#I acknowledge I am a stereotype with how much I love musicals.

[raven-quill-and-willow-wand]

I just found out about the new Stray Gods game, and it comes out NEXT MONTH?! AAAAAAAAH!!! I am obsessed with the first one, and I never imagined there could possibly be a sequel!!! At BEST, I hoped for maybe another game years down the line with a completely different pantheon of gods in the story, but this is a direct sequel (as close as one can get with a different main character) that continues part of the story from the first game!! With ORPHEUS as the main character at that!! He had a criminally small part in the first game, so I am thrilled to see him take center stage for the new one! Every single one of my friends will be sick of hearing about Stray Gods by the time it comes out and then they’re in for a whole new round of obnoxious fangirling. I am so ready. I don’t post a ton on here and mostly spew my interests at my real life friends, but I fucking love Stray Gods. I am going to be super normal about this game. Yep.

I also hope we get some singing from Hermes because they sang only during the trial and only if you chose them, so it would be cool to get more of Erika Ishii singing!

[cowboys-tshot]

Circe and Odysseus in Epic: The Musical

EDIT: DO NOT TAKE MY WORD AS THE 100% TRUTH!!

I took some classes and wrote a paper about ancient Greek culture, but I am in NO WAY an expert. Please read through the reblogs to see some good criticisms and discussion about this topic further. My point overall stands that you can't apply modern rules and standards to ancient stories, but my evidence is undoubtedly flawed! This post has been edited to try and better reflect this.

I'm seeing everyone pointing out the possible issues with Epic the Musical's deviation from the original story of Circe and Odysseus, and as someone who's studied Ancient Greece/ancient Greek myths a bit, I wanted to say some stuff about it. This will be a bit of a long one, so apologies for my rambling!

Note that I'm not trying to shit on SA survivor's perspectives and (completely valid) arguments. I'm just trying to offer some context surrounding the original myth and how it fits (or rather, doesn't fit) with a modern audience. If I'm wrong with any of this, feel free to call me out! Criticize the shit out of me! I like learning about Greek culture and myths and would 100% love to hear other perspectives on this.

So, a few points about Ancient Greek myths to kind of explain the context around Circe and Odysseus:

Greek myths often did not have good views/depictions of women. Women were very often depicted as conniving, selfish, sexually insatiable creatures. There are a few deviations from this trope, the most prominent of which being Penelope herself—she's basically the ideal Greek wife, staying loyal to her husband for 20 years and all that.

Adultery often only applied to women. Husbands cheating on their wives wasn't merely tolerated, but kind of expected. Men often cheated on their wives with various kinds of prostitutes, concubines, mistresses, etc. Although, sleeping with unmarried women (that weren't specifically prostitutes) or married women was still looked down upon. Women didn't have this same standard. They could only sleep with their husbands—hell, their husbands (and family) were pretty much the only men they could even interact with once some really sexist Asiatic practices were brought to Athens.

The original myth has Hermes very plainly lay out how Odysseus' confrontation with Circe will go: Odysseus will eat the moly, draw his sword at her, she'll proposition him, and Hermes directly tells Odysseus to accept. Basically a "sleep with her if you want your men to live" situation. (See this post for more specifics on this).

So, let's apply this to Epic: The Musical. Here's some reasons I think may explain the Circe myth being changed:

The Greek "women being evil" stereotype is... problematic. While I 100% understand that it's important to acknowledge male victims of SA, I don't think the original myth was focusing on Odysseus being a victim—I saw it more of an emphasis on Circe being a sexually selfish woman, as women were often believed to be. Changing Circe to be less conniving and evil deviates from the concerning Greek stereotype.

The SA in the myth is not actually very clearly SA. Yes, with a modern perspective, it absolutely is sexual coercion, but for ancient Greeks, not so much. It made sense to them that sex could be transactional, especially when gods were involved. It's already been established that Epic, while still generally accurate to the original myth, does change things relating to morality/themes in order to better align with modern Western ideas (i.e. OG Odysseus not being as remorseful and merciful, as that was expected of a Greek hero, but Epic Odysseus having more empathy because that's more modernly heroic). If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.

In the case that the original Circe myth wasn't SA (I'm not saying one is more right than the other, I'm just covering all the bases), then it wouldn't even constitute as cheating. Like I described earlier, men often slept with women that weren't their wives. Plus, being a goddess, she's already kinda exempt from being blamed if Odysseus slept with her—only women are ever really blamed for sleeping with (or being SAed by) gods, and even then, their husbands sometimes don't even give a shit. But modernly, we would not see it that way. To us, it's not societally acceptable for a married man to sleep with another woman (without his wife's consent, at least). While Ancient Greeks viewed Odysseus as a good (or at least okay) husband, a modern audience wouldn't. Making Odysseus loyal to Penelope and not sleeping with other women (assuming this wasn't SA, but again that's one interpretation) makes him the good, loyal, empathic, modernly heroic man that Epic is clearly aiming for. Repeating my last point: If something from the original myth doesn't translate well into modern culture, then it's understandable to want to change or omit it.

Applying modern perspectives on Ancient Greek society and mythology isn't worth it. Like, we all joke about Greek mythology/Ancient Greece being super gay, but it was often just what we consider pedophilia (it's called pederasty if you'd like to know more). Y'know the Hades and Persephone story? Like, the original one with the kidnapping? Yeah, that was kinda normal in some areas. The myth of Demeter and Persephone is tragic, yes, but it was so normal that a lot of wedding ceremonies included references/recreations of it! Girls got married off ASAP after their first menstruation to men of at least 30 years old. We don't tolerate that shit today (for the most part, at least)! But it was normal in Ancient Greece. Applying modern rules and standards to ancient culture just does not work.

Anyways, I'll shut up now! I'm gonna go keep listening to The Circe Saga lmao

[yukipri]

So, I binged The Acolyte last night.

I had a mental block and couldn't get myself to start while it was coming out, and I also haven't touched any High Republic era media before which made me hesitant. But the spoilers/gifs/fanart etc I saw convinced me I should give it a try.

I'm not a huge fan of binging, I like sitting and thinking with each episode, so I expected to just watch an episode or two, give it a day or so, then continue if I liked it.

But, to my great surprise, once I started, I couldn't really stop (aaand stayed up till 7 AM, oops).

I think it had several things going for it:

-The acting was genuinely phenomenal. I feel like I would have felt completely differently about the show if different actors had been involved, and i mean that more strongly than I usually do. Their delivery in certain moments really sold me.

-It's not your usual Star Wars genre. I'd consider it mystery/suspense with a touch of horror, and it really does come together. Some of the characters are experience a more stereotypical Star Wars action/adventure story, but are jerked out of their genre at certain moments. It's pretty neat, and makes the twists fun and interesting (even if you were completely spoiled beforehand, like me lol)

-The costumes were gorgeous and unique.

-Some truly gorgeous cinematography, shots that have beautiful composition and lighting.

-It was rich in lore and references, some from Legends that I caught, many from the High Republic that I didn't catch but appreciated nonetheless. It felt deeply connected to the SW Universe.

-While cynical, the writing says things that I've thought about but never really thought Star Wars would have the guts to say. The writing is also Tight, meaning that little moments of character interactions bring up things that will be necessary/helpful to the plot later, and I appreciated that. There felt like very little waste.

-There are genuinely no "good" or "bad" guys. Every character makes mistakes or has horrible qualities, yet also positive ones. We see and understand motives, even if we don't agree with them, and see the fallout of those actions. This made almost everyone compelling. The narrative and writing gives the audience space to think.

Things that I wasn't as much a fan of:

-I felt like most of the sets felt kind of generic and Earth-like, especially in comparison to the rich costumes and alien characters.

-There are some fantastic fight scenes and emotional scenes, where the acting and cinematography was fantastic, but I wish the music had been a bit more memorable. I can't really recall any of it, and I feel like there were scenes that could have been truly iconic had the music resounded more with me.

Now, some more specific thoughts, SPOILERS below:

On Sol:

Sol is a character who, I believe in most cases, I would have absolutely despised. But holy shit, Lee Jung-jae. I am not exaggerating when I say that his performance is perhaps one of the best, if not THE best performances I've ever seen in live action Star Wars. He played this character so tenderly, so genuinely.

Despite being misguided, having made terrible decisions, and making mistakes that even he acknowledges, Sol himself always truly thought he was doing what was right, and loved Osha with his whole being even at the end, and it Shows. The way he looks at Osha was so sincere.

This is why I can't get myself to hate Sol as a character. It makes me feel so conflicted, like how can a guy with so much love and genuine desire to help and do good go so wrong? And that, I think, is one of the major points of the show, and Lee Jung-jae absolutely sells it. What a phenomenal actor. You could genuinely watch this show for him alone.

On Osha/Mae:

When the first info/promos for Acolyte came out and Amandla Stenberg was announced as the main character, I admit I was a bit confused. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I thought she couldn't act, but it's just that her face is so kind. She looks so warm (and gosh, she's so beautiful), but it made me go hmm, she looks like a Good Guy Protag, a Hero, so I was a bit confused as to how she was going to lead "the Acolyte," which from the title, I assumed she'd be Dark Side. Even with the early promo scenes of Mae fighting Indara, I wasn't really sold on her being "Dark."

And it turns out, that was exactly the point of the casting.

Amandla was perfect, and was brilliant at portraying two characters who not only have different and distinct personalities, but also both shift and change throughout the show. Mae never came off as "Dark" to me, because she isn't. Osha's not necessarily Light OR Dark, but she's independent. They are balanced, yet cycling, reminiscent of that little palm-to-palm circling ritual that the girls do. Amandla's portrayal of them was poetry, and made me so very invested in them.

I think if there's one thing I really wish the show had included more of, it's both Osha and Mae's pasts between their tragic separation and their reunion in the present. What was Osha's Padawan-ship actually like? I feel like the exact reason for the timing of her leaving the Order was ambiguous, and I wanted to know more. And was Mae with "the Master" the entire time?

I truly wish Osha could have heard the full story from Sol, because of his many crimes, ironically, killing her mother really was a genuine accident. There are things I wish he could have apologized to her for, or that she could have understood about him, such as how that night at the coven was largely driven by how Sol felt connected to her. This is one part where, while I get how the writers went this way, I do wish I could have felt more closure to their relationship.

I found it so tragic that Qimir erased Mae's memories and they had to be separated so soon after finally understanding each other. I really hope that if there's a season 2, they can be reunited.

On Qimir:

Preface by saying I was spoiled regarding his identity long before I started, by all those thirsty posts/tweets. And man, I GET IT.

But thirst magnet aside, I found him a genuinely fascinating character. For one thing, he's kind of an ironic character to *be* a Darksider. He seems so chill and laid-back, is honorable (or at least keeps his word), and despite his words about using emotions to harness energy, we don't really see him passionately mad/anything really. In contrast, the Jedi we see around him are furious, scared, sad. It's interesting that he almost seems more calm, but not necessarily because he's trying: he just doesn't care.

Manny Jacinto's portrayal of the character made him so damn Likable. Which, is pretty hard to reconcile with the fact that I genuinely liked Jecki and Yord, but a lot of his lines make me just go, y'know he's got a point. Like the whole, "She was a child," "You brought her here." Like yeah. Honestly, fair. His little quips, the delivery, the I'm-just-a-chill-dude attitude, actually keeps his word, and on the flip side, undeniable ruthless skill and viciousness that took down a whole team of Jedi single-handedly. It's a very BRRRRRR combo.

In general, I don't really get too attached to "Dark Side" characters, and don't really have a favorite Sith. Or at least, I didn't, but I think Qimir (or whatever his actually name is) might claim that spot now. Truly peak character, I truly hope we get to see more with him.

And this is kind of an aside, but can I just say, it felt unreal to have entire fight sequences focussing on just two Asian actors, with the other protagonist we see a black girl, for huge chunks of the show? No white people except comparatively brief side characters? In a Star Wars show?!?? All of them unique and well fleshed out and phenomenally written and acted?? None of it felt like "forced diversity," it's all so natural, that when I step back and thought about it in these terms it just...again, feels unreal. I'm so grateful for these characters, and hope we get more like them.

On Jecki and Yord:

Honestly given what I saw about Yord before hand, I was expecting him to be far more annoying than he was. Sure, he was a little stiff, but he felt like a young Jedi Knight who was trying to prove himself and do his best, and I think he very clearly did care for Osha.

Jecki, gosh I loved her. She felt very similar to Ahsoka, if a bit more by the book. She was very wise for her youth. I loved the budding friendship between her and Osha, how they helped each other and weren't jealous.

The thing about both of these characters, which I think the writers did so well, is that they felt like protagonists. In another story, they would have been the main characters, the heroes. Both of them were so young, so early in their training/careers. They could have become Obi-Wans, Ahsokas. Jecki especially was bursting with so much potential.

But alas, this was not that story. It makes it that much shocking when their lives are cut so abruptly short. We were given time to get to know these characters, to care for them, and then without much fanfare, boom. Gone.

On one hand, I sorta Hate That. On the other, I deeply respect the writers for going there, because I think it did have an Impact on the story and show.

On the Witches/Mother Aniseya:

Admittedly I was a little ehhhhh on some of the world-building regarding the witches, just the use of the words "witch" and "coven" and some of the chanting with gasping cackling women etc felt a bit caricature. I do get that they wanted us to have a vibe for this group and to get one with limited screentime, and sometimes stereotypes are the way to do that. I didn't love it, but also didn't mind it too much.

I actually really loved Mother Aniseya. For one thing, the actress is Gorgeous, her costume stunning, and she really sold the whole otherworldly ethereal immortal goddess vibe well, in a way that still felt Star Wars. For the other, I liked how she was the soft, empathetic one, it kinda contrasted with expectation of her position.

I also loved Mother Koril, and how again, she was designed as a character foil to Mother Aniseya. I love how we didn't see too much of them, but could still see that they were partners who loved and respected each other (I hesitate to say "wives," because I feel like their society may not exactly have the same concept of marriage, but partners was undeniable). I think it was a neat Oh moment when they stated that Mother Koril is the one who carried the twins. Love them.

I know I'll have more thoughts, but yeah, to sum it up, I enjoyed Acolyte a ton more than I thought i would, and am so glad I gave it a chance.

Other things:

-Mentioned earlier that I love "little moments of character interactions bring up things that will be necessary/helpful to the plot later." Some actual examples of this: When we see Sol noticing Osha's tattoo and Osha saying he must hate it, which in the moment, shows the kind of guardian-student relationship they have, and how little seems to have changed for them in the time they've been a part. Later, it's shown to clearly identify Osha after Mae steals her clothes. Another is the rolly polly moth things, which at first seem just like a way to show This Forest Dangerous, but then are a plot point to temporarily escape from Qimir, and later on, to show Vernestra's connection to the Force (and also her light whip). Stuff like that, I really like.

