#I actually bought the design for my s/i which is why

[bizzyboyfriends]

F/o assigning you... Cake from BFDI!

https://battlefordreamisland.fandom.com/wiki/Cake

- @boyfriendblogging

OMG!!! I FORGOT HOW SQUISHABLE HE LOOKS HEHEHE.

We'd TOTALLY be friends. I'd be his #1 supporter. Build up that self confidence. Wanna help that silly squishums. I forgot I actually had an objectsona too... Gotta draw them vibing some time.

[stevehours]

drinking game

steve harrington x fem!reader

18+ minors dni, drinking, smut

wc: 4.4k

As far as first dates go, this is the lamest one you’ve been on. Which you’d somewhat anticipated when you agreed to it. Steve Harrington is a couple years younger than you. The kid’s barely twenty. But he is incredibly handsome and well, it’s been awhile for you. Steve’s wooing skills haven’t graduated high school, like he has. He insists on picking you up, gets to show off the car his daddy bought him. It is nice. Must’ve cost a fortune when he was gifted it on his sixteenth birthday. The damn thing has a telephone in it. Power seats and windows. And the seats heat up, he tells you. Though in the middle of August, it’s not really necessary. It has great speakers, proven by the cheesy, 70’s baby making music he’s blasting from them. You can’t imagine Steve actually listens to this, but that it’s an attempt to get you in the mood.

He brings you to a diner for dinner where he tries to share a milkshake with you and then it’s a trip to the drive-in movies. It’s ripped out of the 50’s. Especially the part where he tries to make out with you, which okay, yes you indulge in until he grabs a handful of your breast.

“Alright, Romeo,” you laugh, pushing him back, “Cool it down a little.”

“Sorry,” he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and settles back into the driver's seat. His cheeks are ruddy, either with embarrassment or arousal, you aren’t sure.

“It’s fine—“ you tell him and adjust your blouse, “It’s kind of cute.”

“You’re really pretty,” he blurts out, smiling and it does make you giggle. But you feel a little childish right after, so you shove his head and tell him to keep watching the movie.

Must be a win for Steve because that saccharine smile doesn’t leave his face.

After the movie, he starts driving but not in the direction of your apartment. He glances at you, “I’m having a really good time. Would you be up for maybe coming back to my place? For a drink or something?”

“Your place?” you snort, crossing your arms but you’re already convinced.

Steve blushes again, “Well, I live there. My parents are like, barely home. Business trips and stuff.”

“Alright, Harrington,” you shrug, “It’s early. Let’s do it.”

—

“It’s called Flip, Sip or Strip,” he says, holding up a quarter and looking at you under hooded eyes.

You cackle, fingers delicately holding the crystal wine glass that’s definitely worth more than anything you own. You didn’t know Steve’s parents were so loaded, though the car should’ve been the indicator. The pair of you are sitting in the living room of the Harrington home. It’s so intricately designed, the entire house following the same decorative theme. And it’s remarkably clean for a place a young man lives alone 75% of the time. You wonder if there’s a housekeeper that comes and cleans up after Steve.

“You want to play a drinking game?” you scoff, crossing your legs and you don’t miss the way Steve’s eyes follow the movement.

“You’ve heard of it, then?”

“Not since freshman year of college but, sure, let’s play,” you placate him, leaning back in the chaise lounge. In the back of your mind you’re wondering why expensive furniture is so uncomfortable. Steve scrambles from the equally looking stiff couch, opening what you can assume is his parents liquor cabinet. Under the record player that plays that same cheesy, romantic 70’s R&B he was blasting in the BMW.

He sets two glasses and a bottle of tequila on the coffee table and then pats the cushion next to him on the couch.

You raise an eyebrow, “Wouldn’t it be better to stay here? So you can actually see me?”

“Good point,” he grins excitedly and then says, “You first. Call it.”

“Heads,” you slur in a sultry voice, smirking at the way he looks back at you all slack-jawed.

Then Steve flips the coin in the air, catches it in his palm and slaps it on his forearm. He uncovers it and gets this real mischievous smile on his face. He doesn’t even have to announce it, you know the coin is tails up. You laugh and lean forward to grab the bottle of tequila, pouring yourself a small shot and downing it with ease. Then you extend your palm out and Steve hands you the coin. You watch him expectantly until he says, “Tails.”

You flip it, catching it in your hand and flipping it onto your arm. You giggle as you uncover it, wiggling your eyebrows at Steve when you tell him, “Heads.”

He shucks off his coat, tossing it behind him and making grabby hands for the quarter. You roll your eyes as you drop it into his hand and tell him, “Heads.”

Steve flips the coin and then his face scrunches up in disdain, “Heads.”

You snatch the coin from his hand as you cackle triumphantly. A few more rounds go on, you take off your heels with Steve’s eyes glued to your feet and he takes a shot. Then you’re challenged again to either take a drink or remove another bit of clothing. And you’re honestly feeling that shot of tequila so you’d rather not take another so quick. Hence, your tights come off. Steve watches the motion and chews on his bottom lip.

“You a virgin, Harrington?” you ask, eyebrows knitting together.

He laughs, almost offended as he shakes his head, “Far from it. You’re just too good to look at. Anyone tell you that you could be a model?”

“Flattery will get you almost anywhere. Heads or tails, big boy?” you smooth your thumb against the warm quarter.

He guesses correctly, but you don’t on your turn. And so off comes your blouse. Steve spreads his legs across from you, hands smoothing down his jeans as he grins salaciously at you. He incorrectly guesses tails and then pulls off his polo, exposing this jungle of chest hair you’re shocked by. A smug smirk spreads across his lips as your mouth hangs open. And he’s got all these moles decorating his gorgeous skin like constellations. He combs his own fingers through his chest hair and leans back on the couch, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. Still has his Nikes on.

You scowl as you throw the quarter at him, “Heads.”

And you lose, but you opt for another shot as you feel far more exposed than Harrington is.

A few more rounds leads to you both pleasantly buzzed and in your underwear.

“This game is stupid,” you decide when you incorrectly guess again.

Steve giggles and tosses the coin on the coffee table, “That’s okay. I’d rather take those off myself anyways.”

You hate that it works, makes your thighs warm up with dull arousal as you take your eyes over Steve’s body. He’s lean, soft but very faintly muscular. And those moles go all over him. All the way down to his feet. You heave a sigh and stand from the chaise lounge, stepping in between Steve’s legs and grabbing a hole of his square jaw. He blinks up at you, mouth ajar with fucking stars in those round, brown eyes.

“You have a really stupid, cute face,” you tell him, pushing his thick hair off his forehead.

“Uh, thanks?” he replies and you straddle his lap, pushing both hands into the waves of chestnut hair. You look at it, eyes narrowing.

“Do you have highlights?” you ask.

“Naturally— from the sun and—“ he starts but you interrupt him.

“Bullshit,” you grab onto his jaw again, “You get highlights in your hair.”

“No, I don’t,” he narrows his eyes and you completely seat yourself on his lap, feeling his erection press against your ass. You grind down on it and he lets out a gargled moan, his eyelids fluttering shut.

“You do,” you tell him and then get your lips on his jaw, feeling the subtle stubble against your face. You lick against his jawline, pushing your fingers in his hair and pulling his head back to give you more room. You begin kissing down his neck and his hands grab onto your hips, guiding you up and down against his strained, hard cock. The whole hair argument is completely forgotten by Steve, his hips jerk weakly as he leans his head back and lets out these pretty, soft sounds. The kind of sounds that make your stomach fill with excited, horny butterflies.

You mark up his neck, the skin purpling from your pleasurable abuse. Suck and bite until bruises form and Steve’s whimpering underneath you. You relent on his neck, pulling his head back to look at you as you writhe against him. His hands skate up your sides and back down, landing on your ass and pushing you harder against his erection. And you get a real good look at his pretty face. His eyes tilt down slightly at the ends and they’re so full of desire. Wonderfully expressive and beautiful. You look up at his brows, smiling to yourself as you notice they’re manicured, just ever so slightly. This man takes care of himself. More than most. His complexion is remarkably smooth. You drag your fingertip down the bridge of his nose to the tip, smiling at the sharpness of it. Then you settle your eyes on his lips as they quirk up into a smile, he likes how you’re looking at him. Admiring him. His lips are plump, pink from the way he’s been biting at them all night.

“You’re pretty,” you whisper, dragging your thumb across his bottom lip and he kisses the pad of it. Sending your stomach ablaze as you roll down on him a little firmer.

“You’re prettier,” he replies, voice husky.

“How come you don’t have a girlfriend?” you ask, tangling your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I haven’t asked you, yet,” he tells you, smirking as he smooths his hand up your back to your bra. Unclasps it with two fingers, impressing a gasp from you and he smiles, straight and white teeth on display.

You help pull the straps from your arms and discard the lacy fabric aside, wrapping your arms around his neck again and then leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss. You don’t think too much about what he’d just said, this is fun and you’ve just met. This is the first date, you barely know each other. But while this started out as a lame date, you feel uncharacteristically smitten at this point.

Steve kisses like he needs it. Hungry. Like his oxygen supply comes from your lungs and he’s been suffocating all night. Makes you breathless and dizzy. You whimper into each desperate exchange, sucking on his tongue whenever he slips it past your lips. His arms wrap around your middle, pulling you completely flush against him. Your hands get tangled in his hair yet again, a little obsessed with the way it feels between your fingers. Your noses keep bumping into each other and his pokes your eye a handful of times but it doesn’t slow either of you down.

You lift yourself up and Steve offers a whine until he sees you’re moving to take off your underwear, then he’s helping get them off and you’re situating yourself between his legs on the floor. Hooking your fingers into the waistband of his briefs and peeling them down his thighs, gasping when his impressive length pops out and slaps against his abdomen. You give yourself a beat to look at it as Steve spreads his legs and writhes against the couch. Chewing on your bottom lip, you wrap your hands around the base of him. Your fingers don’t even meet when they’re circled around his girth.

“Christ,” you mutter and he laughs, a soft and almost insecure sound.

“I- I know, it’s kind of—“

“Huge?”

“Scary?” he asks, tilting his head as he gazes down at you.

It’s your turn to laugh, wondering how many girls have told him that. You’re not scared, no, the opposite.

“Not scary,” you tell him, “I’m thoroughly impressed.”

“Yeah? I’ve… I’ve been told it’s too—“ he swallows and his eyes squeeze shut as you stroke his length firmly.

“Too big?” you offer and work your hand up and down his gargantuan cock slowly, “I like a challenge, Stevie.”

He laughs again, but it’s a breathless laugh. He opens his eyes again and watches as you lick a broad stripe up the underside of his cock. His eyebrows furrow, lips parting with a sweet whine. You wrap your lips around the head of him, tasting the salty precum leaking from his slit. As you grip onto the base of him and attempt to take him into your mouth, you can feel just how hard he is. You lock your eyes on his, slowly sinking down on his cock. Drool slips past your lips and down the rest of his length, your hand slides up and smears the natural lube over him. You continue like that, fingers moving up and down where you can’t fit him in your mouth. You make a conscious effort to breathe out of your nose and use your tongue while you bob up and down on his cock.

