#I actually don’t know how to tag this properly

[lmvari]

⟳ 22. STALLED

When you finally step out of the building, the sky dimming into the soft lavender of early evening. The campus is quieter now, with scattered students loitering by the gates or heading toward the nearby street stalls. Your footsteps feel heavy as usual as you consider going straight home.

It’s been almost a week now, and still, you show no signs of feeling any better. It frustrates you. How everyone else seems fine and happy, while you’re still stuck.

A familiar voice snaps you out of your daze.

“[Name]!”

You turn to see Lumi waving at you from across the walkway, Ajax and Kaz beside her, all three of them standing by the parking area.

“Come eat with us,” she offers. “You look like you’re about to go home and crash out.”

“Shut up,” you say when you reach them, but Lumi just raises an eyebrow. “Where are Ven and Hu?”

“They’re all busy, it’s just us,” Lumi sighs.

You fix your gaze at the unfamiliar company. Ajax tagging along is normal. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve hung out with Lumi, only for her to bring Ajax along and turn you into the third wheel. But being with Kaz is a first. You know him. You’ve seen him around campus, even exchanged waves now and then, but you’ve never actually hung out with him like this before.

Kaz seems to notice your attention on him and gives a small smile. “I heard what happened. Hope you don’t mind me joining in. Come join us, it’ll be fun.”

You want to argue, but you don’t. Because maybe they’re right. Maybe putting yourself out there is a good way to start moving on.

The four of you end up at a small food place just outside campus, one of those spots students always flock to after long days. You squeeze into a booth, the table already cluttered with shared plates and paper cups filled with soda. Ajax and Lumi sit beside each other while you and Kaz sit on the opposite side.

Lumi pokes you with a fry across the table. “See? Better than sulking in your room.”

You roll your eyes. “I wasn’t planning to.”

Lumi laughs. “It’s alright to be sad about it, you know. Just not to the point that it messes with your everyday life. That’s why we’re here to help you.”

Ajax chuckles, leaning back in his seat. “You’ve gone quiet lately. It’s good to see you out.”

Kaz glances your way. “So you and Kuni are really done?”

You freeze for a second, then sigh.

Of course he’d be brought up.

“We were never anything more than friends, in the first place,” you confirm.

“Heard that,” Ajax says with a cough.

You roll your eyes and look at Lumi in deadpan. “I’m starting to hate your boyfriend.”

She just shakes her head with a laugh.

“You two had something. I don’t know why neither of you admit it.” Ajax shrugs. “Did you get to talk about it properly?”

Define properly.

Does telling him to end things outside a convenience store late at night, in the pouring rain, count?

“I guess,” you answer vaguely, stirring your drink. “I told him we should stop. He just agreed. Which was the most painful part.”

“Why?” Kaz asks, listening intently.

You set down your drink. “We haven’t been sexually active lately prior to that. I thought I meant more to him. He didn’t even try to fight. Not even for our friendship.”

“That might be for the best,” Lumi mutters.

You raise your brow at her.

She continues, “Could you handle being ‘just friends’ while he gets back with his ex?”

You stay quiet, unsure how to answer that.

Can you?

Handle seeing him with her? Handle watching him treat her the way you thought he’d treat you? Handle knowing the delusions you had in your head are real with her?

Handle imagining how he’d touch her the same way he touched you?

And the worst part is the thought that you probably weren’t even the first to be handled like that.

She was.

Nothing was ever yours to begin with. It was your fault for being too attached when you knew it was only ever physical with him.

The answer is no. You can’t.

Do you really have the right to be upset?

As if reading your thoughts, Kaz’s voice is calm when he speaks. “You’re allowed to be mad at him, you know.” Ajax quietly agrees with a nod.

You glance beside you in surprise. “Aren’t you two his friends?”

“Yeah,” Ajax says with a shrug, “but not always.”

Kaz doesn’t say anything for a moment, then rests his elbow on the table. “We had an argument, actually.”

You blink. “You and Kuni?”

He nods, like it’s not a big deal. “A small one.”

You hesitate. “Over what?”

Kaz gives a faint shrug. “Just didn’t agree with some stuff he was doing. That’s all.”

