#I actually intended to have them kiss at the end or something but nope

[justiceforfoxface]

i agree we need more sfw coriolanus fics

can i request a fic where corio and reader are acquaintances in university, until they slowly but surely become closer and closer

i just want to read your depiction of coriolanus and what he’d be like in uni 😍

ok a) amazing idea b) i did not know what format to put this in so it sounds weird to me but i hope it sounds okay to yall c) enjoy :)

*I DON’T HAVE A CREATIVE TITLE FOR THIS*

:) 

Coriolanus Snow x Reader

Warnings: none. no use of y/n. this is sfw because were severely lacking in coryo fluff.

tried to keep coryo mostly canon here but i hope you like it :)

……..

Coriolanus Snow.

Everyone knew of him.

No one knew about him-or, that is to say, what he was really like. Just that he studied under Dr. Gaul herself and didn’t have any friends.

You had worked together once before, and you walked the same route to school. Every day, you would acknowledge each other, with just a nod, and that would be it. 

It probably seemed like just another thing to cross off on his daily to-do list to him, but to you, it was genuinely nice. You didn’t have many friends either, so even though he was acknowledging you out of pure manners and no actual friendliness, it made you feel a little happier.

One day, you got to University for breakfast like you did any time they served it. It didn’t taste good, but it was edible and filling, which was all that mattered to most students of the University when they had to get up early and clean themselves up to attend school.

You got yourself some food and then sat at a table, prepared to people-watch like you always did. Not in a creepy, stalkerish way. Just in a way that, if you had a camera and a permit, would be completely normal.

And your first people-watching subject, like it was most of the time, was none other than Coriolanus Snow himself.

He ate alone at the opposite corner of the room, his eyes never leaving his meal. He was the only student that didn’t have some sort of constant gossip about them, and yet he interested you the most because of that very reason. 

And then, his piercing blue eyes looked up and went directly to you, catching you in the act of staring at him and startling you. When he looked at you, you tensed up. You weren’t quite sure what you were bracing yourself for, but it couldn’t be good.

Instead, he just looked back down at his meal and continued to eat as if nothing had ever happened. 

Strange.

Your eyes traveled over the crowd of University students to move on to watching Lysistrata Vickers.

………

You get your breakfast the next day at the University like any other day, only to find Coriolanus Snow sitting at your table, directly across from where you normally would sit.

You consider walking over to his normal table and sitting there, but your curiosity overcomes you and you sit across from him. You eat in silence for a minute or two before he speaks.

“You were watching me yesterday.”

There was no point in denying it. “I was.”

“Why?”

There was no point in lying, either, not really. “Because I was interested. As to why you don’t have any friends, and why you sit alone every day.”

Coriolanus goes silent, and you begin to wonder if you’ve said something wrong. But then, he stabs at his meal with his fork and says, “I’m sitting here right now, aren’t I?”

You don’t know how to respond to that, and you doubt he’d take kindly to you saying, “That doesn’t count,” so instead, you stay quiet.

And it’s the best breakfast you’ve had since you began university.

…..

This becomes part of your daily routine as well. You and Coriolanus walked to school together, and sat and ate breakfast together in silence. No one else noticed the change, or they just didn’t ask about it. Sometimes, you would greet Coriolanus, or ask how his day was going, but you wouldn’t get long responses. He didn’t seem one for small talk.

You were one for small talk, but you could respect that he wasn’t. 

He spoke to you sometimes in class, as he did to other students. If he disagreed with anyone-or agreed-everyone would know it.

One day, after class, your things fall on the floor, and as you pick them up, Lysistrata approaches you, hands your book to you, and says, “I don’t know what you did, but it’s working.”

“What?” you say, very confused.

“Coriolanus.” Lysistrata explains. “Haven’t you noticed? He eats with you. He actually talks to you, and it’s not just to call you a failure. I think he likes you.”

“That doesn’t mean he likes me, it means he tolerates me.”

Lysistrata raises her eyebrow. “With Coriolanus, tolerating you is just him expressing his love for you. Trust me.” Her voice changes slightly. “I’ve seen it.”

You weren’t a mentor, but you remember once hearing that Coriolanus had some sort of something with his tribute last year. Lucy Gray Baird. From Twelve. 

You decided to ignore Lysistrata and ask Coriolanus about it the next day. She was joking, right? Or perhaps she was serious and just very wrong. Coriolanus didn’t love you.

Although, if he did-you wouldn’t turn him down.

……

The next morning, you build up your confidence on the walk to the University. The silence seems more awkward than peaceful.

When you get to breakfast and sit down comfortably, you slowly begin with, “You know, yesterday, Lysistrata was talking to me.”

“Hmm?” Coriolanus said. He was uninterested, which was clear as he took a bite of his food and largely ignored what you were saying.

You pressed on. “She said something…strange. About..you.”

That got his attention. His eyes went straight to yours, and you felt heat rise in your cheeks. 

Why couldn’t his eyes be brown or something?

“What’d she say?” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin and putting his fork down.

“She said…” You started losing all your confidence as his eyes read your soul. “She said she thought that you, um, loved me.”

There was no reaction on his face. “What did you say to her?”

“I said I thought she was lying.”

You cleared your throat, already drying up from nerves. “Was she?”

“What do you think?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

You became slightly irritated, even though you knew it was never good to be irritated at Coriolanus Snow. “I just said I thought she was lying, was she?”

A small smirk curved up the edge of his lips as he put another forkful of food to his mouth. “Yes.”

Your smile was pasted on your face on the outside, but on the inside, your face fell. You really thought you had something. That maybe you could’ve gotten the elusive Coriolanus Snow to show emotions. But maybe it was just a stupid idea.

“Right.” You whispered this, trying not to let your voice crack.

Why am I crying? Don’t cry. It’s a little thing. Don’t let it get to you.

You felt a surprisingly warm hand on your face, and you saw Coriolanus gently wiping a tear off of your cheek. 

“Don’t cry,” he said with a surprising gentleness. 

“Sorry,” you said, nodding and yet trying not to shake his hand off of your face. It was a nice, warm touch. “It’s a-it’s a stupid thing to cry about, I know.”

“Love’s not stupid.” Coriolanus said it almost angrily, and yet the anger was not directed at you. “Trust me, it’s not. It’s not stupid, but it does make you do…stupid things.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” You were praying that the next words he said were, Like saying you don’t love someone when you really do, but instead he just said, “…lots of things.”

…

Your daily routine stayed mostly the same. Except you talked during breakfast. About what? Everything. Some days, political conversations that bored you to death and made the spark in his eyes light up more than anything. And some days, conversations about the most random things that made both of you laugh.

Coriolanus’s laugh was what made you understand why people found rare things so precious. It was hard to get him to laugh, but you tried as much as you could every day, and relished in the little burst of happiness you got every time his small smile expanded and his eyes lit up.

You began to think he had maybe been lying about not loving you-but you tried not to think about it often, just in case you jinxed it.

But…he wouldn’t move away if your elbows or knees brushed against each other. With each passing day, he seemed more interested in what you had to say. 

And sometimes, when you walked to school together, your hands would brush, and he’d wrap his hand around yours, your hand disappearing in his, your fingers intertwined.

He’d always let go when you got close to the university, leaving your hand warm.

But you hoped one day he would walk up the stairs still holding your hand, or maybe even all the way to breakfast, and he’d sit next to you instead of across from you. 

It would happen someday, you hoped. But you knew Coriolanus wasn’t going to do that for just anybody. And even though you hoped you were more than just anybody to him, you were willing to be patient.

Word Count: 1,494

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Hey! I'm here again!

Can I request EJ, Hobo Heart, and Liu/Sully(separately and feel free to not do any of them if you can't think of anything) with a human S/O that just... bites. When it's affectionate bites, they'll make a "aaaaa" noise as they go for it, but when it's just plain aggressiveness... they just pounce and bite as hard as possible. Just like a dog or something!

EJ:

It's incredibly amusing to Jack. It's amusing for the fact that, as a feline demon (making him a predator demon, one with extremely sharp teeth built to pierce), he got himself a human that likes to chomp. You can't really deal any harm to Jack as his skin is so tough and with your human teeth you'd have to really, really intend to cause harm, so he doesn't mind at all when you get chompy with him. In fact, he thinks it's really, really cute, and he often tells you as much. The second he can feel you raising up to nom him, an adorable "Aahhhh" leaving your mouth, a smile is already blooming on his lips, and once you make contact he's bubbling with laughter, snorting at your happiness as you gently tug at his skin. He always wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, burying his face into your shoulder as you nibble away, overflowing internally with joy at how cute you are. Whenever you randomly jump at him and latch onto him with cute aggression bites he thinks it's doubly amusing, often rubbing your hair and questioning you on who you think it is that's the predator between the two of you. He'll tease you, saying he'll remind you that you're the prey between the two of you if he needs to, but it's just empty teasing. You can feel free to nibble on him whenever you want to, so long as you don't actually intend to cause any harm. Just don't make him want to start nibbling you back, as that's a much more risky behavior.

Hobo:

If you want to fluster and embarrass Hobo, this is certainly one of your guaranteed ways to do so. He always gets flustered from it, as you're pretty much his first real, true long-term partner, and you're certainly the first one to ever do something like this to him. He's not used to closeness and affection in general, so when you cutely bite him, holding him close as you do so it always has him blushing and making surprised little noises from it, his eyes looking anywhere but you because he's too sheepish to make eye contact with you. You always find this to be incredibly adorable, and it often makes you want to tease him more, which just makes him whine and bury his face into his arms because he can't handle it. You've gotta be careful with pouncing at him, and I don't know if I'd recommend it unless he can see you going to do it. If you pounce from behind it'll probably scare him, and his wings will puff up and he'll probably jump into the air, and he'd feel really, really bad if he ended up hurting you on accident in the process. So, just pounce from the front or announce yourself first. Regardless, always make sure to press a bunch of kisses around wherever you were biting, and then to his face, as it reassures him you're doing it out of love and affection and not as some sort of punishment or way to cause harm. He finds himself shocked at how he comes to look forward to the little moments when you nibble on him.

Liu:

You bite the Liu, the Liu bites back. Liu thinks you're the cutest in the world when you bite him, but he can't let you have all the fun, can he? Nope! So every time you start to nibble him, he nibbles on you too, getting his teeth on whatever part of your body he can reach, even if he has to tug your hand or arm toward his mouth so he can get at something. I can see him also racing you toward it, trying to nom on you before you can do it to him, making it a little competition between the two of you. He'll scoop you up into his arms and nip at any part of you he can reach, and if he's feeling particularly teasing, he'll tickle you while he does so until you're laughing and squirming as you try and get out of his grasp. Sometimes though, he'll fakely act like you're being too much, sighing when you nibble on him and shaking his head, patting yours and asking what he's going to do with you when you keep being so troublesome, though you both know he doesn't mean it. Whenever you go to more aggressively bite him, he has one of two outcomes. Either he gasps really loudly or cries out, acting as though he's actually being attacked, sometimes putting on such a good show you actually have to check in on him. The other is that he attacks right back, playfully growling at you while he pins you down and chomps all over you. To Liu, it's a fun, cute little thing that the two of you can do together, and he always welcomes it.