Steve watches intently, thighs shaking as he tries his hardest not to buck his hips up. Just the size of him has spit pooling in your mouth and seeping down his length all the way to his heavy balls. His face looks extra pretty right now. Dazed and drunk on the pleasure, perhaps some of the tequila too.

His hands tangle into your hair, holding it out of the way as you continue your way up and down his cock.

“That’s it,” he breathes out, chest heaving as he praises you, “Doing so good for me.”

Those words hit you, make you moan on his length and wiggle your hips. You try to take him as deep as you can before pulling off, working your fist over his cock as you catch your breath. Once he’s not in your mouth, he bucks his hips and moans out shakily.

“Oh, fuck…” he seethes, his toes curling into the carpet.

You move your mouth to his balls then, still working his shaft in your hand and you start licking at his sack. Keeping your eyes trained on his gorgeous face. Steve blinks rapidly, rolling his hips up and spewing the prettiest little moans. And you’re kind of obsessed with his face at this moment, the absolute pleasure painted on it.

“So fucking pretty,” you tell him because you really can’t help yourself and Steve seems to like it, tugging on your hair and whining.

“C’mere… wanna kiss you,” he babbles out and you stand on shaky legs before crawling back into his lap and kissing him sloppily. He wraps his arms around your middle and thrusts his hips up, the side of his cock gliding through your folds and punching a surprised moan from you, which he swallows. Then his hands move down and firmly plant on your asscheeks. At first you assumed Steve was close to coming but the way he’s grinding you down on his cock tells you otherwise— he just really wanted to kiss you.

Then Steve pulls away, “Can I taste you? Please?”

You’re not inclined to say no to that, nodding your head emphatically and standing up from his lap again. You make a move to lay down on the couch, but Steve’s laying down first and grabbing at you.

“Sit on my face, please,” he whines and you flush, but do as he asks. Maneuvering your leg over his shoulders, you hover and look down at him. As if to ask if he’s sure. Which he answers by pulling you down on him, his warm and wet mouth meeting your dripping cunt. You moan out, hands grabbing onto the armrest to keep yourself upright as Steve devours your aching pussy. He’s moaning into you, seemingly loving the taste as he sucks and licks at your folds. Once you’re comfortable and downright desperate, you begin riding Steve’s gorgeous face. His hands are planted firm on your ass, guiding you through it.

“I’ve been dying to taste you all night,” he manages to tell you, pulling you off of him just the smallest inch before he’s dragging your pussy back down against his eager mouth.

“Fuck, baby,” you mutter out, “You’re so good at that…”

He really is, uses his whole face to do it. Nose rubbing against your clit, tongue teasing your hole while you drip all over his chin. You try to look down at him, lock eyes with his dazed, pussy-drunk ones but the pleasure gets overwhelming and your eyes start to flutter shut as you grind down on his expert tongue and really use his nose to get off. Your stomach fills with fire, your release gaining in ok you quickly. And once Steve’s tongue penetrates you, you’re a goner. Crying out his name in desperate pleas as you ride your orgasm out. You’re shaking when you pull off of him abruptly, worried that you’re about to suffocate him. And as you stand, looking down at him, you can’t help but giggle at the look on his face. Steve looks like he just came. Blinking slowly, a pleased smile plastered on his pink lips.

He stands with you, laces your fingers and kisses you softly. You can taste yourself on his lips but you don’t mind, giggling into it.

“Can I take you to my bedroom?” he asks once he pulls away.

You nod, shyly and looking up at him with stars in your eyes. He guides you up the stairs, stopping along the way to steal kisses. You’re not sure the last time you felt so much romance tangled in with sex. He presses you to the wall next to his bedroom door, swoops his mouth down to capture yours in a disproportionate chaste kiss. Again, linking your fingers and holding them above your head as he connects his forehead to yours.

“Don’t laugh— okay?”

You giggle, gazing up at him curiously, “Sorry. I won’t.” It’s unclear exactly what Steve’s asking you not to laugh at, but once he opens his bedroom door, you get it. It’s the ugliest bedroom you’ve ever seen. Everything is drenched in plaid, the wallpaper, the curtains, the bedspread. All so offensive. You bite your lip to stifle the laugh, but it all dissolves when you turn to watch Steve close the door and get a glimpse at his cock which is very much still hard. Then his bedroom doesn’t seem so silly anymore. Your hand wraps around his length as you press him against the door, kissing him filthy all over again.

Steve whimpers from the touch, muffled against your tongue as he places his hand on your face and holds you while he kisses back.

“I need you,” he slurs into your mouth and you nod, kissing him before you walk towards his bed. You lay yourself on it, head on his pillows as you bring your hands up to fondle your own tits. Watching as Steve’s hand falls down to his cock, stroking himself slowly. He then climbs on top of you, kissing you tenderly before he’s reaching over to his nightstand but something tells you to stop him, so you do. Hand on his wrist.

“No… I,” you swallow, lust driving this decision completely, “I wanna feel you… just you.”

Steve inhales sharply, moves his hand to push his cock down for some relief as he says to you, “Fuck… are you sure?”

You wrap your arms around his neck as you nod slowly at him, spreading your legs for him. He drops his head down to kiss you, all slow and gentle. His hand slips between your bodies, grabbing his cock and teasing the head of it against your aching center. You gasp softly, hands tangled in his hair as your hips roll, causing the tip of his cock to catch on your dripping hole. Steve sinks in slowly, inch by inch. It’s quite the stretch, has your jaw dropping as you adjust. His cock is hot and thick, you can feel it pulsing as it drags against your walls. It’s so delicious and heady, your legs instinctively wrap around his waist and your hips roll up until he’s completely sheathed inside you. And Steve’s gentle, doesn’t jack hammer into you immediately like most men would. He stays still and lets you get used to the feeling, kissing you softly and tenderly between needy moans and gasps.

“Feel so full,” you confess in a whisper and that gets Steve thrusting into you, groaning lowly against your lips.

“Yeah?” he asks, “You’re so fucking wet and tight… squeezing my cock so good.”

“Oh, Steve,” you moan, tugging his hair while he slowly builds a steady and deep rhythm. His hand moves to grab your thigh, squeezing it while he grinds down into you. The tip of his cock prods against that spongy, sweet spot inside you. Punches a yelp out of you to which he looks down at you, panicked.

“You okay?” he asks, blinking rapidly.

You nod, scratching down his back as you plead, “Fuck, yes… right there, do it again.”

A smile spreads across his lips, pretty teeth showing as he thrusts into you again. And again. Your back arches with it, pressing your tits to his chest as your legs spread further on their own volition. You place your hand on his cheek, watching his stunning face as he sinks in and out of your pussy, the filthiest sounds echoing in the room. He licks his lips, brow furrowing as his thrusts get harder and faster. Each time, he rubs against that bundle of nerves deep inside you. Dragging the most pornographic sounds you’ve ever made from your throat. You’re not sure you could recover from this, suddenly really hoping he does ask you to be his girlfriend. The two of you have barely even started and it’s the best you’ve ever felt in your life. His cock filling you in a way that makes you want to cry, in a good way.

“Steeeeeve…” you moan out, low and uncontrollably. “Fuck… that’s so good. Just like that, baby… yes…”

His lips are on your ear now, lowly telling you, “Taking me so well… such a good girl…”

Your cunt clenches around him, little desperate and pleasure filled pants and moans pouring out of you. “Steve, Steve… oh, Steve!” you chant, scratching down his back a second time.

His hips still and he laughs, burying his face in your neck as he mumbles, “Fuck- fuck, don’t wanna cum yet.”

You grab his face and pull his lips to yours, unhooking your legs from his waist as you kiss him deeply. Tongues lazily curling together, panting into each other's open mouths. You give him a beat to come back down, then you’re flipping the pair of you. Get Steve on his back and you on top of him, without disconnecting where you two meet. You place your hands on his furry chest, feeling the jungle of hair you’ve been staring at since he took his shirt off that night. His hands grip onto your hips, gasping and panting as he stares up at you, awestruck look on his beautiful face.

“You’re so pretty,” you tell him again and he laughs, that wonderful breathless sound you’re starting to fall in love with. Which is dangerous but right now, you don’t care.

“I’ve got the prettiest girl on top of me… and she’s telling me I’m pretty,” he mumbles out, dazed smile on his face.

“You are,” you assure him just as you start to rock your hips, face confronting as you feel his cock prod at that sweet spot deep inside you again. Your eyes cross from it, eyebrows knitting together as you bite your lip and you begin riding him steadily. Slow and gentle at first but soon enough, you’re bouncing up and down on his cock.

“Fuck, that’s it, baby… just like that…” Steve babbles out, snaking his hand around and his thumb finds your clit easily. Works in quick, firm circles. Has you riding him even faster and harder as your climax threatens to rush over you. Building and building so quickly.

“Steve…. Steve?” you whimper.

Sweet, lopsided smile on his face when he asks, “Yeah, baby?”

“I’m gonna fucking cum,” you confess, scratching your nails against his chest as you grind down on his length.

Steve keeps up his ministrations on your clit, doesn’t switch anything up. But he heaves this happy, aroused laugh and tells you, “Cum for me, cum all over my cock. Use me.”

Your body tenses when it hits you, sending you over the edge and you collapse on top of him. Face buried in his neck as you spew cries and moans. He grabs your hips, holds you steady and plants his feet on the mattress. That’s when he lets loose, thrusts into you with everything he’s worth. Mouthing praise against your ear as he fucks you silly.

Your eyes roll back, his thrusts punching repetitive and loud moans from your lungs.

“Fuck— I’m gonna— fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he warns and squirms underneath you but you make no attempt to move.

“Fill me up, Steve,” you whisper against his ear, kissing under it and then telling him, “Wanna feel it. Cum inside me, baby.”

He lets out a gargled moan, arms wrapping around you firmly as he thrusts one last time and releases inside you, coating your walls with his spend. Your lips meet again, lazily and spent kisses as you both come down.

Steve strokes your hair, holds you close and kisses your cheek before he asks, “You wanna stay the night?”

“Yeah.. yeah, I do,” you reply, pushing his hair off his sweaty forehead. “As long as you make you breakfast.”

“I’ll make you anything you want,” he says with a smile before flipping you over and kissing you deeply.

And okay… maybe it wasn’t such a lame date.

[rubyvhs]

day one : lingerie & overstimulation (cordell walker) .ᐟ 18+ fem!reader

Cordell sighs the second he steps into the house, taking off his hat and placing it on the rack. It’s already well past midnight so he doesn’t bother calling out for you or his kids, just walks upstairs to your room, hoping for a quiet night after the shitshow of a day.

