#I WROTE FUCKING ACADEMIC PAPERS ABOUT THIS GAME

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gatheredfates]

Playerscope, modding and the hunt for aesthetic: why you should be more upset about mods and community expectations than you already are.

I love that this sounds like an academic paper but HONESTLYYYY. I need to put my thoughts to paper in regards to my burnout with xiv, otherwise I think I'll go insane. This is a controversial yet brave post. I am well aware that I partake in some of the things I'm going to be critiquing; aka, "thank you, dinklebottom, we live in a society." I'm also not critiquing mods from a space of offering more accessibility to people and/or facilitating representation not currently offered within the context of the game. There is nuance to every discussion and I'm coming at this from an overarching view around mods and community expectations/standards rather than player joy. I hope this makes sense. I'm also predominately writing from a roleplay perspective, though I'm sure a lot of what I end up saying can reflect in the art party/social space. Just know if I haven't mentioned the latter it's because that's not my scene and I don't pretend to know otherwise.

Anyway. For those who don't know, there's a new mod that's causing some strife in the xiv community called Playerscope. Here is the reddit thread about it. I'm not going to be talking too much about the mod in general because that's not the point of this post, but seeing discussion around it today just made me feel more exhausted than I already am when it comes to modding and the xiv community around it. It made me realise... I'm actually really sick to death of mods. I'm sick to death of what they're doing to the community when it comes to gatekeeping, policing and in general the interactions we have with each other in the community.

Let me explain: I wrote a post about the roleplay mod on bsky that kind of articulates at a surface level what I mean.

I think what makes me sad, which I'm sure is echoed by a lot of people, is that mods feel like the standard now rather than an option and that there's a certain expectation for people to have them if they want to engage with facets of the community—whether intentional or not.

Unlike XIV, WoW has a supported mod scene (within reason) and TRP 2 and the like have been accepted for years now. In a space where people can't slap on an RP tag, having that tool readily identifies you as a writer/roleplayer and you can include as much or as little of your character as you like. The general idea is if you have one of these tools enabled, you're a roleplayer to some capacity. You can dress up the profile to a certain degree, you can add links and supported pictures, but you're mostly reliant on what you put to paper in regards to your character. Even then, I find filling out what my character is doing currently and marking the rest as a WIP doesn't necessarily exclude me from roleplay if I want to find it. A lot of people will do that and a super simple description to incite interest around their oc.

These days in XIV... I don't know. I do think communities have gotten more insular—it's why I'm so pedantic about trying to find them for the Compendium—but I also think mods and, to a certain extent, the 'nightclub' scene have gotten in the way of it as well. My argument is such.

I want to go to an event (for example sake, I'll call it Seascape). In order to fully participate, I may need:

Their discord.

A roleplay addon.

A carrd/google site/etc.

Their synchshell (including mods, mare and everything else)

Potentially a mod of some description so people know I can see theirs (and vice versa).

Also that your mod isn't made by a shitty person.

Appropriate understanding of the scene/social space.

Some luck and a prayer that it's an inclusive space and not a closed rp group advertising as being open and/or a mod showcase advertising itself as something different.

Like??? Holy shit you guys. If you are someone who doesn't want to mod because you're worried about repercussions it really just feels like a big 'fuck you, good luck'.

And let me be clear, not every community is like this. I'm incredibly lucky to have found fantastic roleplay within my own rp event/community, I have great friends who run awesome, inclusive events for people of any skill (writing or otherwise) and I do fully believe you can just enable the rp tag and find fun, fulfilling roleplay. But I've also found the above a lot of times, too. I've had people point-blank get mad at my partner because he won't install mods and try to exclude and/or circumvent him in spaces. It's weird. I've been to events where the only time I felt like I got proper interaction(s) was when I joined the aforementioned, even if I have my character's profile linked in my about. It's weird.

Honestly, no wonder new roleplayers feel overwhelmed. Not only do they have to learn roleplay etiquette, they have to be a mod expert overnight? It feels less about what someone can bring to the table as far as a story but what mods they can install to either look cool or pass an unspoken social barrier. As much as I'm down bad for aesthetic and looking the part, I hate it being at the cost of accessibility and fun for someone else.

Arguably it's the same for gposing and the like as well, which contributes to my exhaustion alongside all the graphical changes and I just. I'm gnawing at the bars of my cage.

I don't think it's going to change and arguably it's more of a Twitter/X issue than a Tumblr, one but Tumblr lets me write mini essays and Twitter will tell me to kms.

Ergo, I'll go with the essay-writing platform.

Anyway, I guess this is just a reminder that you don't need 4596419651 mods to be in the community and that people should be more vigilant on including people who don't have them for whatever reason, provided they operate in good-faith and want to contribute. I think we're careening to a slippery slope of expectation for something unsupported and I don't like it.

[hivemuthur]

The Game of Teaching Body - Ch. 8.

viktorxfemale!reader explict! (we got there)

AU university, AU modern era, slow burn, frenemies to lovers, teasing, pinning, banter, eventual romance and therefore smut, Viktor is simultaneously a menace and needs a hug, TA Viktor

Ch.1. | Ch.2. | Ch.3. | Ch.4. | Ch.5. | Ch.6. | Ch.7. | Ch.9. | Ch.10. | Ch.11. | Ch.12.

word count: 5,4K

tag: #the game of teaching body

summary: ok, I'm covering my eyes while I drop this. I'm sorry for making Viktor such a drunk fuck. Also tw: alcohol and drunken groping with consent.

Cross-posted on AO3 + POV3rd Person Version

—

You sat in the library; the complete silence, save for the rustling of papers around you, made your head pound with your own blood pressure. The stacks of books and papers in front of you felt heavier than usual. Your eyes kept drifting to the sheet of notes Viktor had given you—notes for the classes you had missed while you were sick. You hadn’t been able to focus much earlier, and now, even though the words were neatly typed and clear, your mind kept coming back to the small annotations Viktor had written in the margins. His handwriting was precise, almost mechanical in its neatness, but there was something about the way he added little reminders or tips for you that made your heart skip a beat.

“Don’t overthink this part—just get to the point.”

You read it again, your finger tracing the lines, a flicker of a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Typical Viktor, trying to simplify the most complicated concepts. You imagined him sitting at his desk, brows furrowed in concentration as he wrote those words. You even found yourself wondering if he’d been thinking about you when he wrote them—if he had anticipated you being confused or struggling with the material.

The thought caught you off guard.

You shifted in your seat, trying to shove the feeling down. Stop it, you told yourself. Focus on the work. No distractions.

But it was hard. The more you tried to ignore it, the more vivid the memory of Viktor’s teasing smirk and his quiet intensity became.

You’ve been thinking about him too much, you told yourself, rubbing your eyes as if the physical motion could shake the thoughts loose.

Your gaze flicked back to his notes, and something in your chest tightened again. You should’ve been mad at him for being so distant, so... cryptic. It was easier to be angry, but the more you thought about him, the more complicated things became. The frustration of his mixed signals—the way he acted like he didn’t care, even though you could tell that there was something more beneath the surface. Or you had made it up. Or not. The way you fought each other for control was… annoying, at best.

Your finger paused mid-air, hovering over another annotation. “You’re doing fine. Trust yourself.”

The words hit harder than you expected. You hadn’t realized how much you needed to hear them. There it was again—the subtle way Viktor pushed you to believe in yourself, even when he barely acknowledged you beyond your academic interactions.

You leaned back in your chair, closing your eyes, trying to push the confusing swirl of emotions away. It’s just a stupid crush, you told yourself. It doesn’t mean anything.

But then a thought popped into your head—one you would never say out loud, but it made your lips twitch. “If you’re ever feeling lost, Viktor, just look at your own notes. They’re like a secret map to your soul.”

You laughed quietly to yourself, imagining his dry, deadpan response. “I’d rather get lost, honestly.”

The sound of your own laughter felt strange, almost foreign. You hadn’t allowed yourself to be this relaxed in a while, not with Viktor constantly invading your thoughts, making you second-guess everything you thought you knew. You could picture him standing in front of you with that smug grin, the way his voice would carry a teasing tone. You could almost hear it now—the way his eyes would narrow in mock annoyance, pretending to be unaffected by your joke.

The brief moment of humour quickly faded, replaced by a familiar ache in your chest.

God, I’m such an idiot. You clutched the notes tighter, but the thought wouldn’t leave. What if he actually is a secret softie? What if he’s not as distant as he pretends to be?

Your breath caught at the realisation. You were in deeper than you’d ever wanted to admit. But the idea of confronting it—of facing whatever was brewing between you—felt overwhelming. You didn’t know if you were ready to open yourself up to someone like Viktor.

You don’t even know what he wants from you, you reminded yourself. And you definitely don’t know what you want from him.

But somehow, the more you thought about it, the more you realised you did know. You wanted something real. You wanted more than whatever it was that passed between you—the teasing, the tension, the moments of quiet connection that always seemed to slip away too fast.

But Viktor? He wasn’t the kind of guy who did anything real, was he?

You shook your head, trying to clear the mess of thoughts swirling around. You needed to get a grip. You couldn’t afford to get lost in whatever this was. Not now.

But as you reached for the next page of notes, you found yourself wondering, with a small, reluctant smile, what it would be like to get lost in Viktor after all.

You closed your books with a sharp snap, taking a deep breath as you stood from the library table. Your mind was a tangled mess of notes, formulas, and Viktor’s handwriting, and you needed a moment to clear your head.

Just as you were about to step out into the corridor, a flash of movement caught your eye. Viktor and Jayce were leaving the building, walking side by side, their heads tilted together in what seemed like an animated conversation.

You froze.

