling through the message. It looked like junk mail, but she thought that maybe it was something she could get paid to do. At the end of the message was a link, which she pressed hoping that it wasn’t a virus.
Installing…
Oh shit!
She closed the email, hoping that it would stop whatever she had just started, but when she checked her phone menu she saw a new icon was installed there. She knew that she should probably delete it immediately, but curiosity got the better of her. She opened the app.
A chat room opened.
Unknown: Hi! Finally, someone to talk to, thank god…
Yu-hwa bit her lip and tugged at a strand of her dyed pink hair nervously. Unknown? Is this a chat-bot? These things seem to be popular lately.Tentatively, she typed her reply.
Yu-hwa: Hello
Unknown: Hi. Nice to meet you ^^ Yu-hwa… I’ve been waiting for you. Hope I didn’t surprise you. Don’t be nervous, I’m just an ‘ordinary’ person~
Yu-hwa felt her blood turn cold. The app must have accessed her personal data as her name and profile were displayed for Unknown to see. But what did he mean by he’d been waiting for her, and…
Yu-hwa: Why are you emphasizing the word ordinary…? It’s making me even more nervous
Unknown: You’re funny lol
Yu-hwa sighed and sipped her tea. Funny? Yeah, my whole life is a joke. She looked back at her phone. She knew that she should probably leave the chat before he asked her to send nudes or something, but she was a little curious too as she continued to read his message.
Unknown: But I can’t really say I’m extraordinary when I’m introducing myself. Shouldn’t I be humble and modest?
Yu-hwa couldn’t help but smile. She wasn’t the only comedian.
Unknown: In fact… I’m really excited. Cuz the first person to come in is you, Yu-hwa!
She cringed again at her name being used by this stranger she knew nothing about. He was being too familiar.
Unknown: I was so worried that no one would come in as I was making this app.
Yu-hwa’s eyes widened. So this guy is the apps creator? That explains some things I guess. She tapped at her phone.
Yu-hwa: What’s this app for?
Unknown: I was about to explain, but before that, can I ask a favour?
Yu-hwa inhaled. Have we finally arrived on Planet Perv? Her thumb hovered over the exit chat button.
Unknown: I know that it’s too much to ask from a stranger, but there’s something I really want you to help me with.
She chewed on her lower lip, moving her thumb and typing-
Yu-hwa: What is it?
She glanced at the application form in front of her. A few white lies might get her to the interview stage, but how far could her personality carry her? She rubbed her forehead as she felt the stress headache beginning to build, then glanced back at her phone.
Unknown: Well… This app isn’t just a messenger app, it’s a messenger game app. I wanted to ask if you could test it out for me. Game concept is chatting with pretty guys ^^
Yu-hwa: Why don’t you test it out yourself?
She didn’t have time for playing a game. She needed to find a job.
Unknown: It’s difficult to gain an objective view because I’m the creator. I want to know what others think of this!
He was persistent, but Yu-hwa knew she didn’t have the time. I just need to politely decline when I get the chance.
Unknown: The chats aren’t everything. There are also hidden stories… Amusing stories that will stir your imagination!
He’s really trying hard. She drank down the rest of her tea as she looked at the image of the characters he sent her. Cute, but not real. She rolled her eyes. I can’t keep a real boyfriend, I’m not going to spend my time chatting to artificial ones!
Yu-hwa: No thanks. Not my style.
She winced as she realised how harsh she might be coming across, but she was starting to get tired of the conversation.
Unknown: Just a little… Couldn’t you try it out for just a little? Decide whether it’s your style or not after trying it out.
She frowned. He seemed so desperate. She hoped that he wasn’t in a similar situation to her. Just imagining such a thing made her heart ache.
Yu-hwa: Fine. I’ll try it out.
Unknown: WOW! Thanks You’re a lifesaver… ^^
I hope you don’t mean that literally, she thought.
Unknown: I think it’ll be better to talk over the phone about the details.
The waitress took away Yu-hwa’s empty cup. “Anything else?”
“Um… no,” said Yu-hwa. Her purse was empty.
“It’s just… we have paying customers…”
“I get it,” Yu-hwa sighed. “I’m going.” She grabbed her belongings and rushed out of the café, red-faced. She glanced at her phone as she began to walk home.
Unknown: Don’t freak out when you see an unknown number and answer the phone plz ^^
The phone instantly started to ring. Yu-hwa inhaled deeply, her anxiety peaking. She closed her eyes and pressed answer
“Hey.”
The voice on the line was soft, but she could hear the excitement in his tone.
“Hi, umm, how did you know my number?” Yu-hwa asked.
“It’s automatically collected when you log-on to the messenger,” replied Unknown. There was an awkward pause. “Oh ummm, don’t get me wrong. It’s only dialable within the messenger app.”
Yu-hwa sighed. It was a relief to know that all she had to do was delete the app and she would never hear from him again. But there was something about his gentle voice that she liked. She kept listening.
“As I mentioned in the chat room, I called to explain to you about this app.”
Yu-hwa rolled her eyes. The sales pitch.
Unknown explained the concept of the game, which was chatting to the characters he had created and becoming the party coordinator of a fundraising group called R.F.A.
“It’ll be much faster to understand by playing, instead of listening to all this,” he said eventually. “Oh, but the game hasn’t been released yet. To perform the tests, you have to come over here.”
Yu-hwa pressed her lips together tightly. Yes of course random stranger I’ve talked to for five minutes. I’ll trust you not to do who knows what to me. Of course I’ll come over, pop the kettle on!
“Just send me the file,” she said, trying to remain polite.
Unknown sighed. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s protected by a date leak prevention security system. Even if you download the file, it’s uninstallable. I need to directly install it to your smartphone. Please understand. And I also want to meet you in person before you play the game.”
Yu-hwa gripped her bag, feeling uncomfortable. He was insistent, so she knew that she had to be firm. “No, I’ll just pass.” She didn’t know why she felt so bad saying it. The guy was being weird, and he was a complete stranger. But she had also sensed a desperation in him, something that was all too familiar to her.
“Why?” Unknown whined. “Weren’t you interested? It’s an app just for you where you can chat with pretty guys. Others can’t play this. Only you can.”
Pretty guys? They’re more trouble than they’re worth, and I can do without!
“It’s not even real,” she said firmly. “I’m not going.”
“For real?” His voice was filled with sorrow and disbelief. “Then how about this? If you come here and test the game, someone real might be interested in you. For example, me.”
This is pathetic.
“I don’t need it. No thanks.”
“You don’t need me?” He sounded broken. “Ha, haha… haha… Sad. I’m so sad…”
Yu-hwa felt her heart pounding. He was crying. Was he so desperate?
“I really believed you were going to make my dream come true… Believed you were the one I would go to paradise with…”
Yu-hwa reached her apartment and pulled out her key just as the landlord stuck his head out of his door. He’d clearly been waiting for her.
“Paradise?” she sighed.
“The place I was trying to take you to,” said Unknown, his voice soft but filled with sadness. “That place is paradise. Where there’s no pain or sadness, just endless happiness. I’m the angel that will lead you there. You’ve let go of my hand… but don’t worry. I don’t plan to let you go just yet.”
The landlord stood beside her, breathing down her neck.
“Rent’s due,” he said as she pushed the door open.
