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novelistash · 4 years ago

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Lex Evans

Continuing my compulsive catalogue of fictional lives that I didn't come up with.

After the wedding, Ayla took Lex golfing and admitted that she had created distance with Lex ever since she'd made a move on her. They became besties again. At the age of 31, Lex sold her town home, so she could focus on renovations on her and Ariana's equestrian ranch home.

Throwing party after party, Lex realized she wasn't just hilariously addicted to Bahama Mamas, but simply addicted to alcohol. She went to AA, but got nothing from it.

While long boarding and drinking Mai Tais Ayla admitted to Lex that she'd been offered opium and seriously considered using it. Lex said she was glad Ayla didn't go down that path.

At the age of 34, Lex became a Sr. Environmental Scientist, but her real job was dumping hundreds of thousands of dollars into Arian and Lex's mansion.

The days all started to bleed together, and Lex drove all the way to work before realizing it was Saturday. Lex suspected that the drinking was getting in way of her memory. Remembering her luck with spiritualism in the past, Lex found a Witch Doctor to help her with her alcoholism. She ate a raw Komodo Dragon Egg. After purging most of her stomach, the thought of liquor made her sick.

Ayla's continued drinking pulled Lex and her apart, and Clive became Lex's new bestie.

While at the record store with Ayla, she talked about opium again, saying that her new bestie was smoking it around her. Lex told Ayla she was glad she wasn't using it, but Ayla got quiet instead. Lex was pretty sure she was going to try it.

At the age of 39, Lex accidentally scored on her own goal while playing soccer. Everyone laughed for ten minutes. She sold her old BMW and bought a used Suburu. Ariana renewed their vows and adopted Carter, 3 year old whose father couldn't afford to pay for his medical bills. Lex bonded with Carter by doing yoga with goats.

Carter called out "mama" and Lex and Ariana laughed when they realized they didn't know who he was asking for. While buying new clothes, Lex tried on a stranger's coat. She was caught and left the store in humiliation.

Carter had his first day of school and Lex's niece Kylie was old enough to get a job as a receptionist. Lex reflected on how awesome human beings actually are. After playing laser tag with Carter and Archie's family, Lex and Archie became best friends. Lex's friend Eleanor talked her into crashing a wedding. She didn't remember how it ended, only that she was back at home puking in the garden bathroom so Ariana wouldn't know she was drinking. Lex went to a hypnotist to overcome Alcoholism and it worked. Picking up a bottle of champagne only made her think of maple syrup.

At the age of 42, Lex's niece Hazel graduated secondary school. At the graduation party, someone told Lex to shake her money making, so she shook Ariana. Lex gave her nieces $10,000 each. (Kylie getting money for the graduation she'd been too drunk to attend!) While playing bingo with Ayla, she admitted that she'd been cheating on her boyfriend. Lex told Ayla that she'd always be there for her.

Hazel became a Jr. Flight attendant and moved out of the house. Lex housed a celebration at the mansion and she was offered ritalin. Lex turned them down. Lex wrote up a will that named Ariana and Carter as the sole inheritors.

At the age of 44, Lex was sexually harassed at work. Her coworker Michael pulled her shirt off in front of everyone. The supervisor fired Michael. The Evans family started going house shopping.

At the age of 46, Lex's mother got very sick. She took her mom to Dr. Cooper and he treated her diarrhea, caused from contaminated lettuce. The lettuce outbreak had originated in Indonesia. This got Lex thinking about social responsibility, and she decided to run for School Board Director. She ran against Angus White and lead a clean campaign. After knocking on 1000 doors, Lex lost the election. Ariana took the family to Thailand to help Lex get past the sting.

At the age of 47, Lex had another brush with death! While hiking off trail, she slipped into quicksand! Lex remembered her swim team days and swam out of the pit. She was in there for 8 minutes. Contemplating life, she read her step brother Kobe's journal. Kobe found her and Lex apologized. Lex decided that she needed to downsize her life. She needed to get out of that mansion.

At the age of 49, Lex's mother passed away of natural causes. Lex and Kobe both inherited $2,618,526. Lex finally found a buyer for the manision, and sold the property for 4.3 million. They moved into a midcentury home with 3 beds and 2 baths. Carter was starting secondary school, and Lex gave him $10,000 to spend how he wished.

At the age of 50, Lex celebrated her 20th anniversary with Ariana. They laughed about the prenup. Ariana encouraged Lex to keep running for office and Lex realized she could do anything she set her mind to. Lex caught the flu, but recovered after a trip to the doctor.

Lex's niece Kylie married her college boyfriend. Though neither were unemployed, Kobe had the funds to pay for the wedding. Lex's friend Eleanor convinced her to start drinking again. Lex spent a lot of time with wannabe sommeliers, and dealt with a very real relapse. Lex went to AA and found the strength to throw out thousands of dollars of premier wine. Lex and Elanor got into a fight about the perfect crotch shape, but they both knew it was about drinking.

At the age of 52, Lex lost her step father. He had a stroke in the closet and Lex found him dead. The thought of dying alone in a closet haunted her, making her uneasy about staying in windowless rooms. Ariana talked to Lex about the future at a local park, and Lex decided to run for School Board Director again. She ran a clean campaign against Sophia Johnson, but someone called Ariana a biznatch! Lex called the man a troll and won the election. Lex held energetic rallies about education and the environment.

At the age of 53, a provocative intern tried to hook up with Lex while they were working late. Lex turned him down, but she had been turned on. She talked to her wife about the pros and cons of becoming swingers. That following morning, she planted a cucumber garden.

Carter graduated secondary school and Kobe retired. teen pregnancies were becoming an issue in Lex's school district, so she mandated contraceptives be available. Lex held a rally to dispel the myths about contraceptive encouraging pregnancies.

A friend of Lex's wanted Lex to put her on the payroll without having her do any work. Lex offered her a job as a lead janitor instead and she stopped talking to Lex. Carter asked his mothers if he could study finance at a university, and they encouraged him to live his life how he wanted. Lex went to a bar with Ariana, and was able to stop after one drink.

Kobe's daughter, Hazel, married Jayden Roberts, a restaurant worker. While dancing at the celebration, Ariana fell to the floor. After taking Ariana to the hospital, she was diagnosed with cancer of the buttocks! Lex renewed her vows to Ariana. Lex read Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason," and found little reason for cancer to exist.

While at a masquerade ball, Lex flirted with a politician to grease the gears of government. Ariana was furious, but no amount of trying to explain the situation helped.

At the age of 58, Lex fell out of bed and hit her eye. She could see for 6 days. Lex's term as School Board Director ended. Ariana's cancer went into remission. Lex and Ariana went to Osaka, Japan to celebrate. Ariana forgave Lex for flirting and encouraged her to run for a second term. After another clean campaign against Hugo Miller, Lex won re-election!

Carter graduated uni and became a Jr. Stockbrocker. After a trip to the gym, Lex was diagnosed with a staph infection.

At the age of 60, Lex and Ariana celebrated their 30th anniversary. Ariana vowed to make more time for their marriage, by finally retiring. During the party Lex caught Kobe sneaking around in her room and the two got into an argument. Lex was the first to apologize even though she wasn't at fault.

Carter got promoted to Stockbroker. Lex was diagnosed with hemorrhoids and cherished naps above all other activities.

Kobe's daughter, Kylie came out as gay. Lex was offered a $3 million bribe and turned it down.

Lex finished her second term in office with a 100% approval rating. As School Board Director, Lex Evans was known for her energetic rallies. She tried to run a clean campaign for Mayor of Sydney. When she didn't deny the truth of her past with alcoholism, the public sided with 79 year old, Eli Epping. Lex went on a vacation to Machu Picchu with Ariana.

Lex spent $754,000 on an unsuccessful campaign, and then at the age of 65, retired.

Ariana and Lex moved to France to get away from the public eye. They bought an art deco home! They adopted a cat named Zorro from the animal shelter. Lex bought a used tesla.

At the age of 68, Lex lost her step brother Kobe after a stroke. He had refused to seak medical treatment, even though his hearing was going out.

Lex's life was dominated by renovating the art deco home. She missed her friends in Australia. Lex and Ariana argued about the nature of reality. Ariana thought it was a waste of time to talk about things like that.

Lex got into a car accident on the way home from her 40th anniversary, her butt got cut. She visited her friend Ruby in prison. Ariana started withholding sex. They both opened up about their fantasies on a trip to Venice, Italy, and things seemed to be back to normal.

Shortly after Lex's 71st birthday, her cat Zorro passed away. Lex and Ariana moved back to Australia, moving into an adorable cottage with 2 beds and 1 bath. Lex sold her tesla and art deco home in France, and bought another used Suburu. Though the move back to Australia helped Lex's mood, it had done nothing to help her relationship with Ariana. They were getting into fights about everything from video games to fishing laws.

Forty-two years into their marriage, Ariana asked for a divorce. Lex begged Ariana to stay. Even though she agreed, she refused to go to marriage counseling.

The next year, Lex and Ariana went sky diving and slowly things started to improve. It seemed like Ariana was simply bored with life, so Lex would try to be more spontaneous.

Lex and Ariana renewed their wedding vows after volunteering at a retirement home, something they both hoped they would never be in. Lex gave 0.74 carat diamond earrings to Ariana. She said the gift was an insult.

The day after Lex's 78th birthday, she witnessed a bank robbery! Within a year, her best friend and first crush, Ayla passed away. The doctor's said it was, "her time," but Lex felt strong and happy. Lex lost two more friends that year, and wondered if she was fooling herself and started to think about her bucket list.

Lex and Ariana's 50th anniversary was a solemn affair, as Ariana was suffering from bronchitis. Someone hacked into Lex's instagram account, so she deleted all her social media.

The 82 year old millionaire, Lex, wanted to run for office again. Ariana thought it was a waste of time and money. Lex ran despite Ariana's objections and lost. Ariana was back to withholding sex and it was like their life in France had been forgotten.

Lex sold their cottage for a modern home. The change in scenery helped Lex and Ariana move on from the drama of the past, but their marriage had become a sexless one. Lex brought up having a threesome or an open marriage to try and bring some excitement back into their life and Ariana was furious. She moved all of her stuff into a spare room.

58 years into their marriage, Ariana said Lex was too old to be attractive, despite being named Sydney's most attractive woman over fifty a year prior. Lex confronted Ariana about her being faithful, and Ariana admitted that she was seeing someone else. The two got a divorce. Lex Evans was now Alexandra Miller.

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yugyummygot7reactions · 5 years ago

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My G7 Fantasies (Sexual and Not Sexual)

MMkay so I don’t think these are really CRAZY. They are just the fantasies I have about them. But I can’t think of any super crazy ones. I put them below the line because fuck this post is long (Even if y’all don’t want to read it..the gifs are pretty good :)

NON SEXUAL

Mark: I don’t have any non-sexual fantasies about Mark… I know that’s weird, but I just don’t.

JB:

I have a fantasy that I’d meet him randomly and get to know him as a casual friend and he would write a song about me.

Jackson: I have a fantasy that Jackson would be a personal trainer at a gym I go to and would be my trainer and nutrition coach. I think he would be so much fun in the gym.

Jinyoung: I have a fantasy that I would meet him at a book signing for an author we both like. We would be sitting next to each other during a chapter reading and we would then be next to each other in line waiting to get our books signed. We would spend the day talking about the book and the author and would really connect. After we got our books signed though, we would part ways. It would just be one day of strangers bonding over a love of books.

Youngjae: I have this fantasy that Youngjae will be at a café in downtown San Francisco, and I’ll just happen to be in downtown and stop for a tea and our orders get called at the same time. He would accidentally bump into me and apologize in Korean and then realize I probably wouldn’t speak Korean and try to think of a way to apologize in English. Before he can I would answer him in near perfect Korean. He would introduce himself and would invite me to join him. We would end up having a secret long-distance affair and would live happily ever after.

Bam Bam: My non-sexual fantasy would be to go on a boojee shopping spree and for Bam to redo my wardrobe, makeup, and hair. So shallow, but I love his fashion sense.