Your heart skipped a beat, but it wasn’t excitement—or perhaps it was, the kind of excitement immediately tempered by fear. Viktor’s familiar figure cut through the dim evening light, and for a split second, all you could do was stand there, rooted to the spot.

But then, before you could even process it fully, you spun on your heel and ducked back inside the room, retreating into the shadows of the library. You didn’t want to see them. You didn’t want to deal with that knot in your stomach, the one that seemed to tighten every time Viktor came too close. You needed to focus. You had work to do in the lab, notes to catch up on, and you couldn’t afford to get tangled up in whatever... this was.

***

Viktor felt the effects of the alcohol settling in his veins as he stepped outside the pub with Jayce, the cool night air cutting through the haze of tipsiness creeping in. He’d been enjoying the conversation, savouring the camaraderie and the easy flow of ideas. Jayce’s energy had a way of drawing him out, pushing his thoughts into unexpected places, and Viktor appreciated the stimulating nature of their late-night discussions.

“So, you think we’re really on track to finish our little side thing by the end of the next semester?” Jayce asked, slinging an arm over Viktor’s shoulder in a way that was both familiar and mildly irritating.

Viktor grinned, brushing away the alcohol-induced warmth clouding his thoughts. “I’m absolutely certain. We’ve already made significant progress, and the pace we’re setting is impressive.” He paused, squinting as the streetlights flickered overhead. “But I have to admit, I’m too drunk to keep up this stimulating conversation. I think it’s time I bow out gracefully.”

Jayce chuckled, nudging him playfully. “Don’t worry, man. You’ve earned a break. You can retire for the night, and Mel and I will take it from here. You’re not sticking around for the after-party?”

Viktor glanced at Jayce, catching the way his friend’s face lit up at the mention of Mel. A teasing smirk tugged at Viktor’s lips. “You two are practically attached at the hip tonight. If I stayed, I’d just be interrupting something. Besides, it’s been a long day—I’ll call it a night.”

Jayce laughed, shaking his head. “Fair enough. Go sneak off to your secret lair, then.”

“Whatever you say, Jayce,” Viktor replied, his tone light but with a faint edge that didn’t quite match the usual banter. As much as he enjoyed Jayce’s company, there were moments when retreating felt like a necessity—tonight was one of those moments.

He stepped back, nodding to his friend. “Enjoy your evening. I’ll be heading back to my room.”

Jayce raised an eyebrow, a grin spreading across his face. “No mysterious rendezvous tonight?”

Viktor hesitated, the question lingering in the air. For a moment, he considered coming clean—acknowledging what had been weighing on him. But instead, he gave a nonchalant shrug, masking the flicker of unease.

“I think I’ve had enough socializing for one night,” he replied, his voice calm but carrying an undertone of ambiguity.

With that, he turned and began walking away, leaving Jayce and Mel behind. The cool air felt sharper now, and Viktor found himself taking a longer route back, weaving through the quieter parts of the campus. On a whim—or perhaps out of habit—he let his feet carry him toward the science lab.

As he passed through the corridor, his eyes caught a glimpse of movement. You were there, slinging a bag over your shoulder, the edges stuffed with notes spilling out. You looked like you were wrapping up your study session for the evening.

“And what is a pretty girl such as yourself doing here all alone at this hour?” Viktor’s attempt at charm came out more slurred than he had intended, but he smiled to himself when he saw your startled expression.

“Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack!” you whisper-shouted at him, clutching your fist to your chest. “I was studying. What the hell are you doing here?”

Before you could measure your reaction, your feet carried you closer to Viktor of their own accord. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes. “Ah. Celebrating?”

But Viktor didn’t respond. He simply looked at you, his eyes molten yet sharp, as if he were still trying to calculate something. You were about to ask him again but didn’t get the chance, as his lips landed on yours. You could taste the alcohol and cigarettes on his tongue, his skin cold from the night air—a stark contrast to the burning heat of his mouth.

Despite his coordination being compromised, he grabbed the bag slipping off your shoulder and swung it over his, then walked you both toward the lab you had just left, never breaking the kiss.

Once inside, he dropped the bag and his cane on the floor, cupped your face, and pushed his mouth deeper into yours. You pulled his shirt free from his pants and instinctively slid your hands underneath it, to splay them flat against his stomach. He flinched at the sudden warmth of your touch, a groan escaping him as a sharp pang of lust twisted low in his belly.

“Careful there,” he breathed against your lips, his voice rough. He could feel the blood travelling down his body, as his pants became tighter.

“Or what?” you teased, your tone playful as you tilted your head back against the door, granting him full access.

A shiver coursed through you as Viktor’s hand gripped your ribcage, his touch sparking a memory of your other night together. But this time, it wasn’t gentle or cautious—this time, his touch was filled with raw want and need, clumsy from the drinks he had poured into himself in wistful celebration.

“Or this,” he smirked, and the next thing you could feel were teeth clenching on the tendon of your neck, a bite painful enough to make you squirm and send a current of pleasure all the way down to your toes.

“Fuck you,” you breathed, tugging his head back by his hair. He met your gaze with a playful glint in his eye, his words slurring slightly as he threw the challenge back at you. “Fuck me.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and you didn’t reply. Your thoughts tore through you, scrambling to decide if it would be a wise choice. As if reading your mind, Viktor leaned back into you, his forehead resting against yours. He nipped at your lower lip, his voice a low whisper against your mouth. “I know you want to.”

“You’re drunk,” you said weakly, as if trying to convince yourself. Viktor didn’t listen. He drew breath after breath from you, his hands roaming your body with a dull pressure, leaving a burning sensation everywhere they touched.

“Did you touch yourself thinking about me when I came over?” he rasped into your ear, making you stiffen. “I do,” he added with a smug smile you could feel blooming against your lips. Your gasp was swallowed into another greedy kiss. When the kiss broke, it was only so Viktor could continue murmuring his sweet nothings.

“Whenever I touch myself, I think of you.” It was barely a whisper, but it rang in your head like a bell.

“I think of your bare thighs under my hands that night,” his voice sultry, as he gripped your thighs and slid his hands upward toward your ass. “I think of your sweet moans,” he murmured, capturing your lips in another kiss. “I imagine it’s your sweet mouth around my cock, when I come into my hand, thinking of you.”

You only gasped again, the obscenity of his words making your core clenching on nothing. Viktor walked you toward the nearest workbench, beckoning you to sit on top, as he pressed his hands on your thighs, rubbing them up and down.

He then undid his belt clumsily, his trousers sliding down under the weight of all the items he had stuffed in his pockets, to reveal his cock, still straining against confines of his underwear, sogged embarrassingly in precum and sweat. You gaped at him, completely transfixed with the raw want he had for you.

His hands shot back to your neck to pull you in for a colliding kiss, his tongue invading your mouth, your teeth clacking against each other, as he rubbed himself against your thigh, the wetness of his boxers soaking into your pants. “Please, touch me,” he pleaded pathetically, as if mocking your uncertainty.

It had struck you, how Viktor being such a hot mess somehow still remained the one in control. Your hand travelled to grab his cock through the material of his underwear and give it a painfully slow stroke. Viktor’s body almost bent in half pulling you down with him, as he gave you the most vulgar sounding whimper you had heard in your life, “Yes, fuck.”

Holding your neck with one hand, he snaked the other under the waistband of your pants only to gasp in awe. “Oh, do you enjoy having me all hot and bothered over you? It seems like you do.” You were so wet he had to spread your slick with a flat palm all over your inner thighs and pubic bone to be able to work his fingers with precision. And despite his current state, the dedication to the task was admirable.

You moaned into his mouth as his fingers worked you, your grip on his cock tightening and Viktor just wouldn’t shut up. “Do you like how much I want you?” he breathed against your neck, his length twitching under your fingers. You clasped your hand to your mouth, suddenly very aware that you were in a public space and if the two of you could be here, anyone could walk past and hear whatever was happening on the other side of the door.

It had earned you a scold, when Viktor pulled your palm away from your lips and kissed you greedily, whispering in to your mouth, “Don’t you dare.” He retreated his other hand from between your legs and you whined at the loss of his touch.

“Oh, no need to be sad,” he cooed mockingly, as he grabbed your bum to pull you closer and rub his aching cock against your core. You shuddered, but obliged, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders.

“Hmm,” Viktor muttered, pressing his face into yours like a huge cat. “Please, fuck me now, I can’t bear it.” Another mockery of affection surged through you, dressed in his lustful voice, framed by his glassy eyes, his eyelashes tickling your cheek. His hands, so grabby, so needy, groped you, kneaded your flesh, his desire on full display, burning with alcohol travelling through his blood stream.

Stripped of his defences, Viktor was ready to whisper any filth into your ears, only to have what he wanted. And yet, even though the touch of his hands burned through your clothes, even though the emptiness between your legs was painful and his hair smelled so nice, you managed to gather all your strength and say, "As much as I’m enjoying this... ah!" You gasped as he bit your neck again. "I think... you're too drunk, Viktor." The last attempt at evening out the ground was met with a chuckle.

"Ah, that's alright," he said sweetly, pushing his thumb into your mouth. "I'm better in a casual setting anyway."

You stiffened, your body going rigid at his words. What? You pulled back slightly, confusion and irritation flooding your chest. You glanced at him, your brow furrowing as you met his dazed eyes. Viktor, still too drunk to realize the weight of his words, tried to cling back to you, his hands seeking your body once more.

He murmured your name, his voice thick with alcohol. But you pushed him away, your breath catching as the reality of the situation hit you.

“No,” you snapped, your anger flaring. “What the hell does that mean? Casual? When did I give you the impression that I wanted something casual with you, Viktor?” Your voice was low but edged with fury, a tremor of disbelief beneath the surface.