-I so appreciated Qimir's Cortosis helmet. For one thing, it's neat that it's not just cool-looking or a disguise, but actually is Force-blocking. I think an official SW account factoid said that this is also how beskar works, though beskar is stronger. The two effects this has: when the user is wearing it, they're forced to confront what's inside of them. The other, is that it hides the wearer's identity from Force users who would otherwise recognize them. The latter is my personal headcanon for beskar helmets, so it's very gratifying to see it in canon! The former has some interesting implications for Force-users who wear beskar.

-The cynical view of the Jedi Order as an Institution, and all the politics, corruption, and obscuring of dirt that that entails. Admittedly this may be because of my own increasingly cynical perspective on the Order, but it felt honest and I agreed with most of it. The fact that individuals are trying their best to do "good" does not negate the fact that they are pretty much acting as Space Cops. This line by Senator Rayencourt felt especially raw:

"I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion, a delusional cult that claims to claim the uncontrollable. [] Your emotions."

Framed as a religion having unchecked power—that feels uncomfortably realistic! And also zeroing in on how for all their power, the Jedi are still people, and just as fallible (and therefore, must necessarily be held just as accountable).

Also:

I can see how this portrayal of the Jedi may make some folks uncomfortable, especially if you love the Jedi, but I long hold that the Jedi as an organization are deeply flawed. It's part of why I personally like the "fall of the Republic" era; both the Galactic Republic and Jedi Order have deep, fatal flaws, and this is an era where that all comes to a head—one where they must fall, or fix themselves.

So in conclusion, my favorite parts: the characters, and the moral grayness of almost everyone. Many stories may claim there's no good/evil dichotomy, but few ever truly show it, but this one did.

I'm not sure yet if I want to "fandom" over this or if I'm pretty satisfied with having just watched it, but it was definitely worth the watch and I'm glad I gave it a try!

~~

~~

I also kept a lil document of live reaction notes as I was watching, which I'll copy below:

Episode 1

UEDA?? The planet is just, UEDA?? A pretty common Japanese surname?? That's like. Naming a planet Johnson or somethin...

Loving the costumes 'n set

Oh wait I recognize this scene, it's the one they played as a preview at the AMC Star Wars marathon

Idk how to feel about the Space Generic T-Shirt

Ooh Neimoidians (thank you for no horrendously exaggerated Evil Japanese Accent TM), and interesting Jedi ship shape

Oh interesting interesting they intentionally paralleling TPM eh

Hrmn not a positive first impression of Master Vernestra, her lines are so mechanical

Very cool pilot chair droids and tentacle alien

Osha says practice vehicle safety and wear seatbelts and protect your head!

Oh Osha has Trauma I see. Girl ain't getting good sleep

Oh wow Sol Loves Osha, oh no is this going to lead to Padawan Jealousy Trauma between Osha and Jecki. How much are we heavily paralleling TPM here

Kill the dream eh?

Episode 2

Oh there are multiple Jedi temples, that's nice

Jedi Temple using same security system as Jabba is...uh

Mae tips, good for her

Master Torbin just sittin' there, lookin like some random youtuber. why tabi socks

Man I dig Mae's patchwork cloak with massive princess hood.

It's pronounced KAI-meer??? My Chinese ass thought it was Chee-mir

Barash Vow

Ohhh so Mae doesn't know that Qimir...? (was spoiled)

Episode 3

ooh i like the fairy clione things

Ohhh village all women??

Mother Aniseya is stunning

Oh she and Koril blatantly lesbian, fantastic

Oh gosh the Jedi are NOT looking good here. They don't have the right to train children?? WTF

You must let the children take the test?? And if they pass the Jedi will take them away??? That does NOT sound very consensual!!

Oh gosh, selling "you are special" to a child, after separating her from her community...

Really feel like "how does taking a child away affect their community" should be factored into jedi stuff

Mae that is...sudden and violent wtf

Kinda not trusting Sol here

Episode 4

Wow Kelnacca looks...mentally stable

Ohhh Qimir's ship? Looks suspiciously Kylo Ren-ish

Qimir really suspicious eh

Oh wow not using the Force or anything, just using a sniffy guy

They're really doing a Fellowship of the Ring walk huh

Look I absolutely adore Mae's long gorgeous cloak but that is going to drag half the forest floor with her

Not liking those tree bulbs. looks spider eggy

Osha don't Touch the Thing, that's such a Pippin move

oh no, not spider eggs...rolly polly moth vampire thing

Really enjoying Osha and Jecki's friendship, I'm so glad it's not former Padawan jealousy

Oh, Mae, oh no....knowing spoilers...oh...

The red lightsaber igniting next to Osha's head...dang what fantastic composition

The lil hand twitch and head snap. I Get It.

I remember when "Darth Teeth" was trending

And wow that's a Cliffhanger

Episode 5

Oh no Osha knocked out that doesn't bode well

How many against one is that damn

The double spear through then hidden head lop...wow

holy shit booma-saber

Oooooh the cut treeeeees damn

all that death before even the opening title

Honestly GO JECKI, that's very impressive, her win against Mae AND double saber against Darth Teeth, Anakin level spinning and drama

Holy shit Jecki's death was brutal...

She was a child - You brought her here - FAIR

Why risk discovery - I did wear a mask LMAO

Damn did he just casually break Mae's leg

I don't make the rules - the Jedi do

The Jedi say I can't exist...wow

Holy shit Yord's death

Damn full on brawl

I've accepted my darkness, what have you done with yours

Damn really yeeted Qimir from the fight by sticking a light on his back

Pip tho ;_; killin droids feels like killin pets...

They've turned you against me - really Anakin quotin

Wow Sol, not even going to see Jecki????

And wtf how can Sol not tell that Mae's switched them??? Has fandom been grossly misunderstanding how the Jedi use the Force....how the fuck can any Jedi tell apart any clones eh...

While not exactly subtle, I appreciate how lil details in character interactions have had pay offs. Like the tree bugs and Osha's tattoo being a way to identify her

Episode 6

He really just makin a hot pot

his lair kinda looks like sequels Luke's island

Not sure how I feel about the elephant rock bird things

Honestly glad we get to see Sol upset and affected by everyone's deaths. Might explain part of why he can't tell apart the twins?

Oh he's really wearing hakama hakama

Wow Qimir really just getting in buck naked eh. Is this the scene that Manny froze his balls off for

His line about it being fine in a fight but vengeance a few hours later

Oh he brought a change of clothes

Damn the Jedi are taught "it fades"???

Aww Osha, u aren't tempted by the soup??

Oh wow we revisiting bodies, that feels...u usual for SW. Oh there's a Kel Dor... (why are there no flies buzzing yet. or are there no flies yet)

Mae wakes up so peacefully compared to Osha

Oooh sensory deprivation mask, all dark, nothing but breathing, evocative of Darth Vader even if breathing is not similar

Episode 7

Vergence....iiiiinteresting

Sol, stalking lil kids is creepy af

Oh my god you're just gonna break in???

See - You cannot deny the Jedi have a right to test potential Padawans - Why the fuck not???? You don't have the right to stalk, spy on, break into random people's homes, and talk directly to their children without permission from guardians??

Guh Sol....

Interrogation after isolation from guardians....

Oh, the Jedi Council is right for once??

Do not alter this little girl's destiny because you have formed an emotional attachment to her

Gosh I thought Indara was the most innocent in this buuuuut

Episode 8

I'm surprised they never added Darth Teeth's mask to the front credits

"See you in hell" Oh I know Han mentioned Hell like once but I thought they were avoiding mentioning it in newer media

Holy shit Rayencourt: I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion, a delusional cult that claims to claim the uncontrollable. - Kinda uncomfortably real!!

-We don't control the Force - no, your emotions - OOF

I didn't realize till this ep how the cool Brendok eclipse got that line, it's the comet ring. super neat

oof Mae climbing out of the scene of Trauma...

Oh that is some Wu Xia shit

"I will destroy you if i must" really??

Nice dagger saber

Okay Sol that is Cool

oh gosh, the plot-relevant inversion of clothes resulting in it reflecting how they swapped light/dark is SO cool

very yin yang fighting

Damn it keeps coming down to the unarmed opponent thing

Damn, Mae going the justice route

Damn, just Damn

Gosh the thing about Sol is that he is SO well acted, so sincere in his love and devotion, it's hard to hate him

I'm glad the helmets block the Force identity like that tho, fits headcanon

Glad Basil continues to shine

Oh no. Vernestra...I thought you were doing the right thing revealing the truth, but instead you're continuing the cycle of covering up crimes

Oh...use Mae to find Vernestra's former Padawan...that's a cycle alright

And ends with Yoda okay

[burnersideblogjustincase-ies]

MY TIME HAS COME. IVE BEEN HERE TOO LONG AND SEEN TOO MUCH. Most of the hate I see Jess and Jason get publicly is for bad writing choices, but. Uh. THINGS RUN MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT! Here's a big compilation, of both serious and less serious things, that people have gripes with Jess and Jason for.

Disclaimer: A lot of this stuff is sourced from twitter, which I do not use. I am a MCD fan and have been here since MCD Season 1, I also am not a Mystreet/modern content fan. There could be stuff/context I'm missing for some things. I'm trying to keep this post to stuff I can provide links/sources for, in order to prevent that.

Tw for discussions of homophobia, racism, abusive workplace, uncomfortable IRL age-gaps, fatphobia, and depictions of abuse and incest. This post is long, be warned.

Homophobia:

Jessica is a fetishist of gay/mlm relationships. I feel this is pretty visible through her actions as a whole, but in case you don't believe me, here's her tweeting about being a Septiplier fan.

(Ship between Jacksepticeye and Markiplier. Yes. She really tweeted this. https://twitter.com/_Aphmau_/status/748004225305677828)

And this.

And the video she did where she publicly supported the "ship" of her IRL employees/coworkers (Mithzan and YourPalRoss), which she then publicly reblogged a clip of to her tumblr here: https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/142601660059/mithross-ahaha-thank-you-so-much-for-this

AND back when they did fanfic readings/reenactments on the channel, one of these videos was devoted to Septiplier.

(This video has since been privated, but you can see someone's... uh.... ""reaction video"" to it? Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jodpDmeqES0)

Yeah.

This fetishization does leak into the content Jessica creates. Jason himself has confirmed that the way Jess wrote Laurance and Garroth was intentionally written as queerbait.

The person he was replying to is no longer visible, but the tweets are still up here: (https://twitter.com/jasonbravura/status/802295131218984960)

Racism:

Yeah so remember how Jason said that they'd never have someone on the team make the skintones of characters to be lighter. Remember how he said that in those tweets above. Yeah well they did that they absolutely did that. They do it in the official poster merch, in the official music videos, thumbnails, and in the skins/ingame footage as well.

(Lots of the in-game whitewashing seems to be a side-effect of the shaders they are using, as they overexpose the footage and make everything lighter as a result. The difference in skintones is glaringly obvious, and definitely would've been tackled by the team by now if they cared about whitewashing as an issue.)

It took until Season 3 of MCD to have a single black character purposefully placed into the show. He had potential to be more than a side character, but the show was cancelled soon after his introduction. As far as I'm aware, Teony is still the only black character in all of Mystreet/Phoenix Drop High. She is a side character who is not included in the minigames or other modern content. Unless I'm misremembering, she doesn't appear in Mystreet in anything beyond Season 2.

Let's talk about Nana Ashida now. Or as she was known as up until late parts of Mystreet, "Kawaii-Chan." Good news! Jessica and crew realized that having an anime-obsessed neko-girl who works at a maid cafe and loves "shipping" and all things "Kawaii" was offensive, and changed her name as a result. Bad news! They confirmed this character to have Japanese heritage through changing her name, further enforcing every single stereotype she carried and more!

(Though it's not as if there was a very good out for this aside from acknowledging the stereotype, tearing out everything about her character, and rebuilding her from the ground up. Either you make your Japan stereotype Japanese, confirming she's a walking stereotype, or you make your Japan stereotype a white girl, and confirm that she the character is stereotyping Japanese people. Either way, they wrote an offensive stereotype and refuse to fix it, because the stereotype is intrinsically tied to her character, and all that is supposed to be appealing and likable about it.)

Fatphobia:

I don't even know what to say. Here is a roleplay video from 2018, where the sideplot is that Aphmau eats too many hamburgers, causing her to hiss at fruits and vegetables like a feral cat. She goes for a jog with aaron, where she fails miserably until being deceived that there is a... "wild hamburger" in the bushes. The video ends with her bursting into tears over turning down a cookie. Eating and food humor are common in this era of video from the Aphmau channel, and these topics are never handled well.

(https://youtu.be/PnOCMK1i-hQ)

Basically every character who is implied to like food (aside from Nana/Kawaii-Chan, because of course a Japanese stereotype Cutesy Icon™ can't be fat, because being fat is not appealing in the eyes of the writers) is implied to also be both unhealthy and overweight. Three out of Four of the trivia bullet-points for Betty (FCU character) are about her love of food, because she genuinely has no other memorable traits. If I have to tell you what is wrong with this, I can't help you.

(https://aphmau.fandom.com/wiki/Betty_(MyStreet))

Abusive Workplace Allegations:

Back while it was still known as BluJay, Catface Studios was reportedly not a good place to work. Here are some twitter testimonies from ex-employees, ranging from things such as PTSD, to possible legal threats for speaking out about working conditions/experiences. (Some of the text is very small, click through to read better.)

A lot of these tweets are, at this point, deleted. Especially the more negative/accusatory ones. Some of them can still be found online, search for them if you're curious.

(And context for people unaware, _Castr_ aka Castor is the same person as The Chicken Shaman in MCD. He used to work on/be a part of a lot of Jess' old content, and was a writer on various projects for her for a VERY long time. I believe he was involved in the writing of MCD since Season 1, but if anyone has a source on that so I know I'm not misremembering, feel free to let me know. His sudden release was VERY shocking to me personally, seeing as how long he's been a part of Jess and Jason's work.)