And then he sees it. Sees your beautiful figure swinging around as you apply your lip gloss, your nightgown hugging your body so perfectly it made him stop dead in his tracks. Which means you hear him come in.

You jump at the sudden noise and turn back, “oh, god,” you place a hand on your chest with a smile, “cordi, are you crazy? How about you don’t sneak up on a ranger’s girlfriend?” 

He can’t help raising an eyebrow as you place your makeup down and walk over to him. The title sounds like honey on your tongue. His girlfriend. Fuck. “Yeah? Why’s that, darlin’?”

“Just, you know, she could be busy.” You shrug playfully until you finally get to wrap your arms around his torso, hugging him close, “‘missed you today.” And ain’t that the truest thing. It’s been a long day of missed calls, apologizing texts, angry teenagers demanding their dad. And you wanted to do something to calm yourself down.

“Missed you too, sweetheart,” he smirks, feeling the silk of the night down against his skin, pressing a kiss to your done up hair, “and what’s all this?” He pulls away to spin you around and you let out a laugh.

“Oh, you mean my new set?” You smile, shrugging, “‘s just something I got today. Stella wanted to go to the mall, and there was a really pretty store.”

He looks down at you with a knowing look, suddenly all expressions of tiredness are replaced with lust. “‘M sure it was. Gonna show me what you bought?”

It’s no secret Cordell likes you in white, he’s mentioned it every single time you’ve worn it, and at first you thought he was hunting at something but he was actually being honest, he loves the color on you, says it matches your hair (whatever that means), and that’s how you chose the lace set, the one your display for him as you unwrap the nightgown.

It’s really basic, just a two piece with the intricate lace design on each one, but it’s highly effective the way Cordi’s drinking you in. He looks you up and down before staring into your eyes, “thoughts?”

He leans down urgently to whisper “Gorgeous,” against your lips, pushing you further into the room after slamming the door shut recklessly. You pull away to giggle, hoping the kids are still asleep. Cordi seems to have forgotten all about that. He’s kissing you again, walking back until he hits the bed and sits down, “so beautiful in white, love this, love you.”

He pulls you into his lap, and it seems like he just can’t stop moving his lips hungrily on yours while you’re rocking your hips against him. Cordell’s hands find their way to your waist so he’s moving you and the sudden change causes you to moan against his mouth. “Fuck.”

He changes the position so you’re laying on the bed, your head on the pillow. Once his fixation seems to lessen he moves down to your neck, licking and biting your sensitive skin while you’re running your fingers through his hair like it’ll make him get to the main event. 

He keeps moving down your body, tugging at the bra but not taking it off, running his hands on your waist but not touching below your panties, then he finally gets to your inner thigh and you swear if he doesn’t do something—

Cordi moves the panties to one side, his fingers graze your clit and you arch your back in need. God, oh, fuck, why isn’t he doing anything. “Please, please, Cordi, c’mon.”

“I will, honey, I will.” And just as you’re about tell him lying’s a sin— he abides, his long finger moving to circle your entrance before actually pushing in and your moan takes you both by surprise. “Yeah? You’re so wet for me ‘n I haven’t even done anything. Was this what you wanted, baby girl? Wanted me to come home and find you like this? So fucking pretty, my very own angel.” 

You can’t respond, don’t want to, just need more of him inside you. His fingers, his mouth, anything. “Please.”

“You know I don’t like to keep you waitin’.” He leans down to kiss your lips, your mind’s too hazy to kiss back properly but you try and he finally shoves one more finger into your cunt as you cry out and he swallows your sounds. 

Cordell quickens the pace, his fingers slamming knuckle deep into you and you’re meeting his thrusts with your hips, desperate to come. 

You’ve always been so wet for him, always ready for his fingers, for his cock so he can’t help his growing dick— or ego. Just the sounds coming from you. From your pretty lips. From your pussy.

“Cordi— Cordi, oh god.” You tighten your grip on the bed sheets when his thumb massages your clit, and you have to physically keep from bucking up into it. He’s already going too fast with long, thick fingers pushing into you, hitting you right where you need them, and he knows it too. Knows exactly how to curl his fingers, knows exactly where to kiss and press for you to come undone.

“Please, please, cordi, m’gonna come— ah, cordi—” cordell watches as your orgasm crashes through you and you’re shaking under his touch. He lets you ride it out, his thumb still on your sensitive clit, his careful fingers massaging your sweet spot. Your moans get louder as he doesn’t stop even when you’re completely done. “Cordi— no, no, can’t take it, can’t—”

“You sure, baby girl?” He asks, even if you can tell it isn’t genuine with him still fingering you and your pussy clenching around him almost painfully; he doesn’t care. “‘Cause I think you can take more, right? You gonna be good for me and come again?”

“No, no, no, hurts— ‘s too much,” your hands immediately go to take his off but he holds them down on your stomach, tsking.

“One more, just one more.” And you can’t argue through the bliss and the impending orgasm rushing towards you again, you’re relaxing against Cordi to try and get there faster, chasing the high all over again as he adds another finger.

He leans down to graze his teeth against the unpadded bra, right against your nipples and it sends you over the edge again, his lips sucking greedily at the fabric and relentless thrusting as you cry out.

He slowly reclaims his fingers and you sigh in relief, crashing against the bed. Mumbling about how much you hate him. 

But then again, that cup of coffee you had before he came home wasn’t for nothing, you think as you sit up to get on his lap.

[foxs0x]

I am literally a graphic designer for my career but I couldn't be fucked editing a template, so here's how my art has evolved in the last 12 months!

January - @meanbossart 's Dark Urge

This was the first digital thing I'd done in over a year at this point. I took an extended break from art because my (old) job was ruining my mental health. (Which is why I quit it :D !) And his Drow character is really well thought out and very unique so I had to draw him. (His art is also very inspiring to me so check out his page!)

February - was still in my Baldur's Gate kick and loved that lizard (still do) and it was also my first time doing environmental art. I couldn't figure out how to do the "mood" I was imagining so I had to look up famous movie shots that were noir, dark and moody to figure out what the heck to do.

MORE UNDER THE CUT 👇😁

March - My D&D character Istdrin, a Drow sorcerer who was sexually attracted to spiders... And got eaten by spiders. (I had to make a new character after this 🤣) Rest in peace you sick fuck

April - Astarion, my fave BG3 companion (besides Wyll & Shadow heart!) I wanted to design a fancy suit for him and a modern haircut.

May - my first drawing of my V (Vicentije.) I had just bought Phantom Liberty at this point and was also trying to figure out how to draw him and how I imagine he would look. Alas I am a console player so I can't mod his tattoos in or his face sculpt etc. (but in a few months I'll finally have saved enough money for a PC haha!) he's gone through a few changes design-wise and I'm still tweaking him tbh

June - first art for my fanfic End Transmission

I just finished Phantom Liberty and had this idea brewing in my head. I'd also started writing my fic too! I'm not really happy with V:s face here and I've also since made more changes to his design, so he doesn't even have these tattoos anymore lol! (Except for the 13 on his forehead because he is unlucky)

July (??) (nothing)

August - Johnny Silverhand

I actually did this right before I went to America this year. I was drawing this at the Sydney airport and painting it on the flight to Los Angeles. I am still really happy with how this turned out.

September - I did this in my downtime while in the states. I started drawing the frames in my first week in America (while I was at my aunties house in Los Angeles) and finished it during hurricane Francine in New Orleans!

October - Johnny Silverhand again! I tried drawing a few comic panels of my fanfic End Transmission when I got back to Australia.

November - original character I'm working on. He's an ugly vampire who was an artist in his human life and made very beautiful things.

December (??)

Nothing really for December yet lol! Just lots of wips and ideas I'm still working on

Overall my art has made a HUGE improvement this year. I've been focusing on better quality lines the last two months but all year I've been working on more dynamic poses and colouring!!

[siren-serenity]

ingame voicelines 🌈

what would they say about you? would they murmur sweet compliments or chuckle at your silly mistakes? in which yuu asks these strange students of night raven college about you: and is surprised to find out that they have lovers?

characters: cater diamond, jamil viper, idia shroud, dire crowley, gn!reader warnings: - spoilers for chapter 4! - reader is not yuu! a/n: feedback is appreciated!

"hey hey hey! how are you, yuu? *smiles* have you seen y/n around? i need them for this super cute magicam trend! it's for couples exclusively so i totally need to get y/n and i into this one!...you said they were at the library? okay, thanks!"

"hello yuu *grins* i'm currently on my way to my date with y/n but you said you wanted to ask me something?....'what do our dates look like?' hahaha funny story! so y/n loves sweets, like- seriously loves them. we met through trey since y/n works part-time at his family's bakery. i was so charmed by her beauty that i asked to court them ASAP! they rejected me but gave me a challenge: make them fall in love with me within a month! luckily, with my charming looks and sweet mouth, they accepted!"

"omg look yuu! i need someone to rant to, lmao, so you don't mind if i grab you for a quick five secs? *pauses before getting a nod from yuu* great!! look at this beautiful gift that y/n bought for me the other day! when you press the pendant, it lights up and sends the other person a message! it means you miss them. *the bracelet blinks* OH MY SEVENS!! y/n is so sweet! they're in class but they're able to find time to reply!! *heart eyes* see yuu? y/n is the best s/o anyone could ask for!"

"hello yuu. do you mind tasting this dish? i need to know if i have used the correct ratio of flavoring to balance out the spices since y/n can't handle those...huh? you're asking who is y/n to me? *smiles* they are my lover of almost three years and tomorrow marks our anniversary."

"hmm? 'how did we meet' you ask? well, y/n was actually kalim's fashion designer when it came to the important events he and his parents had to attend sometimes. i met them when they were designing his outfit and i accidentally spilled hot curry on the garment. believe me *chuckle* i was beyond horrified but they were ever so sweet when they accepted my apology."

"oh! prefect yuu, how may i help you? *listening* so you're asking me for dating advice? got your eye on someone in nrc? *laughs* well, my advice is to always maintain communication and don't let things become misunderstood. i learnt that lesson the hard way after my...incident back in scarabia. y/n had to sit me down and i really just- let loose. they comforted me, gave my over-emotional self a quick reality check and by the time the sun was setting, i felt my heart get lighter. *gives yuu a gentle smile* i don't know what i'd do without y/n."

"hahaha! take the L, losers! i got a s/o and y'all dont' LMAOO...*jumps in surprise and shrieks* y-yuu! w-when did y-you arrive? *listening* o-oh? you h-heard everything that i-i said?....shit."

"lmao you're asking me how to get a s/o? newsflash, they came to me! not the other way around! i honestly don't know what part of me did they fall for, but after being together for so long, i don't regret saying 'yes' to their proposal."

"h-huh?! you're a-asking me about w-what do our d-d-dates look like? erm- well, most of the time, we game. like i swear to the sevens, y/n has a magic hand when it comes to the ten-pull summons! like i'm playing this game called we-can't-defeat-the-super-evil-boss-with-the-power-of-friendship-and-love and in just the FIRST SINGLE PULL, they brought home the rarest gacha card ever?! bro they are my personal cheat card!"