Viktor froze, his expression faltering, confusion clouding his mind as he tried to piece together what you were saying. "I—" He cleared his throat, trying to find his words, but they felt like they were slipping away from him. "You’ve been avoiding me," he muttered, trying to hold onto something that made sense, pulling his trousers up in embarrassment.

“Because you are all over the fucking place!” you shot back, your voice trembling with frustration. “You keep dropping these half-confessions, these hints that don’t mean anything, and it’s like I’m supposed to just figure out what the hell you want. It’s not… fair, Viktor.”

Viktor’s chest tightened, panic creeping in as he watched you, unsure how to fix the mess he’d created. His breath came shallow, his hands trembling. “Listen, that’s not—” He swallowed hard, trying to grasp his thoughts, but they were all tangled. “I didn’t mean to... I’m not—”

You shook your head, your lips curling in disgust. “You’re not what? Honest? Open?” You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head again. “You’ve been playing me, Viktor. All these little games, these words, and I don’t even know what’s the prize, what is it that thing you are trying to win.” Your voice cracked on the last sentence, the anger giving way to hurt.

Viktor’s heart pounded in his chest as his panic heightened. “I—hey, I didn’t want to hurt you. I... I’ve been trying, I just... I can’t—” His words were a mess, his mind too foggy to communicate what he truly felt.

Sliding off the workbench, your face hardened with determination. “Get a grip, Viktor. Drunken slut doesn’t become you.” The words hit him like a slap, sharp and final, and you didn’t even wait for his response. Grabbing your bag, you slung it over your shoulder before turning on your heel and heading toward the door.

Viktor watched you, rooted to the spot, his chest aching with the weight of everything he’d failed to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words were stuck, lost somewhere deep in his throat. By the time he found the strength to call your name, you were already gone.

***

“Please get dressed,” Sue’s voice came muffled through all the blankets you were shielding yourself with. The party was the last thing you needed right now.

“No.”

“Please get dressed!” Sue tugged on the blankets but to no avail. She sighed heavily, as if bracing herself for something, then said, “You made me do this. I had to call for backup.”

“Darling,” you heard Hale’s voice and felt a hand being placed firmly on your back, which was wrapped in, give or take, four layers of blankets and clothing. “It’s for your own good.”

You groaned into the pile of blankets, curling tighter into yourself. “Please, go away.”

Sue wasn’t having it. She pulled at the blankets again, her voice an annoying mix of determination and playfulness. “Nope. You’re going. It’s a Halloween party, and you’re dressing up. I won’t take no for an answer.”

You muffled a sigh. “It’s a month after Halloween. What’s the point now?”

“You’re right, but Mel decided we couldn’t let the season go to waste. We’re fixing this mistake,” Sue said, her voice light with excitement. “And if you won’t go, I’m calling more backup.”

That was when Hale’s voice chimed in, smooth and amused. “Darling, you’ll thank me for this later.” You felt Hale’s firm hand press against your back, pushing through the layers of blankets. “It’s for your own good.”

Your tired groan was muffled by the blankets. “I don’t need any good, I need sleep.”

Sue leaned in, her tone softening a little. “You can’t just hide away. You deserve better than this. He’s a jerk, and you know it.”

You hesitated, but Hale’s voice broke through your thoughts. “It’s not about him anymore. It’s about you. Show him how insignificant he is. The show must go on.”

You frowned, burying your face in the soft warmth of the blankets. “I don’t want to, I just…” You trailed off, feeling the weight of everything that had happened. You hadn’t told them yet what had actually happened between you and Viktor—you couldn’t bring yourself to. It was too much. You didn’t want to hear what Hale would say if he knew.

Hale’s expression softened slightly as he sat beside you, his voice more serious now. “Do you remember what I told you? You are a king, and you don’t bow to anyone. Not to him, not to anyone.”

You remained still for a long moment, feeling the soft weight of Hale’s words settle on you. Slowly, you rolled over, sighing dramatically. “Fine. But I can leave at any time I want to.”

Hale grinned, leaning back against the couch, arms crossed. “Oh, I’ll make sure you won’t want to leave.”

Sue and Hale took the opportunity to help you get dressed, turning it into a mini celebration of the ridiculousness that was their last-minute Halloween plans. You had the red fluffy tulle dress from the theatre department that Hale had snatched for you, one that made you look like you’d stepped straight out of a dream. You were going as Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz on their wedding night, a perfect match of eerie elegance and chaotic energy. Sue found it hilarious to go as a Sandworm.

As they worked on your makeup and hair, you finally took a deep breath, ready to push aside the weight of the past few days. You weren’t doing this for Viktor, but for yourself. The night was yours to own.

You gave each other a once-over: Sue looked ridiculous in her striped onesie with a foam sandworm hat on her head, but she clearly loved it. Hale was a completely pimped-up and glamoured version of Beetlejuice. And you? You looked like a beautiful, cursed ballerina. Perfect. After taking one last selfie together, the three of you marched toward the theatre halls.

It was the most impromptu party you’d ever seen, but somehow Mel made it work. The catchphrase was We’ve got a Halloween party at home, which played perfectly with the mix of decorations from all seasons: sheet ghosts wearing flower crowns, bats cut out from pink glittery plastic sheets, and, instead of cobwebs, toilet paper scattered across the ceiling of the very same room where Viktor had kissed you for the first time. Trash Halloween.

Mel caught you immediately and pulled you into a tight hug, whispering in your ear, “I don’t know what this jerk has done, but I stand with you.” Her hug tightened even further as she added, “I’m so, so happy you’ve made it. I haven’t seen you in ages, and you look… fucking amazing.”

“Thanks, Mel,” you laughed despite yourself. “You’re not so bad yourself.” You waggled your eyebrows at her. She was dressed as Mia Wallace, which could only mean Jayce...

"You can tell a lot about a man by the way he carries himself. Style isn’t just about clothes; it’s an attitude,” Jayce tried so hard to make a Vincent Vega impression, he ended up laughing at himself. He hugged you and boomed, “I love your costumes, guys! But… who are you dressed as, sweet Sue?”

“I’m a Sandworm!” Sue squeaked, giving them a little twirl, which made the entire group laugh. Hale hooked his shoulder over yours as he marched you toward the bar, bridal style. You had to flatten your skirts and bend forward to be able to reach the bartender when a familiar voice startled you.

“You’ve been ignoring my texts,” Viktor said, turning toward you in his seat. He was wearing a vintage tweed suit and a pair of thick square glasses.

“Are you… dressed as an old man?” you chuckled reluctantly. “And you know, I thought texting doesn’t exactly align with your whole… casual thing.”

“I’m not just any old man. I am Carl Fredricksen.” Seeing that you didn’t catch the bait, he went straight to the point. “Can we talk?”

“You’re not very good at talking, and I’m here to have a good time,” you said, paying for your drink and getting ready to march off. You were dying to talk to him, to yell at him, slap him, and be all sorts of dramatic about it, but Hale had put so much care into doing your makeup that you didn’t want to ruin it within the first ten minutes of your arrival.

You were about to walk away with grace, but you couldn’t help yourself. “I know damn well you are a sweet old man from Up, and let me tell you, you should be dressed as something far more vile.” Despite the venomous message, your voice was soft, and Viktor smiled weakly.

The music was a mix of musicals, classic pop hits, and songs from films, so the royal couple, Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega, could have their iconic dance. Mel had definitely planned to boost your ego, weaving songs from Hamilton into the playlist so you and Hale could have a repeat of your five minutes of fame.

You got so stupidly drunk, you wouldn’t leave the dance floor, and Hale kept bringing you refills of cocktails you would inevitably spill anyway. He wouldn’t leave your side for a moment that evening and danced with you through every tear and sorrow that showed on your face when you glanced over at the bar toward Viktor. You reached your peak when someone put on a slow song for a change. Casual.

You gave one of your exaggerated performances, the crowd dispersing around you to make more space for the show. You were singing your lungs out, obscene lyrics falling from your lips, all dedicated to the bane of your existence. When the song finished, the only thing you could do was laugh. You laughed at yourself and at the stupidity of the situation—there you were, in the arms of your best friend, serenading the man sitting at the bar in the costume of a romantic old man from an animated film.

Jayce slumped drunkenly next to Viktor, elbowing him as both of their gazes followed you on the dance floor. “What’s going on there?” he asked, his gelled hair falling into his eyes.

“I… have royally fucked up.”

“Are you... telling me you can’t get the girl you want?” Jayce slurred, giving Viktor a sideways glance. He was clearly tipsy but still managing to follow the conversation, sort of.

“Nope. She’s been using her scary dog privilege the entire evening.” Viktor’s voice dropped into a mock whine, looking dramatically toward you and Hale.

“Wait… are you telling me you want the girl?” Jayce squinted, pretending to be deep in thought. “You? Viktor? Want her?” He pointed vaguely in your direction.

“Fuck yes, I want the girl. Look at her,” Viktor gestured wildly, his finger almost hitting a random passerby. “She’s everything.” His eyes were glued to you as you spun across the dance floor. “And the way she laughs... it’s like, it makes me—” Viktor suddenly slapped a hand to his chest, his face contorting. “I can’t even explain it. I am fucked, Jayce.”

Jayce raised an eyebrow, still processing Viktor’s emotional spill. “Shit, man. Do you need anything?”

“Not from you, I don’t,” Viktor laughed bitterly, his slouch deepening as he leaned back in his chair. “It’s fine. I prefer her sober anyway.” He waved a hand dismissively. “You know, it’s just that... when she’s sober, I feel like she might actually like me back. Not... whatever this is.” He gestured to the mess of alcohol in his hand.

