#I actually have no idea what to make of this guy

[emelinstriker]

OOOOOOOO okay so about this cuz i gotta rant

i read quite a few fics in recent times that REALLY reeked of ai- like despite not saying it's ai, they just gave off such a flat ai vibe

like idm people foolin around with ai for inspiration/ideas or just generally usin it in private as help or to overcome boredom, i myself use cai and jai for the fun of it as seen by the bots of my own characters i wrote and drew for myself

but it rly makes me do a doubletake and raise an eyebrow when i read the same flat quality i get from cai and jai on an actual x reader fic on like tumblr or ao3

anyone who uses cai or jai probably has for example seen the phrase of "i love you more than anything in this world/i love you more than life itself" many many times- which is so off-putting when a character in a fanfic suddenly says it despite the fact that they would never say it- like you can't tell me the guy who kills everyone around him over mild disagreements, and constantly talks about life being miserable and how he shouldve died long ago, that he loves the other character more than life itself or the world

while technically correct, that shit does not sit right with me after getting flooded by such phrases and similar writing through ai chats- like it's not just those phrases

in all my years of reading and writing fanfics, i have never seen those phrases being used in any of the x reader fandoms i was/am in- until ai chats became popular-

like at this point everytime i see such a fic, i assume they either used ai, chat a lot with ai to the po8nt that's what they think a good fic would sound like, or are genuinely new to writing and read other's probably ai fics

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

[goorgeousz]

older | aaron hotchner

after hours au

older | aaron hotchner

after hours au

pairing: aaron hotchner x profiler!fem!reader

summary: the team uses their profile skills combined to figure out why you’re not interested in the cute agent just downstairs. you hate it. Hotch loves it.

content/tw: a little swearing.  reader is way too dramatic (she threatens to shoot morgan and then herself out of shame).

word count: 1.6k

a/n: I had so much fun writing this one. again, this idea came to me in a shower (my showers are not that long) (I just happen to shower a lot and i have my best ideas in it)

if you have any requests, suggestions or ideas (thought about in the shower or not), my requests are open <3

I’ll stop yapping (for now)

after hours masterlist

main masterlist

The bittersweet scent filled your nostrils before the sight of the steaming extra creamy cappuccino from your favorite coffee shop reached your eyes.

“What?” you squealed in surprise, stopping on your steps and spinning around to find Leo, one of the agents from the second floor “A cappuccino? My favorite! Leo, you didn’t have to.”

“It’s nothing, really.” he dismissed, but puffing his chest either way “I remember you said it’s your favourite. And it happens to be on my way here.” it wasn’t, and you knew it.

“You’re the best!” you complimented, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek “Thank you so much, honey! And it has a little heart in it.” you cooed, and smiled when he blushed “You spoil me way too much!”

“Anything for you.” he flirted “If you need me, I’ll be… Well, you know where to find me.” you chuckled.

“I do. Thank you again!” he smiled and winked, heading to the elevators.

After waiting for a second and tasting the drink to make sure it was as delicious as always (it was), you got back on your track to the break room, only two steps away. You bumped into Emily, who watched the whole interaction with a lopsided grin.

“What?”

“Nothing…” she sing-songed “I just think it’s cute.”

“What’s cute?” Morgan asked, getting in the room just behind the two of you.

Spencer, Hotch and JJ were already there discussing a consulting case the team had been working on. It started with Spencer and Hotch, and then JJ and soon after the break room became a makeshift conference room, like it always did, truly.

“Kelsen just bought her a cappuccino from her favorite coffee place.” Emily announced, getting the attention from the rest. Spencer and Hotch just went back to the files, but JJ standed up and stepped close to you to see it from her eyes.

“It’s not a big deal. I bring you guys sweet treats all the time. This is called being nice.” you pointed, seating on one of the tables and sipping from your beverage.

JJ and Emily just exchanged an amused look. Morgan took the seat to your right “So you don’t see it?”

You frowned “See what?”

“The heavy flirting. The lingering glances.” Emily started.

The completely unnecessary visits to our floor just to stop by at your desk. The excessive gifts.” JJ continued, looking pointedly at the cup you were currently sipping from.

“Oh. That.” you sighed.

“So you admit knowing he’s flirting with you?”

“Yes.” you stared blankly at Emily “So what?”

“So what? This ‘will they won’t they’ is dragging for too long.” JJ pointed.

“Wait, what? This isn’t… There isn’t… It's just harmless flirting.”

“Harmless flirting? Is this even a thing?” Morgan stared at you skeptically.

“Yes. You flirt with someone knowing it’s never going to happen between you. Ever. We do it to each other all the time…”

“Ouch?”

“Besides,” you kept going, not acknowledging his interruption “He’s just playing nice. There’s no actual interest involved.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Spencer muttered from his place at the couch, his eyes glued to the interrogation transcription. He felt the weight of everyone’s gaze on him, and stared back.

“Spill it out, kid.” Morgan begged, sounding way too amused with it.

“He stopped me in the parking lot a few weeks ago.” he started, fixing his glasses and shifting in his position, slightly overwhelmed with the attention. “He asked for advice on… Well, you.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” you whispered “And what did you tell him?”

Spencer shrugged “I didn’t know how to turn him down so I just started rambling facts and research regarding the scientific reasoning behind human relationship and the development of courtship. He eventually dropped it.” he gave everyone a closed-lips smile, seemingly proud of himself and amused.

“Wait, do you do this often? Ramble facts just so people leave you alone?” Hotch asked, glancing up from the tablet for the first time after you got in the break room. Spencer’s cheeks flushed in a deep red.

“Uh… No?”

Hotch surprisingly gave him a tight smile, but before anyone could get more into the revelation, JJ turned back to him, her eyebrows scrunched up together “Why didn’t you help him?”

Relief flooded through Spencer with the change of subject. He relaxed back into the couch, leaning back and crossing his fingers together like he always did when he was ready to discuss something he was certain about.

“I’ve seen her body language. She’s clearly not into him.”

“How so?” Morgan asked, doubfunded.

“Her eyes never linger on him, everytime he leaves the room it’s like he stops existing. Every time they talk she smiles and makes sure she listens, but her torso is almost every time leaning away from him, like she’s ready to go as soon as the conversation is over. It’s not like she’s uninterested, it’s like… she’s not even considering him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m positive she likes him and enjoys his company. And her smiles, her jokes and her laughs are real, just not romantically-interested ones.”

“When did you become an expert in relationships?” Derek squinted his eyes at him.

“This is basic body language knowledge. Knowing about all this says less about my expertise on the subject than not knowing says about your profiling skills…”

“Watch it, kid.”

“He’s getting way too good at these jokes” Emily muttered, nodding in disapproval but her eyes a glint of pride “But back to the real issue?”

“The four cases of first degree murder that happened in the last month in Las Vegas?” you asked, not-so-subtly trying to bring the attention back to the case.

You knew where this was going, and you didn’t like it one bit.

“Why aren’t you interested in him?” she asked, deciding not to acknowledge your observation.

“Hmm” you stuttered “Uh, I-I’m not going to get all personal with my boss in the room.” you declared, taking a long sip from your drink to keep from looking at Hotch. You had no idea why you said that, honestly. Obviously, you had no problem getting all personal in front of him. Or under him. Or on top of him. Or even splayed out at your dining table, face down as up getting eaten out by him.

And he was aware of it. So aware that he had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from smiling and giving away your secret. It’s not like a single smile would be enough to give away everything that happened that night, but all it took was a little reaction for them to start picking up on you – they were profilers, after all. Hotch only decided he was safe enough from his own frivolity when he felt the taste of the blood from how hard he bit on.

“Oh, cut it. That’s hardly the reason.” JJ stated, crossing her arms.

“Wait, can we focus on the fact that there must be something incredibly wrong for her to be so uncharacteristically shy about this subject?” Emily pointed, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at you.

“I just… Don’t like being the centre of attention.” you tried, and it was probably the first time those words came out of your mouth.

“Ha! Busted!” Emily laughed, banging her palm against the table in excitement and pointed at you, accusingly “That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told us.” 

“Do you have any dirt on him? Like something so disgusting that you can’t even think about…” Derek tried, his smirk growing up at each word.

“No! Not at all!” you exclaimed, started to get pissed off.

“He’s hot, you can’t deny it.”

“He is.”

“He’s nice. Are you the kind of girl who always ends up running away from the guys who are ‘too nice��?” Emily groaned.

“No, I’m not. There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“He’s hot, he’s nice…” JJ listed, once again ignoring your statements. You huffed in annoyment. “He’s tall, he’s responsible, he’s your age, he’s… Wait.” she stopped mid sentence, her face contorting in a smug smirk that almost made you hide under the desk.

You didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until your lungs started to burn along with your cheeks.

JJ had her gaze locked onto yours from across the room, and it’s like she was reading every thought you ever had “We listed many things, many reasons to why you might not be attracted to him. You didn’t bat an eye to any of them… Until I said he’s your age. That’s the problem, right? You don’t like guys your age.”

The thought of banging your head against the table repeatedly until it split open didn’t sound that bad.

There were a thousand ways this could get worse.

“And judging by the fact that she didn’t want this to be discussed in front of Hotch, I’m assuming she’s into older guys.” Emily stated, exchanging fist bumps with JJ and Morgan.

“Don’t tell me you have a little crush on bossman over there. Or is it Rossi? Just tell me this: is Strauss also your type, yes or no?” 

Oh dear god.

You fucking knew it.

There were a thousand other ways this could've gotten worse. And that’s one of them.

“Morgan..” Hotch scolded, immediately interrupted by you.

“I have a gun, you motherfu…”

“Enough!” Hotch raised his voice, standing up. “Threatening to use your gun on a coworker could get your license removed.” he raised one eyebrow at you.

“Fine. I’ll kill myself then.” you dramatized, hiding your head under your folded arms over the table.

“This isn’t, in no way, shape or form, any better. Morgan, cut it out.” you heard him scold. “I have a meeting with the director now. Later I’ll meet you all, and the rest of the team, in the conference room. To discuss the case.” He added, eyeing everyone as if to dare them to go against his commands.

Said ‘all’ muttered some kind of agreement, to which you just groaned something unintelligible.

If you’d raised your head a few instant sooner, you would’ve caught the way Hotch’s lips turned into a discreet smirk just before he left the room. Way too pleased with himself. So damn pleased his mind had no space for worries and guilt.

taglist

@winyourheartemma

@midnghtprentiss

@s0urw00lf

@camihotchner

[batlovebites]

Thinking about how the beasts would deal with a mortal partner's mortality catching up to them. Here's some quick thoughts on that.

Content Warning: death (via old age or sickness) and murder (because these guys do not handle it well.)

Shadow Milk seems like the one who deals with the idea of his partner's mortality the best, up until his partner is on death's door- if its sickness, he'll stop at nothing to find a way to cure it. If its age, though...

I think he'd try to find a way to make his partner immortal, too. But when that fails, I think he'd immortalize them as a puppet. Its not the real them, no, but its them from before age started to take them from him. Its them in whatever the 'best' period of their life was.

After they pass he uses it to cope but he has to control the simulacrum's actions so it actually just makes him feel worse because its obviously not them. It looks like what they looked like at one point, it acts how he remembers them acting, but how he remembers them isn't the same as how they actually were. But he doesn't stop because he'd rather try to convince himself of the lie they're still around than live with the truth that they're gone.

The illusion/puppet he makes progressively becomes less and less convincing as his memories are altered and exaggerated with time and repetition. In their absence, Shadow Milk starts to glorify them in his memory, completely disregarding any of their flaws or negative aspects that made them an actual full person; Which then makes the puppet act progressively less and less how they actually did.

Eventually probably disregards the simulacrum as its no longer even slightly convincing. But sometimes, when he thinks about them again and his heart starts aching, he conjures it up again to try to live the lie that they're still here again, just for a little bit longer. It always falls apart again, but there's brief moments where he can almost convince himself, so he keeps doing it.

Burning Spice is. Complicated! Would also want to make his partner immortal probably, but if that's proven to be impossible... I think he 'mercy' kills them, before age can affect them too much. When their hands start shaking, their memory begins to slip, their body slowly turning to dust beneath them, so slow they can hardly tell its happening- but Burning Spice has seen time claim a hundred thousand lives before, and can see it happening to them all too clearly.

Burning Spice doesn't want to let time take his partner from him, so he does it himself. Having control over their demise makes him feel better about it, if only slightly. Doesn't let them know its going to happen, because he wants their last memory of him to be pleasant. Just embraces them- and then promptly snaps their neck. Quick. Painless. Over before they could ever even know it happened.

He does view it as an actual mercy in a way, but its mostly a matter of him needing to feel like he was in control of when and how they died as opposed to them being taken from him. Change and destruction is his domain, he does not like it when those things are happening beyond his control, so he takes control of the situation himself.

Burning Spice is also quick to redirect any other emotion into anger because that's easier to manage, so the stages of grief he goes through are all just filtered directly into Anger and used as fuel to destroy more things. No one else would even be able to tell he's mourning at all, but deep down, he is, even though he doesn't want to. He's seen this happen over and over again, it shouldn't affect him anymore. He's angry at himself for letting it affect him. For letting himself grow attached to something- someone- he knew would be nothing but ash beneath his feet within a century in the first place. And yet...

Mystic Flour would perhaps put some effort in looking into how to make her partner immortal, just so that they could see everything else be reduced to flour with her before they both also were reduced to nothing. But she's not too torn up about it if unable to.

She starts to treat her aging partner as if they were already dead at a certain point, which certainly doesn't feel great for them. Comforting them about their inevitable and rapidly approaching fate is not a very nice thing to hear when they are currently still alive, probably have at least a few years of life left in them, and would probably like to enjoy those last few years rather than just think about their approaching death the whole time.

If their old age comes with any particularly high amounts of pain or memory loss, she's likely to speed up the process as a 'mercy'; Inflicting them with the Pale Ailment, which kills them within the day.

The whole day she holds and comforts them until they are reduced to flour, telling them soon they will feel nothing- no joy, yes, but also no pain. That there's nothing to fear. She sits there for a little longer after they're gone, still speaking comfort. Then she gets up and leaves; She feels nothing about it. Nothing at all.

Yet... a part of her, buried deep under layers of apathy, does wish they had lasted longer. Been at her side to see the rest of the world be reduced to flour first. Oh well.