"why, good morning to my favorite magicless- I MEAN hello yuu! how can i help you? be quick because i have to get this drink to y/n before it gets cold! see? i'm so generous to my darling, they are so honored to have the one and only me as their lover!"

"where did i meet them? well, at night raven college of course! they were hired as the lecturer for developing 'unique magic' and i fell in love with their uniqueness of their own *laughs heartily* oh, i was such a fool in love."

"hmm...'what do i like most about y/n' you ask? *in deep thought* well, of course i love y/n completely...it's really hard to choose just one...*snaps his fingers and smile* oh! we have this cute ritual every weekend where on the days that our jobs feel like too much, y/n and i will make what you 'youngsters' call a pillow fort! i'll summon some romance books and y/n will make some quick snacks and we'll just read together. sometimes, we'll re-enact some of the book scenes *coughs shyly* BUT we'll not talk about that."

[sexhaver]

ive been playing Cassette Beasts for a minute and it never stops being funny to me how flagrant they are about making this "Pokemon but with features you didn't know Pokemon has always needed". off the top of my head:

super effective/NVE hits have added benefits/debuffs beyond just doubling/halving the damage (hitting Electric types with Ground reduces their evasion and speed, hitting Steel types with Poison gives them poison-coated spikes that do contact damage, etc)

legally-distinct-Pokemon will learn new moves while in your party without having to battle, and you can then straight up steal these moves from them and put them on a not-Pokemon you actually care about using, which gives an actual incentive to hunt down and raise otherwise fringe not-mons beyond completing the not-Pokedex

we all played the Pokemon Infinite Fusion fangame right? we know how fusions work? okay so this game has them as temporary per-battle things instead of permanent ones, which is only marginally less cool while being infinitely easier to balance around

attempting to catch something shows you the percentage chance of success so you know whether you just got unlucky or if you should save your Pokeballs-i-mean-blank-cassette-tapes

leveling up is tied to your not-trainer instead of your not-pokemon, so you don't end up in the classic trap where your starter is way overleveled and everything else is underleveled and then you hit a fight your starter can't solo and have to spend an hour grinding to get the weaker not-mons up to par (funnily enough most Pokemon Nuzlocke romhacks have already figured this out and give you infinite rare candies with the only restriction being that you can't level past the next gym leader's ace pokemon, because Pokemon fans have realized that grinding is the worst part of the game way before Game Freak has)

moves, not-Pokeballs, not-PokeCenter visits, and healing items are all bought using entirely separate currencies which stops you from trivially breaking the economy in half

the soundtrack, fittingly, is pretty good! the vocals were a bit much for my taste but there's an option in the settings menu to straight up turn them off (letting the BGM play on its own), which i've never seen in any other game and really appreciate

downsides:

on a game design level, i understand why can i only carry a max of 5 not-Potions and 1 not-Revive at a time - it's to put a limit on how far away from fast travel points i can get by just running away from everything and healing off damage. on a gameplay level, however, this feels pretty bad

the pixel art style is trying to look as much like Pokemon as possible without actually being Pokemon so the overworld sprites look more like beta stuff from Pokemon that they cut for looking too weird. i have yet to find a haircut that doesn't look bad

this is super petty of me but something about the bloom and lighting of the 3d environments combined with pixelated 2d sprites that still cast shadows makes me painfully aware im playing a video game. it's like they were going for the same aesthetic as Octopath Traveler but fell just barely short. i can't think of a better way to articulate this feeling but if you know you know

it does that really obnoxious half-assed style of voice acting where plot-relevant characters will sometimes (maybe every third or fourth textbox) speak the first two or three words of dialogue before trailing off. mashing through textboxes (as one does) means constantly getting jumpscared by "hmm"s and "haha!"s "okay then!"s

i get that they wanted to make the player feel involved in the story, and it has a pretty decent hook so far, but oh my god. the amount of dialogue "choices" that just transparently do not matter. you know how people memed on Fallout 3 and 4's dialogue choices all leading to the same outcome, to the extent that you were basically choosing between "yes" and "yes (rude)"? and you know how Bethesda would at least attempt to justify how both options led to you accepting the quest anyways, even if it was really dumb? Cassette Beasts has streamlined this process even further by making the options in most of their binary decisions so identical that they don't even require different followup dailogue before rejoining into the main conversation thread. a solid 2/3rds of the dialogue options in this game so far feel like checks that you're still awake. i know this is a minor issue because people aren't playing Pokemon-likes for the engaging "choices matter" approach to storytelling, and i did ignore it at first, but it's so pervasive that you really can't ignore it

[tobiasdrake]

UGH. YOUTUBE HAS MADE THEIR SITE TOO COMPLICATED FOR USERS. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT BEFORE, BACK IN 2005-2009?

Well, they're owned by Google. So. Y'know. Same thing that was wrong with their search engine.

Which is to say, Google has grown beyond the point of sustainability for a publicly-owned company with growth incentives.

The fundamental flaw of the U.S.'s growth-based economy is that it imagines a world in which an infinitely expanding revenue intake is possible to achieve. This, unfortunately, flies in the face of reality.

The way a growth-based economy works is that if your company made 100% of all money that exists on Earth this year, it would have to then make 104% of all money that exists next year. And then 108% of all money the year after that.

This is a problem that isn't apparent for small up-and-coming businesses. How can I grow my company's market? Easy. Expand my customer base. Sell more products to more people.

But there's a ceiling. A point at which infinite forever-growth ceases to be achievable through simply doing business. You already have as many people buying your product as are ever going to buy your product; There is no reasonable avenue available to turn your 50 million customers into 75 million. You've hit a plateau.

Or worse, they already bought your product last year so they don't need to buy it again this year. Why would I need to buy yearly tractors?

That's a problem, because the demands of investors do not let up just because it's not actually possible to keep growing the business by doing business. The guy who put in $30 million expects to get $45 million back out of it. Your job is to make that happen. Nothing else that the business does actually matters. Go grow the market value and get back to me when it's done.

Once a business grows beyond the point of sustainability, that's when it starts having to get creative. If you can't grow the customer base, then you need to find ways to get them to pay more money for less product. Increase revenues and decrease costs while supplying to the same set of customers you were before.

This is why the film and AAA video game industries have lost their goddamn minds. They've long-since passed the point of sustainability.

This is what CEOs mean when they say it's "Too expensive to make games." They don't mean they can't make profit by making games. They mean they can't hit their profit growth goals unless they come up with yet another new way to get the existing base of gamers to pay them even more money this year than they did last year, without proportionally increasing their costs to achieve it.

They need the line to go up. And they can no longer achieve that by doing the thing that their business exists to do.

This is also where things like planned obsolescence come from. Why would I need to buy yearly tractors? Because the tractors are designed on purpose to fall apart after a year so I have to go to the store and buy a new one. That's a solution to the "Everyone already bought my product" problem. An evil solution a problem created by unsustainable economics.

Google, too, is long past the sustainability ceiling, and it's causing them to shit themselves and reveal their true colors. Because Google's customer has never been their users. The users are the product that they sell to advertisers. Their revenue comes from getting your eyes on an advertiser's products. That's it.

And as they continue beyond the sustainability ceiling with each passing year of infinite forever-growth, they're having to pursue more and more nakedly predatory means of churning their userbase into mass-produced views.

Why is their search engine so shitty? Because if you have to search for something five times, you're gonna see five times as many ads. That's good for Google's growth margins.

YouTube is the same. Their algorithm is designed to feed people into loops. Not to show you content they think you'll like to see, but to show you content that will keep you engaged. That will make you watch the next video and the ads that go with it. It's clickbait in video suggestion form.

And it's just going to keep getting worse and worse and worse until either legislation steps in or the bubble pops. Those are the only two futures possible for a company that's beyond the sustainability ceiling. And they've gotten very good at postponing the popping of the bubble.

This, all of this, is what people are talking about when they use the term "late-stage capitalism".

[vypridae]

You seem to be the only one making brokerdoll (thanks for the ship name btw) content, and I wanted to know if you have any more headcannon s, or just general thoughts on the ship. I'm starved for content

okay a. you are so welcome for the ship name i shit you not i spent like ten minutes just being like WHAT DO I CALL THEM because i couldn't figure out a word that would go well with "doll" (as velvette's ship names tend to have in them)

ANYWAY!! HEADCANONS !! i had a post uuuh here (that took me so much longer to find than it should have) of some hcs but here are some more!! (if this took forever to get out i apologize my brain is working at 2 wpm rn and sometimes thinking of hcs is hard)

after they started dating, carmilla starts buying velvette clothes she sees that she thinks velvette will love

spoiler alert: every single piece she buys for vel is exactly her style

i like to imagine carmilla is pleasantly rich, even in comparison to the other overlords, because her weapons and parts and whatnot just sell super well

so she gets so much money to spoil velvette with and she UTILIZES it

velvette's love language i imagine is acts of service or getting gifts (she knows they love her when they get her stuff) and carmilla's is gift giving, which neither of them seemed to realize until velvette literally squealed in joy when carmilla bought her a jewellery set she'd been wanting for FOREVER

also since singing is apparently just a canon thing in the hazbin universe, i cannot for the life of me stop imagining pre-relationship velvette sneaking vox's camera footage from inside carmilla's bunker(?) (of which he got velvette, conveniently, to put there after the overlord meeting) onto her phone just to listen to carmilla sing over and over and over again.

vox and val HAVE walked into her room to see her with her phone sitting on her dresser, watching the same footage of carmilla singing out for love for the 138147985th time

(they don't question it because lets be real they have their obsessions too)

post-relationship, velvette probably posts a bunch of fake online drama about her and carmilla because she thinks its funny to see people being like OMG??? WHAT NO WAY

carmilla is like "cariño why are you posting that we broke up. again." and velvette is like "just for funsies, babe <3"

velvette probably ends up showing carmilla how to use social media because let's be so fr she probably has no clue

velvette loves running her fingers through carmilla's hair and probably has just as much fun actually doing it up as carmilla has with velvette's

painting nails ?? carmilla paints velvette's and paints little white swirl designs over the black polish and velvette draws cute little pink hearts on carmilla's

(yes, they do both get questioned about it)

velvette probably wanted to start a friends w/ benefits (or enemies with benefits) relationship with carmilla but she knew for a fact carmilla would deny INSTANTLY

ok look they aren't married but matching rings ... carmilla wears hers as a necklace and velvette shows off her ring (that she keeps saying is "marriage proposal material" when its not) to literally everyone forever

possessive carmilla? only slightly. she glares daggers and probably throws said daggers at anyone who tries anything to velvette

pre-relationship velvette pining she progressively started sitting closer and closer to carmilla during meetings until she was in the chair next to her like zestial is during ep 3