“Wait, hold on.” Jayce leaned closer, trying to follow Viktor’s emotional rollercoaster. “You actually want her to like you? Like, for real?”

Viktor sighed, looking like he’d just realised he might be the one on the wrong side of drunk. “Yeah, Jayce. Do you think I was just playing some game? No. This… this was real. But I’ve made such an ass of myself, there’s no way she’d ever—” He stopped himself, as if hearing his own words was sobering him up slightly. “Shit. I am fucked.”

Jayce, now trying not to laugh, leaned back and patted Viktor on the shoulder. “Well, if you ever needed to not fuck something up... now would have been a good time.”

“I know!” Viktor groaned, his hands going up in the air. “But I’ll figure it out. I always do. I just... needed her to see that I wasn’t as bad as I made myself out to be. That I—” Viktor paused, his face lighting up. “I was actually a catch, Jayce.”

Jayce burst into laughter, then immediately sobered up as Viktor gave him a serious look. “What?” he asked between chuckles. “That’s like... the worst plan I’ve heard of.”

Viktor stared at him blankly for a second. “Okay, yeah. Maybe not the best pitch. But she’d get it. Eventually. I just needed to stop being a fuck-up for... like, five minutes.”

“Man, you got a real gift for pushing people away and then wondering why they stayed gone,” Jayce said, grinning widely. He took a swig of his drink.

Viktor glared at him, trying to muster some dignity, but he couldn’t help laughing at his own ridiculousness. “Hey, I was just saying, I could be that guy. For her? I could be... I could be that guy who actually didn’t screw everything up.”

Jayce patted him on the back with exaggerated force, nearly knocking him over. “I am gonna need a drink to survive this,” he muttered, eyes still on you as you twirled again. “So, what was the plan? Were you gonna talk to her after this?”

“If she didn’t kill me, yeah.” Viktor grinned sheepishly.

“Okay, dude, slow down. One step at a time.” Jayce laughed. Viktor laughed as well, and they began a long debate on how he had fucked up, which ended with them telling themselves that they loved each other and a series of exaggerated hugs.

Before Viktor could get to his grand plan, Hale had already carried you over his shoulder safely to your bed, your heels dangling from your hands as you giggled all the way through campus. He put your phone away on your desk so you wouldn’t see Viktor’s new text message.

“I like you.”

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/6/2024

people mad at a video game for being woke, i'm mad at it for not being woke enough. so it goes.

also i wrote a yeehawgust fic

listening

another addition to the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist, thank u charli xcx and billie eilish

-

reading

im still really annoyed with Retraction Watch for platforming a terf last year and then not doing any sort of sockpuppet damage control in the comments. since they got acquired by crossref they've done way less guest editorials. not to be all "stick to sports!" but stick to sports, retraction watch.

they did introduce me to this substack series i will be following with great interest about the rise and fall of hindawi. wiley acquired a paper mill a few years back, bc they seemingly did zero diligence, and then blithely ignored the problem for two years before being forced to do the single largest retraction of papers in scientific publishing history, somewhere above ten thousand articles because it is STILL ONGOING.

i do love following various retractions bc i like seeing what finally made someone go "wait a minute", and, as i have just written in a cover letter, "I studied astronomy and have held several data jobs because I’m fascinated with how and why systems work and fail..."

-

watching

my best friend has decided while i'm at her home in the evenings eating her food and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i am fed tiny bits of mushed up banana by hand by her one-year-old), our new project is watching all the xmen movies. i have no particular desire to do this or special affinity for the xmen, and i would like to keep eating very good texmex and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i play hot wheels with the five-year-old). this sounds so super bitchy of me but it's hard to convey that these are essentially on for background noise.

saw the first two. the two things i know about them are that hugh jackman is in them and they're at the statue of liberty in one

-

playing

an ideologically baffling little environmental game free in the epic store this week, LumberJack. this is on PC and Switch for $13, which is far more money than the playtime anyone can get out of this game. tiny tiny tiny little Spain-headquartered studio without an active website, it looks like one guy hired out to make this and two more games and then went back to single-dev projects. i can respect that!

steam reviewers are mad at this game for being woke, and i'm mad at it for being woke in a very strange way. your one mechanic, as a bear, is swinging a big axe to remove cars and trailer offices and portapotties and various garbage from the landscape.

i wish the movement and look controls are inverted, and i wish they weren't, or at least had an option to make them normal. i know Why this isn't a mobile game (can't monetize something with twoish hours of gameplay and twenty levels) but it's a very straightforward and simple game that would translate very well to mobile. much like donut county.

now for being picky about the political mindset of the developers: as much fun as it is to be a bear swinging an axe around, lumberjacks are not the people i associate with wild preservation movements.

saving the land and turning it back into pristine and perfect land for wild animals in this game looks like erasing every hint of human activity from a site and turning it into sheer recreational use. many levels are heavily polluted, but some can definitely be read as recycling centers. im confused by the erasing every hint of humans in early levels, and then this level where you break down a radio station, slap the host with your axe, and she turns into a park ranger who starts gardening and taking care of chickens?

i don't think that removing all the traces of people from the landscape will magically fix everything, nor do i think simply being in unspoiled wilderness will magically fix me.

there's a golfing level where you whack bombs into various small buildings. i think golfing to save the environment is a strange choice to make for designing a game.

i also briefly thought this bird in every level was an extinct ivory-billed woodpecker, which was a little alarming bc there are some real nutjobs out there with very strong beliefs about this bird and government overreach and how much the government is lying to you about the extinctness of various animals.

i stopped playing about halfway through bc i was not having fun and found the underlying environmental message a little confused. they've managed to sell at least 10k units which is...not very good. i am not surprised this is free on epic, and i wonder what their payout for that was. would not be surprised if they negotiated a payment to their nonprofit partner ecologi as part of that.

-

making

yeehawgust fill! i have another bitchy blond babygirl!

what the fuck is the prisoner? cult 60s british spy tv. with all the surreality and anxieties about the cold war and midcentury psychological horror you could possibly want

He’d been drugged enough times to recognize the splitting migraine rapidly galloping down his neurons. “Where am I?” He fought down the taste of bile (ketamine? xylazine, by the aftertaste) and the rising panic. Oddly enough, the migraine was always worse with veterinary sedatives. One would think a mind would adapt to nearly three hundred years of irregular drugging and constant experiments. One’s body had adapted and ghoulified, but in equally unhelpful ways. The tycoon flickered, approximating an appraising blink. “This meeting has been a long time coming, hasn't it? You've come a long ways, literally and, I suspect, figuratively as well. You’re in the Free Economic Zone of New Vegas.” They’d pretended the prisons were so many different places: across the Continent, in various parts of London, up and down and all around the East Coast of these wretched States. Rarely this far west, aside from the awful escapade in the faux pre-War Western town. “What do you want?” He managed to swing his ankles off the saddle (also pre-War? Heavily used. It certainly wasn’t his, the equestrian event had always been his worst event in the pentathalon) and jolted what felt like every half-dead nerve in his half-dead body.

[fromevertonow]

This is a paper I wrote for one of my courses about media and materiality. I will use any excuse to write on The Hunger Games. My instructor actually liked it, asking why I didn't write anything on Snow lmao. Maybe for part two, David. Don't encourage me. I also want to say that the responses on my post regarding the names in THG helped so fucking much. Thank you to those people who interacted with that post!

Disclaimer: this assignment was meant to be informal for us so we wouldn't feel too overwhelmed with the studyload, so there is some non-academic register in here.

Panem et Circenses: The Forecast of a Mass Culture Storm

In a world long ago, the Roman poet Juvenal critiqued the people of Rome for discarding their responsibilities as citizens. While Sejanus tried to overthrow the Emperor Tiberius, Juvenal claimed that the people only cared to lavish in food and frivolities, saying that “the mob / That used to grant power, high office, the legions, everything, / Curtails its desires and reveals its anxiety for two things only, / Bread and circuses” (Juvenal ll. 78-81). Juvenal’s phrase “bread and circuses” is often referenced in relation to “mass culture to denote a process of social decline” (Brantlinger Bread and Circuses 22). The Roman Empire had a method of appeasing the masses to avoid uprisings: keep them fed and offer them entertainment (23). Similarly to Juvenal who disapproved of this manner of ruling, socialist scholars and avant-garde artists criticized mass culture for subjecting civilization to this numbing of critical thinking (Brantlinger “Mass Media” 99). The twentieth century knows an incredible rise of technological developments and mass production of consumer goods which has led to several social developments, e.g. the blurring of class distinctions and an increase in literacy (100, 103). Although these may seem as positive effects, mass culture threatens to silence individuals into commodification, as happened to the Romans (Dubord 14). Juvenal had forecasted the enslavement of people to mass-produced consumable goods and, looking at contemporary times, it seems we are left standing in the rain without an umbrella. Yet, this is not the worst mass culture has to offer. A flood of dystopian stories in the literary world has predicted and warned us for far crueler storms, depicting oppressive governments that have gradually dominated their citizens through bread and circuses.

