#I WON'T JACK OFF WHILE WE FUCK ANYMORE

[danieyells]

Oh no, Eden NOOOOOOOO NO NO NO I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE I BLOW A LOAD IN YOU SO GOD DOESN'T PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH NO BABY NOOOOO YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITES NOOOOO

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

#27 with art if you feel so inclined! :) 🖤 please and thank you!

Sure thing!

Prompt: Kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap.

Warnings: Established relationship, divorced Art Donaldson, smooches

"Did you eat already? I'm so fricking hungry," You grumble, leaving your suitcase by the door and striding toward the kitchen.

"Yeah, I ate."

"How's your shoulder?"

"It's fine."

"Are you sure?" You glance back at him from the kitchen. "Ken said you mentioned that it was stiff."

Art doesn't answer for a moment, eyes sweeping across your face. You watch him glance even lower before he shakes his head a little.

"It loosened up."

"If you're sure," You turn back to the sink, cranking on the faucet to wash your hands. "Don't push it if you don't have to."

"I won't."

"How did Lily's uh—Career day go?"

"It went fine. C'mere."

"Her teacher was so excited you could make it, I mean, so happy." You shut the sink off, plucking up the dishtowel to dry your hands before turning to the fridge. "Like, jazzed. I know no one uses that word anymore, but she was jazzed. Did you eat already?"

"I told you I did. C'mere."

"She's always been the coolest kid in the third grade in my opinion, but now it's official. Like—Peer official. Like, blue tick, you know?" You eye the contents of the fridge. "Are you hungry?"

"I just said I ate."

"No, right—Sorry. My mind's like," You shake your head. "I'm trying to slow down and catch up at the same time."

"Baby."

"I'm all jet-lagged and just jacked up. Fucking hate conferences."

"Baby."

"Yeah?"

"Look at me."

You turn your head from the fridge, raising your brows at the sight of Art's small, amused smile.

"...What?"

"Come here," He laughs, holding his hand out. You close the fridge, rounding the counter slowly and eyeing Art with suspicion.

"What's that look for?" You ask.

"I'm not giving you any kind of look."

"Yes you are."

"I am not."

"I know that face, mister."

He chuckles, taking hold of your hand once you're close enough, tugging you down. You lower yourself over him, straddling his thighs and settling in as his arms curl around your waist. He leans up, sucking a gentle kiss to your neck. You bite your lip, shifting slightly as his hands curl in the fabric of your shirt.

"...Are we picking Lily up from practice tomorrow?" You ask as your mind races.

"Tashi's got her," Art mumbles, the hum of it vibrating against your skin.

"Okay, good. I mean—Not good like—I've got some errands to run and I have to wash my clothes from the trip. I don't wanna mess up her schedule."

Art groans, tipping his head back and leaning away. You frown, pouting.

"What's wrong?"

Art lets his head loll to look up at you, a pout forming on his lips.

"You've been at a hundred since you walked through the door."

"I've got things on my mind."

"I can tell."

"Alright—" You groan, beginning to lean away, but Art's arms tighten around you, leaning up and pressing his chest against yours.

"I missed you," He murmurs. You wilt a little, raising your hands to cup his cheeks.

"I missed you, too."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"Because I'm feeling very neglected."

Art grins as you break into a laugh, leaning up and brushing a kiss along the underside of your jaw.

"You poor thing," You coo, turning your head. He catches your lips with his, sliding a hand up to your nape to guide your kisses as you sink down against him.

"...Art?" You mumble against his lips.

"Mm."

"I...Missed this...And you..."

"Mhm."

"But I am starving."

"Pizza'll be here in ten."

You grin, leaning back to look at him.

"You didn't."

"Course I did." His hand slides around your neck, knuckles brushing against your jaw.

"You're gonna spoil me rotten, Donaldson."

"Or die trying."

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

#24 ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 with jack Hughes <33

I hope you don't mind I changed the dialongue request slightly because I didn't feel like making this a full blown fic. 😂😂

200 Followers Celebration Masterlist

"One more time please"

Even though both of you were suppose to packing for a little weekend getaway before the season started. Instead you found your clothes spiraled across the floor half sitting in the suitcase, while you and Jack were busy tangled in the sheets together.

It all started when you went to your underwear drawer to grab some bras and underwear to pack. But what you didn't account for was your boyfriend coming up behind you, distracting you.

"ooo baby pack the baby blue set I love that one on you." he says as he wraps his arms around you, making your back flesh with his chest.

"we both know if I pack what you want then we won't leave the hotel room." Trying to ignore Jack and pick out what you want for comfort and now what he wants.

"is that really such a bad thing?" he says in a deeper voice as he starts to leave little open mouth kisses on the sweet spot below your ear.

"do you not remember last time I listened to you and I needed all new underwear before we left Hawaii because you ripped all of mine." you reminded him.

It almost as if you can hear the smirk and gloating in his voice as he says "worth every fucking penny baby."

"okay if your not gonna pack the baby blue one. Can I have a fashion show with you wearing it please?" he begs.

A small laugh escapes your lips as you leave his arms going to your suitcase to continue to pack. "Jackey you already know what I look like in wearing that set."

"yeah but that doesn't mean I don't wanna see it again." he counter argues. Practically hearing him whine as he continues to beg, " please baby."

"or I have a better idea." you say in a slightly seductive voice.

"oh yeah." practically hearing the excitement radiating off of him.

"how about I show you what I am wearing today?" you offer.

"oh yeah and what's that?" he asks as he starts to close the distance between you both but you stretch your hand out to stop him form closing the distance completely.

"nothing." as you move your hand to lightly push Jack to sit on the edge of the bed. as he sits on the bed, his eyes wild with lust. Lifting up your arms, you take off your shirt to reveal that you are in fact not wearing a bra today.

Suddenly feeling self-consness at the fact that you let your impossive behavior dictate your decisions you attempt to cover your breasts. But Jack refuses to have any of that as he pulls your towards making you studdle his lap.

"no baby don't do that, I love just looking at you." As he removes your arms from your breasts. As he leaves feather kisses down your chest finally putting your nipple in his mouth and sucking gently.

"Jacky" as your hands for to his hair, lightly pulling his hair causing him to groan gently.

"yeah baby." he asks he makes a popping noise removing himself from your breast.

"please." begging for him to do something anything to help.

"how about we make a deal?"

"fine"you mumbnle, both of you knowing in this moment you would promise him anything if he stopped teasing the fuck out of you and did something.

"How about..." his fingertips leaving little ghost touches everywhere, from the valley of your breast, to your inner thighs, to the waistband of your thong, leaving you squirming mess. "I help you now, I'll eat you out until you forget your own name, only panting because you'd be too fucked out to do anymore if you bring that baby blue set I love so much this weekend." His lips every so slightly ghosting down the valley of your breast all the way down your stomach.

"fuck fine okay okay okay." You pracatically scream, even though you don't look up you know Jack has a devileish smirk on his lips.

"And then I'll be even kind, cause I know I'll wanna go again and I'll fuck you until you can't walk only waddling like a baby penguin for the next few days if you make one more deal babygirl." As he lightly kisses your clit over your panties.

"okay okay anything" you pant

"Let me pack all your underwear for the trip." His blue eyes darker now filled with lust as he watches your breath catch making your boobs slightly bounce.

"okay okay just fucking do something." sounding almost annoyed.

"what's the magic word." As his fingers hook into your thong to remove me.

"please Jackey please I need you."

"Of course baby all you had to do was ask." you can hear the cocky smirk in he is wearing in his face.

Not even having time to respond in a bratty way because Jack is munching on your pussy like it's his last meal.

[homicidal-slvt]

Your First Valentine's Day Together

-

MDNI

-

Creepypasta Head-Canons

-

GN/Reader

Warnings: None

-

Jeff The Killer

Forgot it was valentine's day and last minute grabbed something from the gas station. Thinks most Valentine's stuff is over priced and cheesy anyway.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Y/N." "Is this... A bag of chips..?"

Jane The Killer

Absolutely loves spoiling you and doing cute things for you, so there's a day dedicated to that??? Sign her the fuck up! She arranges to take you to a cute cat cafe and insists on paying for everything, seeing you smile is worth every penny.

"Jane you really didn't have to do all this!" "I just love making you smile."

Nina The Killer

Best. Day. Ever. She will be so excited to surprise you with a bunch of clothes she ordered online that's your style! Doesn't want to get any stereotypical things for you for Valentine's, only stuff she knows you'll enjoy.

"Ahhh! Y/N look at this cute shirt I bought you! I can't wait to see you wear it!~" "Another one???"

Toby Rogers

Is bouncing off the walls excited for Valentine's Day. Is VERY cheesy about it and probably absolutely buries you in every cute stuffed animal he could find. Will curl up and watch cheesy romance movies with you all day while munching on the chocolates he got for you.

"Y/N! Y/N!" "OH MY GOD TOBY IS THAT A GIANT GIRAFFE PLUSHIE?!?"

Clockwork

Teases you if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day, calling it cheesy and too lovey dovey. However secretly she loves it, but she's not going to tell you that- at least not yet. So, you're in charge of planning your date together.

"Oh really? You go for that cheesy crap?" "Come onnn! It will be fun! Please!"

Eyeless Jack

Jack doesn't get many chances to act like just a person anymore, so when Valentine's Day rolls around he wants to take the chance to just act like a normal couple would. He plans a quiet dinner just you two in his room, enjoying feeling human again. Just for today- you are just two people in love.

"Do you like the candles, Y/N?" "I love them. It's perfect."

Laughing Jack

This clown has no earthly idea what he's doing. He just straight up throws you a "Valentine's Party" like it's a birthday. It's sweet though. He's trying his best- even though he invited everyone so you two don't really get any time alone.

"Surprise Y/N!!!" "AH! Is that heart shaped confetti?!?"

Ben Drowned

Simply plans a gaming date for the two of you with lots of gummy worms. This really is just a normal day with him but he claims it's special because he won't hog all the gummies this time.

"C'mon! It'll be fun! Why go out when we can just stay right here?" "Fine... Move over."

Hobo Heart

Tries to plan something special for you two but has no idea what to do. He just wants you to love it! Finally settling on just a nice quiet coffee/tea date with just you and him. Cuddled up in the library reading books.

"Romance or Fantasy, Y/N?" "Why not both?"

Slenderman

Doesn't fully understand the concept of the holiday but isn't going to pass up a chance at treating you. He plans a lovely romantic evening in the underworld with dinner and wine. The man is a complete gentleman.

"Is this alright, Y/N?" "It's wonderful."

Zalgo

You want to spend Valentine's Day? With him? He finds the idea amusing at first but finally gives in, taking you out on the town in the underworld. Showing you off and buying you fancy clothes.