“I want to see what kind of face you’ll make when you’ve truly been saved. I want to see it with my own two eyes.”
The landlord snatched the phone out of Yu-hwa’s hand and hung up.
“Hey,” she gasped as he shoved it back at her.
“I said your rent’s due,” he snapped. “Actually, it was due last week, but I let you off because you’re cute. Now I want my money.”
Yu-hwa bit her lip, muted.
“Fuck, you don’t have it?” he asked, then smirked. “There are other ways of paying,” he said as he advanced on her. “It’s been a while since I got my cock wet.” He stepped back. “Think about it. You give me head, you get to keep a roof over yours.” He laughed as he left, slamming the door shut behind him.
Yu-hwa hurried and locked the door, collapsing on the floor in tears.
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How is each character's birthday celebrated?
garderobe
fucking blow-out bash. the scene: night. the setting: the ballroom. the windows: swathed in diamond-studded velvet. the theme: ‘midnight romance.’
it’s fucking extra as fuck. did i even need to say
everyone is in masks—masquarade, obvs—and there are glittering diamond chandeliers, and about 2000 invited guests from across the known world, and more dignitaries and emperors and admiring fans than Adam thought possible.
the palace is STUFFED, jesus christ, people have come from all over to pay worship to Madame de Garderobe
but garderobe’s favorite part? besides the presents, and the vanilla-whipped lemon cake, and the caroling? when cadenza takes her aside and proposes to her, all over again, like he does every single year. my wife. mi amore. all the kisses no one sees.
cadenza
cadenza gets little cupcakes, and more tuning-forks than anybody could possibly need, and decorated spoon-handles (he likes them), and new lace handkerchiefs, and he cries a lot cuz cadenza’s an emotional man.
he also makes everybody sit around and listen to a 7+ hour concert.
cadenza’s birthday is not everyone’s favorite birthday.
lumiere
a. fucking. party.
a lot of people get stressed about party-planning, but this man has done it so much it’s almost a party trick in and of itself: he flicks his cuffs and out pop streamers and musicians and piles of food and illegally downloaded jams and at least one rampant excess that nobody asked for but everyone loves. ever wanted to crowdsurf in a human hamster ball during a blacklight rave? your local maître d’ has your back
cogsworth takes care of all the practicalities (”you need chairs! chairs! where is everyone going to sit !!”), but lumiere makes sure that it is Fucking Lit™. the party runs until 3 am and chip is especially loaded up with party drinks so he can stay awake for all of it
besides making sure the music never dies, though, lumiere is an exceptional host. you know this. i know this. you will never sit in the corner at a lumiere party. the birthday boy himself will sit next to you and discuss your particularly boring special interest of mating blue-nosed pheasants until he feels you’re comfortable. party be damned!! we’re here to have A FUCKING GOOD TIME, LADS and if that involves pheasants ok lets do this
at the climax of the party everybody has to get up and toast everybody else. lumiere always pretends to forget to toast himself, but cogsworth always leads that charge
basically cogsworth roasts lumiere for two hours and everyone gets smashed
it’s honestly the greatest thing ever
plumette
ok so her birthday bash is actually classy
she always keeps it a surprise from lumiere, so he spends the three months in front of it wondering “is the theme hawaii?? is it venician carnival??? is it that one daiquiri we drank once that was great”
it’s always something vaguely tasteful, and he’s always shook all over again at how brilliant his darling is
once belle comes, belle helps plumette plan it, and it’s all feathers and girl-talks and ordering in her favorite sugar-dusted macarons and arguing with retailers over the phone over how big an ice swan they can possibly fit into their wagons
despite all her planning, lums always finds an in. She can try to lock him out of her room; he’ll sprint over the balcony, so her first sight when she wakes up is him holding out a slightly battered tray of chocolate croissants.
true love knows no boundaries. what it does know is that its beloved likes being woken up by a good chocolate croissant and a kiss on the lips.
cogsworth
‘is it my birthday?’ he always pretends to forget. maybe he truly does. no one knows for sure how a clock loses track of such a date.
it is his birthday. are you kidding? lumiere’s been planning this for 364 days
and, weirdly, he’s been considerate. it’s actually perfect for cogsworth. there is a very english breakfast—kippers and sausages and other things no one else can choke down—and then it’s a constitutional around the gardens. then everybody leaves him alone for two hours to sleep in his study. then it’s a dismal english lunch ( “ u u g h “ whisper every local frenchperson), and then they play chess, and then a stately presentation of presents, and then he gets another hour to introvert however he wants, and then when he’s nice and lulled and just really, genuinely pleased about what a good day he’s having—
lumiere turns on all the stereo systems to full power and blasts skrillex.
(the entertainer’s heart can only hold itself in for so long.)
after being thrown into a swimming pool by cogsworth for being “a bloody and deceitful cretin,” the two relax on the balcony, sipping gin and tonics, while everyone else parties below. cogsworth allows himself one (1) hawaiian t-shirt. the sun sets as lumiere and cogs clink their glasses and toast the tacky plastic sunglasses they’ve both adopted
chapeau
HE WON’T TELL ANYONE WHEN HIS BIRTHDAY IS
WHAT AN ASSHOLE
IT’S LIKE HE DOESN’T WANT A PARTY OR SOMETHING
FUCKING IDIOT
LUMIERE IS GONNA FIND HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE IF IT KILLS HIM
#lumiere#chapeau#plumette#garderobe#cogsworth#asks#anon#batb#batb 2017#beauty and the beast#beauty and the beast 2017
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after peter wolff writes his son a short letter in which he relates the details of how the matriarch of iris’s coven came to him and asked if damian might be able to email iris or something just to reassure her that he’s ok, damian takes out his phone (he has changed his number since he last talked to her) and he texts a familiar number.
[d] Stop trying to contact me.
[i] Damian???????? [i] Oh my god????? Jfc I thought you like [i] Died [i] Are u ok??
(a day passes)
[i] If u dont reply Ill assume the answer is no and get Grace to talk to ur dad again
[d] That was a low blow.
[i] It was desperate u mean. Which is tru [i] But Im not fucking kidding. I thought you were dead
[d] That’s a lie.
[i] How would u fucking know huh
(half a day goes by)
[i] I heard about the guys in the city [i] Thought maybe after that ur dad got sick of ur shit and called a priest or something lol [i] Cuz ur a demon
[d] Clever.
[i] Actually that wasnt clever sorry. If u have to clarify the punchline u really cant in good conscious call it clever can you
[d] Not really, no
[i] Lol [i] Good to see you’ve still got ur sense of humor
[d] ‘Humor?’ [d] Is that a Korean word?
[i] Har har [i] You speak korean dummy [i] 작은 년이되지 마
[d] 나는하지 않으려 고 노력할거야.
[i] You google translated that one didnt you
[d] I’m out of practice.
[i] Its ok, me too
(another day goes past)
[i] Hows your mom
[d] I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in six years.
[i] Wait what lol [i] Then where are you
[d] Some school somewhere. [d] Not Columbia, obviously
[i] Obviously lol [i] What kind of school
[d] I don’t know how to describe it. It’s designed for creatures like us.
[i] Wait your dad sent you to VAMPIRE school [i] One might even say........... Vampire ACADEMY [i] Wait what the fuck is it a high school lol
[d] Sort of. It’s a combination. [d] I’m in classes that supposedly will transfer back to Columbia when I return
[i] Oh youre coming back?