(she lies out her ass and says it's "so i can annoy her easier, obviously" but she's just gay)

(carmilla starts noticing when velvette starts arriving to meetings earlier rather than later so she can get the seat she wants)

also velvette probably ended up convincing staticmoth to stay away from overlord meetings specifically so they can't tease her for being head over heels in hate-love with carmilla when she's in the same vicinity as her (of which they agree with because its more time for them to do What Ever The Fuck Their Gay Asses Do)

(also vox has cameras set up at the meeting room)

(guess who gets teased to heaven and back by two (2) overlords when she gets home)

(they both know the struggles of a weird obsession with another demon, they know how to poke and prod at velvette until she admits her gayness to them)

they probably ended up convincing her to confess tbh

(which doesnt happen for Several Years, probably)

either that, or carmilla finds a letter on her chair in the meeting room signed "~V" and opens it and it just says "we should be homos" or something stupid like that AJHAKASHJ

firm hc that velvette cannot confess for her fucking life . she doesnt like being vulnerable

lucky for her, carmilla 100% sends back a letter thats signed with "C. Carmine" and says "We can date, if that's what you mean by "being homos"" or something HAHAHASGFJ

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

For several years now I’ve been wanting to buy a knotted dildo (why do they never have smaller ones) but my dad often helps me with finances because I’m really bad at math and I would be super embarrassed if he found out. I doubt he would be mad at finding out I’m a monsterfucker, but it WOULD be super awkward, especially since a lot of knotted ones are labeled “dog” I don’t want my family to have an even worse impression before I can explain! Maybe it would be easier if I could drive and try to find in-person shops and pay in cash, but I have a health problem that makes me driving illegal sometimes, so that’s not a practical option. I know you aren’t supposed to use things that weren’t designed to go inside of your body, but I’ve been using an old detachable razor handle for years because of this. I don’t know what to do! I don’t think my dad pays much attention to what I buy but if something is flagged as unusual by the bank, they will sometimes call him about it. I’m not sure what I should do. I haven’t even bought a regular sex toy because I’m self conscious about this, let alone one like that!

I’m the “my dad helps me balance my checkbook and I’m terrible at math but I want a dildo” anon, and you don’t have to post this part if it’s too uncomfortable. That’s why i didn’t include it in my first ask. But the only time I had a friend offer to help me buy one that friend later died before it could happen so… I don’t really have anyone around to ask for assistance in… this. I know these aren’t your usual confessions, but i don’t really know where else to confess to this. The only other friend I think might possibly have helped me, moved a state away and i don’t want to bother her about it. I joke about being a freak sometimes but I really doubt my older family who might have heard me say that actually expects me to consider “freaky” something beyond oral. I’m not… I’m shy and wasn’t raised by people who were into much extreme stuff (my parents didn’t even swear around us until we were all over 16, and even now they don’t do it much! There are slurs I didn’t even know existed until senior high and my parents never used them! For obvious reasons. Which is good, but gives an idea of what I mean when I say not extreme. Even my grandparents are/were like this) so I’ve been told that it’s surprising when i tell a friend about these things for the first time. Coming out as demisexual wasn’t nearly as stressful to be honest, that might be weird but admitting my (admittedly not super exciting among this community) kinks feels shameful and humiliating for some reason. Telling a close friend is different I guess. My parents aren’t conservative people, not politically or in many other ways, but they definitely don’t know much about kinks. I can say that with confidence, I’ve read the romance novels my mom had lying around and I’ve seen them react genuinely shocked when something a little crazy happens in a show we’re watching. I just think I might have super vanilla family (in the 25 years I lived with them the most spicy things I encountered were those romance novels and what might have been lube) and I’m sure they would react, if not badly, just awkwardly. It would be super uncomfortable. They are the kinds of people to hear about that, look slightly horrified, say “okay” and just avoid talking about it after that, but every time a conversation gets too close to that everyone is awkward and avoids it. It’s like when someone is trying to talk about politics and everyone has to kind of bite their tongue or a shouting match will start while we’re trying to watch the mandalorian, just less aggressive, so not exactly the same, just similarly uncomfortable. This one also got longer than I meant it to. I don’t expect that my parents would disown me or anything, but it would change some things (although because my mom and I accidentally shared a kindle account when I was in highschool I’m pretty sure she knows I’m into monster romance novels) sex isn’t really a taboo topic, but it’s also not a comfortable one

[tomboyjessie13-artblog]

For anyone who are wondering why this was reposted, it's because the original version had a belly dancer outfit being used as a courtesan outfit and didn't realize that it was a negative stereotype until 6 days later. So, I had to remove the drawing and edit out the outfit with an edited evening dress from her first fashion chart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a remake to a fashion chart I made last November: Link

I've taken the liberty of fixing and replacing outfits I've lost interest in, but I left the original alone for historical purposes. It would've been done a week and two days earlier had it not been for an error I made that caused me to get angry and sick before my time of the month hit, also distractions and being tired. But it's all good now, so onto the drawing.

- Overcoat: I actually went ahead and remade her leather jacket into an Alaska leather long coat, the reason for that is because I fell out of love with the previous design as it looked too much like an Organization XIII cloak, that and I'd just found out that Cairo has a bit of a conservative dress code, so why not? Also, I just think it's neat. I've also gave her a pair of sunglasses that would later become Kakyoin's, inspired by my fanfic.

- Main outfit: What she mostly wears under her overcoat in her arc, her outfit mostly consists of a zipper dress, six arm bands, thigh high boots, biker gloves, spiked bracelet, chained choker, all made of leather. And is complimented by three golden bracelets, ankh shaped earrings, fishnet stockings, and gold and black makeup that shapes the eye of Ra. Basically, she sort of looks like an 80's biker/goth chick.

- Mesh top: The first outfit I've drawn when coming up with more goth inspired outfits for Eris, which consists of a black crop tank top with matching pants, platform boots, silver accessories, wristbands, a Debbie Gibson hat, and a bluish green mesh top with purple make up and nails, loosely inspired by X-Men Evolution's Rogue.

- Fishnet dress: The second outfit I've drawn when coming up with more goth inspired outfits for Eris, which consists of a black form-fitting dress with a fishnet neckline, fishnet sleeves(which are hidden with a different black coat), fishnet leggings, and longer platform boots with belts. She also has her hair put up and wears green nails and makeup.

- Leather corset: The third outfit that actually came from an incorrect quote I've written on August 1st. She mostly wears the same accessories as her first outfit, except the attire is replace with a leather corset, a crop top, black jeans, short boots, and red nails and make up. I actually gave her a mesh top underneath because the outfit felt incomplete.

- Pajamas: There's isn't much to this one, just a button-down night shirt that covers her arms and torso and doesn't wear makeup and jewelry, the only difference now is that she's wearing pajama pants since the original didn't look right to me now.  - DIO's Food: Forgive me for the dehumanizing title, but this is what DIO refers to his women in his harem, being treated like cattle to keep a Vampire well fed. This is also what Eris wore when she met DIO and how she became one of his favorite lovers and servants after awakening her Stand. As you can tell by the age, she's been serving him longer than my other OC Medea King.

- Lady of the night: This is the outfit that Eris used to wear when she worked as a worker at the "bathhouse" DIO bought for money laundering and buying his "meals", it's mostly a bright magenta colored evening dress with matching shoes and earrings, gold and silver jewelry, sheer leggings, and a dark blue leather jacket. She will later stop wearing this color after becoming an agent.

Eris Raitt belongs to me Anime base belongs to Rainfall-Bases Blank base here: BASE 272 - girl with no boots by Rainfall-Bases on DeviantArt

[glassmarcus]

Sony's Z Targetable Weak Spot

As someone who has been playing Sony games for 20 years, it's weird how little attachment I have to their brand. I got a Playstation 2 so I could play Kingdom Hearts, but bought plenty of other games for it because that console is the Greatest of All Time. I've gotten every one of their consoles since then, yet I don't consider myself a Sony fan like I consider myself a Nintendo fan. I love Sly Cooper, I like Uncharted, I adore Bloodborne. On paper I should be a Sony pony, but I’m in no way ride or die. I think there's three reasons for this.

1) A lot of Sony properties aren't actually Sony properties. When I think early PlayStation, I think Final Fantasy, Metal Gear, Spyro, Parappa the Rappa and Crash Bandicoot. Sony owns none of these. They had exclusivity initially, but after 20 years of being multi-platform/those franchises not existing anymore, it's hard to link any association to Sony. Though I still do think of Final Fantasy 7 as a Sony game due to the recent remakes. Even Kingdom Hearts, a game I bought a PS2 to play, stopped being a franchise exclusive to Sony within like 2 years. Their early reputation ends up feeling like stolen valor because they just happened to be only 3rd party friendly console available at the time.

2) Most of their franchises are dead. The last Sly Cooper Game ended on a cliff hanger and was never seen again. Naughty Dog would rather make The Last of Us for the 4th time than craft another Uncharted or Jak game. Bloodborne will never be on a modern console because we simply can't have nice things. This makes brand association much harder to maintain. No one really cares about what Intellectual Properties you own if you do nothing with them. I'm not a Zelda fan just because I played Oracle of Seasons when I was 4, I'm a Zelda fan because Nintendo groomed me to be one by releasing games regularly. No Sony franchise other than maybe Ratchet and Clank operates this way.

3) A lot of their IPs during 7th gen were just not for me. Kill Zone isn't my kind of game. Resistance isn't my speed. Little Big Planet is a game that is my speed, but it's a bad game so I never got into it. This is all very personal taste based, but it's why most of my PlayStation 3 collection is overwhelmingly 3rd party.

For all these reasons the Sony brand is a bit weak. Which is why the premise of Astro Bot is perplexing. Astro Bot as a franchise exist to display Sony tech. The Astro Playroom games are primarily tech demos for PlayStation Camera, PlayStation VR, and Dualsense technologies. The Astro Bot games are the ones which are full stand alone games. I haven't played Astro Bot Rescue Mission, but it seems to be very similar in structure to Astro Bot and doesn't have any proof of concept it needs to show off. But its still a VR, game so I can't comment much on that as I have yet to accept VR as a real way to play games.

Astro Bot is a follow up to the PlayStation 5 pack in game, Astro's Playroom. Instead of being a large tech demo, it is a fully realized platformer that is solid across the board. The game is near perfect as far as 3D platformers go. Each level has fleshed out ideas with unique level mechanics and set pieces. The motion control gimmicks are reigned in, unlike Playroom which got a little nuts with it. There is whimsy and charm in every corner of the galaxy in the world of Astro Bot. As a game I have very little to complain about and endless things to enjoy about it. Based on the presentation, structure, and polish, you could give Astro a Mario skin and skint your eyes to fool yourself into thinking it's Mario Galaxy 3. It's that good with really the only difference in design philosophy being that there are more collectibles in Astro Bot. As someone who prefers the Mario Galaxy games over the Sandbox Mario games, but still likes collecting things, this is the platonic ideal.