Jess and Jason have also pretty iconically had beef with Sebastian Todd, the voice of Laurance. This beef is why Laurance rarely appears in videos, and was written out of Mystreet. I personally don't really care for either of the involved parties, but here's what Mithzan has to say about Sebastian:

Child Labor (???):

I literally don't know how else to describe it. This tweet (and linked google doc) from 2015 is the source of this one:

(This tweet is still up and available at this link by the way: https://twitter.com/_Aphmau_/status/661051379234922497) The bit.ly link (http://bit.ly/1Q10LEA) leads to a google doc (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yPd1dsY99sOwIl_fITmUryfH4s00zVgiSuwodfcNiK8/edit) describing what a body actor is and where to apply to work as one for Jess. In case you don't feel like clicking links, here's just the "terms and conditions" and all listed requirements:

Yep, that's right, kids as young as 13 were encouraged to apply for this! Or even 12, if your birthday was close enough to the application date. Though it mentions "promotion", there is no payment mentioned or listed anywhere on the document. Presumably promotion is referring to asking for more important jobs, such as writers or voice actors, though I don't know for certain. Despite the mention of "credit given to you as the body actor" I do not remember seeing body actors ever credited on Aphmau videos of this era. (If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me, but I checked a couple MCD S2 episodes that came out a couple months after this, and could only ever find VAs credited.)

I don't know how young anyone who applied or was accepted was, and I don't know what their working conditions were like. I personally doubt anyone accepted was paid for their time at all, though I have nothing to back that up.

(Also, I don't know if that email is still active. And don't plan on testing it. I'd encourage not sending anything, just in case.)

Aggression towards fans:

This is more a point towards Jason specifically, but multiple times he has spoken out very... I don't even know how to phrase it. Agitatedly? Blame-y? Against fans on twitter for seemingly minimal or nonissues.

These are some of my "favorites," and by favorites I mean "I cannot believe a grown man actually said these things to young fans on twitter, for the crime of... wanting to see more non-Aarmau ships with Aphmau ???"

(These tweets are ALSO still up: https://twitter.com/JasonBravura/status/866345911571562496)

I'm sorry, but "whoring Aphmau's character out" is an INSANE thing to say about your literal actual IRL wife.

(Also he went real jokercore this one time I still cannot believe this is real.)

This is less of a serious accusation in comparison to some of the others, but looking at it with the following in mind makes an interesting picture:

Jess and Jason's Relationship:

Hate that I have to make this a bullet point given how fetishistic and weird people online are about celebrities/internet personalities' IRL relationships, but unfortunately this is necessary. The summary is, Aphmau and Aaron's 4 year age gap (Freshman and Senior in highschool) displayed in Phoenix Drop High is based on Jessica and Jason's real life relationship. Here's a better post breaking this down: https://www.tumblr.com/dantes-gf/648264700307668992/jess-and-jason-a-disturbing-dating-history

As of making this post, I believe Jessica's IRL age is 33 and Jason's IRL age is 37. They met before Jessica was 18, seeing as she moved in with him when she turned 18, as stated by Jessica herself in her Draw My Life video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekOog6xKDMQ)

TLDR: Assuming the timeframe displayed in PDH is correct, their IRL ages suggest that Jessica was 14 and Jason was 18 when they started dating. This age gap is disturbing for obvious reasons.

Some fans have also found Jason controlling for things like this:

(I don't feel right commenting on this given the whole "This Is An IRL Relationship I Am Not A Part Of, And Thus Will Never Have As Much Insight Into As The People Who Are In It" thing, but here it is regardless. You can make your own judgements on it if you wish.)

Irresponsible Depictions of Abuse/Incest:

Ein is a character. He's certainly a character. If you don't know who he is, he appeared in Mystreet and Phoenix Drop High as a villain who wanted to romantically abuse and manipulate Aphmau. In some cases he succeeded. Towards the end of Mystreet Season 6, he was revealed to be Aphmau's sister. In contrast to his villainous persona in the main-story content, he appeared as friendly, teasing and even flirtatious in the mini-game and non-canon content. Many fans were upset to see him treated as a friendly member of the cast, instead of as the incestual abuser he is in canon.

Around mid-late 2018, many fans on tumblr were vocal about how they found Ein's story and character handled to be upsetting and uncomfortable. A voice actor for the channel (condescendingly) responded that depictions of bad things do not necessarily mean the writer is bad. This post was then reblogged by Aphmau's official tumblr account, without any commentary.(https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/179882946599/hey-so)

Obviously writing about problematic things does not make you a bad person. You cannot have a story without conflict. What is concerning is writing about this content irresponsibly. Many fans around this time failed to understand that Ein should not be shipped romantically with Aphmau. This behavior was most alarmingly seen by (younger) fans who looked to the out-of-character minigame content of Ein for how he should be treated, and began shipping Aphmau and Ein without understanding the full force of their actions.

(Tumblr) Fans were then concerned about the responsibility involved in displaying this kind of content uncritically to younger audiences, especially since this time was when the mini-game videos became very clearly more aimed towards younger kids. This was Jessica's response, posted on tumblr: (https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/179945128104/the-audience-of-my-channel)

It touches on the topic, but falsely identifies the main concern of fan backlash of mini-game and overall channel content becoming kid-friendly, instead of the real concern of irresponsibly exposing children to """friendly""" depictions of incest and abuse.

Making funny, silly content of abusers does not successfully condemn an abuser's actions. Making funny, silly content of an incestual relationship does not convey to the audience that the writer sees these actions as wrong. Without knowing that these text posts exist, the average fan would likely never even know they supposedly saw these things as an issue.

Not only has Catface never apologized for this, they later tried to retcon it out of existence:

This post sums it up pretty well. (https://www.tumblr.com/dantedeservedbetter/655931596641353728/oops-this-rant-was-longer-than-i-expected-but)

TLDR: Jessica/Catface has acknowledged that Ein was written to be Aphmau's sister multiple times, including a mini-game video in 2019 that directly referred to them as siblings in the title and thumbnail.

At some point after this comment was made, they changed the video title to be consistent with the "red herring" statement.

To spell it out, after defending their irresponsible portrayal of this abusive and incestual character for years, Catface quietly pretended like it was never an issue and erased all references to his sibling status, so that they did not have to keep trying to explain themselves or apologize.

If you need more proof, check out this tumblr post below where Jessica does not contest Ein's sibling status, which is directly mentioned and discussed in the ask prior! If it really was a red herring, then go on Jessica! Why not correct it here, when the sibling discussion is causing issues all the way back in 2018? That you yourself took credit for writing IN THIS POST! https://www.tumblr.com/aphmau/179877266199/i-think-jasons-a-really-good-guy-but-im-never

I think it's very clear why nothing about this was ever corrected earlier, and it's because they saw it as nothing needing correction. There is no red herring. Just a poorly-handled retcon.

Many characters are given this treatment in canon, where their poor writing was later friendly-ified or excused for little to no reason:

The treatment and attempted "redemption" of Derek, Aaron's abusive father in Phoenix Drop High/Mystreet, is another clear example of this poorly thought-out behavior.

As well as Travis and Katelyn's abusive relationship, which is initially handled seriously, then comically, then swept aside altogether.

As well as Ghost, the undead form of Emmalyn from Minecraft Diaries, who repeatedly forces herself upon Mystreet Zane, because she has confused Mystreet Zane and Minecraft Diaries Zane, and for some reason has also confused Minecraft Diaries Zane, the man who killed her husband... With her husband. Makes sense /s.

As well as.... whatever the hell is going on with Aphmau and Aaron's relationship in Mystreet altogether. Remember that time in Season 4 when Aphmau threw a rock at Aaron after he just got done freezing to death or whatever, because the person that helped him not die... was a girl...... ?????? and she was...... jealous ??????????? so she tried to hit him with a rock??????????????????? was this supposed to be cute??????????????????????????????????

Okay now here's the less serious stuff. Reasons people dont like Jessica and Jason beyond the horrible stuff.

Because the original asker was just asking why people are mad at Jess and Jason, and despite all of the above being very prevalent I mainly see people angry at them for the following:

Bad writing. It comes from both Jess and Jason. Stuff that isn't bad because it's offensive, but because it's just plain bad. In all produced rps, they frequently forget their own lore, characterizations, and write things that just plain make no sense. A lot of people get frustrated with that, understandably.

Stringing fans along. New MCD/Mystreet/Roleplay content is continuously promised and not followed up on. Seasons/series are left unfinished without warning, or rushed to completion in order to throw them in the bin and stop having to write them. Lots of fans have grown tired of hoping for new content for the things they originally followed for. The Aphmau Fantasy Stories channel is inactive for a reason.

Related to above, she mostly just does clickbait-cocomelon-styled videos targeted towards very young children now, which frustrates a lot of old or returning fans looking for more serious content.

Also related to above, retiring or benching main/beloved characters for seemingly no reason. This is most demonstrated by Laurance, but can also be seen in characters like Garroth, Daniel, Lucinda, and Vylad. (One commonality seems to be that this "benching" frequently happens when there are difficulties with employing the voice actor.)

Shipping. Yeah Aarmau is basically the only Aphmau ship featured anymore in all her content, and has been for a while. So people who don't ship that often don't like Jessica, Jason, or their modern content, since the characters are their self-inserts and it's basically their fault.

Content stealing. A lot of her work references other established works, such as making the wyvern dragon language in Minecraft Diaries just being the dragon shout language from Skyrim, taking the titles and sometimes names of the Divine Warriors from mythical figures featured in Final Fantasy, or, most egregiously, stealing the entire Mystreet Season 6 Finale from Fullmetal Alchemist. Yes, they really did do that. In my opinion, some of these seem like simple references to media she enjoys, while some of these (looking at you Mystreet Finale) just feel lazy at best and incredibly deceitful at worst.

The baby voices. All the VAs, including Aphmau, pitch their voices up to sound cartoony now. It's grating.

Jess learned the word "himbo" and now it is Garroth's only personality trait. It's grating.

The Fucklist, or sometimes referred to as The List, is a list Jessica made and posted on her tumblr of characters who, in a less child-friendly version of MCD, would have fucked. The sentence alone is upsetting enough. It's upsetting to read as well. And she didn't even include the canonical Aphmau and Aaron fucking, because it was spoilers at the time. Maybe this doesn't belong here, I don't know if this is the One Reason why a fan has turned on her. But it's probably been the straw that broke some poor camel's back out there.

Some Mystreet fans don't enjoy the more lore-heavy later seasons, and prefer the sillier slice-of-life first couple seasons that the series was originally written with the intention of following.

Similarly to above, some Mystreet fans don't enjoy the MCD crossover lore added late in Mystreet Season 6. Some MCD fans don't enjoy that the series now crosses over with Mystreet.

And more im probably not thinking of at the moment.

You cannot unlearn what you have learned here today.

Sorry.

[peppertaemint]

Ooooh Shinee world is a mess today and for once it's not taemints fault 🥲

An article about fans asking for a Taemin would tour and "shawols" in the quotes going "no shinee" "shinee first" "wait until Jinki comes back so shinee can have a world first"

Like, I too would love a Shinee world tour, I want all of them both solo and as a group to go everywhere(in particular where I am but I won't hold my breath) but that wasn't what it was about. It was fans of Taemin's solo music asking for a tour.

It baffles me cause you never see this kind of thing with the other members. No ot5 shawol will ever expect another member to put their work on hold but, when it comes to Taemin it's like some people can't stand to see him spread his wings.

People never expect Key to put his variety work second, or for Minho to not take acting job, shawols have actively gotten mad if they think Minho had to turn down acting stuff due to his schedule. All Taemin does is music. That is his thing but some fans just cannot seem to respect his career. And all the baby talking in the quotes "we love our cutsey wootsy little taeminnie *but*..."

It's getting really irritating. I used to think some of what taemints say is exaggerated and I still believe that a bit. People were getting angry that the Shinee account didn't post Taemin's hanteo artist of the year nomination and only posted Shinee's, but it makes sense to me. They don't want to split votes and a win for Shinee is a win for all of them. But at the same time some of the disrespect I've seen towards him from supposedly ot5 shawols has been eye-opening.

I dunno, this fandom has been a mess lately and it's only the 4th. 2024 is off the quite the start.

Lol, I sort of find it funny when it's not Taemin fans being the mess-makers. Like they are the worst-behaved, though I would say each solo fandom has their unique flavor. But, what you're highlighting is the biggest open secret in shawol-dom.

Let's have sexy photos in this post for no reason.

Like, shawols are for the most part chill. I've been around these parts for a long time, and a bad day in shinee world is miles and miles better than a bad day in BTS fandom and similar. There isn't violent language or a huge level of harassment. I just want to acknowledge that because the complaints I'll make next are from the privileged shinee world perspective where there is a higher behavior standard. That is the case, even when Taemin fans are being stupid. Like, not once did I see the Golden Disc Awards violently harassed.

So, the open secret: it's all yay Taemin until he gets too much attention. And you noticed it's still very much "our baby taemin" even tho man's been out there trying to fuck the stage for a decade, lol. I see these as two sides of the same coin. They want him in his place as perpetual baby to uwu over, and daring solo work is fine as long as it doesn't outshine everything.

I think with Key it's easier for people to compartmentalise because he's super super successful outside of SHINee when it comes to TV and sponsorships (istg he IS Olive Young, lol; his face was all over Seoul), but those things don't directly compete with SHINee's work. These are complementary endeavours. Key's solo work is now having its career high since Bad Love, and it's only growing, so this condescending solo situation may repeat itself. But, Key's also not the group's little baby. I can't see him being treated the same. The fandom's most egregious behavior towards him has always been rooted in stereotypes. I mean, look how quickly and comfortably people slotted him into this squabbling "marriage" dynamic with Minho. Their arguing is funny, despite how played up for the camera it can be, but I see a lot of "iykyk" weird posts about him and Minho. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.

There is always going to be an element of competition when it comes to solo work. Onew's Circle just got named Billboard's #1 kpop album of 2023. Guilty didn't even make their best of list. Now, I think Guilty was overlooked but Onew deserved #1. It's an extraordinary album. Minho is cultivating this very sexy and mature solo repertoire. This competition will grow, but I think Taemin will always be the target of condescension, minimizing and infantilizing.

He's the perpetual baby who will be put in the obedient baby box. And those fans will be incised when/if Taemin gets to do something they find meaningful before SHINee, even if it's a clear matter of logistics. There is a definite attitude present, and you might notice there is a certain superiority fans have over his solo work. I've been in situations where people have quite literally said they think X member's solo concerts are better than Taemin's with their whole chests. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but when it comes to him, people are wayyyyy to comfortable putting him down.