Also, while I can't give proper thoughts until she's released, I think Eternal Sugar would probably Sleeping-Beauty her partner. Lock them in an eternal rest where they're basically dead, but their body does not age or rot further, and they're technically still breathing, so its like they're still there with her! (<- Coping extremely hard.)

[midnghtprentiss]

the favorite - jack abbot x f!attending!reader

pairing: jack abbot x f!attending!reader

a/n: this is my first jack story and i'm really excited. as a former healthcare worker (nurse!) the pitt changed a lot of things for me and it's my favorite show so far. hope you all like this idea of mine. sorry for any spelling mistakes. english is not my first language.

summary: all the times you were everyone's favorite person and one time you were jack’s person. 

one. 

you're a ray of sunshine. 

that's your thing.

you’re nice, intelligent, competent, kind and still the best part of the day for some people. and you’re smart as hell. she loves it. 

your calm energy it’s the reason why you work at the emergency department. people need your calmness around to work. which means you’re the favorite doctor beneath the staff, especially the nurses and med students - you’re their golden girl. 

dana loved you for different reasons. your sense of humour, your energy, the way you pay attention to the details. and most because you stay out of trouble. 

she never had a problem with you, actually, she was glad they put someone sane and kind to work in that shithole. every shift you showed up with something for the team. 

maybe homemade cookies, a cake and even a bread if you feel inspired baking for your people to show how grateful you are for them and to keep the spirits up. thank god it worked every time. perla and princess waited for you in the parking lot a few times just to make sure you got something good. 

what they admired the most about you was your strength to defend the nurses from the crazy patients. it doesn’t matter the shift, if someone is fighting with them, you’re the first one to show up and say some things. perla remembered how you got beaten up to defend princess from a perv that was touching her and how you ended up laughing about it with blood all over your nose (jack almost died when he saw you covered in blood - your blood). 

“it’s nothing, dana. he was touching her and i don’t appreciate it when men do that. she asked him to stop and he didn’t.” you shrugged and smiled at her. “don’t worry, alright? i would've done it for any of you.”

“kiddo, one of these days you’re going to kill me.”

“no i won’t.” you bolwed her a kiss and she laughed. a relieved laugh. “it’s not my fault i would take a bullet for you guys.” 

no one ever questioned your loyalty with the team, everybody knows exactly where’s the limit between respect and bullshit with you. from this day on, she put you under her wing and swore to herself anything that could ever happen to you during a shift was her full responsibility. some days the funniest part of her shift was explaining to abbot how you almost went home with a broken arm to defend them.

two. 

robby was his own person and you knew that. he loved the space, the warmth of his own heart and the loneliness. of course you were worried a lot of times. 

but for him you were like a breath of fresh air. the way you cracked jokes when you noticed he was this close to snap, when you distracted him for a few minutes with some picture of your cat, even taking him to the morgue just to swear bad words, or when you brought him coffee and chocolate. even when you covered for him for a few minutes so he could cry in peace. 

and he loved you a lot for that (and a lot of other reasons, but let’s focus on the main ones).

you never said a word about any of the things he never asked you to do and you've done it either way. he could count on you any moment of the shift just for glancing different at your direction. sometimes you have conversations with your eyes, sometimes you just cursed him under your breath and that was it. 

you even scared him a little. 

“i don’t want to see you for at least twenty minutes, robinavich. don’t make me yell at you.” you don’t even gleaned at him from the computer. “i got this. go grab something to eat while you cry, i don’t know. call your boyfriend, go watch some babies at peds i want you gone. the kids are my responsibility now.” 

“i need to be grown up now, i am literally their boss.” he tried to argue but one look from you was enough.

“if you don’t disappear in the next thirty seconds i’ll call jack and things will be worse.” you got up crossing your arms like a mother. 

“jezz, fine. please don’t ground call papa” he rolled his eyes, laughing and walked away from you, disappearing from your sight. 

“that’s how you teach grown men to be normal.” you winked at dana who was watching everything mesmerized cause she begged robby to take a break and he didn’t listen. 

robby was gone for thirty minutes and no one noticed his absence. when he returned to the nursing station he saw you teaching the med students how to do a proper examination on a normal patient, listening and answering all of the questions they had like a pro. 

you got everything covered and he felt good to have someone to help without needing to ask. 

that’s why you were his favorite. 

three. 

the med students loved you. the absolutely worship the ground you walked on. they loved your patience, your mind and especially how you treated them like people. in your mind they were there to learn, which means they'll make some mistakes and that's partially fine as long as they don’t kill anybody. 

“she has a masters and a doctorate, guys!” javadi once exclaimed like she found gold at the ED. 

at some point you became their confident. you knew every little detail about their life. how withaker was living with santos, how javadi was crushing mateo really bad even how santos struggled with the loss of her friend. mel learned how to open up about her sister's situation and mohan was navigating through the loss of her father even after all this time. you even helped mckay with the legal proceedings for her to have her son back. 

you knew everything. 

during your shifts you did your best to rotate between them. each day you choose one to watch from close and teach what you know and everyday they fight to decide who stays with you but after dr santos and whitaker dared to start a fist fight robby and dana choose for them. 

robby and jack were a little jealous of you, especially because you’re a smooth talker and you charmed everyone who listened. 

“it’s unfair how they follow you around like some sort of queen bee.” robby almost cried with his words. 

“i heard they have a groupchat with you, is it true?” jack nearly jumps from his seat. 

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you sipped your coffee. 

“oh you know exactly what i’m saying.” he shots back and you laughed hard. 

“are you jealous of them? from what i’ve known you don’t even like interns, abbot.” 

“yeah, but i like to know what they say about my girl.” 

“they call her mama bear, brother.” robby looked at his hands trying to hold a chuckle. 

they’re definitely jealous. 

you use your time to teach them some valuable lessons. you help them navigate in the transition of becoming a doctor. smoothly and nice, just like you learned. 

“you know, santos, i’ll be honest, you need to review your way of talking with people.” you were beside her with crossing arms, watching her stitch a patient. 

your voice was hard and soft at the same time. 

“i’m only rude to the jerks.” you hold your laugh. 

“at one moment you’ll start to see all of them as jerks and this can’t happen.” you warned her softly. “imagined if you’re the one in their position. would you like to be treated like that?” 

she stared at you and nodded gently, sighing at your words. 

“what if i can’t do that?” 

“you will call me and we’ll try a different approach.” you touch her shoulder and squeeze. “i don’t want you to be cold and indifferent. the medicine needs to make you feel something. you’re doing a good thing for someone you like or not.”

they listen to you and they care. if you say something immediately they’ll do it and will make it like their life depends on it. 

at your birthday, for example, they made you a cake from scratch and even decorated it with pink frost and a glitter candle. you burst out laughing just for them to do that for you. no one else got a cake, just you. 

they even wrote you a small letter. 

“thank you for being the best teacher for us. we loved you, mama bear.  lots of love and hugs from your students.”

you were really grateful for those kids and they were grateful you’re their teacher. 

four. 

langdon was a problematic guy. it was no secret. he knew it, you knew it. but he was an exceptional doctor. no discussions about that. it was a fact. 

when he first started struggling with his addiction he came to you. something was happening to him and you got it in your heart that in the right moment he would talk. 

and he did.

he always talked about his problems with you. he came to talk about his marriage and how scared he was to broke things off with abby, how scared he was of being a shitty father. he viewed you more like an older sister, a protector of him. he liked how you never judged his fears, he liked the way you listened and tried to put some sense into his mind to do the right things. 

but this time it was different. it was worse. eating him alive. 

you were working a double shift when he found you in the stairs eating a burger in peace. you offered him some and he denied it. the air around him was thick, heavy and sad. he was a broken man and the sight almost broke your heart. 

“talk to me, frank.” 

“i fucked up.” you nodded, putting your food away to hold his hand.

“heard about it.” he sighed and you could see how embarrassed he was. “you need to get some help. i can’t see you struggling and acting like nothing's wrong. i like you too much to close my eyes and pretend.”

“i’m going to rehab. eleven months.” you smile. “robby is pretty pissed at me.” you both laughed. 

“good for you, frank.” your hand find his shoulder “you’re gonna get better. i’ll be there to help you whenever you need someone to talk, to eat burgers or talk shit about our job.the world is pretty fucked and i’m pretty sure you need a chance to make things right from your mistakes, you hear me?”

he nodded feeling a little less lost knowing you’ll be there to help. he wasn’t alone anymore and when he understood he had you by his side, the journey was smoother. 

five. 

jack abbot was a man of darkness. he worked so much better at night. it was his comfort zone. 

until you showed up years ago and messed up this whole dark theme he had planned for himself. 

working doubles wasn’t strange to you. you have bills to pay and things to accomplish and no time to waste. you two get along pretty well. more than well, actually. you were unstoppable together and everybody knew that. even walsh recognize you were good. she liked you (a miracle in jack’s view) a lot. 

you knew better than to date another doctor. you did this once and ended up in a pretty bad divorce. and with jack? you didn’t care anymore. 

he also knew better than to date another doctor. to date anyone actually. but no one was you. no one had a contagious laughter like yours. no one had a brain like yours. 

he was pretty sure god, or whatever divine figure, sent you just for him. 

the whole ‘soulmate’ story was a lie to him, until it wasn’t. you definitely was his soulmate. his favorite person.

his person. 

from the quiet drive home after a shift. from the warmth of your body curled around him. even your cold feet touching his feet in the middle of the night. 

falling for you was so easy if you like to observe things from a closer perspective. he noticed how you always have something red when you work the night shift and how you have something green at the day shift. he noticed you liked your coffee sweet for normal shifts and how you drink your coffee black at night.

he observes how you treat everyone, how you greet them with a bright smile and the coziest hugs even on your worst day. he could spend hours watching you talk (he does that everytime you pick an online class to teach) or breathe (he watched your sleep like a crazy psycho). 

you’re his person when you grab him coffee without him asking, when you sneak a sweet in the pocket of his scrubs. when you catch his gaze from across the room. when you start rambling about some gossip you heard through dana. when you talk to yourself trying to remember the article you just published.

to be loved is to be seen and he sees you. 

 you’re his person when he knows you’re his. 

he knows you are his girl when you’re sitting in his bed with his shirt and his socks, messy bun, glasses, computer on your lap, cup of tea in the nightstand and his dog laying at your feet waiting for you to move. the comfortable silence. the white noise of the television playing something he lost track of what it was. it’s when he looks at you like you’re his salvation from the darkness. it’s the words that come through his mind when he writes you a letter or a note. 

“i think i’m going crazy.” you whisper looking at him for a second.

“where is this coming from?” he chuckled. 

‘just checking if you agree or not.” you winked and he laughed hard. 

“pretty funny until you start accusing me of madness.” 

“i could never! it was one time, c’mon.” he took your glasses and held your face. 

“you’re the most gorgeous thing i’ve ever seen.” love. that was love from him. 

he doesn’t feel bad showing you who he really is. you’ve seen him, really seen him. you love him for who he is, good baggage or bad. you love his mean remarks, his type of affection. you love how he is quiet. you love how he balances his life going to therapy, talking to someone. you find it funny how he tries to hide a smile when you compliment him. how he flustered when you kiss him in public. how he loves when you bake cookies for him. 

“i loved your brownies. did you put some coffee this time? best one so far. love you. -j”

to be loved is to be seen and you see him. 

it’s the hope of a future he know it’s worth fighting for because you’re his person. you’re his present.

the kind of love that doesn't need words to be there (but he has a ring in his drawer waiting for the right moment). 

[copperbadge]

I was going to try to reply elsewhere but this already has 120K notes, I don't think OP will be that bothered by this one :D

I'm not sure what the difference would be between thinking in words and hearing an inner voice, to be honest, but that's because I don't really have a true idea of what the inner voice is like. When I'm composing something in text, I have to get my thoughts from my brain to the page and there's an intermediate process of converting thought to word that does go on, so...I guess I'm capable of it but it's not something I do unless it's necessary, and I don't really choose to do it or not to do it, it's like a muscle memory. I definitely don't remember flavors or smells unless I'm encountering them again -- like I'll recognize a flavor if I'm eating it -- but I think that's fairly normal.

I don't really know how to express my thought process other than knowing that it happens. Like, if I'm trying to outline how I got from point A to point B I generally can, but it won't be expressed in the way it actually happened.

I am now gonna ask that if people want to discuss this more they make a post and tag me in it, because I'd rather not keep reblogging this discussion as headed by a scene from The Princess Bride. Thanks guys. :D

[emos4matt]

mattscoquette turning off her inbox and deleting all the posts about the situation proves that she’s not actually sorry. she just doesn’t wanna take actual accountability for what she did, and she’s too scared of all the backlash she is getting. sorry babe, but nobody will forget what you’ve done.

you just should go ahead and deactivate your account along with all the others involved plus the tripouts account. nobody genuinely wants you guys around anymore.

nobody even thought that gc was a good idea to begin with or the fact that you guys made a account to post about your gc. like you were bragging about it, which isn’t cute because all you ever did was make fun of chris. which why don’t you make a apology for him like you made your fake ass ai aplogy about the ableist comment.

even if chris won’t see all this, he still deserves a apology. he has never done anything to you and for you guys to talk about him like that is very sickening and disgusting. especially since one of your gc members has met him. why would you pay all that money if you’re just gonna hate on him. i honestly think they have this weird obsession with matt. you never see them talking any bad about him, it’s juust chris and them making a fake account of nick using slurs.

also if you support any of them from the gc @/mattscoquette @/snoopychris @/sosasturns @/cvnntagious @/chrattho1 @/whore4mattsturniolo block me.

[paperbackribs]

"Hey, it's 'they/them,' dickheads," Steve interrupts exasperatedly.

Modern non-binary Eddie who is out but the kids just don't really let it sink in. Don't think about how Eddie increasingly flinches every meet-up as they exclaim during the campaign, calling out that 'he' has said this and that about the current monster in their tracks.

Steve though. Steve, feeling a little stupid the first time Eddie had haltingly told him about why it was so important to them. That the euphoria of 'woman' or 'man' was actually reserved for the fizzing feeling of rightness when gender was mixed and erased for them.

Steve, who felt the cogs in his head rubbing slowly together but had fixed the idea firmly in his heart--for the person in his heart--interrupts as the kids draw up their last play.

"They," Steve cuts in, firm and with a gimlet stare at the boys who frown up at him in confusion.