"Everything simply looks stunning on you!~" "Oh hush..."

Nathan The Nobody

He hasn't the faintest clue how to celebrate Valentine's Day with you but he knows he wants too. He simply comes to you and asks what you'd like to do.

"Want to just watch movies together?" "I'd like that very much, Y/N...."

The Puppeteer

Brushes off Valentine's Day. What's the point in something like that? You already have the perfect gift, getting to spend time with him! What more could you want???

"Pup, please!!! I just want to do something fun with you!" "This IS fun!"

Judge Angels

Takes the holiday very seriously, almost too serious! She insists she must make it absolutely perfect for you because you deserve it. Expect a fancy date and lots of dancing lessons, she loves dancing with you.

"Take my hand, Y/N." "You really went all out, didn't you?"

Bloody Painter

He makes you both some tea and you two spend a whole day in his studio. Laughing and cracking jokes while he paints a portrait of you, even offering to give you painting lessons. You just enjoy a lovely date full of giggles and messy paint.

"Aw, Y/N. You got paint on your nose." "Oops-"

Nurse Ann

She doesn't really talk much so she expresses her love for you through lots of hugs and attention. Quality time means the world to her so you two end up in the kitchen cooking together, after all a meal always tastes better if it's made with love.

"....." "I love you too, Ann."

Kate The Chaser

She doesn't exactly celebrate the holiday. She kind of just awkwardly offers you whatever she found in the pantry and hangs out with you for the day. It takes a long time for her to open up.

"Thank you, Kate." "..... No problem."

Homicidal Liu

He loves you dearly and wants you to always know that. He plans a beautiful picnic date at night, that way you two can gaze at the stars and tell each other what you see. Expect a dance in the moonlight, the crickets serving as your symphony. It feels like it's just the two of you in the world.

"This is so beautiful, Liu." "Almost as beautiful as you."

-

{More Content}

[marchswifey]

Tate Langdon’s NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He likes to give you a lot of cuddles and he likes to watch movies or play video games with you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes your tits and your stomach and on himself he likes his hair, its style and color

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He will cum wherever he likes, the most he cum on your chest

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly wants to try the role-playing game, the thought of seeing you dressed in a sexy doctor's onesie turns him on a lot

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is very experienced thanks to porn but he never had a real relationship before you (if we don’t consider Violet)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes you to ride him so he can see your boobs bouncing while you fuck him

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

If he’s feeling playful he makes a lot of jokes during the time.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it shaved for you but sometimes small blond tufts can be seen

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s romantic most of the times, asking if you’re feeling good or if you need him to slow down

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I feel like before you he did it a moderate amount but now that he’s with you he just shows up in your room when he’s feeling needy so you can help him

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He will literally do almost everything

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Everywhere in the house but he prefers your room since around the house there are the other ghosts who would probably watch you

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Literally everything about you, especially if your wearing anything revealing

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won't do anything you don't want him to do

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Doesn't mind either, but likes giving to you more than receiving. He loves getting to see how good he makes you feel and he loves that the faces you make are only for him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It goes pretty fast, not too hard though

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not fond of them, he likes to take his time and go multiple rounds. If you both are desperate he wont hold back, but it isnt a must for him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is open to try things and take risks when it comes to your sex life

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Since he’s dead he can go on until you can’t take it anymore

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Although he enjoys pleasing you with what he has, he can't deny wanting to see you trembling, panting, and crying while he abuses your body with toys

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases a lot like yeaaaa

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He tries to be quiet, but his grunts come out and they’re loud

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He would play Nirvana on the radio while you’re having sex

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I'd say he's average size 5 to 6 inches but he is thick so yeah

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Fault high once the two of you got close. He has a lot of pent up feelings to let out, so he's got about a 8.5/10

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Usually he doesn’t fall asleep since he’s a ghost, he lays on your stomach while you play with his hair, that's how you two cuddle

[lekkkkz]

Can you do a sub Jack Howl with Male Reader? I mean, we all just want to play with his tibbies, right? Like bite, pinch, massage, pull, anything really. And maybe slide our dick in those tittes too? And he would let out the cutest whimpers. And when you call him out on it being the tsundere that he is will deny it, but his tail wagging say's otherwise. Bonus Points we fuck him to oblivion. The faces he would make would be so cute. Big blush with tears in his eyes, tongue out. Hell yeah.

JACK HOWL X MALE READER TOP

《 Fuck tits, feminization ¿? (mention of precious only once) nipple play and anal penetration》

‐minors DNI

Jack is very sensitive in his tits, and more if you play with them, you tend to bite them when you're stressed, you like to play a lot, but who can help it? They are so delicious to look at, you can't help but put your lips around those big milkers.

Like right now.

You have your lips around her left nipple, while your hand plays with the right one. His cheeks are red when he sees how you suck, as if you could get milk from him.

His moans are so heavenly, music to your hates, you really want to fuck him hard against the mattress, but first you'll fuck his tits.

Your lips released her swollen nipple with a little "plock", you could see your saliva around it, really appetizing.

—Well honey, you won't mind me using your pretty tits for a while, will you? — he could only let out a needy moan in response.

Jack watched as your pants fell slowly around your ankles. His mind was off, so he didn't notice when you were already straddling his chest.

— Alright honey, now squeeze those pretty titties for me — with cheeks burning red she did as you asked, holding her tits together.

The friction around your cock was good, urging you to move, slowly you started to move your hips, wanting to go slow.

Jack watched as your cock came out from between her tits, the pre-cum ran down his chest and neck, seeing this scene made him stick out his tongue, wanting to taste your cock in his mouth, have your semen on his tongue.

Your eyes saw this, causing the movement of your hips to increase, wanting to cum all over her pretty face, moans came out of your mouth, from the sensation of her tits around and her tongue caressing the head of your fat cock.

The knot in your stomach was about to burst.

— Keep it up beautiful, I'm about to paint your pretty face — a moan left your pink lips.

Jack upon hearing this squeezed his tits more, and continued caressing your tip with his tongue.

You couldn't take it anymore and you let go, cumming on his face as you promised, Jack felt your hot semen running over his face and chest, his tongue licked around his mouth, tasting you, you were sweet, maybe because you eat a lot of fruits, especially strawberries, your favourite.

A satisfied sigh left your lips, a goofy smile forming on your pretty face.

—That was really cool — you said slowly, barely coming off your high.

You slowly got off him, taking a breath, Jack cleaning his face with the wet wipes you left near him, watching as you searched for the lubricant to prepare it, his cheeks blushing more knowing that he already prepared himself beforehand, so you wouldn't lose time to prepare it.

With a trembling voice I speak to you — No preparation will be necessary — when he saw that you were looking at him, he quickly turned away — I did it before coming to your room —

With a soft smile you approached him and kissed his cheek.

—You're so cute, baby—

—I'm not —he answered in response to what was said.

—You're a fool Tsundere— you said caressing his ears.

—No, stop saying that— He denied it, but his rapidly wagging tail says otherwise.

You moved away from him, to settle between his muscular legs.

— Okay honey, are you ready to be fucked hard? — your words provoked a grunt on his part, you letting out a giggle in response to that.

He wraps his legs around you, eagerly waiting for you to slide your cock into his stretched hole.

You slowly start to get inside, feeling her walls flutter around you, clinging tightly to your weeping cock.

Jack lets out a breathy moan as you bottom out, your hips flush with his ass, your fertile cum-filled balls crashing into him.

He moves his hips, already eager for you to destroy him completely, leaving his hole full of thick and hot cum.

Your hips begin to move roughly, leaving your caring side behind, fucking him hard as he wanted, the sound of slapping fills the room, hinting that a lewd act is taking place inside it.

You lean your body against him more, holding his hips tighter, fucking him faster, harder, he squeezes his walls more in response to the movement.

— Get ready baby, because I will fuck you all night, until I leave you full of my semen.

JSJAJAGSHD An apology for answering until now, I was really busy, besides procanistar, but hey, here is your request honey, I hope you enjoy it.

An apology for the spelling and grammatical errors, apart from the lousy english, I spoke spanish xdd

[daintylovers]

Champagne Coast

1.1 Pilot

Seth Cohen x Hailey Atwood (oc)

A/N: hehehehe I just loooovvveeee my stiles stilinski variants. this is an oc and she is ryans sister- twins! at least, same ages. I'm gonna try not to have too many physical descriptors of her, for all we know she could be adopted. hope you enjoy!

"Trey, what if we get caught?" Ryan was always so quick to assume the worst.

"Ryan," I started, "We won't get caught, but you might if you keep overthinking things."

"Hailey, this is grand theft auto. Real-life fucking grand theft auto, not the video game. Something seriously could go wrong." I just rolled my eyes in response. We had done this several times by now, jacking cars for parts. We needed the money, and of course driving around random cars was always fun. A way to blow off steam from the stress of everyday life.

Catching on to my facial expression, Trey slung his arm around my shoulder, "There's the spirit, Bambi." That was my designated nickname. It was a running joke, at first glance everyone assumed I was just an innocent little thing. It helped me get out of sticky situations. More than enough.

"Come on Ryan. Are you in? Or are you out?" Aforementioned boy sent a glare in my direction, willing me to change my mind. I just shook my head with a smile. No way out of this one.

One of Ryan's best qualities was his inability to say no to me. I was always dragging him into my messes, and thankfully he would always arrive with a mop in hand. Ready to clean up the disasters left in my wake. I could feel sorry for him, if I thought about it enough. But that's just it, I didn't.

If it weren't for me, we might be stuck living at this house, for the rest of our lives. No stories to tell, no anything, really. I can't live like this. And he shouldn't have to. Ryan was one of the good ones. And if I could find a way to get him out of here, he could establish himself, and pull me from these ashes.

"Fine. But," Here comes the ultimatum, "Hailey, you stay as far away as possible. You aren't getting thrown in a cell again." Oh, but it's fine if he does it?

All three of us had terrible track records. From fights to breaking and entering, the cops were our biggest fans around Chino. But now we had to be more careful than ever. Trey wasn't a minor anymore. While Ryan and I were each one way from juvie. Ryan had been on the fence for three months now. While I got my final warning just last week, for punching a guy in the nose. He had been trying to grind up against one of my friends, and she had repeatedly told him to fuck off. But to no avail. Ryan tried to hold me back, but I had slipped easily from his grasp, hitting my target so forcefully that his head snapped back and his nose was left bleeding and crooked.

****

Our target was a shiny, souped-out black sports car. I wanted her. I debated trying to convince Trey to let us keep it for a few days.

Ryan was still wary so Trey began to speak, "I'm your big brother. If I don't teach you this, then who will?" Then he smashed the window open. So much for keeping it for a little.