Anyway, it will always be a bigger "but not him" with Taemin because he was given solo first and has built this legacy of work and has a lot of influence within the industry. Stolid group fans take pride in that when it suits them, but want him to be sidelined when it interferes with their desires.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Review Blurbs: Barbie (2023)

~General Thoughts~

-I thought this movie would be like... PG. And then it got really emotional when Barbie was looking through Gloria's memories of the days when her and her daughter were at their happiest before Sasha grew up. And then Barbie got called a fascist. So

-Margot Robbie is an insanely talented actor. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure how well the movie would've done for me if I wasn't invested in the main character but Margot completely ate the role and made the story of Stereotypical Barbie very endearing to watch

-The pacing was surprisingly good for me, I'm usually really picky about pacing but they were able to balance out transitioning from the silly stuff to serious and back again pretty well, Greta Gerwig you have my applause

-Its an interesting detail that the Real World is still intentionally somewhat unrealistic and caricature-ish similar to the Barbie world is; not sure if that's just Greta's style or if there was a reason for it, made the movie a little jarring imo but I'd love to know why she did it and what effect she was going for

-The fact that Barbie wasn't interested in Ken and rejected him and it was treated as a good thing is just *chef's kiss*

-The Kens fight scene being a colorful musical number with eccentric choreography was so fun to watch I want more

-I don't care what you've been through, nothing could've prepared anyone for that gynecology line. Its such a genius way to remind you that Barbie now has to deal with the biological changes of becoming human. 10/10

-Allan beating up the construction worker Kens was the best moment 10/10

-Speaking of Allan, I loved how Allan was a metaphor for someone who doesn't fit into the gender binary. He was the only non Barbie/Ken, had his own unique name and was always uncomfortable/disappointed with the world around him no matter who was in charge, which was a great way to subtly insert this kind of character. He happily sided with the Barbies to help take down the Kens, embracing all the pink and cheering alongside them when they won, while also looking very sad during the part where the Kens were realizing they failed. Just all of it screamed gender-non conforming to me. I've seen some interpretations saying Allan is a representation of a gay man (being more of a "Ken" presentation wise but finding more of a space among women and being deeply uncomfortable with patriarchy perpetuated by straight men) and some saying he's nonbinary (wanting to leave Barbieland behind and never being satisfied no matter who was in charge); either way, what they did with Allan was very cool and I'm glad some queerness, even if subtle and less prominent, was included in the movie)

-Similarly, Weird Barbie isn't getting nearly enough love. She was one of the most fun characters for me (Kate McKinnon magic, duh) and she like Allan could definitely represent someone out of the cishetero-normative/gender binary (I've seen people saying she's very queer-coded and it honestly makes sense, she tends to dress and act in more un-feminine ways which I think says butch lesbian but its up to interpretation) I am also very gay for her give her more attention cause she deserves it, seriously

-John Cena mermaid

-Simu Liu Ken constantly antagonizing Ryan Gosling Ken over Barbie's attention and being the better Ken within Barbieland is a metaphor for how patriarchy will put women against each other for the attention of men and make women fight each other too much to realize who the real enemy is

-Margot Robbie being acknowledged as "not the best to make this point about ugliness" was fantastic lmao, love the meta-narration

-The way Ken's story arc and the commentary around patriarchy with the incel-pipeline was very strong, and I respect Greta for critiquing it the way she did (I made a full post here )

-Ken and Ken should've kissed. Any of them. All of them.

-Barbie deciding to be human in the end despite her whole journey being about wanting to be a perfect Barbie doll again and her being terrified of flat feet and cellulite but then telling that old woman how beautiful she was and watching humans be normal and mimicking their expressions because even though its scary she wants to feel the way humans do because she sees the beauty in it and its a love letter to women and to people and the complexity of our messy species omfg I'm gonna cry other people said it better than me so go look at their stuff

-Barbie helping out Ken despite everything he'd done because she didn't want things to go back to how they were when Barbies ruled the world, she wanted something different, better, and she helped the person she had every right to want to hurt because we're supposed to be better than those who hurt us

~Criticisms~

-As an add-on to the caricature blurb, I felt a bit weird watching cause Greta's style recreated facets of misogyny as a caricature, so things like patriarchal brainwashing, sexual assault and other very harmful misogynist rhetoric were told in a slapstick way. I was uncomfortable throughout a lot of it, and I'm still deciding if I consider it a genuine criticism to have such matters told in this way or if its just personal preference; would like to know other thoughts if you're willing to share. Regardless, just be aware of it if that stuff's triggering to you so you're prepared for it

-Loved the emphasis on uplifting femininity in Barbie, and I understand the metaphor behind the change, but I can't help feel they pulled a Breakfast Club with Sasha going from her all black attire to suddenly very feminine and with makeup. Being gender non-conforming isn't just for queer people, lots of women are like this and it feels like media makes it seem like this kind of woman is impossible. Not all women wear makeup, not all women are feminine, and I would love for a more masculine/GNC woman character to be able to actually be that. I'll forgive it a bit since Barbies' styles kinda revolve around makeup, and Weird Barbie was consistently butch, just wish characters that are brought up with the prospect of gender-nonconformity could actually stay that way

~Final Thoughts~

Surprisingly good! Don't get me wrong, movies with this style can be good for sure but with the recent surge of mediocre movies I didn't have too much faith. However, I was very happy with how enjoyable and passionate it was. Highly recommend if you like caricature-type works, and/or want to get into some basic feminist ideology in a more fun way that's still very meaningful and heartfelt. Barbie is not just a feminist critique, but a love letter to women, girl hood, and the complexities of humans and how beautiful that can be <3

[pearlaqua-eevee]

TLOU EPISODE 1 "WHEN YOU'RE LOST IN THE DARKNESS" LIVEBLOG

IS THAT JOHNATHAN CARNAHAN 

“Viruses can make us ill but fungi can alter our very minds” OH MY GOD THERE ARE LAYERS TO THAT. THE WHOLE PREMISE OF THE STORY RIGHT THERE GENUIS FUCKING WRITING RIGHT OFF THE BAT 

#oh im gonna love this #this remains one of the best stories of the modern age BECAUSE of writing like this #yes yes yes

also the subtle commentary with the shots of the host’s bemused face and the people on set not paying attention, eating...the brilliant thing about this story is the subtle and not so subtle ways it comments on society and that...theres apathy and almost arrogance. Like “this guys ranting, this is crazy, will never happen” and then of course it does much like 2020

ooh. the deniers HATE this, dont they?

HAVING THE FUNGI GROWING AND LOOKING LIKE A CITY AND THEN LOOKING LIKE THE WEBS OF LIGHT SEEN FROM SPACE ON CONTINENTS AND THEN HAVING IT FORM THE SILOUTTES OF JOEL AND ELLIE  HOLY SHIT. NOBODY IS GONNA TOUCH THIS SHOW, ITS BRILLIANT

also the themeeee

I think they changed it slightly for the show, maybe a bit of percussion? But otherwise its EXACTLY like the game, I can hear Marlene narrating

(also I believe Merle is reprising her role as Marlene and FUCKING FLAWLESS ALREADY

im fangirling so hard because I know whats coming and I dont wanna think about it

SARAAAAAAAAHH  (Destiny’s Child, the Clash and Avril?? Girl has music TASTE) Her room feels so LIVED IN I love this

PEDRO HITTING THAT TEXAS DRAWL PERFECTLY, I AM YELLING

#Joel's accent is one of my fav things dont @ me #the fact that Troy Baker is FROM Tx so he played up his actual accent #idk much about Pedro but if that accent is put on its INCREDIBLE

AS a Texan and someone WITH a drawl, I LOVE it when you can tell actors did their work when it comes to the accent. (And here in Tx theres like 6 different regional accents and its the CORRECT one for the Dallas/Austin area!) like it’s the same I’d imagine for Brits or Australians when someone doesnt just default to Stereotypical British and actually does the right one. It just makes the character-details part of my brain SING. It just shows a lot of care for the character

nope. no. the emergency vehicles going by NOOOPE. CAN I EXIT OUT NOW. I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE

NOPE. Fuck THAT

the kept the Its Not Working fake out. fml

THE NOKIA DAD PHONE. JOEL PLS

oh my god that exchange Joel and Tommy have it sounds DEAD ON like the game. Except in the game the call was to Sarah but like this is PERFECT  

“Which jail, Travis County?”  “Yeah the one on 10″ idk I just love these lines when you can tell the people know what theyre talking about. Subtle little awesome thing as someone who lives close by   (And yeah, very Texan to ask which jail or which official building by the county and not the city, which is apparently how people in other states do it)

oh god. the lights and noises and IMAGINE what Sarah must be going through, Joel isnt there...even if you dont know whats coming thats gonna be really upsetting. 

This is actually worse and more ominous than in the game

holy fuck the look on Sarah’s face when she turns the tv on to see the alert...Nico Parker is a KILLER actress, I can SEE her blood running cold 

SARAH THE ALERT SAID STAY INDOORS. BRING THE DOG IN AND LOCK THE DOOR. DO NOT GO WANDERING AROUND.

NOOOOOO

FUCK. THAT.

THATS DISGUSTING AND HORRIFYING

“You killed her” “Baby Im sorry” And that right there is the horror

OH MY GOD THAT SHOT OF THE NEIGHBOR GOING TO HELP THE INFECTED JOEL RAN DOWN WITH THE CAR AND THEN GETTING ATTACKED

holy shit everything about this is....its like shot for shot, the dialogue is perfect...this is...like its horrific but its done so fucking well. im in horrified AWE

that fear from Sarah, trying to reason it through..."but you'd have to go a lot, right" just. ive been there. This is so...obviously it hits harder after covid but. They hit the visceral FEAR of the unknown..."are we sick, how do you know" just. 2 lines. they expanded on this idea by TWO LINES. and it makes it so much more chilling

this is so. I cant even get words. Im not even 30 minutes in

Sarah being the audience surrogate and having the camera literally from her pov, following HER and where SHES looking, exactly like the game mechanic...we’re with her the whole way through and we experience everything through her eyes, not Tommy or Joel...so the fear is MORE

just holy shit the DIRECTION in this. Everything si done so rihght

there are just no words. that 10 minutes that follow Sarah’s death and the jump to 20 years later...gut wrenching

the way Ellie kicks that tray like the PAUSE as she puts her foot down...such an intentional thing and I LOVE IT ts SPOT ON

BELLA IS PERFECT AS ELLIE HOLY SHIT

“seven...eight...fuck...you” AMAZING

people commenting on “she seems to angry/too quick to attack” like...the live action Ellie goes to attack Marlene but thats about the only added on this. Everything else she did IN THE GAME. I think its the fact that Bella actually LOOKS young that makes people realize

like I dont understand people like “she got tougher over the story” No. She got more TRAUMATIZED and yes got more capable at fighting. But she STARTS OUT hard and tough and SOFTENS. She runs parallel and also counter to Joel. SO much of her attitude at the beginning is just a show and I think people miss that

technically speaking Tess and Joel's relationship didnt NEED more screentime, you knew exactly their relationship with what we got but I love these new/expanded scenes with them

MARLENEEEEE.

“...You my fucking mom or something?” “Do I look like your mom?” “Nooo, you do not.” lmao AMAZING  (I mean TECHNICALLY no...)

“was Riley a terrorist?” DO NOT--  if we get that flashback I’ll CRY

GOD. For people who dont know the endgame, they have no idea how hards Marlene’s “you will die” comment to Ellie hits but NOBODY IS BLACK OR WHITE MORALITY ITS ALL SHADES OF GREEEEYYY

ELLIE JUST ATTACKING JOEL RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE AND HIM OWNING HER LMAO

“IM not going with them!” oh my god she sounded like game Ellie

“Kim you dont have a fucking ear on your FUCKING HEAD could you please!?” oh my god

“What are they capable of?” going back to what I said before: Ellie is still a KID. She talks and acts tough (and she is!) and she grew up at the end of the world but shes still a KID who lived her whole 14 years in a military school and got pinged by Marlene the second she left. And it becomes more clear if you know HOW she got infected...she doesnt know ANYTHING about what the world is like outside the QZ. And thats the most heartbreaking part of the story is her going through those horrors. It’s why her and Joel’s relationship is important add to that that shes LITERALLY in the middle of everyone looking back and forth and being traded and called cargo shes CLUELESS and I wanna hug her 

“Asshole!” thats no way to talk to your dad

also her knife I cry

“yall talk it through but please remember that I’m bleeding out” I FUCKING LOVE MARLENE OK

“Joel. Dont fuck this up. Please” I mean if you told him WHY....

ok but AGAIN. Ellie knows a smuggling code because SHES LITERALLY BEEN RAISED BY THE MILITARY but its just this childish way of blurting it out--something that you dont say out loud out of an abundance of caution--and so easily. Really hammering home that she may KNOW the way the world operates but she doesnt know the how or why...

that “okaaay sorr-y” kind of handmotion lol

“your watch is broken” GOD thats some subtle acting from Pedro. FUCK

also whereas in the game it felt like an idle observation, here it kinda feels like its a tiny bit spiteful. Like shes pointing it out to annoy him.

“you know where to go. so we’re gonna be ok?” parallel that to Sarah asking if theyre sick...the daughter figure looking to the father figure for reassurance that everythings gonna be ok. when deep down they both know it isnt goddamnit

“code broken”    that was SO MEAN but I love it and Joel was about to dad lecture but AGAIN Bella NAILED Ellie’s mannerisms, the way she draws out words or the little head tilts

“Holy shit Im actually outside” AGAIN. the childish excitement. because shes a kid seeing something new and has no clue how serious things are about to get

THE PIPE. FROM RIGHT BEFORE THE CUTSCENE

...does the shot of the officer feel a little like...too much like Bumbling Cop...?

BELLAS ACTING, ELLIE STEELING HERSELF LIKE 3 TIMES BEFORE ACTUALLY MOVING THIS CAST IS WAY TOO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK 

also that scream when she does it. You KNOW this girl has never been in a real combat situation like this

....so I figured they might lean a little heavier on Joel’s PTSD and explore it but I didnt expect them to draw that parallel. SHIT

the look on Ellie’s face

Idk how I feel about that ending. like the show itself spectacular and I love the tie in with the 80s song = danger so its a callback but it feels a little like. Upbeat Hm. Anyone else feel like its a bit out of place?

[cfsten]

So far in this little introduction to the world according to Sten (that's me, btw) I've told you that I did have a plan, but the universe decided to be a dick and set fire to it. Figuratively speaking. I've talked about amassing an impressive amount of debt in order to acquire a degree, aka the key to the creative and cultural industries where artistically minded introverts may be gainfully employed. I've also mentioned that I've struggled with gargantuan levels of anxiety and depression since childhood, possibly due to undiagnosed neurodivergence.