"They what?" Mike asks in exasperation, clearly expecting Steve to stutter and back away despite Steve never having backed away from a fight in the entire time the two guys have known each other.

"Who what?" Dustin mutters absently as he adjusts his gold count. "We're nearly done." He licks the tip of his pencil before returning to his count of the loot.

Lucas eyes the hardening stare on Steve's face, flicking over to Eddie's suddenly wide gaze and pokes Dustin to look up, "I don't think it's that."

Mike sighs at Steve's hands falling to his hips, recognising the chastening posture even as he doesn't understand why. Eddie though. Their expression falls from wide surprise to understanding and something with a touch of awe that Steve doesn't quite understand from his friend.

"They, you dickheads," Steve repeats, lips pursed. "Eddie is not a 'he.' They're not 'her.' They are 'they.' They are 'them.' It's not hard. I literally used it like a million times already today."

Steve sniffs into the air and Mike scowls, "It just happens; Christ, Steve."

The light dims in Eddie's eyes, but he nods gamely, voice even and-- Steve can tell--deliberately light, "It's no big deal, easy to do. Don't worry about it, Stevie."

"But it hurts you," Steve insists.

Mike's eyes widen in surprise and Lucas winces.

Eddie hurriedly shakes their head with a forced laugh, "It's not like I've not gone by 'he' for nearly my entire life." They wink at Dustin, who had raised his head suddenly.

"You did a thing," Dustin says slowly, putting down his pencil next to a dragonborne figurine and miming an exaggerated wince and flinch. "Two hours and--" he checks his Casio watch, "thirteen minutes ago when the orcs invaded. I said our dungeon master was a right man of a bastard."

Eddie softens, genuine amusement lighting their face, "I'm used to you lot cussing me out, Henderson."

"But it wasn't the swearing," Lucas says, remorse filling his voice even as he pinches Mike. The other kid yelps but quietens when Lucas leans in, heatedly whispering and Mike goes red then white in the face.

"Oh shit, I forgot."

Teeth gritted, Eddie repeats, "It's not a big deal. Now--"

"Okay," Steve interrupts again, pulling a seat over to sit next to Eddie, thighs almost touching, "then it's no skin off our nose if we start practising for you, right?"

He turns to the boys, expression pleasant for the first time, "Eddie said it's no big deal, are they right?"

Mike blinks three times before pointing to his character sheet, "Eddie should have given me experience points for the giant spider but they stiffed me."

In an uncanny echo, Eddie blinks at Mike for his word choice.

"They were right," Dustin argues. He points at Lucas, "He figured out the clue and stabbed it--" he turns his finger to Eddie, "--and so they made the right call."

Eddie blinks again with eyes that look a little moist while Lucas continues with the cues given to him by his friends. He makes a loud boinking sound, "Sucks to be you. Hey, Eddie, can I have the spear these two bozos found?"

And with that, the sound of squabbling fills the room.

Steve looks on contentedly as Eddie leans back in their throne, eyeing the boys as they confidently back the adventurers into a corner while teasing the idea of a new battle simultaneously.

Steve leans back into his small frame of a chair too, a smile playing at the sides of his mouth as he listens to his favourite people love each other in their own special ways.

[vyzoi]

I see Sae x readers where they actually obey Sae’s social media management team. So that gave me an idea. Let’s disobey Sae’s social media management team.

Fem reader

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You and Sae have a secret social media account. Sae’s management really doesn’t want you guys to have social media accounts that aren’t verified. But does that stop you? No. You guys obviously don’t use your names at all on this secret account. Sometimes pictures, but they’re pictures that have already been shown to the public.

That was until you both got busted. Turns out, you accidentally posted a picture of Sae that hasn’t been shown to the public. Sae’s phone starts ringing. “It’s my manager calling, I’m putting it on speaker but don’t say anything.” He knows what you did. The notifications on his phone are blowing up with that same post. He doesn’t care though.

“Itoshi Sae! I don’t know who owns that account, but it needs to be deleted.”

“Why?”

“You know why! You can’t have a secret account. You or her might ruin your image if you post something by mistake. That’s why you have a social media management team in the first place.”

“Fine, we’ll delete the account.”

He hangs up. “To make a new secret account on a new platform.”

And that’s what you do. You move to a social media platform that doesn’t have many users. Of course you don’t use the same name or the same profile pic as the old account. You then share the information with Sae.

After he deletes the old account, he’s the first one to post on the new one. And it’s a picture of Rin. “Why Rin?” He tries not to laugh. “Maybe if we come off as a Rin fan page most of the time, my management won’t find us.”

If Rin ever discovers this, he’s going to be so confused. It’ll be worse if he finds out that it’s actually his brother who keeps posting about him and is actually saying nice things about him that he wouldn’t even say to his face.

[cherrygirlfriend]

─ SILENT TREATMENT ♥︎

...or the one where rafes explains himself.

♥︎ pairing .ᐟ nerd!rafe x pervert!reader

♥︎ summary .ᐟ rafe reveals why he didn't tell the reader he loves her.

♥︎ warnings .ᐟ angst, fluff, comfort, mentions of death wc: 1.3k

♥︎ author's note .ᐟ *evil laughter*

PERVERT MASTERLIST ♥︎ RAFE MASTERLIST

pissed off. collins dictionary defines 'pissed off' as meaning annoyed, irritated, or disappointed, yet none of those words seemed good enough for what you felt towards rafe. he had humiliated you. you had given him your heart and he had stomped all. over. it. and he had the guts to avoid you? to ignore your calls and reply to your texts with 'sorry busy, speak soon.'? how dare he?

the other day, you had seen him in the hallway and you waved at him, only for the douchebag to pretend he didn't even see you. he's probably laughing at you. laughing because he made you fall in love with him, when in reality, he was probably just playing with you, just like every other guy.

"god, i'm so sick of him!" you groaned, throwing back yet another shot of vodka, "he's infuriating! i could have anyone! anyone."

your best friend brit's idea of 'making you feel better' was to dress you up as slutty as possible and bring you to a party, to ‘get your mind off of things’. but the drunker you got, the more you thought about rafe. his annoying sandy-colored hair that was so soft, his stupid glasses, his infuriatingly beautiful eyes you could get lost in...

"god, i hate him." brit refilled your glass, the two of your clinking the small shot glasses before throwing them back, the alcohol making you turn up your nose.

"girl, you should just find some guy and hook up with him to get revenge!" brit shouted over the music before she started dancing. "you're totally right!" you grinned, "why should i care about him when he doesn't care about me?!"

the last thing you remember was going up to some guy.

your eyes slowly fluttered open, feeling nauseous as soon as your eyes were exposed to a sliver of sunlight through your blinds. you groaned, stretching your arm wide in your bed. until you made contact with bare skin.

you immediately sat up in bed, pulling the blanket up as you looked at the figure next to you. the person was sleeping on his stomach, a pillow covering the back of his head, but you could clearly tell it was a man.

a pit dropped down into your stomach, and you felt bile rising up your throat. it didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. you'd blacked out and gotten with a guy. you'd cheated on rafe. your eyes started to sting with tears as you scooched up to the edge of the bed, your head in your hands.

quiet sobs escaped your throat as tears trailed down your cheeks. you had no idea how to explain it to rafe. the one guy you had actually cared about, the one guy who had actually wanted you, not because of your body but because of who you were... and you fucked it up. just like you fuck up every good thing in your life. rafe would never forgive you, and you couldn't even blame him.

"hey, what's wrong?" you heard a groggy voice say, making you sob even harder.

"i'm such a shitty person..." you mumble through your throaty sobs as you try to wipe the tears off your face, "i've ruined everything!"

"hey, hey, baby, calm down."

you turned to slap away his hand, "don't call-!"

but when you saw the pair of familiar ice blue eyes looking back at you with nothing but utmost gentleness and adoration, your eyes widened.

"rafe...?" you said his name softly, as if any moment he might disappear and turn into someone else. the boy let out a chuckle, shaking his head, "who else?"

you threw your arms around him and threw yourself at him so harshly that rafe was thrown back down to lie on the bed as you squeezed him, starting to press kisses all over his face as rafe laughed, his arms wrapping around your torso. "is there a reason you're being this affectionate when usually when you're hungover all you want to do is suffocate everyone with a pillow?"

you pulled your face away from rafe but still kept your arms around him as you pursed your lips in thought, considering whether or not it was a good idea to tell him what you thought had happened. clearing your throat, you let go of him and sat up, still keeping his hand in yours as you took a deep breath, "i thought... i thought i did something stupid last night." you admitted, only to be faced with a soft smile from your boyfriend.

"you thought you cheated on me, right?"

"how'd... how'd you know?"

"well," rafe chuckled softly, "some guy called me from your phone. told me you were trashed. said that he'd been hitting on you but you just kept talking about your 'bastard boyfriend who you love more than anything' and he told me i should come pick you up." he snorted, warmth creeping up your cheeks in embarrassment. "the entire walk to your dorm you were confused about who i was. you literally said 'hands off me! i have a boyfriend'."

"oh god. kill me now." you laughed softly, shaking your head, "i'm too embarrassing when i drink."

rafe sat up, taking in a deep breath, looking down at both of your hands in his before looking up into your eyes, "about what you said-"

"rafe, let's just forget it, okay. it's no big deal."

"it is." the boy squeezed your hands, seeking for eye contact, "the thing is... it's not that i don't feel the same way towards you that you feel towards me." rafe cleared his throat, trying to find the right words to express what he wanted to say, "i just... my mom is the last person i said those words to. they were the last words i said to her."

"rafe..."

"she..." rafe took in a deep breath, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, clearing his throat again to try and get rid of the weak tone in his voice, "my mom was sick. ovarian cancer. i slept next to her every night, and just like every other night, i told her, 'goodnight, mom. i love you.' and she said the same. then when i woke up... the arm that was around me was cold."

you squeezed his hand, watching as rafe clenched his jaw, trying to hold back tears.

"after my mom... no one's said that to me. and i've never said it to anyone. it's like i was raised in a house where telling someone you love them was a sign of weakness. i do feel that way towards you, there are a thousand different poems, a thousand different words that describe the way i feel towards you, but... i just can't say those words, not yet. but once i can... i know they're gonna be said to you."

you withdrew one of his hands, moving it so it was cupping rafe's cheek, your thumb drawing small strokes on his skin. "i get that. you don't have to say it. i can be patient, for you. i'd do anything for you rafe."

rafe's eyes met yours, a small, melancholic smile slowly taking over his lips, the boy nodding softly, bringing your hand that was still intertwined with his to his lips and pressing a kiss there, making you chuckle softly.

"i want in fact more of you. in my mind i am dressing you with light; i am wrapping you up in blankets of complete acceptance and then i give myself to you. i long for you; i who usually long without longing, as though i am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you."

"who's that by?"

"franz kafka."

"the bug guy?" you teased, making rafe burst out into a laugh "the guy who wrote about a guy turning into a bug?"

but rafe quieted you down by simply bringing his lips to yours.

[gay-dorito-dust]

I got this hc that little nero was raised by dante and his s/o for a while lil nero is so well behaved with s/o and just chaos with dante

(NERO DESERVE LOVE TOO AAAAA)

I can see Nero just being an absolute angle to you/reader, never once acting out or throwing a tantrum, just content with being in your arms and wanting to help you in general, even though his little baby hands can’t do much.

It’s the thought that counts and it gives him the gift of a million forehead kisses as you thank him for being ‘the man of the house’ much to Dante’s dismay becuase Nero acts the exact opposite.

Nero glares at him, won’t do what Dante asks of him, knocks over pizza boxes and generally making a mess of even somehow managing to get his little chubby hands on a unfinished -yet somehow still cold- strawberry sundae and crying because he faves himself brain freeze.

Baby! Nero wants to be with you more then he wants to be with Dante and it shows.

There was no changing the fact that you were Nero’s favourite, even going so far as to try and escape Dante’s arms to crawl on all fours to you, making cute baby sounds as his motivation to get to you grew strong writhing this quarter demon baby.

‘Hello little man.’ You greet as you picked Nero up and into your arms as he coos, kissing his forehead. ‘Was Dante behaving himself?’ You playfully ask as Nero seemed to actually tell you his day through baby babbles and noises that you acted as though were words that you could understand, meanwhile Dante stood like the odd man out as he watched you two interact.

‘Oh I was behaving alright, this little man was chasing a right ruckus when you were gone.’ Dante said, ruffling Nero’s white hair, making the boy within your arms glare at him once more as he buries his head into your neck as his chubby hands clung to you tightly.

‘Nero? Causing a ruckus? My baby would never.’ You defended the child as you rubbed his back, knowing that after the long day he’s had the boy deserved a long sleep for another long day ahead of him.

Dante looked at you unamused as you continued to baby the baby, the very same baby that almost pulled his hair out and almost made him go deaf in one ear with his screeching, and nearly clawed his face off with that glowing demon arm of his after he muttered that the little guy wouldn’t do this if you were present in the room. Not a good idea on his behalf because his baby nephew was quite the screamer, yet here he was now in your arms, fast asleep as though he didn’t almost tore the house apart a couple of minutes ago.

Yet the sight of Nero falling fast asleep on your shoulder and you holding him as though he was the most precious thing in existence, humming a little tune as you made your way to put the little boy to bed, where it was the same thing; you try to get him to let go of you, Nero wouldn’t let go of you, and your left to take Nero to fall asleep upon your chest within yours and Dante’s shared room.

While his nephew was a little shit, Dante knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to the little guy nor you, and will indulge in his antics and tantrums if it meant that the kid got to be a kid far longer then he or his brother ever did. Dante would much rather have his baby nephew kick and scream then deal with anything he had to deal with growing up, and knew that you could give him that childhood that he had lucked out on past a certain point, and he knew that he wouldn’t want his nephew to have anything other than a roof over his head and a warm pair of arms to fall asleep within.

He deserves that much and more for a kid of his circumstance.

[songwithnosoul]

#i always imagines his shoes to be cowboy boots underneath it all. the lightning mcqueen of character designs

#its that all of them are equaly wild and it balances out

#and he wears the sunglasses at night too

#trying to explain to non-artists how absolutely fucked up it is trying to draw this man#like the line from this man’s cheek fo jawline is so weird for me?? shit just sticks out somehow#Mans always in contrapposto#the ‘huh??’ face#also. i am obsessed with sissel having a New York accent so consider- those aren’t vans they’re timbs#it takes a certain kind of deranged to go around in ghost white timbs

#I read his shoes as uhh the word escapes me. but patent leather dress shoes. like gangsters wear in movies.

