#I haven’t been using this recently and I prob should be 😭

[slythereen]

imma be real with y’all seeing cs at red bull would make me even more insane

[leclerced]

https://www.tumblr.com/enchantecafe/738701264923328512/ive-been-thinking-recently-probably-because-of

Omg this made me laugh sm. So im german and i just imagined bringing lando with me to my grandma and he’s thinking „ok german food wont be a problem, schnitzel is great and bratwurst is also easy, i eat that at home“. His reaction when he sees a fucking mettigel for the first time, pure horror (you should google it). I imagine pulling him into a bathroom bc its kale season and he needs to help me wash 40kg (88lbs) kale in the bathtub and sees all the insects coming out of it? And how 8 full Bathtubs shrink down to 3 big pots??? He‘d faint if he were to witness germans yell at each other over the correct name of a Berliner (its berliner). Poor boy would be so confused about why asparagus season is taken so seriously here 😭

And the worst part, im from Wolfsburg (the home city of Volkswagen) and he has to sit there and listen to why the VW Ketchup has a serial number like the car parts at the factory or how there was a „ketchup gate“.

🫀

link

okay sorry i didn’t answer this when u sent it but ugh. i love this sooo much it made me laugh sm. i kept rereading it all day and giggling. god i want to go to germany so bad.

lando would walk in and see the mettigel and immediately be like, “oh fuck i have to eat that?” he’d panic internally soo bad until she shows him the foods he will eat, ones she specifically asked to be made so he wouldn’t starve. i can so imagine his gfs brothers or like the kids of the family teasing him with weird foods, like when carlos tried getting him to eat sushi!! lando’s politely declining and trying not to gag at the sight.

the kale thing is so fucking funny. 88 lbs of kale??? 8 full tubs of kale??? what are u cookin ?? who eats that much kale??? this sounds like one of those math problems where someone buys 78 bottles of soda and you have to determine the final cost with tax.

all that kale and it all shrinks down to 3 big pots???? oh my fucking god thats insane!!!!!!!! lando would not be eating it after he sees all the bugs. he would never eat kale again because he knows bugs have been on it before. he gets served a sandwich with kale on it at a restaurant and can’t eat it because it has been touched by a bug.

i like asparagus when its grilled or sautéed but at thanksgiving this year my grandma made creamed asparagus with canned asparagus and it was genuinely the worst thing i have eaten in years but it was the only side and i felt bad about only eating ham and rolls. i could go on n on about that but i will not rn unless u all want to hear ab my holiday shenanigans but i assume yall prob don’t care to hear me complain ab the menu at family dinner.

its so so cool ur from where vw is from!! u could take him on a tour of the factory and stuff i think he’d like that a lot!! take him w the whole fam and everyone is telling him ab the lore

i’m from the town where dr pepper was invented humble brag!!! there is a museum in an old bottling factory and you can go and make your own soda its sooo cool. i haven’t been since i was a kid but i love it. there’s another museum there with this mammoth exhibit, i can’t remember if these are cast replicas or if they excavated some, but there’s a display in the museum and you get to walk on top of it on this glass floor and its absolutely incredible. look at this!!!! i used to sit and analyze these fossils for as long as i could. there’s also the mammoth monument you can visit where they discovered the mammoths!! you can read about it here if ur a nerd like me