Yugyeom: I have this fantasy that my bestie and I go to a dance class in Korea like 5ish years from now. It’s one of those classes that you learn a kpop dance and then get to record yourself doing it with a group of other people. It was a throwback class and the dance was Just Right(which is why we signed up) anyways, we get there, and Yugyeom is the dance teacher. He looks DAMN good. Like his military service really bulked him tf up(like a Jinyoung/JB body kind of bulk up). He recognizes bestie and I from the US concerts (We’ve been to A SHIT TON OF THEM and done Hi-Touches and photo ops). We get to hang with him after the dance class and hear from him stories about the Got7 glory days.

SEXUAL

Mark: I have this fantasy that I would meet Mark years from now, like long after G7 is no more, like he’s married or with someone long term. We meet at a swinger’s party and hit it off on a sexual level only. I end up having some solo bdsm fun with him before his partner joins us and it becomes a super kinky threesome with sensory deprivation and orgasm denial. It would end with Mark jacking off in the corner while his partner and I went at it.

JB: I have a fantasy that we would meet at a club one night, like he doesn’t want to be there but has to. We would both be tipsy af and would meet outside of the unisex bathroom. We would both just decided to go in at the same time. Like we didn’t know who was actually first so we both get mad and fight over who gets to go next. We both end up mad and alone in the bathroom together and JB just fucks me bare in this animalistic way. It would be a one off like we never even introduced ourselves kind of one-night stand.

Jackson: I have this odd fantasy with Jackson. Like, I don’t have this kink, even a little bit, but I think he could so it always comes up in sexual fantasies I have about it. It would be a consistent sex thing, like not dating, just like fwb thing, but he would be obsessive about not using condoms and trying to be risky with accidental pregnancy. Like he would be encouraging me to sometimes skip the pill and to always let him cum inside. He would also say things about being so excited to start a family and see me pregnant with his son or daughter. It is like the textbook description of sex with a breeding kink.

Jinyoung: I have a fantasy that Jinyoung and I would be at the same hotel and that both of us wanted to go swimming when there weren’t a lot of people around. We both had charmed different concierge/front desk workers to let us use the pool after it was technically closed. I would be there first and while relaxing in the pool, Jinyoung would enter, surprised that there was another person there. He would point out he thought the pool was closed and that no one else would be there. I apologize and offer to leave since I’d already been there for a while. He says it’s okay and proceeds to take off his shirt. We are both swimming and while under water accidentally swim into each other. We both surface and are far too close together. I apologize while we are millimeters apart and he says it’s okay before kissing me. We end up making out and moving over to the hot tub where we fuck in the open. We then get too hot and cool off with a round 2 in the pool. Only to find the workers who helped us get in to the pool in the first place were watching through the pool windows the whole time.

Youngjae: I have this fantasy that I would meet Youngjae in a dark bar and that we would go back to his place and he would tie me up and blindfold me and Dom me like there was no tomorrow. I want that boy to show me his hidden dark side. He would have a secret room of all of the toys you could imagine and would have a crazy plan to use a lot of them for orgasm denial and other fun. He would set a safe word and would actually be the kinkiest mf ever. It would be a long night of pleasure and pain.

Bam Bam: I have a fantasy that I would meet Bam Bam online on like a FetLife site or something. When we meet up he uses his beautiful lips and tongue for oral and then after a few rounds of traditional vanilla sex, he would pull out a harness with a unique dildo on it and would asked to be pegged. He would already be ready with a fidget spinner plug in (or something as equally cheesy and novelty as that.)

Yugyeom: Okay so we would be at JB’s place for some reason and I’ve known Yugyeom for a while but it’s just been a friendship, nothing more. We both get borderline drunk and start getting super touchy with each other. When JB is preoccupied with something going on in the main space, Yugyeom would pull me down the hallway into JB’s room. He would slam me against the door and kiss me. Telling me he wanted to do this for so long. We end up having fairly quick sex on JB’s bed. The only kinkiness was some light choking. He leaves bite bruises and hickeys EVERYWHERE. We get dressed and slip back out into the group only to realize too late that my underwear is still in JB’s room. We leave it there and hope he just never finds it.

#got7 #my fantasies #hideinsideout #yugyummygot7reactions

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heroin-antiheroine · 5 years ago

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had a weird n wonderful nye night last night. met up with 4 other smackheads n beautiful ppl & went wandering rly. we walked for miles in search of a free party after the one we were supposed to be goin to was shut down early. we didnt find anything where they normally are, but we picked up a random straggler who was kicked out of a local event for being too ketty. we walked more & accidentally headed out of town across the bridge & saw the city & it was so beautiful at night. then we walked back, ran into some dude who was clearly k-ed off his head. he said there was a party at a local swingers club & we wanted to go, so he tried to show us the way in exchange for some of my mate’s k. we walked thru a housing estate & found a random girl who was crying. she’d been beaten & strangled by her bf & had stabbed herself in the stomach. she was alright tho, it wasnt bad. she kept hugging me, it made me rly sad. we wanted to help her but she was just there to pick up crack so we all understood. we didnt find the swingers party but we went to a local pub where they had a night on. did some dancing even tho the music was shite. my 2 other friends called us about a squat party but by then it was fuckin late & me & my mate needed a hit so we had to go back. we did massive shots to see in the night & i almost ended up fucking him but idk i dont wanna fuck things up by doin that like i did with another friend recently. he’s a rly cool guy, a 50 yr old punk who’s hung out with jello biafra. n a fuckin lush person. a friend of mine posted a pic of the squat party on fb this morning & it looked fun so that kinda sucks but honestly i just had fun walking for miles in the cold with all the beautiful lights & taking in the city that i love so much. i’m so happy to be here & surrounded by such positive ppl....& it’s amazing & funny to me that these guys, who are all heroin addicts, are the most positive ppl ive met in my life. & it’s like a beacon of happiness & everything can be good. i hope all u guys had a fun night too, bless u all i love u <333

#junkie ramblings #legit my ramblings #but im rly happy i went out #& me & my friend spent all day watching rick & morty hahaha #lush day chilling today #i did coke last night hahah i never do coke #ended up gettin a bit prangy at my friend's house #decided only to do one bump & not any more bc of it #it didnt seem worth it #uppers kinda suck honestly

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mostfacinorous · 6 years ago

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So last night I went out with a friend and her husband for her birthday.

At the top of a hotel was a bar that her husband knew that he pitched to us as being the bar where they 80s never moved on from. Every wall used to be a mirror, he said, and he swore there was probably still coke on half of them.

While many of the mirrors had disappeared, it did not disappoint. We walked in and saw a large group mingling in semi-fancy clothes, and asked one of the folks at the bar what was up.

He said it was a music thing, so we went, oh ok, maybe they’re concert musicians.

We sit, we chat, all is well, and my fiends go up to get another round while I hold down the table.

Apparently a guy in a Punisher t-shirt at the bar asked them if they were there with the ‘cute ginger’, and what was up, and my friend said, “Oh I’m just here for some drinks with my husband and our friend.”

To which about four other people answered, “Oh, so are we,” and “would you like to join us?”

And that was how my friend’s birthday party accidentally got swallowed up by a swingers’ party in the bar the 90s forgot.

#every day an adventure #this has been a post

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madlitparanormal · 6 years ago

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You wouldn’t know just by looking at the above picture, that this man murdered thirty three people. If you hadn’t seen him before, you may just think that he was a normal member of society. In fact, he was a well known, well liked, successful citizen to most.

Childhood:

John Wayne Gacy Jr. was born on March 17, 1942 in Chicago, Illinois to father John Stanley Gacy, a mechanist and a WWI veteran (June 20, 1900-December 25, 1969 —Merry Christmas) and mother Marion Elaine Robinson, a stay at home mom (May 4, 1908-December 6, 1989).

Gacy Jr. had a good and stable relationship with his mother and his two sisters, one older and one younger, but his relationship with his father was strenuous. John Stanley Gacy was an alcoholic and mentally and physically abusive towards his wife and all three of his children.

One of Gacy Jr.’s earliest memories is of his father beating him with a leather belt. The reason? John had accidentally disassembled a group of car engine parts that his father had previously put together. A second memory he had was of his father hitting him over the head with a broom stick so hard that he was rendered unconscious. Gacy Sr. Consistently belittled him and often told him he’d never be anything, leaving John to feel that he was never good enough.

In 1949 John W. Gacy was caught fondling a young girl. His father whipped him with a razor strop as punishment. Shortly after this incident, at seven years old, John was sexually assaulted by a friend of the family. The man would often take Gacy Jr. for rides in his truck where he would violate the boy. He would never disclose this information to his father, afraid that he would blame him for the occurances.

Among other problems, John Wayne Gacy suffered a congenital heart defect and was not able to keep up with other children. He spent a year being hospitalized after fainting one afternoon. His father assumed that he was trying to gain attention and sympathy from others and saw his son as a complete failure.

John Wayne Gacy, also known as the infamous Killer clown, was a seemingly upstanding citizen of Waterloo, Iowa where he and his first wife had moved shortly after Gacy graduated and gained a degree in business. He was someone the town looked up to, someone who was charming and charitable. John dressed as a clown to attend fundraising events, parades, and was even hired to perform at children’s birthday parties. At one point in his life he was a a member of the Democratic Party and even a candidate running for and gaining the title of precinct captain. He was a highly liked member of a charity group called the Jaycees, the honored man of they year as well as Vice President of his charity group. Gacy held secretive meetings to induct new members of Jaycee. He would rent out hotel rooms, hire prostitues, and host orgies to convince people to join.

In 1966 he managed three KFC properties making the equivalent to today of $115,000 per year, plus a share of earned profits from the restaurants. His wife, Marlynn, maiden name Meyers, gave birth to two children, their son Michael in 1966 and their daughter Christine in 1967. One of his sisters told reporters that he was an amazing father and that he truly loved his children and she knew that because growing up in their household, love and affection was not a learned behavior. John once described this portion of his life as perfect. Even his father said he had been wrong about his son, that he did turn out to be something.

His marriage was secretly rampant with taboo fetishes. He and his wife engaged in swinger activity. They would often go out together and go home with someone else. These sexual acts were consensual among him, his wife, and their numerous partners.

Gacy and one of his sisters:

In 1967 John W. Was convicted of sodomy with a 15 year old boy named Donald Voorhees. Donald was the son of a fellow member of the Jaycee group that John had been socially accepted in. Gacy paid the boy fifty dollars to keep quiet but his silence didn’t last long. Gacy was charged and convicted of only sodomy after claiming the interaction was consensual even though he was twenty five years old. He was hit with a maximum sentence of ten years. Shortly after his sentencing his wife Marlynn divorced him.

In prison he took to working in the kitchen. Surprisingly, one thing he really was accomplished in was cooking. His knowledge of kitchen work could have come from not only helping his mother but working at KFC.

Due to his fathers death in 1969, Gacy changed. He began acting out while serving time yet out of the ten year sentence, John only served a year and six months. He was released for good behavior. He felt that his fathers death was his fault, that his father had died of shame.

When he was released he immediately moved to Chicago to start over. There he met another woman named Carole Hoff. Carole was recently divorced with two young girls. John had opened up to her about his jail time and his sexuality and while hesitant, she decided she could move past it. In 1972 the couple married, Carole’s two girls called Gacy “daddy” and loved him. However, in 1976 Hoff divorced Gacy after learning of one of his victims, John Butkovich.

On December 21st of 1978 John Wayne Gacy went into a pharmacy to discuss a possible renovation project on his home. He found a teenager, Robert Piest, and asked him about a summer job doing some construction work. The teenager told his mother and went to Gacy’s house to further discuss the job he had in store. When the boy didn’t return home his mother filed a missing persons report. Because he was seen at the store at the time of the boys disappearance, the police went to Gacy to find Robert. What they uncovered when they conducted their search led to Gacy’s arrest.