It’s not much, but something flickers in your chest. You don’t push. Not yet.

Then Ajax adds, almost absently, “I’m surprised he got back with Mona again that fast.”

Lumi furrows his brows. “So they’re really back together?”

Ajax pauses then shrugs. “Dunno, they might as well be.”

You shake your head slowly, trying to keep your face blank.

Lumi watches you carefully. You press your lips together. Your mood dims slightly after that.

The conversation shifts to other things while the group eats their dinner.

Eventually, Lumi checks her phone and winces. “Shit. Ajax and I have to go. Something urgent came up.”

She stands up, grabbing her bag, and pulls Ajax with her. She leans down to put a hand on your shoulder. “You gonna be okay?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

Ajax ruffles your hair on the way out. “It’ll get better, alright?”

You watch them leave, the restaurant door swinging shut behind them.

You expect Kaz to get up too, to follow after them and leave you alone but he doesn’t. Instead, he stays seated, like he’s in no rush to go anywhere.

“You need a ride?”

You glance at him. “You don’t have to.”

“I know,” he says casually. “I’m offering.”

The car is quiet at first, save for the hum of the engine and the occasional splash of water as Kaz drives through the slick streets.

You sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed loosely, staring out the window. Neither of you talk for a while. It’s not awkward, just… quiet.

Comfortable, almost.

Kaz finally breaks the silence. “You okay?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

He doesn’t look at you, but his voice stays steady. “You don’t have to say you’re okay if you’re not.”

You smile faintly at that, then shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just tired.”

Kaz simply nods and doesn’t speak, eyes focused on the road. After a long while, “You really love him, don’t you? Kuni.”

You look at him, slightly taken aback.

Love? Did your feelings really progress at that stage?

“I don’t. It was just a fleeting thing,” you deny.

“I doubt that,” he says. “I can see how much it weighs on you. A person who isn’t in love won’t grieve like you do.”

You don’t respond.

Kaz sighs through his nose. “I’m not gonna pretend I know everything that happened. But I do know something more was developing between you two, whether you admit it or not. It was obvious.”

“He had chances. But he didn’t take them,” he continues. “He’s my friend, but that doesn’t mean I’ll defend him when he does something stupid.“

Stupid?

“What exactly did you guys argue about?”

Kaz presses his lips and shakes his head. “It’s about something you shouldn’t be hearing from me.”

Huh.

“Okay,” you simply accept. You shift in your seat, watching the blur of headlights outside.

After a few beats of silence, you speak. “It’s not that simple to just move on. Even if he was just a fling.”

He was never just a fling.

“I know it’s not,” he agrees. “But you shouldn’t keep waiting for someone who can’t even promise you anything.”

“I’m not waiting for him. I already ended it.”

Kaz hums and shows a small amused smile “Whatever you say.”

“You don’t believe me?” You scoff.

“I think there’s still a big part of you that hopes he comes back and chooses you instead. That’s why you’re progressing as slow as you’re going now.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Didn’t know you were some kind of therapist.”

Kaz briefly looks at you, softly chuckling, then turns his attention back on the road. “Well, I’m right, aren’t I?”

You don’t answer right away. Your weak smile falters into a thin line.

Then, under your breath, you admit, “It’s hard to let go of someone when part of you still hopes they��ll stay.”

Kaz’s voice softens. “I know. But you can’t put your healing on pause while he figures his shit out.”

You blink hard, swallowing down the sting in your throat.

He adds, “You deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel like you have to wait to be chosen.”

Silence settles again, heavier this time.

He pulls up in front of your house a few minutes later.

Kaz puts the car in park and turns to you with a reassuring smile. “You’ll be okay.”

You nod slowly, fingers resting on the handle.

“Thanks for the ride,” you murmur.

He gives you a small smile. “Anytime.”

You were about to open the door but you hear him speak out again. “You have my number, right?”

“I do. Why?” You saved it long ago from Lumi but never used it.

“Message me? You can talk to me if you need someone.”

“I will.” You smile at him, slightly feeling at ease. “Thank you, Kaz.”