#it’s the dead guy rizz

#i should dress like this to prom

#that. that design#it calls to me#tumblr approved man

#who is this man? not even he knows#sissel: i don't know why i made these fashion choices but i'm stuck with em now#he looks so stupid and so rad at the same time

#he looks so so stupid i love him#the fucking hair

#AND he’s got amnesia so he can’t even remember why he made those fashion choices in the first place lmaoooooo

#on anyone else it would look bad. but he has the Swag.

#the sunglasses and the way his sprites are drawn help#like both art style and posing#god the character design is so good in this game#he’s so lively for a character with static sprites#like the art style in general makes most everything look good#except the curry prisoner guy

#it's been forever since i played ghost trick but nonsense that makes perfect sense was jus part of the game which yknow good for them

#he has banana hair a red suit with white loafers and is wearing sunglasses constantly#he looks like a giant douchebag but it’s still the best thing ever#ghost trick

#who is this man#yeah sissel wishes he knew that too

#the character design and art direction in this game is just off the charts awesome#and Sissel is like on the milder end of the scale too

#genuinely when i first saw the hair i thought#what the fuck is this game that i’m playing

#truly he goes from what the fuck kinda design in your eyes to best character design so fast

i can't believe im saying a banana dressed like a ketchup bottle looks hard as fuck but he does. he fucks. what STYLE what GRACE i want his GENDER

#wanna hit him w my car#affectionate. ur cool sissel

#Uhm actually those are the dirk strider glasses *I am shot and killed immediately *

#he's so cool and so awful to look at

#the nature of following people in different is that every so often#you run into cherry flavored present mic with not a clue as to why or who that is#and it's just a normal occurrence

#the whole reason I ever even considered playing Ghost Trick#this weird man's incredible design#what the heck#it's a work of art

#Truly one of the designs ever

#also the banana hair is supposed to emulate the tail of a spirit/soul#trust me if you saw the other ideas for his hair

#fr hes got a perfect colour palette

#play ghost trick for more successful fashion failures

#love him or hate him he exudes an energy of mystery from his first appearance

#the sheer audacity and smugness is what ties it all together#nobody would be caught dead in that fit but this man rocks it#ALSO WHITE FUCKING SHOES

#i need to steal his clothes#Just missing the white tie and white shoes

#its cool when u dont think about how his everyday life must be#how much hair gel does he use??#him with his hair down is cursed and Not Him#the banana hair is important#just dont think about it too hard

#Honestly when i was watching the playthru a million years ago i would totaly forget that his hair has an end#u know cuz the icon screen cuts it off#bezerk sword hair in my heart

#it's called confidence baby and it comes from fucking cluelessness as all confidence should

#he doesn’t realize how insane he looks due to REDACTED and amnesia

#i wrestle with this conundrum ever damn time i look at him

#Looks like a sci-if Ronald McDonald

#imagine waking up dead looking like this and not knowing a thing about why you look like this

#it's even funnier when you learn his occupation#like oh. you do that? and you go to work dressed like that?#ok dude

#especially how the expressions work on it too....#like with his Completely Dumbfounded and :0 expressions you feel like it shouldn't work but it does!!!!

#simultaneously silly and actually kinda cool. very distinct.#and you have to take it seriously during the emotional scenes anyway#i like the sunglasses at night though thats the finishing touch

#idk who this man is but with any wacky outfit you need confidence to carry it off. and he’s got panache in *spades*

#yeah#design that in any other context would make me go oh dirk? but they shot straight past it into a whole new loser#and it rules

#a fucking muppet that's what he is

#‘who is this man’ this character design for this game? gets you asking the right kind of questions#literally perfect no further notes necessary

#hey guys if you're on mobile open the sissel image and make the guy zoom around your screen :)

#if vash and wolfwood had a baby this is what he would look like

#absolutely nothing about the designs in ghost trick feels like they should work#they're all categorically insane#and yet they work SO well

#its about confidence. the swagger of a man who has lost everything

#he looks like an exclamation point

#also notably ghost trick was on the ds originally and this man is SHAPED. you can see him no matter how low poly he is

#He should’ve been a tumblr sexyman I’m so serious

sissel's character design elements are so deranged individually yet somehow they all end up working together to make the most baller design youve ever seen. i really dont know how to describe it ive never seen anything quite like it.

[bonsubear]

Reader loves Invincible but hates Mark┃Mark/Invincible x Fangirl! Reader┃#3

totally hasn't been a month since I updated this series guys... :p

#1, #2, #3, #?

CW: ooc, cringe prob

WC: 3.5k

Mark wasn’t expecting taking pictures to be so… hard? The idea of taking pictures of himself seemed relatively easy but actually putting it in practice was surprisingly hard.

He took punches from his dad during training that hurt like hell, was thrown around like a rag doll and slammed to the ground that left him sore for weeks against everyday villains and been painted black and blue with bruises that stained his body like he was some sort of volunteer for a body painting class.

No matter what was thrown at him, literally or figuratively, he came back standing tall and strong. Yet, Mark was being bested by a phone camera that could not—no matter how many times he embarrassingly posed in the air—take a good picture of him.

To cut himself some slack, it's tricky to try and take shots when flying in the air by yourself while making it seem like someone else took it.

He tried to set down his phone and put it on a three, five, or ten second timer and make it seem like Invincible was taken off guard by a photo around the city—but it was like there was a curse placed upon him that made every single one of them appear blurry, unappealing, and unattractive.

Mark groaned, laying down on top of a random building, his phone beside him. He dug his hands in his hair, pushing his black locks back as he had been out here taking pictures for hours and still didn't have anything presentable for you.

It's been three days since he got your number, and he hasn't been able to start any conversation with you through text. Mark had hoped to start the perfect conversation with Invincible photos, but that plan seemed to be going up in flames with how he had zero presentable pictures.

Tomorrow is a Monday, and he didn't want to see you without having proved he was an Invincible fan to gain some favorability.

He felt really nervous, anxious, and embarrassed. Mark wanted to present to you what he promised with a silver platter, hearing you light up and praise him with blooming happiness.

It felt so stupid, so dumb but—ugh. He wanted to hear you sing praises towards him, just like how you sing praises to his superhero counterpart all the time.

He would never get riled up or upset about the fact that you would constantly insult and verbally abuse his character every chance you got, but for some reason, he easily gets worked up when his mind would track back to your admiration towards Invincible.

He had this jealousy towards Invincible that he had a hard time coming to terms with. For Pete's sake, Mark was Invincible but every time he imagined you practically drooling over his superhero counterpart in spandex, he wanted to beat himself up.

It was ridiculous. Mark knows he's him, but you don't.

Mark wants to hear you say something nice about him. A praise, a compliment—anything that Mark earned fair and square without the mask. Even a simple "hey, good job I guess!" would suffice.

As long as it comes from you, the most beautiful and gorgeous girl he has ever laid eyes on, he'll be set.

.

.

.

... What.

His body tensed as he immediately sat up from the floor, his face burning with a pink flush as he had taken in the thought that crept inside his mind.

Sure, he wasn't going to deny the fact that you were beautiful—you are! You take care of yourself like crazy with the products you buy and use every time he saw you at school so it's perfectly natural to think you're a very pretty individual—well, even without those he knows that you'll still look amazing!

Mark would be crazy to think you’re not! Hell, if you gave him the chance, he'll kiss the ground you walk on just because of how attractive you are to him!

... What.

His cheeks flushed a deeper pink, edging close to red as his hands flung to hold his face. What was that?! Mark internally screamed as steam was practically emitting from his face because of his embarrassing thoughts.

He felt sick, his stomach doing backflips as a sudden whirl of images of you appeared in his head.

Mark stared and observed you long enough that all angles of you were burned into his memory. Those long moments he looked at you during class was now biting him in the ass, leaving him a redden mess as he tried to calm himself.

That—is definitely not a creepy way to think about a potential new friend, right?

It's nothing weird, he thinks—or more so he tries to convince himself.

He's simply stating the obvious to no one but himself! Perfectly normal thing to do! Mark just really wants to be friends with you because you’re awesome, you’re into nerdy stuff like him and you'll make a perfect potential new candidate for friendship!

Perfectly normal to stare at your number and jot down potential first messages in his notes app to find the perfect one to send to you!

Perfectly normal to rehearse how to talk to you in the mirror for the past three days so that you'll start to see him as a cool guy rather than the guy you hate with a burning passion!

Perfectly normal to search up what other stuff he can buy for you and start putting some money on the side reserved just for you if an opportunity like that ever happens again!

Perfectly... normal... yeah. Normal friend stuff.

"So, this is where you ran off to?" A familiar deep voice snapped him out of his thoughts, causing Mark to jolt. Before standing up, he scrambled to get his phone and put it behind him. "Imagine my surprise when your mom woke me up asking where you were."

"D-Dad! Hheeyy." Mark cringed; his cheeks were still dusted a light pink. "What, uh, what are you doing here?" He squeaked out.

"What are you doing here? Your mom's been looking for you." Nolan raised a brow, looking at his son with curiosity. He was wearing his Invincible suit and was obviously hiding something behind his back.

"N-Nothing! Nothing. I just went out flying for a bit, heh." Mark shrugged his shoulders, trying to remain casual to hide the fact that he had been out here taking pictures of himself for you.

How much time had passed that his dad went out looking for him? It's been a couple of hours sure—but not that long, right?

"Uh-huh." Nolan nodded his head slowly, not convinced at all by the reasoning. With Mark's entire arm hidden by his back, it was clear that his son was hiding something. "I take it that whatever is behind your back is a part of," he paused, raising his hands to do air quotations, "flying?"

"Yup! Exactly!" Mark nodded quickly, toeing around his dad while still shielding his phone behind him like it was some sort of ancient relic. It would be embarrassing if his dad found out what he was actually doing—he would never live it down.

"I'm, uh, going to do some more flying! —so just tell mom I'll be back in a jiff!"

"Have fun with your 'flying'—and whatever your hiding behind there." Nolan let out a dry laugh, watching his son's cheeks flush into a deep shade of red as he stuttered out a reply.

"Behind my—whaaat? I don't know what you’re talking about dad," He raised his free hand to do a circle motion to his head, "I think old age is getting to you—uh, anyway, bye! Gotta go take—I mean, fly! See you at home!" Mark yelped, leaping off the building and taking flight.

Nolan watched the blue and yellow silhouette of his son disappear, zooming past a building with so much speed that he had never seen him have before.

He paused before letting out a deep laugh, shaking his head.

Mark sat at the dinner table. He was helping his mom by folding pieces of square paper into origami swans. It was for leaving a nice touch to the houses that his mom was selling—or something like that.

He didn't really know the whole reason why, listening to his mom absentmindedly as he was busy tapping his foot as his hands mindlessly moved on their own, thinking about you and the photos that he took today.

The recent ones he took before coming home were surprisingly better, but not anything crazy good. They looked so immature, like a baby with wobbly hands took them.

"-rk? Mark?" His mom's voice called out to him, and Mark snapped out of his thoughts. He accidentally ripped the paper origami that he was halfway into making, startled at suddenly hearing his mom’s voice.

"Uh, yeah?” He laughed awkwardly as he stared at the blue paper he just ripped, sheepishly pushing it aside. “Whoops.”

"What are you thinking about? I've been calling your name for five minutes," Debbie laughed, shaking her head as she grabbed the swan origamis that Mark had mindlessly folded. "Thinking about something important?”

He shook his head, his leg jumping up and down.

“Okay. How about someone important?—"

"No!" Mark straightened his back at the mention of 'someone,' an image of you flashing in his mind. His anxious leg stopped bouncing, coming to a halt as he blinked at his mom.

Debbie raised a curious brow at his reaction, his reply to what she had innocently asked being a bit too fast.

Her son cleared his throat, trying to act casually and brush off his odd behavior. "Ha, I mean, no. Nothing important, really."

"Hm." Debbie let out an amused hum, wiggling her eyebrows at her son's contorting face. It was funny, but almost sad how clear his emotions were written on his face. Even though a part of her wanted to find out what was going on with him, she sighed as she decided against it. “Whatever you say, Mark.” She chuckled.

A small silence passed between them, before Mark broke it. "You know, actually, mom I do have sort of a question to ask you."

"Yes?"

"Hypothetically," Mark cleared his throat, gesturing with his hands. "would there be a reason why someone would randomly just hate another person?" He shrugged his shoulders, trying to seem disinterested at the possible answer.

"Hate? That's a strong word. Are you sure hate is the right word in this 'hypothetical' question?"

"Yeah! Like, really hate. Hate to the point," Mark didn't notice the small smile that crept on the corner of his lips, but Debbie certainly did, "where she—they insult you every day and call you a creep and stuff."

Debbie was taken aback at this, blinking before responding. It was obvious that this situation was about him and some other person, specifically a girl with how he fumbled on his words. “Can I have more info about this—“

“Hypothetical—“

“—hypothetical situation?”

Mark squinted, blowing raspberries before speaking again. “Like, this girl, just really hates this guy for some reason even though the guy didn’t really do anything. Or at least, not that he remembers.” He sheepishly elaborated, grabbing another square sheet of paper to continue folding.

“Oh, he must’ve done something alright. No one just hates someone for no reason.”

“But he doesn’t remember doing anything bad!”

“It doesn’t have to be something drastic—it can be something so small that really impacted her.” Debbie explained. “We’ve all disliked a person for the pettiest of reasons that doesn’t really make sense. Something that was so unmemorable to you was so memorable to her, it happens.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, okay, but—wait me? This, this isn’t about me, mom.” He caught her words, his cheeks warming. “It’s a hypothetical question for someone I know at school. Not, pfft, not for me.”

“Sure.” Debbie nodded, a sly smile on her lips. “Not for you.”

“Mhm. Anyway, what do you think the guy should do to get the girl to not, y’know, hate him?” He brought a hand to rub the back of his neck, scratching his nape awkwardly as he inquired.

“Spend a lot of time with her. Even if you have to force some situations.”

“Spend... time with her?” Mark deadpanned; the solution she provided sounded too simple to work. 