At the age of thirty six, Gacy confessed that between the years of 1972 and 1978, between the ages of thirty and thirty six, he abducted, sexually assaulted, tortured, and murdered at least thirty three young men and buried most of their bodies in a shallow grave in the crawl space beneath his house where he lived with his wife and two children (for the first four years of his killing spree until Carole divorced him). His most common method for killing the young men was a tourniquet, used for suffocation and asphyxiation. A few of his victims were stabbed to death. His first murder of Timothy McCoy in 1972 was unexpected and unplanned. After engaging in sexual acts with the boy, Gacy grabbed a knife and stabbed Timothy in the chest. From then on, Gacy continued his killing spree. He had opened up a door of emotional, physical, and mental release that he had never felt before.

After killing them, Gacy would embalm his victims which he learned how to do while working temporarily in a mortuary in Las Vegas, Nevada when he ran away from home to escape his father earlier in life. He would then systematically cover the shallow graves in quicklime to accelerate the decomposition process. Of those victims that weren’t buried in the crawl space, five were dumped in the Des Plaines River. One body was also discovered in his garage.

He was arrested and began his trial 1980. The prosecution question his sanity and Gacy played along, telling them that the murders were committed by an alternate personality.

At thirty six years old, he was sentenced to twelve death sentences as well as twenty one natural life sentences. This meant that John Wayne Gacy was sentenced to death twelve times even though you can generally only die once (of course other circumstances can come into play) and with a general life expectancy of seventy years old in the year 1980 for men, Gacy would serve no less than at least 1,470 years in prison outside of the death sentence. Naturally, no one could live to that age so the basic mentality was that he would never be released from prison and he would be executed by the state.

Gacy spent fourteen years on death row until he was executed by the state of Illinois. During his time in prison he did a lot of painting and created a lot of visual art pieces, and some were even sold at an auction.

Identified Victims:

Timothy McCoy

John Butkovitch

Darrell Sampson

Randall Reffett

Samuel Stapleton

Michael Bonnin

William Carroll

James Haakenson

Rick Johnston

Kenneth Parker

Michael Marino

William Bundy

Gregory Godzik

John Szyc

Jon Prestidge

Matthew Bowman

Robert Gilroy

Russell Nelson

Robert Winch

Tommy Boling

Jon Mowery

William Kindered

David Talsma

Timothy O’Rourke

Frank Landingin

James Mazzara

Robert Piest

Unidentified Victims:

Male aged 14-18

Male aged 23-30

Male aged 18-22

Male aged 15-24

Male aged 22-32

Male aged 17-22

Execution: Stateville Correction Center, Crest Hill, Illinois

On May 9, 1994 Gacy was allowed a private picnic with his family. I have not yet found which family members he spent time with but my assumption would be his sister(s) after two cases of divorce.

For his last meal he ordered a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken, fried shrimp, French fries, strawberries, and Diet Coke.

That evening he visited with a Catholic priest, one of the few people allowed to visit on your execution day, before being escorted to the Stateville execution chamber.

His form of execution was Lethal Injection. A clog in the IV delayed the execution for a short period of time but was quickly put back on track.

John Wayne Gacy’s final statement to his lawyer before his execution stated that killing him would not compensate for the murders he committed and that the state was in turn, murdering him. He even attempted to recant his confession before his death.

John Wayne Gacy was a diagnosed psychopath. He had no remorse, no empathy, and no regards for human life. He even went as far as saying he never committed any murders and he blamed others for his “unfortunate” circumstances.

It took Gacy Jr. 18 minutes to die after lethal Injection. He was prounounced dead at 12:58 AM on May 10, 1994. He was fifty two years old.

His final words: “Kiss My Ass!”

#lethal #lethal injection #creepy #horror #death #murder #serial killer #john wayne gacy #killer #killer clown #infamous

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smkkbert · 7 years ago

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Time for a story - Oliver’s but

Once she had directed the car into the garage and turned off the engine, Felicity shot a look at her watch. Ten-thirty.

“Damn it!”

She had left work at five already, so there would be enough time to play with the kids before they would have dinner together and she would put them in bed. Thanks to some complete closure of the arterial road into and out of downtown, she had been stuck in traffic for more than five hours. Now the kids would already be in bed. She hadn’t seen them all day since she had been forced to leave early this morning for some stupid video conference. She hated days that she didn’t see the kids or rather the kids didn’t see her since she’d definitely go to their rooms and kiss them goodnight now.

With a low groan, Felicity grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and hurried to the front door. She hadn’t even put a foot over the doorstep when Oliver already came from the kitchen, only dressed in sweatpants that were hanging low on his hips. Felicity’s mouth watered at the sight of him. Well, or maybe it was because of the fantastic smell of food coming from the kitchen. She wasn’t sure.

“Hey,” Oliver whispered, a sympathetic smile on his lips. “I am so sorry.”

Felicity chuckled exhaustedly, stepping out of her shoes and dropping her purse to the floor. She approached him, put her arms around his waist and straightened up onto the tip of her toes to capture his lips in a gentle kiss. Oliver’s hands cupped her cheeks in the meantime, stroking his thumbs over her cheeks as he responded to the kiss with all the love he had to give.

When their lips parted, Felicity rested her head back and smiled at him adoringly, saying, “It wasn’t your fault there has been a complete closure, right?”

Oliver chuckled. “No, it wasn’t.”

“I thought so,” Felicity replied, patting his chest, “unless you had discovered a love for destroying old water pipes and flooding the entire city. How do things like that even happen?”

“The mayor is overcharged,” Oliver replied, shrugging his shoulders. “Starling City has more problems than he can handle all at once and he might have put too much focus on trying to make homes affordable and forgot to keep an eye on other things. Speaking of homes, I think we accidentally scared our new neighbors away.”

“The Queenstons moved out?” Felicity asked, her eyes widening.

Oliver puckered his lips and nodded. “Yep. I think getting caught in the act and inviting their neighbors to a swinger party though they are not in an open marriage was just too much. I saw the moving van this afternoon and went over to talk to them. Marc said they decided it was better to start somewhere new.”

“But we have told them it wasn’t that bad,” Felicity said. “I mean it wasn’t that bad, was it? Things like that happen and we would have gotten over it. I am already over it.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I think it was too much embarrassment for a first month in a home where you are supposed to spend the rest of your life.”

Felicity sighed, nodding her head. Oliver was probably right. She doubted she had felt comfortable living here if people knew details about her marriage.

“They said repairing the damage at the street will take weeks,” she said eventually. “Traffic is going to be horror until they took care of that.”

Oliver nodded and rubbed his hands up and down her back. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” Felicity replied.

“I am already heating up the pasta.”

“Best husband ever,” Felicity told him. She pecked his lips shortly. “I’ll change into some more comfortable clothes and kiss our kids goodnight.”

Oliver pecked her lips once more and Felicity straightened back up onto her tiptoes to deepen the kiss for a moment. She stroked her tongue into his and scraped her teeth over his bottom lip before she broke the kiss. Oliver nuzzled her nose and brushed his lips against hers one last time. Only then Felicity stepped out of his embrace and headed upstairs.

She tiptoed into Emmy’s room, smiling at the way her oldest daughter was lying in bed upside down, her arms spread apart like she was hugging the mattress. Felicity stroked a few strands of her daughter’s hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. Emmy only released a tired sigh and moved her head forward, causing the blonde curls to fall back into her face.

Felicity went into Tommy’s room next. He was snuggled under his blanket despite the heat in the room. He held Emmy’s pink giraffe that she borrowed him often in his arm. Felicity sat down on the edge of his bed and stroked her fingers through his short dark hair fore a moment. When she kissed his temple, he stirred.

“Mommy?” he whispered, still asleep.

“Yes, mommy’s home,” she whispered and kissed his temple once more, “Sleep tight, Buddy.”

Tommy just released another deep sigh, snuggling closer to the giraffe in his arms. Felicity watched him for another moment before she opened the window to let in some cool night air and left his room.

Felicity stepped into Millie’s nursery and couldn’t keep herself from chuckling when, immediately, Millie got up on her feet and smiled, calling out, “Mama!”

“Have you been awake the entire time, Baby?” Felicity asked her, lifting her out of her crib and kissing her cheek. “And you didn’t tell daddy to come upstairs?”

Millie smiled, snuggling her face to Felicity’s shoulder. She stroked her fingers through her daughter’s dark hair and sat down in the rocking chair, Millie on her lap. The little girl was almost seventeen months old which was crazy because times had just flown by these last two years it seemed. She kissed Millie’s lips and cradled her in her arms like she wanted to sing her to sleep. Millie giggled.

“Did you have a great day?”

“Yes,” Millie replied.

“That’s great.”

Felicity smiled. Millie had always been the easiest of the children, the one who was always content and never demanded much. Felicity had always joked that Millie was her reward for putting up with Emmy and Tommy, who had been the complete opposite of their younger sister. Millie had been exactly what Felicity and Oliver had needed with the surprise of Addie, though.

She had often wondered if Millie had gone short because of that. She hadn’t had the bonus of being the baby and nestling for long since Felicity had been pregnant again so soon after her birth. Then she had never demanded the attention her older siblings had gotten at her age since she had always been the uncomplicated one.

“Mama. Sleep,” Millie said after a while. She sighed and snuggled more into Felicity’s embrace before she repeated it once more. “Mama. Sleep.”

“You want to sleep, Baby?” Felicity asked.

“Millie sleep,” Millie agreed.

“Okay, I am putting you back in your crib, okay?” Felicity suggested and already got up from the rocking chair. She kissed Millie’s temple and the little girl had fallen asleep before she had put her back into the crib. Felicity smiled at her, stroking her fingers over her stomach soothingly. “Sleep tight, Baby.”

From Millie’s nursery, Felicity went over to Addie’s. Unlike her older sister, the five-month-old was fast asleep. Felicity put her hand to her baby’s chest and felt her fast heartbeat under her hand. With how well Addie had caught up on other baby’s her age, sometimes it was hard to believe how much she had struggled when she had just been born. In quiet moment like this, when it was just Addie and her, Felicity remembered the fear of losing her daughter quite vividly, though.

“Sweet dreams, Sweetie-Pie,” Felicity whispered and kissed Addie’s temple before leaving her baby.

She went over to her bedroom, sighing at the sight of the wide, comfortable bed. It was tempting to just let herself fall into it and sleep. She knew she’d be awake in an hour or two and be even hungrier, though. That was why she pushed away her tiredness and went over to the bathroom. She dropped her clothes to the floor carelessly, washed her face and changed into something comfier.

Downstairs in the living room, Oliver was already waiting for her with a plate of wonderful Pasta Spinaci and glass of homemade ice tea. Sitting down between his spread legs on the couch and snuggling her back to his chest, she let him hand her the food and started eating.

“You are spoiling me, you know that?” Felicity asked, pushing another fork with the wonderful pasta into her mouth.

Oliver smiled. “I can’t help myself. I love spoiling you.”

“Well, I love being spoilt, so we are the perfect match.”

“I hope you found that out before today already.”

Felicity chuckled. “Since you have always spoilt me, you can bet your ass I knew before.”

“I am sure my ass is already yours and I can’t bet it anymore.”

Again, Felicity chuckled. “That’s actually true.”

They chatted some more while Felicity was eating dinner. Evenings like this, when they would just enjoy some proper time as a couple and chat lightly about nothing too serious, was something she really loved. Their life was serious enough. It never hurt letting go of all the pain and damage in the world and just pretend there was only the two of them.

Felicity had just eaten the last of her dinner when Oliver dipped his head forward and whispered into her ear, “We are getting a visitor.”

Only a moment later, Tommy came running in. “Mommy!”

“Hi, Buddy,” Felicity said, wrapping his arms around him as he climbed on her lap. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I’m not tired,” he simply replied. “Can we play a game?”

Oliver chuckled, tapping the tip of Tommy’s nose with his fingertip. “Mommy can play the Tommy-goes-back-to-bed-game with you.”

Tommy laughed. “Daddy, no!”

“Tommy, yes,” Oliver and Felicity both replied.

For a moment, Felicity rested her head against Oliver’s shoulder. He kissed her forehead in response. They watched Tommy as he snuggled back closer to Felicity. He pulled the pink giraffe closer to his chest and sighed. His eyes were fluttering shut soon, his breathing evening out.