"I don't know Trey-"

"Hailey, get Ryan to get in the car or I will leave his ass for dead." Could have just told him that yourself. I wasn't Trey's biggest fan, but he got shit done. I admired that. Very resilient, the lot of us.

Ryan climbed into the passenger seat, while I took up the back. Situating myself in the middle, I had the perfect view and the empty streets we were about to race. Trey hotwired the car like it was nothing and we were on our way.

Except we didn't get very far before sirens started following us. Fuck.

"Trey pull over."

"Ryan- fuck off man no way."

I tried, "Trey, please. Maybe we can make a run for it."

Trey turned around to spat something at me, but swerved the wheel on accident, causing the car to smash into the building adjacent.

Kids, always wear your seatbelt. Especially if the driver is a fucking idiot. I flew from my seat, but Ryan's arm caught me and pushed me back. My head bounced off the seats. My ears started ringing, and I swear my neck almost snapped from the force.

Someone was talking, but I couldn't make out the words. Or the voice for that matter. But the flashing lights told me enough. I watched Ryan put his hands up, and look at me. He jerked his arms up a little and I got the memo.

With raised arms and my head spinning, I tried to prepare myself for the jail cell.

****

My neck hurt like no other when I awoke. One of the guards had been knocking against the bars, guess I hadn't heard him. He looked pissed. "Get up kid, Someone is here to see you." Who the fuck could that be?

With bleary eyes, I forced myself into a standing position. I held my wrists out so he could slap the cuffs on them before he led me to the visitation room.

Walking in, I spotted Ryan instantly. He was sitting with some older man, who had papers out in front of him.

Like he had some type of sixth sense, Ryan turned his head to face my direction, giving me a soft smile, happy I was alright. He was always the more worried one during this type of thing. He had a point though, girls are never treated the same.

Sitting down, he was quick to assure, "Bambi- you alright?"

I nodded, my throat feeling scratchy. He looked at me with concern, "How's your neck? The crash probably affected you more."

"I'm fine Ryan. Just a little banged up" I replied, voice sounding like hell.

I turned to face the newbie, who was watching our interaction like a hawk.

"Hailey, it's nice to meet you. My name is Sandy Cohen, and I have been appointed as your guy's public defender."

Having already thought about my fate all night, I wasn't feeling too hopeful. I just stared at him, with no expression. He didn't care if I rotted in prison for the rest of my life. No one did. Besides Ryan, but because of me, we would rot together.

Ryan asked about Trey, and that made me pay more attention. Was it bad, that I had forgotten about him? During my all-night freakout session, I hadn't once thought about how this would affect him. The only things on my mind had been about Ryan and I.

"Well, Trey is over eighteen. Trey stole a car, had a gun in his pants, an ounce of pot, and a couple of priors," He had a gun? "Trey is looking at anywhere from three to five years."

The man, Sandy, continued, "I'm not here for Trey. I'm here for you two. Ryan, your grades? Why is a smart kid like you in here right now?" Because of me. "And Hailey, you have community service written every which way. What, steal a car to help out the neighborhood?"

I couldn't help myself, "Something like that."

"She speaks." He laughed a little. I just stared at him. "Hailey, fighting? That doesn't seem like you. Ryan, truancy charges? Come on guys, why are you doing this to yourselves?"

Not receiving any answers, he trudged on, "What is your guys' plan for the future? College? Trade School? Anything?" This guy was trying so hard to remain hopeful for us. What a joke.

But- if we're really being honest, his questioning was making me a little sad. I had no future. Never really did. But Ryan? God, Ryan could do so much. I think I might be sick.

I guess my face cracked, losing it's blank expression in exchange for desperate eyes. If you looked extra close, my lip was sure to be quivering. If Trey were here, he would have laughed at me. He didn't take too kindly to emotions. Ryan learned that quicker than I did growing up, which is why his expression never faltered.

"Mr. Cohen, with all due respect, modern medicine is advancing to the point where the average human life expectancy will be one hundred. But I read this article that said social security was bound to run out by the year of 2025. Which means people are going to have to stay in their jobs until they're eighty. So, we don't want to commit to anything too soon."

Sandy laughed, but persisted, "Look, I can plead this down to a misdemeanor. Petty fine, probation. But seriously guys, stealing a car because your big brother wanted you to it's stupid and weak. Two things, neither of you can afford to be right now." Well, actually we can't afford to be anything right now- fancy lawyer ass. "We three are cut from the same cloth. I know it may not look like it right now, but I was once in your position."

I cut him off, done with whatever this was supposed to be, "And look at you now, hot shot." He hadn't expected that. Just a minute ago I looked ready to crumble, but now I was turning my desperation into anger. I just wanted this to be over.

****

Mr. Cohen managed to get us out, shortly after. Now the sun was blaring down on us. I had Ryan on one side, and Mr. Cohen on the other.

"My office will be in contact to remind you of your court date."

"Got it," Ryan answered, as our mother's car screeched up to us.

She stumbled out and thrust her poorly manicured finger into my face. "Unbelievable! This is the kind of family I got. Pathetic!"

Mr. Cohen looked like he was the one getting publically berated. "Ms. Atwood? My name is Sandy Cohen. I am Ryan and Hailey's attorney."

"You should have let them rot in there. Just like their daddy. Just like their stupid brother." Then she grabbed my wrist, pulling me to the car, "Let's go! Now!"

I was already buckled in, not wanting a re-run of last night, before Ryan got in. His hand reached back, and I took the tiny card from him.

It was Mr. Cohen's card.

****

Once back at the house, a pit of dread formed in my gut.

Mom had already poured herself another drink, before she turned her attention onto us, "I can't do this anymore."

"I'm sorry Mom," I answered almost immediately. I was always the one apologizing first. I hated myself for it, yet every time I couldn't help myself. The Bambi nickname was more accurate than most people knew. Deep down, I desperately craved some sort of parental figure's love. Dad left, and Mom only cared when it benefited her.

"I want you out! Both of you."

"What?" I stuttered, tears springing to my eyes immediately. Hearing my wavering voice, Ryan was quick to grasp my hand, assuring me we would be fine. She didn't mean it. She never meant it. But the what-ifs always pestered me.

"Come on Mom, where do you expect us to go?"

Her boyfriend answered for her, "You heard her. Out! Now!"

Ryan was pissed, all of mom's boyfriend always treated us like shit. "This isn't your house, man."

"Oh, you think you're a tough guy, huh?"

Ryan's grasp on my hand tightened, and then he dropped it.

"Both of you, stop it." Mom tried, weakly.

But Ryan couldn't help himself, "Why don't you get the fuck out and stop freeloading off our mom."

The guy punched Ryan square in the nose, so hard that my brother stumbled back into me. I saw red.

I stepped out from behind Ryan and went to make my mark, but the guy was quick. He caught my fist in the air, twirling my arm around behind my back, then shoved me to the ground. My lip caught the corner of the side table, and I felt blood start to fill my mouth.

I felt someone lift me from the floor, knowing Ryan was the only one who would touch me after that. If I thought my head hurt before, then this was hell on earth.

We were out the door in minutes. Making quick to get the hell out of dodge.

****

No one wanted to house us. Ryan tried everyone we knew. I tried everyone and their mothers, and yet all we got was rejection. I had one last try, and my money dried up. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out the card we received just hours beforehand.

How did it get this fucked, so fast?

I showed the card to Ryan who just nodded, what other choice did we have. Sure the park benches were always an option, but after last time? No way.

Mr. Cohen was the only one to pick up.

****

The house we pulled up to was something straight out of a movie. I didn't even realize people actually lived like this. Talk about growing up on the wrong side of the tracks.

We were just about to go inside before Mr. Cohen stopped us and told us to wait just a little.

Not having any other options we nodded our heads.

Ryan started walking down the driveway, pulling his pack of cigs from his jeans pockets. I followed him down, waiting for him to finish lighting up.

Once he took his first puff, he looked down at my puppy dog eyes. He smoked but hated it when I did it. But I guess he was feeling sorry for me because he handed me his pack.

He turned his gaze ahead of him, so I took one out. Then after a second thought, I took a few more out, hiding them in my jacket pocket.

"Put them back." He chided.

Damn, I thought I was safe. I put most of them back, keeping an extra one. He turned and gave me a look, not having my antics.

"Please, Ryan. Just this once."

"You're getting your once right now," He said, sneaking his hand into the pocket to retrieve his stolen goods. Then he offered me the light and allowed me a taste of heaven.

Looking up, I spotted a girl across us. She was staring at Ryan. Of course, she was staring at Ryan.

Feeling a little out of place, I made my way up the driveway again. These rich people need to lock up their homes more carefully.

I made my way through the backyard, careful not to fall into the gigantic fucking pool in the middle. If I had a house like this, I would swim every night.

I continued snooping around and noticed the back door to the house was also unlocked. I stubbed out the rest of my cigarette and made my way inside.

Making my way around the corner, I was caught by the owners. And Ryan.

"There she is, girl of the hour. Thank you for gracing us with your presence." Mr. Cohen joked, while his wife looked like her head might pop off at any minute.

Sheepishly, I waved my hand and made my way to stand next to Ryan.

"You must be Hailey," the woman said, offering her hand. I shook it while nodding my head. "Great, well, you two will be staying in the pool house. Which I'm sure you have already found." Touche.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cohen." Ryan and I said in unison like the Shinning Twins.

The rest of the night was spent in said pool house. I had wanted to keep wandering, but Ryan wouldn't allow it. So instead we both tried sleeping, tried being the keyword.

****

I woke before Ryan did. Odd, because normally it was the other way around.

Tip-toeing around his sleeping form, I successfully exited the pool house.

I wasn't alone for long before, I heard a slight shriek. Looking inside the house, I saw two doe eyes staring back at me. Then I let out my own shriek. Who the hell is that?

He was clearly younger than Mr. Cohen, but I wasn't aware they had a kid. Unless they didn't, and this was some sort of looter.

Sliding open the door that separated us, the boy stepped outside, ready to question me. But I beat him to it, "Who the hell are you?"

"Huh- Who the hell am I? Who the hell are you? Why are you in my backyard?"

"Wait, you live here?" So not a looter, my first theory was proving to be more accurate.

"Yes!" He exclaimed, "But you don't live here. And you're pretty, but with the cut on your lip, I'm assuming you aren't here to befriend me. So please leave before I get my lawyer dad to throw your ass in jail."

"Well your lawyer dad, just helped get my ass out of jail. So I feel pretty good about my standing with him right now."

This made him falter, "Wait, aren't you supposed to be a boy?"

I just raised my eyebrow at him.

"Sorry, my mistake. I must have heard wrong last night," then to save his ass, he extended his hand, "Truce?"

"Sure, spaz." and I put my hand in his. We awkwardly shook hands for longer than necessary, before I pulled away.