[yourstrulyrika]

happy new year people. i disappeared for some time but i was farming for my babygirl ruan mei. also i have the biggest hungover so sorry if my fic below’s gonna be a bit rusty…?? but anyway!!

just look at her. i need HER

bdkdbdkdbdj!!! anyway to the actual smut now

characters — ethan winters, leon kennedy, chris redfield

type of fic — headcanons!! (i will write a proper fic one day no worries)

today’s topic: riding!

warnings — fem!reader, besides that none, it’s mostly comfort sex of some sorts because i looveee it, but there’s just a bit of angst in Leon’s and Ethan’s parts. mostly in Leon’s. also spoilers for re8.

Re8!Ethan Winters

— okay hear me out. after the whole village thing this man became PARANOID. who wouldn’t really? let’s assume you’re in place of Mia. he’s always over you after that, overprotective is not strong enough of a word. and you, being his beloved, couldn’t watch him stress himself into oblivion. and that’s where the idea came.

— at first, Ethan was a bit surprised. he’s a total service dom, of course he agreed, but you never really proposed this idea. not that he doesn’t like it!!

— so when you started peppering kisses all over his face, cupping his cheeks and kissing his pretty features, he let out the prettiest moan you ever heard. it straight out sounded *angelic*. and that just confirmed how excited he is beneath all this anxiety. you’re not even riding him yet, and he’s already the prettiest mess <3

— but when you actually took him inside? he’s sure he got *blessed*. that’s what he is. blessed. totally lost his mind the second you took him whole. and when you start moving? dear god, he’s so quick to cum, he’s a little embarrassed. but you comfort him and tell him it’s okay <3

— during the whole thing though, he’s always holding you. he’s never ever separated from you, nope, always holding your hand, or his hands on your hips, cupping your breasts or pretty cheeks and kissing all over you, just like you did to him <3 sex with Ethan is always so comforting to both of you. also, Ethan totally adores tits. like he loves your titties, no matter the size. just a thought <3

Vendetta!Leon Kennedy

— okay hear me out. i picked vendetta Leon because this man needs love. i genuinely love vendetta Leon so fucking much.

— he’s always so tired, doesn’t want to do a thing even when you’re around, he doesn’t even propose sex anymore. he feels *guilty*, like he’s neglecting you, but he’s just too tired to be his dominant self. he needs a break, and some love, desperately. and you plan on giving him just that

— he’s not sure why you stick around him. why you still love him when he’s a total mess. when you ask him to let you ride him, he didn’t know what to say. it wouldn’t be the first time, no, but it’s just— something in his mind. why would you want to do that? did you pity him? is that what this is about? but then you kiss him. and he agrees instantly, melting into the kiss.

— he actually got so hard when you straddled him. when you fished his cock out, it was already throbbing against his stomach. you started with showing love to him (and his cock), and he quite literally started tearing up. he needed this, even if he didn’t know that earlier. he’s not making much sounds, but you just know he loves it.

— he wanted to instantly return the favor but you made him just sit prettily and take it. he reluctantly agreed. when you start riding him, god, he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman. an angel, his angel. just watching how your pussy takes his cock, swallows him whole (no re4 pun intended btw), your juices mixing — it makes him lose his mind. he actually takes a bit of time to cum, and you know, Leon IS observant . so when he notices you growing even a bit tired, he takes control and guides your hips. no denials, nope, you’re being guided, end of discussion.

— when he cums, it’s inside you, vulnerable tears leaking down his cheeks. you kiss all of them away, and Leon smiles for the first time in eternity. he’s so grateful for you <3

Re8!Chris Redfield

— HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TITS? HAVE YOU SEEN THEM TITS????? dear god im feral for this MANWHORE!!! he is a slut. a whore. himbo.

— when you proposed riding, he was like yeah okay, because he’s a hard dom, okay? he’s a dom. he’s controlling the place even when you’re on top. you’re still *under his control* when riding him. and it’s fucking hot. if you want him to be sub, tie him up. that’s the only way btw.

— anyway! when you actually start riding him, his hands NEVER leave your hips. gripping them so hard he leaves bruises, makes you bounce hard on his dick just to see your body bounce. specifically your tits. if you’re doing reverse cowgirl though? dear god he loves it. loves slapping your ass, loves watching it jiggle. it either has to be ass or tits, he’s always appreciating one of them if not both. depends on how you ride him.

— his head is buried in your chest/shoulder, lets out the hottest grunt there dear god. it’s muffled by your skin, but it makes *you* cum on the spot. he just chuckles, praising you and calling you his pretty girl. also. he knows you love when he rubs his beard against your skin — he does just that. he loves making you clench around him, makes him feel powerful.

— so we all agree that Chris is HUGE right? Like 8 inches or 9. (this is literally the most, more than 9 inches would actually hurt you. remember that big cock is not everything !!! too big hurts !!! smaller don’t!!) also he’s fucking thick. fills you up so well. doesn’t matter if you’re chubby, skinny, whatever, he makes a belly bulge every time. and he ADORES IT. he cums on the spot when he sees that. and the amounts of cum he spills out? he fills you up like you’re a cream puff. filled with cum that if he pulls out, you’re leaking it down your thighs instantly. and he’s so proud of himself!

end!

sorry guys, had to disappear for a while </3 back to farming honkai i go. wish me luck, i have the biggest fucking hungover after new years eve ahhh. ALSO! ETHAN AND CHRIS NEED MORE SMUT. PLEASE. IM DESPERATE DIDBFKDB i love all ethan and chris writers lemme gimme u a kiss. happy new years again btw!!

[sociallyrepressed]

season of the witch

Salem always glows this time of year. As soon as the first leaf departs from its tree, the residents line their lawns with plastic figures and blown-up monstrosities. The neighborhood children gather to bake Halloween cookies and carve pumpkins. Stores open for the flow of tourists hunting ghost stories- which is very lucky for Franco considering half of his business is guiding ghost tours during the busy season. The other half of his job is selling antiques while coming up with creative stories about how the previous owners still haunt them.

They’re not actually haunted- he checks them personally after he got in trouble with Lando for gifting him a potted plant that attempted to eat one of his students. Which is really Lando’s fault for not checking, because why did he put the plant in his classroom without even testing it for magical conformities? Anyways, it led to a traumatic series of events in which Lando had to wipe the child’s memory and tell her parents she got a concussion for misusing the monkey bars, and now Franco checks for traces of spell or curse residue before he sells them.

His thoughts are interrupted by the man himself.

“Are you going to help me put the lights up or not?” Lando’s leaning against the doorframe, hip cocked and eyebrow raised.

“If you tone down the sass I will think about it.” He ducks as his favorite mug is lobbed at his head- bright pink with black letters that read “witch, please”. It came in a matching set; Lando’s is dark gray with bright green letters that spell out “witch bitch” . Franco flicks his fingers to stop its momentum, protecting it from shattering on the floor. “Why do you not use magic to put them up? Clearly it is not above you.”

“Because we have to keep appearances for the neighbors. And also I thought it might be fun.” Lando pushes off the wall and disappears into the back hallway, returning with a bundle of lights and their cat darting around his heels, trying to get at the trailing ends. They are most definitely tangled, Franco sighs.

“You could not get them untangled.” 

“Nope. And also made it worse,” he looks entirely unapologetic as he dumps the lights onto the carpet in front of Franco, plopping onto his knees. He pulls Lucky Bastard (affectionately dubbed by Lando when they rescued him as a sopping pathetic little thing during a storm) into his lap, away from the lights, and pats the space next to him in invitation. And who is Franco to deny his- admittedly incompetent- witch. When Lando doesn't reach out and start tugging at the loose ends, Franco realizes his intended role. “But maybe you could work your magic.” Lando’s got this wide cheesy grin on his face, gap tooth on display. It’s the one Franco likes most because of how unguarded it is; it’s the one Lando weaponizes the most because he knows this.

“Ay, Lando, you are evil.” He still closes his eyes and reaches into his own soul, imagining a bright tangle of lights. He imagines it coming apart, pulling into organized pieces. The magic crackles in the air, and he knows in the silence Lando is watching, enraptured. 

He has his own talents and spells, but he always seems so captivated when Franco uses his magic- he’s been accused on more than one occasion of using some kind of enchantment, until Lando realized the reason for his interest was due moreso to his own feelings than any magical influence. 

It takes a few minutes to completely disentangle, if only for the reason Lando did, in fact, make the knot worse. By the time he opens his eyes, there are long strips in front of him and Lando is leaned forward on his knees, braced on his hands. His eyes are bright and excited, mouth curved into something happy. Lucky Bastard is already attempting to ruin the lights. Franco allows himself to tip forward just enough to press a light, fluttery kiss to the corner of Lando’s lips. He doesn't linger, instead pulling back and laughing as Lando tries to chase his lips and ends up faceplanting right into the lights. He’s scowling when he pushes himself back up, but Franco doesn't feel intimidated when there are imprints of bulbs across the side of his cheeks and temple.

“I thought you wanted to go put them up.” He stands and grabs one of the strings, making his way towards the front door.

“I hate you!” He hears it echo in the foyer, but he can also hear the hasty rustling of Lando getting up and grabbing a different strand. 

“Ah, if only that were true.”

--

“You are not funny, amor. It was not so funny the last four years, and it is not funny this year.” Honestly, Franco doesn't know how he puts up with so much. Lando thinks it's hysterical that he dresses up as a witch for the school’s celebration of All Hallow’s Eve. Witches are common costumes, but he’s still going to get in trouble with the local coven for some kind of appropriation. Last year, it was because “witches don't have ugly warts on their noses or cackle loudly”. (In Franco’s opinion, that describes the pompous witches in the coven perfectly.) Luckily, this year he’s toned it down to a dramatic black velvet robe, a scraggly wooden broom, and an offensively pointed hat that looks like it could genuinely hurt somebody. He’s put on a light layer of makeup to accentuate the shape of his eyes and make him more glow-y, which shouldn’t be doing it for Franco as much as it is.

“All the kids love it, plus I think it’s better than being a vampire.” He cocks his head to the side. “But that's probably because you’re pale enough to look like one already.” Lando reaches around and smacks Franco on the backside, and he can feel some heat rise to his face. “Oh, there’s your lively color!” 

“Do not start something we do not have time to finish,” Franco pushes Lando out of his face by convincing the car keys to collide with his cheek.