You open the door and step out, the cool air brushing against your skin. Kaz waits until you’re safely at the door before driving off.

As the door clicks shut and his headlights vanish around the corner, you realize you never knew Kaz could be this steady.

For the first time in days, some of the weight finally lifts off your chest.

⟳ BLURRED LINES — PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

You say you’re just friends. You say it every time you leave a party together, every time you wake up tangled in sheets, every time you swear it’s the last time. But habits form, lines blur, and pretending gets harder when jealousy starts to sting.

NOTE some of ya’ll are hating on mc for being counterproductive with moving on but i feel like u guys don’t get it.. even in a fwb setup, sex is inherently intimate and can build emotional bonds. on top of that, kuni has never clearly closed the door on “something more,” sending mc mixed signals, which naturally drags out her healing. mc still doesn’t have closure. she’s piecing together why he let mona back in, why he didn’t fight for her, without clear answers. it’s normal for her to linger in that in-between space. + it hasn’t been a month guys chill out 😭 it took me over one month to completely get over my one week talking stage that i was deeply attached to. anw this chapter is kind of poorly made since i’m still fighting my writer’s block sorry

TAGLIST @joiurz @sketcheeee @mywillt0live @kyouzki @ylapsha45 @eternallykira-143 @bananasquash @kunikissr @swivi @ariesloves @b-bbytears @kokoscutie @vi0let-writes @tomsishere @franaby @scaraenthusiast1 @iloveescara @usagiarchive @ilovecats-26 @quiechee @snetr @axquella @tatsuomii @lalalaloveallmydays @liyahbug @feiherp @jinjjjia @automaticpatroltragedy @mysterypotatoink @zuhahearts @adres-tia @ssetsuka @strwbrrybbpop @sesamemin @blvdmrcnry @aspinny @jiminscarmex @sammybeefangirls @lxkeeeeee @yu-yumii @linasxoxo @quiet-place-for-thoughts @randomhumans-blog @aaudreys @lesbi-snail @jayzioxx @meowpmzai @sixftndr

if your name is in bold, that means i can’t tag you

[madamscream]

Many people think that the sloth is the slowest moving mammal on the planet. It’s actually me. Anyways, here's that list of erotic fanfiction I promised @trashy-corvian way too long ago. It's not complete but I've somehow become sort of busy and I figure I can always do a part two!

Since we’re talking about my favourites, there’s going to be a lot of Barbatos, monster-fucking, and dominant!reader. I Know What I Am About.

Will offer the pairing(s), a blurb, and information on reader gender if that’s relevant. As for kinks, please check the tags in any fic before reading, I literally have no way of accounting for everyone’s tastes and I enjoy some odd things. 

If a fic covers most of the cast but excludes some, I’ll list that instead of a pairing. None of the links have anything sexual with Luke, but I’ll still list him in the exclusions if I’m listing exclusions.

Lessons in Demonic Anatomy by Sexxica (tumblr)

MC has no gender, their genitals are not mentioned. Luke, Raphael, Mephistopheles, and Thirteen aren’t in the fic, but everyone else is.

One of my favourite, if not my very favourite smut fic because… I like reading about people jacking off, and this is basically a list of my favourite characters doing that. They are all amply aware they’re being watched, it’s all consensual. A+, have kinda wanted to write my own fic along a similar premise since reading it.

—

wear your independence like a crown by Koumine (thesecretsavant) on Ao3

Lucifer x MC

Written in second-person, the reader has a vagina, gender-neutral though Sir is the chosen title for MC.

I’m pretty eh on Lucifer, but people write some really tasty smut for him. A friend sent me this one, and they were correct to do so. By and large, it’s a collection of explicit scenes between the two that take place over time. It’s well written and the author has at very least done a lot of research into BDSM relationships if they don’t partake in them personally, which is always nice to see in a BDSM fic.

—

Mammon's First and Mammon’s Second by Avatar_Saiki

Mammon x MC

Gender neutral MC, no genitals mentioned for them.