(sent at the exact same moment:) [d] Be more specific [i] To NY i mean?
[i] Lol
[d] Hole in one.
[i] Good call tbh. It sux up here [i] Did you know vermont is the whitest state in the country
[d] It’s second actually, after Maine
[i] Ahhh yes the compulsive fact checking.......almost forgot why I broke up with you
(20 minutes later)
[i] That was a joke lol
[d] I thought it was
[i] Nah you didnt
[d] I was around 80% sure
[i] Not statistically significant enough to reject the null hypothesis [i] Cmon Damian get back to your roots. Do some math to figure out your feelings
[d] Insufficient data
[i] Lol
(two days later)
[i] Lily says hi
[d] She’s still around? I thought for sure she wouldn’t make it through her first year.
[i] Lol yeah [i] She had a couple accidents too but [i] Nbd tbh. Im not going to get worked up about it anyway
(an hour later)
[i] Im still dating her btw
(a few hours later; in early morning, after class)
[d] I was almost hoping you’d lie to me
[i] Yeah. Sorry [i] She said I could if i wanted to but I would rather not lie to you tbh [i] I feel like........if we’re going to try reestablishing trust and everything [i] Then I should try not to lie at you
[d] Why would we be doing that?
[i] Cuz we dated for two years and itd be great if we could like get along [i] Cuz you ghosted me for a fucking reason and honestly? Id like to know why
[d] I’m sorry.
[i] Yeah you are
[d] It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.
[i] Yeah and it probably wasnt graces intention to imprison me in the immortal shell of a 16yo but ya know. Shit happens [i] We deal
[d] One silver lining to us breaking up. The age difference thing doesn’t come up.
[i] Bitch if we were still dating I would personally find u a new ratbag every god damn day to make sure u didnt look a day over 17 [i] Cuz thats creepy
[d] Fair.
(a day later)
[i] Ok..........sorry for saying “if we were still dating” [i] I just read a cosmo article that said Im not supposed to say that to an ex
[d] It’s fine. I know what you mean.
[i] Im not hitting you up to get back together [i] Ok?
[d] I know.
[i] Like.............itd be great if we could be friends [i] If we cant thats also cool [i] But hmu once in a while so I know youre not dead?
[d] And when the inevitable happens?
(Damian’s phone starts to ring. He looks at it. After three rings, he silences it, then waits until the ringing has stopped.)
[d] I didn’t mean it like that.
[i] Shit like this is why I worry about you
[d] Don’t you think it’d be easier on us both if you just lived with the idea that somewhere out there I might be dead?
[i] Why are you being mean to me lol
[d] I’m not trying to be mean.
[i] Did I fucking ask what you were trying to do Damian [i] I forgot its such a crime to care about someone you dedicated two years of your life to [i] A year ago you wanted me to marry you and now youre saying Fuck off and let me die [i] Like your own feelings aside thats just disrespectful to me [i] Anyway lol have I told you that this is your problem cuz it is [i] Its Damiantown 24/7 with you. I feel like that meme bitch from the brady bunch [i] “Damian Damian Damian”
(three hours later)
[d] Sure, Jan
[i] Oh my fucking god
[d] Sorry.
[i] What the fuck is wrong with you lol
[d] In my defense, that meme is extremely funny
[i] You dumb fucking idiot [i] I cant believe you just turned the one meme I EVER showed you against me
[d] You also sent me the article about the frog once
[i] Ya cuz I was afraid you were on reddit accidentally trading memes with nazis
[d] That’s just insensitive.
[i] I said accidentally didnt I? I was looking out for you in case your dad ever checked your search history [i] Not that he knows what the fuck an internet search history even is [i] But he’d be devastated
[d] He actually would kill me, in that case
[i] (wooden stake emoji) [i] Not if I got to him first
(Damian spends a few minutes scrolling through his emojis)
[d] Where did you find that one?
[i] I downloaded a vampire pack [i] Without using an ip blocker or anything [i] Just to fuck with the nsa
(20 minutes later)
[i] Do you ever think about how we’re the irl x files
[d] Constantly. And I’ve never even seen The X-Files.
[i] Bitch I sent you the netflix link like 20 years ago
[d] I lost your login information.
[i] Ah yes [i] Just like how you [i] “Lost” [i] My number
[d] No, I just didn’t write it down
[i] I think its off netflix now anyway
(3 days pass)
[i] Oh i totally forgot [i] Did you take my jacket
[d] The one with the fur is my jacket
[i] Wtf I sent you the link!!!!!!!!!!!
[d] And I bought it because I liked it.
[i] Are you fucking kidding me
[d] I thank you for your impeccable taste in style.
[i] I let you take it cuz you liked wearing it [i] Tbh so disappointed you didnt take the other stuff you liked wearing [i] Toxic masculinity Damian
[d] Could we avoid any potential taunting please.
[i] Im not taunting [i] It looked good on you
[d] Great. Thanks
(an hour later)
[d] I actually don’t have the jacket anymore, you know.
[i] Did you leave it at home??????? Score [i] Ur dad likes me anyway so Im just gonna hit him up then [i] Bye lol
[d] No. [d] I actually may have passed it along to someone else.
[i] OH????? What the fuck lol [i] Who
#((i'm posting this for archival purposes but it's a bit Removed from the main plot so))#iris#ooc#((groans i'm sorry i made this canon i couldn't stop thinking about them))
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Therapy/Counselling diary #8 (my memory is baaad plus some general frustrations and encouragements)
This past week was kinda hmm... nyeeeeh. I wouldn't say I did anything particularly exciting or new or memorable and I was kinda sickly but it wasn't bad bad and that's all that matters ^^ My memory is bad bad baaaaad in other words, same as usual lol
I’ve decided I’m gonna try to write this weeks (or well, last weeks) stuff using the tumblr app this time, I haven't really used it much, but it's been pretty neat so far aka I cba to clear my desk and use the pc. My typo rate is srsly v. high tho and I wanna shorten the words cuz phone typing and effort but I think I actually type about the same speed with my phone as I do on the PC hah... If only I could read back the text and edit stuff easier as I go along though... oh welp. (Whoa phew, I thought I accidentally posted it by accident lulz the app gives a 'it posted' notification when I save it as a draft what even lol)
This weeks counselling app was... pretty alright, though I'm feeling the pressure and the nerves more now because as predicted I am expected to try even more harder with the communication and skill learning stuff for next time and I really arghhh xwx I only just got over the last wall and the next one seems way more difficult to scale... but I think I can do it... I just need to push away the unhelpful thoughts and persist..! >^<
So that sheet about emotions and thoughts I had to do... I only managed to write two small things but it's something at least, we didn't actually look over it this session because we were still looking at the unhelpful behaviour sheet from last last time which was a slight relief but I still have the sheet now and need to fill it by next week xwx
The behaviour we went over was to do with comparing yourself to others and I really can't remember a lot of the things that was said gdi... maybe I'll just bullet point some of the important stuff and the rest will come back to me easier... and so I don't forget even more lol I'm just feeling extra lazy and unmovtivated hahaha.. ugh @v@"
🍰 Every person has their own views on things/their own way of doing or reacting to things and there is no right or wrong way in essence. Like baking a cake, one person may use so and so ingredients and the other such and such or even something that seems pretty unconventional but they both still result in cakes. Another person may prefer the taste of cake 1 over 2 and another person cake 2 over 1. No one is wrong in their choices, it’s just personal preference.