“Hey!” Franco is already turned out the front door and in the car before Lando can retaliate. “Cheater.” When he catches up he slinks into the passenger and drops the keys into the cupholder.

“Oh, baby, do not be such a sore loser. One day you will be fast enough to keep up,” he leans across the center console and kisses him. Contrary to what he said before, he’s the one to initiate their make-out session in the car. He has not always been so great with self-control, and Lando is looking at him with winged eyes and glossy lips pulled into a pout. He never actually stood a chance. They don't separate until Franco commits a transgression of the highest degree- he runs his hand through Lando’s hair and tugs a curl until it loosens. He squawks and jerks back, pulling down the passenger side visor just enough to see the top of his head so that he can fix his hair even though it's just going to get covered up by the witch’s hat anyway.

 Franco laughs and he keeps rustling different curls the whole drive (“Stop it! Focus on driving.” “Ah, my love, my eyes are on the road, I am not even thinking of you. I promise I am not doing anything.”). As they’re pulling into the parking lot, Lando is finally once again at peace with his hair. It’s a shame Franco’s one goal in life is to continually cause chaos.

He turns and reaches out again to grab Lando’s face, pulling it in. His pretty eyes are narrowed in suspicion as he leans his own face closer. Franco can feel him shiver when his breath ghosts over his ear, “your lipgloss is smudged, my love.” Lando shoves him away again and smacks his shoulder.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

“You have said this already multiple times, yet I do not believe you anymore now than I did earlier.” Lando pauses his movement just long enough to send him a stink eye. He opens his mouth to say something but Franco cuts him off, “oh, look. The party has started, and we are now late.” The lights in the gymnasium are flashing greens and pinks, some type of loud music permeating the otherwise quiet night.

His witch snorts but gets out of the car, straightening his costume. When Franco moves to get out, his door locks. Everytime he unlocks it, it relocks.

“Lando.” He sends some leaves to flutter around Lando’s head. Suitably distracted trying to protect his hair from further assault, Franco gets out of the car. When they actually get inside of the gym, a group of middle schoolers all flock to Lando, chattering excitedly. He’s content to stand to the side and observe, but one of the kids sees him and points.

“Mr. L, is that your boyfriend?” Lando sputters for a few moments, both to the amusement of the kids and Franco. But when he looks at Franco with wide eyes, he decides to step in and introduce himself.

“Yes, I’m Franco. His boyfriend.” Witches don't usually do the whole dating and marriage thing. When they’re born, their souls are split into fragments, and one of the fragments is used as a courting gift that binds with a soul fragment of another witch. It’s far more intimate than the courting rituals of regular mortals. He does not explain this to the kids. One girl that looks vaguely familiar stares him down, a frown on her lips.

“He may be your boyfriend, but he’s our teacher. So we get to have him tonight since we’re at school, plus we want to win the pizza party.” Franco raises his eyebrows, but Lando’s got this glint in his eyes that can only spell mischief.

“Audrey, Franco is really good at games. He can help us win.” He’s not really listening to Lando because it clicks into place- this is the girl the plant tried to eat. Now he’s obligated to help them win the pizza party since he’s the reason she almost died, even if she doesn't remember.

“Yes. I will help you all win.” The kids cheer and storm through until they get to the side of the gym housing all the carnival games. Franco and Lando trail behind. “You are an evil, evil man.”

“I don't know what you're talking about. Come on, we have to win. I’ll be damned if I ever hear George talking about how superior his class is just because they got a pizza party again.” Franco rolls his eyes, but links their fingers together and they wander over to play games.

Later, they’re back in their house, in their bed, curled around each other. Lucky Bastard is on top of Lando’s chest, purring loudly. Lando presses feather soft kisses to the side of Franco’s face, and he can feel their soul fragment glow warm and soft.

[whentommymetalfie]

Tagged by @bouncydragon. Thank you for giving me a chance to ramble!

20 questions for fan fiction writers

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

53

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

642 307 (!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Peaky Blinders

4. Top five fics by kudos

Breathe again, Kiss with a fist, Family is family, Little talks, Shattered and hollow

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to always do that for my WIPs but sometimes I forget to when I get a comment on an older fic. But that doesn't mean I don't read and appreciate them!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I was about to say that I never write angsty endings, because I can't handle them, but then I remembered about whumptober where I dabbled in that, sort of. I think it's a tie between Aversion and Confinement, and even those have a glimpse of hope at the end because I'm just like that.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh that's a tough one, since happy endings are my jam, so I've got plenty. But I think that To live a life, an installment in my first AU has a very happy ending, considering the angst that comes before.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I recall getting like... one really nasty comment once, years ago, but I've completely forgotten what it said, because I just deleted it and was sad about it for a few days and now it's gone from my mind, I just remember it happening because it's so rare.

And I've gotten a comment or two where a reader has disapproved of something in a fic, or where it's clear that they've interpreted something an entirely different way than I intended, and where they've chosen to express that in a not entirely nice way. I think when that's happened, I've left the comment, but haven't responded to it, because I just don't feel like going into discussions or spending my energy of that. But mostly all my readers are incredibly kind, which is a huge reason why I keep posting my work.

9. Do you write smut?

I have on occasion written a fic or two mostly focused on smut, upon request, and I incorporate sex-scenes into fics when I feel they serve a purpose.

10. Craziest crossover?

I've never written one, but I'm not opposed to them

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope

14. All time favorite ship?

Well got to be Tommy/Alfie right? Just look at all my... stuff.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have plenty of shorter unpublished wips where I've just wanted to 'try' an idea, or get something out of my head. Or be especially self indulgent. Those never get past the draft stage. But anything I truly want to finish and post, I usually do finish. Eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I honestly think that one of my writing strengths is keeping at it, even when everything feels impossible, because without that stubbornness, many of my fics would've gotten finished. Cheesy as it may sound.

On a more technical note, I think -hope- that I'm good finding a good pace in my stories, at least my latest ones. And... describing emotions maybe.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The first thing that comes to mind, and that often feel the most limited by, is that English is my second language. That always adds a layer of insecurity. And I'm not great at writing action, or scenes with many characters (I always feel like I'm trying to juggle with way too many balls)

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think it can work great when it serves a purpose, but with my lacking language skills I just incorporate into the text that a character isn't speaking English, rather than typing the dialogue out in the actual language.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

My first ever fanfic I posted was for True Blood. Ten years ago now, which feels crazy.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Tough one... If I'm only allowed finished fics, I'd have to say Breathe Again, because it's my first truly long, multi-chaptered project and I grew a lot as a writer -I think- while writing that. But I do want to give Home to you it's own shoutout (even if I have yet to finish that last chapter that's haunting me because I'm so afraid to mess it up) because it's so intrinsically connected to Breathe again.

tagging (with no pressure of course, and apologies if you've already been tagged) @abusivelittlebunny @100dabbo @andtherewerefireworks @elskiee

[landoscaring]

fic writer interview ty to the wonderful @volantium for tagging me on this! reading yours was fascinating, so tysm for giving us a glimpse into your fic-brain. i cannot promise that mine will be anywhere near as interesting, but oh well.

how many works do you have on AO3? 26

What's your total AO3 word count? 129,499

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

secret's a blinking light (lando/oscar) (formula one rpf)

i see the way (betty/jughead) (riverdale)

see it through my eyes (love me like no other) (betty/jughead) (riverdale)

new romance (ILYSFM) (lando/oscar) (formula one rpf)

kisses (lando/oscar) (formula one rpf)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i try to! sometimes i get overwhelmed when i get comments on fics i haven't updated (ehem, new romance and never break the chain) because they make me feel like, i can't reply until i have an update? weird guilt thing, i know. but i do love replying to comments and i've even met some really cool pals through them!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? hmm. i'm not huge on ending a fic on an angsty note, tbh. i like to sandwich my angst (if it exists at all, lol) so we get a happy ending and everyone's smiling. however, i did originally plan to have we might as well be strangers end exactly as it does in chapter 1, with lando regretting not having told oscar he'd loved him back when he had a chance, alone in his bed watching mercedes-oscar's interview. alas, i was peer pressured (lol) into adding more chapters to give them a happy ending, and i have to admit i loved doing that! now that i think about it i did write a varchie (archie/veronica) once where they meet after years of not seeing each other and part ways, so, maybe that?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? all of them???? i mean. i am a sucker for giving people what they want, which in this case is lando and oscar kissing, so. yeah.

Do you write crossovers? nope! not that i'm opposed to doing so, it's just never been something i've been interested in. maybe one day!

Have you ever received hate on a fic? nope, but i did get a really odd comment in my secret's a blinking light fic a few months ago about how the user was "loving the absolute lack of research and angst in this fic". which, fair enough on 50% of the comment because i did tag it as angst and then proceeded to write the fluffiest shit ever? but re: research i did make a note of the fact that i had not researched australian migratory policy at all and did not intend to, so, rude.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes! i don't know what kind is the "tries to make it hot but ends up extremely corny because your honor they love each other!!!!!" type but uh, that one.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope (that i know of, so).

Have you ever had a fic translated? not yet! as a bilingual fic writer AND a professional translator i've considered doing it myself a couple times for the sake of adding more landoscar works in spanish to ao3 and allowing people who want to enjoy fic in spanish to do so, as well as just practicing my translation skills which is always fun outside of work, but i've never actually sat down to do it! might.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically no, but i have been beta-ed so i guess that counts! i just recently (like yesterday) got my pal élé to beta my landoscar fics for me, which has been AMAZING so far. so, anything i write is half hers now.

What's your all-time favorite ship? ugh, people are gonna cancel me for this one but i am a huge sucker for lily/james, harry/ginny, and sirius/remus. haven't read any of these in a while, though!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? none! i plan on finishing my two landoscar wips soon, like, definitely before the end of the year. i don't like the idea of not finishing them at all (i owe it to the fans, of course).

What are your writing strengths? uhhh. hm. well. i have been told i'm good at dialogue? and like, giving my characters authentic voices. i personally pride myself in that, so i'm choosing to believe it's true.

What are your writing weaknesses? i want things to be perfect! and i sometimes get stuck on descriptions, like, i either want to write 4 pages of prose where i describe a window (á lá tolkien, y'know) or i do not want to address a single thing in a room and just want to write dialogue between people, so. that.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? all good! haven't done it, i don't think, but i don't see a problem with it. if it fits the narrative, sure.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? riverdale! man i was OBSESSED with this show before it crashed and burned. my bughead fics hold a special place in my heart because they were my first attempts at creative writing outside of school/university.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? hmm, not sure tbh. i've always wanted to try my hand at harry potter, more as a tribute to my early years of consuming fic than anything else (i am aware of the problematic aspect of it) but i don't think i ever will.