Today, I thought I would build on that by talking about why, as someone who recoils at the thought of being in the spotlight, I became an artist. And that takes us all the way back to a six-year-old boy who didn't quite fit into the stereotype of what he should be like. 

I remember seeing two boys in our pre-school bonding over their love of drawing, and they had so much fun I wanted so badly to get in on that. Initially, it was all about the camaraderie, but as a child with anxiety and a speech impediment, I think I was drawn to creative expression. Over the next six years I fell in love with arts, games, music, and storytelling and spent most of my time immersing myself into fictional worlds. It paved the way for me to attend a local arts college (where I got my GCSE's and A-levels in arts, photography, and design) before moving on to university. But herein lies the problem.

The point of any creative endeavour (outside of what we do just because we enjoy it) is to put our work, and by extension, ourselves, out there. The work is not complete until it's published. I understand that, but the idea of "success" has always scared the hell out of me. I have had many opportunities to grow a bigger following and capitalise on my skills, but I have a tendency to self-sabotage and keep myself tucked away in the cosy comfort zone that is my home, my family, my girlfriend, and my cats. I love it here, but I want more.

Moving to a new, safe, and affordable place was a big step forward. There is no more external chaos to hide behind now, but I still have daily battles with my old friends, Anxiety and Imposter Syndrome. They keep telling me I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve to have what I'm dreaming of, and that privacy is better than failure. Truth is, there's a part of me that believes them, but with coaching and some degree of gentle arm-twisting, I've spent the past few months taking stock of my situation and weighing up my choices.

I could go look for a better paid job and accept that I have a ridiculously expensive hobby. Alternatively, I could put myself out there and do what I was planning to do from the start. It may sound like a simple choice, but it wasn't. Still isn't. Anxiety really is a bitch, and the thought of going pro with all that entails makes me feel sick, but I do believe it's time for me to finally speak up about my dreams and aspirations. To nail down my goals, keep myself accountable by sharing them, and learn to acknowledge what I've accomplished instead of hyper-focussing on what I haven't.

It was a co-incidence that I stumbled across this Ko‑fi Sharetember challenge last night, but the timing could not have been better. I am going to do this, and here’s how and why I think it will help me:

I have a dream: I want to work and I want to settle down with my girlfriend. I believe in the projects I've been working on, and in the ones I have on the slush pile. It would take some time, but it's not entirely unrealistic to think I could make a living out of this. Like art, dreams have to be shared and this challenge is based on the idea of building a platform and sharing it.

I need a challenge: I could easily get stuck just thinking of all the problems and obstacles I'm going to face, and I've turned self-deprecation into an art form. To make my dreams come true, I need a space where I can share my artwork and other digital products. If I can stick to the challenge, I may actually have a fully functional Ko‑fi platform by the end of this month. 

I want to share: Well, want may be too strong a word here, but I’m not going to shy away from talking about mental health. It's hard to put yourself out there when you are your own worst critic, and I know many people have felt the same at some point or to some degree. I’m still figuring out how to live with my issues and be creative, and I think it would be helpful to share the journey with anyone who can relate. And anyone who just wants to be supportive and tag along to see where this road leads.  

It's been a very long time since I could post 25 random social media updates in a month, so this is taking me way out of my comfort zone. I'm not just doing this for the sake of the challenge, though. This is to hold myself accountable and force myself to keep moving forward, one step at a time.

So, here we go. I've just taken another step and earned my first check mark on the challenge card: 

✅ Introduce yourself 

[fasa-umich]

My Experience in FASA Through Cryptic Song Lyrics <3 || Angeli Fandiño, FASA'S 2022 - 2023 Co-Social Chair

“Feels like we’ve been through war together. Feels like you’ve been right here forever. But I don’t even know you at all.” - I Don’t Know You At All, Lizzy McAlpine

bucket hat baby!

Before my college career, I genuinely had no concept of what it meant to be Filipino. I grew up thinking that being Filipino was just a fact of life—it wasn’t my identity. I only knew some Filipino dishes, I had only been to the Philippines twice in my lifetime, and (surprise surprise) I couldn’t speak Tagalog. If you asked me who I was while I was still in high school, I would’ve responded with adjectives like athletic, musical, funny, or stubborn. My Filipino culture was always a part of me subconsciously, but it was never an aspect of my personality that I found worthy of conversation with people outside of my immediate family. It was much easier to acknowledge my Filipino heritage through jokes about the brownness of my skin or by contributing to my classmates’ ill comments on Asian stereotypes. I often look back at the person I was throughout my childhood and wish that I hadn’t been so indifferent to learning about my culture, but that’s why I am now so grateful that FASA has given me this opportunity to explore the part of identity that I had once suppressed for so long. 

“You gave me a meaning to my life, yes, I’ve gone beyond existing. And it all began when I met you.” - When I Met You, APO Hiking Society

“OMG LOOK, it’s Greenwood—the super cool, underground but upcoming Filipino American cover band at U of M that performs a wide range of genres from OPM to R&B and indie rock!!!” – real anonymous gen mem

When I first joined FASA, I’ll admit that I originally felt obligated to because of how involved my older sister Bea was. I already knew a majority of Bea’s friends, so joining FASA was more of a “why not?” situation than it was a “how could I pass this up?” opportunity. My thinking quickly shifted though at Fall Mass Meeting last year. I vividly remember the boba push with my small group after the event and traversing as a large Filipino clan from Rackham to Ding Tea. I think this was honestly one of the first times in my life that I had hung out with Asian people outside of my family. It sounds soo cliche, but it was on that walk that I started to feel different about my Fil-Am identity. I remember how welcoming and conversational everyone was and how eager we all were to learn each other's names. Never had I ever thought that I could find a community so fast, let alone in a demographic of people that I once wanted nothing to do with. From that day on, I involved myself in every FASA event that my busy schedule would allow, and I’ve made friendships here that I know will last a lifetime. 

“This weight’s too much alone. Some days I can’t hold it at all; you take it on for me. When tomorrow’s too much, I’ll carry it all, I got you.” - I Got You, Jack Johnson

my lovely e-board family &lt;3

Confession time! Even though I was elected for Social Chair this year, I actually only went to a grand total of 2 out of the 7 social events as a freshman (half of Fall Mass Meeting, Fall FAM/Lin Reveal, and [not even] half of FAM Games). This was quite frustrating because almost all of the major events I missed were due to scheduling conflicts or prior commitments. I thought that I was “falling behind” in making friends in FASA because I had been so used to that high school mindset of “establish a friend group and stick to it.” However, I could not have been more naive. I eventually learned that although FASA can look like a large or intimidating community at a glance, it quickly becomes family. FASA has taught me that anyone and everyone is welcome here, whether you are Filipino by blood or Filipino by love (#FACT2022). 

This is why I wanted to run for Social Chair last year (aside from the fact that Amanda had been planting seeds since Day 1 and I’m an easily convincible person); I wanted to cater towards the members of FASA who, maybe like me, also had packed schedules and could only attend a small handful of social events. With every event I put on, I wanted to create an environment where new faces would feel safe to be themselves and eventually call FASA home. Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to attempt any of this vision without this incredible board and especially the following people…

“Cause we’re okay, we’re fine. Baby I’m here to stop your crying… Adding up the total of a love that’s true, multiply life by the power of two.” - Power of Two, Indigo Girls

Bea (left), appearing age: 14; Angeli (right), appearing age: older?

(Ate) Bea: Thank you for introducing me to this home away from home. Thank you for letting me have the same friends as you and follow you around at FASA events whenever I would get anxious. I’ve definitely said a whole Senior Farewell speech about how much you mean to me, so you can refer to that again if you want to be reminded of more warm n fuzzies 🥱. But honestly, in high school, I wish I had a better appreciation for what it meant that you were a single Performance Chair who choreographed PCN and choreographed/competed in Battle, and the fact that you were Co-President during an entirely virtual school year is nothing to gloss over either. I might be a little late to the game, but I’m very proud and impressed of all that you accomplished within FASA. Thank you for leading by example of how to embrace my Fil-Am self, and I’m so glad we could share this community together. 

Me and Mandy at the intern event last year &lt;3

Amanda: I’ll never forget how you recruited me to FASA before I even set foot on campus as a freshman. We were at Lucas’ grad party over the summer, we were standing by the dunk tank, and the conversation went something like this…

Amanda: Hey! Are you Bea’s sister? I’m Amanda, Sam’s cousin!

Me: Oh yes I am! Hi, nice to meet you!

Amanda: I’m the social chair. You should join FASA.

Me: ..Okay.

FAST FORWARD >> It’s a little bit over a year ago today, and the scene is set in one of the union basement booths (duh)...

Amanda: Hey are you running for board?

Me: Uhhh maybe, I’m not sure yet. I was thinking about it.

Amanda: You should run for social chair.

Me: Okay.

If you had not planted these seeds, I would not be here! You’ve been a major support system to me in FASA since, quite literally, Day 0. I know I can always count on you for honest advice and just a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for showing Andrew and I the ropes of being socials and never getting (visibly) annoyed at our many questions or concerns. I simply could not have pictured my FASA experience, let alone my time as social, without you <3. See you at the next lin hang! Haha get it cuz–

Alyssa and JC: Hey slays. I just wanted to pop in here and say that I think we finally squashed the beef this year (#walangbeef). This “socials vs culturals” war has gone on long enough, and I thank you guys for constantly being an open ear and available resource in all the events Andrew and I put on this year. Andrew and I might’ve grumbled at first at the idea of implementing elements of culture into every social event, but you helped us find ways to make it fun and intentional. I’m constantly amazed at the duo you guys are, as real recognizes real 🤝. I have really enjoyed working with you guys on board this year, and I am so proud of the work we accomplished together. Cheers to no more beef ❌🥩🥂

Sophia Grace Samson: you are so wrong for that angelisa pic. even though you were not too kind to me in your own testimonial, i’ve decided to turn the other cheek (heh) and write you a nice poem anyway. ahem…

Roses are red 🌹,

Violets are blue 🫐,

To my favorite nickels 🪙 ,

I’m so glad I met you 🥰 

here’s to more waffle house adventures, nickel debriefs, and trips to urgent care!

xoxo,  

foop

“Caught you cryin’ cuz you be jealous. Don’t be whinin’ if you wanna be us 😎” - [REDACTED], Andreli

your friendly neighborhood social chairs, Andreli 🕷️🕸️

Andrew: Story time! For anyone who doesn’t know, the first time Andrew and I met was not a positive experience (yes I am going to expose the both of us here). Andrew and I had dm’d a bit over the summer because Bea and Mango (hi mom, hi dad) suggested we become friends going into the school year to have a familiar face on campus. After maybe a couple weeks of chatting, I kinda ghosted Andrew (oops) and we didn’t end up meeting until the first day of Tagalog. Ate Irene had asked everyone why we all wanted to learn Filipino, and Andrew answered with, “I’m tired of my parents talking about me behind my back.” Everyone laughed, but apparently he looked over at me and I had a “scary,” unamused, dead expression. I was planning on introducing myself after class, but he immediately zipped out of the room and I thought to myself, “wow rude,” just to find out later that it was because he was scared of me! But wowow, fast-forward 19 months later, and here we are… 

Mannn, you already know that I couldn’t have done this job with anybody else. There are so many little traditions that I’m going to miss as co’s: post-meeting jam sessions, CAPS massage chairs, our outro + tagline, and just sitting for hours in the Union Panera bouncing off ideas until our brains are completely fried. Even though we always joke we’re the exact same person, I’ve learned a lot from you this year. You taught me how to never doubt myself and always give 110% into whatever I care about. You also taught me that although we are both perfectionists, nothing is ever going to go according to the original plan. We had to be alert yet composed at all times, which was never an easy task. As tiring of a position as Social Chair is, I never felt like either one of us settled with an event. We held each other accountable while understanding how to take space when needed. All of the ambitious and elaborate events we’ve pulled off continue to amaze me and make me proud of our tenure together. From planning a whole scavenger hunt and escape room to forming a real band with Greenwood (shoutout to Catrina, our third og member), I’m really amazed at the team we’ve become. Thanks for always keeping my ego in check, for becoming one of my best friends, and for being the best co I could ask for. Action items: GenAPA, be mush, and finish writing our album!

To the future Social Chairs: Simply put, this position and your time on board is whatever you make it to be. The biggest piece of advice I have for you is to never forget your “why”-- why did you run for social chair, what is the impact you want to leave on this community, and how are you going to do so? It’s easy to think that as a social chair, you have to constantly go above and beyond, always innovating and creating until you burn yourself out. Something I wish I knew at the beginning of the year was that although it can be fun to constantly invent new ideas, FASA can always use more laidback, chill events too. Remember, you facilitate da vibes. It doesn’t always have to be “go big or go home.” Just be there for your general members and they’ll see that you care <3. Be alert, don’t be too prideful to ask for help, pivot on the fly, and trust in your co. I’m very excited to see what you guys accomplish next year, and I will happily be here for support if you ever need anything!

awww yeahhhh!!

To FASA: A lot of other people joke that my only personality trait nowadays is being Filipino, but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for being the community that has taught me how to be my most honest and unapologetic self. You’ve been responsible for the most meaningful aspects of my college experience thus far, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. It’s been a pleasure being your Social Chair this year, and I’ll see you around!

Signing off for now, your friendly neighborhood Social Chair, 

Angeli <3

[simscastaway]

Nah, a guy tried slagging off my music taste during a house party because I had a say so/like that mashup in my likes and had to take it back when he actually listened to it cause it’s a bop highkey.