Set shortly after the taming of Cerberus in Nightbringer. Mammon gets a blowjob. Genuinely really good characterization of the brothers and the MC is fun. The blowjob is nice, but I like the conversation between Asmodeus and Mammon ABOUT the blowjob best, because it’s honestly pretty cute imho.

Warm Inside and Out by HiddenOnyx

Gender neutral MC, implied to have a vagina in some of them. Luke, Raphael, Thirteen, and Mephisto are not included.

It occurs to me I’m sort of handing out a very public kink list. Anyways, this is a series of drabbles about cockwarming with the cast.

Kinktober: Obey Me Edition by InvertedPhantasmagoria (tumblr)

Possibly varied on the pronoun/genital situation, honestly not sure. Everyone but Luke, Raph, Mephisto, and Thirteen.

I will not lie, I haven’t read every entry because I just don’t like some of the kinks. The ones I do like are very good though! To no one’s surprise, chapter 31 is my favourite. They’re good at capturing desperation, which is something I enjoy GREATLY.

How do you like your tea? by wubzee

SolomonxBarbatos

I’m a sucker for aphrodisiac fics. Barb + Golden Hellfire Newt Syrup + Solomon’s a bastard. I’d say this is pretty non-con. It’s been a while since I read it properly, but skimming through… it’s pretty non-con.

carpe dick-em by wubzee

LuciferxSolomon (though I don’t think that ever happens actually)

Okay… so… to be fair… when I initially asked someone for the link to the Lucifer erectile dysfunction fic they mentioned, I was not actually aware of the clown fetish aspect. I like clowns just fine, but I am not personally horny about them. Despite the fact that there is next to nothing in this fic I would ever seek out, I did end up really enjoying it. And I’ve just noticed wubzee is on here twice so maybe I should read the rest of their stuff.

Arvandus writes really good Barbatos fanfiction. Also other things too, just… I have a particular area of interest.  As far as smut…

Of Love and Pacts the smut is great, of course, but I read this and my brain has not stopped riffing on the concept since. Making a pact mid-intercourse? Fucking amazing, no notes. Other things also, but it’d be kinda wild to put spoilers in my fic rec…

The Divine is fun because the first half of the fic is a date, deals with mortality, and made me cry like a baby. Then the second half hit me with some of the best-written smut anyone’s ever put to paper. Amazing. I wish all fics were like this… or maybe I just wish someone would pay Arv millions of dollars to write fics about Barb as a full time job.

Really can’t go wrong with earthliving, aka another-lost-mc

If I had to pick favourites… 

Angels at the Door tops the list. Something about characters listening to someone fuck the person they’re into and jacking off to it the next room over is entirely too lovely.

For Your Ears Only I don’t have any specific praises for this one, the whole thing is very nice.

Put A Spell On You I may or may not rotate the bit about Barbatos excusing himself around in my head More Days Than Not 

Got Milk? probably isn’t a favourite out of all their works for me personally but it did spark a very long series of daydreams and thus Must Be Mentioned

Human by getosubaru

Barb x MC, no pronouns but MC has a vagina

I asked a friend for their favourite fics and they happened to drop this one in my lap that I’ve been looking for for AGES. It’s pretty vanilla compared to a lot of the other stuff but it kicked down the door and made a home in my brain.

Various things by frenchfry_writes

Special shout out. They no longer write for the fandom, but they wrote good fic for a lot of very niche kinks that I like a lot and several that will make me tap out of a fic instantly. Often wrote AMAB or trans male reader. I’m not really warning for specific kinks in this list, but piss and vomit are a lot for many people (me included and I’m actively into omorashi) so like… they write for various watersports and emeto. Be aware of that. 

---

Special note: There’s one I skimmed my entire Ao3 history trying to find to no avail, to my severe distress. It’s largely about learning through experiencing how courtship works in the Devildom… Mammon leaves MC the heart of a big bird on their bed, then kills a guy for them. Levi kills a BUNCH of guys for them and they do the nasty while one of the corpses is floating in his floor-to-ceiling aquarium. If anyone knows where I can find that one again, I’d really like to have it back, it had some interesting world building :c I really hope it wasn't deleted.