What's your favorite fic you've written? !!!!! unfair question, they're all my babies!!!! but uh, don't tell my other fics but i am a huge sucker for new romance and secret's a blinking light. maybe i'm just obsessed with marrying people off, now that i think about it, lol. but every single thing i've written is so, so special to me and i am proud of what i can come up with. i've mentioned this to multiple people but i do not plan my fics at all (sigh, i know) and sometimes when i read them back i'm like, "wow, i wrote this in 3 hours straight out of the shower? niiiiice" (not bragging, by the way, this is extremely irresponsible writing).

cue me telling everyone that i drafted an (albeit short) outline for a landoscar song of achilles fic, so. do not take advice from me, ever.

i am fairly new to this fandom so i don't have any writer pals to tag (be friends with me, i beg!!!). if you see this in your tl and you wanna jump in, go ahead and tag me so i can peek!

[rythmicjea]

Hobbyism is the best way to get through grief. ~Cole Sprouse

NEW FIC BACKSTORY

Okay... so... This is an odd one (and a long one). This is kind of representative of my current "chaos era". It's a bit of a story and I put most of it in the A/N. But this was not a story I was ever intending to write. In fact, I am not part of the fandom (scandalous I know), and better yet, I had no idea that the show even existed until this past November... But apparently it was big! My excuse is that I was not of the demographic for it age wise. I think if it's age appropriate, anyone can watch anything. Rock on, man.

The backstory of this goes, I found out that my baby boy (cat) Jayne, had advanced kidney disease. For a brief and shining moment, I thought that he would beat the odds. Unfortunately, he was gone within two weeks. I held him as he passed. I have a little altar to him on my desk because he will never be forgotten. But, in my grief, I knew I needed to find an outlet. While I can't journal write (I absolutely hate it lol) I can tell stories. And I wanted to write something very dark and nihilistic that basically combined Peaky Blinders with Riverdale (Chaos Era).

So while I was falling down the Jeronica rabbit hole, I was gathering playlists and mashup videos to aid in my inspiration. But, the story refuse to appear. Instead, YouTube kept suggesting clips from a show I had never heard of. And the clips were OLD. Like from over 10 years ago. Though I said I was uninterested the recs kept coming. So I did ONE google search. I read ONE synopsis. I saw a cast list and I saw a timeline of a relationship. I thought that was all I needed. My brain said NOPE!

The timeline of this relationship ended every entry with "and they hugged". I was very confused about why this couple was only hugging. Then when I saw that the last episode was graduation I got a little more incensed. I had two puzzle pieces that didn't connect without a third. So, I asked around. I have friends that were of the age demographic at the time this was on. And every one of them said that 1.) they loved the show and 2.) It was a very Disney show. Now, there were some sporadic kisses here and there but I remember being that age in high school and while I wasn't some "light BDSM scene on the second time I ever had sex" (Looking at you Bughead in Riverdale...) I definitely did more than just hug my high school boyfriend.

Even though I wasn't satisfied with the answer I thought that was the end of it. My brain had other ideas. My brain told me that if I didn't write this story then I would never write again. Well. That's death to a creative type like me. While I never wrote every day or even put out stories consistently, I was still crafting stories in my head. I needed to be able to write. I was in a desperate state. So I thought "fine, I'll write 3000 words, delete it, and then write what I want."

I wrote 10,000 words in one sitting.

I wrote 50,000 words in 18 days.

I didn't watch the show until I was like 80% done with the fic.

It currently stands over 100,000 words.

If you've made it this far you're going "WHAT IS THE STORY?!"

Okay, I'll tell you. It turns out I was being recommended the clips because of an actor. This actor is Cole Sprouse. I knew him mostly as Ben Geller from Friends. I didn't know he had an actual career before Riverdale. I just thought he did something as a kid, and then came back after college. I was so wrong... So so so so so wrong...

If you guessed The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and The Suite Life on Deck you would be correct.

This massive story started as a way to explain why Cody and Bailey "only hugged". Turned into a love story. I made Zack not straight and married to a man with identical twin girls. London is a pediatric surgeon (and I still stand by that decision knowing what I know now). And Cody and Bailey are probably the least likable characters in the entire thing but they are relatable. This is a story of trying to find love after you discover the amount of abuse you went through. Why running from things is not ideal. And maybe, even when you live an outlandish life, there's some normalcy to discover. It's kind of dark, but there's a lot of humor. If you're not familiar with the show, I would just think of it as an original work. (I know, I know... certain death for a fanfic writer lol)

If you enjoy it, please drop a kudos and my comments section is open and I welcome kind and constructive criticism and questions. Like, fuck me up with questions. Please.

[missjessefantastico]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Starting a new thread bc the original was getting long

Thanks so much for the tag to the bestie @reallyreal-madeingold

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 5

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 54,497, going to get way longer once i finish and post paper dolls, which i'm still working on but yet...

3. What fandoms do you write for? i have only been writing for btvs these days, i once wrote a sanders sides fic i never got around to writing the sequel for bc i went thorugh a years long period of burnout

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? this is... basically just a list of my ao3 fics lmao

Shelter - sanders sides. it's a human au where roman is trans an tbh i don't really remember the plot, sorry lol. it has light analogical tho

Paper stars, empty caskets - btvs. it's the start of my vamp willow origin story and it's the most canon compliant part of the series

Paper cloud, open windows - btvs. second part of paper stars and uh... remember those kids that got possesed by hyenas? this is about the blonde girl and vamp willow kissing (kinda)

Paper butterflies, something amiss - btvs. third part of the vamp willow origin story, it deals with some flashbacks about jesse willow and xander, but also about some of the things we didn't get to see vamp willow do in part 2

it was an hp fic so here's a link to donate to help trans youth instead

5. Do you respond to comments? yes, i love them, i in fact eat them yum yum

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? paper butterflies for sure

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? it depends on what you want from happy, shelter has a hopeful ending, paper stars has a gory yet cathartic ending imo, paper clouds... well... it has a fade to black but i promise you they were very happy

8. Do you get hate on fics? i don't think so, the closest it ever got to it was when i was posting one of my original stories to a forum and someone gave me recommendations, but it was very constructive and polite

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? does it count if i never actually write it down? lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i don't think this counts as a crossover, but i used to write rpf for was used to be my favorite band and i would just... insert other famous people in it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i feel like i have but im not entirely sure. i remember a friend helped me with a chapter of an rpf fic so i just added her as a cowriter, then when i started to write another fic she just assumed she was a cowriter for that one too? i never finished either of those fics and they weren't on ao3 tho

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? to write? whatever fits the story i guess, but otherwise i just like almost any willow ship, she can do whoever she wants and i will support her

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? can't think of one, the ones i abandoned are better off abandoned and the other unfinished story i have is paper stars and i do intend to finish that one

16. What are your writing strengths? by virtue of "i just re-read a scene of paper clouds where heidi is spiralling and i liked it very much", im going to say that writing spiralls is my strength

17. What are your writing weaknesses? dialog, idk how to mix it with inner thoughts, working on it tho

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i like it, i havent done it in a long while but im not against it, i think it's cool

19. First fandom you wrote for? it's either that band i mentioned earlier, or phineas and ferb, except i never posted the pnf one and i did end up turning it into an original story (that i never finished)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? so far it's paper clouds, idk if paper dolls will surpass it, i'll have to wait and see bc my love is getting stronger

this is very long so these tags have even less pressure than usual: @haikyuupaladin @meddlelyn @juniperhillpatient @mrsmarymorstan @sinomin @siriwesen and anyone who wants to do it, tag you're it

[casspurrjoybell-25]

November - Chapter 15

*Warning Adult Content*

- Cooper -

Cooper and Oliver ended up ruining both beds.

They had intended to go back to Oliver’s bed when they woke up in the morning but things moved too quickly and Cooper didn't want to stop for them to relocate.

It was his fault for also having condoms and lube hidden in the guest bedroom as well.

Otherwise, they would have been forced to go back to Cooper’s bedroom.

"I think I'm done," Oliver says, flopping over onto his back.

"I can't anymore."

"Yeah, I think I'm done too.” Cooper laughs. “And we really have been in bed all morning. It's going to be lunchtime soon."

"I suppose we should get up so I can see something today," Oliver says.

"Since that's why I'm in Washington."

"What do you have in mind?"

"You mentioned something on the plane, something about a cape. Or cove?"

"Cape Flattery. It's the northwesternmost point of the US, not counting Alaska. You can see great sunsets there if the weather's cooperating."

"Let's do it," Oliver says.

"Even if the weather isn't cooperating, I still want to see it."

"It's an hour and a half drive each way. You up for that?"

"After wearing myself out in bed with you, a long drive sounds great. Is the hike out to Cape Flattery long?"

"Nope, less than two miles. How about this, I'll go pick up some dinner for us to have when we're there and while I'm out getting that, you can wash all the sheets so we have a clean bed to sleep in tonight."

"Deal."

Oliver leans over and kissed Cooper.

                                           ******

A couple hours later, Cooper loads a small cooler and his backpack into his truck.

He had packed a nice tablecloth his mother had given him, an electric lantern and some durable plates.

He had stopped at the deli when he went to the store and had sandwiches made, with nice bread and better ingredients than the usual sub sandwiches and picks up a few sides to go along with them.

On his way home from the store, I goes to a gift shop to get a tiny floral tabletop  arrangement.

His plan was to create a picnic dinner under the stars.

Cooper was nervous.

He didn't know if Oliver would like this or if his effort would be enough compared to what he was used to in California.

For Cooper, it was going to be a fancy picnic but to most people it might be considered simple and nothing special.

Cooper wanted to do something nice for Oliver, something to cheer him up after his break-up and let him know that he cared.

Something more than just great sex.

"Is everything ready?" Oliver asks, coming down the steps of Cooper’s front porch.

"Yep. Are you ready? Hat, gloves, scarf, coat? It can get chilly once the sun is down."

"I've got all that. Thanks for making sure I stay warm," Oliver replies, stepping close to Cooper and brushing his lips against the other man’s mouth.

"Of course."

Cooper kissed Oliver back, opening his mouth and putting his hands on his hips.

Oliver’s tongue meets Cooper’s and they are kissing for a few seconds before he pulls away.

"We need to focus on actually getting there," Oliver laughs.

"You're right," Cooper says, grinning back.

"Let's go."

During the long drive there, Oliver stays glued to the window.

It made Cooper happy how enthralled he was with the scenery.

"What else do you want to see while you're here?" Cooperasks.

"Is there anything that's walking distance from Forks? You know, that I could see on my own while you're with your family tomorrow for Thanksgiving? And I meant to ask if I need to find something to do on Friday also, in case you're doing stuff with your family for more than one day."

Cooper glances over at him.