Debbie nodded, already seeing the gears turning in his head as he ingested her words. “Just find ways to be constantly around her. Show her you aren’t as bad as a guy that she thought you were from whatever mistake you did.”

Mark hesitated for a moment before speaking, thinking long and hard about the simple wisdom his mom had bestowed on him.

Suddenly, he stood up, knocking his chair backwards as he ran over to the staircase. “Thanks mom! That really, really helps actually!” He smiled, stepping on the stairs. He halted, popping his head around the corner. “But again, the hypothetical situation wasn’t for me—it’s for someone I know from school.”

"Sure it is, I'll believe that when pigs fly!" Debbie sang, wiggling her brows at her son that had a deep flush spread through his face.

"Nice talk, mom!" Mark waved a dismissive hand, running up the stairs to his room.

Argh, it isn’t hard! … Just send it… Send it!

Mark internally screamed at himself; his eyes glued on his phone that was laid flat on its back on the comfort of his bed.

He had been going on a cycle of pacing around the room and staring intently at his phone screen trying to convince himself that sending a message to you wasn’t going to be the end of the world.

But honestly—it might. What if you decide to block him because his first message was weird? Sure, he worked hard on it, but he worked hard on a lot of things yet still screwed it up!

He dug his fingers in his scalp, kneeling in front of the open phone screen that had a chatroom open. The profile picture of the letter of your first name was taunting him, Mark imagining it was sticking its tongue out with how stupid he looked for the past forty-five minutes.

The Vasian had already typed out the message he wanted to send, picking the best one from his notes app. Now, if only he had the strength to just—push the send button!

Mark thought to consult William about this, but he would never live it down. His best friend didn’t need a reason to actually believe that he was into “getting off” at mean girls.

Not that he would ever get off to you in a million years! That would be disrespectful—and indecent! You didn’t deserve to be only used as some sort of finishing material!

Mark Grayson groaned, “Aaahh, what am I thinking?!” He jumped on his best, his phone bouncing. His thoughts suddenly shifted to masturbation rather than sending a text message to kick start his plan—those two didn’t correlate at all!

From his mom’s simple words of wisdom, he realized that she was right.

If he were to force you two to hang out with each other so frequently, you would start not hating him because of how you’ll realize he was a perfect friend for you!

You wouldn’t hate him anymore! Whatever he did to make you hate him so much just—poof! Gone!

… But how is he supposed to make that happen when he can’t even pass the first step of his plan?!

Mark bit his lip, staring up at his ceiling as he fished for his phone that he jumped next to. His fingers grazed over the open screen, accidentally hitting some letters on the keyboard as he tried to grasp for his electronic.

Ping!

His heart froze, the familiar sound of a message sending sounding next to him.

He scrambled to sit up, making his neatly folded bed a mess as he accidentally knocked down one of his pillows to the floor.

He shakily brought his phone to his eyesight, trembling as he saw what he had just done.

Mark Grayson Hey👋🏻 It’s Mark Grayson. You gave me your phone number at the mall 3 days ago. I have the photos of Invincible if you want to take a look 😄 I’ve been busy so forgot to show you😅 z zsl ᴰᵉˡᶦᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

“Z-Z-S-L?” He read his mistype out loud when his fingers accidentally brushed up against his keyboard. “Who sends Z-Z-S-L?! That wasn’t supposed to be there!” He shouted, embarrassment overriding his entire nervous system.

Should I delete it? No, it’ll only delete on my end—not hers! Fuck, fuck, fuck—

Mark Grayson Hey👋🏻 It’s Mark Grayson. You gave me your phone number at the mall 3 days ago. I have the photos of Invincible if you wanna take a look 😄 I’ve been busy, so forgot to show you😅 z zsl ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

(Y/N) (L/N) oh

(Y/N) (L/N) thats ok ig

(Y/N) (L/N) lemme see

Mark's phone had immediately buzzed three times in only one second after he sent that message, his eyes in shock that you replied so fast. He had expected to wait for a few hours for hours to receive a response, but that seemed to be not the case.

He swallowed thickly, nervous but happy that he got your attention.

Mark Grayson Okay👍🏻 Sending them now🙃 ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

Mark Grayson [5 photo attachments] ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

Mark had only sent you a third of the pictures he had taken today, making sure to choose the best ones.

His back was up against the wall as he had his phone only centimeters away from his face, not blinking so that he would read your reaction the millisecond it seconds.

He subconsciously held his breath, the minutes ticking by so slowly. If he wasn't half viltrumite, he would've probably passed out with how long he was holding his breath for.

(Y/N) (L/N) jsjdjsskk

(Y/N) (L/N) my brain short circuited wtf

(Y/N) (L/N) im legit creaming my pants

(Y/N) (L/N) n u took those ?? thank GOD ur smooth brain didnt mess up those glorious pics

(Y/N) (L/N) hes so fineeeeeeee

Relief crashed over him, his tense muscles relaxing as he let out a giddy laugh. He rolled to his side, his smile reaching his ears as he took a moment to reread your text messages.

Even through text, you were endearing, and it seemed like you were more softer. While you still called him stupid, it was definitely less explosive if you were physically in front of him.

God, he was so happy you liked them.

Mark Grayson Do you believe me that I'm also an Invincible fan now?😁 ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

(Y/N) (L/N) idk wouldnt u like to know weather boy

Mark Grayson ? ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

(Y/N) (L/N) but actually good job n the pics, theyre so up close n personal

(Y/N) (L/N) thx

Mark let out an unimaginable squeal. It sounded inhuman—had he always been able to make a noise like that!? Was it possible to feel this happy and overjoyed over just a few pixels?

He hurriedly replied with a thank you, trying to come off like your small praise towards him wasn't a big deal to him. Which it totally was, but you didn't need to know that.

Mark Grayson Do you want to hangout after school? 🤔 ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

(Y/N) (L/N) tf hell no

(Y/N) (L/N) why would i willingly choose to be seen in public with u

(Y/N) (L/N) i already gave to charity n that was 3 days ago

Mark Grayson Not even if I have more Invincible stuff to show you? 😄 ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

(Y/N) (L/N)keys

Mark Grayson raised his brow. "Keys?" He whispered, tilting his head in confusion.

(Y/N) (L/N) fine wtv, but ur getting in my car so i can swerve in a nearby tree if i have to

(Y/N) (L/N) i know u dont get bitches so its a new experience but

(Y/N) (L/N) dont drool in my car ok creep

(Y/N) (L/N) i'll bill u the cleaning fee if u do

Mark Grayson I won't do that I promise ᴿᵉᵃᵈ

Mark Grayson I'll see you at school tomorrow then! 😊 ᴰᵉˡᶦᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

Mark Grayson Where do you want to go after school? ᴰᵉˡᶦᵛᵉʳᵉᵈ

The read receipts suddenly turned into delivered, and he pursued his lips in disappointment. Though, his spirits lifted as he reminded himself that he got to successfully get you to hang out with him after school!

While the details of where you guys would be going will be fuzzy since you didn't reply, Mark still took it as a victory!

... Now, he just needs to figure out what Invincible stuff to you show you since he promised it. It couldn't be just more pictures; it had to be something more than that.

Mark sighed—at least he had 24 hours to figure it out.

keys = kill yourself

How I feel updating this fic after a month has passed:

Tag List for All Works: @calicocat-ina-tuxedo

[theliving-radio]

Sorry If this one is too confusing 😭 

So basically NRC (maybe Ortho too but platonic love) with a s/o that got turned into a cat by a potion mix-up, not naming names Grim and Adeuce 👀 (also, maybe reader could be like a maine coon? Idk but I love the idea of reader was a cat they would be bigger than grim but any cat is cute 😖) but the twist is that s/o is not a normal cat, but actually a flerken (If you don't know what that is, it's basically a space cat from marvel) So when Idia is petting them too aggressive or Floyd is squeezing them too tightly or if anyone is annoying them, they just open their mouth and swallow them up like a fckin snack, and maybe spit them back out when they're in a good mood leaving them so fckin traumatized. And the people witnessing it are like 🧍

I know about the Flerken! I used to be such a huge ass Marvel fan so many years ago! I fell off the band wagon right after Avengers: End Game. I even have an old fanfic posted on Wattpad for Marvel… I… haven’t worked on it in such a long time…

Please don’t attack me lol

Anyway, instead of just every character at once, I did every dorms reaction. Just to add some spice and fun to the mix!

And for the funnies

Warning: human consumption (but not gory or bloody. Just pocket dimension stuff), not part of the Big Brother Malleus writing, can be romantic or platonic (Ortho is clearly platonic)

And I do apologize for taking so long on writing this! Get distracted really easily.

Like REALLY easily. Anyway I hope you enjoy it!

“… Oops?”

Grim had no idea how it happened. He didn’t! You couldn’t possibly blame him for accidentally mixing up your drink with the potion assignment he was supposed to turn in!

But here you guys were, back in Ramshackle. Him looking up at your now fluffy fur body.

Cat.

You were now a cat.

“Listen, I can fix this!”

“Mrep…”

“Don’t doubt me hench… cat?”

Your cat self rolled its eyes and stood up on all fours. Before Grim was able to say anything, you picked him up by the scruff of his neck with your mouth and trotted out of Ramshackle.

The scene looked like a mother cat dragging away her baby kitten.

“MRAH! Let me go! I command it!”

You ignored him and went straight to the mirror chamber, hoping that one of your friends in the dorms will help you.

Heartslabyul

Ace and Deuce started losing their shit as soon as they saw Grim being dragged by a larger cat in the Heartslabyul garden.

“Grim, Who’s the fluffy one?” Deuce covers his mouth to hide his smile.

“Did you finally find your parent figure?” Ace teased.

“CAN IT, ACE!” You plop Grim down and trot over to Deuce who bent down to give you scratches.

Grim dusts himself off, grumbling under his breath. “I could have walked just fine! You didn’t have to drag me all the way here!”

You ignored Grim as you happily laid down in the grass and rolled over. Deuce’s eyes practically sparkled when you presented your belly to him, and he carefully rubbed it, making you purr happily.

“Mrah! Henchmen! Stop being difficult!” Grim shouted, his words causing Deuce to stop giving you pets and Ace to let out a strangled wheeze.

“P-prefect!?”

“Oh Sevens! What did you do this time!?” Ace crouches a bit as he begins laughing once again.

Grim crosses his arms and looks away. “I didn’t do anything! It was… it was them! They shouldn’t leave their stuff around in the first place!”

Offended! Scandalized! Wrong!

You picked yourself up from the grass and walked over to Grim…

Then swatted him.

“MRAH!?” Grim lets out a startled sound as he rubs his head. Before he was able to ask why you did that, you swatted him again. And again. And again.

Ace was on the grass floor laughing his ass off. It was like watching a cat hitting their child if they misbehaved.

“I would assume you’re finished painting the roses.” Ace stops his laughing and looks over to see Riddle, Cater, and Trey walking over. Riddle squints his eyes at the roses, seeing some of them still white and untouched by the crimson red paint.

“D-dorm Leader Riddle! We uh- we actually have a good reason why we aren’t finished!” Deuce tries to explain as he picks you up and shows you to the three upper class-men.

Cater gasps as he takes his phone out, quickly snapping photos of your fluffy figure. You only blinked at him and tilted your head, causing the ginger to squeal. “Oh my Sevens! They are totes adorbs!”

“A cat?! Why is there a cat here?” Riddle asks, his face showing confusion before he lets out a gasp. “The Hedgehogs! Are the hedgehog’s safe?! Did this cat do something!?”

“I’ll go check on them right now-!”

“There is no need to do that!” Deuce cuts Trey off. “This is the Prefect!”

There was a long pause between all the Heartslabyul students. The Three upper class-men processing what the first year just said. Riddle stares at Deuce and Ace before opening his mouth. “… what did you two do?”

Deuce sputters and Ace quickly looked offended. “We didn’t do anything! Grim was the one that did this!”

“Mew.” You let out a small meow and Cater broke out from his shock and started rapidly taking pictures once again.

Riddle groans as he takes a deep breath. Inhale, exhale… he didn’t want to blow his head off in front of the Prefect after all. “Grim, explain to me… what you gave the Prefect.”

“How am I supposed to know?! It’s their fault their water bottle and the potion bottle looked the same!”

“What was the potion you made?” Grim went quiet when Riddle asked the question. The dire-beast mumbles something under his breath and Riddle’s eye twitches. “Repeat that again.”

“It was supposed to be a Sleepy time potion! To help the drinker sleep better!”

“HOW DID YOU FULLY MESS THAT UP?!” Riddle full on shouts at Grim, causing the poor, small feline cat to flinch. “A Sleep potion? You messed up a SLEEP potion???”

“Riddle-,” Trey tries to calm Riddle down, but Riddle fully ignores him.

“In what universe could you possibly mix up a Sleep potion for a transfiguration potion?! And you didn’t even bother to check what you brought first before handing it to the Prefect?!”

Riddle continues going off on Grim, scolding him nonstop.

It was too noisy.

Your maw opens, an eldritch presence unnoticed by the others in the room, solely focused on Riddle. A single pink, flesh like tendril lulls out.

Targeting Riddle.

Nobody was able to progress what happened, it went by so fast. One second Riddle was standing right between Cater and Trey, the next he was gone. All they were able to see was a flash of… something… coming from you.

Deuce was the first one to snap out of it and let out a scream, dropping you in the process. Thank Sevens for cat-like reflexes! You landed perfectly on all hours and grabbed ahold of Grim once again, and bolted out of the Heartslabyul dorm.

Trey blinks at where Riddle was once standing, then the universe snaps him out of it. “W-wait! Hold on!”

“Suddenly… Prefect isn’t as cute as a cat anymore.” Cater spoke up as he watched Trey sprint towards the direction where you left.

“Would they even be considered a cat after what we just saw?! What the hell are they?!”

“I was giving them belly rubs this whole time… they could have eaten me too…” Deuce looks at his own hands in horror. Meanwhile Ace was cursing at the sky, and Cater was swiping through his photos he took of you.

Savanaclaw

Leona let out a loud snort when he saw Grim squirming around and getting dragged by a larger, fluffier cat then him. He had to cover his mouth to hide his smirk that threatened to break across his face.

You decided to try your luck in Savanclaw in hopes maybe Leona would help you out. He was in his third year after all!… even though he’s been held back a few times already due to being lazy and not giving a damn. Either way, you hope the lion beat-man can help.