As a game, this is the most impressed I've been in years. The way Astro Bot used the PS5’s SSD should be required study for anyone developing on that console. It's doing everything right. But it's not just a game. It's Sony's 30th anniversary game. As such tries it's best to display Sony's rogues gallery of IPs and partners. Astro does a wonderful job in that display. Over a hundred unique costumes are given to the robots you collect, all of them being references to Sony and Sony adjacent characters. These robots both look and act the part and it's fun going through the game seeing which of them you can recognize. In addition to that, there are 5 stages which are dedicated entirely to a certain franchise, one for each of their past consoles (except the Vita because I guess it didn’t sell enough). Ape Escape represents PlayStation 1. God of War represents PlayStation 2. Loco Roco represents the PlayStation Portable. Uncharted reps the Playstation 3, and Horizon reps the Playstation 4. These are all delightful levels which show great reverence to the series they are parodying. These levels and the game entirely ended up feeling like a glorified advertisement for their IPs. And you know what, that's great. I'm completely down with the Astro Bot franchise existing to be phenomenal games that shill other games. If this could be the Lego Movie of video games, I'd sleep perfectly fine every night.

But what actually are they advertising here? Most of these franchises aren't Sony franchises. Most of these Sony IPs haven't seen the light of day in decades. There are still glaring omissions here. There needs to be way more RPGs here if we want to represent PlayStation accurately. The more I think about it, the sadder I get. It's like we're throwing a house party at a funeral. It's like we're being peddled mythical goods which have vanished from history a millennia ago. You can't show me Jak, remind me he has been dead for 20 years, and then just move on. They haven't even rereleased the Jak games. How am I supposed to confirm that I still don't like Jak 2 if you don't give me an avenue to play it Sony? It all just amounts to embarrassing false advertising. Say what you will about Super Smash Bros, most of the those games are proud supported IPs which have games I can play right now, and I say this as a Kid Icarus and Punch Out fan.

This in no way ruins the game or makes it lesser by the way. I think think it's perverse how Sony decided to fund a game that pointed out exactly how it has been slacking in regards to its IP management.

[zerofuckingwaste]

Let's talk about the fast fashion industry. Specifically, the duplicitous, copycat nature of many companies- the likes of Shein and such.

I'm betting you've seen an ad like this before:

A piece of clothing you would love to have and wear, not only great aesthetics, but comfy looking too. It looks official, too- it's between two news articles from reputable papers, and it has the word "Official" on it, and it's a sponsored ad- how could it afford to be all sponsored if it wasn't legit, right?

Let's take a look at the actual listing.

It's got a number of pictures, which lends further to its air of legitimacy. The material is unfortunately listed as polyester- aka plastic- and there is very little detail on the obviously intricate design, the fit, etc. Upon closer inspection, it's all very vague. And, it's under $50- a price tag which should raise red flags, for being suspiciously inexpensive.

If we take two seconds to do a Google lens search, we find the following:

Suddenly, we have a listing that makes sense. Nearly $700, with a description that goes into detail not only on the design (complete with the name of the designer) and style (including information on the fit), but the materials- 100% natural linen and ramie, both renewable, non plastic resources.

Doing a deeper dive into the legitimate retailer, we find the following:

There's a lot more, but it all essentially boils down to "this is a carbon neutral company dedicated to transparency, using renewable resources, and ethical labor practices". Compare that to the shady site, which offers no such assurances, instead boasting about low prices... Which usually can only happen by under paying over worked laborers, not compensating designers, and using non renewable, cheap, and low quality materials.

Yes, the price tag for the real thing is high. REALLY high. But that is the cost of wearing what is essentially a piece of art. Buying fast fashion as a way to get around that price tag is a great way to promote unethical labor practices, low quality non renewable resources, and not compensating the artists who work so hard to design these things. Only occasionally purchasing clothes you actually need/want, so that you cultivate a wardrobe that will last you decades if not a lifetime and beyond, will allow you to save money, and support ethical practices and renewable materials, and as a bonus, you'll craft a closet full of things you actually want to wear, with no duds.

You can only wear one outfit a day. You don't need to buy new clothes all the time. You don't need hundreds of pieces of clothing, you would be surprised how little you need. I am far from a minimalist- I would say I'm a maximalist- yet all of my clothes fit in half a dresser and half a closet, with room to spare, and yet in combination, I have a seemingly endless amount of options for outfits. So, why fill your closet with half assed crappy clothing that will fall apart and go to a landfill in a few months, wasting your money and time, when you can instead thoughtfully choose good pieces of clothing that will last forever, meaning you don't need to buy more clothing to replace it ever again?

$700 is a lot of money. It's the same as 14 of those $50 plastic dresses. But keep in mind, those $50 dresses are of bad quality, with uncomfortable material; you'll throw them out within months, at most a few years. But that $700 dress is made of light, breathable cloth, thoughtfully made to be quite comfortable as well as beautiful- it's these kinds of dresses that will end up being passed to your children when you die, because they're still good as new. I have dresses that my grandmother bought in the 70's in my closet, that have at most needed a button replaced in the last 50 years since.

Think about it this way: that dress that you have to save up for can last a lifetime and beyond, in your closet, or someone else's that you pass it to- the dress that you can buy without a second thought will also last a lifetime and beyond... In a landfill.

Don't waste your money on fast fashion. Spend it wisely, supporting good business practices, and cultivating a wardrobe you'll actually be able to enjoy for years to come.

[hazbinextgeneration]

(John) Doe Eyed Ch5 Doe Date

Art of Smore by me

This was possibly the happiest point of her life. She's never felt so happy before. 

The next day she got up and ready for her date. It's been so long since she's actually gone out on one you know. And this guy was pretty cute. And she didn't sense any red flags from him, at least not yet. That's what dates were for y'know. To get to know someone else and see if you meshed well enough to start a relationship. He seemed nice enough and was honest when she asked him things. Which was more than she could say about others she went out with. Also she kinda promised him that she would give him a chance. Even if they didn't mesh them they could be friends, and she could definitely use some friends other than Rose in this new place. So she got up and got herself ready and headed out the door. Only to blink and pause.

Doe was already there.

He was right there at the bus stop outside her apartment. As soon as he saw her he gave a full armed wave. After a moment Fae shook her head moving a few long white locks of hers before smiling and approaching him.

"John! You're here! I wasn't expecting you so early! I thought you were going to call me first! I did give you my number!"

"I wanted to see you!," He gushed as she approached clasping his hands in front of him smiling widely, "Did you get the gift I left you?"

She blinked. "Huh? What gift?"

He suddenly looked a bit nervous. "Er... Nevermind. That'll probably come later."

She shook that off. "Well anyways, Im a bit hungry." She gestured to the left. "How about we head over to a small burger place near here? It has pretty good food."

He instantly nodded. "I'D LOVE TO!!"

She giggled again and grabbed his hand Which made his eyes go wide. "C'mon. I'll show you where it is."

Fae pulled him along behind her..and his expression became more love struck almost melting in her hold and pupils changing into red hearts. She pulled him along with her a few streets over and stopped at the small food court. Sweet! They were already selling burgers! She bought two of them, one for herself and Doe. Both ended up just sitting on a nearby bench with said food.

"So John?" He looked at her in question as he ate, cheeks puffed out as he ate. "What do you do for work?" He tilted his head with a questioning brow. "Y'know. Work? I work at the gas station you met me. Where do you work?"

He smiled. "Oh! I don't work anywhere!"

"Oh...So you work from home? Or are you self employed?" 

"You could say both!"

"That's pretty cool! I dunno many people who are self employed. So are you like a web designer or a constructor?"

"I am..." he stopped to blink and gain a thoughtful look. Seeming to wonder how to say something before smiling again. "I am a collector!"

"Oh? Oh! You mean you work with collectables?" That was pretty good for a job. The right market for whatever collectors were looking for could be worth thousands of dollars if not more. "What kind of collections do you work in? Cars? Antiques? Figurines?"

"All kinds of stuff! I find lots of things!" He then took another bigger bite of the burger. Oh. So he dabbled in all kinds of things? Neat. 

"That actually sounds pretty cool. It must be pretty hard to find some rare items I bet! I had a few jobs myself. Before working at the station I was a housekeeper for a hotel but before that I worked at a Dollar T.J.'s for a bit. I wanted to be an artist but unfortunately money, time, and college really put that plan down the drain. I-I still do it professionally just..more freelance." Fae cleared her throat as she caught him staring at her. "S-Sorry. You probably don't like me rambling on about things." 

"Oh no!" She blinked as he smiled widely. "I like it when you talk to me!"

She blinked surprised. "Really?" He nodded. No one had ever told her THAT before. "Oh. Ok! Um...So why did you decide to become a collector?"

"I like finding things! You never know what you dig up!" Oh. That seemed like a good enough reason. He tilted his head at her. "What do you like?"

"Oh...Well I like lots of things." She rambled on counting on her hands. "I like mystery movies especially Sherlock Holmes movies, it's fun to try and guess who's the criminal. I also like drawing of course but you could probably guess that by now. Walking around and seeing everything is pretty good too I guess." She smiled wider at him. "I also like rabbits. I even have one back home. His name's Smore. What about you? And pets?"

He shook his head. "I like baby rats!"

Rats? ...Well some people had mice and rats as pets. She guessed it wasn't much too different from a hamster or gerbil. "Oh. .. Can't say I share that sentiment but everyone likes different animals. What do you like to do for fun?"

"Walks. And collect things!"

"What kind of things do you collect?"

"Anything I find interesting. Sometimes bottles. Sometimes furniture. It depends on if I like it." Seemed like he was pretty open to a lot of things. That was a good thing.

"I like collecting things too!"

"You do?" He lit up.

Fae nodded. ''I like collecting cute little things to decorate my room or murder mystery books or movies. I also like getting art supplies."

"AMAZING!!"

She ended up giggling at him which made him smile more. "I guess so. But I do have one question. What made you want to ask me out?" He again tilted his head as she gestured to herself. "I don't really get asked out a lot, usually people aren't very interested in my .. strange looks."

"I LOVE HOW YOU LOOK!!" She blinked back to him as he gushed. "You look so pretty!! And you're so nice to me! I like that!"

....Fae blinked. "You mean.." Her brow raised. "You .. Don't think my hair being white is weird? Or makes me look weird?" He shook his head. "Really?"

"Really! I've seen much, much, MUCH weirder things! And as a human you look so normal to me!"

As a human? Strange way of putting it but still..the message was so...nice. She hadn't ever heard someone else be so..Normal about her strange looks or the nearly constant eye bags she had. That was...so nice of him. 

"That... might've been the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

He blinked. "Really? I'm so happy to be the first one to say that!"

"Yeah..Um." she shook her head bashfully looking away. "So what exactly did you wanna do after this?"

He again seemed to think for a moment. "....I like TV! You like movies! Ms. Ivy once told me the library lets you have movies! Let's get some and watch them together!"