🥞 All professions work together in harmony and are necessary to make up and keep up a society. There is no need to be ashamed of or think lowly of your profession because it is just as important (eg. trash collector people, some people might think lowly of them but without them there would be a mess of vermin and disease etc etc as juxtaposed with another profession like a doctor which is usually thought highly of).
🍕 The only way to break the cycle is by doing. Doing will provide you with the experience and evidence needed to override your negative presumptions and this in turn will allow you to get past the things holding you back and grow. Your beliefs should run on facts and not irrational thoughts which probably hold no truth at all.
🍔 Like reading a book, you only know as much as you've read (your current and past experiences and beliefs), but there is still so much left to learn and absorb if you push forward and continue. The parts you haven't read yet (future experiences and knowledge etc) may be the positive and powerful parts needed to neutralise and flip back the negative beginning chapters.
🍝 You live in a place where freedom and choice is encouraged and accepted (unlike some other places in the world where people live under strict control), so why would you willingly choose to cage yourself in with all these rules and restrictions..? (T^T Idk why... but I don’t want to no more that’s for sure!)
🍦 Everything you do should be for your own approval and not anyone else’s. It’s your life and your choices, not theirs. Your own opinions matter most and your own wellbeing should be your priority. Do it all for yourself.
🍩 I would really like a doughnut right now, damn. I can’t have any of these foods rn cause of my diet lolol... they’re unhealthy anyways ^^”
These are some really awfully phrased retellings of the stuff the counsellor told me, but that’s basically all I can remember right now but they give very interesting and useful views on things. Normally I would rephrase them even more or not include the examples but w/e I need to stop being so afraid, just get it all down nice and straightforward and truthful! Yeah, I could've just used the actual bullet point formatting but food emoji is much more exciting of course :D I literally can’t think anymore about last week, I’m just so overwhelmed with this week, my head hurts with the mental effort x^x I decided to go back to using the pc, the app is good for brief things only I guess.
In terms of doing something brave or well out of my comfort zone, I walked down a few streets on my own and went to collect some post. It’s something I’ve done before (though not completely on my own) but I still had a hella awkward time at the desk cause the queue was kind of jumbled and idk if the person before me was actually someone that came after, I thought maybe they were an employee and went behind them instead or maybe they skipped in front idk ugh... I really suck at looking and remembering people’s faces sometimes.
If I wanted to go somewhere else on my own my parents would probably not let me go and my dad would lecture me all the safety things even more than usual (seriously, I get the don’t talk to strangers type of line every single time..!). I’m not a child, I shouldn’t have to ask for permission and this time I didn’t ask, I just said where I was going and why and left but if I tried that to go anywhere else then they’d get ruffled. But the main thing is the communication again I guess, as long as they are informed, it’ll lessen the stress and make them more open to me taking my own initiative.
Like I understand they want me to be safe, it’s what parents do and I obviously don’t want to run into any trouble too, but sometimes being too overprotective and overly cautious means I’m just stuck and can’t grow at all. It just goes to make me even more scared of the world, when I should be out there doing things like everyone else, it sucks.
I know in parents eyes, their daughters and sons will always be their kids, their babies, but at some point they will see them as adults too and well, that just isn’t happening for me. I haven’t proven myself worthy of the adult title and I also feel I don’t deserve it yet, it seems a long way off still but it feels so ridiculous, but what is age but just a number anyways, everyone goes at different paces. I shouldn’t dwell on this too much and just try my best to prove to myself, yes myself first and foremost, that I can be an adult, I can be responsible and independent at least a little more. I need a better action plan really... besides the vague, get a job, learn to drive, cook etc. idk what else @^@” I’m getting a little ahead of myself with even this though, gotta not forget, take things slow and gradually, baby steps!! ^^
In my other endeavours with art and posting things online, it’s just come to a stand still or gone backwards actually, I’ve just gotten so scared again, I can’t put a pen to paper or even leave a comment on other people’s stuff anymore and it feels really awful, like why can’t I just do it and forget about feeling foolish or judged or inadequate, I keep overthinking again gdi..!! >^< I keep wanting to plan things and have things all perfect and ready instead of just getting things done as I go like other people... damn, I keep saying like other people, constantly comparing myself to them, that’s another reason I’ve gotten scared to try again with anything.
Gosh, these unhelpful habits are for reals and are the worst, at least I’m more aware of them though, maybe I can fight them back a bit better now that I know how draining and evil they are... Okay! I challenge you unhelpful habits!! Imma throw you in the trash and get my ass moving! You’ve got nothing on me! I can do it!! Ugh... ;^; No no, no sad! Fight fight fight! Go go go! ò^ó
My sis got me a lot of gifts relating to art, she encourages me through this and her kind words and wants me to do well, I want me to do well too and to show my gratitude with action, so imma do well and make a lot of nice arts to be proud of! They don’t have to be perfect! I saw a quote that was something like ‘even the pages on your bad days are better than the ones on the days you did nothing’ (I just totally butchered that lol) or something like that and it was like, damn, that’s true. A little practice even if it’s not serious is better than nothing at all! Okay okay I’m pumped!
The stuff I had to do this week is to help out at the front of the shop, gain some experience and converse with customers..! I already attempted it once for a short time and welp, it was scary but I guess not that bad (also I kinda botched up a phone order maybe) but I keep reading into things too deeply and negatively and it scared me off and now as usual the week is ending and my opportunities to try are limited, need to get my ass in gear, c’mon I can do it! Don’t be afraid, you’re doing well, keep going! ^^”... go go go! ^u^
Maybe I can kill 2 birds with one stone, sit and observe but also draw, space is limited though so idk if it’ll work out but there’s no harm giving it a try I guess. Must not forget to fill in that emotions/thoughts sheet ugh, I should have done it as I actually do stuff but I do things in bad and unconventional ways. Need to break a lot of habits. I downloaded this app that is supposed to help you build new healthy habits, so far all it’s wanted me to do is to drink water when I wake up so I feel more energised lol but I did it and it does help, I wonder if I can build a lot of other good habits too, it certainly makes things feel more fun in a way.
Everyday in my mind I want to look over the days happenings in a more positive light and congratulate myself for all the small things I did that I maybe I wouldn’t have some weeks ago, so I can see how much I actually improved and have put effort in. Even though on the surface it just all seems meh, I want to let myself see how things have actually become a little easier and how the negative thoughts relating to them has begun to affect me less and take up less space in my conscious. Be proud of yourself and all your endeavours, silly!
Hmm, this post is probably shorter than my usual one but oh well, I don’t want to spend too much time rambling or ruminating or being a paralysed perfectionist, I’ve got other bigger fish to fry! And draw and eat omnomnom! Yolo! x3
Okay okay, now I’m going to go do some artsy fartsy stuff or at least have myself set up for it and my conversing/experience gaining challenge hoo! Believe in yourself, you can do it! Let’s go go! :D
Have a lovely evening and keep trying, keep flying! ^^
#therapy#avpd#anxiety#social anxiety#depression#thoughts#feelings#family#self-motivation#trying a little is better than not trying at all#it's okay for things to not be perfect#believe in yourself#do it all for yourself#challenge the negative#keep going#baby steps#you can do it!#let's art and kick ass!