            One of these stories is The Hunger Games (THG) by Suzanne Collins. Set in a futuristic United States, renamed ‘Panem,’ THG depicts a picture of mass culture at its extreme. Panem is divided into twelve districts, each responsible for the production of a specific good. These products are the sole reason the districts are still considered as relevant for the Capitol, the oppressive government. While the majority of the districts suffer from poverty, the Capitol lavishes in the districts’ importations of food and other materialities. Collins depicts the duality of abundant, capitalist consumerism with the contrast between the riches of the Capitol and the scarcity of the districts. The Capitol has managed to keep the districts sedated through fear; they are coerced into complacency through strict regulation and the annual Hunger Games. Seventy-four years before the original events of THG, the thirteen districts rebelled against the Capitol but were violently defeated. As punishment, District Thirteen was completely obliterated and the remaining twelve districts were forced to send a male and female tribute between the ages of twelve and eighteen to the Games where they would have to fight to the death in an arena as entertainment for the Capitol. The twenty-four tributes are randomly selected and can place their name in the reaping multiple times in exchange for tesserae, a year’s supply of grain and oil. Households that could not afford food could make bread from the tesserae. Collins draws a connection to ‘panem’ in Juvenal’s phrase through the tesserae system which is a method for the Capitol to keep the districts dependent on the government’s supply of basic needs, like bread.

Juvenal’s ‘circenses’ is apparent in two elements in THG. The first is the Hunger Games themselves which are meant to entertain the Capitol’s citizens. Before the Games there are interviews with the tributes and various television segments. The coverage of the tributes has two purposes: to show the Capitol’s citizens how well-fed the tributes are in the Capitol, a kindness offered to them by the very institution that places them in a position of death, and to obtain sponsors during the Games who will send necessities to the tributes in the arena, e.g. medicine or water. The second reference to ‘circenses’ is the character Peeta Mellark. Peeta is the male tribute from District Twelve and the baker’s son. His first name is a reference to pita bread, and as the baker’s son, he is also a clear connection to ‘panem.’ Moreover, he once gave bread to Katniss, the female protagonist, when she and her family were at the brink of starvation. The loaf of bread symbolized hope and sparked a new motivation in Katniss to live again (Collins THG 37). His surname is a shortened version of ‘malarkey,’ meaning “silly behaviour or nonsense” (“malarkey”), similar to the contents of circuses. Peeta is not a seasoned fighter and his chances of winning the Games are low. However, the Games can be played either through fighting or entertainment. Peeta is incredibly charismatic and uses that to his full advantage whenever the cameras are around to gain sponsors (Collins THG 158). He is, like the Capitol, both a provider of food and entertainment.

            Where the Capitol symbolizes fear, Peeta represents hope. As an oppressive government, the Capitol’s goal is to silence people into complacency so they do not rise against the authorities, as the Roman Empire. This is the opposite for Peeta who, in the sequel Catching Fire, uses his likeability among the citizens of the Capitol to defy its very government (Collins 289). Throughout the trilogy, he has consistently used his abilities to both provide and perform for noble causes that concern the people, not the government. When Peeta gave Katniss the bread, he gave her renewed hope to live again which was more sustainable than the Capitol’s tesserae supply that merely lasts a year and is only given in exchange for a bigger chance at death. Peeta’s hope was free. THG serves as a warning for a future that is ruled by mass consumption and production which blinds citizens to the dictatorship they are governed by. Juvenal’s faraway world of the Roman Empire is not so far away after all, it has always been here and is gradually taking over our future. But, we know what is coming and we can prepare for the storm and find shelter. As Peeta’s character shows, there is hope, a possibility, to provide for each other rather than depend on authorities that prefer to see us as commodities, to use the government’s very own methods against it and become individuals once more.

Works Cited

Brantlinger, Patrick. “Introduction: The Two Classicisms.” Bread and Circuses: Theories of Mass Culture as Social Decay. Cornell University Press, 1985, pp. 17-52.

---. “Mass Media and Culture in Fin-de-Siècle Europe.” Fin-de-Siècle and Its Legacy, edited by Mikuláš Teich and Roy Porter, Cambridge University Press, 1990, pp. 98-114.

Collins, Suzanne. Catching Fire. Scholastic Ltd, 2011.

---. The Hunger Games. Scholastic Ltd, 2011.

Debord, Guy. “The Commodity as Spectacle.” The Society of the Spectacle, translated by Ken Knabb, Bureau of Public Secrets, 2014, pp. 13-20.

Juvenal. “Satire X – The Vanity of Human Wishes.” Poetry in Translation, translated by A. S. Kline, 2001, https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Latin/JuvenalSatires10.php. Accessed 14 Dec. 2023.

“malarkey.” Cambridge Dictionary, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/malarkey. Accessed 14 Dec. 2023.

[cha-melodius]

Getting ready to publish a new fic, so I'm just gonna yeet some slightly older WIP stuff from the last time I worked on the YGM AU and run away. Thanks for the tags @sherryvalli, @kiwiana-writes, @adreamareads for teaser Tuesday and @orchidscript for tagging me in a last line game; this does contain the last line I wrote on this WIP.

Alex is still tidying up after closing when Nora comes in, slings her bag into one of the chairs at the front, and sets up in front of the shop’s computer. In the two weeks since the Mountchristen announcement she’s been almost obsessively running the shop’s sales numbers, so much so that Alex had to tell her he wasn’t going to pay her any more than her usual number of hours. It hasn’t stopped her. When he’d tried to joke that he didn’t realize how much the shop meant to her, she’d given him a weird look like he was missing something obvious. It’s not like she needs the job; she only really does it to help him out while she’s working on her PhD, and yeah she’s bi but she’s doesn’t do much reading that’s not boring academic papers about statistics. He leaves her to her numbers and continues his usual routine, straightening stacks books and restocking gaps in the shelves. There’s something almost meditative about it, and as he works he lets his mind wander, as it usually does these days, to H and what he might say in his next email. He’s got a lot on his mind these days, and it’s harder and harder not to say fuck it and tell H all about his business woes. Surely they know each other well enough at this point. Every time he just about convinces himself, though, he pulls back.  Eventually he grabs a stack of books he’s collected—all copies of the titles that Henry had purchased earlier today, because the man seemed like he had good taste in books and Alex could use ideas on new things to feature in the front window—and wanders over to the front counter, where the staccato rhythm of computer keys is strangely absent.

tagging those who might want to share OR who might just want to read haha @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @celeritas2997, @cricketnationrise, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @14carrotghoul, @clottedcreamfudge, @indomitable-love, @stutteringpeach, @iboatedhere, @nontoxic-writes, @lilythesilly, @leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells

[astralartefact]

Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Extra Entry 00a - Final Fantasy 14 Endwalker 6.X Patch Series

Synopsis

The Gang Solves a Demon Crusade

The Gang Learns of the Messiest Divorce in the Multiverse

The Gang Ruins their Academic Reputation by Absolutely Botching the Only Interview Humanity Will Ever Have With Their Gods (Gone Wrong) (Gone Blasphemous)

The Gang Does Side Quests at the Other End of the Universe

i wrote this ages ago before dawntrail came out and forgot to post it but i still agree with what i wrote so have fun experiencing some hindsight <3

How much did I know before playing?

I'm playing this game since the end of Heavensward.

Did I like it more than I expected?

As seemingly one of 5 people with healthy expectations in this community I actually did.

Except for---

Since I liked it, here's what I hated about it

Eulogia. Fuck Eulogia. Way to ruin, like, everything.

Who wrote this. I just have some questions. I want to know if you ever once thought, like at all. For your own sake, dear writer responsible for this shlock, I hope YoshiP never reveals your name to the public for you already have a spiritual nemesis that will badmouth you to his absolutely non-sizeable internet audience.

Also, I guess searching for a Pictomancer glam in preparation for Dawntrail also has made me once again aware that the designs for magic armor in this game suck ass, you know I enjoy the subdued but still magical vibe of the art design but to be quite honest I thoroughly dislike most of the armor aesthetic. How are you guys, especially male characters, maining magic jobs with only like 3 glams that aren't long, ugly and/or feminine robes, I knew it was a meme but it's really that bad.

The worst part really is that there's several dozen good outfits where you can literally see the line where the top should have ended - only for them to still extend the cape all the way to the ground for no good reason making the entire piece look like shit. pls yoshi p just loosen the glam restrictions so you just have to have the class unlocked at that level to glam it onto every other class q_q that would take a minimal amount of effort and it would solve world hunger i swear it would q_q

What did this game make me think about?

The place of Redemption, Accountability and Forgiveness in our current age and its relation to our relationship to Religion.

And just so you're aware it's not the fucking God Exodus Story Line that made me think about any of that, no, that shitty story line has not thought a singular second about any of those points.

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

As much as I hate the story of Myths of the Realm the presentation slaps as always, the raids are gorgeous and Soken does what Soken do. (I'm value neutral on the Raid's difficulty or whatever the community decides to care about these days)

The Left Ending of Sil'dih with the tea table surrounded by flowers (i think it's the left one?) that place is so fckin pretty q_q and i love nanamooo

Outstanding Audio

Basically all of Myths of the Realm except for the Final Boss theme which I hate on principle because Fuck Eulogia

hurts bc dawn of a new era is was my favorite ff14 theme q_q

Troian Beauty in D Minor i don't think it's d minor

Favorite Character

KRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE does she count she's barely in it

Nophica with a Gun (the Nophica that wasn't ruined by Myths of a Realm)

Paper Menphina

My Hrothgar Barbariccia OC I wrote to be my wol's shard of the void

And I did like Zero!

Favorite Arc/Story Line

I liked the Void Arc, I know People are big mad about it but I think it's fine! I only think it should have been optional, basically exactly like Stormblood's Four Lords, a Trial Series with a few Dungeons in between - then it wouldn't have had the burden of leading right into Dawntrail (a contrast so stark they couldn't even have tried to smoothen the transition) and people wouldn't have expected Zero to stay immediately relevant too.

Also some of the minor-ish quest lines were cute :)

Favorite Set Piece

I love Lymllaen's arena, it's kind of simple but so effective.