"Seth, but close enough. Wanna play video games?"

****

We played on his living room floor for about thirty minutes before Ryan caught us.

"What the hell Hailey, you left?" Seth swerved his head toward the intruder so fast, that I was worried he was gonna get whiplash.

Answering the question I knew was on the brunette's lips, I said, "Technically Ryan, I didn't leave. I relocated."

I looked to Seth, with his big questioning eyes, "Seth, meet Ryan. Ryan meets Seth. You two are like opposite sides of a coin." Then I smiled at Ryan, mouthing "sorry".

"Hi, Ryan. I wasn't aware there were two of you." That last bit was directed to me. I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, you want to play?"

****

In the next few hours, I received a lot of information. Seth was in love with Summer, a girl, not the season. Ryan was in love with Marissa, the girl from last night. But most importantly, Kirsten, the woman from last night, was in love with playing dress up.

We were currently residing in her room after she insisted that Ryan and I should attend the fashion show later that night. She had heard that Ryan was invited and thought that meant I would want to go too.

Don't get me wrong, in another life, I would eat this up. But, I didn't have high hopes for trying to fit into this richy rich society.

Kirsten had loaned me a dress, light pink silk that dropped down to my knees, with an asymmetrical hem at the bottom.

"That looks great" she smiled. Catching her gaze in the mirror, I tried to smile, but it looked more like I was in pain. She wasn't wrong, it did look great. Probably the greatest I have and would ever look. But I just felt so empty.

No empty was the wrong word. I felt too much, like one wrong breeze and I would fall off the cliff I was on.

"Thank you for the dress. And for your hospitality."

She made her way behind me, patting my back gently, "Come on sweetheart, the boys are probably waiting."

****

"Welcome to the dark side." Seth introduced. We had arrived at the function, and I was trying to stay mindful of why I was invited.

The show started soon after we took our seats. Ryan's Barbie doll, the model-faced girlfriend came out first. Then a slightly shorter brunette bounced out after, and Seth turned to whisper in my ear, "That's Summer." Of course, it was.

He tilted his head slightly to look at me, waiting for my approval. I gave him a thumbs up, then brought my lips up to the shell of his ear, "She's really pretty Cohen. Watch out, I might just steal her from you."

Pulling back, I looked at him and we erupted into giggles.

Once we turned our attention back to the show, I noticed that Summer had already gone back. So much for Seth's five-second glance at her.

I turned back to him one last time, ready to mouth "sorry", but he was already looking at me. I proceeded anyway, but with my cheeks heating up. He just shrugged his shoulders, then reached out to turn my head back.

After the show, Seth and I managed to be separated from the rest of the group. After failing to find our group, we lingered off to the side.

"You know, you could have been up there tonight." he started.

I looked up at him and gave him a smile, "Really? I was thinking the same about you. I could totally see you swinging your hips to be beat up there."

His cheeks turned red, but before he could come up with another witty comeback, Ryan found us. "Guys, we should go to that girl Holly's house. She's throwing a party."

"A party? No- no I'm good actually. I like my house."

Never one to back down from a party I said, "Come on Cohen, what if Summer is there."

That got his attention, cheeks turning brighter by the second.

"Come on!" A girl from the back of the car ahead called out.

Looking at Seth one more time, I wiggled my eyebrows and started walking back. "Come on Seth, you heard the girl." Then I turned on my heel and got into the car.

Looking around, I noticed a certain brunette bombshell was sitting right next to me. She offered me her hand and I accepted, "I'm Summer. You're Ryan's sister right?"

"That's so close, you almost knew my name!" She looked embarrassed and I felt guilty. "I'm Hailey, and yes, I am Ryan's sister."

"Awesome!"

****

I had been at the party for about an hour now, and still no sign of the boys. Not that I had searched too hard for them. Instead, my eyes had spotted the booze fairly quickly, and that ended up with me dancing with some guy. He was cute, but not cute enough for me to stop thinking about Seth. I hoped he actually came out. He needs to experience life a little.

Parting ways with the guy, I motioned to the drinks and he followed suit.

Then I spotted just who I was looking for. "Seth!" I stumbled over to him.

He turned around fairly fast and caught me as I thrust myself into him, going for a hug but failing. He laughed and held me up, hands on my waist. "Hailey!"

"You have a boyfriend?" A voice interrupted.

"Boy-boyfriend, no, no I'm sorry," Seth said to my former dance partner. Who ignored the boy, looking at me instead.

I was bored of him so I just nodded my head and then turned to ignore him.

He must have left as I made my way to get another drink because Seth came to stand right next to me. "How much have you had to drink?" He asked.

"How much have you had to drink?" I tried to counter. He just laughed at me, before a commotion erupted outside.

Noticing Ryan wasn't near us, I had a sneaking suspicion that he might be involved in whatever was transpiring outside. I tried getting through the crowded kitchen, but between being slightly more than drunk and being shoved back by unsuspecting elbows, I wasn't making it very far.

Seth, noticing I hadn't made it as far as he had, turned back to grasp my hand, and then pulled me through.

Once we got outside, I watched Ryan get knocked in the face by some blonde douchebag who shouted, "Welcome to the O.C. bitch!"

What the fuck is happening?

****

We left the party quickly after.

Coming out of the bathroom, I felt refreshed after being able to take a hot shower. Ryan and Seth were sat on the couch by the bed, talking about the night.

When I came out, both boys looked at me and then held up snacks.

We talked and giggled for a while until each one of us had our eyes closing by themselves. Seth had been curled up on one side of the couch for a while now. Any minute and he would be out like a light.

I excused myself to use the bathroom one last time, as Ryan went out for another smoke.

When I came out, albeit I took a little longer than anticipated Ryan and his Barbie doll were curled up on the bed. Damn. That was my spot.

My only other option was the floor, or the side of the couch that Cohen fist rested on. I made my way to the couch, gently pushing his legs to the side, trying to get the pillow that he rested on. I figured the floor was a safer place than being kicked in the head in the middle of the night.

I was trying to be subtle, not wake the sleeping boy, but he foiled my plans. "What are you doing?" he whispered soft, voice clogged with drowsiness.

"Nothing, go back to bed."

He sat up, rubbing at his eyes the way a small child would, "Seriously, Hailey, are you sleeping on the floor?" he questioned.

He made a move to get up, but I placed my hands on his shoulders pushing down slightly. "Seriously, I'm not letting you take the floor. If you're going to be so stubborn, just sleep on the couch with me."

"Cohen, I don't want your freakishly long legs to kick me."

"They won't. Just come on," he said, removing my hands from his shoulders so he could scoot over. "See, enough room for two."

I debated it for a second, I had never slept in the same spot as a boy. But Cohen took my silence as rejection and immediately moved to stand. "I'm sorry, I- I should take the floor."

"No!" I was quick to interject.

"No?"

"No- just lay down again."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive Cohen."

And with that, he laid back down and opened up his arms. I crawled next to him, my back to his chest. He encircled by frame, "Is this okay?" I nodded in response, feeling the sleep hit almost immediately.

****

"Look, Ryan, Hailey, I'm sorry. I don't mean to play bad cop, It's nothing personal," Kirsten started.

Just minutes ago she had burst into the pool house, furious in only a way a mother can be. She didn't even question the fact that I was in her sons arms, only glaring at him and pointing behind her.

Seth got the hint and removed himself from me, following his mom back into the house like a scolded puppy.

Ryan and I made our way in shortly after, headed for the kitchen for one last meal before we were inevitably kicked out.

"I'm sorry, you two seem like such nice kids."

"It's okay, we get it," Ryan answered.

She was nice enough to allow us to stay by the Seth, so we made the trek upstairs.

Knocking on the door, I entered first. "We have to go," I told him.

"You're leaving?" he questioned, clearly sad.

Ryan spoke up, "We have to take care of some things back home."

Seth got up and shook Ryans out stretched hand. They did a typical boy handshake, before turning to me.

Seth and I looked at each other, unsure of what to do. I made the first move, going in to wrap my arms around his waist. I felt him stiffen at first, and then he reciprocated my motion.

When we pulled away he said, "Well, I can't wait to come visit you guys down in Chino. You can show me your world."

****

Our world no longer existed.

Once we pulled up to the house, Ryan and I were met with the shell of our home. Abandoned with a single poorly written letter.

Awesome.

"Come on." Mr. Cohen, our savior, to the rescue once again.

Back to exploring Seth's world instead.

****

A/N: holy fuck this took so long to write. but- yipee!! thank you for reading <3

[dyns33]

Fight Club part 2

Part 2 of my little Tyler Durder x Reader

Because of Project Mayhem, people tend to believe that Tyler Durden likes chaos. That he is the embodiment of chaos.

He likes to see others lost, but he is never lost himself. He is completely in control. He knows what's going to happen, because that's what he decided. An agent of chaos, following a straight line. No one seemed to have understood this.

So I was the only person in the world fully aware that if Tyler Durden was in prison, it was his choice.

It's a mistake to think that cutting off the head of the Mayhem project would stop everything. Even though he is the creator, Tyler did everything to keep his beast running without him. A brainless creature, space monkeys, who know perfectly well what their master wants without him needing to speak.

Plus, Tyler won't have his head cut off. His monkeys are everywhere, in the police, among the juries, behind the walls of his prison. He is surrounded by his followers, who ensure his safety.

If he wants, he can go out. It is obvious that he sometimes goes out, for a few hours, a few days, without the authorities being alarmed.

I know this because I know Tyler very well. Without knowing why or how after all this time, I know him. I hear him in my head sometimes. I feel his breath on the back of my neck, a presence as reassuring as it is frightening.

I know him, so I am always careful even if he is in prison, even if he is far away, even if it has been almost a year.

He haunts my thoughts. My nights. I can still see us on that beach, on the plane, in the house. I miss him, and that's what scares me the most. I have to be wary of everything, and myself first.

Jack is still outside, faithful doggie, psycho boy, who probably gives the orders when the leader sleeps in his cell. I don't think they're looking for me. I am dead and buried. But all it takes is one mistake for everything to change.

That's life. People. I'm not perfect. The mistake came one day. It all started with a heart attack on a bus.

Nothing weird, I wasn't even on the bus. Like every day at the same time, I had my coffee on a terrace, my only little moment of relaxation.

The bus passed the café. I didn't even see it anymore. I didn't see the man fall, nor the people around him become alarmed. It didn't matter to me in the slightest.

That was bad news for a federal agent, because the man who had just died was a well known space monkey. Big Bob. Kind Bob, a bit stupid, who continued to obey by traveling all over the country spreading the word of Tyler Durden.

He had seen me. This came as a shock to him, since he was the one who found my body.