EDIT: cosmicstarlatte comin' in clutch "the levi fic (you can then click the author for the others): https://archiveofourown.org/works/38520418"

[thisistotallysupersecret]

Hey btw I think it’s interesting that “ur” when used in text can be accurately interpreted as your (possessive, sound-alike shorthand) or you’re (you are conjunction, U being you and R being are and together is the “ur”)

So if you aren’t sure which your or you’re to use then just use “ur” and suddenly the grammar police will be unable to get a warrant.

[no1ryomafan]

I watched a video yesterday about how magical girls as a genre are not respected by the larger anime community and it is was well put together but I hate my brain for how I’m like “oh my god mecha fans are the same way” when a factor of why magical girls aren’t respected is driven by misogyny which is fucking yikes since mecha to my knowledge doesn’t have any negative gender biases-certainly it’s not because people don’t wanna like boy things if shonen is watched by even girls now-but I have realized there are shows in both genres that fall under similar categories in the large community:

<Eva and Madoka are praised as deconstructions of the genres which isn’t fucking true in the slightest, it’s just people realizing the genres can be deep and the shows have done what others before it have done but no one will look into it to see that

<Gurren and Sailor Moon are literally just normal entries to the genre that somehow clicked to regular audiences but said fans of it still refuse to look more into the genre as a whole for whatever reason even though if they like these ones, they’d like more if they tried it (this also applies to Code Geass and Cardcaptor)

<Gundam and Precure are the ongoing entries for the genre so more people over time have given them a peep, but genuinely to wider audiences there still more niche despite developing their own dedicated fandoms

And genuinely if I knew more magical girls or knew more impact particular mecha had on audiences in the west I could probably continue these comparisons, but it’s kinda fucking sad the two first ones even happen 😭

[luniviravosshipper]

4x04 / 4x05

Viren figuratively spitting on Terry in his search for comfort from him / Viren getting literally spat on by Sir Sparklepuff in his search for comfort from him

[ghostsbroadcast]

“Phew, 2 and a half hours of lineless work! At least it can’t get worse than this!”

the nefarious 24+ pigs to render at the bottom of the canvas:

anyways progress post

[jonmattdaily]

leave the bodies behind janine

[dragestil]

the lovers of dublin

(spotted 18 nov 23 in dublin, ie)

[slythereen]

imma be real with y’all seeing cs at red bull would make me even more insane

[cosmicheartz]

I do hope ppl don’t think I’m trying to downplay the cult aspects of cult of the lamb bc I have my lamb try to break away from that postgame ( calls it a Flock/Community )

Solange knows deep down knows that the cult roots will never go away how matter hard she tries to distance herself away from it and she hates it.

She knows that being a cult leader is not good ( she literally only agreed to be a vessel bc she had no choice along with assuming that when she slayed all the bishops she’d just relinquish the crown like Ratau.) and she has/had lot of rules/measures in place to minimize the amount of damage done ( ie the no kids rule that she technically broke with Mayberry but it was bc Solange couldn’t bear to just leave her to die in Silk Cradle )

( Tbh I don’t even think she’s that comfortable with having kids in the cult even postgame but that’s a whole other thing )

Solange hates being a cult leader and she hates being a goddess. All she wanted was to survive and leave the lands of old faith and now she can’t really even do that. She’s secretly super miserable but hides it from her followers so they don’t worry. It’s part of the reason she takes her anger out on Narinder and to a lesser extent the Bishops sometimes ( she’s mainly somewhat cordial but there are times where that mask slips )

That’s not to say she hates her followers, far from it actually, But having to put up a facade is mentally draining for her and sometimes she wished she just let herself be sacrificed.

It’s her own personal Hell

A Hell that she technically had a part in making

[slimslamflimflam]

This thang has never committed atrocities in his entire life

(version of second image wit blood under the cut)

Jam btw. Don’t worry about it.

[ryderdire]

Just cried over Math for the first time in like 6 years so that’s where I’m at

[exopelagic]

THAT GUY WAS A US FIGURE SKATER

[no1ryomafan]

With more older anime I watch that’s specifically about androids the more I noticed all the influence mega man pulled from it despite it not being a anime nor the robot timeline ever getting a proper anime but I think what gets me more then “the basis of mega man is like astro boy, casshern and POSSIBLY kikaider all in a blender with mega man x making the second two inspos more apparent” is realizing how many villain characters inspired proto man.