The final trash mobs in Thaleia :)))

Really cool Area with interesting mob design :)))))

A glimpse of what could have been :)))))))))) HOW IS THE FINAL TRASH MOB AREA PRETTIER THAN THE FINAL BOSS ROOM

Favorite Scene

Zero giving Golbez the chance to repent.

Best Performance (I played with JP voices)

AEGISU OBU HARUONE!!!!!!!!!

every single one of the gods was great, but not all of them, if you catch my drift (get it, fuck eulogia)

German Localization Notes

If you know me you know that I think the German FFXIV Localization is better than the English one and it still is and it will continue to be. I gladly pass on meme-y item descriptions if it means that I can expect the translation to not just write whatever it feels like at any given moment. (also, as I have expressed before I can't stand english olden speech writing, thank god the german tl doesn't do all that)

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

I have nothing really to say, I'm just so excited for Pictomancer you guys, every time I think about it I'm flushed with immense joy. I didn't think they would do it, but it's real. It's actually happening.

I guess what gives me Hope about that is that Yoshi P didn't get too lost in FF16's Fantasy Realism, because drab fantasy aesthetics is truly the worst outcome of lore culture.

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

You see, there is this thing that has happened since the common consciousness has deemed that Shadowbringers is indeed that good and it's that people kind of immediately turned around to say, that actually, FF14 - WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE BAD BAD STORMBLOOD WHICH IS BAD!!!! - has always been good.

After all Heavensward had that one quest line we all liked, remember, and the one dude died and we all really cared about him, right right right???

And while you are allowed to picture me dismissively pointing at your copy of Heavensward while I'm saying this I don't actually have that big of a take over Heavensward, mainly because I'm not particularly interested in reexamining it since I'm still not over how wildly that writer fumbled FF16's entire narrative point for 'emotional storytelling' or whatever that ending was about, the only thing I will say is that People always bring up the death as this big meaningful thing that's so impactful and how dare you not care about it as if Heavensward hasn't had two other pretty essential characters die for absolutely no good reason apart from conveniently getting rid of a character that would be a hassle to keep up with or setting up character development for another.

Anyways, the problem I actually have was that middle bit, the text in bold where people feel this insistent need to point out that they do indeed know that Stormblood's story is "bad."

But we all know that. It's one of those opinions everyone already shares with each other, because it's pretty obvious. Literally everyone, even and especially the ones who still like it, know that the story leaves at least a little bit to be desired - because different from what certain people online try to make you believe most people are indeed critical of the things they like. A lot of people just don't feel like loudly critizising every little thing they have a problem with, especially when overall they're still enjoying themselves. Some people call it being fun at a party. And if you're constantly nagging, you're not fun at a party - it's not a safe space full of snowflakes, you're just a complainer and that's why nobody wants to talk to you.

It's not that insightful to see that Stormblood didn't quite do it. If you were alone with him in a room even Yoshi-P would admit that Stormblood 'wasn't optimal' or whatever he would say, he's not that stupid, he's just professional enough not to throw his writers under the bus just to bad mouth his own product. And yet there's this certain subset of people that really really needs you to know that the expansion where they cried because that one guy they shipped their oc with died is really really good and yet the other one that's split in half for no reason is really really bad - as if it's something that's needed to be said. As if it's Insightful Commentary we all needed to hear.

I will make this sound more dramatic than I think it really is, but I think the critical reception of Shadowbringers has emboldened the FFXIV community to take their personal (emotional) reaction to a piece of media as proof that a thing is good. I think some link between "I liked it" and "It is good" has been strengthened in some people's minds and some of those people have started to use that for bad by using it as a weapon upgrade in the usual endless complaining about things everyone agrees is bad.

Basically, This thing is Bad has become This thing is Bad, unlike the thing which is clearly Good because I liked it (and look, everyone agrees with me)

Except of course you can like bad things. The Game Awards nominated FF16 for Best Narrative.

And that just makes for repeated situations where people will say shit like "but it's so good because it's bittersweet" about Myths of the Realm - which, great, happy you had an emotional response to all of that - but that's also kind of the bare minimum you should achieve when you decide to kill off characters that are so important to the setting you choose a diety for your character before you choose a name. The Twelve Leaving being sad is Basic Empathy, to me that's not some kind of writing success.

Sadly whoever mangled this sad excuse for a storyline also decided to make sure the exodus of the Twelve somehow left less impact on the game world than fucking YoRHa:Dark Apocalypse and there you people keep complaining about it despite it being a cross-over storyline where something like that shouldn't be expected.

What I want to make clear by pointing this out is that the problem with that isn't that people like something that's bad actually - you can like Myths of the Realm, it's fine - and it's not even something more profound sounding like 'people become "too attached" to a piece of media to the point of being personally insulted when it's critizised.'

Because to that point I say a) of course people feel weird when a thing they like is being bad mouthed that's just a normal human reaction (you know, one of the things art is about, you generally create something to be reacted to) and I don't like how that continually crops up as a rebuttal to people becoming "defensive" over "something meaningless" (nice way to refer to art btw) as if growing attached to a piece of art is something to be ashamed of - and also b): people on the internet overstate the value and necessity of public critique. (not saying it's not important but some people seem to think only their critique alone is the sole way a creator can grow which... i regret to inform you that unsolicited advice is rarely as helpful as you would like it to be, even if it is "correct".)

I think the problem is that these 'criticisms' don't come out of a genuine "empathy" for the thing they like - unlike some people seem to have convinced themselves - because if that was the case maybe we would actually get not necessarily a productive discussion - none of us is working on this game after all (and honestly it's okay to stop pretending that somebody who does listens) - but it would be a more interesting one for sure. I can't tell you what to like (as much as I would love to), but I can encourage you to have more meaningful introspections into what you love than to blindly accept those tired talking points everyone is repeating at nauseam.

And with more meaningful I don't actually mean 'deep' it just means being honest to yourself and your feelings, even and especially if it is something completely mundane.

Because I think a lot of this is the opposite - this is people parroting common points about the thing that is popular to be part of the in-group with as little personal stake as possible - and by punching down on the out-group you can strengthen your place in the crowd, your social capital. It's bullying masquerading as 'valid criticisms', or maybe even Nerd Populism. if only we had an alliance raid series about that.

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

I would love nothing more than to 'valid criticism' all over Myths of the Realm - but that would take 15 pages of a Google Doc and I think down here is really not the place.

It's just sad to see the Twelve, Aglaia, Euphrosyne and 3/4ths of Thaleia be absolutely wasted for a shitty resolution that spits in the face not only of our beloved made-up history facts known as Lore but also the entire premise of ARR to Stormblood. But hey, at least it's bittersweet am i right

Anyways, let's Ramble about Ancient Greek Pronounciation.

I haven't had Ancient Greek in School (I could have, but Latin was already old and boring enough for me, thanks) so I had to scrape together how to pronounce Euphrosyne just so I can be annoying about it and as much as I want to say Oi-pro-sü-neh (I think English Speakers don't have the german ü sound, it's basically the same as in the french word rue) because it's much easier to pronounce, Ancient Greek makes a difference between Eu and Oi and I fail to understand how the Eu sounds no matter how many times I listen to it.

By which I mean, you can pretend it's You-froze-a-knee as much as you want, it's wrong and you sound foolish.

[iridescentnuances]

5 Movies I'd Show You

Thank you @psalacanthea for always tagging me in games even though I'm not very good at it lol

Okay so with this list, it's going to become pretty obvious that I am a huge weeb. I spent some time thinking about what non-Asian movies I could include. I almost came up with none because weeb foggy brain is foggy. But worst of all, it's really shameful that me, a Spaniard, couldn't come up with a single Spanish recommendation! I will duely reflect upon this tragedy.

So here we go, in no particular order:

One of my favourite musical films of all time, a gut-wrenching tragicomedy about a woman who desperately looks for true love in abusive men. Great acting, great comedic scenes, and when it's time to cry, oh boy does it make me cry. Used to hit too close to home. Can't wait to watch it again after some years.

Okay, when talking Wong Kar-wai, everyone always says how good In the Mood for Love is. I get it. But its sequel hit all the right buttons for me. A man obssessed with the past leaves a trail of emotional corpses. The past never was, as one would think, any better than the present. All that's left is picking up the pieces to try and make something out of the treacherous nostalgia of an unfulfilled romance.

From when I decided to watch each and every Cillian Murphy movie ever. If you liked Girl Interrupted or But I'm a Cheerleader, y'know, any movie about teenagers being committed somewhere, you'll probably like this one. Romance, memorable lines, great soundtrack and honestly, a worthwhile cute ending to dig oneself out of depression.

Hear me out. This movie, this fucking movie. It gets a bad rep for allegedly being too misogynistic and/or too feminist. I wrote my bachelor's thesis about this movie. Twenty-seven pages worth of paper just going on and on about it. I could talk for hours about the book, the adaptation, the authors, the script, eeeeeverything. If you haven't seen it yet in your life, you just have to. If you've already seen it, watch it again and open your mind to it. I won't say anything about it except GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING. A very controversial academic opinion, I was told.

The nightmare version of a teenage flick. This one might be my favourite out of Gregg Araki's "Apocalypse Trilogy". If I'm not mistaken, it features all of Araki's tropes: reptilian aliens, problematic bisexuals, at least two pairs of twins, impending doom, and homoerotic longing. It's funny, it's queer, it's horny, it's violent, it's a total freak-out.

Anyone who sees this and wants to do it, consider yourselves tagged!

[crush3dmary]

Question 10 for the fic writer’s ask :) I’m a sucker for behind the scenes content. For weltschmerz! And also #2 (for fic of ur choice!)