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1: My name? - Rudy Jay White
2: Do I have any nicknames? - At my old job they used to call me Rude Dog, Whitey, Rudy Rude
3: Zodiac sign? - Libra
4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? - I rarely play video games nowadays. The last game I played was Left 4 Dead 2, about three weeks ago.
5: Book/series I reread? - I reread The Notebook recently. But I usually reread Jurassic Park and The Lost World every so often.
6: Aliens or ghosts? - Ghosts?
7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? - Is this asking about an author? If so, then Michael Crichton, or Jack London
8: Favourite radio station? - 101.5
9: Favourite flavour of anything? - I usually get strawberry flavored stuff.
10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? - Awesome
11: Favourite song? - Master Of Puppets is my all time favorite.
12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? - What do you do when you’re not working/in your free time
13: Favourite word? - Awesome, probably
14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? - Yes.
15: Last song I listened to? - Beast and the Harlot. I finally downloaded Avenged Sevenfold on my phone and I forgot how awesome they are
16: TV show I always recommend? - Inuyasha
17: Pirates or ninjas? - Ninjas
18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? - Jurassic Park
19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? - Party Monster
20: Favourite video games? - CS:GO, MW2 when it first came out and I was in my gaming/tryhard years, Halo 2 and 3.
21: What am I most afraid of? - Being single for the rest of my life, honestly. I see older guys with the same job as me, that are single, that just work and work and work. They try to get all the overtime they can. Sure, they have a shitload of money, but I don’t know how they do it, I don’t know what motivates them. Maybe it’s just because I just recently got out of a relationship, but I can’t imagine myself just working and going home to an empty house, with no one to come home to, talk to, and spend my life with.
22: A good quality of mine? - I think before I talk/act. So I rarely do stupid shit.
23: A bad quality of mine? - I’m too quiet. I’m awkward. My social skills are lacking.
24: Cats or dogs? - Dogs
25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? - Emma Watson probably. Or Leo DiCaprio.
26: Favourite season? - Summer
27: Am I in a relationship? - Nope.
28: Something I miss? - Looking forward to seeing/spending time with someone, and using that as motivation to get through a shitty or hard day at work.
29: My best friend? - I don’t have a best friend anymore. Lol I only have friends and acquaintances.
30: Eye colour? - Brown
31: Hair colour? - Black
32: Someone I love? - My nephew is one of the people I love.
33: Someone I trust? - My dad
34: Someone I always think about? - N/A.
35: Am I excited about anything? - Having my own room again. Looool
36: My current obsession? - Doing everything I can to stay positive.
37: Favourite TV shows as a child? - Inuyasha
38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? - I used to.
39: Am I superstitious? - Yes. For example, in high school, for soccer games, I’d make sure to wear the shinguard sleeves and socks that I played well in, and if I didn’t have a red bull before a game, everything was ruined. Lol
40: What do I think about most? - Just staying positive.
41: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nope
42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? - Behind it.
43: Favourite hobbies? - Soccer
44: Last book I read? - The Notebook
45: Last film I watched? - Moana
46: Do I play any instruments? - Nope, but I wish I could play guitar
47: Favourite animal? - Bald Eagle cuz Murica
48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? - sex, allxfoo, fusterclucked, fuckyeahmanchesterunited, kayytam
49: Superpower I wish I could have? - Teleportation? Or super speed or flying. Something that I can move from place to place very fast.
50: How do I destress? - For the past two months I’ve been writing everything down to vent and organize all my thoughts. I still am not sure if that helps me, since it makes me think about things I want to forget, but I still do it if the urge/anxiety is too much.
51: Do I like confrontation? - No. I hate that I don’t. My personality just doesn’t like it. I wish I could stand up to people.
52: When do I feel most at peace? - If I had to answer this question five months ago, it would be a very different answer. But now, it’s when all my family is home, my parents, my sister and my nephews, and I know they’re all safe.
53: What makes me smile? - Spending time with my nephew.
54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? - Off
55: Play any sports? - Soccer
56: What is my song of the week? - Lol I was singing along to The Middle when it was playing on the radio on my way home from work on Thursday, and I actually listened to the lyrics and laughed my ass off.
57: Favourite drink? - Alcoholic drink? STP
58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? - Last handwritten one was 11/24/2016.
59: Afraid of heights? - A bit.
60: Pet peeve? - Lack of communication.
61: What was the last concert I went to see? - Lol I guess it was Esta
62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? - Nope.
63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? - Paleontologist
64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? - Yup
65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? - The wizarding world
66: Something I worry about? - Never moving on.
67: Scared of the dark? - I little bit.
68: Who are my best friends? - No more
69: What do I admire most about others? - Their ability to think quickly, and explain everything that is on their mind effectively.
70: Can I sing? - Noooooooo
71: Something I wish I could do? - Be charismatic.
72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? - Get a GMC Canyon Denali Diesel. And lift it. Buy a house for my sister. Probably give the rest of it to my parents, since they’d probably have a better idea of what to do with all of it. And I’d also pay for someones tuition.
73: Have I ever skipped school? - Yes
74: Favourite place on the planet? - Again, very different answer if I was asked this five months ago. Lol. But probably in my bed now.
75: Where do I want to live? - Preferably here on Oahu. But if I gotta move then I would.
76: Do I have any pets? - Two dogs, one bird.
77: What is my current desktop picture? - I have it cycle between a picture of Old Trafford, the Manchester United logo, and a picture of me kicking a ball.
78: Early bird or night owl? - Really depends. As long as my mind and body stay stimulated, I’ll wake up early or stay up for a very long time.
79: Sunsets or sunrise? - Sunsets
80: Can I drive? - Yes
81: Story behind my last kiss? - A kiss on a forehead to say goodbye.
82: Earphones or headphones? - Headphones. Earphones if I don’t have my headphones.
83: Have I ever had braces? - Yes
84: Story behind one of my scars? - I slipped.
85: Favourite genre of music? - Heavy metal
86: Who is my hero? - My dad
87: Favourite comic book character? - Deadpool
88: What makes me really angry? - Me.
89: Kindle or real book? - Real book
90: Favourite sporty activity? - Idk soccer? Lifting?
91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? - Idk. Teaching things that people will actually use in the real world.
92: What was my favourite subject at school? - English
93: Siblings? - Two older sisters
94: What was the last thing I bought? - I ordered a yeti roadie. Lol
95: How tall am I? - 5′7″
96: Can I cook? - Lol no. I can cook like three dishes.
97: Can I bake? - Nope
98: 3 things I love? - My family, soccer, Manchester United
99: 3 things I hate? - How slow time is, but at the same time how fast it is, how socially awkward I am, myself.
100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? - Dudes.
101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? - Idk I guess guys. I don’t talk to any girls. Lol
102: Where was I born? - Honolulu, Hawaii
103: Sexual orientation? - Straight.
104: Where do I currently live? - With my parents? Lol. 7EwaFKNBeach6
105: Last person I texted? - My mom
106: Last time I cried? - Last week Monday or Tuesday I forget.