“Prefect! Stop dragging me! You are the henchman, and I am the great mage! I should not have to be treated like this! And what was that from earlier! Why did you eat him?!”

Leona was on his way out to the botanical gardens to nap and get away from his noisy dorm. Now, he is more interested in what the hell is going on.

“Oui, Grim… who’s your new friend? Did you finally get a parent figure to treat your spoiled hind?” Leona couldn’t help tease the dire-beast as he strode over to the two of you.

When you spotted Leona making his way over to you, you casually dropped Grim off. When he was released, Grim immediately ran and hid behind Leona.

“Oui, what do you think you're doing? Get off.”

“No way! I ain’t getting close to the Prefect, after they turned into that… that thing!”

Leona looks over at your new fluffy body…

You were currently grooming one of your paws and rubbing it against one of your kitty ears.

“You turned the Prefect into a harmless house cat?”

“They ain’t a normal house cat! Nor are they harmless!”

As you were cleaning yourself, you felt a hand grab you from the nape of your neck and pulled you up. Leona held you in front of him and sniffed you… just by your scent alone he was able to confirm it was indeed you. But there was also something off with your scent, something unnatural…

“Housewarden Leona!” Leona pulls you away from him and glances over to where the voice came from, noticing Jack and Ruggie making their way over to him. Ruggie was currently eating a donut that Jack offered him just a while ago. He was even going to offer some to Leona.

“Ah, what’s with the fuzz ball?” Ruggie glances over at you and then see’s Grim hiding behind Leona’s leg, taking a bite from his guilty treat. “And what’s got you so spooked?”

“Leona, is that the prefect?” Jack speaks up.

“You smell them too, right? Yeah it’s them. Putting two and two together, I’m guessing Grim messed up some sort of potion.”

“I didn’t mess anything up!” Grim tries to protest as he looks up at Leona.

Ruggie snickers as he goes to take another bite from his donut… he never got the chance.

You lick your chops, eyes focused on the pastry in Ruggie’s possession. He noticed your intent a second too late, unable to protect his treat as you collect it like picking up a mug before swallowing it whole via tentacle.

Everyone went quiet.

You let out a small burp.

“MY DONUT!”

“THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT?!”Jack yells at the Hyena beast-men. “Did you not see what shot out of the Prefect's mouth?!”

“See? See?! I told you!” Grim points his paw at you while looking up at Leona. Meanwhile the Dorm Leader wasn’t sure on what to do in this situation.

Sensing how Leona was unsure what to do, you decided it was time to go.

When you began to approach Grim, he took a step back. “Mrah! You stay away, Henchmen!” Ah, so he was gonna be difficult…

Before Grim was going to protest once more, a single tentacle shoots out of your mouth and grabs him. All three of the Savanaclaw students just watched in horror as you gobbled up Grim.

And went on your merry way.

“… I think I’m just gonna go take a nap in my room.”

“I’m suddenly not hungry anymore…”

“… shouldn’t we go after them?!”

Both Ruggie and Leona walk away from Jack. Not that concerned about what happened, or want to be part of it.

Octavinelle

“Jade?”

“Yes, Azul?”

“Can you explain to me why there is a cat sitting on the lounge bar?”

You sat upon the bar, lounging without a care in the world. When you left Savanaclaw, you hoped that maybe Azul would help out. Unfortunately Jade found you and decided to give you chin scritches.

You really enjoyed those.

Right beside you was a bowl of water and a small plate of cooked mushrooms that Jade really wanted you to try out. He wanted to see if cats could really eat mushrooms. Since you weren’t fully a cat, they should be fine… right?

“I found them in the dorm, they looked so hungry and lost… and I couldn’t just let them be.”

“… so you decided to feed them mushrooms…”

Jade smiles as he watches you sniff your plate before digging in. He’s been watching you eat the Turkey Tail Mushroom for 20 minutes now. This was actually your second plate, and Jade was more than pleased when he saw you scarf down the first.

“These mushrooms better not be harmful! I don’t want a dead animal to scare off our customers.”

“Don’t worry, these types of mushrooms are nonlethal to both dogs and cats.” Jade assures Azul as he gently pets your head, causing you to lean into his touch and purr. Azul only squints his eyes at you, placing his hand on his chin as he comes up with an idea.

“Why don’t we use them to lure in some customers? They seem well behaved.”

Just when you heard Azul say that, you sat up and jerked your body a bit. Azul panics, thinking the worst. “Jade, you said those were nonlethal!” The dorm leader looks at Jade, who looked just as confused as they watched you make coughing sounds and your body jerking.

Then you spit out a large hairball.

A hairball that shouldn’t come out of a cat.

Jade and Azul step back as they just stare in shock as Grim was laying on the lounge's bar face down, covered in saliva.

You went back to eating.

Grim lets out a gasp like he’s been holding his breath the whole time he was inside your dimensional body. He was able to breathe just fine, he didn’t have to be so dramatic.

Drama queen.

“Grim?! What in Sevens?!”

“FIX THEM!”

Grim scrabbles to Azul, only for the Octo-mer to back away from the slimy dire-beast.

“I don’t care if I have to sign a contract! Just fix the Prefect!”

“Oya~? Is that the prefect?” Jade looks in amusement as he watches you finish another plate of mushrooms. Maybe he should have given you something… better to eat.

Azul pushes his glasses up as he glances over to you. Grim didn’t turn you into some type of house cat… no, this was more weird than that.

“Eeh~ What’s with the kitty cat?” Before Azul was able to come up with a good idea to turn you back… and to scam Grim… Floyd walked into the lounge.

You looked over at the eel twin and saw his smile widen as he began to approach you.

Red alert!

Danger!

Activate distraction!

Your body starts jerking again and you cough off something much larger. Something more human like…

Floyd stops in his tracks as he watches you cough up a slime covered Riddle. The poor redhead was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes filled with horror and disbelief.

At least he’s more calm now.

Floyd bursts out laughing as he sees Riddle, the laughter causing him to snap out of it and to finally take in his surroundings. Jade was intrigued by events that were unfolding. Azul stared in horror at the slime that was getting all over the lounge floor, wondering if it would stain at all.

Distraction successful!

You take this as your cue to leave, this time not even bringing Grim with you.

“H-hey! Prefect! Get back here!” Azul chases you as soon as you see an opportunity to escape the Ocavinelle dorm.

As you run, all you hear behind you is Floyd laughing at Riddle's misfortune, and Riddle trying to inform Jade on what’s happening with you.

Scarabia

“Jamil! Jamil, look!”

Jamil was currently finishing up the dishes when he heard Kalim come running into the dorm's kitchen. He lets out a sigh, mentally preparing what Kalim was going to show him. When he turned around to face the dorm leader, it wasn’t as bad as he was expecting it to be.

Kalim was holding you out to Jamil, showing you off to his best friend. You slow-blink at Jamil who only stared at you with indifference. When he looks up at Kalim, he just expresses how unimpressed he was.

“I found this cat trying to get into the dorm!”

“… and you just let them in?”

“They might be hungry and are trying to look for food!” Kalim smiles as he changes his position on holding you, now cradling you in his arms.

You weren’t hungry after your mushroom meal, but you were thirsty. Thankfully, Jamil was able to pick up on that and began to prepare of bowl of water for you. Right as he laid it out for you, Kamil was more than happy to put you down right in front of the bowl.

“Can we keep them?”

“Kalim, you don’t need a pet cat. And it would be a terrible idea to keep them in the dorm. Look how thick their fur is, they would overheat, I wouldn't be too surprised if you hadn’t found them, they would have blacked out.”

Jamil's words caused Kalim to deflate just a bit, but he was able to bounce back up. “What if we find them a new home? That way they would be taken care of and be comfortable!”

Jamil already felt a headache starting to form.

In the corner vision, you see something scitter across the kitchen counter. You lick your lips as you pick your head up the water bowl and zeroed in on the small bug…

It was a harmless beetle.

But you knew for a fact that Jamil wouldn’t think so.

When the vice house warden saw your attention drawn away from the water, he looked at what you were staring at… only to tense up when he saw the beetle.

“Kalim…”

“I see it! Don’t worry, I got it!” Kalim was more than happy to help. The sweet sunshine child went to grab a napkin and a glass cup. When Kalim retrieved his items, he turned towards the beetle and slowly began to approach the counter.

But this wasn’t just any type of beetle.

This bitch had wings.

As soon as Kalim made his first step, the thing spread its wings out and started to take off. The house warden let out a startled yelp, and Jamil was ready to scream bloody murder as he grabbed his magic pen.

As much as you would have loved to enjoy this little chaotic show, you didn’t want to be in the crossfire between Jamil and his magic.

Before any spells were casted, you opened your mouth and a large tendril slipped out and grabbed hold of the beetle, and just as quickly… you drew it back in and swallowed the thing.

Like a frog.

Both Kalim and Jamil stared down at you; the silence in the room felt loud.

“Oh! Thank you very much!” Kalim put down his items and picked you up, raising you above his head and spun around. “You wanted to help, didn’t you? That’s so sweet!”

“Kalim! That’s not an ordinary cat! Did you not see what just happen?!”

“I’m gonna name you Froggy!”

You only let out a small burp as Kalim gave you your new name, swaying you side to side.

Jamil was starting to feel that headache. Just when he was about to protest about Kalim keeping the ‘cat’ again, a familiar voice made its way into the Scarabia kitchen.

“Ah, te voilà, trickster!” Rook walks in the kitchen with ease as he strode over to Kalim who was still holding you. Kalim beams as he sees the Pomefiore Vice house warden. “Rook! What a surprise!”

Jamil took you from Kalim and presented you to Rook. “I’m guessing you're here for… this… please take them away from here.”

“Oh, why thank you! Word has spread that the Prefect has turned into an alien-like cat, and I thought it was a perfect opportunity to take them to Roi du Poison.”

“THAT’S THE PREFECT?!” Jamil yells as his headache comes in at full force.

“Oui! I must go now! So thank you!” Rook doesn’t explain anything else as he whisks you away from Scarabia.

Kalim and Jamil just stand there in the kitchen, processing the quick retreat the vice Housewarden of Pomefiore made.

Jamil rubs his temples “ … I’m going to my room and taking a nap.”

“Ah, I’ll get the washcloth.”

Pomefiore

“CUT!”

Vil’s sharp voice echoes throughout the courtyard, making everyone in the Film Club stop what they were doing.

The Film Club was currently doing a short sci-fi horror scene. Vil wanted to give himself and his club members a challenge since sci-fi and horror isn’t their usual go to genre for filming. Thankfully, Ortho and Epel are helpful for stirring them in the correct direction.

“We’ve filmed this scene over and over… yet I feel like something is lacking in this… alien…”

Everyone looks over at one of the actors who was dressed up like a snake-mix-octopus-mix-crocodile.

The actor only gave Vil a little wiggle with his costume.

“Your acting is good, but the costume… I feel like I’m looking at a child's drawing come to life. Where did we get this costume again?”

“This was actually hand made…”

“So it is a child’s drawing come to life… truly a nightmare,” Vil lets out a sigh as he walks over to Ortho to go over the footage they captured. Epel was sitting off to the side to watch how everything was going.

“Roi du Poison!” Members of the Film Club looked over to see Rook. He was practically skipping over to Vil while holding a super fluffy cat. “I have found you an alien!”

Vil blanks as Rook presented you to him. You couldn’t help but slowly blink at Vil and meow at him. He didn’t look all that impressed by seeing you.

“This is a cat, Rook.”

“Oui!”

“Why, in the sevens, would this be an alien? It just looks like an ordinary cat you would find off the street.”

You were more than just a street cat!

Rook was already sensing you wanted to show off that you weren’t just some simple cat, so he took an apple out from under his hat.

Vil was ready to question him before Rook tossed it in the air.

You zeroed in on the fruit and opened your mouth, allowing the tentacle to zip out and take a hold on the apple, and bring it back to you. Students in the Film Club let out a scream as they witnessed the slimy appendage come out of your mouth. Vil didn’t really respond, but he begins to think on how to put you in the movie now.

“House Warden Vil! You have to let them in the short film!” Epel shouts enthusiastically.

“Are they trained?”

“Even better! It's actually the Prefect!” Rook smiles as he announces it was really you.

You nod to confirm it was, and that you understood what was going on.

Vil smiles as he claps his hands together, pleased with the new addition to his short film.

And that’s how you got to be the alien in Vils New Short Film. At first the Club members were a bit weary, but upon learning that you were the Ramshackle Prefect, they fully accepted you instead of just some weird cat Rook found.

Ortho kept staring at you in pure awe when the actors went to the scene to reveal the part of the alien. You let out a hiss and revealed the bunches of tentacles and tendrils, just a cluster of horrors.

Every moment when filming was over, Ortho kept doing scans over your new body. The results he kept getting back were quite curious.

You didn’t turn into an ordinary cat. And Ortho was intrigued by this, even going as far as to send his brother the scans and data he was collecting.

One of the scenes that the club needed to capture was when one of the characters gets taken away from the alien. And you happily delivered it.

By gobbling up your fellow Night Raven Classmate.

Members from the club screamed in horror from behind the scenes as they watched the poor victim be taken away in one gulp. Vil had absolutely no words to say as he watched you target the next sad victim.

“Rook, you mentioned to me offhand that they’ll be ok, right?”

“Oui! The Prefect has taken both Roi de Roses and Monsieur Fuzzball and spit them out in safe conditions!”

Vil raised an eyebrow as he stared at his vice Housewarden, “Define, in your words… ‘Safe conditions’.”

Just when Rook was going to answer Vil, you came padding along.

Then you coughed up the club members.

Both actors just laid there on the ground, looking absolutely wrecked. Meanwhile you just started cleaning yourself.

The Pomefiore Housewarden looked at his own club members with absolute disgust seeing them covered in questionable slime and saliva. “Both of you, shower… Now!” That seemed to have snapped the two members out of their small daze as they scrambled to get up and head to their dorms to freshen up.

“Vil Schoenheit,” Both Vil and Rook turn to see Ortho hovering towards them. “If it’s ok with you, after doing today's scenes, can I take the Prefect? I’ve been doing scans and collecting data on them. I got a message from Idia and he wants to check on them.”

“Well, Idia is more then welcome to have them. We are done for today anyway.” Vil glances over to you.

You were innocently laying on your back waiting for your next victim to pet your tum tum.