HEY! Oh my gosh i actually did a huge twitter thread with Weltschmerz fun facts at one point, I had it linked in the fic itself but then realized... it was kind of spoilery for people who might not have made it to the end yet, so I took it out a while ago. Anyways, fun fact, the entire reason I started writing fic again was because I got the idea for Weltschmerz. I replayed symphonia with a group of my college friends and we went "wouldn't it be cool to see the game from the perspective of a declining Tethe'alla" and then I went "hmm... I used to write fanfiction in high school... could be fun to pick that up again..." and then me and my college friends brainstormed like, the entire fic. I wrote the first chapter in 2018 and it was. Not good, lol. I showed it to someone and they tore it apart (not in a bad way, it was just my first time writing anything but academic papers in years) and then life got busy and I picked it up again in 2020 and finished the whole thing in 6 months. I think there are things I would do differently now if I knew how much it was going to blow up, because I really just wrote it for me and my friends without much care as to what The Entire Tales Fandom was going to think, and let's just say not everyone liked it (I've been subtweeted by a couple popular people on twitter about how much they disliked the fic, but that's entirely another story) but I still look at it fondly after all these years as something I wrote for myself without caring about how 'cringe' it might be. I'm trying to bring that energy back to Philosophy, which is my current multichapter project, because I feel like I got pretty caught up in what other people might think of me with every upload, and that's no way to live.

Write for yourself, fuck the haters <3 At the end of the day, You Will Know Our Names, won't you? (okay, that's a vague at the people who subtweeted me, but it's funny)

[ferindencadash]

twenty questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @samuelroukin 🙏❤️

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

14

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

78,977

3. what fandoms do you write for?

So far just Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and Baldur's Gate

4. top five fics by kudos

A Port in the Storm - Mass Effect - FShep/pre-embodied EDI

Blood and Flesh - BG3 - Durgetash

Stockholm - Mass Effect - FShep/Zaeed

The Crack in Everything - Mass Effect - FShep/Ashley

Stitched Together - Mass Effect - MShep/James

5. do you respond to comments?

Always. My favourite thing about fanfic is connecting with people. I've made some amazing friends through the comments section.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Blood and Flesh for sure. It's Durgetash hate-fucking so... 😅I think all my other fics at least have a hopeful/bittersweet ending.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

If you count the sort-of epilogue in the author notes, Stockholm. They fuckin earned it after the shit I put them through. 👀 If you don't count that, probably Cold Feet.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! Knock on wood, because I will cry. 🥲 I'm pretty careful with tagging, I think that helps.

9. do you write smut?

Almost exclusively. 😅 It's usually mixed with plot though.

10. craziest crossover:

I haven't written one yet, but I do have this incredibly stupid Mass Effect/Letterkenny fic somewhat plotted out. 😂 Target audience of one (me), right there.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Much like my identity, I can't imagine anyone wanting to claim that for themselves. 😂

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! It was fun but also incredibly stressful, so I probably wouldn't do it again.

14. all time favorite ship?

Shepard(any gender)/Kaidan/James. I could write essays on them. Ironically I have yet to publish a fic with them (though I have one in the works right now!) mostly because the standard I've set for myself with them is entirely too high. I blame PossumBones for writing them so perfectly I could never compare.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an unhealthy amount of wips, but I don't want to give up on any of them permanently. The one that I most want to write, but is giving me the hardest time is my FShep/Aria piece, even though it's a short one-shot. I think because it has almost zero dialogue, and dialogue is the part I'm best at. 😅 But it's such a good little piece in my head. I just need to get better at writing before I can do it justice I think.

16. what are your writing strengths?

As above, dialogue. It always flows the easiest for me, and I'm usually quite happy with the end result. I've been told a lot that I'm good at nailing the character voices, which is very important to me. I spend HOURS listening to in-game dialogues before/while writing scenes, until I can hear them talking in my head.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, I think. I rush too much. (I have the same problem with my academic papers) I try to slow down and add more detail, but I get bored. 😅 I'm working on it...

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I end up doing it quite a bit (if only in short bursts) because of James Vega. It's forced me to pick up Spanish again. I'm definitely not fluent, but I'm improving!

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Mass Effect. A Port in the Storm was my first piece I ever wrote. I published it just under a year ago. I actually just checked, and my first fic anniversary is exactly one week away! 🎂 I don't care if it's cheesy, I'm honestly really proud of myself for what I've accomplished in a year.

20. favorite fic you've written?

Stitched Together. I really, really love it. I wish more people would read it. 😅 It actually has started to pick up a little bit of attention in the last couple of weeks (just pushing it to my top five!), I'm not sure why, but every kudos that pops up on it makes me ridiculously happy.

I think my anxiety is officially too high to tag people today. 🥲 I always feel like I'm harassing people (even though I love getting tagged). So, please, seriously, if you want to play PLEASE DO and please please tag me (mutual or not) so I can read your answers! I honestly love reading these things.

[somanyfuckedupiftruebooks]

TMAGP8

Oh fuck liminal spaces that drive you insane. What does that remind me of?

Brutal liminality babeey I love it.

I wonder if any of these sources are actually real or if they're all fictional?

'Architectural hunger' 😘

Woah these spaces are disconnected from the human mindscape that's so cool.

This epsode would probably be hitting me harder if I had any idea what this place looked like.

Paused the episode to try googling it and couldn't find anything. Is it not a real place??

Hmmm. Empty spaces. Hunger. Hallucinating lights. Hiding from miasma. So far it's been feeling like most of these statements are combinations of a couple of entities, like they've become blurred with each other by travelling between dimensions. This one could be Spiral and Lonely? Fear takes many forms.

Oh shit no time for meta speculation there's a sharply dressed woman becoming you through an open door!! Run the other way my dude you have got to get out of there!!

'You are here'??

Yeah you should not have gotten in that lift. Terrible mistake.

Cool ghost restaurant.

Oh creepy they're all fake talking. And they have the same features! It's like in the Matrix when all the background chaarcters are identical twins. Or that Lonely statement about the tourist who gets lost in the featureless crowd.

'Stay a while' nope gtfo.

Ah!! They're gonna eat him!!

Yuck they're eating him alive.

Did Jonny write this episode? Reminds me of that game he played about the house that eats you alive. (Alex wrote it)

Oh yeah lol this was supposed to be an academic paper. Kinda lost the plot there.

Oh Gwen you have no idea what you're getting into, I wouldn't be so smug about it if I were you.

Uh oh, see ya Colin. Enjoy your mental health leave.

Where are Sam and Celia?

Gerry??

GG??

AHHHHHHH OMFG OMFG IMFNFGMFJF???????

IS THIS GERRY AND GERTRUDE

AHHHH HUSBAND BACK FROM THE DEAD?????? I DIDN'T RECOGNISE HIM BECAUSE HE SOUNDED HAPPY AHHHHHHH

But that's Gertrude for sure. I may not know my goths but I know a bitch when I hear one.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHSHAHAH

why are they living together what the FUCK

What is going on??

Oh Gerry is painting 🥰🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥺 he has so many he has to give them away

GRANDSON????

Wait does that make Eric Delano her son? That's insane. WHAT IS GOING ON.

YEAH GERTRUDE. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE.

(Also seriously what the fuck is Sam up to? Did he get this job just to investigate the Institute? Why is he so obsessed with it?)

Oh shit he was in one of their gifted kids programs. That's why he's so obsessed with it. Hmm. Maybe I would have less questions if I listened to the episode for more than two seconds at a time, but this is how I'm choosing to record my thoughts so.... no.

Gerry was in the program too??

Ahhhh he's so happy!!! I'm dying!!!

Please please please let his happiness be real and fine and good and normal and not a symptom of something terrible going on. Don't hurt me like this. Please. I need there to be a version of him that's okay.

I've only had cheerful Gerry for two minutes and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this podcast and then myself.

Why is he living with Gertrude. Why is she pretending to be his grandmother. Why doesn't he remember anything about the gifted program. Does Sam not remember anything either. Is that why he's investigating it. What the fuck happened to them when they were kids.

Gerry is so genuine and Gertrude is so obviously dodging their questions and hiding shit. Something's up. She's weirdly indulgent and playing along with him. She knows something.

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY BOY I WILL RIOT.

Big painting <3

Oh it was Celia's idea? What's she up to?

Ahahah she's investigating time travel and other dimensions. I wonder what that could possibly be about. Trying to travel back home or confused about how she got here in the first place? How much does she even know?

Podcast??

GEORGIE??!!

What is up with this episode and bringing back characters whose names start with the letter G?

Okay okay okay. Like. Our Georgie or this dimension's Georgie? (she's a podcaster in every dimension)

The presence of Gerry and Gertrude menas that this dimension has doubles of people we knew from TMA, so is there another Jon and Martin here?

Is Celia looking for them? Is Georgie?

AHHHH SO MANY QUESTIONS

But who gives a shit about that I got to hear a happy version of my HUSBAND hahahhahaha 🥰😘🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😬🥰🥰🥰😘

(Gerry and Gertrude's voice acyors not credited? Why would that be?)