"Why do you think, I am not seeing you on Thanksgiving? You know you're coming with me to my parents' house, right?"

"I am?"

"You're in a state you've never been before, recently abandoned by your boyfriend and you don't know anyone but me. Did you think I was going to let you spend Thanksgiving alone?"

"Yes?"

Cooper tusked and shook his head.

"Clearly you don't know me well enough yet."

"Are you sure? I don't wanna intrude. I'm a stranger to your family and we've only known each other for a little more than a week."

"I'm sure. Anyone's welcome when it comes to my family. My mom would yell at me if I didn't invite you and she found out about you and your situation later. Besides, I already called her when I was out getting the food and told her I'd be bringing you."

Oliver was looking at Cooper with a soft smile on his face, his dimple barely visible.

"Thanks, Cooper. That's really kind of you and your family, and I'm looking forward to meeting them. Especially Annabelle."

"She'll love you. And she'll want to know what you thought of her s'mores cookies."

"They were amazing, so I'll have no problem giving her plenty of praise."

Cooper smiled back, taking his eyes from the road for a second so he could look at Oliver.

‘I don't know how I got so lucky to meet this incredible guy.’

                                           ******

The layer of clouds above them had started to break up by the time they got to the parking area for the trail.

They made their way through the forest, the sound of the ocean growing louder through the trees the closer they got.

Cooper was glad to see the sky was more than halfway clear but still had enough clouds to create a dynamic sunset.

"There are a few viewpoints," Cooper tells Oliver.

"Near the coves, we'll see different kinds of birds and if we're lucky, some sea otters or sea lions. There's also an island not too far in the distance with a lighthouse on it."

"Let's check out the coves first," Oliver says.

"It might be easier to see animals before the sun starts going down."

Cooper leads him over to that viewing platform and watches his reactions.

He loved seeing Oliver’s joy and appreciation for the places he had taken him.

"The teal water is gorgeous," he said, turning around to look at me.

"I really do think the Pacific Northwest is one of the most beautiful places in the world. I'm so glad I chose to come here."

Cooper steps up behind Oliver, putting his hands on the railing and enveloping his slender body.

"If you look down to the right, there are a couple sea lions on the rock."

"There are?" Oliver asks, his voice getting louder with excitement as he leans over the railing to look.

"Oh yeah, I see them."

Cooper keeps his hands on Oliver’s hips as he scans the cove, pointing out everything he sees.

Cooper listens but he’s distracted.

He loved having his hands on him.

He wanted his hands on him all the time and he was already looking forward to tonight.

Last night and this morning had been incredible.

Oliver made him feel amazing and desired.

He'd never had issues with his body but he knew being thick and hairy didn't appeal to everyone.

He wasn't sure if he'd appeal to a cute California guy with a perfect body but Oliver seemed genuinely attracted to him.

The thought made him smile.

They moved to the other viewpoints, stopping at the one that overlooked the ocean and the island with the lighthouse.

The sun was going down, casting an orange glow onto the teal water and lighting up the cliffs.

The clouds remaining in the sky turned pink as the sunset progressed.

Cooper was holding Oliver in his arms as they watched, hugging him so his back was pressed against his chest.

Cooper couldn't resist nuzzling the side of Oliver’s face and kiss his cheek.

Oliver turned his head and captured Cooper’s lips, kissing him long and slow before he turns in his arms.

Oliver puts his arms around Cooper’s neck, which the older man was finding he liked more and more each time he did it.

They watched the sun set and traded kisses but eventually Cooper had to pull away because things were getting too heated.

"I'm going to find a picnic table and get our food out. You stay here and take some more pictures."

"Okay," Oliver said, smiling softly at him.

Cooper doubted they'd see anyone else this late but he found one of the more secluded picnic tables anyway.

After brushing off a few stray leaves, he laid the tablecloth down and added the electric lantern and tabletop arrangement.

It was made of tiny white flowers and some type of small green leaves, so it fit in well with the surroundings.

He put the sandwiches on plates and set out the side dishes.

Then he stepped back and took it all in.

It looked good to him but he hoped Oliver would think so too.

The light was beginning to fade when Cooper went back to Oliver and he knew that because they were far away from any light pollution, the stars would be out soon.

"Did you get some good pictures?"

"I think so."

"You'll have to show me after we eat. Dinner is ready."

Cooper took Oliver's hand and led him around the trees to the picnic table and he stopped as soon as he saw it.

His mouth dropped open slightly and then a smile slowly emerged on his face.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting something so nice and romantic in the woods."

"Romance in the woods is my specialty," Cooper joked.

Oliver turned and grinned at him.

"I'd say so," he says, pulling Cooper in for a kiss.

"I love it. I've never had a picnic like this before."

‘Oliver was a dream come true with the way he appreciated everything I did. My ex-boyfriends had rarely been impressed with me or with my efforts to do anything special for them.’

As they ate their dinner under the night sky, Cooper wished Oliver didn't have to go back home to California.

He wanted more time with him, even though he knew it was futile.

Rather than think about the few days they had left, Cooper tried to stay in the moment.

Cooper smiled across the table at Oliver who responded by reaching over and taking his hand, stroking his large knuckles with his tiny thumb.

"You're really great, Cooper. I'm having the best time out here and I'm happy I met you."

"I'm happy you're here, too," Cooper replied.

"And I’m happy you gave me a chance. I didn't think a pretty boy like you would go for me."

"Why not? You're funny, handsome, strong, kind and great in bed. What's not to love?"

Cooper knew he was blushing.

It was flattering to hear but more than that, Oliver really seemed to see him.

Oliver saw exactly who Cooper was and the life that he lived and against all the odds, he liked it.

‘It was only going to make it that much harder when he left.’

[chronurgy]

Gortash the bridezillla...."Durge, dearest, the florist is not respecting my vision. Please see that they meet with an unfortunate accident I think their apprentice will be far more accommodating"

And honestly I actually think most of the companions would take the fiancé thing worse! For one, your LI is going to be sitting there like "bro am I the side piece?" I think most of them would not exactly be thrilled to find out that you're in a long term clearly intense relationship with, well, Gortash. I think even the poly companions would say no thank you to that shit show lol. Plus it's one thing to be in on the evil plan but people could pretty easily rationalize and downplay that to themselves, but being engaged to him indicates that you weren't just some flunky or his instrument or being used by him, you're fully into it. You played a massive role and intended to keep playing one (and if he was using you then you were using him just as much). So I almost think they'd take the engaged thing worse because now they can't hid behind those justifications. Also, I think they'd be way more suspicious about durge going back over to gortash. A lot of the companions treat agreeing to ally with him as clearly a temporary thing where you'll use him for now, but I don't think they would think that if you were engaged to him, especially if he showed durge any sort of genuine affection in public (okay omg pda at his coronation, like kissing their hand or something with a conflicted durge who knows this looks so bad but doesn't want him to stop). I think then they would see any alliance between them as more likely to be permanent (because why shouldn't it be, you two were going to be married and clearly held some amount of trust and respect for one another) in a way that would have fun repercussions.

"Um, actually, we must have a three week honeymoon pleasure cruise. It's absolutely integral to the plan, duh" says Gortash. "But we need to engage in lots of public pda otherwise the plan won't work at all," says Durge, applying another layer of chapstick. I love the idea of them just justifying progressively crazier stuff in the name of the plan. I also kinda love the idea that they're both deluding themselves about the nature of their relationship by saying it's for the plan. Like Durge is fully convinced that they're excited about this having their relationship in the open and getting married thing because it's a sign that the plan is advancing and they're getting access to more murder resources and not at all because of any feelings on their part nope not a bit. And gortash is basically doing the same thing, like ohhhh I'm so happy because this wedding will help cement my reign and not at all because I'm imagining seeing durge in the outfit I carefully designed for them and having them at my side always, nah, just the plan thing.

Sceleritas fel is constantly begging durge not to go through with it and even though he usually isn't visible to other people he makes himself visible to gortash just so he can give him the stinkeye. He also keeps trying to put blood and skeletons in their future shared quarters to improve "the silly little banite lordling's deficient interior decorating".

#au where the plan succeeds up until the ~defeat of the absolute~ and they actually do get married#(before durge meets the party and inevitably there is Redemption And Happy Endings For All because. please)

I now desperately want to see an au where everything goes according to plan and they get married and then the tadpole gang shows up. Maybe they spend all this time in the lower city hearing about it and need to sneak into the wedding in the upper city to meet the people they're up against? Oh that would be too much fun. It would be very fun to get to see both Durge and Gortash's public personas from the gang's perspective and maybe even a glance behind the curtain at their more tyrannical tendencies when we realize that their honeymoon is also cover for them to make contact with and start planning takeovers in other parts of the sword coast. Ooooo this would be so much fun (though I admit to being partial to the idea of durge and gortash enabling the worst parts of the gang from their position of power and dragging them to the darkside with them because I'm terrible and love angst and bad endings)

Consider: Gortash having a portrait of Durge somewhere where the party ends up seeing it, because he managed to coax, bribe or coerce them into sitting for it at some point and there's no point going to all that trouble and expense for a portrait if no one is ever going to see it and also he likes looking at it so sue him. It fulfills both my desire for the party to get a glimpse of pre-amnesia Durge that isn't just Evil Murdery Bhaalspawn and my desire for Gortash dragging Durge kicking and screaming into at least some parts of Respectable Noble Society!

[meowzfordayz]

hashira dream about you dying

Author’s Note: intended for these to be ~short, but as per usual got carried away w/ each consecutive Hashira… 😆 P.S. Nothing against Muichiro or Tengen! Just ran out of energy/inspo. 😶

hashira dream about you dying

Hashira x Reader, Tokito Muichiro x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~1,600

CW: death content, explicit language

Emergency Request Fulfilled: Okay so this might be a strange coping mechanism but I found out really awful news about my health lately and I need some serious surgery. I saw your post about hashira dreaming and I was wondering if you could do an emergency preference of how all the hashira reacting to having a dream where you die? Like how would they react and be towards you after waking up.

~faqs~

Wakes up feeling surprisingly calm

Feels your body tucked warmly into his

Presses his palm flat against your cheek, slowly syncing his breaths w/ yours

“I love you,” he whispers, smile tugging at his mouth as your leg manages to entangle itself further between his, toes warmer than the sunrise

Gyomei’s heart stutters, apology for disturbing you on the tip of his tongue as your hand covers his, soft chuckle slipping out instead when you cuddle his fingers to your chest, still deeply asleep

He knows death is inevitable, just as he knows he’d rather cherish his moments w/ you than fixate on missing them before they’ve even ended

Not to be repetitive, but… 

Once again (first time being in hashira dream about you cheating on them), this poor man 100% wakes up in a cold sweat 😔

He almost throttles Kaburamura when he sees him (Kaburamura) snoozing on your pillow 😬

On. Your. Pillow.