You have the obvious one, char from Gundam, you have rock holmes from Astro boy who’s not a confirmed one but seems to track given classic takes a lot of Astro boy influence and then you have Saburo from Android kikaider, the most likely inspo for proto in EVERY category- and then you remember how while these characters are evil for a complex reason, proto man really shines to be different as he changed his ways. He’s still a rival to his “brother” in a sense but bass takes more of the role of the evil mega man, while proto just watches from afar and comes in to help when he thinks he’s needed.

I’m going to rotate this red robot fuck for awhile again FUCK

[dreadheadmadi]

“Reader has black hair and blue eyes-“

THEN ITS NOT AN X READER!!???

Edit below cut

Hey guys, so when I made this post, I was extremely frustrated and annoyed. Now that I’m way more mellowed out and had the chance to read a lot of reactions and responses, let me act my age and actually clarify some things.

First, I want to apologize to those who were deeply upset by my post. My post overall was towards those who claim they don’t write for a specific audience, and yet put specific descriptions in their work. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with adding certain details to your reader, such as gender or body type. The issue comes in when you don’t properly title and tag it as so, or completely ignore it altogether.

If you see my post as an eye opener and want to change up your work, then you have every right to do so, but please do not think that this is an attack or jive directed at you. It’s just that some of us readers want exactly as promised. That’s like blindfolding someone, telling them that you’re gonna feed them an apple, and then making them bite into a banana - peel and all.

I know some writers have said that they want to be more inclusive in response to my criticism. If that is what you truly want, then by all means, but I cannot stress enough: write what YOU want to write. Do not feel as though you’re being pressured to change what you put out; it’s just a means of how you categorize it.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read, respond, and engage with my original post. I truly appreciate the perspectives shared, they’ve helped me see things more clearly and refine my thoughts.

[starryyvenus]

Thinking about the invisible red string theory and how you had a terrible crush on this boy in 8th grade and the last time you ever saw him again was at 8th grade graduation until in high school you transferred schools in the first week of freshman year to this do it at your own pace school and then you stopped coming into that school until sophomore year you finally go to school and during this random ass week that your there you hear the principal say “hey (guys name)” and walk by the door to the room that you’re in and the guy also suspiciously kinda looks like that old crush you had in 8th grade so once again you inevitably stopped going into school and now it’s junior year of high school and you go again and you’re in science and you’re sitting by the window that looks out into the parking lot where you can see people walk in and out of the door and you see him walking to the door to the school so now you’re just there bamboozzled if it’s actually him or some random ass guy that has the same name as him wears the type of pants that he wore back in 8th grade HAS THE SAME VOICE as him kinda looks like him but you don’t know so now weeks goes by and he stops coming to school and so obviously you do the same now in senior year you do good by going to school more then the years that you have not thinking of him no more (at this point he wasn’t coming into school) until February on a random ass Wednesday you hit the buzzer for the door to be let into the school it unlocks you walk in and you see him talking to the principal looking back at you like what the fuck so the principal says “hey (my name) Mrs. (Teachers name that you go to) isn’t here today but I can let you in her room” (obviously this isn’t exactly what he said I don’t remember the exact conversation but there was another teacher that was by the printer I think and she said some things to so yeah) so you wait to be let into the room and all goes fine the teacher that wasn’t there comes back because she had an appointment so anyways when you’re mom is there to pick you up you go to the front door and see him sitting in a desk by the door doing his work so fast forward a couple days you ask that same teacher if I was going to still graduate or not for this year (because that was my goal) and she showed you that you didn’t have enough credits so then you stopped going to school because you felt sad and disappointed at yourself for not going to school for high school but months past and he literally hasn’t left your thoughts and you tried everything and now you keep wondering to yourself if it really is him or not (I saw his face yes but I don’t know if it is him because his face was blurry as fuck and you needed glasses 😭) and if you both have the invisible red string connecting you both (bitch I’m delusional as fuck😔)