“I will get him back to bed,” Felicity suggested with a sigh.

Oliver nodded. He kissed her temple, stroked his hand over Tommy’s hair and kissed the crown of his head. Leaning his cheek against his son’s head he whispered, “Sleep tight, Buddy.”

Adjusting Tommy’s position on her arms, Felicity got up from the couch and carried Tommy upstairs. She lay him down in bed and tugged him under the blanket, knowing he liked it safe and warm even in the middle of summer. She kissed his forehead once more and was about to get up when he clenched his hand to a fist in the fabric of her shirt. Smiling, Felicity lay down in bed with him for a moment.

She was tempted to just fall asleep here now. She had had dinner, so she wouldn’t wake up from hunger in a few hours. It was probably better to sleep in her own bed though since Tommy’s bed wasn’t really wide enough for an adult and a kid to sleep in together for long. That was why Felicity kept her head propped up onto her hand, stroking her fingers over his hair and back, until his hand slowly loosened around her shirt. She didn’t know how much time had passed since she had taken him upstairs and it didn’t really matter. She just kissed Tommy’s temple once more and crawled out of bed.

As she closed the door behind her with a sigh, Felicity smiled quietly. Sometimes, she had no idea how she and Oliver handled all their duties. Five kids, a company with thousands of employees and the responsibility for the safety of this city were a lot. Yet, somehow, they always managed to balance theses things. There were times it was harder and times it was easier. Felicity was almost a hundred percent sure that the support of their family and friends and even more so the love and support they offered each other was the main reason for that. Sometimes it really felt like together they could achieve everything they wanted.

Smiling at that thought, Felicity went back downstairs. When she stepped into the living room and saw the brooding expression on Oliver’s face, she frowned. It had been a while since she had seen that expression on him the last time, she figured. She went over to him slowly and loosely put her arms around his throat from behind. Her lips found his temple while Oliver was lifting his fingers to gently stroked over her tender skin.

“Wouldn’t Tommy fall back asleep?” Oliver asked.

“He didn’t want to let go,” Felicity replied, “so I stayed with him for a little bit.”

Oliver just hummed in response, leaning his head back. He captured her lips in a short kiss. When they broke the kiss, Felicity moved her fingertips over the frown on his forehead, smoothing the wrinkles out until Oliver chuckled.

“What are you doing?”

“I make you stop brooding,” Felicity told him. She kissed his cheek and climbed over the backrest of the couch into Oliver’s lap. “Did I leave you alone for too long that you had time to start brooding?”

“Yes,” Oliver replied, pulling her closer. “How dare you?”

Felicity chuckled and kissed him gently. Her fingers moved into his hair, angling his head back to deepen the kiss. Oliver’s fingers stayed on her hips, holding her close. Though he was responding to the kiss, Felicity could feel that he wasn’t completely in it. He seemed absentminded, responding to the kiss without initiating more or even anything different. Brushing her lips against his one last time, she pulled back.

Her fingers stayed on his face, stroking over the stubble on his cheeks the way she knew he liked so much. She scrutinized him, trying to find out what was going on by just looking at him. Their connection was so strong that sometimes she could read in his eyes what as bothering him. Oliver had never been one to talk much. He had become a lot more open to talking, telling her when something bothered him even if he didn’t always know how to tell her what he was feeling. Somewhere along the way, Felicity had learned reading his body posture and facial expressions instead.

When that didn’t seem to work today, she whispered, “Talk to me.”

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

Felicity was taken aback by the question. Yet, she smiled. “Of course, I do. If it’s just half as much as I love you, then it’s still a lot.”

“I love you so much,” Oliver continued. He kissed the soft spot under her ear, sucking at it gently before letting go. “Being with you, having this family with you, it all gives me a real sense of peace. I have never been more content in my entire life. Before the island, I was restless, chasing pleasures and fun. On the island and in Hongkong and Russia I was fighting for my life. Coming back, I was restless to follow my father’s request. Then you stepped into my life and so many things changed. Then the kids came and even more things changed, everything for the better of course. I am content now. I can sleep. I don’t need to chase after criminals or anything even more because I already have all I need. For the rest of my life, I could do nothing more, but be here for you and our kids – cook for you, spend time with you and support you in everything you are doing.”

“That sounds like a but,” Felicity replied. She grinned, cocking her head. “But the Queenstons’ idea of an open marriage and swinging is just so tempting that you can’t resist and you need to have that too now.”

Oliver chuckled. “Yeah, no. We both know I have a very particular type. I doubt I would find someone who meets my criterions, so…”

“Really?” Felicity asked. “Tell me more.”

“Hm… She should be small with a beautiful body. She should have full lips and blue eyes. She should wear glasses. Her dyed blonde hair should be often tied into a high ponytail and turn to cute little curls when she doesn’t straighten it after a shower,” Oliver explained with a smile. “She should be into IT. She should have graduated from MIT in 2009 when she was only nineteen and she should lead her own company now. That’s very important to me. She should be smart, good-hearted, funny and just wonderful in everything she does. She should have an undying love for unhealthy food and a slight reluctance regarding any sports that doesn’t include two sweating bodies moving together on a mattress or against a wall or wherever else she feels like it. It would also be cool if she did a cringy thing with her eyebrow when she is thinking too much and bite down on her bottom lip when she is excited or turned on. When she feels embarrassed, which happens often because sometimes she babbles and doesn’t realize what she is saying until she said it, she blushes. The blush spreads from her cheeks over her neck to her chest and it’s one of the most beautiful things to watch. Oh, and, of course should be the mother of at least four of my children. A woman who even fails one of these criterions won’t even be looked at.”

Felicity smiled and cocked her head. “The mother of at least four of your children? Do you already have tabs on someone who wants to give you more than four children?”

Oliver chuckled. “I am just keeping my mind open in case life hands us some more surprises. I don’t want to be deadlocked on one specific type. Just in case… you know…”

“Hon, if you knock me up again which really shouldn’t happen since Little Oliver is supposed to only shoot with rubber bullets from now on, you won’t need any type anymore because I will hurt you so much that you will be scared of women and run around in the city killing people because of it.”

“Sounds like me ten years ago.”

Felicity took in a breath, already about to correct her words when Oliver gently pushed her off his lap. With a sigh, he got up and started pacing up and down in the living room. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, watching him for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “That was not what I meant and-“

“I know that,” Oliver told her. He stopped pacing, putting his hands to his hips and looked at her for a moment. With a sigh, he approached the couch, sat down on the backrest and took Felicity’s hands into his. He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them, first the right and then the left. “I know that.”

Felicity nodded slowly, but narrowed her eyes at him a little. “Does this have anything to do with the brooding expression on your face when I came back downstairs?”

Oliver nodded. “It does.”

“So, tell me,” Felicity prompted him gently, stroking her thumb over the knuckles of his hand. “What’s you but?”

“I watched the local news show while you have been upstairs with Tommy.”

Felicity nodded slowly, perking up her eyebrows. “And?”

“Rogers lays down his office.”

Felicity frowned. “Why? He always seemed to get along as the mayor. I mean he survived three years in the position which is a lot for Starling City standards. The water pipe wasn’t his fault. Things like that happen and-“

“He was told it would happen and told to remediate pipes and canals in the city, but the city is struggling in so many ways that Rogers preferred other projects.”

“So, it is his fault?” Felicity asked.

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “It’s probably arguable. Fact is he was told what could have happened and he did nothing to prevent it. According to his publicist, maybe Starling’s condition isn’t as good as Rogers made it out to be.”

“Which means?”

“Serious deficit in the field of urban planning,” Oliver started. “Problems with educational establishments, childcare offers and playgrounds. Pollution of the bay that is barely to get under control. There have been mischiefs in all areas of local politics and, apparently, that lawless madmen with partly archaic weapons and dressed in leather dedicated themselves to take care of the criminals in the city is not seen as positively by everyone as Rogers tried to make it believe.”

The last words were said with so much bitterness that Felicity could feel Oliver’s anger and pain in her chest. She knew he was giving so much of himself for their mission to help this city. He didn’t need anyone to thank him, but being hated for what he did still burdened him sometimes, especially because he knew how hard it was on Emmy and Tommy. They knew who their dad was and hearing other kids repeating their parents’ words about the Arrow and his companions being criminals was hard for them to swallow. Emmy could be quite feisty when she felt she had to protect her daddy.

“This is the city where my entire family is living,” Oliver continued. “My parents have been living here. My sister and I have been born here. Our kids have been born here, and so will Thea’s kids. We are all living here. I want the city my family lives in to be a good and safe place, though.”

“Of course you do.” Felicity nodded and bit down on her bottom lip, cocking her head slightly. “Do you want to move away from here?”

“No,” Oliver replied quickly, shaking his head.

“We could do so if you needed it,” Felicity told him honestly. “It would be hard to move away from here, from our home and our friends. It would take a lot of planning to make it work, especially with the kids and QI. If you need that to be happier or to come to rest, we will certainly find a way, though.”

“You’d really move away from here?” Oliver asked.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, shooting him a smile. “I’d go anywhere with you. I mean I would prefer moving to Bali if we had to move away, but, yeah, I’d go with you to other places too.”

Oliver stroked the knuckles of his hands against her cheek gently, touching her bottom lip with his thumb. He was looking at her intently. “Do you really think we could do that? Leave everything behind and start somewhere new?”

“It would be hard,” Felicity whispered, nodding to herself. “Starling has been my home for so long now, my first and only real home actually. I love it here for so many more reasons than I can tell. I think it’s important we are feeling really at home in our home. When Starling doesn’t give you this feeling anymore, then maybe we have to try find it somewhere. I think together we can do everything, so I guess finding a new home in a different is definitely in our possibilities.”

“It would be hard,” Oliver repeated her words.

“Incredibly hard.” Felicity nodded. “Unless it’s Bali because moving to Bali would be so easy.”

Oliver chuckled. “I am going to remember that in case I ever think we should move away from here. Maybe when we are a hundred years old and want to enjoy the last of our days, that would be the right place for us.”

“But not yet?”

“Not yet,” Oliver replied. He leaned down and kissed her lips. “I love this city and I know how much you love this city. “We can’t give up on it just yet, can we?”

“No, we can’t,” Felicity replied and squeezed his hands. “So, what do you suggest?”

Oliver hesitated for a moment. He lowered his gaze to their linked fingers for a moment. Felicity didn’t speak. She waited patiently for him to speak, giving him the time he needed to say what he wanted to say.

“Did you mean what you said before?” Oliver asked, eventually lifting his gaze again and locking eyes with her. “That together we can do everything?”

Felicity smiled. “With all of my heart.”

Oliver smiled at her for a long moment. He took in her face, looking for any doubt. Felicity held his gaze, making him know that she didn’t have any doubts because she didn’t have any. She had meant what she had said. She trusted her gut as much as she trusted their marriage.

“Felicity?”

She perked up her eyebrows and smiled, making him know that she was listening. Her thumbs stroked over the knuckles of his hands, assuring him that he had his full support no matter what he would say. Oliver lifted his gaze, looking at her without speaking for a long moment.

“I’m going to run for mayor.”

Teaser for the next chapter (an easy one really), taken from the Spoiler post: Oliver and Felicity discuss Oliver’s idea of XXXXXXX XXX XXXXX.

Author’s note:

Hi, my Lovelies!

Since this was the 250th chapter, I wanted to take the time and thank all of you for still sticking with this story. I couldn’t be more amazed by the response this fic still receives. 250 chapters and some of you still want more. I can’t even put into words how I feel about that. It makes me so happy.

The past months have been hard on me with the thesis and the oral exam and some other things. I am very grateful you all understood that I couldn’t write that much during that time and never urged. The fact you still participated in the surverys I did to maintain the little excitement I had about writing made me very, very happy.