[gonuclear]

i’m so mad i could bite the bark off a tree so humor me in my ranting. 

i saw this tiktok and while agreeing with it, almost just scrolled past it. but i decided to take a look at the comments to see if anyone agreed with my long held sentiment, and boy was that comment section like taking hit after hit of psychic damage. because everyone in there was right. the one that stood out to me the most was one of the first comments on the video: “they only like us in captivity, not in the wild.” 

especially on tiktok there is this massive trend of characters becoming trends, of people cherry picking aspects of said character in order to make them more palatable to the masses. i can’t speak on wednesday because i haven’t seen it, so i’ll be using the other most recent example of eddie from stranger things. (also seeing as he was one of the characters mentioned in the original video.) yes, i will admit i am not immune to my enjoyment of a character being influenced by their popularity. this works both ways; my enjoyment may increase or decrease depending on the content i see and how i feel about the character (you see someone enough and you kinda get tired of them, y’know?). but what happens, primarily on tiktok, is something so much worse than a character just becoming popular. 

it’s a wash of (typically) neurotypical, able bodied women (though men are not excluded from this) who don these characters they “love” as a costume without ever acknowledging why these characters actually behave the way they do. they venerate and romanticize traits that they’ll turn around and bully neurodivergent kids, teens, and adults for because to them it’s just a character. that’s not how people really act. 

they make behaviors and actions that are overtly, or sometimes even stereotypically, neurodivergent into a trend and for what? what’s the fucking point? what’s the point if when someone who is actually neurodivergent says they relate to a character because of that fact and all they get is told no? there’s such an obsession among neurotypical people and mainstream media with having a token “weirdo” and i can damn fucking near tell you with absolute certainty that whatever character it is will be noticeably neurodivergent to anyone who is neurodivergent as well. 

it seems like the fucking second anyone who’s neurodivergent claims a character as one of their own neurotypicals who act like they’re the final authority on characters vehemently tell them that they’re wrong. thank god i and many other neurodivergent folks have found circles in which this is accepted, and oftentimes a common occurrence, because our experience of fandom would be so much worse without it. 

the weirdos are made for us. characters like eddie are made for the kids who played dnd, who listened to music they said belonged to the devil, who never fit in and never really wanted to. do you know how gratifying it is to see a character that’s just as loud and dramatic as you are on tv when you’ve been made fun of for the same thing your whole life? how it feels to see them be loved and appreciated and valued by their friends? the hope it gives you to see them be included, and never pushed away or ignored? 

there is a camaraderie built between these types of characters and their fans. a kinship, a bond formed when you look at a character and think “hey, they’re just like me”. but something in that bond is damaged when the kinds of people who would make fun of you, or make fun of the character should they exist in real life, try to change the narrative and say that character belongs to only them. they use the characters’ actions as trends then when neurodivergent people act that way in real life they’re recorded in public or have their videos reposted with captions making fun of them for just being themselves. i’m not saying you can’t enjoy a character, but at a certain point you have to realize that sometimes you’re not the target audience, and when the target audience speaks up you damn well better listen. 

[supernova-151]

violetta season two: final thoughts

hiiiiiii. so. season two is over huh. damn. what the hell!!!! this feels like the end of an era. i started s2 in march and finished just the other day which...i think doesn't reflect well enough just how much i think this is technically the best season of the show. the plotlines are powerful, the characters go through real growth and are interesting, and it's actually unpredictable! there are plot twists, people! so. lets go through it like we did the first time: storylines, characters, ships, songs. you ready? i sure am(n't)

storylines

alright, so, let's get this out of the way: this season's villains are easily among the most multifaceted characters of the series. there is no "big baddie", in my opinion everything feels very real. the conflicts are human and the choices the characters make (not all the characters but we'll get there) feel grounded and sensical to their development. so much so that when you take these season's new villains (diego, esmeralda) and compare them to the regular s1 ones (ludmila, jade) you definitely feel that...you're watching a show that is growing up with its audience, you know? like you KNOW how much i love my girls but there's a tone shift there that is hard not to notice. despite all the new cast introductions and just how much we are working with, the season never feels particularly stuffy, and for one reason or another i found myself enjoying most of the plotlines. my glaring, impossible to ignore issue was with the jeremias storyline. it completely ruined that middle of the season and i didn't feel the desire to continue watching as much because of it. fortunately i stuck through it once and i can do it again, still...mid-season 2 is not exactly my favourite. despite this, first and last 15-20 episodes? i love them sm. the first ones bc the campiness of s1 gradually shifts into something else (and im not here saying s2 isn't campy but, you get me) and it has some absolutely stellar episodes in my opinion (the sleepover? fran's birthday???? though i think that's further than first 20 but we'll let it slide). and the last ones just bc i love the conclusions this season has for the characters: gregorio and diego, violetta and struggling to find her love for music again, ludmila and the weight of her actions starting to weigh down on her...it's (you guessed it!) a lot for my little heart!!!

(just bc i want to mention it, the racism plotlines were really not it though. the Chinese restaurant was in no way, shape or form influential to the plot so completely unnecessary stereotypes. and well, we all know why the esmeralda/german wedding was edited so. awful awful awful, but still, we should acknowledge it exists as much as it sucks. yikes.)

characters

last time i didnt properly introduce this, but i think with such a big ensemble we should divide the characters into three categories: hall of fame (my besties, my best friends, the yassiests), hall of shame (disappear off the face of the earth immediately or face my wrath rn), and in memoriam (one time thing, but we love you anyway). characters i don't mention are just the ones i have nothing to say about.

onto the hall of fame!

vilu stays a likeable and real main character once more. like im sorry i do not get the s1-2 vilu hate she is literally the main character???? like do you want the plot to just stay stale forever??? of course she's gonna make questionable choices! what are we even talking about. but my baby goes through SO MUCH this season, from angie to german to diego one right after the other like it was getting capital b Bad for my capital b Bestie there and im so so glad she found herself again in the end. her growth is so admirable, so much so that then s3 happens and everyone's like ???? but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

i have previously mentioned how i thought fran didn't get to shine properly in s1 due to a certain annoying whiny pissbaby nobody misses, but HELLO????? s2 opens the door for a much funnier, smarter and, let's face it, better character. i LOVE fran, she's one of my favourite characters! she gets her boytoy this season and it's what she deserves!!! and i love the fact that she canonically gets recognition from people around her for her voice because. HELLO. HER VOICE. ma'am i am completely head over heels for you. my Italian sister i ALWAYS said that

cami stays in this section. no need to explain why. i am so mad she gets so screwed over in the love department, but she is so so funny and the traffic light book was so 😭😭😭 when i stop and think about it realistically, i am probably personality-wise the most like cami, so i love to see that unhinged chaos...makes me feel represented yknow. well. i mean.

if we're talking chaos. let's open up this discussion. is ludmila ok? do we as a society need to create a trust fund to get this girl to therapy? probably. does she remain the most entertaining, off-the-rails, pathetic little bitch of the series? like why are you even asking me that. i said it in my s1 post, ill say it here: you can't like violetta as a show and not like ludmila. unfortunately she gets shot directly into your DNA and you cannot possibly escape from her. no matter how much you try. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY. i need this girl's confidence. i need her mentality in life cause this girl is always so sure she is the smartest in the room and it cannot be further from the truth and im sorry it is SO SO funny help. s3 is a rollercoaster for her so i am glad she's getting some rest rn. she'll need it.

speaking of characters you can't not like, naty remains my skrunkly ever. my babygirl. my little baby. i love her in ways the human mind will never understand. i want her to destroy me. she's in her emancipation era and i am cheering from the sidelines. she is MY hero. she is MY queen. she gave me the finest jealousy plotline she could. she gave me that damn drums scene and...lord have mercy on my soul. the best. THE best

leon, you, my man, are a powerful bitch. you are THAT bitch and you know it. iconic, spectacular, not ever been done before. he is the bi representation we always deserved. he is currently raising all of your standards and doing it flawlessly. nothing else to say. stay totally mental for us

and diego complements that perfectly. he is the insufferable bitch to leon’s irritability and he is unstoppable and he is a menace to society and i hate him and he is a lot but like. he is OUR trash raccoon yknow. like he is the worst but we collectively decided to leave food out the door so he doesn’t have to keep ravaging our bins. you get what i mean.

marco is here everyone clap!!!! pathetic meow meow!! this boy is wonderful he is corny as all hell but he is so sweet. and i love him dearly. i love this for us as a society we needed a marco i think.

angie…now i’m going to say something controversial yet brave cause you KNOW i love angie so so much…but i think she should’ve stayed in france THERE I SAID IT. i’ll come back to this when i get to it in s3 but i really don’t like how after a while her plot is only exclusively jeremias/german related. with the decision to leave her life behind (and with that the toxic mindset that was keeping her trapped) the fact that she comes back in s3 and goes down THAT route again...is just very sad to me. i think she should've maybe come back for a few episodes in s3, slay the house down and put german in his place as she always does, and then keep living her best life in France.

jade has done NOTHING WRONG EVER. NOTHING WRONG EVER!!!!!! SAY IT WITH ME NOTHING. WRONG. EVER. good, let's move on.

gregorio gets the most memorable arc in the shape of a mid-life crisis that culminates in somehow becoming the best dad in the series. and we love to see it! my absolute beloved and once again, rodrigo pereira gives his most and i can only watch in awe. i don't trust people who don't like gregorio it has to be said.

parodi i am so sorry. i am so so sorry. you have no idea how sorry i am. i guess it happens to the best of us.

antonio is as always the only sane man in a world of crazy people. iirc at a certain point someone tells him (maybe dufre but im not sure) that he should open a whole new studio with new teachers and he's like. ABSOLUTELY NOT THIS IS MY CIRCUS!!! antonio my absolute beloved i am treasuring all the time I've got left with you because i love you so so much

and to no one's surprise, my favourite stays and will stay my queen, my legend, my moment, miss lena vidal. everyone clap for lena. she gets her 3-4 fun little episodes, brings the house down with her vocals, reads EVERYONE to filth and just leaves again. the MVP. THE MVP!!!!!

and now, the hall of shame. but like it's always the same three men so.

german has no excuse to do the shit he does this season. and you'd think after the jeremias fiasco he like, chills down and learns from his mistakes?? absolutely not, he makes scenes in front of HER DAUGHTER'S CLASSMATES bc she won a contest and is travelling to another country. he wants to hire a BODYGUARD???? WTF???? unforgivable piece of garbage who needs to get as far from his daughter as humanly possible. your little piano moment won't work with me old man! you are a menace to society!!! get help!!!!!

i think we all agree with the fact that we should lock matias in a jail cell and lose the key. gaslighter gatekeeper manipulator mansplainer. AND HE GETS A HOT GIRLFRIEND????? UNDESERVEDDDDDD.

it's not marotti's worst season but i am a marotti hater so he should be included here. what are you gonna do, sue me? make me sign an NDA?

unfortunately pablo has to be moved to this section for this season. he is insufferable and rude and uncaring towards the people who need him the most and does absolutely nothing to fix or recognise his mistakes??? he gets a little better in the end but he is so nonsensical and suchhh a hypocrite. wdym angie can't leave because of family emergencies but jeremias can come and go as he pleases???? ASS!

dufre irritates me so im putting him here too

in memoriam of my sweet princesses:

lara, you were just a cool little mechanic. got swept up in probably the messiest couple drama of buenos aires and we respect you so much for leaving we really do, you deserve the world. esmeralda, MY GOD WHAT A SMART AND LAYERED CHARACTER. i am unapologetically in love with you. you were not campy enough to survive the season i fear. still waiting for your epic revenge plan against the lafontaines, i would love to see it. i so so wish we had an update on you- i wish you and your messy iPad kid the best. and jackie...you did not deserve s2 pablo i am so sorry. in the end, you probably only wanted the best for your uncle. were you still unnecessarily mean at times? yeah but i mean, you looked hot during it so. ok but for real i don't like how they just get rid of her character because they clearly had no idea what to do with her anymore, and she gets to be the "crazy girlfriend" when she had every right to be doubtful of pablo's relationship with angie!!!! jackie i see you i understand you and i love you. we'll meet again some sunny day but PLEASE stop doing that weird jump dance move it haunts my nightmares i swear. ana, every day i remember you're not a fever dream i have to stop and think about it. you, YOU are the undisputed chaos god.

ships

let's as always start with canon (as in happened during the season), and then non-canon (it was real TO ME).

leonetta remain as always THE canon ship for me. as much as i can not enjoy or care for side ships and endgames, leonetta always always set the standard and my god......the lengths these two will go to for each other is impressive yall. impressive. they're everything. and once again, im enjoying them before s3 comes and destroys them again.

also dieletta is there! it's a ship i enjoy exactly with what it is: it has its sweet moments but...diego was the antagonist of the season. that was the whole point. they have an interesting run and they ARE cute but the way they break it off it's pretty much impossible for me to imagine them ever working together in a romantic environment again. am i explaining myself correctly? probably not. whatever, you get it.

on the note of enjoying a ship for what it is, leonara had a good run too. i felt even more with my rewatch that lara knows that leon's heart is never truly in it, though, and that makes me feel so sad for her. she truly deserves better - not in the sense that leon wasn't a good boyfriend for her, simply because she doesn't deserve to be plunged in the middle of the messiest exes to lovers plotline ever.

marcesca i enjoy even only because fran gets someone GOOD who loves her and her only. but they're cute too so i actually enjoy them a lot. HE LEARNED ITALIAN FOR HER. HE FLEW TO MADRID FOR HER. omg their HUGSSSSS. you two will always have a special place in my heart.

fuck it, i'll say it: late brodmila s2 rights!!! those last few episodes with their over-the-top antics, from the "let's pretend we don't know each other" act to the trials (?????) to them just finally accepting how they're so different but similar at the same time??? AND THAT HUG AT THE END???? im not ready to talk about it actually its a lot. i found myself liking cami/seba in this rewatch, too, but the way they conclude that storyline absolutely sucks and though i do not enjoy s3 brodmila in my head i pretend everything is alright at the moment. once again, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

naxi are once again really cute! good for them happy for them! i won't go too much into it just cause i don't wanna start anything, but i don't really like their back and forth at the end of the season and how maxi goes from trusting to not trusting her one ep to the other. still. good for them happy for them.

fedemila are also really cute! i think i realised my problem with them is just that i don't like nor care for fede as a character very much 😭 he does a lot and is SO nice and supportive and we thank him for his service but idk. i tried really hard this time around but i still am completely neutral about him. sorry to this man. thank you for giving us the binary star metaphors though, that was absolutely epic of you. ludmila was READY right there in the fish tank i still find that so funny

and hey. let me mourn caxi for a second. i am the self proclaimed number one caxi enjoyer and i like to live in my little bubble of whatifs. they were something don't you think so. roaring twenties tossing pennies in the pool. and if my wishes came true.........it would've been caxi endgame OR AT LEAST A BETTER STORYLINE. DO IT PROPERLY OR DONT DO IT AT ALL!!!!!

german and matias ships deserve absolutely no rights and thus i won't speak about them. on the same note, pablo/jackie too. im sorry, she deserved better.

onto the non-canon and hey, i know what you're here for.

nothing else to say. NEXT!

s2 is referred as THE franletta season and damn it you are all so right for that. the babygirls. the besties. they love each other so, so much. the Italy storyline was A LOT. fran couldn't bear thinking of her life without vilu AND VILU DID EVERYTHING TO KEEP FRAN WITH HER AND FRAN CAME TO HER FIRST WHEN SHE KNEW SHE WAS STAYING!!!!! they're wonderful. they're magical. they're perfect and they're holding hands rn

oh, have to mention: fran/ana? i am intrigued. i would like to see it. the vision has opened itself to me and i am visioning it. we shall see.

cadmila gave me a lot this season and i have to thank them anyway cause they're always on my mind for one reason or another but shh. let's all pretend they hate each other and didn't make out on stage during 2x80 si es por amor (which we very conveniently didn't get to see. hmm.)

shoutout to the biest couple ever dieleon. OHO, BISEXUALITY WON INDEED. it's about the touches, the nods, the tension, the stares, and no one told you to get that close to each other yknow. but that's your thing you do you kings.

jadangie have little to no interaction this season but hey, if us jadangie truthers had to go off of canon interactions only we would be nowhere right now. however, shoutout to the greats of this season! jadesmeralda (who i love love love and think of constantly) and angie/jackie (hard to keep in mind that they're not canonically exes). and also, because i thoroughly enjoy jade stealing the toxic men in her life's women, jarodi. it was good for me as a jade enjoyer this season.

songs

i must've said it a million times by now but it begs repeating: season 2 is, UNDOUBTEDLY, the best season music-wise. i LOVE these songs to bits. not even close. but let me illustrate this in a tier list because my feelings are many and my braincells are few. (please not that even the ones i put at the bottom i still love lol yes the season is that good)

in conclusion: season two is one hell of a season. i knew i was gonna have my fun with it and aside from a couple of issues i definitely did. and i hope you had your fun too following along! just to put things in perspective, i have around 580 posts tagged for s1 and nearly 1k for s2 💀 and oh my friends, my friends...imagine how s3 will be for me. im looking forward to it in the way that im going to be completely insane over it, and i mean it. COMPLETELY.

but for now, this is iris violetta s2: electric boogaloo, signing off 🫡

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

Listen. I am feeling extremely anxious to the point I have to remind myself to breathe because I need to talk about Young Royals. What a freaking amazing show. What. A. Freaking. Amazing. Show.