It could have ended there, but one of the feds were obsessed with Tyler. With his organization. He wondered if Bob had been murdered, so he went his way, he took the bus, and he saw me too.

We had never met, but when he approached, I knew immediately why he was there.

“Everyone thinks you’re dead.” he said to me as he sat down. Everyone was Tyler.

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

He took out a Polaroid photo. Tyler loved Polaroids. He had quite a collection. I know because Marla talked about it sometimes, to annoy Jack. Intimate photos, all the people he had fucked with, in erotic positions, during the act.

We had never fucked. We barely shook hands, and even though I knew what he wanted, there had always been a distance between us. The walls and the ceiling.

I didn't know Tyler took a picture of me while I was sleeping. He had written down my name on it. I wondered if Marla or anyone else had seen it before the police. I wondered how I felt, knowing that he had taken this photo, and the meaning it had.

"He doesn't talk much. He doesn't like me to show him this photo, but he told me it was his heart, and that it was buried under the house. We found a body. You have an explanation ?"

I had tons of explanations, but I didn't want to share them with the agent. Tyler wouldn't have liked it, and I didn't like it either.

“Tell me about him.” he insisted.

"No."

“You know what he’s up to.”

“As much as you.”

“Give me something, or I’ll arrest you for obstruction of justice.”

"I don't know anything. We met on a beach, he put me up for a while, then I left. Don't tell him you saw me. It won't do you any good."

My mistake was not to believe that the agent would be intelligent enough to listen to my request. He listened. He didn't tell Tyler that I was alive.

No, my mistake was harder to see, seeming insignificant for several days, until I woke up in the middle of the night.

Even if he didn't tell him I was alive, the agent would still tell Tyler about me, hoping to get a reaction. He already knew from the picture that I was special, a point that needed to be pressed, and he wasn't going to stop.

So he was going to talk about our meeting. He was going to talk about the beach.

No one knew about the beach, except Tyler and me.

Since Tyler never told anyone, he would know everything without the agent needing to speak.

There was a bit of panic when the newspapers announced the escape of the leader of Project Mayhem. Speculation regarding his intentions was endless, ranging from bateriological terrorism, to bombing buildings, to assassinating the president.

Only I really knew why he was out there after all this time.

Contrary to what others think, he never wanted to take control or destroy the world. That wasn't the goal of Project Mayhem. Tyler had a vision on a human scale. He only likes to play, among other things.

If I dreamed of him, he dreamed of me. The difference was that while I was running as far away from his cell as possible, he had no reason to leave since he thought he knew where to find me. He still had his picture, and his memories.

Bob really had a talent for breaking things.

I could have continued to flee. It would have been less easy now that the agents of Chaos knew I was alive, but I could have tried. Like a new game. But I didn't like Tyler's games.

I decided to wait for him in my apartment. It was his move. It was always his move.

When he knocked on my door, he thought about bringing beers and pizza. He did this with Jack at home sometimes, at first. When there was still just the club.

He didn't say anything when he saw me, as if he always knew he would see me again one day. Maybe he knew.

Dinner passed in silence, facing each other, waiting. It was his move. I won't start. He seemed to understand it. He decided to make an effort.

“You remember the beach.” It was not a question.

“A guy building a giant hand, you don’t see that every day.”

"I guess not. You broke my heart. But I forgive you. I didn't think you remembered."

“We wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t remembered that.”

"Maybe not."

“I’ve always wanted to ask you, why this hand ?”

"I wanted to talk to God. Since he didn't answer, I decided to steal his hand. When I was finished, I looked at what it was pointing at and I saw you, looking back at me. Then I knew it was you."

"What me ?"

"It was you." he only repeated, as if I should understand what he meant, and the worst thing was that I understood perfectly what he meant.

Silence returned, as I finished my beer. All this was far too intimate, more intimate than his photos. More domestic. Something was seriously wrong with Tyler Durden.

I didn't know if I should talk about all the other things I knew. That would have made the situation even worse.

“I don’t like chaos.” was the only thing I could say.

"No one likes that, you'd have to be a moron. You never like what's necessary."

“Nothing is necessary.”

"I love you."

I vividly remembered Jack and Marla, two idiots who danced and screamed, unable to clearly admit how they felt and preferring to trample romance with cigarettes and condoms.

I had often judged Jack because of this. Not anymore. I wanted to slap my face with my hands and disappear, as Tyler started to smile.

Since I didn't need to say what I already knew, he didn't need to say what I already knew. I knew it from the plane. Since his invitation. From his bed above mine. Ever since he took a picture of me sleeping.

He didn't need to say it. We weren't talking about that. It was a new rule. Unfair.

“This can’t end well.”

"As always. Like everything. Endings are never good, that's the tragic thing. And yet, life goes on."

"I wanted to talk to you on this beach. It would have been different if I had."

"We would have fucked like dogs in your hotel room, I would have beaten up your asshole boss sooner, and the world would have burned down on its own. I'm glad you didn't talk to me."

I had sometimes dreamed of another path. I was stupid enough to have hope. Tyler was destroying hope, that was his reason for being, providing total freedom.

I wasn't sure what I was. I still am not today. His heart, maybe. His poor heart.

[trans-queen-administrator]

One of my friends asked what some of my favorite moment in Worm are and I've narrowed it down to just a few but how am I supposed to choose between "they seem like good people" I lied, or the second lung fight with the caterpillar in the eye to win, or Taylor breaking out of the burning building Coil trapped her in, or her terrorizing people while drinking tea, or when Taylor tries to 1v1 Leviathan to save people and gets her back shattered, or when Rachel saves her afterwards, or when we learn Rachel carved the names of her dogs into the monument, or when Taylor almost kills Triumph with bees, or the Mannequin fight, or running through the streets to warn people about Shatterbird's scream, or the fridge, or cutting Noelle in half, or just how hopeless the Noelle fight seemed before that with Eidolon caught, or Eidolon and Glaistig Uaine's fight with Scion, or Phir Sé's time bomb engulfing Behemoth and just obliterating him only for Behemoth to keep going, or Chevalier's interlude where he goes out to fight Behemoth alone despite being injured, or String Theory, or the wards therapy interlude where Lily can't get over how Taylor's words are stuck in her head, or Labyrinth and Burnscar reuniting, or Legend looking at the lie detector after the meeting, or Taylor hovering over the ocean knowing she doesn't have the battery in her flight pack to get back, or Aster getting shot, or the oil rig fight when Taylor crawls back up as a monster after being cut in half, or the horror of Alec's interlude, or Bonesaw having a crisis because Contessa said like 4 words to her and oh hey that parallels with you needed worthy opponents I never noticed that, or Taylor telling Eidolon and Scion to fuck off and leave, or Scion's entire interlude, or Number Man's interlude when he thinks about what it means of powers if Jack Slash's loves how he does stuff, or Kevin Norton, or Taylor ruining the chili, or the cafeteria scene where she's outed but talks her way out, or maggots in his eyes monday, or her turning herself in, or her talk with Dinah when she realizes that there's a solid chance she becomes Coil and keeps Dinah around because it's useful, or her killing Coil, or her killing Alexandria and Tagg, or the Cauldron raid where she swings a death knife through a crowd to hit one guy, or her requesting Lung cauterize her arm, or when Piggot is kidnapped and she fucks up the Undersiders just by talking, or Taylor's attempt to become besties with the Simurgh, or the Simurgh singing a lullaby to Lisa and Taylor, or the tea party with Nilbog, Taylor, Jack, and Riley, or the moment she reunites with her team post-timeskip, or when Glenn shows her a video of her being horrifying and she only thinks about her passenger moving her in it, or when her passenger makes her choke on a cockroach to save her, or going shopping with Lisa for fun, or when she helps Rachel at the shelter, or when she goes home with Brian and meets Aisha, or when we see Dinah for the first time and it's fucked, or when Taylor has Amy fuck with her brain knowing she won't come back from it, or when Lisa finally opens up and tells Taylor about her trigger, or when Taylor goes blind, or when Clockblocker keeps asking her questions in the car ride to Echdina, or when Scapegoat takes her injuries and freaks out, or when Sundancer tears off her costume and walks through the portal after killing Noelle but the pavement is cooling around her because she'll never escape her power or what she just did, or Fortuna's interlude, or Rachel stepping into Khepri's range because she trusts her, or Lisa tearing into Taylor with words after she sees what happened, or the realization she can't read anymore, or the fight with Dragon where she thinks she killed her, or all of the fight with Scion where she's controlling thousands of people while her brain deteriorates, or "finally, everyone was working together," or the talk with Contessa at the very end? How am I supposed to choose?

[starythewriter]

Sex with Jack Harlow all night (ONESHOT)

Minors DNI! Smut. 18+ unprotected sex. Always use protection.

A/N: 7/16/23: omg- y’all thank you for 100 NOTESSSSS I LOVE YALL for all the support!

Jack ends up fucking you roughly and deeply.

You're so fucking good that he barely registers you've come until you groan loudly when he releases his cum inside of you. Jack takes off his own shirt in between pants and looks down at your chest where you're still shuddering from the orgasm. "Shit. I didn't mean to fuck you so much." He pulls out a small towel and wipes at his chest while he waits for you to get your breath back. It only took a couple seconds but you are still catching it as you try to process what just happened. Jack doesn't want you to think this was an accident.

You smile and shrug,

"It wasn't so bad." And then

you give him another kiss. This one has some tongue. You have to pull away after you're finished because both of you can't handle kissing too long or having too intense sex. You need your brain for something more than just lust. You're not a slut like that. But Jack knows you'll go right back if he makes you feel wanted again. That's okay with him, though. He needs to know how to make you feel wanted. So, you don't stop. Not even when he starts to move. His hand is on your hip, holding you to him while he thrusts into you over and over. Your hands slip under his boxers and you touch him through the fabric. It feels good. A lot of things do. Jack lets out an approving noise and holds you tighter against him. The two of you are sweaty now, both breathing heavy. Jack can tell you were enjoying yourself too. The way your legs are wrapped around his hips, the moan you made.

His cock is still hard, leaking precome. Jack tries to pull away but you hold him closer, wanting more of his weight. 'Come here. You whisper.Jack doesn't have to be told twice. He lowers himself and you suck on him gently. Jack's hands travel lower to rest on your ass, pulling you close. One hand goes into your hair, the other rubs gently over your clit until you start moaning again.

Jack's thrusts grow faster, harder. Soon, he can't control himself anymore. He comes hard and fast inside of you and he knows it won't take long before you finish coming too. He kisses you hard as he rides out his orgasm and then he collapses beside you in a heap. When you catch your breath and calm down, you snuggle close to Jack, resting your head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around your waist, rubbing circles into your

back.