“The shots we’ve collected are better than I expected them to be. Prefect,” you pick your head up and look at Vil. “You did fantastic today.”

You slowly blink at him and begin to purr.

Ortho giggles as he moves over to you and gently picks you up. “Come on, Prefect, I’m going to take you to big brother. He’s quite curious about what you turned into… and he wants to play with you.”

You let out a small mew as you let Ortho float away with you. Vil waved Ortho goodbye as he looked over the footage, pleased with the results they got.

Ignihyde

“Wehehehe~ Prefect you have such soft toe beans~” Idia happily let you sit in his lap as he played with your tiny cat paws, he was even taking photos of you from all angles. You didn’t mind, you just sat there peacefully with your eyes closed and your tongue sticking out just a bit.

Ortho giggles as he secretly records his brother playing with you. It was too cute! Plus, their mom has been asking how Idia has been doing, and Idia has been dodging her questioning and all that. Now, Ortho can have something to send to her.

“The Prefect seems to be enjoying themselves, brother! It’s said that cats stick their tongue out when they want to be playful or are relaxed.” Ortho casually mentions the fact as he does another scan over your body. He floats over to Idia and shows him the x-ray scan of your body.

“There’s… no bones.”

“And I don’t seen a stomach anywhere, though I am detecting lots of tunnels reaching to different places.”

“Pocket dimensions,” Idia picks you up, holding you from under your front arms. “Wehehe~ you're an ultra find, Prefect. Like an SSR+ find!” Idia gets off his bed and places you in his gamer chair.

You blink at him with your tongue still out as you relax fully into the soft leather. You watch as Idia taps a few times on his hologram keyboard, pulling up photos from your acting scenes and the x-ray scans Ortho took.

“You can still understand what I’m saying, right? You didn’t turn into just a kitty cat with a smooth brain, right?”

You huff at that and fully sit up, meowing at Idia and flicking your paw at him as if saying “get on with whatever you're gonna say”.

“Perfect. Now, I’m gonna show you what you are… because you look like a cute kitty cat, but that’s your character armor. What you really are-,” Idia motions to his monitor, showing the x-rays. “-is a fleshy alien thing that looks like a large parasite crammed into your cat-like body.”

You stare at the X-ray certain of yourself. It should be concerning really, because how the hell did you turn into that thing? Just a few hours ago you were human, and now you're some type of… alien? Parasite?

Either way you look sick as fuck.

“You don’t seem to be that freaked out,” Ortho floats over to you.

To show you weren’t that troubled by it, you opened your mouth and let out a collage of tentacles. One shoots out to grab Idia’s opened bag of chips, causing the older Shroud to yelp. You bring it back to your mouth and fully consume it, spitting the plastic bag out when you were done with it.

“… make yourself at home I guess.”

“Ah! So you do have a stomach! I can see you digesting the chips!” Ortho exclaimed excitedly.

Ortho sends the X-ray video of you digesting the chips to Idia, making it pop up on one of the monitors. You watched with curiosity. Some would find it disgusting but for you- you just thought it was interesting seeing how your new body functioned.

“Now, I hope you don’t mind if we can do some tests on you, Prefect.” Idia begins putting on his lab gear, carefully watching your reaction.

Ok. Sure. Running some tests wasn't that big of a deal. You weren’t in a rush at the moment, and you were curious about what you are.

That all changed when you saw something that looked like a needle.

Before you had time to back away, Ortho picked you up. And you started yowling, trying to get out of his hold.

“Ah! Prefect, what’s wrong?” Idia turns to see his younger brother struggling to hold you, clearly confused on what got you all fussy.

“Ortho! What happened?!”

“I don't know! They just started acting up!”

Using the wonderful power of cat physics, you're able to escape from the younger Shroud’s hold. Your first instinct was to head towards the door… unfortunately it was closed and you didn’t know how to open doors with your toe beans.

Idia slowly approaches you from behind as you try to find another escape route. Idia then takes the chance to dive down to get you, but you dodge him and begin to scurry around the room. You run from one side to the other, hopping on Idia’s bed and then to his shelf with his Action figures.

“Prefect! You're gonna get hurt!”

“MREOW!” You run across the shelf, knocking down the figurines and making Idia freak out.

“NO! Those are limited edition!” You didn’t listen to Idia’s screams as you practically knocked off every single one of his figurines. You look around trying to find a way out of his room, and that’s when you saw it-

The vent!

A tentacle shoots out from your mouth as you rip the grate off the ceiling. You cast the grate in the general direction of Idia, hearing the sound of what remains of the merchandise fall to the floor. And Idia loud pitch shriek.

You hop onto another shelf and use another tentacle to give you leverage as you swing yourself into the vent. You left Idia and Ortho alone in the room.

Take that! No needles today!

Idia just looks at the mess on his floor, not really sure where to start. Ortho just floats over and pats him on the shoulder, knowing that his older brother was mourning the loss of several of his collectibles.

Diasomnia

When you were able to escape from Idia’s clutches, you immediately went to Diasomnia.

This should have been your first pick! Horton would be happy to help you!

When you entered through the mirror you went straight to the dorm lounge room, ignoring students in the process as they stopped to stare at the fluffy cat walking the halls. Some even tried to pet you or greet you, but you were on a mission!

Being this alien cat was all fun but now, it’s best to go back to living life like a normal human.

“Strange, what’s a cat doing here?” You were ready to ignore the student like you did the others, but this one was quick enough to pick you up.

You were ready to swat at them but stopped when you recognized them. Sebek held you from under your arms as he scrutinized you. “How did you get into Diasomnia?” He asks, and all you do is meow at him.

“No matter! I heard earlier that Master Lilia and Waka-sama were looking for a fluffy cat. Perhaps they were referring to you.”

“Mrew.” Yes! Take me to Horton!

Sebek positions you into a better way where he cradles you into his arms. You start purring immediately, which causes Sebek to stutter. “C-cease your purring! I’m just taking you to Waka-sama and then I'm putting you down!”

No complaints there!

Sebek begins to walk you over to the dorm's lounge room. And you couldn’t help yourself so you started batting at his tie. A few times Sebek scolds you, but doesn't have the heart to stop you.

Oh he would lose his head if he learned it was you, the prefect.

“Ah! Sebek, my boy! You're back, and it seems like you brought a friend!” You perk up hearing Lilia’s voice.

You see Lilia and Malleus sitting on the couch in the lounge, Silver pouring them tea and himself a cup as well. Lilia’s eye practically sparkled when he saw you, vibrating on the spot with excitement.

Oh no.

He knows.

“So you found the Prefect, good work Sebek.” Malleus praises Sebek as he takes a sip of his tea.

Sebek though stopped in his tracks. He was happy to be praised by his young master! But learning that it was you that he was cradling this whole time…

He drops you without thinking.

Silver was ready to take his pen out and have you land safely on the ground, but you landed perfectly fine on all fours.

Thanks to your cat-like reflexes.

“P-prefect?! Why didn’t you say anything?!” Sebek yelled at you. You only give him a glare and start batting at his foot, basically telling him you weren’t happy for the fact he dropped you!

Lilia starts cackling watching the exchange between the two of you. When you were done with fighting Sebek’s shoe, you began your walk over to the couch where everyone seemed to be resting and hop on the coffee table.

You don’t stay there for long until Lilia scoops you in his arms, twirling you around like Kalim did. “Ah! You're just so cute now, Prefect!”

Is he saying you weren’t before?

In response to that, you place your paw on his nose, causing Lilia to laugh more. Malleus hums as he watches, Silver on the other hand was starting to doze off after he took one sip from his tea.

“How long has it been since you transformed, child of man?” Malleus asked as he placed his own teacup and saucer on the coffee table.

You try thinking about how long it’s been. It had to be no more than several hours, right? Then again, you did notice how it was getting darker in the Diasomnia dorm. Didn’t you drink that potion this morning???

“Based on your silence, it’s been a whole day.” Lilia nods to his own conclusion as you try wiggling out of his hold.

A whole day?! Nope! You gotta change NOW!

“Fear not my dear friend,” Malleus gets up from his place from the couch and makes it way over to you and Lilia. Lilia smiles as he holds you out to Malleus.

“Meow?”

“As cute as you are in this form, I would prefer to have my best friend back to normal.” And with that said Malleus places his hand on your head, letting a bright green light come from his hand.

In a blink of an eye, you turn back to normal…

With Lilia still holding you up by under your arms.

“I like to be put down now…”

“Aw, but I’m still having fun!” You let out a shriek as Lilia spins you once again. Malleus couldn’t help but let out a laugh as he watched the two of you.

Silver was fully asleep now, and Sebek only stared at his hands in horror.

“I was cradling them the whole time in their cat form…”

“Were they ever truly a cat though?” Sebek whipped his head to look at Silver who spoke in his sleep.

Nobody truly understood what you were. What you turned into it.

All they hope is that it never happens again…

“Oh gods, my stomach…” you were back in Ramshackle, laying in your bed and holding your stomach. You were feeling such immense pain after leaving Diasomnia. You did eat a lot of things today in that other form, and spitting stuff out as well.

Grim was currently pouring you a glass of Bubble Soda, and set down some crackers by your nightstand… not without swiping some first. “Mrah, Silver told me this would help you with your tummy ache. How you should still eat something along with the medication he gave.” Grim hands you the packet he got from second year.

God bless Silver. Lilia did cook horrible meals, so it made sense Silver would have these on hand.

You thanked Grim as you popped a pill into your mouth and slowly drank the soda Grim messily poured.

He tried.

“I’m really sorry about today… it’s my fault you turned into some weird cat thing…” Grim apologized awkwardly as he sat at the edge of your bed.

You let out a huff and grab the dire beast by the scruff of his neck, making him yelp in surprise as you wrap your arms around him.

“I forgive you, Grim. Don’t sweat it that much, ok? You didn’t know, and you made a mistake, it happens! So don’t beat yourself over it.”

Grim whines from your hug but lets you awayway, wrapping his paws around your neck to hug you back. You also promised yourself that night that you were going to double check everything before you consume it.

Can’t have you turning into an alien cat thing again…

Unless to torture Crowley, then you would be down to do that.

[hungharrington]

hello tumblr user hungharrington!

happy early birthday and congrats on the 3k!

so this is either fuck, marry, kiss or a ranking prompt but i've got three 'pranks' i'd pull on steve and would like to know your opinions on them:

calling him 'steve' (his actual name that 99% of the population call him) instead of 'love', 'honey', 'baby', 'sweetheart', 'handsome', etc (I bet that guy would just frown and be all like 'who the fuck is steve?')

texting him something nsfw when you're in public >:)

calling him your husband out of nowhere (when he's still your boyfriend). like you know those videos when a couple are at a drive thru and the girl goes 'and my husband would like...' and the boyfriend is all like (°〇°) ♡ (≧◡≦) ♡

hello anon in my inbox!! thank u so much, have a mwah from me <3

i see you've bought a delectable array of things to choose from... and i love it because you've actually already delivered them in perfect fmk boxes bae...

marry: why of course it has to be dropping the husband title on steve, whether unwittingly or not :D like cmonnnn, imagine if it was by accident? you've been together long enough that it's definitely begun to be a persistent want, it's something you've thought about a lot. maybe the two of you are wandering department stores together, shopping for your new place, and talking to a sales assistant and it just slips out, "oh no, my husband doesn't like--" and steve makes a choked noise that quickly devolves into a coughing fit, enough the assistant has to leave you be for a moment as you're like ??? what is happening right now, but between wheezes steve's like, "you—said—husband," but he's also grinning and pink in the face and so so so happy, more so when you fluster at the slip of the tongue. he never lets it go — until of course, it becomes a reality

fuck: sending him something nsfw when you're in public ofc >:) i love the idea of it being like, this man will make you leave any party early if he gets an inkling from you, he's not wasting any chances - so even a suggestive text will do it, send off a i miss you text, followed by and your hands, then, and your tongue — steve will somehow materialise by your side, eyes wide and eager, already like "do you wanna go? i feel like we should go," already nodding, pulling you to the door by the hand hehehe. but if you send a picture, say of yourself in the bathroom of said party, a tad scandalous even — well, you just don't leave the party :) or the bathroom for maybe 30 minutes :)

kiss: calling him his first name instead of every other pet name under the sun hehe. this one is like... i like his name :( like the idea of calling him steve or stevie, i would never be able to stop and switch to the gooey names totally. but i love the idea of like... if you're having a tender moment, maybe cuddled up together on the couch, steve tucked against you and him being the one to rest his head on your shoulder while you play with his hair — you're just idly murmuring but also trying to make plans, asking "what do you think, handsome?" from time to time, to which steve just hums in agreement. after the third question, you realise he's not really paying attention and you have know the name will catch his attention, this time asking, "how's that sound, steve?" and then he's straightening up, already frowning with a pout and you're laughing because you got him: hook, line, and sinker, ready for a kiss

[kesujo]

I got to ask, would OT9 SNSD sleep with men younger than them?

Hmm...

(ALSO SORRY THIS IS LATE I WANTED TO PUT SOME EFFORT INTO THIS 😭)

EDIT: added Jessica. SORRY, FORGOT TO MENTION HER :'C

Taeyeon

So Taeyeon has sorta proved that she's willing to go younger, but also, Taeyeon has 182349014810% dommy mommy energy tbh. Like...

...yeah...

That's the face she gives you before she rides you for the entire night and drains you completely dry. Ma'am. Respectfully. Or, actually, disrespectfully. To me. Please disrespect m--

I mean.

...

:)

BUT ANYWAYS, Taeyeon's a switch in my headcanon; she doesn't mind being sub, but if she learns that she's older than you, esp. if the age gap is like, >3years, then she'll use that to her full advantage. She gets off work at 12am and calls you, and despite being asleep, the special ringtone she has set for herself on your phone wakes you up, and when you pick up, groggy and barely awake, Taeyeon demands that you come over to her house, now. You try to protest, citing the time, but she just sends you one picture of two of her digits knuckle-deep inside her pussy, along with the caption, "this could be your dick right now", and you jump out of bed and are tripping over yourself to get out the door. And when you get there, Taeyeon makes sure to make it worth your while and spoil you like the good mommy she is.

😌

Sunny

So, Sunny has long expressed a disinterest in romantic relationships, but I guess that doesn't exclude sexual relationships. I feel like Sunny wouldn't care too much about age, as long as it's not like, too much...?