107: Guilty pleasure? - CHEEZ IT
108: Favourite Youtuber? - G18
109: A photo of myself. - I’ll post it after if I remember.
110: Do I like selfies? - I don’t take much pictures of myself.
111: Favourite game app? - I used to play tsum tsum a lot.
112: My relationship with my parents? - Pretty good I guess?
113: Favourite accents? - British
114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? - Old Trafford
115: Favourite number? - Either 2 or 7
116: Can I juggle? - Nope
117: Am I religious? - Nope
118: Do I like space? - I like looking at it.
119: Do I like the deep ocean? - Lol dark blue water is scary af
120: Am I much of a daredevil? - I would say that I’m a lot more cautious than most people, because I’ve been taught to see all the hazards and worst possible scenarios that can happen and that kinda stuff, but I can be very reckless with my own well being.
121: Am I allergic to anything? - I can’t wear metal necklaces or stuff like that. The back of my neck would breakout in a rash. Idk.
122: Can I curl my tongue? - Sure
123: Can I wiggle my ears? - Nope
124: Do I like clowns? - Don’t really care for them
125: The Beatles or Elvis? - The Beatles
126: My current project? - Staying positive
127: Am I a bad loser? - Mmmmm depends. If I really worked and tried my best and wanted something then yeah, I’m salty af when I lose.
128: Do I admit when I’m wrong? - Yes.
129: Forest or beach? - Beach
130: Favourite piece of advice? - Everything happens for a reason. Everything will work itself out in time.
131: Am I a good liar? - No. Which is why I don’t really ever lie. Lol
132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? - I think I took that test online and I ended up in Slytherin?
133: Do I talk to myself? - A lot.
134: Am I very social? - Noooope.
135: Do I like gossip? - Lol nope.
136: Do I keep a journal/diary? - I was writing everyday for a month and a half. But I stopped that. I only write now if I cannot handle the anxiety.
137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? - Lol when I took the test for the shipyard I was dying
138: Do I believe in second chances? - Yes. People change. People learn.
139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Probably turn it in.
140: Do I believe people are capable of change? - Yes. If they really want to change, or things happen that causes them to change.
141: Have I ever been underweight? - Idk I’ve always been skinny
142: Am I ticklish? - A bit
143: Have I ever been in a submarine? - Yes
144: Have I ever been on a plane? - Yes
145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? - This question is dumb. Lol. But I would be Jay Baruchel from She’s Out of my League
146: Have I ever been overweight? - Nope.
147: Do I have any piercings? - Nope
148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? - DOBBY
149: Do I have any tattoos? - Nope
150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? - Mmm I would say just doing my best to not be a cunt. Lol. Not to burn bridges, not to ruin friendships or relationships with moments of stupidity or frustration.
151: Do I believe in Karma? - I do. Which is why I do what I said in the last question.
152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? - Nope
153: What was my first car? - I guess the car I drive now, which is my moms car technically. 2005 Nissan Altima
154: Do I want children? - In like ten years.
155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? - My dad is really smart, and all his old coworkers, which are now my current coworkers, tell me that all the time.
156: My most embarrassing memory? - Not really but I still cringe, when I sang karaoke. Anyway you want it, that’s the way you need it! T_T Looool
157: What makes me nostalgic? - Living by my elementary school again. Living in the house I grew up in. Every time I walk by the school, all the memories come back, and I wonder where all the time went.
158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? - Many.
159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? - Brains
160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? - Black or blue
161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? - Nah not really
162: What do I hate most about myself? - Well shit. The fact that I lost the girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, because I treated her poorly, because I was getting used to my new schedule at work, so I had a short temper with her, and I took her for granted, always thinking I could spend time with her another day. It really was my fault that she decided to ask for a break. It really was my fault that she thought about a life where we weren’t together, a life with less stress and less bullshit.
163: What do I love most about myself? - Lol fuck now I gotta think about this. I guess how I’m loyal. And how I don’t talk shit about people, or do anything behind people’s backs.
164: Do I like adventure? - Sometimes. If I’m in the mood. Lol
165: Do I believe in fate? - Yes. Most definitely.
166: Favourite animal? - See #47
167: Have I ever been on radio? - Nope
168: Have I ever been on TV? - Not that I know of
169: How old am I? - 22 years old
170: One of my favourite quotes? - “ The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander”
171: Do I hold grudges? - Nooooo
172: Do I trust easily? - Mmm, no not really. I guess that’s why it takes forever for me to open up to people, or get comfortable with people
173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? - Yes. I have.
174: Best gift I’ve ever received? - I guess it would be the friendship and memories and lessons that I have learned in the past three years.
175: Do I dream? - Every so often.
176: Have I ever had a night terror? - As in sleep paralysis? I haven’t had that in a very long time.
177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? - Yes. A dream I don’t want to dream for awhile, since it only makes me hurt after.
178: An experience that has made me stronger? - The last three years. The last two months.
179: If I were immortal, what would I do? - Dumb shit. Lol. If I was gonna live forever, I probably would make an effort to make other peoples lives better, or their day brighter in some way.
180: Do I like shopping? - I spend too much money on things I don’t need.
181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? - Something that I would acquire a lot of money.
182: What does “family” mean to me? - Being completely comfortable with them, being able to tell them anything, and going through shit with them and still being able to make things work afterward. You can trust them. It doesn’t have to be blood related. It could be friends that you just get super close with, and then you can say that they’re family.
183: What is my spirit animal? - Sloth. Lol. Idk maybe a wolf.
184: How do I want to be remembered? - That guy that kept his head down and did his job and didn’t do any dumb shit. Lol
185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? - SOCIAL SKILLS
186: What is my greatest failure? - Probably not going to college and playing soccer in college. That’s what I wanted growing up, and that’s what my dad pushed me for, and sent me on all those trips and spent those thousands and thousands of dollars on me for. I think about that all the time. How it seems like a waste of money now. Idk.
187: What is my greatest achievement? - Idk. Maybe getting this job.
188: Love or money? - Love.
189: Love or career? - These two questions are kind of the same. But I would pick career, for this one. I know that’s what I did four months ago. And I know that the way I went about it was wrong. I was focused too much on my job. I was so happy I had a job that I could be proud of. But I didn’t balance it out. I didn’t balance work and my girlfriend. I put all my energy into work, because of the hours, and the learning, so I didn’t have energy for her. In spite of all that, after losing her, I still pick career, because I’m still young, because I learned my lesson, because I still have time to make a relationship work. I still have time to make it all work. I don’t wanna end up old and alone. And also, because I lost her, I really really can’t lose this job. I really don’t know what I would do if I did.
190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? - Three years ago, when I got home from the hospital after I had surgery on my arm. I would gladly start over from there.
191: What makes me the happiest? - My nephew. He makes me happy.
192: What is “home” to me? - It used to be someplace else, but now, it’s the house that I live in with my family.
193: What motivates me? - The fact that I’m still young, I have a good frickin job, and I’m decent looking. Lol. And that I wanna work to get better everyday, for myself, for my family, for her
194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? - “lol fuk.” Nah umm probably still “Forever and Always.” Just cause
195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? - If I don’t get abducted
196: A movie that scared me as a child? - Signs
197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? - Onions
198: Zombies or vampires? - Zombies are easier to kill I think
199: Live in the city or suburbs? - Suburbs
200: Dragons or wizards? - I like be one wizard
201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? - I used to have dreams where I’d be driving a car and I guess I’d go off a cliff or something and I’d be falling in the car. But the dream would always end before impact or whatever.