The two of you lie there together for several minutes, just basking in the moment. When Jack finally gets up, he kisses you, you kiss at moan at him. He smiles at you fondly when you ask for another kiss. "We need to clean up," you say eventually.

Jack nods, smiling fondly. He helps you to stand and then leads you toward the bathroom, which isn't all that far. Jack turns on the shower once you're both inside. He grabs a washcloth and wet it quickly before running back to you. He cleans your face and neck. While doing this, he tells you about his day and how much fun he had with his friends at school. When he's done cleaning you up and getting rid of the leftover semen in your underwear, he kisses you again. It tastes different this time and you're a little surprised to find Jack isn't kissing you the way he did before. You tilt your head up and meet his eyes before asking him about it. "Is something wrong?"

Jack shakes his head, "No, nothing. Then he pulls you into a hug. He's still holding the washcloth, wiping the sweat from your forehead.

Your skin is sticky. Jack presses a soft kiss to your lips before putting his hand under your thigh and pushing you onto the toilet seat. You gasp in surprise. "What the fuck?" you say. "I thought I was supposed to be washing you?"

Jack laughs, *I'm taking care of you. Now shut up and let me clean you." Before you can argue further, Jack climbs on top of you and starts scrubbing the soap suds away from your body.

It's slow at first but when you realize he's going to keep at it, you reach for his dick. You wrap your hand around it, caressing it gently until Jack pushes you aside gently and continues rinsing your body with the wash cloth. Once he's finished washing your body (he also lathers you up with a nice cream, using his fingers), he pulls you up to stand by your feet. You're naked save for your panties and the wash cloth.

After drying off, Jack grabs your hips and asks if you want to ride him, you agree and start to ride him aganist the well while he fucks you deeply.

It's really fucking amazing. He loves watching your pussy tighten around his cock as he hits your sweet spot. Jack wants to hear you cry out loud with each thrust of his cock. You look so beautiful right now that you could put the stars to shame.

It's like you're glowing with the sun itself. Jack loves it when you come, especially when he

loves it when you come, especially when he watches your face. He likes seeing your eyes close tightly and the look on your face when you lose control. The way you shake your shoulders and grip the counter behind you. When he sees the look of pure ecstasy on your face, he decides to give you a big smacking. His mouth on yours is like nothing else in the world. It doesn't matter that he's being rough or demanding or that your body is writhing underneath him. All that matters is Jack's hands and lips on you, his hands cupping your breasts, his mouth sucking on you.

And all that matters is how much you love it.

Once you're both spent and Jack is done washing you, he carries you to bed. There are no words spoken, but you know this is what they're doing.

You don't care. As long as you're in bed together, nothing else matters. Jack kisses your cheek before climbing onto the bed with you. You roll over and curl up next to him, spooning him. He's warm and smells like his soap. Your hands wander down his bare torso until they land on his belly.

He reaches down and covers your hands with his own. The feeling sends sparks flying through your veins. You sigh happily, leaning your cheek against the side of his ribs. Jack runs a hand up your arm and tugs on a strand of your hair before falling asleep.

TAGLIST FORM

[iamthecomet]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I just want you to know that my friend and I have been absolutely obsessed your fics and your Dew characterization. We keep reading them and then having literal book club level discussions about them and and honestly they have lead to our Dew brainrot getting out of control. Also I'm impressed the amount of range you have when writing. We read six of your fics independently before realizing all of them were by the same person. Like we would read one and then discuss and one of us would be like "well you should also read this other fic because the writing and characterization is so good" before being like "oh shit this is the same writer" so yea I just think you should know the massive effect you're having on our lives.

If it's not much, I'd like to know your thoughts on Dew's relationship with sex and how it pertains to his trauma. Although this fandom is primarily porn, Dew especially feels written to be super hypersexual compared to the other ghouls and it can manifest in interesting ways. Even if an author has not intended to write Dew as having an unhealthy relationship with sex, just the way that he is written in general by the entire fandom almost makes it seem like sex is the only thing he has to give (or at least that's what he thinks and that's how others act). So I've thinking lately about a Dew who becomes less enthusiastic about sex or even sex-repulsed and I'd just like to hear your insight on that.

Thank for you all the great work you put out into world. My friend and I enjoy it immensely.

HI!?!? Sorry I've been hoarding this ask since I got it last night because it made me INSANE?!!!?!? First things first this is so fucking SWEET!? YOU HAVE BOOK GROUP LEVEL DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MY PORN? I love you and your friend. THANK YOU. I cannot express how much this means to me. Highest levels of compliments right here. I'm so glad you read so much of my stuff independently and didn't realize it was me and still LOVED it. I am giving you and your friends SO MANY HUGS (if you want them). I'm really glad you love my Dew. He's SO special to me, and complicated and just, thank you for loving him too. AND now, onto the other part of this. Because I love to make Dew's life miserable (as you know). Some thoughts about Dew's relationship with sex, under the cut.

So, I sometimes think that post-elemental-transition Dew is really not into sex for a while. His whole body is new and different. He doesn't recognize himself in the mirror. His body doesn't WORK the same way anymore. Even jacking off isn't fun--it feels wrong. Like it's someone else's dick even though he feels it. He's not as wet. He's burning hot all the time. It's just not right. He's not right. And the idea of other people touching him? seeing him like this? he hates it. He wants nothing to do with it. Can't even stomach the thought of having sex with anyone else anymore. It isn't the same, never will be again. I also, sometimes think that Water Dew was less into sex than fire Dew. Not repulsed, just not enthusiastic about it. It was fun. It was a way to connect with his packmates. It meant something. Fire Dew? he's good at it, he's confident. People want him. And if he keeps them happy they'll keep wanting him. They won't leave. He'll never be alone again. I really think there's a little bit of all of that in even my version of Dew. The ebb and flow of his sexuality. From sex is a fun thing I do sometimes but it isn't everything )(or even very much of anything) to I cannot stomach the idea of having sex. I will never do it again. Thinking about it makes me want to shatter into a thousand pieces to, using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism for other insecurities he doesn't know how to talk about. And, I think, eventually, (after some hard conversations) to a version of him who just enjoys it. No insecurities. Does it when he wants--doesn't when it doesn't feel good. That he can lean into that ebb and flow of his own body and listen to it instead of constantly trying to fight against himself to be someone he thinks other people want. A hard-won version of himself that he, finally, actually likes.

[zoyaofthegardvn]

Nesta Archeron - NSFW Alphabet <3

AN: Can't believe I haven't written for her yet! Only valid acotar character fr

CW: Smut! 18+ plz!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Nesta is intense in bed, and I think she completely switches gears afterwards because she knows she can be really rough. We know from ACOSF that she's a cuddler after sex, and I think she is immediately scooping you up into her arms, rubbing your back, holding you, smoothing your hair out of your face, wiping your tears away, whispering sweet praises into your ear. She's all over you after sex, helping you come down and get comfortable.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Gonna be straightforward. She loves your cunt. She is totally pussy whipped for you and can quickly get pussy drunk. She loves how much pleasure she can bring you, how she can punish you there, and the fact that your cunt belongs to her and her alone. She can spend hours between your legs.

On herself, I think she likes her tits a lot. They're perky and full, and she's always using them to tease you. They're definitely your favorite part of her to pay attention to in the bedroom, and she's always demanding/guiding you to her breasts. Breast play is huge for you two.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think Nesta is meannnnn when it comes to coming. Mean as in she is edging you til you absolutely cannot take it anymore, and then she's overstimulating you and sending you into several orgasms, one right after the other. When she's punishing you, she'll make sure she's come several times before she'll even touch you, saying, "This is all you're good for, little slut, making me come."

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

She's totally a mean!dom. She is degrading, harsh, and rough. But it stems from her jealousy and possessiveness, no actual ill feelings towards you. She loves and adores you, and as much as she loves to put you in your place, you never doubt that she cares about you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

She's relatively experienced, but you're her first girlfriend. So she's unexperienced when it comes to being with women, but you'd never be able to tell. Her taking on the dom role is a bit new to her too, but she does it with ease.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

She'll tie you up and use you as she pleases, she'll ride your face, thigh, stomach, and she'll rub her pussy against yours. Or, she'll bend you over her lap or a surface and take you from behind. Whatever position makes it clear that she's in control.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

She's never unserious. It's happened a few times, when you're having soppy slow sex, but 99% of the time, it's intense and harsh.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think she trims but she isn't completely bare. It's nice and tidy, maybe even a landing strip sometimes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I won't say she's never romantic, because it does happen, but mostly it's filthy. She's spanking your ass or your pussy, spitting on your cunt or down your throat, choking you and mocking you as you beg and cry. She's tying you up, edging you, using your body. It's not not intimate, but it's very dirty.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She used to do it a lot before you, and sometimes she does still if she's away from you for a while, but she rarely needs to.

But, she does like to tie you up and make you watch as she gets herself off.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She has lots of them:

Choking, spanking, anal play, spitting, edging, overstimulation, bondage, degradation, breast worship.

She also has a crying kink. She loves when you cry from the intense pleasure.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

She'll take you anywhere that isn't too public. She isn't into voyeurism. But she'll fuck you anywhere in your shared house, outside in a field or on a beach, and she'll drag you away to an alley behind the club you're at if she feels the need to.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

She's huge into punishing you. If you do one little thing she doesn't like, she's using it as an excuse to punish you. Someone is flirting with you? She's spanking your ass red and fucking you hard with a strap. You get an attitude with her? Roll your eyes? She's spitting down your throat and riding your face while you struggle to breath. You come home late and fail to tell her? She's bending you over the kitchen table and fingering your ass while you beg for forgiveness.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don't think there's very much she won't do, unless something is a hard no for you. But I do think she would refuse to share you, she's possessive and easily jealous. She left threesomes behind her when she met you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Like I said, she's obsessed with your pretty little cunt. I think she prefers to give because of how much control over you she has when she does. But, she loves her pussy ate too. She loves to ride your face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough. You two are drenched in sweat when you're done, covered in hickies and scratches, tears streaming down your face.