Where. Your. Head. Should. Be.

Where. Your. Head. Is. Not.

He knows in his heart of hearts that Kaburamura’s innocent

But if he’s innocent, then why is he on your pillow ??

And where are you ?????

Obanai’s up and out of bed in an instant

Sprinting through the house, hollering your name, barging into the bathroom, practically throwing himself down the basement stairs w/o even turning the light on

It takes ransacking the house to realize

…

…

Did they text me?!

Post ransacking clarity hits

They definitely texted me

9:14AM [y/n]: hii sleepyhead 😴

9:14AM [y/n]: wait wait wait I take that back

9:15AM [y/n]: hello handsome 😎

9:15AM [y/n]: I’m craving pancakes but we’re out of milk so I’m going to the corner store

9:17AM [y/n]: be back soon

Obanai glances at the top of his phone screen: 9:26 AM

Obanai winces

Obanai is glad you’re alive

Obanai is embarrassed

Obanai is now frantically un-ransacking the house

Doesn’t consciously dwell on it

Dreams are just that — dreams

But she def subconsciously behaves differently

Not that Mitsuri doesn’t already spoil you 👑

Buuut insisting you stay in bed for 5 mins so she can put your robe in the dryer It’ll be warm and fluffy!; helping you into it; and then scooping you into her arms, kisses sprinkled across your face to hush your confused protests ??

“Did you forget something? Did I forget something?” you ask alarmed, consulting your mental calendar to make sure your anniversary is still months away

“Nope!” she declares, bright smile both reassuring and further concerning you

…

“You just randomly decided to pamper me this morning?”

“Yup!”

“Is there bad news?”

“No.”

“Did you break something?”

She huffs at that, eyes rolling fondly, “I did not!”

“Are you okay?”

Mitsuri hesitates at your question, nose wrinkling as she touches her lips to your forehead

“Mitsuri?” you’re soft now — searching

“I’m okay.”

…

…

“You died.”

?????

“I dreamed that you died!” she quickly clarifies, sheepish giggle bubbling in her throat, “Obviously you’re not, like, actually dead.”

“Oh. Well. Yeah. I’m not like actually dead.”

And despite your slightly awkward deadpan of a response 😃, Mitsuri immediately understands your underlying message

I’m here

I’m okay

I love you

Is noticeably shaken for the rest of the morning

Knows it wasn’t real

Knows you’re sitting in front of her

Eating

Talking

Talking

Waving your hand in front of her fa-

Oops

“Shinobu,” you grumble, “What did I just say?”

Smiling lightly, she shrugs apologetically, “I wasn’t listening.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not.”

“Well typically I pride myself in being someone you don’t purposefully tune out.”

“I was distracted.”

You nod slowly, catching the faintest tremor in her voice, “Distracted by…?”

“A dream.”

“From last night?”

“You left me.”

Snorting fondly Silly you reach for her hand, squeezing gently, “Shinobu. I would never leave you. I love you! You’re stuck with m-”

“You died.”

Your eyes widen, grip tightening, Shinobu’s expression blank

“Oh.”

“I know you can’t promise to not die.”

Swallowing thickly, you meet her stare, shinier—fragile—than usual

“I can promise to love you while I’m alive.”

“I know that.”

And it isn’t quite enough

How could it be?

But feeling the heat of your skin, the devotion of your gaze, the steadiness of your commitment

Shinobu knows it’s all she could ever ask for 💜

Is usually a super considerate, thoughtful, bend-over-backwards partner

Aka would be loath to rouse you mid slumber 

But when Kyojuro dreams that you died?

He 11/10 immediately nudges you, index and middle fingers pressing gently into your neck at your pulse point

“Kyo?” you mumble, throat thick with sleep as you blink slowly, “Whatimeisit?”

“Just past 2am.”

It isn’t the forsaken hr that alarms you, but the lack of declaration in his voice

Your Kyo would be all Just past 2am !!!!! 😁 like he’s about to amble downstairs to make you a charcuterie board

—On that note, somebody pls and ty tell my partner that they need to wake me up at 2am w/ a charcuterie board ASAP 🤤😍😂

But this Kyo?

This Kyo is breathing heavily enough that you can actually hear him, yanno, breathing

This Kyo is fumbling under the comforter, grip warm and shaky when he finds your wrist — checking your pulse again

This Kyo eventually caves and wiggles himself until his bedhead’s tickling your chin, ear firm and desperate against your chest — listening to your heartbeat

“Did I cough in my sleep or something?”

#you are confused

#and concerned

“You died.”

“I… didn’t?”

In your defense, you’re still ¾ foggy

“I dreamed that you died.”

“But ?? I didn’t.”

Kyojuro’s too anxious to even consider feeling impatient w/ you rn

“You did not literally die, but you did die in my dream, and I am terrified.”

That sobers you

“Kyo…”

“I know you are alive! I know you are healthy! And fine! And alive! I just-”

“Just nothing,” you shush him, fingers carding through his hair, his eyes squeezed shut, fixated on the rhythm of your heart, “You’ve nothing to feel sorry for or ashamed of. That sounds horrible.”

“You were gone.”

Stiff

Cold

“How about we make tea?”

Not to dismiss or ignore his pain, but to ease him from it

Peering upward, Kyojuro smiles dimly, gratitude blossoming in his lungs

“Only tea?” “... you’re hungry.”

“First dinner was eight hours ago! We might as well eat second dinner!”

Not to fall into cliches

Which means I’m absolutely falling into a cliche hehehe

Buuut

Sanemi totally wakes up angry at you 💀

Logically, he knows he’s being a Stupid Dumb Idiot™

Emotionally, however

They fucking died

Translation?

He’s utterly wrecked 😞

At least, for a moment, until he physically shakes the sleep from his brain and regains his senses

“Wha’d I do?” you mumble, endeared, sleepy smile contrasting w/ his stormy, narrowed glare

“Nothing.”

Rolling your eyes, you reach up to pat his cheek, purposefully cheesy remark on the roof of your mouth when he intercepts your hand

*insert gulp here*

“Nemi?”

You audibly exhale as he brings your hand to his lips, tender kiss grazing your skin

“I’m angry at you for something that isn’t your fault.”

Oookay ?? 🤨

Sighing, he nibbles at your fingertip, gaze averted, voice quieter, “In a dream. Don’t worry about it.”

“One. If you’re hungry, then we can get up and make breakfast. Two. Should I ask? Or should I really not worry about it? Or both?”

Chomping gently on your finger, Sanemi smirks at your yelp, whine of betrayal followed by a pout

“Use! Your! WORDS!” you grumble, wrangling your hand free to flick his nose, “And stop deflecting!”

This is more fun the gleam in his stare says, the soft tug of your body closer to his reassuring you that I’ll tell you, I promise — just give me this moment

Is deathly quiet #pun intended

He’s already not one for chitchat first thing in the AM

But at least he generally murmurs Hi or Good morning or something that isn’t just staring at you like you’re:

going to explode

going to disappear (similar to 1, but less violent)

“How long have you been awake?” 🥱

No reply

“Good morning.” ☀️

No reply

“Giyuu?”

He blinks

What the fuck? “Giyuu!” 😐

“Five minutes. Good morning. I love you.”

“Are you sure you’re awake? That was an impressively delayed response.”

“I’m awake.”

Thing is, you know Giyuu

—what w/ being his partner and all that

Which is both helpful and frustrating

“Great. Thanks for clarifying. Now, am I going to have to pry this out of you, or will you tell me?”

You don’t meant to be harsh or insensitive

But this man def needs a nudge to express himself from time to time

“I had a bad dream.”

“About me.”

“About you.”

“Will you be okay?” you ask carefully

“Are you okay?”

“I’m alright. Happy to be here. Happy I get to love you too.”

He nods—mostly to himself—eyes finally regaining their focus, shadow of a smile gracing his face

“I’ll be okay.”

You don’t push further, an inkling of understanding in your heart regarding his dream

Giyuu may be guarded, but if he has walls, then you’re part of what they’re intended to protect

In other words: you know what he’s afraid of, of what can hurt him, and you also trust him

Trust him to tell you what you need to know, and to create a door for you when he’s ready 💙

Albeit, ofc, sometimes you end up creating your own door bc trust doesn’t always result in emotional aptitude 🙃

Tis a fine line between respecting your partner’s boundaries and ~crossing them bc “keep everything in until I combust” isn’t exactly healthy/productive either 😅

[animeomegas]

Kinktober - Day 15

[Sasuke (Naruto) + Size Difference]

Summary: Sasuke wasn’t small! He was average, thank you very much. It wasn’t his fault that his alpha was freakishly big! Alpha!Dom!GN!Reader

Warnings: Reader is gender neutral but I have described them as tall- ish with a broader figure. They are also described as strong, but that could very well be chakra enhanced, for those of use that are extremely weak 😅 I wish I was strong enough to lift Sasuke lmao, it took me four minutes to open a jar of tomato sauce this evening 🙃

When Sasuke and his alpha first got together, some people used to giggle and poke fun at how different they looked standing next to each other. And begrudgingly, Sasuke had to acknowledge they had a point.

Sasuke was powerful of course, he was stronger than almost every person in the village, but his physique was smaller, lither, and easily hidden beneath his chosen baggy clothes. His pale complexion simply added to the effect because his exclusively black wardrobe seemed to swallow him.

But his alpha was different. Taller than him, broader than him. They also had a certain presence that Sasuke did not, mainly because Sasuke refused to speak or interact with strangers.

They were a burning sun and Sasuke felt like a little black hole when he stood next to them.

And when their clothes were off, the differences continue.

…

“You’re so cute down here, I love it,” you cooed, pressing a kiss to the top of his half hard cock. Sasuke could tell his face was red and he tried to will the blush away.

“I’m not cute,” he grumbled, half-heartedly pushing you away. He was… average, thank you very much.

“Hmm,” you gave a little smile as you pretended to think on it. “Nope, definitely cute.”

You nuzzled affectionately at his crotch and Sasuke felt his cock give a very noticeable interested twitch. Traitor.

To further Sasuke’s embarrassment, you laughed at the twitch and then proceeded to take him into your mouth, engulfing him immediately. Sasuke barely supressed a yelp at the sudden onslaught of warm pleasure.

You sucked aggressively for about thirty seconds, maintaining eye contact throughout (eye contact that Sasuke did not meet because, jeez you were going to kill him doing this) before pulling off with an obscene pop.

And then you paused as though lost in though. Was Sasuke not engaging enough to keep your attention? He huffed indignantly and opened his mouth to say something, but you were faster.

“There are better positions for this.”

And with that, you leant down and grabbed Sasuke up off the bed.

This time, Sasuke actually did yelp as he quickly closed his bare legs around your equally bare body for some stability.