Fae's smile grew wider. "Y-Yeah! That's not a bad idea! I can introduce you to Snore too! You'll love my bunny! He's like super friendly!"

"I'D LOVE TO!!"

The rest of the day was so, so happy! She never felt so...heard out by someone before. It was nice to have someone who actually listened to what she had to say. They took that trip to the Library and got those movies. Although she had him pick out a few too. It wouldn't be fair if she picked all of them. He picked up a documentary on...rodents? And some cartoon of a cooking rat? Well different people had different likes. However there was one weird thing that happened when she lead him to her apartment. Smore had initially hoped up to said door, but had taken one look at John, squeaked out in terror, before running his way up the stairs back towards the second floor of the apartment. 

"Smore!? Hey, wait!...That was so weird. Usually he's really friendly." She turned back to John who blinked. "I guess he's just skittish being in a new place. I'll just go get some snacks. Why don't you just go ahead and put in one of the movies?" She gestured to the TV. 

He happily nodded and made his way over towards it as Fae smiled and went into the kitchen. She remembered she bought chips and stuffed them on top of the fridge. As she walked in a foul rotting smell instantly hit her making her recoil and stumble back. A hand quickly flew to her mouth and she nearly screamed when she looked around and saw the source of the smell on the floor. Some kind of.. rotten bloody meat mess was there on her floor.

"EW! What is that?! It smells so bad!" Oh gods she felt like she was going to vomit out the Burger she ate. "Oh gods. I think Im going to be sick."

UCK!! She..She must've accidentally left out some meat and forgotten about it and it went bad as a result. She coughed a few times covering her nose and stumbling to the cabinets for cleaning supplies. She needed to get it cleaned up first. It's amazing what some trash bags and bleach could do and after a while it was gone and all cleaned up. The smell faintly lingered in the air alongside the bleach but it was certainly better than what it was a few moments ago. Once done she was able to get the snacks and walk back into the living room where John was waiting for her. He smiled and patted the seat next to him and she smiled sitting down and handing him one of the bags of chips. Which he happily accepted it. The movie with the cooking rat was on and she relaxed back to watch it with him. This was nice. 

And it continued to be.

That date turned into agreeing to lunch next week. Which turned into going to the movie theater three days after that. Which turned into a movie marathon night a week after than. Which turned into a picnic two days later. He was honest and open and listened to her. It was...so refreshing! He was also so... Different. But in a way she loved. He seemed confused sometimes or didn't understand some things at first but that wasn't a deal breaker at all. He also seemed clingy and a bit too eager to hug and hold hands but she kept reinforcing her boundaries and he seemed to get it after awhile. Just resulting in holding hands and the occasional hugs or cuddling . It was..so nice. He was even nice enough to gift her something-

"This is for you!" She blinked as he held up an old slightly dirty glass cherry cola bottle. "You said you liked cherries!"

Fae blinked..but accepted it slowly with a smile. "Aw. How sweet. It looks pretty old too. Maybe an antique." She smiled wider holding it to herself. It'll be a cute little vase to put some fake flowers in after she cleaned it up a little bit. "And you remembered what I said I liked. That's so sweet of you."

She then leaned over and his eyes widened in awe as two soft lips pressed against his cheek. She smiled at him and watched as his hand slowly reached up to touch his cheek where she kissed him... Before breaking out into the biggest grin she'd ever seen on him and squealed out as he suddenly hugged her to him.

"I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!"

"You seem happy."

Fae blinked out of her day dream and blinked back to her cousin whom smiled knowingly at her. Rose had stopped by her work on her way to make a delivery and Fae had spaced out happily for a moment. Typical Fae.

"What's got you smiling like that?"

Fae blinked before smiling wider. "Oh nothing much. It just might be that...Well.." she suddenly smiled wider and gushed out. "I MET SOMEBODY!!"

Rose blinked before she too broke out in a large grin. "You're serious? Who?!'

"His name's John!," Fae explained with a smile, "We met on the bus! Oh Rose! He's perfect! He's so sweet and cute! And he listens to me all the time and so thoughtful! I've honestly never met anyone like him!"

"Hey! That's amazing news! I'm so happy for you! I'll have to stop by sometime and meet him myself just to see the man who's making my cousin smile like a clown on laughing gas."

She'd love to introduce her boyfriend to her family! But she'd ask him first to see if he was comfortable with the idea first. They were supposed to meet up again that Saturday so she'd ask him then. However an unexpected storm rolled in. Rain thundered out. Lightning clashed across the sky. And dark clouds the sky. She hoped John was doing ok. She know he said he didn't have a phone but she wished he could call her, even from payphone to cancel plans or at least let her know he was ok. She's been waiting for nearly two hours now on the sofa waiting for John. She certainly hoped he wasn't caught up in the storm. Maybe he was just running late? Smore wasn't helping at all just cowering upstairs. ...Funny. He did that whenever John was around too which was strange. He was usually so friendly to everyone he met- She was pulled out of her thoughts as a soft knocking sound came from the door making her instantly look up. She barely heard it from over the ran and thunder.

"John!"

She lit up immediately and bounded to the door throwing it open only to see... Nothing? She blinked as nothing but the inside of her building met her. Dark but lit up whe

never lightning struck out lightning it all up briefly. But...no one was there? Was she just hearing things? Fae flinched when a loud prr like sound came from by her feet making her look down.

And she shrieked as a giant single eyeball blinked up at her.

[everygame]

Wizard of Wor 

Developed/Published by: Dave Nutting Associates / Midway Released: 5/06/1981 Completed: n/a Completion: Played it a bunch? Version Played: Midway Arcade Origins

The Xbox 360 marketplace is dead.

Now, I know that’s a strange way to begin an article about an arcade game from 1982, but it’s the reason why I played it. With Microsoft shuttering its Xbox 360-specific digital storefront, I was driven to pick up any games that I hadn’t made a point of picking up already, and was surprised to find a couple of things. Firstly, that the Xbox 360 was, for me, largely a system I played before ever starting writing this project, and secondly I probably had about everything I ever wanted for it, bar things that I wasn’t willing to shell out for–and in many cases, those would remain backwards compatible on Xbox One/Xbox Series, which means that if I was desperate to play them I could buy an Xbox One for probably cheaper than you can get a 360 now.

What this meant, ultimately, was that I ended up going completely off piste and buying a Kinect for $10 so I could make sure to download a bunch of “Kinect Labs” games before they became totally inaccessible, but while I was doing that I realised I was unclear if I bought anything on the backwards compatible store after the old marketplace shut down if I could get it on my Xbox, so just in case I picked up Midway Arcade Origins, which, shockingly, is the latest collection to feature some of the greatest games of all time–Defender, Robotron 2084, you know what I’m talking about–and it came out in 2012!

It seemed worth a fiver.

Now, to quickly capsule review it: it’s… barely worth a fiver. It comes from the most bare-bones era of collections, with no filters or anything (though don’t forget you can run an Xbox 360 on a CRT. I did, for years) and to be honest I’m not sure about how good the emulation actually is. I also forgot that the Xbox 360 d-pad is absolute bobbins.

But no matter. I have it now, so I thought I’d play Wizard of Wor.

Designed by Dave Nutting Associates, whom I last had a run in with discussing their version of Taito’s Western Gun in exp. 2601, Wizard of Wor is a game that made me realise that I was probably a little harsh on 1978’s Fire Truck, because this is probably only the second co-op action game ever–and it’s a shooter. I mean Dave Nutting and Tom McHugh basically made Doom here.

Well, sort of. Really, Wizard of Wor exists in the context of Berzerk, which is really the first sort of hint to what games would eventually become. Designed by Alan McNeil, himself once a Dave Nutting Associates employee, in Berzerk you run around randomly-generated screens shooting robots and trying to avoid “Evil Otto” who appears if you dally too long. There’s no much to it, but it featured a synthesised speech chip telling arcade patrons it had “detected” coins in their pocket, and was suitably different from the more restricted, focused play in Pac-Man or Galaxian.

I suspect–though look, I’m just hypothesising–that Dave Nutting Associates felt they couldn’t take an ex-employee creating a hit lying down, and decided to do them one better, with Wizard of Wor similar in some respects but with more graphics, more monsters, more design, more speech (and good lord does it never shut up–though it’s hard to actually understand compared to Berzerk) and even co-op play.

Although fondly remembered, Wizard of Wor is… clumsy–and it’s not just that player one starts on the right. Taking Bezerk’s play but crushing it into a Pac-Man like maze with large graphics mean there isn’t a ton of room for manoeuvre, and trying to move your “worrior” into position–or even just around corners–is honestly rather frustrating. Enemies move around randomly and you don’t want to walk into them, and while the game (strangely) has a “bump” mechanic where if you are “between” spaces as you move into enemies you bump back, you end up having to turn corners, head away from enemies, and only then turn around to shoot them, and it’s slow.

The trick, really, is that the game doesn’t really work unless you’re playing it in two-player. While you can accidentally kill each other, the trick is to constantly play with your back to each other meaning that, technically, you should never be caught unawares. But there’s actually another little trick to the game–it features line-of-sight on all but the weakest enemies, meaning you have to rely on an on-screen radar, making doing things like turning corners even more dangerous (and annoying), so even then you aren’t completely safe.

The goal–such as there is one–is to clear each screen and when possible kill the bonus “worluk” creatures who grant you double score on the next screen, and keep that chain going, accepting that certain screens (“The Pit” which has no walls) and rare appearances from the Wizard of Wor (who teleports around) will act as harsh skill checks for even well coordinated co-op players.

The thing about Wizard of Wor is that it’s… fine. It’s just simple enough to make you want to play it more, but it’s also just annoying enough to make you want to stop. It’s very close to something great, but it would Eugene Jarvis who would get there, taking Berzerk to the next level truly with Robotron 2084 just a year later.

Will I ever play it again? That all said, if you see this in the arcades it’ll be a jolly old time in co-op if you can find someone dedicated to trying for a high score with you.

Final Thought: A weird thing about Dave Nutting is that not only is this huge name in the early days of arcade games, he also designed the Jeep Wagoneer, so is in some respects at fault for the rise of the SUV and global warming by creating a car that literally got eleven miles to the gallon. 

Hmm. Seems bad!

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi! You can pick up digital copies of exp., a zine featuring all-exclusive writing at my shop, or join as a supporter at just $1 a month and get articles like this a week early.

[ryotaiku]

My retro setup

If you're a retro person younger than me, you probably emulate old games on your laptop, or even your phone. But I'm a freak, so I set up space in my room to play old games on original-ish hardware. This is by no means the easiest method or even that much more authentic than just emulating, but the vibes are nice. Lemme give you a tour.