When it's slow and sensual, it's because of something emotional. One of you was hurt recently, you've done something she's really proud of you for, you're stressed and upset, etc etc. Those are the times when it's slower and more romantic, but it's no less dirty.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

She's a huge fan. She's always instigating a quickie before you have to leave for work or training in the morning, or she's pulling you into the bathroom at Rita's because she just can't resist how hot you look. She will never turn down a quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Oh for sure. She loves to experiment and try new things. Once, when she was fucking you with a strap, she spit on your ass and pushed a finger into your tight hole. It took you by surprise, but the risk paid off because now you both love ass play. She loves to try new things in the bedroom, and most of the time, it results in something that is a permanent aspect of your sex life.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

She can last for hourssss. She is dedicated to keeping you on the edge for as long as possible, and then pulling several orgasms from you. She can come a lot, too, so you both are thoroughly fucked out and spent when the night is over. You can start mid afternoon and not be done until late evening.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Yes, I think so. You two have ropes and ties for her to use on you, a strap, a vibrator, and maybe even a crop she uses to spank your ass. Nothing especially crazy, but you do have some.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She tries to tease you, but you're much stronger than her in that area. She shows off her cleavage to you a lot, or she'll smack your ass when you walk by, but that's about it. She's usually the one that can't take any sort of teasing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She's loud, for sure. She grunts, groans, moans, screams. And she's always encouraging you to be loud, too.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She will literally make shit up as an excuse to punish you. You'll set your glass down "too hard," so she's spanking your ass raw. You'll turn away from her in your sleep, and she's waking you up with her fingers in your pussy, edging you til you're crying. You'll "look at her the wrong way" and she's got you on your knees, eating her cunt until she's coming at least twice.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

She's toned, her arms have grown some muscle over the years of her training. Her tits are a handful, and her ass is perky, too.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

She always wants you. I think you two are each having at least one orgasm a day. You two only ever miss out on sex if you're exhausted, sick or hurt, or one of you is away on a mission.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She's more worried about you than she is her own comfort and rest. She always waits til you're asleep to drift off herself. She'll comb through your hair, wipe you down with a washcloth, get you some water, press delicate kisses to your forehead, and basically do a complete 180 from how she was during sex. She gets really soft when she gets to take care of you like that. Only when she's satisfied that you're safe and comfortable will she let herself fall asleep.

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

First thoughts from just one watch under shitty circumstances with bad internet and worse sound:

RAMBLING FRANK vs RUSSIA THOUGHTS

I was very worried about this episode with how sacred the S5 DENNIS System episode is to us all. Didn't want a Thunder Gun 4 situation on our hands and thankfully they avoided it so hard! I think having the plot with Charlie, Frank, the mums, Uncle Jack and chess really helped out to make it feel more than a direct sequel.

SINNED -> DENNIS -> SINNED -> DENNIS — I'm so impressed with this. How did I, a wholeass Sunny fan, miss this for so long?! Three cheers to whoever came up with that inversion, really! Definitely something that happened in the writer's room and made everyone lose their shit for sure. I wonder who it was, could be Meg or another writer too, given how collaborative they all are!

And can I just say, Dennis the Restaurant Manager... oh how I love you so much! The Waitress is Getting Married is a personal favourite of mine and I wasn't expecting a bit of a redux of that whole situation.

I was so worried about all the "Mac getting a boyfriend and it being Ryan Reynolds" theories and I absolutely wanted none of that. Everyone had speculated it to death and it wouldn't have been fun anymore (not to mention I do not care for RR in my Sunny, I'm sure he's fine, but I don't need his and Rob's PR relationship filtering through into my dickandball show no I don't "find them cute" and I won't elaborate here anymore).

I know we'd guessed that Johnny could've been Dennis catfishing Mac, but it definitely felt like we were doing an Insane Fan Speculation more than anything — and for it to turn out to be correct! And in the best way, because we never could've seen the vibrating anal beads coming!! That's the best kind of "called it but it's still unpredictable".

It really broke my mind, this episode did. And don't even get me started on the Macdennis and queer Dennis of it all! As a longtime believer in Bisexual Dennis, I won so hard! All of us Queer Dennis Truthers won so fucking hard!

[Unpopular Take incoming] This is the first Sunny episode credited to Meg for writing that has felt so wholly "Classic Sunny" and super fuckin hilarious to me. I always appreciated her understanding of the characters and she's always a very solid writer, but this is the first time where I felt myself thinking ok, you she write RCG/Hornsby/Marder-Rosell/Chernins-level of an insane chaotic Sunny episode with multiple belly laughs and not just slightly Community-fied versions of the gang.

The closest her writing has felt like true Sunny to me before this was Dee Day, so I'm glad to see her grow and improve too, and I wonder if the podcast rewatch has helped in that regard! Must also help to have a classic S5 structure to play off in The D.E.N.N.I.S. System! (And ofc writing is collaborative, so well done to RCG and all the writers who pitched ideas and rewrites that ended up shaping this episode!)

I knew Heath Cullens directing meant a good chance of some interesting camerawork (and I've gotta say that even The Gang Inflates had some more dynamic shots than we've been getting in some of the later years and it's got to be the Cullens directing), but I wasn't expecting a whole visual callback to Being Frank! Loved it.

And the editing! The DENNIS System has always been great for cutaway gags and fun little inserts, so I loved seeing that carried out here with the cuts to Mac and Dee fucking up their dates and then finally pulling out the Magic Tissue of Mummy Issues (oh the potential for meta especially with the twins!). The pacing was so good!

Sunny pacing needs to feel like Mac crashing Dee's car into a wall while we are all Charlie watching it in real time and screaming when it's over.

Random strings of words because I'm too excited to be coherent:

Glenn's acting. His faces. His eyes. His range in this episode. Glacting. Juilliard. All the hits. All the big ones.

Mac and Dennis have canonically had sex in two different ways now, and yes, I'm including their sex tape/porn viewing sessions where they both masturbate together

Did Dennis pull out Mac's anal beads when he was asleep?

Vibrating fucking anal beads what the ACTUAL FUCK!

How many people did the gang drug again?

Danny DeVito with a vibrating asshole comedy acting 12/10 he's an international treasure for a reason

Dee stealing people's phones she's so stupid and bad at men. Never change Dee.

Uncle Jack though, pls change plz, I'm an IASIP loving degenerate so I laughed in horror at his creepiness ofc as I have since 1x7 but fucking hell man, can he be in his jail era already! Poor Charlie!

Hey, Charlie's got new America's just as we were promised on the pod

Oh I should make a post about everything we saw in this episode and that episode of the pod where they gave us all those hints, especially Meg talking about struggling with this cold open — added to the never-ending list of drafts and posts that will hopefully one day make it onto the blog yeah I'm lying to myself now

Parental issues everywhere this season, especially with the mums. Reynolds kids, I can't wait to lovingly put you under my microscope. Once I've rewatched this episode with good sound.

Also just in general, the SINNED system just says SO much about our babygirl's psychology, does it not? Why did so much of it sound like self-insert speeches, like he's been doing this to Mac or smt? Don't even talk to me about The Gang Chokes!

What does r/iasip have to say about— no, I'm in my happy place, I'm not even gonna go there.

Mrs Mac and Mrs Kelly watching TV together like that, they really are lesbian life partners.

Dennis blue shirt with top-stick between those buttons, my beloved. I am looking, respectfully.

And can we talk about the "opening the ketchup bottle" scene? We have to take about that scene! Dennis... he's ruining me... need to gnaw on him and suck on his fingers wait I'm browning out...

Sidenote: I love whenever the show references news stories which were super fucking big at a very specific time in a very specific niche, especially with my whole family being so chess-obsessed. The cheating scandals and anal bead… never thought I'd see a Sunny crossover but can't say I'm not loving the shit out of it!

[lostonehero]

@gizm0-gadgetz fir return to New Texas

A continuation of the previous thingy

"You know I was planning on coming back here to break Billy again, but I suppose I could make due with you, Jack." Valerie smiles and kisses Jonny's forehead. "Wait, here, my baby boy."

"Mom?" Jonny blinks, staring at his mom. The mechs and hr remained in the casino. The rest have long cleared out.

"Funny thing about this." Valerie holds up her watch. "Your father is in here. My it was fun breaking him in to be a good pet speaking of. Billy start the process. I want Jack uploaded it onto this." She takes out a metal box seemingly a portable memory device.

Billy seems to solidify taking the machine and walks towards Jack on the floor. That's when the screaming started.

Jonny stares at his mom. "Will he...?"

"Your father won't hurt you, not anymore. And Jack, well, I'll have my own fun with him." Valerie helps Jonny up. "How about you introduce me to your friends? This tends to take a while and can get a bit messy."

Jonny hugs his mom tight. "How? You... you vanished. You were going to clean up dad's mess like always, and you just vanished."

Valerie smiles softly and bends her son down to place his head against her chest.

Jonny pauses and pales. "Your... your heart is ticking."

The mechs stare wide-eyed at the woman who claims to be Jonny's mother.

"Yeah unfortunately Carmillia is a cunt." Valerie ruffles her son's hair. "Although we match now." She hums softly approaching the mechs. "You must be Jonny's friends. My name is Valerie D'ville, and I'm his mother. And yes I do recall our encounters Marius."

Marius pulls Jr off his back. "I believe he is also yours."

Valerie chuckles. "Two boys then." She grabs Jr, who clings to her. "Jonny, you have a little brother now. What have they been calling you?"

"Jr." Jr hugs his mom tightly.

"That works." Valerie smiles, slinging Jonny over her other shoulder. "Come on, you two, I'm sure you want out of this awful casino."

Nastya crossed her arms and stepped in front. "I don't fucking buy this. Who the fuck are you actually? Look, just because you calmed Jonny down doesn't mean shit."

Valerie stops and turns to face Nastya. "Nastya." She smiles, and a chill runs through the desert air. She puts down Jonny and Jr. "I am Valerie D'ville. I am the first mechanism. I have been traveling the stars hunting for the Aurora for eons. I have been looking for my son. You dare accuse me of lying? Darling, unlike you, I don't abandon my family. I have been searching as soon as I got my footing, being thrust into immortality. Maybe if you actually made an effort to listen to my boy, you would have understood who I am."

Nastya steps back.

Valerie doesn't let her speak. "Did you figure out what you wanted when you abandoned your family? Your lover? Your brother? Of course not. You just want everything back to normal as if you never left. Just because I never caught up to y'all doesn't mean I didn't do my research. I have tracked my boy across the stars through the Gods tantrum. I have face deities and killed them for less. Do not threaten me because, unlike you - " She stops as Jonny grabs her arm.

"Mom, that's enough. Please, I just... I want to leave here." Jonny holds onto his mother. "I'll tell them."

Valerie smiles softly. "You don't have to. I'll tell them everything, and I'll tell you everything." She ruffles Jonny's hair. "I know you're tired and a mess. Just give me a moment." She pulls out a device and taps something into it, and a short pause there's a loud sound outside the casino. "Billy, take Jack with you and destroy the body when it's done."

"Understood, Val." Billy picks up Jack and heads out.

"What did you do?" Jr stares up at his mom.

Valerie chuckles. "I have my own ship. It would be a lot nicer to talk there than in this shithole. That means everyone." She snaps her fingers. "Either come or not, but I'm taking my boys."

The mechs scramble to follow even Nastya.

.......

Jonny was out like a light as Valerie tucked him in while the other watched. "You don't have to stare. I can tell you he's perfectly safe."