I will have to go back to university by tomorrow, so four chapters a week will probably be an exception, but I hope I will get to post at least two each week. Three chapters for the next week are already safe. ;)

I figured I should say a few words about the upcoming chapters. With Oliver’s idea, the focus will shift a little. That doesn’t mean that this story will be political. It just means that we will see Oliver taking this way and explore how he and his family are getting along with it. It also allows to introduct the angst storyline that will come. That being said, there will be some themes that will be addressed a couple of times - Oliver’s candidacy, Thea’s pregnancy, XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX - but I think the one-shot-like character will still be maintained I think.

There were a couple of reasons to introduce this storyline: a) more gifs available b) addition of a role-reveral with Felicity supporting Oliver’s carreer c) new storylines & adventures.

We will see how it goes I guess. Let’s see where the next 50 chapters take us. If we get through them, I actually have another angst storyline in mind that would toally shake up dynamics and everything. It would be so much fun (at least for me)! Anyway, let’s focus on the next fifty chapters first.

If you have prompts, ideas, headcanons, always feel free to share them with me. I will do my best to make them happen. A lot of the ideas you submitted in the surverys have already been added to the story.

Once again, thank you for all of your support. I hope I will be able to excite you for the next fifty chapters too. :)

xoxo Kathi

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cruunk · 7 years ago

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my mom recently told me this crazy ass story about how she and her cousin accidentally went to a swingers party on a bus. they were both 27 and newly married and not comfortable participating. so they sat at the back of the bus and smoked a whole quarter bag of weed, just watching everyone fuck for 5 hours on this bus just driving around missouri. then when the bus dropped them off they got shitfaced at a dive bar and made my dad pick them up. i don’t know why but i’ve just been thinking about that a lot lmao the 80s were a time to be alive

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greenergrassinsafermeadows · 7 years ago

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Chapter 14

“We need to talk.” Craig heard Sketch sigh on the other end of the phone, “What’s this about Craig?” “Clara said she wants me to move in with her.” “Congratulations? I thought you already had.” “Yeah. Me too, but she also said since I live here now she needs me to help with rent.” “So…?” “So I need money.” “So get a job!” “I don’t have time for that!” Craig huffed, “I’m a busy guy.” Sketch went silent for a moment, thinking very deeply about how ridiculous that statement was. “Craig… You- you don’t do anything. You sit around playing video games and losing.” “That’s not true!” Craig sounded scandalized, “I also fuck your best friend! And let me tell you buddy she’s-” “Goodbye Craig!” There was a ‘click’, and Craig was left with a dial tone.

Not to be deterred, Craig moved on to Plan B: The Direct Approach. Which entailed Catching the bus into Sketch’s town and showing up in his office. Turning all the lights off and facing his chair away from the door for effect. He accidentally scared the shit out of a cleaning lady at first, but it was worth it when Sketch returned from a meeting, and Craig was granted the opportunity to spin around with an ominous “Hello Payton.” and startle him into dropping the monstrous stack of papers he was carrying all over the floor. “Craig.” Sketch glared up at him from where he was picking up the scattered documents, “Do you EVER ask yourself if half of the things you do are really fucking necessary?” “I thought I didn’t do things in the first place?” Sketch let out a frustrated groan, grabbing the last of the papers of the floor before setting the stack down on his desk. “I’m not giving you money Craig. Showing up in my office and trying to give me a heart attack has, surprisingly enough, not changed that. If you want cash you’re going to have to work for it like everybody else.” Craig whined, spinning the chair around a few more times, “But that’s BORING! We can’t all sit around doing paperwork 24/7, that’s your shtick.” “What did you do when you ran your factory then Craig?” “Well, unlike you I didn’t have a stick up my ass about ‘conservation’ and ‘protecting the environment.’” He said, using air quotes as if they’d prove his point. "Not to mention my factory practically ran itself, all I had to do was sit back and profit.” Sketch rolled his eyes, “Great, ok, you were lazy and had an unsustainable operation, good job. The point hasn’t changed, you need to get a job.” Craig frowned, thinking a moment before his expression changed to a near sinister smirk. “You know, if Clara kicks me out I could always just move back into the mansion. Is that what this is about? Do you miss me? I’m flattered.” Sketch looked thoroughly disgusted. “....Fine. Listen. I’m not just going to give you money-” “You gave Clara money all the time!” “She needed help when I did. At least she was trying. Y’know, like you should be. Now let me finish. I’m not just going to give you money, but if you’re really that desperate I’ll think of something I can hire you to do. As a job. ” “Fuck no!” Craig glared at him, disgusted. “Even if I did want to get a job I wouldn’t work for you if my life depended on it! There’s gotta be something else.” Sketch sighed, spouting off the first thing that came to mind; “Dance the macarena in the middle of the road while dressed in a hotdog suit?” “.......With, or without accompanying music?” Sketch stood in shocked silence for a moment before resigning to acceptance. “Of course, that you’ll do.” Craig shrugged, “I can’t provide my own hotdog suit.” “I can get you one. But ok, I guess we’re doing this?” “I mean yeah- wait… Why do you have a hotdog suit so readily available? Are you a part of some bizarre fetish subculture I’ve never heard of? Because I’m not wearing it if it’s been to any swingers parties.” “What? No- what the fuck is a-” Sketch shook his head, “You know what I actually don’t want to know. We were shipped the wrong order by a promotional event company, and no one’s bothered to get rid of it yet.”

Clara was just getting home from work when her phone went off.

Payton(#1): [txt] Download Video Attachment? [y]/n

She opened the video. It was Craig. In a hotdog suit. Performing the macarena in the middle of a crowded street.

Clara: [txt] What… Is he doing? Payton(#1): [txt] The macarena obviously. Clara: [txt] Ok yes I can see that I was alive and well in the 90s. Why is this happening? I can understand everything but the hotdog honestly. Payton(#1): [txt] He didn’t want to do any actual work.

“CLARA I’M HOME!!” She’d been about to ask what doing actual work had to do with any of this when Craig slammed open the door, hair still mussed from the aforementioned hotdog attire. Looking proud of himself, he slammed a check down on the coffee table. “I DID it! I got rent money! You don’t have to kick me out now!” She stared at him in disbelief, “I… I appreciate it Payton. You really stepped up to the plate.” Her acting wasn’t very convincing, as a smirk kept creeping its way onto her face. “So, go on and tell me all about the work you must’ve done for this.” Craig sat down, propping his feet up on the coffee table, “Well, I’ll tell you this, the labor was taxing. I’m a real honest hardworking guy Clara, it’s just how I am.” She looked from him to her phone, then back again. She turned the screen towards him so he could see the video. Somewhere not too long after, Sketch received another text.

Craig: [txt] Fuck you.

#Chapter 14 #GGISM

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impatientz3r0 · 7 years ago

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Hell of a wake up and recounting my path so far

My morning has been a bit of a whirlwind. Got a special wake-up call from M2P which was fantastic (thank you love!). Then discovered that while I slept we got a message from A. We had been told a few days ago that they A and A² we’re breaking up with G the male of the triad. This message last night let us know how bad it was. Apparently he has been cheating on them for an extended period of time to the point he’s lost track. First you’re not only poly but you’re a fucking swinger why in the hell sneak around? Second how the fuck can you shit all over these girls you supposedly care for? I mean even the last time I saw him he asked me directly to keep an eye out for A. At the moment none of them know how I feel as I don’t think it’s a good time and M2P and I are still working on things. With that knowledge I said of course. I’ll keep an eye on her like I always do. Now finding this all out just makes me want to be even more watchful. Now. On the way into work I had time to do a little introspection. I took the news a little too well. Is it because it’s an unfulfilled connection? Is it the extra emotional work we’ve put in lately? Or is it my meds? Or maybe even a combo of all of it. I can still feel the “raging” me in there. I can say normally I would be ready to snap necks at this point. Whatever the answer is rage is no longer driving me as it used to. As I sit here writing this I’m less angry and more emotionally wrecked for the A’s. I’d like to reach out but as my future is still uncertain I’m afraid to make connections. I care for my friends deeply. And this one is special to me in an as of yet undefined way above that. I want to comfort her and A² as they must be dealing with a nightmare. Thankfully M2P who is an extremely empathetic soul was up last night with A helping her sort through some things. So in that I’m glad that someone is reaching out. I just wish it was me. On another note. I’ve obviously still got a lot of work to do on myself because I still feel like I’m whining talking about my emotions and my needs. I was raised by a very caring set of grandparents but I’ve managed to grow up emotionally stunted because of the way I learned to deal with my emotions. I’ve spent years upon years using rage to override thinks that I wasn’t comfortable with or wasn’t supposed to feel. Which I think was a major contributing factor to my late identification of myself as poly. Well that and growing up in a very church oriented environment that obviously pushed the one man one woman ideology. I had no idea what poly was until we met our first poly couple while swinging when we moved to the east coast and I was 30 at that point! This has caused a massive amount of grief in my marriage. My first experience “accidentally" falling in love with Em. My year long struggle denying there was a problem and just as I was finally getting back to normal with that W came into my life and that’s when I finally started realizing that it’s not a bad thing to have these feelings. I’m not bad just different. However this didn’t stop it from blowing up spectacularly in my face and almost costing me M2P. Just as I was starting to open up we slammed the door shut. Some of my earlier less VERBOSE posts contain some of what happened. I spent four years bitter and withdrawn. I put on a facade of not caring. I ignored my emotions and as nature is apt to do it but me in the ass. Over time A had apparently become a little bit more special to me than I thought and it decided to come out in the most awkward way possible. During a party, in the middle of sex. I still don’t know what exactly happened but I have told M2P it was like being physically struck. The fact that I had some sort of emotional reaction apparently broadcasted right across m my face bringing the "entertainment” to a screeching halt. I told her I was going through some things and it was me not her (M2P got a laugh at this one. Not even together and I’m already telling her its me not you). I tried to just recover went back to the party picked the first lady I found attractive and basically tried to fuck the problem away. By this point I hadn’t realized that I was apparently acting very erratically and M2P knew it. The night ended really badly. As we were getting in bed (all of us were sleeping in the same room) A walked in and I fixated. Until I noticed M2P staring at me. Oh shit dog house. I tried to play it off said it’s nothing and finished getting ready for bed. On the car ride home after having M2P draw it out of me I admitted what was going on. I had broken a rule that I was supposed to tell her when I was having"issues". That began a long discussion that we’re currently still trying to resolve. I’ve fully admitted I don’t think I can handle my life without an outlet. So we’ve been well you can read the rest of my and M2Ps blog if you need much detail. Suffice it to say we’re not sure where we are going. We are working toward an agreement. We have been hanging around with the As more. They were good friends before all this and we’re trying to keep up the normalcy while we work out how to handle things. We’re actually supposed to spend the weekend at a friend’s house with them this weekend. Which may or may not be bad. I’m trying to be hopeful that this will help or situation but it’s yet to be determined. Anyways I think that’s a big enough wall of text and way more than I had intended on writing but I guess while it’s flowing I should just let it. Until next time I guess it’s back to work! Z3R0

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the-master-cylinder · 5 years ago

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SUMMARY On an alien planet named Pluton, an alien garbage disposal converts a monstrous mutant called a Hungry Beast into energy and beams it into space. Meanwhile, on Earth, the Putterman family is getting satellite television, courtesy of a temperamental DIY satellite antenna. The reception is poor at first, but suddenly strengthens when a bolt of the alien energy hits the dish.

Sherman Putterman and his ex-military, survivalist grandfather set out to enjoy a night of horror films hosted by the buxom Medusa. Meanwhile, Sherman’s parents go out to meet some swingers and his sister Suzy goes out with her rocker boyfriend O.D. Sherman and his grandfather eventually fall asleep, but are awakened when the Hungry Beast materializes out of the TV and eats the grandfather. Sherman’s parents later arrive along with swingers Cherry and Spiro. Despite Sherman’s plea, his mother locks him in the fallout shelter so he will not ruin their evening.

Sherman tries calling the police, but they take him to be a prank caller. He also calls Medusa, but she dismisses him as a psychotic. Later, the Beast travels through the television into the house’s sex-themed “Pleasure Dome”, eats Cherry, and imitates her to lure Spiro. Sherman’s parents also get eaten after they discover the remains of the swingers. Sherman uses some plastic explosive to break out of the bunker as O.D. and his sister arrive.