202: How do I define love? - This is gonna suck. Love is when you look forward to seeing them, every second of the day. When you already miss them, five seconds after walking out the door, after saying goodbye for ten minutes. When their voice, and their laugh, sounds so beautiful, like the sweetest and most uplifting song, and instantly brightens your day. When you memorize everything they talk about, what they like, dislike, and every comment and every random story they say that they think is irrelevant, but you still memorize and take to heart. When you memorize every little detail of their face. When you look into their eyes, and it entrances you. When you look into their eyes and you can’t imagine doing that with anyone else. When you look into their eyes and see everything you want and need. When you hold them, and they’re holding you, and you feel so happy, so content, that it feels like home. But love is also when you still want to do all that stuff, you still want to hold them, after they have been stressing you and frustrating you. After disagreements, after fights. Or after a long shitty day at work. Love is hard. It’s complicated. And it takes a lot of work and communication.
203: Do I judge a book by its cover? - When I was younger, yes. But I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve met a lot of people that have changed my views
204: Have I ever had my heart broken? - Yes.
205: Do I like my handwriting? - Lol it’s ugly. I write really small.
206: Sweet or savoury? Savoury
207: Worst job I’ve had? - I guess that would be my first job. Hard labor, low pay. But I could call in sick like once a week at that job. Lol
208: Do I collect anything? - Naaah
209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? - I feel so naked without a watch on when I’m out of the house.
210: What is on my bucket list? - Go to Old Trafford and watch Manchester United play
211: How do I handle anger? - I do my best to chill and think about why I’m getting angry.
212: Was I named after anyone? - Not that I know of.
213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? - Not as much now. I’m really boring now. Lol. I’m too serious now.
214: What TV character am I most like? - Either Ross Geller or Ted Mosby
215: What is the weirdest talent I have? - My ability to be so nonchalant about a lot of stuff, but super crazy serious about other stuff. Idk. Lol
216: Favourite fictional character? - Snape
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TRANSCRIPT: 1x01 - Twelve Oh One
Hey, folks! Bee here. Y’all reached out to me about transcripts awhile back, and, hey, since the season’s over, I’m gonna start posting them! As a person with attention issues, I super get the need for transcripts, and I’m sorry for not delivering on them sooner.
I’m also reediting episodes right now, so. Those corrections will be posted about as they happen. Anyway. Here we go. Episode one, which you can listen to here, if you so please.
TERESA:
Okay, so--it’s recording. Cool .
Um. It’s Wednesday. It’s been nine days since--eight days, maybe? --well, if you’re listening, at this point, you know what it was--Benji says we’re gonna publish this, but, like, no. That’s--that’s ridiculous. This is for science.
Or our memoirs. Whatever.
We’ve--the seven of us have decided to keep a log. Of what’s been going on.
Um. So. Cool. Name and deets, just in case some more weird memory shit goes down--My name’s Teresa. I’m eighteen. I’m an Aries, I like bowling and shitty pop music, and only mostly ironically. That enough fluff? I’m a freshman at, ah, Lands College, here in town, and. Studying journalism, with a minor in women’s studies, uh--anything else--I feel like this would be a better story if I start showing, rather than telling.
Or, like. Telling stories rather than just reading out my dating profile. Because that’s lame.
My dating profile’s actually--it’s a lot more detailed than that. I’m on, like, seven different sites, and every profile is. Very Different.
(text notification sound)
[lean away from mic]
Anj, stop--stop listening in! You--you--dude, take a nap.
[and we’re back]
So. Anyway. Here’s what we know.
[long beat]
That was good, right? A good joke? That’s something. Um. Cuz we don’t know very much at all. There’s something there, I swear, like, I rehearsed that bit in the bathroom mirror this morning, and I was thinking, no, I won’t pull that, but--
But. Back to the point.
Y’know how, in movies, people are always like, “Nobody knows except for us?”
That’s so exclusive. So presumptuous. We don’t know if people are lying. We haven’t spoken to every person on the planet--we haven’t even spoken to anyone outside of Maryland. Outside of town. Like. We’ve watched news, but God knows, some of those conspiracies about hypnosis through CNN are real, or whatever. Y’know? Like--those conspiracies are almost exclusively believed in by, like, flat-earthing racists, so, like, they’re probably, definitely super wrong, but--I was making a joke and I’m overthinking it now. Cool.
Anyway. We don’t know who knows. Maybe someone in, like, Caracas, knows? Maybe someone in--you get my point--knows.
Or maybe we’re being Truman Showed. Wouldn’t be the worst theory to have come out of this.
I would--well, I’d hate it, but one time, back in middle school, the public library did these--these movie nights for teenagers, right? And, so, uh, a bunch of us were there, and I was sitting with Angie, cuz she was--she was the only person I knew there, of course, and she was sitting with these kids, like--uh, from the hippie school she had taken in, and--one of them was AJ, I know, and one was Charlotte. but the others, I don’t see anymore.
But anyway, she was, like, starry-eyed at the idea of her life being a TV show without her knowing. At the idea of unintentional stardoms. So maybe she’ll get a kick out of that theory.
Here’s something: I was working on my campaign notes earlier, cuz the group’s meeting tomorrow, should meet tomorrow and I didn’t really--I didn’t like a few of the potentials, so, whatever. Irrelevant.
I checked the time, and--well. It was twelve oh one. And two minutes later, it was still twelve oh one. And now, it’s still twelve oh one.
I thought maybe my laptop was being bad again? But it said the same on my phone, and on the wall clock.
The app says time is passing. It’s been longer than fifty-nine seconds.
It’s still twelve oh one, though, is the thing. Which isn’t great, all things considered.
But, we’ll catch up on that later.
Here’s the big thing. I went back to the beach last night to see if I could recreate what happened alone, and, uh--at least. I think I did. I don’t remember going, but, uh, Angie says I did, and AJ said that when he was closing at work, he saw me walking towards it. But I didn’t--I didn’t go.
There are sixty-nine--which, yeah, nice, that’s the sex number, whatever--sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, and, like--I can make out letters on some of them them? Individual letters? But not words. And I know that they’re making words, and I know that it’s my handwriting, but my brain just--it goes somewhere else.
And other ones, that I can read, they have dumb stuff. One of them’s just a doodle of David Hyde Pierce with a caption that just says “HELL YEAH. LOOK AT THE MOON WEDNESDAY.”
It’s, like--in fairness to me, or the person I assume to be me, it’s a fairly good David Hyde Pierce. And there’s--there’s a new moon tonight, so--well.
Whatever.
It’s still twelve oh--oop. Nevermind. Twelve oh two now. Nice.
Benji wants me to take off work until this whole thing’s sorted out. Says he’ll still pay me, but, like--being yelled at by awful dudes about trivia that nobody knows is kind of the only constant in my life right now? So I said no. Obviously. Like. It sucks, but it makes me feel normal. Like the beach out by Angie’s place did, before--
Well. Maybe some recollection would be nice, I guess. Just so, like, Danny and company--like, if we end up showing them. Cuz I’m better at sticking to the facts than, say, Robin or Charlotte. So. Yeah.