"That isn't why we are staring." Ashes crosses their arms. "Never seen Jonny fall asleep that fast before."

Valerie chuckles softly. Jr was already asleep clinging to her back. "It's from the stress of everything. He just crashed along with this little guy. I'm not surprised." She removes Jr from her back and places him next to Jonny, and both immediately cling to each other under the covers. She sits in a chair, leans back, and smiles. "Now, let us actually talk."

"How did Carmillia get you?" Eyes landed on Tim as he asked.

Valerie chuckles. "I like you. I was cleaning up Billy's mess as I normally did. He managed to accrue a debt with the new doctor in town, and it was, unfortunately, my job to clean up. Why do you think Jack only had one eye? I took it. However, Carmillia had different plans than sexual favors or even working it off. She wanted to test a new technology, and I had no choice but to agree. She thought I was a failure and shot me off into space. Just took a bit to come back." She scoffs. "She did fix my heart, but that was before she told me about you guys and, more importantly, my own boy. Our relationship deteriorated after that."

"Why do you seem to have so many wanted posters?" Marius scratched his chin. "You always seem to be ahead of us."

"Darling, you don't get where I am by playing nice." Valerie smirks. "Although it has been awhile and thankfully I'm not bored."

[mdhwrites]

So, what made the villains in Amphibia, DuckTales 2017, maybe Star vs seasons 1-3, and Gravity Falls like Andrias, the Core, Grime, Sasha, Magica, Bradford, Lunaris, Glomgold, Ludo, Toffee, Meteora, Gideon, and Bill Cipher work better than TOH's villains like Belos and the Collector?

Okay so on the one hand, it's reasonable to ask me about what makes something work if The Owl House is failing at it. I'm assuming the same person though has sent me this sort of ask three times now where it's like "Hey, if TOH fucked this up, what makes it work for these others" and its kind of uncomfortable for me. First there's just the fact that I have not seen any of these series to their endings. I've watched one season of Star, literally a handful of Gravity Falls episodes and a season and a half of Amphibia. I cannot do the deep dives on any of these shows that I can do with TOH that help highlight them. But perhaps more importantly: I don't like the DIRECT opposition of these shows against each other. I have done blogs like that and even on a subject like this I've mentioned Amphibia's monsters. That's to prove an overall point though and to teach about the writing. When the thesis is "Why are these shows better than TOH" it gets... It gives the impression that if I can't prove ALL of these correct, then you won't believe the original analysis which goes into why these elements don't work and thus also does go into partially why they do work. And that's not a good place to be in a debate. It's just kind of uncomfortable and sets a bad precedent. Like if you just want to know what good villain writing looks like... Ask that. Until very recently I was calling myself a professional writer for a reason. I know what I'm talking about. I can just go into what makes a good one off villain versus a big bad, a good organized villain and not, etc. like that and I'll figure out examples that work well for the concept of the lesson. And that's the thing: I talk about this stuff as lessons, not to prove TOH is categorically worse than anything else out there. That's not my goal and explicitly attacking it while uplifting other modern cartoons is explicitly trying to prove why TOH is worse than them and I'm not comfortable with that. Just as a quick example though for what a villains lesson from me would look like, one part of it is absolutely tone. If we aren't SUPPOSED to take the threat seriously, than a goofball villain is great. Look at Jack Cypher from Xaolin showdown. He's the main bad guy for a WHILE and he works really well for while the series isn't that serious and then they swap in for a tonally consistent big bad when they get more dramatic. Jessie and James aren't great villains because they're successful but because they facilitate a LOT of great silliness keeping in tone with childishness of Pokemon. But these are also consistent villains who when they bare their teeth, that shock hits both the story and the viewer but also only if it's earned, just like Zuko turning good only works as a villain redemption because he earns that right to change his inherent tone. The Collector and Belos don't do this. They're tonally inconsistent. We never really know how seriously we're supposed to take Belos because the show has a hard time keeping him intimidating while glorifying Luz. It's part of what makes Elsewhere Elsewhen suck so much. We can't take Belos as seriously anymore and we're not sure what his tone is supposed to be when we're obviously meant to think Philip is kind of an idiot, one note asshole, etc. like that and then all the mystique and threat Belos is simultaneously terminated. The Collector similarly is meant to be tonally a big threat and problem which lasts until the end of King's Tide. After that, his tone is literally anything but threatening so you're just waiting for his redemption that won't be earned and bored the rest of the time. And those are just big bads. One off villains have their own issues with tone and presentation and keeping up some sort of novelty to them. I can ABSOLUTELY do a blog about villains in general. I just don't want it to be explicitly about "Yeah, TOH fucking blows versus the modern cartoon market". That's just not my goal and it never has been.

[faebriel]

hgs brainrot has returned due to tbosas .. speaking of hgs here’s an ask abt the hgs au: if things were totally different, and Wilbur were to be a 12 victor, what do you think a possible mentor-tribute dynamic would look like between him & Niki? I feel like it would be similar to Snow & Lucy in the way that he’s just going out of his way to cheat n help her

anon u have in fact struck jackpot because this is a concept i was spinning some thoughts abt before bee mentioned avoxes and we went OOOOH at that!!! so yes i have considered rainduo as a mentor-tribute dynamic and would love to talk about that concept too :]

so for this concept i think wilbur and niki would be close friends throughout childhood from 12, and then in their teens wilbur is reaped and, well, no one has particularly high hopes (he's a writer and a musician at heart, not a fighter) but through sheer trickery and dumb luck, he makes it to the end of the games. wilbur pulled some pretty fucked up tricks to win - when you can't use brute force, you have to use your brain - and partly due to the trauma of the games, partly due to his shame and survivor's guilt, he sinks into the capitol and relishes a new life there as a socialite. to him, the old wilbur died in the games and the new one has taken his place - to niki, and to his other friends in 12, whatever the games did to him made him into every vapid heartless capitol victor there is.

or. niki has her doubts. they all saw how horrible the games were, but surely there is some part of him left, some part that's hurting, even if it's buried deep?

anyway.

like og spin of the au, niki is reaped and this sucks - this time she does expect wilbur as her mentor on the train, and she expects some kind of warm welcome (maybe even an apology for leaving them so suddenly and silently? an explanation?) but she gets jack shit. wilbur is jaded and cruel and unrecognisable and niki entirely hates it. this is the part where i REALLY WISH we got some time of those two beefing with each other directly in canon (or at least interactions while niki was So Mad at him) but it's okay we fly blind. niki feels abandoned, lonely, thrown off of her kilter - she expected an ally in this place, but she doesn't recognise the person wilbur has become. she doesn't recognise his shallowness (...much), his ruthless advice for the arena, the way he doesn't seem to care for anything. she's scared and now she's lonely and it pisses her off - their mentorship is fraught. here are some thoughts from discord on that:

i tend to think of niki as a bit naïve before l'manberg or even doomsday - i think this is an au where this streak would come out real strong, and niki is stubborn that she can get through the games without losing herself. stubborn that she can stop things, that she can protect people. i don't think wilbur is cold enough (or, really, can bear to say aloud) to say that her odds in the arena are slim enough as it is, but he definitely tells her that she's making enemies and that her odds of survival dwindle with the more trouble she causes.

beyond that... hm. niki's trust in wilbur is almost unshakeable until nov 16, even when she outright says she doesn't recognise him anymore. i think she'd reluctantly listen re: don't burn down any buildings, but she would grow bolder each day she had to stay in the capitol. she gets more honest in front of the cameras. she makes more friends in training, and not the ones wilbur recommends. she throws barbs at him every time he makes one of those callous, cold-hearted comments about other tributes and rankings and odds. and besides, she's going in the arena this time, not him. she needs to practice her bravery.

it's like... she hasn't given up on him. she thinks the old wilbur is in there somewhere. (she is wrong. that is not how trauma works.) but she won't hold her tongue just because she

for extra angst points could definitely play up the whole 'feeling abandoned' angle between them as niki goes into the arena - probably due to how fraught their friendship gets leading up to the games. niki wants to focus on them and their friendship, wilbur has stringently cut off (almost) everything from 12 and refuses to let her in; he tells her to behave for the cameras, she tells him she never will. i think the last point in that screenshot would also make for a super tasty argument where niki feels wilbur has gone astray, that he's abandoned 12, and that he'll probably do nothing but sit on his ass and watch her die and he can't even bring himself to care about her anymore, can he? just more fodder for the arena. and honestly, i think wilbur would passively agree with most of that - he values niki's opinion, after all, even now, and if she says he's rapidly descending into a lost cause then she must be right. and it's niki, so she will be fine, and he goes to his bedroom that night and tries to pretend he is sleeping perfectly fine instead of feeling paralysed with fear.

okay now onto the games - YES HE SO WOULD. or at least i think he would go out of his way to help. as for cheating - he's a recent victor for 12 and i think he would value tommy (no doubt a link to him... i think they'd be in touch in this au also) too much to risk the punishment falling onto him as well. i get the vibes this is a games closer to 74th than 10th, so there are far fewer opportunities to cheat and the consequences of getting caught are higher. but schmoozing up sponsors? making stupid ass radio interviews or whatever to talk up niki's odds? sharing anecdotes from their childhood - some real, some entirely fabricated - across capitol airwaves to stoke their sympathy? 100%. with less to lose in this au, i think niki would be far less inclined to play nice for the cameras - i hope you starve, she spits at one of them, and wilbur appears on a talkshow two days later as she scrambles for survival in the arena to talk up how she always saved loaves from the bakery for the poorest mothers and children in 12. he borrows and begs and swindles to the point where it feels like cheating. but hey, this new wilbur is capitol-branded. he knows how to play the game.

if anything he probably sinks into the game a little too much. self-preservation is not his forte. probably wracks up a few heavy debts and favours to owe, but those are not priority until niki is out of the arena, alive. as long as she wins, and as long as the family he has isn't in danger, he will manage. wow it would suck if at some point those two goals became impossible to co-achieve. anyway

i kind of see niki's victory in the arena being similar to the one in the main au - if only because planning out an entire games is hard for meee >-< . she walks in bolder and braver for sure, and with a less strategic pick of allies, but they all get picked off and she spends a few weeks so terrified she can barely sleep and then she ruptures some fuel line and sets the arena alight with a fire that burns brighter and more ravenously than it should. but she wins, and she's airlifted out of a filthy, muddy creek she had resigned herself to die in, and wilbur barges his way through as many peacekeepers so that he can actually see her with her burnt skin and hair and unfocused eyes and trust that what was on the screens wasn't a fluke, and that they made it. and then it's just a matter of surviving the after.

i'm sure there are some other random quirks or tidbits i can think of re: this take on a c!rainduo hunger games au but these are my base thoughts!!