I mean there is so much I want to say about how perfect it is that I am overwhelmed because I have no idea where to start.

Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Yes. There will be spoilers so if you haven't seen it I beg you to stop reading this and watch it at first opportunity.

Let's start with plot. What a plot. It wouldn't be difficult to make a plot where people say cliche things and do stupid stuff and make a story centred around misunderstandings and lack of communication but the writers, god bless them, did not do that. The characters communicated. The story had a life other than the teenagers being stupid and doing stupid teenager things. It moved forward and not at a single point it felt forced or dragged. Basically the story felt less like a story and more like it would if you were to actually start following around a bunch of boarding school teenagers around. Which is to say, realistic af.

The characters. The characters each had their own struggles. They were acknowledged without either being a huge deal or being stereotyped and glossed over. That's a balance which is hard to strike but the show struck it perfectly. No one was perfect and not one character did not grow. The popular girls could have been mean but were genuinely nice. Simon could have been a stereotype but had his own story, a life and friends outside Wilhelm. August was an imbecile and an asshole and the show made sure to highlight that instead of just portraying him as a villain. It would be easy to do that but in real life there are assholes more often than there are villains.

Acting, oh god those actors own my life now. The characters had flaws physically and they had awkward habits and you could actually feel exactly what they were feeling from the actors' faces.

The music. It felt as if the music contributed to the plot rather than just being there because something needs to be there. Omar Rudberg's voice is lovely.

The cinematography. I'm no expert but I just know some scenes wouldn't have been nearly as effective if not for the way they were shot. I mean, at the end when Wilhelm breaks the fourth wall and just stares at you, doesn't it give you goosebumps?

The sub plots. So happy that their romantic relationship wasn't the only thing about the whole show. People aren't only just their love lives, and the show made sure to do justice to that fact. Also really happy with where the plot left off. I want Simon and Wilhelm to be happy together of course, but I know it's not that easy and that their relationship needs to develop through the midst of all of the being outed but not really shit.

I would like to finish off with the highest compliment I can pay any show.

I have always preferred books to movies and shows because the internal monologue lets you feel exactly what the characters are feeling and that's a level of connection that you simply can't get if you're just watching their faces. But this show let me feel those things. It let me be them. More than once while writing this post I accidentally wrote something along the lines of 'reading the show' instead of watching it. Because watching Young Royals was as good as reading a well written book.

P.S. There simply needs to be a second season. I mean. Sara is accepting who she is rather than trying to fit in by kissing handsome assholes. Felice is standing up to her controlling mother. Wilhelm has indirectly acknowledged his relationship with Simon in front of the whole student body. The rebellion has begun. And we will see it to it's end, because if we don't, Netflix headquarters all over the world are burning down.

[hacash]

ted lasso 2x09 thoughts

for an episode that I knew I wasn’t going to be hugely excited about - I like beard, but he’s not one of my faves by any stretch of the imagination - this was really cleverly put together

the precise reason why beard isn’t one of my faves is we get very little to latch onto with him, and this episode did a good job of reversing that: we see coach beard not as ted’s guardian angel or the football-exposition provider, but just as beard: a man clearly dealing with some seriously self-destructive tendencies and one hell of a toxic relationship. also, we all have those little voices that tell us when we’re fucking up and make us feel bad about ourselves, but the fact that beard’s are gary lineker and thierry henry? damn.

(seriously, I know gary lineker mainly as the crisps ad guy rather than the football guy, but seeing him narrate beard’s spiral downwards just had me spluttering.)

beard constantly rewatching the game in his mind’s eye was brutal to watch, but cleverly done as well. I also found it interesting that as well as highlights (well, lowlights) from the match we also saw him relive the moment when he fell over the fence and Ted was left at the side of the pitch clapping the guys on as if nothing was going wrong. tell me that’s not significant, I dare you.

the fact that we had more of the pub regulars was a dream! they really deserved their moment in the sun, and they had so many little wins tonight - I love how they could just be left as a running joke but instead we get to see more of them and end up rooting for them. (particularly in a show set in britain, where the class divides and lingering images of ‘chavs’ could have led to the three mouthy football supporters being seen as a very one-dimensional negative stereotype.)

seriously, if you didn’t cry tears of joy when the boys were playing at nelson road to the tune of ‘we are the champions’, you have a heart of stone.

(uh, and if you didn’t then panic from realising that ‘we are the champions’ is not now being held for the season finale and richmond’s long-desired promotion back to the premier league, you’re a stronger soul than I.)

I absolutely loved how much of this episode felt like weird british pub/club/ambling around London at 1AM in the morning culture. I feel like I’ve had so many of these conversations with my mates myself. and honestly, ‘Just One Cornetto’ was peak drunk brit, and it makes me really sad that most of my american followers won’t quite get how significant and perfect that was.

As an ex-oxford person I can also confirm everything about that scene in the bar was pretty much dead on too.

FUCK ME the moment James Tartt showed his face was worse than any horror movie jump-scare I’ve seen recently.

the significance of Beard continuously dropping his keys was interesting - I wonder if it’s carrying on with the theme of ‘there’s no place like home’ that we’re beginning to see emerge? A sign of his self-destructive tendencies? I like the theory already suggested on here that it’s just a demonstration of the fact that there are always good people around if you just let them help you: Beard has a brutal night, but people who don’t even know him that well like Jeremy and the impeccably-played Big Angry Man are willing and happy to help him get back home.

other folk have written better meta than me about Beard and Jane - I certainly don’t think it’s a healthy relationship and think Beard needs to run, run like the wind, but I found it cleverly done that by the end of the episode I was happy when Beard ran into Jane. he’d been through so much and now he needed a break, needed that rush of endorphins, and she provided it. it was a clever way of showing just why he keeps going back, and although we still don’t want him to stay with her, it provides a good insight into why he goes back.

I’ve said it before and will say it again, but we had direct, verbal confirmation that the coaching team lost Richmond the Man City match. whether you see that snippet as something that only happened in Beard’s imagination - which is significant, he knows something’s wrong and needs to change - or if you think Lineker and Henry were actually saying it out loud - which is also significant, if Gary Lineker and Thierry Henry are criticising your coaching tactics you want to listen - it all boils down to the same thing. the coaching team is heading for trouble, and that’s not just us reading too much into the situation -  the show is actively acknowledging it. colour me both scared and intrigued.

(on a side-note, I thought Lineker and Henry were hilarious in this episode. same goes for all of the sporting personalities they’ve managed to wrangle onto season 2.)

that last scene did exasperate me a little - it feels like even with these inroads into therapy Ted is still going for the classic head-in-the-sand, everything’s-going-to-be-ok-if-we-just-look-at-it-positively approach - but, well, I did like the Benny Hill theme music, even if this feels like the last calm before the storm.

still not quite over the fact that we got zero new colin or isaac content in this ep. I am a simple woman: I want to watch pretty boys being a bit daft and a bit sweet to each other on a regular weekly basis.

[sourwolfandlilred]

Out in west texas, it hardly ever rains

(but when it does, it’s amazing grace)

Stiles Stilinski flipped off the radio, tired of the breathless play-by-play of the Friday night football game. Golden boy quarterback Derek Hale had already scored four touchdowns guaranteeing the “douba-yah”--as it was called around these parts--anyway. 

His jeep bounced along the rutted road as storm clouds gathered in the distance. Heat lightning flashed in the distance, but it would likely burn off before it got to Marfa. 

The church stood sentry on the edge of town, parched dust-cracked earth stretching for miles and miles behind it. Stiles parked the Jeep and headed inside. 

To the piano. 

It was an old model, the C key so worn the ivory dipped where a finger tip would rest. But it played just as pretty as the best grand out there. Stiles didn’t bother with lights, just sat on the bench, and played. 

The thunder accompanied him, a deep bass line that Stiles felt in his chest. By the time he finished the song, his cheeks were damp and the storm had passed. 

***

“You weren’t at the game.”

Stiles slammed his locker and rolled his eyes, side stepping Derek Hale in all his snapback, wanna-be frat boy glory. “While I’m oh-so-flattered that you noticed my absence, me thinks you should get an MRI to check for brain damage if you thought I would show in the first place.”

Derek wasn’t deterred by Stiles’s acid tongue. Instead, he fell in step beside him, despite the fact that Stiles--for reasons he wouldn’t admit to--knew that Derek’s first class was on the opposite side of the school. 

“Would you come if I asked you?”

Stiles stopped abruptly enough to earn himself a curse from the freshmen behind him who hadn’t been expecting. He met Derek’s eyes. “Why would you ask me to?”

The corner of Derek’s mouth ticked up, but it was almost self-conscious rather than smug. “Does it matter?”

***

Stiles went to the fucking game.

***

Lydia Martin hosted a party every friday night to fete the celebrities of their podunk town. Stiles had never been to one, though all sixty-three of their classmates were always invited. The place was too small for bullying tactics and popularity contests.

Someone shoved a red solo cup into Stiles’s hands, and he downed half the contents in one swallow. His fingers itched for smooth ivory and he tried to ignore the jittery sensation of looking for someone in particular. 

“Brooooo, you came,” Scott McCall slurred in Stiles’s ear while slinging an arm around his neck. Stiles took the weight of his drunk, pliant body, turning the tackle into a hug. They rocked like that as Stiles laughed. Scott loved everyone and everyone loved Scott, but Scott loved Stiles best. 

“Hey where’s your QB?” Stiles asked as casually as possible, and Scott beamed at him. Apparently he hadn’t been subtle. 

“Gazebo,” Scott waved, flashing all his white teeth so that his eyes squinted into tiny bits of happiness.

Stiles maneuvered him toward Kira and then wove his way through gyrating bodies and couples who had too little sense of what level of PDA was appropriate. 

When Stiles stepped outside, his skin tingled with the electricity in the air. Something was coming. 

Derek was alone, surprisingly. It seemed like he was forever surrounded by fawning groupies, or at the very least his phalanx of ride-or-die friends. Stiles didn’t bother saying hi as he sat on the bench next to him. 

“Did you have fun?” Derek asked as he took a hit on his joint. Golden-boy wasn’t always so golden. 

Stiles let his legs fall apart until their knees touched. “No.”

“But you came.” Derek said, said without looking at him. 

“But I came,” Stiles agreed, plucking the joint out of his loose fingers. Had they been doing this dance for years now? Stiles couldn’t tell. Derek was a part of the landscape as much as the snow-topped mountains in the distance. 

They’d never really been friends. Stiles’s father was the Sheriff, Derek’s mother the lawyer. They had enough crime that it caused friction between the two families. But they weren’t exactly Romeo and Juliet, either. They were just two dudes trying to make it out of this god-forsaken town anyway they could. 

For Derek that was football. From the Smurf League when they’d been kindergartners it had been obvious exactly where Derek was headed in life. First draft pick for the NFL. 

For Stiles it was the long-shot Juliard--a dream his mother had passed onto him the day she’d died. 

He and Derek were as different as could be, and yet still... 

Maybe it was the way Derek’s eyes lingered on Stiles’s mouth when he took a hit. Maybe it was the Stiles let his hand drop to Derek’s thigh after he handed back the joint. 

Something in the back of Stiles’s brain itched, though. Him and Derek? It wasn’t just two queer kids finding each other in bumble-fuck Texas. He just didn’t know what it was. 

“Do you want to play?” Stiles asked, his eyes on the lights from the house. “Professionally I mean.”

“Nah,” Derek shook his head, earning a sharp glance from Stiles. “It’s what I’m good at but... no.” He laughed softly. “I like my brain intact.”

Stiles huffed out a breath. “Same.”

Derek glanced over. It wasn’t often that Stiles complimented him. Then he lifted one shoulder. They were close enough that it brushed Stiles’s arm. “I’ll use it to pay for college. But I want to be...”

He took a hit instead of continuing, and then handed it over to Stiles. Stiles bumped his knee against Derek’s. “Yeah?”

A blush crawled along Derek’s perfect cheekbones, and Stiles had to look away lest he do something utterly mortifying. 

“I like gardening,” Derek mumbled. “I thought maybe landscape architecture.”

Maybe some version of Stiles would have laughed at the admission. The idea of snap-back wearing, pick-up truck driving, all-American stereotype in the flesh planting daisies should have been funny. 

It wasn’t.

Stiles took a hit. Held the smoke in. Then in one swift move shifted so that he was in Derek’s lap, his knees on either side of Derek’s hips. Derek’s fingers came up, gripped the skin just above the waistband of Stiles’s jeans. 

The moment seemed frozen in time, syrupy and unreal. Stiles leaned in and Derek’s lips parted. Smoke slipped out between them, but in the next moment, Stiles was pressing it into Derek’s mouth. 