So. Uh.
Most folks know that she transferred in after a semester at--well, I’m not allowed to say the name of the school in front of her, anymore, and she’s, like, giving me death-eyes out of the bedroom door. But. A certain Ivy League school. This is relevant--
Okay, maybe not, but it’s a nice set up to our establishing shot, which is, of course, her New Year’s party, nine days ago. At her parents’ place. Or, eight days ago, at her parents’ place, I guess. She told us on New Year’s Eve that she was starting at Lands on the fourth, and I offered her a stay in my dorm, cuz I had a single, and, uh, it sucked? But. Whatever.
So I said, “You know, I have a single.” And she said--wait, lemme find my journal--yes, I do write down conversations, Angie.
Alright. She said, “Oh, really, is it on--Bandcamp, Soundcloud, iTunes, MySpace? I didn’t know you--” And I said, “I meant dorm room, dude, you mentioned--MySpace?”
She said, “I still use it.” I laughed, “Of course you do.”
But, anyway. We agreed to live together, but. It was one AM. Robin Cabell dropped by with her new fiancee, said hi, and--well, like, our babysitter’s getting married, to, like, this gorgeous girl from DC, and the high school kids from the hippie school were there, and Benji was there, cuz he’s everywhere, and--
As folks left--Angie started playing Wonderwall around 3AM, so, uh, a little bit before then--it ended up just being the seven of us. Her parents are out of town--as always. Well, not always. But frequently.
They’re mad about--Blarvardgate.
I--I didn’t say it! I said something mildly close alluding to it. Stop texting me!
But. It was just the seven of us there, Angie still playing some terrible 90s song, and--Benji says, “I brought fireworks. Forgot about that til now.” Elaine, uh, Robin’s new fiancee, asked, “They legal?”
Benji said, “It’s New Year’s Day and I’m a--a bit of a town celebrity,” he said, because his podcast gets, like, seventeen downloads per episode.
“You are?” asked Elaine.
He got really proud, real fast, and he said, “Yes, absolutely, and also, I’m at some rich people’s house and it’s New Year’s Day, so, like. We’ll be fine.”
Which, fair.
And that’s about when things blew up?
Ironically, not literally, cuz he went to his truck, and brought out the fireworks, and he was--well. It was New Year’s, he wasn’t sober, so, he tripped, and those things went flying, landing in the water. It was a bad fall, he hit his head on a rock. And Charlotte was laughing, and she was wading right where the waves were breaking, and she fell backwards, so--AJ panicked, and he jumped in after her, cuz she wasn’t coming up.
And AJ came up, holding Char so she could stand, and she was coughing up water, looked like she was about to pass out. I was checking out Benji’s wound, even though, I’m, like,--blood? Not my thing, ever, at all, it’s--it’s weird and red, and Angie was getting up to check on me, and Rob and her fiancee were trying to help out the kids, and--
And the sky went bright purple.
Not, like, when it’s a sunset, and the sky’s kinda magenta? And that’s blending into the night-sky color, but--
Like, highest saturation on photoshop, highest brightness, makes-you-almost vomit cuz your eyes are burning, that bright purple.
And my skin, it felt like it was burning. I smelled salt, felt a breeze, and I tried to close my eyes, to breathe out, but I couldn’t.
And then there was nothing.
And then I woke up on the beach. I could smell salt, I was totally clear-headed--and Benji’s cut? It was gone.
My watch said it was around 4AM. My phone was dead, but--it was the first, still. The sun was rising, in--in normal sky colors.
And I woke up second. Elaine was already up.
She asked me if I saw it too.
I said I that did.
Neither of us needed to clarify what. But we did. Obviously. Because “it” could be, like, anything, like--could be that new reality show that everyone’s super into where eliminations are decided by arm wrestles--it’s, like--it’s got compelling storylines, I swear.
My phone died, Angie, so if you’re trying to communicate, I can’t help you.
Oh! Time’s passing normally now. That’s nice. That’s good.
The plan was to recount the past week’s events, as well as their psychological effect on us. That’s what we agreed on.
So. Time stopped for a little while today. That was weird. That’s important.
I guess--I’m first, so I should talk about my other big experience too.
I was the fourth of us to see something, after it all? It was the third. After work, I was walkin’ to Ramon’s? And as I passed the custard stand, I saw this woman.
She was shorter than me, uh, long sundress on that was way too summery for this weather, but she didn’t seem cold. I offered her my hoodie, cuz I at least had long sleeves, but she didn’t answer. Dark hair, big sunglasses. I’d wager maybe thirty.
She took off her sunglasses, yeah? And the sky flashed purple--the same purple, the same burning feeling all over me--
And then the same nothingness, same smell of salt, same breeze, but--
I was still standing. And we were in this space, this--this purple nothingness, no ground, no sky, no nothing, that’s a double negative, you get what I mean, and--I was still standing--more floating, which was--not as pleasant as you’d expect? But not unpleasant, either. And this woman, she looked at me, dead in the eyes, and--
And she said--
[beat, uncomfortable]
What did she say?
[laughs]
It’s--it’s in my head, like. Tip of my tongue. I wrote it down, but it’s--it’s another individual letters making out a word I know but can’t--type situation.
But whatever.
What I’m most concerned about is my going to the beach. About the sticky notes. Like, that’s some sci-fi bullshit. Or some horror bullshit. Either or. Probably both.
Again, Truman Showed. Viable theory, here.
Or it has something to do with the Groundhog Day thing. Maybe.
I think what bothers me about this is how easy I’m accepting all this--that, like, I’m fairly sure all this is real. I know it’s--it’s weird. I know that this is sci-fi-esque, but, like--I never saw myself as a protagonist, or--any kind of tagonist, I guess, in those stories. But this--now, I think that I am.
So. Cool.
But why do I think that’s cool? I’m the--I’m the socially-stilted nerdy girl who either dies second or gets really good at guns, and I’m very afraid of guns.
So, therefore? I’m dying second.
Or, or or or, I’m Lois Lane. Charming and tough young journalist, swept off her feet by a charming stranger. Hopefully not a Superman, though, cuz--he’s not my thing. But. Yeah. I can deal with Lois.
I feel like I should know what happens next. Me or Benji, we gotta, we’re the ones who know genre like the backs of our hands. That’s why we’re friends, but--
This isn’t supposed to happen here. Like, I grew up here, and I’m--I wasn’t planning to stay here forever, obviously, but--This town, VB, it’s--it’s comforting in its boringness. Sure, it’s not-- the people here are always cycling in-and-out, cuz tourism and school, and all that, but--Violet Beach is a normal-ass town. We don’t have ghost stories, we don’t have cryptids, we--we don’t have lore, or whatever. I don’t think there’s ever been a murder here, for God’s sake.
Okay, well--the hippie school’s headmaster, uh, the rebrander guy, Andrew Corielli, or--his son’s the mayor, right?--Shot that grocer, like, in the sixties. But everyone was a serial killer back then, if I can trust every true crime show ever.
But--my point is. What’s going on is not what happens in this town. What’s going on is what goes on in, like, Roswell, or--or Twin Peaks, or something.
I’m--I don’t have much else to say. That’s a conclusion if there ever was one. So. Uh.
Okay. I’m signing off. Thanks, guys. Hope to see you soon.
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