[possessionisamyth]

oh no, i don't wanna talk shit about random re users or bloggers on this site because they're randoms to me, they don't matter and aren't a word of god like they like to pretend they are but play sly, i've been a subject to that game many years now so i know exactly how it works but, i'm not gonna go out of my way and call names people that act like they have something to prove and obsessively argue in favor of what they like but shit talk about something they hate and beat around the bush, again, like a sly weasel

the amount of self righteous assholes i've come across is too much to count but it is to be expected right? some people just love tying their entire personality or fictional characters and how and why they should fuck, how they should look like, how attractive they should be and how they should exist as a male eye candy but hey, what do i know?

if you want something specific, sure i'll be glad to share: it's the double standards and by that i mean in the case of re, one boring example, who should leon bang and where, anything outside of that don't matter much apparently. the whole act of disagreeing with someone's interpretation means you owe them your counter argument for why you don't agree with said interpretation because shipping is all that matters to some re fans. it's basically the weird prevalence of elitist mindset that keeps flowing through within this fanbase for some reason and u would think that it's something grand and masterfully written like i dunno, GoW or TLOU or even RDR but no, it's making a meal out of the omelette over something that might aswell just be a convenience.

basically the whole "i see ur point and it's interesting but i just don't see it as so myself therefore i disagree" no longer counts, u need to provide a deep dive lmao

Ooohhh!!! Okay, I understand.

I'll be honest in that I don't think there's any insight to be given on this concept. Had these same people chosen to dedicate their time into literature or film or any other art medium instead of video games, the arguments would be much the same except there would be written papers with actual sources used to back up their rhetoric. Look up the people still arguing about whether or not Shakespeare actually wrote all his own works, and guess what? You'll see the same style of preaching their word as gospel from a bunch of academics with multiple degrees.

You know what? I can't even limit this mindset to art! Scientists have argumentative essays too! People whose job it is to determine facts from theories do the same shit! Sometimes good things come out of it, and sometimes it doesn't.

It definitely feels more irritating when this behavior is prevalent around something you're simply trying to find enjoyment in. However, many times I have already fallen into the trap of wanting to "be the most correct person in the room", which has definitely made me act like a self righteous asshole. Sometimes it really is just about knowing when to stop engaging in a conversation. They can talk to themselves for forever. You can save yourself some anger and frustration by cutting off the conversation that fuels them to keep spouting garbage.

Also, Leon and Carlos should be together and everyone else is wrong but me~.

[forabeatofadrum]

For the ask game: 2 11 and 22

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

From everywhere, to be honest. Some things are lifted from my own life, like the River fic (lmao), or I see fun stuff online and I think to myself "Huh, what a fun idea", like with the Bakery fic I got that from a random documentary on TV about rich people in Dubai. Like, I am already thinking about a chocolate maker AU after I watched Safiya Nygaard's new video on "running" a chocolate factory. So yeah, I just look around the world and go "Let's fic this."

I mean, guys, I wrote a Glee fic about an author's acknowledgment in an academic paper.

And sometimes, admittedly, I just want to bend established tropes because I don't always like them. That's what I did with Myosotis, because I read some really good amnesia fics, so no shade to amnesia fics, but I just kept thinking "Yeah, but..... what if this didn't go this way?". I hope to one day fuck around with the soulmate trope for this reason, but I have no idea yet.

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I prefer to write in order, so that I can keep track of it more easily, but it is not a fast rule and I tend to write what I have inspiration for. So if it happens that I know what to write for chapter, idk, 10, and I am "still" on 5, I will write 10.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Most of the time, it goes like this: "Oh boy, I am so glad I have finally finished this fic. I worked very hard on it and I want to share it. I hope people like it to. Let's go to AO3. Ah yes, what do I need? .... A TITLE?"

So yeah, most of the time, titles come to be after the writing. The exceptions are multichapter challenge fics. I have published them as, for example, "Klaine Advent 2017" and then I ask readers for title suggestions. Some of the titles that I cannot claim credit for are It's about time, I'd cry a river just for you, Ljubim te, aap noot mies, Time After Time, all of Paradiso, A Grimm Christmas and The Naked Truth.

But uhhh titles I can claim credit for, and that I am proud of, are Center Ice (named because it is a time travel fic on a hockey rink), All the pretty things that we could be (Little Numbers trash no. 1 and hey, it fits the vibe of different universes), the Myosotis series (named after the Forget-Me-Not flower cause amnesia), Mendacious (I Googled a synonym for lying, cause it's about catfishing), Barking Up The Wrong Bakery (sounded funny for a dog bakery) and There's nothing ironic about show choir (because Simon and Baz are as dramatic about Glee as Rachel Berry).

[wink-wonk]

There is no catharsis like turning in a paper at 2am that is actually something you're kind of proud of writing

[obeymycok]

Things I’ve Done as Obey Me Bros

I’m kinda boring but I kept seeing videos like this on tiktok and I’ve been thinking about it lately. Anyway, cw like everything, too lazy to make sure I get everything specifically. Probably nsfw for Asmo and probably some substances for Belphie’s. This is aged from when I was like 10-present day I’m not that stupid anymore. Some of it’s funny and some is pretty personal.

Lucifer

Told some kids I was babysitting “I don’t care just don’t die” before going on my phone the whole time

Always saved my homework for late at night because it was quieter

Thought I was a literal god for like 2 years

Had my sister write the rest of my homework for me because of a blister, then erased and redid it myself because her handwriting was messy

Gas lighted my family into thinking I was still religious

Mammon

Put a $20 in the offering dish at church and got mad I didn’t ask for change 

Traded Hershey kisses for change with my cousins at Easter gatherings

Went negative on my account after 5 out of the 7 days I spent at a Christian camp

Wrote my name on a dollar so everyone knew it was mine and no one could take it

(Still) impulse buy when I’m sad

Leviathan

Disassociate daily to a fairy tail based world I started developing in like 7th grade

Set alarms in the middle of the night for anime releases and long timed harvesting in games

Watched a new anime episode/read(looked at) the manga the second it came out even if it wasn’t translated yet (piece it together myself based off pictures and vibes lmao)

Knew what Rule 34 was when I was 11

Woke up at 4:00 AM everyday before school for 3 years so I could calm my anxiety down and hype myself up

Satan

Pushed my sister off the top bunk of my bed and also down a flight of stairs (separate times years apart!)

Got so angry at a customer I went into the bathroom and cried for 15 minutes

Carried cat treats in my pocket for an entire summer and autumn because there were some regular cats on my block

Got permission from my dad to punch a girl who kept pulling my hair at school

Finished the book that was supposed to last the class a few months by the end of the school day and got the WORST migraine I’ve ever had (Lord of The Flies fucking SLAPPED I will die on this hill)

Asmodeus

Masturbated at a Christian camp with others around

Already had a crush by my 2nd day of working at my job

Got intimate with my ex thinking it’d make him take me back

Cried because I couldn’t find my eyelash glue and when I found it the inner corners wouldn’t stick (I was late)

Spent 2 hours evening out my eyeliner, decided I didn’t like it, did a casual look, took a single picture, then wiped it all off and called it a day

Beelzebub

Found a spider in my room but didn’t wanna kill it. It was too high by the time I had a cup and some paper so I just let it roam

Got legitimately upset because I lost a toad and didn’t get a chance to hold it

Spent over $40 on food and ate over 1/2 of it in one sitting (was gone by the end of the day)

Put some cheese in a bag and threw it on my friend’s driveway because we were talking about how great cheese is

Took too much of an edible because the chocolate tasted so good

Belphegor

Slept 14 hours after the first week of school in jr high

Stabbed an old pillow repeatedly because I was having a meltdown

Smoked weed for anxiety and insomnia, fucked my academic career but at least I was able to show up

Dug my nails into an annoying girl’s skin because she wasn’t listening to the teacher and held up the whole class (didn’t get in trouble!)

Woke up to my parents fighting and just went back to sleep

[darlingwhump]

Re-introduction

WHUMPMAS IN JULY - DAY 1

Hey pals! I go by darling here on tumblr, and I started writing whump a few months ago after lurking for 3-ish years. To start, I’ve been writing a lot of little drabbles and prompts, but recently I started posting my first series: Stem the Tide! 

I’m a 21 year old bi disaster who uses she/they pronouns. My writing journey began with Hobbit fan fiction in 2012, but we don’t have to talk about that here. Throughout high school, I was a casual fanfic writer and “literary therapist” to my friends. They would come to me with their fan fiction ideas or original stories and talk through plots and worldbuilding. I would even literally sit on FaceTime with my friend as she wrote and served as an instant beta reader. 

I kinda fell off writing in college in favor of the more academic paper. I began lurking on whumpblr starting around 2019. Around the same time, I started playing D&D, which served as a phenomenal creative outlet. This love for D&D tripled during the pandemic panorama and I began writing my own fantasy world. Push comes to shove, now it’s 2022 and I finally decided to start writing whump. I constantly create pre-bedtime scenarios in my head and half of my D&D characters have kidnapping in their backstory anyways, so why not? 

In the spirit of whumpmas in July, here are some extra fun things about me! 

My favorite whump tropes include: d&d/fantasy whump, magic whump, long-term captivity, pet whump, lab whump, caretaker new whumper, lots of recovery and caretaking, nonhuman whumpees, stranger caretaker

Things that I enjoy: Umbrella Academy, Mac and Cheese, The Boys, Our Flag Means Death, Dogs, Critical Role, Dimension 20/Dropout, The Owl House, Genshin Impact, She-Ra (the queer one), proper queer representation without any baiting or tokenism *cough* Disney *cough*

Fun factoids:

I used to sing opera in high school.

I was an International Relations major in college (just graduated two months ago! woot woot!)

My music taste is such a grab-bag. If you look at any of my character playlists you’ll see it range from showtunes to MCR to fleet foxes to y2k era pop music. You can’t make me pick a favorite.

Speaking of...I’m seeing MCR later this year and I don’t think I’m ready

I have a decently popular TikTok cosplay account where I have actually cosplayed some of the OCs I’ve written about on here....have fun searching for it. I haven’t posted in like a year lmao.

My favorite color was purple...but I think I'm moving into a pink era now? We’ll see.

I’m playing in a d&d game based on the Barbie movies soon and I can’t fucking wait

@whumpmasinjuly