“What are you playing at, idiot?”

You sat back down on the bed, now with Sasuke on your lap, completely ignoring his question. The audacity.

“Answer my quest-“

You slotted your hands under him and suddenly lifted him into the air, hooking his legs over your shoulders, his entire weight quite literally resting in your palms.

“You can’t just throw me around like-!”

You took advantage of your new position and slipped Sasuke’s hard cock back into your mouth, forcing Sasuke to end his sentence as a rush of air left him at the welcome sensation.

Your mouth was warm and your tongue skilful. All the complaints flew from Sasuke’s mind in an instant and he wrapped his legs around your head and gripped your arms to balance himself. You were holding him up so effortlessly. Why did that make his stomach flip so much?

All at once, Sasuke found himself plummeting towards what would be a humiliatingly fast orgasm. He felt like he was burning up from the inside, and oh fuck, he was definitely dripping slick onto your lap.

If he listened closely, he could hear the gentle splashes his slick was making as his fell in droplets onto your bare thighs.

“Stop! I’m close!” Sasuke finally found the strength to speak and his words tumbled from his mouth louder than he had intended.

You immediately let his cock fall out of your mouth, the sudden rush of cold air making Sasuke shiver.

Slowly but effortlessly, you manoeuvred Sasuke onto your lap so that he was facing you with a single leg on either side of you, close enough that your cocks were bumping up against each other.

And immediately Sasuke remember how this whole things started.  

You giggled as Sasuke’s cock was almost completely obscured by yours and Sasuke pursed his lips at how small he looked against you.

“Stop laughing, idiot, you’re the one whose freakishly abnormal,” Sasuke huffed. He tried to shift his hips back, but you tightened your grip and simply dragged him back in. Sasuke quickly realised that he had left a trail of slick on your lap and it killed any retort that might have been brewing in his mind, so instead he levelled an embarrassed glare at you.

You weren’t fazed for even a second. In fact, you leant in the way you always did when he was frowning and kissed him.

And as much as he tried to stop it, a shadow of a smile crept onto his face. He hit you lightly on the shoulder to stop you from noticing his smile. He had to maintain some semblance of dignity… even if it felt like a losing battle at this point.

“We need to leave for our dinner reservations in an hour, Sasuke, so stop sulking and let me show you how much I appreciate how cute you are,” you said with a teasing grin.

“…”

“…”

“Hn. Fine.”

You smiled at him and lifted his chin with your hand to guide him to look you in the eye, even though you knew what that would do to him. Tch, you lived to embarrass him, he shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

“I love you, you know.”

Case in point.

Sasuke tried very hard not to startle at your words. He suddenly felt a need to flee. He- He- He couldn’t say it, not right now. But he didn’t want you to… think he didn’t care.

So, with a blush that could rival the sun he had humiliatingly found himself comparing you to more than one, he pressed a very light kiss to the hand that was still cupping his face.

The look you gave him in return made him feel like he was going to melt. Where did you learn to make him feel like this? How did you know always know what was going on inside his head?

“Here,” you interrupted the silence, taking one of his hands and laying it on your cock before resting on of yours on his. “Let’s help each other so we can make the dinner on time, because personally I don’t feel like Naruto barging in to drag us there will be very fun.”

Sasuke snorted. He could relax now, glad that the atmosphere was less intense. With an eager smirk, he grabbed your cock and rubbed his thumb over the end as you hissed in pleasure. You cock filled Sasuke’s hand completely, hot and pulsing.

But you only needed two fingers to jerk him off.

Sasuke felt like he should be mad or self-conscious but fuck the thought that you could literally cover his entire cock with a couple of fingers made him feel like his skin was on fire. He was so small compared to you, so tiny, so easy to grab and toss around… Sasuke shivered from head to toe.

You both continued mutual handjobs in silence for a while, basking in the feelings and delicious scents. You looked blissed, giving these little groans every so often that made Sasuke twitch rather violently in your hand. Sasuke was mainly trying to focus on not cumming too quickly after you had edged him earlier.

He was hyper aware of how much slick he was leaking onto your lap now. And apparently, so were you.

“You’re so wet,” you whispered heatedly. “Do you like it when I touch your cute little cock like this?”

Sasuke felt himself clench around nothing.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, despite the fact that he was obviously bucking up into your hands and releasing a scent strong enough to tempt even the most stoic alphas.

“Of fuck, Sasuke, your hand feels so good, I’m not going to last longer with you dripping slick all over me and pumping out your scent like you’re in heat.”

Sasuke must have been closer than he thought because those words knocked him over the edge as solidly as a punch to the stomach.

He buried his face in your shoulder and tried to smother his strangled moan as he came all over your hand, losing the grip he had on your cock in the process. Distantly, he felt you sneak a hand around his back to catch some of his dripping slick. Pervert.

Sasuke panted as he came down from his high, feeling a little weak at the knees and glad that he was sitting down. It was only when he felt something poking his stomach that he realised he had left you hanging while he enjoyed his own orgasm. Shit.

He pulled away and went to grab you again, but you caught his hand.

“Don’t worry about me,” you smiled, swooping in to kiss him on the nose. “We won’t have enough time to shower and get going if we continue and I don’t want to be late.”

Sasuke glanced over at the clock on his bedside table and scoffed. They still had half an hour. It was almost insulting that you thought he couldn’t get you off fast enough.

“Don’t insult me,” Sasuke said, pushing himself off of your lap and into a kneeling position on the floor. He grabbed you by the knees and yanked them open so he could slot himself in the middle. Then he looked up at you with a smirk. “Give me two minutes, that’s all I need.”

[robintherobiner]

@manic-papaya HYPOCRITE.

YES THATS WHAT I INTENDED TO IMPLY!!!

Janet: Jack, dear, I want to try something new in the bedroom. I read about threesomes, and i was wondering if you'd like to try one? You're welcome to say no but-

Jack: Lets ask Brucie!

Janet: I... that was very quick. Do you have something you need to tell me?

Jack, oblivious himbo: Nope, what do ya mean?

Also i like to imagine that when Janet got pregnant, neither of the men even considered the possibility of it being Bruce's, but she did. And so she asked Bruce if he wanted kids and he said no, he wasn't ready, he'd be a terrible father, it's not in the cards for him. For Jack, who i headcanon to be a family man, this was heartbreaking. So, they end their threesome, and Tim is born. Luckily for her, people always assume a blonde womens hair is dyed, so no one questions the fact that Tim has black hair.

Obviously they're mega pissed when Bruce takes in Dick only three years after saying he didn't want kids. They stop going to the same galas as him for a couple months, but then Tim whines about wanting to see Flippy Dickie so they attend the next one and-

Bruce, running into Tim: Oh! Hey there kiddo! Where are your parents, hm? Are you lost?

Tim, who's dad is a himbo: *instantly calms*

Also Tim, having broken into his parents room and found Jack's scrapbook of all of his dates with Janet: Hey... I saw a picture of you kissing Mommy!

The socialites: *shocked gasps*

Tim: Oh, and Daddy has magazines of you under his pillow!

The socialites: *shocked gasps X2*

Anyways-

i like to imagine the batfam only find this out later on. Why? i think its way funnier if like, they discover it when Bruce has just come back from the timestream.

Tim: Why do you think my dads last words were literally telling Bruce he trusted him to take care of me? Its gross to think about them fucking, i know, but don't act surprised.

The rest of the batfamily, who is very much surprised: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Bruce, extremely injured or whatever from being in the timestream: Tim, sweetie, you knew i dated your parents?!

Tim: Uh, duh? Dad talked about you all the time. Too much, actually. I'm still traumatised from when he told me Mom pegged you both.

Jack threatening Bruce with a gun in his own cave was literally just exes being petty, we all know the truth

i know the fandom likes to make Jack out to be a terrible dad but i personally enjoy to imagine him as a man who's just not that smart, but tries his best.

Tim, like six years old, angry that he wasn't allowed desert before dinner: I hate you! I wish lived on my own and never saw you or Mommy again!

Jack, tearing up and booking flight tickets: Okay kiddo, love you.

Janet, giving birth: AAAAARGH. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, YOU COWARDLY BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS A BABY SO BAD, YOU SHOULD BE GIVING BIRTH!

Jack, tearing up and booking gender reassignment surgery: Okay darling, love you.

Nurse, glancing at his phone: You.. you know that surgery wont make you able to carry a child right?

Jack: Yes it will, it gives me a vagina!

Nurse: ...you know you need a uterus to actually carry the baby right?

Jack: What the fuck is a uterus? WAIT I CAN SEE THE BABYS HEAD OH MY GOSH JANET DEAR YOU'RE DOING SO WELL!

Tim, age 15: Dad, i'm glad you're trying to be better now but... Why did you and mom neglect me for so long?

Jack: You told us too! I wanted to raise you, i was a stay at home dad, but you said i was horrible and that you wanted to live on your own!

Tim: ...

Jack: Obviously that was irresponsible so we sent you to boarding school, but we only visited a few times a year to respect your boundaries. I would send you back, but I was in a coma so i'm allowed to be a little selfish and spend time with my baby.

Dick: Didn't your dad just wake up from a coma? And he's already got a girlfriend? No offense but-

Tim: My mom told him to.

Dick: Timmy, sometimes men lie-

Tim: No, literally, it was in her will. She literally told him that if she died first, he had to get a new partner, because she knew he'd die alone without her.

Dick: What...

Tim: Also, i was the one who chose Dana. She's great! Mom said I had to pick a blonde because yellow is his favourite colour.

Tim: Dad, why is the only picture of Mom you have framed one of her in a bikini? Do you not have any others?

Jack: I do, i have hundreds! But this was taken on the day she proposed to me! Well, i have more from that day, but they're not safe for little eyes.

Tim: Thats both the most romantic and disgusting thing i've ever heard.

Jack, puling out a picture of Janet sobbing and very obviously screaming: I have this picture of her on my bedside table though, its from when she found out she was pregnant with you! Two of the best days of my life!

[ilyrafe]

𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ; 𝒂. 𝒘.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

he has a very unusual way of showing affection: gifts. actually, it’s his way of apologizing, because he can’t really say “i’m sorry”.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

he would be the friend you’d have a little crush on, he would know and he wouldn’t do anything about it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

not very often, but when he does, he’s always the big spoon, but it doesn’t last too long.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he can cook and clean, but would rather have someone do it for him (not you).

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he would hate the confrontation and would avoid the why’s and all the questions. he would just leave and you’d know.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

nope. absolutely not.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

normally, he isn’t. but, if he really likes you, he’ll die down on the roughness, try to be more mindful, but not too much. he can be hard to read and too direct with his words (even if he doesn’t intend to).