The first thing you may notice is I don't use a CRT. I do have a Sony Trinitron, and I even tried to get it set up, but I'm in a basement and getting it down here requires renting an industrial dolly designed for stairs. So I compromised and snatched a 2006 Olevia flatscreen from my dad. Flatscreens are honestly more nostalgic to me than CRTs anyway, and they're much more practical to use. They're lighter, more compact, and they have an ungodly number of inputs. The speakers aren't great though, so I also put in a soundbar.

I really wanted to use the Sharp Aquos you see cropped out on the right, but it sadly won't turn on. I plug it in occasionally in the hopes that it someday just starts working again, but alas. I really like that TV too.

The consoles! These are all plugged into an S-video adapter unless stated otherwise. From top-left to bottom-right.

I'm honestly not sure why I hooked up the Sega Dreamcast. Probably because I had space for it. I could hard-mod it, which is surprisingly easy to do, but most everything worth playing on the system has a better version on another platform. So it's there as a filler. If I ever get a Sega Saturn I'll probably replace it with that.

I was gonna put in a Sega Genesis, but the Olevia weirdly doesn't have the channels required to read any coaxial systems. So I went even more compact and bought a Retron 3. I had a Retron 2 HD that could play NES/SNES games, but the composite would only output in black & white. So I just bought a new one with no HD compatibility that also supported Genesis carts. All three slots utilize flashcarts to maintain the health of both the console and my individual games. This is the only console plugged in through composite.

The GameCube was the first console I modded when I got the idea for this setup. I do unfortunately have to use my copy of Twilight Princess to run the mod, but that may change as m.2 loaders for the system get developed. I also have a GBA flashcart I could plug into the Game Boy Player beneath it, but that's currently in my actual GBA.

The Xbox is an eldritch nightmare and I highly advise against any form of modding. I bricked it on accident trying to help a streamer unlock the region on his, and the process of unbricking it was such a goddamn nightmare that I refuse to do any further mod fuckery. Anyone who said this is the best modded console ever is a liar. Most games worth playing on this system are backwards compatible on Xbox One/Series X, so it's mainly here for insurance whenever Microsoft decides to shut those consoles down.

The N64 doesn't have much special going on. It's got a flashcart and I have some Hyperkin controllers for four-player shenanigans, though last time I used the system it would reset on its own. I think one of the controllers has a reset button in its stick or something, which is a really irresponsible place to put a reset button. Ah well.

Hey why do you have a PS3 plugged in? That's hardly retro.

Well technically the PS3 fits the vibe in a 2000s-era retro space, and I'm sure some of you can feel your skin wrinkle as I say that. But the real reason it's there is to play PS1 games. Theoretically a PS3 can be softmodded to play PS1 ROMs off a USB drive, but I could never get that to work. Lemme know if you got it working and how. In the meantime I can at least play PS1 discs. This is the only console plugged in through HDMI.

It can't play PS2 games though, which is why I have a PS2 set up as well. This is my preferred console for most retro games, on account of being the only one with a drive bay. Its one annoyance is third-party network adapters (required to plug in the drive) don't actually have network ports, and I can't load ROMs through USB or similar. So if I want to add new games, I gotta remove the drive manually and plug it into my desktop. It also can't play PS1 games, since the console is hard-coded to shut out both USB and the drive bay when loading its PS1 emulation. But it works great for PS2 games, and that's all it needs to do.

I should reiterate again that you don't need to do this to have a true authentic experience playing retro games. As time goes on, emulation & 4K OLED TVs will be more accessible means of achieving authenticity. I'm just a madman who had the space & resources to do it.

[the-bio-ska]

Molting

(POV Lenox)

I swear if Brittany has me carry all of those suitcases back down, I will ask for a transfer. I do not care how busy Freddy is.

The apartment Brittany has in New York is impressive. For a room she rents out to others, she definitely shows her wealth, if nothing else. A lot of paintings that consist of nothing but color; surrealist paintings that I get what it is depicting, but I still have to wonder, why? Some odd clock that is telling the time, but looks like a carjack bolted to a wall. 

I had to stand up to actually get a proper look at the time while I was laying down. Ms. DeBoin explained to me the meaning of the piece.

That’s by design! It is supposed to look like that! It symbolizes time being a difficult thing to keep track of, yet for all the time zones we find a way to keep track of it.

I’m starting to think she just bought a confusing looking clock and has to make up a justification for why she bought it.

Her TV looks like it is the most recent and high resolution version of the flat-screen. Aside from the bottom bar with the TV logo, the TV has no frame. I have not watched anything yet, but I’m curious if it will have an odd aspect ratio. 

Looking at the media shelf she has on the sides of the TV, it is surprisingly small for someone who tries to claim she is as media influenced as she is. I cannot see the full spines as the frame covers a third of it, but I see from some of the spines.

Eyes Without A Face which made sense given the poster she has, Phantom of the Pa, Kino’s Journey, Visions of Escafl, Revolutionary Girl Ut, Bound and finally Hedwig and the Angry. This only took up about half of the shelf space for her film collection. 

Her music collection is the polar opposite. Her shelves are full nearly to the brim aside from the bottom two shelves. I have not even heard of a lot of the bands on here and it would take hours to go through them all. I know she is going to make me listen to something later.

“Lenny! I need your help!”

I bolt up from the couch. The limited ways she could be hurt is low, but still, I have to make sure she is okay. Plus, it sounds like she is whining over something.

Upon opening the door, I see Brittany in a towel, but more importantly something is around her eye. Her eye looks almost swollen, a layer of clear skin clasping on her eyeball. It seems impossible for her to see out of. It looks almost merged to her eye. I have never seen anything like this. If this blinds her I will be in deep trouble. “We need to get to a hospital!” I grab her arm but she breaks my grip.

“No! We don’t have to go! This is just a bad molt. I just need you to do me a favor.” Reaching over to her bathroom sink, cosmetics spilled into, she hands me a pair of flat headed tweezers. “I just need you to pull off the skin using these tweezers.”

Skin?! That’s what this is? Her eyes molt? Is this due to that surgery that her father did to her? “Hold on! Why can’t you do it?!” 

“Every time I get the tweezers near my eyeball I get shaky and nervous. Now, please pull the center of my eye with the tweezers!”

Oh she gets nervous? What about me? Brittany is trusting me with her eye. If I screw up I could blind her. I cannot feel her pain, nor do I have any empath magic that could help.

Tenderly, I move the tweezers towards the slit in the molting skin. I figured it would be best to start from the corner so it would come cleanly off. Hopefully. My hand is stable due to my bio organic enhancements, but my heart is beating out of my chest. Going for the eyes is something I myself get nervous over. The mere idea of something piercing and cutting an eye shakes me to my core. I have never done this before. The most I have ever done was when I tried to remove my own contacts when I was 11.

Wait. Like contacts! I place the tweezers back on the counter. Brittany fidgets nervously, hearing what I did. “Len. What are you doing?”

“Just trust me on this.” I turn on the sink and wash my hands. From the mirror I can see Brittany opening her available eye to see what I am doing. She’s shaking, likely nervous as she does not know what to do. After barely drying my hands, I grab the good side of her face from her chin, so I can guide her head. The one good eye is dilating, meaning I need to keep this quick. With my other hand, I lightly scrape my middle finger against her eyeball.

I feel the wet clump of skin attach to my finger, slimy though it may be. I tenderly continued until the skin clasped around my finger. I look at her eyes and it looks like there is no damage. A bit red, watery and swollen, but it seems like she can see. My relief gave way to disgust once I realized I still had the skin. It feels slimy, but there was clearly texture. It felt like I was holding wet snake skin boots. Instinctively I flick it off into the toilet. Brittany gives me a horrified look.

“Were you raised in a barn!? Dammit, I cannot sell it now?”

Sell? She sells her skin sheds? I know that was a practice that dragons could do to make some quick money. But would anyone take some skin molts from a human? Wait, Brittany looks human again. I know her father performed extensive surgery on her to look human, so why did she still molt?

“I thought your father got all of your skin replaced. I just thought the scales under your eyes were just makeup.” Figured any time is as good as any to escort her back to the living room, but she struts past me doing that damned walk that makes her look like a model.

The pop star just shakes her head at me and laughs. “My father is a skin and muscle surgeon. He is not comfortable doing any work on eyes, teeth or ears.” She lifts her hair to reveal something I had never noticed with her. Instead of human, or even animal ears like you would find on a cambion, there were little holes on the side of her head. From what I can see, they were also molting, with whitish skin. “It is also why I keep my hair in this style at all times, so no one can see my ears. It’s…not something I like showing. The fact you assumed the scales under my eyes were make-up makes me feel better.”

For the first time since I took this job, Brittany is showing some vulnerability with me. Not a lot, but this is something. For all of her confidence over her new body she still has points of insecurity for her, which at least was something I should keep in mind. I hide one of my ears in my hands, gentle rubbing them.

“In fact, let me show you something,” Brittany went back to the bathroom. I hear something unzip, then I hear her footsteps again. I see a bag of skin? The contents of the bag looked like plastic inside another plastic bag. Except once I get one more good look at it, it’s scaly skin!

“Why do you have that?!”

“To sell them to a select group of people. I thought we were on the same page with that.” Brittany is using that sing-song tone from when we were driving up. “I sell them to people within my network. Connections with my production team, my dad. People suspect I shed to varying degrees since I went public with both my transition and my reversion into a human. I myself just do not like looking at them.”

“I know you aim to sell it. Just nasty is all,” something about what she said stood out. Having a network of someone with her status. "Is one of those people in New York?”

Brittany nods. “Agnes Utgar-Hagen is my main doctor. I give her clumps of my skin for study and depending on how much skin clumps I give her, I can get 40 dollars for every 6 inches.”

40 dollars? That still mattered to a millionaire? I just shrug. Whatever she wants to do with her skin is up to her. “You know what. I don’t even want to hear more than that. This topic is getting too gross for me.” If she kept going, I can only imagine what she will mention. What if she sells other excrement to some weirdo who needs it for 'magical studies'?

“True true~! By the way,” Brittany approaches me meekly, reaching her hand out to try and grab my hand, only to stop herself. “May I see your hands please?” My hands? I’m grateful for the topic change, but why my hands? A better description of them is closer to claws, so says Freddy.

“Your hands just feel nice. I assumed under your energy claws they would be gnarled and gross, but you take good care of your hands. I just want to look at them again.”

Oh my god! Why is she doing this? She’s probably lying about finding my hands feeling soft. This is just her trying to mess with me again. My guess, she wants to get a look at as many things with my body she can mock. If she thinks that I don’t know her reputation as a shit stirrer, she will be in for a rude awakening.

“N-no Ms. DeBoin! I believe that is not necessary. I believe I have helped you so I will leave you to get…dressed.” Oh. Right. Brittany is in a towel. Needing to get out of there, I shut her door as fast as I could without slamming it. I really hope she does not report this to Freddy.

Brittany is laughing as she goes back to the bathroom. I just walk back to the couch and slump down. I’m already exhausted with having to deal with her antics. It’s not even a week yet. This is going to be a long job.