Derek breathed it in. Breathed Stiles in, really. 

When they drew apart, Derek’s eyes were wide, almost vulnerable, and Stiles ached with every part of his being. He wanted this to be real. 

So he ran. 

***

The church was as quiet as it always was when Stiles came to practice at the old piano. He made sure of it. 

But for the first time in a long time he didn’t want to play. 

The keys had always offered him an escape, a dreamworld where his mother wasn’t dead, his father wasn’t an alcoholic, and he wasn’t a weird kid who talked too much and dreamed too big for this small Texas town. 

For once, he didn’t want to escape. 

He pressed a thumb to his lower lip, as if he could capture the warmth of Derek there. The way the tip of his tongue had darted out in what had turned into a goodbye. 

“Play for me?” 

Stiles didn’t startle. He’d almost expected Derek to show, though he couldn’t say why.

But you came. But I came. 

Without acknowledging the request, Stiles dropped his fingers onto the keys. Amazing Grace was so easy, he didn’t have to think about it. By the time he finished, Derek was on the bench beside him. “Beautiful.”

Stiles chewed on the inside of his mouth. “My mother taught me how to play.”

A beat. And then, “Do you play because she wanted you to, or do you play because you want to.”

The question struck, like lightning, in the very center of Stiles’s chest. “Does it matter?”

It was a deliberate echo and Derek huffed. “No.” 

Maybe it had seemed like walls going up when that wasn’t the case at all. So Stiles took a breath. “Aren’t all of our lives made up of a combination of that? Expectations and hopes and desires and rational thought and irrational emotions? Her wanting me to play doesn’t mean it’s any less important if it had come from nowhere. It just makes it all the more meaningful that I am doing it, doesn’t it?”

“But what about your life?” Derek asked, and in that moment Stiles realized how much Derek’s trajectory had been guided by other people. 

“It’s not an either or,” Stiles said as carefully as possible. “For me.”

Derek nodded, his eyes on the piano. In the smallest voice Stiles had ever heard him use, he said, “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Stiles nearly laughed at that. But instead he nudged Derek’s shoulder. “No matter what you do, I’m pretty sure it would be impossible for you to disappoint anyone.” He searched for the right words, the ones that wouldn’t dismiss the fear, the ones that wouldn’t add more weight to Derek’s shoulders. “I would be proud of you no matter what you do.”

That blush again, the one that would drive Stiles to distraction. “Play it again for me?”

“Anytime,” Stiles promised and surprised himself by meaning it. 

Outside the clouds opened up and the rain beat against the windows. 

Inside, Derek hooked his ankle around Stiles’s, and the music played.

[tcm]

Reframing Films of the Past: An Interview with TCM Writers

All month long in March, TCM will be taking a look at a number of beloved classic films that have stood the test of time, but when viewed by contemporary standards, certain aspects of these films are troubling and problematic. During TCM’s Reframed: Classics in the Rearview Mirror programming, all five TCM hosts will appear on the network to discuss these issues, their historical and cultural context and how we can keep the legacy of great films alive for future generations.

Also joining in on this conversation are four TCM writers who were open enough to share their thoughts on their love of classic movies and watching troubling images of the past. Special thanks to Theresa Brown, Constance Cherise, Susan King and Kim Luperi for taking part in this conversation. Continue the conversation over on TCM’s Twitter.

What do you say to people who don’t like classics because they’re racist and sexist? 

KL: There are positive representations in classic Hollywood that I think would blow some peoples’ minds. I always love introducing people to new titles that challenge expectations. 

That said, anyone who broadly slaps a sexist or racist label on a large part of the medium’s history does a disservice to cinema and themselves. That mindset keeps them ignorant not only of some excellent movies and groundbreaking innovation but history itself. 

I think people need to remember that movies are a product of their time and they can reflect the society they were made into a variety of degrees - good, bad, politically, culturally, socially. That’s not to excuse racism or sexism; it needs to be recognized and called out as such for us to contend with it today. But it’s important for people who say they don’t like classics for those reasons to understand the historical context. In particular, we need to acknowledge that society has evolved - and what was deemed socially acceptable at times has, too, even if sexism and racism are always wrong - and we are applying a modern lens to these films that come with the benefit of decades worth of activism, growth and education.

SK: I totally agree K.L. For years I have been encouraging people to watch vintage movies who keep proclaiming they don’t like black-and-white films or silent films. For every Birth of a Nation (1915) there are beautiful dramas, wonderful comedies and delicious mysteries and film noirs. 

 These films that have racist and sexist elements shouldn’t be collectively swept under the rug, because as K.L. stated they shine a light on what society was like – both good and bad. 

CC: First off, fellow writers may I say, I think your work is amazing. I'm continually learning from the talent that is here, and I am humbled to be a part of this particular company. Similar to the prior answers, for every racist/sexist film the opposite exists. Personally, classic musicals attracted me due to their visual assault, creativity and their unmistakable triple-threat performances. While we cannot ignore racist stereotypes and sexism, there are films that simply are "fantasies of art." There is also a review of evolution. In 20 years, what we now deem as acceptable behavior/conversation will be thought of as outdated and will also require being put into "historical context."  What we collectively said/thought/did 20 years ago, we are currently either re-adjusting or reckoning with now, and that is a truth of life that will never change. We will always evolve.

TB: I would say to them they should consider the times the movie was made in. It was a whole different mindset back then. 

Are there movies that you love but are hesitant to recommend to others because of problematic elements in them? If so, which movies? 

TB: Yes, there are movies I’m hesitant to recommend. The big one, off the top of my head, would be Gone With the Wind (1939). The whole slavery thing is a bit of a sticky wicket for people, especially Black folks. Me, I love the movie. It is truly a monumental feat of filmmaking for 1939. I’m not saying I’m happy with the depiction of African Americans in that film. I recognize the issues. But when I look at a classic film, I suppose I find I have to compartmentalize things. I tend to gravitate on the humanity of a character I can relate to. 

KL: Synthetic Sin (1929), a long thought lost film, was found in the 2010s, and I saw it at Cinecon a few years ago. As a Colleen Moore fan, I thoroughly enjoyed most of it, but it contains a scene of her performing in blackface that doesn’t add anything to the plot. That decision brings the movie down in my memory, which is why I have trouble recommending it.

Also Smarty (1934), starring Warren William and Joan Blondell, is another movie I don’t recommend because it’s basically about spousal abuse played for comedy, and it did not age well for that reason.

SK: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961): Audrey Hepburn is my favorite actress and I love her Oscar-nominated performance as Holly. I adore Orangy as Cat, as well as George Peppard and Buddy Ebsen, who is wonderfully endearing. And of course, “Moon River” makes me cry whenever I hear it. But then I cringe and am practically nauseous every time Mickey Rooney pops up on screen with his disgusting stereotypical performance as Holly’s Japanese landlord Mr. Yunioshi. What was director Blake Edwards thinking casting him in this part? Perhaps because he’s such a caricature no Japanese actor wanted to play him, so he cast Rooney with whom he had worked within the 1950s. 

CC: I cannot necessarily state that I am in "love," but, a film that comes to mind would be Anna and the King of Siam (1946). It is an absolutely beautiful visual film. However, Rex Harrison as King Mongkut requires some explanation. 

Holiday Inn (1942), and the Abraham number...why??? Might I also add, there were many jaw-dropping, racist cartoons.

How did you learn to deal with the negative images of the past? 

KL: I often look at it as a learning experience. Negative images can provoke much-needed conversation (internally or with others) and for me, they often prompt my education in an area that I wasn’t well versed in. For instance, blackface is featured in some classic films, and its history is something I never knew much about. That said, seeing its use in movies prompted me to do some research, which led me first to TCM’s short documentary about blackface and Hollywood. I love how TCM strives to provide context and seeks to educate viewers on uncomfortable, contentious subjects so we can appreciate classic films while still acknowledging and understanding the history and the harmful stereotypes some perpetuated.

SK: It’s also been a learning experience for me. Though I started watching movies as a little girl in the late 1950s, thanks to TCM and Warner Archive I realized that a lot of films were taken out of circulation because of racist elements. TCM has not only screened a lot of these films but they have accompanied the movies with conversations exploring the stereotypes in the films.  

CC: As a Black woman, negative images of the past continue to be a lesson on how Blacks, as well as other minorities, were seen (and in some cases still are seen) through an accepted mainstream American lens. On one hand, it's true, during the depiction of these films the majority of Black Americans were truly relegated to servant roles, so it stands to reason that depictions of Black America would be within the same vein. What is triggering to me, are demeaning roles, and the constant exaggeration of the slow-minded stereotype, blackface. When you look at the glass ceiling that minority performers faced from those in power, the need for suppression and domination is transparent because art can be a powerful agent of change. I dealt with the negative images of the past by knowing and understanding that the depiction being given to me was someone else's narrative, of who they thought I was, not who I actually am.

TB: I’m not sure HOW I learned to deal with negative images. Again, I think it might go back to me compartmentalizing.

I don’t know if this is right or wrong…but I’ve always found myself identifying with the leads and their struggles. As a human being, I can certainly identify with losing a romantic partner, money troubles, losing a job…no matter the ethnicity.

In what ways have we evolved from the movies of the classic era?

KL: I think we are more socially and culturally conscious now when it comes to stories, diversity and representation on screen and behind the scenes, which is a step forward. That said, while there's been growth, there's still much work to be done.

SK: I think this year’s crop of awards contenders show how things have evolved with Da 5 Bloods, Soul, One Night in Miami, Minari, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, The United States Vs. Billie Holiday, Judas and the Black Messiah and MLK/FBI. 

But we still have a long way to go. I’d love to see more Native American representation in feature films; more Asian-American and Latino stories. 

CC: There are minority artists, writers, producers, directors, actors with the increasing capacity to create through their own authentic voice, thereby affecting the world, and a measurable amount of them are women! Generally speaking, filmmakers (usually male) have held the voice of the minority narrative as well as the female narrative. I agree with both writers above in the thought that it is progress, and I also agree, more stories of diversified races are needed. 

TB: One important way we've evolved from the movies made in the classic era by being more inclusive in casting. 

Are there any deal-breakers for you when watching a movie, regardless of the era, that make it hard to watch? 

KL: Physical violence in romantic relationships that's played as comedy is pretty much a dealbreaker for me. I mentioned above that I don't recommend Smarty (1934) to people, because when I finally watched it recently, it. was. tough. The way their abuse was painted as part of their relationship just didn’t sit well with me.

SK: Extreme racist elements and just as KL states physical violence. 

Regarding extreme racist elements, D.W. Griffith’s Birth of a Nation (1915) is just too horrific to watch. I was sickened when I saw it when I was in grad school at USC 44 years ago and it’s only gotten worse. And then there’s also Wonder Bar (1934), the pre-code Al Jolson movie that features the Busby Berkeley black minstrel number “Goin’ to Heaven on a Mule.” Disgusting.

I also agree with KL about physical violence in comedies and even dramas. I recently revisited Private Lives (1931) with Norma Shearer and Robert Montgomery based on Noel Coward’s hit play. I have fond memories of seeing Maggie Smith in person in the play when I was 20 in the play and less than fond memories of watching Joan Collins destroying Coward’s bon mots.  

But watching the movie again, you realized just how physically violent Amanda and Elyot’s relationship is-they are always talking about committing physical violence-”we were like two violent acids bubbling about in a nasty little matrimonial battle”; “certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs”-or constantly screaming and throwing things.  

There is nothing funny or romantic about this.

KL: I try to put Birth of a Nation out of my mind, but S.K. did remind me of it again, and movies featuring extreme racism at their core like that are also dealbreakers; I totally agree with her assessment. I understand the technological achievements, but I think in the long run, especially in how it helped revive the KKK, the social harm that film brought about outdoes its cinematic innovations.

CC: Like S.K., Wonder Bar immediately came to mind. Excessive acts of violence, such as in the film Natural Born Killers (1994). I walked out of the theatre while the film was still playing. I expected violence, but the gratuitousness was just too much for me. I also have an issue with physical abuse, towards women and children. This is not to say I would not feel the same way about a man. However, when males are involved, it tends to be a fight, an exchange of physical energy, generally speaking, when we see physical abuse it is perpetuated towards women and children.

TB: I have a couple of moments that pinch my heart when I watch a movie. It doesn’t mean I won’t watch the movie. It just means I roll my eyes…verrrrry hard.

-Blackface…that’s a little rough; especially when the time period OF the movie is the ‘30s or ‘40s film.

-Not giving the Black actors a real name to be called by in the film (Snowflake…Belvedere…Lightnin’). I mean, can’t they have a regular name like Debbie or Bob?

-When the actor can’t do the simplest of tasks, i.e. Butterfly McQueen answering the phone in Mildred Pierce (1945) and not knowing which end to speak into. What up with that?

Are there elements they got right that we still haven’t caught up to? 

KL: I don't know if the pre-Code era got sex right (and sensationalism was definitely something studios were going for) but in some ways, I feel that subject was treated as somewhat more accepted and natural back then. Of course, what was shown onscreen in the classic era was nowhere near the extent it is today, but the way the Production Code put a lid on sex (in addition to many other factors) once again made it into more of a taboo topic than it is or should be.

One thing I particularly hate in modern movies is gratuitous violence, and it perplexes and angers me how America weighs violence vs. sex in general through the modern ratings system: films are more likely to get a pass with violence, mostly landing in PG-13 territory and thus making them more socially acceptable, while sex, something natural, is shunned with strictly R ratings. Obviously, there are limits for both, but I think the general thinking there is backwards today.

CC: The elegance, the sophistication, the precision, the dialogue, the intelligence, the wit. The fashion! The layering of craftsmanship. We aren't fans of these films for fleeting reasons, we are fans because of their timeless qualities.

I'm going to sound like a sentimental sap here, ladies get ready. I think they got the institution of family right. Yes, I do lean towards MGM films, so I am coloring my opinion from that perspective. Even if a person hasn't experienced what would have been considered a "traditional family" there is something to be said about witnessing that example. Perhaps not so much of a father and a mother, but to witness a balanced, functioning, loving relationship. What it "looks like" when a father/mother/brother/sister etc. genuinely loves another family member.

I was part of the latch-key generation, and although my parents remained together, many of my friends' parents were divorced. Most won't admit it, but by the reaction to the documentary [Won't You Be My Neighbor?, 2018], the bulk of them went home, sat in front of the TV and watched Mr. Rogers tell them how special they were because their parents certainly were not. We don't know what can "be" unless we see it.