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

it’s rare. he doesn’t like to show physical affection.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

he will never say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

if he sees another man just looking at you, he’ll end him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

his kisses almost always lead to sex, and he’s a great kisser. he doesn’t like to kiss just to kiss, he always wants more.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

he hates children, finds them annoying and unnecessary. obviously does not want to have them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

mornings are quiet, almost entirely silent. one of you makes breakfast,

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

nights are almost always sexual, unless he’s away.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

it’s difficult to learn about him. very rarely he’ll open up and say something new about himself, but you let him take his time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

august has no time for bullshit. almost everything annoys him and if he’s too angry at someone they’ll most likely suffer the consequences.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

oh, he pays attention. he knows every little thing about you and more.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

he won’t ever admit it, but he loves when he comes back and you greet him with the warmest hug. it’s nice to feel wanted by someone.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

august is overwhelmingly protective of you. he might not be the best partner, but he would go through heaven and hell if something bad happened to you. he taught you self defense, how to shoot and gave you a gun.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

if he wanted to, he could be more welcoming, but he doesn’t want you to get the “wrong idea”.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

being a criminal would be one…

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he likes to look presentable. his beard is always groomed, his hair is always combed back. he goes to the gym every day, eats right.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes, but he won’t say it.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

august struggles immensely with his emotions and feelings. his father, who had a big influence on him, made him not want to be in touch with his emotions at all and now he can’t fully connect with others on a deeper level.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

someone that’s too clingy, demands too much of him, liars.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he cannot sleep more than four hours.

[rosella-writes]

Now this is Zev/Alistair if I ever heard it: ❛ you don’t have to be so gentle . ❜ for dadwc!

So there's emotions in your smut, blue, idk how it got there but it's there HERE YOU GO

for @dadrunkwriting

Rating: E for smutty smut Words: 900

~~~

Zevran made it seem easy. 

Alistair still felt clumsy, curious, no-good — he was certain no part of this could be enjoyable, and that any moment the much more experienced man beneath him would twist around, slap him, and say, “Nope! Enough! Off!”

But that moment never came. 

No, Zevran had clutched a hand into his own hair, set his teeth in his lower lip, and screwed his eyes shut. The glint of his elven irises peeked from beneath his lashes in the low light of their tent. Alistair could feel him throb against his belly, where his weight had pinned Zevran’s cock between them. 

“Tesoro,” Zevran groaned, twisting and grinding up against him, “caro, touch me, keep touching me, you are doing so well —”

The assassin’s breath dragged in, harsh and sharp, when Alistair lurched forward with his full weight and sucked at his throat — his elbow almost slipped on their shared bedroll, but he was nearly flush with Zevran’s much smaller body already. 

“Yes, just like —” Zevran cut off into a huffed laugh when Alistair softened his suction into a grazing kiss. “My dear Warden…”

There it was. “Wrong?”

“No,” Zevran chuckled. “No, you simply… treasure me so. I swear I will not break.”

Alistair hefted himself up higher, bracing his palms on either side of Zevran’s head. Those golden eyes opened and fixed him with their amused gaze. 

“But I do,” Alistair grumbled. “Shouldn’t I? If I didn’t I wouldn’t want to do this, you know.”

Zevran’s eyes flicked away, and the smile seemed more plastered on than before. “Yes, well. It’s quite alright to disregard what I might like, you know. Go on, take your pleasure! I’ll enjoy it.”

“Zevran…”

The gaze was back, burning and bright. The smile beneath it flashed too easily. “You don’t have to be so gentle, dear Warden.”

Before Alistair could respond, Zevran had lifted himself up on his elbows — his shoulders bowed inwards,  turning his collarbones into graceful, hollowed wings, and his chin lifted in a challenge. His dark tattoo twisted as he smiled. 

“Tell me what to do,” the assassin breathed. “Push me down, pull my hair. You could even choke me if you like! I would love to feel those rough warrior hands wring the life —”

He all but squawked into Alistair’s mouth when he kissed him. 

Alistair’s heart was pounding in his ears. He couldn’t hurt Zevran — would never hurt Zevran — and the way he asked him to, no, begged him to, didn’t sound like something he actually wanted. It sounded like a man who could no longer look him in the eye. It sounded like a man who couldn’t bear being touched gently if it was because of actual care, rather than uncertainty. 

So he took care to kiss him deeply, as if he wanted to fully taste and savour him. It felt as if the elf melted into him in response — there was a nearly inaudible moan, and then slender fingers worked their way into Alistair’s short hair and tugged. 

“Want you, tesoro,” Zevran gasped, breaking the kiss with a wet sound. “Anything you want, take what you want —”

“No,” Alistair grunted. “That’s rude! And I’m a gentleman.”

His tone was far more serious than he’d intended — the little stammer at the end ruined the impression of a joke. So he slid his hand — his trembling, clumsy, calloused hand — between Zevran’s legs and found him ready. 

“Please,” Zevran whined, pressing down against his fingers. “Why did you think I came to bed ahead of you? To comb my tresses, dear Warden? To pinch rouge into my cheeks? To paint — ah —”

Alistair watched, lips parted, as Zevran’s head tipped back in response to his intruding fingers. He felt clumsy, as always, but watching as Zevran’s brows pinched upwards and his mouth fell open made him feel… almost good at this. He slid them deeper and curled them inside. 

Zevran’s hips twitched — his cock left a little smear of wet on Alistair’s belly, and when he crooked his fingers again and drew out a whimper he couldn’t bear it for one more second. He’d spend all over Zevran’s thigh if he did. 

“Yes, yes,” Zevran panted, breathing out a mindless litany as Alistair shifted his too-large, too-broad, too-clumsy body and pressed properly inside him. The assassin lurched up and stole Alistair’s mortifying moan with an open-mouthed kiss. 

But Alistair took care, despite his body already threatening to let him down, to keep his grasp on Zevran soft and gentle, to rock his hips between his spread legs deep and slow, and to reach up and cup Zevran’s face between his broad hands. He kissed him, at a loss for words, and pulled back. “Alright?”

Zevran’s only response was a soft whimper. His eyes were wide in the darkness, his lips parted and reddened from Alistair’s kiss, and he nodded, just barely. His hair spread in soft, gold tangles across the floor. 

“This is what I want,” Alistair told him. “Just like this. With you, alright?”

Zevran’s throat bobbed as he swallowed — he reached up with a trembling hand and cuffed Alistair about the neck to draw him closer. Alistair felt his heels hook behind his calves, his thighs tighten around his hips, and realised that this was possibly the closest he and Zevran had ever been. 

“Alright, amore,” Zevran murmured, kissing him once with fierce, shaking lips. “Alright.”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Form leader rook and dorm leader Jade fighting each other for raven, as Crowley’s unwilling assistant she thinks they’re just kissing up for more budgeting for their respective dorms, but really they just want to kiss her, and maybe spoil her, put her in their dorm uniform, have tea with her, just classic jealous boy antics (raven doesn’t get paid enough for this)

OTL SHE GETS PAID NOTHING FOR ANY OF THIS, SHE JUST HELPS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS CROWLEY WON'T DO IT IF SHE DOESN'T

Crowley hears that Jade and Rook ousted Azul and Vil as dorm leaders and decides to nope on out on a sudden vacation to leave his niece to deal with the fallout 😷 Or he just starts dragging her to every dorm leader meeting to help mediate/take notes... How yasashii magnanimous of him--

Jade just awkudadoasdoabgfuoayifa manipulating the conversation to steer it in the direction he wants it to go, all while dealing low blows to the others with a smile... Meanwhile, Rook is the other extreme, derailing Jade's efforts with flowery counterarguments or just enjoying that he's there at all, able to converse with his fellow dorm leaders. They obviously have the interests of their own dorms in mind, but it's also about making a statement and asserting their newfound positions and power, showing that they won't back down from a debate in their own ways. (... Romantic subplot may or may not also contribute to it--)

Riddle's the only one that sympathizes with Raven and tries to support her in keeping the meeting on track and on topic, but he'll often find himself riled by Jade or confused by Rook's wordiness. L*ona is... HE'S L*ONA-ING AND MAKING THINGS WORSE BY BEING PETTY AT THE SEAFOOD AND THE HUNTSMAN................ Kalim's totally oblivious to the hostile vibes at the table and just thinks it's great that Jade and Rook are already fast acclimating to their new roles! Idia (or rather, his tablet) is making retching noises and muttering about how it suddenly feels like "one of those corny high school romcom anime with a super predictable love triangle and a tsundere main girl with twintails". Malleus is missing--

Miss Raven would be shuffling her papers and packing up to leave the meeting, but Jade and Rook try to strike conversation on her way out, maybe commenting on how she composed herself (or didn't) during the meeting or how prepared (or not prepared) she is to one take up the mantle of headmistress herself--but she's not having it. "If you have something you need to discuss, please direct it at the headmaster, not myself."

OTL Every time Crowley sends her to the dorms to do his dirty work, she inevitably ends up getting involved in something.

Rook talks about wanting to modify the Pomefiore uniforms--oh, would Miss Raven mind modeling the current one and the prototypes for him? (BRUH IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE FOR A FASHION SHOW..................) He'll help dress her, as the sash and the cords can be difficult to tie (and you can bet he takes his sweet ass time with it), then gush about how well she wears it.

With the full powers of dorm leader, no one can dispute Jade from slapping mushrooms on the Mostro Lounge menu at all times, even in the drinks and in the desserts--here, he'll provide the full tasting menu for Miss Raven to prove how delicious it really is. He'll even be so generous as to hand feed it to her.

"This doesn't mean that either of your dorms are getting any additional funding!!" she'll scold them. "Submit a proper request detailing what you intend to use the money for to the headmaster's office--and if Uncle is feeling kind, he may grant the request."

(ADBIHLYOVYAFAIYADSL THE COMMENTS FROM OTHER DORM LEADERS............

Riddle: "I don't envy being in Raven-san's position... Constantly dealing with such troublemakers is sure to put a strain on her. I already have my hands full with Heartslabyul's hooligans, so I understand her exasperation."

Leona: "... Tch. I'd like to see how well she can deal under some actual pressure, not flitting around playing house and being doted on. If it's a fight the Canary's looking for, then I'll rise to the challenge."

Kalim: "Gahahah! They're showing her some great hospitality! Jade and Rook make for great hosts. Maybe the next time Raven comes over to Scarabia, she can try out some stuff from the Scalding Sands! It's fun to try out new stuff, right?"

Idia: "E-Eh? What's with this super intense atmosphere...? I-It's like there should be RPG boss music playing... B-But the scenario itself is like something out of a dating sim... What a total mismatch of genres--not that I expected anything more of normies that have so little sense that they don't care if people catch them engaging in PDA! Gross, definitely gross...! Avert your eyes, Ortho!"

Malleus: "... They forgot to invite me again.")