But someone who can look like that isn't someone who would limit herself to just older guys, I feel. I could see her sorta liking having a puppy-like guy scrambling to worship her.

Jessica

Out of all of SNSD OT9, Jessica gives off the 'rich girl' vibes the most. She also rocks that look tbf

Idk if I'm stereotyping too hard, but it also gives me the impression that Jessica also tends towards older men - also, pretty sure she's still with Tyler Kwon, who's older than her?

BUT, I feel like if the younger man sorta gives off like, mature-beyond-his-years kinda vibes, I feel like Jessica might fw that. But like, damn. Sica sorta packin, huh. That Tyler guy has it good.

Tiffany

Honestly, I feel like Tiffany wouldn't want younger guys. I feel like she's the type of woman who absolutely does not want to feel like she's taking care of her partner. HOWEVER, if it's just sexual, then...?

^Tiffany sends this over to you with a message like "feeling kinda bored ... kinda empty ... if you know what I mean ;)" ... :dumjj:*47123984172459

TIFFANY IS CHRISTIAN THOUGH. So I feel like she wouldn't really partake in casual sex that much? Maybe she'd make exceptions, but I feel like Tiffany is the type of woman who wants to be exclusive to her man and doesn't really like the idea of sleeping around, or even sleeping with someone she doesn't feel she's exclusive with, so I sorta doubt there'd be many men who can get Tiffany to make himself an exception for her.

Hyoyeon

Sweet, innocent Hyoyeon. I think the order of introverted-ness goes Sunny/Taeyeon > Hyoyeon? Honestly, I sorta initially thought Hyoyeon would be an extrovert when I learned she liked going clubbing and whatnot, but I guess that doesn't always mean they're extroverts.

I can imagine Hyoyeon not really being the type to ask for the man's age and gets right into it, while I can imagine Taeyeon/Sunny might want to know if they're older so they know if they have, like, 'permission' to act as the noona. Although, tbh, even if Taeyeon was younger than me, I'd still call her mommy.

Yuri

I feel like it's hard to tell with Yuri ... I feel like she, like Hyoyeon, might not be the type to really ask about the age, or in fact may even tell the man to not tell her his age?

Def. seems like the type to want to just get on with it. No fluff or casual conversation, just, "come on already, tear off my panties and fuck me until I can't walk tomorrow".

:dumjj:

Sooyoung

Well, Sooyoung's been in a relationship for ... how long? 12 years? And her boyfriend is older than her, soo I'd say that it's pretty clear indication that, at least, Sooyoung does seem to prefer older men. Sooyoung seems like a very dedicated, loyal type of woman, SO IF SHE WEREN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP -

Tbh, I feel like Sooyoung wouldn't really wanna deal with a younger man either LOL. But man, is that a shame because just FKING LOOK AT HER. WHAT THE FUUKCKKKK

Yoona

Getting into the maknae line of SNSD. Despite Yoona being the 2nd youngest though, recently ...

... she's been giving off mommy energy ... and I will happily bark for her if she

What?

Never mind.

Point is, she can tell me (a younger male) to do whatever she wants me to do. She commands me to bark, I ask how loud.

Also respectfully. Mom--Ma'am. 😌

Seohyun

Seohyun too ... she's the baby of SNSD and always will be, but FK is she less conservative about showing off how sexy she is recently.

And MAN am I glad she has. She probably has like a nude-colored shirt or something underneath that dress, but I can also just imagine that it's like, see-through and that she's sorta practicing some hidden voyeuristic tendencies in public, right?

No? She's too baby?

You still gonna tell me she too baby?

... man, gotta get working on that Seohyun chapter for 'The Pet of Kim Taeyeon', huh...

...

:D

But to answer the prompt, I also feel like she, like Tiffany, does not want to deal with a younger man. As she said in an interview, she has very high standards in men and desires a man that has lived as well as she has, which I think will generally exclude a lot of men younger than her. Maybe, if the younger man is exceptional, then Seohyun would perhaps make an exception? Or maybe she'd want to just let go for just one day and get railed for an entire night by a younger man with endless stamina. 🤔

[silkizui]

౨ৎ TRIPPED UP OVER YOU .ᐟ .ᐣ

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ You and Riki have always been just friends or at least, that's what you think. Everyone else seems to be one step ahead, desperately waiting for the two of you to finally get together. During a slow, chaotic day at school, the teacher is late, and Riki spots the perfect opportunity to shoot his shot ˚｡⋆

#### — one-shot, crack/humor (ig), friends to lovers, fluff, confessing, mention of rizz, 1.9k word count

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ after this one shot might post another one or another smau 😞 , saw this idea from somewhere couldn’t remember and felt the need the write it down :P

The teacher was late. Again.

At first, everyone had kept it professional, quietly chatting, scrolling through their phones, half-heartedly pretending to review notes. But fifteen minutes into the wait, the classroom had dissolved into pure chaos. Someone was arm-wrestling by the windows. Someone else was loudly ranking the worst cafeteria meals. And you? You were simply trying to mind your own business, doodling little flowers in the corner of your notebook, when a suspicious object landed on your desk with a soft thud.

You blinked at it. A radio.

You glanced around, expecting someone to come claim it, but nobody seemed to notice or care. Shrugging, you pushed it aside and went back to your doodles, filing it under weird but not my problem.

That's when you heard it, the familiar beat of "White Tee" starting up from the radio. Loud. Obnoxiously loud. Heads turned. People stopped mid-conversation. The guy ranking cafeteria meals actually dropped his sandwich.

Before you could even process what was happening, Riki appeared in front of you like a bad omen.

Or, well, he tried to.

The next second, he tripped over literally nothing, letting out an overly dramatic gasp as he collapsed onto the floor sideways, one hand on his hip like he was posing for some cheap magazine shoot.

"Gosh," he groaned loudly, dragging it out for maximum effect, "I hurt my knee... falling for you, pookie~"

And then he winked.

Actually winked.

For a moment, the classroom was dead silent. No one moved. Not even you.

You blinked down at him, your pencil still hovering over your half-finished doodle. Your brain was doing its best to catch up with... whatever this was.

From somewhere in the back, someone coughed suspiciously. it sounded suspiciously like they were trying not to laugh. Another person audibly whispered, "He finally did it," like they were watching the season finale of their favorite drama.

Meanwhile, Riki was still sprawled across the floor, basking in the attention like it was oxygen. The beat of "White Tee" thumped dramatically in the background, adding a weirdly emotional soundtrack to the chaos.

You cleared your throat, staring at him. "Are you... okay?"

Riki smiled up at you, bright and blinding. "Never better, babe."

You didn't know what was more concerning, the fact that he'd called you pookie in front of the entire class, or the fact that he looked genuinely proud of himself.

"Should I call the nurse?" you asked slowly.

Someone in the back shouted, "CALL THE PRIEST, HE'S DOWN BAD."

The entire class burst into laughter.

Riki, unfazed, lazily rolled onto his back and stretched out like a starfish. "Nah. Only thing that can heal me is your love."

You dropped your forehead onto the desk with a loud thunk. "Please stop."

"No can do, pookie," Riki sang, dragging out the nickname just to make it worse.

Somewhere behind you, chairs scraped against the floor as a few classmates started setting up an imaginary betting pool on whether you'd finally fall for Riki or throw your water bottle at him.

(You were this close to the water bottle option.)

Still, as you peeked up at him from under your arms, you couldn't help the small smile tugging at your lips. He was ridiculous. Absolutely, embarrassingly ridiculous. And yet...

It was kind of cute.

In a secondhand embarrassment sort of way.

Maybe.

Riki noticed the smile immediately because of course he did, and beamed like he'd just won the lottery. He scrambled to his feet with the grace of a newborn deer and flopped into the empty chair next to you, way too close for comfort. His knee bumped yours under the desk, and he didn't even pretend to apologize.

"Admit it," he said, leaning in conspiratorially. "You're swooning."

You snorted. "I'm seriously considering faking an illness just to leave."

"You wouldn't abandon me like that," Riki said, clutching his chest dramatically. "Not after everything we've been through."

You raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

He opened his mouth, then paused. "Well. That one time we got detention together because you threw a paper airplane and blamed it on me."

"You volunteered to take the blame!"

"Because I was in love," he stage-whispered.

You deadpanned. "You were in love with the idea of skipping math."

Riki grinned, utterly unbothered. "Same thing."

You shook your head, laughing despite yourself. It was hard to stay mad at someone who looked at you like you hung the moon. Even when he was being unbearably cheesy. Especially when he was being unbearably cheesy.

The radio kept playing in the background, someone had started slow dancing dramatically in the back of the class, and a few people were whisper-shouting, "JUST DATE ALREADY" like it was their full-time job.

You decided to focus on the doodles again, pretending your heart wasn't doing weird things in your chest.

Next to you, Riki leaned back in his chair, arms folded behind his head, looking way too smug for someone who had just eaten the floor in front of half the student body.

"Hey," he said after a beat, nudging your elbow lightly. "Since I already fell for you today, you owe me."

You gave him a suspicious side-eye. "Owe you what?"

He grinned. "Lunch."

You squinted. "You're telling me I have to reward you for tripping over your own feet?"

"Tripping for love," he corrected. "It's noble, actually."

You burst out laughing, and the sound seemed to set off a wave of cheers from your classmates, who were now invested way beyond normal levels.

In the middle of the chaos, you caught Riki watching you with a look that was surprisingly soft, completely different from his usual goofy antics. Like maybe he wasn't just joking. Like maybe, underneath all the crackhead behavior, he actually meant it.

You felt your cheeks heat up, and immediately looked away, pretending to rummage through your bag for a nonexistent pen.

Riki didn't press it. He just hummed under his breath, tapping the beat of "White Tee" on the desk like he had all the time in the world.

Maybe you were imagining it. Maybe you weren't.

Either way, you were doomed.

Because somehow, somewhere between the ridiculous pickup lines, the fake injuries, and the God-awful nickname "pookie," you realized you kind of liked it.

You kind of liked him.

God help you.

Class finally resumed.

Your teacher walked in with an iced coffee in hand like she hadn’t just left a room full of hormonal, gossip-fueled teenagers unattended for twenty minutes. The second she stepped in, everyone pretended nothing had happened. Desks were straightened, phones disappeared, and Riki who had somehow climbed onto a chair for dramatic effect earlier, slid back into his seat next to you like he hadn��t just confessed his undying love in front of the entire class.

You tried not to glance at him.

Tried not to think about the way he’d looked at you.

Tried not to think about how it had actually... felt nice.

Unfortunately, your brain didn’t care about your efforts.

Every time you caught sight of him from the corner of your eye, your heart decided to pull a backflip. And Riki wasn’t helping. he’d stopped throwing lines and being loud, but he kept stealing glances at you like he was waiting for something. Like he was holding something back.

By the time class ended, your nerves were frayed.

You started packing up quickly, eager to get out of the classroom before someone made another “just date already” comment. But Riki caught up to you at the door, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and flashing you a sheepish grin.

“Hey,” he said, casual. “You still going to the library?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I’ve got to return that book before they start charging me in organs.”

“I’ll come with you.”

You blinked. “Since when do you go to the library?”

“Since now,” he said. “I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m rebranding.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t object. Secretly, you didn’t mind. It felt nice to walk with him, away from the crowd. The hallway buzz had settled into a quiet background hum, and for once, he wasn’t being loud or ridiculous. He walked beside you with his hands in his pockets, head tilted toward you just slightly.

“So,” he said after a few moments of silence, “earlier.”

You glanced at him. “Yeah?”

He hesitated. For the first time in a while, he looked... nervous.

“I know it was kinda a joke. Like, the whole radio thing, the fall.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry about that part.”

You laughed. “You should be.”

“But,” he said, stopping in the middle of the hallway, “I wasn’t kidding about the actual falling part.”

You stopped too.

He turned to face you, and you noticed the way his hands fidgeted slightly in his pockets, the way he kept his gaze locked on yours like he was trying really, really hard not to chicken out.

“I like you,” he said. “Like, for real. Not just ‘haha pookie’. I mean it.”

Your heart thudded in your chest. “Riki—”

“I’ve liked you for a while now. And I know I’m kind of a clown about it. Okay, not kind of. I am a clown. But I didn’t want to keep pretending it’s all a joke.”

He took a deep breath.

“I like you. Not just because you’re cute, or because you laugh at my stupid jokes. I like how you’re always lowkey judging everyone but still help people when they need it. I like the way you pretend not to care but secretly do. I like being around you. Even when you look at me like you’re gonna murder me with a pencil.”

You stared at him, heart doing things it had no right to be doing.

He looked down, suddenly shy. “I know I made it weird. I know it probably caught you off guard. But... I just need to know. Do you feel the same?”

You didn’t answer right away. Mostly because your brain had short-circuited. Partially because you were still trying to believe this wasn’t one of his elaborate jokes.

But when he looked up at you again, there was nothing jokey about his expression.

You stepped a little closer, shifting your bag on your shoulder.

“I do,” you said quietly.

His eyes widened. “Wait! what?”

You nodded. “I do feel the same. Maybe I didn’t realize it right away, because you’re always so... chaotic. But I do like you, Riki.”

The second the words left your mouth, his entire face lit up like someone had flipped a switch. He let out a yell, an actual yell and threw his arms up in the air, spinning once like he was celebrating a world championship.

“Let’s GOOOO,” he shouted.

Someone down the hall clapped. Someone else cheered. You buried your face in your hands.

“Oh my god, please don’t make this a public event.”

“Too late,” he said, beaming. “I’m about to tell the librarian. I’m about to tell that weird janitor who always smells like pickles. I’m gonna make flyers.”

“Riki.”

“Pookie said yes.”

You smacked his arm lightly. “I will take it back.”

He laughed, bright and giddy, then without warning, pulled you into a hug.

It was warm, surprisingly tight, and smelled faintly like shampoo and chaos. He squeezed you like he was afraid you might disappear, like he needed you to know he meant every single word he’d said.

You stood there for a moment, pressed against him, your arms slowly wrapping around his back.

This was real. This was happening.

He pulled back slightly, eyes shining. “You like me.”

You raised an eyebrow. “That’s what I just said, yes.”

He grinned. “Say it again.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“I’ll trip again.”

“You’re exhausting.”

“You love it.”

You did.

You really, really did.