Sherman’s sister doesn’t believe his story about a monster, and when they check their parents’ room, they find imitations of them, their grandfather and the swingers. Soon after though, they encounter the Beast in another room. It chases after them, but relents at the sight of O.D.’s heavy metal paraphernalia, which he finds appealing due to its resemblance of his caretaker’s gloves. They then discover that they can subdue the Beast with food and television, and teach it a few words such as “TV”, “music” and their names. They consider using the Beast for profit, and call Medusa in the hope of securing a TV appearance. She is initially dismissive, but shows interest when they promise to hold a party.

However, the Beast becomes enraged and eats O.D. when its alien captor appears on the TV to warn the earthlings that they must destroy their television equipment to prevent the Beast from spreading. A police officer arrives to arrest Sherman for the prank calls only to be eaten by the Beast. Sherman breaks all the TVs he can find, and eventually the Pluton alien captor appears through the television to exterminate the Beast. Medusa arrives at the house and kills the Pluton Alien, mistakenly believing that he is in fact the Beast that Sherman and Suzy have described to her. When the real monster arrives, it sucks the group of three into its mouth with a powerful gust of air.

The next morning, Medusa’s chauffeur is woken up by a crude imitation of his employer hiding in the back seat of his car, demanding to be taken to the TV station.

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DEVELOPMENT/BEHIND THE SCENES Ted Nicolaou convinced Band he was the right man to helm TERRORVISION, a film with roots in much of Charles Band’s creative process at the time. Nicolaou said he was presented no draft of a script or detailed premise. Instead, Band showed him a poster he had already created for the film and gave him a rough idea of what he was looking for in the film.

“He showed me the poster and said ‘Here, you want to do this?’ and my thought was that I sort of knew John Buechler’s work because I’d been editing movies that he had worked on for a few years and I sort of have this love of 1950s horror films from when I grew up, so I asked Charlie if I could make it a comedy and he said ‘Yes’ so I sort of wrote the script trying to make a movie that would haunt little children if they sat up and saw it on TV,” he explains. Nicolaou drew on that love of 50s sci-fi and horror to create a script about a monster thrown out of its own galaxy that finds its way to Earth via a large satellite dish. As the movie progresses with the over-the-top, rubber monster wrecking havoc and systematically killing off character after character, it’s obvious Nicolaou’s tongue was firmly in his cheek as he both wrote and directed the film.

“I wanted to do a movie where you could root for the monster. I didn’t really see, once a monster like that would be loose on society, a happy ending for humanity so I wanted to do a movie that took on the fringe trends at the time,” he says.

Those trends ranged from the bizarre to the more sexually adventurous and Nicolaou drew a great deal of inspiration from his surroundings.

“Survivalism was really big at that time and swinging was big in the Valley and Los Angeles at the time and that sort of New Wave music and heavy metal,” he says. “I took all of those things and there was a kooky, old guy who used to pass out flyers downtown who dressed like Gramps does in the movie with an army uniform and all these plastic weapons attached to it. We basically just mined what was going on around LA at the time for the characters of the film.” And those characters are, like the monster, bigger than life. Mary Woronov, in particular, seems to be in her natural element as the slutty, seductive Raquel Putterman. It’s not the role Nicolaou initially envisioned her in – he wanted her for the Elvira-like TV host Medusa played to perfection by Jennifer Richards – but she convinced him she’d be better off as the twisted family matriarch.

“When we started casting, back in those days Charlie was actually paying money for actors, I had asked Mary to come and read for the part of Medusa and when she came in she said ‘Medusa’s a role everyone would assume I would play but what I would really like to do is the part of the mom’ and it was one of those moments in casting that you hope for where, suddenly, someone changes your perspective on your whole character,” Nicolaou says. “So, I said ‘Yea, great’ and, with her, the movie started to alter its shape, a little bit. I mean, the script is the script and we pretty much did shoot the script, but with Mary and with Garret Graham in, it really kind of became even more intense of a beast.” Woronov may chew the scenery in each and every frame she appears in.

“These people lead a bizarrely stupefying life,” Woronov recounts. “One day, the father is fooling around with his satellite TV dish, and he accidentally attracts the garbage from a planet in another galaxy which disposes of its garbage in space.

“The planet has a pet problem. Their pets are very sweet, but they look hideous-like giant boogers with carrots around their waist. When the pets are happy, they get over-excited and eat voraciously. This all becomes too much for the planet’s inhabitants, so they throw the pets out with the garbage.

“One of these monster pets enters our house through the TV set. He’s very affectionate, but if he likes you, he immediately slimes you. So, the monster proceeds to systematically eat everyone in the family and then reproduce them. And he’s very sloppy about it, too-he leaves giant slime tracks all over the house.”

Set in suburban Las Vegas, Terrorvision was actually shot at the Dino De Laurentiis Studios in Rome. There, for the first time in her career, Woronov faced the challenge of working with complex and unreliable mechanical special FX.

“It was a frightening experience,” she comments. “The monster was the biggest prima donna in the world. And the man who operated him behaved like the king of the set.

“If the monster had a headache, we didn’t work for four hours, until they fixed whatever went wrong with him. But if I had a headache, I still had to work.

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“There was no air conditioning on the set, because the studio was falling apart. But there were three people inside the monster, working the mouth and the tentacle, and they had air conditioning. We actors had to sweat.”

A very young Chad Allen landed the role of Sherman. While the young Allen had appeared in various television series and TV movies prior to his TERRORVISION role, he had yet to gain stardom through the hit family show OUR HOUSE. The young actor hadn’t even reached his teens when TERRORVISION was released and, as Nicolaou recalls, was a professional on the set, even if his parents had some reservations about some of the film’s content.

“He was great. He was really, really professional. Very naturalistic, sort of in opposition to everybody else in the film. He seemed to be more of the sane centre of the film. He was great,” he says. “His parents were a little bit wary of the set when they saw it and asked that he not be filmed against any of the erotic art on the walls.”

Allen’s character, arguably, is the lone one in the film audiences may find a redeeming quality in. That’s not because of the young actor’s portrayal but, as the director explains, an extension of the script where nothing was sacred and there were no exceptions to the rule of surprising the audience by who would be the next to fall prey to the alien.

RELEASE/CONCLUSION “A friend of mine, at the time, accused the film of being homophobic and my response to that is that it’s basically misanthropic,” he says. “It’s not just homophobia, it pretty much doesn’t like anybody in the movie and I did that, in a way, because I didn’t want to start breaking people’s hearts when I started killing all the characters and I wanted it to maintain its humour.”

The film does that but its bizarre balance of horror and humour coupled with bad timing for its release in to theatres created a melting pot that neither critics nor the viewing public were willing to welcome with open arms. If anything, Nicolaou says, it almost seemed as if everything was working against TERRORVISION. “It was received horribly,” he recalls with a heavy sigh.

Empire TerrorVision poster promocional

“At the time, Charlie was trying to release films theatrically and he’d just released TROLL and ELIMINATORS in the weeks leading up to that and I think that had sort of worn the patience of critics and, then, the space shuttle blew up the week of the release of TERRORVISION so people were not in the mood for any type of humorous extra-terrestrial shenanigans and, basically, critics hated the movie. Critics bashed it, it gained some tiny cult following but was in and out of theatres in a matter of days.

“So, that really set me back. I was expecting people would like it a lot more than they did or it would at least find its stoner audience that would appreciate it but, at the time, it just set me back.”

However, the passing of time has been kind to both TERRORVISION and Nicolaou. The filmmaker bounced back and TERRORVISION eventually found its fringe audience.

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“I guess its sensibility was so at odds with the time it was made that it did what I sort of hoped it would….,” he reflects.

“When I was a kid I saw two movies on TV – just fragments of them – and one was INVADERS FROM MARS, the original, and the other was 5000 FINGERS OF DR.T and both were expressionistic fantasies and both of those movies haunted me for all my childhood because they were so out of the ordinary, visually, from anything. I’d seen before and I sort of wanted that for TERRORVISION. “It sort of managed to, I think, affect people in a weird way that they’d tell their friends. It’s sense of humour is not for everyone but it’s definitely for some people.

“It’s super satisfying for me now to see that it continues to be, sort of, spread from friend to friend and manages to continue to have screenings around the world and manages to be appreciated.”

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CAST/CREW Directed Ted Nicolaou

Produced Albert Band Charles Band Debra Dion

Written Charles Band Ted Nicolaou

Chad Allen as Sherman Putterman Diane Franklin as Suzy Putterman Mary Woronov as Raquel Putterman Gerrit Graham as Stanley Putterman Bert Remsen as Grampa Putterman Jon Gries as O.D. Jennifer Richards as Medusa Alejandro Rey as Spiro Randi Brooks as Cherry Frank Welker as Hungry Beast Alien (voice)

Special Effects by Brent Armstrong … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. John Carl Buechler … tv monster and special effects makeup designer and supervisor: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Michael Deak … MMI Liaison USA: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Cleve Hall … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Daniel Hoffman … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Robert Kurtzman … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Michelle Oggeri … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Margherita Regina … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. Desiree Soto Vaughn … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. (as Desiree Vaughn-Soto) John Vulich … creature fabricator & operator: Mechanical and Makeup Imageries, Inc. R. Christopher Biggs … special makeup effects artist

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Delirium#03 Starlog#102

TerrorVision (1986) Retrospective SUMMARY On an alien planet named Pluton, an alien garbage disposal converts a monstrous mutant called a Hungry Beast into energy and beams it into space.

#80sFilms #BAND #EMPIRE

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njawaidofficial · 7 years ago

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23 Movies That Have Been Ruined For You Forever

https://styleveryday.com/2018/03/25/23-movies-that-have-been-ruined-for-you-forever/

23 Movies That Have Been Ruined For You Forever

Tragic.

🚨Spoilers ahead!🚨

Stranger Than Fiction

“I learned my husband and best friend were having an affair when I walked in on them having sex while they were watching Stranger Than Fiction.” —melissam458146328

Columbia Pictures

The Departed

“My younger sister loves to spoil all movies for me. She started blowing up my phone towards the end of The Departed, knowing that I would start to worry and think it was an emergency. I opened my phone to a text, ‘EVERYONE DIES HAHAHAHA.‘ Classic.” —ensalinas82

Warner Bros.

Home Alone 2

“Home Alone 2… officially ruined because of Trump.“ —hertzlyd000

20th Century Fox

“The very first time I saw Up was back in 2009 on Thanksgiving. The first 15 minutes utterly destroyed me, and it was made even worse for me when I looked over to see my grandparents cuddled together on the couch. My grandma was in end-stage pancreatic cancer and wound up passing away not even a month and a half later. I can’t watch that movie anymore without going back to that moment.” —hordeoralliancewtf

Pixar

Wonder

“My 8-year-old son has a huge fear of Wonder to the point of obsession after seeing the trailer. He stopped watching TV on the chance they have commercials, and he won’t go into stores that might have it on display. He gets upset if we even say the word ‘wonder’. I read the book and wanted to see the movie, but after all of this, I don’t feel like seeing it anymore.” —catherinev7

Lionsgate

The Wizard of Oz

“The Wizard of Oz used to be one of my fave movies, but then I got a role in the musical and every thing was fine until I got my first fucking period on show night and had to wear white pants. I later looked at the pictures and EVERYONE could see my bloody pants. I can’t ever look at those lil munchkins again.“ —isabelb4357ef45b

MGM

Lord of the Rings

“My ex loved Lord of the Rings. I was sick one time and he brought over the extended edition of the entire series. It was fun watching it with him and we got to spend some quality time together. A few months later, he came out to me as gay while I was in the fucking HOSPITAL! I broke up with him and three weeks later, he started dating my best friend….. WHO IS A FEMALE! I can’t even think of LOTR without feeling angry.” —tammybingbongguidry

New Line Cinema

The Great Gatsby

“I went to go see The Great Gatsby with my crush and my best friend. Half way through the movie, the tables turn and the two of them are holding hands while I’m the third wheel. I still cant listen to ‘Young’.” —srocano

Warner Bros

The Goonies

“The Goonies was ruined for me because of my psychotic sister. She FLIPPED out because I watched her VHS and put the tape back in the wrong way. She threw the tape at me and screamed at me. What followed was an entire summer, autumn and part of a winter of her mistreating me, stealing MY tapes and destroying them. I swear, it was daily hell for me. It was affecting my mentality and making me scared to come home. I still cannot watch The Goonies to this day.” —missgem

Warner Bros.

Prometheus

“My husband and I went on a rare kid-free date to see Prometheus. Unfortunately, the man behind us felt so at home and comfortable, he took his shoes off and propped them up by us. Now, I can’t see anything involving the Alien franchise without thinking of horrible foot odor.” —jordanqc3

20th Century Fox

22 Jump Street

“In college, my (now ex) boyfriend and I tried to plan a movie night. We thought it’d be fun to rent a bunch of movies and make snacks, etc. His three neighbors came barging in, drunk as shit. They turned all the lights on, plopped down, and watched the movie. They talked during the whole thing and ate all the snacks. I kept texting my boyfriend to ask them to leave, but he never said anything to them. Still can’t watch 22 Jump Street without my skin crawling from anger.” —whitneysmith

Columbia Pictures

Shrek 2

“I was watching Shrek 2 with my dad and sister when my very first boyfriend broke up with me over text message.” —hannahm4bb8c3134

DreamWorks

Beetlejuice

“I went through a spell of having nightmares, and I had one where Beetlejuice was trying to murder me and my entire family. Flash forward 16 years later, and I can’t even look at Michael Keaton without feeling a little uneasy.“ —l46409f7ca

Warner Bros.

Frozen

“My mom just had to tell me that she cheated on my dad with her best friend’s son, who also happened to be a good friend of mine. I was crushed. We took the kids to see Frozen the next day and I cried silently through the whole thing. Now I associate that movie with heartbreak and even hearing the soundtrack makes me tear up.” —suzannel46f36ed04

Disney

The Godfather

“I was recovering from organ transplant surgery. One evening, I was in tremendous pain and sat up while watching The Godfather hoping the pain would pass. Turns out I had a bad abdominal infection and almost died. To this day, I can’t watch the movie without some emotional discomfort.” —josritson

Paramount Pictures

American Pie

“The first American Pie movie, because every time I went to a party, people expected me to scream “MILF! MILF!” at the family photos hanging up simply because I was Asian and spiked my hair like John Cho did.” —samg4b02cda83

Universal Studios

The Mask

“I can’t watch The Mask with Jim Carrey because halfway through watching it, my dad left and my mom announced we were moving out. Every time I see it, I think about that night!” —bradyg3

New Line Cinema

Kung Fu Panda

“I once agreed to hang out with my friend and her boyfriend while in middle school. We put on Kung Fu Panda and within the first five minutes, the two of them were making out. It was so awkward. I didn’t know what to do because I was so shy, so I just sat there through the whole thing while they were going at it. I almost got kicked in the face” —callic2

Dreamworks

Swingers

“I dated a guy who was obsessed with Swingers. If I never hear someone tell me I’m ‘so money, baby’ ever again, it will be too soon.” —januarycomet

Miramax

Old School

“We were watching Old School as a family when my dad got a suspicious phone call from his ‘job’ claiming he was needed at the office. Later that night, while he was still at ‘work’, he accidentally butt-dialed my mom and she heard him telling another woman he loved her. They were divorced shortly thereafter.” —jazzycatsindisneyland

DreamWorks

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

“Rise of the Planet of the Apes was ruined after my little brother had a seizure while my family was watching it. We had to call an ambulance, and when I came back from the hospital it was still paused and on the screen. I can’t even watch the movie without getting stressed, which is a real shame considering what an awesome movie it is.” —londoni2

20th Century Fox

Full Metal Jacket

“My dad and one of his friends got day drunk watching Full Metal Jacket. A friend was dropping me off after school and we pulled into the driveway to find the two of them shaving each other’s heads, poorly, while loudly quoting most of the boot camp scenes. I was mortified. Haven’t been able to watch the movie since.” —riotfoxmommy

Warner Bros.

The Sixth Sense

“I rented it when it came out on video and invited my friend over to watch it. I told her I hadn’t seen it, and she replied ‘Oh, you’ll love it. Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.‘ We no longer speak.” —samanthaholleyf

“If you’ve watched 50 First Dates then you know they watch The Sixth Sense everyday. One scene, Drew Barrymore’s character says ‘I can’t believe Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time!’ And sadly, right then and there was when The Sixth Sense was spoiled for me.” —tatel4dd4c2d7a

“My mom: ‘Wasn’t it crazy how Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?’ Me: ‘Mom, I haven’t seen it yet!’ Mom: ‘Oh you haven’t? That’s too bad. It was really great!'” —sarapara725

Buena Vista Pictures

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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adambstingus · 7 years ago

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24 People Share The Grossest, Most Unsettling Thing They Ever Experienced While Hooking Up

1.Sixty Two Stitches

Girl beneath me, rolls me over onto my back – in the process we roll off the bed and we land on the floor, me on the bottom and her still straddling me. Her leg went straight through a big glass of water. Blood everywhere. She had lacerated her leg straight to the bone in a clean cut: I could see her muscle. Within ten minutes of our initial playing around there were 6 firemen and 3 policemen in the room (she was mental and shouted down the phone that I had a gun so they would come sooner). I was high and drunk and so her roomie took control. Paralysed by shock and weed, I had to hide while they took her in the ambulance as she was THAT crazy that I was expecting her to call rape.

She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.

2. Bless You

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

3. Love Conquers All

My story probably doesn’t compare to any of these but here goes:

I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a ¾ circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

4.Legit Upsetting

Three words.

Anal sex. Pinworms.

It’s fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.

5.Butt Stuff Isn’t For The Timid

So, the boy and I like some backdoor fun from time to time. We talk about it more than we do it because it’s tiresome to get ready and clean up after… usually worth it though ;). One Saturday afternoon, the boy is performing some world class cuminonumbulus when I feel a pressure at my nether orifice. I soon realised he was using some beads on me. We had some filthy and very very satisfying sex, then I went to the bathroom to clean up without removing the beads.

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

6. Definitely Karma At Work

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.

I was pretty drunk and had to fart.

I had the runs, and well. You know… I pooped. It was especially runny, it felt weird landing on the back of my thighs. It really sucked, but I kept on at it for a few more minutes.. Then I felt the bubble guts. I was torn. I was drunk, so I was debating if I wanted to just shit and keep going or get up and run away. Some how those were my only two options.

My body had a third option.

I decided to get up and just leave but I didn’t want get my pants all covered in shit.

So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.

I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.

I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.

I think it could have been karma.

7.Busted

We were messing around in the car waiting for the class to start where I had to write my midterm exam. So to relieve some pressure I suggested a quick one. She agreed. We were in the school parking lot and right when I finished and was about to pull the condom (my gf was in the front seat already) our prof parks right next to us. I was terrified to say the least.

He said/gestured if I was coming to class and soI rolled my window down with my hand on my crotch and said yes. He said, “Do you mind helping me with these papers?” with the best poker face ever! I had no other choice but to say yes. So I pulled my pants up and walked with him with the cum filled condom still on my penis.

I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.

8.Banjo String

I split my ‘banjo string’ if you know what I mean. Blood EVERYWHERE.

9. “Deaf Girl Down”

I went to college at a school with a large deaf population, so there a couple thousand deaf kids running around campus at any given time. First big party night of the fall, and everyone is getting shitfaced. Two of my roommates and I had returned to the apt for a quick smoke session.

So in barges our other roommate with a girl of clearly questionable virtue, and immediately they run upstairs to his bedroom without another word. Our roommate was a lanky ginger with a scruffy red beard and mustache… we used to call him brother Hezekiah.

So about 5-10 minutes go by, and all of a sudden this girl comes bounding down the stairs half dressed at best and runs out the door. Our roommate closely follows jumps down the last stair to the landing, and starts yelling “deaf girl down! deaf girl down!”.

We start laughing hysterically and as I’m about to ask him wtf happened, i notice the blood running down his redbearded chin to his neck and chest. It was truly a vulgar site…at that point I literally fell to the floor laughing.

Long story short, she was deaf and couldn’t seem to communicate to him not to go down on her because she was on her period. She fled the scene in mortified embarrassment.

My roommate, despite our advice to the contrary, splashed some water on his face and went back out to party.

10. Cheesy

Going down on a guy can be like being locked in the trunk of a car with old cheese. WASH YOUR BALLS! And it wouldn’t hurt to trim a lil. The grossest sexual encounter I’ve had was a guy who sweat so profusely it was dripping on me, then he flipped his sweaty ass around into my face to attempt what I can only assume was a 69 position but was more like being force fed a butt sandwich and I could see the sweat glistening on his ass/ball hair, that, and the cheese smell coming from his balls made my eyes water and I threw him off me and ran to the shower. 30 minutes of soap and hot water and I still didn’t feel clean.

11. Drank A Drugged Drink Intended For A Girl

I once got drugged, no shit.

Went to a swingers club with my chick at the time, was hanging out and having a great time. At some point I figure I must have picked up the wrong champagne glass that was meant for this hot ukranian girl next to me.

About an hour later we were going in the taxi back to our apt with another girl my gf had met there at the club when I was violently sick and started to black out, in the front of the cab. Barely made it home, then collapsed for about 15 hours. Aparently my gf and the chick had to pay the taxi guy like 100 bucks and it was a big mess. Of course my 3some was off, thanks asshole.

I totally didn’t think that ‘date rape drug in your drink’ urban legend was true until that night.

12. The Most Horrible Of Horror Stories

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

13. What A Trooper

A girl I had been dating for awhile climbed on me for 69. As she scooted back, I saw something white, realized too late that it was a clump of toilet paper, and got it in my mouth. Pretty nasty, but I spit it out and kept going.

14. Cats Hate You

Last summer my husband and I were living with roommates who had a cat. We were drinking and started getting hot and heavy, he stripped down and jumped on the bed, said something about it being wet and jumped back up. One of us had left our bedroom door cracked and the cat had gotten stuck in the room, and pooped all over our bed. Worse is that apparently this cat was sick with worms. My poor husband was covered in kitty diarrhea, blood and worms.

15. The Mystery Throat Infection

I went down on my girlfriend when neither of us had realized she had a yeast infection. I knew something was off, but kept going anyway. Two days later I had a sore throat and when I looked at it in the mirror it was all white and nasty. Then, she went to the doctor, got her diagnosis, and when she told me about it I put 2 and 2 together and realized that I had a yeast infection in my throat. Ugh. It went away pretty quickly on its own though.

16. She Needed Help…

Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

17. Roommate Walked In And Immediately Regretted It

Freshman year of college, I met this guy and brought him back to my dorm (I’m also a guy). He seemed nice and everything, and he was cute, and we started to fuck around. Eventually he decided he wanted to bottom (i.e. get fucked), and so we started having intercourse…

I started to smell the distinct smell of fecal matter very soon. I thought “whatever, I guess you should expect a little smell when having anal sex.” I continued, and the smell continued to get worse.

Eventually, we finish, and I pull out – only to see a of shit spew out of his ass. It was everywhere. I mean, fucking everywhere. It was explosive diarrhea-type shit, on my bed, on me, on the wall even.

… and then my roomate walked in.

I found out later that the dude had a severe bowel problem of some kind, and really shouldn’t have bottomed. My ex-roomate is still a friend of mine, and I still have to assure him that that’s not what gay sex generally looks like.

18. The Most Polite Lady Ever

I have to steal a friend’s story here, so here’s to you Nate!

So Nate was in South Carolina for the summer, and he went out for a night of drinking. He met an older lady (Nate was 21, she was in her 40’s) and apparently hit it off. They left together, but since Nate was staying with his aunt and uncle, and she was married, they didn’t have a proper place to go have a fuck. They decide to just pull over and have at it right there in some random field.

So, Nate get’s off, they get back in the car, he drops her off, and he goes home to get some rest. He went to the bathroom to piss out some of the beer he drank that night and looked down at his dick. It was GREEN. So, naturally, he freaks out and calls the girl up immediately (apparently they had exchanged numbers).

She answers and he immediately demands to know what the fuck is up with his dick being all green. To which the random older woman replies:

I guess it isn’t that gross, but I thought it was worth noting.

19. This Is A Girl That Fears Nothing

I was going down on this guy that I had just started seeing. He is uncircumcised so I pull the skin down around the tip and see *shudder… cottage cheese. I just could not go on but being the resourceful girl that I am, I stood up, walked over to the sink, ran some warm water on a wash cloth, came back, playfully cleaned him up and went back at it.

20.Seems An Overreation

First year of university. I’m escorted back to my domicile by a young gallant. Once we get in, I’m naked, admiring his rather lovely body and ignoring his rather stilted pillow talk. All was going well… until my period started.

That pretty much killed the mood, and I can understand. But I thought it was a bit disproportionate when he got his phone out and CALLED HIS MUM FOR A RIDE HOME. Especially since he was STILL NAKED AND ERECT. I watched this punk rock dude, naked but for mohawk and piercings, stiffy gently bouncing, politely tell his mother where he was and that yes, he’d submitted his coursework.

That was a bit wrong.

21. Like Drinking From A Latex Cup

In Beijing, I hooked up with this woman I met at a bar. Right after we finished going at it, She asks me, in Chinese, if she can drink my water. I couldn’t understand what she meant. I didn’t have a bottle of water or anything. It turns out the word for ‘water’ actually means ‘liquid’ in general. She point towards the used condom I was still holding, took it from my hand, tipped it up, and drank it down–sucking the condom inside out to get every last drop. I died a little on the inside.

It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. What made it worse was when I tried to share my gross story with a co-worker. Instead of sharing my revulsion, he asked for her phone number.

I’m sure condoms taste nasty. I don’t know why she couldn’t have just told me ahead of time. I would have been perfectly happy to pull out, remove the condom, and finish in her mouth without having to use the condom as a nasty, latex cup.

22. Class Act All The Way

I did hook up with a girl once who’s “pubic area” smelled of death itself, but what can you say about a 22 yr old girl (who’s man is in jail) that you pick up in a Jewish cemetery at 2 am, get head from 5 min later and then try and fuck in a ditch behind her house… We went back to her house, I passed out, and woke up to realise I was sleeping on a dog turd on her bed room floor. I was amazed it was the ONLY turd I slept on. I was classy people at 16.

23. With Friends Like These…

It wasn’t gross for me personally:

My buddy and I met these 2 chicks. Way leads on to way and we’re in the hotel room, all four of us. It’s very “dear penthouse” in there – switching back and forth and such – and then we go for the epic DP. I’m pretty fucked up, but draw backdoor duty. My buddy’s got a girl on his face (straddling his shoulders) and one on his hips. I feel myself getting ready, so I pull out, walk around and… uh… come on my buddy’s face because I thought it would be hilarious.

The fallout – I’m laughing maniacally, and both girls end up laughing. My friend is pissed off, but finishes, but then punches me in the face, several times. I was laughing the whole time, but had a pretty nasty black eye.

The fallout, part the second: a few days later at lunch another friend asked how I got the black eye. My buddy just slammed his lunch tray down on the table and stormed off as I start laughing uncontrollably again.

24. Man Endures The Unendurable…Gets Blamed For It

This is the sad case of Carrie “fisher”. I met this lovely Canadian girl at a dive bar in Sydney and in my drunken suave state managed to procure her phone number. SO I called and 6 days later on the Friday I went over to her flat for dinner. I ended up talking to her gay flatmate most of the time, mostly about planes and didn’t really hit it off with the Canadian named Carrie.

Finally everyone went to bed and Carrie and I were left alone to talk in the kitchen. The kitchen talk led to kitchen kissing and before you know it I had found out that she was not wearing any panties. But through my Holmes like deductive skills I knew that something wasn’t quite right and so I sheepishly asked her: “Do you have something inside?” to which I received an unprovoked: “No, I’ve just got a shallow pussy”. My prudishness set in. And let me say I am one of those conservative looking inwardly extreme people. Suffice it to say I kept on and again was met with “resistance”. I plucked up the courage to say: “No , I really think you have something in there” and with deft and nimble fingers, proceeded to slide out and uncork a hard, 7 day old, mucous encrusted tampon.

“The Silver Slug Incident” as Carrie’s house would later call it as though it was all a big joke and not remotely gross. It flopped to the floor with a “flop” and it was kind of like Alladin’s lamp, except that the genie was the worst smell. Kind of like when you walk pass a plot of land and turn to your friend and say: “wow, smells like something is dead in there”. It was the stench of something so putrid and rotten and it went deep inside me. After seeing smelling it she immediately stated: “Oh, my god I am sooo embarrassed.” I, of course, was embarrassed for her and nervously asked if she wanted a bath. “What do you mean?” Not knowing what to say I said with a question: “with me?” Cut to having a bath Cut from bath to spending the night and actually having sex with her because I was to wimpy to say: “That’s gross and I am outta here!”

Cut to the next week in the dvd store that I worked at. She comes in and rents Spiderman. We talk in that “I’m not acknowledging what happened” way. Her flatmate-a girl comes in and also gets Spiderman and with a tiny dvd store full of customers yells out as she leaves: “Oh and by the way…you gave Carrie a yeast infection!”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/169088351967

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago

Text

24 People Share The Grossest, Most Unsettling Thing They Ever Experienced While Hooking Up

1.Sixty Two Stitches

She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.

2. Bless You

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

3. Love Conquers All

My story probably doesn’t compare to any of these but here goes:

I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a 3/4 circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

4.Legit Upsetting

Three words.

Anal sex. Pinworms.

It’s fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.

5.Butt Stuff Isn’t For The Timid

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

6. Definitely Karma At Work

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.

I was pretty drunk and had to fart.

My body had a third option.

I decided to get up and just leave but I didn’t want get my pants all covered in shit.

So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.

I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.

I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.

I think it could have been karma.

7.Busted

I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.

8.Banjo String

I split my ‘banjo string’ if you know what I mean. Blood EVERYWHERE.

9. “Deaf Girl Down”

Long story short, she was deaf and couldn’t seem to communicate to him not to go down on her because she was on her period. She fled the scene in mortified embarrassment.

My roommate, despite our advice to the contrary, splashed some water on his face and went back out to party.

10. Cheesy

11. Drank A Drugged Drink Intended For A Girl

I once got drugged, no shit.

I totally didn’t think that ‘date rape drug in your drink’ urban legend was true until that night.

12. The Most Horrible Of Horror Stories

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

13. What A Trooper

14. Cats Hate You

15. The Mystery Throat Infection

16. She Needed Help…

Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

17. Roommate Walked In And Immediately Regretted It

… and then my roomate walked in.

18. The Most Polite Lady Ever

I have to steal a friend’s story here, so here’s to you Nate!

She answers and he immediately demands to know what the fuck is up with his dick being all green. To which the random older woman replies:

I guess it isn’t that gross, but I thought it was worth noting.

19. This Is A Girl That Fears Nothing

20.Seems An Overreation

That was a bit wrong.

21. Like Drinking From A Latex Cup

It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. What made it worse was when I tried to share my gross story with a co-worker. Instead of sharing my revulsion, he asked for her phone number.

22. Class Act All The Way

23. With Friends Like These…

It wasn’t gross for me personally:

24. Man Endures The Unendurable…Gets Blamed For It

Source: http://allofbeer.com/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/12/29/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/

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allofbeercom · 7 years ago

Text

24 People Share The Grossest, Most Unsettling Thing They Ever Experienced While Hooking Up

1.Sixty Two Stitches

She required 62 stitches, 40 on the muscle covering her shin.

This is the singular most traumatic experience of my life.

2. Bless You

He pulled it out to come on my face, I was unprepared and snorted his semen up my nose. We started making out and I sneezed his semen onto his own face.

Probably grosser for him than for me, but not by much.

3. Love Conquers All

My story probably doesn’t compare to any of these but here goes:

I had recently found a new girlfriend. A cute, blonde girl with lots of curves in all the right places. We had been together for a little while (this was back when I was a Jr. in college and she was a freshman) when we went to this huge party. We both ended up getting totally trashed and wound up back at my place. Needless to say I was waaay to drunk to get any bidnass done that night. The next morning we woke up and started to get it on. For some reason, Im always really randy after a night of heavy drinking. Anyway…midway through the sex, we are doing it doggy style with her on all 4 at the edge of the bed and me standing behind her on the floor. I am hammering away like a rabid jackrabbit when, all of a sudden, i get that sour food, extra saliva feeling in my mouth. I knew what was coming but it was too late. As the puke surged up my esophagus, I clenched my hands over my mouth in a death grip, but to no avail. I spun around and tried to aim for my waste bin….but it was no use. I ended up projectile vomiting in about a 3/4 circle. I managed to go from her right side, across that wall, across the wall behind me (and the bookcase that was there), all over the waste bin, and i over spun and went passed the waste bin and got it on my floor and the bed on her left side. Luckily, only some puke flak got on her back….

She’s a great girl though, that was 3 years ago and we are still together…

4.Legit Upsetting

Three words.

Anal sex. Pinworms.

It’s fucking nasty to pull your dick out and see a dozen or so worms writhing around on the condom.

5.Butt Stuff Isn’t For The Timid

I’m so glad I did that.

I sat on the toilet to get the beads out.

I’m so glad I did that.

Those beads were solidly embedded in a great big turd.

I just stared at it dumbly for a moment before the smell hit me.

6. Definitely Karma At Work

I accidentally shit once while fucking a girl.

I was pretty drunk and had to fart.

My body had a third option.

I decided to get up and just leave but I didn’t want get my pants all covered in shit.

So I did a quick wipe with the boxers, threw my jeans on.. and pretty much just walked out.

I was really upset at myself for how I handled it.

I started to walk home and I fell down and shit myself.

I think it could have been karma.

7.Busted

I was in the class for one hour and 45 mins and had to write the test with the condom on my dick. Every time I moved I died a little inside.

8.Banjo String

I split my ‘banjo string’ if you know what I mean. Blood EVERYWHERE.

9. “Deaf Girl Down”

Long story short, she was deaf and couldn’t seem to communicate to him not to go down on her because she was on her period. She fled the scene in mortified embarrassment.

My roommate, despite our advice to the contrary, splashed some water on his face and went back out to party.

10. Cheesy

11. Drank A Drugged Drink Intended For A Girl

I once got drugged, no shit.

I totally didn’t think that ‘date rape drug in your drink’ urban legend was true until that night.

12. The Most Horrible Of Horror Stories

So this one time I’m having sex with my girlfriend right, and it was all good and sexy so we finish up and everything seems cool.

Then about 9 months later a fucking little comes out of her pussy! I mean just like pops out and I saw that shit with my own eyes!

The little fucker is still living with us.

13. What A Trooper

14. Cats Hate You

15. The Mystery Throat Infection

16. She Needed Help…

Having sex with my wife, and then noticing that something didn’t feel quite right, she still had a tampon in from 4 days prior…and i had to help pull it out….

17. Roommate Walked In And Immediately Regretted It

… and then my roomate walked in.

18. The Most Polite Lady Ever

I have to steal a friend’s story here, so here’s to you Nate!

She answers and he immediately demands to know what the fuck is up with his dick being all green. To which the random older woman replies:

I guess it isn’t that gross, but I thought it was worth noting.

19. This Is A Girl That Fears Nothing

20.Seems An Overreation

That was a bit wrong.

21. Like Drinking From A Latex Cup

It was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen. What made it worse was when I tried to share my gross story with a co-worker. Instead of sharing my revulsion, he asked for her phone number.

22. Class Act All The Way

23. With Friends Like These…

It wasn’t gross for me personally:

24. Man Endures The Unendurable…Gets Blamed For It

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/24-people-share-the-grossest-most-unsettling-thing-they-ever-experienced-while-hooking-up/

0 notes